OLD ONES

PART 1

Voracity

Sometimes a Xander is more of a Xander than you thought, and a more important Xander than the girls want to realize.  Sometimes Xander is even an Old One.

Table of Contents

1: The Old Ones

Sometimes Xander isn't Xander, he's Alexander.  Not that nearly anyone knew but some people need the help of such a guy and he's there to step in and be the white knight he's always been.

2: The Old Ones Keep Going

Things get worse in Sunnydale, even with others stepping in to help.   Plus a few battles have to be fought outside of Sunnydale, which means Xander's not really a content boy.  Oh, and that little Losers tiff is finally worked out in someone's head.  Heavily NC-17 for two different Roque/someone scenes.

3: The Old Ones Return

The fallout from Willow's problem.  The witness statements, the parents that can't seem to accept blame, Xander dealing with his eye.  And maybe a little bloom of interest for Xander from a decent woman.

4: Old Ones In Store

Once they get to move back home, Xander takes over the Magic Box until Giles can come back, and really a lot of the work after he does come back.  Xander has ideas that work pretty well for the store.

5: Old Ones In Style

All the old ones have to step together to end a plot, but first there's some lighter stuff, like dates. And clubbing.  And more gooing and courting.

6: Old Ones Being Pissed Off

The actions of the NID cause a lot of things to change and a lot of Goddesses to get really pissed off.  The Pissed Off Goddess Tea Society is not one to screw with.

7: Old Ones' Mates and Mothers

Some 'ship work for Roque/Clay and Xander starts to get more serious about Carolyn, no matter what his mother does.  NC-17 Clay/Roque.

8: Old Ones In Love And Battles

More on the upcoming apocalypse and we see the terror that will one day be unleashed on humanity being born.

9: Old Ones With Powers

Did they even think before the higher ups mandated that each son of a chaos god had to have a power surge to power them every decade?

10: Plotting Old Ones

Xander has to go with Odin's decree.  In a way that's uniquely his own.

11: Tiny Old Ones

Willow fixes something that's making Tara cry but it creates hell for an Old One and a few others. Spoilers for _The Avengers_ movie in a big way.  Also, a slight fix it.

12: Training Old Ones

The first group of recruits show up at Xander's new temple to be trained.

13: Weird Emergencies For The Old Ones

Sometimes weird emergencies happen around SHIELD and other places.  Thankfully, someone has a clue, even if she is in trashy clothes even her sister would call ho gear.

Note: set lightly within the Marvel movie verse, kinda.  With my own few twists because I've only seen trailers and spoilers for a few of the upcoming movies.

1: The Old Ones

Sometimes Xander isn't Xander, he's Alexander.  Not that nearly anyone knew but some people need the help of such a guy and he's there to step in and be the white knight he's always been.

Xander watched what was going on and grimaced.  Yeah, the message he had gotten... things were going to shit quickly.  So he knew what he had to do.  The message he had been sent had been pretty specific about who the bad guys were.  It was just like his former friend and now nemesis to get involved in something like this.  He snuck closer, taking out the watching idiots.  They were good but he....well, he was in a class of his own really.  Still.

He got the three idiots trying to guard their sixes down and went further to rescue the teammates.  One was separated but he took out the car and let him escape.  He got the other guards from a hidden spot and it was nice.  Then he saw *her* watching and plotting.  "Bitch," he muttered.  He walked out and killed two of the three holding the other three hostage.  Then kicked the other one back into one of them when they hopped up.  "Hi, guys.  I was told to come rescue your heroic asses."  He grinned.  "So let's get moving."

"He's shot," the blond guy said.

Xander stared at him.  "Fireling," he murmured.  "You're all protected.  I got asked to protect you."  The blond glared at him.  "I'm Alexander."  The blond relaxed slightly.  "C'mon, let's get you guys out of here."  He helped them get him up and toward the parking lot.  "My keys," he told the older one, handing them over.  "He told me there were only three to save.  You guys take my car, go to where I tell you, and you'll be safe.  I'll make sure of it."

"Who are you?" the older guy demanded.

"Xander."  He grinned.  "It's a long story."  He held up a letter, letting it be snatched from him.  It was still sealed.  "It came with the one he sent me."

"I know that handwriting," the blond said, glaring at him.

"I knew him when he was little."  He shrugged.  "Now I'm protecting things in whole new ways while he's off doing...stupid shit apparently."  He sighed.  "Anyway, he asked me to protect you guys."  He heard a screech and turned, pulling the axe off his back to swing at the woman rushing his way.  She ducked it but he followed and got her knocked out a few minutes later.  "Okay.  We'll deal with you later, Aisha."

"You know her?" the older one growled.

Xander smiled.  "Yes, and a lot of her seven thousand victims over the last few generations.  She's not what you think."  He picked up the dropped letter.  "You're going to a small town a few hours away.  If you need medical on the way, it's better to do that here in town because my local hospital sucks ass and likes to kill people to be blunt.  You can steal from them easily enough if we have to though."  He stared at him.  "Use my car, get your team to safety."

"You don't know who we are."

"I don't care who you are," he admitted.  "I got asked to save your asses and protect you until you were able to deal with some shit.  Which is what I'm doing.  I'm not your usual contact but I think I can be pretty damn helpful.  I have a nice apartment set up that you guys can bum.  The town's really deadly so don't go out after dark or invite people in.  I've got my medical kit and we can get you guys whatever you need at the moment to heal, catch your breath, and move on."  He heard sirens.

"Go here," he said, holding up his ID.  "139 93rd street.  It's a basement apartment.  One of them stinks like hell and the other is yours to bum.  I'll have the tenant hit my couch for a few weeks.  Then we'll get you guys sorted out."  The older guy nodded and Xander helped them to the car.  "I've got a small map machine in the car."  He turned when someone shouted and ran his way, shooting them in the leg.  "Shut up."  They stopped to stare at him.  One walked around them.  "Miller.  Fancy meeting you here," he said dryly.

"Harris?"  Xander nodded.  "We have major issues if you're helping them."

"You have major issues anyway," Xander said dryly.  "I got asked to help them."  He handed the blond the letter.  "Read it later.  It might have some ideas."

"There's a guy named Max," the older team member said.

"Yeah, right," Miller sneered.  Xander glared at him.  "What?  Is this more freakish Sunnydale shit?"

"Ehh, slightly," Xander admitted.  "Agent Coulson, pleasant seeing you here," he said when he spotted him walking through the group.  "Colonel, this guy is SHIELD and I was told to trust them implicitly," he said quietly, staring at Clay.  He handed over the letter he had been sent by his present nemesis and went to handle a few things while Coulson handled things.  Miller, of course, followed.

Agent Coulson nodded, folding it back up.  "Colonel, let me look up something.  Miller, I want your PDA please," he ordered.  "SHIELD business."  He groaned but handed it over.  "A few years back, Mr. Harris' team took down a special operations project that Mr. Miller was sucked into for them doing torture," he told Clay then he smiled.  "We often watch that group in confusion because they're fairly....strange."  He got into it.  "I see.  Max?" he asked, looking up.

"He's here somewhere.  There's a bomb somewhere too."

"Boys, find the bomb, bring it to me," Coulson ordered.  "I'm betting Xander can fix it."  He looked over.  "If he quits pretending."

"Sure but can I have someone do a memory spell?" Xander quipped.  He called someone.  "Willie, Harris.  I am sending four people to Spike's apartment because I have been asked to help them with a fucking moron of the universe problem.  Yes, this is all me, Willie," he said before he could say anything.  "They are sacred; tell Spike he can have my couch.  No one is to touch them," he ordered firmly.

"They'll be there in a few hours.  Tell Spike to hand them my med kit, one's been shot.  I'll pay him back for any necessities like transplantable blood later."  He grimaced.  "Sure, put her on."  The tone of his voice changed to more goofy.  "Buffy, Xander.  I just got asked to help protect a few guys who got royally screwed by a demon overlord wannabe by a very ancient friend who I kinda owe a lot.  They're military but *good* guys.  Much better than anything Riley's people could ever dream of being sort of good.  I'll give Spike my couch so they can have his place.

"Yeah, I'll give them the standard Sunnydale rules."  He took a swing with the axe he pulled off his back.  "No, a demonic wench," he said dryly, after splitting her skull open.  Then he beheaded her.  "That way she can't regenerate this time."  He paused while the dark cloud flowed up and he absorbed it.  "Greatness.  No, leaving here in a few.  One's been shot.  No, you can talk to them tomorrow.

"Because the evil one nearly had them killed tonight, Buffy.  I got here barely in time.  One's seriously injured.  Thanks, dear."  He blew a kiss and hung up then called back.  "You tell her and I'll be damned if you won't have to remodel when I lose my fucking temper and start drinking, Willie.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Okay, you guys will be safe and unmolested for a bit."  He looked at Coulson.  "Anything I need to hear?"

"Minion," Pooch said, pointing.  He was confused but this young guy was acting like he was a higher up and handling things to protect them so he wasn't going to complain.  "His name is Wade.  He's an amoral piece of shit."

Xander turned and muttered before throwing something silverish.   The blond man went down.  Xander concentrated, finding the links from that one to another one and threw another silver thing, which seemed to phase through some boxes without damaging them.  "Miller, fetch," he ordered.

"You're not Harris."

"Bull fucking shit, dude," he said dryly.  "I've always been Xander.  You guys just never watched me well enough."  He gave him a pointed look.  "Coulson, I believe you'll find that Max guy can no longer move on his own and there's going to be a long life attached to a machine for him," he said dryly.  "Maybe for both."  He walked over, muttering something.  A glowy shape brought him a bomb and bowed before leaving.  "Thank you," he called with a wave then he used his axe to split it in two.

"Damn," Miller said, backing away from him.  "Harris, you don't know who these guys are."

Xander snatched his phone to call someone.  "Before you say a word, this is Alexander Lavelle Harris.  Look me up first," he ordered.  The grunt on that side did and gasped.  "Thank you.  As of this moment, I have been asked to step into the matter of an evil overlord wannabe called Max.  Yes, I know he has minions placed in about every agency.  Because I'm looking at some people he supposedly had killed that I've been asked to put under my protection, dear."

He blew a kiss at the bodies being carried out.  "Well, he's presently not able to walk, to move on his own, nothing but talk and I'm sure he'll talk to someone like Mr. Miller or his former cohorts."  He smiled.  "Exactly.  No, you can tell them to write nice suicide letters and then do it if you want.  It would save us some frustration in Sunnydale.  Here's Agent Coulson, I see a problem forming."  He handed over the phone and went to one knee, bowing his head.  "All Father," he whispered to the shadow.

"My favorite grandson," he said, patting him on the head.  "I'm very proud but you should take him back."

"That was his choice to be an ass, All Father."  He looked up.  "Not mine."

"I know but you can forgive him."

"Not yet.  He doesn't want it to be so."

"Point.  How is our daughter?"

"Frustrating the hell out of me," he said dryly.  "Want her back?"

"Not at the moment.  I'll talk to her though."  He stroked over his hair.  "Do what you must, Alexander.  I know I can count on you."  He faded out.

Xander bounced up.  "All right then.  Let's get this mess cleaned up.  Agent Coulson, I got news that this is a snuke?" he said, pointing at the bomb.

"Huh.  We've heard rumors.  I'd like Stark to look at that."

"Cool with me.  Just don't let it come to Sunnydale, please."  He smiled at Miller, who was giving him a horrified look.  "What?"

"What was that?"

"Odin All Father.  Why?"  He grinned.  "You thought the axe was normal?"  Miller shuddered and walked off nearly crying.  "Welcome," he said with a smile and a wave.  "Fucking idiot."  He looked at Coulson, who he respected.  The agent was quiet and read people and what they actually did very well.  "Well?"

"He's back."

Xander turned, staring at him.  "Yes, Odin?"

"Where is my idiot son?"

"Redeeming himself," Coulson said.

Odin snorted.  "He's vain and arrogant."

"He's young and stupid," Xander corrected.  "He grew up privileged because you put him before a lot of others.   Did you *really* expect him not to be a bit spoiled?  You made everyone but him work for it because of that damn prophecy and who his mother was."  He stared at him.  "Eventually he'll learn like the rest of us did, All Father."

"You sound like your father," he sneered.

"Only the best genes," he quipped then blew a kiss with a grin.  "That's why you tried to marry me off to someone who became my nemesis."

"That's his doing."

"That's what I said but you keep telling me to take his ass back," he shot back dryly.  "I'll talk with my uncle.  You go do... Odin things."  He waved a hand.  "Before someone stupid says something and I have to end an agent."

"Fine.  I can agree with that."  He disappeared again.

"Anyway," Xander said dryly.  He looked at Clay.  "Grandson."

"How?"

"Long ass story, and that's probably partially in the letter.  139 93rd street, Sunnydale.  They won't follow.  They hate Sunnydale and would love to bomb it shut."  He stared at him.  Clay nodded and got in to go there.  It was a good hiding spot.  The map system had been set for him.  He looked at Coulson, who shrugged.  He shrugged back, walking over.  "So, Max," he said with a smirk.  "How are you enjoying things?"

He tried to move and still couldn't so he went with bravado.  After all, no one could really stop him.  "You are not playing with my plans, young man.  I cannot allow that."

"Yeah, our mayor said the same stupid shit."  He pulled out the shiny silver thing, making him gasp.  The waiting paramedics did a tracheotomy immediately and attached an air bag.  "You have fun now, ya hear?" he quipped.  He looked at Coulson.  "I'm going to fade."

"Have fun and Miller will not remember," he said quietly.

"Love ya for it.  Tell Shiny Britches I said hi.  If you see my almost husband, beat his ass for me.  Stupid mother fucker."  He glared toward where he could feel him hiding.  "Roque, I would *so* hide forever and ever," he said bluntly, watching him come out of the shadows with a bloody face.  One of his eyes was clearly damaged.  "Do not go near them.  Do not go near their families.  Hide somewhere they can't find you.  Because I'm pretty sure they're going to kill your stupid ass for betraying them."

"I ....."

"Then fucking come to me," Xander shouted.  "I could've handled it oh so much better and quieter than all this fucking drama!"  He glared at him.  "Shoo.  Go.  Somewhere far away from everything they care about.  Don't go near even distant relatives, don't check up on them, nothing.  Am I clear?"

"Clay's a lot like you," Roque said quietly.

"I realized that.  Go.  Now."  He nodded, fading.  "Somewhere far away for the rest of this lifetime because I also take them as being kinda vindictive."  Roque nodded as he walked, holding his eye.   He took a deep breath, looking at Coulson.  "Tell your boss I said hi."

"I will.  This year's thing?"  Xander shrugged.  "When will you know?"

"No damn clue," he sighed.  "Though I need someone to protect someone.  A whole lot."  Coulson stared at him.  "We just had someone appear and our memories altered to the point where we'd protect her.  No one else has realized it yet."  They shared a look.  "You can take her and Buffy's mom both," he said quietly.  "Something's off about Joyce."

"I can talk to the boss about that, Xander.  Thank you."

"NP, Coulson.  I respect you for the uptight asshole you are, dude."  He shook his hand and put his special axe on his back.  Miller was still staring in horrified awe.  "Should I?"

"He won't remember," Coulson said with a smirk.

"Cool."  He looked at Miller again.  "My mother was one of the Hindu minor deities who got down and funky with a drunk Norse."  Miller shuddered.  "That explains why I'm so badass.  Well, that and the seven and a half thousand years of life."  He walked off, fading to Sunnydale.  The others that SHIELD worked with hated to see him coming.  But he decided to stop on the way, staring at the blond man.

"Uncle," he said quietly, making him jump.  "Your father's still a judgmental ass but he said hi kinda."  Thor stared at him.  He stared back.  "Don't come to Sunnydale.  There are things there that can kill you," he said quietly.  "Including me because of you being an asshole."  He smirked.  "But... Coulson will be back soon."  He faded back to the bar, staring at Willie.  Then around at the mess.  "Fit?"

"Yes," he sighed.

"Hey, it could be worse.  I could destroy people," he offered dryly.  "Because I just helped stop a nuclear device in the Port of LA."  The demons around them shuddered.  "Exactly."  He smiled.  "They're cool but like me.  The idiot after them is now in custody.  Spike?"

"Handling things and cleaning up his porn," Buffy said from behind him.

Xander looked at her.  "Hey.  Thanks."

"What is going on?"

"A very old friend asked me to protect this team.  They had supposedly been shot down with a lot of kids thanks to the evil overlord who had minions in the Army."

"Anything related to the Initiative?"

"I think the evil bitch was slightly involved in the beginning stages but otherwise not directly.  This team, they would've killed them all.  They're Delta Force and will diss Riley if they see him."

"Why are you helping?"

"Because the guy my grandfather wanted me to marry, who is a dickhead, asked me for help," he said dryly, giving her a look.  "Also, Miller's an agent now.  Ran into him in LA."

"Eww."

"And a few others who are *decent* agents.  Speaking of, what's wrong with your mother?"  She stiffened.  "She's looked like she had morning sickness recently."

"Her scent's off," one demon called.  "I work next door to the gallery and she smells sick, Summers."

Xander pulled out his phone to call.  "It's Xander.  Can I have that huge ass favor?  People think she's seriously sick, ones who can smell sickness on her."  He listened.  "Please?  Thank you.  Teenage daughter.  Fourteen."  He grinned.  "She's a bit squealy but precious to us.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, I can meet you tomorrow.  The crew's not working this week.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "One of the guys I ran into earlier, who I trust with major things, will find someone to check her over, Buffy."

She relaxed.  "Not here?"

"Hell no.  I wouldn't subject an enemy to Sunnydale General."  He walked off.  "Let me make sure they'd have everything they need.  They were going against the evil shit and got captured."

Buffy waited until he was gone.  "What possessed him this time?"

"He's always been like this," Willie told her.  "You just don't know him very well."

"I do so," she said, glaring at him.  "We're best friends."

"Then when's his birthday, slayer?" he shot back with a smirk.  "You guys don't ever celebrate anything but Hallmark holidays.  I doubt you know when his birthday is.  Most of us think he's some sort of masochist to keep helping you with the way you treat him."  She stomped off.  He sighed in relief.  She didn't damage anything else.  And neither did Harris.

***

Xander met the car, nodding.  "C'mon."  He helped that one down the stairs.  His legs were bandaged but he was still in pain.  "Spike?"  The door was opened.  "Guys, this is Spike.  He'll be on my couch for a few days."  He put that one down on the couch.  "Wow, you really cleaned, Spike.  Thanks."

Spike glared at him and spat something in one of the demon languages.

Xander smirked.  "If you had any idea, Spike, you'd think I was the most nummy thing ever, but you'll never find out."  Spike stomped off.  "Since I help pay his rent," he told Clay dryly.  "Read the letter?"

"I did," he said, scowling.  "Why you?"

"My grandfather wanted me to marry him once but he didn't want to help me with my duty and I'll be damned if I'm the wife.  He wouldn't even agree to switching off with our hereditary duties.   So no.  No marriage, no funsies, none of it.  We've been fighting for generations now."  He shrugged.  "Anyway," he said, spotting the blond.  "I know where some of you are.  There's a way to ask for help and asylum if you need it," he said bluntly.   "I'll help you there if you need me to."  The blond nodded once.  "Yeah, they won't be happy but it'll go and they can find out what happened."  He looked at the silent one, pointing.  "My medical kit for the team."   They dug into it, gasping at some of it.  "Our hospital is pathetic."

"So if we go in with a minor thing as a distraction, someone else could lift necessary supplies?" Clay asked.

"Better be very mild and don't let them trap you anywhere.  Guys like Spike feed out of the hospital and it's a haven for people who want parts for whatever reason."  They shared a look.  "But yeah, a broken hand...."  He shrugged.  "I have."  He heard a knock.  "Who?"

"Me," Buffy said.

"Open."  She walked in.  "Colonel, this is Buffy Summers.  She leads our quiet protection patrol team.  Do not let anyone in after dark, or right after daybreak.  Do not invite in delivery guys, it's just not safe around here.  Do not trust the local police or anyone else because their former boss was an evil shit who let them get away with not doing a damn thing.  We presently have a twenty-three percent death and missing persons rate for a reason."

Clay nodded.  "We can stay in and hide."

"During the day is easier and if anyone asks, just say you're visiting long lost relatives.  The town is full of people who act like pod people," Buffy assured him with a smile.  "Can I help?"

"They mostly need medical right now, miss," Clay told her.  She picked up something and bent it, holding it up.  He took it to look at.  "That's solid aluminum.  I can't do that."

She grinned.  "I'm special; that's why I'm in charge."

"With an older British guy looking over her shoulder," Xander added with a quip.  "Do you guys need help with the stitching stuff?"  They all shook their heads.  "Then let's leave you guys to defrag in peace until tomorrow about noon?" he asked the Colonel.  "I'll bring over maps, my laptop, all that?  By the way, your stuff is being packed by someone in LA to be sent here.  It's a favor to us and they really don't want to have Buffy be pouty.  Then we can arrange things like calls home and stuff?"

"That'll work," Clay decided.  "Noon."

"I'll even bring over burgers."  He grinned and left with Buffy.  He looked back at him.  "Relax.  You're safe in here.  Just don't let anyone in."  He walked her off.

"They're way uptight," Buffy said.

"Well, yeah.  They just had a Cobra Commander sort after their asses," Xander said dryly.  "Who had them set up for a tragedy they didn't do and supposedly died from.  They need some time to unwind and make plans while they heal."

"Fine.  I guess.  Who are you letting look at my mother and sister?"

Xander smiled.  Then he pointed.  "Remember the hotty old guy you crushed on?"

"Ooh, yeah," she said, smiling at him.  "Agent Fury."  She shook his hand.

"Miss Summers.  Mr. Harris."  He shook his hand as well.  "What's wrong with her mother?"

"A demon who works next door said she smells sick.  She's seemed to have a lot of dizziness, puking, headaches, and going pale at the sight of anything," Xander told him.  "I'm not really sure why and there's a problem I think with her sister."  Buffy glared at him.  "I just realized it earlier when something didn't mesh.  I don't remember Dawn ever meeting Willow's parents," he told Buffy.

"That is strange, yeah.  They would've butted in to meet her if she .... oh, no, she's the spring apocalypse?"

"Buffy, think," Xander ordered, stopping her.  "Why would your *sister* be the problem?  Someone you're meant to *protect*?"  She gaped then groaned.  "Yeah, I think she's put here to be protected and I'm not fully sure why but with all those new mental patients we've been getting in town....  I'm betting it's related."

"Crap," she muttered.  "So I'm protecting her from whatever's doing that because someone mystical said so?"

"Yeah, I think so," he admitted.  "Which means it's probably pretty heavy if they had to act this way."

She looked at the older guy.  "Can you please find out what's wrong with my mother and scan my sister, Agent Fury?"

"I can have someone do that, Summers.  As *soon* as you know what the problem of this spring is I want to know.   Harris has good instincts and if they're screaming at him to get you guys some help....."

"Yeah," she agreed.  "I'm feeling the same issue."

"Let us know," he ordered.

"Oh, I'll scream and rant," she promised, looking like she was pissed off.  "C'mon, I can take you home so you can talk to my mother about going to see a decent doctor.  I can't have my mom die or I'm ...  I just can't," she said more quietly.

"I understand.  Kid, need a ride?"

"I only live four blocks away," Xander said with a grin.  "They get that thing I cut in half?"

"Yes, and Stark is throwing a damn fit," he said dryly, smirking at the kid.

Xander grinned.  "They called it a snuke."

"Yeah, a sonic nuclear device," Fury said dryly.  "Made by some guys in India that we found dead."  Xander nodded once.  "We're debriefing the evil asshole by the way.  Thank you."

"NP.  I don't want them in my universe at all.  They might try here again."  Fury smirked, taking her to her house.  That was very interesting and someone had to look them over.

Xander looked behind him at the silent blond.  "We're kinda in a semi-closed pocket universe," he said dryly.  "We're part of reality but the old mayor had it partially locked out to keep the power here under his control.  Fury and his people are real good and don't bother us, but they know some day they may have to shut here down suddenly so they're working with us.  After we had to take down a government torturing program," he said dryly.

"Why?" he asked.

"Called the Initiative."

"Huh.  I can look that up."

"Your stuff will be here in a few hours."  He smiled.  "Rest.  I'm about four blocks that way," he said with a point.  "2338.  Apartment 4.  I have my armory if you guys suddenly need it and I can point out our local weapons dealers."

"They won't want to talk to me."

Xander stared at him.  "Some of the priestesses can read minds, Fireling.  That's not a problem and they're very creative in their help."  He smirked.  "Relax.  They know me there too," he said dryly.  "I even dated one."  He walked off.  "Sleep.  You'll want it."

"Yeah, thanks."  He went back inside, closing and locking the door.  "Agent Fury just took Buffy Summers home to fetch her mother and sister to get them checked medically."

"What is someone like Fury doing with these kids?" Clay demanded.

"If I had a computer and access," Jensen said dryly.

"Point.  When our stuff gets here, find me what you can before the kid shows up tomorrow."

"He said he'd show us the local weapons dealers too."  He let himself be sat down so they could look at his shoulder.  "Do we think Roque is dead?" he asked Clay quietly.  It was just them.

"No.  I don't think so.  I have a bad feeling."

Jensen nodded.  "He's right, I can ask someone for help but they're not going to be happy and might try to kill me."

"That's a later point, kid.  Rest."  He let him go.  "There's only two beds."

"I'll go curl up around Cougar.  You take the couch, Clay."  He got up and went in there, curling up around the silent man staring at the ceiling.  "Hey."

"This town is unholy."

"If so, we'll figure it out.  Maybe even help stop it."  He laid down and curled up. "Night, Cougar."

"Night."  He stared at the ceiling until he had to sleep.  Something was definitely wrong here.  The whole area felt wrong.

***

Xander kicked the door.  "It's me, guys."  Clay let him in.  "Thank you.  Food, as promised."  He handed over the bags and put down the duffle bag and books.  "All right, this is the town's purpose.  It's under the ruins of the high school, which is being rebuilt by rumors."  He sat down and opened the book to show them.  "Technically, Sunnydale is partially shut off from everything else.  That's why the town has such a high denial rate and doesn't seem to progress too smoothly with new ideas or technology.  Did you guys get your stuff all right?"  They all nodded, Jensen grinning.  "Found the Initiative?"

"They're gone, right?" Clay demanded quietly.

"Hell yes.  That was this spring's problem," he said dryly.  "This upcoming one seems to be bigger and badder."  He handed Jensen the book.  "That's on the inter-dimensional rift of energy we slightly have an issue with.  Which is why the town's death rate is so high."  He looked at Clay again.  The silent one in the hat coughed.  Xander grinned.  "I'm not forgetting you.  There are residents with contacts in other areas who can get word back without letting anyone know."

He looked around.  "I can take you guys to Willie's later to let you talk to them if that's the way you want to go.  In the bag are some lighter weapons.  Buffy hates guns so I don't have the collection I think I should."  He got comfortable.  "Burgers are from the Double Meat Palace but they're not that bad."  They settled in to eat, take their turn with the book, all that.  Cougar checked all the weapons, putting one aside.

Xander shrugged.  "That one I got handed earlier by a poker debt.  I haven't had time to check it yet.  Burrs?"  Cougar nodded, staring at him.  "We play kitten poker around here."  They all shuddered.  "They're great information sources, guys.  We're a bit strange but no one here is going to say a single thing to any of you about anything."

"So this...rip," Clay said.

"Presently mostly shut but it's got a poor seal."  They all nodded.  "Which draws all the asshole things here to eat people."  He grinned.  "Which is where my team comes in.  We handle the eating things and leave the others who just want to hide here alone."  They all nodded.  "Which is why you never want to go out at night without a stake."  Cougar stiffened, staring at him.  "Yeah, the major problems are vampires," he said dryly.  "The ones here can almost always be staked or beheaded.  They will attack groups of two or three people.  So do be careful."  He looked at them all.  Then he grinned at Jensen.  "I got a nice email from Coulson this morning for you.  It's in the bag."  He looked and found it on the interior pocket.  "Also, maps," he said, pulling out his phone.

"We have Google Maps," Clay said.

Xander shook his head.  "They're so warped.  It's off by about ten degrees.  We mystically mapped and marked."  He let them put it onto the laptop so it was easier to see.  "All right, we're here," he said with a point.  "This is the college.  This is the safe areas near the college, including the bars.  If you move east...."  He manipulated the map.

"You run into one of our lovely cemeteries out of thirteen.  They're putting up a new one."  He pointed.  "This is an underground bar for those who're mafia types or hired by underground sources.  I'm not welcome there and I'm not sure if they'd consider you guys pussies or not since a lot of them like to physically eat people."  They all shuddered.

"Moving on, we have the docks.  We have the safe spots marked with a red circle around them.  That means it's got protections of some sort.  Notice this club, which is all ages, has an open band night, all that, is not one.  It's mostly safe but there are feeders in there.  Vamps love to feed in there.  We hunt through there every few weeks."  He looked around.

"There's this bar, which is Willie's; that's a demon bar.  He's not going to cause you problems and some that go there are peaceful.  Buffy likes to threaten him for information.  I go there to play poker.  So does Spike."  He moved on.  "This is the Magic Box.  If we're not working or in class, we're here before patrols nightly.  Giles, the British guy I mentioned last night, runs it.  He knows not a *thing* about what you guys saw last night."

"Why not?" Clay asked.

"Because Buffy has decided I'm normal."  They all groaned.  "A lot.  Or I should say often."  He grinned.  "It happens.  They're having special girl moments at times.  We're still a team even if they do think I'm too normal for some things."

"Do they even realize?" Pooch asked quietly.  Xander shook his head.  "Are you going to tell them?"

"No.  They'll think I'm possessed again.  She even asked last night," he said dryly.   He shrugged.  "Moving more east we have grocery stores, we have the city buildings.  We have the former school."  They all stared.  "Do not trust anyone from any city government office.  The old mayor was the reason the school had to be blown up.  He was going to eat everyone and kill the planet."

He grinned.  "We didn't have an instant volcano at the time."  Pooch shuddered.  "Yeah, half the town's that way, dude.  Relax.  You're safe as long as you don't go out at night and don't invite strangers in."  He looked at Clay.  "College has a library and 'net access.  College also by now has a lot of open rooms that you could probably con your way into.  Or just sneak in and pretend you're a student that they didn't remember.

"Say you had to switch dorms due to harassment or your roomie dying.  It happens a lot.  The local town library only has two really old computers and no wi-fi.  The nice demons running it will skin you alive, literally, if you break the rules.  But otherwise they're pretty decent old biddies.  Telepathic ones but decent if you don't piss them off."

He shifted, crossing his feet.  "Now, there is another college in town that's mostly shut down.  They're... harder than hell to get into but they do have a lot of vacant buildings that you could probably hide in as long as you didn't let anyone see you.  Campus security is real rude and has tried to shoot some vamps taking over a building.

"If you can get into one and block out all the windows, it'd be safe enough.  Most of them have power and 'net access because it was all rich, stupid kids."  He looked at Jensen.  "Not that you guys can't stay here for a bit but Spike's going to get annoying to Anya and she'll make him pout soon.  It's all drama around here right now."

"So we have a backup spot if we need one," Clay decided.  Xander grinned at him.  "Weapons?"

"Six good places like pawn shops, two who hang at Willie's, and one that hangs at that underground bar that I can introduce you to," he offered, pointing those out.  "This one is actually a legit place because a few years back ATF was looking over his shoulder and still probably is."  He pointed at one shop.  "This one you can also get sharp and pointy stuff from K-Bars to swords."  He shrugged.  "If it's necessary.  Plus accessories."  Someone knocked.  Xander stared at the door.  "Who is it?" he called.

"Willow."

Xander rolled his eyes, getting a telling look.  "One of the team."  He got up to open the door.  "Big problems or little?"

"Who're they?"

"I got asked by someone to protect them.  They're good guys."

"Not by the news," she snorted.

"Yeah, the evil bitch of the universe that was pulling a Destro move I kinda got in the neck last night," he said, making her give him a horrified look.  He stared back.  "Because he was going to blow up parts of LA and the same person warned me of that.  He actually had a nuclear thing."  She shuddered.  "Also, Agent Fury and I talked since Joyce has been so sick recently.  He's taking her to get her checked out and took Dawnie with them I believe."

"I heard that from Buffy.  What gives?  When do you suddenly know that stuff?"

"Since it looked like morning sickness for the last week?" he asked dryly.  "I see Joyce every day for lunch, Willow.  You start to notice these things."

"Oh," she said flatly.  "I haven't seen her in over a week."

"That's why I asked for him to evacuate her.  If it's a new Summers daughter, it'll be safer if they're out of town.  If it's not, he knows some of the best docs in the world."

"Good point I guess.  Buffy said she thought Dawn was mystically placed?"

"Yeah.  Your mother never met her."

She frowned.  "Well, poop.  No, she didn't."  She huffed.  "That's really weird."

"And I'm betting, since they made us all *hyper* protective over her, that there's a reason.  Which is seeming horribly huge...."

"Which we might get backup from Agent Fury for," she realized.  He nodded.  "Okay.  Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you that?" he countered.  "If we find out anything, Buffy or I could tell the group during a meeting, like usual."  She glared.  He scowled back.  "We would.  We don't wake people up with random news.  We never have."  She stomped off.  He waved.  "Leave them alone, Willow.  They got used by people who started Riley's group and nearly got killed for fighting back."

He shut the door.  "Sorry," he said more quietly, sitting down again.  "There's a *lot* of drama right now."  They all nodded.  "And if you guys should suddenly start to feel odd, do odd things, or find yourself furry... that's the reason."  They all nodded once.  "Trust me on this."  He looked in the bag, taking out one last thing.  He held it up.  "The only one I have to spare right now."

Clay took the small grenade.  "Gas?"

"Mustard."

"Decent.  Thanks, Kid."

"No problemo, Clay."  He stood up.  "I'll be at the Magic Box talking to Giles about her for most of the day until patrol tonight.  Call.  If you get Anya, she'll ask if you want to buy something today.  She has *no* idea," he said quietly.  "And she never will."  They all nodded.  "Thanks, guys.  Need anything right now?"

"Grocery store?" Clay asked.

"Oh!  That was the other thing.  Coulson's little helper fairies sent you something."  He pulled the envelope out to hand to him with a smirk.  "Something about breached CIA funds and they're fucking morons."  He left them alone.

Clay looked in the envelope.  "Six grand."  They all smiled.  "Cougar, go get some supplies."  He nodded, taking Jensen with him.  He looked at Pooch.  "You need to get home."

"Yeah, I do.  Soon."

"I'll see if I can arrange for that."

Pooch stopped him from moving.  "Roque?" he asked quietly.

"Betrayed us."

"Do we think he's alive?"

"Yeah, I do.  I'm pretty sure he's not going to come near us though."

"We need to move the families."

"I know."

"Soon."

"I'm working on a plan."

"Please.  I won't lose Jolene.  I'll have someone take him out even if I have to find a plane with an active missile, Clay."

"I know, Pooch.  We'll figure it out.  Jensen has his sister and niece too."  The other man relaxed again, rubbing this shot thighs.  "Want something?"

"Please.  He has a good kit."

"We'll run a run on the ER later for you."  He got him something and went to look around the building.  There was a washer up the hallway.  The dryer was broken.  There was a huge sewer entrance that didn't smell like a sewer by any means.  The outside of the building was a bit old and crappy but not ready to fall in.  He nodded politely at the officer watching the building.  "In visiting some distant relatives and taking up someone's spare room, Officer."

"We saw you with Harris.  You know he's a trouble maker, right?"

"Yup, but he's a distant cousin."

"Pity.  You guys drunks too?"

Clay smirked.  "Colonel, retired, in the Army."  The officer shuddered.  "I'm trying to recruit the kid."  The officer drove off laughing.  "No wonder he said you're all stupid and evil."  He got a smoke while he was out there.  It was a pretty day, like usual in Southern California.

***

Xander walked into the Magic Box.  "Willow wanted to know why I didn't wake her up and tell her things last night," he told Giles and Anya.

She snorted.  "That's because she's a spoiled girl," she said bluntly.  "With addiction problems."  She walked off.  "Are you going to buy something today, Xander?"

"No, Anya, I don't think I am," he said dryly, looking at Giles.

"These friends of yours?"

"Got hurt protesting that they were being used by one of the people who started the Initiative.  He had them set up and declared dead too."

"Ah, that's what that story was about.  She told me about them."

"Yeah, not hardly the truth.  Agent Fury knows and has the guy in custody."

"Even better."  He smiled at the lad.  "No work today?"

"I'm off all week," he said happily.

"That means I don't get a present," Anya pouted.

Xander stared at her.  "That means if you broke into the checking account again, I'd be replacing it or paying the rent yourself," he countered.  She huffed but went to take something back to the mall.  "Why?" he asked when they were alone.

"I've often wondered," Giles admitted.  Then he smiled.  "She does seem to be happy."

"Yay," he muttered.  He sat down.  "So, what needs to be done around here that I haven't had time to do?"

"The weapons could use sharpened and maintained," Giles offered.  "A new route planned for patrol tonight."

"Already working on that."  He went to check their armory for things that needed fixed, sharpened, or restrung.  They were really hard on their weapons sometimes.  Buffy came stomping in and he leaned out.  "Bad news or did Willow nag you too for not waking her up to tell her?"

"No, I already got that one.  Yeah, she was."

Xander nodded.  "And...."

"They found a reference by hacking the Council's library for info so we can use that as a start," she told Giles, handing him the notes she had taken.  He looked then groaned and went to look it up.  "It's really not good.  They were talking Hell Goddess, Xander."

"Well then my instincts were On-Star correct," he said dryly, making her smile.  "Your mom?"

She sat down with a sound like she was deflating.  "Brain tumor."  They both stared at her.  "She's in LA being treated and I called Cordy to ask her to keep an eye on them while we were up here dealing with whatever."

"That's good.  Dawn?"

"With Mom.   Mom suddenly has an overprotective nanny to help her though."  Xander grinned.  "Which is good because I don't have to worry about more than Mom."

"We'll do whatever we can to make your mom healthy," Xander promised, giving her a quick hug.  "None of us want to lose Joyce."

"I know.  Thanks, Xander."

"Not a problem."  He gave Giles a subtle nudge.  He knew the older man fancied Joyce a lot, and always had.  "You can go visit and tell us where she is?"  He nodded, taking Buffy there.  It was a long drive but they needed to be with her.  Xander called Anya and Willow on the office phone.  "It's Xander.  Joyce is in the hospital in LA.  Fury's docs found a brain tumor."

"Oh my God," Willow moaned.

"Buffy and Giles are headed that way.  I've got the store until Anya gets back.  He'll give us an update later and tell us where she is.  She does have Dawn with her.  Yes, Willow, our instincts were correct and we're researching tonight before patrol.  Or during it if Tara wanted to take over."  He hung up and went out front when he heard the chime of the door's bell.  "Hey, Jensen."

"Xander.  Is that your name?"

"Yeah, always has been."  He grinned.  "Big problems?"

"Scouting."

"That's cool.  We're a nice little occult shop.  We'll be researching most of today and patrolling tonight."

"That's cool."  He looked around then at him.  "Can you... call?"

"Yeah, definitely."  He called her.  "Samra, Xander.  Got a slight thing that I need to talk to a priestess about.  No, a gifted one actually.  A young one who got tagged by something evil.  Please do.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She'll call one of the senior priestesses and have her call me back."  Jensen relaxed and grinned.  "We'll help however we can, Jensen.  We didn't like some of his plans before.  I certainly don't like them now."  Jensen grinned.  "We have wi-fi in here but Willow's on her way in."

"Thanks."  He left, going back there to talk to Clay and the others about the future plans they had to make.

Xander found the first book they'd want and put it on the table, moving to pull more of the others.  Willow stomped in.  "Notes are on the counter."  She looked and moaned.  "They hacked the Council's library to find that.  I've pulled down the _Gods and Goddesses Obscure and Relevant_ and a few others to start."  She nodded, sitting down to look for that Goddess.  Xander stocked, working on the weapons, and made mental plans.  He called home to talk to Spike too.  Spike adored Joyce because she treated him nicely.  Plus they'd need him on patrol tonight.

"You can't go without Buffy," Willow snorted.  "Get over it, Xander."

He stared at her.  "You mean like the fact that I go most nights without Buffy and you, Willow?"  She glared.  "Get over it.  I'm not normal that way.  You do learn things after a few years."  She huffed.  "Beyond that, not like you're any good without using magic and if you do that you're slipping again," he shot back.  She glared.  He stared her down.   "Would Tara like that?"  She got up and stomped out.  He waved at her back.  Anya walked in looking confused.  "She tried her usual shit and I reminded her she's not much good on patrol without magic."

"She's not," Anya agreed.  "Though I hate that you and Spike go alone."

"Yay.  Buffy's on her way to LA with Giles."  He called her.  "Before the redheaded menace to humanity can nark, I told her off for thinking Spike and I can't patrol tonight because I'm a guy.  Again.  Then I pointed out she didn't do much without magic and that was probably a bad idea Tara wouldn't like.  So she's huffy and probably swearing in your voicemail, Buffster."  He smirked.

"No, she started it when I called Spike about patrol tonight."  He grinned.  "I know we can.  You stay there with Joyce and we'll handle it.  She's more important and if we have to, I'll get someone to help us like Riley.  Since he's still in town.  Yup, not a problem.  No, huffed off when I reminded her she only does things magically and Tara wouldn't like that.  Yup.  Total Willow snit fit, Buffy.  So yeah, expect the huffy, bitchy voicemail.  Gotta go, that was call waiting."

He hung up and flipped over.  "Xander Harris."  He listened, walking off.  "Yes, ma'am.  No, that was the one but that's not what happened.  I'm quite sure of it.  I got asked to intervene."  He walked out to the alley and up the road a bit.  "Exactly.  No, he's not.  He was in no way involved.  That's what he wanted, yes.  Someone to scan him and make a decision.  Because he has a family," he said more quietly.

"Please.  Here in Sunnydale.  I can arrange that, yup.  Thank you.  With him, yes.  That way he doesn't get lost or anything.  Of course.  Thank you, ma'am.  Tonight's bad, we have patrol.  Tomorrow during the day would be good if it is for you."  He grinned.  "Excellent.  Yeah, I can drive him up.  Thank you."  He hung up and texted the phone that had been in the bag.  Then he went back inside to start on the research.

Tara and Willow walked in.  "We have patrol set up between me and Spike tonight, Tara."  The blonde girl smiled at him and patted him on the arm.  "We're having this issue and it's a major one after Dawn."  She took the notes to look over, nodding as she sat down to help him research.  "You two do this and I'll finish with the weapons."  He went back to it.

"I can so patrol," Willow said firmly.

Xander looked at her then at Tara.  "Floating sticks to stake?"

"Magic is not to be used to kill," she said quietly.  "Only for self defense, Willow.  That's a major no-no of the rules."  Willow slumped.  "Let the boys patrol tonight.  Save your skills for bigger things, like this being."

"I'll be upstate for a few hours tomorrow," Xander told them.  "I'm taking one of the guys I got asked to help up to a contact who can help him protect his family."  They all nodded.

"Is that where the car is?" Anya asked.

"Yup.  For right now.  We had to evacuate them from LA last night when the bad guy of the moment almost set off something nuclear in the port."  Tara whimpered, staring at him.  "They're victims of the bad guy's plot.  I got asked to protect them while they heal."

"That's good of you," Tara said, smiling at him.  "Do they need more help?"

"I gave them my med kit, showed them the right map since they had Google maps, and they're resting."  She nodded, getting back to work.

"Which is why Spike is on our couch," Anya quipped.

"Yup," Xander agreed.

"Fine, even though it will reduce my orgasms."

"You're having your cycle anyway," Xander quipped.

"Good point.  That means I get to have fun in the tub, and if he pervs and listens it might inspire him to go find a new girlfriend of his own."  She got back to stocking.  "Xander, you put the wrong candles out."

"That's what the box said," he defended.

"Fine."  She checked and laid out the others too.  Sometimes her boyfriend was such an idiot.  She really had to train him better.

***

Xander walked Jensen up to the small temple.  "Ladies," he said, moving away.

The priestesses sneered at Jensen.  "What are *you* doing here?  We saw what happened."

"That's not what happened," he said, staring at them.  "I wish to have those memories scanned and entered into evidence against me.  That way the truth is known and the Princess can make a decision."

The head priestess walked out.  "You're sure what we'll see won't go against you?"

He nodded.  "We had nothing to do with those children's death.  It was aimed at us."  She moved forward.

"Mother, he is a worthless waste of energy," one complained trying to stop her.  Xander growled low and loud.  She glared at him.  "You are unworthy, mortal."

"Not a mortal," he said with an evil smirk.  "I'm Alexander."  She gasped, backing away until she could run inside.  "Whiny bitch."  He looked at the head priestess.  "She started it."

"I know.  She's young and stupid, Alexander."

"Xander, please."  He smiled.

She stared at him.  "The same one on Buffy's team?" an older woman asked as she walked out.

"Yup."  He grinned.  "I got asked by Roque to help them."

"It figures he would be mixed up in this."

"He was our teammate until he turned on us," Jensen said quietly.  "Please, Princess, I want the truth to be known."

She nodded at the priestess.  "Do read him so I can make an informed decision."

The priestess laid a hand on his head and gasped, staring at him.  Jensen slumped, nodding while looking at the ground.  "It was not them."  She showed her.

The princess of the dragon realms stared at the young dragon before her.  "Truly, someone is really stupid," she said, making Jensen look at her.  "Where might he be, Xander?"

"Nick Fury has him, ma'am."

"Good!"  She stared at him then at Jensen, hugging him.  "You poor boy.  We'll protect you, your sister, and your niece.  Get me a squire," she called, leading him inside.  Xander went back to the car.  "He is always very polite with us."  She led him to her office to write out a formal edict.  She let the squire in and handed it over.  "Go protect his sister and niece."

"One of my teammates has a wife who is about to deliver," Jensen said quietly.  "We're going to get him to her soon.  We're breaking our path in Sunnydale."

"It's a good place if you mean to hide," she assured him with a smile.  "Plus, Xander is every bit the white knight people say he is."  She patted him on the hand.  "Squire, go."  He nodded and left to pass on that message on his way out there.  She got Jensen settled to talk to him about future plans.  He had to have some by now.  Not as many as she had hoped but she understood waiting until this matter was settled since he had been under an automatic death sentence for his supposed actions against children.

***

Jensen walked into the apartment and shut the door quietly.  "I'm good."

"What is that about?" Clay asked.

Jensen sighed, sitting down.  "My parents are a lot more like some of those hiding here in town."

"We knew you weren't normal," Pooch said dryly.

"No, my parents are refugees from another realm.  Well, their parents were the refugees.  My parents were both born here.  So were me and my sister."  They all nodded at that.  "But I'm not demonic.  I had to get the death threat removed from my family for what everyone thought had happened.  They're sending someone to talk to my sister and protect her.  They're also getting word to someone nearer to Jolene to watch over her until you can get there, Pooch."

Pooch grinned.  "That makes Pooch a happy man," he assured him.  "Anything else come of it that the Pooch and the others should know?"

"We're invited to the temple if we need to hide.  It's holy ground," he told Clay.  "They really like Xander.  Think he's a neat little white knight."  He grinned.  "So that's one complication gone."

"What sort of creature are you?" Clay asked.

"Dragon."  He got up and went to get a drink.

"Excuse me?" Pooch called.  "Did he just say dragon?"  Cougar nodded, staring at Jensen's back.

"Yeah.  I have two forms.  Tiny and huge.  We all have problems shifting down here due to the energy issues this realm has but yeah.  It doesn't do much for me though."  He shrugged.  "If I was female I'd go into heat every once in a while but not as a guy."  He sipped his milk.   "Basically, now and then I can partially shift to scaled form.  Nothing huge, guys."  He sat down again.  "I had one of the priestesses read my memories and they made sure that our Princess in Exile heard.  So they'll remove the 'kill on sight' orders that automatically happened."

"There was no one who could do that before?" Clay demanded calmly.

"No.  There's very few priestesses who can do that.  There's only six in Central America and we weren't anywhere near them.  I tried to write one but she refused to hear me.  Xander knew one who could talk to one who could read me and she agreed to."  He finished his milk and put the glass down.  "So I'm good there."  They all nodded again.  "Plus someone's going to visit my sister and niece to protect them."

"That's not a bad thing," Clay said.

"I want proof," Pooch said.  Jensen took off his shirt and manifested some of his scales.  "The tattoos show up as darker scales?"  Jensen grinned and nodded.  "Can you fly or anything?"

"Only if I could get into my full sized form and I can't do that here.  The energy balance is off."  He went back to normal and put his shirt on again so he could sit down.

"Why did you all leave?" Cougar asked quietly.

"Political coup from hell," Jensen said dryly.  "Eighty or ninety percent of everyone who could leave did and a lot who were nesting or something and couldn't leave left later.  My grandmother was one of those.  Some went to other realms, a lot came here because it was compatible and quiet during those times.  That was back during the middle ages though."

"How old are you?" Pooch asked.

"Twenty-six."  He grinned.  "Not old enough to be mating yet.  Just barely old enough to be out on my own."

"Nest?" Cougar asked.

"Yeah.  Females lay eggs in our natural form.  I don't know if anyone's ever been caught while human and gotten pregnant that way.  No one's ever mentioned any gossip about it to me.  But we fly a huge, fancy dance to win our girl of the moment then we nest with her.  We take care of her while she's nesting and then take some responsibility for the egg, but we're not a monogamous species most of the time.

"Most of us do stick around to help raise the eggs to be good little draglettes but there's nothing like a marriage ceremony or anything.  There's very few tight pair bondings who've stayed together over multiple nestings and females can actually have one being raised while another is in nesting stage, thereby having two pouty guys being a pain in her tail at times.  Or so my sister said."

"So, the father of your niece?"

"Shithead," he muttered.  "He was in it for the fun and then fled.  He learned the wrong thing from humans.  If any of the priestesses catch him they can make him pay support but he's laying very low.  No new nestings because they'd have to check the egg and when it hatched, plus register his involvement."

"So they make sure siblings don't...fly each other?" Clay asked.

"No.  That's a scent thing.  Even if my sister was in heat, her scent would drive me off.  Anyone closer than second cousins would."  They all nodded at that.  "Them registering births it to make sure where everyone is, like a census, and to make sure there's not a preponderance of a few males dominating everything.  Because nothing says that guys have to stick with just one female in heat.  There's been some guys that've done two, three females in heat in a month.  Which, of course, they frown on," he finished with a babble.

"So, religious priestesses?" Pooch asked.

"No.  More like historical ones.  They're the scholars, the bookkeepers, the historians, those things.  Priestess is a title of honor when you're made into one of them.  It takes years of training.  Some guys go too but they're still priestesses."

"You thought about that?" Clay asked.

"Hell no.  There's bunches of rules you have to follow and you have to be quiet and study all the time.  No computers.  It was not for me."

"Yeah, because you never shut up," Pooch joked.

"That's right," Jensen agreed with a grin.

Clay shook his head.  "Anyone else have something they want to share?" he asked dryly, staring at Cougar.

"No," he said.

"Thank you for not blowing our minds."  He looked at Jensen.  "We'll get used to you."

"Gee, thanks," he said with an evil smirk.  "I could use someone to oil my scales."  Clay shuddered.  "I'm very soft when it's done."

"No, I'm not touching you that way, Jensen.  Save the dirty thoughts for another day."  He looked at Pooch then at Jensen.  "We have the option of fixing this and then perhaps going back to the military?"

"No clue," Jensen admitted.

"Me either," Pooch said.  "I'm not sure what Jolene would want."  He looked at Cougar, who shrugged.  They all stared at Clay.

"I'll hear the group decision before I make mine."

They all nodded and went back to healing, making plans, and wondering what the hell a patrol around here entailed.  They had no idea.

***

Cougar followed the two men on 'patrol' that night, grimacing because neither had a gun.   It made no sense to him not to have a gun.  What good would a piece of wood do?  He watched them wait on something to dig itself up, which made him mutter a prayer to God for it being so *wrong* to have happen.  Then the blond man staked it and they moved on.  Cougar was left staring at the pile of dust.  That was not right.  It wasn't normal, even for vampires.  They were supposed to just be really dead until you beheaded them.

Jensen walked up to him and nudged him.  "There's types you have to behead and types that go to dust," he said quietly.  "There's some that take silver, some that take gold, and some that take types of blood.  This species you can apparently stake."

"It went to dust."

Jensen nodded.  "It did, yeah.  They do that."

"That's not right."

"No, but they're vampires."  He grinned.  "Welcome to the stranger things, Cougar."  He walked off.  "C'mon, we can help."  Cougar shuddered but followed.  Spike spotted him and stared.  "Yeah, I know how to stake.  I'm not the best."

"Neither's the whelp."  He smirked at the boy.

"Don't make me hit you," Xander said dryly, staking the vampire trying to nuzzle him.  "I'm not that sort of tasty, Bob."  Spike snickered.  They included the two commandos, letting them learn how to do this.  It was nice to have help that didn't nag, bitch, or complain about her period the whole patrol.

At the end of patrol, Xander pulled Cougar aside.  "There's thirty-nine churches presently in Sunnydale, ten Catholic ones."  He pointed.  "That's the most protected of all of them."  He looked at Cougar.  "They hold protections all night and day so it's always safe and the priest there is a former combat veteran.  That's why he got sent here."  He patted him on the arm.  "Let's get you home."

Cougar walked off, going to the church.

Jensen grinned at his back.  "It's a good thing to know."

"Very."  They dropped him off at the apartment and went home to rest and get ready for a new day of hell and mayhem.

***

Cougar finally came back the next morning, looking happier.  He looked at Clay.  "Vampires go to dust."

"That's fucking freaky," he said dryly.  Cougar nodded.  "Means I don't have to deal with it then.  Pooch is going to be good enough to go home in a few days."

"Good."

Clay snickered.  "So far I haven't heard much of anything about the higher ups."

"Coulson sent me an email but he said the higher ups are cleaning the dirty laundry line from hell," Jensen said without looking up.  "Sixteen people within the Army, Navy, and Marines have admitted to being on Max's friend list.  Fourteen of which have killed themselves in some supposedly accidental ways so their families could have their life insurance policies."  He kept typing.  "He also said that the higher ups in the Army are horrified that they were being used that way.

"Max does lead back to a cracker trail into the CIA.  They're trying to clean some of them out.  The Nazi Sacksucker Association is dirty too and they're looking at the NSA ghouls to see if they can end those.  Coulson let out a small joke that Xander probably knows how to kill ghouls."  He looked up and grinned.  "He said it's probably going to be at least a few weeks, if not a month, if things stop being so huffy."

"So downtime," Clay decided.  "We'll get Pooch home, hang there for a while, then go see your sister and niece."

"Good deal."

"He said Aisha had been alive for generations."

"Yeah, about twenty-eight hundred years."  He shrugged.  "She wasn't one of us.  All I've heard are rumors and those I had to look up.  Though I did find out a lot about Roque that I wasn't paying attention to before because I never asked a mystical network about him," he quipped.  He let Clay see that information, getting a grimace.  "Oh, and Anya's past job?  You might've run into her before, Clay.  That's the other screen."

He switched to look at that, shuddering.  "No, mine tried to do it their own selves, they didn't have to call on an outside source to kill their men for them."  Pooch laughed.  Cougar grinned.  He went back to Roque's.  Why turn on them but have someone guard them?  That made absolutely no sense.  Not like Roque usually felt remorse or anything.

***

Xander looked up from his research when Anya came over looking confused.  "Problems?"

"How do you know a dragon?" she asked.

"I dated a priestess while I was on my roadtrip.  Did they call?"

"Yes."  She handed over the message.  "They don't date humans."

"Some do and I don't really read as a human with the mermaid taint, Ahn."

"Oh.  I didn't think about that."  She went back to the office to play with the numbers in the books.

Xander read it and called her back.  "What's up?"  He listened, leaning back in his chair.  "No, we're staying here.  Yeah, that's why.  No, we're apparently having a huge issue soon," he said dryly.  "Like a Key issue."  She shuddered, he could hear it.  "Can you fax me anything you know?  We've just started the research.  Thanks.  Yeah, I'll tell him.  Laters."  He hung up and called that cellphone.  "Jensen, call your sister.  They just got there and she freaked out heavily and locked them in a bedroom to cry on your niece.  Also, the squire said that your buddy's wife was starting off in real labor so if he wants to be there for the big event, he needs to book today."  He hung up before Jensen could say anything.

A few minutes later, Clay walked in and handed over the bag and medical tackle box.  "Thanks, kid.  Your car's outside.  We got something bigger for the trip."

"Welcome."  Xander grinned.  "Be safe and come back here if you want to hide some more," he offered.  Clay smirked as he walked off.  Xander checked his kit, making a list of things he needed to replace.  He didn't mind them using most of his painkillers.  Two gunshot wounds would make him need some too.   His last one certainly had.

Anya leaned out.  "Was that one of them?"

"Yup."

"He smelled like a dragon."

"He has a very young one on his team, which is why I talked to my ex the other day."  The fax machine started up and he went to get the order off it.  Anya took it to fill and he went back to the research.  "Willow and them don't know about that side of the paranormal before you ask them anything."

"I didn't figure anyone but Giles might," she sighed.

Xander shook his head.  "No, I mentioned meeting a priestess and he got very confused."

"You'd think Watchers would know."

"The ones who knew probably kept it under wraps to protect them since they're fleeing an idiot."

"True, maybe."  She finished boxing up the order and did the invoice for it, stapling it to the box.  The fax machine started up again.  "I'm glad I convinced Giles to put that in."  She saw what was coming.  "Research notes."

He got up to get them, taking them back to the books to counter reference.  "Shit, she is the reason we've had all those mentally tampered with people."  He texted that to everyone and settled in to look over a more obscure reference they suggested he might look in.  Tara walked in a few minutes later with some groceries, going to put them in the fridge so she could help him.  "Cookie shopping?" he asked with a hopeful grin.

"No.  Real food shopping, Xander."  She grinned back, looking over those notes.  "That's very bad."

"Yup, that's super sucky stuff."  He looked up other things.  "Her host," he muttered, running into another reference to that.  "We have to get her host."

"Like an exorcism?" Tara asked.  He let her see, watching her shudder.  "Oh, dear."

"Yeah, a lot of oh damn."  He took it back to go over that section again.  "Can take some heavy firepower.....  Fuck."  Tara swatted him.  "I knew there was a reason I asked Fury to look."  He texted Coulson for a fax number, getting one.  He wrote out the notes they had and included the ones from the priestesses.  Ten minutes later he got a fax back saying they'd protect Buffy's family harder.  Even if he had to bring them there himself.  He also told his boss.  Xander relaxed slightly.  Fury knew a whole bunch of strange freaks who liked to fight really huge problems.  Buffy was the featherweight in his stable of strange cohorts.  "Maybe we can borrow Ironman," he muttered.  Tara cackled, shaking her head.  "Hey, it's an option."

"Maybe," she agreed.  "Still funny."

Then the door blew in.

NC-17, very NC-17 for rougher than usual Clay/Roque and earlier Xander/Roque.

2: The Old Ones Keep Going

Things get worse in Sunnydale, even with others stepping in to help.   Plus a few battles have to be fought outside of Sunnydale, which means Xander's not really a content boy.  Oh, and that little Losers tiff is finally worked out in someone's head.  Heavily NC-17 for two different Roque/someone scenes.

Anya woke up in the ER with Buffy standing over her.  "What happened?"

"Someone invaded the shop," she said.  "Do you remember anything, Anya?"

"Little people?"  She moaned and held her head.  "I remember Xander getting a scary look on his face and his axe showing up somehow from the closet and then he went off like a troll."  She closed her eyes.  "Concussion?"

"Yeah, you got the research table thrown on you."  Xander walked in with his shiny new stitches and staples.  "Any idea?"

"Her little fucking minions," he said bluntly.  "Though it's nice our medical kit survived being kicked."  He looked at Anya.  Then at Buffy.  "She swears up and down that since you're the slayer you have her Key," he mouthed.  Buffy growled.  He nodded.  "And she was wearing really ugly Gucci."

"Do we know where she is yet?"

"Not yet.  I'll put word out we want her addy for you though."

"So not just me."

"No," Xander said.  "We found some stuff, Buffy.  She's...   We'll be right back, Anya."  He walked her off to where Tara was babying Willow, gathering her as well to talk outside where it was more private.  He told them what he had found out, making Buffy seethe.  "So we're not going to be able to go mundane and just fight," he finished.

She considered it.  "I'm so talking to someone."  She walked off.  "Get them back to our house.  We have some wards.  Tara, can you?"  Tara nodded quickly.  "Xander, no patrol tonight."

"I'll be cleaning up the store."  She smiled and nodded.  He looked at Tara.  "Let me drive you three over."  She nodded, going to get Willow while he got Anya.  Tara could ward Buffy's house.  Then Xander went to make sure the store was still standing and what could be salvaged.  Cops were looking at the doorway so he coughed.  "Someone tried to rob the store.  Got a bit forceful when I said no."

The cops walked off muttering.  He found one inside in his med kit and charmed him.  He walked out looking like he had just eaten a huge meal and gotten a blow job under the table at the same time, but he wouldn't remember being there.  He got everything cleaned up and hidden.  Then he came back to go over the weapons and make plans.  There was no way some jumped up hell goddess was going to upset him.

"You know, you are the weaker being in your relationship," a male voice said with a fond, amused tone.

"No, not really, Father."  Xander looked at him.  "I see you escaped again."

"It's not that hard."  He smirked at his son.  "He was a better warrior."

"Now he's scary with knives and I'm scary in many other ways," he said dryly.  "He didn't respect me."

"I worked long and hard on that alliance."

"Yay.  That was his shit. Not mine."  He stared at him.  "Why did you show up?  We already have one insane hell god running around."

"I came to talk to you.  Your grandfather noted he had seen you both."

"Roque asked me to protect his former team."

"I see.  Are they...useful?"

"No, they're called friends, Father.  Not useful."  His father grimaced.  "Want me to ask again why you're here nagging?" he asked sarcastically.  "Because I'm in the middle of some battle plans."

"I could've sworn you were a protector, Son."

"Yeah, well, that was ages ago, Father.  Bite me."  He stared at him.  "Any other issues?"

"No, I mainly came to check on you.  I felt you be injured earlier.  I also felt you nearly break out in something you shouldn't be able to access."

Xander snickered.  "Father, welcome to the Hellmouth," he said dryly.  "And yeah, when Glory attacked...."  Loki gave him an odd look.  "By the way did you even think before you popped around to nag?" he asked dryly, smirking at him.

"Well, no, I just thought you might like to see me.  Perhaps ask for a favor?"

"Sure, give me Mjöllnir for a bit," he said dryly.  Loki gaped in horror.  "We have a hell goddess running loose.  That's what attacked me earlier."

"Oh, dear."

"Yeah.  And more insane than you made my stepmother."

"She has her uses, son."

"I don't give a damn.  You treat your women like shit.  You probably always will."

"Son, they're not...."

"Shut up.  I don't want to hear your sexist ideology since women are stronger.  If men had to give birth, humanity would've died *centuries* ago."  He smirked.  "Anything else you wanted to whine about, Father?"  Loki glared at him.  He called someone.  "It's Xander.  My father's here in Sunnydale.  Yeah, that means he can't leave on his own.  Thought you might wanna tell someone to see if he wanted to visit."  He hung up, smirking at his father.  Loki was trying to travel or even ease into the shadows and couldn't.  "Welcome to the Hellmouth, Dad."  He walked off.  "If you want, you can give me advice on how to take on an insane hell goddess without mead, porn, or sexy music.  Then again, she might be your type but I'd hate to have her as a stepmother."

Loki growled.  "How are you doing this?"

"It's the town, not me."  He smirked.  He slapped the cuffs on him.

***

Coulson hung up and went to find his charge.  "Thor."  He looked up.  "Your brother's visiting your nephew."

Thor snorted.  "I'm sure he's not amused."

"They're in Sunnydale so he can't leave.  Xander thought you might like to visit."

Thor stared at him.  "Beating Loki might be nice," he admitted.  He considered it.  "Huh."  They got him there and his nephew somehow knew, bringing his father out to see him that night before walking off.  "Nephew, may we speak?"

"Later.  I just spotted the insane hell goddess out trolling."  He snuck off, dipping into the shadows to follow her as stealthily as he could.

Thor took a swing, knocking his brother down.  "Good day, Loki."

"Brother," he said dryly.  He was still trying to cleanse his powers of the foulness of this town but it'd take a few minutes.  He'd have to distract Thor.  The silly little agent human had followed his son so that was helpful as well.  Though someone else was showing up.  In a metal suit.  "Is he a knight?"

"No.  Stark," he growled.

"Coulson called for help?"

"He's in town following my nephew."

"Thanks."

"There's an insane hell goddess," Loki said smugly.

Ironman shook his head quickly.  "Figures with this town of oddness and stupid things."  He took off and flew down to try to track one of them.  Coulson had activated a tracking chip in his phone on purpose.  Let Thor beat the crap out of his brother all he wanted.  What he saw amused the hell out of him.  "JARVIS, take video of her for later analysis."

"I am, sir," the AI reported.  "That is quite an unusual feeding style."

"Yes, it is."  He landed next to her.  "Lady, should you be doing that?"  She shrieked and hit him, knocking him back.  "Huh.  Stronger than I guessed."  He got up out of the rubble and stomped back.

"She's a hell goddess," Coulson called.  "She has a host body that can be killed, Stark."

"Thanks for the warning."  He shot his repulser at her.  Nothing.  She laughed and complained about her hair being staticky.  This was a bad thing then.  Then he saw Alexander step out with his axe to take on the charging minions.  That helped a bit.  He kept blasting her with heavier and heavier things.  Until he was using missiles that usually took out tanks.  That one pissed her off, it burned her outfit.

He heard a female shriek and saw lightening come down to hit her.  Stark looked.  Tiny redheaded late teenager by his estimates.  Earth shoes, frumpy clothes.  Must be Rosenburg.  "Miss," he greeted.  He blasted her and Willow did her thing again.  The form wavered.  "JARVIS, hit her with something when she goes male the next time," he ordered as he attacked again.  The AI fired the nanosecond she started to waver.  The body burned up.  Stark relaxed.  He blasted the remaining minions.  "Worse than Taliban," he muttered, cracking the boy up.  "Alexander."

"Mr. Stark.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  I was told something was after Dawn."  Xander pointed at the messy spot.  "Good to know I could help."  Xander moved closer, waving him to bend down so they could talk.  Tony lifted his visor and Xander hissed at him, getting a nod.  "I got briefed on that."

"One's a fireling," he said quietly.

"And that as well."

"They're looking to dismantle but I'm guessing he's got his finger in many pies."

"Oh, he does," Coulson agreed as he walked over.  "Thank you, Stark."

"It's easier to stop it here before it gets out in the rest of the world."  He looked at the kid.   "If he wants to ask, I'll let him use a corner of the processor."

"One thing they found was he was part of the Initiative mess.  Which means...."

"Rhodey might know," he realized.  Xander nodded.  "I know he's not."

"I know he's not, but who else is around him?  By a photo recently at least one was."

"Good point.  I'll talk to him later, kid.  Thanks for the head's up."

"Repayment for taking out the psycho bitch."  He grinned.  "I'd bake cookies but I suck at it.  I'll ask Tara if you want."

"Nah, Pepper's on a diet.  She'd steal them all from me."  He smirked and took off, lowering his visor.  "Later, kids."

"Thank you," Coulson said, looking at the boy.  "And for bringing that other one to our attention."

"Not like I wanted to listen to him bitch that his arranged marriage plot fell through," Xander said dryly in Spanish.  Coulson snickered, patting him on the arm.  "Speaking of...."

"Thailand."

"Good!  He can stay on that side of the world."  Coulson nodded.  "Let's get you back to safety," he said, spotting the vampires.  "Willow, gang."  She looked and swore, following them.  "So, how's things?"

"Not bad.  Dawn nagged him earlier about doing good things for humanity.  Used her sister as an example.  He considers her mouthy and tragically young but spankable."

"Dawn would probably break his hand and if not, I would," Xander assured him.  Coulson grinned.  "You might see if Pepper or someone with Mom sense can help her figure out what she wants to be if she gets to grow up."

"That's not a bad point.  I'll see if Miss Potts would mentor her while her mother's in the hospital."  He grinned.  Xander grinned back.  He liked the kid, he was smart and a smartass without causing him too many problems.  "Have you met Stark's new assistant?"

"No.  Is she single and dangerous?"

"Dangerous yes.  Single.... I think."  He smirked.  "Definitely up your alley."

"Oooh."

"Anya," Willow said.

"Well, yeah, I'm dating Anya.  But Anya might like to meet her.  She might not be so demanding if she met other women who like me."

Coulson patted him on the shoulder as they came to where Thor and Loki were fighting.  "I looked her up.  She's.... loud."

"Very.  Got a concussion right now."  They shared a smirk and he pounced his father, knocking him down.  Thor smirked and kicked Loki on the side.  "Welcome.  That's for trying to make me a wife."  He got up and stepped back.  "So, anyway, since it'll probably be at the very least hours before he can fade out...."

"We'll take this talk somewhere else," Thor said smugly.  "Your friend's sister is mouthy."

Xander stared at him.  "And you're still spoiled."  He smirked.  "If I can do this...."  He waved a hand around.  Thor shuddered.  "She's right to nag you."

"Fine," he muttered.  "Coulson, can we?"

"Definitely."  He helped Loki up.  "Thanks, Harris."

"Hey, I'll warn if more big things show up.  We're good but not hell goddess good."  They smiled and left together.  Xander looked at Willow.  "I'll walk you back to Joyce's."

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Thor.  Agent Coulson is one of Fury's people."

"Oh," she said weakly.  "Like horned hat, big hammer.... prophecy of Ragnarok Thor?"  Xander nodded, walking her off.  "How did you meet them?"

"I briefly dated a valkyrie."

"Oh."

"She's the one who taught me to use a battle axe."

"Huh," she said even more weakly.  "Did you meet Anya then?"

"No and she has no idea."  He grinned.  "Loki showed up to nag.  I spotted Glory when I was dragging him to talk to Coulson since the hellmouth meant that his powers were corrupted so he couldn't blip out."

"Cool I guess," she said, sounding exhausted.  Xander got her onto Joyce's couch as soon as he could and it was nice.  She could nap right there and forget that had happened.

Xander settled in to call Buffy from the front porch, Tara joining him a minute later.  "It's me and Tara with an update.  Even a happy one."  Buffy said that was good.  "I ran into Loki, who showed up to nag."  Tara shuddered, sitting next to him.  "So I called Coulson to see if he wanted to get the brothers together to nag.  I spotted Glory and he followed to get a better look at her for Fury, which meant Ironman got called.  He and Willow turned her into a charred spot after about an hour of fighting."  Tara relaxed.

"Also, I heard Dawn nagged Thor."  Buffy cackled, telling her mother that.  "I suggested someone like Miss Potts might be able to give her a good educational role model and ideas about safe things to do in the future.  That way she has a good female role model among the more normal people who know as well.  Plus Pepper probably knows some of the best colleges in the universe.  So how's your mom?"

He grinned at Tara.  "First treatment earlier and they're very hopeful."  Tara grinned.  "Tara's nearly hugging me in joy over that, Buffy.  No, the store's trashed after she showed up earlier.  I got it cleaned up but not a lot of salvageable stuff.  The books are dented.  The candles and stuff are ruined.  The weapons were a mess.  I've got it stored and locked up for later fixing.  Yup, it's all good.  Stay with your mom, we've got Sunnydale for now.  Laters, give her a hug from us."  He hung up and looked at Tara, who smiled.  "It's good news tonight."

"Very good news."  She hugged his arm.  "You should talk to your half-brother."

"Why?"

"Because I keep seeing him in a dream."

"Huh."  He considered it.  He had no doubt Tara knew who he really was.  Tara and he were a lot alike.  "He's off in the middle of nowhere."  He shrugged.  "I'll send him an email."  She grinned.  "So.... what shall we do tonight?"

"Make Joyce cookies?"

"I could like some cookie making.  I'm a good cookie making helper."  He got up and helped her up, taking her into the kitchen to help her.  He was a sucky baker but he had stronger arms so he could mix the batter better than she could.

***

Dawn looked up from her pouting when a woman walked into her room.  "Who're you?"

"Xander said you might like to meet me because I can help you decide what areas you want to study, Dawn."  She sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the young girl.  "I'm Pepper Potts."  Dawn gaped in awe.  She smiled.  "He thought you might need a good female role model while your mother's sick and you're being overprotected by the cro-magnon blond."

"He so needs my mom's foot up his butthole."

"He probably could use it, yeah."  She held out a hand.   "Let's go outside.  It's stuffy down here."  Dawn nodded, letting her help her up and outside.  "I've heard about your sister's work.  Mostly when the agents found out and had a temper tantrum," she admitted.  "They consider her very...strange."

"The whole group is a bit strange."

"Yes, but usually good."  She smiled.  They ran into Coulson, who looked messed up.  "Problems?"

"Loki's in a foul mood."

Dawn snorted.  "Bigger spoiled brat man?"  Pepper laughed.  "Seriously, Xander is *so* much a better man.  Even Agent Stuffy here is."

"Those with power often think they're more special," Pepper said dryly.  "It's up to normal people like me, Agent Coulson, and Xander to show them differently."  She smiled.  "We're going outside."

"It's safe.  It's a bit breezy though."  He looked at Dawn.  "They fired up the insane blonde in Gucci last night."

"Not my sister, right?" she asked.  "Not that she favors Gucci but you never know."

"No, not that one and she's in D&G today," Coulson quipped back with a smirk.  "The one after you, Dawn."  The girl hugged him and beamed at Pepper.  "Go ahead.  Stark's pouty."

"Usually," Pepper agreed.  They went topside to talk and get to know each other.  Dawn really did have her mother's backbone and strength but she needed to focus it in a way that would get her where she wanted to go.  Whether that be helping the cause or not.  Pepper read the girl easily enough; she was a nice, mostly normal teenage girl with something inside her.  They'd figure out a good place for her to help.  Maybe someday she'd be her successor.

She saw her boss watching and waved him off, getting a nod and a smirk.  Dawn looked at him.  "You look nicer in the armor and less uptight too.  Maybe you should go hide or something?"

"It's the wind," he admitted.

Dawn looked up and the wind eased.  He gaped.  She smirked and walked Pepper off.   "I do not want to turn into Willow."

"Then you won't.  As long as you're aware of your actions and the consequences, you'll never be addicted to your skills.  There are some that are addicted to the adrenaline of the fight and battles, but not like that."  Dawn relaxed and grinned again.  "Even if you don't nurture that gift, there's always other duties that need to be done.  Tony would've died *long* before he finished college if it wasn't for me.  Probably from a bad girlfriend's hand."

"Is he related to Xander?"

"No."  She smiled.  "We did wonder when we met Xander but he's not."  Dawn grinned at her.

"How do you not get used as the heroine in distress?  I'm feeling like there's probably going to be more kidnapings to get back at Buffy or because of who and what I am," she said quietly.

"That's harder to arrange.  Even I get threatened sometimes," Pepper admitted.  "You have to be stronger than they are and find ways of getting free."  She talked to her about her own experiences and the girl got some good suggestions.  When Loki got free and came for her, Dawn and Pepper just glared until he backed off.

"I can see why my son likes you like his own sister," Loki said, staring at the young thing.

Dawn tipped her head.  "Xander's not Godly.  He's a normal guy with a knight complex who jumped in."

Loki snorted.  "Not hardly."  He smirked and disappeared.  "Finally!"

"I'm asking Ethan to sic Janus on you," she called.  Then she looked at Pepper.  "Really?"

"Hmm.  That's a question to ask him."  Dawn raised an eyebrow.  "Technically he's only immortal."

"Huh.  I'm not going to tell my sister.  She'll be pouty that he's special too.  Think he's been possessed or something."

"Yeah, she does have that blind spot.  Tony does sometimes too."  They heard the sound of jet boots and looked.  "Rhodey's here."

"He's cute and all but not my type," Dawn quipped.  "Too old and uptight."  Pepper giggled, patting her on the arm.  "Some day I'll have to date, even if my sister does whine."

"Big sisters can be that way.  Don't date someone like her ex though."

"Eww, I have better taste than an Initiative weenie."  Rhodey looked at them oddly.  She stared back.  "Private convo, dude.  Take the special iron underwear somewhere else."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Boys," she huffed.

"You'll learn how to finesse them so they're on better behavior," Pepper assured her happily.  "It's how I get Tony to do what he needs to do too."

"Oooh, can you teach me how to be good for boys to pick up?"

"No.  I can teach you how to be hot and wanted but picky.  Real women are always picky."  She walked her off to the sandy areas to talk about boys.  Dawn was a teenager.  Boys played a big part in her thinking right now.

"Does everyone but us know about Xander?"

"Pretty much.  He ran into something that Tony was working on and Tony did a background.  Which got back to Agent Fury, who threw a fit of epic proportions I'm told, and talked to Xander, but didn't let on when your sister butted in.  So yeah, most of us know about Xander but it's not anywhere Willow might find if she took up hacking again, or their former cohort Oz."

"Huh."  She nodded.  "I'm so picking on him later.  Does Spike know?"

"Not that I know of.  Do you like Spike?"

"He's a really great sitter and he loves my mom.  Mommy feeds him cocoa to talk about his girlfriends, including when he mopes over Dru.  He thinks he loves my sister too."

Pepper shook her head.  "As long as he doesn't try to hurt you I guess he's a good friend to know."  Dawn grinned at her.  "I don't have many friends that could kill me."

Dawn shrugged.  "Things are weird in Sunnydale."

"I know.  There's plenty of days that Agent Fury wants to bomb your town."

"Xander has plans for that," Dawn quipped with a grin.  Pepper giggled.  "Seriously."

"I'm sure he does.  I'm surprised he didn't during graduation."  They walked off again.  She could really like Dawn.  She was a neat girl.

***

Xander's head lifted from his current poker hand when whispers started to go through the bar.  He looked over.  "What's up?" he called, going back to his hand.

Agent Fury sat down, sprawling in his chair while he petted the meowing bet on the table.

"No petting the bets," one of the demons complained.

"Guys, that's Nick Fury," Xander said dryly.  "He gets to pet the meowing thing since I'll win it anyway."  He put down his cards.  They all moaned and tossed down theirs.  Xander smirked as he gathered his winnings.  "We can take the kitty and drop her off outside of town."  He walked off with the agent.  "What's up?"

"Three things," he said, leaning against his car.  "First, you have plans to bomb the town?"  The cat curled up in his arms.

Xander nodded.  "Have since eleventh grade."

"Can I get a copy to compare with ours for emergency overruns?"

"Sure."  He grinned.  "Since that's something you could have called in, what's the huge bad thing?"

"Two huge bad things.  Why did you send an email to someone on a classified military project?  One of their people hacked and found out that we had a connection so he had me ask."

"Tara started having prophetic dreams that I should talk to my half-brother."

Fury stared at him.  "Sheppard?"  Xander nodded.  "Huh.  Okay."

"Same mother, different fathers."

"Interesting."  He nodded once.  "Okay.  Secondly, they could use you."

"Um.... no.  I'm not really military oriented.  I hate following orders."

"I know, kid.  We'd be amazed if you did follow some," he said dryly.

"Yeah, me too."

Fury snickered, petting the cat he'd be dropping off later.  He growled when some tiny demon walked up pouting at him.  "Private conversation."  Xander petted it and it ran off wailing.  "You clearly have the touch."

"They think I'm unholy."

"Because of your parents?"

"No, because I know girls.  They're a very segregated society."

"Ah.  Gotcha."  He looked at him.  "They could really use some help."

"They could .... move here as a training area," Xander offered.  "Because if they can handle the weird here, the weird there is nothing."

"That's actually not a bad idea.  They're only in Colorado and the base here is less underground than theirs is."  He nodded.  "Other than that, they've got some massive problems with a people eating species."

"Do we have research on them?"

"Probably not unless it's in a demonic library.  Something ancient created it."

Xander considered it.  "I can ask Hel.  She does owe me a few kittens from our last poker game."  He called her assistant.  "Hey, it's Alexander.  I was wondering about something for my half-brother.  Other one.  John, yeah.  He's somewhere with a people eating species?"

Nick took the phone.  "Ma'am, Nick Fury.  He's dealing with a species called Wraith?"  He listened.  "Please do.  I can have his half-brother send it to him.  It could only help.  Do you have anything on their city?  Yes, they are."  He smiled at the boy.  "That's very helpful and he's been begging for any help he could find.  Thank you, ma'am."  He handed the phone back.

Xander put it against his ear.  "Can you call his Dad's people?  Well, I can get in touch with Mom's assistant then.  Thanks, Auntie.  No, he was holding Dad hostage for a few days though.  Thanks."  He hung up and called his mother's assistant.  "Gladriel.... you know I still think it's great Tolkien named an Elf Goddess after you," he quipped when she growled.  "Small issue for John.  A coworker of his has heard he's dealing with a species called Wraith where he is on his mystically nuts city."  His mother snatched the phone.

"Hi, Mom."  He grinned.  "Not me, John, but Agent Fury wanted me to go help him for a bit.  Yeah, they're on Atlantis and he has wraith.  Do we know anything and can you ask his daddy's people? I asked Aunt Hel's assistant if they had anything."  He beamed.  "That'd be really cool.  Thank you.  I'll see if I can do that.  Yeah, they might appreciate anything on the city as well.  Thanks, Mom.  No, we just had to get Agent Fury's help to destroy a hell goddess named Glorificus."  He hung up on her spluttering.  "She's not real happy to hear that part."  He put his phone back.  "You know... that team I was helping..."

"I already had that idea, kid."  He smirked.  "Plus seeing if Stark wants read into it.  By the way, Pepper adores Dawn.  Thinks she's neat, and might even get her to follow in her shiny pumps some day."

"Dawn will hate being taken hostage."

"Pepper's too good for that."  He got into his car and drove off.  There were some things to arrange.

Xander went back on patrol.  Since he had money for a pizza now and the kitty was on her way to LA.

***

Nick Fury smiled at the men who walked into the diner, waving them over.  "I had it cleared for this talk, boys.  Want some pie and coffee?"

"Please," Clay agreed, sitting down.  The others pulled over chairs and got their own pie and coffees.  "What's going on, Agent Fury?  Has someone made a determination of what we're doing for now?"

"I'm here to offer you an option," he said.  "I have knowledge and just enough pull to make some suggestions with a top secret quiet project that is more insane than Sunnydale.  Some of the skills you saw the kids there use would do you good there."  He stared at them.  "I'm not asking you to be our spy or anything but they could use some more help.  The Marines are good, so are the Air Force guys, but you guys are supposed to be better."

"We are," Clay assured him.  "Where?  Afghanistan?  Iraq?"

"Off world."

Clay gaped.  "Excuse me?"

"The SGC is hiring?" Jensen asked.  "I thought about applying there but they're a bit too crazy for me usually."

"That's a bad thing," Clay said dryly.

"They could use your team somewhere that has a people eating species to fight," Fury told them.  He smirked at Jensen.  "With Sheppard if you ran into mentions of him."

"Oh, hell yes, I want to go to Atlantis some year."

"As in lost city of?" Pooch asked.  Fury and Jensen both nodded, Jensen grinning at him.  "That's certainly going to cut down on my leave time with the son.  Didn't it sink or something?"

"It was but in a whole other galaxy."

"That'll be a long trip," Pooch quipped.

"Few minutes via their method in, two weeks by ship out," Fury said smugly.  They all gaped.  He nodded.  "They could use your brand of insane craziness and I can use you to quietly funnel some information up there.  Even Stark wants his foot on it to help."

"So we'd be going up as contractors but we'd report to you?" Clay asked.

"You'd be SHIELD agents, yes."

Clay looked at his team.

"The wife of Pooch will kill the Pooch if he's gone too long," Pooch told him.

"Year.  You'll have regular email service and video mail."  Pooch nodded at that.  "It's insane but we'll lose if we don't get some good people up there soon to help those crazy motherfuckers."  A new man walked in.  "General O'Neill."  The guys all saluted.

"At ease, guys."  He sat down next to Fury, looking at them.  "Delta forces huh?"  They nodded.  "We all heard about the fuck up that happened because of that wannabe."  Clay nodded once.  "Family issues?"

"I have a wife and a new son," Pooch said.  "But if I can keep in contact she won't complain too much."

"I have a sister and a niece," Jensen said.  "They're fully protected though."

The general smiled.  "That's good to know."  He looked at Fury.  "You have some really strange contacts."

"Yeah, but it helps."  He smirked.  "I also have some information on Atlantis and the wraith for you from a few very...old sources."

"Interesting," he said casually.

"This team was usually given minimal orders and had to make their own plans.  They're not duffers."

"I read their uncensored jackets."  He nodded.  "We could use you guys definitely."  He smiled.  "If you want to go."

"Have I asked anyone?" Jensen asked Fury.

"No, but we asked your priestess."  He smirked.  "She went on a two week swearing rant stronger than Sheppard's real mother did.  That one nearly flooded my flying office."

"I've read Sheppard's jacket," O'Neill said.

"He was adopted," Jensen said with a grin.  "I know his half-brother."

"Xander's a nice guy," Fury agreed.  "He's the one who told Sheppard's mother to get that info for him when he heard he needed it."

"Huh," O'Neill said.  "Can we recruit this half-brother?"

"Maybe but I doubt it.  He's a smartass who doesn't usually follow orders and he's on the Sunnydale team.  Speaking of, he suggested you move your training areas to the old Initiative base since anything that freaked them out there would be so much worse than it would on your project."

O'Neill nodded.  "I heard about that town."

Fury smirked.  "We adore them for handling it without us most of the time but we had to help them take down a hell goddess recently."  Clay shuddered.  "Oh, no, she had her ugly little minions steal her Gucci and she complained at Ironman when he burned it firing on her," Fury told him.  "It needed our special touch since it took them an hour to kill her."

"Jesus," Clay muttered.  Cougar crossed himself.  O'Neill just shuddered lightly.  "Your group is that insane?"

"Depends on the day," he admitted.  "And if we've recently hit another parallel universe."  Fury cackled.  "Yeah, some days we do that too."  He looked at them.  "I won't lie, Atlantis is very dangerous.  They have native species that want to kill them.  Plants and humanoid.  Plus the wraith.  It's a combat posting that has sent a good third of the original staff home in a box.  That's with our best people."  He looked at Clay.  "You may have more time in uniform then Sheppard but he is in command."

"I do better with a group of misfits than a whole battle troupe anyway, General."

"That might help.  How do you feel about nutsoid scientists?"

"Protect them from themselves like we do Jensen," Pooch quipped.  Jensen slugged him on the arm, eating more of his pie.  He looked at Cougar.  "You got issues?"

"Will these ones turn to dust?"

"No, but they can kill you by touching you and sucking out your life force," Fury offered.

Cougar shuddered.  "Then it is best if we kill them."

"Please, kill them hard," O'Neill agreed.  He looked at Clay again.  "So you're becoming SHIELD agents?"

"I guess we can try that for the year he wanted us for," Clay agreed.  Fury pulled out folders for them.  O'Neill had his own.  "How much training do we need to do before we go?"

"They have specialized boot camp for newbies," O'Neill said with a smirk.  "That way you know all the things that can eat you and not to spar with Ronon."

"We can do that."  He looked at Fury.  "You can keep Roque off their families?" he asked quietly.

"He's still in Thailand."

"That's fine."  He got back to his paperwork.  They were watching the traitor.  "Why ask Xander to help us if he was betraying us?"

"This way he got free but you guys were helped.  You were his family," Fury said simply.  "But you drove him batshit insane with Aisha the dangerous wench.  He needed out and expected to be taken out.  When that fell through, he asked Xander for a favor."

Clay nodded.  "He's a good guy to know."  He got back to it.  "He's not coming?"

"Nope," O'Neill said dryly.

"Cool."  They finished up and handed over the forms; Jensen's had a few pie fingerprints already on it.

Fury looked at O'Neill.  "Stark wants to help too."

"Hey, if Stark can figure out how to make a suit for Sheppard, I'm sure he'd blow him for it.  Or even for Lorne since he's less insane."

"I'll see if he can.  Can you pop around to brief him?"

"I can do that.  If he can make us something cool, it could help."

"He does major in it."  They shared a smirk and let the team get their gear so they could go to Colorado.  Cougar got handed the information package from the families.  That way Jensen wouldn't bounce it around.  Some of those books were ancient.

***

A few days later, Clay raised his hand during the briefing.  "How many of them don't want to kill us?  That might be a shorter list and we'd assume anything not on it was dangerous."

"There's about six hundred down here and about ten in Pegasus," Colonel Mitchell said with a smirk.  "You'll get that next to compare, Colonel."

"That's fine, sir."  He settled in to learn all about dangerous peoples he hadn't dated yet.  It was charming of them to introduce him to new crazy women.

"Did Xander date her?" Jensen asked at one point.  "She looks a lot like Anya."  Pooch moaned, shaking his head.  "Well, she was a vengeance demon for over a millennia."

"Demons exist?" Colonel Mitchell snorted.

"You'll find out when the training gets moved to Sunnydale," O'Neill said as he walked past the door.  "I've got a specialist coming in to teach that.  He's like a cousin of Jackson's."

"Okay," he decided.  "No, as far as I know they're not vengeance demons.  They're from some dark ages like society, Corporal."

"Wonderful."  He grinned. "Maybe we can introduce them."  Clay gave Cougar a pointed look, getting Jensen swatted.  "Hey!  It might make them nicer."

"Around here we have others who date like that," Mitchell said with a smirk.  "You guys scarily fit in around here."

"We're Army," Clay said dryly.  "If we had been Marines we'd probably have been picked sooner."

"Probably, yeah.  They send all their insane ones to us."  He got back to the lecture.  He'd be telling Sheppard later.  They'd enjoy Atlantis a whole lot.

***

The time came for them to go through the wormhole to Midway.  They had been on short trips, and gotten into a battle or six.  The whole SGC loved those guys now.  Even the babbling Jensen did.  "Have fun," Mitchell called.  "Tell Sheppard McKay's sister is sending stuff on the ship."

"Can do," Clay said.  "Let's go, Losers."  They walked through the gateway with the other new staff.  Then they got to wait for an hour of quarantine, which gave Cougar time to clean his rifle again.  They got passed through to Atlantis and saluted.  "Colonel Clay and his team reporting as ordered, Colonel Sheppard."

"Colonel Clay."  He came down to shake his hand.  "Welcome to Atlantis."

Cougar held up the sack.  "From your brother."  Sheppard gave him an odd look.

Jensen coughed.  "From Xander."

"Ohhh-kay," he said, taking it.  "Huh.  Getting an email from him was really strange."

"Mitchell said to tell you that McKay's sister was sending things on the next ship."

"Good to know as well.  Come to my office, guys.  We'll get you situated with newbie camp and rooms.  Lorne?"  He walked them that way.  The others got handled by Major Lorne.  "You guys know my half-brother?" he asked once he had closed the doors.

"Yup, he saved our lives," Jensen said with a grin.   "We really like Xander."

"Goofy, dark hair, dates really bad girls, kinda violent, and uses an axe Alexander?" John asked to make sure.  They all nodded.  "Why?"

"Roque was our teammate but he turned on us," Clay said quietly.  "He asked Xander to help us.  So we got to go to a nice town called Sunnydale to heal in for a week.  The hellmouth was kinda strange."

John sat down, shaking his head quickly.  "Why in the hells is he on the hellmouth?"

"Helping," Jensen said.  "He said he called his daddy's aunt, your mother, and she called your father's people to get you that info."

"That's very handy.  I haven't had the time to ask."  He got into it.  "That's really very handy," he decided, smiling at them.  "Almost better than chocolate around here."

"I brought my own," Jensen quipped.  "And coffee."

"Good."  John smirked.  "All right.  We're going to get you guys set up with newbie camp so you learn all the dangerous stuff out here."

"We just got done with SGC boot camp," Clay told him.  John gave him a look.  "We're Delta Force, Colonel.  We were rescue, quiet ops, all that, until someone tried to use us.  Now we're temporarily SHIELD."

"Cool."

"Fury said to tell you that Stark is being read in to see if he wants to help," Pooch said.

"Very cool."  He grinned.  "I could use a suit."  The door was knocked on and opened.  "Major Lorne.  Guys, this is my second-in-command Major Evan Lorne.  This is Colonel Franklin Clay...."

"Pooch, Cougar, Jensen," Jensen introduced with a grin.  "Hi, Major."

"Special contractors we heard about?"  Clay nodded.  "All right.  You guys scientists or anything else like that?"

"Jensen's a massive hacker and our comm/tech support.  Cougar's our sniper.  Pooch is our transport person and can make it run if it doesn't, no matter what," Clay said.

"Even better."  He grinned.  "I'll have Radek teach you about the jumpers, Pooch.  Any ATA carriers?"  Jensen and Pooch both raised their hands.  "Good.  Let's put you guys on Six East," he decided.  "We have four rooms together down a tiny hallway no one likes because there's no balcony.  But there's a nice roof above you guys if you wanted to climb up to it."  They all nodded.  He handed them maps.  "Colonel, is that stuff for us?" he asked with a point at the books.

"It's stuff a relative found on Atlantis and the wraith.  I'm going to call McKay up to look it over in a bit."

"The DVD has the photocopies of anything that couldn't travel and a summary of the books," Jensen told him.  "Doctor Jackson translated anything that needed to be done, and he said some of it was very interesting.  He also told me how to hack into the mainframe for the AI in hopes I can get something more found out while I'm here."  Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne both smiled.  "And I brought a limited supply present from Jackson to McKay for his birthday."  He pulled it out and held up the bag.

"McKay, come to the office," Sheppard called, turning off his comm.  "I'll let you guys settle in once you guys have met him.  He's head scientist.  He's snarky, mean, and yells.  He's allergic to anything citrus and nuts," he said firmly.  They all nodded they knew that.  "Warned on base?"

"Mitchell," Cougar told him.  He got out of the way when he heard someone walking their way.

"What is so important?" he complained.

"I have information from some very ancient sources on the wraith and Atlantis?" Sheppard asked.  "Corporal Jensen there has a birthday present from Jackson for you?  And he's a hacker."

McKay looked at him.  "The same Jensen that got into our mainframe a few years ago?" he asked dryly.

"Yup, sure am," he said cheerfully.  "Jackson said he translated all of those for you and he asked me to help you with the AI here as well as bring you a birthday present."  He held it up.  "He did say I could hold it hostage for about six days though."  It got snatched with an evil smirk.

Rodney moaned.  "Blue Hawaiian."  He smiled.  "Thank you."

"We're here to do what we can to help," Clay assured him.

"Have Radek get with Pooch tomorrow," Sheppard ordered.  "He's their transport guy and he's got the ATA gene so he can fly a jumper."

"I did a hundred hours of sim on the base," Pooch assured him.  They all smiled at that.  "Based on your flying patterns, Colonel."

"Hey, you survived," Lorne said, getting a punch on the arm from Sheppard, smirking back at him.  "He did."

"Whatever.  Rest tonight.  Let us look this over.  McKay, they said Stark Enterprises is being read into the program."  McKay moaned, nodding.  "I'm hoping for a suit."  He smirked.  "Let's go over this?"  They nodded and Lorne led the team off to their rooms telling them about the mandatory areas they'd need in the first few days.  Jensen had gotten them maps and briefing sheets so that was really handy and they could hit newbie camp in the morning.  He went back to the office to help with the research work.  "Anything good?"

"All the notes on the wraith that the Ancients left," Rodney said quietly.  "A few other things about the city, including her name."  He smirked.  "How did they get these?"

"They asked someone in SHIELD to find it," John said simply.  "They're SHIELD's team to us."

That got a nod and they got to work.  They had plenty of work for a new team and could ask Teyla to go with them sometimes.  Or Ronon.  He'd like them.

***

Clay looked up from his briefing.  "Six whole things that aren't dangerous?"

"Even the worms are against us out here," Evan said smugly.  "The plants, the natives for the most part....  Don't make us lose any trade agreements, Colonel."

"I'd hope we were better behaved than that, Major."  He smirked.  "We'll try really hard."  That got a nod.  "Or we'll let Jensen babble at them until they like us again."

"I haven't tried that yet but it might work."  He got back to the briefing.  He wasn't sure how much work this team was going to get.  They were rescue specialists though so that would take some work from Lorne's team when Sheppard got into trouble.

***

Later that night, Jensen looked up.  He remembered some teaching nursery rhymes that mentioned star patterns he was now seeing.  "Huh."  He looked around before going down to his room to try to change.  It fully worked.  His bigger form was nearly as big as the room but that was fine.  He shrank down and stretched fully for the first time in years.  The he went back to human when he smelled someone walking up his hallway.  He opened the door, smiling.  "You must be Ronon.  We were warned not to spar with you," he quipped.  "Jensen."

"I came to get you for physical testing."

"Cool beans."  He got the others and they went to do their physical testing.  Ronon was scarily good.  So was Teyla.  So was John.  But they all had their own skills.  As a team they were impressive.  Sheppard grinned at them for it even.  It made Jensen feel even more bouncy.  He adored it here.

"Calm down," Clay ordered, cuffing him on the back of the head.

"Yes, boss."

"You guys met NCIS agents?" one of the other guys quipped.

"Yup, over the fallout from the asshole who tried to use our team and declare us as evil," Jensen said with a grin.  "He got taken down pretty hard and a lot of people in the higher ups committed suicide instead of going to jail."

John shuddered.  "I heard.  There was an executive memo that O'Neill sent, guys."  They all smirked.  "No wonder."  He got back to work with Cougar, who was really good.  Jensen against Ronon was Jensen being bouncy and happy while Ronon tried to pin him down.  That was a unique tactic and then Jensen hit him a few times before bouncing off.

Cougar looked over.  "Calm down," he ordered in Spanish.  Jensen shrugged and fought more properly.

Sheppard grinned.  "It's clear you guys are a tight team."  Cougar nodded.  "Do you always wear the hat?"  Cougar nodded again, smirking some.   "Okay.  If that works for you."  Cougar tried to hit him again and it was good.  He could appreciate that.

***

Jensen waved the others to gather in one room and they went to Clay's for now.  Jensen changed down to his smaller form.  "See, I'm adorable.  I have scale itch too.  I really need someone to help me oil and brush them, guys."

Pooch stared.  "Is that your smaller one, hopefully?" Jensen grinned and nodded.  "How big do you get?"

"Room sized."

"Let's not try that yet," Clay said, touching a part of his spinal ridge carefully.  "Huh.  Can you fly in that form?"  Jensen flapped and floated then landed.  "Interesting.  And the tattoos show."  Cougar was giving him a strange look then pulled him over to look at.  "There you go, he can help you brush them and oil your scales."  Jensen beamed at his best friend.

"Does that mean you're from somewhere around here?" Pooch asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."  He looked at Cougar.  "I have a special brush and oil....."

"Later," he said, letting him go.  Jensen changed back, still dressed.  Clay was giving him an odd look.  Cougar pointed outside.  They all nodded they had heard.

Jensen opened the door, grinning at the standing, staring scientist.  "Hi.  Which one are you?"

"Doctor Zelenka."  He said something in his native Czech.  Jensen answered back since he was a dragon too.  "Oh!" he nodded.  "We have the city blocked."

"Cool."  He let him inside.  "Guys, this is McKay's second, Doctor Zelenka."

"Pleasure.  I'm told you'll be teaching me to fix a jumper soon," Pooch said, making the scientist look confused.  "I'm their transpo expert.  If it moves I can make sure of it."

"Is good," he decided.  "I could use help."  Pooch followed him down to learn this new machine.

Clay looked at Jensen.  "One of you?" he asked quietly.  Jensen grinned and nodded.  "That's fine.  Go do maintenance, guys."  They went back to Jensen's room to work on his scales while Clay laid down to stop his headache.  He hated the strange things at times.  This whole year was going to be a fucking trip.

***

McKay walked into the briefing room/bootcamp session the next morning.  "Who found those books?" he demanded.

"Xander asked some people he knew," Jensen said.

"Who did he ask?"

"Some people who aren't real normal?"  He shrugged.  "Long story, Doctor McKay.  We had a wonderful chat when he was protecting our team from idiots in Sunnydale."

McKay stared at him.  "Where they had that crackpot program?" he demanded loudly.

"Xander's on the team that helped stop it," Clay said dryly.

Rodney checked his forehead.  "There's no way."

"Go to Sunnydale and ask him," Jensen offered.  "We were only asked to deliver, Doctor McKay.  When did you want to go over the tech needs to see if I can help you with the databases?"

"Next week, when you're done here."  He stomped off to yell at Sheppard for knowing anything about that crackpot town.  "You knew about that Initiative Program mess?" he demanded.

"What's an Initiative Program?" Sheppard asked.

"They said that someone who helped stop it in the town of crackpot hells got us that information."

"Xander's a relative of mine," he admitted.  "He's a nice young guy who dates really bad girls."  He shrugged.  "Why does it matter where it comes from?"

"Because they look much too new to have been in an Ancient's library," he said dryly.

"Well, since Xander has dealt with other realities a few times, maybe they came from there?"

"They have a quantum mirror going?" he asked dryly.

"No, but their town is a thin spot between worlds.  It's a natural one with a pretty bad leak.  What's an Initiative?"

"Crackpots torturing beings."

"Then I'm glad he helped shut it down.  Should we look for any to be here to send back in tiny pieces?"

"I've made sure none of them got into the SGC," he said bluntly.  He stared at him.  "You're not telling me something."

"I'm not telling you a lot of stuff about Xander, McKay.  If you want to know Xander that much you have to go talk to him.  I haven't seen him in years.  Not since I nagged him to quit dating and he stomped off in a huff to pet his battle axe."

"Who uses a battle axe in today's world!" he shouted.

"Him."  He grinned.  "Talk to O'Neill.  I'm sure he can set up a meeting.  Mitchell's last email said that someone suggested moving our training camp there."

"That place has a very high death rate," he complained.

"Maybe we'll be able to help with that."

"Uh-huh.  What else aren't you telling me?"  John shrugged.  "So now you're stupid?"

"I have no idea why you're fussing."

"We can't authenticate that.  Any of it."

"Is this a problem we could solve with more power?"

"No.  The gate addresses I tried have been blocked out under your authority."

That was rather vague.  There were nineteen worlds he had blocked out for being demon or changer worlds.  "Yeah.  It's dangerous from what I understand."

"One said it's not," he said smugly.

"And yet we have intel saying that a lot of the people from there died in a coup a few years back.  So no, that'll stay locked.  Go to one of the other ones."  He got back to his paperwork.  He'd pay for that sidestep later but oh well.

"No, I believe we need to visit one of those."

"No.  They're dangerous.  Go ask Ronon."   McKay huffed off.  John shuddered.  He couldn't imagine the snotty dragons ever liking them.

***

Ronon walked up to Jensen later, staring at him.  "You clearly know about Pirlax."

"Um, no, my family came from somewhere else."  He grinned.  "Why?"

"You know of the shiny things?"

"Yeah.  My grandparents left during the coup."

"Interesting.  There's a few of you we have caught around here."

"Do we know each other?"

"That I do not know but perhaps you should since McKay wants to go there."

"I can't imagine the purists having a good reaction," he muttered since others were walking up the hall around them.  Ronon smirked.  "I've only met one."

"I'll tell the others."

"Please.  If he wants to, how about the closed one?"

Ronon nodded.  "That is not a bad idea.  Though very dangerous."

"Yup."  He walked off, going to find that doctor.  "Doctor Z?  Do we have search terms we need to focus on?" he asked.  "I'm going to interface tonight to get used to the AI from the room I found earlier."

Doctor Zelenka looked over from being yelled at by Rodney.  "Which room did you find?"

"The fantasy room."  He smiled.  "I can show you so you can check it out first if Doctor McKay doesn't need to keep screaming at you."

"Please.  He is just huffy and needs girlfriend or chocolate like a woman does."  He gathered his gear and followed.  "Why did you show up?" he asked quietly.  Jensen told him in their native language.  Radek moaned.  "Is bad idea."

"It's your boss's."

"That one is listed as very dangerous."

"True."

"But a good idea, perhaps.  Is hopefully uninhabited."  Radek looked around the room Jensen had gotten them into.  "Hmm.  I sit in here sometimes.  Is nice."

"It's very nice and the AI appeared to chat earlier."

"Yes, might be for the best then."  He smiled.  "You look very soft."

Jensen grinned.  "Cougar helped me condition myself."

"Wonderful.  Is nice to have friends who do such things."  He let him get into the AI mode and watched what he was doing.  She was much happier with him.  "Remember, we have little power sometimes."  Jensen nodded, grinning at him.  "If you could find ZPM notes or research, would be best for us."

"I'll try."  Radek nodded and left him alone to talk with her.  She was only a shadow but she had linked into his computer.  So it was like an IM with the person in front of you.  "I don't know how to do that, ma'am.  I was never taught."  She pouted about that but gave him other ideas.  They could handle some things.

***

"Something strange with those new people," Evan said quietly as he walked up to where John was watching the sunset.

"That's why SHIELD coopted them," he agreed with a smirk.

"Makes sense.  What else are they doing up here?"

"Mostly they're here to see what other help we could use.  They're not spying or anything but Fury can be told if they need something.  Or my relative."

Evan looked at him.  "He pissed you off?"

"No, it makes me sad that he's going to die some day soon doing even more stupidly heroic stuff than I manage."

"Is he actively suicidal or just mildly so?" Evan joked.

John looked at him.  "He moved to the most dangerous place on earth to help fight the reason.  Without being military.  No training.  And jumped in at sixteen."  He walked off.

"You know Xander Harris?" he demanded.  John stopped to look at him, mouth slightly open until it snapped shut.  "One of my former teammates was out there, barely, when it got shut down.  As soon as I heard, I put in his transfer papers for him but he died in a battle before that could go through.  By the way, Landry knew about it.  They took over the scientific stuff at Area 51 when it got shut down."  He stared at him.  "How do you know Harris?"

"He's my half-brother.  Is that all you know about him?"

"The guy nearly wrote epic poetry about him, sir.  You two are a lot alike."

John shook his head.  "Not really."

"Yeah, really.   A whole lot of really, sir."  He gave him a pointed look, getting a scowl back.

"How did you recognize him from that?"

"I have a copy of the three hymns my former teammate wrote about them in case they might ever apply to people I work with.  That way I can compare and then run like hell."

"I'd like to see those," he admitted, grinning slightly.  "He's not fully trained the way I am."

"Uh-huh.  And yet he helped blow up his high school when a huge ass demon snake tried to take over the world during his graduation ceremony," Jensen said as he joined them.   "Fury's file on him is *very* amusing reading, Colonel."

"Do you have a copy, Jensen?"

"Yup.  Of your half-brother's whole team."  He gave him a smug look.  "I thought you might want them since Xander said you guys haven't talked in a while."

"Yeah, I could. And those...hymns, Lorne."

"Fine.  Let me raid my desk."  He walked around them.  This was getting way too strange, even for Atlantis.  Sunnydale colliding with Atlantis was probably the end of the universe or something.  They might have to get Summers up to fight the wraith.

Jensen looked at him.  "Your brother helped me find a priestess too," he said quietly.

"Shit," he said, staring at him.  Jensen smirked.  "Seriously?"  Jensen nodded.  "Are you the only one?"

"On my team?"

"Here?"  Jensen stayed silent.  "Fuck!"

"Yup.  By the way, she won't let him dial those areas and that closed one, I'm hoping it's still closed."

"Good!"  He walked off to find Evan.  "Get me those files please, Jensen."

"Already slid under your doorway, Colonel."

"Thanks."  He went to grab that before anyone else found it and got those hymns from Evan.  Then he went to his office to read them all.  The hymn to the booty skirt and backless shirt wearing goddess made him cackle but yeah, he could spot his half brother.  The idiot.  He needed to paddle Xander for that stuff.  He read the files and moaned, shaking his head.

Chuck, the gate tech, turned in his chair to look in there.  "Bad news from home, sir?"

"Information on a distant relative, Chuck.  He's going insane.  More than I am out here."

Chuck smiled.  "Remember, on earth there's medicine for that, Colonel."  He turned back around.

"If I could drug him, I certainly would."  He called Ronon up, letting him have the hymns.  "Someone Evan served with ran into my half-brother's team."

Ronon read them.  "I might like to meet that Goddess."

"She's not a literal one but if things start going the way their town does, I'll gladly call her up so you can flirt," John quipped.  He showed him her picture.  "That's her file."

"She's pretty but short."

"Yes she is."  He got back to it.  "My half-brother is a fucking moron," he muttered.  The files had hacked copies of federal files on the kids.  The one from the Initiative was clearly wrong.  His one from the FBI was a warning about chocolate and sugar being given to him.  And if he was dating, they were evil at some time in their lives.  The NSA file listed him as 'do not go near and kill yourself if he finds you watching him'.  That was not making him happy.  He was so unhappy he had to go find Rodney's stash of Tums.  Maybe they needed some time back there to kick his ass.  He took the roll of antacids with him as he went back to his office.

"I need some of those," Rodney complained.

"I need them more.  My idiot relative has an NSA file with a 'leave alone at all costs' rating."

"How in the hell?  Mine only says to not annoy me."  He followed to read them.  Sheppard tried to shut them down but he simply took the disk to read on his own system.

"That's classified."

"My rating's higher than yours."  He saw the hymn and tipped his head to read, snickering.  "Who is that about?"

"Harris and his team."

Rodney read the others and got into the file, shaking his head at the flight of fancy in them.  "There's no way."  He got into the file marked 'graduation' and stole the rest of his Tums back while he watched.  "Who in the fuck is that person?" he demanded.

"Which?"

"The snake!"

"He's dead."

Rodney looked up.  "Excuse me?"

"He's dead.  They're about to blow him up in the school."  Rodney went back to watching, shuddering when the school went up.  "That dark haired guy is Xander, who got us the intel."  He smirked.

Rodney stared at him.  "How do you know someone like that?"

"Distant relative."

Rodney shook his head.  "It's clearly an inherited sort of insanity in your family's case."

"He's from my mother's side."  He smirked.  "He moved there on purpose too."

"Huh.  Can we recruit him?  He'd be happy with the more sane environment we can give him."

"No."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes.  Evan would leave.  I'd miss him doing all my paperwork."

"Pity."

"This spring they'll have another really bad thing.  Just like usual.  And the SGC wants to move there."  He took the disc back and broke it, tossing it out.  "Can I have my ulcer and migraine in peace?"  Rodney walked out to bang his head against a wall.  "Think how I feel," he called after him.  John went to lie down.  He really needed a nap.  Before he went insane thanks to hearing what Xander did.  Then John realized he was starting to follow in his footsteps.  Atlantis was something Xander would've done a few years ago.  In a few years, John might have to move to Sunnydale.  He'd have to kill himself first, or go to a real hospital with the shiny buckle jackets and the nice pills if he ever got that urge.

***

Xander looked at his fiancee, then sighed.  "I..."  She glared.  He pointed at her friends.  She glared at them.  "I think someone wants you single," he said quietly.  "Because what I saw meant you'd be miserable, we'd be poor, and you'd never be happy."

"That is what I foresaw," a female said, appearing.

Anya gaped then slowly sank to her knees.  "Freya?"

She stared at Xander.  "Did I give you permission for this after I agreed to your last one, which you walked away from?" she asked smugly.

"That was arranged without my consent, he wasn't going to work with me over my *fated* duties, and yay?"  He shrugged.

"I can have the All Father make you mortal," she said in their special language.  Xander shrugged and held up something from his pocket.  "How did you get that?" she demanded.

"It's to give to my spouse.  Each of my siblings has one as well," he said bluntly, staring at her.  He put it back into his protected pocket.  "Did you make that up to piss her off so she'd get her powers back?"

"We did appreciate her when she had them," Freya said smugly, sneering at him.  "You've ruined many plans, Alexander."

"Hey, tell him he has to share and we have to both compromise on our duties.  After all, I chose to make her my mate.  I did not choose him.  You and my father chose him.  We are not suited and I would've killed him long before now."  Freya laughed.  "Sure, you laugh now but what did I do to the serpent that came after me that once?"  She stopped laughing and glared at him.  He stared back.  "Or when his people were attacked?  Or even during that nice supposed *game* with the Celts?"

"Enough," she sneered.  "You are going to be rendered mortal."

"Okay.  So be it."  He shrugged.  "Won't change much."  Odin appeared and he nodded politely.  "Did she tell you she's trying to ruin a daughter of the lineage's fate?"

"You are impudent," Odin warned him.

Xander stared at him.  "Only when I have reason, All Father.  The same as you can see if you'd ever look."  He pointed at Anya.  Odin looked and growled at Freya, who knelt.  "She arranged to have me shown a fate where Anya would not be happy if we wed.  As of this moment, I have to make my say.  Are you going to give me some wedding night advice, Grandfather?"

Odin stared at him then at her then back at him.  "Your line is presently muddy, Alexander."

"Why?" he demanded.  "I've been being good!"

"You only postponed a major problem that may manifest where your brother is."

"John or my sister that's taken a male name and attitude?"

"Him, not her."  He rolled his eye then stared at him.  "If you do not marry her, she'll get her powers back," he said in standard Norse so she'd understand.  "And then she'd find that she has human feelings, including guilt."  He looked at her, making her sob.  Then back at Xander.  "Your influence is great at times, Alexander."  Xander shrugged, rolling his eyes.  Odin smacked him on the head.   He went back to the Asgardian language.  "You have destroyed what she once was."

"It was not our fault her power center got broken.  That was an accident and she chose to come back.  Now she's happy," Xander said more quietly, staring at him.  "I might be happy with her.  I even have a golden apple for her if we make a good match."

Odin nodded.  "How did you get one of those?"

"I was owed a few and I gathered one for each of my siblings if they should find a good mate."  He tipped his chin up slightly.  "It's my duty as the family's protector."

"It is," he agreed.  He smiled.  "I have no qualm with that statement but your marriage wasn't really your idea, Grandson."  He stared at her.  "Anyanka."  She blinked up at him.  "I see influence in your aura, daughter."  He glared at Freya, who disappeared.  He looked at her.  "For right now, you shall talk and make a true choice.  If he was in a circle of fire, would you brave it for him?  Or would you brave one for her?" he asked his grandson.

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  The spells were removed and he swallowed.  "Can you put back on the shield?" he asked quietly in English.  Odin shook his head.  "I need that here and it took an awfully long time to put it on, All Father.  Please?"  It was put back but the others were removed.  Odin gave him an odd look.  He waved a hand around.  "The hellmouth, All Father."

"Good point."  He stared at him.   "I swear he's more trouble than he was worth some days."

Xander shrugged.  "Without him you would be bored and still in wars."

"True."  He stared at them.  "You two must talk."  She burst out crying and fled.  Xander gave him a pointed look.  "That is between you two and if this is what you want, make sure it's what you truly want.  That could still happen."  He disappeared.

Xander followed her, finding her outside swatting at a vampire trying to cuddle her to eat her.  Xander staked him and pulled her closer to hold, tucking her under his chin.  "He said it's up to us without any influence, Anya."

She looked at him.  "Would you come for me?"

"I don't know," he said honestly.  "Probably.  Can you say the same?" he asked quietly.  She sniffled.  "Because if you lie he'll do it."

"How do you know Odin?"

"My real father is technically Norse."  He shrugged then smiled.  He hugged her again.  "Think, Anya.  We can wait a few weeks for the wedding."

She sniffled.  "Tara's seeing bad things coming."

"There's always bad things coming," he reminded her.  "We're in Sunnydale, it's almost stereotypical."  He cuddled her.  "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No.  Not yet."  She looked at him.  "Why do you have a golden apple?  Each of us eating half would only make us more healthy."

"Why would I need to eat any?" he asked.

"So you'd curse me like that?"

He stared at her.  "Wrong tall leap of logic, Ahn."

She gasped.  "You're...."  He nodded.  "How?"

"Real father."

"Are you one of the upper ones?"

"Sorta."  He smirked.  "Relax, it just means I'm the way I am.  We're each due one if we find a true mate."  She swallowed and nodded.  "It's the rule that I wait five years after the marriage to make sure it's happy."

"I agree," she said quietly.  She considered it then backed away from him.  "I can't imagine taking that trip with you, Xander."

He nodded.  "Then it's best if we tell the priest he can go home."  She sniffled.  "I'll kick her around for you?"

"I can do that myself."  She wiped her cheeks off.  "That means we have to give back the presents."

"Yeah, probably until we're ready to do this for real."  He looked over at their friends, who were staring hard.  "Freya was trying to force this and with the removal of the spells on us, we were ordered to think."  Anya nodded, hugging him again.

"Why did you have the freaky, special apple?" Buffy asked.

"Because it's a gift to my true mate when I find them, Buffy."

"Oh."

"My real father stuff."

"Oh!"  She nodded more quickly.  "Who is your real father?"

"A guardian.  Just a really decent warrior who protects Valhalla."  Giles moaned, giving him a look.  Xander shrugged and grinned.  "That's how I dated a Valkyrie once."  Anya elbowed him.  He kissed her on the temple.  "We'll rebuild or figure it out, Anya."

"I can agree to that but I'm not sure if I can marry you, Xander.  Ever."

"I know.  Still, we can work things out down to a friendship or more if you want."  She nodded, swallowing.  "This sort of thing is why I wouldn't let you put up a shrine to any of the love gods in the apartment," he said in her ear.  "They're all for screwing you up."

"I know that now."  She elbowed him more gently.  "Let's have that dinner anyway."  They nodded, following.  "You should plant that, Xander."

"Not here, Anya.  It'd get sick and probably be opposite."

"Probably," she sighed.  "It would be wonderful to sell the seeds.  Even one would make us rich enough for years of shopping."

He shook his head.  "It's a special gift, Anya.  You know that."

"I know.  It's a pity."  She looked at Giles, who was still looking upset.  "It's not his fault his father knocked his mother up."

"There was mead involved," Xander assured him with a grin.  "She never lets me forget it."

"He was a warrior?" Giles asked.

"Sometimes."

"Have we met him?" Giles asked casually.

"No, you were out of town the last time he showed up."  He walked off with Anya and Tara.

Giles and Buffy shared a look.  "So he's not quite as normal as we thought?"

"Buffy, no one normal kept memories from halloween," Xander called back.  Willow groaned.  He grinned back at her.  "Or has mermaid taint."  He put his arm through Tara's and grinned at her, getting one back.  "They always think I'm too normal, even after I do something that Buffy has to drink because of."

"They do the same to me," she admitted.  "Especially Willow."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I think they seem to start with her too."  He looked at Anya.

"You know I think that she's spoiled," Anya said dryly.  Xander sighed.  "I'm not going to argue about it."

"You're right, we're not," Xander agreed.

Tara smiled.   "It was a good and sweet thing until the demons stepped in."

"It was and now I get to get them back," Anya said.  She smiled.  "I'll take suggestions."

"I'm sure we have some."  Tara patted her.  "It'll be okay and maybe you'll get married soon."

"We have to think," Anya said.  "The All Father had a point.  I'm not sure I'd brave a circle of fire around him to save him and have him."

Tara nodded.  "Love comes in many forms.  True love is beautiful but not always reality.  And there's nothing that says that lesser loves aren't as valid."

"I know.  So we're thinking," Xander assured her with a smile.  He looked back at the staring trio.  "Dinner?" he reminded them.  They nodded, catching up.

"Xander, what does a warrior do?" Willow asked.

"Drink, defend Valhalla from attack, drink some more, and harass the valkyries who have to serve them," Anya quipped.

"Sometimes they're in the field in a command spot or something," Xander added.  "Mine tends to be sent to guard some others."

"Huh," Buffy said.  "Mead?"

"The alcohol of the viking nation," Anya said.  "It's part beer, part fermented honey."

"I have a bottle in the fridge at home," Xander told her.  "It's real strong though.  So you can't have much, Buffy."

"Okay," she decided.  She looked around.  "Did we forget Dawn?"

"No, she's at super assistant camp this weekend," Willow said.  "I texted her to let her know it was off.  That way she'd quit pouting."

"It is really nice of Miss Potts to take a personal interest in Dawn's future, plus it's a lot safer.  No one really tries to kidnap her," Buffy said with a smile.  "Mom would want to hear too."  She called her room to tell her.  Somehow her mother knew that Xander wasn't really normal.  Buffy wasn't sure what sort of parent psychic skills that was but she hoped she never grew it when she was a mother.  If she became a mother.

There was a good chance she'd never get that chance, especially if she kept sleeping with vampires because they were infertile and kinky.  Her mother said something about kinky sex being fine, it was the vampire part that was bad for her so apparently she was still telepathic.  She said they were at the restaurant and hung up quickly.  She'd have to do the shielding exercises later on so she could visit her mother again without letting her have the headache from being telepathic.

***

Dawn hung up with a sigh and walked off, kicking Thor on the ankle.  "For your father being a dickhead."  She stomped off again.  "Next time, don't let your love goddess interfere with them and don't let your daddy butt in to make them doubt each other."

Thor rubbed his ankle.   "She's turning mean."

Tony Stark looked over with a smirk.  "He messed with her big brother's wedding?"

"He might have stopped Freya if she was involved and gave them advice," he admitted with a grimace.  "She should kick him, not me."

"I'm sure she expected you to pass that on," Pepper said with a smile.  "Dawn?"  She came back in.  "What happened?"  Dawn told them the whole complicated thing, including that Buffy now knew that Xander wasn't really *normal* like she had thought.  "Does she know the real truth?"

"No, he said a warrior, not anything else.  Said it happened with mead."

Thor nodded.  "Yes, it was.  His mother is loud as well."

"Mr. Fury said she nearly flooded his flying office," Dawn quipped.  "Pass those on for him, goldilocks."  She ruffled his hair with a smirk.  Then left again.  She came back to stare at him.  "I thought golden apples were Greek."

"They are but Alexander and John served to save their favorite temples at one time so Hera owed them.  She thought it was a good idea because a spouse was disposable with their lives if not gifted."

She considered that.  "So he would've made Anya immortal?"  Thor nodded. "Immediately?"

"Within five years probably."

"Huh.  Interesting."  She walked off again.  "I'm trying to sort out the stuff Buffy packed for me since I have gogo boots for some reason.  That's her style, not mine."

Pepper shuddered.  "No, you need better dressing style, Dawn."  She followed to help her.  She came back ten minutes later.  "Her sister packed her a *horrible* wardrobe," she told Tony quietly.  Thor laughed.  "She looks like a club girl."

"So does Buffy sometimes," he reminded her.

"Clearly since all those barely there tops got passed on.  Including one with glitter and nearly see-through fabric."

"You have a wonderful salary," he said dryly with a smirk.

"She's helping me."

"Put her on the payroll?"

"I can't let her walk around wearing that.  The guards might stare or something.  They might traumatize her.  Then she'd date men like you."

Dawn walked in.  "It'll be fine, Miss Potts.  Really.  I promise I'll verbally spank anyone staring."  She looked at herself then at Tony.  "This is probably the only thing I have that's work ready."

He stared then handed Pepper his wallet.  "I'm having stripper thoughts, Dawn, so let's let Pepper fix that without telling your sister.  All right?"

Dawn squealed and hugged him.  "Thanks, boss!"  She walked off with Pepper talking about clothes.

Thor shook his head quickly.  "Alexander would probably spank if he's a good big brother."

Tony found a picture online and pulled it up to show the semi-god.  Thor stared and moaned.  "I think he's been made immune since that's during a patrol."

Thor shook his head quickly.  "I suppose that's one way to bait creatures who want lively young women to eat."

"Yup."  He changed it to another one.  "That was your nephew during his aborted road trip when he ended up stripping."  Thor shuddered.  "He did fairly well."

Agent Coulson walked in and looked at the picture, shaking his head and finding another one.  "Black Widow took that one for his file."  Even Tony moaned at that.  Thor banged his head on the table a few times.  "He only likes dangerous lovers."

"He always has," Thor mumbled.  "Roque is very dangerous.  Why can't they work things out?" he moaned.  He looked up.  "This is clearly from his father's side.  His mother is beautiful and alluring, but the leather has to come from his father."  The agent snickered as he walked off.  Tony walked off too, leaving Thor to bang his head some more.  His nephew was so screwed up!  He had to tell John that.  John would stop him somehow.  Coulson said he knew how to get in touch with his other nephew so he'd ask him to write him.

***

Jensen got the email from Coulson, staring at it.  He walked his computer to John's office.  "Your email is bouncing."

"Did you hack it?" he asked dryly.

"No.  Agent Coulson sent me some pictures for you from Xander's uncle so you might know how bad he is.  He said it's bouncing."

"Oh."  He took the laptop with a sigh, staring at them.  He blinked a few times.  "When...."

"The index is on the bottom."

John paged down to read and then back up to look at the pictures.   "We really have got to marry the little asshole off sometime."

"His grandfather stepped in to stop his last wedding."  Jensen got into another email to let him see that.  "Dawn said she kicked his uncle for it."

"Which uncle?" John asked cautiously.

"Something about big, blond, and not real talkative or smart?"

"Thor," John sighed, shaking his head.  "Why are they hanging out?"

"He's in exile."  John moaned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.  "Basically."

John looked at him.  "Are you trying to ruin my happy mood?" he asked sarcastically.

Jensen grinned.  "If I say yes will you let us go rescue Lorne's team later?" he quipped.

"Sure, if they need it you guys can do that instead of going on the trade mission.  Even though the people there would love to hit on you."

"Clay dates like Xander."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "Got it.  Just dangerous?"

"Bat shit insane according to Roque before he turned on us.  His last one was Aisha."

John stiffened, staring at him.  "Is she still sniffing around him?"

"No.  Xander halved her head and then beheaded her to finish it.  A dark thing floated up out of her."

"That's good.  It's good someone finally got her."  He sighed, staring at him.  "Think he needs to talk about her?"

"No idea."

"I'll give him some info."  He looked at him.  "Let me clean out my email and send mine to me?"

"Gladly."  He grinned and walked off.  "Major, if you get into trouble, we'll come running," he quipped as he walked past Lorne.

"Thanks," he said dryly.  "We're not usually the ones that need saved though."

Jensen turned to grin at him.  "It was you guys or going to meet the nice people who threaten everyone but Ronon from what we're told.  Clay might really like that."

"Jensen!" Clay complained loudly from up the hall.

"John said to talk to him about Aisha, Clay."

"Uh-huh."  He went to talk to him.  "My idiot tech support moron said you wanted to talk about Aisha, Sheppard?"

John closed the doors with a thought.  "Way back when, about two hundred years ago," he said quietly.  "I dated the psycho bitch."  He stared at him.  Clay moaned, sitting down.  "Are you all right with her being dead?"

"She told us the drug dealer we took out that got us into all that was her father."

"She probably called him daddy a few times," John offered.

"Xander said she had killed something like seven thousand people."

"I was nearly one of them," John told him.

"She said after we got Max, she'd be killing me."

John nodded.  "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.  She still flexible in bed?"  Clay coughed but nodded.  John grinned and found a picture on his computer, letting him see.  "Aruba before it was named Aruba."

Clay moaned.  "We were in Central America."

"I heard."  He grinned.  "Jensen did ask to move you guys off your mission today because a lot of the women there threaten to kill us in bed after mating with us.  That way you're not taken."

"There's days I miss Roque growling at him for shit like that."

John grinned.  "I met him over six centuries ago," he said quietly.  Clay gaped.  "He and Xander are both over two millennia.  I think Roque's slightly older but I'm not sure.  I'm actually slightly older than Xander but he never treats me like I'm an older brother."

"I still can't see why he turned on us."

John nodded.  "Roque's not real... attached at times."

"Bullshit.  We were like a family until I started to fuck Aisha."

John stared at him.  "If he was to marry Xander, do you think he would've minded?" John asked bluntly.

Clay opened his mouth then shut it.  "You think?"

"I'm pretty damn sure.  The problem he and Xander have is that Xander has a sworn and fated duty and so does he in some ways.  He wanted Xander to give up his so he could be a full alpha asshole and Xander refused.  Offered to split it so they could both serve their duties.  Roque said no.  Repeatedly.  So Xander told him the wedding was off because he wasn't the wife."  Clay nodded once.  "That was the worst marriage combination we have ever thought of.  His father was using it as a plan.  It'd give Loki more allies."

"His father's Loki?"

"Yeah.  He didn't tell you that?"  He smirked.  "Our mother is a Hindu Goddess of a major river."  He shrugged.  "Not that it matters.  I think... and I'm probably right, that he may have found a reason to let the old fighting with Xander go."

"With me," Clay said flatly.  "Which means I screwed all this up."

"No, Aisha screwed it up.  It's her favorite thing to do.  She got me right before I nearly married a young woman.  Killed her two weeks before the wedding.  Tried to have it pinned on me," he said dryly.  "They had figured out I was me but not that I couldn't be in two places at once.  Until one of their people showed up to disprove that I had done it and named her.  I hunted her pretty, nasty ass down for years until she trapped me once and ruined me for nearly eight months.  I stabbed her a few times but it just didn't work."

Clay considered that.  "That sounds like something Roque would do."

"We've all gotten a lot more civilized over the years, Clay.  We were a lot more heathen way back when."  He stared at him.  "If I have to remember, I do."

"I understand that."  He got up.  "Are there any safe women to date?"

"Not on this city or in this galaxy unless you like Teyla or Keller."

"Sadly, nicer than my usual one."  He left, going to think.  If that's why Roque had turned on them but gotten them help, he owed Roque a brawl.  And then they'd talk.

Pooch stared at him.  "What's creeped you out?"

"John thinks Roque left us because of Aisha."

Pooch stared him down.  "How fucking dumb are you?" he demanded, cracking Jensen and Cougar up.  "Of course he got tired of your ass going after every single psychotic chick in the world.  What?  You couldn't fuck him even though he's definitely your type?"  He walked off shaking his head.  "Jolene was right, you're dense."

"Maybe," Clay admitted, looking at them.  "We think?"

"Yup," Jensen said with a grin.  "We're pretty sure.  From my last update email, he's in China this month."  Clay walked off shaking his head.  "I got us moved to rescue duty today so Clay can't pick up some sort of alien VD from some crazy chick."  Cougar nodded at that.  "Major Lorne's team is going and so is team 15."  Pooch moaned and Cougar followed to pick up more ammo and heavier gear.  Jensen let Cougar check his pack, like usual, while he packed his other stuff.  They waited an hour for the first check in.  Lorne's team did but they sounded stressed.  Chuck asked if they needed someone special to come help negotiate but he refused.  With the code word that said they were being listened to.

"Have fun storming the village, boys," John said with a smirk and a wave.  They left, Pooch and Cougar shaking their heads, Jensen snickering.

Rodney swatted him.  "No channeling _The Princess Bride_."

John shrugged.  "You're no fun today."

Rodney stared at him.  "That's because I'm piecing together things that are killing my huge brain."

John looked at him.  "Such as...."

"Who is your father, Colonel?"

"You sound like those birthers on earth."  He walked off.

"Is it a God of war or one of the others?" Rodney called after him.

"Nope, far off!" he quipped back with a wave.  "I'm not a god of war, I'm just really good at it."  He smirked before turning a corner.  "I dare you to ask Ronon that."

Rodney glared at his back.  "I'm going to find out."  He felt something odd and looked around.  "What is that humming?"

Xander stepped out of a shadow with a backpack.  "Sorry, transport method hums, dude."

"Who are you and how did you get here?" Rodney demanded.  Though he knew.  The kid hadn't aged that much.

"If you're that mean, I'm taking me three germy friends home and they can kill things down there instead," he said dryly.  Then he smiled sweetly.  "I lost a bet and have to come deliver this shit though.  But, hey, I can say I tried and you didn't want them if you want."

"Freeze," Rodney ordered.

Xander blew a kiss.  "I don't play Simon Says, Doctor McKay.  Not my thing."  He stared at him.  "Should I take my germy friends home?"

"No."  He called over the comm.  "Sheppard, you have a visitor in the gateroom."  He waved off the guns.  "I doubt it'd do much beyond piss him off."

"Well, maybe," Xander admitted.  He blew a kiss at John.  "I lost a poker bet with someone and had to deliver these germy, anti-wraith friends to you."

"How did you do that?" John asked quietly.

"Shadow shifting."  He beamed and held out the backpack.  John took it to look inside.  "They packed it, not me."

"They look like they're properly packed.  Med team to the gateroom for pickup."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Shoo.  Before people start to wonder."

"Awww.  Mom sent that by the way."

"Shit."

"Yup.  Her assistant's boyfriend got a *massive* good boy pat for making those for her."  He waved and grinned.  "She said you're to use them, or else she's finding a way to come up here.  Then we're all in deep shit.  Because I can just see Mom throwing a damn fit and sinking your pretty city of mayhem and havoc."  He stepped back into the shadows and disappeared.

"How did he do that!" McKay demanded, turning on John.

"I don't know.  I can't."  He walked down to the medical team walking in.  "Someone sent me anti-wraith germs."

"Gimme," she said, taking it to walk off with.  "How did they get up here?  The ship's not here."

"Just... don't ask," John said dryly.  "It's strange even for Atlantis."

"Whatever," she decided, taking it back to examine and test.

Rodney shoved John into his office, following him.  "I want answers," he snarled.

"Of course you do."

"Where did he come from?"

"Sunnydale probably."

"How did he get another galaxy away?"

"Shadow shifting.  It's a gift that's only his due to his duty.  I can't.  I never could even when he tried to teach me once."

"And that's....."

"Basically like teleporting between the different shadows as long as you know where you're going and it's dark somewhere on each end," Xander said as he stepped out, handing over a small brown paper bag.  "I forgot Mom's mint chip and walnut brownies."  He sighed.  "She's not a happy woman."

"I figure she's not.  She made me brownies?"

"It's your birthday in two months, dickhead."

John grinned.  "Yeah but that's early for brownies."

"If we're all lucky, Mom won't be up here to help plan your party."  He smirked at McKay.   "Secondly, it's not going to happen.  I can't teach it to you.  I can't teach it to anyone.  It's because of the job I'm fated to do."

"Who's your parents?" Rodney demanded.

"Loki and a River Goddess."

"So you share a ... a what?" he demanded, looking at his leader.

John sighed and sat down, nodding.  "She's not real strong or powerful.  When she was younger she liked to party."

"She keeps blaming the mead," Xander agreed with a smirk.  "Speaking of mead, if I had a vision and I sent it to your email address, did you get it?"

"Not yet."  He checked.  "No, not in the last two days.  We're getting another email session in about a thirty-six hours."

Xander considered back.  "You should've had it by now," he sighed, pulling out his netbook to get into it and find the file so John could read it.  "Prompted by Mom showing up when I had a migraine.  Her present assistant is one and activated mine."

"Shit," John muttered.  He looked at him.  "Are you all right?"

"Beyond a worse migraine?"  He shrugged.  "I already had one from talking to Anya."  He looked at Rodney then shrugged.  "What?  You thought he was more than normal?"

"Are you killable?"

"Yeah but I'm also part of the Ragnarok prophecy so you can't do it."

"Those aren't real."

"Dude, I so deal with them daily," Xander said dryly.  "And warp them.  They may not be real in your world but I deal with demons and shit."  He smirked.  "Speaking of, Fury wants me to send you my former best friend Willow to boot camp her ass, John."

"Why?  She's very anti-military the last you told me."

"Her magic addiction led to a neat little memory charm."  He smirked.

"Have O'Neill do it."

"They don't want her anywhere near the planet in case she sneezes and accidentally opens our hellmouth.  Stark even offered to drop her on another planet."

"I'll email him?"

"Please."  His watch beeped.  "Shit, Star Trek Voyager is coming on and I promised to watch it to explain it to Anya."  He disappeared again.

John shrugged.  "We'll figure it out and I'll send his netbook back to him in a few hours."  He stared at Rodney.  "I'm still very much mortal.  I'm not that hard to kill.  It's just been a while since anyone got real close to it."

Rodney stared at him.  "A river goddess I did not expect."

"Well, my father's a healer."  He smirked.  "I'm the family disappointment."

"Do not talk about yourself that way," a female voice said from outside.

"Mom, go away," he called.  "Please?  We're Marines and they'll try to shoot you."

"Dear, I'll fuck them all and make them happy sorts who sing around campfires," she said dryly, stepping onto a pier from the ocean.  She smiled at the nearest two.  "Such cute boys."  She pinched them on the cheek and walked past them.  "I'm finding my son John."  They just nodded and clutched their guns harder.  Clearly she wasn't the sort they'd have to shoot even if she was *really* scary.

"I'm so going to need someone to memory charm the city," John muttered.  He walked out to meet her, letting her kiss him on the cheek.  "You should not be here.  I'll have to make everyone forget today."

She stared at him then smirked.  "As long as they don't forget my presents, dear.  Now, tell Mommy all about the cute people."

"Mother, I'm out here fighting a war with the wraith, not picking up boy and girlfriends."

"Shoot.  It'd be nice if you did settle down."  She smiled.  "It can even help my other boy settle down."

"I'm told Freya and Odin stepped into that."

"Pooh."  She patted his hair down.  "You need to let it grow just a tiny bit longer, dear."

"It's fine, Mom," he sighed.  The Marines were all trying hard not to laugh.  "Mom, there's no liquor on the base."

"Bull, dear.  I can smell it from here."

"I don't need to call one of them stepdaddy."  He stared at her.  "Please?  You're making it so they can't respect me."  The gate opened and he moaned.  "And Lorne's resistant," he muttered.

Jensen came jogging back.  "Sorry."  He smiled at John's mom.   "Huge ass issue.  We just had a hive park."  He got something and ran back there.  "Here, artillery," he called.

"Go help them," John ordered.  The Marines fled to help.  Anything to get away from Sheppard's mom.  McKay came down and she cooed over him but yay.  "Mom, I'm not dating him."

"I don't care, dear.  He's adorable and clearly needs the help."

"Mom, you're channeling 'Dite," John quipped with a smirk.

"I know and she's such a sweetheart to help me be miserable about missing our babies."  She straightened out Rodney's hair, even though he tried to duck.  She smiled at him.  "I know you're the one who keeps helping my poor baby get into all sorts of trouble.  If you'd just kill them already, I could find someone nice to set him up with and not pick on your poor, gentle, timid Marines."  She beamed at him.  "Don't you want me to be a happy grandmother?"

"Him having children is a terrifying thought that is going to kill my nerves," Rodney said bluntly.

She giggled and hugged him.  "I like the way you think, Rodney.  I think we can work together to help my baby find someone nice, right?"

"No, him being a slut has led to some very interesting challenges and even a few minorly pleasant matters."

John looked at the gate.  "Why me?" he muttered.  "Chuck, call Jensen to make sure they don't need more help."

"Already did, I'm monitoring it."  He watched as the gate flashed out.  "I didn't do that."  It started to dial.  "That's not them.  The shield won't go up!"

"No, it's not.  Radek!" he shouted.  The gate whooshed open and a snotty looking male walked through.  "Who're you?" John demanded.  "I'm Colonel Sheppard, military commander of Atlantis."

"I am Tarva."

Radek walked in and stared at him.  "Imposters are not welcome here," he sneered.

John's mother looked.  "Yes, he is a dragon, isn't he?"  She looked him over.  "Hmm.  The young thing that just ran past was cuter.  So is this one.  Why are you bothering my son when I just found him?"

"We wish to set up an alliance."

John stared.  "No."  The man gave him a dirty look.  "Because I heard what you did the last time you tried. When you used it to try to hunt down your group and kill them."

"They ran," he sneered.  "They are cowards."

"No, we simply did not want to bother for a world that would be dead within years," Radek said smugly.  "None of us were that willing to die for something so weak."  He said something and the shield went up.  "You are not welcome here.  It was your people that led to the near destruction that meant we were willing to leave.  If you had not been such idiots, things would have been more peaceful."

"In other words, reap what you sow," John said bluntly, glaring at him.  The man stepped back.  "I will let the systems on Atlantis fry you and send you home in a box.  Am I clear?"

"You align yourself with such weak things?" the emissary asked Radek.

"Pookie!" John's mother shouted.  "I need some help, dear."

Xander reappeared with a sigh, dragging two people.  "Here, have some help, Mom."  He glared at the dragon.  "Watch me show up and take the fuck over."

"Alexander," he said, staring in awe.

Xander smiled and hugged his brother.  "He's my big brother."  He beamed.  "Mom wanted a family reunion.  Buffy, Tony, this is a dragon asshole who wants to kill all the people who ran from his party of pitiful communist-like idiots."

"Huh," she said, staring at him.  "He looks dumb and vain.  Like a male version of Cordy's cheerleaders."  She attacked and he tried to throw some magic at her but she had some neat anti-magic spells going.  She kicked his ass and handed him to Tony with a grin.  "All yours so you can find out what's going on for the big guys."  She smiled at Xander.  "He's cute."

"He's my big brother."

John looked at him.  "I'm not dating your friends.  They might dent my prettiness."

"Maybe," Buffy admitted.  She beamed.  "I've dented a few that weren't worthy."

"I'm so setting you up with Ronon the next time we're on earth," John told her.

"Wonderful!"  She beamed.  "Can I kick some more butt?  I have PMS."

"TMI," Tony complained.  "Please?  Before you warp Pepper into being like you?"  He looked her outfit over.  "If people saw Pepper in a skirt like that, they'd drool and I'd have to beat someone."

She pouted.  "I look good in it."

"For a tart," John's mother said.

Buffy glared.  "Lady, I'm the Slayer Buffy."

"That does explain things.  Were you baiting, dear?"  Xander hid his snicker's in John's shoulder.

"No, Mom, she's a fashionable girl from near LA," John said patiently.  "They're like that."  Xander nodded.  "Here, fuss over him.  Freya screwed up his attempted marriage."

She sighed and hugged both her boys.  "You both need to come home."

"Sorry, Mom.  Hellmouth issues await," Xander said dryly.  "Almost every night."

Buffy nodded.  "I'm good but I can't take them all out yet."

"I'm working on something that would disintegrate a vampire," Tony offered.

"Holy water grenade?" Xander asked.

"No, something more practical and less holy, Xander.  I'm thinking thermal instead?  Or maybe radon?"

"Thermal might work but it's mostly behead or stake sort of stuff.  Shrapnel can work.  I've built a few of those."

"When?" Buffy snorted.

"Last month, when we used them on a nest you couldn't get to because your mom needed you."  He grinned.  "And a holy water one."

She rolled her eyes and looked up.  "Why me?"

"Because you need him, dear," the city said.

Xander looked up then at John.  Who shrugged.  "She never talks to me that way.  I'm jealous."  Rodney moaned.  "Mom, we need stuff on ZPM making or to find a few full ones.  Got any ideas?" John asked.

"Well, there's the earth repository but I'm not sure what they left," she admitted.  "And there's got to be the emergency beacon stash here too."

"It is on a sealed planet due to ecological disaster," the AI told her.  "Unfortunately."

"This earth stash?" John asked.  "Can we get to it?"

"It is hidden but I can provide a map."  A printer went off in the office.  "Thank you."

"No, thank you," John said, smiling at the walls.  "We want you to be as strong as we can make you, Atlantis.  We hate it when you're sore or tired."  He ran up to get the print out and came back down.  "Huh.  Three spots."

Tony took it to look at.  "This one is right next to an active undersea volcano," he said with a point.  "The other two are in a deep trench.  What's a ZPM?"

"The funky power source that's void powered," Xander said.  "Ask Rodney."  He nodded at him.

"I've read Doctor McKay's dossier."  Tony smiled.  "I have an offer waiting if you ever want to go private service instead."

Rodney stared at him.  "They're dangerous.  I nearly destroyed a whole solar system trying to make a new one."

"Tell me what you have and I'll see if I can help fabricating one.  After all, I am a genius as well."  He smiled.  "And I'm providing you guys with some repulsor based weapons."

"Can I have a suit?" John asked.

"No.  I was told no suits."

Chuck removed the shield and John walked the ambassador back over before coming back.  "Dial Jensen, they're probably waiting to come back, Chuck."

He did that and nodded.  "Coming through, need medical, sir."  He summoned them and everyone else got out of the way.

Clay walked through last.  "Xander?"

"Mom," he said with a point.  He grabbed Buffy and left.

"I really must dress that girl better," their mother decided, smiling at John.  "He's adorable."

"We dated the same killer bitch."

"Hmm.  Pity.  You know, one of Shiva's daughters is single."

"No, Mother."  The Marines were trying not to laugh.  "Radek, my mother may not drink or I'll have a new stepfather and sibling."

"That is fine," he assured him, walking off shaking his head.

Jensen sniffed then looked at him oddly.  "Ambassador," John said.

"I'll warn someone," he decided, walking off to write an email.

Clay shook his head.  "I don't wanna know."

"Probably true," John agreed.  "Major, are you injured?"

"Just pissed off, sir."  He looked over.  "She's cute, sir."  He grinned.

"She's my mother, Major."  Evan gave her a sheepish look.

"Every woman should be thought of as beautiful sometime in her life," she said, pinching him on the cheek from across the room.  "I'm sure your mother is very proud of you, dear."  She looked at her son again.  "Get your brownies and let's talk somewhere less crowded.  You know I don't like the sight of blood, dear."

"Um, yeah.  Guys, we'll be on the west pier."  They all nodded.  "Major, come debrief after medical.  Or you, Colonel.  Or both."  He got tossed the brownies by Chuck, who was grinning, and walked her off before she could do any more damage to his reputation.

"She's worse than Rosenburg," Clay muttered, cracking Tony Stark up.  "Major?"

"Give them a bit to talk, Colonel."  He smirked.  "It's not often someone's mother shows up.  We've only had McKay's sister and his doppleganger from another reality show up."

"That's gotta be weird."  He helped the medics lift people and take them to the infirmary.  He came back to find Radek pouting.  "Got anything to drink, Doctor Z?"

Radek smiled.  "I should not while she is here.  Was a direct order not to get into bunker."

"Thanks," he said quietly, going to get himself and his team some.  They'd invite the Major's team over later.

Jensen walked into the infirmary ten minutes later with his netbook, file open.  "Major, was it one of these sort of things that bit you?" he asked.

Evan looked and pointed.  "Looked like that only yellowish fur?"

Jensen grimaced.  "That's a changer, Major."

"Like werewolf?" he asked quietly.

"Less moon oriented, more oh shit oriented.  Neural response to change sort."

"Bad?"

"Feral the first few times?  Yeah."

"Am I ...contagious?"

"Oh yeah."

He walked over to tell the doctors that and that one other had been bitten.  Cougar had gotten it on the leg and they were treating the bite now.  "Any way to rinse it out, Jensen?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  Let me ask John."  He jogged out to find John.  "John, yellow furs bit Evan and Cougar."

John stared at him.  "They're here?"

"They're originally from here.  Is there any way to rinse them out?"

"No.  The virus is full blown within seconds."  He considered it.  "All right, we'll provoke the first change later.  Then sedate the hell out of them.   If I remember right, it takes an average of ten changes to get used to it and not go feral."

"Got it."  He went back in there.  "Major, we're going to be making you go grr and then tranqing you until you're used to it.  John said it'll take about ten times."

"Shit," he muttered.  "I hate medical solitary."

"Huh?" Doctor Keller asked.  Jensen let her see that file.  "That's not realistic."  Jensen manifested a few scales, making her go pale.  "I've never seen that."

"You won't see it again," he assured her.  He looked at Cougar, who nodded once.  "You can get control.  Usually it's the pain the first few shifts that drives you feral."

"How much will it hurt?" Evan asked.

Jensen stared at him.  "You don't want to know."  Evan nodded.  "We can do it later.  You'll need more food than usual.   You'll be burning energy for the next few days."

"I'll have meals sent up," one of the nurses said.

John walked in.  "Guys, I've got the wraith cells set up.  It's going to be real tough that first time.  I'm really sorry but it has to be done so you guys gain control."  They both nodded.  "I'm really not liking this," he told Evan.

"I got bitten when they threw us in the cell and the thing attacked," Evan admitted quietly.  "I thought we killed it but it leapt out to get Cougar as he was helping Steve up."  He sat on the bed.  "What sort of trigger?"

"Fear, rage, or Hulk reasons," Jensen told him.  That got a nod.  "John, can your mother do things like a priestess would?"

"Yes."  He went to talk to her.  She agreed to help, knowing it was important.  They got them stitched up and down there, in their boxers only.  The cells were chilly but they wouldn't mind in a few minutes.  She stared at Evan, tripping his.  John tranqed him as soon as he finished changing and tried to lunge at them.  She had to stare longer at Cougar, who shuddered a few times.  Jensen got hit by one of the Marines thanks to Clay and Cougar growled, changing and lunging at the same time.  John shot him too.

"Now I know how to ease that next time."  She stroked them both over the head.  "They'll be fine, boys.  It won't take either very long to get used to it enough to stop going feral."  She smiled at Jensen.  "You're a very good fireling, dear."

"Thank you, ma'am."

She patted him on the cheek.  "Go eat.  They'll be out for an hour or so."  They left them alone.  She sat her boy down to talk to him.  She even offered to ask some of their war gods for tips.  She wanted her elder son *home*.

***

Tony Stark walked out of the stargate and looked back at it then at the ogling generals.  "Hi."  He walked up there.  "I have some really good ideas, O'Neill.  I also have an eyes only report from Sheppard for you only."

"I'm in charge," Landry said.

"This goes outside military matters, General Landry.  It's personal issues and you're not cleared by SHIELD to know about them.  I can ask if you can be read in."  He looked at O'Neill, handing over the sealed envelope.  "Also, I have six good plans going.  We talked about the ZPM issue and I think I know what the problem he had was.   I heard how you managed to cobble one together by accident and I'm pretty sure I figured out how to do it on purpose instead."  He smiled.  "If I'm right, we can use something like my Arc Reactor core to make a new one."

"Seriously?" Jack asked, staring at him.

"Yeah, this newly improved model...  Yeah.  I'm fairly certain and it'll be easy and safe enough to test.  Won't do more than blow up a building."  Jack smiled.   "Someone nicely made the Marines forget things.  And McKay."

"How did you get up there, Mr. Stark?" General Landry asked.

"I had some supernatural help."

"That doesn't exist."

"Then you go to Sunnydale," Jack quipped.  "Yes it does."

"And you know it does because your former posting got all the open projects from a group called the Initiative, who were in Sunnydale, General," Tony said dryly.  "I'm well aware of the people who shut them down and why."  Landry stepped back, looking pale.  Tony stared at him.  "Something like that got me there to help with an issue that was partially diplomatic in origin."  He looked at Jack again.  "Want me to mock up tester models or want in from the get go?"

"I'd like to look over the plans but I'm not going to change anything until we see some tests.  You'll fix things if they don't work automatically."

"I would, yes."  He smiled.  "By the way, she's home now."

"Good!  Them?"

"In control."

"Even better."  He tucked it into his shirt pocket.  "I'll see if there's something we need to do about it."

"Actually, they're in a good area to train that new gift.  A lot of open spaces to roam."

"Good point.  I'm sending someone to do a full work up though."

"I think that was expected, General."  He stood up.  "Let me go make people quit panicking."

"Dawn thought you had been taken to Thor's people."

"No, they drink too much and if I drink too much I get stupid."  He smirked.  "I know better.  Pepper will kick my butt, suit or not."  He walked around them and left.  "See me next week, Generals."

"Beam him back to Stark Enterprises," Jack said quietly.  Landry called to have that done.  He looked at his successor.  "There's a species up there that relates back to the werewolf mythology we have down here."

"Are they dangerous?"

"Yes and feral at times.  Apparently the ones who had captured Major Lorne's team had one in captivity that was starving.  The major and one of the new team got bitten.  They've worked out enough so they're back on stable ground.  They can change at will without going feral themselves.  This is not going in any file anywhere because the NID will want to dissect them.  That would get a lot of people destroyed."

He stared at him.  "The other information in the report is higher than my clearance level.  I only know because some things got slipped to me by Sheppard and a few others.  This is all personal information and I doubt it'll be getting any further than I am."  He took out the letter and burned it in the coffee tray.  It was metal, it'd hold it well enough.  "I'll arrange for someone decent to look the two over, just to make sure they're healthy and it's not hurting them.  For now, leave them alone."

"If they're dangerous...."

"They're not.  They have full control now.  They do need to train it and there's a lot of empty worlds with woods up there for them to work in.  It'll be easier than doing it down here in a national park where anyone could see them."

"I ... that makes sense," he decided.

"I'm calling one of Janet's people.  She knew all about the weird we get into."  He walked off to make that call from the main office.  SHIELD probably already knew from Stark.  So they'd handle it.  And hide it.  Landry could fume and fuss but there was no way they were getting free.

***

Clay watched as Jensen changed down and Cougar changed down to track him through the woods.  They faded too, letting Cougar learn how to track in his new furry form.  Cougar was having problems with Jensen but not humans so they had to get him used to tracking non-human things.  Wraith tracking was a necessary skill up here.

Jensen heard the gate whoosh and snorted when he smelled other team.  Lorne was there.  He looked down from his hiding spot, staring at Cougar.  Who padded off to pounce Clay into some mud.  It was a legitimate torment for being a dumbass last night.  Jensen flew off, finding a pretty nice perch in the sun.   He stretched out and basked, belly up, for a while.  He felt a cold nose and looked, patting Evan on the nose with a wing.  Then he went back to basking.  Evan barked a keening sounding wail of a bark and ran off.  Cougar followed.  Jensen sighed in pleasure.

Pooch walked over, drizzling some oil over him.  "So no one has to oil your tiny ass later."

Jensen stretched and purred, then flipped over and went to full size with a smirk for him.  "What?  I'm not just tiny."

"Damn," he said, staring at him.  "I know you said room sized...."  Clay and the others walked over.

Jensen stared at the other team.  "What?"

"Figured," one said then shrugged.  "This is Pegasus.  If you got infected with something that changes you into a dragon, I'm not all that shocked.  Does the colonel know?"

"I found out when we got up here," Clay said dryly.  "He can't do it on earth."

Jensen nodded.  "True, it's really hard to manifest more than a few scales on earth."

"So... you guys are on earth?" that one asked.

"Kinda.  We're kinda refugees since the dark ages.  That ambassador that showed up?  His kind created a political coup so we all left them to the world they were trying to destroy."

"Wow.  Okay, so you're a dragon naturally."  Jensen grinned and nodded.  "Are there others on the city?"

"I haven't really been invited to any 'come oil our scales together' events," Jensen said dryly.  "We're social beings but I think if there are they're desperately hiding it."

"You guys need oiled?"

"Yes, otherwise we get itchy spots.  Colonel, there's one just behind where my knee's resting.  Please?" he begged.

Clay took the oil and poured some on the scratched looking spot.  "Better?"  Jensen sighed in pleasure and put his head back down.  "How did you get scratched?"

"No clue."

"You need to do some scale maintenance anyway," Pooch said.  "You have a few bent ones."

"Cougar didn't lose the bet," he complained.

