Contents

To Find a Real Boy.

Fantasy Island.

My Babies!

Pouty Boys.

Feddies!

Fed'd-Up With Desire.

Incie, Blinky, Succie, Boo

Reconstructing Home.

New Nests.

Deranged, Demented, and Defended.

Family Trees of Destruction

The Fist of Karma.

The Insanity That Money Brings.

Fussing, Fussing, Fussing.

Serious Playtimes

The GHS Boys of Prophetic Doom.

Understanding Urges.

Sneaking Around The Plans

New Kids in the Family

Retribution!

Strange Goodbyes.

To Find a Real Boy.

Speed sat playing with his food on his plate, thinking while he stared at his mixed vegetables.  He finally looked at Horatio.  "I'm worried about Xander."

"Why?  Is he on an upswing or unhappy?"

"I don't think he's taking some of his future prospects very seriously."  He ate another bite.  "He's letting Steve and Don handle all his money.  He's not even trying to learn.  He's drifting again too.  They're not paying good attention to him."  He frowned then ate another bite.  "I'm not so sure we shouldn't try to set him up with someone else."

Horatio shook his head.  "I think they'll work it out.  Everyone underestimates Xander but he's a lot deeper than most people look.  That's usually the problem he has, no one looks."

"Especially not Danny and Don," Speed agreed. "How do we make them see that though?"

"They can only do that on their own," he offered patiently.  "They've had hints in Xander's past and when he's had to handle a crisis."

"They're seeing him like he's got MPD," Speed said, realizing it.  "Even we do that, H."

He nodded, smirking just a bit.  "We do and that's mostly because Xander wants it that way.  If he didn't, he'd make all of us see deeper into him.  I think the only one who truly has is probably Ryan.  Possibly Strife."  Speed smirked a bit at that.  "He does value him more than most."

"He does.  I'm worried that Xander's not taking the future seriously.  He's always spending money.  He's always spoiling others."

"He's got a deep need to take care of others," Horatio told him.  "He's a natural born mother hen.  Unfortunately for his fussing nature, we're all very healthy people.  Take a longer look at him, Speed.  You'll start to see you're worried about a few things you don't have to."  He ate a bite then fed his husband one.  "Give it a week and we'll see what happens."

Speed nodded at that.  "You do read people better than I do," he admitted.  He dug in again, thinking about the Xander they knew, what little they knew he realized.  "Do we even have a background on him other than the war stories he'd told from Sunnydale and what Cordy told us when she was still around?"

"I didn't feel the need to do a background check," Horatio said with tolerant fondness.

"Half of that probably wouldn't be covered anyway," he decided, digging in again.  They both looked over as the ferrets squealed and ran away from where one had tipped over something, getting up to fix it before it created a huge mess.  Then again, they were ferrets so that was probably their intention.

***

Speed sat down on his next free day to think about Xander.  He was decent at figuring out who did what, he could put those skills to understanding their friend.  After a few minutes he realized that he was seeing the divide.  He was seeing him as this or that persona, not the whole.  He tried to figure out why that was but he figured it had to do with those girls who had been in his life.  They had hurt him greatly.  He  had nearly been emotionally destroyed by Buffy and Willow and emotionally stunted thanks to Anya.  He started to gather all the hints of Xander that he'd seen over the few years he had known him.  The quick wit and snarky attitude that could match him on his good days.  The hunting and survival training and instincts that let him deal with almost any crisis.  The cuddly GHS side was almost a persona he had created he realized.  It was almost how he thought they expected him to react.  Or possibly some further limit of the nice, sweet Xander that liked to cuddle his former girlfriends.

He went back through the other traits, realizing that nothing they had seen of Xander's personality was really the core Xander.  Most people saw part of who they were deep down.  Xander,  you saw what you wanted to see.  Which was his boys' problem most of the time but that was a different long think.  He called his husband. "You realized that everything we see of who Xander is is an illusion, didn't you?" he asked.  He smiled at  the answer of 'you see bits and pieces but never very deeply'.  "When did you figure this out?"  He sighed at the gentle note that he had seen it all along.  "Is this an abuse survivor thing?" he asked quietly.   He nodded at the 'it could be'.  "Then why can't Danny see deeper?  Is he afraid he'll reject him?  He hasn't even knowing what's gone on in his past."  Horatio made a good point that Xander didn't want any of them to be disappointed but he was also very wary of letting himself be seen because that could lead to pain or even confusion when he wasn't who he thought he was.  "So Xander could not even realize he's doing it," he said.  Horatio made an assenting sound.

"How do we help him then?"  He listened to the words of wisdom about nurturing  his inner self and helping him finish the transition to adult.  "I don't think that's the transition he needs, H.  I think he needs the one that comes when a family nurtures you and shows you that it's all right to be yourself.  He never got that and he's probably hid all this time."  He smiled at the 'we can help with that too' before Horatio had to hang up because someone was coming up to bother him.  Speed sat back, thinking about their younger friend. They definitely had some helping to do if only to make sure that his boys saw the same thing that Horatio had.  They were all cops, they should have seen it right off, but Xander was excellent at camouflage  in more ways than hunting it seemed.  Well, he'd have to make Danny and Don see it he decided.  It was about time to get that trio settled into their nest.  Now if only he knew where he was starting.

***

Speed watched Danny work, getting a few odd looks back for it.  "Sorry, thinking."

"About?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Why?" he asked patiently.  "Problems?"

"I figured out the other day that none of us see the *real* Xander.  Never have."  Danny stopped what he was doing to stare at him.  "We don't.  We see more of the *real* Adam than we do Xander."

"I thought he said he was letting it all go," Danny complained.  Speed arched up an eyebrow.  "Way back when he and Don first got together he decided he was going to quit hiding who he was to make others comfortable.  Said we could hate him if we wanted to."

Speed nodded slowly.  "He let out the GHS side that way but not the real, deep down, Xander part of him."

"We don't get that during a crisis?"

"No, and you're seeing him like he's got MPD, Danny.  I had to stop myself from looking at him that way too."

"I suck as a profiler," he decided, getting back to work.  He finally put his slide down.  "We *never* see it?"

Speed looked over from his microscope.  "We see the real him now and then.  Or hints of him."  He grinned a bit.  "It took me two weeks to figure it out but it's never the body language with Xander.  That's a big clue but the eyes is his tell.  Which is why he never looks up at you unless he's sure he's got a good hand in poker.  That look that he gets when he's waiting for you to open a present is the core him as far as I've seen."

Danny considered that.  "We see that now and then at home.  Usually when it's quiet and we're all watching tv, he's cuddled in and snuggling Don usually."

"You don't like to cuddle the same way," Speed said before he could go off on the tangent about not being good for him.

"True.  He usually curls up with Don without bothering to check to see if I want to cuddle."  He considered it.  "How long did it take you to realize this?"

"Two weeks to figure out when we see it.  It came to me about a month ago and I started to look after I figured out that we never see the core him.  I've been worried about him because it doesn't seem like he's been making plans."

Danny frowned.  "He doesn't."   He tapped his fingers on the table a few times.  "We should probably beat that subject again soon.  He tends to stomp off."

Speed smiled.  "Horatio thinks he's got some plans."

"The farm?"  Speed nodded.  "But we can't...."  He frowned at that then sighed.  "We could live there I guess.  It'd definitely take us out of this circle of life and into a different one.  Plus give Don time to go to school."   He considered it.  "What about the money stuff?"

Speed shrugged.  "He lets Don and Steve handle that."

"Good point."  He looked at his current sample and got to work on it, then he walked off once it was done to take a quick break and call Washington State to see if Steve had any ideas.   He ran into Ryan.  "When you guys were gone for two years, did Xander act strange?"

"Xander was mostly in crisis mode," he admitted quietly, glancing around then at him.  "Why?"

"Speed realized he's holding up a facade to us all."

Ryan nodded.  "Yeah.  He's had to protect himself for a very long time.  Not like anyone back there really wanted the real him.  We all do that though."  He shrugged a bit.  "He's probably been doing it since day one with his parents."

"Point," he decided.  "Did he say anything about future plans?"

"I think he wants to go on the riding circuit," Ryan teased with a grin.  "He's been practicing his riding and jumping."  He walked off.  "Then again, with Xander you never know.  No one does."

"That's half the point," Danny complained.  He decided to call Steve anyway.  "Hey, it's Danny."  He smiled at the happiness.  "Is Xander making any future plans?"  He listened to him talk about a few investments he had made for him.  "Beyond that.  Like a career or those things?"  He listened to him say that the farm was the next career.  "I know he can hide there....."  He nodded.  "Good point.  Thanks, Steve."  He hung up and went back to work.  "Steve thinks he's got one beyond the farm but he's not sure what."

"Interesting," Speed said, frowning some.  "Xander doesn't like to plan."

Ryan leaned in.  "Did we forget that Xander did the majority of the tactical planning out in Sunnydale?" he asked.  They both stared at him, mouths open, Danny looking a bit horrified.  He grinned back.  "Thought so."  He walked off again, going back to his own case.   He so loved flustering them.  It was so cute when they got that confused look.

"So he can plan a battle but he can't balance his checkbook?" Speed asked Danny.

"Yeah," he admitted.  "He can."  He shook his head quickly.  "We'll see."  He got back to work.  "We'll be talking tonight."

"Good luck with that."

***

Xander looked over at the man who had been following him for a few days.  "Yes?" he asked when he caught him staring back.  "You needed something?"

"Mr. Harris?"

"This week.  Why?" he asked drolly.  "Unless I have to hide from you like I do some of my former poker buddies."

"Um, no sir."  He got up and came to his table at the coffee shop.  "I'm here on behalf of a mutual client."

"Who is?" Xander prompted.

He pulled something out and handed it over.  "Him, sir.  I think you remember him."

Xander looked at it then at him.  "I do.  He was a very nice man who never really tried to get into my panties.  And?" he asked, sliding it back.

"That's your copy, sir.  He died a few weeks back.  I don't know what arrangements you had with him upon that time but his will stated that it was as you had agreed."

Xander studied him.  "In his will?"

"In his will, sir.  His wife was not happy when she found out what that meant."

Xander grimaced.  "I didn't know he was married.  He told me he wasn't.  Is she going to fight me over it?"

"No, sir.  She's in her eighties.  Her sons might."  Xander grimaced worse.  "Wrinkles," he teased.

Xander looked at him.  "It adds character.  You can tell them to come to me in person about that," he ordered, standing up.  "Please."

"Agreed, sir.  Thank you for staying calm."

"I've had a lot worse recently," he pointed out, walking off with his coffee to sip and think.  Someone grabbed his braid but he glared and the kid let go with a grin.  "Not for you until you're old enough to appreciate the hair, kid."  He looked at the horrified mother.  "He's not the first.  It draws attention."  He went to the nearby park, sitting down among the bushes to think in private.  He felt something move next to him and looked at the senior demon that appeared.  He leaned on his shoulder. "Hi, Vesvold."

"Hi, Xander.  Big think?"

"Remember the nice guy who used to take me out for dinner while I worked at Devi's?"

"I do.  Why?"

"He apparently died."

"Your agreement with him stands?"

"I don't remember an agreement.  I remember a tease that he'd make sure I had a hiding spot if I was his."

Vesvold sighed and patted him on the back.  "Many people consider you theirs, Xander.  As I do."  Xander grinned at him.  "His family?"

"At least a few sons and a former wife, which he swore he didn't have."  He shrugged.  "I told the guy who came to talk to me to tell them to come talk to me in person and we'd get it straightened out.  I have no idea what he's talking about."

Vesvold kissed him on the temple.  "I'm sure it'll be fine, dear one."  He smiled at the grin the boy gave him.  "Now, you've worried two of your harem.  They've been thinking deep thoughts about you recently."

"I know and Don's hiding something from me.  I don't know what though."

"Don is probably hiding another challenge," he offered gently.  Xander scowled.  "I know you're the better fighter but sometimes he's got to take his own.  Even though he has much to learn.  He'll win this one.  It's been foreseen that he'll be around for a long time yet."  He kissed him on the temple again.   He knew what the will was talking about and wanted film of Xander's first day there.  "Are you going shopping soon?  You did damage those leather pants with the last demon you fought off."

"I probably should," he admitted quietly.  "I was thinking about bringing the boys with me so they could enjoy watching me try on leather pants."  He grinned up at him.  "It'll make them hot."

"It would.  It does everyone else."  He winked and kissed him for real.  "I hate boring meetings."

"Did you get my email?" he asked with an impish grin.

He smirked at the young immortal.  "I did and it had some very naughty thoughts about turning some of my adversaries into goo.  Very, very naughty, Xander."  He gave him a squeeze then disappeared.

Xander got up and took his coffee off to call Don.  "So, this challenge I heard about?  Need help warming up?  Want me to come with you?"  He smiled.  "I would if you wanted me to.  No, I know you need to do it on your own.  Well, if you win, I do have to find a new pair of leather pants," he offered dryly.  "I ripped one getting away from something."  He finished his coffee and tossed the cup out.  "That is an incentive.  Watching me try on leather pants?  Getting a bit warm in the changing area?" he teased lightly.  "Whenever you want.  Sure.  I'll go home and make the chicken salad you like?"  He beamed.  "Okay.  You be safe and call when you're done.  Driving like that sucks."  He hung up and headed home.  Don would be fine, Vesvold had said so and he was ancient and a very high demon since he sat on the High Demonic Council.

***

Don faced off with the immortal.  He was older and cocky.  "Why did you want Xander anyway?" he asked him, checking his sword over.  "I know why most people want him but most of them want to snuggle and cuddle him, not take off his head.  So why the challenge?"  He looked at him when he was silent.  "Hmm, afraid of the gay thoughts?"

"No," he sneered.  "When you get to be my age, you've tried about everything," he said dryly.  "He's warping us.  He's made this little group down here.  He doesn't take solo combat."

"Um, point of order," Don offered, holding up a finger.  "Xander's a berserker."  The man gaped.  "It's not safe if he takes single combat.  We *always* send a cheerleader with him and most of the rest of us in case something happens.  After all, most of us are cops."  The man groaned at that.  "I'm a cop, the dark blond guy is a cop.  The redhead's a cop and so's his husband.  The blond with the glasses is a cop.  Ray's a cop."

The man shook his head.  "That would create less problems."

"Exactly," he agreed with a small smirk.  "Besides, it's nice to have a cheerleader.  Makes you win more often."  He slid off his suit jacket and stretched some.  "You sure you wanna do this?"

"Are you?" he taunted back.

Don looked at him.  "Yeah, I am.  I'd go through hell for Xander.  Took me a bit to realize that but I would.  So you want him, you take me.  And if you get past me, you've probably got Ryan in your way too."   The man snorted but lunged, letting Don block him.  The man snarled when he added in a dance step.  He couldn't do the same dance/self-defense style that Xander could but he knew a good bit of it.  He had been working with Methos, Ryan, and Eric to blend it with more traditional sword work.  He flowed around his opponent.

"Stand still!  What are you doing!" he demanded.

Don smirked.  "Xander found it on one of his many trips abroad.  It's a dance and self- defense style."

"Looks like it's good for sex," he sneered.  "But sword work?"

Don ducked his swing and came up against his side, pinning him with a foot and his sword already swinging to take his head.  He backed up when it fell, looking down.  "Yeah, it's good for more than sex.  Then again, it's great for sex," he said, squeezing his eyes shut as the quickening flowed into him, falling to his knees as it got worse.  He panted and heaved but managed not to throw up this time.  He slowed calmed it down until he was panting and sweaty.  He looked at the body.  "One less who wants what's mine."   He called Alexx directly.  "Alexx, it's Don."  He smiled, she was concerned because his voice was rough.  "No, I took a head," he admitted quietly.  "Yeah, that's where I am.  Please.  Holden's student.  Pissed Xander had his teacher arrested."  He hung up, making himself stand up and grab his jacket.  He used the other guy's shirt to wipe off his sword before putting it back.  The warehouse's door opened and he looked over, stiffening when he didn't recognize the person.  "Challenging me too?"

"No," he said gently.  "I'm Dominic.  I'm Eric's Watcher, Don."  Don relaxed.  "You all right?"

Don nodded.  "He wanted Xander.  Can't let the prettiness be bothered."  The man looked stunned.  He grinned.  "We'd go through hell for Xander.  Some of us have literally been there with him.  You should talk to Ryan about how he came across."   He looked at the body again then at him.  "I'm sorry and all but he challenged me."

"I know," he promised.  "You okay to get home?"

"I cabbed," he admitted.  "I knew I shouldn't drive.  Xander threatened to come and cheerlead so he could drive me home."  He grinned and walked out, heading out to catch a cab so he could head home.  He finally trudged in and Xander pounced to cuddle him.  "I'm fine.  He didn't even nick me," he promised quietly.

Xander kissed him.  "As long as you're okay."  He gave him a full-body cuddle, making him a happy boyfriend.  "Why did he want you?"

Don tipped his face up so he was looking into the soft brown eyes.  "You, dear.  Not me."  Xander scowled.  "No one's taking you out.  He was a slightly easy opponent and you didn't need a challenge."  He kissed him.

"I can...."

"We're saving you for the bad ones," Don said gently.  "Remember, you can still lose it."

"Ares trained it so I wouldn't."

"As much as I like the big guy, I've seen you slip in training, Xan."  He took another kiss.  "If I didn't think I could take him, I would've made Ryan do it.  He volunteered and growled when I wouldn't let him.  Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Now, anything big happen today beyond this?"

Xander snuggled in again.  "One of my former clients left me something in his will.  We might have to talk to his family.  Not sure yet but I told the guy who told me to send them to me personally if they wanted to be upset."

Don tipped his face up again.  "You haven't worked in years, Xander."

"I never slept with that one, Don.  He was one of the guys that I went out to dinner with while I was working at the brothel."

"Any afterward?"

"Twice and that was before you let me do more than cuddle.  He never wanted sex so I saw them as dates."

Don nodded.  "Then it wasn't cheating and if he wasn't wanting sex, it wasn't working.  It was date."  He took another kiss and cuddle.  "Any idea what it was?"

"He was always saying if I was his he'd give me a sanctuary where I could hide from others who wanted me."

"Interesting.  So, house?"

"Maybe.  I'm not sure.  The guy said his sons weren't pleased.  He told me he was single and didn't have a family."  He shrugged.  "I told him to send them down here if they were going to be fussy."

"That'll work.  We'll talk with them together."  He took another kiss. "Shower?"

"I can scrub your back," he offered.

Don smirked.  "I'd like that."  He walked Xander that way, letting him check his sword before they got into the shower to play.  Xander was great at helping him wear out the extra energy he had.  He came out twenty minutes later squeaky clean and tired.  Xander was even nice enough to tuck him in and pet him until he fell asleep.

Danny strolled in about half an hour after Don drifted off, looking at Xander.  "He okay?"

"He took a challenge for me," he said quietly, looking at him.

Danny nodded once.  "I know Ryan has.  No one wants you to lose it."

"I got that trained out of me."

"Uh-huh, and you still nearly lost it on Meth a few weeks back," he pointed out.  Xander grimaced.  "So we'll keep it down but there's not that many in Miami anyway.  Who?"

"Holden's student Piers."

"Eric's going to be pleased.  He hated the guy."  He shrugged and got undressed, putting on something comfortable.  "We should talk."

"About?"

"Future plans."  He looked at him.  "I know the farm is the next life.  What were we thinking?  Breeding, showing?  Just giving lessons?"

"Hiding and riding?"

"That could work too," he admitted.  He sat down on Xander's other side, earning a grin.  "Anything else?"

"Well, Don could go to college.  There's a small one near there.  You could too if you wanted to.  Ryan will have to come visit often."

"True," he agreed.  "No other concrete plans?"

"I figured we'd work on that then."

"Are we financially secure?  I know Steve said he was doing some longer term investments for you now."

Xander looked at him.  "You called Steve?"

"Yup."  He stared back.  "He's the guy handling your fortune.  I figured he'd know if we were on good footing or not."

"We're fine, Danny.  When we go, we're selling the house to Methos and Ray, or Horatio and Speed.  Probably at a loss but that's fine with me. We'll move out there since the family out there probably won't last more than a few more years.  The mother's sick now too."

"Something in the water?"

"Nope.  She smoked."

"Oh.  That's reasonable," he agreed.  "So we can move into taking over the farm from them when he decides he's got to leave."  Xander nodded.  "Then what?"

"I was thinking you might want to find a small bookstore or something?" he suggested.  "Speed would keep you in business."

Danny grinned.  "I like books," he agreed.  "Don can hit college.  You can take a few classes here and there if you want or do some mild show circuit stuff locally."  Xander beamed.  "We'll have to see.  How's the foal?"

"He's being a snot this week.  He keeps trying to make Princess 2 do his bidding and she's giving him 'buzz off' glares.  My stallion's watching with interest but they'll be fine.  The girls already do the younger one's bidding when he wants their sunny spots."  Danny shook his head at that.  "They won't have a dominance fight.  It'll be fine."   He stole a kiss.  "I made that salad with chicken that Don likes.  It needs dressing."

"We'll get some in a few," he promised, giving him a hug.  "Anything else?"

"One of my former clients."

"How former?"

Xander pinched him hard.  "I haven't seen him since about the second day Don let me have cuddles.  He never wanted sex either, just going out to dinner and talking.  He needed someone who listened."

"What about him?  He pop back up?"

"Died," Don said quietly, stretching and yawning.  "Left him something but his family might protest.  Xander told whoever to tell them to talk to him in person if they're going to get fussy."

"Okay, I can accept that," Danny decided.  "Any idea what?"

"He was always talking about how he'd protect me if I was his," Xander said with a small shrug.  "I saw Vesvold today after that talk.  I went to think in the park and he came to break up the never-ending meeting he was in."  They both smiled, the demon was a nice guy.  "We got a bank statement for some reason."

"They come with interest statements for the IRS about this time of year," Don told him.

"Oh.  Really?"  They both nodded.  "Huh.  Well, at least I've been mostly good this year," he said with a grin.  "Should I get us dinner?"

"We'll come eat with you in the living room so we can play with the animals.  Speaking of...."

"Both dogs were taking up the couch with Hubert being their pillow and the ferrets were playing in their cage."  He got up and went to dish up supper for his men, bringing out plates and drinks for them to share.  He smiled at the lump of pets that Don had gotten to move.  One of them was now using him as a pillow.  "Awww."

"He's comfy," Don agreed with a grin.  He took his plate and drink.  Danny took his.  Xander went to get his own and they settled in to watch tv and cuddle.  Danny looked over, watching them.  Don gave him a curious look.  "Watching him be relaxed."

"Don gives very good tv cuddles," Xander assured him, grinning at him.  "What?" he said when Danny continued to watch him.

"Speed pointed something out.  Even at home you're pretty guarded, Xander."

Xander frowned at him.  "I am?"

Don nodded, licking his fork.  "You can be.  This is about the only time we see something other than cuddly, sex-kitten, GHS Xander or crisis Xander."  He looked at him.  "Then again you've been guarding yourself for a really long time."

Xander considered it.  He shrugged. "I guess it's a habit now.  I'm relaxed and me."  He laid back down, leaving it there.  It was settled in his mind.

Danny and Don shared a small smile.  They'd peel off Xander's outer layers slowly so he was just Xander with them.  Even if cuddly Xander was a fun bedtoy sometimes they wanted the 'guy' Xander.  The one underneath who was all of it together.  It made him more interesting.  A new show came on and they went back to watching tv.  It was a nice, quiet night in.  Even when Horatio's nephew Ray came over and flopped down in the extra chair.  They all stared at him.

"Crappy date," he explained simply.  "Uncles are going at it so I wasn't about to bother them."  They all nodded and went back to the tv watching.  Ray grinned.  It was good to be among those who understood and loved you anyway.

***

Don walked Ray up to Horatio the next morning, presenting him.  "He came over after a bad date."  He walked off, heading inside.

Horatio looked at his nephew.  "You could have come home."

"I started to but I could hear you guys outside and I wasn't about to interrupt the important stuff.  Xander always has spare rooms."

"True."  He smiled.  "How bad was she?"

"Didn't get that far.  She had a panic attack at the sight of lettuce in her burger.  Then it got worse from there."

Horatio sighed.  "I've had a few like that.   Soon you'll have better dates, Ray."  He gave him a hug around the shoulders.  "Go home and change?  You look nice in Xander's clothes but they don't fit you very well."

"I was going to."  He gave him a grin.  "Then heading to the arcade."

"There is school, young man."

"It's spring break, Uncle H.  No school allllll week."  He bounced off, heading to change and then go play.  Someone else gave him an odd look.  "Spring break."

"At least you're not drunk," the officer muttered, watching him go.  They knew who he was and he was sure someone was going to be watching over the kid today.  Even if it was that gay boy that Caine senior protected.

***

Xander looked up from his lunch when he got pounced, smiling at Ray.  "Hi.  Done with the showering and that stuff?"

"Yup.  All done and now I can go play," he said fondly.  "Arcade?"

"I need something more active."

"They've got a Dance Dance Revolution system."

"That's very active," Xander agreed, following him once his trash was tossed out.  The arcade up the mall was fun and a cheap entertainment for them.  They were both very good at video games and Xander did have some stunning dance moves.  That's why he outpaced Ray by eons at DDR.   Some of the teenagers in there gave him odd looks so he grinned.  "I'm only twenty-four, guys."  They whimpered, he was critically old to them.  "Beat me," he told one.  The kid came over and put it on challenge mode once Xander had paid.  He was good.  He had the third highest score in the system.  Xander was still better and the kid sulked all the way out to the ice cream place about being beaten by an old fart.

Xander grinned at Ray and nodded.  "Come on, I'll treat."  Ray nodded and walked out with him, heading to get a snack.  He wiped off his sweaty forehead. "I need more time in the clubs."

"You've got two men, bling, leather, and a hotrod.  Go for it," Ray said fondly.

Xander smirked.  "Just for that, you're going jewelry shopping with me and then we'll go work on your self-defense some more."

"Yes, Xander."  They took their treats down to look at the jewelry stores in the mall.  Xander was highly picky but they had some nice stuff.  They made it back to the corvette with a few bags and headed home, finding someone at the gate waiting on them.  "Rich guy car," Ray warned.

"I saw.  I know what it's probably about," he said dryly.   He opened the gate and left it open as an invitation, heading up to park and then get out and talk to them.  "Hi.  He honestly told me he was single and didn't have a family."

The boys stared at him.  "Did you sleep with our father?" one asked.

Xander shook his head.  "No, he took me to dinner.  We talked.  I listened to him talk about his fishing and his turtles and his investments, though I had not a clue what he was talking about in that area.  We talked about sports a few times and a few other things.  He never wanted sex."

They both frowned.  "This does put us in an awkward position, Mr. Harris."

Xander nodded.  "He always said if I was his, he'd find me a sanctuary where no one would come looking for me.  I had no idea he remembered me until that guy yesterday."

The boys sighed and pulled out some papers.  "This is what he left you."

Xander looked then at him.  Then he grinned.  "My passport is from the Antilles Islands, boys."  They gaped.  "Do you know how much out-of-country taxes are?"

They both shuddered.  "We were advised that the taxes had been horrible on it," one admitted, frowning some.  "We wouldn't be adverse to settling with you as long as you gave up the other assets."

"What other assets?"

The second one pointed at a clause.  "Here, Mr. Harris."

Xander looked at it then grimaced.  "That is like Chinese algebra to me.  Ray?"  He came over.  "A friend's nephew," he said at the odd looks.  "I'm working on his self-defense skills.  Translate, please?"

Ray looked then at him.  "A house, two ponies, and a car.  All on an island."

The boys looked then the second one nodded.  "I was more concerned about the next one down," he admitted.

Ray looked then at Xander.  "Poker night on a mediocre night."

Xander shrugged.  "I don't need money, boys.  Really, I've got a lot already."  He pointed at the house.  "I played high stakes poker.  Often."  They gaped and he grinned.  "I was bored.  I had to do something."  He considered it.  "How about this?  Since he deeded me the island and I'll get the lower tax debt, I'll take the island and whatever's on it.  Ponies and all if you want.  I have an Arabian and a Fresian colt that I adopted last year."  Ray beamed at that.  "Yes, when we move to the farm full time some year, you can have the baby horse, Ray."  He patted him on the back and grinned at them.  "I don't need money.  Money's nothing to me."

They walked off to talk, then came back nodding.  "We'll have the papers drawn up immediately," one agreed.  They shook his hand and headed off to do that once they had Xander's card with the fax number.

Xander looked at Ray.  "Don't."

"I won't tell them.  Just that it's a small house down where you've got your passport and a few ponies running loose."  Xander gave him a hug and drug him inside to work on his self-defense again.  Ray didn't want to be kidnaped.  Ever.  It didn't look like it was much fun.

***

Ray let himself be drug into the station and up to his uncle's office a few days later, waving at Speed.  "Got caught out on the beach," he called as he was pulled.

"Excuse me?" Speed called.  "Front and center, Ray."  The officer gave him an odd look.  "Horatio's on a conference call with the budget nazis."  He got handed his nephew.  "He was....."

"Beating the crap out of some older guy," the officer told him.  "Said the guy had propositioned him and offered him drugs."

"He did!" Ray complained.

Speed looked at him, getting a half-shrug.  So he looked at the officer.  "The reason Horatio knows what to do with GHS members is because Ray is," he told him quietly. "Very low level.  The guy okay?"

"No," the officer admitted.  "We did find about a gram of meth and another two grams of weed on him."  Speed nodded slowly at that.

"Dude, because of my father I'll *never* do drugs and I hate drugs," Ray told him.

"Good," the officer said.  "How did you learn to beat up people that way?"

He beamed.  "Xander."

"The...froofy little gay boy with the hair and the dogs and the ferrets who bounces in with food to spoil the lab?" the officer asked, looking confused.  He could do more than shop and look pretty?

Speed nodded.  "Yeah, him.  He had to learn it too.  His protector and keeper still work."

The officer walked off shaking his head.  "The guy's not pressing charges since it was pointed out your nephew's not legal by Florida standards, sir.  Remind him that it's still seventeen in this state.  Please?"

"Sure."  He looked at him.  "Xander's been working on your self-defense?  We would have."

Ray gave him a hug.  "Why?  He's very good at it.  He's bored.  It works out well for both of us and we go to the arcade all the time."  He beamed and headed up to his uncle's office, leaning in.  "I'm not being charged.  They found the drugs the guy had offered me to take me away and do him.  Xander's self-defense lessons have paid off very well."

Horatio looked over at him.  "We'll be making sure of the last.  Even though I know Xander knows what he's doing.  Why is whoever not pressing charges?"

"Legal age in Florida is seventeen.  I'm sixteen.  The officer reminded him that was propositioning a minor and he'd be a sex offender."  He beamed.  "He decided he could buy someone cheaper than the meth and weed he offered me.  Three grams total."

"Interesting.  I'll hear more about this over dinner," Horatio told him.

"Sure, should I tell Xander that we're using his practice room too?"

"No, I can.  Sit and behave in the break room, Ray."  He nodded and bounced down there to get a soda and sit down with some of the magazines laying around.  Horatio put his head down, letting his mind whimper for him.  He felt someone come in and they stroked his hair.  "Speed, we've got to make sure he knows what he's doing."  He didn't get an answer so he looked up.  "Thank you for petting me, Rick, but I'm not yours.  Get off."  He backed up, looking horrified.  "Go away.  Calm down.  Come back later," he ordered.  "Ray's fine.  He defended himself."  He was nearly crying.  "Go calm down, I'll forget you did that."  He rushed off.  Horatio went to wash his hair, finding a confused looking Speed and Eric in the hallway watching Stetler retreat.  "I think I'm on a surge," he said quietly.

"He made a pass?" Eric teased.

"He petted me," Horatio said.

Speed looked at him.  "Shower, Horatio.  Now.  I'll join you.  That way I won't beat him senseless for touching you."

"He was horrified."

"Good!"  He walked him off, making him take a shower, with his help to wear out some of those pesky pheromones.  The quick hand-job was appreciated and happy making for both of them and hopefully it'd mean things like that wouldn't happen again.  Not that he wouldn't be watching Stetler for the rest of his miserable life, because he was never leaving them alone in the same office again, but it would help Horatio to keep those worn out more.  Speed realized he was mentally babbling and sighed, checking the locker room before attacking his mate again to make sure they were both worn out.

Calleigh walked in and leaned into the shower area.  "Eric called Frank to warn him you were surging, Horatio.  He'll expect you back in an hour.  I'm locking the door behind me and we'll watch Ray for you."  She left, doing as she said so no one could interrupt them.  Ryan gave her an odd look.  "Small surge."

Ryan just nodded once.  "Okay then.  I'm free."

"Good, take Ray down to the gym and work on his self-defense.  I heard someone tried him earlier."

"I can do that."  He went to find the kid, grinning at his choice of magazine.  "Come on, we're going to make sure you're up to it in the gym."

He looked over.  "Xander's been working on it."

Ryan smirked.  "While he's good, I'm better at normal methods.  Come on.  Your uncle's busy.  He had a small surge."

"Poor man."  He put down the magazine and followed him down to work out with him.  It was good for him and Ryan did have a different style.  His training showed a lot more than Xander's did.  He was more forceful and up-front about his attacks.  "Xander does snatching scenarios with me."

"Good," Ryan agreed.  "He'd know."  That got a giggle.  "He would."  He attacked again and Ray managed to get away.  "Even better.  Now what?"

"I scream and rant and keep going," he said happily.

"Good idea."  He waved him back and Ray came back, letting him try to catch him off- guard this time.  It didn't work.  Xander had done a good job working with him.  Horatio and Speed came in, Horatio stepping in to act as a second assailant.  Ray managed to get away twice but the third time he was tired and Horatio managed to hold him still.  Ray went limp.  Horatio suddenly moaned.  "Good job," Ryan praised.  "Surging on purpose is a last resort but it can work."

Ray beamed, then at his uncle.  "That's the right way?"

"That's the right way," he agreed, letting him go after a gentle squeeze.  "Lock it back down."  He did that and beamed at Speed.  "Xander's doing very well, Ray.  Ryan, any traditional ones?"

"He's not real great yet at throws but he's good at breaking holds.  He could still use some practice and I'd want him to practice with others.  Xander does scenarios with him, but I attacked and he was a bit confused for a minute.  The more varied teachers in this case the better."

"I can agree with that and the group does have a training session coming up Sunday."

"He's more than welcome to come work out with us and be a training diversion," Ryan promised. That got a smile and a nod.  "So are you two."

"We'll be over," Speed agreed.  He let Ray have a hug.  "Good job."

"Thank you."  He beamed at him.  "Am I in trouble for earlier?"

"You got away, even if the officer did have to step in when the guy complained about you not taking him up on his offer and getting away.  I'd say that's a no, but why were you on the beach?"

"It's my spring break.  Where else would I be?  It's a bikini watching day without getting in trouble for it."

"Good point," Speed decided, smirking at him.  "Come on, time for dinner?" he asked Horatio.

"I'll be a bit late.  I have to finish the arrest report with Frank."  That got a nod and Speed walked their nephew off, leaving him with Ryan.  "Thank you, Mr. Wolfe."

"Calleigh ordered," he said with a grin.  "Plus it's good for him."

"And for you."  He smiled as he walked off, heading back to his office.  He found his boss in there.  "Yes, sir?"

"Your nephew all right?"

"He's good.  Xander's been working on his defense with him."

"Excellent.  He's not being charged?"

"The man refused to when he found out Ray was underage."

"Even better."  He looked at him.  "You all right?  You seem a bit tired."

"I unknowingly had a small surge earlier we think."

"I heard from Stetler, Horatio."

He sat down with a sigh.  "I'm more than willing to forget that he walked in and petted me, sir.  I didn't want it.  As far as I could tell, I wasn't radiating at all."

"Are you sure it was a surge?"

"Why else would he pet me?"

"Point," he admitted.  "Is it down?"

"It's lower than it was earlier, but I didn't feel the surge," he said quietly.

He held up a hand.  "I'm not worried about that part, Horatio.  You'll figure that out.  I'm more worried that Stetler admitted to me that he petted you.  For no reason."

Horatio shook his head.  "I had my head down and I was groaning about what happened to Ray.  I thought it was Speed.  I looked up and it wasn't."

"Can you test it to see?"

"I can.  I'll have someone draw blood for me."

"Good.  Because if you're not surging, we've got an issue."

Horatio nodded. "Let me get Alexx."  He paged her and she came in a few minutes later.  "Draw blood please?"

"Why?"

"Stetler walked in and petted him," the Chief told her.

"Uh-huh."  She went to get the necessary materials and have Eric run it, coming back twenty minutes later, shaking her head.  "You're down, Horatio.  You're reading as a level five today."  She let him have it.  "I had Eric run it for you."  She looked at him and shrugged.  "Who knows."

He frowned, looking at the results.  "I am a bit down and wearing me out earlier wouldn't cause that."  He handed it over.  "I don't know if it wasn't a surge, sir.  I have no idea why.  I was more than willing to forget it this time."

"He horrified himself, Horatio.  That's why he ran to me and told me.  How do you read this?"

Alexx came over to show him.  "This is divided by the one below it to get a level," she said quietly.  "It's actually part of the new standard bloodwork we run for toxicology and CBC.  We added it to the standard test list in the machine."  He smirked at her.  "I've had a few that've died from things like herbal issues.  This way I know if there's a reason or not."  He handed it back and nodded at that.  "If it wasn't a surge or him broadcasting, what was it?"

"Not a clue.  Figure it out, Horatio.  Before something else happens.  I'll agree to ignore it this time.  If it happens again, I want a reason."

Horatio nodded.  "So would I."  He got a nod and walked out.  He looked at Alexx.  "We added it to the machine?"

"Yup.  I've caught two others with heightened levels in the last two months alone, both around level one or two, both mistresses."  He groaned a bit at that.  "One was an herbal thing.  She had the ginseng extract at astronomical levels in her blood stream.  The other was an OD."  She shrugged.  "Not a clue why.  I didn't hear that part."  She looked at him.  "I can't tell the difference."

"Me either.  I knew I wasn't surging."  Eric walked in.  "Anything else come up?"  He handed over the form.  He looked at it then at her.  "How did you get his blood to do a drug test?"

Eric smirked.  "He dropped a hair when he fled."  He strolled off much happier.

Horatio called the Chief's office.  "I have an explanation.  Bring him back, sir."  He hung up and looked at her, letting her have the form.  "That would open him up to even the slightest thing and does release inhibitions."

"Which is why we're not supposed to take it if we take a county paycheck," she pointed out.

"I'm not sure it's him taking it at this level," Horatio said.  He stood up as his boss and Stetler walked in.  "Shut the door, Rick."  He slammed it.  "You shed and Eric found a hair to see if it was you or me that affected you just now."  He waved his bloodwork.  "I wasn't surging but you've got something your system that lowers inhibitions and would open you up to even the slightest hint of pheromones.  It's been used in a few rape cases as defense strategies."   That got a scowl.  He handed it over.  "At that level, it's not therapeutic."

He looked at it then at him.  "I'm not taking anything but a blood pressure drug."

"Then let's run some bloodwork for you quietly," Alexx told him.  "If someone's drugging you, we need to know who."  He nodded, letting her lead him off to take the blood and wait around while it ran.  She caught it coming out of the machine, frowning at it.  "Ooh, it's about triple what it should be," she said, handing it over.  "Any idea?"

He looked then shook his head slowly.  "Not really."

"Dating anyone?" Eric asked from the doorway.  "I've had that happen.  I've also had it happen when someone accidentally switched lunches with me in the break room.  I got someone's anti-anxiety meds for a few days.  He had it crushed and mixed into his soup since he has problems with pills."

Stetler looked at him.  "You were drugged and you're admitting it to *me*?"

"Both were over a year ago."

"Whatever," he said, looking at it again.  "What's this one?" he asked, pointing at one that came out high.

She looked.  "LDL cholesterol.  Even that can be too high."  She patted him on the back.  "For right now, we've got to get that out of your system before you run into Xander when he brings lunch or something."  Rick growled.  "Calm down.  We can get it out of your system.  I need to look up how.  It could just be a lot of juice."  She walked off to get one of her medical reference books to look it up, then brought it up to Horatio's office, finding him ranting in there.  "It's not a lot of juice but it does take time.  It takes about eight hours for a single dose to wear itself out of your system.  With repeated dosings it can take up to a week."  She looked at him.  "I'd suggest you go on medical leave so you can determine where you got it and give yourself time to wear it out.  The therapeutic dosage is fifteen milligrams per day.  You're at ninety right now, Stetler."

He looked at Horatio.  "This would make me open?"

"This would make you open enough that a woman in the right part of her cycle would get the same reaction," he agreed.

The Chief coughed.  "Okay, I'm going to agree, Rick.  I want you home and only at home.  Figure out where you got it from.  If they need arrested, you call one of us and we'll do it for you.  We'll test you in a few days to make sure it's coming down and once it's out of your system you can come back."

He nodded. "I can do that."

"If you're taking anything herbal, look for this," Horatio said, writing it down.  "That's the same thing only in herb form."

"In other words, it's a good reason to live on pizza," Alexx said with a small smile.  "Lose the diet, make sure no one's giving it to you.  I'll come see you in a few days to draw new bloodwork and then we'll figure out if it'll be a full week or not."  He nodded.  "Want driven home?  It does say it can up aggressive tendencies."

"I'll cab," he decided, heading out to do that.   Someone was going to die for doing this to him.  He did not want Horatio Caine!  Especially not to pet!

The Chief looked at them.  "How likely it's in herbal form?"

"He'd have to be sucking it night and day," Alexx said quietly.  "All the time at that level."

Horatio shook his head.  "He could be ingesting some and not realize it.  When Gregory was doing some of the supplements for his allergy testing he found some were very out of balance.  He found two that had lethal levels of that in them.  Three others had smaller amounts."  Horatio sat down, looking at them.  "Like I said, I'm not going to hold *one time* against him."

"Thank you, Horatio.  Calm your boy down later," he ordered, heading out to make a note about this in his private files.

Alexx went to do the same.  This was not something she wanted running around.  She found her copy of Greg's report, sitting down to look through it.  They did find a lot of herbal supplements in the bodies around here and it was good to know what was in them.  It went onto her reference shelf in case she needed it.  The boy had done good work.  She hoped the people in DC appreciated him.

***

Xander looked up from his cooking as his boys walked in.  "Hi, dinner's not close to ready yet."

"Got lost in the pool?" Danny teased, kissing him.

"Making sure the will didn't give me things I didn't need."

"So, no house?" Don asked, taking his own kiss.

"Small house.  Two ponies running loose near it," he admitted, grinning at them.  "Down near where I got my passport from.  Totally able to go on without my intervention but I might go see what it looks like."  That got a nod and they cuddled him, watching as he finished off the pasta for their dinner.  Danny got some bread to make cheesy garlic bread.  Don made some fresh lemonade from their lemon trees out front.  Others came over so Xander added stuff so they'd all have food.   He looked at Ray then at Horatio then back at Ray.  "You all right?"

"I'm fine.  I got away from him and he complained to the cops that I wouldn't take his drugs in payment."

Xander gave him a one-armed hug.  "It happens to the best of us.  Just means you'll have a brilliant future, Ray."  That got a grin.  Methos and Ray came in.  "Okay, if you guys want to eat, grab something out of the freezer and put it in the oven.  I only made enough for four."  He dished up food, letting Ray have the other plate, making the others get their own.   Not that they minded.  It was family and they all knew that.  At the end of dinner, Horatio took Xander and Ray into the training room to work with him some more, making sure they could both handle themselves.  Methos came in to help after a short talk with Speed.  Ray wasn't as effective against him but Methos did have a lot more experience than anyone else on the planet.   Except maybe Richard since they weren't sure how old he was.  The others brought in drinks so they could sit around and talk, catching up on the personal stuff they didn't talk about at the lab.  Speed mentioned Stetler and got a glare.

"He was drugged," Horatio told him.

"I heard.  Doesn't mean I won't be watching him."

"Speed."

"Yay."  He looked at Ray.  Then at Xander.  "Define small house?"

"Small house.  I'll bring pictures back," he promised with a grin.  "I'm going in a few weeks."  They all nodded.  Xander could handle himself for a few days of vacation somewhere warm, sunny, and isolated.  They hoped.  Then again, Vesvold would be watching over him for them and he'd rescue Xander if something terrible happened.  That was one of the great things about having a senior demon in love with their lover and friend. He could get a bit possessive if something happened to Xander.

Fantasy Island.

Xander stepped off the small plane, looking around the lush, brilliant greenery surrounding the small landing pad.  "Wow.  This is beautiful."  The pilot smiled at him.  "Are you staying with me?"

"No, sir, I live on the mainland.  When you're ready one of the staffmembers can call for me."  He gave him his two bags and sword, then got back onto the private plane, heading back down the dirt runway.

Xander watched it take off and turned around to find a silent woman standing behind him.  "Hi."

"Hi, Xander.  I'm Melanie."  She shook his hand and he noticed it was a firm grip.  "I'm here to take you up to the house."

"Are you a full-time staffmember?"

"We're all full-time, Xander."  She took his bags, letting him keep the sword.  She had been programmed that he was a bit paranoid about his safety.  She could understand that.  "There's really nothing on the island that could hurt you.  We've made it very safe over the last few years."  He nodded at that, getting into the jeep with her.  She took off once his bags were in the back and she was sure he was secure.  "The whole island is yours.  The two ponies are grazing out in the gardens today.  We heard you liked horses so we had them brought up."

"Thanks.  Do they usually free roam?"

"Most of the time.  They're brought in at night of course, and during storms."  She turned a corner of the small dirt road and listened to him gasp.  "That's the guest villa," she said proudly.  "We were more than happy to help build it for the last owner."  He gave her a sideways look.  "We built all this with him, Xander."

"Then why didn't he leave you any of it?"

She laughed.  "Silly.  Some of us are meant to serve, not rule."  She patted him on the arm and kept going past the guest house.  He stood  up when they came into view of the main house.  It was a one-story building with windows but it seemed to grow right out of the woods surrounding the wings off to each side.  "Sit down."  He sat down ad let her drive up to the door.  Once she parked she got the bags out, handing them to the  woman waiting at the doorway.  "Here you go, one Xander."

"Thank you, Melanie.  Xander, I'm Patricia.  I'm the housekeeper here."  He nodded, following her inside with a smile and a wave for Melanie.  "We've been taught that you like caffeine?"

"Soda mostly but I can drink coffee if that's what you have, or iced tea."

"We do have all three."  She smiled.  "Just let us know what you need, Xander."  She walked him around the entry way.  "This is the foyer.  The small stairs to the left and right lead to the various wings.  Straight back and you run into the entertainment room."  She led him that way, letting him gasp at the soft leather sofas and chairs that were spread around the movie screen sized tv system and stereo.  She pointed.  "That door leads to the kitchen and other menial areas."  She pointed to his right.  "That path leads back to the library."  She led him that way and he moaned, running a hand over the dark wood of the bookcases.  "Those all came from local trees."

"It's wonderful work," he said with a smile.  She beamed and led him back to the entryway then pointed.  "Which is which?"

"The master had a suite put in on each side.  The one on the left is done in blues.  The one on the right is done in creams.  The guest rooms are in the other villa for privacy reasons."  He nodded, pointing to the left.  "Very good choice, Xander."  She walked him that way, opening the doors for him to take his first look of the bedroom.  There was an enormous bedroom in front of him.  The bed was *huge*.  Clearly about three king size beds put together.  "The former master liked his room," she said with a smile.  "The other one's the same size."  She put his bags down and efficiently unpacked for him, not mentioning how much stuff the bags could  hold for being so small.  She watched him walk around to look at things.  He had found the mini-fridge in the sitting area, plus the hidden microwave.   The other side of the room was the open soaking area.  "Behind the darker blue door is the lavatory for privacy."  She opened it for him then opened the glass wall behind the bed.  She smiled.  "It's a splendid view.  The headboard is minimal for that reason."  She smiled at him.  "Is there anything I can get you, Xander?"

"Um, the ponies?"

"They're in the gardens."  She walked him through a sliding glass door in the glass wall to the left, around the back of the house.  "The fenced in area you can barely see are the table gardens."  He nodded at that.  "If you wanted us to plant anything in particular let us know.  We can grow most anything down here."  She clicked her tongue and an older pony lifted his head to stare at her.  "There's one.  Myra!" she called.  Another one came trotting out of the woods.  "There's the other."  Xander smiled as he let them sniff his hand, then petted them gently.  "You're good with them."

Xander grinned. "I have a few at home."  He stepped back after a good scratch, letting them go back to grazing.  "I think I'll rest for a bit if you don't mind."

"Of course not.  You're the new master now, Xander."  She smiled and pointed.  "If you go that way do be careful.  That cliff isn't very steady and we don't want anyone to get hurt."  He nodded so she went back into the house, letting him make his own way back inside.  He gave the nearest pony a small pet then headed inside to try out that huge bed.  It felt pretty empty without his  lovers but he'd make due.  He could bring them all down for vacations soon.

***

Xander panned the video camera around.  "And that's my library," he told it, narrating as he walked.  He smiled.  "That's Patricia, the housekeeper.  Even if she doesn't look happy it'll be okay, Greggy."  He hit pause and looked at her.  "I'm sending video mail back to Greggy."

"Is he your lover?"

"Former playmate.  He's got his own lover now."

"Ah.  I see.  What did you want for breakfast?  You didn't eat yet."

"I'm not a big breakfast person and I only just got up."

She scowled.  "You must eat to stay healthy and content.  It's my duty to make sure you stay healthy and content while you're here."

"Can I have some scrambled eggs and a few slices of fried ham?  Some toast and juice?"  She nodded, going to make it for him.  He put the camera on the desk and sat in his desk chair, grinning once it was back on.  "It's all right.   She came to ask me what I wanted for breakfast.  This is a *great* place and the next time you two get vacation time together you can come down to use it for a bit of private time in the sun.  I know you'll both like that."  He beamed at the computer.  "I'll send you more later, that's all that I've seen so far.  Bye for now.  I'll send the other family some after this."  He stopped the tape and hooked it into the computer, finding it already connected to the 'net with a single click of an icon.  He launched the email program, getting into his to send it to everyone he knew.  They'd love this place!  He smiled at Patricia when she came back.  She turned off the monitor.  "I'm sending off the first batch to the family.  I'll eat.  I promise."  He turned it back on and nibbled on a piece of toast while he wrote the personal messages.  Then he sent it off to them.  He beamed.  "See, all done.  This is great, thank you, Patricia.  What else is there to see around here?  Don's going to love coming down here with me."

"Don?"

"One of my lovers, Don."  He ate a bite, looking at her.  "He didn't tell you I'd started a real relationship?"

"He had.  He also left explicit instructions on how we were to be here for your benefit, no matter what you needed."  He smiled at that.  "There's the small lab area, but I'm not sure if you wanted to see that or not."  He shrugged.  "Then I'll show you down there later."

"I can wander if you have something to do.  It's one of the best things about traveling, finding all the little spots yourself."  She smiled and nodded, leaving him to eat and drink his juice.  She came back just as he took his last bite, handing him a small bottle.  "What's this?"

"Soda for your trek around the guest house.  If you need more there's some in the refrigerator over there."

"Oh, cool.   Thanks."  He beamed and sent another email to Danny, then turned off the computer and left, taking his soda and his video camera over to film the guest house and the insides of that.  It was *huge*!  It had twenty guest suites and was three stories high.  It had a small kitchen on each floor, about what an apartment would have, and then the main kitchen in the basement that could be used to serve a military unit if he needed to.  He did refill his soda and grabbed another two cans, heading off to explore the rest of the island.  He filmed the gardens and the two women picking things.  They smiled at him and he waved, not wanting to interrupt them.  He hoped they didn't get sunburned since they were picking things naked, but he was sure they had sunscreen on, like he did.

He found a small shed and filmed it then opened the door, finding stairs down.  "This must be the emergency shelter or that lab she mentioned."  He walked down them, filming once he got the lights on.  He blinked.  "Wow.  This is even better stuff than the Miami lab, guys," he said into the camera, grinning at them.  He moved to film everything, even the strange tanks and the exo-skeleton looking thing.  "Huh.  He must've been working on robots."  He walked off to explore a side path, finding it lead back to the cliff that he had been warned about.  He got up there and filmed the view, which was magnificent.  Then he went to turn off the lights and head back to the house.  It was nearly the middle of the afternoon and he was hungry again.  He walked in and found Patricia pacing.  "I'm okay.  I found the lab."

She beamed.  "Good job, Xander.  Hungry?"

"Yes please.  What's for dinner?"

"What did you want?"

"What're you making everyone else?"

She scowled.  "That's not for you."

"You can just make me extra so you don't have to cook special things."  Her scowl turned into a glare so he wilted.  "Sorry.  Okay, whatever you feel like fixing?  Including some fruit stuff, like chutney or something?"

She smiled.  "I can do that.  Go email that to your friends so they don't worry."  He nodded, going to do that.  She shook her head.  "Humans," she muttered.

Xander sat down to plug in the camera again and send them the video mail.  He found he had two new messages.  One from Danny and Don being mushy and saying they missed him.  He answered that one with a sappy grin.  The other was from Gibbs telling him to send smaller attachments next time.  So he sent it to Greg's other email account.  That way he wouldn't get into trouble.  He sent it to Don's other email account too, just in case, then sent them notices that he had sent them there so they would know to go check.  Then he wrote one to Horatio waxing poetic about the views and how he'd love to let him and Speed come down for a honeymoon week.

She walked in with his dinner.  "Inviting your family?"

"I think Horatio and Speed could use a long honeymoon and they'd love the master's suite."

"That's really just for you and your lovers."

He gave her a look.  "If I'm not here, they can use it."  She nodded once at that.  "Even if I am here, they can use the other one.  They're used to hiding in one of our guest rooms at the house in Miami."  He finished his email message then turned to his dinner.  "This is great, Patricia, thank you."  She smiled and left.  He dug in, turning around to watch the sunset through the window.  He taped it as well, then sent it to Speed.  He liked sunsets.  She came back to get his plate then shooed him to the tv room.  He went to see what sort of dish they had - cable wouldn't be run out here under the ocean floor - and found it fully set up and able to play nearly any channel from around the globe.  He found something he wanted to watch, settling in on one of the overstuffed leather chairs to relax and enjoy the night.  She came to shoo him to bed around eleven, making him head back to his room.  He did stare outside then went to make his daily prayers outside under the pretty new moon.  He knelt and closed his eyes, sending his prayers off.

Strife appeared, looking at him.  "Morning."

He smiled at him.  "I didn't forget you, right?"

"Nah.  Wondering where you were."  He sat down next to him, looking around the lands.  "This is pretty."

"One of the guys who used to take me out to dinner while I was working in New York left it to me."

Strife nodded.  "That's cool.  It's a beautiful island, Xander."  He beamed at him.  "Now what?"

"I came down to look it over, see what was around, plan on getting most of the family down here for a vacation sometime soon."  He gave him a hug.  "Of course you and the big guy can come take a rest too."

"Thanks."  He gave him a pat on the arm, smiling at the woman who was doing guard rounds.  "We have predators?" he asked her.

"We thought we heard strange voices.  Who is this, Xander?"

"This is Strife, God of Mischief."  She blinked a few times then nodded and walked off.  He frowned at her back, then at Strife, who shrugged.  He shrugged too.  "Did you see the lab when I was down there?"

"I didn't but I can go watch over Red's shoulder.  He's had a bitch of a day with a kidnaping."

"His?  Ray?"

"Nah, a regular one, not GHS related."   He patted Xander on the back.  "Go play in the tub, Xander.  We'll talk tomorrow."  He nodded, going to do that.  Strife grinned and went to bother Horatio in his office.  "Isn't it late for you to be here?" he asked dryly.

"Lord Strife."  He looked at him.  "If I don't finish this tonight, it'll never get done and no one will get raises."

Strife looked at it then at him.  "Xander sent a new diary of the island, including a lab he found."

Horatio got into his email, finding Speed had read them.  He sighed in relief.  "Speed found them first."

He patted Horatio on the back.  "Speed's pacing."

Horatio called.  "Lord Strife just showed up to tell me to watch Xander's newest sending.  Was there a problem?"  He listened to him talk about the lab, frowning some.  "Really?"  He got into that file, watching it at half speed so he could identify the machines.  "Is that a robotic frame?"

Strife nodded.  "Yeah, because all the servants down there are."  He grinned.  "The guy was a brilliant man.  They're damn good."  He disappeared.  He'd make sure Greg saw it too.  They might need Gibbs.  He appeared in their row, making Greg moan.  "Hey, none'a that," he said dryly, crossing his arms over his chest.  "They can't see me anyway.  Get into his last one.  Not the sunset one if you got that one."

Greg looked, finding the notice email.  Then he went to find the other one, going through once on fast forward.  "Was that a lab?" he muttered, getting a nod.  He scanned back and went through it slower.  "Oh, damn," he said in awe.  "That's a DNA ...."  He dialed Horatio.  "Did you get Xander's email about the lab?  That one machine with the microscope is for combining and mixing DNA, Horatio."  Gibbs glared at him.  He waved him over.  "Xander's island lab he just inherited, Gibbs."  He listened to Horatio.  "Because Lord Strife said they were all robots?" he suggested after Horatio said it. "Um... okay.  That's strange.  So he was making cyborgs?"  Gibbs moaned.  He held up a hand and listened to him.  "Sure, if you need us, let us know, Horatio.  Please?"  He hung up shaking his head quickly, replaying the full message.  "This is the second email from Xander's new island paradise.  Horatio said Lord Strife told him all the other people except for Xander are robots.  Or possibly cyborgs since they've been tampering with DNA too."  Tony gave him an odd look but came over with McGee to look.  They had seen the earlier one as a small rest break from the current case.

Gibbs moaned.  "Think he'll need rescued?"

"Horatio wasn't sure.  He said he didn't think Xander realized they were robots or else he would've mentioned it."  They shared a look and Gibbs walked off shaking his head.  "It was one of his former *clients*, Gibbs.  He had this planned all along."

"Wonderful," he muttered.  "If you or DiNozzo ever end up with something like that I want warned first."

"I turned in the present that showed up in my mail, boss," Tony complained.

"Thank you for that.  Who sent it?"

"A senator's wife and I sent it back once I found that out."  He shrugged a bit.  "Not a clue why.  I've never met her in person."  He looked at Greg.  "What else can the lab do?"

"I'm not sure," he said.  "I can't identify two or three of the machines."  He saw an email from Horatio pop up.  "Horatio and Speed can't identify them either."  He called Abby up, letting her geekiness prove itself.  "Hey.  Look at these few machines.  This is the list we already have," he said, letting her read it over.  Then he replayed the clip at quarter speed.

She pointed.  "That one's a new spectrometer but it's in a custom case."  She frowned at the others.  "I have no clue."

"Damn."  He frowned then sent the clip to an old friend in Las Vegas who was *the* uber lab geek.  "Hodges will."  He got back an email a few minutes later with a full list.  Including everything but one machine and a question.  He sent back an answer and got a groan back plus a link from one of the other techs.  He beamed. "I love my geek buddies."  He sent back a thank you and hit that link, groaning.  "Aw, shit."

"Rescue team?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes!"  He called Horatio.  "Check your mail.  I'm sending what Hodges found and the link he sent me."  He hung up and sent it down to him.   Horatio sent back a blank email, Speed's version of a long, muted swear really, and then a suggestion for a rescue party.   They conferred on that via chat and decided to let Methos do it.  He was good at that stuff.  He finally looked over.  "The guy who gave Xander the island was not only a mechanical genius who was creating good cyborgs.  Hodges and Archie found an online work journal.  They're going to keep Xander so he's safe, loved, and protected forever and ever, and then his kids will join him.  That's why they had the DNA equipment and the tank."

"Can't happen," Tony said quietly.

"I know that.  He doesn't.  Or didn't since he's dead."  He sent an email back to Hodges, getting a long snicker back.  "Hodges is amused too."  He looked at Gibbs then groaned.  "The stupid ass robber, Gibbs."  Gibbs stiffened.  "I'm going to lay money on it being one of his."

"Super strong, left no fingerprints," Tony mused.  "Could be.  Abby?"

"The hairs you found weren't hairs, they were fur.  How would they get up here?"

Greg grinned.  "Remember hearing about Xander finding himself?"  She nodded, that was well-known by their friends.  "Xander met him while he was *working* in New York."

"Oh, no.  So he's been in and out of the US....  His security people?"

"I'm not calling the brothel to see," Greg told her.  "The owner tried to get Xander back a few times."

"Do we know anything about him?" Gibbs asked.

"He's got a family.  I can get the info that they have in Miami."  He wrote that to Horatio, and why he needed it, getting a full file back from Danny.  "Danny's worried too now."  He put it up onto the main screen so they could look it over.

"If any of them are cyborgs or robots, do they know?" McGee asked.

"Not a clue," Greg admitted.  "Xander doesn't.  They're sending Adam after him."

"Good choice," Tony agreed.  "He can take on nearly anything."  He shuddered.  "Maybe Ryan too?"

"Perhaps," Greg said, grinning at him, sending a silent prayer for that idea.  He got back a 'he's out of leave time' response, shaking his head.  Tony moaned.  The next one that hit his head was a 'Danny and Don are going'.  He beamed.  "His lovers are going."

"Good.  That'll look less suspicious," Abby said cheerfully.  "Maybe they can send Mac too?"

Gibbs smiled at her.  "That's not a bad idea."  He called him personally.  "Taylor, Gibbs.  Harris is in trouble.  Caine knows.  He's planning the rescue party."  He hung up.  "How do we find the current problem to see if he was one of them?"

McGee split the screen with the robber's picture from the video camera.  "He looks just like one of the sons, boss.  We start there."

Gibbs nodded.  "Get me a current address on them, McGee.  Thank whoever for me, Sanders."

"Already did, boss."  He and Tony shared a look.  This was the sort of trouble only a GHS slut could get into.

***

Mac walked into Horatio's office an hour later, already dressed with a bag on his shoulder.  "Where's Xander now?"

"On the island full of robots," he said, letting him see.  Mac snickered but he watched, frowning at the lab.   He got into the other screen with the work journal, moaning a bit.  "You wanted to go with Adam?"

"Gibbs called."  They shared a look.  "Who else is going?"

"Danny and Don."

"I'm there then.  They'll need it."  He called them.  "I'm going with you.  I'm in Horatio's office."  He hung up.  They'd come get him.

Adam strolled in a few minutes later.  "What do we know for sure this time?"  Mac let him read the work journal.  "Interesting.  I remember hearing something about that."  He got into another site and found what he wanted, looking it over.  "Yes, he did want to make little Xanders for his friends to baby for eternity."  He looked at Horatio.  "It may take a few days."

"Have fun.  Be safe.  Bring everyone home."

"Of course."  He looked at Mac, who walked out with him.  "Do have fun with the paperwork, Horatio.  Hire a secretary or something.  Ask Xander to fund her if you must."  He followed Mac out to his car, going to the airport.  Don had already arranged for a flight.  On the way down he talked to a contact via the private plane's onboard computer system.  That way they knew how to combat the robots.  Because Xander was going to get pissed and destroy them if he couldn't.  He smiled at the others stretched out in their chairs.  It was very nice of Don to spring for the extra expense.  He loathed commercial airlines.

***

Xander bounced into the guys getting off the plane.  "Hi!"  He beamed.  "Hi, Adam, hi, Mac!"  He gave his lovers a deep kiss and a cuddle.  "Did you get leave time?"

"A few days," Mac told him.  "Horatio wanted a better look at the lab."

"Sure.  I know how to get down there."  He smiled at Melanie when she drove up.  "Hi, Melanie.  Meet my lovers, Danny and Don, and Mac and Adam, two very close friends.  They can have the guest suite at the main house," he ordered when she opened her mouth.  She nodded once and they got into the jeep to head to the house.  He pointed.  "The ponies live over that way."

"Are they healthy and happy ponies?" Don asked.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Got to go for a ride?" he teased.

"They're not that big of ponies.  They did let me pet them."  They pulled up in front of the house and he walked them inside.  "Thanks, Melanie.  What else do you do around here?"

"This is most of my job unless we're attacked.  Then I help run the security defenses."

"We'd like to see those," Mac said.  "I helped Xander set up the current ones at his house in Miami."  She looked at Xander, who nodded.

"If Xander wants it then it can be so," she agreed, driving off again.

Xander frowned.  "Something's not right with her," he muttered.

"Maybe because she's metal?" Danny asked in his ear.  Xander scowled and shook his head.  Danny nodded.

"No, I'd have realized that."

"Nope," he said, grinning a bit.  "So, the lab?"

"Let me show you our room first."  He walked them inside.  "Patricia, my lovers, my mentor, and my personal security guru are here.  The other two are staying in the guest suite up here."  He walked them to their suite, which had two bedrooms.  Then he led them back to his room, showing it off.  Adam  nodded, looking very appreciative of the amenities.  "The shower has this neat waterfall head that spills out a lot of water."  He led them out through the glass doors to the side garden, letting Danny inhale with a pleased smile.  "I know, no smog.  I nearly choked my first day from lack of smog."  He took their hands, walking them down to the lab.

"What are you doing?" the guard from the night before asked, getting in their way.

"These are my lovers and my mentor, plus Mac's my security guru.  He wanted a better look at the lab to see if we needed to get any of the equipment back in Miami since I'm babying the crime lab there."  He grinned.  "Then we're going to go watch the water from a safe distance by that cliff."  She shook her head.  "We'll be safe.  Really."

"You and only you are allowed in the lab and that cliff is not safe, Xander.  We found a weak tunnel underneath, undercut from some water problems."

"We'll be a few good feet back from the edge," Don promised with a goofy, harmless guy grin.  "We promise Xander won't get inta trouble."

"Still, only he is allowed in the lab and that cliff is dangerous.  Xander should not be near there."

Xander stared at her.  "I managed to survive fighting for my life for many years, dear.  I can safely sit on a bit of grass to watch the sunset.  Besides, if I want Mac to see the lab and to tell me what I need to get for Miami's so they have new equipment, then that's my choice."

"Only you are allowed....."

Xander sighed then frowned.  "Fine,  you leave me no choice.  Patricia!"  She came to the glass doors.  "Tell her to back off before I fire her."

They shared a look.  "The lab is only for your use, Xander."

He looked at her.  "What would I do with a lab?  I have no idea what to do with a lab.  I'm not a science geek.  That's Mac and Greggy and those sorts. That's why Mac's going to tell me if it's stuff Horatio should have in Miami's lab."  He walked them off.  The other woman tried to get in their way but Xander muttered something and she reset.  He blinked.  "Interesting."

Danny gave him a look.  "Sunset?" he asked, taking his arm to walk him off.  Xander nodded.  "I saw what you sent Speed, it was pretty."

Xander grinned.  "It was and the lack of smog means you get different colors."   He led the way down into the lab, letting Mac and Danny wander around to look.  A few more of the robot protection force came in.  He glared at them until they stood at the entryway silently.  "So, anything Horatio could use?"

Mac tapped a machine.  "DNA might like this but I'm not sure they need it."  He patted the top of the mass spectrometer and nodded.  "They could use a new one of those though.  Ours is ancient."

Xander beamed.  "Would those gift cards help?"

"No, they're really expensive machines, Xander."

"Could this one go up there?"

"You'll need it here," one of the guards said.

Xander gave her a confused look.  "I know *nothing* about lab stuff."

"We do, Xander.  We're here to help you with that and teach you some things about it."

"The only one who gets to go into protective overdrive over our lover is us," Don said firmly, glaring at her.  "Back off."  She backed up.  "Thank you."  He looked at something then pointed.  "Mac, what's this for?"

Mac looked.  "It looks like it's an incubator for cell generation purposes."

Danny looked then shrugged. "Could be used that way or as a regular incubator for things like eggs," he offered.  Mac nodded that was possible.  He smiled at Xander, walking out with him since the guards were so tense.  "So, sunset?"

"Sunset," Xander agreed, walking them that way, sitting down far enough away from the edge of the cliff that no one should worry.  Of course the guards did anyway.  They were still following them.  Once the sun was mostly down and it was turning dark, Xander led them back to the house.

"Xander, the other suite is really for when you have children," Patricia said as they walked in.

"I'm sterile, there's no children coming, Patricia."  She glared at that.  "There's not.  Sorry.  Only Mac's fertile of all of us."

"That can't be.  Most human males aren't sterile."

"Shared birth defect, it's part of why we're together," Danny told her.  "Plus it's something that happens to GHS members like Xander more often."  She shook her head.  He nodded.

"It does," Adam agreed.  "A good tenth of us were sterile when we came in.  I should know, I'm the National Head," he said when she shook her head again.   She blinked a few times.  "Should we make dinner, Xander?  I found this new recipe I think you'll enjoy trying out for your boys."

"I cook," Patricia said firmly.

Xander frowned.  "I cook at home all the time.  Don taught me how."  She blinked again and he grinned.  "The lab is like a family so I get to cook for them all the time.  We have impromptu get-togethers and all that stuff at least once a week."  She still got in their way.  "Fine, you can cook.  We won't for now.  Guys, want to relax in the hot tub in my room?"  They nodded and followed him to his room, letting themselves settle into the deluxe tub with padded seats.  Xander leaned closer to Adam.  "Are you feeling freaked out?" he whispered.

Adam nodded.  "Yes, that's why we're here."

"Oh.  Okay.  I'd still like to bring everyone down for a vacation sometime."

"We'll see if that can happen, Xander."  He stroked over his hair.  "Comfortable?"

"No, Danny's alllll the way over there and Don's not being cuddly."  Don smiled, pulling him closer to cuddle him.  He sighed in pleasure, stroking his stomach.  "We need a bigger one of these at home."

"Ours seats six, Xander.  Most of the time we don't need that many of us in it at once.  Not like we're holding conventions in them."  Xander grinned at him but shrugged and snuggled in better.  Danny shifted over to get his other side, letting Mac and Adam plan how to get Xander away from here.  Patricia brought in dinner and they dug in, not realizing she had drugged them so she could fix the erroneous ideas Xander had.

***

Xander woke up alone, frowning at that sensation. "Don, Danny?" he called.  "Why am I cold?"  He got up, going to check the bathroom area, then outside to see if they were watching the sunrise or something.  Nope.  He padded over to the other suite, no one there either.  He went to find Patricia, scowling at her.  "Where are my family?"

"At the guest house, like they should be.   Also, we're working on cell regeneration for you."

"I don't need cell regeneration.  I already have a healing talent."

"No you don't."

He picked up a knife and cut his finger, making her scream, but it healed in front of her, making her shriek more.  "Yes.  I do."  He stared at her.  "I'm still infertile.  I'm still with Don and Danny, and I said the others could stay here.  It's insulting to send my family to the guest house."  He walked off.  "We're leaving today."

"You can't! You're in danger."

Xander glared at her. "Don't make me prove I wear the marks I do for a reason, woman.  You don't want that."  She glared.  He glared back.  "I'm not the one you want to fuck with.  Though I'm glad they didn't send down Ryan or the other snuggly Eric."  She growled and launched herself at him.  Fortunately, he was still very skilled and she crashed into a wall.  He looked.  "Huh, you are more robot than human.  Couldn't decide if you were a cyborg or a robot last night."  He found a sword, tipping her face up.  "We are leaving today.  I do not care if you do not like it."

"The plane only brings people here.  He doesn't take people off the island.  He's not programed for it."  She pulled herself back together.  "You are staying.  The Master said so."

Xander snickered.  "The only master over my life is me and Strife, woman."  He went to grab his things then hiked over to the guest house.  "GUYS!" he shouted as he walked in.  "I thought we were done with psychos.  I was wrong!"

Mac came down the stairs, looking at him.  "We can't get the pilot."

"She said he's programmed to only bring people here."  Two of the robots came rushing in with guns so he tossed Mac his bag and moved to protect him, taking them out.  One let out a metallic sounding groan but didn't move.  He looked at him again, smirking some.  "Who's waiting in reserve?"

"Gibbs, Greg, or Tony.  Speed."

"Did Gibbs feel pre-immie to you?"

"No!" Don called.  "He wasn't.  I asked Danny, he said it was where he had married one for a while.  They shared quickening after an auto accident."  He came down the stairs with his bag.  "I called Horatio.  He'll send down someone else to come get us."

Xander nodded.  "You know, that portal spell...."

Don gave him a look.  "No way in hell, Xander.  I don't want to hit a realmal road trip."

"Fine."  He looked around.  "Breakfast?"  They nodded and the others came down to eat with them.  He looked at Mac.  "She said she was working on cell regeneration issue."

"Even so I doubt she could make anything but a clone.  Technically that's not reproducing since it would mean taking one of your cells and putting it into an egg so it started to divide and grow into an embryo."

Xander looked at him.  "Lab?"

"Lab," he agreed.  "Eat first."  Xander finished making them breakfast then they went to hunt down the lab together.  Xander showed them the back entrance he had found, getting a small smirk.  He looked at the machine that was running then shook his head.  "I don't see any cell division.  I guess cloning doesn't work on you guys either."

"Welcome," Ares voice called.

"Thank you!" everyone yelled back.  They left through the main doorway.

Xander went to repack his bag since he could see Patricia undoing it on him.  He zapped her with a small bolt of magic then packed it again, this time taking a few of the things he had liked in there.  Including the video camera.  He went back to the guest house, finding them doing the same thing.  "Anything?"

"Horatio said he can't get down here until tonight," Don told him.

"That's fine."  He settled in to fix lunch, letting them see what he had brought with him.  The two bags were small but his bottomless bags.  He found his sword and switched it out for the inferior one.  The other one was nice, but his was better and blessed.  Mac took that one.  "Zapping does work with them."

"We don't have a taser," Danny pointed out.

"If we have to, we can improvise," Mac assured him.  They heard a plane overhead and went to check.  It wasn't theirs.  The small walk did them good because they found the garage and another lab.  This one was sealed and they had to let Adam break into it.  What they saw down there made them very happy.  Lots and lots of things that needed to go home to Miami with them.  Fortunately most of it fit into the bottomless bags.  Then they went back to the guest house to wait.  Horatio texted when he got nearly ready to land so they were waiting.  The door of the plane opened and they climbed on, overpowering the pilot.  He gave them a confused look.  "We're heading home."

"People are to come, not leave," he said.  "I'm not allowed to leave with people on the plane."

"I haven't flown a plane since World War II," Adam said quietly.  "Xander, can you hit reset and cast a masking illusion?"

"I can definitely do the first.  The second...."  He shrugged. "I can try."  He prayed really hard and did what he could.  An ignoring spell was easier it turned out.  The pilot was reset again and didn't see them so he closed the hatch and they proceeded up.  Xander watched where they were going, pointing at the mainland.  Mac shook his head.  Xander gave him a look and Mac shook his head again.  Turns out they were going to the mainland.  The pilot was preparing to land at a regional airport.  They left once the pilot was gone, heading inside.  "Hi," Xander said with a grin.  "We nearly got trapped on that island.  Don't tell the pilot.  He was trying to kidnap me."  The controller nodded at that.  "Where can we get a flight to the US?"

"Private planes only," he said quietly.

Xander grinned, reaching into his bag to pull out one of the bars of gold.  "Found this on the island."  The man blinked then shook his head quickly.  "No?"

"Smugglers.  No."

"No, not smugglers," Danny said, pulling out his ID and badge.  "Cops."  The man shook his head again. "Okay, now what?"

Xander looked at them.  "Magical roadtripping or we find an official to help us."

"There's got to be an embassy," Horatio pointed out.  "Where is the US embassy?"

"Main city, sir."

Xander frowned, considering it.  "How far away?"

"Two days."

"Can we get a flight there?" he asked with a winning grin.  The man shook his head.  "Even if we pay in cash?"  He shook his head again.  The pilot that had brought them back saw them and shouted.  He glared at him.  "I do not appreciate being kidnaped!"  The pilot rushed him and he pulled his sword to deal with him, making him end up in parts.  Xander wiped off his blade.  "Very unworthy."  He put it back into the bag with a grin for the scared controller.  "I hate being kidnaped.  It makes my hair frizzy."  The guy let out a squeak of a laugh.  He grinned, leaning closer.  "I'm GHS," he said quietly.  "Can you at least point us at someone we can talk to?"

The man swallowed, nodding quickly.  "I know of one."  He called him, speaking in rapid Spanish.  Soon another man stomped inside and he pointed.  "American cops.  They were on the island and nearly died there."

Xander tossed over the brick of gold.  "Or I have about two grand in cash on me but it's American."

"Where are you headed?"

"Miami," Horatio told him.  "The Keys are fine if that's as far as we can go," he said at his uneasy look.  The man still gave him a horrified look.  "I can get you permission to land."  He pulled out his ID, showing it to him.  The man nodded at that, leading them to his plane.  "Thank you."

"It is not a problem.  It is wrong to kidnap men to be used as slaves."  He got them inside and started his pre-flight check.  An official came over to see what he was doing so Xander bribed him and he walked off much happier.  The pilot smirked.  "You are used to us?"

Xander beamed at him.  "I played high stakes poker with some very bad men," he said with a wink.  "They all hated me when I won."

He stared at him.  "You're the kinky one with the hair?"  Xander pulled around his braid, waving it a bit.  He swallowed.  "We have heard of you."

Xander grinned.  "I try very hard to be good but, well, I get bored now and then sitting around the house playing with my ferrets."  The man laughed as he closed up the plane and got them moving.   Within minutes they were in the air, heading for home.  He looked at Horatio.  "It'll be fine?"

"It'll be fine."  He smiled, going up to the cockpit so he could radio ahead.  "Can you put me onto the tower at Miami?"

"Two hours or so."

"That's fine.  Let me know when we get that close."  He nodded and Horatio went back to the seats.  "Two hours."  That got a nod and they settled in to nap.  Two and a quarter hours later Horatio was nodded to come back up there.  He took the radio's headset.  "Miami Tower, this is Lieutenant Horatio Caine, Miami-Dade crime lab.  We're returning a kidnaping victim to his home and had to evacuate.  We request permission and instructions on landing in Miami."  He let it go, listening to the person get authorization then give them clearance.  "I'm turning you back over to the pilot.  Thank you for your cooperation."  He handed it over and went back to his seat, getting comfortable.  It wasn't that long of a flight but he had liked the jet down a lot better than this one.  This one was rather...rickety for his tastes.  They landed and were met at the private terminal by FBI agents.  He waved at one he knew, then helped Xander off the plane.  "He was given a certain island," he said in greeting.  "On it were people who wanted to keep him and make him breed."

"Who is he?" one asked.

"Xander Harris.  Level ten GHS."

"Oh!" the others said, nodding at that.  Nearly in unison so Mac cracked a smile at their mutant skills of being the same being in multiple bodies.

Xander smiled.  "I really do need to have that issue cleaned up.  They even had cyborgs as guards.  It was freaky.  She drugged me and took my lovers."  He sniffed.  "I'm quite peeved."

"I'm sure the proper people can deal with it, imp," Adam said as he got off, handing Xander his second bag.  "You forgot your sword."  Danny handed it over, getting a hug for it.  "Let's head home, people.  It's been a tiring few days."  They nodded, heading off with the FBI escorting Xander to his house for a complete report.  Including a copy of the will and what had happened.  It was too strange for them but maybe someone would deal with it for him.  Adam smiled at Ray as he walked in.  "We're back.  Cyborgs wanted to keep him this time.  They even wanted him to breed."

"Only Xander," he muttered, taking a kiss and leading his lover to the tub and dinner so they could cuddle.  Every GHS needed spoiled and they both were.

***

Later that night, Xander pouted at Strife.  "Why can't we zap all the robots to prove who is and who isn't?"

"There's some in delicate areas.  It'd cause a panic," he said.  "Ares said no."

"Fine," he complained.  "Can we show them quietly?  The agents wanted to know."

"I had Gibbs call 'em.  They'll find out.  I did give Gibbs a list."  He gave him a cuddle.  "Why're you out here?"

"Stressed and I didn't want to wake them up."  He looked at his God.  "They need sleep.  They work really hard."

"They do," Strife agreed, smiling at him.  He gave him a squeeze.  "Go bake or something for breakfast."  Xander beamed and went to do that, going to gather fresh nuts and fruits from the trees out front while he went to find Gibbs to talk about the robot situation.  He appeared and Gibbs dropped his pen.  "Get the list?"

"I did.  Thank you for that."

"Unc said we couldn't just zap 'em to prove it.  Too many in high risk areas."

Gibbs gave him a look.  "What about the ones down there?"

"Pouting.  Proves there's no such thing as a guy without a plan when they want a Xander of their own."  He disappeared again.  "We're leaving it up to you about exposing them."

"Thanks.  Really," he said sarcastically.  He went back to looking over the list.  How in the hell had two robots gotten into the US Nuclear Research lab?  Or as a White House gopher?  Or even as  Pentagon gopher?  He decided he'd start with that one, going to talk to a general he knew.  He wasn't going to be happy to see him but no one was when he showed up on their doorstep at two in the morning.  "Sir."

"Gibbs.  It had better be *damn* important."

"Someone's replaced one of your people's aides with a robotic version.  I know it's strange but we can prove it and there's some in more sensitive areas.  We found out when they wanted to kidnap a GHS member and DiNozzo heard."  It was well known around DC that Tony was one since the last time he had been taken.  The arrest of three congressional aides who had decided to share him had made international news and *everyone* with any source of information in DC and the surrounding areas had heard *why* they wanted DiNozzo.

He stared at him.  "Is there a special category on God's list that starts with the title of 'GHS problems'?"

"Probably," he admitted, handing over the list.  "The note on the back of the list gives the specific frequency we need to knock that one out for proof."

He looked at the list, then groaned.  "Find out how to do that?"

"Abby can.  She said a frequency generator would."

"Fine.  Bring her to me at ten in the morning."  He nodded, leaving it with him.  He went back to bed.  GHS members were going to drive the US Government nuts.  They had found a few in the service too and quietly made sure they had enlisted of their own free will.  Three of the eight hadn't.  They had been given to higher ranking generals overseas for good work by a administration a few presidents back.  Who would've thought Regan could've been that kinky?

***

Abby set off the frequency generator, making a few people cover their ears and hiss in pain.  One screamed and had a seizure.  One froze and then clattered to the ground.  "Hmm."  They ran to help the one seizing.  She turned it off for now.  "Brain disease?"

"No, he had something to do with another project, Miss Sciuto.  Don't worry about it," the general said, calling someone. "It's Henry.  Your boy just collapsed at a loud noise.  Had a seizure.  That's us.  Come get him please?"  He hung up, looking at Gibbs.  "There's a few things you don't know or need to know."

Tony grinned.  "Sandburg's one of us, sir," he said in his ear.  The man stiffened and glared at him.  Tony smirked and nodded.  "He is.  A protege and student of our National Head a few years back.  I came in about the same time he did."  He handed over something.  "Butterscotch?"  He let the guy suck on it for now to get himself back under control until his people could come get him.  He helped the general up so they could look at the robot, him giving it a test kick on the side.  It shifted.  "Gibbs, is there an access panel?"

"Not that I'm aware of."  He came over to look once the other guy was gone.

Abby came to help, finding one on the back of his neck.  "Here.  Screwed in."  Gibbs handed her his pocket knife so she opened it gently, then pulled the switch inside.  The robot powered down.  She beamed.  "So, how many more are there?"

"Many," the general complained.  "Gibbs, I'll have them quietly removed today and tomorrow.  Thank you for bringing this to my attention.  How is Mr. Harris?"

"He managed to get rescued from the island where they were made and going to keep him forever until he had children so they could raise baby Xanders," Tony quipped.  "I'm sure I can get a map if we wanted to go invade their labs?"

"Some of our geniuses might want to," he admitted.

Greg strolled over.  "Horatio had to get permission for them to land in Miami.  A few of the FBI geeks down there have a report, sir.  Including a copy of the will."

"Even better.  I'll get it through official channels.  How did you get the list, Gibbs?"

"A priest of Strife's, sir."

"Strife?" he asked calmly.

"Xander's a high priest to the God of Mischief," Greg said happily.  "We all thought it fit him *very* well."

The general moaned, rubbing his head.  "I'm sure it does.  You boys and Abby go back to work.  Let me handle this."  They nodded, leaving him to clean up the mess.  "Strife?" he muttered.  "Who prays to the Greek gods today?"

One woman walked out, looking at him.  "There is a large subgroup of Pagan soldiers, sir.  Can I help with him?"

"No, thank you anyway, Airman."  He looked at her.  "May I see the back of your neck?"  She gave him an odd look.  "Just to check something."  She turned and let him see.  No seam.  "Thank you, Airman.  He's a problem and we found wiring in his neck."  She just nodded and left him alone while he called someone to come pick him up for investigation and testing.  He now hated Gibbs nearly as much as he hated the very concept of GHS. They'd have to find a way to make sure no GHS member ever served in the armed forces again.  He followed the robot's body off, going to talk with the quiet team about this.  He showed them the list, what frequency was used, and checked all their necks.  They stripped the sergeant down and found other ports for him to plug in and recharge, download things, and other ports they had to identify.  In all, it was a good working copy.  The others were quietly retrieved and knocked out.  One had a different port and it lead to another issue.  How to find other ones not in the service?  He sent an email to Gibbs that night, getting one back from Tony about what they knew.  They could raid the guy's files.  That was a good thing.  He probably had files on each one he had made.  The storage media they found was downloaded, decrypted, and searched through.  They were picking future targets to replace and had a lot of information they could use against other people that they wanted to get rid of.  So maybe the robots did have a use after all.

***

Horatio walked up to where Xander was finishing his morning katas, smiling at him.  "They found over two hundred fake people," he said quietly.

Xander stopped to look at him.  "That many?"

"Not including the ones on the island.  Those they broadcast at then rushed in to disable and search for records.  That's how they found the others."

"I had no idea this was going to happen, Horatio!"

"I know, Xander.  We don't blame you.  Though it is a story that the whole convention will love.  You're probably the only GHS ever abducted by cyborgs."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks for telling me that."  He gave him a hug.  "How has your day been?"

"Uneventful.  My boss heard why I had to fly down and why Mac took the time off.  The person who told him even gave him specs so he could see how bad they were.  He asked me if Mr. Wolfe was one."  Xander snickered.  "I had to assure him he wasn't, it was the OCD."  He patted him on the arm.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  It's creepy but then again with what I've seen who knows what'll happen."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "A point was raised, Xander.  Are you saving for later lives?"

Xander nodded.  "Of course I am.  That's why I have Steve."  Horatio smiled.  "Are they worried about that?"

"We've all seen some of your plans, like the farm, but you do hide many things from us, Xander.  What would we know about any plans you're making?"

"They're in the office," he said, starting to pout.  "I'm not trying to hide them."

Horatio nodded.  "I understand."  He gave him another gentle pat.  "Perhaps you should start the conversation this time instead of letting them think you're avoiding the topic?"  Xander sighed but nodded.  "Good boy.  Is Ray here?"

"No.  Was he supposed to be?"  Horatio nodded.  "Huh.  I know he's not off with a girl."

"No, but he said he had to skip school today.  He was on a surge."

Xander shrugged.  "Vesvold?" he called.  "Have you seen Ray Junior?"

The demon who loved him appeared, nodding at Horatio.  "I have.  He's downtown."

"Doing...?"

"Right now he's complaining and whining about the people who have him hostage because they wanted to break him in then sell him.  They think some Asian businessman who's had a few different GHS members would pay highly for him."

"Might you have an address?"

Vesvold wrote it down and handed it to him.  "He's on the third floor as far as I know.  There's about ten of them."

"SWAT is going to be helping me.  Thank you, Vesvold."  He walked off, calling it in.  "This is Horatio Caine.  It was reported to me that my nephew has been kidnaped and is being held downtown.  I need SWAT to meet me on Hacienda."  He hung up as he got into the hummer, waving before heading off.  He was going to beat his nephew for putting himself in jeopardy that way.  SWAT got there right after he did.  He let them have the address and what he knew.  "I was told there were as many as ten hostage takers in there.  He's supposed to be on the third floor.  They're planning on selling him to some businessman with a taste for young boys."

The head of SWAT gave him a look.  "He GHS?" he asked quietly.

"Level four.  Very low and still not radiating that way, gentlemen."  That got a nod.  "He does know self defense as well.  I have no idea how they got him.  He was on his way to see Mr. Harris."  That got another nod and they moved in.  Horatio took the rear position and it went by the book.  They found Ray on the third floor.  They found twelve people, including one with a briefcase of money.  He got his nephew free once everyone was on the floor, looking him over.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine but they gassed me from my car."

"You have a car?" he asked dryly.

"Xander got me a car," he said sheepishly.  "He said every boy needs a car, Uncle Horatio."  Horatio raised an eyebrow up behind his sunglasses.  "It's a modest little economy car, not something flashy."

"I see.  He didn't tell me that."

"He didn't tell anyone that.  Danny might know if he checked the purchase history."  He shrugged.  "They thought they were going to get back at you by doing this.  Apparently he tried to have you and didn't make it?"

Horatio looked at them, going to look inside the briefcase, nodding.  "It is someone who tried to steal me once," he admitted.  The new guy on the team moaned at that.  He glared.  "It was many years ago, I was a rookie myself."  He handed it over.  "Ray, where were you taken from?"

"The driveway."

"Then we'll go see this new car, nephew.  Right after the ER checks you over."  He pouted but nodded, going with him.  "Thank you, gentlemen.  Please don't make me deal with them myself?  The Chief does seem to hate it when I have to add extra cleaners to the lab."  They shuddered but took them off so they could be arrested.  Ray was checked over then the car got a long stare once they made it home.  He called Speed.  "Did you know that Xander bought the nephew a Ford Escort?"  He snickered at the swearing.  "He said every young man should have a car.  No, he's fine.  We've made sure of it.  Someone who tried me in my rookie year and lost.  Thank you, Speed."  He found the keys, using the remote to turn on the alarm.  Then he handed them over.  "We'll be yelling at Xander and you should have told us."

"I only got it last night.  I was going to show it off today at lunch, that way you'd have time to calm down."

"A wise plan, nephew.  You did get my brains."  He patted him on the back.  "Come on. You can come to the lab with me today."  He nodded, following him.  By the time they had gotten there, Speed had complained to Danny and Don, who had complained to Xander.  So when they got home that night the Escort had been joined by a low-slung sports car.  "Not funny," Horatio muttered.

Speed moaned, patting it.  "Poor baby.  Fast but poor baby.  No, nephew, you can't drive it."

"Not even once?" he begged.

"No.  You can ride in it while I drive it."  He smirked.  "They go *very* fast."

"Which is why you're not driving it either," Horatio assured him, taking the keys that had been taped under the back spoiler.  He went to call Xander and complain to him.  The guy tried to play innocent but he didn't lie very well.

***

Horatio got up the next morning and nearly shrieked in outrage.  His beautiful, sand colored hummer was baby blue!  This was *not* allowed!

Speed came out to look, frowning.  "When did we get an H-1?"  Horatio spun to look at him.  He pointed at the blue one.  "That's an H-1 and you drive an H-2, which you put into the garage last night," he reminded him.  Horatio went to check.  Sure enough, there was his baby.  Speed went to look inside the hummer, finding a card.   "I thought I was the only smartass in the family."

Horatio came to read the card over his shoulder.  "That's not Xander's handwriting."  They both moaned and went to call the trio.  "Boys," Horatio said.  "We think Ray may have his first stalker."

"Told you I didn't buy him the sports car!" Xander yelled over the speaker.  He was apparently across the room or something.  "I'd never do that to Ray.  He's not ready for fast stuff yet.  I tested him in my baby and he nearly crashed."

"I'm sorry I doubted you, Xander," Horatio said.  "Might you know who the person is?"

"Yeah, it's the female type person who keeps hitting on him probably."  Then he hung up with a, "duh, need coffee much."

Horatio went to get coffee so his thoughts would calm down.  "Ray, who is stalking you?" he asked since he found him in there.

"I am?"

"Xander said it might be the woman hitting on you?"

"Huh.  The woman or the other one?"

"He said the female type person," Speed said.  "By the way, you have a hummer too."

"Yay me.  I don't have the ability to control a hummer," he said dryly.  "That's why Xander said he wouldn't buy me one."  He went back to his homework.  "It could be the tree demon who keeps hitting on me when I go in for coffee before school or it could be my math teacher.  Or it could be that woman who drives by our school to pick up boys.  I turned her in though."  He considered it.  He called Xander.  "Who's been hitting on me?" Xander described her.  "Oh, her.  Yeah, could be.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at them.  "My math teacher."  He went back to his homework.

"Your teacher is hitting on you?" Speed asked.

Ray smirked.  "Just a bit."

"No, Ray," Horatio ordered.  "You may not take part in a scandal that would end up on the national news."  He saw a flash and went to stop whoever it was.  "You would be?" he demanded.

"Messenger," it squeaked, bowing low.  "The young one is our prince.  The queen wants him to be feted so he comes home soon."

Ray came to the door.  "As much as I love my mother, she's not a queen.  I'm not a prince either.  I belch way too often for that."

The small demon stared at him.  "Our queen said you were."

"I'd like to talk to her in person but no more presents," Ray said.  "You're upsetting my uncles."  It held up the newest one so he could examine it.  He whistled.  "That's beautiful work.  Silver or platinum?"

"Pure silver."  He let Ray hold it.  "It pleased the queen to have it made for you."

"We will be talking to her," Horatio said firmly.  "Raymond is underage."  The demon gave him an odd look then shook his head.  "Yes, he is.  He is not yet sixteen."

The demon shrugged again.  "To us mature is mature, no age limit."  He disappeared.

Horatio looked at it.  "I don't think it's a good idea for you to wear it until we have this cleared up, Ray," he said quietly.

"I'm not, I'm admiring."  He grinned, taking it to put it inside the new hummer.  He looked.  "Kicking sound system. I can thump the rich gangster boys off the road, Uncle H."

"Please don't, Ray."  Vesvold appeared. "Vesvold, would you happen to know about this?"

"She nominated him."  He smiled at the young man.  "It is an honor but you would be used horribly to get new heirs to the kingdom since she cannot any longer.  She thought you were sweet and that's why she chose you."

"I should send it back then?" Ray asked.

"You should make your intentions clear," Vesvold agreed.  "Come, we'll talk to her.  I'll protect him as I would Xander, Horatio."

"We trust you," Speed assured him.  That got a nod and they disappeared.  Ray came back twenty minutes later and as shaking his head.  "Didn't take no for an answer?"

"Thought men could bear babies and I had to prove her wrong."  The hummer and the pretty new thing from today vanished.  "She said I could keep the sports car because I saved her while we were over there."  He gave his uncle a hug.  "You handle these things so much better."

"No one's ever wanted me to be their prince," he teased.

"Princess...." Speed drawled, giving him a smug look.

"You said you'd forget that."

"Uh-huh.  I have, ninety-five percent of the time," he assured him smugly.  He went back inside.  "Come on, Ray. Food."  He hurried in to eat with them.  Horatio walked inside shaking his head.  Speed knew he'd get pounced later but that was all good with him.  After all, pouncing was a fun game.

***

Xander walked into Horatio's office with a large basket.  "Why did the queen that likes Ray decide to try for me to breed with her?"

"I'm not sure.  He had to prove to her that men don't bear children."  He looked at him, smiling a bit.  "Taking them on a picnic lunch?"

"No, it's my crocheting."  He smirked.  "I brought something for you."  He pulled it out and handed it over.  "For the new sports car and I made one for the Ducatti too."  He handed over that folded bit of yarn too.  Then he bounced out happily.

"We have got to find him a more manly hobby," Horatio decided, paging Speed.  He walked in and got handed the masses of  yarn.  "Xander made one for the sports car and one for your bike."  Then he stood up and walked  out, closing the door behind him.  He could hear Speed muttering.  He wanted to be far away when he called to thank Xander and got pouted at for it.  Let him laugh over the hummer cozy again.

***

Danny walked out to where Don's desk was a few minutes later.  "Our boy is picking on H again."

"Why?" Frank asked, grinning at him.

"He made a Ducatti cozy in a bright yellow with racing stripes of black yarn.  He made one for Ray Junior's new sports car that some thing gave him too."

Don's head thumped on the desk.  "We have *got* to find him a more manly hobby."

"Find one and suggest it, Don."  He patted him on the back, walking off to Frank giggling and Don groaning.

Ray K looked over at them then shook his head.  "I emailed Adam to see if he had a suggestion.  I couldn't even find a translator for the one I got back.  I don't know why he has this thing against knitting and crocheting but I'll be thumped tonight with the nightmares."  He went back to work.  "What about leather working so he can make new saddles and bags and stuff?"

Don looked up at him.  "One of his first projects will be a leather thong.  Do you think you wanna wear one?"

"Depends on if they're comfy or not," he said without pausing his typing.  "He could end up making his own really tight leather pants too."

"Then he'll get taken again," Don complained.

"It a bit obvious but what about sword repair?" Frank asked.  "Then he could get more delicate and do jewelry or something.  Horseshoes too."

"I'll suggest it," Don offered.  "Thanks, Frank."

"Welcome.  Then he can make his own hair pins too."

"He needs to quit sharpening the ones he has so much.  They're pointy in the middle of the night."

"He wears his hair up at night?" Frank asked.

Don looked at him.  "Have you ever had a hair blanket that covers your head and then goes down?"

"Suffocates you?"

"Yup.  Me and Danny.  We suggested a braid but he didn't like it.  Said it felt lumpy."

Frank shook his head.  "The things you put up with to have a  hot lover who'd do anything for you."

"Yeah, hair pins sticking me on the chest and neck are worth having him."  He went back to work.   Though he did text Xander that suggestion.

Ares appeared, leaning down to look at him.  "No," he said slowly and clearly.  "Clothes, leather, that stuff.  Not metal.  Hephie doesn't like GHS members that much at the moment.  They keep praying to him to make pretty things for the kidnapings and it's pissing Aphrodite off.  Which pisses him off.  Suggest the leather idea.  It's comfy and you'd look good in leather."  He disappeared again.

Frank snickered. "Guess he told you."

Don pouted but made that suggestion, getting back a happy face.  "He liked it."

***

Xander stopped in at a fabric place, walking inside.  "Where would I go to learn how to make leather stuff?"

The saleswoman frowned.  "We don't carry much leather here.  Are we talking like handbags?"

"And saddle bags, that stuff."

"Hmm.  I know there's a place in town that sells raw leather but I'm not sure where.  You might check one of the sex shops, see if they know.  Or an S&M club maybe?"  He beamed and nodded, heading to do that.  It was the first time she had been asked that question.

Xander drove to the one S&M club he knew, and had been invited to.  He walked inside after showing his ID and being found on the 'acceptable visitors' list.  He walked up to the bar and leaned on it.  "My lovers just suggested I learn how to work with leather for things like bags and cuffs and thongs and things.  Any idea where I'd go to learn that?"

The man considered it.  "I don't right off the top of my head but I know someone who might.  There's a guy who makes his own gear who comes here.  He should be in later this week.  Leave your card so he can get in touch with you?"  Xander nodded, writing it down for him and handing it over.  "I'll let him have it for you, sir.  Are you applying for membership?"

"My lovers would get picky about that."  That got a smile.  "But I might if they'd let me."

"You know, you don't have to put up with bullying doms," he said quietly.  "There's lots of nice doms around here."

Xander smirked.  "I'm a GHS member.  They're my keepers."  He moaned at that.  Xander nodded.  "They had a problem with me crocheting."

He snickered.  "Well, leather can bring all sorts of fun ideas to the family.  I'll definitely let him have it."

He looked at him.  "Is there somewhere I can wear out the hormone surges that's safe and discreet?  My keeper's a cop.  A very tired cop now and then."

"Julio's down toward the Keys.  There's a few good ones in town.  Let me get you an Index."  He went to get one from the boss and brought it out.  "Here, try these places," he said, opening it to show him.  Xander beamed and he felt himself drawn toward him.  He got a kiss for it and nearly moaned in pleasure.  Then the boy bounced out with the Index.   He wrote down the question and who it should go to, putting it behind the bar in the guy's message box.  That way the brain numbing kiss wouldn't make him forget about it.

***

Xander bounced into Ray Junior, giving him a hug.  "I got a new idea."

"Dude, you're acting *way* gay in public," he teased.

Xander pouted.  "I'm allowed.  I am gay.  I have two wonderful keepers."

"Good point.  So what's the idea?"

"Well, Don suggested I look into leather work as a new hobby since they're still being a bit creeped out by the crocheting stuff."  Ray snickered.  "By the way I made your sports car a cozy too."

"Thanks, I'm sure it'll keep it neat and clean until Uncle Speed lets me drive it."  He walked him off, waving at a few friends who were giving them odd looks.  "He's a friend of the family," he explained.

Xander smirked.  "I'm the one who drives that hot ass corvette, boys.  I'm training Ray in how to pick up a decent lover when he's old enough."  That got a moan.  He winked at one flamingly gay boy.  "He's still trying to convince me he's straight."

"Me too," he teased.  "You're that Harris guy, right?  The GHS member?"  He nodded. "Wow.  My uncle knows about you."

"He's an officer?"

"Yup."

"Half of them do since a few saves now," he admitted, getting a grin from Ray and a nod.  "Last time from cyborgs.  Because damn, I'm good enough for people to make new sciences on my behalf."  The other kid snickered and walked off laughing.  "I still think it was funny that someone was protesting that the robotic gopher was better than the original."  He walked Ray out to his car.  "I am going to an auction tomorrow.  Want to come?  It's after school.  It's jewelry and pretty things.  Some minor stuff."

"Aren't we worried about retirement funds and stuff?"

"Yeah but jewels never go down in value, Ray.  They make a good retirement fund.  That's why I have a few mil in them."  He smirked at him.  "Plus I'm thinking about maybe trading with a few of the gem dealers who're going to be there.  I needed the introduction."

"Sure, I can do that," he agreed.  "Real clothes?"

"Sure.  I can introduce you as my protege and evil helper too," he teased.

Ray snorted.  "Minion material I am not.  Second-in-command I can do."

"Okay.  Wear the blue armani I bought you?"

"I can do that.  What're you wearing?"

Xander winked.  "I'm going as the fabulous GHS I am, Ray.  They've heard of me before."  He winked and slid into his car.  "Lunch?"

"Later.  Head off, I've got to check in with the uncles and grab something first for a school project."

"Need help?"

"Nope.  Have fun puttering."

"Sure."  He headed off to do that and to ride his horses for a while.

Ray shook his head.  Sometimes Xander was a big goofball.  A cute one but still a big goofball.

My Babies!

Note:  the cyborg chasing scene is courtesy of Dragfox.

Ray finished fussing with his subtle, dark blue Armani suit and black shirt, checking his shoes before looking over at Xander.  Who was wearing silk pants and a silk button-up shirt but nothing else.  His trademark hair was in a low ponytail with a bit of sparkle from the diamond and ruby hair clip holding it together.  His bracelet was a platinum strand of metal.  His throat wore a matching strand for a necklace.  He nodded.  Xander looked hot.  Even though you could tell he wasn't wearing any underwear.  "Won't they object to the lack of panties?"

"Not from a higher level GHS.  They're amused when we show up dressed."  He grinned and they went to the bank to finish picking out what he was bringing with him.  Then to the auction.  He handed over his invitation and got a nod, letting them inside.  He got them through security.  "This is my assistant, Ray.  His uncle's with the PD," he told the off-duty cop.

He nodded.  "I've seen him around.  Mr. Caine."

He grinned.  "Ray, please.  I love being Xander's assistant.  I'm never bored."  That got a laugh.  "Can you watch his car?  He brought some samples in case he meets a dealer he wants to trade with."

"Of course.  The corvette or the assault vehicle, Mr. Harris?"

"Xander," he chided with a small smile.  "I drove the 'vette."

"We'll watch it for you, sir."  They nodded and walked inside.  He pulled out his phone to text his boss, just in case something happened.  Had no one warned the rest of them that the most kidnaped man in Miami was going to be here?  Or had he missed a briefing?

Xander sat down with Ray beside him, looking around the auction area.  "I don't know two of the gem dealers but I do know one.  Give me a second, Ray."  He stood up and walked down there, smiling at one of them.  "Good afternoon, Paulie."

"Xander," he said, hopping up to shake his hand.  "More investment pieces?"

"Thinking about it and seeing if there's other gem dealers here I haven't met yet."

"I do know that one here does work with other GHS members," he admitted, leading him over there.  "Mr. Verchin," he said respectfully.  "This is Mr. Xander Harris.  He's a level ten GHS, the one I got that interesting emerald off of."

He looked at him and smirked. "I know of your kind.  I've worked with a few European ones in the past," he said with a gentle German accent.

Xander grinned.  "There's a few of us over there.  Paulie helps me locally when I have to dump some that I've gotten as presents that I don't want to keep.  Speaking of, Paulie, I got  another six or seven the other day and the vault is full.  I have some here if you're interested in looking later.  Or you, of course," he said with a smile.  "Gotta make room in case I find something pretty today."

He nodded.  "I would like that.  In here?"

"In the car.  No one's going to touch my car."  He smiled and shook his hand.  "I'd best get back to my seat.  Looks like we're about to start."  He headed back there.

Paulie looked at him.  "I've gotten some very good pieces from him because he doesn't haggle much on the price.  He has a very wide selection from some very generous... donors."

"I'll look at what he has then.  Most upper level GHS are plagued with that sort of problem if they come out into public.  I don't know many of his level that do."

"His two keepers are officers locally."

"Ah.  He's bored."

Paulie nodded.  "He used to play high stakes poker all the time."

"Interesting.  The one with him?"

"The dayshift felony crime lab's head is his uncle.  He's Xander's protege and a lesser level."

"Very interesting.  Thank you, Paulie."  He went back to his seat, leaving him to think about that.  He loved GHS members.  They often didn't appreciate what they were getting so they let things go at a minimal price.  The auction started and he found the boy had a very keen eye as to what he liked.  He went for unique, things with odd cuts or occlusions inside them.  Interesting choices.  That meant he was probably getting rid of the normal things.  He did get the three pieces he wanted and the boy didn't bid too hard when they both wanted the same thing.  So he wasn't hunting, he was bored and window shopping.

When three guys in masks and guns came in, shooting the ceiling to make their point, Xander looked back.  "Ray," he warned.  "This sort are very serious."

"I know."  He texted his uncle by feel in his pocket.  The guy pointed a gun at him.  "Morning," he said calmly.

"Rich son?" he sneered.

"His assistant," he said, nodding at Xander.  "I'm holding the checkbook for his husband."

"Then you probably have a lot of spare cash for donation purposes," the thief said, pointing his gun at Xander.  "Give it over and the jewelry."

Xander pulled out his wallet, holding up the cards.  "I brought plastic and bank account numbers for warm transfers.  Not cash.  I wasn't going to carry cash to this event."  The thief sneered so he took off the jewelry and handed it over, pulling out a hairband to pull it back again because it was in the way.  "Leave my assistant alone please.  His uncle is a local officer with a very bad temper.  That's why I'm allowed to teach him office things."

"Office things?" he joked.  "You're a secretary?"

"No, I used to work construction then I got a sugar daddy," he said dryly, giving him a look.  "Take it and move on if you want it.  We won't be resisting."  He walked off to threaten the next person.  "Much," Xander muttered, raising his pheromone level.  Ray shot him a glare.  He gave him a look back.  "I hate boring people.  They annoy me."  He went back to it, watching two of the three thieves fall to their knees.  The last one glared at him so he blew a kiss.  "What?"

"You're coming with us.  I'm sure you have a good ride."

"I drive a classic sports car.  No I don't.  It won't fit all of you."  He shot his two failing accomplices and Xander stood up when he stomped back.  "Do not bring that near my assistant again," he warned.  The guy pointed it at him.  Xander sneered.  "Think you'll make it out of here?"  He nodded, moving the gun some.  Xander moved faster, elbowing him in the face then taking the gun to point at him.  "Unlike you, little boy, I know how to take the safety off."  He clicked it off again.  "And I know how to use it with precision that means I'm a marksman with this type of gun.   I can blow the hairs off  your balls if you move."  He stared down at him.  "Take off the mask.  Now."  He did it.  Ray finished calling in help.  Officers rushed in and he handed over the gun.  "Are you all right, Ray?"

"I'm fine, Xander.  Sit."  He sat down again.  "They were really rude," he told the officer.  "They threatened Xander and things.  Then they came near me with the gun."

"I don't know why he didn't fall like the others do when I spike it suddenly," Xander told an officer who had rescued him in the past.  "Oh, he has my necklace, bracelet, and hair band."

The officer nodded. "Did you dampen it?"

"As soon as the other two went to their knees," Ray assured him. "Did Uncle H call?"

"He did.  He wasn't sure where you were.  Your finger slid off the right key."  He patted him on the head.  "Cute outfit, Ray."

"Xander bought it for me."

"He has good taste."  They carted the two moaning, complaining thieves and the healthy one off.  "Sorry they were so rude, people.  We'll get the things they stole back to the proper people in a little while.  If you'll sit there for a few minutes we'll get a list of who stole what."  They drug them to the cars then came back to get that list and take statements.

Xander shrugged at the looks he got.  "I hate being kidnaped.  It's annoying.  It spoils my mood and I don't need to be in a bad mood.  Then people try to play with my hair and I hate that even more.  Hair yankers suck."

Ray shook his head.  "He has a unique outlook on life," he told one matron.

"GHS?" she asked.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Most of you do.  Though I do like your hair."

"Thank you."  He grinned.  "It's a fun toy now and then."  She laughed.  He looked at the other dealer.  "Want to go look at my car's stuff?"

"If you want and you're still bored."

"Yeah, I kinda am."  He made sure the auction people had the account information they'd need and took him out there to show him what they had taken out of the bank.  He gaped then looked at him.  "I have a lot more than this in the bank.  They made me quit storing it at the house."  He leaned on the side of the car.  "I've let a few gem merchants from New York look when we took things to the bank but half of that wasn't there because it's been found recently."

"You own a mine?"

"No, I own a way to go off the plane and find things," he admitted.  He grinned.  "I deal a lot in the supernatural stuff actually.  If you've heard of them, I used to work with a member of the Watcher's Council."

"Interesting."  He did know about them and he hated them but oh well.  Business with this one was very good.  He found what he wanted and agreed on a price, having it sent electronically.  The rest got put back into a bag and Ray came out with Xander's purchases.  They smiled and headed off together while he made sure that the stones were real and normal.  Other planes sounded bad but they were real and they reacted normally.  So no difference there.  Simply a difference in origin he decided.

***

Xander walked into the High Demonic Council's chamber, leaning down to kiss Vesvold on the head.  "The present you wanted me to find for your mother's birthday."  He handed it over.  "I think she'll like that."  He grinned.  "It's a mirror stone.  That way you don't have to unwrap the good job Ray Junior did."  He winked and walked off again.

Vesvold smiled, putting it into his pocket.  A few of the other demons gave him odd looks.  "I don't have time to shop.  I asked him to look for something for me so I could run down and buy it for Mother."  He patted the present and they got back to business.

"You know, we could use him to handle that demon and vampire problem on that one realm," one of the others on the Council suggested.  "He did used to hunt.  They'd be drawn to him.  We could send an extermination team with him as a distraction."

"That's too extreme," Vesvold complained.  "Not that Xander wouldn't if you asked, but I think that's a bit extreme."  They nodded.  "We might be able to convince him to use his powers to bring them out of their lair.  That would help."  He pulled Xander and the dragon he had been petting back.  "Xander, we have a unique problem.  We have a set of very bad demons and vampires in one clan that has been causing problems."

"The ones that were running the gang in New York?"  He nodded.  "They're hiding again, aren't they?  I know last time no one could get them because they went into hiding."

"We know where they are this time.  We have no way of getting them out."

"You think they'll come for me?"

"I think you're distracting enough for them to come out and beg," he said honestly, earning a smile that made him warm.  "We'd lend you backup and help to make sure you're all right."

"That'd be nice."

Ryan appeared with Strife then Strife disappeared.  "Anything like that and we have to agree and he has to go with at least one of his protectors as well.  Which usually means me."

"That would be more than acceptable to us," Vesvold agreed.  "Plus we'd send a few others with you two to protect you."

Ryan nodded.  "Xander?"

He shrugged.  "Can't do it today.  We're cleaning the ferret's cage and I'll need specs so I can plan."

"I can get you those," another councilor agreed.  "We do know that your past hunting skills are still intact."

Xander grinned.  "It helps to beat the demons off my ass when they come for me."  That got a few snickers.  "Send it to the house.  We'll handle it."  That got a nod and they left, being sent back to the house.  He grinned at Ryan.  "Long time  no see."

"Work's been hell.  No lunches recently?"

"The boss got onto me.  Plus Danny said I couldn't because I gave Ray Junior a car."  Ryan snickered and nodded.  "Help me clean or are you on duty?"

"I was but Strife kidnaped me.  Calleigh saw."  He called her. "It's me.  I'm back.  Xander's.  They wanted him to raid a demon clan that's being annoying.  Yup, that stuff. Sure, get me a ride."  He hung up and gave Xander a hug.  "See you for dinner?"

"Sure."  Ryan smiled before heading out to catch a ride with a cruiser that was doing a neighborhood patrol.  That way he could get back to work.

Xander smiled at his pet dragon. "Hubert, that was a very nice offer, wasn't it?"  They got back to work playing with the ferrets while they cleaned their cages.  It was good playtime.

***

Gibbs looked at the newly reprogrammed robots, then at the General who had control over them.  "What's she supposed to do?"

"Give you some helping dealing with DiNozzo and Sanders," he said, giving him a look.  "They've got built-in pheromone monitors.  They were programmed to handle it if a GHS was going on a surge or spike or whatever they call them."

"Annoying usually," Gibbs told him.

"Me too.  Especially since Sanders had that small surge while questioning the witness about the body dropped outside the White House and the residue on the poor witness made the president go into a moment of gay panic."  Gibbs coughed at that.  "I know they can't help it, Gibbs.   If they could they'd probably all want cured."

"Harris seems to have fun."

"Harris is insane anyway.  Looking into his past showed me why."   He looked at his subordinate officer.  "I don't care if the world is ending, I do not want to see Harris on a military base ever the hell again, Gibbs."

"He's been on one?" he asked.  He shrugged.  "Was there a surge or something, sir?"

"Have someone down in Miami tell you why, Gibbs."  He looked at the robot.  "Which one's here?"

"Sanders.   His level apparently varies by how well his hair does that morning or his moods, something like that."  The general snickered.   "I don't know.  I know when his hair goes well for him he's a level six.  When it doesn't or he's upset he's a level four."  He shrugged.  "I'm still learning all this stuff, sir."

"It's not exactly the Marine way."

"No, I can't see all the GHS members being Marines," he said dryly.  "Trying to get them to march in formation would be enough to make every single drill instructor get too drunk to work."

"Don't give me thoughts like that, Jethro."

"I'll try not to have them myself."  He watched as Greg was let into the room with the robot.

The robot looked at him.  "Who're you?"

"Greg Sanders.  Level six GHS.  I'm a past lover of Xander's."

She blinked while she processed then came over to lay a hand on his throat.  "You're on a surge, Greg.  We have to take care of that."

"How would you suggest I do that?"

She opened her chest panel and pulled out something no one had been sure about.  Then she attached it to her hand.  "I can handle that for you so your surge does not upset others.  Please drop your pants."

"Um, no."

"Drop your pants now please.  Do not make me get forceful.  I'm told GHS don't like that."  He gave her an odd look then looked toward the window, shaking his head.  "Sir, it is most important that we fix this before someone unworthy shows up to take you from us."  She reached for his belt but he smacked her hand.  She huffed.  "Well, that's not nice of you.  We must take care of this."  He opened the door and walked out but she followed, the sex toy attached to her palm still firm and glowing just a bit from the embedded lights.  "Come back here, young man, before we have problems and you're taken again.  It won't hurt, I've been fully trained in how to handle a surge and how best to wear those pheromones out.  After all, there is only one cure for a surge."  She tried to pin him against the wall but someone flipped the switch on her neck and she powered down.

Tony grinned at him.  "She was chasing you around with a sex toy?"

"I put up an intentional surge to see what she'd do.  Gibbs' orders," he said grimly, stepping over her.  She lunged up and Tony had to move him.

Gibbs shot the taser into her chest, making her reset and power down.  "Didn't mean for that to happen, Sanders."

"Just don't let her bugger me with the sex toy.  Eww," he complained, walking off with Tony.   He turned around.  "Don't try to send them to Xander either.  Ryan would end up taking them out and so would Don."

"Going to lunch, boss," Tony called as they walked off again.

"Fine.  Be careful.  Call McGee or Abby every few minutes so we know where you are."  They both waved and he groaned, looking at the general.  "Looks like the programming needs tweaked again."

"I'd say," he muttered.  He waved the science team to come get her and take her away.  "We'll try.  Maybe we can offer them as protection for the average GHS."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Some of the other higher members might not mind that flaw.  Let me talk to the national head?"

"If you want.  You know him?"

"I met Adam a few months back, sir.  DiNozzo and Harris are friends."  He walked off dialing his phone.  "Adam, Gibbs.  Those cyborgs Harris found come with a program to help the GHS surging.  Think anyone would like that?"  He smirked.  "Sure, I can get the demo we just did released to you.  Sanders.  Chased him down with a sex toy.  Yup.  No, I don't think Harris would but what about the other GHS?"  He smirked.  "Exactly, plus they could help by going on rescues probably.  I know there was a security program as well."  He laughed at the grumble.  "If it'll help someone we don't care.  The general didn't veto it."  He nodded.  "I can do that.  Sure, who?"  He wrote down the name.  "I can have a pass for her.  How long will it take her?"  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Thank you, Adam."  He hung up and went back inside, handing over the name.  "She is a level nine that is sequestered in Baltimore.  She'll come down to see if it can work for the average GHS."

"I'll have her admitted," he said, going to do that.  Maybe they'd keep some of the insanity down after all.

***

Speed got the email from Tony later that night, looking at the message that went to his phone.  He opened it, staring at the simple words.  "Hey, Xander, Marian, the level nine who lives in Baltimore, wanted to know if you'd be upset that she wanted some of the cyborgs."

"More power to her."

"You sure?" Don teased.  "They might miss you."

Xander looked at him.  "I talked to Greggy.  They were testing what would happen when a GHS was going into a surge.  She chased him around a military base with a sex toy attached to her hand while ordering him to drop his pants; that she'd take good care of him and was fully programmed for his pleasure."  Horatio choked on air.  He nodded.  "If that'll help her, more power to her.  Maybe they can even go on rescues for her."

Horatio shook his head quickly.  "I'm sure it'll work out fine.  What are you going to do with the island now that the cyborgs are gone?"

"I can either keep it, suggest to Jace that she use it for the resort, a further destination for safety reasons.   We'd have to bless the ground so it became holy ground but it could happen.  Or I can keep it for between lives for all of us."  He looked around.  "Any opinions?"

"Let Jace have it," Ray K. offered.

Ray Junior looked at him.  "He should keep it for vacations and those in-between the lives times.  That way you all have somewhere secure."

"We have a few of those and the resort is one," Danny said.  "It'd do good for all of us."  Don nodded that he agreed.

Adam considered it.  "Either option would work but the resort taking it over and having it blessed might be more beneficial in the long run.  This way you don't have to worry about including it in a will."

Xander looked at him.  "We already have figured out, Adam.  Plus all the next life stuff."  He smiled at that.  "I've been making plans.  I can do that now and then.  I've even had some contacts make next life identities for us all.  Plus backup ones in case we need them for work reasons."

"You're going to work at a job where you might have to go undercover?" Ray Junior asked.

Xander gave him that special dumbass look.  "No.  It still might come in handy."  Ryan stomped in.  "You're back," he said happily.

"I am back.  Have they showed up with the plans so you can get those demons out of their hidden spot yet?"

"Nope."

"Um...." Danny started.

"'Scuse me?" Don asked.

"The High Council is having problems with this demon gang out of New York that's been causing problems in one of the demonic realms.  They've barricaded themselves somewhere and they need a way to get them out," Xander said, giving them a look.  "Vesvold asked for help and Ryan showed up to remind him that I wasn't allowed on the demon realms without backup."

"No," Don said, shaking his head.

"I'd have half the Council's bodyguards with me," Xander assured him.

"No," Danny said, shaking his head too.  "No way.  They can figure out another way.  It's too dangerous.  You could get stolen again.  No."

Xander stuck his tongue out.  "I'm not your slave, I can do it to help them.  They caused me problems too."  He looked at Horatio, who was also shaking his head.  "I didn't introduce the topic for discussion," he said dryly.  "I'm doing it.  Before I have to get bored and go shopping downtown again."  They all moaned.  *That* was a clear threat.  Last time they had to rescue him from officers holding him hostage after he had hormoned half the downtown area and nearly had to rescue him from some new cult that had sprung up to his hair and magnificence.  "Good, we're agreed then, I'm not asking for permission, I'm going."  He looked at Ryan.  "Though I could spank you."

"Like to see you try," he said smugly.  Xander lunged and managed to catch him just enough off guard to tackle him and the further wiggling and rolling around he lost too.  "I need to spar with you again," he said, flipping them back over before he could be spanked.  Ray Junior reached down to tickle him, giving Xander the upper hand.  "HEY!" he shouted, then yelped when Xander spanked him.  "No fair!"

"I'm his assistant," Ray Junior said with a bright, happy grin.

"That's a way we can ground you beyond the car," Horatio decided.

Ray gave him that dumbass look he'd learned off Xander.  "Then he'd be bored again.  I'm keeping him from being so bored, Uncle H."

Speed shuddered.  "No, we like that calling.  It's a good calling," Speed assured his lover.  "Almost as strong as one to be a priest."  Don snickered at that.  Ryan yelped again when Hubert nipped him.  "Quit, Hubert."  The two guys got off the floor, letting the dragon have the warm, comfy spot he liked to sleep in.  He even reached down to pet him.  "Did they disturb your nap, Hubert?"  The dragon nodded, falling asleep while  having some head scratches.  This one had good fingers.

Xander gave his dragon a look.  "You've been fussy recently."

Danny hauled him between him and Don.  "We'll be looking over this plan."

Xander gave him a look.  "I did plan things back in Sunnydale.  Remember, I'm more than just long, pretty hair and hormones."  Don nodded he remembered that. "Good."  He smiled.  "What are we having for dinner?  I didn't cook."

They got up and went to check, then came out to order instead.  It was easier and they were all tired.  Especially Ryan since he was still rubbing his ass to get the feeling back into that spot.  Xander had been a bit mean to him.

***

Xander looked at the plan Vesvold's guard had given him then looked at him.  "You want them *out*, right?"  He nodded.  "Then it won't work.  Take me there."  The guard opened his mouth so he smacked him on the arm.  "I'm the one who planned for Buffy, Jorge."  He nodded, taking him there but guarding him.  His boss had been very clear on this point: Xander getting hurt would mean torment upon torture until he died and then they'd do it to his body and soul until they all died.  Xander looked at the building then scoffed.  "Whoever did the plans marked the back as the front."  He pointed.  "That's the vulnerability there.  If I had a rocket launcher," he sighed.  He considered sending him for the one he had hidden but Horatio would get *really* upset if he learned Xander had *real* weapons on Miami as well as swords and guns.

Jorge coughed.  "The boss said ....."

"Horatio doesn't know and neither do my boys," he said quietly, staring at the building.  The guard whimpered.  He shrugged but grinned.  "It happens sometimes."  He flipped his braid back over his shoulder.  "Fine, we'll do this the GHS way instead of the Sunnydale method."  He concentrated on his hormones, then started to move.  Jorge had been picked because he had no mating desire.  His whole species cloned themselves by splitting off like the little creatures in the slides during science class that he could never spell right.  He kept moving through the dances, starting from the beginning while jacking up his pheromone output.  The demons could sense that.  These ones were very horny demons and ran a number of brothels.  A few looked out and more were drawn.  He switched to a more summoning portion of the dances, bringing them out to watch.  Jorge summoned other guards, more of his kind thankfully, and they appeared out of sight to take them into custody.  A few struggled but Xander gave them looks and they quit.  The higher ones were still inside though.  He stopped with a sigh of defeat.  "How many more are there?"

"Their top ten patriarchs and the three matriarchs on the council, Xander," Jorge said respectfully.

"Fuck."  He looked at the guards, then at Jorge.  "Send someone to get the blue case and bring it here?  Subtly and quietly.  If Ryan finds out I'm toast and so are all of you guys."  He nodded, sending one of the extra guards to do that while the other demons were taken off for punishment and confinement.  They had already been put under a punishment sentence, they simply hadn't been able to arrest them.  Another demon showed up with the blue case and he grinned.  "Detective Mystick," he said happily.  "I haven't seen you on the DPP when I was there the last few times."  He gave him a careful hug then unlocked the case and kicked it open.  He pulled out the pretty, modified rocket system and put it onto his shoulder, looking at the building.  He moved to a better position and concentrated, adding a bit of seeking magic to it.  Then he let the rocket launch and watched it go inside the building, right into the chamber the other demons were hiding in.  The guards rolled in there, dragging out everyone.  He looked at Jorge.  "Kids too?"

"They'll be sent to another clan," he promised.  "We do not want the children, Xander."  He nodded, handing over the used tube. "Will you need that back?"

"No.  You can have something that eats metal have it."  He checked the case, pulling out two things he had stored in there then handed it over too.  The detective took it and handed over something else from under the padding.  "When did I put that in there?"  He looked at it.  It was Adam's card.  He shrugged and put it into his pocket.  "Oh well.  It's good someone knows I have them in case we need them."  He grinned and looked at Jorge, who took him home.  He found Ryan pacing.  "It's done. They're all out."  He beamed.  "It was kinda fun too."   He gave him a kiss before going out to the garage to get into his car so he could see Adam.  It wasn't a long drive by any means and the old man was at home, for a change.  So he walked up to him, handing him his card back, kissed him on the forehead, then walked off again.  "Did Oz tell you?" he asked as he went back to his car.  He needed to do some shopping.  His boys had been bored at home so he needed new things to make them have fun.

Adam put the card back into his pocket, scowling at his protege's rear and braid.  "I should tell Speedle on you," he muttered.  He considered it then went to tell his beloved.  "Ray, love, just a head's up.  We do realize that Xander has *other* weapons at his disposal?  No, but I do fear some of the demons may know.  No, I believe he had to use one earlier.  Yes, more than his hips, his pout, his begging eyes, his hair, and his sword, Ray."  He smirked at his complaint.  "Well, I know that none of the others know.  Probably not even Ryan.  We do want Xander to *calm down* more often, correct?"  He laughed.  "Yes, you should probably subtly bring that up with someone who should also know.  No, I don't believe his boys know either, Ray.  Thank you, love.  Of course I'll cook that pork dish for dinner."  He hung up and went to start on that.  Anything to spoil his boy so he'd have some...fun later with him.

***

Ray hung up and looked at Frank across the crime scene they were on with Stella and Mac.  "What do you think Xander has for hidden weapons?"

Frank gave him an odd look.  "I hope I just heard you wrong."

Mac looked over and smirked.  "Yes, some of us do know.  We scouted them already, Ray."

"My boy just warned me someone had to get into them.  Probably Xander himself.  He had that demon thing to handle."

Mac snickered.  "Don't worry about it.  I'm keeping an eye on that problem."  Stella gave him a strange look.  "Xander was her weapons and planning support, Stella.  He had them back in New York for the most part.  Some were presents and tips too.  I found them after I heard what Xander had done in his hometown.   He may not know I know, but I have been keeping track of that arsenal for him since I figured it out."  She just nodded and got back to work.   "I know his boys don't know and I doubt Horatio does," he told Ray.

"You tell 'em.  I don't wanna be in the middle of that yellin' match.  My boy and I'll hide tonight and let you handle it alllll by yourself, Mac."

"Sure," Mac agreed.  Once they got done he headed back to Horatio's lab, finding him in his office going over some papers that were making him have gray hair and circles under his eyes.  "A point was brought up at the last scene."  Horatio gave him a grateful look.  "Nothing *too* bad or anything, just a head's up."  Horatio leaned back to look at him.  "We do know that Xander knows more weapons than a sword?"

"I do know he knows how to use a gun."

"And a rocket launcher, and explosives," Mac agreed.

Horatio moaned.  "I figured he knew something about explosives."  Mac smirked and nodded.  "He has some, doesn't he?"

"Explosives?  A few bars of C-4 or semtex somewhere."

"Is that same somewhere a warehouse that might also house weapons?" Horatio asked dryly.  Mac clearly wanted to be subtle and make him guess today.  He presumably thought his brain needed the exercise thanks to all the paperwork he'd had to do recently.

"I've been keeping track of it since I got the tapes from Don, Horatio.  Some were presents, some were tips, some came from Sunnydale after him.  He's added to it now and then but I do know he has them."

"How many?" he asked quietly.   He knew about the storage closets, he hoped it was only one of them's worth.

"If Miami's ever invaded, we've got it covered."  Horatio groaned, rubbing his eyes.  Not the answer he wanted then.  "He keeps track of them.  I'm sure he's got a good security system on them.  Ray got a call from his boy saying that he had to use one of them earlier for that demonic thing."

Horatio stood up, putting back on his gun.  "Show me, Mac."

"He'll throw a fit if you take them."

"I still need to know."  Mac nodded, bringing him to the warehouse.  They walked in and looked around.  "Was it this empty before?"

"He's got most of it hidden magically."  He handed over a pair of special sunglasses.  "I had one of the witches at the shop he uses put seeing spells on them."  Horatio slid into them, looking around the warehouse, whimpering under his breath.  He looked at Mac, who took them back to look over.  "There's a new pile since last month."  He walked over to look at them, nodding a bit.  "Mala Noche or someone else you think?"

"I think someone else found them and decided to take it over, Mac.  Is anything missing?"

He looked around again.  "One blue case that held a grenade launcher from Syria."  He handed the glasses back and pointed.  "It was there.  Looks like one other was missing but someone restacked them."  He called Xander.  "Xander, did you use something from the warehouse recently beyond the grenade launcher?  Because there's no dust in it's spot, Xander."  He smirked.  "Yes, I have known.  Since you brought them to New York.  Also, have you been adding to them?  We're here."  He hung up.  "He was out getting new things to amuse Don and Danny with.  It'll take him about twenty minutes."

Horatio looked at him.  "We can spank him for this, right?"

"No," he said.  "It's his old nature, Horatio.   He'll pout and whine.  I can't handle him pouting at me about his babies."

Horatio hung his head, shaking it slightly.  "We have got to find Xander a better hobby."

"He was looking at leather work."

Horatio looked at him.  "Speed got given a yellow leather, padded thong with a pale cream silk interior."  Mac snickered.  "He said it's comfortable and it does match his bike."

Mac walked off laughing, going to stop whoever was pulling in.  "It's not him."  Horatio pulled his gun and they got ready for whoever this was.  The person walked in and Mac coughed. "Miami-Dade PD.  Freeze."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "We know the original owners of the stash, young man."  He tried to move but Horatio shot at his feet.  He froze.  "Good idea."  He got him cuffed and down by the time Xander got there.

Xander walked in and saw the person then ended the spell, making the guy on the ground whimper.  "You got me presents?  Thank you," he said with a happy grin.  "I like these.  Too bad you can't have them back."

"You can't have them at all," Horatio noted calmly.  "Come here, Xander."  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "I don't care.  Come here, Xander."  Xander walked that way, looking dejected.  He pulled him behind a large pile of containers to spank him then looked at the young man.  "This is very dangerous, not only for you because it is illegal to own, but also for the city.  I don't know how he found it but I don't care."

"Yes, Horatio," he said weakly.

"Thank you.  Now, we're going to confiscate it, aren't we?"  Xander pouted.  "Xander," he ordered.  Xander slumped, nodding, scuffing a foot on the ground.  "Thank you.  You and I are going to talk about any other collections you might have as well.   Especially about things that could be dangerous to my city."

"I was hiding them."

"I do not care, Xander.  Other people can do magic and the man in handcuffs knew it was here."

Xander nodded.  "He's one of Vesvold's guards."  Horatio held up his wallet so he could see the design on the front.  "I didn't know he hired thugs."

"He does.  Ones that your boyfriend is very angry with."  Xander nodded.  "Now, unhide anything we haven't found.  You may not keep heavy weapons in Miami, Xander."

"Yes, Horatio."

"Or at the farm or anywhere else in the US."

"Yes, Horatio," he sighed.

"I know you like weapons but these sort are dangerous if they get into the wrong hands.  You'd have to blame yourself if they hurt someone with them."  Xander nodded.  "Do we have an inventory?"

Xander did something and a list came to him.  He looked it over.  "We're missing one case of AK's and the launcher I used earlier."  He handed it over.

Horatio looked at the list then at him.   "You will be telling Danny and Don later, Xander."

"Adam knew!"

"So did Mac.  I still don't want it in Miami, Xander.  The Federal sorts can arrest you for having them.  We'd hate to miss you while you were in prison."

"Yes, Horatio," he sighed.  He gave him a look.  "Can't you tell Don while I hide?"

"No, Xander.  You can tell Don to come down here and help us load them up for you."  Xander nodded, texting him to come help Horatio and Mac.  "Thank you.  Are there any other collections I should be aware of?"

"Toys?"

"Not unless they can hurt others," he said dryly.

Xander shrugged but nodded.  "A few can.  Someone gave me an exploding one once."

Mac walked around the barrier to look at him.  "Who gave you an exploding dildo?"

"I don't know."  He shrugged.  "We can go look for it later if you want."

"Sure, we can do that," Mac agreed with a grin.  "I've known about them since right after you made them the tapes."

Xander gave him a hug.  "I'm keeping track of them."

"I know you are," Mac promised, patting him on the back.  "You still can't have them since someone else found them, Xander."

"At all in Miami," Horatio ordered.  "Even if they're hidden better in the future."  Ares appeared, giving him an odd look.  "I don't care, Lord Ares.  They're dangerous in my city."

"I agree.  Xander, that exploding one is on top of the case of jade ones.  Cupid moved it there when he found it.  You might want to show them the gun locker as well, my priest."  He patted him on the back and left again.

"Yes, you will be," Horatio assured him.  He walked around when he heard people coming in.  "This was your boyfriend's," he told Danny and Don, then looked at Calleigh and Speed.  "He understands that it's dangerous and he does not need such weapons in Miami.  We'll be going over his gun locker later."

Don looked around then at him.  "My boyfriend would be where?"

"Hugging Mac after I spanked him," he said quietly.

Speed patted him on the back. "You make a good dad, H."  He walked around to get the list, letting Calleigh have it, watching her nearly swoon.  "Who's the putz in the cuffs?"

"He decided to take control of Xander's collection."

Xander peeked around the edge of a crate.  "He can't have them."

Don motioned him over, getting a head shake.  "Now, Xander."  Xander shuffled that way, letting Don sit him down and spank him some more.  "We do not need weapons like this."  He made his boy look at him.  "I don't care.  This is dangerous as *hell* and I do not like this collection."

Xander pouted.  "I've had some of them since tenth grade," he said miserably.

Don whimpered.  "I don't care!  Guns maybe.  Rockets, grenades, and explosives, no!"

"Yes, Don," he sniffled.

Danny gave him a hug.  "I agree, Xander.  It's too dangerous, especially with some of the contacts you have that might find out you have real weapons."  Xander nodded, pouting at him.  "We'll talk about collecting other things instead."

Ryan and Eric walked in and Ryan dropped his case, kneeling there to say a prayer to his God in hopes that they could destroy them all without having them stolen.

"Yes, you can," Ares called.  "Do it tonight or tomorrow, kids."

"Thank you, Lord Ares," Mac called, shaking his head.  He looked at Ryan.  "We could've protected them, Wolfe."

"Fat chance!  Someone would've stolen them to give them to Xander!"  He looked at the guy in cuffs then at Xander, who wasn't quite standing right.  "He the one who stole them to give to Xander?"

Horatio pulled him up, shaking his head.  "This was Xander's collection and he tried to take control of it."

Ryan burst out laughing.  "Good one, H!"  He walked off.

Eric looked at Horatio.  "Wolfe, he's not kidding."

Ryan glared at Xander.  "You had stuff like this?"

"Some of it since Sunnydale," Danny told him.

Ryan walked off swearing in another language.  Frank was snickering about it from the doorway.  "How many more, Xander?"

"Horatio wants to have the exploding toy someone sent me and look in the gun locker."

Don made his boy look at him.  "Yes, we'll be looking at the rest of your collections, each and every single one of them, Xander."  He nodded, still pouting.  "I don't care.  If it's dangerous we have ta know."

Xander nodded.  "Even though I've had some for a while now?"

"Especially those things. You did dangerous shit in Sunnydale, we don't need you to do it here," Danny pointed out.  Xander pouted but nodded, letting him have the list.  "The others?"

"Not here."

"Where are they?" Horatio asked him.  Xander pouted all the way out to the corvette to take him where the other things were.  They found a dent in the guns in the gun locker, which Xander summoned back with the present holders, letting Horatio arrest a lot of people and Vesvold's guards do a few more for Horatio.  Then Horatio made him show him where everything else was that he was hiding, even the other stashes of money and electronics.  He wasn't a happy camper by any means and Horatio was amused but not really surprised.  Xander's past lead back to weapons to kill things.  Of course he had kept some.  A whole warehouse of guns was too many but he had kept some.

***

Xander walked into Horatio's office that night.  "Can I suggest something?"

"It depends on the suggestion," he said, giving him a look.

"Can Calleigh have some of the guns and stuff you took from me?"

He put down his pen, staring at him.  "She would like that.  It could help the department as well."

"You didn't get them as part of a criminal activity so technically you don't have to destroy them," Xander pointed out gently.  "Plus she'd quit pouting at me."

He smirked.  "She is?"

"A lot.  Came over to pout at me for not letting her play with my weapons."

Horatio nodded.  "If I can, Xander."  He pouted.  "They've already been logged in."

"But they're not from a crime."

"I know that.  That may work.  I'll see what I can do."  Xander nodded, putting down a hershey bar then leaving him alone to go sulk with his safe collections.  Horatio shook his head, calling his boss.  "Sir, it's Horatio.  Yes, I did just talk to Mr. Harris.  Ah, you saw him pull away.  No, earlier today we were informed that he had a few weapons collections due to his past and that some were rather dangerous.  I helped him weed it out to a safer level.  No, he's tired of Calleigh pouting at him," he admitted.  His boss snickered.  "Exactly.  He does it to all of us.  He wanted to know if she could have them as part of her exemplar since they weren't confiscated as part of a criminal activity.  He did voluntarily hand it over, sir.  I made sure of it."  He smirked at his renewed laughter.  "That's what he was thinking.  Could she?"  He nodded. "Thank you, sir.  I'll let Mac have whatever she doesn't need.  Plus possibly a few other labs if we have extras left over."  He hung up and called Calleigh.  "The Chief has said that you can use anything we confiscated from Xander today as part of your exemplar as long as you share with Mac's lab."  Her squeal nearly deafened him.  He smiled.  "But you have to come back tonight to sort it out."  She hung up on him, probably running for her jeep right then.  He smiled.  He loved making her happy.  Speed strolled in.  "Xander convinced me to let Calleigh have his guns for her exemplar."

"Think she'll offer to bear us babies again?" he asked dryly, taking the candy bar to nibble on.

"Maybe him," he said with a small smile.  "I've still got to finish the last six packets."

"You still have to eat dinner too," he said patiently.

"I have to have them done by midnight, Speed."

Speed looked at the ones that were left, taking two to look over and work on.  "I'll do these."

"You're not allowed.  The oversight board won't let you."

Speed looked at him. "Will they know?"

"It's handwritten.  Yes."

"Fine."  He put them down and finished the candy bar.  "What do you want for dinner?  We can eat in here if we must.  Though it will not be happening again this month without a damn good reason.  It throws off your eating schedule and you get grumpy."

"Something I can't spill on them?  Otherwise I have to do two weeks of paperwork by midnight."

"Name a food group."

Horatio looked at him.  "Whatever you feel like, Speed.  Order from somewhere and get me something I'll like."  He sighed, going to do that.  Horatio got back to his forms until he heard Calleigh pulling in a large crate of guns.  He smiled, counting the seconds until she came up to pounce him.  Then she bounced out to go back to work sorting them out for her cabinets and Mac's cabinets.  He snickered quietly.  She did love her guns.

***

Xander curled up on his corner of the couch, ignoring his boys and their looks at him.  He could do that.  He had done it with his friends, he could do it with his boyfriends.  Not much different really.  He got up to get a drink but Danny pulled him into his lap.  "What?" he asked sullenly.

Danny made him look at him.  "If you had told us, we wouldn't be as upset.  We would've helped you weed it down to things you had to have because you thought you'd need them or they brought back good memories."  Xander opened his mouth but he put his hand over it.  "We would've done that back in New York even."  Xander slumped.  "You didn't trust us."

"You'd take them!"

"Well now we had to," Don agreed.  "Horatio was right, that's dangerous.  We could've helped you get a few stored.  Things that meant a lot to you."  Xander shook his head.  "I know most of them were nice but the ones that you had from Sunnydale or the ones that got you good memories.  That stuff."

Xander looked at him.  "No you wouldn't have."

"Xander," Danny warned.

"One of them was a rocket with a biological warhead!"

"That we probably would've worried about," Danny admitted.  "He did know that, right?  There's probably special destruction ways for those things."

"It was disarmed and on the inventory," Xander admitted.

"Good!" Don agreed.  "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because you guys didn't want to deal with my past!" he said, getting up to look at them.  "You guys hated it every time I had to pull something out of my ass or had to deal with a demon.  Well, gee, that's what I used to do and why I had the weapons."  He walked off, going to sit outside with his soda.  This had been a happy day earlier.  Maybe a slight wish...  No, Horatio had found that guy in his stuff and it'd be bad if he had used it.  He'd been right about him feeling guilty if someone had gotten hurt with his toys.  Plus prison would probably suck.  A lot.  He sipped his soda and watched the stars come out.

Don flopped down next to him.  "We still would've helped you keep some of them," he said quietly, leaning back on his forearms so he could watch the stars too.  "If you had let us know we would've told Horatio up front and he wouldn't have gotten so upset."

"He nearly freaked when I pulled out a rifle a while back," Xander said quietly.  "Most GHS don't use weapons unless we have to."

"You're not the usual GHS and neither is he, Xander."

Xander looked at him then shrugged.  "He wants me to be."

"We know you're not."  He stroked over his arm, giving him a small smile.  "What didn't you show him?  If you tell us, we won't tell him anything other than it was a present if we have ta get rid of something."

"You shouldn't have to.  I showed him."

"Uh-huh."  Don gave him a look.  "Where are they?  I know you won some at poker."

"That was in the gun locker."  He took another drink.

"Vegas, out of the country?"

"Nope."

"On the demon planes somewhere?"

"Nope."

Don sighed.  "If you tell us we won't be mad, Xander."

"I don't have anymore, Don!" he said, standing up to look at him.  "He took them all.  That means I'm more vulnerable now."

"We protected you before," he pointed out.

"Half the demons knew I had them and they stayed away because they knew I could destroy them!"  He stomped off, going for a walk.

"Oh, no," Danny called.  "You're not leaving the house in a snit.  We don't wanna get you back from Mongolia or Tibet or somewhere."  He jogged after Xander, turning him around and walking him back to where Don was pouting.  He put him down into Don's lap, looking at him.  "They knew?  All the demons knew?"

"It's part of his rep from Sunnydale," Don said gently.  "He was her gear guy and planner."

Danny nodded.  "Then we'll see if it'll pick up.  Remember, a lot of them stopped because of Vesvold."

Xander looked at him. "I've killed six demons in the last week, Danny."  Danny moaned at that.  "Mostly for wanting to play with my hair or own me."

"Mostly?" Don asked.

"One knew who I used to be and tried me for that reason."

"He gone?" Don asked.  Xander nodded, relaxing against his chest.  "Do we have anything hidden?"  Xander shook his head.  "You were totally honest with Horatio?"

"I had to be.  Mac already knew."

"Crap," Don said, pulling out Danny's phone since his was charging in the house.  He called Mac.  "A point just got raised.  A lot of demons know who Xander used ta be and that he had weapons.  Xander thinks that many of them stayed away from him because they knew he had weapons."  Mac whimpered.  "So now what?"  He nodded.  "Sure, we'll pray to Ares and you do it too."  He hung up and looked up.  "Think that'll happen?" he called quietly.  "If so, we'll let him go buy a few more."

Strife appeared, looking at Xander, then nodded.  "He's right."

"I knew that," Xander said dryly, giving him a look.  "I'm also on the watch lists thanks to today.  Plus Horatio would beat me to death next time."

Don gave him a cuddle.  "We'll figure it out, Xander."

"No we won't!"

"Xander!" Danny snapped.  "We're going to help.  Remember us, your lovers?  We're in this too."

Strife sighed as he looked at him.  "You're gonna be lucky if you don't all get stolen together."  He disappeared again, going to talk to Ares.  "The kid had a point."

"They've warned others it'll happen.  Xander will do something unusual and it'll be solved," Discord said with a flick of her hand.

"Horatio confiscated all his higher weapons earlier when he heard he had them," Ares told her.  She whimpered, giving him a horrified look.  He smirked and nodded.  "If we're lucky, they'll all be taken together so we can get to the anchor and help him.  If not, well...  You can go on some of the rescues too."

"I can talk to Horatio once he's done with the paperwork," Cupid offered.  "I know that he has to get it done or they'll shut the lab."

Ares looked over.  "Too late."

Cupid looked down at the house in Miami then moaned.  "The others?"  He checked, holding off the guys who wanted to take Horatio from his office until he could finish the last form.  It'd keep them from doing a full out assault on the station and possibly killing other officers as well.  They watched as he got taken as soon as he walked outside, Speed being knocked out at the same time since he was right behind him.  He hoped really hard, putting Ryan and Eric into the right area as well.  Ryan did get taken, Eric didn't.  "Could be worse," Cupid decided.  They tracked where they were going.  "They're staying on Earth.  Going to....  Looks like...  LA?" he suggested.

Ares looked then nodded.  "Yeah, the underground in LA.  Which means they're about to be sold."  He looked at Strife, then at Discord.  "Go stop that sale."  They headed off. "Cupid, get him weapons."

"He's got the hairpins.  He's got some magic."

"Get him better weapons, get Wolfe some too," he ordered.  Cupid nodded.  He could get into those places because technically they were all about lust, even if he did hate the flesh peddling going on.  Ares went to find someone to warn them.  He found Stella and Mac.  "Congratulations.  Taking his weapons meant that the demons thought he was weak enough to be stolen now.  By the way, you're going to be filling in for a lot of people tomorrow."  He disappeared.

Stella blinked at Mac, who started to call around.  He got Eric on his second round of trying.  "Eric, what happened," he demanded.  He listened then moaned.  "No, demons.  They decided Xander was weak enough to take because we have all his higher weapons."  He hung up then pushed Stella off him so he could stand up.  "We have to find them."

"I agree.  Do we have any demonic contacts outside Xander?"

"The one in jail," he admitted.  "Or Vesvold if we can find him."  They went to get redressed and head into the lab.  Eric was sitting in there with an ice pack.  "You good?" he asked.

"No.  Head still hurts."  He looked at him.  "We were coming out to go home.  Horatio got the paperwork done."

Cupid appeared. "I made them hold off until he did so they wouldn't assault the lab, dude."

Eric smirked.  "Thank you.  Where are they so we can go on a rescue and destroy mission?"

"LA.  Their underground holds a yearly auction."  Mac's jaw went solid as he ground his teeth.  "They're fine so far.  It'll be in a few days.  We're trying."

"How do we get there?" Stella asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know how you guys get there.  Head to LA, get that Angel guy to help?"  He disappeared.

"We can do that," Eric agreed, standing up and heading off.  The others followed.  "We know they have at least Speed, H, and Wolfe.  They were with us when I got knocked out."  Mac nodded at that.  "If they have Xander we should check his house first."

"I tried calling.  The dragon knocked the phone off the hook and grunted, sounding very displeased," Mac admitted.  He got into the hummer to drive, letting Eric get the front seat so he wouldn't be as motion sick.  Stella got into the back and they headed off to check Xander's place.  It was there.  The doors were open.  Vesvold was watering some roses he had planted.  "Vesvold?"  He looked over.  "Are they all right?"

"I'm forbidden from getting to them," he said.  "I can't go there until the auction itself.  No demons can and they do ward it against humans as well."

"Can you give us a map?" Stella asked.  He handed one over.  "Thank you."

"Do try," he said quietly.  "I can buy them back but it would set a bad precedent if I let them go afterward."  He disappeared.

They headed back to the hummer, Eric calling the boss on the way to the airport.  Someone was not going to be happy.

***

Eric found the Hyperion Hotel, it was marked on the map as well.   He walked in and looked at the people in there.  "Is Angel here?"

"Brooding in his office," the young woman quipped.  "Why?"

"We need to talk to him.  There's a lot of trouble coming his way."  Angel stepped out of the office, giving him an odd look. "Eric Delko, out of Miami."

"Cordy told me about you.  What happened?"

"Horatio confiscated Xander's weapons," he said dryly.  Angel moaned.  "They're somewhere about to be auctioned off.  We need help getting in there."

Angel shook his head.  "I can't get in either.  Until they remove the blocks, it's a sealed realm, Eric."

"Can you get us to it?"

"I can do that much but you still can't get in and if you try it could destroy everyone in there."

"Then we'll figure it out when we get there."  Angel nodded, grabbing his coat and following him out to the car.  "We know they didn't take Horatio's nephew.  We know they took Xander, Don, Danny, Horatio, Wolfe, and Speed."

"I know those names," he admitted.  "Isn't one a high priest to Ares?"

"They're doing what they can," Mac said, putting the guns he had picked up on the way back together again.  The airline had made him disassemble them for the flight.  He looked at him.  "How bad is it going to be?"

"Remember his stories about the battle realm?  Worse than the crowds there.  Especially with so many GHS going up.  Xander will bring a lot of them.  A slayer's helper, one cursed like he is?  He'll bring everything."

Eric nodded.  "Then we'll handle it in a way Xander would appreciate."  Angel pointed so he turned the corner, following his silent directions to the place where the doorway should be.  "How do we know it'll open?"

"The gate will come down and they'll open the door," Angel said.  "Just like any shop in the morning."  He looked at them.  "You can't break in there.  It will rip the realm and everyone could die."

"Xander, Wolfe, Danny, and Don are immortal.  Speed and H are gifted by Aphrodite," Stella said quietly.

"They're not the only people there," Angel assured her.  "This is done every year and it's a huge auction.  Last year they had over three hundred slaves going."  They all shuddered.  "Most of those from other realms that were being traded off."

Mac nodded.  "Thank you for your help.  Can you come back to help us when it's time?"

"There's a kill on sight order," Angel admitted.  "Because I'm a champion and I hunt other demons."

Mac nodded.  "I can understand that.  Thank you."  Angel nodded, getting out to walk back and hunt on the way.  They got out to examine the doorway, looking for a way around the gate.

Strife appeared, cleaning his nails off.  "You rang?"

"Can you get us in there with the weapons?" Stella asked.

Strife smirked.  "Only if someone's willing to go up on the block.  It's tonight."

Mac nodded.  "I will.  It'll put me in a better position."

Strife shrugged.  "Not really."  He smirked.  "The layout's bad."  He let them have a map, watching as they looked it over.  "Free this area," he hinted.  "Then let them go.  That's where hunters are kept."  They nodded and Strife got them in there with Eric having the collar on.  Then he went to watch from Olympus since they couldn't really get in there either.

***

Xander woke up in a room, groaning and holding his head.  He checked his hair.  "Didn't cut it.  I'm shocked."  He felt around himself.  He still had hairpins.  He had the tiny hair dagger he wore.  He had his balls, so that was nice.  He stood up, looking around.  He noticed a few other bodies sleeping around him and that they all had ankle chains.  Xander looked his over.  No lock.  He concentrated and the shackle came free, showing a lock.  He looked around then went to one he kind of recognized, shaking him.  "Hey."  The man blinked at him.  "We're in deep shit."  He handed him a hairpin, helping him find the lock.  He nodded, undoing his and moving to help the others wake up while Xander took the other end of the room.  He woke a few and had to jump out of the way.  He woke one and had to hit him back for the attempted blow to his face.  "Don't dent me."

"Where are we?" one asked.

Xander looked around, then up at the ceiling.  "Underground.  So this isn't a new battle arena."  He looked at him and shrugged.  "Not a clue yet.  Let's find out, shall we?"

"Who're you?" another asked, eyeing him.  "Besides being someone's boyfriend?"

"Xander Harris, helper to the Slayer Buffy when she was in Sunnydale."  That got a few groans.  "Before she went off the deep end and decided she had the right to own me."  He got the last guy up.  "Someone find a doorway, let's see if we can get the locks open?  I know a bit of lock magic."  They nodded, searching for a doorway.  One of the guys found a lock in a solid rock wall so he went to look at it.  "Huh."  A flash went off behind him so he looked.  "Hey, Fred."

"Xander?"

"Yup.  Why're you here?"

"I don't know.  I was at the desk...."  She shrugged.  "Is this the auction thingy they were talking about rescuing you from?"

Xander walked over to stare down at her.  "What auction thingy, Fred?"

"The yearly slave auction thingy," she said, blinking at him.  "You know, I never thought you were dangerous before."

He smirked.  "You'd be so surprised and so would Angel.  What demon slave auction thingy?"

She sighed, shrugging a bit.  "I know they have one yearly.  We're partially in a sealed realm.  It'll be soon probably but we don't know how soon.  It's not just new ones, some are traded and some are new.  I know that a few of your friends came up looking for you.  Um, Eric showed up."

"Good, that's a good thing.  Who else was taken with me?"  She shrugged.  "I was at home with Danny and Don.  Anyone got a cellphone?  I noticed they didn't check me very well."

They all patted themselves down and one did come u with a phone.  Xander texted Danny's phone then Horatio's phone, though he left him a rude message about wanting his weapons back now, thank you.   He got back one from both of them.  An apology from one and a small complaint from Horatio.  "Okay.  We have at least some backup from some police officers," he announced.  "They're in other rooms."  He looked at her.  Then he smirked and laid a hand on her head, making her scream.  "Fred's eyes aren't blue, dear."  She melted and he looked at the others.  "Sorry, but nice information."  He handed the phone back to the owner.  "We're in deep shit.  I've heard about this auction in the past."

"How?" the guy he kinda knew asked.

"I'm a high level GHS member.  This isn't the first time I've been stolen."  He went to look at the lock again, taking back his hairpins to get to work on it.  He smiled when it opened but the door was still shut.  "Aw, crap."  He looked at it then frowned.  "I'm going to be praying for mercy later," he muttered, laying his hands on the doorway.  He prayed hard to Hecate, getting what he needed back from her and Cupid of all Gods.  He blew the doorway, wincing and shaking his hand.  "Not happy."  He walked out, taking on one demon and snapping his neck.  It wouldn't kill him but it made him feel much better.  So did his weapons and his keys.  He tossed the keys to someone and took the sword with him.  The gun was nice but half of them couldn't be killed with them.  They were clearly set up to kill the humans if something should happen.  He found another guard and sliced into him, making him scream in pain as he fell.  "So much for quiet."  He moved on, falling into it.  He was not a happy camper.  Ares could piss and moan all he wanted.  He was going to lose it and have fun with it being gone.  They would *all* pay for this one.

***

Horatio smiled at his phone.  "Xander said he wants his weapons back."

"Yeah, us too," Don agreed, taking the phone to look at.  "Now what?"

"They're getting free," Horatio said calmly.  He moved to wake up Speed again.  He had a concussion and kept drifting off.  Someone opened their door and glanced inside.  "Can we help?" he asked the human looking thing.

"No.  Just checking on you meat products."  He started to close the door but Don and Horatio blocked him, Don knocking him out.  The others got free and headed out.  Horatio got Speed and followed last.  It was safer for the moment.  He was not going to leave Speed behind.  He saw Ryan and smiled because he was beating up on something.  Something big and smelly.  He jumped when he heard lightening hit, looking around.

Ryan glanced around too.  "That was a quickening."  He jogged off to see who it was, finding Xander having taken some guy's head.  No one he knew thankfully.  He made Xander look at him, seeing the blank expression.  "Oh, shit.  Xander, find the way out and open it.  It has to be opened, not forced open or we all die," he ordered calmly.  "Ares said so."  He nodded and went to find the doorway.  Ryan took Speed from Horatio and they followed.  It might be a longer hike but it'd be safer to be behind Xander.  The others fighting weren't winning but he could hear gunshots from ahead of them.  They found Mac, Stella, and Eric shooting at the demons.  "Guys, he's lost it," he said when Xander went after Stella.

Mac punched Xander on the jaw.  "We're helping your side, Xander.  Go find the others and get us out of here."  Xander growled at him, moving to fight him too.  Ryan handed Speed back and got Xander pointed in another direction, at a demon coming their way.   Xander's growl changed pitch and he went after it instead.  It wasn't going to live very long.  Not many things were.  Mac smirked at him.  "Thanks, Wolfe."

"Not an issue.  Take Speed."  He headed off to back Xander up, finding Don doing that.  He smiled and took the extra sword he had, gutting something coming up on his side.  Xander finally found the exit and they had to look at it.  It was locked.  Not magically locked.  Padlocked with a DNA coded lock.  None of the blood that had ended up on them matched.  None of the demons they gathered from the remains of matched.  Xander saw another demon and headed off to kill it too while Horatio and Mac got the lock to look at.  Danny had jumped into the fight after helping release more of the prisoners.  Some weren't wanting to come out.  Some were nearly dead.  Some... well they were trying to cause them problems and stop them from getting out.

"The Overlord won't like this!" one shouted, starting to cry.  "He'll punish us all!"

"If you can get him down here, I'll make sure he can't," Ryan snapped back.  He shrank back and hid behind another slave.  They found Danny trying to pull Xander off something.  "What's that?"

"Powerful.  No other clue," Danny called.

Ryan looked at it then sneered and started to swing but his tattoo to Ares heated up and he yelped, stopping to grab it.  "Okay, I won't do that.  Got any other clues?"  He looked at Xander.  "Snap out of it!" he yelled.  Xander went limp, then burst out crying, letting Danny soothe him.  "He's stressed."

"I noticed that.  You did good, Xander," Danny promised, leading him back to the doorway.  They were all free now.  The slaves were complaining.  The ones who hadn't been broken yet were trying to help figure a way out.

Xander looked around.  "Every realm has a keystone but that would unravel it instead of opening it.  Unless...."  He looked at Ryan.  "I need to draw from you."

"Sure," he agreed, knowing what he was planning by their long training together.  Xander linked hands with him, taking the extra quickening he had at the moment to open a portal.  They got the slaves moving and ended up somewhere else.  It was a huge bazaar.  Shops of every description and style.  They got everyone out of the old place, leaving it open in case someone was hiding.  Then Xander drew from Danny to open another one, this time to the DPP station.  They ran through it and made the demonic detectives squad send them all to somewhere safer.   In their group's case, a realm they had visited before.  Earth was occluded at the moment.  They waited and rested there, then the officers came and took them to LA the next morning.

Angel stared at them.  "How in the hell?"

"I lost my temper," Xander said dryly.  "By the way, something was pretending to be Fred?"  He stomped off.  "Guys, bathrooms are *this* way!" he shouted.  The slaves ran to get them first.  Xander, Ryan, Danny, and the other fighters took the heavier ones downstairs for demon goo.  Xander came out and found Fred waiting on him.  "Hi."

"Hi."  She stared at him.  "How did you know?"

He grinned. "Your eyes are a different color than hers were and she didn't have your laugh, Fred."  She beamed so he gave her a hug.  "Clothes?"

"Sure."  She handed over towels then went to break into the spare clothes stash.

Once he was clean and dry, Xander went back up to the lobby.  "Sorry to impose, Deadboy.  A lot of slaves though.  Wanna handle them while we get back to Miami?"

"Are you going to be safe in Miami?" he asked dryly.  "Because we all know you're going to be taken again."

"I'm buying more weapons on the way," he said dryly.  "I have plenty of contacts who'd like me to buy their weapons. Why?"

Angel vamped out.  "Because I think you could serve a better purpose here."

Xander snorted.  "Yeah, right.  Don't make me mess up your hair, Angel."

"I don't think so, Harris."  He lunged and Xander put him onto his back, staring down at him very coldly.  "How did you manage that?"

"Training with one of Ares' high priests."

One of the hunters came jogging down the stairs.  "We found a portal spying on us.  Are we sure we're home?"

"I'm not at the moment," Xander admitted, staring at Angel.  Then he shrugged.  "We'll see though, won't we?"  He looked around then went to open something, making Angel scream and the realm showing them off to the potential buyers end.  Xander found himself alone in a small room.  He checked, no hairpins or anything.  "Like that's going to stop me," he sneered.  He found the doorway and blew it open, stomping out.  The auctioneer cheered him on, until Xander grabbed him that was.  A few of the guards tried to stop him, but oh well.  He was tired.  He was sore.  He was also pissed again.  He had more stamina than the average human from all the sex and fighting he had over the years.  One unwisely carried a sword up to the stage to try to stab him but he grabbed the blade.  His hand would heal, like always.  The demon...didn't.  The other demons didn't.  One went down but was only injured.  He was trying to heal.  Xander threw him off the stage and went for the person who was trying to hold Ryan back.  "Let him go," he ordered.  The demon sneered so he let loose on him too.  Ryan was freed after a few stabs.  They moved to protect the others together while the crowd tried to run.  It wasn't going to work but they tried really hard.  Because Xander had went from pissed to madder than any Goddess on PMS without chocolate ever had been.  He was so pissed it went beyond Buffy ruining clothes.  It went beyond the time his hair had been cut on him.  It went so far beyond anger that the room literally exploded around them.

Ryan panted, staring at his back.  "Xander!" he called.  "Calm down so you don't kill the people who were kidnaped!"

"Fuck them all," he said coldly, raising his hands.   Ryan grabbed one then knocked him out.

Ryan looked at the mess then found where Horatio was laying with Danny next to him.  He looked up.  "Could use a bit of help!" he shouted.  "Before he wakes up and kills us all!"  Ares appeared with Apollo, who got to work on the others.  Xander was chained up for now.  Ares was already rubbing his forehead from the headache  the berserker was giving him.  He took a few people to open the other cells.  The people were released and let go.  The doorway was open so they ran out and hit a federal team of agents.  Ryan stomped out.  "Morning."

"What is that place?"

"Someone unwisely stole us to sell us," he said grimly.  "One of us was a berserker with weapons skills.  Pity."  He walked around them.  "I'll be back in a second."  He grabbed something from their SUV and came back, snapping it under Xander's nose.  He whined but a gentle tap to his forehead made him wake up suddenly.  "Hey, it's Ryan," he said more gently.  "Come on, Xander.  We're free."

"Another trap," he muttered.

"No, it's not.  There's Feds outside."

Xander stared at him.  "It's a trap."

"No it's not," Horatio said as he walked over. "I can feel the necklaces tingling, Xander."

Ryan looked at him. "I felt my tattoo heat up last time," he muttered.  Horatio shrugged at that.  He pulled Xander up.  "If it is we'll work our way out of it again."  Xander shook his head, trying to get free but they hauled him outside with the others.  Ryan looked around.  "I saw Mac last time.  He's not here."

Horatio looked. "There's Stella."  He pushed his way over.  "Stella?"  She flinched, looking up at him, looking hopeful.  "Where's Mac and Eric?"

"I don't know.  We got separated.  I was in a pen."

Horatio pulled her back to their group, using his taller height to scan the crowd.  A few he almost recognized from the last dream.  He watched Ryan trying to bring Xander back.  "Knock him out," he ordered.

"I can't.  He'll come back to this state again," Ryan complained.  He looked at Horatio long enough for Xander to bite him so he could get free.  "Ow!  Bitch!"

Xander growled and backed off, magicing off the chains, staring him down.  "Still a trap."

"No it's not," Horatio said calmly, moving forward.  "It's not a trap, Xander.  I promise, we're free."

Xander snorted.  "No we're not."  He turned and headed off.  He knew about keystones.  He knew what they did.  He knew he could do something with them because the energy they held was like quickening energy.  He found it and looked it over then put his hands on it.  They heated up but he'd heal if they burned.  He concentrated.  No luck yet.  Someone shouted, coming at him with a gun.  He concentrated harder and the stone shattered under his hands.  The realm shivered then seemed to twist.  Xander pumped his own energy back into it, making it let everyone go.  He woke up in a small stone room, barely big enough to stand up in.  He looked around it and didn't find any locks or any doors.  He was extremely tired now but he was still tired of this and the mind games were not helping any.  He looked up.  "You get a cooperative me over my dead body and I'm still an immie," he shouted.  The walls seemed to shrink and he just laughed.  "Not claustrophobic either."  The walls continued to shrink until he barely had room to move.

So he didn't.

He thought.

Then he concentrated.

He looked deep into his soul.

And there he found the pit of anger deep enough to kill everyone on the planet.

Pity.

***

Mac looked up from where he and Eric were confined, smiling at the explosion that had just happened.  Even when their room shook it was still good to them.  Someone was clearly helping stop the disgusting beings.  They had no idea who but it was all good to them.  It went suddenly silent then cheering broke out.  They groaned.  The buyers were liking that performance.  Another explosion, this time it rocked the floor.  They sat down, watching the ceilings to make sure it wasn't going to collapse and kill Mac.  Eric would wake up again later on if he died; Mac was still human.  They dove for the door when it started to open, pushing the babbling thing out of their way.

There was Xander.

His hair was blowing in the breeze behind him.

He was sweating like he had the chills.

He was beyond enraged and he was the one creating the explosions.

"I didn't think he had power like that," Eric said, looking a bit awed.

"Stop him!" someone shouted.

"Fuck you!" Eric shouted back.  "You deserve it if you're with them.  If not, get the hell out of here!"  The ones who could ran.  Xander tried to stop a few but Horatio got in his way.  "H!"  He jogged over to take him down.  "He's gone, H.  He doesn't know you."

Ryan got knocked out, proving his point.

Danny walked up behind Xander, tapping him gently on the shoulder.  "Can we have our boy back now?  Ares probably has a really bad headache."

Xander growled.  "Not yours."

"Yeah, you kinda are," Danny said.  "You live with us, your ferrets live with us.  Your hairpins stab us in the middle of the night.  You love us most of the time."  He gave him a look.  "In case you didn't remember, I'm Danny.  You like me."  Danny was sent flying.

"Hey!" Don complained.  "No boyfriend abuse, Xander!"

"Not him," he growled.

"Okay," Don said, backing off.  He saw Ryan on the ground.  "Hey, Delko, can't Wolfe get him out of this state?"

"Maybe if he wasn't knocked out," he said dryly, reaching over to shake him.  "Ryan!"

Ryan lifted his head.  "It won't work.  He's gone well beyond berserking this time.  Strife?" he called.  "Please knock him out?"

Xander stomped off, going to growl at someone.  "Fucking in their lives is Strife's job. You don't look like him."  He knocked that person out and kept going.

Strife appeared, looking at the boy.  "You're right, he's not me."  He stared at his high priest, getting a whimper of recognition but that's all he was getting from the blank mind.  "Xander, come to me," he ordered, holding out a hand.  The boy growled.  "No, that's Cerbie, not you."  He moved closer.  "Come here, Xander.  We'll go somewhere safe.  Somewhere you're safe."  Xander tipped his head to the side.  "Come on and we'll go somewhere safe so you can rest and heal."  Xander let out a small whimper.  "C'mon."  Xander rushed him.  He popped them off, taking them to Olympus for a second then to the island the boy had inherited.  It was deserted.  He'd be safe here.  He put him down onto the grass, staring at him.  "You stay on the grass or inside until someone comes, all right?  No swimming."  He disappeared, going back to help with the carnage.  He popped in behind Stella, admiring the view for a second.  "We all good?"

She turned and swatted at him.  "No staring at my ass."   He smirked.  "We're all here.  We're all bruised, a few are a bit bloody.  Mac's got a headache from someone falling on him.  The slavers are running.  Most of the slaves are free."

Strife smirked and winked.  "It'll be fine, Stella."  He waved a hand at the walls and the rest of the cells came down.  "There ya go.  All free.  All but two or three who were older slaves and went with their new masters when the hell started.  Who knew Xan could pull a Rosenburg."  He faded out.  "Doorway's stayin' open this time.  It's not a ruse."  He went to check on Xander, finding him staring at the water.  "I said no!" he said sharply.  The boy sat, staring at him, looking confused.  "C'mon.  Let's go shower.  You're sweaty and you need one. I'll stay until you sleep."  He led the boy back to the house, putting him in the shower, thinking up some food for him.  Discord appeared, giving him an odd look. "Xander's so totally gone he knocked out Ry."

"Damn," she said in awe.  "He knocked out Ares too."  She grinned.  "Bad headaches up there."  She disappeared before the boy came out.  In her place was a sleeping potion.  Strife grinned, pouring it into the drink he had made but masking the taste so Xander wouldn't know.  Sleeping would help him.  The boy peeked out of his bathroom.  "I'm still here.  Finish up and come eat."

"I saw that."

Strife grinned.  "It's something ta help ya sleep, Xan.  I'd never hurt you.  You wear my marks."  Xander came out naked, taking the food but not the drink.  Strife sent it into his stomach anyway, then slowly and carefully soothed the boy into letting it take effect.  He got him snuggled into the huge bed so he could check on the others, finding them at Angel's getting cleaned up and fed.  "Hey."

Don turned, grabbing him by the arms.  "Xander?  Is he all right?"

"I knocked him out.  He's on the island.  He's still a bit lost in his head."  Don relaxed.  "Everyone good?  Ares is knocked out too."

"We're fine, Lord Strife.  Thank you all for your help," Horatio said, letting out a tired smile.  "I won't protest if he buys more weapons as long as they're hidden better from everyone else."

"Good!" he said, disappearing.  He could hear the Godly meeting starting.  He popped in.  "The slave auction's done with," he announced.  "Hecate, Xander's got backlash."

"I noticed that.  I had no idea he could pull that sort of energy."  She rubbed her head.

"Well, he's a bit pissed," Strife said dryly.  Ares wobbled in.  "Xan's down.  Everyone else is with Angel and his people."

"Xander's where?" he asked.

"His island.  Still partially out of it."

"Go watch him sleep, Strife.  Just in case.  He'll have nightmares."  Strife nodded, disappearing as ordered.  He looked at Hera.  "I really don't feel good."

"What happened?" she demanded.  "All I knew was that the weave of the world twisted for a moment."

"Someone captured a lot of the anchors in Miami to sell them," Aphrodite said with a small yawn.  "The main anchor proved a few times he was a berserker.  Then the last time he totally dove into his soul and let it rip."  She looked at Hecate.  "Will he be okay?  I'll try not to baby the pookie too much since it upsets him but he clearly needs some."

"He'll heal," Hecate reminded her.  "They all do."  She looked at Ares.  "You should rest that migraine."

"I will once this is done with.  Make sure the slave auction can't happen again, Cupid."

"Oh, I think Xander already did that, Pops.  He so totally killed most of the buyers."  He shrugged.  "He was damn good.  Even if he did try to attack your priest too."

Ares nodded, heading to bed to sleep since everything he could control was working itself out at the moment.  That was good enough for him.

***

Emails happened the next morning.

//To:  Gibbs <jgibbs@ncis.gov>

From:  Horatio Caine <hcaine@miami.gov>

CC:  C.oP. <sjohnson@miami.gov>

This email is to announce that Xander Harris is allowed to have weapons, no matter what the ATF thinks. We will personally be making sure they are well hidden.  We will also make sure that any illegal arms dealers he buys from are arrested after the sale to him so he does not get in trouble with them.

Thank you for your support.  We will be able to make it back to the office in two days if anyone has any good questions about what happened yesterday.

Horatio Caine and Mac Taylor.//

Gibbs looked at the new email then at his boys.  "Xander had weapons?"

Greg stiffened.  "Oh, shit," he muttered.

Gibbs stared at him.  "That sounds like a guilty conscience, Sanders.  What sort of weapons did he have?  Beyond the ten or twelve swords I've seen pictures of and in person."

"He likes things that explode and launch to take out things."  He shrugged.  "Why does it matter?"  Gibbs forwarded the email, making him snicker.  "Um, okay.  I'm wondering what happened yesterday?"

McGee looked at the news feeds.  Then he put something up on the screen.  "Does that look like a reason for you to be having a Xander discussion?"

Gibbs got up to stare at the newly destroyed old-style shopping center where they had found multiple dead bodies.  He blinked.  "Those bodies don't look normal."

"No, boss, someone photoshopped them to be human," McGee said, getting up.  "See, a blue arm, a green head.  A pink person," he said, pointing at that one.  "Since Xander's wanted as a person of interest in that explosion I think we have an idea why."

Greg got into the same article, then read it over.  "No, they updated, McGee.  He's no longer wanted to talk to."  He looked at him.  "They decided that the slave auction had been busted up by some dissatisfied buyers instead and think that he was now one of the slaves after talking to some officers that were also there after being kidnaped from their offices."

Gibbs got back into the email.

//To:  Horatio Caine <hcaine@miami.gov>

From:  Gibbs <jgibbs@ncis.gov>

Xander is allowed to have smaller weapons but nothing that would endanger lives if it was stolen.  Nothing that would cross my desk as current military issue.  Nothing that would destroy more than a single building to get himself free, Caine.

Also, what really happened?  The story made the news.  Sanders and McGee look worried.

Gibbs.//

He looked at his two younger agents.  "I wrote back to Caine.  I'm sure we'll get an update from him."

"I'm wondering where Xander is since the police couldn't find him with the others," McGee said.

Greg grinned.  "He's fine but they would've protected him.  Remember, Xander is very skilled at saving himself.  He's also got a very bad temper when people take him.  As shown by the explosion radius."  He flipped to a better picture.  "There, raw feed."  Gibbs looked then shuddered.  "I'd say some people were damn lucky they took Xander and his boys this time.  I'm sure he got the others free too," he said at Gibbs' odd look.

Tony strolled in with coffee. "Morning, my people."  He saw the screen, whistling.  "Damn.  Is that our new case?"

"No, that's where Xander was at least last night," Greg said dryly, taking his coffee from the tray.  "Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome, Greggy."  He grinned.  "He good?"

"I tried to email him, his is bouncing."  He sipped his coffee while Tony read the article and update over his shoulder.

Gibbs' email beeped.

//To:  Gibbs <jgibbs@ncis.gov>

From:  Horatio Caine <hcaine@miami.gov>

CC:  C.oP. <sjohnson@miami.gov>

Xander is allowed to have weapons, NO MATTER WHAT THE ATF OR ANY OTHER GOVERNMENT AGENT THINKS. We will be making sure they are hidden better than the ones we confiscated a few days back.  We will let Xander wear out some of his less than savory contacts to make sure he gets things in good working order and if any bosses do not agree, they can come out to help clean up the mess from where Xander had to rescue all of us by losing his temper multiple times on the people who decided we would make excellent slaves to be sold.  Since not even Xander's Gods could get in to help us before the last part of the rescue, we like Xander having weapons.  They decided he was weak when we took the last batch; this time he can have meaner things and make it look like he was getting rid of the older stuff because it was weaker.

Thank you for your support.  We will be able to make it back to the office in two days.  Xander is on his island coming back to himself after having to berserk to save us all THREE times.

Argue with us and you get to save him from the next one, people.  We don't want Xander to get that hurt or upset.  He's got to be kicking himself.

By the way, LA has worse smog before anyone asks.  Though Angel can cook; surprising skill for a vampire.

Mac Taylor and Horatio Caine.//

Gibbs calmly called an office across town.  "It's Gibbs.  Harris is down on his island after having to rescue himself.  Caine said he's a berserker and he's healing down there.  Yeah, I'd call to warn him if you're going to show up in the next few days.   From what I've seen, he's just rescued himself and others from the thing in LA."  He nodded.  "Might be a good idea to warn them, yes."  He hung up, sending that new email to Greg, who snickered.  "Help him find better things."

"Sure, Gibbs.  Not that I know weapons...."  He gave him a look.  "I'll call that hotty at the ATF who keeps hitting on me."

"Don't let her know why.  They *hate* Horatio," Tony warned.

Greg snickered.  "There's a lot of agents who hate Horatio for some reason."  He grinned and got to work calling her to find some neat things for Xander to find and buy.  He'd appreciate it.

***

Xander woke up to the phone, blinking at the ringing thing.  He didn't know the island had phones that worked.  He picked it up, putting it against his ear.  "What?" he asked quietly, sounding exhausted.  He blinked at the nice voice on the other end.

//Mr. Harris, this is Agent Ferngully, like the movie, with the FBI.  We have warrant to check your island for more records the former owner kept.  Would it bother you if we showed up this afternoon?  We were warned you were feeling a bit under the weather at this time.//

"Tired," he admitted.  "Don't care, don't wake me up."  He hung up and snuggled back in, realizing there was a warm body behind him.  He blinked at Ares.  "Oops?"

"No, that wasn't an oops but it was a good, reasonable course of action, Xander.  You're not in trouble.  You saved a lot of lives and the only ones who died were the bad guys," he said gently, stroking over his hair.  He knew that Xander's soul was still surrounding a gentle core and he hated to kill people.  "Horatio has put around that you got rid of your last set of weapons because you're looking for better things.  That he'll make sure you keep them hidden better as well since someone found the last stash.  He said you can use all the contacts you want to buy new things."  Xander nodded, putting his head back down, scooting a few centimeters closer.  Ares smirked at him.  "Go ahead.  I know I'm a furnace of heat."  Xander snuggled against his side, resting his head on his stomach.  "The headache and tiredness is backlash."  He created a milkshake and handed it over.  "Drink that really fast so it'll help."  Xander swallowed it in a few gulps then closed his eyes and went back to sleep.  Ares heard the plane land and nodded.  A few minutes later an agent leaned in.  "He's asleep."

"Thank you.  You are?"

"Ares, God of War."

"Um....  Okay," he said cautiously.  Ares created a fireball.  "Never mind then."

"Xander is one of my priests but he's a high priest to Cupid and Strife."  That got a nod and the agent walked off.  He smirked down at his boy's body.  "I love the confused look they get."  Another agent walked in and bowed then left.  "Gotta love my former military guys too."  He stroked over Xander's shoulder and hair, making him stay asleep so he could heal and rest.  Backlash wasn't something immortal healing could really heal quickly.  It'd be a few days instead of a few months but he still needed healing.  He winced when something crashed, waking Xander up.  Xander growled and went out there to beat whoever it was.  The agents all begged prettily when he got there and Xander let him lead him back to bed.  He tucked him in, gave him a piece of chocolate, then laid down next to him again.  "We can do this for now."

Xander finished his treat, carefully putting his head back down again.  "Thank you, Ares.  How much trouble am I in?"

"Ryan's going to complain that you knocked him out but you were too far gone for him to bring you out."  He stroked over his hair again.  "You're not in trouble.  Mac and Stella told them why the place had blown up and all the buyers were mostly gone.   The LA police and FBI don't want to talk to you anymore.  Horatio said you can have new weapons and he's told a contact of yours that the dump was because you wanted stronger things.  Gibbs wants Greg to find you a list."  Xander smiled a bit at that.  "We'll see what we can find you, Xander."  He nodded, snuggling in carefully.  "Don't treat me like the bed but you can cuddle today.  I know you feel miserable."  Xander nodded, snuggling properly into his side, one of his legs over one of Ares' thighs  "They'll be down to get you on the way home."

"Have them go home.  I'll get there soon," Xander muttered.

"Sure, I can tell them that."  He sent that to Ryan, making him unhappy.   Oh well.

***

Ryan looked up from his cornflakes.  "Ares said to head back to work.  He's got Xander at the moment and Xander said he'd come home soon."  He ate a bite of his cereal.  "Which means that the agents are probably back on the island and Xander's not feeling too well."

"Oh no!  If he can baby us, we get ta baby him when he's sick," Don said firmly.  He called down there.  "Ares, I don't care.  We get to baby my boy when he feels nasty.  Even if he's having painful thoughts it's our job.  He does it to us!"  He hung up and went back to his breakfast.  "So, any idea where we're going to set up a better warehouse for Xander, Horatio?"

"The one his gun collection is in needs to move too," he admitted.  "We can let him buy one if he wants and then secure it better.  Between us we know enough about alarms to make sure nothing and no one gets in."  Mac nodded since his mouth was full.  "I would like to keep his collection smaller.  Able to drive back Cuba if it comes, not the aliens when they come."

Speed gave him a look.  "Aliens?"

"Well, Ryan and Xander talk to their Gods, we talk to ours.  Why won't aliens come some year?" he countered. "Probably to talk to Xander."

Speed finished up quickly and hauled his boy up.  "Excuse us, we have to make him sane again."  He dragged his boy off to get him back on the path to sanity.  Which was probably Horatio's intention for letting out that thought but he needed it.

"It's possible he's right," Eric admitted.  Ryan gave him an odd look.  "Have they said he's not?"

"No," he said calmly, sending that thought to Ares.  The one he got back made him smile.  "He said that's not Xander's job.  He's got people for that when they show up."  Eric moaned.  "So we only have to plan to keep Orlando, telelmarketers, tele-preachers, or Cuba from invading Miami."  Danny and Angel both gave him an odd look.  "What?  Pat Robertson wanted his people to invade Orlando and take over because they let gay people have fun.  We should keep all his sort away from Miami!  Eric would pout and we'd lose a lot of revenue from spring break if  they took away the slutty women in bikinis or our strip and dance clubs."

Stella checked his forehead.  "Are you suffering from battle fatigue or berserking yesterday?"

"No," he said with a grin.  "They have called for it to be ended and have been trying to pressure colleges to not have a spring break.  Especially about all our gay people.  Which means that Xander would be on the front edge of that invasion."

Discord appeared, checking his forehead.  "Are you sure you're not sick?"  She tipped Ryan's face up.  "Take Eric and go screw yourself into a nap, Ryan.  Aphrodite just burst out crying at that thought."  He pouted but did as ordered.  She shook her head quickly, going to share that with Strife and Ares.

"It will not happen while I'm alive," Apollo announced to those still eating.  "*I'd* miss the slutty women in bikinis.  It will not happen or they will all die of horrible illnesses that no one but me can cure."

"Sure, we appreciate the help with that situation," Stella called.  "Thanks, Lord Apollo."  She looked at Mac, who was whimpering and shaking his head.  "It's good we have a plan if they come, Mac."

"If they come we'll all pray really hard and let Xander dance at them," Danny said, smiling at Don, who tested his forehead.  "What?  It'd stop that!  Probably make 'em all his love slaves or somethin' but it'd stop any preacher and his people coming to invade Miami.  The aliens might be nice so we'll let them prove themselves before we sic Xan's hips o'doom on 'em."

Don stood up.  "'Scuse us, the mental disease has spread."  He drug Danny off to cure him too.

"It's exposure to Harris," Angel told Mac.  "He drove me insane a few times too.  Those who live with him would get hit worse."

Stella smirked.  "Horatio and Speed live in their own house and Horatio's nephew is Xander's assistant and trouble-buddy.  I'm sure Ray doesn't have those sort of thoughts."   She texted Ray's phone with the thought of letting Xander handle an alien invasion.  She snickered at his answer of 'funny, he doesn't look like Will Smith'.  She showed it to Mac who walked off to get some semi-fresh air.  The Hyperion was downtown so it was smoggy outside but it was fine with him.

Angel smirked at her.  "That's mean."

"And evil.  Thank you."

He walked off smiling.

"Angel, please don't get too happy.  I doubt Xander's friends want to see you being all evil and stuff," Fred called after him.  "Besides, I still have your leather pants hidden."

"No, we see plenty of Xander being evil now and then," Stella called.  Angel gave her an odd look.  "You've never seen a GHS Xander in 'destroy them for fucking with my people' mode?"  He shuddered, going to hide in his room for the rest of the day.  She snickered, taking the extra breakfast for herself.

Wesley came out of the kitchen.  "You could've made more."

"The looks on their faces are better than the extra food," she said happily.  He laughed, settling in to eat with her.  "So, you knew Xander when he was simply goofy and violent?"

"A bit.  He didn't let me in very deeply but I did work with him."  She smiled.  "You want blackmail, don't you?  I don't have much."

"Oh, yes.  I *so* want blackmail for the next time he's out shopping by himself and nearly gets taken.  For the next time some poor normal officer has to grab him and bring him to us to protect him for a few minutes."

He smirked.  "I've done some research into this GHS organization.  That doesn't appear to be that unusual."

"No, but most of them go out with guards."

"Does he have any?"

"No, they won't let him hire a bodyguard."

"Perhaps they should."

"Yeah but it'd have to be someone who talked to him and loved his ferrets and baby dragon."  Wesley shook his head quickly so she pulled out pictures.  "That's Hubert."

He looked then stared at her.  "You weren't kidding."

"Nope.  He's a good, smart little guy.  Thinks the ferrets are the neatest toy ever."  Don walked in and grabbed something off the table.  "How old is Hubert?"

"We got him as an egg if I heard right," he admitted.  He looked at the picture.  "He's about full lap size plus tail now."  He walked off with the syrup.

Stella grinned.  "He pulls out the ferrets to play with them all the time.  I hope someone's taking care of them."

"Aiden is, I called," Don called back.  A door slammed.

"That doesn't go there!" someone male shrieked.

Stella snickered. "Sorry."

"No, it's good to hear happy sounds here instead of fighting or healing from injury noises," he assured her.  Gunn came out of his room, giving him a long look.  "They're curing the thoughts of how Xander could help cure an alien invasion or an invasion by those ministers on tv who preach one thing and then do another."

Gunn grabbed some food and went back to his room, slamming and locking the door.  He wasn't going to get involved in that.  Xander himself was bad enough.  His family was clearly insane thanks to him.

Wesley snickered.  "He'll be fine when he finishes waking up."  He patted her on the hand.  "The year I got there, Xander had done some truly stupid things.  Hunting alone comes to mind."

"He didn't?"

"He wasn't supposed to.  He wasn't very well trained back in those days."

"True but how bad could it have been?"

"He nearly got staked on his own stake once.  I know one night he got knocked out and left in a cemetery."  She shuddered.  "We're very lucky we didn't have him turned.  Though I did hear about the wish incident that created an alternate universe with a vampire him in it.  He was truly a very mean and evil sort."  She leaned forward, she hadn't heard that story.

Pouty Boys.

Xander looked at the email he had gotten from his Greggy buddy, smiling a bit.  "That's a nice list."  He found links to various picture sites so he could see what they looked like.  Most of them looked fairly nice.  One of the agents wandering around his island came in, giving him an odd look for the picture he was looking at.  "How heavy are those?"

"Those are illegal to own, Mr. Harris," he said patiently.

Xander looked at him.  "Horatio confiscated my weapons.  That's what got us kidnaped the last time."  The agent gave him a horrified look.  "I'll hide them to make sure no one else can use them but the family but I'm going to have a few higher weapons just in case I need them for my safety and security.   Even if I do have to create a situation where I start my own country."  He stared at him and the agent backed off, heading to call his boss and let him know what had been said.  Xander went back to browsing.  His head was throbbing but nothing was going to take the pain away this time.  Even if he couldn't whine at the agents, he didn't feel like whining at anyone.  He felt like hell.  He leaned back, sending back a simple 'thank you, I'll look into them to see if I want them' email.  He got one from Danny telling him to come home.  It wasn't fair that they couldn't baby him.  He wrote him a longer one.  Greg forwarded him the email that Horatio and Mac had sent Gibbs, making him frown and write Horatio back.  "I don't know that many weapons people, guys," he muttered as he typed.  "Otherwise I'd have more toys."  The lead agent stomped in and he waved.  "What?"

"You had weapons?  Real weapons?"

Xander squinted at him since he was standing in some light.  "Go ask Horatio.  It was keeping my GHS ass safe."  The agent snarled and pulled out cuffs.  "Try it and find your ass in the ocean.  I am *not* in a happy mood with the backlash I have because I had to save our asses this time.  I'm *so* going to nag Horatio for taking my weapons since it meant we were seen as weak enough to take again.  If you must know things, call him.  He's still in LA.  Want the number to the Hyperion?"  The agent huffed and stomped off to call his boss.  He sent Greg the number at the Hyperion for whichever agent would want it.   That way someone without a headache could nag Horatio for him.

***

Greg looked at his newest email.  "For some reason, Xander thinks someone will want to get hold of Horatio while he's in LA.  He sent the number to the Hyperion with a small mutter about huffing agents."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Send it to me, Sanders."  He forwarded it and Gibbs called someone.  "It's Gibbs," he said in greeting.  "Harris is pissing off your agents.  I have their number if they need to get hold of Caine while he's in LA."  He looked at it then read it off.  "That's the Hyperion, where everyone's hiding until they can get back tomorrow."  He hung up, shaking his head.  "Any idea what started that problem?"

Greg sent the question to Xander, who sent back a short description.  "One of the agents caught him looking at the weapons I found him and protested.  He told them to blow him basically and to ask Horatio why."

McGee typed in something, handing over a small piece of paper he wrote a number on.  "Agent Ferngully's number, boss.  That way Horatio can call him directly to get that straightened out before Mr. Harris has to pull something that makes the agents drooling slaves after him?"

"No, that's my ploy," Tony said dryly as he came down the stairs.  "Why would Xander be doing that?"  Greg let him see the current email and he snorted.  "Xander could probably declare that island a separate nation at the moment.  That would let him have as many weapons as he wanted.  Plus the *other room* in his house."

Greg snickered.  "That could be shut up suddenly."

"Yeah, but a warehouse could have a fire too," Tony pointed out, sitting down.  "Does anyone else wonder how Miami's doing and if they're feeling bored?"

"No, they're not," Greg promised. "I wrote Ray.  The Xander Society of Poker Buddies is *pissed* at the people who took Xander this time.  Ready to start a battle pissed.  Miami vs. LA style pissed.  It's going to make the rapper wars look puny since three of his poker buddies are international assassins and another one's a multi-national cartel lord.  Not to mention the other gang members, the two or three semi-legit people who're recently retired, Sonny Sassone and a few other notable New York thugs, and the only Canadian mobster on record."

Gibbs stared at him.  "Is he still playing poker?"

"Caine made himself very clear.  He walked into one of the games, took off his sunglasses, looked right at Sonny then at the others and told them Xander was no longer allowed to play poker because they had been mean to Xander.  Even though the Mala Noches liked Xander enough to not take him out unless the contract was very high, and the General's empire was now in very bad shape thanks to screwing with Xander and the Noches, Xander was going to have to withdraw until such a time as they could play nicely with him again.  Sonny apparently snarked something and Horatio glared then told one of the other guys to tell him why.  The other guy reported it very well, he was an undercover agent actually and gave a precise report.  Sonny decided Xander was scarier than any gay man he'd ever met and most of the thugs he knew too.  He'd respect that and try to keep the trouble down around Xander before Xander had to handle something else.  Caine told him that's why he was there instead of Xander then slid back on his sunglasses, told them to keep Miami from turning into a warzone or a Xander present givers zone, then left.  Later that night I heard six different people who wanted to take Xander were handed over mysteriously by the black van method at the station when they were shoved out of a moving black van then it sped off."  He grinned sweetly.  "Horatio laughed when he said that last part."

Tony shook his head.  "I'm *so* damn glad I'm not a level ten."

"You and me both," Greg reminded him.

McGee took the simple course.  He looked up and thanked God neither of them were level nines or tens.

"Welcome," Aphrodite called, appearing in the middle of the row.  She smirked at him.  "Level tens are my baby boy's special presents to the world."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "You're so adorable!" she cooed.  She looked at Greg.  "He's about to beat the agents.  Ares and Strife went to throw them in the ocean for him."  She smirked at Gibbs.  "Don't worry, sweetie, I don't show up often unless you're one of my favorite couples."

"I knew I was cute but you like us that much?" Greg teased.

She laughed.  "You're not bad.  Not fully true love but not bad.  You're a good match together and very warmth inducing.  Hephie had to change the stones in my chain thong because of you two."  She winked at Tony, who blushed.  She laughed at Gibbs' look too.  "Now, we should work on you."

"No thanks.  Tried that a few times.  Had enough."

"Who is *that*?" the new director shouted from the walkway.

Aphrodite looked up and wiggled her fingers, then winked.  "Love goddess.  You?  I'm trying to find someone good for this studly pookie."  She patted Gibbs on the head.  Then she disappeared.

The director stared at him.  "What the hell, Gibbs!"

"She's a friend of Xander's, sir," Greg called.  "She came to set him up."

"Well keep her out of the building!" he shouted, going back to his office.

Strife appeared but only to them, shaking his head.  "She's gonna make him have a stroke soon."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Yes, run. It's a good strategy.  Especially if you see the crossbow with the heart on the end of it.  Run like hell and cover your ass."  He disappeared again.  "Xander's fine.  The agents are begging Ares prettily."

"Well, he is big and buff," Tony quipped, making McGee glare at him.  "He is!"

"I didn't need that thought, Tony.  Thank you anyway!"

"Welcome," Greg said happily.

McGee got up and went for coffee before he said something else.

Gibbs looked at them.  "Go wear it out, boys," he ordered calmly.  "Before she comes back to watch."  They went to borrow Abby's office for that.  She never minded and liked to watch them wear those things out.  He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes so he could take a short nap.  He needed a nap after watching her in that outfit of hers.  He hadn't known women could shave that much of themselves.  His ex-wives hadn't.

***

Xander pouted at Ares later that afternoon.  "Where am I going to get more weapons this time?"

"I've got a few contacts," he said, giving him a look.  "No pouting at me, Xander.  Your boys would hate it if I cured it for you."

"Thankfully the backlash is keeping it down," he complained, resting against his side.  "Can I have the pretty, big weapons?"

"Sure."  He patted him on the shoulder, shaking his head when the young man fell asleep against his side.  "It's not wearing it out, Xander."  He sent him back to his bed and got up, going to shoo the agents off the island.  He was tired of them.  He cleared his throat from the doorway of the office.  "Gentlemen.  Aren't you done yet?"

"No, we're still considering if we need to remove the machines for the safety of the world.  That way he can't make level ten babies," one said smartly.

Ares turned him into a goat.  "He's infertile.  A good ten percent of GHS are infertile, even with cloning."  They all moaned.  "Let me rephrase my earlier statement.  You're done."  They nodded, going back to the plane.  "Don't forget your goat."

"Can you maybe change him back?" Agent Ferngully asked politely.  "He's clearly a sheep instead of a goat, sir."

Ares laughed.  "I like that.  His boss will be able to change him back."

"Thank you, sir."  He walked the goat out with them.  The other agents gave him an odd look.  "Lord Ares said he'd be changed back by our boss."  He tied him to the back seat in the plane while the pilot got them ready for takeoff, shaking his head.

***

Gibbs looked at the agent sitting across from him the next morning; he and Fornell were having coffee to talk about a situation that had come up when Agent Ferngully walked over a ...goat.  "What is that?"

"Lord Ares turned him into this when he questioned him, Agent Gibbs.  He said his boss could change him back but it's apparently not our direct boss.  He told me to try Fornell because he thinks he might've known him."

Fornell looked at the goat then at him.  "What makes you think I'd want him back if he was stupid enough to piss off a god?"

"He has four children and a wife, sir.  I'm sure she'd like to divorce him legally since he's that stupid and he was cheating on her.  Then someone could change him back for all we care.  He even tried to arrest Mr. Harris when he said he used to have weapons but Lieutenant Caine confiscated them, thus getting them kidnaped again."

"We heard," Fornell assured him.  He smacked the goat on the head and it changed back.  "Go clean out your desk," he ordered.  "I will not have people stupid enough to piss off a God on my payroll."  He whimpered but let the other agent drive him back.  "Think I could send that one to Miami?" he asked Gibbs, who was snickering quietly.

"I think you guys should have a small office that deals with GHS matters," he shot back.  "Kidnapings, international issues, terrorists who give DiNozzo diamonds.  Sounds like it's your people's jobs."

"Don't remind me.  Did we get them?"

"We did," he said happily.  "Sanders was not impressed and told him so during interrogation.  Nearly made him cry that two GHS were together instead of being the proper pets they should be.  He offered them both a spot but Greg had to be drug out before he struck him.  McGee gave him some very good reasons about why dealing with two GHS was horrible.  That did make him cry.  He confessed as long as we didn't tell his kind that he broke down."

"Sure, I won't tell them," Fornell said with an evil smirk.

"I didn't and that was my promise.  Telling you isn't telling a terrorist."  He gave him a look.  "Anything new we've heard?"

"Nope.  How long have GHS been annoying the world?"

"The group formed in the sixteen hundreds according to Ducky."  He let out a small sigh.  "Back then it was favored concubine penpals."

"Now they're more free to not be owned so they don't have the same sort of trouble," he decided.  Gibbs nodded.  "Are there other level tens?"

"They live in fortresses with guards and multiple lovers.  The one that vexes my team now and then only has two lovers and two backups.  Most of them have four full-time and then helpers from the guards."  Fornell moaned.  "Plus he leaves the house and most of them don't.  He's easily bored."

"Poor Miami."

"Miami's pretty safe for him," Gibbs said dryly.  "Apparently his former poker buddies are keeping it safe enough for him.  Caine said so."  Fornell burst out laughing at that.  "Ever seen a convention?"

"Not yet.  I'm told I'm taking some very liberal agents to the next one."

"They have a room that's nothing but a huge cuddle pile according to DiNozzo."  That got a shudder.  "Some shopping, dinners, panels for different topics.  DiNozzo runs self- defense for the group.  He's one of the very few officers."

"Is Caine?" he asked quietly, glancing around.  Gibbs nodded a fraction of an inch.  "You're sure?"  He nodded that same fraction of an inch.  "He doesn't seem it."

"Silk suits?" he countered.  "Pampered and spoiled by his department?"

"Never mind.  That makes a lot more sense.  Does he have a keeper?"  Gibbs smirked but nodded.  "In the same lab?"  He nodded again. "Delko?"

"Speedle."

"Ah."

"They're basically the parent figures over that whole group down there.  They've got a few in the detectives, a few in the labs, and Wolfe, who's a priest of Ares."

Fornell shuddered.  "So he carries around a sword and ram armor?"

"No, he's tattooed for that part.  Sword I heard he does carry in his hummer and one in his locker as well.  Plus Harris uses a sword form of self-defense training so they all play with swords down there with him.  Keeps them in good shape according to DiNozzo and Sanders.  They learned that strange dancing, sword fighting, self-defense thing Harris learned.  Keeps them in great shape."

"Don't let it become the newest hollywood fad," Fornell ordered.

"Apparently only they can do it."

"Even better.  Have any clue how to stop it for your boys?"

"Get more of them into DC.  It doesn't happen that often to Harris because he's surrounded by others.  Here they stand out more."

"A blue light in a room full of blue and white lights doesn't stand out but a blue light in a room full of white lights does," Fornell summarized.  Gibbs nodded.  "Any way to encourage more to move here?"

Tony walked over and sat down.  "There's a few who're coming in with the new senators."  He stared at them.  "Talking about us in public is not a good idea, boss."

"We made sure no one could hear," Gibbs pointed out.

Tony pointed at one guy.  "He's got a distance hearing set, boss."  Gibbs glared and the guy pulled out a badge.  "Yay, we have one too."  The man came over to show his.  Tony looked at him.  "Which one are you after?"

"We're protecting your ass, Agent DiNozzo.  We heard you were recently wanted by a terrorist."

"Yeah, he wanted to acquire us.  McGee told him how horrible that would be so he broke."  The man moaned.  "The boss handles that for us.  Any threats you hear, please give to him?"

"Of course, Agent DiNozzo."  Tony stared at him so he smirked.  "I used to help a level three."

"Ah.  So you do know?"  He nodded.  "Good, we like the idea to make a single unit of the FBI deal with us."  He blinked his big green eyes at him.  "You?"

"I can see the benefits, especially those of us who used to be keepers," he said dryly, walking off.  "I'll gather the files I have, sir."

"Thank you."  He looked at them.  "Greg and I were having breakfast in the car listening to you two."  He smiled at them.  "Quit.  Before you have to go to somewhere to rescue one of us.  If it happens again we're quitting and moving to Xander's island."  He stood up and went to get a refill of his coffee.

"No I'm not.  The cable's great but I'd be bored," Greg called from the car.  "Maybe half the year."  He put his window back up.

Fornell shook his head quickly.  "They're going to drive you insane, Jethro."

"DiNozzo was already trying that.  Hasn't succeeded yet."  He glared at Tony when he strolled off.  "Aren't you supposed to be at your desk?"

"Aphrodite came back to talk to Abby.  The director ended up humping his filing cabinet and computer monitor after he broke the screen to get a hole.  The whole office has the day off but is on-call."  He went back to the car and got in to drive the special SUV off.

Fornell watched the truck go.  "That thing is massive."

"Harris gave it to them as a happy getting together present," Gibbs said dryly.  "Has two gas tanks, regular seats in the back since Harris' has limo style seats.  It has emergency compartments.  It has a very good engine.   It has backing up and undercarriage cameras.  It's got a good security system.  It's bulletproof up to fifty caliber shells.  I want them driving that instead of either of their cars.  It's safer."

"Gas guzzler?"

"Definitely but yay.  We even take it for out-of-city calls now."  He finished his coffee.  "It was an expensive toy but a good one."

"We might have to get the more normal version if we do end up setting up that unit."  He got up and went to talk to his boss once he had a refill.  "Sir," he said when he walked into his office.  "Your secretary was gone.  Do you have a few?"

"Of course, Agent Fornell.  What's wrong?  Did they turn that one boy back?"

"Yes, sir, and I fired him for being stupid enough to mouth off to a God."  That got a nod.  "Plus I was told he was cheating on his wife."  He sipped his coffee, noticing how relaxed he was.  "You know about the current GHS problems in DC?"  He nodded slowly.  "It was suggested by a few different sources that we start a unit of agents who can deal with them.  Preferably ones who've dealt with one in the past but they'd get to handle the kidnaping, presents, terrorists, weapons, and all that stuff that seems to go with being a higher level member."

"It's not a bad idea.  Miami could definitely use it."

"Caine has most of them scared and with so many I'm told that the problems are less."

"That's an interesting point.  Can we get more to move to DC if that is true?"

"DiNozzo said a few senators are moving in with theirs soon."

"Ah.  That's always a good thing then."  He considered it, leaning back in his chair.  "I think we can do that.  Do you know anyone who used to handle one?"  He wrote down a name.  "Which agency?"

"ATF.  He was listening to us this morning.  DiNozzo nearly bit us for talking at an empty coffee shop.  He said he had dealt with a level three in the past."

"So he'd know," he decided.  "I'll see what I can do.  It'd be a multi-task project with a very small pool of problems."

"You could almost make it a very loose unit, sir.  A few in the various offices?"

"That I can see.  Specialized training?"

"The website has an address for their national head.  Ask him, sir.  He might even know some other agents who have been broken up with or who're presently in the agency.  I know at least one of my guys has a lower level at home."

"Good.  I'll do that.  Good suggestion, Fornell."  He nodded and left so he let his secretary out from under his desk.  "That's not a bad idea."

"I know one of my brother's frat brothers used to date DiNozzo way back when but he went dom and they don't like that."

"That's fine.  Have someone pull me a good range of files to pick them."  She nodded, going to do that.  He leaned back to enjoy his afterglow and think about the idea.  He did log onto the website to send an email to the national head.  It would make his people more secure, he shouldn't mind that much.  Not like they'd be asking for membership lists.  They had already stolen DiNozzo's membership directory for the year to make sure no others were in DC.

***

Horatio answered his phone. "We're in the airport," he reported.  He blinked.  "I don't know, Adam.  What was suggested?"  He snickered as the email was read to him.  "That would help Paul definitely."  He snickered at the complaint going on.  "Well, yes, but it could still help them and us.  Maybe be able to head off kidnapings in this country?  Perhaps arrest some of the sick people who keep sending us stuff?  Maybe they'll make it so it's only training that kicks in when something happens."

"Tony said his directory was stolen," Don reminded him.  "Gibbs handed it back."

"Don said that Gibbs stole Tony's directory at one point to see if he had more to protect in DC."  He laughed at the suggestion he'd have five more in the new year from new senators.  "That's fine, Adam.  We'll talk about it when we get back."  He hung up and got into the screening line.  Mac was in the lead and of course they beeped on him.  "We're police officers out of Miami," Horatio told him.  "Him, her, me, those two, and that one," he said, pointing at all of them.  They were pulled out to be hand wanded instead.  The machine would pick up any gunpowder residue on them.  Their bags got scanned and they were left to go to the boarding area.  Where Danny got picked for a secondary bag check but he only sighed and let them check.  The chocolates got an odd look but nothing more was said.

It'd be an uneventful flight, they hoped.

***

Xander woke up needy and wanting, pouting at the ceiling since nothing was around.  He got up to look around but no sex toys either.  He didn't feel too bad.  Maybe he could make the portal back to his house?  No, he tried and the headache started.  That did not go well with the GHS urges.  So instead he went to call his pilot and take a shower.  He came out when he heard a plane coming in to land.  The rented pilot nodded at him. "Thank you," he said quietly.  "A peaceful ride so I can nap off the headache?"  That got a nod and the pilot went back to the cockpit so they could take off and go back to Miami.  Xander tipped his chair back, settling in for the few hours they'd take.  It was a smooth ride.

***

Horatio came off the plane and into his boss's welcoming party.  "Sir," he said.

"Horatio."  He shook his hand. "Mac.  Thank you for trying to save them."

"It's what I do, sir.  They're friends.  Are the labs all right?"

"They're fine, boys.  Come on.  We got sent word that Xander left his island and is coming home as well."  Danny and Don jogged toward the private plane terminal.  "Anxious?"

"They are his lovers," Horatio reminded him. "Guys, Xander's coming in too."  They nodded, heading that way once they had their bags.  Plus Danny and Don's bags.  Their boss walked with them.  "Was there a problem?" he asked quietly.

"I want to know your plans for his weapons."

"A sealed, alarmed, protected warehouse," Horatio told him.  "We have no idea what we're getting him yet."

"That's fine.  I do want to be kept in the loop."

"Of course.  His gun locker is already a good size."  That got a nod.  "Did someone find them?"

"I had Tripp look it up, Horatio."  That got a small smile.  "He nearly had a heart attack when he did a property search."

"More than the house and the farm?"

"The old house is still owned by him."

"It's for sale but hasn't been taken yet," Horatio admitted.   "Did he own either of the warehouses?"

"He owns one warehouse and it is protected but it looks like a present depository."

Horatio whimpered.  "Artwork?"

"That too, Horatio."  He patted him on the arm.  "He has the information for you tomorrow.  I only expect you to check in today."

"Thank you, sir.  Sorry it took us so long to get back."

"You can't help filled flights, Horatio."  He smirked a tiny bit.  "Did you get the suggestion to train FBI agents in each office in how to deal with your sort?"

"I did and Adam's not sure it's a good idea.  It could lead to us being more open, which would cause problems."

"That's one thing to consider.  Though I believe someone's managed to get membership directories each year for the past three when his wife brought hers back to the Philadelphia office."

Horatio shook his head, sighing a bit.  "Most of us lock those up."

"All level tens and nines are sent separately to people in law enforcement?"  Horatio nodded.  "That's probably a very good idea."

"We do tend to run into them," he agreed.  "We'll talk about that at the next convention, sir."

"That's fine, Horatio.  It'd be like special training by what their director wants.  A few agents in each office.  After all, Agent DiNozzo nearly got presents from a terrorist."

"That's why he's an agent, sir."

"Good point.  Do you think they don't know Mr. Harris?"

Horatio looked at him.  "With his former poker buddies?  I'm sure they do.  I'm also sure they got the point that trying for Xander pisses us all off."  They caught up with the others.  "Boys, Xander apparently has a present warehouse Frank found?"

Don looked at him and nodded.  "Not just his.  It's mostly not presents but one of the upper GHS just died and left him some stuff.  So he rented somewhere."

"Bought," the Chief corrected.

"He said rented.  I'll have to spank for that," Danny said dryly.  Don gave him a fond look.  "He shouldn't lie."

"Maybe it's a different place," Stella pointed out.

"We'll be finding that out too," Danny assured her happily.

"Frank did, boys, and Stella.  When he found that one he went to feed your pets and check the files in the office.  He found a lot of information."  Mac and Horatio both shook their heads.  "Is he playing poker again?"

"No, sir, he's just being naughty," Danny assured him.  "We'll handle it tonight."

"Don't be too hard on him.  He's probably a bit bored, boys."

"We've been trying to get him new hobbies," Don promised.  "He's just started to learn leather work."

"Yes, I heard rumors about the new thong Speedle got."  Speed nodded.  He pointed.  "That's probably him."  They turned and he left.   They could talk to their own problematic boy later on.  After they made sure he was all right and fussed over him a few times.  He did call Frank's desk to let him know they were back so he could go over for dinner or something.  It'd make it easier on his favorite headaches.

***

Xander came off the plane, shaking the pilot's hand.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, sir."

Xander slid on his sunglasses and walked inside, letting the customs people take his bag and passport.   He had found a copy down there in the office.  That was nice of his former desirer.  He got passed through and came out to the rest of his family.  "You didn't all have to come pick me up."

"We only got back a half-hour ago.  We waited," Danny said, pulling him in for a hug.  "You good?"

"Headache, otherwise fine."  He grinned.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," he promised.  "Fred fussed in your place while we healed the minor scratches and stuff."  Xander nodded, resting his head on his shoulder.  "C'mon, we should go home and eat."

"I'm too tired to cook."

"We'll order," Don promised, taking him for his own cuddles.  Xander smiled at him.  "C'mon.  Frank's been feeding the pets."  They nodded, walking out together.

A messenger came running over to the group.  "Lieutenant Caine?"  Horatio raised a hand slightly so the envelope was handed over.  "Here you go, sir.  It was left for you yesterday so you could get home."  He nodded and Don tipped the boy, letting him run off again.

Horatio opened the envelope, smiling at the simple message.  "Frank drove Xander's SUV over, boys.  It's in short term and he included the parking fee too."  They nodded, heading that way.  It was the only vehicle that could fit all of them with the limo-style backseat.  Horatio slid in to drive.  He had driven it before.  It was a very comfortable, easy ride.  Even if it did  have the turning radius of a small tank.  Stretch Range Rovers and Hummers both had the turning radius of a small tank so he was used to it.  He made sure they were all settled, then backed out slowly, watching the rear bumper camera.  He put it in drive and went forward.  The toll taker had to reach up to get the fee but he smiled at her.  "Thank you."  He drove off, heading for Xander's house.  He even called Frank on the way.  "Did you feed and water our ferrets as well, Frank?  We are driving home.  That's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's been checking on Ray Junior.  He's been feeding all the pets for the last few days," he called into the back area.  He checked the mirror.  Xander was on Don's lap with Danny stroking his back.  The others were stretched out.  He smiled, going back to the road.  Speed took his hand to hold.  "At least we did get a day off," he said quietly.

"We did.  The shopping was fun."  He smirked a bit.  He pointed in the mirror.  "Lights."

Horatio checked then pulled over, rolling down his window.  "Yes, Officer?"

"Sir, is this vehicle legal?" he asked.

"Yes, Officer, it is," Horatio said.  He pulled out the proper forms, showing it to him.  "I noticed the license plate was on."

"It is, sir.  Doesn't mean it's street legal."  He looked it over.  "Shouldn't you have a chauffeur's license for something this big?"

"It's a personal vehicle, not commercial," Speed said.  "The owner's resting in the back."

"Really?  Are we perhaps bothering him, sir?  This vehicle is on a watch list because the owner is ...bothered now and then."

Horatio looked at him over the edge of his sunglasses.   "No, we're not, Officer.  Why would myself, half my lab, half of Detective Taylor's lab, and his lovers be bothering him?"  The officer gave him an odd look.

"We're just getting back from a kidnaping.  We're tired," Speed told him.  "You're making Horatio cranky.  That's always a bad idea since he's the head of the felony crime lab, kid."  The officer snickered.  "Honestly."  He called someone, putting the phone on the hands-free set Xander had in the car.  "Sir, please talk to the officer who just pulled us over?"

"Son, this is Chief Williams."

"Sir," he said, snapping closer to attention.

"They're not taking Mr. Harris.  These are the ones who guard him and who the boy spoils.  I'm sure Mr. Harris has a headache from his recent kidnaping and is in the back.  Yes?"

"I'm tired," Xander complained.  "I have backlash from saving our asses."  He crawled forward, giving the officer a mean look.  "You said mean things about my hair too.  Go away."  He took the papers back and reached over Horatio to put the window up then went back to his snuggling.  It was making his head hurt less.

Horatio smiled, putting the privacy window up before rolling down his again.  "He's got a headache."

"Fine, sir.  I will be checking into your story."

"You're zealous, we like that," Speed said.  "Annoying us probably isn't that wise but it's good you're determined.  Take the detective's exam, kid."  He hung up on the Chief and let Horatio roll them on.  "This is kinda tank like," he said quietly.

"If it wasn't a personal car, we'd all have to up our licenses to drive it.  I checked, we don't have to as long as it doesn't work."  That got a nod.   He pulled off the highway onto their exit and headed down into traffic.  A few of the drivers gave him interested looks.

Speed looked at one then at him.  "They're jealous," he teased.

"They probably think it  uses too much gas," he joked back.  He called Frank.  "Should we pick you up?"  He snickered at the answer of 'getting a snack on my way there'.  "If you're sure, Frank."  He hung up and kept going.  He turned toward the more exclusive neighborhoods and the sneers started to come out.  "I should turn up the radio and thump a few of the boys and girls off the road."

Xander put down the privacy screen and reached up to flip a switch, making the exterior lights come on.  Then he looked at Horatio.  "I had her tricked a bit more recently," he said with a wicked grin.  "Undercarriage lights and roof ones that beam down to tint the sides."  He smirked at Speed.  "What did you guys do on your day off?"

"Shopped so we had something to wear today.  You okay?"

"Headache.   Need worn out.  The usual."  That got a nod.  "What are we ordering for dinner?"

"Depends, what do we have in the house for ready cash?" Don asked.

"Um, you emptied the safe again," Xander said, giving him a look.

"Hit the ATM, Horatio?" Don called.

"I doubt it'll fit inside," he complained.

Xander pointed.  "Go there, I'll hit it."  Horatio pulled in beside it and let Xander get out of the back to get into the ATM with the card he kept for such problems.  It did have a low overhang.  He got money and came back, waving at the officer following them.  He climbed in and shut the door, handing Don the money.  "There, get dinner."  That got a nod.  "Done, Horatio."

"It's reading as the door's open."  Don closed it again and the light went off so he drove on.  It was a powerful feeling driving this thing.  He pulled into their community's gates, getting a nod from the guards.  The driveway's gate was already open so he pulled in and parked in the garage, getting everyone out and inside.

"Daddy's home!" Xander called.  The dogs and Hubert came running to play with him.  "Daddy missed you boys.  Yes he did," he cooed, settling in the kitchen to play with them.  They barked and went to play with the others when they were done with him.

Danny pulled Xander up off the floor with a groan, taking him into the bedroom to play with him for a few minutes.  He kicked the door shut for some privacy but otherwise his boy's ass was his.  He skimmed him out of his pants, checking him.  "No lube?" he teased.

"Not even a sex toy down there," he pouted.

"We can fix that," he promised.  He found their last bottle of lube and got what they needed out of the drawer.  He slicked his boy up and slid inside, making him moan as he grabbed onto one of the uprights on the bed.  He rode him hard, making him get off.  "That's my boy."  He came and slid out, putting the plug in instead. "There you go, Xander."  Xander smiled.  "Feel better?"

"Some."

"You can pounce Don later."  Xander nodded, letting him cuddle.  "Good boy.  Now, go tell Don what you want for dinner."  Xander bounced out to do that once he had on pants again.  Danny cleaned himself up, tossing out the empty bottle.  He walked out to the living room.  "Anyone have any lube in their room?  We're out."

"Not that I know of," Ryan said from his seat.  "Need a run to the porn store?"

"Yup," Don agreed.  Xander gave him a naughty look.  He spanked him gently.  "Behave."  Xander shook his head.  "We'll go later, Xander.  Even to the one you like since it's more naughty."  Xander beamed at him.

"Are we going home tonight?" Speed asked Horatio.

"We probably should check in with Ray."

Ryan coughed.  "He's on his way over with dinner."  That got a nod.  "Go ahead, Don."  He nodded, going to take the corvette and Xander to pick up the necessary things, plus some new toys.  They found their wallets and ID's in the seat so Xander went to hand them out then came back so they could head off.  Ryan grinned at Horatio.  "I checked in already.  It was quiet while we were gone.  Sheldon and Calleigh ran things.  Only one homicide, a hit and run.  His lab solved it and then they went for pizza since it was teenager love rage."

"She stole my boy?" Danny asked.

"No, he's cheating on me, I'll show him," Ryan told him.  That got a nod.  "Apparently he was cheating a lot.  Her, the football team, the girl's soccer team, a few teachers.  He was only charging a few of them."  Horatio shook his head.  "He had a nice college fund.  That's what his mother said he was doing."  Speed shook his head.  That was even worse.   "His father wanted her charged with murder one for keeping his son from going to college.  Said she was selfish."

"His son being a pro didn't bother him?" Stella asked.

"He said it was the only way his son was going to college.  Sheldon pointed out there were special programs for people who didn't have the money.  He gave him an offended look and said he'd never take charity."  Everyone moaned and shook their heads at that.

Frank walked in from the kitchen with Ray Junior.  "Told them about the gigolo buying it?"

"Yup."  He grinned.  "Hey, Ray."

"Hi, Ryan."  He handed out food.  "Don and Xander?"

"Out of gay sex stuff," Danny told him.  "They'll be home soon."   That got a giggle and their food being put aside.  Danny paid him back and got a nod of thanks for it.  Then they settled in to eat.  "So, Frank, what's going on?"

"Warehouses?" he said dryly.

"Um, yeah, a higher level GHS died and gave him stuff," Danny told him.  "Said that way he'd learn to appreciate some of the finer things in life."

"That explains why it looked like a museum," he said dryly.  "The gun locker is still sealed up.  No new entries since Xander took you in, Horatio.  The other one he owns...."

"He owns somewhere else?" Danny asked.  Frank handed over the file he had carried in.  "Huh.  He did take suggestions.  He bought into a spa."  He flipped the page, nodding slowly.  "That's a good idea too."  Speed looked over his arm then snickered.  "Helpful."

"Very.  Ray, there's a GHS college scholarship now."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "The  Adam M. Smith award for talented and gifted members and their offspring."

"Twenty grand," Danny offered. "That's a good start at most state schools."

"I've got a good college fund," Ray assured them.  "Mom made sure of it."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "The spa's run down.  They're renovating.  I know he's renting rooms on the cruise ship right now.  Only two or three.  The priestess living there is running that for him while she's going to school.   I also know that he's got a few stores where he owns the shop but they're renting it from him.  Places he likes that were up for sale."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "What?   You guys nagged about his future income."  He ate another bite.  "Oh, and a second warehouse but it's not secure yet.  He was planning that for next year to move the weapons to.  He didn't like his babies being that open.  That's why he was doing the magical hiding."

Horatio took the file to look at then went to get the others out of the office.  He and Danny both knew how Xander filed when they weren't supposed to find things. The hidden areas got checked first, and of course Danny found it in one of them.  They brought it back out for group looking over.  Don and Xander came back giggling with a few bags.  "I want to visit that spa, Xander."

"Who got into my stuff this time?" he demanded, scowling at them.

"We went looking for more warehouses," Frank said dryly, giving him a look.  "They should spank you."

"No, they shouldn't."

"It's in your new identity?" Frank asked.

"No, it's in my second one so I'm not linked."  He smirked before grabbing the file and putting it back in the office.  "Steve suggested it since you guys nag so often."  He went into the bedroom to pounce Don.  Don got him calmed down and snuggly after having him.  It was much better than having to think about that stuff.

Danny shook his head.  "We should ask Steve."

"Probably," Ray agreed.

"Or you," Speed said dryly.  "Since you're his assistant."

Ray smirked at him.  "But I'm being bribed to not talk about it."

"Uh-huh.  With?" Speed asked.

Ray snickered.  "If I tell you it's not blackmail, huh?"

"Caught you with your panties down?" Frank suggested.

"No.  I only have the one girlfriend, Frank."  He grinned.  "She's all I need.  After all, I'm only a level four."  Frank shook his head at that.  Horatio patted his hair.  "Nothing too bad, Uncle H."

"What is it, Ray?" he asked calmly.  "We do not want you to follow in certain bad footsteps."

"He taught me to play poker."

"You're going for him?" Speed asked.  Ray beamed and nodded.  They all groaned.

"Still with thugs?" Danny asked.

"Sometimes.  Last week he had to go instead of me because someone wasn't paying me."

"You get what sort of percentage?" Danny asked dryly.

"Thirty percent of what I win.  Which is why my college fund rocks at the moment."  That got a nod.  "Plus I go around with Xander when he's bored."

They all shook their heads.

Don strolled out like he was The Man.  "He's napping."  He took his food and sat down at Danny's feet, getting comfortable so he could eat.  "Been thinking.  Xander's still writing.  Do we realize this?"  They all whimpered.  "I'm going to push him to write porn for real instead of just the convention friends."

"As long as no one comes looking for the author," Horatio warned.

"Nah, shouldn't," Don assured him.  "Hasn't happened yet."  He ate a bite and chewed slowly.  "I checked the place he posts it online.  He's gotten some good reviews.  He's got tons of stuff up there we haven't seen yet."  Danny moaned.   "One's really long too.  Got some great reviews.  I'm thinkin' that should be his first one to send in.  We got a few books so he could see publishers while we were in the shop.  He liked that idea."  That got some nods.  "It'll give him a good outlet for some of his urges."

"Plus something to do now and then," Ray agreed.

"True," Don agreed, grinning at him.  "You did look good in the Armani the other week, Ray."

"Thanks, Don.  Xander, the same as your new one was."

"Saw that," he said with a grin.  Danny gave him a look.  "You have a new one too."

"I noticed my closet was so tight I couldn't put up the laundry last time.  We should look."

"We should," Don agreed.  "It's all nice stuff."  He looked at Ray again.  "How big's your closet?"

"I protest that kids my age don't wear suits and things very often.  So Uncle H gets a few and Uncle Speed got a few for nice dinners out and court."

Speed gave him an odd look.  "I did?"  Ray nodded.  "When?"

"They came back from the tailor yesterday; I hung them up."

Speed shook his head.  "I needed new suits?"

"No, he said you needed to get off your ass and take Uncle H out on more dates so you two could be cute again because you were both too stressed.  That's why he got you something nice to wear."  He grinned a bit.  "He got Uncle H a new suit for the date he's prompting too."

"Any other plans for the date?" Frank asked.

"Don't know.  Have to ask him.  Xander?"  Xander wobbled out and snuggled into Don's side, taking a bite of his dinner.  Frank handed him his box, getting a grunt back.  "Did you plan their date?"

Xander blinked at Speed.  "Don't make me sponsor another regional convention for you two."  Horatio snickered at that.  "Really.  Though you can go visit the spa I leant money to in New York if you wanted to.  Horatio liked it last time."

"We'll see," Speed told him.

"Convention's in New York this year," Danny reminded them.

"I'm so sorry for my former city," Stella said, finishing her dinner.  She relaxed.  "Nice choices, guys."  They grinned at her.  "Who's going to the convention this time?"

"I am," Xander said, grinning over Don's shoulder at her.  "I'm going to the new spa and everything."

"What new spa?" Mac asked.

"It's one he leant some start-up costs to," Horatio said, scraping the bottom of his box to eat the last bite then he tossed the box into the trash.  "They do a lot of sensory deprivation so you have to focus on the enjoyment of what's going on.  I wasn't too sure about it at first but it was a good treat."  Xander beamed at him.  "I still have the passes I need to use."  Xander went back to snuggling.

"Like blacklights and neon tubes so they can work?" Frank asked.

"They have a room that does that," Xander agreed.  "The one I got for Horatio had him in padded cuffs and a blindfold, plus any music he wanted between treats."

"It was very soothing after I got used to it," Horatio agreed.  "It made me focus on my body.  They were very good about checking the padded cuffs.  I had enough room that I could get out of one side if I needed to.  They talked to me, were telling me things about themselves to make me feel at ease.  They do a few agents, officers, and kidnaped GHS now and then so they knew I'd be wary and made sure I was always comfortable.  That body scrub was excellent, Xander."  The boy grinned.  "Are you going?"

"Yup.  I'll be going this year.  If my boys can't go I'll make sure I'll be staying inside the hotel or with groups of others.  Greggy's going even if Tony can't."

"That's fine," Danny agreed.  "We don't mind you and Greg."  He stroked over his hair.  "You're sweaty?  Don was good."

Xander nodded.  "Very good."

"Thanks, guys," Don said happily.  He finished his dinner and made Xander eat his.  Even if he did  have to feed him now and then.  "Need spoiled?"  Xander nodded.  "We can do that this weekend if you want."  Xander beamed before digging in.  Adam and Ray stomped in.  "Morning."

"Not really," Ray said dryly.  He swatted Xander on the head.  "Feds wrote to us."

"Not my fault a terrorist wanted Tony," he defended.  He even pouted.

"No, it wasn't," Adam sighed, sitting down in the free chair.  "The FBI has decided to go with their plan to have one or two agents trained in each field office where we tend to congregate.  That way they're trained in how to deal with GHS emergency situations.  Like that one almost starting an orgy at a coffee house because he was so backed up he was leaking even when he was unhappy or Anthony's newest admirer from the terrorist community.  They have asked the society for help.  I referred the request to the board.  They weren't unhappy and suggested not every office needed one, just certain offices.  If the GHS in those other areas needed help they could call in support.  Since it has gotten through their system wonderfully."

"Greg said the General who was testing the cyborgs wants to make sure none of us ever join the service again," Xander told him.  "Especially since that one chased him around a research base with a sex toy ordering him to drop his pants so she could take care of his surge."  He ate another bite.  "I'm surprised they didn't have one before.  Since maybe the sixties or seventies."

"They've had a few agents who knew and dealt with it but with DiNozzo being in DC and New York having a new level nine that just got broken in two days ago, then went on a surge to beat yours," Ray said, "it got spread around.  Plus the cyborg thing."  That got a nod.

"They could give you guys your own country and it'd become the shopping mecca of the world, but you could protect yourselves," Ryan teased.  "Everyone checked when they come in to make sure they're not going to steal a resident.  All planes going out checked."

"I told the dweeb that tried to arrest me if he didn't leave me alone I was going to make the island my own country and store all the weapons I needed down there," Xander said dryly.  "We'd need more room for all of the members of GHS though."

"That would be one hedonistic vacation spot," Don said thoughtfully.  "It'd be the spa, food, and shopping capitol of the universe."

Xander nodded.  "But we'd need somewhere the size of at least Nevada to give us all the room we needed to roam and the varied environments of California so those of us who wanted snow could ski safely and things.  They could give us California if they wanted to."  He grinned at Adam, who had groaned.  "What?"

"Bad thought, Xander."

"Sorry.  I tried."

"I know you tried.  Try harder to be a good boy," Horatio ordered.  Xander just grinned at him too.  "We'd be a very liberal, tolerant country," he said, making Speed groan.  "Gay marriages welcome, trios welcome.  Anything but kidnaping and rape basically, and legalized drugs within certain limits.  You couldn't go over so many a week."

Adam looked at him.  "There's a few members who would hate that."

"Yes but plenty of members smoke pot now and then for their own weakening.  Nothing hard, like cocaine, but I can see minor amounts of pot with a firm limit every week.  A nice pharmacy tracking system?"

"That could help," Adam agreed.  "If we ever get  our own planet, we'll know how to set it up."

"Like Ares said, he already has people for when they show up," Discord called.

"Good to know," Xander said, looking up.  "They're not coming for me, right?"

"No, Xander."

"Thank you, Discord.  Want some stuff off the orchard?"

"No thanks.  Some of that black fruit wine though."  She appeared and he went to get her a bottle, kissing her on the cheek before handing it over. "Thanks."  She disappeared.

Xander sat back down.  "It's good that they're not coming for me."

"Very," Don said dryly, giving him a look.

"Or mine," Ray agreed, looking at his boyfriend Adam.

"I do try to keep myself out of harm's way," he said dryly.

"Yes you do try," Ryan agreed.  "Thanks for letting me handle that brat the other day.  Needed the exercise."  Xander looked over at him.  "We were out getting breakfast at the same place.  She pinged me and  not him.  She got huffy when I wouldn't take her head in the middle of a crowded coffee shop.  Pulled a sword and everything.  I walked off laughing at her.  She threw a holy fit in the parking lot.  Spoiled princess of an immie."

"Daddy had too much money?" Don asked.

"Clearly."

"Ah."  He stroked over Xander's hair, getting it tipped for him.  "Did you braid it?"

"While asleep."

"I can tell."  He got handed the brush by Ray Junior, giving a grin for it.  "Thanks."  He got it undone and brushed through it.  "It's growing.  We should ask Horatio to trim the ends again."

Horatio leaned over to pick up a strand to look at.  "It's not split.  If he doesn't mind it's fine to stay for now."  He let it go and leaned back again.

His nephew gave him an odd look.  "You play with Xander's hair too?"

"I'm the only one he trusts to cut it."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "I'm not growing my hair out that far."

"Me either.  I had princess hair and I looked dumb."  Speed swatted him.  "I did."

"You did," Speed agreed.  "I thought you wanted to forget having princess hair that feathered back just right."

"I do.  Simply telling the nephew it was possible."  He looked at Ray.  "No going past your shoulders until you're out of the house, Raymond."

"Yes, Uncle H.  Mom would freak."

"I know this neat hair growing spell," Xander offered.  "We could grow it out like mine, take a picture for your parents, then have it trimmed better again."  He grinned sweetly.  "Then she'd quit ignoring you."

"She is?" Horatio asked.

"Hasn't written back from my last email yet,"  Ray admitted.  "The neighbor said he's seen her and she's fine but she hasn't written in three weeks."

"Ah.  I'll have to nag her," Horatio said.  "She hasn't written me in nearly a month I think."  He smiled at Ray.  "You're better off up here anyway, Ray."

"I know."  He looked at Xander again.  "What were you working on that you wouldn't let me see?"

"Their date if they didn't smarten up and go out for some couple time."

"Can I see the plans?" Speed asked.

"No, then they couldn't be your birthday present."  He grinned sweetly.  "Then I'll have to go shopping to find you something else."

Speed shuddered.  "No going out alone, Xander."

"I'm fairly safe in Miami.  Horatio threatened all my poker buddies to make sure they weren't going to hurt me.  Ray's generally liked by all the poker buddies too.  They think they can corrupt him into being a normal guy instead of like me.  That's why I sent him to them."  Horatio gave him a look.  "Or uptight, like they think you are."

"I do not like that plan, Xander," Horatio said.

"But I get to watch over his shoulder so he knows which moves to make.  It lets me have some fun."

"You don't need that sort of fun," Frank reminded him.  "Last time nearly got you killed by the General."

"He's dead now and the Mala Noches still think I'm an okay guy.  They like Ray too.  Don't like Horatio at all but they do like Ray.  They think he's honorable and could understand them."

"I can most of the time," Ray agreed.  "Plus Jorge's a pretty good card shark.  He was teaching me how to deal funny the other night."  Horatio gave him a look.  "What?"

"He's on bail?"

"No, they decided he wasn't that violent so they let him out on early release."

"One year served out of ten for killing a drug dealer," Speed said.  "I love our system."

Ray Kowalski looked over.  "It was protested.  We did go protest on your behalf.  The judge hates you two and said he wasn't really violent, it had been a contract.  Better to give it to someone who'd do it again for bad reasons, like a serial person."  Horatio shook his head.  "The head guy's already trying to get her off the bench."

"Good," Ray agreed.  "Though, Jorge said hi, Xander."

"That's fine.  How is he?"

"Doing good.  His woman's still pure for him.  He thinks she's having a son soon to prove what a man he is.  The other Noches are looking at him like he's a young God."  He shrugged.  "He said it's all good, come play with him sometime soon.  That way he can win back the two grand he still owes you."

"We'll see if I can do that."

"NO!" everyone but Ray and Xander shouted.

"Xander, we're going to run another scan on that tumor," Horatio said blandly.  "Would you mind?"

"It hasn't grown.  I don't have headaches from it yet."

"We'd rather get it when it's small," Danny said.  "Less backed up stuff coming out at removal."  Xander shrugged.  "Good.  We'll ask Alexx ta do it in the morning."  He kissed him on the head.  "Need to wash that mess tonight."

"I know.  I will."  He got up to stretch.  "Let me shower off the sweaty stuff Don caused.  I'll be right back."  He went to do that.  It took him a good half an hour to do his hair alone but the rest went faster.  He came out to find Frank, Ryan, Eric, Ray, Adam, and Stella had went home.  "Are we all staying tonight?"

"Yup," Mac agreed.  "Horatio and Speed can head home with their nephew.  They have a good alarm system."

"I have a good alarm system," Xander complained.  "I never remember the code for it but I have one."  He grinned.  "We've got to find a code I can remember."

"Codes that aren't related to anything are safer," Don reminded him.

"But if it's not related I don't remember it."

"We'll figure something out," Danny promised.  He pulled him down, taking the brush to do his hair for him.  "No detangler?"

"No, we're out."

"We'll get you some tomorrow," Don said.  He looked back at him.  "You know, I checked your online stuff."  Xander blushed.  "It's good.  Real good, Xander.  Have you thought about submitting something longer to the porn stores?"

"You wanted me to at the store."

"Sounds like someone forgot and needs a bit worn out," Horatio said, standing up.  "Come on, boys.  Let's head home to play with our own pets."  The dog being petted by Speed gave him a pitiful look.  "You can have him back this weekend.  Get the master to pet you, Spots."  He  moved over and Don petted him instead.  "Night, boys."  They left together, Frank had brought Ray instead of having him drive himself over.

"Not a bad idea," Don teased.

"I'll be up in Ryan's room, boys," Mac said, heading up there.

"Ooh, pouncy party," Xander said, pouncing Don.  Don laughed, getting him back for the pounce.  They rolled around for a while then Danny hauled Xander off, walking him into the bedroom.  "But I got to pounce Don.  Horatio said so."

"You can pounce him once you're laid out prettily for us on the bed."  He gave him a nudge.  "Go make him wanna pounce you."  Xander gave him a wicked looking smirk and closed the door, going to arrange himself pleasingly on the bed.  Don came strolling in with a glass of water.  "Think you'll need it?"

"Do you remember the last time Xander played harem boy for us?" he countered.

"Not really.  I think I died about six times that night from my heart."  They listened, smiling at the noises going on.  Xander was going all out for them tonight.  "What're you working tomorrow?"

"Nine ta seven.  You?"

"Mid-shift."  They both smirked. That meant they could sleep in if they needed to.

"Okay," Xander called.  "You can come in now."

Danny opened the door, letting Don in first.  He had to catch the water when Don nearly dropped it.  The bed was done up with the white silk sheets.  Xander was in a white robe and nothing else.  His hair was partially braided but the last third was undone to fan out under him as a counterpoint to all the white.  Don swallowed, coming over to open their boy's robe.  He found his favorite jade cockring, the one that Xander could not get through, because some of them he could sometimes come anyway if he was desperate enough.  This one they had to remove for him.  Don stripped down and pounced.  It was a good pounce.  Danny pulled their watching chair over, sipping the water while he watched them wear each other out.  He'd get his turn soon enough.

***

Don walked in the next morning and collapsed at  his desk, head down, dying there.

Frank came over to check his pulse, shaking his head at Ray's curious look.  "Must've been a good night."  Don gasped as he came back, blinking at him.  "Good night?" he teased.

"Xander playing virginal bride," he moaned, putting his head back down.  "I'm gonna die now."

"You just did," Frank told him.  Don held up all five fingers of his right hand.  "Really?"  Don nodded.  "Does that count just now?"  Don shook his head slowly, going back to sleep, that hand thumping down to the desk again.  Frank snickered.  "Ray, do you get that?"

"Nope, my guy's not that high on the scale.  Though I am gonna get that plan from Xander."  He watched Danny wander and wobble past their row, heading for the break room.  "We should probably watch out for him."

"Nah, let Horatio do it."  He texted a message to Horatio.

Eric came down to find Danny sleeping against his locker.  He tapped him on the shoulder, only getting a grunt.  "Danny, work time," he called loudly.

"Shh."

"No, come on, time to wake up."

Danny blinked at him.  "Save me?"

"What did he do this time?" he asked dryly.

"White silk sheets.  White silk robe.  Cock ring.  Gods, I swear I died a few times when it was my turn with the pure thing."  He put his forehead back against the locker and fell back asleep right there.

Eric called Horatio.  "H, it's me.  Danny's out.  Not that way yet."  Oh, joy.  Don had died at his desk but no one noticed.  "He said white silk, a cock ring, and virginal playing Xander.  Yeah.  You guys left when last night?"  He nodded at the 'ten' answer.  It was nearly nine now.  "So in eleven hours...."  Horatio moaned, hanging up on him.  Eric patted Danny on the back, taking his spare lab coat to cover him for now.  One of the officers walked in and gave him an odd look.  "Too much Xander."

"Should I call ME Woods?"

"Nah, let him nap.  He needs a nap.  I'm not sure how they got to work this morning."  He walked off shaking his head, calling Xander.  "You can't keep Danny and Don from working, Xander."  He listened to him pout.  "They're both asleep.  Don's on his desk and Danny's against his locker.  Yes, you.  So quit.  Save that for days off and conventions."  He hung up, shaking his head as Speed walked in.  "Don passed on his desk?"

"Yup.  Frank watched him do it twice now.  Apparently virginal playing Xander was a good one.  Our necklaces are both warm at the moment from her."  He went to check on Danny, slamming his locker so he'd wake up.  "You better now?"

Danny let out a hysterical sounding laugh.  "No!  He ...."

Speed made him look at him.  "Is your brain rotten?"  Danny slowly shook his head.  "Did you switch bodies?  You sound like Ray Junior after his first time."  Danny swatted at him.  "Good!  Then get your ass up and let's go back to work, Messer."

"Yes, Speed."  He got up, handing Eric back his jacket when he saw the name on it.  He grabbed his own coat and went to process evidence.  Not like he could stand long enough to be in the field at the moment.

Speed went to have a talk with Xander.  He couldn't keep them from working by killing them with sex.  It wasn't allowed.  No matter what.  He couldn't do it to Horatio, Xander couldn't do it to his boys.  He found him tied to the bed with stretchy cords, giving him a look.  "Don or Danny?"

"Danny.  Said he'd pay me back tonight."

"He passed out at his locker, Xander."

"Not my fault!  I gave up and finally came at two!"

"Uh-huh."  He got him untied, letting him run to the bathroom, then tied him back down again.  "Behave.  They'll get home around seven."

"Yes, Speed."

"Good boy."  He smirked.  "What did you do so I can do it for Horatio?"

Xander pointed at the bed, then the robe, then lifted the cock ring with his toe.  "That."

"Ah, you played new bride Xander."  He nodded, heading out to make some of his own plans.  Horatio needed something stunning to make him not able to walk tomorrow....    Xander was a very good giver of ideas.

Feddies!

Xander looked at the weapons shop Horatio wanted him to use, then frowned.  "I have all these," he admitted.

"You're a gun collector?" the salesman asked respectfully.

He smiled.  "In my own defense.  People want to take me so I have to have some.  Unfortunately my boys hated my former artillery problem so I'm stuck rebuying stuff that got confiscated and handed over."  He pointed at the one he didn't have.  "Is that one any good?  I prefer this one," he said, tapping over the case.  "It fits better in my hand and it's weighted right for my wrists."

He let him hold that one, seeing the grimace.  "It's for concealed carry."

Xander looked then tapped over one.  "I use those for concealed carry."  He handed it back.  "Thanks for trying."  He walked out, heading to his poker circle.  He walked into Fu's and waved, heading for the back room.  He sat down at the table and pouted, tossing in money.  "I can't find what I want to up my artillery again.  Horatio was mean, they destroyed it while I was taken the last time."

"You had artillery?" Sonny asked, snorting some.

"They had to make a special dispo run for all his," one of the other guys said.  "He had a fuckin' warehouse full of weapons, Sonny."

Xander nodded.  "So no one would take my ass or I'd destroy them."

"You get to hide anything?" one of the other guys asked.

"No," he pouted.  "But someone nice did offer me a warhead earlier."  He shrugged.  "I'll find stuff.  Horatio wanted me to look at the gunshop on eighth but they only had handguns."

"A warhead?" Sonny demanded.  "Like for a rocket?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Pretty cheap too.  Only wanted to see why people wanted me.  So I danced for about ten minutes.  Got it and another case of AK's."  He shrugged.  Everyone gaped at him.  "It's the better assault rifle.  Has a good range, more useful in multiple situations, and even if you have to put it on automatic to take out everything in sight it's got a good clip."  He took his chips and his cards.  "Has Ray been playing nicely with you guys?"

"Your assistant's very nice," Sonny said dryly.  "Who is he?"

"Caine's nephew," one of them muttered.

"Ah, no wonder we don't talk around him."

Xander grinned.  "Someone has to keep me out of trouble and go around with me when I'm bored."

The dealer looked at him.  "This time, let's not hormone rich people shopping street, Xander?"

"I didn't the last time I went.  That was, like, four ago.  And Ray wasn't there then."  They all groaned.  "See, I'm trying to be good.  Even if I did make Don and Danny pass out at work the other day."  He looked at his cards, then at the dealer.  "Do we owe you money?"

"No, I wanted some of what I lost back."  The others laughed.  Xander shrugged and bowed out that round.  The next one the luck was back with him.  "So, Xander, why do guys want to keep you?  Beyond the hair and the hormones?"

Xander grinned.  "One of my trips out of Miami I learned a self defense style that includes sword work, dancing, and pure lust.  It's very me."  He put down a card, getting one back.  He hummed and put down a chip.  He grinned at him.  "I've caused spontaneous orgies with it," he said proudly.  Everyone gaped.  "At the last Vegas convention for GHS.  It was at the intro ceremony."