"Hell, I'll try," one of the others on Lorne's team offered.  Jensen grinned.  "Just oiling you?"

"Scale brushing with the oil," Cougar said.  "Clipping bent pieces."  He looked.  It had clearly been a while.

Jensen sniffed.  "Shit."  He changed back suddenly.  "Hi, Doctor McKay, hi, Colonel."

"Boys," John said with a grin for him.  "You're too pale."

"I know.  But we have gross food."

"Good point.  Have something shipped, Jensen."

He nodded.  "There's some on the ship."  He smirked.  "Including a pint of ice cream.  I had them all cryo frozen before being shipped up."

"I don't want to know," Rodney sighed, shaking his head.  "What was that?"  Jensen looked clueless.  "I saw you change back."

"I'm not a furry," he said dryly.  "Did you get bitten by something?  Pooch and Cougar are really decent field medics, Doctor McKay.  They'd probably check it for you and radio for one of the mean ass docs we have."  John was snickering into a tree shaking his head.  "I'm sure we would."

"No, I'm quite sure I wasn't bitten or poisoned by anything and nothing strange made me see a huge lizard-like being."

"Hey!  I'm not a lizard!"

"Change," Clay ordered.  Jensen sighed but did down to his smaller form.  It was less intimidating and Rodney couldn't poke him as much.

Rodney stared then hit John as hard as he could on the arm.  "You knew about them!"

"Yeah, I've worked with a lot of the refugees.  Jensen, you really need some red meat soon."

"Ship's coming in a few days."

"Uh-huh.  Colonel, try to get him some red meat tonight?  Even if something has to hunt and kill it for spit cooking."  He looked at Cougar, who everyone had noticed was highly overprotective of the young hacker.

"Hunting sounds nice," Evan admitted.  "I could use some meat too."  He changed.  Cougar followed and Clay followed to make sure they saved Jensen some.

"Wait for me," Jensen called, flying after them.

Rodney's mouth flopped open, staring at the flying dragon thing that the hacker had become.  He was even making little squeaky noises.

"I think his brain broke, sir," one of Lorne's team said, hurrying after the others.  "If we bring down something like a deer, we'll bring the rest back."

"Please do."  He smiled, turning to watch Rodney's brain adjust.  When the squeaking noises stopped he cleared his throat.  Rodney stared at him.  "Are you back?"

"He...."

"Yeah, he's a dragon."  He shrugged.  "They can all fly as long as their wings aren't damaged."

"Does... do our doctors know?"

"No clue."

"How many are on earth?"

"A good nine-tenths of their people fled the coup but only half ended up on earth.  That was about six hundred when they first showed up and that was two generations ago."  Rodney finally got to close his mouth and swallow his drool.  "Before you ask, you can't ride on them.  They're not strong enough."  Rodney nodded once.  "They can carry you though."

"No thank you."   His brain was still rebooting.  "They're native of this galaxy?"

"Yes.  That's who that ambassador was."

"Do they want to go home?"

"Not that I've ever heard."

"Is that one of the gate addresses that's locked out for being dangerous?"

"Yup."

"Shit."

"There's one with other sorts of shape changers as well."

Rodney moaned, turning to kick a tree a few times.  "Do Ronon and Teyla know about them?"

"I know Ronon knew about the shape changers."

Rodney slumped, shaking his head.  "So this is where those myths started."

"No.  There's some native werewolf species on earth," John said with a grin.  "Some find control, some don't want it."  Rodney stared at him.  "There's also pelt hunters and things to kill them."

Rodney shuddered.  "Are vampires real or just wraith distorted?"

"Real.  Over sixteen species the last I heard.  You'd have to ask Xander about that."  Rodney shuddered harder.  "Not my fault."

"Uh-huh.   How is he part Norse when the Asgard are really aliens?"

"Who said that they're the only ones that took those names?  Or that his relatives weren't there first and the Asgard took on their names?"

"Oh, damn.  Do they know that?"

"No clue.  Didn't ask Hermoid."

Rodney rubbed his forehead.  "I have a migraine."

"I know."  He patted him on the back.  "Hopefully we'll have some deer to bring home tonight.  Then you can do all the tissue testing for germs you want so we can have a decent dinner."  He was keeping a light tether to check on the teams.  They had just run into a group of deer-like things.  "I say we take some of these unpopulated planets and put some of our animals on them.  Maybe a few deer and a few higher predators to keep them in check.  One with cows and chickens."

"I'll talk to O'Neill about your Farmer John delusions," he sighed.

John held up a hand, concentrating on them.  The sound of guns went off.  Rodney winced.  One started to get away but Evan pounced on it.  Cougar followed.  They both killed it and then stared at it for a minute.  They shared a look and apparently decided it was fine.  "We have meat."  Rodney huffed but walked that way.  John followed to guide him.  "Good work, guys."  He smiled at Evan and Cougar.  "Missed a few spots cleaning."  Jensen changed and poured from a canteen into a spot for them to wash their muzzles off with.  "Let's get all but that one back to the city for testing."  They nodded, blooding them there.  "Colonel Clay, are you guys going to camp tonight?"

"We were," he agreed.  "Give them time to roam and learn how to track Jensen.  I figured it could help with wraith tracking."

"Wraith stink," Cougar said bluntly.

"A lot," Evan agreed.  "It's hard to distinguish *one* out of the group but they stink a lot more than a troop stuck in a desert tent for a week would."

"Good," John said with a grin.  "Have fun, boys."  They got a jumper sent for the deers.  Rodney was already taking tissue samples so they could test them for diseases.  John flew them back and let the deers be taken down to the kitchen to be dressed until they could finish the sample testing.  A few hours later, John came over the loudspeaker.  "People, Colonel Clay and Major Lorne's team ran into some deer so we have fresh meat for dinner tonight," he announced.  Everyone, even the vegetarians, ran to get dinner.  That would mean the vegetables were done better than simply mashed for a change.

Back on the planet, Clay and Pooch had set up a nice large fire and a spit system.  They had done this before on ops.   The other team was pulling larger logs out to set on fire around them so nothing would get near them for the food or to kill them.  The area was cleaned up so the fire wouldn't spread and then started.  Cougar and Evan finished field dressing that deer and spitted it.  Jensen started the spit turning and it was decent.  They could camp and romp tonight in peace and quiet.

"Almost makes you miss Central America," Pooch said quietly.  Clay smirked at him.  "Trees, quiet, less bugs are nice though."  He took his turn rotating the spit.

"Definitely less bugs," Clay agreed.  They got to work on the tents.  It was a pretty night but you never knew when rain or anything like that would come out of nowhere.  Especially around here.

Jensen took one of the cooked to 'rare' legs off to eat in dragon form.  He really had needed a good feeding.  Now he could nap off the meat and bones.  Not like any predators were going to attack him in his larger form and all the poisonous stuff wasn't dangerous to him.  Outside this one ant that kept trying to get under his scale and that one he had to fight to get but ate it too.  It was tasty.

***

Evan and Cougar looked at each other, shrugging a bit.  Cougar nodded.  Evan grimaced but nodded then shrugged again.  They moved to talk to the group.  "Guys?" Evan asked.  They all stared at him.  "Our furrier sides are pushing to bite you guys for some reason."

"Of course Cougar would when he got steady enough," Clay said simply, shrugging some.  "Pooch wanted to put some sperm up first."

"Wouldn't matter," Jensen called.

"You sure?" Pooch called.  "The baby won't come out furry?  Jolene would freak out."

"No, the baby has a half chance," he admitted.

"So I'll store some first," Pooch told Cougar, who nodded that was reasonable.  "If Roque...."  He shut his mouth.

"Yes, he could be," Jensen called.  "I'm not sure about Xander though.  Or John.  Totally different peoples."

"Where did Roque come from?"  Jensen looked over at him.  "Never mind.  Lower, upper?"

"Mid down to the tip."

"That makes more sense than him being Norse."  Cougar smirked at that.

"John's mother is a pisser," Evan said dryly.  The others all smiled and nodded.  "But sweet."

"Very," Clay agreed.  "Not quite insane enough for me though."  Pooch cackled, shaking his head.  "She's not."  He took over spit turning duties.  "Whenever you're centered enough, Cougar, so we can make plans.  Unless it'll keep us from being killed in the field.  Cougar nodded and settled in.

"I'm giving you guys that option," Evan told his team.   "We're not like that team."

"You're more sane," Clay agreed, cracking Jensen up.  He pointed at the dragon, giving Cougar a pointed look.  Cougar shrugged.  " Jensen, can he turn you?"

"No clue."

"Okay.  Find that out."

"Yup, sure can.  I already sent an email back."

"Thank you.  Just in case one of us has to try to save one of the ones on base."  He looked at them, getting shrugs back.  "Just think about it, guys."  They all nodded.  Evan sat down to nibble some of the meat that was done, taking the spit.  "Jensen, can you breathe fire?"

"Yup, sure can," he said smugly.  "Meat's nearly done though."  They got it down and onto the tarp Clay had pulled out.  That would keep it off the ground and they could use it to cover any leftovers from any bugs.  "Damn ants!" he complained, digging at another spot.  "Pooch, did you have to use cooking oil?"

"All we have, Jensen."

"Damn it."  He changed and came back over to sit near them.  "I've got some on the ship."  He grimaced.  "My sister was more than happy to hear that I needed some.  She thinks I'll never get a nice nest mate otherwise."

"Are any of you on the city female?" Evan asked, looking at him.  Jensen shrugged.  "Seriously?"

"I haven't met everyone on the city, Major."

Evan considered that.  "Have you smelled any of them?  Because I heard you guys go into heat."

"Only the females and I...  I think there's one but I'm not sure.  I have smelled a female but I think she's older."

"Cooking staff?"

"No.  Not that old.  I think she's in one of the sciences we haven't had to talk to."

"So botany, the greenhouses, or oceanography," Clay said.

"Or crypto-zoology.  I've only meet two of them over the yellow furs," Jensen said.

"One male is," Cougar said quietly.  "I smelled him, he came to check on us."

"Pierson," Evan agreed.  "That sweet smelling...."

Jensen smirked.  "That's not one of us.  That's another sort of changer.  If it's sweet smelling to you, it's an earth were of some sort."

"Shit," he muttered.

"Eggbert," another of his team sighed, shaking his head.

"Probably.  Or he's reacting that way because of it," Clay agreed.  "Guys?"  He looked at his two special ones.

"Eggbert," Jensen agreed.  "He's young but he's in control.  I talked to him when I found him watching you two during your feral times."

"If you find that female, let us know," Evan told him.  "Just in case she goes into heat."

Jensen nodded.  "Birth control shots work on us too, guys."

"Really?"  Jensen nodded.  "So she can hold it off for a few years?"

"Yeah.  My sister's done that for a while now."

"Huh," Evan said.  "Good to know."  He considered it.  "So Keller or Biro wouldn't even have to know."

"Nope."  He snatched a piece to nibble on.  "Nicely cooked, guys."  They all smirked at him.  "Thanks."

"The stalking was really a good workout," Evan said.  Cougar nodded and rubbed his shoulder, getting a grin from Evan.  "Wrenched?"

"Just sore."  Jensen shifted closer to check the range of motion, getting a wince.

"You stretched wrong during the shift?"  Cougar nodded.  "It looks like you almost dislocated it during the change.  Rest it for now."  He pulled out an instant cold pack and opened it, putting it on his shoulder for him.  "You should be fine later."  He got another small piece of meat to nibble.  Jensen's head popped up when they heard the roar.  "That's not a dragon," he said calmly.  He got up and walked out of the ring.  "Stay," he said firmly.  "The thing's fucking huge."  He changed to his bigger size and went to investigate.

He found it and it was combative too.  It was a huge bear.  Jensen had learned how to fight as a dragon youth but he didn't get to practice much.  Still, a bear wasn't that bad.  He did get a scratch on his wing membrane but that was easily healed.  The bear lost his eyes for that.  And then his head.   Jensen flew that back and dropped it then came back for the rest.   He didn't smell any cubs so that was fine.  It was a male.  He landed with the rest of the corpse and changed once it was on the ground.  "Huge ass sucker trying to screw a plant."

"Change back," Cougar ordered, staring at him.  Jensen sighed but did that, letting Cougar look at his wing.  "Hurts?"

"Tiny bit.  It'll heal just fine, Cougar.  It wasn't in a bad spot.  As long as it heals I'll be fine."  Cougar swatted him and got their first aid kit to put something over the hole.

"Shut up, Corporal," Clay called.   "Or I'm telling Keller."

"She wants to dissect me."

"It's not just you two then," one of Evan's guys quipped.

"Nope," Evan sighed.  "That's why I started to let Biro do mine."

Clay nodded.  "I hate the woman for being a mean hack but something seems wrong to me about Keller."

"Maybe she's possessed," Jensen quipped.  "Ow!"  He batted Cougar with his wing.  "Quit pulling."  Cougar glared and went back to taping down the bandage.  Jensen resorted to something he knew Cougar hated.  He licked him.  Cougar jumped back swearing in Spanish.  It let Jensen change and grin at him.  "I told you to quit pulling."  He sat down.  "So anyway, think they want some bear meat?"

"Crypto-zoology might," Evan said dryly.  They got up to field dress it away from the camping area.  They didn't want the dripping blood to bring bugs or anything.

Clay spotted a bug and shot it.  "Bugs."

Evan looked.  "Iratus."  They packed up and put out the fires.  The bear got carried back by Jensen.  Everyone else headed at a run for the gate.  They came through and Jensen threw the bear through before changing and following.  "Found an iratus."

"We'll mark it, Major," Chuck said, looking cheerful.  No one had gotten bitten so it was a good day.  "I've called biology and cryto-zoology to come get the bear."  He counted and shut down the gate.  "We all here?"  They nodded.  "Put your stuff down so I can put a shield around it."  They did that and he put one down.  They'd have to have guys in hazmat suits go over everything to make sure the bugs couldn't bite anyone.  John jogged in with the biologists.  "Bear, sir."

"Huge bear," he said, staring at it.  "Damn."  Clay snickered.  "Why the early return?"

"Spotted an iratus," Evan said.

"Good job not getting bitten, guys."  He smiled.  "Do a full work up," John ordered.  The biologist got it beamed to the lab for dissection and notating.  "Go shower and check for any bites."  Jensen was scratching.  "Bug?"

"Ants."

"Shower," he ordered with a point.  They went to do that.  John looked over the pile of packs, spotting something moving.  "We have at least one."

"The rest of dinner's in there," Clay called back.  "It's in a purple tarp."

"We can check there for them first," he decided.  The threat assessment team showed up to clear their gear with the stuff they found could gas an iratus bug.  "There's some meat on a purple tarp."

"Good."  They gassed that area first and moved it to a separate part of the quarantine field. More bugs came to get at it.  "They're very lucky they didn't get bitten."

"Yeah, they are," John agreed.  "Which would suck a whole lot."  He walked off, leaving them to their jobs.  "Chuck, mark it."

"Already have, Colonel."

"Thank you."

***

Colonel Ellis showed up with his shiny space battle cruiser.  He looked at the waiting people.  "Which one of you is Jensen?"  Jensen beamed at him, bouncing forward.  "How did you get them that frozen?"

"Cryo frozen."  He beamed. "They'll last until I unfreeze them here.  Were they a problem?"

"No," he admitted.  "We might have to try that for later shipments so tell McKay how it goes."

"Of course.  He'd have to help me set the machine."  He took his three boxes of stuff, walking off.  Rodney got his own things and followed once they were in his room.  Jensen was waiting on him with the box of frozen things.  He let him see.  "I can even give you a pint," he said quietly, glancing around.

"Yes, you will be."  They brought the box down to the cryo room and set one of the empty pods to unfreeze it.  Now it was normally frozen and Rodney did take some of the Ben and Jerry's.  It didn't take too much energy, barely more than a few seconds was easy enough to handle.  Rodney took two of the steaks too.  Jensen got the rest back to his room and the mini fridge he had been assigned.  They could cook out later and once they were out of the boxes, things were tightly packed in that little freezer area.  The other two boxes had sodas and coffee stores.  His sister sent pictures and a letter too.  She understood fully why he wanted a lifetime supply of coffee if they didn't have any up there for weeks on end.

Clay knocked then walked in.  "Coffee?  She sent you a full box of Folgers?"

"Have you noticed we run out an awful lot up here?" he asked dryly.  "Everyone who drinks coffee has their own personal stash.  And it's not a full box."  He pointed at the two boxes of candy bars with a grin.  "My niece was selling them for the soccer team."  He opened up the other box and it was full of things he might need.  Scale polish and a new brush.  Nail polish for scale dying.  A lot of neat things between three cases of super caffeinated soda and more candy.  "Hey, she raided the really late holiday candy tables.  I got a shitload of candy canes."

He put them aside.  Clay took one to suck on as he walked off shaking his head.  Jensen sat down to look over the scale polish.  It was the brand he had asked for.  Some of them were fish oil ones and they stunk or there was one that was coconut oil that made him itch and twitch for days.  She had gotten him the good kind.  Her letter said she had blown a paycheck on all this so he had better be happy.  She had gotten it out of his account already so don't worry about paying her back.  He wrote back a letter to go on the ship and took pictures of the guys for her, against a wall so nothing classified could be shown.

Ellis saw them and approved the letter, letting him pack it away for shipment back.  "Candy canes?" he asked, spotting Clay.

"Yeah, my sister bought out the really leftover candy table."  He grinned.

"At least they won't go stale."  He shook his head.  The kid was just freaky at times.

***

Jensen was sitting on a pier painting some of his leg scales with the nail polish stuff when Laura Cadman sat next to him.  "I'm seeing if I like this pattern for a future tattoo," he said at her staring.  She was one who knew about the scaled ones on the city.  He wasn't sure how or why but she was a normal who knew and helped with things like scale grooming.

"Huh."  She took the bottle to look over, doing her nails with it.  "How hard is this stuff?"

"Very.  It has to live up to scale movement and use."  He grinned.  "I have purple."

"Nah, green goes better with the BDU's."  She smirked and he grinned back.  "Who does explosives on your team?"

"Roque did but he kinda turned on us," he said absently.  "Clay misses him like hell though because he was our S-I-C and they argued like lovers at times."

"Sad to hear that."  She checked.  "It dries really fast."  Jensen nodded.  "Some starlets would kill to have some of this stuff.  They'd be able to go a full week without having to retouch."

"It's a bitch to get off," Jensen admitted.  He grinned.  "It won't chip off either.  It may peel but it'll come off in one large chunk."

"Good to know.  How do you get it off?"  He nodded at the bottle.  She looked it over.  "I've seen some of the cheaper polish removers this strong."  She put some on a cotton ball from the bag and cleaned up around one nail.  She had to really scrub.  That stuff did not come off at all.  If it lasted that good, she might tell a Mary Kay salesman she knew from school about it to see if she wanted to sell that instead.  She watched him finish his temporary tattoo.  "Bit messy."

"Yeah, I'm doing it upside down."  He shrugged.  "It's cool though.  I do it this way to see if I want to see something there every day."

"Makes sense to me.  I know ones who do henna for the same reason."  She got up and helped him clean up his small mess.  "C'mon, it's time for dinner."

Jensen grinned.  "Deer stew I heard."

"Yeah.  How many deer did they get?"

"Five, six."

"Damn.  Well, at least we had plenty."  They put the mess into his room and then went to dinner.  Radek looked at the polish then gave Jensen an odd look.  "He said it's pretty strong."

Radek nodded.  "Has survived combat on scales," he agreed quietly.

"Then it definitely won't chip on mine," she said happily.  They settled in to eat the nice stew.  The vegetarians, and a lot had switched after their first month up here, got the sauteed veggies instead.  They liked that and it was a happy night.

***

Xander looked around the area he was standing in.  He was back 'home' for a bit to check on his people.  They had told him to go play on earth while he was still young, that they didn't need him yet.  He stared at the clan chieftain.  "Elignor."

"Alexander."  He shook his hand.  "Have you found a better mate yet?"

"I nearly married one but Freya was involved."

"Pity."  He walked him back to show him around.  They were prospering well enough and things were going well.  "As you can see, we're not being attacked yet."

"That's good.  You know you only have to get me and I'll be here."

"I know, lad."  He patted him on the back.  "We'll do what we can."  Xander grinned.  "It might be years yet."

"I hope so.  I've been working with a slayer."

"One of those girls who goes after the misborn?" he demanded.  Xander nodded.  "Well, at least you're getting some exercise in.  Can't be many battles."

"We have yearly apocalypse battles."

"I have a few young I could send.  They could use the excitement."

"There's a military program that could use them.  If you send them at Thor, who is in exile with some of them, he can talk to the people helping him and they can get them into it."

"I'll talk to them about that.  It could only help."

"The tiny Supposed Ones had that ring."

"I heard."

"The humans have the ring now."  The chieftain moaned, shaking his head.  "The humans have managed to protect us all from the Snaked Ones, but there's other enemies out there."

"Then I shall definitely tell them to talk to the ones keeping Thor out of people's hair."

Xander grinned.  "They won't even let him get into real battles or flirt with multiple women.  Or drink."

"Hmm, a good punishment I heard the All Father used then."  He clapped him on the back.  "Come drink with us.  It has been long since you've had a proper meal I'd bet."

"All too long," he agreed, sitting down with the ones he knew to share stories and eat with them.

***

Two days later, Xander showed up at Valhalla, glaring at the sneers.  "Their village was attacked," he told the door guard.  "Let us in."

"This is for warriors...."  He choked when Xander kicked him in the head and it snapped his neck back.

Xander opened the doors.  "Inside, children."  They walked in.  "All Father!" he shouted.  Valkyries came running.  "The village was attacked by Giants.  There's some hiding but their hiding area got found and trashed," he told the head one.  She nodded and led them to the kitchen to warm them up and get them something to eat and drink.  Xander turned and found Odin waiting.  "The Frost Giants attacked them."

"Damn," he muttered.  "Are they alive?"

"Some.  Some are still able to hide.  There's only three giants left and I'm about out of arrows.  If I could have some?"

"I'll send some warriors with you, Alexander."  He patted him on the head.  "We'll watch over the children for you."  Xander nodded, going to the armory.  Odin dispatched some warriors to go with him.  He went to check on the children, who were tired and a few had some injuries being treated.  "They can go into the dormitory," he said quietly.

"Nay, the warriors would be asses to them," the head Valkyrie told him.  "They can bed with the other orphans we have.  Alexander set up a house for them."  Odin smiled and nodded.  "I'll make sure they're fit myself before I hand them over."

"Good plan, daughter."  He patted her on the arm.  The children were staring at him.  "You're safe now.  Rest for now and we'll get you somewhere later."  They all nodded and curled up together near one of the fireplaces, the older kids in the front with the younger behind them.  It was sad that they knew to do that but good to know that they were wary of attack even here.  It made them stronger.

***

Xander reappeared in Sunnydale a week later, looking up.  Then around.  Buffy was staring at him.  "Don't ask.  There was a battle."

"A battle?" she demanded.

"Yeah.  As in a village got trashed because someone wanted to attack them."  She shuddered.  "Huge ass battle with giants."  He stared at her.  "I'm going to go home unless it's *real* important and we need me tonight."

"No.  It's just a normal patrol," she said carefully.  He had been the same way after graduation.  "Go, Xander.  Shower, whatever, just calm down."  He nodded, walking that way.  "I don't want to know if it was the start of another apocalypse."

Willow shook her head.  "I doubt Ragnarok would bother us too much here, Buffy."

"I only heard little things about it, Willow.  How would I know?"  They saw a few demons running past them screaming that 'Alexander was back and has battle nerves'.  "Huh," she said.  She stopped one.  "He's going to calm down."

"Two vampires jumped him, Slayer.  His axe is blessed!"

"He didn't have his axe on him.  It's at the shop," Willow said.

The demon gave her a strange look then stared at Buffy.  "Has a brain sucking creature gotten her?"  Buffy snickered, shaking her head.  "What made him so mad?"

"He said a battle wherever he was guarding."

"I pity them.  They must be gone."  He walked off to warn Willie's if the others hadn't.

Buffy watched more run away from where Xander was heading for home.  They knew he got there when Spike and Anya were the last ones to run.  "He good?" she asked dryly.

"Hell no I'm not going near him in that mood," Anya said dryly.  "The last time, he took out a whorehouse working out his bad mood.  I'd be bruised and sore!"

Spike nodded.  "Not gonna happen," he agreed.  "Pity whoever was fighting against him."

"He said something about giants," Willow said.  "Attacking a village."

"Xander's hereditary duty is to guard a region of villages," Anya said.  "But giants mean Frost or Fire Giants are active and that might be a bad thing.  We should warn his uncle."  She and Spike walked off.  There was a room in the store's basement for Spike and the office couch for her to sleep on tonight.

"Huh, you learn a lot more now about him than we used to know," Buffy said, calling the number she had for Coulson.  "Hi, Agent Coulson.  It's Buffy.  No, oooh, need my help?"  She smiled.  "Well, Xander's in a really foul mood because some giants took out a village he was guarding.  You can call him.  Cool!  Thanks."  She hung up.  "He's going to call Xander."

"Maybe he'll work out his bad mood that way," Willow agreed.

***

Xander appeared without a shirt on.  He was barely out of the shower.  He stared at the huge thing and pulled something out of his pocket, using the key to open a mid-air doorway that hadn't been there before.  "The things you win from poker games with chaos mages," he said at the strange looks he was getting.  He looked up and then selected something, closing it again and pocketing the key.  He opened it and fired at the creature, making it fall back.  Which gave Thor the chance to move ahead.

"Fuck it," he muttered, running forward to jump in.  He bounded over an Agent ducking a blow, using him as a springboard to get higher.  His axe came at his call and it was a pretty mess he was creating.  "You just had to show up when I'm in a bad, pissy mood, didn't you?" he sneered.  "Frost Giants aren't bad enough?"  He took another swing into the giant cyborg's neck.  More sparks.  The giant batted at him and his axe went flying.  Xander summoned it back, letting it rip through the hand on the way.  He shifted and took another hit.

"Get down here!" Thor ordered.

Xander looked down at him.  "I don't take orders from you even in battle, Uncle."  He summoned something else and used it.  That made him jump off before the lightening crashed into it.  Thor was giving him a horrified look.  Xander stared.  Then up and brought down more lightening.  The creature bellowed and shrieked as it fried from the power surge.

Xander used the hammer he had summoned to knock it down.  Thor had his axe, he felt it be picked up, but that was fine.  It wouldn't stay with him.  He summoned his axe back, letting the war hammer hang from his wrist as he swung down into the chest cavity.  "Now blow the hell out of it."  He got out of the way, staring at the man behind Thor.  He dropped the hammer.  "I needed the lightening calling, All Father."

"You need a woman to wear that mood out," Odin countered bitterly.

"Mine ran!"  He shrugged.  "Some daughter of the lineage if she's scared of being worn out!"  He walked around the hammer.  "You two can argue."  He summoned his axe back and put it up.  The agents finished blowing the inside of the robot up.  He looked at the All Father.  Then he shrugged at the dirty look the single eye was giving him.  "It was necessary and I didn't breach your edict by giving it to him."

"No, you did not.  Next time warn us?"  Xander pointed.  "I understand why."

Xander looked around then at him.  "No crows or ravens?" he asked.  Odin swatted him.  Xander grinned.  "You used to have one follow me."

"Yes and they kept reporting all the women you slept with."

"All of them willing," he reminded him.  "Unlike some's."

"True.  This one who thinks that the young warriors could be used down here?"

Xander looked then pointed.  "Talk to him, All Father.  Agent Fury?"  He looked over, glaring at him.  "You guys called."

"That cabinet thing?" Fury demanded as he walked over.

"I won it in a poker game against a chaos sorcerer."  He shrugged.  "All Father, this is Agent Nick Fury and he works with a General who works with a project that has an Supposed One's ring."

"Those things are dangerous," Odin told him.

"They've managed it so far," Fury said, glaring at the kid again.

"We have a lot of young warriors who could use the training."

Fury stared at him.  "Really?"  Odin nodded.  "I can ask the general if he'd make room to train them.  They won't get much sword or bow work."

"We know there's better weapons for human battles.  They're not honorable on the field of battle but they'll do for human things."

"Send someone to talk to me in two days.  I have to clean up this mess and I can call him to meet me then.  Our higher ups are worried that we're an alliance that could bring the bad ones down."

"The evil shits who suck demon cock are worried about me just as much," Xander said dryly.  "Sent more people to Sunnydale that weren't SGC too."  He shook his head.  "Pity they ran off."

"Who were they?" Nick Fury asked.

"Area 51 hiding NID weenies and someone who was NSA in charge.  We kindly had their operations trailer moved outside the town and let the demons threaten the hell out of them."  He grinned.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I was calming down from a battle.  Half the demons I ran into ran screaming from me on my way to a shower so I know I stink."  He looked at Odin, who nodded for him to go.  Xander went back to his shower and then a long night with himself and his hand.

Thor shook his head.  "He needs a proper wife.  We should send his mate to him, Father."

"His mate has a chosen one in mind," Odin corrected, glaring at him.  "Leave, Thor.  Let the smart ones talk."

"Yes, Father."  He eyed his hammer but Odin took it before he could touch it.  Thor walked off mumbling something unkind.

"I heard such and if your mother should, she will remind you how a good warrior acts, son."

"We have a young girl helping some of us who call him pouty and spoiled," Fury said with a smirk.

"Aye.  A lot.  Tell me of this ring?"

Fury called.  "O'Neill, beam to where I am.  I'm hearing an offer of warriors for your program."  He hung up.  "Give him a minute, All Father."  Odin smirked and it was barely a minute before O'Neill was there.  "This is General Jack O'Neill.  I work with him on some things."

"I met the little version of Thor, Loki, and you, sir," Jack said.  "Their Loki made me a clone."

Odin burst out laughing.  "Ours might do the same!"  He patted him on the back and walked off talking about the ring and what had come through.  He was impressed with them, and that they had John working on the wraith issue, and said he would send a few who wanted to train that way to him in a few days time.  That one had sense.  It was good for humanity and the other eight realms as well.  He left, going home to report that.

Fury smirked at O'Neill.  "Harris was pissed off."

"I saw the mess."  He stared then at him.  "No weapons?"

"Hell, the kid called lightening.  He somehow had Thor's hammer."

"He probably borrowed it since I'm told his battle axe is his blessed weapon."

"Yup, from what I saw it was."  They shared a look.  "Think he even knows guns?"

"Yeah, I've seen him at the range," Jack said.

"He said there were NID and NSA assholes."

"Oh, I heard," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "That's who was just chewing on me."  He got sent back to tell them that the situation was solved and that they had some beings who wanted to train with them.

***

Xander looked up from his self-relief to find someone staring at him.  "Damn, I could've sworn I locked that."

"You did but it's a shittastic door, Xander."  He moved closer.  "I got sent."

"Figures.  I'm calming down from a battle."  He kept stroking himself.  If Roque wanted to watch him, it would show him what he had missed out on.  "My girlfriend ran because I might make her sore."

"You did the last few times."  He leaned down to kiss him.  "How is my team doing?"

"They're with John."  He moaned and shifted his hips some.  "Jensen said that Cougar got bitten by a yellow fur but he's in full control."  Roque moaned, shivering.  Xander smirked. "Jensen found out he could fully change up there so he's been making people oil him."

"Good," he growled, taking a kiss and climbing down next to him.  "It's been a bad year."

"I'm not your surrogate."

"You're like his son," he said snidely, "but I know that."  He stripped off and helped Xander wear himself out.  They fought for who got on top but Roque clearly was going to win.  Without weapons, Xander wasn't as good as he was.  Plus he needed it.  A lot.  Xander yelped when he bit him on the shoulder to calm him down but oh well.  He breached that tight ass, moaning in pleasure.

"This is nearly as good as our first night together," he praised, riding him hard.  They were both sweaty, hard, needy, angry, and it was the best comfort in the world.  At least until they found real mates.  Roque made Xander come so he could and went limp across the wet, sticky back.  Xander was panting hard.  He pulled out gently and moved to lay beside him.  Xander finally calmed himself and went limp.

"You're on the bottom next time," he said with a yawn.

"You can't beat me, Xander."

"Bull shit."

Roque laughed but let Xander rest against him.  Xander used to cuddle but he had lost that right.  Maybe he had been wrong but Xander needed someone better than him.  He wasn't fucked up enough to need someone like him as a mate.  Roque woke up to find a woman standing at the foot of the bed.  "I got sent to calm him down."

"I know who you are," she assured him.  "You can't keep him."

"We'd never work anyway.  It'd have been a fight to the death on our wedding night, woman."

"Yes, him riding you hard can be just as energetic as a battle."  She smirked.  "Change the sheets when you get out of our bed."  She got her clothes and went to shower.

Roque shook his head.  "I heard his woman was Clay's sort," he muttered.  She left again and he let himself drift back to sleep.  He didn't wake up when Xander tied him down, which was sneaky of his almost-mate.  He woke up to Xander stretching him.  "You still won't win so you might as well get on top," he said dryly.

Xander smirked.  "Shut up, Roque."  He slid in and Roque shifted, wincing some as he adjusted.  "What?  Too big for you?"

"Hell no."  He was working on the ropes.  His former fiancee was going to pay for riding him.  Mostly by riding him a whole different way.  Xander was going heavy and it was fun, it was great, Roque nearly didn't want free by the end, but he had to prove he was on top.  Xander groaned and came, making Roque growl and finally get free.  He hauled Xander up to kiss him and then flipped them both over, pinning Xander underneath him to ride him again.  "Bastard.  Don't leave me hanging.  You'll pay for that."

Xander snickered so he rode him until he wanted a new asshole - the old one was limp, open, and unable to flex.  He pulled out a few times to tease him, taunt him, play with him with other things.  His girlfriend apparently never got all of Xander since she had a lot of sex toys in various sizes, ranges, and vibrators.  Xander howled a few times but otherwise it was just good.  They were both calmed down afterward.  Xander was limp and making soft noises.  Roque kindly turned his head for him so he could breathe easier.  Xander mumbled a 'thank you'.  "You need a good husband," he said in his ear.  "Someone who can ride you hard and put you away wet anytime they want to."

"Still not a wife."

"No, you're a slob and you can't have kids.  But you'd make a pretty consort."  He used his fingers to tease the limp, open hole.  "I would've made sure you'd never take anyone else on our wedding night.  Maybe even brand my sigil on you here," he said, touching his perineum.

Xander looked back at him.  "I know some people get tattoos there but you wouldn't have survived."

"You couldn't stop me," he said smugly.  Xander summoned his axe.  Roque quit playing with him.  "Fine."  He blew a kiss.  "Get some rest, Princess.  You clearly need it."

Xander groaned and sneered.  "You'll get yours.  Remember, I can find you and get there easier."  Roque shivered but didn't look displeased at the idea.  He disappeared.  Xander flipped onto his back, hissing at how sore his ass was. He got up to strip off the bed on his way to a bath.  He needed to soak all the Roque sweat off him.  And out of him.  It might even help him plan how to get him and Clay together so they could talk.  Roque had only slipped once and called him that but then he had punished himself for doing it.  So maybe he'd make sure they were found together.

***

John got sent back to Earth for 'meetings' and mentally swore the whole way.  He ran into Landry in the gateroom.  "Sir, reporting as ordered," he said with a snappy salute and a forced smile.

"At ease, Colonel.  It's not even a lot of meetings this time.  Mostly new personnel choosing and the like."

"That's fine, sir."  He got assigned a room by Walter, the wonder gate tech and the guy who did half of everything non-scientific on base.  He came back to the general's office.  "Sir, new personnel?"

"A few new ones want to join.  Also, O'Neill wanted your opinion on a few who volunteered from a strange area."  He looked at him.  "I wasn't informed from where."

"How would I know then?"

"He'll be here later to talk about them."

"Sure, before or after dinner?  So I know to hold off or not, sir?"

"Before probably."  He smirked, handing over the stack of files.  "They want to transfer over."

"I'll look them over and meet with them if they're on base.  Though I do have to note that we could use a few more medical personnel.  Oh, and the biologists and I worked out an idea.  It's in your email, sir."

"I saw about the species mining."  He stared at him.  "Why?"

"Sir, have you seen the reports on how the native food is disgusting and doesn't always settle well?  We've had to send back six people for not being able to eat anything native.  Even when put through an NG tube it made them puke."

"I had, yes.  And it might help.  We'll consider it."  John nodded and took the files with him.  Landry shook his head.  Farming?  Really?  That was that important to Atlantis?  And how were they supposed to ship herd animals up there?

***

John walked up to Xander the next night and hit him on the arm.  "Ow!  What was that for?" Xander demanded, rubbing it.

"For sending me warriors."  He stared at him.

"You could use 'em."

"I know I could."  He gave him a pointed look.

"They know we use guns."

"Fine.  Thank you."

Xander smiled.  "Welcome."  He moved closer.  "Want to help me get Roque and Clay together?" he hissed.

John shivered.  "Very much so Clay quits picking up the insane women.  Even Jensen hissed at one."

"Roque is definitely his sort."

"Hmm.  How?"  Xander whispered his idea and John smirked.  "He's due back in March.  I'll make sure you have an exact date so you can tempt him that way.  Or simply have him snatched."  He looked around, zatting a vampire staring at them.  "Where's your slayer; I was sent to look over the base here."

"Oh, Buffalonia!" he called sarcastically.

"Quit calling me names, Xander!" she yelled.  She stomped over, staring at the guy next to him.  "Boyfriend?  Anya said she found you in bed with a guy.  Which, by the way, eww."

"That was Roque, who I nearly got married off to.  It was good to work off the post-battle stress with."  He smirked.  "This is my big brother and they're moving his warped, strange, protects us all project, which Fury likes and appreciates, here.  Or at least the training areas.  They want to look over the base."

"I can do that," she decided.  "You're his big brother?  Didn't I meet you where he pulled me that time?"

"We share a mother."  He smiled, walking off with her.  "Heel, Xander."

"Coming."  He followed, shifting to John's side.  "So, how's your Rodney?"

"He's not mine and he's fine.  Huffy again today because Jensen picked on him and wouldn't let him steal a candy cane."  Buffy snickered.  "We're so far out of the way we don't get candy and things, Buffy.  We can't run out to a store or anything.  We get shipments every few months like submarines do."

"I'm so sorry."

"Us too," John agreed.  "We keep running out of chocolate and coffee."

She smiled.  "It could be worse.   You could run out of hamburger."

He looked at her.  "We don't often get hamburger."  She shuddered.  "We get native foods that you *really* have to get used to."

"Eww," she said, looking at Xander.

"What?  I eat plenty well."  He smirked.  "Speaking of, I'm going deer hunting this year."

"Deer are cute and cuddly, Xander.  We don't eat deer."

"It's very low in fat," Xander told her.  "A lot lower than turkey."

"Really?"  He nodded.  "But it can't taste like cow."

"No, not fully but it's red meat.  You had some the other night and didn't know."  She shuddered and gagged.  "That stew you wanted fourths on?  That was deer."

"Wow.  I thought that difference was the seasoning stuff."  She shrugged.  "I'll ask Mom if she wants any."  They walked onto the college campus.  "There's two entries.  One at the frathouse they were using and one in the woods."

"Let's start here if we can get in."  Xander nodded.  John got let in and they went to search the underground base.  "We'll clearly have to change the cells to bedrooms for the grunts," he decided.  "Putting up a door won't be that hard though."  He was taking film as they went.  They checked the other entry.  It had a road and a garage.  That was better.  The command center needed some work, it had old equipment.  It had more than enough room for new team training and was closer to above ground for those that needed eased into underground living.  He looked at Xander, who took him to another area.  "Even Medical."  He nodded and they went back out through the garage.  Buffy got a demon.

Xander cleared his throat.  "This is my big brother John."  The demons stared at him.  "His current project needs a new team training area and I suggested here."

"You're on the mystical city of being eaten," one said.  John nodded.  "You are muchly brave yet very stupid, John."

John smirked.  "I have a lot of good people and we're winning."  The demons all gaped and a few bowed to him.  "We'll be moving some personnel here to train.  That way they don't freak out there."

"Here is much more sane than there," that one agreed.  "We will not bother the base if your kind use it.  As long as the others don't come back."

"I'd so kill them," Xander assured him, mimicked by Buffy.  "See?" he said with a grin.  The demons left them alone.  He grinned at John.  "So?"

"Not bad.  Needs some cleaning and some fixing up.  We can use that."  He smiled at Buffy.  "We'd like an index list of some sort to train our guys in case something does try to attack us or if you need our help for something huge.  We won't patrol or anything but we'll keep ourselves safe."

"Giles should have those books."  She took his arm to walk him off.  She gave Xander a pointed 'get lost' look.  Xander smirked and walked off to get into trouble probably.  "So you're his big brother.  We didn't know a thing about that stuff until recently."

He smiled.  "You guys probably shouldn't have known then, Buffy.  If others hear they can come here to attack him, like they do you."

"Good point."  She pointed out the major areas on the walk back so he knew where they were.  It might give a nice boost to the town and a few more eating-resistant people would be nice too.  She wouldn't have to worry about them.

Plus, hotty guys to hit on who knew about fighting all the time.  That was always the biggest plus in her life.

***

John came back with the new people, finding some older ones a bit more strange.  He stared at Clay.  "Bad day, dear?" he asked dryly.

"Your people would drive me nuts if I had to do your paperwork for much longer, Sheppard.  I always thought Jensen was as strange as the military allowed until I met your scientists and some of the Marines."  He handed him the stack of incident reports.  "Them narking on each other like they're on a playground, for which they all got told to grow the fuck up and settle it like men.  And if the doctors didn't like it, she could suck me because I could use the stress relief."  He handed over another stack.  "Mission reports.  Two actually went *right* and those ones found God for some reason I'm not sure about."  He smirked and handed over the last one.  "The actual 'fucking moron' reports that you need to do something about."

"Thanks for pre-sorting those for me," John quipped.  "Why were they fighting?"

"Radek wouldn't let them in the hooch.  Radek wouldn't let them take a jumper out for a casual dive in the ocean to fish with the shields.  McKay scarred two for life by kissing one of them to prove a point and the other figured out he was human and couldn't take that knowledge.  Keller sedated him for four fucking days; the pussy Marine is no longer on duty and is locked in his room until you can kick his ass.

"Two were because they wanted to hit on the same village girl and got told no by her so they're fighting over who would try to sweettalk her into a blowjob.  Cougar whipped them both for you.  They're really very sorry they're such fuckups.  Six others started a team-on-team brawl for a basketball game," he said dryly.  "As of yesterday they were still fighting so I decided to mix the teams up on an assigned paint job touch up over the side of the piers.

"I told them I didn't care if they gave each other handjobs down there but they were to work that shit out or I'd be cutting the ropes so they had to work together to get back up onto the city.  She giggled."  He smirked.  "Four of the scientists got into a hair-pulling, might as well be a girl fight.  I stood them in corners after the 'grow the fuck up' speech.  Then I let McKay have them after four hours in a corner in the gate room."

He waved a hand.  "Your desk is clear except one *real* discipline report.  The fucking morons in that third section are waiting on you in a room on the west pier, cleaning the building for their meeting with you.  I kindly put an armed guard out there with an energy whip.  Ronon pouted I didn't let him correct any by sparring.  So I told him to work on Cougar and Jensen's hand to hand to see if anything's different."

"Good.  Plans from Cougar and Evan?"

Clay gave him a smug look.  "We did that before you left, Sheppard."  He walked around him, nodding at the new people.  "I'm part of the rescue team.  You'll see a lot of us.  Hope you survive, people."

John snickered.  "It's gotten a lot better since we started," he told them.  "Let me handle this.  Lorne?"  He came down.  "Take them to newbie briefing and orientation."  He nodded, doing that.  John went to look at that one disciplinary report.  Then at the 'fucking moron' section.  Some of those got to go home too.  The 'grow up' section was a lot of stress brawling but it looked like Clay had handled it without tact.  Which he expected.

It gave the guys a thing to look forward to when he got back.  He sentenced them to extra sparring work and the ones not going home in the other section.  He went to talk to Ronon.  He was more than happy to get some new sparring partners.  The ones on the paint jobs were arguing, he could hear them.  He walked out there to look down at them.  "I can cut those ropes just as easily, guys."

"No, Colonel.  We love that you're back!" one said frantically.  He swatted at something.  "We have something with tentacles down here and it really loves me.  Help, please?"

"Come up, get a shower, finish the touch ups on the other piers as ordered."  They all whined.  He smirked.  "Or spar with Ronon."

"Fuck it, I'll take it like an anime character," one whimpered.  "Let me find some lube."

"Wear a diving suit," John ordered.  "I don't want to hear Keller complaining about tentacle injuries and it'll keep you guys from getting too chilly."  He went to find Clay.  "Did you know there was a creature with tentacles?"

"Yup.  He tried to sneak some under Jensen's tail.  He yelped like it was fun and nearly climbed without using his hands."

"Let them wear diving suits."  He walked off grinning.  That was so mean!  He adored that punishment!  He'd have to use it again.

Clay gave Cougar a smug look.  Cougar walked off snickering.  Jake wasn't going anywhere near the water ever again while on the city.

John got summoned into the infirmary an hour later, staring at the huffy, young doctor.  "What happened?"

"He wanted medical lubricant for a *tentacle*!"

"There's a creature helping them do a paint retouch," he said with a smirk.  "I said you could use a diving suit."

"The damn thing thought that it was a full body condom.  Instead of the two little tentacles, I got six huge ass ones petting me, Colonel.  If it's going to get that friendly I want lube!"

"Switch sides."  He hugged him, nearly crying on his way to tell the others.  John walked her out there, letting her climb down.  The tentacles liked her too.  The guys decided heroically saving her would get them back in John's good graces so they all got to move sides of the city.  Keller went to shudder and cry in her office.  She was not an anime girl!  Though it was nice Jensen handed her a candy cane wreath.

"It tried me too," he comforted, patting her on the head.  "It'll be okay."  He walked off.  He found two scientists arguing and cleared his throat.  "The paint touch up crew could use some help guys and Clay offered to let scientists help paint too."  They huffed off.  Later on they'd find out what that really meant and got with biology to find and kill that tentacle creature before it liked them too.

They also signed Clay up to every kink dating website for being so mean to them.  He was clearly warped and needed *something* to help that situation.  Maybe he'd get an idea or some fun out of it.  Or make one of his team role play with him, something!

***

Xander had planned this fun time very well.  He had everything set up.  Clay was back on earth.  He knew where everyone was and where Clay was going on his downtime.  Now he had to get a few things into place.  He shifted into the shadows, going to where Clay was sleeping.  That whole time zone difference came in handy when you were kidnaping people on the other coast.  He used a light sleeping gas he had in his pocket to make sure Clay stayed down and touched him, shifting them both into the shadows and to the room he had set up.  He left a note on Clay's old bed and one on the nightstand under his gun in the new room.

Then he went to get the other one.  Clay would snap awake in about two hours.  So Xander had some time to get Roque back.  He gassed him and snatched him from the marketplace he was in.  He was heavier but it was easy enough.  The room he had rented in the 'play house' in San Francisco was sealed for right now.  Plenty of shadow for him to work in.  He got Roque tied up and chained into the sling.  He made sure he had everything.  He checked on Clay, who was coming around sooner.   So he went back to make Roque happy.

Roque growled when he woke up to fingers in his ass.  "Usually I kill people who try that."

"Payback's a bitch," Xander quipped, smirking at him.  He turned up the lights.  "A whole lot of bitches."  He kept stretching him, making Roque try to shift.  He was well tied down.  "Relax.  It'll make you happier if you relax."

"Xander, I'm going to kill your stupid ass."

Xander stared at him.  "No you won't."  He winked.  "Now, be a good boy and I'll even let you have a lollipop later."  Roque growled.  "Not mine, you might bite me."  Roque gave him a horrified look.  Xander stared at him and hit his prostate, making him swear and growl for a new reason.  "Remember, I am a wonderful planner."  He kept going, paying him back for how hard he had ridden him before.  It wasn't too long before someone picked the lock, walked in, and shut the door.

Clay looked around.  Tied up Roque.  Xander.  A whole bowl full of condoms.  A whorehouse sized pump jar of lube.  A few sex toys and a paddle.  He cleared his throat.

Xander smirked.  "I thought about fisting him for the way he treated me the last time," he said dryly.  "But I thought you might not like that during your talk."  He pulled back and took off his gloves with a snap, smirking at Roque, who was giving him a scared look.   He looked at Clay.  "You two need a real talk."

"Yeah, but this isn't how I imagined it going," Clay admitted.

Xander smirked.  "Up to you what happens, big guy.  By the way, loved the tentacle torture for the idiots."  He blew a kiss and faded out.  He came back.  "You have this room for another eight hours.  Your motel room is yours for the next three days."  He faded again, going back to Sunnydale to congratulate himself for a good job by making Anya squeal in many delightful ways.

Clay locked the door and moved over, staring at Roque.  He was shivering lightly in the chilly room but hard.  A few goosebumps but some drying sweat.  Clay stared at him.  He noticed Roque was still hard.  Maybe John had been right about things.  He shrugged off his jacket.  "Some people noted some things to me," he said, looking him over.  Cockring was a simple snap style.  A nicely wide silver band.  The hole glistened with lube.  Not too much but enough for some good, long fun.  "Especially about why you did something so fucking dumb, Roque."  He stared at him, moving between his feet.  "Were they right?"

"I don't know what someone told you," he started.

Clay yanked on his cock, a hard stroke that made Roque jump and moan, thrusting up to get another one.  "Really?  You sure?"  He stared his second-in-command down.

"I'm not the wife in my relationship," Roque said dryly.

"I think you'll be the wife tonight and then we'll argue over it."  He smirked as he undid his belt and pants, letting them fall.  He stepped out of them, his sneakers, and stood there.  Roque was staring.  He couldn't see much but he was trying very hard.  And speaking of hard, his cock was bobbing.   Clay smirked.  "I'm not really the sort to suck any man's cock."

"As Jensen says 'don't start none, won't get none'," Roque growled.

"I can get any cheap whore to blow me, Roque.  I could walk outside and get six or seven offers I'm sure.  I did on the way in."  That got a more threatening growl.  Yup, that proved it to him.  Clay slid in hard and fast, making Roque try to arch up and push back.  "But I doubt that'll be good on our first night.  Asshole.  You should've told me."

Roque stared at him.  "I'm still not the fucking wife."  Clay pulled back and pushed in even harder, making him moan.  "It's real rare and he had to gas me to get me in here."

"I'll let you go when you beg."  He stared at him.  "For everything."  He rode him hard, fast, and long, making Roque try to come a few times before Clay finally gave in and opened the snap.

"Shit!" Roque shouted, coming hard.

Clay rode him through it, and kept going even though he was more sensitive.

Roque tried to squirm.  "I couldn't take that," he said finally.

"If you had told me what she was, I would've listened.  Don't I always?"  He paused, staring at him.

Roque stared at him.  "It was the last one."

"Yeah, she was."  He slammed in again.  "How many times has Xander had your pretty ass?"

"Twice," he moaned, tipping his head back.  "That wasn't my idea."  He shifted his hips.  "You'd better be wearing a condom."

"Why?  Can I get you pregnant?" he taunted with a smirk.

"My mother's a fertility goddess, Clay."  Clay pulled out and went to get a condom.  "Thank you."

"I knew I didn't have to compete with half the navy," he said dryly as he slid back in. Roque shivered.  "Liking it, dear?" he asked smugly.

"This is going to be *real* rare and you're going to have to make me submit, mother fucker."

"If you're sure you can take me to flip me over," Clay shot back then pounded him for a few minutes before slowing down again.  Roque had his mouth hanging open, he was nearly drooling.  It was a pretty look for him.  "I'm going to have to move up on this topic to the guys."  He pulled out completely.

"Cougar sent me an email telling me if I hurt you he was going to find out how to finish me," he moaned.   "C'mon, it's mean to leave us both hanging."

Clay stared at him.  "What're you thinking, Roque?"  Roque snorted, staring at him.  "A playing thing, a permanent thing?  You gotta let me know.  Because I'm not going to just fuck."

"No," he said quietly.  "You won't ever again.  Let me free and I'll show you."

"I like you like this," he said smugly.  "You make a pretty ugly wife but a damn good one.  Just the right amount of loud."  He slammed back in again, letting his control go.  He gave it to him hard and soft, long and slow and fast, until Roque could only grunt and so could Clay.  Then Clay went over and Roque got a few softer strokes until he followed.  Roque went limp.  Clay pulled out and sat down in the chair in there.  It was conveniently placed near his head.  He caught his breath, staring at him.  "Am I buying you a ring?"

"I have one in mind, it's a family heirloom I'm meant to give to my mate," he said quietly, looking at him.  "We're both fucked up."

"You get pregnant before I retire from the army and you'll see fucked up."  Roque sneered.  Clay smirked back.  "You're going to be taking it a lot.  You have a sweet, tight ass."  He got up to spank it and let the chest strap go.  Then one of the ankle ones so he could get more comfortable.  He sat down again, sprawled out.  He finally took off his sweaty t-shirt and tossed it at his pants and sneakers.  That left his socks but that was fine.  The room was cold and who knew what was on the floor.

Roque looked at the locks.  "Wish I had me some magic," he mumbled, calling just enough to get them open.  When he was free, he stared at Clay.  Who was looking smug.  Like he hadn't seen him undo them.  Roque rolled off the sling and picked up Clay to toss him into it.  It was a struggle but he got one ankle in a strap so that made the rest easier.  A wrist.  Finally the other wrist, even though he was now bruised from a few punches and had a few scratches.  He left that other foot free and got the lube.

"So, wife."  He smirked as he moved closer to get Clay ready for him.  "This is one hell of a wedding night."  He dodged a kick.  That little bit of spice was thrilling to him.  Him putting his feet together just made him tighter too.  Which was sweet.  Clay was nearly virginal so that was good.  Roque got him just enough stretched and slammed in, making Clay moan and tense up.  "My bitch."

"Fuck you."

Roque smirked and rode him hard, making him get loud, try to kick him a few times, but that was what he wanted.  His Clay was volatile.  It was how they worked best.  Clay finally shouted as he came but Roque was having a lot of fun.  He paused in the center, spotting something that had appeared.  He picked them up and came back, putting them on Clay's stomach while he slid back in.  More gently now.  "I'm going to fuck you so hard you go back to Atlantis bowlegged and grinning a silly smile when you have to lean against a wall, boy."  Clay moaned, trying to push him off since he was so sensitive right now, but that was good for Roque.  He bit him on the ankle.  "What the fuck is that taste?"

"Cougar got bitten."

Roque growled.  "You're a yellow fur?"

"Now."  He smirked.  Roque's growl changed, got deeper, more thrilling.  That meant he could ride Clay as hard as he wanted.  His bitch was finally his.  Clay knew that look.  He braced himself but it wasn't enough.  The bar holding the sling still got released so Roque could use the extra swing to get deeper and farther in him.  "Shit!"

"No, you won't be for *days*," Roque promised with a smug look.  "You put that on and I'll let you come."  He kept going, giving him the hardest, nastiest, dirtiest ride in his life.  Clay was whimpering for mercy when he finally put on the ring.  Roque held his hand up, letting Clay put his on him.  The rings lit for a second and the small bond between them snapped into being.  Clay felt the satisfaction, the love, the twisted desires, and knew Roque could feel his.  He came hard.  The ceiling, his chest.  Roque's chest.  Then he went limp and just breathed while his new mate stared at him.

Roque licked over a spot of come.  "You taste good."  He bit him on the stomach, marking him.  Then he pushed in one last time, as hard as he could, getting as far up his mate as he could, and let loose.  Clay whimpered but it felt so good.  Roque pulled out and let him go, flopping into the chair.  Clay took a few tries to get up but he managed it and Roque pulled him onto his lap.  "No more women."

"For either of us.  Or Xander."

Roque shook his head.  "We've only played when it was post battle stress.  Honestly."

Clay nodded.  "I get that need."

Roque stroked the open hole with his fingers.  "Now you have a way to get it out.  Even if you do end up riding my hand some day if you're that bad."  Clay shivered, shaking his head.  Roque smirked, stroking him some more.  "We need a shower.  We stink."

"We do," he agreed.  He looked at them.  They were messy as hell.  Roque pulled him over to kiss him.  "I didn't think you'd do that."

"It's our wedding night.  It has to be sealed with a kiss.  I'm told it's traditional," he said smugly.  He spanked Clay, earning a moan.  Roque got them up and dressed then he went to talk to the house's owner.  He bought that sling and had them pack it with the condoms and lube.  Then they went back to Clay's motel room.  It was a cheap little hole in the wall.  If they broke everything in there on their honeymoon, it'd cost less than two hundred bucks to fix it and later kinky people would praise the new bed.

***

Cougar sniffed Clay when he came back, giving him a pointed look.  Clay stared back.  He looked at the others.  Jensen subtly shrugged while hacking something he shouldn't.  Pooch sighed but stared back.  "I can go."

"Sit and shut the fuck up," Pooch ordered, looking at Cougar.  Cougar growled but let it go.  "Jensen?"

"I can sit on him and squish him or light him on fire," he quipped with a smirk at his monitor.  "Your wife can help him get used to waiting at home with a butt plug and making cookies for us I'm sure."

"That's a bad image the Pooch *never* wanted to see," Pooch complained.  Cougar nodded and swatted Jensen.  "When are you two going to hook up?"

"We're dangerous to each other," Cougar told him.

"Huh?"

"The bite of the other can drive us insane," Jensen explained.  "The only time it happened, the dragon went so insane they had to put the poor thing down and it was a kid."  He looked at him.  "Her playmate drooled in a cut.  She went feral and they couldn't get her out of it.  They tried for two weeks and they ended up sedating her."

Pooch shuddered.  "That's bad."  Jensen nodded.  "Are you guys enemies or anything?"

"No.  We lived in peace before.  We do when there's any down here. We just have to be really careful not to mix our bloods or anything."

"Good to know," Clay decided.  "What about your thing?"

"The others who've come back for long visits said that after a month it starts to lock back down.  There's the wrong things down here that block most everything."

"So are you going back?" Clay asked.

"If the team does.  If they break up the team I'll be volunteering to go back by myself whenever that happens."

Cougar cleared his throat.  "I'd go as well."

Pooch sighed.  "I've been having a lot of fun with a cup for the last few days," he said dryly.  "Jolene's not sure why but I've put enough up that we can do fifty rounds of in vitro.  I'm going to put up a bit more later this week."  Clay nodded that was reasonable.  "Then we'll have to talk."

"How about you do that sooner?" Jolene demanded.  "What the hell is going on?"  Cougar changed down and stared at her.  She stared.  "Oh, *God*, that's not right!"

Clay nodded.  "He got bitten by something on our last assignment, Jolene.  Calm down."  Pooch pulled her into his lap.  "Thank you, Cougar."  He was sniffing and giving him a pointed look.  "He's in the car taking a nap.  Xander set things up."  Cougar changed back, tipping his hat down some.  "He turned on us because of Aisha."

"Tell the truth, Clay.  He couldn't take seeing you dipping your dick into every evil girl anymore," Jensen said dryly, looking at him.  "So he went off to do something heroically stupid but decided to let Xander save us.  That's why Xander was only expecting to save *three* people."  Clay nodded he was right.  "And now you're the wife?"

"He's the wife," he growled, glaring at Jensen, who grinned back.

"Unless his ring's identical, you're the wife," Jensen said with a point.

"Ring?" Jolene demanded.  "Did I miss something else?"  Clay held up his hand.  "Did you marry some insane bitch I'll have to take out?" she demanded, glaring at him.  "I will gut the bitch before I let her anywhere near my man or our son if she's crazy, Clay."

"Her name is Roque," Jensen told her.  She made a high-pitch squeaky noise and stared at Clay.  Who nodded.  "So, was Xander's present good?  He told me in advance so I wouldn't worry when I felt him showing up."

Clay leaned over to swat him as hard as he could.  Jensen grinned.  "A bit too dramatic but it was nice he was tied down for our talk."  Cougar blushed and slunk down in his seat.  Jensen shivered.  "I can give you the house's address if you want," Clay said snidely.

"After being on this team, I'm not really into bondage anymore," Jensen quipped back, going back to his hacking.  "Maybe some light spanking games but nothing like being tied down."  He shrugged.  "Thanks though."

He rolled his eyes.  "He turned on us because of Aisha.  I pointed out if he had told me I would've dealt with her."

Jolene snorted.  "Then you'd have picked up another one.  No wonder he turned on you and arranged to get the other three free."  She got up and looked at her husband.  "Can you do that?"  He shook his head.  "Is that a yet?"  He nodded.  "Is that why we're paying a sperm bank?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Good!  I'd freak the fuck out if the next baby came out furry."  She walked back inside to get drinks and one for her.  She brought them out, slamming her shot and pouring a new one.  "To Clay's new wife."  They all saluted him and drank.  "Will it hurt him?" she asked Cougar.

"Yes."

"The bite hurts like a bitch," Clay told her.  "And it's a herald of an even greater pain the first few times.  You change, go feral from the pain, get sedated.  But after a few you get control and can do it consciously."

She stared at him.  "If he accidentally bites me during sex or something, would that change the future babies?"

"No idea," Jensen admitted.  He changed screens to send that to the temple that had helped him.  He got back a pretty fast answer.  "It'd mean a fifty/fifty for the baby having it.  Definitely a carrier though," he said when he got an answer.  She stared at him.  "Which is the same reason he's storing sperm."

"If I had eggs stored?"

"They'd be getting your blood," Jensen reminded her gently.

She considered it.  "If it happens to both of us and we use him the natural way?"

"Almost certain," Jensen said.

She looked at her husband, who kissed her.  She leaned against his chest.  "Then if it's fated by God that I'll change too, so be it."  He hugged her, nibbling on her throat.  She swatted him.  "You're not trying for a next child with others watching."  She stiffened.  "You see stuff about wolf packs," she said bluntly, staring at Cougar.

"The pack alpha would have to agree to him having you but he wouldn't necessarily try to get overlord's rights," Jensen told her.  "That would depend on the pack alpha."

"I'd never do that," Clay said.

"Me either," Cougar assured her.  She relaxed and let her man cuddle her again.

Jensen looked at her.  "All cubs are honored and protected, Jolene.  Among both of our species.  Cubs don't happen at the drop of a hat usually."  She stared at him.  He grinned.  "I don't change like them."

"What bit you?" she demanded.

"I was born this way."  He smirked and let some of his scales out.  She gave him the strangest look.

Clay laughed.  "We did the same damn thing the first time he changed," he assured her.  "Quit showing off, Jensen."  He went back to hacking.  "Do I want to know what you're doing?"

"Helping Willow."

"Fine."  He looked at Pooch and Jolene again.  "We go back in two weeks."

"I've got audio files ready to help force him to change that first time," Jensen said.

Pooch looked at his wife, who kissed him.  "I..."

"I'm scared for you, baby, and I hate to see you in pain, but if it'll help protect you, I'll learn how to put up with you going furry sometimes and needing a doggy bath."

He kissed her hard.  "Only if I wanted to."  He kissed her again.  He stared at her then he pulled out his pocket knife and cut into his arm.  He walked over to Cougar, who lapped it then spit into it.  He winced as the pain shot up his arm.  "That does hurt even without the bite."  He shook but they got him sitting down.  "How long?"

"About an hour before we can change you."

Jolene took him into the bedroom to take his mind off things and get her original husband one last time.  Well, maybe two if she was good at it.

Jensen looked at Clay.  "Is he rejoining?"

"I don't know.  I know he can't hurt me."

"That means he can hurt us if you're not with us," Cougar said.  Clay nodded he knew that.

"We'll talk to him before we go back," Jensen said, looking at Cougar, who nodded that was good for him too.  They heard Jolene shriek in pleasure but ignored it.  Beyond Jensen going to get the baby so he could go back to sleep.  When it was time, Jensen downloaded the file to his phone and Cougar got the tranq rifle from the car.  They got Pooch into a different room.  Jensen played the audio file of a baby screaming in pain and anger.  The things you found online horrified him sometimes.  Pooch changed right then and there, making Cougar shoot him.  Cougar had some fur sprouting too when Jensen turned it off.  "Sorry," he said quietly.

Cougar stared at him.  "Was a good idea."  Jensen grinned, leaving them to watch him.

Jolene walked in and stared at her husband.  "My poor pookie," she sighed, petting his head.  "He's a huge thing."

Cougar smiled.  "We all are."

"I want to see Jensen's real form later."  Cougar nodded.  "Can I...."  He stepped outside.  She sat down to sit next to her boy.  Her baby was not normal but he had always been perfect to her before.  Now he could just drool more and barely fit his head in her lap.  He sniffled her.  "It's just me, baby.  The wife of Pooch."  He growled lightly and sniffed her again.  Cougar came in to redart him.  Pooch had tried to protect her but that was just the man Pooch had always been.  It made her happy.  Even if he was drooling on her lap.

***

Clay walked out the next morning with Pooch.  "He's in control.  I taught him how to do it consciously."

"I still go a bit protective," he admitted.  Jolene kissed him and he moaned, kissing her deeper.  "Pancakes?" he asked with a grin when he let her mouth go.

"Hmm, in the oven keeping warm for you.  Now I know why you have your name," she teased.  "Though, baby, no drooling on me.  I am not into doggy style."  He laughed and hugged her, making her moan and hug him back.  "Stronger arms."  He eased up.  "I didn't ask you to let me go!"  He hugged her tighter.  The others let them have the mushy moment.  "Don't make me paper train you either."

"Never a thought in my mind, baby."  He kissed her again.  He smelled something.  "Roque's still around," he complained.

"He's still in the car."  She led him inside and let him have breakfast.  "How much control do you have?"

"I'm still finding reasons to let some fur sprout.  I'm in conscious control, not full control."

"Took me a month before I could masturbate without furring up some," Clay told her.

"What you and Roque do I do not need to know," she said firmly.

"I wasn't his then."

She snorted.  "You've been his for years, Clay.  Even if you were too dumb to realize it.  I ought to thank Xander for whatever kinky way he got you two together too."  She fed her baby more.  "Are you going to eat more now?"  They all nodded.  "Good!  It means I can start making proper dinners again."

"I love you," he whispered, pulling her closer to hold.  None of this had freaked her out and he was so damn lucky to have a woman like her.  She yanked on the hair that was coming out.  "Baby, that's not making it want to go back in," he growled.  "The same as you being in my lap isn't."

She laughed and kissed him then fed him some breakfast.  "Then you'd better learn control faster before I adopt and name some little latex boys."  He growled and forced it back down, kissing her again.  Fuck breakfast, he had a wife to prove himself to.

Jensen went to get the baby so he could sleep.  Jolene got really loud.  Especially complaining his arms weren't the only stronger thing and he had gotten longer too.

***

Jensen saw the strange message and shrugged, making plans for that before they had to make a decision to go back or not.  'Come see my ass' was not the usual message Xander would send to him based on his last few.  He told Clay, who nodded for him to go but not take too long.   He flew out that night and landed the next morning, getting a rental car on the way up.   He drove to Xander's apartment, finding a note on the door for him in the precise handwriting.  So he followed the directions up to the construction site.

Xander came out and signed out, getting into the car before he could do more than stop.  "First, if Roque suggests again that I take your ass as my wife, ignore the man."

"I am even though he hasn't said anything to me because I'm not talking to him.  What's wrong, Xander?"

Xander grinned.  "I got told an interesting fact, Jensen.  We're going to try it out and then I'm going to give you a great favor to ask."

"Okay.  Why?"

"Because if I'm right, the blockage on your abilities is something that magical taint can fix."  He smirked.  "Let's go out by the cliffs."  Jensen nodded and let him steer them.  When they got there, Xander had him park and they got out.  "Now, shift."

"I'm told if we do, we can get stuck."

"You won't get stuck.  We're in a fully tainted, fully magic soaked area."  Jensen looked confused but did that.  Xander watched.  "Now, feel that wall feeling?"  Jensen nodded.  "Break it."

"How?"

"Individual.  I'd say will it broken but it's a magic in taint problem."

Jensen concentrated and it chipped.  He concentrated harder and felt it smash.  He felt a moment of panic because he felt stuck but then things flowed through him like dark water and suddenly he felt free.  He changed down then back up then to his smaller size and back to human, staring at Xander.  "How?"

"I'm told that magical taint of another nature can fill in the void.  It's not the same feeling and I'm told it can't make you evil or anything, but there were two draglets born in Cleveland, very near that hellmouth.  They can both change all the time and the priestesses were worried that meant something was wrong with them but it turns out all it was was taint from the hellmouth's radiation and magic."

"So... if I let it soak into me...."

"Then it's not exactly the right sort of energy for you to fully be healthy but it'll be enough to let you change for the next year.  They had them move to the big caves in Germany and after a year their abilities went back down but as soon as they got near a magical area, they absorbed more and it came back.  That last absorption was white magic, in a blessed area, but they said it just felt like cleaner power/watery stuff."

"Yeah, it felt like darker water to me just now.  So... that's more than the month we'd get after being at home."

"Also," he said with a smirk.  "I asked Stark via Dawn.  He and Pepper think it might be a bit dietary.  You guys might be missing something that's making it harder for you to shift."

"Hmm.  I have no idea about the diet up there.  My grandparents were the ones that moved us.  Have you asked a priestess that?"

"Yes, and she said she's pretty sure it's a combination of both.  Now, with the old homeworld being in environmental decay you guys might've had that same problem then.  That may have been what really started off the exodus."

"I don't know who to ask."

"She said those records weren't brought.  But there's worlds with the same sort of energy.  Especially where you are if what I'm told is correct."  He nodded.  "So....."

"So... if I can do this and anything in the diet up there helps....  That'd be really helpful for the rest of us.  How many hellmouths are there?"

"Seven according to Giles.  Two in the US."

"So we might be able to move to the safer ones and help there."

"Hell, you guys can hide in plain sight here but you need to be pretty careful about all the vampires."

"I get that totally.  I'd never let my sister or niece move here because of that."  He shifted again.  It felt just as natural as it did on Atlantis.  He grinned.  "This is an incredible gift.  What if I had gotten stuck?"

Xander stared at him.  "You could still change size and I would've gotten you to Atlantis quietly."

"That'd be marvelous.  Thanks, Xander."  He hugged him.  "Now what's the huge favor?"

Xander pulled out his golden apple.  "There's a world up there that is locked off totally.  It still exists, I made sure first, but it is a place where this would grow properly.  Which would mean that you guys wouldn't have him missing Clay."

"Cougar got bitten by a yellow fur," he said quietly.

Xander stared at him.  "That's not the same as immortal, like Roque is," he said quietly.

"No, it's not.  A long lifetime but not immortal.  Huh.  I can see if it's still able to be gotten to and see if John would let me."

"Please.  Because I'm seeing some decay in ours.  Even though they've been in stasis and are still in stasis."

"I can do that," he promised, getting a grin back.  He hugged him.  "That is the best gift ever, Xander.  Thank you."  He kissed him.  "Hmm, you taste good."

"Syrup for breakfast.  I was running late so I took a swallow on the way out the door."  He grinned.  "Giles has maps of all the hellmouths and other spatial rips out there."

"Even better."  They went back to town and Xander got the map for him to copy down.  Then he went back to Jolene's house.  That was a fantastic bit of news.  While he waited between planes he texted the temple that had helped him.  Which was the one Xander had probably talked to.  They were interested in what had happened and said they'd send someone to test it somewhere safer.  He sent the list of hellmouths to her and she said they could pick one and let him know.  And test him if they had to.

***

John Sheppard looked at the men returning.  "Colonel," he said with a smirk.  "Back again?"

"Yup.  We thought it'd be for the best."  He smirked back.  "We never get a good mission on Earth."

"That's true, they were using you for piddling things," John joked.  He smiled at the bouncy Jensen.  "Happy to be back?"

"I have huge news and a letter for Radek if he's here."

"He's in the lab."  Jensen ran off to tell him and give him the letter.  John got them assigned to their old rooms and let them handle things.  They knew how to do things.

Jensen came back an hour later, after babbling at Radek for a bit.  "We have huge news."

"What sort of huge news?  Beyond the fact I saw the shiny thing Clay was wearing."

"Roque.  Xander set it up."  He smirked.

"He told me so I could let him know when Clay was back."  Jensen cackled.  "What news?"  Jensen leaned over to hiss in his ear, getting a moan.  "That's wonderful news.  And yeah, I know that place.  I looked it up.  It's a peaceful garden area that's got really bad air."

"He said there's some decay even in stasis."

"There is," John agreed.  "I noticed it in mine.  We did promise not to plant them."

"I think he may have asked permission but I'm not sure.  Xander?"  He showed up in a shadow, standing in it.  "Will that get you in trouble?"

"Shouldn't but I can ask."  He shrugged.  "Your dad could ask for us."

"True.  Or the decay could be proof that they're weakening again."  Xander nodded, disappearing.  "That is very happy news," he told Jensen with a grin.  "Go celebrate."  Jensen jogged off, going back to his room to unpack then up to their roof to sun.  No one could see them up there and no one ever came up to sit with them.  John considered things.  If they could plant them, his could use it too.  His was more decayed than Xander's was and he wasn't sure why.

***

Xander bowed to the elderly woman in front of him.  "Lady Hera, is there something I can do to help you?" he asked.

She stared at him.  "Why did you show up, Alexander?"

"I noticed my apple given by you had some decay even in stasis.  I thought I would check with you and ask a question as well."

"The tree ails as I do," she admitted.

"Can I help with that in some way?"

She shook her head.   "I am an old Goddess, young man."

He grinned.  "You weren't that much older than me when you gifted us those apples."  She cackled, shaking her head.  "Not like I'm a spring chicken either."

"Yes, but we have problems."

"Would getting down to earth again help any?"

"No, our ambrosia supply is drying up."

He frowned.  "How did that happen?"

"We are not sure."

"Ask John to see if any of his people can help?" he suggested.  "They're on Atlantis."  She quirked an eyebrow up.  He nodded.  "Fighting the wraith.  Our mom, so very pissed off."

"I'm sure she was."  She smiled.  He did cheer her up greatly.  "The health of them is related to the health of the tree but if they get too damaged nothing can be done to save it.  Have you not married?"

"No.  I nearly married someone but Freya butted in and caused problems."

"Ah.  That makes much sense.  I'm not sure what I can do to help solve that issue."

"There's a place in Pegasus that may let us transplant one."

She considered it.  "That might be a good idea.  A healthy tree would be good."

"A healthy Tree of Life would be good too," he said, looking around.  "Yours isn't."  She gaped.  "I can feel it from here, Lady Hera.  Was my father here?"

"No.  That is not the cause."

He held up a hand and closed his eyes, searching.  He found the cause and brought it to him, holding it up.  "Poison."

She took it to sniff.  "No wonder Gaia has been so ill.  Sister?"  She appeared.  "Alexander found this on our heritage tree."

She sniffed the bark, grimacing.  "That is foul."

"Yes, it is," Xander agreed.  "I can see if anyone among my own know how to help."

"Gaia should be able to cure it," Hestia assured him, taking it to her.

Hera looked at him.  "Does Jonathan have many who garden?"

"He has botanists, who study plants.  He has all sorts of scientists, including a few firelings."

"Interesting.  I'll contact him later tonight."

"I can...." he offered, waving a hand.  She nodded and he went to snatch John, bringing him back.  "She needs you now," he said bluntly when they landed.

"Lady Hera.  Are you ill?" he demanded.  "Do we need to thump some idiot again?"

She smiled.  "You were always such a sweet child, Jonathan.  No, the ambrosia has been slowly drying up.  I wish you to take cuttings of our most important garden dwellers and plant them."

He nodded.  "I can do that.  There's a few worlds that are ideal and one that's a made garden by the Ancients."

She smiled.  "That would be perfect as long as it was blessed."

"I can and I have a few firelings on my station so I can get their help.  Also a few new yellow furs."

She grimaced.  "Why?"

"One bit two people."

"I pity them."

Xander beamed.  "We found out hellmouth energy can take the place of some of the energy within them so they can change on earth."

"That is excellent news," she said with a smile.  She moaned and held her head.  Xander rushed up to push power into her, helping her not fade.  "Dear, that can kill you."

"Hell has been trying for years," he said, staring at her.  "John, can you check the ambrosia?"

"I can do that."  He hurried to it.  It was dried up.  It wasn't flowing like it should.  He concentrated and nothing happened.  He tested it and found the cause.  Then he blasted it into no longer being.  Suddenly the fountain that it flowed from started to run again.  He brought Hera a cup.  "The flowers were ancient and dried up but their new ones weren't being given enough room in the fountain.  I tore up the old so they could fertilize the new."  He made her drink it, which let Xander let go before he faded out.  He stared at Xander then smacked him on the head.  Hera laughed.  "He was protecting you and I know he's like that, but he can't endanger himself that way."

"Or what?  I'll miss Ragnarok?"  He shrugged.  "Yay!"

"Children, do not fight," Hera ordered.  She got the others fed with their help and went to look at their heritage tree.  Xander helped with the problem and it was easier.   Gaia was certainly more lively.  He even brought one of Gaia's and Hecate's handmaidens up to help them.  Within an hour, the pruning was done and it was healthy again.  So were most of the Gods.  A few weren't as healthy.  Xander went to nag them.  They got their ambrosia and things were more healthy again.  John went back to Atlantis while Tara fussed.

A few scowled at her for it but Xander scowled back and they quit.  They had seen him in a battle and were too tired to fight.  He got her home and came back to help some more then talked to Hera about the plans and what she wanted cuttings from.  He also asked what might happen if he planted a single seed in Sunnydale.  Her answer of 'the whomping willow' didn't do more than make him giggle.

She did give him permission though and that was the important thing.

***

Willow walked up to where Xander was planting something.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm planting something for a follower of Hera who found some special flowers."  He looked up at her.  "They asked Tara for help and she's in class."

"Why?  And special how?"

"Blessed flowers.  They're said to bring luck to whoever wears even a petal during their weddings."  He smiled.  "So I'm canceling a favor I owe Tara."

"That's dumb and the hellmouth will warp it, Xander.  Unplant it."

He stared at her.  "You're not my mother, Willow."  She tried to push him out of the way to do it herself but he knocked her back and stood up, dusting off his hands.   "Go away.  Just... go the fuck away.  Become normal and come back."

"That's dangerous!" she shouted.

"If I really gave a damn what your clouded little mind thought it'd be different."

"Hey!" Buffy complained, joining them.  "Why the yellies?"

"A follower of Hera has some very good omen flowers that she wanted Tara to plant here.  The sort that even a petal worn during a wedding can bring the family luck."

"That's a good thing.  The hellmouth could use more good things."

"Willow doesn't like it.  The last I knew, Willow wasn't the mayor."

"No, she's not, and we're on private property," Buffy realized.  Xander nodded.  "Do you know them?"

"Yeah.  I asked."  He grinned.  "They said it'd be fine.  I'm planting them as a favor to Tara because she had to go to class.  Willow's trying to force me to undo them."

"If they're not going to cause any harm why would it matter?" Buffy asked her.

"Hera isn't real!" she shouted.

"Shut up," Xander said dryly.  "I've met Hera during a battle."  Willow went pale.  "Yeah, Xander's been in a few," he said dryly.  "That's how I got the apple for my future mate."  She shrank back some more.  "Are you done with your crackhead fit?"

"I am not," she growled, pulling up power.

"You try that shit and I'm so telling Hecate on you."  She blasted him and he shielded, collecting it instead of letting it flow back.  He pulled something out of his pocket and put the ball of power into it, then resealed it.  He stared at her.  "You gonna try that again?"  She was pale and shaking her head.  He nodded.  "Yeah, I did ask.  I asked specifically about magic addictions and all that, Willow.  I even gave Giles three new books."  She backed off.  "I believe he's been reading all day to talk to you tonight while Buffy and I patrol.  Maybe you should go talk now?"

"I'm not a magic addict!"  She tried to hit him but Buffy grabbed her to hold her off.

"You've been one for over a year," Buffy complained.  Xander took her to restrain and put cuffs on her.  "Is that necessary?"

"Yes.  Though it won't stop all magic it'll stop most attacks.  Give us a bit of warning if she tries."  He heard a growl and looked around.  "Hmm.  Interesting.  Buffy, take her to Giles."  She nodded, looking around.  "That's not a hellhound."  She took Willow with her.  Xander manifested his axe.  "Here, kitty kitty kitty.  Nice hell kitty.  Come to Xander, hellkitty."  The thing appeared as it attacked, making him smack it with the flat of the blade.  It went invisible but he attacked it again and it died this time.  He stared at the now solid remains.  "You know better."  He sent it home and put his axe back.  "All right, we'll go talk to them later."  He found the girls watching.  "What?"

"Your axe appeared."

"Yes.  Why?"

"Is that the axe in the closet?"

"No."  He smirked.  "Not by a long shot.  Why?"

"What is it?"

"It's my specially gifted weapon.  It won't hurt me if someone else uses it but I'm real possessive of her."  He smirked.  "Like you are of Mr. Pointy that Kendra gave you."

"I can understand that.  Can I see it later?"

"Sure.  Let's deal with the problem of the moment and then we'll deal with that?"  She nodded, walking Willow off.  He looked behind him once they were out of sight.  "Hi, Auntie Hel."  He gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Did I plant it right?"

She looked.  "It needs a bit of power to nurture it and make it bloom."  He breathed some onto it and the flower bloomed a pretty lilac looking bloom.  "Very nicely hidden as well."  He smirked and obscured the whole garden.  "Even better.  Who was attacking them?"

"I'm not totally sure but she knows if she wants me to help all she has to do is ask, the same as you guys do."

Hel smirked.  "We should.  We are your natal family."

"Who drive me fucking nuts sometimes."

"Good point.  They do the same to me," she sighed.  She patted him on the cheek.  "Find a spouse?"

"I tried."

"I know, dear.  It's better than the last two."  He shrugged, looking down.  "I hope you find a good spouse some day soon."

"Me too," he admitted, looking up at her.  "Because it sucks when you're alone and can't share things."

"Yes, it does," she agreed.  She helped lay protections on the garden against Willow's tampering.  And hellmouth tampering.  "She's pulling up power."

Xander ran off to stop her.  "Knock her out!" he shouted.  Buffy looked back and then at Willow, who was glowing.  She hadn't noticed that.

Then the street exploded.

3: The Old Ones Return

The fallout from Willow's problem.  The witness statements, the parents that can't seem to accept blame, Xander dealing with his eye.  And maybe a little bloom of interest for Xander from a decent woman.

Xander woke up somewhere very light.  It was so light it was hurting his eyes.  Though one hurt when he tried to cover them.  "Shit that hurts," he muttered, sitting up.

"Stay down," a growled voice ordered.  They touched his face gently.  "Stay still, kid."

"Shut up, Roque.  What're you doing here?  And where is here?  Did Willow go nuclear?"

"Kind of I think."  He pushed him back down.  "You're injured, stay."  Xander slumped.  "Tip your head up."  Xander did and winced.  "Yeah, that's a debris injury.  I have no idea where we are."

Xander felt around them.  "Outside the home solar system I think."  He winced.  "I hope like hell someone got her for this."

"I'm pretty sure they did.  You know your group is watched over."

"Damn I hope someone shoves a boot up her ass this time."  He made it to his feet, wobbling.  "Any other concerns?  Do we have temporary shelter and can we find food?"

"Food yeah.  I killed a rabbit looking thing.  Shelter...  Not that I can see."

Xander looked around, sighing in displeasure.  "Well, if we had shadows."

"I know."  He steadied him.  "There is one bright spot."  He pointed.  Xander realized he had to turn to look that way.  "Your eye looks like shit.  Want me to lie?"

"It feels like shit."

"It's got debris in it, Xander."

Xander considered that ring.  "Okay.  Hopefully we can get medical attention then."  He tried to walk toward the ring but Roque had to help him.  They ate the rabbit thing for energy.  "Just us?"

"So far."

"Then we'll figure it out.  Or I'll find us a shadow there hopefully."

"I hope too."  He gathered his shirt and the axe that had come with them.  "Your axe feels normal."

Xander tested it.  "It's in quiet mode."  He put it back and winced.  "I think someone's displeased.  A lot.  Though I'm hoping not at me."  They made it to the ring after a few hours of walking, falling down to sit in the shade of it.  There wasn't a lot of shade, not enough to fit inside of.  That was probably because there were two suns in the sky.  One was fairly distant though so they weren't frying to their bones yet.  Xander stared at the device to dial it.  He knew what they were.  He had learned when he was younger about the Supposed Ones and their rings.  A faint memory came back and he drew in the dirt.  "If I forget, this is home, the main gate."  He nodded at that.  Xander got up and went to dial it.  The wormhole blew into life.

"Clay said they have a shield."

"Then I hope someone over there is listening."  Xander broadcast that way, hoping to find a mind he could touch.  And he did.  "An ascended."  He broadcast at them and shut it down to conserve power and because he was now dizzy as hell.  He sat back down and they waited.  Nothing and it was starting to get slightly darker.  Still no shadows.  "She really screwed up this time."

"Yeah, well, she's a woman.  She's definitely Clay's sort of woman."

"She might even make me swear off women."  He looked at his buddy.  "Let me....  Do something dumb."

"Don't you dare."

"Your people taught me."

"Good point but still!"

Xander stared at him.  Then he let himself drop.  He moved into his mind and out of his mind and body, toward the feeling of other beings.  That wormhole had left a tangible, ethereal connection and he traveled that way, finding the ascended arguing with people.  He asked politely then invaded his mind.  "Hi," he told the ones watching.  "General Landry, this is Xander Harris, from Sunnydale.  John's half-brother.

"We had a small issue with Miss Rosenburg, who sent us wherever we're at.  Which was why I just called this partially ascended guy."  Landry was choking.  "I'm kinda injured and I really need to go kill me a former best friend.  Especially since it looks like I may be losing an eye from the damage.  Can we perhaps come home now?"

"This is entirely unorthodox!"

Xander stared at him.  "Fine.  Let me call someone higher up who can authorize it."

"You will not and get out of his body."

Xander floated out and manifested.  "Better?" he asked dryly.  "So, did witnessing what the Initiative did make you happy or something?"

"That's not really a way to get help," Daniel complained.

Xander looked at him.  "Do I look happy and cheerful?"  He used Daniel's hand that he grabbed to dial the phone.  Including a nine to get out because most systems you had to.  "Dawn, me.  She did something.  We're trapped somewhere with a gate.  I'm injured, I'm with Roque, tell Clay not to worry.  Tell John not to kill her without me, and please come get me."

"Where's Buffy?" she demanded.

"No clue.  I'm partially possessing someone.  Out of my body, going out of my mind.  No shadows there.  Hel said she was pulling hellmouth energy."

"Yeah, there was a huge explosion!" she complained.  "I'll tell Pepper.  It's a bad day around here too."

"If it was her, get me back and I'll solve it."  Landry hung up.  "That was rude."

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded coldly.

"Alexander.  Guardian of the Villages for the true Asgard."  Landry snorted.  "No, the little aliens?  We knew about the Supposed Ones.  We even liked them most of the time.  But huge ass issue?  I can call my dad down to come bother the piss outta you.  After all, he is Loki."  Loki appeared, staring at him.  "Willow."

"She'll pay," he vowed.

"Get me back so I can make sure of it and get something to kill the fucking pain in my eye.  Please," he ground out.  He hated asking his father for anything.  Even in emergencies.  It usually came back to bite him on the ass.

"I'll do what I can.  I do have some pull."  He studied him.  "Go back to your body before you wear yourself out, Alexander."  He let Daniel go and snapped back.  He sighed.  "Well, that's charming of her."  He called someone.  "It's Nathaniel, put me through now."  The phone was switched over.

"Nat?" a male voice a few in the room recognized asked.

"Yes, it's me.  Landry is preventing us from saving someone."

"Why do you know General Landry?"

Loki snapped his fingers, bringing him there.  "Because I'm not just him."  The vice president stared at him.  He smiled and kissed him.  "Miss Rosenburg sent my son and my son's almost spouse there."

"Who are you really then?" he asked.

"Loki."  He smirked.  "My son is Alexander."

"That figures if we're talking about Harris."  Loki nodded.  "Anything else I should know?"

"He's injured," Daniel said.  "His left eye looks like pulp."

"Landry, retrieve them."

"I...."

The vice president glared.  "Now!"  Landry backed off.  "Walter, dial that address from wherever again and get my people back please."

"Yes, sir," he said, doing so.  He dialed it again.  "SG-1 can go get them, sir?"

"Go," he told Daniel and Cam, who rushed off.  "Bring a damn doctor too."

"Willow," Loki told him.

"She's going to get her ass kicked."

"My son assured me he'd be helping."  The doctor ran past and he moved closer.  "I am not near you for any reason I have not stated," he said, staring into his eyes.

The vice president smiled.  "That's good to know.  Do you and your son get along?"

"No, not in many years.  I tried to arrange those two into a marriage and they didn't like it.  Now Roque is apparently married to his choice and my son is miserable.  Which I should cure."  They shared a look and watched the two immortals be walked through.  "Dear Odin, that's worse than it looked."  He walked down to touch his son's damaged cheek.  "Son?"

"Dad, ow.  Pain killers," he muttered.  "Get Coulson to go lock her up so I can kill her?"

"Gladly."  He stared at the doctors.  "Do take care of my son."

"Does he have any healing gifts?"

"Mermaid taint means I heal a bit faster," Xander mumbled, then passed out.

"His blood's contaminated with a few things he got from a burial chamber he fell into," Roque said, leaning on Cam's shoulder.  "If he doesn't kill her, I'm going to do it and do it nice and damn slow."

"I'm sure it will be pleasant to watch," Loki said dryly.  "I'll tell your spouse?"

"No, he'll flip out on someone."  They went to the infirmary.  "Are you going to be able to save his eye?" he asked the doctor working on it.

"That depends on how much damage the debris did.  If I take it out would he grow a new one?"

"He doesn't heal that way.  Neither of us do."

"Pity.  This is going to suck a lot for him.  There's a lot of damage.  Who has his medical power of attorney?"

"The bitch that did it to us," Roque said bluntly.  "Or Dawn Summers.  She's interning under Stark's main assistant, Pepper Potts."

"I'll see if we can reach them.  For now, he needs treatment for the burns, the same as you do, and the eye.  We've sedated him."  Roque nodded.  "Should we contact anyone for you?"

"Fury can email them."

"All right."  She moved to look up the number for Stark Enterprises.  Then she patted him down for a cellphone, finding it.  "There we are.  Coulson/Dawn?"

"He's an agent, works with Fury."

"That may work then."  She called it from the desk phone.  "This is Doctor Carolyn Lam.  I need to speak to a Dawn Summers or whoever her legal guardian is if she's underage due to a medical matter with a Mr. Harris please."  She listened.  "He said she's in Egypt?"

"Who knows with Stark," he admitted.  He took the phone.  "Coulson?  No, pussbag, put the fucking uptight nerd on or I'm going to come over there and rip out your goddamn throat with my damn teeth!"  Coulson was handed the phone.  "Coulson, Roque.  We're with Doctor Lam...  Yes, Willow.  Xander's in pretty bad shape."  He handed the phone over.  "Him."  He sat down and let the nurses fuss over the burns.  "The scar's ancient," he said quietly.

"It's a bit enflamed.  This creme should bring that down, sir."

He smiled.  "You're nicer than my spouse is going to be."

The doctor looked at him.  "He said he's sure of that."  She went over the problems she was looking at and he said they'd be there in a few minutes.  She wasn't sure how but....  "Thank you."  She hung up and went back to picking out debris.  The boy was starting to come around so she upped the sedative.   The other was staring at her but that was normal for friends and teammates.  "Are you military?"

"I was army.  I was on Colonel Clay's team."  She stared at him, mouth slightly open.  "I'm the one who hooked them up with Xander helping them with all that but I didn't reup."

She nodded.  "He mentioned you, Captain."

He shrugged.  "It happens and we worked it out."

"Should we send an email up there?"

"He'll flip the fuck out and storm the infirmary to kick my ass for being hurt."

She smiled.  "That's a good, telling reaction."  He nodded he knew that.  She got back to work on Xander.  Someone stomped in, General O'Neill.  "Sir."

"Doctor.  How in the hell?" he demanded, spotting Roque.

"Willow.  Lost.  Her.  Mind."

"That's good to know.  Dawn's on her way down with Coulson and Potts supporting her."  He looked and winced.  "Any chance, Doc?"

"Not sure yet.  Give me a few more to pick out debris."

"Metal?  Cement?"

"And wood and some glass...." she said, plucking out some of that.  "It looks like he was in a bomb blast."

"It probably was," Dawn agreed as she walked in.  She went pale and turned around.  "Okay, that's bad and I'll never be a doctor because it kinda looks gross."  Pepper petted her on the shoulder.  She squeezed her eyes shut then turned back around.  "All right, how bad and can we save it?"  She made herself look at Xander's injury.

"Give me ten minutes.  Does he have any allergies?"

"Three."  She wrote down what she knew.  She also called someone.  "Is she dead yet?  Xander's going to want to kill her dumb butt."  She listened.  "Please do.  Any word on Buffy?"  She nodded.  "That may help, yeah.  Thanks."  She looked.  "Oh, his dad's here."  She hung up.  "Loki."

"Dawn."  He smirked.  "You're adorable."

"Yay me."  She looked at the doctor again.  "He tried to marry these two off and it was a bad decision."

"Sometimes parents don't know best," she agreed.  After a few more minutes of cleaning and looking at the eye under a magnifying glass she shook her head.  "No, I can't."

Dawn swallowed.  "Then you do what you have to do, Doctor Lam," she said quietly and calmly.  "And we'll kick her ass into hell if we must."  She smiled and nodded, taking him to surgery to clean that up.  "Are we moving him?" she asked Pepper.  "I know you said this was a super eyes-only base when she called."

"Probably.  I can arrange that once the doctor releases them," Pepper said calmly.  "It looks a lot worse than it is, Dawn.  He can function pretty well with one eye."

"Yeah but I'm still going to give Willow hell.  Mom would want to spank her."

"Your mother doesn't need that stress.  We can tell her later, together."  Dawn nodded, smiling at her and getting a hug.  "It'll be okay."

"Where did he go?" Lam shouted.

"Atlantis," Loki said, looking up.  "He was having a vision about his half-brother Jonathan."

"I can't shadow shift the same way," Roque admitted.  He was not going to let them get hold of his gifts.  They might want to keep him and that would complicate his life with Clay.  Besides, if he was with John, Xander was highly protected.  John was nearly as badass as he was.

"He showed up before," Dawn quipped.  "Because John's mom had her assistant's boyfriend make anti-wraith germs."  Roque smirked at her.  "They said it right in front of me.  Of course I heard."

Doctor Lam came out.  "Doctor Keller can finish it easily enough.  She's a trauma surgeon so she might be more delicate than I can be."

Pepper smiled.  "Special people often give you headaches."

"Quite," she agreed.  She checked Roque over.  "You could be good to go."

"I'll get him to a civilian hospital then.  Thank you for helping, Doctor.  And you as well, General.  And sir," she said, spotting the vice president.  She shook his hand.  "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome.  I want a report on who gets her butt and how they're going to kill her."

"I believe Agent Fury was on his way to find her with most of SHIELD's agents behind him."

"Good!"  Pepper smiled back.  "Captain?"  Roque looked over.  "Go with the nice ladies and be less scary please."

"Yes, sir."  He followed them.  "Thank you, nurses.  Better than the usual ones I've seen."  They all smiled.  "He'd say the same."  He nodded at the general, who gave him a pointed look.  "No, please don't tell them."

"I won't then."  They left.  "Today."  Doctor Lam laughed.  "They'll want a report on the injuries."  She nodded, sitting down to work on that for him.  The vice president went to chew on Landry some more.

***

John looked up as someone fell out of a hallway shadow onto him.  "Shit, Xander!  Medical!"  People came running.  "You smell like antiseptic.  Who was operating on you?" he demanded.  Keller came jogging out.  "Doc."

"What the hell?"

"My half-brother.  He shifted up.   He smells like he was in surgery."

"Let's get him to the medical bay," she ordered.  "Ronon, carry him for me please?"  He nodded, lifting him and taking him after her.  "We'll see what I can do about that really bad eye injury.  Give me ten to look him over," she told Sheppard.  "You swear out here."  He nodded, catching his temper before following.  That way he wasn't hovering.

***

Xander woke up with a groan, and someone caught his hand.  "Don't touch, it's bandaged," Jensen said quietly.  Xander blinked at him then turned pale.  "Bucket," he said, handing it over.  Xander puked a bit then laid back down with another moan.  "Doc, he's up."

"I heard."  She walked over.  "That's a common thing after surgery."

"Can I still kill the bitch?" he mumbled.

"Which bitch?" Jensen asked.

"Willow.  Is Roque okay?"

"She...  Well, hell.  We'll figure it out, Xander.  He's pretty indestructible, the same as you are."  Xander let out a bitter laugh.  "Shh."  He hugged him, even if the boy did push at him.  "I know, but you need one."

Xander nodded.  "I need shot.  It'd hurt less."

She stopped him from touching his eye again.  "Don't, please.  You'll only cause more damage."  Xander stared at her.  "It was already half gone when you appeared up here however you did that."

"I was having a vision about John."

"You mumbled that at me and I wrote it down for him," she said with a weak smile.  "You're his half-brother?"  Xander nodded.  "Same mother, right?"  He nodded again.  "She hasn't shown up yet."

"She's not fond of hospitals."

"That's fine."  She stroked over his hand.  "Your eye was beyond saving."  Xander slumped but nodded.  "You have some interesting second degree sunburns.  Can you tell me what happened?"  He went over it all for her.  She sighed.  "Then you were on base and Doctor Lam has to be complaining.  I'll write her an email and tell her how you did."

"I thought I heard Dawn."

"I'll write her," Jensen promised.  "Just rest for now, Xander.  Quit fighting the medicine to make you sleep."  He nodded and drifted off again.  John walked in and Jensen made 'quiet' noises.

John stroked over Xander's hair.  "You're all right.  You're safe and I'll protect you."  Xander blinked at him.  "I know.  We'll deal with it."  Xander nodded and drifted off again.  John hopped up beside Jensen.  "Willow's magic addiction went postal.  She blew up half the town."

Jensen stared at him.  "Who has her?"

"Fury.  From the email I got from O'Neill for him, he's living up to his name."

"Good!"  Xander mumbled something.  "I know you want to kill her first."

"He might let him.  For right now, let's get him healthy so he can shift home, Doctor Keller."  She nodded.  "They also want a report."  She nodded at that.  "The one they got from Roque made him hellishly pissed since he was taking out a terrorist against orders."

"Sounds like him, yeah," Jensen admitted.  "With a knife?"

"Yup."

"He's good at it too," Jensen quipped.  "You should tell Clay that."

"I did."

"Thanks."

"I like my little brother, Jensen.  I always have."  They shared a look.  Then he went back to his office to rant at the Gods about this not being fair to Xander.

Jensen kept watch for now.  Xander would stay asleep longer if he had someone there he trusted.

***

Nick Fury looked at the young woman tied to the chair.  She was still mouthy.  "Willow Rosenburg, you killed over seven hundred people with your reckless actions and endangered thousands of others."

"I did not!"

"You did so," he said calmly.  "You also displaced and nearly killed your supposed best friends."  She flinched at that.  "Because of you, Mr. Harris has lost an eye.  Miss Summers was nearly killed in Rome."  She looked down.  "Do you have anything you want to say for yourself before we start deliberating about how we're going to kill you?"

She stared at him.  "I didn't do it on purpose.  They were treating me like I was some criminal."

"If you weren't then you are now," he assured her dryly.  "There's been offers from almost every single person we work with in SHIELD plus a few other countries who'd like to talk to you."  He stared at her.  "You are the single biggest threat to humanity I have ever seen and yet you don't look like an evil villain out to destroy or rule the world."  She gasped, shaking her head.  "Yes, you.  You killed seven hundred people," he told her.

"No, I didn't.  I can..."

"Do jack shit," he assured her.  "We made sure any powers you may have are blocked, young lady.  And if I ever meet your parents, they're getting an earful over how they didn't raise you making you be this fucking dumb."  He leaned forward.  "Do you even care that you nearly killed them both?"

"He'll have to retire now and he's safer."

"Plenty of us do it with one eye," he said dryly, pointing at his own patch.  She whimpered.  "He's going to be more maimed than I am.  Miss Summers needs the hospital for another day and a half thanks to what jumped her in Rome."  Willow tried to slumped own.  "I'd hope that you were at least sorry but I doubt it."  He stood up.  "Take her back to her cell."  The guards brought her back and let her sob about her stupidity.  He went to talk to others.  "Miss Potts," he said dryly, finding her in his seat.

"It needs padding."

"It does but I'd be too comfortable to get up and kick butt," he admitted with a smirk.  "More problems?"

"Dawn needed to know if you needed her to bind Willow's powers."

"No, I'm going to kill her stupid ass.  Even if someone can find a use for her, I doubt it'd be safe."

"She's an addict."

"I realize that.  I remember when she first found magic.  We were watching back then too."  Pepper gave him a slight smile.  "Any word on them?"

"Miss Summers is back stateside in New York in a hospital.  She'll get out tomorrow probably and go to LA to be with her mother.  Who I still need to tell if Dawn hasn't.  Dawn's been crying non-stop.  I can't find Tara."

"She's with Coulson.  She got knocked down pretty hard and he respects her.  He's trying to recruit her because she's a lot like him, only nicer."

"That's good.  It can help Dawn."  She smiled.  "Xander?"

"With his half-brother at the moment."

"That's good.  At least it'll be someone supportive."

He nodded.  "Probably.  Any other news I need to hear?"

"The terrorist Roque was working on is dead.  The flash that took Roque killed him."

"Even better news!"  She smiled and let him have his chair.  "If you ever want to switch, I wouldn't mind an executive assistant like you."

"You couldn't drive me nearly as insane as Tony does."  She smiled and left, being sent down to talk to Dawn and get her calmed down.  "Let's go see your mother."

She nodded, taking her with her.  They appeared in Joyce's room, startling her.  Stark had found out how to build the beaming machine and he adored that device.   He had put it on the Stark Enterprises satellite.  "Mommy," she whispered, hugging her.

Pepper sat down.  "There's been an incident in Sunnydale."

Joyce hugged her younger daughter.  "Buffy?"

"She's back in the US, she'll be out of the hospital in New York tomorrow.  Xander should be back soon.  He sent himself out of harm's way or he was banished out of harms' way.  No one's entirely certain."

"What happened?" Joyce asked.

Dawn pulled her head up.  "Willow lost it."

Joyce hugged her as hard as she could.  "I'm glad you weren't there, Dawn."  Dawn sniffled and cried on her shoulder.  "Tell me what I need to hear today so I don't flinch when I see them, Miss Potts."  She smiled and laid it all out for her.  Joyce smiled and Pepper left her alone with her little girl.  "I'm glad she can be here for you when I can't."

Dawn looked at her.  "You're still here for me and I know that but you don't need all the stress right now.  Pepper does really good teaching me how not be an easy slut too."

"Good!  I'd hate to spank you for that."  A nurse walked in.  Dawn got a scowl.  "Her sister got hurt and is in the hospital."

"I'm sorry to hear that.  Bad?"

"It was, she'll be out tomorrow."  The nurse nodded, making a note about her treatment overnight.  She went out and told the other nurses that Dawn was being emotional and crying on her mother but there was a reason.  They got Joyce extra pudding that night so they could share it.  When the nice Miss Potts came back they smiled and let her take Dawn for now.  Joyce got out of bed and wandered down to the gift shop to get some real chocolate.  They let her, she clearly needed it.

***

Clay held the boy down.  "Xander!" he snapped, waking him up.  "Let the nurse go.  You're affecting them with your powers."  Xander gasped, panting hard.  "Let.  Her.  Go."  Cougar helped her down off the ceiling before Xander dropped her.  Xander moaned and went limp.  Clay let Xander go slowly.  "What was that, Jensen?"

"Vision.  With powers coming out to fight what he saw I think."  He wiped Xander's face off, watching him drift off again.  "I'm sure he'd be really sorry," he told the nurse.

She smiled.  "He was when I startled him earlier and he flinched.  It's all right.  It's something that happens now and then.  You should've seen what happened when Doctor McKay got hit with an ascension machine."  She checked him over.  "He's okay."  She went to make a note.  She came back a minute later.  "Do all visions do that?"

"No, usually it's like a headache inducing movie preview that only you see as it rips your brain apart," Jensen said.  The nurse smiled.  Jensen stroked over Xander's head, making him moan.  "Just rest, Xander.  We're here guarding you."

"Can we find what he saw?" Clay asked.

Jensen nodded.  He gave Xander a harder pet, making him moan and move to his right side.  "Xander?"  Xander blinked at him.  "What was the vision?"

"An attack only they had more people.  Last time there weren't any of you.  Now they do.  And others."  He drifted off again when the nurse upped his medicine.

She smiled at them.  "It can wait, guys.  Really.  It sounds like the one he had during surgery too."  She noted that down and it was better for her infirmary.

Clay looked up when his comm earpiece went off.  "This is Clay," he answered, touching it.  He listened, grimacing.  "I can do that.  Send someone to watch the kid and we'll be ready in ten."  He hung up.  "SGA-1 got taken hostage."

Jensen leaned down next to his ear.  "I'll be back in a while, after I go save John," he whispered.  "I'll have someone I trust come watch over you."  Xander mumbled something.  "Sure, you still get to kill Willow when they let you wake up again, Xander."  He left, calling someone to see if they could patient-sit.  He passed Cadman, earning a smile for his hug.  "You really busy?"

"Radek sent me to babysit."

"Thanks, Laura."  He jogged to catch up to the others.  "How technical are the villagers?" he called.

"Clubs, minor handmade things," Pooch said.

"Right, I'll pack extra ammo," Jensen quipped, doing just that.  They wouldn't need clothes or his computers but they'd need weapons.  A lot of weapons.  And maybe some explosives.  They had missed explosives.

***

Joyce looked at her daughter.  She had just paused in the doorway to her hospital room. Buffy's hair was now chin length to help hide the new layers on one side where the first hospital had to trim it to stitch her scalp for her.  She looked exhausted.  Joyce pulled her down to cuddle her.  "Oh, Buffy," she whispered.

"I didn't even realize she was pulling power, Mom," she whispered back.  "Xander realized and yelled to warn but I don't know where he is.  Or Tara."

"Tara's with us," Dawn said as she came in with two cups of cocoa and a glass of iced tea for their mother.  She hugged her.  "I worried so much."

"Is Tara all right?"

"She was knocked out.  The city's not exactly healthy."

"Xander?" Buffy begged.

"Injured, with his half-brother in their infirmary.  She sent him totally off the earth for a bit."  She cuddled her.  "Xander has some burns and he's now missing an eye."

Buffy choked back a sob.  "How could she?" she asked.

"Addicts do stupid thing," Joyce reminded her.  "Look at the ones on drugs.  It's not much different, but we'll help him all we can."  Dawn nodded.  "When does he get out and come home?"

"Within days they think."  She stroked over Buffy's head, watching her flinch.  "It'll be okay.  Agent Fury has Willow."  Buffy swallowed but nodded.  "He's so very totally pissed at her."

"Me too," Buffy admitted.  "I'm so mad and I can't let it go.  Not after.... that."

Her mother hugged her.  "We'll do what we can, girls."  Buffy nodded, settling in against her shoulder.  "Though I like your hair."  Buffy gave her a weak smile.  Dawn handed over a crazy straw for her cocoa so she wouldn't have to let go to drink it.  Joyce smiled.  Dawn settled into a chair on the other side so she could see them both.  "Dawn, what are you doing?"

"I'm learning a lot about office stuff.  Including that some guards need to learn how to count."  Her mother stared at her.  "One thinks I'm cute but he's twenty-six and I said you'd rip his brain out and use it to add to yours.  Or Buffy's so she's smarter."  Buffy snorted, shaking her head, taking a sip of her cocoa.  "Pepper heard me the last time and gave the guard a look like he should run since he did.  All the way to Rhodey, who gave him a good, long lecture about finding a deep hole."

"Good.  I'm glad they're protective of you."

"Pepper even helps me shop, Mom.  She's helped me find some really tasteful things for work and school that're still cute."

"Even better."  She smiled, squeezing Dawn's hand while cuddling Buffy.   "Is there any news on Rupert?"

"He's in Sunnydale trying to rebuild some things," Dawn admitted.  "Like the store again."  She pulled out her phone, noticing the missed text message.  She turned up her ringer again and got into that one, answering it back.  It was only two minutes and she apologized about having it off in the hospital.  She called Rupert, putting it on the speaker setting.  It helped Buffy and Joyce feel better.  Pepper showed up to gather her a few hours later, smiling at them.

"Thank you," Joyce said quietly.

"If I was a mother, I'd worry all the time.  Dawn has good sense.  She's making sure you don't have to worry too much about her."

"I'm happy with her conduct as long as I'd hear anything bad."

"Of course.  If she needs spanked, you'll hear second."  Joyce beamed at her.  "She's been very helpful actually.  I've needed an assistant.  She's saved me from going after Tony with my claws a few times too."

"This guard?"

"He's so fired," Pepper assured her with a smile.  "He was as soon as I heard."  She gently woke Dawn up and smiled at her.  "Let's go for the night.  You can come back Sunday since she's got a treatment on Saturday."  Dawn hugged her mother and sister then followed her out.  "It could've been much worse, Dawn.  Quit stressing out.  No one's going to be fighting anything anytime soon."  She nodded, taking her arm to walk with her.  "It'll be okay.  Your mom's doing great.  Your sister's healed well.  Xander's going to be fine soon too."

"I hope.   Because if not, I'm fighting my urge to kick butt."

"It'll be okay," she promised.  She got her into the car and up the coast to the apartment she had above Pepper's garage.

***

Xander woke with a gasp, staring at the room.  "What the hell is that?" he mumbled, looking around.  He got up, holding his eye.  Something was seriously wrong.  He knew what it was because it was way too familiar to him.  He stumbled out of the infirmary and to a transporter, hoping the city would send him where he needed to be.  His axe came back to his hand as he came off the transporter and he lunged into the battle, attacking those not wearing BDU's.

He moved Cougar behind him as he swung on someone, making them scream and run.  Xander growled and followed.  The gateroom was full of fighting people until he lunged in and started to beat him again.  The others stared but Xander wiped out a good seven before they attacked him.  Xander's snarl sounded more happy as he went after those trying to attack him.

"Xander!" John shouted.  "Back down!"

"Evil shits," Xander growled.  He went after the foreign dragons helping and the other two types of shape changers.  They were falling back but the soldiers were following his lead.

"Alexander," John shouted again.  The dragons stared and backed away in fear.  The two changers growled and lunged but Xander gutted one and then ducked the other's swing and backswung to take his spine out.  He moved forward.  The dragons ran off.  The others followed.   John came down to keep him from following across the gateway.  "No."  Xander stared at him, sniffing him.  He calmed himself.  "Thank you," he said quietly.  "You protected what is important to me very well."  He moved closer.  He kissed him on the head. "Go back to the infirmary bed."

"Bad, evil shits," he said bluntly, looking around.

"We got most of them and the guys are getting the rest."  He handed him to Jensen.  "Please put my little brother back in bed."

"Yes, sir."  He walked Xander off, babbling at him to ground him back to reality.

John took a deep breath.  The rest of the problems were dragged in and tossed back.  "Did we miss any?"

"Two are locked in a transporter," Chuck replied.  "I'm waiting on a team to gather them.  They are some of the changers."

Cougar and Evan growled, heading to grab them.  Cougar changed.  Evan stayed human.  They came off trying to fight and realized it was a very bad idea when Clay joined in with Pooch and Evan's team.  They submitted and got thrown back across the gateway too and it was shut down.  John nodded at them.  Clay nodded back.  "Are we going after them?"

"The Genii are problems," John admitted.  "I'd like to some days."  Clay nodded.  "I'm usually inclined to let them kill each other."

"We'll sit guard on the gate while people clean up and calm down," Clay offered more quietly.

"Thank you."  He ordered that and calmed himself down on a pier before going to the infirmary.  Jensen had Xander's axe, cleaning it off for him.  John leaned down next to Xander's ear.  "Next time, let me do more fighting, okay?"  Xander pulled him down to cuddle.  "I like you too, Xander."  He let himself be cuddled and calmed down during it.  Xander purred.  "No, not the hyena.  I want my brother back."  Xander chuffed but licked him on the temple before fading back to the human boy.  Xander blinked at him.  "How's your head?"

"Ow?"

"Better or worse?"

"Head better.  Eye aches like shit.  Back hurts."

"From the battle?"  He nodded.  "Did you wrench it or get hurt?"

"I think hurt but I'll be okay."

"I'm sure you will.  We'll make sure of it.  Let Jensen finish cleaning your axe."

Xander pouted, taking it back.  "Only my mate should and you're not mine."

Jensen kissed him.  "You're sweet enough to be mine."  He watched him fall back asleep, still pinning John.  He pointed and John rolled his eyes but got comfortable.  Evan walked in, staring.  Jensen grinned.  "Xander pulled him down to purr at him."

"Aww.  It's nice when brothers are close."  He hugged Xander, getting one back.  "Thank you."

"'Elcome," he mumbled.  "No more bad guys or I'll sic Mom on 'em."

"I'm sure you will and it'll be epic."  He helped John get free, weathering the pout.  "Want Jensen to cuddle?"

"No, he's not mine."

"I can still cuddle since I don't have a mate either," Jensen promised, moving so Xander could cuddle him.  Xander relaxed back into sleep again.  John smiled and left them alone with Evan.  The doctor came in.  "He's back asleep," he mouthed.

She stared then shook her head.  "I'm glad it's only cuddling."

"Some day that'll be removed," Jensen pointed out.

"Yup, but it's not today."

He shrugged.  "I doubt Xander would want me to bend over for him."

"Good.  We'd miss you when the shrink tries something."  She went to get some supplies and start the mandatory checking over.

Jensen shrugged, hugging him.  A few of the Marines walked in.  "He's asleep," he said quietly.  They smiled.  "He needs it to stay asleep."

"Good of you, Jensen.  He's a nice guy.  Even if he did just growl at people."

"Does he change?" another of the Marines asked.

"No.  He was possessed by a hyena a few years back though."

They just nodded.  This was Pegasus, possession wasn't that strange.  The nurses got them cleaned up.  When the shrink came in they explained it was helping keep him asleep from where he had lost his temper, not Jensen stating a preference.

***

John walked into Dr. Heightmeyer's office, staring at her.  "Xander's not military."

"Corporal Jensen is."

"He's just keeping watch over Xander.  Xander won't stay sedated without someone he trusts there.  They're not together."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I know Xander.  He told Jensen he couldn't clean his battle axe because he wasn't his."  She slumped.  "Your suspicion is dangerous.  Personally, we don't care who you fuck out here as long as it's consensual."  She shuddered, looking down.  "If you do, then we can switch you out.  It can't be good for us to have someone watching us like we're evil."  She slumped so he walked out.  He did write O'Neill a memo about her needing some time off.  And why.

***

Doctor Keller finally let Xander out of her care, staring at him.  "A few more scars," she said, staring at his face.  "Most of the burns are down to peeling.  Your eye will need to heal for another three weeks before you think about a glass one."  He nodded, hugging her.  "Be safer, Xander.  The world needs more guys like you, not less."

"It wasn't my choice to do it this time."

"I know.  You muttered about her most of the time you were up here."  She pinched his injured cheek with a smile.  "It'll be okay but take some time to train without it."  He nodded.  "Say bye to John and everyone then do whatever."

Xander turned to Jensen, getting a hug and a whispered comment, making him grin.  Clay and Cougar shook his hand.  Pooch gave him a manly, backslapping hug.  John just hugged him.  "I'll see you soon, Xander.  You be safer and remember to take the training time."  He stared at him.  "Or I'm telling mom."  Xander shivered, shaking his head.  "Go."

"Thank you, guys.  I'm sorry for all the stress I caused.  Can you apologize to Landry too?"  They nodded and he faded into a shadow, going home for a few minutes.  He walked into Valhalla, reporting to Odin.  "Am I in Sunnydale still?  If there's anything left."

"There's some left."  He stared at him.  "You look good in the patch."

Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Not like it was my intention."

"It was for a better reason than me losing mine, grandson.  Are you all right?"

"I feel like shit," he admitted.  "My head still hurts."  He touched the patch over the bandage then put his hand back down.  "I keep trying to rub it to make it feel better."

"I did for many months."  He smiled.  "You get used to it."

"I need training."

"You do and you'll get it."  Odin smirked.  "Your father is fussing."

"Father helped me get back to earth."

"He told us.  He threw a fit, grandson.  Take him and go?"

"Of course, All Father.  Thank you."  He left, going to be pounced by his father.  "I'm okay."

"I heard what you said."  He stared at him.  "We'll see one of the healers."  He walked him off to do that.  The healer moved the injury closer to being fully healed.  It was a bad one and wouldn't be fully healed for a while.

They let Xander go to another realm to do some light training and catch his balance.   He needed that to make sure he didn't die before he could really retrain himself.  After a few days of that, they sent Xander to earth, which was about the same time he would have appeared if he had went right there.  He nodded at Fury.  "Hey, we match."

Fury smirked.  "She's still in prison until we decide how to kill her."

"I really want to beat her to death," he admitted quietly.  "Buffy?"

"Home.  Finally."

"Dawn?"

"With Pepper."

"Tara?"

"With your uncle and Coulson."

Xander nodded.  "Sunnydale?"

"Your construction job has a lot of work."

"Figures.  Do you need me?"

"No.  We've already agreed to deal with her."

"Thank you.  Let me know?"

"Definitely.  Go check on Joyce."  He nodded and faded out.  Fury relaxed.  Xander felt more powerful now.  Something had clearly happened during that.

***

Xander showed up that night next to his uncle, sitting down in a free chair and getting dealt into the card game by Coulson.  He stole some of his uncle's M&M's for betting.

Thor stared at him.  "Are you better?"

"They moved it forward again."  He looked up.  "I get to retrain a lot of skills."

Thor nodded.  "That's wise.  Heimdall could help."

"I didn't see him when I was up there."  He leaned on the table, checking his cards.  "Is Tara all right?"

"She's much like our women," Thor said with a smirk.

"You hurt or upset Tara and I'm going to stick my axe up your ass, Uncle.  Then spin it like a rotary drill."

"I know.  You are overprotective.  It is who you are."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "The younger one cried on me."

"I love Dawn like a sister too."  He got back to his hand.  "Do I have an apartment still, Coulson?"

"No.  Anya's in New York before you can ask."

"I figured she was somewhere else.  No one's asked me for sex."  He looked at him.  "Roque?"

"Just had some mild burns.  He got healed and sent home.  Landry is pissed off but he realizes you were injured."

Xander nodded.  "I'm not sure I trust him anyway since he was against us getting any help, even with the VP there ordering it."

"Fury heard and let the President throw his fit for him."  Xander grinned.  "The team?"

"Good.  Jensen spent a lot of time with me so I wouldn't react out of nightmares.  Apparently I pinned one of the nurses to the ceiling during a vision."

"That was sweet of them."  He patted him on the hand.  "It'll be okay, Xander."

"Yeah, maybe.  I'm pretty sure it'll be harder than ever to get dates."

"Perhaps but that would mean they're shallow and not worthy of you," Thor told him.

"Well, yeah, but most of my girls really think evil things are good."

"You need a good mate."

"Yeah, I do."  Thor smiled.  "John's planting some of Hera's things."

"Excellent."  He handed him a few more M&M's.  "I know not to play with you, nephew.  You tend to win somehow."  He ate a few of his M&M's.  "I can see why you like these."  Xander grinned.  The girls came in and pounced Xander to hug him.  "It's nice to see good women around him."

Dawn snorted, looking at him.  "If he likes bad girls that much maybe his family should've taught him better."  Xander spanked her.  "Ow!" she joked, hugging him again.  "I'm glad you're okay."

"So am I."  Tara smiled.  "Are we going home soon?"

"Tomorrow.  You need to rest tonight."  He nodded.  The ladies let him win that hand and bring his M&M's with him.  They could curl up with him tonight.

Coulson smiled.  "It's nice that he has girls who care about him."

"It is.  I wonder if I can get Tara up to be a mead server."  He didn't know why the agents were staring at him until a shield on a wall hit him over the head.  "Ow!" he complained, rubbing his head.  "She's scarily starting to remind me of my sisters."  He glared up the hallway but the shield floated up again and got him again.  "Ow!  Wench, stop it!"

"Wasn't me," Dawn quipped loudly.  "I'm sure they're sorry they messed up your man mane."

Thor moaned.  "Women do vex me."

"They do normal men too," one of the agents quipped.  Thor trudged to his room.  The agents shared a smirk and got back to their game.

***

Xander showed up for the trial.  He listened.  He tried to understand.  He didn't but he was trying, like he was trying to keep his temper.  He got up at one point and walked out shaking his head.  He went to the bathroom to splash water on his face then went back in there.

"Mr. Harris, we called you as a witness for your statement," the judge announced.  "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, walking up there.  He stared at her then he took off the bandages he had kept on under his patch.  He didn't want to look at his face.  He was sure she didn't want to.  He put the patch on the judges' table and then the bandages, looking at her.  She gasped, staring at the hole and the scar tissue.  "You did this because you got mad that I told you to butt out of something that was none of your business."

"I...."

He held up a hand, moving closer, making sure she saw the damage.  "You caught me planting flowers for Tara, flowers special to Hera and good luck.  When I told you to butt out because it didn't concern you, you threw a hissy.  And when your hissy got dangerous, we confined you.  Because we sure as hell didn't want another incident due to your addiction issues."  He made her look at him.  "You caused this damage, a whole lot of damage to me and others, because you are spoiled."  She started to cry.

"You killed seven hundred and three people in your addiction hissy fit, Willow.  Over some pretty, nice, special, good omen flowers being planted."  He let her chin go.  "I hope like hell that they find somewhere good for you to serve the rest of your life.  Because when I woke up, wherever in the universe you had sent me, I would've killed you.  You nearly killed Buffy shifting her.  Then she got attacked.  She nearly died.  I nearly died.

"If I hadn't been able to get someone higher up for the general to be beaten over the head by, I would have died there.  You nearly killed your best friends over *flowers*."  He stared at her.  "There is nothing you can do to make up for all this, Willow.  Your shit does stink, no matter what your parents told you.  You're an addict and the worst kind.  You're worse than the drunk driver who plows into a family and kills them all.  Hell, you did something worse than homicidal drug lords who have destroyed *countries*.  All because of some flowers."

He stared at her.  "I'm not sure if they'd let me but if they can't find a place for you, and the sentence is death, there's every chance I'll be there.  I vowed after Jesse and Angel that she would not have to take out one of us if we ever got turned.  You've turned into an evil that not even Satan wants."  He walked back to the table.  "I think if she could be blocked from using her skills, she has useful skills that could help someone like my uncle or other heros.  I worry about her powers and those things that addicted her.  I worry that she'll do it again, but I also know that the new group you're putting together can learn from her mistakes and they need someone to help them research."

He swallowed.  "I know how much damage she's done.  I saw it in graphic detail due to a vision when I was down."  The judge nodded.  "I still want to kill her.  I can't even look at myself in a mirror anymore.  I might never be able to."  She burst out crying.  He closed his eyes and then opened them, looking at him.  "She's a good lesson that others need to learn and she can be useful if you let her."

"Do you really think she can remake herself?" Nick Fury asked from beside the judge.

Xander shrugged.  "I think that's up to her to renounce her problems, fix that shit, and then learn how to do good again.  If not, then I think she's a danger to humanity," he said honestly.  "I believe that would be her choice though and while I think she might make one out of panic, if you have someone help her make an informed choice it would be hers instead of ours," he finished more quietly.  "Because I don't think Sunnydale can take many more deaths at the moment."

Nick nodded.  "I can agree with her having an informed choice if we give her one.  Do you believe that she can reform herself?"

"I think she has to be shown how to willingly block all of her magic and then it can be enforced.  Because even right now she's got control of the Sunnydale hellmouth's power."  A few in the crowd gasped.  "I can feel it in her.  Yes, she has problems.  A shitload of problems.  Then again."  He pointed at Tony Stark.  "So did he and he made a conscious choice.  I think if she's given a real choice with real knowledge she'll know.  And she knows what will happen if she chooses to help and fails to find control."

Fury looked at Stark.  "You've struggled for years with your alcoholism."  He nodded.  "Do you think this sort of addiction is harder or easier to cure?"

"Harder.  She can pull up magic just by walking past something with it in it.  Her addiction blinds her to when she's doing it, unlike me being able to avoid places where drinking is going on.  While I agree with the kid's viewpoint, she could be invaluable, I personally don't trust her not to do it again.  I saw that damage.  She destroyed more people than have been killed in smaller civil wars.  Not all of them are dead but they've all been destroyed."

Nick Fury nodded.  "I can agree with that."  He looked at the boy.  "I would never ask you to do something like that."

Xander nodded.  "It's still my duty."

"No, it's our duty, Xander.  Yours is to protect.  In this manner, the protection has to come from someone outside the group or it'll eat you."  He reached over to adjust the eyepatch for him.  "It needs to be a bit bigger."  He smiled.  "Dismissed."  He nodded and left.  Nick Fury looked at the crying girl and her parents.  They were sitting there stony faced like Willow was a distant relative.  Yeah he'd be talking to them later.  He called the next witness to give a statement.  That was Buffy.  She looked at Willow, then burst out crying and walked off shaking her head.  Dawn followed her to calm her down.  Xander was already hugging her.

Dawn hugged her free side.  "Mommy wouldn't have let there be a trial," she said quietly.  "She would've beaten her to death already."  Buffy hiccuped but nodded, pulling Dawn around to hold too.

"We'll figure it out," Xander promised.  Tara walked out and he grabbed her to hug too.  Buffy hugged her tightly.  Tara relaxed.  "You're still ours, Tara."  She nodded, relaxing somewhat.

Dawn felt her phone go off and grabbed it to look at.  "Crap.  That can't be today."  She looked at her sister.

"You go learn how to do important things for people.  I'll be around later."

"I'll be in Amsterdam later," she admitted.  "But I'll be back Tuesday."

"That'll work.  Come see me and Mom."  Dawn nodded and jogged off, grabbing Tony on the way.  She held up her phone so he could see the message.  He winced and nodded, following her.  She got them back to the office so they could leave properly and without suspicion.

***

Xander looked up from his pie eating when someone sat across from him.  "Hey, Cordy."

She stared at him.  "You need a bigger patch."

"I can't find one and can you please quit staring?  It's bad enough when little kids do it."  She shrugged but handed over one.  He grinned.  "Thanks.  I'll switch it out when I won't gross anyone out."

She smacked him on the side of the head.  "Dork.  Not everyone's staring at you."

The waitress came by to get her some coffee.  "Please don't change the eyepatch at the table, sir.  This is a dining establishment," she said quietly.  "We have a bathroom in the back."  She pointed and walked off.

He looked at her, eating the bite of pie on his spoon.

"Okay, fine," she sighed.  "They'll get over it."  He shrugged, looking down again.  "Any news?"

"Not yet.  Though I have heard from her parents, who are blaming me for some reason."  He cut off another piece and ate it.  "I told them to blow me, it was their own fault for not teaching her how not to be a junkie.  If they had done a better job, she might not have been so eager to show off and gather things to let her feel necessary and powerful."

"You know, you could point out the issues that come from your parents."

"I did something in front of them and they sneered like I'm the abnormal one."  He stuffed his mouth again.  "It's good pie."

"Yeah, they do make good pie here."  She got her usual when the waitress came back.  They ate for a few minutes.  "How's Buffy healing?"

"Not good.  She's fully healed but it shook her some."

"It proved she was mortal.   Last time she barely died and you saved her.  This time you were a bit concerned about saving yourself."  He nodded, stuffing his mouth again.  "Are you going to be all right?"

"Some year."  He shrugged.  "Shit," he muttered, spotting an incoming problem.   He put money on the table for the check.  He caught her look and glanced in the mirror, making her grimace.  "So," he sighed. "How's work?"

"That night, someone came in wailing that something had happened.  It took us two days to find out what, Xander."

"You forced our daughter into things!" Mrs. Rosenburg shouted, stomping over to them.  "How dare you!"

"Bitch, she damaged me because I wouldn't let her have her way about some stupid goddamn flowers.  Your daughter's a spoiled bitch because you are.  Maybe if you had been *home* more often instead of always off at conferences it might've made a difference.  Instead, you left her alone starting when she was *six* *years* *old*.   You left her alone for months on end!  And then you dare tell people how to raise kids?  Why does anyone listen to you?"  She slapped him and he got up, staring down at her.

"You're a worthless parent.  Your daughter killed over seven hundred people because I didn't want to give in to her over some *flowers*.  That's all.  She killed half a town over some flowers.  Aren't you proud?"  She tried to hit him again but he caught her hand.  "Don't even."  She pulled away, looking scared.  "Go.  Away."  She stomped off to her husband's side, who was calling the cops.  He looked at the waitress.  "Do the cameras work?"

"Yes, sir.  I can make sure any cops that show up see that as well.  Are you two done?"

"No, they're not," Nick Fury said as he walked in, getting a few awed looks.  "Sit, kids."  They sat.  Xander paid the waitress anyway.  He looked at the Rosenburgs.  "Anyplace else and the way you left her for months on end as a young child would've gotten you arrested.  I'm shocked someone didn't.  I will be making sure that everyone who reads your trashy excuses for helpful books on raising kids knows that."  She burst out crying and left.  He followed.  An officer walked in.  "They started it."

"We have a closed circuit system, Officer," the waitress said.  He nodded, letting her lead him to it to view it and take a copy of the tape.

Nick Fury sat down, looking at him.  "I'm not sure that we should even give her the choice."

"If you don't, Buffy will think it's her fault for years.  So will Giles.  Because we didn't stop her."

"I get that," he said.  "I really do.  But what if she chooses to try and fails?"

"Then she's got to know that she's gone," Cordelia said.  "Angel said he'd do it, Xander.  I know you think it's your job but he'll eat her.  Him, Spike, hell Dru called and asked if she could have her."

"Dru might change her," Xander admitted.  He looked at him.  "If you don't, it'll weigh on them for years."

"I know."  He smiled at the officer coming back from the office.  "He's sorry he yelled back."

"Sir, who is her daughter?"

"She's under federal trial for that explosion upstate," Fury said.  "I'm sitting on it and we're talking about the options of life and death."

The officer nodded.  "They do what?"

"That's Sheila Rosenburg and her husband.  They write books on how to raise kids.  They keep mentioning exemptions for genius kids, which they used on their daughter.  They left her alone so often she was surprised when they were home.  I know this because we were best friends and I used to hide from my drunk parents there."

He nodded.  "She's on trial?"

"Right now," Fury said.

"Thank you.  I'll make them go somewhere else."

Xander snorted.  "You can point out it's transference of guilt and denial on their parts.  She's always been too special according to them.  Smart so she has to do extra or take more classes.  Really good in computers so she learned how to hack to get back at them.  They were proud when she was asked to teach a computer class after the teacher got killed.  Then our group and they said it was just a rebellion."  He nodded, leaving them alone.  He looked at him.

"Oz is the better hacker," Fury said.

"He's in Tibet."

"Yeah, I heard that."  He sighed, leaning back, looking at him.  "She's a good example but she's damn dangerous, Xander."

"I know.  Since she's firmly gay, make her part of Thor's team?"  Cordelia's mouth flopped open.  He smirked.  Then at Fury.  "He definitely won't put up with shit.  Women in Valhalla aren't like her.  She'll teach him women's lib and he'll beat her ass if he must."

"His girlfriend would complain."

"I know.  He introduced me."  He leaned on the table with a sigh.  "I don't know.  Have someone who can do minds stare into hers?"

"That's not a bad idea.  I can ask one for an evaluation."  He stared at him.  "If she's too dangerous...."

"Then she should be put down for the safety of everyone.  Before we have another apocalypse thanks to her," he agreed quietly.  "And if I have to, I will."

"No, I won't let that be on anyone's conscience."

Xander smiled sadly.  "We had a best friend that was turned right after Buffy got to Sunnydale."

"Damn."

"Yeah," Xander sighed, pointing at Cordelia.  "To save her and I hated her in those days."  She moaned, shaking her head.  "I should."

"No, you shouldn't.  You should spend more time retraining."

"I am."

"Good."  He stared at him.  "I'll have someone look.  I have to say, the younger mouthy Summers woman was all for kicking her butt."

"So am I," Xander admitted.  "But I might not stop."

"Why did she pull Roque there?"

He shrugged.  "I'm guessing that even after all this time and him being...hitched now he's still my phone-a-friend."

"You need your own."

"It's going to be a long time before I can date."  He took Cordelia's pie to inhale, then looked at her.  "Anya took one look at me and started to cry, and left.  I haven't heard from her in four days."

She growled.  "That fucking bitch."

"Well, it didn't get her powers back," he sighed.  He looked at Fury.  "There's not a whole lot of hope of getting more than laid for a long time."

"Yeah, I felt that way for a few months too and then I moved on."

"Right now I have to find a new job because I can't measure anymore.  My boss said so earlier today."

"You can work on that," he decided.  Xander shrugged.  "Are there other crews?"

"They all think the missing eye is too much damage to work with heavy power tools.  The state wants to take my license."

"That sucks," he decided.  "I don't know but you'll find something, kid."

"I hope."

"I know you will.  You're too resourceful for anything else."  Xander nodded at that. "Even if it's not perfect."

"That also means I'd have to move.  Well, I have to move anyway," he said dryly.

"FEMA is stepping in."

"That could help for a bit," Xander admitted.  "Plus the insurance money.  I filed for that earlier and my insurance guy was moaning in pain because of my life insurance and injury policies."  He leaned back again.  "Right now, I have no idea."

"Your parents?" Cordelia asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Their insurance?"

"Them, keep up with payments?"

"Good point.  No hope?"

"I asked, they let it lapse over a year ago."  He yawned, covering his mouth.  "Other than that, my mind's stuck in place."

"Are you guys going back?" Fury asked.

Xander looked at him.  "Yeah, I saw about the upswing in violence.  I also saw a picture of Captain Commando Ate My Neck."

"I'm having them recalled.  Also, Landry wants to yell at you some more."

Xander stared at him.  "Is that really my fault?"

"No but he's uptight.  We have to keep the peace."

"Right now, someone yelling at me will make me snap and then there'll be a mess, Agent Fury.  I don't know if I'd need my axe for it...."

"I'll tell O'Neill that.  Are you all right otherwise?"

"No."

"At least you're honest."

"Most of the time."  He sighed, leaning on his arms.  "I have no idea what to do next."

"Next, you go home, go to bed," Cordelia said.  "Or wherever and sleep."

"Take the night off training at home," Fury added, giving him a look.

"As soon as I do there'll be an attack," Xander shot back.

"Probably, yeah.  Here or there.  Neither of you are ready to handle things yet."  He stared at the boy, who only shrugged.  "I've got a whole agency full of people who say they're bored.  I think we can have some of them go patrol.  I can even ask your uncle to go help."  Xander quirked up a brow but winced and used the other side.  Fury smirked.  "Go rest, kids."  Xander and Cordelia both moaned, holding their heads.  "In unison?  That's a gift," he said dryly.

Cordelia came out first, squinting at Xander.  "The old guy?  He's an ass but you can't destroy him."

Xander blinked at her, wiping away the tears.  "Fury, FEMA's going to pull shit on Wolfram and Hart's orders."  He looked at him.  "I'm going to end up in the mood to pull out weapons.  I probably will when the insurance agents are told not to pay out."

"FEMA is run by other people," Fury said dryly.

"Yeah, who're scared to death of you since Wolfram and Hart has him on a chain.  And later on, when we have a natural disaster like a hurricane in New Orleans in a few years, they're going to screw the people over there too.  It's going to take years to rebuild and I'm going to have to do something about the great evil."

"I thought that was our job," Cordelia complained.

"Apparently not since they're deciding to take advantage and screw with Sunnydale."  Someone walked in and plopped down beside him.  "You can buy your own pie."

"Yes I can," he said smugly.  Rhodey smirked at Fury.  "Stark's out hunting?"  Just because they were friends and design partners at times didn't mean they told him anything.  If there was a problem, he wanted to help and people were keeping things from him.

"Can I borrow a suit for two days?" Xander asked him.

"Probably not," Rhodey said smugly.  "It'd take longer to train you."

Xander nodded.  "Then I'll do it my way."  He smirked.  "If you'll talk to FEMA and the people who're trying to pressure the insurance people, which would include some demon cocksucking politicians, I'd be very happy to go destroy for you."

"Kid, what can you do?" Rhodey asked.  "You're a lot like me, a sidekick."

Cordelia burst out laughing.  "Have you been listening to Buffy?  I mean, seriously?"  Xander smirked and faded out into the shadows.  "Oooh, pity.  Well I guess we'll get a few weeks off dealing with the lawyers that serve hell."  She smirked at the agent.  "By the way, this is him being in pain.  And have whatever bald guy used to run that project show up for the debriefing."  Fury nodded at that.  "It'll go a lot smoother and the mountain won't cave in."  She smirked and got up, heading out since Xander had paid for her pie too.

"What is he hunting?" Fury asked.

"I don't know but I saw him out flying around."

"That's strange.  I haven't heard of any threats."  They all paused as an earthquake started and stopped pretty quickly.

"Was that the kid?"

"I don't think quakes are his area," he admitted.  "Though he is the son of Loki so there's no telling what he made go screw up."  He got onto the local news servers, watching for information on either source.  "Stark's blowing off steam.  He's doing some showing off flying with a new jet design."  He kept going, wincing.  "Tunnelers."  He shook his head.  "Their whole block went down and their weapons were there, though the LAPD somehow lost track of half of them already."

"He likes weapons?"

"Yeah, and if Chase was right, he's in pain and not real rational right now."  They shared a look.  Fury took the bigger eyepatch to hand to the kid when he stopped him from destroying parts of the state.  Not that he'd mind but it'd bring attention to them.

***

Xander shadow faded after he got back from the training time off-plane, looking around the area he landed in.  It was pretty and daylight here.  Back in LA it was the middle of the night.  He walked up to the gates.  "I need to talk to someone learning here," he told the two watching werewolves on duty.

"We do not allow outsiders."

"I'm Alexander.  The priests know of me."  The one in charge called the pack leader to tell him that, and he asked the head priest, and the priest said to let him in.  "Thank you."  He walked in and up to the temple.  The other weres were watching him.  He smiled at one young one, patting her on the head.  "You have years of running yet, pup.  You should be somewhere kinder."  She ran off to her father's side.  Xander nodded at him, getting a smirk back.  He walked up to the temple's stairs, nodding at the pack's leader and the head priest.  "Soloman."

"Alexander.  You are injured.  Do you come to rest?"

"I could use some but no.  I come to notify someone."

"One young one has a shirt that smells like you," the pack leader said.

"That's because he was the boyfriend of my former best friend.  Which is why we have to talk, Pack Elder."  He stared at him.  "I'd never harm the temple or the pack.  I've defended it in the far distant past."  The were stared at him.  He smiled.  "There used to be a mural in one of the meditation rooms."

"There still is," the priest admitted with a smile.  "The young one you seek is in the back woods somewhere."

"I can find him."  He bowed and walked into a shadow, shifting off to find Oz.  He was in the middle of a clearing, eyes closed.  "Felt me coming?" he joked as he walked out of the nearest shadow.

"I felt something, might be hellmouthy," Oz said, looking at him.  He blinked a few times.  "Tired?"

"Quite."  He sat down in front of him.  "I'm here to notify you of some stuff, Oz."

"Possessed?"

"No.  I've always been this way.  I just couldn't tell the girls that."  He stared at him.  "I'm the same Xander I always was.  Even during that acid tea thing during my roadtrip."  Oz smiled slightly and nodded.  Xander sighed.  "It's not happy news, Oz."  Oz nodded he realized that.  "Willow...  You saw her get too wrapped up in it?"

"Addicted?" he asked.

"Fully.  I know you guys don't get the news over here."  He swallowed and told him what had happened.  Oz stared back and nodded at the end.  "They're still arguing about whether or not she'll have a chance to redeem herself."

Oz considered that then nodded.  "She's special to the Wolf."

"She's special to my hyena too.  There's every chance you'll feel it if they do."  He stared into his eyes, getting a nod back.  "If you need me, you call and I'll come."

"I know."  He patted his injured cheek.  "You need more rest."

"I know."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "I hate being the messenger but you needed to hear it from one of us."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem, Oz.  You're a friend."  He smiled at him.  "Some day you'll be able to run free because you want to run free, when you want to run free, and you'll keep yourself in control."  He got up and walked into the shadows, heading back to LA.

Oz meditated on that news and got in touch with his wolf about her soon dying.  There was no way someone sane would let her redeem herself after that death count.  Not with the reason it had happened.  The pack leader's wife found him later that night and he stared at her.  "She's going to die."

"She's not your mate, Oz. You never marked her.  You said you didn't."

"I didn't," he said.  "There was always the doubt that magic was more important in her life."

"Now you know."  He nodded, staring at the stars.  "It's dinner.  Come eat."

He got up and followed her back to his part of the camp.  He had something to nibble on even though his stomach was in knots.  "Will I know?"

"If she's part of your pack, you'll know.  You'll feel it, and it'll hurt, but it's not like a mate's death would affect you," she soothed, giving him a hug.  He nodded and she left him to grieve in advance.  She told her husband.  He told the guards to be aware that Oz was going to be losing part of his pack soon so they could help him when it was time.  It was the only thing they could do to cushion it for him.

***

Xander smiled at the two warring people the next day, whistling to get their attention.  "You guys can't do that.  That's against the law.  I will be suing and if you really want to close Sunnydale that completely I can do that."

The FEMA guy laughed nervously.  "You know the one who set off that problem?"

"Yeah.  She's the reason I'm missing the eye."

"Then you should sue her."

"She doesn't have money.  She's also in federal custody.  But if you're really intent on taking down the city, I can do that for you.  That way you can go back to your demon cocksucking duties.  Or are you a ball licker?"  The man went red and opened his mouth.  "Don't start.  We have a slayer here."  The man backed up.  "I'm on her team.  She's behind you."  He looked and whimpered.  "Now, you can do what you're supposed to do by law or I'm going to make all of you fucking suffer.  After all, I have the right to sink this damn town if I want."

"Maybe you should move," the insurance guy offered with a smile.

"I was born here.  What's your excuse?"  The man swallowed nervously.  "Yeah, I'm still a Harris."  He smirked.  "I already have half the town mined with discreet, high impact explosives.  I need to do a bit by the college but then the college could buy the rest and make it a wonderfully nice campus.  Maybe even start a botany program to plant wonderful things."

"Xander, take some advil," Buffy complained.  "You can't blow up Sunnydale if I can't help."

"I'll let you push the button," he offered with a grin.  He pulled some of his new babies to him, petting them.  "Well, gentlemen?"  They both looked nervous.  "What's it going to be?  Your demon cocksucking masters' ways or the legal one that means I quit being pissed off?"  They fixed the paperwork then and there for him.  "Thank you!  I'd advise you to send people who aren't in thrall.  Or kill the people who are."  He walked off, putting the artillery back.

"Xander, you have that meeting," she called.  "And you still need pain killers."  He flipped her off as he faded into the shadows.  "Oooh, yeah, he's pissed.  Did you have to make my patrol tonight harder?" she demanded, swatting the FEMA guy.  "Half of the demons in town are already scared of him because he's bouncy and mean when he's in pain."  She stomped off.  "My mother wants to speak to you both.  She's in LA in the hospital."  Xander came back and took them both to Joyce's room so she could scream at them.  "That's really handy," Buffy decided, going to get a milkshake.

Xander showed back up in Colorado.  "Sorry, had to move the FEMA guy and the insurance guy so our might-as-well-be mother can yell at them from her hospital bed."  He smiled.

"Mr. Harris, how do you feel?" Doctor Lam asked.

"I'm in shitloads of pain and it feels like there's something digging into my eye," he admitted.  "Which sucks majorly.  I know you're brilliant and you did what you could.  Thank you for trying."  She smiled and let him hug her.  "I'm sorry about the whole vision thing."

"It happens I'm told.  Sit, let's talk."  Xander sat down next to her.  She looked under the patch, grimacing.  "The digging feeling is probably the scar tissue forming and being a bit tight."  He whimpered.  "We can fix that later, or a really good surgeon can."  He nodded and she let him go.  "How are you related to John Sheppard?"

"We share a mother."

"He's your big brother?" she asked.

He could protect John and his duty/job easily enough with a tiny lie.  They didn't need to know that much about John unless John wanted them to.  "We joke he's my big brother because if I said he was my younger one when I look like this, people would start to question things.  Thanks to our mother, I have the gift of deaging to fit in better.  Which is very handy as a warrior.  If I looked like either general in here with us, I'd be in a lot worse shape when things happened."

"I can see that point.  How far back can you go?" she asked.

"I usually go back to early twenties so I don't have problems but when I'm sick I can't always stop it that easily.  This last time I went back to a year old and got sent to a foster family automatically by the spell.  It always picks someone who's related to the lineage somehow.  It's a failsafe."

"I can understand that.  What were you sick with?"

"It felt like the plague.  I've had that once before but I think it was some sort of ebola light thingy since I was dying of the bleeding. Though I'd come back but still be sick.  Deaging meant I could break that and I was about forty anyway.  To old to be getting into battles."

"Age isn't always a factor," General O'Neill said.

"It is when your people use swords and battle axes."

"That could be, yeah."  He smirked.  "You knew about Atlantis?"

"Yeah.  I keep tabs on John through the demon community and others.  When I heard about the wraith and someone reminded me to ask, I asked the families for any information on those subjects for him."

"That's how they got those books," Landry said.  Xander nodded.  "How did you get up there while you were in surgery?"

"I was having a vision about him being attacked and the shadow shifting is a gift that comes with my hereditary duty.  Which is from my father's family.  Mom has a wicked sense of timing when she gets drunk and friendly.  I came from mead.  John came from some nice Greek wine."  O'Neill snorted, shaking his head.  Xander shrugged.  "It happens."

"It does," he agreed.

"Visions aren't real," Landry said.

Xander stared at him.  "Yes they are and you've seen evidence of it when your former posting took over the Initiative's crappile of misguided information.  By the way, when they were torturing Oz they made some wrong assumptions.  Oz's specialness is because he found a way to control it.  He's not the average."

"So you know about all that stuff," Landry said flatly.

"I grew up this time in Sunnydale.  When a slayer got sent to us, I stepped in to help her.  Not that I didn't know how to hunt demons before then but I did have a learning curve based on growth spurts and things.  Plus trying to hide my identity because that would lead to me being attacked."

"I can understand that reason," O'Neill said.  "How did you get to that other place?"

"Willow."

"What?" O'Neill asked.

"Rosenburg.  The same reason I'm missing the eye, General, and why half of my town got blown up.  That was her losing her temper and throwing a hissy."

"Oh.  What's she doing now?"

"They're debating life and death for her."

"Good!"  He stared at him.  "Who has her?"

"SHIELD."

"Even better."  He stared at him.

"We should've kept you on some pain killers for longer," Doctor Lam complained.

"It makes me fuzzy headed and I have enough to deal with right now.  Thank you though.  If I didn't have to rebuild a life, I'd gladly take you up on it."  She patted his arm.  "It's kinda sucky.  Thanks to her, I have no job anymore, no town, no apartment, almost no stuff, no car.  The state wants to take away my license because of my eye.  My job won't hire me back because they say it's too dangerous around power tools.

"I have no idea where I'm going from here.  Beyond the fact that I'm going to finish destroying that demon law firm later.  Then maybe I'll move to Canada.  I'll look scruffy in no time and people can stare at me for more than the eye patch.  I might even get to scare little kids so they won't stare.  I can look like Wolverine within weeks, only without the claws."

Doctor Lam hugged him.  "It'll be all right.  I promise."  He shook his head.  "Yes it will be."  She winced when the alarm went off.  "Please let that not be a threat."

Xander sensed.  "No, it's the partially ascended one and some people, one of which he's pissed at."  She laughed, pinching him on the cheek.  "Thank you."

"It's a normal reaction, Xander."

General Landry cleared his throat.  "I still don't believe in visions."

Xander shrugged.  "That's your issue since I had one up there and got up out of a sick bed, partially sedated because I kept waking up whenever anyone came near me, and went to fight the Genii with my brother."  Landry dropped his pen, staring at him.  Xander stared back.  "It was a vision that prompted me to get up and do that."

"That axe you have," O'Neill said.  "Since I saw video of that.  I got sent the surveillance tapes, Hank.  I'll show you later."

"That's my blessed weapon from the All Father."

Landry blinked.  "Odin?  The real Odin?"

"Well, yeah, if Loki's my father then I have other relatives up there," he said dryly.  "Can't have one without the other."

"You're an intolerable smartass, Harris," Landry said.

Xander stared at him.  "And you're still possessed by whatever, General.  I'm not in your project and while I thank you for helping me when I got sent there, even if my father did have to force you to help me, I don't have to be bitched at.  I have many people I can go destroy to make myself feel better today."  Someone knocked and walked in.  "Doctor Jackson.  If I never said it, thank you for that body lending for the few moments."

"You're welcome.  Do you know these warriors?"

"I suggested that they should come talk to O'Neill since we all know about the Supposed Ones.  Some of us even used to drink with some of the younger ones when we were younger.  Was there a problem with one?  I can talk to them."

"They're a bit.... pig headed."

"Yeah, that's a common thing.  Like how you never hear about women in any of the Norse myths unless they were really special?  Another failing that needs to be cured quickly.  Other than that they were picked for being good warriors."

"They're excellent for that but they're very vocal about some things."

Xander nodded, getting up to follow him back there.  "Warriors."

"Alexander," one said, standing up.  "Why are you here?"

"What happened to your eye?" another demanded, moving closer.

"Same answer.  A witch that had problems lost her temper and blew up a town."  They stared at him.  "Ask Doctor Jackson before spouting off things *we* know that most people won't.  Especially if they were stolen by the Pretenders.  They might not know and you could cause a lot of civil damage that way."  They nodded.  "We're counting on you to train yourselves to help me protect your peoples."

"We will," the oldest said.  "Are you still fit to fight?"

"I'm retraining with the injury.  I'm hoping when I deage next time it comes back."  They all nodded.  "Though, Odin made a joke about it."  A few shuddered.  Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Exactly.  So make me proud."  They nodded.  "Good boys.  None of the female warriors?"

"They should be at home," one said firmly.  "Having our children."

"To humans, females can be warriors," Xander pointed out dryly.  "I work with one of those myself."

"No wonder you didn't marry," the eldest said.

"No, I nearly married but Freya had a hand in it."  They all moaned and a few prayed to her to leave them alone.  "Exactly.  Train hard and we'll talk about my half-brother's posting sometime soon."

"Your sister who acts and talks like a man?" the eldest asked.

"No, John.  Other side of the family."

"Oh!"  They all nodded and smiled.

"He's always been much nicer than your sister/brother."

Xander shrugged.  "Dad fucked up her mom.  What did you expect from him?"

"Good point," they agreed.

"Beyond that, she's got a lovely wife that she adores.  I envy her that true mate."  He smiled.  "Make me proud.  Do what you can to help.  Learn what you can of new military strategies for the next time the giants decide to act."  They all nodded.  "Thank you."  He went back to the conference room by the shadows.  "They'll talk to Doctor Jackson first since not everyone would know what we do and it could cause harm."  He stared at the new person.  "Cordelia said you should be here, General...."

"Hammond.  This was originally my project, Mr. Harris.  Why are you here?"

Landry handed him the reports.  "I was making sure it wouldn't happen again."

Hammond sat down and so did the boy, letting the doctor check him over again.  He looked up.  "Any lasting injuries beyond the eye?"

"Isn't that bad enough?"

"Yes it is, son."  Xander relaxed slightly.  "I'm not the mean one.  That's Jack."  He nodded at O'Neill.

"He's been working with Agent Fury to get some people I know up to your city."

"I heard about that and that they've been a great credit to the project."  He smiled.  "Do we think it can happen again?"

"The only one I know who is strong enough is Dawn and she's being mentored right now while her mom's in the hospital.  She had a sudden onset brain tumor."

He nodded once.  "That truly sucks, kid."  Xander nodded.  "I know it's been suggested that we move our training facility out that way."

"We're working on calming things down but I nearly bombed the town earlier.  I do have high impact charges all around the area below the campus.  Even then your people would be safe.  I figured the campus could buy it up and make a nicer campus."

"Possibly," he agreed dryly.  "You were a bit harsh on him.  We're not really used to people showing up that way.  He was probably a bit flustered."

"Even when the VP told him to?" Xander asked dryly.  "And he said no?"

Hammond looked at Landry.  "I was not told that part."  He called him, walking off to get a report on that situation.  He came back a few minutes later.  "Those warriors are very good fighters."  Xander smiled.  "Teal'c seems to like having them as well, he said that they're more like his people."   He sat down.  "By the way, your father says hello.  Apparently they were having breakfast."

"Dad and I don't really get along, though I was very thankful that he stepped in that time."

Hammond nodded.  "Having a parent like that might be odd at times."

"That and he tried to use me for a few plots."

"Ah, yes, that can be another downside of having someone who has ambition as a parent."  He stared at him.  "Is there anything we should know about that team?"  Xander looked clueless.  "It was noted that the former member and you were close?"

"Yeah, that was a plot by my father.  He tried to marry me off to Roque but we didn't work.  I just helped set him up with his thing."

"Is his thing military?"

"No comment."

"I can see why."

"And even if they were doing what you're thinking, they're not presently military."

"Also a good point."  He smiled.  "I hate that law, Xander."

"So do I."  He smirked.  "But I still won't break it for anyone."

"That whole team's new status is something that the higher ups won't like."

"If they hear, someone has a leak," Xander pointed out.

"True."  He smirked.  "It's nice you can think tactically."

"Beyond that, the army and other agencies used them in the 'I don't know you exist' things.  That would probably make them more effective.  Most generals that would think tactically would really only care that this made them better."

"I know a few who would and one that would complain to God."

"It wasn't his fault he was bitten on a rescue mission."  The general gave him a pointed look and Xander smirked back.  "They may know about other things as well.  No idea and not really fond of the army after the Initiative mess anyway."  He smirked.  "I saw some of their supposed best.  I like these ones a lot better."

"Us too.  I went over those files and I got sick."

Xander nodded.  "Us too."

"Yet your team handed someone over?"

"Giles.  Not me.  He was tormenting Giles and that was Giles' decision.  Which I did not like.  Which is why he managed to sneak and get free."

"Yes he did.  It took a few days but he did."  Xander nodded.  "Indirect?"

"Yeah.  It was the best I could do.  Sadly they still think I'm really normal."  Hammond snickered.  "Buffy actually started on that until her mother swatted her the other day."  He shifted and grimaced.  "The duty's not pretty.  I'm sure you have your own version of that."

"We do," he agreed.

"We hate it like hell," O'Neill agreed.

Landry looked at them.  "We don't have units like that anymore."

"No, you cut them to Atlantis," Jack told him.  "What is in him?"

"I'm not fully sure," Xander admitted.  "But I think it was a person.  I can almost see a double image but that could be the headache again.  And ow, that digging."  He rubbed around the socket.  The doctor looked and found a piece of glass, which made him wince.  "Debris?"

"Yup.  Want me to knock you out and get it?"  He sighed but nodded.  "I'll do it as lightly as I can, Xander."  She got a small tray sent up with a nurse.  They knocked him out and removed that, which made all three generals grimace.  She found a few little things too and got them as well.

Nick Fury knocked and walked in, grimacing.  "Figures he still has shrapnel."

"It's working its way out."  She finished up, rinsed it out, dried him off, put back on the patch, and let him wake up on his own, even though he was nicely cuddling her shoulder and purring at her.  It was sweet of the boy.

"I like the kid," Jack said.

"He scarily reminds me of you, Jack," Hammond said dryly, looking at him.  "Which is why I'm sure Agent Fury has a tums bill like I did."

"He's nothing against the others we have in hand," Fury said dryly.  He stared at Landry, who was slack jawed.  "Can I have that fixed?"  He called someone and she sent back how to fix it and that she was majorly busy.  He let the doctor see it.  She grimaced but did it for him.  Landry shook himself and gave them confused looks.  "You back?"

"I am.  Though I've been watching.  He's still a smartass."

"Who was it?" Hammond asked.

"Kinsey."

"Eww," Jack muttered.  "That's a sickening thought.  Nearly as bad as him having sex."  Hammond glared so he shrugged.  "It is."  The doctor snickered, sitting down.  The boy quit pouting and rested against her shoulder again, purring at her and petting her hair.  Jack grinned.  "He's cute, Doc."

"He's very sweet."

"He's single and you'd be the nicest woman he's ever dated," Fury said.  "Most of his have been a bit evil.  His last one stomped off crying after seeing his eye."

She smiled.  "I'll consider it."  She petted him back and he quit purring, just hugging her instead.  "Such a good boy, Xander.  You're very sweet."  He burped but muttered something in Norse.  She smiled.  "I'm hoping that was an 'excuse me'."  Fury nodded.  "So what are we going to do about things?"

"Well, he got some demons to destroy the foundations of a building last night," Fury said dryly.  "But they were evil lawyers."

"Stereotyping?" Jack quipped.

"No, they worked for the bad demons.  He took half their artillery, which I really need to confiscate."

"He said he had his town mined with explosives."

Fury nodded.  "Good."  They all gaped.  He pulled up stats on the town, letting them see it.  "With him and the slayer patrolling nearly nightly.  I compared his to our plan and his was nicer."  Jack shuddered.  "Which is why I thought moving your training center there might help things."

"How about we just take over the town and use it for a training base?" Jack suggested.  "With the underground tunnels I'm sure they have, it'd be good to train a lot of people there."

"If we could seal the hellmouth more firmly shut, I'd agree," Fury admitted.  Xander woke with a snort and a blink, giving the doctor a shy grin.  She smiled back and patted him on the hand.  He sat up, stretching.  "Feel better?"

"Much."  She pointed at the pile of debris, making him grimace.  "Much more?"

"I didn't see any, Xander."  He beamed at her.  "Does your town have underground tunnels?"

"You mean besides the abnormally large sewer system pipes and the apartment complex?" he asked.

Fury stared at him.  "Our maps...."

"Google maps is *so* wrong."  He pulled out his phone to get into that file, letting him see it.  Fury projected it via his own super phone so the others could see things.  "I have it mined to here."

"Good!" Fury assured him.  "That really is an underground apartment complex."  Xander nodded.  Fury shook his head.  "Huh."

Xander grinned.  "Very.  The former mayor built all that to help his ascension bid and get him friends and power."

"Where is he now?" Jack asked.  "Do we have to take care of him?"

Xander found the file on Fury's computer that had the graduation battle, letting it be projected the same way.  They watched and Landry was whimpering by the time they blew up the school.  Hammond and Jack both shuddered at that.  "We were all so happy he ate the fucking principal because the man was a little picking, bullying troll."

"I heard the cheer," Jack said weakly, staring at him.  Xander grinned.  "Who's the blonde?"

"Buffy.  The redhead was Willow," he said quietly.  The doctor patted him on the wrist, earning a smile.  "Doc, can I take you out to dinner later?"

She kissed him on the cheek.  "We'll see but not tonight.  I have three teams coming back tonight and I know one's going to be a walking injury circus."  He grinned at her for that.  "Is it always like that?"

"Most springs.  This spring's problem we already cleared.  Thankfully Agent Coulson had brought my uncle to thump my father when he showed up to nag me about not marrying Roque.  Again."  He rolled his eye.  "His powers got scrambled by Sunnydale.  I spotted Glory and walked off after handing Dad over and noting that fact.  Coulson followed me and got Ironman in.  Still took him and Willow an hour to destroy her."  She shuddered.  "She was a hell goddess though."

Fury nodded.  "I got the tape from Stark.  She kept complaining they were burning her clothes.  She had to nag her minions about stealing the bad stuff until she got the better clothes."

"And you thought it was just the evil hollywood types that wore Gucci," Xander quipped with a smirk for him.

"No, most of them wear another designer," he quipped back, smirking at the kid.  "Smartass."

"Well, yeah."  He looked at her.  "Did you give me something for the pain?"

"Yes."

He hugged her.  "Thank you!"

"I'll make sure you get an as needed one, Xander."  He kissed her on the cheek, making her blush.  "You're very sweet but fairly intense."

"That's because my last girlfriend only wanted orgasms and money.  As much of both as she could get."  She swatted him lightly on the shoulder.

"She did.  She complained she wasn't getting her eight a day," Fury told her.  "We all figured she was compensating for a long life as a demon."  Xander nodded.  "Where is she?"

"No clue.  She huffed off crying after looking at me for a minute."

"Pity.  You deserve better, kid."  He smiled at the doctor then looked at the generals.  "Anyway.  How are those warriors working out?"

"Good," Hammond assured him.  "Doctor Jackson loves having them as long as they don't spout off knowledge in front of villagers."  Xander nodded he had talked to them about that.  "Teal'c adores having other warriors who are just warriors.  They're a lot like his."

"They can drink most of our staff under the table," Jack said dryly.

"Well, yeah.  The water sucks so we're weaned on weak beer, General O'Neill.  Mead's special but we drink most every day and it's not a need, but a necessity."

"I've seen places where it was necessary and done that way," he assured him.  "How's your tolerance?"

"I'm out of practice.  Even my uncle could beat me these days.  Though, Mom can outdo every single one of them probably.  Then take two more, find someone to get happy with, and then I'd have a new sibling."  Doctor Lam giggled at him.  "Seriously.  John had to order the booze stash up there locked when Mom showed up to nag him about needing to find a good spouse."  He looked around.  "Mom's got some real firm opinions.  Including that John followed me into the stupid shit business."  He smiled at the doctor.  "That is her label for anything that has to do with being a warrior or a protector.  Since I can feel her she's around here somewhere and I have to use her terminology."

"A boy has to follow his mother's ways sometimes," she agreed with a grin.

Xander's mother appeared, looking at them.  She smiled at Xander.  "Go get my other baby for me?"

"They might not like that, Mom.  He's in command up there and these are his commanding officers.  This is General O'Neill, General Hammond, and General Landry."

"Ah, you do professional stupid shit," she said with a grin.  "Baby, you should try that.  Roque found he liked it."

"Mom, I'd have to follow orders and let someone else run battles for a while," he said dryly.  "I can't imagine that happening."

"Well, no, you don't follow orders all that often.  You do a lot of free form stupid shit.  Now, go get my John."

"He might be busy, Mom."

"He's never too busy for me."

Xander sighed and faded up there.  "Clay, Mom wants John.  Is he busy?" he asked since Clay was behind the head guy desk.

"He's on a mission with Lorne's team."

"Killer, thanks."  He faded back down there, sitting down again.  "He's on a mission, Mom.  We can't interrupt that."

"Fine.  I'll check on him later."

Xander stared at her.  "Don't make me throw you in salt water, Mom.  Please?  John is in command and the guys have to respect him and all that," he said at her pout.  "He's really busy protecting us all from the wraith."

"Fine."  She pouted.  "I'll check on him soon then."

"Just email ahead so he knows to be on base.  They get email once a week," General O'Neill said with a smile.  "That way he can make sure his room's clean and things."

She smiled and pinched his cheek.  "You're very sweet.  Xander.... when are you going to settle down with someone nice?"

"I tried; Freya interfered, Mom."

She sighed.  "I know.  That sucks and I'm going to pull out her hair by the pretty blonde roots for it.  Though I believe Anya wasn't good enough for you, dear."  She kissed him on the head.  "Try to find someone nice?"

"Mom, I'm already flirting with someone who is a good girl, very sweet, and tough enough to put up with me.  She's even seen me since I was injured and didn't flinch.  If you ruin it for me, I'm *so* flooding your river with salt."  He stared at her.

She kissed him on the head.  "Don't threaten your mother, dear.  But I'll leave any nice girlfriend alone as long as I can stand her."  She disappeared.

Xander thumped his head on the back of the chair, shaking it.  "Her most recent assistant has helped her learn slang and things," he apologized.

Doctor Lam smiled.  "She seemed very nice and cares a lot about you."

"Yeah, most of the time."  She patted him on the hand.  His mother showed up.  "Problems?"

"Dear, what are those things in your storage area?"

"Anya's dildo collection?  I warned her a few days back if she didn't remove them I'd give them to my sister for use with her wife."

"She heard.  I just talked to her and she said your former girlfriend had bad taste in clothes and sex toys."

"She should know," Xander agreed.  "Does she still have the special one?"  He smiled at Doctor Lam.  "For a wedding present I took her to the best crafter I could find and had him make her something so she could please her wife better.  She's been very firm in the belief that she was as good as any man and she's been my brother since she was eight and decided that.  Used to piss the fight trainers off majorly when she'd join in and then kick their butts."

"I know a few women like that."

"She's a really good warrior but her wife is a bit fussy.  She nags too."

"Well, if she could find a way to get her pregnant it might help," Xander's mother said dryly.  She faded out again.

Xander shrugged.  "Sorry," he mouthed.  She grinned and O'Neill waved it off.

"Salt water?" Hammond asked.

"She's the goddess of a major river in India."

"What benefits does that give Sheppard?" O'Neill asked.

"It makes him a little bit harder to kill but he's not like me.  He's a lot more normal."

"So he can't do the shadow thing, nothing like that," Hammond checked.  Xander shook his head.  "Is he a god?"

"No, and I'm only immortal."  They nodded at that.  "I may have some power that's been unlocked due to all this but I'm not totally sure.  Uncle Thor was giving me funny looks.  One of the agents said he felt magic or something around me."

"I have too," Fury admitted.  "I asked your uncle and he said he thought you might've moved up the ladder of responsibility."

"If so, no one's told me."

"That's fine, kid.  Just keep it in mind if you lose your temper, all right?"  Xander nodded.  "I want to know your future plans for Wolfram and Hart."

"No, you don't," Xander said with an evil smirk.  "That way you can deny to the ones they helped with making small pledges for support and soul percentages."

"There's not that many," Hammond said dryly.

Xander looked at him.  "Yes there is.  We actually sat down one weekend to look over all the pictures we could find of politicians and found that forty percent had strong marks and another ten had more hidden ones that were only exposed while on vacation in bathing suits."

Hammond gaped.  "That many?"

"It can be as little as a few percent of their soul to get a bit of voting help or something.  Not enough to tip them over.  Wolfram and Hart are the lawyers for the higher demons.  Everyone who works with them signs a soul turn-over clause as part of the agreement to become clients.  So do their staff.  That's why Angel's group in LA has been fighting them.  That and they like to try to take over the world."  He looked at Fury.  "By the way, I froze their labs.  Literally.  I called ice down when I borrowed again."

"How are you borrowing from him?"

"Actually, if it's a battle to protect my people, I can borrow from pretty much anyone."  He smirked and disappeared.  He needed to find a nice card and maybe some nice chocolates in thanks and as a wooing attempt.  That doctor was really pretty, smart, and good to him.

Hammond looked at the doctor.  "If you take him up on his hints, make sure he's good to you.  I'm not sure Jack can kick his butt."  She giggled, shaking her head.  "But don't play with him."

"I won't.  He's a very nice young man.  I could appreciate more nice young men."  She got up and left them alone to talk about General things.  And her father to fume himself into a fit she'd hear later when he stomped in to complain as General Landry instead of as her father.

Fury shrugged.  "I like the kid.  He reminds me a lot of me."

"Me too," Jack agreed dryly.  "How do you feel about her pulling Roque?"

"I've heard.  She said Anya caught them together so clearly they're dating.  I corrected that."

"Is she going to stay around?" Jack asked.

"The telepath I asked said she's got a few redeeming qualities but I'm not for it by any means.  Though he's right, she's got to have that choice to keep the rest of her team from feeling too much guilt about not stopping her sooner.  Even though they tried a lot."

"Do you think she can turn herself around?" Hammond asked.

"Not unless she suddenly quits being blind.  She still thinks Harris is a normal guy."  He got up.  "Call me when you guys want to talk about Colonel Clay's team next time too."

Jack smiled.  "Sheppard said he adores having his own personal rescue squad that's not Major Lorne's team.  It's saved a lot of work and worry.  People tried to bribe Pooch to put them first by handing over some of the sacred chocolate stashes."

Fury smirked.  "They are that good.  I'm told they have the rep for being the sort of team that could pretty well handle any stupid, fucked up assignment and live."

"They've proven that a few times," O'Neill said with a grin.  "Oh, a few guys wanted a battle axe to be standard equipment up there."

"He is pretty badass with it."  He smirked and got sent back to his flying office.

O'Neill looked at Hammond.  "If he was a simple soldier again, I'd love to have him here or there."

"Me too.  He might've made you look normal," Hammond joked.  He looked at Landry.  "We need to talk anyway.  The next president may want us to cut the budget a lot more."

Jack snorted.  "The president warned me recently that it might happen.   I told him I'd get Sheppard to knock out and send me a wraith to put into Congress."  He smirked.  "He told me if I did, he wanted video of it."

Landry shook his head quickly.  "That's a really bad thought."

"Maybe it'd get all those marked ones out of Congress," Hammond quipped.

Xander showed up again, staring at Jack.  "Would you rather I let Wolfram and Hart's present apocalypse attempt rampage for a few minutes to get press attention and very little property damage or destroy a few blocks keeping the press from seeing them?"

"Property damage," Jack said bluntly.  "Because it'll help our budget as mercenary as that sounds.  Right now?"

"Later tonight and now.  And probably all week...."  He grabbed him and took him with him.  He pointed.  "Them.  That's above my skill set.  Even before I lost the eye."

Jack stared and sent video to Hammond's computer.  "Shit."  Xander nodded.  "How soon before the do more than mass?"

"They're probably already starting."  He pointed at the ones stomping off.

"See if we can stop them soon but not too harshly.  It looks like a parade."

"It's a protest against the government discriminating against them by the signs.  Which will turn into a riot soon.  There's agitators.  That blue thing is one.  He's well known for it and we kicked him out right before graduation."

Jack nodded.  "Let me call around.  It'll be a half hour before things get too good."  Xander nodded, heading to corral that protest.  Jack called his former assistant.  "Walter, O'Neill.  Put me on with the LA FBI office please.  As an official."  He put him on hold and connected them.  "Look out your building's windows toward the harbor."  The guy did and he heard him shudder.  "I'm told it's supposed to be peaceful but there's agitators."  He hung up.  He called his people in to help too.   Troops appeared behind him.  He looked back.

"People, these are supposedly a peaceful protest.  We are to herd, we are to protect and keep it from becoming a massacre on either side of the equation," he ordered.  "We can herd them downtown or wherever the FBI decides."  They nodded.  "You are not to fire on them unless they start a battle."  They all nodded and ran forward to ensure that nothing bothered either side.

The agitators were shouting at the military guys but Jack punched one.  "My people are here to make sure neither side feels the need to destroy the other or the city.  We're riding herd, you're going downtown if you want and the FBI allows it.  Get over it."  That agitating demon backed off and started to shout in another language.  The demons cheered and they marched off.

Xander stepped in front of a gang trying to make a move on them.  "Don't even try, kids.  We are not going to let a battle happen in LA today."

"Liberal white boy," one sneered.

"Not hardly.  I'm one of the people that hunts the bad of their kind.  If they want to be peaceful and out some of the government as demon cocksuckers, so be it."  They looked stunned.  "They're protesting the way the government treats them worse than you guys.  So join in peacefully or be spectators because if I see a single rock or bullet thrown, I will make your last few minutes horrifying for your friends to see."  They backed down.

"Your choice."  They moved around him and went to watch for now.  A few had weapons.  Most had knives and most of the guns were in waistbands for now.  The FBI screamed up in their SUV's but the demons pushed past them and overturned a few cars.  Xander looked over.  "I said it's staying peaceful!" Xander shouted.  "Or else I'm jumping in!"

"Oh, shit, it's Alexander," a few muttered.

One looked over.  "That's Buffy's Xander."

"Yeah, that's *Alexander*!" the demon next to him said.  "As in Norse Alexander!"

"Damn, no wonder he helps a slayer.  We'll stay peaceful, Knight!"

"Thank you!"  He followed, watching who tried to attack.  The FBI was stopping them and the military guys were making sure they were down if the bigots got past the agents.  The demons made it to their protesting point and set up to chant, picket, and walk a picket circle.  The military guys watched.  The FBI agents were calling their other offices to get advice.  They weren't picketing them at least.  But they had humans massing to cause a problem.

Xander pulled out a machine gun and clicked in the very large magazine.  He stared at the bigots.  "You cause a riot, you'll be cleaning up your own mess too."  They backed down when the other guns came out.  Even the gang kids pulled theirs on the bigots.  "It'll stay peaceful.  If either side breaks the tradition of peaceful protest, they'll be in itty, bitty pieces of pain and agony.  Am I clear?"

The bigots backed off to regroup and discuss strategy.  More higher ups showed up.  Including the mayor.  He started to make a speech to calm them down but the demons started to shout and laugh at him.  They were shouting how the City Council treated them worse than illegal aliens and they had been there for generations.  The gang kids were nodding they understood that.

Jack got some of his people between the mayor and the protest, earning some boos.  But they didn't try to surge to beat him to death.  The mayor gave up and left before the press got there.  He went to a safer spot to make a speech about how disruptive this is and how it's harming the city.  One of the bigots fired on him so he ran for cover and got sent back to City Hall.  The media coverage was in full force.   The two sides were being kept apart.  Then one bigot threw a rock.

Xander shot him in the leg.  "I warned your ass once.  This is your last warning.  It will stay peaceful.  No matter which side starts it."  The bigots backed down.  The agents were looking panicky but the military guys were looking stony faced and pissed off.   The demon agitators were trying but Xander cleared his throat, staring at one.  "Really?"  The agitators fled.  He put his gun against his shoulder, looking at the agent stomping his way.  "Hi, I'm on the team that used to patrol Sunnydale."  He smiled.  "They're mostly peaceful clans and species, guys."

"You fired a weapon, sir."

"Yeah, that one threw a rock to start a riot.  Would you rather they thought they could do that?  I barely grazed his calf.  And yes, I'm a very good shot."

"Do you have to do this in Sunnydale?" one demanded.

"No, we have a high death rate because we have the non-peaceful ones mostly."  He smirked.  "We *patrol*."  The officers shuddered and backed off.  "If they don't start it, I won't react, but I'm not going to let this turn into a huge ass mess.  Neither side needs the bad press the atrocities of a massacre will bring.  And they don't deserve it for feeling underwhelmed for being treated like shit."

"Can you get it stopped sooner?" one of the officers asked.  "It's kinda creepy."

Xander looked over.  "See the woman with the turquoise eyebrows?"  They nodded.  "Her spouse is the head of the local demon community.  Ask her to lessen the time."  They nodded, walking that way.  They were peaceful, but were wary.  Xander caught her eye and pointed.  She nodded, moving to talk to them.  She told them something that didn't make them happy but apparently it wasn't a bad answer.

O'Neill got with the head agents and the other military people showing up with other orders.  "Kid?" he called.

Xander looked over and then strolled over.  "It's going to stay peaceful.  They've got the right to peaceful protest.  That is the American way."  The new general glared at him.  He smirked.  "I'm from Sunnydale."  He gave him a horrified look, backing away.  "It's going to stay peaceful because I'm making sure of it, General.  So are General O'Neill's people.

Xander checked the crowds again before looking at the general again.  "It's probably not going to go on for more than a few hours but trying something against them will cause this to turn into a riot.  Which will destroy LA since there's more demons than humans in LA and the rest of the state's will show up to help.  They have their ways to get somewhere quickly.  So we can get ones from all over the world showing up to riot here in LA.  Which do you want?"

"The president wants this ended," the new general said.

"I feel for him but I don't really care.  My duty is to protect the people of this area.  Letting them have their protest and keeping it peaceful will make sure of that.  Because I can guarantee the first one hurt will start that riot.  Unless you think you can evacuate all of LA within ten minutes or less, they're screwed."  He walked off.  He found that same wife.  "The president sent the military to calm you guys down and quiet you guys up," he told her.

She snorted.  "We will riot."

"I'd really rather you didn't," he said dryly.

"I know, Knight.  Keep them out there."

"I'm trying."  She nodded, passing that along.  "Please, try?"  She nodded, walking off.  He walked back out there.  "They're going to keep it peaceful.  They know you have orders and she has said she can't stop them from starting a riot.  I've already driven off some agitators trying, General."

"I get that, sir, but I have orders."

Xander nodded.  "Which sucks badly.  Can you inform him of that fact?"  He nodded, walking off to call his higher ups and let them know.  He came back grimacing.  "Do they still want you to pick on the people who have been peaceful for generations?"

"No.  They want us to drive them off and hope they go back underground."

"You do know that the assistant to one of the Joint Chiefs is a demon?" Xander asked with a grin.  The generals both gaped in horror.  "His people have been warriors for centuries.  They're earth based, they're strong warriors.   He's served honorably as one of you.  That's why they're protesting.  Because you guys see them as worse than illegal aliens."

"I get that," he said.  "Though I did not know that about that assistant.  Which one?"  Xander quirked up an eyebrow.  "Never mind, if he's honorable I'm all for it.  I'm sure that his general knows."  Xander smiled, adjusting his eye patch.  "Recent, sir?"

"Yes.  When Sunnydale exploded."  He looked back at the shouting, going to stop that person.  "You fucking moron!"  He shook him.  "Step off!"  He threw him off into the watching crowd.  An agent came to get him and arrest him.  He helped the demon up.  "Need a doctor?" he asked more gently.

"No, Knight.  Thank you for protecting me."  She patted him.  "We were all sorry you got so injured."  She walked off.

Xander looked at him.  "For your information, she's over three hundred years old, she has great-grandchildren, and she's been here longer than your family probably has.  You just touched a little old lady.  How manly you are," he sneered.

The agent looked then at him.  "My grandmother looked the same stooped over way she walks," he admitted, walking him off.

Xander smiled back at them.  "How long, people?"

"Two hours," the leaders said.  "Total.  Then we'll fade."

Xander nodded.  "Okay."  He looked at the generals, who nodded at that.  Xander scanned the crowd and spotted a problem.  He shifted his gun, staring at one of them.  The gang kid sneered.  "The Crypts have more sense," he told the one getting near him.  "O'Neill!  La Familia."

O'Neill looked.  The agents looked.  The gang pulled guns.  Xander pulled smoke grenades and set them off.  The gang members tried to rush the group.  The military guys were guarding them and Xander was going to lose his temper.  He got the head one down and went to get the others off the military guys.  They shouldn't have to deal with gang members shooting them.  The Crypts were helping the agents, which was nice to see.  Xander kicked one off a tinier demon.  He winced when the demon grew huge and growled.

"Don't," O'Neill ordered.  "We'll have to react.  Let us get them."  The demon sneered.  "I'm Jack O'Neill."

The demon sniffed.  "The ring's O'Neill?"  He nodded.  "Then we trust you to serve the best of earth peoples."  He shrank and stomped off.  The demons sneering at the military got a lot more respectful of the SG troops.  Two demons got hurt and Xander got them healers and taken out safely.  The rest slowly left and faded.  The last few disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Xander took a deep breath and looked at the generals.  "Orders?"

"Guys, clean up the humans," he told the agents.  They nodded, shooing off the crowds.  The ones under arrest got taken to the federal building.  He checked, most of his people only got a few cuts.  One was more injured but Xander had them taken with the demons.  He got the address and had them retrieved to be sent back to base.  They had him mostly fully healed.  Jack thanked the healer before taking him.

Xander looked at the dispersing crowd.  Then at the other general.  "Thank you."

"It's good it was peaceful."

Xander nodded.  "I'm glad I could keep it peaceful."  He walked off.

"Sir, that gun?" the general asked.

Xander put the safety on with a grin.  "It's nearly apocalypse season."  He disappeared.

The general looked at his second-in-command.  "Do we have his dossier yet?"

"It's sealed.  Still.  Even from the president asking for it."

"That's insane."

"Yup."  He shrugged.  "He's rated as helpful and necessary but not to feed him chocolate."

"Interesting."  He grimaced, looking at the troops that got removed somehow.  "How?"

"Sir, I looked up O'Neill.  The head of the Army said he's insane but he does protect humanity, he's got a very important job, and he's slightly insane but it works."

"Do you think they do things like this in the Air Force?" he asked.

"No clue, sir.  From what the head of the army's assistant told me, he deals with things more insane than this sometimes."

"I'm glad I don't serve with him then.  Clean up the people.  Let's go get a beer."  He sent that order and they cleared off back to their base.

***

Xander walked up to where Buffy was sitting and watching.  "You could've shown up."

"I'm not sure I can handle a real battle yet," she admitted.

He smiled.  "Well, there's always Faith.  We should go visit anyway since we're here."

"Yeah, we should," she decided.  "I'll see when we can."

"Ask Wes.  He's working with Angel."

"I can do that."  She smiled at him.  "Are you all right?"

"The doctor who helped me gave me something nice for my eye.  A nice card and chocolates are a good first motion, right?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."  She smiled.  "She's nice?"

"She's very nice."

"Huh.  Strange for you."

"Yeah but I'm sure she can be dangerous if she wants."  He winked and got up.  "We can go see Angel and listen to him bitch.  Cordy sure will."

"I could like that."  She got up and walked off with him.  "What happened to the gun?"

"I put it back."

"Can I pet it later?"

"Sure."  He grinned.  She smirked back and swatted him on the shoulder.  "Hey," he complained with a grin.

"You stole that."

"From the law firm I was knocking down with the tunneling demons," he quipped with a grin.  "It's a public service."

"Even better."   They got a cab to the Hyperion.  They walked in and she smiled.  "Hi, Wes.  Hi, Cordy.  Wes, can we visit Faith?"

"Yes.  It might do her good."  He smiled.  "Excellent work, Xander."

"Thank you.  I had a lot of help though."

"I know but it was good it stayed peaceful."

Cordelia quit drinking her tea, nodding.  "Very good."

Xander walked over to work on her shoulders, making her moan and relax.  "If you're tense, the headaches hurt more.  I found that out quickly."  She nodded and let him fix her neck.  "Better?" he asked quietly.

"Much."  He let her go with a pat.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Not like I don't know."  They shared a look.  "So, the fussing, yelling vampires?"

"They're in the basement.  Spike showed up so Angel wanted to tie him up."

"I did a few times when Giles made me let him sleep at my place."

Buffy looked at him.  "That's worse than us chaining him in the tub."

"I only duct taped him to my old recliner.  It was comfy."

"Geek."  He smirked.  "So anyway."  She rubbed her head.  "I hate that."

Wesley looked at her scalp.  "That's healed, Buffy, but I can ask a true healer to look at it if you wish."

"Can we?  The doctors thought it was fully healed but it feels...weak.  I feel weak."

"I can arrange it for tomorrow."  She smiled.  "Have you met Fred?"

"Not yet."  He led her off to introduce her.  "Xander?"

"I met Fred last night."  He grinned.  Cordelia smirked and swatted him.  "Hey!  It's not swat the Xander day."

"Yes it is.  It's always swat the Xander day."  She smirked.  "Do you know how much of a fit Angel threw about that?"

"Welcome," he quipped.  She cackled, taking him to the kitchen to make dinner.  He brought mugs of warmed blood down to the vampires.  "Here, Fangless."  He handed him the first mug.  "It's clean."  He handed the other to Angel.  "Buffy and Fred are bonding."  Angel walked off shaking his head and gulping his dinner.  Xander looked at Spike.  "You better?"

"M'fine," he muttered, taking a drink.  "You?"  He smirked.

"No, I still have a headache."  He undid him.  "Be peaceful or else.  The headache's making me mean and the pain killers are running out."  He walked off again.

Angel glared at him.  "He's dangerous, Xander."

"He's got that chip in his head, Angel.  He still can't eat people.  And if he tries I'll stake his ass."  He sat down, looking at Cordelia.  "I need to find a new career.  Wanna help?"

"Sure."  She smirked.  "Can you sew?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked.  "I took Home Ec the same as you did."

"No, I mean really sew."

"Yeah, a shitload better than most people think since I had to fix my own gear for years."

She smiled.  "I know a designer who could use a new sewer."

He shrugged.  "Can I do that without depth perception?"

"Probably.  And hey, you can move up to designing hunting clothes."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "I may be bi but I'm not that bi."  She cackled, hugging him.  He grinned.  "Beyond that, I'd have to fix certain skirts that're being sucked up by a butt roll."  Buffy pushed back down her skirt.  "Are we going back to Sunnydale?"

"I don't know," she admitted.  "We need to."

He nodded.  "Sometime soon."

"Should sink the town," Spike offered.

"I can do that."  Angel gave him an odd look.  "I laid explosives."  He smiled.  Angel moaned, shaking his head.

"It's a good plan," Buffy assured him.  "I like it a lot.  So does Mr. Fury.  I saw him earlier."

"So did I."  Xander nodded.  "Any word?"

"No."

"Damn.  From Dawn?"

"Yup.  They gave her enough time to sightsee one night during the meetings in Amsterdam.  She saw some things that blew her mind and she had to have Pepper explain some stuff, which Mom got to reexplain when she mentioned it.  Mom was laughing at her reaction to whatever the Red Light District was."

"That's the authorized prostitution area," Angel told her.  "It's legal there as long as they follow the rules."

"Girls sit in windows framed by red lights," Xander told her with a grin.  "They tempt you, they tease you, and draw you in to go see girls just like them."  Buffy gaped, shaking her head.  "Yeah.  They have mandatory health checks and things."

"Uh-huh.  In the open?"

"Yeah.  It's legal there, like it is in parts of Nevada," Cordelia said.  "It's a stunning sight.  They're classier than strippers, have some of the best not-trashy clothes that are still alluring.  Men visit just to see the window shows."

"Like the ones in New Orleans," Spike agreed.

She shook her head.  "Does Mom know that?"

"Probably.  She had a better education than we did," Xander quipped.

"Huh.  Well, as long as she didn't get any tips."

"You've seen how Pepper dresses her?" Xander quipped.  "Do you really think she'd let her go trashy?"

"No.  Pepper has made her look nice and subtly pretty instead of trashy.  Didn't I pack her things?"

"Yeah but you packed her clubbing clothes."

"Oh."  She nodded.  "That figures.  I was cleaning out my closets."  She rubbed her head.  "Wes, we can visit Faith, right?"

"Yes, we can.  I can arrange it for this weekend, after I get you to see that healer, Buffy."  She grinned and he smiled back.  He made sure the healer could see them for a full work up.  That memory lapse was worrying.

***

Xander looked up from his reading when someone was sat across from him.  "Hi."

"Xander," she said flatly.

"It would be me and Buffy but she's in the hospital about her skull fracture that didn't heal straight."  He handed over the book with a grin.  "Joyce suggested that one.  She read it from her hospital bed."

"B's mom?" she asked, looking confused.

"Brain tumor.  She's fighting it hard."

"Damn.  I know B looked up to hers."

Xander nodded.  "We all do.  We're all hoping really hard.  Wes took Buffy to a healer on Tuesday and he nearly had a fit about the skull fracture that didn't heal right."

"Damn."  She stared at his eye.  "I saw the news on what happened."

"Willow happened."

"Shit."  She slumped.  "She gone?"

"In federal custody.  They're deciding if she's getting a second chance or not."

"Decent."  She looked at the book then at him.  "I'm ...."

"Faith, I understand.  Not like I've had happy years."  He stared at her.  "I know.  I realize.  And if you want my help working through all that, all you have to do is reach out.  Whenever.  You're still part of the group."

"Red's going evil changed things?" she asked bitterly.

"Do your remember them telling me I'm normal?"  She smirked and nodded.  "Do you know how wrong they are?"

She stared.  "No they're not."

He leaned forward.  "Yeah, they are.  My dad's a chaos God," he said quietly.  She whimpered, slumping more.  "So yeah, I've had some not fun years of my own.  I've fought an awful long time and I've lost my temper to the point of destruction.  A lot of destruction."  He stared at her.  "If you ever want to talk, or need to talk, tell me."

"I can do that," she said, staring at him.  "So the eye?"

"Gone.  With some shrapnel."

"Ow."

He nodded.  "Yeah, a lot of ow."  He patted her hand quickly.  "If you need me, you tell me.  I'll be here.  If you need to talk about that stuff, you let me know.  I'm used to girls talking to me for some reason," he said dryly.

She smirked.  "They know?"

"And *so* threw a fit."

She nodded.  "Sometimes they're judgmental."

"It happens," he agreed.  "We move on.  But yeah, we'll be here if you want us to be.  Buffy would've been here but well...."  He waved a hand.  She giggled.  "Seriously.  We're debating what to do with Sunnydale."

"Blow it?"

"I can do that," he mouthed.

She cackled, shaking her head.  "You're goofy."

"Some days, yeah."  He smirked.  "So....  The book's good.  If you want more books, give me a list?"  She nodded.  "I'm not working right now and have to find a new career anyway so I can do that.  Need anything else?"

"No.  I'm pretty self contained here."  She waved a hand around.  "I'm learning a lot about myself."

He nodded.  "It sucks that it came to this," he said quietly.  "I hate that it did."

She looked at the book then at him.  "It's a step up for me, X."

"Then when you're ready to need something, you'll let me know.  Oh, I put thirty on your account for your birthday."  He grinned.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Yeah."  She gave him a funny look.  "I do things like that."

"How's the loud one you were seeing?"

"She took one look at me and ran off crying to New York."

"Fuck," she said flatly, staring at him.

"Language," a guard ordered.

"Sorry.  She just found out my fiancee ran off because of my eye's damage."  He looked at her, shrugging some.  "At least she didn't come after me with a flaming pitchfork."

"True, but da..."  She shook her head.  "She needs slapped."

"I'm sure she'll get it in New York."  He smirked slightly.  "It's a harder city than LA is."

"Yeah, it is.  Boston too."  She patted the book.  "Any other news?"

"Buffy's sister has a good mentor toward a semi-normal life.  One who can teach her not to get kidnaped.  Spike's been watching over her anyway as a favor to Buffy.  Joyce's treatments are going okay right now.  She got good help.  Giles is in England for a few days to talk to some witches over there and things."  She grimaced but nodded.  "Other than that, things are things."

"B still with the commando boy?"

"Nope."

"Good.  He wasn't that good."

"He was being a feeder."

"Eww."

"Well, you know, a step up from the stakeable boyfriends."

"Yeah but not much."  They shared a look and he grinned.  "I've only got five years," she said quietly.

"Two with good behavior."

"I try really hard."  She smiled at the guard coming her way.  "Time's up."

"I'll be back soon.  I'll try the next visiting time, depending on if I have a job by then.  If you need stuff I'll definitely show up."

She smiled.  "They won't let you bring me food."

"I know.  I asked about cookies.  Willow's girlfriend was going to send you cookies."  Faith grinned and let the guard take her back.  Xander left, going back to the Hyperion.  On the way he looked up, seeing the problem that was making the radio DJ nearly piss himself.  "What the hell?" he muttered.  He pulled over and watched his uncle do something stupid.  Against Ironman.

His phone beeped with a message to not interfere, Thor had been drugged.  So he let them handle it.  He just watched for now.  His uncle went plummeting to the earth again and he sighed, following his trail to pick up his pieces.  He stared at his uncle until he got blinked at.  "Need some aspirin?"

Thor growled and stood up.  "You little freak," he snarled.

Xander hit him, knocking him back down.  "Yay you?"  He kicked him around a bit then stared at him.  "Want the cuffs now or later?"  Thor moaned at him.  Xander smacked him on the side of the head.  "Idiot!  Throwing away your chance to get it back?  Are you that stupid?"  He ranted at him until someone else showed up.  "Your father would still be ashamed!  Straighten up and be a man instead of a teenager!  You're old enough to know better, Thor."  He nodded, hanging his head.  "And if you *ever* call me a name again, I'm going to make sure you regret it for *years* as you crap out a hole in your side into a bag."

"I'm sorry, nephew."  He looked up.

"You'd better stay sorry and remember this.  You're just like me now and each time you do stupid shit, you make me look bad.  Then I have to fight against all that drama.  I get enough drama from the girls in my life."

"I know.  I will not."

"You'd better not.  I can and will call Mjöllnir during a battle and keep her."  He nodded at that, letting Xander help him up.  "Now go apologize for whatever stupid things you did.  You were taught to detect poisons in your food when my father kept trying you, when you were both younger and more stupid."

"You're right, I was.  I was lax."  He walked over to the agent and Ironman.  "I'm sorry, Stark.  I did not pay attention and it got me into that state.  It will not happen again."

"Good enough for me."  He looked at Xander.  "I talked to her earlier about addiction things."

"Did you remind her how hard it is?" Xander asked.

He nodded.  "Yeah.  I did.  I hope it helped."

"I hope it did too.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  You need to talk?"

"No.  I'm not like that."

The agent, who Xander didn't now, stared at him.  "Are you on anything?"

"Hell no.  They didn't give me painkillers like that."

"You're awfully angry."

Xander stared at him then at his uncle.  "You explain being a warrior to him?"

"Yes, I can.  Go home?"

"I'm still trying to figure out where that is."  He walked back to the car.  "Later, guys.  Have a safe and easy week.  No terrorists."   He moaned, grabbing his head and going to his knees.  "Never mind, there are some."  He took a deep breath, trying not to puke.  "Oh, shit."  Stark helped him up, putting up his visor to stare at him.  "Someone's taking over Max's plans," he panted, moving to puke.  "It's maybe a minion but it's a female.  I saw a picture of Black Widow and her back around college or late high school age.  Black and white, but she had medium hair."

"I can ask her," Stark promised, taking off calling her.  "I want full details," he called as he flew off.

"Yup," he said, puking again.  "When I can stand."  His uncle came to help him.  "Visions suck ass."

"So does your almost mate now," Thor joked.  Xander snorted, nodding.  He spit a few times and let his uncle steady him.  "Can you drive?"

"Yeah.  It's just a headache.  I'm getting really used to headaches."  He stared at him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, nephew.  None of us wanted you afflicted that way."  He patted him on the shoulder and let the agent lead him off.  He would tell Coulson that when they made it to him.

Xander leaned against the car, catching up with the pain until it eased enough to drive on the back roads.  He wasn't going to trust himself on the highway.  It took too much focus and stress.

***

Angel stared at Xander.  He looked wobbly and like he was in pain.  "You shouldn't be driving."

"Bite me.  I can drive."

"You were shaky earlier."

"I had a vision halfway back."

Angel grimaced.  "What happens if you have one behind the wheel, Xander?"

"Did you give Cordy this talk?"

He sighed but nodded.  "She kicked me on the ankle and stomped off."  He stared at him.  "You have even more reason with the eye thing.  You're still in pain from it.  The visions are really new to you.  You could crash into someone like a drunk driver would."

"I could die from the stress on the highway too."  He stared at him.  "Not like I drive often right now."

"I realize that but let someone else drive?"

"Have you seen how Buffy drives?" he demanded.

"Well, yes.  Fine.  But try not to?"

"I am.  Quit nagging.  I'm not dating you."

Angel grimaced.  "I heard about your last one."

"Anya?"  He nodded.  "How's she doing?"

"She's pouty."

"Her fault," he quipped.  "I've already got my woo on with a nice, professional, smart woman."  He walked off.  "Thanks for trying to channel Giles, Angel, but not necessary."

"Fine.  But you can't borrow my car."

"Whatever."  He waved.  He finally had the insurance checks.  He was still fighting the urge to sink Sunnydale and move to Canada.  He hated people staring at him.  He glared at one who was frozen on the sidewalk, making her hurry off.

"If you keep scaring people that way you're never going to find a job," Angel called after him.

"Bite me squared, Deadboy."  He walked in.  Fred pouted at him.  "They're staring again!"

"They stare at me too, Xander.  It sucks that people have no tact."  She gave him a hug, getting one back.  "At least they're not crossing the street to get away from you."

"Maybe.  I'm still thinking about hiding in the wildness of Canada."  He went up to his room to sulk for dinner.  He found a bag on his bed and smiled at the orders on it.  He faded out to pick up something and then to her infirmary, hugging her from behind and handing her the stuffed monkey.  "Thank you for taking such good care of me, Carolyn.  I appreciate the hell out of you, even if you hadn't given me something for the headaches."  He gave her an extra squeeze.  "Did you get the chocolates?"  He went back to his room, took a pill, and went to bed.  They made him dizzy but that happened.  Better than the headache.

She smiled at the grinning, happy monkey she had been handed.  "He hugs very nice," she told the watching nurses.

"Chocolates?"

"He sent me a small, very good box of chocolates and a card for how we had taken care of him.  I shared the card with Doctor Keller."  She smiled, taking the monkey to her office.  He was such a sweet boy.

"Doctor Lam, if I give you a stuffed teddy bear can you make the stitches not hurt this time?" Cam Mitchell called as he walked in.

She pulled out the bigger needles.  "Sure, I can do that, Colonel Mitchell."  He flinched at the sight of the needle.  "Bend over, let me make sure you don't feel anything."  He whined but let her stick him with the sedative.  "Such a baby about a few stitches," she complained.  The nurses all laughed.  He shouldn't have picked on her.  He knew better.

***

Xander and Buffy walked back into Sunnydale together, him slightly behind her.  Things were still a wreck.  They could hear the demons having a street party and headed that way.  No victims and no vampires so they left it alone and walked on after a few spotted them.  The vampires were celebrating whatever holiday they still held dear with a lot of victims begging.

They walked through the group, staking as they walked.  He slightly separated from her to get his own pathway.  Most of the vampires didn't even sense them coming they were so high on the fear and fresh blood.  Xander looked around before summoning his axe and sending it out in a circle to get a few more.  One of them yelped.  Xander summoned it back and put it away with a grin when a few stared at him.  "Hi.  Is this to welcome us back?"

"Slayer's here!" that one shouted, trying to run.  Xander staked him and they made it to the center.

"You know, this really doesn't compare to Disney," Buffy said dryly.  "We should go back to Disney, Xander."

"Sure, Buffster.  Once I get a job again."

She nodded.  "Good point.  It's really expensive."  She looked around.  "So, what's the what, guys?  Some sort of holiday we forgot?"  The vamps started to look nervous.  She pulled out a second stake.  The nervous looks got worse.

Xander pulled out something and bounced it a few times before depressing the trigger with his thumb and tossing it into the crowd.  A few snickered at that.  It went 'fomph' and the vampires went poof.  The ones that hadn't been hit stared at him.  Xander smiled and tossed out three more.  Then he and Buffy moved to clean up more.  While Buffy was staking the last few that were too stupid to run, Xander went back to free the victims.  "Anyone want to play roulette with the ER?"

"The state stepped in to fix it," one of them said.

"Okay."  Xander called the local EMS number and got paramedics their way.  "Call made."  She nodded and they faded to follow some that had run.  He looked back, seeing the paramedics and cops rushing toward the victims.  "New cops."

She looked back.  "Huh."  They walked off again.  The Bronze was calling their names.  There were always vamps there hunting.  The Bronze was actually mostly quiet, only a few vamps, but it was a Wednesday.   They got a drink and headed out after getting them.  The store was still whole.  Giles had told them to stay there and reopen it.  Xander saw the official looking letter on the door and looked at it.  "The new Chief of Police wants to talk to Giles when he gets back."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"No, you have to go see your mom.  I will."  She nodded.  They walked in and went to the various couches/cots.  Xander checked the weapons before going to bed but that was just him being paranoid about being back in Sunnydale.

4: Old Ones In Store

Once they get to move back home, Xander takes over the Magic Box until Giles can come back, and really a lot of the work after he does come back.  Xander has ideas that work pretty well for the store.

Xander walked into the station the next morning.  The old detective sneered but Xander looked atone of the new ones.  "You guys wanted to see Giles but he won't be back for about two more weeks.  Want me instead?"

"I can ask the new Chief, sir."  He called him to see.  He nodded and Xander walked back there.  One of them opened his cuffs but Xander stared at him for a minute.  He shrank down and away from him.

Xander knocked then walked in.  "You wanted to see Giles?"

"I did, Mr. Harris.  Please come in and shut the door."  Xander did that.  "I saw you on the news coverage of that protest."

Xander nodded.  "I was there making sure it didn't turn into a riot."

"Thank you for that."  He stared at him.  "Last night...."

"We barely got back last night, Chief.  Surely we can't be in trouble for coming home."

The chief stared at him.  "Unlike the last idiot, Mr. Harris, some of my guys have brains and aren't dirty."

"Yeah, I noticed you got rid of most of them."

"I need evidence for the rest," he said dryly.  "Last night in the park?"

"Welcome?"

"Thank you."  He smirked.  "How many more problems will we have?"

"Have you heard why we have problems?"

"No.  No one told me why when the Governor appointed me."

Xander smirked.  "Got internet?"  He let him have his computer keyboard and looked up the site they researched on.  He got into the hellmouth file and let him see it.  The new chief read and then gave him a funny look.  "It's under the old high school.  Under the old library actually."

The chief slumped, leaning back in his chair to stare at the kid.  "So that's why they're all here?"

"We have a lot of peaceful ones.  A lot who hide in plain sight.  It's one of the few places they can do that.  We also get more weird stuff than Roswell.  Chaos sorcerers, mad geniuses, the geek trio.... commandos from a government program torturing demons."

The chief shook his head quickly.  "Are the commandos gone?"

"Yes, mostly.  Now and then Riley Finn will show up.  Some are now real agents.   I ran into a few of them in LA."  He yawned.  "Sorry, office couch sucks."

"It's reasonable."  He blinked.  "I've been briefed on the geek trio if you mean Andrew, Warren, and Jonathan?"  Xander nodded with a grin.  "They're..."

"Warren is a problem, he's the instigator and he's always been slightly ego driven.  Or else we wouldn't have robots that were real-time real."

"I saw her."

Xander grinned.  "So have we."

"So if we got rid of Warren....."

"It's possible the other two would go back to more normal genius geeks with ideas.  I know Andrew on his own would never turn toward evil.  He saw evil close up with his big brother.  Who was more wacko than Warren."

"Good to know."  He considered that.  "Is there any way to clear out the reasons for the high death rate?"

"Vampires.  And we're working on it most nights."

"Okay."

"There's over four hundred of them spread around the city."

"Damn."

Xander grinned.  "We hunt most every night.  Cemetery patrols, Bronze baiting, up by the college.  But hey, if you guys want to shut down most of the sewer system, leave the apartment complex down there alone.  It's got a lot of harmless families."

"The what?" he asked.

"No one told you that we have a huge underground ...  Oh, shit, dude."  He opened the door.  "Has the room on three in City Hall been touched?" he called.  "I need that map system."  The old detectives glared but one shook his head.  "Thanks.  He wanted to know where the apartments were so he could talk to someone."  He led him over there.  He winked at one of the demons giving him worried looks.  "This is the new Chief," he introduced.  "The governor appointed him."

"So you needed the map," he said with a smirk.  That was clearly a cover story about why he needed the map.

"Yeah.  Have a peaceful day.  Oh, let people know we'll be opening the Magic Box in about a week."  He nodded, getting back to cleaning up.  Xander led him to City Hall, across the street, and up to the third floor.  Then he winked and went into a room, then through a hidden entrance.  He flipped on the lights, leading him down to the real map room.  He flipped on the lights down there, staring at the real-life mock up.  "It's plastic covered because the old mayor was germ phobic."

The chief walked over to look at it.  He found the buttons to move the top layer higher.  It spread out so they could see all the layers of tunnels.  "Oh *damn*," he said in awe.  He called one of his guys.  "Can it be moved?"

"Yeah, this whole room can be moved."  He flipped on the other lights, showing off the filing cabinets.  "The evidence you probably wanted."  He pointed.  "That is a major vamp enclave that we weed out but haven't been able to kill totally.  This is an apartment complex full of demons but they're mostly peaceful and if they aren't, the others handle it or tell our slayer."

"Okay," he said.  His second-in-command came down and stared at the model.  "Did you have any idea?"

"No, I didn't, and he just called for an update."

The chief called him and talked to him while he looked over the areas.  His second spotted the filing cabinets and went to look them over.  "Hey, we have evidence on Stein."

"Look at some of his past cases," Xander said dryly.  "He tried to arrest someone for killing a robot."

The chief looked at him.  "Seriously?"

"Yeah, Buffy."

The chief held his head.  "I didn't realize when you said I'd have headaches, sir.  Now I do."  He hung up.  "We can move this?"

"As far as I know."

"Good.  We'll move the model to the office and let the FBI have those."  He called them and they showed up; they were outside the town because they had noticed the hunters coming back.  They grabbed the files, looked at the model, took video of it, then left.  Quietly without notice.

Xander smiled.  "Sneaky."

"I do try."

Xander nodded.  "Oh, this area under the college.  Someone has been talking to a *good* military based project about using that area as a training center.  Willow's thing might have derailed that, not sure."

"Okay," the chief said.  "The explosion was someone named Willow?"

"She's in federal custody already."

"Good to know."  Xander grinned.  "One of you guys," he said flatly.  Xander nodded.  "Dirt."

"She's staying in custody or they'll give her the death penalty. We've talked about it a few times."  That got a nod.   "Oh, can we confiscate stuff from the old Mayor if no one else has?"

"Is it stolen?"

"Probably not."  He walked him over to that storage area.  It was mostly cleaned out.  "Aww, they left the marked cash."  He looked around, finding a bag.  "That'll help us with stuff like food and rent."  He grabbed it and grinned.  "I can have someone check to make sure it's not stolen."

The chief looked and whimpered.  "Diamonds."

"Yeah.  There had been piles of gold bars."  He grinned.

"Ooooh.  So this cash...."

"No clue.  But hey, we might not mind....."

"We'll see, Harris," he said dryly.  He looked at his second, who called back in the FBI.  "Let them check it."  They took the bag too and searched the rest of this underground area.

"Oh, shit!" one shouted.

Xander went to look in that room.  "Hi, Huey."

"Xander!"  He hugged him.  "I got asked to clean up some of the mess."

"I'm trying to claim some of it for us and Faith."

"Faith....  Hmm, yes it might belong to her.  I'll ask her.  Is she still in a coma?"

"In jail."

"I'll ask then."  He patted Xander on the head, earning a wince.  "That will get better I'm sure."  He smirked at the two officers.  "Hi."

"He's a clean up sort.  Assassins use him too.  So does the CIA."

"I'd like to hear more about that job," the agent said.  "So we can recognize when it's one of you and not natural."

The demon smiled.  "I will if you quit sweating so much.  It's making you stink and we have a very sensitive sense of smell."

"Sure," he said, bringing another agent in to talk to him.  That one didn't wear anything scented.  Huey the demon was happy to talk to him about how the clean up business worked and brag about some past, untouchable, clients.  Not like they could do anything to the CIA or Wolfram and Hart.

Xander strolled off, going back to the shop.  He ordered what was needed and stocked what they still had.  It wasn't bad and he settled in to deal with the backlog of mail and bills.  Some of them had to be paid by Giles' hand.  He called him.  "It's Xander."  He smirked.  "I'm at the store looking at the 'please pay me' pile.  Yeah, you said to reopen the store, Giles."  He rolled his eyes at the complaint.  "Last night.  When we called you before coming back to Sunnydale.  No, you weren't drunk or distracted."  He smirked at her when she leaned in.  "Yeah, you're due back in two weeks.  Want me to go ahead and handle that for you?"

Buffy took the phone.  "If you don't come back, I'm coming over there and bringing all the vampires with me.  I'll have Spike talk them into it."  She listened.  "You told us, with Mom listening, to reopen the store, Giles."  She smirked.  "I don't know, Xander.  Is there a lot of money needed?"

"Six pay me invoices that total up to about two hundred.  There's almost a fully stocked store and we have to sort out the books again."

She repeated that.  "He said that's fine and to handle it, Xander, and make sure you don't take more than Anya made."

"Then I'm bumming his apartment too."

"He said he gave up the rent."

"No he didn't.  All his stuff's still there.  I swung by there this morning and the keys still worked.  There's no mail from his landlord.  Nothing really official.  Just some books he had sent.  Though I do need to pay his water bill for him.  He forgot last month."

She said that and made hand-talking motions.  "Yup, we can do that, Giles.  No, our house was trashed and FEMA paid mom already.  So did the insurance people.  So we'll have to find a new place when she gets out in two months."  She walked off talking to him.

Xander found the checkbook in the desk and checked the balance.  He checked online.  "Buffy, tell him Anya stole six grand from the store when she fucked off."

She leaned in.  "He's swearing in Latin."

"I'd swear in Latin too."  He looked at things.  "That account but I'm seeing a second checkbook."  She took that one to read off the information on it.  "No, this is the store's so that one was his probably."

She nodded.  "That's what he said.  He's swearing in German now."  Xander winced.  That meant it was really bad.  "So, we'll run it until you get back and Xander can have your apartment until you get back.  Then we'll regroup and do more than handle things."  She smiled.  "New York?"  He nodded.  "New York.  No clue.  I haven't heard from her."

"I haven't checked my email but I don't think I have either," he admitted.

"No, no one's heard from her that we know.  I can ask at wherever Willie put back up tonight.  Thanks, Giles.  Yeah, we can handle the store.  It's not that hard."  She hung up.  "I don't know what's wrong with him."

"ManMS," he said dryly.  "We all get it, we just get grumpy during it."  She walked off snickering.  "Go sort the books into sealed and not sealed?"  She nodded.  He handed over the inventory of them.  She sighed but did it properly like Giles would like.  She came back scowling so they went to look for the missing books.  He found some but not many.  That also got told to Giles so he could figure out how to get new copies.  Then Xander finished settling the bills and opened the store.  Not like they needed to wait and there wasn't much business right now.

One of the older officers walked in with a sneer.  "Your *mentor* ask you to reopen for him?"

"Yup.  He's due back soon."  He grinned.  "This way things are ready and hopping when he gets back."  Xander leaned on the counter.  "Why?  Need something specific, Officer Doug?"

"My wife wants a battle axe, something special."

"Sorry, we aren't licensed to carry weapons.  You might try the Xena catalog."

"No, she wanted something with silver tracings and maybe even blessed."

Xander snorted.  "Even if I had one of those here, those sort of things will destroy someone if they're touched by the wrong person."

"I bet it can be broken."

"Well, maybe, but it'll still destroy you."  He smirked.   "Not like some of the One Ones aren't still around.  You should be careful what she wishes for."

"They're not still here."

"Then Thor isn't working with the Avengers?"

The officer went pale.  "What?" he asked flatly.

"Yeah.  Been all over the national news today."  He went to check on that.  "Have a good day," he called with a wave and a smile.  Buffy looked out at him.  "It has been."

"Why would they want your axe?"

"Probably to try to hurt or have influence over me.  Thankfully they aren't like that and they'll come when I call."  He gave her a smug look.  He looked at the man manifesting next to him.  "Hey."

"Xander," Heimdall said, staring at him.  "Are you ready for more training?"

"Later, after patrol tonight.  I can take a bit of time now but that would mean Buffy would have to run the store."

"Better than the book inventory."

"Just don't sell any without checking it," he reminded her.  She nodded and he took his first trainer back to the workout room they had back there.  Heimdall smiled at the room.  "She needs it."

"I noticed."  He took off his helmet.  Xander helped him out of his armor and they got to work on his compensation skills.  Xander also told him about the attempt to get his special weapon and what Thor was doing.  Heimdall nodded at that information.  They kept going until Xander was worn out and sweating enough to make the floor slick.  Heimdall stared at him.  "You need more work to get back to where you were."

"I do better in real battles."

"That's because you have that extra battle sense."  Xander nodded, rubbing his forehead. "Visions?"

"Yeah, but this is the eye hole's issue."  Heimdall moved closer to look at it.  "I have some debris left," he said quietly.

"That sucks."  He patted him on the undamaged cheek.  "You'll do with more work."

"Yes, Uncle.  Thank you for helping me."

"Come see me more often."

"After patrols."  He smiled.  "Time differentials will be helpful."

"Yes it would."  He gathered his things and left.

Xander walked into the bathroom to hose off, coming out to stare at the idiot with the gun on Buffy, who was chewing gum.  He stared at him.  "Are you really that stupid?"

"All this shit's fake anyway," he sneered.

Xander floated over something, making the guy gape in horror then flee.  He even dropped his gun.  "Thanks for the new weapon!"  He waved and picked it up with a towel, putting it on the counter.  "Let the new cops handle that."  He went to clean up and came back to find one of the older cops harassing her.  "Dude, really?"  The guy whimpered, backing off.  "Shoo and take the attempted mugger's gun with you."  He nodded, doing it.  "I guess someone heard something," he quipped.

She smirked.  "Apparently."  She let him have the counter.  "Let me clean up in there and finish my workout?  We'll do the books after patrol?"

"Sure.  Call Tara yet?"

"No, I hadn't."  She called her once she was in her training room.  "She's seen Anya," she called.

"Have her nag her?" he called back.  He smiled at the woman coming in.  "We're just barely open again.  Let me know if you need something we've got ordered and I'll add it if it's not already on there, Miss Clara."

"Thank you, Xander."  She pinched his cheek and went to browse.  "Candles aren't here?"

"Some were slightly melted so I didn't put them out.  I do have two boxes of pink left and one of white pillars."  He got them and brought them out.  "I can offer them about a quarter off," he offered with a smile.  "None are that bad looking but I didn't want to put out the scratch and dent stuff."

She looked.  "Some of those aren't that bad.  I can use them in the off-side things."  She bought most of them and a few bits of incense.  "The pine?"

"Is on order and I made sure we'd have enough with school starting since a lot of the kids like it to make the first party's results smell less."  He smiled.  "It should be in later this week or Monday."  She nodded.  He rang her up with the discount and let her go with a bit of help carrying the candles to the car for her.  They had been due to be sent back for damage and credit but that made them a few cents more per candle than the credit would be.  Plus it was good for the business.

"Way to channel Anya," Buffy called.

"Bite me."  He smirked and fussed at some other things in storage.  He found some stuff he had stored after Glory had attacked.  A lot more candles and incense that had survived.  He made a sign for the windows and put them on a table out front.  He also wrote the head of the Wicca group on campus.  They did a lot of business with them.  Their 'non-practicing' supplies were still fully stocked.

By the end of the store's day they had done a good business with the 'just reopening after the explosion' sale.  He had to up the orders and order more things.

***

Xander came up from the basement at the bell.  "Giles."  He smiled and shook his hand.  "Hold on, I'm bringing up a case of pickled things."  He went down to get it and bring it back up.  It went onto a table and he unpacked it while Buffy hugged him and babbled at him.  Giles finally got her calmed down and she bounced off for a coffee.  "Joyce gets to come home in six weeks they think."

"That's wonderful news."  He looked around.  "You rearranged things?"

"We had two broken bookcases that need to be replaced.  We also have a God cult on campus now, which is why we have two broken bookcases and they're whining in jail about their broken arms."  He smirked.  Giles smiled at that.  "Anyway, we're doing okay.  By the way, I put your water bill on the budget plan so it'd be the same amount every month.  At the end of the year if you've used more, that one will be a bit bigger but it'll even out that great dipping and swooping thing you had going."

"That's decent of you.  Thank you."  Xander got the books to go over them.  "We did drastically better than I thought."

"I held a 2 day sale when we got back.  Twenty percent off to clear off the stuff that made it through the explosion.  Plus a college student one day ten percent off sale.  I did have to point out that one thing wasn't just pretty and decorative, it was meant to hold things.  He bought it for a friend's weed stash."  Giles nodded.  "This the list of books we're missing.  This is the one that we thought were for sale.  The ones with marks/stars are ones we're not sure of.  They had price tags but it could've been Anya from that time."

Giles nodded.  "That's very helpful."  He smiled.  "You've done a good job."

"Thank you and you pay me twenty more a week than Anya because otherwise I can't afford rent.  She blew up the cheap side of town."

"That's not that much and you are providing a lot of profit."  Xander grinned.  "How have patrols gone?"

"The new guys the governor sent are really efficient.  They've dismantled a lot of things the Mayor had done without really bothering the harmless species.  Whenever he gets near one, they sent someone to talk to him and they talked about it reasonably and rationally.  He talked to O'Neill about the training center idea too."

"That's actually surprising."

"The governor is pissed as hell at this town and wants to clean it up for reelection."  Giles nodded at that.  "So far it's going well.  He cleaned out all the dirty ones."

"Even better."  He looked things over.  "The current invoices?"  Xander got them.  "Already paid?"

"Yeah, I do it every week on Sunday."

"That's something I never managed."

"I don't have to watch Anya for petting things."

"Good point."

"And we haven't had much that wasn't a vampire in the last three weeks."

"Even better."

Buffy leaned in with her coffee, handing Giles his tea.  "We have one huge demon that did move here but I think he's peaceful from what I looked up.  Of course I have no idea what the book said but the marks on the edges of the page were harmless and annoying."  She gave him a hopeful look.  He went with her to find that demon and make sure.

Xander finished up the accounting tasks and pulled up the system on the computer.  Willow had nicely donated her oldest laptop to them.  It worked with Quicken.  Giles came back.  "This is Quicken.  It works like a checkbook, hooks into the bank."  He showed him how it looked.  "It prints on checks," he said, pointing at that small box.  "The bank only charged us five more bucks for this format than the checkbook and it looks more official.  Plus readable."  He paid the one he still had to pay, showing him.  "That's all you have to do.  Everything's in there already."

"So it's like filling out the check?" he said to make sure.

"Yup.  Then I changed the filing system for taxes."  He pointed at the file box.  "Invoices, put it in the last spot."  He wrote 'paid' and the date on it.  "If you need it, the program can print out a photocopy of any check for taxes."  Giles nodded.  "And it's simpler, which was something you procrastinated about because it drove you nuts."

"Anya and Willow created that system."

"Clearly."  He smirked.  "One box for invoices.  One for weekly sales reports."  He got into that.  "Put in the daily sales figures and it'll even keep track of the inventory if we want for ordering."  He let him see how they did that.  "That's the harder version.  I didn't want to bother with it.  I've been keeping a paper tally."  He got that.  "That way I know which ones I need to order from."

"That's actually very easy to use," he said.  He looked over the boxes.  One had receipts for 'petty cash and store expenditures'.  One had invoices.  One had orders that had been faxed in.  "So basically this is all I need to bring to the tax preparation people?"  Xander nodded with a grin.  "Wonderful.  Last year it was shoe boxes that filled the trunk."

"Yeah, I refiled them too.  By year."  He pointed at the boxes.  "Keep them for a few years.  Ask them how long really.  Each year has a folder."

"I can do that."  He smiled.  "You're much more handy than Anya was."

"And I don't pet the cash.  Or let the occasional bill fall into my bra."

"That is much better," he agreed.  "Did Tara find her to talk to her?"

"Yup.  Tara even duct taped her and talked to her.  She was scowling so much the agents called to make sure she wasn't possessed."  He smiled.  Giles snickered, shaking his head.  "She's back but she's got classes today."

"That's fine.  I'll hug her later for that."  He got up to look over the store.  "Nothing from that place that made the candy cane candles?"

"No.  They're in bad business shape.  I ordered some for the holiday stuff but otherwise they're nearly out of business."

"Why?"

"Too small to make a good profit."

"Ah.  I had that fear myself."

"We have a lot of practicing magic users in town.  Oh, I added two suppliers.  Both on the non-user side.  The Wicca group and the meditation crowd liked them."  He pointed at that shelf unit and clothing rack.  They're all natural cotton but not hand-made.  So the poser crew and the meditating crew like them."

"That's actually not a bad idea."  He checked them over, nodding.  "Not bad quality."

"No and with the pants version and the looser top it does work for yoga and things."  He leaned on the counter.  "Hi, Miss," he said when someone came in.  He grinned.  "Mr. Giles is back."

Tara squealed and hugged him.  "I have missed you as well, Tara."  He smiled at her.  "How are classes going?"  He walked her off to talk to her.

Xander let them go while he handled the store.  Things had to get done even with Giles back.  Because Giles really didn't do much with the store beyond lay things out and let customers troop in and out.  Giles walked past him.  "I reapplied the anti-theft spells to."

"That was very helpful.  Have we had a problem?"

"Two vamps trying to raise something huge that have not a clue how to do so," Xander admitted.  "I put a new lock on the sewer entrance and gave Spike a key."  Giles smiled and nodded at that.  "I changed your locks too."  He held up the keys.  "I also fixed that patio area for your landlord because he was fussing it was going to take months to get it fixed and it was keeping the other apartment from being rented.  I told him it'd take three days and fixed it over a long weekend.  Your newest neighbor is a young teacher up at the college in the english department."  Giles smiled, heading home.  Xander watched him go, getting back to work.

"Wow, is there a forget spell on you?" Buffy asked.

Xander shrugged.  "Probably not, but I handled things well enough."  He tapped the counter.  "We have the college rush tomorrow with their workstudy payday.  Can you heft up the candles in the non-use class?"  She nodded, going to get them for him.  He looked at Tara, who smiled and helped him arrange things in the windows.  Including pulling down the shade partway so nothing would get too warm.

Xander started some spicy incense, letting the door stay open for a while to let it scent the air outside the shop.  It tended to bring the non-practicing in to get some.  College kids loved incense and candles.  A lot of the decorators did too.  "The purple were a special order," he reminded Buffy, who put them in the office.  Xander called her again to remind her they were in.  Then he came out to help arrange things for the college kids.  The real practioners were used to having their stuff toward the back.  Xander also worked on the upstairs/storage area.  They used it for excess books but they could use it for so much more.  Especially for the more experienced practioners.

"We need a new bookcase," Tara said.

"Yeah, they're waiting to be picked up."

"I can go," Buffy offered.

He stared down at her.  "That would require driving.  Have Giles get my keys and take you since I have a truck."  She nodded, calling him to come get her so they could pick up things.  He tossed her his keys and they got back to work using that space up there.  The research stuff got put into the research center, which got a velvet rope put around it and a table among the shelves.  The other stuff for sale got put on the other side with some necessities that they didn't want where *everyone* could touch them.

They went in a locked case so they knew when someone came near them.  Including a few artifacts.  The two new bookcases were locking ones and it let them put some of the more expensive and rare books in them, sending two bookcases down to the main floor area.  They still needed two more but they were on order.  Finally they had it set up and it was nice.  Xander and Tara came down the stairs together and rearranged what Buffy had slightly mixed up.

Xander put out more of the workout clothes, which were by the windows.  He added in the natural hemp and fabric bags as well.  They made a nice looking topper to the clothing racks.  Plus a few other things on that section for the more yoga oriented crowd.  He called the yoga center to let them know they had some new stuff in, including the oil incense she liked.  Then he got back to cleaning.  The store needed vacuumed.

The local yoga instructor walked in and smiled as she took a deep breath.  "That is a charming, warming scent, Xander.  Wonderful."

He showed her the tin.  "It's a mixed spice blend out of Pakistan."

She sniffed and nodded.  "It smells better burning but wonderful."  She went to look at the stuff for her classes, finding some things she needed.  And a new purse she had been wanting.  She smiled, letting Tara ring her up.  "You two have done such a nice job for Mr. Giles."

"He's back," Xander said.  "He's unpacking."

"That's charming.  I hope he appreciates it."  She took her bags, and the small box with the oil bottles.  They always put them in a cardboard carrier for her so it couldn't spill.  "I'll let the students know that you've got some new stuff.  Did you ever get the plus size stuff?"

"It's due in Saturday," Xander told her.  "If FedEx is right."  She nodded, smiling as she walked off.  Xander checked the time then her.  "Were there dinner plans?"

"Not yet.  I'll text Buffy and see."  She did that.  Xander finished the vacuuming.  She tidied up around the register, keeping track of what had been bought.  "Can't we link the inventory to the bar codes?"

"Yes but that's a complicated system that Giles might not appreciate.  It's already linked in through Quicken."

"By this, we're going to be out of candles soon."

"I doubled our last order."  He leaned over to look.  Then he went to look downstairs.  He came back up to find Giles scowling at the vacuum.  "It needs it."  He got back to work.  "Make a note that we need more red and black tapers, plus the white pillar sizes."  She nodded, making that note.  He finished up and put the vacuum up.  "There."  He smiled.

"The research center is roped off with a small table back there.

"All the really expensive things for real practicing people plus the really expensive books went into the locked cases.  As well as the artifacts.  That lets us use that for those things."  He pointed.  "The yoga class runs tonight at seven but tomorrow at five.  So we'll get some of them tomorrow probably before or right after class.  Workstudy paychecks at the college come out tomorrow so we've arranged stuff for their needs.  Because they like candles and incense."

"I've noticed.  It's a good strategy.  Does it work?"  Xander nodded with a grin.  "You're sure?"

"The college buys three-quarters of our candle stocks each time they get paid," Tara told her.  Someone came in.  "Welcome to the Magic Box."

Xander looked.  "Hi, can I help you find something?"

"Do you know anything about the green things outside massing by the parking lot?"

Xander went to look then shrugged.  "They're usually harmless but those are in the young punk age.  If they're going to be a problem we'll talk with them later."  He smiled.  "Did they cause you a problem, sir?"

"No, just wondering."  He pulled out a knife.  "I want your axe, boy."  Xander smacked him hard on the side of the head, making him whimper and drop his knife.  "How did you do that!" he whined.

"Because you're pathetic.  Who wants my axe?"  The man mumbled something.  "Anyone else with a plan?"  He nodded, mentioning that he saw an online auction over it if they could get it.  "I'll stop that.  Thank you for telling me that.  Tara, can you call Hank."  He waved a hand at the guy.  "That way he gets to go away safely."  She grimaced but called him.  The demon showed up and grabbed him to walk off dealing with him.  Xander walked into the office, getting online to look things up.  He found who was selling it on him.  "Aww, that's so sweet."  He looked up.  "Tara, I'll be late for patrol later."  He grinned and faded out.

"Well," Giles said.

Tara smiled.  "He'll be back in a bit after destroying them.  He likes to destroy them."  She turned on the radio to the news station and listened.  Sure enough, LA had another mysterious problem with a building that fell down by itself.  Xander came back dusting himself off.  "Were they stopped?"

"Yup.  And they're really sorry when I showed up to point out they didn't have my axe and no one could sell it anyway.  It was blessed and special."  He grinned.  "They decided they're not happy and I'm going to destroy them.  I assured them they were right about that part."  He went to clean up a few scratches and then came out to find Buffy scowling.  "Wolfram and Hart are trying to reform."

"Again?  Are you yanking on them the way Angel does?"

"Yeah.  Because last time the germ lab got found."  She grimaced.  "So we'll let the agents do what they need to while I piss them off some more."  He smirked.  "Anyway.  Are we doing dinner tonight?"

"We have patrol and I was going to talk to Giles about watchery things," Buffy said.

"Cool.  I'll go home, cook dinner.....  Maybe veg."

"Aren't we open for hours?" Giles asked.

"No, today we're only open until seven.  On fridays we're open until nine.  Saturday's too."  He showed him the new hours sign.  "That let us go earlier on our slow days."

"Plus more lunch traffic," Tara added.

"A lot more," Buffy agreed with a smile.  "Since we look harmless a lot more normals have begun buying."

"The local decorator does a lot of stuff too," Xander agreed.  He smiled at the man walking in.  "We've moved the research center and the artifacts upstairs, Mr. Hervis."

"Thank you, Xander.  I sense that will help those of us who practice not be infected by the college girls who want to try it out."  He went up to look, coming down with his usual orders.  The herbs got another stop but it was just off the stairs.  And then two candles.  "No pure ones?"

"Um..."  Xander looked.  "Yeah, I switched the shelves on those because that one's near the heat register."  Mr. Hervis smiled and got them, letting Tara check him out.  "Remember, let us know if you need stuff for a rite so we can special order."

"I'll need some french moss in about six months but you usually carry that."

"That's usually gathered in the summer so it'll be dried," Giles said.

"Yes, it usually is whenever I do my yearly blessings on my family."  He smiled.

"But there is another version of that moss," Xander said, moving to the counter.  "It's fresh but it's from South Africa and Paraguay."  He let him see the catalog page.

"Hmm, nearly double but fresh instead of dried.  I'll consider that later.  I didn't know those markets had opened again."

"With the way things are going, you almost have to go global to fit in," Xander said with a smile.  "We have some lovely African herbs coming next month for ritual work.  Mostly standard ones but some for the usual Samhain protections being laid and for the traditional Yule ceremony in the Adam's College quad."

"That's wonderful.  I'll let Helen know, Xander.  Thank you for being so thoughtful.  Much nicer than Anya was."

"Well, she was a former vengeance demon," he quipped with a grin.  "And she did try to steal stuff."

"No wonder the New York community is shunning her."

"Yeah, that's why."  Mr. Hervis smirked and left.  Xander looked at Giles.  "That way she has a lot harder time doing it to someone else."  He let him see the new herb catalog.  "The other new distributor."

"They're expensive but fresher herbs would be more useful," he said.  "Special orders?"

"Yes.  We can fax to them and have it within a week," Xander said.  "For some things they just had better quality and the markup would be about the same price on our end.  A few cents more a pound for better quality."

"That does make good sense."  He flipped through it.  "That is a charming mask."

Xander looked.  "We have two of this one coming," he said with a point.  "Because one of the decorators was looking for them.  She special ordered them.  Then there's this one I'm getting a single one of because I thought it might look nice with that group.  Plus it's already got protections on it.  Which is handy."

"Very."  He kept flipping.  "Are there others that have started business?"

"I looked online for more suppliers.  They've been in business for over a hundred years.  So I don't worry about them going out of business.  There's another six I've ordered catalogs from and they're due in soon.  Oh, switched the mail to the post office box for here because of that hate group.  That way if they send another rant at the store with a threat we can hand it over quickly and easily.  They know to watch out for those for us."

"Wonderful job."  He smiled.  "I'd like to look at those when they come in."

"Sure.  Should be soon."  He held up the keychain.  "I put the spare box key on yours."  Giles looked and nodded, going to get the mail.  The tape on the key had the number.  He looked at Tara, who smiled.  "Did we lose that decorator?"

"I don't know.  I haven't heard anything.  Everything but the candles were prepaid."

He nodded.  "They were."  He looked out at the beep.  "That's FedEx or UPS."  She let them into the back door and he signed for them, taking the order forms to check things off.  The other two deliveries showed up as well.  Including their new candles.  He got them tucked into the hallway for now.  He'd carry them down tomorrow if they didn't need them for the college students.

He called the decorator's office to update her that the masks were in as well.   He packaged the special orders with a copy of their invoices stapled on the bags.  He was still missing something so he called them while leaning on the counter.  He had the feeling something bad was going to happen today.  He was right because someone tried to break in.  Xander stared at the guy with the gun, pulling up his small machine gun.  The guy backed out whimpering.  Xander kept staring at him.  The guy fled, right into a cop.  Xander smiled and waved.  "He tried to rob us."

Tara leaned out.  "The new Yoga outfits are in as well."  The officer smiled and called his wife while he walked off the stupid person.  She came back to put out more of those.  "Did we get all the sizes?"

"All but the two smallest.  And the largest.  There wasn't anyone that needed 6X in the group.  We can special order them some."  She nodded she understood that.  "Though they look really comfy to sleep in, they'd probably fall off us."

"True.  I have one of the 2X ones that's huge on me but very comfy to sleep in."  He grinned. "I know it's much too big but it's comfortable."  She swatted him on the hand.  "I think he was stunned."

"Probably."  He checked the clock.  "Ten minutes."  She smiled, taking the cash back to the office to count.  "Do we still have that mysterious ten dollar leak?" he called at her dirty sounding sigh.

"Yes!  The bill you put in there disappeared."  He smirked at her.  She smiled back.  "With the dye pack, yes."  She got everything else bundled up for the end of the day while he closed up shop.  One last person hurried in but that was the decorator and she got Xander's help carrying things and paid with a credit card for the candles she wanted.  She scowled at Xander too.

"We just got the masks in a few minutes ago," he said with a cheerful smile.  "I knew you needed them for a showing this weekend."

"Yes.  Thank you, Xander.  At least you didn't nag too much."

He smirked.  "Tomorrow is the college's payday for students and you *know* how much they love candles."

She snickered.  "It's so they don't realize how ugly someone they're sleeping with is."  She smiled.  "Do you have more?"

"We have another six boxes.  I ordered extra in case some broke or you added to the design."

She looked then shook her head.  "I shouldn't need more than one box for something next month."

"Then I'll put out five or make sure I have a box next month."  He winked.  "Tapers again?"

"Yes.  These are wonderfully sized."  He smiled and she left.  Those candles got added to the display for the college kids.  He did good designing the displays.  She admired that in a store.  So much nicer than the tramp had done.  She came back.  "How many pink ones do you have?"

"We have some in fleshy pink.  We have some in girly pink.  We have some in something called Princess Pink, which is bright pink.  We have some subtle rose colored ones too."  He let her see that section.  "On the backside are the thicker ones and the Princess Pink ones."

She looked.  "That is aggressively pink."

"I figured there's a Barbie girl somewhere.  That's why I only ordered that one box."

She smiled and took what she wanted.  They weren't perfect but it was hard to find pink candles.

"Oh!" Tara said, realizing something.  "He forgot the floaty ones."  She went to get those.  Those were pink roses meant to float in a bowl.  "And you can use the incense oil instead to give it a nice smell."

"Those are nice.  I could use those in the office."  She sniffed the incense oils, picking up one she liked.  "Will these work in normal burners?"

"Yes," Xander agreed with a grin.  "The yoga shop uses them as well."

"Hmm.  Pine?"

"A lot of the college students like the pine because of the way the dorms smell."

"Good point.  They do stink."  She charged them and walked out with that bag and the cardboard carrier for the oil.  She did like those kids.  A lot.  They were so nice and had a lot of ideas.

Xander smiled and they restocked those things before going home for the night.  Xander's dinner of mac n'cheese got interrupted by an officer telling him someone had tried to break into the store and had gotten electrocuted.  Xander turned it off by phone so they could gather him.  The officer said it was all clear so he turned it back on.  They all liked and respected him a lot.  Xander went back to his box of food and some rest.  When he was ready he went up for some training time.

***

Xander walked in the next morning.  "Good morning, kids."  The college kids all grinned.  "I see Giles opened a bit early for you guys?"

"Tara's here before classes," one said, holding up a pillar.  "Any in this shade?"

"I can get some but that was the last of that rainbow box that you got last time."  She grimaced.  "But.... the decorator didn't need all her purple tapers.  And you can tie them together since you said you use the glass pillar holder."  He showed her those.

"Those will go really well with my curtains and my holder has walls nearly that high.  That's not a bad idea, Xander.  Thanks."  He grinned and let her buy what she wanted.

Xander smiled at Tara, logging into the computer to note he was in then went out front.  "Thanks.  If you had called I'd have been here soon."

"It's fine.  Breakfast was gross and I saw someone waiting."  She smiled and left, going to classes.

Xander logged into the register and smiled at them.   He walked over to light some of the new incense up.  "That's the new stuff I just found.  I'm not sure if I like it or not.  It smells a lot differently in the tin but outside most of them seem to smell pretty decent."

The kids sniffed and a few bought some cones.  They preferred stick incense.  He added more boxes of those and they liked that.  He had to restock the yoga clothes at lunch and all the candles.  Half the incense was gone too.  But he always planned to have a new shipment come in right after college paydays.  He made another order for the clothes too.  Giles walked in and looked around, staring at him.  "Restocking."

"Wonderful news.  I've never had a day when I needed to."

Xander nodded.  "We do on workstudy paydays.  We'll have another surge in a few hours before people go out tonight and a small one in the morning for those who want to spiffy up after their parties the night before.  We get a lot of incense sales then."

"Yes, dormitories can stink at times," he agreed.  "What are these cardboard things?"

Xander opened one and pointed.  "For the liquid stuff so it can't spill."

"Oh, I see.  That's charming.  Expensive?"

"Thirty cents each but with the markup on the oil it's practical.  Plus nice of us.  Because if that stuff spills it probably won't be coming out and then they'll pout at us because that's how Americans are."

"True."  He put that back and smiled at the two girls coming in.  "Good afternoon, ladies."

"Hey, Beth, there's some of the purple tapers the decorator didn't need."

She looked and took the rest of them.  He held up the last box with a grin.  She took them too.  She also bought a lot of incense and oils for later on.  "Thank you, Xander.  It's a working circle night."

He stared at her.  "Do we need to arrange to lurk up that way?"

"No!  Even the bigot group won't bother us this time.  We're using a spare lab in the chem building this time.  It has locks and things."

"Extinguisher?" he prompted.

"We'll be safe and bring one in.  I know you'd hate to miss us."

"Yes I would.  The world needs more girls like you and Tara."  She kissed him on the cheek and got a few more things, buying them so she could head out.  "Beth, chalk?" he called.  She came back to get some and bought it then left with a wink.  He grinned at the other girl.  "She's part of the campus's Wicca group."

"I know.  She's a nice girl even if she's that way."  She looked at the yoga clothes.  "Do they only come in these styles?"  He got her the catalog to look over.  "Why don't you get this one with the flowers?"

"Because most of the ones who buy the shorts are guys.  I can special order whatever you want and that company usually takes about two weeks.  It is thirty percent up front for all orders."  She nodded, picking out what she wanted and paying him.  He took down her information and handed her the receipt once he had faxed it.  She smiled and bounced out calling her mother.  Xander put that into the special orders box.

Giles had watched him.  "That's very nice.  What if something happens to her?"

"Then I refund that thirty percent if someone asks for it and tell the yoga teacher that they're on thirty percent discount.  It's only happened once.  Sunnydale's cleared out some since she did that."

"Good to know."  He patted him on the arm.  "You do show a talent for this work."

"I learned by watching Anya screw up the store."

"True.  How did we do yesterday?"

"We had almost three hundred in sales."  Giles gaped.  Xander smirked.  "It's not bad.  Oh, the owner of the building showed up earlier to talk.  He wants to leave Sunnydale and is talking about selling the building.  He wanted you to have first right as the present tenant.  He also owns a few other stores in town."

"I'll call him in a bit.   Why is he leaving?"

"His son has cancer and he's moving closer to the treatment center," Xander said quietly since someone was walking in.  "It'll be a fairly cheap building.  The appraisal site said that it's worth about three-quarters of what he's asking so you'll have room to negotiate or even use the rent as a credit toward some of it."  He smiled at the guy.  "Gamer?" he guessed.

"My girlfriend wanted something from here for her birthday."

"Does she usually shop with us?" Xander asked, walking around Giles to take the guy toward things that could be classified as presents.

"Yeah, she gets some candles and stuff.  She said something about an elephant?"

"Hmm.  Ganesh is good luck," he said, showing him those.  "Or we have ..."  He looked around.  "Had, they sold today."  He got that catalog and let him look at that page.  "Or was it that?"

"She said something about a pretty jeweled elephant."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "You must be dating Missy."  He smiled and nodded.  "This," he said with a point at it.  "It's strictly for ceremonial things.  That's often worn by those who want to include a bit of luck since it's to Ganesh, but it's for things like fancy dress ceremonies.  Is she getting ready to graduate?"

"Next spring."  He fingered it.  "That's not that expensive."

"That one has the lesser stones.  There's ones we can order with more expensive ones for things like weddings.  All the way to ones with diamonds."  Xander flipped pages, having to look it up but showed him that entry.  "That's what they carry if you don't like that one.  I'd go with that color since I see her wearing it a lot and it looks good on her.  Still in the girlfriend birthday present range but not too fancy."

"She does like that color.  Who's Ganesh?"

"He's a Hindu deity.  He's got a lot of jobs," he said, spotting that book and bringing it over.  "He's the God of removing obstacles and of intellect, also arts and sciences.  Around here, we see that being worn some for weddings.  A lot of brides here in Sunnydale carry good luck omens on their wedding day and that's an unobtrusive one."  He smiled.  "Though Missy just likes elephants as far as I could tell."

He grinned.  "That's really helpful."

"We have a lot of comparative religion people in here so we have references."  He grinned.  "Or, if you don't want to go that high, there's a Ganesh charm for a pendant."  He led him to that case.  They squatted down to look at it.  "That and the one on the third row nearer to you could be put together.  That's her birthstone if I remember right."

"It is."  He stared.  "That's cuter and more practical."  He smiled.  "Can I take them both?"

"Yeah, though we don't sell chains.  But Mr. Mikan, up at the pawn shop by the bank, he has some really nice inexpensive chains and can put it on there for you as long as you don't talk to Brad.  He's kinda an ass," he offered with a grin.

"Thanks, Xander."

"Not a problem."  He walked around to pull them out so he could see them.  "This one's fifteen and that one's sixteen.  They're both plated silver.  I'd suggest higher end but unless you want to spend fiancee money...."  The kid shook his head.  Xander pulled out something.  "This is white gold.  It's two hundred."  The boy moaned, staring at it.  "That's a small diamond chip, real diamond.  So if you ever need the fiancee present....."

"That'd be really sweet for her," he agreed.  "It's our first six months so I'll go with the two this time.  Next year maybe."

Xander nodded.  "You always want to make sure before you blow the major money."  The kid nodded.  Xander got them boxed up for him and rang him up.  "Also, she was talking to her friend earlier about fluffy cupcakes if that matters."

"She's throwing a party."

"That's wonderful.  The world could use more parties that don't involve liquor."

The kid grinned.  "Yeah, especially at the college.  Thanks."  He left, going up to the pawn shop.  He did talk to someone other than the guy wearing the 'Brad' name tag.  He was more than happy to work within his budget and find something nice to put those on.

Xander smiled, making a note on the outgoing sheet.  He put that charm back and locked the case.

"We have brides wearing Ganesh?"

"Yeah.  A lot of brides do around here.  And any other luck deity they can find.  Also, the huge garden they like to use for outdoor weddings around here have stones with prayers to him and a few other luck and love deities by the pond."

"I did not know that."

"That's been in the last few years, since graduation, but yeah.  There's been a lot of it.  It ties into the higher rate of mystical belief around here too.  Plus the stronger religious roots."

"Interesting.  When did we get a comparative religion text?"

"It was here when you opened?" he said dryly.  "The gamers like it because it helps them with a few different games and it's cheaper.  Plus laid out fairly well.  A lot of the new Wicca and thinking toward that way kids also look at it to compare."  He got it and let him see it.  "It's laid out for that age group to appreciate."

"I can see that with the drawings and things but that is nicely compact and handy.  Enough of an overview to let you know where you want to look."  He handed it back.

"And at twelve bucks it's a handy little desk reference that a lot of kids use."  He put it back.  A group of boys walked in and Xander stared.  "Let me know if I can help you guys find anything."

"We need stuff for the football team."

"Luck inducing or not?" Xander asked.

"Luck would be nice but the ladies are avoiding us."

"Yeah, after that one guy this summer, they probably would," he admitted, coming over to help them.  A few looked confused.  "You guys didn't hear that your backup QB was found to be raping a few ninth graders this summer?" he asked quietly.  They all grimaced.  "So yeah, I can see why the ladies would be wary but I'm sure it'll ease soon.  Until then....."  He grabbed something and handed it over.  "It's a good coed game."  He opened it to the right page.

"It's nothing too hard, it's fun, can lead to other games.  I wouldn't do it drinking but you guys invite in a sorority for a game night and slip this in among them.  They'll giggle probably and a few might scoff but they'll play and you'll figure out what's on their minds.  Or who."   They grinned and bought the book.  It had a lot of luck rituals as well.  Xander grinned at Giles.  "Apples."

"Love apples are an ancient tradition and girls would like such things I suppose.  He was?"

"Yeah.  Right before the explosion.  One's mom walked in on them and she stabbed him sixty-nine times.  She was on trial and that was all over the local newspapers."

"Huh.  I must not have been reading that week.  Did she go away for it?"

"Nope.  They all said it was justified and gave her community service."  He fussed at some stuff.  "Let me put out the rest of the candles."

"I was wondering why boxes were in the hallway."

"So I didn't have to make multiple trips to the basement.  They'd go down tonight after I stocked."  He grinned.  "It saves my back and lets me get stuff without leaving people alone in the store."

"That's a good idea."  He helped him stock to figure out where things were.  "What's with this area?" he asked.  "It seems to break the pattern."  Xander pointed up.  "Oh, a heat register.  I had wondered why things were getting a bit of melting here."

Xander nodded.  "I moved the purer things on the other side for that reason."  They moved to take the window display down and two candles were a bit less than firm so they went on the sale table.  The rest got put back.   Xander considered the date on the calendar and then put out something else.  Something holiday themed.

"Already?"

"No, preplanning.  This could include Thanksgiving in a month."  He made up some cute signs and decorated for fall colors.  The few things like trees were more generic and not more than snow covered looking.  Plus he put up the toy train with some little shipping boxes in the cars.  That looked nice from the outside and he grinned.

Xander walked in and put up the shade a bit more.  "That means we don't have to change too much more for the holidays."  He put up stuff in the other window for 'fit mind and body' stuff. A few of the purses and bags, a few of the outfits laid out nicely.  Some jewelry and with the meditation pad and on the other side a few of the oils and incenses.  He decided that looked nice and backed out.

Giles walked outside to look and shifted something slightly then went to look again, nodding.  "Nicely composed.  Did we sell a great deal of those?"

"Yes.  The college kids think they're soft to sleep in."  He grinned.  "Tara started that one by getting a few and roaming around the halls in them when she had to."  He got more of them out and made a new order to replace what had been sold.  And a few other things that were in the new catalog.  Giles grimaced at one.  "That's a hip style and they're comfy."

"I'm sure they would be but it's a bit late in the year for capri's."

"Giles, it's California.  We don't get snow in this part of the state."

"Good point I suppose."  He could handle it if they weren't popular.

Xander also put up a sign saying that they were able to be dyed and colors were available by special order.  Then he went back to his orders.  "Should we order something from the clearance stuff for next spring?"

"Will it be popular?"

"I'm not real sure."  He let him see it.  "That's more a niche thing but some of the younger kids might like them."

"I don't think so.  It's not very magical."

"Actually, that's Harry Potter gear."

"Oh."  He looked at the catalog then shook his head.  "No, let's not."  Xander nodded and finished them, letting Giles see them.  "That's a lot."

"I added an extra box to the more popular holiday candles so they can stock up for the big dinners.  White, green, red, blue, silver, and gold."  Giles nodded at that.  "That's also got the Samhain necessary stuff for anyone working that sabbat.  Plus for the campus Wicca group who'll want orange and black for their usual yearly prayer session in the open.  Which I have to remind Buffy about as well," he said, making a note on the calendar.  Halloween was on a Saturday so they'd probably do it that day this year.

"Marshmallow what?" Giles asked.

"Ducks.  Fertility symbols for the holidays.  They're not Easter ducks, they're duck ducks."  He showed him that picture.  "I was thinking that candy line was cool for the holidays.  Gives the yoga crowd something to gnaw on that's sweet but still all natural."

"Hmm."  He looked it over.  "Why not the nuts?"

"Nut allergies.  If one pops open we'll have to clean a lot more to make sure no one who might be allergic would come in contact with it.  We can offer them for special order though."  Giles nodded.  "Though, this one, I'm getting myself," he said with a grin and a point.  He went back to working on the calendar.  "Dance," he muttered, writing that in.  "Big donor dinner at Adam's."  He made another note and two more on the next month.  "There.  Special events to watch out for."  He capped the marker and put it down, leaning out of the office at the sound of the door's bell.  "Hi.  How's the sprout today, Belinda?"

"Good.  Fussy but good."

"I found some of those all natural aspirin lollipops."  He showed them to her.  "The college kids were buying them for breakfast so we're out of grape and rootbeer."

She smiled.  "That might help."  She picked out two and went to the clothes.  "None in size ten?"

"There was a huge run on them earlier for jammies.  But let me check a box.  I haven't finished unpacking yet."  He went to check the back area and then the basement, coming up with three armfuls of folded things.  "All the stuff in size ten.  The box is huge so I'll have to carry it later."

She looked.  "Do we have a dampness problem?"

"Well....  Just in one corner but I thought I had fixed that last year.  I'll check that."  He put it aside.  "We'll deal with that later."

"If it can be washed...."

He checked the tag.  "I can offer it at a thirty percent off," he offered.

"Fifty?  That looks like a stain."

He scratched at it.  "No, that's not.  It's a water mark and it looks like a fabric run."  He looked at her.  "I can do fifty."  She smiled and bought it and most of the rest.  He rang her up and bagged things for her.  She walked out happier and he went to check that box.  He called a demon contact to see if they wanted them.  She did but couldn't come up until later and would be dying it so a bit of water staining wouldn't hurt it.  She'd be washing it first anyway.  Xander made a list of what he needed to fix that corner.  He hadn't realized when he pushed the box out of the way.  "That corner's damp again.  I'm going to reseal it.  It looks like it shifted sometime."

"New crack?"

"Yeah."

"Fifty?"

"Giles, it costs us fifteen for each piece," he said quietly.  "We sell them for thirty-five."  Giles nodded at that.  That still made them a small profit.  "I'll have to check the rest of that box.  I didn't even realize.  But a nice demon is coming to get those."  He went to bring the box up.  The things that were still good got put out.  Xander moved everything else away from the walls as well.  Most of it was needed upstairs anyway.  "Hey, she left the little gold things."  He handed them to Giles.  "Put those on the bottom shelf of the locking glass case?"  He nodded, arranging those so some flashy things were in front, followed by the subtle things, and then the expensive things.  That's how Xander had arranged the rest.  The rest of the inventory came up and Xander got to work on what had some damage from various causes and what didn't.

"Xander, why no athemes?"

"Because we need a special permit to sell weapons.  Even ceremonial ones."

"I didn't know that.  Expensive?"

"Lots of paperwork and they know to ask if they need one.  The same as if they need the more expensive altar gear they know to ask."  He looked at the full clearance table.  "I need to get Spike to clean the basement," he decided.  "Plus help me fix it again."  He moved to call him to come do that later.  Since he lived down there half the time....

Giles shook his head.  "What if the building is sold?"

"Most of the time, the new landlord will only want to go over what your old lease was since it's fairly priced," Xander admitted.  "There's no law saying he has to uphold the old lease but most will because a tenant paying rent is always better than an empty spot.  Or you could buy the building.  Which would mean no more rent."

"I dare say the mortgage would be more expensive, plus taxes."

Xander shook his head.  "Most likely the building is going to go for under sixty thou.  That's what it's appraised at."  Giles gaped.  Xander stared.  "Which, with the average mortgage payments I found online would be about six-fifty a month for the ten year option of the loan.  That's half of what you pay now.  Actual rates may vary but that's what the 'what would my payment be' calculator said.  Plus, property values are rising."

Giles stared at him.  "Did you read up on it?"

"It's been on the nightly news."

"Oh."  He went into the office to call the landlord's office and talk to him.  He didn't want a lot for the building.  Which would leave him with those apartments upstairs that were in dreadful shape.  "Xander, how much would it cost to fix up the apartments?"

"A crapload.  They all need new wiring.  Under a hundred grand to do them all at once probably."

"That's a lot."

"That's a lot of reno work and it's expensive in town right now," he quipped.  "There's only two companies and they're in back orders."

"How much would it cost me to get you to do it?" Giles asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I'd need the building inspector to go through and tell me what's needed versus what's wanted.  I know the electrical's crap.  I know there's a few broken windows.  I'd have to gut and rebuild."  He looked at him.  "Probably a little more than the building's worth to do all four properly and that's without the bathroom and kitchen fixtures."

"How much more would that cost?"

"Depends on what you wanted.  Floors can run as much as 2 bucks a square foot depending on what you want.  Counters can be that or more for the really good stuff.  Bathtubs can run anywhere from four hundred to three thousand.  If I was doing it the way I'd want to do it?  About eighty total, pending unforseen problems like all the plumbing needing replaced because it's lead or finding asbestos."

Giles nodded, calling him back to talk to him about why he hadn't.  His comments about the cost were about the same.  Giles winced.  "Can you do one or two apartments and not the rest?" he called.

"No, the whole electrical grid needs to be redone," Xander called, walking into the office.   "Gutting the top levels at the same time would make more sense anyway.  Especially since they're all on the same circuit.  So putting power to it will flow through all of it."

"So you'd have to at least do all the wiring before anything else."

Xander nodded.  "Or I could sink the town.  I have plans for that."  He grinned.

"I don't want to know," he admitted.  Xander went back out front.  His landlord sounded worried but he pointed out that the boy had been in the explosion thanks to trying to stop Willow and he was qualified to demolish the rest of the town if the government had wanted to do so.  Plus it'd never be allowed to happen.  They chatted a bit more and he sighed once he hung up.  "That's much too high."

"It could be worse.  Prices are going up.  Especially after the tax appraisal next month.  If you do it this week it has to go by this year's appraisal."

"That's good to know."  That gave him a few days to consider his options.

Xander looked in there and then shrugged.  He had his ideas.  It'd be expensive but....  Then again did he really want to own property in Sunnydale?  There was a good chance the town could sink within days at any given time.  But with what he was seeing... maybe some insurance on the job front might not be so bad.  So maybe he'd talk to Giles about signing the shop over to him if he wanted to leave again.  "Are you going to visit Joyce tonight?" he called.

"Yes, I was."  He got up and came out.  "Are you sure you can handle it this weekend?"

"Did I not handle it for three weeks?" he asked dryly.

"Well, yes, but you are prone to leaving now and then for things."

Xander stared at him.  "Tara."

"Fine."  He walked off.

"Giles, if you're planning on leaving again in a permanent way, what're you going to do with the shop?"

"Well, if the building's bought there's not much I can do depending on what the new landlord would want."

Xander stared at him.  "Not the question."  Giles flinched.

"I don't know," he admitted.  "Though you could go be with your uncle in New York."

"No, I don't think that's wise."

"He wouldn't want you?"

"I think New York's not really ready for me."  He stared at him.  "I could've left anytime.  Being somewhere more quiet is always better."

"I suppose that's true.  I'll consider that as well."  He left.

Xander rolled his eye.  "Sometimes the man is dense."  He called Buffy so she could beg for a ride down too.  She hated taking the grayhound to LA.  Xander settled in to make some future plans if he didn't get to stay in Sunnydale.  Not that he really wanted to go to the east coast again.  He had seen enough of it generations ago.  Maybe south.  He hadn't been in Mexico since it was a Spanish colony.

***

Buffy's phone beeped with a message.  "What's that?" she muttered.  She answered Xander back.  "Giles, something happened."

"What, Buffy?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know.  Xander hasn't answered back yet.  His 'everything's fine and we're okay' message wasn't really reassuring."  She got one from Tara.  "And it's bad.  It's real bad."

He took the phone to read from, grimacing.  "What happened?"

"I don't know."  She took it back to call.  "What happened?"  She got hung up on.  "That's a bad sign.  Tara hung up on me."

Giles nodded, turning on the tv to see if anything was on the news yet.  He had watched yesterday while waiting on Joyce to wake up and found a fear demon that he sent Buffy after.

***

Back in Sunnydale, Xander looked at the person in front of him.  "Are you suddenly Jean Gray?" he asked dryly.  "Because that would explain the routine issues."

"No," she snorted.  "Comics aren't real, Xander."

"You mean like the redhead who scanned you?" he asked dryly.  She growled.  He stared at her.  "What are you doing back here?"

"I'm supposed to be here."

"No.  You're not.  You haven't been supposed to be here since you blew up half the town."

She glared.  "That's not what happened."

"Yeah, it was.  I was there."

"It was not," she snarled.  "And those flowers had better be gone, Mister."

"Bite me," he sneered.  "You have no control over what anyone else does.  Especially since you can't control yourself."  She tried to throw a spell at him but he caught it.  "No, that's not going to work either."

"You should've stayed with your gay husband sort," she sneered.  "That's all you're good for."

"Yeah, but we broke up years ago when he wouldn't compromise, long before the marriage took place.  He's happily married now.  I helped arrange it for him."  He smirked.  "Though he did want to stab you a few times since he's a master of knife work."

"Like you're a master of nothing?" she taunted.

"Actually, I'm a master of a few things," he said dryly.  "You just never realized.  I mean, hell, you never realized I was immortal until I told you."

"You're not now.  I made sure of it."

"You can't do that.  You're not the All Father."  He smirked.  "And since I was born this way, there's no way to remove it from me."  He stared at her.  "Why come back here, Willow?  You should've gone somewhere far, far away."  He was wondering if any of the SHIELD guys at the prison were still alive but he was sure they were tracking her by now.  They had to have alarms, right?  She threw another spell and he caught it and stored it.  She was getting huffy and that was a bad thing but he couldn't do anything about her right now.  Though he knew it was always going to come down to this in his soul.  She shrieked and threw more spells.  He threw a knife, making her scream when it hit her shoulder.  "You should really go while you have the chance."

He had to block off the years of history they had together or this was going to be just as painful as when he had staked Jesse.  But it was his duty so he had to.

***

On Atlantis, John was frowning.  Something was clearly wrong somewhere.  He could feel that itchy feeling that meant someone he knew and cared for was in trouble.  His team was on the city.  Which left very few people.  No one bothered his mother because she'd make them sorry.   Which left the usual suspect.  Who was also the cause of the last time he had felt this way.  He considered things and went to find Clay.  "I'm sending you to Sunnydale.  Something's going on."

"Okay," he agreed.  "Is Xander coming to get me?"

"No, I think he's in trouble."  Clay packed more weapons onto himself.  "Good idea."  John felt along the power lines, finding Roque merged with Clay's lines.  Roque could kind of shadow shift.  Xander had been able to teach him that.  So he showed up and snatched Clay, going to Sunnydale.  John breathed in relief.  They'd handle it.  He went to stare at the water for a bit.  He'd hear soon.  That was the only bad part about being on Atlantis, the waiting for news.

***

Clay appeared, staring at the redhead in front of him.  He knew her.  He knew why she was a problem.  He also saw something behind her.  He thought about the little pink puffball for a second then stomped on it.  She shrieked and went limp, then faded.  "Little pink thing?"

Xander stared at him.  "Fear and nightmare producer," he said quietly.

"Okay."  He walked closer, looking at the kid.  "That's mine too."  Xander slumped, nodding as he looked down.  "C'mon, you need to rest."

"I can't rest.  The town's counting on me."

"Fuck the town," he said bluntly.  "It's not an invasion.  It's late enough that most people are safely locked in.  The cops are here."

Xander looked.  "New cops.  Decent ones even."  He shrugged.  "It was a fear and nightmare creature."

"That sucks.  You all right?  And you are..." the officer asked Clay.

"A friend of his."  He walked Xander off.  "C'mon.  We'll get you settled.  Same place?"

"No, she blew it up too."  Clay nodded, taking him home.  "How did you get here?"

"Roque."

"Huh.  I didn't think he remembered how that went."  He saw something lumbering toward him and stared.  "That's not possible."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, that was the principal before he got eaten by the mayor.  So I know he's dead."

"Can we kill it?"

"There's got to be another one around here somewhere."

"Can we kill that one then?"

"Definitely.  What did it look like?"

"Pink ball of fur."

"Eww.  That thing.  All right."  He concentrated and the zombie disintegrated before it could touch them.  Xander concentrated harder and more things faded around them.  Xander stared, looking around.  "Tell me that's not my imagination rebuilding the town," he begged.

"I don't know, kid.  I know nothing about this stuff."

Xander whimpered, shaking his head.  "It can't be.  It has to be that creature."  He stopped concentrating and the zombie Snyder came back.  That he banished.  Then they moved on, Xander jogging to where it had to be feeding off the hellmouth.  Halfway there he got a slight vision and changed direction.  The thing had to be doing this, right?"

Giles stood up from watching Buffy slay something.  "Xander?"

"Giles, we have the little pink nightmare creatures again."

"All right, why do you look so flustered?"

"Because when I concentrated to banish one of them, half the town went."

Giles stared at him.  "I was wondering how long it'd take you to realize that," he said calmly.

"I am not!  I'm not that powerful!  I'm not that desperate either!"

"We all have fears of you turning into Willow," Giles said bluntly.

Xander snorted.  "I've had my powers for centuries now and I've never wanted more power.  A bit more speed and stamina but never more power.  This isn't me."

"It has to be you.  You know, they said that you had some power surges recently."

Xander stared at him.  "You're not Giles."

Clay walked over and swung on the guy.  He faded.  "C'mon, it's bad, but I know it's not you, Xander.  We have to find that thing before it drives others suicidal."  Xander stared at him so he nicked his thumb with his knife.  "I'm real.  John sent me."

"Thank you."  He gave him a quick hug and they moved on.

Odin appeared.  "Grandson... why did you wake me?" he asked.

"How did I wake you?  And why am I always your grandson when I'm having an issue?"  Odin glared.  He pointed.  "We have a colony of things creating nightmares and personally I'm about certain you're the next one I've got to face right now," he said, sounding a bit hysterical.  "I don't care!  And I sure as hell didn't call, Grandfather.   No waking you up or anything."

"You're being impertinent again," Odin warned.  Clay walked around Xander, taking his arm to pull him off.  "Why is he in this state?"

"Because these little fear and nightmare puffballs are attacking him," Clay said.  He could feel the power so he knew that was really Odin.  They found the group meeting of them.  "Shit."

"It's a fucking convention," Xander said dryly.

"So we do this the army way," Clay ordered.  Xander nodded and pulled out a gun, shooting most of them.  Which made the few that they didn't get in the first round broadcast at them.

"Hmm.  I can see a double image.  That must be what they're trying to do."  He tried to call down power and it wouldn't come.  He looked at his hands, then at his grandson.  "Did you do something?"

"No.  I'm just going nuts here."  He hit a few more then he called his axe, which wouldn't come.  Xander dropped into the battle spot in his mind, and it came, glowing and shiny.  He sent it out to kill more of them and called it back to him, putting it back.  That left three for Clay to shoot.  One of which John and Roque stomped on.

"I hate these little things," John said.  "I know they're native to near where Mom lives."  He blasted the rest of them.  "Huh, better."  He looked over at Xander, and Clay, and Odin.  "All Father."  He smiled.  Xander was still staring at him.  "What?"

"Prove you're real," Clay called, helping Xander up.  "He's been hit a few times."

"Heros don't show up in nightmares," Xander said quietly.  Roque smacked him on the head, getting kicked for it.  That started a brawl.

John looked at Clay.  "Yeah, that's about normal."  He pulled Xander over, hugging him.  "I'm real."  Xander sniffed him and relaxed, just holding him back.  "Calm down.  Remember, it'll feed on your worst nightmares."  Xander whispered something.  John let his senses roam.  "No, you didn't create the town."  Xander passed out.  "Huh."

"If his father caused this, I will be chaining him up somewhere very unpleasant," Odin complained.

John stared at him.  "Not everything is Loki's fault.  These things live and breed upriver from our mother."  Odin grimaced.  "They don't mass like this usually so someone sent this as an attack on your grandson and I seriously doubt it was his father."

"If Loki had wanted him this batshit insane, he would've left us where Rosenburg sent us," Roque agreed.

"Why did she pick you?" Clay asked.

"She heard about post-battle stress relief.  Before he set us up."

"So she decided you two should be miserable together?"

"On a place with no shadows."  Clay shuddered.  "Two suns.  I had second degree sunburns."

"So did he," John agreed.  "Plus where the explosion ripped into his eye.  Doctor Lam said he still has some debris too."

"That sucks ass," Roque said.

"Enough," Odin ordered, walking across the cleared area of mangled little puffballs.  "Why are my powers not working then?"

"Either there's one left or it's because it's the hellmouth, All Father," John said.

"Xander said his father's powers went wrong here and he couldn't leave.  He made Thor babysit him," Roque said.  "If we could wake him up, I'd ask him."

John tried to get Xander to wake up but shook his head.  "I'm not getting any response yet."

"His first one was Willow," Clay said.  "I got her so he didn't.  Then Mr. Giles nicely told him they were worried about him turning into her.  That was after the zombie principal that somehow made it look like he had created the town with his powers."

Roque sensed around, shaking his head.  "I can't feel his energy in many places.  The hellmouth, a garden area, and a store that has a lot of candles."

"That would be the Magic Box, where he works," Giles said as he walked up to them.  "What happened?"  Clay pointed at the puffball massacre.  "Oh, dear, not those again.  Last time it was his clown phobia."

"They don't usually swarm this way," John told him.  "So this was an attack."

"That would probably be why I didn't get any."  He stomped on another one that was waddling over.  "Why won't he wake up?"

"Not sure yet but he's feeling really tired."

Roque checked the axe he had on him.  "No, that's his.  I know some people have been wanting it really hard.  I killed some of them last week."

Clay smiled.  "He told Jensen about this law firm he's been taking down recently."

"Yeah, I got some of them in a permanent fashion.  He was being too nice for too long letting the agents handle it."

"We would like him to keep a lower profile," Giles complained.

Roque stared at him.  "He did, you didn't know any of this about him until recently."  Giles flinched.  "Don't criticize the boy for doing his damn job."  He looked at Odin.  "If you still can't pop out, we'll get someone to take you to Thor until you can clear it.  I heard it took him about three days."

"I'd rather not talk to my spoiled son."  Xander moaned.  "Finally."  He kicked him on the foot.  "Grandson?"

Xander blinked at him.  "I didn't do anything!"

"No, it was clearly an attack against you," John said, helping him sit up.  "You better?"  Xander nodded, holding his head.  "Let it go, Xander.  Whatever you're doing, let it go."

"That's the garden."  He looked that way.  "Distance vision would be handy."  He concentrated and blasted the demons in it.  The lone peaceful one they were threatening got up and ran off now that she was free.  Xander swallowed and let things drop some.  More invaded the garden and John went to fix that.  Clay helped Xander up, letting him lean on him for a minute.  "Thank you," he said quietly.

"I like pulling rescue duty," he quipped, getting a weak grin back.  "You need to rest, Xander."  He nodded, swallowing hard.  "We can walk you home if your mentor doesn't."

"I don't know where he's staying right now," he admitted.

Roque looked at him.  "Is that because you treat him like he's the extra kid you didn't really plan on having?"  Giles spluttered.  "Yeah, I watched over him a few times.  Including recently.  We had lunch a week ago."  Giles glared.  "Let me make myself really clear.  I'm Roque."  Giles flinched, backing away.  "Odin and Xander's father nearly had me marrying Xander a shitload of time ago.  We may not have been able to work that out but we're still decent enough friends that he knows he can come cry on me if he needs to."

"Don't cry," Xander muttered, pushing himself upright.  "Quit being an ass, Roque."

"Shut up, Xander."  He looked at Giles.  "There's a whole bunch of us that admire Xander for his strength.  It's not everyone who can take out a whole war party of frost or fire giants by himself."

"The warriors I sent with him complained that he had them guarding things," Odin admitted.  "Heimdall said he's been good in his retraining as well."

"Good!" Roque agreed.  "He needs it.  He does dangerous, stupid, heroic shit.  Like come to the hellmouth to help out."

Xander blinked at him.  "One of the main realms we're getting leaks from is Ariivan."

Roque gave him a funny look.  "Where that princess that kidnaped you lives?"

"Well, long past now but yeah."

"Shit."

"There's a few others like that and their power to the hell realms power was what drew me.  Because someone needs to reseal the thing with better gaskets.  Especially right now since they're trying to get Willow to let go of it."

"If it opens, we'll die killing things coming out," Roque quipped.

"It'd be the kraken first," Xander said.  "It's on top."  Roque gave him an odd look.  "It's opened before."

"Damn."

"Yeah, that's how Willow linked herself into it."  He grimaced, looking at Giles.  "I can make it in on time tomorrow.  Not a problem."

Giles stared at him.  "You look like you're going to pass out again."

"I'm fine."  He looked at John.  "You got messy?"

"Yup.  It needed me to get messy."  He smiled.  "Good job."  Xander smiled and relaxed his shields and wards some, which made him feel stronger.  "You seriously need to work on those.  You tie yourself in too tightly."

"Yeah but that's the only way I know how."

"You can learn better."  Xander shook his head.  "If I can learn new things, so can you."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Why were we talking about the kraken?"

"It's on top in the hellmouth."

"Huh," he said, shaking his head.  "You blow that shit up, it works."

"Then the other millions of things come out," Roque said dryly.

"Good point.  Can't we end the hellmouth?"

"The only thing I've found that would cure the rip I can't do," Xander admitted.  "And as far as I know it's only a myth."

He hugged him.  "Just kill the ones threatening you, Xander.  That way you don't have to go through this again."  Xander nodded, hugging him back.

"You are much like your mother," Odin sighed, giving John an odd look.

"Perhaps if others acted like her, then my half-brother would be a happier person who had no trouble finding a mate."  Odin glared.  "I had a few I chose."

"I have no idea why I don't get more than temporary ones," Xander admitted.  Odin groaned, walking off.  Xander sent him home.

John sent a puffball monster he could feel with him.  Xander stared at him.  "What?"

"I have to go kill it there."

"You're a guardian of the villages.  Valhalla has its own guardians," Roque reminded him.  "You used to complain when you got told that."

"Yeah but he'll still expect me to come end it."

John smiled.  "You're busy.  He has war gods.  They can stomp on the little puffballs."  He stared at him.  "Maybe you should go see Mom for a few hours.  Rest, actually sleep, all that?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine, you haven't been sleeping right because that's been your retraining time."

Heimdall appeared, looking at Roque, who nodded at him.  They looked an awful lot alike.  It had started rumors.  "Nephew."  Xander looked over John's shoulder at him.  "What is that?"

"Fear and nightmare inducing."

"Not that hard to kill," Roque admitted.  He pointed at the ones around them.

Heimdall sighed.  "What did he do this time?  That's endangering us according to him."

"It followed him home," John said dryly.  "Odin was just here."

Roque brought Clay with him.  "Ladies, do not touch my husband, even if he dies in battle," he told the Valkyries.

One stared at him.  "He's due to come up here but when you're ready you can come gather him, Roque.  Do you know what that horrible thing did!"

"Yup.  Xander was just attacked by nearly thirty of them."  They shuddered.  "Clay and he got most of them while being attacked."  He walked into the throne room and stared at Odin.  "It followed you home.  Xander had nothing to do with it.  Quit picking on your grandson because of who his father is.  Before he decides to walk away from all of you over it."

"Many villages would die if he did," Frigg said, looking at Odin.

Roque snorted.  "If it hadn't been for me, John, and his sister he would've walked away ages ago.  Which means that you guys would already be down about a quarter of your villages because he's the one that stopped the giants."

"That was you," Odin said.

"No, I was backing him up.  I had no idea how to deal with a fire giant.  Not like they're native around my areas," he said dryly.  Odin glared.  "For seeing everything you sure as hell don't look too often."  Odin looked that way and stared, mouth slightly open.  "Yeah.  The one you discounted and derided for years.... you know, I'm wondering if Giles picked that up from you really.  It's like a toxic relationship."  He stared at Odin when he quit watching the past.  "Quit treating him like shit because he's your grandson through the son you hated to have born.  It wasn't his choice to be born and he doesn't really like his father either.  He's as close to one of the orphans as you'll ever see from kids with two parents."

"I should have let him stay with his mother," Odin sighed.

"If you had, he'd be their major warrior."  Roque shrugged.  "Quit treating the boy like shit.  Maybe that's why the little puffball felt you were a good match for it."  He disappeared.  He found John and Xander talking quietly.  "Take him to your mom.  I'm seeing serious mirroring of problems."

"Yeah, so did I," Xander said dryly.  "Then I went on a roadtrip to solve some things and blow off all that anger."

"I thought you stripped," John said dryly.

"Yeah, I did that too."  John grinned, taking him back to his mother's house.

Clay looked at Roque, who growled and pulled him closer.  "We don't have time for that today.  I have to get back to the city soon."

"Hmm.  Will they attack me?"

"The city might.  I looked you up in the stuff Jensen was finding and she thinks you're a horrible butcherer."

"At one point in time there was a war and I was."

"I figured it was something like that.  He pointed out that was side bias to the AI.  She agreed but said you were clearly dangerous.  Jensen told her we had served with you and she pouted at Pooch for days since he had been helping Radek work on some things."

"Huh."  He took them back.  John could make it back himself.  He smirked at Cougar and the two guys with guns.  "I'm bringing him back."  He let Clay go, smirking at him.  "Now you know why the rest of us think that Xander's insane."

"There's others like you guys?"

"Yeah, quite a few."  He smirked.  "Now and then we run into each other and have a drink."  He shrugged.  "Even they think Xander's the scary warrior sort."  He looked at the big guy with the knives.  "You look like fun."

"No, you can't dent Ronon.  I can't dent Ronon."  Ronon smirked at him for that.  "He's badass and killed a whole shitload of wraith by himself."

Roque smirked.  "Good.  Treat my former team like I would."

"No, he's sane," Jensen quipped.  "Nice to see you are alive."

Roque looked at him.  "Like some petty shit was going to take me down?"  He disappeared again.

"Former teammate," Clay said.  The guys with guns just nodded.

"If you're wandering around a jungle killing bad guys you want someone like Roque at your back.  Slightly insane and willing to kill everyone?  It's a good thing," Jensen quipped.  Cougar nodded.

Pooch shook his head.  "What happened?"

"Little pink puffball creatures that attack by creating your worst nightmares and fears."  Pooch shuddered.  "Someone made about thirty of them attack Xander."

"Shit," Jensen said, muttering something else.  "They gone?"

"Yes."

"Good!"  Everyone looked at him.  "Those things have killed whole towns, just a single one.  People go insane trying to fight the nightmares and fear.  They kill each other, themselves, their families to spare them.  I'd like to send one against the wraith, see if they work on them."

John strolled in.  "Not doable though I wouldn't mind.  We can't unleash that on the rest of Pegasus.  Otherwise yeah, I'd love to see it happen."

"How is the kid?" Clay asked.

"Mom's fussing over him and making him feel better.  He's had to stop her from going to yell at people."

"Good," Jensen said dryly.  John smirked at him.  "Anything else we need to hear?"

"Not yet.  So it's back to business as usual, guys."  They nodded and used the opportunity to cut sparring short and go get some rest.  Clay too.  John looked at Jensen.  "Don't even think about it."

"I'm not."  He smirked.  "Today."  He walked off with Cougar.  "Roque looked decent enough."  Cougar nodded.  "I guess his homicidal ragings around the globe are slowing down again.  Must be running out of drug and weapons dealers."

John shook his head quickly.  "That one did look a bit scary," Ronon told him.

"Roque is.  He's very scary.  Which is why I'm so damn glad Xander denied him."  Ronon grinned.  "Let's spar.  I'm tense."  He took off his shirt and moved to get some sticks.  Ronon got his own and it was on.  Very stress relieving when you didn't have a lover.

***

Giles opened the store and looked toward the kitchen.  No Xander apparently.  No, there he was walking out with a cup of something warm.  "Have a better night?"

Xander stared at him.  "Mom said you're a fucking asshole who doesn't appreciate me and I should leave you and Buffy to die," he said conversationally.  "That's a direct quote so fair warning if my mother shows up."  He sipped his coffee.

Giles stared at him.  "Why would she think that?"  Xander looked at him, just staring.  "I know last night was a bit long...."

"So it wasn't you watching Buffy kill something and telling me that you thought I was going to change into Willow suddenly?"  He stared at him.

"Well, no; I do have that worry but I realize you don't have magic gifts."  This was clearly surreal.

Loki appeared, smiling at Giles.  Then at his son.  "Odin wants you."

"Mom walk up to him and smack him again?"

"Yes."

"I can't calm Mom down.  John's her favorite."  He smirked.  "And once again you sent yourself to Sunnydale, Dad."

He waved a hand.  "I'm on official business, son."  He looked at Giles.  "It's nice that Janus has people who follow him again."

"In my youth; I grew out of that stupidity," Giles said dryly.  Xander got taken by his father.  "Blast!  I have no idea what's coming in today."  He sulked but made himself some more tea.  It could only help his day.  Fortunately Tara came in to help him and that was excellent.  She was organized and knew where everything was.

***

Xander was walked into the throne room by his father.  He cleared his throat.  "Move."  The goddess in front of him sneered but moved.  He walked up there and snapped his mother's chains gone.  "You didn't realize after the last time she did that she's got a temper?" he asked dryly, staring at Odin.

"You're impertinent again, Grandson."

"So why am I only your grandson when you think I'm doing something wrong and the rest of the time I'm Alexander?" he asked bluntly, making a few gasp.  "I can't be a relative when I'm doing good things?"

Odin stared at him.  "Was your mind that bothered by last night?"  Xander summoned Odin's sword, putting it on the floor in front of him and staring at him.  "How did you do that?"

"The same way I've always done it to others."  He stared at him.  "Quit picking on my damn mother.  Last night was bad enough and you kinda made it a bit worse.  I do not need this today.  For that matter, I'm feeling a battle coming to Sunnydale so I don't need it next month either."

"You are becoming much like your uncle," Odin warned.

Xander stared at him.  "Watch me summon a horn and blow it," he offered.  Odin looked scared.  "Make up your damn mind, All Father.  You appreciated the hell out of my mother when she had me.  If she chooses to stand up to you when you do stupid shit then so be it.  You either appreciate all that we are or nothing.  And that's probably why my father turned on most of you.  You know, there doesn't *always* have to be a bad son."  He stared around the room.  "Any other complaints because I'm in *such* a great mood today."  No one said anything.  "Good.  Thank you.  Mom, would you like escorted home?"

"No, dear, I believe I should visit and check on your new dwellings."

"Mom, it's a tiny apartment.  Remember, I'm living as a mortal."  She scowled.  He stared back.  She slumped and sighed, giving him a hug.  "Thank you, Mom.  And for sticking up for me again."  He glared at Odin over her shoulder.  "Now, why don't you go home and rest.  It's going to be a long few days."  She nodded, letting Freya help her out of Valhalla.  He glared at Odin again.  "Did you expect someone not to answer for things?"

"I did nothing to you last night."

"Only made it a bit worse, yeah."  He stared at him.

Odin huffed.  "I did not summon them there."

"No, you're the one who told them how to get my axe from me."  He smirked.  "I found that out when I questioned one of the buyers."  Odin stared.  "By the way, you're missing a handmaiden, Frigg.  She's gone to visit your sister.  Permanently."  He stared at Odin.  "You fuck with me and I fuck back and I will make sure Ragnarok doesn't have to happen."

"You're not that good, Grandson."

Xander smiled and summoned something, holding it up.  "Really?"  They all stared.

"That's a nuclear weapon, nephew," Heimdall said.  "You like some of us."

Xander stared at him.  "Sometimes.  You mostly.  And yeah, I can shield whoever I want."  He stared at Odin again.  "Quit fucking with me on purpose because whatever plan you made with my father to get me unsuitably married off is now moot.  Roque's happily married and I set up the consummation event."  He smirked.  "I don't care what you think a future mate might do.  I do have some taste and not all of them have been dangerous.  Especially not to you guys."

"I can make you mortal, grandson," Odin said bluntly.

"No, you can't.  See, both pantheons gifted me with it."  He smirked.  "And Roque's because I saved them.  And Greece's because I saved them.  Which also translated into Roman terms."  Odin started to shake his head.  "Yeah.  You sent me to help out."  He grinned.  "How do you like that plan now?"

"You are dangerous to us."

"I'm not dangerous to anyone unless they fuck with me," he said simply.  "I don't know what's taken possession of your mind, but I've had enough."  Odin tried to hit him and Xander proved he was training nightly.  Odin was back against a wall and disarmed within a few minutes.  Xander stared at him.  "Confess."  He put power behind it.

"I have nothing to confess."  Xander put more power behind it.  "Your father was foul and so are you."

"You made him and the foulness had to come from somewhere," Xander quipped.  "I doubt it was Grandmother since you call her a saint."

A male coughed and walked over.  "Alexander, we realize you have seen what we have not, that Odin is not himself.  We would like to keep the All Father alive."

"I wouldn't.  Even before this he was a pain to me."  He stared at Odin.  "That little plot for my marriage was long before this.  Which would have killed me probably and left all sorts of activity going on that I've stopped."

Loki cleared his throat.  "Son, only I get to kill my father."  His son threw a dagger at him without looking, making him yelp and banish it.  Xander summoned it back.  "Perhaps we have both underestimated you, Alexander."

"Yeah, like the girls in my life do."  He stared at Odin.  Then he threw a silver spike at his father, which he couldn't banish.  It made him shriek and fall down.  Then foam up and disappear.  Odin gasped, starting to splutter.  Xander stared at him, manifesting another one.  "Where are they?"

"In Hel's caves!" he babbled.  "We have gotten her as well!"  The other gods started to talk.  "Do not kill me!"  Xander killed him.  "Mercy," he begged.

"I wasn't taught that.  Odin thought it weak."  He looked at the God of War.  "So."

"We can go check, nephew."  He stared at him.  "You should come train with me more often."

Xander smirked.  "I've been training with Heimdall.  He likes me more."

"He does," he agreed.  "Banish that foul mortal weapon and we'll retrieve both your male relatives."

Xander shrugged.  "You can keep Odin," he said bluntly.  "Just in case he tries to marry me off to someone unsuitable again."  He handed over the sword.  "Anyone else going to fuck with me?"  They all shook their heads.  "Last call?"  They all backed away.  "Good.  Now let me go back to my mortal pretend life."  He disappeared.  He landed in the store, looking up.  Tara cleared her throat.  He looked at her.  "Just don't ask.  It's been a long morning."

The bomb appeared at his feet and he stared then shrugged and took it with him to Cheyenne.  "Here," he told the general, handing it over.  "I just caught an imposter in my grandfather's throne and nearly blew him up for being a bitch."  He disarmed it.  "That's better."  He smiled and disappeared.

The man on the screen looked at General Landry.  "Who was that?"

"A guy from near LA," he said bluntly.  "That headache inducing incident with the gate and your second-in-command?  That was him."

"Oh.  What did he give you?"

"A bomb."  He called Sam Carter.  She came hurrying up.  "Mr. Harris delivered this with a cryptic message about someone not being his grandfather."

"That's a nuclear device.  I wonder where he got it from.  Xander?"  He reappeared, looking at her.  "Where did you get it from?"

"Syria."  He smirked and disappeared again.

"That's very handy to know," she decided, taking it to the labs to finish disarming it.

Landry shuddered.  "Can we take over Sunnydale, sir?"

"I'm considering that."

"Don't dismantle it too far, Doctor Carter.  I'll need it in a few weeks," Xander called.  He walked in and leaned over to look in the camera.  "Sir, you might want to listen to more intelligence being gathered out of Saudi.  I had a vision that said that there's a terrorist attack planned on the US this year."

"When?"

"September.  Involving planes.  It was planes and then suddenly it went to geese, a whole lot of geese, flying into the sun.  I'm guessing that's a bad thing since even bigger battles, I see dead bodies instead of souls."

"I'll look into that.  Any idea who?  Or where?"

Xander nodded.  "I sent it to Doctor Lam's email because she was the only one I had and I have no idea who to tell beyond Agent Fury, which I did."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris."

He smiled.  "Welcome, sir.  I don't want that to happen to this country."  He stood up, looking at Landry.  "If you're going to decide to use the base under our college, which we don't mind, remind the guys that spring is always a bad time.  It's apocalypse season in Sunnydale.  We manage it but your newbies will freak the fuck out.  Oh, and if they're already there, we're having a battle this week but I'm not sure why yet."

"How do you know then?"

"I can feel the energy building.  After so many years of being in wars and protecting people....  You kinda get that feeling.  Ya know?"  He disappeared.  "Tell her I'm sorry if it scared her."

"I can do that," he said, calling her.  "Doctor Lam, you have a warning email from Mr. Harris about a vision because he didn't have anyone else's.  Thank you."  He waited and reloaded his email twice until it showed up.  "Here it is."  He read it over and sent it to the president.

"I'll see if we can stop that, Hank.  Thank you."  He hung up and started to yell for people to come see that.

Landry sat back and considered things.  The boy was dangerous and he did not want him dating his daughter Carolyn.  Even if she would be happy.

***

Xander walked into the store and kicked the door.  "I hate visions."

Giles stared at him.  "What one did you have?"

"An attack on New York."  Giles moaned, shaking his head.  "Yeah.  Next month."  He waved a hand.  "And we're moving toward a battle here.  I can feel the building tensions."

"All right," Giles said.  "What do we know for certain?"

"Not a thing."

Tara cleared her throat.  "I've hear whispers on campus," she said.

"The military guys aren't the same group."

"No, the half-demons I've heard have been hoping they'd hide them."

"Damn it.  Any idea why?"

"No.  I know Willow started that fear."

Xander nodded.  "She did in me too."  Tara smiled weakly.  "See if you can get one to talk to you?"  She nodded.  "Buffy and I will visit the local network later."  He checked the store then looked at Giles.  "No customers?"

"No, not yet thankfully.  Do you know what's coming in today?"

Xander went to get the laptop, bringing it out.  "This is the tracking site for each of the major shippers.  They send us confirmation of shipping whenever we order and that has the shipping number."  He got a folder.  "This is the ordered file.  I move it from here to invoices to paid."  Giles nodded, looking them over.  "It looks like there's only this weeks so that should be easy to do.  They tell us who they ship with except this one and they only ship through the yellow truck people," he said, getting into that screen.  "It looks like they'll be here later today.  They come to the back door because it lets the trucks stay out of traffic and take enough of a rest break to get a snack at the bakery and coffee shop."  Giles smiled and nodded.  "They usually pull up and honk then bring stuff."

"Usually they show up between two and five," Tara added.  "They're very nice."

"They are," Xander agreed with a grin for her.  He smiled at Giles.  "When it comes in, one of us inventories, then files it and notes to the company anything that may not have been shipped.  That's usually by phone."

"That's an easy enough system.  We fax orders in?"

"Yes.  We could do most of them online but this way we have a copy and they all accept fax orders.  Plus the fax machine lets us get in special request orders to be shipped.  Which we do through UPS.  The brown trucks.  They're cheaper and if you tell them it's an oil or something liquid, they'll make sure it's packed properly when we take it to the UPS store up the street."

"Splendid," Giles said with a smile for him.  "It seems you have it well in hand."

Xander shrugged.  "We knew it drove you nuts before."

"Good point."  He smiled and they got things ready for the incoming customers.  Xander put on a cone of incense.  "Doesn't that eat into the profit?"

"No, we sell them by the tin and by the cone both.  It lets people smell what it's like, because the tin makes them smell strange.  I stick with the new scents for these.  Though, that stinks."  He put it out and behind the counter, putting a quarter onto the register for now.  He got one of the others, grimacing.  "Eww.  They changed the sandalwood scent or mismarked this one."  He got into another tin.  He checked the tin codes and moved them where they needed to be.  "We never burn the Moroccan Spice one.  It stinks.  A lot."  He got two evergreen ones and put them out.  That smelled a lot nicer and covered the other one.  He grinned.  "That was from an already opened tin.  Those we put into the little plastic jugs."

"That's fine.  As long as it's not shorting anyone."

"No."  Someone came in.  "Hi, Mistress of the Poses.  What's wrong?"

"Did we change suppliers for the clothes?"

"No, why?  Did something happen?"

"I had two blow out seams last night."

He stared at her.  "Were they the ones that bought too small?"

"One was fitting instead of looser but the other one shouldn't have."

"Who?"

"Belinda."

"Oh, yeah, she got some stuff that had been in the basement and got a touch of water damage on clearance."

"It did smell mildewy.  So we think it was just that?"

"I'm pretty sure but check the others."  She moved to check them.  One did give.  "I'm going to call them right now then.  Were they both this shirt?"

"Yes.  I haven't seen any of the others, just this one style."

"I'll call and nag."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Thank you for letting me know.  I'll take those in."  She smiled and left.  He handed Tara those outside the one he needed the number from.  He called them.  "Hi, this is the Magic Box in Sunnydale and I have a problem with a specific item that apparently has seams breaking."  The customer service rep puled up what she needed.  He read off the item number.

"Yes, by them.  We haven't seen anything from the rest of their clothes.....  Oh, they aren't made by the same company.  I thought they were since the tags were the same."  He listened. "What others do they make?"  He pulled them off the rack.  "Thank you for that.  Um, can you check our present order and remove those?"  She checked.  "Yes, just made by them.  Thank you and for that flagging not to order it in the future.  You have a great day too."

He hung up and called someone.  "Cordelia, isn't there a start-up Indian clothing company in LA?"  She said something and he walked off.  "Can you arrange to get me a catalog or for me to come see them?  One of our suppliers of the yoga and working clothes has really weak seams.  That'd be fine.  I can travel and check on Joyce that day.  Thanks, dear.  Let me know.

"No, things are going about the same as usual up here," he said dryly.  "You know how it is in the fall."  She muttered and he nodded.  "Yup, just like that.  Thanks, Cordy."  He hung up.  "She'll get me in to talk with them later this week if possible.  They are handmade.  They make native clothing.  So it's not that bad of an idea to see if they have anything we might like."  Tara smiled.  "Want to come with that day so we can check on Joyce?"

"I wouldn't mind."  She smiled at Giles.  "If you won't need us."

"No, it can only benefit the business."  He smiled at Xander and Tara, who went to get a drink at the coffee shop.  He leaned on the counter, staring around his shop.  It was doing a lot better now that Xander was running everything.  "Perhaps he ran some stores before," he decided.  He heard a honk out back and went to let the driver bring things in.  He signed the slip and got the invoices for those companies.  One was fairly expensive.

Seeing it nearly gave him a heart attack but it was the note of 'special order' that made him happier.  Why did someone need seven thousand dollars worth of herbs for?  He checked, they were good quality.  So was everything else.  By then the children were back and handling things.  Tara called that order to let them know.  "Did he pay up front?"

"For things that big, yeah," Xander said with a smirk.  "For anything mystical it's fifty percent or more up front, depending on if we've dealt with them before and what they're getting.  That one wants to raise a dead person but the rite he was using looked different than the one I've seen."  He shrugged.  "Just his wife," he said at the opening mouth.

"Is that ethical?"

"Giles, there's business and then there's full ethics.  If someone orders through us to start an apocalypse we'll handle it and have a lot of warning.  If it's something magically iffy, I have Tara and I go over things."  Giles relaxed and nodded.  "We'd probably never sell anyone anything that could start an apocalypse.  Unlike Anya, who sold that cursed demon box."

"Don't remind me," he muttered.  "It cost a fortune to get back."

"I would've snuck in and broken it."

"That is not ethical."

"Or had someone sneak in and break it.  Spike would've."  He grinned and got back to work.

The old man walked in.  "Xander."  He smiled at him.  "You are sure that's the proper thing to do?"

"Yes.  Because if I have to fight an apocalypse...."

"Good point I suppose."

"That's why we asked what you needed it for."

"Ah, even more cautious than the bint that used to work here."

"Oh, yes.  Quite."  He smiled.  "We make sure the world doesn't end and we don't sell people things to let them try it."

The older man smiled.  "That is good to know.  It's very ethical of you too."

"Yes, the store got a lot more ethical without Anya."  He snickered.  "Tara, do you have his all bagged?"

"I'm double checking," she said quietly, smiling at him.

He looked it over.  "Is that supposed to be grass?"

She looked at the bag then the invoice.  "No, they said it's the special order of the weeds from a gravesite."  She let him see it.  He nodded that was fine and took things.  She smiled as she stapled a copy of the invoice on the bag.  "You have a good day."

"You as well, my dear.  Such charming help he hires."  He winked, making her blush.  "Have a good time, children."  He left, going to start his rite.  It was nice they were that ethical, even if the owner wasn't.

Xander and Tara shared a look, her shrugging some.  "That's what it said."

He nodded.  "If it's not right we'll deal with it."  She smiled and they got back to work.

Giles watched them work.  They were certainly efficient and running the business without him.  The other deliveries showed up and he handled those on his own.  The system was well thought out and worked well for him.

"We shouldn't have a rush in the next two weeks," Xander said.  Giles nodded and they carried things down the stairs.  "Watch that corner!"

"I am."  He checked the shelves before putting boxes on and then went back upstairs.  "All those little knickknacks?" he asked.

"Locking cabinet upstairs."  He pointed.

Giles went to check on them, taking a few out.  "I believe those were Spike's, Xander."

"I had him check to make sure but he didn't say anything."  He shrugged.  "He'll be back tonight for patrol.  He's out of smokes."

"Are you psychically linked to him?"

"No kitten poker games last night and the night before's patrol he only had the single pack left so he's got to be out by now."  Giles walked off cleaning his glasses.  Xander smiled at Tara, who smirked back.

***

Clay watched as Jensen stiffened and grabbed his head with a moan.  Then Cougar started to growl and fur up.  Whatever wasn't affecting him or Pooch yet but it was clearly not a happy thing.  He sensed around them with his new higher senses and nothing was coming to him.  "Guys?" he asked quietly, moving closer to Jensen.  "Snap out of it."

Jensen stared at him.  "Someone's trying to broadcast at us," he mumbled, looking around.  He stared.  "There's a wraith."  Cougar shook his head.  So did Clay.  "Yeah, there is.  Or something that can broadcast an illusion the same way."  He went to dragon form and stomped over to beat the shit out of that one.  It was a single one.  It screamed as he stepped down on its head.

"Okay, there is," Clay said, radioing that back.  This planet was supposedly uninhabited.  The city had used it to transfer things for trades in the past.  They were checking it before a major trade cargo was shipped over.  "Chuck, we found a wraith pissing Jensen off."  He hung up and whistled.  "Get off him."  Jensen growled down at him but did let him go.

Pooch looked.  "Isn't that Michael?  They gave us a picture of him in orientation."

Jensen changed back and shrugged.  "So?  He was giving me a headache and he's a wraith."  He stared around.  "Let me scope out the area."  He changed to his smaller size and flew off.  He changed in mid-air to cover ground faster.  He came back, seeing the other soldiers so he changed in the woods.  "All clear as far as I can tell," he said as he walked out.

"Good," Clay said.  Sheppard walked up to them.  "He was giving Jensen a headache."

Sheppard looked and nodded.  "Good.  Head back.  We'll see what he wants here."  The others nodded and Clay's team left.  His backup Marines were ready to cuff Michael and set up for a discussion.  Though Michael looked like hell after Jensen had stomped on him.

One of the Marines looked then at John.  "Who kicked him around?"

"Jensen apparently."

"He's one really tough geek," that Marine decided.

John nodded.  "Their whole team is Special Forces, Sergeant.  He took the same training, he's just really smart too."

"Good for him.  We need to do that to our geeks, sir."

"I would but can you imagine how much even Radek would complain?" John asked.  The Marines shuddered.  Radek's would be worse than McKay's yelling.  "Beyond that, most of them are getting a lot more field training than they would back at the SGC, just because of the stuff we face out here."

"Think we can all get the pay raise?" one of the Marines joked.

"Ask Landry and O'Neill," John quipped back with a grin.  "I doubt they think it's as bad as it can be."  Michael moaned and John stared at him.  "You wanted to talk?"

The wraith that John had made deals with in the past stared at him.  "You have one of those sort?" he sneered.

"Yes, we love Jensen.  The city loves Jensen."  He smirked.  "Why?"

"Their kind," he said, trying to stand up, then moaned and stopped.

John laughed.  "I find nothing wrong with him or his people.  I know a number of very nice ones who left those idiots at home."

The wraith stared.  "We were not aware of that."

"Hmm, or that my little brother, Alexander, supports them as well?"

"The ones the myths talk of?" the wraith demanded.

"Yeah, that's my little brother."  He smirked.  "You guys *seriously* underestimated people like us."  The wraith was giving him a horrified look.  "Xander?" he called, bringing him stepping out of a shadow with a cup of cocoa.  "Swiss Miss?" he guessed, taking a sniff and a gulp.  "That's nice."

"Giles brought back real cocoa."  He grinned, smirking at the wraith.  "Ah, one of you.  Funsies."

John nodded.  "The main base wanted one to look over.  While I'm against that sort of thing generally....."

Xander held up a finger.  "Let me warn them.  Be right back."  He took his cocoa with him, landing in the infirmary since that's where the general was.  "John said you wanted a wraith?  I'm making sure before I bring it back.  He's kinda dented a little bit but still dangerous enough to be tied down."  He took a sip and grinned at the pretty doctor.  "Giles brought me back real cocoa from England."  She smiled at him.  "Still want him, General?"

"We do," he agreed firmly.

"Okay, be right back."  He put down his mug and disappeared, then came back with the struggling, whining wraith.  Xander handed him over with a grin for her.  "I think he got his butt kicked good."

"He looks nicely bruised," she agreed.  He beamed at her.  "You?"

"John said Jensen."

"Aww, that's nice of him."   She darted him with a sedative dart.  "That's wonderful, Xander.  Thank you."  She let him kiss her on the cheek and blush a bit before disappearing with his cocoa.  A few minutes later a nice, hand made card on heavy paper appeared on top of a small box.  She read the card and grinned, opening the box to smile at it.  "Awww.  Fancy hair pins."  She showed them to a nurse, who cooed.  "He's very sweet."

"He seems like it."  Carolyn Lam put the present and card on her desk then came back to look over the wraith.  The biologists were trying to find a way to kill them from a distance and they wanted scans of what one looked like inside to check for differences between wraith and humans.

The general watched, scowling at his daughter for being so happy to be courted.  He probably didn't want Xander Harris as a future son-in-law.

Maybe he'd have someone go discourage him?  Since the boy wasn't scared of him.

5: Old Ones In Style

All the old ones have to step together to end a plot, but first there's some lighter stuff, like dates. And clubbing.  And more gooing and courting.

Buffy looked up while patrolling.  "I've been wondering how they know you.  The ones at the protest started on 'that's Alexander' and so did that vampy vamp, Xander.  Were you doing something before you got here?"

"I've been at a few important battles and my duty is to guard villages from giants."  He shrugged.  "There's no telling what rumors started from something innocent and moving onward with each retelling.  Like the one that said you have a clit ring that someone started."

She shook her head.  "Not likely," she complained.

"I'm told they're fun," he joked.  She swatted him.  He smirked back.  He turned and staked the vampire trying to sneak up on his blind side.  Then he looked at her again.  She was giving him a strange look.  "Battle senses."

"Oh."  She nodded and they went on.  "So it was just being in the right place and someone older realized and spread that you were mean?"

"Probably.  I mean, it could've come from anywhere."  Well, not really but he didn't want to hear her take on godly wars and things like that.

"Are you in the Ragnarocky thingy?"

"Slightly in the full version.  Apparently I'll lose my temper and kill half of everyone in my way to get to my mate's side.  Which is strange since I haven't found one yet."

She grinned.  "They'd better be nicer than the one your father set you up with."

"Roque's not a bad guy, Buffy.  He's a bit tired from all the fighting he's done over the years.   He's scary and growly but not a bad man overall.  He's a warrior, like I am."

She nodded.  "You're not built like that."

"No, my father's a skinny dork," he said dryly.

"I've seen that."  She grinned.  "He so showed up last night to talk to Mom."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "Mom ripped his ass a new one and the nurses ended up seeing him when they thought Mom was hallucinating.  One ran into him so he had to become visible."

"Good of him.  Why was he talking to your mom?"

"About you."

He nodded slightly.  "I'll go talk to him later."

"Maybe it was happy talking," Buffy offered.

"I doubt it.  It never has been before."

"She said he was trying to figure out what you've been doing recently."

"Huh."  He considered it.  "That's probably a bad thing then."  She smirked.  "Who knows with him.  As long as he doesn't try to set me up in another arranged marriage."

She laughed.  "Would you two have worked?"

"Back then, nope.  He wouldn't even agree to switch off which duties we'd do.  He decided I was younger and prettier so therefore the wife.  We didn't agree to that.  That's why we didn't marry."

"Pity.  You could use someone there all the time."

Xander stared at her, then smacked her on the head, making him change back.  "Hi, Dad," he said with a smirk.  "How long have you been a blonde?"

"Dork am I," he sneered.

"Yes, you're the patron saint of them," he said bluntly.  He stared at him.  "Where is she?"

"With her mother.  Being a dutiful daughter.  Is it really so strange to think that I might want to know how you're doing?"

"Yes.  Because you're not like that without a plan or a plot."

Loki stared at his son.  "I could be trying to bridge some of that gap."

"The last two times you tried that nearly got me dead from your plots," he said firmly.  "I doubt any sort of 'wanting to get to know the son' things from you.  We all learned better."

"I could legitimately have a good intention, son.  Especially toward my only son."  Xander kept staring at him.  "Fine.  If you so believe me that evil....."

Xander snorted.  "Like I said, it's nearly gotten me dead a few times."

"How do those sort know you?  And the firelings, son.  You weren't there when they showed up."

"I was so."

"No... you were in the villages."

"Odin sent me to Greece, remember that?"  Loki nodded slowly.  "It was only a few centuries after that.  So where was I again?"

Loki stared at him.  "We all assumed you had went back to your duty."

"Odin told me I wasn't needed, to go help others and make the pantheon friends and contacts."

"He never mentioned that."  Xander nodded.  "How do you get back and forth?"

"Shadows.  I don't have to use the bridge."

"Oh.  I hadn't thought of that potential benefit."  Xander grinned.  "Are you actually happy doing this?"

"Not every day, no.  But I'm needed."

"Girls have done it alone for centuries."

"Yes, which sucks for them.  Which is why ours is the longest lasting ever."  Loki moaned, staring at him.  "Then again we've handled a lot of bigger things that no single person and a watcher would be able to handle.  Like an ascension."

Loki licked his lips.  "I believe your half-brother was worried that this style of hunting would warp you."

Xander snorted.   "No.  Killing people I've known for years has always bothered me.  Them being vampires doesn't make it any easier or harder."  Loki stared at him.  Xander stared back.  "One last chance before I have to find out the hard way, Father.  What plan or plot is this?  I don't have the time right now to deal with you starting another one.  We have bad shit starting and we're not sure why beyond a chaos sorcerer."

"One of mine?" he asked dryly.

"One of Janus'.  I've already talked to him and he said he can't stop him."

"That sucks, son.  What are you going to do when you can't shadow shift?"

Xander smirked.  "That wasn't a gift from you guys."

"Krishna didn't make you immortal."

"You'd better ask that of him," he pointed out.  "And I don't have to be immortal to use that gift either.  Immortal just means harder to kill, not impossible to kill.  I've always known that."  Loki glared at his only son.  Xander stared back.  "Any other helpful words of wisdom?  No, Mother," he sighed when she showed up.  "He's not threatening me."

"He's right, Krishna never did get to confirm you, son."  She smirked at Loki.  "I clearly had better taste when I slept with John's father."

"Gee thanks," Xander said dryly.

"You are the only worthy thing he has ever done," she told him.

"I do have that sister, Mom."

"I...  She's a bit...."  Xander stared at her.  "I'm not used to women like her, son."

"Uh-huh.  Whatever as they say in this day and age."

"You have always supported her," Loki snorted.

Xander smirked.  "I've also leant her seed to have changed into her own so she can have a natural child."  Loki growled.  "This age has many miracles still available."  He smirked at his mother.  "Did he call?"

"I will."  She stared at Loki.  "I agree, you do lord over dorks."  She disappeared.

Xander looked at him.  "At least she's not Aphrodite," he quipped.

Loki shuddered.  "I do not like that Goddess."

"Yay, Dad.  Anything else?  Or can you end this plot now?"

"What if I found your mate?"

"I wouldn't trust them coming from you.  You had bad taste in what would suit me last time.  Roque and I would've been mortally wounded by the end of the honeymoon night."

"That was to give you a strong spouse."

"If I wanted one of those, I have some women I can go pick up," he said dryly.  "Including some of the Asian pantheon's daughters."  Loki moaned, disappearing.  Xander looked up, seeing the face staring at him.  "I don't know," he told her.  "It's him plotting something again."

"Yes, it is," she said.  "Your father was correct however.  Krishna did not confirm you as part of our family, nephew.  Come."  She held out a hand.

Xander called someone and took it.  "Buff, me, I'm calling off early on patrol.  Mom's family needs to talk to me."  He hung up and they disappeared.

***

In LA, Buffy stared at her phone then at her mother.  "He said he's calling off early.  His mom needed to talk to him."

"His father will hopefully be spanked by his mother's family."

"That'd be a nice change, yeah."  She smiled at Dawn when she strolled in.  "Are those two hundred dollar jeans?' she demanded.

"Yup," Dawn said happily, turning to show her the label.  "From my paycheck."  She beamed.  "I found a translation error that would've cost jobs."  She sat down.  "Plus I'm making decent enough money for my college fund.  Most of it goes in there but I have tonight off and Pepper said I could go to a teen club as long as I was safe. "

Buffy smiled.  "We can club."  Dawn beamed at her.  "You still can't pick up any boys."

"I know.  They're all yours."  Joyce snickered.  They both smiled at her.  "When you're at full Mommy strength, we'll bring you out to get a cute young thing that'll tire you out the right way."

"I know we came to be that way and all but I *so* do not want to think about Mom having sex," Buffy complained.

Joyce laughed.  "Some day I may want to date again," she agreed.  "But not yet.  Let me get fully recovered and back home."

"Of course.  Not until you're ready to be at full Mommy strength," Dawn assured her.  The daughters fussed over their mom.  It was a happy day that she was getting better.

***

Xander looked up from his meditating on Krishna's orders.  "'Nubis," he said with a nod.  "Are you visiting officially?"

"You have knowledge Hathor wants," he said.

"Of?  I'll probably share any knowledge I have."

"The Supposed Ones returned?"

Xander smiled.  "My half-brother John works with those who fight them."

"Interesting.  Where might he be?"

"The City of the Glowy Ones."

"Huh.  Is it there?"  Xander nodded.  "I don't have time to travel that far tonight."

"The ones here are being helped by military and non-military people."

"Any who might have ties to our peoples?"

"I know of a former ascended who works with them.  Daniel Jackson."

"I remember him finding out the truth and people not believing him."  He considered it and nodded.  "Do you know of him well enough?"

"He's in Colorado."  He looked around.  "Krishna and Mother have me meditating right now.  I would not show up as a human.  He has fought them for years."

"I can take that information.  Does he know more than the Supposed Ones?"

"Yes.  He has some of our warriors."

"Interesting."  He looked and nodded.  "I can sense an ascended that way.  Thank you."

"It's not a problem.  You know that.  None of us want them back.  Or else I'd have to help there and I don't think I can do military things like John does."

Anubis smirked.  "No, you do not follow orders very well."  He disappeared, staying in spirit form with his official head on instead of his human one.  He appeared, making a few people jump.  "Daniel Jackson."

Daniel stared at him.  "Anubis.  It figures you guys are somewhere if Alexander is real."

Anubis smirked.  "I do adore that boy.  He saves me work.  We wish to talk about the Supposed Ones.  Alexander has said that you have knowledge we want.  You will come talk to us."

"Sure," he agreed.  "Right now?  We're getting ready for a mission."  He pointed.  The warriors were all bowing their heads to him.

"Alexander has said that some of you chose to help this battle."  One grinned.  "Thank you.  I will bring him back by the morning."  He took Daniel with him.

"Apparently some of the attitude wasn't posing," Cam said, looking around.  The warriors all shrugged.  "Are they all like that?"

"Stately and demanding?  Yes," the lead warrior assured him.  "My father fought the Pretending Ones and said they were more polite than our own.  They don't drink mead either."

"Good to know.  Will they hurt him?" Sam Carter asked.  They all shook their heads.  "Because we have a bad habit of the Gou'ald wanting to keep him."

"He is highly intelligent and a warrior in his own right," the lead warrior said.

"All Higher Ups would want him," the youngest said with a grin.  "He's a worthy spouse for a great warrior.  Including for one like Alexander."

The oldest looked at him.  "Alexander needs someone to take his attention from the fights he gets into but who can run off with him when he needs to.  That one may read too often.  He seems to fight when someone upsets him instead of always being prepared for battles the way Alexander does.  Though he needs a wife or husband who would like to take his attention from his retraining.  Soon hopefully.  He's grumpy."  The other warriors snickered.

Cam and Sam Carter shared a look.  "There's a man who could understand your job, Carter."

She swatted him hard.  "He's too young for me."  They looked at the staring general, who shrugged.  "I'm hoping they don't want to go fight what's left of them," she decided.  "Looks like we're on stand-down until Daniel gets back, people."  They went back to preparing for the mission.

"I heard all sorts of stories about O'Neill and Jackson getting into the weirdest things but I think this takes the cake," Cam Mitchell decided.  The warriors laughed.  He followed them out to the prep area.  Who knows how long it'd take Jackson to get done.  He just hoped they didn't have to go rescue him from someone else wanting to keep him.  They had no idea how to get wherever the real Egyptian Gods lived.

***

Xander reappeared in Sunnydale, looking at the vampires in the cemetery who were staring back.  "Mom wanted me to be confirmed as a son of the Pantheon," he said.  They all nodded and backed away from him.  "I can stake you guys if you're that scared."  They shook their heads.  Buffy got them anyway.  "Hi."

"Why the flower wreathe around your neck and the dot thingy?" she asked.  "I thought only girls wore those in India."

"No, not just women.  Mom wanted me noted officially."

"Oh, okay.  So the flowers....."  He nodded.  "Huh."  She shrugged.  "Okay.  Are you coming back to patrol in that?"

"Yup."  He smiled at her.  "How's your Mom?"  She gave him a scared look and he shot her.  "Shape changers out of Sunnydale."  The demon whimpered and changed back then gave him pathetic looks.  His axe appeared in his hand.  The demon fled.  "I mean it."

"Yes, Alexander."

Xander put back his axe and walked off.  They really had to do something about Sunnydale some year soon.  Before it drove them all nuts.  He texted Buffy to make sure she was all right.  She sent back that she and Dawn were in the club.  He sent back a 'be safe and use condoms so you're not a mommy next spring' and left it there.  Buffy had sense sometimes.  He hoped.

***

Dawn jogged into Pepper's office the next morning, kicking the door shut.  "Quick talk because I'm freaking out."

"Okay.  Calm down.  What's wrong?" Pepper asked, smiling a bit.  Dawn was such an alarmist sometimes.