One guy nodded. "I've heard about that."  The other guys gaped at him.

Xander cackled.  "I've even done DVD's to help other members learn.  Because we could all use some self defense."

Sonny shuddered.  "Sorry, some of us are still straight."

"Yeah, I hear that a lot from the people trying to take me," he sighed.  The other guys laughed.

"Prove it," Sonny said.

Xander looked around then shrugged and went to get into his closet in the storage area.  He had one of them in his running away pack.  He waved the DVD for Fu's benefit, getting a grimace.  "Someone wanted to see."  He brought it back in and tossed it over.  "I want that back.  Don't copy it either."  He sat down, going back to his cards.

Sonny got up and put it into the room's DVD player, staring at the tv, watching him ...move.  "Damn you're flexible," he said after a few minutes.

"Yup.  My boys appreciate it," Xander said happily.

Sonny turned it off a few minutes later.  "I can see why some like it."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "You're the first one who hasn't responded with drool.  Even guys who don't have one have drooled."  Sonny snickered.  "We need to find out why so we can pass that around.  Mind if I take some blood for the chemist that works with the society?"

"We'll see."  Xander won that hand and most of the guys had to excuse themselves for a bathroom break.  He gave their backs a confused look.  "Like that?" he asked dryly.

"Everyone but you."

"Huh.  That is a skill."  He smirked.  "It's the New Yorker in me."

"No, I nearly sent a coffee shop up there into a frenzy by having coffee while spiked.  You don't react to it for the most part.  Except that first time.  Any idea?"

"Not a clue," he admitted.  He stood up when someone stomped in, hand going for his gun.  "Get away from him!  He's taken, you sick fuck!"

"FBI, junior, back down," he snarled, pulling Xander out by his hair.  Xander kindly kicked his ass for him.  He groaned.  "You shouldn't be here."

"You do *not* grab me by the hair," Xander snarled.  "I'm not the weak, helpless sort, even if the hair does make you think so."  He kicked him again.  "Guys, help me get him to the car please?"  They nodded, helping him get the guy to the car.  He smiled at the dealer.  "I'll be back in a few.  Hold my chips for me."  He walked around to drive them off, taking him back to the station.  Where he got out and calmly closed his door, walking around to get the groaning agent out of his car.  He grabbed him by the balls and squeezed, making him scream.  "Let's go," he snarled.  He walked him inside that way, waving at the receptionist.  "We'll be upstairs.  Horatio in?"

"No, sir, but Don is," she called after him.

"Thanks."  He gave him a shove into the elevator and followed, stabbing the correct button.  The guy tried to resist but he grabbed him again and drug him off the elevator crying.  He handed him to Don, shoving him really.  "Grabbed my ass by the hair without explanation.  Tried to walk my ass off.  Then told me I shouldn't be out of the house."   He glared at him.  "Learn manners," he said slowly and clearly, making him cry.  He looked at Don again.  "Interesting note.  Sonny and the guys watched a few minutes of one of the training DVD's and he didn't react."

"We've seen castrated guys react," Don said dryly.

"Yeah, so interesting note."  He shrugged.  "I'm pouting at the poker buddies about my missing weapons.  Have fun with him."  He stopped at the hand sanitizer dispenser and used it then went back to his poker game.  He walked into the restaurant, taking a new soda.  "Thanks, Fu."  He walked in.  "Sorry about him.   He was rude.  Don can have him next."  He grinned sweetly.  They all shuddered.

"So, weapons," Sonny said.  "Your boys gonna bust 'em?"

"Horatio said not while I'm buying and not for what I'm buying.  I'm going to try to keep them away from it.  Even though he wants oversight of my stash.  He's even helping me set up the new warehouse so it's better protected.  Who was that guy anyway?"

"One of the Crypts," one of the guys said.  He shrugged a bit.  "He thought he had hit a Christmas stash."

"Oooh, I forgot about the holidays.  I've got to figure out presents."  Xander shook his head quickly.  "I'll do that later.  Anyway, Horatio found him trying to get in the day Mac told him.  Pity."

"His people were amused that gay men had an arsenal in Miami," the dealer said smugly.

Xander gave him a serious look.  "It's for when the aliens come to kidnap me like the others have tried.  You can tell Gorer I said that."  He gaped.  Sonny cackled at that.  "Of course if more minor apocalypses should happen I'd let the proper people have one or two things to handle it.  Like if we're invaded or something by a lesser country."  Sonny fell onto the floor he was laughing so hard.  "I know, it's probably not going to happen but we have to be prepared just in case.  Like Homeland Security says, everyone should have a plan."

"I'll pass that note back," the dealer said, writing it down.  And the reaction too.  He put it into his pocket.  "What're you looking for, Xander?"

"Bangs.  Pretty bangs.  Sunnydale style bangs."  He grinned.  "I had rockets and launchers and grenades and 'splosives and all sorts of toys there before.  I want them back.  I'm willing to update since I still had the old style bazooka in there.  About ten of them if I remember right.  Single user, not vehicle mounted, makes a pretty mess and fireworks."

"I'll let some people know you're looking," he promised, smiling at Sonny.  "You in or not, Sassone?"

"Yeah, I'm in," he said, climbing back up.  "You gonna keep that warhead?"

"The scientist for the society is now with NCIS with his new pookie.  I'll give it to him.  That way I don't have to beat another Fed."

Sonny nodded.  "Probably reasonable.  Your boys could."

"Ah, but that would get me out of Miami for a while and let me do Christmas shopping in DC on my way to the convention in a few weeks."  He smirked evilly.  "It's in New York this year."

"I'll warn my remaining boys to lay low.  Manhattan?"  Xander nodded.  "Where?"

"I don't remember off the top of my head.  By the museum with the Egyptian stuff.  I remember that much.  Not near Don's old precinct."

"I'll pass along a warning to stay away from you guys."

"We stun pickpockets," Xander said happily.  "Spike and let them walk behind us to carry things.  I did in Vegas and the cops were very appreciative when others did too.  And hey, no carrying."

"Was Messer amused too?" he asked dryly.

"Very.  He said it was my evil streak of the day since I couldn't play baccarat at the time."  The others laughed.  "Anyway."  He looked at his hand then at the dealer.  "Did you flush these first?"

"Yup, just for you," he said happily.  "You remember to wash your hands after playing with the dirty pet?"

"Hand sanitzer dispensers at the station to hold down the flu."  They all nodded at that.  "He's dirty?  He's not one of the ones I know about."  A few of the guys nodded.  "Hmm.  To tell Don or not to tell Don....."

"His masters are pissed with him anyway," one guy said.  "I called in a report to a mutual contact.  They're really not happy."

"Not happy enough to give Horatio a job in the morning?"  He nodded. "Then I probably should, huh?  I hate ethics."

"Go ahead, we won't care," Sonny said.  "He was too well known anyway."  He snatched his phone and hit the number for Messer. "Yo, that Fed he brought in was dirty to about six different sorts.  All of whom aren't happy now."  He hung up and tossed it back.  "There, now no one can blame you."

Xander grinned.  "I'm sure you just raised his blood pressure so I'll get pounced later too.  Thank you!"  Sonny waved a hand, putting down his winning one.  Xander upped his luck switch and got into the next hand.  It was much nicer when he was winning.  Sonny never minded if he cleaned out his pockets for gas money.

***

Danny hung up his phone then went to find someone higher up.  "For some reason," he said loudly.  "Sonny Sassone just used Xander's phone to tell me that the Fed Xander brought in is dirty to about six people who aren't happy."  Frank went running to catch the guy.  They had just released him to his boss.

"Hmm.  Poker?" Don asked.

"Yeah, sounded like Fu's."

"He said he was pouting at the poker buddies about his weapons and the guy tried to walk him off by his hair."  Don stood up when the guy got brought back, his boss huffing behind him.  "It's amusing when a thug calls in from the poker game to turn your ass in as a dirty fed."

"Xander probably wobbled, thinking we'd be having a new scene tomorrow."  Danny looked at him. "You wanna spill or should I go down there and ask?"

"How would this thug know?" the local head agent sneered.

"He'd know.  He's a New York thug."

"How did he get your number?" the head agent asked.

"Used my boyfriend's phone.  Xander plays poker with 'im and a few others when he's bored or wants easy gas money."  The agent gaped.  Danny shrugged.  "He does."

"We've got to remember to get Alexx to scan for that brain tumor again," Frank complained.

"She said she'd do it Sunday for us," Don said happily.  He looked at the Fed.  "The allegation is enough to get your internal affairs department down on your ass.  If they're that unhappy someone told Xander, you're gonna be a pretty scene some morning soon.  You wanna squeal and maybe get some protection or not?"

"I don't need your kind to help me."

"Fine, sure.  You do it then," he said smugly.  He waved at Stetler since he was stomping their way.  "One of the thugs Xander plays poker with just called in to say this Fed is dirty to about six people."

"How does your boy find those games?" he demanded.

"He was playing lower stakes but they got tired of losing," Danny said happily.  "Manny Two Shoes introduced 'em."

Stetler shuddered.  "No wonder.  To whom is he dirty?"

"Don't know," Danny said.  He called Xander back.  "Stetler wants to know who he's dirty to."  He nodded, making a note and handing it over.  Then he wrote something else down.  "Sure, I can do that."  He hung up, weathering the horrified look. "Xander said he's not fully sure.  He's not one of the ones he knows about."  Don gaped at him and so did Frank.  Stetler gave him a horrified look.  "People tell Xander stuff, guys.  We all know that."

"Hell, maybe they bragged at a poker game," Frank said dryly.  "Who are we asking?"

"He said to ask Bookworm, his friend Jesse that does the electronics stuff."  He sent him an email from Don's computer, getting back a message fairly quickly.  "Oooh.  You take money from Xander's poker buddy, the Canadian.  And a few others."  He printed it out, handing it to Stetler.  "Here ya go.  Happy Christmas."

Stetler looked at the note he had been handed.  "How would he know?"

"How does Xander know anything, Stetler?" Don asked dryly.  Stetler sneered but drug the Fed off to book him and interrogate him.  "What was the note?" he asked once the other Fed had stomped off after a glare.

"Stetler's former girlfriend is out of jail and looking for him."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Interesting.  Ooh, he said something.  Sassone's not affected by one of the training DVD's."  Danny gave him a horrified look.  "He doesn't know why.  I remember he said it worked on him once."

"We need ta find out why," Danny said, walking off shaking his head.  "Maybe a stealth stealing of blood," he muttered.  Speed stopped him.  "Sassone's wasn't affected by a training DVD Xander had in his emergency kit at Fu's."

Speed blinked a few times.  "How?"

"I don't know.  Xander probably doesn't either."

"Huh," he said, thinking about that.  "We need blood."  He went to talk to Horatio about raiding his house so they could get blood.  They decided to text Xander first.  Xander sent back that he'd ask again.

***

Sonny walked up to the front desk of the lab, handing over two vials.  "Lieutenant Caine wanted those before he has to break inta my house to get 'em from me.  Make sure he gets 'em?"  She nodded slowly.  "Thanks."  He strolled off.  "Tell him it canceled me owing six grand and so he won't have to black ops me tonight."  He waved as he walked out the doors.

She was still staring when Eric walked in.  "Delko?"  He came back.  She handed it over.  "The guy you passed on the way out said Lieutenant Caine needed these and it canceled out him owing six grand.  Plus they wouldn't have to black ops him to get some later?"

He took them carefully.  There wasn't anything on the outsides. "Sure.  I'll let Horatio know.  Who was it?"

"Some guy with a strong New York accent."

He looked at the vial, noticing the small, typed S. Sassone on the side of one.  "Never mind.  We'll probably know why.  Thanks."  He walked back to the lab, going up to the office to hand them over.  "You were going to black ops someone's house so he handed them over and he said it canceled him owing six grand.  Why?"

"Because Mr. Sassone didn't react at all to one of the training DVD's Xander had in his bag at Fu's earlier," he said, looking at them.  "He walked in and handed them over?"

"To the receptionist."

"Hmm."  He nodded.  "Thank you, Eric."

"Sure.  Let us know, H.  I want to know how he resists."  He walked off, going to analyze the new samples he had taken from his last crime scene.

Horatio went to bundle one up, sending it to DC and Greg with a note.  The other he went to run every imaginable test on, starting with a drug screen.  If this got out, the people who kidnaped them could give it to their guards and they'd have a harder time getting themselves free.

***

Two days later Greg got the blood, he had been out of town on a case.  He looked at the note then frowned. "Someone found some way to be immune to us," he said.

"I want that blood," Gibbs ordered.  He handed it over.  "We'll be testing it.  Who does it belong to?"  He looked at the name on the vial.  "Sassone?"

"One of the thugs Xander plays poker with," he said quietly.  "We need to know too, Gibbs."

"You will."

"I'm thinking if that's true, some of the kidnapers could give whatever to their guards so we'd have a harder time getting free," Tony said.  Gibbs looked at him.  "They've tried everything else."

"I'll have it done under a hush order," he promised.  "Plus give Greg the raw data."  He got a nod.  "Thanks."  He called someone. "It's Gibbs.  Someone has an immunity.  Yeah to that.  Sanders wants the raw data and conclusions.  For the rest of them's protection in case it gets out, sir.  Exactly.  Can we?"  He nodded.  "I've got the single vial of blood here."

"Horatio sent it, ask him what he did first," Greg said.

"He said Caine sent it to him.  We can see what he did so far so we don't have to duplicate."  He nodded and hung up.  "Come on, you can help them run it."  Greg waved at Tony, heading off with him.  "Is he normally cooperative?"

"Danny's mortal enemy?  No.  He probably owed Xander money again."

Gibbs shook his head.  "We really hate him playing poker."

"He left me an email last night saying he was giving me one of his new presents.  That we'd better deal with it instead of him."

"Interesting.  Any idea what?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  They got into the car and headed off for one of the smaller, quiet research labs they had around DC.  When they got there he wrote down a name.  "That's who the blood belongs to.  He's one of Xander's poker buddies."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Did you get the email from Danny?"  He shook his head.  "Xander had to turn over a Feebie who grabbed him by the hair to pull him out of a poker game.  Turns out he was dirty, Sonny warned Danny while Xander considered the ethics of it, and we find out Xander knows who some of the other dirty ones down there are.  People like Xander so they tell him things."

"We need to debrief the kid again," he sighed.

"Ray too possibly since they're usually together when Ray's not in school."

"Caine's nephew?" he asked.  Greg nodded.  "He took over your trouble buddy spot?"

"More like I took over his when he was in Rio."

"Oh.  He's training him?"

"Ray's lower.  A lot lower."

"Half?"

"Just under."

"Good for him.  He'll get to be normal."

"Yup.  Horatio's happy too.  Ray keeps Xander from shopping himself poor."  They were let into a lab.  "Hi.  Greg Sanders," he told the nerdy looking woman meeting them.

"We've heard of you, sir.  What's going on?"

"We have the blood of someone who is immune to GHS," Gibbs told her.   He held it up.  "Caine sent it so he might've run tests on another sample."

"We'll call," she promised.

"I'm one of the main chemists for the society," Greg said.

"Happy to have you help prepare slides and samples, Sanders.  Come along.  Gibbs, there's a waiting area up the hall.  Don't destroy it."  She walked Greg off.  He gave her the phone number so she could call and get their results faxed up.  The military wanted more immunity too and she knew how to keep this quiet.

***

Xander walked into the poker game a few days later, handing something to Sonny.  "We need to handle the guy who sells that," he said, pointing at something.  "Before the kidnapers find out and give it to their guards.  It'll make it harder when we have to get free," he said quietly.

Sonny looked at him.  "Why should I?"

Xander grinned.  "Because if you sell it to a kidnaped and one of us stays caught or dies because of it, and someone finds out, they're going to sue you.  Besides, the Military was interested in it and that's a much higher paying job."

"There's some of you in the service?" he demanded, standing up.

"Six or seven that I know of," Xander said with a grin.  "Mostly consensual now.  A few had been forced but they got weeded out recently."

Sonny gaped.  "How in the hell?"

"Not a clue, man.  They wanted to go.  I don't know any of them personally.  Can we make a deal?"

He nodded slowly.  "Yeah, I can work that out," he decided.  "I was testing it anyway."

Xander grinned.  "Oh, by the way, they said to watch your salt intake. Your blood pressure's been high it looks like."

"You guys are better than my doc," he said dryly, smirking back.

"Well, yeah.  This is our safety we're thinking about, Sonny.  I destroy whatever tries to take me."

"Good point.  Who found it?"

"Greg and a chem lab in DC correlated it with what Horatio found in a few things.  By the way, too much exposure and it weakens your heart."

"Also good to know.  I'll talk to Caine if I can get him out of all the glass."

"Sure.  Or Gibbs if you're heading to DC.  He's at NCIS and he knows.  He's got my Greggy on his team."

Sonny just nodded. "Caine want it that way?"

"He just wants it out of his city."

"I can see that.  I'll call there."  Xander handed over a card, getting a smirk.  "DiNozzo?"

"On his team, his second-in-command.  Gibbs is a Marine.  Tony's a former cop.  Much more laid back."

"Sure, I can do that.  Thanks, Harris."

"Welcome.  I'm off to the convention with a stopover to see Greggy and Tony.  You guys have fun without me."  He went to get his running away bag of money and headed off.  "Later, Fu."

"Have a good convention, Xander."  He shook his head, looking at Sonny.  "There's those on the black market who would pay dearly for the formula."

"Yeah but if I do that he'll destroy me too."  He looked at him.  "I'm sure he's very creative."

"You should see some of his porn," one of the guys agreed.  "DiNozzo was the one who came to hide with Xander when he got his boss.  The one that his Greggy went home with."

"He did seem like a calm guy."  He considered it.  Certain destruction by Xander.  Probably down to burying his bits and pieces.  Or he could sell it out this time.  He shrugged, going to find his chemist and let him know.  He'd have to cap him and take all his research but oh well.  Then he could call DiNozzo after he had hidden the body.  Caine was good but there were still methods, even down here.

***

Xander smiled as Greg, Gibbs, and Tony pulled up in their SUV.  "Hey, we nearly match," he said happily, bouncing over to hug them.  "Hi!"  He hugged Tony.  "I gave Sassone your card."

"He called last night.  We're meeting in a few days.  What's this I heard that you know some dirty Feds?"

"I know some rumors about who owns someone and who they own," he offered.

"Can we know?" Greg asked with a grin.

"You heard half of them."

"I must've been watching you then."  Xander shrugged but nodded.  "Good, we'll get it over dinner.  What present did you get?"

"I have four of them and one I took because they weren't going to be using it in *my* city.  Horatio didn't know about the last one.  Please don't tell him?"

"Should he arrest them?" Gibbs asked patiently.

"Yeah but he's already got most of them.  He just doesn't know why."

"We'll tell him why," Gibbs told him.

"Fine."  Xander walked them around to the back of his stretch Range Rover, opening the trunk.  "The one on the bottom is some sort of warhead.  It doesn't have a payload so I'm not sure why.  He wanted to know why people wanted to kidnap me.  Ten minutes of dancing and I had that as a present and a few cases of AK's and some explosives."  Tony whimpered.  "The ones on top are another present from the same guy but I had to steal the one in the blue box.  I think that one has the chemicals in it to make it go boom but it doesn't have a timer."  He grinned at them.  "I'm being a good boy."

Gibbs looked at the blue box, blanching.  "Xander," he said calmly.  "That's the baseline for a nuclear dirty bomb."

"Really?"  He looked.  "Huh.  I would've expected it to be a bit more compact.  What's the white container?"

"Where the radioactive material would usually go."  He smacked him on the head.  "You should've handed that to Caine and told him."

"I thought they were normal bombs!" he defended.

"Fine," Gibbs said, calming himself down.  He checked, the others didn't have chemicals or radioactive material.  They put those in the back of their hummer then looked at the warhead, making him moan.  "This is a prototype."  He pulled out his phone.  "This is Gibbs.  A GHS member just handed over presents from Miami - a prototype warhead and five dirty bombs still in construction phases.  Yes, I'm there.  He's here.  Should.  One has radioactive material."  He hung up.  "Who was it?" he asked, dialing Horatio's number.

"Um... .not Horatio tonight.  They're on a date they've had to put off four times, Gibbs.  You can call Frank."  He took the phone and put in his number instead.  "Frank likes to hear about these things and he did help arrest them."

"Fine."  He hit send and listened to the grumpy voice.  "Tripp, Gibbs.  Harris just gave us five dirty bombs in construction and a warhead.  All from the same source.  He said you have most of them in custody.  Who, Xander?"

He took the phone.  "The guy who wanted to know why people kidnaped me, Frank.  Yeah, him.  Ray knows. You have most of his people.  I thought they were regular bombs," he complained.  "So I arranged for them to be arrested.  Yeah, that group that you got given.  No, don't bother Horatio!  He's finally out on that date.  Yeah, finally.  So I'll let you have it.  But think of the reward and what you can do for the wife, Frank."  He grinned.  "Sure, they've got to be bored since they couldn't come this time.  DC.  I did.  I drove them up and handed them right to Gibbs.  Only one has the stuff in it," he offered.  "I thought they were regular bombs and a warhead.  No, I didn't know it was a prototype.  Thanks, Frank."  He hung up and handed back the phone.  "He was still at his desk."

"Good."  He waved at the guys pulling in.  "Easy, gentlemen.  Two of those are my team and this is Mr. Harris, who received four of the five and the warhead as presents."  They were all scanned and the cars too.  The car needed to be sprayed to make sure it wasn't going to be radiating any further.  It was about the level of x-rays  "Don't we have sensors on the highway?" he asked one agent.   He nodded slowly.  "Xander, how did you get here?"

"It's on the map machine."  Tony went to pull it up, shaking his head. "There's sensors for that stuff?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Does Miami have them?"

"A few.  Not enough apparently.  Where were they working?"

"The docks."

"We'll make sure it's better covered, Mr. Harris.  You're with the PD down there?"

He grinned.  "No but my boyfriends are.  I gave them other reasons to arrest them."

"Good to know, sir."  He took the notes Tony made.  "You passed two sensors and it didn't pick them up.  We'll have to check on that.  Thank you for handing them over.  Why didn't you give them to Lieutenant Caine or someone?"

"I thought they were normal bombs.  I did have them arrested because he only gave me four out of the five bombs.  I wasn't going to let him use them on my city."

"Thank you, sir.  You did a good thing.  Your ties to NCIS?"

"Greggy, Tony, and I are buddies."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Can we pal around at the convention?"

"If I can spare them," he agreed.

"I need to report on what we found anyway," Greg reminded him.

"Fine, you drive up with Xander then, Sanders."

"I wanna go," Tony complained. The agents all stepped away from him.  "Yes, Xander's like me, guys."  They all nodded at that.  "Boss?"

"Fine.  Guard them."  That got a nod.  "And yourself."

"We'll be having a few agents who are in training for the special thought pattern needed at the same hotel, Gibbs.  You don't have to worry about it," the lead agent told him.

"Will he be like the dirty one in Miami that tried to grab me by my hair and walk me out of a poker game?" Xander asked.

"Um...  We hope not, sir.  Dirty Fed?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah.  Lots and lots dirty actually.  To six different people from what I was told."

"Interesting.  Do they know?"

"He was arrested."

"Huh.  We need to hear about that too."

"I want a list," Gibbs told him.  Xander pouted but took some paper from Tony to write down what he'd heard.  "And any other people planning on doing something like this in Miami."

"Do I have to give up the person who's going to be letting me use his poker debt to pay me back with stuff?"

"After that.  You can tell Caine about him," he decided.  Xander nodded.  "Put in any you hear from other cities too, Xander.  Since I know your contacts spread to New York and LA."

Xander sighed but did it for him, handing it over. "That's where rumors state.  The ones with stars I know are.  Oh, this one," he said, pointing.  "He was a cop in Sunnydale and dirty to the mayor, but now he's a Fed and still probably dirty.  He hates us.  Thought we were the real problem in town.  Tried to get the Feds to come arrest us for handling problems a few times."  He grinned and looked at Greg.  "Are we taking mine or yours?"

"We'll take ours.  You head up tonight?" Tony suggested.  "We've got to do some paperwork."

"I'm staying in town tonight so I can do some Christmas shopping.  I was going to leave about noon tomorrow."

"That'll work," Gibbs decided.  "I want you wearing GPS tonight, Xander."  He handed over the one from the car.  "Just in case.  Anytime you're in DC, turn that on.  Am I clear?"

Xander nodded. "Yes, Gibbs."  He put it on, letting Greg help him.  "You don't think they'll try tonight, right?"  Gibbs gave him a look.  "I'm going to be good.  Go to the spa, get a massage, watch a movie in a real theater, then tomorrow do some holiday shopping."

"Fine," Gibbs agreed.  "Wear it anyway, just in case.  As soon as you hit the Virginia border or Maryland coming home, kid."

"Yes, Gibbs."  He knew it was for his protection.  The same as he knew Horatio had one on both his cars and one inside his wallet.  Plus attached to most of his hair clips.  He gave him a hug.  "I'm downtown at the Ambassador."  He looked at the other Feds.  "We good?"

"We're fine, sir.  Have a good night and thank you for that."  He nodded, getting in to drive once the trunk was closed.  He waited until he left.  "Is he undercover?" he asked the three NCIS agents.

"High level GHS," Tony told him.  "Very high level GHS.  The warhead came from a guy who wanted to know why people wanted Xander.  He danced.  Ten minutes later he had the warhead."

"Though, Xander's originally from Sunnydale," Greg said.  "Out by LA.  So he's used to protecting others from behind the scenes.  He honestly didn't know what sort of bombs those were.  He's good to plastique and TNT, not harder bombs."

"Caine knows?"

"Yeah, that's the guy who babies Caine's lab," Greg said smugly.

"Oh!  I've heard about him!" one said.  Tony smirked and nodded.  The bad thought hit him suddenly.  "That's Harris!  The one from the Initiative files!"

"Oh, shit," his boss muttered.

Gibbs laughed.  "We feel the same way about them.  He's happily living in Miami with both boyfriends and some dogs, ferrets, and a baby dragon."  He smirked.  "Caine watches him very closely due to his problems."

"Yeah, last time he was on a poker binge he brought down the Miami Mala Noches and a major drug dealer with diplomatic immunity," Tony said dryly.  "Not to mention another sixty thugs, assassins, gang members, weapons dealers, drug dealers, and gear makers."  They all gaped.  "People tell Xander things.  If you piss him off, he puts the Sunnydale spin on your life.  Caine raided his files on who owed him money."  They shuddered.  "Exactly."  He looked at Greg.  "Paperwork?"

"Paperwork," he sighed.  Gibbs swatted them both.  "Yes, boss," he said.  He walked back to the SUV.  "I'm driving."

"Fat chance, Sanders," Gibbs ordered.  "If I'm in the car, I drive.  Unless I'm injured."  He pointed back at the SUV.  "Harris is the one who bought those two their version of his car."

"I noticed the back of his had limo style seats."

"That's so he can carry everyone.  He went practical with ours," Tony said with a wicked smirk.  "Including spare guns and armor in the back."   They walked off shaking their heads, taking the things to be destroyed.  "Hey, boss, who's going to be responsible for finding out who leaked the warhead?"

"Someone at the Pentagon.  Thankfully."  He got in to drive, putting his coffee in the cup holder.  Tony got shotgun and Greg stretched out in the back.  "Comfy?"

"Thinking how I'm going to report this to the board," he admitted. "It's not going to make some people happy."

"That's why we're confiscating it," Tony reminded him.  "And the formula."

"Sonny's not a chemist.  He's a thug."

"I heard from Caine that he capped his chemist," Gibbs admitted.  "He wanted that formula in good hands anyway.  They're trying to prove it was Sassone who capped him.  If so we'll see Taylor up to arrest him.  Apparently Mac enjoys it."  He put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot, heading back to the office so they could do the reports they'd need to do.  Not that someone wouldn't have a headache over this one.  They would and a lot of antacid too.

***

Xander looked up as he shopped the next morning, smiling at the agent coming over to him.  "Yes, Agent..."

"Edgerton, sir.  Are you Mr. Harris."

"Yup."  He held something up.  "Think my boyfriend would like it?  He's a CSI?"

That was a strange question to test him.  He'd heard good things about the kid so far.  He looked at the bag.  "It's not big enough to be practical and it looks like a purse."

"Good point.  Danny wouldn't like that."  He put it back and moved on.  "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here to go to the convention with you, sir."  Xander gave him a look.  "I'm often sent on retrieval situations."  Xander stopped to stare at him.  "I'm a sniper."

"Oh!  Have you talked to Paul?  He's over that."

"I wanted you to introduce me."

"Sure, I can do that.  A lot of members aren't really sure about the plan the FBI has, even though it's for our own protection."

"I know.  It's being pared down to major cities having one.  New York, LA, Miami, a few others."

"They'll like that.  Are you going to report to the board as well?"

"The agent over it is.  He's out of the LA office.  You'll get to meet him then."

"Okay.  My car has plenty of napping room."

He looked at him.  "You didn't ask to see my ID."

"Tony called earlier to tell me you were coming, described you, read your dossier to me."  He grinned. "Besides, I have a very good bad shit meter after Sunnydale.  Like the guy in the blue trench coat has weapons."  He walked on, finding something larger.  "This one?"

"How many pockets does it have?"

Xander counted.  "That might be good.  If not, maybe I'll give it to Eric for when he goes diving."  He hung it on his arm and moved on, finding something else that he'd give to someone.  The guy with the gun pulled it out and Xander looked at him. "Do you mind?"

"I want your money," he sneered.

"Dear, I'm heading for a convention.  Of course I'm on plastic."  The man pointed the gun at him.  He carefully handed the bags to Edgerton then kicked his ass.  He squatted down next to him, staring at him.  "I've seen tougher gay men, like me," he said with a grin.  "Now, are you done?"  He nodded, whimpering some. "Good.  I'm sure you'll learn to love the gay sex.  Just like I do."  He patted him on the head.  "Be a good boy and empty your pockets for me, baby.  Before I have to be *mean*."  He did it, taking off his coat too.  "Thank you.  Good boy."  He stood up and took the bags back, going to pay for them.  "These please."  She nodded.  "Don't worry about wrapping.  They're going as part of my Christmas presents."  She smiled and nodded, taking his card to run.  It declined.  "I hate when Steve does that."  He went to the car and came back with another one and cash.  "This is the second convention."  She ran that one and it declined.  "What are you doing to my cards!"  He listened.  Then he snickered.  "And the reason is?"

He nodded.  "Thanks."  He hung up, paying in cash.  "Idiot bank is in brownout.  That's why it won't run.  Apparently half of Miami is."  She handed him the bag.  "Thank you."  He walked over the guy, waving at him.  "Have a better day, dear."  He walked out to the car, getting in to call down there.  "Are my pets all right?"  He smiled.  "I knew you were going to be fine, Don.  Is everyone else and the babies all right?"  He grinned. "That's good.  No, my cards declined.  Steve told me.  Anything I can do to help?"  He listened to the description of what had tried to eat the nuclear station.  "The green thing in the safe at the house.  That safe, yeah.  Throw it onto it then a wire to ground the sucker.  That'll work.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They'll fix it soon enough," he told the agent.  "I'm going to hit one more store, NCIS to check on Gibbs and them, then head if you needed to grab some things."

"I've got my bag in my car up the street at the parking garage."  Xander pouted.  "Don't worry, I park it there all the time."  He nodded.  "Good enough?"

"If you want to help me shop."

"I think I should just in case."  He pointed inside for the cops.  "The guy crying on the ground about having to have gay sex.  He was beaten by a customer."  He walked back to get his bag, finding him reading in the car.  He climbed in.  "This is nice."

Xander grinned.  "I wanted to be a bit hipper so I bought this and some bling."  He put the car in gear and unparked, heading off to his next store.  He loved jewelry stores.  The agent followed him. "Hi."

"Sir, is that a monitoring bracelet?"

"No one wants me to be kidnaped while I'm up here."  He grinned, putting down his card.  His GHS membership card.  The man moaned, starting to drool.  "I need pretty things for the holidays for my babies and my friends, plus maybe some more bling for myself."

"Of course, sir.  Let's go to the private room."  He led him back there, getting them some water and let them see whatever they wanted.  Xander and the agent had to argue a bit over who got the bag of money from the car but the agent won on security concerns.

Edgerton walked it back inside the store.  "Where did you get this?"

Xander grinned.  "Poker money."  He paid the nice man, watching him drool.  "Thank you for your help."

"You're welcome, sir.  Which way are you heading?  Are you new in town?"

"I live in Miami but I'm passing through on the way to the convention."

"DC could host one of those. We do have some very nice shopping."

"I'll suggest it to the national president."  He winked then leaned over to kiss him on the forehead.  "Thank you for your help."  He picked up the three bags and headed out with Ian carrying the money.  "I can do that."

"I'd rather.  Just in case."  He watched as Xander stowed things in one of the flaps in the back.  "That's a nice feature."

"Emergency compartments."  He answered his phone. "It's me.  Is it fixed?"  He beamed.  "I'm glad it worked.  How did the date go, Speed?"  He laughed.  "Good!  That's why we called Frank.  Well, yeah.  It'd been put off four times.  You were both frustrated.  Besides you had most of them in custody anyway."  He laughed.  "We love you too.  Leaving DC in a few hours.  There's an agent here to make sure I'm okay and Gibbs put me in GPS.  Bracelet.  Big, huge, ugly thing.  Yup, one of those.  Sure, I'm being good.  Doing some holiday shopping.  Do you want anything specific?"  He smiled at the answer.  "I can do that," he said happily.  "Sure.  You be good.  Let me know when the bank's back online so I can use my cards again.  Going to see Tony and Greggy for lunch then we're heading together.  Yup, love you too.  Nighters."  He hung up.  "Speed."  He closed the tailgate and walked around to drive.  "They worry because terrorists gave one of the ones up here something to have him."

Ian got into the SUV looking at him. "Huh?"

"You didn't hear about that?  I'll let Gibbs tell you."  He called him while he waited for traffic to move.  "It's me.  If I can ever get out of the parking space I'm coming your way to pick up my boys and have lunch.  Yup, he's here."  He handed over the phone. "Gibbs.  Tell me where I'm going.  I've only been there once."

"Sure."  He listened to the voice on the other end.  "Edgerton, FBI.  Yeah, that one."  He smiled.  "I heard he got warned.  No, waiting on traffic."  He nudged him and pointed at the cop car.  Xander waved and the cop gave him a dirty look but helped him pull out.  "Okay, we're heading.  Office?"  He nodded.  "Terrorists?"  He heard the groan and the short explanation.  "He said one locally, Gibbs."  He just nodded at that.  "I'll look it up tonight then.  I'm assigned to ride up with him, Gibbs.  Yeah, that's fine.  We can do that.  Safer anyway."  He hung up.  "They're at the office.  Gibbs needs you to sign a statement."  Xander nodded at that, driving along.  "Go east."  Xander did that.  "Now, get onto the highway."  Xander pulled that way.  "Good job.  This thing turns very well."

"Power steering.  Horatio said it's got a worse turning radius than a hummer but it makes him feel powerful driving it."

"I'm sure it does."  He watched him drive.  It was a nice car.  Very nicely set up.  He checked the features, turning on the undercarriage camera.  "Hey, Xander.  Maybe we should pull off for a minute?"  Xander shrugged and did that so he got out and looked at the body clinging to the underside of the car.  "Get out from under there."  The kid wiggled over and got out, giving him a sniffling, hurt look.  "You local?"  He nodded.  "We're going to drop you with the Feds we're going to see.  They can figure out what to do with you."  He got him into the back and sat back there.  "I didn't see any others."  Xander switched the view then nodded, pulling off again. "Take the one for the shipyards."

"Okay."  He did that when the exit signs came up.   He smiled at the guards at the base's perimeter.  "Hi.  I'm in to see Gibbs, DiNozzo, and Sanders please," he said happily.

"Yes, sir, can I see your ID?"  He handed it over.  He shuddered and handed it back.  "I meant your state ID, sir."

"Oops.  Had that out at the jewelry store."  He handed it over.

"Can we check your car, sir?"

"Go ahead.  Agent Edgerton has the kid he found underneath in the back waiting to hand him to Gibbs too."

"Sure, we can handle that for you, sir."  He checked the car, frowning at the pockets in the back.  He found one with guns.  "Um..."

"It's allowed," Edgerton said, showing his badge.  "It's for his protection."

"I'm the one who gave Tony and Greggy their version of my SUV," he said with a happy grin.

"I've seen it, sir.  It's very nice."  He looked at the kid.  "Want us to call someone for you, Agent Edgerton?"

"Sure."  He handed him over.  "He climbed into a hollow in the undercarriage.  I saw him on the Beltway."

"Ah.  That's fine then."  He walked the kid off.  "Go ahead, Mr. Harris."  He nodded, letting him drive on.  He called the base's MP's.  "An FBI agent just handed over the kid he found on the undercarriage of the SUV he was in.  At the gate.  Please."  He hung up and went to stop and check the next car.

Edgerton walked Xander to reception, getting them signed in and upstairs.  "It's been a while since I've been in here."

"I've only been here the once for present delivery."  He hugged Gibbs. "Hi again."

"Get off," he said but he was smiling.  He let him have the statement.  "If that's right, sign it.  If not, let McGee fix it."  He looked at the agent.  "You sure you can handle all three of them?"

"It'll be fine.  He has plenty of guns in the back."

"Good to know.  How did they solve the Miami brownout?"

"They threw the green powder in the safe on the thing causing it then grounded it," Xander said happily.  He grinned.  "If I had been there I would've done it right away but no one told me it was a demon trying to eat the power plant."

"At least we know how to do it now," Tony said from his desk.  "Is there a classification manual?"

"Yeah, three or four.  Plus what the Initiative got wrong."

"Thanks," Gibbs said.  One agent came over to stare at them.  "What?" he asked.

"I heard a project's name muttered."

Xander looked at him.  "I remember shooting you.   They didn't put you in jail?"  He ran off.  "Pity.  Can I help someone fix that for you?" he called after him.  "Fucking pissant extraction team member," he muttered, finishing reading then looking at him.  "You misspelled my name."  McGee opened it up, letting him get in there to write how it had happened, from the beginning.  That way someone would complain to Gibbs about it instead of him.  He let him see it, proof read it, then nod and print it, letting him sign it.  "There you go," he said, handing it back.  "Can we have Greggy and Tony now?"

"Fine," he said.  "Go, boys.  Be back Tuesday morning."  They nodded, grabbing their things and heading out with them.  He stopped Edgerton.  "He's hyper, he's got an expediency switch, and he's always this bouncy.  He's also confused when he's backed up."

"They turn into scatterbrained fairies," McGee told him. That got a nod and Ian went down on the next elevator.  "Boss, when does Kate get back?"

"Three days, McGee. She can pick on DiNozzo for being so relaxed the day she gets back.  Did he write a decent report?"

"It's very... literal with details."  He handed it over.  "Greg's last email from Don said that he's wanting Xander to publish some of his writing."

Gibbs looked at him.  "Fantasy?"

"Only for some people, boss."

"Oh."  He shook his head.  "Any good?"

"I looked him up.  His writing style isn't bad.  Drew me in and I'm not gay."

"Then maybe he'll write real stories some day soon.  Close out that file."

"I need Tony's report."  He moved to his desk, finding it open and mid spell check.  He smiled, finishing it up.  When it was done he printed it and handed it over.  "The last one."  He logged him off, then checked Greg's system.  It was down too.  "All done.  Now what?  Cold cases or lunch?"

"Hit lunch, McGee."  He grabbed his personal laptop and headed off to lunch.  Gibbs read the report.  Then he sighed and went to fax it to Caine.  They needed a better guard on the kid down there.

***

Ryan grabbed the fax the receptionist was holding out.  "Important or information?"

"A report from NCIS about Xander, sir."

"Oh, good.  We've been waiting on this."  She gave him a look.  "Someone gave him an experimental warhead as a present.  He went to hand it to them on the way to the convention."  She just nodded while he walked off reading.  He snickered at a few bits.  He walked off on the detective's floor since they had a meeting in the break room to eat.  He walked in and waved it.  "Gibbs sent a report about the five bombs and the warhead.  One had materials in it.  Our sensors don't work.  Neither do theirs."  Horatio snatched it to read.

Don leaned over.  "Xander wrote it.  I can tell that much from the first paragraph."

Horatio finished it then reread it quickly before handing it over.  "Why didn't he tell me?"

"He said he thought they were normal bombs and he had to hand in the warhead anyway," Danny said.  "Tony and Gibbs told him they were in the construction phase of being dirty bombs.  He did take the last one, that way they couldn't use them in his city.  He arranged for you and Frank to find reasons for the rest of them to be arrested."

Frank snatched it from Don's hand, getting it snatched back but Don handed it over when he was done.  He looked it over. "This means I can add a charge to one of them."  The others got it.  "Spanking?" he suggested.

"He'll pout.  He was being good," Don reminded him. "Even if his poker buddies heard about the warhead instead of us.  He was trying hard to protect us."

"Can we go search for more files?" Speed asked, taking it to read.  When he was done he got the bottle of antacids, putting them in the middle of the table.  "Is he going to be okay on his own?"

"The FBI sent an agent with him as of this morning," Danny said happily.  "One of the snipers who's used to retrieval situations."

"Good!" Speed said sarcastically, eating a bite of his salad.  He took another one.

"Greg and Tony are convoying with him," Don assured him. "He's got the SUV.  So do they."

"I'm sure the agent's fond of the car," Horatio said, taking his own antacid.  "How many more are we missing, Frank?"

"Two.  They're out on bail and we haven't seen them yet.  There's an arrest on sight warrant out for them both."  The chief stomped in so he handed over the report.  Then he looked at them.  "Think he knows about any others?"

"I think if he did we'd get given them too," Horatio admitted.  "Like we did these."

"That tumor of his?" the Chief demanded.

"Miniscule," Danny said grimly.  "Still very tiny and not affecting anything.  The new hobby's not enough."

"He did add onto that one story and submit it," Don offered.  "He started on a new one thanks to a Xena ep.  It's got a centaur, a teacher, and a mage."

Speed shook his head, taking another antacid.  Horatio gave his thigh a squeeze.  "Just the thought."

"No, he and Strife were watching them," Danny admitted.  "Xander pointed out when she banged Ares she should've been walking funny, if unable to walk at all the next morning.  He said Ares clearly wasn't trying."

"No, he doesn't know from personal experience that I know of," Ryan said dryly.  He took his own antacid.  "Chief?" he offered with a grin.  He took one and stomped off with the report.  "At least Xander let us arrest them so they couldn't go through with their plans.  Would we have found their plans if we had searched deeper?"  Frank shook his head.  "We sure?"

"Yeah, what we arrested them on wasn't something to dig about."  The Chief came back with a stack of papers and put them down.  "Other wanted guys?"

"FBI watch lists and the Homeland watch lists.  Have him find them since we can't."  He walked off again.

"Yeah, sure," Speed said, taking them to look at.  He sorted out six of them from the first set.  Another ten from the other.  "Poker buddies."  Don took them to flip through, putting one down.  "No?"

"Dead last week.  Sonny's chemist."  He kept going.  "We should show Ray Junior the rest, see if he knows them."

"We'll see if Ray Junior can help us trap them," Horatio said, taking them.  "Ah, the one who had his car towed home when it blew a tire."  He shuddered and kept going.  Then he went to the rest of the list.  He put a few more into the pile.  "New ones we've seen at the poker games."  He looked at Danny.  "Spanking?" he suggested.

"Did it help when you did it over the weapons?"

"No," he admitted.  He called Mac.  "Bring my nephew and your team here, Mac.  Because we're involved and can't do it ourselves.  Besides, we're under scrutiny thanks to the terrorists Xander helped us bust."  He hung up on the moan.

Speed texted 'we have antacids for you' to Stella, showing it to his husband, who swatted him gently.  They went back to their lunches until Mac got there.

Horatio looked at his nephew, handing over the larger stack. "Pick out all of yours and Xander's poker buddies in there please."

He shrugged and sat down to do that, finding a few more.  "They're only at the one on the docks."  He found one other.  "I know him."  He handed it over.  "I've seen him around here I think."

Horatio looked then handed it to Frank. "It's Rick's apprentice paranoid person."

"He's going to kill us.  Want SWAT?" he asked with a grin.

"No, Frank.  Let's do the raid ourselves."  Frank nodded, planning it out for when they'd both be at the office before the end of the day.  He handed his nephew the smaller stack.  "These are all still on the poker circuit?"

He pulled out three of them.  "Dead or in jail."  He found another one.  "Again, saw him here."  He handed it back, putting it with his other ones.  "Why are they wanted?"

"Homeland and FBI watch lists," Don said happily.  "We're paddling both of you."

"Then give Xander something else to do, Don."  He got up.  "Want me to call a game or what?"

"I want when, where, and how often you see them," Mac ordered.  "We'll start surveillance.  We have them on most games."

"Sure," Ray sighed, getting some paper to do that.  Plus if he knew what they did.

Mac smiled.  "I heard about the terrorist plot."

"Remember those guys Xander gave us for annoying him?" Frank said.  Mac nodded slowly.  "Them.  We found out last night that they gave him a warhead and four dirty bombs in construction but Xander took the fifth so they couldn't use it in Miami."

Mac groaned.  "Again!"

"It's miniscule," Danny told him.  "He's just bored."

"Can't you knock him up or make him adopt or something?" Stella demanded.

"Then he'd corrupt a new generation," Speed pointed out.

"No, that's me," Ray said with a grin.  "Does this mean I can't take the letter of recommendation to Columbia from the guy who went to Harvard and is now running a gear shop?"  He handed his notes to Mac, looking at his uncle, who shook his head.  "He offered because he said it'd make you happy to have Caines back in New York again."

"Is he on the list?" Ryan asked.

"No.  He's a nice guy."

"Who?" Horatio asked calmly.

"Brian Dempsy.  Said you two used to know each other when you were in college."   Horatio blushed at that, coughing a bit.  "Ah.  So he wants you back?"

"If he's the one I'm thinking of, I had him arrested for stalking," he admitted.  Speed looked at him, looking patient.  "Some truly awful poetry, Speed.  Plus some flowers and a few other gifts."

"He told me he saw Uncle H in a bar and fell in love after buying him a drink," Ray told them.

Don snickered.  "What level starts that?"

"Yours," Speed said dryly.

"Nah, they want me for my tight ass."  Danny tried to swat him but he was too far away.  He stuck his tongue out.

"Ryan, please?" Speed asked.  Ryan swatted Don for them. "Any we should know?"

"He only had one with a restraining order," Mac told them.  "She died a few years back in a car crash."  He finished reading over the notes.  "I'll handle this so you don't have to see Feds, Horatio.  Ray, no more poker for a while."

"It'll look odd.  They're supposed to be watching out for me while Xander's gone so Danny and Don, plus my uncles can have snuggling time.  Xander said so."

"We get plenty with you in the house," Horatio assured him.

"He said you didn't and he's the expert in that stuff.  I'm only learning at his knee."  He stood up.  "I'm also supposed to be going to the auction today for him.  Anyone object?"

"What auction?" Danny demanded.  "We don't need more stuff."

"Some of your stuff that you didn't want," he told him.  "The stuff from the closets."  He strolled out, giving the Chief a pat on the arm.  "It'll be okay, sir.  There were only twelve that I know of in the poker circles."

He groaned. "Twelve!  Out of thirty?"

"Yeah.  Could be worse.  The rest are thought to be heading for New York or LA."  He grinned and walked off.  "They gave it to Mac, sir."

"Thank you, Raymond."  He went back in there.  "Twelve?"  Mac handed over the notes.  "Don't we have surveillance on them?"

"Most of the games," Horatio agreed calmly.  "Though none of them told me my nephew was going for Xander."

"Taylor, take over the surveillance detail.  You have sense and know what you're doing.  Apparently I need to fire some people."  Frank handed him a sheet.  "Isn't he..."

"Stetler's shadow, yes, sir," Frank agreed happily.  "We're getting him today."

"Good."  He handed it back and walked off to take something for his headache.  Then he went to bitch out someone for not doing surveillance correctly.  The labs didn't need to do two or more departments' jobs as well as their own.  It led to overtime!  Thankfully, Taylor and Caine picked good people who could handle it for them.  Now if only they could hire a secretary.  Each.  He'd have to check their budgets so their forms quit getting in late.

***

Xander bounced up to someone he knew.  "I'm back!" he squealed, giving her a hug.  A few other GHS squealed too.  It was good to be back in the fold.

Fed'd-Up With Desire.

The head of the new FBI unit looked at the people gathered in the meeting room of the hotel, frowning some.  "BAU sent someone?"

"Some of us felt that these people would end up on our caseload, if they already haven't.  From what I've heard they're often taken and some of the reasons are probably close to what we see daily," the young guy in the sweater vest and glasses said quietly.  "Besides that, what sort of profiler would I be if I couldn't understand this urge as well?  It's a fundamental urge to mankind, it's simply exaggerated in these people."

"Actually, it's a hormone condition," he said grimly.  He looked over as someone came in.  "Has the board agreed?"

"They have although a few had questions.  Including why you're wiretapping Mr. Harris."

"We are?"

One of the agents got into a sealed file, looking at something.  "Six years now," he said.  "He's listed as possible terrorist activity in his past."  He let his boss see.

"Six years," Adam mused, thinking back.  "That was before graduation.  Were you doing his family or was it another cause?"

"According to the file, it says someone tipped the LA office off," he said, looking at him.  "Then they noticed things and it's been inconsistent since then.  It says he's in New York?"

"This weekend.  He lives in Miami near me most usually."

One guy put his feet on the floor and sat up. "I know that name.  He was with that huge mess of a slave auction."

"He had been taken," Adam agreed.  The others gaped.  "Along with a few other members and members of the police department in Miami that he considers family.   The," he coughed, "mess is because Mr. Harris managed to save himself and a great number of others. In the old days he would've been known as a berserker," he told the agent, who shuddered.  "Mr. Harris is from Sunnydale...."

He held up a hand.  "Enough said with that.  I've had to investigate things up there.  No more.  Please!"  The others looked at him. "It's one of those places where no one knows *anything* but everything has a strange undercurrent.  Like a town full of steppford people.  No one sees anything, even if it happens in front of them.  Harris was part of that?"

"He worked with Miss Summers during high school and right afterward until a road trip taken after they brought down an unfortunate government project," Adam said dryly.

"Oh, we know about them," Gibbs assured him from his seat.  "He sent one running into traffic in my office so I looked to see why."

Adam gave him a smug look.  "His usual answer is 'you're welcome'."

"I'll get onto a higher up about this wire tapping."

"It might be a decent idea to have the people from Miami keep a subtle eye on him," Gibbs offered.  "Xander tends to do some of the damndest things.  Like hand us a warhead that was a present recently.  And five dirty bombs in construction.  Only one with materials included and the sensors didn't pick them up.  Oh, tell him to have his SUV cleaned again, just in case it's still radiating on the x-ray level."  Adam nodded so he sipped his coffee.  "We sprayed but you never know.  Especially if the road sensors work."

Adam looked at the agent he knew was in Miami.  "Xander does seem to pop up in the oddest places.  Then again, his family are police officers so they do tend to watch out for him."

"I'll be sure to go to him first if we get another thing eating the power plant," he said grimly.  "First.  Before we try shooting it."

"I don't know why we didn't think to call him last time," Adam admitted.  He looked around.  "Are we all FBI?"

"BAU," that one said, raising his hand.  "Have we had to deal with your people before?"

"Gloria Granois was referred to your unit if I remember right.  No others come off the top of my head."

He thought back.  "She was referred about my first month there.  I did part of the analysis myself.  It came up being someone who was stalking her and captured her because he wanted her to marry him even though she was married.  The agent in charge said he had an idea and took it back."

"Yes, they got there in time to stop the want-to-be cult leader from 'remarrying' her to himself and he killed them both," Adam said, sighing a bit at the end.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said honestly.

"So we've been dealing with the edges of this group for years?" the guy from LA asked.  Edgerton walked in and flopped down.  "Finally?"

He lifted his head.  "I have *never* seen someone so bouncy and hyper before.  Never!  And then he ate more chocolate to get even more bouncy!"

"They're like that when they start to back up," Gibbs said wisely.  "Then they start getting a bit confused, their attention splits, and it's either they release it or you beat the shit out of them for it.  My boys?"

"With him, walked him into a room and let him go."  He shook his head.  "How do you deal with *two* of them?"

"They're together," he said dryly.  "Either one gets that bad, I send them off for ten minutes.  They both come back more focused."  He took another drink.  "So, we're going to get information?  I still have questions even after Ducky and DiNozzo told me stuff."

"That's the first point I would bring up," Adam said. "If you talk about us in public, there is a ninety-four-point-seven-six-three percent chance we'll be kidnaped."  The LA agent groaned.  "Problems?"

"You guys have my brother as a member?"

"Charlie is your brother?"

"Younger, yeah."

Adam smirked.  "He knew a delightful paired set back in college.  He worked out the probability formula for individual members to be kidnaped.  Tell him I said hello."

"I will.  So he knows?"

"Has known.  He helped when she went out of control.  She's here this weekend I do believe.  I'll introduce you."  He looked at the group.  "Talking about us in any public forum - coffee shops, the office, anywhere - can get us taken, gentlemen.  No female agents?"

"A few were invited and declined."

"There are females within the group," Adam told him.

"I'll be instructing one in my office," the Miami one said.  "How is Mr. Harris?"

"Bouncy," Edgerton said.  "I got sicced on him in DC and rode up with him.  He's very bouncy."

"That's normal then.  Is he giving another dance demonstration?"

"He and DiNozzo are doing the self-defense panel," Gibbs told him.  "Including that."  He poured himself some more coffee.  "Sixteen hundreds?"

"Yes, the group was started in the sixteen hundreds by some concubines that had no idea why they were the favored ones over ones who were prettier, smarter, better at politics, better in the bedroom than the others.  They started to correspond when a few met during trips and wars.  Then they met others.  It started out as companionship in our shared plight.  It became a fraternity of sorts for those who share the same hormone condition."  He looked around the table. "For those who do not know, all GHS members are marked by having a higher than average pheromone output along with a few other bodily chemicals.  We have our own research panel.  Gibbs' younger team member is on it and giving a report today?"

"Xander found someone immune."  Adam stiffened.  "We found out what drug he was taking.  Sassone is turning it all over to me.  Formula, stash, and all.  He did say he wanted a bit for his own personal use for card games."

"The family in Miami would like to beat him for still playing poker with the underground," Adam said dryly.  He looked around the room.  "That formula will not be getting out in case those who want us use it on their guards."

"No, it won't," Gibbs agreed.  "My higher ups and the higher ups at the Pentagon are hiding it."

"Thank you."  He looked around again.  "Since the late eighteen hundreds we've had ways of testing for members.  A simple 'drop things into blood' sort of test.  We rate ourselves by levels.  One to ten.  Ten technically has no upper boundary but they can vary in strength a bit.  Mr. Harris is our strongest in centuries.  Had this been earlier in time he would've been kidnaped or sold fairly young into his servitude."

"Don't tempt someone," Gibbs warned.  He looked at the amused faces.  "Remember Sheppard, my former director?"  They all nodded.  "She met Harris and tried to sell him to someone."  They all groaned.  "She would've gotten DiNozzo if she had known.  She did try to sell Sanders.  That's when she got arrested."

"Some of us have known for years," one agent said in the corner.  "My wife's downstairs.  She's a level three.  I've made sure that some people, good ones I trusted who might have to deal with issues, had a copy of her directory, Adam.  I know it's a breach but if it helps Paul I'm all for it."

"As long as it doesn't get out."

"Shouldn't," he assured him.  "It helps me take my wife back now and then too."

Adam smiled.  "She is very fetching.  Is this number four or five?"  He groaned.  "Ah, didn't know."

"I've been out of town on assignment.  I said I'd meet her here.  I'm guessing the baby is why she's bouncy and squealing today."  He sipped his water.  "Okay, guys, let's get this straight now.  Yeah, they're all hedonists.  Every last one of them.  That's why there's a huge cuddle pile room.  That's why there's room 318 for those who aren't getting it from their keepers."

"Generally most GHS have someone in their lives we call a keeper.  Someone who protects them, handles the mundane things they tend to forget, gives them what they need to wear out the pheromone problem," Adam agreed.  "For the lower levels, like Doug's wife, all he does is be an extra attentive husband with a bit more creativity in the bedroom.  For the higher level members, it's often harder.  Levels nine and ten members often have to have more than one.  I have Xander and his family's permission to talk about them."

"Is Caine one?" the guy from Miami asked.

"Ask him yourself," Adam said firmly.  He looked at the rest of the group.  "Xander is a level ten, the strongest in centuries.  The stress of his former life and the combat he was getting, plus his nymphomaniac girlfriend of the time, were wearing him out enough that he wasn't emoting much.  Though we do have anecdotal evidence that he was drawing things back as far as eight years old.  We cannot be sure if it's this cause or not."

"Things?" one person said.

"Sunnydale stuff," Don said, waving a hand.  "Ignore it, insert people in your mind.  Unless you're there, you'll never remember it anyway."  He looked at him. "Eight?"

"Eight.  That was the first time he noticed someone trying to follow him.  Not any of the other children.  He was someone that wasn't known for liking children.  He did like Xander at that time."

"Early bloomer?" Don asked.

"We're not sure.  We know when he hit puberty.  We do a comprehensive history on all our members, Agent Epps.  As soon as they test out or pass the initiation test."  He looked at them.  "Which is no one's concern but our own."  Everyone nodded.  "So we do know that we do draw others to us.  When Xander went on his roadtrip, one of the...people in Sunnydale gave him a letter of introduction to a place where he might find some momentary fun to wear himself out at.  The owner of that brothel realized what he was and signed him up for six week stint.  Then he called me to come test him and break him in.  Xander considered it great fun at the time as well as a learning experience.  He had people pay as much as a hundred thousand for an hour of his time, plus tips."  A few gasped.  "By the end of the six weeks he was fully blown open and I had done as much teaching as I could from Chicago with him here in New York.  When he left we had figured out there were eighty-four local officers who should be reassigned somewhere harmless, another thirty citizens that should never be allowed around people, and had gotten Xander back an astounding eight-hundred-fifteen times.  In six weeks.

"When he left the brothel he had enough money to buy a condo on the better side of lower Manhattan immediately and move in within a week.  He picked an officer we all liked as his protector, someone who was there only to protect him.  Don was basically his nanny and bodyguard.  For that he got free rent and bills.  He also got tied up once when someone took Xander for four months from their apartment."  Everyone stared.  "After that, we hooked Xander a bit more deeply into the system and got him some mentors who could help him and help his family.  They got him set up with a keeper as well as Don.  Plus some hobbies.  Being bored does tend to raise our output a bit.  If we're bored, we're emoting.  Xander has great trouble with boredom.  Most level tens live in a large house, they have good security, they have a good staff of people to protect them.  They have at least two lovers and the guards know that they may be asked to sub in if he or she suddenly surges.  The last one in New York had two lovers, two guards she played with, and occasionally did outcalls for an escort service when she was bored.  She was in her seventies when she died.  During an outcall session.

"Any GHS will never quit emoting.  There are things that can suppress them for a bit but they are *dangerous*.  Xander proved that when he was unknowingly given some and spread them around some of the members in Miami.  Three of them nearly died, and Xander lost about twenty pounds by the time we caught the reason.  Once every now and then to help handle a surge, to get them away from a dangerous situation, that sort of use is acceptable.  Any other is not.  We have a list.  You'll be getting it."  He looked around, seeing some horrified agents.  "While there are hedonists who live for pleasures, for us it is not a choice, it is a necessity.  If we are not worn out, we start to back up.  If we back up, we emote worse.  If we do that, we're going to be taken within days.  Backlogging is extremely dangerous for us.  Those who've run into us in a professional capacity before probably did so while we were backlogged.  We have an information packet for you lot outside.  In it are the major regions we're stolen to, along with some recurring names."

Gibbs raised his hand.  "DiNozzo told me Paul was retiring?"

"He gave us notice he was retiring in two years and his second, Soshar is taking over.  We may be looking to hire more sometime soon.  If so, we'd definitely go military.  Paul was Special Forces and so are all his people.  A great many of us have left enough money to the group so we can pay for our own rescues.  Of course, if our members are found with jewelry on them or nearby them and Paul believes it's prudent, he brings it with them.  Most of us believe it's only fair since they stole us in the first place.  Xander has a bad habit of ruining people for fun when they try to take him.  It gives him a bit of pleasure in his daily life."

"DiNozzo said he never gets the good reparation," Gibbs joked.

The guy from Miami sat up.  "I see Harris out alone all the time."

"Xander is an expert at defending himself, he's always armed even if it is only his hairpins, and his poker buddies do tend to keep it down as well.  They know and enjoy watching Xander destroy people.  Though we do not encourage it.  Most level nines and tens have stay-at-home spouses or keepers.  Xander's work.  Both of them.  Though he did go out with Greg when he was in Miami.  That we wanted to outlaw but they seemed to handle it all right thanks to his poker connections in the underground."  He smiled at Don.  "There are a few of us who are in multi-GHS relationships.  Usually two who've decided to make a go of it.   They often work out and don't tend to backlog too often."

"Harris is in one?"

"He is.  One of his boys is a low level one.  Xander more than adequately wears him out so he can focus on police work.  Though there have been times they've both come in and nearly died at their desks from the strain of helping him wear himself out."  Gibbs snickered at that.  He looked at the Miami agent again.  "Most usually we handle Mr. Harris if something happens.  Like the last time, he and a lot of those around him were taken so others in the family grouping we've made went to rescue him."

"And got caught too," Don said dryly.

"And got caught as well," Adam agreed. "That was the only way to get them inside that they saw."

"So, if Harris was doing what he was supposed to, he'd probably be down on his island with a few keepers, some guards, and be doing crafts and things?" Gibbs suggested.  Adam nodded.  "Why is he not?"

"He's bored."

"Ah."

"He was hyperactive before he was blown open."  Edgerton groaned.  "Then again, his former friends stole him a few times as well.  Tried to blow him up as well."  The Miami agent put his head down and thumped it.  "Ah, you've heard of Miss Summers."

"Don't remind me."  He looked at him.  "How did she get out of jail with Rosenburg?"

"The same way Xander destroyed the place that was holding the slave auction.  We do know that she's being punished by something else at the moment.  If she should show up, please give one of us a call."

"Don't worry, I will."  He sat up again, looking at Epps.  "That disappearing, freaky stuff?"

"Sunnydale," he agreed, nodding, looking grim.  Gibbs snorted and took the laptop to get into a file, handing it to him.  "I have one of them," he said, finding the personnel list.

"Some got arrested, some got farmed out to the UN.  Some got transferred," Gibbs agreed, leaning back.  "How often are we going to be dealing with it?  I know I've got some new ones moving into DC thanks to some new senators."

"You'll have five that we know of."

"LA has how many?" Don asked.

"Twelve but one will be moving to DC with her husband."

"Eleven?"

"Two of them are level nines.  We've sent information on level nines and tens to people we trust in law enforcement for years now.  You're more likely to run into trouble with them.  They're the most likely to be taken, hurt, killed, or gifted with strange things.  One of yours got given six elephants and a camel a few years back by someone who wanted her daughter, who was a lesser level.  She left it up to her daughter."

"DiNozzo told me that they'd be left there if the person wanted to be," Gibbs said.

"If that's what they want, we do not feel obligated to stop them," Adam agreed.  "If the extraction team finds clear signs of abuse, coercion or torture, they're gone anyway.  Certain members that he knows are happily married are taken back automatically, no matter what they say.  Like Xander would be.  We know he's not looking for more because of his mates.  There's a number of strong couples within the groups.  We also tend to clump together for companionship and help.  Regional meetings, sometimes city-wide meetings like they have here.  New York has fifteen GHS the last I knew," he told the local guy, getting a horrified look.  "That does include the new level nine one of your Vice agents found and brought to our attention."

"The city meetings are held with that one prosecutor's wife?"  Adam nodded.  "I'll get with her since I know she's here."  He looked around.  "Something else I noticed while Harris was up here and dealing with others.  They are flashy.  They cannot help but draw attention to themselves.  Harris used to drive this ungodly colored purple SUV.  Nice ride, great ride from what I heard, but not exactly the most macho shade of lavender."

"He's got a blood red corvette and his SUV he's got here now," Adam said dryly.  "Some of us don't draw attention to ourselves."

"Most of the higher ones do," he countered.

"True, the higher you are the more likely that is because fussing over it is one way to wear it out."

Edgerton spoke up.  "Harris' SUV is nice.  It's a stretch Range Rover.  It's got limo seating in the back.  It's got emergency supplies, rear and undercarriage cameras.  Good security.  Has a sleeping gas switch on the driver's door.  It's a sweet ride even if it does guzzle gas by the barrel."

"Dual tanks," Gibbs told him.  "He got DiNozzo and Sanders one when they got together.  Drove it up, dropped it off, got taken by someone in the UAE."  He shook his head.  "He tried really hard to behave but the Director tried to claim it on them.  She decided DiNozzo was her personal property."  Adam gave him a knowing look.  "I was hormoned," he said bluntly.

"Fine.  As long as you two have worked it out.  Most of us don't hold a grudge except against those who've taken us.  Xander does against his former friends.  You will find some commonalities.  All of us have a sweet tooth.  All of us enjoy the fussing over things, like shopping to create new things or presents.  All of us are very good in bed with some training.  Our needs make sure of it or else they're not being met."  He went to get the information packets.  "These are not to get out unless you are briefing someone," he ordered.  They all nodded.

"That's why we're here," the agent in charge said.  "What's with Dallas?"

"It's a good shopping area," the guy from down there said.  "We've got about twelve, thirteen of our own."

"Twenty-three," Adam told him. "Including lower level members."

"We hardly ever have any problem with any of them but our two level tens and one of the level nines.  Anymore the local office warns them personally if there's diplomats coming into town.  The last big oil company meeting downtown was fun.  We busted in four times to take people back from the Japanese contingent."  He took his packet, looking it over.  "Hmm, the new girl's sixteen?"

"Yes.  She got some and it awakened the need," Adam said dryly.  "She's here as well.  Our local helper brought her along and has been helping her like she helped mentor Xander."

"Would Harris live in a more secure house if we could give Caine stuff for it?" the Miami guy asked.

"He can't remember the code to the one he has," Gibbs told him, giving him a look.  That got a moan.  "Is he constantly in backlog?" Adam nodded. "He doesn't have playmates or a brothel membership?"

"He has both.  He's still overloaded most of the time.  It's partially the boredom.  Partially it's where they have him on a schedule due to work issues.  If his boys are home all day it's much better.  We've seen that before on their days off.  Then again, those days they don't tend to come in and nearly die on their desks."

"I'd kill my boys if they got that backed up," Gibbs told him.

"It took a lot of work for us to get them to see that Xander needed more than a cuddle and a quick blow at bedtime," Adam said.  "Neither one was thinking in terms of relationship.  Once they did it got easier for them to deal with him but it's still nearly impossible some days."  He smirked.  "I have seen him worn out.  He had this content look and he nearly collapsed at my feet from it.  We'd love to be able to wear out Xander but he'd have to spend most of the day being pampered or in bed.  Perhaps later if they retire to the farm."

One raised his hand from his reading, looking up.  "How many of you are in Chicago?"

"As of the printing of this directory eight.  I think one's moving to Milwaukee in a few months for work."

"What's the schedule for this weekend?" the young BAU person asked.

"Tonight's the greeting ceremony.  Usually I give a short speech, we nibble and catch up with friends. We visit the shrine of those missing or gone.  We have dinner, then some of us will be sneaking out to go shopping afterward.  There's usually a run to a local ice cream place as well.  Tomorrow we have the in-house shopping area, the cuddle room, and seminars on self-defense, money management, contract disputes for hired help around the house, and entertaining yourself while you're bored.  Xander will be sitting in that one, even if I do have to handcuff him.  Then lunch then a rerun of the earlier lectures for those who want to take them and missed them due to shopping or sleeping in.  Then dinner."

"Xander's sneaking out for a local poker game someone set up for him," Edgerton said.  Adam gave him a horrified look.  "He said one of his contacts down there wanted to see how he got so lucky.  So he's sneaking out for that and he said he hopes he won't run into anyone else."

"He shouldn't."  He shook his head.  "I'll try to stop that if possible.  The usual deal tomorrow night is the movie rooms.  Where cuddle up together, watch movies, make fun of the movies, get to know each other.  The last day are the guarded outings this time, and the ending ceremony with those who need things getting what they still need."  He smiled.  "I do ask that you be subtle.  Most of the members have been warned.  We sent out a group-wide memo.  Not everyone is happy about it."  He looked at the young agent.  "Remember, we are not a psychological paper.  Should you try we'll be seeing you in the self-defense classes both times."  He nodded quickly, pushing his glasses back up his nose.  "Good.  Any other questions?"

"Dancing?" Gibbs asked.

"During the self-defense lessons, Gibbs.  Xander usually goes over it.  If people want him to teach them he'll run a special lesson on Sunday.  The same as Tony usually runs one for gun care if asked."

"Good."  He leaned on the table.  "How many are here this weekend?  How many overall?"

"Overall we have approximately three thousand members worldwide.  That does include ones that have been taken and are living overseas.  They usually have their own meetings in Europe and Asia."  That got a nod.  "Here this weekend we have close to six hundred of us."

Don gave him a look.  "We don't consider this dangerous?  People don't come to scout?"

"We generally rent out the hotel so no one else gets in," he said calmly.  "We notice outsiders and our security people are here to make sure of who they are.  Conventions give us necessary social contact with others who understand and help us deal with things."

"Like ours do.  We get to catch up with others in the same field, share stories, bitch about our bosses and coworkers, plus have some fun," Don said.  Adam nodded.  "Even then a lot of ours have had people who've shown up to take out a cop they hate."

"We've had conventions interrupted.  We've had a few taken during them.  With our people here it's usually faster getting them back.  The last one in Miami was interrupted by some religious crank who kept preaching that we were sinful beings for being born this way.  Then the assistant mayor who wanted us all to be his harem but went off when he saw a few touching each other.  We handle those.  That's why we warn the police before we get here.  We expect there to be some police surveillance.  We put up with it.  That's why we don't advertise room 318 to everyone.  Those who need it, hear about it.  We all know the signs of someone who's too stressed, backlogged, or isn't getting it at home.  This year it's up on the fifth floor.  The cuddle room is one of the meeting rooms.  There is no groping in the cuddle room if you go in there.  There are monitors in each of those rooms."  They all nodded.  "Any other questions?  If not, I've got a short speech to make in a few moments."  They shook their heads.  "Then have a good convention, gentlemen."  He walked out, heading down there.

Xander bounced over to him, giving him a hug.  "When I was holiday shopping in DC they wanted me to suggest we have one there."  He bounced off again.

"Xander!" he snapped.  He gave him a hurt look.  "Come here and tell me about this poker game, young man."

"One of the guys in Miami is helping me get in touch with someone who knows about weapons."

Adam sighed.  "It is dangerous, Xander.  You were taken quite often up here."

"I know."  He gave him a hug.  "It'll be fine.  I'm me, remember?"  He bounced off, going to the pool.  He found a young girl floating in there. "Hey."

"Hey."  She looked at him.  "Are you one of us?"

"Xander Harris, level ten out of Miami.  I think you're our new level nine?  Melissa?"

"I am."  She swam over to shake his hand.  "How did you know?"

He grinned.  "Since we get into so much trouble, all level tens and nines' pictures and summaries are given to those members and keepers in law enforcement.  They run into a lot of us."

"Can we opt out of that?"

He looked at her.  "You been stopped by one of them yet?"

"There was a raid at a whorehouse," she admitted.  "I wasn't picked up."

"That's why they give it over, Melissa."  He grinned.  "Would me doing laps bother you?"

"No.  I'm trying to float and calm down.  I'm nervous."

"I'm an old hand at conventions," he promised with a gentle smile.  "I came out a few years back here in New York."  She nodded at that.  "What are you needing?"

"I guess maybe I'm looking for feeling surrounded."

He nodded.  "There's a better way than water.  C'mon."  She got out and went to get dressed while he waited.  Then he led her upstairs.  "Cuddle pile is where?" he asked someone.  She pointed.  "Thanks."  He led her that way.  "There is no groping, no sleeping, nothing but cuddling in here," he told her as he opened the door.  A few people were in there.  "Hey, guys, this is Melissa.  She's our new level nine.  Can she flop down with you guys?"  They pulled her down and surrounded her.  She sighed in pleasure and went limp.  He grinned, sitting next to them.  "I spend a lot of time in here too.  My boyfriends work all day.  It kinda sucks and I spend a lot of time bored out of my mind."  He got pulled in too so he cuddled.  He smiled when he heard the snore, getting the room attendant to move her off to the side with someone else who was napping.  "Thanks, guys," he said, getting up.  "Tell her to come find me later," he told the room's attendant.  He nodded so he bopped out to look at the early shopping.  He ran into Greg.  "Greggy!"  He gave him a hug.

"In the cuddle pile already?" he teased.

"I met Melissa.  She needed it."

"That's cool.  I'm heading to the research council."  Xander walked along with him.  "Thanks for getting that stuff from Sonny."

"I didn't want the guys who take us to have it.  Imagine how hard it'll be then?"  He shuddered.  "Anyway, he's scared."  He grinned.  "My legend is spreading even farther."

Greg snickered.  "If you say so.  Seen any of the other agents?"

"Saw one.  Knew him from Miami."  He opened the door and leaned in.  "Guys, since I know some of you are on the selection committee, one of the jewelers I was shopping with in DC wanted his city suggested."  He closed the door and went back to his looking.   He smiled at one guy.  "Not listening to Adam talk?"

"No, not this time.   You're..."

"Xander."  He shook his hand.

"Don Epps, out of LA."

"Ah, you saw my mess," he said, giving him a sheepish look.  "Sorry."

"Don't be.  They deserved it."  Xander relaxed at that.  "You're not heading out, right?"

"Not yet.  I'll finish my holiday shopping later."  He grinned at that.  "I did some in DC."  He walked him off to the shopping area.  "Hi, guys," he cooed.  Those who knew him smiled.  He saw one and stared at him.  "Have you changed the formula?"  He went pale.  "Stop him.  That stuff's dangerous to us."  He went to get someone while Don kept him and his gas there.  He leaned into the greeting ceremony.  "Um, Adam, not to interrupt but the gas guy is here.  The one that got Don," he said at the confused look.

"Do be merry and celebrate the companionship and friendships of the society.  I have to beat that person."  That got some laughs and he walked out.  He walked back inside. "For those who wanted to know what the agents you got the memo about know we can meet after dinner."  He left again, going to eject that person with the agent's help.

Don gave Xander a look once he was gone.  "What happened?"

"That gas is good.  It creates a happy high that can open a GHS up to it.  It can also raise levels.  My boyfriend Don tested it to see if it was something I could use during surges.  He went from a two to a five in one night.  He was like a cat in heat."

"We're thankful you didn't get any," Adam said dryly.  "Where is Melissa?  I wanted to introduce her to some people and talk to her."

"Cuddle pile.  She needed it and ended up napping.  I found her in the pool."

"That's fine, Xander.  Do not go play poker."

"I need the contact," he complained.  "I'll be careful and go armed.  Shit, Adam.  Not like I'm not as good as you are."  He gave him a look, getting a frown back.  "Really."

"You will check in once you get back, young man.  Am I clear?"

"Fine!  Last time I knew you were dating Ray, not my cute ass."   He walked off shaking his head.  "He's like a very nosy big brother now and then," he complained.

"I'm one of those," Don told him.

"I don't have siblings.  It's probably a better thing.  So why are you guys wiretapping me?"

"It started six years ago with a tip."

"Oh.  Probably the Mayor and how we were stopping him then."  He shrugged.  "Tell them I said to stop it.  Before I have to get mean."

"The FBI doesn't really take orders..."  Xander laid a hand on his forehead and muttered something, making him wince. "You can do that stuff?" he asked once he was released.

"A little bit.  It comes in handy.  Especially on road trips. That's how I got my baby dragon."  He smirked at him. "Please."

"I'll see if we can do that."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Can you do that over the phones?"

"Yeah, I can make it so whoever's listening will have migraines for weeks each time they try," he said dryly.  "Danny would complain but yay."  He squealed and pounced someone to hug.  "It's my favorite commando.  One of the few I still like."

"Hi, Xander," Paul said, patting him on the back.  He looked at him.  "You look good.  Happy?"

"Enough.  Still bored.  What's this I hear you're retiring?"

"My wife wants me to.  We're planning on kids and she said if I want kids I have to."

"Pity."  He shrugged.  "You'll still be like the National Guard for Soshar, right?"

"Of course. No one else on the team can get into Jordan.  We're all banned."  He walked him back to the agent.  "Hi, Paul Castovertes."

"Don Epps, FBI out of LA."  He shook his hand. "You're the one who goes on rescues?"  He nodded.  "That's cool.  Xander, can I talk to him?  We'll talk later about the wiretapping stuff after I ask?"  He grinned and bounced off. "Don't get into trouble."

"Why would I?  I'm a good boy," he called as he bounced off like Tigger.

Paul winced.  "Poker game?"

"Tomorrow night," he said.

"Charming."   He looked.  "Edgerton?"

"I got pulled in to help this guy when he needs it," he said, nodding his head at Don.  He shook his hand.  "I heard you had a cushy personal contract."

"Yeah, I get a lot of frequent flier miles too," he said dryly.  "Soshar!"  He came jogging over.  "These are Agents Don Epps and Ian Edgerton.  I came up with Edgerton.  Epps is out of LA."

"Hey."  He shook their hands.  "Marigold's ex is trying to get in.  Can I kick his ass this time with the flowers he's carrying?"

"Go for it," he agreed.  "Leave some for the locals."   He grinned. "Sorry, her ex tried to pimp her out."  He walked them off.  "So, how was the briefing?"

"Interesting.  Think I could get Charlie tested, just in case?"

"He losing focus?"

"No."

"Then he's not.  They're like little kids high on crack when they're not keeping it under control."

"Charlie says math is his pleasure and he's been getting lost a lot more often," Don said.

"Hmm.  You know, I don't know.  We can introduce you to one of the ones in LA.  They can usually tell even the lowest level members."  He walked him off to introduce him to someone.  "Belinda.  This is ...."

"The agent who bothers my yummy math teacher."  She shook his hand.  "Are you one of the ones who got briefed?"

"I am.  I was wondering if something like Charlie's math funks could be related."

She considered it.  "You know, that's something I don't know about.  I have a test kit.  I see him Tuesday."

"I can be there," he agreed.  "Not that he doesn't know already.  He apparently did some math for the group way back in college."

"Like Xander, your brother shows up in the oddest places," Ian said dryly, cracking Paul up.  "Adam said that about Xander."

"He does.  Oh, he so does.   Speaking of I need to warn the boy that the rest of his mother's cult still wants him back as a living saint.  Remind me?"

"Sure," Ian agreed.  "Cult?"  Don gave him an odd look too.

"His mother created one to her son because of what he was doing then kidnaped him to make him go back to him instead of the fluffy, confused, bouncy, violent one he is now.  Cut his hair, had his former friends helping, all that stuff."

"Poor Xander," she said.  "The poor guy never gets a break.  He should move back to LA."

"No," Paul said.  "Some of his former friends are still there.  We want them *far* apart, Belinda.  They fight."

"Never mind.  So," she said, walking Don off.  "How is my yummy math teacher and is he still single?  I know he and the one new one, Amita, are going off but they don't seem *serious*.  They seem like they're casual and settling."

"That's what I thought but he says he's stuck on her.  If someone would change his mind Dad might mind but he'd be happier so he'd accept it soon enough.  What do you think about Larry?"

"I think he's about as confused as I am when I don't get chocolate."  She looked around. "Speaking of, I forgot my purse."  She went to get it.

Paul looked over as the doors burst open and someone walked in with a gun, firing into the air.  "Freeze!  Everyone on the ground."

"You fucking moron," came a quiet voice from behind him.  He turned and Xander hit him with something solid that he picked up off a table.  He frowned when it dented.   "Huh, not good."  He dove in to beat the guy while the others either ran, ran to get help, or Tony tried to get to him to handcuff the guy.  He ended up slamming the guy's head against the floor, making him pass out.  "And stay out!  Bastard!"  He got helped up.  He grinned at Don.  "Hi.  Hey, Paul, he has a badge," he called.  "Might wanna make nice with the locals."  He sighed and walked off, going to pay for what he had dented.  It wasn't meant for that sort of use.  She waved him off since it was a statue and still good in the new form.  He smiled and went to get some ice cream and a soda.

Paul looked at the guy then at Tony.  "Know anyone?"

"Don's precinct," he said.

"Internal Affairs, guys," Greg reminded him.  He patted him down, finding his badge.  "Never mind, he is IA."  He walked off to add that to the call to the local precinct.  He stopped one guy in a suit.  "Higher up?"  He nodded.  He handed him the badge.  "Messy.  Sorry, man."

He looked then he snickered.  "He's the bane of the department.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Is he the guy that used to get on Messer's case?  Because it was his boy Xander that beat him."

"We remember Xander," he said fondly, going to fix that.  He walked in.  "Inspector," he said, making Don's former precinct boss stare at him.  "One of the others here took his badge from him."  He held it up.

"I was hoping that was a relative of Hillbourne's," he sighed.

"Better yet, it was Flack and Messer's boy Xander who beat him, sir."

The Inspector growled and shook his head. "Ruined a good cop."

"Actually, Don helped bust that terrorist ring in Miami recently," Adam said from his corner of the room with an ice pack.  He had run into something and was holding it pretend to be bruised.  "With Xander's help.  Some of his poker buddies."  A few of the guys who had heard from Flack laughed.  "I believe they gave Taylor the rest of that investigation."

"Were you here, sir?"

"I was."

"You would be?" he asked.

"The National Head."

"Okay.  He did what?"  Adam pointed up at the holes.  "Shot."

"Yelled Freeze.  Xander called him a name, dented him with a statue, then beat him senseless.  I do owe the boy an ice cream cone.  I thought it'd be tomorrow before we had problems."

"Let's get him out of here, guys.  He can be checked over at the station," the inspector ordered.  They cuffed him and picked him up to carry off.  He walked out.  "Sorry about him, people.  Won't happen again."  He left, letting the hotel door close behind him.  This was going to be a mess of paperwork.  Well, there went his weekend.

***

Xander looked at the guy he was there to play poker with, smiling.  "Hi, Xander Harris," he told his bodyguard, letting him pat him down.  He got an odd look for the gun he was wearing.  "I used to live in New York.  Since I have to go back to the hotel after dark, I'm going to protect my ass.  You can hold it out of reaching range if you want."

"You go armed to the games in Miami?"

Xander smirked a bit.  "I know the people in Miami.  They know me.  We're not going to hurt each other.  I have no idea who you are," Xander said honestly.

"Cautious.  Cute hair, kid."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks.  A lot of people like my hair."  He let the bodyguard look at his hairpins.  "They're practical."  He wound his hair up and pinned it up, giving him a look.  "That way I don't play with it.  I get yelled at when I do it in Miami by a few of the others in the poker circle.  It distracts them."

"That's fine," the old man said, waving him over.  He put the cards down for Xander to inspect, getting a nod.  "You trust me?"

"If you cheat me I get to complain to them then put the wicked, evil portion of my mind to destroying you," he said with a cheerful grin.  The old man laughed. "Just ask the General."  The man quit laughing and stared at him.  He smirked a bit.  "That's why I don't have to worry about them.  Now, which is your version?"

"I prefer Texas."

"I've only played that a few times in Vegas.  Not my best game."

"You play stud?"  Xander nodded. "We can do that."

"Sure."  He got handed the cards.  "I can deal."  He shuffled under his watch then dealt easily.  He put the stack down in the center of the table.  "Chips?"  A guy came over to change him out.  He handed over three large bills, getting a nod from him and a stack of chips.  He looked at his hand and grimaced.  "I suck."  The other guy laughed.  "It happens."  He considered it then his opponent.  He was cool and had no tells he could see.  He was definitely not getting that winning feeling from this hand.  He'd let him have it though.  He put in a small chip, getting an equal amount.  "Cards?"

"Two."  He put two down, getting two dealt to him.  Xander changed three of his five.  It was a bit better.  "In for ten more," he said, tossing in chips.  "You don't deal nicely."

"I know."  He went up to the ten.  He showed his.  A pair, low.  "I can barely beat that."  He put his down, a pair one number higher.  He got a laugh.  "You deal since I suck."  The old man dealt and it was a crappy hand but Xander knew what he was doing.  "Nice."  The man stared at him.  He looked back.  "Saw the shuffle move.  Sonny taught it to me while we were waiting on the usual dealer at Fu's."

"You hang out with him?"

"No, he retired and joined the poker circle.  We have a mutual non-aggression and he leaves my boyfriends alone pact or else I get to have fun with his life."  He grinned sweetly.  "Since I'm Danny Messer and Don's Flack's love slave....."

"Ah.  You are him."  Xander tipped his head.  "Does Flack's father like you, kid?"

Xander shrugged.  "Only met him once.  He didn't seem to mind me.  His mother minded because she wasn't getting anything but ferrets, dogs, and my baby dragon for grandkids from him at the moment."  The bodyguard laughed.  "They're my babies.  I told her if Don wanted to adopt, more power to him."  He switched his hand around.  "I'll help him spoil the baby and teach the dogs not to pounce it."

"Interesting.  You don't like kids?"

"Don't know.  No experience with little kid except for being a guardian on Halloween one year and that was horrible."

"Ah.  They're not bad and a man of your means could hire a nanny."

Xander looked at him.  "Why?  I sit home bored all day long."  He shrugged.  "I'd learn how to help with the childcare stuff.  Don would get to sit home more with me."  He put down two cards, getting two back.  "You didn't do the wrist flip thingy to get the ace in the right spot?" he asked.

The old man gaped.  "He did teach you."

"Yeah.  He was bored.  Said it'd at least be a manly skill.  Goes well with the swords I can use."  He upped his bet.  Not a great hand but not a bad hand.  If he had mis-shuffled like that he probably didn't have what he needed anyway.  "Twenty-five."  The guy checked his cards and gave himself three then bet.  Xander looked at him.  He called the higher bet and got a shrug, the older guy showing his hand.  Xander showed his.  They ended up tied really.  Two pairs of royalty and a lower set.  The old man snorted.  "Leave it there for the next pot," Xander said.

"That'll work."  He let Xander deal.  "No cheating."

"Of course not.  My boys would spank."

"Do they do that over your weapons?"

"Nope.  Not since Horatio confiscating them got all our asses kidnaped."  He grinned sweetly at him.  "That's why I had them."  He finished shuffling and dealt to the guy, then himself.  He looked.  Good hand.  Still no tingling winning feeling.  He sent a silent prayer at Strife and didn't feel it hit.  Interesting.  No wonder.  He concentrated on his glass of ice water, swishing the ice around a bit.  So his magic still worked.  He took a drink.  "Hmm.  I need a better filter at home again.  Got to remember to get one."  He put it down.  "Nice filter."

"Thank you.  The one that goes on the faucet."

Xander nodded.  "I have one and a pitcher but I keep forgetting new filters."  He checked his cards, then smiled.  He only took one and it did help.  He put in fifty.  The old man met and raised ten.  He considered it then called.  "Cards?"

"No, thank you, Xander."  He put down his hand.  Xander put down his.  The old man gaped.  "How did you do that?"

"I'm lucky.  That's why I'm so evil on baccarat too."  He grinned.  "Your deal."  He restacked his chips in money order.

"How did you do that?"

Xander shrugged.  "It comes to me.  Always has since I got taught by Ryan during a trip to Las Vegas for a GHS convention.  Even the dealer and her pit boss couldn't figure out how I did it and neither can I.  They do laugh at me being evil on baccarat though."

"Do you deal in Miami?"

"Hardly ever.  The circle has dealers, usually someone's bodyguard or someone at the location we're playing at.  Sometimes it's someone who's there to talk to someone else but most of the time we've all agreed on dealers."

"I don't believe you.  Do it again."

Xander shuffled, letting him see everything.  He dealt.  He looked at his cards, then shrugged.  "Not bad.  Need any?"  He discarded and dealt himself two.  "Cards?"

"One," he said.  Xander dealt to him once he had discarded.  He gave him a slow smile. "It's in the shuffle."

"It is?  Huh.  This is my usual luck even when I'm not dealing."  He shrugged.  "I hardly ever get to deal unless I'm playing for kisses at home.  Fifty," he said, tossing in chips.

"Three hundred," he countered.

Xander looked at his hand, then at him.  He saw the look in his eyes and called.  "Sure, I'm only playing with gas money."

"That's a lot of gas," the bodyguard said.

"My SUV takes it," Xander said with a grin.  "I drive a stretch Range Rover."  The guard gave him a look. "Or my corvette at home but I wasn't going to drive it from Miami.  It might get hurt.  It's another Flack grandbaby.  Though he has a bike for his Mom's amusement."

"I'm upping mine two hundred more," he said, tossing that in.

Xander stared at his hand, then shrugged.  "I'll meet that and add another eighty."  He tossed that in.  The old man stared at his cards then shook his head.  "You sure?  Last chance before I take it."

"Show them.  I think you're bluffing."  Xander tipped his hand over to show him, getting a growl.  "How did you do that?"

"I'm lucky."  He shrugged. "You deal."   He pulled the chips closer then restacked them.  He finished his water.  "Can I have some more please?" he asked politely.  The guard got it for him.

"Why are there agents from all over the US and three agencies at the same hotel?" the bodyguard asked.

"The FBI wanted agents in certain offices to understand the threat that GHS live with daily.  That way they can handle some of the kidnaping stuff.  Or even some of the present stuff.  One of my last ones was a warhead and a few bombs mid-construction.  One of the others there this weekend got given weapons by a terrorist too.  So they want to make sure we don't have to deal with such dirty people.  Though they did agree with Horatio.  I'm allowed to have weapons as long as he has oversight, they're safely stored away from everyone, especially my poker buddies, and I keep a good count of them.  That way no one else decides to take most of the family as potential slaves like they did in LA."

"I saw that mess," the bodyguard said.

Xander nodded.  "I had to get myself free then others.  My temper was a bit high," he admitted.  "Pity but I'm told I only got the slavers.  Thankfully.  I would've kicked myself if I had hit someone innocent."

"How did you do that?" the old man asked, leaning back, sipping his own water.

Xander shrugged.  "My temper is the black-out sort after a certain level.  I wake up and there's a mess.  I do know that it wasn't a single losing of my temper.  I lost it three different times while I was there.  But hey, I got free and me getting free got others free so they could finish helping me make the mess.  They *really* shouldn't have tried."

That got a nod.  "What sort of weapons do you like, young man?"

"I like launchable ones.  Single user, non vehicle mounted.  I used to have some bazookas and Horatio laughed at them.  So did Calleigh, his ballistics person.  I've got a fair hand at explosives."  He shrugged.  "Not like I'm going to use them unless we're invaded by aliens, Cuba, or more people who want to kidnap my cute ass."  He grinned. "You?  Since I was told you collected as well."

"I like guns."

"Guns are nice.  Horatio left my gun collection alone.  I've got a pretty good exemplar selection."  The old man stared at him.  "Handguns and machine guns.  Though I prefer the AK for assault rifles.  It's more useful.  I have three cases somewhere in the warehouse.  For handguns, I like the heavier ones instead of the lighter, easier concealed one. I can hide anything I need to but those feel better with my wrist.  We go to the range every month to make sure my boys can handle them too.  Don's slowly taking my exemplar now that he knows about it.  Just in case."

"Aliens?" the bodyguard asked.

He grinned.  "I'm from a small town near LA called Sunnydale.  With everything I've seen, I'm going to leave the question of aliens open until I see proof.  Probably when they come down to go shopping."  The bodyguard laughed so he looked at the old man again, sipping his water.  He grimaced.  "Sleeping potion.  Sweet.  Thanks."  He put it aside at the gapes.  He smiled.  "I've been taken more than a few times.   People want the hair."  He stood up.  "I should go back to the hotel.  My friends will be worried soon."

"I don't think so," he said, pulling a gun.  "There's no way you're for real."

Xander looked at his gun then at him.  "You don't want to do that."  He laughed and cocked it.  Xander glanced at his gun and it came floating over, making him stand up and back away.  Xander checked it then smiled at the bodyguard.  "Would you please cash me out?"

"Sure, Mr. Harris."  He did that.  "Have a good night, sir."

"Thanks.  It's been an interesting evening playing with you.  I'll tell Dave and Carlos you said hello."  He strolled out.  Someone tried to stop him so he broke a few bones then continued walking out.  He smiled at the man outside the gates.  "Morning."  He could feel the quickening.  "Not interested."

"In what?"

He grinned.  "Xander Harris."

"Inspector General Kremps."  He shook his hand.  "Poker game?"

"Well, yeah.  I play for gas money."  He grinned.  "It gives me something to do in Miami."

"Weapons?"

"I'm allowed because otherwise people take my cute ass."

"I see.  Where are you from, sir?"

"Sunnydale.  Though right now I'm supposed to be at the GHS convention."

He just nodded at that.  "You know Don Flack?"

"I'm living with and madly in love with Junior."

"Ah.  You're *him*."

"Yup."  He nodded with a goofy grin.  "One of the others in the lab down there taught me how to play poker.  I usually only play for gas money and tax payments.  That stuff."

"Uh-huh. You do know he was a mobster and is suspected of selling arms?"

"I think that's why my poker buddy set us up for a game.  So I could reup my collection.  That way I'm not stolen again."  He looked at the car pulling up.  "Hi, guys.  I'm fine."  He looked at him.  "Don's not in this weekend but I can pass back a letter if you want.  I'll be leaving Monday morning."

"I can do that."  He stared at him.  "You should go with your minders, boy.  Before the Feds get there."

Xander leaned closer.  "What makes you think they weren't already in there?"  The guy groaned.  He smirked.  "I saw a bug.   Yours?"

"Probably not.   You should go."

"Fine, I'll go."  He walked over to the two agents, grinning. "Can we stop for ice cream since it wasn't a really satisfying game?"

"We can play at the hotel," Don told him.

"Okay."  He grinned. "Pennies, or do you need to stop and get matchsticks?"

"Matchsticks," he said, getting in.  Xander got into the back. "We have him under surveillance."

"I noticed the bug and the bodyguard was a Fed.  He stood *way* too straight and was *way* too polite for a usual bodyguard."  He grinned at the horrified looks both agents gave him.  "What?"

"How do you know these things?" the one from Miami, who was driving, asked as they drove off.

"I've met a lot of you over the years.  Then again that agent was one of the ones that busted into NCIS when the director tried to sell my cute ass."

Don groaned.  "The Inspector?"

"I don't know him but I know of him.  Don said something about him.  Was he running surveillance?"

"We're not fully sure why he was there," Don admitted.  "So you're good?"

"I'm very good but I'm not allowed on electronic games because somehow I know when slots are going to hit.  They kinda scream at me when they want to hit.  But I'm evil on baccarat and poker," he said happily.

"How did you learn baccarat?" Don asked.

"James Bond marathon," Xander said with a grin.

Don groaned, shaking his head.  "I'm taking tape of you playing to see if Charlie can figure it out."

Xander leaned forward to hug him around the neck.  "It's magic and that's all it is.  Not intentional, but it's a gift and I'm not looking for the whys.  It's fun and I miss fun."  He let him go and leaned back again.  "So can we get ice cream?"

"Sure," Don agreed.  He pointed.  "There?"

"Sure.  I'll even treat."  He walked in and looked at his wallet, then bought them ice cream cones.  He handed Don the money he had gotten changed out.  "For some reason it doesn't look right."

Don held one up to the light while licking his ice cream cone, nodding.  "That's because it's counterfeit.  Good call, kid."

"Welcome."  He got into the back again and they went back to the hotel.  He found Adam looking unhappy so he gave him a hug and held up his cone.  "Want a lick?"

"You'd give me dirty thoughts Raymond would not like," he said, taking it to take a lick anyway.  "How was it?"

"He was going to shoot me because I won.  He gave me counterfeit money on the way out the door.  Pity.  Looks like I get to have fun.  Oh, Inspector General Kremps was there?"

"Stay away from him, Xander.  He's not exactly good at all times."

"I figured that much out."  He kissed him on the cheek.  "Did I miss anything?"

"Gregory going insane."  Xander smirked.  "What did you do?"

"I left him a prezzie."  He beamed and bounced off.  "I'm in the Sultan's suite if you guys still wanted to play poker," he called as he bounced off.

Edgerton came out of the shadows.  "You gave him more sugar?"

He handed him the counterfeit bill.  "He helped us bust a drug and arms dealer.  That's what they cashed him out with."

"Ah."  He looked at it.  "That's really horrible."

"He's got an undercover person in there too," Don said happily.  "Get me some matchsticks while I call in a report?"

"Sure.  Ask the local guy to do it for you."  He went to get them both some.  It'd take them both to calm Xander down with the size of that ice cream cone.

Adam smiled.  "Yes, sometimes keepers do feel like fond babysitters," he said dryly.

"I feel that way about my brother too."  He walked off eating his ice cream cone, going to talk to the guy from the local office.  "The guy Harris was playing poker with paid him in phoney bills and nearly shot him."

"Interesting."

"He's got an undercover guy, Xander said he saw a bug in there, and we ran into an Inspector General on the way out."

"Hmm."  Don handed over the money.  He looked at them.  "Those are really bad."  He smirked.  "Who?"  He handed over the information sheet he had printed out when Adam gave him the guy's name.   "Aww, my boss wants him.  Which Inspector?"

"Kremps."

"We've had doubts about him."  He snickered.  "Thanks, Epps."

"Welcome.  We're going to play poker with Harris."

"Have fun.  He's a shark."

"Yeah, the guy tried to shoot him because Xander won."  He walked off, going to play with him.  He found Sanders bouncing around hugging him.  "Happy?" he asked dryly.

"Very!  Xander got me a present that feels great!  Tony's going to die!"  He bounced off.  "I'll try to make sure it's not literal."

"What did you give him?" he asked.

"Chocolate flavored lube and a few new things I'm learning how to work with.  I'm learning how to make leather stuff.

"Like whips?"

"No, like padded handcuffs and a silk lined thong I gave to Speedle that matched his bike, and...."  Don held up a hand, shaking his head. "Greg got some new toys and some other stuff.  Tony might make it to his lectures tomorrow."  He grinned.  "They need to be happy and bouncy too."

"I can tell."  He let the other agents in.  "We invited Ian."

"That's fine.  He wasn't too grumpy on the way up."  He found his deck of cards, opening it to do a quick count.  "Hmm."  Ian tossed over a new one.  "Thanks."  He found the jokers then shuffled for a few minutes to loosen the cards.  "Okay."  He got his pile of matchsticks and anted in then dealt.  The others settled around the bed.  Xander pulled down his hair then undid the braid, running his hands through it while they figured out bets and cards.  "Who needs a card?"

***

Tony flopped down at Gibbs' table the next morning, thumping his head down.  "Save me?" he muttered.  "Please, boss?"

"What did Harris give him?"

Tony lifted his head to look at him.  "Chocolate flavored stimulant lube and a new set of padded handcuffs he had made himself.  A new leather, stuffed toy."  He put his head back down with a thump.  "I'm exhausted and Greg still hasn't slept yet."

"I'll knock him out."

"Teach self-defense?"

"Fine," he agreed.  He nearly patted him on the back.  "Go nap."

"I can't.  He's lurking to pounce me because I escaped while he was in the shower."

"I'll guard your six to bed."

Tony hugged him.  "I love you."

"Get off," he said, giving him a nudge.  Tony grinned and followed him up to the room they had.  Gibbs caught Sanders mid-pounce, having to put down his coffee.  "Oh, no.  Let him sleep before we both lose him to death."  He turned him around and gave him a nudge.  "Go eat.  No coffee."  Greg pouted but went to eat breakfast.  Tony hugged him again.  "Nap, DiNozzo.  You clearly need it."  Tony nodded, going to nap.  Gibbs grabbed his coffee and walked off shaking his head.  He found Adam.  "Tony asked me to teach self-defense since he's passed out."  Adam gave him an amused look.  "Chocolate flavored stimulant lube."

"Xander handed my Ray some of that.  I think I might have died a few times."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Room B at ten, Gibbs."

"Sure."  He went to find Xander.  "I'm taking Tony's lecture spot."  Xander beamed.  "He'd thank you but he's tired."

"He'll thank me tomorrow."  He gave him a hug.  "Remember, we're not always a punctual bunch."  He went back to shopping while Gibbs went back to the buffet.  He squealed and pounced Greg, getting one back.  "Did it work?"

"Oh, it worked *so* well," he said happily, walking him off to talk to him.

***

Xander looked at the self defense class.  "Hold on.  Melissa!" he yelled.  She came walking in.  "You need to be here.  The same as I did, dear."  She pouted.  "Tough.  You have to be able to get away from the people who want to take us.  For upper levels it's much more important than lower ones."  She nodded, sitting down.  "Now, who's seen Tony's and mine demos before?"  Half of them raised a hand.  "Good.  Then you guys work with Gibbs while I work with those who haven't."

"I took six months of martial arts," Melissa said.

Xander smiled, nodding her up.  "Okay, I'm going to show you why it's necessary."  She nodded, readying herself.  He turned her around.  "Almost no one gets you from the front, dear."  He waited, giving her ten seconds of waiting time, then he attacked, tapping her on the arm then gently lowering her to the ground no matter how much she struggled.  He looked down at her.  "Most of the time they're going to drug you.  You have to be able to get out of that hold and all the other grabs.  If you can still do martial arts, go for it."  She pouted.  He pulled her up.  "One of you guys grab me once she's out of the way."  He looked at her.  "Watch."  One of them suddenly pounced and he ducked, knocking them down then got the other one coming up to help him.  Then the third when he walked closer with a pen held like a needle.  He straightened up and nodded at her.  She whimpered. "You're young.  It took me time to learn it too.  Now you can learn and some year you'll be teaching this for Tony and me."  She nodded. "Good.  Guys, want help up?"

Gibbs pushed himself up.  "How did you move that way?"

"The dance," a lot of people said.

"Dance?" Melissa asked.  "Like school?"

"No, I found a self defense style that starts as a dance and moved to physical and sword work.  I teach it to any GHS who wants to learn it."

"Wow.  Is it hard?"

"No!" he said, grinning at her.  "Only GHS seem to be able to do it.  I've got a whole set of DVD's to teach with.  I can mail you a set."  She beamed and nodded. "Okay, let's get back to work, guys."  He pulled Melissa over.  "The most common attack," he told the room.  "Is from behind.  Usually you're going to be stuck with something.  Usually a sedative.  If you can't get out of it there, they've got to redrug you at least once and when you wake up you *can* get out.  Waiting on Paul is nice but there's been times it's been weeks before we could find each other."  A few nodded at that. "Plus sometimes they won't be able to find you.  That's why you're your first line of defense.  If they come in, what do we do?"

"Kick their ass," Greg said from the back.

"That's right.  They tried to steal your ass, you kick theirs in return.  You make them beg to send you back and pay your ass because they were that stupid.  If you can get to a weapon, do it.  Bash their fucking heads in if you have to.  Most of these people are rich enough to have guards.  Bash the guards in or bash the head guy's head in then tell the guards to take you home.  Be the princesses we *all* are, people."  He smiled.  "Want to keep being a demonstration model?"  She shook her head and sat down.  "Okay.  For a frontal assault, meaning you're awake and they're walking into whatever room you're stuffed in, you can hit them anywhere you can reach.  Even if you're tied down!"  He pulled Greg up, walking him up there.  "Come at me.  I won't hurt you.  Greg and I practiced a lot when he was in Miami with us."  Greg walked in slowly and carefully.  Xander slowly hit at his pain centers.  "These areas will create a hell of a lot of pain.  Even if you're tied to the walls there's a good chance you're going to have your feet free.  Kick.  Bite.  Head butt."  He got a few nods.  "This is life-saving for us, guys."

"If you're free, there's better ways to get them down," Gibbs said, pulling Sanders over.  "These three areas," he said, pointing at the throat, lower stomach and groin, "create a lot of pain.  Bending over in pain sort of pain.  Hitting in the jaw is nice.  If you're strong enough to hurt him it's great.  Anyone, even a child, can hit someone in the adam's apple and choke them.  Or get them in the balls and they go down.  Male or female.  Women hurt there too and there's been women who've stolen people."  They nodded at that.  "There's a few other practical moves as well."  He put Greg into a choke hold.  "A common grab from behind technique.  Like I taught you, Sanders."  Greg kicked back then lunged forward with a twist to the hand side of his arm.  "Good!  Let's go over that slower."  He did it again and Greg did it slower.  "It won't always work if the person outmasses you or they're using both hands to do the chokehold."  He showed that variation. "This one you're lucky to get out of."  Greg elbowed him and kicked back at him, getting free.  "Basically like that.  If they're trained they can knock you out in forty- five seconds.  That's without drugs.  They can drug you while you're out."

Xander nodded.  "And have.  They got Tony out of the country that way.  They drugged his delivery food when he tried a new place."  Gibbs gave him a look.  "In Baltimore.  That's why he always orders from a new place when he's at the office first.  Not to make you guys paranoid but there's a good standard of us being taken and used.  To the people who want us, we're pets.  We're kitties and puppies for them to own, pet, and then put down when we're no longer fun to play with.  We don't want to lose you guys or visit your name on the shrine at a convention some year because no one has a clue where you are.  There's some simple precautions.  If you're order from a new place, do it at a time or place where you can be around people.  So if you pass out, someone's there.  At work, share an order with a neighbor.  Something like that.   If you're shopping or out alone, be aware of where you are.  Be aware of people behind you especially.

"It's not unheard of to knock one of us out then tell the other shoppers 'he passed out, let me get him to the car so I can take him home, can you help me lift him'.  Don had that done to him twice now and others of us were there.  He's an officer and he had it done to him.  They don't care what you do or what you know or who you know.  If you feel someone come up behind you, put your back against a wall so they can't grab you that way.  Wear a jacket that's damn hard to get a needle through.  I have a leather jacket I wear sometimes when I'm shopping.  You can't get a needle through it and Don would screw them up if they did since it's his jacket."  That got a few grins.  "Simple precautions.  Be aware.  If you're out jogging, go with a buddy.  Those of us in two-GHS relationships go together but still be aware if they figure out you both are they'll still get you both."

"They got Sanders and DiNozzo while they were out jogging one day," Gibbs agreed.  "They decided two was better than one and got the agent who was jogging with them.  They've gotten us all together on a case in the past.  The normal cops saved us that day.  That's another good point.  If you're in a place where you can feel comfortable with the local cops, talk to them!  If you're taken they're going to hear first."

"Most of them know anyway according to my cops," Xander told them.  "At least rumors of the group in Vice because they find us doing things like having sex in chocolate shops."  A few giggles and blushes at that.  "Or they find us when we're backlogged and the only way we have is the whorehouse and wearing out a few pros.  I was so backlogged, I was broadcasting while I was being worn out and got four Vice officers while I was in New York.  They knew about us, they understood and once they found out I was they left us alone.  The next day the boss came to find out how to weed it out of his guys.  They're not mad at us most of the time for being us.  We can't help it.  So if you know someone in your local department and you trust them, let them know.  Get them onto the FAQ page on the website.  You don't have to out yourself but say 'I have a former college friend who just joined this group, apparently it's a bad hormone condition she just found out she had'.  Then show them.  If they know, they'll look and ask you what level you are.  If not, they'll know something's going on in case something happens to you."

"That's why we added agents into the group's knowledge base," Gibbs told them.  "So you guys are a bit covered in some of the major areas you congregate.  We have agents who now know in Miami, LA, New York, Dallas, Chicago, Las Vegas, and a few of us in DC.  Sanders, myself, and DiNozzo are all at NCIS."

"My former lab in Las Vegas knows because I was outed," Greg said.  "If you're getting away from someone and are there, have the officer call them.  If they complain tell them you're a GHS and trying to get away.  They'll come help, get you medical attention, and help you do whatever you need to for filing charges and getting home.  Gris promised me he would and allll the nightshift knows.  If you're on days, Ecklie knew but he's not great.  Tell the officer, they might know too.  Especially after the last convention."  Xander grinned and waved.  "Yes, your fault for the spontaneous orgy during the greeting celebration.  We know that there's people who know in every major city in the US and most of Europe.  Most of the Middle East too.  Though they tend to stay out of it.  If you're being attacked, use whatever you can to get free.  Scream, kick, bite, whatever."

Melissa raised her hand. "Was that why I was warned to get a good security system?"

Xander nodded.  "You're a level nine, Melissa.  Yeah.  There's been level sevens and up stolen from their houses."  She slumped.  "Another good thing you can do to protect yourself is keep yourself out of backlogging.  The less you're giving off the less they want you.  They think you're a lower level or can't tell you are.  That's saved even my ass a few times and we all know I live on the edge of backlog all the time."  Melissa gaped.  "Long story.  Don't worry about it."

"Xander's got the highest count in generations," Adam said from his seat.  "Nearly ever.  We have one that floated up to the same level."

"The last time you took mine I was out of backlog."

"I know.  That's the scary part for you."  He stood up.  "We hold these lessons so you can learn what to do when they do come, because they even come for level ones.  We each have our methods."

"I may be a hell of a fighter, but even I've had to be rescued," Xander admitted.  They all nodded.  "Now, let's work on some of the most common hand-to-hand moves so you guys can get a feel for them.  If you want, we can run a more extensive lesson tomorrow or later."  They nodded, coming to the agents and Adam to get help with that.  He hugged Melissa.  "You don't have to become a hermit.  If you're careful you can go out.  I do.  Make your keeper or protector go out with you.  Hell, I hired an off duty cop to go around with me."

"I don't have that sort of money," she said with a grimace.  He smiled and stroked her cheek.  "I don't..."

"Shut up, Melissa.  I've got plenty and there's no way you're somewhere safe if you can't afford it."  She nodded.  "If you get a really good kidnaping reparation, you'll pay me back."  She nodded.  He wrote down a number.  "This is the guy I used to hire to go around with me.  He's a great guy.  A bit grumpy now and then.  If he can't do it, ask him to recommend someone.  Okay?"  She nodded.  "Also, I met Don because I picked him as my protector and gave him free room and board to live with me.  It wasn't sexual at first.  It doesn't have to be.  He can be like a bodyguard or a roomie.  The more people around you who know and understand, who can help you protect you, the better in the level nines and tens.  Otherwise we become hermits.  And then we get bored and our hormones go up," he finished with a small grin.  She nodded.  "Okay?"  She nodded again.  "Good girl.  Now, let's go over that move again."  He lunged and she blocked him.  "Good."  He did it again and she did something else.  He helped her learn that.  "There's a few good dojos in town too.  If you're not at backlog or near it you could take more lessons.  It's good and it keeps you in good shape."  She smiled and nodded.  "Definitely lean on the regional group.  There's a lot of us and some of us are higher levels too.  I loved the city-wide meetings."  He put her down and she struggled, making him smile.  Then she kicked him on the shoulder.  "Good!  Because that hurt!"  He laughed and let her up.  "Get with Twilla tonight."

"I will."  She gave him a hug.  "I need to go to the money management one, huh?"

"Yup."  He looked at his watch. "Guys, we're still running the second lecture this afternoon but the money management guy is in ten minutes," he called.  "He's not one of us so he's impatient."  They laughed and went to do that while he walked Melissa up to his room and got her something.  He pulled out one of his bags of poker money, taking it into the bathroom while she waited outside.  He considered it then nodded, taking it out to hand to her.  "Yours.  Make sure I didn't leave anything in it."  She gaped.   "What?  I made it playing poker, Melissa.  It's gas money."   He shrugged and gave her a hug.  "Hey, Ian..."  He picked it up and helped carry it.  "You know, you could make a really good shopping buddy."

"Don't even think about it," he teased back.  He helped her to her room, then walked her down to the lecture series once she had it hidden with her things.

"He really won that at poker?"

"He plays high stakes poker in Miami for fun," he admitted.  "He's good.  Very good.  Of course he plays with thugs so his family is very stressed out."

"It means they can't use it in their nefarious or drug plans," Xander quipped as he walked past them.  He grinned. "STEVE!"  He pounced him to hug. "Hi!"

"Hi, Xander."  He sat him down.  "Yes, you have to take this one as well."  Xander nodded, settling in so he could nap when Steve went into the funny money language again.  "Hi, guys.  I'm Steve Ellison.  I'm a financial consultant for Xander and a few others in the Miami family.  I have an MBA from Harvard and have done different things in the business community.  I do not take the place of an investment councilor for him, I'm the one who balances his checkbook for him.  If you need one I do work with a few that I trust.  I have no problem handing out their names."  They all nodded and Xander nodded more quickly.  "Speaking of, I know your cards are working, Xander."

"Cool.  I can finish holiday shopping."   A few of them laughed.  "Field trip!" he called.  "Tomorrow afternoon!"  He grinned at Steve.  "Want a new briefcase?"

"No. I'm still using last year's. You'll find something."  He smiled.  "How many of you need baseline investment help?  The IRA, money market fund, that level?"  A few hands raised.  "Okay then let's start there."  He got into a file on his computer, putting it on the screen behind him.  "This is a list of the various types of minor investments.  You put a few thousand and up into them.  You can start some of them with as little as two-hundred-fifty dollars."

"And they help on taxes," Xander said happily.

"They do help you pay less taxes for those with the dot in that box."  Steve smiled.  "Some of you are lucky enough to not care as long as your ATM card works.  Not all of you are that lucky however."  He pointed.  "This is an IRA, there's two types.  If you need more in- depth consults, I can do that tomorrow.  We're doing an overview today."  They nodded at that.  He smiled at his crowd and kept going over what they could do, the benefits and drawbacks of it.  Even some of the agents were taking notes.

***

Ian caught Xander, picking him up and turning him around then letting him go.  "No.  Not tonight.  There's a major protest two blocks up and you can't go.  Your boyfriends called Gibbs and said to keep you out of it."

"But...."

"No, Xander.  You could get hurt.  Don said he wanted you to stay in tonight."  He gave him a look.  "Go make present lists.  That way you know what you're getting people.  Or at least how many people you have to buy for."

"About half the world," he admitted.  "Please?  I was going to go shopping with a hired car."

"No," Don said from behind him.  "We busted three of them earlier for trying to take people.  Besides, Steve is looking for you."  Xander pouted, going to find him. "Protest?"

"At the consulate up the street."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "How did Flack get our numbers?"

"He's a cop, he probably looked them up in the system.  He probably had Gibbs' number."  He saw Steve and waved.  "Xander headed back toward the dining area."

"Thanks.  The protest?"

"They're trying to contain it."

"Even better.  Xander gets into some of the damdest trouble and places."  He went to find him and talk to him.  "Ah-ha!  There you are."  Xander grinned, waving him over where he was talking to Melissa.  "Hi, Steve Ellison."

"Melissa is our new local level nine, Steve."

"Welcome to the group, Melissa."  He dug into his cards.  "If you ever need him, talk to him.  He does baseline money watching for people all the way through investments for trust funds."  She nodded, tucking that into her purse.  He pulled Xander up.  "We have to talk to him about his money.   He forgot to pay the cable bill again."

"Don's supposed to."

"Uh-huh."  He walked him off, letting him wave at her.  She giggled.  "It's the backlog," he called back.  He got Xander into the elevator.  "Poker again, Xander?"

"I'm bored," he complained.  "Besides, I had to teach Ray one practical life skill."

Steve shook his head.  "Does Horatio know?"

"Yeah.  He's not happy but then again they found some of my poker buddies on some watch lists."

"Interesting."  He walked him off to his suite, letting him walk in first.  Then Steve used his stungun on the person in there.  Once he was down he called down to the lobby.  "Can you please send security up to the Sultan's suite?  I had to stungun someone.  Steve Ellison for Mr. Harris.  Thank you."  He hung up and sat Xander down, looking around until he found all the hidden poker money, whimpering.  "Did you get into another game?  I heard you left Miami with one bag!"

"Well, yeah.  I ran into an old acquaintance in DC.  It kept him from taking me," he said with a grin.  "That's why I let Ian drive after Pennsylvania."

Steve sighed, letting in Gibbs when he knocked.  He pointed.  "Did you know Xander played poker in your city too?"

"Yeah, it kept the sheik's son from taking him again."  He looked at the bags.  "Charitable donations?"

"No.  Mine.  Gas money and present money."

"Epps was joking about needing an SUV like yours," he teased with a smirk.

"I'll see."  Gibbs laughed, helping carry the guys out to be arrested.  He shook his head.  "He's good for Tony and Greggy."  He crossed his legs and looked at him.  "I haven't put it into the bank yet."

"I know that, Xander.  Did you claim it on your taxes?"

"The IRS guy said I had to.  Said it was taxable non-earned income."

"What did you put down as occupation?"

"Househusband/bedroom pet."

"No wonder we're getting an audit!"

Xander grinned.  "The guy who helped me fill it out did that.  He said he couldn't put on professional illegal poker player or shopper."  He shrugged.  "He signed it."

"I'll have the audit teams call him up," he said, settling in to count the money.  "Well, I can diversify again," he said dryly.

"Presents," he said weakly.

"Fine.  Presents.  Try to save at least ten percent."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "What is Horatio getting?"

"A gift for the lab.  Ryan too."  Steve smiled at that.  "That way they can have happy couples and can pick out useful stuff.  Plus a gift card for themselves."  That got a nod.  "Anyway, I tried really hard to be a good boy."

"Try harder, Xander."  He patted him on the head.  "What sort of checks did you want this time?"  Xander shrugged.  "Cartoon or not?"

"I don't care.  Let Don pick.  It's his turn.  I picked last time and Danny got the one before then."

"I'll do that."  He stroked over his hair.  "Were you safe?"

"I even went armed," he said proudly.  Steve shook his head at that.  "I was good."

"Fine.  The weapons thing?"

"It's going.  I'm not finding much that I like a whole lot.  We'll see.  I submitted my first story to one of the porn companies."

"I heard.  Maybe someday you'll work your way up to writing other stuff."  Xander grinned.  "Don wanted to talk about the island?"

"What am I doing with it?"

"What do you want to do with it?"

"It was either keep it or see if Jace wanted it for the resort."

"I'll ask her, see if she wants to."  Xander grinned.  "You'd still keep the main house.  The guest house has good suites for holiday travel from what I've seen and heard.  Blessing it would be easy enough."  He stroked over his hair again.  "Then what?"

"Then...  Well, it's Miami.  Who knows."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "Where were you sneaking out to?"

"Um....  I wanted pizza."

"We can do that."  Xander grabbed some money and they headed out togther once the bags were put back.  They ran into Don.  "Going for pizza with him."

"You want a guard?"

"No, we should be fine," he promised.  Don nodded at that.  They walked out together and Steve flinched at the feeling of quickening.  "Damn it."

"There's so many of us here it's not funny," he reminded him, walking him off.  "It'll be fine.  If they want us that much they'll try to pounce.  If it's the one from last night he'll really try to pounce."  He shrugged and looked at him.  "You're still the family's student."  Steve smiled at that.  They walked past an alley and someone grabbed Xander, pulling him inside.  "Whoa!  Don't touch."  He looked at him.  "What do you want, Kremps?"

"Your head.  What else would I want?  No man should have hair like that."

"My boys like it.  Leave Steve alone.  He's still a student."

"The game doesn't work like that."

Xander pulled one of his pins out and undid the shrinking spell, waving him on.  "Teacher's right."  The man sneered and lunged but Xander beat him back further into the alley.  "Steve, stay."  He kept going, playing with the guy while he wore himself out.  Xander did one of his fancier dance moves, end up behind the guy then kicking him with a foot to the lower back.  "Hmm.  Not very good, Kremps.  Your teachers must be pissed."  He growled and lunged again.

"What the hell is going on!" Don yelled.

"Shut up!  You're taking my concentration!" Xander yelled back.  He still took his head.  He waved them off.  "Back!"  They backed up when the energy started to gather around him.  He let it hit him and calmed himself.  Letting it sink in.  Letting it flow through him.  He sighed as it stopped, looking at them.  "Okay then."  He walked over and looked at Steve.  "Don't you dare tell them."

"Let me call."  He called Adam. "It's Steve.  Kremps just challenged Xander.  Usual result."  He hung up.  "You good?"

"Hyper.  Damn I hate taking heads."

Don tapped him on the shoulder.  "What.  Was.  That?" he snarled.

"That was a different group that some of us belong to," Xander said honestly.  "I'm an immortal.  So was he.  That's the only way we die.  He challenged me.  If I had been sucky tonight he would've taken mine."  Don stared.

Ian coughed.  "You're like that Vachones guy?"

Xander shrugged.  "Never met most of us.  Now and then we run into each other and one feels violent.  I don't usually have to because I'm a berserker."  Gibbs walked in with Adam.  "Couldn't shake him?"

"No."

Gibbs looked then at him.  "We've seen a few of those in DC."

"Who's been there?"