"The boss took my sister home last night."  Pepper gave her a horrified look.  "And I don't mean to Sunnydale either."

"Dirt," Pepper muttered.

"Yeah, maybe.  JARVIS called my phone to let me know he'd be late this morning."

"Why call you?"

"I heard her squealing in the background and you're supposedly off today."

"Oh, yeah."  She winced.  "Tony's known to play.  Buffy won't get too attached, right?"

"No.  She's not clingy that way usually."

"Good!"  They shared a look and she considered it.  "Tony's off today."

"They moved that meeting with the guys in Burbank at that lab that keeps pissing him off to this afternoon.  That's what he called in late for."

"Yeah, that'll...  Damn," Pepper muttered, checking Tony's schedule.  "Okay.  Let's ...  He has sparring and training before then.  Let me call Howdy."

"He's the one that picked me up.  I dragged him up so he's outside."

"Howdy?" she called.  Tony's bodyguard walked in.  "Are they....."

"She's really loud," he said bluntly but he was smiling.  "I'm guessing he called off training too."

"Probably," she decided.  "We won't panic about this, people.   I doubt it's more than a fling, even if it is creeping Dawn out."  Dawn nodded.  "We'll see if anything comes of it.  If so, we'll deal."  Howdy nodded.  "Any other issues?"

"Fury was looking for both of them," he said quietly.  "When JARVIS called Dawn's phone, he was talking to him in the background."  Pepper moaned and put her head on the desk.  "Sorry."

"No, it's better we know about this."  She put her head back up.  "I'm sure he'll handle it."  Dawn snickered.  "Just calm down.  It's probably not permanent.  But it's nice he can keep up with your sister's enhanced stamina."

"Means the training works," Dawn agreed.  Howdy laughed.  "Let me unfreak out."

"Report card?" Pepper asked dryly.

Dawn smiled.  "It's online."  She got onto the school's website to show her.  "Just one B and it's in PE, which I sucked at because I can't play the games they like.  Sunnydale plays dodgeball, not basketball, and I'm short."

"Did you show your mother?"

"No, we made her giggle."  She gave her a sheepish look.  "I forgot."

"Fine.  Show her tonight so she can sign off on it."  Dawn nodded.  "Good job though.  I know that's a tough course load."  She smiled.  "Did you two have fun?"

"Lots and tons.  There was a lot of cute boys who're too old for me.  A few who even tried to get me into the back room but I was a good girl."  Pepper smiled at her.  "Let me go home since it's quiet today and I'm off school."

"I was going to ask," Pepper said dryly.

"The school sent me a text saying that they were closed due to water damage."  She showed her.  Pepper nodded and let her go home with Howdy.  Though she did check.  Dawn hated the present school.  There were a lot of snotty, young, rich girls with a sense of entitlement who hated her for being a real woman instead of a shallow twat who'd push out trophy children some year.

***

Cam looked up.  "Xander?" he called.  He showed up a minute later, giving him a pointed look.  "Can you go rescue Daniel for us?  Anubis still has him."

"I can see if they're done.  Otherwise that would be rude and cause issues."  He shrugged but faded out again.  He faded into the greeting area of their realm.  "Goddess Isis."  He bowed.

"Alexander," she said happily, hugging him.  "Are you on official business?"

"Someone wanted me to ask if you were done with Doctor Jackson yet.  His friends are getting nervous that you'll keep him like the Supposed Ones tried to do."

"He is charming and we do have a few daughters who are much taken by him."

"If they can handle it, their project could use help.  My half-brother is in Pegasus fighting the wraith through that project."

She considered it.  "That is a bad habit to have."

"They wanted to recover Atlantis and woke them up."

"Hmm."  She nodded.  "I'll see if any of them want to join them.  They're military?"

"Yes.  Some of our younger warriors that didn't have anything to do joined as well to help."

That's charming of them."  She walked him back there.  "Daniel, do you think some of our bored ones could help on your project?"

"Most of them aren't warriors but if they have college degrees in sciences it could help, yes."  He smiled at Xander.  "Cam or Jack?"

"Your team leader guy."

"Cam."  He smiled at his hosts.  "Can you tell them I'll be back tonight?"  Xander nodded and left again.  "When we found out who and what he was, we were shocked but he seems like a very good warrior and is a great helper at times."

"How did he lose an eye?" Thoth asked from his seat.

"There was an explosion by a witch in his town and it got damaged in that.  They couldn't save it.  My people's doctors helped him."

"That's very sweet of you," Hathor said.

"She transported him and Roque to another world.  He had to find me to get them back and him to our infirmary.  Then he had a vision so he went to see John on Atlantis.  He helped in a battle up there as well."

"Roque," Hathor said with a grimace.  "He is not one our pantheon likes."

"I'm told he's found a true mate that is good for him," Daniel told her.  "That Xander helped set up the consummation event as well."  They smiled at him.  "They had been on the same Army team for the US while Xander guards the hellmouth in Sunnydale."

"That figures," Thoth said dryly.  "He is very protective.  We adored having him helping us with that final battle.  He volunteered before we could ask his people."  He smiled.  "I do hope he finds a true mate of his own."

"I think we all hope that," Daniel assured him.  "Including his half-brother."

"John is quite the man," Thoth agreed.  "He offered his help once Xander had and he heard."

"John is a very nice guy.  I've worked with him on the city a few times.  He's a great pilot."

"I'll have to ask him about that," Thoth said.  "I have not seen any of the flying machines the humans have created."  He sipped his tea and the servers brought in a snack.  He nodded at the one serving him and she smiled back before leaving again.

***

Xander showed up that night, staring at the server who met him.  "His friends are saying they're keeping him and they're upset."

"He is coming now, Alexander," she said quietly, smiling at him.

"Thank you."  Daniel walked out talking with one of the high priests.  "Your female member is getting antsy."

"We've had to pull many rescues over the years."  He bowed to the priest, getting a smile and a bow back.  "I'm glad I could help.  Thank you for being such kind hosts."  He shook his hand and let Xander bring him home.  He smiled.  "I'm back.  Did you miss me that much?"

"Yes, it's been three days," Cam told him, staring at him.  "Are you all right?"

"They're wonderful hosts and we talked a lot about what was known and wasn't known.  Thoth wants to talk to John about planes and those things."  Xander gave him a strange look.  "John's a pilot, Xander."

"Considering he pissed off a witch once so he could be a bird for a few days, that doesn't really surprise me."  He smiled at the doctor.  "Hi."

"Xander."  She smiled.  "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay.  Burned my mouth at dinner."  She laughed.  He grinned back.  "Really hot cheese on the pizza."  He gave Daniel a nudge at her.  "This way you can make sure he was a good boy."

"I'm sure he was.  He's a very good diplomat for us."  She winked at the boy, who beamed back.  "Are you doing anything this weekend?"

"Only the usual patrols.  I was kinda hoping you might like a picnic?" he asked, sounding hopeful.  "Somewhere with fresh air and sunlight?  I never get out in the sunlight anymore.  The job I have right now is in a little store."

"We'll have to see what's going on around here.  Do you like the theater?"

"I haven't been since the 1890's in Paris."  She beamed at him.  "I'll have to buy a suit."  He winked and disappeared.

She smiled at Daniel.  "He's very sweet."

"He's very nice."

"We have teams coming back tomorrow night," General Landry said.

"It's still my day off."  She smiled.  "We do have other doctors on base and I haven't had a night off in months.  Plus I've been looking forward to this play for months, General."

"I believe your night off is the next night, Doctor Lam."

"That's funny, it's been Saturday for years."  Her voice was getting in that icy range.  He was going to pay hard for that.

"Tomorrow is Friday."

"Today is Friday.  Perhaps the general needs a full exam?"  The general gave her a horrified look.  "Doctor Cedric, the general can't remember what day it is. I think he needs a full workup.  Since we're related I can't do it myself."  She smiled at him.

"Of course, Doctor Lam."  He walked the General off.  "Come on, sir, we'll make sure you're still fine."

"That's so mean," Daniel said quietly.

"No, I believe he needs the *full* workup," she said dryly.  She texted Xander on her way back to the infirmary.  She had a lot of plans for her father's exam.

Daniel and Cam both shuddered.  She was going to be torturing him for month.  They were so lucky to be able to get out of the firing range.

***

Xander looked at the woman walking his way.  "Kyra."

"Alexander."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Many of us are gathering in New York soon."

He grinned.  "I'll see if I can get off patrol for that," he said, taking her arm and walking her off.  "Why are we all meeting?"

"Sybil called and wanted a reunion."  He gave her an odd look.  "We're not sure."

"Huh."  He shrugged.  "We'll see."  She laughed and shot a vampire.  "Thank you."

"I don't like the ones I have to deal with in London."  She smirked at the blonde they were walking toward.  "She's cute."

"This is the slayer I work with."

"Hmm.  Interesting."  She smiled.  "I'm Kyra, dear."

"Buffy."  She shook her hand.  "Coming to look at Xander?"

"A few of us are getting together and no one can figure out how to look up his phone number."  She rolled her eyes.  "Some of us are a bit... technophobes."

Xander snorted.  "That's putting it mildly.  A few would rather we use mail owls instead of phones."

Buffy snorted.  "That'd take forever to get messages back and forth.  Even more than the regular mail does."

"Maybe," Kyra agreed.  "Do you need him tonight?"

"Unfortunately we have patrol and a lot of vampires to handle tonight."  She grimaced.  "You can have him in about two hours?"

"That'll work," she agreed.  She smiled at Xander.  "Let me find somewhere decent to wait."

"Two bars," he offered.  "My apartment's a wreck."

"That's fine."  She walked off, shooting another vampire.  "They are foul, dirty little roaches."

Buffy stared then at Xander.  "Family?"

"Closer to John.  Greek."

"She's pretty."

"She's vicious."  Buffy smirked.  "Not even considered."  He walked off with her.  "We've got the other two cemeteries tonight."

"Don't remind me.  One of them played football and they always want to tackle me."

"They're groping, Buffy."

"Uh-huh."  They walked off together.

***

Roque picked up Clay during his downtime on the city.  Clay had told them they were on downtime for the next six days due to injuries.  Clay had his ankle wrapped and propped up on a pillow.  "Twisted?"

"Dislocated.  It's back in."  He stared at him.  "The city still hates you."

"I know."  He grinned.  "I got recalled home to introduce you."  Clay went pale, shaking his head.  "Oh, yeah.  My mother can kick my ass so I have to follow that order."

Clay called John to let him know that and got told to say hello for him, and to wear pants.  Clay got changed into more casual clothes than his BDU's.  Nice jeans, a nice shirt.  His crutches for his foot.  Roque took him back to his home.  "Traveling that way is still really strange."

"It can be, but it's faster," Roque said with a grin.  "Xander taught me.  It came with his hereditary duties."  He looked at him.  "Bow, be polite," he said quietly.  "Don't let anyone hit on you.  If anyone says something about you being white, sneer back."  Clay nodded once.  "Don't drink the beer.  It's stronger than Valhalla's and it'll knock you out after a pint."  He opened the door and walked in with Clay slightly behind him, as was proper.  "Announce me to my mother," he ordered the guards.

They stared then at Clay, then back at Roque.  "She is in the gardens."

"Bull shit.  She's meeting my spouse for the first time.  She's big on protocol, she's in her throne room."  They nodded and opened the doors for them and announced him.

"Roque and his new husband," they called.

Roque smiled at the squeal.  "Good day, Lady Aphrodite."  She beamed at him.  He walked Clay in.  "He's on downtime due to his ankle, Mother.  May I present Franklin Clay, my consort."

She came down off her throne, a regal, tall black woman with her hair braided and intricately bound on top of her head using strips of gold and colored cloths.  She looked Clay over.  "My boy has told me much about you when he served with you, Franklin.  I'm glad he could find happiness with you."

"I love the dork, ma'am," he said, bowing to her.  "Even when I'm pissed that he's being an asshole."

She laughed.  "Often, yes."  She gave him a careful hug.  Then her son.  "Come, we'll go to the garden.  Aphrodite, join us?"

"I'll be back tomorrow.  You need to get to know your son-in-law."  She winked at Roque.  "We're all still looking for Alexander's mate."

"I know it's in the prophecy but I don't think he'd do that."

She gaped.  "What?"

He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets.  "Sybill called a get-together the other night.  Kyra and the others thought it was Malan.  From Thai's courts?"  She nodded she remembered her.  "It suited the full requirements of being his mate but they hated each other and Xander has always warped prophecies."

"That's a good point."  She went to look that idea over.

His mother looked at him.  "In many ways I'm glad you didn't take Alexander, even if he would be a credit to our people, Roque.  He was always so intense."

"Whenever he was here, my sister kept trying to steal him."  She laughed and nodded, leading them to her private sitting garden.  Clay gasped as he looked around.  Roque grinned.  "She's a fertility goddess."

"This is amazing.  I know some of the city's botanists would kill just to get a few clippings."  He sat down where she pointed, getting comfortable on the soft cushion.  Roque sat beside him and poured them a weak tea blend that was refreshing and cool.

"How did you two finally get together?"

"Xander," Roque said dryly.  "He kidnaped me, locked me in a sex sling, and then got Clay there to 'talk' out our problems.  We ended up together and I realized it."  He sipped his tea.

She beamed at them.  "That's wonderful."

"I've made sure he's not going to get pregnant while he's in the military, Mother.  They'd take him to use as an experiment.  Since he's helping John on Atlantis *there*, it'll be a long time."

"Of course.  You shouldn't have children before you're fully settled into the same house for years."  She stroked over Clay's cheek.  "Very fine bone structure.  My son has always had an eye for beauty."  She patted Roque on the cheek and poured them more tea, asking Clay about his family and childhood.  They had much to catch up on and him being a yellow fur was a great thing.  It would mean her son wouldn't be left alone.

***

Aphrodite showed up in the Magic Box, staring at Xander.  "How did you manage to warp Ragnarok?"

He shrugged, leaning on the counter.  "Being my charming self?" he guessed with a grin.  "Why?"

"It said that your true mate would be attacked and you'd go off and kill a bunch of warriors for it."  He nodded he knew that.  "The mate they were talking about was Malan."

"We couldn't stand each other.  Beyond that, she wasn't my mate.  She wasn't marked."  She gaped.  "It was your own seer that said my true mate would wear my family's mark in the form of a shield birthmark.  She didn't have one.  I checked more than once, Lady Aphrodite."

"I know.  That's the only time you two got along."  She moved closer.  "That warps that prophecy."

"Only part of it.  Some of it is still in effect.  Most of the minor details aren't.  A few of the planned deaths won't happen.  I checked."  She smiled at him.  "I even told Frigg that and she snorted, said I was a stupid boy."

"No, I told Freya and she threw an unholy fit that Frigg had discounted you."

Xander grinned.  "I'm a seer myself now."  She cooed, patting his cheek.  "Still kinda hurts," he said, ducking her petting.  She hugged him.  He hugged back because she gave great hugs.  He grinned at her.  "Until then I'll date, play the field, all that.  I nearly married Anya and contemplated giving her my apple but Freya was involved."

"I heard, dear.  Oh, did I hear.  Strife sent up a moaning fit that made everyone hide, even in their weakened state."  He grinned.  "You're a good boy.  That garden?"

"John said it grows well and the transplanted tree branch is growing well."

"Excellent."  She stroked his cheek.  "You should use my oil."

"I don't have a reason to use that special oil," he teased with a grin.  "I've been flirting and dating a female doctor."  She gave him an odd look.  "One who does know.  She works on the main project that John's split from."

"Huh," she said, nodding.  "Interesting.  Does your mother know?"

"I told her if she ruined it I'd be dumping salt in her river."

"Okay, I get that."  She pinched his good cheek.  "So... is she nice?"

He grinned.  "When she wants to be."

"Even better."  She winked.  "Have you met all the other immortals?"

"Yeah, all those functions?  I've met everyone.  Plus the occasional get-togethers."

"Good point."  She patted him again and left.  She had to find Xander someone worthy of him.  A doctor was a great start since she probably wasn't evil.  Which was a nice change for Xander.  She went to find Thor, finding him working out.  She grimaced.  "Eww, sweatier than Heph."  He put down the weight to stare at her.  She grinned.  "Malan was Xander's listed mate in the prophecy."

He tipped his head to the side.  "That can't be.  They loathed each other, Lady Aphrodite."

"Which somehow warped the prophecy."

Thor considered it.  "I have heard that my nephew does much of that these days."

"And he's a seer himself now, not what the prophecy stated.  Freya thinks almost all of the minor parts have changed, and so does Xander."

"I will listen for someone to tell me the updated version," he assured her.  She smiled and pinched him on the cheek.  "Must you?" he sighed.

"I must."  She beamed at him.  "Do you like the woman he's dating?"

"He has not brought her to meet me.  I hear she's a doctor and helped when he was injured.  He treats her like she is fragile but he said her father hates him."

"Hmm."  She patted him again.  "All right then we'll wait to meet her."  She smiled.  "If not, got any ideas on who to set him up with?"

"No.  Not in the least.  Though it is nice he made sure Roque found happiness."

"It is," she agreed.  "I hear his pookie is much like him."

"On the same team.  Xander met them when Roque asked him to save them because he was in a bad position."

"Hmm.  Interesting.  I heard the consummation was really hot."  She beamed at him.  "Speaking of dating....."

"I have one I like and she does know of me," he said firmly.  "I do not need help."

"Fine.  Spoil my helpful times."

"Alexander talked many of the younger, single, bored warriors into helping John's project."

"I might help there."

"They're taking out the rest of the Supposed Ones.  They've killed many of them."  She beamed and kissed him.  "And Alexander's girlfriend is one of their doctors."

"Wonderful.  Thank you, Thor baby."  She disappeared.

He let out a sigh of relief.  His girlfriend was staring at him from the door.  "That was Lady Aphrodite."  She just nodded at that and went to rest her headache.  Thor went back to working out.  He had to be stronger so his nephew didn't show him up any longer.

Aphrodite appeared to where John was, which was back on the planet thankfully.  She kissed him on the temple.  He smiled at her.  "Lady Aphrodite, is there something I can help you with?"

"Bit of news."  He nodded, pulling out a chair for her.  She sat delicately.  "The true mate foretold for Xander is gone.  It was Malan."

"She wouldn't have let him be her mate."

"No, it warped the prophecy somehow."

"Well, Xander's known for it," he said dryly.  She swatted him on the arm, getting a grin back.  "It changed it?"

"A lot.  We're not sure the total depth of the changes but most of the minor things are changed and Xander's happy dating?"

"As far as I know.  I haven't sat down and talked to him about it."  She smiled.  "I know the woman he's courting and she is very good.  A good soul."

"Excellent.  Xander had bad taste in the past."  She winked at him.  "What about you?"

"What about me?  Mom's trying really hard and nearly lost me all respect among my men, Lady Aphrodite."

"Uh-huh.  We'll figure it out, John.  We miss having little tousled haired scamps running around Olympus getting into everything, asking questions, and talking Cupid into flying piggyback rides."

"Not this decade you're not getting any," he said dryly.

She laughed.  "I'm sure, dear.  Oh, Ares just called and said to send one his way later.  He wanted to know something about a tablet you guys found that relates to a war he's looking at."  She rolled her eyes.  "I think he's grumpy.  No one's screwing him recently."  She kissed him again then disappeared.

John pushed back in the chair and grinned.  "Cupid gave some of the best piggy back rides."

"I was told that you were mostly normal," General Landry said.  "Your half-brother said so."

John nodded.  "I am.  I don't have any special gifts.  I was partially raised by my father.  My mother let me visit them whenever anyone wanted me to, General.  I spent quite a few summers there because it's cooler than it was in India.  I played a lot among the grape fields and all that."

"Interesting.  Your father?"

He grinned.  "Not all that important."  He knew what Xander had told them, he had confessed to doing it.  "A guard of theirs in one of the healing temples."

"That's fine I suppose.  Why did she want you to know about Xander's mate?"

"It was part of the Ragnarok prophecy, a minor part that most people don't see because it's in the long section that everyone cuts out because it's all about the death count.  Supposedly, his true mate would be attacked in their home and Xander was going to berserk and kill a whole bunch of the warriors for it."  General Landry nodded once at that.  "But the prophesy was warped long before then because the mate that was written into it, they got on like alligators and pigeons.

"She tried to kill him anytime she saw him outside of when he was screwing her.  We have no idea why but from the time they were introduced she kept trying to kill him.  That would change the prophecy, which Xander's an expert at doing, and therefore the end battle in Valhalla, which I'm not written into but if it's changed I'd probably be there with Roque to help him calm down."

"So no attack on his family home?"

"Probably not.  Xander's still dating but he's not been totally certain.  Freya interfered when he was dating Anya but I'm told Odin broke that.  His new one is all of his own free will, and much nicer in taste and temperament than the last few who were deadly.  So he's seeing where it'll go on its own.  Without any love god or goddess prompting."

"That's wise of him," Daniel agreed.  "She'd probably hate a fated thing."

"We all hate fated things and the love gods getting involved usually makes things weird," John said with a grin.  "That's why I nearly ended up married in Bermuda once."

"Did one step in?" General Landry asked.

"No, a bitch named Aisha stepped in and killed her, trying to frame me for it.  Xander finally killed her when I couldn't.  She's the one that got Colonel Clay's team into things."  Landry shuddered.  Apparently he had heard.  "So she's no longer a threat."

"Wonderful," Daniel said.  "I heard that whole story from Jensen."  John grinned at him.  "Where is Clay?"

"Roque got ordered home to visit his mother and Clay's limping so he borrowed him for a few days to cover his backside.  He'd be in his room getting bored without it."

"What happened to him?" the general asked.

"Dislocated ankle during a bad rescue.  Cougar got a minor gunshot wound to the arm.  Pooch got one to his lower calf.  Jensen got two and he's still in the infirmary chatting with the nurses.  Since Doctor Biro gave them a week off to heal I let Roque steal him.  His mother can nag when she's in the mood."

"So could mine," Landry admitted, tapping his pen a few times.  "He'll have to go back on the ship."

"No, sir, Xander was able to teach Roque how to shadow shift.  That's how he got him from Atlantis and they can get him back up there."

"Good."  He looked at him.  "Doctor Keller has put forth charges against that team saying that they won't let her examine them?"

"That's because she's treating them like a science experiment.  I'm not letting her do mine either, General.  She's good for everyone but them, but I can't trust her not to do something stupid because they had the misfortune of being bitten by a Pegasus werewolf."

"I can understand that.  Do you want a different doctor?"

"Keller does good most of the time.  As long as they have another doctor they can go to they've said it's fine.  I'm not sure what would happen if they had to have real surgery and she would be the only one doing it.  Then again I've asked for some extra doctors before."

"You have and we're sending you one of Doctor Lam's staff this time," he assured him.  "He is a surgeon and will not treat them like lab rats.  As I found out, he knows Xander too.  He was sharing news of Xander's past lives."

"Peter Jennings?" John asked, looking confused.  Daniel smiled and nodded.  "When did he join?  The last I knew he was being a baby doctor in Philly."

"He's still a fully qualified surgeon and won't blink at anything strange," the general assured him.

"He's been a great doctor for generations, General, I'd welcome the man to the city.  He can manage it when Xander's really sick so he can handle whining Marines."

"Good."  He smiled.  "About the new weapons?"

"Sir, Xander did tell you he confiscated some and sent them to us?"

"No, he hadn't."  John got into that file to hand it over.  "Huh.  Where?"

"Roque found them; he was taking out the terrorist cell by himself.  He asked Xander if they needed anything in Sunnydale for an upcoming apocalypse and Xander kindly gave them to us."  John beamed.  "It's a very thoughtful present."

"Wonderful," General Landry agreed.  "Less we have to send, which the IOA doesn't want to do."

"Sir, for all I care, I can put 'nummy life source' t-shirts on the IOA and send them against the wraith," John said with a smirk.  Landry shuddered.  "They seem to cause more trouble than they're worth so I'd let them gladly go that way."

"No, I don't think we should," he ordered.

"I've had that same thought about them and replicators," Daniel said with a grin for John.

"Xander knows some vampires who'd love them," he countered.

"No, not a good idea," the general said firmly.  "At all."  They shrugged.  One of the warriors knocked and leaned in, saying something to Daniel.  Daniel got up and left.  "Why can't he speak English?" he muttered.

John shrugged.  "It's not his native language, General.  Though he just said that Teal'c got injured sparring with some newbies.  One fell on him accidentally and may have broken his leg."

"You speak Norse?"

"Yes.  Xander taught me."

"Interesting.  I'm assuming you speak Greek?"

"Ancient, not modern."

"I suppose that's reasonable with your parents.  Is that in your file?"

"No, sir, because I'm fairly rusty.  They tend to rant in English around me anymore."

"Any others?"

"I learned a few phrases in Chinese once upon a time but again, long ago.  We were greeting some of their protectors during a banquet the higher ups were throwing."

"All right.  Go rest."  John saluted and left.  General Landry went to talk to Doctor Lam.  Maybe there was a reason to break them up, but found Daniel had already told her about that intended mate thing, and she was cooing that the first one had died.  So maybe no hope there.  He didn't want Harris as a son-in-law.  He really didn't.

***

Roque brought Clay back, helping him into a free seat in Pooch's room.  "Better?"

"I'm fine," he complained.  Roque smirked.  "If your mother was free I'd hit on her."

"I know.  That's the great thing."  He smirked at the others.  "By the way, the new weapons were because I finally got Perkins out of Yemen."  He disappeared.

"Ice pack?" Jensen asked, holding up his.  Clay took it to put on his ankle.  "I didn't mean for there."

"Not needed," Clay shot back with an evil smirk.

"What's his mother like?" Pooch asked.

"You know the regal old line ladies from Spain and Italy?  The matriarchs with that bearing that you realize means that they're royal *somewhere*?"  They all nodded.  "Just like that only she cracks dirty jokes and is flirting with a set of twenty-year-old twins.  I swear the woman walks around wearing a sarong most of the time and bare feet, but her hair is more elaborate than any geisha's.   She's a damn good cook too.  She's really like Jolene.  The only problem we had was that she wants grandkids some century soon and he had to remind her that we're presently in separate galaxies."

"Who's his mom?" Jensen asked, looking confused.

"A major fertility goddess."

"Do you think they have some sort of hierarchical rank of 'my parent's more important'?" Pooch asked.

"Yes.  It's ritualized, it's based on who's fighting who and who's got an alliance at the moment, and if you're between two pantheons you've got it in both," Jensen told him.  "The royalty rankings have nothing on these.  The last time they had one of those banquets where everyone was supposed to show up, the Heralds took six days announcing everyone's titles and that's with six pantheons refusing to show up.  Some of their kids did and earned a lot of hell from what the history teacher told me.  She was there and I did a report on it in school."  He grinned.  They all shook their heads.  John showed up a few minutes later.  "That last banquet, how long did it take them to list all of Xander's titles?"

"Two hours.  Every time he helps another pantheon they piss off Odin by rewarding him.  Odin doesn't like Xander because of his father, so the others all adore Xander.  He's the best ambassador Valhalla has.  He has titles in, I think, thirteen other pantheons."  Clay moaned.  "Roque has them in three others.  Including one in Valhalla.  Odin still thinks it was him that saved that village and not Xander."  He flopped down.  "How did it go?"

"I'd hit on that woman if it wasn't for him."

John grinned.  "His mother's kick ass.  She's even told my mother to calm down."  That got a grin from Jensen.  "Landry asked, I told him you were covering Roque's back."  Clay nodded.  "He's still trying to keep his daughter from dating Xander."

"Xander deserves a good woman."

"He doesn't disagree, he just doesn't want it to be his daughter."  They all grinned at him.  "The reason I showed up is to tell you the new doc is safe.  He's one of us.  He's from a Celtic family.  He's been a doctor since they stopped teaching healers by the apprentice method.  Usually a baby doc and surgeon."  They all grinned.  "He's a smartass too.  If we still had Carson they'd get on like brothers and Peter would pick on him so badly for being Scottish and not a Celt."  He grinned.  "So you can trust him."  They all nodded.  "Though he'll swat if you whine."

"That's fine.  I'm sure he's used to whining sick people," Pooch said, looking at Jensen.

"I got bored.  They wouldn't even let me have a laptop."

"You're supposed to be resting," John said, but he was smirking evilly at Jensen.  "They do the same thing to Rodney."  He stood up.  "The new personnel are green as grass.  Right out of SG Basic, guys."  Clay whimpered.  "Most are under five years in.  There's a few idealistic ones.  Yeah, I'm going to have to make you ride herd during something simple but not until you're all better.  They've got six weeks of Atlantis bootcamp.  And don't you dare pull what Team 7 did last time and get shot right before they're due out.  Lorne sent them out together anyway."  He gave them another evil smirk.  "Half of them are women too."  Pooch moaned and Cougar started to pray.  "Four of the seventeen new women are like me though."

"Experienced?" Clay asked hopefully.

"Two.  Both botanists."

"Crap."

"Landry's choice, guys, and I'm giving the same lecture to Evan Lorne's crew in a few minutes.  Mitchell said he warned them and half the returned personnel did too.  So maybe they'll make it.  Not real sure."  They sighed but nodded, Cougar saying another prayer.  John left them to team bond or whatever they did on their downtime.

"Damn it, that's a ticklish spot, don't oil there," Jensen complained a minute later.  John snickered.  Only that team.

***

Xander was with Carolyn Lam when she got attacked.  Which was a good thing because he doubted she could've handled the clearly military trained people.  He, however, could and did.  She got a bit bruised fighting one off but Xander snapped his neck and moved on.  It was good to kick ass for real again.  By the time the help her emergency button had summoned got there, most of the guys were groaning and the two left standing tried to run.  Xander looked at her.  "Are you all right?" he asked quietly, moving closer.  She blinked at him.  "Carolyn, do you need a medic?"

"No, I'm okay," she said quietly.  He ran his hands down her arms and checked the new bruise on her cheek.  "I'm fine, Xander."

He kissed the booboo with a smile.  "I'm glad."  She hugged him.  That's when the General got there.

"Sir," one said.  "Doctor Lam is being fussed over.  Whoever he is left most of them alive for us to question.  Three of my men chased the ones that tried to run."

"Harris," Landry complained.  "Why were they attacking you?"

"They weren't."  He looked at him.  "They went right for her, General.  None of them expected me to do anything but whimper apparently.  They all seemed real shocked when I went into battle mode on 'em."

"He was very impressive," she said, clinging to Xander's arm.  He got free and put it around her shoulders, pulling her against his side.  She shivered.  "I know it's shock."

"It's reaction," he corrected.  "It's normal and you should feel a bit chilled and shaky."  She nodded.  He walked her to the jeep and stared at one of the guys.  He got out of the way.  He settled her into the seat, did her seatbelt on her, and then tucked his jacket around her.  "Let me see what they wanted," he said quietly, smiling at her.  He walked over to one who was groaning, kicking him over.  "Fucking speak now or forever hold your peace, dude."

"Who're you!" he demanded.

"Harris, from Sunnydale's team."  He stared at him.  The man started to babble 'no' over and over.  "Shut up!" he snapped.  The soldiers all flinched.  So did the general.  "What the fuck were you doing attacking a doctor?  I want a simple, concise answer.  If I do not get one, I'm summoning something to *play* with you for me."

The man swallowed, looking at the general.  "He's not mine, I can't stop him from torturing you," the general admitted.  But his daughter wouldn't like that so it was something he'd let him do.

"I'd never torture someone who wasn't doing something to warrant it," Xander assured him dryly without looking away from the bad guy.  "The last time I did, the idiot had six kids hostage and hidden.  You'd better believe he told me what I wanted to know about where they were and who had ordered them taken."  The guy on the ground stared at him.  Xander summoned his axe, letting it rest against his leg.  The guy was crying.  "Simple, concise sentences, douchebag.  Why attack the pretty, young doctor?"

"She has information we want on someone!" he shouted.  He was trying to move away but Xander shook his head so he quit.  "We weren't going to hurt her but you jumped in.  You're a victim, you're not supposed to fight back."

Xander snorted.  "I've been a warrior longer than this country has had people," he said dryly.  "There's no *victim* in me."  The man gaped.  Xander stared back.  "Now."  His axe glowed.  "What, exactly, were you supposed to ask her about?"  He picked up his glowing axe, which was just an illusion.  The man babbled all sorts of information.

"I don't know any of that.  That's Doctor Keller.  She's not around right now," she said dryly.

Xander smiled.  "Are you ever going to do this again?"  The guy shook his head quickly.  "And you'll report that so she doesn't have to be paranoid?  I can find her a beautiful guard dog that would make sure nothing and no one touched her against her will ever again."

"No!  No!  We'll never come near her again!" he shouted, trying to get away again.  "Don't chop me into pieces."

Xander sneered.  "You're not worthy of my axe turning you into kindling.  Feel *real* damn lucky."  The guy nodded and started to cry.  He put his axe on his back and walked back to her.  "If you want, I know someone who's raising some very good guard puppies."

She smiled, patting his cheek.  "They'd hate being in the infirmary all day."

"As long as they got walked now and then they'd be perfectly happy to be adored."

"That's all right, Xander."  He kissed her gently then stepped back with a shy grin.  "Thank you for saving me."

"Scum like that shouldn't even think about touching a woman against her will.  You deserve a real gentleman to make you happy and content."

She smiled.  "Sometimes I like naughty."

He winked his good eye.  "That's good to know."  She giggled.  "I'll call later this week?"  She nodded and he disappeared.

She got comfortable in her seat, looking at the staring soldiers.  "He's a very sweet, nice guy."

They all nodded.  "Mushy too," the one guarding her agreed.  "I said about the same thing when I was wooing my wife, Doc."

"I don't think we're close to that level yet.  We're just dating."  He grinned at her.  She snuggled inside his jacket.  The breeze was a bit cool and it was picking up.  "General, which agency are they from?"

"I don't know yet."  He looked at that one.  "I can ask him to ask you."

"Area 51," he whimpered.  Landry smirked.  "Please don't feed us to a wraith?"

Roque showed up, looking amused.  "Did someone beg to be fed to something evil?"  That guy shrieked and tried to move.  "Freeze," he snarled.

"Roque," Doctor Lam complained.  "Xander already scared him."

He smiled.  "Good.  Boy should be considered scary by this sort, but the VP asked that I handle that little *qualm* someone has about things that go on in your project.  I had a watch on you guys in case one of you was pounced."

She smiled.  "Xander thumped them for me."

"Xander's good at it," he assured her.  "That's why so many villages are still around."  He winked.  "Let me talk to these assholes and I'll drop them in your brig, General."  He gathered the ones that didn't need medical attention and brought them to where the Vice President wanted to know what was going on.  He didn't really like that guy but it was a job.  And he could always kill him later.  Or have Xander talk to whichever demon he owed so it'd be called in.

General Landry looked at his only daughter and sighed mentally.  "Let's get back to base, people.  I want them in the brig ASAP."  They nodded and gathered them to take back.  The ones tracking the two runners called in and got picked up.  He babied his daughter all the way back to base but she was all right.  He was going to beat Harris for being so evil in front of her.  Though it was a bad sign she hadn't been scared of him.

***

Roque snatched John from a briefing with a wave at the guys.  "Bad shit's going down and they want to own him.  I'll bring him back in a day or so, as long as it's not an emergency, guys."

"No, it's not," Evan Lorne said to the blank spot.  "What now?"  The others all shrugged.  He looked at Clay, who shrugged a second time.  So there was no telling.

Roque grabbed Xander on his way back to the Mountain.  He dropped them.  "Stay," he ordered.  Then he went to grab the other three involved, brining them back.  General Landry was throwing a fit about the people being brought to his office.  "So," he said when he reappeared with both O'Neills and Daniel Jackson.  "I was hired by the VP to solve an issue in my usual charming way that related back to your program."

"Then why am I here?" Xander asked.

"Because earlier today he was pumping me for information on any kids you might have, bright boy."

"No, I don't have any.  And now I have DNA warping.  By the way, Mom doesn't know about yours, John."

"Thanks, Xander.  Roque?"

"I had no idea the weenie in charge was such an idiot," he admitted.  He sat Daniel down.  "That attack to get that pretty doctor Xander's seeing?  They wanted to pump her for more than what they said.  He admitted that they had wanted to know more than what they had admitted to.  Considering I questioned them first and that didn't come out then....."

"So they wanted to ask Doctor Lam questions about Sheppard's DNA and other things," the general said.

The older Jack O'Neill, not the clone, gaped at him then at Xander.  "They attacked us when we were coming out of dinner the other night."  He called her.  "She deserves to hear."

"I'd like to cushion her," Landry ordered.

Xander stared at her.  "Then how can she protect herself?  She's not going to be able to stay on base all the time.  No one can live like that if they're not moles."

"Good point," O'Neill agreed.  "And I agree," he said, staring at Landry.  "Even though she's your daughter."  She walked in and shut the door.  "Doctor Lam."

"Boys.  Generals.  Roque.  New information about that attack?"

"The higher ups that hired me to find out and fix the inner problems between your group and others were behind it.  They wanted more than they said.  That same higher up also asked me pointed questions about any children Xander might have."  She grimaced but nodded.  "About Sheppard's DNA, if you had ever found a difference between the two clones, and if we could find a way to make ascension happen for anyone by another means."

She considered it.  "I can answer a few of those."

"There's different sorts of ascended," Xander said quietly.  Daniel looked at him.  "We...lost Cordelia recently.  She's ascended now to be the Messengers for the Powers That Be, who're over slayers.  They're the ones in control of that whole game and chess board.  Her visions ended up harming her brain too much and it was the only way she could be saved."  Roque stared at him.  "Mine's not the same."  That got a nod.  "But... that's not the same sort of ascended that Jackson was.  Totally different energy signature.  That would also explain why I sent three NID people into the infested lake, right?" he asked Roque.

"Yes.  They hated that the lake had little biting vampire fish."  Xander smirked.  "Why were they after you?"

"They wanted to harness what makes Buffy so special.  They've wanted it since the Initiative tested her."  That got a nod from Doctor Lam.  "I found them stalking her, not me.  I haven't seen any stalking me.  I've seen one stalking Tara but that was after she had to magic a demon up a tree to protect herself."

"So this is the Initiative again," the younger O'Neill said.

"No," Roque said.  "They didn't have official permission from the president.  The VP did."  The clone shuddered.  "And he's real certain you're not a real person, kid."  The clone nodded at that.  "The same as he's real certain he wants Xander's blood to test and any kids he might be able to create and turn into better soldiers to take John's place on the city so they're back in control."  He looked at the two Generals, Landry first.  "You two are in their way but you especially, O'Neill.  Before I ...talked to him he asked me how best to plant a car bomb in a protected lot without hiring an expert."

"Geeze," Jack muttered.  "So they were going to kill me, capture the younger me, capture Xander's whole team, impregnate Lam, and then treat Daniel like a lab rat with the others."  Roque nodded.  "Are they alive?"

"Nope."  He smirked.  "The VP is barely.  He ....got attacked by a demon."  Xander beamed at him.  "I told Jimmy you'd pay him back."

"He owed me twenty kittens anyway."  He shrugged.  "That'll cancel that debt nicely."  He saw Carolyn's look at him.  "Jimmy is a demon that can implant memories.  So instead of Roque beating him for information, he got the injuries from a demon attack.  And they already know demons are going to attack them over the Initiative thing.  There's been three we've stopped from going out there to get revenge for what happened to their families.  I'm damn glad we stopped that NSA/NID joint program."  He got into Landry's system and typed in a code, getting the file sent to him from Fury, who said he already knew why they were having a meeting and he was trying hard to keep them away from his people.  "Fury said they've made moves on the Avengers."  He let O'Neill have the keyboard.  "Their full files that we gave to Fury.  And I did make sure he got a *full* copy even though Willow didn't like it."

Roque smirked.  "I liberated one."  He held up the keydrive, letting Daniel take it to run on a separate system.  "Also, the NID people are *rabid*, Xander.  You're in deep.  Your whole team."

"My whole team is used to being in deep over our heads but I'm starting to get a funny feeling about Buffy."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I'm still infertile thanks to the mermaid taint that never got cleared.  Even if they had my kids there's no guarantee that they'd be warriors or immortal.  Hell, my father's a chaos god and my mother's a river goddess.  Warrior doesn't really come into that anywhere on either side.  Her parents were a fertility goddess and Grandfather was an ethereal entity.  Odin's not really a warrior either.  So even if they could manage a kid, there's no way they'd be warriors.  From what I heard, Odin had a good, long laugh that Loki's son turned out to be a guardian."

Carolyn patted his arm.  "Maybe some day you'll fix that taint?"

He kissed her on the cheek with a smile.  "As soon as I'm married and I'm sure that whoever wants kids, definitely.  Until then, not a chance."  She laughed and nodded she understood.

Roque grinned.  "Good.  In case you break up with her or someone tries something, that'll mean that it can't happen accidentally."  Xander's face lit up and he left suddenly.  "I know that's an unholy look.  The last time he had an idea that managed to not sink Venice but ruined a royal family."  He looked at John.

"Mine may or may not pass onto a child but I'm not infertile," he admitted.  "Is Xander an ATA?"

"Yes, very minimally," Carolyn told him.  "So if that passed on...."

"If that passed on, it'd be my heir," John said bluntly.  "Until they could get one of mine or O'Neill's."  He looked at the clone.  "Which means they can use you for both purposes."

"Charming," he said grimly.  "Just what I always wanted to be."

"With the state of medicine and DNA work, they could make little O'Neill/Sheppard or O'Neill/Harris kids," Roque pointed out.  All three shuddered.  "Which would probably gift the child with Xander's innate inheritance and their skills."

"With some tampering they could make sure it was an ATA carrier and what they needed," she agreed.  She was grimacing.  "How many more are left in this plan, Roque?"

"I only got the top guy and no one knows I got him except a guard that tried to interrupt and when I told him why he said he didn't hear a thing as he walked off humming."

"So we have two agencies and people in a third," John Sheppard said.  O'Neill nodded, looking at him.  "NID, Area 51, and the NSA has some.  Which one first?"

"NID," O'Neill said.  "Maybourne has got to go."

"Area 51?" the younger O'Neill asked.

"They're the ones that attacked me the other night," Carolyn told him.

Xander came back.  "We've already got an issue."  He called someone from the desk phone, putting it on speaker.  "Fury, I need you and Stark on a conference call to talk."

"Why?" the other end said, sounding disgruntled.  "He's being an asshole."

"Because the current NID plan somehow got Buffy knocked up and the last person she slept with was Stark."

"I saw you get into that file....  They are?" he demanded.

"Yeah."

"Oh hell no!" Fury shouted.

"My feeling too.  She'll be due in the middle of apocalypse season, Fury.  NID and Area 51 all have plans and someone wanted to try to do the Initiative thing again.  They were NSA funded before so....."

"Figures," he muttered.  "STARK!" he bellowed, making General Landry wince on their end.

"I had a ...talk with the VP earlier but a demon attacked him," Roque said.

"I want to know everything you do, Roque, today."

"Agreed.  After this."

"Fine."  That end got muffled while he said something.  Someone started to rant.

"Buffy's on the pill," Xander told the phone, staring at it.  He leaned his hands on the desk to get closer.  "She's been on the pill for *years*, Stark.  I don't figure you're that potent."

"I'm snipped!" Stark complained.

"And the NID was following her the other day," Xander said.  "I threw them into our lake that's infested with nibbling fish."

"Ow," Stark said then sighed.  "Does she know?"

"I just had her do a test in her mom's room so she's scaring nurses."

"That's bad," Stark decided.  "Why the meeting?"  Roque went over everything he had told them.  "Wonderful," he sneered.  "I'm so going to cancel my work with those three groups.  You guys are sacred to me but not them.  That means no new lab equipment too."  They all winced when something slammed on that end.

"He's going to rant at Pepper," Fury said.  "All right, what are we doing first?"

"NSA, we need to weed them out, see who's involved now," Roque said.  "If not, we can ignore them outside of keeping them off our backs."

"Maybourne and Kinsey have got to go," Jack ordered.  "Today."

"I can do that," Xander and Roque both said.

"I'm better at quiet eliminations, kid," Roque said roughly, staring at him.  He glanced at the doctor when Xander stared back.

Xander smiled.  "Yes, but I can chaos their cars into going over a cliff without any help or anything noticeable."

"They don't deserve nice," Fury said.  "Maybourne's filed a request with the president to get Summers, you, and Maclay taken in for observation.  He just sent me a memo asking me to pick you up."

"I can sink another building," Xander offered.  "DAD!" he bellowed.  Loki showed up looking amused.  "Your former lover wants you to have grandkids so they can torture, test, and use them.  Are you in on that plot?"

"No.  I'd never want that for my grandchildren or my children."  He stared at him.  "You do think horrible things about me, son."

Roque coughed.  "Your lover, he's gone."

"I heard.  You're welcome for all his other guards not knowing a thing, Roque."  Roque smirked at him for that.  He looked at his son.

"The president just agreed me, Buffy, and Tara can be taken into custody."

"You'd destroy them."

"Buffy's already gotten knocked up, probably by them since there's no way it was natural."

"No, that's not a good thing."

"Tara's beloved of John's aunt Hestia."  He smirked.

"That's even worse.  Go get them to safety, son."  Xander went to do that.  He looked at Roque.  "Want his help to hunt them down?"

"No, I might take my team back for a week or so but otherwise I can probably handle it without Xander."

"I know he's been in wars, Roque.  Don't do it because we're seeing each other," she said quietly.  "I've seen plenty of soldiers."

He grinned.  "I like you," he decided.  "Even if you two don't make it you're safe from me, Lam."  He looked at Loki again.  "It's worse than bad.  How far did you want your son to go?"

"Nowhere.  Though I know it's a pipedream."

"Did you hear that he warped Ragnarok?" John said with a smirk.  Loki gave him a confused look.  "His intended mate by that was Malan."

"But..."  He considered it.  "Is..."  He snapped his mouth shut.  "Totally invalidated?"

"Not the main six battles," Roque told him.

"Excellent.  I'll look forward to it."  Xander reappeared looking sweaty.  "Problems?"

"They set the shop on fire with Tara knocked out inside.  Apparently they didn't like her fighting back.   She's fine though.  She's in Fury's infirmary with Joyce and Buffy.  I got Dawn up there too.  And they're in the fire."  He looked at Roque.  "All NSA."  He handed over the ID's he had taken.

Roque looked then nodded.  "I've seen a few on our team's orders in the past."  He put them on the desk.

"I want them," Fury said.

"Sure," Roque agreed.  "In a few."  He looked at O'Neill.  "You're the general.  Xander and I are soldiers.  We can cause some pretty hell and havoc between us but if you want us to work toward a plan, let us know now."

"Fury?"

"Maybourne is shut down," he reported.  "Taken into custody.  The bag team heading for LA was stopped by Stark's people and Thor, who is in a snit of epic proportions.  And... the president is really not happy that I'm disobeying orders."

"You can tell him I'm older than this damn country and I will destroy *everything* if I have to.  I'll send the ones I like to my big brother to guard for me."

"Son, that would take godly powers," Loki said.

Xander grinned.  "Really?"  He winked at Carolyn.  "It was a good dinner.  Picnic on Atlantis later?"

She swatted him.  "Be serious, Xander.  Beyond that, if I left the infirmary here, they'd wreck it on me."

"It would be safer," John told her.

"They still need my skills here."

"There's no travel going right now," Landry told her.  "At all.  You're going to Atlantis, Carolyn.  I want you safe.  When Sheppard goes back, so do you."  She huffed but nodded.

"Small problem, we've been tracking an Ori ship for months heading this way," Daniel told him.

"I know that.  We need to prepare for that battle anyway.  The gate teams are to go to standby today and prepare for a battle."  Daniel nodded, passing that out to Cam Mitchell, the second-in-command for the base.  Jack O'Neill nodded at that plan.  "Harris, Roque, you have a focus.  For right now, take out subtly, question, gather information."

"Yes, sir," Xander said.  "Let me get them home.  Roque?"

"I can do that, kiddo."

"I'm older than you.  Quit that."

"You look younger," he said smugly.

"Bite me."

"You are like Clay's son," he said dryly.  Carolyn snickered, shaking her head.  "He is!"

"A lot," John agreed.  "MOM!"  She appeared, looking amused.  "There's people who want to torture us, breed us, and then use the kids.  Can I count on some support?"

"Baby, they're so dead," she said dryly.  "Water is not just a nurturing element after all."  She looked at Loki.  "Are you protecting our son?"

"Yes, if he'll let me."

"You can follow and be amazed," Xander quipped.

"Dear, let your father do some of the heroic stupid stuff," she ordered.  He shrugged.  "Good boy."  She kissed him on the cheek.  Then John.  "You, be safe.  You can't be the warrior that Xander is."

"Mom, I'm pretty damn good at it," John said dryly.

"Yes, but he's been in more battles, dear."  She disappeared.  Xander had told her that he had protected John as well.  She went to talk to John's father.  Hera interrupted to find out what was going on too.  Not a happy Goddess day in any pantheon by the time they got done talking.

Xander looked up then at John.  "She went to your dad."

"Oooh," he said with a wince.  "He's going to blow his stack."

"Yeah, probably."  He looked at Loki.

"I'll go talk to Tyr for you."  He disappeared.  There was something he wanted to know and he couldn't find it out by standing in the same room with his son.

Xander looked at John, then at Roque.  "Call it."

"NSA," Roque said.

"NID," Xander decided.  That got a nod and they left the Area 51 people to the generals.  He smiled at Carolyn.  "I'll pop up for a picnic in a few days.  John?"

"I'll take 'em.  You've got a team in trouble," Roque reminded him.

"I have them," Fury assured him from the phone.

"Good.  Let me go bitch out someone in Sunnydale.  By the way, Fury, thanks for the new cops.  They're actually really good.  We like them a lot."  He hung up and disappeared.  The police chief was staring at the store.  Xander walked up next to him.  "NID."

The Chief looked at him.  "They said you're wanted on a federal warrant."

"Huh, that'd be amusing since they want to torture me and then breed me."  He shrugged. "I'll destroy them.  Giles is in LA driving and the rest of us are safe.  Outside of Spike.  I'll warn him and then head."  He smirked and walked off calling Giles.  "It's me.  The store's toast thanks to the fire set by NID weenies trying to revive the Initiative.  Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce are with Fury.  Yes, I'm serious, Giles.  Exactly.  So... I'd think maybe you should hide somewhere the NID can't find you, yeah.  Talk to Agent Fury, Giles."  He hung up and found Spike, knocking on the crypt door until he got up and let him in.  "NID is back."

"Bloody hell," he muttered.

"Knocked Buffy up."  Spike gaped at him, then tried to walk into the sun.  Xander pushed him back.  "We're all scattering.  They torched the store.  Wanted to dissect Tara and me."  Spike started to growl.  "Exactly.  So scatter, today."  He nodded, moving to grab some things.  Xander brought him to Willie's.  "Guys, this is an official notice.  NID is back.  They wanted to restart the Initiative mess," he announced.  The demons in there all stared at him.  "They actually knocked up Buffy and were going to burn Tara in the store earlier when she fought back against them."  A few shuddered.

"Yeah, they're in there.  As of right now, the team is calling a scatter.  They're not fully formed here.  The NID base is in Arizona and they have two other hidden bases."  A few nodded at that.  "We're scattering too.  Protect the young and innocent, people.  They've got *presidential* permission this time."  The patrons got up and paid their tabs then went to spread the news.  He looked at the bartender.  "Sorry."

"It's good to know," he assured him.  "Tell her we hope the baby's good."

"The baby's most likely a baby Ironman."  He grinned and took Spike to LA, handing him to Angel.  Angel let Spike go and was glaring at the floor.  "They call?"

"Cordelia.  She said to hide very well, Harris."

"I can hide on most any plane, Angel.  It's not an issue.  Hell, I could go home and raise an army or something."  He shrugged and left.  He felt himself being called home and went to talk to his higher ups.  He walked into the throne room in Valhalla, nodding at Odin and the ruling council.  "I'm in the middle of an emergency on earth."

"Impertinent," Odin warned.

Xander stared at him.  "It's not you they want to torture and breed, Odin."

"Good point."  He stared at him.  "Have you broken out in powers?"

Xander shrugged.  "If so, it's not because of your heritage."  He crossed his arms.  "I have people I have to protect.  Are you helping or not?"  They gaped.  "I don't have time to be polite, people.  They've already knocked up the slayer I work with.  They tried to capture the woman I'm courting the other night."  A few shuddered.  "So I don't have time to be polite, play footsie games, none of it.  Be blunt."

"Have you broken out?" Odin asked again.

Xander shrugged.  "I've never tested it.  I'm not interested in testing it.  If I have, it's from Mother's side of the heritage, not yours."

"That's good to know.  Are you certain?" Odin asked.  Xander nodded.  "Will you allow it to be tested?"

"No.  Because I don't need to die if you're wrong.  I have too many people counting on me right now.  If I have, it'll come out naturally during a true battle.  If not, then I'll do my usual job."

"That is a good point," his father said.  "But it could leak out, son."

Xander looked at him.  "If it was the chaos gifts, we'd already know, Father.  It'd have already killed a few dozen people."

"Good point," he admitted, looking at his father.  Who nodded at that.  "You let us help with them, Son."

"Roque's dealing with the NSA people.  I'm dealing with the NID people, Father.  If you want to help, go for it.  I can work around your plans and add them to my own.  But first I have to free anyone they have hostage."  That got a nod and Tyr, the God of War for this pantheon, moved closer to help him plan that.  Loki could help.  So could Thor if he wanted to.  Xander let him do what he needed to do in New York for now.  He'd call in the extended family for worse battles.  He was sure there were some coming.

***

Xander walked out of the shadows that night when he was yelled for.  He looked at Tony Stark.  "Needle insertion method?"

"Yes," he snarled.

Xander grinned.  "Want ear pets?"  Stark gave him a dirty look.  "You're growling like Ares' war dogs.  I thought I'd offer."

Tony smirked.  "Smartass."

"I try really hard, even during battle times.  Did you get all the victims?"

"Yes.  And the doctors wanted to make sure you weren't injured."  Xander opened his mouth.  "So does Dawn."

"I'd die for Dawn," he sighed.  "I'm not injured.  One tried to shoot me but I faded into the dark before it hit."  He let him see the tiny injury.  "You can tell her I'm fine, just really, really pissed off.  And there's three other labs."

"They got raided by the FBI."

"Whoo-hoo," he said flatly.  "How many did they euthanize?"

"None.  The FBI gassed them then went in.  Everyone was out.  Their projects were taken to a secure military hospital so they can't get them back.  A few of us helped hack into their systems to get all their information.  I gave Roque what he needed for his target too."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you for saving me some work, Mr. Stark."

"He's a professional, you're the old school sort of warrior, kid.  For now, be overprotective of your family.  They could use you."

Xander nodded.  "The last time I saw Buffy she screamed at me like it was my fault so I was giving her a chance to calm down."

"She beat the hell out of one of them for it."  Stark smirked.  "Pepper cheered her on and Dawn helped by giving her suggestions."

"Sounds like Dawn, yeah."  He shifted.  "How many more are there?"

"The president believes it's a really bad idea now."

"Is that because the demon he's vowed to is treating him like the cocksucker he is?"

"Possibly," Stark admitted.  He smiled.  "Go rest with the girls.  They need you."  Xander nodded, heading down to get pounced and cuddled.  Tony took a breath of fresh air.  It was nice.  Though he was taking full custody of whatever that child ended up being.  Joyce could bitch but have visitation.  He didn't want his son to learn how to battle demons until he was older.

"Oh my god, you have more power!" a female voice shouted.

Tony looked then followed.  That was strange.

Xander was staring at the woman in the hallway.  "Why aren't you in a cell?  Or dead?"

"I...."

Xander stared at her.  "Why?"

"Why is she free?  They're doing the final sentencing tomorrow," Stark asked.  He tapped his communication button.  "Chandler, it's Stark.  Why is Rosenburg wandering?"  He hung up.  Guards ran their way and Xander handed her over.  He looked at the boy, who shrugged.  "Power?" he asked quietly.

"I may have broken out in powers but I'll figure it out during a battle some day," he said with a smirk.  "It's not on Dad's side of the family."

"Ah.  Can this be used......" he let that trail off.

"To make my uncle feel pitiful?  Maybe."  He strolled off looking happier.  "There's my girls."  Tara pounced him and he cuddled her.  "Are you feeling better?"  She nodded, sniffling some.  "I know."  He settled in on her bed, which was in Buffy's room, letting Tara cuddle him.  Dawn stared from cuddling her mom across the room.  "It gets any worse and I'm taking you to John to guard for me."  They all grinned.  "NID may be totally gone.  Roque's got NSA people since he worked with them before.  I did warn Willie's about them, Buffy."  She nodded that was wise.  "I told Giles to scatter, brought Spike to Angel so he could hide easier."

"That sounds like our scatter plan, yeah," Buffy agreed.  "What about the one you're dating?"

"She saw me kicking some ass the other night when they tried to attack her.  We had no idea it was related until earlier."

"Good.  It's good she won't shy away from you."  She frowned, looking around.  "What's that noise?"

Xander listened, then shrugged.  "I don't know.  What are you hearing?"

"A buzzing noise."

Xander concentrated on the energy flows.  "Shit," he said, and concentrated really hard.

The sudden lightening of the infirmary disappearing from the flying fortress meant that the dampeners came on automatically and everything went into lockdown.  Including the force field around the prisoners so Willow couldn't attempt to break free again.

6: Old Ones Being Pissed Off

The actions of the NID cause a lot of things to change and a lot of Goddesses to get really pissed off.  The Pissed Off Goddess Tea Society is not one to screw with.

Nick Fury, head of SHIELD, felt the flying fortress's inertia dampeners come on, which meant there was a problem.  He started to bark orders as he got up and went to figure out what had happened this time.  His assistant was already doing a section-by-section check for the malfunction.  Stark was helping.  "What the hell happened!" he shouted as he walked into the control room.

"There was a wave of power heading toward Rosenburg, she was trying to block it, and then the infirmary disappeared," Stark said as he typed.

"I've already dispatched agents to find out what that power surge was," his assistant told him. "Rosenburg is in lockdown but unconscious from it.  Whoever stole the infirmary section used the emergency jettison feature but I can't find it."

"Found the power source," Tony said.  "JARVIS spotted it recharging."  He put it up onto the main screen.  "I've already told my guard Howdy to get agents there."  He looked at Fury.  "I've also told the others you've gathered in New York."

"Good!  Any idea yet on who?"

"Not yet.  It's a rented storage warehouse area.  Rented through a couple of dummy corporations," Stark said.  He passed that to Fury's assistant.  Pepper stomped in and she took that job over.  "Someone fired on us, Pepper."

"I heard."  She got into the records, doing a quick search back.  "It's government related.  This is their style of money trail."  She kept going.  "I'm running into a wall.  Roque, I need Jensen," she called.  Roque showed up with him in tow.  "Thank God.  Someone fired on us."

"John was really amazed when your whole infirmary showed up on a pier.  So amazed he broke into my time with my consort, making him squeal when he suddenly broke in on us."

Fury and Stark both gaped.  "And then Xander passed out in his arms.  Which was bad enough that even Clay jumped and started to worry."  Jensen sat down in her seat to do the searching for him.  "Are we changing altitude up?" Jensen asked as he typed.  "It feels like we are."

"We need to compensate for the lighter frame," Stark sighed, getting into that control to correct the flight plan.  Not like his suit didn't do it.  "I'm making us hover about five thousand feet above where we normally sit and heading toward the more unoccupied areas of the midwest in case we have to make an emergency landing."

Fury nodded.  "That's fine, Stark.  We can land if we have to.  As long as it's safe we can land on water or land."  He watched Jensen.  "Why call for him?" he asked Pepper.

She smiled.  "Because he's been in every government agency's servers."  Jensen glanced up with a smug grin and a nod, then got back to it.  "Plus Roque could easily steal him.  It's also the only logical place that the infirmary could be with who was in it."

"Rosenburg had accused Harris of having more power than he should," Stark told him.  "That's when we found her wandering."

"How in the hell did that happen?" Fury complained.  "We had things in there to short out her magic."

"She was a hacker and Xander used to build RC cars with Jesse," Pepper said quietly.  Fury stared at her.  "Xander was depressed on the anniversary of his death so he showed up to hug Dawn, but she was asleep.  I asked why he was down and he let it out.  He needed to talk.  He also said I'm nicer than all his sisters or cousins and I'd make a great Valkyrie."

Tony grinned at her.  "Except for the fact that they're perpetual virgins and have to serve the warriors between battles, you would be."  She swatted him.

"Aww, these people even have a cutesy name for their plot of treason."  Jensen put it up onto a side screen and kept going.  He was finding a lot of plots and plans that made no sense.  Even if they were sucking up the remains of the plot against the SGC, they made no sense.  Which to him meant demons so he looked in a few other spots, sighing when he found their tentacles that way as well.  "Does anyone else wonder if Xander's going to grow extra arms?  I mean, it's got to be his Hindu side's powers coming out since it's not chaos magic, and a lot of them have extra limbs or animal heads."

Pepper petted him on the head.  "More weapons to hold in battle.  Or so he'd probably say, Jensen."

"Probably, yeah."  He got back into it, tipping his head to the side.  She scratched an itchy spot.  "Thanks.  Scales need oiled there."  He got back to it.

"What?" Stark asked, giving him a confused look.

Jensen smirked.  "You didn't hear anything about my people?"

"No.  Are you demonic?"

"Dragon actually.  We're refugees from a coup.  Been here for centuries."  He got back to work.  Pepper was giggling.  "Really.  I'll show you after I'm done with them.  I wonder if Roque would capture and bring a wraith to Wolfram and Hart's offices.  They ignore animals but not people, and demons should be close enough.  And they absolutely love to attack anyone with any sort of magical gift.  Apparently magic is like extra tasty sauce on top of life force for them.  Must be their version of chocolate with the way they went after that botanist from Roque's people.  And... there, all exposed," he said, putting that up instead of the prior information.

Fury looked then at him, giving him an odd look.  "Dragons?  Really?"  Jensen changed to his smaller form, staring at him.  "Cute."

"My other form is as big as my room on the city."  He smirked.  "It's great fun pouncing things to smash them flat sometimes."

"Uh-huh," Tony said, staring at him.  Jensen smirked at him.  "Fire breathing too?"

"Not at my age.  Some of the older ones, and the mean priestesses too."  He changed back and sat down again.  "Why would demons be against the SGC?  It shouldn't matter to most of their plans."  He called someone.  "Wesley, Jensen, friend of Xander's.  Got a question.  If demons found that a government program opened a mythical ring that went to other worlds.....  Yeah, the Ring of Myths...."  He opened another window and made notes.  "Seriously?"

He nodded, still typing.  "Okay, that makes a lot of sense.  Yes, they are.  No, one's in storage.  A program was looking over it and that's beyond the other problems but they were helping them.  Yeah, the one that made Sunnydale scatter.  NID.  Exactly, man.  Thanks, Wesley."  He hung up and let Pepper have those notes.  "If we need more help, let me know.  Roque, I found them and demons are involved."  He got snatched to the shadows to be talked to on his way back to the city.

Tony Stark looked at the new blank spot.  "I thought Xander was hyper."  Fury burst out cackling at that.

"A lot of hackers are hyper," one of the other agents said.

"Maybe that's why Rosenburg stunted Xander on computer things," he decided.  "So he wouldn't be more hyper."  He looked at Nick Fury.  "How is Joyce getting her treatments up there?"

"That infirmary pod had the pharmacy," Pepper said dryly.  "They put them closer in case she had a reaction.  It had two nurses and them, plus the pharmacy cabinet."  He nodded.  "By the designs, each pod has an emergency escape capability."

"It does," Fury agreed.  "In case we had to evacuate the fortress."  He looked at the new information.  "Get me on vid link with O'Neill."  She did that for him.  His assistant smiled at Pepper.  "I told her if she ever got tired of Stark, you two could share," he told his assistant.

"Pepper deserves her own spandex suit for all that she does," Fury's assistant quipped.

"I hate spandex, it makes me look chunky," Pepper assured her with a smile.  "Even Dawn agreed with me."  The video conference showed up and they sent information to him.

"On the plot against both our groups and on the ones that shot at us," Fury said.

Jack O'Neill nodded at that.  "Huh.  Demons too this time."  He glanced to the right then back at the computer screen and camera.  Pepper texted someone and then a minute later someone screamed very loudly about Sheppard and Roque.

"I don't like this new habit of my baby brother passing out at my feet," Sheppard snarled.  "Quit picking on him."

O'Neill looked.  "I didn't know you were that sort of big brother, Sheppard."

"Yes, sir, I'm all that and more because Xander never tells anyone he needs help until he passes out.  Which pisses me off."

"You?" Roque snorted.  "I tried for *centuries* to change that attitude Odin and the others forced on him!  That and his 'I'm fine' thing when he's obviously not and bleeding."

"That sounds familiar," Jack joked.  "I do the same thing, guys."

"Yes, sir, but you're aware of your limits.  You don't suddenly break out in godly powers," John said.  He kicked the idiot again, staring down at him.  "What the fuck did you think you're doing taking a general hostage?  Especially that one."

"I have notes from Jensen," Pepper offered.  "And he wondered if Xander was going to grow extra arms."

John gave the screen a very strange look.  Then he shook his head quickly.  "Bad mental place, sorry.  Mom would sob on all of us if he did."  He rubbed his forehead.  The idiots tried to get away during it but Roque cleared his bad mental images on them.

"That's even worse than my mother wanting him to take a position under a love god if we had gotten together," Roque complained.

"He is hell on the back from what Dawn said Anya complained about," Pepper quipped.  Both guys glared at the screen.  She smiled back.  "I can ask her to tell you after she's done with my paperwork tomorrow."

"Speaking of, when can I get my infirmary pod back?" Fury asked.

John shrugged.  "I have no idea how we'll get it back to you, Agent Fury.  I'm not sure if we can duplicate Xander's new power temper fit of desperation that moved it up there."

"What?" O'Neill asked.

"Someone fired on my flying office fortress," Fury told him.  O'Neill nodded.  "The Sunnydale team was mostly in my infirmary to protect them from earlier's things."  That got another nod.

"Xander had a massive power break out and brought them all to safety when someone fired on them," John said.  "Our docs are real confused right now but Joyce's notes were thankfully on her bed and so were Buffy's.  Xander's just got a migraine again.  When did he start to do that anyway?"

"It's probably why he only lost his eye in the explosion," Roque said more quietly.  "It had to be with the way he only had injuries there."

"I didn't notice it when he was healing on the city."

"I noticed it when he came back and so did Thor," Fury told him.  "He seemed and felt more powerful."

"Speaking of, security said he's stomping this way," his assistant told him.  They waited until Thor came in.

"Where is my nephew?" he demanded.

"With me," John said from the screen.  "He broke out during an emergency evacuation because someone fired on the city, Thor."  Thor stared at him, mouth slightly open.  "You can tell Odin I have him and he'll have to wait.  Xander's unconscious.  It'll probably be weeks before he's able to wake up fully with the way his head's got to hurt."

"Odin wanted to see him today."

John sighed.  "Roque?  Can we?"

"Definitely.  O'Neill, need more help?"

"No, I've got SG forces coming, guys.  Thank you.  Sheppard....."

John smirked.  "I'm Xander's big brother."

"I know what he told Landry."

"So do I.  No comment but he didn't lie about extra powers.  I don't."  He left with Roque.

Fury looked at O'Neill.  "Maybe Harris will sign on out there?"

"Maybe," Jack agreed.

"Would the wormhole hurt a pregnant woman?" Tony asked.  Pepper gaped at him.  "There's no way I'm letting my future spawn go to Sunnydale, even if they did it on us, Pepper.  So start interviewing a good nanny?  Please?"

"Definitely," she assured him dryly.  "And I'll have legal draw up a nice custody agreement with visitation for the mother's family."  He smiled.  "Plus trust fund documents."  She made that email out to send.  And sent a warning to their other close friends and helpers.

Thor looked at Stark.  "You have a child?"

"NID, the people who fired on us, knocked up Buffy on him," Fury said dryly.  "Even though he's sterilized and she's on medicine to prevent it."

"Warn your friend," Pepper told him, looking at Thor.   "They wanted Xander's kids to work with too."  Thor shuddered and nodded, calling her to tell her that information.  It took all concern about Odin's orders right out of Thor's head for a bit so that was good.  She and Tony shared a look and Fury and O'Neill smirked at that bit of work.

***

John walked into Valhalla like he belonged there, and he could belong there if he wanted to die.  He walked up to Odin and the rest of the seated, impatient council.  "Xander is on my city healing.  His traumatic break out was to remove those he considers family during an attack on their vulnerable position since most were under medical care."  Odin gaped.  "He's presently unconscious.  It'll be weeks.  It was not Norse magic, chaos magic, or Greek magic.  It was our shared mother's sort of magic that did the move as far as I can tell."

Odin stared at him.  "We must test him."

"Xander's not going to be able to get out of bed for *weeks*, Odin.  It set off a massive vision at the same time.  He passed out at my feet again and the next time someone attacks them and makes my little brother pass out next to me I'm killing them all.  We've already gotten a good start on this one."

"Excuse me?" Loki demanded with a smile.  "Who did what?"

"Even some demons are against the SG," Roque said with a smirk.  "They think the Ring is a bad thing still."

"It is," Freya agreed.  "But they seem to have it handled."

"Yes, but the bad ones who have plans want it shut down before humanity gets too powerful or learns things," John said smugly.  "They're going to be very sorry now.  I'm taking Xander's place in this battle."  A few shuddered.  Including Loki.  "No one touches my baby brother that way.  I tend to lose my temper."  He looked across them.  "Are there other concerns about Xander and his new migraine of doom?"

"Weeks?" Frigg asked more quietly.

"His power came out suddenly, all at once, and moved something metal the size of the drinking hall," Roque told her.  "Plus people."  She shuddered.  "That was bad enough but when he landed he had a vision on top of that brain ripping pain.  Fortunately they were already used to Xander showing up and passing out in John's arms so he's in a bed and so is most of his made family in Sunnydale."

"We are his family," Odin said.

Roque looked at him and snorted.  "That's why he made a better one.  They've never ignored him when he was bleeding to death after a battle.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish calming down from a mission with my new consort and he's conveniently on John's city as well."  He took them both off.  Valhalla had plenty of shadows since it was lit by torches and lanterns.

Odin looked at Loki.  "You gave me mouthy grandchildren."

"They appreciate you like I do," he said smugly.  He walked off.  "Let me go help with the destruction of those who wanted to torture my son and make him spawn so they'd have children to test, torture, and use."

"They did what?" Frigg demanded, standing up.  Loki looked at her and nodded.  "Why?"

"To take out John on his city.  That way they'd have control of the Pretender's things," he said smugly.  "Those that the warriors are with are under the same attack."  He disappeared.

She looked at Odin.  Who was looking worried.  "Well, do something!" she demanded, swatting him.

"I know of nothing to do, woman!"

"Then we'll do it," she said firmly.  The other goddesses nodded.  "Valkyries, to me," she ordered as she walked out, followed by Freya and the others.  The Valkyries went too.  Most of them doted on Xander.  She went to where Thor was, staring at him.  "Who dares touch a son of Valhalla," she sneered.

Thor, being a son of Valhalla himself, knew what scary women were in his family.  Them being in a mass rage...  He pointed at Fury's office.  "The ones who are leading the battles are talking in Agent Fury's office.  Alexander is safely with John."

Freya snorted.  "We won't need you boys."  They walked that way.

Thor nodded politely at his sisters and the rest of the Valkyries.  This was a really bad sign.  He wanted a hole like that one cartoon had that he could pull over himself.  Even Stark looked worried.  Even Pepper Potts looked worried about so many strong women taking control.   He went to see if any of the scientists had made that sort of hole.  "Coulson, do we have anything that I could hide in and pull over myself before my female relatives destroy your people?" he asked, staying polite.  There were women in the lab.

Agent Coulson stared at him.  "What?"  A lab geek coughed and showed him the security footage.  They had pulled O'Neill to talk in person with them.  "Are those your relatives, Thor?"

"All of my female relatives."

"No, we don't have the Road Runner's hole," one scientist said with a smile for him.  "But your girlfriend will protect you.  She'd understand and make sure they didn't do more than ask you to lift things or carry things."  Thor beamed and left.  "It's cute how he's scared of his aunts and sisters.  Thankfully human women make more sense."

Coulson looked at her.  "No comment."  He walked off shaking his head to save his boss.  When Tony Stark went jogging past him and Pepper followed more sedately he decided Thor might have a point.  By the time he got there, some of John's mother's people were there and so was a dark haired Goddess in leather.  He looked at Fury.  "Can I help?"

"No, we don't need any," one of the Indian Goddesses said, patting him on the cheek.  "You are quite adorable and my daughter needs a new concubine."

"Sorry, ma'am, but I'd have to date her first.  I'm respectful that way."

She beamed.  "That's wonderful.  I'll send her to introduce herself."

"Sure," he agreed, looking at his boss before going to find a portable hole for himself.   If Dawn was around she'd protect him, or Tara, but he had to find another woman to hide behind soon.  Before one of them took advantage of him.  He heard them greet more women to the meeting and decided he wanted to be on solid ground again so he got sent to the nearest city to hide somewhere that wouldn't collapse on top of him.  He could ...manage things from there.

***

John walked into the infirmary with Roque behind him.  "All of our female relatives went to pounce Agent Fury to see how they could help."  Doctor Lam snickered.  "I do mean all of Xander's relatives, most of mine on both sides, some of Roque's too.  There's a scary, powerful woman meeting in Fury's office."  He looked at Dawn.

"They'd never let me help because I'm not a goddess, John."  Her mother choked.  "They wouldn't."

"Probably," Buffy said.  "I could....."

"Nope.  Shadow shifting is not encouraged for pregnant people because we can't always wrap the child in safely," Roque said.

"Or wormholing back," he told her.  "So it's the ship and it'll be two months before it comes back, Buffy.  We'll find something for you to do."

She nodded.  "I'm used to fighting."

"Hell no," her mother ordered.  Echoed by Dawn.

"I'll go fight," Dawn assured her.

"Hell no," Jensen said, staring at her from next to Xander's bed.  "The wraith are drawn to magic like it's chocolate."

"Oh, really?"  John nodded.  "Huh.  Then I'll do what I can to help however, John."

"I have paperwork and Pepper said you're really good at it."  She beamed and nodded.  "We'll work on school stuff later this week."  He looked at Joyce, who was still looking weak.  "Doc, do you need Dawn or Tara?  If not, I'll have them put into rooms."

"Tara is still a bit woozy from being knocked on the head.  Xander also fought to wake up when she tried to leave a few minutes ago."

"He considers Tara like a sister," Roque told her with a smile.

"I knew that."

John walked over to Xander's bed, leaning down to stroke a hand over his forehead and get next to his ear.  "Tara is safe with me, Xander.  I'm taking her and Dawn to their rooms.  You sleep and rest.  You're in the infirmary on the city again," he whispered.  Xander moaned and reached.  John sighed and concentrated, joining minds with Xander, which came from their mother's side of the family.  He repeated it and Xander relaxed and let the power he was holding go.  That helped a lot but the headache got worse.  John nudged him into a deeper sleep and pulled back, looking at the docs.  "Mom taught me.  He's napping.  Ladies, let's get you to rooms."  They nodded, following him to Evan, who had all the room assignments.

Buffy looked at Xander then at Doctor Lam.  "You're the one he's seeing," she said.  Carolyn smiled and nodded.  "I guess all the big needles make you mean enough for him but remember the shovel axiom of friendship.  I may be waddling.  Mom may be weak, but we'll still get you."

"I know and I'd expect it, Buffy."  She tucked her in.  "Now, you need to rest.  It was a bad trip."  She nodded and slid down to rest.  She looked at Jensen, who protectively had Xander's axe.  "Jensen, he can cuddle it.  He doesn't need a guard."  Jensen handed it to her, making her hand tingle.  "Thank you."  He kissed her on the cheek and left.  She let Xander cuddle the axe for now.  One of the nurses gave her an odd look.  "It's his blessed weapon and he knows how to hold it and not cut himself I'm sure."

"Last time he had nightmares and pinned a nurse to the ceiling," Keller told her.  "And we don't allow anyone to keep sharp, pointy things in the infirmary.  Not even Ronon."

"How did you get them all off Ronon?" Carolyn asked with a smile.

"That's a good point but usually we've stripped him down for treatment."  She looked at Xander, who was still dressed in jeans and a sweaty, dirty t-shirt.  "We should check him for injuries."  Joyce snickered.  "I remember.  Doctor Lam?" she offered.

Carolyn blushed.  "We've only had a few dates.  He might feel uncomfortable."  John strolled back in with two cups of coffee, handing her one before putting the other one beside Xander.  Xander sniffled and patted the table.  John guided his hand to it, letting him sip it carefully.  "He needs coffee?"

"Caffeine helps with migraines according to excedrin," he quipped.  "It has caffeine and aspirin."

"It does," she admitted.  She sipped hers.  "Hmm, nice coffee, Colonel."  Xander snuffled John's stomach.  "That's John, Xander."  He mumbled something.

John grinned.  "I know you know it's me but we have to get you into jammies."  Xander moaned and nodded, handing off his axe.  "Want me to watch her for you?  I can make sure she's very safe since she won't hide right now."  Xander almost blinked at him.  His eyes opened a tiny fraction then squeezed shut.  "She'll be beside me in bed, Xander.  I promise to watch her for you."  Xander mumbled something else so he helped him out of his t-shirt.  "Jeans too."  The boy blushed and mumbled.  "No, your cartoon boxers won't make Carolyn laugh.  I promise.  She's seen Cam's and he's got Snoopy ones."

"I just think it's cute, Xander, and I'll be across the room so I don't embarrass you."  She moved off.  Xander let John help him down to his boxers and socks, which were sweaty so got taken too.  Xander mumbled something and started to snore.  "Good boy," she said, coming over to cover him up.  "Good boy and I'll see you when you wake up."  He snuffled her and his axe floated back to his hands.  "I'm safe.  We're on John's city.  All your family is safe, Xander."  He let John take it and snuggled in.  She put on an eye covering mask and it was better.  She petted him until he snored.  "There, you rest."

John grinned.  "Good job," he said quietly.  He looked at the axe then walked off with the empty cup Xander had gotten down.  Rodney stared at the axe oddly when he walked past him.  "Xander's."

"I figured that much.  It's the only one I know of in existence."

"No, there's plenty around," John quipped with a grin.  "I'm protecting it."

"You occasionally babysit Ronon's knives when he's in the infirmary as well," Rodney quipped back.  That was just too cute.  He took a picture of it to post on the Atlantis webserver.

Later that night someone captioned it 'everyone wants their own battle axe'.

***

O'Neill looked around the mess that the final clean up battle had created and nodded.  "All rigthy then.  Campers, looks like they're sorry as hell.  The Ori probably are going to be here any day now."

"I say we ask the scary Goddess contingent if they'd like to make them wish to worship them," Daniel offered with a smile for the one beside him.

"What are these Ori?"  Daniel explained where they had come from and she snorted, looking up to talk to the others.  "Puny ascended."  She flashed out.  They weren't that far away.  Well within their radius.  The most powerful goddesses appeared and taught them the true meaning of 'be scared of your god's wrath' and what worship should entail.  A few died but the rest, it'd be nice to have a power base in another galaxy if Jack's people blew up the earth by accident.  Having their people in Pegasus helped as well.  Maybe they'd take over that nice garden world and make it theirs.  Though they'd have to protect it and then weed out John's DNA taint.  His mother was still pissed off about that.

John's mother appeared on Atlantis' pier, walking past the Marines to find her son.  They called him to announce her she was sure.  She smiled at those she walked past.  Tracking her baby was still so easy.  She walked into the mess and stared down at him.  "John, what is this I hear that you have been tampered with?  Your grace marred by an insect?"

He finished the bite he was chewing.  "Actually, Mom, after it bit me I briefly turned into a big blue bug/human hybrid," he said, eating another bite.

"My son, you are not The Tick."  He choked.  "Amber and her boyfriend had me watch it," she sighed.  She put her hands on her hips, staring at him, one foot tapping.  "When were you going to tell me of this?"

"Never."

"I do not believe that's a wise idea.  If any of us decide to build on that beautiful garden world where some of our holiest plants are, we'd have to put up a shield so no wraith could get through.  Which would mean you couldn't visit."

He stared at her.  "Why aren't you complaining at Xander about his mermaid taint?"

She gaped.  "Excuse me?" she demanded.  "I knew it was something."

"Sheppard, most people run from women when they're that pissed off," a female Marine called from across the room.

"She's my mother, she'd find me," John said.  He looked at her again. "I'm sure it'll be weeded out sometime, like when we go back.  Will his eye?"

Her eyes narrowed and she stared to glare.  "Do not try to distract me with your brother, John.  You will be quite sorry."  He ate some more so he couldn't say anything.  "Good boy, I wasn't going to mention your weight but you clearly do need to finish dinner so I can have someone like your father look over your DNA taint."  She looked up.  "Lord Apollo, may I please borrow my son's father?"  Apollo himself showed up, giving her a confused look.  "Thank you for handling this matter yourself, Lord Apollo."  She kissed him on the cheek then pointed.  "My idiot sons have seen fit to get taint in their grace and DNA.  John's is from a *bug* of all things and my other son has mermaid taint."

"Poseidon seen him yet?" he quipped.

"Not that sort," John said.

"Oh, them."  He stared at John.  "How did you do that?"

"Got bitten."  He finished dinner.

Apollo looked at John.  "There's a few things I can do.  Especially if you're keeping that enhancement they gave you."

"It's very helpful but I'd hate to be blue again."

"Only if you suddenly break into powers, my son," she said with a smirk.  "It's a high mark from Krishna."

"Jensen wanted to know if Xander would grow extra arms like Shiva, Mom."

She considered it.  "He would look wonderful with them."  Apollo shook his head.  "We can see later.  Quit trying to distract me with my other baby, John.  I'll go fuss over him soon."

John looked at the healing God.  "He had a power breakout."

"Dude, we heard.  All the goddesses on Earth heard.  They were so unhappy they destroyed *everything* that got in their way.  Even the war gods got out of their way."

"That's always a wise idea.  Women are naturally superior," John's mother said smugly.  "We give birth to cute things like you."  She pinched Apollo on the cheek.  He leered at her.  "Want to relax later by the vineyards I just put in, Lord Apollo?"

"Sure, I'd like that.  The muses are cranky right now.  They're synced."  He laid a hand on John's head, testing his energy.  John was glowing white.  He grimaced.  "All right, when you go back down, you'll lose the bug taint to your DNA but you're keeping all the strength and stuff."  He let him go.  "I can't remove it now without possibly screwing you up and turning you into a girl."

"I'd never hear the end of that," John assured him.

"I know, dude.  Should've seen it when Strife did it to Ares once when he was a baby."  He smirked evilly at the young godling.  "Also, headaches in your future, dude.  Get more pissed a few more times."  He looked around.  "Let me check on your whiny case of scraped knees and elbows, then we'll have a glass of your new wine."  She took his arm and walked him that way.  Behind them, John put his head on the table with a thump.

"Dear, if you get dented too much up here, I'm finding you a very pretty wife who will be protective to help you in battles and in life," she said as they walked out of the cafeteria.  "And give me many granddaughters to fuss over."

"Yes, Mom, I won't ever get hurt again," John called into the table.  He sent up a prayer to his father to save him.  And then Xander's father to save both of them.  Someone patted John on the back so he looked up at their new doc.  "Help," he mouthed.

"I will never tell your mother if you get injured, John.  I promise I won't unless you could die."

"Thank you, Peter."  He hugged him.  He put his head back down.

"Sit up and eat, lad.  You need it to stay strong in case Xander gets another vision during an attack."  John moaned, sitting up to eat.

"Oh, my God, it was one of the other positions that he was given that broke out!" a female voice complained loudly.

John winced, mentally summoning Roque.  He actually had tact with their mother.  That loud and Xander had to be growling so they'd need to hold him down anyway.

Jensen leaned in.  "He said he's already in there.  He did growl at them both for being so loud, and Carolyn Lam told them off."  He grinned.  "And it was his one from Tibet?"  He left again.

John sighed, looking at Peter.  "Can I hide?"

"In a few years, you can hide with your new sister."

"Good point.  She might like it.  I can turn her from a girly little girl into a real, strong woman."  He got seconds and sat down to eat.  "Nothing changed, people.  I'm still not a god or anything."  They quit staring at him.  Xander ran in and hid under the table against John's legs, going invisible.  John and Peter both looked down at him then nodded.  That was a wise idea when their mother was on a rip.  Peter made sure they were all invisible when she stomped back.  She huffed and left.  It didn't fool her any but she knew pressing the boys would make them more stubborn.  Apollo went too.

John sent up a prayer to Apollo for a strong sister if they got it on.  He needed someone else to teach how to fight.  And maybe set up with Ronon.  He petted Xander's head, making him fall back asleep.  "Good job, Xander.  Very nice hiding job."  They reappeared and so did Xander.

Doctor Keller walked in with a sigh.  "Xander, want to go back to your nap?" she asked the table.  He growled.  "Please?  Carolyn said you need to rest to make your head hurt less."  Still growling.  "Please?"

John shook his head.  "Let me finish, Doc."

"Thank you," she sighed.  She stomped off.

Peter looked down at Xander then at him.  "C'mon, Xander.  Let's go talk to Roque's new consort.  I'm sure we can make him blush prettily."  Xander mumbled something.  "You did?  Well, that was fancy and nice for a consummation event, yeah.  I'm sure he appreciated it."  He helped Xander up and to his bed in the infirmary.  "Where did you get the leather pants?"

"They appeared as he ran," Keller complained.

"Ah.  Must've been from his Da then."  He got him stripped down and back in bed.  "There now.  Carolyn, give him a sweet dreams kiss on the temple," he instructed with a smirk.  She glared but did that.  Xander blew one back, mumbled something sweet and gooey, then drifted off again.

Clay looked over from having his leg looked at, shaking his head.   "You're good, Doc."

"Yes I am," Carolyn said with a smirk.

"You too," Roque assured her.  "It's how we used to do it when he had measles, all ten times."

"Ten?" she demanded.

"He won't make antibodies for that, the plague, and two others," Peter said.  "Had the plague a few times now.  That's why he came back so young this time actually."  Roque nodded, then shuddered.  "You gotta admit, only a boy like Xander could find himself on the hellmouth of all of us, Roque."

"Yeah, that's true."  He looked at Clay, who was giving him an odd look.  "Xander does impossible shit.  He always has," he assured him.  "Faced down Ghengis Khan with his damn axe and nothing else.  Naked thank you because he had been with some local village girl the night before.  She had pounced him as a special blessing before her wedding."  Carolyn Lam whimpered.  Roque nodded.  "He needs a good lover who'll remind him about common sense."

"He's scarily starting to sound like he should sign onto the program," she shot back.

Roque smirked.  "I met Clay and the first thought I had was wondering if he was Xander's long lost son.  A few years later I met Jensen and decided he was too."  She giggled.  "I swear that boy never shuts up."

"Nope," Jensen said from his seat, smirking at him.  "Kept you sane-ish for years too, Roque."

"Ruined my sanity is more like it," he snorted.  "What're you doing in here anyway?"

"I'm kinda acting as his honor guard."

"Go sun!"  He pointed.  "Now!"

"I'm fine.  I sunned when we camped."

"Uh-huh.  You're pale.  Go sun your scaley ass on the pier."

"I can't do that on the city."  Clay gave him a pointed look.  "Fine, I'll go sit on the roof in human form."  He walked off.

"Thanks," Clay called after him.  He hit Roque on the arm.  "Be nicer to Jensen.  He helped protect the kid the last time he was in here too.  He had to defeat the evil rumor that he was holding Xander's axe for a reason."

Roque shuddered.  "I can't see those two.  Sorry.  Bad image."  Carolyn cackled, shaking her head.  "I've known Jensen now for six years, Doc.  Boy gets on your last nerve on purpose but he's wiggled too far under your skin by then so you can't kill 'im."  He helped Clay up.  "You done yet?"

"I don't know.  Doctor Biro?"

"You're fine, Colonel.  You're cleared for duty.  Pooch has about two more days so you're good by the time we resume missions."  Clay smiled at her.  "Make Jensen quit pouting.  Boys like him who pout bring people to solve it."

"Doc, I wouldn't care if he was doing half the base," Clay said bluntly.  "As long as there's no baby Jensens, no one wrecks him emotionally, and he can still do the work, I'm all for stress relief.  It's almost a team motto at times."  She blushed.  "Before Pooch married Jolene, he joined in with our bar crawling, whoring down times.  Hell, a few times girls asked Roque if he was pimping Cougar out and offered to pay major bucks for him.  We had to tie some steak to Jensen for a while but he got into it after that."  He smirked.  "Stress is bad for a soldier.  That's why most bases on earth have whores around them."  She was now bright red and ducking her head.  "Up here, we make due."  He shrugged and walked off.  "Let the boy date if he wants."

"Sure," she squeaked.

"Some of the Spec Ops teams on the main base have the same philosophy," Carolyn told her, patting her on the arm.  "We just made notes in their files if they came in with something and made sure they didn't need tetanus shots since most of them liked to be bitten for some reason."

"Were they bitten by the same thing that team was?" Keller asked.

"You never met Team 9?"

"No," Keller admitted.

Biro cackled.  "I met one of them.  Seven bite marks from a native and all he said was she thought he was tasty."

"Probably.  They seem to draw them."  The nurses giggled.  Most of them had seen that team over the years too.

"Don't you have to report that stuff?" Keller asked.

Lam shook her head.  "No.  I don't see anything in any oath I took that says I have to say a word about someone's personal habits unless they're harming themselves or others.  Frankly, I don't care who's screwing who unless I'm dating them."  She stared the younger doctor down.  "The SGC people work really hard and need the stress relief.  However they choose to do that is none of my business as long as they're safe when they do it."

"As Xander said, nothing's better than apocalypse sex," Buffy said from her bed.  "We do the same thing when we're dating someone.  I miss dating someone."  Carolyn smiled at her.

"I miss you dating someone decent," Joyce said.  "It's sad that Angel's the only one that qualifies with the way he stalked you and acted like an asshole before he lost his soul."  Buffy scowled at her.  "Dear, you need better taste.  Date a guy like on this base."  She smiled.  "I'd be very proud of that."

"I think it's a moot point for a year or so, Mom," she said dryly.

"Dear, be honest.  You're like a surrogate for that baby.  There's no way you can raise it and hunt."

"I know."  She looked at her stomach then at her mother.  "I was going to suggest that he take custody and give you and Dawnie visiting rights."  Joyce smiled at her for that sensible notion.  "But he has to buy me non-ugly maternity clothes."

"Fine, if he'll do it," she said.  "You can ask Dawn.  Where is Dawn?"

"Doing John's paperwork," Carolyn quipped.  "He's been very happy for her to do it."

"Well, it's probably safer up here anyway," Buffy said.  "No one up here wants to do more than eat her.  On earth it was always a demon somewhere with a plan to kidnap her for her blood."  Xander mumbled something and the lights went down again.  She looked up then at him.  "Head starting to hurt again?" she quipped.  He nodded.  The doctors gave him another dose of pain killer and the lights came up once he was asleep.  "It's weird thinking about Xander being the powerful one.  I still keep thinking of him as the normal one."

"I doubt he'll use it very often, Buffy," Joyce sighed.  "You heard what the one God said, it might go recessive and not come out again."

"At least he won't be scary like Willow became," she sighed.  She looked at the dinner tray then at the doctors.  "It's like school lunch only strangely colored."

"Quite," Carolyn agreed.  "They do good with the native food though."  Buffy nodded, taking little bites.  Some of it she could eat.  The rest her mother got.  Joyce scowled.  Carolyn scowled at both of them.

"Wow, you have the mom look down pat, Doc," Buffy said with a grin.  "Some day I want to be an auntie."

"It'll be a few years, young lady.  I plan on enjoying dating."  Buffy blushed and nodded that worked.  Joyce ate the vegetables, she needed them.  They were giving her another dose of chemo tonight.  Fortunately the SHIELD pharmacy cabinet had her next few doses in it.

Xander belched and mumbled something in his sleep, flipping over.  Everyone looked at their neon pink tutus and baby blue tank tops they were suddenly wearing instead of their clothes.  Buffy glared at Xander.  "I don't want to know what sort of funny dreams you have, Xander Harris.  Your mind is a warped, strange place and this is ugly."  She ended up with hippo ears too, making her sniffle.  "Mom!"

"He'll fix it when he gets up, dear."  She removed the tutu.  It wasn't comfortable to lay on.

The rest of them changed into scrubs for now.  They'd get Xander to change their clothes back later.  When he was awake.  None of them wanted hippo ears too.

***

Xander's mother appeared in front of the ornate doors of the ancient temple, pushing them open to walk in.  It was a breach of good manners and protocol to appear inside the temple so she had to hike.  She finally made it to their throne room and no one was there.  She knew they had felt her appear so she huffed.  "It's not like my son didn't break out in *your* powers," she called.  They appeared, staring at her.  She nodded.  "Xander, my son, had his power break out."  The head of their pantheon smiled at her.  "With your type of powers.  I know you guys gave him an official title due to his protecting you."  He nodded.  "So how do you want to deal with this?"

"We have no idea.  What is his will?"

"He broke out moving a large metal room with those he considers his mortal family to Atlantis *there*.  He's not saying much beyond a grunt for a few weeks I'm told."

He grimaced.  "That poor boy's headache."  He sat down on his throne, looking at the others.  "We are mostly hidden now, no worshipers or any others who kneel and pray to us."

"I know.  Krishna said to come talk to you about your plans for my son because he's not sure what we should do either since he's ours by birth.  Odin's all but ignoring it except to growl because this takes the one he hates to deal with from his protection."

"Hmm.  That is an interesting question.  Odin's love/hate relationship with his own son and the grandson he sired is frivolous and all in Odin's mind."  She nodded she knew that.  "Did you slap him again?" he asked with smile.

"Twice this time."  She smiled back.  "Then Freya said she'd beat him for me."  He laughed and nodded.  The Valhallan women were feisty.  "They also helped with the plans to take my son hostage as an experiment and make him breed so they could take over Atlantis."

"Hmm, very dumb of them but we watched with amusement," the top female assured her with a smile.  "If you had needed more help we would have joined."  Xander's mother smiled back.

"It might be best, since Xander has earned titles in almost every single pantheon, that we set him up as a protector."  He got up and went to a wall, tracing a few of the marks until he got to a section.  "Here, our last seer's insane rambles when the visions ruined her mind."  He let her see it.

She translated it mentally, frowning.  "Seriously?"  He nodded.  "May I have a copy of that so I can share it with Krishna and his father?  And possibly Hera?"

"Of course."  He copied it for her and let her have it.  She smiled and left.  He looked at the rest and nodded.  "He'll have to pick honor guards and his brother would do well with that."  He went back to talk to the others.  "There would probably be a banquet again soon."  They smiled and went to make sure they had the proper formal things.  It had been a long time since they had come out of their temple.

***

Xander's mother appeared in front of the goddesses having tea.  "Lady Hera."  She smiled.  "From the people that sponsored my son's break out."  She handed over the scroll and sat down beside Hestia.  She adored the older goddess, and had learned a lot from her.

She read it and paused, then stared at the other goddesses.  "When is this from?"

"Their last seer."

"Oh."  She handed it on to the other goddesses.  "We really should talk to Odin."

"He's being a hide-bound, pouty ass," Xander's mother assured her.  "I've already slapped him twice today.  I can get Freya.  Or Frigg, though she's scowling."

"They should be involved.  What did your higher ups want, dear?" Artemis asked, handing it on.

"Krishna said it's not a bad idea with as many ties as he has to the other pantheons.  My poor son can never seem to stay out of the stupid shit he does."  They all giggled.  Frigg appeared.  "They still arguing?"

"Odin just told Loki he had to sterilize himself.  He promised he'd go create three new granddaughters who hated us all in retaliation so they're fighting again."  She sat down and accepted a glass of wine.  "Thank you, Hestia.  I clearly need the calming down time in the sun."   She accepted the scroll and read it, grimacing some.  "Odin will have cows.  Multiple, horned, miniature cows."

"Well, that's one way to get fresh milk," one of the Japanese goddesses offered with a smile.

Frigg nodded.  "But then we'd have to clean up after them."  She passed it on.  "It would probably suit us if they did it that way but that would require a mass banquet and agreement from the pantheons.  Or it'd cause a war."

"Xander's presently on Atlantis recovering," his mother said dryly.  "John got a bit upset that his baby brother kept showing up and passing out at his feet.  It's the second time now."

"I heard he did when he got saved from that witch," Hera said dryly.

Xander's mother looked at her.  "Please don't get me started on that witch.  I wish to kill her myself."

"I think most of us who like your son would do the same," Hestia assured her with a pat on the hand.  "Is he feeling better?  I noticed the eyepatch."

"It's gone," Xander's mother told her.  "The explosion destroyed it and they had to take it.  Odin apparently told him it was for a better reason than his own."  They all shuddered.  "So I slapped him then too."  She sipped her wine.  They all giggled.

Frigg nodded.  "Freya had to walk her off and Xander had to get them to let her go.  That's how we found that Odin wasn't really him and someone had a plan to replace him.  Xander nearly blew up Valhalla."  Athena moaned, shaking her head.  "He was a bit upset with us."

"Just a tiny bit," his mother agreed dryly.  "Krishna made him meditate on how that would have meant his father could've taken over Valhalla's reins."  The ladies giggled.  They worked out plans for monthly meetings, because they had been bored.  Plus she got to remind them that both her boys were still single.  They also worked out what to do about Xander so they could send the ideas to their spouses and leaders.  Who wouldn't listen until it was pointed out how good it was for them and then they'd take credit for it.

***

John got the formal invitation and sighed.  "This is not a good timing thing," he told the scroll.  "We're due to be attacked soon."  It wiggled.  He snatched it from the air.  It went dead in his hand so he opened it, reading it.  "Absolutely not," he shouted.  "Mother!"  She appeared, giving him a dirty look.  "No.  Xander won't be out of bed by then.  I'm due to be attacked that week, no."  He handed it back.

"You and Xander aren't expected until the final dinner, dear.  They're working out how to deal with Xander's new breakout since half of everyone can claim him."  She patted him on the head.  "And if you get dead from the stupid bug people, I'm destroying them."

"No one would say a single thing if you wanted to destroy the wraith, Mother."

"Oh, well, wonderful."  She smiled.  "Shiva's daughter is coming up tomorrow to help you, John.  She's got many ideas and is an explosives expert."  She grinned as she disappeared.

He groaned, telling McKay that.  It was clearly matchmaking on some level.  He hated having his mother nag and try to be subtle.

A woman with long, black hair, deep brown eyes, flawless medium tan skin, and a regal bearing appeared.  She was wearing a red sari with a gold shirt, high heels that matched her top, and many bracelets.  "Quit whining, John.  It's getting me out of my father's arranged meeting with a boy I should like."

He stared, mouth slightly open.  "She said Shiva's daughter."

"Well, yes, I am.  She adopted me."  She smirked.  He smirked back.  "Besides, my father would hate if we hooked up.  Now, Xander...."

"He's still in the infirmary."

"I figured as much and brought you a treat."  She handed over the box.  "Those toffee almonds you used to eat compulsively."  She winked.  "So, who can I blow up this time?"

"The wraith.  They travel in hives."

"Oooh, cool!" she said with a beaming smile.  She looked behind her as someone walked in.  "Awww, cute people.  My father will be horrified if I flirt so you're mostly safe."

Evan Lorne looked at her then at John.  "She's an explosives expert on McKay's level," John told him.  "Adopted by Shiva.  Mom arranged for her to come blow up the wraith for us."  He ate an almond and moaned.  "Oh, you did an excellent job on these, Mari."

"You're welcome.  Share some with Xander.  The Goddess Tea Society are figuring out how to make sure their men agree with their plans."  She walked off.  "Introduce me to Doctor McKay, Major.  I wish to know if I need to bring the bombs I already have created or if I should find something larger."

"Sure," he decided, walking her that way.  "Are you related to John's mother?"

She smiled.  "Not in the least.  I was adopted."  He grinned.  "But my father would be appalled if I hit on him since he's not broken out in any powers or skills beyond fighting.  A warrior would be beneath his way of thinking."  She smiled at the people staring at them.  "I come to blow people up for you."  They grinned at her.  "It's nice to be among people who see me for myself and not my gender."

"Up here, everyone's a soldier in some way," he assured her.

"Excellent.  Then I can get real clothes up here so my father cannot complain in my closet."  She was led into the lab and pulled out pictures, handing them to Rodney.  "Do I need to retrieve any of the ones I've already built or should I concentrate on something higher?"

"Doctor Maribalhi Desal."  She bowed.  "Are you the reason John groaned?"

"Quite.  But not all of it.  The Goddess Tea Society has decided what to do about Xander's breaking out so there's a formal dinner coming up."  She smiled.  "They're presently rearranging their men's thoughts so they decide it was their ideas."  A few scientists giggled.   "I was told I was to come blow up things for you?"

He looked at the pictures, holding up one.  "This is the least that should take out a hive."

She looked and nodded.  "So beyond three megatons?"

"Yes."

"I can do that.  Let me get them from my storage area and grab a suitcase.  I'll be back in a few hours?"

"That'd be fine," he assured her.

She beamed.  "Don't worry.  My father would never accept me flirting with anyone normal.  He'd have the rest of the herd of miniature horned cows we heard Odin was having about his grandson."  She disappeared and came back an hour later with a lot of large shipping crates and two bags thanks to her adoptive mother's niceness.  Now she was wearing green pants and a practical shirt, her hair was braided and in a bun.  "There."  She smiled at the marines.  "These are bombs for Doctor McKay's pleasure."  They nodded and called him.  He and John came out to look and plot how to get them onto a wraith hive or six.

Yeah, they could handle that.

***

Xander blinked awake, staring at the guy staring down at him.  He moaned and pushed at Clay's head.  "I'm not doing you and your consort, Clay."

Clay snickered.  "Not why I'm here.  Do you realize you're hovering about six inches off the bed?"

Xander looked down and whimpered, then flopped down with a groan.  "Ow.  But hey, wasn't the nurse this time."  He made himself sit up, getting a bit of help.  "Thanks.  Am I going to live?"

"Probably for quite a while as long as you survive John complaining that you passed out on him again."  He stared at him.  "There's been some excitement and you missed the wraith going boom when they tried to attack."

"Cool."  He blinked a few times.  "I slept through an attack?"

"They never made it that close," Clay assured him.  "What is going on between you and Jensen?"

"Um....  Oh, the honor guard stuff.  I never asked but if he's applying he's a good one to have."  He blinked a few times.  "I had some really weird ass dreams thanks to Mom."

"Probably, yeah."  He looked over as someone came in.  "Our newest chemist."

"Mari," Xander said with a nod.  "I remember you getting a PhD in blowing shit up."

"Yes, I did," she said smugly.  She stared at him.  "Did your mother invade your dreams to nag?"

"Yup."

"Good.  The banquet is in two days."  Xander grimaced.  "And you're to stay up here.  They found a few others who want you more now."

"Roque told me to come be your honor guard," Clay agreed.

She pinched him on the arm.  "You're adorable at it, Colonel."

"It's payback for me arranging their consummation," Xander said with a smug grin.

"Aww, I had heard Roque married but not who.  Congratulations."  He gave her a pointed look.  "No one can hear a word I say, Colonel."

Xander nodded.  "I felt the privacy barrier go up."

"That's fine and thank you."

"Welcome."  She pinched him again.  "Is Jensen supposed to be teaching the AI how to swear in Chinese?"

"No but that doesn't surprise me."  He called him to tell him to stop it and behave.  Then he hung up.

Xander blinked at his friend.  "So what else is new?"

"You need clothes."

"Eww."

"Yay."  She smirked.  "They're working things out for now."

"Yay," he said weakly.  "Just what I wanted."  She patted him on the foot.  "How long was I out?"

"Four damn weeks," Clay told him.

"Sorry."  He shrugged, looking around.  "The others?"

"Buffy and Joyce are finally back in their rooms.  Joyce's tumor shrank enough that they could remove the remains.  So she's on the downward side of treating it.  Buffy's puking grandly most of the day but at night she's fine.  So she's quit sleeping and changed to living like a vampire according to her."

"Leather pants?" Xander guessed.

"Yup," Mari agreed.  "She's missing them in the future."  He nodded once then laid back down, holding his head.  "We know.  You've done this two other times."  She laid a hand on his head, doing a small spell.  "That's what that is."  She told John, who went to turn off that function again.  "It gives him one too, or so he's muttering."  Xander grinned weakly at her.  "Tara and Dawn are just fine.  Dawn's a pisser."  She grinned.  "Tara's very sweet and if I liked women I'd have snatched her as a consort.  We've both spent some time in botany working on the plants for them.  Dawn as well when she's not doing John's paperwork for him."  She patted him on the foot when the beam quit broadcasting.  "How's that?"

"Nicer," he agreed.  "So can I go nap in a room?"

"Tomorrow, kid," Clay said.

"And then we'll have to get you dressed."

"I have formal stuff somewhere in a closet."

"Your father said it's out of style and date.  Plus Odin said that you'd bring shame on them for wearing leather."

"He does!"

"He's Odin, Xander."

"And I'm a protector.  I'm supposed to be wearing weapons."

"We know, dear.  We'll figure it out.  Ares has even leant you his personal tailor."  Xander gave her an odd look.  "He has."

"Uh-huh.  Am I still down and this is another funky dream?"

"No.  Sorry."  She patted him again and grinned.  "Even John has to go to the banquet.  His bosses were very unhappy."

"Yeah, I can see that point," he decided.  "They can take days."

"It has been days," she assured him.  "People are still arriving and meeting to talk up the plans going on.  Even the Polynesian and South American ones showed up this time.  The heralds are using throat spray."  Xander grinned.  "They wanted us to give them warning before you showed up because you have titles nearly everywhere."  He nodded.  "Which has caused a lot of good natured picking on Odin that he hates."  She smirked.  "Clay, you have clothes coming from Roque I'm sure."

"Why do I have to go?"

"Because you're his consort," Xander said dryly.  "It's the rules, Clay.  The same as if I bring someone, they'll expect a wedding very shortly."

"I talked to that nice doctor you're seeing and she said it was much too soon to bring her with you."  Xander nodded once.  "But she seems very nice."

"She is very nice."

Clay nodded.  "We like Doctor Lam.  She's a nice doc who only threatens a few times before sticking you with the huge needles.  She even puts up with Jensen."

Xander grinned.  "Jensen's a really nice guy."

"He's mouthy, bouncy, and loud," Clay corrected.  "Nice guy is for lesser than Spec Ops."

Xander smirked.  "No, you can be a nice guy and do things like taking out evil shits.  I have. I'm still mostly a nice guy."  He heard a squeal and braced himself, letting Dawn hug him.  "Hi, Dawnie."

"Hi, Xander.  You're awake."

"I am."  He cuddled her.  "Having fun?"

"The Marines give me looks like I'm a baby and John thinks I'm amazing because I do his paperwork."

"You need a fun day," he told her with a poke to the side.

"I keep forgetting she's only fifteen," John said as he walked in.  "Though I did tell the Marines she's only fifteen so they can't hit on her."  He stared at him.  "You're getting a lot of flack for that."

Xander shrugged.  "Not like I chose it."

"I know.  They even sent someone up to make sure it was that pantheon's power and found you broke out in two pantheon's powers."

"So I'm screwed?" Xander asked.

"Yup."  John smirked at him.  "You have to go to the banquet and be stared at.  Though Mom did say you could ignore Odin growling."

"I do a lot of the time."  Xander smiled at Carolyn when she walked over.  "Can you sedate me so I don't have to be stared at?"

"Your mother said I couldn't," she admitted, smiling at him.  "Though I'm glad I don't have to be stared at by all the scary sorts."

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to be stared at by them," Xander admitted with a grin.

"Sorry.  Your mother is very scary."  John and Xander both nodded.  She checked Xander over then left them alone.

Mari looked at Xander.  "I will see you tomorrow.  John and I are charged with making sure you're dressed appropriately."

"That one time I was just off a battle and they summoned me," Xander complained.  "It wasn't my fault."

"Odin got nagged a few times about that."  She winked and walked off.  "Ronon.  Hi."

"Hi."  She patted him on the arm as she walked past him.  He stared at her then at John.

"She's making sure she knows your energy signature in case she has to summon you or something," he said quietly.

"She has powers like the blonde, shy one?" Ronon asked.

"That's why she was adopted.  She's very strong," Xander told him.  "Who has my axe?"  John waved a hand.  "Okay.  That's cool.  I can't feel it."

"Odin tried to summon it but I stopped him."  Xander grinned.  "So anyway."  He looked at Ronon.  Then at Xander.  "He wanted to learn how to use it?"

"I have four extra in my closet but two are light axes, suitable for someone Tara's size and strength or Dawn's."  He gave her a squeeze.  "The other two are more my size."

John nodded, going to get them.  He brought them and Roque back.  "He was sorting through things on his mother's orders."

"Why is everyone against me?" Xander asked Roque.

"You had the most showy break-out ever," Roque assured him with a smug look.  "Mom wanted to make sure that Aphrodite and your mom didn't make you wear a thong."

"Wouldn't that break protocol?"

"Yup."  He handed Ronon both axes.  "Both boy axes instead of the girly ones."   He hauled Dawn off the bed, groaning when she kicked him in the stomach.  "You need to work on that."

"I'm fifteen, I have at least one more year to work on kicking boys' asses before I have to practice it in real life," she quipped.  "And I'd never date you anyway, you're big and scary.  I'd like younger, sweeter, and geeky.  That's why I've had a crush on Xander.  So is Jensen free?" she finished with a grin.

"In another year, ask again," Clay quipped back.

"Okay."  She beamed at John.  Then at Ronon.  "I noticed you guys spar.  Can I join in?  I've been taking some lessons with Tony's bodyguard."

"Yes," Ronon agreed.  "It would be good for you."  She grinned and patted Xander before leaving.  He looked at the axes, then let Xander handle one.

Xander went over the axe and how you use it.  He wasn't allowed out of bed but he could show him the basics while sitting.  Ronon got it and took them both to spar with John.  John knew something probably.  It turned out John was pretty good and it was a decent, multi-use weapon.

***

Mari showed up in a formal sari, wearing a lot of jewelry, including a piece in her hair and multiple earrings.  Xander looked up from doing his boots up.  "How do you do that and not jingle when you walk?"

"They're tight enough not to do more than rub against each other."  She shifted.  "I wish I could wear less."

"Me too."  He stood up and shifted his pants back down then pulled on his jacket, getting a nod.  "Can't I wear a vest?  Like usual?"

"No," John said as he let himself into Xander's room.  He looked at him.  "You look like the Valhallan University English Professor."

Xander looked at himself then nodded.  "Yeah I do."  He took off the jacket, grabbed his usual vest from his mother's closet and changed his shirt. "Weapons?"

"No weapons," John ordered, looking amused.  He was comfortable.  Xander looked at him and shook his head.  John changed into the shirt he had brought in and a vest.  "Better.  Thanks."

Xander stared at him.  "They've plotted something."  John smirked and nodded.  So did Mari.  "What?"

"You broke out in *two* pantheon's powers, Xander," she said.  His eye twitched.  She smirked.  "They're making you the protectorate."

"Shit!  I saw that vision."

"Yup," John agreed.  "Which would let you bring me, her, possibly Dawn.  Roque if he wanted to."

Xander nodded, sighing some.  "Yeah, I can see that.  I don't like it though."

"Yay," they said in unison.  Mari made 'tiny violins playing sad songs' motions with her fingers.  Xander swatted her for it.  She smirked back.

He huffed.  "Fine.  John, if he comes back, Ronon can help?"

"I don't think he'd mind."

"Okay."  Xander made a few quick decisions.  "Then I'm adopting Dawn into it."  They nodded, she was smiling.  "And if I can't do it my way I'll sic Mom on someone."  He walked out, going to talk to Dawn and Joyce.  Joyce let him in and stared at him, then arranged his hair.  He grinned.  "If they're doing what they plan on doing, I'm bringing Dawn into my family officially.  Which will mean any of the other scary God sorts can't get any ideas.  Nothing like Glory will ever happen again but it'd give me the right to marry her off with your permission."

Joyce considered it then nodded.  "I can see that."

Xander beamed.  "Cool."  He walked off, taking his friends and family with him.  He looked at the heralds.  They both took a long drink of water and sighed.  "Is it protocol for me first or them?"

"You first, Sire."

Xander nodded.  "Take a second one, and a mint, guys.  There's a shitload of titles if I remember right."  They did and unrolled the scroll with his name on it.  The doors opened and Xander stood in the doorway.  The heralds alternated titles so they could sip water discreetly between them.  It took nearly forty minutes to say them all.  He walked in and to the table that had his new symbol on it.  John's were read off and it was shorter by a few minutes.  Mari only had one title so she followed John to his new table.  Everyone stared at them.  Xander looked at them.  "Wasn't I supposed to sit here?"  They all nodded with a smile.  "I got told, guys.  So tell me directly?"

"After dinner," Zeus ordered.  They all nodded and dug in.  The oldest gods thought all the younger ones were arrogant little pricks and they definitely thought that about Xander and John but appreciated their services.  Xander looked over as the doors opened, standing up.

"The Key, Dawn Summers," the heralds announced together.

Dawn walked in wearing something formally correct and bowed to each of the pantheons.  "One of you had me summoned.  I thank whoever for the new dress as well."  Hera smiled at her.  She bowed to her and sat down at the new chair at Xander's table.  She looked at him.  "Don't marry me off," she hissed.

"Probably not."

"Thank you."

"Why...."

"No clue," she admitted.

"Okay.  We can do that."  They ate being as formally correct as possible.  Xander got done and settled back in his seat, sharing a look with John.  That was clearly a plot waiting to happen too.  Xander looked across the room at Roque, catching Clay's eye.  Clay kicked Roque and nodded.  Roque looked at Xander and Xander quirked an eyebrow up.  He got a subtle nod back.  Xander looked at a few others who had done the same thing.  Including Kyra.  She smirked at him.

Zeus stood up, staring around the room.  "Alexander has always protected all pantheons, no matter who was fighting with either of his natal ones.  It makes sense that it fulfills prophecies in a few different pantheon's libraries.  It will also give some of our younger protectors a second set of people to call upon for the bad things."  He looked at the oldest Gods in the room.

The oldest Gods, all chaos gods, smirked at him.  "Alexander has had a special place in our cold hearts for centuries," the oldest one said.  He stood up.  "Though we find him bouncy, loud, and occasionally annoying, he has served us all well.  He has protected some things that you wouldn't normally expect to need a guardian."  He nodded at Dawn.  She smiled back.  "We find him worthy to continue that goal.  As shown, he's shown up whenever we need him.  I'm sure he will in the future."

"As I can," Xander agreed, standing up.  "Thank you for that compliment but half of that wasn't my doing directly.  It just happened around me."

"Yes, that is why you're a son of a chaos god," another of them said with a smirk on her face.

Xander nodded.  "As you all wish, so I must comply."  They all smirked and nodded.  "As such, my new temple will need an honor guard worthy of the goals.  Franklin Clay, consort to the Godling Roque, will you answer that call?"

Clay paused then nodded.  "We will."

Xander smiled and nodded.  "I expect you to bring your consort as well?"

"I will," Roque agreed.  "Like we have before, kid."

Xander nodded.  "I'm still older than you think," he said, cracking some people up.  He looked.  "My brother John?  You've been there with a lot of the protections and you still serve to this day."

"If you want me to, I'm yours," John agreed.

Xander smiled and nodded.  "And as such, I protect you and your city."  They gasped.  He looked.  "Ladies?"  They nodded.  "Dawn, you're in a special case because of what you are."

"You're still the best big brother ever," she reminded him.  He grinned.

"I also give my allegiance to your temple of protectors," Mari said.

"I welcome you openly.  You're a great help to me at times, and now to John."  He kissed her on the head.  Then he sat down.  "The others who have helped us in the past are welcome to join us."  They smiled and nodded.

Odin looked at him.  "We still desire your allegiance, Alexander."

"You are one of my natal houses.  Of course I have allegiance for you and my mother's people, Odin."  He nodded, accepting that.  "I can even plot how to get Father to help protect people."

"It would be a good thing for him to find," Odin said.

Xander smirked.  "Sometimes you need to chaos things so they're unable to do what they want."

"It was an inspired plan when Wolfram and Hart started on you," Loki said, saluting him with his glass.

"Thank you."  He sipped his own wine, nodding.  "Nice flavor, Mother."  She beamed at him.  They went back to dinner, people making plans to align and plot against Xander's new dynasty.

***

Xander appeared when someone yelled for him.  "Dawn will be back with the ship," he told Tony Stark.

Stark smirked at him.  "God?"

"Protector.  Huge ass number of prophecies," he said, waving a hand.  "You're missing all the puking."

"That's good.  Has she said anything about that subject?"

"Joyce and she came to some sort of agreement that Joyce would get a lot of visitation because Sunnydale is really dangerous."

"Thank God," he sighed, smiling again.  "The ship's going to be a few days later than they think."

"I'll let John know.  And then I have to find a house," he muttered.  "Oh, if Mari comes back, look at her skills."  He winked and disappeared.  "All right," he said, appearing to John and those in the office.  "Tony Stark said to tell you the ship's going to be a few days late."

"We can handle that," John assured him.

"He wanted to know about Buffy and her thought process."

"How did that happen?" John asked.

"NID."

"I'm so glad they've been destroyed," John decided.  Xander grinned.  "So, are you going back soon?"

"Need me to stay?"

"No, not really," John admitted with a grin.

Xander hugged him.  "Then let me go home and find a house instead of a tiny apartment.  By now Sunnydale has to be about to explode with vamps."  He disappeared.

John shook his head.  "Xander's insane," he told the others in the meeting, getting a nod back.  "It's not hereditary.  It's from his dad."  They laughed and a few shook their heads.  "Let's make plans for the next few weeks of trading."

***

Xander appeared in Sunnydale, staring at the demons in the park.  "What?" he asked, grinning some.  "It's going to be months before Buffy's back."

"Why?" one asked.  "We've heard rumors."

"NID knocked her up."  A few of the demons whimpered.  "She's with my brother John for the next month and a half."  More whimpered.  "Oh, yeah.  So...."  He grinned.  "Do I need to do something?  Any problems?"  They shook their heads.  "Okay.  Then we'll figure things out."  He walked off.

One let out their held breath.  He went to gossip at Willie's that Xander was glowing with power.

They hoped he didn't turn into Rosenburg.

Xander walked into Willie's a bit later, staring around.  He put a card on the bar.  Willie gasped.  "I'm not Willow, people.  To me it's a natural thing."  He looked around the room.  "The Arthat prophecy, people.  Quit stressing.  If I blow up the town it'll be to save the rest of the world."  He walked off.  "Let me go talk to Giles."  They all nodded at that.

***

Pooch looked at Clay, who had finally told them what had happened with the dinner thing he had to go to.  "So what does an honor guard do?"

"A lot of protocol stuff," Jensen said.  "Basically if he has to do formal stuff and needs an honor guard, we're on for that.  Most of the time, we're just guys who Xander can spar with whenever he needs to and get nagged by."  He tossed over a book.  "I had someone send it to me a few months back because I was going to offer if we didn't stay military."

"So most of the time it's like being formal Mounties but we don't have to door guard a consulate?" Pooch asked, flipping through the book.  "What language is this in?"

"Sorry.  I can translate it for you."  Jensen grinned.  "It's a bit less involved than that.  Think of it like being fancy-named bodyguards."  That got a nod from Clay and Cougar.   "Plus we'd have all the temple, however and wherever he sets it up, to roam and practice in.  We'd get to spar with him and whoever was there.  We'd get to basically hang out and help with whatever he was dealing with if we could."  He grinned at Clay.  "Did he get presents?"

"A few presented him with boxes but he didn't open them there."

"That's cool.  I wonder if he's putting the temple up in Sunnydale."  He called John to ask that, getting back a choked snort of laughter.  He hung up.  "John's laughing at that question."

"We'd have to see if Sunnydale survived having him back," Pooch said.

"They should.  They have plenty of energy there.  Xander told me that his father showed up to nag and got stuck recently.  It took a few days to clear that energy."

John walked in and looked at the team.  "Being an honor guard is basically being his formal bodyguards and the rest of the time you can give ideas on things people are asking about."  They nodded at that.  He looked at Jensen.  "No, it's not going up in Sunnydale.  Because they'd get pissed when it gets destroyed in a few years.  He had a vision earlier about Sunnydale sinking."  He grinned.  "Ares gifted him with a war puppy."

"Awww," Jensen said with a grin.  "That's a wonderful gift!  How trained?"

"Just barely.  He said it was too keep Xander out of his usual level of mischief and trouble.  Apparently it's trained to growl at the sort he'd date.  Xander told him about Carolyn but the war puppy might not growl at her."  He smirked.  "He's trying to decide which area to put it in but he hasn't decided yet.  He came up to tell Buffy about that vision and how calm Sunnydale was at the moment.  Apparently the cops were staking some of the vamps for them."  He shrugged.  "Also, Rodney said your email is bouncing."

"Oops.  Must've been a big file from Jess."  He got into his email to look it over, finding one strange one.  "Why did I get one from General Coleman?"

"Is it team news or him begging you for help?" Clay asked.

Jensen got into it, tipping his head to the side.  "Team news.  The army wants us back."  He let Clay have it.  John smirked.  "Huh."

Clay grimaced and handed it on.  John got it too since it was ordering them reactivated for a mission.  "Let me tell O'Neill," John said, walking off.

"We'll see what happens now," Clay said.  The others nodded.

***

Jack O'Neill walked into the other general's office and tapped once before walking into the inner office.  "Coleman, I have the team you tried to reactivate."

"Excuse me?"

"Colonel Clay's team?  The Losers?  They're on my special project saving asses right now."

"They're not Air Force," he snorted.  "You guys get in over your head?"

"No, actually they're saving Marines most of the time."  The general glared.  O'Neill stared back.  "My project has direct presidential oversight.  After that screwed up mess you sent them into, they got handed to SHIELD, who handed them to my project and they're a great asset to it.  We love those guys.  They've given us names of others who can handle the fucked-up shit we do daily so we can recruit them too."

"They're still in my Army.  They're mine to command, not yours."

"Yeah, well, you sent them to die for a weapons dealer.  Listed them as dead, KIA actually, and called them traitors for trying to save a bunch of kids that Max was going to kill too."  Jack smirked.  "When all that got cleared up, you guys didn't want to fix your mistakes.  And by the way, the president knows.  Everyone knows all the way to the press corps officers who had to make some nice statements saying we were wrong.  Including the Secretary of Defense and the Joint Chiefs.

"They approved the move to my project.  So if you want them back, talk to the higher ups, not Jensen's email.  Because even if they agree with you it'd take them three weeks to get back here."  He walked off to pull the records on how effective Clay's team had been in Pegasus.  John had updated their files in case they had to be moved, which was an excellent bit of help.  Within an hour, he had been called to the Joint Chief's briefing room.  He handed them the folder.  "Their stats where they presently are serving."

The head of the Army gave him a dirty look.  "Why weren't we informed, O'Neill?"

"You were informed.  Your signature's on the transfer to SHIELD orders."  He looked and moaned.  "Same team, yeah."  He looked at his top general.  "They're doing fantastic work and the guys try to bribe them to get them first."  That general smirked.  "Plus they love it up there.  Not too many jungles and a lot of things that need to be handled."

"I've heard some interesting rumors from my aide, Jack," he said.

"About...."

"Their missing team member?"

"Someone held a marriage counseling session," he said dryly.  "And fixed that but he's not been reinstated and has not asked me to join them.  They have talked a few times however."

"Huh.  Marriage counseling?"

"It's what every good team needs," the head of the Marines agreed.  "That's what we call team counseling."

"I picked it up from some of ours," Jack agreed.

"What are you doing that needs Marines?" Coleman demanded.

Jack gave him an odd look.  "You don't have the classified rating to tell you, General Coleman.  The only reason they know is because they have to help with staffing and supplies."

The head of the army nodded.  "The names Colonel Clay gave you are ones that are a lot like him and would probably do good up there, O'Neill.  I'll talk to them about that later this month."  Jack smiled.  "Is it getting any easier?"

"No.  Things just went to the crapper weeks ago.  We're seriously at an end stage of leave and come back to home base or doing something very bad to those attacking us."

"Is there a way to wipe out the wraith?" the head of the Air Force asked.

Jack shrugged.  "They tried a biological.  One of the allies was trying it and used some of our research to help it along."

"I saw that report.  How much did it knock the wraith down?"

"Thirty, maybe forty percent according to Sheppard.  But it caught humans too."

"Point.  Nuclear?"

"Has been done," Jack admitted with a smirk.  "We have a very nice chemist now who said her PhD is in blowing shit up."

"I know her," the head Marine said, laughing and shaking his head.  "Mari would bring a lot of life to your base."

"Yes she does, sir.  We all appreciate her. And all the others who've stepped a bit closer into the light who're like her."  The head guy stared at him.  "We've talked to Xander on a few occasions as well.  If I could recruit that guy, I would."

"I get that," he agreed.  They shared the file around.  He finally got it and nodded.  "They've done excellent work up there, O'Neill.  I'm glad Fury talked us into it."

"The guys adore having a personal rescue service.  The other teams could use the same.  Even if we bring them back, the main group could still use the same thing."

"Agreed," the head of the Air Force said.  "Because your reports give me headaches and the president too."  Jack smirked.  "What about scientific things?"

"We've done what we can on that level, sir, but with what was going on it sometimes fell by the wayside.  Even though Jackson and Carter threw fits about it at times and went behind Hammond's back at times too."

"Good for them," he said.  "Anything else you want to tell us?"

Jack shrugged.  "I have no idea, sir."

"Fine."  They considered it.

"Coleman, you can't have them back," the head of the Army said.  That general glared at him.  "You treated them poorly, you used them for plans that aided an international weapons dealer and psychotic fuck.  They're O'Neill's toys now."  Jack nodded at that.  "Jack, how much of an option is leaving the city?  Coleman, dismissed."

"Sir, if we have to leave the area, we're bringing the city back."

They shared a look and nodded.  "Do one last strike to weaken them as far as you can," the head of the Marines decided.  "Then bring her home.  They can keep doing insane shit on your base."  Jack nodded, saluted, and left.  They discussed what to do with Atlantis when it got back but for right now they needed it in case the wraith found them.

***

John had watched the message in private so he wasn't as shocked when the General's video orders were shown to everyone else.  He stared at them.  "We are keeping the city, people.  We're not evacuating."  They sighed.  "So...."

Mari stood up.  "Which method did they want us to use, Sheppard?  Biological, chemical, or just plain explosions?"

"Not stated," he told her.  She grinned.  "So we need to pinpoint some of them."

"If we can set a trap with a wraith worshiping cult," Clay said.  "That could bring some."  He shifted in his seat.  "Have some summon for a culling and then kill the worshipers, set up for the ambush."

John nodded.  "I like that idea, though it's a bit dangerous."

"We have plenty of dead worlds.  Use one to lure them with promises of a hidden city.  They used ancient tech and it failed after you guys visited?"

John nodded.  "We can do that.  And there's plenty of ruins of cities we can use."  He looked at Ronon.  Who nodded.  Then back at Clay.  "Get me a full plan for that option, Colonel."  Clay nodded.  "Rodney, I want to pinpoint where most of the hives are."

"Is there a way to ping through a space gate?" Jensen asked Rodney, who looked confused.  "Like x-ray ping for a specific metal?  Sonar sort of ping?"

"Not that I'm aware of but I can see if it's a viable idea.  Plus get us prepared to go home."  John nodded.  "We'll still be short on power."

"If we have to during the flight home, we'll shrink everyone back into the gateroom or something," John said.  "Only shield that building."  Rodney nodded that might have to happen.  "Work on that with Carter if you can."

"I'll try."  He got up and walked off, his people with him.  "Jensen, heel," he said with a snap.  Jensen got up and hurried after him.  Clay was smirking.

"By the way, Colonel," John said with a smirk of his own.  "General Coleman was told that he played badly with his toys and they were staying O'Neill's, even if we get home."

Clay smirked evilly.  "Does that mean we'll get to have the priestesses there hit on us instead?"

"Yup, sure does."  Pooch moaned, shaking his head.  "Dismissed, people.  Change your priority list to updated field goals so we can see what's really important."  They nodded and left.  He stopped Teyla, staring at her.

"I should stay," she said quietly.

"That is fully up to you.  You wouldn't be the first alien we'd brought home."  He grinned.  "His name was Teal'c and he worked with General O'Neill's team.  Still does on occasion."

"I will think on it."  He nodded.  She left to talk to her remaining people.

Ronon looked over from his seat and shrugged.  "I don't know," he admitted once everyone else was gone.  "I need to keep killing the wraith."  John nodded, moving closer to sit near him.  "But I don't think I can go back to doing it like I did as a runner."

"You're welcome too, you know that."

"I know."

"There's other bad species out there.  They may not eat us, but they're still bad.  Earth is fighting against ones who kill people that don't switch to their religion.  They've decimated a whole lot of planets that way."

"I've heard."  He grimaced.  "I'm still torn."

"I understand.  You kill them because they killed your people.  Before we go, we're taking out as many wraith as possible.  I don't want to leave a single one alive either.  They might show up and try to eat Jensen's sister, who sends him all that candy."  Ronon snickered, shaking his head.  "Or Xander might have to step in to help us."

"Can he?"

"He would if I asked but he's still getting a handle on his new powers.  Before, he just jumped in with his axe and started to whack at people."

"Sometimes that's what a battle takes," Ronon agreed.  John nodded.  "Let us see how many we can kill first and then I'll decide."

"Okay."  John got up.  "If you need to talk, my office is open.  And my desk is refreshingly clear since Dawn did all the paperwork."  He grinned.

Ronon chuckled.  "I like the mouthy thing.  She's cute but young."

"You know, you're only ten years older than she is, Ronon."  He walked off.

"Living here, that's a great span," he told himself.  He went to check on the mouthy thing.  She was fussing at her sister today instead of doing anyone's paperwork.  Buffy was still feeling sickly so he told her to talk to Teyla.  She had her son recently and could help her with that.  Buffy and Teyla had bonded anyway because of the female warrior thing they had going.  Dawn grinned at him for it.  Then she punched him on the arm before walking off.  He gave her back a confused look.

Buffy grinned.  "Dawn's a good girl."

"All girls should be good girls," Ronon told her.  "Until they find the right man to change that."  Buffy cackled as she strolled off.  Ronon didn't know why that was funny but it was probably an earth thing.

***

Xander appeared before Ares, staring at him.  The puppy he had been given was in his arms, lapping his ear for him.  "Hey."

Ares looked at him.  "You'll break his training."

"He just ate a vamp trying to break into my apartment."  Ares snickered, shaking his head.  "He's a good boy for that.  This is his treat.  He thinks my ear is tasty."  He grinned.  "So, Tyr said he can't teach me anything."

Ares smirked.  "I can beat Tyr in a good fight."

"I know that.  That's why I'm here.  I have until Buffy gets back or the next apocalypse to up my skills."

Ares nodded.  "It would be good to train.  Your eye?"

"I've learned how to compensate and I still have my battle senses."

"Even better.  Put the mutt down."  Xander did that and they went to Ares' personal sparring room together.  "What of the Key?"

"Dawn?  She's been taking some lessons while she's been working with Pepper.   She's taken more up there."

"Good for her."

"I thought so.  Especially since Buffy didn't like it."

Ares nodded.  "That happens sometimes.  How is she?"

"Pregnant," Xander said with a shudder.  "I'm so glad we're missing mood swinging slayers."

"I would be too," Ares agreed.  He took off his vest.  Xander took off his t-shirt, and Ares attacked.  The kid wasn't a stand and fight sort of fighter but his weapon skills were good.  Hand-to-hand, not as much.  He could definitely help him there.  And teach him to fight against women by wearing Discord out too.  "Why didn't you come to me earlier?"

"You were busy, I was busy," Xander quipped with an evil smirk.  "Always another battle going on."

"That's true, you've done more than your fair share."  He attacked again once the kid had a few drinks of water.  They were both sweating but the kid needed it.  "What about John?"

"John's been taking lessons up there from a native who had a two-stick method and another really good fighter."

"Wonderful."  They kept going until Discord strolled in.

"Hmm, sweaty boys," she said with an evil smirk.

"Sorry, I'm dating," Xander quipped.  "Not this trip, Discord."

"Fine."  She waved a hand.  Xander got showered with a bucket of cold water.

"Damn it!" he shouted, sending it at her.  She shrieked.  Wet leather, yuck.

Ares burst out cackling.  "You need to learn how to use the new powers too, kid."

"Yeah, I've been practicing hitting running targets with vamps."

"There's more to it than that."  Ares went over power flows and how to create various weapons, including fireballs and shields.  Xander could spend a few days learning from them and it'd be good for everyone.

***

John found himself in an end-time battle with the wraith.  It was going to be this hive's wraith or him and his people.  Which he hated.  Something had gotten fucked up somewhere and the wraith had found out they were going to ambush them.  He hated to do it but he needed a new tactic and heavier weapons.  He sent a silent burst of 'help me' at Xander.  Two minutes and nothing.  Maybe they were too far away?  Another five minutes of firing and one guy got shot in the leg.

And then suddenly there was light and sound and heat.  John blinked back the tears the heat wave was creating, staring at the thing creating it.  The light finally dimmed and Xander blinked a few times.  "Wow, I didn't know I could do that."  Then he passed out.

John let out a hysterical laugh.  "Okay, looking a bit familiar now."

NC-17 Clay/Roque

7: Old Ones' Mates and Mothers

Some 'ship work for Roque/Clay and Xander starts to get more serious about Carolyn, no matter what his mother does.  NC-17 Clay/Roque.

The soldiers nodded at John's understatement, one checking Xander while they made sure all the wraith were gone.  The other groups reported all their wraith had vanished in a bright, warm light that made them all get suntans.  Evan Lorne had a radiation meter but it wasn't registering anything except next to Xander.  They got him loaded into a jumper with the other injured ones and took him back to the city.

"Again?" Keller demanded when she spotted him.

"He destroyed all the wraith on the planet, Doc," Jensen chided with a scowl.  "It was probably his first major power surge."  He helped transfer Xander onto a gurney and followed.  "And hey, no axe this time."

"Did he use something nuclear?" Keller asked.  "He's glowing."

Jensen shrugged.  "We didn't see any radiation.  Ask McKay?"  She glared at him.  "Not like I'm like him."  She huffed and let Carolyn Lam have them.  Jensen shrugged.  "He appeared in a bright flash, which ate the wraith, then passed out, Doc.  Not even his axe this time."

"Interesting.  I'm not reading any radiation."  She rescanned him.  "Looks like exhaustion."  A tall, bearded, dark haired man in leather pants and no shirt showed up holding a dog.  The dog wiggled and barked until it leapt onto Xander's bed and settled down on his chest.  She looked at the new guy, scanning him too.  "Huh.  The Ancient scanners read you as a God, Ares."

"I am a god," he said smugly.  "It's nice they realized that too.  What happened?" he asked John.  "We were sparring and then suddenly he yelped you needed help and disappeared."

"He showed up in a really bright, warm light that killed all the wraith," John said.  "You can scan my memories, Lord Ares."

Ares did then nodded.  "I taught him that yesterday as a way to be imposing and make a grand entrance.  Interesting usage."   He looked at the doctor still scanning him.  He smirked.  "You're the one he's dating."

"I am."

"That's Hellion," he said with a point at the dog.  "He's his war puppy.  Don't break his training."  He disappeared.

"Xander said Hellion's the best present he got," John quipped with a grin.

"Like his axe, you can walk his dog until he gets up," Carolyn quipped back with a smile.  John laughed but nodded.  "He's less exhausted this time.  It should only be a few days."

"Okay.  We can handle that but I'm so yelling at him for passing out at my feet again."

"Yes you can," she said, patting him on the arm to check on the other injuries.  "How many wraith, Sheppard?"

"That whole hive that landed as far as we could tell."  He tried his radio.  "Clay's still there?" he called.

"Yeah, they're reconning the hive," Evan called back from across the infirmary.  "Jensen thinks he can slip a computer virus into their systems so the next one who gets it can pass it to other hives."  Jensen slipped out to join his team again.

"Decent."  He relaxed.  Hellion looked at him and whimpered.  "It's all right, little guy.  Xander's just napping."  He let the dog sniff him then petted him.  But he wouldn't allow himself to be gotten off his human's bed.  "Want to go outside?" he offered.  "Maybe some dinner?"  The dog sniffed Xander.  John stroked over Xander's hair, getting a moan.  "Tell your dog to let me walk and feed him, Xander.  Then you can nap."  Xander mumbled something, getting doggy kisses.  John smiled, letting the dog be petted by the tired being before being pushed away.  "C'mon, Hellion, let's visit outside and then food."  The dog lapped the human again and leapt down, sniffing everyone as he walked beside this human packmate.

"Why do we have a dog?" one of the soldiers demanded.

"He's Xander's puppy of war," John quipped.  "He's passed out after killing all the wraith."

"Did he change his axe into a dog?" the soldier moaned.

John looked at him, shaking his head.  "No.  His axe is still with him.  Hellion was a present from my father's people."  He walked him outside.  Hellion got real excited at the trees and went to mark one without having to be told to.  He marked a few more then they went inside to get some dinner.  The cooks stared over the line at the bark, giving John an odd look.  "He's Xander's puppy of war."

They just nodded and gave the dog some meatloaf they had leftover in the fridge.  The dog adored that and sat down beside John to inhale it without doing much chewing.

Ronon walked in and stared at the dog.  "Hunting hound?"

"War god's puppy."

"Ah."  He nodded and sat down, letting the dog stare at him before sniffing him.  "You're going to be very tough when you finish growing, dog."  It lapped his hand then went back to dinner, watching what the big human did.  Ronon was watching him back, that's why he missed Dawn coming in and squealing loudly.  Ronon flinched.  The dog flinched and bayed, bristling up as he studied who had just given the war cry.

"Awww!  Don't be scared of me," Dawn cooed, going to her knees next to the dog.  "I'm Dawnie.  You must be Hellion, Xander's puppy."  She let it sniff her hand, getting odd looks.  She grinned.  "I'm like your human's little sister so I'm your aunt.  Get used to me."

"I think he thought it was a war cry," John joked, grinning at them.  Dawn swatted him on the leg and got back to petting the beast.

Buffy waddled in.  "Dawn, why are you on the floor?" she complained.  "You're getting all dirty."  She saw the dog and paused.  "We have dogs up here?"

"Xander's," Dawn and John told her.

She just nodded.  "The vampires must love it."  She got her own dinner and came over to sit down.  She had to move the dog's head when it came to sniff her.  "That's not for puppies," she said firmly.  Dawn pulled him away gently and stole some of John's hamburger for him.

"Hey," John complained.  "Feed him yours, Dawn."  She went to get her dinner, the cooks giving her another plate of the cold meatloaf for the dog.  By the time she got back, Clay was walking in to give a report.

"Where did you get twinkies?" Buffy asked, nearly drooling at his snack.

"The ammo fairy dropped it off with a new laser sight for someone's birthday," Clay quipped with a grin.

"He spoiled Cougar with a laser sight and twinkies?" John asked with a grin.

"No, the twinkies are for Jensen because Roque's an asshole," he admitted.  "He wanted to see him go on another sugar rush."

"Please not tonight," Evan said as he walked in.  "Any left?"

"Lots of piles of dust.  Two really ancient ones that we ended with mercy because they were too weak to fight anyway.  Jensen uploaded that virus into their system so any other hive that gets into it to see what happened, they'll get whammied too he said.  He's calling it wraith drive flu."

John grinned.  "That's fine.  Any other cheery news?"

Clay looked at the staring dog.  "I heard he got one of Ares' puppies."  John nodded.  The dog sniffed him then Buffy.  "No, she's not carrying my litter, dog.  Leave the scary pregnant slayer alone."  Dawn called and the dog came back.  "Roque said to remind Xander that he had to pay the rent too.  He went to ask him something and found the landlord looking.  So he owes Roque."

"That's fine.  I'm wondering what he's doing since the store was burned down," John said.

Buffy sniffled.  "They couldn't save it?"  John shook his head.  "Giles has to be really upset."

"I emailed the team in LA to tell him you're okay," Dawn said with a slight smile.  "That way Giles doesn't have to admit computers exist again."

"Okay."  She dug in, eating quietly.

Clay and John shared a look and a smirk.  "How long is he down for this time?" Clay asked.

"Doctor Lam said a few days.  No axe though."

"Jensen will be heartbroken he can't babysit it," Clay snorted.  He went to get his own dinner and bring it to the infirmary since he knew he had to appear for post-battle medical after his report.  He looked back at the sound of clicking claws, staring at the dog.  "Fine.  You can come stare at your human or whatever."

"Why do we have a dog?" someone shouted.

"It's Xander's!" Clay shouted back.  "Touch it and he'll bring the axe too!"  That person squeaked and fled.  Clay walked in nibbling on the pasta dish for dinner.  He sat on a bed, letting Peter check him over.  "Sheppard's in the mess.  Dog's behind you, Jennings."

Peter smiled at the dog.  "I heard Ares had given him a puppy from his last bitch's batch.  Go ahead, Hellion.  You can snuggle him."  The dog hopped up and snuggled in with the human.  Xander moaned but petted him.  Peter got back to checking Clay over.  "Well, you seem fine."

"I'm fine," he agreed.  "Everyone else was?"  Peter nodded.  Clay sniffed, looking around.  "What's that smell?"  Cougar looked at him, giving him a dirty look.  "What?"  Cougar said something in Spanish.  "No fucking way," he muttered.  "There's no females on the city."  Cougar shrugged.

"Boys?" Peter asked patiently.

"Someone's in heat," Clay said, staring at him.

He considered it.  "There's no female yellow furs up here though."  Clay nodded.  "That could be bad.  Is the scent driving you to distraction yet?"

"No, I don't want to pounce whoever," Clay said.  Cougar shook his head and let out a small shudder.  He tapped his earpiece twice.  "Evan Lorne."  Evan answered.  "We have a female yellow fur in heat on the base, Major."  Evan said that wasn't possible.  "I can smell her by the infirmary.  Is it something we can fight?" Clay asked him.  Peter shook his head.  "No, Doctor Jennings said you can't fight the urge."

"No, you can't," Jensen said from his bed, typing on his computer.  "It's a biological imperative to get the one in heat, and most of the time yellow furs won't fight about it.  Unless they're aggressive alphas fighting for their pack's rights."  He looked over.  Then looked at Carolyn Lam.

"It's not me," she assured him.

"She's been near you though.  Your scent has hers on it."

She sniffed her jacket then looked at it.  She took it off.  "Oh, dear.  That's Keller's jacket.  Colonel?"  He sniffed and nodded.   "Let me...go shower off that scent, boys.  Have the other Colonel confine her.  I have no idea what she did."  She hurried off.  She did not want to be pounced by either pack of yellow furs.

Jensen looked at Peter.  "Do birth control shots work on them like they do on us?"

"Yes, thank the Gods," he muttered, going to find one and make sure Doctor Keller took it.

Clay hung up and finished his dinner.  "Report to the mess, Losers, then to our quarters.  No one is to go after her unless you absolutely can't help yourself.  You know the only pack bitch we have is Jolene and she'll rip us to shreds."  They grinned and Pooch nodded he was right, his wife would rip him a new one.  They got their dinners and went to hide from the female in heat.

***

Evan hung up and looked at Sheppard.  "Somehow Keller is scented like a yellow fur in heat," he said calmly.  John dropped his fork, staring at him.  "Colonel Clay found it."

"It's biological.  You can try to fight it, Evan, but you won't get too far," he said quietly.  "Your team is on downtime until we can get her slotted somewhere else.  Out of scent range."  Evan nodded, getting his team to warn them.

Dawn looked at him.  "I say we send her to them.  We're not sure why she's scented like one or if she's even changed once."

John winced.  "I'm going to have a foot up her ass talk with her if she did that to herself."  He got up and went to find her.  There was scientific discovery and there was blatant stupidity.  "Doctor Keller," he said when he spotted her, walking her off by her elbow.  "Come have a discussion with me."

"But...  I'm needed in the infirmary.  Doctor Jennings said so."

"He can join us."  He told him to do that.  They met at John's office and he shut them in to find out what had happened.  Keller claimed she had an accident with a used needle.  John wasn't sure if he was buying it or not but Peter gave her some hard truths that had her looking pretty shaky.  So John did what he had to do and sent her on a field mission.   With Ronon.  He'd be able to protect her most likely.  They hoped.  Ronon got told why and nodded at that knowledge.  No one wanted to see Evan and Clay's teams fight for dominance of the new bitch.  They'd end up losing both teams.  John sent a message back to Jack O'Neill and then went to talk to Carolyn Lam.  She was in charge.  She was winding her wet hair up as she walked back to the infirmary.  "Doc?"

"I heard.  I was wearing her jacket.  That's why Clay scented it."  She fastened the last bobby pin and looked at him.  "I'd hate to be in her shoes, John."

"I'm sending her and Ronon off on a mission."

"That's fine."  She smiled.  "Clay ordered his people confined to quarters."

"Evan's too."  They shared a look.  "Ronon can make her change too, get her past that psychotic time."  She nodded.  "How's Xander?" he asked more quietly.

"Much more awake.  Not as bad of a headache I think.  He was petting his puppy while asleep when I went to take a shower."

John smiled.  "If we need to guard people, we will, Doc."  She nodded and they went to check on Xander together.  Xander was curled around his dog.  Carolyn petted them both on the head and let John hover for a bit.

John stared at Xander.  "You really need to quit passing out at my feet, baby brother.  Before I start taking out the reasons for it."  He petted the dog.  "Want to use a tree?"  The dog snuggled in.  "Fine.  Go outside when you need to."  He left, going to put someone on dog detail in case he couldn't get there.  Or Dawn couldn't.  Buffy was still pouting in the mess.  "You get to go home in another two weeks."

"I'm not sure if I'm mad or not."

"I know.  The city's amazing and no one really wants to leave it."  She nodded he was right.  "But back on earth they have specialists for the birth, who'll have better drugs than we do up here."

"That'd be nice, yeah."  She ate another bite.  "I really don't want to face him down, ya know?"

"Yeah but it was done with a needle and he knows that."

"But the night before we had funsies."

He patted her on the shoulder.  "It'll be fine, Buffy.  I promise it'll be fine."  She nodded, eating another bite of jell-o.  He got himself some coffee and went back to his office to make sure things were going to go all right on his city.  The extra people were very helpful.  Buffy had taught Ronon more about axes, swords, and staff fighting.  She and Teyla created a training regime for the Athosian girls who wanted to learn how to fight.

Dawn had done all his paperwork and some ahead.  He only had to fill in a few parts.  He could even copy it and just change dates and things.  She had even organized his files on him.  She was the quiet wonder assistant sort.  Joyce had mothered a lot of the soldiers who were missing their own.  So had Tara.  The guys respected them and didn't even try to flirt with Tara.  Or Joyce.  They had both blushed and the guys had treated them like proper ladies.  Though Joyce did hit a few with a pillow for being too uptight.

It had been great having them.  But they had to go home soon.  Before Buffy's child had dual-galaxy citizenship.

***

Pepper walked up to Tony and took his bottle of iced tea from him.  "She's going to be just as upset seeing you again," she said bluntly.

He grinned.  "I'm not upset."

"No, but you're not exactly calm either.  Dawn's last email said she was worrying about that and Buffy had nearly cried at the passport joke the captain used."  He nodded at that.  "Right now she's worried, Tony."

"I understand that.  Did you tell Dawn that we'd like custody?"

"I did and she said that Buffy agreed to all that but she wasn't wearing ugly maternity clothes."

"Some of them are pretty bad," he agreed.  "Xander?  I haven't seen him recently."

"There.  He killed a bunch of wraith."  He just shook his head.  "With his present from Ares."  He grinned, they had been sent pictures of the dog.  "He'll be back soon I'm sure.  Just calm down.  It'll be a little over a week before she's back."

"I know.  Thank you."

She handed back the bottle of iced tea.  "You're welcome," she said with a smile.  "And you have a nanny as of when she delivers."  She walked off after leaving that file on his desk.

He read it over.  Former National Guard service to get through college, doctorate in early childhood education, recently divorced, her husband won custody because she had left him due to his problems.  That sounded strange.  He called Pepper back in to ask her to fill in the glaring stop signs in her file.  She told him what she had learned and it was better, though Tony would be watching her a lot.

Not just anyone could be trusted to raise his future spawn after all.  They had to wear the suit some year.

***

Buffy got led off the ship and smiled at the people there.  "We're back.  And the woods smell worse than they do there."

Jack O'Neill laughed.  "It's all the exhaust fumes, Buffy.  How are you feeling?"

"Fat."

"I've heard that happens."  She nodded, shaking his hand.  "Your town has been extremely quiet."

"Why?"

"They're worried."  She nodded she understood that.  "Xander got yelled at for visiting Faith after hours.  He didn't get caught but she mentioned it to someone who yelled at him.  So he's pouty today too."

"That's fine."  She walked beside him, smiling at Pepper.  "I'm sorry you had to wait so long.  I really had to go," she said more quietly.

"Of course you did.  The baby's sitting right on your bladder, Buffy.  Thank you, General."

"Welcome, Pepper.  John sent back a request to steal Dawn if you didn't want to keep her."  He grinned as he walked back to the ship, letting it bring him back to the SGC.

Pepper looked at Buffy.  "C'mon.  We have a hotel room tonight and then we'll talk tomorrow."

"Can we... maybe get the hard stuff out of the way?  I don't want to have nightmares all night because I'm nervous."

"I can understand that.  Tony's been pacing all day."  She led her to the car and got her inside and to the hotel.  She got her checked in and led her up to Tony's suite.  "Here, we'll let him tell you you're not fat.  I coached him very well."  Buffy beamed at her for that.  Even though Buffy looked like she had eaten an inflated beach ball, no one was going to tell the petite young woman that.  She knocked and let them in.  "Tony."

"Buffy," he said, standing up with a grin.  "How are you feeling?"

"Fat and like I'll waddle forever."  She sat down with a sigh.  "I don't see how bigger women do it."

"Remember, it goes away again in a few months," Pepper assured her with a grin.

"I hope so.  I need to get back into slayer shape."  She looked at Tony.  "Sunnydale is dangerous."

"It is," he agreed.

"So is being you though."

"I have a nanny set up who has former military experience.  We'll be drilling emergency procedures into her."  Buffy relaxed.  "I don't want him or her to be hurt any more than you do."

"Her," Buffy corrected, patting her stomach.  "Even though it looks like triplets it's just one girl in there and a whole lot of water."

Tony smiled.  "She'll drive me nuts."

"Yeah, I think that's the purpose of all teenage girls.  Dawn does it to me too," she quipped with a grin.  "Isn't she back yet?"

"She's getting your mom settled in the apartment in LA," Tony told her.  Buffy relaxed and nodded with a smile, then grimaced and struggled to get up.  He helped her and watched her head for the bathroom.  He pointed.  Pepper nodded quickly.  "The books mentioned that," he admitted.  Pepper grinned and handed him some ice water.  Buffy came out making sure her hands were dry.  "So," he said, taking a sip.

Buffy grinned.  "It's an experience I wouldn't have had an opportunity to have otherwise," she admitted.  "But I can't see how or why women have more than one."  He grinned, nodding at that.  "Do we have a doctor we like in LA?"

"Two or three," he admitted.  "I haven't even thought about hiring one for you because that's a personal choice."  She nodded.  "Nick Fury said to tell you to rest.  The town's been uneasy but anxious because they're not sure Xander won't go down Willow's path.  Even when he pointed out he'd only blow up the town to save everyone."

"I can see him doing that.  There's been a few times I wondered why he didn't during graduation's battle."  She accepted the ice water.  "Thanks, Miss Potts."

"It's not a problem, Buffy."  She sat down.  "Do you need anything right now?"

"A new spleen.  She keeps kicking mine."  She looked down.  "Do you mind?  I know it's the daddy person but don't show off?"  Tony reached over and laid a careful hand on her stomach, making her blush.  The baby kicked him and he beamed at Pepper.  "Trade ya," she offered to Pepper.

"No, I'd make a horrible mother," she said with a smile.  "I'm much too busy most of the time."  Buffy nodded she understood that.  "Let's let you rest.  You order dinner in tonight, we've got it covered, and we'll go over the custody agreement tomorrow?"

"I could use a nap," Buffy admitted with a smile for Tony.  "She's exhausting."

"I'm sure all that growing she's doing is."  Buffy grinned and let Pepper take her to her room.  Tony relaxed and sipped his water, wishing it was something harder.  He hoped his father didn't hear about this in whatever afterlife he was in.  He'd laugh his butt off if he had and Tony didn't need laughed at today.  Pepper came back.  "She settled in?"

"Yup.  Settled in for a nap.  Dawn made sure Buffy's room at her mother's was ready for her and got a mattress topper to help her sleep better.  It's a bit more firm."  She sat down.  "So, a daughter."

"A future fashion plate I'll have to shoo boys off of," he agreed dryly.  "Guys just like me only more stupid."

She smiled.  "Definitely."  He mock-glared but she smiled.  "I'm sure you can start on self-defense from men like you very early."

"Yup," he agreed, finishing his water.  "She'll probably need it.  Buffy's pretty, I'm handsome, so the baby's going to at least be cute."  She pinched him on the arm.  "Did you get that dossier on the chemist John wanted me to look at when she came back?"

"I did."  She handed it over from the coffee table.  "I like how she said her PhD is in blowing things up."

He read it, nodding.  "She sounds like Xander."

"She's adopted but a powerful witch," Pepper said.  He nodded at that.  "She's been able to do some dual-powered things and has been helping McKay."

"I like that idea."  He put it aside.  "After she's done on the city and is free, let me know so I can go charm her with ideas of putting out bigger things."

"We can do that."  She smiled and handed him another one.  "New guard."

He read it, grimacing.  "Why?"

"To put on Dawn.  Howdy got information from Rhodey that someone else wants to own Dawn in that bad way."

Tony looked at her.  "Why would I trust him with her?  With his records?"

She shrugged.  "He picked him.  He wanted your permission."

"I'll talk to him," he said, moving to the desk to call his personal guard.   Something was weird about that.

***

Roque reappeared on Atlantis.  He was getting a lot of intergalactic frequent flier miles this year.  He stared at the AI that came out.  "My consort is here."

"I know that.  I have witnessed you visiting him in the past, DemiGod Roque."  Roque nodded.  "I will not harm you unless you do harm to my people."

"I respect the hell out of John.  He's a lot like Xander and I learned to respect them both."

She considered her history.  "He is the DemiGod Jonathan?"  Roque nodded.  "I had thought him as such but it was not a faulty program."  She smiled.  "That would mean the young one that visits him is Alexander."

"Yes."

"Interesting.  They have many interesting battles they have been in, even against your people."

"That's why there was almost an alignment marriage," Roque said dryly with a smirk.  "But we're cool?  I won't hurt your people this time.  Not unless they're being evil shits and trying to hurt my people or those I protect."

"I can agree to a truce with you.  It is important to stay connected with a consort."  She smiled.  "Is it a recent matter?  He was not infected with your power when he first showed up."

He nodded.  "After he got bitten.  Xander did it to us."  She beamed at him.  "Thank you."

"The young need to be protected.  Especially the young fireling on your team.  He does get into so much trouble."

"My team is now Xander's honor guards."

"I noticed the extra energy around him during this last trip to my infirmary."  She beamed.  "Will we see him taking a consort?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  They're just dating according to her."

She tipped her head to the side.  "Carolyn Lam is a sweet woman but Alexander needs someone who is stronger and immortal.  She is not."

"He's got a golden apple."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "That garden world is very nicely planted."  She smiled at him.  "Your consort is alone in his room and is starting on another nightmare about Bolivia.  You should attend to him, Roque.  It is a consort's duty."

"I wanted to get this worked out first," he told her.  He shadow shifted into Clay's room, stripping down and climbing in next to him.  That shocked Clay's system enough that he woke up slightly.  Roque bit him on the shoulder and then kissed him.  Clay woke up with a hum and blinked at him.  Roque smirked.  "Sleep, Clay."

"I can't sleep with you leering at me."

"We'll make sure you get back to sleep then," he promised, pulling out a knife to cut Clay's boxers off him.  Clay shivered at the touch of warm metal to his skin.  Roque smirked and put the knife down on the free pillow, moving to tease his consort.

"Jensen said something about a consort versus a mate."

"A consort is like an official spouse," Roque said, staring down at him.  This was a serious talk.  "Xander would've been a consort to me, but not a mate.  A mate is...  A mate is one you've captured, wooed, all that yourself.  There's nothing official about it.  A mate can also be a consort but a consort is hardly ever a mate."

"I get that."  He stared at him.  "Jensen wanted to know which one I was."

Roque considered it.  "Well, right now, you're a consort because I haven't claimed you in public and the pack hasn't watched you claim me in public, or me claiming you in public," he said with a smirk."  Clay shivered.  "I...  That's heavier than I wanted to think about tonight, Clay."

"I get that."  He kissed him and Roque stroked over his side, making him flinch.  Roque hit the ticklish spot again on purpose and Clay kicked him.  Roque laughed and it turned into a game for who was on top that night.  "Why is it," he panted.  "That you're on a three-day schedule?"

"Because when I infuse you with myself, it transfers over some of my power, which protects you," he said with a smug look.  "If I go longer than a week, it'll weaken and leave you less protected.  Other things can feel it on you and in you."  He kissed him.  "So I'm enjoying the hell out of you but not often enough to make you too sore."

Clay flipped them over, staring down at him.  "Fuck sore, Roque.   Tell me these things."

Roque spanked Clay's ass, smirking at him.  "Other questions you had?"

"Your mother doesn't really expect me to carry, right?"

"Yup, she does."  He grinned.  "Better you than me."  Clay growled.  Roque shivered when some hairs sprouted down Clay's spine.  "We'll talk about that in a few centuries.  It's not time now."  Clay took a hard, deep kiss.  Roque didn't fight against that.  Clay clearly wanted to be dominant tonight.  Roque pulled back when he heard a thump.  "What was that?"

"Probably Cougar.  He's been balcony drifting for hours."  He went back to what he was doing.  Which was making them both too insane to care who was on top tonight.  Though he was going to be on top.  Then he'd let Roque beg.

Roque tried to flip them over but Clay was being demanding and holding him down just right so he couldn't shift enough.  So Roque went into the shadows and reappeared on Clay's back, biting him hard on the shoulder.  Clay groaned and tipped his head back.  "I'm not taking it tonight, Clay, even if the whole pack was in here you're still taking it up the ass."  He bit him again and then grabbed the lube to work on Clay's ass.  Two fingers was good.  Clay growled and shifted but Roque had him in a good hold.  Then Clay shifted form totally and flipped around to pounce Roque, driving him onto his back with his head hanging off the bed.  Clay shifted back slowly, staring at him with an evil smirk.  "That's cute.  When did you learn that?" he quipped.

"Just now."  He grabbed the lube and slicked himself up then Roque got two fingers of lube into him.  Roque shifted but the lights got a bit brighter.  "Thanks, Atlantis."  He plunged himself in, making Roque yelp.  "Good bitch," he growled in Roque's ear, getting smacked on the side of the head for it.  He gave Roque a good, hard, long ride.  Roque was scratching up his back and arching up to meet each and every thrust.  Finally Clay sat back and pulled the thighs off his waist to hold up and drive into him harder.  Roque was moaning and making pleading noises but no actual begging.  "Beg me," he panted.  "Beg me now."

"Clay!" he growled back.  The door opened and they stared at Pooch and Jensen.  "Close that shit!" Roque demanded.  They closed the door but stayed inside.  He stared at Clay.

"They already knew," he said, driving back into Roque's wet hole.  "You're still my mate."

Roque moaned.  "Damn it!"

"Not planned," Clay promised, staring at him.  Roque smirked at him.  "It wasn't."

"Cougar did," Jensen quipped happily, changing forms and settling on the bookshelf.  Pooch sat against the door and watched.  Cougar was on the balcony in canine form.

Roque groaned and struggled but Clay moved slower, staring at him.  "Move, damn it!" Roque ordered finally.  Clay smirked and went back to the hard, good, long ride.  Roque liked it best that way and if that's what his husband wanted....  He'd be sore in the morning from it.  Clay finally had to come and groaned.  He knew what that meant since Roque hadn't.  The white smile in the darker room showed Roque knew too.  Clay moaned, leaning down to kiss him.

Roque flipped them over and found the hole without his hands.  He stabbed until he slid into it and Clay shivered.  "If you wanted to be my mate, all you had to do was ask," he growled in Clay's ear.

"Not my plan."

"Fine.  We'll still have to get caught by my mother."  Clay whimpered, shaking his head.  "Oh, yes.  That's the rules."  He drove him hard, making the bed rock with each thrust.  He was holding down Clay's wrists and only using his hips to thrust.  They were both sweaty but Clay looked good with the sweat Roque was dripping down onto him.  "Wrap 'em around me, wife."

"Not the wife," Clay growled.  He tried to flip them over.

"You do that and you're going to be proving you're the wife by riding me so prettily," he smirked.  Clay quit.  Roque grabbed one of Clay's legs and put it around him.  "Around me, *mate*."  Clay groaned but did it and Roque went back to thrusting.  He kissed him too.  More tender than earlier but it was nice.  Clay moaned and the ride got harder again but it was good.  Clay was more than willing and it was always great between them.  Clay finally came again and Roque stared at him.  "Say it."

"What?" Clay panted.

"Say you're mine."

"I guess I'm yours."  Clay hissed as his neck was bitten again.  "Damn it, I'm the one that's supposed to bite."

"Real matings are sealed with blood shared," Roque said in his ear, getting a shiver.  "You can't turn me, Clay."  Clay snapped his teeth onto Roque's shoulder, making him hiss and wince but it was good.  "That's it."  Roque lapped at the blood and felt the finish of their bond.  Clay tipped his head back and howled.  Roque smirked and drove into him again, letting go of his control.  He came and made himself slowly lower his full weight onto Clay's body.  Clay moaned, getting his wrists free.  He smacked Roque on the head.  "What was that for?"

"No condom."

"Matings don't get condoms."

"I'm not going to be pregnant this century," Clay complained.

"Hell no you won't.  I'd have to get really pissed at my mother and I'd hate that."  Roque smirked.  "Not an issue yet."  He kissed him.  Clay whimpered but kissed back.  It was good between them.  Very volatile and yet touching and slightly sweet.  Though neither would ever admit that part.

Cougar strolled over in canine form and sniffed them both then changed back.  "Fine, he's your mate," he decided then looked at Pooch, who gave him a dirty look.  "We already knew about yours."  Jensen chirped.  Cougar stared at him.  "We'll see."  He went back to the balcony and climbed back over to his room.  Jensen flew out and went home.  Pooch got up and left through the door.

Clay looked at Roque.  "Cougar accepted you back I think."

"With as much as he just said, yup."  He took another kiss.  "No more nightmares except about me being a bad motherfucker, Clay."  He yawned.

"Of course not."  He smirked and watched his mate fall asleep.  That was different.  He felt different.  More connected, more centered.  Though for some reason he could get hard again.  Maybe Roque's godhood was the source of viagra?  He let himself drift off being held.  It was nice to have someone there to drive off the nightmares.  They were scared of Roque's knives like every other smart thing was.

***

Roque had disappeared for breakfast but had come back that night.  "How would your mother catch us?" he asked.

Roque smirked and stripped Clay for him.  "We'd be in her garden probably."

"You're not going to have your dick up my ass all day, Roque.  I'm not into that tantric shit."

Roque kissed him.  "Wouldn't be needed.  She'd feel and come check.  Wouldn't be more than an hour, tops."  He got a growl back.  Roque smirked.  "Need belly rubs as foreplay?" he taunted with an evil smirk.

"Hell no."

"You know, good bitches get on their knees."

Clay gave him a dirty look.  "Sure, I can bite you there," he agreed smugly.

Roque laughed and pounced.  He had set up the sling before he had left.  Clay had spent all day ignoring it.  Now, he was going back into their consummation device.  They wrestled for top again but Clay looked so pretty under him so he ended up on his back, hitched down, and Roque found the lube again.  "I give fantastic blow jobs," he taunted.  "But only if I get them in return."

"We'll see."  He shifted to get comfortable.  "You were going to make sure I couldn't sit later?" he quipped uneasily.

"I can do that," he promised.  "Or I could use that small healing spell I learned to ease it."

"That's why your massages were better than the others'," Clay said, staring at him.  Roque smirked and nodded, blowing across his dick.  Clay shivered.  "That's pretty.  I'd like to see that."

"Only if it's returned."

"I've never...."

"You'll do just fine."  He licked up it and teased Clay's hole with a slicked up finger.  "How sore do you want me to cure later, Clay?"

"Don't you dare fist me," he groaned.

"Wasn't on my agenda tonight."  Clay and he shared a look.  Roque adjusted the sling down so he was at the better height but his head was still tipped up.  "Want to be tight and ridden or loose and ridden?"

Clay moaned as the finger sank into him.  "I'm still sore from last night."

"Good.  Means you're more sensitive."  He switched up to two fingers.  "Want three or want it here?  You're so tight at just two fingers."  Clay shivered.  Roque kissed him, a bit more tenderly than usual.  Clay was giving him a look.  "You're my mate now, Clay.  My bitch.  My wife."  That got another growl and Roque slicked himself up.  "If you want stretched more, tell me now."

"More," he said quietly.  Roque grinned and added a third slicked up finger.  Clay moaned and shifted his hips to open his legs more.  "There's another part of the claiming isn't there."

"Some day you'll climb on and ride me.  I can wait."  Clay nodded he'd be waiting a while.  "When you're ready you'll crawl over and kiss me then climb on top of me all by yourself."  He slid in and moved the sling to let it do all the work while he held still.  Clay shifted in his bonds.   "That's my mate.  Take it all," he praised, moving the sling harder.  Clay was liking it.  He was making such pretty noises.  Then the alarm went off.  Roque looked up and growled something.  Suddenly the alarm stopped and they heard an explosion outside.  "Huh, that does work."  He got back to it.

The AI appeared in the room.  "Roque, did we perhaps break past the demigod state?" she asked politely.  Clay groaned.  "I don't mean to interrupt you gentling your mate."

Roque smirked.  "No comment."  She beamed and left.  He pushed in harder and Clay yelped.  "No comment work for you?"

"Definitely.  Just don't make others show up to ask."

"They wouldn't dare.  Even John's not that brainless."

"John's smart.  He's very smart."

"Yeah but he's not street smart.  He's book smart."  He smirked evilly and pushed in harder.  Then went back to the gentler ride.  "How sore are you?"

"Still sore."  Roque smirked and locked the sling in place then went to work making his mate very sore so he could cure it tomorrow.  It'd make him more sensitive to his touch.  "Gentling?" he panted, gripping the straps around the top of the sling.

"Yup.  Gentling.  Moving you to the point of mushy stuff occasionally."  They shared a look.  "Something else I'm not ready for yet."  Clay smirked at him for it.  Roque went back to riding him harder.  It was great fun.  Clay made such pretty sounds.

"You're getting in here later," Clay growled.

"Yup, if you can put me in there."

"I'm sure I can."  Roque smirked evilly at him.  Clay let it go for now.  But once they were both tired, and back in bed, Clay let Roque rest while he worked on his plans to get Roque into the sling again.  He had such a sweet ass.   He looked over as the sling fell from the ceiling.  Clay slid out on his way to the bathroom to clean up.  Roque snuffled but didn't wake up.  On the way back he got the sling and came back to bed.  He worked it around Roque's exhausted body.  The straps got hung up on the hooks above the bed he had put up there.  Just barely off the bed.  Roque woke up when Clay bit him on the thigh.  Clay smirked at his mate.  "Problems?"  He got to work stretching the extremely tight hole.  Roque shifted and growled back.  "Do *you* need belly rubs?" he taunted.

"Could use a blow job to get me fully into it."

Clay licked over the head of his cock then sucked hard just the once.  "Sorry, all I know how to do," he said with an evil grin.  He went up to two fingers, watching Roque get harder as he worked.  Clay got to stay on his knees.  Roque got to get his ankles tied tighter when one came free to kick at him.  "Just for that," he said, sliding into the still tight hole.  "Oh, god, now I see why you like doing that to me so much," he moaned.  "You're damn near virgin tight."  Roque was shifting and trying hard not to growl about it.

Clay moaned and leaned over to kiss him.  "Such a pretty bitch my wife is."  Roque shook his head.  Clay smirked and nodded.  "Yes you are.  Whoever's on the bottom is the wife of the day."  He slid out and then smoothly back in, working his way up to a good, hard ride.  Roque was shifting and muttering but Clay kept his mind focused and his dick hard.  Roque was making begging noises before too much longer.  Clay was even nice enough to palm his cock and stroke it for him since Roque's hands were tied down.  Roque went limp and came.  Clay smirked, coming after a few strokes.

"Condom?" he asked.

"Is it easier to get you pregnant than it would be for you to get me?"  Roque nodded.  "Huh.  Well, I have an enema kit," he offered.  Roque whimpered.  "If I could float you in there in this position, I would," he said smugly.  A beam hit Roque and then he disappeared to reappear in the bathroom from the ceiling over the shower.  "Hey, that's handy.  Thanks, Atlantis."  He patted the city's wall on his way into the bathroom.  He got the enema kit warmed up under running water and then stuck the plastic nozzle into the open hole.  Squeezing the bottle slowly, watching him clamp down it, watching Roque's face as water filled him.  Now Clay leaned down to lick over his cock again.  Roque twitched but went limp.  "Like that?  New kink?"

"Don't mind that," he admitted.  "Better than a Summers Eve any day."  Clay bit him on the inner thigh again.  "Hey!"

Clay smirked and licked over it.  When the bottle was empty he tossed it out.  "In here?" Clay asked him.

"I wouldn't want to clean it," Roque complained.

"You'll only be shitting water and cum anyway," Clay teased.  Roque glared at him.  Clay spanked him until the muscles twitched and he let some out.  "See?  I knew I was right.  Let it go, wife."  Roque glared again.  Clay kissed him and stroked Roque's cock.  "The longer it's in there, the longer the sperm are," he teased with an evil smirk.

"I get knocked up and you're going to be on my dick in my mother's garden tonight.  Begging for it."

"Of course I would."  Roque let it out and the shower automatically started, hosing them both off.  The leather got wet too but it was waterproofed.  He had checked.  Finally Roque was limp with the strain of letting it all out.  "Good wife."  Roque snapped at the fingers Clay was teasing his cheek with.  "Ah!  Naughty.  I'll have to punish you for that."   Clay got a sex toy he had stolen off Jolene and licked it then inserted it into himself.  He let Roque watch it be moved a few times.  Roque shivered.   "You want?"

"No, I don't like the fake dicks."

"Fine."  Clay pulled it out and put it into the sink then looked at his damp, tied down, hard mate.  Clay walked back into the shower and licked over the hard cock again.  "Better?"

"Much.  Do more of that," he said with a smirk.

"Some day I'll learn how to suck cock.  Not today though."  He gave Roque a wicked look and drove himself back into his open hole.  He added some more lube that had appeared on Roque's stomach when he pulled out, then slid back in.  Roque shifted.  "Too much friction?"

"Yup.  Just a bit more?"  Clay squirted a bit more lube on his dick when he pulled back then slid it back inside.  Roque shivered and nodded.  Clay rode him in there, making the sling rock as the occasional bit of cold water hit them both.  Roque wanted to scream in pleasure but he knew he couldn't.

"Let it out," Clay ordered.  Roque gave him a dirty look.  "Only the other Losers in this hallway.  No one upstairs or downstairs."  Roque let out more of the noises.  Clay slammed himself into Roque's ass, holding his hips still while he ground himself into it.  Roque let out a yelp.  "Pretty."  He gave him the ride of his life, making Roque squeal at one point.   Roque finally came and Clay caught some on his tongue with a smirk.  He swallowed it then pulled out to shoot off all over Roque's stomach.  Roque moaned, liking that.  "Better, wife?"

"So not the wife."

"Today you are."

"Tomorrow you're going to be back on my dick and begging," Roque countered.

"Maybe I'll keep you tied down then," he taunted with a smirk.  He turned the shower back on, warmer this time, to scrub them both down.  They were both really sore.  Clay let Roque free and helped him out to the bed.  He didn't tie him down, this time, but he did get held.  Which was nice in its own way.  And neither one had nightmares.  Which was even better.

***

John brought in breakfast the next morning.  The whole team's doors wouldn't open on his orders until he brought them breakfast.  He found them coming into their common area and set down the tray, including carafe of coffee.  He stared at Roque.  "Interesting technique."

"I was busy."

"Clearly."  He stared at him.  Roque shrugged a bit but smirked.  "Uh-huh.  If you make your mother pounce my city, you get to ride herd on all the wet pantied botanists, Roque."

"Fine."  He smacked Jensen on the back of the head.  "I'm sure someone can."

"They scare me," Jensen told him.  "I've never met anyone who could create a sex toy plant.  Or one that was a blow up doll plant."  John snickered, shaking his head.  "Didn't you tell them no?"

"Multiple times.  Let me guess, it's in Lab two's back room?"  Jensen shook his head.  "No?  They go in there to hide a lot."

"I think that's some sort of captive plant that they enjoy.  No, she's in room seven's lab."  John grimaced.  "A few feed her every day."

"I'll check on that captive plant."  He looked at Clay's throat, watching him move his t-shirt to cover it.  "At least I know it won't infect."  Roque shook his head.  "Do not get my city invaded, Roque."

"I won't.  Calm down!"

"My mother's here."

"Never mind, mine and yours getting together equals both getting knocked up," he complained.  John nodded.  "She is?"

"Yeah, she and Lord Apollo flirted."  Roque whimpered.  "I heard your mom was offering womb space for a few of the rain forest ones to seal an alignment?"  Roque nodded.  "Cool.  Oh, Xander's back with the dog to woo Lam with a picnic."  He left with that warning.

"What's the big deal if Xander's mother gets pregnant?" Pooch asked.

"She's a major river Goddess."  Roque sat down and poured himself some coffee.  There were five cups so John had expected him to stay and eat.  "They found out, back when she was married, that her getting pregnant swelled her river.  They had a horrible monsoon season with a minor bit of flooding that year but it was good for crops for the next few."  They all nodded they understood that.  "She's miscarried a few daughters.  You can always tell daughters because they make the storms worse and the rivers swell more as her ankles do."  He sipped his coffee.

"She was married?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah, some ethereal night being.  He nearly burned to death coming to the daylight to claim her and she crossed back to protect him, because rivers don't really care about day or night.  She was doing her duty on their honeymoon and giving him some when he came.  And that created a hole that leaked into her.  So he basically came to death."  Pooch shuddered.  "Which is the first time they realized her being pregnant swelled her river.  Apparently Krishna told her to do what was needed when her river needed it to help the people.  So now she's the Gods' biggest flirt."  He took another sip.  "After Xander, a lot of people conspired to get her to never have another kid.  A few attacks by other pantheons, a few by the Celtic pantheon to try to bring their pantheon to its knees during the Brit invasion.  She miscarried three daughters over the centuries I believe."  They all nodded.

"John said he wished a daughter on her this time," Pooch said.

"He wanted someone to fuss over and who'd give Xander someone to fuss over instead of jumping into battles," Roque said dryly.  Clay got them both food.  He grinned for that.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He sipped his own coffee.  "He stole the good stuff from the labs for us."  He sipped again and put it down beside him.  "Any other news we should hear?"

Jensen looked at him then at Roque.  "Healing spell?"

"Yup," he said smugly.

"I used to love that whenever I wrenched my back."  Cougar stared at him.  "That massage thing that always felt better than everyone else's was because he knows a small healing spell or has a small talent for it."

"Spell," Roque assured him.  He looked over at the sound of clicking.  "Hellion, what are you doing down here?"  The dog dropped something and stared.  "Sure, I'll read that.  Thank your father for me.  Good boy."  The dog barked and ran off with his tail wagging.  Roque picked it up to read it, smirking.  "Peter's teaching him how to be a messenger dog."  He put it into his jeans pocket and dug into breakfast.  He was starved this morning.  He looked at Jensen, the kid was awfully quiet this morning.  "Your sister having problems again?" he demanded finally.

Jensen looked up and shook his head.  "I'm just tired."  Pooch and Cougar stared at him.  "I'm allowed to be tired!"

"Change," Clay ordered.  Jensen huffed but did and ate his breakfast.  Jensen's usually tan color was now a very palely glowing white.  "Is that anemia?" he asked Roque.

"Yeah, that is.  And a few other things.  Like lack of sun."

Jensen looked up from eating his eggs.  "I sunned yesterday.  I'm just tired."

"Bullshit.  You're white."

Jensen looked at himself then shrugged.  "I have no idea.  I'm not sick.  I'm getting plenty of protein and I hunted the last time we were off the city.  I got a squirrel-like thing."

Cougar pulled Jensen over to test his ear tips, which was how he had figured out to test for a fever.  "Not warm."  He ran a hand over his scales.  "Not scratched or dry but it's been a week since you were oiled."

"By now he should feel a bit dry," Roque said.  He considered it.  If Xander and John's mother was here....  He called her.  She strolled in with John.  He pointed at Jensen.

She frowned, running a hand over him.  "Hmm.  You're healthy but that's not a good color, young one."  She tested him again.  "In females that means you're going into heat."

Xander walked in with the dog.  "Hey, Jensen?"  Jensen looked up.  "Want to go see a healer?"

"Maybe I should.  I feel fine," he promised.  "I've made sure I hunted, got some sun.  All that."

"It could be something funky you're reacting to from the local food sources," John said.  "Some vitamin deficiency?"

"Maybe," Xander said.  He cuddled Jensen and took him, and his puppy, to the temple he knew was around up there.  He walked into it.  "Hola, my former fellow warriors."

"Alexander!" one squealed, coming to hug him.  "Oh, who's this?"

"This is Jensen.  We have no idea why he's that color."

"A male?"  She took him to look over.  "He is."  She took him to the healer with Xander and his dog following.  "What are you doing in this galaxy?"

"John's on Atlantis."  He grinned.  "They're going to bring her home for a bit after destroying more wraith."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "We had heard they woke up early and have culled too many this time."  Xander nodded.  The healer looked up.  "This is a male, Healer Jacobar."  She put Jensen down.

He hummed.  "What did you eat?"  He checked him over.  "Go to full size."

"Sure," Jensen said.  "I haven't been as chatty as usual today and I'm a bit tired but I sunned yesterday and I had meat this week.  I've been keeping up on my protein too."

The healer nodded.  "That's good."  He checked his chest, smiling at something.  "The last battle with a wraith, you were touched?"

"Yeah and I kicked him back then killed them," Jensen said.  "He got me from behind."

"Is this their feeding thingy they inject them with?" Xander asked.

"Yes.  That's a reaction to that.  It's slow to work out of his system."  Xander held up a finger and disappeared, without the dog, coming back a second later with Peter Jennings.  "A healer?"

"Aye."  He smiled.  "I'm like Alexander but I'm from another lineage.  I've been a healer and doctor for many years."  They shook hands and went over how to help Jensen.  Xander turned and stomped something.  "Xander?" Peter asked patiently.  "That could've been a pet."

"That's an iratus bug, like the one that bit John."

Peter looked and shuddered.  "Those things are dangerous."

"They cannot bite us," the healer said.

"Bet me," Jensen complained.  "One bit my tail a few months back."

"Oh, dear."  They read that.  That was what it was.  "You cleared most of it," the dragon healer said.

"I thought I got all of it."

"No, not hardly."

"But it would explain why we've had a rash of it in the underage populace," the healer said.  His helper ran off to tell the elders they had to kill those bugs.  He looked at Jensen.  "Fortunately we have some treatment for it."  Xander leaned on the table and with Peter shot some energy into Jensen, which made him grow and change color to a darker version of his own.  "Awww, they even moved you past majority," the healer said.  "Alexander?"

"This is Peter.  He's one of the few docs I let fuss over me."  He grinned.  "And Jensen's my buddy and honor guard member."

"Ah!  That's wonderful you picked one of us."  He patted Jensen on the neck.  "Go tell the others."  Jensen nodded, changing back to human.  He shivered but it sank in and it was better.  "Good boy."

"Grandmother always talked about these berries," Jensen said.  "Are they up here?"

"No, we could not bring any.  They wouldn't transplant."

"John, my brother, works with botanists on Atlantis," Xander offered.  "I can bring some seeds back if you'd like them to try."

He got a few dried berries.  "They might not help all that much."  He smiled and watched Alexander take all of them and his dog.

Jensen walked into Botany with Radek.  He looked at one of them and nodded her over to their meeting.  "I recently turned pale, glowing white," he said quietly.  Radek gave him a confused look.  "Remember when I got bitten and had to be cleared?"  Radek moaned.  "Exactly.  Oh, berries?" he asked, handing them over.  The botanist moaned and hugged him.  "The healer on that refugee planet said they've had a lot of cases of it too among the littler ones."

"They had some?" the botanist asked.  Jensen nodded.  "Huh.  That's good to know.  Softer, smaller scales would leave gaps for them to bite."

"One got under one of mine," Jensen told her.  "Completely wiggled while I tried to get it off.  It didn't help that a wraith hit me with enzyme during that battle either, but I killed it really hard."

"Is good to know," Radek said.  "We will nurture those.  My parents said much about them."

"So did my grandparents."  Jensen grinned.  The botanist grinned back.  "Spread the other news?"  Radek nodded so he left them to plot science things.  He went back to his team's meeting area.  "It was the bug thing."  He sat down.  Clay stared at him.  "They had some there.  Peter and Xander cleared it."  The dog came running and hopped into his lap, hiding under his shirt.  "What?  Did you crap in the infirmary or something?" he asked, petting it.  Xander came jogging their way.  "What happened?"

"Keller lost it and changed.  She tried to get Carolyn and Peter but Peter tranq'd her."  He picked up his puppy to coo over.  He calmed down.  "That was very smart, Hellion.  You couldn't have fought that doggy.  She was big and mean."  He walked off petting him.

"At least she's not in heat now," Clay complained.  Roque gave him an odd look.  "She had an accident with a dirty needle, or so she said."

Roque nodded.   "I'd kill the bitch."  If she touched his mate, he'd kill her hard and it'd be epic.  Jensen might even write poetry about the kill again.

"At least I can fight mine," Jensen said with a grin.

"You hope," Roque said sarcastically.  "You don't get laid near enough to be able to fight off the need when it hits."

Jensen stuck his tongue out at him.  "How would you know?  The last time I knew I wasn't making you beg for my dick."

Roque looked at Clay.  "You let him break his training.  Now I'll really have to take out his tongue and then kill his stupid ass."

Clay shook his head.  "You can't.  The city adores Jensen.  She plays virtual checkers with him."  He looked over.  "You can spank him if you want.  Just don't maim him.  We're due to attack another hive any day now when we find one."

Roque started to move but Jensen changed and snorted some fire at him.  "That's new," he said, staring at him.  "You're darker too.  What did they do?"

"Xander and Peter weeded out the bad stuff."

"That means they moved you to that last stage of maturity," Roque said with an evil smirk. "Now you'll have to go when another goes into heat around you."

"Nope," Jensen quipped with a dragon grin.  "Because I'm good and I don't have to follow those.  It's a need but you can fight it.  After all, I fought turning you pink more than once."  He flew back to his room.

"What the hell is that?" a female voice snapped.

Clay looked at her.  "Who in the fuck are you, lady?"  She flinched.  He tapped his earpiece.  "McKay, I have one of your whining pets here in our common area.  She just asked what Jensen was.  I think she's stupid."

"Stupid can be cured," Roque growled, pulling a knife out of nowhere.

"That's not normal!" she shouted, pointing at Jensen's door.  "We don't have those on this city."

McKay walked up behind her and slapped her hard across the back of the head.  "Jensen has always been like that.  Leave Jensen alone.  Jensen?"  He stuck his head out of his room in human form.  "Come here."  He came out pulling on a clean shirt.  "What did you give Radek that's making him babble?"

"Some really nice berries they hadn't been able to transplant?"

"Fine."  He stared at him.  "Tell her to mind her own business."

"I already did."  He looked at her.  "Don't worry about it.  It's just your mind cracking, dear," he said sarcastically.

"I saw you!  You're some other form of alien!"  She tapped her earpiece.  "I'm telling the Colonel on you."

"What makes you think Sheppard doesn't know?" McKay snorted.  "I was the last in the need to know chain and I found out months ago.  Also, no testing him either.  Like the dog, you can't run tests on them."

"Xander would fuck her up," Roque said dryly.  "In many creative ways."

"Xander and his dog are still growling over the NID burning down his place of employment," McKay said with a smirk.  "How did you get up here?"

"I came to see my pack," he said smugly.  "The same way Xander comes up to pass out at John's feet."

John walked up to them, taking the scientist's earpiece with a snatch and turning it off.  "We don't mind.  He made peace with the city and his consort is here."

"Mate," Cougar corrected.

"Aww," John said with a smirk for Roque.  "That's so good.  Does your mom know?  She's in Botany."  Clay shook his head quickly.  "Huh.  Maybe it'll make them quit trying to set my cute ass up."  He glared at her.  "Leave Jensen alone."

"He's an alien!"

"No, he's from Earth.  His people moved there years ago."  He smirked.  "No matter how cute his little dragon form is."  She made squeaky noises as her mouth worked.  "So we leave Jensen the fuck alone."  She passed out.  "It was me swearing, wasn't it?  I only swear during emergencies."  He looked at McKay, who was rolling his eyes.  "I do."

"I was a bad influence on him.  I'm the one who taught him and Xander both how to swear."  Roque beamed at them.

"When I joined the team, you swore to me that you weren't a corrupter of innocence," Jensen said.  "Did you lie?"

"You were so green and young, I knew you were a virgin and hadn't ever gotten drunk.  Then I realized you already had a filthy mouth and clearly got off with it," Roque shot back with an evil smirk.  "I didn't need to corrupt you, just straighten your weird ass out."

"Weird is relative," Jensen quipped.  "You're just too straight.  Oops, my bad, maybe you're not."  Clay tried to grab Jensen this time but he moved out of the way and behind John, then outside and up onto the roof to sun.

"I'm sure by now you two have handcuffs so you can strap him to a table for a spanking," John quipped as he walked her off.   "Maybe it's the reverse of what a queen gou'ald does?  Making all the women act stupid?" John asked Rodney since he was following.

"Perhaps.  Who knows with some of them."

"If so it'll want Xander," Roque reminded them.

"Don't remind me, please.  Did you get to meet Anya?"  They shared a look before John walked around the corner.  He still wanted to kick Anya's ass for hurting his little brother that way.

Rodney walked her into the infirmary.  "She just started shouting about aliens being part of Colonel Clay's team," he said, handing her to Carolyn.  "She thinks Jensen's not normal."

"I find him refreshingly nice," she complained, putting that scientist on a bed and getting some medicine for her.  "I don't know what her problem is."

"He's cute," Xander said with a shrug.  "Maybe it rotted her mind."

She nodded.  "Could be."  She walked back into the office to chat with him.  "Xander?"  He looked up at her, grinning some.  She closed the door.  "As a question, are you bi?"

"Um..."  He considered that.  "Why?"

"I think it's something we should discuss," she said.  She sat down.  "I'm not mad but I've heard that you and Roque had a few moments."

He shrugged.  "Mostly it's been post-battle stress relief for me and him.  A few times when there was that arranged marriage plot."  He shifted.  "See, before the wedding you get handfasted for a year.  To see if it'll be a fertile union and to make sure you won't kill each other.  We lasted about eight months before I walked off because he was an unreasonable asshole."

"So you're not really bi but sometimes?"

"Post battle stress relief; I usually need to wear out the remaining aggression and adrenaline," he said calmly.  "Which means a long, hard, dirty ride most of the time."  She blushed.  "The person I'm with at that time, because it's never happened when I was dating, knew and was usually in the same screwed up state.  Some guys can meditate it out.  I'm not that sort.  And if I'm dating I'd go to whoever I was dating and have them."  He grinned.  "I'd try to be more gentle than I was with him.  Because he ended up with bruises and nail cuts.  So did I."  She nodded she understood that.  "But I'd never cheat on whoever I was with.  My natal paternal family might not appreciate women's liberation but I know how special having the right one will be."

She smiled.  "That's good to know."

"Should I ask if you dabbled?"

"Twice in college but it wasn't really something I liked," she admitted.  He beamed.  "Does he... is it usually bondage style stuff?"

"No, usually we have a dominance fight over who's on top.  Without weapons.  Sometimes I win, sometimes I don't.  The last time I winced for six damn days because I couldn't sit.  I will admit I was with Anya that time, because I'm trying to forget her, but she was also stepping out on me with a vampire we worked with.  And her only comment was to change the sheets."

"She did?"

"Yeah.  She's a former demon so she's probably had more than one, Carolyn.  Her and Spike getting it on, I didn't like it and I made my feelings known.  She swore up and down that it'd stop."  He shook his head.  "It's better that she ran off when she saw the eye patch."

She patted him on the wrist, getting lapped by the dog.  "She wasn't good enough for you, Xander."

He grinned.  "I try really hard to be a good boy."

"I know you do."  She grinned.  "Do you have anything ...kink wise I should be warned about?"

"Anya taught me to do oral sex for *hours*.  Before it was maybe forty minutes but it helped with her super neediness."

She blushed.  "Seriously?"  He nodded.  "Huh."  He grinned.  "What else did she train you in?"

"She was a toy girl too.  She was real blunt about sex, no matter who was around.  It's why I don't blush much anymore.  Though I don't really like her need for public sex.  I understand the public claiming and why it's done but it's not something I really like.  Especially since she kept wanting it in a park."

She shook her head.  "No, I'm not like that.  Mood music and candles aren't usually out in public."  He beamed and kissed her.  "What're you going to do about the job thing?"

"I have some money saved back."  He grinned.  "And I bought a house instead of the apartment.  I even remembered to pay Roque back."  She grinned.  "As for the shop, I'm not sure what he's doing but I did have insurance on the building since I bought it.  It was a fairly good investment and I could've put apartments in overtop of the store some year.  And it would've kept the store there so I had an easy job.  I can go back to construction.  The construction company changed hands recently and the new guy who owns it offered me a job again but I'd have to start down at the bottom and work my way up.  So I'm weighing options.  It also depends on if this spring's upcoming problem is going to be huge or not.  I've been hearing new rumors of huge apocalypse battle stuff."

"Why?"

"Someone at Wolfram and Hart moved up their plans for a few years from now."

"How bad?"

"All I've heard was 'bad' and 'we'll be visiting our relatives on another plane' rumors."

"So really probably bad.  Otherwise they'd go visit another state?"

"Probably as bad as graduation.  They said that about that battle too."  She nodded.  "But I can't be sure and I'm not certain it's in Sunnydale.  Hopefully we'll know by March."

"You can let us know too.  Maybe the generals can help."

He grinned.  "I will but your dad's growled at me that he'll find a way to kill my pretty butt with torture if I ever got you near a battle."

She snorted.  "My father's being a petty asshole, Xander."

He grinned.  "I know but he's your dad.  I'm told they're supposed to do those sort of things."

Mari knocked and opened the door to lean in.  "Your mother's crying?"

"She and Apollo had some nice wine drinking times."

"Oh!  Mood swings.  Fun," she said sarcastically.  "Roque's mother is obviously showing as well."

"Yeah, it cemented an alliance with the rain forest ones from South America.  I'm told they gave her twins to break and make her love slaves."  He grinned.

"I'd never be able to do that.  Is Roque up here?  I can't find him."

"Find Clay and ask him?  That's his mate."

"Good point."  She walked off calling him over the comm.  They both came to calm the mothers down.  Roque loved his mother and she was good to him.  John and Xander's mother....  She loved to fuss over Roque.  So Clay could back him up this time.  They'd get to sob over their mating.

***

Xander reappeared in Sunnydale, looking at the demons in the bar.  "People, why am I hearing major apocalypse rumors?" he asked the room in general.  "I need to know if I have to ask Fury for weapons."

The bartender looked at him.  "Why would we know?  It's in LA."

"That's good to know."  He grinned.  "I heard some of the local ones saying they'd visit relatives on other planes?"  His phone rang.  "Hold on.  Hi, Agent Fury."  He listened.  "I'll come pick him up in a second.  Dawn wanted to pet him for a few minutes and I'm asking about this spring."  He hung up and smiled at the room.  "I let Dawn pet my war puppy."

"Your dog's a what?" the vampire next to him asked.  "Beyond a cute little snack?"

"One of the dogs of war Ares' keeps was her mama."  He grinned.  "He's trained to help me."

"But... you're Harris.  You're goofy, normal, all that."  Xander let his glow out.  The vampire whimpered.  "NO!" he whined.  "Let me finish this drink first?"

"I don't care about you right now.  Once you're outside you're toast," Xander said.  "In here you can't eat innocents."  He pulled in his glow again.  "So, spring, LA?"

"Black Thorn," a demon in the corner said.  "What the hell sort of demon are you?"

Xander grinned.  "Norse.  As in Aesir."  The bar stopped and stared at him.  He grinned.  "Loki's my dad."  That got a mass shudder.  "Yeah, I'm that Alexander.  So spring, LA?  Black Thorn?"  That demon let out a whimper but nodded.  "Sure.  Thanks."  He grinned and disappeared, setting a trap for any vampires that walked out of the bar, outside of Spike.  He reappeared in Fury's office, taking his dog from Dawn.  "Did the Auntie Dawn spoil you with doggy biscuits?" he cooed since he was chewing.

"Jerky."  She patted him on the arm.  "He's still an adorable puppy."

"Why do you have a dog on my hell carrier?" Fury demanded.

"I let Dawn pet him while I went to one of our local snitches about the upcoming spring apocalypse.  I'm hearing LA, Black Thorn, and a lot of demons who want to leave the plane totally."

Fury gave him an odd look.  "What?"   Xander nodded.  "Your graduation wasn't that bad."

"A few wanted to," Xander said.  "That's why I asked.  I know that whoever Black Thorn is moved their plans up.  It was in a few years."

"Hell no, not in a major city," he muttered, looking them up.  He stared.  "What the fuck?"  He pushed a button.  "Pepper?"  He let it go.  You summoned Pepper Potts nicely or she took your head off.  She walked in.  "Black Thorn?"

"Someone in our legal department heard a rumor about someone from his native country, a general."  She cooed and petted Hellion.  "Such a good puppy, Hellion.  I wondered why Dawn stole the jerky from Tony's desk."  She smiled at Xander.  "How's Carolyn?"

"She's still very nice to me."  He grinned.  She grinned back.  "So, Fury?"

"We have almost nothing.  What we have is from a compromised source."

Tony Stark walked in.  "Where is my jerky, Dawn?"  She pointed at the dog.  He stared.  "Hi, Hellion."  The dog barked and wiggled so he could get down and pounce Tony for petting.  "You're a very good war puppy, yes."  He got his pets and went back to sit beside the daddy.  He was a big dog of war, he didn't need carried all the time.

Xander smiled at him.  "Good boy, Hellion.  Sorry, Tony."

"Not a problem.  Why are we meeting?"

"This spring's problem in LA," Dawn quipped.  "Which means it might be safer to be in Sunnydale."

Stark looked at them then at Fury and his assistant, who let him see what they had.  "Pepper, do you need your assistant for a few days?" he asked dryly.

"I can spare her and keep Dawn."  Dawn beamed.

"That's not a bad idea," Fury said, summoning her.  She walked in and stared at him.  He let her see what little they had.

"That will be a mess."  She got him into the site she had been lurking on for information.

"Holy fucking God!" Fury shouted.  "An invasion!"  He looked at Xander.

"Yeah, I might want to move to another plane for that," he decided.

"Sunnydale would definitely be safer than being in LA that week," Dawn said.  They shared a look.  "I'll get with Giles?"

"Please.  I have no idea where he is.  And remind your sister she'll still be waddling so make an evac plan that includes her for her mom."  She nodded, making that call as she walked off.  "Okay, so what do we know for sure?" Xander asked.

Fury looked at him.  "You let us handle that, kid.  This is a bit big for your team."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm the new God Protector of this plane, Fury."  Stark gaped, staring at him.  "That's why Hellion was a present from Ares."  He grinned.  "My honor guard is presently the Losers and a few of the other demis who tend to jump into things.  So I'm doing what?"

"Getting your uncle ready for an invasion," Black Widow said.  "When it happens, we'll need you protecting the normals while we fight the demons."

Xander nodded.  "I can do both.  LA is tied tight enough to Sunnydale that they have good scatter plans."  She nodded at that.  He grinned.  "Worse than grad?"

"With their plans to open a portal and vomit a plane here to eat all of humanity, maybe," Pepper admitted.

"Huh."  He nodded and summoned Thor, making him blink a few times.  "Uncle, we're having an apocalypse this spring.  Did you want to help me guard or help us all fight?"

"I'll fight, nephew."  He looked at him.  "You wear your position well."  Xander grinned.  "Is this battle close to Ragnarok?"

"No," Xander said.  He winced, holding his head.  "I hate those fucking things," he mumbled.  Thor helped him into a chair and Hellion guarded the daddy, like Ares had said.  When he finally groaned and blinked, Hellion climbed up him to lap him to make sure the daddy was all right.  Xander hugged him and looked at Thor.  "Well, Ragnarok won't be that fun."  Thor stiffened.  "It's going to be a real bitch but it won't be fun."  He accepted the paper and pen from Pepper, writing it down.  In Norse.  Thor read it and nodded one, then shuddered.  "Copy it for them please, Pepper?"  She ran a photocopy for them.  He handed the original to Thor.  "To Frigg."  He nodded and left.  "I'm sure the Pissed Off Goddess Tea Society will hear soon as well."  He relaxed.  "By the way, they're going over how women's lib can help the Goddesses."

Fury shuddered.  "Those goddesses were fucking scary."

"Yes, they are," Xander said with a grin.  "Wise men know to flee, even in pantheons where women aren't celebrated."  His father appeared, holding the paper.  "That was supposed to go to Grandma."

"It did.  She mirrored your vision and had one about your mate."

"I have a mate?  Is it Carolyn?"

"She couldn't see that much detail.  It'll be started when someone attacks your mate and you lose your temper."

"I've lost my temper many times.  It never called frost giants before, Father," he said dryly.  A new demigod appeared.  "Hey, Herc."

"Xander."  He shook his hand and petted the dog.  "Hello, Hellion."  The dog barked.  "Problems?"

"I just had Ragarok updated."  Hercules looked at it, nodding at it.  "I doubt me losing my temper will call frost giants."

"It says they'd see you as weak and therefore it'd ben a great time to attack," Hercules said, letting him see it.  Xander grimaced.  "Later on it says your mate and you will destroy a good bit of things."

"Sure, I can get behind that plan."  He handed it back.  "Thanks.  Father, we're having an invasion of demons this spring.  Did you want to help by chaosing some of their plans into submission?"

Loki stared at him.  "What did you want me to do?" he asked with an evil smirk.  Xander pulled him down to whisper in his ear.  "I see.  That is very ...tactical but not nearly as much fun, my son."

"Yes, but think about what hell an invasion of demons in LA will do, Dad.  Especially with Faith in jail and Buffy pregnant."  Loki moaned and shook his head as he disappeared.

"If you need me, call on me," Hercules said.  "I'll come help."  Xander grinned.  "Fury, is that why Thor called me?"

"Probably."  He let him see what they had.

Hercules nodded.  "That general may be able to be taken out."

"If we can get Clay's team back," Xander offered.  "They might've ran into him before."

"Roque?" Fury called.

He stepped out of the shadows.  "You're lucky.  Ten more minutes and I would've been busy with my mate."  He saw the gathered people and winced.  "New attack on the planet?"

"There's a demon invasion this spring in LA," Xander said cheerfully.

"You need laid, kid.  Badly.  Before those bad mental places take over your brain like they have Jensen's."  He looked at that information.  "I thought we killed him."

"Apparently not hard enough," Fury said.

Roque nodded.  "Once they get back here, we'll go help fix that shit."  He disappeared to tell Clay the bastard had survived.  It'd be a disappointment for the whole team.  They had been proud of killing him.  He came back.  "Is he human or demon?"

"Or clone?" Xander asked.  "Because if that team killed him I'm doubting he's still really alive."

"He's listed as human, maybe part-demon," he told them.  "Due to the resurrection."

"Sure, we can go kill him again," Clay decided, stepping out of the shadows.  Roque beamed at him.  "Yes, I figured out how to do that."  Xander beamed.  "Thanks for teaching him, kid.  You let the pros handle this, all right?"

"It's my job."

"Yay.  You're still young."

"I'm fucking seventy-nine centuries old, Clay.  I'm older than you are!"

Clay looked at Roque.  "I thought you were older than him."

"I am by a few years.  I'm the same age John is."  Clay nodded at that information.  "We'll supposedly be back on earth in six months."

"Too late then," Fury said.

"I'll go," Roque said.  "I'll tell O'Neill?"

"I'll tell O'Neill that you've volunteered for that mission," Fury said.  "Go guard that city."  They nodded and went back.  "Huh.  How?" he asked Xander more quietly.

"Mate bonds," he said with a grin.  "It's so sweet!  I wonder if Roque told him that he's naturally fertile thanks to his mom but she has to bless Clay's stomach to knock him up?"

Hercules shuddered.  "Roque with mood swings would kill everyone."

"Could be," Xander agreed.  "But I'm told it's a husband's duty to fix those."  He grinned.

"Poor Colonel Clay," Stark said dryly, cracking Pepper up.  The Black Widow cracked a smile and shook her head.

"The last time I sat and talked with Roque, he needed some attitude calming down," Hercules said.

"Yeah, he needed to yank the knife blade out of his ass and turn it around to sit on the handle instead," Xander agreed.  "Wasn't that when we were handfasted?"  Hercules nodded.  "I probably wasn't much nicer then."

"You were angry but it was reasonable.  Everyone else knew it was a bad relationship, Xander."  Xander nodded.  "Are you seeing someone?  Aphrodite said she was watching over you again."

"I'm seeing someone but we're taking it very slowly."

"She's a very nice doctor with huge needles," Stark told him.

"They seem to all have huge needles."  Hercules went back over the intel they had, adding in some about the area.  Black Widow was asking some of her contacts for more.  What they were getting was really evil looking.  "Looks like you'll have to prove your position," Hercules quipped, looking at Xander, who was asleep cuddling his dog.  "Aww," he said quietly.

"He had a vision," Pepper said, taking a picture.  "For Dawn."  She smiled and put her phone back.   Hercules smirked at her.  "You haven't met Dawn?"

"I have met Dawn.  She's very...energetic."

"She needs a real guard," Tony said.  The puppy lifted his head to look at him.  "Not you.  For the Dawn."  The dog put his head down.  "You're doing a great job guarding your human, Hellion."  He handed over another piece of jerky, which the dog adored apparently.  He looked at them.  "What am I doing?"

"Being ready this May," Fury said.  He nodded, leaving them to plot.  Black Widow went to pay a few contacts a personal visit.  Hercules too.  Fury looked at the young god out cold in his chair.  He sighed and lowered the lights but left him to sleep it off.  He clearly needed the nap if he could sleep through a meeting.

Xander wouldn't touch anything and if that dog of his could hack, he'd hire him.

You never discounted anything that came out of Sunnydale being able to do something.

***

Giles walked into Angel's headquarters looking pissed off.  "What's happened now?"  He stared at Buffy, who was unable to stand.  "What the hell?" he demanded.

"NID.  It's Ironman's."  He gaped.  She nodded.  "He's getting custody."

Giles blinked a few times.  "That's good I suppose, Buffy.  It's probably safer if his assistant raised the child."  She shrugged, swallowing hard.  "All right.  Is that the news I needed to drink about?  We'll have to make a plan for when you're in labor so you don't lash out at someone and accidentally hurt a nurse."

"No," Gunn said.

Wesley smiled, handing over the file Xander had dropped off on his way to Sunnydale.  "We found this as well."

Giles read it and blinked at them.  "Why?"

"It had been in a few years," Gunn said.  "They're hoping to catch everyone off guard."

"I see.  What are we doing about it?"

"We're having a battle," Buffy quipped.  "While I'm somewhere safe with Mom and Dawn."

"Yes, I dare say you won't be able to hold a stake," Giles said, staring at her.

"I can't hold one now."

"We'll see if we can get Faith out," he decided.  He called someone.  "Mirna, Rupert Giles.  I need to send something to Travers.  We need the other slayer out of jail immediately.  No, a new one won't work.  It'll take experience and especially battle experience, which she has.  No, Buffy's rather...pregnant thanks to a government agency losing their mind."

"Roque and them destroyed them," Buffy said with a happy grin.

"I'm glad.  That way they can't do it again."  He let Wesley fax things for him since he didn't understand those machines.  "Yes, we would need details on how best to stop it as well, Mirna.  Thank you.  Yes, tell him it's imperative that we have Faith, not another one.  She's had battle experience and we'll need it."  He hung up and looked at them.  "Dear Lord, can't it end for a year?"

"No," Buffy sighed.  "Sorry?"

"No, that's fine.  We should warn Faith."

"Visiting hours are tomorrow.  I was going to go.  You can drive," Buffy said with a grin.

Giles looked at her.  "There's no way I let you behind the wheel of my car when you're not having mood swings, Buffy."  She laughed.  "Much less like this.  How is your mother?"

"She wanted to see you for lunch."  She walked him and the folder off, taking him home so her mom could fuss over him.  It was good of her mom to fuss since Buffy didn't like being fussed over right now.

Gunn and Wes shared a look.  "It was Sunnydale that did it to them.  Thankfully I only had a year there," Wesley said.

Gunn nodded.  "Did you some damage too, English."  He walked off to let the others know that Giles was back in town.  They had no idea what Xander was doing beyond decorating today.

***

Faith was let into the visitation area, spotting Giles first.  He was taller.  She walked over to the table and sat down.  "G, B.  No X?"

"He'll come next time," Buffy said, sitting up.

Faith stared, giving her a horrified look.  "How in the hell?"

"Government needle program," she said dryly.  She patted her stomach.  "So far she's a nice little girl."

"Future one?" Faith asked.

"No clue," Buffy admitted.  "But her daddy's a good guy and he's taking full custody."

"Probably safer," Faith decided, nodding slightly.  "So why the visit?"

"It's apocalypse season this spring," she said with a grin.  "And I can't be there.  I'll be eight months and a few days."

Faith moaned.  "Already?"

Giles handed her the folder.  "Yes, unfortunately."

Faith read it over, feeling her blood chill.  "It'll take more than just me.  I'm not that good."

"It'll be you, Xander, the LA team, whoever else we can get," Buffy said.  "Including maybe some military guys Xander knows and trusts, like his big brother."

Faith nodded at that.  "Could help, yeah."  She shut the folder.  "So this is fair warning?"

"I was going to pop around and check on you anyway," Buffy said with a slight pout.  "You never get to hear happy news these days and you need happy news in case they pull in dementors."

Faith smirked.  "It's not all that horrible.  No torture."  Buffy sniffled.  "But I like the visits," she said so her fellow slayer didn't have a mood swing on her.  Buffy beamed and shared all the group news with her.  Faith didn't tell her Xander had spilled some of that and introduced her to his puppy dog but that was fine.  It made Buffy happy.  Keeping Buffy happy would keep people from trying to hurt her when she had a mood swing and destroyed stuff.  Xander strolled in with dog and house pictures to cheer her up too.  So it was a good day.

***

Xander was pouting when he heard his name called and went to save Carolyn.  He appeared and stared at the woman.  "Mom, quit nagging her.  We're taking it slowly because we've both had bad relationships in the past."  He stared at her.  "You nag her one more time and I'm *so* dumping mercury into your river."  She gasped.  He stared back.  "You already helped ruin one, Mom.  Leave Carolyn alone."

"But...  She's mortal and won't last, my son."

"And I have a golden apple due to me," he shot back.  She sniffled.  "Oh no!  You want to hormone swing, go do it on John.  Real men don't get with the sniffling."  Carolyn gave him a dirty look and hugged his mother.  "If you do that, she'll keep nagging," he said quietly, pulling her away.  "We're dating, Mom.  That means we're learning about each other and if we can stand each other.  You nagging about grandchildren or things won't help that."

"You're cruel.  Like your father."

Xander stared at her.  "Huh, and yet you always said I was the best thing my father ever did."  He glared.  "Go home, Mother.  Now please.  Before you piss both of us off."  She stomped off.  He took a deep breath.  Then let it out again.  "In two days she's going to come apologize to you," he told her.  "And act like it never happened."

"She's done that before?"

"Yes.  Which is why I actually lost someone I thought I could've spent centuries with.  She drove her to suicide."  Carolyn shuddered.  "Yeah."  John stomped in.  "She was doing it again."

"You had to threaten her?"

"Yes.  She was doing it *again*."

"Damn it," he muttered.

"She also told me I'm just like my father."

John looked at him.  "I doubt it. You're not a skinny chaos god of dorks."  He sighed and went to calm her down.

"Maybe she should go home," Xander called after him.  "War zones aren't good for pregnant women."  He looked at her.  "Sorry."

"Sometimes women on extreme hormone swings do and say bad things, Xander."

He shook his head.  "No she does it when she's drunk too."  He sighed and kissed her on the forehead.  "Just hide from her until she apologizes.  She only usually does it once or twice during each time she's pregnant."  She nodded at that advice.  "If she starts again, John can distract her or I can piss her off.  That's all I seem to do."  He kissed her again and left to mope at home.  There were days he hated his family.  About an hour later, his father showed up, looking like he had been punched.  "Mom still on her hormone rip?"

"Yes.  What did you say?"

"I had to pry her off Carolyn.  She was trying what she did with 'Mina again.  I told her if she didn't stop I'd dump mercury in her river this time."  Loki sat down.  "She also tried to play the 'you're just like him' card."

"She told me that when she hit me.  Fortunately your uncle was there and got her calmed down and crying."

"Good.  Maybe it'll stop sooner this time."  He sipped his tea.  "You do remember this is Sunnydale, right?" he asked after a few minutes.  Loki moaned but couldn't phase out.  Xander took pity on him and dropped him off with Thor then went to hide some more because he heard his mother screaming.  Then the prayers started from Thor's girlfriend.  He showed up with chains and went to stop her the hard way.  "Mother!" he snapped.  She flinched.  "Quit picking on her!  He doesn't need you to kill her like you killed mine once!"  She started to cry.

"That got old *years* ago."  He stared at her.  He grabbed her, handing Thor the chains subtly, and took her home, handing her to her assistant.  "We've all had enough of her."  She gaped.  "Ask her about 'Mina sometime."  He disappeared, going to find something to slay.  Something big, something strong, something that took a fight.  Because he really wanted a fight.  Maybe some wraith?  That would even be helpful.  He grabbed his axe and went to find a battle.  Fuck if he wanted to deal with his mother.

Her assistant got Xander's mother calmed down and into bed, going to look in her diary for that name.  What she saw horrified her.  No wonder her own son had disowned her for a bit.  She took it to the other higher ups, who told her to endure.  It'd only last a few days they hoped.  Then she'd be more normal again.  Of course, her sons might not talk to her for a bit, like the last time, but perhaps they'd grown wiser.

***

Rodney looked up from the reports.  "Why is that wraith hive going but empty?"

"No clue.  Looks like they all died while in flight," Evan Lorne said.  He rubbed a hand through his hair.  "We couldn't find a single one there and had to shoot the engines to get it to stop."

John considered it.  "Xander?" he called.  No answer.  "Xander?" he called more loudly.  Roque showed up sipping a milkshake.  John stared at him.  "Not the one I called."

"He's off taking your mother's bad mood out on the wraith."

"Is that why we found a dead hive driving itself?" Evan asked.

"Not totally sure," Roque admitted.  "All I know is I tried to ask him a question yesterday and he didn't seem to see I was there."  He left.

John sighed.  "Yeah, he lost his temper and that is probably the reason.  He probably threw the pieces out an airlock or something."  Evan nodded at that.  "Maybe there's a few missing people."

"Could be, sir," Evan said.  "Should we tell his girlfriend?"

"I doubt he'd like that.  His mother's already trying to hurt them."  Evan gave him a confused look.  "She's pregnant.  She does this each time she gets pregnant.  She lets it all go on Xander and me and we just fight back and put her into her room because she's acting like a toddler.  She's actually driven one of the few good women Xander dated to jump off a castle."  Evan shuddered.  Rodney whimpered.  "So yeah, he pissed her off.  She pissed him off.  He's working out his bad mood and she's probably still crying."  He leaned back.  "These sort of moods are why I don't really enjoy going home."

"I can understand that," Evan said.  "Are you... should we guard her harder?"

"If she shows up, Carolyn knows to call me and we'll evacuate her somehow."  Evan nodded, going to talk to her.  He looked at Rodney.  "If she shows up to nag me, have an emergency?"

"Gladly.  How many do you think he'll take out?"

"I don't know.  Could be weeks.  When he lost Mina due to it, he threw a ton of salt in her river to make her sick for it and then went to kill idiots and pirates for a few years.  I'm expecting he's having a few flashbacks."

"Probably."  Rodney stood up.  "We thought you had a happier family than some of us."

"We do, when Mom's not pregnant.  Xander and I aren't truly close brothers.  Xander's got too much emotional shit from his father's people and Odin especially.  We were older when we first met, and we first met across a battle.  It was Ares who realized we were fighting each other and that was a bad thing.  He and Tyr pulled us off each other and told us we were related and how.  Mom hadn't told me at all and I was too young to remember her being pregnant.  Of course, I spent a really long time with my father that year."  Rodney grimaced but nodded.  "Since then....  I don't know if it's the miscarriages.  I have no idea what's causing it beyond the hormones.  All I know is neither of us want to be around it."

"If she shows back up, we'll figure something out."  He went to check on her.  He liked Doctor Lam a lot.

John sat back to send a prayer at Xander, which he would surely get.  He got back a warm, fuzzy feeling and Xander showed up a few minutes later looking sweaty, tired, and covered in wraith blood.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He flopped down.  "Sorry."

"No, don't be.  It's damn helpful even if it did confuse some of us.  How many?"  Xander shrugged.   John tipped his face up.  "How many hives?" he asked more quietly.

"Maybe five?  Not real sure.  I kinda lost track and 'ported between hallways so it might've been parts of others.  Not totally sure."

"She'll calm down soon."

Xander looked at him.  "She accused me of being like my father again."

"She's cranked right now."

Xander nodded.  "I can't go through this again."  He stood up.  "Let me know when she's normal."

"I can do that.  I'm hiding myself and Carolyn."  Xander gave him a weak grin and disappeared.  John got up and went to talk to the pretty young doctor himself.  "Xander got so pissed at her and the flashbacks, he went to destroy some wraith," he said in greeting.  She shuddered.  "He's off taking a shower at home."

"I don't want to break the family...." she started.

John snorted.  "Carolyn, no one is going to blame him for that.  Not only is it helpful, our mother drives both of us to it."  She gaped.  "Any damn time she's pregnant.  I'm hoping this is her final time because, like my baby brother, we can't take this anymore."  Mari and Peter walked in.  "You look stressed, Mom back?"  They nodded.  "Mari, take Carolyn to Xander's.  He's got to have protections up."  She nodded and took the doctor with her.  "Peter, is there anything we can give her?"

"A good, swift kick?"

"Chains?"

"Please," Peter said.  "I've already given my opinion on her hormone swing."  He was still scowling.

"Xander just said he didn't want to go near her until she's had this one."  He walked off.  She was crying on Evan about him being mean.  He stared at her then grabbed her and sent them both home.  He handed her to the assistants and Krishna's wife.  "Keep her here.  Neither of us are able to deal with the nagging, bitchy thing she becomes when she's pregnant.  We'll see her when she's had it."

Krishna's wife stared at him.  "Why?" she asked calmly.

"Because she drove Xander's temper so hard he went to kill wraith with his axe.  A few hives worth of wraith."  She nodded once.  "I agree.  We've done this every few centuries and neither of us can do it again.  Even Peter asked for her to be confined to her bed."  He left, going back to his city.

"It's best she rest anyway."  They put her down for a rest and it was nicer.  She quit crying while she slept.  "Clearly a daughter."

"With how she rages, it might be two daughters," Krishna's wife murmured, patting her on the stomach.  She went to tell their healer Gods and her husband.  They could watch out for her and her sons.  John's temper had looked frayed and if Xander was off killing bad things his was probably still too warm.

***

Carolyn looked around the house.  "It's really dark."  She turned on a light and found out that all the windows were presently boarded over and there were curtains overtop of it.  She looked out through a crack and grimaced.   "Not a happy view, no."   She heard a shower come on and went up to check on her boyfriend.  Xander was leaning against a wall in his shower.  She considered what to do for a second then stripped down and climbed in with him.  He flinched.  "Just me, Xander."  He turned and cuddled her.  She soothed him and helped wash off the wraith blood.  "Shh.  It doesn't scare me."

"Does me," he mumbled.

"That's fine.  That means you want control of it."  He nodded against her shoulder.  "Then we'll figure it out."  He relaxed and nodded again.  "Let's get you cleaned up.  You've got stuff in your hair."  He huffed but nodded.  "Then we can cuddle on the couch?"

"I have movies, but they're geek movies," he offered quietly, staring at her.

"I work with a whole bunch of geeks, Xander.  I don't mind geek movies."  He grinned and let her help him clean up.  It wasn't arousing but it was comforting.  He gave her some of his sweats and a comfy t-shirt, plus socks, taking her down to the tv room.  "I agree with boarding up that view.  A cemetery that close is a bit creepy."

"That's why the house was so cheap.  I mostly did it because that nearest headstone has a mirror finish and it causes a whole lot of glare."  She gave him an odd look.  "You get used to cemeteries here in Sunnydale.  There's thirteen of them.  The only houses not near one are in the millions."  She nodded she got that and they sat down to watch _Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band_, which was funny and campy.  She laughed at the same stuff he did.  It was great and comforting.  They fell asleep together to the next movie and it was nice.

***

Peter and Mari were in the infirmary talking about something over a game of chess when Xander brought Carolyn back.  "Hold it," Mari ordered.  Xander froze, staring at her.  "Carolyn, did you do anything last night?"

Peter looked her over and grinned.  "Congratulations, you two."

"We napped on the couch next to each other," Xander said.  "Nothing else.  Unless I had an unplanned god explosion again?  Did it hurt her?"  He checked her over and tipped his head to the side.  "Um, John!" he bellowed.  John came jogging in.  "You have my golden apple, right?"

"Yeah, I do.  Why?"  He looked at Carolyn, blinking a few times.  "Mine's safe, yours is safe.  How in the hell did you become immortal?"

Carolyn Lam stared at him.  "Excuse me?  I'm what?"

8: Old Ones In Love And Battles

More on the upcoming apocalypse and we see the terror that will one day be unleashed on humanity being born.

Carolyn Lam stared at him.  "Excuse me?  I'm what?"

"I'm sensing the unsubtle hand of a Love Goddess," Xander quipped.  He and John shared a look.  There were only so many who’d interrupt and it was most likely one of that small set.

"Lady Aphrodite?" John called loudly, making one of the nurses jump, especially when the bikini-clad blonde showed up with a smile and a cheek pinch for the boys.  "Lady Aphrodite, did you tamper with Carolyn last night?" he asked.

She stared at her.  "Well, it looks like it's a good match and he does need someone who can stand him."

"We haven't even slept together yet," Carolyn said firmly.  "Beyond that, I didn't want to be immortal.  I'm still considering that implication of dating Xander."  Aphrodite gave her a horrified look.  Xander hugged her.  "I know I'd have to, but ...  I'm not sure," she said more quietly to him.

"I understand very well," he assured her, kissing her on the cheek.  He looked at her.  "We may end up very close friends, Lady Aphrodite, but we've only been on a few dates.  You jumped the broom race by a lot this time."

"Oops?" she guessed.

"Can we undo it?" Carolyn asked.

Aphrodite shrugged.  "Let me ask Hera.  They're her apples."  Hera appeared before she could move.  "Oh, good," she said with a smile.

"I felt you give it to her last night and wondered why."

"We've had seven whole dates," Xander told her.  "We haven't even had sex yet, Lady Hera."  Carolyn pinched him.  "We've barely talked about sex."

Hera winced.  "Let's see how much she gave you, dear.  It might be able to be put in as making you very healthy if you didn't get a full one."  She concentrated and John fed her some energy.  "Thank you, Jonathan.  You're a very sweet boy."  She considered it.  "You mostly got the juice but it reacts very well in your system, dear."  She changed it.  "You're not immortal, though you'll probably be one of the longest lived mortals on record," she said with a smile.  "You'll heal a bit faster as well."

"Thank you," Carolyn said quietly.

Hera smiled.  "We all wish that Alexander could find someone worthy of him."

"Please don't wish," Xander moaned.

"No wish demons up here," John said dryly.

"We have three on staff," Jensen said from the doorway.  "I just made one walk off."  Hera gave him a horrified look.  Then turned it on Xander.

"I hope they didn't?  I'd want whoever I'm with to have it naturally, not a wish-enforced mate."

"No, she didn't glow or anything, Xander.  Not unless it was after she walked off."  Jensen grinned.  "News?  Clay's grumpy and so is Pooch."

"Aphrodite got a bit happy that Carolyn was helping me calm down from Mom's mood swings."

"Awww."  He grinned.  "Well, if you decide to join us, it'll be neat.  There's whole bunches of people we can tell you about."  He walked off.

Hera sighed and nodded.  "Their kind are usually quite energetic and entertaining."

Xander nodded.  "I remember since I helped in their last battle."  He grinned and kissed her on the cheek.  "Let me go check on the dog."  He disappeared.  "Have a great day, Carolyn," he whispered as he faded out.

She shivered.  "He's very...intense and yet very sweet."

John grinned.  "He is.  I taught him how to flirt.  It used to be that women in Valhalla would throw themselves at him but he never knew why."  Aphrodite giggled and disappeared.  "Thank you."  He looked at Hera.  "Would you like to see your garden, Lady Hera?"

She smiled.  "I would, Jonathan."  She took his arm and brought the pretty young doctor with her to talk to her about Alexander.  She adored that boy.  She had almost talked Zeus into adopting him.  She wanted the best for the brothers.  She'd have to check on that doctor's line to see if Aphrodite had jumped the gun or not.

***

Elsewhere, both on earth and on Atlantis, the wish demons of all types heard a wish requested by a higher power that they knew not to piss off.  D'Hoffryn and the other heads of the wish demon types all urged caution but they'd have to put their back behind that one.  Alexander was too important to piss off.  They might all die.  That might be bad for them and humanity.

The ones who knew him weren't surprised the senior Goddess was frustrated with his dating life.

One even went to taunt Thor in New York, unfortunately during a battle.  So he didn't exactly hear what he needed to before he slammed his hammer into that one's head.

***

Xander woke up from his nap and looked around his bedroom.  "I really do have to decorate some day soon," he said dryly.   He got up and showered then went to make breakfast, finding he had a visitor.  He stared at her.  "Back again?" he finally asked.

"I...."  Anya swallowed.  "I was dumb."

"Yup."  He turned away to get stuff for breakfast.  He was in emotional, soul deep pain.  His dog came running in from the newly fenced in back yard and growled at her.  "Hellion," he warned.  The dog kept barking and growling at her.  He looked at him.  "What is wrong with you?"  He picked him up but the dog kept growling at her.  "I'm not dating her, Hellion.  She's a selfish bitch who walked off crying because oh my god, I got injured."  He put him into the living room and found another surprise guest.  "Hey, Buff."

"Hi."  She petted the dog, who sniffed her and barked in a more friendly manner.  "I let her in."

He went back to fixing breakfast.  "I need to paint."

"With the way the hellmouth could fall in any day now are you sure you want to?" Buffy asked, following him back to his breakfast making.

"Even Carolyn said it was dark and dreary," he said dryly.  "It's really hard to get your woo on when she's thinking Addams Family thoughts."

"Good point.  You could use a few good coats of paint."  She grinned.  "So anyway....."  He looked at her.  "Wish demons all over had a minor freak out last night."

"Why now?" he sighed.  "Nothing pinged me."

"I think it was about you," Anya said dryly.  "Someone made a wish for you to find a happy mate."

He looked up.  "Leave Carolyn alone!" he shouted.  "If it happens, it'll happen naturally, not with Goddess, God, or demon help!"  He went back to his scrambled eggs.  "So, anyway, Buffy, should you even be in Sunnydale?"

"Yeah, Giles warded me so I could come at least be present and make sure nothing too big was going to go down.  Even though I can't fight," she said when he stared at her.  "You can fight for me though."  She smirked.  "I'll just tell you 'go beat up that demon for me'."

He snorted.  "I've heard that many times," he said dryly.

She pinched him on the arm.  "I asked some of the demons.  You've been alive a really long time."  He nodded.  "Like older than the US."  He nodded again.  "Older than even England maybe."  He nodded again.  "You are?"

"Yeah.  I'm a lot older than they think.  I didn't get sent to make friends for Valhalla until the Supposed Ones tried to take over our spots and created a war between pantheons to do it.  I was barely into my adulthood then.  That's when I found out I had a brother and my father handfasted me to Roque to stop the fucking thing."  She shivered.  He shrugged.  "We weren't happy about it but it's our duty.  Now, I'm even less pleased about those sort of things."  Hellion came back and barked some more.  "Why do you have whipped cream on your nose?" he asked his dog.

"Oops, my coffee," she said as she went to get it and come back.  "Drained it totally, dog.  That's mean.  It was even decaf."

"We can get you some on the way to the hardware store for paint," he said dryly.

"Thank you."  She hugged his arm.  "Your mom didn't tell you?"

"Odin claimed me so as soon as I could I got sent to live with my dad.  I visited a lot but she never managed to tell me about John.  He's not that much older than I am."

"Huh."  She sat down at the table in there.  "You need a whole paint job and rearranging in here too, Xander."

"Yeah but I can't do that with my powers until I arrange to have the temple done," he quipped.  He glared at Anya, who huffed.  "I'm still not unpissed at you."  He turned back to his egg making.  "You so pissed me off you're lucky you're not ashes, Anya.  There's plenty that offered to help me that night."  She disappeared.  He looked at his friend.

"She wanted to apologize," Buffy said dryly.

"She took one look at me and walked off sobbing like I was now horribly wrong somehow," he said dryly.  "The only reason she came back is I'm under a potential curse that I'll kill about."  He put down plates for them.  She smiled and dug in.  He sat down and ate his own breakfast.  "Wanna help me paint?"

"Sure."  She ate a bite, staring at him.  "They're seriously scared of whoever wished, Xander."

Xander felt around and nodded.  "Hera can do that to someone's balls.  She's scared the crap out of me a few times too."  He ate another bite.  "Thankfully we don't need alignment marriages.  Or else I'd have put Dawn up to one very protective warrior sort."  He smirked.

Buffy shook her head.  "She'd ruin someone like that."

"She'd tease them into doing more than practicing."

"Exactly and then she'd have to have the sex too, which would be bad for her."

"She's the same age you were when you started to see Angel."

"Which should be a huge 'no, don't do that' signpost," she countered.  He stared at her, smirking slightly.  "You hush."

"Fine."  He ate a bite and chewed.  "Want me to introduce her without pressure?"

"No!"  She kicked him under the table.  "Eww!  She's too young until she's twenty-something."

Xander snorted.  "I doubt that'll stick," he said dryly.  "Even from your mother."

"Mom's being totally unreasonable and reminded me of Angel too."  He smirked harder.  She kicked him again.  "I reminded her how that turned out."

"I told you he wasn't a good guy to crush on."

"Hush."

"Fine."  They finished breakfast and he cleaned up then took her to the hardware store, with a stop for her decaf with whipped cream.  He hoped he never got pregnant and got cravings.  It'd be too weird and probably ruin his diet.

***

Dawn looked at her bosses, staring at the fighting, fussing people.  She whistled.  "We have more important things to argue about."  They both glared.  She huffed.  "Fine, I won't mention that the Hulk's hugely green and going against a robot."  She pointed.  "Not like my sister's here to handle it."  Tony looked and called over their communications system.  Hulk didn't use them but Thor did and he was probably heading up to help too.  He sighed and went to get into his suit.

Pepper snorted, shaking her head.  "Sometimes you have to browbeat men, Dawn."

"And sometimes you have to humor them and change their thinking a different way," she quipped.  "He's more stubborn than Xander and telling Xander no tends to get more mule headed problems.  Pull a Buffy and do it her way."

Pepper grimaced.  "I don't think I can do that.  I don't have bimbo switch like she does."  Dawn snickered, shaking her head.  "Besides, he'd realize he was being manipulated."

Dawn stared at her.  "You're better than that."

Pepper smirked.  "Yes I am."  She walked past her.  "Let's go see what sort of damage is being done this time."

"You know, insurance companies must hate him."  She followed.  "Do they sell riders for superhero caused damage?"

"Not yet but I'm sure someone will sometime soon," Pepper said.  "I should tell a former classmate that idea."  She smirked at her assistant.  "Where's your mother today?"

"Outpatient chemo."

"Wonderful news."  Dawn beamed back.  "Hopefully she'll be done with that soon."

"We think so.  They're doing another scan today since Mom's records from the city have the surgery listed.  They'll tell her in the next few days.  She's got an appointment with the oncologist in three days."  She felt something and flinched.  "Oh, shit, that's got to be sucky.  It's heading for a children's hospital."  She ran to the window and stared.  The robot was going to fire on it and Thor was going to be slammed into it by the beam.  She concentrated, pulling up her magic.  A shield went up around the building.  Thor slammed into it and Dawn flinched but held it long enough for him to fly off it.  Then it dropped.  "Ow," she said then passed out.

Pepper stared.  "Well, young lady, perhaps we have to have a talk about that," Pepper said.  She got their medics on staff for Tony's battle injuries to come get Dawn and called Tony while they picked her up.  "That shield was Dawn and she's down.  She said that's a children's hospital, Tony."  She hung up and followed the paramedics.  She glanced out the windows down there, wincing that they couldn't get the robot moved.  She called Xander.  "Xander, Dawn had to hold a shield over a hospital.  Giant robot," she sighed.  "Thank you.  Yes, he's there too."  She hung up.  Then she called Joyce to warn her Dawn was fine, just asleep for a nap from that.  That way she couldn't worry.  Joyce proved she had special mom powers about Dawn getting into trouble more than once.

***

Xander hung up.  "Gotta go help the uncle," he said, putting down his paint roller.

"Go.  I can work on this."

"Cool."  Xander flashed himself to New York, staring at the robot.  "Yo, stupid, that's a children's hospital.  Move your stupid bitch ass out of the way!"  Thor gave him a horrified look.  The robot tried to step on him so he shot power up it.  It shook and pieces started to fall off.  Including some of the panel armor.  Xander considered it then nodded.  "Call lightening, Thor.  It's mechanical."  He did that and the robot fried.  The guy inside fried too.  Xander shook his head.  "They need to sell insurance for you guys."  He went back to his painting.  It was helping Buffy to nest since she didn't have a place to clean and fix up for the baby.  Since he'd probably end up babysitting at least once she might as well set one up in his place.

***

Thor looked at Stark.  "Would that work on your suit?"

"It'd short me out but I have things to account for possible lighting strikes.  Did he do that before?"

"Yes, before I got my hammer back from Odin there was a battle.  He did it then with her."  They stared at the robot.  "You need to build shields so Dawn doesn't have to.  I'm sure that gave her a headache."

"Pepper said she's taking an unscheduled nap."  They shot the robot's human operator and he flailed then went down.  "Good."  He heard sirens.  "Cops."

"Let us go get the just rewards of a good battle well fought then."  They disappeared to their various female fussy people to be bitched at and then pampered stupid, as heros should have.  He heard Stark yelp over the comm system but smiled and shook his head.  Pepper could be mean when she wanted to be.  She reminded him of some of his aunts.

Though he'd never tell her that.  He liked his skin in the condition it was in, not flayed or turned into ribbons from her nails.

Tony Stark walked into the infirmary inside the Avenger's building, staring at the bed.  "She passed out?"  The suit retreated with the take-off station in there.

"The shield was a bit too much for her so she passed out," Pepper said.

"We need to figure out how to build portable ones for the local officers.  I'll work on that later."  He came over to stare at her.  "She'll be fine?"

"Just fine."  She smiled.  "Though Joyce is swearing if she turns into Willow she's going to beat her senseless."

"Dawn has sense and doesn't need more power.  Or so we thought."

"She didn't tap into anything but her personal reserves.  No hint of green," Pepper said.

"Wonderful!  So she won't get too accustomed to it."  Pepper shook her head.  "Even better.  Take her out for a walk later in the park.  It'll probably help the headache."

"I can do that.  Fury wanted a report."

"Of course," he sighed.  He went to do that.  Though he left out Dawn's part.  He was wise enough and skilled enough in politics to know that if Dawn showed that sort of gift, Fury would be on her to use it for the Avengers team.  Or like Black Widow had.  Which would suck for the girl.  She was only sixteen.  He found Black Widow in his office.  "Dawn is not to be mentioned."

"I don't take those sort of orders but I'd never do that to a child.  Especially not a happy child," she said, staring at him.  He nodded.  "I am stepping up her training."

"Talk to her mother for permission."

"Fury said...."

Tony shook his head.  "Joyce will rip his insides out and cackle.  You have to ask Joyce's permission, Sonya."  He smirked.  "Even Xander doesn't like to upset Joyce."

She snorted.  "Pepper has custody."

"No she doesn't.  She has guardianship."  She moaned, shaking her head.  "For that matter, I'd check with Buffy too because Buffy's going to kill whoever makes her supposedly normal sister fight."

"She's not like us."

"She's not.  She's a destined hero.  She knows how sucky this job can be.  Has for years."  He stared at her.  "If we have to protect Dawn so be it."  She walked off shaking her head.  "I'd hate to see what Dawn would change her into," he muttered.

"Done," a female voice said.

Stark called a number he had recently put into his phone.  "Rosenburg's doing something?"  He hung up and got to work on his short, limited detail report.  He called Xander.  "You may not know the answer to this but if Rosenburg turned someone into a cat and we put her to death what happens?"  He winced at the 'she'll stay that way'.  "Thanks."  He hung up and called Fury back.  "Xander said you if you kill her before she changes Black Widow back from the cute, fluffy little black kitten she currently is hissing in the mirror at, she'll stay that way."  He hung up and finished his report, sending it off.  Fury was going to be too busy torturing Willow to make her change Black Widow back.  "Pepper, bad news.  Your other assistant is a kitten," he called as he walked past her office.

"Excuse me?" she called.  She got to her door in time to see Stark disappear around a corner and went to check.  Sure enough, Tony's office had a hissing, spitting black kitten.  "Oh, Sonya," she sighed, picking it up.  The kitten hissed at her too.  She stared at it.  "Keep it up.  Dawn can have a pet."  The cat settled down.  "We'll talk to Tara about changing you back."  She called her to do that.  Tara said if Willow did it she had to undo it.  She wasn't as powerful and no one probably was outside Hecate.  She called Xander to ask his opinion and he said Hecate was swearing at her but Willow had really put some power into it so only she could undo the spell.  Pepper hung up, looking at the kitten on the desk.  "We'll go talk to Willow.  That way you can claw her to death."  She took her up to the hell carrier.

Fury gave the cat a horrified look.  "She'll gut us for seeing her like that."

"Quite possibly," Pepper said with a smile.  "Xander's checked, even Hecate can't undo it."

"Fuck," he muttered, stomping back down to her cell.  It was time to torture her.  And he had just the place to start.  The cat got tossed on her and she screamed as it clawed her.  "Then change her back!"

"I can't!" Willow wailed.  "I'd been storing power for weeks!  She was going to turn Dawn into her!"

The two adults sighed and let Black Widow work her over some more.  It was nice the cat was taking out her frustration.

***

Dawn squealed when Pepper handed her the cute and cuddly little kitten, snuggling it under her chin and petting it.  "Awww!  You got me a kitten?" she asked with a grin.

"No, Willow got you a kitten."  Dawn paused in her petting then went back to it, giving her a look.  "That's Sonya."

"As in your scary other semi-assistant and Stark-sitter for Fury?"

"Yes."  She sat beside her bed in the infirmary.  "She was going to... insert herself into your training."

"I don't want to be a spy.  That lifestyle sucks and people try to use you to sexpionage and things."

"That's one reason not to let her, yes.  Apparently Willow overheard her ideas and changed her the day she was due to be put down."

"So you can't because she'll stay this way," Dawn said with a smirk.  Pepper nodded.  "Huh.  Has Mommy seen Willow yet?"

"We let Sonya have her for a good hour.  It took her another hour and a half to get all the blood and skin off her claws."

Dawn smirked at the cat.  "My mother's going to do the same thing to you for even *thinking* about that idea," she assured her, but petted her anyway.  "I wouldn't mind following Pepper but I'll never be the snazzy spandex wearing girl you are, Sonya."  She smiled at Pepper.  "Can I do that?"

"Definitely," she said with a smile.  "We can easily set you up to do what I'm doing with someone nicer than Tony."  They shared a smile.  "Ready to go to the park?  Tony suggested we do that."  Dawn nodded and got up, taking the cat with her.  They got her a pretty collar and harness kit, plus a nice black sweater.  Which the cat hated but yay!  It made sure they could go for a walk in the park.  Pepper was amused but Dawn and Sonya hadn't always gotten along.  Dawn got why Sonya was so intense and sometimes scary but Sonya had no idea about why Dawn was still a happy person.

Tony smirked when they came back with fat free frozen yogurt cones and a pouty cat.  He petted the kitten's head.  "We'll make her change you back as soon as we can."  The cat hissed but he just smirked.  "Remember, now you're able to sneak around in different ways."  He walked off.

Dawn looked back.  "You're missing sparring."

"Yup, heading there now, Miss Nag."

"Thank you.  Can't have the guys who save our butts getting flabby butt syndrome," she quipped back.  "Then you'd never fit into the suit."

He snorted, staring at her.  "I'd never let myself get that bad."

"Don't tempt him to start doing something to look like a bodybuilder.  He'll have to build another suit and test it too," Pepper said, smiling at her evil little protege.  "Then we'll see more accidents."  Dawn snickered, she had seen the last one and helped him suffer through the concussion and sprained ankle.

"I'd never let myself get that big.  I'd look dumber than I am."  He walked off shaking his head but smirking.  He'd have to tell his trainer and Howdy that joke.  And about the new compound cat.

***

Xander showed up later that night when Tara yelped, looking at the mean looking guy staring at her.  He punched him and knocked him down.  "Let me make this very clear, dude.  Tara is like a sibling to me.  The same as Dawn is.  You touch them and I'll make you demon toothpaste."  He stared at him.  He hugged Tara.  "Dawn's freaking out why?"

"Willow's last moment of life's action," she said quietly.

"I heard," he moaned.  "And then a few of them decided to show up to nag *me* about *her* shit."  Tara moaned, shaking her head.  "Exactly."  He looked at the woman walking their way.  "Hey."  He looked at Tara again.  "So, I've had Buffy nesting by painting half my house today."  She giggled.  "I made her dinner for it since Hellion kept trying to help by painting with his tail."

"She sent me video of it."  She smiled.  "Stark wanted to ask you a question."

"Sure, I'm here.  I'm avoiding the paint smell for dinner."  The female cleared her throat.  "We're not ignoring you.  You can jump into the conversation if you want, ma'am."

"Why is he on the ground?"

"Because he was menacing this nice young woman who is like my sibling.  So I punched him."

"We're agents," she said dryly.

He smirked.  "That's nice.  I'm a God, sweetheart."  She snorted in derision.  "Fury?" he called, spotting him.  "What did Stark want?"

"To see if he could breed Hellion to his patrol dogs I think," he said, walking that way.  He saw what was going on and shrugged.  "He boring Tara by hitting on her?"  She shuddered but shook her head.  "I knew the idiot wasn't that smart but really."  He looked at her.  "This is Thor's nephew Xander.  God of Protectors."

She gaped.  "They're actually Gods?" she demanded.

"Yeah," Xander said with a smirk.  "Loki's my father."

Thor walked up behind him and clapped him on the back.  "It's good you're more sane than your father ever was, nephew."  He nodded at Tara.  "My sisters would more than welcome you coming up to pet their steeds, Tara.  They think you'd make a good valkyrie as well."

"With the way they treat some of the women up there?" Xander snorted.  "I'd have to go up and teach women's lib with Buffy."

Thor looked at him.  "My female associate said much the same."  He looked at Tara.  "Their steeds are mightily spoiled.  They have not been properly exercised or groomed recently."

She smiled.  "I wouldn't mind but I can't handle the whole battle and ale bearing thing."

Thor nodded.  "As I'd expect.  My sisters are women of olden days and mores."  He walked off, stepping over the one on the ground.  "He will not flirt with her again, Xander.  What was Hellion doing that made her giggle?"

"Trying to help Buffy paint with his tail."

Thor snickered.  "Dogs are strange and yet helpful.  I'm glad we don't have many mutts in Asgard."  He turned the corner.

Xander shook his head.  "Sometimes but he's a Greek dog."

Tara giggled.  "He's a good dog, no matter what his nationality is."

"Most of the time."  He looked at the confused looking woman and guy on the floor.  "Yeah, that was Thor."  He looked at her.  "If you want to go pet the horses, I'll bring you up."  She smiled and nodded so he took her up.  "Magrid!" he bellowed, summoning one of the younger cousins.  She came jogging out.  "This is Tara.  Tara is *very* much like my baby sister."

"We won't let the warriors pick on her, Alexander."  She smiled.

"Or flirt," Xander ordered.  "She's a nice girl who likes girls."

Magrid nodded quickly.  "We'll be nice to her, cousin."

"Thank you.  They were going to let her pet the flying beasts."

"Okay.  It's getting me out of dinner."  She took Tara to the stables, helping her with the pegasi and other horses.

Xander went home and went back to painting.  Before Buffy painted part of his house rose pink.  He managed to get three whole hours of sleep before he was woken by someone screaming his name.  He appeared there before he fully woke up, yawning some.  He stared at the being and called his axe, cutting its head off.  "How did a wraith get here?"

"That's what I was going to ask you!" Fury shouted, stomping toward him.  "I know it didn't come back on the damn ship!"

Xander considered it.  "Roque?" he called, bringing him shirtless and sweaty.  "Get John for me?"  He pointed at the corpse.  Roque shuddered but did that.  "John, is he a known one?"

"Yeah, that's the one you brought to Lam at the Mountain."  He stared.  "How did it get out?"

"I'll fucking well find out!" Fury said hotly, starting to call people.  "It stays," he said when John squatted next to it.  "I want the proof on hand."

"Sure," John agreed.  "I'm trying to see if he's got weapons."

"Damn it, I don't care where the fuck O'Neill is!  I want him on this phone now!" Fury shouted.

Xander smirked and got Jack O'Neill, bringing him, his fishing rod, and beer.  "Him, Fury?"

"Yes, him!"  He hung up and stomped over.  "How did the wraith you had down for testing, in custody!  Get free!"  He pointed at it.

"How did it get free?" he demanded.

Xander tapped him on the shoulder.  "We *all* want to know that.  How many did you have?"

"Just him, thank God."  He pulled out his own phone to call.  "Damn it," he muttered.  "I want General Landry!  Xander!"

"Really?" he asked dryly.  He checked.  "I can't find him, O'Neill.  I don't have him marked and I can't find him."

"I can," John said.  "I marked him."  Xander took him to find him.  They took him from his kitchen, John nice enough to shut off his oven for him.  "Here, sir."  He handed him over.

"How in the hell did the captive wraith get free?" O'Neill demanded.

Landry looked at the corpse and glared then at him.  "How did it get here?"

"That's what *we* want to know!" Fury said.  He glared at the generals.  "Who had it last?"

"It was transported to Area 51," Landry told him.  "For testing and examination."

"Great, so it was the remaining weenies," Xander said dryly.  "Just what we need."

Jack shook his head.  "Definitely a shared response, kid.  Relax."

"I am relaxed."  He yawned again.  Roque showed up with Clay.  "Guys, the one they had me bring them somehow got from Arizona to here.... which I'm assuming is New York City."  Fury nodded.

"So we have bodies all the way over?" Clay asked.

"No idea," Xander admitted.  "It would've had to feed to get healthy after whatever they did."

"It was nearly starved when we transferred it," Landry admitted.

"Who's bright idea was it to move it?" Fury asked.

"The president's," Landry said.

"That's it, the man is going in for a mind control check," he complained, calling someone to set that up for him.

Xander looked at John.  "What do fed-on people feel like?"

"That's not a bad idea," Roque admitted.  They both searched for someone that felt that drained.  Nothing.  Roque shook his head when Xander did.  "Only here," Roque agreed.

"I found one about two blocks that way," Xander said with a point.

Tony Stark landed, putting his suit's visor up.  "There's three dead bodies there.  College kids from the clothes.  One's nearly skeletal and ancient, the other two look old."  He stared at the body then at Xander.  "I'm tapped into the local PD band and JARVIS said there's been no other reports.  There was a lighting strike report."

"So unless we have highlanders, we know where he appeared," Jack said.  He was starting to get very pissed off.  "And he had to have been beamed."

"Probably," Tony agreed.  "Ours is locked down.  It's restricted to seven people.  It's got a DNA key."

"It can't be hacked," Fury agreed.  "We made damn sure."

Jack nodded.  "Okay, then it had to be SGC beaming."

"No," Xander said.  "There's that guy in Norway that was working on beaming that disappeared.  Willow was pouting because she was hoping he managed it.  They made him disappear over a year ago."

"Kindes," Stark said.  "I tried to recruit him.  He disappeared about a year and three months ago.  Totally packed up his house and moved him without anyone knowing."

Fury grimaced.  "How many other scientists have disappeared that way?"

"That I know of, four," Tony said.  "Two theoretical physicist sorts, him, and a chemical engineer."

Xander considered it.  "They'd need more than that unless one had biological experience."

"We can search," Fury decided.  "This is where I could use Widow's contacts."

Xander looked at him.  "Still can't get Willow to change her back?"

"No!  Damn bitch."

"Well, yeah, could've told you that," Xander said dryly.   "I'm still wondering why I got bitched at for her doing it."

Fury snorted.  "Because someone has no sense.  Goddess or not."  He glared at Landry.  "I want all the information on that transfer.  That way I can find who else I get to have killed."

"Of course.  I'd like the same thing."  Xander took him back to the base and waited, taking that back to Fury's office.  Then he sent John there to listen subtly.  John could disguise himself pretty easily.  It was a skill he was born with.

"I thought we got rid of them all," Jack complained.

Roque shrugged.  "We can go kill more motherfuckers if we need to.  I haven't had to maim or gut anyone in weeks."

Jack smiled.  "Don't try to cheer me up with tempting NID bodies, Roque.  You and Clay go back to the base."  That got a nod and they left.  He looked at Fury.  "Can you find out if they did anything to it?"

"Of course I am.  You'll be the first one I tell."

"Thank you."  He shook his hand.  "Kid, can I go home to pack up for the night?"  Xander took him back.  Then he came back to the site.

"Go home," Fury ordered calmly.

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Yell if you need me."  He yawned again as he disappeared.

Fury looked at his people.  "I want it in autopsy ASAP.  Let's see what other surprises they left for us."

"Freeze!  NYPD!" a male voice shouted.

"Federal Agents, go have a donut," Fury said, waving his badge.  "It's classified."  His people got them all back to the hell carrier to go over the autopsy.  Stark went back to his 'can't sleep flying test' and the rest of them went over what wraith did in case they got down here.  The Avengers would have to help with that.  It couldn't all be Xander's job.

The cops were left blinking and trying to figure out how to explain this to their bosses.

***

"So, what's all this about *Gods*?" the guy Xander had punched demanded, trying to stay calm.

Thor looked at him.  "I am no mere immortal.  Neither are most of my family.  My nephew recently had his full gifts manifest and was ascended by popular vote of all pantheons since they like him so much.  What did you expect the grandson and son of Odin to be?"

"Um... hysterical freaks with mental issues?" he guessed.

Thor snorted.  "One day you too shall see the greater powers beyond even my fragile control."  His hammer disappeared.  "I do wish he would stop that borrowing habit."  Xander appeared and handed it back smelling like smoke.  "Was it a worthy cause?"

"NID weenies trying to blow up Sunnydale.  Because apparently Willow didn't do enough damage," he said dryly.  "You can tell Fury they're begging for him instead of me."  He disappeared again.

"How do you use that infernal calling device?" he muttered, walking over to it.

"Fury, Xander just took Thor's little hammer to beat the shit out of some NID weenies!" Dawn yelled from the doorway.

"Yay him!  Have him deliver them," Fury yelled back.  "That way I don't have to take the extra energy to go stomp them there."  Thor kindly thought that at his nephew and suddenly a shadow started to vomit crying people.  Most of whom could not walk and had multiple broken or bleeding things.  Fury walked in.  "Thank you, Xander.  Brief them on your shit this spring while I interrogate."

Xander pointed.  "Team leader.  His 2IC.  His geek," he said with a final point.  "Two left there but they're in really bad shape and the local cops wanted them."  He shrugged and went to get the file then came back.  "This is all we've found out.  Every time I ask someone they get this look like they'd rather leave the planet and plane than see me at that battle.  So no one's talking."  He grimaced.  "We know it's still going on because you guys tried to stop some of their shipments of needed things recently."

Roque walked out of the same corner and flopped down.  "I've been asking and can't find a damn thing either."

"Well, the good thing is that property values in LA are going to go down soon," Xander quipped.  "So maybe I'll buy a second house."  Roque snorted, shaking his head.  "Nice condo so I can woo from there?  Carolyn was kinda freaked out by the cemetery view."

"That's all Sunnydale has," Roque said dryly.

"Good point."  The woman that had helped the night before raised her hand.  "What?"

"What, exactly, are they doing?"

"Fury, do they have a high enough rating to know what John does?" he called.

"No.  Tell them anyway."

"Okay."  Xander got stuff from Pepper and Dawn then came back to go over both briefings.  "This is the thing from last night."  They all stared at it, one nodding slightly.  "This is what it does to people."  He showed them that film and a few turned green.  "John, who came with Roque last night, and Jack O'Neill deal with those things.  And other bad aliens that want to subjugate humanity.  Dawn, Buffy, and I handle the demonic things that're already here to kill and subjugate humanity."  He turned on that briefing.

"Only you guys?" she asked.

"No, there's a group in England who hates it when people jump in to handle what they decided was their duty to turn young women into teenage warrior women with super skills."

"Where might they be?" she asked patiently.

"Well, Buffy's presently trying to convince her mother to let her paint her apartment while she nests.  She's the one the NID did the needle stick on from Stark's panties."  She blushed and moaned.  Her boyfriend or whoever whimpered and shook his head with a muttered 'wrong'.  Xander smirked.  "The other's in jail for a friendly fire incident.  She staked a human that got thrown at her during a fight with vamps.  Both of which were called at fifteen."  They all stared at him.  He stared back.  "Which is why it's a pretty unanimous hatred of the group in England."  They all nodded they could see that point.  "This spring, and it's almost always a spring thing with the demonic, it's in downtown LA."  He beamed.  "They're going to open a portal and vomit a plane into that city."

"And you're the lucky schmucks who have to help him," Roque said dryly.

"Awww, and who's my bestest warrior with knives," Xander cooed at Roque.

Roque snorted.  "I know how to use a sword.  I can do that."

"Bring it as backup.  We think we can blow the heads off.  We'll need someone to take down the portal as well."

"Oooh," he said, shifting because of the happy thoughts.  "Yeah, I can do that."

"I was going to bring Rodney and Carolyn to a demon plane full of peaceful ones I know later.  Rodney because he clearly needed a vacation and Carolyn as a date.  We could hopefully find some more intel there."

"She'd hate that.  The food sucks there, Xander."

"Point.  So maybe a picnic?"

Roque nodded.  "Could work but I have no idea how to do mushy things."

Xander smirked.  "I remember."  Roque reached over to hit him on the arm.  He grinned.  "Do you know how many people have suggested I take in Jensen?"

"I can't see that."

"Jensen said one of us would have to grow breasts and he's not sure he could keep going on missions with them.  Someone might try to cop a feel to make me destroy them."  Roque cackled, shaking his head.  "Pooch heard one of those and just walked off moaning."

"At least you could wear each other out," Fury complained.  "If you turn him into a girl at least the kids will be brilliant and strong."  Xander beamed at him.

"We'd never get them to do anything," Roque assured him.  "Jensen's the stubbornest motherfucker outside of me.  And him.  He might even beat Xander at stubborn."  He looked at his former buddy.  "If you want to, you'd have my blessing but I'd ask Cougar and Clay."

"I can do that if I decide to take the very bright hint.  Aphrodite put a glowing, neon flashing lights, sign above my bed when I woke up this morning to suggest it."

"Love gods," Roque said with a shudder.

"Yeah."  He looked at the group.  "We've all been mining contacts.  Black Widow was as well but... well.... Dawn's cat can't exactly talk to her contacts right now."

"So magic's real?" one of them asked.

"Yeah, haven't you seen Rosenburg in the jail?"  He gave him an odd look.  "That's why I'm missing the eye, dude.  She blew up half the town in a magical hissy fit."

"Which is why she's in the jail," Roque agreed.  "Why is she still alive?"

"Her last day she turned Black Widow into that cute, fluffy cat that keeps trying to make Dawn spar."

"Eh," he said, shaking his head quickly.  "Can't be undone?"

"Nope, and for some reason Hecate came to complain at *me* about her."

"Figures," he muttered.  "That whole 'it's not my job' thing biting her on the ass again."  Xander nodded.  "John?"

"Thought she'd make pretty kittens."  Fury moaned, shaking his head quickly.  "Especially since one of the dragon ambassadors that showed up turned Ronon into a hunting cat for a few hours.  Until Jensen and Radek made him *real* damn sorry for it."

"They'd be warrior cats," Roque decided, ducking the thrown set of handcuffs Fury launched at his head.  "They would be!"

"I can find a way to lock you in ice like they did to Captain America," Fury assured him.

"His mate would mind," Xander quipped.  "I spent a lot of time and energy putting them together."

"I still can't believe you did it that way," Roque complained.  Xander just gave him a smug look.  "He suits me though, better than you would have."  Xander nodded with a grin.

"Hold on, you two were together?" the guy asked.

"Arranged marriage to stop a battle," Xander told him.  "Which I walked away from before it could be finished because Roque's an asshole.  His current consort suits him more."

"Mate," Roque growled.  "They made sure of it."

"Teammates are like that," Xander quipped.  "So are packs."

"Good point."  He stared at him.  "What did get you anyway?"

"Hyena possession."

Roque shook his head again.  "You needed sanity."

"Well, yeah," he snorted.  "And now I'm here."  He waved a hand around.  "Aren't you so proud?"

"That you survived."  He got back to the briefing, going over what he knew.   LA was going to be a wreck for weeks afterward if they didn't get it stopped sooner.  Thor came in to listen as well, telling the other demigods about it so they could find more information among their contacts.

Heimdall appeared and nodded at his kin.  "Nephew."

"Heimdall."  He shook his hand and accepted a hug.  "These are some of Thor's new coworkers in the Avengers."  They got a nod.  "Battle?"

"Odin wants you to prove your godhood on an attack."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Frost or fire?"

"Fire," he said dryly.

"Fine.  I'll be right back, people.  Shouldn't take me more than an hour."  He and the other God left.

Thor looked at Roque.  "The speculation still exists."

"I know," he said dryly.  "Should see my twin step-fathers."  Thor snorted, shaking his head.  "Political to cement an alliance.  My mother already has them wrapped around her ankles."  He smirked.  "Two rainforest Gods."

"Aww," Thor said dryly.  "Young and uptight.  She must have great fun teaching them."

"Probably, yeah."  He shifted to go over the wraith problems better.  Since he knew all about them.  He had even subtly followed Clay on a few raids.

Xander came back sweaty and smoking around the edges.  His t-shirt had a few browned spots from fire.  He put his axe on the table then walked off.  "Let me shower off the fire god drool."

Thor leaned back to watch him walk off.  "Drool?"

"Their Queen, Thor."

"Never mind," he muttered, sitting up again.  "Apparently his draw for dangerous things still exists."

Roque nodded.  "Clearly, yeah."  They got snacks until Xander came back.  "You good, kid?"

"I'm only six years younger than you, Roque.  Quit calling me a kid before I have my dog castrate you."  They shared a look and Roque smirked.  Xander sneered.  "Really."

"Odin get on you again?" he asked dryly.

"Yup, and Dad.  Damn the things you learn in India about weather control."  He grimaced.

"Did Odin All Father say you had killed so many frost giants that you were turning into one?" Thor asked.

"No, Dad did.  He's nicely in a huge ass ball of immortal ice presently.  It'll take someone *really* nice to end the magic enhancing the strength of it from the outside.  Odin's laughing but he hasn't realized he's now impotent forever more until he manages to find the virgin, male, two-headed goat with the blond mane that's to be born in Tibet some decade far in the future."  They shared a look.  "By the way, Frigg is giggling her ass off like she's taken something."

"The women would enjoy that probably," he said mildly.  "There were some that wondered if you fighting with your father and Odin was the real start of Ragnarok."

"No, I just got tired of their shit."  He sat down.  "Where were we?"

"Boy!" Odin yelled as he appeared.

Xander threw something at him, making him scream as the tiny demon started to eat his nose.  "Yes?" he asked dryly.  "Did you forget I learned more than Norse ways?"  He stared at him.  "Go.  Away.  Before I finish cooling down from the battle with you."  Odin stomped over but Thor took him home to settle the peace.  "Sorry you had to see that but my grandfather considers me a blight, which is why I have godhoods from all the other pantheons and not my own."  He shrugged.  "I'm sure he and his future goat consort will be quite pleased."  Roque burst out laughing.  "Pity but you don't pick on me and decide it's my fault someone decided to raid Valhalla to get men.  Especially since they were all disgusted by how small they were."  Roque nearly fell out of his chair.  "Anyway.  Where were we?"

"What sort of demons are coming?" Roque asked with a smirk.

"As far as we know, they're flesh eaters.   They think we taste like chicken.  We're some of their favorite food and they're out of their favorite food on their plane so they've been having to make due with each other for a very long time.  All the silicone parts in LA would probably only be seasoning to them but once they got to the free nature hippies upstate they'd have a huge party with their buffet.

"The ideal is to stop them before they take over LA, hopefully by closing the portal and killing them within six blocks of it.  Roque, that day I need a reason to clear the people around Wolfram and Hart's building.  Gas leak, something.  Just get all the tasty, running happy meals to go."  Roque nodded.

"Use whoever you need to for that.  Guys, that day be prepared to blow them up, blow the portal up, and take their heads off.  As far as any of the demonic knowing book geeks know it's a beheading thing to kill them.  However you want to do that.  I'll have my axe and probably my old scythes.  They're easier in a battle than a full axe.  Plus some backup swords if we need some."

"I'll start with a large caliber shotgun and heavy duty shells plus my old sword as backup," Roque told him.  Xander nodded.  "We can get them those if their special weapons won't help."

"Beheading I can rig up something to do a laser," Stark said from the doorway.

"As long as it'd only hurt them and not us," Xander quipped.

"Good point.  How do you close a portal?"

"You implode the structure and then puncture it with a lot of energy," Roque said.  "I shut one back in the eleven-fifties that nearly killed me because I had to do it with my powers.  Even with people pumping power into me, it took nearly a day to destroy it and I nearly got reborn then."

Xander nodded.  "This one's due to be about twice as big so they can run through.  No idea where in the building it's coming from."  Roque nodded, making note to scout that building.  "Someone has told them *I'm* helping the slayers," he warned him.

"Got it."  He smirked.  "I'm still better at some things."

"Of course you are.  I'm not the hunter you are.  I'm the full battle trained sort and then I learned small group combat, Roque.  You started out stalking and hunting things.  There were plenty of days I wanted you on patrol with us because I can't even pretend to be you."  Roque gave him a smug look.  "Would've helped nightly staking of vampires go a lot easier."

"Definitely.  You really need to leave Sunnydale and move somewhere normal."

"Until the hellmouth goes or Buffy and Faith do I'm their backup.  I promised."  Roque nodded he understood that.  "If we could figure out how to close a hellmouth I'd gladly fuck them for it.  I'd even give them their best night ever.  Because we had a kraken a few years back.  It's sitting on top."

"I remember you said that during that fear creature thing."  He grimaced.  Xander rolled his eyes.  "You ever figure that out?"

"Same assholes."

"Ah."  He smirked.  "That'll make it extra special fun."

"Angel occasionally works with one but sometimes he's an enemy."  He handed over a name he wrote down.  "Him."

Roque looked then lit it on fire.  "Got it.  Go sleep.  You look exhausted still."  Xander nodded, going home to lay on the couch and nap with his dog.  He looked at them.  "I have no idea how to stop them outside of killing them, which I'm very good at.  We've gotten some of them but the others are still going on because more power for them when humanity falls."  They all nodded.  "There had been three foreign officials involved.  Two of whom have been found dead and one who's mysteriously missing, even from where I can find him.  I think he's off-realm at the moment.  Once he reappears I'll be handling him."  That got another nod.

"Sometimes saving the world is messy business," Stark said as he came in to sit down.  "Is there any way we can get intel from somewhere they've invaded?  Another reality or something?"

Roque stared at him.  "Don't ask me questions like that.  I'd have to ask McKay."

"Or you can see where Xander just disappeared to," Dawn said as she walked in.  "My telltale on Xander blinked out so he's not on this plane."  A note floated down with a gray feather.  She looked at it.  "Maybe he'll find out."  She handed it over.  "Hmm, demonic feather."  She went to put it into her working case.

Roque shook his head.  "Only Xander."

Stark took it to look at.  "A convention of Xander's.  Interesting."

Xander appeared, handing him a CD.  "On the invasion that the one of me who was president had a copy of."

Fury walked off shuddering.  He had been coming in but the very *thought* of Xander as president was enough to make him want to hide in a closet like a kid.

"President?" Roque demanded.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Why!"

"They wanted to feel protected.  O'Neill got it before me, and John."  He beamed.  "And the demonic me, that Willow changed to a sividia demon, helped me get back.  I'm going to go back to bed now."  He disappeared again.

Stark ran the file, letting them watch.  "There's a whole lot more slayers," he muttered.

"Yeah, but none of us," Roque growled.  "That fucking sucks."  He went to get John, McKay, and Mari.  Peter joined in and they sat down to watch the whole thing with the rest of the Avengers.

"Damn," John said.

"McKay, I need a guestimate on how much explosive to kill that portal," Roque told him.  "Overkill is fine.  That's the evil lawyer's building."

Rodney nodded and Mari nodded faster.  "I'll build you one," she promised.  "Beheading?"  They nodded.  "I'll help Xander sharpen his scythes.  Roque?"

"Clay can help me with my sword if Pooch can't."  He smirked.  "That's what he's for."

"Good point."

John took the note from Roque.  He snorted.  "That's a headache in the making."

"He got the film from the him that was a president."  Roque smirked.  "After O'Neill and then you."

Sheppard stared at him.  "I'll die in Pegasus then.  Thanks for the warning."  He took everyone back home with Roque's help.  He had an email from another Xander telling him about all the other ones.  That gave him a migraine so he went to lay down in the infirmary and let Lorne have it.  Lorne knew about his baby brother.  He'd be amused.  Within an hour, Lorne and McKay were both in adjoining beds thanks to that email.  Carolyn looked at them.  "There was a convention of Xander's, Doc.  Over three hundred Xander's got together to talk."

She shivered.  "That's probably a very charged environment."

"Get into my email," John offered.  She did and lowered the lights for them after reading it.  Her cackling in the office would keep them up for a few minutes but they understood.

Ronon walked in and stared.  "I take it our mission is off?"  John nodded.  "What happened?  Did we find something hiding?"

"Xander," John told him.  "We all have headaches thanks to Xander."

"Did the dog try to procreate with someone again?"

"No," McKay moaned, shaking his head.

Peter came out to stick them with things to help the headaches.  "It'll be fine, Ronon.  Just a bit of family news that Johnny shared."  He smiled.

"Fine."  He went to see if Rodney's helper could let him see it.  She was more than happy to hack into the email for him.  Then she had to explain what some of them were.

***

O'Neill walked into the office at Stargate Command, pausing when he saw the extra person.  "Stark, did you make us something new?"

"Xander got a copy of another world's invasion."

"Good!  We need to know how bad it'll be."  He paged Landry, who came back with a new bottle of tylenol.  They settled in to watch it, O'Neill taking the stored bottle of tums out of the drawer he had always put them in to take a handful.  Landry did the same.  "How close is it?"

"Don't know," Stark admitted.  "Probably pretty similar in size."

"Why all the girls?" Landry asked.

"Their world had more activated slayers apparently," Stark said.  "He got it from the one where you got nominated for president after that so people felt safer," he told Jack.

Jack blinked.  Then cackled.  "I'd ruin everything."

"Fair warning though."

"Yeah, thanks.  Hold on, what was the kid?"

"The president after Sheppard."  He beamed.

"At least John's pretty," he complained.  "They'd like him more."

Landry took a few extra tylenol.  "That's something I don't even want to think about, people.  Can we stop them?"

"If even one's around to do the sacrifice, no," Stark said.  "We've found most of them and they're too hidden for even Xander and Roque to get.  Roque said one's left the plane for a bit for safety reasons."  That got a nod.  "So... welcome to springtime in LA.  I heard Xander made a joke about property values going down."  He stood up.  "Beheading from what we can figure out.  So large gauge shotgun or anything else you can."  They nodded.  "Have fun prepping for that one.  We are."  He left, going back to his office and lab to think up new weapons that would help.  He hated things like that happening here.

O'Neill and Landry shared a look.  "Okay.  Let's start training with staff weapons.  Get some more built.  Get some zats built too.  We can see if they'll work.  If not, maybe it'll disable so we can zat more and team them with someone with a shotgun."  That got a nod and they made plans.  "Someone has to do the portal."

"Roque's an explosives expert."

"Good point.  So Xander would probably lean on him or Stark for that, and ask Sheppard to ask someone to figure out how much."  That got a nod and they figured out placements and how many people they needed.  That night they called the base together to watch the invasion.  O'Neill looked at them.  "That happened in another world this spring.  As far as we know it is happening here this spring."  One raised her hand.  "LA."  She put it down.  "We're making plans now on how to help with the battle.  Carter, weapons possibilities for beheading.  Tomorrow if possible.  If not, find something with Stark and McKay's help."  She nodded.  "The rest of you, your teams are to start doing combat drills.  Because if it happens, we're going to be on call with the Avengers."  That got a mass nod and salute.  "Dismissed."  They left.  Cameron Mitchell hung back.  "Cam, it's not pretty."

"Harris?"

"Got us the tape.  He'll be there.  Some of his kind will be there.  One slayer's in jail, the other's pregnant thanks to the NID."  That just got a nod.  "Figure out with Carter what we have that will work and if not, we'll probably pair up shotguns and zat or staff weapon bearers."

"I can do that, sir.  Are we sure it'll happen?"

"They're working on it.  If it can't get stopped, yes."

"Okay.  I'll start on that.  Daniel?"

"He's damn handy in a fight," Jack reminded him.

"I know but he's got a lot of funny looks recently."

"Ask him if he knows if Xander talked to the ones that took him to talk to," Landry said.  Mitchell nodded and left.  He looked at O'Neill.  "We might have one someday if the Ori make it here or the wraith."

"I know.  Let me tell the Joint Chiefs."  He took the CD with him when he got beamed back.  He stared at them, saluting.  "Sirs."  They sighed and sat down.  "Small head's up on something we're working to stop."  They all nodded.

"Get on with it, O'Neill," the head Joint Chief ordered.  "It's dinner time and my anniversary tonight."

"Happy anniversary, sir, but I can't promise you'll be able to eat."  He ran the CD's file.  "We got this from another realm it happened on."  They watched it.  After ten minutes the head Joint Chief winced and had it cut off.  "We're working on stopping it."

"Date?" one asked.

"Spring.  No one's saying anything beyond 'I'll go visit relatives on another plane'," Jack said.

"That building looked familiar," one said, looking at their boss.

"That's Wolfram and Hart's building.  Some of their people and some foreign dignitaries that have ended up dead are involved.  One's hiding on another realm I'm told. If even one survives...."

The Joint Chief nodded.  "Which they will since we can't get to him."

"I've told my people to be ready and do drills, just in case," O'Neill told him.  "Sheppard knows so we can borrow some of his."

"Good.  Excellent in fact.  How long is the battle?"

"That one was just about five hours," Jack said.  "They got the portal down within an hour, sir."

"Damn it.  I wanted to eat dinner tonight."

"Harris made a joke that they'd think all the fake parts were seasoning," Jack offered.  The head Joint Chief snickered, shaking his head.  "And that property values in LA might go down."

"Probably for a few months, yes," he said dryly.  "All right, we'll get the bases local to that area to start doing drills."  The heads of service branches with them nodded.  "Get us a firmer date as soon as you can."

"I'm trying, sir."

"Good!  Fury and his sort?"

"Know, will be there."

"Even better.  That's their sort of job."

"Actually, that's the slayer's sort of job," Jack said with an evil smirk.  "But one's in jail for a friendly fire incident and the other NID knocked up."

"Slayers....  Those girls from that group in England?" the head of the Army asked.  Jack nodded.  "Do they know?"

"They're pissed that others stepped into their single female warrior's duty."

"How would they expect a single woman to do that?" he demanded.

"I'm not sure, sir, especially not since most of them are called as *teenage* girls."  That got a mass growl.  "The people who stepped in to help hate them like hell.  They do have a large library of source material.  They have trainees waiting on their turn to come spread around the globe."  The head Joint Chief's eyes were narrowing.  "We had a hacker get into their files, sir.  Yes, that's what happened to your cousin's daughter.  I have the file of where she is in my office in my safe.  Last time they knew she was in Peru with her watcher."

"We'll see about that," he said firmly.  "I want that file."

"First thing, sir."

"Good.  Dismissed, O'Neill.  We'll start doing drills to support your people.  You might need it some day if one of them lands."

"Thank you, sir."  He saluted and left with the CD.

The Joint Chiefs stared at each other.  "Find me a way to diplomatically invade their asses.  Tomorrow."  They nodded.  "We'll figure out how to handle that battle."  They nodded and left.  He got to call his cousin to tell her they had an idea about her 'runaway' daughter.  Then he went to let his wife soothe him.  She was so great and once she heard, she was sure someone was going to get their asses on a pole.  Which she'd help him set on fire.  He loved his wife.

***

Xander heard the muttered prayer while he was painting with Buffy.  He considered it.  "Someone at the  Council is praying."

"They should," she quipped.  They shared a look and she sighed.  "Get official looking."  He did and got her a wet cloth to clean up the paint splotches while they left.  They appeared.  "Hi," she told the soldiers pointing guns at them.

Xander stared at one.  "Put it down, Junior.  I have to answer a prayer, even if I don't particularly like the person sending it."  The soldiers gave him a scared look.  He grinned.  "I'm Thor's nephew, Alexander."  He waved.  "This is one of their girls who I've helped for years."  He walked her to where the praying person was.  He could track it to the office.  He stared at them.  "You wanted me to do *what*?" he demanded dryly.  They stared at him.  "Yeah, same Alexander, guys."  He smirked.  "Helping Buffy did firm up my training in stalking and hunting instead of small group and battle combat techniques."  She swatted him on the arm.  "That's why I'm letting her paint my house."

"Mom won't let me paint hers," she said dryly.  She rubbed her very large stomach.

"Ma'am, you're one of the girls they trained?" one of the soldiers asked.

"Yes.  I'm Buffy, the current senior slayer of the two of us.  Xander did CPR," she said at the confused look.

"Oh, I see."  He stared at her stomach then at her.  "Did they...."

"NID," Xander said, holding up a hand.  "They're mostly dead for it.  Though a few were Council idiots."  He looked at Travers.  "What?" he said at the pissed off look.

"She shouldn't be having it," he growled.  "She's endangering people."

"How did you expect one slayer, or even two slayers, and their watchers to handle an *invasion*?" he demanded back.  "They can't keep the hellmouth peaceful!  Much less tackle over thousands of demons spilling into LA!"

Travers flinched.  "They'd get help!  That's why there's the rest of us, Harris," he sneered.

"No, that's why there's me," Xander sneered back.  "And the Avengers."  He smirked.  Travers spluttered.  "By the way," he told the soldiers.  "The girls that they have in training?  Sometimes they're handed over by family who know.  Sometimes they're not."

"We've heard, sir.  We spent a week digging through their files," the commander in charge said.  "Miss, why don't you sit?  My own wife had to sit pretty often when she was stuffed up."  She smiled and sat down.  "You help her?" he asked.

"Yes.  I jumped in a few years back."

"That's interesting.  So you're that Xander guy they have the hit on?"  Xander nodded with a grimace.  "Damn.  That kinda sucks that they'd do that."  He pulled a gun.  Buffy tried to get out of the way.  Xander moved her as he shifted around her seat.  She went into the shadows with the chair.  He and his dog attacked the soldier.  Hellion was growling on his chest by the time they were done and the soldier was crying.

Xander stared down at him, then disarmed the gun and tossed it aside.  "Feel better?" he quipped.

"Sir, we'll get him in custody as well," one of the soldiers said.  "I'd never do something like that."

Xander looked at him.  "Sure, thank you.  Fury might want him, not really sure."  He turned and threw a ball of power at Travers, who was grabbing something from inside his desk.  "Don't move.  Really."  He stared at him.  "I'm not the nice fairy, Travers.  Hell, I've never been the nice fairy."  He let him go and pulled Buffy back to check her over.  "No pains?"

"No, I'm okay.  You're bleeding."  She checked his arm then swatted him.  "Damn it!"

"Shut up, Buffy.  I've had worse on patrol."  She scowled.  He stared back.  "Let me get her to mother for safety reasons, guys.  I'll be right back."  He took her, the chair she couldn't get out of, and the dog to Joyce's side.  "Here, let her nag you.  Watch the dog please.  Buffy, I don't think he's hurt so just pet him."  He petted and cooed at the dog.  "Good Hellion.  Very good puppy."  The dog barked at him and wagged his tail.  He created some jerky for him to nibble on.  "Watch the Joyce for me."  He hopped up to lay on Joyce's bed and nibble on his treat.  He went back there, finding them rounding people up.  "Who's getting their library and weapons?" he asked calmly.

"The British version of the Avengers corps is getting the weapons, sir." one reported.  "The library is going to a General O'Neill?"

"He's at Cheyenne Mountain or at the Pentagon, depending."  He wrote down a phone number.  "That's his desk phone at the pentagon."

"Yes, sir.  Do you need to do more to help?" he asked quietly.

"No, but I do need files to help Buffy and Faith."

"Summers, Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce," one of them said, holding them out.  "The only Faith we found was Lehane?"  Xander nodded, taking them.  "Have a good day, sir."

"You as well, Major.  Thank you."  He disappeared, stopping in on Jack.  "They raided the Council and you're getting their library.  I gave them your desk number."

"That'll work," he said, looking at the files.  "On...."

"Buffy's family and Faith."

He took Faith's to look at.  "We can get her sprung in March and bring her back a good week afterward if we can't work something out.  I'll work on Fury for that."

"Okay.  I was going to bring them to Fury."

"That's fine."  He smiled.  "What happened to your arm?"

"One of the soldiers decided he wanted the bounty."  He disappeared, handing the files to Pepper.  "On Buffy, Dawn, and Joyce from the Council."

She smiled and patted him on the cheek.  "Thank you, Xander."

"O'Neill has Faith's."

"Even better.  I'll make sure they get them."  He grinned.  "Hide before Dawn sees that gunshot wound."

"Her sister already fussed," he said dryly, going to pick up his dog.  Who was napping.  "Why are you so tired?  Did they hit you?" he demanded.

"No, the nurse used something and was going to call security," Buffy said.

Xander rolled his eyes and left with the dog to see the Vet at Apollo's temple.  Apollo gave him an odd look.  "The hospital I had him guarding Buffy and Joyce in for a few minutes sedated him with something."

"Yeah," he said, nodding.  "Only you, kid.  Arm?"

He shrugged.  "Just a graze.  I'll slap a bandage on it later, Lord Apollo."

Apollo smirked.  "Thanks for not giving me more work."

"I try so hard to be a good boy," he smirked.

"And fail half the time, kid."  He handed him a bandage while the animal healer looked over the dog.

"He should be fine, Lord Alexander.  Just let him sleep it off," the healer said with a smile.

"Thank you.  He's been a very good dog.  He's even helped us paint a few times."  The healer laughed.  "Buffy's nesting."

"They do that," Apollo said.  "Go check in with Ares for more lessons, kid."

"Yup, I can do that.  Thank you, guys."  He left with the dog.  He wanted to ask Cupid about wing things for that other Xander.

Cupid came in for a headache tonic then went back to talking to Xander about the him with wings.  Strife had to look in on the other Xander's but that was cute.  Especially since Ares said that Xander couldn't manifest any just as he was trying a spell to do that.  That would confuse the dog for hours.  It sure did Ares.

***

Xander appeared when Fury yelled for him.  "What?"

"Are you trying to be Archangel?" he demanded, staring at the fluffy silver wings.

"No, one of the other Xanders got turned into a Sividia and had wings.  I wanted to try it.  The spell only lasts for a week."  He grinned.  "They're really neat.  And kinda sensitive."

Thor walked in and paused.  Then he shook his head.  "Nephew, was it a curse?"

"No, Uncle.  It's a spell I did."

"Why?"

"The other Xander had one."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "How long should we distract your father for?"

"A week.  But he's seen them and cackled with Strife."  He grinned.

"Hmm."  He went to find something to drink.  Maybe he'd go back to Valhalla for a day to check on Tara with the horses.  They had good, strong mead there.

Xander looked at Fury.  "What did you need?"

"Less of a migraine," he said bluntly.

"It's how you're fighting your lust to pet my pretty wings," he shot back with a smirk.  "I'm going to teach John too."

"Uh-huh.  Faith?"

"Jail?  Is this a word association game?"

"Can you get her out?"

"Yeah.  Can you?"

"Definitely.  Then we'd have to keep her here."

"Faith's had the time to heal.  She's not the same brash, young, injured woman she was before."

"Good to know.  Which jail?"  Xander took him there to the shadows of her cell.  Faith looked exhausted but it was so noisy no one could sleep in here.  He stared at her.  "You okay?" he demanded.

She blinked.  "Who the hell are you?  X?"

"Yup.  This is Nick Fury.  He's the guy who runs SHIELD."

"Huh.  About this spring?"

"And more," he admitted.  "We're looking over your case."

She nodded.  "I still can't be B."

"No one can," Xander assured her.  "Only her.  You're Faith and we'd be pissed off if they gave you drugs to make you Buffy."

She smiled.  "Thank you."

Xander looked.  "What's bleeding on you?  I can smell it and it's too much to be girl blood."  She grimaced, showing the wound.  "Why didn't they treat that?"

"They said it was minor."

"With your faster healing it probably should've stopped bleeding by now."  He looked at Fury, who nodded.  "You can cover?"

"Yes.  Do something spectacular at the same time, kid."

"Done."  He sent Fury home and then appeared in the middle of the prison with a glow of white light.  He stared at the running guards.  "One of those I protect has been treated like shit for her injuries."  One fired and he changed that one into a half-human, half-dog creature.  "I'm the God Alexander, Protector of Mankind," he said bluntly.  A few laughed so he changed them too.  "Didn't ask you to worship me, you're not mine."

He walked into the prison, tossing aside one guard that tried to pounce him.  "The Valkyries do that better, boy."  He walked into the cellblock and ripped the door off, holding out a hand.  "Anything you want to bring?"  She gathered things and he walked her out.  "They really should have treated that wound.  That pisses me off to no end."  He looked at the warden, who was pale and shaky.  "You do know she's seventeen, right?"  He took her with him.  Then he came back for her bag.  The tracker got tossed back a minute later.  He handed her to Dawn.  "Take her to the infirmary.  Get that thing on her arm treated."

"X," Faith said, staring at him.

"I'm the Chosen Protector of Mankind, Faith.  You're one of mine even there.  If you had told me sooner I would've destroyed them."  She nodded, letting Dawn walk her off.  He went to talk to the governor of California.  "I didn't mind that Faith turned herself in for the friendly fire incident.  I left that up to her choice.  She has to decide which way her life goes."  The governor stared at him.  "I minded that they intentionally were letting her bleed to death in her cell."  He snapped his fingers and the prison mattress showed up.  "I don't think that her arm should bleed that much in one day.  Do you?"

"She was...."

"In the women's correctional by LA," he said dryly.  "They'll be calling soon."  He put down the mattress.  "She is in federal agent custody of a special program that will need her help later this year."

"Do we know of you?" he asked.

"I helped Buffy in Sunnydale for years until I ascended to my Chosen Protector status."  He smirked.  "I'm the God Alexander.  Son of Loki and the Hindu Goddess Mar...."  The governor held up his hand.  Xander smirked.  "Chosen Protector for Mankind."

"I see.  She's in Federal custody?"

"Yes.  She's with SHIELD."

"I'll let them know when they show up."  He looked at the blood spot.  "That is too much."

"They decided it was just a simple thing.  That it would seal.  After two hours it was still bleeding."

The governor nodded.  "That is wrong then."

"Yes it was.  Thank you for your time.  I'm going to fuss over her properly like a friend should."  He smiled.  "I promise I won't have to do it again as long as they're not doing it to others."  He nodded once.  "Have a better night once they've finished whining."  He disappeared, leaving the mattress there.

The governor called in his head of prisons.  He showed up and stared at the mattress.  "I got told by someone who said he was a god that one of his friends was bleeding that much and your people had refused to even bandage it.  That was in two hours and apparently they thought it was something minor."

"Who, sir?"

"He said he was Alexander.  Said her name was Faith.  He claimed to be a god and had wings."

He grimaced.  "I don't know of any of their kind in the jails."

"She was by LA in the women's correctional facility there."

"I'll go there and find her file.  Is she considered escaped?"

"She's with SHIELD."

"Best place for those sort, sir.  They keep their own in line.  I'll send up a complaint about their methods."  He left after another look at the mattress.  It was very bloody.  Though he hated those mutant freaks.  He took the state helicopter down there, finding them still up in arms and everyone on lockdown.  "What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"Some winged man!" the prison director said hotly.  "He broke someone out."

"She's in Federal custody."

He paused.  "What?"

"I want her records.  Including why she was bleeding."

"She wasn't," he started.

He held up a hand.  "The winged guy brought her mattress to the governor's office," he said calmly.  "It was clear she was."  He backed down.  "Now, where is the file?  The undoctored one?"  His assistants came in to find it and see what had just been put into it versus the old one.  He read it, nodding.  "She should have been transferred to the special one."

"She's not that sort.  We tested her for that gene and she's not."

Xander reappeared.  "No, she's the Council's girl out of England.  Mystically called, not a mutant."  He smirked.

"You broke into a federal prison, sir," the director said.  "We'll put you in your own cell."

Xander  turned him into a hedgehog.  "Really?"  He looked at the prison people.  "Faith made her choice to take responsibility for her actions when she was a teenager, which I applaud.  She made a good choice and it was helping her get straight again."  That got a nod.  "I won't let my people be abused that way though."  He stared at them.  "She's much better than what they tried to do to her.  Also, doesn't your state forbid testing for mutant genes?"

"Yes," he admitted.  "It does."  For some reason he couldn't lie to this being.

Xander nodded.  "Good.  So why do they?"

"We...."

"I don't care."

"They can cause property damage."

"Why don't you base it on what they do instead of what they might be able to do?  Because a lot that they've caught have been latent gifts.  Not manifested and they couldn't use them.  Which meant they were at the mercy of the ones that have powers."  The official shuddered.  "Exactly.  So let's figure this out since it's illegal and she's not the only one who'll be pressing a lawsuit about it.  Especially since you put her in prison as an adult and she's not, nor was she remanded to adult court for her plea bargain."  The guy gave him a horrified look.  "She's a lawyer's wet dream.  She's probably not the only one.  I know some of the people in here deserve to be in a facility like this.  Though the underground fight ring that she got hurt in, when she was *forced* to participate against her will?  I'd stop that too."

"I had no idea that was going on, sir."

"Alexander."  He smiled.  "It's my job to back up girls like Faith."  That got a nod.  "And the mutants who're fighting to help humanity."  He stared at him.  "I'd hope that the state would treat everyone equally but you've clearly not managed that.  I'm hoping that this is a wakeup and a nudge toward that.  The same as I'm hoping that you fire Mr. Hedgehog there for trying to pressure some of the women into giving him favors."  He found that file and held it up.  An FBI agent appeared and he handed it to him.  Then he changed the hedgehog back.  "Him."

He looked at it then nodded, pulling out his cuffs.  "That's enough to start an investigation.  Why are you here, sir?"

"One of my people was here and got injured, yet untreated, by their forced fighting ring.  She was going to bleed to death if I didn't step in.  So I came to be my impressive self."  He smiled.  "My grandfather's presently screaming at me but yay."

"You know of him?" the official asked the agent.

"Yes.  He helped on the Sunnydale team for years."

"I was a minor, weakly powered Godling until recently," Xander said dryly.  He shrugged then grinned.  "The slayers need the help."

"Slayers?"

Xander pulled that book and let him see the right page.  The guy shuddered.  "Faith," he said with a grin.  "That's why she's mine."

"Oh."  He closed it and handed it back.  "If there is a fighting ring, it will be stopped."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Can you change them back so they can be sent home?"

"I realize the guards were doing their jobs, that's why I didn't hurt them."  He undid those spells and they changed back.  "I don't begrudge anyone doing their job but you don't hurt one of mine that way on purpose."

"No, they shouldn't have let her bleed that way without treatment," he agreed.  Xander smiled and left with the book.  He looked at the agent again.  "We'll have more."

"Let me call some support.  I was at home, just got there."  He called someone to pick up his dinner delivery and his team to show up to help arrest people.  They both stared at the removed door.  The hinges had *broken*.  "We'll bill him," the agent decided.

"That seems fair, yes," the prison official decided.  "He did apologize and the prisoner is in federal custody I'm told."

"He works with SHIELD now and then."

"Even better.  Girls like her should be with their own kind."  They shared a smirk and got back to work.

***

Fury was sitting next to Faith when she woke up the next morning.  He handed her the cup of coffee.  "Some of the good stuff from the admin breakroom."  She sat up and sipped it.  "Thanks to you praying for your arm to clot, the warden was fired and arrested.  The fighting ring was stopped.  His sideline of porn with the prisoners got stopped."  She sighed but nodded, taking another drink.  "You're safe here, Faith.  The president's commuted your sentence so you're a free woman.  Which is why I'm free to give you a job offer."  She stared at him.  "You've heard of Black Widow?"

"Tiny bit," she admitted quietly.

"She was one of my better agents before Rosenburg turned her into a cat."  Faith groaned, shaking her head.  She took another drink and he waited.  "We need someone with her sort of fighting skills and you do have them."  She stared at him, eyes hard.  "I'm not asking you to slay people, kid.  I wouldn't want you to kill another human.  Fight some of the problems that've been going on but not kill a human."

"There's a lot of potential for slipping," she pointed out.

"True, but we can give you incapacitating weapons instead.  Things like a zat gun.  That's a stunner at the first shot, kill at the second, dusting at the third.  On vampires it'll dust on the first."  He smirked.  "We had a lot of fun testing that in Vegas' vampire club."

She stared at him.  "Why me?"

"Because between you and Buffy you're slightly better at the hand-to-hand and sneakier.  She's more...flashy even if she's able to kick most everyone's ass.  You've never had the training time she had.  You're also younger."  She nodded she knew that.  "So we'd like you to train, then after the spring apocalypse - which you'll have plenty of help during - you can take her spot or a spot of your own on the team somewhere."

"The Council...."

"A general on the Joint Chiefs found out that they had taken his niece."  She shuddered.  "They're not around any longer.  We have their library.  All their files, all the genetics and lab things.  The Brits got their weapons and buildings.  They also got the joy of finding all the girls, evaluating their health and well-being, and then finding them a supportive family environment with their watcher if he stayed out of jail."  She gaped.

He smirked.  "Turning little girls into warriors pisses all real warriors and soldiers off, Faith."  He stood up.  "You'll be in here the rest of the day because they had to give you two pints of blood.  I can't save you from Summers fussing over you.  I don't think even Xander could save you from either Summers woman fussing over you."  She groaned but nodded.  He patted her on the head, making her finch.

"I'm mean but not that way, Faith," he said quietly.  "I ride shotgun on a lot of arrogant assholes with powers just like yours."  She stared at him.  "You're probably the most grounded and down-to-earth one we'd have.  You clearly aren't the asshole that Stark is."  She smirked.  "Or Thor.  By the way, he might hug.  Xander said he considers you like family and Thor is his uncle.  He hugs Tara now and then."  He let her go.  "Think today.  Good luck dodging Dawn.  She's worried about Buffy since she won't answer her phone."  He walked off.

Xander appeared in the doorway, smiling at her.  "Dawn's still sleeping."  She smirked.  "They so ripped that jail apart and half the assholes in charge are gone."

"They're going to arrest you for that."

"No they won't.  They did bill me for the door."  She rolled her eyes.  "I've already went to talk to the US Marshals."  He smirked.  "They hated that they did that and I had to step in.  I pointed out if it wasn't *you* I probably wouldn't have heard."  He leaned in the doorway.  "How's the arm?"

"Better.  I'm like family?"

He snorted.  "Yes!"  He stared at her.  "Both of you super girls are."  He stared at her for a minute then smirked.  "By the way, Dawn's an assistant sort now."

"That's good.  Means she won't be hunting."

"Nope.  Pepper doesn't let her."  He smirked.  "Let me know if you need stuff, woman.  Like clothes?"  He pointed at the bag beside her.  "Your storage area was next to mine so I had them move it into mine after the explosion.  You only lost a box and the stuff inside was all right.  I had the pictures remade so you didn't lose them," he said more quietly.  She nodded, biting her lip.  "Hey, sometimes you have to remember the past.  Even me."  She looked at him.  "Speaking as a multi-millennium being...."  She snorted.  "I am.  Buffy was awed I'm older than England."  She burst out laughing.  "Anyway."  He smirked.  "Rest.  Heal.  Let me know if you need stuff."

"Is Little D going to fuss?"

"Yup.  We can't find Buffy and she's still pregnant so yup.  The only way I could save you is to sacrifice one of the warriors I know to her."  She cackled, shaking her head.  "She's seventeen now.  She's still considering boys."  He looked up.  "That's Joyce.  Got a message?"

"Nah, I'll try to pop in and see her soon."

"Cool beans.  Just yell for me.  Fury does.  Dawn does."  He waved a hand and disappeared.  "Yes, Mom."  She glared at him.  "What?"

"Why do you have wings?"

"I wanted to try it out."  He grinned.  "They're great fun."

"Buffy's missing."

"We can't find her."

"They have her.  She was here with me last night and the nurse said an agent walked her off."

"Huh."  He went into the shadows and went looking.  He found her in a shiny surgical room with a doctor bending over her stomach.  "Nope, don't think so," he said, phasing in and snatching her.  He left behind a grenade since they weren't in a hospital.  He felt the grenade go off and it was pretty.  He phased into an ER he knew all too well.  "People, I just found her with a doc cutting into her stomach in a *lab*."  Nurses came running.  "She was hooked up to an IV but I didn't think to grab it.  She's due in May."

They made him stay there.  He called Dawn.  "Found her.  Am at UCLA's ER."  He hung up.  A nurse came out to ask questions.  He answered what he could and referred her to her mother up on oncology.  They called up there and came back to deal with it.  She was in full labor and they couldn't stop it.  It was two months early.  Xander watched as the baby was removed and NICU people ran in to take charge of it.  They got her up to surgery to clean her up while the baby went to NICU.  Pepper and Dawn showed up together.  He pointed.  "Baby Stark," he said quietly.

"Thank you," Pepper said.  "Buffy?"

"Surgery.  I blew up the lab's operating room."  They shared a look and he took Dawn up to surgical waiting.  "This is the blonde's sister," he told the staring nurse.

"Why do you have wings?"

"I wanted to try it out."  He grinned.

"That's fine.  Which blonde?"

"Buffy Summers," Dawn said.  "Our mother's up on oncology."

"All right, I'll make that note and let you know if there's new news."

"Thank you."  She and Xander sat down to wait, her curling up underneath a wing for comfort.  Pepper came down.  "Is it all right?"

"She's just fine," she soothed, sitting on her other side.  Xander moved the wing so she could hold Dawn too.  "You know Buffy heals very well, Dawn.  I'm sure she'll be fine."

"I should've grabbed the IV," Xander muttered.

"I doubt it was poisonous.  That would hurt the baby.  They would've gotten her later on."

"Good point.  I hope."  He stared.  It wasn't too long before a doctor came over to talk to Dawn and he called Joyce so she could hear as well.

***

Pepper walked into Tony's office, hanging up the phone on him since he was talking to Rhodey.  "Your daughter is bright pink, yells a lot, and has the cutest belly button."  He gaped.  "Someone had her and was taking out the baby when Xander found her.  He blew up the lab for you."

"Thank you.  Where?"

"UCLA."  She handed over the picture she had taken with a smile.  "Buffy's awake after surgery and has nagged her way into visiting the baby and her mother.  Dawn's been sitting vigil on the baby.  So far she's very healthy but they did want a unit of blood from both parents in case she needed it."

"Of course."  He stared at her.  "You're not telling me something."

"For some reason Xander still has wings."

He snorted, shaking his head.  "That's just him being him."  He grabbed what he needed.  "Paperwork?"

"Filed with the hospital.  They understand why and agreed she could visit since the paperwork said she could.  She had a good, long cry over the baby and she's better.  We'll be moving her to the infirmary next to Faith.  Dawn volunteered to be her assistant when she's older."

He smiled.  "She might like that."  They went to the hospital to visit the baby.  He even let someone else drive because his mind was racing in bad ways.  When they got there, Dawn looked up at him.  "Why are you so sniffly?"

"It's the only niece I'll ever get, Tony."

"Good point but you can have kids."

"Actually, not so sure of that," she admitted.  "Not with how I got created."

He patted her on the head.  "You can ask your doctor that when you're older."  She nodded.  He got put into the gloves, gown, and mask then let into the NICU area.  The nurse let him hold her for a few minutes.  Of course, his mind shut down completely.  Pepper got a few nice pictures before he became aware.  "Dawn?"  She leaned in.  "How would you tell if she got her mother's gifts?"

"She did.  Which is why Buffy was crying."  She pulled back.

"Then we'll do the best we can for you, young lady, and you'll survive even longer than your mother will," he said quietly.  He let her hold his finger.  The nurse came to put her back and he looked at her.  "I'm told you need some blood just in case?"

"I'm hoping you match hers since her mother doesn't."

He nodded and let her draw some to type, test, and have on hand for the baby.  He got to feed her a bit from a bottle then he got kicked out.  He went up to check on Buffy.  She looked up from her pudding.  "I'll make sure she gets the best trainers.  That she'll last longer than even you will, Buffy."  She smiled and nodded.  "And she'll never go out on patrol alone or in a skirt."  She giggled and smiled.  "Good girl.  Thank you."

"It's something I wouldn't normally get to experience.  It's kinda unhappy making at the moment but I guess it's a really good thing.  You'll baby her?"

"Some.  She won't be spoiled but she'll have a great education and a lot of training.  Who knows, I might even build her a suit for patrols."  She cackled and smiled.  "Good girl.  Let me check on Joyce."

"There was a reporter sort recently."

"I'll deal with them."  He smirked and left her with her thinking.  He went up to talk to Joyce, having the reporter up there tossed out.  "You're upsetting my assistant's mother."  The reporter fled from his bodyguards.  "Hi."  She smiled weakly.  "Need something?"

"Something for the headache that woman caused.  Buffy?"

"She's eating ice cream."  He sat beside her.  "Thank you."  She patted his hand.  "I'll do my very best to make sure she's a normal girl most of the time.  When she's old enough she'll get self defense and all that."

"She is?" Joyce demanded.  He nodded.  "Oh, no wonder Buffy was crying."  He nodded again.   "I'm sure you can have her trained by the best."

"I can," he promised with a smile.  "She'll be the princess of my realm, Joyce."

"I know.  Thank you, Tony."

"It's not a problem.  I'll have her moved up to the infirmary near Faith and Dawn for you."

"That would make me worry less."  He grinned and arranged it for her then let the nurses and Dawn fuss over her.  Tony walked outside and found reporters laying in wait.  "This looks like an ambush," he said dryly.

"Sir, it was reported your surrogate had your daughter," one shouted.  "Is it true?"

He cleared his throat and considered his answer.  "A government program decided that I needed a child and knocked up a young woman I know.  Actually, Pepper's assistant's sister.  Earlier today, someone caught them trying to confiscate the baby two months early.  They kindly stopped them, got her here, and the baby's in NICU for the next few months."  The reporters shifted.  "The people who did it, I'd like to finish having a talk with but my daughter is precious and you guys won't see her until she's eighteen."  A few laughed.  "For now, her mother has the right to visit and I have custody.   Do not bother the hospital or I'm told they'll press charges.  Have a better day, people."

"Are you going to throw her a baptism party?" one shouted.

"No.  She's too young to enjoy one," he said dryly.  He walked off shaking his head.  Guards got called up to guard Joyce, Buffy, and the baby.  Hospital security helped them set up so they weren't bothered as often.  So when Fury came in he had to sneak but he was used to that.  Tony was back there after a long dinner and thinking session on his beach.   "Did the reporter leaches get you too?" he joked.

"No, I snuck past them."  He looked at her.  "She's damn tiny."

"She is.  She's got a good grip though.  She got some of Dawn's hair earlier and didn't want to let go."  Fury smirked.  "She's....."

"You have a very good nanny.  You'll have Dawn fussing over her.  You'll have Pepper fussing over her."

"True," he said, relaxing again.  "The others?"

"They know from the news.  Someone managed a picture of her."

"I'm going to sue them," he decided.  One of the nurses laughed.  "Really, I am."  She handed him the bottle and let him feed her a little bit more formula.  "I still have no idea what to name her."

"Dawn suggested after Sonya so she'd sigh in displeasure when she's turned back."

"She'd thump me."  He watched her eat.  "You do that very well.  Someday you and your aunt can have ice cream binges and stuff, princess."

Pepper cleared her throat after taking a picture of the two tough guys watching her eat.  "By then Dawn might've grown out of ice cream binges.  Tony, Howdy and Rhodey are here."  He nodded so they got let in.

"Damn she's tiny," Rhodey said.  "Then again her mother's short."  Tony kicked him on the ankle without looking.

"She's cute, boss.  Almost some hair.  Clearly yours since she's not blonde."

"Neither's Buffy," Rhodey told him.

"I never question a woman's hair color.  It means they don't hate me on sight," he quipped back.

"That's true," Tony sighed.  "If she wants to be blonde when she's older, I'll let her go to someone who can do it skillfully."  They men all smirked at him.  "Anyone got any idea on names?"  They all shook their heads.  "Pepper...."

"You have four name books on your desk, Tony," she assured him with a smile.  She got a picture of all of them watching her eat.  It was so cute.  Howdy smirked at her so she smirked back.  "The family lawyer's ready to redo your will as soon as she comes home.  The nanny and the backup nanny in case she doesn't work out have both been told she's preemie.  I swear the backup one grunted at me in German."  Rhodey snickered.  "Mari is coming down next week to look over the building they'll have to demolish this spring if you wanted to meet with her about her future career."  He nodded.  "Also I've canceled all your meetings for the next three days so you can hang out in here until you can wrap your mind around her.  Then Dawn can take over some fussing time for you while you do CEO things."

"That'll work, thank you," he agreed quietly.  He smiled at her.  "You still hate the nannies?"

"Yes, quite a lot."

"Then why did you two pick them?"

"I picked on skills but neither one are really...maternal."

"That's fine.  We'll see what we can do.  Does Xander still have wings?"

"Yup.  For the rest of the week," Fury said dryly.  "Though he's up with the dog bothering John and teasing him."

"Wonderful."  Someone came to the door.  "Hi.  Come to stare in awe at her?"

"She's really tiny," he said.  "So I'll stay over here.  Boss, huge issue in LA?"

Fury looked at his phone, getting on the news servers.  "Hyperion Hotel.  Angel Investigations.  They do what Buffy does."  He nodded, going to look them up.

Coulson came in with Thor.  "He wanted to see too."

"I don't mind.  She's clearly going to wear the suit some day," Tony told him.

Coulson looked at him.  "That'll be interesting on patrol."  Tony stared back.  "Dawn.  Thor brought Tara back and she was crying on Tara."  That got a nod.

Thor looked.  "She's tiny but well built.  Has all her parts.  She'll drive you nuts like our cousins have done us many times, Stark."

"Thanks, Thor."  He grinned.

"Welcome."  He patted him on the head.  "We will see what she needs before getting her the traditional whelping present."  He stood up and walked off.  "I shall help the demons celebrating calm down."

"Thank you," Fury called.  Coulson waved and followed him.  He was Thor's keeper.  Fury shook his head as he stood up.  "All right.  You think you can handle it, Stark?"

"For now.  Ask me in a few weeks when I start to lose my mind and babyproof the office."

Fury snorted.  "I'm sure Dawn will help."  He walked off with Rhodey and Howdy moving to talk to Pepper and the guards.  They'd be sitting vigil on and off until she got out probably.

Tony stared at her.  "You'll get used to them being assholes," he told her.  "Me too probably.  You'll probably be able to do what Dawn can't, pout me out of an asshole or a building mood."  The nurses all laughed.  He put her back down after carefully burping her.  "There you go.  Let me find the baby name books and possibly a new backup nanny."  He walked out and Pepper handed him a few books.  He went up to ask Joyce parenting questions and get her idea on names.  It was her only granddaughter and she had sense where he didn't.  She'd want involved.

Pepper smiled at his back and settled in to check her email until it was cuddling the baby time again.

***

Xander showed up and shot the two wraith trying to attack his brother.  "Felicitations."

Rodney snorted, staring at him.  "You gave me a migraine last week.  Why do you have wings?"

"I wanted to try them out because one of them really liked his."  He beamed.  Then at Clay.  "Behind Jensen."  Jensen ducked and Clay shot that wraith too.  "So, anyway, Hellion and I came up to tell you that NID decided Buffy should deliver earlier today by force.  They probably didn't like the grenade I left them in return.  So far the baby's just fine in UCLA's NICU unit."  John grinned and nodded.  "I can't pet the baby until I lose the wings according to the nurses.  So I'm up to brag about wings."  He beamed at his very-fly-happy brother.  Hellion was still nudging them trying to figure them out.

Clay shook his head.  "That's just weird, kid."

"Well, yeah."  John came over to look since the threat was done with.  He twitched.  "Sensitive, John.  Very, very sensitive.  Him and his slightly-evil Sam have wing foreplay."

"Good to know."  He looked over them.  "Like Cupid's?"

"Yes and I got his advice before I did it."  He grinned.  "They're really a lot of fun."

"Uh-huh.  How did you do that?"

"Spell.  Would you like it?"

"He may not!" Rodney said firmly.  "We don't need our leader out flying around on his own power."

"It only lasts a week," Xander told him.  He looked at his big brother.  "Though you have to sleep on your stomach or propped up on someone.  I ended up napping on Ares after a sparring match."

John snickered.  "That had to be cute."  He looked over them, straightening out the few bent feathers.  Hellion barked so he got petted to.  "Can you fly?"

"Yeah.  I learned that afternoon from Cupid.  I nearly crashed a few times into Hera's temple but she just giggled insanely at me."  He grinned.  John moaned, going over them again.  Xander leapt into the air, taking John with him for a fly.  "Cupid said I should come give you a piggy back ride," he teased.

"I used to love his."  He moaned as they flew over the trees.  Not too high but more than high enough for fun and fresh air.  He seriously was getting turned on by this.  Xander landed and he stumbled a bit but John caught them and then he got to ignore Rodney checking him over.  "It was just a fly, Rodney.  There weren't even any bees."

"Still!" he complained.  "Does Doctor Lam know that you have those?"

"I sent her a picture.  They'll only last a week."  Rodney huffed but got them all herded back to the city, the dog coming with Jensen.  Jensen was a great player of fetch so he loved him.

Doctor Lam came to the gate room to stare.  "I saw the picture.  They're bigger than I thought."  She came over to check them out, making him shiver.  "Sensitive?"

He moaned and nodded, kissing her on the cheek.  "Very sensitive."  She gave him an evil smirk.  "Let's get in private if you want to play with the feathers," he said in her ear, earning a nod.   They disappeared to her room.

The others got herded to the infirmary to be checked over.  Rodney insisted.  Peter gave them an odd look.  "Xander showed up with his dog and his wings," McKay blustered.

"Awww.  I thought it was only John who loved to fly."

"He gives great piggy back rides, just like Cupid did," John said with a grin.

Peter checked him over.  "I can tell, John."  John blushed.  "You're fine."  He escaped to take care of that need.  McKay could huff but unless he was helping the colonel with his needs he could give him an extra ten minutes.  He checked the dog over too since it attacked him to lick.  "Down, Hellion."  The dog barked and climbed up to cuddle on Jensen's lap.  "Fine, I can check him around you, mutt."  He petted the dog and then Jensen, getting a grin back.  Mari walked in smirking already.  "Saw Xander and his wings?"

"Wings now?" she demanded.  "His mother's going to be upset.  Most of her people don't get wings."

"It's a spell."

"Pity.  If it was natural he'd probably enjoy it."

"If it was natural he'd find however he had done it and give it to John," Clay said from his seat.

Peter and Mari nodded.  "True," she agreed.  "Then we'd have to deal with his."

Evan leaned into the infirmary with a grin.  "Um, guys, is there something we should know about Xander and sex stuff?  I just walked past Doctor Lam's room and she was squealing and giggling."

"He has a lot of stamina from what I've been told," Clay told him.  "She's probably giggling over a tattoo or something."

"Okay then I'll move the guards near her room."  He went to do that.  The others shook their heads.  No one wanted to know about Xander or Carolyn's sex life.

***

John walked into Carolyn's room to answer her plea for help.  He leaned down to kiss her on the head.  "What happened?"

"He has too much energy," she said hoarsely.

He smiled.  "He's always had too much energy."  He handed her the juice he had picked up for her.  "That help?"  She nodded, letting him help her sit up so she could drink.  "Where is he?"

"Walking Hellion."

He smiled.  "Nap, Carolyn.  He's probably expecting to come tuck you in."

"I suggested the dog needed a walk."

"You rest.  I'll distract him for a while."  She hugged him and he tucked her in then went to find Xander.  "So," he said quietly, making him wince.  "She looked happy."

"I thought she was."  He played with the dog.

"I think she's not used to guys with your sort of stamina, Xander."  He patted him on the back.  "It's not like she complained, right?"

"No, but she fell asleep during it."

"That means you did it too long."  He shoulder nudged him.  "She doesn't have the stamina of a warrior wench."  He made his brother look at him.  "You didn't...."

"No.  I was busy making her happy."  He pouted.

John petted his wing.  Xander shivered.  "You'll work it out and next time you'll know what she can handle."

"She'll probably dump me," he said quietly.

"Well...  I don't think that'll make her decision but she's got a lot of things to think about because being with one of us comes with certain...requirements.  Like the life thing."  Xander nodded.  "Didn't 'Mina have these thoughts?"

"No.  She thought it was great."

"She always reminded me of Psyche.  By the way, Strife used to say the same thing."  Xander grimaced.  "I know she's still thinking."

"Yeah but this was our first time together and I blew it, John."

"You didn't blow it.  She had the most scary grin when I handed her the juice."  Xander blushed, ducking his head to hug his dog.  John patted him again.  "It'll be okay, Xander.  I promise."

"If you're sure.  It's been so long since I dated I have no idea what I need to do and what's taboo anymore."

"So far she hasn't done more than grin a silly little smile at anything, Xander.  You're not doing bad.  She's seriously liking dating you."  Xander looked up at him.  "Really.  She's one of those women who'll tell you to go away if she doesn't want it."  Xander nodded he realized that.  "Though it's nice she's not evil."  Xander nudged him with his elbow.  "Who this time?"

"The fire giant queen and Odin said she came for me."

John snorted.  "That's just dumb, Xander.  She didn't come to screw you."  He put an arm around his shoulder.   "If she doesn't work out, you'll find someone nice.  Someone we can all stand.  Or you can date Jensen."  Xander shrugged.  "I know.  I heard those requests and his quip about breasts.  If so, you'll do a great adjustment spell for him."  He petted the dog.  "You'll figure it out.  Tomorrow, make sure she has breakfast and then assure her next time to tell you to get on with it."

"She didn't even hint until she drifted off."

"Sometimes women do that.  I've had a few do it to me and it is something that made me pouty."  Xander nodded.  "It'll be fine."

"If you're sure."

"I'm certain."  They all heard a loud squeal and then Xander had to move quickly to get away from the woman trying to pet him.  "Stand down," John ordered.  She tried again so he knocked her out.  "Medics to the east pier," he called.  "To pick up the insane bitch from biology."  A medical team came out.  "She squealed like she was fourteen and Xander was a new pet."

"Hell, she squealed like a girl going after shoes," he said dryly.

"Well, you do look soft," one of the nurses quipped.

"I'm very soft," Xander bragged.  They picked her up and took her off.

Xander and John shared a look.  "Go for a fly?"