"Connor," Adam said dryly.  He shook his head.  "He's still drawing others."

"Well, that one tried last night but we were in public.  This time he pulled me into the alley.  Pity he challenged me.  Pizza, Steve?"

"How can you do that?" Don asked.

Xander looked at him.  "It's a brutal thing but it was him or me.  I'll mourn over him later.  Right now, I want to get out of this alley before we draw his people's attention.  I *really* don't want to explain this in an interrogation room."  They nodded, taking them to the hotel to talk about it while Adam got the mess cleaned up.  Gibbs stayed with him.  Xander looked at them once they were settled again.  "Immies have been around long before written history.  One of our oldest is five thousand and some."

"So you've done this for generations?" Don asked.

Xander nodded.  "Way back when someone started this prize thingy within the game.  The last one apparently gets some skills or something.  Don't know what.  Don't care what.  Not what I deal with.  I've got plenty of gifts.  Some people think it makes them a regular person again.  I don't know."

"No one does," Steve admitted.  "There's about eight hundred immortals around the world.  The only way to not fight is to be on holy ground when you're challenged."

"Are you?" Ian asked.

"I'm not that old but yes.  We die a first death then change over."

Xander did something at the door and it blocked it.  "Eavesdropper, just in case."  Don went to check, walking Melissa off telling her it wasn't a GHS thing, it was a Miami issue.  She relaxed again and nodded.  He came back.  "He challenged me.  It was him or me, guys.  I wasn't about to die for him to gather what I am.  Or let him take Steve, which is what he wanted to do."  Steve shuddered.  Gibbs and Adam walked in.  "We good?"

"We're fine."  He gave Xander a hug.  "Did he score?"

"Not once."  He looked at them.  "The self-defense style I have is unlike anything the others have ever seen.  It helps me stay in shape and defend myself against normal and irregular threats.  There's plenty of us who don't give a damn.  There's also hunters who go out hunting our heads.  There's ones who only hunt the bad guys and there's ones who hunt anything that moves with a quickening."

"Quickening?" Ian asked.

"The light show," Steve told him.  "He's not fully lost, his quickening got sucked up by Xander."  Xander nodded.  "Usually it makes us horny and jumpy.  Xander somehow channels it into the ground or something."

"I ground myself like I do when I'm doing magic," Xander admitted.

"So all this has been going on forever?" Gibbs asked.

"There's people who cover it up," Adam told him.  "They're the ones who came to get the body."  He looked at Xander.  "You're sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine.  It's been eight months since I had to take one, Adam.  Really."

"Fine."  He looked at them.  "We're everywhere and there's no way to tell us apart from others unless you catch us healing."

"You heal?" Gibbs asked.  Xander nodded.  "That faster healing that Wolfe said," he said, catching on.  Xander nodded.  "That's why we have the one-to-ten ratio?"

"It's just about that with me.  Some heal faster, some heal slower," Xander admitted.

"If he heals too much he has this nasty little brain tumor that grows, makes him backlog in bad ways, and makes him want to do stupid things," Adam said.

"Alexx checked.  It's miniscule according to her.  I'm bored."  He stood up.  "We were going to go for pizza.  You guys want some?"

"How can you eat?" Don asked.

Xander looked at him.  "That mess in LA, Don.  Do you think that was the first time I've had to kill something to get free?"  He went pale and took a step back.  "The time I was living in town and got taken for four months I got taken to a battle ring by the same sorts of beings as the ones in LA.  I spent that four months kicking ass so I wouldn't die.  If it comes down to them or me, I'm going to choose me.  No matter what.  No matter who.  If you guys tried to kill me I'd react then too.  I'm practical as well as slutty and bouncy."  Don shook his head at that.  "For that matter, I was on the protection patrol back in Sunnydale.  I've been hunting those things since I was sixteen.  Now I'm a bit better skilled for it.  I didn't lay down and die when I was tortured I'm not doing it now."  He shrugged.  "Sorry but no."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Most of us react."

"He was number six hundred and some that I'm aware of, Don.  I'm still a berserker; I have no idea how many there were in LA or the last time I had to lose it.  Besides, I'll have nightmares all night and be sick later," he admitted.  "I don't let myself be seen as weak in front of anyone, not even family.  Even those who might understand."

"I can see why," Ian agreed.  "You're one of those who hold the flag of the battle."

Adam nodded.  "He is.  That's why now and then they come for him.   He's young, fairly open about his other sides.  He holds a strong family together down in Miami with some of them."

"And you?" Don asked.

"No comment."

"How many in the group?"

"Seventeen?" Xander asked.

"Fifteen.  Two lost battles in the last year."

"Are we going toward another gathering?"

"Some think so.  We don't."

"That's good because Giles had research saying it wasn't going to happen when they had me."

"He was doing it for Connor," he agreed.  "We'll see, young one.  Steven..."

"I've been learning from the people in Cascade," he defended.

"Fine.  You need more time with the family."

"Out of your family, how many?" Don asked quietly.  Xander looked at him.  "Just between us, kid.  I don't want to have to worry about you guys."

"Five.  We've got a cooperative teaching thing going.  Most of the ones in Miami are peaceful so we just shrug and walk off when we meet each other."

"Can the non-GHS do that dance style?" Ian asked.

"I haven't met anyone who could," Xander admitted.  "You have to be a bit flexible.  I know Adam can't do it."  Adam swatted him.  "Pizza?  I'm starved."  They nodded, following him out.  He gave Steve a nudge on the shoulder.  "At least I did what I'm supposed to and set up a safe spot for the next life."

"You did.  I'm incredibly happy, Xander."  He smiled at him.  "Even if I did have to do it for you."

Xander shrugged.  "Does the guy in Miami do good?"

"No.  I'm about to travel down to kick his ass in person."

"Okay."  He grinned.  "Can I watch?"

"Sure."  He put an arm around his shoulder, walking off with him.  They nodded at the officer outside the hotel.  "Problems?"

"Making sure the protest hasn't spread, sir."

"No, we're mostly in the movie room," Xander said happily.   He looked at him.  "You worked with Don."

"I did.  Xander."  He smiled.  "How is he?"

"He's good but he was on this weekend so he couldn't come with me.  He promised to take a long ride on his bike."

"Bike?"

"Yeah, I got him a bike two years ago."

"Wow.  I'm sure he's happy with it.  Tell him to call his parents?"

"I can do that too.  Now, why are you really here?"  The detective laughed.  "I play poker with thugs.  Against Don's wishes but I do."

"Fine.  We're watching the hotel.  Just in case.  Kremps wanted us to."

"We do know that Kremps tried to bother me last night when I was playing poker?"

"Yeah, he said that."  He gave him a look.  "Any idea where he is?"

"Not at the moment.  Saw him earlier when he wanted to bother me again," Xander admitted.  That got a nod and they walked off.  He looked at Adam, who shook his head.  "Am I getting a large pizza and sharing or not?"

"We'll get slices so we don't have to worry about what you want on it," he said dryly.

"Steve's the one who eats pineapple."

"We'll see what we want," Adam promised.  A few guys with guns stepped out in front of them.  "Hmm."

"Channeling Horatio?" Xander asked.

"Yes, he would not be pleased."

"Money or your lives," one shouted.

Xander looked at him.  "There's no need to shout.  None of us are deaf."  The man glared at him.  "There's not.  We're generally nice people."   The man menaced him with his gun.  "Hmm, I have three of those.  Do you find you have a problem with the trigger sticking or is it the humidity down in Miami?"

"It's probably the humidity," Don said.  "Guys, we should probably be cooperative victims."

"Yeah," Xander said, giving him a look.  One of the guys got into his face.  "Oh, please!  My boyfriend's tougher than you are."  He gave him a shove then kicked his ass, then the other guy.  He looked at the last one.  "I can shoot you."  He ran.  "Bye!  Thanks for the bit of exercise!  I needed it!" he called after him.  He walked over one guy, walking off shaking his head.  "Stupid kids."  He pulled Steve with him.  "Come on.  So you can tell me how we're going to arrest the guy you have handling stuff."

"Sure," he said, looking back at the thugs. "Are we going to leave them there?"

"Yeah.  If they want to be in the underworld they can be prey for the higher predators."  He shrugged.  "Predator hierarchies are like that."  He grinned.  "It was kinda fun.  No one tries to mug me in Miami."  They walked into the pizza place and he sighed in pleasure.  "One of you guys need to move to Miami for all the New Yorkers down there."  The guy at the counter laughed.  "Give me three of pepperoni and green peppers and whatever they want?"

"Drinks?"

"I should be good.  Diet pepsi?"  He nodded.  The others ordered and Steve had to get the tax.  "Next time I'll get more money from the bags."

"Bags?" Ian asked.

"Yeah, I had seven."

"I didn't see them."

"He can hide them," Steve said blandly.  "He does it from all of us now and then."  They walked over to the table.  "He has this bad problem with winning poker games.  He won about six mil one weekend."  Xander beamed.

"You were peeved because he didn't put it into the bank," Adam said dryly.

"Well, yes.  That and the millions worth of jewels that were laying around the house until Don found out and did the sensible thing."  He sipped his soda.  "He gives me ulcers, Adam."

"We do heal, young one."

Xander snickered.  "He says the same thing about me too," he said proudly.  "Then I give Ray ideas."

"Which make your mates nearly die at work," Adam reminded him.

"And yours too."

"And mine too," Adam agreed.  "He looked very good as the pure thing I needed to debauch."  He took a sip of his drink and they went back to eating.  He held Don back when they left.  "Yes, Miami is like this."

"Glad I live in LA then."

"Not too many of us live there.  This city and Paris seem to be one every few blocks."  He nodded at one, who gave him an odd look.  "GHS convention."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Who's the gay boy?"

"Xander."

"Ah.  Him."  He shuddered.  "Never mind."

"Probably a good idea.  He's the other's teacher."  That got a nod and he walked off again. "As you can see."  They walked back, him making sure Xander went back to his room.  He looked in on his poker winnings and groaned, walking off shaking his head.  "Nothing too shiny for the holidays, Xander," he called before the door shut.

Xander snorted.  "Bet me," he called.  He laid down to roll around and play with himself.  He really did need to wear some of that extra energy out.  Without his boys here and Tony and Greggy being on their own he didn't have anyone to play with.

***

Xander drove past the 'Welcome to Miami' sign and saw a familiar shadow behind it.  He smiled when the purple bike and his rider started to follow him.  He thought about pulling over but Don wouldn't let his bike be put into the trunk.  So he kept going, teasing him by getting off on the wrong exit to go through a drive-thru place for dinner.  Then he continued on.  He paused before he got to the gates, checking himself over.  He saw the bike sneak past him while he was paused, giving him a good look at his boy's backside.   He laughed and finished popping the zit that had come up that morning.  Then he drove into his community and up to his house, parking in the garage.  He got out, noticing the house was silent.  He blinked.  "Spots, I'm home!" he called.  No dogs.  Xander didn't want to be paranoid.  He saw Don's bike, covered and everything and grimaced.  "Let's hope they're asleep."  He put his hand on his gun anyway, just in case he had been wrong about it being Don on the bike.  He slowly walked inside. "Spots?  Boys?"  He walked into the living room, finding Don lounging on the couch.  "You don't answer?"

"Not to the dogs' name," he said with a smirk.  "Hand over the gun, Xander."  He did that.  "Good boy."  He pulled him down on top of him.  "Hmm.  Didn't eat the dinner you got?"

"I didn't think I'd have the energy to cook tonight."

"Good thing Danny is, huh?"  He teased his stomach, then up into his hair, removing all the hairpins.   Xander moaned at that.  Don liked him to be unarmed at home.  He took another kiss.  "Have fun in New York?"

"Some.  Got challenged."  He shrugged.  "Your old partner said to call him."

"I will."

"And your dad."

"I can do that too."  He finished disarming him and kissed him, moving a hand up to his neck, nearly tapping him with it.  Instead he found his arm pinned to the side of the couch and Xander staring at him.  "What?"

"Sweetie, Don tastes very good.  He's also going to kill you for riding his bike."  The incubus gave him a dumb look.  Xander nodded. "Yeah.  He is."  He tapped the phone's picture button for Don.  "I'm home and so are you?"

"No, I'm at the station stuck doing paperwork.  By the way, the pets went home with Ray Junior last night.  How am I home?"

"He's not me!" he shouted.

"I'm thinking incubus," Xander admitted.  "Is your bike with you?"

"Yeah.  Is it there too?"

"Yup.  He even disarmed me like you do."

"It's self defense from your hairpins, Xander."  Don's voice moved away from the phone.  "Guys, apparently I'm home?"  Someone in the background swore.  "Frank's coming, Xander.  Just in case he's a normal thing."

"Sure.  Love you."

"How was the poker game in New York?"

"Well...." Xander said, shifting to hold the body down.  "It went.  He got mad that I won a game he dealt.  I freaked him out when I called my gun back over.  So it went.  Nothing came of it.  Oh, your dad and your former partner wanted a call.  He said so after we freaked out the Feds after a challenge.  Then we went for pizza while Steve nagged."

"Steve nagged why?" he asked calmly.  "You win that much?"

"No and he paid me in funny money but I ran into someone who wanted me before and we played poker so he wouldn't take me in DC.  So I have gas money.  Love you.  Bring dinner or should I?"

"No, you can order dinner and come eat with us, babe.  Soon.  Please."

"Okay."  He hung up and looked at the guy.  "See, that's my Don."  Frank walked in with his gun in hand. "Hi, Frank."

"Hi, Xander."   He looked at the stuff on the floor.  "Nothing on you?"

"I'm never totally disarmed, Frank."

"Good point, kid."  He pressed something against his neck, knocking him out.  "You couldn't take him?"

"No!" he said.  "He knew!"

"Well, now they all will."  They disappeared with Xander.

Incie, Blinky, Succie, Boo

Don checked his watch.  "Okay, it's been an hour.  Either that wasn't Frank or it was a major thing."  He stood up.  The head of the unit glared at him and pointed at his chair.  "Frank went to save Xander over an hour ago and he's not back yet."

"Your boy can take care of himself."

"He's disarmed!  Besides, no Frank either."  He pointed at his desk.  He grabbed his jacket and headed to the lab, leaning into one of them.  "Hey, Ryan."  Ryan grinned at him.  "Might need you.  Frank went to save Xander over an hour ago.  Neither's here yet."

"Uh-huh," he said slowly.  "Interesting."

Don looked at him.  Something wasn't right about Ryan.  "Xander said there was a not me there.  Let's see the tattoo, Wolfe."

"What tattoo?"

Don looked up.  "Speed!"  He came out of a lab up the hallway.  "We had a not-me at the house that Xander called about.  Frank went to rescue him and hasn't shown up in the last hour, and when I told Ryan he said 'interesting'.  I asked about his tattoo and he said 'what tattoo'."  When the guy tried to move he pinned him against the table.

"Huh."  He came to look then shook his head.  "No, not there."  He took Don's cuffs and cuffed him.  "Well, want to tell us?"

"You'll never get him back now.  He'll be one of us."

Don snickered.  "Yeah," he said dryly.  "Because others haven't said the same thing and lost."

"We have him now."

"Interesting,"  Speed said.  The demon faded out, letting the cuffs drop to the ground.  He sniffed.  "Sulphur."

"Want to hit the books now or later?"

"How do you hunt these things?"

"You know, I don't know," Don admitted.  "Xander talked about patrol."  He looked up.  "Can we have a clue?" he called quietly.  A book fell beside him.  "Thanks, Vesvold."  The demon appeared, looking confused.  "I asked for a clue about what has Xander this time."

He looked at the book then at him.  "Incubus."  He shook his head.  "Get done and we'll make sure you can get to their realm so you can beat them for us.  I do not like them."  He disappeared.

Don opened the book, smiling at the information.  "Hmm.  Holy water."

"Well, H is Catholic."

"That'll work, so am I," Don said, walking out with the book.  "Two hours?"

"Sure."  He went to finish up and tell the others.  "Eric, go look over everything Ryan did earlier since it wasn't him."

"Why?"

"It was an incubus."

"No, I saw the tattoo this morning.  Then when he had to change at lunch."

"Then check from then on, Delko.  It wasn't him a minute ago and he was screwing with evidence."

"What was he?" Calleigh asked.

"Incubus.  Frank too apparently."  He shrugged.  "They wanted Xander and Ryan."  He walked off, going to find Horatio.  "Can you go get us some holy water?"  Horatio moaned, hanging up the phone. "Sorry, important?"

"Phone company.  They forgot to credit my payment.  Why?"

"Because Wolfe wasn't Wolfe, Frank wasn't Frank, and Xander came home to a not-Don that took him back to their world.   That's what the book says to use."

"When did this happen?"

"Few minutes ago."  Someone downstairs shrieked.  "Huh."  He looked out.  "What happened?"

"Danny sprayed me!" Boa Vista yelled.

"With holy water," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "Something you wanted to admit?"

"You're a moron and you messed up my clothes?" she said snidely.

Danny stepped closer.  "You know our boy, right?"  She sneered and nodded.  "You do know he used to hunt with a slayer?"  She went pale.  "And since we just found out Tripp and Wolfe were both taken this time...."

"Not cute anyway.  Some of us aren't after him."

"Some of you suck too," he said dryly.  "How long have you been turned."

"You can't prove anything."

Danny held up something.  "Xander's DPP summoning necklace."  She made a snatch for it.  "Go tell Horatio now.  Before I have to call someone and ask."  She stomped off to complain to Horatio.  He looked up at Speed, tossing it to him. He smirked as he caught it, strolling into the office as well.  Danny went to spray the others.

DC backed away from him.  "You already know I'm sleeping with a plant demon.  I don't need burns."

"Shouldn't."

"Um..."

"Still shouldn't unless it's you too or she's tainting you."

"She might be tainting me.  She's young and wasn't sure.  I'll tell H."

"Yeah, you will.  Any others?"

"You do know that the ruby hairband he wears is demonic in nature?"

"Yeah.  Vesvold gave it to him."

"Wow."  He just nodded.  "What has him this time?"

"Incubus."

"Eww.  Slutty sex demons.  Even I have more taste than that."

"Yeah.  Any ideas?"

"Good luck and ignore them.  If they get you you're gone."

"Gee, thanks.  Boa Vista?"

"Succubus but I think she's only half or something."  He shrugged.  "She's good at it but doesn't eat your soul."

"Charming."  He walked off to spray the others.  One other ran to tell Horatio on himself.  He even checked Alexx who gave him a 'you'd better run' look.  "Xander got taken by an incubus and so did Wolfe and Tripp."

"Uh-huh," she said flatly.  "My husband isn't that happy."

"Just checking."  She waved at him so he walked off smiling.  She'd get him back some other time.  He went to hand it to Don, who sprayed the others.  One other one shrieked and popped off.  "Huh.  Wonder if he knows."  He walked off shaking his head.

Don called Adam.  "Where's your boy?"  He listened to him say he was at home, where he was supposed to be.  "Because there was a not-him just here, Adam.  Incubus.  Yeah, has Xander.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Ray's fine.  He's at home."  He finished his portion of the paperwork and handed it in then left.  Speed met him outside.  "Just you?"

"Eric's fuming.  H isn't happy either.  Danny's still on shift.  Looks like it."  He took the book to look at.  "Okay, so generally ignoring the lust demons and then finding them."  He shrugged. "Holy water?"

"H?"

"Growled when he heard why."  Don held up the small bottle.  "Let's get some more."

"Sure."  They headed back to the house to get stuff to hold holy water in.  Then Don got the bright idea to look in Ryan's closet since that's where Xander put all his hunting equipment.  He found the jugs marked holy water and the super soakers.  "Not subtle, but okay."  He brought them downstairs, handing Horatio one since he was there. "Let me change."  He went to do that, coming out in his usual riding jeans and leather jacket.  "Easier to move in," he said at the look Speed gave him.

"I can see that."  He handed him his sword, getting a nod.  "Think silver would work?"

"Depends on what else is up there," Don said happily, going to grab him some from the practice room.  He brought them back, loading his own gun as well.  Horatio gave them a look.  "Coming?"

"No.  Are you sure you two should go?  You're both lower level GHS.  They could want you."

"Then why take Wolfe and Tripp?" Speed asked him.  He looked at him.  "By the way, Horatio's eyes are a bit darker."  The thing smoked up and faded.  "Uh-huh."

"So we don't have surprise.  Yay us."  They finished loading up and looked up.  Vesvold sent them with a guard.  "Hi."

"Hi.  What happened?"

"Xander."

"The incubus wanted him to join them?  The Council told them to leave him alone since he was a hunter."  They walked out of the portal to another one.  "This is their realm.  It's not pretty.  Ignore them."  They looked at him.  "I'm not allowed, boys."

"That's fine," Don said happily. "Anything we didn't get by skimming?"

"If they trap you you have to repudiate them.  If they do, that's really hard to do.  Then you're food or one of them.  Depending on the mood of the one doing it."

"Even better," Speed agreed.  That got a nod and the guard left.  They walked in the front door of the club, nodding at the bouncer.  The guy opened his mouth. "Try it.  One of you came down trying to be my mate.  I'm talking to him."

"That's fine, still no weapons."

Don snickered and shot him with holy water, making him scream. "Pretty sounds," he said happily.  He walked on, finding the whole club writhing in one big mound of people.  The floor was carved out into a bowl shape so the ones in the center were literally being pressed together.  They scanned from the railing.  No Xander.  They found Wolfe or someone who looked like him.  "We need a sniper rifle," Don said over the heavy techno music.

"Won't work."  He beeped Ryan from his phone, watching him slap his pocket.  Ryan followed the order to look up and did, then groaned.  He pointed beside him.  Ryan came running up and Don looked at his shoulder while Speed shot him.  "Are you H's or theirs?"

Ryan moaned.  "Speed, please don't?"

"Ryan, choose," Don ordered.  "Ares and us or them.  They have Xander and Tripp."

"Tripp's in the back room," he said, holding his stomach.  "Come on, guys.  It can be better than this.  We have fun."

Speed smacked him on the head.  "I learned that from DiNozzo."  Ryan pouted at him, shifting closer.  "Try it."  Ryan moaned, shifting even closer, nearly nuzzling his throat now.  Don sprayed them both, making Ryan yelp.  "Wolfe!"

"Oh, god, it'll hurt.  Badly.  I'll have to go back to it.  Huh?"

"Yeah."  He walked him off.  "Show us to Tripp and Xander, Wolfe.  We'll help you."

Ryan nodded.  He nodded at the two guys. "I'm initiating.  Aren't they yummy?"  The guard let them back, giving their backsides a long look.  "Mine," Ryan growled.  The guard laughed.  At least until Don shot him.  "Wow.  You do that so much better than Xander did."

Don grinned.  "You sound like an airhead."

"It's the sex, dude.  It wears it out of you," a male voice said, sounding tired.  "Hunters?"

Don looked at him.  "Are you?"  He nodded, his head thumping back down.  Don handed him his spare super soaker and spare gun.  "Silver.  Holy water."

"Love you for it."  He shot the thing trying to feed off him.  "Bitch."  He nodded. "That way."

"Thanks.  Front door's back through the club."

"Explosives?"

"No, that's Xander," Speed said with a smirk.  He followed Ryan's bouncing butt.  "I'm so picking on him for that."

Don gave him a look.  "He'll probably beat himself up and go on a fast to renew himself in Ares' spirit or something."  He shot another one that tried for him. "Not yours."  He found Tripp and got him free, smacking him on the face until he woke up.  "Morning!" he said loudly.

"Fuck off.  Hangover," he muttered.

"Yeah, from the sex demon.  You happier here?"

"No.  Kinda tired."  He let Speed haul him up.  "Gimme?"

"Hell no," Speed said.  "Not until you wake up."  They kept going, finding them feasting on a few others.  Don and Speed broke them up, freeing their guests.  No Xander.  The guy they freed first came to help them.  They kept going, finding Xander in a back room.  Velvet covered everywhere.  Only pillows and three female sex demons using them to molest their boy.

"Cheating on us?" Don asked.  The one who wasn't him but was trying really hard hissed.  He shot him.  He screamed.  Others tried to come that way, letting Speed get them up.  "Xander!"  He pulled him up, shaking him.  "Look at me."

"Baby," he cooed, kissing him.  He blinked at him then hissed at the things behind him.  "See, poor imitations."  He looked at him. "I'm not in backlog.  I bled some off and let them eat it.  They're probably sick as hell."  He looked at Ryan, pulling him over to kiss him.  "My cute ass and Ares' cute ass or not, Ry?"

Ryan groaned, holding his stomach. "Hurts," he complained.

Xander smiled, kissing him again.  "I'm better."  Ryan soaked it in.  "Come on, we'll get you detoxed back at home."  He walked out, leading the way.  He looked at his hands then shrugged and pulled something out of his pocket.  "Sorry, went shopping at the magic places.  Got some stored stuff."  He used it to conjure a fireball, wiping out the hallway's demons.  The non-demons stared at him.  "Morning."

"Who're you?" one demon demanded from a room.

"Harris.  From Sunnydale.  You're all fucked."  They ran.   One guy laughed.  He looked at him.  "Doorway's this way, guys."  He led them out, pausing at the club.  The song was about to change so he held them up until it did.  Then they walked around the edges.  He knocked out the guard again then got to the portal, looking at the guard. "Morning."

"He's one of them."

"I'm going to detox him.  Like Ares would let one of his chosen be a bimbo sex demon!" he said dryly.

"Xander, you can't let him out.  More could come."

Xander looked at Ryan.  "Vow it as his priest, Ryan Wolfe, or else lose your favored status," he ordered, staring him down.

He fell to his knees, grabbing his stomach.  "To Ares I belong.  Body, blood, and soul.  He will do with me as he wants.  I am his to command."  He took a deep breath and the pain was easing.  "I am his sword, one of many, and will not let myself get too vainglorious in his image or if he chooses to favor me.  I am not immortal but I will act as though I am in his service so that I can win him honor and best those who do not understand what it is."  He stood up with Don's help.  "I will protect those that need it for it is a warrior's job to fight wars, not innocents, and I shall not draw them into it.  All hail Ares' name and godhood."  He groaned, doubling over again.  He repeated it over and over until the pain in his shoulder was worse than the pain in his stomach.  Because this sucked badly.   His shoulder's tattoo lit up, he could see the glow.  He muttered his usual prayer to him, making it settle down.  Xander helped him up.  "Can I have some tylenol now?"

"Fine," the guard said.  "Finish detoxing him.  It's clear he ate or drank something."  He let them through, looking at the others.  "Heading to Miami?"

"We can get them where they need to go," Xander promised with a grin and a cheek pat.  "Love you for being so scowly."  He snorted but let them go.  Xander turned and looked then muttered something, draining the artifacts he had on him.  The whole club shrieked in horror.  He walked off smirking.  "No one fucks with me.  It'll take a good, long time for them to get out of the magical cock rings."  He created a new portal once they were on another demon plane, shoving the others through it.  Then they went home.  He flopped down on the couch. "Pets?"

"Ray Junior last night when we had to stay at the precinct," Don said, flopping down next to him.  "Wolfe, go finish detoxing."

Xander pulled him over, wincing at the pain he was feeling.  "I hate that feeling."  Strife appeared.  "Hi.  How are you?"

"Amused," he said, dragging Ryan with him.  "We'll be back."

"Sure.  Thanks."  He waved then he pounced Don.  "Leather," he said, sniffing his throat.  "They were pitiful trying to be you and Danny.  One even tried to be Sonny and I laughed at him until he walked off pouting.  One tried to be Horatio and I laughed at him too."  He took another sniff then a lick, getting a moan for it.  He got sprayed by Speed, getting a dirty look back.  "I let them drain me.  Please!  Like I need to be more of a bimbo?"  He went back to molesting his Don.

Speed smirked, heading back to work with Frank.  He handed him to Horatio since he was outside.  "Welcome.  They make a pitiful you too.  Xander agreed with me."  He walked back inside, going to tell Danny his boys were back.  He got sprayed and swatted him on the head when he found him fixing things.  He smirked evilly.  "They're fine.  Wolfe's being detoxed."  He walked off, going back to work.

Danny looked at his back then went back to doctoring the hand sanitzer dispensers with holy water.  That way they'd know before Xander got taken next time.  Horatio stopped him and made him walk off.  "But..."

"No, Daniel.  Go back to work so you can go home and pounce your boy later."  Danny went back to work.  He had to wrap up his case tonight.  All he needed was a report.  Horatio finished the doctoring himself.  He did not want any demons in his lab.  Then he went to talk to Stella and Mac, bringing some of the doctored solution.  Mac gave him an odd look when he caught him installing it.  "I knew you were running low."

"Prank?"

"Holy water."

Mac paused then nodded.  "Reason?"

"Incubuses and succubuses.  We have Frank, Ryan, and Xander back though."

"Interesting."  He used it just in case then went to help him install the rest of them.  He didn't want demons in his lab either.  Stella gave them odd looks when she walked past.  "We have Xander back from the incubuses."

"Uh-huh.  Did he feed them by broadcasting so he's not in backlog anymore?"

"That's not a bad idea," Horatio admitted.  Ryan suddenly appeared in his fighting leathers.  "That is not work appropriate, Mr. Wolfe."

"Um, sorry, H.  Ares just had to pull me up to kick my ass verbally."  He shrugged.  "I'm going to Xander's so I'll change there then get back to work."  He hurried out, his sword on his back.

Mac looked at Horatio.  "They're talking about giving us our lab back and adding another one.  Want to transfer back to New York and the sane people?"

"With as many GHS and immies as are up there?" he asked quietly.

"Good point.  LA?"

"Might be nice.  Pretty.  We'd have to deal with Angel again though."

"We can do that.  That's not that hard."

"Hmm.  Let me consider it and talk to Speed later tonight."

"Sure.  You do know I caught him Gibbs-smacking someone?"

Horatio smiled.  "He claims he learned it off Tony."  They finished with the installation then they went to their offices to finished paperwork.  Speed walked his file in.  "How do you feel about LA?"

"I'm pretty enough but Eric isn't and he'd pick up something bad from one of the wannabe starlettes.  Then we'd have to listen to him complain while he healed from whatever funky VD they're carrying."  He walked off.  "I like Miami, H."

"Fine," he muttered.  Xander sent him a text message, making him laugh.  "Sure, you can help us clean out the demons so they leave you alone, Xander."  He got back to work, listening to a few people shriek when they used the hand sanitizer.  Ryan walked in wearing normal clothes but his leather vest.  "Cold?"

"Ordered."  He handed over what he had.  "I'll go see what it did wrong."  He went to do that, taking it from Eric.  "Thanks."

"Where were you?"

"Their realm is like a big club where everyone's getting some," he said dryly.  "Even me." he got back to work at the glare.  "Not my fault."

"Uh-huh.  We'll be talking later, Wolfe.  Including your ass in that sling of yours."  He walked off, making unholy plans of his own.  He had to splutter when Danny sprayed him. "Hey!"

"Making sure," he said happily.  "Because you had that unholy look and we don't need tainted."  He walked off, looking at Ryan.  "You good?"

"Now.  Thanks."

"Welcome.  Xander?"

"Out of backlog."

"Hallelujah."  He went to be happy about that on his break then got back to work after a few minutes of mental dancing.  Not like he'd do it in public.

Horatio shook his head but he was smiling.  His people were good, but insane.  Maybe that's what made them so good?  Either that or it was Xander's fault.

***

Xander looked up from the couch when the rest of the family came in.  "I was a good boy."

"If you say so," Adam said dryly.

"Okay, except for the challenge I was a good boy."

"And the poker game," Adam reminded him.

"He really got challenged?" Ryan asked.

"Yes, by an Inspector General Kremps."

"I remember him," Don said.  He shrugged and gave Xander his cocoa before laying down next to him again.  "Someone should order or cook dinner.  We're tired."

"I agree," Speed said, flopping down at the end of the couch, pulling Horatio into his lap.  "Where is Ray Junior?"

"Um...." Xander said, picking up his phone to text him.  He got back the same 'not right now' message.  "I think he and the girlfriend are going at it since he didn't want to be bothered."  He let Horatio see the response.

Horatio pulled out his cellphone and called.  "The rest of us are about to have dinner.  What did yo want?  No, with Xander.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's excusing himself after this hand with the fraternity brothers."

"I play with frat brothers?" Xander asked.

"Apparently he does," Speed said dryly, leaning back, stroking up Horatio's back.  Ryan walked in.  "You done?"

"All done."  He flopped down in front of Xander, getting petted.  "Thanks for the help, guys."

"Not an issue," Don said dryly.  "You might come after us if you stayed one of them."

"But I'm not in backlog," Xander pointed out.

"Then maybe we'll ask one now and then when you're supercharged," Danny said.  He shifted and got comfortable again.  "What're we doing for dinner?"

"The place on eighth?" Xander offered.  Everyone stared at him.  "They've changed management since they accepted the bribe to knock us all out so they could steal Horatio."

"Let's not risk it tonight," Speed said.  He gave Horatio a squeeze, getting a smile.  "Check the freezer?"  Horatio went to do that.  "How many did you feed, Xander?"

"Five, six?  Most of them walked off pouting when I made fun of them."  Adam gave him a look.  "The succuba and incubus patrol."

"Hmm."  He grimaced.  "Let's try for calm soon, shall we?"  They all nodded so he looked at his boy.  "Why weren't you stuck at work like the others?"

"Two days off mandatory after a shooting before the review," Ray said grimly.  "Oh, guys, Stetler's back to fuming.  His confused look from when we broke in to get his assistant is now gone."  They all shrugged.  "He's pissed we didn't warn him."

"Couldn't.  The other idiot might've heard," Eric told him.  He looked at Ryan.  "When were you taken?"

"Lunch while I was changing.  The not-Frank got me when I pulled my shirt over my head."

"I was in there," Eric said, thinking back.

"They can create limited illusions to cloud your mind," Don said.  "That's how they change people to entice you."  The others stared at him.  "The book said so."  Everyone else nodded.  "So, Xander.  Poker game in DC?"  Xander moaned.  "How much did you lose?" he teased.

"He came home with six bags of money after lending Melissa some," Adam told him.  "The game in New York got closed down early when the other gentleman tried to shoot Xander.  Then the Feds that were following him around to get a better understanding saw him taking a challenge so we had to explain."

"Then we had pizza," Xander said.

Don kissed him.  "You're incredibly strange but we love you in spite of it."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Can we go for a bike ride later?"

"Sure.  Even though that won't get you out of counting the money and putting it into the bank."

"Steve's coming down to kick the local guy's ass."

"Even better.  He can help you count it and put it into the bank," Danny agreed.  He looked into the kitchen.  "Want help, Horatio?"

"I'm trying to decide between pork or beef."

"Put in both," Ray called.  "Xander's probably starved and so is Ryan."

"Sure."  He did that, stopping his nephew from coming in so they could have a talk in the backyard.  "Raymond."

"It was a friendly little card game, Uncle H.  I swear.  The rich boys' frat.  One of them wanted to ask out one of my female friends.  She brought me as a chaperone for her date with another guy.  Then they decided it was okay so they left and I got stuck there since she had my car.  So we ended up playing poker talking about hot girls."  He gave him a pitiful look.  "I made six hundred bucks."

"Which will be going in your college fund," Horatio assured him, staring at him.  "I do not like this method of income generation for Xander and I do not like it for you, nephew.  Gambling is not legal and it is not healthy.  If someone tries to shoot you, you'll die, unlike Xander."

"I know."

"Then why continue?"

"Because I need about another six grand for my college fund to pay for eight years of school.  That way I can get through my masters."

"In?"  He shifted, taking his hands off his hips.

"I'm torn between business and psych at the moment.  If I go for the later one I'll definitely need more money."

"There are grants."

"Not if you have a college fund in your name."

"By that level there's other methods, including work study, which will pay your tuition but you work about twenty hours a week around campus."

"There is?"  Horatio nodded.  "Huh.  I didn't know that."  He shrugged.  "I'm still thinking which one I want to do."

"We were told Steve was coming down.  He has an MBA.  He can help you with that if you ask."

"I'll do that.  Thanks, Uncle H."  He gave him a hug.  "I promise I'm safe."

"Ray, you're not Xander," he reminded him quietly.  "I don't want to see you hurt.  They have hurt Xander in the past when he collected on his debts.  There's a great many reasons not to start down that path."

"I know," he sighed.  "Xander still needs me to help him."

"Xander shouldn't be playing poker either," he said dryly, giving him a look.  "We were going to stop that hobby totally."  He looked inside then at him.  "Has Xander been stocking his new weapons yet?"

"Some.  He said he hasn't found a lot of stuff that he likes."  He shrugged.  "You took some of his favorite things."

"Then why doesn't he get new ones?"

"He can't find them.  Some are older.  A lot of the newer stuff was meant to be mounted on a vehicle and he doesn't want that.  We have an appointment Wednesday to look at someone's stash to see if he wants to buy him out.  I'm not holding out much hope.  He's got explosives but not a lot of other stuff.  Though I think he has one Friday that I wasn't going to."  He shrugged.  "Not a clue, Uncle H.  So are we good?"

"We're fine but you're not to play poker anymore, Raymond."

"Yes, Uncle H," he sighed.  He walked inside.

"I mean it, Ray.  No more."

"Yes, Uncle H.  It was a spontaneous game to talk about the hot chicks around me."  He flopped down next to Ryan, getting a pet as well.  "Spontaneous game started when the girl I was chaperoning left with the guy in my car," he explained.

"How much do you owe the rich boys?" Speed asked.

"I made six hundred.  My last hand, if I hadn't had to fold, would've been enough to finish my college fund so I could get my masters."

Xander petted him.  "I'll cover it, Ray."

"No, I'm making my own money for my own education.  Or else I won't appreciate it as much," he said firmly.

"I like the sentiment but the method of income generation is still bad for you," Horatio said when he rejoined them.  "For Xander as well."

"But..." Xander started.

Don made Xander look at him.  "No more playing poker, Xander.  Please?"

"But I'm *bored*," he complained.  "They're not going to hurt me.  They still joke about the last time someone tried.  Though one guy did have to be taught that the lab people are not my personal pets.  He thought I spoiled you because of that.  I had to tell him differently then I let Stetler have him to tell him how I wasn't really spoiling the department, just their work records."

"Is that why Rick was trying to taunt us about 'special treats'?" Speed asked.

"Probably," Horatio admitted.  "Why go to him?"

"Who better to know that I don't spoil you guys than the one who watches you closely enough to know when you missed a spot showering?"  Mac, Stella, and Sheldon walked in.  "Hi, guys."

"Xander," Mac said, smiling at him.  "How was the trip?"

"Pretty decent.  The Feds were okay.  I got to know a few of them pretty well because they followed me around all weekend.  They're going to talk to the people who're wiretapping me to tell them to stop it since there's no reason to do it.  Other than that, the Don and Ian Feds were very nice.  The psychologist one nearly took notes all weekend.  He was respectful but he was studying us."  Adam snickered at that.  "He got pulled into the cuddle pile and nearly had wet dreams in there.  The others just kinda stared in confusion.  Especially the one from the local office.  He tried to get me to out other members and I gave him a dirty look before walking off giggling.  You'll be happy to know he didn't get a directory."

"Why were two of the Feds following you around all weekend?" Stella asked.

"Gibbs sicced one of them on him in DC after he handed over those very nice presents and then ran into a sheik who had tried to take him before," Adam said dryly.  "He and Agent Edgerton ended up driving up together.  Xander even let him drive because playing poker all night had kept him unkidnaped."  Danny moaned.  "Gibbs also had him put on a GPS bracelet.  Anytime he's anywhere in his territory, Xander's to be wearing it."  Xander sighed but nodded at that.  "The other one is out of the LA office and was one of the responders to the mess he had to make to save everyone.  By the way, the psychologist was BAU, Horatio."

"The profiler corps?" Speed asked, looking confused.

"He made a good point that we end up on their caseload all too often and what sort of profiler would he be if he couldn't understand us as well."

"Interesting," Ray Junior said.

"Was that why they saw Xander taking a challenge?" Eric asked.  Xander and Adam both nodded.  "The others?"

"Gibbs was there, he followed Adam around and subbed in for Tony when Greg made him too sleepy," Xander said with a grin.

"Because you gave Gregory chocolate flavored stimulant lubricant and a pair of padded handcuffs you had made him," Adam said dryly.  "He also helped our new level nine a lot this weekend, including giving her some of his poker winnings," he told the family.

"That way she can set up somewhere secure to live," Xander told them with a small pout.  Don kissed him.  "It's a good use of the poker money, right?"

"It is," Don agreed, smiling at him.

"No more poker anyway," Danny added.  "Unless you're gambling somewhere like Vegas, for charity, or to help the PD."  Xander pouted for real.  "Tough."

"I'm *bored*!" he complained.

"We're working on it, Xander," Don soothed, making him nod and cuddle him again.  "Horatio, dinner?"

He checked his watch.  "Should be another twenty minutes."  Everyone went to clean up while Eric and Danny checked on the food and the others grabbed plates and things.  Don wasn't letting Xander up.

Stella came back with her plate once it was filled.  "So, why did Don and Speed have to take off?"

"Some incubuses took some of us," Ryan admitted.  "It was kinda fun."  Don swatted him.  "But bad of me.  Very, very bad of me.  I should not want sex anymore."  He sat down in his spot then ate his first bite of dinner.

Eric looked at him.  "We've had sex recently."

"Six weeks ago isn't recently," Ryan said.  "And before then it was about two months earlier.  Mostly you tossing me against a wall when you've had enough and are stressed out."  He ate another bite, looking at him.  "By the way, I'm going clubbing tonight.  It was great being in the middle of the clubbing pile they had up there."  Speed smacked him as he walked past him.  "It was."

"It might've been but if you revert we're going to have to turn you back the hard way," Speed reminded him, settling Horatio next to him.  Danny brought Don and Xander plates then went to get his own.  "Mac, we found out that Xander can let them nibble on him and it takes him out of backlog."

"That's a good emergency plan but not for everyday use," Mac said.  Don nodded at that and so did Xander.

"We also found they were going after hunters again," Don told him.

"Also interesting."  Stella leaned against his leg.  "Want the chair?"

"I'm fine."

"I need to redecorate, don't I?" Xander asked.

"There's something to do," Don agreed.

Danny leaned over to look at him.  "Not too much leather.  Leather and humidity equals sticky leather."

"Yes, Danny."

"Use the poker money," Ray Junior said.

Xander gave him a look.  "I didn't get that much."

"Six bags from the trip," Don said, thinking hard.  "You've been hiding it somewhere again from the ones around here because the bank accounts haven't went up."

"I paid the house taxes," he said proudly.  "And the IRS again."  He beamed.  "I'm being a good boy.  Oh, it's your turn to pick checks.  Danny and I have picked the last two times so it's your turn."

"Sure, I'll pick the checks this time," Don agreed. "I paid the cable bill too."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."

"Was your job anyway," Xander said with a grin.  Danny snickered at that.  "And I'm not hiding that much money, Ray."

Ray Junior snickered.  "Sure, Xander.  I know how much you win and how much I've won for you."  Xander went pale.  "Tell me you haven't been spending it all?"

"No, but I'm nearly done with the holiday presents."

"Nothing too shiny," Adam reminded him.

Xander gave him a look.  "Fine.  Spoil my fun."  He went back to eating.  He had a new plan for Adam's present.  "Are we doing Christmas, Solstice, or what this year?"

"None of us are Jewish or Arabic," Horatio said.  "Adam, Ryan?"

"I like Christmas," Ryan told him.  "Though I did put myself down as a guardian for the pagan celebration, H."

"That's fine, Ryan.  Adam?"

He shrugged.  "I'll go with whatever the others go with.  I'm not particularly religious."

"Xander?" Speed asked then ate a bite of dinner.  Xander did cook very well, even when he cooked and froze.

"I'll bow to group pressure but I'm putting up the tree," Xander told them.  They nodded at that.  "Are you sure you guys wouldn't mind if I redecorated?"

"As long as there's places to cuddle, there's comfy spots to watch tv, and it's not a huge bed in the living room," Don said, finishing with a grin.

"I could join the two front rooms," he offered.

"Take out the small hallway and foyer?" Danny said, looking at the small wall.  "I don't know if I'd like that."

"It'd be bigger and we could spread across the whole front of the house," Ryan told him, finishing his dinner.  "The door would be shielded somehow for safety?"  Xander nodded.  "Then you could walk in and walk around."

"Not like anyone uses that door most of the time anyway," Xander pointed out.

"Good point," Don said, considering it.  "It'd let us have one huge seating area."

"And expand the ferrets' cage," Xander agreed.  "Plus a lot more seating."

Don shrugged.  "No leather couches, Xander.  Get the A/C fixed too?"

"Oh, yes I so am," he agreed.  "If you guys like a sort of style, let me know soon?  I'll get magazines."

"Sure, we can do that tomorrow after work," Don agreed.  It meant the whole living room wouldn't look like Xander's antique bed.

***

Don Epps walks into his office and puts his bag down, looking at the agents there late that night.  He had called this meeting because it was late and now he understood why they weren't to pass out information.  "We need to talk somewhere we won't be overheard, taped, or bugged," he said calmly.  "What I learned this weekend I'm sharing, against orders."  They nodded, heading for a room they usually used, the kitchen.  It was the only place in the whole building, outside the bathrooms, that didn't have cameras.  Don checked just in case, then he put down the folder he had grabbed, putting it on the small table in front of them.  "Before you ask, the convention was great.  The people there are really nice.  They desperately need protection.  On the way home I had to stop seven different kidnaping attempts at the airport and another three at the one here in LA."  They all stared, Megan giving him a horrified look.  "Also, Charlie does know, has known some since college, did some math for them."

"So, this group is...."

"A group of people who're cursed with hyperactive pheromones.  They are *literally* the most kidnaped group *ever*.  Out of the ten times, six were for one person."  They all shook their heads.  "Who lives here in LA."  He pointed at the folder.  "That's the information packet we got given by the board of the organization.  It was founded back in the sixteen hundreds."  He got some coffee and sat down with a small sigh of tiredness.  "I kinda feel sorry for most of them.  When the condition activates they go from fully functioning, sometimes really tough individuals, to people who need protectors, people who take care of mundane things for them, and to be protected in case assholes try for them."  Ian walked in and he waved. "Staying?"

"Heard about the airport.  You get her home?"

"Her keeper was waiting.  I escorted her to him and then followed them home."  He nodded.  He grinned at his team.  "Ian and I followed one of the highest of the people around all weekend long."

"I swear I drove people off each time we had to stop.  There was a highway cop that stopped us to check the license because his SUV is huge.  I nearly had to beat him off the kid sleeping in the back."  Megan snatched the information to read while Ian got some coffee.  He sat down too.  "I went by way of Dallas.  They had a riot with the local agents having to come in to get them out of there.  A bunch of Asian guys in cowboy gear tried to steal a few of the lower levels and one of the upper ones at DFW in the baggage claim."

"Does Xander fly?"

"If he does he charters."

"Good.  Then he only has to worry about a pilot."

Megan waved it.  "Can't be.  It's impossible."

"No, it's not," Don assured her.  "That's where we were all weekend long."  His little brother Charlie leaned in with a grin.  "Belinda and your former friends in college, Duane and Missy, all said hi.  Belinda and I are seeing you together on Tuesday."

"She's been elevated?"

"No, dumbass, I'm testing you," he said, giving him a look.  Charlie cackled at that.  "Come help."  He walked in and shut the door.

Ian looked up.  "A light just went on."  He got up and got the camera out then handed it to Don to destroy.  Don tossed it to Colby, who dismantled it then reinstalled it.  "Good job."  He looked at Megan.  "Yes, they are real.  There's twelve in town but one's moving to DC with the new senator."

"The slutty little ho of his assistant?" she demanded.  Don nodded.  "How in the hell?"

"Elevated pheromones which create a miasma of lust around them and draws people to want to own them," Charlie said.  Him teaching this lesson would let Don drink the coffee he looked like he desperately needed.  "Back in the old days, they were almost always concubines or mistresses.  The group started as concubines talking to each other about why they were favored and sharing tips.  Then someone found hormones and it clicked.  The group's got about three thousand members, though about two hundred are presently listed as permanently missing, presumed dead."  Colby stared at that, mouth slightly open.  He nodded.  "People believe they can own these people like they're pets.  Exotic, desirable, wanton pets.  It's the modern version of a concubine.  One of the ones in town has been taken about twelve times since she was found and she's a very low level."

Don nodded.  "Xander, the guy we followed around all weekend, we had to beat people off him.  He was shopping or eating.  Not trying to attract anyone.  They simply wanted him."  He took a drink of his coffee.  He was exhausted.

"Why can't they control it?" David demanded.

"Only so much you can do to wear out pheromones," Charlie pointed out.  He took one of his dry erase markers to draw on the table.  "The normal 'I'm going to be a pleasure boy for a rich person' group is here on a continuum of sexuality."  He marked another point further down.  "This is considered the average person.  Most researchers don't go beyond the point of the little pleasure beasts."  He marked a point further up the scale.  "This is a level three GHS and they go up to level ten.  The upper range for them is technically infinite but they haven't had anyone really strong in centuries."

"Except the one in Florida," Don said dryly.  Charlie gaped at him.  He handed him something.  "The test they did during the convention since he wasn't quite backlogged and wasn't anywhere near worn out.  They're apparently trying to find an average score on him.  They can't."

Charlie looked, nibbling on his lip.  "There's no way he's not in danger, Don."

"He's in Miami and they all know.  He's dating two cops, has others in his protection committee and as friends, and he spoils the crime lab down there since one of his lovers is in there.  The guy that came up from Miami knew him by first name."

"Damn," Charlie whispered, then shook his head.  He marked a point off in the air, holding his marker there.  "By this test, this level ten is here on that same scale."  David groaned.  Colby whimpered.

"Crap, we forgot to mention the cult," Ian said quietly.

"I have his email and the emails of his people down there," Don offered.  That got a nod.  "We'll write them tomorrow."  He looked at them.  "Out of the eleven we have staying in LA, four are levels tens or nines.  Another one rides the line between eight and nine. The rest are lower levels and able to do normal things as long as they're worn out."  He leaned forward.  "If they're not worn out or someone talks about them and the wrong person hears, they're going to be somewhere on that map in the back probably.  Like Charlie said, they've had members who were taken and no one can find them.  They've had members who were used and then killed."

"It's likely that the men are castrated upon their breaking," Charlie admitted.  "That way their new owners don't have to worry about them."

"Why doesn't everyone know about this?" Colby asked, getting up to pace.  "That way we could protect them."

"Because they have the right to a quiet life," David said, looking at him.  "Think about it, Colby.  If we all knew, we'd be keeping them under surveillance.  We don't have the manpower and that would make it easier to track them."

"There's people in certain field offices, in major areas where they congregate, that now know so that we can handle it when something happens," Don agreed.  "Beyond that, most of them have their own protection.  That's why they have a system of protectors and keepers; the higher levels are taught security measures.  Each convention has a self-defense lesson run by one of the few cops in the group.  He's a member and a mid-level."

"The level ten that Charlie's holding the point for helped teach that because he's got some extreme training.  The newest level nine is sixteen.  He mentored her all weekend about her security, how to handle things, and then gave her a loan so she could find a secure apartment to live in and help her find a protector," Ian told them.

"There have been a lot of protectors and keepers who've come out of the military and different police departments," Don agreed.  "The higher ones often have full security details.  Xander's work so he doesn't but he can handle himself.  He often has someone with him even if it's another member."

"So we need to know why?" Megan asked.

"Because of the ten attempts I had on the way back from New York," Don told her.  "If they happen, we're going to be handed the case to find them.  Kidnaping, especially international kidnaping, is our job, not the local department's."

Ian smirked.  "There's also a problem that some of those idiots who want new pets give them things.  Xander got a working prototype warhead and five dirty bombs in the construction phase.  One had the chemicals and he admitted he stole it from the guy because he didn't want him using it in his city.  Then he arranged for the police department to arrest them on other charges so they wouldn't know.  He called Gibbs and handed them over to NCIS."

"Even I've heard of Gibbs," Colby said, giving him a look.  "They get along?  Gibbs wouldn't tolerate flirty behavior."

"They found fifteen in the military," Don said with a grin.  Colby shuddered.  "Eight still are.  They asked to make sure they wanted to be there.  As for Gibbs...."

"He's got personal knowledge.  One of the people who was on his team in the past was one," Ian told them.  "He didn't know why until he met Mr. Harris. That was never clarified for us as to how.  We didn't ask.  Gibbs helped run self-defense lessons with Xander when the usual teacher was passed out from too much sex."

"To illustrate how big of a change this can be," Don said, leaning back some.  "Anyone remember the last situation in Sunnydale?  They all shuddered but nodded.  "Harris is the same Harris as helped Miss Summers take down the Initiative and blow up the high school to save us all.  That's who we were with all weekend long."

Charlie burst out laughing.  "Oh, damn."

"He's now a flghty, fun, cutesy, semi-violent, down to an expediency of me or them, bouncy guy who draws stupid people who want to own him."

Megan shook her head slowly.  "He was said to be a hardass.  That he was cold and mean when necessary, but bouncy otherwise."

Don nodded.  "Exactly."  He passed over a picture.  "That was Xander Sunday morning.  He's now an expert swordsman and has a self-defense style I can't figure out how to beat.  Someone recently gave him an island full of very possessive cyborgs.  I asked about the rumors, he told me everything.  Yes, they did chase one of Gibbs' teammembers around with a sextoy.  It was Sanders, the cute guy out of Las Vegas that he recently hired.  Greg, Xander, and DiNozzo are all friends actually."  He smirked at his team, watching them pass on the picture and mentally compare it to the one the Initiative files had.  "That's how drastic the change was when the hormones and pheromones turn on.  He went on a road trip after the Initiative thing and ended up finding himself at a brothel.  They opened it and called the national head for him."

Megan slumped.  "How often will we have to deal with this?"

"Maybe now and then with a kidnaping, an inappropriate gift, things like that.  The agents decided to gather the people in our regions to talk to them.  That way they know us.  They trust us.  They know where to find us.   Ours have my home address and Dad's.  I did tell them I'd be telling my team and pointed out one was a profiler in case it was needed and my brother already knew since he helped.  The ones here agreed it could help.  The one in Miami told Xander to handle himself since he had things going well for himself and he'd handle the others outside his family group.  Xander agreed unless something drastic happened.  Then the department would call him.  He's going to introduce himself to the lab and the people who know down there.  They've got some in the department itself."

"Secretaries?"

"If they're wearing it out, they're normal people," Charlie assured her.  "As long as they're wearing it out there's no way to tell - they don't broadcast, they don't draw strange things.  Lower levels only need a lover who has a clue and is a bit creative.  It's said that level fives get a housekeeper, level sixes get real keepers; level sevens get to be the wife.  Level eights get to be the creamy filling.  Level nines get to be the paranoid creamy filling.  Level tens are true concubines and they're lucky if they ever make it out of bed.  Most people are okay to work up to level sevens.  The five, six, and sevens usually work in more artistic or less physically  demanding fields, with a few exceptions.  Including the few cops in the society.  There's a level six in a crime lab.  A level seven in a federal agency.  A few other officers in the level five or six range."  He came over to sit down.

"They have multiple lovers?" Megan asked.

"The higher levels they have to.  Most level tens don't get out of bed," Ian told her.  "We were told they often have two-to-four lovers and a few who sub in when theirs are tired or surge.  Because some things can make them surge.  Including being bored, some herbs, those things."

Don nodded.  "We saw Xander being bored."

Ian shuddered.  "Don't remind me."  David snickered.  "The kid's bouncy.  Has been bouncy by reports.  He's worse when he's backed up.  That's why they drove to New York then he chartered a flight to fly him and his oversized SUV back to Miami."

Megan handed Colby what she had been looking at so he could put it back together and hand it to Charlie.  "So now and then something may come up?"  Don nodded.  "I can see that."

"One thing was stressed.  We do not talk about it where others can overhear," Don said firmly.  "Ever.  In the office, in our homes, nowhere someone will find out a name.  If we do, they're gone and if they can find their directory or get them to name names, others are gone."

"The former Director of NCIS met Harris and tried to sell him," Ian said quietly at the stares.  "She decided another one was her personal property.  Not your diary if it's online, nowhere.  Their safety and the safety of those around them are too important for that."

Megan nodded.  "I can see why."

Charlie looked at Don.  "Why would I be?"

"Your math funks," Megan said.  "You've said often enough that math is your preferred pleasure and lover, and then you get lost in it, Charlie."

"But..."

Don held up a hand.  "You're teaching one already.  She's going to do the blood test.  If we find one we think may be, there's a fairly simple blood test.  One of those add drops from the bottles tests.  If we do, I can call one of them or you guys can and we'll get them tested.   That way they can get help, they can get support, and they find out about the herbal allergies that come with the condition."

"I notice they upped the list," Charlie said.

"One of their CSI did the tests to find out the new ones," Ian said. "They have their own research council."

Charlie looked at him.  "Sanders?"

"On Gibbs' team?" Colby asked with a grin.  Don held up two fingers.  "He's got *two*?"

"They're together.  He said it helps.  He'd beat them to death individually.  If they start to get that scatterbrained feeling he sends them off for a ten minute break together.  It fixes that for both of them."  He looked at his brother.  "He was a CSI out of Vegas.  When they outed him in his department there things started to get tough for him so his buddy Xander brought him to Miami.  They set him up in a lab, got him samples of every herbal thing they could, down to herbs used in cooking, by new agers, all that.  Then they let him find out with samples of blood from various members."

"Wow," Charlie said.  "How long?"

"A little over a year."  He looked at his team again.  "They've had people die from things on that list.  That's why we have the list.  If we *must* to get them safely out of somewhere there's a dosing instruction on the back of the list to weed it out.  It's only in emergency situations or if they're broadcasting so hard that they're even taking out their help.  Or when we're getting them out of somewhere.  It's never to be used more than once every few months.  Harris and two others nearly died from it."

"So we have permission to talk about him?"

"Among those who have to know we're allowed to use him as examples," Don told her.  "Otherwise, same rules apply."

"Though he does have some safety in Miami since he's been playing poker with the thugs down there," Ian said dryly.  Don snickered.  "Really, he is.  I asked and he told me some of the guys he played with last year who aren't part of it now.  They're mostly in jail on mob and murder charges."  They all stared.  He smirked and nodded.  "Yeah.  He's bored.  That's why a bored GHS is a bad thing."

"If he knows the lab, Caine will spank him," Megan said.

"Caine's one of his protection committee and family that he's gathered around him," Don told her.  "He's tried.  He's also the one who took out the slave auction interestingly enough."

Megan shuddered.  "Okay.  Now what?"

"This is FYI," Don told them.  They all nodded.  "Go.  Have bad dreams."  They walked out, going home.  He looked at Ian.  "Want my spare room?"

"Saves me on hotel costs.  I'm due back in DC to deal with the ones coming in with the new senators too.  I'm going to shoot myself."

Don smirked.  "Let Gibbs handle it."

"Gibbs said it was my job.  He's higher in the hierarchy.  He's going to assign Sanders to help me or DiNozzo.  I'll be there to guard them.  They're going to hold a city-wide to pass around the safe places and restaurants list.  Until then, we heard that you guys have a wanted person you need me to help catch."  He grinned and stood up.  "Same place?"  Don nodded.  "I'll pick your lock.  Thanks, man.  Later, Charlie."  He walked off.

Charlie looked at Don.  "I can't be."

"You're wearing it out if that's true," he said quietly.  "I'm still having her test you."

"Which one?  Belinda?"  Don nodded.  "Is she going to hit on me?"

"Yup," Don agreed, smiling.  "She thought you and Amita looked like you were casual yet settling for whatever you could get."  He stood up.  "Let's head home."  He gathered up the information and took it with him.  There were too many nosy people in the building.  Charlie shook his head, following.

***

The young, geeky agent walked into his unit the next morning, putting papers up on the board in the meeting area.  He had told the other men on the team to meet him in there.  He didn't know the women well enough to trust at the moment but he trusted these two. JJ blatantly walked in and shut the door behind herself.  He shrugged, he could probably trust her.  Hopefully the professional demeanor would stay through this talk.  "My convention this weekend was very productive.  These are fifteen cases we've dealt with that included members of the society."  They sat and stared at that.  "It's a pheromone condition.  It gets them taken.  Often overseas.  We've dealt with them in various ways for the last forty years that I could find records for."

He waved a hand.  "If we have another case with a member of the society, tell me!"  He looked at them all.  Gideon was in the back but only watching him for now, smiling one of his unreadable smiles.  "They're doing the best they can with the hand they've been dealt."  They got up to look at the cases, some of them frowning at them.  He highlighted certain lines.  "That is the code the BAU has been using for GHS members.  Though, one thing we were ordered to deal with.  We do not talk about them in public.  Ever.  Any member, past, present, or future.  It gets them taken and then either their retrieval team, who are all Special Forces, or we have to deal with them.  There's presently two in DC, about seven in Baltimore, and another one in the Virginia countryside.  In January we're getting another five from the new senators.  The two presently in town are also agents, not FBI."

"The one who I heard gave Gibbs the bombs?" Derek Morgan asked quietly.

"Was one of them, not an undercover agent like the rumors said," he said, nodding a bit, grimacing some.  "He's a nice guy.  He's in Miami.  They have all his stuff worked out down there.  We have to worry if more of them cross our desks.  The usual methods of taking them are drugging or regular kidnaping methods.  Some from the homes, some in public, a lot of times with a ruse play like 'oh, they passed out, help me get them to the car'."  He tacked a map to the board.  "This is the last known area of the kidnapers they know about, those who have acted in the past, and the ones who presently have one but they wanted to stay.  For whatever reason.  Their extraction teams will generally, with some qualifiers, leave them there if they say they want to be there."

"So, breaking them means they stay," Hotchner said.

Reed nodded.  "And if they're male, they're castrated right after they agree to stay as part of the 'marriage' ceremony to their pets."  The man all shuddered.  "These are only the cases I could find.  I'm sure there's more.  The one I know, the Granois case, wasn't listed the same way.  They said she was and she got referred to us my first month."  Hotchner nodded he remembered that one.  Then he sat up, staring at him.  He stared back.  "Stolen from her home and family.  The cult leader that had her ended up killing them both.  The agent in charge of this information is trying to find a way to see if any other agents are affected, just for their own safety.  The group doesn't like that idea and was very firm on the subject.  The lower levels can wear themselves out so they're no different than most normal people."

Morgan raised his hand.  "How many members worldwide?"

"About three thousand.  Two hundred missing and presumed dead from kidnapings.  At least one cult out in the Midwest to the nice guy in Miami."  They all nodded at that.  "They only want him back and it was started by his mother.  She was glorifying what he was doing when he was back in Sunnydale, before his problem became evident."  He looked at them.  "From what we know, most larger Vice departments know.  They find them often wearing things out in whorehouses.  Or finding themselves in one.  If we find one, there's a simple blood test we can administer.  It's one of those 'drop a few drops of this and that onto a sample' sorts."  Garcia came in and he smiled.  "Hi."

"Hi."  She looked then at him.  "GHS convention fun?"

"It was very fun to watch and very educational.  They've built a fairly close fraternity among themselves.  They're supportive, they teach each other good strategies for coping and self defense."

"How do you know?" Morgan asked.

She smirked.  "I used to date a level three.  I hit on DiNozzo now and then too.  He's so cute.  He's scared yet turned on by my brain.  Abby and I talk about how cute his butt is all the time."

"Not in public?" Reed asked.

"Oh, honey, we never mention that part.  Just him in his suits."  She patted him on the cheek.  "There's three current cases around the office that hold them.  Two are cold one isn't.   It's the other team's."

"I want it," Hotchner told her.  "Unless they have good leads."  She nodded, going to tell them that.  "How often will this become pertinent?"

Reed shrugged.  "Who knows.  How often are they going to be taken?"  Garcia walked in.  "How many times has Tony been taken?"

"Sixteen in the last few years I think, two by Gibbs when he got hormoned by accident."  She handed the file over.  Reed took it from him and read it.  "Got an idea?"

He nodded.  "Yeah, she's out of the country."  He pulled the map out of his packet and handed it down. "They often end up there."  He pointed.  "I heard at the convention they think she ended up here in upper Saudi Arabia."  Garcia nodded, going to search that way.  He looked at his team.  "So."

"So," Morgan agreed, taking the file to look over.  "Standard kidnaping with drugging," he said, handing it on.  "From the grocery store?"

"They have to eat too.  They do appreciate chocolate a lot.  All the hedonism helps wear them out."  He took the file back, nodding slowly at it, writing down what he had heard.  The agent it had been assigned to came in.  "I heard about her kidnaping and some rumors at the convention I was at.  Some of her friends think they know who did it.  Garcia's looking."

"Good to know.  Would it matter?"

"Not totally but the group has a higher than average kidnaping rate."  That got a nod.  "If something like this hits your desk, give it to me?"  He nodded, it'd mean less work for him.  "Thanks."  He grinned.

"Not a problem.  So, why do they want the hedonistic little sluts?"

"Who said they can help it?" Reed asked.  "Some people do have unfortunate hormone conditions."  The agent walked off laughing.  He pointed.  "That's the other reason they don't talk about it in public and neither do we."

Hotchner nodded.  "Fine.  If I get one I think is, I'm handing it to you.  How would you check?"

"Directory."

"There is one?"

"That won't get into general hands, but yes.  Only a few of the agents this weekend got one.  The one in LA did.  He was following the guy in Miami around all weekend long beating people off him."  He shrugged.  "It happens."  He put the case file down on the table, smiling when Garcia came back to hug him.  "Found her?"

"Found her.  Emailed Abby about it to see if there was some sort of rescue service?"  He dug it out, handing it to her.  "Thanks, sweetie."

"Special Forces."

"Even better."  She went to email him as well as getting Abby to do it.  She'd pass that over in case no one over there had it.  Abby's 'oh, paul, I know him, he's a sweetie and a huge teddybear,' with a smiley face was cute.

***

In Miami Horatio looked up as an email was put in front of him by an agent.  He read it over.  "Where are they?"

"Midwest.  Upper Iowa at the moment."  He stared at him.  "Are you?"

"None of your business."

He held up a hand.  "I'm over it in Miami, Caine.  If you are, I want you covered by Harris' protections.  I'm making it very clear that I'm letting Harris handle his own since he has it.  If it's that bad,  you'll let me know if you need me too."

"We would."

"Good.  How many in the family?  Adam said five and I'm assuming he was counting himself?"

Horatio texted someone then nodded.  He considered the advice Speed gave him.  "Speedle and I are.  Adam.  Don Flack.  Ray Kowalski."

"Shit," he said bluntly.  "Wolfe or Delko?  I know Delko's a slut."

"Not our sort," he said blandly, giving him a look.  "Ryan is a priest of Ares and protects Xander and the family.  Eric does as well.  They're some of Xander's relief committee."

"Understood.  Your nephew?  We see them together all the time."

"He is.  Lower."

"Good.  That'll make his life a lot easier.  How high are you?"

"Past the midpoint."

"How...."

"Speedle and I are together," he said quietly.

"Great.  Good.  Then it works for you.  I don't have to worry about you.  Are you usually hunted?"

"Not often.  We handle it.  Xander handles his."

"You do know that Xander has *three* people stalking him at the moment?"

Horatio sighed.  "We know about one."

"Xander may be able to handle some things but go talk to his poker buddies.  And make him quit playing?"

"We are trying on that last part."

"Good!  New guy to the poker circle is a massive arms dealer."  Horatio printed off something and handed it over with a smirk.  He looked at it.  "As long as *you* have *direct* oversight."

"I do.  Once he finds what he wants."

"Good.  Ask his poker buddies anyway."  He looked around then at him.  "Anything I should be aware of?"

"Ray is not allowed to play poker anymore either.  Do not yank on Xander's hair.  Watch out for the hairpins and swords with Xander."

"I can handle that, we have the circle under surveillance too.  Wouldn't yank his hair anyway, I saw someone nearly die from doing it to him at the convention.  Epps, out of LA, had to save the guy's life.  Literally.  He was doing CPR while your boy huffed and complained, then stomped his foot."

"He does that.  They do vex him," he agreed.

"Think he'd do that dance thingy to get some people to talk for us?"

"No.  His boyfriends will not allow it.  Also, he's having some renovations done.  If you know a good, bonded company, give one of us the number."

"I have six in my desk.  I know one of the others got taken like that recently."  He gave him a look then he handed over his card.  "Photocopy and hand out as needed.  I'll let you guys handle your own since you're such a top-heavy group.  Also, the beheading thing that happened?  Keep it out of my sight so I don't have to write a report."

"We do."

"Good.  One of them pulled Harris into an alley and I nearly stepped in until I heard him handling it and then beat the bastard until the lightening storm happened.  From now on, anything strange and I'm calling him."  He walked out, going to see Tripp.  "I know you know Xander."  He nodded, looking amused.  "I'm assigned over their cases if something happens in the local office."  He handed over his card.  "Harris has himself covered and his family too.  Anyone else or if it's too heavy for you guys, let me know."  He walked off.  The email was going to his boss but otherwise that'd be fine.

Frank went to see Horatio, watching him walk off from the same window Horatio was.  "The FBI really briefed local agents?"

"In about twelve offices, Frank.  Including someone in the Behavioral Analysis Unit."  He looked at him.  "He's letting us handle ourselves."

"That's fine.  If you guys can't or you all disappear I'll alert him."

"Thank you.  He does know."

"Figures."  He shrugged.  "It's your safety, Horatio.  You know that.  They could've picked a bigger asshole."

"True."  He looked out the window again.  "He has the email about Xander being allowed weapons too."  Frank walked off laughing.  Horatio tried to call Don again, getting him.  So apparently he was off the stand.  "It's me.  Do you know Xander has *three* stalkers according to the FBI?  Plus his mother's cult still wants him back?"  He smiled.  "That was suggested, yes.  Iowa.  It shouldn't be a problem but FYI.  That's true, forewarned in his case."  He laughed.  "Exactly, Don.  Let me know what you find out."  He hung up and went back to watching outside.  It was starting to rain and it was nice.

***

Don got off his bike and walked inside the poker den that was the center of the circle, looking at the men playing.  Then he walked on, finding the ones Xander played with.  He blatantly sat down and stared at them.  "Gentlemen, and Andrea."  She nodded, smiling a bit.  "Let me repeat what Horatio already said.  Xander is not allowed to play poker anymore.  We feel it's too evil for him to bankrupt all of you, even if it is helping slow down some of the crime in the city."  That got a few laughs.  "Ray Junior is not allowed to play for him either.  They are not allowed, even if he's depressed or angsting about the IRS again.  Am I clear?"  They all nodded.  "If he continues to play, he's going to be punished.  So will all of you."  He smiled again.  "Though we would like to know what else Xander has been doing since he only told us about one stalker and the FBI thinks he has three?"

"Five," one of the guys said.

"And one new one that's scouting him to take him but Davorit went to talk to him," the guy dealing said with a small shrug.  "Pity."

Don smiled.  "Can we please get a full file?  Information and all?"

"Can we get ours back from Xander?" Andrea, who was an assassin, asked.

"I've looked recently and haven't seen anything about your ten known kills, Andrea."  She went pale.  "But I'll gladly look again."  He smiled sweetly, his best little boy grin.  "Also, anything he has stored, emergency kits, money, that shit?  Bring it to us at the station so we can count it and deal with it.  Especially if someone was stupid enough to give him drugs again."  They all nodded and sighed.  He stood up.  "Pay him if you owe him.  We'll find some other way to stop you guys."

"Did someone shoot at him again?" the dealer asked.  "Usually you guys get upset with his poker habit when one of us tries to hurt him to get out of paying him."

Don shrugged.  "How would we know?  Xander won't tell us."  That got a moan.  "He said he has it handled.  We want him to do safer things.  Before we have to get involved."  He winked.  "Agreed?"  They all nodded.  "When can we get the stuff?"

"Within the week," one sighed.  "The office not the house?"

"If you send it to the house, he'll try to hide it," Don said dryly.  "I can't protect him if I don't know and yes, I am still Xander's protector.  Clear?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Pass it around, guys.  Oh, Xander's going to be doing some redecorating the house.  So if you know a good spot, include a card."  He strode out, his leather jacket floating a bit behind him due to momentum.

Andrea tipped her head.  "Pity such a nice ass is gay."  She smiled at the others. "Think he realizes he looks like Snape in that?"  They all laughed.  "Think we should tell Xander since he's in the other room?"

The dealer went to talk to him, walking him out to hand him back to his lover, who was waiting to pull into traffic.  "Here, he cabbed since his 'vette is in the shop for an oil change."  He walked off again.

Don pulled Xander onto the bike and handed him the helmet, getting a sigh.  "Tough."

"One last game?"

"No."

"Please?  Just the last hand?  Just today?  You can watch.  I have *plans*."  Don sighed and turned off the bike so they headed back inside.  "He said I can have one last day, guys." He beamed and sat down again, taking back his cards and checking them then the pot.  He checked the other guys then put in half his chips.  The other guys groaned and one unwisely bet.  Xander took the pot.

***

Don walked Xander into the office with dinner for them.  "Xander just helped lower our drug pipeline by over seven million dollars.  The two dealers who still owe him about two total are very sorry they played with him."  He sat Xander down and handed out the food.  "Also, his oil was changed so the food was carried in his car instead of on the bike."  He sat down next to Xander, feeding him a bite.  "Behave now?"

"I only wanted the one last game.  They wouldn't let me into the last one with you there."

Don smirked at him.  "That's probably a good idea since they were all armed."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "Tell me Ray isn't," he hissed.  Xander shook his head quickly.  "You sure?"

"Yeah, he'd be at Fu's."

"No, we picked him up," Ryan promised as he came in with Ray.

Ray flopped down and handed Xander a rolled stack as big as his fist.  "Your cut."

"College fund?"

"Complete."  He grinned. "So I'm out."

"Don drug me out by my belt."

Ray grinned at Don.  "Remembered about the hair?"

"I know how sharp those pins are," he snorted.  He looked out the doorway.  "FOOD!"   The others started to trail in.  He looked at Xander, stroking his back.  "You'll be too busy with the redecorating and the construction stuff."

"Should I fix the garage?"

"Please," Don agreed.  "See if they can fix the deck around the hottub too."

Xander nodded. "Yes, Don."  He dug in, smiling when Don fed him a treat.  "Thank you."

"Love you even if you do help us lower crime."

"It's my old life coming out in new and unusual ways," he quipped happily.  "Protecting people against the bad things."

Ryan looked at him.  "Keep it up, we'll give you a badge and a job."  Everyone else who heard shook their heads, even Ray Junior.

"Uncle H would never put up with him in the lab," Ray said dryly.  "He'd kill you for suggesting it, Ryan.  I'd run."

"H, Ryan said if Xander kept helping us stop crime he'd get a badge," Eric yelled.

Speed walked in and smacked Ryan on the head again then grabbed his and Horatio's food so they could eat in the office.

Everyone laughed at that.  It was cute of the manly husband.

Reconstructing Home.

Xander found the contractor he wanted.  Now he had to make himself clear.  He walked him around the house, watching his face.  "I do like the outside layout of the house."

"It's got good structure and that arch around your bedroom is nice architecturally speaking.  What were we going to do, Mr. Harris?"  He looked around the kitchen.  It had a lot of cabinet space.  So he probably wouldn't have that complaint from this home owner.

"Well, in here, under the windows that look out on the new patio we put in, I want counter space."  That got a nod and a note made.  "Matching the others if you can.  Don't worry about storage, just work areas.  All we have right now is the island and we love it, but we've got six great cooks in the family.  Plus it'll give us somewhere to eat in the mornings."

"Okay."

Xander pointed at the wall that separated the dining room.  "We're going to be doing some wall moving here."  He led him into the dining room.  "We *never* use this room."  That got a nod.  "So can  you take a half or just under and turn it into a theater?  I never get to go to the movies.  Make it look like a great theater?  Like they'd have in New York, but not the Met.  Like would bring back kids' memories of good theaters."  That got a nod and he measured the area, making notes on that.  "That means we can cover the old sliding door and put in a door on the new wall from the office, which is getting the rest of the space."  He led him in there to look.  "We need a bit more.  We have two officers in the family and sometimes they have to bring home work.  They should be able to work comfortably, maybe even give us two work areas?  I'm still figuring out the desk thing."  He nodded. He walked him off.

"Where does that closet end?" he asked, pointing at a door off the hall.

"That's down to the small basement we have."

"How is it not flooding?"

Xander grinned.  "Magic."  He laughed.  "We have a shallow pool down there.  We waterproofed it really well too.  Plus a few storage closets."  He walked him on, back into the kitchen and into the practice area.  "This I want upstairs.  You can add a new third floor that'll kinda mirror the other arch, maybe halfway across?  It's not really large enough for sword practice and I need it to be."

"I can see that."  He made more notes after measuring.  "What're we doing with this area?"

Xander smiled and led him to his room.  "See that wall?" he said, pointing at the wall between the bedroom and practice room.  "I want it gone.  I want the closets up there so that Danny and Don can use them.  Move the bathroom to that back corner of the arch.  That way we can expand it so I don't have to hear complaining that I'm taking too long in the shower thanks to my hair."  He let him see the present bathroom.  It wasn't exactly cramped but in the mornings it was a madhouse.  "I don't need a Roman bath but I need a shower to do my hair, we need a tub too.  I like to soak."  That got a nod.  "If we can combine them, great.  If not, great."  He laughed and nodded.  He led him back out.  "Move the smaller closet up between the windows, then the larger one up against the patio wall?  That gives us an extra closet, which they'll adore.  Then we can move the bed back and put a seating area or table or something in front of the glass doors."  He nodded.  Xander led him back to the foyer and staircase.  "I know you can't move that without a lot of problems."  He grinned.  "I worked construction for a bit.  I want the two rooms joined.  They're not big enough for the family to all sit together.  I'm going to be putting up the ferret kingdom instead of the three cages.  We're going to have a huge seating area because we have, like, eleven friends or so.  Right now we can seat seven or eight if we cuddle.  Plus we never use the one on the right."  He grinned.  "Not too grand of a dream."

"No, not hard to do at all," he agreed.  "What about camouflage for the stairs?"

"Can you?  I was thinking about training ivy and adding some iron scrollwork for the expanded handles."

"Hmm."  He went to look at the stairs as they were now.  "It's a very gentle twist.  We can probably do a seashell easiest.  One wall open, one not."  He looked at Xander.  "Are you going to be decorating in woods or metals?"

"A bit of both but we all like woods more.  Me more than them."

"Then we can use some light wood to create that wall.  It'll be a small break in the room. You're still going to be reclaiming a lot more space than you think but you can put something decorative between the two.  Like a screen or something for the door.  That way you have some privacy when you have it open."  He petted the dog that came over to sniff.  "We could actually move the front door so it's on that side or closer to it so it wouldn't take up as much room.   You could set it up as a computer area, or the music area.  Or even a small eating area for a new dining room if you wanted.  Add another window and it's got a great view of the orchard."  Xander considered that.  "Still open except for the stairs and that would be an architectural element without having to decorate."  He looked up then went up to check where it went.  He came back down.  "There's no reason for it to be that far forward either.  So technically we could move it back closer to the door, almost against the wall.  That would give you more room in the hallway."

Xander went to look then shrugged as he came down.  "If you think it's doable."

"I think it wouldn't be too hard.  How often do you use the second floor?"

"Family's spare rooms."

"Ah."  He smiled and nodded.  He stood in a spot and looked up then moved a few feet forward.  "We can put it here then use part of the wall as a screen for the doorway.  That way you still have an entry."

"That I wanted in metal.  I was thinking some great Italian metalwork, like the neighbor's doorway and gate?"

"I saw that," he admitted.  "We can use that in panels?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Carry the wood as the frame to let it ease off."

"That also means it won't be blocked off so if we get nasty people who're trying to break in again we won't be surprised. They're the only ones who use the front door except for the dogs."  He let them out and walked him around the second floor.  "I'd love carpet up here but I love the look of wood floors too.  I do need wood floors in the practice area upstairs."  That got a nod and a note made.  "Plus closets.  As you saw downstairs, they hold a lot of sharp and pointy crap."

"We can do cabinets for those or true closets, Mr. Harris.  It's about the same during construction.  It's when you add them afterwards you end up running into money."  Xander nodded at that.  "Carpeting up here wouldn't be too hard to do.  Or did you want to decorate that and use throw rugs?  Maybe orientals since I can tell some of the designs up here lean that way?"

"I could," Xander admitted.  "I haven't even started to look at rugs yet."  He shrugged a bit.  "I need to find a good place to look."

"I can understand that."  He patted him on the back.  "How did you want to get up to the third floor?"

"Can we hide a small elevator?  Now and then we are sore or injured.  Officers you know."

"I can see hiding it if there's a space for that same staircase."  He looked around.  "We'd have to trim one of the rooms it looks like.  We could carry the staircase up further."  Xander nodded at that.  "How far over did you want it to go?"

"Say just over half...."  He measured it visually then moved.  "Put the apex of the curve about here?" he suggested.  That got a nod and he looked.  "With light.  Not direct light or can we find the windows with the shades built in?"

"We can.  That way you don't get tangled?"  Xander nodded.  "They're coming out with adjustable tint ones as well.  You'd have a, I think, a gas pane in between the windows and you can darken it with a dimmer switch.  So you can have some or a lot of light or total darkness."

"That sounds neat.  Can we look at those?"  He nodded, making another note.  "Do you see anything that needs fixed beyond Ryan's toilet that I have to replace the ball in?"  He went to fix that and came back out.  "Sorry."

"That happens to the best of houses, Mr. Harris," he assured him with a smile.  "How much were you thinking about for costs?"

Xander shrugged.  "I won fourteen million this year at poker.  Go me."

He laughed.  "It won't be that much."  He walked him back down to the living room.  "Will we be putting up part of their kingdom?"

"No, I'm getting bigger cages and a playset for them.  It's going to take up most of a wall."

He nodded.  "I'm sure they'll be happy."  He looked at the lizard that was staring at him.  "That's an exotic I've never seen before."

"He's a baby dragon."

The contractor smiled.  "Those have got to be rare."

"How long and how much do you think?"

"Some of it will depend on the woods for the staircase and what sort of counter you want.  Plus how we're going to do the new wall and the theater area.  Have you been to any of the ones in town?"  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"I'm, um, well I have a slight hormonal condition that makes people want to take me."

He patted him on the arm.  "I worked for Mitch last year, Mr. Harris."  He sighed in relief.  "How far up?"

"Ten.  That's why I'd better set up my own kingdom."

"I can see that.  What about that door in the hallway?"

"You can't move it, can't break it, can't damage it."  He got a confused look so he led him to show him.  He gasped.  "Yeah.  So we have to leave this one here.  Absolutely untouched."

"I can leave that one there.  Leaving the hallway intact would give you more privacy anyway."  Now he understood the basement being magic.  He walked him back to the living room to go over some basic costs for this sort of job while he did plans on his computer.  Then he pointed out they'd be driving them out of the house for about three weeks.  Xander said they could stay at a hotel if they had to.  They went over some of the wood choices.  Xander had a taste for maple and it was a wood you'd be likely to see in New York.  It also went well if he used a black iron or a bronze iron for the panels for the doorway.  Xander decided to make it closed in on one side, that way they could put a table there for things, just in case.  Then he listened to his ideas about decorating.  That would depend on things like painting plus narrow down his choices some when he present materials for his approval.  Which they could do for him and do a better job than he probably could.  Plus faster.

He took Xander down to a store he liked to show him the windows he wanted to show him and a few other things, to help him pick out the bathroom he wanted.  They did find a tub/shower combo that were linked.  A sunken tub with a shower sharing a wall that you could open and walk down into the tub.  A bit big but it'd suit him and his needs.  The shower had two heads, which would mean no more fussing lovers in the morning when they were running late.  He also picked out a two-sink vanity he liked so he found the options for countertop.  Xander decided to go with a light tan/rose/gold marble looking one.  Not marble but a good countertop that wouldn't mind even if he had to sit on it to bandage injuries. He finalized the estimate once Xander had picked paint colors, without the theater's accessories.  Xander had said he might be able to find them.  They went to the bank and the kid got him a cashier's check.  Then Xander went to bring his boys dinner and tell them it'd be starting in about a week.  He loved the people who knew what they wanted.

***

Xander walked the food into the breakroom, looking at Horatio, who smiled.  "Am I interrupting?"

"Not at the moment.  We'll eat after the meeting."  He smiled when Xander sat in Danny's lap to cuddle him.  "Any other cases we have to deal with?"

Xander raised a hand.  "Tony called.  Gibbs is going to come down to raid Sonny soon.  He caught him selling a few pills to someone in the military.  Not the formula."

"That's fine.  We'll help him when he gets down here.  Mac deals with that issue," Horatio said, making a note.  "Any other concerns, Xander?"

"Where did my emergency bags go?"

"My office," Horatio told him.  Xander rolled his eyes.  "Tough, Xander."

"Fine."

"We can hit the bank on the way home," Don said happily.

"I doubt it.  They close in an hour."  Xander gave him a look. "Besides, we'll need some of it for the three weeks we'll be displaced for the house updates.  That way we can stay at a nice hotel."  He grinned.  "It starts next week."

"How massive?" Danny asked with a gentle poke.

"Joining the two living rooms, fixing the practice area so it's more useable.  Doing something with the office to expand it a bit."  He grinned.  "He said three weeks, including painting.  So I've got to do some furniture shopping.  Another good reason to keep them out of the bank.  Plus the rest of the holiday shopping."

"Fine," Don agreed.  "Will we be comfy?"

"Yup.  And the ferrets are going to get their own kingdom."

"We need to expand our cage," Speed admitted.

"I'll be getting all new ones so you guys can have our old ones," Xander promised.

"Sure, Xander.  Thanks."  Speed opened the box and took out his dinner.  It was clearly his dinner since it had gooey cheese and pasta.  He settled back to eat and moan.  "Any other problems you see?"

"Yeah, Andrea got a new contract to hit Ryan.  She said she'd give me the details if I cut her poker debt by half.  Otherwise she'd have to do it when she could hit my hair too.  She'll fax it later."

"That's fine," Horatio agreed, marking that down as well.  "What are you doing with the furniture?"

"I was going to donate it somewhere.  To a place that does families that were burned out or for hurricane sufferers."

"I know a few good places," Horatio said with a smile.  "Anything else?"

"You guys still haven't gotten the last four people in the terrorist plot."  He took his tacos to eat, handing Danny his. "Technically Speed's eating Don's but there's a good one in the next box, Don."  They dug in.  "Anything I can help with?"

"You'll be busy refurnishing the house," Frank said patiently.

"Well, yeah."  He looked at Don, then at Danny.  "Do we want to add a second desk or work area to the office?"

"We spread out now and then but I don't think we need a *huge* desk area," Don said.  "Maybe a small table?"

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Do we want to paint in there?"

"Please," Danny said.  "Go lighter?"  Xander nodded, making notes on that.  "What about the living rooms?"

"They're going to be a pretty, light blue/gray color.  We're adding a counter area to the kitchen under the windows.   We're going to be fixing our bathroom so there's no more bumping into each other.  I'm debating carpeting upstairs or throw rugs."

"Go to the place we got my mother's, Xander," Eric told him.  Xander nodded, making note of that.  "They've got some nice stuff and it won't get much wear up there."

"Good point.  Oh, we're moving the stairs a bit back.  They said it wasn't going to be that hard."  That got another nod.   "That's about all we're doing really."

"How much is this going to cost your gas fund from the poker games?" Don asked.

"Um, about sixty grand.  Plus furniture and fixtures."

Don winced.  "How much did we pay up front?"

"Enough."  He gave him a kiss then smiled.  "Eat, silly.  Pick a hotel that's pet friendly."

"We can rent a place for a few weeks," Danny said.

"Technically the other house is on the market but you still own it," Frank pointed out.  "You could move back there for a few weeks, boys."

"We'd have to finish repainting it," Xander said.  "I could do that though."  He called their realtor.  "Is there *any* movement on the other house?  Yup, that's me.  Yeah, that one.  No, we're doing some renovations at the manor."  He smiled.  "That's why I'm asking.  Any showing, anything?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  Then we'll be back there for a few weeks.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She'll call if she wants to show it."  They all nodded at that.  "Any suggestions I'm missing?"

"Are you going to be putting a grill on the porch since the last one got blown away during the last hurricane?"

"Um, probably.  That's what I forgot, the hottub deck and the garage."

Don snorted.  "We can build a new one, Xander."  Xander grinned at him for it.  "Are you fixing our closets?"

"Yes."  Danny laughed.  "Yours is smallest."

"I don't need that many clothes, munckin."  He patted him on the back.  "We done, boss?  I have to finish that report so I can home and pack my closet."  Horatio nodded so they grabbed food and left.

Xander followed Horatio up to his office to look at the bags.  "There should be more.  I had more when I left."

"We consolidated, Xander."  He gave him a look when he closed the door.  "What?"

"It's a surprise."  Horatio nodded at that.  "I'm putting in a theater and I wanted to put in one that would make them have happy kid and young adult memories," he said quietly.

"Hmm.  I know the place you'll want to decorate like.  I'll have a friend up there take pictures."  Xander squealed and hugged him.  "How many of the bags went to the house?"

"None.  Don got fussy.  That's how I know I should have about sixteen."

"You have about eight more in one of the evidence rooms."  Xander gave him a confused look. "Doing trace analysis from the people who brought it in."

"Uh-huh.  That's still three too few."

"We consolidated seven down into four, Xander."  He nodded at that.  "Did you drive?"

"Yup and I have the corvette."

"I'll bring them over tonight."

"Okay."  He beamed.  "Thank you.  Maple's a good wood, right?"

"I like it.  It is a wood you'd see up there."  He smiled as the boy bounced out.  It would give him things to fuss over for the next few months.  Once the real furniture was in there'd be new ornaments to do.  Plus the Christmas tree coming up.   He'd be fussing well into the new year.  It was a good, if expensive, hobby for him.

***

Xander got everything moved back well within the week and then went furniture shopping.  Starting with an office place. "Hi."  He smiled, walking around to look at what he needed.  He looked at the top of one work area.  He liked the design, kinda.  It was efficient and left you lots of work areas for a compact desk.  The salesman moved closer.  "Can these be fitted with wood tops and data jacks?"

"Datajacks are in the pullout," he said, showing him.  Xander frowned at that.  "Office?"

"Home office for my boyfriend."  That got a nod.  "He's an officer.  Sometimes he needs to be able to spread out.  This style would give us the best fit, but it's metal and we both have laptops."

"Have you thought about going wireless?"

"Yeah but my laptop hates it sometimes.  I could use a new one, I know that."  He looked again then sighed.  "Not in wood?"

"No, not really, sir.  We have a laminate we can put overtop."  He pointed at a piece they had done that to, getting a head shake.  "I can't think of anywhere that would carry it in that form."

"That's okay."  Xander looked around.  He did know some about construction....  Hmm.  He smiled.  "Thank you for your help."  He left, heading to look at the local Home Depot.  The salesman was more than happy to show him some plans and let him sketch out what he had seen.  "I have a desk I can put against that edge.  We have about six bookcases in there but some shelves underneath the two arms would go well.  Plus I need to wire it for data ports and electric.  I can't find what I want.  I did work construction for a while, nearly eight months."

"It's not that hard to build," he said, taking him to look at what they had for plans.  Xander picked up a few of those and they went to look at woods.  "Were you thinking metal, wood, or countertop sort of top?"

"I was thinking a smooth wood top.  Maybe a recessed hatch for the dataports but one that wouldn't crimp the cables."

"If you leave them slightly raised or able to be pulled up that could work," he suggested.  He showed him something with another kitchen product.  "Let them be pulled up this way."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "It's like putting in a kitchen drawer only standing up."  Xander nodded at that.  "Now, if you wanted wood, I'd suggest this sort of top," he said, patting a countertop.  "It's hardy, it's solid, and it's easy enough to work with.  What do you have right now?:

"We have  mix of cherry and oak.  I was going to fix that too."  The man laughed and nodded.  He pulled his camera out of his pocket, paging through the stored pictures until he got to the study's.  "This is what we have right now.  It's being painted a lighter color.  I was going to let the furniture decide that."  He ran a hand over the countertop.  "That's a bit lighter than I want.  My desk is tiger maple with cherry highlighting and brass pulls."  He walked him to another selection.  "How does that go on?"

"It's like parquet.  It's tongue and groove.  You'd have to put a sealer coat over it to keep it smooth.  This one you wouldn't," he said, pointing at one.  "We have a lot of that in stock since it's not popular around here.  That's why it's a bit cheaper but it's the same sort of material."

Xander ran a hand over it.  It had a satin smooth finish.  It was low gloss.  "Humidity?"

"Not bad with it.  The finish is sanded then two coats of finish applied.  It shouldn't even if you put a heat lamp on it."

"That might be a good idea.  One of mine is a CSI.  They do funny things in the microwave now and then."  That got a laugh.  "Easy to cut and match seams?"

"Pretty easy for what you want to do."  He showed him how they had matched the seam and he nodded.  "You don't have to caulk the crack.  That'll mean it'll be easier to move later on if you need to or they need a long, flat surface."  That got another nod.  "Are you planning on anything else?"

"Some recessed shelves holding up the arms.  I know I'll need a pole in the center to hold the weight of the computers.  What about putting my desk here," he said, pointing at an edge on the sketch.

"That could work and that would look good against your desk.  The shelves, if you have the room, just set them back so there's an overhang for feet."  Xander nodded, letting him take him over to the tools to find what he'd need then to get him the wood he'd need.  It went to a warehouse but with the construction going on that wasn't that unusual.  "Do you want to apply for a Home Depot card today?" he asked.

"No.  My boyfriend is picky about that," he pouted.

The guy smiled and nodded, letting him pay cash for his order.  His wallet was *seriously* fat so he doubted he'd need a credit card anytime in the near future.  "Okay.  Looks like we can deliver it tomorrow, Mr. Harris.  We'll have to have someone there of course."

"I'm not doing anything," he said dryly, getting a laugh.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome and remember us if you need to do more home improvement projects."  The other man smiled and left, going to change the plans to suit his needs.  He smiled.  He was a cute young kept boy.  He wished some of the other spoiled kept boys and mistresses in the city were that cute and nice.  Some were downright rude to the guys in the store when they needed things.

***

Xander walked into a furniture store, smiling at the man coming his way.  "I'm redoing my house."  That got a nod.  "I have about eleven to fifteen friends that come over.  Most of which work with the local PD.  We need some recliners, we need some seating, and we need a lot of seating that'll let you sit by yourself or cuddle."

"Sectionals or separate pieces?" he asked, leading him back to the living room furniture.

"I'm thinking one big sectional so we can talk, eat, that stuff, but some pieces that can be pulled over."  He showed him the paint swatch.  "It'll be that color.  We've got dogs, a baby dragon, and ferrets that run around.  I'm a good one about textures.  I need soft.  I was ordered no leather."

"I can see that."  He stopped at one.  "This set would seat about seven, maybe eight if they're not overweight," he offered, letting him see and run a hand over it.

Xander did that.  "I don't need a sleeper. We have four sleepy family bedrooms."  That got a nod and they moved onto another one.  "I like that one," he said, pointing.  "But we'd have to put two together."  They went to look at it.  "Can we do that without making a big square?"

"The pieces can be rearranged," he said, showing him how some of them moved.  "You can move them apart, together, whatever you needed."  Xander looked then looked around, going to look at another seating set.  The boy was certainly picky.  "How big is your living room going to be?"

"About as big as two-thirds of this floor.  Minus space for the ferret's kingdom."  That got a slow nod.  He smiled.  "We presently have it divided with a foyer in between.  I'm fixing that nastiness."  He patted the one he was on.  "Does this one move the same way?  I like this style better than the other one, even if I liked the fabric on that one."

"We can have this one ordered in a variety of fabrics."  He showed him on the diagram which parts they could put together.  "Now, if you do it this way you could create a three- sided square.  That's good for conversation.  Then a big ottoman or four in the center?"  He nodded slowly at that.  "Maybe breaking up the corners with tables?  You can angle your tv so it's easily seen?"

Xander considered the shape of his living room.  "We'd need to add another seat or two to the back.  And I need a new tv eventually.  Ours is small."  He looked around.  "What fabrics does it come in?"

He pulled up the swatches.  "If you don't like these,  you can special order the other fabric.  It'll be extra but it shouldn't take any longer than getting it with these."

He felt.  "I like the suede texture but I'm worried about it sticking and the ferrets tipping over food or muddy paws."

"Ah."  He walked him off to look at a chair he had.  "This is a microfiber.  The same texture, only softer and it's washable with water."  Xander ran a hand over it, looking pleased. "We can order this fabric in a few colors."  He let him look, watching him tap a silver, brown, and blue one.  "That's a very unique pattern."

"My walls are going to be a gray/blue color but lighter.  There's going to be maple wood and some ironwork around as well."  That got a nod.  "If not, what about this color?" he said, tapping one.

"That doesn't really go with the paint swatch."

"Hmm."  He looked.  "A solid color would probably be best so I can change things later, huh?"  He got a nod.  "Then let's go with this darker blue?"  He let him see it.  Then he looked around, finding a few extra chairs. "I need two of these in a color that would coordinate but not match.  There'll be some wood tables around as well.  Oh, those ottomans?"  He let him see what they had.  He ran a hand over one.  "I like this.  Four you think?  Would there be enough room?"

"There should be.  If you add in an extra four seats instead of two definitely.  Or you could break up the back with a table.  As long as it's the same height it shouldn't bother anyone and if it's sturdy enough they could toss a pillow onto it."

Xander considered that. "Okay, let's do that."  That got a nod and they filled out the order form, letting Xander pay for it.  He had a plan book for tables too.  He could do that.  They weren't that hard either.  Plus the dogs would love the ottomans.  Hubert would love a perch in the sun.  He went to the pet store but they didn't have what he wanted.  So he decided to make a trip back to the store for him - just a different one.  He found a padded rest in leather.  That would warm nicely under him and as an accent would fit pretty well.  "Hi, can you help me?" he asked an associate, getting her attention.  She came over to help him. "Does this come in any other colors?"

"We have it black and brown only, sir.  Why?"

"I have a pet lizard that'll need a napping spot in the sun.  He's just bigger than lap sized plus tail."

She led him over to something else.  "This isn't leather but it's a nice fabric and it's dark so it'll trap heat for him.  It's padded a bit more lightly."

Xander felt the fabric.  "He's still clawed.  I'd need stairs too."

She smiled and led him to the bed stairs and then a small table.  "How about something like this?  Then you could add a pillow?

"I like that," he decided, buying it and having them deliver it to the old house.  He could cover the top easily enough he supposed.  He did work with leather.  He went to the fabric store to pick out what leather he wanted and to find stuff for drapes.  Their present ones irritated the hell out of him sometimes.  He found what he wanted and sighed.  They'd hate him if he did that.  But they were perfect.  The perfect color, the perfect texture.  He even found another one with most of the same colors that would look good as throw pillows.  He sighed and bought both bolts.  He dropped them off in the rental area, telling the guard he was going to be getting some wood the next day for something for the new house, getting a nod.  Then he headed home to cook dinner.  He'd do carpet tomorrow.

***

Don smiled at Xander, watching him look around the store.  It was their day off and Xander was shopping for the little nicknacks that went on shelves and things to make a house look less like a catalog shoot.  "What about these?" he suggested, pointing at one Danny would like.

Xander looked.  "Hmm.  Do we want steel or brass accents?"

"I like black steel personally.  Brass is a bit shiny for my tastes."

"Bronze?"

"Is nice.  Will it go?"

"Some maple accents."

Don shook his head.  "Nope."  He led him to another set, these were in a metallic dull silver.  "How about these?  A nice compromise?  It's a set that Danny could like."

"Do you like it?"

"They're neat.  Where are we putting them?"

"In the living room.  On tables and things."  He grinned.  "Every house has some."

"Mom has picture frames for that."

"We'll have a whole area of pictures."  That got a smile.  They put that into their cart and went to look at lamps.  "Okay.  We have a microfiber couch with a texture like suede.  We have ottomans in a good contrasting but coordinating fabric and a few chairs in the same color.  They're all in the blue family."

"Which we all look good in," Don said.

"We do."  He kissed him.  "We have heavy curtains because I'm tired of sun glare and Hubert has a perch coming with stairs."  That got a nod.  "It'll have a dark leather top.  We have one that'll be set up for reading over by the ferrets.  That'll also be by the windows so they can get up there if they want.  Do you want.... wood, iron, or ceramic lamps?" he asked, pointing at his ideal selections.

Don considered it then pointed at one.  "Those.  They're black so they'll go and they won't detract from any color.  What color are the drapes and are we getting throw pillows?"

"Yup and it's a tapestry."  Don rolled his eyes. "It'll go very well.  I promise."

"Okay.  As long as it's not like your former wardrobe of lounging jammies."

"No, it's not."  Don grinned and gave him a hug then they picked out a few fatter, round lamps and a few thinner, more angular lamps.  "Do you want more lights in the office?"

"Could yeah.  Especially if we're getting a work area.  We'll need some directional lights."  Xander pointed at a wood.  "That color?"

"The new desk is that color.  It'll go with mine and I'm fixing the bookshelf issue."  That got a nod and they picked out some bendable lamps, one with a magnifying head in case Danny had to work.   They moved on to look at other things.  They had the SUV today so they could put bookshelves in the back if they wanted.  Xander found a bigger statue for a table that he wanted and added it then another one to balance out the room.  Then a third one for by the door he said.  Don gave him an odd look but he smiled sweetly and Don let it go.  They decided on a few tabletop fountains.  Not the tiny ones that ran on batteries but closer to real size ones.  The pets would love them too.   Xander did get some extra rocks in a better hue for their room then they went to check out.  Xander dropped things off at the storage area then they went to look at carpet because he was stuck.  Still.  Don picked out something he liked and it'd go everywhere but Ryan's room.  "Ryan's room?"

"Wolfe can put down throw rugs if he wants," he reminded him.  Xander beamed at that and nodded, getting a salesman to give him what the contractor had told him to show them.  They got it ordered and then went to do the grocery shopping.  "Where are we getting the new desk from?"

"Small specialty place."  He took a kiss before starting the car.  "It's a nice desk.  Plenty of space to work even if we're all in there together."

"I could like that."  He stroked over Xander's thigh, getting a shiver.  "Want me to drive?"  He nodded and wiggled over while Don wiggled under him, changing places.  The cop outside the car gave them an odd look.  "It's my turn to drive," he said once the window was down.

"Is this a commercial vehicle, sir?"

Xander smiled sweetly.  "No, it's my bit of hipness and bling, Officer.  I needed it to be as stunning and attention getting as I am."

"Are you an artist, sir?"

"No, I'm a member of GHS.  That's why it's bulletproof."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "Never mind, heard the rumors, sir.  Detective?"  Don smirked and nodded.  "You're never going to be able to back up out of here.  The red car is in your way."

"It's got power steering.  It's a Range Rover."  That got a look and he turned on the cameras then backed them up slowly and carefully, waving at the person who was waiting patiently for their parking spot.  He beeped at the cop then they went off.  "Does the whole department know?"

"Yeah, since the last time I nearly got taken.  Stetler spread it around that you're my passionate love slave and Danny likes to take it up the ass.  All to keep my magnificence worn out," he finished with a dramatic sigh.

"Don't make me drown you tonight," he teased back, rolling up the windows.  "Goofball."

"Well, *yeah*," he admitted with a grin.  "When does Gibbs get in?"

"Tonight.  Why?"

"Since it's just him and Tony I was going to let them have a room."

"That's good.  Let's drop this stuff off then we'll pick up dinner on the way to the airport?"

"Okay."  They dropped off the few throw rugs Xander had decided on and then went to the airport once the storage area was closed up again.  Don didn't even get out of the car.   Xander let Don park while he went inside to check on the flight, then went to the security gate, smiling and buying a sign.  Gibbs spotted him and nodded, getting a nod back.  They got their bags and came out of the secure area.  Xander handed someone else the sign as they walked out.  "We have the SUV with us because we were picking up ornaments.  Want to bum rooms with us?"

"It'll save the agency," Tony said.  "Plus I can use the tub."

"Nope.  We're doing home renovations," Xander said with a sheepish grin.  "Sorry.  We have a good selection of help though."

"That'll do."  He gave him a hug.  "Got your email."  Xander beamed.  "I can help."

"Tonight, tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow probably.  Tonight he'll want to bug Horatio and Mac."

"They're coming for dinner even if I do have to blackmail them," Xander said, making Gibbs laugh.  "They are."  He grinned and called.  "I have a Gibbs and a Tony with me, Don, and the SUV.  Of course you're coming for dinner, Speed."  He smiled at the 'I'm cooking'.  "Don't make me blackmail, Speed."  He laughed.  "How about Horatio in the pearl gray and light pink suit?  Looked fantastic on him in the store...." Speed moaned. "Please?  You guys and Mac, or him and Mac, either one.  Picking up table top ornaments and carpet for upstairs.  Thanks.  We'll be there."  He hung up. "They'll be over after dinner but he'll have Horatio blackmail Mac to come too."  Tony laughed at that.  Don drove up and they got into the back.  "Want me to drive?" he called.

"Hell no, Xander.  Cuddle Gibbs.  It's still my turn."  Don drove on, shaking his head at the silliness of his boy.

Tony handed over a bag.  "Forgot one."

He looked.  "That's okay.  It can come home with us."  He put it beside him.  "So, is it a tight case?"

"Very," Gibbs assured him.  "He won't be bothering Messer anymore."

Xander beamed.  "That might be good.  Even though I do have a mutual non-ass kicking agreement unless he bothers Danny."  Gibbs snickered at that.  "I made myself clear when he got here.  I heard what he had tried and how it had pissed Danny off.  He didn't need that down here."

"No, he didn't," Tony agreed.  He grinned at Xander.  "Greg sends his love and a spanking."

"Why?" Gibbs asked patiently.

"Because he sent me strawberry lube," Tony said with an evil smirk.  "That's why Greg warned you he wasn't going to be waking up on our last day off, boss."

"More than I need to know, DiNozzo."

"He was happy but payback was so sweet."  He grinned at Xander.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Did you get the other present?"

"I did and it helped the payback be so very sweet."  Don snickered up front.  "You saw?"

"Helped him find it," he admitted.  "Then he made his own version."

"Which was very nice," Tony assured him.  "You should try one."

"I have one, I used it on Danny.  Danny had to call off work and I got scowled at by Horatio for it."

"I got to baby Danny *all* day," Xander said proudly.  "Drove him insane."  Gibbs laughed at that, shaking his head.  "We picked up dinner.  We still like Italian?"  They both nodded.  "Good, because we've been shopping all day and my butt is too tired to cook."  They pulled through their gate and got out, letting him take the bag inside.  "We're back," he called.

"That's good," Danny called.  "Dinner?"

"We picked some up.  Did you cook?" Don asked.

"Not really.  Appetizers.  I figured you two would.  Hey, Gibbs, Tony."  He fed Tony a bite, earning a moan.  He smirked.  "Like Nana's?"

"Just like my grandmother's," he agreed happily, taking another one.  "Which room is which?"

"There's two joined ones or the one Speed and H usually borrow," Don showed him, taking him back there.

"We'll take the joined ones," Tony said with a grin.  Xander walked him into his room and kicked open the footlocker, getting a look of awe and a moan.  "Oh, I need that."

Xander hugged him.  "I'm expanding again soon."

"You haven't used all the ones in there.  You can't buy more until we've used all of those," Don called, walking past the bedroom door.

Xander shot his back a look then snorted.  "I have so.  Even if he was nearly unconscious from it."  He grinned.  "All clean.  We use rubbers on them.  Well, non latex rubbers."  He waved a hand.  "Borrow away and lube's in the closet on the shelf.  We buy it by the case around here."  He skipped out at the giggling Tony was doing, going to play with the dogs.

Tony came out, giving him a hug.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome.  How long are you guys in for?"

"Four days probably," Gibbs said.  "What did you need his help with?"

"Some special holiday stuff."

"Uh-huh.  Fine.  How long?"

"Few hours.  Maybe hitting a few stores."  Tony shrugged at that.  Xander had run the theater idea past him and Tony had found a good place to get seats and things.  "Please?"

"Sure, Xander.  Tomorrow night.  Let us get briefed tonight."

"Okay."  He bounced into the kitchen and got fed, moaning a bit.  "I love your grandmother's recipes."  He kissed him then checked on his ferrets, letting them loose so he could play with them.

Gibbs looked at the white ferret crawling up his leg.  "What's your name?"

"Both white ones are named Beauty and the others are named George.  Before you can ask, a demon gave me the second pair and I never realized.  That's why we have two Spots too."

"I guess that happens," Gibbs said, petting the squirmy thing in his lap.  She eventually wiggled her way up his stomach and down into his shirt.  He had to untuck it to get her out.  "I don't have that furry of a chest, Beauty."  He put her down.  She went to play with Tony, who was playing with both Georges.  He shook his head when he felt something crawling against his neck then down his shoulder, then down his shirt.  He pulled that one out too, putting her in his lap.  "Here, do it in reverse order," he teased.  "They remind me of Sanders when he hasn't had coffee."

Tony laughed.

"Greggy said the same thing," Xander assured him, getting a louder laugh from Tony and one from Danny.  "Did we bring in the food?"

"Dishing it up now, impatient."

"You know, I could do what I showed Greggy how to do."

Danny glared at him.  "I already had to call off once this month thanks to too much sex, Xander.  Not again this month."  Xander shrugged, making Tony snicker.

"How long before the house is done?" Gibbs asked.

"Two more weeks," Danny sighed.  "They got a bit behind when the old fridge went out one night and had to be replaced plus the damage fixed."

"We were running under budget anyway," Xander said.  "I'm fine with it.  The new fridge is bigger.  That way Don can stock midnight snacks."

Don gave him a look.  "That's what leftovers are for."

Xander looked at him.  "What was Ryan doing earlier?"

"Blessing the house to Strife and Ares."

"Speaking of them," Gibbs said.  "Aphrodite's shown up a few times recently."

"I love the lady in pink but she's not my Goddess; we're under Cupid," Xander said happily.  "Well, level tens are Cupid's and Strife's, but yeah, Tony and Greggy are under Cupid."

Gibbs shook his head.  "She's trying to fix me up."

"Well, she'd know," Don quipped.  Mac knocked then walked in.  "Hey, no blackmail needed."

"I wanted to know what he had on me."  Xander bounced over to tell him, getting a groan.  "That's a good one.  What was Ryan doing earlier?"

"Blessing the house to Ares and Strife," Don told him.  Danny came out with plates, handing them out.  He looked at Beauty.  "I know you're curious but I will put you back in your cage if you get into my plate tonight."  She wiggled down and went to help her master eat.  He petted her but didn't let her have any.  "Is there a regional convention coming up this year?" he asked Xander.

"I sponsored that for Horatio and Speed but there can be," Xander offered.  "A Southeast one?"  He shrugged.  "I'm fine with it."

"You should be saving some of that," Danny reminded him.

"As I told the contractor, I made fourteen mil off poker this year and I'm still living off the interest of the old stuff except for the renovations.  I'm fine on money."

Don finished chewing his current bite.  "You came back from the convention with that much, Xander.  You had national debt level of money in the bags."

"I did?"  Don nodded.  So did Mac.  "Huh.  I estimate.  That's all the IRS wants since it's an illegal poker game."  He ate another bite.

"They can't make you claim that," Tony said.

"If he admits to it then he has to," Gibbs said.  "Plenty of people wouldn't."

Xander shrugged.  "I mentioned it accidentally a few years back, after the first trip to Vegas.  Now they ask."

"Why are we being audited?" Danny asked.

"Because the guy who helped me put down my occupation as househusband/bedtoy."

"Ah, some tightass upstairs didn't like that answer," Don said wisely.

"Next time, put homemaker," Danny told him.

"He filled it out!  I thought it was an acceptable answer!"  He grinned. "That is closer to my duties than not.  I could've put pet sitter too."  He fed the ferrets and Hubert a bite, getting whimpers from both dogs.  He tossed them each a meatball and they were happy.  He finished his plate and Don pointed.  "Yes, Don."  He went to get seconds, coming back to eat some more.  "We now have carpet for the second floor."

"I thought you liked the wood floors," Danny said.

"I do but they're being put into the practice room once it's fixed to fix *that* floor.  Besides, this way it won't echo when Ryan's up there."

"Good point," Danny decided.  "Will it match?"

"Everything but Wolfe's room and he can use throw rugs."  Don ate another bite then swallowed and smirked.  "The wood floor's going in our room too from what I understand."

"Yup.  In the areas where people see it since it's pretty."

"Which means no more ugly carpet none of us liked," Danny said.  He nodded.  "I like that idea.  Good job, Xander."  Xander preened.  "What about the living room stuff?"

"All ordered.  They said it'll be done about three days before we can move in."

"Good.  Then take your SUV and go pick up the money you left in the practice room," Danny ordered.  Xander whimpered.  "Ryan's blessing today uncovered a lot of bags, Xander."  Xander moaned.  "Tonight.  The contractor found them and was very amused.  Ryan explained it as it was your poker gas fund."  Xander nodded, finishing up.

"Someone's going with you," Mac ordered.  "Even in the SUV, Xander."

"You have that patient, mom, 'take my hand before we cross the street' voice down pat, Mac," Tony joked.

"That's because Xander played poker with assassins and people like that," Mac said dryly.

"How long before Caine gets here?" Gibbs asked.

"Probably a good few minutes.  He was starting dinner when I called on the way over."

"I'll go," Gibbs told him.  Tony looked at him.  "You'll get to see it tomorrow."  He got up, putting his plate into the sink.  He finished his coffee and did the same then followed Xander out.  "Want me to drive?"

"I can."

"You sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure."  He paused, looking at the gate that was opening.  "Hmm."  A familiar face got out.  "What're you doing on this coast?"

"They send me wherever scumbags are hiding," Ian Edgerton said.  "The Orlando office has crappy weapons."

"They have crappy agents," Xander told him. "Doesn't surprise me.  What do you need?"

"Rifle with a scope.  I couldn't get mine on the plane even with my badge."

"We're going to get the money from the house but I can let you into the warehouse on the way back."

"We can head there first," Gibbs offered.  "That way he doesn't have to help carry."

"I did in New York," Ian said dryly.  "Xander thought I'd make a good shopping buddy."  Don opened the door to give him a confused look.  He waved.  "Agent Edgerton, Fugitive Squad."

"He's one of the guys from the convention and Orlando has crappy weapons."

"They have shitty agents, I'm surprised they're that good," Don said dryly.  "One came down to bug Xander the other day about a poker buddy and wouldn't leave him alone.  Even tried to pull his hair.  Frank Tripp ended up punching him for insulting the PD too."  He smirked a bit.  "Going to help him lessen the weapons cabinet?"

"Just borrowing.  The higher ups said as long as it's under PD control it's fine.  They think they'll use them to bust other weapons people."

"Cool.  Help him heft money back too?"

"I can do that," he agreed.  "Did in New York."  Don laughed, closing the door again.  "I'll ride with you guys."  Xander pulled out the keys.  "No.  You draw way too much attention," Ian said.

"I'm used to driving DiNozzo's," Gibbs said, taking the keys.  He put Xander into the back and let the other agent walk around to get into the front.  "Same place, right?"

"Yup."  Xander watched them back out, shaking his head.  "You guys know I do drive it all the time, right?"

"Yeah, but why strain yourself today?" Ian quipped.

"I'm not that bad.  The succuba that stole me on the way home drained me down pretty good."

Ian looked back at him.  "Tell me you're joking."  Xander grinned but shook his head. "How?"

"There was a not-Don waiting on me to get home."

"Oh."  He nodded. "Okay then."  They headed to the other house.  "This is a nice neighborhood," he said when they pulled through the community's gates.  "Lots of trees."

"They're useful trees too," Xander said happily.  They pulled up to the garage, letting him get out.

"What's the new thing on top?" Gibbs asked.

"The new practice area.  The old one was too small so we're using it to expand the bedroom."   He walked in through the backdoor, heading for the door off the kitchen.  It was still available.  He opened a closet and sighed in displeasure.  "I didn't think it was that full."  He started hefting bags out of there, letting the guys look in the other closets.

Ian whimpered.  "Xander."

"I know.  Some of it's been in there over a year.  I forgot."  He hefted out more bags, finally emptying the closet.  "Hey, Adam's spare sword."  He put it on top of the bags.  He floated them out to the SUV.

"So *that's* what he meant by Sunnydale stuff," Ian said quietly.

"Yup," Gibbs agreed.  "Sanders is fascinated and trying to make it work for normal people."  Xander came back to float the rest of it out.  They watched him head for the office.  "Where are you going?"

"Office safe, just in case."  He looked.  The cover was open but it was still sealed.  He sighed and opened it then the other one.  He pulled out the small chest and the briefcase, then handed those to Ian.  He handed another box to Gibbs.  "Electronics."  He closed that one and moved to the one in the hallway, pulling out the large box in there.  It was metal, it was locking, and it jingled.  "Not coins," he said at the odd look he got.  He pointed.  "That one's jewels that've been sent recently.  I shove them in here.  Want to get the one in the living room in the trunk?"  He walked out with it, putting it into the back with the stuff Gibbs was looking in.  "One of my poker buddies makes those.  He loses horribly now and then."  Ian came out with the trunk, letting him stack it on top.  Then he closed the trunk.  "There we go."  He went to lock the doors and wiggle his way into the back again. "Did we get all three closets?"

"Yeah," Ian agreed.  "Unless you had one hidden?"

"Um, not in this side."  He went to look, finding Gibbs behind him when he sighed.  "What?" he defended.

"I was wondering how you got past the bug."

"One of the demons that wanted us made this when they kidnaped the whole family during a picnic.  That's why we have dual pets."  He floated those few bags out then got the money out of the safe and the few jewels too.  Then he walked back and closed it once Gibbs was out, floating them out to the back too.  "There."  He smiled.  "All cleaned out.  No more temptation."  He wiggled his way into the back again, restacking them. Gibbs got out and shut the other door again, letting him lock it.  "Do you know where the weapons warehouse is, Gibbs?"

"Yup.  Caine gave me the address when I texted him.  Your map system works well."

"Thank you.  I still get lost."  They drove off and Xander had to move stuff so he could unroll the window.  "Hi, Bart," he called as they went past the gate.  The guard waved and signed them in.  They drove to the storage pod he had, letting him get out to get them through the security system.  Horatio called when one didn't want to work for him, giving him the code.  He punched it in and they went inside.  "Horatio changed the codes on me again," he complained at the tolerant looks.  He led them to the back.  "Let's see."  He looked.  "Assault rifles.  Machine guns.  Handguns."  He moved that box to another stack.  "Stuff I just got.  Ah, sniper rifles."  He opened six long cases.   "Borrow away."  He looked and opened another two.  "Another caliber."

Ian looked then at him.  "You do like us, right?"

"I love you, you're a good shopping buddy and you actually beat me at poker."  He gave him a brief hug and went to see what Gibbs was looking at.  "I like the older one better," he said when Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "The old one had more style and class.  This one's ewww."

Gibbs walked off shaking his head, going to see what Ian was playing with.  Then he glared at Xander, who trudged back there.  "Xander."

"What?  I can use them.  Honestly.  He need silver bullets?"  Gibbs shuddered.  He pulled up one.  "This is the one I liked for having to hunt long distance to get some harmful demons."  He checked it over.  "Horatio cleaned it after he used it.  It fires a bit off to the right when you're on your stomach," he offered, handing it off.  "The blue one I've tested.  The others I haven't had the chance yet.  My gun range got shut down."  Calleigh walked in.  "Hi, Calleigh."

"Hi, Xander."  She came back to look, pointing at one.  "I haven't seen that one, can I?"  He pulled it out for her.

"It's not a great gun," Ian told her.  "Accurate over longer but not shorter distances."

"What sort of distance?" Gibbs asked.  Ian gave him a look.  "I was a sniper in the Corps, kid."

Ian smiled.   "I should shoot against you some day."  He pulled out one to check it.  "Has chamber burrs."  Xander got him a newer one, letting him look.  "Nice."  He cocked it.  "Bit hard."  He went back to Xander's favorite.  It was clearly well loved and polished.  He nodded.  "I'll use yours."

"Can I test fire, Xander?" Calleigh begged.

"Sure.  Horatio does now and then," he said dryly.  He pointed at the box he had moved.  "That's one you haven't seen yet ether."  He walked out behind her, sealing back up the warehouse.  "There's been a few dealers who've sent me samples of their guns to see if I want to collect them for my exemplar too."  The guard walking the rounds gave him an odd look.  "Hi, Xander Harris."

"I know, sir.  The ones with you?"

"Borrowing," Ian told him.  He flashed his badge.  "The Orlando office didn't have anything decent and I couldn't fly mine even with my badge."

"Bet that sucks," he said, shaking his head and making sure it was sealed before walking on.  "Have a nice night, guys."

"You too," Xander called.  They got back into the SUV, though Calleigh gave the back an odd look when he had to wiggle.  He waved and they drove off once the door was shut.  "I need to fix the back door issue."