"I'm full of energy.  We might crash.  I did bring the spell for you."  John smirked and took it from him.

"Don't you dare!" Lorne yelled.  "We can't be missing our CO to him flying."

Xander looked at John then they changed Evan and John so they could all go flying.  Evan moaned but he was more than happy to fly.

McKay saw them go past his window and huffed, going out there to yell at them.  "What are you doing!" he yelled.  "That's not normal!"

"Normal's for mortals," Xander quipped as he looped around to follow them.  "Lorne, more wing action before you drop lower and run into something."  He sped up and they caught a thermal updraft, going to glide for a bit.  Wings ached in places they didn't usually work.  They landed and Evan winced, trying to stretch.  Xander turned him around and worked on the cramping muscles, making him moan.  Xander patted him.  "Go find someone to preen you and finish the backrub so you can moan at them, Evan."  He nodded, going inside.  He was pounced by a nurse but he pointed her at John.  He went to hide with a ...friend.

John looked at the nurse.  "It's just a spell.  Xander said it lasts for a week."

"Good," she said, smiling at him.  "Let's preen those before you get twitchy."

"Actually, I could use a backrub," he admitted, stretching.  Xander shifted him to do that for him, making him go limp and nearly doze off.  She led him to the infirmary to scan the wings then to his room to settle in for the night.  Xander and his dog were gone when she went to check on them.  She also sent a sedative up to McKay's room since they could hear him complaining from his room over most of the city.  Without his intercom.

***

Xander answered the summons of his uncle, staring at him.  "What's up?"

"Has it not been a week?" Thor sighed.

"No.  It's been three days."  He grinned.  "Carolyn thinks they're cute."

"I'm sure she does.  All Father wants to see you."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Anything else?"  Thor shook his head.  "When did you get appointed messenger for Valhalla?"

"I have no earthly idea," Thor said with a smirk.

"Fine.  At least he didn't send Dad to Sunnydale to get caught again."  He went up there, appearing in front of the Council's seats.  "You had Thor yell for me, All Father?"

Odin stared at him.  "What are those?"

"It's a spell."  He grinned.  "John and I both have them for a week."

Frigg stared at him.  "I knew not that you liked to fly, Alexander."

"I don't on planes but flying with wings is pretty cool.  John got to fly too.  He adored it."  He grinned.  "Don't pet me.  They're sensitive," he said when someone tried to do that.

Heimdall walked around to look at him.  "A few appear bent."

"Carolyn grabbed onto them earlier."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "It's good you're seeing someone decent."

"We're taking it a bit slowly but yes.  She's very nice and sweet."

"Even better," Freya said.  "I shall...."

"Not go near her before I turn you into something small, furry, and pettable for the younger Valkyries to have a pet?" Xander interrupted, staring at her.  "Aphrodite already jumped the gun and tried to turn her immortal before we'd even had sex the first time."  She slumped but nodded.  "We're still *dating*.  She has a lot to think about.  Including my position.  She's not sure she wants to give all that up so you can't force her."

"Fine," she said, waving a hand.  "You used to respect us Goddesses."

"I do, all but you love goddesses that try to interfere and screw up my life," Xander quipped.  He looked at Odin again.  "What did you need, All Father?"

He was still staring at the silvery wings.  "We have heard strange rumors about an end-time battle this spring?" he asked to them.

Xander moved back so he was in line of sight.  "Black Thorn is trying to take over Midgard by opening a demon portal and letting the carnivorous demons pile onto LA to start their feast."

Odin blinked a few times.  "Can we not stop them?"

"We've been working on stopping them.  Roque and I have both killed some of them."  Odin slumped.  "One's hiding on a demon plane and you know it'll only take one.  Some are also Wolfram and Hart, who're demon lords.  Which, by the way, who had the bright idea to have them watch over Thor's trust fund?"  Odin gaped in horror then stared at his wife.  "Oh, okay.  Um, you might want to have someone read the contract.  They like to claim souls and powers."  He grinned.  "Angel has been fighting against them for *years* now."

"I shall look into that," she decided.  "And if they need destroyed I shall do that as well."

"Just call.  We won't mind," Xander quipped with a grin.  He looked at Odin.  "I've already alerted a lot of other fighters in case we do have to fight it instead of getting it stopped beforehand.  Plans are going on to handle the battle.  Including Thor's teammates."  That got a nod.  "And the group that uses the Ring of the Ancients."

"That is wise," Odin decided.  "You can still call upon our war gods, grandson."

"I know.  If we need one, I'll yell."  Odin nodded.  Xander looked at him.

"So far your plans look good," the Norse God of War noted.  "Very simple yet elegant and changeable if necessary."  Xander grinned.  "I taught you well."

"Thank you."  He looked around.  "Anything else?"

"You still must mate sometime," Odin ordered.

"I'm *dating* her to see if she can stand the real me, All Father.  We've only slept together twice now.  We're not even ready to be handfasted.  She's not sure she can stand being immortal beside me."

"That is something any wife of yours would have to think upon unless she was one of us," Frigg said more gently.  "I should talk to her?"

"No, I'm trying to keep everyone from nagging her or pushing her," Xander ordered.  "I want her to make the decision of her own free will."

"Of course," she snorted.  "Freya I am not.  Or Aphrodite."

"Though it's wise to keep your own mother from her," Heimdall noted.

"Mom made me lose my temper so much I went off killing wraith," Xander told him.  "John had to get me calmed down after a week."  Heimdall shuddered.  "I promised to dump mercury in her river if she came near Carolyn again."

"Some women lose sense when they become with child," Odin sighed.  His wife hit him on the shoulder.  "I did not mention you," he complained.

Xander shook his head.  "Let me go check on my dog so you two can do couplish things."  He bowed then disappeared.

"He has learned well what women will not tolerate," Heimdall told his cousin, who nodded back.  "Some day he'll make a good spouse."  He walked off.  Clearly Odin needed some time alone with his pouty wife.  The others followed him so they could be alone.

Odin looked at his wife.  "Did we not plan a meeting today?"

"I believe they think you need to learn how to handle a wife yourself," she said dryly.  She walked off.  She had a nice book to read thanks to that pretty Tara girl.  Gloria Steinman was very good for a Goddess' education in modern women.

Odin sighed and went to get some mead.  Clearly today was already shot.  He'd have to finish that meeting tomorrow he supposed.

9: Old Ones With Powers

Did they even think before the higher ups mandated that each son of a chaos god had to have a power surge to power them every decade?

Xander appeared in New York, looking at his uncle.  "We gotta talk."

"Why?" he asked, standing up.  "Is there another battle?"

"Not quite."  Thor followed him to the hallway.  "Sif called me."  Thor grimaced but nodded once.  "She wants to talk to me about your daughter."

"We had no children," Thor said firmly.  "She ran childless."

"She's claiming it's yours.  Also, did you hear that Odin proclaimed that we all have to reup our vows to Valhalla and him?"

"I know not why," he sighed, leaning against the wall.  "We have never done that."

"We did once, but you were pretty young.  So was I.  Odin used it to find a traitor.  Apparently he can feel the truth of any vows to him.  So we have to go up there and do it or else we'll be without the family."

"I will and make sure you get called as well," he said, clapping him on the arm.  "I will not see her.  She fled in the middle of the night like a coward.  I thought her true and she proved herself not."

"I think there's a higher story there and I'll find out and tell you.  Plus about the supposed child."

"Please," Thor said with a scowl.  "I would not like that."

Xander nodded.  "Me either."  He smiled and disappeared.  Thor went back to his meeting to scowl there instead.  He looked at Odin.  "What did you want me to vow when we reup them?"

Odin stared at him.  "You have your position now, Alexander."

"Does that mean I don't have to swear allegiance?"

"No, it would make us happy if you did.  You are still a protector of the villages."

"Thank you.  I warned Thor you had called for it."  Odin grimaced but nodded.  "Is Sif here?  She called for a meeting."  Odin moaned, shaking his head.  "That's why I'm up.  To see what she wanted."

"Go see her outside the halls.  There are many that would still like to pull her pretty blonde hair from her head, grandson."

"I can do that and bring back news."  He disappeared, going there.  "Sif."  She stared at him.  "You needed a meeting?"

"I do, Alexander.  Tea?"

"Please.  It's been a long morning dealing with everything."  He sat down and watched the girl serving them.  She did look a lot like his uncle.  "Is that her?"  Sif nodded.  He looked at her.  "Thor's still highly upset.  He was about to beat a table with his hammer over you leaving even after all this time."

"I found a prophecy saying if I gave him children, they would be destroyed," she said quietly.

He nodded.  "I've seen a few like that.  Mostly they're shit."  She smiled and nodded. "Then again, Ragnarok has been remade."

"I had heard.  That is why I wanted her to be admitted to the family, in the hopes that the one that made me run was gone."

"To do that you'd have to prove parentage."  Sif glared.  "It is the rules.  Even my father did and Freya herself pulled me from the womb."

"I was faithful," she said firmly.

"Not the point.  You have to stand in front of the council and proclaim and prove that she is your spouse's child.  Especially since her father doesn't know."

"How would I do that?"

"There's two ways.  There's a test.  It's very difficult but unless she had blood from the family she can't even get into the caves.  If she makes it out she's definitely from the main bloodline.  Or you can ask John's people."

"John has broken out?  I had not heard."

He ignored the speculative look because he knew John would never go for it.  "No, he hasn't, but he's on the city of Atlantis.  He works with many people who are very smart and they can compare parentage.  Normal humans would have problems with the Godly DNA but his have a way around it."

"Why is he there?"

"That's how he's chosen to protect humanity.  I've been there a few times helping him and hiding from our mother while sick.  Healer Peter is there as well."

"I like not your job or his job," she complained.

He grinned.  "He can take blood from you, the child, and Thor to have tested."

"Odin would accept it?"

"He would but he might still ask questions.  I know Uncle would.  So would my father probably."

"True.  I know they'll ask."  She smiled at her daughter, who grinned back.  She looked at him again.  "It is dangerous to be related to Odin All Father but it is better if she is protected when she marries."

"Is she due to marry?"

"I was hoping one could find her a suitable spouse."

"I don't know.  John might be able to help there as well.  Roque's recently gotten with his mate.  I helped there.  I'm still looking for mine."  She smiled and nodded.  "Since the fated one I had was for crap and she's been dead since that was noted."  Sif sighed, shaking her head.  "Seriously.  If you go by the fated mate prophecy, I should've been with Mylan."

"That would not have brought peace to your house."

"No, not in the least."  He stood up.  "Let me talk to John and Thor.  Maybe I can ease one's temper and John'll be bored this week."  She nodded.  He left, going to New York first.  He looked at his uncle.  "She found a prophecy."

Thor grunted.  "That is not unusual in Asgard."

"Saying that any child of yours would be killed."  Thor looked up, giving him a pointed look.  "She's about eighteen.  About the slow, Asgardian growth rate so she's from when you were abandoned."

"You're sure she is mine?"

"I'm going to have John test that.  That means he'd need some blood from you?"

"That is more than acceptable.  Why did she step forward now?"

"The reupping and she's of marriageable age."

Thor grunted again.  "We shall see."

"Let me get John."  He disappeared, landing in front of his big brother.  John was kicked back in his chair with his feet upon the table looking happy.  "I have a request."

"Formal one?" he asked with a grin.  "Can we tease Mari about getting dressed up?"

"No.  Sif called."  John's feet hit the floor and he sat up, staring at him.  "She was pregnant when she fled."

"Shit."

"She's a pretty, blonde girl.  Of marriageable age.  Odin wants us all to reup our vows and she wants to present her during that.  Which means she'll need to prove parentage."

"We can do paternity.  That's easy enough to do."  Xander grinned.  "Is she going to join the temple?"

"Sif's a very traditional woman.  She noted her daughter was of marriageable age."

"So she's probably been bred and structured to be a housewife.  At least there's some eligible nephews of the lineage," he sighed.

"Yup.  Can we do that today?  Thor's in a scowling, grunting mood."

"Sure."  He went to get the doctor.  "Peter."  Their demi-god healer looked up with a smile.  "Don't.  Sif's wanting her daughter tested for inclusion in the lineage when Odin wants everyone to reswear."

"Wonderful!"  He gathered what he needed and Xander took him to Thor first.  Then up to Sif's house.  He ran a hand over the girl's forehead.  "She's of Odin's lineage but I'm not sure where."  Sif stiffened.  "We'll test it."  He took their blood and let Xander bring him back to the city.  "Wait."  Xander sat down to read a magazine he pulled.  Peter did the test and sighed.  "She's more related to you than to Thor."

Xander looked over.  "Father!"  Loki appeared looking scared.  "Would you like to tell me something about another sister?  Maybe from your brother's wife?"

"Not that I remember."  Peter pulled him over to take blood.  "Why is it important?"

"She's asking for her inclusion so Frigg can find her a husband."

"Oh, I see."  He grimaced.  "It was on Odin's orders.  He thought my brother infertile and I only had you so there were no further heirs."

Xander shook his head.  "Thor needs to get it on sometime soon," he decided.  Peter looked at him.  "I'm the only grandson."

"It'd go to his brothers and then you," Peter reminded him.

"Half of which won't want it.  Outside that one," he said with a point at his Father.  "And then there'd be hell in Valhalla.  Which would then get me demanded to fight him for it."

"True," Loki agreed.  "Though you'd never win, son."

Xander stared at him.  "Unlike you, Father, I've done a lot with my fight training."  Loki shuddered.  He looked at Peter, who was nodding.  "Definitive?"

"Yes."  He looked at Loki.  "I'd hide."

"Definitely."  Xander took the printout with him.  He went to grab Thor and bring him to Sif's house.  "We all need to talk.  Excuse us, daughter of the line.  It's going to get loud.  Go pick flowers?"  She smiled and nodded.

Thor watched her go.  "She seems sweet and simple."

Xander swatted him.  "She's been trained to be a wife like yours was."  He put the paper down.  "Odin thought you were sterile because she hadn't gotten pregnant."  Thor stiffened then groaned and shook his head.

"No, it cannot be," Sif said impatiently.

Xander looked at her.  "I asked Father.  He said Odin ordered it because I was the only grandchild."

"Why would that matter?" Thor complained.

"What happened when Odin ceded power?"

"Loki took over," he grimaced.

"And I got nagged to go kill him to take it from him," Xander shot back.  "I'm the only male of the lineage beyond your generation."  Thor shuddered.  "Which means you need to start putting out, Uncle.  I don't want that job too."

"I can see where that would be worrisome," Sif said, looking at her husband.  She got up and got the scroll she had stared at every day since she had fled her married house.  He took it to read.  "I could not lose what little I would have all at once."

Thor stared at her.  "It would not have happened."

"The house you shared was attacked many times," Xander reminded him.  Thor glared.  "Dad might've taken out any sons too."

"True," he admitted.  He put the scroll down.  "Now it is broken.  I had Freya break our vows."  She nodded she knew that.  "We will do what must be done."

"You have a girlfriend of immense womb potential," Xander reminded him.  "Give her an apple if you can ask Hera for one."

Thor nodded.  "I have broached that subject.  She does not like it and would not like to give up her career for a few years."

Xander sighed.  "Fucking yay."  Thor scowled.  He stared back.  "We've had Loki in charge once already.  We're reupping and something's going to happen.  I don't even need a vision to see it."

"I can sense that coming as well," Thor admitted, standing up.  "I will talk to her about needing heirs for when it is time for the throne to go on.  Odin will like it probably."

"Don't let him treat them like he did me," Xander said quietly, staring at him.

"No, I would have slain something to prove him wrong."  He patted him on the head.  He looked at his ex-wife.  "I will accept her into my house as your daughter.  I will sponsor her before the board."  She sighed and nodded.  "I will not claim her though."

"That is fair," she agreed.  "I thank thee, Thor."

He nodded.  "Get her prettied up.  There is a meeting this week."  Xander went to get her.  He looked at her.  "Have you found another husband?" he asked.  This was probably the longest, most awkward talk he had ever had since Odin made him talk to Xander about married life.

She looked down and shook her head.  "I have not nor will I.  I vowed to you and it was my own doing that broke those."

He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.  "I wish you peace, Sif.  Future happiness as well.  We must all move past this incident."  Xander came in with her and Sif took her to get her dressed up.  He looked at Xander.  "You'll back me?"

"Yes and Peter did the tests."

"That's wonderful.  Go grab him."  Xander did that.  Thor took them all with him when the girl was ready, opening the massive doors and leading the way in.  "All Father, I have a petition."

"What, Thor?"

"This is the daughter of my house, Abigail."

Odin stared at her.  "Not the daughter of your loins?"

"No, apparently someone thought me unworking," he said with a glare.  "Which led to the dissolving of my marriage house."  Odin winced.  "Sif has asked that I acknowledge her as my stepchild and I shall."  He looked at Frigg, who was over it.  "She also asked that you take her under your protection until she can be found a good, just spouse."

"I can do so."  She walked down to look at the young woman.  "Relax, Abigail.  I am not the mean one.  Healer Peter?"

"I did the paternity test to confirm who her father was."

"And her father is?" Odin asked.

Xander snorted.  "The one you sent to make sure there were more grandchildren, Grandfather."  Odin flinched visibly at that.  The others in the hall winced as well.  "I have noted that there should be more of us," he said with a look at Thor.  "So I don't have to kill my own father the next time he acts up and takes power."  He glared at Loki then at a few others who had pushed that idea.  "Why would I want that seat?  You all complain like Midgard virgins."  Thor snickered, shaking his head.  "I suggest all of Thor's brothers and sisters start to spawn so I'm not the only grandchild."  Those all nodded and a few winced.  "Starting today.  Especially since I can't have children until I clear the mermaid taint."

Odin shuddered.  "That is good to know."

"It will take at least two regenerations to clear it all," Peter told them.  "So I agree, start screwing you lot.  My people have a lot more kids than you do."

Xander nodded.  "So do my mother's people and Zeus's people."  Odin glared at him.  Xander had just called into remembrance the old feud between Odin and Zeus.  "Hell, even Ares has multiple spawn and yet Tyr doesn't?"

"True," Tyr sighed.  "I have been remiss in that duty to the Council."  He looked down.  "I shall start trying to right that duty later."

"And when they come into being and show any sort of warrior's gift, I'll bring them to my people for training if the parents want," Xander promised.  They all nodded that was a good idea.  "That way they get more than one family's learnings."

"That is a good idea," Odin agreed.  "Frigg, is she suitable?"

"She's a darling young woman and Freya should have no trouble finding her a good mate."

Xander looked at his half-sister.  "If that husband should ever bother you in a way that hurts you or upsets you, you will call upon me and I will make it right as your brother."  She smiled and nodded with a small bow of her head.  "Good."  He looked at Peter.  "Let me get you home."

"Let him scan you first," Odin ordered.  "I want to know more of this taint."

Peter smiled.  "I did the last time he was on Atlantis to heal."  He stepped forward to give a report on how he had gotten it, which made even his father moan and walk off rubbing his forehead, and how it would have to be cleared.

"Not until I have a mate," Xander ordered.  "Before then I'll stick to not being able to have children."

Odin nodded.  "That is wise with some who have courted you, grandson."  Xander gave him a pointed look.  "Roque was very nice among them."

"Yes but now he's mated."  He smirked.  "I helped set up the consummation."

"I heard it was very fancy," Freya praised.  She walked down to the young woman, smiling at her.  "I have a great many young warriors who will prove themselves to be your spouse."

"As you will it," Abigail said quietly, not looking at her.

"Good girl.  Come."  She led her off with Frigg so they didn't have to listen to Odin sniping at his grandson again.  "Any others who need help finding a wife, do let me know."

"I am courting someone," Thor assured her.

"A mortal?" Frigg asked calmly.

"There are ways around that," Thor reminded her.  "I have talked to her about them and will not take her as more than a consort if she does not agree."

"Good," Odin agreed.  "I hope more grandsons come soon."

"You know, some of the most deadly in the family are actually the daughters," Xander said dryly with a smirk for his grandfather.  "The girls are more than capable of gutting most of us and then taking over."

Odin looked at him.  "They're female," he pointed out.

"Many places have very effective queens," Xander countered.

Odin grimaced.  "Not in Valhalla.  They're not warriors."  Xander pointed at the nearest Valkyrie, which made Odin wince.  "If it must happen that all of my grandsons are unsuitable, I would look at them.  I would hope that the others would not leave you in the position to make a choice, Grandson."

"I don't want your seat.  You've sweated a lot into it over the years, Odin.  I'd hate to wear your sweat for eternity."

"Good."  He smirked.  "Though if the daughters wanted to start giving me grandsons that would be appreciated."

"You bound our powers with our purity," one reminded him.  "If so, you lose all of us."  Odin shuddered.  "Exactly.  It would mean the worthless offspring would have to do our job and it'd never get done right."

Xander looked back at her.  "Hey," he complained but he was smiling.  "I'd pick good warriors from battles.  They might even be more fun ones, like Roque's mate until he could gather him and his team."

Thor looked at him.  "I met the fireling.  He was very interesting and babbled like you used to."  Xander punched him on the arm.  "You need strength work, nephew," he taunted with an evil smirk.

Xander used his powers to pick him up and make him hover against the ceiling.  "Really?"

Thor looked down at him.  "You've proved your point."

Xander hung him on one of the massive chandeliers.  Then grinned at his cousin.  "The pegasi need exercise anyway and Thor doesn't remember how to ride."  He disappeared, taking Peter home.  Peter burst out cackling, leaning on Doctor Lam's shoulder.  Xander grinned.  "Odin's making everyone spawn soon so I'm not the only grandson."  He disappeared.

She patted him on the shoulder.  "What happened this time?"  He told her between giggles and she burst out laughing too.

***

Xander got summoned by Hera, appearing in front of her and bowing properly.  "Yes, Lady Hera?"

"Alexander, your grandfather has asked that we examine this taint that Healer Peter found."

"Sure.  It's partially mermaid.  A few other things I've run into and killed.  A few possessions."

She shook her head.  "I'm glad none of my offspring's children have that problem."

He grinned.  "You hope."

"True."

"Especially since Odin wants more grandsons after I reminded him I was the only one."  She winced and shook her head.  "Exactly.  Is Lord Apollo doing it or his son?"

"We all wanted to look at it," she admitted.  "We've recently had a demi-god pop out a granddaughter who reminds us all of Joxer from that show my bastard stepson did."

Xander snickered.  "He was cute in it too.  Got many drooling women."

"It figures."  She waved him closer.  He stepped closer and she felt along his energy lines.  She nearly shrieked at what she saw.  "How on earth!" she demanded.

He shrugged.  "No clue.  It happened as it did."

"The fireling taint?"

"I do?"

"Yes!" she said impatiently.

"Huh, Peter never found that."  She called Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Poseidon, and Hades up to sense him as well.  "Hey, guys."

"Odin wanted us to check on the taint that he somehow managed to inhale."

Xander shrugged.  "It was what happened at the time, Lady Hera."

Ares snorted.  "Mermaid taint again, kid?"

"Not only that," Hera told him.  "Alexander, go to elemental form?"

He sighed and flashed his clothes off then turned into a glowing column of power.  The other Gods stared in horrified awe.  "What?" he complained.

"You have powers from sixteen pantheons noted in your aura," Artemis said.  "There's only twelve active ones."

"I helped the firelings during their last war, before the takeover?"

"No," Athena said.  "That did not flash."  She came closer.  "Hold still."  Xander did.  She tested the ones she didn't recognize.  "Titan blessings."

"One of them sent blessings upon my birth."

"The other two I cannot read."

Hera read them.  Then Hades.  "One's from the ones in Pegasus.  They are linked to Atlantis."  Xander looked at him.  "Perhaps because you used your powers for the Firelings.  Perhaps where you used them to help Jonathan."  He tested the other one.  "That was before the Egyptian one.  The ones before Osiris and Isis."  Hera huffed.

"Again, probably a birth blessing since that's about when I was born," Xander said, changing back.  "Why is this a problem?"

"Some of that will have to come out or else you'll never be able to regenerate again," Poseidon said.  "The mermaid taint will have to be separated anyway.  What tainted Jonathan?  I felt it but I didn't recognize it."

"Iratus, the bug they made the wraith from.  One bit him on a mission."  They all shuddered.  "It's mattered a few times, only once because he nearly turned blue and buggy.  Mother sighed and told him he couldn't become _The Tick_."

Apollo snickered, shaking his head.  "Yes, quite.  By the way, I have her in a sedated state in my temple."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you.  The mood swings got a bit bad.  Is it twin girls?"  Apollo nodded.  "Wonderful.  I look forward to training them so they're not simpering little girly girls."

"I'm sure you will," Hera agreed.  She looked at the others.  "How would we weed out the ones that aren't desirable?"

"The mermaid taint I can have weeded out by him pushing it into a child," Poseidon said.

"Infertile," Xander countered.  "And that's why."

"We can do an energy pregnancy," Apollo said.  "The fireling as well since it's not healthy for him to have."

"The only ones I know are a priestess and a young male."

"Again, an energy pregnancy," Athena assured him.  "A half fireling/half god would be a strong protector probably."

"We'd have to tell them so they can admit them into the clans," Xander said.

"True," Hera agreed.  She considered it then called Frigg.  "We have ideas."

"That's a good thing.  Alexander, did you like Abigail?"

"She's my sister, ick," he said firmly.  "I've been among humans too long to accept that idea."

"Fine."   She tested him.  "Go back to your elemental state?"  He sighed but did.  She stared in confused.  "What's all that?"

"Birth blessings and taint from gifts," Athena said.  "We can weed some out by energy pregnancies.  The mermaid taint can go that way."

"I wanted to wait until I was mated," Xander said.  "I don't want to be an irresponsible sperm donor.  All of my children should come from my mate, not whoever I sleep with."

"We wholeheartedly agree," Hera stated, smiling at him.  "I find that refreshing actually."  She glared at Apollo, who shrugged.  "Do you have one in mind?  We can change the parentage and just use the taint to form the pregnancy instead of making it yours if that's your wish."

"No.  I'm still trying to fight that edict you put out so no one *enchants* someone to be my mate."

"I did not mean for them to do that," she admitted.  "Aphrodite?"  She appeared and hugged Xander.  "We must do an energy pregnancy to weed out his taints.  Have you seen any hint of his true mate?"

"Two consorts but no mates," she admitted.  "But they'd both freak out."  She stroked Xander's back.  "We can take volunteers and adopt them.  The mermaid taint should go to Poseidon so he can handle it and change it.  One of his priestesses would probably be happy to do so."

Ares nodded.  "There's a few who wouldn't mind some of the others if we had to weed it out either.  Including the daughter of Pan."  Hera nodded that was true.

"It wouldn't take the hyena taint.  I've integrated them," Xander said.

"No, but it would help in other ways and that one is beloved of one of Poseidon's many grandchildren," Hera said.

"She's a sensible girl that makes him blush," Poseidon said.  "She has petitioned to ask him."  He went to talk to them.  They agreed and came up.  Hera did the quickie marriage and then transferred the taint to her as an energy pregnancy. Xander slumped.  "It will be fine and the child will be guarded and loved," he promised.

Xander nodded.  "I want to at least let her know and be in her life."

"You'll be her favorite uncle," the new mother said with a smile.  She and her husband disappeared.

Ares disappeared, going to the firelings still in the temple.  The head of the temple hopped up to face him when he appeared.  "Your people gave Alexander a blessing?"

"After he helped us."  She got the scroll from the library.  Each of the temples had a copy.

He read it and nodded.  "Odin wanted it mostly weeded out, which we were planning to go into his child."

She smiled.  "We would accept a child of his with that gift intact, Lord Ares.  How did he want to do that since I'm told he's single?"

"That's what we're discussing.  His mermaid taint got given to a grandson of Poseidon and his new wife.  She'll be giving him a very fishy granddaughter."

"I know of some who would adore having a child who cannot.  Even though it would not be laying an egg they would appreciate it."  She got them summoned and he gathered them.  Ares explained the situation to them and they agreed.

They got taken to Xander and Hera did the transfer.  She glowed and the baby started to grow very quickly.  Ares put them back at the temple.  They examined Xander's aura for more problems.  There were still tiny bits of the taints they had removed in it but nothing too bad.  Peter was summoned and he tested the boy.  "Will he work?" Hera asked.

"Not yet but the blockage is power in nature now.  That's some of the hellmouth taint.  We can't really make a new one to drain that from him so he'll have to work that out and it'll happen when he's got a mate."

"Good," Hera said firmly.  She handed Xander back his clothes, letting him change back and put them on.  "That is much nicer."  She patted him on the cheek with a smile.  "Now, find a mate?"

"I've been looking."

"I know, dear.  Maybe a male mate?"

"And listen to Odin scream?" Frigg asked.  "Him being the only grandson right now does not work that well."

Xander looked at her.  "If I so chose I could embrace some of those taints and then make sure there's other grandchildren.  Or ask my male sister."

"True, that should suit her."  She patted him on the cheek.  "I will let you announce that."  She left to think.  They had to find their troublesome grandchild a mate somehow.  Somewhere.

Hera shook her head.  "We will all start looking at the grandchildren, Alexander.  What of that pretty young doctor?"

"She doesn't want to be immortal."

"Ah, a consort perhaps?"

"That would hurt like hell.  Probably both of us."

"Perhaps," she agreed.  "I can talk to her if you wish."

"I don't want her to feel forced."

"I'll send Cupie to do it," Aphrodite said with a wink.  "How long did that wing spell last?"

"Two days extra."  She giggled and left.

"I still say it's weird seeing you with them," Ares said, patting him on the back.  "Go rest."  Xander nodded, disappearing to his home. "If Jett was still alive," he complained, going back to his own temple.  Xander's powers were alluring but he'd hate to be pregnant.

***

Cupid appeared next to John, who wasn't on his city it appeared.  He looked around the dangerous feeling forest.  "All right then," he sighed, looking at his nephew.  "Mom sent me."

"I'm not even dating," he offered with a grin.

"Good!  Maybe that'll mean less nagging about wanting wings."  He grinned.  Someone came out of the trees firing on them and he threw a fireball at them.  "You're messing up my wings, dude.  Just....don't.  It's very unhealthy to mess up my wings."

"They never feel right," John agreed.  They shot the other Genii who were trying to kill them and Cupid got one more for them when he was playing dead.  John looked at him.  "So why call, Cupid?"

"Mom."

"Like I said, I'm not dating."

"We know.  No, I'm here because Xander reminded Odin he's the only grandson."  John moaned, shaking his head.  Cupid patted him on the shoulder with a smile.  "It'll be okay, John.  I'm not going to pressure her but we do need to make sure she doesn't have questions and all that good stuff.  Then maybe we can go for a fly," he offered with a wink.

Rodney cleared his throat.  "Should he end up with wings again, I'm going to let the biologists have him because last time he went flying and we got attacked."

Cupid looked at him.  "You must be Rodney.  You *so* need laid, dude."  Rodney started to splutter.  "And I should know."  John nudged him, shaking his head.  "What!"

"Don't.  I'll never hear the end of it if you fix him up."

"I wouldn't.  I don't know hardly anyone in this galaxy yet."  He grinned at John.  "Though, sweetie, to blatantly channel Mom, so find the dildo fountain.  Today."  The others with them walked off giggling.  "The rest of you could use some time in that same fountain but he's uptight and tense."  He stared at Rodney.  "Or you could mutually cure each other.  That'd be hot."  He grinned.  Rodney walked off swearing.  "Whatever."  He looked at his nephew again.  "I need to talk to the pretty young doctor that Xander's been flirting with."

"She's in our infirmary."

"Can we?"

"Sure.  That way I can ignore all the dirty looks I'll get for the next week.  Just like I do whenever Mom shows up.  Speaking of, who tied her to her bed?  No one's heard her ranting in a few weeks."

"We went with Godly Plan #12.  She's sleeping the sleep of the glass coffin in Apollo's temple."

"Hey, that's cool," he said with a grin.  "As long as no Prince is needed."

"Nah.  He can wake her up when she delivers the twins."

"Twin daughters.  The others are going to flip."  They walked back through the stargate and it shut down.  "We all here?" he called up to his gate tech Chuck.

"Yes, Colonel."  He stared.  "Did he do the wing spell too?"

"No, his are natural," John said.  "Chuck, this is Cupid.  Cupid, this is our excellent gate tech."

Cupid grinned and waved.  "Hey.  I'm saving you guys from Mom making the holy dildo spring up here to cure the tension problem going on."  Chuck blushed and ducked his head but he was smiling.  He walked John off.  "So, is she a good woman?  Most of Xander's dates are...interesting to say the least."

"I love Doctor Lam.  She's a great woman.  She's a very good doctor."

Cupid nodded at the guys walking past them.  "Fireling and Yellow furs," he said with a nod of greeting.

"Wow, you must be Cupid," Jensen said with a grin.  "That's so cool."  He beamed at John.  "Did Xander send you up to give Roque's consort and mate new ideas?"

"Jensen, shut the fuck up before I sew your lips shut," Clay growled.  He looked at Cupid.  "He's sorry, he's young and stupid."

Cupid looked at him.  "Roque could use some change up.  Got handcuffs and blindfolds?"

"If I must," he admitted.  Cupid touched his forehead and Clay shivered.  "That's ....  He'd probably kill my ass."

Roque stepped out of a dark room.  "Don't give my mate ideas," he complained.  "I'll never break him of them."  They shared a look.  "But thanks for the idea, Cupid."

"Always happy to help," he quipped with an evil smirk.  He looked at Jensen.  "You need the same dildo spring, dude."

"I know but no one up here wants to play with my magnificence and giant brain.  They're worried I'll pass out or something and they're wrong, but hey, can't seem to prove to them the Power of Geek is awesome."

Cupid stared at him.  "If you were a girl, I'd *so* set you up with Xander.  You could bounce each other into brain orgasms."  Jensen beamed.  "But one of you would still have to get pregnant sometime."

"It'd ruin my abs," Jensen quipped with a grin.  "If I find a girl like me I'll gladly send her his way."

"Please.  He mistakenly reminded Odin he's the only grandson."  Roque shuddered.  "The others all got the hairy eyeball and Xander suggested they all get to fucking soon."

Roque nodded.  "They could use it," he agreed.  "They're all uptight."

"Sif popped up again," John said.  "With a daughter."

"How in the nine hells since she left him and she didn't have any?" Roque demanded.

"Apparently she found a prophecy saying if she got knocked up, it'd be killed.  That's why she fled when she figured out she was.  Odin had sent Loki to make sure that his favorite son had kids since he didn't think Thor worked."

Roque moaned and shook his head.  "That doesn't surprise me with that source.  It really doesn't."

"Sif had her presented as Thor's stepdaughter so she could find a good husband.  Which was when the whole 'grandchild' thing came into play."

Roque nodded.  "It makes sense to me with the ones who came to complain to Xander that he had to take out his father because he had taken over Valhalla.  Any other cheery news?"

"We all have to revow to Odin sometime soon," John said.

"Great," Roque said dryly.  He shook his head.  "Clay, are you going to do something dangerous so I can get those nasty thoughts out of my head?"

"No, we just got back from one," John admitted.  "Sorry."  He grinned.  "You could go get that wing spell from Xander."

"Wings are fun," Jensen said with a huge grin.  "I love mine."

"Shut up, Jensen," Clay and Roque said together.

"I love mine too.  Wing foreplay is the shit," Cupid said, walking John off again.  "Later, dudes."

"Have a better day, Cupid," Roque said, looking at Clay.  "I heard that idea.  Don't even think about it."

"Sure, the next time I have your ass tied down, we'll talk about it," Clay shot back with an evil smirk.  Roque shook his head but left again.  He turned and punched at Jensen, who ducked and cackled, going to do something more life affirming than taunt Clay about Roque.  "Cougar, go beat his ass."

"He might give me ideas," Cougar complained.  "I'd hate that."  He nodded at the female scientist walking past them.  "John and Cupid are in the infirmary."

"Thanks," Mari said, heading that way.  She pounced Cupid, making him cackle and pull her around to hug.  "I need one of you tied up in my closet for easy access."

He kissed her on the forehead.  "Your mother would squeal like hell if you did, Mari.  Beyond that, you're not kinky enough for me."  He winked and she smirked then walked off.  He looked at the genuinely nice young woman - and wasn't that a shock since it wasn't really Xander's type - that he was here to talk to.  "So, let's chat," he told her with a grin.

"I'm still not fully with the idea of the golden apple thing," she admitted quietly, glancing around.

"I'm here to answer questions.  I had a human wife once."  She smiled and nodded, taking him to talk.  "John, go cure that itch before I send you something to help you.  Strife's been itching to come cause your enemies hell."

"I'm not sure if you can chaos the wraith or not," John admitted, walking off shaking his head.

Some woman came in and started to protest that Cupid couldn't be real and the wings had to be implants because humans weren't born that way.  He looked at her and snapped his fingers.  She found herself naked, tied upside down on a pier, with a sign around her neck that said 'Lost doggy, no collar or tags.  If she's yours, claim her.  If not, free to a good home.'  Someone saw it and called Sheppard.

He came out and shook his head.  "I do not need to see that.  Cut her down, take her to the shrink."  He walked off to get some hooch from Radek.  It was clearly going to be one of those sort of days on Atlantis.  He just hoped that Cupid didn't make a dildo fountain or anything to cure all the stress.  He'd never live that down.  Even the other demigods would pick on him about that.

The sergeant cut her down with some help and they carried her, still tied up and with the sign, to the psychologist's office.  "Ma'am, she appeared on the pier this way.  We're not sure why but Colonel Sheppard said for you to help her."  They handed her over and left at a jog to get away from all that mess.

The psychologist looked at her newest patient, getting some scissors to cut the ropes.  "Did you do this to yourself?"  She sniffled and shook her head.  "Any idea who did it to you?  That way I can file a report."

"Some mean guy that has totally illogical wings.  The ones that corrected me were right, wings are wrong and mean."  She took some tissues to blow her nose and went back to sniffling.  "He was really mean!"

"He was," she agreed, settling in to let the girl cry on her shoulder.  They'd deal with her imaginary winged friend later.  Clearly the stress had gotten to her and made her mind crack in a way that led her to risky sexual practices to get relief from all the stress.  She'd help her find her normal sexual identity and hopefully she'd get to date when she went back to earth.  They couldn't have anyone who couldn't handle stress on the city.

***

Xander appeared to Roque, frowning and pouting slightly.  "You remember that every decade or so surge of needing to get the chaos out?"

"Graphically since it nearly got me married to a demonic gorilla king."  He sat up, looking around his mortal apartment then at his former fiancee.  "Why?"

"It's getting itchy and I have no idea how to use it to help."

"Cupid was saying Atlantis needed the holy dildo spring but it'd mean people would have to fall into it to make it help," he said sarcastically.  "Why bring this shit to me?"

"That's actually not a bad idea, which is why I bring this shit to you."  He grinned.  "During the convention, one of the Xanders with the hormone problems talked about the pool he had that his Cupid help him with."  He created the picture that Xander had shown him in mid-air.  Roque stared and moaned, shuddering.  "Think it might help?"

"Only if people can get into it without being seen.  They *are* military, Xander.  That can get them in trouble."

Xander got that *urge*  that screwy, twisty, itchy chaos causing urge came directly from his father.  He winced and tried to hold it back.

Roque knew it'd be worse if he held it in, like a powerful fart, so he swatted him on the arm.  He felt the powers hit a few places and flopped backwards shaking his head.  "Go home."

"Yup.  Thanks."  He moaned and let out another power flux and then grabbed his stomach.  "I hate being the son of a chaos god sometimes.  Strife, help?" he called.

Strife showed up, nearly vibrating.  "Can't you hit your own people?" he asked, looking pitiful.

"I got that *urge*.  Roque gave me the idea!"  He was groaning and holding his stomach.  "Damn it!"

"Nice to know that  your power surges are really more like farts," Roque complained, kicking at him.  "Did any hit John's city?"

"Not yet," Strife said.  "Zeus's tub and Odin's tub both.  Loki's too."  He hauled Xander up and he did fart and let another power fart rip.  "That one hit Atlantis."  He took Xander to talk to Janus and the other chaos gods still around.  Hera stormed in looking highly pissed off.  "It was the son of a chaos god urge, Hera."

"I'm sorry," Xander moaned, looking at her.  "I tried really hard to hold it in."

She sighed and patted him on the cheek.  "At least he's not pregnant.  It might even do him some good."  She checked the lines of the power surge he had just had and nearly cackled.  Odin had been in his special soaking tub when the surge had hit too.  So had Cupid.  She checked the last one and Atlantis now had tentacle dildos going out to chase people down and take them back to its pool.  "Strife, we might want to help Jonathan," she said delicately.

He looked then at her.  "I'm not touchin' that.  It'll get me and then Cupid will piss himself.  Which will give me an even bigger rush."  Xander let out another fart and another power rush.  Now the tentacles were double-headed dildos chasing people down to pull back into their pool.  No guy was going to be able to cut those off without wincing.  And yup, Roque's mate was up there fighting a few of them off.

Hera got Xander something for his gas problem and sent him home.  She put a temporary shield up over Sunnydale so any other gas related power surges would stay in that town.  The vampires could have fun with that.  Strife whimpered and nearly started to cry when that happened and the tentacles got created there.  Though he did thoughtfully move one to cheer up Angel and his crew.  They needed the pre-battle stress relief.  They both felt Apollo show up with a better gas medicine and force it down Xander's throat, making it activate right then to stop all that problem.  Before the next one got him.

Hera and Strife shared a smile then she went to soothe Zeus's bellowing.  He went to hide with Cupid, who was nearly vibrating too.  Yeah, that was a good chaos son attack.  It'd power all the chaos gods for *years*.

***

Clay's earpiece woke him and he jumped up, grabbing his pants, boots, and his guns.  He headed out at a run, thinking somehow a wraith or a Genii had snuck onto the city and was attacking Pooch.  What he saw.... "What the fuck is that!" he shouted.

"Demented chaos god power surges!" John yelled back over the radio.  "Or the son of one!"

"If this was your brother's doing, I'm killing him," Evan yelled back.

Clay shot the dick and winced when it changed to a longer dick.  "How do we kill this!"

"I say we let the women do it," Evan called.  "Or else I'm going to need to be *very* drunk."

"I'll have Roque go get something," Clay complained, firing on them.  It got Pooch and Cougar free.  Jensen was in dragon form breathing fire at them.  They were mostly trying to get his tail and wings.  "Jensen, get smaller and go above them," he snapped.  Jensen tried that and was nearly netted by a few dildo tentacles working together.  "Never mind."

Jensen changed back and stomped them.  "Damn I want me some magic," he complained.  He stomped a few more.  "And a lot of liquor."

"Amen," Cougar said, his back to a wall because a few of them were trying to pull him down.  He nearly got tripped once but Pooch saved him and Jensen burned that one on him.  Cougar shuddered but it was better that the demonic dicks didn't win this round.  Dicks already won too many arguments in a man's life, this was one time to ignore them but never turn your back on them.

***

Up by Botany, John was fighting to get the scientists free of the labs.  "Guys!" he yelled.  "Come on!"  The majority ran for it.  A few.... not real fast.  John shot the tentacles, getting them off the scientists.  Though a few didn't seem to mind too much....  He was going to block that thought out of his head.  He did not want to know!  Thankfully McKay was behind him devising some sort of anti-tentacle device to hand to the women to kill the monster for them.

"I thought frat boys were pushy," one of the female scientists complained.

"If I had magic, I'd banish it at the demented bastard that created it," John said at her scowl in his direction.  "That's my brother, not me."

"Can't you call your mom?"

"My mother would enjoy this!" he complained.  "She's pregnant!"

"Never mind," she decided, stomping on one tentacle trying to climb her leg.  "I'm never touching another dick again!  They even bleed white stuff!"

McKay glanced back at her.  "Then pick up a sword or something," he said dryly.  "All the men are presently going through psychological damage."  She called on the other women to see what they were doing.  "Be more useful," he complained, having to stab a few that wanted him.

John mentally called for one of Xander's cousins and his own aunt.  She loved him and would save him.  Artemis really would.

The Valkyries looked around.  "Xander ate Mexican food," one complained.  They fired on the tentacle monster.  "There's more," the one in the lead reported.  "Go get them."  She spotted John.  "Both Odin and Zeus had sudden bathtime helpers too.  We gave him something for the pain and locked him in Sunnydale for a few days.  Though he said Roque gave him the idea."

"Roque heard Cupid say something about needing a holy dildo spring earlier then," John shot back, shooting the nearest tentacle to free Radek.  "Radek, move unless you *really* feel like an anime girl."  He jumped and got out of the way.  That unfortunately left Calvin Kavanagh open.  He couldn't really fight.  He had a nice handhold to grab him with the ponytail.  He...unfortunately went down with a shriek like a virgin at a gang bang.  They wouldn't speculate if he was one or not.  The valkyries eventually got all the monsters.  Artemis had shown up to help and even she was out of arrows.

Artemis looked around then at her favorite nephew.  "Your brother is no longer allowed to get ideas from Roque, eat Mexican food, or eliminate gas."

"His every decade 'my father's son' urge?" John asked blandly.

"Combined with Mexican food, yes."  She gave him a hug.  "It'll be all right, Jonathan.  Go drink yourself to sleep so you can imagine them as little, toothy creatures instead."

"That might help, yes," he said, shaking his head.  "Is Xander all right?"

"Hera locked him in Sunnydale after administering medicine.  The tentacle monsters there are having a lot of fun with all the vampires."  The godly women all left.

Clay stomped out to where John was leaning against a wall.  "I'm going to kill whoever did that."

"Xander ate Mexican food during his 'my father's son' urges.  He gets them about once a decade like all the other children of chaos gods.  Though, last decade we all had to relive Disco.  All of Valhalla, all of Olympus, a few other places, all went Disco for a week."  He looked at him.  "Only Ares and Cupid looked any good.  I killed the ever-recharging disco ball that followed me around for *days* so many times the people joking about it lost count."

"Xander's never getting gas pains again," Clay growled.  "Even if I have to let Roque open his ass up so far it'll whistle when he farts forever."

"It might not help since that does regrow to virgin levels if they weren't broken in before their final growth spurt," John said dryly.  "And I believe Xander was older."

Clay groaned.  "Still!"  John nodded.  "Radek, where's the hooch locker?" he called.

Radek looked over from helping a female scientist up off the floor.  "Is nearly empty unfortunately."

"Roque!" Clay bellowed, bringing him.  Roque blinked sleepily at him.  "We need hooch.  A shitload of hooch."

"Why?" he complained.  John showed him by touching him on the head.  "I didn't think it'd be more than sudden dildos in Odin's tub."  He went to get the needed hooch.  Having seen it from John's memories, he needed some too.  Before they decided to reanimate and attack him.  He got plenty of dick now, thank you very much.  Everyone got a bottle and then he took Clay to help him drink his.  Jensen was still clinging to the ceiling.  Cougar was perched on top of a plinth in the common area.  Pooch was as high up as he could go too.  "We good?" he demanded.

"I'm never getting dick again," Clay complained.  "And I'm thanking God I didn't fall."

Roque patted him.  "They can't compare to me anyway."

"You're not getting my ass ever again either!" he assured him.  "You're going to stay the wife!"

"We'll see.  Right now I just need sleep.  I was off killing drug makers earlier."  Clay nodded, taking him to get drunk and sleep.

Jensen hopped down and then helped Cougar and Pooch down.  "I say we get our own bottles."  They grabbed them from where Roque had dropped them and went to their own rooms.  Jensen had to go hide with Cougar because there was still one tentacle in his rooms wiggling around.  "Maybe being a girl wouldn't be so bad," he decided as he drank.  "At least I wouldn't get ambushed by dicks anymore."

Cougar kissed him to shut him up.  "You're never going to get laid again anyway.  I'll make sure of it."

"That's really nice of you.  Thank you!"  He gave him a hug.  He got up and went to tell Pooch that.  Pooch agreed that was a good idea too.  Though Jolene would probably giggle herself sick over that.

***

Strife decided to be nice and calm down the mob that wanted to kill his favorite 'nephew'.  He appeared in front of the mob, holding up a hand.  "Every kid of a chaos god gets that urge to break out," he noted.  "That's how they power themselves for the next decade."  They all groaned.  "Xander is Loki's son."  He grinned.  "And he got all of us too, people.  He couldn't help it but it was Mexican food and that urge that powers all us chaos sorts together.  He's real sorry."  He disappeared to talk to John, who was furious but still drunk.  Though, Zeus and Odin, still drunk too because not only were they molested by their tubs, but now they were women and pregnant.  Big breasted women with long hair, just like they'd usually hunt down.  Hera was having to hide her cackling each time she saw Zeusette.  Then again, Strife was just hiding before he got blamed and killed, again, for it.

***

Xander got screamed at by Faith and went to check on her.  "What?" he asked, looking sheepish.

She pointed at the smudge of dead tentacle.  "Was that your idea?" she demanded.

"Not fully?"  He shifted and grimaced.  "I did not know I sent one here."

"Uh-huh.  And it was anywhere why?" she demanded.

"Because it was by Godly, multi-pantheon decree that all chaos god offspring have a once a decade surge to power their needs so they would mostly leave humanity alone."  He stared at her.  "My father's still Loki."  She groaned.  "That was my once a decade surge and Mexican food combining.  I'm sorry!  I only meant to create the holy dildo spring that Cupid said my brother's people needed."

"Well, it went beyond that, boytoy," she said.  She smacked him on the cheek.  "Even Gunn got in on the 'oh dear' tweedy response and if he had glasses he'd have been cleaning them."

"I didn't send one anywhere near here!  I've been locked in Sunnydale for three days because I farted and those were created."

"If you're farting dicks, I don't wanna know," she complained.

"Making a holy dildo spring for military guys and farting combines to create a dick tentacle monster."

"I still don't wanna know," she said firmly.  "Are there others?"

"I think they've all been killed.  The Valkyries had to go save John's people.  So did Aunt Artemis."  He shook his head quickly.  "As far as I know there's no more.  I can check."

"Fury said you'd better check!" she ordered.  "Before they start attacking others!  They had a two-headed one in the Avenger's headquarters and he was *not* a happy camper."

"Sorry!"  He disappeared.  Even though he hoped it had lightened Angel's mood up some.  He went to check on Fury.  "I did not make them on purpose."

"I heard from Strife," he said bluntly, glaring at him.  "Especially about what your brother's people went through."

"I only meant to make the holy dildo spring that Cupid said they needed.  It's still up there too."

"Is it going to come out and attack?" he asked blandly.

"If so they can probably send it at their enemies?"

Fury looked at him.  "Not even Stark's mind goes such weird places."

"Mexican gas farts along with power surges."

"You're not allowed to eat beans ever again," Fury said bluntly.  "If I have to, I'll ask Thor and Hercules to ask their people to make it a mandatory rule."  Xander gave him a sheepish look.  "Go hide!"  Xander went to hide with his dog.  "And I thought Rosenburg was weird," he complained as he finished his report.  The president was not going to be amused.  Well, he might be amused but not in a good way.

***

"I put forth a decree to be decided upon," Ares said to the Olympus Council of Twelve.

"Why?" Zeus asked, trying to ignore the fact that he was now a very busty, very ugly woman with a beard and a growing stomach.

"So that the God Alexander is never allowed to eat any form of bean that might give him gas attacks ever again."

"Granted," Zeus said firmly, pounding his staff on the ground.

Artemis nodded.  "Seconded.  The tentacle monsters even gave me nightmares."

Athena gave her an odd look.  "What are you talking about?"  Artemis shared the vision of the battle against them with the rest of the Council.  Zeus shuddered and shrank in on himself.  He had only gotten the one from his tub that had impregnated him.  That was horrible and the men had to cut them off to kill it.  Which was causing more mental harm.  Athena cleared her throat once the battle was done with.  "Seconded."

"Anyone against?" Hera asked.  No one said anything.  "Ares, pass our new decree onto his people and have them reciprocate it."

"Yes, Hera."  He took the formally written version from Hermes and went to visit.  He walked into Valhalla and walked up to their Council, who were bickering with Odin, who was just as ugly of a woman as Zeus was.  He cleared his throat.  "Olympus has decreed that the God Alexander may no longer have any bean product that could give him gas.  We ask that you reciprocate."

Frigg stared at him.  "Was it really that bad of a power surge, Ares?"  He showed them Artemis' memories of the battle.  The women were giggling.  Odin and wincing and curling around his middle.

Tyr shook his head.  "I would have lost that battle right after losing my lunch and breakfast."  He looked at Thor, who was cackling.  "I know not how you can stand to watch that."

"Every time Loki says something displeasing about his son or daughters, cocks suddenly start to appear out of his verbal and other bodily orifices.  It takes a good ten or twenty minutes of power using to get even one cleared."

Frigg snickered, shaking her head.  "That sounds like Alexander."  She looked at Odin.  "You were in on the chaos son and daughter mandate."

"Alexander is never allowed to eat any bean product that could give him gas," Odin decreed, sending it out.  "Was Zeus bothered by this overly much?" he asked.

"Zeus is in the same state you are," Ares said dryly then disappeared to talk to Krishna's people.  They agreed as soon as he appeared. They were very happy that very little of the power surge had hit them.

Odin looked at his wife.  "Not one word."

"Of course not.  Though we'll have to get Healer Peter here to help you later on."  She called for him.  He and Apollo both came.  Apollo got an interested look.  "Are they each other's?"

Apollo shook his head.  "Both look to belong to a spirit instead of a physical parent."  He disappeared again, leaving it in Peter's tactful hands.  Apollo was about to giggle himself into a hernia over all that.

Peter looked at Odin.  "Let me check you over so I know when to come back," he said respectfully.  He laid a hand on his arm and felt along his power lines.  A twitch here and there and suddenly Odin was ready to bear his new daughter.  They got him hidden and her out of him within minutes.  Then the blessings started to rain in.  Including one from Xander that was for her to be a beautiful as all the other Goddesses combined, to have brains like Athena but the ego and attitude of Freya, and to be as humble as a maiden should be.

From Roque they got one for her to be as strong as any son and as emotionally steady as any grandmother.  Peter's own mother goddess gave her the fertility blessing for when she was old enough. That way she could bear healthy, godly twins.  With Athena's 'may she always bear strong daughters' she might even start a new line of Valkyrie.  The other pantheons sent their own well wishes and blessings for her health, beauty, and brains

Thor showed up and smiled down at his baby sister.  "It's good she'll be smart and wise.  She'll make a fine queen before Alexander has to take over."

"Women do not rule in Valhalla," Odin said firmly.  At least he was back in male form.

Thor, who had learned much from the scary goddess incident, looked at his father.  "They already do or else you wouldn't listen to your wife's wisdom about things and neither would the others.  Though not all are on the same levels of wisdom."  Freya rolled her eyes and Frigg was smiling at him.  He cooed at the baby.  "You will be a strong warrior, sister.  We will make sure your weapons are glorious in your hands when needed and peaceful thoughts fill your mind when they're not."  She burped and he laughed.  "I'm told babies do that."  He patted her on the head.  Abigail and the other women Freya had as temporary handmaidens while she was finding them spouses showed up to help with the baby.  "Abigail."

"Stepfather," she said, smiling slightly at him.  "She is beautiful."

"She is and blessed to be very wise and strong."  The women smiled and took her to take care of.

"She's to learn to be a normal woman," Odin reminded them.

Frigg snorted.  "Normal women know more than you think, Odin.  Including how to use weapons or else we'd never be able to defend our homes and families with our menfolk gone at wars."  She patted Thor on the arm.  "We will make sure she will not end up like that one on that show I saw."  She walked off with Freya.

Odin glared at Thor.  "Do not give your sisters ideas."  He snatched his hammer and walked off.

Thor felt himself depowered but then his hammer got grabbed.  "I want not to take over your goddess damned seat, All Father," Xander shouted.  "Quit giving my father opportunity to take over so I'd have to kill him!  And then the rest of you for making me do so!"  He walked past Thor and handed it over.  "Keep a better grip on it, Uncle.  I'm tired of this shit already."  He walked back there and aged her to a suitably safe age.  "There, now my father may not harm you."

He kissed her on the head.  She was about eight.  He looked down at her.  "Do not ever let my father talk you into things.  And if he tries, you call me and I'll come yell at him."  She beamed and nodded.  "Good, Aunt."  He patted her on the head.  "I have dwarves making her daggers suitable for a female warrior and later weapons.  Light and appropriate for her.  Until then," he said, handing over his old training sickles.  "Train on those."  She beamed and nodded, taking them to look over.

"Heimdall does an excellent job because sometimes Tyr is too busy."  He patted her again and walked off.  Odin was throwing a fit.  Xander stopped in front of him.  "You were the one that wanted us offspring to power the chaos gods for their necessary duties instead of letting them suck off the power of all other beings like you do.  You, Zeus, and the others throw a fit each time that curse you laid on us kicks in.  Get over it and act like a man!  You created the issue, deal with it!"

"I'll kill all the sons of our chaos sorts!" Odin yelled back.

"Have fun hanging yourself then, since you're one!"  Odin flinched and moved back.  Xander stared at him. "You didn't feel like sharing.  I see now where my father gets it from."  Odin growled.  Xander stared him down.  "Do you now need furry ears and a tail like a hunting hound?"  He glared at his father, who backed down.  Then at his grandfather.  He made the scroll appear and read it, including the signatures.  "That's who you can blame for having had her.  And by the way, she is now under *my* protection.  Any who harm my new aunt will face me."  He added power to that vow and most of the room flinched as it took hold.

"Aye, I will help you protect my new sister, nephew," Thor offered, walking over.  "Though your temper is quite high tonight."

"I'm tired of getting shit from things that were created into problems by others."  He glared at Odin, who stepped back.  "Next time, share better than a room full of children and it might not happen, but I can guarantee if that sort of power surge happens again you'll have another wonderful daughter.  Or become one permanently."  Odin walked off shuddering.  He looked at his father, who was already sprouting dicks.  "Leave.  Her.  Be."

"Fine," he mumbled, walking off.

Xander looked at Heimdall.  "I gave her my training sickles and she's got weapons being forged by the dwarves, suitable for a woman when she's of age."

He smiled and nodded.  "That will be very helpful and I will make sure the child is safe."  Xander stared at him.  "Not all of us care about the powerful seating."

"Good point.  Which is why I've always liked you, Uncle."  He walked off.

"You had to give my future power to your sister?" Loki demanded out at the doorway.

Xander looked at him then smacked him on the head.  "Each time you try to grab power, I'm all but ordered to kill your stupid ass, Father.  I don't particularly feel like killing relatives.  It's not like it's a battlefield.  Should you make me to protect her or others, then so be it."  Loki flinched.  "Quit being so selfish and look at it from other standpoints.  I don't want the damn seat, you shouldn't have it and if you try for it again they'll try to order me to kill you to protect them all.  I've had enough.  Maybe that's why she was born."  He disappeared.

Loki got a brainstorm of an idea and went to see who had been upsetting his son.  There was no way that all of Valhalla wanted him killed by his own son.  His brother perhaps but not his son.

Thor looked at him.  "If I'm not here, who would they turn to?" he asked, seeing the devious look.

Loki paused then looked at the others.  "You leave my son and daughters be.  They are not part of any of my plans and are not part of anything going on up here."

"I'm about to banish your son," Odin sneered.

"He's about to kill everyone for them demanding he kill me," Loki shot back.  "Including you probably."  Odin winced.  "You were a wiser ruler in your youth.  What ate your brain?"  He walked off scheming against his brothers and sisters.  His son was correct, it was not Alexander's duty to stop his father.   It was Thor and his other sibling's jobs to stop Loki's plans.

***

Xander appeared in Olympus and looked at the baby girl, laying a protection on her and blessing her at the same time.  "I feel like a fairy godmother, dear, but you need the protection."  He patted her on the foot, earning a coo.  He grinned.  "Like my own sister, you need protected.  You have bitchy relatives too."

"Yes but hers isn't her brother usually," Hera said from the doorway.

Xander looked at her.  "Prove it."

She snorted.  "They have vowed to let her grow up."

"Do you remember Tiberia?" he asked.  She thought back, shaking her head slowly.  He smiled.  "Hades?"  He appeared and added his own blessing to his newest niece.  "She doesn't remember Tiberia?"

"That's odd.  She had to judge it."  He showed her.  She growled.  Xander looked at her.  "Are they better now?"

"Some," she decided.  "You are right to protect her, Alexander.  I thank you."  He grinned.  "Your new aunt?"

"I grew her to eight and protected her, then had another shouting match with my grandfather and all those who wanted me to kill Loki when he grabbed power again.  I'm about to ask to be adopted by someone else.  Odin already turned her over to Frigg and Freya, plus their handmaidens.  I've put one in their presence to help her be trained for the time that Father goes near her."

"Good."  She patted him on the arm.  "We nearly asked to adopt you when you were younger and learning to get along with Jonathan."

He grinned.  "I might've taken you up on it."  She smiled.  "Anyway, I reminded Odin that he was one of the ones that put out the powering curse because he did not want to share.  And that's where my father got it from.  I also stated the next time it happened, he'd be having another daughter just like this one."  He grinned.  "I also laid a protection so she can't be killed by any of our relatives or their minions."

"Good job."  She patted him on the arm.  "They would only try to talk her to their sides."

"Ares would protect her, she's not a threat to him, but make sure she's trained?"

"Gladly," Hades agreed.  "She's a darling child but we have no idea what to name her over."

Xander ran a hand over her head and smiled.  "She's got quite the mind by the blessings.  She could be our librarian or our historian, or she could be our engineer."

"Hermes, Hephaestus, and Apollo all are over that," Hera admitted.  She called them and they came in to see if it would suit her.  It appeared it would so they called the full Council and others to dedicate her.  Hades and Alexander carried her out.  "We have talked about her placement."  The Council, including Zeus back in his original form, stared at her.  "With her blessings and her mind, we have decided to name her over Engineers and those who create machines."

"I agree to split mine," Apollo said.

"I agree to split mine," Hermes agreed, smiling and waving at her.

"I agree to split mine, and welcome the help as sometimes they confuse me," Hephaestus agreed, smiling and picking her up to hand to Hera.  "May you enrich humanity and your family, sister."

Hera laid the blessings and stared at Zeus.  "Is she going to have the mind for it?" he asked.

"Yes," Xander said with a grin.  "She's got a great mind for it.  You can ask Jonathan, he works with many of them."  He was summoned and smiled, cooing at the baby.  "They're making her over Engineers."

He tested her and nodded.  "She's got the right sort of twisting, complex thinking that most engineers I know use."  He took her to hold.  "Welcome to the family and when you're old enough I'll bring you to Atlantis to meet your head geeks, sweetness.   Rodney hates children but he'll adore you."  He kissed her on the temple.  "You only need to ask me for my protection and it is yours."  She glowed and beamed at him.  He smiled back.  "Good girl."  He handed her to Hera.  "She needs changed."

"I'll do so in a moment," she promised.  Alexander went and grabbed his new sister, bringing her to them.  "Alana."

"Alana, this is the Goddess Hera.  She holds Diama, who is now over Engineers."

"She's adorable, Goddess Hera."  She smiled.  "I'm sure she'll be very wise and strong."  She patted the baby on the foot.  "When you're older we can play."  The baby cooed and they all smiled at the forging of a new friendship.

Zeus took her to look at.  "While we did not plan on you, you are clearly a good addition to our family, Diama.  I name you over Engineers."  He anointed her and fed her the first dose of ambrosia, as is traditional.  She glowed and squealed, kicking and flailing happily.  He handed her back.  "She is a bit squishy."

Hera rolled her eyes and changed her.  "There.  Now, let's dress you properly.  You should always be properly clothed in front of the Council."  She did that and Xander changed the color and decoration.  She smiled.  "Leopard print?"

"It goes well with her hair and eyes."

"It does," Athena admitted.  "Though not very traditional."  Xander gave her a pointed look.  "She does suit it though."  She took her to hold.  "You will be most wise, like I am."  She kissed her and passed her to Ares to give his own blessing.

"You'll be protected and protective, Diama.  It's been a while since we had a baby up here but we'll handle it and I'll teach you how to protect yourself."  He kissed her and handed her on.  John had already blessed her so he handed her to Apollo, who blessed her and handed her on.

Frigg appeared and smiled, waving at the baby.  "Our blessings upon your birth as well, Diama.  May you live a long, happy, complex life that leads to much joy and little boredom."  Hera beamed at her.  "Alexander, are you done with your sister?"

"No."

"Fine."  She stared at him.  He stared back.  "We will protect her from the menfolk."

"It's not them I'm worried about."

"Good point and she'll go to fostering with the dwarf queen for a few months.  That way they can fit her new weapons and teach her much."

Xander gathered some of his people, and added in a few others to their own surprise, and took his new sister out of time.  When they got back, she was a radiant eighteen-year-old Goddess.  Alana looked at him.  "I thank you for protecting me, nephew, and I know why it was for the best."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "Go pick flowers."

She swatted him.  "After I present myself."  She winked and walked over to her stepmother.  "Stepmother."

"Alana."  She tested her and found her strong minded, strong willed, and strong bodied with the knowledge to protect herself and others.  "Your father would probably want you on a horse," she muttered.

"No, I think not.   I may be pure of deed but not thought."  Frigg gaped then stared at Xander, who grinned and wiggled his fingers.  "That protects me from those who think I am innocent and wish to play that way or push me into an indelicate situation."

"It would," she agreed, looking at the young woman.  "You are over female warriors."

"Thank you."  They moved the party to Valhalla for her naming.  She walked in and Odin stared at her in horror.  "Father."

"Daughter," he said.  He stood up and looked at her.  He came down to touch her forehead and test her mind.  "Your nephew has a hind end kicking coming."

"He protected me so that none can use me," she said quietly.  "Including those who would wish for power through my loins."

He considered it.  "Your nephew has many plans."

"Including naming her over the female warriors we all have," Frigg agreed.  She sat down.  "It is a fitting one, she is one of them, and strong enough to help those who need it."  Odin stared at her.  "Modern women can be warriors.  As were some of ours."  She pointed at the Valkyries.

Odin considered it.  It was a position of low power but immense potential.  "I can agree to that.  Once she passes her tests."  She turned and bowed to Tyr then attacked him.  He fought back and she was good.  Odin watched, blinking a few times.  "Who trained her in combat?"  Xander raised his hand with John.  "I see.  She shows much of your style, grandson."

"I brought some of the best in what she would need to learn out of time to train her, Grandfather.  To suit her position she needed it."

"She does."  He glared at his grandson.  "We will be talking."

"No we won't."  He stared at him.  Then at his own father, who nodded he was going to leave her alone.  He smiled back at his grandfather.  "Finally I have someone I can work with on the protection of all the villages."

Odin gaped, staring at him.  "Yes, she would be helping you," he realized.  "Enough."  Alana stepped back.  "Fine, you are now our Goddess over Female Warriors."  He anointed her and she glowed then bowed and smiled at him.  "Work with your nephew and others to protect our villages and the women you watch over."

"I shall."  She backed up.

"We will talk about your future marriage some other time," Odin said.

She looked at him.  "I have no need of a husband yet, Father.  I need more training first."  Odin gaped.  "I know enough of that art to not be innocent when someone tries me like they have tried my aunts in the past, but I do not need to bed a man to rid myself of the last of my purity for a long time.  There is much to do before then and frankly, there are ways to handle that."  She walked off to talk to her Valkyries.  They were all happy with her ascending and it took them out of a lot of power plays as well.

Xander grinned.  "That way no one could trap her as they have others," he said, nodding at Freya, who beamed and nodded back.  He looked at Odin.  "Women don't have to wed upon their adult birthday.  It's not really mandatory."

"Good women wed."

"Then you'd let the Valkyries have their warriors."

Odin gaped then cleared his throat.  "That is a point."

"She would be over them as well."

"Fine.  She may come to me within two years with an idea of who she would like to court and I will approve or not."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "Tyr, may I have more training time?"

"Yes," he agreed.  "And we'll go to the dwarves together to make sure your weapons will suit you."  She beamed and nodded, bouncing over to hug him then back to her warriors.  He looked at Alexander.  "She is a suitable co-worker for your duties."  Xander beamed at that compliment.  "Who is this one then?" he asked, spotting the new Goddess.

"Diama, who is over Engineers."  Xander and John took her to present her.  "Council, this is the newest daughter of Olympus, Diama."

"She is absolutely adorable," the others cooed and welcomed her.  Hera smiled.

"When she is old enough, we will bring her to the dwarves so they may share their own ideas," Thor said with a smile and a wave at her.  "So very cute."

Hera took her back.  "She would probably like that.  That and Alana promised they would be good friends."

"I like the forging of new, strong ties between our families," Frigg agreed.  The others in the room nodded.

Loki walked over and looked at her.  "You will be as strong as my new sister is, both of will and of body," he praised, patting her on the foot.  "And hopefully have less temper than Alexander but more patience and his understanding of how the Councils work."  They smiled at him.  He looked at his son.  "We shall talk."

"We have talked, Father."  He smiled at her, taking her to hold.  "You're adorable.  Even if your butt does smell you're adorable.  You might even make me want to have one some day."  She cooed at him and smiled.  He grinned back.  He handed her back.  Hera and the others went home now that the official stuff happened.  He looked at his father.  "Someone has to protect the innocents."  He walked off, taking John and the pictures he had taken home.

John went home for a minute and stole Diama, taking her to his city.  He stood on a balcony, letting her absorb the knowledge around her.  "This is my city, Atlantis, cousin," he said quietly.  "Some day, all of your geeks will know of her and love her as I do and they do."  He let her touch a nearby wall and it glowed.  She smiled at him.  He grinned back.  "You're adorable and wonderful.  You'll make a fine engineer who will drive us all nuts with your inventions."

Someone cleared their throat and came out to join him.  Mari looked over his arm.  "Greetings, Diama.  Welcome to this insane family group."  The baby smiled.  "I'd hold you but if I do then an old curse will pop up and I'll want to get married."  John patted her on the head.  "Showing her off to her new people?"

"Showing the city to her.  She can wait until she's older to stare at Rodney in awe."

She grinned.  "She might, yeah."  Peter came out and cooed at her, taking her to check over.  "She's fine, Doc."

"She is," he agreed, handing her back.  "I felt the city acknowledge her."

Clay walked out and handed John something.  "Roque dropped that off and went to rescue Xander from a pissing match with his father."

"Xander protected his new sister from everything."  He put the necklace on her, making her giggle.  "He's a strong protector and he'll do that as long as you never double-cross him, cousin.  Roque is a very strong protector."  Rodney walked out with Jensen.  "Hey.  I was going to give you a few years for her to grow up before introducing you."

Jensen smiled.  "Greetings from my people, Goddess...."

"Diama."

"Diama.  Blessings upon your birth from us as well.  We look forward to your future wisdom," he said in his native language.

Rodney stared at the baby staring at him.  "Why is she staring?"

"She got named over Engineers, Rodney. You're about her high priest on this city," John said dryly.  He made him hold her and she bathed Rodney in a glow.  He moaned and handed her back.  "Schematics?"

"Of the whole city," he muttered, taking Jensen's computer to start drawing them out.  She giggled and John took her home.  Rodney wandered off to finish drawing those out.  They'd only help.

Clay looked at Jensen.  "Does that make you a dweeby, incompetent ambassador?"

"No, on the city Radek would be."

"Good.  I hated rescuing ambassadors."  They walked off together, Jensen chatting about that stuff.  Clay had to get used how councils worked.  He was Roque's mate and he'd have to deal with it some year far in the future.  Since they were bored right now, he could learn that.

***

Odin heard the renewal of vows and looked across his various relatives and Gods.  "It is the decree of Valhalla that we will have to prepare for another generation.  Those who are sons of Valhalla but not married will be by the end of a year.  Unless I have given dispensation."

Xander snickered.  "Or what, you'll kick us out?  Take our jobs from us?"

"Yes, I will."  He smirked.

"You do realize that I have fathered two different energy pregnancies in the last month."  Odin gaped in horror.  He grinned.  "Isn't that what you asked Hera to do?"  Odin moaned.  "As for marriage, I can take a consort and never produce an heir.  After all, I'm not a son, I'm a grandson."

Odin stared at him.  "You will and I will have to be presented with your heir by then."

"I have an heir.  Her name is Alana.  Should I fall, my duties, all of my duties, will go to her."

"You still have to marry, Grandson."

"That's fine.  I will choose wisely to help me."  He walked off humming.  That was probably a bad sign.

Roque and John, who had technical titles within Valhalla, both winced.  That was going to be bad.

10: Plotting Old Ones

Xander has to go with Odin's decree.  In a way that's uniquely his own.

"Why don't you want to get remarried?" the young woman muttered as she stomped away from the Greek Council of Twelve.  "You have been alone a long time and it is starting to wear on you," she mimicked.

"Then the answer to that is to take an official consort," a male voice said from behind her.

She squealed and jumped, hand going to her chest when she saw the smirking bastard standing there.  "Xander!  Don't scare me that way!"

He walked closer, kissing her on the cheek.  "Bia, we both have that problem."

"You scared yourself?" she snorted.

"No, Odin ordered us all to marry with a year."  Her mouth opened and all that came out was a tiny whimper of fear.  He smirked.  "I've talked with the woman I'm dating, who still doesn't want to be immortal.  She suggested I ...move around the plans."

Bia swallowed.  "Why me?"

"I'm getting the same damn thing you are."  He smirked harder.  "And for the same reasons."

She shivered.   "That could backfire."

"Possibly," he agreed.  "But no one says it has to be consummated.  Or that we have to do more than set a date.  Because, think about things."

She considered it.  Being his fiancé would give her a lot of status.  It would definitely get Hestia and Hera off her back.  It would get Odin off Xander's back and they all knew that Xander was looking for a way to destroy the ego that wouldn't leave him in peace.  She swallowed.  "Hera would hate that idea."

"Hera would adore that idea."  He grinned.  "Because it would mean that we might slip and falter a bit."

"I really don't want a husband."

"Me either.  But if I don't he'll pick one for me.  Caroline thought it was brilliant."

She smiled.  "I heard how Cupid described her.  She sounds nice."  She considered all the implications.  "You'd have to ask my parents."

"That's fine.  Your mom's pretty savvy."  He winked and took her hand to walk her off.  Her parents were home and both stared at them.  He grinned.  "Odin demanded that I marry within the year."

Bia's mother, Styx, stared at her daughter then at Xander.  "Is that your grand idea?"

"With the way she's being nagged, I'm being nagged....."  He grinned.

Pallas cleared his throat.  "I heard rumors that you were dating a mortal."

"I am and she suggested it."  He grinned.  "She doesn't want to be immortal."

"That figures," Pallas decided.  "It's a hard thing to give up."  He looked at his daughter.  "It would be quite a coup.  You've been friends for years.  It'd let you get away from Hestia."  She nodded.  "Alexander, how would you take care of her?"

He grinned.  "It would be a marriage of convenience and protocol."

Styx burst out cackling.  "Hera would loathe that."

"Not really.  Hera?" he called.   She appeared, blinking at him.  "Sorry for the rude summons.  I'm sure you've heard."

She rolled her eyes.  "I have."  She looked at the goddess next to Xander.  Then at him.  She cleared her throat.  "You two have been friends for centuries."

"A marriage of protocol would be enough for everyone and Caroline likes it," Xander admitted with a grin.

Hera considered it.  "It would give us stronger ties to your people but a marriage of protocol has a time limit, usually of a century.  Which would be long past Caroline's time."

"Usually," Xander agreed.  "But I'm a young god.  You'd never need that long to make an alliance and hope for kids since I'd never bed her anyway.  She's much too wild for me."  Bia hit him on the arm.  "And she's abusive."  He grinned at her.  She swatted him again.

Hera snickered.  "That is absolutely a grand idea.  It would also let Hestia quit nagging and drawing me into it, Bia."  The younger goddess grinned at her.  "Do you consent?"

She looked at her parents.

"A marriage of protocol for a decade would do her good," her mother decided, smiling at her daughter.  "It'd also help Xander as he sets up things."

"Which I could use," Xander agreed. "I almost asked Mari to break the curse on her."

Hera shivered.  "That would be some loud parties at your temple, Alexander."  He kissed her on the cheek.  She looked at Pallas.

"I believe it would do her good," he decided after checking on his daughter's expression.  She grinned.  "It would let her have a decade of peace and quiet if nothing else."

"It would," Bia realized, looking at Xander, who grinned back.  "Then I accept.  But I want a massive ring I can flash."

He pulled one from his temple, holding it up.  "Like that or bigger?"

She moaned.  It was a pretty light greenish diamond surrounded by a equally light green jade frame on platinum.  "That's beautiful.  It goes with my eyes."  She put it on.

Hera brought them back to the Council's chambers.  "We are witnessing a marriage of protocol," she announced.  Aphrodite and Cupid both appeared to protest but Xander shook his head at them and they stared, mouths open.

"Oh, dude!" Cupid shouted, smirking at him.  "That's *so* almost a Strifian idea!"  He hugged Bia.  "Congrats."

"Thank you, Cupid.  Aphrodite?"

She considered it.  "You're friends.  You can handle it for a century."

"A decade," Hera said.  "Alexander is a young god.  He needs a consort who can fix things on him as he sets them up."  Zeus appeared looking displeased until he saw who it was.  Then he cleared his throat a few times and looked at his wife.  She smiled.  "It's an inspired choice for a marriage of protocol, don't you think, Zeus?"

He considered it then nodded.  "It is.  Do both parties and their families agree?"

"Odin ordered me wed within the year," Xander said with a grin.  "Who better for a consort than one I used to play with?"

Zeus looked at him.  "If Odin starts to kill you, we'll try to protect you, Alexander."

Hera did the short ceremony, making sure they all heard it was a decade-long commitment that only needed her being asked to be let out of it.   She did the binding and bells rang all over Olympus.  She smiled and let them kiss then go tell others.

***

John looked up at the sound of bells.  Others were hearing it too and looked at him.  John shrugged.  "A powerful alignment on Olympus or a blessed wedding," he explained.

Cupid appeared with a beaming, happy smile.  "Xander asked for a marriage of protocol to one of ours."  He hugged him.  "It *so* rocks the rules."  He winked.  "By the way, he created the fountain for us too, John.  Maybe you should take a dip."  He disappeared.

John shivered.  "This is so going to be not good," he complained, calling Mari.  "Mari?  Cupid said Xander just entered into a marriage of protocol."  He hung up on her swearing.  That was a bad sign.  He called Caroline, who was giggling and said that she had suggested it to get everyone off their backs.  John hung up on her too.  Because now he had a headache and it was probably still a really bad thing.

***

Hermes appeared in the bar that most of the immortals drank and hung out in while they were in London.  "Hear ye, hear ye."  Everyone put down their drinks and stared at him, even the normals.  It was clearly something huge.  "Zeus and Hera are pleased to announce that the God Alexander, Protector of Humanity, has agreed to and entered into an agreement for a marriage of protocol."  A few people choked.  "He and his *consort* Bia are to be married for the term of a decade.  If any spawn should occur we'll alert you all to hide in fear."  He rolled up the scroll, got his own beer to drink, and disappeared.

One of the immortals looked around.  "What did Odin do this time!" she demanded.

Kyra looked over.  "Odin told him he had to marry within a year."  She gulped her drink and went to get a double shot and another beer.  She had been the victim of a prank from Xander and Bia.

The others sent out messages to their contacts and friends.  They had to be warned.

***

Roque got the text message from one of the other immortals while he was attending his mother.  There had been some civil unrest near their homes and Roque needed to take care of it.  He licked his lips and then sighed.  "Mother, does that say what I think it does?"

She took the phone to read, nodding.  "It says that Alexander has now done what Odin wanted and is going to piss off that whole pantheon over that high-handed demand, my son."  She handed it back and kissed him on the cheek.  "He and Bia are friends."

"They're good friends.  They played and pranked each other for centuries," he agreed calmly.  He texted Xander to warn him next time so he'd have something on hand to drink.  "I should check on the lady he was dating later," he muttered.

"She's a beautiful woman but nowhere near ready to settle down.  In a decade, perhaps she will be."  She winked and strolled off.  "It does allow him to keep dating her and Bia to find someone in the wider world that she may enjoy, my son.  Plus let everyone quit nagging them."

"Yeah," he said dryly.  "Maybe."  He walked off shaking his head with a subdued whimper.  One of the guards sneered at him.  "Let it be known that the God Alexander, my former intended, has now married Bia in a marriage of protocol," he announced in the courtyard.  Somewhere, someone thumped and another few started to cry.  He smirked.  That just made people *so* happy.

Now everyone could have his headache with him.

****

Thor's phone, that he never used or could ever hope to understand, went off.  He scowled at it.  "Stark, this foul creation whines at me again."

"It's a text message," he said, taking it to look at.  "Huh.  How does that work?"  He let Thor see it.

Thor swallowed hard.  "All Father is going to rend all of Valhalla into bricks," he muttered.  "Nephew?" he called loudly.

A sign appeared.  "Xander and Bia are on our honeymoon planning his temple and introducing her to other godlings of her status so she can meet some nice people, since no one ever let her off Olympus before.  We will be back in two weeks," the sign said in  a pleasing, female voice that sounded a lot like the computer on Star Trek for some reason.

Thor squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead.  "That's going to be so bad," he mumbled.  He got up and went to get something from the nice doctors.  He'd have to talk to Caroline later to make sure she wasn't upset.

Tony Stark sent an email from his phone to Fury.  That was really looking like a problem with the way Thor reacted.  What was a marriage of protocol anyway?

***

Roque sat down in that same bar, summoning Thor and a few others he knew.  "Caroline *suggested* it because she's not ready yet."  Thor whimpered.  "Mari told her about Bia and about the group that used to play.  She was giggling over it and Bia introduced herself to her.  Plus it lets Bia off the mountain to meet others she might like more."  He got handed a drink by the bartender.  "Thanks, Mort."  He sipped and put the beer down on the table.  "It does mean that Bia can fill in all those gaps that Xander hasn't gotten to yet during his setting up period."  They all nodded.  A few whined.  "He said he almost asked Mari to get that curse of hers destroyed but she might like to snuggle too much."  He took another drink.

"All Father will be most unhappy," Thor said quietly.

"Not much he can do about it," Roque quipped.  "If he tries, it'll start a war with Olympus."

Thor blinked.  "That would," he realized.  "When did my nephew learn strategy?"

"He's had it," one of the others said dryly.  "Or don't you remember raids to help out your people now and then?"

"Point," Thor admitted.  He rubbed his forehead again.  "My own girlfriend wanted to yell at Odin All Father for his decree."

"You're divorced, you don't need to remarry," Roque said.

"By the way he worded his proclamation, you need to marry one who is fertile," Thor shot back, putting up a view of the ceremony's end.

Roque stared.  "I've only got a ceremonial one.  And he can't say anything about my mate."

Thor smiled.  "You are mated?  That is good news, Roque.  I wish you both happiness and less stress.  Does your mother know?"

"And sobbed.  She was pregnant for those two Rainforest godlings."  They shared a smirk.  "Xander's mother is due to have twin girls soon."  The others moaned and nodded.  Roque finished his beer.  "Other than that, if Odin tried, he'd have to end himself.  His own marriage hasn't had any children and I doubt Alana would count since she's just Odin's."

Tyr appeared, looking confused.  "What is he doing?" he asked Roque.  "Strife has appeared, stared silently at Loki, then disappeared cackling *twice* now.  Even Freya and her twin are getting worried."

Roque smiled and Thor brought the sign that had appeared to him.  Roque pointed with a smirk.

Tyr stared then at Roque.  "His female companion?"

"Liked it.  She's not ready yet," Roque said with a smirk.

"Oh, dear," Tyr said in a tiny voice.  "Um....  All Father is going to throw a fit."  He disappeared with a sigh to start spreading rumors.

Thor and Roque shared a look.  "I'll be hiding," Thor announced.  "All that week."  He got his own drink and took it home with him.

Roque got his own second drink and they saluted Xander and Bia.  Because they were both crazy.

***

Thor walked in the next day, hungover and not in a pleasant mood.  "Thor, what's a marriage of protocol?" Dawn asked.

He blinked at her.  At least she respected his headache and spoke quietly enough.  "It's to make alignments."

"Like what Roque's mother did with the two hotty, young Rainforest gods?"

He nodded.  "In that case there was no marriage, just the child to align them but basically, yes.  It makes her a consort and able to help him handle things going on."

She handed him a soda.  "Caffeine could help that hangover.  Should we buy presents?"

Thor looked at her.  "Just stay out of the way when All Father hears," he mumbled.  "I will be.  We can create one of those holes like on that show for the wolf."

She looked confused.  "Coyote's hole," someone female called.

"Oh!"  Dawn smiled and nodded.  "We'll need one when my mother hears too.  I'll make sure it's stocked with chocolate and ice cream."  She walked off to figure out how to make one of those.

Thor drank the soda and it did help some of his mood improve but he was still waiting for the official announcement.  That would be when the universe might end.

***

Xander and Bia had planned this very well.  They showed up at the end of the Asgard Council for the week.  Xander snapped his fingers and trumpets went off.  Everyone jumped and stared at the doorway.  They walked out of the shadows with a herald.

"The lone grandson of Odin All Father is returning to Valhalla with his bride," the herald crowed.  Loki choked so hard he was turning blue in his corner.  "We hereby proclaim the marriage of the God Alexander, Protector of Humanity, and the Goddess Bia of Olympus."  He got out of the way and bowed.

Bia winked at him.  "Thank you, Herald."

"Thank you, m'lady."  He disappeared with a wink at her and Xander.  He was one of their friends.  It was so cool.

Odin stood up.  "What was all that noise, Grandson?"

"A true proclamation deserves a herald, especially such an important one as the only grandson in Valhalla following the dictates of his grandfather."  He kissed Bia on the cheek.  Loki was still choking.  One of the Valkyries was trying to help Loki by beating on his back but it wasn't helping very much.

Bia walked over and patted him on the arm.  "It's all right, I will be a good helpmate for your son for the term of our consortship," she said quietly.  He stared at her, still coughing.  Then he faded out with a whimper.  She walked back to hug Alana.  "Sister."

"Sister."  She grinned at Alexander.  "Congratulations."

"Thank you, sister."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "You are still welcome in our temple, just give us some warning first."  He smirked.  She cackled and nodded, going to help Heimdall quit choking.  Xander smiled at Frigg.  "Goddess Frigg, grandmother, this is my wife, Bia."

She stood up and came down, smiling and embracing her.  "It's a welcome sight for him to have you however long this marriage is due to last.  Is it a permanent union, grandson?"

"It is a marriage of protocol," he admitted.  "My mortal girlfriend cannot see us married for years yet.  That would break All Father's decrees so I chose the next best thing, a friend I have had for years."

"I remember seeing Bia before," she agreed, smiling at her.  "Will there be issue?"

"Possibly not," Bia admitted.  "My father wishes one but I'm not sure I want to."

Frigg smiled and nodded.  "That is reasonable.  You're still young, both of you."  She gave Xander a pointed look then went back to her seat.  "Freya, what say you?"

"We have liked their friendship and their consortship will be good for the century it is to last."

"Decade," Xander corrected quietly with a grin.  Freya could feel the mischief energy now.  She was starting to scratch.  Strife gave her the same itchy feeling.  Xander bowed to Odin, followed by Bia.  "So, Grandfather, this is my wife.  I brought her to formally announce our union."

"You were not married in front of your natal family?" he demanded coolly.

"No, we were married in front of her natal family since ours was not in meeting then."  He smiled.  "That way no one could hinder our union.  Mother's awake and knows.  She spent two days crying on Bia.  Krishna and the rest agreed she was a good choice and would make a wonderful consort."  He grinned.  "We came to hold the most important, announcements last as my father would probably have much to say if he was here again."

Odin cleared his throat.  "This is not what I was expecting.  I was expecting you to find a mate that wanted children immediately."

Xander shrugged with a grin.  "I'm not that fond of children and I'll have a few some decade far in the future.  After all, it's not as important for me to have one as it is for my uncles and aunts as my father isn't in the succession lineage."

Odin licked his lips and nodded.  "That is true," he admitted.  "She's pretty.  Does she have a job in her pantheon?"

Xander looked at her.  "I'm the binder of Prometheus and I am also the Goddess of Force."  She smiled.  "Though it's nice that a few Star Wars fans have started to pray to me as well."

"Hmm.  Are you one of Zeus's get?"

She snickered.  "No, Grandfather Odin, I'm the daughter of Titan Pallas and the Goddess Styx."

He nodded.  "Then you would be a capable administrator and mate for my grandson?"

"I will be but we are consorts.  Until I decide or he begs otherwise.  Though we have been friends for years, a marriage is completely different."

He nodded.  "It is, yes," he decided.  He looked at his grandson.  His only grandson.  He couldn't smite him.  Loki would destroy everyone and Xander himself would kill him.  Xander was smiling.  "I do believe the decree was that you produce children soon."

"That would be fine as I've already fathered two energy pregnancies when you sent me to Hera for that duty.  Plus I've blessed the wombs of two of the minor wives in Mother's pantheon to help them conceive with their warrior husbands."

Odin blinked a few times.  "They will not be yours."

"They will bear the taint of my blessing and my heir is still my sister Alana as we share a duty."  He smiled at her and she grinned back.  Then he smiled at his grandmother.  "Does that not count as having heirs and children?"

"It does," she agreed.  "Especially with the unique taint you carry from your own blessings and how they got stuck in."  She patted Odin's hand, making him relax.  "It's a wonderful thing and I'm sure she'll do wonderfully helping him set up his temples and procedures.  She's much like what I was when I was younger by what we've seen when she visited in the past."

Odin nodded once.  "True."  He stared at them.  "A century?"

"A decade."

Odin considered that.  His official decree had said that each of his offspring had to have a child within a decade that was worthy of being an heir.  "We would still need a better heir by then.  One that would be suitable."

"Are we Sparta now?" Xander asked dryly.  "Throwing heirs out if they're not perfect?"

"No," Odin said.  "I would not go that far, but each of you needs an heir."

"I have an heir.  My sister Alana and I share a duty.  If I should fall, that duty is hers alone and therefore she is my heir.  Any ankle-biting heirs in the future would be weighed against her wonderfulness and then be trained for their duties that I would find them in my own temple."  He smiled at her then at his grandfather again.

"Though I'm not really looking forward to being more than a stepmother, Grandfather Odin," Bia said with a smile.  "It's a lot of work raising a child, especially a godly one."

"It is," Frigg agreed, smiling at her.  "And I'm sure yours with Alexander would drive us all nuts like he and Thor did at times."  Bia smiled and nodded.  She patted Odin's hand again.  "We accept this marriage of protocol and the date built into it.  I hope she helps you much, grandson."

"Thank you, Grandmother.  Grandfather?"

Odin waved a hand.  "You have done as I have decreed," he sighed.  "Thank you, Grandson."

"I hope I'm not the only one sometime soon.  After all, it's lonely being me."  He stared at a few of his uncles.  Then he and Bia disappeared in a golden shower of sprinkles and twinkles.

Odin sighed and slumped in his throne.  Everyone else was chatting about this news.  This was huge!  Loki was still missing as well so perhaps he was plotting against his own son this time.

Loki appeared, looking calm and collected.  He had went into the nearest void to get control of himself and throw a fit.  "I wish my son and new daughter-in-law much blessings and happiness for as long as their contract lasts.  I'm sure they'll have much fun and happiness settling him into his own temple."  He looked at his brothers and cousins, who were all giving him strange looks.  He smirked.  "Bia is not the ideal wife I would give him but she is more than suitable and was the one that helped him and Jonathan with many plots and plans."  He strolled off looking unconcerned.  Alexander's method of getting around the stupidity of Odin's proclamation was very shocking but very nice in its own way.  Plus he wouldn't have any grandchildren anytime soon.

Odin got up and walked off, talking to his ravens.  His wife followed, smiling and happy.  She could help him calm his thoughts until he was rational.

The others in the halls went back to gossiping and thinking up wild ideas about how that had come around.

***

Ares appeared in Xander's present apartment.  "This is a dump," he said, looking around.

"My mortal identity isn't rich," he said, eating some popcorn.  "What's up, Ares?"

"Your temple."  He stared at him.  "Where is it going?"

"Ummmm....  On a protected mountain?"

"And?" Ares pressed.

"With more than enough area for training, farming for self-sufficiency, and caves so I can do the creepy testing thing?"  He ate another bite.

"Which country?" Ares asked sarcastically.  Xander pointed since he had just eaten a piece of cheeto.  "Why?" he complained.

"I do a lot of my work over here?"  He shrugged.  "That way some people can find my dumb ass."  He ate another cheeto then rolled back up the bag and got up, changing his clothes and taking Ares with him.  Bia was there decorating.  He waved a hand.  "My mountain temple."

Ares looked around.  It was fairly bland at the moment.  A nice throne room that wasn't *too* formal.  Presently it held tables with fabric samples.  Open windows to air it out.  He searched around with his powers.  A lot of sleeping quarters, a few other buildings that had bunk rooms.  A large master suite with two bedrooms and a large living room.  Down the mountain he could feel some farms being started and some practice areas being set up.  Also a cave that already had a shiny, sparkling thing that would draw attention.  He looked at the kid.  Then he shook his head with a sigh.  "I suppose it beats Valhalla if only because you don't need torches."

Xander and Bia both grinned.  She took his arm to look over the armory and the practice areas.  Xander had told her what he'd need and she had sculpted the mountain to do that.  He did the buildings.  Bia bragged about all she could do to help Xander's new temple.

Ares looked at her.  "What about hiding it better?  It's possible for mortals to get up here."

"They should be able to for training.  And he's asking some of the native Gods and Goddesses to protect it too."

Ares nodded, sending Zeus a note mentally.  Zeus laid a protection like was around Olympus so only godly offspring and those that *really* wanted it could find it and get up there.  Or if they were invited.  She beamed and hugged him then pulled him to look over her berry patch.  "That'll be helpful to teach the warriors how to get out of things."  She swatted him and shook her head, showing the obstacle course.  It was very evil looking and Ares grinned, taking pictures to send to Discord so she could up theirs.  "That'll do," he decided.  They went back inside where Xander was making a snack.

"Thank him for us."

"I will."  They settled in to go over Xander's new plans.  Ares had been helping the kid before but Bia was a capable administrator and the touch of softness the warriors would need when they were homesick.

Roque appeared and suddenly there was a new temple going up.  He strolled inside.  "I'm starting the stretching spell."

Ares summoned Hephaestus to help and he came to fix the problems immediately.  Suddenly their mountain was as big as Olympus, had more temples waiting to be claimed, and a lot of pretty statuary.  Xander got up to hug him and gave him a snack too.  Hephie grinned and came in to talk to the young gods.  They always had plans and he was bored anyway.

***

Roque brought Clay home to their new temple, letting him look around.  "Jensen will be pissed if I don't bring back beer this time," Clay joked.

Roque smirked.  "We have some for you to bring back and make him beg for."  He pointed.  "That's Xander and Bia's place.  Their rooms are in the back."  He took him down to look at the obstacle courses and the training yards.  "For us to knock some greenies down."

"That's going to be a bitch," Clay praised with an evil smirk.  "Jensen's going to hate that.  Do we have ones for helping him learn how to fight while flying?"

"They teach their own young that."  He walked him around the 'base' area and it got approved by Clay.  Then they went home.  Roque was feeling uncomfortably mushy and hated it about himself.  Somewhere a love goddess was getting her happies in about their lives.

Clay glanced at him.  "If you try to pick me up and carry me inside I'll beat you to death."

"Good!  Not my style anyway."  That broke the mushy feeling.  They went in to get some beers and sit outside to watch the stars and see what Clay needed him to add to the temple.

"There's a lot of plants."

"My mother's already appeared, approved, painted, put down bedspreads, and then left again," Roque quipped, sipping his beer.

"All the statues?"

"Hephaestus."

Clay nodded.  "It looks good.  A bit formal but good."  Roque smirked and nodded.  "When do we get training grunts?"

"I think Fury's sending some of his green agents for training."

"Wonderful.  Xander would probably be over them too."  Roque nodded with an evil smirk.  "I hope they survive then."  They clinked bottles and got back to it.  "I see you imported other things," he said with a glance back in their bedroom.

Roque shrugged.  "Mom.  She reminded me our anniversary is soon."  He took another drink.  "I pointed out you're not the hearts, flowers, and dinner out sort for those things."

"Not really," Clay agreed.  "Maybe a firefight since it'll be during the invasion in LA?"

"The week before actually but yeah, I can see that battle being a decent anniversary present."  Roque smirked.  Clay had always read his moods very well.  When they got finished he hauled Clay up and inside to show him where everything was.  Including shoving him into the enema shower to use it on him.  "We're working on your new dick phobia," Roque taunted as he turned it on.  Clay yelped and it was a good thing.  It'd let them play for a long time tonight.

***

Bia sat up and looked over at her window.  Then she sighed and shook her head.  "Clay and Roque must have fun with as loud as they are."  She laid back down and went back to reading.

Xander looked over from his own reading, magically making some other kinky things appear.  Roque had always needed a good paddling and he was sure Clay was the colonel to give it to him.  He turned the page and went back to his graphic novel.

***

Clay reappeared on Altantis the next morning, handing Jensen one of the bags of beer cans.  He strolled off looking exceptionally smug, handing John the other bag.  "Roque's new temple is all set up and there's one with your name on it too."  He strolled off again.

"I take it you had a good conjugal visit?" John taunted.

Clay smirked.  "Very.  Especially with the nice studded paddle someone gave us.  Roque clearly had some bad ideas."  He went to clean up and shower in his room.  He was still wearing a lot of Roque's sweat on him.  And a bit of cum but that was about normal for them anyway.

John shook his head.  "Smug."  He looked in the bag and took it to his room to hide.  Beer was in *extremely* short supply on Atlantis.  Those Buds were all his.

***

Roque walked into Xander's apartment the next morning.  "Bia, is this yours?" he asked, holding up the broken paddle.

She cackled.  "No, if it was mine I'd be upset that you broke it.  Since it looks like you had a good night with it, I think it's all yours."  She patted him on the arm and held up a plate.  "Muffin?"

"No cutesy pet names," Xander complained as he came out.  Roque held up the paddle.  Xander grinned and hugged him.  "I'm glad your kinky thing with your mate is so much fun.  You didn't have to brag by showing us though.  We would've noticed when you couldn't sit."  He took a muffin and walked out to go warm up.  "Later, Bia."

"Have fun doing soldier stuff, Xander."  She smiled at Roque.  "Did you have fun trying out all the new kinky stuff you two bought?"

"We didn't buy it," he said dryly.

"Oooh, did you steal?" she demanded, staring him down.  "You know that's not right."

He growled.  "We didn't include this in our temple.  It just showed up for us."

"Maybe it was your mother then."  She smiled.

"I wouldn't put it past her," he complained, sitting down to get some breakfast before going to help Xander break in the new equipment.  He heard her cackling as he walked off and he knew who had put it in there now.  He smacked his former fiancee hard on the back of the head, making him yelp.  "You deserve it, suck it up," he smirked.

"You're taken, we can't do that anymore," Xander said dryly.  He dove at the rope swing and used it to get away from Roque.

"Won't save you," Roque reminded him.  "And you're taken too now."

"Bia wants me to import a harem of fun for us."  He beamed and flashed out to do this in godly style instead of normal soldier methods.  Roque smirked and followed.  They both needed their powers exercised, especially since they didn't really admit that they had any.

Bia watched from the front porch, sipping her coffee and shaking her head.  "Boys," she said dryly.  It was good to watch Xander and Roque play.  They were cute like that too.  Back when they had almost been married, a lot of young goddesses had wet panties over those two playing or sparring with each other.  Roque managed to hit Xander, making her wince and hiss but Xander snickered and created a staff to knock him into the shallow water underneath the pillars they were standing on.  Her first full week as a new wife was turning out to be okay.

***

Xander appeared later that night, smiling at the tiny thing that had called him.  "What's wrong?" he asked her.  She blinked at him.  "I know you're a future slayer and one of mine automatically because of who your mommy and daddy are," he teased, tickling her belly.  "But that's no reason to yell for me when you have a dirty diaper, dear.  You have people to take care of that because your daddy is great like that."  He tickled her, making her laugh.  "Good girl."

"Who are you and what are you doing in here!" a male voice shouted.

Xander looked at him.  "I'm her godfather, dude, and wake the whole house, I dare you."  He went back to teasing her.  Some woman huffed in and he glared at her.  "Back down."  She flinched back.  He looked at her again.  "I can see why you called me.  It's really odd and I'll have to read her to make sure she's not the sort of half-demon that would hurt a baby slayer.  Yes I will."  She cooed.  He grinned.  "You're so adorable.  Just like your mommy is sometimes."  More people ran in.  "She called me."

"Why?" Tony demanded, pushing his way in.  "What's going on?"  Xander pointed at the nanny.  "What about her?"

"Baby slayer senses.  She's got enough to get weird feelings from some people that aren't quite normal."  He looked at her.  "C'mere," he ordered.  She trudged forward and he read her.  Then he nodded.  He looked at the baby.  "She will never hurt you.  She'll vow it to me if she's wise."

"Who're you?" she sneered.

He grinned.  "Alexander."

"The guy that hunts with her mother?" she snorted.

"That too," he and Tony said.  Xander manifested his radiance and the baby cackled, waving her fists at him.  Xander grinned.

She swallowed hard.  "I, um, swear I will not harm Callia Stark upon my life," she murmured.  "I thought the blond one was bad," she complained to her boss.

"He's my uncle."  Xander grinned.  He patted the nanny on the head.  "You'd better never hurt her."  He stared at her.  Then at the security guys.  He grinned.  "I'm also her godfather Xander."  They all groaned.  "But she yelled for me."  He picked her up and handed her to daddy.  Who cuddled her.  "She could use changed," he admitted, smiling at Tony.  "She's really loud too.  She was complaining about a mouse when I showed up.  Woke me up complaining about the mouse and other things."

"Why?" Tony asked.

"What's my title?" Xander asked patiently.

"Protector of mankind?" Tony guessed.

"Which means I'd be over...."

"Oh," he said, nodding.  "It's her future job."

Xander grinned.  "She's not going to be called."  Tony stared at him.  "The line's not that strong in her.  From what I know of slayers and the calling, it looks like she's down the list.  So train in case but don't go stupidly stressed over it."

"That'll work," Tony said with a smile.  He looked at her.  "You really do have a messy butt with that stink.  Maybe I'll make a special helmet so I can change you."  The nanny took her to change.  He looked at Xander.  "Mouse?"  He pointed.  Tony looked then got a familiar looking black cat.  She shrieked and pounced the mouse, killing it.  It tried to change into a human but it wasn't going to make it.  "Huh," he said, looking around.  No Xander.  He took the mouse and shook it.  "Change.  Now," he growled.  It did and he knew that person.  "Why were you in my daughter's room?" he demanded.

"I wanted to check on her!"

"He goes to Fury," Stark said, handing him over.  "He can baby himself in a cell until then."  They nodded.  He picked up the cat.  "Thanks, Sonya.  That was very good to protect Callia for me."  He petted her and walked her over to let the baby coo at her.  The cat huffed.  "Don't worry.  She's too young to crawl after you yet."  He grinned.  Then he put her down.  She huffed off to her old room.  He picked up the baby, who didn't have a diaper on yet.  "You're so great," he whispered in her ear then handed her back.  "Let me go check the rest of the house for mystical mice people.  You have a good sleep, Callia."

The nanny looked at the baby.  "If you had told me there was a problem, I would've handled it.  You didn't have to call the mean one."  The baby yawned and seemed to smile.  "Though I have no idea how your mother met someone like that being.  Even somewhere like Sunnydale."  She put the baby back to bed once she was redressed.  The nanny settled in to read her a story about the good gods, her own ones, so she'd know where she needed to lean toward.

***

Xander looked around LA.  It was the day of the invasion.  People were setting up reasons for people to leave the immediate area.  Xander was watching from on top of a building.  Roque was on another one.  This was an old ritual from before ancient battles.  Staring over the battlefield, making notes of what was going to be in your way.  Xander finished his coffee and dissolved the cup.  Roque was eating breakfast like it wasn't a huge problem coming up.  Xander felt the magic starting and it stopped.  He gritted his teeth.  He hated the lead up spells and needing more power to do it.

Though if they couldn't, he'd like that even more.  No, another prep spell.  Then nothing.  He looked at Roque, who finished his breakfast and coffee, then called his weapons.  Xander got his own sickles and concentrated, feeling the energy.  When he felt the portal snap into being, but still inside, he nodded at Roque.  Roque sent the warning out that it was starting.  Stark appeared within minutes but he was up the coast.  The other Avengers started to assemble.  Faith and Buffy were together.  Buffy shouldn't be here but she felt she had to be since she wasn't pregnant anymore.

Xander felt the portal open.  He flashed down to take out the first demon out of the building.  The others attacked.  SGC forces appeared a minute later and the battle for earth was on.  Xander glanced around.  The LA team was with the two slayers.  Some peaceful ones as well.  He sent that to Roque, who was wearing communication gear.  It'd just distract Xander.  He kept going.  He did not like these demons.  When one bit him he backhanded it and then cut it.  He let himself fall back into warrior mode, calling on his Uncle Tyr to help.  Then on Ares and the other war gods.  It was his right and his duty to do so.  They appeared with their chosen warriors and the battle got a bit more even.

"What sort of fucking moron summons people-eating demons!" Ares complained a minute later, healing a bite.

"They want them to take out humanity for them," Buffy panted, shrugging a bit.  "I guess less people being around would only help them."

"Maybe," he growled.  The battle was hard.  Roque was working on shutting down the portal.  Miri and Rodney got summoned to blow it.  It finally went down and the battle moved to the clean-up phase.  They were all tired, injured, and sore but it had to be done.  By then the regular military was showing up to help.  They didn't look happy either.  Yay!

Roque got the last one before it could bite or use Mari as a hostage, earning a tired sounding cheer.

Xander looked and checked around.  "Great job, people.  We won.  Even if we were nibbled on we won."  That got a louder cheer.

"By order of the United States Government, halt!" one of the military vehicles said over their loud speaker.

Nick Fury stomped over.  "Mother fucker, I'm Nick fucking Fury!  These are my goddman Avengers and I outrank you!"  The vehicle moved back away from him.  "Stark!"

Tony shot out the tires.  "Sorry, running a bit low on power."  He let his face shield go up.  "Did you want do this?"

Xander snickered.  "Of course not.  They're going to blame us for handling things that they didn't want to.  Haven't you seen that before?"  He and Roque stared at their higher Gods of War, who snorted and disappeared.  He and Roque turned all the vehicles into marshmallows.  Xander smiled and waved.  "If Agent Fury doesn't outrank you, I sure as hell do."  He grinned and waved.  "Hi, Alexander, Protector of Humanity."  He and Roque moved everyone but Fury, who got beamed a second later, back to the hellcarrier Fury had.  "Huh, so," he said, looking at the SGC guys.  "How did you like demons?"

"Stupidly strange," Rodney complained, coming to look him over.  "Your brother must be throwing fits."

"Yeah.  But I wanted him there to protect your pretty city for Diama."  He grinned.  "She'd pout if you guys got destroyed before she got to run up and down the halls giving you guys ideas."

Rodney smirked.  "You wanted to protect the city?"

"Yeah.  Because there's wraith heading this way as of what I woke up to this morning."  Rodney growled.  Xander grinned.  "Give it three months."

"Shit!"  He stomped back to Mari.  "Can we get sent home?"

Roque came over to grab them and take them with him.  His consort was up there being impressive and in battles of his own.

Xander grinned at the generals.  "They're about three months away."

"Thanks for letting us know, Harris," General O'Neill said with a salute.  Xander saluted him back and they got sent home.

Fury looked around.  "Everyone, do post battle check-ins.  Do medical because I know you all need it since I do."  He lit up a cigar.  "Then relax and celebrate we won one for the good guys."  They nodded, going to do that.

Xander patted Thor on the arm.  "Want to come visit?"

Thor smiled.  "I have a girlfriend.  I'm sure she will fuss."  He walked off happier.

Xander stretched then winced.  "Ow."  Buffy swatted him.  "Hey!"  He glared at her.

"You didn't tell me you got married before you did it!" she said, swatting him again.

"It was kinda spur of the moment."  He shrugged and hugged her, hugged Faith, hugged Dawn and her kitten when she walked in, and then disappeared to go home and let Bia help him clean up.  "Bia, I need stitches.  The damn things bit me."

"I saw that," she called back.  "Your bath is already up."

"Blessed be, Bia."  He went to soak off the sweat, the bites, and the sore muscles.  She had even put bubbles in there and a lego ship.  That was so cool of her.  He adored his friendly wife type being.

Bia smiled from the couch in their apartment.  Sometimes Xander was still so young and full of energy.  But cute.  Very cute.

***

Fury stood in front of the president, being chewed out.  Fury finally got tired of it and yawned.  "We warned you there was going to be something this week."  The president spluttered and coughed.  "Next time, when we say there's going to be a huge battle in a city, listen!  I never say that shit unless I know it's going to happen."

"Who were those others?"

"What others?"  The pictures, obviously captured from the film of the battle, were held up.  He pointed.  "That's Thor.  He's one of mine.  That's Hercules with him and Tyr right behind him.  Thor and Hercules got a bunch of the demi and full gods to come help."  He pointed at another.  "That's Ares if I'm not mistaken.  Never met him but I know others of his people.  That's Alexander.  He's a weird case but it's actually his job to do all that.  We're all underneath his aegis."  He changed.  "That's the two slayers we presently have.  Behind them is the loudest dressed demon I've ever seen but Buffy told me that the demons helping us were friends of the hunters in LA."  He stared at him.  "The rest were O'Neill's people and the other Avengers."

"We have a demon hunting team in Los Angeles?"

"Yes.  I'm told that their sort are overseen by the Powers That Be and their champion, who is a pouty vampire type, is over that group.  Faith, one of the slayers, tends to stay with them and handle LA things for me."

The president moaned.  "Gods?" he demanded.

"What did you think Thor was?" Fury shot back, staring at him.  "He's not a delusion.  He sleepwalks and likes to run you over when he's doing it."

The president slumped.  "I want a full briefing."

"Yup, sure."  He walked off.  "Later this week.  When I get everything together.  My people are calming down from a battle and I don't want them to go get into a bar brawl to do that."  He got beamed back to his hell carrier.

The president pressed a button and got his VP's boyfriend.  "Gods?" he demanded.

Loki snorted and smirked.  "Some of us are."  The president glared.  He changed into his normal magnificence.  "What did you think I was?"

"Whatever!  Who were they?"

Loki looked, pointing out who everyone he knew was.  He smiled at the last one.  "That is my son."  He handed over that photo.

The president stared at him.  "Is he like you?"

"He was a demigod before.  Now he's fully broken out and is a full god."  Xander appeared, staring at him.  "He asked."

Xander looked at the president.  "You're not the one that sent Area 51 to try to capture me for illegal testing and baby making, right?"

The president cleared his throat.  "No.  I succeeded him."

"Good."  He grinned.  He looked at his father.  "You needed to brag *that* much?"

"Well, yes.  You did save humanity.  I still wonder where that nasty habit came from, son."

"It had to be you.  That's why I'm guardian over some of the villages."

"Good point."  He considered it.  Then looked at his son.  "Are you sure you want Bia as a wife for a decade?"

"Yes, Father."

"Fine.  I suppose I can like her.  She is very naughty when you two get together to prank Strife."

Xander grinned.  "I talked to a few of us in other realms.  One of them told me about putting Puritans in Valhalla as a prank."  He beamed and disappeared.

Loki considered it.  "That would definitely make things more interesting for a night."  The president cleared his throat.  Loki manifested throat drops and handed them over with a smirk.  "Sounds like you're getting sick."  He strolled off, becoming his usual boyfriendly self that his lover was used to.

The president thumped his head on his desk.  This was so bad.  The other world leaders were going to pick on him about this again.  He hated demons, the avengers, and gods.  He was never going to a church again if this kept up.

Notes:  Spoilers for _The Avengers_ movie in a big way.  Also, a slight fix it.  Also, changed the timeline a bit.  Loki's free, Hawkeye's free of the mind control.  The whole Black Widow/Hawkeye thing went a bit sideways and he wouldn't remember that it was Xander who fought him, called by Thor, or that it was Dawn that was helping him as he woke up at first.  Also, be aware that while I mostly use movie cannon, now and then I do end up using something that happened in comic book cannon that I've been reading up on.

11: Tiny Old Ones

Willow fixes something that's making Tara cry but it creates hell for an Old One and a few others. Spoilers for _The Avengers_ movie in a big way.  Also, a slight fix it.

Willow heard her ex sobbing and knew why.  Tara only sobbed that way over a few things.  Since she probably wasn't having to kill and eat a chicken again and she wasn't having her period by the date she calculated - so therefore not crying over the commercials for the ASPCA and Teleflora - it had to be that someone she liked had died.  Willow searched around.  "The scary one," she said, looking at her hands.  The magic reducing drugs they had her on were evil but she couldn't take Tara sobbing that way.  She just couldn't.  Even after going all evil and scary she still loved Tara.  So she'd have to do something about it.  She gathered her strength and concentrated.  They had only left her alive so she could turn a certain cat back....but maybe he'd do it for her.  Willow had to wait until the evil influence left the ship so he wouldn't get in her way.  She did not want to tangle with that, at the moment.

***

Willow looked at the body on the metal table and frowned.  "You made my Tara cry and that's not allowed, Mister," she said quietly.  She held a hand over his chest, getting the bullet out.  She felt the alarms starting and hurried up the spell.  She was weak but he gasped and sat up moving the sheet off him.  "You can't make Tara cry."

He stared at her.  "That's your job, isn't it," he said bitterly.

"I never meant to make her cry but she was sobbing over you.  So you can be all scary and protective like...."  She had to stop because he had batted her on the head in just the right spot to knock her out.

"I think protecting her from you is the first job of SHIELD some days, Rosenburg."  He checked, he was still dressed.  It was clear where he was, which was creeping him out slightly.  He checked, the wound on his chest was healing.  So was his back.  He found his bag of possessions on the end of the sliding table and swung around to dig into them, putting in his earbud.  "Director Fury, may I see you in the morgue for a moment?  I just sedated Rosenburg physically again."  He hung up.

***

Up in the command center Fury took out his earpiece and looked at it.  "What the fuck!" he shouted.  Agent Hill flinched and shrugged.  "Is she not in her goddamn cell?"

"No, sir," she said after a quick check.

"Great!"  He walked off that way.  "Someone call Xander and see if he can make sure she didn't botch it.  If not him, then get Tara.  That way the girl quits crying on the junior agents."  He stomped into the elevator and stabbed the button.  By the time he got into the morgue, Coulson had changed his shirt so it wasn't bloody, cleaned up the blood still on his chest, and managed to look impeccably calm.  "How in the hell?"

"She muttered something about the trade-off was reasonable."  He grimaced slightly.  "I had no idea, sir."

"I know you didn't and they'll be happy to have you back."  He looked him over.  Tara came charging in.  "Whoa," Fury said, getting out of her way.

She cast a spell on her buddy and then caught a hiccup before launching into his arms to hug him.  "You're okay."

"I guess I am."  He patted her gently on the back.  "What did she do?"

She sniffled, looking up at him.  "She robbed Peter to pay Paul.  One of the others is going to have a power backlash," she said quietly.  "I don't know who but I can guess."

"Sir, find Alexander to make sure he's all right?" he suggested.

"Already called for him."  He tapped his earpiece.  "Agent Hill, is there any sign of Alexander yet?"  He grimaced.  "What did his consort say?"  He winced.  "Great!  Found out why.  Call her in and Thor if we can find out where he landed and is alive."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Let's go."  He got the guards to take Rosenburg back to her cell.  "See if she can turn Natasha back from a cat yet.  I'm tired of letting her lounge in our jail."  He stomped off.

Phil Coulson looked at Tara.  "Any other side effects?"

She shrugged.  "I can't tell.  She's stronger than I am," she said quietly.

"Then we'll figure it out I guess."  He walked off.  He found Dawn with her cat and patted her on the head.  He felt the spell hit and hmmed when she turned back from a cat into a woman.  "Interesting."

She blinked at him.  "How are you alive?" she asked calmly.

"Willow," Tara said quietly.  "Dawn, find Xander.  She bounced it off him."  Dawn winced and nodded, walking off calling him mentally and on the phone.  Natasha went to medical to help her friend.  She had her old earpiece and what she was hearing was very bad.  Something she needed to help with.

***

Xander looked at the man that was sneering down at him.  "My father does that *so* much better," he sneered back.  "Hell, the slayers do that better."

"You are but a pipsqueak."

"Presently but that also means you've already underestimated me."  The other Loki laughed.  Xander smirked and summoned something, taking a wild swing with it.  Loki yelped and moved off but Xander followed.  "I may be tiny at the moment but I'm still the Protector of Humanity."  He threw a lightening bolt at him and then started to rain more punishment on his not-father.  Loki was fighting back and it was getting nasty.  Then the machine lit up.

Loki cackled.  "No one can stop me now!  Not even you!"

Xander looked then formed a spear of power and threw it at Loki, knocking him off the building to the lower level of the penthouse's porch.  He could feel the heros flying in, they were still his people.  "I'm not the Goddess of Engineers.  She can do it herself."  Diama was about toddler age but was staring at the machine in awe.  "Diama, it's a bad machine.  It's calling bad things to kill everyone," he yelled, moving to defend the tower.

She scowled and patted it, frowning when the shield bit her.  "Bad thing!"  She disappeared with a squeak and a point.  "Bad thing!" she told Strife with a point.  "Bad, bad thing!  Xander and bad thing!"

"I know, but you can't be there," he said impatiently, handing her to Cupid.  "Let me go help Xander."

"No, let *me* go help Xander," Ares said.  "I'm not sure if that other Loki's powers will counter yours and create more problems."

"I say we're staying here," Zeus ordered.

Hera stared at him.  "You are not my husband."  He gasped then cackled.  She destroyed the throne he was on, kicking it into a void.  "Ares, go help Alexander."

"Going."  He disappeared, going to find Xander.  He found him fighting.  "You are not old enough for that."

"Fucking yay," he growled, moving forward again.  Ares got the ones trying to take down the godling.  Xander let loose some power and it was an atrocious wreck for the flying things.  Ares helped.  They could work on keeping things where the heros could handle it.  Ares called some of his warriors to become NYPD people and help.  They couldn't just *appear* and be warriors.  No one would trust them.

Xander yawned and patted him on the arm.  "They're shooting bad idiots."

Ares watched the flying things.  They were shooting warriors from the sides.  "That's a stupid design," he decided, sneering at it.  He ended one.  He fought against whoever was trying to summon him.  "I swear it's your relatives."

"Go beat them for me please?" Xander asked quietly, throwing another power bolt.  He narrowly missed Iron Man but shrugged at the look in his direction.  "I was aiming for the same spot," he called.

"Go home."

"Shut up.  It's still my damn job."  The fake Loki showed back up and he went to battle him.  He knew many ways of wearing down a chaos god.  He had even managed to make his father stomp off and cry a few times.  This one wasn't expecting him so it was all good.  Plus it was a really great way to wear out bad moods.

***

Ares appeared in the middle of the fuming Valhallans.  "What did you expect him to do?" he demanded.  He blasted a few people.  "They're not of you."  Tyr tried to hit him so he tested him.  Then he showed him the dead one's powers.  "Not of our realm," he said slowly and clearly.  Sometimes he thought this whole pantheon was dumber than his half-brother Hercules.  Some days their combined IQ wasn't as high as a troll's.  "Now, we're in the middle of a battle."  He disappeared.

Tyr followed and stared, pointing.  "What be that!" he demanded.

"Duh!" Xander shouted.  "Hit a flying mechanical whale!  They're trying to destroy everyone!"

Tyr looked and started to blast at them.  It wasn't doing much good.  "I know not why it doesn't work!"

Xander huffed.  "They're close to our realm.  Not perfectly of it but close."  He concentrated and felt.  Then he sent out a zapping pulse that nearly killed him but it killed a few of the whale things.  Ares glared at him and did the same thing.  "Recalibrate it to be about fifteen degrees south of our normal range."  Ares nodded and did that.  Tyr did the same.  It helped contain and beat the extras that the heros weren't getting.  Xander went back to working against the chaos magic.  The building shook as something hit it.  It knocked the doctor down.  Xander kept an eye on the machine.  He couldn't end it and Diama couldn't tell him how either.  She needed more experience with machines.  He'd have to send her to Rodney.

***

Xander looked over the end of the battle, sighing in relief.  The calling in his blood was ended and it was nicer.  Ares and Tyr were both glaring at him.  "Not like the duty ended when I shrank."  He disappeared, going to hide from everyone.  He was exhausted.  He ached.  He wasn't going to go to his home temple, Bia would call someone to help his injuries and he couldn't risk it.  So he'd help himself and find a nice spot to nap.  A quiet, out of the way, hidden spot.  One that not even Dawn could find.  He found a few that had things in them, instead he found a smaller one that whoever had done that couldn't get into either.  Then he crawled inside and took a nap.

***

Ares went to test all his people.  A few looked sickened by the portal closing.  He got them first.  Apollo looked sick for other reasons.  "Mirroring morning sickness?" he quipped.  His mother was tainted by that other Odin's power signature.  Great.  He got them all quarantined and let the other two kingdom's rulers in to help with their needed detoxes.  Hades did it to some of the dead shades that showed up with extra powers still going strong.

Ares flopped down and told the others what had been going on.  That other Loki was going to be held for trial in the present Valhalla once Thor let everyone back in.  Xander wasn't really injured but he was worn out and hiding with the last bit of his energy.  The rest of the world was safe again, for now.  He also assigned Hecate to go chew on Rosenburg and not to touch the one she had resurrected.

***

Xander blinked awake when he felt the power show up.  He summoned Coulson to somewhere safer.  Bia would protect him.  Then he fell back asleep.

***

Dawn looked at the empty spot then around.  Everyone was staring at her.  "Xander moved him."  They all relaxed.  "Hecate's here."

Fury walked off to go ask her if she could find a reason he had to keep Rosenburg around.  Even waiting that week was making his insides clench in ways that usually made him grab weapons.

Dawn got her salad and sat down, looking at Pepper.  "Injured?"

"Very."  She ate a bite of her frozen yogurt.  "I hate sitting at home waiting."

"So don't," Dawn said with a shrug.  "Take self defense lessons, find a way to join the fight as a backup."  She ate a bite of salad.  "Tara and I were sure helping."

"I saw and I'm very proud.  Though I ignored six calls from your mother."

"So did I."  They shared a smile and went back to their dinners.  Dawn's phone rang so she looked at it.  "It's a text from Buffy."  She read it and snickered.  "She gave me the speech she gave to Xander about not being a slayer and being normal so therefore not fit to fight in real battles."

Pepper took it to write one back.  Then she turned off the phone.  "Let your mother beat that out of her."  They let Bruce Banner sit with them.  "Doctor Banner, were you introduced to my assistant Dawn Summers?  Her sister's the senior slayer and she's becoming a super assistant underneath me."

"Pleasure," he said, shaking her hand with a smile.  "I saw you moving some of the civilians."

"I did what I could to shield them as we moved them too."  She smiled at Tara, who came in to join them for some dinner.  "Hecate nagging?"

Tara huffed.  "Yes!"

"Nagging Xander for not killing her?" Dawn guessed, eating a bite.

"For still being a God at his age.  For being deaged, even though it was Willow."

Dawn and she shared a look then they sent up a prayer/spell that would make Hecate see the truth for a bit instead of rose colored Rosenburg-friendly glasses.

"I felt that!" a female voice screeched.

"Good!" Dawn shouted back.  Hecate stomped in and Dawn stared at her.  "Xander didn't give her permission this time either!"  Hecate backed off.  "So back down!"  Hecate huffed but disappeared.

"Dawn, you're glowing mucus green," Pepper said then stuffed her mouth.

She pulled it back in.  "Sorry, it's been a long day," she said more calmly and quietly.  "Let me finish dinner and then go sort papers.  That's very calming at times."  She finished up and went to do that.

"She's one of us?" Bruce asked quietly.

"No," Pepper said.  "She's just.... she had contact with a specific magical artifact.  Now and then it just makes her glow like nuclear mucus.  She doesn't want to use it but it's easily hidden by her temper."  She looked at Tara.  "Buffy wrote a text message."

"In real english or in Buffy-lish?" Tara asked.

"Real english.  Dawn said it was the same rant she used to give to Xander."

Tara huffed.  "Those of us with sense need to ship the others off to a tiny island somewhere harmless so they can't upset anyone."  She stuffed her mouth.

"I say we ship them to the Middle East and let them remake it in their image.  It'd be better then," Pepper quipped with a smile.  "Can't you see Buffy turning Iran into her country?"

Tara's fork hit the plate and she checked Pepper's forehead.  "Are you sick?  Did one of those things infect you?"

"I'm fine.  I caught the mean feeling."

"Clearly you need more than frozen yogurt."  She got up and got a candy bar from one of the agents.  "Here, you need that more before you actually send Buffy to take over Iran and make it her country."

The agent stared at her then shuddered.  "I met the senior slayer.  She needs it more.  I'll get another candy bar."  He went to report that mean streak in case it was the start of another attack.  Then he could get a second candy bar.  Pepper Potts clearly needed it worse than he ever would.

Tony Stark limped in and looked at her.  "We'd have to send her to Saudi.  She's a princess.  They understand princesses there and she doesn't drive anyway."  He got something to eat and walked off.

Agents followed Stark and came in to get the people at the table to quarantine them.  Just in case.  Doctor Banner got released after a brain scan to make sure he wasn't infected.

***

Clint Barton was hiding from people again.  Up in the rafters watching people.  He knew Fury wanted to know where Coulson was.  Which meant finding Xander and asking him.  Xander was missing.  No one could find him.  Not even his uncle.  Of course, Barton found a tiny air duct that snored so he had a pretty good idea.  Apparently the kid was exhausted.  He was still sleeping a few days after the battle.  There was a plate of food outside the air duct.  So whenever the kid woke up he could eat something before Fury yelled at him.

He glanced back when the snoring stopped.  Of course it started a nightmare.  "Great," he muttered, reaching in to shake the kid.  It got him bitten.  He winced and waved his sore hand.  At least the kid hadn't drawn blood.  He had no idea what he was doing.  Natasha wouldn't.  Stark really wouldn't.  Banner probably didn't understand kids at all.  So that left....Pepper maybe?  But the kid was hiding from her assistant too.  He ate a twinkie and considered who he could nag to come help the kid.  Probably the only one who could would be Coulson.  Or Thor.  Thor couldn't fit into this air shaft though.

Stark walked over and sat down, glancing in there.  "He's good at hiding."  He looked at Barton.  "Fury wants a report.  I'll watch out for him."

"He's having a nightmare.  He bit me."

"Doesn't shock me any."  He pointed.  "Go do your report."  Barton gave him a dirty look.  Stark tossed a candy bar into the hiding spot.  They heard it be unwrapped.  "Dawn said she wants to cuddle you."

"Fuck off," was muttered then the sound of eating.  "I'll go hide better later."

"Sure," Tony agreed.  "Fury wants you too."

"He can suck me too."

Barton looked in there then at Stark.  "Should he know that language?"

"Not like the old knowledge left," Xander said dryly, sticking his head out.  "Thanks for the breakfast."

"It's been three days."

"Cool."  He pulled back in to eat then they were blinded by a tiny flash of light.

Stark looked then nodded.  "He teleported."

"I want that skill."  He did his report and sent it over the wi-fi on the hellcarrier.  Below them a terminal blinked a new email message sign.  They left to find their own things to do.

***

Fury looked at Bia when she finally appeared.  "Do you have my agent?"

"I've instituted healing methods for him."

"Why do you talk differently to Thor?" he asked.

"Because his people are uptight and we're not?"  She shrugged.  "If you don't use their way of talking they ignore you.  Even if it's important.  John did that once about a battle and Odin totally ignored him even when they were breaking in the doors of the drinking hall."  Fury rolled his eye and shook his head.  "Anyway, he'll be fine.  Rosenburg's still tied to him and I'm working on closing it.  Not my best skill; I'd ask Hecate but somehow she's got blinders about her."  She shrugged.  "Give him two weeks."  She disappeared.

"I wanted to see how the kid was," he called.

"Hiding," she called back.

"Great."  Fury had the hell carrier scanned.  He found Stark making energy weapons and turned off the power in the lab before he blew it up.  He found Romanoff in the workout area with Xander's new Klingon weapon.  He found Dawn, she was glowing and sneezing.  He sent a message to Stark to have her quarantined before she blew something up by sneezing.  He found Rogers in the gym with Romanoff.  He was boxing a punching bag again.

Banner was asleep on the table in his lab.  It took two tries to find Barton and he was in one of his hidden spots in the ceiling.  Again.  He sent his phone an IM about how his report needed to be proofread and to find the kid.  He got a short one back saying it was sent and done.  And that the kid had teleported off.  "Fine," he muttered, sending one back to correct the report, it was sloppy, and to let him know if the kid showed back up.  He put his phone away and went back to making plans.  The Council hated him more than life itself right now.  Maybe he'd send some friendly encouragement.

***

Xander appeared in front of Phil when he finally got sent back.  "I can fix it."

"Fix what?" he asked.

"Fix the anchoring thing that's going to drag you back some day.  It's why you're dreaming about it."  Coulson almost shrugged.  "C'mon.  We need to sit somewhere not messy because it'll take a few drops of blood."

"Blood?  Really?"

"Really."  He hauled on his arm until he followed.  They found an unused office and he sat down, pointing in front of him.  "There's three people that could need to release you.  I've asked all three and they said they didn't have you.  One's Magrid and has a crush though so I'm pretty sure they're all lying.  Therefore we're going to have to do this the official way."  He manifested a knife.

"Why blood?  And it's only been six days."

"I know that."  He grinned.  "It gets you around all that.  It's like adoption."  He slit his hand and forearm then took Coulson's arm to do the same to it.  Then he chanted the quiet spell.  He joined them in a warrior's grip.  "You're now part of my house."  The places where their bloods joined glowed blue.  "You'll make a fine Defender of Mankind, Phil.  Just like a brother of mine would."

Loki, theirs, appeared.  "Shouldn't you ask before you add to the family, son?"  Xander zapped him and he had to leave.  "Dear Goddess," he muttered, stomping off to tell his brother.  "You have a new nephew."

"I'm glad Xander thought that much of Son of Coul.  He is a good man, a just man.  He will make an excellent addition to the family," Thor said officially.  A gong sounded and he smiled.  "I'm glad it worked.  It will make sure he doesn't slip away again."  He walked off.  "They will confuse you."

"I'm not that evil minded," he said dryly.  He went to talk to his daughter-in-law, who shooed him off because she was *busy*.  He'd try later when all the batteries were worn out.

***

Back in the office, Xander smiled at Phil.  "Like John, you're considered a demi without any special powers or perks.  It just means that you're anchored to this reality.  You can't leave it easily.  You're welcome at the temple whenever you want."  He patted his clasped hand.  "You're now like my brother and no one will ever break that bond.  Not even the blight of Rosenburg."  The door opened and he waved.  "Fixing things."  He grinned at Phil.  "Let me go find something sweet to have for dinner."

"You need a better diet," Coulson said.

"Yeah but I'm six.  If I'm eating healthy stuff there's something wrong with me."  He grinned.  "Can't kill me."

"What if they try to take your powers?" Phil asked.

"Can't.  My powers don't come from any of my natal families.  Or anything near it."  Coulson gaped in horror.  "When I broke out, I broke out in some of the Asian pantheons' types of powers.  I had a duty and title with them because of helping them in the past with battles and emergencies.  Frankly, I don't actually have a *Title* in Valhalla.  I have a duty but not a title.  With Mom's I have the same thing.  None of my natal family can do anything and it'd take all the gods working together to bind me.  Over forty in all from all the pantheons.  They can't even agree what to have for dinner so I'm guessing it's pretty minor of a worry.  And if not, then I'm still a demigod.  They can't take that from me."  He grinned. "It's also guaranteed that when I hit maturity at sixteen then I'll rebreak out."

Hades appeared, looking at him.  "Fine.  I'll release his hold in my realm.  Even though I could've found a very cushy job for him with the judges council."  He sighed and disappeared.  "Xander, quit stressing.  If they try that I'm going to kill them all.  You're saving me work."

"Thank you, Hades."  He looked at Coulson.  "Magrid?" he called.  She appeared and he pointed.

She pouted.  "We wanted him among the warriors.  He'd treat us female warriors well and less like wenches.  He would start a new group of them that would protect us all too when the time came."  She glared at him.  "Why are you so young?"

"I was the one that Rosenburg used to bring him back.  If she had asked I would've done it for her."

She winced.  "Freya is bitching about that but Alana told her she had not the whole story."  She disappeared to report that.

Xander looked up.  "Auntie Hel?"

She appeared in a flash of light and huffed.  "Fine.  Even though I would have set him up in a nice job and let my daughters fight over him."  She disappeared looking slumped.

Xander looked at him.  "Welcome to the family."  He let his hand go and the wounds were healed.

Coulson was feeling more like his usual self.  He was staring at the kid.  "I don't want you to get into trouble for me."

"Bite me, Phil.  You're one of the few assholes on this boat I can stand."  He stood up.  "I may have to help some of the jackasses protect people but that doesn't mean I like some of them.  Especially some of your fellow agents."  He disappeared.

Coulson stood up, brushing his suit off.  "Which agent picked on him?"

"There's been a few," the junior agent admitted, looking scared.  "Does that mean you're like Thor?"

"Powerless and not immortal."

"That's fine.  Fury's looking for Barton."

"He can't scan the rafters again?"  He walked off to find his former charge.  Barton looked at the drips of blood on his hand.  "Xander."

"Are you okay?"

"Better.  He's a bit exhausted I think.  Fury's looking for you."

"Yay."

"Now."  Barton huffed but followed him down to talk to the boss.

Fury looked at him.  "The kid all right?"

"Tired looking.  Said he hates half of us because some of us picked on him, sir."

Fury winced.  "That's not good.  We'll have to stop that before John steps in."

"Sir, with all due respect, John's just a figurehead.  The kid's never stopped doing his duty."  He walked off to find Xander and see what he was working on so they could help him.  Bia hadn't known.  She was busy setting Xander's new temple up.

"What did you think of the kid?" Fury asked his sniper.

Hawkeye shrugged.  "He's really pissed off."

"I'd be pissed off too.  Anything else?"

"He's not sleeping.  He was having nightmares.  When he did sleep for two days, it was uninterrupted until Stark got up there."

"Great.  Any other news?"

"He'll have to go back through school.   A few of the agents are picking on him and Dawn.  I don't know why about her except I keep hearing artifacts mentioned."

"She got exposed to one.  It's why a hell goddess wanted to sacrifice her."

"Do they do anything normally?"

"No."  He smirked.  "Their town is now shut down but there's another one starting to grow.  We might have to send you there for a bit.  It's all staking and shooting crossbows at the vampires or beheading demons.  Romanoff will adore that."

"Not likely.  She hates vampires, sir."

"Whatever.  Plan for Cleveland in the near future."

Barton nodded.  "If I must."  He walked off thinking about it.  He decided to do a bit of hacking to see what he could find about Dawn.  He ran into Stark Industries security protocols.  He expected that since she was Pepper's assistant.  He tried a side-path through their HR department, which was the least secure.  It listed her mother being in the hospital.  That explained why she was Pepper's assistant.  It also had a tiny mention of a file in another government database.  That one was easier found.  He read it over, scowling.  "What the hell?" he muttered.  He took it to Stark.  She was his personnel.  That file was very bad by what he could decipher of the science.  "Did you see this?"

Stark looked.  "That's new things in her old one.  Why were you looking at Dawn?  Pepper will kick your ass if you hit on her."

"She's much too young but some of the agents are cracking jokes."

Tony glared at the doorway and got him into a different file.  "There's every chance someone's going to have to rescue her or watch her when something comes for her again.  It has in the past."  He looked into that new file then called someone.  "Pepper, warn her that the Initiative restarted and they're in Georgia of all places.  Also, it appears her guard is one of them.  Get her to somewhere safer and limit their access."  He hung up.

Barton called Coulson.  "What's an Initiative?"  He listened to the hateful program's description.  If Coulson used language like that it was something like Nazis.  Actually with the way he was describing them, Coulson used nicer language about a renewed Nazi cult they had taken down.  "Looking at Dawn."  He hung up on the vile swearing.  "He's not happy."

"I'm not happy."  He shut both files.  "Bia!"  She appeared, blinking at him.  "Tell your consort that the Initiative restarted.  It's in Georgia and going after Dawn."

"I have the feeling he knows.  He's somewhere near Atlanta."

"He's not old enough," Stark complained.

"Have you ever been able to tell someone that stubborn not to do anything?  I'm only his consort."

"Can you tell Roque?"

"No, he and his mate are off fighting wraith before they come home."

"Damn it!"

"I can tell the other demi's.  See if they can help."  Stark nodded so she went to talk to them at the usual hang-out bar.  "Kyra."

"Bia?"

"The Initiative restarted and I think Xander's going to try to take them down."

"Sounds like him."

"Rosenburg got him deaged to six."

"Again, sounds like him," she sighed.  "Where?"

"Georgia."

"I'll go have a look.  I was headed to Miami for some time on the beach anyway."  She paid her bar bill and went back to her hotel room to book a flight.  She made it about halfway before someone snatched her off the street and sedated her before she could fight back.

Bia felt it happen and looked around.  No other fighters.  She didn't want to do it.  "Roque!" she bellowed.  He stepped out of a shadow.  "Someone just snatched Kyra off the street.  Xander's fighting the new Initiative weenies in Georgia and I just asked her to help him."

"So you think he's captured?"

"He's six."

Roque grimaced.  "Heard that from John.  Let me look after we finish this battle."  He disappeared.  He sent that at John, who broke out in cheerful swearing.

***

Roque appeared to Fury later that night with a file.  "They're capturing demigods this time to get their own base of heros to create from."  He tossed the file on the desk.

"Are they down?"

"I can't do it on my own.  No shadows at all."

"Harris?"

"Not looking too great but he's in that cackling evilly stage of the torture."  Fury shuddered.  He'd been there once.  He had destroyed everyone between him and the door.  "We might be missing a state soon."

"Shit."  He called people to go help Roque.  While they were gathering the President called to tell him to stop it.  Fury hung up on him.  "The president said they're fine."

"Bet me," he muttered.  "Loki," he summoned.  Theirs appeared looking upset.  "Your son is being tortured and the president just said it's a fine idea."

"I heard," he sneered.  "That will not last long."  He disappeared.  He cast some very nice chaos on the president so his plans all went awry.  Permanently.  By the time he got back to the base, Fury's people were in the air.  The base was a smoking wreck.  He tested.  No son's energy signature.  A few others were trapped so he summoned his brother.  "I believe your nephew did that.  I'm in no means a hero."

Thor looked and stomped down there to help the demigods out.  He was a hero and it was part of his duty to protect the earth.  When agents showed up he glared but they moved to help him, including the medics.  "Loki, ours not the evil one, said that my nephew may have done this."

Coulson looked around and nodded.  "He's still here somewhere."

"I cannot feel him."  Thor looked at him, seeing the glow.  "He adopted you formally instead of the other way."

"He did."  He walked over to some rubble.  It was shaking.  He moved it off the trapped being.  Not Xander.  Natasha but not Xander.  "We were wondering where you were."

"They captured us in Cleveland."

"Found Barton," one called.  "Just knocked senseless."

"Good."  He helped her up and to the medics then went back to looking.  There were a few walls still standing.  Mostly heavily reinforced ones.  He opened the doors, finding most of them had dead people in them.  He found one that didn't and that one was shaking.  "Xander," he called, knocking before opening it.  The person in there had a needle in the kid's throat and it was half drained.  "Give me the god, now," he said politely.

"You'll never need him again," he sneered.  He pressed the rest of the plunger.

Coulson shot him.  He could feel Xander.  "I think it's an acid trip."

Xander blinked at him in that fuzzy way.  "Yes, it is.  And if they think this will make me less pissed off they're very wrong."  He stumbled when he tried to get up.

"Let me get you back to our medics.  We can work some of this out of your system," he said calmly.

"No, I need to get away from people.  I'm going to have a power explosion soon."  He was shaking.  "I really need to get away from here."  He flashed out.  He made it to Pegasus and a blank world that had wraith.  No humans but wraith.  He had picked this one just for that benefit and let loose his power.

***

John looked up, staring at the gateway.  "Something's happened to Xander.  At least he's not passing out at my feet this time."  Rodney came rushing in with one of his computers, dialing a gateway.  "It's Xander, McKay."

"It's radioactive.  He just set off a bomb.  It'll draw the wraith there."

"That's a wraith-held world anyway," John said.  "Give him ten minutes then we'll go retrieve him.  That way he's less glowy."

Mari came rushing in.  "Mom said Xander was drugged.  He just compressively let go of his powers.  He has more than two pantheon's now."  She dialed the gate and hurried over.  "Xander, it's Mari," she called.  "Come on, let's get you to some safety."  She got blown back through the gate with the next one.  "Shit, he was drugged.  John!"

He helped her up and stepped through, staring around.  "Xander!"  He felt the gathering powers and followed it, shielding against the explosions.  "At least you're not on earth," he complained.  He found him shivering, sitting in a depression in the ground, arms around his knees, shaking badly, not able to see or hear anything.  "That's it."  He knocked him out.  That was standard procedure for a god going postal.  The final release of the powers was longer and harder.  John was getting a tan from it.  Xander was glowing.  "Xander!" he snapped again.  Xander whimpered.  "Fuck.  Don't burn yourself out."  He clicked his radio.  "Mari, shoot me a limiter!"  One came flying their way with Jensen.  "Out, Jensen.  Someone drugged him."

"I'm pretty impervious in this form," he said, changing to his smaller dragon form.  Xander clutched him and shook.  John put on the limiter.  It focused where the power was going.  "Damn."

"Xander," John said, trying to wake him back up.  Clearly knocking him out was not going to work.  "C'mon, baby brother."  It was still going and Xander was now white light mostly.  "That's his elemental form," he muttered.  "Jensen, back to base."

"We can't leave him here."

"I'm not leaving him.  Go back to base."  Roque came jogging over.  "What the hell happened?"

"The Initiative fuckers restarted.  I was going to check up on them tonight."  John growled.  He slapped something on Xander.  "That worked in the sixties when one of the other demis got him high on PCP and blotter."  It wasn't helping this time.  He was in power decay.  He was radiating too much.  "Go, John."

"Hell no!  Jensen, that's an order."  Jensen flew off.

"Thanks for watching out for my geek.  He's an annoying brat but helpful at times."  Apollo appeared at his summoning.  "Someone drugged him."

"You sure he didn't do it himself this time?" he demanded.  Roque glared at him.  "Fine, whatever."  He checked and blocked the power feed.  Xander went limp and quit glowing.  Apollo looked him over.  "Why does he have cuts?"

"Because someone was torturing his ass," Roque said bluntly.  "But I'm sure you think he did that to himself too?"

"He changed himself," Apollo told him.

"Wrong," John said.  "Rosenburg did it."  Apollo gaped then checked and fixed it and the drugs in his system.  Xander was laying there shivering, his actual age.  Maybe a bit younger still but he looked legal at least.  John squatted down.  "Xander?" he asked quietly.  Xander flinched away from him.  "Hey, it's me.  It's John, Roque, and Apollo's here."  Xander mumbled something.  "What?"  Xander mumbled it again.  "No, they can't get you here.  You're in Pegasus."  Xander passed out.  "Roque, go find out what happened to my baby brother.  I'm a bit pissed off and I need to know who I'm taking it out on."

Roque faded into the shadows, going to find someone at SHIELD.  They probably knew.  Fury was in his office.  "John wants to know who he gets to destroy."

"Xander already did."

"He's got marks from torture."

"Really?  We knew that when he blew up half a county to get away from the Initiative people, Roque."  He stared at him.  Roque was growling.  "He good?"

"No.  He nearly died.  What did they give him?"

"The plane doesn't have a toxicology lab.  We'll figure it out later.  Is it important to having him heal?"

"He nearly let all his powers out at once in a way that would have burned every single molecule in his body," John said as he appeared.  "Yes, I'd say it was."  Loki, theirs, appeared and looked scared.  "He's safe for now."

"No he's not.  Apollo had to block his powers.  The others are taking it as a sign that he's dangerous."

"He was drugged," John said bluntly.  "And tortured.  Even if his little kid form had been an illusion I doubt any of us stand up for that."

"I do not."

John growled.  "Let me go talk to them.  Find out what they used."  Loki handed over the needle.  "Roque, right to Peter."  He disappeared, going to where the Elder Gods were meeting.  "Shut the fuck up," he ordered.  They all stared at him.  "Xander was just tortured.  He was still six-years-old.  They drugged him.  It made him explosively release his powers.  By the time Apollo blocked it off, he was starting to burn everything."  A few shuddered.

"He changed himself," Hera said.

"Bullshit.  Rosenburg changed him."  Hecate screamed and attacked him so he punched her.  "I may respect the Goddesses but not you any longer."  He looked at the others.  "I don't know what's wrong with her but damn are the rest of us tired of it."  They all looked less than pleased.

Apollo appeared.  "Looking over Alexander, he was changed down to a child by Rosenburg when she brought someone back to life by siphoning from him.  He's now linked to him and that link alone kept him from burning himself out from the drugs they gave him."

Hera cleared her throat.  "How did that happen?"

"I don't know, Hera.  Who restarted the Initiative and gave them all the demigods?" John asked.  She flinched.  "Was it you?"

"No."

"Then who was it?"  A few were trying to disappear.  "Let me make this *real* clear.  Xander named me his placeholder until he was able to do it full time again."  He sneered at them.  "You'll get him through me."  A few tried to run and he captured them and handed them to Apollo.  One of Doctor Peter Jenning's people, one of the ancient Celtic judges, appeared.  "I want to know who endangered us all."

"As do I.  That is why I am here."  He laid a hand on the trapped ones' heads.  "This one gave them the names."  He checked the rest.  "These are his minions."

John looked at that God then at the judge.  "Are they all right?"

"No.  Mostly they'll heal."  He looked at him.  "Who is that new demigod?"

"Xander adopted to save him."

"Wonderful."  He looked around and pointed at one.  "I can see the taint on you, ma'am.  I know you're not her."  That one tried to run but John shot her in the ankle, making her scream as she fell down crying.  The judge smiled at John.  "Pretty hunting."

"Thank you.  I'm working out my bad mood on the wraith later.  If Xander left any alive."

"Not on that planet.  There's no more life there," Apollo said.  "Down to the germs in the dirt."  Hera slumped, shaking her head.  "He let it all go due to the drugging."  He looked at him.  "Is Xander up before you?"

"Why would he be?  He's done nothing."  He shrugged. "These ones are going before a full panel of the Pantheons."  He took them with him.

John looked at Apollo.  "Go check Mom's people?"

"Gladly."  He went to do that.  He came back grimacing.  "They decided it was a *test* for him to pass."

"Fuck them then.  I've had enough of their shit too."  He turned and walked off.  He flashed home and they all realized Xander had released his powers.  He was not a demigod any longer.  John walked into the infirmary.  "He'll be fine we hope."

"I've already given him something to counteract the drugging," Carolyn Lam said quietly.

John hugged her.  "If he can be fine he will be fine.  Even if he does sleep all the way back to Earth."  She smiled and swatted him, getting free so she could check on the other patients.  John hopped up on the foot of Xander's bed to test him.  He was fully broken out in more powers than he had taints to.  "How did you do that?" he muttered.

***

Thor looked up as Coulson walked up to where he was sulking.  "Any news on my nephew?"

"He's alive, well, and an adult."  He handed over the email.  "John wrote."

"It is good he goes to John when he needs help."  He read it, grimacing.  "How did he do that?"

"No one's sure."

"Then I suppose we will see when he gets back."

"He'll be on the city when it lands in just over a month," Coulson said.

Thor smiled.  "John will properly fuss over him so he's better.  Who has his dog?"

"Bia.  He's just discovered girls."  He walked off.  "Worry less, Thor."

"I shall.  Thank you."  He tucked it into his pocket.  Now he only worried that some day Xander would try to find John up there when he was in danger and not find him because he was back on earth.

***

Dawn flopped down beside Bia on the couch, taking a pint of ice cream.  "Thanks.  It's been a crappy day."

"I understand about those."

"Maybe I need more self defense lessons," she muttered as she ate her first bite of Ben and Jerry's.  "Though my sister will shriek in multiple keys."

Bia gave her a hug.  "It can't be worse than torture."

"No, not quite that bad today.  Just the half of the human population that think having a dick means they get to be jackasses."  She stuffed her mouth again.

"I haven't had too many guy problems.  Then again, my parents wouldn't let me off Olympus."  She shrugged and got her own ice cream.  They flipped on a movie and it was a good girls' night in.

Natasha appeared.  "Dawn, Director Fury would like a word."

"He can suck me."  She ate another bite of ice cream.

"What happened this time?" Natasha asked.  "I know you broke an agent's leg."

"I was being kidnaped.  I was doing good fighting back and then suddenly three neanderthal linebackers wearing MIB suits show up to save the damsel," she said sarcastically.  "They made a joke about me needing to stay in the hell carrier because obviously I'm a danger to myself.  So I politely said thank you for the saving and kicked one in the shin.  I broke him?"  She ate another bite.

"Yes, you did.  Though, Agent Coulson broke his wrist for you."

Dawn smiled.  "I need a man like him when I'm ready for one.  Not him exactly because I figure he's either got a thing for way uptight or way too wild, of which I'm neither.  But a nice, steady, good guy like him some year soon.  If you find one, introduce me?"

"Of course.  Right after I up your self-defense training.  Why were they trying to take you?"

"Wouldn't tell me.  They didn't have anything about them that suggested magic or anything like that.  Of course, my sister said that I should come home because I'm in danger, because I'm such a baby I can't take care of myself, and how it'd be easier for her to watch over me.  That I'm worrying Mom."  She got up.  "I'm getting more ice cream."

"I might need to get more," Bia admitted.  "I think I only had the one pint, Dawn."

Dawn waved a hand.  "Not an issue."

"You did *not* steal that," Bia said, scowling at her.

"No, I pulled from my fridge at home.  It had nine pints for days like this, depending on the severity of the suckiness."  She brought out a pint and handed one to Natasha.  "I figure you've done girl things at least once in your life so sit and commiserate with us."  She stuffed her mouth again.

Natasha called in to make that report while sitting down to eat ice cream.  "They wanted you to get Pepper to do something," she said.

"Great," Dawn said dryly.  "So nothing mystical at all.  That's actually a great thing."  She ate another bite.  "My whole paycheck is going to have to go to groceries.  So Fury let you use the blippy machine or did you use the Stark Enterprises one?"

"Fury sent me via our transport service," Natasha admitted. She held her earpiece.  "Understood."  She looked at Dawn.  "Director Fury said next time to go gentler on them.  They were junior agents in training and still fairly dumb.  Next time don't damage them as much."

"Whatever.  I'm tired of the jokes about being more kidnaped than the Xander with the hair and the hormones."  Both older women stared at her oddly.  She grinned.  "Didn't hear about the Xander convention?"

Bia burst out in giggles.  "I did hear!  Oh, *hormone* Xander!  Got it."  She hugged her.  "You're not more kidnaped than him, Dawn, and I'm sure it'll slow down."

"It's been a sucky day anyway.  The nanny won't let me near Callia.  She's freaky in ways that don't even touch her being a half-demon.  She gives me the wiggins and she never lets me see my niece.  She usually glares when I try."

"She's a half-demon?" Natasha asked.  "One of the peaceful ones?"

"Yeah.  They're meat eaters but not flesh eaters.  She probably eats raw beef most of the time.  I'm a bit worried she's feeding it to the baby."

"She has no teeth," Bia said.

"You can puree steaks too," Dawn reminded her.  "Which is probably not really good for babies either.  Or the stories about her people's wicked and mean gods beating our own."

"No, it's probably not," Bia agreed.  She checked on the baby.  "Yes, she is trying to feed her chopped up raw meat."

Natasha stood up and keyed in the remote for the Stark Enterprises transportation satellite.  She made it to the house and picked up the baby, smiling at it.  "Your aunt is very worried about you."

"Her aunt is a minion," the nanny sneered.

Natasha calmly shot her in the leg.  "We'll see."  Pepper came up the stairs so she handed over the bowl.

"Eww, is that steak?"  She looked at the nanny.  "So fired."  She took the baby back.  "Thank you for saving her."

"Dawn was worried.  She's been kept away from her."

"That's going to end too.  Ice cream?"

"With Xander's consort."

"Remind her she has math homework and we're going over that accounting project online later."  She walked off with the baby.  "We'll find you a great sitter, Callia.  It'll be wonderful and she'll tell you all sorts of silly stories."  She smiled at the baby.  "You're almost sweet enough to make me want one of you until you make a nasty diaper," she cooed.  "Tell her Tony yelled at the agents who picked on her."

"I can do that."  She went back there.  Bia had been scrying so Dawn was pulling out her netbook to get to work.  Natasha smiled.  "After school and work tomorrow we'll go over your hand-to-hand."

"Thank you.  Apparently I need it."  She sighed and looked. "I hate Trig."

"You must graduate," Natasha reminded her.  "Or no one will hire you."  She nodded and got into her homework.  She'd reward herself with the accounting project and another pint of ice cream for dinner.

The two older women shook their heads.  Their lives hadn't been nearly as insane as Dawn's.  Xander's dog, Hellion, came out to join them, hopping up to cuddle up to Dawn's side while she worked.  It knew who petted him the most.

***

Phil Coulson walked into the meeting he had called, staring at the people there.  "We're going to go over a few personnel matters."  One of the agents slumped down.  "Yes, because of earlier.  I did not want to have to correct someone, though I will again."  He pulled the file up.  "For those who are unaware, this is Dawn Summers.  She is Ms. Potts' assistant and aunt to Stark's daughter."  A few winced.  "Yes, that makes her Buffy's sister," he said patiently.

He changed the slide.  "Earlier today she was nearly taken because someone wanted a hold over Ms. Potts.  Some of our agents did the correct thing by saving her, until they decided to act like teenage boys."  He changed the slide.  "Notice the clearance rating that's high enough that even I can't get into her full file.  I'm aware of the reason for that, which you are not, and you will not be.  I will reiterate that Dawn has been in danger in the past, both because of her sister, because of the reason it's classified, and because of Stark."

He changed it again.  "Notice that Miss Summers is rated as an asset to the agency.  She does have skills we use on occasion, including magical gifts.  She also managed to file around Fury for six days so his office was clean without pissing him off more than once a day."  A few looked amazed.  "Also, please notice her age."

He stared at one.  "She is seventeen."  That agent slumped further down in his seat.  "If she picks you for the singular honor of being her first boyfriend I would expect exemplary conduct.  Because her best friend is still Alexander.  She is still being mentored not only by Ms. Potts but also by Agent Romanoff.  She is not some worldly little toy that you pick up in the clubs, even when Ms. Potts lets her go out to clubs she's not.

"I would expect better of this agency's agents than them acting like teenage boys."  He stared around the room.  "Or the next one I have to correct will wish I had been so polite."  He smiled.  "Any questions?"  They shook their heads and fled for their lives.  Phil turned off the laptop in there and strolled out.  He did adore acting like her big brother.  Dawn did need some protection and he really did have to talk to Stark about upping her bodyguard and doing driving lessons for the young lady.  Defensive and regular of course, just in case, and a good weapons seminar as well.  Again, just in case.  Though he knew she'd never show the bad taste her sister did in her dates.

Fury walked past him.  "You done being a big brother?"

"Not hardly, sir.  Dawn's very sweet and innocent.  As is Tara.  They both need protected from some of the leeches we have as junior agents."

Fury smiled.  "I'm pretty sure Tara scared off the last one on her own."

"Really?  I hadn't heard."  He went to check on her.  She was working on a knot in Thor's shoulder.  "Ran into the wall again?"  She jumped and gave him a scared look.  "Did one of the agents bother you?"

She shrugged and ducked her head.  "They were trying to be friendly."

Thor growled.  "I made myself quite plain about his chances at continued drawing of air," he assured him.  "He is now aware that she is not here to help his morale or other duties."

She swatted him on the shoulder.  "He would've taken no or he'd be a toad."

Thor smiled.  "Save it for many bad people in the future, Tara.  For now, let us be real men who can protect those who need it."  She swatted him again but went back to the knot on his shoulder.  "Aye, I hit the wall hard sparring with the Hulk."

Phil nodded.  "That's a good reason.  I broke the wrist of the on that tried to pick on Dawn, Tara.  Let me know if I need to correct someone else."  She blushed and ducked her head.  "Male or female.  I know we have a few predatory women on the hell carrier."  He patted her on the arm.  "Dawn is with Bia and Natasha if you wanted to join them."

"I might," she squeaked.  He smiled and left her to her healing.  She finished up and sent herself there.  Dawn handed over her tub of ice cream.  "Phil heard someone kept hitting on me and Thor had to threaten him."

Dawn hugged her.  "It'll be okay.  Next time I'll threaten them."  She smiled.  Tara rolled her eyes but snuggled in to help her with her math homework.

Back on the base, Phil tracked down the rest of the staff to have the same sort of talk about Tara.  Before things got out of hand.  Including Barton because he had been teasing Tara by flirting with her.  That way they'd have another protective person who understood Tara was shy, danger liked Dawn, and he would kill them all for getting them hurt.  Even if Director Fury was giggling in his office about this set of meetings.

***

Xander blinked awake, finding someone staring down at him.  "Am I floating?" he asked hoarsely.

The nurse nodded.  "You've about swam all over the infirmary."  She helped him stand up and he landed on the floor, holding his head.  "Your brother said it was normal.  Peter was going to find a dog leash."  She helped him back into his bed and checked him over.  "Blood pressure's a bit high."  He yawned and shrugged a bit.  "Doctor Lam will be back on shift in a few hours if you want to rest some more."

"Should," he said through another yawn.  "Thank you.  Sorry about the swimming."

She smiled and patted him on the arm.  "Swimming in midair is pretty unusual but not as freaky as we've seen around here."  He nodded, letting her tuck him in.  He fell asleep and started to float again.  She called John to report that.

***

John walked down to where Clay's team was bunking, finding Roque lounging and having dinner.  "Any idea why Xander's so much more powerful now?"

"Actually, yes," he said with an evil grin.  "Remember being told that our powers are finite, in a box?"

"Yeah."

"Remember being told that sometimes, if the situation was dire enough, we could break the box?"

"No.  I've heard myths of it happening though.  Usually of family and temple defense."

"Exactly."

"So Xander's basically his own personal hellmouth?" Jensen asked.  Roque nodded.  "Wow.  That's going to suck for him drawing problems."

"He'd probably draw them anyway," Roque quipped.  "Boy always did."

"So he's broken over into the cycle of creation's powers," John said, sitting down.  "Can we block it off?"

"If Apollo didn't, probably not.  He had to realize with how much he put out."

"Biologists took samples right before we left," Clay said quietly.  "They said there's nothing.  No trees, no germs, no earth worms.  Nothing.  Any wraith there were killed."

"Maybe some day it'll heal," John sighed, rubbing his face.  "He's swimming around the infirmary."

"He has to burn off the excess energy he can't block off," Roque said simply.  "I did feel a link."

"He worked to finish saving the one that Willow had used his powers to save."

"Fuck," Roque muttered.  "Is she still alive?"

"Probably.  For some reason Hecate adores her."

"Has got to be a spell.  No one likes Rosenburg anymore."

"I'll suggest to someone that they check."  John stood up.  "Clay, if we have a space battle and I'm out there, you're in charge.  Evan Lorne already knows."  He walked off to let them have their team dinner in peace and quiet.  He went back to the infirmary.  Rodney had solved the swimming problem by hooking Xander to a rechargeable station.  He was recharging some batteries at the moment.  "Will that hurt him?"

"No, it's soaking up the energy he was putting out," Rodney said.  "Interestingly enough all the computer glitches in this tower are stopped as well."  They looked at the young man on the bed.  "How?"

"Broke through the personal power barrier."

"Charming I'm sure."

"It's a problem he'll have to handle forever now," John said quietly.  "Thanks, Rodney."

"Welcome."  He left.  The nurses knew when to change out batteries.  John was sitting on the foot of his brother's bed staring at him again.  He seemed to do a lot of that whenever Xander was in the infirmary.  Though Rodney would probably do the same for his sister if she were that ill.

***

Fury and Jack O'Neill met for pie in the midwest somewhere.  Fury got there last and flopped down.  "How are they?"

"Good.  We're keeping Colonel Clay.  They're going back to Army staff but they're mine."

Fury nodded.  "That's fine.  I reserve the right to call them out if we need something huge."

"That's fine.  My people would come anyway."  He grinned.  "You have to get Alexander off the city before she lands.  The president is going to be there and he hates him."

"He hates him more now that he exposed his plans to create his own superhero team by forced breeding of demigods and other heros."  He dug into his pie.  "Blackberry.  Been a while since I had any."  He ate a second bite.  "As for that, tell his brother."

"I have.  We're seeing signs that they'll have a battle as they come back.  They might need him there."

Fury shook his head.  "I'm not sure if he's healed or not.  When they were torturing him, he broke through to some extra powers and then they drugged him."  He ate another bite and looked at him.  "He also somehow adopted Coulson as his family."

"Interesting.  Any other news?"

"Rosenburg's done something to Hecate we think."

"Wonderful," he said sarcastically.  He huffed and dug into his pie.  "We'll see what we can do to help.  That's not really a mundane problem like we deal with."

"I can tell.  Not really my area either.  Though it was nice Coulson had a talk to everyone about not picking on Dawn and Tara."

O'Neill smirked.  "Carter can do that about some of the more delicate scientists on the base."  They ate for a few minutes.   "How's his temple looking?"

"Bia said it's all set up but she's still painting.  They've got training areas I'm sending my green ass people to use."  They shared a smirk.  "Roque said it's very mean.  He's got a house there too."

"Sheppard probably does too then."  He finished his pie and sipped his coffee.  "We're planning on landing the city."

"Do you need someone like Stark to stand by in case it causes problems?"

"Please.  If it's not exact it could easily create a wave."

"Got it.  We can do that."  He tapped out a message to his assistant.  "Agent Hill will pass that on."

O'Neill smiled.  "The president wants to shut my people down."

"He's downright pissed off at mine for doing what they needed to do.  Then again, the Loki from here is still mightily pissed off about it too."

"Still dating the VP?"

"Yup."

"Wonderful."  They shared a smirk.  "Make sure no one sees him."

"Is he an adult again?  She made him six.  A foul mouthed, drinking six-year-old."

"Sheppard said he was."

"Good!  That'll make my witches quit fussing."

"Nothing makes girls like them quit fussing at someone," O'Neill said dryly.  "I have an language-gifted anthropologist like that.  He'll make someone a fine mother some day."

"No, we stopped that program."  He handed over the file.  "They had some of his."

"Fucking NID," O'Neill muttered.  "We should blow them open."

"Please do.  Means they can't try to come for Thor again."

"Probably trying to compare it to the other Asgardian DNA we have on file."  They shared a look.  "I probably can't do that without outing my own project."

"I don't see much of a problem with that really.  People already know about bad aliens, O'Neill."  O'Neill glared at him, glancing around.  Fury shrugged and smirked.  "They do."  He got up and put down money for the pie and coffee.  "Have a better day."  He left, going back to his hellcarrier to get to work on that subtle leaking.

Dawn walked in and looked over his shoulder, taking his keyboard to get into a different site.  "Started way back when."  She handed it over and walked off.  "I'm off to beat an agent.  Should I leave him able to eat dinner?"

"Did he hit on you?" he called after her.

"Not exactly."  She walked up the halls humming, finding the pussbag she wanted.  She kicked him into a wall, staring at him.  "Why oh why did I get called to the infirmary and she was sobbing your name?" she demanded dryly.

"I got her there!" he said quickly.

Dawn cast the truth spell on him.  "Repeat that."  He tried and then had to grab his water to put out the flames coming off his tongue.  Dawn smiled, crossing her arms over her chest.  "So why did I have to go help her?"

He broke down crying.  "I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to summon the wish demon on my ex!"  He looked up at her.  "I didn't!  I swear!"

"Uh-huh."  She walked off.  Other agents were watching.  "We'll be talking later when there's no audience for you to get sympathy from."

He started to reach for his sidearm but another agent took it from him.  "I don't think you need that for any possible reason you might be reaching for it."  He hauled him up and down to the shift commander.  "Sir, Miss Summers just attacked him and made him confess something about a wish demon and his ex, who apparently is in the infirmary."

The shift commander looked at him.  "Really."  The gun was put on the desk and the agent fled.  "What did you do?"  He started to say something but flames came out of his mouth.  "I knew I allowed Summers to use that truth spell for a reason," he said dryly, letting him have his coffee to put out the flames.  "Wanna try that again, Agent?"  The guy burst out crying and babbling about how sorry he was.   The shift commander called up to the infirmary to get the file.  "You couldn't think of anything worse than a VD curse?" he snorted.  "Unimaginative and weak on top of stupid."

***

Dawn walked up to Agent Hill on the bridge.  "As senior female on this barge, Tara wanted to know if the female agents wanted to do something girlish sometime soon so they had female downtime."

Agent Hill blinked.  "I have no idea, Summers."

"Okay, well, ask around.  You're high ho on the totem pole to use a common expression."  She smiled.  "Not that we know you didn't beat your way to the top."  She shrugged.  "Tara was thinking a girly movie night and maybe some pedis or manis."

"I'll pass that around, see if there's an interest."  She smiled.  "Aren't you supposed to be at Stark Tower?"

"Nope.  Tony told me to stay here because the guy who was trying to snatch me for the Initiative mess showed back up as my blind date last night."  Agent Hill winced.  "So yeah, I'm being the boss guy's assistant so he can find his desk," she said dryly.  "Let us know."  She went back to Fury's office.  "Tony stomp the guy flat yet?"

"Not yet.  He's still searching for him.  Where did you put the budget files?"

"In the file marked budget," she said, getting it for him.  "These two filing cabinets are Admin things like the budget and protocol files."  She pointed.  "This is the disciplinary file cabinet.  Sorted by year for the lower drawers and the top one by name."  She pointed at the third set.  "That's for your top secret stuff that's already online anyway since they have the best locks."  She smiled.  "And the coffee maker has real coffee."

"I noticed.  Thank you."  He got up to check those, adding a few of those to the protocol cabinet.  It was actually filed in a way that normal people understood and could follow.  His desk was too when he looked.  All his forms were in labeled folders.  "Dawn, go sort out the paperwork issue on the main bridge."

"Yup."  She went back out there.  "Agent Hill, Fury said to sort out your paperwork mess too."

She smiled and pointed.  "All the daily reports, agent reports, all that."

"You get agent reports?"

"They pass through me."

"Ah."  She nodded, going to set up an area for those.  She had to get something from storage but it worked.  She heard a coo and smiled, taking her niece.  "Hi, Callia.  Help the Auntie Dawn file.  You'll like filing.  It's like working in a library only no Library of Congress system to confuse you."  She fashioned a carry sling and they worked together while Pepper went to talk to Fury.

Thor stomped out and paused.  "You had no spawn that I knew of."

"It's my niece, Thor."

"Ah!"  He smiled.  "She's grown since I last saw her."  He came over to look at her, getting a smile and a wave.  He waved back and smiled.  "You're adorably drooling."

"Babies drool," she said patiently.  "They have to cut teeth."

"I've seen some that did that."  He took the baby to hold.  "Did you mystically appear?"

"Pepper brought her."

"Wonderful.  You're much too young to fly or teleport yet."  Dawn was giggling.  "Are you nearly done?  She's thinking quite hard."

"Nearly.  Tell Pepper I need the diaper bag?"  He handed her back and hurried off.  Dawn got finished.  "Agent Hill, will this work for you?  Check it over while I change her."

"Restroom just outside the break area has a changing pad for some reason," she offered with a point.  Callia was a cooing, happy baby.  It was nice to see.  She looked it over.  Everything had a labeled place to be put and a basket to hold it.  It was nice and efficient.  As long as the hell carrier didn't flip onto its side or anything it should hold.  Dawn had even put a stapler and a box of paperclips there for ease of use.  She sorted a few things to her personal way of grabbing them and it was much nicer.  "People, we have a new place to put reports.  There are labeled baskets.  I expect you to use them."  The staff all nodded and checked it on their way out to breaks.

Dawn came back with the baby and a whiteboard.  She stuck it to a wall and put up a note.  Then she smiled.  "For your daily notes or rotation changes."

"That would work.  Usually I just text it."

"Half of the people up here never carry their phones," Dawn said.  "You can do it at the same time so they can't claim they missed it."

"Good point."  She patted the baby on the head.  "You should be somewhere safer."

Dawn snickered.  "I think it's okay for today."  She walked off telling her about the ship.  The baby loved stories so it was good.  They ran into Steve Rogers in the hallway and he cooed, picking her up.  "Baby Stark."

"She's adorable and drooling."  He grinned.  She squealed and patted him on the nose.  "Thank you, dear.  You're going to be very smart like your father.  Hopefully you'll wear more clothes than your mom."  Dawn snickered as she took her back.  "Are you babysitting up here?"

"Pepper brought her."

"That's fine."  He smiled and let them head for the Mess Hall.

Stark walked in.  "Is your aunt teaching you about girl food already?" he teased, smiling at his daughter.  It was apparently lunch time.  Callia was standing in a chair and eating the smashed up veggies her aunt had in a bowl.

"I sure am.  She's got to learn about veggies so she appreciates them, unlike Xander."  She fed her some carrots.  The baby squealed and ate them, smiling and waving at Daddy.  Who hugged her.  Dawn grinned.  "Going to repossess her?"

"Probably.  Fury said the hell carrier's too dangerous to have her up here for long."

Dawn gave him a funny look.  "So's the street when you guys are fighting.  For that matter, so are cars.  There's safety procedures and I'm pretty darn sure I can remove us both from here if something happens."

Stark smiled and patted her on the hand.  "That's why I like you as Pepper's assistant."  He fed her the next bite of carrots since the baby was making begging noises.  That made her happier and she squealed at the agents in the Mess with them.  "You're happy today.  Did you learn how to squeal from your aunt too?" he teased.

"I'm out of my squealing phase," Dawn quipped.  She took back the spoon to feed her some more carrots.  "New nanny?"

"Being interviewed.  Want to babysit tonight?"

Dawn blushed.  "I kinda might have a date."

"Should we pat him down for weapons?"

"Yeah, you might want to.  Someone introduced me to their little brother, who's in agent training.  He's twenty."

Stark considered it.  "Not too big of an age difference.  Tell your mom?"

"Yup.  She's still nagging that I was helping evacuate and shield people."

"She's a mom.  They do that from what others say."  Stark finished feeding her.  "You done?"  The baby pouted and pointed.  "We'll see if they have other mooshy things for you, Callia."  He went to look.  The cook was most happy to moosh up some cauliflower for her.  "Thank you."

"She's a delightful child."

Dawn smiled.  "She's my niece."

"We'll stock up on chocolate now for when she's older," the cook quipped, cracking Tony up.

Natasha walked in and stared.  "You're loud," she said at a squeal.  The baby squealed louder and waved at her.  She waved back.  "Hi."  The baby pouted.  She patted her on the head, getting her hand gnawed on.

"Babies teeth like puppies," Dawn said.  "Only not on shoes."

"That's good to know."  She got free and patted the baby again.  "Eat and grow strong enough to need self-defense lessons."  She looked at Dawn.  "School?"

"Out for spring break," Tony said with a grin.  "Her stalker's back."

"The former bodyguard.  He's not a stalker.  He's never called or anything like that," Dawn quipped.

"No, we arrested the actual stalker, who had wanted your powers for something he was working on," Natasha said.  Dawn groaned and shook her head.

Tony stared at Dawn.  "Why didn't I hear about that?"

"I barely heard about it," she admitted.  "After the fact."

"You're welcome," Natasha said, walking off.  "Since you're off school and only working on the office tasks around here, we'll be sparring in a bit."

"Yes, ma'am."  Natasha got some fruit and walked off happier.  Dawn huffed but they fed the baby then let her go home for now.  Dawn changed out of her work clothes to something for sparring.  A few of the agents gave her funny looks.  "Sparring practice."  They just nodded.  She walked in and took the staff.  "We're doing weapons?"

"You're going to be on the range later.  I can't bruise you that much."

"Go easy on me anyway?  I have a date tonight."

Natasha stared at her.  "Has anyone had a talk with this boy yet?"

"He's the little brother of an agent."

"Hmm.  We'll do a background check, just in case.  Your sister's bad taste might be sticking to you and you wouldn't realize it."  She attacked and Dawn defended as much as she could.  She was getting better.  Phil walked in.  "Did you know she had a date?"  Over the last year and a half they had teamed up together to help Dawn's education in the more mundane things while Pepper taught her like a big sister would.

"The boy had a 3.2GPA in college, NYU.  Majored in biology.  Has had three serious girlfriends but is not one to play around or expect it before they move in together.  He was serious enough with all three to go there but they thought him a bit clingy so ended it.  He's not shown any traumatic signs that we'd look for that indicated abusive behavior, rage issues, or even being a dickhead," Coulson told her.  "Overall, he's not a bad first date for her."

"I've had a few others," Dawn admitted.  "Even if one did turn out to be the former bodyguard."

"You handled that fairly well," he agreed, smiling slightly at her.  "You're still dropping your right guard."  She huffed but got back to it.

"At least a biology major will know what birth control is," a male voice called down.

"He's not getting near my panties for at least the first five dates and then he's only allowed light groping during making out," Dawn quipped back.  "I'm young, not easy."

"Tenth," Coulson told her.

"Pepper said we can make out on the fifth date.  By then I should know enough about him to make that decision."

"Tenth," he repeated, walking off.  "And wear pants."

"I was going to wear the new blue outfit.   Want to pick out my shoes too?"

"Ugly ones," he assured her.  "Orthopedic if you have some."

"Nope, I have cute toes."  She got back into the sparring practice.  An alarm started to go off and she felt the magic.  "I swear to the Goddess I'm going to end Willow myself."  She glared that way and snapped out something in Latin.  The alarms stopped and she smiled.  "There, better.  No loud noises making my head hurt."

Coulson called in and nodded.  He hung up.  "Fury said you're grounded.  That was actually an ambassador."

She snorted.  "Sure it was."  She pushed her sweaty hair back and looked at Natasha.  Who shrugged.  "Be right back."  She stomped off, staring at the person she had put the idiot curse onto.  "Did you just try to magic this ship, Mister?"  She removed it and he blinked at her.  "Answer me!"  She tapped a foot and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're a delightfully sweaty child."  He sneered.  "How dare you question me."

Dawn manifested some power and he flinched, backing away quickly.  "These are *my* people.  Do you understand me?"  He nodded.  "You do not try to magic anyone of *my* people or I call friends to help me clean up your abused remains."  She banished the power.  "Don't do it again."  He nodded, looking down.  "Thank you for your cooperation."  She walked off.  "I'm off to spar some more.  It's only making me look better for my date later."

Fury blinked a few times.  "Get some damn chocolate," he called after her.

"While I'm primping for my date, thanks for the permission, Director."  She shot a grin at him from the elevator.

"I hate kids," Fury muttered once she was gone.  "Sorry, she's a bit protective."

Tara cleared her throat from her spot behind two overprotective agents.  "She's good at it and we appreciate it in her."  She stared at Fury until he backed down.  "She'll be eighteen in ten days, she's not a child."  She stared at the idiot.  "The Goddess would hate those who tried to curse the ship to misfortune."

He backed away from her.  "I'm sure I meant no such thing and it was a slip."

"Good."  She smiled and strolled off.  "Let me make sure her outfit isn't something her sister would wear."

Fury shook his head.  "I love our witches.  They're very strong women.  Even if one is quiet and shy."  His assistant smiled and nodded.  He led the ambassador off to his office to talk to him about what he was trying to do.

***

Dawn looked up from her seat in the ER, shrugging some at the scowl she was getting.  "We got jumped.  He tried really hard to defend me but the ex-boyfriend of his was mightily upset."

"Seriously?" Natasha asked, tipping the girl's chin up to look at the bruised cheek.  "Coulson didn't say anything about that."

"He hid it very well," he said as he walked in, handing her the forms.  "Sign."

She read them over and signed them.  "So I can go home?  Because I totally don't blame him.  The guy was a bit unhinged.  He got a few of his buddies to straight bash us."

"Thankfully he pressed charges and so are you," Natasha said.  "Your mother just groaned and said at least it wasn't someone trying to capture you."  Dawn rolled her eyes.  "Let's go."  Dawn hopped off the table and grabbed her jacket.  "That is a cute outfit."

"Thank you.  Mom helped me pick it out."  She smiled at the nurse.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, dear.  Be more careful."

"It wasn't the date.  It was his ex.  If it had been my date, he'd be in the ICU."

Coulson smiled and nodded.  "Probably yes."

She punched him on the arm.  "I would've put him there myself."

"Fine."  He held open the door for them.  "What are you doing for your birthday?"

"Pepper promised me some shopping as long as we're not in the middle of something."  She heard someone shouting and looked then at her fellow 'assistant'.  "I think they love you."

"I think they don't know me."  They got into the waiting car and headed off.  "How is Alexander?"

"Still in the infirmary on Atlantis.  They can't get email while they're in flight."

"We'll see him soon I'm sure."  She looked at her.  "You comported yourself well.  The young agent as well.  He's been advanced in his training."

"We're not going to be serious.  He's a sweet guy, very much a comic geek, but he wants a real girlfriend who doesn't have a schedule like his.  School or work, but not both and then sparring and other practices or emergencies.  But he's a really nice guy.  If Buffy liked nice guys I'd gladly set them up."

"He's not quite dangerous enough for her yet," Coulson said.  "He will be by the time he's done with his training.  He's going to Xander's training compound next week."  Dawn grinned.  "When we get back, go to bed."

"I know, I have classes again tomorrow before we fly to Singapore."

"Why isn't Pepper going?" Natasha asked.

"She is, that's why I'm going.  Stark's not going."

"Oh, dear."

Dawn nodded.  "Yup, basically."

"You're wearing a locator," Coulson said.  "They have enemies over there."

"Sure.  If I must."

"You must," the two agents agreed.  They pulled into the parking garage at Stark Towers and got out to escort her up there.  The lower levels of sleeping rooms was untouched from the battle.  That's where they were staying until the rest of the tower was fixed.

Tony met them at the elevators.  "His ex-boyfriend straight bashed you?"  She nodded.  "Huh.  Never had that happen to me."

"Xander either."  She smiled.  "Am I still on the Singapore trip tomorrow?"

"No, because you got a death threat earlier."  He handed it to Natasha then walked off.  "Go to bed, Dawn."

"Going, King Nag."

"I'm not wearing the sparkly crown today."

"Does that mean we should send you with Buffy to Saudi since you're a princess too?"

He paused, glared at her, then burst out laughing.  "Not quite.  King definitely, not a princess."  Dawn smirked.  "Go to bed before the funny mental disease becomes contagious."  He went back to his office to tell Pepper that joke.

"What?" Coulson asked.  Dawn explained it as they escorted her to her room to lock her in.  Because they were highly overprotective that way.  He even took the death threat to look over and handle for her.  It would help banish the thought of the Middle East turning into Valley Girl central.  The clerics over there would definitely hate the booty skirts and heels.

***

Fury looked up at his two 'normal' agents that night as they answered his summons and tossed over a disc.  "Get familiar with it.  With the way his powers are about scattered, I want him in a protected spot he can fire from.  That's his dossier, his tape from self-defense testing we snuck in on him, and footage from the invasion in LA.  I do *not* want to ever see him deage and nearly die again taking on the bad guy all by himself but he's just like that."

Natasha stared at the disc then at him.  "I take it that's on Alexander?"  Fury smirked and nodded.  "Very well.  Dawn's in for the night.  The death threat is being looked at."

"It's another magical person from what I was told."

"How bad can they get?" Barton asked.

"If they get her, have enough power, and the right spells they can open interdimensional portals with her blood," Fury said.  He handed over a folder.  "What you were looking for.  We wanted to know what a Key could do too.  Thankfully we took over the Council's duties and library.  I had to hire some major book nerds to make me an index and research out of them since half of them can't be scanned into a computer."

They settled in to go over it.  Natasha knew some but that was a lot more comprehensive.  "No wonder there had been a hell goddess after her," she muttered.

"Dead.  Iron Man killed her with Rosenburg.  Took an hour," Fury said.  "That was when she was first given to Pepper to mentor."

"Good!"  He went back to the files.  Dawn seemed a lot more normal than this.  "Can she access it?"

"Only briefly or it knocks her out.  Only in emergencies but she's got enough personal power to do things like shields, moving people, that stuff."  Fury looked at him.  "That has knocked her out too.  She's the sister of a hero, the almost little sister of another, and learned very well that sometimes the duty sucks ass."

"Yes it can.  I'm glad I'm working on her weapons skills."

"I want a rating on that," Fury ordered her.  "By the way, Buffy taught her how to use an old-fashioned crossbow.  They use them sometimes on patrol."

"She's not fully accurate at it, fires too high and to the left," Natasha said.  "She does not want to follow in my footsteps."

"No, I believe she'll be our hidden asset," Fury said.  He smirked.  "I can put up with her doing the paperwork for Hill.  She and Tara make an interesting team and it's better if they're safe up here."  The two agents nodded.  "They won't be *agents* but they're someone we'd have to watch over and help with emergencies anyway."

"So we should bone up on magical stuff?" Barton asked.

"If you get magic to work for you, you're fired," Fury assured him with a smirk.  "You'd be evil."  Barton smirked back.  "Learn demon classifications though.  They seem to like them and a lot of them respect the girls."

"Got it," he agreed.  They went over Alexander's files.  He wasn't *bad*.  "Who trained him?"

"Heimdall."

"Figures.  Modern weapons?"

"Often.  Pets and coos."

"Great."  They watched the invasion.  He had been moving civilians when he wasn't firing on the mass of demons.  He had been too far away to see any of the real action going on.  Someone had been wearing an assault cam so this was that footage.  They could work with him until he was up to their standards.

***

Xander finally made it home and collapsed onto the couch with his war puppy.  Bia smiled at him.  "Fury said until you're at full Xander strength and capabilities, you're to handle things from up high with Barton."

"Whatever," he muttered.

She tested him.  "How did you do that?"

"Explosive release."

"Huh."  She handed him something.  "Wear a bit out each day, Xander."

"Will."  He yawned and let himself drift off with his dog.

She made out a list of things that still needed to be done that Xander could wear his powers out doing.  There was always training too.

12: Training Old Ones

The first group of recruits show up at Xander's new temple to be trained.

Fury looked at his agent.  "Coulson, since you're so handily available and we're in a lull at the moment, I want you to take the junior agents to Xander's wherever and get them set up to train better.  Take Barton and Romanoff with you so they get used to working with Xander if it comes up."  He nodded.  "Dawn can go or stay as she wants."

"Dawn pops around for popcorn all the time," he said blandly.  "How many am I taking?"  Fury handed him the list.  "Fine."  He walked off making mental plans, which got noticed by Bia since she sent him a text message that they only had housing set up right now for twelve students.  That cut down his list by half and he told Fury why.  He agreed that was fine and they could rotate them when necessary.

Dawn walked past him and tossed a candy bar onto his folder.  "Because you'll need it.  Xander's being a grump today."

"Problems?"

"Not many but the whole 'not ours' thing is still giving him flak and feedback.  The Elder ones are not happy about being found out."

"Pity but they shouldn't plot against each other."  He nodded at another agent.  "Are you joining us?" he asked as he walked off.

"Nope.  Gotta go be super assistant girl."  She widened her eyes and grinned maniacally.  "I have no idea what he'd do without assistants.  Probably shoot the paperwork."

He slightly snickered.  "That might happen, yes."  She grinned and headed back upstairs.  He went to make his first cut of agents and tell them to pack.

Dawn walked into the office area.  "Good morning, Ms. Havers."

"Back again?" she asked politely.

Dawn smiled.  "Pepper and Tony both assigned me here temporarily because of a death threat."  She knocked and walked into the office, handing over the pastry.  "All yours, the last cherry one they had."

He looked at her.  "Have a nice trip?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded.  "Tara and I had a *lovely* tea at that shop that you recommended."  He snorted and took the pastry from her.  "We've also made up a list of what Tara wants and needs in a work area.  Including one that has something like dirt.  Metal has an appeal but she's a nature witch."  She handed over her tablet computer.

He read it over.  "Can we do that?"

"We do have the gardens in the greenhouse area.  They're very confined, which we both understand, but she was taught as an earth-centered witch and she did most of my training, what I got of it.  Mostly it's a lot of following the recipe, finding the spell," she said at his dirty look.  "It's not like there's a *school*."

"No, thankfully not," he said dryly.  "Can she arrange this?"

"We're not totally sure and won't even start to look for an area without permission.  She knows you'd have a fit if you walked into a room that was suddenly a tree-filled summery area."

"Probably," he agreed.  He stared at her.  "What if Loki comes back?"

She smiled.  "According to the history the monks kept, he does know what a Key is.  He does know that Alexander will kill his ass if he tries something with me but I'm not the same sort of power as the blinky cube.  It takes the right spell at the right time."

"So if he plans it....."

"Goes to a hell dimension most likely," she said.  "I'm not sure if you can focus it that way and no one I've asked to look in the libraries of has had that information."

"Even better."  He considered it.  "While you're here, I want you to be armed."

"Natasha is working on my weapons and self-defense skills, Fury."

"I know.  I applaud that.  Especially with the ones that want your sister starting to gather again."

She looked at her phone.  "It's February, bit early for the usual spring apocalypse attempt."  She put the phone back after sending a text message to her sister.  "We'll see what's going on."

"I have Faith reporting to me."

"Am I involved?"

"Not yet.  Though it was nice that shutting Sunnydale down meant that the hell all along the west coast calmed down some."

She grinned.  "You can't really close a hellmouth.  You can do the same as stitching a wound but it won't heal.  It's a rip in the fabric of space and time.  It will tear stitches and has in the past."

"I know."  He grimaced but let it clear fairly quickly.  "Cleveland has the worst now."

"I'm sure people *love* that," she said dryly.  "Do they have evacuation plans?"

"I'd hope."

"I'm going to check with our emergency services people."  She took back her tablet to make that note.  "And one for LA because I'm pretty darn sure Angel never thought about it."  Fury nodded.  She made that note as well.  "Any other concerns?"

"No babysitting."

She looked at him.  "Most likely, anything going on I'd evacuate myself and whoever you wanted me to take with me, including her."

"If the ship's attacked again, you may not be able to."

"I was here when the ship was attacked last time.  I was trapped up here thanks to that meeting."  He winced.  "Loki didn't even notice me."

Their Loki appeared, staring at her.  "I'd never want to make my son that angry with me."  She punched him on the arm, making him yelp.  "Wench!"

She glared and he blinked when she started to glow.  "I'm no wench and no serving girl either, Loki.  I may not be a goddess but I'm still fairly powerful if I want to be.  Notice I don't go looking at the craft as my new career?"  He nodded.

Xander appeared.  "Dawn, down."  She backed down.  He looked at his father.  "Touch her, watch me destroy everything you hold dear," he offered.

"I was saying I didn't have plans of it," Loki said.

Dawn looked at him.  "Do you ever not have plans for something?"

"Point but not about you.  It's not really the realm I'd like to open to."  Xander popped him on the head.  "Son!" he warned.  He pulled up power.  Xander pulled some of his and he stopped and stared, looking horrified.  "How?" he demanded, staring at Fury.

"When the Initiative assholes drugged him, he had a power explosion," Fury reminded him.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, that was part of it."  He stared at his father.  "Do you mind not screwing things up?  I've got plenty of hell going on right now from the Elders being pissed that we found out about their switching vacation plans," he said bitterly.  "And for some reason that's my fault."

"Actually, I believe that was Odin's starting," Loki glared.  His son shrugged.  "I have no plans of hurting your...friend."

"She's like my sister, Dad."

"Is she going on a horse then?"

"Hell no!"  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "She'd definitely remake Valhalla's female population if she did."

"That might be for the best," Loki muttered.

Xander smirked.  "All Odin or Frigg has to do is lift the chastity barrier."

"They'd never do that.  Remember the last one that wanted to be married?"

"Yes, and it was brilliant that I helped him get through it."

"That was you?" Dawn asked.  "With the circle of fire?"

"That was the time before last," Loki said dryly.  "The last one had her tied up inside a boulder."

"Pissed me off to no end since she was helping me guard some of the villages," Xander told her.  "I kindly told her future spouse how to get her free without killing her and then I presented the shards of the boulder to Odin during a council meeting.  Where I nicely pointed out that making me cover all the villages at once meant that I'd consolidate them to be safer and that would mean less temples for them."

Loki smirked at the young girl.  "The point did get across after their pool of worshipers got shrank by about a third with the combining.  He tried to make them undo it but the villagers said that there was no protection so they wouldn't."

"It also meant that they had big enough villages for markets and marriage brokers," Xander agreed.  "It helped the people prosper and be safer.  It helped all the Gods but Odin."  Dawn patted him on the arm with a grin.  He hugged her.  "Beyond that...."  He looked around.  "What the fuck?"

"Who?" Fury demanded, turning to his computer.

"Floating person by the infirmary.  It's like that imp guy from the Superman cartoons."

Fury found him and groaned.  "We found an honest to goodness leprechaun."

"Talk to Dr. Peter," Xander said simply.  "That's his people's people."  He disappeared.

Loki looked at her.  "At least he's as protective as any monk."

She smirked.  "He's a great big brother.  That's why he bought me weapons for my birthday."

Loki smirked.  "You do have that thread of chaos in you.  Chaos is part of creation."

She waved a hand.  "I'm almost eighteen.  All the chaos I have is making men pant and want me."  He gaped.  She smirked back.  "I'm very wantable.  Everyone should want a girl like me in their lives."

"True," Fury said.  "You can't date up here.  No dating junior agents."

She looked at him.  "Listen, Mom."  Loki cracked up.  "I don't plan on ruining any of them.  Really.  Most of them are a lot older than me.  That's Buffy's thing, not a Dawn want.  I want someone closer to my age who wants to be a good boyfriend.  Ideally someone that would remind me of Phil now and then because he is the blueprint for a stand up guy, even though he's much too old for me."

Fury cleared his throat.  "I'd like more agents like him and if I find one near your age I'll think about letting you two date."

She smiled at him.  "Do you really think you could stop me going on a date for coffee?"

"Well, yes.  We do have cells."

She smirked.  "That I can destroy," she said happily.  He shuddered.  "I'm not Rosenburg.  I have sense.  The same as Tara has sense.  Really."  She looked at Loki.  "Reasons for needing a meeting?"

"That other me didn't feel you."

She smiled.  "He shouldn't need me.  I can't get to the same realm.  And Xander said if they tried he'd marry me off to someone nice but protective."

"Good!"  He disappeared.  His boyfriend looked at him.  "Talking to Dawn."  He rubbed his forehead.  "My son is leaking universe's energy.  She's a mouthy child with ideas."  His boyfriend kissed him and handed him the advil bottle.  "Thank you."  He took a few and another kiss, going to lie on the office couch.

Dawn smiled at Fury.  "Any other plots and plans you want me to disband now, Director?" she asked, sounding chipper.

He stared at her.  "You cause me hell and I'm sending you to an all girls's school."

"Never tried being a lesbian.  I'd have to see how that worked for me."  She walked off.  "Going to make evac plans."

"Thank you."  He took some of his own painkiller.  Then he went to talk to Coulson.  Rumors had him being her 'big brother' and nagging the agents about her.  He walked into his office.  "Loki didn't spot her."

"If he had, she doesn't have the right wavelength."  He looked up.  "We checked."

"She's not to date up here."

"She's almost eighteen and we don't have fraternization rules, sir."

"We do now!"

"Not like the agents up here would try for her.  They're all at least ten years her senior and they know she's not some easy party girl."

"Thankfully.  What about college?"

"Another semester of school, sir."

"Fine.  She's making evacuation plans and working up plans for a room to practice in."

"There's a nice one I'll show her.  It has wood floors."  He looked attentive.  "Any other problems?"

"Not yet.  As long as she's safe up here.  I'm not responsible for her if she jumps people or whatever."

"Beyond picking on one of the senior agents who was trying to haze her, she'd never jump them, sir.  She doesn't really want someone that old."

"She told me you were the blueprint for her future boyfriend."

Phil smiled.  "I'd make a very good one if she were older and she realizes that.  As an ideal I'm a good one.  I'm steady, have a job, am protective but not overbearing about it.  I'm attentive and I'm a nice dresser."  Fury walked off shaking his head.  He texted Dawn.  She sent one back.  He told her where the room was.  She sent back a squeal and she was getting the senior agent dweeb again.  He told her to be gentle about it.  He put his phone back up and went back to work.

***

Dawn strolled into the mess that night during dinner and stared at the sneering agent.  She turned him into a pony and patted him.  "You'll make a fine boyfriend once you learn to like girls in a better way.  Because I heard you talking about your present one and I'm offended for all women everywhere at having to consider you human.  So make yourself useful and be the pony of the group.  You'll do great giving rides for stress relief.  Most of us won't even make jokes about desperate cowboys on the range."  She walked around him and went to get her dinner.

Agent Hill was staring from her table.  "Dawn, why is he a pink pony?"

"Because with the way he talks about women he's secretly a seriously submissive person and needs a bit of humiliation to get off."  She grabbed her salad and water, walking off.  "When he's a better human being he'll be one again."

"Okay," she decided, texting Tara and Phil Coulson.

Fury stomped in and stared.  "What did you do this time?" he demanded.  His phone beeped with a message from Coulson.  It was a report on why he was staring at a former employee.  "Yeah, that gets you a riding saddle in a jail, Agent Wentworth."  The pony shuddered as he turned back.  "Someone arrest him so we can throw him off the carrier."  He got his own dinner and went to get that report from the infirmary.  The three female agents he had been tormenting were in a private wing of the med center.  The doctors wouldn't let him talk to them because he was a man.  So he'd send Agent Hill later.  Or Tara.  She could fuss and get them to talk about things better than any shrink.

***

Dawn appeared in front of Pepper that night.  "Did you know they're all really uptight?"

"I did," she said with a wince.  "Sorry."

"Not your fault."  She waved a hand and sat down on the chair.  "I got to witness some serious problems earlier so I made a new pony."

Pepper smiled.  "Agent Hill told me."  Dawn smiled back.  "Good work."  Dawn relaxed.  "School work?"

"No one's sent me a single thing recently.  Was I supposed to teleport to classes today?  Which is why I came down actually."

"Um...  I thought we were sending it to you.  Let me check on that tomorrow."  Dawn grinned.  "Other problems?"

"Fury tried to tell me I couldn't date any of the agents.  Because apparently he's mixing me up with some ho."

"No, I know you're not that sort of girl, Dawn.  He's not used to nice young women with skills outside of being an agent."

"I doubt he told his assistant that.  By the way, she hates me."

"I wasn't aware he had one."

"Me either.  Apparently she can't file."

Pepper rolled her eyes.  "I'll look into that.  We're having a trip next week if you're going with us."  Dawn smiled and nodded.  "Good.  I can hear Tony grumping."

She leaned back to look up the hall.  "Boss, you need some chocolate?  You sound like a fourteen-year-old me.  All you need to do is squeal 'oh my god' a few times."

He smiled at her.  "I had chocolate earlier when something wouldn't work."

"Was it a wiring problem like usual or a power issue?  Or did you have one of those genius brain fart ideas?"

"Partially the last two.  I need to be able to counter magic in case we run into it."

"Magic is an energy source on a different spectrum, a more biological one."

"I've been working on a blocker that counters that."

Dawn shook her head.  "The fastest way to stop a witch casting is by a short shot of energy to distract her.  We get really focused and if you can do that in a battle situation you're casting like Willow, which means a taser would work there too."

"That's not a bad idea.  What about blocking it from hitting the suit?"

"Technically if you do that my protection on you falls too."

"I'll take that into account."  He smiled.  "Are they driving you nuts?"

"Yup.  Fury tried to proclaim me a hooker for the whole boat.  Told me I couldn't date anyone up there, because there's so many that I'd want."  She waved a hand in the air.

"He has an assistant?" Pepper asked.

"He did?  Beyond Agent Hill?"  He looked back at Natasha since she was back watching him for Fury.  They had made peace since she seemed to be helping mentor Dawn now and then.

She nodded.  "Technically only in the main office and she's not very tolerant.  She feels Dawn would take her place since she's more glamorous and skilled."  She looked at Dawn.  "A pinky pony?"

"Did you hear what he did?"

"I hadn't."  She typed out a message to someone up there and winced.  "You should've made him a toad."

"I wanted him to stand trial or I would've done that and used him in that new protection spell Tara and I found."

"Good tactical thinking," Natasha praised.

"Speaking of, the emergency people aren't sure why we need an evac plan for LA and Cleveland.  I broke the system to get your reports from Cleveland and the head guy's drunk and hoping like hell we can just close the towns for good."

"They're both too big and have too many industries going on," Pepper said.  "Especially LA."

"Routine freakout over demons?" Tony guessed.  Dawn smiled and nodded.  "Wonderful.  Let me talk to Banner about hellmouths."

"Sunnydale's shut down so he can safely go measure there," Dawn said.  "They tried to stitch it closed but it's still probably leaking."

"I can do that."  He walked off tapping out that message on his phone.

"Director Fury might not like that," Natasha said.

Dawn shrugged.  "There's that whole apocalypse each spring thing going on and we think that they're already building toward this spring's."  Dawn called Buffy from the desk phone.  "It's me."

"Why?" Buffy complained.

"Whine at me again, watch me have someone shut off your chocolate fund, Buffy.  What is going on this spring that Xander's going to have to help you handle?  Bia wants to know."

"Um...  I have no idea."

"We've had some people gathering powerful artifacts," Pepper said.  "We've noticed some pretty heavy hitters with magic heading toward you as well."

"Just what I need," she said dryly.  "I'll ask Giles and Wes, see if they can figure it out."

"Remember to keep the people under Fury in the loop," Dawn said.  "They might have to clean up the edges or something, or Goddess forbid if someone like Loki thinks it's a fine time to attack."

"I hadn't thought of that.  I'll send it to Fury tomorrow."

"Thanks.  Let me know if you need my help too, Buffy.  Stay safe and alive."  She hung up.  "Magic users, artifacts... summoning maybe?" she guessed.  "Recharging or depleting would matter."  She made some notes and handed them to Pepper.  Who smiled at her for it.  "Anyway."  She stood up.  "Am I staying down here or up there?"

"I don't know," Pepper admitted.  She looked at Natasha.

"I have no orders on that either."  She called and walked off.  "Dawn, you're to stay down here if it's not too much for you to report to work."

She shrugged.  "Pepper, can I bum the teleporty thing?"

"Sure," she agreed, smiling at her.

Dawn grinned at Natasha.  "Then I'm going to go home and soak.  I tripped on the stairs earlier."  She disappeared.

"Tripped on the stairs?" Pepper asked.

"That same agent set up a trap to catch the female agents on the stairs to humiliate them.  That's how she stopped him earlier."

"Great."  They shared a smirk.  "You wanted permission for what?"

"Driving lessons.  Including defensive driving."

"Talk to Happy.  I think he's given her a few oral lessons on how to drive."

"I shall."  She went to do that.  "Happy?"  He looked up and smiled at her.  "It's time to teach Dawn to drive."

"Her mother won't allow us to.  She wants her to do driver's ed."

"Her school doesn't offer it.  I'll work on that."  He nodded and held up a set of keys.  "To...."

"The car Alexander had in Sunnydale.  He left it in her care.  It's a fairly modest sedan."

"That should do then.  Thank you."  She walked off making plans to fit driving lessons for the young one into her schedule.  Then she and Barton had to talk to the slayers to make sure they knew who to call when something huge happened.  They were both tired young women who had been fighting too long and might slip and fall any time now. They had to be ready for that.

***

Natasha Romanoff had not had to talk to many mothers in her day.  Joyce Summers was a very fierce mother.  She was fiercer than some of the people who had trained Natasha into the spy she was today, even being sick.  "I've decided Dawn should have driving lessons."

"I wanted her to do it officially through the school, Ms. Romanoff."

Natasha shook her head.  "They don't offer it."

"Why not?"

"Because most of the children in that school will have drivers."

"I hadn't thought of that.  Even Sunnydale's pathetic school had driver's ed."  She shifted and got comfortable.  "Is this because someone else wants Dawn?"

"It is for her future safety but also because it is a life skill she'll need.  I doubt she'll always be the sort to want to pay a driver and bodyguard."

"It might help if she did," Joyce complained.  "I heard she had a date that got her sent to the ER?"

Natasha smiled.  "The date's ex-boyfriend attacked them for daring to dump him.  They had not been serious.  He and Dawn also agreed he wanted someone who was like her only with fewer scheduling issues.  Just one job, not a job, school, and training."

"Why is she training?"

"So the next time someone wants to take her hostage she can handle it herself.  Every young woman should have self defense lessons, should they not?"

Joyce considered it.  "I don't want Dawn in the field.  I'm going to lose Buffy some day, I don't want to lose both of my daughters," she said calmly.

"Training makes sure of that."  It was a sentiment she understood.  "A few of us have been helping her with things so she's not overly bothered by the senior agents or others who believe her a child."

"I've heard.  I'd like to meet this other big brother she's got."  She sipped her tea.

Natasha smiled.  "He's one of the senior agents and he's the same one that helps Tara."

"That nice boy in the expensive suits?"  Natasha inclined her head.  "Huh.  He did seem decent.  Dawn's got good taste in who she's setting up as a roadsign for a good relationship."  She put her tea mug back down.  "What else do you have planned for my daughter?"

"Originally I was going to see if she could train as an agent.  Dawn has expressed her desire to help in more safe ways, mostly to make sure you do not lose her as well."  Joyce smiled and nodded.  "Though she is aware that the world is a dangerous place, she's taking steps to make sure she is as protected as she can be."

"I like that about her.  Buffy's had to take too many stupid risks over the years."

"Sometimes that is the job, even if it isn't the most pleasant part."

"I know.  I figured that out watching the kids handle apocalypse battles like they were minor things.  Like they were school projects that had to get done."  She sipped her tea again.  Natasha's phone beeped.  Joyce smiled at her.  "Go ahead and check it.  It's probably Dawn."

She did and smiled at the threat Dawn sent her.  She sent back that they'd talk before sparring.  "She is indeed feisty today."

"Dawn's always feisty.  She can be dead on her feet and she'd be feisty."  She stared at her.  "Do not turn my daughter any more dangerous than you have to, Agent Romanoff.  I'm well aware of the fact that you're on that new team.  Not from Dawn but from the news.  Dawn would never tell me anything that would worry me."

"She is very discreet when she wants to be," Natasha agreed.  "That's why we didn't know she had been picked on until she kicked an agent and broke his leg."

Joyce smiled.  "They were picking on her?"

"It was stopped by Agent Coulson and Dawn herself.  I had no idea that a few of them were picking on her until he called a staff meeting to warn people to leave her and Tara alone."

Joyce smiled.  "Tara's a sweet girl and as much one of my daughters as my biological ones."

"She is very sweet.  She bakes cookies.  It's not a skill many women possess today, especially inside SHIELD."

"It's how she thinks.  Willow used to bake for guilt but Tara thinks best when she's doing something like planting or cooking."

"She has been fantastic in the greenhouses as well.  I'll have someone ask her what is troubling her or have her sent to you."  Joyce smiled and nodded.  "As for Dawn, do you have any desires about her going to college?"

"Yes, and she will graduate, unlike her sister.  Buffy ran into a problem with slaying and school, yet again, but I want Dawn to graduate as high up the chain as she can.  Even if she does go back to being an assistant like Ms. Potts.  That woman was very good to my daughter when I was in the hospital."

"She was.  Dawn considers her like a favorite aunt.  They were conspiring over her new shoes for a date this weekend."

Joyce grinned.  "That's my girls, always fashionable."  She stared the agent down.  "Do not let my baby get hurt, Agent Romanoff.  You will not like it when you're forced to realize where Buffy and Dawn get their mean and stubborn streaks from.  Even if I would have to have Xander help me," she said quietly.

Natasha smiled.  "Your younger daughter is much like you in strength.  That is why she came out of your treatment healthy, as you did."  Joyce tipped her head with a smile and sipped her tea.  "I'll make sure she is as safe as she can be."  She stood up.  "I'll let you rest and nag your daughter about her clothes for patrol.  Most of us would want body armor," she said at the odd look the mother gave her.

"Buffy said she can't bait in body armor and it's too restrictive for fighting."

"I'll see if our suits would work for her.  My own is very useful in fights."  She nodded and left.  Joyce hadn't scared her but she was scary in ways that Natasha never could be.  She would never be the mother that Joyce was.  She went to find Dawn.  "Driving lessons."

"She agreed?" she asked, her head popping up from Phil's paperwork.

"She did.  Though you are to pick a college soon.  We are to talk about body armor with your sister so she doesn't have to fight in a skirt and wedge heels again."

Dawn pulled out a picture.  "She went in that outfit a lot her first year in Sunnydale."

Natasha looked at the picture of a teenage Buffy wearing a backless shirt, a fashionably short skirt, and heels.  "That is not the outfit I would want to do battle in."  She handed it back.  "You have more sense."  Dawn grinned.  "Other than that, she wanted you to graduate college and to not join your sister in the field."

"I know.  That's why I'll be like Pepper instead of you.  I don't want to upset her.  She's got enough to worry about with my sister."

Phil smiled at her.  "I think it's a good decision and it'd only wear on you to be in the field anyway.  Speaking of, have we picked a college?"

"We have it narrowed down to four that have all accepted me."  She smiled.  He grinned back.  "I'm calling for a pizza dinner Sunday to go over them since two of them were recommended to me and the other two I'm not sure I want to go to.  I have no idea why Tony wanted me to go to MIT.  I'm not exactly an engineer."

"Good point," Natasha agreed.  "We can civilly talk about it Sunday, barring another attack."

She snapped and found a folder, handing it to her.  "What my sister is looking at this spring.  LA's is a different matter and it's Wolfram and Hart trying to restart.  Xander's been fighting against it but they have some higher demons in their pockets."

"Why didn't you give me that?" Phil complained.

"Because it's probably not going to take the whole team.  Maybe a few agents to back them up, and hopefully engage in some post-apocalypse stress relief with my sister, but not the Avengers."

He hummed and took the folder to look over, wincing at what he saw.  "No, I don't think more than Thor could handle that."

"Thor doesn't do magic," Dawn pointed out.  "He's still confused whenever Tara and I float things."

"Good point."  He smiled at her.  "We'll send it up so they can get some decent agents, and maybe Director Fury will send someone she might like."

"As long as he's not stakeable, I don't think anyone would mind," she offered.  "Oh, and tell them to leave Spike alone?"

"I don't particularly like Spike," he said.

"He guarded me a lot," she reminded him.  "He was my favorite Dawn sitter."

He nodded once.  "I'll tell them he's not a danger to the team at this time."

She smiled.  "He'd appreciate that.  He got so depressed when my sister and Willow treated him like he was helpless.  Only Xander really got that Spike was still dangerous, even if he couldn't harm a human being.  He's the only one that treated him like he was still a master vampire, just a disabled one at the moment.  I think Spike even got a bit suicidal in there when they were chaining him in the bathtub and stuff."

"I've known agents who have gotten that hurt so I've seen it," Phil told her.  "I'll make sure they know he's dangerous, just...a bit disabled thanks to the control chip."  He patted her on the knee.  "Go put on pants?"

She hugged him.  "You're a great big brother and my skirt actually hits my knee when I'm standing.  I'm very demure and proper, even if I am a flirty tease at times."  She smiled at Natasha.  "Isn't that your fault?"

"Perhaps," she agreed.  "Come along, Dawn.  I have the keys to Alexander's former car."  Dawn squealed and hopped up to follow her.

Phil smiled, going back to his own paperwork.  Dawn had taken over eighty percent of it so he could do the classified, important things.  He might actually make it home at a decent hour tonight thanks to her help.  When he got done, he carried things to drop off where they went and took the file about the apocalypse to Fury.  "Sir."

"Coulson."  He held out a hand, accepting the folder.  "Dawn do your paperwork?" he teased with a smirk.

"Yes, sir.  She's done all the mundane things for me within hours."

"Her mother?  I heard Romanoff went to visit."

"She did and got permission to give Dawn driving lessons, sir.  Also, those of us around her are going to talk to her about her college plans on Sunday, barring another fight."

"That's fine.  Girls like her should go to college and then find a real life."

"With her upbringing, she's stated she'll help in the way Ms. Potts does, sir.  She doesn't want to make her mother mourn her as well."

"That's a good daughter," he agreed.  He read the file and winced.  "Shit."

"Basically, yes, sir.  She suggested that it's not something the full Avengers could handle but a few agents might be helpful.  She also suggested that we use this as a way to introduce her sister to decent beings she can't stake if they have a domestic argument."

Fury nodded.  "Might help, yeah.  What about that vampire around them?"

"Spike?  She said he's one of her favorite former babysitters.  He taught her how to pick locks and shoplift."  Fury rolled his eyes.  "The picking locks is handy and if she has to flee something, shoplifting can be a life skill she'll need to gather necessary supplies."

"Point.  A bad one but a point."

"She also said that Spike is still very...human in his outlook.  That his continued... disability due to the control chip has worn on him like agents that have had similar career-ending injuries."

Fury looked at him.  "Do you consider him dangerous?"

"Yes, I do.  According to her, that means I saw something that Alexander did in him.  The girls did not."

"Huh."

"And they used to chain him up in the bathtub."

Fury let out a quiet snicker.  "That had to be hell."  He reread it.  "Assign ten lesser agents to rotate in and out to help her for the next few months.  I want it ended by the end of June.  If they hit on the slayers, that's between them.  Not part of our business."

"I'll pick a team and send them to you for approval, sir."  He left.

Fury sent the information on Wolfram and Hart to the SHIELD office on the west coast.  They had to know what the usual spring problem was.

***

It was the night before they left for the training camp.  Natasha was walking up the halls carrying dinner and two beers, knocking on a door to an agent's rooms.  He opened it.  "Burgers from the good place?"

"Better than the salads they've been trying to force on us."  He let her in and took his beer to open.  "Thanks, needed that."

She handed him his bag and settled on the chair next to his bed.  "I have been hoarding information that you probably need.  I realized this earlier while giving Dawn a driving lesson and we were talking about the training camp."

He nodded.  "I've heard nice things about it being difficult."  He dug out his burger and ate a bite, moaning.  "The really good place.  How did you get to New Orleans?"

She smiled.  "Stark has a beaming satellite."

"Really."  He put it aside and took a sip of his beer.  "How does that work?"

"You have to be keyed into it."  She sipped her beer and smiled slightly.  "Which you now are for emergencies."  He grinned at her for that.  She went over how things worked around Dawn, including how she worked at Stark.  Fury had been right, too many things happened to Dawn and there was every likelihood that he'd have to help them handle something.  He finished eating while she talked, then asked questions.

"She didn't have a weapons rating beyond 'took some training'."

Natasha nodded.  "She has some training.  Guns are not her first thought.  I have worked on her hand-to-hand many times.  She's not bad but she'll never be senior agent material in that manner."  He nodded slowly.  "She is proficient if not expert at guns.  She's got a size queen issue as she calls it.  Heavier ones always make her focus more."  That got another nod.  "She has a fondness for archaic weapons thanks to her sister's duties and their friends doing what they must.  She can vaguely handle a sword but isn't very sure with the one that's on her wall.  It's mostly for her magical altar thing that I do not understand."

"Okay," he agreed, considering that.  "What about magically?  We were told she had some lower level skills but access to that Key thing."

Natasha nodded.  "She does.  In the past she has passed out by shielding a building so that it was not destroyed during a battle."  He winced.  "That is not a minor skill, no, but she does discount her skills and hides others for her own protection."  She took a sip of her beer.  "Her mother is quite certain she will not have two heroic daughters."

"I can understand that.  It's got to shred her nerves watching over Buffy."

"She's had a very serious health issue."

"I saw the mention of her being in UCLA."

"On oncology.  She had a presumed-caused brain tumor."  He raised an eyebrow.  "Those same ones that were in Georgia.  Which is why we're both getting more scans than normal."

"I thought they were coveting my brain earlier," he said dryly, finishing his beer.  He got her a second one from his mini-fridge.  "I missed a lot being in Arizona."

"You did," she agreed.  "Coulson and I alternated helping her with her later adolescent years.  She's a good, sensible girl but Fury was right.  She's the sister of a hero and the adopted little sister of another in Alexander.  I've had her show up after minor things with bandages and ignore my wishes for some privacy to handle things for me.  Then she left me alone.  Usually with some ice cream or something she picked up."

He smiled.  "So she's a bit more girlish but she's not squeamish and she understands what sort of hell we have as a job."

She nodded, smiling back.  "She does.  I've seen her nag and swat Stark out of a building mood and a sulk both.  He glared at her and she just babbled at him and hugged him on the arm before reminding him about his daughter and walking off."

"Huh."  He sipped his new beer, considering it.  "Would she be willing to take a more minor role in SHIELD?"

"No.  She's quite sure she wants to stay the assistant sort as she put it.  She might take over Mrs. Havers' place.  She is quite snotty to Dawn.  Mostly because we have made Dawn into a glamorous, charming young woman that has the same steel her mother carries in her backbone."  She finished her first beer and tossed out the bottle, opening the other one.  "German?"

"Of course."  He sipped.  "So, she's like Potts the next generation but she's got skills toward helping those of us who might need one some day."

"Yes.  She's also promised if I needed a sudden place to hide some day, or called in a personal reference, then she would do so.  I taught Dawn not to trust anyone outside her made family but those ones she will."

"Which is you, Stark, Potts, and Coulson," he said.  She nodded with another slight smirk.  She sipped her beer and he finished his, getting comfortable on his bed once he had tossed the bottle out.  "That makes sense."

"He is very much her big brother."

"I saw the nagging before her date."  He grinned.  "She seems nice."

"She is until you upset her.  Then she'll growl and do whatever she feels she must.  Oh, and she does swear.  Often."

"Some girls do these days."

"I have heard her swear more than a shipful of Navy SEALs over something irritating but not critical."

"Wow, I don't know many more foul mouthed people than some of the SEALs I know."  He stretched his arms up and back then put them down.  "But if we come in totally injured...."

"She'd fuss over the injuries.  If she must, she does know how to make a last stand sort of situation work for her.  Including having the office attacked.  We've had one or two over the last few years.  She does have a temper."

"She's just about eighteen.  Of course she does."

"No, she has a very fiery temper."  She smiled.  "She turned it on me once when she was having a very bad week at school due to some problematic teachers picking on her.  I let her vent, while Stark was watching, then offered to kill the teacher bothering her.  She told me to give her a knife and she'd do it.  Stark sent her out with Pepper for some shopping time and talked to the teacher, who fled before I could get there."

"Okay," he agreed.  "She's young and handles things but now and then she'll let it get to her."  Natasha nodded.  "That's good to know.  How often do things really happen to her?"

She sighed and pulled up her personal files on that.  "That is what I was there for.  I know there were a few I missed because Coulson filed reports.   A few he may have stopped before then.  They're generally broken into three groups: against her sister, for her magic, or against Stark."

He read them over, one eyebrow going up.  "She had a what?"

She looked then smiled.  "She was very plain child of fifteen when Pepper took over mentoring her.  Two of the guards went to jail over trying to work their way into her pants.  She was not really aware of it at the time but Stark saw them trying to corner her and broke it up before she became aware.  Later on she became more aware of her body.  She is a flirt.  She does tease.  She even teases Stark and makes his week usually."  They shared a look.  "Some day I'll find someone worthy of her and introduce them."

"I heard rumors that she's set Coulson up as a measuring stick."

"He's a good one but she thinks he likes them uptight."

"Great."  He kept reading, shaking his head.  "Football players?"

"They were in it for the virgin points.  She totally dismissed their attempts and went back to clubbing."

He nodded quickly.  "Did anything need to be done?"

"One pinched her and she slugged him, ineffectually but enough that he got the point.  They got thrown out of the club.  Dawn found a safer one.  They went back to campus."  She shrugged.  "She's got sense.  She's sure where she's heading and knows how to get there in ways other than on her back.  She's been saving for her college and paying her own way with Pepper."

"That's good.  Very good actually.  I can't stand the society girls that lay there and want you to do all the work."  He kept reading, shaking his head.  "Someone let Vissily live?"

"Not after that," she said dryly.  He looked at her.  "We had a discussion.  When I showed back up to talk to Stark about him, he wasn't there but Dawn pulled me into an unused lab, babied the few cuts I had, no matter how much I told her to stop it, and then fussed over me.  She said I deserved it for not letting her stab him.  Both punishment and reward, but to next time remember she wasn't a bimbo."

He laughed.  "No, she's clearly not."  He finished the list and handed it back.  "I'll watch out in case someone does try something for her.  I know a few agents here stare."

She nodded.  "You should see it back at the main building in New York.  She's had a few that nearly followed her until Coulson glared at them."

"Some of us are leches," he said dryly.

"More than some."  She stood up.  "This way you know to watch out for her in multiple ways."

"I wouldn't mind someone who fussed over injuries once I'm calmed down."

"She has a bad habit of getting to you before then.  She does me.  She does Coulson.  Pepper still does it for Stark but Dawn helps by bandaging for her."  She left him to think.

He got another beer and relaxed.  Dawn was an interesting topic that would probably drive him nuts in close quarters but if she drew trouble like that he might have to stalk her around now and then to handle it.  It was a good warning.

***

Xander smiled at the new trainees and the three head people riding herd.  "They needed escorted that much?"

"It got them past the protections and I'm not staying," Phil said, looking around.  "Not bad for the first step of the expansion."  He looked at Xander.  "The shields are down?"

"Yeah, part of the backlash of finding all those elder ones taking vacations on other realms.  They're pissed off.  I'm going to arrange that later."  Phil smiled.  "Gotta wear out the extra energy before I start to be a nightlight.  Bia?" he called.

"Painting," drifted down from the temples.

"So?  Phil's here with the trainees."

She appeared in cut off shorts, a paint-dotted t-shirt, and her dark hair in pigtails.  "Hi, Phil."  She gave him a quick hug.  "Are these the new recruits?"

"Yes, they are."

She smiled.  "Hi, guys.  I'm Bia, Xander's consort.  Excuse the clothes, I've been painting."  They mostly smiled at her.  "We have a bunk house set up.  We're working on expanding things so there's more of you at one time."   She looked at Xander.  "Are you asking Roque to come in?"

"He's going to anyway.  Clay's being moved to the mountain."

"Wonderful."  She grinned.  "Jensen plays a mean hand of cribbage with me."  She smiled at them.  "For now, go ahead and drop shit in the bunk house, take a walk to get acquainted where things are.  Your bunk house has a kitchen area so you can cook.  Because I frankly can't beyond simple breakfasts."

"I can but I'm not great," Xander admitted.  "Once we're fully expanded, there'll be a caf but for right now.... krogers is down the hill."  The agents nodded.  "It's a nice two mile run there and back actually."

"Stopped on the way," Phil assured him.  "Drop your bags, come take a tour."  They walked off.  "Have you met Black Widow and Hawkeye yet?" he introduced.

"I've heard of you both.  Agent Phil tried to get me to flirt with you," he told Widow with a grin, shaking her hand.  "Only the dangerous ones like me."

Bia swatted him on the arm.  "Which is why I'm only your consort, Xander.  I'm a good girl."  She smiled at the other one.  "If you're staying to supervise, there's two rooms down there for trainers.  One's above the garage, the other's above the indoor gym."  She took them to show them around.

Phil looked at Xander.  "They need to be better and stronger.  They're the agents that will be helping us handle apocalypse battles and the like."

"They can train like we got trained.  If you want to add trainers to that, send them in a week or so."

Roque appeared.  "Training?" he asked.  "Did I hear the siren's call of kicking asses?"

"You did, and they need to be tougher, stronger, and able to handle apocalypse battles," Phil said with a smile.  "Nice work with the wraith, Roque."

"Thanks."  He stared at him then at Xander.  "You did what?"

"Saved him.  Willow brought him back and he's more than worthy of being in the family."

"Your dad's going to start having *plans*," Roque complained.

Xander smiled.  "I adopted him into my house, not my natal house, Roque.  That means he's not related to my dad."

"Even better."  He looked around.  "Shields?"

"We had them."  He found the thing he needed.  "Let me set this into the ground."  He set it and Bia helped him sink it into the rock underneath the soil.  Xander poured layers of magic and energy onto it.  "Let it sink in then we'll anchor the edges again."  Roque came over to add his own.

Ares appeared and shaped it better.  "Zeus is back."

"Really?"  They shared a look.  "Am I going to hear more hissies?"

"No.  Not once he heard what was going on."  They looked up as the shields went back over the valley.  "Thanks, Mother."  They shared a look then he looked over the recruits.  "Military so partially trained.  I'll have John sent to help with his people."

"I can go ask him," Xander said with a smile.  "It'll help with a few things."  Roque looked and growled.  "Phil, give us a few."  He disappeared, flashing onto Atlantis in full brilliance mode.  "Hi."  He smiled.  "I need you and your two warriors to come help me with some training of agents for future apocalypse battles.  Yours against the wraith can only help them and even I have problems beating Ronon and Teyla."

"She's got her son," John admitted.

"That's fine.  The house is pretty kid proof with the dog."  He smiled at the watching people.  "Oh, I remember you.  You tried to kill Tara by burning her alive."  The woman flinched and moved off.  He felt something hit his back and slammed his elbow back to kill that one.  He pulled out the needle and handed it over.  "Feels like a sedative."  He bound the idiots and floated them to the gateroom.  He looked at John when two were in uniform.

"No clue about them," he admitted.  "Do I have a house there?"

"Yup."

"Wonderful.  We'll be up later and I'll bring Rodney so he has some defragging time."

"There's enough spare rooms available for Clay to bring his team too," Xander said with a grin.  "Fury sent us some trainees."

"Oooh," he said with a hiss and a happy smile.  "That's sweet."  He patted him on the arm.  "Later."

"Yup."  He disappeared, going back home.  "John will show up later."

Roque smiled.  "Good!  Did they drug you?"

"Tried, didn't make it.  Hey, Bia, NID came for John again.  They were trying to hit him with fertility meds."

"They're so fucking toast.  I'm telling his mother."  She called her while she was showing the trainees where everything was.

Xander and Roque both shuddered.  "If my mother shows up to nag, just smile and nod," Xander told Phil.  "And then remind her that I adopted you into my house, not hers.  And if she's pregnant, just flee.  It's always better to run."

"I remember her trying to flood the hell carrier while in flight."   He looked around.  "Not too many perching spots for Barton.  He likes to hide in higher up areas."

Xander pointed.  "They're subtle but there's places overlooking the training ring, the pond, and a few other areas so we can stare down at them."

"Good.  Dawn wanted dinner on Sunday to talk about her college choices."

Xander smiled.  "We can host."  He nodded and got sent back home.  Xander looked at Roque.  "I told Clay he could bring his team."

"I have spare rooms."

"I told John to bring Teyla and Ronon if they wanted."

"His temple has rooms and we can add Teal'c too."  He went to get him from the base.  "Teal'c."  The alien looked at him.  "Xander has some greenie agents in for training.  He wanted to know if you wanted to come help kick them around."

"It would be amusing," he agreed with a smile.  "I will be there tomorrow?"

"That's fine.  Call and we'll come pick you up."  He looked at O'Neill.  "He went to save John too.  Said something about NID and fertility drugs."

"Great," he said sarcastically, calling out there.  "Sheppard, what the fuck happened?"

"The usual, sir.  Idiots in charge syndrome.  I need to finish cleaning them up and discharge two people back to you because they got caught as well."  He hung up.

O'Neill shook his head.  "Great," he repeated.  "Roque, I've got some green team members too."

"He needs to put in more bunks.  He's only got twelve set up right now."

"That's fine.  We can help him with that soon."  They shared a smirk.  "Everyone from the city has two weeks of downtime."

"Great."  He flashed out, going to gather the team, and the few family members, to bring back to his temple.  Hephaestus was looking around.  "Did we break something already?"

"No, not hardly.  Zeus wanted to look around.  He thinks everything's too small."

"We're still adding on," Roque reminded him.  "We're going to be adding on new trainee barracks and things next.  More temples will come as more of us settle here."

Hephaestus smiled and nodded.  "We can do that now."  He crafted the expansion spell.  "I need three senior gods to help."  Xander came up to pour energy into it.  He blinked.  "How did you do that?"

"Got tortured, drugged, and nearly died," he said dryly.  Zeus showed up with the real Odin, you could tell.  "Doing some expansion work," he quipped.

Odin stared at him.  "How did you do that?"

"Torture, drugging, explosion?  Few weeks back?"

"Oh, dear."

"Apollo had to save him.  He was going to atomic bits when he finally shut off the link," Roque told them.  "Of course, he had been deaged to six at the time thanks to Rosenburg."

"What is wrong with Hecate?" Zeus asked.  They moved to anchor the stretching spell.  Two others that still liked Xander showed up to do that.

"We think Rosenburg did some sort of linking, friendship sort of spell on her early in her magical tinkering," Xander said.  "When she finally dies, Hecate's going to feel it like the loss of a special friend."  Zeus grimaced but nodded.

Odin looked around.  "Not many of your mother's touches."

"She's still mad."  He shrugged.  "Krishna considered that whole incident a *test* I had to pass."

"If I had known, we would have stopped it sooner," Odin said blandly.

Xander stared at him.  "I'd hope so since that nearly got this whole plane eradicated."   Zeus shuddered.  "Yeah.  Basically."  Ares showed up to add to the protections and then added a few new buildings to the training grounds.  "We need more barracks and a caf, plus staff housing," Xander joked with a grin.

"I put in a caf.  Most soldiers can't cook."

"I think field cooking lessons are always a good idea," Xander admitted.  "That way you don't starve."

"That's what MRE's are for," Roque quipped.

Xander looked at him.  "Eww."  Roque nodded he agreed.  "We're still going to teach them to spit cook and those sort of things.  Just in case since their job could have them sent to another world or realm where they'd have to hunt for their food."

"Good point."  Hephaestus looked down there and got what he thought the trainees needed.  Ares added more.  Zeus huffed but he and Odin upped the valley again and more senior gods came to help.  It was pretty rare that anyone set up anything new beyond an apartment.  Some of the demis came to help too.

John showed up with his people.  "Did we miss the party?" he asked.

Zeus looked at him.  "You broke out," he said bluntly.

"While Xander was six, I was his placeholder."

"You might still be my placeholder," Xander admitted, feeling around.  "Yeah, you are."  He called it back to him but it still left John a god.  "Cool."  They shared a smirk.  "Look, new agents to train," he cooed.

"Cool," John said with a smirk back.  "Let's find our home temple, guys."  Hephaestus and Roque took them to look that over.  The God of Builders called his other ones in to help put up things like a drinking hall for the demis and full gods.  They needed a meeting area that wasn't a bar in London.

***

Xander was watching the groups spar the next morning.  "He's not bad," he admitted.

"Natasha is wiping the floor with him," Hawkeye complained.

"Jensen's a Delta trained soldier."

"That explains why she's wiping the floor with him."  Natasha got Jensen pinned but Jensen changed and pounced.  "What the fuck," he said, staring in awe.

Xander grinned.  "Jensen's also from one of our refugee communities."  Barton stared at him.  "Dragons, yup."

One of the agents in training raised his hand.  "How did he do that?" he called.

"Birthright gift," Xander called back.

"Oh, never mind then."  He shook himself until he could think straight.

Jensen shifted to his smaller size and grinned at him.  "Awww, you're so adorable when you're confused!"  He licked Natasha on the cheek and grinned.  "Two of the agents aren't all that surprised."

She stood up and looked at them.  "You two, change," she ordered.

"Can't down here, ma'am.  I have no idea how he did it," one admitted.  Jake changed back and walked over to teach him.  The other one listened and huffed but changed.

Xander stared at him.  "Dude, sun and protein, today," he ordered.  The dragon huffed but nodded.  The other one changed and Jake made him go hunt down his own food since he was nearly white.  The other went with him.  He smiled at Natasha.  "Not all of us are the best bare-handed fighters, though there are some."  He pointed.  "These are Ronon, Teyla, and Teal'c.  They work with John and General O'Neill's people.  Teal'c is from a warrior society.  He's older than all of us but the demigod contingent.  Teyla's people were fighting beside John on Atlantis.  Ronon's people were wiped out by the wraith.  He was used as a training exercise by the wraith and lasted seven years."

Natasha nodded.  "Thank you all for doing that."  Ronon smiled at her.  "We'll see who is better."  They nodded and sparring practice was on.  Teyla was good.  She needed weapons so that was easily arranged.  Teal'c and Ronon were both excellent fighters and it was nearly happy making for her to find someone who could beat her.  "We need to see if either of you can spar against Rogers."

"Steve can come here any time he wants," Xander promised.  He looked at the others.  "For those of you who haven't figured it out, I'm Alexander, Protector of Mankind."  A few shivered.  He smiled.  "Son of the Loki from this realm, unlike the one that attacked New York, and a Hindu River Goddess.  I've been in every battle for Valhalla and half of the ones in other pantheons.  I'm very much a weapons person instead of a bare-handed fighter.  Roque, who is a demigod from Africa, is better at hand-to-hand.  He was taught singular hunting and stalking.  I was taught full field battles.  Before I ascended, my job was guarding the villages."

One agent raised his hand.  "Then Thor is your uncle?"

"Yes."  He smiled.  "He's a very tolerant uncle."  That agent nodded.  "Though he and I have gotten into a few knock down, hair pulling fights over the years."  They smiled.  "Behind the others is my half-brother John.  He's also known as Colonel Sheppard."  A few smiled and nodded at him.  "He was running Atlantis.  I hid up there a few times when I got sick."

"You'd better never pass out at my feet ever again," John warned with a smile.  "Or else I'll beat them to death and then hire someone to nag your ass."

"Yes, dear."  He blew a kiss.  "Behind him is actually Tyr, who is our war god in Valhalla.  Ares threatened to pop in a few times too.  So the bearded guy in leather is Ares."  They all nodded.  "We all have things we can teach you, even if I can't beat the lovely Agent Romanoff in a sparring session.  Though I'd never play that nice in a real fight."

She smiled back.  "Of course not.  Then it's whatever works."

"It is."  He smiled at the group.  "We're also going to be teaching you guys how to spit cook and things just in case.  That'll be dinner one night while you're here.  Until then, any questions?"

"Are all sparring matches out here?" one of the agents asked.

"Yes.  How often do you think your battles will be in nicely air conditioned buildings?"  The agent blinked.  "You'll be sparring out here each morning no matter what it looks like.  Even if there was a foot of snow you'd be out here, because most of your battles will be outside."

Hawkeye nodded.  "They usually are.  Range?"  Xander pointed at a new building.  "Where was it before?"

"There but no building.  I haven't gotten the fancier stuff put in yet so it's fairly basic.  If you want to make them go hunting for their spit cooking lesson that's fine.  I was going to teach basic snares and traps."

"No, we can work with that," he decided.  "What's on your agenda for training?"  Xander showed him the schedule.  "Not bad.  Sparring most mornings, endurance work in the afternoons in various ways.  A morning of practical non-battle skills that could save your life if you're in trouble.  Spit cooking?"

"How often is it possible that they'll be displaced or have to fade to protect someone?" Xander asked.

"I've had to use it in the past," he admitted.  "There's not always a 7-11 on the corner."  The agents groaned.  "Welcome to field work," he quipped.

"They're also doing three planned patrols with the slayers in Cleveland or LA."  Xander pointed.  "That way they're used to the vampires, demons, all that and you can make sure they don't freak out at the strange issues that might pop into their lives."

"That's not a bad idea.  A few of these are going to be rotating off to the hellmouth now and then.  Is that why you have a basic lesson in sword work?"

"Yup.  And another one in crossbows and stakes."

"Good."  He handed it back.  "This morning is sparring to make sure you have some skill in it," he said.  They nodded, moving to test against the better warriors.  Teyla wiped the floor with most of them.  Ronon certainly did and he was already ordering the boys in how to do it better.  As was Teal'c.  O'Neill showed up with some new military members for his away teams and they got involved too.  By the time lunch was called everyone was sore.  Bia showed them where the showers were, including the thermal mineral spring she had called up for their needs.  They ate, soaked for an hour, then got back to work.

If they noticed Xander was taking his own opportunity to train against the better warriors, no one mentioned anything.  It was always a good idea to up your skill set.

***

Barton was watching the kids fight from the cliff-side walkway a few days later.  "They're tired."

Xander nodded.  "They have tomorrow off, even if they don't know it yet."  He looked at him.  "They've got to be better.  If there's a real apocalypse battle, it'll probably be a multi-day one next time.  They're not up to where they could have been at the one in LA and not had to fall down during it."

"Those times you pull up extra energy somehow," Clint said.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, but they don't have that pool yet.  They will.  Give it a few more weeks.  A few are finding it filling."  That got a nod.  "You wanted to ask so go ahead."

"I actually had a few questions.  Consort?"

"Odin demanded that all the gods in Valhalla or attached to them marry and have kids.  I pointed out I'm the only grandkid and I didn't want his throne.  Especially after we had my dad taking over for a bit when my uncle was banished for being a teenage boy again."

"I saw."

Xander smiled.  "I kicked his ass a few times over things."

"I saw the aftermath with that one."  He shifted.  "So she's your political spouse?"

"We've been friends for years.  She, me, and John used to prank everyone.  It solved people nagging her that she should remarry, because she was at one point in time, and it solved me giving in to Odin's demands.  I was dating Carolyn Lam, out of the SGC."  He nodded he had heard of her.  "But she didn't want to become immortal to stay mine.  She suggested it and we're still casually seeing each other but she doesn't want to be immortal."

"That can suck I guess.  So you two aren't really more than sharing a temple?"

"Yeah, basically.  Bia wasn't really allowed to hang out with anyone.  So that solved another issue for her.  Odin wants us to have kids but I sponsored a few energy pregnancies to get rid of some taints I have.  It just weeded them down pretty far," he said at the confused look he was getting.  "So that got past the whole 'has to have a kid' thing.  Bia and I are in the sort of consortship that if we find someone we really want, we can break it by going to Hera and asking politely.  She knew it was to get Odin off my back, get Bia out of nagging range, and to help me set up here."  He grinned.  "If you want to flirt with her, she'll probably giggle and swat you but if you get farther than that, it's fine with me.  That's all up to her."

"Thanks.  She's a sweet lady."  Xander burst out cackling, shaking his head.  "I guess all women have it sometimes."

"Yup.  She's a hellion when she wants to be.  Though she's always sweet to Star Wars fans."

Barton smiled.  "I guess since she's the Goddess of Force they worship her?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "That's great."  He leaned on a rock, watching the kids spar.  "One still hasn't learned what sunscreen is."

"Lack of common sense happens.  I should send him to that world I landed on after Rosenburg blew up Sunnydale.  Two suns."

Barton stared at him.  "Huh?"  Xander removed the glass eye, making him wince.  "When did that happen?"

"When Rosenburg blew up Sunnydale.  I was caught in the blast then she sent me and Roque to a world with two suns so we couldn't get out of there.  Had to go through the SGC.  General Landry got overruled by my father to get me back.  It's the last time I asked my father for a favor.  The first time in over six centuries too thinking about it."  He put it back.

Clint stared.  "So you two aren't close?"

"No, not since he wanted me to marry Roque.  It was an alignment attempt and a plan.  It was the worst idea ever.  I walked when Roque became an asshole about wanting me as a wife instead of an equal.  Now he's happier.  I'm glad I made them get together."

Barton nodded.  "I've seen him and his consort."

"They were teammates.  On the same Delta team that Jensen and the others were on."

"That's actually not a bad base for a relationship.  Why didn't they work it out?"

"Roque had turned on them for a bit.  Got totally pissed off at Clay's attraction to crazy bitches."  Barton shuddered.  "So he walked and got tangled in with the other side, which had gotten them declared dead.  Roque asked me to save them so I did some fixing there and ended up setting them up together."  He grinned.  "They're still growling about the whole sex sling discussion thing I set up."

"You did?"

"I so did."  He smirked at the agent.  "It worked too.  They talked and figured it out fairly fast."

"Huh.  I'll keep that in mind."  Xander cackled.  The sparring agents looked up.  "Get back to it, boys.  You have another two hours."  They groaned, got a drink, and went back to sparring with Teal'c, who loved teaching.  "So, Buffy.  Any good in anything but patrolling?"

"That can depend on how far up her ass her head is.  Now and then she thought I was normal before I showed what I really am."

"I heard she gave Dawn that speech too."

"I'm pretty sure Dawn popped back that she wasn't that normal."  He smiled.  "Dawn's a good girl."

"She seems pretty feisty but decent."

"Her mom made sure she's not a bitch like her sister can be.  Then again, I'm not sure if the bitch is partially the slayer essence or not."  He shrugged.  "We were a group that worked together, like the X-Men in the comics, not a team like yours is."

"I can see that.  Ours is growing into a tighter team framework."  He considered it.  "That Spike guy?"

"Spike's a master vampire.  He can find a way around the chip, and has found a way around the chip to fracture the group in the past, but the girls treat him like he's a tamed tiger that is now toothless.  Spike isn't toothless.  He's happy with the belly scratches and the picking on Buffy.  Spike's about a hundred and twenty.  Turned by Angelus and Dru.  Speaking of, she's around somewhere.  We have got to get you guys her file."  He found his phone and tapped until he found it, handing it over.  "Special filters catch them."

"Good to know."  He read it over.  "I've seen her."  He looked around.  "Natasha!"  She looked up.  He waved the phone.  She jogged up to get it to look over.  "Remember her?"

She looked then nodded.  "Prague," she said.

Xander grinned.  "That drove her battier than she had been.  Spike was the vampire helping and guarding her.  They were together for over a century.  He protected her when she was talking to the stars and her doll Miss Edith."  He took his phone back.  "I know she's somewhere in the US."

"Miami," Barton said with a grimace.  "Can you send that to Coulson?"  Xander nodded, tapping out a message and sending it to him.  He got back a text message from Dawn.  He told her why.  She said she'd brief him.  Xander put his phone up.  "Thanks.  We don't need vampire agents."

"If so, Buffy might like that," he said dryly.

Natasha shuddered.  "Dawn suggested that we send agents who might flirt with her."

"She goes for dangerous and predatory," Xander said.  "Angel, and Angelus lusting when he lost his soul.  Spike.  Riley Finn."  Barton growled.  Xander smiled.  "I take it you met him?"

"I read that file."

"They dated for nearly eight months.  He always wanted more backup than Buffy."

Natasha snorted.  "Wimp."  She walked off to get back to training.  Teal'c looked at her.  "About a vampire we have run into that Xander knew."

"I find those things disturbing but they must be handled."

"If you run into Dru, she's a seer and she can warp your mind without really trying too hard," Xander called down.

"And she thinks you're her kitten," John quipped.  "Because only dangerous women like you that way, Xander."

"So true.  Thankfully Bia is giggling over them now."

"If you want to date a dangerous woman, you go right ahead," Bia called from where she was planting trees with Tara.  "I know we're only consorts."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "That's why Bia's a really good friend."

"I saw Anya and kitty hissed at her until she left the agent she was teasing alone," Tara called.

"One did?" Xander asked.

"Yup.  She thought he was very much like you and might like her favorite things."

"Torture or oral sex?" Xander quipped.  Tara glared at him.  He looked at the gaping trainee agents.  "If Anya comes onto you guys, remember that she's very old, very tricky, and really likes money and oral sex."  They just nodded.

Teal'c considered it then looked at John.  "Did she perhaps show up on the base?"

"Yeah, trying to flirt with O'Neill.  She walked off crying when she found out Xander had lost his eye.  Not because he had been injured but because he was now disfigured.  She's a bit shallow, even after her stint as a vengeance demon.  As Dawn puts it, she's all about the moans and the moolah."

"Ah, yes, I do remember her correctly.  She was the one that was talking about needing oral sex," Teal'c said.

Teyla looked over.  "Did she not know discretion?"

"She never quite figured that out when she got rehumaned," John said.  "She wore out Xander for nearly a year.  She worked but wanted him to pay for everything.  If she wasn't satisfied, she told *everyone* in hearing at the top of her lungs.  She was not the sort of girl I want my baby brother to date."

"We should introduce her to Stark," one of the trainee agents quipped.

"He'd never get building time again," Xander called.  "At the time we were dating, I was working construction, patrolling with Buffy, and then going home to her needs."

"Which is why he no longer sleeps unless he's sick," Bia quipped.  "Damn glad I don't have to deal with the stamina though.  I heard how normal people pass out."

Xander stuck his tongue out at her and zapped her lightly on the ass.  "I'm not that bad anymore.  I've calmed down a lot."

John looked at him.  "Should I even mention the three hours of oral sex that knocked out your last girlfriend so hard she asked for an intervention?"  Xander blushed and ducked his head.  "At least she was happy in that scary smiling way."  He walked over to hug his brother.  "I'm sorry I teased," he said quietly.

"How is she doing?"

"She's good.  She's found a slightly normal guy to date.  He reminds us of you but less intense."  Xander nodded at that.  "You'll find someone great."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Shouldn't you be sparring?"

"I'm going later against Ares.  I need to find ways to weed out more energy every day."

"Good."  He went back to the training ring.  "One more hour then lunch, people."  They got back to work.

Barton looked at the young-ish God next to him.  "You have way more stamina than I do," he said quietly.  Xander grinned at him.   "Three hours?"

"Anya really liked oral sex once I showed her what it was.  It helped with her needing and wanting six or more a night.  There was one Sunday night where I gave her about five hours because it was her birthday and that's what she wanted for it.  Then about an hour of regular sex."

Clint Barton stared, mouth slightly open.  "Huh.  I'm never dating her."

"You don't make the sort of money she'd like her boyfriend to have," he quipped.  "She's a present girl."

"Ah, yeah, not my type.  Mine get me as a present."

"She wanted me as a present and then presents.  Buffy retrained her to modern thinking by Cosmo."

Barton shook his head, going to spar to get those thoughts out of there.  "Five hours of oral sex and then an hour of regular sex," he told Natasha.  She stared.  "Her birthday."  She shuddered and attacked him.  "Thank you!"  The trainees gave them a corner of the sparring field.  It was good for them too.

"The sad thing is she wouldn't reciprocate," John complained.  "Xander would've been a lot happier if she had."

"Hey," Xander complained but he was grinning.  "But you're right, she never did.  Guys, after lunch, you're all doing the obstacle course."  The trainees all whined.  "Tough, guys.  I need this area for working on my power stuff with Ares."  They nodded and trudged off for lunch.  Bia always fixed them lunch and it was nice.  Xander looked at the others.  "Go eat too."  They smiled and headed off to inhale the spread Bia put out for them.  Ares appeared, looking at him.  "I can't find enough tasks every day to wear some of that out," he said quietly.

"I figured you couldn't."  He took off his vest.  Xander removed his shirt, and they went at it for a while, then included powers into the battle.  "Doing better," he admitted during it.  The trainees were watching them.  "Your stamina is still up."

"Anya helped me build it a lot," he quipped back, wiping some sweat off his forehead before it got into his eyes again.  "I need a headband.  You're barely sweating."

"I live in a hotter climate," he said dryly.

Bia strolled out with glasses of water without ice.  Too cold would make their stomachs cramp.  "Take a break, boys, before I prove what a goddess can do."  They smiled and rested, Xander walking around in circles while he drank so he wouldn't cool down too much.   "Good boys."  She took the glasses back.  "It's been an hour."  Ares shrugged.  "Fine.  When you're done manfully grappling with each other, I'll make dinner."  She strolled off.

Ares looked at Xander.  "If you had to have a consort, she's a really good one."

"She is, yeah."  He grinned and attacked.  Ares growled in pleasure and it was on again.

Natasha looked over their style.  "He holds back with us."

"He knows humans are more fragile," John said.  "Even us demigods.  He'd never use his full powers or full strength on us."  They nodded that was reasonable.  The lesser agents sent up silent prayers for that mercy.  "Ten minutes then ropes."  They groaned but went to the bathroom, got another bottle of water, and headed for the obstacle course.  John had to show them how to get across the one part that appeared to need godly powers to flash across.  There were actually subtle stepping stones and then a climb back up to the next part because you had to be higher to get across the next part.  The agents groaned but got to it.  They were learning a lot.

***

Dawn appeared with Phil Coulson that Saturday.  "We're staying over," she quipped with a grin for Bia.

"Of course you are.  He has a room in our temple and so do you, Dawn.  The agents are being whiny today."

Phil nodded.  "We can fix that.  What's the schedule?"

"Two more hours of sparring and then the obstacle course.  That's Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday's schedule."

He nodded, taking off his suit jacket and handing it to Dawn.  "Let's go help."

"You should change.  It's dusty," Bia said.  "Go get some of Xander's jeans and t-shirts, Phil."  He nodded, smiling for that courtesy.  Then he and Dawn went down there.

Dawn sighed.  "Hi, Teyla."

"Dawn."  She pulled her over.  "I am using you to show new moves."

"That's fine.  You did a good bit of training with me on the city."  She got to work against her.

"Why is she wearing a skirt?" one of the agents asked.

"Because I'm a girl," Dawn quipped back.  "It's mostly girls who wear skirts.  Now and then you get a guy who does, and sometimes they have very good taste, but mostly it's girls who wear skirts."  She grinned at the senior agents who were laughing.

"I think he means you should've changed," Ronon said.  He looked her over.  "You do look cute in that.  Very girlish.  People would underestimate you."

Dawn grinned.  "That's half the point."  She got sent some shorts by Bia so she went to change and came back to kick some more butt.  Teyla was very patient with her.  The older woman had agreed that some were meant to be front-line fighters and some were meant to be home defense and Dawn did good with that area so she was training her in that instead of going out to hunt down threats.

Phil nodded at John Sheppard.  "I believe I need to see how they're doing."

"Sure."  He pointed.  "Front and center.  You're the weakest we have right now on sparring."  He nodded but grimaced, coming out to get kicked around.

"Agent Coulson, how is your skill level?" Ronon asked.

"I haven't had the time to spar recently.  I would be honored to gauge myself against you, Ronon.  I read your history file and it amazed me."  Ronon smiled and attacked.  It was a good fight.  Ronon was younger, faster, and stronger but Phil had his own strengths in the battlefield.

"Wow," Xander said, coming down.  "Ronon, don't pick on Phil.  He needs a challenge that doesn't have a sprained shoulder.  Teal'c?"  He nodded and came over.  Xander looked Ronon's shoulder over, doing a minor healing spell.  "Have Roque finish that.  Should be as good as new."  He nodded and walked over to Roque.  That helped and then he got to spar with Clay's whole team.  They were good but could do better at times.  Not many were physical weapons instead of firing weapons fighters.

Phil bowed to Teal'c.  "I've read your history as well, Master Teal'c.  I'd be honored to be beaten by you."

Teal'c smiled.  "You have spent too much time talking to those who sit and do paperwork."

"Yes, unfortunately I have."  They got into it and it was good to be moving.  Teal'c was in a class all his own.  "Have any of the junior agents shown skills that we should hear about?"

"A few show some brains and some tactical skills.  Most are....  Field soldiers I believe you call them."

"That's fine.  In any battle there's a place for them and a place for those who can act alone to cause greater damage."

Barton and Natasha were watching.  "Dawn's showing your style too," he said quietly.  She smiled and nodded.  "Coulson's doing really good.  I can't get that good with Teal'c."

"He's been a warrior for over a hundred years.  You respect that sort of dedication and service," Natasha said.  She was paying more attention to Dawn and walked out there. "I taught you better."  Dawn huffed but nodded and did it like she had been shown.  Teyla paused them and showed her a different way of doing it which worked a bit better.  "That is better," Natasha agreed.  She turned it into a three-way battle and it was better.  Teyla could let go against her where she didn't against Dawn.  They had talked about Dawn's skills before.  She understood where Teyla had trained her and why she had trained her for home defense sort of action instead of front-lines fighting.  It was a good thing.  "She still needs weapons training time," Natasha warned.  Dawn was panting and nearly out of energy.

"I can teach her the rods as I was taught."  Dawn summoned them and panted, leaning down.  "Get some water and come back, Dawn."  She nodded, going to do that.  Xander handed her a bottle of water to gulp.  She showed Natasha how to use the bantos rods.  She was a quick learner and very good with all weapons.

"She was playing with my klingon weapon too," Xander called with a grin and a wave.  "Dawn, you have some smaller weapons coming for your birthday present."

"Thanks, big brother."  She hugged him.  Xander flashed off and came back with a box.  She cooed as she opened the package.  "Oh, wow," she breathed.  "Like yours?"

"Yup, like mine," he agreed with a smile.  "Plus a new set of daggers that are just yours.  You can magically mark them so you can retrieve them."  She hugged him and walked over to Natasha to show her.

"We can train you with those," she agreed.  "Good choices, easily concealed, good in most fights you would get into."  Dawn beamed and put them back, coming back to learn bantos rod work.  Natasha smiled at Xander, who grinned back.

"Those are some deadly women, even if one is only deadly in a cute way," one of the trainees said to his friend next to him.  He yelped and ducked when a hard object hit his head at high velocity.  "Ow!"  He rubbed the spot.

"Dawn, bantos rods are not for throwing.  There are clubs for throwing," Teyla said patiently.

Dawn summoned it back and smiled.  "He called me cute like I'm a puppy."

"Your sister is more the fluffy, cute puppy sort," Barton said with a grin and a wave from his safe spot.  Natasha was his own version of the pissed off goddess society.  He knew how deadly she was.  He was staying out of the way.  And learning a lot about how Dawn could do things in case he had to protect her.  He had learned that even if they had to protect Alexander due to him being on death's doorstep the guy wouldn't let anyone fuss over him.  Maybe Bia or if he was with someone they might get some fussing time.  John might now and then when he was in the infirmary but otherwise no one was going to be able to do more than corral Xander into his spot in battle.  Barton looked at him.  "Fury said....."

Xander held up a hand.  "I heard Fury's crackhead idea that I'm not good enough."  He looked at him.  "He's wrong."

"He wanted you to have a less ground-oriented spot until you were a bit more healed."

"I can and have handled ground combat in a number of wars.  I will again I'm sure.  I did during the invasion and I was very new to my powers then.  Beyond that, I'd probably get there before you guys did.  I tend to get this calling pull in my blood to go handle things."

"I don't think any of us would mind that but he wanted you up higher instead of on the ground for a while."

"I may not be the special sort of agents you guys are, but I'm still damn good at what I do."  He walked off before he lost his temper.  He knew it wasn't the guy's fault.  It was Fury's fault for thinking he was *normal*.  Why Fury was turning into Buffy he wasn't sure.  Maybe Rosenburg had infected him from her jail cell.

Dawn glared over at him.  "I'd so run," she mouthed.  "Now."  She got back to it.  Dawn noticed he didn't take that advice so she'd talk to him later about upsetting Xander that way.

***

Dawn let the nice agent guy wake up and smiled sweetly at him.  "Let's talk."  She noticed when he realized she was: a, sitting on his chest, b, he was tied down to the bed, and c, she was not a happy camper.  "My sister, in all her stupidity before she found out he was a demigod, thought Xander was *normal*.  A lot.  Tried to use it and her special girl status with Willow to push him away.  Hell, my sister tried that with me recently," she said, checking her manicure.  She looked at him.  "Which you just restarted.  Why?"

"We were talking about later battle placements.  How did you do this?"  This was not the normal interrogation he was used to.  No hitting, no screaming, no real threat, just one really pissed off teenage girl.

"Did you think the magic only floated coffee?"  He slowly shook his head.  "Did you think I didn't learn a few handy spells to help if I get taken hostage by some magic using mother fucker who wants to bleed me for their sick and twisted desires?"

"I think you're learning a bit too much from Natasha and don't swear.  Good girls don't."

Dawn leaned down.  "I've seen my sister slaying and went on a few patrols before Buffy cut it off.  Buffy's *very* concerned that I'm not normal enough, even though I'm more special than she is, and then she complains when I can't handle it myself.  Which is why I asked for self-defense lessons."  He nodded slowly at that.  "You clearly did not get a good history on Xander.  You upset him and I don't let anyone upset my big brother.  Not you, not his ex's, no one."  She stared at him.  "Why did you upset him?"

"Fury wanted him to take a higher up approach for battles until he was fully healed and back in control."

She snorted and waved a hand.  "Xander is older than most of the countries in the world.  He was born before writing started."  He winced.  "He's been in battles for a *very* long time.  And you want to sit a warrior like him way up high to take shots with you?  No.  Not only no but hell no!  I have no idea why Fury is turning into my sister but no!"

"Eww, just saw him in her outfit," he said, scrunching his eyes closed.  She batted him hard.  "Hey!"

"Focus, jackass."  He glared.  She stared back.  "Like the pink pony, I can make sure you never get to upset my big brother again."  He nodded, calming himself back down.  "Good."  She smiled as she adjusted the pillow under his head.  "Do you really think that's a good idea after learning some more?"

"I think he's tired and sore," he said.

"Has that ever stopped any real warrior?"

"No," he admitted.  "But it means they die from it."

She shook her head.  "It'd take one hell of a lot of damage to kill Xander and he'd probably just reciprocal deage again."  Barton slumped.  "Yeah, like last time.  Beyond that, he's a full god now.  Do you know how few things there are to kill real gods?  Hinds' blood only works on Greek gods, not Norse or Hindu gods.  There's a special dagger that kills Hindu gods, but Xander's only half so it only hurts him a lot.  Only another Norse god can kill one of them and Xander's half there so they'd only damage him a lot."  She stared at him.  "The only thing that can really kill Xander is himself."

"I get that.  He's still tired."

"Which is pretty well why he's set up here to train people."

"He still said he'd be at battles."

"Well, yeah," she said dryly.  "He is the God Protector of Humanity."  Barton frowned.  "That's his official title.  If there's a battle that could hurt a great portion of humanity, or all of it, he's going to feel the need to be there.  Symbolically he'll always take one of the first blows of the battle too.  That's kinda part of the calling," she said, talking down to him.  She started to touch his forehead but he ducked.  "Hold still.  I'm showing you something, not hurting you."  He did and she showed him the first few minutes of the battle.  "It probably wasn't on Fury's little tape."

"No, it wasn't."

"Figures."  She stared at him.  "Beyond that, you seriously underestimated Xander."

"I know he went into the one in New York as a kid.  Fury didn't want it to happen again."

"Fury has no say over what Xander does and does not do.  Hell, the gods Xander swears allegiance to have no say over what Xander does and doesn't do."  She stared at him.  "Underestimating the Sunnydale team is always a fatal mistake.  We may be dysfunctional but we are a family in many ways.  Xander was the backbone of the family at times, Mom was the rest.  He was the one that helped Buffy by jumping in, even though it wasn't done and the Council had a price on his head for it.  He's the one that backed her up, made her see that backup was good for her, got her straightened out when she went spastic about dying that first time, all of it.  And for that she treated him like shit and he still helped her.  Perhaps you should learn something from her experience?"

"I didn't mean to put him down, Dawn.  I was starting off by telling him what Fury wanted for the next few battles so he could talk to me about how he did things."

"Well, you done fucked up," she said bluntly.  "Xander's never going to take a behind the scenes spot if he can get in there and help.  Hell, Xander didn't have to be in any of those battles and he was.  Even the ones up there in Asgard.  He was to guard the villages, not jump in when the main hall was attacked."  He nodded.  "You two are a lot alike underneath the superhero costume.  Think what you would've done if someone had started off that way with you."

"I would've walked."

"Which he did."  She stared at him.  "Don't hurt Xander again.  You guys may not realize how many ways we assistant types can kill you with a paperclip but you should know better."

"You're barely trained."

"And yet I have you tied to a bed, had you knocked out for over a half an hour, went through all the stuff you brought with you, nice panties by the way, pokemon really, and read all the files."  He glared.  She smirked.  "I had to learn to get around my sister a lot too.  I learned by watching Xander and learning from Spike when watching wasn't enough.  I may be nice *now* but none of us were nice back then.  We can easily revert back to Sunnydale.  Or Xander reverting back to when people clubbed each other on the head.

"Bia told me that there's blessings on Xander's aura from pantheons that have been extinct so long they're not even mythical anymore to the senior gods," she said quietly.  "They all appreciated him more than his family did.  More than my family did most of the time.  There's ones that even the remaining Titans don't remember being around.  And you just made him sad enough to stomp off."

"I'll correct myself tomorrow."

"Have a better talk with him.  He could use more people he trusts and will talk to about stuff.  Hell, you might even end up friends."  She hopped off his chest and smoothed down her shirt.  "I won't have Xander upset and I can and will take most of you out.  All I have to do is let go of the control.  Sometimes it's not a rage issue, it's a matter of self-control."  His mouth opened.  She smiled.  "And I'm a lot more dangerous than people expect me to be.  As I said, paperclips are useful sometimes."  She beamed.  "You have a better night."  She strolled off.

"Can I be let free?" he called.

"Nope.  You're a superhero now, you can get your own self free."

He huffed and struggled but the ropes were very tight.  He spotted Natasha when she walked in.  "Can you cut these?"

She tried then shook her head.  "She magicked them."  She put something on the top rope and they disappeared.  "I had someone make me a special magic absorbing amulet."  She put it back into her pocket.  "Did she threaten you?"

"She pretty well threatened everyone."

Natasha smiled.  "She is a very smart young woman."

"Who can pull a Banner on her Key powers?"

Natasha considered it.  "That does not surprise me.  She's been in critical danger too many times not to learn how.  Especially with that hell goddess wanting to bleed her."  They shared a look.  "What started this off?"

"I tried to talk to Xander about Fury's orders."

She shook her head.  "He'd never follow orders.  It's why no one's even thinking about recruiting him."

"The way she said it, he's been around longer than writing?"  Natasha shrugged.  "And been in battles most of that time?"

"Perhaps.  We would have to ask Thor."

"Would Thor even know?  He doesn't seem that close to his nephew."

Loki appeared, smirking at them.  "The little bint was right.  I do adore her for how she protects my son's heart at times."  They both had weapons in their hands.  "It won't do anything to me and I'm not the one you fought."

"Doesn't mean we won't try really hard to destroy you," Barton sneered.

Loki smirked.  "You are much like my son, only mortal."  Something flew through the door with a glow and he yelped when it stuck in his side.  "Bitch," he hissed, pulling it out.

Dawn leaned in and smiled, wiggling her fingers at him.  "Xander said to leave the scary super agents alone, Loki.  Before he had to come save them."  She walked off again.

"How dare you try to attack me."

Dawn came back and stared then cleared her throat and moved something on a necklace.  "Do we really want to get into a pissing match?"

"I was not aware you were that open to it," Natasha said.

Dawn smiled.  "None of your business.  The same as you have personal things that I don't know about, so do I."  She glared at Loki.  "Just think, if it hadn't been for Glory being so damn close I wouldn't have went looking."  He backed up slowly and carefully.  "I'm not intending to use it but I'll be damned if you threaten the family.  No one upsets my family.  I may have to accept that Buffy's going to die some year soon during a fight or a patrol but you don't touch the rest of my family."

"You are playing quite a dangerous game, young lady," Loki said.

She smiled.  "Not really.  After all, there's more than one Key in the universes, right?"  He gaped and backed up shaking his head.  "Yeah, found it when the uber yucky space soldiers brought it with them as part of a weapon they never got to use thanks to Thor.   And gee, me being down there helping remove civilians.....  It got drawn right to me.  They had *two* other Keys."  Loki swallowed and slowly shook his head again.  "Oh, yeah.  And hey, I can even access the memories they have easier since they're not the ones that created my present form.  Now, do you still want to piss off your son?"

"No," he said calmly.  "I was merely here to talk to the ones who were sent to help him with his battles."

"Liar.  But that's part of your title.  Shoo.  Go.  Now."  He left.  She looked at Natasha, putting her necklace back into place.  "None of you noticed at all that I ran and hid for a bit then started to put plans into place in case one of them went off."

"That's why Hecate backed away."

"No, she didn't realize either.  Being the Key means that I'm an interdimensional power source.  A fairly powerful one that if released can destroy creation."  Barton shuddered.  "Which is why it's so damn important that I have control and I have them cooped up.  The one that made me I can barely touch.  Those two falling down meant that they got drawn to me and I have to be in conscious control.  Though they're still hard to touch."

"What if you get knocked out and the necklaces taken?" Natasha asked.  She had clearly lost a few skills by being a pet for so long.

"You have about fifteen hours.  That's how long the shielding spell will hold without me being awake and able to add to it.  Then it starts to leak.  When it starts to leak, as long as nothing notices it, you've got about a day before I explode.  Though any energy sensor on this planet should be able to find me when I start to leak."  She shrugged then grinned.  "I have plans in place for my dangerous times.  I took what you taught me to do that."

"I'm glad you did."  She stared at the younger woman.  "That's another reason why you won't take a front-line approach," she realized.

Dawn smiled and nodded.  "Yup.  Though really, I'd never upset my mother that way.  We're going to be mourning Buffy soon enough.  We already have once but Xander brought her back with CPR."  She shrugged slightly.  "The family of any of you has to realize that fact.  It's what makes it so sucky to be family."

"Are you immortal?" Barton asked.

"No.  I'm not even close to it.  I can do spells for that but I don't want to turn demonic.  Xander would have major flashbacks to the mayor."  She looked at her other mentor again.  "Don't upset Xander.  He's my big brother and none of us in the family need that shit ever again.  Anya nearly destroyed him for a bit when she huffed off because he was injured.  He was planning on marrying her.  Going to offer her the golden apple he earned in a battle for their pantheon, all that."

"I would never date Xander, even without knowing that," Natasha said.  "I don't allow entanglements for the same reason your mother worries."

Dawn smiled.  "It sucks though.  If you don't have that, you're missing out on things.  I'd rather have the happies while I can and then miss them than not have them at all."

"Better to have loved and lost," Natasha agreed.  "I had that once."

Dawn smiled.  "Then you understand my mom a lot more than I do at times.  Especially when she turns into Buffy."  She shook her head.  "Anyway."  She smiled.  "Now that my scary portion of PMS is done for the week, let me go back to bed."  She strolled off.

The two agents shared a look.  "You trained her well," he said.  "She's a scary woman."

Natasha smiled.  "She is in many ways.  I only know three ways to kill with a paperclip."

He shook his head.  "Do we tell Coulson?"

"Yes.  I will."  She walked off, going to find his room and wake him up.  He was on the patio enjoying the night air.  "She wake you sneaking back in?"

He nodded.  "She needs to work on her stealth movement.  Especially with that belt that jingles."

"I think she does that so we don't think she's sneaking up on us."

"Could be," he agreed.

"Did you know that one dropped during the battle?"

He looked at her.  "She admitted it to me when I found her glowing green and meditating one night a few weeks ago.  We had a long talk and I went over her emergency precautions.  They are sealed in a way that no one can get to.  Stark knows because Pepper knows."

Dawn huffed from the balcony above them.  "Stark knows because I went to talk to him about dumping some of the excess I was having problems with."  They looked up at her.  "He guessed.  He pointed out he is a genius and he can make leaps of logic when he wants to.  Then he tried to talk me into engineering again."  She looked at them.  "I was making a point known, I didn't mean to scare anyone."

"You didn't," she admitted.  "You did however worry us."

"Which is why I put plans in place," Dawn said.  "I worried me.  I'm the practical one in the family."  Phil smiled at her.  "Beyond that, I'd hate to make Agent Popcorn Buddy there disappointed in me."

"Dawn, not in front of the other agents," Phil said mildly.  "They'll lose respect."

"Because they know that you're more than a robot?"

"In some ways, yes," he said.  "Competent agents don't have little sisters who work with them."

"Fine."  She smiled.  "But I get private time teasing rights."

"That's fine.  That's been yours for a while now."  She grinned.  "I'm making the popcorn next time so it has enough butter."

"Sure."  She smiled at Natasha.  "You can watch movies with us too.  I know you're super scary and that's a normal person thing but we won't nark on you dropping the scary act now and then."

"I will."  She looked at her.  "They are good plans?"

"They're very good plans.  We have a frequency reading on her powers so if they leak we have an alarm set," Phil said quietly.  "That way if she's forced into it we can find her quickly or if she's dumping it because she's beating a problem to death with it we can find her quickly."

"Tell Fury I don't need Dawn sitters anymore?" Dawn asked.

"Fat chance.  If there's that big of a danger, we'd put anyone like you or Xander into more protective custody," Phil assured her.  "Even if he'd fuss he'd still get protected."

Dawn smiled.  "We might like it if someone wanted to protect Xander.  It's been a long time since there was one."  She went back to bed.

Phil and Natasha shrugged at each other.  "I added input where she needed something technical done," he said quietly.

"That's fine.  Then I won't worry overly much about her."  She walked off, going to tell her partner that.  Barton was worried but he could calm down about her.  Though it meant Dawn was getting her training upped to the point where she would qualify as an agent.  Some day they wouldn't be hovering over her to protect her.  They did not want that day to come and her to be attacked.

***

Phil looked at Dawn during their pre-breakfast jog.  He had gotten her up for it.  He did most mornings she was on the base.  "A question came up with that new Initiative program."

"About?" she panted.

"You need more stamina work."

"I'm slowly building it.  You've only been making me jog for four months."

"I know."  He considered how to phrase it delicately.  "There was a file started with your name on it and some attempted chemical testing done on some shed hair."  She glanced at him.  "To see if you were a good match for the program to work from."

"I'm infertile," she admitted.  "The power that created me didn't allow it.  I can do a spell to change that, and I might if I decide I want kids and I find a great guy or girl some year, but no, it wouldn't.  They also can't clone me.  Though, one weird thing.  Something about gamma radiation boy means that his DNA is warped.  Like Xander's is warped but in a different way."

"They both read as semi-human," Phil realized.  She nodded.  "Would that get past it?"

"If they're good enough to manipulate it and use a dish, yes.  I couldn't carry it.  I have a very rudimentary uterus by what the docs in the infirmary found when I asked.  I swore them up and down to secrecy, which I know they can't, but they won't gossip about it.  My file lists me as a magical construct though so they were curious."

"So you did get an ultrasound?"

"CT."

He nodded.  "That makes sense.  So you'd have to do something major to fix that rudimentary problem?"

She paused, leaning down to pant.  "Yes."  She looked at him.  "Right now, I'm not even putting out eggs, there's no structure to house them or create them.  So if they wanted it they'd have to take a skin scraping or tissue sample to work from."

"Okay," he said, considering that.  "We can make note of that.  Did our doctors take one?"

"Once and I destroyed it as soon as I realized what they were doing then I told them it was dangerous to have around.  People attacked me to get that much of a sample.  They still probably don't understand why."

He nodded.  "I can add that order to your files.  The scans?"

"All electronic and the doc said he erased them once they were read.  My infirmary file has all of three injuries and nothing too personal in it beyond that I'm on the pill to control my cycle.  It can cause a bit of a power flux in me."

"Good to know."  He smiled.  "We'll figure it out."

"I shouldn't have told anyone."

He shrugged.  "Sometimes you have to let some of the secrets out so you have someone at your back."

"That's not the Sunnydale way, Phil."

"You're not in Sunnydale anymore, Dawn."

"Yeah, but if I don't live like I am there's a lot more chance of me getting pounced."

"Not really.  There's some people I trust implicitly.  Clint and Natasha are on that very short list."

"Is Fury?"

He considered it then shook his head.  "No.  I know he has to deal with bigger pictures and sometimes agents are pawns.  Overall he's good to work for but he does have his secrets and his plans."

"He's Dumbledore," she said dryly.  "I'd never let him make me into Harry or Hermione."

"You'd look bad with the bushy hair."  She grinned back.  "Seriously though, if you need it, even if they're compromised, I'd trust Natasha and Clint."

She nodded.  "I get that."

"Good.  We should finish the two miles."

"You're mean."

"Only when necessary.  You need more stamina to draw in a good man.  Real men last more than ten minutes."

She swatted him on the arm.  "I'm hoping whoever I finally end up with has skills like Xander with a tiny bit less stamina."

He laughed.  "That's learned over generations.  Most mortals aren't quite that great."

"I can take slightly lesser but maybe only two or three hours, not four and five that Anya wanted of oral sex and then another three orgasms by regular sex."  He nearly blushed.  "Yeah, she's like that."  She grinned.  "She's in New York if you wanted introduced."

"I don't have that much stamina and I can run a 10K in nearly record time."  They took off jogging again.  "Though I should probably start a file on her in case she comes onto Stark."

"I asked if he'd build her a robot to handle that for her.  I had them meet and all that when he got confused.  He did build her one and it works well.  She actually had to call off work she was so sore that first day."  He groaned and shook his head.  She grinned.  "Pepper thought it was great that she was busy and couldn't flirt with Tony again."

"I'd say."  She grinned at him and they kept on so they could attend breakfast.  They found O'Neill and Stark at breakfast going over mission weapons.  He looked at Stark.  "Did you start a file on Miss Emerson?"  Xander choked from his spot at the table.

"I did and I have surveillance gear built into that robot in case she gives it up and goes to someone like Loki for her next suitor.  Not cameras but usage tracking."

"Thank you.  I'll need it to merge with ours."  He went to the buffet table to get breakfast.

Xander looked at Tony.  "Why did you meet my ex?"

"I introduced them before Anya could try something," Dawn quipped with a grin.  "I asked him to make her something so she'd quit pining over you too."

"She was pining?" Xander asked.

"Remember that 'things were different when I was a demon' mood of hers?" Dawn asked.  Xander nodded.  "She was feeling like that about you."  He nodded, looking at his plate.  She got up to give him a hug.  "She was good but not great.  You need and deserve great."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You deserve so great that it's blinding and makes us all gag, Xander."  He patted her on the hand and grinned.  "We're keeping a watch on her in New York because she tried to have someone attack Buffy after my sister said she was a mean and cruel bitch.  Anya sent a thank you note and an assassin after her because that news got to her newest boyfriend and the higher demon thought it was odd she had dated you."  She sat down.  "Apparently the boyfriend was like a toy to her but he just let her do it for her own pleasure not his."

"Huh," Xander said then stuffed his mouth.

"I'd like to meet her," Natasha said.  "She sounds like she has good insight into many matters."

Xander nodded.  "I did hear a lot about her former job when we were together."

"What was her former job?" Stark asked.  "I mostly heard about you and her needs for sex."

"Vengeance for women scorned," Dawn said with a grin.  "I'm still wondering if the guy she turned into the only flush toilet in his tiny village in Central America is still working."  Barton choked and spluttered until Coulson pounded him on the back.  Dawn smiled.  "He had beaten his wife for not putting the seat back up."

"Someone needs midol," Stark said, staring her down.

She laughed.  "Not this week, next week I need some and I have some in my kit.  Thanks for worrying."  She smiled.  "When you go back home, can you pop an IM to Pepper about getting my new pills for me please?  The docs in the infirmary are getting scarily gropey about me for some reason."

"I can definitely do that so I don't have to wonder if your daughter and Callia will be shopping buddies," Stark said.

"Not an issue," she admitted then stuffed her mouth.  He stared at her.  "Really."

"Did we look?" Stark asked.

"Yeah, we wondered."

"Okay," he decided.  "That's a good thing to know."

"I can fix it but it'll take some work."  She ate another bite.

"Even better to know," Xander agreed.  He frowned, looking up.  "That's the shield's alarm," he muttered, stuffing his mouth and walking out.  "Huh.  We're close enough to be attacked like they are at the Mountain."  He pulled weapons and fired on the glider.  It went down in a ball of flame just outside the shields.  "O'Neill, I shot down the alien glider thingy that was trying to get into the shields."

O'Neill came jogging out.  "Where?"  Xander pointed at the column of smoke.  "Damn it."  He jogged that way, calling for backup from his team.

"Some of us are agents," Coulson called.

"Stay in case there's more," O'Neill yelled back.

"Of course."  He looked at Xander.  "A question got raised by one of the junior agents.  Am I part of your natal family or part of this house?"

"This house.  I adopted you into the Protectorate of Humanity."  He grinned.  "I'd never let my dad get another person to use as a pawn for things.  He makes sucky marriage alignments.  You might end up with Dawn."  He walked him back inside.  "O'Neill's handling the aliens.  If more show up we can shoot them to."  He sat down and got back to breakfast.  "Thanks for the extra egnlish muffins with peanut butter, Dawn."

"Welcome.  Please don't marry me off this month?"

"Nope, probably not."  He ate another bite and looked around.  He smiled while he chewed.  "Technically I could if I wanted to and needed an alignment marriage or if I wanted her protected a whole lot."  He finished that english muffin and went back to his scrambled eggs.

"He's not that mean," Bia promised with a smile.  "If Dawn needs that sort of protection we can easily shove her in a closet.  Mine's fairly large and has a link to the bathroom in it.  I'm not using hardly any bit of it so she can camp on a shelf."  Dawn giggled, nodding that was true.

"We have plans in place to shelter her," Natasha told her.

Bia grinned.  "Is it as spacious as Xander made my closet?"

"Probably with more guards."

"Well, maybe they can camp in there too.  It'd give me eye candy."  One of the junior agents moaned and ducked his head.

Dawn looked down at him.  "Mind out of the gutter, boy.  Before I let Xander use you as training aid."  He nodded and finished up.

"I'd suggest some stamina work since it's a partial free day outside of the gym," Phil ordered.  "You do need stamina, people.  Battles can go for hours."

"And if you're helping my sister with an apocalypse battle then it can go for weeks," Dawn agreed.  "Between the fighting, the running, the setting up traps...."

"That reminds me, your pit cooking and snare learning day is Tuesday," Xander said.  "It will take the place of your obstacle course."

"Thank you for sparing us that torture," one quipped.

Phil looked at Xander.  "Do you have a time limit?"

"Not for the first few weeks.  By the end they should be able to do it within a half an hour I think."

Barton looked over and shook his head.  "I can't do it in under forty-five, Xander."

Phil looked at him.  "Why?"

"There's one part that you need to find a way across or you have to jump down, cross the stream, climb back up the muddy hill without handholds, climb back up the scaffolding, and then use the zip line.  If I shoot a line across to walk over I can do it in thirty-two."

"So I'll set the limit at fifty then," Xander decided.  "For newbies that should be a good time?"  Barton nodded.  Natasha did too.  "Your last week is meant to get you through it in that time, impress the self-defense teachers so at least three say that you're ready to move on, and then prove to me that you can use a gun."  They all nodded.

"Which means you all need stamina work," Phil assured them.  They nodded and went to do that after breakfast.  "Dawn and I are up to two miles," he told Xander.  "I've been making her jog."

"Wonderful.  I hate jogging."  Dawn burst out cackling, nodding at that.  "I only run if I'm being chased.  I get plenty of exercise in other ways."

"How do you do the obstacle course?" Phil asked.

"Roque and I chase each other all over it," he said, looking at Roque, who was wobbling in.  "Long night drinking?"  Roque muttered a 'fuck yourself' and got food and coffee.  "Want to do the course with me today?"

"Only if you can take the evil shit Sheppard with us."  He inhaled his coffee. Dawn floated over the pot.  "Thanks, Short Stuff."

"Welcome, grumpy dwarf."  Roque glared at her.  She grinned.  "You are."

"I can paddle you."

"Only if you knock me out."  He lunged at her and she zapped him, making him moan and curl around his stomach and the new hard on he couldn't do anything about.  "Don't worry, I'm sure the cockring spell and the viagra spell won't counteract each other for *too* long."  She beamed.  "You have fun with trying to cure that."  She grabbed some coffee to go and strolled off.  "I'm showering then I'll be down in the gym, guys."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  He looked at Roque.  "I can't remove that.  John has more subtlety than I do so he might be able to."  Roque limped out holding himself.  "I know it's a Summers daughter thing to need laid badly enough to cure the evil influences.  I wasn't aware she had that yet."  He looked at Phil.

He shook his head.  "She hasn't."

"She's tampered with the idea but nothing from another person," Natasha agreed.  "That cures that?"

"I think it cures it in most people," Barton said.

"Joyce sent me an email asking if I could find someone nice for Buffy because her tension was driving Joyce nuts.  Maybe I'll find two."  John strolled in.  "Did you cure Roque?"

"Eased it enough that Clay could cure it for him.  Where is Dawn?"

"Needing the pool I put on Atlantis," Xander said.  Phil paused in eating, staring at him.  "That was the original intent before the tentacle monster.  Cupid said they needed one."

"Yes we did," John agreed.  "When we found it, Rodney went bright red and stomped off to hide from any water source for a while."  He sat down to eat.  "Bia, I love your cooking fingers."

"Thank you, John."  She handed him the coffee.  He grinned and dug in.  "Someone wanted to see you, Xander, and Roque on the course."

"I could use it to hone my powers."  He looked at Xander, nibbling on some bacon.

"I could use the exercise."  They nodded at each other and finished up.  Roque let our a loud bellowing yelp.  "I think Clay bit him somewhere delicate."  Barton tried not to laugh.  "Hell, those two, there's no telling," he told him.  "It's why they had their making up talk with one of them in a sex sling at a sex club."

"Aww, you went fancy for them," John said with a smile.  "I didn't hear that part, just that you had set it up."

Xander grinned.  "Roque listens better after an orgasm."

"Some of us aren't getting any," Stark complained.

"Me either," Xander said dryly.  "Bia's my consort, not my snuggle bunny or my energizer girl."  Bia blushed.  "Bia, after Anya?  I'd probably kill you in bed.  I realize this.  I need to lose some of the stamina I have.  It's why I don't work out as often."

"Having met your ex I'm wondering if you give classes in how you kept up with her," Stark said.  John spluttered.

Xander grinned.  "I had to teach her what oral sex was.  She likes toys a lot."  He sipped his soda.  "And hey, I don't sleep all that much."

"That needs to change," Phil said.  "You look tired and it's not her fault."

"No, last night I kept getting woken up by partial visions."  Phil stared at him.  "Updated things for Valhalla.  That all important one is cranked but I had the updated version."

"I heard."  He nodded.  "You all right?"

"I'm fine.  I'll take a nap after we three go at it."  Bia squeaked.  He grinned at her.  "I'd never sleep with John.  Unlike some gods I'm not into the family plan, Bia."

"Good!"

He laughed.  "I could be worse.  Remember the fourteen hundreds?"

"Please don't remind me," John complained.  "No wonder you managed to wear out Anya."

Stark looked at John then at Xander.  "What did you do then?"

"Half of Italy, Greece, France, England, and Russia," John said bluntly.  "In fifteen years."  Tony Stark gaped.

"I had gotten needy and lonely and kept getting run out of places by mad relatives," Xander complained.

"Theirs or yours?" Natasha asked.

"Mostly, mine.  Heimdall was not amused with me."

"You're the one that laid that prank that turned him green and purple for ten years," John said, buttering a biscuit.

"I know.  And Dad was bright red for most of it."  They shared a smirk.  Bia cackled.  "Odin got so pissed off that he had me hounded for a bit.  He was enjoying me being chased around until that every decade thing turned his favorite chair into a nibbling thing."

"I was listening to him talk about something while waiting to hand over something from Mom's pantheon and suddenly his eye got *really* large," John told the table.  "I thought for a minute that one was going to pop out."

"Frigg asked him what was wrong," Bia said with a wicked smirk. "He said he knew not what was wrong with his nether parts but apparently he had been cursed to be eaten in tiny bites.  They got him out of his chair, to his bedroom to look him over, because he was a bit frozen in horror, and then found the one in his seat.  Who gave you the idea for the pool?" she asked Xander.

"Roque."  He smiled.  "And then the results of the mexican fast food feast became apparent and that gas attack warped it from the nice pool to a naughty pool and then tentacles for Odin and Zeus, and then everyone else.  The vampires in Sunnydale were not amused by any means.  Strife had to make them quit acting like villagers in a bad Dracula movie."

Phil cleared his throat.  "I would have if you had been at hand and I was there.  Thankfully I was on a mission."

"Me too," Barton said.  Stark had shown him that film when another agent had brought it up.

"Sorry, guys.  The Elders all declared that every single kid of a chaos god has to power them once a decade no matter what.  We have no say in it.  It's like a really bad gas cramp that you can't get to go away no matter what.  It just comes."

"Last time it was floating, adoring disco balls," John told them.

"Before then it was singing butterflies that prompted a few hippy flashbacks," Bia agreed.  "Artemis loved the free love age.  The butterflies gave her happy memories for *weeks*.  I think she still has a few trapped in a cage in her temple."

"I'm sorry I drove Athena nuts with the Barney and other PBS songs," Xander said.  "But she had been picking on me for weeks before then."

Bia smiled and shook her head.  "She'll still sometimes hum one and then have to go do something to get it out of her head.  I haven't seen her weave that much since Greece was the majority of its own empire.  She made a twenty foot woven blanket," she told Phil.  "In three hours trying to get a Sesame Street jingle out of her head."

He nodded.  "I'd take something for that.  Or use a club."

"We'd knock you out," Barton said with a smile.

"Thank you," he assured him.  "Let me go oversee Dawn in the gym."  He left, cackling all the way down there until the other agents could see him.

"So every single chaos god's offspring has to do this?" Natasha asked.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "How many are there?"

"Sixteen of us left.  Some are more minor ones and can focus them on a group to destroy them.  Some of us can't.  I tried and it didn't work.  Though it was nice that the bastards I was focusing on got creamed by pies for sixteen weeks."

Stark stiffened. "My father wrote about that incident."

"I tried to do something worse.  I spent that whole war in France trying to free people and get things where they needed to go.  Roque was on the other side of Germany's border doing the same thing.  Kyra and a few were our lead ins since there was such a heavy occult thread and they might recognize us."

"Did you get captured?" John asked.  "I never heard one way or another."

"Yup, once.  Blew the shit up.  Escaped, took a lot of people with me.  Including Tony's father."  Tony shook his head quickly.  "Got more to free on the way once they were safely off.  Got yelled at by US generals for not being a soldier and doing the job.  I made him impotent and then sent him to be a morale helper for a weekend.  He came back up much more clear headed and created another surge that got parts of lower Europe free."

"Wow," Barton said.

Xander grinned.  "I've been in most major human conflicts in the US, Europe, England, and now and then in some of the ones on th other continents.  It's why I have titles for helping in almost all the other pantheons.  John has some in most of them too.  Roque has a good few of them but Africa always has a civil war going so he was focused closer to home a lot."

Stark smiled.  "Some day I want to have someone take a real history report from you."

"They'd never believe it."

"Not the point.  You knew a lot of historical characters that we can only guess at and been in battles that we don't know happened until someone digs something up."

Xander smiled.  "It's the duty, ya know."

"Yeah, I do.  Now."  Xander patted him on the arm.  "Why don't you wear battle armor to battles?"

"I used to wear leather armor to battles, still usually do," he admitted.  "The newer stuff is too stiff.  I have favorite medium thickness leather that works for me."

"Won't stop bullets," Barton said.

"I have shields for that unless I'm exhausted.  The stuff you guys wear is still too restrictive for me.  I can't move, fight, throw fireballs or anything in it without feeling cooped in.  That's why I ended up shirtless during the invasion, I was feeling too cooped in by using my powers."

"We'll see if there's a way around that," Stark said.  "Does silk or leather help more?"

"I can't wear silk during battles.  I sweat tons and it sticks to me.  My leather vest is usually overtop of a shirt these days.  Before I could wear it without one and have it lined with fluffy wool instead of woven material but I can't do that now."

"That stopped when the wool nearly got melted into your chest," John said.

"Yeah, it was.  The leather did melt."  Everyone was staring at him. "Fire giants.  One of them captured me to be their love slave."

John nodded.  "Odin did not listen to a single thing I said that day when they were attacking.  They were pounding in the door and I was trying to tell him that but he didn't want to hear it.  Nearly lost all the stored warriors because of it."

Xander nodded.  "When I got free I stomped them flat for all that shit."  He sipped his soda and leaned on the table.  "Odin somehow decided John had done that with Roque."

John and Xander's mother appeared.  "Son, you will marry."  He pointed at Bia.  "Hello, dear.  I didn't see you."  She kissed her on the temple.  "More pranks?"

"I'm his consort for the rest of this decade," she told her.  "Odin demanded that he marry so he married me."

John and Xander's mother stared at her son.  "Did we not hear?"

"You did hear.  You cried on her right after the twins were born, Mom."

"Oh."  She thought back.  "I don't remember that.  I wonder why."

"See if Rosenburg infected you too?" John quipped.

She smiled and kissed him on the head.  "My older son.  You should marry as well."

"No one I'm interested in right now, Mom."

"It is not good to stay single for so long.  I'm sure your brother is reaping the rewards of being married."

"No he's not," Xander quipped.  "He'd probably kill a lover in bed right now."

His mother scowled.  "Dear..."

"She's my consort, Mother.  Don't start.  Please?  Not in front of coworkers?"

She huffed.  "Fine.  Whatever.  I want grandchildren."

"I fathered two energy pregnancies," Xander said bluntly.  "Until I marry for a reason more than someone demanding it, with Bia or someone else, I'm not undoing the sterilization I have.  Since you have a long life ahead of you too, I'm sure you'll live to see that day."  She pouted.  "Yay."  His mother disappeared.  He looked at John.  "If you do marry and it's a guy, Gladriel said that she has a plan to ask Roque's mom to make one of you fertile."

"Thanks for the warning."  He got more coffee and sipped it.  "Sorry, people.  She showed up on Atlantis to hit on the Marines too."

"Never let our mother drink," Xander told them.  "Or else she'll end up on top of you and then pregnant.  Between her and Loki's idea of seducing women with liquor, I almost never drink anymore."

"That's a reasonable reason," Stark decided.  "Has she done that often?"

"We have year-old twin sisters," John said with a smile.  "Thanks to her flirting with Apollo when Xander had that power break-out.  They came from her new wine vintages."

"I came from mead," Xander quipped.  "John came from wine."

"Your mother's assistant is an elf queen?" Barton asked.

"The writer met her and named his character after her.  Cheeses her off," John said, grinning at him.  "She's a demi."

"Gladriel called Pepper to see if she wanted her to find a spot for Dawn.  Pepper waxed poetic about her taking over Tony wrangling since Pepper's the CEO now."

"She does a pretty decent job and handles the battle moments a lot easier than Pepper does," Tony admitted.

"She's had practice," Xander said.  "Which we all think sucks for her and Joyce."  Tony nodded.  "Do we have plans in place for when the slayers get turned or killed?"

"We think, statistically speaking, that Buffy would be turned and Faith killed," Tony said.

"The calling only goes through Faith," Xander said.

"So we'd be back down to one," Tony said, adding that into the mental math he'd been doing over that problem.  "That's good to know.  Any idea which one is next?"

"No.  I've felt the calling around a few girls.  I'll probably feel it when it happens.  Do we have a plan for when she's vamped?"

Tony stared at him.  "I'd never suggest you to go stake her."

"It's ...  Kind of almost my duty as her friend."

"Yeah, I remember during the trial, kid.  Fury can go stake her."

"She might be good enough to turn him.  She's good enough to knock him down in sparring and she'll be stronger and faster then."

Tony considered it.  "Then we'll find stake shooters.  I've already got one in testing."  Xander grinned.  "I updated your plans for the holy water grenades too.  They're much more efficient and less likely to bring the building down on your head."

"That could help."

"Also won't blow up any plans or plots they have," Tony agreed, smiling at him.  "Let us worry about some of that or the remains of the Council trying to reform."

"I could've sworn O'Neill was going to get the library."

"No room, or so Fury said.  It's in one of the major headquarters instead of the hell carrier."  Xander nodded at that.  "So are the book nerds he swears up and down creep him out because they stare like he's a talking book."

"I met one of those.  They are a bit creepy," Barton said, leaning on the table.  "I know you're friends with them, Xander, but no one would expect you to take out a friend."

"It's kind of the Sunnydale team way," Xander said.  "That's how I jumped into fighting this life, back when I was just an immortal demigod."  Barton slumped.  "I swore to Buffy she'd never have to face taking out one of us.  She didn't handle having to take out Angelus too well when he lost his soul.  She hates like hell that I lied to her to get her to do it.  If I had a way I would've removed him but I didn't have the time to plan it and I had about a billion things I was handling behind her back because she couldn't handle it right then.  It's really bad when your boyfriend loses his soul and starts to torture people and fish."

"Fish?" Barton asked.

Xander waved a hand.  "It's how he taunted Willow he was stalking us.  Her fish were strung up and left on her pillow.  Giles' girlfriend was killed and left on his pillow."  Tony winced.  "I was kind of doing all the patrols while she was sick and things.  Or else I would've taken him out at the hospital.  Too many witnesses though and the girls all thought I was *normal* by then.  In the end, it's what made Buffy run away for six months."

"Still, friends would help," Tony said.  "Fury could easily do it for you."

"Fury and Buffy sparred once," John said.  "Right after she gave birth.  She said she needed to prove she could handle herself in a real battle and Captain America flat out refused to spar with her because it'd only been a week since she'd been operated on.  So Fury did.  Fury lasted a while, Buffy was still pretty weak, but she did win.  Xander and I watched it to make sure she wasn't pushing herself too hard.  She was exhausted but happy and we both made sure she didn't go patrol for a few more days by telling Giles about the sparring match and how long it lasted."

"I've seen her spar with him before," Tony admitted.  "And win a few times but not every time."

"Think about it.  She's already enhanced by the slayer calling.  Vamps are ten times faster and stronger than when they were alive," Xander said with a small shrug.

"So it'll probably need to be before she gets up or a weapon," Stark said.

"And if she's turned by another species of vampire than the usual, a stake might not work.  We're probably going to have to behead," Xander said quietly.  "There's two species that doesn't work on.  Both have been noted in Cleveland but they're not the biggest subgroup right now."

"What kills them?" Barton asked.

"Dead man's blood and silver," John said.  "I actually temped in as a watcher a few decades back."  Barton grinned at him.  "Xander was off fighting with Roque to help him."

"Damn but we hated the civil war problems," he agreed.  He rubbed his face with his hands.  "I don't want to make plans but I know it's dumb not to."

"That's why we're doing it for you behind your back," Tony quipped.

"I appreciate that.  How many plans does he have in case I lose it?"

"He's going to remake the hulk cell for you," Barton said.

"That won't kill me, I learned how to use my powers to teleport."  They shared a look.  "By the way, she's done worse when people have upset her.  That was probably a friendly warning."

"You heard?"

"No, not all of it.  That she did it, yeah.  She has not learned subtle yet and the alarms around the valley track her glowiness."  Barton winced.  "Yeah, I noticed."

"We apparently didn't," Tony said.

Xander looked at him.  "She was probably afraid of the same thing that nearly happened before.  She's not sure Fury won't try a more subtle NID sort of plan."

"He probably wouldn't.  They are looking for weapons."

"And the last ones were wanting to breed the next generation of weapons," Xander countered.  "They tried like hell to get a sample from my blood and couldn't manage it."

"Do we think they have remaining samples?" Barton asked.

"Has anyone went in to clean up the mess?" John asked.  They both shook their heads.  "Then yeah, they know where the backup area is.  If the government was cleaning it up, it'd depend on the clean up team.  If they haven't touched the wreckage at all they know where the backup files and things are."  He looked at his brother.  "Any idea if they had more of mine than the NID had?"

"No clue.  I got caught sneaking in.  They had power sensors.  I would've made it if they didn't have a few of us turned."  Barton shuddered, shrinking down some.  "You are not responsible for what you do when you're under mind control.  That's why it's called mind control.  No matter how pissed you get at yourself over it."  He nodded he knew that.  "But the knowledge still eats you, I know."  He slumped and looked at John.  "I'm still trying to find who sponsored it."

"Rodney's been looking into that.  I haven't heard a report yet."

"When you do?"

"I'll tell you.  It's possible it's not just the US."

"No I can pretty well guarantee the UK is," Xander agreed.  "They're feeling left behind.  All they can claim is a few notable extended capability humans and a link to the slayer lineage."

"Well, the US does have the environmental decay that can lead to mutations," John quipped.

"And most of the demis living are here or in mainland Europe somewhere," he countered.  "Which means they pout about that.  Even their own ancestors don't live there."

"London's really crowded and some parts are still really nasty from the industrial revolution," John complained.  Xander shrugged.  "I know.  That's the usual reason."  He considered it.  "I used to have a backup house there."

"I haven't had a backup house this life at all," Xander admitted.  "When I realized I was on the hellmouth I was pretty sure I might not make it far enough along."  He rubbed over his fake eye.  "Anyway," he decided.  "Enough depressing stuff.  Go wake up Roque?"

"No way in hell."  Xander looked that way and suddenly Clay was shouting about ice.  "He's going to thump you for that."  John finished his coffee.  Roque was stomping back over.  "Want to go work out now or is your mate still needing your physical training skills?"

"He's getting rewarmed in the shower," he said dryly, swatting Xander on the head.  "C'mon, slowpoke."

"Me?  Slow?"  He disappeared to the course to warm up.

"Great, it's going to be one of those sparring matches," John said dryly.  He walked out with Roque, both going to calm Xander down.  He was still bouncy some days.  They really need to get him laid.

Barton looked at Tony since they were the last in there.  "What trial?"

"Rosenburg's that got her sentenced for the explosion in Sunnydale."

"Got that file?"

"At home."  Barton nodded and they went to watch the sparring.  The junior agents were all watching.  The boys were randomly popping around but Xander had laid a few traps that sprung fireballs at John.  John was swearing about them following him when he popped in and then left again.  Roque got one from John that made him yelp.  Xander was cackling.  "Do it for real," Tony called.  "Show us how you guys do the course."

They shrugged and attacked then flashed out to move behind or around each other.  The sparring session was brutal.  Roque was bleeding from a few cuts.  Xander and John both had ones on their cheeks from Roque's knives.  Xander had started with a knife and moved to a staff.  John was working with a staff weapon instead of a wooden staff.  Xander was the least technical and the best at defeating an attack by moving and then getting them.

Barton whistled.  "I want to be able to disappear like that."

"Me too," Tony agreed.

"I can tell you how to find the stash of ambrosia for mortals," John quipped.  He flashed out to get Xander.  He and Roque were going to get him this time.  Xander appeared, disappeared, got pounced when he appeared, wiggled free, disappeared, and reappeared with a crossbow that got shot at both of them.  "No fair," John complained.  "We're not using firing weapons."  Xander grinned and wiggled his fingers.  John growled and let himself drop into real battle mode, flashing after Xander.  Roque was nearly there and the next hit from John got him there.  They could send Xander into his temperish spot easily enough.  Then it was really on.

The junior agents were gaping in awe.  "Can Thor do that?" one asked Coulson, who shook his head.  "Are we sure?"

"His powers don't lend to teleporting," he said quietly.

"I think I found a religion I can stand," Barton said quietly.  Stark nodded he had too.  Finally it came down to a John/Xander battle, Roque being knocked out on the ground beside the stream - his head had hit the climbing structure on the way down.  John and Xander were grappling.  They were shirtless now and sweaty.  It was a good show.  Then John hip threw Xander and made him whine in pain.  "Truce?" Barton called.  John looked at him.  "If he's that injured, he'll need medical and I'm told he only gets that on your city."  He grinned.

"He does, yeah."  He helped Xander up.  "Truce?"

"Fine, you win.  This time."

John hugged him.  "Thanks, baby brother."

"I'm not that much younger!" he complained, cracking a few agents up.  They went to check on Roque, who Dawn and Bia were handling.  Roque was groaning and sitting up.  Dawn was doing a healing spell.  Roque finally shook the ladies off him and stood up with help from Bia.  He trudged off to let Clay soothe his aches.

"Want the lego ship?" Dawn called with a grin.  "It made Xander calm down after the battle in LA."

"I've got the toy he wants, Dawn," Clay quipped.  She cackled and bounced off.

"Right now I just want a massage and a shower," Roque complained.  "I'll consider playing with your toys later."

"I'm all for the shower idea," John decided, stretching his back.  "I could use one.  I'm sweaty."

"Yes, you are," Bia assured him with a smile.  He blushed and walked off.  "Xander?"

"I'm fine.  I'll go dip in the pond or something."  She nodded and let them get back to whatever.

Coulson nodded.  "You all need that sort of stamina," he decided after checking his watch.

"But they're Gods!" one of the junior agents complained.

Coulson looked at him.  "I didn't say the powers.  I said the stamina."

"Battles can go for hours," Dawn agreed.

"Some of us don't want to be Avengers, we want to be good agents."

"SHIELD agents back up the Avengers," Coulson said simply.  "You have to be good enough to last through the battle by taking up a defensive position or by removing civilians."  The agent slumped.

Dawn stared at the group.  "Phil, permission?"

He stared at her for a second.  "Not graduation."

She smiled.  "They need the truth."

"They do but they can't handle that yet."

She waved a hand.  "That's why they're in training.  To teach them to handle it."

"Fine," he decided.  "Report to the barracks for a battle movie."

"What?" one demanded.

Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, staring at them.  "Guys, my sister started to save humanity at fifteen when she suddenly got a destiny poke and a brain download.  Then a few months later she lost the weird old guy who was training her to use the brain download's contents by a master vampire that was sending her weird dreams about braiding her hair with ribbons."

"Was he related to Druscila?" Phil asked.  "I wondered when I read that."

"No, that was just his creepy come to me thing."  She shrugged.  "You guys don't near measure up to what my sister does.  Some of you need to because you're probably going to be helping in Cleveland and you'd better thank every God that Sunnydale's shut down.  Now, let's go have a movie night."  She waved a hand.  They trudged that way.

Coulson followed.  He uploaded the file from the archives.  "Be aware that at this time, Alexander did not have any powers, he was an unpowered demigod.  The blonde is Dawn's sister.  She is the senior slayer.  This is their graduation so they were all seventeen and eighteen."  He started it and got out of the way, going to talk to Dawn, who was talking with her sister.  "Someone called?" he guessed.

She nodded. "Something about protocol when you're pulling things out of the archive."

"There is."

"Why are you showing them graduation?" Buffy asked.

"Because they needed the reality," Dawn said.

"If you're fighting I'm going to come kill your dumb assistant ass," Buffy warned.  "Mom does not need that."

"I'm only training for self defense and defense if I get trapped in the middle of something so I can clear people, Buffy.  What you should have been doing all along."

"Whatever.  You're normal."

"Please!  There's only *one* of me," she said dryly.  "Unlike you."

She grumbled something impolite.  "Whatever."

"Beyond that, not really normal.  You always considered Willow better and special for her magic."

"We don't want you doing magic."

"Bite me.  Everyone's damn scared I'll turn into Rosenburg but I'll be damned and we have plans in place in case I do start to slip."

"Good!  Because you'd scare me, Dawn."

"I have control.  Conscious, good, effective control."

"Good!" Buffy repeated.  "I like that even if I don't like you doing magic or getting anywhere near the battle stuff."  She huffed.  "Are there plans in place in case I get turned?"

"Yes," Phil said.

"You've already told Xander?"

"It won't be him.  None of us would make him do that, Summers."

"Xander promised me," she said firmly.  "It's his job to handle anyone on the team that goes rogue.  That way I don't have to try to handle it myself ever again."

"We'd do it so he didn't have to have it on his conscience," he said.

"No.  It's Xander's job.  Promise me, Dawn."

"He knows," she assured him.  "They were talking about that over breakfast in case you got turned into something weirder than a vampire."

She sighed.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."

"We can spare him that pain," Phil said.

"I'd take all of your people out and then get happy.  I trust Xander will end me if he has to, even if he has to end himself too," Buffy said simply.  "You guys are nice and all but the world needs a lot more of you.  Xander can do it.  He's got super skills he's still hiding."

"Then I'll make that note in the official plans," Phil decided.  Buffy sighed in relief.  "We're sending you a few agents soon."

"Do you guys have any updates?"

"I sent one yesterday to your email, Summers."

"I have an email?  Bob, do I have an email?  Why didn't you tell me, I could've signed up for cute cat pictures and stuff!  How long have I had an email?"  Phil rolled his eyes.  Dawn was shaking her head but smiling.  "Oh, there it is.  Thanks, Bob.  Agent Phil, Bob is pretty handy even being vamped and having every limb but one tied to the chair so he can't nibble on me."

"Going to turn him into Spike?" Dawn quipped.  "There's no Dru there to drive him batty."

"Not hardly.  Though saw her recently.  Angel swears up and down she's dead but nope."

"Figures," Dawn agreed.  She looked in there at the screaming.  "It's not that bad.  She faced it in person!  It's only a film, dudes!"  She shook her head.  "Trainee agents," she told the phone.

"Yay.  Am I getting them?  I can warp a few good, hotty agents into liking the hunting lifestyle if you send them to me."

"We'll see about them being cute," Phil said dryly.  "But you're getting a few a month on a rotating schedule and I'll have Agent Decker replaced."

"But he's handy," she said.

"I'll let you keep him."

"Cool!  Hey, Bob, wanna learn why a slayer's a vampire's best girlfriend?"

"Eww," Dawn said then hung up.  She put the phone back in her pocket.  "I almost feel sorry for the agents."

"So do I.  Especially for Agent Decker."  He sent that text back to Maria Hill for Fury.  They walked over to sit outside.  They had both seen the graduation battle's film.  He looked at her.  "Someone suggested you were getting less than brotherly feelings for me," he said quietly.

She giggled.  "Not quite.  You're a roadmap, a great big sign of a good boy, but I figure you like them wild so you can calm them down or really uptight so you can loosen them.  That and you're too old for me.  Unlike my sister, I don't need to date that far over my age.  I asked Natasha to find me one that was about my age."

He smiled.  "I do have good qualities.  I've never had complaints from any former girlfriends outside of the hours I work."

She gave him a shoulder nudge.  "Have you asked Agent Hill out?"

"No, I haven't.  I don't think she has a preference beyond asexual."

"Hmm.  I thought I caught her staring."  He blushed but shook his head.  "Maybe you should try.  Have dinner in the mess one night as a sneaky date?"

"I might if I find out she's interested."  He smirked at her.  "Got your eye on anyone I need to correct the ideas of?"

"No.  I'm not sure if I want to.  There's some...issues that might come up."

"Any agent in SHIELD would easily ignore the protection marks."

"True.  That goes against the whole college thing though."

He smiled.  "Yale is a great school."

"It's too far away to work for Stark part-time, and he said I can as long as I keep my grades up."

"True, but it's safe.  It's prestigious.  It'd get you out of the fighting for a bit."

She looked at him.  "But that's not what I want.  I want to help in whatever way I can.  I like working for Tony.  I fit in there well, I've made myself a good spot.  Until they run me off I want to stay there.  Which means NYU is the better option."

"There's a decent enough private school in town or Sarah Lawrence is nearby."

"I never applied to Sarah Lawrence.  I don't really dig their whole lesbian empowerment thing at times.  And I've been to that private college's campus.  Something there was giving me the wiggins."

"Any idea what?"

"Yeah, the wormhole research in the science building.  It felt way too comfy to the hellmouth."  She kicked her feet.  "I like NYU even though it's not as prestigious."

"Being hired later on could matter on your college choice.  Also remember you can pop around for work."

"Can't.  Yale's got protections on it to prevent any magic anywhere near the campus.  They're ancient.  Even if it was an emergency to get away I couldn't.  Which is why they had a nature witch killed there a few years back."  He nodded he understood that.  "Beyond that, Yale is *safe*.  There's nothing to do.  All the clubs are bars.  There's very few cultural things to go to that aren't on the campus.  There's nothing there that I can find that I'd want to hang out at."

"You can find one."

"I don't want to find one, Phil.  I found a few good ones in New York, including a club I can dick tease in whenever I'm in that mood.  I found safe places, I know my way around, I can pop off if I need to, and I know the emergency procedures there.  Yale was...  Yale was like vanilla pudding.  It's nice and all but has no flavor.  NYU has flavor and little crunchy stuff sprinkled in it from the muggers and other assorted jackasses in the darker side of life."

"I get that," he agreed.  "It's ultimately your choice but I would talk to Pepper about it.  Because if for some reason you need to change jobs, NYU might be counted against you where Yale wouldn't be."

She looked at him.  "The years of work should counter that."

"It should," he agreed.  "Plus you'd be allowed to put you worked as an assistant part time at a classified project that was related to your other job."

"I listed that on my college application and they called up to see what sort of game I was playing.  I was with Pepper, who told her it was a classified project in conjunction with Stark Enterprises and gave me a really dirty look."

"I'll look it over, make sure it's stated in a way that doesn't look too odd."  He smiled at her.  "You should start thinking about dating too."

"I am thinking.  I'm thinking a bit too often about guys," she admitted.  "That's one of those things I'm kind of worried about.  If it's a normal guy I'll have to freak him out with the Key stuff so he understands that the magical protections around my apartment are because I don't want to blow everyone up if I get happy that first time."

Xander walked past.  "You can hire an escort to teach you for all we care, Dawn.  Even Joyce said that."  He looked at her.  "Date an agent, date a nice boy that's not an agent, date a few nice girls, whatever, just be safe when you do it.  Because you needing antibiotics from a date means that I'm going to kill their dumb asses then marry you off."  He turned and went into the barracks.  "I heard the prayers.  What?"  They pointed.  He looked then at them.  "Not terribly bad considering I only had the jocks to plan with and had to do it the night before because Giles forgot that we'd have family and spectators there."  They slumped.  "I also built the bombs."  He smiled.  "Any other questions."  They shook their heads.

Barton slowly raised his hand.  "What's the chances we'll run into another of these?"

"There's multiple ways to ascend.  He took the hundred year version to be the biggest demon worm he could be.  Are there others with plans?  Probably.  I have no idea.  I haven't been tracking them.  Frankly, we'll deal with them when they pop onto the radar instead of trying to stop them beforehand.  Also, their last hundred days as a mortal they can't be killed."  He walked off.  He stopped to look at Phil.  "You may be having problems next week."  He walked off again.

"Battle?" he asked.

"No, not really.  Just got sent some information that I'm looking over and getting pissed off at."

"Thanks for the head's up," he said.  "Let me know when you do, Xander."

"Can do.  Dawn, if you want to get laid to see what it's like, go for it.  However you want, just be careful.  And don't date the guy that Barton's going to set you up with.  He's going to try to implicate you when he's busted for drugs by putting them in your purse."

"Okay," she said, nodding some.  "I can do that."

"Thanks."  He disappeared, going to talk to someone about that information they had just prayed.

She looked at Phil.  "I'm not one to get it in the back room of the club or in the car."

"Good," he said.  "Maybe I can ask a few commandos I know."

"I'd hate to rate them against Riley."

"Finn is a piss poor commando, Dawn.  They'd be superior in every way against him going to feed vampires for the adrenaline rush."

"Yeah, I guess most of them would be," she agreed.  "Though Buffy said she ran into one hunting down a former teammate and he was pathetic.  Apparently they have Riley's people commando shots that gave them stamina and extra length."

"Not likely.  There's no known shot for that.  Or else SHIELD would have the patent to it so we wouldn't worry about funding."  She cackled, batting him on the arm.  "Are you sure you'd rather try it than date?"

"No, I'd rather date but dating seems to get complicated by people who want to snatch my pretty ass.  Or mess it up."

"You'll find someone good.  You're only eighteen.  You're still in the statistical timeframe of normal for virginity and dating slowly."

"She could try you," one of the agents said from the doorway.  "That really happened?"

Dawn looked at him.  "Yes, that was their graduation."  She smirked.  "And I'd take Phil up on your offer but I'm not into anyone that much older than I am.  I'm sure he's great at it.  I'm pretty darn certain that he's got all that and can measure up heavily with porn stars from what I've heard in the rumors around the hell carrier."  Phil was blushing.  "Even with the rumors of him being the best lay on the ship doesn't mean I'm going to go for the guy who's like my big brother."  The agent was bright red.  "You seriously need to get over it, dude."  She looked him over.  "You've got no reason to brag or even hope to brag so just accept it, learn it like a new skill so no one has to complain or ask if you're in there yet, oral sex is supposed to make up for that if you're wondering, and then maybe you can get your own girlfriend."  He stomped back inside.

"Many women think so but men expect it more than women do," Natasha said from behind them.

Dawn grinned at her.  "Why would I date a guy who couldn't or wouldn't reciprocate?  And how do you end a gag reflex?"

"There's a few ways," she admitted.  "I haven't had one since before I was your age.  I'll ask a few of the male agents for tips for you."  She strolled off to talk to the panicking newbies.  She walked in.  "Critique the battle plans," she ordered.  Most of them settled down and quit praying for it to never happen again.  "We have three others trying it.  Two in Europe and one here in the US in Chicago."  They stared at her.  She smirked.  "They won't be up for another three years and the ones in Europe are due in about ten."  They muttered more prayers about being out of those fights but did the critique.

Barton looked at her.  "Alexander wasn't sure."

"He has more important things to worry about."  He nodded.  "Anything to add as a senior agent?"

He smiled.  "Alexander said he only had their team and the jocks, that he had to replan the night before because he had been too busy.  I probably would've flanked them a bit more tightly but overall it seems he put them where they had the best chance of surviving.  I'm shocked he only lost that few."

She nodded.  "So was he I believe."  The agents were staring at her.  She stared back.  They went back to their critiques.

One agent raised his hand.  "I've heard spring apocalypses mentioned.  Are they always about that bad?"