"The dealership should be able to," Gibbs pointed out.   They drove back to the house.  Ian got out and went to stow the gun in his rental car while Xander floated the bags inside, making a few people swear.

"I wondered why Calleigh suggested a counting machine," Tony said.  He looked at Ian.  "There's some dinner left."

"I should head."  Xander came out and handed him something.  "Silver?"

"Hey, it works on a lot of things, human and not."  He grinned.  "You never know what lives at Disney."

"Good point."  He gave him a shoulder squeeze then headed off much happier.  He even called Don to tell him about the dance of the bags and the warehouse.  It'd make him shudder but it'd be good for him.

Xander sat down, looking at the stuff.  "I hate when I forget I hid stuff."

"Uh-huh," Tony said, reaching over to smack him on the head.

"The ferrets are up before you ask," Horatio said.

"I knew that.  The same as I know I hit Hubert's tail, that's why he tried to bite me."  He petted his baby dragon and they stared at the bags together.

"Why didn't you like the modern version?" Gibbs asked.

"Too technological.  If you can get a two-year-old able to hit the target it's not a weapon, it's a toy."  He shrugged.  "I don't need auto targeting.  Anything I hit is going to be bigger than the side of a barn or my SUV."  Tony snickered at that.  "Speaking of, the silver box in the back is yours, Tony."  Don went to look.  His groan of pain brought Horatio and Danny, who came back to hug him.

"I love you even though you do have another one," he said calmly, going to heft them inside.

Xander looked at Tony, shrugging a bit.  "I'm all for techno toys but not in my weapons."

"That'll probably work in your favor.  The older stuff is cheaper and easier to find."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  Still can't."  He handed over a card.  "Is he wanted?

"By multiple governments," he agreed dryly.  "Do us all a favor, Xander."

"I'll see if he's a good guy or not," he agreed.  Tony smiled and nodded.  They looked at the bags and sighed again, Tony coming over to help sort and count. A few bags were empty or nearly empty so they got put aside.  The rest.... well there was a hell of a lot of money.  Horatio and the boys carried in the other stuff, putting it into a corner.  Then Gibbs got Xander on the head.  "Ow!"

"Next time don't leave that much stuff sitting in the house.  It's a security risk."

"The bank hates me."

"They do not.  They love you.  You give them money to make money from," Don told him.  He sat down to help count too.  Danny went to get the money counting machine for them, earning a smile.  "Love you."  He sorted instead while Tony ran the machine and Xander rubberbanded the stacks.

"Where's the stuff from the office, Xander?"  Gibbs gave him a horrified look.  "We had to make him quit playing poker again.  Don made himself very clear and they delivered the rest to the office."

"All but a few people, who still owe me," Xander admitted.  "Oh, that file is in the office on the desk, Horatio."  He went to find it.  Xander went back to sorting.  "Need luggage, Tony?"

"I could use some."  He picked out a few of the bags for himself.  They had wheels on one side, a few shallow zippered compartments on the outside and one large one inside.  "Boss?"

"I've got plenty in that size."  He was keeping track of the counted and sorted money, putting it into bags.  "How much more is coming later on?" he asked when they paused to rub sore hands.

"Over eighty thousand more."

"From how many sources?" Horatio asked.

"Six."

"Hmm.  Only eighty thousand, Xander?" Horatio pressed.

Xander pouted.  "Somewhere around there.  I haven't looked at the debt book in the last week since I paid the one guy I owed a bar tab because of my peanut habit."

"Fu still keeping it?" Don asked dryly.

"Yup.  He hates you though."

"Yay him," Danny said.  "One of us can go look."

"But..."

"No, Xander," Mac said patiently.  "That way they can't suck you in."  He got to work packing another bag, marking down a tally.  "The bank is going to hate us."

"Yeah," Gibbs agreed.  "A lot."  He checked the outer pockets of the bags he was using, tossing over a few rolls of cash and holding up one baggie.

"The person who owed him does that to him," Horatio told him.  "We keep arresting him for it and the judge keeps letting him out."

"It's enough to make you want to turn vigilante," Xander said.

"Should you, the first spanking you got from me will seem pleasant," Horatio assured him, staring him down.

"I know!  It's a bad thing even if it was kinda basically the same thing as hunting."

"Good.  Thank you, Xander."  Xander grinned a sweet grin so Horatio pulled him over to hug.  "Now and then you do act like my son so I treat you like it.  Quit giving Timmy gray hair," he said in his ear.  Xander pouted but nodded.  "Thank you.  Any ice cream?"  Xander went to get them some.  He finished his pile and let Danny add it to the end of his.  They finished it up and figured up the tallies.

"Horatio, you can have a few of the empty bags too."

"Thank you, Xander."  He gave him a kiss on the temple.  "You're very generous."

"Less stuff we have to move," he quipped.  Horatio laughed and nodded that was true.  "Calleigh wanted to try the new sniper rifle and the new handgun so I gave it to her."

"Thank you.  She'll be in a good mood all day tomorrow."  He ate a bite of his ice cream and moaned.  "Freezer burn."

"Sorry, the move," Xander admitted.

"It's fine.  It adds texture to this one.  Did we switch?"

"They were out."  He handed Don and Danny bowls then went to get Gibbs and Mac one, then sat down with his.  Tony got Gibbs' bowl, getting a grin.  Mac gave Horatio his.  Xander shrugged at that but Don kissed him and it was better.  "Now what?"

"Now, we brief them," Mac told him.  "While Danny and Don put you to bed."

"I'm not that young.  Go use the office, guys."  They went to do that.  Xander looked at the bags.  "At least I won't be smooshed in the back."

"Steve's going to have a heart attack when he hears," Don told him.

"I forgot!  I hid it and I forgot."

"How can you forget bags of cash?" Danny demanded.

"It's the same as me forgetting to put on clothes the other morning," Don reminded him.  Danny hung his head, shaking it slightly.  "Another really good reason to quit playing poker.  You're not personally keeping track of who owes you what."  Xander nodded, shifting closer.  Don let him cuddle.  "You're not in trouble," he whispered. "But we do have to watch this, Xander."

"If we put this into the bank, the IRS will know."

Danny gave him a look.  "They'll know anyway.  You're honest."

"Sometimes.  I estimate.  That's what they wanted me to do."

Don nodded.  "Well, now you can estimate again."  He got up to drag the filled bags into a closet, leaving one out for Xander and the ferrets to play in. The jewels.  Well....  There wasn't any way he'd be dealing with those this time.  "Sell. Them."

"Yes, Don."

"Thanks."  He patted him on the head.  "Want a backrub?"  Xander pouted.  "I'll give you sex later.  Right now my hands need more exercise."

"Practice?"

"Backrub," he said, hauling him up and into the bedroom to give him one. Xander didn't mind but he clearly needed to be worn out physically tonight, where Don needed to wear out the hormones.  So he gave Xander a good backrub then got into a tickle fight with him.  It ended after twenty minutes of play fighting and he was on his back begging for mercy within a minute after that.  It served both their purposes.

Danny came in to help wear them out.  Sometimes he wondered how his lovers acted normal with how silly they were.

***

Tony looked around the movie theater supply place, smiling at the single salesman. "He's setting up one at home.  He wants to recreate a pretty nice out of New York City.  We have pictures.  Think you can help him find seats and stuff?"

He nodded, taking the picture to look at.  "We have the updated version of those seats but not that exact model in storage."  He looked at the other picture.  "It's a shame.  That's a beautiful theater.  Being torn down?"

"No, still going strong," Tony said with a smile.  "His lover's boyhood memories."

"Ah."  He handed them back, taking them to show what he had.  Xander paused by one set, stroking over the back.  "Those are from a demolished theater.  They're not in the best shape but they'll hold up to some more wear.  If you're feeling nostalgic they're a good choice.  Or we have the ones with the cup holders."

"Cup holders came after our time," Tony told him.  "They're my age."  That got a nod.  "Xander?"

"These are like the ones we had at home."

"They were a really popular model.  Over fifty percent of all theaters had them."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "How many did you need?"

"Hmm.  If everyone's over...."

"You need twelve.  If you put in ten it should work and someone can cuddle or bring in a comfy chair," Tony told him.  "Or put these in the front row and put a row in the back of the modern ones with foot rests."

Xander looked at him then called Danny.  "I want to go to the movies soon so I'm checking them out.  Would you rather go to an old theater, the one with the seats without cup holders, or would you rather go to one that had footrests and cupholders?"  He smiled.  "You sure?"  He nodded.  "Okay."  He hung up.  "We'll put a few with the footrests in back.  Just in case."  That got a nod from the salesman.  "Ten?"

"Should be more than enough," Tony promised.  They picked out what they wanted from in there.  Including a used screen for the projection system.  It got delivered to the new place with instructions on spacing.  The oldest theaters were a bit farther apart than the modern ones.  They hadn't expected or wanted groping after all.  Xander also picked up a seat table, one that would hold an empty seat down so they could have a flat surface for sodas and things.  Then they went to pick out movies.  Tony called in. "Hey, boss.  Checking in."  He smiled.  "Heading to pick out movies.  Yeah, now.  Why?"  He nodded, taking down an address.  "Thank him for me."  He hung up.  "One of the techs is an older movie buff and he said this place has nearly everything and half of it is on DVD."  Xander beamed and they headed that way, going to shop.  Xander let Tony walk in first and watched him sigh in pleasure.  "I miss having somewhere like this around me.  I can't find a good spot for film noire in DC."  The amused salesgirl pointed.  "Thank you!"  He went to browse for his own amusement while Xander mined monster movies, then sci fi.  "Remember, they like action stuff."  Xander picked up a basket since his arms were full and went back to it. "You do have money on you?"

"I have close to eight hundred left in the car."  He kept going, coming back with three full baskets.  Tony weeded them out and got a few others.  "Girl movies?"

"Now and then even the macho guys want to watch Yul Brennar woo a stubborn woman."  He added two more and patted him on the back.  "Okay, check out."

"That's going to be more than eight hundred, sir," she said.  "Seven bucks a movie."

Xander counted, pouting.  "Take cards?"  She shook her head.  "ATM nearby?"  She pointed across the street so he went to hit it, coming back with that and the stash in the car.  He grinned, paying for everything.  Tony got his and they went to drop them off at the house.  Tony looked up, then pointed. "Practice room."

"Probably a handy thing."  He smiled, walking inside to see the new theater.  The construction crew had done a marvelous job reconstructing things.  He heard Xander swearing and went to find him, finding him staring at the marks on the walls.  "What's that?"

"I don't know."  He found the card for the construction company and called.  "It's Xander Harris.  Yeah, I am.  What happened?"  He winced.  "Is it going to cost more to fix it?"  He nodded.  "You did file a police report?  Yeah, and my house houses two cops.  Yes you do.  You don't have to charge him with that there but we do have to file one for the insurance.  Yes I am."  He hung up and called Don.  "Call the construction guy tomorrow please?  Because one of his guys snapped and went an anti-ferret and gay people graffiti rant.  Yeah.  I am.  Thanks."  He hung up, looking at Tony.  "They were doing so well."

"It'll work out, Xander."

"I shouldn't have to pay for them breaking stuff."

"No, you shouldn't.  What happened to the fridge?"

"The compressor went out one night and it defrosted, ruining a wall."

"Huh?"

Xander shrugged. "I might give him that one."

Tony patted him on the back.  "I'm telling Mac."

"No, I have boyfriends."

"There's special scowls that only Marines know, Xander."  He called Mac anyway. "It's DiNozzo.  No, another construction company incident.  No, not another appliance.  Graffiti binge they're claiming Xander will have to pay to fix.  Yeah, we are.  Anti-ferret too."

"He said he snapped.  I can handle it, Mac."

"Mac said to shut up, he's siccing Stella on them."   He laughed.  "No, I was thinking about a Marine scowl.  Yeah, those looks.  Well, the only ones I know who can do it are Marines."  Mac laughed and promised Stella would be there tomorrow since it was her day off.  "Thanks, Mac."  He hung up.  "She's got a day off tomorrow.  You can take her to the spa afterward."  He walked him out after hiding the new movies in the projection booth.  "So much easier than the old reel systems."  They closed up the house and turned on the security system then went back to the other one.  "It is looking good though."

"It is," Xander agreed, smiling at him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  When you go to get new ones, bring more money."  Xander laughed and nodded.  They went back to the house, finding Mac there.  "Good news?"

"Stella went to take pictures and look at the damage from the refrigerator."  He patted Xander on the head.  "The insurance company won't be pleased."

"I might give them the fridge, Mac, but not the graffiti."

"You shouldn't give them either.  The fridge was working just fine a week ago," Danny reminded him.  "How long will this hold it up?"

"If they're being that bitchy, I'm hiring Eric's dad," Xander said, sitting down to pet to the dogs.  Stella called him.  "What's up?"   He smiled.  "Just tonight.  Yup.  That's why.  Seats are coming.  What else is there?"  He laughed.  "Sure.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "The head contractor is there to talk to her man-to-man."  Mac laughed.  That meant Stella was going to go shrew on him in a few minutes.  "She found the surprise and thought it was cute."

"I think it's a good idea too," Mac promised with a wink.  He took Tony back to tell him what they had found while he was helping Xander.  Tony found a link that was driving both of them nuts.  "Hey, Xander, who's Vito?"

"Sonny's bodyguard and cousin Vito?" Danny called.

"Yup," Xander called.  "Unless he's dating him too.  He swears up and down that he's not gay though."

"Thank you, we needed that connection," Mac said, going back to the office, making Tony laugh.  "He'd know."

"That's an amazing family."

"I'm proud to be part of it," Mac said.  Don came in and gave him a hug then left.  "Go hug Xander, mushy.  He needs it."  Xander pulled Don down into his lap to cuddle with the dogs.  Tony smiled and Mac shrugged. "It's good for them."  They got into the paperwork details.

New Nests.

Xander finished his last table and carried it out to the SUV, taking it to the house to put into place.  Then he settled in to fuss things into place.  He smiled at his babies in their new kingdom.  It was ten cages spanning one wall, barely edging around a corner, and had a great play area in the center plus their old and new hiding spots and favorite toys.  Even another few litter boxes.  They were still busy checking things out.  Xander placed the last thing down and went to look at the practice area.  It was perfectly sized.  The windows were on 'mute' at the moment.  It was well constructed.  The trees still shielded it so they didn't have to worry too much about storms.  His insurance guy had liked them a lot since they were energy efficient and practical.  Plus rated up to a category three hurricane.  He went to check everything else out, finding the movies shelved and one in the player.  He smiled at that.

Then he went to get groceries and the dogs.  Hubert was still on his perch in the window.  He checked his storage area, finding everything up, as he had intended.  He relocked it and paid for the next six months then went to get groceries.  It was a nice day.  Their place had a sale going on things he liked.  It was a good day to shop.  Even though he had forgotten cash so he had to use his credit card.  The first had been canceled by Steve and he had forgotten to take it out.  The next one went through fine.  He'd have to call him later.  He brought the food back, settling it into the proper spots.  Then he went to call the extended family over, letting them see and decide if they wanted to have a picnic.  The hottub was working and the deck fixed.  He had done that too.  He had forgotten how happy building made him but he could go back to it now and then.  Other people needed bookshelves.  Maybe he'd even flea market them.  Horatio and Speed were the first to show up.

"Nice job with the top part," Speed said.  He went up to look, smiling at the larger practice area with sword storage.  Including the missing sword no one had been able to find.  He came back down, enjoying the carpet in the halls.  Then down to the bottom floor.  "They shifted the bed?" he teased.

"Me and two of the guys I paid fifty bucks to," Xander admitted. "Come see the new bathroom?"  He showed it off, getting noises of appreciation for the joined, yet still separate tub and shower.  "No more morning bumping and whining."

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it," Horatio said, going to look at the office.  It was bigger and the new desk was an interesting item.  It was in a 'z' shape. The 'arms' were supported by recessed shelves.  The top was smooth and very well done around the seams.  They had two comfortable desk chairs in each 'elbow' and it looked good enough to lay things out on.  "Where did you get the desk?" Horatio called.

Xander leaned in.  "A small specialty shop."

"Called his storage area," Speed said dryly.  "He made a lot of the tables too, H."

Horatio gave Xander a hug.  "Good job, Xander."  Xander preened and beamed at him.  "What's in the rest of the dining room?"  Xander opened the sliding doors, making him stare and smile.  "This is perfect."  He walked down to sit in a seat, smiling at the old things.  There were a few new ones in the back but these...these were just right.  He smiled at the popcorn stash and microwave.  It also had things for nachos, making sodas or floats.  A small fridge held juices and a few beers.  Plus a few hot pockets in the small freezer.  He went to look at the movie collection, smiling at it.  "This is wonderful, Xander."  He walked out, patting him on the back.  "You and Tony did a great job with that."  He went to check out the practice area, then came down smiling.  Their room was the same except for the carpet.  That was a nice touch.  He looked in the basement, it was fine.  The other house was fine too.  He came back to sit on the new couch, nearly sinking into the comfortable thing.  It was a bit squishy but if you were tired it invited a nap or cuddling.  He pulled Speed down next to him, finding the handle for the recliner.  He tipped it back and pulled him closer.  Speed grinned at the new, large, plasma tv.  The dragon snorfled from his perch.  Horatio looked over.  "Comfortable too?"  The dragon swished his tail and went back to laying in the sun.

Ryan and Eric walked in.  "I love this," Eric said, running a hand over the heavy tapestry curtains.  "That'll last for a good, long time."  He went to look around, smiling at the practice area.  Wolfe was already making himself at home by laying on the floor.  "What's with the windows?"

"Switch on the wall."  Eric played with it, leaving the windows dimmed since the sun was coming in three of the windows.  Ryan got up and checked the closets.  "Adam's missing sword.  Must've been in the old closet under all the bags of money."  They walked downstairs again, Ryan smiling at his throw rugs.  Then down to the living room to sink into the new couch too.  He looked at the ferret's cage.  "You weren't kidding.  That's a kingdom."

Horatio looked then smiled.  "Yours are spoiled, Xander.  Beauty still wants out."

Xander looked over.  "What's wrong?"  He got her head unstuck and bent them back into place, watching as she scurried off to get a drink.  He found the little sign he had made and put it over that spot.  "There, Ferretopia is in business."  He went back to the couch and sat down, smiling.  "Did you see the new bathroom?"  They went to see, making Eric laugh.  "They complain when they bump into each other."

"They won't now," Eric assured him.  He came out and sank down into the couch too.  He got up as a test, just in case it was a sucking-in couch then flopped back down and put his feet up.  "More than enough room for all of us."

"And it cleans with a washcloth," Xander said proudly.

"It'll feel nice against bare skin too," Speed said, running a hand over it.  They waved as Frank and Alexx walked in, followed by Adam walking in Ray.  "I really like the staircase half-shell that trails off into the iron work in front of the door, Xander."

"Thank you.  He suggested it but I went with the maple and the iron work.  It's a bit of a mix of styles but I think it goes very well together."

"It does," Adam agreed, sitting down.  Ray pouted.  "I saw it earlier when I helped him bring over the last of the nicknacks.  Go look."  He went to look around.  "Thank you for finding my lost sword."

"Not a problem."

"Under the bags of money?" Ryan teased.  Xander nodded.  "Where are they now?"

"Bank," Speed said.  "We escorted Don to the bank four days ago, Wolfe.  You were off that day."

"I would've come in.  The tellers like me."

"They like me plenty too," Xander said dryly.  "The rest is in the new office safe.  I had that one expanded."

Ryan went to look in there.  "I love this desk."  Eric came to look too, nodding.  He came out to look at him.  "Who built that?"  Speed pointed at Xander when he tried to lie and say it was a professional.  "The ones out here too?"  Speed nodded and pointed again.  "Hmm.  I need some new bookcases.  Want to build some for the holidays for me?"

Xander beamed.  "Really?"

"Really."  Xander bounced over to give him a cuddle.  Ryan felt...warm but it was a comforting cuddle.  "I could use a few to replace the cheap ones.  Not the one Eric's father built but the others."

"I might be able to match them."  Ryan smiled and nuzzled his throat, making Xander moan.  "I'm sweaty."

"So?"

"Down, puppy," Eric taunted, heading back to the couch.  "The new countertop is nice too, Xander.  Easy spot to work on."

"It is," Tim agreed.  Don pulled up on his bike and Xander bounced out to cover his eyes before leading him inside.

"What's the new space at the top?" he asked.

"You can look in a minute."  He uncovered his face, watching the happy look.  "See, it does match."

"It does.  You did a great job decorating, Xander."  He gave him a hug.  "I like all the different little things."  He walked over to look at the four ottomans with a wooden table in the center.  The ottomans also opened up.  Then he went to check the office, gasping in awe.  "I love the new desk and how yours is placed."

"Thank you," he said proudly.  He watched Don run a hand over it.

"Before he lies about some small shop doing it, he built it and most of the new bookcases and tables," Speed called from the living room.  "Check your bedroom."

Don walked that way, pulling on Xander's hand to walk with him.  They looked and he moaned at the new bathroom.  "Thank you.  *That* fixed a problem."  He gave him another kiss then walked him upstairs to look at the carpet, which went very well.  Then up to the third floor, smiling at the new practice area.  "Much bigger.  Now we can really fight without worrying about the walls."

"And there's a family surprise but only Horatio's seen it so far."  He walked him back down, bouncing out to do the same for Danny.  "I think I got everything from the old house.  We can go check tomorrow.  The dogs are lounging on their special chairs in the sun."   Don gave him a confused look so he pointed at where the curtains were billowed out.  "There's a few small benches there for them and Hubert to lounge on."

"Cool.  I'm sure they love it."  He checked.  Both dogs looked at him and wagged their tails, then put their heads back down.  "Sure, you guys nap in the sun."  He put down the curtain and walked over, running a hand over the couch.  "That feels good.  Not leather either."

"It's washable microfiber," Eric told him.

"It'll feel good when we cuddle too," Ryan told him.

Don grinned. "It definitely will."  He sat down, checking his seat.  He checked the one next to him and shifted, putting up his feet.  "I love my man.  He's brilliant."  He saw the tv.  "Is that going to be big enough?"

"Maybe not," Horatio admitted.  He heard Danny moan from the bedroom.  "I think he likes the bathroom too."  They came out and went up the stairs, making him smile.  Then they came back down.  "Xander, did you want to unveil the family present?"

"Yup."  He hauled everyone up.  "Someone listen for the pizza guy."  Frank nodded he would.  He led them into the office, letting those who wanted to admire the desk.

"That's a good work area," Danny decided.  "Useful.  Got good lights.  Even a magnifying one," he said with a smile.  Don waved a hand a bit.  "Good job."  He saw the new door and went to open it, walking inside and moaning.  "Don!"  He walked in and grinned like a little boy.  He looked at the new seats.  Only three of those.  Then at the older seats, walking down to sit in one.  "Oh, yeah.  Just right."

"Tony helped me find the place that had them used," Xander said proudly.  Don pounced for a cuddle.  "I love you."

"I love you too.  I wondered why you were thinking about movies.  Do we have any?"  Xander led him into the projection room, finding that Xander had not only bought out an older movie store he had bought out a newer one too.  He checked the player, sniffling.  It was his favorite movie, one he and Danny liked to watch together whenever it was on tv.  "I love you."  He cuddled him again.  "You're so getting pounced later," he said in his ear.  Xander gave him a squeeze.  Frank went to get the pizzas.  Then he came for Xander's wallet.  "I prepaid."  He walked out.  "They declined it?"

"Yes, sir.  Don't know why.  We haven't had problems with it in the past."

"I'm going to beat someone.  That's why."  He handed him a hundred.  "Keep it."  That got a nod and a grin, letting the young guy leave.  He called Steve on his way to the kitchen.  "What's wrong with my cards this time?  The Visa just declined, Steve.  I thought you were coming down to beat him.  No, I haven't used it in a month.  Furniture shopping.  Poker money.  Please.  Sure.  We just renovated the house."  He hung up.  "Steve's going to come down after all.  He verbally spanked the guy but now he's bringing his sword."  He walked things into the kitchen, then walked back into the theater.  "There's popcorn and sodas, plus a few beers," he admitted.  "Some stuff to make nachos too."  He went to turn on the movie, making everyone jump because he had a THX sound system installed too.  He came out to snuggle into Don's free side, getting one arm around his shoulders.  "Happy memories?" he asked quietly.

"A lot of happy memories," he agreed.  "I got my first kiss in a theater."  He kissed him.  "You taste better than she ever could."  He snuggled him while his movie came on.  "How are we doing the remote things?"

"Tony had the sound system guy wire a sensor up here."  He pointed at the remote on the floor in front of the screen.  Don grinned and settled in to watch, stroking over Xander's hair for now.

Frank heard someone else come in and walked out.  "Hey," he told the kid.  "What's up?"

"I came to add one last finishing touch to the work," he told him, holding up something.  "We forgot to put up a piece of trim."

"Where does that go?"

"The practice room."  Frank walked him up there, watching him install it.  It had been missing.  The guy kept giving him odd looks.  "You don't trust us?"

"Not with Xander in the house, no.  We don't trust anyone around him."

"Oh."  He nodded, walking back down once it was in place.  The nice detective saw him leave then went back to the theater area.  The door was even shielded on the office side so no light could get in.  He snuck back with his new can of spray paint.

Frank grabbed him by the collar and hauled him off.  A few of the patrol guys came at his call so he handed him over.  "Broke in to tag Harris' house."

"Ferrets are wrong!  So are gay men!" he complained.

"This would be the second one," Frank told the officers.  "Harris is pressing charges.  If he doesn't, Flack and Messer definitely will."  The officers nodded and took him, still ranting about ferrets and gay men, off.   Frank smiled at Mac and Stella, plus Sheldon.  "We're in the family's surprise but come on in."  They parked and went in to look around, Mac smiling at the practice area, running a hand over the walls.

"So that's why we have carpet downstairs," Stella joked.   The new living room and bathroom got appreciative looks.  The office got the table stroked then they went to the theater too.

"This is great," Mac said, getting a few looks.  "Sorry."  They snuck down to their seats and settled in, cuddling up together.  He pointed after a nudge, getting a grin from Stella.  A snack center.  It probably even had the boxes of candy.  He wrapped an arm around her and they settled in to watch the movie with the rest of the family.   Sheldon snuck in a minute later and settled into his seat too.

After the movie they went to eat cold pizza in the living room, settling in.  Xander had the news on and Don was tipping his head. "Xander, you know how we all complained the last tv was too small?"  Xander nodded.  "Too small.  I'm spoiled to say it but too small."

"No, you're right.  I went with the medium size and I should've went with the large.  I'll get a bigger one tomorrow."

Don kissed him.  "Thanks."  He settled into his side, letting him watch the news.  "Hmm.  Hope the poker buddies we arrested don't blame you."

"They can't.  I didn't have anything on them.  They weren't part of my part of the poker circle.  Two of them refused to play with me because I'm gay."  He ate another bite of dinner.  "By the way, the Christmas tree is going over in the fairly empty corner."

"That'll work," Don agreed.  He nuzzled him again, getting a grin.  Pulling Xander into his lap was as easy as ever and they both agreed it was a need.

Danny noticed Ryan was shifting.  "You can pounce him tomorrow.  We'll both be exhausted."  Horatio and Don laughed at that.  "Xander, that good with you?  You wear Ryan out tomorrow so we're not tired all week?"

"Sure," he said absently, nibbling on Don's throat.  Then he bit, hard.  "I saw you without your vest on."

"Didn't have it in the car.  It's in my desk.  I didn't think I'd need it."

"Hmm.  Better not happen again."

"Yes, dear."  He let Xander do whatever he wanted.  He was happy.  He was content.  Xander wouldn't have to go out as often.  He hoped.  Xander had fixed all the annoying things they hadn't liked about the house.  Plus he had given them a great new bathroom and a wonderful family treat.  He'd bear babies for Xander at the moment if it was possible.  Xander gave him a wicked look.  Don stood up and carried Xander off to the bedroom to have him.  The family understood these needs.  And it was a need to reward Xander for the good work.

***

Horatio put down the house warming invitation onto the break room table.  A few others looked at it while he got coffee and they got their morning waters, juices, coffees, whatevers.  Speed came in to get his own soda.  "I was thinking," Speed said.  Horatio hummed quietly.  "We could paint the bedroom."

"Having house envy?" he teased.

"I don't need that much room.  You know that.  Our walls are still white."  He sipped his Mountain Dew.  "Our bedspread is light tan.  Which I don't mind.  Our carpet is industrial."

"It was easy to care for," Horatio reminded him.

"True, and I love that about it, but it's still charcoal gray.  Want to change some things?  Paint maybe?  Maybe a new rug?"

Horatio considered it.  "I could like that," he decided.   "Even if we would have to sleep in the guest room for a few days because of the paint stink."  Stetler walked in.  "Morning, Rick."  He sipped his coffee.

He glanced at the invitation then at them.  "Didn't he already have a housewarming party?"

"They did some major renovation work," Speed told him.  "It came out great."  Horatio nodded.  "Hell I want to paint here."  Horatio snickered.  "I know you do."

"Yes, I do.  And take out some of the glass because it'll end up being dangerous."  He smiled at Speed.  "Still not my decision."

"Good point."  He looked at Frank.  "Why did you leave?"

"The guy who tagged the house the first time came back to install a piece of trim work and then snuck back in to spray more anti-ferret messages.  I had patrol take him."

"He was arraigned and given bail this morning," Horatio told him.  "With a restraining order against going near the house."

"Good.  How can you be anti-ferret?"

"Xander said his ex-girlfriend had a bunny phobia," Speed reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."  He nodded.  "I forgot about her.  It'd be strange to see him with a woman anyway."

"He had women?" Stetler snorted.  "And he switched."

"His last one was a nympho and yeah, he switched," Speed said smugly.  "We saw his last one recently.  She's still complaining no one could wear her out like Xander."  Horatio gave him a look.  "On that scene?  Her.  That was Anya."

Oh damn.  That could be a problem.  "Did you let the boys know?"

"I called Xander.  They had lunch."  He finished his soda.  "Don't worry, Rick, he doesn't expect everyone will want to come."  He looked at Frank.  "Did you get the urge to paint too?"

"Yes.  My wife was really happy because she's wanted to paint now for two years.  We're saving up to hire someone."  Horatio smiled.  "You two?"

"Perhaps a bedroom redo," Horatio told him.  "We just moved the living room around to fit the bigger ferret setup."

"I saw the sign on the cage.  Ferretopia?"

"Well, he does call it their kingdom," Speed said dryly.  Stetler walked out moaning, shaking his head.  "Think ours would like to come play in the ferret kingdom?"

"I think we can arrange that."  He smiled at him.  "Behave."

"I try so hard," he quipped as he walked off, nearly strutting.  Horatio was standing funny this morning so he was The Man.

Frank gave him a look.  "Good was it?" he teased.

Horatio blushed a bit and nodded.  "It's always good, Frank."  He walked off, going up to his office.  His boss was laying in lurk.  "Yes, sir?"

"Ferretopia?"

"Xander got a new cage setup for his ferrets.  It takes up a whole wall.  He calls it their ferret kingdom and had a sign made."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "He's been some interesting places.  Including a warehouse recently."

"He was building the desk and some of the tables and bookshelves, sir."

"Oh.  Nothing going on?"

"Xander doesn't use drugs."

"One of his poker buddies said he did."

"No.  One of his poker buddies was mistaken.  Xander doesn't use drugs.  He admitted he dabbled once when he was on his first road trip and he was having to strip to get his car fixed so he could get back home.  He also said the cocaine made him stay hyper for three days from his only taste."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "You sure?"

"I'm fairly certain, yes, sir.  Xander doesn't need drugs.  If he wants to feel that high all he has to do is let himself start to back up again."  He sipped his coffee then put his mug down on his desk, sitting in his chair.  "Which poker buddy said that?"

"Hallings."

"Hmm.  Well, I'm sure he's going to have a bit of trouble.  I'll let Xander know he said that.  Thank you, sir."

"The theater equipment?"

"He made one room into a small theater, like we had as kids," he said with a smile.

"Good.  Less time for him to be out."

"Probably not totally but it does give him something new to shop for."  His boss walked out shaking his head.  He called Xander.  "Xander, which poker playing person is Hallings?"  He smiled.  "Because somehow he told my boss you've been using drugs."  He listened to him splutter.  "Ruin him through us, Xander.  Ah, he's one of the legit ones.  Sure, you do that.  Make sure Steve's fixed things for you first, Xander."  He hung up and got comfortable, looking at what was laying on his desk.   He smiled at the envelope, opening it to see what Speed had left him.  Instead, he found a death threat.  He sighed and called Eric, handing it to him.  "Deal with that."

He read it then snickered. "Sure, H."  He went to bag it, handing it to Stetler when he found him going for the coffee he had forgotten earlier.  "You want him first or me?"  He kept walking.  He knew just who it was.  He walked into the detective's area and hauled one guy up, getting a horrified look. "Death threat?"  He stuttered.  "We're going to process it.  You know that."

"Not me!" he said frantically.  "I can't stand you guys but it wasn't me!  It was Bert!"  Bert got up and tried to run but Ray tripped him and handed him over.

"Thanks," Eric said, looking at that guy.  "Transfer since you can't work with us."  He walked Bert off, slinging him into an interrogation room.  "Morning."  The man backed away when Stetler walked in rereading the note, with coffee in hand.  "The other guy help you?"  He shook his head quickly.  "You sure?"

"You're corrupting all of us!" he shouted.  "The people think we're all slutty little toys like *you*!"

"I'm not GHS," Eric said dryly.  "Neither's Wolfe.  We don't have that problem."

"You sure?" Stetler asked him.  "You are a slut."

"Not really.   Only had the same three people in the last few months, Stetler."

"Is that why Wolfe's been making quiet complaints about lack of sex?" he shot back.

"Yeah.  Too much work.  Get our budget raised so we don't have so much overtime.  Then he'll quit complaining about lack of sex."  He looked at the detective again.  "Who else do you think is?"

"I know Kowalski is a keeper.  You guys live some freakish bondage lifestyle!" the detective accused.

Ray walked in at Eric's look.  "What?"

"You live a freakish bondage lifestyle as a keeper?"

"Hell no!  And who said I'm the keeper in my 'ship?  Adam does all the practical shit for me."  The detective stared at him, looking horrified.  "Yeah, no bondage unless Xander's playing at it for the boys or they tie him down to keep him from bouncing in bed.  Anything else you wanna accuse us of?"

"You've warped good detectives, like Flack, into thinking this is normal."

"Hey, Don?" Ray called.  He strolled in.  "He thinks we're warping you to think GHS is normal?"

"I'm a level five, why wouldn't it be normal to me?"  The detective burst out crying.  "Who did he think was?"

"I'm a freaky keeper.  You're warped.  He thought Delko was one."

"Hmm.  Not even close."  He walked off shaking his head. Then he came back.  "For the record, Danny's the freak in the family."  Then he left again.

"More than I ever needed to know," Stetler said, taking another drink of his coffee.  "Who else did you get wrong?"

"Tripp?"

"Friend and protector of the family group," Eric said patiently.

"Horatio?"

"In a committed relationship."

"But he is!  He's been at the conventions for years!"

"Hmm.  Yeah, one of them in his 'ship is," Ray agreed.  Stetler gave him an amused look. "What?"

"*One*?  By the way, got the directory."

"How?"

"Had a friend hack the site.  You guys need better security on it."

"We're doing good when we can remember passwords.  Xander can barely remember the one to his home alarm."

"You can up security without creating more work," he told him.  "Get one of the Feds who're helping you guys to do that.  My friend isn't a computer genius.  He barely can figure out how to plug in the number generator he found online."  Ray moaned.  "Took him three hours.  Though the new 'for officers' section was helpful.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at the guy.  "And?"

He moaned.  "Messer's not?"

"Nope."

"Wolfe's not?"

"Nope," Eric said.  "Taken by a succubus recently and I'm not sure we cleared all his taint either.  He was damn needy last night."  He shrugged it off.  "Anyone else you want to guess about before you go to prison for the death threat?"

"No," he said weakly.   Stetler took him and his coffee back to his office.

Ray went to call someone.  "Hey, it's Ray Kowalski.  Actually, small problem.  Someone hacked our membership lists here in Miami to see if he could.  IAB out of my precinct.  Yeah, him.  The jackass.  That's what he was suggesting so I'm calling you to see if you guys have someone you trust."  He smiled.  "Really?  Think she would?"  He grinned. "That might help.  Yeah, please.  Have her call Adam.  I'm going to call him next.  Thanks, man."  He called home.  "Stetler had someone try the site.  He said the new page was helpful and the security was pitiful since his friend found a random number generator online and hacked the list."  He heard him splutter his morning coffee.  Adam needed a *lot* of coffee to wake up unless it was a problem.  "I called one of the Feds we work with and he knows a few good people in places where we already have friends so one's calling you soon to see what we can do."  He smiled.  "Exactly.  Yeah.  Thanks, Adam.  You're welcome.  I left you cinnamon buns in the oven.  From the tube."  He grinned.  "Icing's in a bowl on the stove."  He hung up and got back to work.  He called a detective he knew.  "There's a spot coming open in homicide."  He grinned.  "One's going to jail for giving Caine a death threat.  Yeah.  Sure, go for it."  He hung up.  "Hey, Frank.  That kid still wants in."

"I'll see what we can do about it," he promised.

"I still can't believe he thought I was the bondage queen," Don said dryly.  "Do I come off like that?"

"It's the leather coat," Frank told him.

"It's for when I ride my bike!"

Frank grinned.  "They wanted to see you in more leather, Flack."

He gave him a look.  "Don't tempt Xander."  Frank snickered at that.  "I have one already.  I look damn hot in it.  He had them custom made so they fit my ass perfectly.  I even have a great t-shirt to go overtop.  Still not the bondage queen in the family."

Ray smirked.  "I'm telling the other one you said it was him."

"Go ahead!  He does it more than I do."

"Guys, getting mental images I don't like again," Frank complained.

"Sorry, Frank," Don said, tossing over some of his candy.  Frank grinned and got back to work.  He smirked at Ray. "Double dare you."

"Ooh, you're so getting it."  He went to find Danny and tell him.  He wanted to see the look on his face when he told him.  Eric already had, which is why he found him ranting in a closed room.  He leaned in.  "You know, Don backed me up on you being the bondage queen in the family.  Don said he's got the leather thing down pat if and when he wants to but you're the family bondage queen.  And he thought Eric was GHS too."  He closed the door and watched him stare then go off on a new rant.  Ray went back to his desk, smiling at the agent waiting on him.  "What?"

"Stetler hacked the site?"

"Yup.  He had a friend do it.  Admitted it in front of Delko and me, plus the detective who sent Caine a death threat."

"Hmm.  Interesting.  Thank you."

"Hell, he's a blight on our asses too," Don said dryly, handing him a piece of candy.  "Because you don't look happy."

"You do.  Renovations done?"

"All done and it's perfect," Don assured him.

"Good."  He walked off to warn Stetler.  Plus to confiscate the list.  It was too dangerous and he didn't have a copy.

"We already got it from him," Speed called when he passed him in the halls.  "Smacked him a few times too."

"Thank you.  When do I get mine?"

"When hell freezes and you quit staring at my boss's ass."  He turned to smirk at him before getting on the elevator.  "Too many people still try him."  He got on and the doors shut.

He groaned, going to threaten him anyway.  Maybe he had a backup copy.

***

Xander looked at his usual helper at Home Depot.  "I'm making bookcases for someone."

"Sure, how high?"  He got him a plan book.

"Five shelf?"  That got a nod and they went to pick out wood.  "I'll deal with the doors later on since I'll need a router."  That got a nod and they went to check him out.  He had it delivered to the same spot then went to check on it.  The guard stopped him.  "Problems?"

"Building more stuff?"

"Some bookcases.  At least until I can put on a small workshop to the house.  I forgot."

"That's all right, Mr. Harris.  We have guys who store classic cars here and come to tinker.  What're you building this time?"

"Bookshelves for a friend."  He grinned.  "They all loved the desk."

"I loved that desk."  He patted him on the back.  "Don't worry about it but get the workshop done soon.  That way you can make stuff for the holidays."

"I have to buy ornaments too."

"They have a great charity ornament sale in a few days.  On Saturday at the convention center."  Xander beamed at that.  "Figured I'd tell you since I've seen you mumbling about trees."

"I didn't put one up last year.  Thank you."  He gave him a brief hug then went to bounce off and work on the measurements for the bookcases Ryan needed.  He called him.  "Pick out what sort of doors you want on your bookshelves."  He hung up and looked at the plans for the doors.  They had a few frames and suggestions.  Ryan walked in a few minutes later, giving him an odd look.  "Do you want glass, metal, wire, lattice?"

"Glass is nice.  There's some great frosted glass at the place I get stuff for Eric's sister when he's busy."  Xander nodded.  "What sort am I getting?"  Xander showed him the plans. "Five shelf are good.  Which wood?"

"The same shade as the one you already have."

"That'll work."  He gave him a cuddle.  "When is it getting here?"

"A few hours."  He looked at him.  "I need to build a workshop."

"Put it behind the garage."

Xander beamed.  "That's a great idea.  Plus there's electric out there already so it won't be that hard to run it."   He gave him another cuddle.

Ryan felt that same warmth as the last time.  "After the wood gets here are you starting today or did you want to go do something?"

"Don said we needed more shoot 'em up movies."

"We can do that."  He grinned.  "Then cuddling at home?"

"Sure," he chirped. "You're a very good cuddle."  Ryan grinned at that.  They helped the guys delivering things bring in the wood then they closed up the storage area and went to look at movies for them.  When they were done Xander took Ryan home to pounce.  Ryan needed more pouncing, Eric was ignoring him again.  And hey, Ryan was an immie too so he could wear him out repeatedly.

Ryan felt that same warmth and soaked in it.  It felt so *good* to him.  The sex was great, as usual, and the cuddling afterward was even better.  This is what he had been missing.  He'd have to come over more often to spare his boys.  He stroked Xander's side, helping him nap.  Hubert came in and gave him an odd look.  "Cuddling the daddy."  The dragon wandered off, going back to his padded leather perch in the sun.  "Your pets are so spoiled," he teased quietly.  Xander hummed in his sleep and wrapped himself around him better.  "Good boy, Xander. You nap."  Xander hummed again and it was good.  Ryan let himself be cuddled, still reveling in the warmth that was flowing into him.  This is what he had been missing with Eric.

***

The next day Danny and Don had lunch together, outside, in the park with no one around.  "Something freaky's going on," Don said.  Danny nodded.  "Xander wasn't too worn out for more than cuddling last night but he was too content to do it?"

"He had Ryan all day."

"Yeah and he was probably good but even eight hours with both of us never wore Xander out like that and eight hours with Wolfe hasn't in the past either.  Since they only had four yesterday...."  Don ate a bite of his sandwich.

"So you think what?" Danny asked.

"I think maybe he's not as detoxed as we think," he admitted.  He drank some of his juice.  Danny nodded, thinking about it.  "I don't think he's doing it on purpose and I don't know why he's not.  I'm worried it'll end up hurting one of them."

Danny thought then nodded slowly.  "Could be an issue but it's damn helpful."  Don gave him a dirty look.  "Though, what it could be doing to him I don't know."  He ate one of Don's chips then drank some of his water.  "How would we know?  I've seen him use the doctored hand sanitizer."

"You guys doctored it?"

"I added holy water.  I want the half-succubus out of the lab too."

"Who?"

"Guess," he said flatly.

"Oh.  No wonder."  He shrugged.  Skanky hos had never been his thing.  "Eric know?"

"Now."

"Good."  He ate a bite of his sandwich and chewed.  "So how?"

"Don't know?  Clubbing?"  Don smirked.  "It'd be good for our boy too.  There's a few clubs he favors.  It's been a while."  He nibbled another chip, getting a swat on the hand.  "Fine."  He dug into his own lunch, eating fast.  "Tonight?"

"Tonight's good."  Don finished up too and tossed their trash into a nearby can.  He looked at him.  "Then what?"

"Then?"  He shrugged.  "We do some research if we find out it's true."

"Hmm.  Do we have more than the one book?"

"Don't know.  If not, we know people we can talk to.  And hey, Xander's collection that he keeps hidden."

"Good point.  How're we going to tell?"

"Think we can get the bags to weed them out for us?"

"Like thinking about the blue shirt brings up all the blue shirts?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe."  He shrugged. "We'll try tomorrow?"

"After we have proof."  They got up and went back to work, going to find Ryan.  "Hey.  We're taking Xander out tonight to a club."

"Xander's curled up in his jammies on the couch," Eric said as he walked in to join them.  "He said he feels like crap and he's got the sniffles."

"More of the herbs?" Don asked.  "I remember last time it was that stuff on a blanket."

"Not sure.  All he said was he feels like crap, he's on the couch in his jammies, and he has the sniffles.  Otherwise he would've brought us lunch."  He shrugged.

"Tomorrow night?" Ryan suggested.

"Sure," Don agreed, grinning at him.  That might work even better for their plans.  He gave him a punch to the shoulder.  "You okay?  You look tired."

"I'm a bit tired but not much."  He shrugged.  "Didn't sleep last night.  Too many nightmares."  He went back to work.  "Let me know where we're going."

"Xander's got a few places he considers safer.  We'll hit them."

"We might even talk leather boy there into the pants he bought him," Danny teased.

"Xander said they made him look hot," Eric teased.

"Everything, even my old flannel jammies, make me look hot, Delko.  You wish you were this hot."  Eric laughed and punched him on the arm.  "Better get back to work before the boss decides I'm having too much fun.  Anything on my case yet?"  Eric and Ryan both handed over folders.  "Thanks, guys.  Love you lots."  He walked off reading.  Hey, it gave him a good suspect.  He waved at his boss, sitting down to go through his notes to find which one it narrowed it down to.  Don did something sweet, calling Xander's favorite chinese place to bring Xander some soup.  His boy needed soup if he felt miserable.

***

Xander smiled at the delivery boy.  "Hey.  I ordered?"

"Don ordered you soup.  Said you feel miserable."

Xander nodded.  "I do."  He took it and found his wallet but the kid waved him off.  "Thanks, Paul."

"Welcome, Xander.  Fu said to come see him?"

"Do I have more debts?"

"No, you have three pouting people who can't pay you through the PD or they'll be under arrest.  Fu doesn't want to courier money anymore.  Oh, one has someone they want you to meet too.  Someone Middle Eastern that's into guns too."

Xander nodded.  "Not today or tomorrow probably.  Saturday?  Ray Junior's off and we were going to go shopping for his Christmas presents then.  We'll stop in for a late lunch."

"Sure, that'll work.  Thanks, Xander.  Feel better."  He walked off, calling his boss to tell him that.  "Xander does feel miserable but he said he and Ray Junior were going to be Christmas shopping on Saturday so he'd be in for a late lunch.  Yeah, sniffly and miserable looking.  I don't know.  I saw a new counter in the kitchen.  No, he nearly sneezed on me, Fu.  Yeah, he said that'd be fine.  Thanks."  He hung up and went back to the office.  He didn't like taking tips from sick people.  He might get sick from the germs on the money.

***

Xander pulled Don down to cuddle him when he came in.  "I love you."

"You're still sick?"  Xander nodded, resting against his side. "Why are you still sick?"

"Don't know."  He wiggled until Don put an arm around his shoulder.  "Saturday Ray and I are going to do his Christmas shopping.  We'll be picking up the last of the poker debts."

"Uh-huh.  We can go."

Xander looked at him.  "I'm not letting you bust them."

"Fine."  He gave him a squeeze.  "Any spots or anything?"

"I've had chicken pox.  This isn't chicken pox.  This is my head's going to explode."

"Did you open anything funny?" Danny asked as he came in.  Xander looked confused.  "Right before you got sick, did you open anything, get some herbs or powder on you?"

Xander frowned, thinking back.  "Yeah.  There was powder."  He pointed.  "In there.  On my desk."

Danny covered his mouth and went to look.  He came out dialing.  "Horatio, someone sent Xander an envelope with greenish white powder and he's been sniffly all day.  Truly miserable looking.  Fever, Don?"  Don tested then nodded.  "Yeah, fever too.  Please.  Get Adam here, maybe he can identify it since Xander ... well, his cheeks and throat look a bit swollen but he said no spots.  Please.  Office."  He hung up.  "Looks like someone's really pissed at you.  Who sent it?"

"One of the General's sons."  He shrugged.  "I'll be fine soon."

"Did you die too?" Don asked quietly.

"No.  I think I passed out but no. The soup made me feel better."  Tires came to a screeching halt in the driveway.  "Spots are out."

"Dogs!" Danny yelled.  They came running in.  "On the couch, sit with the daddy."  Horatio came in wearing a containment suit.  "Might be a good idea, boss.  We'd have to fuss if we lost you."

Horatio walked in there with an air quality meter.  He scooped the powder up and took everything it was on as well.  He looked at them, mentally groaning.  Once it was bagged then sealed in a container he came back out.  "Let's set up a safe vent, Danny," he ordered.  Danny nodded, going to do that from a window.  He closed the door again and unsealed.  "Xander, the evidence it was sitting on top of?"

"The guys who's been handling stuff for me?"  Horatio nodded.  "Steve wanted to talk to you about it.  I found that."

"Good boy."  He walked out, heading to the hummer to call that incident in.  "This is Lieutenant Caine.  I need Hazmat at the Harris Household in ...  Yes, that one.  Someone sent him suspicious white powder.  I do have it in a containment system.  Thank you."  He hung up his phone and waited, nodding Danny was doing it right.  Adam came in and went running.  "I need to know what it is!"

"Mumps!" Adam called a minute later.  He came out.  "With his healing it'll take him about the rest of the night to finish healing."  That got a nod.  "We cannot let him be examined.  He's clearly gotten it."

"Don and Danny?"

"If it's contagious at this point, we all have it."  Horatio nodded.  "Safe venting?"

"So we can take out any infected air."  A few cruisers and a Hazmat truck pulled in.  He noticed Adam stiffening and got a point at his look.  He walked over to one.  "Mr. Harris...."

The guy pulled him aside.  "I know you know," he hissed.

"Xander has it."

"We'll cover it."  He took the container.  "To destroy?"

"No.  We need the evidence in there.  Xander found evidence of wrongdoing by his local accountant and it was on top of that.  He said it came from one of the General's sons.  Adam said it's mumps."

"Okay.  We'll clean the papers as best we can and seal them permanently.  They can be destroyed after the hearing."

"Double bag them then seal them in an evidence bag," Horatio told him. That got a nod.  "That's all I could find, Danny's doing the venting."

"Guys, help CSI Messer."  They went to do that.  "Let's go look."  He put on his own containment suit and they went inside.  The office was hazy.  "He kept it locked up?"

"I don't think he had a reason to once he started to feel sick."  They came out.  "Xander, who else have you had contact with?"

"Paul from Fu's.  Don sent me soup."

"I didn't think it'd be this, Horatio."

"I know, Don.  Don't worry about it.  Anyone else?  The mailman?  Anyone?"

"The dogs.  Hubert.  Ooh, baby dragon!"  He came walking over.  "He was sneezing too."

"We'll look him over," the other immie said.  "I know you know, young man."  Xander and Don both nodded.  "All right.  Stay in here.  We're going to quarantine the house until we're *sure* you're okay.  That'll probably be tomorrow."  That got another nod.  "If your boys catch it from you it'll be a few days."

"Okay.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He left, going to check the office again.  Danny nodded so he opened a window, letting the air purifiier and scrubber work.  Then they closed the office door again.  He and Horatio walked out together.  "You went in wearing the suit?"

"Yes.  I put it on outside the hummer."

"Why do you carry one of those and you can't remember your vest?" Alexx demanded as she walked over.  "Are they okay?"

"Mr.  Harris said he had a cold before it was opened, ma'am.  We're still going to seal the house for tonight."  She nodded.  "Possibly most of tomorrow as well."

"I saw them do it, son.  I removed Xander's brain tumor too."  He winced.  "Ah, you heard," she said dryly.

"Yes, ma'am.  Especially about the first one.  Tomorrow.  We'll make sure.  We'll need you to check a few others."  She nodded, following him.  That was an ME's job.  "Horatio, go home."

"I can do that."  He waved at Adam.  "You'll have to stay."

"That's fine. There's food.  Do get the little bastard?"

"I have plans for that now."  He got into his hummer, going to brief his boss, who was pacing because news crews were gathering.  He walked in.  "Sir."

"Horatio."  He sighed in relief.  "What was it?"

"We think mumps.  Xander had a cold earlier so we're keeping the family quarantined until we can make sure."

"Good.  Is however he heals faster, like Wolfe does, working?"  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "Horatio, I saw him two days after his eye.  There wasn't even a bruise."

"Yes.  It is."

"Mumps?"  Horatio nodded.  "Do we know who?"

"He said one of the General's sons did it."

"Diplomatic immunity."

"Not from this there's not.  This isn't a Miami case."

That got a nod.  "Good point.  Handle it.  What do I tell them?"

"It's in testing.  The person who it got sent to is in quarantine and everyone he came into contact with since opening it will be found and talked to by the ME's office and an officer.  Don sent him soup from Fu's."

"That's not that hard to contain.  Thank you."

"Welcome, sir.  Also, we can't destroy what it was sitting on.  The accountant he uses is apparently skimming money."

"Interesting."

"He's also canceled off Xander's credit cards on him without reason or warning."

"Even better.  My wife uses him."

"Steve Ellison is coming down personally this weekend to start going over his books, sir.  We're expecting an arrest to be made.  The powder had spilled on top of some of what Xander had found.  It'll be sealed."

"Good.  Go for it."  Horatio left, heading to find the people who Alexx needed to see.  The Chief of Police straightened himself out, grabbed his formal jacket and headed outside to the press.  "Let me make a statement now so people do not have to worry.  Yes, there was a suspicious powder sent to a wealthy resident.  Yes we do know by who.  We believe the powder was a form of mumps."  The press moved closer.  "The owner is not believed to be contagious but he is under quarantine anyway.  He had a cold earlier so we're not taking any chances.  They're quarantined in there with a doctor or with one on-call I'm sure.  I do know that at least one of the people in there is a police offer.  Hazmat has the powder and all the evidence for it.  The lab is setting up a containment area right now to test the evidence we have to verify who sent it to him.  The ME's department, along with the Health Department are going to be tracking down everyone that might've come in contact with the person in question.  So far we think there was a single delivery driver and whoever he works with.  It is not a mass epidemic.  It will not turn into one.  Even if people came in contact with the delivery driver, it's highly unlikely they'll catch it from him."

"We think it was the mumps?" one reporter asked.  He nodded.  "By what criteria?"

"That's what Lieutenant Caine told me.  I'm assuming he had some way of finding that out.  He's off working on this and you will not bother him until this person is in federal custody.  After all, this sort of incidence isn't just a Miami case, it is a Federal matter.  That is an act of terrorism, so even if the person has immunity, they're in trouble."  The reporters smirked at that.  "I'm sure we'll have the person in custody very shortly.  Again,  I don't want the citizens of Miami to worry.  This was a personal attack, not the start of a mass campaign.  All right?"  They nodded. "Then please go spread that news.  We do not want or need a panic.  So far all we know of is three people coming into contact with the boy."  They nodded and left to bring that back to their stations.  He sighed in relief.

***

Horatio walked into his lab and a pacing Federal agent.  "Mumps.  He said one of the General's sons sent it."

"That's my job."

"Your lab sucks," Ryan told him.  "Hazmat dropped it off.  Eric is in containment in lab three.  He's running it now.  The papers were vacusealed so nothing got out."  He handed it over. "Then I changed out the filter on the vacuseal machine."  That got a nod.  "It was in the containment area as well.  Just in case.  That's double sealed and then into an evidence bag since it is evidence against his accountant.  Who I'm hoping Steve lets me hit first.  Need me for more?"

"Stay away tonight, Ryan."

"I am.  I'm also going to sit on their gate."  That got a nod.  "They need anything?"

"Xander went grocery shopping the other day."  He nodded, heading off.  He led the Fed to the sealed lab.  He tapped on the plastic, getting a finger held up.  Eric came out a few minutes later, desuiting in the airlock the sheets of plastic had created.  He came out with the paper.  "Mumps.  Fast acting, not very potent."  The Fed sighed.  "How many came in contact with Xander?"

"The delivery boy from Fu's.  Don sent him soup.  Hubert was checked over by the Hazmat guys and cleared even though he was sneezing. They'll watch him.  Danny gave them permission to put him into quarantine at the usual vet's since they do have a quarantine area.  They know what he eats so it'll be fine."  That got a nod.  "Anything else?"

"Athlete's foot powder and baby powder."

"Homemade?" the Fed asked.

"The mumps?  Bought.  The other, yeah."  Horatio let him have the paper.  "Who?"

"One of the General's sons."

"Diplomatic immunity," Eric said with a grimace.

"Not with an act of terrorism," the Fed told him.  "Can we prove it?"

Eric called the house.  "How was it delivered?  I'll call the vet's myself, Xander.  How was it delivered?"  He nodded.  "By?"  He wrote down a name.  "He's with...."  He wrote that down too.  "Thank you.  No, keep the others out of it.  This is an act of terrorism and there's Feds involved."  He hung up.  "That boy delivered it.  He's a runner for this gang."  He looked at the Fed.  "Xander said that's who the boy told him it was from.  You've got hours if some of his poker buddies hear."

He nodded, going to find the boy.  He'd have to be checked anyway.  "I'll want PD backup for him."

"Of course," Horatio agreed.  "Get the envelope done?"

"It's running prints now."  He looked in there then smiled, logging in remotely to that computer.  "There you go.  Pretty.  No DNA.  She said it was sealed with water."

"But the fingerprint came from...."

"Under the stamp.  Self sticking."

Horatio smiled and patted him on the shoulder.  "Make sure it's safe, get it back to Hazmat for destruction."  He walked out, going to help on the raids.  Speed handed him his vest on his way out the door.  "Thank you."  He followed the instructions from Dispatch for officers needed for a gang arrest.  The Fed gave him an odd look.  "This is my job as well."  He put on his vest and held up a hand.  "They're part of Xander's poker circle."  He walked up to the door, three officers and the Fed covering him.  He knocked.  "The boy who delivered Xander the mumps?"

"He's sick," the guy in the door said.

"We know why," the Fed ordered.  "We'll have to quarantine you all while we see if anyone else got it off him and we need him for questioning about where he got it."  The gang member snorted.

Horatio got into his face.  "*This* was an act of terrorism, young man.  There is nothing keeping him from Gitmo right now."  He shuddered and got out of the way.  "I don't care about you, we care about who did this.  Unless you stand in our way, then you're an accomplice.  Understood?"

"Sure, Red.  The boy?"

"Xander's got a cold, we're waiting to see."  That got a nod.  "Yours?"

"Sick as shit in the back room.  We cleared out everyone when he came back sick."

"We'll need to check anyone he came within the same room of," the Fed told him.  "The ME can do it.  She doesn't have powers to arrest."

The guy nodded.  "Better that than more people with mumps.  What is mumps?"

"One of those diseases you get inoculated for as a child," one of the officers told him.  "Your throat swells, you get a high fever.  He couldn't buy something worse?"

He shrugged. "Who knows.  It was that crazy bitch son of the General's.  Too bad Jorge's back in his native country.  He'd make him a prettier bastard than he did his dad."  He let them inside.  "My boy gets treatment?"

"Of course," the Fed agreed.  "We can talk to him in the hospital."  An ambulance was radioed for and he went with him and Horatio while the other guys rounded up the members for the ME to look at.

Alexx was led over.  "Anyone sick?" she said behind her mask.

"The delivery boy earlier, Doctor Woods," one said respectfully.

"No one else yet?"

"No, ma'am."

"The time difference?"

"About an hour from what we know."

"That's fine.  We should be able to clear most of them then."  She walked in.  "I am ME Woods.  You argue with me about me checking your throat and your temperature and I'm smacking you around like I do my kids when they fuss.  Am I clear?" she noted, moving to the first one.  "Sit!"  He gave her a look.  She glared.  He sat.  She checked him over.  "No fever."  She checked his throat.  "Not swollen yet.  How long has it been since you and the delivery boy were in contact?"

"I was in contact with him all day, ma'am.  That's why I'm here.  You're a mother?"

"I've got two beautiful babies and I've adopted Xander, Ryan, and Speedy like my own."

He smirked. "Spank Xander a lot?"

"I let his boys do that.  Or occasionally Horatio for his weapons.  The boy had real weapons in Miami and didn't tell us.  Horatio got his ass good that day.  So did his boy."

The gang member laughed.  "That kinda sounds like him, yeah."  He let her finish fussing.  "Can you check his shoulder too?" he asked, pointing at one guy.

"It's nothin'!" he complained.

"Oh, shut up!  All boys fuss when they're sick.  They turn back into toddlers.  Even at a young age like yours."  She walked over to look at him then moved his shoulder.  She popped it back in, making him groan and go to his knees.  "Better?"

"Much," he whimpered.

"You need help wrapping that?"

"No.  I can do it.  Thank you."

She smirked at him.  "Polite, I like that, thank you."  He nodded, letting her help him into a seat.  She got the rest of them and removed a bullet too.  One of the officers took the envelope she put it into.  "Now, I still want you in here, no matter what unless there's a fire, all night tonight.  If you get sick, you'll be calling me.  Am I clear?" she noted.  They all nodded, looking down like naughty boys.  "Good.  I'll be back in the morning to clear you for leaving."  She smiled and walked out, taking her case with her.

"Damn," one of the boys said once she was gone.  "She's a fine mother.  Her kids won't be where we are."

The cops smirked.  "She adopted one of the CSI too.  He jumps too.   So does the rest of the lab, boys.  We'll sit someone outside so no one thinks to take advantage of this.  We don't want this to turn into a bloodbath."  That got a nod.  "No ordering out either."

"Sure."  They settled in to hang out for a while.

***

Paul watched the news, turning it up.  "Hey, Fu, get the new dish boy back," he called.  Fu came in and watched the rest of the statement from the Chief of Police with him.  "No wonder he had the sniffles.  Damn glad I didn't take a tip now."

"You sick?"

"No.  Don't feel odd at all.  Thankfully I've been back here.  The new dish boy is gone, they'll probably want him too."  He nodded, going to do that.  "Pity the General's sons.  All three of 'em."  He flipped the channel and went out front when the door opened.  "It was me.  Heard it on the tube.  We've got one guy who needs to come back.  I've stayed in the kitchen and ate since then.  Delivered one drink to the poker room to the dealer in there.  He's still here working on something.  We think he's writing his memoirs."

"Good," Frank agreed.  "Alexx?"

She walked in and smiled.  "Xander said the food here is very good."  She came over to check him out.  "No headache, fever, cheek or throat pain?"

"Only when I ate the pepper by accident."

She smiled.  "Good boy."

"I didn't step in, I don't even take tips from sick people.  Probably a good idea."

"Um-hmm," she agreed.  "Okay, I'll clear you.  We still need you in quarantine all night just in case."

"Do we need to shut down tonight?" Fu asked.  She nodded.  "That's fine.  We weren't doing great business tonight.  Is Xander in quarantine?"

"He is.  His dragon's at the vet's since we weren't sure if it could affect him or not," Frank told him.

"He'll order food for him tomorrow I'm sure."  The new dishwasher walked in and froze.  "Paul delivered to someone with the mumps earlier.  Just a formality."

"I'm not here to arrest," Frank promised.  "I could care less at the moment unless you were part of the to send it to Harris."

"The one with the hair?" the boy asked.  Paul nodded.  "Who'd hurt him?"

"We heard one of the General's sons."

Paul snickered.  "Thank God Jorge's in Nicaragua.  That'd be a mess to clean up."

"He's going to be in Federal detention once we know which one," Frank told him.

"We stay neutral," Fu reminded him.

"Got the name of someone who could tell us for sure?"

The dishwasher held up a hand.  "Perfect Pauline is back in town," he said quietly.  "She's a chemist."

"Hmm," Paul said, nodding back at him.  "She might know.  I have no idea where she is though."

"If it was her, she'd better be running," Frank told him.

"She's got a private plane out by the 'Glades.  That small airport in Opa Locka," Fu told him.  "If it was her, she'd be running.  She hates Caine."

"I'll check," Frank said, calling that in to Horatio.  "It's me.  Got a tip about a chemist who might know.  Perfect Pauline?"  He smirked at the growl of that name.  "Opa Locka has her private plane.  Sure, you do that.  Let us know, Horatio.  Looks like we're clear here."  He hung up.  "We know the boy whoever got to deliver the message is sick," he noted.  "Any others we should check?"

"Their house," Paul said.  "He's that stupid.  It's probably laying around."

"We can do that."  They walked out, going to get the warrant for that house.  The guard that tried to keep them and the Feds out was sick.  Alexx pulled him aside and had him taken immediately.  "Looks like we found the zero point, boys.  Hit it.  Carefully."

"Wear masks and gloves!" Alexx ordered.  They put some on and headed inside.

"We look strange in those," Frank decided, putting on his own.  Horatio pulled up and grabbed his set before heading inside with him.  "Morning.  Her?"

"There.  Local PD there stopped her in the airport.  They're bringing her to the lab now."

"Good.  Think she did it?"

"Oh yes, Frank.  I do."  He smirked behind his mask and they walked through the front door.  "Miami-Dade PD!" he shouted.  They followed an officer's wave, finding one standing guard on the room.  "That's it," he called.  "Get Hazmat!"

"On it's way," one reported.  "Everyone we've come in contact with is sick, sir.  Ambulances are on the way.  General has a ward set up."

"Some of them are going to be prisoners."

"They know, sir.  We have good guards there already.  They've already been taught how to use the hazmat suits."  He nodded upstairs.  "We have sixteen people and another thirty in the back including staff.  We also have other drugs spread around in a few rooms."

"We'll gather it all," Hazmat's head officer said as he walked their way.  "The lab can test it and make a lot of charges."  They nodded and headed to get their primary target after putting up safety seal plastic sheeting around the door.

"A thought hit me a few minutes ago.  Wasn't Xander vaccinated like the rest of us?" Frank asked.

Horatio looked at him. "Both of his parents were drunks, Frank."

"The school?"

"Run by corrupt people.  Ones who didn't care that they had an eighty percent death rate a few years back."

"Damn."

"Basically.  So we'll see.  Adam might not have his either.  I know Xander said he had the chicken pox."

"So his parents screwed that up too.  Okay."  They walked out with the last bunch of prisoners.  "They all stay.  If they're released, they're getting arrested," he told the officer going with them.  That got a nod.  "Good."  He closed the door and they were off.  The Fed had went with the head of the family.  He looked at Horatio.  "Miller time?"

"Once we process the evidence we have here."  He texted the lab.  Eric sent back for him to head home.  He had swing today so he'd do it.  "There's no way you can do that, Eric," he said dryly.  "How many samples?"

"We have a pile of coke," one of the Hazmat guys said from the doorway.  "I know they're diplomats, Horatio."

"We've been trying."

"I know.  I heard.  You got 'em now."  Horatio smirked evilly at that.  "Head home.  Delko said he can start processing this tonight and the night lab can do the rest for us."

"I can...."

"Head home so your boy can check you over, make sure you're all right?  Yes, you can," Frank told him, giving him a nudge.

"Frank," Horatio started, hands on his hips.

"Get your hind end in that hummer and let my baby fuss over you!" Alexx said firmly, pointing and stamping a foot.  He walked off shaking his head.  "Thank you!  We can handle it, Horatio Caine.  You can let us do some of the work too.  We want them just as badly as you do."  He nodded as he walked, slipping into his sunglasses.  "Have that suit dry cleaned immediately."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you!"  She looked at Frank.  "You too."

"Needs it anyway, it's hot in there without the a/c."  He looked at the Hazmat guys, who nodded for him to go.  "You sure?"

"Yup.  It's good."  He nodded, heading off past the press that was starting to gather.

"Detective!" one shouted.  "Is this who sent the mumps virus to Mr. Harris?"

"It appears that they were also sickened by it.  Ask the lab tomorrow, people.  I don't make the statements for the department."  He walked off.  He'd have reports to do but he could change and get dinner before heading back.  His dry cleaner accepted the plastic bag he had it in.  "I was at a drug scene," he told the girl.  "Shouldn't have anything on it but just in case."

"I know, Detective.  We'll be tossing it in by itself under special precautions.  We've already gotten orders from Lieutenant Caine."  Frank smiled and nodded.  She went to add his to Horatio's bag.  "Another one from the same scene."

"That's fine, we'll run them separately and last," the head dry cleaner said.  She was certified to run things that had drugs on them.  Everyone was used to biological contributions.  Some people had the nastiest clothing in existence.  "At least neither one of them are the half of men who have shit on their shirttails."

The front counter girl shuddered. "I hate checking in laundry."  She went back to deal with the next customer.

***

Adam came in to check on Xander, smiling at him.  "Feeling better?"

"Yup.  Why aren't they sick too?"

"They got their shots."

"Oh.  Yeah, she was kinda lax on that.  The doc signed off half the time without giving them."  He shrugged. "Mom told him he did and he had forgotten so he signed off."  He took his soup to drink. "Paul?"

"I've called.  He's fine.  Hubert's fine.  No signs of a fever yet."  Xander smiled.  "The delivery boy had it.  The General's whole house got exposed, but otherwise they're fine."  Xander nodded, sipping his soup.  "Go back to sleep, Xander."

"Will.  Thank you for babying us."

"You needed it."  He went to let the boys fuss now.  "He's finishing his soup and going back to sleep."

"How did he not get his shots?"

"The doctor had a very bad memory problem so his mother told him he had done it.  He signed off on the forms.  It meant she didn't have to pay for them."

"Aw, damn," Danny muttered.  "Well, they said the delivery boy will be fine.  I called to check with the officers on guard.  Only a few of the hysterical mothers brought in their kids to be checked.  Hubert's still fine and they got him alpo tonight.  They said he's grumbling.  I had Ryan take over real food for him."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that."  He patted him on the head, looking at the tv.  "Wasn't he supposed to get a bigger one?"

"It's on back order," Don said.  "It's fine as long as you're near the center of the seating area."  He put his feet up and got comfortable.  "You know, the tables in the center are the perfect height to lay across."

"I think that was his plan," Adam said happily.  "He did a wonderful job in here."  He stroked the couch.  "We need a new couch."

The dogs jumped up, cuddling in with Daddy.  "Hi, boys," Don said, petting them gently.  "Not going to nap with Xander?"  One went to lay with him.  The other got Don to cuddle.  Don yawned and fell asleep there.

Adam checked him.  He shook his head.  "How did you miss yours?"

"He had chicken pox from the vaccine too," Danny said quietly.  "He was a sick kid."  Adam nodded, letting Danny help him carry Don into the bedroom to put him in with Xander.  "Watch him for us," he ordered.  Xander nodded, cuddling in.  They went back to the news.  He answered the phone.  "Hi, Greg.  Caller ID, Greg.  He's fine.  He and Don both have it.  It looks okay.  No, I'm fine so far and I came in contact with the powder.  Because I got my shots, Sanders.  Yeah.  They're in bed.  You know those two.  They're indestructible.  Sure, they'll call tomorrow.  Tell Tony they're fine too so he can quit pacing.  No, the General's sons sent it.  Turn to HNN."  He did and then cackled evilly.  "Yeah.  All of the household was sick.  The delivery boy they used.  No one else but I heard Alexx had to pull out her mothering act on one of the gang kids so she could pull the bullet in his arm.  Another she had to relocate his shoulder."  He got another laugh.  "Sure, we're good.  We'll be in  quarantine probably tomorrow too.  Hubert's at the vets.  Ryan's feeding him tonight.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, we're fine.  Thanks."  He hung up and sat down.  "Greg was sending Xander a present."

"What sort?"

"Did you know they make plushies of diseases?"  Adam gave him an odd look so he found his laptop and logged onto the site Eric had found one night from his sisters.  He let him see.  "Mumps."

Adam smirked.  "Those are cute.  Probably good for education purposes too."  He put it aside, going back to the news.

***

Mac sat down across from Horatio on Horatio's back deck a few hours later.  "All the drugs were processed.  The pile of coke had minute traces.  Someone brought it out of the other room and infected it."  He took the beer from Speed.  "Don got hit too but he's fine.  A fairly light case."  He took a drink.  "Ryan had to argue with the vet tech about feeding Hubert chicken.  He won.  The vet agreed he should have his normal diet and asked why they had him.  Ryan told him and said it was a reasonable precaution. They'd release him in three days if he's not sick," Horatio told him.

"The Fed arrested all the guards, all three sons, and let the household staff go since they didn't have anything to do with it," Speed said.  Mac smiled at that.  That was good justice.  "The bodyguards are going to be given deals to testify for weapons charges and lower drug charges instead of 'assisting a terrorist action' charges."  Mac snickered.  "He said most of them have already taken it.  No one's died.  It was a fairly weak strain."

"The chemist?" Mac asked.

"She saw me and growled how she wanted me to get sick and lose the rest of my hair.  Pity. She did it in front of officers.  She's already in federal custody," Horatio told him.

Mac laughed.  "I like that."  He stood up and finished his beer.  "It's been a long day.  You two destress.  We'll handle it without Danny and Don for a few days.  Ray will be bouncy because Adam's there but we'll be fine."  He left, heading home to Stella to tell her  she had been in the Everglades all day on a new case.  They had just barely gotten back.

Horatio pulled Speed over to kiss him.  "Timmy, I do believe that was an order."

"Well, he was a Marine," he teased, kissing him back.  He and Horatio understood each other perfectly tonight.

Deranged, Demented, and Defended.

Don woke up and smiled because he felt better.  Especially since he could hear Hubert grumbling in the living room.  "Is he back?" he called.

"No, that's Adam.  They wanted to keep him out of here for another week," Danny said, coming to the doorway.  "They said even if it's not in the house and we're fine they don't want him exposed in case there's some in the air or on a table."

"Can someone dragon-sit?" Xander asked, still sleepy and fully under the covers.

"I've called around.  The ones down here are in the middle of one of your poker buddies going rogue.  I'll try Greg next."  He went to call him.  "Hey, Greg, Danny."  He smiled at the happy babble he was getting.  "They're both fine but they won't let Hubert come home for a week because they don't want any chance with the immune system they can't be sure of."  He listened to the offer.  "You think you can?  We'll send up food."  He grinned. "Thanks, man."  He hung up and turned to find Vesvold standing there looking amused.  "What?"

"They're adorable."

"Which ones?  The sick twins?  They are."

"Greg and Tony."

"They are too."  He grinned.  "Greg makes Tony play.  Tony makes Greg settle down now and then.  It works for 'em.  What's up?"

"I was going to offer to take Hubert up there via the demon who still wants them.  As a matter of fact, we've already got him at my house.  My mother is getting attached."

"They didn't say that."

"I was just there, Danny."

"Oh, okay."  He looked in the freezer, packing bags of meat that Xander had prepared.  "He gets one a day.  He usually eats off a plate."  He packed a second bag.  Plus a huge ham bone.  "There, that should do him."  He zipped up the padded warmer/colder carrier bags and handed them over. "You sure?"

"Not a problem.  It's keeping my mother from fussing over him."  He disappeared with the bags, going to grab the baby dragon and take him to Gibbs since he was in the office.  He appeared, handing him the bags, then removing the dragon from his robe.  "The vet didn't want him at home until a week after they were sure both fathers were better.  Gregory and Tony agreed to dragon sit."

"Uh-huh.  Too bad they're at home."

"The demon who still wants them would be hellishly upset with me if I popped into their house.  Going to the head of the harem is always appropriate.  Danny said he eats one pack a day on a regular plate.  He included a ham bone so he had something to gnaw on if he wanted.  My mother thinks he's adorable."  Gibbs simply smirked at that.  "Thank you."  He disappeared.

Gibbs looked at the dragon.  "Can you wait until they get here?"  It nodded and laid down. "I forgot you're intelligent."  He called them.  "DiNozzo, why am I dragon sitting when you are?"  He hung up and checked the bags.  Completely frozen.  It'd be fine for a few minutes.  He pulled out one to look at.  Then at the dragon.  "You like teriyaki chicken?"  The dragon nodded, nosing a bag.  He got him the ham bone, letting him have it.  The dragon went to lay in the sun with it, curling up next to the windows.

Kate walked and sat down, noticing the bags.  "Lunch?"  Gibbs pointed so she looked.  "What is that?"

"Xander's pet Hubert."

"Hubert is the name of the species?"

"No, that's his name.  Xander said he's a baby dragon.  The veterinarian didn't want him to go home until a least a week after the mumps were gone from the house.  DiNozzo's dragon sitting.  The bags are his food."

"What does he eat?"

"Teriyaki chicken.  Some beef."  He shrugged.  "He's a carnivore.  He's also intelligent.  Hubert, come say good morning to Kate," he called.  He came over to sniff her then grumbled something and went back to his window.   Kate was staring at him, giving him a horrified look.  He smirked.  "Beats an online elf any day," he said dryly.

She called Abby, swatting the keys until they worked the way she wanted.  "Dragon!"  She hung up on the giggling.

Abby came bouncing up.  "Awwww, who's the widdle baby dragon Hubert?" she cooed, coming over to pet him.  "Can I give you chin scratches?"  He lifted it and she scratched him.  "Such a good dragon.  Is Uncle Tony dragon sitting while your daddy is sick?" she asked.  The dragon nodded.  "You poor thing.  I bet you miss curling up with the ferrets and Daddy Xander's hair."  She sat down beside him to pet him.  She even smiled at Kate.  "He's a very good ferret guardian too.  He pulls Xander's out to play with them all the time."   The dragon smirked at Kate and went back to sucking up his rightful attention and affection.

"Don't spoil him," Gibbs ordered.

"I'm not!  Meany!"

Tony came whistling off the elevator.  "There's my pseudo-nephew.  Hey, Hubert.  Wanna come home?"  He rested his chin on Abby's knee, giving him a begging look.  "She can come over after work."  Hubert picked up his bone and got to his feet, stretching out, waving his tail.  Then he walked over, nosing the bags.  "I know, Daddy said he was sending you up with food."  He picked them up.  "Thanks, boss."  He walked Hubert out.  "Want carried?  The parking garage is cold."  The dragon shook his head, standing beside him in the elevator.

"I'll come see you later, Hubert," Abby called, waving as the doors closed.  "He's so *sweet*!"  She beamed.  "If Xander finds another egg do you think he'd let me have him?"

"You'd have to ask him," Gibbs said, giving her a look.  "Thank you for giving Kate better views of pet ownership."  She nodded and hugged him before bouncing off again.  "You better now, Kate?"

She let out a wordless shriek.  "That was a dragon?"

"A baby one."  He grinned at her.  "Xander found it on one of his trips, consensual trips, to find neat things as he told me.  Found him in the egg.  Wolfe was with him.  It was right before the Vegas convention.  While he was off learning that dance stuff."  She got up and stomped off.  He chuckled.  For a Saturday on-call, this wasn't turning out so bad.  Even if he did need to finish the paperwork from the last case and so did she.  "I still need your report, Agent Todd."

"In a minute," she snapped, calling McGee from the break room.  "Tony's dragon sitting."  She nodded.  "Yeah, and Abby loves him too.  Exactly!  They're going insane!  Gibbs was even *smiling* about the dragon!"  She growled at the person coming into the breakroom, sending him running for a different coffeepot.  "Yes, I could!  Thank you!"  She hung up and stomped back there, getting back to her report.  She finally printed it and tossed it at him then headed home to take something for her new headache.  Because that wasn't right!  Even GHS shouldn't own mythological creatures!  Even baby ones!

Gibbs snickered once she was in the elevator.  "Good for her," he decided.  "The blood pressure spike will do her good.  Put color in her cheeks again.  Beats having her sulk over her ex."  He sent an email to Greg, getting back a laughing smiley face.  He deleted the message.

***

McGee knocked on Tony's door.  "Dragon?"

"Hubert."  The dragon came waddling over.  "This is Tim McGee, I work with him.  He role plays an elf online in a game."

Hubert sniffled him then waved his tail and walked off again.

McGee stared.  "That's...."

"A baby dragon," Tony said with a grin.  "Xander found his egg on one of his many roadtrips with Ryan Wolfe."

"That's just wrong."

"The vet didn't want him at home since they had the mumps sent to them.  So we're sitting him for a week."

"He's very polite," Greg said, leaning over Tony's arm.  "Hi, Tim.  Want to come in?"

"I'll be warped if I do, right?"

"Have we yet?" Greg asked patiently.

"I'm not sure.  You know you guys gave Kate a migraine?"

Tony grinned.  "Beats watching her sulk over her new ex."

"Good point," he said, shaking his head quickly.  "Abby?"

"Met Hubert the last time she was in Miami.  They're cute together.  She coos and pets him."

"Oh.  Okay."  He nodded, walking off again.  He felt something tug on his pantslegs so he looked down.  "Hi, Hubert."  The dragon tugged again.  "What?"  He nodded his head.  "Inside?"  The dragon gave him a nod.  "You're intelligent?"

"He's very intelligent, and he's an excellent ferret keeper too," Greg told him.  Hubert beamed at him.  "Come on in, Tim.  Get warm with the dragon."  They walked in together and he kissed Tony.  "Thank you for letting me dragon sit."

"Not an issue.  Hubert's a good pet."  He went back to his movie, Greg curling up beside him.  "You should see the new theater we installed for Xander.  It's *great*.  Looks like a real one.  Has a THX sound system.  Old style seats."  He grinned.  "Xander said his family was *very* happy and they watched a movie first thing."  Greg grinned at that, snuggling in beside him.  McGee and the dragon were staring at each other.  "He's not going to eat you, Probie.  He likes chicken and beef, not pudgy probie butt."

"Gee, thanks.  What happens when he's larger?"

"I'm assuming here but Xander has that situation covered."  He looked at him.  "Who knows.  By then the aliens Xander thinks are out there might've come down and Xander might have his own planet."

Hubert gave him a look, then shook his head and tail, crawling up Tim to sit in his lap, giving him an expectant look.

"Sure, I'll pet you," he said, petting him gently.  The dragon sighed in pleasure.  "You're as much of a hedonist as your human, aren't you?"  The dragon beamed at him and settled in for a good lap nap.  "Fine."  He settled in too.  It was calming and he was getting good ideas petting the dragon.  "That cold case we got the DNA on last week.  Did we check for boyfriends or her experimenting with men?"

"She was a lesbian but sometimes they do switch," Greg said.  "I don't know.   I wasn't here then."  He looked at Tony, giving him a nudge.

"She was experimenting with a few boys to see if she was really a lesbian according to her girlfriend.  Someone was pressuring her to so she tried it a few times.  I think we ruled out the one the girlfriend knew about.  If Abby could separate the DNA sample we might be able to.  The FBI said they're backlogged."

"I'll do it tomorrow," Greg told him.  McGee grinned at that.  "What?  It was my first love."

Tony gave him a squeeze.  "I love your giant brain."

"Of course you do.  It turns you on nearly as much as my cute ass on the dancefloor.  Especially later."

Tony gave him an evil little smirk.  "I could be talked into that."  Greg cuddled him and they went back to the movie, letting McGee get all sorts of ideas from the warm little scaled body in his lap.

***

Tony closed his mustang's door, then looked in the area behind the seats.  He opened it and pointed.  The dragon climbed out and steamed happily at him before wandering off.  "You were supposed to stay home, Hubert.  Gibbs will not be pleased."

Hubert steamed again, letting him get them onto the elevator.  He got off and sniffed, then nipped someone until they screamed and brought someone running.  He huffed at the stuff on her desk.

"Cocaine.  Interesting," Gibbs said.  "Detain her.  Search her desk."  He looked down.  "You were supposed to stay at home, Hubert."  The dragon's tail swished and he walked off, finding a good spot in Kate's chair.  "No, move.  Now."  The dragon stared at him so Gibbs lifted him up and put him down, pointing.  "Leave Kate alone."  He huffed and went to curl up on top of McGee's computer monitor.  It was warm and he smelled nice.

"He snuck into the mustang, boss."  He called Greg.  "Guess who snuck out."  He hung up.  "He's getting coffee."

"That's why I let him get here ten minutes late.  He bounces without it."  He went to deal with the agent who had been sniffing coke from her mirror at her desk.  Their Internal Affairs people were already there so he left it in their hands and went back to his desk.  Ducky was staring at him.  "He's Harris'."

"So I've heard.  He's quite a charming specimen."  He petted his head.  "Yes, very cute, Hubert.  Quite adorable of you.  Should you be here?"

"No," Gibbs said.  "DiNozzo didn't see him sneaking."

"Aren't you glad I don't have toddlers to not catch sneaking instead," Tony quipped.

"YES!" Kate yelled from up the hall.  "If you have kids, I'm killing you and them before one of you brings Satan back to life."

Tony stood up to look at her.  "No you wouldn't.  A baby DiNozzo is adorable."

"Which is how they'd do it."  She stomped over.  She stared at the dragon.  "Again?"

"He didn't catch him sneaking," Gibbs said.  "Quit yelling."

"Yes, boss," they said together.

Tony sat down and logged into his official email.  "Huh.  We're going to have to take a floor-wide drug test, boss."  He looked up.  "We're hallucinating him."

"If so he's a very good one," Ducky said.  "He's a bit warm."

"He blows steam," Tony told him.  That got a nod and Ducky gave him one last pet before moving on.  McGee came walking in and sat down.  "Morning, Probie.  Late?"

"A bit.  Gate's backed up on traffic, boss.  Took me thirty minutes to get from the street to the parking lot."

"Why?"

"One of the guards was having a rant about illegal pets."  He looked at the dragon.  "Snuck in?"  It beamed and nodded, smoking a bit.  "Did you cause the fit?"  He shook his head.  "You sure?"

"The guard would've mentioned seeing him.  It was probably Padleva, down in HR.  She's got a new monkey."  Tony shook his head.  Greg walked off the elevator and came to grab the dragon then walked him off. "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Padleva's new monkey got free at the gate, Gibbs.  They're nearly shutting us down."

"Then he can stay," Gibbs ordered.  Greg got off the elevator and came back to log into his computer and time card.  He looked at Hubert.  "You will behave and stay out of the way.  No bothering people unless they're doing bad things."  The dragon steamed and nuzzled his leg then went back to McGee's screen.

"Sure, you keep warm up there," he agreed, reaching up to pet him.  The tail swished and the head got put onto his forepaws.  McGee got back to work.  "Why are we being drug tested this time?"

"Hubert caught an agent sniffing coke at her desk and bit her."

"It was a good job," Gibbs said.

Kate looked at him.  "He's that intelligent?"  Hubert looked at her and beamed then nodded.  "You can't be.  Your brain's not that big."

"If he's a dragon there's probably more to him than appears," McGee said dryly.  "I'm wondering how large he'll grow."  Greg handed over a picture.  "What's this?"

"Mystical road trip with Xander and Ryan."  He sat down and shuddered.  "Hubert wanted to come and couldn't.  That was a momma dragon that Xander cooed at; she let scratch her chin."

McGee looked at the height difference between Xander, who looked fairly tiny, and the big mother dragon, letting the dragon see it.  "Is she your species?"  The dragon steamed, nosing it.  "Huh.  So some century you'll be that big, huh?  That's kinda interesting.  Will he be able to hunt?"

"Yup," Greg said.  "Xander takes him into the woods and teaches him how to track now and then at the farm.  He got a bunny rabbit a few months back."

Hubert's tail waved a bit and he steamed then put his head back down.

"Mystical road trip?" Kate asked.

Greg looked at her.  "Do you honestly think Xander found Hubert anywhere on *this* plane of existence?"  She went pale.  "Or learned those dances?"  She whimpered.  "Mystical.  Road.  Trip.  Thankfully he has to take Ryan on those for protection or we'd have to invade to get him back.  It's bad enough when they come here to take him, Horatio, and Ryan that time."  He got back to work.

Gibbs looked at him.  "They came.... why?"

"Redheads were so rare they were nearly mythical.  They wanted Xander and Ryan as regular sex slaves but Horatio would've been a prize.  That's how Horatio hurt his back.  He tried to get free and a disc blew.  That's when Ryan took his *special* training and they got the marks they wear in tattoo form.  It's also where Ryan got Princess, his warmare."

"Warmare?" McGee asked.

"Yeah, fully trained for combat," Tony agreed.  "He's got two now.  For the same reason Xander has two of each of his pets but Hubert.  The same creature did it.  Then Xander's got his stallion and a foal they adopted from the ASPCA.  They're at the farm.  Xander's out there nearly every day riding."

Gibbs shook his head quickly.  "I don't want to see Xander on a horse.  Really."

"His stallion's black and about eighteen hands, boss.  He looks good on him."

"Enough," he ordered.

"Sure, boss."  He grinned at Greg.  "Can you ride?"

"I can.  Ryan and Xander taught me.  Horatio and Speed take both Princesses out for picnics now and then too."  Gibbs moaned, holding his head.  "I have pictures of the new ferretopia."  He pulled them up.  "He's got about ten cages now.  They go across one wall and slightly around a corner onto another one.  He said his ferrets were loving it."  Hubert nosed a picture.  "A few more days and you can go back, Hubert.  They wanted to make sure you wouldn't get sick like the Xander daddy did."  Hubert settled down again.  The Internal Affairs agent stomped into their row.  "Wanted to see my friend's new ferret kingdom?"  He let him see the cage's pictures.  "He's calling it Ferretopia.  Even has a little bronze plaque on it."

He handed it back, shaking his head.  "They said the thing that bit her is yours?"

"We're dragon sitting while his human has mumps."  He pointed at the dragon.  Who was gone.  "Hubert!"

McGee grabbed him and handed him over. "He was trying to get into my bottom desk drawer.  He opened it then slammed it.  "Boss, whoever that insane person is is back. I think I need my desk checked."

"Why?" he asked, looking over.

McGee found a pen so he could pull out the used panties and hold them up. "Because I'd never wear them and if I was that nasty  you would've scrubbed me by now."  Hubert came back to sniff.  "No!  You don't know what you'll catch off the skank doing that!"  He let Tony take the pen and panties from him while he leaned against the front of his desk, petting the dragon.  "He belongs to a guy down in Miami who's a friend of Tony and Greg's.  He's very intelligent and I'm sure he didn't want to hurt her.  After all, he's carnivorous.  If he wanted to he probably could've taken a good chunk out of her ankle."  The dragon gave him a disgusted look then shook his head.  "I know, she'd taste bad."  Hubert nodded and put his head back on the human petter's shoulder.  His tail swished when he smelled the squealy one, and he made a gentle 'meep' noise.  She squealed and stole him to pet from her lap, making him give the others smug looks.

The IA agent shook his head quickly. "Get him out of the building."

"He snuck into DiNozzo's car this morning," Gibbs told him.  "He's used to police stations since his human pet brings him to lunches with his lover at the station down there."

Tony pulled out a few more things.  "Probie, are you stocking KY tubes?  Half used and not?"

"I have a half-tube in case I have to get the desks back together again.  That one area sticks and grinds in a bad way if I don't.  Mine's the normal formula, small tube."  Tony held his up.  "Looks like mine."

"Heating one yours?"

"No.  I'm not that kinky."

"Neither am I."  He put those with the panties and dug out more.  "Flowered sundress?"

"Don't make me hit you."

"Sure."  He put that on top of the other stack.  Then he pulled out something and held it up. "Huh."  He showed it to him, getting a white hot blush. "Yours?"

"No," he said, shaking his head violently until the dragon came back to cuddle him. "Thank you, Hubert.  You're a good friend."

"What do you use that for?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm not really sure," Abby admitted.

Greg looked up from his email reading then shrugged.  "It's a specific type of garter for mantyhose.  To help you tuck better."  Everyone stared at him.  "I worked in Las Vegas, people.  I've tested them for DNA before."  They all shuddered.  "Those things are damn expensive and hard to find.  I know a queen who couldn't find one she wanted for months."

"It's a lead," Gibbs said.   "Anything else, DiNozzo?"

"Um...  Yeah.  McGee...."

"If it's sex related of course I wouldn't bring it here."  Tony walked the towel-wrapped thing over to show him.  "You can monogram those?"

"At the place in the mall," Greg quipped.  "Anything metal or hard plastic."  He looked then shrugged.  "Place by the Mall, the Lincoln end, has somewhere you can buy those.  That's where I got your monogrammed case, Tony."

"Okay."  He put it into a bag as well.  "Not yours, right?"

"If it was I'd never bring it here!" he said in a high, squeaky voice.  Hubert purred and he calmed down, going back to petting him.  "I want the skanky bitch who keeps doing that gone!" he complained.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Non latex condoms," Tony said, pulling out a long strip of them.  "Fourteen of them."  He looked at McGee.

"I don't know anyone with a latex allergy," he admitted.

"Xander."

"He does?"  Greg nodded.  "Are they yours?"

Greg looked.  "No, I like the other brand."

"I was wondering about that," Tony admitted.  He bagged them too, searching the other drawers.  "All yours, Probie.  Is that your usual background for your monitor?"

He looked then shook his head.  "No.  That was changed on me.  I had a nice, scenic view of the sunset over the Potomac."  He pulled the file's specifications and properties off and gave the copy of it to Tony too.  "There you go."  He changed it back and found a few others to save down for him.  "And a few more.  One of Xander."

"He's pretty enough," Tony admitted.  He looked at them.  "Telephoto lens.  Shit," he said suddenly.  Greg came over to look over his shoulder.  "Em."  He flipped.  "Xander.  Philip, from Baltimore," he said quietly.  "You."  He looked up.  "Who's the other one?"

He looked.  "Melissa.  The new girl in New York," he said.  Gibbs came over to look.  "Any others?"  Tony flipped to the last picture.  "Who is that?"

"That's Don Epps' brother," Gibbs said, finding the phone to call him.  He got voicemail. "It's Gibbs, call me ASAP, Epps.  I just found your picture on one of my guys' computer from his stalker along with a lot of other pictures of people who were at the convention."  He hung up and looked at Tony.  "They local?"

"Baltimore, rural Virginia," he said at the one picture.  "Xander.  Greg.  His brother."

"Two relatively close, Sanders, Harris, and him.  You?"

McGee did a time search, coming up with a few more. "There's a few other pictures I don't recognize but they're location shots, boss."  He let him see.

Tony came over to look.  "That's the place in Baltimore," Gibbs said.   "The one Ducky took me to for explanations."

Tony nodded.  "The farm's Em's.  We chat a lot.  She lost her keeper last year.  We thought she was going to follow," he said quietly.

"You know about those freaks?" the IA guy asked.  He was sneering at Greg now.  "I knew you do."

"Don't make me hit you," Greg warned. "I doubt you'd like it with the way Xander and Ryan both upped my self defense then the boss added military style to it."  He came over to look.  "That's the Vegas lab's morgue entrance."  Tony whimpered.  "Mine's older.  When I was just starting on field training."  He looked at Tony's computer, going over to grab Gibbs' phone when it rang.  "Sanders.  Yeah, he's helping McGee weed out pictures.  Give us ten.  We're still weeding.  So far, mine, his, Xander's, a few local."  He nodded.  "Yeah, give us ten more."  He hung up.  "He said to call him back with a list."  He looked.  "That's Cal Sci's campus.  I was there for a DNA lecture a few years ago."  Gibbs looked at him.  "They have a good department."  They kept going.  "That's the front yard, pre orchard, at Xander's."  That got a shudder.  McGee did another search and came up with a new picture.  "That's just sick," he decided.  It was hopefully doctored.  "Please let it be doctored."

Tony looked then shrugged.  "Em's been missing for two weeks, guys.  We've alerted people and no one's heard a thing."

Gibbs looked at him.  "You didn't tell me why?"

"Because we can't get hold of her sister that she could've went to visit.  I've been checking in with the cops down there.  She's out of our area too.  She's out of the Richmond FBI office's area.  Copy all those onto one CD, Probie.  Even if I have to walk it across town it'll get looked at."  He nodded.  "Any other?"

"One marked crime scene one that I'm not sure we didn't take since it's listed as being from one of our cameras."  He opened it and groaned.  "Do we know that case?"

Greg looked then nodded. "Six weeks ago.  Um, cadet at the academy.  Second year."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Don't remember the name.  Jealous girlfriend?  Maybe?"

Gibbs looked then nodded. "If I remember right."  He went to look up the name.  "Phoranis?"

Tony pulled out a book, frowning.  He handed it over to his boss, open to the right page. "His mom is."

"Shit," McGee said.  "Then why target me?"

"Maybe they want you to stop them," Greg said.

"Maybe.  Or maybe they think you're involved," Tony said.  "You were talking to your friend on the phone the other day.  Not about this stuff but if they know..."

"Yeah, I was, about when this all started," he said, looking at Gibbs.  "Do we go FBI or not?"

"This is NCIS domain," the IA agent said firmly.  "If she's stalking you...."

"Technically the rules state that the FBI gets any case about any other federal agent," Tony told him.  "Fornell likes to shove that down our throat now and then.  I'm all for asking the BAU guys, Gibbs.  Kate?"

"I have no clue if whoever is mad at them or wants to be them.  They're mixing their message with the smut then the killing stuff.  I'm going to go with a higher source."

"Plus one of them knows," Gibbs said quietly. "And could be a target too."  Tony nodded.  "We'll talk to them later.  Thank you, Agent Hopkins.  We'll handle this in-team and with help."

"I want kept informed. Especially if this little cult leads to less than exemplary behavior."

"You know, if we could fix the issues that create the higher pheromones, it'd be different.  Since the only things that can lower it will kill us, I doubt we're that desperate for the most part," Greg told him.  "Now get the hell out of my face before I bust yours."  He walked off smirking.  Greg glared until the guy tripped on the stairs.  "I'm getting his badge yanked," he muttered.

"No," Tony ordered.  Greg slumped.  "Don't.  That's not ethical."  Greg nodded, sitting down again.  "Boss?"

"I'll call the one I know, boys.  Have Abby process that immediately while I call them then Epps back."  He picked up his phone to do that while Tony took the things downstairs.  "Epps, Gibbs.  McGee, on my team, has a stalker.  He got some people from the convention and your brother's picture.  Including a picture of his campus and a few crime scene style photos.  One taken on NCIS cameras.  We're working on it now.  We know one's missing but we're not sure at the moment. DiNozzo's been working on that.   He wanted BAU involved.  You going to fuss?"  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Guard him until we have an idea.  Hopefully today.  Because we think they targeted McGee because he was chatting with an old friend from college who was on the *other* side of the equation."  He nodded.  "Exactly.  Be careful."  He hung up and looked up the number.  "Agent Reed please?"  He waited a few seconds.  "Reed, Gibbs.  We've got one of your sickos after the convention's people.  McGee's computer and desk.  Including Epps' brother.  We're here.  Come over.  Abby's processing."  The dragon waddled over and huffed in his ear.  "Hubert."  He pushed him gently away, rolling his eyes at the question.  "He's up being babysat."  He hung up.  "McGee, lock it down until their tech gets here.  She's supposed to be as good, if not better than you."

"I bow to the woman, Gibbs.  We're equal in some things but she's better in this area."  That got a nod.  "Want me to make copies of the pictures for Epps?"  Gibbs nodded so he moved to Tony's computer to do that.  He got a blank CD out of his desk and loaded it.  It came up with pictures.  He looked.  Then he ran off to be sick.

Gibbs looked then called Abby.  "Someone switched out McGee's blank CD's for ones with crime scene photos, Abby.  He's getting sick."  He hung up.  Then he went to find him. "You know her?"

"I went to college with her.  That's my friend's wife, Gibbs."  He gave him a look then got sick again.

Gibbs went back, finding Abby chatting with a heavyset woman wearing flashy clothes and brightly colored glasses, plus sparkly things in her hair.  "You are?"

"This is Miss Garcia from the BAU," Abby said.  She let her have the CD's.  "I took the one out of Tony's computer for him.  McGee looked like he was trying to copy the ones we've already found."

"One of the pictures we found today was the brother of an agent out in the LA office of the FBI," he told her.

"Hmm.  I saw that."  She gathered the rest and sat down at McGee's computer, smiling at the helpful creature who came over.  "Hello, sweetie.  What are you?"

"That's Hubert.  Xander's baby dragon," Abby said, picking him up to cuddle.  "He's a good boy.  He nipped an agent he found snorting coke at her desk this morning."

"Good for him," she said, getting into his computer once he had given her the password.  She giggled at something.  "I know that game.  I was there until last year."  She moved on at his weak smile.  "The person on the CD?"

"I was talking to her husband the day before the first thing showed up," he said, sitting down at Tony's desk, taking Hubert to cuddle.  "Abby, processing?"

"They're running and Tony's watching my machines.  Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Thank you."  She gave him a hug then went back to her lab.  "Did she take the original from mine to copy?"

"Yup, and the others," she agreed.  "I've met Charlie Epps in the past at a computer conference sponsored by the NSA.  He's a nice guy.  Very sweet but a bit confused.  Has great hair.  He's the sort you want to bring home to Momma and make her happy."

McGee smiled.  "I'll tell him you said that."

"He laughed when I told him that."  She got back to work, finding everything she needed.  "What was in there today and what else was stuffed into your desk, sweetie?  Tell Garcia."

He got the lists for her, handing them over.  "All but today's."

She looked then nodded.

"Today's had mantyhose garter and tucking band, a sundress, some extra tubes of lube, fourteen non latex condoms, used panties, and a towel-wrapped, monogrammed sex toy," Greg reported. She gave him a happy look.  "I'm CSI trained."

"Shit, sweetie, could use you around the office."  She got back to work, holding up a CD when her boys came in.  "Your copy.  All the files I've found on his computer from that same user and her usual times.  She's in here around one in the morning.  Security hasn't answered an email back about who was up here then."  She looked at Gibbs, who went to talk to them in person and get it.  "Abby's still processing, including new images found on the CD's in his desk that were supposed to be blank."

"We'll need those," Reed said.

"Abby's copying them down in the lab and searching to see if any are their cases or not.  We know one was.  His mother was in the little blue book."

"I can pull up that file," Greg said, handing it over after a minute.  "There you go.  I'm running a check with the Richmond office over the possible kidnaping of the one we have the hopefully doctored picture of and Tony's been keeping track of.  I'm waiting on a call back from my email."

"Good.  Meeting room?" Gideon asked calmly.

"Upstairs," the director said from the walkway.  "You can use my office and brief me at the same time."

Greg looked up.  "Does that mean I can hit the asshole now?"

"No but I did want to know how you'd carry out that threat, Sanders."

Greg walked a card up there, showing it to him.  "He wanted dinner the other night.  I'd ask.  Nicely."  That got a shudder.  "If I get sneered at I'm going to react."

"Agreed.  I've given him a lecture and reminded him that is not an acceptable topic of public....  What is that?"

"We're baby dragon sitting.  His humans got sent mumps in Miami."

"I heard about that.  He can't go home?"

"They said they weren't sure he could get it.  They said a week."  That got a nod.  "He snuck into Tony's car this morning."

"I had a dog that did that."  He let them into his office, nodding at Abby, Tony, and Gibbs when they came up.  "Do we have any answers?"

"The panties belong to someone in the databanks under a kidnaping kit," she said.  "I ran it specially against one specific kit."

"She was?" the director asked.

She put down the forms.  "Tony's friend."

"I've called the guys in the Richmond office.  They're still cold.  They can't get her sister.  The local cops said her sister's been out of town for a few days.  Which is unusual.  She's pretty housebound due to old injuries from what Em told me."  He sighed, sitting down.  "We did warn Don Epps, right?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Good."

"There weren't any hairs that I've found so far."  Greg got up and went to do that for her. "But we're apparently taking shifts."

"These are friends, Abby.  It's painful for me to be up here the same as it is for him," Tony admitted quietly.

Reed looked at him. "If you need to we can come ask you later.  Or get Adam."

Tony shrugged.  "I know the ones around here better than he would from the regional conferences and I've been in Baltimore for work reasons."

"Let us know when you're getting close to your tolerance level," Hotchner said quietly.   "The stress won't help and you'll forget stuff.  We've seen it before you protest."

"So have I questioning officers after homicides," he agreed.  "I couldn't look at the crime scene photos on his CD stack to identify.  Sorry."

"No, we can do that," Abby assured him.  "I can crop one for faces, Tony."  He nodded, letting her go do that.

"So far, we know that they're either mad or desiring the GHS members and they do know about it somehow," Kate told them.  "I can't tell which so far.  I took the basics classes.  We haven't had much to go on before today.  This is the first time with more than trashy crap put into Probie's desk."

"What was it last time?" Reed asked.

"Six packets of birth control pills and some condoms.  A bottle of lube.  If I remember right a set of panties but they didn't appear used.  Abby said the electronic noze picked up laundry detergent so she thought they'd be clean.  Before then it was a taunting note.  Another condom or three.  We thought it was someone in the office who was registering her interest."

"Then today they changed his computer's background, they left us a lot of files he didn't find before, because he had no reason to," Garcia said, passing over the printout.  "If this isn't one of our sickos I'd be surprised. This was good, quality work slipping it in."

"Remotely?" Reed asked.

She shook her head.  "Sat down and uploaded from what I could tell.  And I would be able to tell.  I'm having Abby get me into the firewall to see if they've tried to upload any."  Tim nodded, getting onto the director's computer to do that for her.  She smiled. "You're handy."

"Of course I am," he said dryly, giving her a look.  "Or else I'd have been canned by Gibbs.  Even though I can fix his PDA."

She laughed.  "I like smart men who have a clue."  She came over to look, finding his computer's address.  "How often do you change IP?"

"Every few weeks.  If I have to hack someone official for a case."  They all stared at him.  "Legally of course."

"Which one were you talking to on the phone?" Gideon asked.  McGee wrote down his name.  "He's which side?"

"He's a keeper.  The CD I ran on Tony's computer had his wife's picture on it."

"All right."  He got into the files, starting to work on the profile.  "We could move to a conference room, Director.  We don't want to kick you out of your office."

"It's more secure in here.  We have some bigoted assholes in this office."  Greg came in and whispered in McGee's ear, getting a head shake.   He whispered in Tony's ear, getting a moan and him curling up on himself.  "We identified another one?"

"One of the ones in Baltimore."  Greg rubbed Tony's shoulder.  "It was on another of the supposedly blank CD's.  We identified her by DMV photos."  Hubert came over to sit on Tony's lap for a while.  "Thanks, Hubert."  He gave Tony a hug.  "We're working our lab magic, Tony.  Let us.  We'll catch him or her.  Whoever."  He left again.

Gideon looked at Tony.  "Go take a break.  We can do this part of it without help."  He nodded, leaving.  "Agent Gibbs...."

"I'm calling Epps to update him."

"We'll gladly conference him in," Derek told him.  "Not an issue."  That got a nod.  "The Miami office as well."

"No, if they're going after Harris, you tell Caine.  He's family with him.  Made family but still family.  The guy down there agreed, Harris and them handle their own stuff unless it's like the biological weapon that just got sent to him the other day."  Everyone stared at him.  "Unrelated.  It was related back to his poker habit and how their father lost his life for cheating him and some Mala Noche thugs.  The General's sons."

"Interesting," Hotchner said.  "I knew he was a suspected drug dealer."

"Diplomatic immunity," Gibbs told him.  "No suspected about it."

"I hate them," Derek said grimly.  "They sent what to the kid's house?"

"Mumps.  That's why we have the dragon.  The vet didn't want him in the house in case his immune system couldn't handle it."

"It's a good friend who'll pet sit," Gideon said quietly.  "Which one?"

"Both.  Greg used to be Xander's playmate and Tony knew him from the conventions.  They teach self defense together."

"Interesting.  Is Tony a regional liaison or anything?"

"As far as I know there aren't any.  Except in New York.  They have a matron who holds city-wide meetings every month to talk to the members.  Speaking of, we need to warn her. The new one, Melissa, her picture was on today's file list."

"We can do that too.  How do we get hold of her?" Reed asked.

"Her husband's a prosecutor."  He wrote down a name.  "That's him."  That got a nod and he went to make the call.  "Anything we can do right now?"

"Keep your agents close at hand," Hotchner told him.  "Just in case.  Do a lot of people know?"

"After Tony got given stuff by a terrorist?  Most of your office know about him and Sanders.  Half the office here knows about Sanders thanks to the time our old director tried to sell Harris."  That got a nod.  "He was with Xander at the time, up to help Tony.  News got around then that they were a lot alike.  The ones who didn't figure it out because they're piss poor agents got it from the gossips in HR."  Fornell walked in without knocking.  "Morning."

"Not a good one."  He handed over the case file.  "From the Richmond office.  They faxed it up for you."  He looked at him, nodding.  "They found her body."  Gibbs nodded, not looking happy.  "And there was a nice name on the walls.  DiNozzo's."  Gibbs went to find him since he was out getting some fresh air.  "I don't know if it leads back to DiNozzo or not.  It could."

"He didn't seem to know Epps at the convention," Reed told him.

"But he does now."  Tony was walked back in by Gibbs with the dragon.  "What is that?"

"We're dragon sitting."

"Oh.  That's his pet."  He nodded.  The dragon grumbled at him.  "I don't like animals.  Or people.  Get over it."  The dragon huffed and moved to cuddle Garcia, getting cooed at. "Did you know Charlie Epps?"

"Met him a few years back when he was in town doing NSA work?"  He shrugged.  "We met through a mutual acquaintance.  He knew someone back in college.  Did some math for the society.  If this is about me, why put it in McGee's desk?"

"Because they don't think you're competent to figure it out," Reed told him.  "They think your hormones are going to block you from doing the job.  He's clearly involved since he knew people before he got here.  Another stone in their downfall maybe."

"The old director?" Tony asked.  Hotchner gave him a horrified look.  "Could it be?"

"She would fit the profile we're building so far," Gideon admitted.  "I would say that they're angry with your sort. That they feel you did something to personally affront them.  Somehow took something from them by being yourself.  They may desire McGee because he can withstand you guys when you're surging.  That makes him worthy in their mind."

"We took her career from her when we found out she tried to sell Greg and Xander," Tony told him. "Plus tried to take the SUV from us."

"I'll send someone to check it over," Gibbs said, calling their bomb people to do that.  "Where is Sanders?"

"Lab."  Tony looked at them.  "Then why go after Charlie?"

"A bright young man like that being sucked in," Reed told him.  "It'd be like me being sucked in and found to be one of you.  By their way of thinking, this ruins good people.  Makes them useless, makes them unable to function.  Makes them less than animals."

"The ones who take us feel that way," Tony agreed, sitting down again.  "And..."  He saw the file and pulled it over but Reed took it back, shaking his head.  "I don't want to?"

"They found your name painted on Emily's wall," Gibbs told him quietly.  Tony went limp and nodded, thinking for now.  "Is she more likely than others?"

Gideon looked at him. "Let us finish the full file.  Go check your row, make sure nothing else got pulled out.  Garcia, check their systems since whoever clearly can get their passwords."  She nodded, taking them down to do that.

"Do the lab too," Fornell called.  "And the Morgue.  They're both linked into Gibbs' team."  He looked at them.  "I want kept in the loop.  If it's her, we'll have to stop DiNozzo from ripping her apart at the seams."

They nodded.  "We can conference you in as easily as we can Epps and Caine."  Fornell gave him an odd look.  "Harris' picture was included as well."

"Aw, crap.  Caine's going to have his panties in a twist.  Miami's going to go to war.  Harris has half the thugs in Miami wrapped around his fist from playing poker with them.  That's why they all gave up the people who sent him the bioweapon.  The Mala Noche who killed their father was more pissed that they were cheating Xander, but he knew he couldn't be gay because of the gang code.  He admitted he did it because of both of them, not just him."

"Is he considered a dangerous sort?"

"Jorge Muerte?"  They all shuddered.  "Yeah.  A bit.  Thankfully he was out of the country when the attack happened.  Caine got there first."

"We'll let Caine know when we have something."

"I'll let him know there's a threat first.  As far as I know they're still in quarantine."  Fornell walked off to do that from the balcony.  "Speedle, Fornell in the FBI DC office.  There's a credible threat to Harris.  Off McGee's computer at NCIS.  No, they're both fine but it appears to revolve around DiNozzo's life," he said quietly.  "We have BAU people working on it right now.  We'll conference your people in when we have a clue beyond this.  Good.  This number good?"  He nodded.  "We can do that."  He hung up.  "Kate?" he called.  She looked up.  "Anything?"

"Some files on mine.  I have a locked drawer I never get into.  We're getting a master key to open it."  He nodded.  "Greg's desk and computer were bare.  Gibbs' had files."

"Let us have them as soon as you get them off."  He went to get some coffee, thinking about this.  This was *very* bad.  If it was Sheppard at least he could see that.  She had been destroyed by coming after Harris, Tony, and Sanders.  Otherwise, he hoped Tony fucked them over good and it was a better reason than 'he broke up with me'.  He'd had to deal with one of those over DiNozzo in the past, though only as a stalker.  They had rescued her target before she had gotten them.

***

Speed hung up and looked around.  "HORATIO!" he yelled.  Horatio stood up from processing the scene.  "That was Fornell, with the FBI.  We have a credible threat to certain members of the family thanks to McGee's stalker.  Revolving around Tony so far.  They'll call back on your phone later once the BAU people have a clue."

"Set officers on his house," Horatio ordered.  "We'll watch him."  Speed came over while doing that.  "How long?"

"Probably a bit.  Fornell was talking like they'd only found it today."

"All right.   Have we seen any moves toward Xander recently?"

"No," Speed said.  "Not with half the department checking on his house.  Not with Don and Danny home all the time."

"Good point."  He considered it.  "Revolving around Tony?"  Speed nodded.  "Why?"

"I don't know but he did say Greg and Tony were fine when I asked.  Do we tell Xander?"

"We should," Frank said.  "He might be able to get us information they can't."

"I'll go over to tell them," Horatio decided.  "Frank?"

"Got it, go."  Horatio left the scene, heading over there, hoping that it was going to be stopped up there quickly.  He pulled into Xander's driveway, smiling at the dogs romping on the grass.  They came over for some ear scratches then went back to it.  He walked into the kitchen.  "Guys?" he called, hand near his gun just in case.

"Bedroom," Danny called.  He smiled, walking that way. "We're good.  You didn't have to come check in personally, boss."

"I did.  Agent McGee, on Greg and Tony's team, has a stalker who put pictures of Xander in with the other stuff she left.  Fornell from the FBI called.  He said it's a credible threat when he talked to Speed."

"Huh," Xander said from under the blankets.  "They okay?"

"So far Greg and Tony are.  They have...  Remember the psychologist, Spenser Reed?"  Xander's head lump nodded.  "They're profilers and they have his people working on it."  Xander peeked out at him.  "You relapsed?"

"No, he had a violent nightmare and ended up hitting his head a few times against the bed pole," Don said, pointing.   "His jaw's coming back from being broken."

"Good.  Well, not *good*," he offered.  "What were they about?"

"Another kidnaping," Danny told him.  "Flashbacks to the cult."  He stroked over Xander's hair.  "He said he's hiding until he's pretty again."

"That's reasonable."  He sat down, stroking over Xander's hair himself.  "Have you heard anything about someone going after a lot of GHS?"

"I've heard we've had two disappear.  One up in Virginia, rural Virginia.  Lower than Richmond.  One out of Baltimore if I remember right.  One's son died at the Naval Academy and Tony's team had that but I'm not sure if Tony worked it or not."  Horatio nodded. "I can call and ask."

"If you could.  That way we can help you protect yourself."

"Why come after Tony?  Unless it's someone like his director?"

"We don't know yet.  We're waiting on the call.  When we do get it, we'll conference you in on my end.  All right?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  For now, Speed put cars on the house.  We want you to stay inside today."

"Oh, Jorge's back," Don said smugly.  "He came over to rant earlier and complimented Xander on the house."

"Good to know.  Would he possibly know or have heard?"

Danny shrugged.  "If not, he'd know who to ask."

"Then I'll pay him an unofficial visit."  He gave Xander another pet.  "Take a shower, it'll help reduce the last of the swelling and your hair could use it."

"After you're gone since I'm kinda naked."

Horatio smiled.  "Then I'll let you boys finish your rest.  Monday, boys?"  They nodded they'd be back to work then barring this being a major issue.  "Thank you.  It has been a  bit boring today.  Only one new case."  He left, going down toward Mala Noche territory.  He found their new outpost and parked, getting out and leaning on his hood, sunglasses firmly on.  "Boys."  They sneered at him.  "I would like to speak to Jorge unofficially about something Xander's heard.  Something about a threat to him."  One walked off calling.  "We can meet somewhere neutral or here.  Either one."

"No vest?  I'm shocked," a male voice said from behind him.

Horatio looked back.  "I'm not here to arrest.  If I was, I would've come with more officers."  He looked at the one on the phone, getting a nod.  "When and where?"

"What makes you think you'll live that long, pig?" the guy behind him asked.  He found himself with Horatio's gun in his face a second later.  "Huh, you're fast, Red.  Got the temper from the hair?" he sneered.

"No.  I don't.  Never have."  He cocked it.  "Back down, now.  I'm not here for you this time."  He backed up, hands held away from his body.  Horatio lowered his gun and looked at the other guy.  "When and where?"

"He said he was wondering why cops were sitting on Xander's house."  He came back over.  "What's going on?  He wanted to know."

"There's a serial killer we think is targeting GHS around one that Xander's close to.  We think he's a target."

The guy said that in Portuguese then nodded.  He hung up.  "He said she's still in DC and she's a puny bitch.  Been pretending to be a janitor and things.  Said the guys on that team are slow.  She's been leaving clues now for weeks."

"Harmless things like birth control pills and condoms.  They misinterpreted it as someone was interested in him.  Do we know who?"

"Not by name.  Said she's just as red as you are only she has the temper."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Said there's a major brain conference up there right now as well."

"He's in DC?"  That meant he had only stopped in on layover to see Xander earlier that morning.

He nodded.  "Yeah.  He's up making a few contacts happy.  Said he'd let the brains handle it since the one boy, Tony, was seriously pissed now.  Like kicking the wall pissed.  Oh, and the dragon went to work with them earlier.  Bit someone he found doing coke.  Need anything else?"

"No, just that.  If she comes this way?"

"You'll hear.  You might get a present but you'll hear.  He said the vengeance up there is strong enough to waken old blood."

"Thank you."  He got into the hummer and went back to the scene, taking his phone from Speed before heading back to Xander's house.  "Tony, put me on with the brain conference Jorge told me about," he ordered as he walked in the kitchen.  "He's up there.  Who did Hubert bite for doing coke in the office?"  He smiled, attaching the external speaker from the office and carrying it back to the bedroom.  "All right, we're here and I just talked to some of the Mala Noche since one of their lieutenants likes Xander like a little brother."  Xander leaned out of the bathroom.  "I talked to Jorge by interpreter."

"Is he up here?" Greg demanded.

"Making some contacts happy."

"Wonderful," Gibbs said blandly.  "And?"

"Redhead, female.  Said the vengeance was strong enough to wake some old blood."

"No, if she was going to vengeance demons I'd know," Xander said.  "One would've shown up here already.  They work instantly, not long term that way."  He found his bathrobe and a towel, coming out.  "I can let the conditioner sit."  He curled up beside Don.   "What else did they say?"

"Redhead with the temper that usually's associated.  Very strong vengeance streak.  Mad at Tony and you possibly.  He did say she's still up there.  She's been pretending to be a janitor to leave the messages and she's been doing it for weeks.  He thought you guys were being slow figuring it out."

"It was inconsistent with the later photos," Reed said.  "So it is their former director.  How far would she go, Gibbs?"

"She's changed since I trained her, guys."

"She's snapped," Morgan agreed.  "You know, I was thinking.  We've found crime scene photos from eight cases.  Only one body.  Some of those were messy enough to get attention.  News level attention."

"Six were in Baltimore or Virginia.  We'd have heard," Gibbs said.  He dialed something, they could hear the beeps.  "Abby, compare those photos to other crime scene photos in our database.  We think she put heads on the bodies."  He listened then nodded.  "Abby and Greg said they photoshopped."  He hung up.  "So where are they?"

"Gibbs, duh," Don said dryly.  "What did she do to Xander and try to do to Greg?"

"She sold them?" Reed asked. "You think?"

"Pretty certain," Gideon said calmly.  "That would fit her prior actions.  That would get Tony back.  The one she did kill probably fought back."

"She was a first degree black belt in Judo," Tony told them.  "Yeah, she would've fought back."

"Jorge said you were so pissed you were kicking walls.  He told me how Hubert bit someone for doing coke in the office," Horatio told him.

"Aw, shit, he's after an agent," Tony moaned.  "Any idea?"

"He said making contacts happy."

"They have Gibbs on their hitlist," Xander said quietly.  "And a few others.  When I heard, I emailed them to Greg."

"Greg has a possible list," Horatio said less quietly.  "Including you, Gibbs.  We do know he said she's still up there.  He said if she came this way I'd be getting a present."

"Not a pretty one I'm sure," Danny told them.  "You guys need help?"

"Nope," Gibbs told him.  "Keep your boy safe.  We'll let Epps know since his brother was involved."

"Why?  He's not one of us," Xander said.  "That I know of."

"He did some math for the group and his brother knows now.  She could think he is and that it ruined him," Reed told him.  "Are you okay, Xander?"

"I'm fine.  I'm nearly better now.  Thank you for asking, Agent Reed."

"You're welcome."  He smiled it sounded like.  "We'll let you guys rest.  Since she's up here we can do a manhunt."

"The Mala Noches down here work with the Crypts a lot recently," Xander told them, leaning forward.  "They've been doing some deals with them.  Plus a few of the smaller, less regionally sponsored gangs.  The ones that may be only in one city at the moment but they don't have the same sort of cause that started the Mala movement."

"You know why they were started?" Don asked.

"Jorge explained it to us when I asked.  He said the civil wars, guerilla wars, and all that shitload of bad karma and torture down there spawned a lot of that stuff.  They're built on pain and blood, both revolutionary and not.  He said that the Noches were started by people who were peasants caught in the middle of a guerilla war who had no idea what was going on or wanted to take part in it.  Then both sides came in, raped their women, killed their families, and the younger guys snapped.  They sent a lot of their profits back to their homes to protect their people.  Even if I don't like their methods, I understand why they formed."

"That's what we've heard as well," Derek admitted.  "So why work with the single city gangs?"

"Consolidating?  Allies are good in any city and those sort of gangs would've be part of any rivalry that would piss off others, would they?" Xander asked.  "Angst and payback free allies."

"That's a good point," Horatio admitted.  "They're also usually looking to expand.  With a very tough gang like that affiliated they'd be able to get more power and more bargaining chips for whatever deals they were making, even if it's only for turf at the moment."

"Those sort wouldn't be caught by agents," Don said.  "Especially not Gibbs and them."

"We have a few gang members in the military," Gibbs told him.

"And you have some that've went there after they got discharged.  Battle at home when they can't anywhere else.  Making sure that they're keeping the homeland safe.  There's been a few eager 'homeland protecting' groups that've taken up where the Klan and them stopped," Tony said quietly.  "We tangled with one last month, Gibbs.  They aren't usually pro immigrant but if they wanted to align to someone like the Mala Noche it'd be for supplies and so they could feel like they were destroying them from the inside out.  They told you to your face that us busting them was destroying their good work and the US would fall."

"How would we find who she's selling them to?" Reed asked.  "She can't get her old position or status back."

"No but she can use them as bargaining chips and if she can use them to lure a major evil out and then capture them, she can get a position back and work to climb back up," Horatio told him.

"We've seen bad cops doing it in the past," Don agreed.  "My dad came up with one.  He was dirty as they came back in the old days, but he helped Dad with all his rescue work and kept getting promoted."

"The same as you overlook Superman's violent tendencies but if you find a normal guy doing it you call him a vigilante," Xander agreed.

"Who was she focused on?" Gideon asked.

"La Granouille.  Arms dealer out of France," Gibbs told him.  "Tried to get Tony to go undercover for her but too many people know him."

"That always hit me as personal," Tony told them.  "This is more professional feeling for some reason.  She could go higher.  There's people she can bribe higher up the chain with one of us.  Hell if she had gotten me there's a few people in Asia and one in Africa who'd give his soul for me."  Gibbs moaned at that.  "Sorry, boss, but yeah, they want my tight ass.  The one in Africa has since I was playing ball.  He makes a feint every now and then."

"Is he on the commonly seen names list?" Reed asked.

"Yup, near the bottom.  From Egypt."  He hummed and shifted, you could hear him through the phone.  "All right, she's clearly working out of my phone book and whoever her contacts were before.  We know she worked in Europe and with the Mossad.  She tried to force a Mossad agent onto our team for training."

"She was nice enough," Kate offered.  "Kinda uptight and linked to the person who wanted to kill us all, especially Gibbs.  She was going to sell Greg to someone in the Middle East."

"Mossad knows about us," Tony admitted.  "They have one who's a former keeper.  He got dumped a few years back by his girlfriend, a level three.  She was in ..  I wanna say Pensacola.  We knew he reported back to his bosses because they rounded up theirs and stuck them under watch for about a year.  When an illegal contact told them why we're like this they backed off but any members over there are kept under governmental watch in case they disappear or are used as currency."  He shifted again.  "Would she go arms dealer or not, Gibbs?"

"With this many of you she could be working her way up," Gibbs admitted.  "Could she be working with someone?  Like someone in the CIA?"

Gideon coughed.  "If she were, they'd be in deep trouble for human trafficking.  Even those who believe winning at any cost is the goal wouldn't allow that."

"She could justify it.  After all, we do have the retrieval squad," Tony told him.  "They're all Special Forces."

"They're about to get my foot up their asses," Xander said.  "You know, I got a sudden offer from an former Mossad guy who now deals in weapons the other day?"

"Odd timing," Tony said.

"That's why I'm mentioning it."

"You're wearing a GPS chip when you go," Danny ordered.  "And taking one of us."

"Of course I am and no.  He said I can't bring anyone.  He said he's not either.  We're meeting at the airport."  He grimaced.  "Then again, I've got the Customs thingy hanging over my head still now and then.  They still give me dirty looks when I try to leave for anywhere that needs a passport."

"You are not to go alone, Xander," Horatio said.  Xander gave him a look then gave a pointed one at his sword then back.  "I don't care.  Even that sort."

"Was it our sort or not?" Don asked in his ear.

Xander looked at him.  "He wasn't threatening in any way.  He said he wanted to hook me into his network based on mutual contacts.  I checked the ones on this end and they seemed legit.  Andrea mentioned me to him a lot."  That got a small moan from Danny.  "She knew I was bragging about my newest handgun.  We got into some weapons talks. She agreed, me having weapons kept my ass here in Miami instead of elsewhere.  She set me up with two other contacts but they had higher tech stuff than I wanted.  They're still looking for me and one of them vouched for this guy too."

"I would still rather not have you go alone," Horatio told him.

Xander kissed him on the cheek. "If I can make Ryan invisible I'll bring him."

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "Jaw feeling better?"

"Much. The shower worked very well."  He looked at the phone.  "Do we think she's sicced someone on me?  Is she using them to buy information and handing over their bodies or just handing over their addresses?"

"She's been photoshopping crime scene photos," Tony told him.  "That takes preplanning.  Though, have we noticed they're all white and male outside of Em?"  That got a muted noise from the other end.  "Now what?"

"Now, you get onto the website and into the local forum to warn people.  See who's missing, see if you can get Paul onto them.  If we find anything we'll pass it onto him," Gibbs ordered.

"On it, boss."  He left, a door slammed.

"Boys, I want you to stay home.  Xander, I don't like the sound of this arms dealer.  Do we know him?"

"Moret?"

"Oh, we know him," Fornell said grimly.  "Major asshole who joined an anti-gay protest in his country if I remembered right."

"To those sort, GHS are doing whatever they can until a rightful pet owner adopts," Xander said dryly.  "They figure any dick in a storm, Fornell."

"You know me?"

"Yeah I know you.  Dumbass."  He shook his head.  "Anyway.  We'll be fine.  Should I call Don to tell him not to worry so much about Charlie?"

"No, we'll do that," Gibbs told him.  "You feel better, boys.  Hubert's been sucking up affection by cuddling and demanding petting from whoever was upset at the time."  He hung up and looked at his people.  "Xander knows a lot of people who aren't sure how.  We don't know how."

"How is she getting in even as a janitor?" Hotchner asked.  "I know ours was checked."

"Fake ID," Reed said, grimacing some.  "She's used to covert work."

"Let's start a quiet manhunt for her," the present director ordered.  "No letting it out to the press.  Alert all agencies she's armed, dangerous, and a former covert agent."

"If she's working with another agency, they'll tell her," Gibbs pointed out.  "I'd rather leave it as our two agencies.  After all, Fornell knows his office.  We know ours."  That got a nod.  "She's our problem anyway."  He stood up.  "Let me put that out.  Fornell?"  He nodded.  He walked out.  "Cynthia, call a team leader meeting immediately.  All of them are to meet me in the conference room as soon as they hear from you.  We're on a manhunt.  A quiet manhunt."  She nodded, making the conference call while he walked that way.  People came running in.  "We found McGee's stalker," he announced when the last one walked in.  "We have proof she's selling human beings to other countries for information.  We also think she may be working with other agencies.  We know she has planted evidence of horrific crimes in McGee's desk this last time, all but one photoshopped from our casefiles.  We're working on finding them but for now we have to find the former Director, Jen Sheppard."  That got some gasps of horror.  "We know she's sold at least seven people."  Tony walked in. "Seven?"

"Nine.  Two of the ones in North Carolina are unaccounted for and can't be found by their friends."   He closed the door.  "We know she is using their bodies and lives to buy information to try to get back in someone's good graces.  We know that there's a good chance all nine of those people are now dead.  Probably much more graphically than the pictures she left McGee of one of his friend's wives."  That got a few more shudders.  "She has disgraced this agency, she has disgraced the whole intelligence and law enforcement community.  We don't want her on the news and we don't want her to run.  We want to capture her even if she is working with someone somewhere in the NSA or CIA.  Got it?"  They all nodded.  "We want her by lunchtime if at all humanly possible so we can save those nine lives."  He handed Gibbs a sheet of paper.  "Also, there has been some Mala Noches hits announced recently.  Gibbs and two other local agents are on their hit list.  Find your people, warn them.  They do have a hitter in town as we found out earlier by contacting a friend in Florida."  They nodded, taking the list and two head agents stomped off to tell their people the bad news.  "Please, let's get her," he ordered.  He walked down the stairs.  "Probie, BOLO?"

"In place.  Reason why given.  Ordered to keep it quiet and call directly if contact is made.  I gave them ours and Fornell's number."

"Good.  Kate?"

"I called a friend at our Army counterpart.  They're doing the same thing.  I have her credit cards pulled up at the moment, no new activity in two days."  Tony nodded. "We'll get her."

"Is Greg still in the lab?"  She nodded.  "Abby?"

"Abby and Garcia went out to get new sodas," McGee said.  He called them, not getting an answer.  "She wasn't on the list."

"Like she gives a damn," Gibbs said as he came down the stairs.  "Have we gotten a 'hand him over or else' message yet?"  He checked his own email.  "DiNozzo?"

He checked his.  "Nothing."  He got into Greg's.  "Nothing on his.  McGee?"

"Logging in."  He came up.  "Yup.  You can have Abby and their pretty tech if you give her Greg."  He looked up.  "No mention of Tony but she said you can do without Greg."  He put it onto the main screen.

"I take it that's why we can't reach Garcia?" Gideon asked.

"Apparently they snuck out for sodas," Gibbs said with a small, frustrated sounding sigh at the end.  "When and where?"  McGee typed that back.

Tony stood up on his desk.  "As an update, she has taken Abby, out of the labs, and one of the FBI's senior computer techs hostage."  He hopped back down once he got horrified looks.

"Got her!" someone yelled.

"Bingo," Reed agreed, heading over to look.  "What's she using?"

"Her mother's credit cards and ID.  Here's her hotel room.  Here's where she was twenty minutes ago.  This is the car she rented," she said, handing over the information to Gibbs.  "Paddle her ass, please."

"Going to," Tony agreed happily, stabbing the button. "Last one down sits in the back of the car while *I* drive," he shouted.  Kate and McGee hurried after him, Gibbs barely making the elevator this time.   He called Greg.  "Stay.  Here.  She took Abby and Garcia.  Stay here."  He hung up and they went to handle this.  He made sure he had his vest on it and it was perfectly fitted to him.  Then he checked his weapons.  "Gotta stop in the trunk, boss."  He went to do that, taking out the spare clips he had, walking back over to get into the shotgun seat.  "Okay, I'm good."  He changed out for a full clip.  Kate gave him a look. "Rats last night. I used a silencer."  He grinned.  "They came in to nibble."

"Uh-huh," she said.  "You're scary, Tony."

"She stole my people, Kate.  She hasn't seen scary yet.  Especially if she thinks my hormones are going to stop me from getting her."  He stuffed his other clips into his pockets and made sure he was buckled up as they pulled out of the garage.

***

Don paced until he heard back. "Epps."  He smiled and relaxed.  "We did get them?  Who?  And why?"  He nodded slowly, sitting down in David's desk chair.  "You're joking.  Please tell me you're joking?"  He nodded, rubbing his forehead. "Yeah, I can have him, Larry, and their boss put into protective custody immediately.  Amita too since she's helped both of them.  Thanks, Gibbs."  He hung up.  "Megan, get the golden trio and Millie here, now.  When they found the person responsible for the threat against Charlie they found others willing to sell geniuses and other useable capitol to people for information.  He's still on the list."  She nodded, hurrying out.  He called.  "Drop what you're doing.  Grab Amita, Larry, and Millie, meet Megan.  Get your asses here."  He hung up and went back to pacing.  Colby stopped him by grabbing him.  "They found others who wanted to do it."

"Internal Affairs?"

"Working but slowly.  Right now we're working at the speed of Gibbs."  He gave him a look when he laughed.  "It's faster.  They're all on a list of offered people for information or useful trade.  Gibbs said the list goes back ten years."  He went back to pacing.  "He's not sure how many are involved yet but he doesn't know if there's any on this coast right now who'll snatch them up and take them anyway.  This is the problem with being a genius in a field that's useable.  People want to use you.  They think you're their personal spout of information and ideas."

"We do the same thing," Colby pointed out.

"No, I tried to get Charlie to quit and he wouldn't.  He offered and he demanded.  We didn't buy him, we don't force him.  We do occasionally beg him and he caves in, but nothing like this."  He waved a hand.  "If we had a target I'd go hunt it down."

"Half an hour to the college then back," David said calmly.  "I've alerted the security people at the college that there's a threat against certain professors' lives.  That we knew three or four and we were taking them into custody.  As we heard more we'd warn them but to be on the lookout for people trying to take professors or really gifted students."  Don nodded at that, but he didn't look any happier.  "They'll be fine, Don."

"I know they will because I'll kill someone if they're not," he promised.  "How in the hell can our own people do this!"

"They think it's the only way," Colby told him.  "Winning at any cost, like undercover agents being lost."  Don grimaced but nodded.  "How many of them are like that one guy you told us about?"

"Many.  That's what she started out using. Then she faked crime scene photos and planted them in McGee's desk.  She went from birth control to that."  He rubbed his forehead again.  "This is waiting I don't like.  I should've went."

"You would've crashed the car," David said patiently.  "They'll call once Megan has them."  He got into the system.  "Have we had other geniuses go missing?"  He did a keyword search under profession and description fields.  "I'll be damned.  We have three open cases of geniuses in biology that've gone missing."

"Organic like could build bioweapons?" Don demanded, coming over to look.  "Two are.  What's the other's field?"

"Looks like sealife."

Don frowned.  "Sealife?  They needed a genius to take over their fishtank?"

"Some of the best toxins known to mankind come from natural sources," Don's father said from the end of their pod.  "I came for lunch.  You're pacing.  Where's your brother?"

"On his way here because there's a list of offered geniuses that some corrupt agents are selling for information."

"Good!  Okay.  Do we know who?"

"We're having the DC office working on it. They told us this morning one of their agents has a stalker and among the many pictures she put onto McGee's computer was Charlie's," Colby told him.  "So we warned him earlier since they were pretty sure she was still in DC and he refused to not teach today."

"I sat an agent at the college," Don admitted. "Now I don't know if I can trust him or not."

"There can't be more than a few of them," Alan said calmly, looking at his son.  "If this was that widespread, they'd have come after Charlie before."

"They had pictures of his campus, Dad.  And of him."

"So they're sick," he agreed.  "Who's in charge?"

"NCIS and the FBI out there.  The behavioral analysis people are into it too since they were brought in to profile the stalker.  Turns out to be their former director."

"Trying to win back friends and her old job by pulling someone great in?"  They all nodded.  "I doubt you boys or others would trust her."

"She tried to sell someone from her own agency," Don told him.  "No, they won't."  He went back to pacing.  "You can wait with us, Dad."

"Of course I will."  He stopped his other son.  "Charlie will be fine and so will the others.  If someone's that stupid we'll get him back.  They won't torture guys like Charlie.  It means they don't work for their new keepers."

Don nodded.  "Good point.  We'd have time to get him back as long as we were subtle about it."

"Exactly.  So less pacing before they make you replace the carpet.  Because I remember the last time you tried to help me replace the carpet at the house."  Don nodded, grinning a bit.  His phone rang so he jumped over to get it.

"Yeah, Epps."  He smiled.  "Good.  Tell her to quit arguing and get in the car.  Because your names were on a list of scientists up for sale for information, Charlie."  Charlie told that to Millie and she quit complaining.  "David found three biologists who're open cases.  We want you four here."  He hung up.  "Megan has them.  Millie's no longer complaining.  Megan had the agent stay on campus after giving him the quick briefing on the way to grab them from Larry's office."  He sat down, looking at his dad.  "It's not just scientists."

"Of course not.  Some people couldn't use someone like Charlie.  Some want someone for revenge and some want certain people for pleasure."  Don nodded.  "They arrested her?"

"Charged her with human trafficking, treason, and a few charges related to the stalking, plus the homicide we know she did," Don agreed.

"That was some good interdepartmental cooperation," Colby said, sitting in his chair.  David nodded.  "BAU, FBI, and NCIS.  The hardest team at NCIS at that.  They drive us nuts," he told Alan.  "BAU are good.  The profilers are pretty decent folks on the team they had.  They work with you, only give you dirty looks when you say something stupid.  The problem is that there's five teams.  The others...."

"Are  pompous asses with a degree?" Alan suggested.  "Charlie runs into those now and then.  He was complaining about a new one in the department the other day."

"That NCIS team is headed by a Marine, Dad.  He drives other agencies off their cases so he doesn't have to deal with bureaucratic bs.  When I was working out of the DC office, there were whole floors who sent you flowers if you got a case with Gibbs because he'd run you over, take over for you so he didn't have to put up with crap, then do the case right and hand you the reports.  Well, his second-in-command would hand you the reports.  They've got the agency's highest solve rate though and they're damn good at what they do."

"Sounds like a bastard," David said.

Don looked at him.  "He told an agent that's what the second 'b' in his name was for."  David snickered.  "Gave him this dry look too.  Turned the rookie agent into a crying puddle for trying to do things by the book when it wasn't a situation that it was a good option in.  He knows better now.  He's a decent agent now.  Edgerton's the only one I've ever seen snort at him and walk away smirking when he gave an order.  His people don't even get to apologize."  His father gave him an odd look.  "It's a sign of weakness.  They have a 'won't do it again, boss' statement for that."

"Sounds like a bastard," Alan agreed.

"If you're not working with him he's okay," Don admitted. "He was at the same convention I was getting briefed."  He looked at David.  "If they have to come out here...."

"We'll let you liaison," Colby assured him with a smirk.  "Not a problem there, Don."

"Just live up to his expectations," Don told them.  Megan and the others came off the elevators.  "Ran the lights?"

"Yeah," she admitted.  "Someone tried to shoot at the car.  Since I know they work on the eighth floor I wasn't going to take any chances.  I had CHP stop their asses and bring them in."  She sat down.  "Any new news?"

"David found a few in the system."

Millie pointed.  "Can I see?  I might know some."  He nodded, letting her see the names.  "Hmm.  He's working on algae and that level of sealife.  Those two I don't know."

Larry looked over her shoulder.  "The top two were in a journal the other month.  What as it?"  His finger tapped his lip while he thought.

"Were they the two doing particle extraction or not?" Charlie asked.

"No, the other set.  The issue before that one."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "They were working on cross pollination of some species of plants and how to strengthen some dying species that way possibly.  To make them more disease resistant.  Not down to the gene tampering level but breeding.  They had a geneticist on with them though.  They were reporting preliminary findings."

"Yes, them," Larry agreed, looking around.  "I'm on another one?"  Don nodded.  "Why?"

"This one goes back as far as ten years," Don told him.

"Then maybe it's the same one."  He shrugged.  "They tried the last time and Charles managed to save me by calling me for coffee when I almost walked into their recruiting trap."

"I've seen a few hunters on campus again," Charlie admitted.  Don and his father both stared.  Colby gaped.  He shrugged.  "There's always people who want us to use what we know to make their version of a better society."  Amita shuddered.  "She got approached by someone who wanted her to work on nuclear power issues recently.  Some pay, some won't pay or can't pay, and some know we'll have ethical issues so the only way they get the geniuses they need is to steal or buy them."

"If we have the list, we can call people we know and let them know," Millie offered.  "That way they can be a bit protective of themselves."  The FBI agents looked at each other then Don nodded.  David handed it over from the fax machine.  "I know a good few of those names."

"I'll take Herman first," Larry said.

Charlie looked.  "I'll take the Pie house."  He went to do that.

"Pie house?"

"It's a few math and physics geniuses who live together," Millie told him.  "They're east coast though."

Charlie smiled when he got an answer.  "Darren?  Charlie Epps.  No, not that sort of problem.  Hunters sort of problem.  There's a new buy list, this one's about ten years of wanting to current times."  He took it.  "I'm seeing you, most of the house but her, and I'm seeing Dauella's mentor on here too.  Yeah, him."  He nodded.  "Please.  Yeah, spread it around.  You do?"  He marked a name.  "Thanks.  Yeah, we know a few biologists are missing."

"The DC office is finding them," Don called.

"The DC office of the FBI is finding them.  I'm at my brother's office.  Sure.  We're here if you need us, Darren.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "One other missing one."  He finished writing down her name then marked some of the names off.  "They're warned."

"I can't find Herman," Larry said, putting a star beside his.  He moved onto his next target.  Amita got a few of the ones she knew by email to warn them.  Millie sat down at a free desk to call the ones she knew too.  They ended up with seven names of missing people in their fields and a few associated ones.  Amita added the last one when her friend, who was always online, didn't answer back.  She put a question mark next to her but it was likely in her mind.  Don looked at her.

"She's always online.  Even during classes she's online.  She's the sort to answer an email the minute it gets in.  If it's been over an hour, she's not there."

He nodded, writing that down.  "What fields, guys?"  They wrote down their fields and specialities so he called Fornell.  "Hey, it's Epps in LA's office.  Thanks to the list I talked to my brother and some of his coworkers.  Yeah, heard that from Megan.  She's dealing with them with David at the moment.  We came up with seven probably missing scientists that they know and contacted the rest of the list.  I can do that."  He hung up and faxed it to the number he gave him.  "Let's hope we can find them soon."

"You will," Charlie promised.  "We'll get the bastards who sold them to break."  That got a nod and Don went to help Megan so he could wear out some stress.  Charlie grinned at his dad.  "Lunch?"

"That's what I came for."  They headed for the break room with the other scientists.  Though Amita did get pulled over to one desk to help another team with their current issue.  She had ways of making information make sense without being highbrow and lecturing like Charlie did.

Family Trees of Destruction

Xander smiled at the man there to meet him for lunch, handing him an envelope.  "I know you've heard from Tony to see if any of your contacts had anything."

Paul sat down and figured out what he wanted for lunch.  "I don't know if we could do that since we're under contract for the society, Xander."

Xander smiled sweetly.  "And you know how many who aren't?"

"That's a point but the FBI want it to get their honor back."  The waiter came by and he smiled.  "The green plate please?  Tea, unsweetened."  He nodded. "Xander?"  He held up his fork.  "Thank you."  The waiter took his menu and left, coming back a few minutes later with his salad.  Paul ate a bite then nodded.  "I never get sit down lunches unless it's a problem."

Xander snickered.  "I'm either cooking or brining lunch to the station when I get them."  He ate another bite.  "How many are they going to be able to get?  I've heard they have at least eighteen, in and out of the society."

"They'll be doing good to find six of them," he said.  "Another few I know are gone.  We've shared what we could."

"The others don't deserve that.  It's not right that I sit on my ass when I can help."

Paul ate a bite, thinking while he chewed.  "That's a good point.  You know that's illegal, right?"

"Hiring private contractors to rescue a kidnaped person?"

"Ethically gray if the FBI thinks they can do it."

"Can we talk with them?"

"Fornell listened and he admitted that they'd be lucky to get the six they know the location of.  I gave him everything my contacts had."

"And you found how many?"

"All eighteen."  He stared at him.  "Some of them are in politically sensitive areas."

"This may sound cliche but they don't have that problem with some covert strike teams on tv."  Paul laughed but nodded that was true.  "And neither do you guys.  Plus, hey, if Soshar needed more guys when you retire, they can look at it as an interview."

"There is that," he agreed, taking a bite.  He considered it, then he texted someone.  He got back a 'if you know someone, have them go' agreement.  He put his phone back.  "Let me call around.  You know they're not inexpensive, right?"

"That envelope has a cashier's check for three million.  I'll add more if you need it or I'll hit Vegas if Don gives me shit."

Paul stared at him.  "The scientists aren't being mistreated or they won't work."

"Breaking them works the same as breaking us, Paul.  It's still not right."

"Good point."  He considered it.  "I know a few people.  I don't think Gibbs or Fornell would mind much, as long as we weren't going for the same targets."

"Like you said, they might be able to get six."

"We're trying a prisoner exchange with a few countries."

Xander snorted.  "That's nice, what about the others?  Our people?"

"I know.  Two of them are easier to get to.  They're trying."

"Yeah, and they'll fail at least one of them."

Paul  nodded.  "True.  They've already failed one."  He finished his salad, leaning on the table.  "You sure you want to do this, Xander?  It could draw attention to you."

"The name on the check isn't mine.   I had them put it into Steve's name."  He smirked at that.  "It's a slight ruse but Steve agreed to it.  Miss Gold at the bank wanted to know why so I told her it was to rescue a few of us.  Which it is, and the others they have."

"I'll put it around, Xander.  See who I can talk to."  Xander nodded.  "You know, you're not the only one who this happens to."

"No but I'm the one who's most likely to disappear and never be heard from again with who some of mine are."

"Good point.  We all panicked when we couldn't find you during the time in New York."

"The battle ring taught me a lot, Paul.  Including how to savor what I had.  I was doing it before but that cemented what I already knew.  Get them back however.  Even if we have to take one of theirs."

"That's a bad idea, Xander."

Xander shrugged but nodded.  "That's why I'm not planning it."  He smiled. "Not like they're going to need us to wage a battle.  If we do, I'm there."

"I know you are."  He patted him on the hand.  "Are you feeling better?"

"I'm fully cleared, had a lot of cuddles.  Ryan promised to go out with me and the boys tonight to the club.  I still have to get Hubert back from Tony and Greg though."

"I'll tell them you're better when I see them tonight."

"Any others?"

"No, this cleared up a few of the most recent missing ones.  The other one was the pretty standard snatch and grab thing for someone in Central America who thinks he's a warlord."

"Those sort I seriously want to introduce to Sunnydale," he said.

Paul laughed.  "Don't tempt me, Xander.  Though, them as vampires would be a bad thing."

"Well, yeah but easy enough to deal with."  He gave him a look.  "Speaking of, my contact this afternoon.  Do we know him too?"

"I've heard of him.  He's an asshole and anti-gay."  He shrugged.  "Money is money to his sort."  Xander nodded.  "You could charm someone like Soshar's older brother."

"He'd get mad at me.  He sent me an email warning me not to."

"Good point.  You okay otherwise?"

"I'm fine.  Ryan's going with me this afternoon even if he doesn't like it."  The guy laughed.  "Go, play.  Let me pay for lunch."  He nodded, taking the envelope with him.  Xander paid the check and stood up, heading off, leaving a nice tip for the absent waiter.

The waiter came back, smiling at the hundred dollar bill.  The guy had said he needed privacy.  The Fed in the corner had told him it was okay and given him three hundred for it.  That was good enough for him.

***

Paul got off the private plane and looked at the man meeting him.  "Xander's pulling a move."

"Why?" Gibbs asked.

"He doesn't want any of them left there."

"Neither do we.  It's still not practical or able to be done for a few of them."

"For official people."  Gibbs stared at him.  "Think we can find a team?"

"I know a team.  How much did he give you?"

"Three.  Cashier's check in Steve's name."

"Hmm."  He looked at it then nodded.  "We have a team."  He handed it back.  "Hold that before I get it dirty."  They walked off together.  "Any good news?"

"He's got a meeting this afternoon with someone about some weapons.  We'll have to see how it goes."  He smiled at Tony when they ran into him.  "Hey."  He gave him a hug.  "How's the planning going?"

"We've freed the two here in the US.  We've got another four we can get to easily.  The others are political nightmares we were told.  "I've got a quarter of a mil in my retirement fund, Paul.  Would it help?"

"Xander donated three."

"That is one benefit of him playing poker," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "Have them start on the hard end of the list?"

"That's the idea," Paul agreed.  "I even had a nice sit down lunch."

Tony snickered.  "We run you ragged, you poor man."

"That's why the woman wants me to retire."  He nodded at Soshar.  "Update?"

"Adam offered another four if Xander's three wasn't enough.  So did Pauline and Hershal."  That got a nod.  "They're pissed.  Their son's on the list for his genetics work and they're on the list because of who they are.  Someone came recruiting their son at his work."

"We'll handle it," Paul said, clapping him on the back.  "Let's go see what the bigger heads think."  That got a nod and they headed to meet to talk about that idea.  It would be the only way to get some of them back.  There's no way the Army or the FBI could send people to Iran or Syria right now.  He made a call on the way.  "It's Paul.  I may have a need for a quiet team."  He smiled.  "Lots of us and nerds stolen, big guy.  Yeah.  Paid.  Private.  They don't care as long as they get back.  The FBI has some, some are in difficult places."  He snickered.  "Exactly.  Gibbs has a team in mind too.  We've got at least eighteen, they're saying they can get six.  We've gotten two from the US and know one's dead.  Exactly.  Call me in a few hours once  you've talked to them.  If not, Gibbs has an idea too.  Thanks, Major."  He hung up and got comfortable, looking over at Gibbs, who was smirking.  "They do covert retrieval work on the 'I don't know you if you get caught' basis."

"I've heard of them.  I was going to call their gun person."   That got a smirk.  "Who is Xander meeting with?"

"The bigot.  He's taking Wolfe.  I want to take him to the bazaar and drop him in the middle of it, watch him enslave them all, pick what he wants, then let him walk off so they start fighting over who's sending him the better presents."

Tony snickered.  "Don't tempt him.  You know he would."

"I know.  Xander's back in crisis mode.  I feel so sorry for the poor arms dealer if the guy tries to upset him today.  No one deserves Xander as he was in his past life."

"Oh, I don't know," Tony said dryly.  "It keeps the Initiative guys out of my hair." Gibbs swatted him.  "It does.   Kate's too.  She threatened a sneering one with him the other day.  He walked off like a kicked puppy.  Quit getting in Greg's face because we're gay too.  For some reason they won't try me."

"I've stopped two from thinking about it," Gibbs told him, giving him a look.

"We'll end up back to back fighting then," Tony decided.  "You know, McGee has geek love over Garcia, right?"

"Oh, that's beautiful," Paul said with an evil grin.  "Are you helping?"

"Well, I did send them text messages from the other's phone and flowers.  They talked and she told Abby to spank me but she loved the flowers.  McGee blushed all day.  They have a date tonight."

"I could've sworn we have a case open," Gibbs said dryly.

"Aww, boss, let him go on his date," he complained.  "Greg and I can fill in for him.  We have all day since he's been having dirty fantasies."

"Don't remind me.  Every time he gets too involved his knee hits his pen drawer.  Startles Greg, who nearly spills his coffee and squeaks, and startles Kate who growls at him.  Then  you laugh and I have to get you all working again."

"But it's *cute*," he cooed.

"So's Hubert and his daddy's  pouting," Paul told him.

"Abby's going to try to take the dragon."

"Abby can travel to wherever Xander learned how to dance and get her own," Paul said dryly.  "The last time Xander went on a full-out pout he stopped traffic in Miami and there were annoying little starlets who wanted to make it all better.  Though they said they weren't gay.  Just trying to help out their fellow man."  They shared a look.  "Then he got more presents and it pissed off Horatio, who got to go evil when he had to arrest three of them.  Xander hates it when we turn him into a princess but if he does that again we'll have to."

"Point.  I'll try to get it away from her.  He's in the lab today.  She's trying to figure out if we have a species for him on this planet."

"Only in mythology," Gibbs said dryly.  "Before she can ask, no she can't go on a mystical road trip with Xander and Wolfe.  They might warp her further."

"I don't know.  Greg apparently got them taken by someone because a lord or someone's daughter was flirting with his horse.  They nearly ended up married.  Of course, time ran differently there.  That's where the princess came from."

Tony moaned.   "Oh, God."

"Yeah.  Her daddy was going to kill her for not being able to be married by a suitable age.  Looked back on him to not marry off his daughter.  That's how the boys ended up with her for saving someone's life."  Tony snickered.  "When they were taken together, Horatio won one in a card game.  He politely handed her back.  Abby might get along well and keep them from getting women."

"No she won't.  She'll lecture the men trying to give them away."

"She'd have to spend the whole time on a horse."

"She'd hate that probably."  Gibbs mentally sighed in relief.  He could talk her out of it.  They parked at NCIS and got out, heading inside.

Abby saw Paul and hugged Hubert.  "No.  You can't have him."

"You make Xander pout, you go deal with the little annoying hollywood brats who tried to take him this time.  Horatio said so."  She pouted.  "His stopped traffic, Abby.  No."

"Fine," she pouted, cuddling the dragon.  "I'll miss you."  The dragon nuzzled her.  "The next time we're nearby we'll stop in to pet you."  He huffed in her ear then gave her a gentle lick to the cheek, wiggling down and over to Paul, staring up at him.

"I'll make sure you get back tonight, Hubert."  The dragon steamed and followed him to the elevator.  She was probably pouting and hugging her farting hippo but her pout was less than Xander's pout and he had to keep Xander from being taken again.  They walked into the meeting room.  "Had to get him back for Xander since they're better."

"Don't tell Garcia that.  She'll storm Miami to get him back," McGee said.

"I won't."  He sat down and Hubert climbed up, letting him pet him.  "Okay.  What do we have new?"

"They won't do the exchange," Fornell said.  "The State Department said they basically laughed and said they're citizens now."  He looked at the list.  "That leaves us with option B, a quiet strike team of volunteer agents."

"Harris is willing to pay," Paul admitted.  Fornell gaped at him.  "I know a quiet team who does the 'we don't know you but we give you jobs' schtick with someone here in town.  They know others who do it too."

"How much?"

"Three mil.  We have an offer of up to four more because hunters are still looking at someone's son."

"We don't know who they are?"

Soshar smiled sweetly.  "Of course we do but the people wouldn't arrest them."

"Crap, them," Fornell muttered.  "Will we end up short?"

"Probably shouldn't be.  Usual fees are expenses and about fifty grand when we have to hire a team."  Vesvold appeared.  "Xander okay?"

"He's fine.  The guy complained about Ryan until Xander pointed out he had the mumps last week.  The guy challenged him and fell to his knees during it to try to suck him off.  He's taking Xander to the bazaar."  He took the dragon, taking him to his daddy.  Xander cooed and cuddled him, making him a happy dragon.  He disappeared again.  He was still working to free the two scientists his sort had.  He was hoping to be able to deliver one tonight and the other next week sometime.  Even if he did have to send in a strike team to stop the foulness that was Wolfram and Hart.

***

Don Epps walked into a bar, nodding at the cute bartender in short shorts and rollerblades.  "The Major?"

"Office."  She pointed.  "He's pouting."

"I think I have something that'll make him happier."  He walked up there, tapping on the door before walking in.  "Epps, FBI."

"We're being busted?" he asked dryly.

He put down files and then the money Paul had couriered to him the night before.  "The FBI cannot get them.  It's you guys or they're hiring mercenaries.  Paul said he'd rather not but right now he had two people taken from the same city he was in last night so he couldn't come out himself."

"How do you know about this stuff?"

"My little brother is Charlie Epps, math genius that works at Cal Sci. We got the list and him, his best friend, his girlfriend, and his boss were all on.  They knew everyone but two on the list.  Those two were people like Paul deals with."

He nodded.  "How bad?"

"Three are in Iran.  One's in Syria. Two are in Russia.  One of the dead ones was also there.  We lost another one in Central America last night."

"Who's paying?"

"A few of the people in Paul's group that he protects."

"Hmm."  He looked at the checks.  "Steve Ellison?"

"The money person for one of them.  That one came from Mr. Harris, down in Miami."

He sat up, staring at him.  "The one from Sunnydale?"

"Ended up being a level ten and is embedded into the family of the lab down there since he's dating a detective and a CSI."

"The one who walked into the weapon's bazaar last night, had to beat one person off his pet, then two more for touching his hair, but now they're considering him like a Godling?"

"Probably," he admitted with a small grin.  "He has weapons so they don't take him as often.  An arms dealer was with him?"

"Moret."

"Yeah.  He was meeting with him thanks to some contacts.  Caine's going to paddle him again when he gets back."  He smirked.  "He had this nasty habit of playing poker with the thugs and mobsters down there.  He was winning to keep them from having money to import new drugs or carry off plans.  He made a good portion of the underground's money in the last few years."

The Major moaned, shaking his head.  "The other?"

"The mother's GHS, the son's a geneticist and there's still people after them because our Internal Affairs doesn't want to arrest in another agency," he said quietly.  "Their son got taken last night but they stopped him on layover in New York.  He nearly died.  We've had one die when they were taken and then one last night.  Paul said if you couldn't, you could call the plays and know who to go to."

"My people are good.  I'll bring it before them and then hire if I have to."  Don nodded at that.  "Bodies?"

"If you can get them, their families might not mind. Their friends definitely wouldn't.  This situation has made my brother quit doing math for the last three days."

"I know his sort.  I'll see what I can do.  Call you or him?"

"If you're local, call me. If you're in DC, call Gibbs at NCIS or Fornell in the FBI.  If you're in Miami, talk to Caine."

That got a nod.  "I can do that.  Thank you."

"We want them to stop this.  If they come after my brother IA won't have a problem anymore."  That got a nod.  "Thank you."  He left, heading back to the office.

The major paged his team to the meeting area downstairs, heading down there with the checks and files.  They were there by the time he was.  He dropped the stack.  "Someone higher up has been stealing scientists and GHS members as collateral for intel and trade."  That got a shudder. "Some of them are places the FBI cannot or will not go."  He pushed the files closer.  "This would be a paying job."

"How much?" the female team member asked.  He laid out the two checks.  "Ellison?  Any relation to Jim?  He's a cop up that way and he's in the news."

"Steve is the frontman for Harris, out of Sunnydale."  That got a mass nod.  They'd heard about what had went down up there with the Initiative.  "He's a level ten and the same one we heard hit the bazaar last night.  We may have to hire some help for this."

"CJ would go," she reminded him.  "He's retired but he'd go."

"That's an idea."  He looked at the files, sorting them out.  "Scientists," he said, pointing at the higher pile.  "GHS members."  He looked at them.  "At least two are already dead that Paul's heard of.  They've already fixed the files."

"Standard evil bastards with an idea," the bouncy younger guy asked.

"Yup.  You meet any at the convention?"  He went pale.  "Yeah, some of us realized, Nick.  You know any of them?"

"Yeah and I talked to Tony.  The one doing the snatching for them was his former director.  They haven't arrested?"

"Some.  They're doing the interagency dance."  That got a nod.  "The agent who brought it to me has a brother who's a math genius locally.  He said if they show up for him, it won't be a problem."

"Good ta know," he agreed.  "Which order are we going?"

"Let's start with the bigger group first," she said.  "We have a few on the flight pathway that Gustav's people use."  They bent over to plot them on maps.  They  nodded at that.  It was a plan.  Gather the ones clumped together first then go after the individual ones.  "Do we split the team?"

"We hire a second," he decided, going to call a few people he knew. "Paul needs help rescuing geeks and his people," he said once he had them on conference.  "Paid job.  I've got cashiers checks.  We've got ten targets."  He hung up and went back there.  Then he went to call someone.  "Is Harris still at the bazaar?"  He nodded at that.  "One of the kidnaped geeks is over there at the bazaar.  Have him see if he can get him home?"  He smiled. "That'll work. Let me know."  He hung up and walked back, tossing that file onto the floor.  "Harris is near there.  He's already arranging to meet the guy.  His past won't let the guy suffer."  That got a nod.  That left them less targets.

***

Xander smiled as he got off the plane two days later.  "Hi, I need to speak to the Custom's supervisor please?" he told the one coming out to meet him.  "I have a few people who were kidnaped overseas that I managed to get free and bring back with me."

The man gaped.  "Who are you?"

"Xander Harris.  You can call him or the FBI, either one is fine.  They know and expected it actually."  The man stomped back inside.  He smiled and went to get one a bottle of water.  "Soon.  Give it a few hours for the debriefing."  She nodded, sipping it.  Someone stomped up the stairs.  "Horatio."  He gave him a hug.  "These nice people were ones who were sold by Sheppard, and one other GHS member."

"How did you find them?"

Xander pinched him on the cheeks.  "Moret wasn't what we thought.  He's a very nice member of Vesvold's tribe."  Horatio shuddered.  "He mentioned it to me."  He gave the guy walking up the stairs a look.  "I found some."

"I heard.  Good job, Harris."

"Not like I'd leave them there."

"Good point."   He looked at them.  "I'm Special Agent Heartstone with the FBI office here in Miami.  I'm the one assigned to deal with Mr. Harris when he does stupid stuff or saves people.  We do know what Sheppard did.  We have stopped her.  We're going to take you back to the office, debrief you, get you checked over by our nurse, and let you call your friends and family.  We'll figure out how to get you home and keep you safe until then."

"Not an issue," the one sipping water told him.  "One of them tried to keep Xander.  It was messy."

"It was," Xander agreed.  "Took me three bottles of water to get my hair clean."  Horatio gave him a look.  He gave him one back, getting a frown. "You can spank me later."

Horatio nodded.  "Quite possibly.  Do you need a statement from Xander?"  Xander handed over his laptop.  "Wrote a report?"

"In book report format," he said proudly.  "It should be translatable to any other report language format.  You, well, we have to go visit the warehouse tomorrow night."

Horatio nodded.  "We can do that."  He walked Xander off once he had Hubert and his bag - the dragon going inside the bag so he wouldn't be found and quarantined.  "That was extremely dangerous," he said once they were outside.

Xander gave him a look.  "Would you be able to leave them there?  One guy had been there for over a year, Horatio."

"I wouldn't.  Timothy would yell at me for it though.  Therefore I'm saving his throat."

"Have plans for it?" he teased.

Horatio gave him a look over his glasses.  "They're at work.  You can have smutty thoughts later.  Where is Mr. Wolfe?"

"Coming back with the weapons."

"Good."  He walked him inside, letting the seething Customs' official stamp his passport.  "He saved some kidnaping victims the FBI couldn't get to," he told him.

"He's still pushy."

"That's why I asked for a supervisor and I asked politely," Xander said dryly.  "Not my fault you wanted paperwork to deal with this."  He nodded at the supervisor coming out.  "Hi."

"The agent out there has it, Lieutenant?"

"He does.  Xander rescued some scientists who were being held captive where he was."

"That you get a supervisor for," he agreed, looking at him.

"I asked nicely."

"You did," he said.  "Thank you."

"I hate paperwork as much as the next person," he said with a grin.  "My boys come home late when they have to do it."  He turned and waved then left with Horatio.  "Are they mad?"

"That you left with only a voicemail message," he said, giving him another look.

"He wouldn't let me call more support."  He pouted, fingering his braid.  "I did call when I got there."

"You did.  That was nice of you.  Don took most of my roll of Tums."

"I'll get you both new bottles."

"What did you pick up?"

"Seven new admirers who know they can't have me but they think I'm an emissary from God.  Some new rockets and things."

"Stalkers?"

"No, they know they're not allowed to touch me.  Vesvold's cousin told them so."

"Good.  That'll make things easier.  When will they be in?"

"Tomorrow afternoon.  Ryan will call when they land."

"Airplane?"

"Portal. They had to pick up some of it from a demonic storage area.  Which I would love to raid.  Ryan said no."  Horatio shook his head. "Not even just a little bit?"

"No, Xander.  It's not ethical."

"Okay," he pouted.  They backed out of the parking spot and drove off.  "Were they okay otherwise?"  He let Hubert out of the bag, letting him cuddle in his lap.

"Don curled up to watch a movie last night.  Danny made dinner and they spent a quiet night in."  He gave him a look.  "Did  you do anything else?"

"We saw belly dancers."  Horatio pulled over to look at him.  "I only did one with them.  I even did the belly dancing, not mine."

"Is that why they're looking at you like a heavenly messenger?"

"No, there was a demon trying to rampage the bazaar.  Pity about his messy insides too.  It ate part of a helicopter."

"You ...didn't buy one, right?"  He was trying not to sound hopeful that Xander had some sense but now and then Xander got 'wild hair up the ass' syndrome.

"No, Ryan led me off warning me that I didn't need one until I knew how to fly.  Even though I wasn't thinking about it.  I did think Don might like to learn someday."

"He might," he agreed calmly. "What else happened?"

"One of them tried to grab my hair so I went off on him too.  They decided their friend suddenly having green and purple blood meant I had changed him for daring to touch me.  A few were kinda superstitious.  We worked it out though.  I proved I was a guy to one of them and they all grumbled about men who should have been women.  I saw his 'wife' who was one of the GHS taken and we haggled.  It came down to I wouldn't call an army down to destroy the bazaar if I got the kidnaped people. Every last one of them and all the GHS members, wed or not."

"Hmm.  And?"

"I called in a favor with a few demons and they showed up.  One ate the brother of the guy who played with my hair.  They were highly cooperative and Vesvold's cousin was snickering in a corner by then.  One peed on a man and offered for his unmarried daughter but his cousin sent him off with a glare.  He agreed I'm neat and if I ever do lose all my family down here and take Vesvold up on his offer he'd act as my honor guard."

"Nothing else happened?"

Xander smirked and shook his head.  "I was a good Xander all night, Horatio."

"Uh-hmm."  He pulled back into traffic, heading back to the office.  "We'll discuss this later.  That way we can have a family consensus of if it was good or not."

Xander hugged his arm.  "You're a great dad."

Horatio smiled.  "Thank you.  Was there a disclaimer attached?"

"No.  You're a great dad to me.  You've been filling in gaps mine left now since you met me."  Horatio smiled at that.  "You and Speed both."

"I know we've seen you that way for years now."  He reached over to stroke over his cheek.  "Which is why you're giving me gray hairs."

"I'm going to hire you a secretary next since Speed said it's the paperwork doing it."

Hubert raised his head and looked at him, nodding some, then put his head back down.  He grumbled something.

"Did you just say bad?" Xander asked, looking at him.  Hubert looked at him.  "Did you just try to talk?"  Hubert shook his head.  "You sure?"  He nodded.  "Are you going to talk?"  He shook his head and got comfortable, letting Xander get the itchy spot between his front legs.  "Okay."

"I thought so too," Horatio admitted.  "Why is Ryan coming later?"

"They kept wanting me to take this crappy sword with a destiny attached and I said no.  Repeatedly.  He said he'd make sure I didn't have to."

"Ah."

"You changed syllables," he teased.

"Now and then change is good for a man."  He took the exit for the lab.  "We're going to the office."

"Okay.  Should we stop to get food?"

"We managed to feed ourselves today."  He gave him a look.  "Though it does cheer people up."  Xander handed him his wallet, letting him go through a drive-thru for everyone.  They would appreciate it and maybe it would keep Xander able to sit for the next few hours.  Probably not, but maybe.  He finally pulled into his spot and parked, letting Xander get the boxes of food while they headed inside.  The receptionist signed him in and handed Horatio the visitor's pass.  "Thank you.  Page them for me?"  She nodded, doing that.  They walked into the breakroom, finding Ryan sharpening his sword.  "Done already?"

"Yeah, they found it fairly quickly.  So we brought it today."  He looked at Xander.  "You still don't have the sword."

"Love you for it."

"Did he tell you about how he scared the crap out of the weapons dealers with the new demons?"

"He did."

Ryan looked at him.  "I'm proud.  I don't have to nark on you."

Xander grinned back.  "Don't make me spank you too."

Don walked in and pulled Xander with him.  "Taking over the special bathroom, Horatio."  He pulled Xander all the way there, locking them inside so he could push Xander against a wall and kiss him.  "What did you do?" he asked between kisses.

"Rescued some of the ones that were taken."  He ran a hand into his hair.  "I missed you too."

"Good.  Should have."  He moved down to tease his cock.  "I should spank."

"They looked at me like I'm an emissary from God for taking out the demon then bellydancing later on.  No one touched me.  One started to and I made a mess of him."

"Even better.  Because you're mine," he said in his ear, earning a shiver.  "Were you a good boy?"  Xander nodded, letting Don do whatever he wanted.  "Good."  He turned him around, dropping both their pants so he could have him.  Xander was making the pretty mewling noises within minutes and it was good for him.  Very good for him.   Xander came for him, letting him lick his throat.  "Good.  You brought me food?"  He finished up, moaning into Xander's throat.  "I missed you."

"I missed you too, goofball."  He gave him a kiss.  "I had a thought."  Don smiled at him.  "Would you like to learn how to fly?"

"I'll think about it."  He took another kiss.  "Clean up.  We'll go eat before Eric's stomach devours it and the table."  Xander got them cleaned up then led him back there, holding hands with him.  Frank gave him an amused look.  "He was doing dangerous stuff protecting us all."

Danny pulled Xander into his lap, checking him over.  "No injuries?"  He shook his head, grinning.  "You sure?"

"Even when I took on the demon that was threatening the bazaar they didn't hurt me."

"You went to *the* bazaar?" Eric asked.  "The one where any gun is available?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "WHY?"

Xander cackled.  "The guy was Vesvold's cousin."

They all moaned at that.  Danny fed him a piece of food.  "Here, eat.  Should we expect them to try for you?"

"No, he kept them from keeping anyone they had taken," Ryan told him.  "We brought back another six, Xander."  Xander beamed at him.  "Older GHS.  One refused to leave so we left your cell number in case they changed their mind or more showed up.  We think another one was hiding one of the scientists so I left one of the demons watching for it.  It'll bring her here if so."  Xander nodded at that.  "How are the others going?"

"Paul called someone he knew to help.  Did we send the names of ours to Paul?"  He frowned,  then called him.  "Did I send you a list of names and did you get one from Ry too?"  He beamed.  "I thought I had.  Wanted to make sure.  Dinner.  Have a good night, Paul."  He listened to him.  "Need help?"  He shrugged.  "Huh.  I don't know.  Thanks for the warning."  He hung up. "Jorge's mad at me."

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"He didn't  know and neither do I."   He shrugged and got some dinner, eating, even feeding his boys and Ryan some since he was giving him fond looks.  "You can ask, I was good."

"He was very good.  Even when he was belly dancing he was very good and stuck to their type instead of his."

"Belly dancing?" Danny said, patting Xander's back until he got given a sheepish look.  "We were careful?"

"The only guy who tried to touch him went for his braid and Xander made him messy before I could get off my seat," Ryan told him.  They all nodded at that.

"Are you sure we can't talk some of the demons at the storehouse into giving me stuff?" Xander asked, smiling at Horatio.

"It's still unethical to use your hormones for material gain, Xander.  For your own protection, yes.  To get pretty things, no."

"Yes, Horatio."

He gave him a fond smile.  "Maybe the next one who likes you will give you weapons."

"As long as it's not that one sword.  You know, that probably should go to Buffy," Xander said, looking at Ryan.

"Vesvold's cousin said they got free last week and were dropped back in Sunnydale.  He agreed with you last night when you said that."

"They're back?" Frank demanded.

"They were warned to leave Xander alone unless they had actually learned their lesson," Ryan told him.

"I don't care if they have or not.  They're still wanted here for tryin' ta blow us up," Don told him.   "Plus the escape."

"Giles?" Xander asked.

Ryan shrugged.  "No one knew.  We can check somehow."  That got a nod.  "You don't worry about them.  If they show up, you have them start here."

"We'd have to arrest on sight," Eric pointed out.

"A good reason for them to start here," Ryan told him, giving him a look.  Eric nodded at that.

"If she's back there and working, she's doing important work saving the world.  She can stay back there so I never have to go help," Xander said calmly.

"But," Don started.

Xander shook his head.  "I can't be a slayer and we're on the wrong coast, Don.  We need her skills.   It's bad when the agents start to shudder in horror at the name of Sunnydale.  If she's doing her job, we leave her alone.  Please.  It's important and she's keeping the end of the world from coming.  Because if she can't I'll have to step in and you guys would kill me if I suddenly flew back to Sunnydale to prevent the end of the world."

"We would," Eric agreed.

"If you do I'm going too," Ryan reminded him.

"Give me some warning so I can use proper paperwork.  Today you had to take a sick day," Horatio told him.

"Not like I usually need them," he quipped with a grin.

Horatio stared at him.  "Warn me anyway, Mr. Wolfe."

"Yes, H."  Xander leaned over to give him a hug.

"Or you, warn me when you take off with him."

"Yes, Dad."  He put his head on his shoulder.  "Who has Hubert?"

"He waddled out a minute ago.  I thought he was going to find a bush."  Frank went to check.  He found him staring in computers, nearly pouting.  "What's wrong, Hubert?"  DC jumped.  He pointed.  "He wandered away from dinner."  He picked him up with a groan.  "You grew in DC, little guy."  He carried him back.  "He was staring in computers with a pout and a hurt look.

"Awww, do we miss the Abby and the Garcia?" Xander cooed, taking him back.

Danny looked at him.  "Gained some weight in DC, good job, Hubert."  The dragon smirked at him.  "Were they good to you?"  He nodded.  "The ladies cooed and petted, huh?"

"Tony said everyone but Kate did; she was in a huff that there were really dragons," Don told him.  He petted him.  "We can maybe see Garcia and them after the holidays.  Xander might be going up to do some shopping."  The dragon perked up at that. "As long as you don't kidnap them for your harem.  Your dad there would get pissed."

He shook his head, putting it down to cuddle.  His human petted nearly as well as the hyper one, the squealing one, and the funny one.  Even the one who smelled good.  So home was nice he guessed.

"Where's the next convention?" Xander asked.

Ray smirked.  "LA then DC."

"Oooh," Xander said, looking at his family.  They nodded they could go. "I want to see Deadboy's face when he finds out there'll be a whole hotel full of us in his town since he was mildly freaked out by me."

They all snickered.  That would be funny.  Too bad it was hard to find a way to take their pictures.

***

Xander settled back in his bed that night, petting his dogs and ferrets.  They had come in to play with him while his boys took showers.  Vesvold appeared, smiling at him.  "Am I in trouble from you too?"

"No, my cousin was a gentleman and you were very careful."  He kissed him on the head.  "Even the demons who were there said you were very careful.  They thought it was cute you'd call in that favor that way until they understood why."  He stroked over his hair, then petted one of the George ferrets.  He kissed him on the forehead. "There may be a problem at the LA convention."  He handed over a photo.  "Of Angel's face."  He winked at Don when he came out.  "Are you all right with him possibly picking up new admirers?"

"I don't like it but it's better if they admire him from afar than try ta take him."

"They shouldn't.  They know he buys weapons to keep himself safe.  By the way, I got you a birthday present."  Xander beamed.  "I got you the thing you couldn't afford."  Xander hugged him.  "You are still my favorite distraction and love."  He faded out, heading home.  His cousin smiled at him and handed him a drink.  "Thank you for protecting what's mine for me."

"Not a problem, Vesvold.  He's a sweet boy.  We thought he'd be oozing lust and things but he was generally trying to help when he did that."

"Xander still protects people.  That's why he was playing poker and kept going back even when they tried to kill him a few times."  He sipped his drink, settling down in his favorite chair to talk to his family.

Xander showed Don the picture once he had looked and giggled.  "Vesvold said it was Angel's face when they told him the convention was coming."

Don snickered at that.  "It is a comical look on him.  Hell, he's nearly blushing even if he does look horrified."  He kissed Xander, moving the ferrets out of the way.   "How do you feel?"

"Not backed up.  I don't know why."

"We think Ryan's still a bit tainted," he said quietly.  Xander frowned at that.  "If so......"

"He was subtly feeding off me all weekend.  Would he know?"

"We're not sure if he realizes it or not.  We need to know for sure."

Danny came out.  "I think it'll be fine.  It's not like he's stopped eating."

"No, he's only eating little bits though," Xander said, frowning.  "I'll pull out the books tomorrow, see if there's a way to finish detoxing him."  He kissed them both, then gently moved the ferrets out of the way.  "Spots, move, daddy wants human cuddles too."  They moved to the end of the bed and Xander pounced, making Don laugh.  "Why don't you feel me to see how I feel?"

Don felt him.  "I think you feel like you could use some fun."  He tickled him and it was good, Danny blocked Xander from moving too far and it always got him pounced the best ways.  Then Danny could finish Xander off.  "You didn't even bring me back a present," he teased.

"You wanted a belly dancer?"   Don got him extra hard, making him squeal.  "Okay!  Next time I'll find you a t-shirt!"  Don licked up his throat.  "I got you nice stuff for the holidays."

"Good.  Did you hit the charity ornament sale?"  Xander nodded.  "Did we find stuff we liked?"

"We found some gorgeous blown glass ones.  I bought multiple colors and some metal ones too.  So we'll need lights and tinsel.  I'll work on that and get a tree next month."  They both smiled, playing with him now.  Hubert climbed up to and waddled up to sit on his chest.  "Aww, did you need lovies too?"  Hubert sniffed then groaned and laid down on Don.  Don smiled and petted him until he fell asleep then put him down with the dogs.  They snuggled around him to keep him warm and used him as a pillow.  Xander felt Don up.  "You feel like you need to play."

"I do need ta play," he promised, kissing him.  "What are you getting Adam since he keeps saying no shiny stuff?"

"A tinfoil hat to block out the voices."

They both laughed and hugged their boy.  His mind was very unique sometimes.  Well, a lot of the time really.

***

Xander finished up the last bookshelf and put it aside then made sure his tools were safe.  He bounced out of the storage area and went to Home Depot, knowing he was going to be in trouble if he didn't put the workshop near the house.  So he was going to find ways to do that.  He found his usual guy.  "My storage place wants me to put on a workshop."

"That's a bit harder than your usual project."

Xander smiled.  "I did work construction for eight months."  That got a nod.  "So I can add onto the back of the garage since it's already got electrical service and I need to fix one of the separating walls and the roof anyway."

"You do know it's supposed to rain most days?"

"I know and it's dripping onto my SUV."  That got a small laugh.  "I can fix that easily enough under a tarp.  The wall too.   The new building out back won't be that hard either."

"So you need framing supplies and wire, right?"

"Right now I need framing supplies.  A giant tarp for the roof."  They went to get him what he wanted.   "The garage is stucco, I've never worked with that.  Is it hard to apply?"

"No, it's put on like joint mud only it's textured."

"Hmm.  That might not be so bad then."  They found him what he needed.  "Since my boys are gone next week at a law enforcement conference we can frame it then.  It'll give me some uninterrupted work time.  Can you deliver it next week?"

"Sure.  To the house this time?"

"Yeah, they won't fit in the SUV even with the seats down."  That got a nod.  "But I did finish the last bookcase."  He showed him a picture on his phone.  "That's the first one I tried.  The lopsided is because of the floor, not it."

"It looks solid."  Xander beamed and they checked him out.  "Let us know when you're ready for more stuff."

"I will."  He took the tarp with him so he could spread it now.  He drove home, finding the guards for the community at the gates, like usual.  "Hey, guys, I'm putting a workshop behind the garage and fixing the garage."

"More construction people, Mr. Harris?"

He grinned.  "No, I'm doing this one myself.  I like working with wood."

"Insulate your new workshop very well please," one told him.  "The people on your right hate the noise of people doing menial things like working.  They complained the whole time about your fixing."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "I know.  Still."

"I'll soundproof and run a phone line too."

"Might be a good idea, sir.   Or maybe an emergency switch?"

"I might.  Thanks, guys.  I'll start when the boys are gone at the police conference.  They'll deliver stuff for framing next week."  That got a nod.  "Thanks."  He drove on, parking in his garage.  He went up to cover the roof with his blue tarp and then got his handsaw to trim the branch that had caused the problem.

"What are you doing!" someone shouted.  "That's my tree!"

"Your tree broke a hole in my roof, woman.  I'm only trimming this branch so I can fix the roof next week."  He went back to it.

"You can't do that, it's *MY* tree!" she shouted.  "Help!"  Guards came running.  "Stop him!"

"Ma'am, it's on his property," one of the guards said.  "He has the right to trim it if it's harming his property.  The same as we can trim his apple tree if it hangs over the fence again."

"Let me know and I'll trim it," Xander said.  "I told her about this one and she sneered.  Pity."  He finished cutting the limb in question off and tossed it down then looked at her.  "That's all I have to trim but you've got rot."  She huffed off.  He nodded at the limb.  "Look at the center."

"That is ash rot," one said.  "We've seen a few of them before."  He went to reason with her and get her to call someone to look at her trees before they all died.  Her landscaping would cause them no end of problems for weeks.  Xander's had been nice.  Right in, get to work, plant things, then right out.

The other one looked at him. "You have a nut and an apple tree hanging over again, Xander."

"I can fix that," he promised, going out with him to look at it.  "Hmm.  Should I paint the trimmed end with something?"

"Please.  Though it was nice, I got lunch from it before."  Xander grinned and shrugged at that.  "Thanks."  A regular police cruiser pulled up. "She called the cops because he trimmed a branch that was on his property?"

"Yup."  He got out and came over.  "You need to prune that down."

"I'm wondering if I should paint them with tar," Xander said, looking at him.

"No clue," he admitted.  "What happened?"  Xander walked him to the point where he could see the garage and pointed.  "It's on your property."

"It poked a hole in the roof too.  She's really going to hate it when I have to fix the roof now.  That's all I trimmed and her tree has ash rot.  The whole core is rotten on that limb.  It would've fallen in and if it had fallen and hit our vehicles she would've been paying to fix them."

"It's well within your rights," he said tiredly.

Xander looked at him.  "Are you getting to go to the convention?  I know my boys are."

"No, I can't.  I'm on that weekend."  Xander gave him a short hug.  "Thanks, I think."

"Detectives Flack and Messer live with him," the local guard said.

"Oh!  Yeah, you're him."  He nodded.  "I'd ask a tree person about trimming those and keeping them from regrowing over the fence if it's not allowed."

"We don't want things dropping onto the sidewalk," the community guard said.  The other one came back with her.  "She call someone to see to her tree?"

"She doesn't believe it has rot."  He went to get the branch and brought it back to show her.  "That's ash rot, Mrs. Federea.  Like your front tree had a few years back.  Remember all the problems you had then?"  She huffed and turned away.

"If it falls and hits our vehicles or garage, you're going to be paying for the damage," Xander told her.  "My insurance company will be more than happy to charge you."  He looked at the officer.  "Tree service?"

"People who come out to take care of your trees for you.  Like the lawn boys, Mr. Harris."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "I usually do it."  He shrugged and looked at the guards.

"Mrs. Peterson has one coming in tomorrow, Xander.  We can ask if they'd talk to you about trimming yours."

"Please."  He grinned.  "That way I don't hurt them and they don't get rot  like hers."  That got a nod and they went to make a note in the guard shack.  He looked at the officer.  "Am I in trouble?"

"No, sir.  It's within your rights to trim an annoyance branch on your property."  She huffed off again.  "That is the law, ma'am," he called after her.  He looked at him.  "Will the garage hold up if it falls?"

"No, or the wall," Xander said quietly.  "I've got to fix the roof where it poked a hole and another weak spot.  I'll see if I can make it a lot stronger when I put on my workshop."

"You work with wood?"

"I do.  I just started again."  He showed him the same picture. "Ignore the tilt, it's from the floor and it broke a screw.  I've since replaced it.  They're going to Ryan Wolfe for the holidays."

"That's a thoughtful gift."  He gave him a smile.  "Make sure she doesn't retaliate."

"She tries and I'm a vengeful bitch."

He laughed as he walked off.  "Have a good day, Mr. Harris."

"You too.  Want some of the last apples?  We have a few that need to be picked and Don's appled out."

"I wouldn't mind."  He went to find a few good ones and picked them, smiling at the perfection.  "Thanks, sir."

"Welcome.  Have a good, easy patrol."  He walked back up to the house.  He really needed to fix the garage so it was more sturdy.  His SUV barely fit in it.  Don's bike was sitting in a modified stable.  Well, he didn't mind the stable look but they needed automatic doors.

***

Xander looked at the tree guys.  "Hi.  Are you the people who trim trees?"  The one driving nodded.  "They said they can't hang over the fence but I don't want to stunt their growth any other way.  I wasn't sure about painting the cut ends with tar or making them ugly."

"We can trim the overhanging branches," he said, getting out to look.  "You have a beautiful cultivation."

He grinned.  "Thank you."  He pointed.  "I know the one over my garage has rot."

They shuddered.  "We hate those."  They went to look at the ones over the fence.  "We can trim those and make them look pretty natural.  That way it doesn't look like someone took an invisible saw and cut overtop of the fence all the way down."  Xander beamed at that.  "What do you have?"

"Some apple, some nuts, some citrus.  Oh, damn," he sighed, spotting her.  "I had to cut one of the branches that poked a hole in my garage roof.  She's still pissed."  They nodded.  "I've been doing pretty good with the fertilizer around the base in the spring and putting down tree food."

"We can check for you, sir.  We do charge fifty an hour."  Xander handed over two hundred bucks and they nodded, coming to look at what they had.  He tapped one a few minutes later.  "This one's got some shallow roots."

"We buried it as deeply as the others."

"Some trees don't want to sink in deeper," he said.  "It's something to be aware of."  That got a nod.  They checked the others.  One other was a bit shallow too but not dangerously so in either one.  They got their tools to trim the trees, and the guards nodded it was fine.  "Now, next spring you'll want someone to come in again to trim off any buds that're going to grow this way too."

"Okay, I can see that.  Fertilize like I have been?"

"It looked good.  The wood chips especially."

"I figured that's how they do it in the real woods."

"That's a good idea.  Your soil looks fairly well balanced.  This spring you'll want to have it tested again in case the winter rains washed any nutrients too far down."  Xander nodded at that.  "We painted them with things to discourage bugs."

"I need to do that on the hottub deck," he said.  Then he shook his head.  "Sorry, train of thought."

"That's okay."  One of them patted him on the arm.  "It shouldn't hurt any of your production."  That got a nod.  "Anything else we can do?"

"Do you think they'll bloom this winter?"

"They might do a minor one.  You'll want to watch out for buds.  Or, there's an idea,  you can plant a few cherry trees and get some staggered growth."  Xander beamed at that.  "I know the nursery down on eighth has some nice ones.  The other side of the gate would be good and they'll grow into useful trees."  He nodded.   "Since we still have time left, want us to look at the one over the garage?  It's starting to lean."

Xander looked then sighed.  "It started to lean last night during the storm.  Like I said, if it damages stuff she's paying for it."  That got a nod.  "Do we think it'll fall?"

"We can look.  Ma'am," he told the lurking, watching, sneering woman. "Your tree looks like it's going to fall.  This one overpaid us so we can look at yours for free if you want."

"It's where he cut that limb.  It needed it for stability and now it's leaning toward the injury!" she said.

Xander looked at her.  "I can find emotions in many things but not trees."  She sneered and stomped off.  "Can you look from my side?"  They nodded, going to do that.  They both gave him looks.  "It's going to fall?"

"It's already half rotten and it's going to fall soon."

"I'll let the community's people handle her," Xander said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir."  They handed him a card.  "If you need us back this spring, call."  Xander nodded and they left, much happier.  He had a well tended set of trees and had a clue when to call a professional.  Well before it became a real problem for others.

Xander put the card in the office then went to talk to the guards.  "They said hers is going to fall any day now."

"Hell," one of the guards said.

"If it hits my garage, I'm making her sorry.  They said it's half rotten and the tree people would know.  They even offered to look for free since I overpaid them."

"When did it start to lean?" one asked.

"Last night during the rain storm."

"Can you move the vehicles?"

"Don's bike," he said quietly.

"Oh, damn," he muttered.  The detective babied his bike.  "Move his bike back by your hottub?"  Xander nodded.  "Move yours into the driveway, just in case, Xander.  That way you don't have to take her to court to fix it."  He nodded. "Let's hope it doesn't cause more damage."

"She told me it was leaning to cover the injury."

"She's a bit strange," one admitted.  "She has a daughter who takes care of her."

"Can we talk to the daughter?"

"We have last night.  We'll let her know it's still a problem."  Xander nodded and headed home to pull Don's bike out and cover it with a waterproof tarp.  Then the two cars down the driveway.  He called his boyfriends first.  "Detective Messer, Dave at the gate.  Not a real problem.  Just an FYI.  Did you see your neighbor's tree this morning?  That one, yes.  Tilted at a forty degree angle at the moment.  The tree people Xander hired to trim yours where they were over the fence said it's going to fall soon.  Exactly.  That's what he's doing now but I was thinking you might warn Detective Flack to put his bike into a storage area for a few days?  That way it isn't hit when the tree falls on your garage and it caves?  He's moved it but it still might be hit with some of it.  Thank you.  Yes, there.  He's fine.  The tree people were very complimentary about his skills.

"They trimmed it so it's still beautiful from this side.  They looked over the fence at hers.  They offered to look at it for free since your boy overpaid but she stomped off in a snit.  We've told her daughter.  They did say you'd have to watch two that were a bit shallowly rooted.  Other than that it looked fine and they suggested some cherry trees on the other side.  That's where he suggested, yes.  They said you might get a shallow second crop too.  We will, but Xander's pissed at her at the moment. We figured warning you before it fell would give you time to find a way to calm him down when he threw a hissy as he usually says."  He smiled.  "You too, have a good day, sir."  He hung up and called the woman's daughter who took care of her.

"Ma'am, Dave at the gate of your mother's community?   No, the neighbor she's been complaining about...  That is within his legal rights, ma'am.  It's on his property and damaged his garage.  As long as it's on his property he's allowed to trim it.  The officer she called told her that.  That is the law.  No, he had some tree people out to trim some of his today and check them for the same sort of rot hers has.  They said it's going to fall any day now.  Which will cause more problems because it's going to hit his garage and then your mother would have to pay for the damages.  Again, that's the law, ma'am.  His insurance company would make her pay for it.  Well, there is the idea that it could be cut down since it's leaning at a forty degree angle at the moment.

"Yes, it's starting to fall now.  I'm more worried it'll hit the house and hurt people, ma'am.  That's still within his right and he only trimmed that one branch."  He rolled his eyes.  He hated Miami Spoiled Brat syndrome.  "Yes, ma'am, just a warning that it's going to fall and then there's going to be more problems.  Especially if it hits the house and damages it or someone.  After all, people do live there and it would hit their kitchen."  She hung up on him.  He made a note of both calls.  His boss called.  "Sir."  He listened. "I did warn Detective Messer that the tree was going to fall so he could figure out how to calm down his lover when he threw a fit about it taking out his garage, and then her daughter to warn her the tree was still a problem and becoming worse.

"Sir, we had tree people out earlier.  Mr. Harris had them looking at his to trim where it was over the fence.  They said it's dead.  It's coming up.  It's at a forty degree angle at the moment and it could hit the kitchen.  Which means hurt residents as well as the garage.  Yes, he's already warned her he's going to get his insurance company into it and make her pay.  She's still complaining he trimmed that branch.  Her daughter is too.  Personally?  I think they're spoiled and they both have issues, sir.  Exactly.  No, Mr. Harris is going to be fixing the garage so it's more sturdy and adding on a workshop behind it as well.  I've seen some of the ones he built for the house and it's beautiful work.  I did warn him to insulate very well.  Yes, sir, he knows.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up and groaned.  "I hate dealing with him nearly as much as I do them."

His partner patted him on the back.  They waved at the insurance guy Xander had in to look at the house.  He paused at the end of the driveway then came over.  "Someone looked at her tree?"

The guard handed over the card from the company.  "They looked over from Xander's side. They offered to do a free look at it since Xander overpaid them."

"That's nice of them."  He went to look.  The damage to the roof was already bad.  The tree was clearly going to fall any good wind now.  He looked at the house, calculating the trajectory of the top branches.  "It'll hit the new third floor, Mr. Harris."

"I know.  It's all rotted too."  He showed him the branch.  "Even the tree guys said it was going to fall over soon.  She huffed.  I want good documentation.  I'm covered for that, right?"

"You are.  You're covered for everything."  He gave him a short pat and moved to take pictures.  "Do you know her name?"

Xander wrote it down.  "I know the gate guards said that she has a daughter who takes care of her.  I don't begrudge her trees.  I don't want them damaging my stuff though.  I like trees, trees are nice.  I simply can't put up with that."

"No, I agree.  That's dangerous."  He took another picture and then got his video camera out when it started to sway with the new breeze and rain.  He looked at the cars.  "Move your SUV back farther.  That way it won't hit it."  Xander went to move both cars farther and Don's bike around the side of the house.  He nodded at that, watching as the tree slowly slid a bit closer to horizontal to the ground.  He winced, watching it finally give up and fall.  Then he filmed the damage.  He looked at Xander.  "Do you want to call the contractor?"

"I disliked the last one by the end.  He stuck up for the guy who tagged the house with anti-ferret and anti-gay people paintings."  He looked.  "I can put up a new garage."  The insurance guy gave him a look.  "I worked construction for eight months.  It's not that hard."  Don pulled into the driveway and stopped.  He grinned.  "Your bike is next to our bathroom."

"I love you for moving it."  He got out and came over, nodding at their insurance guy.  "We paid on time, right?"

"It's taken out automatically so you're always on time.  It'll be faster if we find the contractor for you, Xander."

Xander shrugged.  "I can."

Don looked at him.  "You can what?"

"Redo the garage."

Don gave him a look.  "Bookcases and tables are one thing," he said cautiously.  He got the pissed look back.  That's why he was cautious.  "Are you down enough for that, Xander?  I remember you hitting yourself on the foot with the hammer a few times last year."

"Yeah, Ryan's helping with that right now.  I can probably frame the new garage and workshop while you're gone at the convention, Don."  Don gave him a look.  "I can."  He gave him a kiss.  "The tree people were very nice.  We have to watch two of them for being a bit shallowly planted.  Do you like cherries?"

"I love cherries and if you wanted to plant a few cherry trees I'd like that."  Xander beamed at him and bounced a bit.  "Contractors can get it done faster."

"They'd drive me nuts."

"So?"

"I'd have to spend that week out of the house."

Don grimaced.  "Did we maybe wish the tree down?"

"I was here.  It started to wiggle in the wind," the insurance guy told him.  "I have it on film.   You can wish things down?"

"No, but there is that law of be careful what you wish for."

"Good point."  He went closer to tape the damage to the garage, the wall, and the picnic area.  "You'll be able to get a new patio set too, Xander."

"Thank you."  He looked at Don.  "Your turn to choose since Danny picked the picnic tables."

"I can do that."  He gave him a kiss.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  I was standing here watching him tape when it fell over."

The neighbor started to scream.  "What did you do to my tree!" she wailed.

Xander shook his head.  "Can't I hit her?" he asked quietly.  Don shook his head, giving him a look.  "If I get batty, cure me or let me go?"

"Definitely.  You'd drive me more nuts than Ma does."  He gave him another kiss, looking at the neighbor from the other side when she huffed over.  "We knew it was rotten."

"More construction work?" she demanded.

Xander beamed and nodded.  "Yup, plus I'm busy making presents for the family.   I did plan to insulate my workshop very well but, well," he said, waving a hand at the garage.  "It was going on the back of it."  She groaned.  "So yeah, I'll insulate as soon as I can."

She walked off in a huff.  "Don't be too loud or I'll complain."

Xander looked at Don.  "Think she's a sentinel?" he asked quietly.  Don snickered.  "Can I buy them out?"

"No."

"Fine."  He looked at  the guards when they came back with an officer.  "I may be pledged to Cupid, Ares, and Strife, but none of them made the tree fall," he told the officer from the day before.

"No, it was starting to lean when I left yesterday, Mr. Harris.  Your insurance guy is screaming back?"

Xander looked.  "Want me to get pompoms?" he called.  His insurance guy laughed but shook his head.  He looked at the cop again.  "He was here when it fell.  I called him when the tree people said it was going to fall soon.  It got a bit windy before the rain started.  Thankfully he had me move the cars and Don's bike farther away."

The officer smiled.  "I've seen his bike around town."  He looked at the detective.  "She's coming over."

"I saw."  He looked at his insurance guy.  "How long do you think it'll take Xander to fix it instead of a crew?"

"Probably about twice as long," he admitted.

"I can have that framed in the weekend they'll be gone.  A few days to roof, a few to put on boards for the walls.  The doors being put on.  Want automatic doors this time, Don?"

"I could like that," he agreed.  "Your workshop?"

"Behind it."  He looked at him.  "With a lot of insulation so sentinel woman next door doesn't hear."  The insurance agent snickered and coughed.  The cop laughed too.  He grinned.  "Are you sure you're all right?  You still look tired."

"I've been on for the last three weeks thanks to some sick time."

Xander frowned then went inside and came out with something.  "They're going to run out before I can get there."

"I can't take gifts."

"Oh, fuck the rules, dude.  I'm the wife of two officers.  If Stetler climbs on your ass, tell him that and to see me in person."  The officer gave him a horrified look.  He stared back.  "I am, basically, the wife of two officers. The best friend of others.  Horatio's like a dad to me.  I can spoil other parts of the department too."

"Thank you."

"Welcome.  Let them make you feel better.  It's not too macho.  I got Frank Tripp to go with me and he said he felt much better afterward.  A bit of spoiling is good for you."  He nodded, putting them into his shirt pocket.  "And if she says something about the bribes, well, I'm about to stick my foot up her ass."

The officer coughed.  "No violence in front of me," he said quietly.

"If I must."  He walked over there.  "So, when are you going to put back up the fence and fix my garage?  I'll need it done soon," he said, making her stop shrieking and staring at him.  "It was your tree that did it.  That makes it your fault.  That means you're responsible.  I know that's a strange word to most of Miami's upper society, but *really*, woman!  Even I know you fix these things before they inconvenience people.  I'm sure you'll be paying for wherever we have to park our cars too.  After all, my SUV is worth more than your house.  Don's bike is worth more than your house in it's present condition.  We don't want them damaged too and if you have rats or something please keep them over there."  She started to cry.  "Now, when can we expect the people to come fix this shit?"

"Let me handle it, Mr. Harris," his insurance agent said.

Xander shrugged. "As long as it gets handled."  He walked off again.  He went to hug Don.  "It didn't hit the top floor," he said quietly.  "It fell off center."

Don gave him a squeeze.  "It would've come down during a hurricane.  Which ones are too shallow of ours?"

"One of the orange and one of the pecan trees.  I'll see what I can do about that."  He nodded, stroking his back.  "They were very nice and they said they'd come out this spring too.  That way they could fix the problem of it hanging over the fence."

"That's good."  He petted him gently.  "It'll be okay."  Xander nodded, letting himself relax since he was there to handle it.  He called his boss. "Hey, Cap?  It's Flack.  Our garage just got smashed in by the neighbor's tree.  Keeping Xander from ripping her head off at the moment.  He got our cars out.  Even my bike.  Can you ask Frank if I can use a corner of his garage?  Or Speedle?  Thanks.  I'm here.  Probably.  The insurance guy is here.  Flattened the garage.  The back patio area.  It's brushing the hottub.  We're damn lucky it didn't hit the new top floor, Cap."  He looked up and said a silent prayer of thanks for that.  "I can do that.  Sure, I have a great new desk to do paperwork on."  He smiled at Xander.  "Send it home with Messer or someone.  Thanks, Cap."  He hung up, going back to hugging Xander.  "Did you thank them for not letting the tree fall on the house?"

Xander looked up and said his own prayers of thanks.  Even if they didn't change the angle he was still thankful.  He watched the insurance agent work.  "He has the tact I'm missing.  I always wondered who it had went to."  The officer walked off laughing.  "Do I need to file a report?"

"I can, Mr. Harris.  Detective, keep him calm?"

"Oh, he'll be calm.  Thanks, man."  He shook his hand.  "Going to the convention?"

"Nah, I'm on this weekend.  I had a few weeks of sick time recently."  He left, going back to the station.  By the time he got there, there was pizzas waiting on everyone.  He smiled as he met the delivery guy, holding the door open for him.  "Who ordered?"

"Um, it said for the patrol guys," he said, letting the receptionist take them.  "I've got another six in the car, ma'am."  He went to get them.

He walked off smiling, leaning in his boss's door.  "Remember the tree call?"  He grimaced but nodded.  "It's Flack's boyfriend."

"Harris?"  He nodded.  "He okay?"

"It fell today.  Totally smashed his garage.  His insurance guy came over before it fell because Xander wanted it documented.  Oh, he ordered us pizzas."  That got a smirk.  "And I got spa passes from him.  He said I'm tired and if someone fussed to get into his face because he can so spoil more than the lab."

"Good of him."  He came out to look at the food.  The guy from K-9 shook his head.  "No drugs?"

"Normal pizzas."  He went back to nibbling on his piece.  "It's a good place too."  He looked at the delivery driver.  "Need a tip?"

"Just someone to sign the slip.  He did it by credit card."

One of the guys called Messer.  "We're forging your name on the slip where your boy ordered us pizza.  Yeah, him."  He hung up.  "Messer said we could."

"We're used to the lab doing it."  He let him sign it for him.  "Thank you, sir."  He handed him a copy.  "Make sure he gets that please."  He walked out, happy with making them happy.  They had looked tired.  It wasn't even hurricane season  yet.

That one guy smiled.  "Ran into Flack's boy with the last two days of tree calls.  He said I'm tired looking."

"You are," his boss agreed.  "Use those passes."  He got his own and nibbled, heading back to his office.  The others grabbed theirs and got back to work.  Those in their cars ate on the way to their route.  The ones at their desk were lucky enough to get seconds and night shift even got some when they came in.  The night shift supervisor gave his swing counterpart an odd look.  "Harris.  The tree calls one of my guys  had was him and his neighbor."

"His tree the problem?"

"Hers was and it flattened their garage.  I'm hoping Flack's bike wasn't in there.  He'll pout for weeks."

"Probably wasn't if the kid was home."  He went to get his own slices and came in to go over what had happened.

***

Danny got home that night with Horatio and Speed.  "Man," he said, looking at the mess.  "How are we cleaning this?"

"Chainsaw," Xander said bluntly, giving him a look.  "Are you guys taking Don's baby?"

"We are," Speed said, going to talk to him.  "I've got a corner of the garage you can put her in, Don."

"Thanks, Speed.  I'm very glad Xander wasn't off shopping or something.  The mess would've been outrageous.  She's still complaining he bewitched her tree by cutting off that limb.  She got one of the judges who lives up the street into it and he agreed the rot on the branch and the report of the tree people stated it was her fault.  He had every right to cut the branch.   She was going to be paying for the damage. Then he gave Xander a look.  Xander just shrugged and said 'I didn't call, she did; I was more than willing to go to someone who was at work and the cops told her the same thing'.  The judge smiled and took one of the last few apples.  Do you like cherries?"

"Love 'em.  He planting cherry trees?"  Don smiled and nodded.  "They'll grow up and be pretty then."

"He swears he's fixing the garage himself."

"Uh-huh.  Tables and desks are one thing, garages are another."  He walked inside, finding Xander cooking so he pinned him against the stove.  "How about we toss Eric's dad a bone since it's their thin season?" he asked in his ear.  "He's got a lot of guys with kids who could use the nice check right before the holidays."  Xander pouted at him.  "You can help.  It's not a big job but it'd help them."

Xander pouted.  "I wanted to do it."

"You can work on the inside of your new workshop.  That way you can show us all the finishing work.  Right now, it's going to keep storming so we'd rather have it done fast.  One guy can't work as fast as ten."

Xander nodded.  "I understand the reason....."

Danny kissed him.  "Please?"

Xander sighed and nodded.  "Fine.  I'll call him."

Speed walked in calling Eric.  "Hey, me.  Danny just talked Xander into throwing your dad a job to fix the mess the tree created.  New garage and workshop behind it but Danny said Xander gets to finish the inside so he can show them how good he is.  Yeah, real mess.  Tree's still here."

"I've got the stuff for framing the new workshop coming late next week," Xander said.

"He said he's got framing stuff coming late next week.  Sure.  Please.  If he's not busy he can.  We're here.  I'm taking Don's baby home to protect her."  He smiled.  "Thanks, Eric."  He hung up.  "He'll talk to his dad, see when he can come out."  He gave him a hug.  "Eric's dad needed the job anyway, Xander.  There wasn't that much hurricane damage this year and they've been short on  jobs.  He could even rebuild the ugly stone wall."  Xander nodded.  "That's my good boy," he said in his ear, getting a small smile back.  "I see you that way anyway, kid."  He gave him a squeeze and let him go.  "Are we staying for dinner since Horatio's asleep on the couch?"

"Sure.  I'm making a glaze for the ham I started earlier."

"We love your cooking fingers," Danny said, stealing a kiss.  "Nearly done?"

"Nearly.  Go clean up while Speed picks out veggies."  He went to do that.  Speed got the bags of frozen vegetables from the freezer and got to work on what they wanted.  "How do you tell when a ham's done?"

Speed looked then tested it.  "Needs about another forty minutes but pull it out now to put on the glaze.  That way the flavor bakes in."   He tasted it.  "Sweet, I like that."  He watched Xander pull out the pan, then nearly drop it with a groan.  "Shit."  He caught the pan with Xander's mitt, putting it onto the stove.  "Xander?"

"Oooh, back."  He let himself be walked out to the living room and be sat down.  "I'll be fine."

"Sure."  He went to glaze the ham for him and put it back, finding Danny do that.  "I think he blew a disc or something."  Danny let him have the ham while he checked.  Don came in too.  Eric peeked around the door.  "Xander hurt his back pulling out the ham."

"We heal."  He came in to look, helping him put it back.  "He's been doing a lot of physical stuff recently."  He went to check on his student.  "Guys, we still heal."

"We can baby him until then," Don said, scowling at him.  "He wrenched a muscle."  He helped Xander up.  "How long, Speed?"

"Half an hour, forty minutes."

"We're putting him in a warm bath."  They walked him that way, going to start the soaking and spoiling process.

Eric looked at Horatio then smiled and headed for the kitchen again.  "He didn't even shift in his sleep."

"He's had a few nightmares recently," he said quietly.  He called Ray Junior.  "Xander just blew his back.  That's fine.  Girlfriend time is good for you.  We'll either be late or staying over tonight.  The garage is *history*," he told him.  "That tree fell.  While the insurance guy was here.  He got them out first.  We'll be housing Don's bike for a few days.  Sure.  We're here if you get done."  He hung up.  "He's with his new girlfriend."

"This one nicer?"

"I think you dated her," he said dryly, giving him a swat.  Eric's father tapped then walked in.  "Hi, Mr. Delko.  The rest of the family is in with Xander since he threw his back taking the ham out of the oven to glaze.  I'm sure you saw the mess."

"I did and the wailing woman trying to set it on fire."

They moaned and went to stop her, with the police this time.  One of the nightshift officers had to pounce her since she had the gas can and was pouring it on the remains of the garage as well as her tree.  She screamed and ranted and fought but oh well.  The officer walked over.  "Speedle, what's her issue?"

"Xander cut a limb that tore a hole in his garage roof.  Found out it was rotten.  Got tree people to look at it.  They said it was rotten.  It fell today after they left.  The insurance guy was here when it did because Xander's a CYA person."  That got a nod.  "One of you guys stopped her earlier.  And yesterday."

"That's what got us pizza," he said happily.

"Xander got you guys pizza?" Eric asked.

"He gave the guy who came out spa passes too.  Said he couldn't use them before they expired."  Eric grinned at that.  "Anyway, he does look tired."  He looked at his car.  She was still struggling.  The car was rocking.  "Does she have family?"

"They're just as batty," Don said as he came out wiping his hands off.  "The daughter agrees with her mother that cutting the single limb caused it to fall.  We heard she asked the judge up the street when he got home."  That got a groan.  "Yeah.  Been going on now  for a while.  We complained about her tree.  We complained to the guards about her tree so they could complain to her about community regs.  Xander finally cut it so he could fix the garage roof.  It was starting to lean last night and apparently was about forty degrees toward horizontal when we left this morning.  I saw the insurance company's tape.  The wind picked up, it started to rain, and over it went.  We're damn lucky we got the cars out and it didn't hit the house."

"You are," he agreed.  He looked at the mess then at Eric again.  "You'll need to take some precautions with the gas she poured."

"I know," he agreed.  "He's hiring my dad to put up the new one."  That got a smile.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome."  He walked back to his car, sighing before opening his door.  "If you keep doing that, ma'am, I'm going to add a charge of resisting arrest and damaging public property!" he snapped.  She whimpered and went still.  He got into his car and then got back out, heading for the younger crazy woman with matches.  They all had to move when the fire started.  Gas was a good conductor of fire.  The fire department got there before it spread more than halfway to the house.  "Gas," he called, waving.  "She spread gas on it!"

"We  couldn't get to the breaker and there was electric in the garage," Don called at the same time.  That got nods and they passed that on.  Don sat on the back step into the house, looking at Speed.  "Is it wrong to go with Xander's plan to buy them out and tear down their trashy house?"

"No," he said, shaking his head.  "Not hardly.  Gives you a good orchard area."  Horatio came out, earning a smile for the messy hair.  "The daughter started the fire after we stopped the mother from doing it."  He heard the car's window be broken.  "She's trying to cut herself!" he shouted, heading that way.  The patrol officer called in for help.

"She's insane," Danny said from behind Horatio.  "Has been for years."  They watched the fire be put out, then looked at Eric's father.  "It makes clean up easier."

"Definitely."  He shook his head.  "How bad is her house?"

"No updating, hasn't been taken care of," Danny said.  "One of the gate guards told us that no one's done any maintenance in *years*."

Eric's father smiled.  "One of my former boys started his own company.  They're good workers but they need good proof jobs.  Think he'd mind?"

"I think Xander likes helping guys like that as long as they're good," Danny promised.

"I'll call him."  He went to do that.  His crew could use the work but that guy was going to go out of business if he didn't have something to do soon.  It was a small, easy job to get their foot into the field until hurricane season came again.  "It's Pavel.  I'm with a friend of my son.  His garage got knocked down by a tree.  Then the tree was set on fire by the former owner of the tree.  I am.  Police scanner?"  He laughed.  "Exactly.  Garage with a workshop out back.  The fire department is finishing up soon.  He's even got some framing supplies coming next week.  He was going to add on the workshop himself.  Please.  Now is good."  He hung up and checked the oven.  "Eric, I think this is done."

Danny came to look and nodded, hauling the ham out.  "Yup.  Speed, the veggies done?"

"Only need warmed, Danny."  He came in to finish that job.

Don went to talk to Xander.  "The daughter set the tree on fire."  Xander whimpered.  "They've got it down now.  Eric's father knows a good contractor who used to work for him but they're company's about out of options for work because we've had a mild hurricane season.  He called him because his people desperately need work."

"If they're good I won't care."  He held up a hand.  "Help me out?  We can cuddle later and soak?"

Don smiled, helping him up and helping him towel off since he still couldn't bend.  He looked at his back.  "It's still swollen, Xander."

"It's going to take hours, if not days," Xander said.  "Horatio was down for six weeks after his surgery and they said he could've been retired if they didn't do the surgery."

"Good point."  He helped him into some lounging pajamas then out to the living room.  Danny gave him a plate.  "Xander's still swollen there."  Danny handed over a second plate.  "Thanks."  He took a kiss and went out to eat beside his boy.  He looked at the tv.  "Still haven't replaced it yet?"

"Haven't had the time to."   He found the phone book and phone, using magic to call them over.  "I'm glad I can float a remote."  He found the nearest Best Buy.  "Hi.  I need to replace my tv tonight.  How late are you open?"  He beamed. "Thanks."  He hung up.  "They're open until ten."  Don grinned.  "Take the money out of the safe and go get something big enough."  He took a kiss and Don finished dinner quickly before bouncing out.  Xander sighed, wiggling some.  Horatio handed him a pillow.  "Thanks."

"Mine felt like crap for months," he assured him.  Xander nodded he remembered, putting the pillow behind him.  "Don?"

"Tv."

"Ah."  He sat beside him, watching the news.  "Well, the news crew couldn't get into the gates.  That's something."

"I still want to beat them both."

"They're blaming you for breaking the cruiser's window and making them want to cut themselves on the glass too," Speed said as he came in.  The fire truck pulled off.  "They're going to cite her too since the patrol guy caught the mom with gas and the daughter had the matches."  He sat down on Horatio's  other side.  "Back?"

"Still.  It'll be days."  He dug in, eating slowly.  Danny sat on his other side so he leaned against him.

"I found that letting Horatio lean forward helped a lot," Speed said.  Danny nodded, shifting them around so Xander was leaning forward onto his shoulder.  Xander gave him  a kiss and went still when the pain stopped.  They looked a the small bulge. "He blew his worse than yours, H."

"He did.  Mine was higher up too."  He moved to work on the pained area, getting a few whimpers but he quit tensing around the hurt area, letting it heal.  Adam walked in. "Heard on the news?"

"I did.  What happened?"

"Psycho neighbors," Xander said into Danny's shoulder.  "I love whoever's fingers those are."  Horatio smiled at that.  "I'd bear you babies but hey, infertile."  Horatio laughed.  "Thanks, Dad."

"Welcome, Xander.  We still have to look at the warehouse."

Ryan walked in wearing tight jeans.  "I heard over the scanner.  We not going?"

"He blew his back taking the ham out of the oven," Danny told him.

"Oooh.  Ow."  He came over to take Horatio's place.  "You eat, H.  I've got it."  He nodded, letting him have it.  "Hi, Eric's dad."

"Ryan.  Going clubbing?"

"We were going to go with Xander and his boys tonight," he said with a grin.  That got a nod.  "Are you going to fix the mess?"

"One of my boys owns his new company and they need work.  I'll pass this onto him."

"As long as he's good," Xander agreed.

"He's very good, Xander."  That got a slow nod and Ryan finished putting him to sleep.  He smiled at the poor boy.   "I threw mine once picking up the remote for the stereo."

"Don't remind me," Eric groaned.  Speed snickered.  "He complained for *weeks*.  My mother was going to sacrifice him."

"It was a near thing.  She was calling some satanists she said she knew."

Ryan looked over.  "I don't think she knows any real satanists.  She thinks everyone not catholic is one.  She still thinks I'm one."

"Well, yes," he admitted.

"Xander's as pagan as I am."

"We'll keep them from talking religion then."

"Might be good since Xander had some strange people in his past," Danny agreed.  Don pulled in driving Xander's SUV.   "Is it a bad thing he has a box sticking out of the trunk of the stretch Range Rover?"

"Probably," Speed agreed.  "Eric?  You're good with electronics?"  He nodded, going to help him haul those inside before they got too wet.  Speed was even nice enough to mount the new tv.   "Do I want to know how much that was?"

"No," Don said with a grin.  "Probably not."

"Am I going to need to play poker again?" Xander asked quietly.

"No, no need to play poker again.  It was under three grand."

"Good.  That works."  He turned his head to look at it.  "That's huge."

Don grinned. "It has a great picture too.  They had the one at the store hooked up."  He finished hooking in the cable lines and plugged it in, letting him and Eric handle the color, brightness, and other settings.

"Suddenly a Weird Al song starting to come to mind," Speed quipped.

Horatio looked at him.  "No more Weird Al. Please?"

"You like _Frank's 2000 inch tv_."

"Yes, but you were humming _Harvey the Wonder Hamster_ on the way to work this morning, Speed.  Please?"

"I-pod," Xander said, blinking at them.  "I got him new music."  Speed smirked and went to get it, coming out giggling while he listened to it.  He gave Horatio a hug.  "You'll like them."

"I'm sure I will."  He let Xander go back to resting against Danny.  Don finally got the settings right and the sound was up too.  "That nearly messed up my hair," he said dryly.  Don turned it down further.  "Thank you."

"He needs those eardrums to hear me yelling his name," Speed told him.

Xander looked at him.  "Do you two need my special brand of help again?"

"Nah.  We're good," Speed promised with a smirk.  "I have plans."  Xander grinned and went back to resting while he healed.

"Am I going to know about these plans?" Horatio asked patiently.

"Soon enough."  He smirked evilly at him then took a kiss.  He looked at the tv.  "Don, the red's the wrong shade for that show."

Don nodded, getting back into the settings to adjust the red contrast.  They ended up going back to the default settings and then back from there.  Eric called technical support to find out what the values should be for American cable tv.  They set it at it then had to adjust the brightness down but that was fine.  Speed shared one song with Horatio, earning a moan.  Don looked over.  "If that's about Mounties or Carrot Juice, I don't want to hear it."

"Carrot Juice," Horatio sighed.  He put the i-pod down  and kissed Speed again, making him forget about funny songs and his strange mood.  "Come on, we'll drive behind Don so we can give him a ride back here."  They nodded.

Don looked at Speed.  "Won't wreck it?"

"Hell no.  You wouldn't wreck my baby on purpose either."  Don handed him the bike's keys.  "I'll take good care of her.  Want me to bring the bike cozy?"

"It's good for her."  That got a nod and he went to pack it and the tarp in the back of the hummer then drive Don's bike back to his house.  They had a nice nook in the garage that the harley could sit in for a few days.

Eric's father went out to talk to his former guy, letting him see the mss and explain what had happened and what he knew about what they'd need.  That got a nod and they went inside to talk to Don.  Don handled the money, kind of, in the family.  The check was written out on a hidden, overseas account but it meant that the local guy couldn't have touched it.  Then he called Steve to warn him.  They decided to wire the money in the morning, getting the guy's agreement.  Steve had to be told the story and moaned, saying he'd put the check from the insurance company in the account.  Plus to press full charges before he hung up.  Don got to pick out the garage doors, keeping with the former theme since it was quirky but their house.  They liked their house the way it was.  That got some nods and the workshop's plans got pulled up when Don found them on Xander's laptop.  That got a smile and a nod.  They could do that.  Don put in that Xander might want to finish some of the inside himself and it'd have to be well insulated because they had cranky neighbors.

"Storage area," Danny called.

"Oh, yeah, and a storage area for whatever he's building this time."  He ran a hand over the desk.  "He built this for us."

"It's a beautiful desk," the contractor said with a gentle smile.  "Countertop?"  Don nodded.  "Good choice but nice."  They went to look at the mess again.  It'd take them a few days to do that and the ground to dry enough under a tarp to lay a new foundation for the concrete.

The Fist of Karma.

Xander woke up the next morning to equipment noises, wandering out to the kitchen to blink at the men working.  "Huh?" he asked the one watching.

"Good morning, Mr. Harris.  We're starting work on the clean up and new garage plus workshop."

"Don signed?"

"Don did sign, sir.  All we need to know is how much of your workshop you want to do.  We also went to look up your supply order to add to it and get it here sooner.  That way it's not wasted."  Xander grinned at that.  "It'll take us about two days to clean up the mess, then we'll tarp the area so it'll dry some over the weekend.  Then we'll get to work on the new foundation and concrete."  Xander nodded, humming some.  "You leave it in our hands.  It won't take us that long to do this job."

"Okay.  Need my tools?  I have some stuff in storage."

"We're putting on a small storage area for anything you're storing as well," he promised, showing him the plans.  Xander smiled because it was his plans.  "Detective Flack found yours on your computer."

"Good."  He beamed.  "My storage area is here," he said, writing down an address.  "Ignore the one bookshelf.  The shelf keeps breaking a screw for some reason.  I'm about to replace them all with brass ones."  That got a nod.  "That's where my power tools are.  You guys can use them if you need to."

"Thank you, sir.  That'll speed things up some."  He went to tell the boss, sending him over with a truck to get that and any extras laying around.  "The detective did leave the windows for your workshop up to you."

"Standard, energy efficient with screens."

"That's about what we figured.  Doors?"

"Bigger than standard?"

"We saw the desk, it's a great job," he said with a grin.  Xander beamed back and showed him the other stuff he had built.  "You have a good hand, sir."

"Thank you."

"We'll let you do whatever finishing you want after we put in the soundproofing, how about that?"

"That'll work," he said happily.  He walked out to see what was going on.  "Hi, guys.  I'm Xander."

"You were in pain and tired last night when I got here," the boss said, shaking his hand.  "We should have it done by next week.  It's not a hard job by any means."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks.  My babies need the shelter."

"We hope they'll be in by next weekend."  Xander beamed at that and nodded.  "Windows?"

"Standard.  Did you want an automatic door or not, Xander?" the first guy asked him.

"Um, one I can hold open while I carry would be nice, but a button to open it when I'm carrying stuff?"  That got a nod.  "Maybe barn sized and sliding?"

"We can easily do that and it'll go well with the front's motif."

"It was like that when we bought it."

"The house is a bit quirky in spots anyway," he said with a smile.  "He built a lot of the tables and bookshelves inside, boss."

"I heard he was working on some."

"I have one in the storage area that keeps breaking screws.  Ignore that one?"

"I can do that too," he promised.  He patted him on the back.  "It'll be next week before you have anything to do so go about your normal day."  He looked at the curious dogs.  "They've been good about staring but staying out of the way."

"They're very good guard dogs."  He petted them both and Hubert since he was out there. "Thank you."  He went to check the other things.  He'd have to get a new patio set and it looked like fix the deck to the hot tub again.  He sighed and went to call in a small bit of order to do that.  He needed to seal it anyway.  The animals came in to get fed while he ate breakfast, then went back to watching.  Xander went out to get the mail, smiling at the guards.  "Hi, guys."

"Hi," one said, handing over something.  "They're efficient."

"They are."  He smiled at the card.  "What's my package?"

"I don't know.  Per orders we sent it to the guys at the lab," he said.

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  The dogs are loose and so's Hubert.  I'm expecting another small delivery from Home Depot because I've got to fix the hot tub deck, again."  That got a nod.  "They're getting my tools and stuff from the storage area."  He waved at the truck coming in.  "See?  I'm going to work on the hot tub deck once I've showered and changed."  He looked down at his lounging pajama pants.  No shoes, no shirt, but lounging jammies.  "Don would yell if he saw me wandering around like this."  They laughed.  "Thanks, guys."  He walked back up there, waving.  "I'm getting stuff to fix the hot tub deck.  Have them put it over there please."  He went to shower and change, coming out with his old tool belt.   The stuff had come while he was fussing over his hair so he got to work fixing it, again.  It wasn't that hard of a fix.  The boards were pried off, replaced, then he got to work painting the sealer coat over it all.  He even used a hair dryer to make it dry faster so he could get the second coat on before it rained again.  One of the guys smiled at that.  "A trick I leaned.  I don't have a regular heat gun to dry it."  He shrugged and got back to work.  The dogs came over to see what was going on but he petted them before getting them out of the painting supplies.  "You'll be sticky, helmet headed dogs.  Go play in the yard!"  They went to play in the trees. They knew not to leave the daddy alone.

"Looks like you could use a support," one of the guys said quietly.

Xander looked then at him.  "The mini-fridge goes there whenever we use it.  It's in the office right now."  That got a smile and a nod.  "It even has wheels."  That got a laugh and he walked off.  "I have it braced behind there, just in case."  He got a nod and a smile.  Then he finished up and went to check on the pets.  Hubert was cuddling a ferret.  "Having a growing pain?"   He nodded.  "I'm sorry, baby."  He sat down to cuddle him.  "Are you going to be huge this time?"  He shook his head.  "Would a warm soak help?  It does when I hurt."  He went to run him a shallow bath in the tub, making him a happy dragon.  Then he went to haul the dogs back inside so they'd quit trying to help the officer who came up to answer the noise complaint.  "Can't I buy out both neighbors and make them move?" he asked the familiar officer.

"It's probably not ethical.  Plus think of the house taxes."

"Eww.  Don't remind me."  That got a nod.   He looked at the next lot then at him.  "Unless she's got a parabolic dish or she's got bat hearing, this can't be bothering her."

"She said it was.  The gate guards said she's cranky about any noise."

"Not like I'm going to do without a garage.  Don's bike could never come home and my babies need the garage too."

"I know, sir.  There's not going to be any write ups.  You do have permits?"

"I got them this morning," the crew chief said.  That got a nod.  "They're in the truck if you need them."

"As long as you have them."  He looked at Xander.  "You were right, it helped."  Xander smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  You needed it.  You can't be a tough, macho guy who's going to stop the lady with the gun coming through the hole in the fence if you're that tired."  He looked then rushed over to stop her before she shot someone.  Xander headed after him, helping him bring her down since she was struggling.  He got an amused look. "Like I don't deal with them," he said dryly.  The officer laughed and called it in.  "Why did they get bail?  They were doing arson."

"The judge thought they were misguided but not dangerous."

"Yeah," he said dryly.  "Missed that one by a lot."  He heard a shot and saw the officer wince, grabbing him after knocking the old lady out.  He grabbed his radio.  "This is Harris, officer down at my house.  GSW in his lower abdomen on his left side!  Suspect still here and armed!  Another one down without her gun!" he said, then put it down and put pressure on it.  Cop cars came screaming in a minute later and they pounced the lady trying to reload the ancient gun.  Paramedics came rushing over.  "It's in his side.  It's tilted in because we were both holding the older one while she struggled."  They nodded and took over for him.  He backed up, sneering at her.  "I'm going to see you in the chair for this.  Even if I do have to bankrupt myself."  They were led off.  The commander looked at him.  He held up a hand.  "He answered the silence is golden neighbor's noise complaint about the construction.  Guys, it's all right and handled," he called, realizing they weren't working.  They got back to work but stayed out of the way.  "The older one came through the fence with that old thing," he said, nodding at the gun.  "Since she was struggling I came over to help him hold her down.  Her daughter came out to shoot him while we were keeping her down.  Before he could call for backup.  It happened really fast."

"That's fine, Mr. Harris.  Are you all right?"

Xander looked at himself then at him.  "I'm fine.  She was aiming at him for some reason."  He looked at the daughter.  "She's not the one that got arrested last night."

"She's still making bail."  That got a slow nod.  "We'll be sitting a car at the gate."

"Talk to them, not me.  Delko's father recommended this crew and said they were trustworthy.  As long as the other one doesn't show up," he said, watching the car coming up the driveway.  "With a shotgun.  Gun!" he shouted, pointing.  Officers pulled and pointed at her and her shotgun.  "Put it down!"

"Give me back my mother and sister!" she shouted.

"Put it down!" an officer shouted again.  "Put it down and get on your knees on the ground!"

"I can have a gun at my own house!"

"Not when we just arrested them for shooting an officer you can't," Xander called.  He glared at her.  She glared at him and pointed it at him.  He ducked and pulled the commander down with him then got up and went for her once she had fired and was trying to reload.  He got her down while officers rushed to get their boss and her.  "You stupid bitch," he told her.  One of them tugged on his arm so he got off her.  "Have her.  Please!"

"Gladly."  He looked him over.  "You good?  You have blood on your arm."

Xander waved him off.  "I'm fine.  How's your boss?"  He got a look.  "Guys, I hunted and I've been injured before.  Even if it's a graze, it'll heal.   I probably scratched it when I rolled.  How's your boss?"  He looked over.  "He good?"

"He's fine, sir.  You know, some of us were going to shoot her."

Xander grinned.  "No you wouldn't.  That would've been a lot of paperwork and time off for the review.  It's always easier to pounce according to Don."

"Don...."

"He's Flack's wife," one of the other guys said helpfully.  "That's Harris."

"OH!" they said, nodding.

"Next time, sir, let the officers handle it," one ordered.

He nodded, walking off.  "I will.  Tell the one guy I said to feel better soon and I'll send him candy since I always wanted candy in the hospital."  They nodded, watching him go into the house.  The construction crew looked at them.

"It's all right," one said.  "Only two daughters in the family.  It's handled, go ahead and get back to work."  They nodded. "We're sitting an officer on the gate."  That got a more enthusiastic nod.  "And I'm not telling Flack his boy jumped that way," he told the commander.

"Let me."  That got a nod.  "Get the tapes from the cars?"  That got a nod.  "Thank you.  Take her too.   Whoever else is in the car as well.  If they're kids, we'll give them to the other parent."  That got a nod and they went to search the car, coming up with more gas, more shells, and another gun.   They bagged it all and headed back to the office to call the hospital until they found out how their boy was doing and if he needed blood or something.  They all smiled because when he came out he had candy he could suck on, a huge bouquet of lollipops and peppermint discs.  All sugar free of course in case another person stole some.

***

Don walked into the patrol commander's office.  "Problems, Sarge?"

"Six or seven.  Your boy's not suicidal, right?"

"No but he has jump in and enraged citizen syndrome really bad sometimes."

"Yeah, he did this morning too."  He showed him what they had taken off the cars.  "This was after the guy got shot this morning.  Your boy ran over to help with the struggling suspect."  Don winced.  "He didn't want us to fuss over the scratch or send him on to have it treated."

Don nodded.  "Yeah, he's like that."  He opened up his computer's browser and pulled up a file, showing it to him.  "Xander before the hormones hit him too hard."

He read it then glared at him.  "He did what?"

Don smirked and nodded.  "Yeah.  He'd make a hell of an officer if we could get them down.  We've been trying something experimental to keep them down at the moment but he's still a level ten and prone to surges.  The guy okay?"

"He's good actually.  It was an ancient dueling pistol and had crap for range."  That got a nod and a grin.  "Your boy saved his life then sent him candy."

"Yeah, that's about Xander for ya," he agreed happily.  "Everything okay now?"

"They were denied bail and booked on felony charges this time, plus the arson and attempted arson last night.  She only has two daughters?"

"Yeah.  That we know of.  Xander's threatened to buy her house a few times and tear it down for more tree space.  Plus the one on the other side who complains about every little noise."

"That's why he was there this morning.  Noise complaint from the construction."

"Not like we're doing without a garage."

"I know."  He leaned back.  "Can you train your boy to respond correctly?  A few of my guys were about to shoot her when he pounced.  We could've gotten him."

"I can do that," Don agreed.  "We can go over that and have Wolfe help us."

"Good!  That one's got some sense too.  Your boy told us we weren't going to shoot her because of the paperwork and the review.  He said you told him pouncing was always better."

"Leads to less paperwork," Don said dryly.  "Plus in New York you could pounce them into snow piles and stuff."  That got a laugh.  "So he's okay?"

"He's fine.  Just teach him better responses.  I want him to react by the book if something happens."  That got a nod.  "Good job so far though."  Don beamed at that.  "Go."

"Thanks.  Tell the guy I said to get better too.  I'll drop by on the way home.  Dade?"  That got a nod.  "Thanks, Sarge."  He left, going back to his desk.  "Xander helped arrest the ladies who shot at the officer responding to the crank's noise complaint," he announced.  "By pouncing."

Frank gave him a look.  "You can train him better."

"I can and will.  Has anyone heard from him?"

"Not in the last few hours," Ray said.  "The guy they said got shot?"

"They said he's fine, Xander already sent candy."  They smiled.  That was a very Xander thing to do.  "I need a list of situations so I can train him."

Danny walked over.  "Talked to Xander.  He said it was only a scratch from where he rolled.  Then I caught him in the lie and he admitted it was a graze but it's already closed and healing."  That got a nod.  "The guy that got shot is fine.  Not too deep, already closed.  Xander sent candy."  They nodded at that.  "The work crew thinks he's strange but good."  He shrugged.  "He fixed the hot tub deck too."  He handed Don a folder.  "From H and Speed."

"On my case?"

"Yup.  What else would I bring?"

"A list of situations we have to train him in the proper procedure for?"

"Could help," he agreed. "I'll start on the list and compare it to yours."  He walked off shaking his head.  "He did what?" he called back.

"Pounced when the shotgun went off.  With officers there and guns drawn."

"Yeah, we'll train that reflex out too," Danny agreed, going to talk to Wolfe and Horatio since they were in.  They could help him make the list and compare it to the others'.

Frank started to write.  Ray too.  He looked at his.  "No mounties down here, Ray."

"Oh, yeah."  He crossed that out.  "Sometimes it's really strange not seeing people in serge."  He shook his head quickly and kept working.

"I should get a copy of that tape," Don said, sitting down to call him.  "Hey, Sarge, Flack.  Can I have a copy of that tape?  It'll help us figure out what to train him for.  Thanks."  He hung up and shook his head quickly.  The normal delivery guy from Fu's came in with a bag, handing it to him.  "What did I do to deserve it this time?"

"He said you'd be in high fuss mode so you needed protein to sustain it," Paul said dryly.  "And his last poker bet finally paid.  It's in the car.  Want it here?"

"Please.  Am I going to get mad?"

"No.  Probably not.  The weapons warehouse is overflowing.  Might want to get the boss onto it."  He walked out to get the other bag, pulling it back inside with a groan of pain.  "I don't know what they paid him in but it's damn heavy, Flack."  Don tipped him a twenty.  "Thanks, man.  Have a good lunch.  We took it out of his last debt since he had a credit."  He walked off rubbing his shoulder and wrist.

Ryan saw him outside.  "Poker debt?"

"Last one," he agreed.  "Plus Flack's lunch."

"Wonder if he'll share."  He walked inside to look at the black bag, pulling on gloves.  "Have we tried to pick the lock yet?"

"Not yet," Don admitted.  He handed him the metal nailfile he usually used.  Ray saw the keys and handed them over.  "That'll work too."

Ryan unlocked it and blinked.  "Oh, holy shit," he said in awe.

Don leaned over to look.  "Tell me that's silver?"

"Can't," he said.  He checked the bag.  "Looks like sixty bars."  He rezipped it and checked the outer pockets.  He found a card.  "New arms dealer."

"Tell Horatio he needs to take Xander to the warehouse too.  Paul said it's overflowing."

"It wasn't," Ryan said dryly.  He stood up and checked.  "Wheels.  Nice option this time."  He wheeled it back to the lab.  "Horatio, Xander needs to hit the warehouse, it's overflowing and it wasn't the other day," he called as he walked.  He walked it into trace, where Speed was barely putting on his coat.  "The last poker debt."

"Why can't you lift it?" he asked cautiously.  Ryan opened it, putting the block in front of him.  He picked up the twenty-five pound brick, looking at it, then around it.  "Huh.  Think we can split one to see if it's pure?"

"Probably.  There's sixty."

"Good point."  He called Xander.  "It's me.  Your last poker debt paid off in platinum bars.  Like bricks, Xander.  Those things, yes.  Can we crack one to make sure it's pure?  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Get me one from the center."  Ryan stacked them on the table so they could do a count and mark serial numbers to check for stolen property.  He handed him one from off-side of the center of the pack.  Just in case someone tried to get sneaky and layer the fake ones in the center.  Speed checked the serial number, it was good.  He took a photo then he found a chisel and a hammer, cracking it down the center.  "I'll be damned."

Ryan looked.  "Pure platinum?"

"Pure."  He did a flake test just in case, getting the answer they expected.  "Yup, pure."  He looked at Horatio and Eric, who were in the door. "Pure platinum."

Ryan finished stacking with Eric's help, going over the serial numbers to make sure they weren't stolen.  Then they repacked them and took them to Danny so he could take them to the bank with Ryan riding shotgun.

Horatio walked out shaking his head.  Frank gave him a look and a smirk.  "Pure platinum bars.  Sixty-two of them."

"How much is that?"

"I don't know.  I'm sure Xander could buy out both cranky neighbors for orchard space."  He slipped into his sunglasses.  "Danny and Ryan went to the bank together."

"Probably a good idea."  He watched Horatio head out, shaking his head.  He'd almost miss the insanity of Xander playing poker.  Almost.

***

Danny walked into the bank, right to Miss Gold's office.  "Hey."

"Again?"

"His last, very last, poker debt.  We don't know how you guys wanna handle it."

"His jewelry vault is full."

"Oh, this isn't jewels," he said, letting Ryan in.  "We cracked one ta make sure it was pure."  She nodded slowly at that until Ryan set the cracked block in front of her.

"We checked the serial numbers already, just in case some of his poker buddies tried to pass stolen goods again.  They all list as being bought at First National," Ryan told her.

She let out a small, hysterical laugh.  "I hate him playing poker."

"So do we, that's why we finally made 'im stop," Danny told her, sitting down.  "No clue?"

"Not a one.  Let me call someone in our special metals department.  You know, I learn a lot about some of the other fields working with your family."  She called up there. "It's Miss Gold down on the floor.  I'm here dealing with the last of Mr. Harris' poker debts.  Platinum.  Bricks.  One's cracked to make sure it was pure.  His husband checked the serial numbers already.  Yes, we're here."  She hung up. "She heard about the sale of them."

Ryan grinned.  "I'm not sure if they were being cute about it or if they though Xander might like them since they're shiny and most of his jewelry is platinum."

"Who knows with some of them.  Who was it this time?"

"One of the assassins he played with," Danny told her.  "He had to wait until he got paid to make good.  Xander gave him a two week limit and it passed yesterday."

"Oh."  She nodded at the person walking up to her door.  "Sir," she said, standing up.  "These are Detective Messer, Mr. Harris' husband, and Officer Wolfe, both out of the crime lab and both of whom help Mr. Harris with his unfortunate poker habit.  This is his last poker debt that had to be paid."

"They paid him in what?"  Ryan handed over the broken brick.  "Just the one got broken?"

"We wanted to make sure no one was passing off counterfeit," Danny told him.  "That's why we checked the serial numbers too."

"He has quit playing?"

"Oh, yeah," Danny agreed.  "Though he did take the underworld for over thirty mil in his time playing.  Stopped a lot of people's bad plans for the city."

"Not to mention the one terrorist plot he helped us stop because the guy decided to pay him in a prototype warhead."

The Vice President of the bank shuddered.  "He turned them in?"

"He did it subtly but yeah," Danny agreed.  "He's got good tact but he got introduced to the wrong sort for the high stakes games he was playing.  Claims he was playing for gas money."  That got a nod.  "That's why we made him stop.  Twice."

The VP nodded.  "I can see that.  He's not doing anything illegal?"

"He's a level ten GHS," Ryan said quietly.  "He was bored."

"We have a few others who bank here based on his recommendation," he said, smiling some.  "Some very ...interesting folks.  Let me see what you have."  Ryan let him have the bag.  "How many?"

"Sixty-one and one cracked," Danny told him.  "We checked from the middle, off-center of the stack.  Just in case."

"We checked them all after the one guy who paid him in two-hundred-eight-nine kilos of cocaine," Ryan added.

The VP laughed.  "Yes, very interesting.  He was arrested?"

"Oh, Xander went on a rampage," Danny said with a fond smile. "Ruined him, ruined his connections, ruined his pipeline.  Xander saw playing poker as a way to help us do our job by taking the money they were using to do bad things away."  He crossed his legs.  "He was fantastic at it."

"I can tell.  Let me talk to someone.  We do keep a store of precious metals for currency purposes.  Give me a few minutes."  He went to make a call, leaving the bag there.  "It's Robert, at Miami Federal.  I did find out where your sale went.  It went to Mr. Harris, who banks with us.  His husband and a friend in the police department brought it in.  Yes, that would be Mr. Harris.  They cracked one to make sure it was pure and no one was trying anything funny.  All sixty-two including the cracked one.  If you wanted to we could arrange that.  He would be amenable I'm sure.  No, apparently Mr. Harris was using his poker games as stress relief and as a way to help his husbands now and then with some of the worst elements.  Mostly the former but when he got paid in drugs once he apparently ended a whole line of drug connections.  Exactly.  I heard who bought that one.  Hmm.  We're here.  We can do that.  Thank you."  He hung up and walked down there.  "Well, gentlemen, we do have an agreement.  The original bank is interested in buying it back.  So we can buy it from you, sell it back them, make a slight profit off the sale, everyone will be happy.  Say, ninety percent of worth?"

Danny looked at him. "Ninety-five.  Xander's going to be young and pretty for a very long time.  Plus wanted."

"I see.  I can't really go higher than ninety-three."

She coughed and showed him something.  "The current worth per ounce of platinum.  Each of those blocks is twenty-five pounds," she said quietly.

"Sixteen ounces per pound," Ryan said, doing the math in his head.  "Danny, take ninety- three.  It's enough to give me a headache from estimating."

"Fine, we'll take it," he said, holding out a hand.  They shook and he got the forms for them.  He looked at Ryan, who whispered in his ear, getting a nod.  "That's a lot of gas money, even for his SUV."  She laughed at that.  "Our garage got caved in last night then the neighbor whose tree fell set it on fire."

"I saw the report of the fire on the news.  Was everyone all right?"

"We were inside thanking God that the tree didn't hit the house.  The insurance guy was out there after Xander talked to a pro and they said the tree would fall any day then."

She nodded.  "He caught it as it fell?"

"On tape," Danny said with an evil smirk.  "The cops were there when she came over to light it on fire with the gas.  And when her daughter did light it on fire.  Then the noise from the clearing of the debris got a noise complaint and they showed back up, when the neighbor shot one of the officers, not fatally or seriously.  Basically went into the fat in his side.  Xander pounced the ladies and was highly upset.  He was thinking about buying both of them out."

"His land taxes are very high."

Danny nodded.  "Yeah.  The house is in desperate need of repair too.  You know anyone who wants to buy and restore a grand old house, there's probably going to be one up for sale since both daughters went with the old bat to prison this morning."

She nodded.  "I'll pass that around.  You do live in a nice, safe community."