"It depends on the year," Dawn said as she and Phil walked in.  "The year after that they had to take down a Special Ops project that was torturing demons to figure them out.  Their ultimate plan was to put them in your jobs."  Barton shook his head quickly.  "And the head scientist was creating her own Frankenstein's Monster from spare demon and soldier parts.  He killed her though and the military took firmer control.  The year after that was Glory, the hell goddess.  Then a bunch of NID shit, including my niece.  Some attacks, the invasion got moved up from when they were planning in about five years later than it happened.  This last fall apocalypse wasn't *too* bad.  Bit creepy with the guy creating so many zombies out of living people in Florida that we had to handle and then cover up."  She looked at Phil.

"I'm glad I heard that lemon juice takes out zombie smell," he said.

"Thank you for telling my sister.  She was about to shave herself bald."  She looked at them.  "As I said earlier, my sister got poked with the destiny to be a slayer at fifteen.  She came to Sunnydale shortly after her sixteenth birthday."  They slumped and nodded.  "If we can do it as teenagers, you should be good enough to help us.  Especially as SHIELD agents.

"Because you guys not only have to back up apocalypse battles with the slayers if necessary, you'd have to be battles like New York.  Phil was and he was dead that morning."  She stopped herself from shuddering.  "This is the yardstick you have to measure up to, people, and it's set really high.  Even the regular field agents have to measure up to the same stick he does."  She walked off rubbing her arms.

Phil looked at the group.  "The official standards are set in the handbook," he said quietly.  "Learn them and live up to them or else we can transfer you to another agency so we have people who we know we can work with there."  They all nodded, going back to their notes.  He followed Dawn.  It's clear what had upset her.  She was still shaking.  He patted her on the shoulder, making her flinch.  "I did get better thanks to you, Tara, Xander, and even Willow," he said quietly.

"I could've lost you and I'm so not into losing more people I like," she said quietly.

"That is the nature of the job."

She snorted.  "Don't remind me.  If Xander hadn't forced Angel to bring him to where Buffy was dead, she'd still be dead."  He squeezed her shoulder and she leaned against his side.  "Don't get dead again, Phil.  Or else I'll bring you back as a puppy or something."  He laughed but she was serious.  "I will.  A little yappy dog."

"I'm sure you'd be a great pet owner.  You took good care of Natasha."  She slightly relaxed.  "I try as hard as I can every single day.  Even that day.  Some days none of us can avoid things."

"I know."  She gave him a quick hug and a tight squeeze.  "Just don't die again until I'm older.  Okay?"  He nodded.  She walked off.

He let her, she needed some thinking time and perhaps some ice cream time.  He went back to dealing with the agents who had not a clue what the reality was.  "I think I'll suggest that we reinstate the mandatory 10K run per year rule," he told Natasha.

"That's very mean," she said but she was slightly smiling.  "I don't think many of these ones can run a full 10K, much less a marathon."

"Yes but they need to be able to," he pointed out.  "The ones helping from the ground in New York certainly needed that sort of stamina and that battle only lasted a few hours."

She nodded.  "Even I was exhausted."

"Me too and I had the least strenuous spot," Barton said from his corner seat.  "That special ops project the same one that tried to get restarted?"

"Yes," Phil said.  "They weren't as bad this time.  Much more humane by what I've seen."  Barton grimaced.  "Did you hear about Spike?"

"Some," he admitted.  "I saw the file."

"They did the chip."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.

"It was to test it before it went into soldiers."

"Fuck them," he said.

"Many had that sentiment," Natasha agreed.  "I'd expect they were planned for special use soldiers, like assassins?"  Coulson shook his head.  "Really?"

"They used Army personnel because the Marines would've killed them when they learned it was for them.  Someone asked the higher ups during the tribunal."

One of the less capable junior agents raised his hand.  "Should we learn about them in case they're restarted, sirs?"

Coulson considered it.  "They did restart and were just ended."  He pulled up those files, having to bypass the security clearance rating.  Natasha put in a password she had ...found lying around.  That worked and he let them look over those files and the tapes they had stored.  Barton lasted about an hour then had to leave.  Natasha left quickly after that because the next tape was gruesome.  Coulson wasn't watching or listening.  He knew better.  He had already seen them.  Dawn strolled in and got onto an online file storage site and pulled up more files.  "That's not very secure," he said quietly.

"Willow hacked."  She grinned and strolled off again.  "Behind that I pulled up Glory just in case something like that shows up."  She paused then came back.  "Have we realized that Loki, ours, is still dating the VP and it's about time for him to decide if he's running for office?"

Coulson blinked.  "I had not thought of the issue," he admitted, sending that to Fury directly.  And to Alexander.  He got back a 'yup, he'll try' from the God and a bit of a complaint from Fury about it being his day off.  "They'll figure it out, Dawn.  Thank you for thinking of that."

She grinned.  "With your luck he'd try to breed you too."  He nodded that was true since Loki had praised his loyalty to his son once.  "Do you think he wants grandkids with the way he went off on the NID when they tried that shit?"

He quirked an eyebrow up.  "Probably to make future alignments with.  At that time, his son was a lot less powerful."

"But now Xander could remove them from the Norse lineage completely," she said.  "Just put whatever spawn he has into the local house.  He's already put Callia in there to protect her."

Loki appeared, glaring at her.  "I would rather have a grandchild that I could teach to follow in my glorious footsteps, Miss Summers.  Not ones to pawn off on others so they must put up with my son's hyperactivity disorder during their marriage.  My son's offspring would probably destroy this world better than I ever could."

"I heard that," Xander's voice floated out.  "Just think, the Initiative fuckers were trying too, Dad."

Loki looked up.  "You destroyed them without mercy, my son."

"Not hardly."

"Excuse me?" Dawn and Loki asked, both looking up.

"Alexander, can I have that file?" Coulson asked.

"In a few."  His voice cut off abruptly.

Loki got that sinking feeling.  "They can't use you, correct?"

"No, not with how I was born.  I'd have to do some corrective work," she admitted.

"You're a trannie?  You can't tell," one of the junior agents quipped.

"No!" she snorted.  "I'm born fully female but not with a functioning uterus, thank you."  He shrank down.  "I can correct it magically."

"Does Tara have that same sort of problem?  Is it magical in nature?"

"No.  Hers is her parents.  Who I'm going to torture if I run into them.  Even if she does scowl at me."

"Her father's in jail for spousal abuse and the death of his first wife from said abuse," Phil said simply.

Dawn squealed and hugged him.  "Thank you for taking care of him for her."

"Welcome.  And no hugging while I'm with agents, Dawn."

She looked at them.  "You guys all know I hug, right?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Because if you pick on Phil, being the next pony ride is the least of your worries."  She looked at one.  "Isn't that right, Draco?"  He blanched and slid down in his seat.  She smiled at Loki.  "You'd make such a cute ferret too."  He huffed but left.

Bia leaned in and smiled at her.  "Instead of the grandparent warping them, we'd load them up on sugar and send them to him for a few hours."  She beamed and disappeared.

Coulson shook his head.  "I'm sure they'd have fun watching the kid destroy Valhalla by bouncing it to death."  He rubbed the back of his neck.

She smiled.  "All those calm, meditative Hindu gods?" she suggested.

He looked at her.  "Find some ice cream to take the bad ideas away, Summers," he ordered.

She grinned.  "I don't think that'll work this time.  Apparently I'm picking up Buffy's bad idea time."  She strolled off twitching her butt a bit since the junior agents were all staring anyway.

"She's taking fix ups," Coulson said.  "They have to be decent and they're not getting anywhere near first base for ten dates."

"My little brother's nineteen and in the army.  I'll see if he wants introduced," one said.  "Before she gives Stark some really bad ideas."

Coulson put the tentacle monster video up.  "That's Alexander's sort of bad idea when he's forced to power his father's chaos energies for a decade."  They all watched and most of them were clutching their dicks and bending down to make sure they weren't cut the same way they were taking down the tentacles.  John started to walk in then turned and walked back out.  "Sorry," he called.

"We all got royally drunk that night.  Roque had to go get more booze for us since we ran out of Radek's hooch," John called back.

"Yes, this happened on that classified project that just got leaked by Colonel Fury," Phil said smugly.  "Where his brother had to handle it."  The agents cheered when the warrior women showed up, even if they were wincing at the arrows through the dick looking tentacles.  "Sadly, this is a SHIELD problem as well."  He smirked.  "We only got two of them and Director Fury took a flamethrower to them when he heard that they were attacking things because Captain American and Mr. Stark were both hiding from them as high up as they could get."

"Did the agents get reprimanded for hiding?" one asked.

Coulson nodded.  "Even Captain America did.  Stark got a second one for bringing in ten strippers to help the drunk agents forget they had seen the tentacles."

"Where were you, sir?" one asked.

"On a mission with Barton."

They settled in to guard their man parts and finish taking notes.  SHIELD expected a lot from their agents and most of them were doubting they could handle it at the moment.

"Regular agents get to shoot at things trying to take out humanity," Coulson said.  "Special agents get to train to take a place on the Avengers some day."  They relaxed and decided they could handle the lesser duties.  Any agent good enough to be an Avenger had to be extra special and slightly insane.

***

Xander flashed in front of someone getting huffy.  "What?" he asked.  "You yelled?" he prompted when O'Neill stared.

"Where's Colonel Sheppard?"

"Relaxing.  His whole team is visiting my house to help with some training.  You were there the other day, General."

"Still?" he demanded.

"Yeah.  John said you hadn't recalled him and when he tried to get sent back General Landry blocked it.  He's waiting on orders.  He said he sent you an email through McKay."

O'Neill looked at his assistant, who got into his email.  "I don't have that."

Xander looked then at him.  "Does that shock you since there's demon cocksuckers who hate the city?" he asked bluntly.  The reporters gasped.  He looked at them.  "Hi."  He smiled.  He looked at O'Neill again.  "If he's that mean, I'm taking the warriors with me."

"They're on leave right now," he said.  "Does Thor need them?"

"Don't know.  I'd have to ask."  Thor appeared, looking a bit shocked since he was holding a plate.  "Quick question.  Do you need the warriors we leant to O'Neill?"

"I would not mind having them around.  Many agents I work with daily are a bit strange about me still."

"Cool."  He sent him back and put a mug of mead next to his plate.  Xander grinned.  "I'll check with the head guy for that."

"Thanks.  Tell Sheppard to call me?"  Xander looked up and then O'Neill's phone rang.  "Thank you.  Dismissed, Harris, before you cause a freak out."

"Sure but I know it'd be lust because I'm so pretty."  He smirked and left.  He really did have to stop that new plan.  He got a very bad idea.  He spread it to the family to see if they'd like to help.

***

Dawn looked up.  "Oh hell no, Xander!  Do not pull one of your demented spawn from another realm to show those who want you to have kids what they'd be like!  Please, Goddess, don't do that!"

Roque looked over at her.  "What?"

"Xander just suggested he go to the Xander convention coming up and babysit for a while so they could see how his kids would turn out."

"Fuck no!" Roque shouted.  "No way in hell, Xander!  I don't feel like helping you destroy everyone that way!"

Xander appeared.  "I can ask the Sividia me to appear deaged for a bit," he offered with a sweet grin.  "He'd love that prank."

"Go get laid," Roque ordered with a point.  "Right the hell now!"

"If they catch me with Bia they'll try to name us mates," he said with a grin.  "Can't do that."  He cackled.

Coulson leaned out of the barracks.  "Like with Stark, I can taze you too, Xander.  It might take a higher hit to knock you out but I can manage I'm sure."

"I'd have to add to it," Dawn said.  "Bia, he's got a really horrible idea."

"I heard," she called.  "Xander, honey, go find a whorehouse please?  Or jump Stark, something?"

He pouted.  "But it'd stop that plan."

"What plan?" Clay demanded.  "You already stopped the Initiative people's plans."  Xander shook his head.  "Shit.  Jensen!"

"Yup?" he called, flying closer.  "What's up?"

"Someone has a new plan to take the place of the Initiative's breeding program," Xander said with a grin.

Jensen landed and changed.  "Let me go hack that so you can turn over the files."

"I was going to bring a few of my kids from other realms," Xander offered.  "That way they'd stop it of their own free will and not restart it.  Or maybe a little me.  There's a few that got deaged."

"Xander, I hate to agree with the stuffed colonel there, but go find a whorehouse," Dawn ordered.  "Please!  Before I have to tell Mom so she won't get attached."

"But...." he started.

Roque sent him to the nearest demi so they could help him unwind.  He was sure Ezra knew where the better working girls were in his city of choice.  He looked at Clay.  "What's really scary is that they literally held a Xander convention.  Over three hundred of them in one spot."  Clay whimpered a tiny little sound.  "Yeah!  Exactly."

Dawn grinned.  "You should've heard about hormone Xander.  He's a high priest for Ares, Strife, and Cupid."  Roque gave her a horrified look.  "Their realm has people who have really high pheromone output.  It makes them super horny and often gets them kidnaped or presents from people who want to own them like a special pet.  Then again, he had a few CSI hims and one set of CSI hims that also designed weapons.  Or the one that was the president."

"I heard about that one," Roque complained.  He walked off rubbing his forehead.  "Twin Xanders are evil."

"They don't hold that convention here, right?" Clay asked.

"No, they pick a realm that touches a lot of places and then close it off for a few days."  She grinned.

"Thank you, God!" Clay shouted.  He followed his mate to calm down both of their headaches.  He found him in Xander's kitchen;  Roque pounced him there.

Bia looked over.  "If you conceive in there, I get to name it."  Clay waved a hand, probably for help, but she was having eye candy time so it was all good.  Even if she would have to order pizzas and restock the pantry.  She so needed more batteries anyway.

Dawn looked at Coulson, grinning some.

"We have got to find a way to get those out of your head before they warp you permanently," Coulson complained, going back to his debriefing.  Dawn's cackle faded so she was clearly going to tell Stark that joke.

Slight Angst!  Some weird violence.

13: Weird Emergencies For The Old Ones

Sometimes weird emergencies happen around SHIELD and other places.  Thankfully, someone has a clue, even if she is in trashy clothes even her sister would call ho gear.

Phil Coulson walked into Director Fury's office with a file.  "You needed to see me, sir?"  He handed the file over since it was a report on the training he had overseen at Xander's temple.

"Do you think that you're still emotionally detached enough to be a senior agent?"

"Yes, I do.  Is there a doubt?"

"What if the problem is Dawn Summers?"

"Why would Dawn be a problem?"

"She's got powers no one understands."

"I helped her put plans in place in case she lost control.  She was already making them and putting them in as protocol so I helped define the action plan, sir."

Fury stared at him.  "I haven't seen that yet."

"You won't be," he admitted.  "It's locked until an alert comes up.  All the energy sensors we have contain an alarm in case she starts to dump power.  Then there's three in-case plans depending on the most common scenarios."

"I see.  And what if they worry about Tara?"

"Again, sir, why would they worry about Tara?  She doesn't use her magic unless it's necessary.  She's become important around here to keep the base's people healthy and calm, plus focused on the job.  She's never shown that she'd have the addiction problem Rosenburg did."

"There's people who think that magic is very bad for us."

Dawn appeared wearing skinny, short shorts and a tight t-shirt with her hair pulled back in a pony tail.  She was clearly braless and was wearing strappy wedge heels.  "Tell me a lie," she ordered.

"What?" Fury demanded.

"Tell.  Me.  A.  Lie."  Phil started to open his mouth but she held up a hand.  "It's a test," she told him.

"I don't have to," Fury started.  She slammed him into the ceiling then let him go.  "How dare you....."

"Tell me a damn lie or I'm shooting you next time," she noted.

"Fine!  You look like a librarian!"  He melted into a puddle of gray goo.

Coulson looked then at her.  "I heard Xander muttering about goo clones."

"Yes you did.  He just found out earlier that they're infesting the ship."  She pointed at the staring assistant.  "That's the root cause because she's the only one that's out of place.  It started right after she got here."

He watched the assistant start to carefully move away from her desk.  "Interesting.  Is that the only method of telling?"

"Shooting and killing.  They don't bleed right either when you poke them."  He nodded, going to chase her down.  Dawn got onto the desk, finding the files she had been told to find by Xander.  And another one.  She took them with her, handing them off to Phil on her way past them.  "Hold those.  They're the problem Xander found."

"Good to know.  I'll check the Avengers."

"I'll check the Avengers.  You go check the medical team.  We'll probably need them."  He nodded, hurrying that way.  She jogged down to the lab.  Banner's lab was closest so she walked inside, freezing Banner when he started to say something.  "Tell me a lie," she told the assistant.

"What?"

"Tell me a lie.  It's a test, just do it.  Any lie will do."

"Umm....  You look like a hippie?"  She was fine.  Dawn looked at the next one.

"You look like a pro?"

"No, I said a lie," Dawn said dryly.  "I know I was at home on the couch vegging and the shoes were the closest at hand.  Just any lie.  I'm a girl, there's some standard ones."

"Sure.  You look older and fatter in that."  She changed.  Everyone was staring.  Dawn looked at the next one.  They all told her lies and were fine.  She unfroze Banner.

"You look like a well educated young paralegal," Doctor Banner said.  No change.  He slumped.  "What is that?"

"Xander calls them goo clones.  They're made by another country's intelligence people to subtly replace minor players for intel gathering and to mess up plans."  She moved to work on the tension in his neck because his skin was turning a bit green.  "Relax, Doc.  I'm here to help.  We're stopping this.  We've found them in Fury's office too," she said quietly.  He nodded and she made sure he stayed calm.  "Go check the other labs, I'm heading to Stark and then the other Avengers."

"Lock down the lab," he ordered, heading out.

Dawn nodded.  "Don't let anyone in that you don't test."  She headed for the other R&D lab.  She walked in and covered Pepper's mouth when she started to complain to her about barging in.  "Hush," she told Tony.  "Tell me a lie," she told the assistant.  "Any lie will do.  It's a test."

"I saw that earlier," she said, looking around.

"Just any lie."

"Um... you look good as a blonde?"  She was fine and sighed in relief.  Dawn frowned and looked at her.  "What are you looking at?"

"A tiny electrical pack attached to your skin.  We'll deal with that later.  Next," she told them.  That one went to goo before she got more than a few words out.  Which freaked Tony out.  She freed Pepper, who turned to goo before she got more than a complaint out.  She stared at him.

"You look like you graduated from Harvard in that outfit."  He went to goo.  There was a tiny arc reactor sitting in the middle of it.  People started to freak out.

"Hush," she ordered, concentrating.  She could find Tony, she had marked him in case he got taken again.  She brought him, chair and all.  He looked a bit freaked out too.   "Good, tell me a lie."

"I saw them doing that.  I'm twenty-seven and madly in love with a giant robot."  No change.  She freed him.  He looked at the arc reactor.  "Old intelligence.  It's the old one's shape."  He put it aside and looked at her.

"Banner's doing the lab.  Phil has medical.  I'm going to hit the other Avengers."

"I'll help Banner and then move toward the bridge."  She nodded.  He glanced at the pile of Pepper's favorite outfit.  Then at her.

"I only had you marked, not Pepper.  We'll figure out where you were and then go rescue."  He nodded.  "Lock the lab," she told the assistant.

"Hell yes!"  She initiated emergency shut down procedures.

"I'm hitting Cap," Tony called back.  "The others are in the gym."

"Sure."  She jogged that way, nearly skidding when the elevator opened and nothing was there.  "Fine," she decided, teleporting in there.  She froze everyone, getting a glare from Natasha.  She undid the junior officers first.  "Tell me a lie."

"Why?" he demanded.

"Just fucking do it, dude.  It's a damn test.  Now, tell me a fucking lie!"

"You look like a tart!"  She punched him.  "Hey!  Fine, you hit like a teenage boy."  He went to goo.  Everyone else was staring and trying to look horrified.  She released them and the others all told them.  She found another of those weird packs on someone and noted it.

"You have one too," Natasha said, touching it.

Dawn looked then concentrated, pulling it out.  It hurt like a bitch.  It had been connected to some nerves.  She did the healing spell and looked at her.  "Tell me a lie."

"I'm twelve and a ballerina."  Nothing.  They both looked at Clint Barton.

"I'm madly in love with that ballerina?"

"No, an actual lie," Dawn taunted, smirking slightly.

"She's been the premiere dancer at Ballet Russe for the last twenty years," he lied.  Nothing.  He sighed.  "What is going on?"

"Those are what Xander calls goo clones."

"I've heard something about them," Natasha agreed.  She took the electrical pack.  "We'll have Stark look it over."

"I had to find him.  They still have Pepper."  She nodded.  She looked at Clint.  "Go clear the prisons.  I got you guys.  Banner and Stark have R&D.  I'm going for the bridge.  It's the next most critical.  Phil's fine.  I got him first when Fury melted."

"Going," he agreed.

She flashed up to the bridge.  "Agent Hill, tell me a lie please."

Agent Hill stared.  "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Day off on the couch until the emergency started.  Tell me a lie?"  She did.  Nothing.  They did the bridge one by one.  The few that tried to be missed got pushed into the open.  Dawn sighed in relief when only a few went down.  "Pepper Potts is still missing.  I managed to find Stark but not her."  Hill nodded.  "Did we miss any critical sections?"

"Not yet," she said, checking.  "I'll send people to the mess and have them checked.  Just a lie?"

"They might not bleed properly if stuck.  If killed they'll goo up."

"So a lie."  She stomped off to handle that.

"I cleared the Avengers."

"Good.  Go figure out why this is going on."

"I'm pretty damn sure I know," she admitted.  She got Phil and the others that were cleared to a meeting room.  She walked in last.  Tony gave her outfit a long stare.  "I was on the couch watching porn, thank you.  The shoes were leftover from me blowing off stress last night.  It's been a shittastic day."

"Why?" he asked.

"Starting with a call from Buffy.  We'll talk in a few."  She looked at Phil.  "The files?"  He handed them over.  She separated them out and put three on the table.  "It relates back to the new Initiative mess."

"Crap," Tony muttered, taking them to look over.  "They were going to use Stark Enterprises to create their little army of psycho future soldiers and SHIELD to house and train them to take over after they took us out."  He passed those around.  "And still the breeding program."  Dawn nodded.  He looked at her.  "Xander?"

"Found out that they were still trying for the breeding part.  Especially after Fury sent an order to get a pint of blood off him and me both last night.  That was before Buffy called and he's working on the outside sources."

"This third file is a program," Banner said.

Dawn looked then smiled at him.  "It's a genetics program."  They groaned.  She looked at Phil then at Barton.  "Do they have any idea?"

"Not beyond the minor research," Phil said.  "Brief them, we'll handle finding Potts and the others."  The three agents left.

Dawn sighed and sat down, looking at them.  "Some back history that Tony partially knows," she said.  Banner nodded.  "Way back when, before even the Gods were born, there were demon societies that ruled this plane.  They were pretty damn powerful, treated humans like zoo exhibits, and made pretty artifacts.  When the humans finally overthrew them, after making the slayer line to help, the artifacts got split up and some got protected.

"One was a key so they could travel to other planes for things that they needed that they couldn't get here.  Plants that wouldn't grow here, energy crystals, things like that.  The humans decided it was one of the most dangerous of all and appointed a group that eventually turned into monks to protect it.  The monks created some crazy knights but that's not pertinent now.  They called it the Key."

"Is this important?" Banner asked.

"Yes.  Hugely so."  She grinned at Tony then at him.  "The Key has been attacked a few times over the centuries since then.  The monks always hid it well.  There's one main hell goddess that wanted to us it, named Glorificus."

"Or Glory," Tony sighed.

"Exactly."  Banner started to look like he got it.  "When Glory showed up the last time, the monks couldn't hold out against her so they used the Key to create a human, a teenage girl, and hid the power inside her.  Then they sent her to be the sister of a slayer to protect her.  In the demonic world, slayers are one of the top fighters against evil so it made sense.  Even though Glory was sucking sanity out of people through their temples by her fingertips."

"I still have film of that," Tony admitted.  He looked at his cohort.  "Needless to say, when Glory started to hunt for the Key, she traced it to the hellmouth."

"She had these little ugly minions that stole Gucci for her and attacked things to find her Key.  Then, Loki decided to show up to nag his son after she had attacked the Sunnydale team looking for the Key.  Which meant said son called Agent Coulson to come get him and Agent Coulson called Iron Man when Xander reported that he had seen her and was off hunting her."

"It took Rosenburg and I an hour to kill her," Tony told him.

Dawn nodded.  "That was right when Mom got found to have the brain tumor so I was hiding while they were looking at it for treatment and I had just met Pepper that night.  She's the one that told me Glory was down for good if I remember right."

"So this is to get your powers?" Bruce asked.

"No.  They can't harness my powers.  My powers without my control are dangerous.  That glowy cube has nothing on the Key."  She got up and went to a computer terminal to pull something up, bringing it back.  She handed him the printout.  "That's the tests Phil had done so they could set up an alarm for my power going out of my control due to a kidnaping or attack."

He looked it over.  "Different power source and levels, different origin than the tesseract cube."  He looked at her.  "Why is it important to know now?"

"Because of the way I was made, the Key never fully created me into a real girl.  It did a heck of a job doing most things but some of the plumbing won't work.  I have a uterus but no ovaries sort of not fully done."  He nodded once.  "Those idiots," she said, pointing at the files on the table.  "Are really hot to see if they can breed better slayers, which may or may not come faster in a family that's already had one, and better future Avengers.  Their own team.  That's why they were taking demigods last time."

"By what we've read of your DNA it's just enough off human normal to make it a crossbreed," Tony said.  Dawn nodded.  "Oh!" he said getting it, looking at Banner.

"The gamma radiation changed me enough that I don't fully read as human anymore," he said.

"Yup, but you're not the only one.  John Sheppard has Iratus DNA.  That's the bug that made the wraith.  He nearly turned into a giant blue bug."  Banner shuddered.  "He got bit on a mission."  She shrugged a bit.  "Xander has fish DNA now thanks to mermaid taint and an undercover on the Sunnydale team back in highschool plus some other taints.  He reads about ten percent off normal human.  Thor reads slightly off normal.  It's probably enough if they wanted to tinker a bit with my DNA or his.  Yours is closer," she told Banner.  "So this is a head's up that they want something of yours to try to breed to me.  They've been trying really hard to get it from me to start this.  They had seventy three demi's at that site in Georgia.  Only ten of them were female."  Banner shuddered.  "And they didn't have any of mine then."

"So they replaced some people to get better access," Tony said.

"I think that's part of it.  I'm not totally sure of the rest yet."

"We can start from there.  Is there anything else that may be complicating this?  Because you look like hell, Dawn."

"Got a call last night from Buffy.  She thinks Mom's sick again.  I think it's pretty coincidental."

"We were never sure how her tumor got started anyway," Tony agreed, considering it.  "You think or you know?"

"I can't get near her.  They've got a massive electrical storm out there.  Or else I would've pulled her here to have them do a new CT."

"I can arrange that," he decided.  "Any other good news?"

"The other two folders were on classified demis who came to notice recently that aren't real stable."

He winced.  "I heard."  He got up.  "Let me get someone to snatch your mother or at least some hair for testing.  I want some of yours too."  Dawn tipped her head, letting him pluck some.  "The GCMS should be able to tell us most everything."

"You might want to pluck hairs from everyone else."

"I can do that later."  He left.  Banner patted Dawn on the arm and followed.  She cleaned up the folders and went to help Phil.  This was bad news all around.  He had found where Pepper was and a team was going to rescue her.  She sat beside him, monitoring the power flows.

At one point she nudged him and pointed.  "Magic."  He reported that and Natasha's power absorbing amulet helped with that.

When they came back, Dawn followed him down there.  "Did we test them?" she asked Natasha.

"I had not thought to but it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to put a spy among the hostages."  She looked at them.  "Tell us all a lie."  They all passed but Fury.  "Oh, dear."

Dawn sniffed and looked at her.  Natasha gave her a strange look.  Dawn pulled her off to the side.  "Why do you smell like head and shoulders instead of your normal shampoo?" she asked quietly.  "You told me you never share personal supplies because you might get poisoned by an enemy that way."

She pulled her hair around to sniff.  "That is not my normal shampoo....."  She looked.  "Can you find one of those boxes on me?"

Dawn scanned her and nodded, tapping it.  "Here.  Phil, that little box thing?  She's got one too."

"Do we have anything on those?"

"I handed Dawn's to Stark," Barton said, looking at him.

"I have it being scanned.  I have no idea what it's for yet.  Dawn, how was it attached?"

"Three nerves.  Hurt like a bitch to take off but a healing spell helped."

"We can look at that."  He looked at Natasha.  "We can remove yours more kindly than she did."  Black Widow nodded they would be.  They stomped off to talk.

Dawn looked around then went to snatch her mother.  The storm was easing.  "C'mon."

"Why?" she asked.

"Now."  She pulled her up and took her to the infirmary.  "Guys, I know we're in the middle of an emergency and all but we think her brain tumor came back without warning.  It's really weird and might be included in it.  Can we do a scan thingy?"

"We certainly can," the head doctor agreed, pulling up the digital chart.  "We're out of the first wave of traffic."  They pulled some blood for testing, a few pieces of hair for other tests, then ran her into the CT.  He came back and nodded, holding up the print-out.  "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"She got scanned last week and there was nothing."

"The blood work came back with that same anomalous result.  The one no one could figure out last time.  We're breaking it down and we've taken her to surgery to drain the fluid sack in the center."  Dawn nodded, sitting down, making herself stay calm.  "Once we have that, I'm going to refer her to the best specialist I know in New York.  He even takes her insurance."

Dawn smiled weakly.  "They'll love that.  Thank you, Doc."

"It's not a problem.  I did get a request to get some blood from you from the director."

"Yeah, he's turned to goo now twice."

"Oh, never mind then."

"The whole new Initiative thing was about breeding."  He shuddered.  "Exactly."  She rubbed her face and waited.  The draining of the fluid sac didn't take that long.  They could go in through the old surgery scars.  The results of the bloodwork were more disturbing, especially combined with what was in that fluid.

***

Dawn walked into the team meeting a bit later.  "Tony, I need one of your father's journals."

"Why?  They're probably in a classified warehouse somewhere."  She put the bloodwork down.  "I remember that strange result.  That's what we thought caused it."

"They found more in the fluid sack inside the brain tumor."   She put that one down.  "I think I saw you fiddling with something that looked like that the other day."  She put down the last test result.  "That's the other half of what it is.  Why would a fertility drug be inside a brain tumor that someone caused my mother to regrow?"

He was still staring at the other result.  "That's the super soldier formula Banner was working on."  Bruce took it to look over and winced.  He looked at Dawn.  "It was inside the tumor?"

"There was a fluid sack with that and clomid, a fertility drug, mixed in with it."

"But....  Your mother wouldn't be fertile after the chemo," Natasha said, considering it.  Her mind was still in a bad position to think.

Dawn looked at her.  "Did we test your hair yet?"

"Did we test yours?" she countered.

"I have some running of Dawn's," Tony said, reaching over to yank some of Natasha's to go run.  "Give me ten, Dawn."  He walked off.

Dawn sat down and looked at Steve.  Then at Banner.  "What effect would that have on my mom?"

"It shouldn't cause a tumor.  We never saw any evidence of it."

"She got radiation as part of her treatment last time."

He shook his head.  "Still shouldn't matter, Dawn."  He considered it.  "If they had the genetic material and just needed eggs to transplant it into, she could do that.  She's a bit older than the norm but still pre menopause?"  Dawn nodded once.  "Then they could be using it to harvest and hoping that the serum sinks into them to make them stronger."

"Why is this relevant?" Barton asked.  "Not that I don't think it is," he told Dawn.

"Dawn's mother's tumor was caused," Natasha said.  "We were fairly certain but had no definitive proof outside some very odd bloodwork results."

"We think by the initial Initiative program," Dawn said.  "And everyone's been very hot to get my blood for the last few days."

"We know your sister's line spawned a new slayer," Steve said quietly.

"Xander said she's far down the calling line though," Dawn agreed.  "Mine's not normal and only those who read off human could be used unless they want to do a serious amount of tinkering with my DNA."

"Yes, but you're powerful and if they combined you with a more powerful being, like a god or a demigod's seed, it would hold their bodies stronger," he said.

She nodded.  "They were wanting Xander.  They only had ten women out of all the ones they had in Georgia."

Tony came back.  "There's no fertility meds in yours, Dawn, but that same serum was very lightly shown up.  It looks like the magical protections gathered it somehow."

"I can have myself scanned, see where it's hiding," she offered.

"We can do that later."  He looked at Natasha, handing over hers.  She growled.  Tony nodded.  "So you're on their list."

"I will destroy them," she said in Russian.

Dawn looked down at her.  "Sure, want help?"

"No, I won't need help."

"Okay.  I get a few for my mom and all the hell this is going to put the family through."  She saw the confused look.  "If my mom dies of the brain tumor do you think Buffy's going to be as careful?" she asked Steve since he looked so confused.

"Oh!  I hadn't even thought of that, Dawn."

Dawn shrugged slightly.  "She got straightened out after dying the first time because Mom needed her to be stronger and get better.  Otherwise she would've continued down her destructive path."

"She died?" Steve asked.

"Drowned by the Master out in Sunnydale.  Xander did CPR."

He nodded.  "So are they using her?"

"I can't get to her.  She's being hounded by demons today and I can't take her from the battle.  I haven't even told her that what she called up ranting about last night was true.  I can't do that over a phone."

"You can go see her," Barton said.

"It's not safe," Stark noted.  "At all.  She's not allowed in Cleveland without a guard."  He looked at her.  "You might have to call."

"I cannot call someone and tell them that our mother has another brain tumor, definitely caused, over the phone," she said quietly.  "I just can't, Tony.  That's not the way to break that news and Buffy will need some breaking down time before she goes to smash everything in her path for a bit."

Xander appeared and sat down with a sigh.  He hugged her.  "Cleveland's about screwed today.  I've spent the last few hours helping your sister."

"We need to talk," she said.

He looked at her.  "I checked on Joyce and spotted that."  Dawn slumped, shaking her head.  He hugged her.  "We'll deal with it.  If something happens, I'll still be the best big brother ever.  Like we had planned before, Dawn.  You're still my family."  She sniffled but nodded and got up, going to the infirmary.  "So," he said, looking at the heros.  "Now what?"

"We need to find who was behind it," Stark said.

"We know the front players," Xander reminded him.  "The puppet masters probably aren't in the US."

"Could it be HYDRA?" Steve asked.  "They wanted the formula too."

Xander shook his head.  "Making new super heros?  Not likely.  They might want a few to publically fight their image as 'we've changed, look at our new style' sort of thing.  It's not tactical otherwise.  Though there is that group out of England, since yet again the Council has popped up a few people trying to reform.  There's also that group of Generals from all over that want the heros spread all around the 'good guys' to start a less dangerous nuclear arms race."

Xander glanced at Natasha.  She had been one of those at one time.  Then back at Captain America.  "England has some kooks that could help.  I wouldn't put it past HYDRA to have a hand in it so they can up their own genetics programs.  I know they've got one.  Gershwin Verganthes is part of it and I know her brother from way back when."

Tony looked up that name.  "Biologist.  Son is a DNA splicer for plant species."  He rubbed his head.  "So they do have one."

Xander took the tablet to get onto another site.  "The Geeks from Sunnydale."  He handed it down.  "About a third of the way down the last I knew, which was a few days back."  Tony looked it over, finding it on the next page.  He read it and his face went stony.  "I'm guessing they're behind the ones that got the demis taken hostage and you guys taken for goo clones."

"Probably," he agreed, broadcasting it up so everyone could see it.  It was a happy article that one of the geeks was being mentored by them in their special program.

Steve pointed.  "He used to be HYDRA."

"He left, turned his back on the pure race and tried to make superior humans," Tony said, pulling that up.  "He was all for making the X-Men happen."

Xander nodded.  "I remember hearing about him.  Does Gershwin work for him or them?"

Tony looked at that file.  "Both."

"Darn it," Captain America complained.

"Definitely an oh shit situation," Barton agreed.  "Why bother Dawn's mother though?"

"Joyce gave birth to one of the strongest slayers.  The longest lasting slayer."  He slumped.  "Buffy gave birth to a fairly strong slayer that probably won't be called.  Otherwise, Callia is a super strong toddler even without the calling.  Mom's upbeat and perky DNA with the slayer essence included passed on very well when NID knocked her up by Stark.  Dawn's very powerful and not everyone knows why.  We kept the Key thing very hidden until we had to start letting some people here know.  And most do not know."  They nodded.

"The only one I know that knows out of those that got taken is Fury," Coulson said.

"And he knows a lot more than that about other matters and other demis," Xander agreed.  "He's their library."  He looked at Barton.  "Dawn's not fertile and that's been noted in her files here I do believe?"

"Noted by the docs but not in the files," Stark said.  "Though the doc that did it was taken."

"So they'd use Joyce's eggs to put Dawn's DNA in," Banner said.  "The family lineage would mean less change of rejection.  Then find a good male side donor and spin in a petri dish."  Xander nodded.  "Would her powers pass on?"

"Some powers would pass on.  Any kid she has is most likely going to have powers like Tara does, if not something like a mild genetic mutation that leads to being a seer or something else like that.  It could be the first X-Man style mutant."

"Why a tumor?" Barton asked.

"We think the first time they dosed her it caused it," Stark said.  "Could've been the hellmouth's radiation countering against it, could be that she had a predisposition and it made it happen.  No one's sure there.  The fluid sack being there meant it was recently."

"She had a scan last week.  No tumor," Xander said quietly.

"So in the last week," he said, considering it.  "Can we find out who visited her?"

Coulson nodded.  "I'm having someone compile that."  He looked at Xander.  "Are you all right?"

"No.  I'm going to go blow shit up.  Let me know if you guys need help against any of these people.  They took blood samples from me but with the mermaid taint, the hellmouth radiation sucking up I did by accident, and the godhood I'd have to be matched with someone off-human at first."  He left.

"Dawn's DNA can only be combined with someone off-human," Banner said quietly.

"They can't combine Xander and Dawn.  Dawn's magic would work against is godhood and his radiation taint, which they probably can't remove."  Tony put up that calculation.  "So they'd have to match him to someone who was strong enough to handle that much power."  He looked at their teammate.  "And he does draw dangerous women."

She nodded.  "It sounds likely but they don't have anything of mine yet."

"We're going to make sure of it," Banner said, smiling at her.  "Not that we don't need a next generation but I don't think any of us are ready for that yet."

"Not yet," Tony agreed, leaning back.  He looked at Coulson.  "What's the party line this time?"

"Find it, be subtle, shut it down."

"Can I bring in Sheppard's people?" Stark asked.  "Banner, have you ever met Doctor Rodney McKay?"

"I've had the displeasure of hearing him rant," he admitted.

Tony smiled.  "He's been the head of science on Atlantis since that mission started.  With Doctor Zelenka after him."

Banner moaned.  "That's a heavy geek pairing that even I might bow down to.  Can we involve them?"

"By the notes we got earlier off Fury's desk they're already involved," Coulson admitted.  "They wanted McKay to breed."

Tony dialed John Sheppard's phone.  "Sheppard, it's Stark.  We need McKay and his two best minds to help us.  The new Initiative breeding mess included goo clones, stolen agents, and their DNA being wanted too."  He listened.  "I can have someone pick them up.  It might give Dawn a mental break."  He hung up and texted her.  She appeared with them a minute later.  "Doctor McKay, Doctor Zelenka, Doctor Carter."  He smiled.  "Welcome to SHIELD."

Coulson handed over the file.  "This is need-to-know but we have a director missing to the same people and agents being compromised."

They settled in to look it over.  "I would destroy them to the quark level," Rodney sneered.  "They would not last."

"Hey, I can build a weapon for that," Stark said with a smile.  "Have you guys met Doctor Banner?"  They all stared.

Rodney smirked and held out a hand.  "We were at a conference but never talked.  Doctor Rodney McKay."

"Doctor Bruce Banner."  He shook his hand.  "Coulson, I'm taking them to my lab."

"That's fine.  We'll make sure no one tries to fawn all over them."  They nodded and left with Stark.  He slumped, looking at his agents.  "Are you all right, Natasha?"

She shrugged.  "I will be fine once I get to kill whoever tried this."

"Did you find out how?"  She shook her head.  "Find out, let me know.  I'm going to go back to looking for the director."  They got up and went to deal with things.

***

Dawn looked up from her drinking when someone sat at her table.  "I was hoping no one was going to track me tonight so I could get drunk and forget about all the hell in my life."

"I wasn't tracking you," Barton admitted.  "I like this bar.  It has a good music set."

She smiled.  "That's why I picked here instead of my usual places.  That and they know me too well there."  She finished her mixed drink.  "Buy you a round?"

"Sure," he decided, going up to order with her.  They came back and settled in their corner seat to listen to the live band.  He sipped his beer.  "You didn't seem like the drinking sort."

"I'm not.  Sometimes though, you gotta have it.  Buffy screamed at me that it was my fault.  Fury, when they found him, yelled at me for daring to have Mom scanned since it was relevant."  She took a drink.  "And I shot back at him.  He tried to sneer about the clothes but I pointed out I didn't hesitate to change when an emergency happened and he should feel lucky since I was on the couch watching porn when I got the notice it was bad shit."  She took another drink.  "Pepper and Tony's chef taught me how to mix wines and food.  Pepper taught me about mai tai's too because Tony drove her nuts one day."

"Those are pretty girlish drinks."  He sipped his beer.  "We need a dance floor."

She smiled.  "I don't dance.  I club tease but I don't dance dance."  She finished her drink.  "You dance?"

"I did learn," he admitted.  "Had to for an assignment."

She looked at him.  "How does that work?  I get how it works for Natasha but you?"

"There are bad girls in the universe," he said dryly.

"I know, they all like Xander."

He smiled.  "Some of those probably would've too."  He finished his beer and got the next round.  She was clearly past tipsy.  "Keys?" he asked quietly.

"I'm smart enough to know what a cab is," she quipped back.

He smirked.  "There's that nasty cabby killing people."

"Yeah and he'll probably be drawn to me too," she sighed.  "So I'll shoot his ass if I have to."  He choked.  "Yeah, I'm in a mean mood today after having everyone and their brother complain to me about something.  Even Pepper complained that I didn't get Tony to some sort of meeting during an emergency."  She sipped her drink and sighed since the band was taking a break.  "Maybe I should've went to the club."

"You'd probably get in more trouble," he said.

"They know me well enough at the ones I go to that they know not to let me out with someone after the last attempt.  Oops.  Sorry, must get chatty on rum."  She downed most of the drink and shook her head.

"It does do that to people, yes," he agreed.  "I'll watch over you this time.  Next time you're on your own."

She smirked.  "You're too old for me too."

"Thankfully, yes I am."  They clinked glasses and got back to the serious business of salving the wounds of the day.

***

Dawn walked into Tony's apartment the next morning.  "Get your ass up," she bellowed loudly.  "Pepper about ate my liver because you missed the meeting last night.  She'll seriously kill me today if you don't make this one."

He blinked at her.  "Hangover?" he guessed.

"Fuck yes.  Get up anyway.  It's making me mean."

He pointed.  "Advil.  Second cabinet.  Drink a lot of water."

"Duh.  Already have."

"Aren't you underage?" he complained as he sat up.

"Yes and no liquor has ever touched these lips," she shot back with an evil smirk.

He looked her over.  "You managed to get dressed."

"Yeah, about four hours ago.  You have to do the same thing so Pepper doesn't have to wear the suit when she kills us both for you missing a meeting.  Though she did say in a few years I'd have a better and more subtle handle on how to get you to them."

"Yeah, right," he said, uncovering himself.  She turned around.  "I'm not naked."

"I realized that.  It's considered polite not to stare at guys who're hungover and in their underwear unless they're crawling out of your bed."

"Good point."  He wandered into the bathroom.  "Get me some water and advil?"

"Yup."  She put them on a tray and floated them in to him so she didn't have to invade his bathroom.  She went to make a very subtle breakfast too.  She noticed the answering machine blinking and hit it to take notes.

"Tony, are you all right?  It's Steve and you sounded kind of bummed last night so call me if you want to talk."

Beep.

"Are you sure you're all right, Tony?" Steve's voice said again.  "I know you're probably drunk or creating, or both, but call me so I can make sure you got home all right?"

Dawn texted him so he wouldn't have to worry.  Tony came out buttoning up his shirt.  "Captain Rogers said to call him, he was worried you were making new jet packs while drunk again."

He texted him, eyes squinted.  She handed him his sunglasses.  "Thanks.  Meeting?"

"Investors.  Looking at the shiny new stuff?"

"Oh, them."  He finished buttoning his shirt.  "Jacket?"

"It's like eighty outside," she assured him.  He grimaced but took the fried egg sandwiches with cheese to eat.  "So create personal, carryable air conditioners sometime soon.  Or else I'll give you the stuff I found online that squicked even me while I was drunk."

"How did you get home?"

"Cab."

"Alone?" he asked.  "I ask totally as a nosy big brother sort."

"No, Clint Barton ended up at the same bar I was in by accident.  He wanted the music and I was hiding from my usual places.  He made sure I got home and is probably still snoring on my couch."  She pointed.  "Car's already coming."

"Interesting."  He smirked.

"Too old for me."

"Yes he is.  But he might be a good teacher."

"Yeah but I'd rather have a date than an instructor.  I do not have a teacher fetish."

"Eww."  She smirked.  "Are you coming, Miss Nag?"

"Yup.  And hoping that Pepper doesn't say anything."

"She will.  She does to me.  She'll try to stop yours now."  They got into the elevator.  "Why were you out so badly last night?"

"Buffy yelled that it was my fault she was sick again.  Fury yelled, twice, and tried to say something about the clothes.  Then he yelled when I told him to be thankful I was wearing clothes since I had been watching porn to get that bad mental image out of my head.  Then Pepper yelled.  Then Buffy called to cry about Mom and all that.  Though she had to stake a few vamps during it.  Then Xander yelled at Buffy for blaming me and I got to hear the side of that.

"Though he did yell at me for drinking but he said even he needed a night like that now and then so I had to be careful."  Tony groaned, shaking his head.  "I woke up to a message from Pepper threatening my career as a Stark herder for Callia if you didn't make it to this meeting.  She was yelling about the outfit too.  I hung up on her accidentally when my phone lost the signal."

Tony grinned.  "She'll get you for that too."

"Probably but I'm about to lock her and Buffy in a room to see which one can complain the other to death."

He nodded.  "That's a good idea.  College?"

"NYU.  I liked Yale but it's too safe, too far away, and way too safe."

"Then it'll make you happy," he agreed.  He patted her on the arm.  "C'mon, I'll teach you how to fake it today."  She got in after him and they both had some coffee on the way over.  It helped a little bit.  Pepper was glaring.  "She got me out of bed."

"Good!  It's good you're both dressed too!  Even if you are wearing sunglasses inside."  She stared at Dawn.

Dawn lowered them.  "My day started off last night with Buffy crying and ended up with Buffy crying, plus a lot of yelling in between.  Even I needed to get away from it before I started to smite people."

"Sorry," she said quietly.  "It was really inappropriate clothes though."  Dawn found that site again and the story she had accidentally been reading while looking for new reports on the Avengers.  Pepper took the tablet and stared.  "Excuse me?"

"That's why I was watching porn."  She walked Tony past them and into the board room, settling into her spot to take notes.

Pepper walked in and handed Dawn back the tablet.  "We'll stop that."

Tony looked at them.  "Show you later, boss," Dawn said with a grin.

He shrugged and they got down to the meeting of being impressive geeks who designed neat things that made them all money.

***

Dawn walked behind Tony into the meeting room they had taken over yet again.  "Pepper said I had to show you guys why I hit the porn stash.  She was not amused when I told her why I went for gay male porn."  She handed the tablet to Clint and walked off.

He looked at it then around.  "What the hell?" he yelled.

She came back with bottles of water for them all.  "It's one of the most popular pairings.  You're in two of the most popular pairings."  She smiled sweetly at him.  "I went looking for new articles to track on the team.  Google led me there."

"All hail Google," Tony complained, taking the tablet.  He stared then at her.  "Excuse me?"

"Yeah."  She patted Phil.  "It's nice that you're in one of the top pairings too."  She walked off again.

Coulson took it and winced.  "I heard rumors of that stuff."  He looked up a certain area.  "I can't believe they paired me with you," he muttered, handing it back to Stark but scowling at Barton.  It showed who the other two common pairings were.  Banner looked confused.  "You know about stories online, right?  Whole communities?"

"I metaphorically accidentally wandered into one in Star Trek looking up the newest movie," he agreed.  He paused.  "The team?"

"The team," he agreed.

Tony showed him.  "We're like fourth most common," he said quietly.

Banner looked and whimpered.  "He's going to use Thor's hammer on someone."

"Yeah, he will.  I might."  Clint took it back to look at, looking at Natasha.  Who calmly took it and then ended the tab it was open in.  Stark looked at Coulson.  "How do we handle that before they start thinking up cutesy names and it hits the press?"

"No clue.  I haven't wanted to ask the director anything in a few hours."  He took the tablet back and reopened the closed tab, taking it up there.  Fury could use a good rant to clear his head.  "Sir, Miss Summers found that online while looking for new stories to track on the team.  She's informed most of the team, outside of Captain Rogers, and they wanted to know what you wanted to do."

"Why is this important?"

"Because a lot of people think I'm screwing Hawkeye, he's either doing me or Romanoff, and Stark's doing Captain Rogers.  And sometimes Banner."

Fury gaped, taking the tablet to look.  "What the fuck!"

"That's her feeling, and why she said she headed for the gay male porn yesterday before the emergency."

"Hell, *I* might hit it for that!"  He tossed it back.  "Assign someone to make sure it doesn't get out of hand.  If it gets into the mainstream, stop that shit somehow."

"Yes, sir."  He walked off happier.  Fury was now taking something for his headache.  He stopped at Agent Hill's desk.  "Maria, do you have a web-savvy agent who likes to read online stories?"

"Unfortunately three or four."

"Dawn found the Avengers fiction yesterday."

She winced.  "How bad?"  He reopened it and showed her.  She whimpered.  "I'll assign one to monitor it and make sure it doesn't get out of hand."  She looked at the number of stories in each pairing.  "You lucky boy you," she said dryly.

"Not a bit of truth in it," he assured her.

"I know but still.  The rumors are going to be hard."

"Look at the top one."  She did and winced.  "No one's told him yet."  He turned it off and walked off.  Dawn was doing his paperwork so he tossed it back at her on his way back to the meeting.  "Director Fury had me assign someone to monitor it in case it goes mainstream."

"I should hire an intern to track down any others with me in it," Stark complained.

"There was an Iron Man category," Phil said dryly.  Tony choked and spluttered, shaking his head.

"I'm going home," Tony decided.  "Don't call unless it's an emergency.  I need something to take that out of my head now."  He stomped off.

"I can see why Dawn went for the gay male porn," Banner agreed, rubbing his own head.

"I think this was her way of making us join her in the hangover," Barton complained.

Natasha stared at him.  "Why was she hung over?"

"Buffy," Phil said with Barton.

"Ah.  She looked a bit stressed yesterday."

"It took her most of a fifth of rum and coke," Barton said.  "I made sure she got home in a cab and stayed on her couch in case she needed to be taken to the ER for alcohol poisoning."

"No, the magic in her blood does tend to weaken the effects," Phil said.  "This is only her third time drinking but we tested it the night she got given some at the club and didn't realize."

Agent Hill walked in.  "Who found that?"

"Dawn," Barton said.  "Before all that yesterday."

"Wonderful!  Can I have her look for more?"

Coulson wrote down the address and handed it over.  "It had Iron Man categories too.  One for Gods and Heros as well."

"Thanks.  Really."  She stomped off to go back to her chosen geek.

Xander flashed in and looked at him.  "I saw some of that.  Someone is really twisted since it had me and Thor a few times.  And once with Loki."  Natasha shuddered.  "Yeah, exactly.  Anyway," he sighed.  "I got a request to do some sort of paperwork?"

"I have no idea."  He took the written notice and called them, getting them to bring it up.  Xander sat down to do it there.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Does this mean you guys pay me?"

"No.  Sorry."

"Damn."  He looked up.  "I can feel the brain itching thought.  What?" he asked Barton.

"Ragnarok?"

"Prophecy hasn't happened yet and it was cranked to begin with since my fated mate hated me enough to try to kill me if I wasn't actively sexing her up.  So the part about me was definitely wrong.  I had the updated version before the invasion and it's nicer.  Still a ways off yet though."  He shrugged.  "Thor's seen it."

"It said that Loki had a son Vali?"

"Ah, the official supposed heirs," he said dryly.  Xander looked at him.  "Loki's taken a few wives and not had kids.  He had me and my half-sister out of wedlock so we're not official kids.  If Vali does come into being, because he's not in the updated version I foresaw, then he'd have to come from the official spouse.  Though, Odin's decree does mean that Dad has to marry and breed soon so maybe I'll get a little brother."  He shrugged.  "If so, we'll figure it out."

"You have a half-sister?" Banner asked.

Xander grinned.  "Dad screwed up her mom *so* hard.  She's technically a sister but she's more a brother.  I even gave her some of my untainted sperm so she and her wife could have kids.  Most of the warriors and the villagers love my sister and her wife.  She's a leather worker in the master class and her wife does glasswork."

"Does your father like that?"

"No.  He still doesn't understand her.  Nor does Grandma.  Or Odin.  They just kind of ignore most of the women anyway, even when they're the better fighters.  There's some of the Valkyries that can kick my ass, Tyr's ass, and Ares' ass.  But they're girls so therefore not warriors."

"I've seen that happen before," Natasha said dryly.  She smiled slightly.  "It's good that the modern age celebrates strong women."

"My sister loves it down here.  She's in Gdansk?"  Natasha nodded she knew where that was.  "They're shacking up there.  The locals carefully ignore my sister isn't actually a guy.  The last one who tried anything got her boot up his butt and out his ear.  Literally when her wife flexed some of her magic since she's a nature witch too."  He grinned.  "No one else bothered them ever again."

"It sounds like she's very strong," Phil said.

Xander looked at him.  "You remember that slight blond guy at the leaving dinner who was complaining about his wife being cranky?"  Phil nodded.  "That's her."

"She was very interesting to talk to and I couldn't tell."

"She's been a brother since she was eight."

"Huh."  He took the completed forms, helping Xander fill out the rest that he had skipped.

Steve leaned in.  "Why is everyone giving me funny looks?"

"Someone wrote some stories online about the team," Xander said, grinning at him.  "Dawn found them."

"Oh, all right.  Are they bad?  Do they make us look bad?"

"Not the ones I've seen.  They just like to pair teammates up a lot."

Steve blushed.  "Really?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"I don't know.  It's just like that.  Maybe they think it's hot."  Steve was now bright red.  "Fury wanted it tracked so of course rumors have started."

"Do they have me doing ...nasty things with Natasha?"

"No, the ones Dawn found had you doing those things with Stark," Xander said.  Steve let out a tiny noise.  Xander grinned.  "They have Clint doing those things with Natasha or Phil."  Another tiny noise.  "Which is why rumors are starting, yeah.  Want to meet a single goddess?"

"Sure," he said with a light squeak then cleared his throat.  "I'd love to meet a single goddess, Xander."

Xander smiled.  "Bia, call your cousin," he called.  "She's taking Steve out to dinner tonight."

"I can," he started.

Xander held up a hand.  "She wanted to invite you but couldn't quit blushing enough to ask.  She's nineteen, and a few centuries.  She's newly single because she broke up with her boyfriend, who was a dickhead who wanted to use her powers to give him greatness.  She's one of Aphrodite's daughters."

She appeared, smiling shyly at him.  "Hi."  She gave a little wave and a hopeful look.

"Hello."  He shook her hand with a smile.  "Steve."

"Gardenia."  She blushed and looked down then up.  "Do you like sushi?  Or Italian?  They're my favorites."

"I love Italian."  She beamed and took him with her.

Xander looked up.  "Behave, be nice to him, be a good girl, or I'm paddling you, Gard."

"Yes, Xander," she called back.

Xander shook his head.  "She's a very nice young woman.  Very shy.  For all of being Aphrodite's she's the Goddess of Librarians."

They all grinned about that one.  It would definitely break the rumors.

Fury walked in an hour later.  "Why is Captain America in Florence, Italy?" he demanded.

"One of Bia's cousins asked him out to dinner," Xander said as he finished signing things.  He disappeared before the ranting could start.

"She's apparently crushing on him," Barton said with a grin.  "She was all shy, blushing, and squeaky voiced, sir."

Fury groaned.  "I guess it's a good thing then.  Make sure she doesn't dent him."

"No, she's the Goddess of Librarians, sir," Coulson said.  "She had asked Xander to see if he'd ask Captain Rogers."

"Great!" he muttered as he walked off shaking his head.  He passed by Coulson's office, spotting Dawn doing his paperwork, and headed for the bridge.  In the elevator, Maria Hill sent him an IM with a website link.  He clicked on it and stared in horror.  He walked off the elevator and stared at her.  "Excuse me?"

"Sir, that was aberrant enough that I thought you should know."

He groaned and glanced over it, blushing at some of it.  "I don't think he'd like that."

"Nor do we.  The writer is a seventeen-year-old girl by word analysis.  No link to a real identity yet."

Fury winced.  "Can we hack it?"

"Not without causing her to complain to others and there's *thousands* in the community."  Fury walked off rubbing his head.  "Let me know what I should have done, sir."

"Shoot me," he complained.  He yelped when he got pinched.  He glared at Tara since she was up the hall.  "Was that necessary?"

"Yes.  You were thinking self harm thoughts."

"Did you see this mess?"

She glanced over his arm and shrugged.  "Willow used to write it about that show with the really young doctor."

"Great," he said sarcastically.  "Just what we need."  He slammed his office door and went to take a nap.  Before the thought of Captain Rogers dating Stark openly and gayly in the press stuck in his head.  No wonder Summers had reached for regular porn!

Tara grinned at Maria Hill.  "I like the one with the dog Barton or the one with the roombas better."  She walked off happier.

Hill looked that one up and settled in to giggle.  Fury had to come out of his office when she cackled at the second one.  He glared but she pointed and he read that part, starting to snicker.  "I can see him doing that."  He walked off, still needing a nap but in a better mood.  Maria Hill sent that to Coulson and Dawn so she could pass it on.

***

Dawn walked into the lab, ducking under an explosion, and handed Tony the tablet.  "From Agent Hill."

He read it.  "Is it..."

"Crack so bad you'll laugh until you pee?  Yes.  And if we have a roomba I'm never looking at it the same way again."  She walked off.  It was Tony's spare tablet so he could keep it.

He settled in to read it, starting to snicker.  "I'm not that bad," he complained quietly.  The others in there got their own copy and nodded he was that bad.  She was right, he did have to bring it to the bathroom with him so he could pee and laugh.  He found Coulson in there.  "I need a roomba or twenty now."

"Not on the SHIELD account, Stark," he said patiently, then washed his hands and left.  He could hide in his office and cackle with Dawn.  Though she showed him a cute one with him as a cat and another with Barton as a dog.  "Change me back if so," he told her.

"I'll do my best."

Stark walked past the doorway.  "Dawn, you're getting a bonus."

"Thank you!" she called.  "It means I can get beach shorts for my vacation before I start school."  She grinned at her 'big brother'.

"Not too tight, too short, too showing," he ordered.  "Unlike yesterday's."

"Oh, please.  It's going over the bikini.  I work very hard to get this hot, I'm flaunting it in Miami in two weeks."

He stared at her.  "I'm sending an agent to tail you and take pictures.  If you're that undressed he'll have orders to put you in a burqa."

"Yes, big brother."

"Thank you.  And wear better shoes.  Yesterday's were trashy looking."  She held up her foot.  He stared.  "Why did you buy shoes at the stripper store?"

"They had my size, which is narrower than usual and hard to find?"

"Order them online?"

"Can't find them either.  Even Pepper couldn't find them."

He sighed.  "At least the rest of your outfit is demure.  Thank you for putting a jacket overtop of the flirty shirt that's a bit low cut."

She looked at him.  "It's time to do laundry."

"Clearly."

"I dropped it off this morning."

"Good."

"Or else I'd have to wear those jeans that nearly gave you a stroke tomorrow and that band t-shirt you got me."  She grinned.  "And heels because sneakers just wouldn't cut it."

He stared at her.  "Don't encourage the mentally semi-competent agents who are much too old for you, Dawn."

"I'll try not to."

"Thank you."  He got back to reading.  She was looking up cake recipes.  The paperwork had already been handed over so they were free until someone brought him something.

***

Pepper caught Dawn getting groceries later that night, looking over her outfit.  "You outgrew those last year," she noted.

"Laundry's not back yet."

"Buy something for work tomorrow?"

Dawn grinned and nodded.  "It's in the car.  I can't wear that here though.  Besides, I'm going to the movies later."

"Alone?"

"Yeah."

"Wear a few weapons, Dawn."  She got her own red peppers and put them into a bag.  "How was today?"

"I showed them those stories.  They all had a headache but Tony got sent the roomba story."

"I heard."  She shook her head.  "Maybe tomorrow will be better."

"Maybe."  They shared a grin.  Pepper shopped with her and paused to look at the dress.  "Too flashy?"

"A bit low cut."

"It was that or a maxi dress.  The ones we usually go to were closed.  Walmart's looked nasty.  It was that or something with twinkly things.  Or I found one with a gauze skirt that looked cool but like Tara would wear."

"Put a jacket over it?"

"Safety pin?"

"Definitely.  Or that tiny bodice dagger."  Dawn nodded that might be cute.   "Shoes?"

"Phil complained I had to shop for them at the high heel place.  It's why people keep calling me short too."

"Well, yeah but you can't find your size anywhere else.  At least it's not thigh high leather ones."

"True.  I have a pair of those.  I look fine in them but not for work."  Pepper looked at her.  "Buffy's birthday present to me.  To go with that green sheath dress."

Pepper shook her head.  "I need to find the girl version of those five gay men for her."  She walked off.  "Make sure you're appropriate tomorrow."

"I'll do my best."

"Thank you.  Find something tasteful for the gala next month too."

"On order.  Will be here in time to be fitted."

"Even better."  Pepper got into her car.  She slumped and groaned, falling onto her side.  Happy rolled down the window to look back at her.  "Buffy got her thigh high leather stripper boots."

"Why?"

"To go with the green sheath dress her mother got her.  I keep seeing Dawn in one of Natasha's outfits with them on and knives stuck in the top."

"I did not need that image of Dawn, Pepper," he complained, rolling back up the window.  He had to remind himself Dawn was young enough to his daughter.  Maybe he'd encourage her to give them to Natasha for a date or something.

***

Dawn walked the boots down the hall, getting a few odd looks from the other agents.  "My sister gave them to me," she said.  That got a few understanding nods.  She knocked on Natasha's door, getting a strange look.  "My sister sent them to me."

Natasha looked at them.  "I've had a few assignments I could use them on.  What would you wear them with?"

"Happy wrote and said your usual battle outfit.  Buffy thought the dress Mom got me for my birthday."

"Only if you're going to start working in the first and the second the skirt's too long for that."  She let the girl inside.  They got to stare at the four inch heeled, dark gray leather, lace up thigh high stripper boots together.  "Perhaps those leather pants you don't admit to owning for clubbing and a loose t-shirt?"

"Loose enough to show the butt and crotch but not highlight anything else?  Like my black one?"

"That could work.  I need to go through your closet anyway.  Pepper has you dressed like her all too often."

"It's work clothes."

"Yes but there is an art to it beyond the power suit."  They picked up the boots and went back to Dawn's apartment.  She had managed to get part of the laundry back.  Nothing of her work clothes but the stuff that could be washed in a washer.  Dawn had a lot of young, hot teenage girl clothes, and matronly power suits for work.  They really had to round out her wardrobe.  She made Dawn try on her one for work in the morning and helped her pin it so it wasn't too showing.  It was a deep green, just above her knee, but it dipped a bit.  A nice broach fixed that and then a belt to gather the waist since it was flowy.  She even had shoes she could wear.  Dawn could pull her hair up in the morning.  "We must shop for you.  You dress like your sister when you club and a married woman with a jealous husband at work."

"Everything's closed."

"Not true."  She let Dawn change and took her somewhere she would shop.  They even found a clubbing outfit for those obscene boots.

***

Agent Coulson answered his cellphone.  "Coulson."  He paused.  "Is it that bad?" he asked with a wince.  "I'll go approve or deny it."  He hung up and headed for the elevator.  Dawn was coming off in shoes that were higher than usual.  The outfit was a nice set of dress pants and a shirt that was soft, fluttery, and had a bit of cleavage showing.  "Dawn?"  She paused and looked at him.  Her hair was pulled back in a bun.  The pants fit her well, just the right sort of tight to show but not too showy or too tight.  The shirt was lacy and had ruffles around her chest.  "Jacket?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry.  That part's not back from the wash yet.  You don't like it?  Natasha helped me pick it out."

"I think the top's a bit...inflammatory."  How she could make something that was probably innocent looking on anyone else look a bit dirty he had no idea.

She blushed and shrugged a bit.  "Sorry?  The dress is a bit more flowy."

"No, just put on a jacket?"

"They're at the cleaners."

"Oh, dear."  He had spotted Pepper and Natasha talking on the way up the hall.  "Ladies."

Pepper looked at her.  "I like that better than that green dress.  Another button?"  Dawn let her see.  "Safety pin?"

"That is," Natasha admitted.  "I was hoping for the other one."

"Found a snag, have to fix it," Dawn said.  "And I looked very girlish in it."

Pepper winced.  "Here, take my jacket."  Dawn put it on and it didn't go and didn't fit.  Dawn had broader shoulders than either of them.  Phil gave her his.  "Thank you, Phil."  Pepper kissed him on the cheek.  Dawn fit his jacket fairly decently.  It was a bit big and long.

Tony walked up the hall reading and paused, staring at her.  "Go get my jacket from the lab, Dawn."

"The shirt actually fits," she said.

"Yes but the shirt is meant to draw attention to your breasts," Pepper said.  "It's not very demure."

"She is single and eighteen," Natasha told her.

"Yes, but we don't want her to look like Tony hired her as eye candy," Pepper complained.

"I could put on that blue dress.  I have it in the car so I can get it fitted later," she offered.

Natasha looked at her.  "It has a higher neckline but almost no back."  She checked.  "The shoes would go."

"Go get it," Phil ordered.  "We'll see."  Dawn nodded, going to get it from the car.  "Did you have to take her there?" he asked Natasha quietly.

"Yes.  She either looks like a club girl when she goes out or she looks like an old married woman with a jealous spouse."

Tony smiled.  "She does dress too old for herself."  Dawn came off the elevator in it.  The lack of pantyhose wasn't a problem.  The shoes seemed a bit tamer now.  She turned and they all stared at her clearly braless state.  The back had a cutout that covered from her shoulderblades down to the swell of her butt.  The front was fully covering to her scoop neckline.   The hem was just slightly above her knee.  It looked shiny like a muted silk blend material in a dark blue.  She turned back around.  "Jacket in my closet.  You fit my shirt pretty well that time you got splashed in the lab so it should fit you okay."  Phil had it brought up.  The geeks down there liked to drool on Dawn.  The agent handed it off and walked off after whistling.

Dawn looked at him.  "Still too old for me."

"Thankfully.  I have a daughter your age, Summers.  I'm having her sterilized this weekend so she can't give me grandchildren.  You just reminded me to do that."

Dawn shrugged into the jacket.  It fit better than Phil's.  "Sorry," she sighed at their stares.

"No, the jacket makes it look even more dirty," Pepper sighed.  "What else did you get?"

"Nothing work appropriate without a vest, a jacket, or lower shoes I can't find?"

"I looked and I still can't find you any lower heels," Pepper admitted.  Phil stared at her.  "She has tiny, narrow feet!  It's that or flip flops.  We can barely find sneakers."

Phil took a calming breath.  "You can work in that today.  Tomorrow come in wearing something more...covering?"

"I'm fully covered," she pointed out.

"Yes but the covering is a bit...distracting," he said.  "There's a difference between that and covered up so no one looks at you."

Dawn rolled her eyes.  "I could've come in wearing those jeans."

"Then I would've went with you to shop," he assured her.  "I'll do that after work today."  He walked off sipping his coffee.

"Sure.  I pulled two thousand out of my college fund."

Pepper arched an eyebrow up.  "How is your college fund?"

"I've got over two hundred thou."

"Then that's fine.  I didn't realize you were saving so much."

"I wasn't paying rent until my birthday, or utilities.  So I put everything but food money in there."

"Good job."  She kissed her on the cheek.  "Go hide in Phil's office to do some paperwork."

"Fury wants her to do his," Stark said.  He walked off not thinking about her outfit.

"He should see the boots your sister sent you," Natasha said.  Tony's squeeze cracked his tablet computer.  "Did he see them?"

"He might've heard about them."

"I did and told him," Pepper said.

"I found her a wonderful outfit to go with it for clubbing."  She walked off.

Pepper stared at her.  "We'll adjust your look so you can wear what you have and add in some younger pieces."  Dawn squealed and hugged her then headed up to the main office.  Pepper went to have a salad and mourn for her own youth.  She wasn't anywhere near eighteen any more.

***

Fury looked up at Dawn, mouth flopping open.  "Laundry malfunction?"

"They won't be done until tomorrow.  Natasha helped me pick out the dress and Tony demanded I wear his jacket."

He looked her over.  "I can see why.  The filing's messed up and Miss Havers hasn't been found yet."

"Sure."  She made him a pot of coffee and got to work dealing with his files.  She checked with Agent Hill to get the stuff to be passed on, handing it over, and going to deliver.

One of the female agents down there smiled.  "I like that.  It's much younger than what Pepper usually lets you wear."

Dawn grinned.  "Agent Romanoff helped me pick it out."

"It's darling.  What does the back look like?"  Dawn looked then slid out of the jacket to show her.  "Ooh, no wonder you're in the jacket.  It needs tailored."

"All mine are at the cleaner's.  It's one of Stark's."

She smiled.  "That's nice of him."  She looked at the shoes.  "You still can't find any?  Did you try that place online?"

"I did.  They only had two pairs in my size and they were both lime green and even higher heels with higher platforms in front.  Agent Coulson would complain a lot more about those than these."  The other assistant giggled.  "He asked me yesterday if I had to shop at the stripper store for shoes."  She handed over the files during the new giggling.  "I'm doing Fury's paperwork today."

"Have fun with his growling."

Dawn winked.  "It means that the agents don't flirt."  The assistant cackled so Dawn walked on to deliver more papers, finishing up with Phil's office since it was on the route back.  "Long day?" she asked, seeing the headache look.

"Buffy had two agents turned."

She leaned down to hug him around his head.  "Vampires are mean and nasty, Phil.  They do that."

"I know."  He looked at her.  "I might not make it tonight."

"Then we'll go some other time."

"You could take Xander, or Bia."

"Bia doesn't really do work clothes."

"Point.  Xander?"

"He'd have flashbacks to my sister's shopping.  She made him her approval committee."

"Then he'd be used to it.  Xander?"  He popped in.  He looked at Dawn's outfit, making 'turn around' finger motions while he sipped his water.  She did once she adjusted the jacket.  "She needs someone to help her fill in her wardrobe so she looks her age but not too cutesy and not too alluring.  This morning's shirt was almost cutely alluring in a bad way."

"It was comfortable," Dawn said.

"I'm sure it was.  Wear a scarf or a broach next time."

"I will."  She looked at Xander.

He finished his swallowing and nodded.  "Take Cordy?"

"That's an idea."  She called her on her way back to Fury's office.

"Romanoff helped her find that one," Phil said.

"She has good taste.  Dawn looks good in it."

"Looking good isn't really in the job description for an assistant."

"Sometimes it is.  You can't make her be not cute.  I couldn't even do that to Buffy.  I'll try though."  He disappeared to look in her closet then talk to Cordy himself.

***

Dawn showed up the next morning in new shoes, which were already giving her blisters, and a pants outfit that looked nicer and more demure.  It was nice dress pants, a shirt that was a button up, and a nice scarf around her neck.  One of the other secretaries took the scarf off her.  "You look like you're covering up an adam's apple," she hissed, showing her how to wear it open around her neck instead.  Now it was worn like an untied tie and gathered at the bottom with the broach.  "You found lower heels?"

"They're killing my feet," Dawn admitted quietly.

"You can tell.  You're bleeding."  Dawn winced, going to the infirmary for a bandaid.  She smiled and sent a picture to Agent Coulson.

Phil came down to the infirmary, staring at her.  "The shoes are ugly, thank you."

"They pinch and hurt too.  I need to break them in.  I can switch to the heels I stuffed in your filing cabinet so I quit bleeding."

"That would be fine.  I was wondering why I needed heels."  The nurse choked and walked off shaking her head.  "Nicely demure but not exactly office formal."

"It's seventy-eight in here and it's only eight in the morning.  The A/C is clearly not working."

"True," he admitted.  He walked her off.  "It's not a bad outfit.  The scarf's a bit loud.  You need a more subtle pattern."

"The shop girl tried to convince me that women could wear ties."

"No way in hell," he complained quietly.  "This isn't a prep school for all that some people act like kids."  He looked at Agent Hill when they stepped onto the bridge, getting a nod of appreciation.  "I'll get you those heels.  You go file."  He went to grab them for her.  They got handed to a passing agent.  "For Summers up in Fury's office.  Hers are making her bleed."

"Whatever," the junior agent huffed.  He went up to hand them to her.  "From the big brother."

She smiled at him.  "Thank you."  She slipped off her old ones and into the heels.  It gave her another five inches of height and definitely turned her outfit a bit more sassy.  The agent was staring.  "What?  Huge zit on my nose?" she guessed.

"You went from school teacher to club hostess."

She rolled her eyes.  "I have less demure outfits for when I want to look like I work in a club."  He blushed and walked off.  "Thank you for the delivery."  She bundled her shoes into her bag and went back to work.

Fury looked her over.  "No jacket?"

"A/C?" she countered.  "It's steaming in here.  I'm sweating just standing under an air vent."

"Barton's probably up there huffing at you."

She looked then shook her head.  "Can't see him."  She finished the filing.

"Scarf?" he asked.  She took it off.  He stared.  "That's not bad.  Keep that."  She tucked it into her pocket.  She looked like she was wearing half of a prep school uniform.  "Classwork?"

"Online.  Pepper arranged it."

"Fine.  Graduation?  Will you need time off?"

"It's already crossed your desk and Pepper's."

"Good.  Did I sign it?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Even better."  He got back to the paperwork.

"Do you think this makes me look fat?" she asked.

"No, not at all," he lied, because he knew that trick question.

Dawn looked over at the sound of 'sploosh' of the goo clone dissolving.  "Agent Hill?" she called.  She came in and winced at the mess.  "I asked if he thought I looked fat because he was confused about paperwork."

"Crap," she muttered, calling an all alert.  Maintenance hated the goo clone epidemic they were having.  Dawn finished cleaning up the desk, handing her a few leave requests to sign.  They got handed to her to deliver and Dawn locked up the desk properly before going to hand things over and subtly check people.

Phil walked past her.  "Anything for me?  I locked my office."

"No, leave requests."

"Fine.  Thank you, Dawn.  Can you make some coffee in the main rooms?"  She nodded, heading to HR.  "How long has he been gone?" he asked Agent Hill.

"I didn't see anything different but Dawn said he looked confused about his paperwork."

"That would do it.  She is very observant about the normal office things."  He dispatched agents to look in the places they knew they had used.

***

Dawn looked up from her spot tied to a chair later that afternoon.  "What do you people want?" she demanded.  "I mean, you're not agents, you're clearly not into the supernatural stuff that my sister does, so why kidnap me?"

"There's a nice ransom on your head," the leader said with a smile.  "This way we can collect from there and your boss since he's more wealthy than he needs to be."

"My boss is off today.  No one can find him."

"Bull.  There is a full agency of people who can find him."

She stared at him.  "I'm a consultant's assistant, not a member of SHIELD.  Sorry.  Who has the price on my head?"

"You are feisty, I like that.  If they won't pay we'll make sure you can make us much money."

Dawn snorted, shaking her head.  "Fat chance that'll happen."

"Aww, you are shy.  That will do you well in our business."

"I'm not shy but I'm not going to let anyone use me either."  They slapped her.  She glared and knocked that one on his ass magically.  "Really?  I've had *so* much nicer kidnapings, dude.  Really."

The leader laughed.  "You will earn us much.  The clients will adore you."

She stared at him.  "I doubt that since I'd kill them for touching me.  That's not exactly how I want it to go."

"A virgin!" he said happily, smiling at his people.  "That will earn us even more the first few times!"

"We should check," one of the others said.  "It's only fair."

"No, it will bring down her worth."  They searched her bag for her phone.  "No phone?" he demanded.

"I'm off duty and I left it in my desk," she lied.  They patted her down and found it.  "Oops, guess I remembered it after all."  She knocked the rest on their asses.  They got up and tried to act threatening.  "My sister dates bigger shitbags than you," she said.   "You're not that scary.  I'll kill you all before I let anyone touch me against my will and you'll be in line too."  They punched her this time but yay.

The leader of the thug gang looked through her number list.  "You have a mother?"

"She's in cancer treatment today," Dawn said firmly.  "If you upset her, I'll destroy you in ways that will make God puke."

They laughed.  He decided on one number.  "Here, a relative."

Dawn got the phone shoved at her when it rang.  "Agent PB?  Yes, it's me.  No, I stupidly left those shoes in your desk when I changed.  Can you please deliver them to me?  Thank you."  The phone was taken away.

"I do not know what sort of code she used but she is ours until you pay us three million," the leader of the gang said.  "Then we will hand her to you or the other one that wants her, whoever bids highest.  If not, then we'll make much money off her."  He smirked at her.  "He's protesting they don't have a kidnaping fund."

"They don't.  I told you I was an assistant to a consultant.  Do I look like Iron Man?  And seriously, dude, quit bathing in the nuclear river.  Your skin's nearly glowing with the unhealth."  He spat at her.  She growled and zapped him again.  He screamed.  "I just got this shirt.  I don't need it stinky with your spit.  Now, anything else?  Or can I go home now?  I have to water my ferns and they're more interesting than you are."  He slapped her again and she hit him with another magical zap.  "You may be immune to normal magic but I'm not the normal girl."  She fried one by calling down lightening on him.  He screamed.  She smirked evilly at him.  "Let me go and I'll let you live."

"I believe we have many places a woman like you can earn us much money," he said, hanging up.  "They'll pay and not get you back."

***

Coulson snapped his fingers when he heard the first code word, writing down what was going on and the number.  Someone called it in to trace it.  He was growling when they hit her but he was acting very calm and like he was worried.  Finally they hung up.  "Who?"

"Russian Mafia hangout," one of the agents reported.  He handed over the address.

"Who has the other contract?"

"Council," that same agent reported.  He printed it off and pointed.  "There, sir."

"Thank you."  He read it as he walked off.  He could take a few agents.  He could take Barton because they hadn't needed a sniper for rescuing Fury.  Better to have backup.  He heard the beeping of his phone and winced.  "Dawn, shut it down," he ordered quietly.

Banner came out.  "What's this alarm?"

"Dawn's fighting against the mobsters that kidnaped her for ransom and just let some of her power out," he said as he headed for the elevator.  Barton was already pulling on his armored vest and gloves on his way to the car.  "She'll be fine."

"Why does the Russian mob want her?"

"The Council has a new price on her head.  He offered me a nice deal for three mil and then we could negotiate who was willing to pay more for her."  He got in to drive and headed off.  It wasn't that far away.  He called in to silence the alert, she wasn't going critical, just defending herself from mobsters.  Agent Hill had it shut off and wished him fun.  They found the restaurant.  There was no good entrance.  The front had a locked gate.  The sides had bars on the windows and doors.  That left up high.

"My favorite," Barton said quietly, climbing up to the skylight.  He readied everything then jumped through it, shooting his bow at them.  He landed and looked at Dawn.  "Sorry about the graze, princess."

"It's fine.  I'll get it cleaned up and make sure no blood stays here."  He got her free.  She calmed herself down and sneered at the bodies.  "Told you I wasn't going to *work* for you."  She looked at the doors.  "I can't climb ropes."  He laughed.  She blew the door off and walked out, reining in her temper.  "Okay, I need a new shirt," she told Coulson.   She smiled at Clint.  "Thank you for the heroic rescue before they decided to sell me to their favorite brothel."  She got into the back of the SUV.

Coulson looked in there.  "Did you leave anyone to question?"

"No.  Sorry."

"Pity."  They got in.  "Dawn, medical?"

"It'll heal."

"Not how this goes," he reminded her.

"I'm fine.  Just stressed slightly.  Can I go have ice cream now?"

"After medical."  She snapped and summoned her purse, finding her scarf from earlier to press over the wound.  "That's fine for now," he agreed calmly.  "Everyone's going to think your kidnaping was a distraction."

"No, it's the Council and I'm going to finish ending them."  She smiled sweetly, pulling out her phone to call someone.  "Wes, Dawn.  Really fast thing since my battery's nearly gone.  The new Council has a price out on my head.  No, the Russian Mob tried to take it.  Thanks.  And let me know where they are?  Even better.  Great.  No, don't tell Xander.  He'll freak out and not leave me any, Wes.

"Wes, they wanted me to work in their brothel because I was nice and good looking," she said dryly.  "Even if someone had paid the ransom."  He spluttered.  "So no, I'm going to talk to the Council.  Send me the address please."  She hung up.  She leaned her head back, popping her neck.  She considered it then called Buffy.  "It's me.  Put down the mocha frappe I can hear melting in the background.  The Council reformed, there's a price on my head.  Wes is looking for others.  No, dead battery.  I'm fine.  Got rescued.  Was kicking their asses myself.  Thanks."  She hung up.

Clint looked back at her.  "You need more practice lock picking."

"I know.  I haven't learned more than door locks.  I meant to look those over so I could learn how to do it magically and physically but can't remember to do it with work and school.  Remind me this weekend?"

"I can do that," he agreed.  "Natasha can teach you."

She grinned.  "Spike taught me how to do doors.  Is it much different?"

"No, just smaller."

"Which my skills don't always like to use," she agreed.  "But we'll figure it out," she finished cheerfully.  "Why are we going back to the HQ building, Phil?"

"Medical," he reminded her patiently.

"I have a really good med kit."

"Fat chance," he assured her.

"Stark medical?"

"Probably easier and less waiting," Clint agreed.

"Point."  He took her there.  There would be less rumors in the morning.  She only lived up the street so they could make sure she made it home too.

"Am I making dinner for the heroic rescue?"  The guys smiled at her.  "Cool.  I have a pork loin I've been meaning to unfreeze and use.  Pepper has seriously upped my taste buds.  I didn't know pork came in more than chops and hamburger before I met her."  They pulled into the parking garage and saw a nurse waiting.  She got out of the back.  "It's not that big of an injury."

"We saw the SHIELD car and thought it might be Mr. Stark being injured."  She looked at Dawn's shoulder.  "Few stitches."

"I know.  I said I could.  Agent Coulson said no."

"He's right.  Even though you did learn from Xander."  She walked them up there.  "No news yet," she announced.

"Russian Mob wanted me to work for them," Dawn quipped, hopping up onto a table.

The doctor looked and nodded.  "Not bad."  He got what he needed and stitched it carefully.  "No water...."

"I remember," she promised dryly.

"Good girl."  He smiled at her.  "Now go home and complain to your sister."

"They were thinking about calling my mom.   I was going to destroy them for it."  He laughed and let her go home with the worried agents.

Phil answered his phone.  "Coulson.  Yes, she's got it under control.  Turn it off and then back on."  He waited while they did that.  "That's fine.  It's probably blood particles left there."  Dawn winced.  "Burn it.  In the building?"

"Shoes," she reminded him.

"She was getting blisters earlier from her shoes.  They're in my desk.  In the lab.... find them.  It's probably someone wondering why there's an alert.  If not, let me know."  He hung up.  "The alert we programmed automatically searches out any blood traces from you."

"Charming.  Hope I'm not having DMS the next time then."

"DMS?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, during instead of pre or post."

"Oh!"  He grimaced but nodded.  "There's things to take care of that."

"They barely work on me."

"Figures.  So," he said, shifting around more.  "Can't do little things?"

"Think of it like water.  The more of it you have, the harder it is to fill something tiny like a thimble."  He nodded.  "With my power level, I'm an oil drill instead of a dental drill basically.  Doing the tiny things takes a lot more concentration and control.  Since I can't do the control exercises to get to the finite levels without letting out power, and thereby freaking people out, I haven't gotten around to the tiny things yet."

"We'll teach you to do it by hand," he offered.

"If I could've reached it I can do doors by hand too."

"We'll make sure you learn it," Phil assured her.  "It's a very handy life skill for you."

She kicked his seat.  "It's not my fault they took me."

"No, it wasn't.  This time."

Dawn's phone beeped.  She looked at it.  "Has to be Xander since the battery's fully dead."  She put it on speaker.  "Yup?"

"Who had you?" Xander demanded calmly.

"The Russian Mafia.  The Council has a price on me for capture.  They were going to get another three mil from Stark.  Then play bidding games to see who kept me.  Until I fought back and then they decided my virgin ass would be better served in their working environment," she finished dryly.  "Especially since I electrocuted two of the six."

"Five," Clint said.

"He was dead and behind you," Dawn said.

"Okay.  Do the sitrep later."

"While I'm making dinner," she agreed.

"Dawn," Xander growled.

"You leave me some of the damn Council."

"Maybe," he said dryly.  "Did your virginity get noted casually?"

"No, I was protesting that they were going to use me, said it wasn't how I had wanted it to go.  They got all happy about that.  Said I'd be worth more."

"Fuck them," he growled.  "They're so done for."  He hung up.

She winced.  "I wanted him to save me some."

"If he did, I would've gotten the rest," Phil said.  She waited until he parked to hug him around the neck.  "You are like my sister, Dawn."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Chinese?"

"I adore Chinese."  She looked at Clint.

"Chinese is great for me too."  They got out and headed upstairs.  Dawn answered her phone to talk to her mother while Phil ordered and she got them all drinks.  Then she got nagged by Pepper who said Xander wasn't going to have a chance to get them, she'd be getting there first.  Dawn calmed her down too.  Once the Chinese was there, Dawn went to pick out clothes for in the morning really fast.

Phil followed.  "Do not wear that pink thing," he warned.

She held it up.  "It's cute, soft, and cool."

"It's flesh colored.  It's alluring, the ruffles are meant to draw your eye to your chest."

She looked at him.  "It's not like they're huge."

"Yay."  He found something else and pulled it out then put it back carefully.  "Why do you have that?"

"For the boots Buffy bought me?"  She pulled them out to smile at.

He whimpered.  "Your sister needs better taste in clothes."

"Pepper vowed to find the female version of those five gay guys who make over straight guys."

"I'll help her look and pay airfare."  She giggled and pulled out something.  "Jacket?"  She found a cardigan.  "Not exactly professional."  She huffed but pulled out something else.  It had a short sleeve top.  "Better," he decided.  "Shoes under three inch heels?"

"No, the only ones that'll go are the nude ones and they're five."  She led him back out there.  "He thinks most of the clothes Natasha and Cordy helped me get are a bit girlish."

"They have lacy ruffles," he said.

"Lacy ruffles can be nice and demure," she said.

"They draw your eye to the wrong spot."

Clint shook his head.  "I don't have any opinion whatsoever on lace unless it's on a date's panties."  He stuffed his mouth.

Dawn burst out cackling.  "I have never bought any of those.  Matching sets but not the lace ones.  Those are just asking for trouble."  He smirked.  "Did you want oversight of my bikini habit for Miami?" she asked Phil.

"What ever happened to one piece suits?" he asked.  "They make them with skirts so you don't have to shave."

"I don't have to shave that much anyway," she quipped.  He blushed.  She got up to find them.  She came out.  "Which one?"

He stared.  "Where's the rest?" Clint asked.  "I've seen some skimpy things but those are floss."

"They're fashionable and I looked hot enough to make the salesgirl flirting with her boyfriend flirt with me, and him."  She grinned.

Phil stared at her.  "Are you trying to send me to the hospital with a coronary?"

"No!"

"Wear something a bit more structural?"

"I have one but in it I look stacked and Pepper said if she saw me wearing it again she was going to burn it on me."  She came out with a picture.  "Pepper put up a wall of shame to make sure I never repeated the bad outfits."

Phil stared and put it into his pocket.  "We don't want anyone else to see that, Dawn."

She punched him on the arm, sitting down to eat.  "So, two weeks and I'm in Miami for two weeks."  He nodded, only moaning a bit.  "Extra duck sauce in the fridge."  Clint got up to get some.  "I have that one in polka dots," she offered.

He looked at her.  "No.  Please don't.  Even the floss is better than that."  Clint picked his pocket before he could stop him and stared at the picture before handing it back.  "No parties.  No drunken clubbing.  No going on anyone's boat," Phil said, tucking the picture away again.

"Who helped you get the bikinis?" Clint asked, flopping back down.

"Cordy.  She's one of Xander's ex's.  She's on the LA team and an aspiring actress."

"I've read Miss Chase's file," Phil said.  "She usually has more taste."

"They weren't sure if she was really her or something taking her over."

"Clearly something taking her over," Phil complained.  "We'll let Pepper buy you one."

"Pepper liked the blue one."

"Maybe Bia."

"Topless," she countered.

"Many beaches in Europe are," Clint agreed.  "Anything planned beyond some beach bunny time?"

"I got invited to a fashion show.  I have no idea why."  She got up to get it.  Phil tucked it into his pocket.  "I can do a check on them."

"I'll have paperwork tomorrow anyway.  I can do that."  She shrugged and went back to eating.  "If you have more shorts like those khaki ones you wore at Xander's, don't wear them either."

"Fine."

"And remember to jog while you're down there," Clint teased.

"I guess," she sighed.  "Being this cute does take a lot of work."  They nodded that was true.  "I heard someone suggested those boots, Natasha's uniform catsuit thingy, and a lot of knives to tuck into the top."  Phil choked.  Dawn helpfully patted him on the back.

"No, hell no," he wheezed.  Clint helped by getting him some more water.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at her.  "I heard about the boots."  Dawn got one to show him.  "I've seen strippers wear those."

"Tiny feet.  That's the only people that make shoes I can wear."

Phil Coulson looked at her.  "If I see those in the office I'm marrying you off, Xander won't have a chance."

She kissed him on the hair.  "I'd never wear these to the office.  I can't run in them yet."  She put it back and came back to lounge, eat, and talk.

***

Dawn walked up to Natasha with her camera the next day.  "I need an objective opinion.  Phil said I nearly killed him with a heart attack last night when I asked his opinion on my bikinis.  Cordy, or whoever's in her body, said they looked hot.  The salesgirl got hot, and her boyfriend there too, but he thinks I need something more like what speed racers wear."

Natasha took the camera to look at the pictures.  "In the mirror?"  Dawn nodded.  "Nice framing job and zoom level."  She flipped through them.  She looked at Dawn.  "Any of those is likely to need a rescue team."

"I can't find something more massive that I don't look hideous and fat in."

"I have that trouble."  She handed the camera back.  "Perhaps more fabric in the bottom and use those tops?"  Her phone beeped a text message.  She read it.  //Hell.  No.  Not those bikinis.//   She laughed and replied.  "He is listening."

"Doesn't shock me."  Natasha looked at her outfit.  "He picked it out."

"It looks like a dress you'd wear to an old fashioned picnic."

"I have that blue wrap dress that I had to pick up from the fitters but I think he'd probably choke again and it can't be good for him."

"I remember that dress."

"I had the interior button put up higher and the hem lengthened a bit."

"Nice touches," she agreed.  They walked off talking about where to stay away from in Miami.  Dawn mentioned that invitation and she said she'd check on it if Phil didn't.  She got another text message saying it was a people sale.  They wanted to sell her as one of the people.  He had already sent it to the FBI to handle.  Dawn shrugged and they talked about where to go to be flirted with.  Dawn could use some good flirting time.

***

Nick Fury finally got found and brought back to the office, letting him relax in his seat.  Dawn walked in with a bottle of water, two packets of pain killers, and a dress he wanted to stare at.  "Why are you wearing that?"

"Because I'm leaving in ten minutes for a date."  She smiled.  "Here you go.  Sitreps, reports," she said, pointing at the piles.  "Sign and date.  Ignore at will.  Congressional memos.  One notifying you that they're going to ask you things you can't answer.  And one from the president who said he hates you and is going to shut you down."  She smiled.  "Have a good night.  The coffee maker's ready to go, just have to flip the switch."  She left.

Fury took the painkillers and swallowed most of the bottle of water, getting to the important things first.  He was so glad elections were coming up.

***

Natasha sat down next to Clint at the diner.  "Why are you following her?"

"Favor," he said, sipping his soda.  Dawn was chatty and happy with the date.  Who wasn't leering at her, which was nice.

Natasha smiled.  "She has been on other dates.  Why is this one such a worry?"

"His daddy's an arms dealer."

"Charming."  She watched Dawn.  She was happy looking but every now and then she was checking the street.  "She's being cautious."

"She avoided the drink he dropped something into," he agreed.  "His father's in town."

"Any ties to the one that had her?"

"Yup."

"Think it's spread?"

"Yup.  Apparently they had paused to brag about her between when they hung up and we got there."  He frowned.  "Tell me that's not someone holding up the restaurant."

"I cannot do that."  She called 911 for them.  Dawn was doing as ordered, acting scared.  When they passed she casually adjusted something and the robber went down.  People streamed out choking on smoke for some reason.  "She used the smoke capsule I gave her."

Clint looked at her.  Then shook his head.  He wasn't going to ask.  The guy was trying to talk Dawn into going somewhere with him but she was shaking her head.  He pulled a gun just about as the NYPD got there.  They got her free.  She explained it as grabby date syndrome by what they read from her lips, then she walked off.  They paid for dinner and followed her.

"I can tell you're there," she called a block later, where there were less people.  She turned to look at them.

"I like that more now that it's fixed," Natasha said.  "Arms dealer?"

"He was?  He said his father was into art."

"No, arms," Clint said with a smile.

"Well I still handled it well," she defended.

"Fairly well," Natasha agreed.  "Where were you going?"

"To Le Chic?  I could use some loosening up."

"In that dress?" Clint asked.  Dawn looked around then handed off her purse and took off the dress, showing a modestly showy, very tight sheath dress.  "Is that a slip?"

"No, it's made to look like one."  She folded up the dress to put into her bag and hailed a cab.  "Later, guys."  She grinned and slid in.  "Le Chic."  He nodded, taking her there.

Natasha looked at her partner, who sighed.  "I did promise I would trail her until she went home," he admitted.  "Coulson would usually give a junior agent the tracking practice but they're all injured."  Natasha nodded, changing her outfit a bit so they could get in as well.  The bouncer was still wearing his NYPD badge and firearm.  That was a nice, scary touch to keep the creeps out.  They got let in and found Dawn already on the floor.  Apparently she had used one of the lockers at the door to store her purse.  Which was safer so no one stole anything.

She was dancing with some girls in a pack on the floor.  The guys were slowly weeding the pack of single women down.  Dawn shook her head at one, who glared.  She said something and he squeaked, running off to the bathroom.  The next one she moved to dance with.  He was cuter than the first and no cocaine residue on his upper lip.  They split up to take their preferred watching spots, Clint up on the walkway, Natasha at a table near the floor.

Dawn was seriously giggling at whatever the guy was saying and shaking her head.  The guy was pouting.  Dawn kissed him on the cheek.  He tried for a real one and she smiled but shook her head and danced back to the pack.  Another girl let him lead her to the backroom.  Clint watched, leaning on the railing.  She was good on the floor.  She was right, she couldn't dance outside the clubs.  Someone would have to fix that for her some year.  Not him but someone younger, more her style.

Someone sidled up behind her and she looked then shrugged and danced with him.  She did swat his wandering hand a few times.  Then she turned and slugged him, knocking him down.  Clint read her lips as 'I'm not going to blow you, this isn't even a first date and I'm not that easy'.  He'd applaud but he was supposed to be covert.  She shook her head and said something when the bouncer came over.

The bouncer agreed, the guy needed to shoo himself off to one of the sluts on the floor.  He smiled and pinched Dawn on the cheek and his lips said something about a sweater.  Clint snickered.  Dawn quipped back she was overly warm, not cold.  He left her there anyway.  The next guy didn't get handsy but he knew she wasn't going to go with him so he moved on pretty quickly.  Dawn was still happy so it was good.

Clint was glancing at Natasha when he saw her stiffen.  He looked in the direction she was.  That was bad.  He texted Dawn.  She tapped her earpiece so he called.  "Dawn, doorway.  Major problem, he's a HYDRA operative."  He listened.  "No.  Excuse me, he thinks he knows you?"  She said something, turning around to scan the area.  "No, we'd need a wire."  She reminded him she could summon one.  She did and strolled off, taking Natasha to the bathroom to put it on her.

He put in his earbud and listened to her.  She kept the line open the whole time.  His phone could tape too just in case.  She came back looking like she had splashed off some of the sweat and her hair put back up to one side, the rest cascading down her left shoulder.  The operative smiled and walked over to dance with her.  They were chatting about his cars.  Dawn turned to dance back to front with him and he groaned.

She mentioned she was going on vacation soon, did he know anything about Miami or Greece?  He told her a lot about the area, including that he had a business there.  She smiled and asked him about that.  Standard cover of a pharmacy.  Dawn pouted but he said he might be down there in a few weeks for a meeting over new staff contracts.  He might take her to dinner?  She said a demure 'maybe' and winked.  He grinned and got low with her on the floor.

She was describing the bikinis she had bought.  He was panting, so was the operative.  Dawn winked and strolled off to get a drink.  He followed to buy it for her and then they went back out there.  He was definitely handsy but Dawn didn't let him get beyond touching her waist and sides.  Her hips once but as soon as they strayed she moved them.  He was pouty but he accepted it.  So maybe she had the touch and he was working his way into her panties.

She did let him lead her to one of the tables off to the side, where she even let him kiss her a few times.  When his hand started to wander she put an end to it and strolled off to go dance again.  The operative was groaning but he left her alone with a 'see you in Miami' and a wink.  He left after finding one of the easier girls in the club to go home with him.

Clint was just about to hang up when he saw someone who should not be there.  He hung up his phone once Dawn had spotted him and walked over to smile and lead him out to the floor.  You couldn't get much more overprotective than Steve Rogers trying to figure out club culture in the modern world.  Dawn was even teaching him to move.  Clint came down and Steve flinched, tensing up.  "Easy, Cap.  Coulson had me following her."  She looked up and the listening device floated up so she could hand it over.  "We ran into a HYDRA operative," he said quietly at his odd look.

"Oh, dear."

Dawn shrugged.  "He's flirted before but I never let him get beyond a kiss.  By the way, his pharmacy thing is probably a cover for drug running.  Not totally sure.  Can't find that last link."  They smiled and left her with Steve.  She shrugged.  "I came to get down.  He has someone bribed to call when I come in."

He shook his head but he was smiling.  "It figures.  The bad ones like you like they do Xander."

"You bet."  She led him out to the floor to dance with him.  He was getting better at it and this club wasn't as hard as some.  He did okay.  He had a sense of rhythm.  A few of the girls came to pounce on him.  "Ladies, he's shy," she noted.  "He's a military boy and he's shy.  Do not use him like some toy."  They smiled and took him to teach him to dance better.  He was shy, the guy was blushing at them but it was all good.  The shy ones were always nicer and not handsy or groping.  Even when encouraged they didn't.  Dawn got another drink and came back to take him back from them.

One of the more aggressive girls was flirting.  "Hands off.  He's my boss's friend."  The girl pouted but let him go.  She grinned.  "Rule one of clubbing.  Never drink anything that's been opened or that you didn't see made," she said.  He nodded, letting her get him a drink.  "Want to sit down?"  He nodded and they sat to watch.  She pointed out some of the moves and he nodded, finding a nice looking young woman who knew them.  She had heard he was one of the shy ones so he easily changed to dance with him.  She already had bruises from the pinching so a nice boy was a godsend to her.

***

Fury glared at her when she came in the next morning.  "You took Captain America clubbing?" he demanded.

"No, he showed up where I was clubbing so I protected him from some of the mercenary women it contained and taught him how to find a bass beat."  Fury gaped.  "I was already there for over an hour."

"Fine.  Why were you undercover?"

"I wasn't.  He has someone bribed to let him know when I come in.  The two worried ones had me put on a wire this time."  Fury was still looking horrified.  "That was about the sixth time he's shown up there.  I like that club because most of the staff is NYPD second job people.  They're real polite, very nice.  I hardly ever have to worry about a drink unless it's being bought for me, and I did warn him about that."  Fury was shaking his head.  "He wanted to know so he showed up."

"Whatever.  Did you have to do that?"

"What?  Go have some fun?  Yes I did.  Especially after my date was an idiot."

"Nice move with the smoke capsule to end the robbery," Coulson said as he walked in.  "And letting the NYPD handle him."  She grinned at him.  "That second dress was a bit showy though."  He handed over the paper.  She and Cap were on the cover dancing.

She shrugged, handing it back.  "Less slutty than half the girls there.  Has he seen that?"

"And blushed."  He looked at Fury, handing over the reports.  "On the HYDRA agent she keeps running into, sir.  Which is why I had Barton follow her for me since I was here late.  I found the contact report buried under other sitreps."

She pinched him on the arm.  "I handle him very well.  He never gets beyond three kisses and then tries to grope so I walk off.  Was I right about his pharmacy?"

"You were.  I found that last link you left me.  It was more subtle and not something you could find anyway."  She smiled.

"The last I knew she wasn't an agent," Fury said.

Dawn looked at him.  "No, I'm an assistant."  She grinned.  "Who the guy likes."

"Fuck, there's no arguing with you is there?"

"Not usually.  No."  She got them both some coffee and made a new pot, handing the last cup to Tony since she had heard him up the hall.  "Steve, are you okay with the picture thing?"

"I'm fine.  I wasn't doing anything."  She grinned at him.  "Thank you for teaching me."

"Not a problem.  I go there to get down because of all the NYPD staff."  He smiled and walked off.  She looked at Tony.

"It was a cute outfit," he assured her.  "Were you wearing that under the dress?"

"Yeah, I didn't plan on the date being more than dinner.  It's a first date and if it had went well we could've went for a stroll and dessert from the ice cream place up the street.  If not, I was going to go clubbing."

"Good.  I like that.  Very proper," Tony said.

She smirked.  "Some day I'll teach my niece to club."

"Please do.  I don't do it nearly as well.  Just make sure she's wearing her iron underwear I'll design her."  He sipped his coffee.  "Hmm, bottom of the pot."  She handed over the sugar and creamer.  "Thank you."

"You're designing your daughter a chastity belt?" Fury asked.

"There's no way I'm going to be a grandfather before she's thirty-five," he said bluntly.  Dawn giggled, heading out to deliver paperwork.  "HYDRA?" he asked Coulson.

"He picked her, not the other way around."  He handed over the dossier.  Fury made a comment under his breath.  "Please don't, sir."

"I liked you without a sense of humor, Coulson," Fury warned.

"I know, sir.  I'm considering it stress relief after Dawn needing better taste in bikinis she has planned."

"I heard that."

"They thought it was cute," he said dryly.  "I think she needs to wear those unitard racing outfits."  He walked off.

"He's a good big brother," Tony Stark decided.  "Pepper liked a few of those skimpier ones instead of the push up ones."  Fury glared.  He smirked.  "His brother works in one of the Stark Labs."

"I want his file."

"I'll tell Pepper."  He walked off doing that from the Avengers meeting table.  Thor stomped in.  "Morning, Thor."

"Where is my nephew's claimed daughter?"

"Delivering files," Tony said, looking at her.  "Cap ran into her at the club so she taught him how to dance."

"She was nearly unclothed!" he complained.  "It's bad enough she shows her knees here!"

"Women do that," Steve said.  "Even back in the forties women showed some knee, Thor."

"It is not proper!"

Dawn walked back and gave him a hug.  "Modern women show a tiny bit of thigh, Thor.  They can also flash some cleavage and still not be considered too risque.  Relax.  Please?  Before you upset Xander?"

"If he's upset at your outfit then it's your own fault," he reminded her.

She patted him on the cheek with a smile.  "Xander helped me pick out that dress."  Thor deflated into a chair.  "Modern women wear less than they did back in the middle ages.  You can help me when I have to dress up for an event that requires middle ages dresses.  I have no idea how to put on a corset."  She walked off.  "Want me to get you some water?"

"Please.  I fear I need it to settle my stomach," Thor complained.  He looked at Tony.  "Women dress like that?"

"Often."  He pulled up a women's fashion magazine for him to browse through on his tablet.

Thor frowned.  "I've seen women more clothed in bed."  He looked up.  "Jane would never wear such."

"Jane doesn't wear much that's slinky," Tony agreed.  "But modern women wear less than they used to.  It gets shorter and shorter most years.  Though we did have a long dress period in the seventies after all those really tiny mini skirts in the sixties."

"Aye, I've seen pictures from my niece-in-law.  I wanted to staple proper clothes on them."

Dawn came back with a picture from Tara.  "Considering the Valkyries wear that, and you had a hand in what they're wearing, don't even consider it.  My skirt last night was longer than theirs."  Thor blushed and ducked his head.  "And my top covered more of my breasts.  Beyond that, why the leather fetish clothes?"

"I was young and stupid.  I've learned better," he said.

She patted him on the hand.  "I'm sure you have but modern women wear less clothes.  They can dress like a Valkyrie at a club and still be virgins.  I've done it a few times."  She walked off.

Tony looked at the picture.  "Tara looked nice in their official gear."  He showed Steve.

"She did.  A bit more showy than I'm used to seeing her in but she did look nice."

Thor frowned.  "She dresses as a proper woman does," he complained.  He took the picture back.

One of the lesser agents took it.  "I'm going to the mess so I'll drop it by her office, Thor."

"Thank thee."  He went back to the magazine.  "Why is there no fabric to her shirt?"

"Because guys like seeing them in that," Tony said bluntly.

Thor gave him a dirty look.  "I would rather imagine than know if their nether hair matched."

"You can dye that?" Steve asked quietly, glancing around.

Tony nodded.  "Yes, you can.  Or shave it all off."  Steve blushed.  Tony smiled.  "Some guys prefer it.  Some don't.  I don't really have an opinion on it."  He shrugged.  Dawn came back.  "Why are you limping?"

"That nerve thing from where I removed the blinky box," she said with a wave.  She leaned into Fury's office.  "Banner said that R&D needs to be shut down.  He hit the emergency switch because someone accidentally made the worst stink bomb ever.  Even worse than a baby diaper bad."  She walked back over, refilling cups.  "I didn't think that anything smelled worse than Callia in her second week."  Tony snickered.  Thor was still scowling.  She pulled out her wallet to pull out her Buffy pictures.  "That's my sister and she's worn most of those on patrol."

Thor stared at them.  "The shirt has no back?" he asked, frowning at it.

"Two straps around her arms."

He looked at her.  "How does she not bounce?"

"The vampires enjoyed it a lot," she said with a grin.

He shuddered.  "Your sister needs help."  He looked at the other ones.  He handed one back.  "I think that is not your sister."

She looked.  "No, that's me.  I was trying on a new bikini.  I didn't like that one as much.  It made me look chunky."  She tucked it back in there.  Tony took it to look at and nearly squeaked, handing it back.  "I did, didn't I?"

"No, not from what I saw."  He sipped his coffee, adding more sugar and cream.  "The other ones Pepper thought were cute?"

"My camera's at home.  I took pictures to get Natasha's opinion."

Tony texted Romanoff.  She sent back the pictures she had downloaded.  He flipped through them.  "Dawn, remember when she used to send you clothes for work and I got that really bad thought about you and clubbing?"  She walked off giggling.  "I'm having it again."

"You're much too old and too smart for me.  I'd never want to compete with your muses," she quipped.

Steve leaned over to see.  "You can wear that on a beach and not get arrested?"

Thor leaned over to see.  "You can wear that without someone snatching you to do evil things to your body?"

"Yes, you can.  Especially in Miami," Tony admitted.  He and Natasha talked about it, and she agreed that Dawn looked better in those than ones that were more covering.  "Now I know why Pepper's been in the gym again," he decided, putting his phone up.  Thor snatched it to look at the pictures.  Tony got back into them when he scowled at it.  Thor was still scowling but he was clearly saving up to rant at Xander about it.

Xander appeared, leaning on his uncles' shoulder.  "That's about what you wear in LA too," he admitted.  Thor growled, glaring at him.  "Young women, especially young unmarried women, can wear that.  The married ones wear more clothes.  Sometimes."  He handed back the phone.  It had to be Tony's, it was a mega smart phone.  "Dawn said something about an arms dealer?"

"Her date last night for dinner's father," Tony said.  He handed over the file.

Xander shrugged as he read.  "Ares favors him because he's helping a few of the wars he said needed to happen."  He handed it back.  "I'm staying out of that unless she needs help."

"She needs more cloth," Thor told him.

Xander looked at him.  "Remember how married women of Asgard can wear less?"  Thor nodded slowly.  "In humans that's reversed."

"Why?  It's not modest."

"Dawn does a good bit that's modest."  Xander got into a different mag on the tablet.  "That's what the modern women swear by when they go clothes shopping."

Thor frowned but looked through it.  "The skirt shows thigh!"  He looked up.

"Yes, it does.  Dawn doesn't."

"True," Thor admitted.  He kept looking.  "Why can they not wear more cloth?"

"Why should they?" Xander asked.  "That's how young women earn the liking of men, Uncle.  So they can date and some day marry."

"You can arrange one for her."

"I can but I'm not.  Dawn is only eighteen and she needs to experience some life before she gets hitched.  She needs to date and find what she likes."

"Asgardian women do not date."

"No, and most of them are miserable with their spouses.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone but especially not her.  She's got enough hell in her life."

"I suppose that is a point," he complained.  He handed back the tablet.  "At least her knees are usually covered."

Xander hugged him.  "You'll get used to it and maybe Jane'll wear something nice to the scientific gala next month.  Dawn has to dress up because she's going as part of Tony's entourage."

"She is," Tony agreed.  "I'll have Pepper check her dress."

"It's black, asymmetrical, floor length, tight but not too tight, mid-thigh slit.  She can do an updo, do her makeup, and needs to find jewelry and shoes."

"That sounds fine," Tony decided, making a note to Pepper about the jewelry thing.  "Anything from her family she'd like to wear?"

"She's having Joyce's former wedding ring and mother's ring put onto a chain," Xander said.  "Joyce was worried about them disappearing."

"That's tasteful and sentimental," Tony decided.  "Not a bad choice.  The reporters will coo or call her too sentimental."  He shrugged.  "Earrings?"

"She could use some."

"That's fine.  The girls can figure that out.  Romanoff, am I bringing you to the scientific gala?" he called, spotting her.

"No."

"Thanks.  Means I don't have to bring the bigger limo."  He looked at Xander.  "Her prom?  Is she going?"

"No one's asked her.  Pepper wants her to go, claims it's a rite of passage, but she doesn't want to go stag."

"Okay," he decided.  "I'll see if she wants time off for that."  He made a note into his phone.  "Graduation?"

Xander looked and pointed.  "That Saturday I think."

"Good."  He marked that as well.  Pepper would correct it on him.  "Is Joyce coming?"

"No clue," Xander admitted.  "They've got her up on a germ free floor right now."

"If not, we'll take pictures and film," Tony decided.  "That's something a parent should want to see."

Xander shrugged.  "Wouldn't know.  We sent Joyce away for grad.  Willow's parents were in BFE somewhere.  Mine were ....somewhere."  He walked off.  "Probably better anyway with the battle."

Tony stared at his back then at Thor, who shrugged.  "We do not have schools like you do down here.  We have apprenticeships and learning from our elders.  Truthfully, learning of letters and numbers is not as important to most Aesir as learning to fight is."

"Great," Tony said quietly.  "Well at least he did make it through school once."  Steve slumped.  "Didn't go to yours?"

"No, I did.  It wasn't too bad."  He shrugged.  "A lot of speeches about becoming adults.  Xander's had a battle?"

"With a human turning into a pure demon," Tony said, finding that file to show him.

Steve grimaced.  "Eww, he turned into a snake."

"Yes he did," Thor agreed.  "The only way to kill those is to behead them.  The last one I heard of was killed as a volcano went off."  They watched as the school exploded.  "Compact and useful.  Nicely planned.  The slayer's watcher?"

"Your nephew the night before," Tony said.

Thor stared at him.  "He was but a lad.  I'm not sure he had all of his memories at that point."

"He still did it the night before."

"Huh.  Very well planned.  He has learned much from Heimdall and Tyr, plus his time with Ares."  Fury walked out.  "Do we know if more of these are happening?"

"Three years in Chicago if he gets it done.  Five years for two in Europe," Fury said.

"We'll have to be prepared with a way to behead them.  Or borrow my nephew's axe to chop it."

Steve shook his head.  "Don't we have weapons that can do that?"

"If I'm at the right angle I could," Tony agreed.  "My suit has a laser.  The problem would be getting to it before it got any snacks."

"They can only happen during an eclipse," Thor said.

"So we can track that," Fury decided.  "That'll help a lot."  He handed over files.  "Dawn has been courted by this one recently.  Hawkeye caught him coming onto her last night."

"She said there had been one when she took off the wire," Steve said.  He read it over.  "Anything we can use?"

"His brother works in my company," Tony said.  "Pepper should be sending over his file soon."  Dawn walked past and handed over copies.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  And his sister as well."  She winked at Thor.  "You've met her.  She works at that stable you favor to go watch."  She strolled off.

"I can cancel your vacation," Fury called after her.

"Then I'll wear the bikini around here to sunbathe," she quipped with a wave over her shoulder.

"Damn it," he muttered.  "I can't scare that girl for anything."

"I think her sister is probably scarier," Steve admitted.  He looked over the files.  "Do we think it's coincidence, like how Xander draws them, or do we think they planned it?"

"No clue," Fury admitted.  He paged the others to come join them.  Dawn had made copies for them too because they brought them in.  "Any idea if it's coincidence or not?"

"Not," Barton said, putting down a few forms.  "He didn't show up in New York until after the battle.  After people knew about us.  His sister only started to work at the stable after Thor started to watch the riding lessons there."  He sat down.

Natasha looked them over.  "His sibling in Stark's lab has been there longer but we think he's there as an industrial spy, but he has no access to anything decent."

"So they searched out Dawn as a way in?" Tony guessed.

"No," Barton said.  "They want Dawn thanks to the Council passing on that she's scarily powerful and potentially useful.  HYDRA has always wanted magic to work."

"Dawn's one hell of an artifact," Tony agreed.  "So they do want her."  They both nodded.  "Any idea if there's further plans?"

"So far it looks like they're treating her like a silly girl," Natasha said.  "Trying to lure her in with a boyfriend of bad choice.  Dawn being an ice princess helps thwart that."

"Where is she going to school so I can make some surveillance plans?" Fury asked.

"NYU.  She's accepted there so she can continue to work for Stark part time," Natasha said with a smile.  "Her second choice was Yale but she considers it too confining and safe."

"That's even better," Fury decided.  "Dawn!"  She came back with a coffee for herself and sat down between Natasha and Clint in the free seat.  "They want you."

"Figures since HYDRA tried to take out the monks."  She sipped her coffee, leaning back.  "The monks managed to cast enough of a concealment so they never found them.  Mussolini almost did.  He had people raiding the village to get the monks for his allies but they never found the monastery."

"How long have you known that?" Tony asked.

"You never asked and I'm already a bit paranoid thanks to Sunnydale stuff."

"Good point.  We never asked.  Any other groups that want you?" Tony asked.

"Beyond the Council setting a price on my head to capture me?  The Russians who still think I'd make a great employee in their brothels?"  Tony rolled his eyes.  "That was all because of the Council.  Which Buffy complained about until I pointed out it was her fault.  Then she shut up again and quit complaining about things I didn't start."  She took another sip.  "The crazy knights from that order are still be around and may try to take me out.  That's all I can think of.  The last time someone really wanted the Key as a power source was back in the BC times.  One of the Persian kings wanted to capture it and mount it on his staff to show his power.  One of the Egyptian groups conquered them before they could make a try."

"Crazy knights," Clint said.  "Armor, look like the old Templar pictures?  Old style bow and arrows?"  She nodded.  "Saw one in town."

"Me too.  We had a talk and I let him go after pointing out Glory was destroyed and couldn't come back for over a thousand years.  He thinks I'm still dangerous but I pointed out I had control over the Key, not it controlling me, and I was working against all the demonic menaces that happen in this world.  He said he'd tell the head of the order but I'm not holding out great hope.  Xander thinks he'll have to go stomp them."

"That's our job," Stark reminded her.

She smiled.  "They're still living in the middle ages.  Iron Man might scare the crap out of them."

"Even better," Fury said.  "Any chance they'd team up with HYDRA?"

"No.  They're there to take me out so that no one can use me. Even if one or two wanted to so they'd get closer to me, they'd turn on them as soon as they had me."  She looked at Natasha.  "I need curtains.  Sears?"

"That shop by the shoe store."

"I can look there."  Tony stared at her.  He knew that tone of voice from her trying to hide things in the past.  She smiled and put the dart on the table.  "Into my kitchen window this morning."

He looked it over.  "Poisoned?"

"Not now.  I had the lab run it and clean it so it could be bagged up."  She handed Clint an arrow.  "In my car's trunk this morning."

He looked it over.  "Not for multi-string tension bows.  This is for single string long bows."

"They use horse long bows from what I've seen," Dawn said.

"That gives me an advantage against them," he decided, putting it on the table.  He took the dart, looking it over.  "Again, simplistic but effective.  Very old school."  Dawn nodded.  "That's fine.  We can find them and see if we can get them to give up or deport them."

"Remember watching _The Mummy 2_ and the curator at the museum?"  He nodded.  "They're here too.  That's how they got into the US.  He shipped them as artifacts."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Natasha asked.

"You never asked to be told about them and I was handling it okay.  I just need curtains."

"If they break in?" Fury said dryly.

"Then I hit my emergency switch and blip out of there."

"Good point," he admitted.  "Is it ours?"

"No, it's a Stark Labs one," Tony said.  "I'm updating that."

"I live three blocks from the lab.  The only way there's a higher response time is if I'm in the building."

"Good point.  Still, it could be touchier."

"Then I'd set it off by accident in my purse.  I have it inside a pepper spray holder so I can't hit it by accident."

He nodded.  "Fine.  You're going to brief security."

"I did when I saw the first one.  And the one here."  She smiled.  "I'm a practical girl, boss."

"You are and I like that about you even if you do nag."  He smiled.  She grinned back.

"Security should've told me by now," Fury said, making that note.  Dawn sent a text message to them.  "Thank you, Dawn."  He looked at her then at Stark.  "Her apartment secure enough for her time at NYU?"

"I'm not moving.  I'm in a rent controlled place," she said.  "With a real bedroom and a real bathroom with a real tub.  I'm not moving.  I'll fucking commute for hours before I move."  Fury burst out laughing.  Coulson brought in the file from security.  "They told you?"

"Of course.  Anything that bothers you or Tara they tell me first."   He looked at the two things on the table then at her.  "They showed up?"

"This morning's presents.  I about changed half of them into mice but I was running late."

"Great."  He looked at Fury.  "We've been working on tracking the group."

"Natural history museum."

"I saw."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "Anything else?"

"HYDRA wants her," Steve said quietly.

"That figures," Coulson admitted.  "Especially with their focus on the supernatural back during the war."  Steve smiled.  Coulson let out a tiny one back.  "They can't have her."

"They've been moving closer to trying to seduce her," Tony said, handing over that file.

He read it, nodding slightly.  Clint handed over what he had.  "You need to switch clubs."

"I do go to the other one but that's got the slimy pimp trying to take over.  I don't want caught in the middle."  Xander appeared, handing her a note, then left holding his head.  "Looks like a vision."  She read it and sighed.  "Someone wants to sacrifice me for just a regular blood rite because I'm a virgin witch."  She handed it to Phil.  He rolled his eyes and handed it on.  "If we catch me there and they're about to bring me out, talk me into becoming ineligible, no matter who's there, okay?"

"You could do that now," Natasha said.

"I'd rather wait if possible.  I'd like to be actually dating instead of just picking up in the club.  Or hiring someone since Xander suggested that.  I was raised to be a good girl who only gave it up for the boyfriend."

"Which we all appreciate but if you have a hint that it's coming, fix it," Fury said.

"Sure.  Actually I might already not be totally eligible."  Tony gave her an odd look.  "No hymen to prove I'm virginal."

"I don't need to know that."

"You wanted to know that."

"Want and need, two different things," Tony assured her.

"At least I'm not lusting after someone like Angel.  Look how my sister's first time turned out."

"I'd make a joke about it being really bad but he did lose his soul because he was happy it was so bad," Tony quipped.  Dawn nodded.  Thor looked at them like he was confused.  "Her sister Buffy?"  Thor nodded.  "Her first boyfriend was the cursed vampire Angelus.  Angel when he had his soul.  They slept together, it released the curse, and his soul left."

Thor shook his head.  "My nephew should find a warrior who would please you for life," he complained.

"Still have to go to college because my mother wants me to," Dawn quipped.  "And no babies coming unless I do a lot of magic."

Thor considered it.  "If you liked girls, Alexander's half-sister is apparently breaking up with her wife.  Or so the rumors state."

"Nope, sorry.  I'm probably a stick drivin' woman, Thor.  Never really wondered how girls squeal."

"Must you?" Fury demanded.

"Is there a more delicate way to answer that?" she countered.

"Just say I never wondered?" Steve suggested, his head ducked to hide the blush.

"I'm sorry, Steve," she apologized.  "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Thank you."  He looked at her.  "Your hair is down."

"I pulled it down before came back in."

"I thought it was up."

"No, it was pushed back."  She pushed it back and he nodded.  "There's some hairspray to keep it in place when I had it up.  I'll put it back up in a minute."  She looked at Thor.  "No marrying me off.  If I find a husband it'll be because I tracked him, trapped him, and stuffed him."

"Fine," he complained.  "Arranged ones are much easier."

"Not really.  If I didn't like him he'd probably die."  Thor nodded that was true.  "I haven't met a one of you yet that was married happily."

"Aye, that can happen," he admitted.  "Fine.  It is your choice."

"Thank you."

"It's a damn soap opera at times," Fury complained.

Dawn smiled.  "As sands through the hourglass so are the days of ours lives."  Natasha poked her hard.  "Hey!"

"Be more serious."

"Fine."  She looked at Fury.  "What do you want me to do about them?"

"HYDRA?  Trap them, let us bring them in," Fury ordered.

"He's going to visit me in Miami."

"That's fine.  We can work that out.  We'll put the others under surveillance."  Tony nodded he was having someone do that already.  "You do?"

"Yup.  Happy arranged it behind all of our backs because he thought that one of them was hitting on Dawn.  Not one of this family but one other one."  He pulled up his personnel file, handing it over.

"Germ doc," Steve said.

"Shit, he'll want Xander," Dawn said quietly, glancing around.  Fury and everyone stared at her.  "Um, Thanksgiving?  Initiative year thanksgiving?  Native Americans?"

Thor frowned.  "I had not heard of anything."

"I have," Tony said, shaking his head.  "You're right, he would.  Can we test that?"

"I'm not Xander."

"Good point.  Xander?"  He reappeared, looking like hell.  "Another vision?"

"Mom showed up to nag while I was trying to nap it off.  She's off crying again.  What's wrong?"  Tony showed him that profile.  "I saw him trying to lurk around Dawn and warned him if he touched her I was going to stomp them all.  Then I introduced myself properly."  He grinned and pulled up a news story, handing the phone back.

"We want to test it," Fury said.

"Your lab has bigger leaks than the Titanic and so does Stark's."

"We can have it run independently," Coulson said.

"Sure, if you want."  He disappeared.

"There's a demigod healer as a doctor on Atlantis," Coulson said.

"He'd do it and not blab," Fury agreed.  "Arrange it."  He nodded, walking off to call out there.  "Roughly how many, Dawn?"

"Anya thought the one he was showing symptoms of might've been either smallpox or an advanced, ancient form of syphilis but as soon as the spirits left so did the diseases.  That lasted about a day after he fell into the burial chamber."

"So probably antibodies," Steve said.

"Probably," she agreed.  "We thought so but we weren't secure enough to test it and we weren't going to let the Initiative know.  It was bad enough Riley witnessed it.  They might've tried to take Xander if they wanted to know."

"Good point," Steve agreed.  "I totally agree on not telling anyone.  That's probably dangerous."

"Depends on what he got given," Clint said.  "There's a high trade in some things."

"Strains that old the modern treatments might not work on," Tony said.  "I'm not totally sure but I think treatments are tailored to the strain."

"We can test that too," Fury assured him.  "Any other surprises, Dawn?"

She smiled.  "Buffy's hair showed clomid too."  Stark shuddered.  "I had it tested and immediately had her take a pill pack and a pee test.  She's not pregnant.  She's talking to a doctor today to make sure it can't happen.  She's going to Carolyn."

"Good!" Stark agreed.  "I love Callia but still."

"It probably wouldn't be yours.  They know what your daughter with Buffy can do," Natasha said.  "They would use a different one.  Xander's?" she asked Dawn.

"No, Xander's got that not totally human thing going."

"We'll keep an eye on her," Fury decided, making that note.  "Any advancement on that?  Dawn, how is your mother?"

"On the germ free floor right now.  They removed the bigger mass and found a secondary one starting.  Whoever hit her with the shot this time hit way too much into her.  And I'm going to kill them for hurting my mother."

Fury nodded.  "We can applaud."

"Thanks."  She shifted to cross her feet.  "Excuse me, I think I need to hit the bathroom."  She got up, glancing at the chair as she walked off.

"She'll be back later," Tony said at Thor's confused look.  "Girl things."

"Oh!"  He nodded quickly.  "My own sister just suddenly spouts like a faucet as well.  I will never understand girl things."

"Most men don't," Tony assured him.  He looked at Fury.  "So....  Where do we start?"

"I'm sending agents to deal with the family," he decided.  "Get me that intel file as soon as you can."

"I already sent over a request for it."

"Good.  The rest of you, make a plan for when he shows up in Miami."  He looked at Natasha.  "Rate the girl."

"No.  She does not want to be an agent.  She has good reasons for not wanting to be an agent."  Fury walked off rolling his eyes.  Tony looked at her.  "She does."

"I know.  Will that alarm catch this?"

"Perhaps.  I'll send her home for the day."  She went to tell Dawn that.  She found her nearly doubled over in the bathroom.  "Are you that ill?"

"Cramps," she muttered.

"Go home.  Soak or whatever to guard it."  She nodded, disappearing from there.  Natasha checked, there was no spare blood in the bathroom to set off the alarms.

***

Dawn limped up to Pepper that night, handing over a medical excuse.  She limped off.

"Want driven?" she asked.

"I've got a cab waiting.  Thanks."  She got into the elevator and went back down.  Someone got into it with her.  She stared at him.  "Great, just what I need."  The driver turned around.  Another knight.  "Guys, I'm in good control.  Glorificus is dead.  Nothing and no one can use me."

"And yet you leak magic even now," the knight beside her said firmly.

She looked at him.  "I'm sure you've seen women having their periods before."  He blushed but nodded.  "That's what I'm doing right now.  I take medicine to ease it as much as I can.  I clean up so no one can get it.  The only group that might want me that way is HYDRA and one kooky cult because I'm magical, not because of the Key."

"Still, we think you are dangerous," he said.  She disappeared before he could stab her.

"We have ones waiting there," the driver said, driving off.  This new fangled machine was quite interesting.

***

Dawn reappeared inside the tower, leaning against Pepper.  "I hate knights."

"Shit," she said, pressing her alarm switch.  There was a huge spot of blood on Dawn's side.  Guards came running.  "Get her medical.  It looks like she was stabbed."

Dawn looked at the guard.  "The knights.  They were in the cab.  They're in my closet.  I think they're trying on my shoes."  He nodded, calling someone to head over there to deal with them.  She let Pepper sit her down.  "Guys, kinda dizzy," she told the building's nurse.  "Had to get something done to stop the clotting earlier and now I've got a tiny pinprick on my side."

"We can handle it," she assured her, helping her lie down so they could roll her off.

Tony came jogging up the hall.  "What happened?"

"Crackhead knights.  I think they're trying on my heels."

"We sent someone," Pepper assured him.  She followed.  "You had better be all right.  I'm not telling your mother."

"Don't tell Buffy either.  She'll try to blame it on me too."  She took Pepper's hand when she tried to shift.  "Ow."

"Relax.  We'll get you cleaned up," Pepper soothed.  Dawn nodded, letting her eyes drift shut.  Pepper went into the exam room with her.  "The medical excuse said she had to get scraped due to all the clots," she said, finding it and handing it over.

"We can keep a watch on that."  They handled Dawn's side injury fairly easily and let her rest.  They had a nice, comfortable infirmary for lab accidents and Stark injuries.

Pepper pulled a chair over with her foot and sat down, letting Dawn cling to her for now.

***

Fury answered his phone.  "What?"  He listened.  "Why did the alarm go off at Stark Tower?  Let me know when you do know!"  He hung up.  On a hunch he called Coulson's cellphone.  "Why is the alarm going off at Stark Tower?"  He listened.  "Excuse me?  And we didn't notice this....  Uh-huh.  So they're blending in.  Are you going there or where?"  He nodded.  "Fine.  Let me know.  I want kept in the loop."  He hung up and called Natasha.  "Help Coulson."  He hung up and got back to the paperwork.  He'd miss Dawn if she died.  She was the only one who really stood up and told him he was a jackass.  She made good coffee too.

***

Dawn blinked awake, trying to focus on the person above her.  "Am I in the infirmary?"

"Yeah," Barton said.  "You are."

"Yay," she said sarcastically.  She pushed back her hair and looked around.  "I'm at the Stark infirmary.  Good.  Doctor Grabby Hands isn't here."  He laughed.  She made herself sit up, swatting at him.  "I'm fine."

"You're not fine.  You got stabbed."

"They were waiting in my apartment when I got away.  How much damage did they do?"

"None.  Your security system released sleeping gas," he said.  "Coulson was very proud that system worked as Stark said it would."  She grinned.  "You're under observation until tomorrow."

"Wonderful.  I'll work some healing so I don't have a huge scar."

"Later.  They said no magic tonight."

She snorted.  "Whatever."  He grinned.  "Any other good news?"

"Not yet.  We're trying to find the rest of the knights."

"I can take my vacation early if it'll help."

"No, you can't.  No one's letting you go early because then Fury growls more."

Tony walked in looking up from his reading.  "You're right, they were trying on your shoes and one was looking at your dresses like they were confused."

"Yay," she said.  "How many more?"

"At least a good dozen.  We're working on it with the NYPD."  He stared at her.  "You sure you don't want to move?"

"I'm not living underground somewhere.  I'd go nuts without sunlight.  I'm also not spending my whole paycheck on rent.  I'd miss the occasional bout of grocery shopping."

"There's one on the next block."

"It's a seniors only place.  I looked there."

"Fine."

"I'm usually safe there."

"Not really.  We found three brand news listening devices.  Planted since the last security sweep two days ago."  She growled.  "All in your bathroom for some reason."

"Maybe they like hearing me sing in the tub."  She looked at her side.  "Why no magic?"

"You're weak from the blood loss?" he guessed.

She waved a hand.  "Not hardly.  Just mildly dizzy."  She concentrated and the wound healed, leaving a tiny, pale scar.  She frowned.  "I'll have to cover that up."

"It'll fade in a few weeks and there's scar bleaching kits," Tony said, looking at it.  "Can you do that on others?"

"Not as effectively.  I never learned that from Tara.  She said it's really hard and you can draw the injuries into yourself instead."

"Good to know."  He touched it.  "The scar's barely visible."

"With a tan?"

"Still probably barely visible."  She nodded.  "You're awfully concerned about that."

Dawn yawned and blinked at him.  "If I'm not, I'm not really eighteen, am I?"

"Good point.  And guys hate scars."  She nodded.  "It's something most girls your age have to worry about.  You hardly have any."

"That's my sixth and the others I've managed to get to fade.  I'll work on that one later."  She looked at Clint.  "Thank you for watching me sleep."

"Welcome, Short Stuff."  He smirked.  "Not everyone minds scars."

"I've got to freak out some guy some year about the key stuff.  The scars would make them run.  Guys can only handle so much weird shit."

"True," he agreed.  "Some of them are very scared of it.  Rest."

"I'm going to."  She yawned.  "Some days I'd like to be a more normal eighteen-year-old.  It seems easier and less paranoid than demons and magic."  She drifted off.

Tony sighed, looking at the agent.  "I agree.  Sometimes she's got to be a normal eighteen-year-old girl."

"I know.  I was never one but I remember wanting to be normal at that stage too."  He stood up.  "Staying?"

"Pepper's coming.  I'm horrible at bedside stuff."  They waited until Pepper came in with dinner and then left.

Barton went to talk to Natasha and Coulson.  "Dawn said it'd be nice to be a normal eighteen-year-old girl sometimes."

"She does try very hard," Phil agreed.  "If she didn't have to worry about the magic and demon stuff it'd be easier.  She could flirt without worrying who they were with."

"I wanted that option at one time," Natasha agreed.  "I even got it for a while and then it comes back."

Clint nodded.  "Can we take some of the stress off her?"

"If we could get the things that want to threaten her, yes," Phil said.  "We need those knights gone for good."  They nodded.  "We need that family with HYDRA gone and we need to know if the rest know about her.  That cult bothers me but I'm sure we can stop them in time.  Xander's vision didn't have a location or a time code."  He looked around her apartment.  "We need to get her somewhere safer.  She was sure it was safe enough even when Xander told her it was too open."

"We both live on base," Clint told him.

"Mine's about empty half the time," Phil admitted.  "My closet would never hold her clothes.  It's tiny."  Natasha smiled at that admission.  "I'll put out feelers.  I know she picked this one because of the tub. It's deep enough for a good soak."  That got a nod.  They could all comb their contacts.  He knew what she paid for her bills.

***

Dawn sat up the next morning, looking around.  "Can I escape?" she called.

"Ten more minutes," the nurse called.

"Okay."  She looked over as the curtain around her room opened and Phil walked in.  She grinned.  "Morning.  I'm not jogging today."

"I agree, you're not."  He handed her a t-shirt and jeans.  "Natasha picked them out."

"Cool."  She wiggled into the pants under her hospital gown then shifted to put on the shirt once she had taken the gown off.  Phil nicely looked away.  She slid it down with a sigh of pleasure.

"What's that mark on your back?" he asked.  He touched above it.

She looked in the mirror across from her, shifting to see it.  "Branch lash.  I was in the park and some lady lost her dog.  I was trying to help her.  That should've healed though.  That was last week."

He looked.  "It looks like a skin scraping," he said quietly.  The nurse walked in and shot him then stabbed Dawn before she could move.  The needle's contents knocked her out almost instantly.  The nurse took Dawn with her.

Coulson managed to hit his emergency switch before passing out.  She had been mean and hit him on the thigh.  Just off the femoral so he wouldn't bleed to death.

The head guard rushed in.  "Dawn's missing!  So's the shift nurse."  They shut the building down to stop her.  By then the nurse was pushing the wheelchair Dawn was in through the parking garage.  Cars and SUV's sped in and blocked off all the exits.  Agents piled in to save the young damsel in distress.  Who was snoring.  The nurse shot herself instead of giving up.  One of the agents checked and started CPR.  She had a bad shot but not fatal if treated.  One of the guards got the doctor down to operate.  They could save her so they could talk to her.

Dawn kept snoring.  Even when an agent tried to wake her.  He sighed and got her into the SUV, locking her in there.  It was obvious she was drugged.

An hour later, once the scene was cleaned up, the guard supervisor looked around, counting agents.  "Where's Blevins?"  Everyone looked around.  "Someone count cars."  One of the senior agents did that, coming back shaking his head.  "He said he locked Summers in an SUV."

"She's not there.  There's a gap in the line, sir."  He pointed at it.

"Fuck!" he said.  "Someone track that SUV!"

Stark walked off the elevator, handing over a slip.  "They're stalled on the turnpike thanks to a massive wreck I had caused."  They sped off to find her.  "I wonder which one this one was," he complained.  He went up to the infirmary.  "Any idea who yet?" he demanded.

Coulson was awake and glaring.  "They took a skin scraping."

"So the douchebags," he decided.  "Wonderful.  They took her from the SUV an agent stuffed her in.  They're tied up with a wreck."

"Good.  She can come camp on my couch tonight," Coulson said.

Stark snorted.  "Pepper said she's staying here tonight.  I'm not arguing with Pepper since she's playing with a steak knife.  If you want to argue with Pepper, you go right ahead."  A few of the guards laughed but shut up when he looked at them.  "You can camp on the couch."  He walked off to tell Pepper that.  Before she had the promised stroke over all this drama.  "They took a skin sample."

"I called Fury.  No one can find Doctor Banner."

"I thought he was downstairs," he said.  She relaxed.  He smiled.  "Let us handle it.  You go make her a nest."  She nodded, going to do that.   It had been Obadiah's old suite but he was dead after turning on them so Dawn could borrow it for now.

***

Dawn blinked.  There had just been a bright light that had woken her up.  "What the fuck," she muttered.  "I'm having vampire hamsters crawl up someone's ass."  She got up and walked over to the door.  Locked of course.  She kicked and someone raced toward her.  She could hear the running.  She timed her last kick until they were outside.  Then the door came off the hinges and she stomped out.  She grabbed whoever's gun and moved toward an exit, firing at the people shooting.

"Dawn?" Steve called.  "It's us."

"She's the only person I know who got kidnaped from a kidnaping from another kidnaping attempt," Tony Stark complained.  He darted her.  It was safer since she was clearly only semi lucid.  "She's got good instincts though.  Very handy."

"Very," Natasha said, looking proud.  She had trained them into the girl and Dawn had just done her proud.  Even if they had all nearly been shot by her.

"Some decade in the future I want kids that're just as scary as she is without the magic," Barton joked.

"She's single," Tony reminded him.

"I'm too old for her."

"Probably, yes," Coulson said over their headset.  "Bring Dawn here, people.  Pepper has a nice suite set up to nap it off in."

"Going," Stark said.  He walked over to pick her up, flying her off.  The suit could cushion any air turbulence for her so she shouldn't wake up and fight him.  He hastily tried to adjust her shirt because it was riding up.  "I don't need to see that."  He landed a few minutes later and handed her to Pepper.  "I tried to fix it."

"It happens."  She walked her off, talking quietly to her.  Dawn was mumbling back.  "No, Buffy won't blame you for it.  It was the Initiative weenies, I promise."  Dawn pouted.  "I know.  It's hard being you.  Your sister blames you for everything."  She got her into the suite and tucked her in.  "There, you nap, Dawn."  Dawn nodded, making grabby hands.  "I'll let Phil come sleep on the couch."  Pepper squeaked when she was pulled down.  A guard looked in.  He grinned.  She scowled so he backed out.  "It's all right.  We'll make sure no one touches you ever again."  Dawn mumbled and pouted.  "Except a boy, yes.  They can touch you if you want."  She got happier and fell deeper into sleep.  It let Pepper get free.  She straightened herself out in the bathroom them came out to find Phil Coulson being walked in.  "She's in bed," she said quietly.

"Thank you.  I'll nap here."

"We'll have guards on the hallway," she promised.  She left them to heal and be grumpy at each other.  She'd send down dinner from the Thai place that they liked.

Phil looked in there.  "Dawn, I'm here on the couch," he called.  She sighed in pleasure and wiggled.  "No jammies, Dawn."  She threw off the t-shirt anyway and he fled before he got to see more than he needed to.  He heard the jeans hit the floor and it was all right.  He got a good nap before someone knocked and a guard walked in a bag.  "Thai?"  With the spices he could smell it had to be.

"From Ms. Potts."

"Thank you."  He took it and the guard left.  He sniffed and put it beside him.  They could eat when they woke up.  Dawn getting up would wake him.  So did Barton when he walked in to check on them at midnight.  He nearly got shot for it too.  "What?" he complained.

"Guards said they can't find Dawn on the cameras," he said quietly.  He snuck over to look in the bedroom, frowning.  He moved in, finding the bathroom light on and her asleep in the tub.  He left before he got more of an eyeful.  "She's in the tub."

"That's fine.  I can wake her in a bit to eat."  Barton nodded, leaving them alone.  Coulson put up his sidearm and got comfortable, pulling some food over to inhale.  "Dawn?" he called quietly.  He heard a splash but she turned on more water.  It shut off automatically since she was snoring again.  The beauty of a smart house he guessed.  He left Dawn's food in the bedroom and glanced in on her before going back to his couch.  "We really have to end that program," he muttered between bites.  He was starving for some reason.

***

Dawn wandered out in the morning nibbling her food, wrapped in a fluffy white towel.  She grunted at Phil and whoever the big blurry figure was in her way.  She poked him with the plastic fork, making him move.  She got coffee and went back to her room.

Thor shook his head.  "At least the towel covers more than some of her dresses."

"Dawn, Pepper had someone grab your clothes," Phil called.  "Please get dressed?"  A t-shirt got tossed at him.  "Thank you."  He got up carefully to go shower.  He had an emergency bag packed.  He came out to find her staring at her closet in confusion.  "Pepper had them gotten."  She grunted and nodded.  "We're at Stark Tower.  Put on something to lounge around in."

She found some lounging jammies and put them on, coming out in that outfit.  It was pink frogs on the dark green satin material, capri pants and a strappy tank top.  She grunted at him.  He smiled and got her more coffee.  "Too many drugs yesterday."  She blinked at him.  "The nurse was part of the new Initiative."  She nodded, sniffing the coffee before inhaling it.  "Then someone took you from her, we think he's from the same group?" he asked the guard leaning in.

"Yes, sir.  He was.  The ones that took her from him during that wreck were linked back to the Russian Mafia."  Dawn growled.  "Good morning, Miss Summers."  She blinked at him.  "You're safe.  We have guards on the hall.  You're at work but Pepper said to stay in here and when you're more awake you can do your history paper early."  She grunted and nodded.  "Rest for now, Miss Summers."  He closed the door.

Phil got a dirty look from Dawn.  "I didn't do it."

"Why are you injured?  You never dress down that much unless you're sick or injured."

"The nurse that knocked you out."  She frowned, reaching for her back.  "We found the sample and destroyed it."  She hugged him and leaned on his arm, falling asleep again.  He smiled.  "I'll explain it again when you wake back up."

Thor shook his head.  "She is very strong.  Nearly shot all of us getting away from them.  What is a Russian Mafia?"

"Ask Natasha," Phil said quietly.  "She's taken down some of them before."  Thor smiled and nodded, leaving them to relax and heal together.  He knew he liked her like a sister with the way she was drooling.  He cleaned it up and wiped off his hand.  She blinked a few times, shifted, then curled up in a little ball beside him.  "Rest, kiddo.  I'm here and awake.  They're not coming back."  She moaned but patted him and fell asleep again.  He snagged the rest of her food and ate it for her.  Didn't want it to go to waste after all.

***

Buffy looked at Wes as he walked into the house she had rented in Cleveland.  "What's up?"

"New news on the mafia problem's with Dawn."

"Why?" she moaned, holding her head.

"The Council put out a price on her head," he reminded her.  She glared at him.  "To capture her so they could separate the key from her, Buffy.  They were going to kill her.  The mafia took the contract to get her and were going to use her in their ...well let's just say in some very unsavory ways."

"I heard someone say they ran brothels," Buffy said quietly.

"They do and since Dawn is pure as it were."  He trailed off.  "She's fine.  They rescued her.  The new Council has been stopped by the government in the UK."  Buffy smiled at that news.  "The mafia connection they made is getting many people upset.  Dawn is fine.  They sedated her fairly heavily."

"Good!  Why are they picking on her?"

"She wasn't the standard victim."

"She's had plenty of experience," she complained.

"Yes, which often leads back to the connection with the supernatural community," he said dryly.  "Though one did lead to the Initiative people trying to restart and breed future heros."

Buffy grimaced. "Is my daughter safe?"

"Quite.  Her new nanny is a former Marine."

"Good.  I guess but probably good?"  He nodded.  She smiled.  "What else is new news?"

"I managed a few words with Dawn on the way here.  She's still a bit out of it from the drugging.  She mentioned she's going on vacation to Miami."

Buffy sighed.  "She gets a vacation?"

"Yes, of course she does.  She's also going to NYU starting this fall.  On her own paycheck."  Buffy smiled and nodded.  "Now, how is your mother?"

"She's doing okay but she's worried about Dawn being around all those fighting sorts."

"If she hadn't I dare say she wouldn't have made it out of a few of those things that got her."

"I guess that's a point.  She said one of the agents is like a huge big brother.  Even bigger at it than Xander is.  He tries to have her put on pants and knee-length skirts, and no heels.  He's very against heels."

"I saw a delightful picture of Dawn out at a club in quite a tasteful dress," he said, finding the paper online to show her.  She gaped.  "That I believe is Captain Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America."

"Wow.  That's a seven hundred dollar dress."

"She does earn quite a salary," he reminded her.

"I guess she does.  I should've done that instead of attempt to suck up college."  He patted her on the arm.  "She's really okay?"

"She's fine.  Your daughter is in to coo over her today."

"Good!"  She sat down and looked at him.  "Why are the magic users gathering?"

"There's a cult that's going to try to a sacrifice to bring a higher demon.  The demon will most likely need those artifacts to keep him solid for his first few days."

"Can we stop them?"

"Yes.  Especially since they heard your sister is a witch of some sort, and virginal for their needs, so they could harm you by taking her as the sacrifice."

"Oh, wonderful!" she sneered.  "Let's go end them."

"They're human.  We're getting help from agents," he said simply.  "They'll be in with Giles."  She relaxed and nodded, grinning at him.  "For now, go eat something.  You're much too thin, and then take a rest."  She nodded, heading to the kitchen to get something to eat and nap with.  He settled in to look over what she already had here.  The Council had truly screwed the whole kennel of pooches this time.  Especially after giving Dawn to that cult.

***

Dawn blinked awake, smiling at her niece, who was snuggled into her side.  She shifted and cuddled better, then grimaced and got her up to change her.  "Just an accident," she soothed at the fussing.  "You're okay."  Callia grinned and they went back to their nap, only on the other side of the bed this time.  Callia was fully awake so Dawn told her a story about superheroes and girls who kicked ass.

Phil was still on the couch smiling at the silly story.  Callia was an adorable child.  Of all the Starks and most of the personnel, he thought he might like Callia the best.  Even if she did call him Fi-Fi most of the time for some reason.

***

Dawn came out the next morning with Callia changed and looking ready for work.  Phil stared at her from where he was resting.  She checked his forehead and got one of the nurses down to change the bandage.  He had refused to let her and they had taped it down too hard for him to pull off without a knife or scissors, which Dawn wasn't allowed to give him.  The nurse came in.  "Let me take her to Daddy."  She strolled out.  Callia was babbling and waving at people, who mostly smiled and waved back.

Doctor Banner stopped them.  "I have not met you yet."

"Doctor Banner, this is Callia Stark, heir to the throne as it were."  Dawn grinned and poked her.  "This is Doctor Bruce.  Can you tell him hi, Callia?"

"Hi!" she said with a smile and a wave.  "Pretty."

"Yes you are."  She giggled and hugged him then her auntie.  Dawn winked and moved on.  He smiled, you had to smile.  Callia was a perky, adorable child.  He went back to his lab to ask about her.  He had heard the NID made Stark a daughter.  Her being Buffy's daughter too explained a lot about Dawn babysitting while injured.

Dawn walked into the main office.  "Hi, She, hi, Sti," Callia called, smiling and waving.

"Hi, Callia," the two lower assistants called, smiling and waving back.  "Dawn, good to have you up and around."

"I was only out on the sedative they used."  She shrugged.  "It happens.  Especially to me."  They smiled at her.  "They arguing yet?"

"Yes."  Dawn walked the baby in there.

"Dawn, when is your graduation?"

"Eighteenth."

"Xander thought it was the next weekend," Stark complained.

"I haven't sent out invitations yet.  I was going to do it today after I picked them up."  She handed the baby to Daddy, who let her sit in his lap and help him update his datebook.  She looked at Pepper.  "I was good, I didn't help Phil get past the nurses."

"Good girl."  She smiled.  "You're off today."

"I was off yesterday.  I can fill in for today."

"You were on injury leave," Pepper said.

Dawn looked at her.  "Since when does injury leave count during problems?"  She shrugged and moved to straighten out Tony's desk, reaching over to synch his system for him.  It synched his, Pepper's, and hers with the two out in the main hallway's schedules.  Dawn fixed the one problem mention for everyone and resynched it.  That fixed it and they all smiled at her.  "Okay, what am I doing today beyond filing, going to hover in accounting because they've got to finish that budget projection so it can be looked over, and then have lunch with my niece since she's local?"

"That's about a full day for you," Pepper agreed.  "If you have spare time, take Natasha to the range."

Dawn smiled.  "Okay, I can do that."  Callia pouted at her.  "I have to work.  I'll see you in a while?"  The baby pouted and sniffled pitifully.  "Sure, we'll go deliver papers together."  She got the backpack carrier the nanny used for jogging in the park and put it on, letting Pepper put the baby into it.  "C'mon, niece.  That way you know how it'll work when I'm your super assistant sort."  Callia laughed but she enjoyed Dawn's hair being down so she could play with it.

Pepper smiled at Tony.  "She's a very good aunt."

"She is a very good aunt, especially with the nanny off today.  I was going to see if Callia liked the lab."

"We can do that later.  After you've destroyed some more things."  She left.  "Ladies, Callia insisted on going with her aunt," she told the two lesser assistants.  "She'll come back later to help her father in the lab."  They nodded.  "The nanny's off today."

"If he yelps for help with her, we'll call Dawn," one of them agreed.

"Thank you."  She went to her own office.  Dawn was already straightening things out, filing what needed to go, and was then off to accounting and deliver files to HR and two other offices.

The secretary in accounting looked.  "Isn't that Stark's daughter?" she asked.

"Callia's my niece too.  She wanted me today."  She shrugged and grinned, patting the baby.  Who was knotting her hair but cooing happily while doing it.  "Nanny's day off."

"Wonderful.  At least babies are good birth control."

"Can't have any anyway," Dawn admitted, getting a pitied look.  "I can always adopt or something when I'm settled in a long-term thing."  She smiled.  "Budget?  Any hope?"

"Not likely for today."

"Pepper wanted it today."

"I'll let her know."

"Thanks.  I'll check back in an hour to see if she has an updated timetable.  We're going to check on medical to make sure they're all better."  She strolled off.

The secretary went to talk to her boss.  "Dawn has Callia."

"I heard Stark knocked up Buffy by needle insertion," she admitted.  "Or someone did it for them."  She looked up.  "Dawn's had Callia a few times.  She swears up and down she'll be Callia's version of Pepper, without the UST."  The secretary giggled.  "Why was she here?"

"Pepper's nagging about the budget."

"I'll get on the team doing it."  She walked out to talk to them.  The secretary got to gossip.  She didn't know that Dawn was that connected.  No wonder she got the high powered internship before graduating.  She heard back that it was because Dawn's mother was ill so that was doubly a shame but at least the girl had Pepper to look up to.  Pepper wasn't off saving the world or anything creepy like that.

***

Dawn walked lunch into the suite and looked at Phil, who was snoring.  She smiled at the baby, who wiggled so she let her down.  Callia was climbing up Phil when he woke up.  "Lunch?"

"Please."  He sat up, giving her the hug she wanted.  "You're a better way to wake up than most I've had."  The baby beamed and decided to eat from his lap.  Dawn gave her a pointed look and pointed at the plate.  "I think she wants you to eat at the table."

Callia shook her head.  "No!"  She smiled and patted Phil on the chest, putting her head down.  "Fi-Fi tick."

"Yes he is," Dawn agreed.  "Which is why he needs to eat, not help you eat.  You can eat with me."  She ended up on the floor with Callia, eating at the coffee table.  Phil was behind them so that soothed her.  Though she kept looking outside and scowling.  Dawn looked that way.  "Huh."  She closed the curtains and shoved the couch out of the way, tapping her earpiece.  "Security, Summers.  Callia spotted a sniper across the street from the suite we're in.  Curtains are closed and people moved."  She hung up and they got back to eating.

One of the guards came in to look.  The rest were heading over to stop him.  "Callia spotted him, Dawn?" the guard asked.

Phil nodded.  "She kept looking that way."

"Huh."  He went to tell the head guard that.  The head guard could mention it to Stark.

Tony came in a few minutes later, picking up his daughter.  "How did you spot a sniper?"

"Either the twinkly from his gun and scope got to her, which proves it was Buffy's doing, or she's got danger sense," Dawn said, smiling at him.  "Which is probably also from Buffy."

"Probably.  I wonder if that's a pre-slayer gift."

"No.  No gifts in pre-slayers until the essence enters them from what Giles said."

"Interesting.  We'll have to see if you just like shiny things."  Dawn handed him her plate.  "Thank you."

"Fi-Fi!" Callia demanded, pointing at him.

Tony smiled.  "He can hang out with you later.  Come help me in the lab so Dawn can nag accounting for Pepper."  He walked out with her, talking about things.  Testing to see if shiny things got her attention was easy enough.  He had plenty of shiny things.

Dawn smiled and handed over the picnic basket.  "I got you seconds since you were acting like you haven't eaten in days."  She got up and cleaned up in the bathroom, changed her shirt to get rid of the drool marks, and then went back to work.

Phil smiled.  Clearly Callia got her fussing skills from her aunt, not her mother.

Table of Contents

1: The Old Ones. 1

Sometimes Xander isn't Xander, he's Alexander.  Not that nearly anyone knew but some people need the

2: The Old Ones Keep Going. 27

Things get worse in Sunnydale, even with others stepping in to help.   Plus a few battles have to be

3: The Old Ones Return. 115

The fallout from Willow's problem.  The witness statements, the parents that can't seem to accept bl

4: Old Ones In Store. 174

Once they get to move back home, Xander takes over the Magic Box until Giles can come back, and real

5: Old Ones In Style. 222

All the old ones have to step together to end a plot, but first there's some lighter stuff, like dat

6: Old Ones Being Pissed Off. 257

The actions of the NID cause a lot of things to change and a lot of Goddesses to get really pissed o

7: Old Ones' Mates and Mothers. 293

Some 'ship work for Roque/Clay and Xander starts to get more serious about Carolyn, no matter what h

8: Old Ones In Love And Battles. 332

More on the upcoming apocalypse and we see the terror that will one day be unleashed on humanity bei

9: Old Ones With Powers. 379

Did they even think before the higher ups mandated that each son of a chaos god had to have a power

10: Plotting Old Ones. 411

Xander has to go with Odin's decree.  In a way that's uniquely his own. 411

11: Tiny Old Ones. 430

Willow fixes something that's making Tara cry but it creates hell for an Old One and a few others. S

12: Training Old Ones. 464

The first group of recruits show up at Xander's new temple to be trained. 464

13: Weird Emergencies For The Old Ones. 532

Sometimes weird emergencies happen around SHIELD and other places.  Thankfully, someone has a clue,