Ryan smirked.  "A judge lives up the street.  She stomped up to his house and made him hear the complaint.  Xander had to follow when the judge called him.  The judge sided with Xander and told her to grow up too."

She laughed.  "Sounds like Spoiled by Miami syndrome."

"That's both our neighbors.  The other one has the ears that can hear ants moving at five hundred miles."  That got a nod.  "So we might have two houses open in the neighborhood."  The VP came back.  "Filling her in on some late breaking gossip."

"That's more than reasonable."  He let Danny look over the forms and sign for him.  "He would agree?"

"Yeah.  He can't wear 'em, spend it when he needs or wants ta shop, and can't decorate with 'em."  He shrugged.  Then he grinned.  "I can call if you want to make sure."  He nodded so Danny dialed the desk phone and put it on speaker.

"Hey, gorgeous," Xander answered.  "What's wrong?"

"Sixty-two platinum bricks, Xander.  You mind if the bank cashes 'em out at ninety-three percent of worth?"

"No, I'm good with that.  He paid me in platinum bars?"

"Yup."

"He must've thought I needed new sparkly stuff."  A sigh. "Sure, go ahead.  Thanks, Danny.  We did check the bag?"

"Yup, we did check the bag.  We did check the bars.  We even cracked one just in case."

"I love you."

"Good.  We'll have leftovers tonight and talk about earlier.  The cops said you did good but they wanted you go over what to do, just in case."

"Yes, dear."  He hung up.

Danny grinned, finishing the forms.  Ryan signed as a witness.  A guard came in to load the bricks for them, doing another count and letting the VP make note of the serial numbers on the forms.  Then the worth was put into his account and they headed off to go back to work.

Miss Gold looked at him.  "I learn a lot about other areas dealing with the Harris account.  We've had jewels, money, drugs that he took back and destroyed people for giving him.  Platinum.  A few gold and silver bars once.  They're in his jewelry vault.  Electronics."

He smiled.  "He does bring us a lot of money.  I checked his balances.  He's not diversifying?"

"His financial manager has ten percent of his net worth with us, sir."  He groaned.  "The rest are tied up in safe, long term, careful investments.  Safe over profits for him.  He'll need it if he's going to be kidnaped in his eighties.  Though he did think that two neighbors might be moving soon in his community. One house needs a lot of work but the other might be nice and your son was supposedly looking."

"I'll have him look there.  It sounds safe now that the one neighbor is gone."  He walked off to file the forms.

***

Horatio watched the corvette pull in and smiled at the bouncy young man getting out.  "Are you all right?"

"I got scratched when I rolled."

"Danny said he caught that lie already, Xander."

"Okay," he sighed.  "I got a graze from the second shot.  Yay me.  I took one for the commander so he wouldn't get shot too."

"We're getting the tape so we can go over what you're supposed to do."

"I reacted."

"I know.  That's what training is for, so you have the right reactions instead of the ones you used when it was a demon."  Xander nodded, walking over to the door.  "Calleigh changed them again."  He handed him the slip of paper.

"I thought you were."

"I have once.  She did this time."  Xander groaned, tapping in the codes so they could get inside.  He looked at the stacks of cases and the barely useable walkway.  "Xander," he said patiently.

"I only brought home ten new cases," he complained. A note floated down about them being presents.  "Ah."  He handed it back and started in the back. "Fuck, I need an expansion charm," he muttered.  He got to work sorting things out.

"You can afford a second section since this is your building."

"Steve said to rent the others out.  It'd cover the cost of the building over the next year.  We can put up a second floor."

"We can," he agreed, looking up.  "Easily?"

"Yeah.  Not that hard."  He kept looking.  "Hmm.  Ooooh, baby!"  Horatio stiffened, coming over to look.  "She saved my baby?"

"No, she did not.  She was there when it was destroyed."  He saw the evidence tag.  "Xander."  Xander pouted, giving him a pitiful look.  "Not if they're tagged."

"I can remove the tag."

"Xander."

"But..."  He gave him his best begging look. "I had him since high school, Horatio.  Breaking into the military base was one of the few good dates Cordy and I had."

"We'll see," he growled, going to call Calleigh from outside.  "Pull the records of the last burn.  Because I found things with evidence tags, Calleigh.  Hmm.  There."  He hung up and went back inside, going to sort out what they had confiscated before. Xander hoarded three of the seventeen pieces but the others were taken again.  She came in to note them.  They weren't on the list.  "Why not?"

She looked at the tags then at him.  "Those are ours.  They're out of sequence."

"Someone knew I needed my babies," Xander called.

She looked behind him. "This is a bit much."

"Yes, it is," Horatio agreed.  "Presents."

"Huh."  She looked at him.  "Now what?"  She called up the evidence tag from the back of the hummer on that computer.  "It's coming up no such entry."  She called the lab. "Speed, run an evidence tag for me?"  She read off the number and he read it back as he typed it in.  She shook her head.  "He said it's not in the system either."  She smiled. "That's where we are and it's not even on the paper copies I had."  She nodded.  "We need to."  He hung up and went to look.  "Do we think it was mundanely changed?"

Xander came out petting something.  "Yes.  The one who gave it back to me can't do things that way.  They had to call in a favor to get it here from the warehouse."  He went back to petting his other babies, dragging those back.  Then he got to work shifting boxes around so they were somewhat sorted.

Horatio nodded politely at the security guard.  "Presents."

"I know what's in there, sir.  The same as we know the PD has direct oversight of the collection he holds.  We do have a few empty spaces at the moment."  Xander came out to look around Horatio's arm.  "Sir."

"Hi, Doug."

"We have two empty spaces and you do own the building."

"Anything upstairs?"

"I wouldn't put something delicate up there, sir.  It's only metal.  We do have hurricanes."

"Good point but you can't put a bunker in Miami."

"I know.  Pity."

Xander grinned.  "Don't worry, I've got a spot for some of them."  He nodded and left them alone.  Horatio and Calleigh both looked at him.  "I do."

"Where?" Horatio asked.

"There's a nice bunker out at the farm."

"Where?"

"Under the barn.  That's why there's a ramp up into it."

"I see."  He gave him a look. "Fine, we can move some of it out there.  As long as we check that out so it's a safe spot."

"It doesn't have anything in it right now.  It's the hurricane shelter.  It's big enough to lead the horses down too."

"Good.  That means some of the bigger things can go."  He gave him a look.  "I'll check it out first."

"Okay.  It's the door beside Princess 2's stall."

"I'll look tonight, Xander."

"Sure."  He gave him a hug.  "I need a day on the range to weed out the crappy guns.  Half of those I found on sale and it was an impulse buy so I had something.  Now that I have more than something I can weed out the bad ones."

"We can do that," Horatio agreed.  "Once we move some of the higher things.  That way we can get to them."

"Sure.  My gun range is shut down so we have time."

"We can use the one I go to," Horatio promised.  Xander beamed and hugged him again, bouncing inside to look at more things.

Calleigh looked at him.  "What do we do about those?"

"We see if we can find any trace of them.  Xander said a few came from his only nice date in high school."

"He bought weapons on a date?"

"No, apparently they needed things and went to a local reserve base," he said quietly, glancing around.  She whimpered, mouth open.  "It was with Cordelia."

"No wonder."  She walked off rubbing her forehead.  She made sure the computer in the back of the hummer was off then went to check the progress Speed had made.  "Anything?"

"The tape of the log in was altered.  The original log was altered.  Your copies were altered.  The destruction order was altered.  The records we took before loading were altered.  The records at the furnace were altered."  He looked at her then at Stetler since he was in the doorway.  "We don't know.  We know that the ones that we have no records of but have tags for are back with the owner."

"He took them back?"

"Xander?"

Stetler sighed, coming in.  "What do we have?"  She gave him the list.  "Nothing on any of them?"

"I'm running the other tags now," she admitted.  "The one I called in has nothing."

"The count was even altered and it wasn't Xander and it wasn't us," Speed told him.  "The log book for the tape lists IAB, your office.  Your signature."

"My assistant," he said calmly.

"Probably.  Oh, and get this.  Some of them were from Xander's only good date in high school with Cordelia."

Speed shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "I have a headache."

"He was petting them and calling them his babies."  She looked at him.  Then at the computer.  "One of the evidence tags links back to a necklace from a B&E?"  She reran the number, finding it came up without even that.  She pointed at the computer.  "You tell me.  Xander told me the ones who gave it to him as presents didn't have skills like that."

Speed's phone rang.  "Speedle."  He listened, then put him on speaker.  "Repeat that please, McGee?"

"I said," he said, sounding amused.  "Tony's fine.  He nearly took a bullet for Gibbs today thanks to your Mala Noche hitter, who we have in custody.  Also, he said something about Xander's weapons being back?  He said he's welcome, it wasn't one of his poker buddies, it wasn't a favor or anything.  It was someone who saw him pouting about losing them and did it for him not even knowing who he was or what he was.  That's how he put it."

"Which hitter?" Stetler demanded.

"Jorge," Speed told him.  "When the director issue up there got too hot we found out he stopped over to admire the renovations then went to DC to make some contacts happy."

"Yup.  Xander heard about the hits so he sent Greg a list about a day before then.  We thought we had it solved but then he tried to personally take out Gibbs this morning.  Tony saw him.  Greg recognized him.  Tony pushed Gibbs down and got a graze.  Gibbs got a concussion from the concrete floor in the parking garage and Greg's still puking up his guts from where he shot Jorge in the thigh.  We're all good and he wanted them to know but I don't have Xander's cell number."

"He's with Horatio, I can tell him.  Does he know who took them and altered stuff?"

"Nope.  Not a clue."  His head turned away from the speaker.  "Guys, ask him again if he knows who did it.  Tell him Speedle's asking."  He apparently walked in there after the grumbling.  "Listen, dickwad, Speedle wants to know."

"He already knew.  Pretty clear who the dirty one was."  He blew a kiss.  "Tell the kid I'm sorry I won't get to see his next birthday and the fun they'll have out in LA for it.  Heard it'd be a massive blowout."

"I can do that," he agreed. "Want to name names?"

"No."

"Hand him the phone, McGee, or put it on speaker," Calleigh ordered.  He did that.  "Jorge, it's Calleigh."

"Ooh, the pretty blonde with the gun fetish."

"Who can out shoot you.  Who?  I want to know.  They fucked with *my* lab and they're going to get my foot up their hind end.  So you tell me and I'll tell Horatio you're being good up there.  Before he has to transfer files or demand Xander tell him things you probably won't like."

"Xander's a nice boy.  If you ask right he probably knows stuff he doesn't realize.  Let him know about missing his birthday."

"I will," she said, writing down what he had said.  It was probably important.  "Who?"

"Heard you guys had a party after you rushed into the twat's office to get him."  Stetler growled. "Aww, did they give you a K-9 puppy to go with the hunting gun?"

"No, that's Stetler," Speedle said.  "You know, if you confess, the BAU guys get to study you.  Keeps you out of solitary."

"Eeh, what do I care? It's been a wild ride and my name's on the honors list."  They heard a crunch then shouting and thumping noises.

"Please tell me he didn't just use a cyanide tooth?" Stetler begged.

"Can't," McGee said.  A few beeps and they quit hearing the room.  "Any ideas?"

"Yeah, a few," Speed said.  "Give me your number, let me get with Horatio?"

"We'll be trashing his room up here tonight.  We'll be down there tomorrow."

"Xander has guest rooms."

"That'll work.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.

Speed dialed Horatio from the desk phone.  "Pull over if you're driving, get Xander to come see you in the next five minutes."

"Why?"

"We talked to McGee.  Jorge tried to hit Gibbs, grazed Tony in the process.  Greg shot him in the thigh and has been sick since then," Calleigh reported.  "Stetler's assistant doctored the evidence without knowing who Xander was beyond the fact he was pouting.  And there's a problem on Xander's next birthday in LA.  Jorge said he'd hate to miss it because it'll be a massive blowout."

"All right," Horatio said.  "He's where and who has custody so we can hand over information?"

"He just broke a suicide tooth," Stetler told him. "On the phone."

"Crap," Horatio muttered.  "Xander!"  He came that way.  "Let me tell him, guys.  Anything else?"

"There is no sign anywhere of the evidence tags," Speedle told him.  "Not on the tape, the logs, the orders, nowhere."

"And that means what?" Horatio asked.

"For all the system knows they're fake," Stetler admitted.

"He has worse in here, Rick.  Make a decision and let me know?"

"I'll talk to the chief."  He hung up on him, looking at them.  "What were they?"  She handed over her list.  He moaned.  "Why?"

"Him having weapons scares the pissants who want to take him or challenge him," Speed said honestly.  "We all got taken to LA because Horatio found Xander's weapons and confiscated them."

"Damn it.  The Chief?"

"Knows.  Horatio and Mac wrote a few emails afterward saying Xander is allowed to have weapons, he is allowed to have them because they'll have direct oversight, and the Chief and any agent could blow them," Speed told him.

"Charming.  Let me get with him.  We'll have to add charges to my assistant's sheet."  He walked out, taking the list and information with him.  He found him just giving a statement with the press about his new nephew - the mayor's new grandson.  He caught his eye from the back of the crowd.  He finished up being happy and they walked off while Stetler waited then walked up there, handing over a list.  "My former assistant," he said grimly.  "The now former Mala Noche who liked and respected Harris said he did it without a bribe or even knowing who he was, just to make him quit pouting.  Which I can understand.  It's a pitiful thing when he does pout."

"Tags?"

"On but they don't lead anywhere.  He was thorough.  They checked every piece of documentation when they found them."

"They're powerful."

"Horatio said he has worse," he said quietly, glancing around then back at him.  "Horatio wants orders and we'll be going over the Mala Noche files tomorrow since that one that's now former just suicided after trying to hit a Fed.  We were on the phone with NCIS when he did it."

"Wonderful."  He grimaced.  "Horatio's supposed to be looking over his shoulder."

"Horatio said they were presents.  He saw them when they got back from *the* bazaar.  Then it suddenly grew."

"Hell.  Now what?"

"That's what they're figuring out.  He wants orders."

"Does he have to have them?"

"Speedle said that's why they were taken."

"Don't remind me."  He folded it up.  "No evidence anywhere?"

"One under a misdemeanor classification came up to a B&E.  Under felony none of them come up.  He even doctored the log-in tapes."

"A backup?"

"No.  Speedle was viewing the one that has 'backup' stamped in the corner."  He glanced around again. "One does lead back to his best date in high school with the shrew who used to come to visit him from LA."

"Oooh," he said sarcastically, chuckling the syllable out.  "Wonderful.  What do we want to do?"

"Horatio's all for taking them from him I think."  He called.  "It's me and the Chief."  He hung up.  "He said to give him ten minutes.  He's letting Xander rant about the Mala Noche."

"He knew him?"

"They were close poker friends.  The same guy who did the General, sir."  That got him a dirty look.  "Him.  Apparently he wanted the kid too but with the gang code he could never flip over that way.  So he turned it into respect and watching over him.  There also might be a problem coming up in LA soon."

"Can he hide them?"

"Horatio's looking over them now."

"Let's go to my office."  They walked up there, calling Horatio back.  "Is he better now?"

"He's down to mild complaining.  Apparently Xander considered him closer to a friend.  Wait in the hummer for me, Xander."  He walked off and Horatio sighed.  "If there's nothing but evidence tags, I don't know if we should confiscate them again or not."  The sound of beeps then metal opening.  "Xander!"

His voice came over.  "Huh."  He walked off humming, finding a card.  From farther away his voice came back.  "I have a whole shelf in my name at the demonic warehouse now.  They're all there but a few things."

"Few things?"

"Handguns since they heard me say I need to test them and weed out the crap pieces."  His voice was next to the phone again.  "The babies are up there.  This is mostly what I got at the bazaar.  The note says they'll hold it for me until I get somewhere better."

"What language is this in?"

"It's a common trade tongue.  We learned it at Devi's."

"Oh."  He handed it back.  "Sir?"

"Where is this warehouse?"

"Not on this plane.  The demons run it."

"I don't like that explanation much, Horatio."

Xander apparently took the phone.  "You know Madam Qui's?"

"Unfortunately," Stetler admitted.  "Vice hates that whorehouse.  You were learning a different dance there if I remember the rumors correctly.?"

"I was.  The green skinned thing that guards the door and takes the money?  His kind run a warehouse for supplies from some of the biggest demons stores.  They gave me my own shelf until I can get somewhere bigger and secure.  How did I get my babies back?"

"My assistant saw the pout and decided to cure it without knowing who you were," Stetler told him.  "So said Jorge."

"Huh."  He leaned against Horatio's side.  "I don't know, guys.  I didn't ask.  I didn't hint.  I went home to pout after suggesting Calleigh could have the handguns and things she could save.  Danny fed me ice cream and I snuggled in to pout at them and tell them where some of them had come from.  Don got up and walked off halfway through because some of them came from the date where I took Cordy, Willow brought Oz, and we went to break into a reserve base to get Buffy something to deal with a world-ending issue in a mall.  It was my best date ever in high school.  Though I do like the ones Don takes me on better.  Less snark and meanness as foreplay."

"Must you keep them in Miami?" the Chief asked.

"Do you really want the whole family to be taken and sold again?"

"No."

"Then yes, I must have weapons in Miami.  Enough to blow up the fucking things if they show up and to handle anything that shows up to eat Miami."

"Jorge said something about missing your birthday in LA.  He heard it'd be a massive blowout."

"Aw, fuck, not another apocalypse," Xander complained loudly.

"The fact you talk about them like it's a common thing worries us," Stetler said.

"That was Sunnydale stuff, guys.  About every six, eight months or so we had one.  Someone was always trying to get more power by doing stupid stuff or trying to end the world so they'd be on top when the prior inhabitants came back.  Oh, Stetler.  I have heard Buffy is back in Sunnydale with Willow.  I have heard they're staying there.  This way we have her power and skills so I don't have to go back to saving the world.  Because we all know I get a bit scatterbrained some days."  The sound of a gentle slap.  "I do!" he defended.

"Quit putting yourself down, Xander."

"Yes, Horatio."

"Thank you."  He took his phone back.  "I'll leave this open to discussion.  This is beyond our protocol.  They are special to him.  I know he's not going to use them on the news station building downtown to make a point.  If he has to pull one of those out in Miami there will be an emergency.  Hopefully one that would need the National Guard."

"Yeah, definitely unless they come from me personally then I'd take the weapon to their realm and beat their asses up there.  I should go blow up the head incubus to free Ryan."

"He's not Wolfe?  The one we have?"

"A few succuba started to nibble on him," Xander told him.  "We thought we had him free.  Now we figured out he's been keeping me out of backlog by nibbling on the extra I'm putting out.  I'm still figuring out how I'm going to get him free.  Half of my books are packed in trunks."

"We'll do what we can to get him free," Horatio assured him, stroking over his shoulder.  "Sirs?"

"Let me think, Horatio.  I'd rather not have them here."

"Who says I won't get given worse?" Xander asked.  "I didn't buy two-thirds of what was in here, sir."

"Why are they gifting you now?" Stetler asked, sounding put out.

"I kinda saved the bazaar from the demon trying to eat them and destroy things by killing it."

Stetler rubbed his forehead and hung up, looking at him.  "He does that. That's his old life."

"I'm rather glad whatever's going on is going to go on over there."

"Me too.  I'll leave you to figure out what to do about him this time, sir.   I'm going to amend my former assistant's charge sheet with new charges."  He walked off, heading to the prosecutor's office to do that.  Talk about not amused.

***

The family came together that night for dinner.  "They were right, the warehouse is packed.  Well, was packed.  Now it's up on the demonic warehouse plane and I have my own shelving unit apparently until I can clear a better space.  Horatio is going to let me weed out some of the crappy handguns I have stored."

"Calleigh or my lab might want them," Mac said.

"Of course.  I'd hand them to you, let you decide.  She's already gotten presents this year."  Xander gave him a look, getting a smile back.

"Further complication is NCIS is coming down tomorrow to go over the Mala Noche information we have," Speed said.  "Xander, do you want them to stay here?"

"They can if they want to but Hubert will expect to see one of the two ladies since he's still pouting over them.  Oh, and we're in a growth phase again."

"Good, means he'll be as big as the one in the picture Greg shows," Tony said as he walked in.  "Early flight.  His hotel room was a bust.  Do we know where they hide down here?"  He gave Xander a hug around the throat.  "I'm still fine."

"You and me both," he said with a grin.

"What did you do?"

"Pounced the neighbor who shot a cop and her daughter who was going to be shooting at cops," Don said.

"We can train better responses into him," Horatio reminded them.

"We'll work on it this weekend while the boys are gone at the convention," Mac told Xander.

"Okay."  He shrugged.  "If you're that bored."  He looked back at Tony.  "Did you specifically need all of them, just his crib, any particular others?"

"All of them," Tony said.  "They pissed us off.  They shot at Gibbs.  Gibbs said they all go or we get to blow them up."

"Hmm.  Maybe that's the start of the new apocalypse."  He shook his head and got up to call out there.  "Hey, Wesley, the man I wanted to talk to.  Well, two issues," he said, walking outside.  "I got a tip that near my next birthday, you guys are having what the guy called a massive blowout.  Yeah, I do think he was right.  Well, he was a gang member, he knew a few demons, and he respected me for being the badass poker playing gay man I am," he said dryly.  "I don't believe it.  Don, they made bail again!" he called, walking in the other direction.  "So we think you're having one and I was warned I'd be having fun too.  Exactly.  It sounds like a National Guard moment.  Well, she is back in Sunnydale with Willow.  I can work beside them and then leave again, Wesley."  He walked around the side of the house.  "No, the other problem?  How do I detox someone who was starting to turn into an incubus?"  He smiled.  "Yeah, that way.  We did that already.  He's not reacting to holy water but he's still sucking off my vibe when I start to overload.  It's nice, I'm back to doing some construction work again.  Other than that, it's nice in other ways but he's a good friend and I don't want him hurt.  Half of mine are still in trunks.  Remember the kidnaping?  Yes, that one.  Do we know what Giles was doing?"

He smirked.  "I have those books.  Sure, I'm here.  They're in trunks.  Bring me the info?"  He beamed.  "That'll work.  Please?" he said cutely.  "And tell them yes I am coming for the convention with my whole protection detail."  Wesley said that and Angel went on a rant.  "Yay him.  I'll be stopping by to ooze hormones all over him so he finally gets laid, without getting too happy of course."  He beamed.  "That'll work.  Yup, same fax number.  If I have an inventory list I'll send it.  If not, I'll do one.  It'll give me something to do tomorrow.  You sure?"  He nodded.  "He did and he's devoted to Ares but ... yeah, him.  Exactly, Wes.  And we did that.  He did that.  Ares did that.  Now we're stuck.  You sure there's....  Okay.  Thanks.  Let me know what you need me to do."  He hung up and turned around, looking at the woman with the shotgun.  "Tell me they didn't let you buy more," he demanded, his finger pushing the button for a speed dial.  It should go to Danny.  "I mean, you try to shoot a cop and they let you buy *more* guns?  That's just wrong.  And how are you out on bail?"

"You're destroying my family!" she yelled.  "It's your fault!"

"The tree limb was causing damage," he said, staring at her.  "It was only one limb.  The tree itself was rotten.  The limb was rotten.  Even the tree guys I had come prune mine said yours was rotten and going to fall over soon.  You're still paying for the damage your tree caused my garage!  Then you and your family caused my garage!  Get a fucking life, lady!"  He heard footsteps.  "I mean, really!  A limb does not create the need for you to start pulling arson tricks or shooting cops."

"If you hadn't cut it down, everything would've been just fine," she sneered, cocking the shotgun.

"No, it still would've fallen and you still would've been paying my ass back for damaging my garage.  If you don't like it, fuck off."

"Down!" Mac shouted.  Xander ducked and Mac shot her.  Non fatally.  In the shoulder.  She still screamed.  The shotgun still went off.  Xander still ended up dead.  Fortunately, he was still immortal.  "Crap.  Horatio!  Don!"  They came out, Don and Horatio grabbing Xander to take him into the bathroom so he could resurrect in peace while Mac called someone to come take her.  He sneered at her.  "You're creating a lot of trouble."

"He's still dead and they'll have to move."

Danny came out then sliced into his hand, letting her see it heal.  "We gave him the same gift.  It's all part of how we're married," he said with an evil smirk.  She shrieked and tried for him but her shoulder meant she wasn't moving too much or too well.  Pity.  Danny slugged her and knocked her back down.  "You destroyed your family over a limb on a dead tree.  Do you feel proud of yourself?"

"He's still dead."

"Yeah, so was I about two hundred years ago."  She stared.  He smirked.  Then he looked at the house. "Don?"  He opened a window in the bathroom.  "He good?"

"Bullet's out.  He's healing.  We're checking the tumor tomorrow."  Xander gasped and sat up.  "Easy.  Easy, babe.  Just calm down.  Deep breaths."  Xander panted until he calmed down.  "That's my boy.  Come on."  He got him into the shower, which let her see him up and walking on his own, just holding onto Don's hand.  She wailed and covered her head, babbling into the ground.  Don looked out again.  "You mind?  I already had a headache."  He shut the window.

Danny smiled at the cop rushing around the front of the house.  "She tried ta shoot Xander.  Grazed his shoulder.  He's in the shower cleaning it off.  Mac shot her."

"How did she get out?" Mac demanded.

"Same judge as before."  The patrol officer shrugged.  "We don't know, Detective.  I'm not sure he knows."

Xander leaned out the window, looking at him, a bandage over his shoulder for show.  "You can tell the judge I'm suing his ass for endangering my fucking life.  I've had enough.  She comes back and I collect weapons.  I'm sure I can make her a very hard puzzle for my family of CSIs to figure out."  He slammed the window again.

"He's pissed," Danny interpreted.

"I can tell.  Good job on the bandaging."

Danny grinned.  "He's quick to stop bleeding and Flack's got 'im at the moment."

"He heals!" she said, pointing at Danny.  "The vain, dangerous one died and he heals!  He said he's over two centuries old!"

"Listening to us while Xander works on something else ta write?" he taunted.  He beamed at the officer.  "He submitted his first one, which was porn, but he's working on real stuff now."

"I hope he gets published.  It'll give him something else to do."  He looked at the next house over.  "Think we have more witnesses?"

"Don't know.  Do we really need 'em?"

"No."  He pulled her up and cuffed her.  "The shotgun?"

"Hers," Mac said. "Want my weapon since I got her in the shoulder?"

"No, if we need it, IA can call, Detective."  He walked her off, shotgun being walked out by Danny.  "Thank you.  What started this?"

He pointed at the gap in the stone wall between the houses.  "They had a tree there.  One of the limbs tore a hole in the roof of our garage.  Xander, within the law, trimmed that limb.  He found it was rotten.  He got screamed at and she called someone.  The patrol guy told her it was over the fence on our side, it was causing damage, he's within his rights to trim it."  That got a nod.  "The next day, Xander had tree people in to trim ours where they were over the fence in front.  He had them look.  They said it wasn't just the limb, it was the whole thing.  By then it was leaning about forty, forty-two degrees toward the ground.  Xander, hearing that, called the insurance guy.  Who got out here in time to tape it falling.  It crashed the garage.  Her mother came over a few hours later, after calling the cops again, and started to pour gas on it."  The officer moaned.  "They stopped her before she lit it.  Her daughter lit it instead.  Then this morning, they were out on bail.  They came ta shoot the officer who responded to the other side's neighbor who has bat hearing and complained about the guys clearing away the mess they had created."  That got a small laugh.  "He got shot by one.  He and Xander pounced the old lady first.  This daughter got him.  They got her down, Xander called it in, then the other, the arsonist daughter comes out when all the other officers were here and tries ta shoot Xander.  Xander pounces before the officers can shoot her.  They're arrested and she's out on bail again!"

"I'm going to put it as attempted murder," the officer said.

"It was this morning, against ten cops on scene and one civie.  And she still got bail!"

"I'll get her to a different judge.  He's not on tonight."

"Our neighbor is one; he got an earful from the old lady the first day and he told her Xander was within his rights to cut the annoying tree branch."

"We'll see who's on then."  Someone woman came stomping over through the back yard.  "You are, ma'am?"

"I'm their other neighbor and I want you to make them shut up!  I don't care what sort of immortal, self healer, new age person, whatever they are.  They're annoying!  They're loud!  Their dragon complains all day.  The dogs bark, the construction is *extremely* annoying."

"Then move," Mac told her.  "People are allowed to have normal levels of noise in their houses.  That includes fixing things when they fall in."

"Yeah, especially since Spots don't bark at all really.  Unless there's an intruder or something.  Someone new or they're playing ball with Xander.  He hasn't had the energy recently."

"The dragon grumbles?"

"Hubert!" he called.

"See, noise!" she said, pointing at him.

"It wasn't that loud, ma'am."  He looked at the lizard waddling out.  "Uh-huh."

"That's our dragon.  Hubert, grumble for him."  The dragon gave him a look then made complaining noises.

"See!" she said.

"Ma'am, that's well within the tolerable level for personal noise," he said.  "You can have up to a hundred decibels.  That's barely ten.  If that."  She gaped at him.  "I don't know why you can hear that from your place but perhaps you should see someone in case it's serious."  She huffed off again.  "Have many problems?"

"Every week," Danny said dryly.  "The lawn boys, everyone else's lawn boys.  She filed nineteen complaints this week alone.  Six on us thanks to the construction and this stuff."  He waved a hand at the debris.  "Xander keeps saying he's going to buy them out so he has room for a bigger orchard."

The officer snickered, then glared at the woman trying to rock the car to get out.  "Quit, now."  He looked at him.  "Good luck with her."

"Personally, I think it's drugs."  They all flinched at the sound of a shot.  "That was her house."  They went running that way, finding her having shot her maid.  "What did you do!" Danny shouted, his gun up and pointing at her.

"She was humming.  Noise is evil!" she said, pointing the gun at them.   The officer shot her before Danny could.  "Finally," she sighed, sinking to the floor.  She took her maid's hand.  "Now it'll be quiet."  She faded off.

Danny looked at him.  "Want me ta call it in?"

"Please," he agreed.

"Backyard, officer," Mac ordered.  "Not in here.  The nightshift CSI will be pissed if you puke in here."  He nodded, and Mac noticed Don and Xander had made it over so they were helping him calm down.  He called it in. "This is CSI Taylor.  We have a homicide/suicide by officer at 14 Grove Way.  Next door to him.  The one who makes the noise complaints, yes.  She shot her maid, the officer responding to our shooting got her.  He's out back.  Send the ME and CSI.  Thank you, Dispatch."  He hung up and looked at Danny.  "Bored?"

"Nah, never with Xander."  He went to check on him.  "You good?"

"First time," he admitted.  Xander came back carrying a glass of water and some crackers.  "Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"You're welcome.  It's a hard thing to have to shoot someone."  He sat down beside him, babying him for now.  The officer gave him an odd look when he hugged him but oh well!

Mac went to let the officers and CSI in.  "The one who shot is in the back.  The one who shot at Xander is in his car in Xander's driveway.  I'm the one who grazed her."  That got an odd look from the CSI.  "Want it from the top?"  She nodded slowly so he started over from the tree incident yesterday.

It was going to be a long night for CSI, she could tell.

Stetler stomped in.  "The patrol officer, Taylor?"

"Out back being babied by Xander since this is his first one."

"It's going to be a long night," he sighed.  "The one in his car?"

"I shot her when she went tried to shoot Xander for the tree.  Apparently cutting off a limb that was damaging the roof of the garage destroyed their family."

That just got a nod.  "I heard about that part of it earlier.  One came back?"

"The daughter that wasn't involved in the arson got bail after shooting people earlier."

"Hell!"  He walked that way.  "Someone get her checked in on attempted murder charges.  Now!"  An officer ran to get her out of the car and do that before he bit someone.  He stomped into the back yard.  "Get off the officer, Harris."

"I'm making him feel better."

"I don't care!  I doubt he needs petted like your dog!"  Xander huffed but let him go.  "Flack, take him home, baby him.  He's in the way."

"Need his statement from earlier?  Or why she shot herself?"

"No.  Taylor can give it."  That got a nod and he led Xander off.  He waited until they were gone to look at him.  "You're welcome."

"It was nice.  My mother was that fussy.  She was also shorter and fatter, but he makes a good mother."

"Thankfully he's not fertile so he'll have pets.  What happened as of when you got here?"

He cracked a smile.  "You heard about the tree too?"  Stetler growled.  "She apparently made bail.  Came over with a shotgun to get Mr. Harris.  She grazed him, Taylor grazed her.  I pulled in and followed the shrieking and wailing she was doing to find her.  They had Harris inside cleaning his graze.  Taylor and Messer helped me get her to the car.  Is she still there?"

"I had someone take her in.  Then?"

"This neighbor comes over to complain about the noise.  The dogs bark now and then.  The dragon grumbles, he squeals.  I told her the acceptable level limit once it was verified how loud some of those noises were.  Messer doesn't yell that loudly around the house.  The dogs aren't that loud.  The dragon grumbles very quietly.  Is it really a dragon?"

"Who knows.  Harris found it on a trip with Wolfe.  And?"

"She came back here after I gave her the hundred decibel answer in the statute.  She shot her maid.  We responded to the gunfire.  She pointed the gun at us.  I fired first, getting her.  She said something like 'finally', sank to the floor, took her maid's hand and said 'now it'd be quiet' then died."  He turned green.

"Use a bush."  He went to do that.  He walked back inside.  "Anything showing she was on drugs or there's something that amplifies sound in here?"  The CSI shook their heads. "She was complaining about the dragon grumbling next door."

"Not that I've heard, Sergeant.  Let us do our job and we'll know."  He nodded.  "The officer?"

"If his story checks out, he's clear."  He went next door, finding Danny in the kitchen.  "Who was in there with him?"

"Me an' Mac."  He looked at him.  "Here, tea for his stomach.  I remember puking grandly after my first one," he said at the odd look.  "Mac?"  He walked it over.  "We can go over there.  Don and Horatio have Xander in the living room."

"Good."  He walked him over there.  "You didn't shoot?"

"The officer's elbow was sightly in my way.  I had ta move first.  I was shifting when he fired.  Mac was behind him."

"Will you need my gun for the first one?  I had Speed bag and seal it."

"Probably."  He looked at them.  "From the top."  The officer sipped his tea, holding his head.  "Including you."

***

Horatio watched Rick stomp back to his car, handing him the brownie.  "Xander said you needed chocolate," he offered with a small smile.

"Your boy is strange."

"He's gentle.  It's surprising with all he's seen.  We like that about him."  Rick took the brownie, shaking his head.  "Mac's shooting?"

"Reasonable.  So was the officer's.  Any idea what was wrong with her?"

"She reported the noise from the end of the community, Rick.  We were all wondering if it was a tumor, drugs, or she was like that one guy's dissertation."  That got a groan and another bite eaten.  "Did we make a decision about his weapons?"

"I left it in the Chief's hands.  Nag him tomorrow.  Anything else I should know?"

"The other two got given bail for some reason as well.  Which judge was it?"

"The one you nearly arrested for homicide."

"Did arrest."

"I'm suing him for endangering my life," floated out of the house.  "I've had enough."

"And he's still in a bad mood."

"That means they're calling off tomorrow?"

"They haven't decided yet."  He gave his nephew a smile when he pulled in.  "Let us know if you need more help."

"I will."  He walked off finishing his brownie.  The kid had a point, it had made him feel better.  He wasn't feeling drugged, just better and calmer.  It'd help when he had to finish doing the reports.

Ray Junior got out of his car and pointed.  "He was being civil.  Is there an apocalypse?"

"Next year on Xander's birthday but it's in LA,"

"Good to know.  I'll watch for more signs of it getting nearer."  He walked over.  "It was all over the news.  What happened?"

"The tree family then the noise woman," he said quietly.

"Damn."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Let's calm him down."

"He made some excellent brownies."

"Cool.  I could use some chocolate."  They walked in through the front door and got pounced, smiling at Don. "Hi."

"Hi.  I was hoping you weren't intruders since it seems to come in threes."  He got off him.  "Brownie?"

"Could, yeah."  He walked that way, giving Xander a hug.  "It'll be all right."

"It's an election year, right?"

"Yeah. And he's up for it too.  He has to be reelected every four years I think."  He took his brownie.  "Do you like any of the other candidates?"

"Horatio, pick a candidate for me to help," he called.

"For which office?"

"Anyone but that judge."

"Perkins sounds nice but Nichols was better on crime," Speed said.  "She was by the book.  She was tough as hell, but we're not sure Perkins will be better."

"Sure."  Xander smiled at them.  "Thank you."  He gave them all kisses.  "I'm going to soak with some of the brownies."  He took most of the plate with him to the bathroom, finding Danny had run him a warm bubble bath.  "Thank you!"  He stripped and slid in with a small moan.  It was nice.  Very nice.  And his boys had done it for him.  That was good spoiling coming from them.

Danny came in and shut the door.  "Want cuddled?"

"Could."  Danny stripped down so he could climb in behind him, letting Xander rest against his chest.  "Nice."  He snuggled in, feeding him bits of brownies and just enjoying the night.  "Did I steal your bubble bath?"

"You're my favorite soaking toy.  I ran it for us."  Xander beamed and kissed him, then fed him another piece of brownie before nibbling on the rest.  Danny calmed him down, stroking his back and arms, until he was sleepy.  Then he got them out, dried off, and into bed.  "Night, Xander," he whispered.

"Hmm, night, love you."

"Love you too.  No nightmares."  Xander nodded, wrapping himself around him.

***

Xander walked into the candidate's office.  "Hi.  I'm royally pissed at one of your competitor's actions on the bench.  Would you like to know why so you can use it to help him get off his seat?"

"What did one of them do?"

"Let the person who shot at me and about ten officers out on bail.  After there had been incidences the day before including arson."

"That's bad," she said, smiling at him.  "Tell me everything please.  You are?"

"Xander Harris.  I live by Judge Overton and he's a sweet guy."  He sat down, pushing over the one candidate's picture him.  "He's the one who repeatedly let out the insane person who called the cops because I trimmed a nuisance tree."  She stared.  "It tore a hole in my roof.  She called the cops.  The cops agreed it was within my rights.  The next day, the tree fell.  She came over with a can of gas."  She moaned.  "It had demolished my garage so, you know, insurance guy was even taping it.  The officer pounced her, put her in the car, her daughter came over to light it on fire while he was dealing with her trying to escape.  He arrested them both and the fire department had a short bout to deal with."

Her mouth opened slightly.  He held up a hand.  "He gave them bail for arson.  Intentional arson.  Then yesterday morning my neighbor shows up with a gun.  The same officer's there because the neighbor on the other side hated noise and I had people in to clear the debris.  She complained about lawnmowers six blocks away so they were used to it and I was about to offer him coffee, when he spotted the gun.  He pounced, she was still struggling so I pounced.  He got shot in the side by the daughter that hadn't been in on the arson .  Thankfully she was using a weak, antique gun with very little range so he's fine.  I called in that he was downed, officers came.  Her other daughter came out with a gun to try to shot the new officers and me.  They arrested her!  He gave them all bail!"  She moaned.  "Exactly!  Then the daughter who hadn't done the arson came back last night to shoot me again!  And he tried to talk to the other judge so he'd give her bail again!"

"Do you know why?"

"Horatio Caine is like a father to me.  He's helped me, mentored me, he loves me like his son.  I spoil the lab and their homicide department rotten.  Horatio caught him doing bad things and even though the verdict was a hung verdict, he was still doing bad things.  He hates that Horatio caught him.  He shouldn't be on the bench if he commits homicide."

"No, he shouldn't.  We'll have to look into that, Mr. Harris."

He handed over something.  "I filed a restraining order against them coming near me and that's the paperwork from that.  You should be able to get the paperwork from there.  Also my lawyer is filing a civil complaint against him for endangering my life.  I believe in the theory of 'you fuck with me and I make your last few minutes miserable before you shoot yourself'."

She laughed.  "We'll gladly help.  Why come to us?"

"Speedle said you're fair and you're tough but you knew what you were doing.  I'm not so sure the new people will.  Because if someone had known what they were doing, they wouldn't have gotten out on bail."

"Good point.  Thank you for this."

"Oh, please, spread it around!  He liked Perkins too, Judge Nichols."  He got up and shook her hand.  "As long as he gets off the bench, I'm good with nearly anyone at the moment.  Not the anti-gay people but anyone this side of a trained chimp.  He said you were better than that though so I'll assume he'd know."  He grinned and walked off.

She considered it.  "That was actually high praise from Speedle.  He called me a trained chimp once for following the book."  She went to tell her campaign manager, taking the tape she had made with her.  Plus the paperwork.  Someone was seriously angry with that judge.  Pity.  Good for her but pity for him.  "We have a good ad against him!" she yelled as she walked.

"Tell me it's going to push us back up there?"

"He let people who shot at cops out on bail because he was mad the crime lab caught him killing someone."  Her campaign manager squealed and hugged her, so she let her listen to the tape.  Yeah, that would work.

***

Xander looked at the gang members.  "Oh, let's not do this!" he complained.

"Just because he liked you...." one started with a small sneer.

Xander looked at him.  "Ignore the hair for a minute, guys.  I helped take down a military unit that was using torture on my former town's people."  They stared.  "*That's* why Jorge liked me.  Now, he left information on what was going to happen in LA?"  Someone tossed over an envelope, making him catch it.  "This it?"  He nodded.  "In his pad, all that?"  That got another nod.  "Good.  Thank you.  Oh, don't shoot the Feds.  I'll get pissed and have to react."  He looked at a nearby trash can and lit it on fire then back at them.  "Understood?"  They all stared then one nodded slowly.  "Thanks," he said with a sweet smile.  He got back into his corvette and headed back home to look the information over and send it to Wesley.  Then he went to do the book inventory.  He really needed to do one anyway.

"Did he just..." the one who had tossed the envelope asked.

"Yeah.  Jorge said if you fucked with him he got you back triply.  He was the rule of Karma."  They all shuddered.  "Yo, lights," he called, spotting them.  The hummer pulled up first and Horatio got out.  "Wow, you really brought your boys," he said dryly.

"Insecure?"

"I'll still shoot you this time," he said.  "Against the wall."  They tried to move but SWAT was there, a lot of other officers were there.  They weren't going to be able to run.  The Feds got out last and walked over.

"Why were they outside?" Tony asked quietly.  "This isn't normal gang behavior."

Horatio pointed at the burning trash can.  Then he looked at the one he had to threaten last time.  "Xander come down to see what's happening on his birthday?"  They all nodded.  "Well, Jorge did shoot at some of his favorite people."  They all moaned.  Jorge had been right!  Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "Let them tell you."

One looked at him.  "They said fucking with your little boy toy brought Karma down on you.  Usually he enforced it to make it worse!"

"Then you'd better be happy Jorge didn't kill me and only grazed my senior agent."  He pointed at Tony.  "Then got shot by Sanders."

"His Greggy," Horatio said with a smirk.

"Mine now," Tony reminded him.  "And Xander's the only one who gets away with that name."  The rest of the guys moaned. "Yeah, we're extended family.  One guy started to cry but the others beat him until he stopped.  "Hmm.  Interesting."

"Very," Horatio agreed.  "Where is Jorge's crib?"

"Coming from a guy your age the lingo sounds wrong, dude," one person yelled.

Horatio glared at the cop until he shrank back and went back to cuffing and patting people down.  "Don't make me get Xander down here to see if he knows."  They all moaned and one pointed.  "Thank you.  Take them.  Frank is waiting on them."  The officers got them into the truck for transport and headed back with escorts while Horatio and the NCIS team took down the apartment to toss it for information.

"We do have a warrant?" Gibbs asked.  Horatio held it up.  "Good, it'll cover their places too."

"Got a warehouse, boss," Tony called.

Horatio looked.  "Xander's."  That got a groan and they kept going.

"Found the shrine," Gibbs called.  They looked.  It was a good shrine to Xander in a closet.  Especially him playing cards or firing guns.  "At least he liked him when he was tough."  He pointed at one.  "Horse picture?"

"He likes to ride."  Horatio stared at them.  "That one...  That was at the PD gun range.  The one in the right corner was in the lab."

"Your mole?" Tony asked.

"No.  Couldn't be.  They're leaking to the Feds."  He frowned.  "Let's see who the mole was this time."  They went back to it, bagging up everything that was paper, drugs, or money.  The guns got to go separately.

The Insanity That Money Brings.

Speed found Xander doing the book inventory.  "You're a rule of Karma?"

"No, they keep spreading rumors that I'm the fist of karma if you fuck with me."  He grinned at him.  "It's a useful rumor so I don't fight it too hard.  I have a lot more books than I thought.  On some really strange subjects."

"We knew that already, kiddo."  He sat down beside him.  "Everyone was good and wore their vests."

"Good, that means I won't have to spank."

Speed snickered.  "No, if H doesn't wear his that's my job," he said, giving him a hug.   Xander squeezed back.  "I saw the ad Nichols put up.  Definitely an aspect of karma there."  Xander beamed at that.  "Told her the whole story?"  Xander nodded. "Figured you did since the ending line was 'a tree made him endanger officers'."  He looked at the books.  "Aren't some in trunks?"

"Yeah but I'll do them next.  For now, I'll stick with the bags.  There might be less."  He looked around.  "When did I put them over here?"

"I don't know," Speed said.  "Last I knew they were in the office closet."

"Then maybe the guys doing the fixing stuff."  He concentrated and all the books and bags floated up, heading for the other house.  They came out and found someone in there.  "Hey," he told the officer.  He put them down in the living room then went to get more.

"More problems?" Speed asked.

"No, we haven't had any and we were worried about him," he admitted.

"He's doing a book inventory."  Some trunks danced over too.  Then a few more.  Then some more bags.  "Just empty it, Xander.  Just in case."

"I am!"  He finished it and followed the last load with his notebook for the inventory.  "Sorry, someone put all my books over there and I have to do an inventory."

"Okay."  He nodded.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm good.  I'm waiting on the crew to get to the insulation point on my workshop so I can do the interior."

"That's fine, sir.  Are you sure you're all right?"  Xander gave him an odd look.  "It's been going around that you haven't treated their team to lunch recently."

Xander grinned.  "I have so.  I did dinner the other night."

"Threw his back getting the ham out of the oven," Speed said.  That got a smile.  "I'm not here begging.  Horatio wanted him home today because of the Mala Noche bust."

"You knew them?"

"I played poker with a few of them," Xander said with a small grin.  "They never tried to cheat, it was nicer than some of the thugs in the circle."

"Uh-huh," the officer said.

"He had this small problem with his high stakes poker games being filled with our underground," Speed told him.  "That's why we made him quit."

"Even better," he decided.  "You're not, right?"  Xander snorted, shaking his head.  "Oh, good."

"I'm a bored housewife," he said with a smirk.  The officer walked off laughing.  "Are my dogs outside?"

"Watching the construction guys, sir."  He closed the door behind himself, heading back to the office to put those rumors to rest.  "Hey, Sarge, he fed them dinner instead."

"He has them over for dinner?"

"Yeah.  Did you hear about his former poker habit?"

"A bit.  I heard there were some of our criminal class there."

"Yeah, Caine told him to stay home today because some of his poker circle used to include the Noches they busted this morning."  That got a moan and a head shake.  "Speedle said that's why they made him quit playing."

"Good!"

Don strolled in with paperwork.  "The Chief dropped it on my desk and walked off rubbing his head when he saw how many arrest warrants we were pulling up.  This looks like your part of the stack."

"Your boy doesn't play poker anymore, right?"

"No.  We made him stop it," he assured them. "Of course, one of the assassins recently paid him in platinum bricks.  One tried to pay him in drugs, that was a great bust when Xander got pissed at 'em for it."

"He helped us?" the sergeant asked.

Don smirked.  "He decided it was helpful and the more he won the less they could use for nefarious or bad plans."

The officer walked off giggling at that.  "He's doing something with dancing trunks, bags, and books, Flack."

"Sure.  Another complaint?"

"Making sure he was all right.  No one'd seen him out for days."

"Oh, okay."  He shrugged and looked at the sergeant.  "If those aren't yours, pass 'em on?"

"I can do that.  Thanks for playing messenger."

"Figured I'd make sure no one had to go that way so far today."

That got a smirk and a nod.  "Not yet.  He went to check just in case."

"Good."  He walked off, heading for his desk again.  "Situation normal."

"Good," Frank said, sounding happy.  "This is great, I'm going to have stats through the roof this month."

"You an' me both," Don agreed happily.  "Seventeen of my cases are now closed."  That got a grumble of noise from Ray.  "Not that many of yours?"

"Not yet."  He shrugged.  "It happens."  He got back to work.  He didn't have the easy out this month.

****

Xander looked over at Speed when he came back with cocoa.  "You're watching me today?"

"Yup.  I wasn't needed at the lab and it's my day off.  Figured I'd help with the inventory or help you shop for a patio set."

Xander grimaced.  "I need to do the checkbook before I do that."

"More problems with the local guy?"

"Yeah.  Lots and lots.  I'm about to kill him since Steve got detained by the trials against his former boss.  I'd be happier if he moved down here."

"We all would.  It'd be easier to have someone who knew everything doing the day-to-day stuff.  You know, since you're down and not being so clouded...."

"I know.  I tried to go over it last night and it confused the hell out of me.  Plus I couldn't log into my account online."  He frowned and got up, going to grab his keys.  "Wanna head?"

"Sure."  He put down the books he had been stacking.  The dogs and dragon got put back into the house and they took off in the corvette.  "Bank?"

"Yup."  He drove them off, frowning some.  The person at the bank gave him a dirty look.  "I'm finding my local accountant is doing wrong things.  What did he do here?"

"Withdrew about half your account?"

"Not with my blessing or any one else's that I know of."  She relaxed at that.  "I need details of what everyone's done."  She nodded, pulling it up with him.

Speed looked.  "Did you give him permission to do that?"

"I didn't give him permission to do more than pay the bills," Xander said honestly.  "Steve balances my accounts for me."

"We can call him," she offered.

"His former boss is going to trial this week.  I'm not sure if he can answer his phone since he blew the whistle to the Feds."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "Major bad issues up there."  He called anyway, frowning when he got the voicemail.  "Steve, it's me, I'm at the bank.  The guy withdrew money.  Who gave him that permission?"  He hung up and sighed, looking at her.  "I need to file charges I think."

"If you do you definitely will have some time before you get back the money," Speed said quietly.  "It'll be locked during the investigation.  Including this account."

Xander grimaced.  "You know what?  I'm going to go back to ready cash.  Can you get me into the safety deposit box at this branch?"

"We can," she agreed, taking him to do that.  Xander pulled out some money and a few stones.  "You think it'll take that long?"

"No, I think I'm about to prove the rumor that I'm an aspect of karma," Xander said honestly, patting her on the arm.  "Only me, Danny, Don, and Ryan. No one else unless we're with them or you call and authorize it.  Or actually, no, because they have ATM access."

"We can call.  Or you can check online."

"Someone changed the password."

"Oh, damn," she moaned.  She took him back to the office to go over that while Speed got an envelope for Xander for the cash.  She found it.  "Changed by Steve."

"I'll beat him later," Xander muttered.  "Change it for me?"

She nodded, changing it to something he would know.  "There you go," she said, writing it down.  He nodded, putting it into his pocket.  "Anything else we can help you with?"

"If you see him, call the cops.  It'll save his life," Xander told her, standing up.  "Any idea with my investments?"

"I don't know.  We can contact that bank."  She called over there.  "Hi, this is Miss Gold over Mr. Harris's accounts at First Miami.  Yes, him.  No, he's having some issues with his local accountant getting into accounts he shouldn't be able to.  Please.  He's on his way there to see who's done what."  She blinked.  "He shouldn't have had access."  Xander gave her a look and she shrugged.  "Of course, I'll send him right over.  No, he has an officer with him."  Speed nodded.  "I'll send him with what we have as well.  No, he was not allowed to withdraw any money on any account according to Xander.  Please.  Thank you.  Should be about twenty minutes."  She hung up.  Then she swallowed at Xander's stare.  "He apparently withdrew a third of your investments over there."

"Over his dead body," Speed said, standing up.  "Thank you, Miss Gold."

Xander smiled.  "You know, I'm going to be looking for someone new to handle this," he said with a grin.  "Ever think about switching fields?"

"I might," she said with a grin.  "If not, I'll have a good recommendation for you."

"Two other banks recommended him," Xander said grimly.  She shuddered.  "Thank you."  He kissed her on the cheek and took the papers with them out to the car.  He called Steve as they pulled out into traffic.  "Steve, this is Xander.  The guy's withdrawn a lot of my assets recently without authorization.  I need to hear from you TODAY, Steve.  And I do mean ASAP.  Thank you.  By the way, changed the password through Miss Gold so I can get back into the online statements."  He hung up and changed lanes, then streets.

"This is a good case against him," Speed said, pulling out his phone.  Xander glanced at him. "Is he immie?"

"Nope.  Stupid, normal, and in deep shit when I find him."

"Good to know."  He called dispatch.  "This is Detective Speedle, CSI.  I'm on my day off with a friend who's finding someone is accessing his bank accounts illegally.  We need a detective to meet us at ...."

"Miami National."

"Miami National Bank," he reported.  "Please.  That's fine.  We have forms from another one too.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "They'll get a detective routed for you, Xander."

"Thanks.  Does that mean I can't shoot him?"

"Probably not a good idea," he admitted.  They pulled into the bank's parking lot and got out, paying the meter before heading inside.  "Xander Harris to see...."

"Paul Rodriguez had the investments the last I knew," he told the receptionist.

"If you'll have a seat I'll let him know you're here, sir."   She called his office.  "Sir, there's a Mr. Harris here with a friend to see you?"  She smiled.  "Of course."  She hung up.  "He said give him a minute to find the rest of the paperwork you'll need."

Speed nodded.  "That's fine.  There's a detective coming to help us since someone's been in his money without his authorization."  She went pale.  He held up a hand.  "His local accountant.  Not you guys' fault.  It's happened at a few banks."  She nodded quickly.  He looked at Xander.  "Calm down."

"I don't know what he's been doing with it."

"Probably something like his debts; they usually do," Speed offered.  He looked over as the doors opened, nodding the detective over.  Only detectives wore suits like that.  "Hey, Speedle, CSI."

"Morrel, Money Laundering."

"God I hope not," Xander said, looking up.  "Please?"

Speed showed him what they had.  "I said someone for theft," he offered.

"It's our job anyway.   What sort of access does he have?"

"Write a check to pay the bills," Xander said honestly.  "That's all he has.  The contract we signed with him said that's all he's allowed to do.  I have a financial manager on the west coast who oversees everything else.  This guy has canceled my credit cards, he's taken money out of at least two banks.  This one is all investments.  He should've have even known about this one.  He has the checkbook for one account at that other bank."

"Okay," he said looking it over.  "Who're the others authorized?"

"Detectives Flack and Messer, plus Officer Wolfe.  His two boyfriends and his best friend," Speed said.

"We don't expect it with them?"

"I've had craploads of money laying around the house and they only nag for me to put it in the bank," Xander told him.  "I trust my boys and Ryan."

"Okay."  He looked over at the man who came out.  "Here for Mr. Harris?"

"Yes, and we heard there might be an officer here to investigate.  His usual financial manager isn't answering the phone?"

"He narked to the Feds when his boss was doing bad things," Xander told him.  "He's at trial this week.  I'm assuming he can't in the courthouse."  He stood up.  "How much?  We know he's already taken about fifteen mil."

"Close to a hundred of your investments and interest, Mr. Harris."  Xander moaned.  "Come to my office please.  You as well, Officer.  I did pull up his other investments with the other banks that we know about and they're going to call us when they have everything with them so we can conference."

"This goes across how many banks?" he asked.

"Steve has me diversified through six here in Miami, four overseas, and two still in New York, plus two in LA," Xander said quietly, rubbing his forehead.  "So this is what a stroke feels like."  Speed rubbed his back.  "Can you warn them?"  Speed nodded, hanging back to call Don and warn him what was going on.  Then he came in to sit next to him.  "Okay, how is he doing it?"

"Electronic withdrawals," he said, showing them the 'before and after' forms.  "This is in the last month.  We've seen him hacking in for the last five weeks."  He pulled over another form.  "This is that first week.  A tentative one to test I believe.  We changed the account passwords and locked them down but somewhere it didn't take effect.  I don't know why."

Xander counted back then looked at him.  "I know a hacker who's probably still pissed at me.  Let me see if we can figure out if it was her."  He called someone.  "I love you but can you do me a huge ass favor when you're off work?"  He smiled.  "I don't want to get you in trouble, Abby.  I want to make sure that whoever's been hacking into my account isn't Willow.  Yeah, her.  Miami National."  He read off the account number, letting her look.  "You're sure it's local?"  He nodded at that.  "That's my accountant then.  Thank you.  If they yell tell them to yell at me.  Love you.  He's still pouting. I'll try to visit with him for the holidays."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Abby.  I owe you a huge present."  He hung up.  "Unless Willow is possessing him, it's him."

"I'm very sorry we recommended him, Mr. Harris," the bank's person said.  "I had no idea.  He'd been good for years."

"Not your problem.  You're not the only one who recommended him," he said dryly.  "Let's fix it for now."

"Of course."  His desk phone rang and he smiled, putting him on speaker. "Mr. Ellison, we've been waiting for you."

"You didn't get to come beat him," Xander said. "For the last five weeks he's taken at least a hundred-fifteen million, Steve."

Steve gasped.  "How in the hell?"

"Electronically," the local bank rep said.  "We have records here from Miss Gold and I'm expecting records from the other places he has money."

"Oh, damn.  Xander, I'm so sorry."

"I'm going to take his head if the nice detective next to me doesn't," Xander told him, looking serious.  "When are you done?"

"Tomorrow.  I'll be on the first flight down."

"Might check the card since that's where he started on mine," Xander said dryly.

"I can use my own, Xander.   You relax and let me handle this."

"I took some out of the safety deposit box since this might lock the accounts for a few weeks."

A secretary walked in forms.  "Sir, accounts on Mr. Harris from four other banks?"   He held out a hand.  "Are you expecting more?"

"One more bank," Xander said.  "Can I have some water, Paul?"  He nodded and she got it, plus coffee for the detective.  He smiled and she closed the door behind herself.  He sipped the water.  "I don't know what to do," he admitted.  "How much over there?"

"Two hundred total," Paul said.  "Including what Miss Gold sent over, Xander."

Speed grabbed his chest.  "Oh, god, even hearing that hurts."  He took a deep breath, looking at Xander.  He was looking a bit too calm.  "How much is that in relation to yours?"

"Half of what's in Miami.  The ones in New York, LA, and overseas?"

"I don't have access to those."

"I do," Steve said.  "I'll be down tomorrow, Paul.  Can we get all of us together?  Lock everyone out of everything until then?  Bring the detective to the meeting?"

"I can do that," the detective agreed.  The receptionist brought in more forms then left, closing the door behind herself.  "There too?"

He looked.  "No, not there.  I don't know why.  Steve, how did you lock the ones at Dade?"

"Only I had access.  Not even Xander can move those."

"Okay, I'm going to lock the ones here totally under a fraud alert.  That's bank procedure," he told Xander, who nodded.  "That'll let the officers have all the records."

Xander wrote out a simple statement, handing it to the officer.  "If that doesn't work, you let me know."

He looked at it.  "It should.  Thank you, Mr. Harris.  Can I have this guy's name and address?"  His card was found and handed over along with the other information.  "When do you want to meet tomorrow, Mr. Ellison?"

"Six hours from Cascade to Miami.  Early the next morning good for you?  That way I can find all the other information?  In case the trial goes longer?"

"That'll work.  Thank you, sir."  He stood up.  "How do I get hold of you, Mr. Harris?"  He wrote his phone number on the bottom of the statement.  "All right.  Should I talk to your boys, see what they've done?"

"Please," Xander agreed.  "They're going to be pissed too."

"Of course, sir.  I'd be hellishly pissed if it was my money."

"I'm going to cut off his head," Xander said seriously, staring at him.

"I'll try to get there first."  He nodded at the other man, who nodded so he left.

Paul looked at him.  "Let me lock these, Xander."  He did that, putting in the notes section that it was the local accountant.  He was calling in his financial manager for a personal meeting about the not-allowed withdrawals.  Someone called him.  "This is Mr. Rodriguez, how many I help you?" he asked.  "Yes, sir.  His local accountant has been making EFT withdrawals without his permission.  Half of his local net worth, sir."  His boss gasped.  "Over all but one of the local banks.  We've already talked to a detective.  Steve Ellison is coming down in person and we're going to sit down with him the day after tomorrow.  There was a trial going on.  Apparently his bosses ran afoul of some Federal agency and has to testify.  Of course, sir.  That's what I'm doing.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  He called Miss Gold.  "Miss Gold, Paul Rodriguez.  Can you lock everything but the account his husbands have access to under a fraud code?"  He smiled.  "Good.  That way they can still use their ATM cards.  One hasn't.  The others have.  Approximately half his net worth in Miami.  Steve's coming down, he wanted to meet the day after tomorrow in the morning.  All of us. I'll contact them.  That's not an issue.  Please.  Thank you, Miss Gold."  He hung up.  "She's agreed and her bosses aren't happy either.  She'll unlock the ATM account she said."   Xander nodded at that.  "Let us handle it, Mr. Harris.  We want to fix this.  This sort of thing tarnishes us all."

He smiled.  "I know it wasn't you."  He leaned forward to shake his hand.  "I'll be at the meeting as well, possibly my boys too."  That got a nod.  "Let me know when."  He stood up.  "Come on, Speed.  I'll get us burgers and we'll go treat the boys."  He walked out with him, still frowning.  "Damn it," he said once he was outside.

"Calm down, Xander."  He patted him on the back.  "They'll fix it and get it back from him if possible."

Xander looked at him.  "There might not be a way to get it back from him."

"That's why he carries insurance."  Xander looked confused.  "They'll tell you about that at the meeting.  It should cover it."  He got them into the car.  "How much did you take out?"

"Six grand.  Enough for gas and food for a good month."  That got a nod and they drove through a burger place.  They parked at the lab, checking the cars.

"Everyone but Eric and Ryan are here it looks like."  They headed inside, him signing Xander in since he had the box of food.  "Page the usual suspects to the breakroom.  We're having an emergency family meeting."  She nodded, doing that while they walked.  Xander put the box of burgers down on the table then got a soda, sitting down in the corner.  Don and Danny insisted when he was in.  The others gave him curious looks as they came in.  Frank came in last.

"Eric, Ryan, and Calleigh?  Since she should probably hear?" Xander asked.

"They're on a case," Horatio said.  "What's wrong, guys?"

"The accountant is worse than we thought," Speed announced.  Danny and Don both went pale.  "He's stolen about two hundred million total from Xander."  Frank gasped.  "Almost all of it by EFT."

"Damn," Ray said, blinking at Xander.  "You're calm."

"I called for a detective.  They sent one from Money Laundering," Speed said.

"If I catch him he's going to be missing his head," Xander told him.  "I'm concentrating on how many ways I can hurt him before I kill him."

"We have Detective Morrel," Speed said.  He pushed the box closer.  "Eat."  They dug in and found their food, eating while they talked.  "He's hit all but one bank and that one only Steve had access to.  Steve's coming down tomorrow as soon as he can after his testimony is done.  They're having a meeting the day after in the morning.  Xander said he's going to be there."

"I can go," Don agreed.

"H?" Danny asked.

"You can go," he agreed.  "I'll put you on-call if we need you," he promised.  Horatio looked at Xander.  "Are you all right?"

"No!"  He shook his head.  "I'm pissed.  I'm going to destroy this guy like I ....  Damn it I can't even think of a method of destruction bad enough.  I did call Abby and asked for a favor so she could make sure it wasn't Willow again."  Don nodded at that.  Danny gave him an odd look. "She stole from my account in New York."

"We've got to contact them," Speed reminded him.

"Steve can," Xander said.  "I have a really bad headache."  Don pulled him over to work on his shoulders and neck, getting a moan but him calming down some.  "Thank you."

Stetler stomped in.  "Having a late lunch?" he sneered.

"We found out his local accountant stole half his net worth," Speed told him.  Stetler gaped.  "So we need to gather all the little times we've had access.  Abby said it came from him, not Willow."

"Unless she's possessing him," Xander said grimly.  He looked at Stetler.  "What sort of need did he have for two hundred million dollars?"

Stetler went pale and grabbed a chair.  "Damn it."

"We have a detective involved," Speed assured him.  "I called for one after the first bank.  It's covering at least five here in town.  Almost all EFT."

He rubbed his chest.  "I'm sorry, Mr. Harris."

"Not your fault unless you did it," Xander assured him.  "I know Ray Junior has a copy of my ATM card for gas and emergencies."  Horatio nodded at that.

"He does?" Speed asked.

"Hmm," Horatio agreed since his mouth was full.

"He used it to get dinner the other night," Danny told him.  "He called first.  His has a daily draw limit of fifty I think unless it's an emergency.  Then he can call and we'll call."  That got a nod.  "That way he can buy plane tickets if he has to."

"That's fine," Speed promised. "Guys?"

"I hit the ATM for gas and breakfast," Don admitted.  "Early call out."

"I got gas this morning and about three days ago," Danny agreed.  Xander looked at him.  "After I had ta get the tank fixed."

"That's fine," he said quietly.  "I'm still so pissed."

"You're pissed!" Don said.  "Hell, I'm pissed and it's going to get someone dead!"

"Let the detective and Steve work first," Horatio ordered, staring at Xander, getting a grimace but a nod.  "He'll be going to jail if we can prove it, Xander."

"You promise?"

"I do.  I also promise that you should get that money back."  Xander nodded.  "What about the other ones?"

"Steve should be handling those personally," Xander admitted.  He handed out money to his boys.  "The ATM account is unlocked but I figured it'd be easier if we lived on real cash."  They nodded, putting it into their wallets.  "Slip Ryan a fifty too just in case."  He leaned forward, resting his head against the table on his hands.  "Now what?"

"Now, we let them meet and figure it out, Xander," Speed soothed.  "Then we arrest the sucker and have him beaten in jail."

Xander smiled at him.  "Only beaten?"

"No, but he's not a big guy so that'll happen automatically."  He stroked over his hair.  "We thought the family should know in case they have to justify any time they had Xander's cards."  They nodded.  "Xander said he canceled some of his cards."

"Try all but my Am Ex and he didn't have access to that one," Xander said.  "I'm wondering if they were shut because he wasn't making payments to it," he said, looking at Don.

"No, I checked, he's been paying off your credit cards each month, Xander."

"We can get new ones," Danny promised.  Xander relaxed at that.  "We'll do that soon."  His boy nodded.  Ryan walked in and looked at them.  "The local accountant's stolen about two hundred mil."  Ryan grabbed his chest, grabbing the counter behind him to steady himself.  "Exactly."

"Okay," he said, gathering himself back together again.  "We have someone investigating?"

"Morrel out of Money Laundering," Speed told him.

"That's their department too," Eric agreed as he came in, shutting the door.  "How much?"

"Two hundred mil," Xander said quietly.  Eric moaned.  He looked at Don.  "How did we pay the contractors?"

"Cashier's check before they started.  Like you did the other guys."  Xander relaxed at that.  "Wolfe, everything but the ATM account is sealed."

"Good!"  He gave Xander a hug.  "It'll be all right.  We'll catch him and make him pray for mercy before we kill him."  Xander nodded, resting against his side.  "Your rep for being a force of Karma will come down on him too," he soothed, making him relax again.  Don took over and cuddled him.  "Now what?"

"Now, this is an FYI," Speed said.  They all nodded.  "We brought lunch anyway.  Figured none of you had left your desk yet."  They smiled and grabbed lunch, heading back to figure out if they had any receipts that Steve might need.  The immies stayed for a minute.  He petted Xander.  "Come on, let's go finish the book inventory.  It'll keep you calm to have the ferrets help."  He nodded, getting last hugs before leaving.

"Anyone here want to hunt the puss sucker down?" Eric said, raising his hand.

"Seconded," Don agreed.  Eric put his hand back down.  "How can we help the detective over it?"

"Do you keep the statements on quick books or somethin'?" Danny asked.

"Yeah.  Steve does too."

"We can get ours to him faster and he can compare ours with Steve's.  Remote log-in?"

"As long as ours is on at home," he agreed.  Danny went to do that.  He looked at Ryan then Eric.  "Do we know this guy?"

"Never heard anything bad about him," Eric told him.

"Do we think Xander's going to make good on his threat?" Ryan asked.

"Maybe," Don said.  He stood up, grabbing a second burger.  "If so I'm sure someone will help him with it."  He walked off nibbling, nodding at his boss.

"Why the family meeting?"

Don swallowed his current bite.  "Xander's local accountant broke into accounts and took a good portion of his money."

"He broke?" he taunted.  "Going back to poker?"

"Took half of it.  Two hundred mil."  His boss choked.  "Yeah, so we're finding out if there's other thefts and day after tomorrow I've got a meeting with the bank people, Xander, the detective, and his higher financial manager from the west coast."  He ate a another bite.  "I'll make up the hours," he said once he had chewed and swallowed.

"Is your boy going to let the system work?"

"As long as the detective gets there first," he agreed smugly.  "Otherwise?  No."  He walked back to his desk finishing the burger.  Because if Xander didn't, he was going to finish the asshole.  He didn't care if he got caught either.

His boss walked into the office then came out.  "Flack, you've got that day off.  Don't worry about hours.  You can have the trial off too."

"Thanks, boss."  He grinned.  "The Chief pissed?"

"The Chief of Detectives said Morrel's a good guy who knows his shit."

"Then I'm all for helping him.  Thanks, Cap."

"Welcome.  Messer?"

"H already gave him it off."

"Good."  He went to take an antacid.  That was enough to sour his stomach without it being his family or his money.  He came out.  "He tied into the poker circle?"

"You know, I don't know.  Two of the banks recommended him.  We did a background and didn't find anything.  So I'm thinking gambling debts outside the poker circle or he's being blackmailed, or he's helping fund another terrorist cell.  Take your pick.  We'll let you know once we do."

"Good."  He went back to his office to take another antacid.  Someone was going to die by the look on Flack's face.  He hoped he made it subtle so they wouldn't have to catch him.  He'd hate to lose the guy, he did good work.  He came out.  "Kowalski, why don't I have closed cases from you?"

"Because none of mine were related back to the Mala Noche bust, boss.  I had normal people doin' bad things."

"Oh.  Well, try anyway."  He went back to his desk.

***

Xander flopped down once the ferrets were out to help him do the inventory, letting Speed hand him a glass of soda.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  You need the help and cuddles right now."  He sat down to go back to his job of stacking books that Xander had done.  "Where are we?"

He looked.  "Book of the Dead in french."  He pointed.  "That one."  He checked then wrote down the translator's name, putting it into the stack.  Speed handed over some of the loose ones, letting him check and restack.  Then they went over the stacks again, just in case one had been missed.  That trunk was emptied and noted by them, then refilled.  They dumped out another trunk, watching as it kept going.  One of the bottomless ones.  Finally it stopped and they picked books to start with.  "Why didn't I do this sooner?"

"You forgot," Speed said dryly.  "Besides, you had more interesting things to do."

"Probably."  He petted George when he came over to help by curling up on his notebook.  "You're a very good ferret helper, George."

Speed laughed, petting Beauty since one of them was sneaking into his lap.  "She is too."  They kept going, not hearing the back door open.  He looked up to grab his water, spotting someone in the doorway.  "Xander."

Xander looked up.  "You.  I wanted to talk to you."

He pulled a gun.  "Pity you found out."  He shot them both then ran off.

Xander groaned, holding his stomach. "Speed?"  He got a moan.  "SPEED!"  He got a louder moan.  "Stay with me.  Spots!" he yelled as loudly as he could.  They came running in.  "Get the guards!  Get the guards!"  He moaned, trying to stop the bleeding, moving over to help Speed.  He was shot in the stomach too but higher up.  "Guards, now!"  They ran to get the gate guards.  Daddy Don had taught them that trick.  He kept pressure on it.  He concentrated but the phone wasn't coming.  "Shit, he had to use iron," he muttered.  He looked.  Then at the phone all the way across the room.  "No way I can reach that."  He kept pressure on the wound for now.  Gunshot would bring the guards from the gate soon.  He looked down then concentrated.  He had something he could do.  Connor had said something about quickening transfers.  He tried, very hard, to get it into him to heal him.  It wasn't going but he did feel some of the magic responding.  He could try.

The dogs found the gatehouse and bounced around until they noticed no one was in there.  One sniffed and went chasing after the scent.  The other stayed there.  Daddy Don had said they were here.  The one that went off barked when he found one, wagging his tail.

"What are you doing out?" he asked, grabbing his collar.  The dog pulled free and barked, then ran back to the house.  It turned to stare at him.

"I think there's a problem.  His dogs never get out of the yard," the new guard said.

"The contractors...."

"Left at noon today, sir.  We can check."  They nodded, walking that way.  The other dog came out of their shack and growled, barking at them.  "Whoa!"

"Shit, there's a problem," the other one decided, heading for the house.  "Mr.  Harris!" he yelled as he got near the house.

"Shot!" came out of the house.

The guard tried the front door.  Locked.  He kicked it in and the dogs ran inside.  He walked in and saw.  "Let me get someone."

"Get him," he whispered.  "Gonna pass out for a while."  The new guy knelt down to help Speed while he got up and locked himself in the bathroom to die in peace.  They didn't need to know.  He grabbed the phone on the way.  "Speed," he whispered before dying.

***

Danny looked at his phone.  "Xander's hurt," he yelled, running for the hummer he had for the current scene.  "H, he just said Speed's name before going!"

Horatio ran for his hummer too.  That was not a good thing.  He called Dispatch on the way.  "Tell me what has been called in for Grove Way."  He listened. "The ambulance is for CSI Speedle."  He hung up and called Danny.  "They were shot.  One's locked in the bathroom."  He sped up, turning on his lights.  The Chief could complain, they were halfway across the city.  His neck was heating up but he knew Speed wasn't going to die.  Xander but not Speed.  They finally pulled in behind the ambulance but out of the way, running for the house.  "Speed!"  One of the guards got in his way.  "That's my CSI, move!" he ordered.  He got out of the way.  "Speed?" he asked the paramedic, brushing his hair.

"Fairly bad GSW to the abdomen but he's not bleeding heavily, Lieutenant.  We can't get the other guy to respond or get the bathroom door open.  Can we take him now?"

"Go.  We'll get Xander there if he's that bad."  They nodded and headed.  He and Danny went to kick in the bathroom door.  Xander was dead but healing.  "Get me pliers," he called.  The guards gave him a horrified look.  He looked at the older one.  "You know me."  He nodded, getting him some from the boy's tool belt.  He pulled the bullet out and watched as the lightning came up to heal the injury faster.  The new guard backed up.  "You do not talk about this," he ordered.

Danny knocked him out.  He looked at the older guard.  "Something Xander picked up during one of the kidnapings."

"Okay," he said weakly, swallowing.  "So..."

Xander gasped, holding his stomach.

"Shh, I have you," Horatio said quietly, holding the wound.  "Who, Xander?  Tell me who?"

"Accountant.  Said pity we found out."  He whimpered, curling around his stomach.  "Make it stop!"

"Shh," he said, knocking him out.  "Danny, he's still bleeding."

"Go be with Speed, H.  Clean up first."  He nodded, doing that then heading off.  He got Xander handled, letting him go over again until the wound would heal fully.  He looked at the guard.  "He'll be fine in a few hours."

"That's why he didn't quite get the mumps?  He only got a cold?"  Danny nodded. "How?"

"Something someone gave him.  They're dead for taking him.  I want tapes of when that asshole got here and where he was."  That got a nod.  "No talking about it.  Ever."

"Yes, sir."  He nudged his new boy awake.  "He won't talk either.  Your dogs did good.  One was at the shack and the other came to find us."

Danny grinned.  "I'll let Don know he got it good."  That got a nod and they left.  He went back to helping Xander come back again.  "Shh, I've got you."  He grabbed his hand.  "I've got you, Xander.  You'll be okay."

"Bullet.  Iron.  Coated," he moaned.  "No magic."

"No magic?"

"Phone."

"Oh.  Oh!"  He nodded, looking at the bullet.  He picked it up to look at it.  There was something separating the blood and the metal.  "I'll test it."  He got him into the tub, then threw the rug he was on in the trash.  The blood got cleaned up with a towel.  Don and Ryan rushed in.  "Wolfe, figure out what it was coated with.  Speed's at the hospital!"  Ryan took it and went to run it in the back of the hummer.  "Don?  They said the dogs did good."

"Good!  He okay?"

"I'll be fine, of course I will.  Speed needs us," Xander said weakly.  "Go."  Don shook his head.  "Horatio needs help.  Go!  I'll be fine."

"Fine, but I'm gonna yell later about that."  He headed off.  "Wolfe!"

"Nearly got it!"  He finished running the analysis and nodded, printing it out back at the lab.  "Grab the printout in Trace.  Get it to H now.  The same stuff is coating the bullet that Speedle was shot with.  You have seconds."  He hung up and put everything back then headed off with Don in the front with him.  The guard flagged them down and handed over a tape.  "Who?"

"The accountant."

That got a nod.  "Figures, they found him skimming," Ryan said.  "Lock it down.  No one but family into the Harris household."  That got a nod and they headed off.  He flipped on the lights.  City regs be damned at the moment.  They pulled into the hospital and parked, getting out to run inside.  "H, did you get the phone call?"

"I did."

"Xander said something about it being iron too.  Said something about magic and the phone?"

"He couldn't summon it, that's why he used the dogs," Horatio said, getting it.  He went to talk to the nurse.  "We think the bullet's iron if it helps."

"It could.  They've gotten him stable and they're moving him to surgery now, Lieutenant."  He nodded, heading that way with the others.  "I'll send everyone else up there."  He nodded as he walked.  She looked at the other boys.  "Go ahead.  Make sure you didn't block the ambulances."

"I parked," Ryan assured her, heading up there too.  He called Eric.  "It's me.  Speed and Xander got shot.  Xander's okay.  Speed's headed for surgery.  We're all here but you and Calleigh it looks like.  I printed the coating substance off in Trace since I ran it from the hummer.  The bullet's still there.  I parked.  Handle it."  He hung up.  "He'll be fine, Don."

"I'm more worried about Speed.  Of course Xander will be.  Even if he's going to hunt the guy down and kill him."  They found H and he hugged him. "He'll be okay."

"He's got to be," he said quietly.  "I can't take this again."

Ryan gave him a pat.  "Horatio, Speed's strong.  It wasn't a poison.  It was some of the herbal crap on the list.  He'll be fine.  You told them, they can wash it out."  Horatio nodded.  "I told Eric, he's in charge until we can get back there."

"Speed didn't even get his gun out," he said quietly.

"He wasn't armed at the station," Don told him.  Horatio slumped.  "It was his day off, H.  He was at the house.  It's supposed to be a safe spot."

"The gate guards gave me a tape," Ryan told him.  That got a nod and Horatio straightened up.  "Let me go run it in the hummer.  You call.  We'll be here for Speed.  Whatever we can do.  You know that."  He headed off at a jog.

"Xander?"

"H, think.  Xander's going to be fine," Don reminded him.  "He sent me because you needed us and he can't be here to fuss and pace with you."  That got a small smile.  "I'm sure Xander tried to protect him."

"I know."  He sat down, holding his head.  "Why now?"

"The gate guard said it was the accountant."

"Xander said the same thing," Horatio said quietly, looking at him.  "I want him found tonight."

Don nodded.  "We'll let Wolfe verify it then call in the hunt."  That got a nod and he sat beside him, letting himself be the anchor Horatio needed.  Frank rushed in.  He whistled and he came that way.  "He's in surgery.  Iron bullet coated with the herbal stuff."

"Why didn't the boy call!"

"He couldn't get to the phone," Don told him.  "Danny's cleaning up a hell of a mess in the bathroom."

"Bathroom?"

"I think Xander left Speed once the guards got there and locked himself inside," Horatio said, looking at him.  "That way they wouldn't know."

"Too late for that now," Don sighed.  "Danny's there.  He can handle that."  That got a nod and Frank sat down on his other side.  "Iron bullet coated with some of the herbal crap from the list."

"Iron would've kept him from getting the phone?"

"If he tried ta summon it, yeah," he admitted.  "The gate guards said the dogs did good getting them."  Horatio smiled at that.  "We'll figure it out once Xander's coherent, H.  You know that."  He stroked his back, getting a look.  "Filling in for Xander.  How'm I doin'?" he asked with a small grin.

"You mother nearly as well as he does," he admitted.  The nurse came out and he got up to walk over there.  "News on Speedle?"

"He's fine.  The bullet's out.  They're cleaning up the mess it made.  We found more of the coating.  How will it react?"

"We know it lowers immune systems.  Let me call someone.  He found out what it does."  He called him on his cellphone.  "Gregory, Horatio.  Speed got shot with a bullet with some of the herbal stuff on it.  I have a nurse here, she needs to know bodily side effects."  He handed the phone to her.

"Sir?"  She listened.  "The herbal compound of ... that one, yes."  She grabbed a pen and paper to make notes  "Any other side effects?  It's inside his abdominal cavity."  She wrote down something else.  "Anything on blood pressure or anything?"  She nodded, making another note.  "What should we expect when he wakes up?"  He gave her the usual symptoms.  "Okay, I'll hand this to the doctors.  He should be fine, sir.  As long as this doesn't cause an infection."  She hung up and tossed him back his phone.  "He should be fine."

"Tim's a strong man but this is his second near-fatal shooting."

She nodded.  "We'll handle it," she promised, walking off.  She put the note in a plastic bag and handed it to a scrub nurse.  "On the slime that was on the bullet."  She nodded, taking it in there for the doctor to see and deal with.  She came out.  "The doctor has it."

Ryan came jogging back in.  "H, I put out a manhunt order on him.  I did warn that he was using strangely coated bullets.  Anyone shot was to come here."  That got a nod.  "I called Xander, it's slowing him down but not that much.  He'll be here in a few hours."  That got another nod.  "Danny took a more full statement.  They looked up and saw him standing there.  He snuck over from the tree neighbor's lot and in the back door."

"It wasn't locked?"

"It's only got the single knob lock," Don moaned.  "We thought it'd be safe."

"They didn't hear him until Speed looked up when he went for a drink.  They were doing the book inventory."  That got a nod and a swallow.  "Xander couldn't reach the phone so he kept hold of Speed while the dogs went to get the guards.  He said he couldn't summon it or anything with that," he said more quietly, walking him off.  "He kept hold of him until the guards got there, then left it to them while he went to hide so they wouldn't know."

"I figured he did.  He did what he could."

Ryan nodded.  "He did. You know that."  Horatio nodded, swallowing again.  "He'll be fine.  Speed's a strong guy, Horatio.  Remember, he can draw on your strength if he needs to."

"I know."  He nodded at the waiting area.  "Go tell them.  Then get Morrel."

"I called him already," he promised.  "He's joining the hunt and gave the reason behind it.  He's considering it his case since it relates back to the money theft.  He's being put around as considered armed and dangerous.  I did note he had shot Speed.  That he was to be taken alive, but injured was fine."  That got a nod and a grateful smile.  "Hell, I want a piece of him.  Of course you, Eric, and Calleigh do," he pointed out dryly.  That got a brighter smile. "Give it an hour.  He'll be out and he'll be fine.  Xander said he'd do what he could to come up and work on healing the injury."

"Thank you, Ryan."  He nodded, going to tell Don his boy was slowly healing but he'd be fine.  Horatio sent a mental prayer to his God and the goddess over their lives.  "Please let him be okay?  I can't do it without him," he said quietly.  He went to pace in the bathroom for a bit so he could have some peace.  They would fuss him to death soon.  He felt the first break start and turned, finding Don there.  "I...."

"Shh.  He's your soulmate.  It hurts me to watch it, of course it hurts you."  He gave him a hug and let Horatio break down this time.  The guy needed it.  It'd make him stronger for later.

***

Xander wobbled into the hospital and to the elevator.

"Sir, the ER is straight back," a nurse said, trying to stop him.

He looked at her.  "I'm not injured anymore.  I'm going to see a friend.  He got shot."  She got out of his way and he went back to his wobbling to the elevator.  Danny finally finished parking and followed him. "Do I look that bad?"

"Yup."  He pushed the button Ryan had texted for Speed's room number.  "No magic," he said once they were alone.

"I won't.  Not until I'm stronger and if he needs it."  He wobbled off the elevator and growled at the officer in his way.  "MOVE!"  He jumped and moved.  He wobbled that way, finding Eric.  "You too, move."

"No.  Us first."  He looked at him.  "You look like shit."

"It was coated with the herbal stuff that makes us sick."  He grimaced.  "He okay?"

"He'll be fine, Xander," Ryan said, coming out to walk him over to a chair.  "Sit."

"No!"  He got up and pushed his way in there.  "Horatio?"  Horatio looked over and hugged him.  "Is he all right?"

"He's fine, Xander.  You did the right thing sending the dogs while you kept the wound under control."  He let him go.  "You don't look too good."

"I'll be fine.  I would've been here sooner but I couldn't stand."  He looked at Speed, moving over.  "Hey, you'll be good or else I'll have to pout at God to give you back to us," he said in his ear.  Speed moaned.  "Come on, open the big brown eyes.  Horatio needs you."  He stroked his head.  He frowned and did it again.  "He's got a fever."

"They've started antibiotics," Horatio said, pulling him away from the bed gently.  "He'll be fine, Xander. They're keeping him sedated right now for the pain."

Xander looked at him.  "Let me get a bit stronger.  We'll see what I can do."

Aphrodite appeared in a flash, stunning the others.  "Don't you worry about it, Xander.  We have it."

He looked at her.  "Need some of my energy?"  She shook her head.  "You sure?"

"I am.  We can do it."  He nodded.  "Good boy.  Now sit!  You were shot too!"

"I heal, Lady Aphrodite.  He doesn't heal like I do.  I should worry about him.  It's the guy I am and that's not changing."

"Of course not," Horatio agreed, making him sit anyway.  He was tired of sitting.  He looked at her.  "Thank you."

"Pookie, it's not your time yet.  When it is, you'll be very old and know."  She looked at him.  "That herbal stuff is going to be a problem."

"It was on an iron bullet too," Xander said quietly.  "Mine was a bit rusty."  She nodded and looked up.

Apollo came down, looking at him.  "He's had good doctors.  Let's see if we can move his healing a bit further along."  He looked at Xander.  "You don't look too good either."

"I'll change lives if I have to," he said quietly.  "Need energy?"

"I'm good so far."  He got to work on Speed's body, smiling when he was done.  His blood pressure was dropping.  "Had to skim the stuff off."  He stopped the bleeding and Xander got up, grabbing onto his wrist to feed him energy.  "Well, you do have extra," he said dryly.

"That's why I'm an anchor."

"I forgot about that."  He put a hand on his forehead then went back to Speed's stomach injury.  The herbal crud was sweated out of his system.  The infection was going away.  He pulled back from both of them.  "He'll be fine," he told Horatio.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Not an issue.  You make 'Dite happy so she leaves me alone."  He disappeared in a shower of gold sprinkles.

She snorted.  "He wants to be thought of as shallow."

"Not with his jobs," Xander told her.  "He does too much to be truly shallow or mealy minded.  The same as you do."

She pinched him on the cheek.  "I still like you.  Though you need to be in bed."

"I'll heal.  Speed's more important.  Even if I die in here."

"Good point."  She disappeared and unfroze the officers, who all looked confused.

Xander looked down at him, smiling at the barely open eyes.  "Hi."  He pulled Horatio closer to him.  "Look that way."  He looked in the other direction and smiled.  "You'll be okay.  They said so."  He stroked his head.  "Let me get you something to drink, Horatio."  He wobbled out.  "Danny, Horatio needs something to drink.  He's dehydrated."

"You sit and I'll get him something," he ordered, walking off shaking his head.

Eric looked Xander over.  "You?"

"Apollo," he mouthed.  "Plus 'Dite."

"Good."  He sent up silent prayers to them and came to check Xander over.  "You aren't even healed."

"I'll heal just fine.  Speed's more important."  The other officers looked at him.  "He was at my house and we were both shot.  I'm fine.  He's not."

"You need ta be in bed," Danny said as he came back.  He nudged Horatio and handed over the cup of soup.  "Here.  You need it before you argue."  Horatio nodded, sitting down next to Speed's bed and drinking it quickly then throwing out the cup.  He came over to pull Xander up.  "C'mon.  You've seen, you've helped, you've mothered.  You're going back to bed."

"I'm fine."

"I don't give a damn.  You got shot too.  You're going back ta bed!"

"I...."

Frank coughed.  "Danny, we're still hunting for him.  Let's have Xander here or somewhere safe."

"Anyone check the farm yet?" Ryan asked.  He came over to pull Xander up.  "I'm taking you home.  You'll be watched that way."  Xander shook his head and struggled but Ryan picked him up and put him over his shoulder, making him yelp.  "Then next time don't fight."  He walked him out, taking him down to his hummer.  He found the Chief and Chief of Detectives coming in.  He put Xander down, keeping him from heading back to the elevator.  "Speed's infection looks to be weakening.  The nurses and doctors are all fairly optimistic about what's happened.  They're fairly certain they have all the herbal stuff out and the iron of the bullet won't cause any problems."

"What happened?" the Chief of Detectives demanded.  "And why are you holding him?  Is he a suspect?"

"No, he was shot at the same time.  He should be in bed.  He came to fuss over them."  He walked them outside, sitting Xander down again and glaring until he slumped and stayed.  He looked at his bosses again.  "Earlier today, Speedle and Xander went to talk about some wrong-doing by his accountant with the banks he uses.  They found out he had stolen approximately two hundred million dollars of Xander's money."  They both winced at that.

"After we told the family we went home to finish the inventory since we had gotten a detective to look into it and my financial manager is coming down once his testimony against his boss is done with," Xander said, looking at them.  "We didn't hear him come in.  Or his car."

"He parked at the tree neighbor's house and walked over," Ryan said.

Xander nodded at that.  "Speed looked up to get a drink and saw him.  He shot both of us," he said weakly.  "I couldn't get the phone so I had the dogs get the gate guards."  The Chief nodded.  The Chief of Detectives gave him an odd look.

"He lives in a gated, guarded community and his dogs are well known for having K-9 training," the Chief told him.

"Don added the command to get the guards," Xander said, grabbing his head.  "They got the ambulance and I let them handle Speed for me while I went to clean myself up.  I was too weak to put good pressure on the wound."

"We heard you locked yourself in the bathroom," the Chief said.

"Something one of the things that took me did means I heal faster," Xander admitted quietly, glancing around.  "He doesn't have that."  He showed the wound on his stomach.

"That should be bandaged and you should still be in bed," Ryan warned.  Xander dropped his t-shirt.  "When Horatio and I got there, the ambulance crew was loading Speed but couldn't get to him.  We told them to take Speed.  I processed the bullet Horatio took from Xander to find the herbal crud on it.  We got that to him and the fact it was an iron bullet so he could tell the doctors."

"Greg called me to see what happened.  They asked him about side effects of the herbs," Xander said, sounding even weaker.

"Let me get the hummer so we can get you home," Ryan said, jogging off.

Xander looked at them.  "I did what I could for him without broadcasting that fact," he said quietly.

"Which was the right thing to do," the Chief assured him.  Horatio came out.  "Horatio, how is he?"

"He's healing."  He looked at Xander. "You should not have donated energy for that, Xander."  He looked him over.  "Come on, let's get you home."

"Call?"

"Of course I'll call.  Speed will want to call too.  You can make stuff to fuss over him."  He helped him up and over to the hummer Ryan was pulling over.  "They kicked me out for some fresh air."  Ryan snorted at that, taking Xander so he could head back inside.  He looked at his bosses.  "Ryan did the analysis of the bullet for us and called it to the lab since the hummers print there.  They called me to read it off.  They removed it, some tissue that was infected by the herbs.  Right now we're working on the infection the shot and the other factors caused.  Any idea where he is?"

"No."

"Xander suggested you check the farm," Ryan called before sliding in and driving off.  He could nag Xander all the way home and once he was in bed.  Xander defeated that by dying on him for a bit.  So he'd get to nag later.

Horatio swallowed.  "Xander's a bit unique but he did what he could to help Speed until help got there."

"That's something no one needs to know, Horatio," the Chief agreed. "Why isn't he healing faster?"

"The herbs, they're anti-GHS herbs.  On the list."

"Aw, hell," he muttered.  "Speed is?"  Horatio gave him a look.  "I thought he was...."

"Level two."

"Oh, good.  So he'll be fine?"

"He'll be fine with some time.  He's going to be off duty for a while but we'll handle it.  He and Xander can fuss at each other."  He smiled a bit. "Xander will be back later with food for the rest of us and things for him too."  That got a nod.  "I want him found and Xander would like his money back, sirs.  Can I be kept informed?"

"You can," the Chief of Detectives agreed.  "I have a problem with you being in the same lab."

"I don't," the Chief said.  His underling gave him a horrified look.  "Remember the convention?" he said, pulling them further away from the doors and any cameras.  "Horatio goes because he *has* to.  So does Speedle."

"They handle it for each other?"

Horatio nodded.  "We do.  We've been married now for nearly eight years.  We passed our seven year mark eight months ago," he said quietly.  "We were together for a year before then.  I make sure someone else does his reviews."

"I've seen that.  What would the oversight people say?"

"He keeps me from shooting them when they get in my face."  The Chief of Detectives gave him a horrified look.  The Chief of Police laughed.  "I should get back inside.  You can come wait with us, sirs."  He walked that way, heading back up there.  The nurses scowled.  He glared and one backed down.  The other tried to get in his way.  Eric removed her.  "Thank you, Eric."  He walked back in there and took his rightful spot back from Danny.  "Ryan drove him home."

"That's fine.  We trust Ryan to handle him and protect him."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "You need stuff or he need stuff?"

"He could use some pajamas."  He looked at him.  "You can tell Ray Junior?" he asked quietly.

"Of course."  He patted him. "Let me do that.  Three pairs, four?"

"Four just in case."  He nodded, heading out.  Horatio looked Speed over then smiled at the snore he got.  "Good boy, Timmy.  You rest.  You'll need it with the way the family fusses."

Eric leaned in.  "My mother's bringing you dinner, H.  Don't argue, I couldn't.  I called Ryan.  He'll have Xander bring you lunch and dinner tomorrow, once he's better."  That got a nod.  "Chicken's good?"

"Chicken's fine, Eric.  She doesn't have to."

"Yeah," he snorted.  "You can try, I couldn't."  He nodded. "I'm going to check on the office.  Want spelled later?"

"I'll be here," he said.

"Good.  We'll handle it, H."  He left, heading down to the hummers.  He ran into the two Chiefs talking.  "Horatio's left us in charge while he's here.  My mother's bringing him food tonight.  Xander tomorrow.  He's up on the sixth floor, sirs."

"Will he be all right?"

"They said as long as the infection was fought he'd be fine."

"Good," the Chief agreed.  He pulled Eric out of the way.  "This thing that Mr. Harris can do.  Is that the same as you did the year you broke your ankle twelve times on shift and it was only sprained a few hours later?"  Eric muttered something under his breath then nodded.  "All right.  How long?"

"The herbs are the problem or he'd already be fine," he said quietly, looking at him.  "They slow down his healing because of the GHS stuff."  That got a nod.  "By the way, Morrel or someone had *better* find the guy before I or Xander do.  Don and Danny can cheerlead this time.  Xander's my student.  Xander will rip him to shreds then present Horatio with the pieces.  I'll do worse."

"Understood.  We'll have someone check the farm as well since it was suggested."

"Check his ship too.  He has some rooms out there."

That got a nod.  "Who would we contact?"

"I'll call her.  If he's out there, she'll beat him and present him to someone."  He walked off calling the priestess that had come back across the realms with Ryan and Xander from one of their road trips.  "It's Delko.  The accountant guy is dead when we see him.  You see him, you call.  Shot Speed and Xander."  She babbled something.  "That too.  Who came by?"  He snorted.  "You refer them to Steve Ellison.  He'll be in tomorrow night sometime.  The next day they've got a meeting at the bank.  You refer anyone who asks to Steve."  He hung up and got into his hummer, heading back to the office.  He parked and got out, nodding at the guard.  "Speedle will be fine."  He slumped in relief.  "Pass it around.  There's a small infection but they've got him on some strong antibiotics and he'll be fine."  That got a nod and he went to gossip while Eric went into the lab.  "Yo!" he called.  They all came out to look at him. "Speed will be fine.  They got the bleeding contained very quickly.  There's a small infection but they're not worried about it.  H is staying with him of course.  Xander's still injured.  The guy who did this is priority one of this lab until he's caught.  If we get a tip, let us know."

"Who is it?" Valera asked.

"Xander found out his accountant skimmed two hundred million off him."  She grabbed the door frame when her knees gave.  "He came to shoot them for finding out.  Xander's back in bed.  Wolfe is watching him.  I want this guy found by tonight if we hear something."  They nodded, going to call their contacts to give suggestions of where he might be if he was using Xander's properties.

"Has anyone checked either house around his?" Calleigh asked.

"I'll call the gate guards," he promised, going to do that.  "He's fine."

"Of course he is.  He's Speed, he has to be fine," she said quietly.  Eric grinned and nodded.  "H?"

"Momma's gonna feed him tonight.  Xander wobbled in to help the Shiny One heal him a bit further.  His is still open thanks to the herbs."

"Crap."

"Wolfe took him home.  He's got a hummer."

"Good."  She went to butt into the search as well.  Eric went to call the gate guards and have them check.

***

Xander gasped as he came back.  "Those herbs really do slow you down," Strife said, looking down at him.

"Speed?"

"He's fine," he promised, sitting beside him.  "You're about fucked though."

Xander shrugged. "As long as he's okay.  I'll heal.  Even if I die I'm not that scared of it.  Nearly did many times before at home."

Strife grinned.  "Nah, you won't die."  He stroked over his cheek.  "You're exhausted. Your body's worn out."

"Food?"

"Food's good."   He let Ryan into the room.  He had been waiting outside.  "Food?"

"Food."  He went to get the soup out of the microwave, bringing him a cup.  "Here. Food."  Xander sat up with help and drank it.  "Will he be okay?  I've never heard of us healing this slowly."

"It's the herbs," Xander pointed out.  "Them on a blanket is enough to make me sick."  He looked at them.  "Thank you."

"Not a prob," Strife said with a wink.  "Hephie's pleased you're building again too."  He stroked over his head.  "Feel bettah, Xander.  We need you bettah."  He stood up.  "Gotta go report."

"Any idea where the putz is?" Ryan asked.  "Just a hint?"

Strife shrugged.  "I can't find 'im.  He's shielded."

Xander looked at him.  "Like magic, demon, or Godly?"

"Magic.  I know he had a Feddy friend."

Xander smirked. "Thank you, Lord Strife.  I know a good portion of the magically shielded buildings down here."  He nodded and disappeared.  "The map with the purple marks, Ryan."  He finished his soup and laid back down.  Ryan brought it in, looking at it.  "Way back when Buffy had gotten free and we didn't know where she was I did a demon/slayer check of the town.  Those are all the places I couldn't look into to see if they had demons."

Ryan beamed and went to call Eric.  He scanned it in and sent it.  "Get into your email.  Lord Strife said he's somewhere shielded and he has a federal friend.  The purple spots on the map are where Xander found shields when he looked a few years back."  He nodded.  "He's awake again.  He was gone for over sixty minutes this time, Eric.  The herbs are really slowing him down."  He wrote something down.  "We think it'll work?  Yeah, still open.  Not bleeding but still fully open.  I can do that."  He hung up and went to make the poultice Adam had suggested from Chicago.  He was up there talking to another higher level that needed a shoulder to cry on.  He came back with it.  "This'll sting but it'll help remove some of the herbs."  Xander shrugged and took it from him but Ryan took it back and applied it, wincing at the hissing he was doing.  "Sorry."

"It's fine.  I can stand some pain.  I'll nap."  He closed his eyes and let himself pass out again.

Hubert stuck his head in.  Ryan smiled. "He'll be fine," he said at the inquisitive noise.  "Are the ferrets back in the cage?"  The dragon grumbled but nodded.  "The dogs?"  He nodded his head toward the living room.  "Thanks, Hubert.  I'll come clean up the mess in a minute."  That got a nod and the dragon went back to watching over his pets.  Ryan finished the poultice and wrapped a bandage around it.  Then he cleaned his hands and went to see what sort of mess the blood had left.  Two of the books were soaked.  The papers were soaked.  There was a good puddle where Speed had been.  He guessed Xander's had dripped down at the same spot.  He moved the books and papers out of the way, piling the ones that weren't bloody off to the side and went to get something for the blood.  A scrub brush, lemon oil, and a pail for now.  A lot of cool water and the lemon oil being put together and he was ready to start scrubbing.  Eric came in, startling him.  "That back door is too quiet."

"I left it open to get some fresh air in here."  He came over to help him scrub.  "Xander?"

"Still injured.  I used the poultice so I'm hoping it works."

"He'll be fine," he assured him.  "We always are."

"Which is what's tearing him up."

"Speed'll be fine too and nag him into accepting that fact."  He checked the books.  "Think we can get them cleaned off?"

"It's into the pages on one.  The other the whole binding is soaked."

"I'll call Connor, see if he knows how to get blood out of books."

"Call Wesley.  He left a message on the machine earlier.  He was a Watcher, maybe they have someone who does it."

"Maybe."  He went into the office to find his number, smiling when the man answered.  "Wesley, Eric Delko down in Miami.  Yeah, that's why I'm calling.  They were doing it when they got shot, Wesley."  The other man quit complaining about Xander not faxing him that book list.  "Two are covered in blood.  So's the list at the moment.  Xander's healing.  Speed's in the hospital.  It'll probably be a few days.  Is there an emergency?"  He listened then groaned.  "What's the name and what type of book is it?"  He listened.  "Wolfe, see if you can find Gray's Necromancy?" he called.

"It's in a blue bag," he called, bringing it in a minute later.  "Here.  Why?"

"Wesley needs it immediately because someone's using it."  He put it on the desk.  "It's on the desk.  Why?"  It disappeared.  "That's a handy thing."  He smirked.  "That's fine.  When they're better.  His accountant locally that he caught skimming.  Sure.  We're here."  He hung up.  "He'll wait for the rest and he hopes they'll get better.  They had to stop some zombies."

"Eww."  He went back to cleaning, falling to his knees when he saw Ares looking at the books.  "My Lord."

"Why does he have necromancy books?"

"Giles.  During the kidnaping from his mother.  He was using the demon that was feeding off Xander to get them.  Paul confiscated them and sent them to him."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "No wonder he keeps them locked up."

"Is he still in Miami?" Eric asked from the doorway.

"As far as we can tell he is," he agreed. "That map?"

"I gave it to the patrol supervisor.  I didn't give him an explanation, just that the person he had been working for had been looking those areas over.  Was that okay?"

"He's got a daughter who's a wiccan.  He'll figure it out."  He looked at them.  "How's the kid?"

"Healing slowly.  The herbs are keeping it at minimal healing," Ryan reported.  "Adam gave us a poultice recipe to draw some of it out.  I've applied it to the wound directly and he's passed back out."

Ares nodded.  "Good.  Your mare?"

"I was out there this morning and she was fine.  She seems to like the groom Xander hired."

"Out of one of the locked accounts."

Ryan winced.  "He needs paid?"

"Next week."

"Steve will be in tomorrow.  We can handle that," Eric assured him.  That got a nod.  "Anything else we can do to help him?"

"If you're getting the herbs out that's all you can do."  He gave him a look.  "Let the system work.  Too many people already know."

"It was unavoidable," Ryan said quietly.  "The guards were here when we got here.  At least the ambulance crew left with Speed to get him treated."

"They won't talk," Ares assured him.  "The dogs?"

"They did good," Eric promised.

"I gave them a treat once I got Xander into bed," Ryan promised.  "Hubert and the ferrets too.  The paramedics said they were cuddled around Speed's head in their report."  Ares smiled at that.  "Anything else you'd have us do, Lord Ares?"

"No, boys.  You're doing good.  I came to get a sit rep."  He looked at the books again.  "He's got to do something about that.  Hecate felt something evil earlier.  I'm hoping it was one of them."

"It could be or a higher demon," Ryan admitted.  "We've had some migration recently from LA."

That got a nod.  "That's possible as well.  Good job, Wolfe.  You too, Delko."  He disappeared.

Eric smiled.  "Nice to hear."

"Very."  He got back to scrubbing.  "He take the book?"  Eric nodded.  "Wonder if we can do that to Hubert so he quits pouting."  The dragon looked at him and nodded.  "As soon as the daddy is better."  Eric got another brush and came to help him with the blood stain.

***

Steve came off the plane, looking around.  He liked Miami's airport most of the time.  Today was a bit dreary with the rain.  He walked off to get his bag, frowning when he didn't see Xander.  Or anyone else in the family but he would've expected to see Xander there.  He had been every other time he had come in.  Though, he could be meeting with someone to see if new information had come up.  That was a reasonable explanation.  He went to rent a car and headed off to it, frowning some at the gray overhead sky.  "Lights on today."  He found his car and got in, putting his bags in the other seat while he started the car.  He adjusted the seats, the radio, and the a/c so he wasn't freezing.  Then he turned on his lights and backed out, heading for the house.  It was a nice drive.  Not too bad of traffic this time of day.  He found the right exit and pulled down it, heading to the gated community Xander lived in.  The gate was closed.  That was a bit unusual but he decided it was probably because of the shooting the neighbor had done.  Xander had told him about that.  He pulled up to the guard shack.  "Steve Ellison to see Xander Harris please."

The guard looked at him.  "No one but family is to be admitted to his house right now, sir.  What's the purpose of your visit?"

"Did something happen?"

"You didn't hear that CSI Speedle had been shot, sir?"

"No!  No wonder he wasn't at the airport!"  He shook his head.  "I'm his financial manager, the one who's going to fix the other idiot."

"Let me call, sir."  He called up there.  "Sir, this is the gate.  I have a Steve Ellison here?  Can I see some ID, sir?"  Steve pulled his out, getting a nod.  "It does check out, sir.  Of course, sir.  I'll even send him up with the mail, sir."  He hung up and handed over his mail.  "Mr. Harris is still in bed but CSI Wolfe is up there to protect him."

"They haven't caught the guy?"

"It's the guy you're here to fix," he said.

Steve gaped.  "He did what!"

"Ryan can fill you in, sir," he promised.  "Go ahead.  Their gate is open."  He nodded, driving that way once he had the community's gates open.  He closed them again.  "Looks like a bit too late on that one."  He made a note of that in his log.

Steve parked and got out, walking in through the kitchen.  "The asshole shot Timothy?" he demanded.  Ryan nodded.  "Why?"

"He came to shoot Xander for finding out he was skimming with the help and knowledge of a Federal agent.  Who's still protecting him.  Since we don't have him yet we're guarding Xander."

"Is he not all right?"

"The bullet was coated with some of the herbs on the list."  He stopped Horatio when he came in from showering and changing.  "You can take ten more to eat, Horatio."  He put a plate in front of him.  "Eat both of them and take the bag I'm making for later."  He got a silent nod and Horatio sat down to eat.

"Is he all right, Horatio?  I didn't hear until just now."

"They say he's going to be fine," Horatio told him.  "Thank you, Steve."

"Oh, I wanted his ass before, now I really want it."

Ryan smirked.  "You and a lot of others."   He handed him a softsided cooler bag.  "Dinner."  Horatio smiled and nodded a bit, finishing his fried egg sandwiches.  "We think Xander should be able to come fuss tonight."

"I want him protected until we get him," Horatio ordered.

"Of course!  When I'm not here, there's going to be a patrol sitting right outside the gate."  That got a nod.  "Since I've got the later shift tonight, they can be relieved when Danny gets back since he took early and Don took swing."  That got another nod and Horatio finished the milk too, then took his bag with him.  "Tell him I said to feel better sooner so Xander can fuss."

"I'm sure he will."  He headed out to his hummer, going back to the hospital.  The nurses could frown all they wanted.  He was not moving.

Ryan smiled at him.  "The guy used cold iron bullets coated with anti-GHS herbs."

"So he knew something about magic too?"

"I think the Fed gave it to him.  We're trying to find him too."

"Wonderful.  Who's got the case?"

"Morrel.  I can introduce you on the way in."  He led him back to the bedroom.  "Xander, Steve's here."

Xander waved from his pile of blankets.  "Hi, Stevie.  I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will."  He came in and gave him a hug.  "Want me to take over with the detective?"  He nodded.  "You look like hell."

"Herbs suck."

"They do," he said, smoothing a hand over his hair.  "Ryan, is there anyway to get rid of them?"

"It's about time to change the poultice Adam gave us."  He helped Xander up and into the shower so he could clean the wound easier then Xander could shower using the plastic lawn chair they had pulled in.  He came out.  "Give him a few.  Let me get a patrol officer here."  That got a nod.  He went to call from the office.  "Dispatch, this is Wolfe.  I'm getting ready to depart from the Harris house.  I need a change of guard.  About half an hour.  Doing a bandage change."  He hung up and walked back there.  "Xander?"  He came out with damp hair.  "Washed it?"  He nodded, letting Ryan put him back to bed.  "Want to leave off the poultice for a while?"

"Please.  It smells worse than demon butts."  That got a smile and a hug.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  There'll be a guard outside the gate."

"He can park inside so no one says anything," Xander said tiredly.

That got a nod and they walked out together.  Ryan found the officer parking. "Xander said you could park inside," Ryan told him.  That got a nod and he pulled in.  "The front door is locked, habitually, and sealed shut right now since it was kicked in yesterday so they could get to them.  The back door is unlocked if you need inside.  That's through the kitchen.  Go to the left once you get to the hallway for the bedroom.  He has a phone right beside him."  That got another nod.  "Expect to see the dalmatians now and then for potty breaks.  There's two.  One just bigger than lap sized lizard named Hubert.  Yes, he's intelligent.  Ferrets should be staying inside."  That got another nod.  "This is Steve Ellison.  He was coming down to fix the money theft.  Old friend of the family.  Caine's been here and gone back to the hospital.  We'll be in and out.  Danny gets off first and he'll relieve you about four."  That got another nod.  "Any questions?"

"Medical care?"

"He's awake and able to change a bandage if he needs one," Ryan assured him.  "We know last time the asshole parked on that side," he said, pointing.  "Then he walked through the hole in the wall.  The construction crew won't be in until tomorrow so don't worry about it."

"That's fine, Wolfe.  Any other helpful neighbors?"

"One on the other side shot herself to get away from the noise.  One on the left are all in jail for trying to shoot us."  That got another nod.  He grinned.  "Tree family.  Noise complaint lady," he explained, pointing at their houses.

"Okay.  The gate guard?"

"They'll call or check with you."  That got a nod.  "It's family only right now."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Have a good shift.  You'll hopefully be bored."  He walked Steve back to his car.  "I'll catch a ride with you.  Then take a patrol back to the lab."  That got a nod and Steve got in to drive, putting his bags in the back.  "He'll be fine."

"Of course he will.  He's Xander.  He's always going to be fine if he does feel like shit."  He looked at him.  "Noise?"

"Yeah, Xander said something about sentinels and stuff but he thinks she wasn't, she was just cranky and on drugs."  That got a groan.  "He knows, Steve."

"Good.  Wish I had known earlier."  He backed down the driveway and out of the gateway, heading off with him.  "Which way?"

"Left from the gate."  He made sure he was buckled up.  "We really need to find that Fed."

"Have you asked anyone like Greg to see who has an open case?"

"Yeah, Greg knows.  He said he couldn't find one."  He shrugged.  "We don't know.  I know Eric talked to the Fed over the GHS situation and he was confused too.  He's doing some quiet asking around the building."

"Let's hope we find him soon."   He followed Ryan's directions to the proper precinct and made sure he was immaculate before walking inside with his briefcase.  Ryan smiled, leading him to the right area.  He looked around then led him to a desk. "Detective Morrel?  Steve Ellison."

"Mr. Ellison.  Thank you for coming down.  Wolfe, how's the kid?"

"Still sore and cranky.  We have a guard on the house."  That got a nod.  "I'm heading in for my shift.  Steve knows how to get back to the house.  I filled him in on some of it.  Let us know if we can help more."  He left, calling Eric.  "I'm at Money Laundering.  Who's where?"  He smiled.  "That'll work.  I can do that."  He stopped a patrol, flashing his badge.  "CSI.  I need to hit the scene on East Eighth.  Can I catch a ride?"  He nodded, taking him to his car so he could drive him over.  "Ten, fifteen minutes, Eric."  He hung up.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome, Wolfe."  He drove him that way, checking around him.  There had been too many attacks on cops so far this month.

***

Xander looked up as Steve came back. "Hi," he said tiredly.  "Did we find more?"

"Yup.  Closer to three than two with the stuff out of the overseas and New York accounts."

"Are we sure Willow isn't possessing him?"

"I'm sure.  He sent an email to Morrel saying he had federal approval to do this."  He sat down beside him.  "What can I do to help?"

"Make it quit tingling?"

He checked his stomach.  "Xander, that doesn't look like it's healing at all."

"It's the herbs."

"Can we detox you from the herbs?"

Xander shook his head.  "Have to wear them out.  Could be two weeks this time too."  Steve winced.  "I've been injured before.  I still wake up when I die so I'm good."  He grinned.  "The dogs?"

"Playing in the new garage at the moment.  They think it's great fun to play tag among the wall studs."  Xander nodded.  "Want lunch?"

"No, I'm good."  He yawned and closed his eyes.  "I need a nap."

"You nap and I'll watch over you.  I'm not Ryan but I'm not bad."  Xander nodded, curling up on his side with a hiss so he could sleep.  Steve patted his hair, watching as the dragon came in and laid behind him.  "You're very helpful and I'm sure you're making him feel better, Hubert."  The dragon smoked a bit then put his head back down, sniffing his hair.

Fussing, Fussing, Fussing.

Speed swatted the hands trying to help him.  "Quit fussing!"  Horatio gave him a look.  "I'm fussed out.  Go get the car!"  Horatio nodded, going to get the hummer for him.  He smiled at the nurse.  "You too."  She walked off laughing.  He got into real clothes with a few winces and hisses, then transferred himself to the wheelchair.  His room was packed already.  He was going to Xander's for the day so Horatio could check on the lab.  He rolled himself out of the room, letting the nurse take over when she spotted him.  "We done?"

"You can go," she said patiently, wheeling him to the elevator and down to the entryway.  Horatio came over to help him.  She wanted to tip him out of the chair and let his lover pick him up but that was a mean thought.  Even though he hated to be fussed over and hated being in the hospital.  She didn't know too many grumpier people than him.  That's why she had called for the psych consult and even that doctor had agreed he was grumpy. Horatio had growled though and the man had backed off, slowly and carefully, until he could run.  She waved.  "Have a good life, sir.  I hope you never get injured again."  She fled and went to have a cupcake.  She deserved it.

Horatio looked at his husband. "Don't give me that look," Speed complained.  "She called for a shrink!"

"Because you're so grumpy."  He got him in then walked around to drive.  "Home?"

"Xander's," he said patiently.  "We have to check on him.  You said the herbs are keeping him from healing.  I can fuss over him.  Alexx will be proud of me."

"She would be.  She tried and Xander hid under a quilt."

"In Miami?"

"He's been chilled."  He drove them off to Xander's house, smiling and nodding at the gate guard's continued vigilance.  They got passed through and drove in, nodding at the patrol officer.

"Why can't we catch him?"

"The agent is still shielding him.  I've called Fornell and he's looking now too."  He parked and got out, coming around to help Speed but he was already out and walking toward the kitchen.  He shook his head.  He had a very stubborn husband.  He followed, finding Speed hugging Xander and getting cuddled back.  "I know you've been worried about each other."

"Why haven't we even had that stitched?" Speed complained.

"We have to put the anti-herb poultice in it," he complained. "Stingy stuff."  He looked at Horatio.  "I'll watch him better this time."

"You did as good as you could last time, Xander.  I'm not disappointed.  I'm mad at the person who shot you both.  You did everything you could."  He came over to stroke over his cheek.  "I trust you to watch Speed for me."  Xander grinned.  "That's a good boy.  I've got to check in and see how bad Calleigh and Eric have destroyed the office.  I'll be back in a few hours. Fuss over him for me, okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Thank you."  He gave them both a kiss on the head then left.  Now that Speed was out, he could help find this future dead person.  Because he got at least one good hit before the man died for doing this to his family.

"H should have avenging angel wings," Xander said quietly.

"He keeps them in the filing cabinet in the office."  Xander laughed and grabbed his stomach.  "Let me see."  He made him let him see, frowning at it.  "I don't think the poultice is helping, Xander."  He went to get a clean compress to put over it.  "Maybe Alexx should stitch it."

"She'll fuss."

"Uh-huh.  Me too.  Gives me a break from all the fussing I got to share it with you."  He got up and went to find him something to eat, bringing the phone back with him.  "Adam, Speed.  The poultice isn't working.  Still wide open.  Exactly.  Now what?  Stitches?"  He nodded.  "I can have Alexx do them."  He hung up and called her.  "Adam agreed since it still wasn't closed it needed stitches.  Can you do those tonight?"  He smiled. "Fussing over Xander.  I'm sharing the fussing I got."  He laughed.  "Thanks, Alexx."  He hung up and settled beside him, letting him have the grapes.  "Here, you need to eat."  Xander nibbled with him.  "Good boy.  She'll come stitch you tonight and not fuss that much since I've been doing it.  After all, I learned from her."  Xander nodded, resting against his side.  "You did everything you could, Xander."

"I still failed."

"Oh, whine," he said, giving him a look.  "He was going to shoot me even if I had my gun in hand.  I've probably got a write-up from Stetler for not wearing it on my day off."  He let the boy snuggle in better.  "Finish the grapes.  We'll watch some tv."  He noticed the older plasma tv was now in here.

"Movie?" Xander countered.

"Sure, we can do that."  He got up and helped Xander up, letting him take his afghan with him to the in-home theater.  They settled in the front row while Xander flipped through the DVD changer.  Something goofy and funny got chosen, which was good for both of them.  Speed got up to get the phone again, just in case.  Xander snuggled back against his side, sharing his afghan with him so they could watch _Spaceballs_ and it was good.

***

Ryan pulled into the driveway, noticing the patrol car was gone.  Not a good sign.  He pulled up to the house and parked, getting out to head in through the kitchen.  "Guys?" he called.  No answer.  He checked the bedroom.  No bodies.  He went over the rest of the house, ending up in the movie theater.  He found them together, looking like they were napping.  He came down to pause the movie, finding one of the gate guards there.  He coughed, making him jump. "Problems?"

"We, um, didn't get an answer so I came up to check," he said, standing up.

Ryan looked at them then at him.  "Why is there a big blood spot?"  He took off running.  Ryan pounced and got him down, handcuffing him to a seat.  He came over to check.  Speed was asleep.  He woke up when he checked his pulse.  Xander was the one bleeding.  He had a shallow cut on his chest.   He looked at the kid.  "You'd better have a *damn* good explanation," he ordered, arms crossed over his chest.

"I wanted to make sure it was true!" he defended.  "He's like Lazarus!"

"No, he's not," Speed said, looking back at him.  "Who is he?"

"One of the gate guards who unfortunately spotted Xander coming back."

"Call H," Speed said, checking the cut.  "Still not healing right."

"The poultice?"

"Hasn't helped yet.  Alexx said to stitch it tonight."

"Sure.  I tried."

"You do," Speed agreed. "Call H."

He called him from the house phone. "Never guess who I found in the house.  Patrol guy is gone.  One of the gate guards.  The new one.  They were sleeping in the theater watching Mel Brooks.  No clue, H.  I'm here."  He hung up, looking at them.  "Want helped back to the bedroom?"

"Sure.  We can do that."   They helped get Xander up and they both went to lay down.  Ryan took the afghan to wash and Speed got him another one.  Ryan pushed him down and covered him up too then went to let the hummer into the house's gates.  Speed snorted, letting Xander curl up against his side.  "Sure, we'll nap."  Xander nodded.  "You okay?"

"Itches."

"Your chest?"

"Stomach."  He looked at him.  "Why would my chest?"  Speed pointed.  He looked then grimaced.  "How did I do that?"

"The new gate guard did.  He wanted to make sure you were like Lazarus."

"The store?"

"The biblical person."

"Oh."  He shrugged.  "Not my faith."  He put his head back down.  "Can I cuddle?"

"Sure, you cuddle."  Xander shifted closer to cuddle his side and fell back asleep.  Speed petted his shoulders until he fell asleep too.  He hated healing, it always left him needing naps.

Ryan glanced in then grinned at H.  "I made them both lay down since they were sleeping in the theater," he said, closing the door most of the way.

"The patrol unit got called off for an accident.  Steve?"

"Meeting with the banks and their insurance people.  Fornell?  I know he's down here now."

"He got down here this morning.  He has a name but he won't tell us.  He wants to bring them both to us."

"It'll keep me from killing them," Ryan said dryly.  Horatio nodded he felt the same.  "Did you hear he tried to call in to the first conference with the banks and Steve?  Said he had federal authority from the agent overseeing him to do that because he said Xander had skipped some of his taxes."

"Interesting.  Not realistic but interesting."  Horatio looked over as the senior gate guard walked in.  "We should talk."

"Oh, no."  He walked with him to the theater.  His underling was sitting there holding his head.  "What did you do?"

"I wanted to see if what I saw was real!" he defended, trying to stand up. He got to his knees before the handcuffs pulled.  "I only scratched him!"

"You can't do that," Horatio told him. "That's called assault."

"He heals!"

"Did he today?" Ryan asked.  He sulked but shook his head.  "Then you thought wrong."

"I'll fire him, guys.  We'll make sure he can't get back in here," the senior gate guard said.  Horatio nodded at that.  "I'm very sorry."

"It's not your fault.  This is something that does tend to stick in one's mind," he offered quietly.  "Which is why this must remain a secret."  He glared at the young man, who nodded, hanging his head.  Ryan let him go.

"Go to the shack, kid."  He looked at Horatio.  "Why isn't he healing?  I've seen him healing scratches before," he said honestly.  "I figured it was something funky he came in contact with or one of the strange things that keep popping up around here.  Like the day the house disappeared for a while and landed on top of the housekeeper candidate but it ended up being a tree that hadn't been there before."

"The herbs on the bullet," Ryan told him.

"Ah.  Okay.  Well, I hope the boys get better soon, guys.  I'll lock him out."  They nodded.  "The other usual one won't say anything.  I've known him for years.  He probably got drunk and make the same decision.  He was here the day the house disappeared too."  He walked off, heading back to deal with this situation.  You didn't piss off the good residents, like Xander.  You pissed off the bad ones, like the judge who liked to drive around way too fast in the community.  Especially not with some of the boy's poker contacts.

Ryan looked at Horatio.  "Have we seen any of the poker buddies?  His look at me said 'fear of the poker buddies' so it's a thought."

"No.  We haven't."

"I'm going to talk to one.  See if he knows.  You staying for a while?"

"Let me," Horatio said, leaving with a glance in at the boys.  He headed out, going to Fu's.  Fu nominally liked him, at least more than Don.  He walked in and took off his sunglasses.

"One for lunch?" Paul asked dryly.

"Here to see if anyone would know where the accountant is hiding.  Xander's still injured and in bed so it falls to us to be the fist of karma this time."

"The Fed buddy has him hiding," Fu said, coming out of the kitchen.  "How is the boy?"

"The hole still hasn't closed.  Speed's with him right now.  Xander's still healing.  Which is why we get to do it this time.  The system will get its own.  They have people for that.  Where is he?"

"The curly haired goddess knows," Paul said with a smirk.  "She spotted him and his lighter hair.  He decided to try to be you.  Snatched your style and all, Red."

"Same shade?"

"Lighter.  Ron Weasley hair."

"Thank you, Paul."  He tipped him. "Make sure the others know Xander's going to be fine.  He feels miserable right now but we've been making sure he takes care of it."  He walked out, heading to talk to Stella.  He found her in the office with Mac going over a case.  "You have seen the most wanted man in Miami."

Mac jumped.  "Don't sneak up on us, Horatio.  Even we're on edge."

"I have?" Stella asked.

Horatio nodded, coming in further, taking off his sunglasses to look at her.  "I'm told he tried to snatch my style but he only managed Weasley red hair.  Specifically Ron Weasley hair."

That image sparked in her mind. "Oh, damn, he's up the street."  She grabbed him and headed out with him, Mac and a few officers behind them.  "I wasn't sure when I saw him.  Wrong description.  Wearing a copy of your blue suit.  I thought at first he was a relative but then the face made me stop that.  I didn't know.  God, Horatio, I'm sorry."

"You're human, Stella.  It's easy enough to fool us all."  They found the building and he unlatched his gun.  "Where?" he asked quietly.

"Second floor.  Above the old magic shop."  He nodded, heading up there.  That was in the back of the building but he knew.  Horatio checked.  Two were occupied.  She shrugged.

Mac nodded he'd take left, getting a nod while they covered him.  He knocked.  "Miami- Dade PD.  Open up please?" he called.  An older woman opened the door.  "Ma'am, we were told a suspect resides in this building."  He pulled out the picture.  "He currently has red hair we think."

She pointed across the hall.  "That's him.  He's a loud man too."  She looked at him.  "You know that boy."  He nodded.  "You should tell him to talk to his other patrons."  She shut the door.

"I can do that later," Horatio agreed.  He turned and kicked in the other door.  "Miami- Dade PD!" he shouted, leading the way inside.  The man tried to get up and run but an officer pounced him.  "Learned that from Xander?" he asked dryly.

"Flack was right.  Pouncing creates less paperwork than gunshots."  Stella snickered at that.  "Sir, permission to take the long way to book him?" he asked Mac.

"I should permit it."

The man cowered.  "I had permission!"

Stella moved closer.  "If the IRS wants you, they send paperwork to you.  They send people to your house.  They don't go to their accountants."  He swallowed.  "They don't send FBI agents either."  She pointed.  "Right to my desk, boys.  I want the pleasure and I won't hurt him.  Much."  They drug him out.  "Mac, want this room to toss?"

"I'll do it with Horatio.  You go book him and tell Fornell we have him."  She nodded, going to do that.  Mac waited until they were alone.  "You think he'll survive prison?"

"Depends on where they stick him, Mac.  It's entirely possible some of the former poker buddies will take offense at him shooting Xander."  They got down to searching for information on the money he had taken.  Don had kept him informed on what Steve and Morrel had found out together.  "Did Don talk to you?"

"Danny ranted at me once or twice."

"Don ranted at me," he agreed with a small smile.  "It kept them from killing a lot of people."

"It did.  It's always better to let Danny rant then try to reason with him.  How did you get the tip?"

"I went to Fu's and asked Paul."

"He has a crush on Stella."

"Called her the curly haired Goddess."

He laughed.  "Only when she's pissed."  That got a laugh back and they found what they needed.  Where the money was.  He called Morrel.  "We have him and his money trail.  At his apartment.  Above the old Blue Moon Herb store."  He smirked.  "The store was on Xander's list of targets."

"They didn't check above it," Horatio finished.  Mac nodded.  "Interesting."

"How did he find out?"

"Back when Buffy escaped he did a check to see if he could find her and did a count of how many harmful things are in the city.  He marked all the places he couldn't see into. That's what that map was."

"Interesting.  Wonder if he can do that to locate felons?"

"I don't know, we'll have to ask."  Morrel stomped up the stairs and he waved him over.  "We have bank account information."

"Oh, good," he said with a smirk.  "Who has the slug?"

"Stella."

"Even better."  He smirked evilly.  "I'm sure she can cause pain without having to lift a finger or break a nail."  He came over to look, nodding.  "That's where most of the money is."

"We know he went on a shopping trip because he was trying to cop Horatio's style," Mac told him.  He opened up the closet.  "He even got most of the same suits, Horatio."

Horatio looked then snorted.  "His weren't tailored correctly and I have a much better body."

Morrel smirked at him. "A bit vain, Lieutenant?"

"I won my heart's desire.  All I have to do is be good enough to keep him."  That got a smile from him.  "I can tell you if he shopped off the clearance rack that is about six thousand dollars in suits.  Triple that for custom work."

"Why would he have went to the Princess Salon and Spa?" Morrel asked.

"Bad dye job."

"Pity when you spend a hundred bucks on your hair and it still looks like crap," Horatio agreed.

Mac laughed.  "Go tell your lab the good news, Horatio.  We'll bring the information there for everyone to see."  He nodded, heading back to his lab. "A hundred dollars for that bad of a dye job?"

"I'm wondering how he knew."

"Xander owns partial stock.  He goes for the spa side."

"Oh.  Interesting."  He frowned.  "Does he maybe go to guard Harris at those conventions for a *reason*?"

"No comment."

"Okay."  He nodded and they gathered up everything they could.  Fornell met them back at Horatio's lab.  "No letter correspondence so we need computers to look his over."

"I know who it is," he promised.  They handed it over anyway.  Cooper took it to look through, finding the information they needed.  He had made a folder just for those emails.  "I knew it."  He walked off.  "Caine?" he called.  Horatio came out of Trace.  "We have them."

"Do you need help apprehending the agent?"

"Oh, no.  I think he's going to beg.  The guy owed it to his bookie."  He walked off smiling and happily evil for the day.  He hated dirty Feds.  Really, really hated dirty Feds.  This one was going to be sweet on whole other levels.  He walked into his office and paused, looking around.  He looked at one.  "Heartstone."  He looked up and blanched.  "Let's talk again."

"Can I shoot myself?"  Fornell shook his head.  He backed away from him.  "You know, I could've sold certain lists and paid them off instantly!  Not like the kid can't make more!  He's only twenty-five!"

"I don't care," he sneered.  "One more step, kid."  He backed up.  "I want him in front of me on his knees.  He was taking money from someone."  A few other agents pounced him and handed him over.  "Thank you."  He walked him off to talk with him.  He didn't care if the kid did beg.  Or that he didn't hand over the GHS membership lists. That was nice of him to do part of his job.  He had him on enough charges he'd better hope for mercy or else he'd be spending the rest of his life behind bars.  His very long life because he'd be seeing him in a special place for cops and agents who screwed up.

***

Horatio led Steve back into the house.  "Boys?"

"Xander's taking a shower," Speed called, coming out.  "He's still sore.  What's up?  We get the bastard?"

"We got both bastards," Steve said happily.  Xander peeked out of the bedroom. "Get dressed."  He nodded, moving slowly to do that.  "He hadn't even spent it all."

"The agent only wanted him to get a hundred and fifty.  It was his decision to do the rest," Horatio agreed.

Xander came out in a pair of lounging pajama bottoms, pushed down so his stomach wasn't being pressed on.  "We got him?"

Horatio gave him a hug.  "We do have him and some of the money back."

"Am I getting the rest back?"

"Most of it," Steve admitted.  He led him into the office, running a hand over the desk.  "I love this, Xander.  Good job."  Xander preened.  He sat him down and pulled out the forms.  "This is where the money went."  Xander looked and nodded slowly.  "This is what the insurance company agreed it was their duty to pay."

"Why not all of it?" Speed asked.

"Because he did it as part of a crime," Horatio said grimly.  "Basically he's getting back everything except what the guy spent to turn himself into me."

Speed gave him a look.  "You're kidding."  Horatio shook his head.  "Please tell me you're kidding, Horatio?" he asked flatly.

"Red hair, armani suits," Steve told him.  "Had prepaid for plastic surgery to alter his face into his."

"Why?" Speed demanded.

"Because Horatio is happy, content, and respected.  Everything he wanted to be," Xander told him.  Speed shuddered.  "I've seen some guy at one of the spas slowly growing his hair out into mine too.  I'm not sure if I should be creeped out or flattered."  He let out a snort.  "Of course, with his luck recently he'll end up kidnaped."  He looked at Horatio.  "His name and stuff is inside your desk drawer in a white envelope."

"Thank you."  He stroked over his hair.  "So you're getting everything back but a hundred-sixty thousand, Xander."

"I can claim that on the taxes to make the IRS leave me more alone?" he asked Steve.  Who nodded.  "Can you do that so I don't have another idiot this year?"

"I can find you someone.  I don't know all the pertinent tax codes for Florida, Xander."  Xander grimaced but shrugged.  "Though we are shifting things around so they're easier to deal with and so we find out about this stuff sooner.  The fact it took five weeks this time did not amuse me."

"Or us," Speed agreed.  "What about the credit card thing he had going earlier than that?"

"He decided Xander wasn't using them.  If he didn't use them for more than a month he canceled them since he didn't need them and the fees were getting annoying to deal with."

Xander gave him a look.  "But...."

Steve held up a hand.  "I got that mostly straightened out."  He opened his briefcase and handed something over.  "Your new ones."  Xander hugged him then winced and grabbed his stomach.  "Easy on that, kid."

"Can you move to Miami?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure, I'm moving to Miami.  Miss Gold seems nice.  I was going to see if she'd like to go to dinner with me."  Xander grinned at him.  "Any other questions?"

"How long is the change going to take?  Don couldn't get gas the other day."

"I'm fixing all that.  I'm going to confiscate everything and redo it on you.  It'll take me two weeks to get everything back together again.  All right?"  Xander pouted.  "Maybe sooner.  We'll have to see."  Xander nodded.  "I've already set up one account to hold you guys while we trade things over.  They have cards for that now.  Don told me about the gas card situation."  He patted him again.  "Anything else you need to ask about?"

"How bad would it be if I bought out the other houses and planted more trees?"

"I'm not sure the community would let you do that.  I know your land taxes would double.  For some reason they're charging you for the trees this year.  I'm talking to her tomorrow."  He smiled.  "Oh, they found drugs in your neighbor's system."

"They had to.  She was complaining Hubert grumbled too loudly.  There's no way even Blair's research would apply to that."

"How did you know?"

He grinned at him.  "I've met Blair.  He and Reed babbled at each other during the convention."

"Sandburg....  He is?" he demanded.  Horatio nodded.  "No wonder!"  He slapped himself on the head.  "I said I had to do stuff for a Xander so I'd be late to dinner with him and Jim.  He said your name and gave me an odd look."

Xander grinned. "He's not an immie."

"I noticed."  He gave him another hug.  "All right.  How long before you heal?"

"Someone we talked to earlier above the old Blue Moon herb store suggested we take Xander to see those kind of people to see if they can weed it out of his system."

Xander sat up straight and winced.  "I didn't even think about that!  We can go!  Let me find a shirt and shoes!"  He got up and went to find something nicer to put on.

"Put on a t-shirt, Xander.  Not like anyone will care," Speed called after him.  "You might ask if Hubert can go up to DC too."

"It might be a bit difficult but I'll see what we can work out."  He came back in one of Ryan's t-shirts and his sneakers.  "Okay.  Can we go ask?"  Horatio nodded, leading him out to the hummer.  "Speed?"

"I'll go over this stuff with Speed, Xander.  That way he can explain it to Don and Danny.  I'm meeting with a realtor tonight."

"There's a nice place next door," Xander said with a grin.

"Too fancy for me and too big for a bachelor.  Shoo."   He smiled at the hummer as it pulled out.  "Did he fuss you to death?"

"He's been so pitiful he could barely complain about the fussing I've been doing over him."  He smirked.  "That's not a bad return."

"No, it's not."  He pulled out the details he had charted.  "This is where everything is going.  That way others in the family know in case something drastic happens."  Speed nodded, going over it.  "I've been meaning to do that anyway since it has higher yields but it's safer."  That got a smirk.  "He'll need it.  He'll have centuries like this, Speed."

"Can you manage our retirement fund too?"

"Depends on what you have."  That got a nod.

***

Xander walked very gently into the herb shop he loved, looking at the witches in there.  "I have an ouchie that won't heal."

"Why not?" one demanded.

"The anti-GHS herbs he coated the iron bullet with."  He flopped down with a sigh of relief.  "Had to park by the corner."  He lifted his shirt, making them all look away. "Yeah.  It hurts.  It won't heal.  We tried a poultice to take the bad herbs out but they're still here."  He put it back down. "Can we weed the bad herbs out of me?"

"Sweat lodge?" one suggested.  Horatio shook his head.  "Non-sweating?"

"Not really.  They commonly cause a fever in us.  They tend to stick around for about two weeks."  He took off his sunglasses.  "We're very worried since he's not healing at all now.  The scratch on his chest was done earlier and it hasn't even had the hint of healing."

"Well, there are ways to detox drugs from a system," the one behind the counter offered.  "We can try that.  It'll make you pee, Xander."

"I don't care as long as it quits hurting.  It's been over a week since I got shot."

They nodded, one making him some tea while they sat him down to see if they could help him in other ways.

Xander leaned over to one.  "Do you think we could get Hubert to DC magically?" he asked quietly.  "He's missing his girlfriends up there."

She smiled.  "We'll see.  Female dragons?"

"No, two female computer and lab techs."

She laughed.  "We'll see what we can do, Xander.  You could ask Vesvold."

"I figured he's been really busy since he didn't show up when we got shot."  He finished his tea and sure enough he had to pee.  Still no new healing but he wasn't expecting an instant miracle.  Though the spell one found on him was interesting and when she ended it the scratch on his chest started to heal.  They all looked at each other and went back to helping the poor boy.  He clearly needed it with friends like those.

"Oh, there's going to be a problem in LA near my next birthday," Xander announced.  "We've been warned."

"We'll let our brethren out there know," one of the witches said, going to email them.  "July or September, Xander?"

"September."

Horatio looked at him.  "That's closer than we've known so far."

"I don't celebrate mine."

"You will be this upcoming year."

"I'll probably be in LA with a sword," Xander told him.  Horatio gave him a look. "What?"

"We can celebrate before then."  He watched as the healing started on his stomach wound.  Slowly but it was restarting.  They got him more tea and helped him detox more of the nastiness from his body.  One even fussed about the meat he had for breakfast.

***

Xander looked at Hubert that night.  "Okay.  I can't do it magically like the books this time, little guy, but we can do something."  He concentrated.  A small portal opened.  He looked down.  "Sniff, that the place?"  He sniffed then waddled through it.  Xander smiled.  "Call when you're ready to come back or if you need food."  He closed it once his tail was all the way through.  Then he went back to making cookies.  Speed needed cookies to feel better.  And fudge but that was in the fridge.

Hubert found himself in a bathroom.  He looked around, then followed a guy out of it.  He had to move a bit quickly since the inconsiderate person didn't hold it for his tail but that was some humans for you.  He sniffed the women's bathroom, finding her scent trail.  The doors to his friend's section were closed and wouldn't open so he had to lurk and wait.  No one noticed him, even the person looking down and reading.  Who was a nice guy.  The doors opened for the card on his belt.  He followed the scent trail inside and to the right, following the hallway.  He found his friend at a desk.  It had a lot of the blinky screens he didn't understand.

"Okay, I'm pulling up a few different addressees," she was saying to someone invisible.

He looked around then climbed up into her lap, making her squeal.

"Garcia?" the voice out of the air said.  "Are you okay?  Did you get shocked?"

"Hubert!" she cooed, hugging him.  "How did you get up here, baby?"  She cuddled him.  "Let me find the guys these addresses then I'll cuddle and pet, baby."  She went back to typing.  "Sorry, Hubert snuck into my lap."

"How did a baby dragon get into the BAU?" Hotchner asked.  "He's huge, someone should've seen him."  Hubert grumbled.  "Was that speech?"

"No, he can't talk I don't think," Garcia said, petting him with one hand while she typed with the other.  "Here we go.  I have six different addresses on the same street with that name on them.  Each one lasting a few months then lapsed.  Looks like the last one was 919.  They're all odd numbers."

"That street only has six houses," Reed's voice said.  Hubert grumbled at him.  "Hi, Hubert.  Behave for a minute okay?  We're trying to find a bad guy."

Hubert looked up at her then around her back. "No, I don't have a braid like the daddy.  We find bad guys in different ways," she told him.  He shrugged and settled down again.  "He was looking at my back for a braid, guys.  Um, what's around the corner?  He's going up the street by number."  She did another search.  "The next one of his type looks to be 808 Morgan street but that's an even number."  She adjusted the search parameter.  "Hmm.  613 Morgan street?  Is that close?  Or 111 eleventh street?"

"We can check those," Reed said.  "Any others?"

"All even numbers.  You know, he did skip one that was a prime number square.  So I'm thinking the 613 is the more likely."  That got some noises of agreement.  "Anything else I can search for you lovely men today?"

"No, we'll call back if we don't find him there," Hotchner said.  "Find out how he got into Quantico.  We clearly have security holes."  He hung up.

"Oooh, you precious thing.  Where did you come from?"  He waved his tail.  She looked.  "The bathroom?"  He nodded.  "How?"  He made a spitting noise.  "A Tardis?"  He shook his head.  "How did you know what those are?"  He nosed a picture.  "Oh, Abby watched Doctor Who with you.  Okay."  She ran the tape back for the nearest bathrooms, finding the portal opening.  "Did Daddy send you?"  He nodded, cuddling in better.  "Awww.  We love you.  Abby will squeal for days."  She opened up a chat window and sent her an IM that 'he's back' and closed it again. Then she went back to petting him.  Someone came in to see why she was cooing.  "This is Hubert."

"No pets at work, Garcia!" she complained.

"He's not.  He's a friend.  He's a friend of a friend's pet actually.  He likes smart women so he adores me."  She smirked and went back to petting him.  The female agent stomped off.  She waved.  "Bye-bye."  She went back to her usual duties.  Plus seeing how he had gotten into the sealed unit.  Interesting.  Someone reading and looking down hadn't seen him either.  "You are very sneaky."  Someone tapped then opened the door.  "Sir," she said, standing up since it was the Director.  "Agent Hotchner is in the field right now, sir."

"You have a pet in here?"

"No, sir.  He's not my pet.  He's my friend.  If I'm honest, he's the pet of a friend of a friend."

"How did he get here?"   She reran the security camera with the portal on it.  He groaned.  "Where does he belong?"

"Miami.  His father is Mr. Harris."  He went pale.  She picked Hubert up.  "Hubert, this is the Director of the FBI.  The guy who pays my paycheck."

Hubert sniffed then nosed-up a nod at him.

"He's intelligent?"

"He's very intelligent for being such a young dragon."  Hubert smiled at her.  "You are.  Most babies aren't as intelligent as you are.  It's all those smart, pretty men you hang out with."  Hubert steamed and snuggled into his shoulder.  "See, he's a friend."

He walked off shaking his head.  "Do not let him come to work again, Agent Garcia."

"Yes, sir."  She waved and smiled at him.  "You'll just have to go to work with Abby and I'll have to get you after hours, snookum."  She sat down to call her.  "The director thought Hubert was very smart too."

Abby squealed loud enough to carry out to the main office area.  "Awww, my precious one is back!"

"And he's grown!  He's not really lap size anymore.  Now he's lap and chest sized plus tail."  Hubert nodded. "Since I can't bring him to work want to split custody with me?"

"Sure!  I'll come get him tonight."  She squealed again.  "Abby will be over very soon, Hubert.  You be a good boy and suck up the Garcia cuddles."  She hung up, bouncing upstairs.  "Gibbs, I need a ride over to Quantico."

"Why?" he asked, looking up from his current form.

"Hubert's back and Garcia's not allowed to have him at work."

He shook his head quickly.  "How did a dragon get into Quantico?"

"I don't know."  She beamed.  "We can find out though.  Give me a ride?  He likes how you drive."

"I will," Tony said, getting up and grabbing his jacket.  "Come on, Abby."  He waved at Gibbs, tossing him the bottle of advil he had grabbed without her seeing.  He led her down to the SUV and took her over there.

Gibbs took two and put the bottle on the edge of his desk.  Kate came back from the bathroom, giving the empty desk an odd look.  She looked at him. "Tony hiding?"

"He's driving Abby to Quantico to pick up Hubert," Greg said happily.

She groaned, walked off again shaking her head to bang it against a wall.

***

Spenser Reed walked into Abby's lab that night, handing her a bag.  "It appeared in the same bathroom he did right after we got back.  I'm assuming it's food but Garcia had paperwork to do tonight."  He bent down to pet the dragon.  "Hi, Hubert.  How are you today?  You've grown."  He nodded, looking smug.  "Such a good boy.  You didn't get into anything. You didn't bite Prentis when she came in.  We're very proud of you."  He straightened up.  "Anything else happen?"

"Xander's slowly healing from where he got shot.  Speed too."

"Why were they shot?"

"His accountant was skimming a lot of money.  That's how they found a bad Fed, who went to the convention too, down in Miami's office."

He considered that.  "Is he going to name names?"

"No, he said he wouldn't do that.  It'd be unfair.  He was only going to skim a hundred and a half million off Xander to pay his gambling debts and to have some ahead of that."  He groaned, shaking his head.  "His accountant decided to take more since the Fed had given him phony paperwork to skim legally according to him.  He wanted to be Horatio.  Dyed his hair, prepaid for plastic surgery, bought armani out."  Reed squeezed the bridge of his nose below his glasses. "The accountant guy shot Speed and Xander."

"He should've wanted Speed."

"No, he didn't want him to be gay."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "They're okay?"

"Now but Xander said Hubert's been pouting without us."

"Aww."  He smiled and patted the dragon again.  "Well, when you're ready to go home, you let us know, Hubert.  We'll make sure you get back to the daddy."  He nodded, waving his tail.  "Good boy.  You guard the Abby for us, okay?  And the Garcia when she has you.  They need protected."

"I do not!  I have Gibbs for that.  He's a big, huge dragon about protecting me."  Hubert gave her an amazed look.  "He can be."  Hubert got down and went waddling to look at Gibbs.

Gibbs looked down at the sound of sniffing near his seat.  "What are you doing, dragon?"

Reed came jogging up. "Abby told him you were a dragon about protecting her.  Does he smell like one?"  Hubert shook his head.  "Then maybe he's another species of dragon."  He walked him off again, scratching his chest, getting groans of pleasure.  "Come on, you can pet the Abby since she's so nice and she's got dinner for you.  It was kinda neat.  Hotch nearly peed on himself when the bag of food came flying out of the small portal next to him.  He doesn't understand that at all and he looks so confused.  Garcia wanted to tuck him into his couch so he could take a nap."

Gibbs got up, heading out for coffee.  That way he wouldn't complain.  Or rant.  Or even yell.

Tony waited the five minutes for him to get out of the building then burst out in peals of laughter, joined by Greg and McGee.  Kate snickered quietly.  "Yes, he's definitely a different species of dragon."  Greg fell out of his chair cackling.

Serious Playtimes

Xander looked up at the people gathered around a few months later.  "Okay, who's going to LA with me?"  They all raised their hands.  "Guys, it's an apocalypse.  Then the convention in two weeks."

"The lab caved in," Ryan reminded him.  "We're all on leave so we should go help.  They can shop while you, me, and whoever help with the apocalypse."

"Okay," he decided.  "Are we bringing the pets and Ray Junior?"

"Ray Junior is coming to watch all the pets," Horatio agreed, smiling at his nephew.  "He will be good at the convention."

"Of course.  I'm going to have a whole crew of people looking over my shoulder!"  He shook his head, putting the ferrets into their carrying case.  "Someone call Abby and tell her to send Hubert out to LA."

"Already did.  She's having him forwarded to Don Epps.  We can pick him up from him.  I hope I remembered to tell him," Xander said, considering it.  "I think I did."  He shrugged.  "Okay.  We're all packed?"

"All but you," Don called.  Xander jogged into his bedroom to pull down a lot of clothes into his neverending bag.  Then he went to get some weapons too.  He even got some that he had brought home from the weapons warehouse, in case it was needed. Then he came out with it.  He stuck his shrunken main sword carefully into his hair.  "We all here?" he called.  Everyone nodded.  "Calleigh, are you coming?"

"Yup, sure am.  There's a lecture I want to go to next weekend.  This'll save me on airfare and I'm part of the convention protection patrol."  They nodded at that.  Xander turned and concentrated, making a portal.  She closed the back door once the dogs had joined them.  Ryan came out with a bag of food.  "We'll need that?"

"I was taught to show up with stuff," he said.  He checked, the door was locked.  They walked through the portal and out into the Hyperion, finding a not amused Angel and a very amused Fred.  "Hi.  I brought dinner.  Xander's a fantastic cook."

Fred beamed.  "Tacos?"

"Pot roast, a few pork loins, and a beef dish I'm not sure about."  He handed them over, kissing her on the cheek.  "How are you, Fred?"

"I'm good."  She went to put them into the kitchen and came back to look.  "Come on, puppies."

"Spots," Don called. They came through.  Ray came through last with the ferrets: his and Horatio's.  "We all here?" Eric checked then brought the three bags, grimacing at Xander's.  "Is his heavy?"

"Kind of."  He handed it to Xander, who shrugged.  "What did you pack?  Those negate the weight."

"Weapons."  He grinned at Angel.  "You have an apocalypse and then I have a convention."  He gave him a hug.  "So we'll go check into the convention hotel and be back later so those of us who're helping are briefed."  He bounced off.  "See you in a few hours!"  He went to get them cabs.

Horatio nodded at him.  "He'll be helping; some of us will be waiting to patch people up or as backup."

Angel nodded. "Sure," he said, nodding at that.  Everyone, even the dogs and Fred, left.  He looked at Wesley.  "Don't you dare smile."

"We have a high priest to Strife, one to Ares, and then a few others who are very skilled with swords, Angel.  It can only help."

Angel walked off groaning in displeasure.  This was not his year!

***

Xander bounced into the Federal building, smiling at the receptionist.  "Hi, I need to pick up something from Don Epps, up in the FBI.  Is he in?"

"He is, sir.  Let me call up there.  Your name?"

"Xander.  He'll know."

"Okay."  She called up there. "Agent Epps, there's a young man named Xander here who said he's supposed to pick up something from you today?"  She looked at him.  "He wanted to know what."

"Hubert."

"He said it was Hubert?"  She frowned.  "A child?"

"My baby dragon."  He grinned.  "He might with someone nice smelling.  He would've come from Abby and Garcia out in DC.  He was visiting some friends."

She repeated that and got put on hold.  "Give him a minute to check with someone.  Just in case."  He came back and growled.  "That's fine, sir.  He's here.  Thank you."  She hung up.  "He'll be right down to take you to him."

Xander beamed and nodded, bouncing some.  Don came off the elevator and frowned at him.  "Left him at home?"

"No, he got sent to Charlie instead of me.  He's been there playing with Larry and trying to figure out Charlie's hair all day."  He gave Xander a shove toward the door.  "Did you drive?"

"Nope, I cabbed.  We're in to help Angel with something and then the convention in a few weeks."  He beamed at him.  "Most of the lab is since it caved in."  Don groaned.  "We'll be good."  Once they got outside he smiled at him.  "Don't worry, the apocalypse coming up isn't going to be that bad.  That's why I'm here, to make sure of it."  He patted him on the arm.  "So, is your brother nice?"

"Very."  He led him to his SUV, getting him inside so he could take him over there.  "They let you out here alone?"

"I'm from Sunnydale.  I ran to LA plenty of times, Don."

"Fine," he muttered.  "As long as you're careful."

"Of course."

"Are you armed?"

"Yeah.  I've got my sword in my hair and two guns magically concealed on my back waistband."  Don gave him a look.  "They are."

"I don't want to know," he decided, heading off toward the college.  "Who else is in?"

"Calleigh, Ryan, and Eric are the protection patrol this time.  Horatio and Speed are up, plus Ray Junior's going to his first convention.  All our ferrets, both dogs, Hubert, Danny, Don, Ray, and Adam.  Oh, and Stella and Mac will be up in a week.  They couldn't come up for the apocalypse but they're helping do the patrol at the convention.  LAPD said they didn't want to hear about us."

"I heard about the storm that damaged one lab."

"No, it got both labs and another station too," he said, nodding a bit.  He waved at someone in a car that he knew, getting a horrified look.  "That could be a problem."

"Why?"

"That was my uncle."  He grimaced.  "I hate the family."  He looked at him.  "Why did they send him to your brother?"

"He showed up and cuddled Megan.  She freaked out."  He got off the highway, heading down toward the college.  He saw Xander looking around.  "You can go."

"I'm not sure if I can or not.  I sucked in school."  They parked and he got out, following Don, smiling at some of the pretty coeds.  He walked into the building and sneezed.  "Chalk dust.  Been a while."  Don gave him a look but led him to the floor with offices.  He knocked on a door and walked in.  "Aww, is his hair like mine when I braid it wet?"  Hubert nodded, going back to nosing and pawing through his hair.  "Gently, Hubert."

"He does have a name," Charlie said dryly.  "You are?"

"Xander Harris."  He shook his hand. "I don't know why they sent him to you.  They were supposed to send him to Don since we were leaving today."

"Megan had David drive him over.  He wasn't sure about anything except the dragon belched Chinese food," Larry told him.

"He likes teriyaki anything.  Prefers chicken or beef though."  He picked him up.  "Oooh," he groaned.  "Another growth spurt, Hubert?"  The dragon gave him a smug look.  "You keep growing and pretty soon we won't be able to cuddle you."  He nuzzled his neck. "Were you polite with the new friends?"

"He was very polite," Larry said with a grin.  "What species is he?  The biologists couldn't figure that out."

"He's a baby dragon.  I found him off-plane during a road trip."  He looked at him.  "Ready to go back to the hotel?  You have Ray Junior and all the ferrets in both families to play with."  He snuffled Charlie's ear then waved at Larry, letting Xander walk him off. "Thank you for dragon sitting for me!" he called as he walked off.  "I hope he wasn't any problem."

"No, no problem," Charlie called after him.  "Off plane?"  Don shrugged.  "Can we talk to him?"

"If you can get him to make sense.  He's the one I followed around the New York convention."

"Oh!" he said, sitting up.  "Okay.  That makes a lot more sense now."  He grinned.  "He was a well behaved pet."

"He was," Larry agreed.  "A bit strange with the hair thing he had going.  He let his pet wander?"

"Two female friends in DC wanted to pet and cuddle him and apparently Hubert was moping.  Got that from the email Abby sent me."  Larry smiled, he had liked writing to Abby about a case.  "So they sent him to me but Megan freaked out when he tried to cuddle her."

"He was a very good cuddler," Larry told him.  "Very gentle, didn't claw me when he kneaded my thigh.  Very polite.  He grumbled and pointed at the food to ask before snatching."

"They have ferrets too?" Charlie asked.  "It seems like it would eat them if it eats meat."

"No, he said Hubert's a great ferret wrangler."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "The convention's starting early this year and I keep hearing the world apocalypse about the week before it so we'll see what's going on."  He walked out, finding Xander letting a pretty girl pet him.  "Won't they mind?"

"He liked her."  He shrugged and smiled at her.  "Come on, Hubert.  Don misses Hubert cuddles too.  He's going to be impressed with how big you've gotten since you went visiting."  Hubert nuzzled the young lady's leg, getting a laugh before walking off with him.  "He said thank you for the nice pets."  He grinned at Don.  "I made sure he had good manners."

"Larry said he asked before he snatched food."

"In human?"

"Grumbled."

"Oh.  We're still trying to figure out if he'll end up speaking English or something."  He shrugged but grinned down at him, getting a strange look.  "What?"  Hubert shook his head, walking off faster. "Fine, be that way then.  We can go see Angel and Fred later.  Ryan brought Fred some food."  Hubert perked up at that, staring at the SUV.  "The black one."  He walked over to that one and sniffed then waited patiently for Don to open the door and Xander to heft him inside.  He snuffled both of them then laid down on the seat.  "Thank you, Don."

"Welcome, kid.  Which hotel?"

"The convention hotel."  Don gave him a look.  "The Excelsior."  He nodded, heading that way.  "I wonder if this is where Calleigh's lecture is."  He looked back.  "Comfy?"  He nodded.  "Good."  He smiled at him.  "He missed Garcia and Abby.  He walked around the house pouting about missing them.  Plus that was while I was healing from being shot."

"You got shot?"

"Yeah, my accountant was skimming with the help of the Fed who was at the convention with you guys.  He shot me and Speed for finding out.  But we're fine now."

"Good.  That's good."  He pulled back onto the highway.  "Why would he go see Fred for dinner?"

"Ryan brought food for them so he wouldn't seem like an ungrateful person who was coming in to help them save their own asses - and everyone else's.  Plus it kinda flustered Angel since he hates to think I can do anything good.  He kinda sees me as helpless and a buffoon.  Not that I wanted his girlfriend but he thought I did.  The asshole vampire is not fun to deal with."

"Vampire?" he asked.  He reached up to turn off the camera.  "What is going on this time?  Apocalypse?" he asked when Xander opened his mouth.

"Sometime next week or next weekend we'll be having a slight apocalypse.  A small demon invasion we think.  So we've come to help with that.  Ryan, Adam, and I are all good at that stuff so we're going to help.  Horatio and Speed needed the vacation.  Don and Danny can help if we think a lot of them will be burnable or shootable.  We're not sure yet.  Only Wesley and Angel know so far so we needed to talk to them to see what's coming.  Oh, Horatio said if and when I ran into you I had admit to bringing stuff this time because of the apocalypse but he knows what I brought and it's not that dangerous, plus it's locked in my bag."

"Things?"

"Weapons."

"Like guns?"

"Well, a few.  A flame thrower.  A few other things.  Probably useful.  I'm only going to use them if we have to against the building or against a horde of demons."  He grinned. "So, how have you been since the New York convention?"

"Nice change of topic," he said dryly.  "I need to know more about this since it's going to endanger my city, Xander."

"We'll be going to see Angel tonight for a briefing.  I guess you can come."  He found his phone and called Ryan.  "It's me.  Don wants to come to the briefing.  When are we going?  Okay, we can do that.  Did you bring my bag?"  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He hung up. "Head to the Hyperion.  We're meeting back there now that we're all in the other hotel."

"Sure."  He headed that way instead.  He remembered where it was from the slave auction problem.  He pulled into the parking lot, looking at the rental cars.  "All yours?"

"Possibly."  He got out and let Hubert out.  "Come on, Fred's inside."  He walked that way, snuffling Ray Junior's leg.

"Hey, Hubert."  He petted him.  "Come meet Fred since you like girls."  He walked him that way.  "Fred, this is Hubert, Xander's not so baby of a baby dragon."

"Awww, he's so adorable!" she cooed, reaching down to pet him.  "Such a cutie!"

"He uses it to suck up food."  Xander walked in.  "Don said he needed to know too, Angel.  If it's going to endanger the city he wants to.  Plus he's had to deal with Sunnydale investigations before."

"Whatever," he said.  "You know, I'm sure the slayers and witches can help without you."

Xander snickered.  "Sure, you do this without the chosen warrior of Ares and the high priest to Strife, dude.  Really."  Angel moaned at that.  "And the weapons I brought."

"We have swords."

"I can take down the building they'll be coming out of."

"Good point.  You do know explosives."  Xander took his bag from Horatio, pulling out something.

Don watched.  "How did you do that?  It can't possibly fit in there and there's no way that shrinks or collapses."

"The bags are like that," Ray Junior told him.  "They're pretty much bottomless as long as you can fit through the opening.  Even people."

"It's helped get Xander out of places in the past," Ryan agreed from his seat with the magazine.  "Hey, Hubert, Speed has dragon cookies."  Hubert looked for Speed then went over to nuzzle and nudge him until Speed smiled at him.  He gave him a begging look.

"Say please," he said with a smile. The dragon huffed, his tail swishing gently.  "Good enough."  He dug out the bag of cookies, handing him two.  He scarfed one and carried one back to nibble while Fred admired him some more.  He handed Fred the bag.  "No more than three more or he gets hyper.  A bouncy dragon is not fun to handle in the middle of the night."

"Okay."  She went back to petting him.  "You have beautiful scales."  He preened at her.

Don Epps shook his head.  "I thought Xander was the strangest thing I'd ever run into."  Xander gave him a hug for that compliment.  "Get off!" he complained without heat.  "Any more like that weapon?"

"Yeah, a few," Xander agreed.  He looked at Angel.  "So, when?"

"Saturday or early Sunday.  We think.  The time code's strange."

Xander grimaced.  "I've been having the repetitive nightmare syndrome.  It shows almost no one there.  Buffy, you?  Slayer dreams?"  He had been ignoring her but they needed to know.

"Not a lot of people but a lot of demons.  Like blocks of demons."

Xander nodded.  "I have flame throwers too."  He clapped his hand.  "Do we have a field plan?"  Angel nodded.  "Where do you want us?"

"Your hotel," he said.

Xander snickered.  "Sure.  Actually, our hotel...  Adam?"

"About six blocks away," he admitted.  "I've asked Vesvold, they can shield it for us."  That got a nod.  He pulled his sword. "Some of us have fought these battles for a very long time," he said dryly.  "Where do you want us?"

Angel stared at him.  "Me...."

"Adam," he corrected patiently.  That got a quick nod.  "The same as Xander is my protege.  I found him and trained him.  Then we worked on his *other* training."

"You and the dance teachers, plus Ryan," Xander agreed.

"And Ares," Ryan reminded him.

"Yeah, and Ares.  He kept weeding out my berserking tendencies."   He looked at Angel.  "Where?"

He'd have to give in to the inevitable with that sort of resume of teaching.  "Want a side or middle?"

"Middle.  With what I am I'm damn hard to kill anymore."  Angel gaped.  He waved a hand at Adam, who nodded.  "I'll take middle with Ryan.  Adam can take an edge and guard it?"  Adam nodded.  "Anyone who needs the weapons they can be near him.  That good, Adam?"

"That's fine," he agreed.  "Oz is coming as well."

"Haven't seen Oz since the parallel universe thingy in the hellmouth," Xander said happily.  He looked at Angel again.  "What block?"

"Say three blocks back," he said, pulling out a map.  "Here's Wolfram and Hart.  They're coming out of there, we think.  You and Ryan can get here.  Conceal until they show up.  If they take another route, run."  That got a nod.  "Anyone who has the harder weapons and wants to help can use the edges and move toward the building."  That got a nod from the others.  "What else do you have?"

"If we have to drop the building, I can do it three ways.  I can also take out a horde of them running toward me," Xander told him.  "Don't worry about it.  I have shit."

"Good.  Fine.  Buffy, I want you near where Xander is.  Do you think you can work that while Willow and the other witches help stem the tide?"

"Sure.  Xander?"

He shrugged.  "I don't care."  He didn't look at her, studying the map.  "Where are they heading?"

"Food.  Anything that moves."

Xander pointed at something.  "Food source in a mall.  Food source in a park. Food source in the touristy areas.  Are they going to be heading for a particular way?"

"No."  He shook his head.  "Some may split off.  I'm taking the next block up and moving my way up."  That got a nod.  "Move toward the building.  We don't want them to get past us."

"Any particular type?" Xander asked.  "Are flame throwers going to work?"

"On about half of them.  They're opening a general portal."

"You know, that's kinda dangerous and they'll have to link it to something huge to steady it.  I have to focus mine and I can't make them that big or hold them for very long."

"They've been storing energy for decades," he told him.  "You can create portals?"

"Yeah.  That's how I go on road trips."  He grinned.  "Plus how we got here.  How did you think the portal worked?"

"I thought maybe Wolfe asked."

"No.  He makes mine," Ryan told him.  "He can't do much magically but he can do that and small spells.  How hard would it be for a normal person to disrupt it, Xander?"

"Disrupt it?  Take out the edges of it.  Whatever it's anchored to and it'll twist.  Um.... firing into it might keep some of them from coming out.  I don't know, Ry.  Do you think you can get a shot at that range?"

"Probably not until we get closer. Depending on what they're using."  He shrugged.  "We'll figure it out.  The bags are light enough to carry with us and hidden inside our shirts they probably won't be hurt or damaged too bad."  That got a nod.  "Did you pack my main sword?"

"It's in the bag.  I got yours, Adam's main and backup he had at the house, Don, Danny's."  That got a nod from them.  "Ray, I want you guarding the pets."  That got a nod.  "Plus your uncles."  That got another nod from the parties involved.  "Horatio, if you have to, the hotel isn't that far away.  I want you to head the back way and fire at the portal if we have to.  I'll call or text."

"Agreed.  Leave me something I can use."

"Of course."  He grinned.  "Why would I do otherwise?"  He gave Angel a look.  "Okay, anything else?"  Fred suddenly giggled so he looked over.  "Hubert, those are girl parts.  Dragons don't have those because you hatch from eggs.  We don't hatch, we're pushed out alive and have to eat from the mothers.  That's what those are for."  Hubert looked at Fred, who nodded.  So he cuddled them instead.  "He's growing so fast," he sighed.

"He can go back to the dragon land once he's too big," Ryan promised.  "We can make sure he won't be bothered.  Take another mystical road trip."  That got a nod.  "Is it just us?"

"We have a few slayers.  Willow heard about this one and activated the next few in line," Buffy offered.

Xander nodded.  "That's cool.  Are they trained?"  She shrugged.  "Have them do the back edge and work their way in, Buffy.  Less chance of death that way and very little is getting past us."  She nodded.  He looked at Angel.  "How will we know?  We can't hang out with weapons for very long or Don's people will show up."

"There'll be a small earthquake," Wesley said.

"From the portal?"  That got a nod.  "How many have we had?"

"Three.  This one shouldn't be substantial but a good size. That could be what makes people absent from all the portents.  By the way, Xander.  Thank you for the inventory of what you have."

"Not an issue.  If you need something yell and I'll photocopy or whatever."

"He can have any of the dead things books," Don ordered.

"Well, yeah, anything in the dead or dying magic books is yours.  I keep them in a trunk for a reason."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Why didn't you cut the head off the zombies?"

"We did but we had to stop the main creator, who was himself a very old zombie.  We needed the dissolving potion."

"Two parts egg yolk, one part hen's blood, one part lemon juice, and one part cedar bleach?" he guessed.  "That's what I used last time."  Horatio gave him an odd look, his hands drifting up to his hips.  "It was wandering around!  I didn't want it to bite someone!"

"We used cedar oil," Wesley told him.  "Did the bleach work?"

"Fairly well and it made sure it didn't leave any dead thing germs behind."

"I'll have to try that next time."  He wrote down the recipe.

Angel shook his head, looking at Horatio.  "How do you put up with him?"

"He's like my son," he said firmly.  "It's not that hard as long as you try to understand and him and respect his mind."  He quirked an eyebrow up.  "You never saw the wonderful young man he is."  Xander bounced over to give him a hug.  He smiled.  "You're worried about what?"

"Saw my uncle on the way to pick up Hubert."

"They tried to get a judge to make you support them," Willow offered.

"I haven't gotten any legal paperwork and they can't do that without me being represented."

"They had a Sunnydale judge," Willow told him.

Xander looked up then at Gunn.  "Know someone I can hire?  Before I have to kill them?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Kill them?  No, that's my pleasure."

Gunn snickered.  "I'll look to see what they've done, Xander.  I owe you after you got me that thing for Christmas that let us save Fred."

He shrugged. "I figured it'd come in handy.  It was a present.  I'll pay you the going rate so you can have fun stomping on the stupid ones."  He looked at Horatio again.  "What're we doing for dinner?"  Hubert looked up from his cuddling.

"We'll get food back at the hotel."  That got a nod.  "Anything else we need to know?"

"No, it's pretty well all we do," Buffy admitted.  "How did you guys find out?"

"One of my poker buddies told me right before he committed suicide in Federal custody," Xander told her.  "He was a Mala Noche and he had some pretty strange contacts."  He looked at Hubert.  "You coming with us to play with the ferrets?"  He nodded, sliding off the counter to go with them.  "Who're we riding with?"

"Me," Don said, smiling at them. "Good to have you back, Hubert.  I missed you snoring in my ear during the news."  He walked them out.  "See you in a few days, guys."

Xander picked up the weapons, putting the launching tube back into the bag on his way out the door.

Don pointed.  "Is it always like that?"

"Only with Harris around," Angel told him.

"Why me," he muttered, heading out.  He had to warn people about this.  He watched them head off and went back to the office, staring at Megan.  "The dragon was very polite to Larry and Charlie."

"He still tried to nuzzle my breasts!"

"He was hatched, he doesn't know what they're for.  He probably thought they were fatty pillows."  He sat down.  "Harris is in."  They all moaned.  "Along with most of Caine's shift in the lab."  He looked at them.  "Saturday, something's going to happen.  It's going to be bad.  Don't interrupt and take cover if and when it does."  They all gave him odd looks.  "Don't ask.  I had to talk to Harris and that Angel guy again."

"Are you okay?"

"He pulled a small missile system out of a carpet bag."

"It won't fit," she said.

"It did fit.  All the way inside.  I was told that they can hold anything you can put inside it and it's bottomless.  Plus where Hubert came from a road trip off plane."

"Off...."  She laughed.  "Good one, Don."

"Not joking," he said.

"That's impossible.  Even Larry said that's impossible."

"So's that Angel guy and Harris."

"Oh.  Well."  She shrugged.  "Ask Charlie and Larry?"

"I'm going to get the bag for them to look at.  Hubert liked playing with Charlie's hair.  Oh, the LAPD does not want to deal with the convention in two weeks.  That's why most of Caine's lab is up."

That got a nod from Colby.  "Better than us, right?" he offered with a grin.  Don gave him a look.  "Oh, come on!"

"No.  If they need it, we have to respond since we know.  It's at the Excelsior."

That got a whine from Megan.  "Must we?"  Don nodded.  "All weekend?  I have a date with Larry."

"Tough."

"Damn it."  She pouted.  "Is Charlie going?"

"He knows some but he never said anything about disappearing that weekend."

She huffed and went back to her work on her last case.  "Are you calling in support from the others?"

"Some of them.  The guy from Miami ended up being dirty."

She groaned.  "Oh please tell me that wasn't the agent involved in that horrible money scheme?"

"Nope, it was Xander's money.  Heard that from Fornell."

She banged her head on the desk.

***

Gunn showed up the next day while Xander was out getting some sun.  "The judge decided that the public defender they hired to represent you was good enough."

"That's illegal."

"I know that."  He handed him something.  "Sign.  Date.  We can file a protest."  Xander read it over and signed then handed it back and a small folded wad of money.  "Xander...."

"You're doing the work.  Don't whine at me.  What else am I going to do with it, shop?"  Gunn snickered. "Thanks for keeping the two teams apart."

"Not an issue.  Wes thought it might be a good idea.  He knew something went down with you and them."

"Buffy got drunk at a frat house and ended up in a dog pile.  She blamed me for not saving her.  Her mom blamed me for not being in the frat house.  She tried to have me charged with rape."  He sipped his water, weathering the horrified look.  "Yeah.  This was after they told me not to come home, ever.  Then they came down after Willow tried to hack my accounts in New York, took some money, and blew up my car in Miami.  Tried to blow up Danny's car too.  Buffy claimed she was still drunk and Willow had cameras all over my house to catch film of us having sex.  She was trying to make a tape to sell online."  He took another drink.

Gunn shook his head quickly.  "Damn.  When you guys had issues...."

"She really had issues.  Yeah."  He put his water down.  "How long do you think it'll take?  I don't want them at the house in Miami."

"You willing to pay them off?"

"No.  I'm willing to pay someone to kill them.  Someone might be able to talk me into it but not this morning."

Gunn nodded.  "Then we'll see what we can do.  The challenge won't take that long to get to.  There's not that many judges who handle cases that come from there."  He stood up.  "Let me file the challenge.  You sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Thanks, man."

"I do for my friends and true family, Gunn."  He smiled and left.  Xander went back to his lunch, looking down at his dogs.  "Good boys."  They both stared at him until he tossed down pieces of his sandwich for them.  They caught it in midair and put their heads back down.  Xander stretched and whistled at someone he recognized, waving her over.  "Hey, Melissa.  These are my dogs, Spots."

"Hi, boys," she said, petting them both.  "What are you doing in town already?" she asked, sitting down.

"We had a small storm down in Miami that took out most of the family's lab so we're here early for the convention and an issue coming up that they needed help on."

She stared at him.  "I'm a slayer, Xander."

"I'm from Sunnydale."  She gasped and stood up.  "What?"

"You're the one who hurt her!"

"No, I wasn't even in town when she got drunk at the frat house.  Nor was I the one who was making her get drunk at the frat house and act irresponsibly since she called off patrol for it from what I heard.  I was in New York when that happened."

"He's right.  I was blaming him for my own stupidity," Buffy said.  "Calm down, Melissa."  She looked at Xander.  "I was stupid and hurtful."  He nodded.  "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

"Will you come home?"

"No.  My life and my family is in Miami now.  My boys are employed down there.  Horatio and Speed are like my dads.  No."  He shook his head.  He was feeling something from her but he couldn't be right.  "How's the old town?"

"Not good.  Not too bad but not too good."  She sat down and sat Melissa next to her.  "I was blaming him for my problems.  He wasn't in town."  Melissa slumped.  "Who told you about that?"

"My watcher."  She looked at her.  "He said I'm inadequate."

Xander snorted.  "Melissa, none of us are going to live for the training and the hunt.  If he thinks you're that bad at it  they can make your skills pass on without killing you."

"He's threatened to a few times but he was planning on stabbing me," she said quietly.

Xander gave her a look.  "Is he your protector?"  She nodded.  "No.  Get away from him.  Far, far away from him."  She nodded at that.  "We'll talk about it at the convention."

"He said I can't go."

"You bring him here," Buffy said.  "If you need this convention to be healthy and sane he can't stop you."

Xander sighed.  "It's probably deeper than that.  Has he made a play?"  She nodded, blushing.  "Charge him with it."

"I'm too old."

"If he's forcing himself on you, there's no age limit," Xander said.  "Even with what we are, we still have a choice.  We're not concubines anymore and he doesn't own you.  You talk to Horatio.  He's a cop and he can tell you *everything* you're able to do about him."

She nodded.  "I can do that.  Sorry, Xander."

"Not an issue."  He looked around.  "There's Speed.  Speed?"  He looked over and waved.  "Where's Horatio?"

"Behind me.  He'll be right down."  He came over, smiling.  "Hi, I'm Tim Speedle."

"Tim, this is Melissa, and Buffy."

"I remember," he said.  He smiled at her.  "We missed the last convention," he said quietly.  He would ignore the felon since it was important at this moment.  She smiled.  "Was Xander a good help?  Horatio and I helped mentor him."

"Very much.  Um...."

"He can help you too," Xander assured her.  She nodded, going with him.  "He does know, Melissa.  You can tell him everything."  She nodded.  He reached down to pet his dogs, earning dual laps.  He looked at her again.  "So."

"So," she agreed.  "You're really happy?"

"Very.  I have a good life.  I'm bored about half the time because I don't do a whole lot but I'm getting back to things."

"I kinda know about Melissa and what she does."  Xander shrugged. "You're like her?"  He nodded.  "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm good.  My boys love me. My family is very special to me," he assured her.  She nodded.  "I hope you have a long, good life, Buffy."

"Thanks, Xander.  It means a lot to me."  She got up and walked off, going back to the Hyperion.  She had to think.  She had screwed up so badly in the past.  There was no going back over it.  Willow saw her and gave her a hug.  "He accepted my apology."

"That's good."  She sat down with her to cuddle her.  She needed it.  "Where's Melissa?"

"Talking to the redhead and dark haired guy Xander brought with him about that group's stuff."

"At least she's got a good mentor.  Xander's always been a good leader.  Look at graduation."  She got a nod and they cuddled.

***

Xander looked at the demons pouring out of the building.  "Aw, fuck me," he sighed.  "Ry."  Ryan looked over and they moved to intercept.  "This is not good!"  He concentrated on the building.  "We need to bring the building down!" he called to Adam as the first ones reached them.  He nodded, calling Horatio while he worked on the sideline.  Ryan and Xander were working their asses off, Buffy and Angel up the road from them.  Xander finally had enough and pulled out something, throwing it ahead of them.  "Duck!"  They all ducked and it went off, spreading a fire spell over the heads of the demons.  They screamed as they burned and he went back to it.  Ryan followed, moving up with him.  They were going to have to fight step-by-step this time.  He saw Horatio go speeding past on another street.  He saw others joining in, nudging Ryan.  "Fighters!"  He nodded at them.  Then pointed.  "The source!"  One nodded and they kept going.  It was swing and defeat then move in.  It was not fun.  Angel and Buffy were passed after a few minutes.

Xander threw another flame ball.  "Duck!"  They all ducked and more died.  It gave them enough time to pant before moving on.  Xander felt himself slipping but he was not going to go this time.  He concentrated, focusing on the portal.  He saw something be shot into it.  It warped a bit but it was still functional.  "I need up there!  I can close it, Ryan!"  He nodded and they broke, running that way.  Xander took a head or two on the way but oh well.  They got closer and Xander took out the bag, digging until he came up with something.  Then he threw it into the portal and chanted, hands raised.  Willow hurried over to help.  He concentrated and it slowly closed, then he looked up.  "Do the building!  Horatio, it's got to come down!"  He got something else out but one of the other hunters grabbed it and fired it into the foundation, bringing down the start of the building.  Xander concentrated, switching the polarity on it, making it suck in some of the demons.  It finally closed and he was on his knees, panting for breath.  "Ow."

Ryan helped him up, handing him to Speed.  "Let us do some mop up.  He can join us when he's caught his breath."

"Not much need," Willow said, raising her hands.  "Flames work well apparently.  We can do that."  She said something sharp and flames shot out of her hands, frying the demons.  Buffy and Angel backed up as she moved closer.

"Enough!" Buffy shouted.  Willow stopped and they mopped up the last few the other slayers had let get past them.  "We all good?" she called.  The younger slayers all nodded.  Melissa was holding her arm.  She looked at it.  "Broken, dislocated?"

"Broken," she whimpered.

Adam stomped over.  "Let me see, Melissa."  He got a horrified look.  He smirked at her.  "Some of the members are stranger than others, ducks.  Let me look.  I was a doctor a while back."  She nodded, letting him feel then set it for her.  "Get me something to immobilize it for a while."  Buffy handed over her jacket.  "Something harder."  Willow jogged up and changed the jacket for him.  "That'll work."  He wrapped it around her arm, letting Willow set it.  He checked and straightened one spot.  Melissa yelped but Willow tightened it around it.  "There.  Give it a few hours to set."  She nodded, leaning against his side.  "We're here for the convention as well, dear.  We'll talk during it."

"Did Horatio talk to you?" she asked quietly.

"No.  Should we?"  She shrugged.

"Her watcher is pushy," Xander as he came over.  "Threatened to kill her too."

"I can take care of that," Adam promised.  He pulled her closer.  "We'll deal with it. You can check in already."  She nodded, hugging him.  He looked at Xander, catching his eye and the look at Buffy's back then at him.  He smiled and shook his head subtly.  "Are we done?"

"We're done," Angel called.  "Let's disappear."

Buffy looked at Melissa.  "I'll come see you later at the hotel.  Okay?"  She nodded.  "Good work."  She headed off with the other girls.

Xander looked around.  "I agree, guys, let's fade."  They nodded, heading back to the hotel.  Speed handed Xander his bag and sword.  He put it inside the bag.  Adam put his.  Ryan put his.  Horatio put in the remains of what they had used.  Xander looked at the others, nodding at them.  "Nice shot.  Thanks.  See us later?"  That got a nod and they faded off into the distance too.  They headed back to the hotel for drinks and some time to shower and change clothes.  Xander emptied the bag once he was back in the suite, letting Don and Danny hide things.  Then he went to take his own shower. Danny came in to baby any healing injuries.  "Just a few claw marks and bruises."  He took a kiss and gave him a grin.  "I'm okay."

"You're still really hot with a sword," he teased.  Xander beamed and got into the shower.  He helped him scrub down then let him change into something more comfortable.  Someone tapped on the door.

"Who is it?" Don called.

"Epps."

Don got up to open it. "Hey, another Don.  We should hold our own convention."

"Cute."  He smirked as he walked in.  "Everyone good?"

"No losses on our side that I know of," Xander told him.

"Good.  The weapons you have?"

"Are going back to Miami," he promised.  "Back to their safe, watched over spot."

"Fat chance.  They're in my city, Xander."

"My babies."

"Xander."

"You can have a few if it'll make your boss feel better and more macho."

"Probably.  What did you bring?"  Don showed him the closet, earning a pout from Xander.  He looked then shuddered.  "You brought that sort of firepower...."  He looked at him.  "Why?"

"We didn't know what it was coming out of.  I was taught to overplan the bangs if necessary."

"Yeah, it was," he decided.  "We were watching and it was horrible."  He looked around.  "Put it back in the bag.  Now."  Xander nodded, putting everything into a different bag then putting it into the closet.  "Thank you.  What were those flame balls?"

"Spell activated," Don said with a small shrug.  "Some witches made 'em before we left."

Xander got one out to show him. "They can be ignited with mundane means.  You'd have to have a timer and a spark of thermite."  He opened one to show him.  "Put the thermite tip here," he said with a point.  "It's hot enough to ignite that and that'll burn like pitch until everything it comes in contact with dies."  He handed it over.  "It's totally demonic based.  All demon parts, goo, or blood."

"Okay.  Like the ones that came through?"

"I think I saw a flame demon but I think Ryan cut it into bits.  It would've been kinda green and a bit squishy."

"I think I saw one, but I saw so many."

"Exactly.  That's why I over planned.  I didn't know if I needed to bring down the building then go in to get the portal.  Just get the building and it'd collapse the portal too.  Or even if we had to bring down that building then go find the portal somewhere else."

"Okay.  How many of these happen around here?"

"Ask Angel.  I live in Miami.  We only have one a decade or so."

"Even better.  Think I could move?"

"Hubert would like your brother to come closer so he could play with his hair," Don said with a grin.  "He kept checking ours to see why it wasn't curly and Xander's to see if he had braided it wet again."

Don smirked. "Girls like it too."

"He's a boy dragon so I'm not sure why he likes hair,"  Xander admitted. "Or breasts."  He shrugged.  "We'll figure it out as he grows.  At least until he's too big and we have to send him home."  One of the dogs came over and he petted him. "Were you a good boy?"  The dog barked and handed him a ball.  "Sure, we'll play."  He tossed it, letting the dog run to catch it then bring it back.  He and his Don both played with him.  "So, it's done."

"Good.  Be normal tomorrow?"

"I'll be shopping the rest of the week."

"Good!"  He smirked.  "Edgerton is in.  He caught it with us from the top of our building.  He was gaping in horror too."  Someone pounded on the door.  "That sounds like my tribe."  He went to open it.  "Ian."

"Don."  He walked in.  "You have what, Harris?"

"Horatio knows."

"Uh-huh."

"He does.  He keeps a very close eye on it," Xander assured him.  He tossed him the ball, letting him throw it for the dog and make him happy too.  "I was a good boy."

Don shut the door.  "You were."  He smiled.  "I don't want to see any of those the rest of the time you're here."

"Sure."  He took the ball back and they left.  He petted the dog, cooing at him.  "Daddy loves you, you're a good puppy."  The dog lapped him then hopped up to cuddle and get petted.  "My good boy."

Danny got the next knock, Adam.  "Hey."

"Please tell me she's not an immie?" Xander begged.

"No.  Sometimes slayers feel like that to us and they can feel us as well now and then.  Melissa can feel us and so can Buffy."  Xander relaxed and went back to playing with the dog.  "Where's the other?"

"Ray Junior."

"Ah.  Are you all right?"

"Just fine," Xander said happily.  "Shopping tomorrow?"

"I could enjoy that."  He smiled. "We've gotten Melissa checked in early so we can go over some things with her."

"Get her Watcher away from her."

"I plan on it.  Good choice getting her to Horatio."  He smiled and left, going back to helping her settle in.  He found Ray Junior walking the dog and Hubert.  They were coming inside.  "Any problems?"

"I can't find two of Uncle H's ferrets.  They're hiding inside the bed.  Other than that it's good."  He smiled.  "I'm up in my room if they want to repossess animals."  He took them back up there.

"We're shopping tomorrow."

"I know there was a reason Xander gave me my own bottomless bag."

Adam snickered, going back to where Melissa was waiting.  The man nagging her got a broken collarbone when he grabbed him and squeezed just right. "Is there a problem, Melissa?"

She stared.  "No, Adam.  Not anymore."

"Good.  Then you should be resting that arm."  She nodded, going up to her room.  He walked the Watcher off to talk to him.  He still had some aggression that needed to be worn out.  Pity for the watcher of course.

***

The hotel manager walked up to where Don was sitting, clearing his throat to get his attention. "Is the FBI interested in a particular guest?  We would be more than happy to help."

"No.  Some of the people here are friends.  We're helping guard the convention because a few of the people have a high price on their heads if they're captured."

"I see.  We don't usually host conventions."

He grinned.  "I was at the last one in New York.  They were well behaved, squealing, happy people for the most part.  Someone tried to rob them and they were stopped by some of the people at the convention instead of hotel security.  Then they went back to chatting, shopping, a few seminars, and a bit of cuddling now and then.  A lot more polite than some of the cop conventions that've been through the city.  Though I have heard the most polite convention is actually the S&M conventions."

"We bill ourselves as a family-friendly hotel, Agent Epps."

He waved a hand.  "That's why they rented the whole hotel.  I promise, they're here because of a shared medical condition that makes them squealy, flighty, and like to shop.  Anything like switching bedrooms would be between individuals.  The same as it is at any convention.  Mostly they're very nice monogamous couples and a few trios.  Some with bodyguards, some without.  We're here because they need the protection from some people who believe they're pets. They're not going to harm the hotel, they're not going to cause any problems."

"We weren't sure why they wanted to rent the whole hotel," he said nervously.

"So none of the sort that want to kidnap and torture them can sneak in.  It's a security measure."  That got a nod and a nervous lip lick.  "Almost everyone is gone by the Monday after the convention.  I think Mr. Harris will be the last one leaving.  He usually is.  He's one of the first in and one of the last out because he's a bit bored at home from what I understand."

"The ones with him?"

"Most of the Miami-Dade felony crime lab," he said honestly.  The man went weak kneed.  "For his protection.  He's had to fight off a few kidnaping attempts.  The worst that your people will see is the room where they have a cuddle pile.  They have a monitor in there.  Nothing else is allowed to happen.  You can't even nap in there."  That got a quick nod.  "Just relax.  It'll be fine.  They're a bit demanding but they're nice people as long as you don't totally piss them off.  Like any other guest.  You're going to have guests from all over the world in for this.  It'll be fine.  So far you'd done great and Xander's one of the most picky people there is from what I understand."  That got a quick nod as well.  "Have his ferrets gotten loose?"

"Once but he came down to catch them and walked off chastising it.  He couldn't leave them at home?"

"Everyone in his friends are here with him."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "I understand.  So we should be fine?"

"You should be fine and how well this convention goes shows in a lot of people's future travel plans.  Like I said, you've got people coming in from Europe, Asia, Africa, and the Middle East.  They'll be telling the members who missed this convention how it went plus their friend network back at home.  It's a great way for smaller hotels to get some good business.  I know the one in New York has went up about fifty percent since their convention."  That got a smile.  "Even if the casual person comes into the restaurant or bar for lunch or dinner, they're going to be dressed.  I think the least I've ever seen them dressed in is Xander in some pants to dance in because he knows a unique form of storytelling dance and others have asked him to show it off now and then.  That would be shirtless."

"All right.  Thank you.  How many other agents should we expect?"

"There's five with me for my team.  One agent who roams now and then.  He's the one in the dark glasses watching the dragon in confusion right now."  He pointed behind him.  "Some of the members are agents or police officers.  I know the LAPD passed on the guarding duties to us because they didn't want to deal with a convention this weekend.  There may be some from the New York, Dallas, or DC offices coming in.  We should be fine.  They police their own members.  If one's causing a problem that guy Adam is the national head.  He can lay down the law even about Xander."  He smiled at that.  "Is he causing problems?"

"No, sir.  Though it was cute how the young one with them came back and dumped out a bag then left again."

"They're shopping today."  That got a nod.  "Xander apparently brought enough money to spoil *everyone* with him.  They may have a few more."

"Thank you, Agent Epps.  If I have problems I can come to you?"

"Sure.  If I'm not here, my team will be.  We'll be taking shifts since some of the convention people are night people and some like the sunrise."  He nodded, heading back to deal with his staff to make sure they knew they were having international guests.

Ian walked over.  "What is that lizard thing?"

"Hubert, the baby dragon.  It likes Charlie's hair and breasts apparently are a new thing he's just discovered."  He went back to reading and listening to his live feed from Xander's hidden microphone.  Don had agreed to place it on him just in case.  Plus he had pulled a Gibbs and put a GPS monitor on him.

"We all like breasts and Charlie's hair is fascinating, but there's no such thing as dragons."

Don looked at him.  "You tell Xander that.  He claims he got him on a road trip off- plane."

"Off-plane.  Uh-huh."

He nodded, taking him to Xander's room.  He had given him a key in case something happened.  He opened the bag and pointed at what was on top.  "Tell me how he does that one."

Ian reached in to pull the weapon out, frowning at it.  "Isn't that impossible?"  He put it back.  It went in.  Didn't hit a bottom.  Didn't get snagged.  "How?"

"I don't know.  I'm going to introduce that topic to Charlie later."  He walked out, closing and locking the door behind him, checking for ferrets.  He opened the door and found three of the four staring at him from the bed.  The other one tried to crawl over his foot.  "Oh, no."  He put him back and closed the door again.  He looked at Ian.  "He says it's a baby dragon."

"Uh-huh."  He walked off nodding.  "When is Charlie getting here?"

"After class."  He went back to his post, smiling at Xander's babble at someone he knew.  "Must be another member."  He heard the word 'poker' and groaned.  "No, Xander."  Horatio seconded his quiet complaint.  Xander pouted but Speed promised to spank so it was vetoed.  The boy went back to his shopping and it was good enough apparently.

Ryan sat down next to him.  "Did he ever tell you about the game where he walked into a warehouse and sat down to play with the guys who were playing to see who got which one when they stole them?"

"No," Don said, looking amused. "Did he win?"

"Bankrupted them and then turned them in.  Around Miami Xander's known as a force for karma.  The only one he hasn't gotten in person was the one who shot him and Speed.  He was laid up so he let us do it."

"Good!"  He shook his head.  "I never would've figured Heartstone."

"Gambling debts and he wanted a secure future.  He still committed suicide in his cell.  So did the accountant after one of his other former poker buddies got done with him his first night."  He gave him a look.  "Without being asked.  They didn't like the fact he had shot the boy.  That pissed them *all* off.  Now Xander's being a macho guy and it's all good for us.  He'll be fine.  Remember he's from a few hours away."

"I know.  That doesn't mean there's no new threats."

"Oh there is.  Angel came up and suggested he stop the next apocalypse by giving himself to the demon over it.  Xander said 'sure, as long as I can kill him when he tries to touch me'.  Angel told him no so Xander walked off cackling and said they'd be meeting when he showed up and he'd die anyway if he tried for him.  Angel walked off pouting until Danny got to him later that night.  Then he realized why Xander's so tough."  He smirked.  "He even showed him some of one of the dance DVD's."  He stood up and walked off.  "Yes, he's a baby dragon in the middle of a growth spurt."

Don snickered at that thought.  Xander was a lot tougher than most people saw.  The flighty boy was cute but the warrior underneath was a strong guy when he was backed into a corner.  "A force for karma?"  He went back to reading, looking at the dragon when it curled up next to him, staring at him.  "What?"  It licked its lips.  "I don't have any of the cookies, Hubert.  Go ask Ian if he has any."

"No, I don't," Ian called.  "David and Colby are here."

Don listened to Xander saying he'd be back soon.  "That's fine."  He petted him.  "Your daddy's on the way back."  He texted Xander's phone with a 'your dragon's looking at me and licking his lips'.  He got back a cute 'he won't eat you but I'll get him food'.  "Xander will get you food on the way back."  The dragon grumbled but put his head down on his thigh, letting him pet him. "Sure.  You're nearly as good to pet as the dogs.  At least you don't leap and lick."  The dragon seemed to laugh.  He looked over at the amused looking agents.  "This is Hubert, Mr. Harris' pet baby dragon."

"Uh-huh," Colby said.  "He doesn't look like a komodo dragon."

"He's not.  He's a smoke breathing dragon who likes Charlie's hair and has just discovered breasts are comfy napping spots."  They both stared at him.  He nodded, seeing some of them coming in.

"Man, talk about snotty bitches," Ray Junior complained.  "I thought Miami's were bad."

"She was a wannabe starlette," Don Epps called.  "They're all like that."

"Means I'll never date an actress.  Shallow is thy name."  He looked at Hubert.  "Don stopped to get you food, big guy."  Hubert beamed at him.  "Give him ten minutes, okay?" He got a nod so he walked on.  "We're back and still magnificent," he told Ian as he walked past him.  "Even if Xander did coo in Cartier until someone in there bought him something.  Nearly getting Danny's foot up their rear.  Maybe I need the hair."

"No," Horatio called after him.  "No growing yours out that long, Raymond."  He looked at Don.  "Was he good?"

"He was very good.  He let Ian stare at him in confusion for over an hour while he basked in the sun on a chair."

"Good.  Hubert, let's go upstairs."  He shook his head.  "You can pounce Don up there just as easily."  He put his head back down, grumbling.

He looked down.  "If you're a good dragon I'll get Charlie up so you can bat at his hair some more."  The dragon looked at him.  "Yeah, the one with the hair."  The dragon gave him a long stare.  "He's my little brother.  He wants to see those bags and look you over again anyway.  If you're good I'll see if he can come up tonight."  Hubert licked him on the ear then followed Horatio up the stairs.

Horatio smiled at him.  "If you're good, we'll let Tony call Abby or Garcia when he gets in."  That perked the dragon up so he was much happier.

Colby pointed.  "That's the head of the Miami-Dade crime lab."

"I know that.  He's a friend of Xander's.  Like a father to him," Don agreed.  "He's up for the convention with the rest of the family."

Colby shook his head, looking confused.  "Huh?"

"Yeah," David agreed.  "Huh?"

Xander skipped in and hugged Don around the throat, handing him back the bug.  "Next time tell me.  I'm open to reasonable restrictions.  I know it's for my own safety so the Prince we ran into doesn't try to take me this time either."  He kissed him on the head.  "Where's my baby dragon?"

"With Horatio.  Waiting on Don.  By the way, Charlie wanted to give him another look over and I told him about the bags.  Think he could look one over?"

"Sure but it's still magical."  He shrugged and bounced off again.  "Later, guys.  Have a good day.  We're going for ice cream later.  After some playtime."

Don pointed.  "That was Mr. Harris."

Colby gaped.  "Him?"

"Yup.  Him.  Different than we heard."  Don walked in with a big bag.  "He's with Horatio.  Possibly with Xander too."

"Thanks, Epps.  Hi, guys.  Oh, that Prince guy, was he the same as the one in DC?"  Don nodded.  "Pity about him.  But he did buy Xander a shiny thing at Cartier until Danny nearly ripped his throat out for going near our boy.  If I had the money I'd give my boy bling, but I make a cop's salary."  He headed for the elevator, going up to their room.  Hubert nearly pounced him so he smiled and sat down his dinner.  "There you go, Hubert.  Even some noodles like Fu feeds you now and then."  The dragon moaned at him and dug in, licking the food up as fast as he could.  "We'll get you more later."  He sat down next to Xander.  "How much did you bring?"

"About half a mil.  I can call to get more if I need to."

"We shouldn't," Don promised, giving him a kiss.  The ferrets climbed all over them but it was happy and he was happy enough to pet them before putting them into their mini-cage for conventions.  They used the litterbox.  He checked the bed and tossed the blanket off.  "Sorry."

"Not your fault.  I forgot to open the bottom cage door."  He stripped off the top sheet too.  The bottom sheet wasn't dirtied so they could have some fun.

Ryan walked in and looked then shook his head.  He took the dirty things into the bathroom to clean for them.  He heard an inquisitive noise.  "Eric's being an ass."

"Found him some?" Danny asked as he came in.  "What are you doing?  There's a hotel laundry."

"I'm getting the nastiness out before they have to deal with it."  He back to his rinsing out.  "They're playing."

"What did he do?"

"Found himself a set of barely legal twins with huge breast jobs.  They thought he was exotic since he was Cuban instead of Mexican."

"Them.  I forgot we ran into them.  You can play later."  He went to pounce his boys, making Xander squeal in pleasure.

Ryan snickered, finishing up and laying them over the shower curtain to dry.  They weren't using this bathroom so it'd be fine.  He went to answer the door.  He smiled at the manager.  "Yes, sir?"

"Mr. Harris has a problem with his card?"

"Again?"  He called Steve.  "What did you do?"  He listened.  "Which one is on the account?"

"His Am Ex."

He listened to Steve.  "Thanks."  He hung up.  "He said it's fixed, it's a glitch at Am Ex.  It's happened to all of them."  That got a head shake.  "His goes through the East Coast center and it's without power."

"Oh."

"Xander, getting into your wallet.  Am Ex's processing center for your card is without power."

"What got charged?" Don asked.

"A damage deposit for the pets, sir."  The manager gave him a look.

"They're good about not doing anything," Don told him.  "Now and then one of the ferrets misses the litter box but otherwise they're good about stuff.  We clean that up."

Ryan got into his wallet.  "Xander!"

He came out with his usual shopping wallet, handing him the Mastercard.  "I don't think they process from the same center.  Oh, here, this one processes from this state instead."  He handed that one over instead.  "It's new.  I haven't used it yet.  I know it's unlimited."

That got a look then he went to run it, finding he had been correct.  That gave him an idea about the nature of his guests.  He went to hand it back personally.  "Here you go, sir.  Thank you for understanding.  Do you need anything?"

"The ferret couldn't quite get off the bed but I've rinsed the sheet and blanket out," Ryan said sheepishly.  "Can we change them out?"

"I'll send up housekeeping."  He watched the dragon pull out a ferret to cuddle.  "He likes them?"

"He's a great babysitter for the ferrets," Ryan said happily.  "He plays with them all the time."  The manager nodded, getting them someone from housekeeping.  He shooed Xander and them to playing again and met her to show her.  "I rinsed them out.  It's unfair to make you guys deal with that."

She smiled.  "That's nice of you, sir."  She looked around.  "The animals are certainly neat."  The dogs looked at her.  "Especially them."

"They travel to conventions all the time with the daddy."  He helped her bundle them up.  "We're sorry about that."

"We've had humans do it.  It's much worse than a cup sized stain from a ferret, sir."  She got him new sheets and blankets.  "There you go.  Spares just in case."  He smiled and nodded.  She walked over Hubert.  "Watch out.  Don't want to trip over you, little guy."

"That's Hubert."

"I'll remember that."  She smiled and left, going to check the other rooms on that floor for who needed towels.  A few rooms needed more complimentary bath salts.  They certainly seemed to like their pleasures.  She hoped the whole convention was that nice.

***

Charlie grinned when he ran into Don.  "Hi.  You said you had an anomaly?"

"I have a great one."  He walked him upstairs, knocking on Ray Junior's door.  "Do you have the spare bag?"

"Xander has it.  He was checking it for rips."  That got a nod.  "Did the Prince of Slimey show up again?"

"Not yet."

"Good.  I hope Danny got his point across with the foot up the rear treatment."  He smiled at Charlie.  "Hi, Ray Caine Junior.  Nephew to Horatio."

"I've heard of your uncle's work."  He shook his hand. "I'm Charlie Epps, little brother to Don and math whiz."

"That's cool.  I'm hopeless in there but that's really cool."  He pointed.  "The noisy bedroom is Xander's.  Still."  Don laughed, heading that way.  "Hubert and the dogs are all in."

"Thanks," Don said.  He tapped on that door, getting a panting Danny.  "Exercising?"

"My boyfriend."  He looked at Charlie but Hubert knocked him out of the way.  "Impatient!"  He saw him leaning up against Charlie's leg.  "Fine."  He let them inside, letting the dragon catch the escaping ferret then come in to present it to Charlie.  "You are?"

"Charlie, Don's little brother and math professor."

"He wanted to see the bags."

"Don't rip 'em or else the stuff inside is gone and we have to bargain with the demonic mafia to get it back."  He checked a bag, turning it over and concentrating until everything inside came out.  He shook it, looking inside to reach up and get the sword.  Then he gave it another good shake.  The rest of the money fell out.  He reached around inside then handed it over.  "There ya go."  He walked back into the bedroom, kicking out the dogs so he could go back to exercising his boyfriend.

Charlie looked at the pile then the bag.  "It shouldn't...."

Don got another of the bags, pulling out a weapon.  He put it back.

Charlie looked then shook his head.  "No.  Not possible."

"Xander said it's magic.  Anything you can fit inside the opening will fit.  Bottomless.  Just don't rip it."

Charlie opened it and looked inside, then reached in there.  He couldn't feel a bottom.  He kept reaching, still no bottom.  He put his head in there and he couldn't find one either.  He was well past the depth of the bag.  He pulled his head and arm back out, looking at it again.  "Magic?"

"Magic."

He looked at the dragon who was crawling up the chair to play with his hair.  "Sure, go ahead.  Don't pull."  The dragon huffed in his ear before starting to play with it.  He looked at Don.  "He's really a dragon?"

"Baby.  In the middle of a growth spurt."

Charlie frowned. "But that's not possible."

Don waved a hand.  "You tell 'em."

Charlie went back to playing with the bag.  He had no idea how he'd start to figure this out. "There's no good theory that ends with a real infinity.  You're taught to consider infinity a real number, just not one that's exposed to us yet."  He kept scrunching and working it.  "There's little marks around the mouth."  He looked at them and Hubert blew in his ear.  He looked at him.  "Hey."  It smiled at him and went back to blowing in his hair.  "Do you fit in here?"  He nodded.  "Will it hold you?"

Ryan knocked then walked in.  "What's going on?"

"He wanted to look at the bag," Don explained.

"They're fascinating and Xander does fit through a few's opening.  That way you can sneak them out of a dangerous situation.  Paul has one for that."

"Where did we find these?" Charlie asked.

"We were taken across a realm portal by some barbarians who wanted Horatio's hair because redheads were very rare.  Xander and I got taken too because we were with him and could be sold.  We found them there.  We have a whole bunch of them at home.  You might ask Willow to see if she knows how they're made.  Xander said he didn't."

"Willow....."

"Rosenburg.  She's in Sunnydale usually.  I think she's at the Hyperion because of the last apocalypse."

Charlie nodded, standing up.  "Think she'd talk to me?"

"Probably babble at you but yeah," Ryan said, calling the number he had for them.  "Hey, Wesley.  Ryan Wolfe.  Is Willow still there?  Don's brother's a math person and he had a question about these neverending bags Xander found while traveling.  Yeah, those.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She's taking a nap but he said to come over later and Hubert could come suck to Fred for more raisin cookies."  Charlie smiled and nodded, sitting down to go back to his looking.

Don looked at him.  "It'll give you a long time to work on it."

"Yeah, really."  He went back to it.  "Anything you can fit inside?"

"As long as it doesn't rip it and it'll fit through the opening."

"Huh."  He went back to looking at the little marks. "Can you tell me what those mean?"

"No.  I don't do magic.  The closest to magic I get is Ares' ability to plan ahead of time so I'm in the right place to save Xander that time."

Don snickered at that.  "He like that answer?"

Ryan looked up.  "I don't know; do you?"

Strife appeared, giving him a look.  "He grinned an' called you a suckup, Wolfie."  Ryan smirked back.  He smiled and reached over to hit him.  "Gambling is against the rules for you.  Or else Ma gets ta punish ya."

"I'll quit."  Strife nodded.  "Any other orders?"

"Yeah, the Prince is not a content, disgruntled guy with a hard-on.  Fair warning."  He disappeared with a smirk.

"How did he do that?" Charlie asked.

Ryan shrugged.  "That was Strife, God of Mischief.  I'm assuming it's a God thing."  He grinned and walked off.  "I'll go see what he's got planned."

"Tell Colby and David.  It's their shift."  Ryan nodded, sneaking out before the ferrets could help him. He looked at Charlie, smirking some.  "So?  Any ideas?"

"No," he said.  "Not at all."  He blinked at him.  "There's whole new maths here."

"Yup."

"Thank you."  He hugged him.  "This is going to drive me insane but thank you!"  He looked around.  "Can I take the bag with me to Angel's?" he called.

"Go ahead.  Don't rip it.  Make sure it's empty."

"How do you empty it?" Don called.

"Think about whatever you want out to come up.  If you want to empty everything, turn it over and think about it all emptying," Don called.

"Thanks." Hubert stood up.  "He wants to go too.  Is that all right?"

"Yeah, Fred won't hurt him," Danny called.

"We'll be back soon," Charlie called, letting Hubert walk out with them.  They walked past Colby and David.  "We're going to see Angel."

"Sure," Colby agreed.  "Strife?" he mouthed at Don.

He nodded.  "He showed up."

"Xander's his high priest.  His and Cupid's."

"That explains a lot," Don said dryly, walking Charlie out to the car.

Charlie looked at him once he was buckled up.  "Why?"

"Level ten GHS cause a lot of problems," he said, starting the car so they could back out. Hubert was cuddling up to the seatbelt in the back.  "Thanks, Hubert."  He put the car into forward as soon as he could and took off.  "All the kidnapings, all the lust, all the presents.  That one likes weapons.  Mischief and lust.  It makes sense."

"I guess it does."  He considered it.  That was a whole other area of math he had only dabbled in before.  He'd dabble in it again later after he figured out how to do the math for this bag.  If he could create his own, well, the Nobel was a cinch because the fold theory would have a lot of practical uses beyond neverending shopping bags.  They parked and he got out, walking inside, finding Willow sitting on the old check-in desk. "Willow?"  She smiled and nodded. "How do you do this?"

She looked at the marks around the neck of the bag.  "You know, I'm not sure what half of them are."  She hopped down and went to look up the spell with him.  She had to keep explaining how magic worked while she explained the spell.  How it was woven into the fabric and carved into the wood that made up the solid parts.  It was going to be dawn before they really got going, throwing ideas back and forth at each other.

Don looked at Fred, accepting the cookie from her.  "Hubert?"  He came out of the library and ran over to pounce Fred, licking her face.  "I think he likes you," he teased.

"Apparently."  She petted him, giving him cookies since he was laying on her chest again.  "Am I comfy?"

"He seems to think so.  Call me when they want to come home?"  She beamed and nodded.  "Thanks.  Xander's having fun with the boyfriends."  He walked off, heading to get dinner then go back to the hotel.  That prince was going to bother him until he could arrest him.

Ian stopped him.  "Xander just got a delivery."

"Of?"

"You don't want to know.  It's nearly pornographic and in white chocolate.  Not quite as bad as the one he got in Miami when he got sent a giant chocolate vagina and a white chocolate six foot toy to go with it...."  Don shook his head quickly at that.  "The guy has a picture of it in his wallet.  Still in the crate.  Someone standing beside it.  He said he walked off with a headache and let the others chop it up."

"For some reason I can hear my father's response about that sort of present."  Ian laughed at that.  "That Prince?"

"Could be."

"How bad is it?"

"Nearly pornographic. Not fully.  Underwear model minus everything but the underwear."

"Should I worry?"

"I had it checked for things and sent to Wolfe."

Don smirked.  "I'm sure he was happy."

"Where's the math voodoo god?"

"With Rosenburg explaining that bag."

"Ah.  So it'll be next week before we see him?"

"Possibly.  Hubert pounced Fred to snuggle on her chest and eat raisin cookies."  He walked off smiling.  "Anyone else here yet?"

"Fornell's here.  He's waiting."

"Me?"

"The kid."

"It'll be a while."

"Of course it will."  He went to tell him Don was back.  He could run interference.  That's why he didn't have a desk job.  "Fornell, Epps is back."

"Where was he?"

"Dropping off his brother to learn something new with Rosenburg."

He groaned, taking another antacid.  "Fine.  We need to see someone from Harris' family.  DiNozzo and Sanders are having to come early."

"Threat?"

"Someone broke into their house to paint them with pretty ownership symbols.  Gibbs is ready to bite."

"He coming too?"

"Yup.  Won't let them out alone."

"Abby or whoever Garcia is?"

"Spenser Reed is bringing out Hotchner to indoctrinate him and they're bringing Garcia, their computer tech, too.  Why?"

"Hubert apparently missed them enough for his daddy to get him into Quantico from the rumors I heard," Ian said.

Fornell gave him a look.  "Tell me you're joking."

"Nope."  He walked off.  "They're having fun.  I'll try to get one of them that's not Ray Junior."  He had spotted him.  "There's news about DiNozzo and Sanders' safety.  Fornell wants an adult."

"Uncle H is asleep.  Ryan's nibbling the chocolate, filled underwear statue.  Eric's got the busty twins with good plastic surgery."  He called Adam's room.  "Are you up?  Fornell wants to talk to an adult about Tony and Greggy."  He smiled.  "Down in the lobby getting dinner.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Tell him to find Adam."

"I can do that."

"I heard.  Which room?"

"Suite 1412."

"Thanks, kid.  Grow up like you're uncle."

He grinned. "I'm only Xander's assistant."  Fornell shuddered.  "I keep him from being so bored."

"Try harder," Ian joked.  "Who sent that?"

"Um, the prince probably.  Is he the same guy Xander played poker with in DC so he wouldn't get snatched?"  Ian nodded.  "Charming.  I like repeat offenders."  He walked off.  "Going to get dinner."

"Be safe."

Colby walked over.  "DiNozzo?  On Gibbs' team?"

"Yup."

"He's a tit hound."

"There's gay and straight members," Ian said, patting him on the shoulder.  "If they hit on you, just politely say taken."  He walked off to watch the front of the hotel.  Someone like the prince didn't have subtly.  He'd try a frontal snatch attempt when he showed up.  He saw the van full of 'cleaning people' pull up and called David.  "It's Edgerton.  Cleaning crew arrived in a van with a stick on label."  He watched them walk past him, hats down.  "Seven and a driver. One's got a bag.  Heading for the elevator on the left."  He smiled at his 'got it'.  He and Colby headed up with them.  He heard the call out for backup and an arrest wagon, going to get the guy in the van.  "Hi, FBI."  The man reached for the keys.  He pulled his gun.  "Try it."  He slumped.  "Out.  Now."  He climbed out and Ian handcuffed him, patting him down.  "Nice syringe.  Should I worry about dirty blood?"

"It is our prince's semen so his new pet will get used to him.  Not dirty!"

Xander strolled out and turned the guy around, staring at him.  "I get plenty of semen already.  Thanks anyway.  When you call him for bail money tell him if I see him again he'd better be ready to commit suicide.  Do I need to repeat this?"  He shook his head quickly, looking down.  "Are you sure?"

"Yes, pet."  Xander punched him in the jaw, making him whimper.  "I'm sorry I displeased you, pet."

"I have a fucking name and I am no one's pet," he said coldly.  "Never will be.  Never have been.  The last one who thought that I gutted.  I can do it again."  He shivered but nodded.  "Tell your master that."  He walked off, heading back inside.  "I really should have shoes on, I know," he told the person giving him dirty looks. "Unfortunately someone just broke in to try to kidnap me.  I wanted to have a word with one of them."  He ran into Fornell.  "What happened?"

"Someone broke in to paint DiNozzo and Sanders with red oil containing drugs.  Marked them with ownership markings."

Xander snorted.  "Yeah.  Like that'll work."  He walked off shaking his head.  "I'll deal with it if they show up here.  The same as I will that prince's people.  Have a better night, Fornell."

"You too, Mr. Harris."  He waved after him, smiling some.  "Gibbs is coming.  So are your dragon's friends."

"Cool.  Hubert will be over the moon!  Did you hear that he thinks Gibbs is another form of dragon?"  Fornell snickered, nearly bent double when he looked back as he got onto the elevator.  He went back up to his suite, looking at the men on the floor.  "Does this mean I can make them commit suicide now?" he asked Don and Colby, who shook their heads.  "Please?  I like it when they beg me to stop."

"No," Don said.  "How would you?"

Xander grinned.  "Jedi mind tricks."

"No jedi would use those sort, that means they're Sith mind tricks," Colby shot back with a small smirk.

"Well, yeah, but they start out jedi then turn."  He shrugged and looked at one, staring him down, letting his hormones spike just a bit.  "Where is he?"  He babbled something in Arabic. "No, your god isn't going to help you.  Where is he?  If you tell me I'll let you meet him peacefully.  He might even reward you."  He squatted down, stroking down his cheek, increasing his output, staring him in the eyes. "Where is he?" he asked, his voice quieter, dropping a bit in tone, becoming a bit deeper sounding.  "If you tell me, we can talk about his desire.  Not that I want to be a pet and he has to prove himself worthy."  He stroked a thumb across his chin.  "I won't be able to tell him that if you don't tell me where he is."

He swallowed.  "He is at the Calabria, pet."

"I have a name.  I'm no one's pet."  The man shook his head, looking down.  "Good boy."  He stood up and concentrated, bringing it back down.  He looked at Don.  "Is that on the east end?"

"North," one of the guards said helpfully.  "Will you go talk to him?"

"Sure, I can do that."  He went to change, coming out in leather pants, a tight t-shirt, and boots,  plus a sword.  He grabbed Don's jacket.  "Don, going to talk to the prince, dear.  Taking your jacket."

"I'm wearing it," he complained, coming out to help him go talk to him.  "Where are we going?"

"The Calabria.  It's on the north end.  Your rental has On Star.  They'll give us directions."  He walked out once Don had his jacket back.  Plus his sword.

"Swords?" Colby asked.

"Yes, they all use them very well.  Chase them."  He chased after him, trying to stop them.  He'd end up following them across the city.  He'd get there in time to see Xander making the prince beg for mercy.  "Xander!"

"Aw, let 'im," Don ordered, sneering at him.  "You still want what's mine? Gotta say, not impressed with the man you are.  Xander can't make *me* beg more'n outside of bed.  Looks like you're damn pitiful."  He kissed Xander.  "Think the Feds can have 'im yet, Xander?"

Xander stared, then looked at him.  "He deserves to know what sort of life he'd live."

"Yeah, but he'll be a bitch in prison.  Same thing."

"Not castrated."

"You'd be surprised," Colby told him.  "We can do that, guys.  Really."  Someone came running and he looked.  "Um...."

"You don't want to know," Ryan said.  He walked in and stood in front of Xander.  "Isn't this my job?"

"I can save myself now and then."  He leaned over to sniff then looked at him.  "Hmm.  New aftershave?" he asked with a smirk.  He loved Ares.  He sent a prayer to him, watching his eyes darken.  "I can have him.  He's been mean to me.  He sent men to kidnap me."

"Let him go to the Feds, Xander.  There'll be others this weekend and if you're doing paperwork you can't save them."

"Again?" Don demanded.

"Yup.  By the way, Agent Colby Granger, no I'm not Wolfe.  Wolfe's presently sedated from the chocolate statue of filled underwear."  He appeared as himself.

"All hail Ares," Don said with a smirk.  "Can I have 'im?"

"No.  Tony's new pet project is going to show up."  Xander pouted.  "You can have that one.  He's much higher and he's taken others.  He's even scared of you.  He's one of you."   Xander shivered at that.  "By the way, nice work with the invasion."  He bopped him on the head.  "Let them have them."

"Yes, Ares," he said, bowing his head.  Then he kicked the guy in the jaw.  "No *real* man would do more than drool on his boots.  If you're not, you clearly don't appreciate the male form well enough for me."  He walked out, Don following with a nod for him.  He leaned in again.  "What do you want me to do with the new shiny thing?"

Ares shrugged. "Donate it.  You know where I'd go."  Xander nodded, leaving again.  He looked at him.  "Get it out now."

"Um...."   He let out a subvocal whimper.  Every soldier knew their overlord instinctively.  "Yeah."

Ares smirked.  "Have him.  I want to watch him learn what he wanted to do to others."  He faded out, going home.  The upcoming problems would need them both able to do things beyond paperwork. Especially when someone decided to take the little nerdly one for being at the convention and the cuddle pile.

***

Xander pouted all the way back into the hotel.  "Ares said I couldn't turn him into a girl like he wanted to do to me," he told Horatio.  "That Tony's problems were going to be worse."

"It'll be fine," he promised, patting him on the back.  "I'm sure he'll learn the error of his ways in prison."  He walked him back up to his room.  He looked behind him.  "Xander, you're broadcasting."

Xander looked then gave the drooling people a sheepish look. "Sorry."  He tried to put it back down.  "I guess Ares made me hot."

"I can cure that," Don said dryly, taking him up to their suite to fix that for him.  Danny and Ray Junior gave them an amused look.  "Ares appeared."

"Enough reason for even straight boys to drool," Ray quipped.  "Have fun.  Be noisy."

Don smirked.  "I plan on it."  He closed them in and got back to making Xander insane and mindless for him.

Ray looked at Danny.  "Snack?"

"Snack," he agreed, heading down with him.  The manager was complaining to Horatio.  "Of course he had a sword.  It's how he stays in such good shape.  The storytelling dances he knows come with sword work built in.  He practices nearly every day.  It helps his self defense."  He walked past him, leaving him gaping.  "It saves a lot of work saving him."

"Do not teach my nephew how to be impolite, Daniel," Horatio warned.

Danny nudged him.  "Don't grow up to be a New Yorker."

Ray snickered.  "No I think I'm going to grow up to be a Miamian."  He grinned at his uncle.  "Chill, Uncle H.  I'm a lot like Uncle Speed."

"You're surly and wear ugly t-shirts?" Danny asked, holding open the door of the restaurant.  "Did you bring cash?"

"I've been charging it back to my room and I'll take it out of my shopping allowance."

"That'll work."  He let the door close behind him.

The manager looked at him.  "Are you all going to be that way?"

"That mouthy?  No.  I'll be dealing with my nephew's mouth later on," he assured him.  "Has he been rude to anyone but me?"

"No.  He's been very polite."  He heard a squeal and ducked, looking around.  A woman came running over to pounce Horatio.

He smiled at her.  "Rachel.  How are you, dear?"  She kissed him on the cheek and babbled at him, trying to lead him off.  "Give me a minute to finish talking to the manager.  He's worried because someone came for Xander earlier."

"Of course they did!  They always come for Xander!  That's why he has the sword," she told the manager. "Plus the nice boyfriends.  Can I have Horatio?"  He nodded. "Thank you.  You have a good night."  She led him off, talking to him about her upcoming wedding.  "Do you think gauzy chiffon is over the top?"

"That depends on your guest list," he reminded her.  She beamed back.  "If I had one, I certainly couldn't wear that.  Yelina might mind," he said, starting to frown over her head. "Hmm."

She looked.  "Who're you and why are you making Horatio frown?" Rachel demanded.

"I'm his sister-in-law."

"Oh!  You must be RJ's mommy.  RJ's such a cutie," she cooed.  "I hope my future kids grow up as nice, smart, and polite as he is."  She looked at Horatio.  "Want her?"  He nodded.  "Can I get your opinion later?"

"Of course.  Tim and I are both here."

"Tim's *grumpy*!" she complained, rolling her eyes.  "Maybe I'll ask Adam.  He's got nice taste.  After all, he got his cutie, blond boy."  She bounced off to finish checking in. "I'll see you tomorrow.  I must have jetlag."

"Sure, Rachel," he said, smiling at her.  "Have a good rest."  She nodded and bounced off to her room.  He looked at Yelina.  "Are you guarding someone at the convention?"

"I was in Miami but Frank said that my son was here."

"He is.  It's his first convention.  He's getting a snack at the moment with Danny."  He led her that way, finding them eating pizza slices.  "Ray?"  He looked up and stared at his mother.  "Frank told her you were here."

"Cool with me.  She can be my protection patrol so I don't have even a thought about stepping out on my girlfriend."  He ate another bite.

Danny looked.  "Want some, Yelina?"

"No, thank you.  I would like to speak to my son."

"Then pull up a chair, Mom.  He'd hear eventually when I told Xander."  He kicked out one.  "Sit, please.  You too, Uncle H since I'm sure it'll be family news."  He ate another bite.  Then he looked at Danny once he had swallowed. "Xander?"

"It's gonna be a while.  He was appreciating Don's leather pants when we left," he reminded him.

"Oh, yeah.  I need my girlfriend," he sighed.  He finished his pizza.  "What's up, Mom?" he asked once he had swallowed.

"Your father and I want you to come home."

"No."  He looked at her.  "That's not home.  That's Brazil.  That's Grandma's home.  Not my home.  I wasn't comfortable down there. All I ever had were violent urges against Dad.  No."  He looked at his uncle.  "That good with you?"

"That's fine with me, Ray.  Your conduct has been exemplary for the most part.  Even if I did not like your first girlfriend."

"You're letting him date?" she demanded.

"I'm nearly seventeen, Mom.  Get over it!" he told her.  Horatio scowled.  "I'm sorry, this was a big problem we had down in Brazil."  He looked at her.  "Half the kids you wanted me to hang out with were married by my present age thanks to knocking up their girls.  Right now I'm carrying a 3.7 GPA, helping Xander do things around the house, and helping Uncles H and Speed with stuff.  No.  I'm not going to Brazil.  Not even to visit.  I don't want to see the biological donor.  If I do, I might have to prove that Xander's been working on my self-defense."

"Why?" Danny asked.  Yelina glared at him.  "Maybe if you heard his reasons they might make sense."

"Okay, here's a good one."  He looked at his mother.  "Is he clean again?"  Horatio moaned.  "I refuse to be in the same house as a drug addict," he said quietly.  "I will beat his ass.  I don't care, Mom.  You can move home.  You can write more often since you basically quit writing to me last year.  You didn't even send me a card for my birthday."

"I was trying to help your father."

He nodded.  "Which is why Miami's a better place for me."

"Playing with Xander's friends?" she demanded cooly.

"I went a few times in his place.  He was listening to me play and guiding me.  I made a few good contacts down that way.  I definitely cemented any ideas against going that way.  Which was about half his intention.  I started to drift there for a bit when Uncle H had a bad run of cases.  Xander stepped in and let me see what fifty-year-old gang kids look like.  It was a lesson I learned very well.  He kept me safe while I made that decision and a few others."

"I still do not like it."

"Neither did I.  Which was why I put a stop to it," Horatio assured her.  "Just as soon as I heard."

"He put a stop even to fun games," Ray agreed.  "It's a way to pass the time, Mom.  The same as now Xander's teaching me some of the basics of construction work.  He's been doing a lot of it around the house."

Danny finished his pizza.  "Yelina, what do you think is a bad thing in Miami?"

"All of it!  He's dating!  He hangs out with Xander!  I'm sorry but that can't be a good influence.  The boy is much older and much more worldly."

"Mom, not like I haven't had sex," Ray said dryly.  She glared at him.  "Before I came up here, Mother.  One of those nice kids you wanted me to hang out with let his sister jump me and tie me down to have me."  He stood up.  "If I have to file for emancipation, I will. I'm not going back to Brazil.  You can visit.  It'd be nice if you did.  I'm not going back.  I'm not going to be repressed and told I'm evil because of the way I am.  I'm me, even if you don't like it, Mother.  Yes, I have my third ever girlfriend.  She's very nice.  She goes to Uncle H's church.  He's met her, Uncle Speed's met her.  They like her.  She thinks I'm adorable.  She makes me study with her because she's worried about her grades.  She's got good plans for the future and so do I.  I can't transfer my high school credits down there to go to college.  Which I am going to do in two years.  The job base sucks unless you're in drugs.  Which I'll never do.  You've decided I'm horrible because I'm growing up.  We all do that.  I wish you'd see the real me, Mom."  He walked off, heading for his room.  "Danny?"

"I got it," he called.  The waitress came over and he signed the slip, getting a smile for the tip he slipped her.  "Thanks."  She nodded.  He looked at them.  "Want to take this up to a room, somewhere private?"

"We should," Horatio agreed.  "Speed and I have ours.  Ray's next door to us.  We can talk as a family."  He looked at Danny.  "Check on Ryan?"

"Of course."  He watched them go, sighing a bit.  "The kid don't need this," he muttered, going to check on Ryan.  He knocked until Eric answered the door.  "He good?"

"Headache.  What happened?"

"The prince Xander played with in DC to keep himself from being snatched showed up.  Sent us drugged chocolate.  Ryan got that.  They came for Xander, thinking he was knocked out, and the FBI got them."

"Oh, wonderful.  Everyone good?"

"All but Ray Junior at the moment.  Yelina's here."

Eric sighed.  "That's going to be a loud fight."

Danny nodded. "Probably."  He walked off.  "Let us know if he needs help."

"He'll be fine.  The headache will wear off soon."  He closed the door, going to talk to Ryan.  "That same prince?"

"Yeah.  Xander told me the FBI had him now so it's all right."

"Good.  That's a positive.  They catch them before they broke in?"

"Caught them coming in so they waited and caught them as they broke in."

"Even better.  More charges."  He smirked. "You gonna live?"

"If the headache quits."  He flipped onto his side. "Did he just say Yelina was back?"  Eric nodded.  "Damn it.  Ray doesn't need this."

"We'll handle it as a family, Ryan.  Like always."  He tucked him in and went to sit on the couch to watch tv for a while.  Ryan felt nasty and wouldn't want to cuddle.

"You shower them off yet?"

"Yes," he said patiently.  Not like he usually minded.

***

Ray knocked until Speed opened the door.  "Mom's back and wants me in Brazil."

"Like hell," he muttered, pulling him inside to cuddle him.  "Over her dead ass."  He got a smile for that.  "Any other good news?"

"Not yet.  Xander was appreciating Don's leather clad ass so Danny and I were having a snack when she showed up."  He snuggled in better, getting a squeeze.  "They'll be here soon.  He's still using.  That's the excuse she gave for missing my birthday."

"You're nearly seventeen, Ray.  Any judge would ask you."  He got up to let them in when he heard Yelina complaining.  "Hey.  Welcome back to the states."  He closed the door behind them, nodding at Ray to shift out of his seat.  He sat down and Ray shifted back again.  "Sure, you can have a hug.  When's your history test?"

"Monday afternoon," he groaned.  "The teacher said I could take it Tuesday after school if we didn't make it back in time."

"Why wouldn't you?" Yelina asked.

"Because we're flying out Monday morning.  With the way airlines have been delayed recently it's possible.  That's why I had a word with her."  He looked at him.  "I've been studying while you guys had some fun."

"Good.  You've been doing good this semester.  I'm proud."

"As am I," Horatio agreed.  "Especially since you had three days off due to the bomb threat at your school."  She stared.  "One child wanted to put off her exam.  She called in false threats three days in a row. Much like the ones down in Rio last month."

"That wasn't his school."

Ray shrugged.  "And?"  He looked at his uncles.  "Do we have a problem with me staying?"

"No," Speed said.  "Since Xander's firmed up your opinions on being a thug it's been good."  He shrugged.  "You help a lot around the house, kiddo."  He heard the rattle. "Speaking of I think they want you to spoil them.  Horatio couldn't get them calmed down earlier."  He went to play with the young ferret, making her happy.  He looked at Yelina.  "He's doing phenomenal, Yelina.  He's happy, he's safe, he's secure.  He's got good plans for the future and narrowed down his college majors to two or three.  Except for about seven card games he's been doing wonderfully."

"Seven?"

"We heard and put a stop to it then," Horatio told her.  "We did hear that all but one of them Xander had an earwhig on him so he could play with him.  That one Ray was chaperoning a friend on a first date with a college freshman and her date's fraternity invited him into a game when she took off in his car."

"His car?"

"Yes, his car," Ray called.  "I'm slowly paying Xander back for my car.  It's a modest little efficiency car I might add.  I get forty miles per gallon."  He looked at his mother. "It's too small to make out in.  It gets me to class.  I pay for my own insurance."

"With?"

"Xander pays me to help him around the office now and then.  I make about two hundred a month.  Enough for my gas, insurance, and some spending money when I forget to get my allowance from Uncle H."

"We paid for his first year's," Speed told her.  "It was his birthday present once we found out Xander had gotten him the small car.  It's a Tempo?"

"Escort," Ray said.  He looked at the ferrets.  "I'd let you loose but you try to run all over the hotel.  Then the people get upset."

"We need a bigger traveling cage," Speed told him.

"That could help," Ray agreed.  "Then again, we forgot the toys."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Let me go borrow some from the other spoiled ferrets.  Be right back."  He walked up there, knocking.  Danny let him in.  "Can Uncle H's ferrets borrow some toys?  They're bored."

"Sure."  He got them a few of the ones they had still in the bag.  "Here ya go.  Pan of beans, some packing peanuts, and a dryer tube."

"They'll love that.  Thanks."  He hugged him.  "Can I spank her?"

"No.  Not really."  He patted him on the back.  "It'll be okay.  No judge would make you go back to somewhere there's drugs in the house."  He nodded, heading back down there.  Danny closed the door.  "If Horatio lets out that fact since he supposedly died," he muttered.

Ray was let back in.  "They still had these packed."  He put them down and let the ferrets out into the fenced in area, watching them dive and play.  He smiled.  "That's a good set of ferrets."

Horatio smiled.  "Those are some of their favorite sort of toys at home too."  He reached over to pat him on the head.  "Are you all right?"

"No.  I'm rather upset."  He looked at him.  "I don't want to be.  This was supposed to be a happy trip."

"It still is," Speed assured him.  "Remember, convention starts on Friday.  You'll have a  lot of fun.  Steve's running the money management lecture so you can ask him about your college fund of CD's.   See if he can make it grow bigger for you."

"That could be nice."  He put one ferret into the dryer tube, watching her run through it and nip one of the others when she ran into her.  "No biting each other.  Then you have to be cranky."  He got nipped too so he put her back into the cage.  "No biting."  She wiggled out and went back to playing, but she was better behaved.  "Maybe I should become a vet with all the animals in the family."

"You could but you'd have to pull up your science grade," Speed told him.  "That's like med school."

"I know.  That's my third option."

"Are you and your girlfriend sexually active?" his mother asked.

He looked at her.  "I don't think I should have to answer that since you didn't send me a birthday card.  For one of the important birthdays, Mom.  Not like it takes that much time.  You could've even sent it late.  I would've thought it was the international mail backlog."  He went back to playing with them.

"It's not healthy for you."

He snorted, looking at her.  "And the drug whores down in Brazil were?"  She gasped. "Yeah, Mom, as stated earlier, I got jumped down there by Ricardo's sister.  Who tied my ass up.  Not exactly how I wanted that to go.  Fortunately my new one likes to cuddle and watch movies with me."  He went back to playing with the ferrets.  Horatio was giving him one of those looks, he knew he was.  Ray looked back.  "I'm sorry if my temper is getting out of hand."

"I think it has a reasonable excuse at this moment," he said, nodding him to come back over.  "Yelina, what do you think you can give him that he's not getting in Miami?"

"He'll be safe!"

"From?" Ray asked.  "Since Dad's doing drugs from a Mala Noche and they busted all of them again in Miami."  She glared.  "You know what?  If you try to force this I'm going to file for emancipation.  If I have to I can get an after school job to prove I'm able to take care of myself.  That's not a problem.  I will not live in a house where someone is doing drugs.  Ever.  I went through emotional hell the last time, Mom.  So did you.  You might be able to love him in spite of it.  I can't.  As far as I'm concerned, you're shacking up with a ghost."  His uncle gave him a warning squeeze.  "You could come back to Miami if you're that concerned about me.  Then he could ruin his life and not everyone else's.  That way you don't have to see it when they kill him."

"How do you know they will?" Speed asked.

"I asked one of the poker buddies after a game.  I took out the bug for a bit and asked him if I could pose a hypothetical.  I told him everything except for who it was and where it was.  He agreed, they're using him right now to either cause Uncle H pain or because they think he's useable later on.  Probably to cause Uncle H pain.  He did say if I was down there they'd do everything they could to hook me too.  That way they had more of a hook for Uncle H."  He looked at Speed.  "I'm not going to let that happen.  There's no way someone's going to use me to blackmail Uncle H or you into ignoring evidence or doing something stupid.  He also said if they found out they couldn't use him, he'd be like every other junkie out there.  Expendable.  Easily expendable.  The people he's tied to are ruthless and they think of him like a bug.  Interesting, maybe useful in certain circumstances.  Otherwise to be squashed."  He looked at his Uncle.  "I'm not going to let that happen."

"I think that's a very mature decision but you could have come to us with those fears," he said calmly.

"I figured you already realized it."  Horatio nodded.  "I didn't need to add to the burden you already carry with the job.  Besides, at my age, I'm old enough to face some hard, universal truths.  The same as I realize Suzy wasn't in her right mind when she got pregnant.  Drugs do bad things to your mind.  I have hormones for that.  Why do I need drugs?"

Speed smirked.  "That's my line, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, just about."  He nodded.  "At least you warned me that even normal guys are taken over by their hormones around thirteen and never quite get full control back."

"No, they don't," Horatio agreed. She glared at him.  "That is true for all men, Yelina, not just GHS."

"He is not," she snarled, standing up.  "Come along, Raymond."

Ray shifted and pulled out his wallet, finding the card and holding it up.  "I tested out halfway between a level four and five," he said quietly, staring at her.  "I'm damn glad I'm not like the new level nine they found in New York.  I'm happy with who I am, Mom.   Maybe if you let him go to hell by himself you might appreciate the man I'm becoming.  Everyone else seems to."  She stomped off, almost crying.  He slumped, looking at his uncle.  "I feel miserable."

"The guilt is a natural reaction," Speed said.  "Your uncle feels it all the time."  Ray nodded, cuddling up to his side again.  "Shh.  You're staying.  No matter what you're staying, Ray.  If we have to help you file for emancipation we will.  If we have to come out to a judge we will.  It'll be fine."  He looked over when someone pounded on the door.  "Cops?"

"Probably," Horatio agreed, finding his badge on the way to answer the door.  "Yes, Officer?" he asked the officer standing there.

"Sir."  Horatio held up his badge.  "Detective?"

"Lieutenant.  Miami-Dade PD, with the crime lab."  He let them inside.  "Let me guess, my sister-in-law is mad that her son does not want to go live with her again?"

"She claimed you kidnaped him from Brazil, sir."

Ray snorted, looking at him.  "My father made me come up on the smuggler's route instead of the regular way.  I don't know why."  He stood up, smoothing out his clothes.  "I was not kidnaped.  I was fucking miserable in Brazil."  Horatio glared.  "Sorry for the language, you don't deserve that and my temper is high."

"I've heard worse, kid."  He looked at the clean cut, shaved, well-mannered, well-dressed young man and realized he could get an unbiased, slightly emotional, view without a screaming parents match.  "Give me the straight answer.  What happened?"

Ray looked at Horatio.  "I'm going to have to."

"As long as you don't mention a location."

Ray nodded.  "My father was undercover in Miami when he got hooked on Meth.  We thought he was dead.  When he showed back up he had to evacuate to Brazil.  I went with them and so did Mom."  The officer moaned.  Ray took a calming breath, like Xander had taught him.  "While down there, my father started to go back to meth.  I'll be *damned* if I live in a house with a drug addict ever again.  I don't need the emotional hell.  I certainly didn't need my mother deciding that since I'm GHS I shouldn't ever date.  She actually called a priest to try to talk me into the seminary."  The officer groaned.  "I said I wanted to come back up here.  It was safer for me since the supposed nice friends my mother wanted me to hang with were actually part of the same Mala Noche branch that was rehooking my father.  One of them's sister tied me down and had me.  My father managed to clear himself long enough to come save my ass.  He sent me back up to his brother, my uncle Horatio," he said with a point. "For some reason he had me use the smuggler's routes but I made it two days and a kidnaping later.  Since then I've been loved, taken care of; I have a 3.7 GPA.  I'm planning on college in two years.  I have a girlfriend.  A car.  Friends and family that would die for me.  One who nearly has twice.

"If she's complaining about poker games, that same friend used to play poker with the underground in Miami.  Since I used to have thug tendencies he taught me to play, sent me to a few games in his stead with a listening device on so he could coach me.  I got a very strong, pretty safe lesson in how bad that life is and how pathetic some of them are.  Some of them aren't but some of them are.  I'm sorry if my mother's not happy that I'm turning into a man in front of her but she basically lost contact with me before my birthday last year.  She didn't send me a card.  It went from every week getting letters and emails to months apart.  The last time I heard from her was three months before my sixteenth birthday."  He pulled out his license to show him.  "That's nearly a year ago now."  He put it back and looked at him again. "If she's complaining about me being here?  Yes, I am GHS.  It's a hormone condition.  It's medically caused, been found, been tested, all of that.  This is a support network.  They're like extended family that understands these things.  This is my first convention and she knew I was going to be a member before we left.  The week before we left if I remember right.  They did the blood test then because I was showing early signs."

"She claims this is like a swinger's convention?"

"No.  GHS are often sluts but it's our pheromones that do it to us," Speed told him, standing up and coming over with something.  "That's the website.  That's how police log in.  There's a FAQ for police officers now.  Or read the regular page.  Some of the higher levels are natural born concubines.  Ray's a level four, maybe a five when he surges.  That means all he needs is a creative girlfriend.  He has one of those.  This convention is to connect, relax, talk about the problems, learn new things, do some shopping.  Meet with friends.  The same as cop conventions are.  Only this is a medical condition.  If he really wanted sex during it, yeah he could pick up someone.  That would be cheating and he knows we'll thump his ass if we find him cheating on his girlfriend."

"Good men don't do that," Ray agreed.  "I'm growing into a very good man."

The officer looked at him.  "It sounds like it.  Who has official custody?"

"Technically she never signed over custody but she did sent paperwork so we could treat him if something happened," Horatio said, digging that out.  He always carried it, just in case.  "That's what she sent with him."

He looked it over.  "Everything but custody."  Horatio nodded.  "So why come now?"

"Apparently the meth whore wants to see me," Ray said, weathering the slap his uncle gave to the back of his head.  "Sorry."

"Meth's a hard drug to watch go through someone," the officer said, looking at him.  "He's still a parent."

"As far as I know he died when I was eleven.  The zombie who came back a few years ago wasn't him.  My father died."

The officer nodded.  "I know this is hard."

"I told her this.  She nearly threw a fit that I'm dating."

"You should be dating at your age."

"That's what I thought," Ray agreed dryly.  He shrugged.  "I don't know what's wrong with her.  Right now I'm tired and I'm not sure I really care.  I might care in the morning, when I've got more emotional distance.  Right now I need a heavy bag."

"There's one in the gym," Speed said quietly.  "We can do that."  He looked at the officer.  "We didn't kidnap him."

"No, it's clear you didn't."  He handed back the paperwork.  "Let me talk to her."

"We'll be in the gym," Speed said.  That got a nod.  "C'mon, Ray.  Let's blow it off before you get more pissed."

"Please."  He gave his uncle a hug.  "You can come help," he said, giving him a look.

He smiled, smoothing out some of his hair.  "I'll lose my stress by yelling at her."  Ray nodded, heading down there.  "Let's talk to my sister-in-law," he said, grabbing keys and heading out with him.   He found her pacing outside.  "Since you basically stuck him on a plane, that means we didn't kidnap him, Yelina.  You were an officer, you know that."

"She was?" the officer asked.

"With homicide.  She was a detective second grade."  He stared at her for a minute. "You have now hurt your son enough that he is all but crying.  Are you proud?"

"I..."

"Are.  You.  Proud?" he asked.

She glared at him. "He's my son."

"Then you should've remembered his birthday.  You should've kept in better contact with him.  Your actions don't speak to your words, Yelina."  He shifted slightly to the side, studying her.  "Let me guess, Ray's going so far downhill that you need someone to latch onto?  Someone to be there, for you to love?"  She hit at him.  He ducked.  "Do it again.  Watch me charge you."  She shrieked and went after him again.

Xander walked out and grabbed her around the waist, hauling her off him.  He laid into her in Portugese, making her back off while he yelled at her, poking her on the chest, until she ran off crying.  "And leave Ray alone!  You didn't give enough of a damn to even put him on a real plane!"  He huffed, looking at Horatio.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm all right, Xander.  Thank you.  You didn't have to."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Yes I did.  She made you and Ray cry.  She can stay down in Brazil."  He walked off shaking his head.  Don gave him a worried look.  "Yelina's back."

"Why?"

"I don't know."  He looked around.  He looked at the desk clerk.  "Ray?"  She pointed toward the gym.  "Thanks."  He headed that way, stopping him beating on the heavy bag to hug him.  "Shh.  She's not taking you.  Even if I have to hide you she's not taking you."  He swallowed, nodding and clinging to him.  "We love you.  We want you.  You're safe and loved.  You're like my little brother.  Who else would I go on ice cream binges with?"  Ray broke, starting to cry.  "Shhh, Ray."  He got them sitting down, holding him.  "Shh, it's all right.  I've got you.  You're safe.  Your uncles are right here."  Speed pulled him up to hug him.  Letting Ray cry on him.  Don helped Xander up, letting Horatio get in there to hug him on the other side.  Xander got a hug from Don.  "If I have to help him, I will," he told Horatio.  "If he needs to prove emancipation with a job, I can make one up if I have to."  They nodded at that.  Don led him off.  He put his head on his shoulder.  "Mine are worse. Mine want money."

"Has Gunn said anything?"

"Not yet.  He's filed a protest since I never heard about the action or had legal council there to start for my side.  What they did was illegal.  I'm hoping the higher judge laughs it out of court.  I also gave him the case number with CPS.  That way he can prove it if he has to."  He looked at him.  "Am I bad?"

"No, you're not bad.  They're selfish.  They didn't write for years, didn't go looking for you except that fake run-away warrant with the wrong age on it when they were looking for money right after you left.  When your mother tried to give a damn she started a cult and kidnaped you to torture you.  Then suddenly they come back lookin' for money.  It's not your fault, Xander."  Xander nodded, calming himself down.  "You know, I saw Ray do that earlier?"

He grinned.  "I taught him how to meditate to control his temper."

"I'm proud.  You do it very well."  He led him to get some ice cream and then back up to their floor.  Horatio and Speed were walking Ray up.  "Want him to take our spare room, just in case she tries again?"

"She won't," Horatio said, smiling at him.  "It'll be fine."  He went to tuck Ray into bed, kissing him on the head.  "Try not to have nightmares, Ray.  If you do, come crawl in."  He nodded, curling up on his side.  "We love you.  Remember that."  He stroked over his hair then left, closing the door behind him.  He looked at the agents watching.  "His mother."

"I got there in time to see Xander lay into her."

"I probably said some things I shouldn't but I lost my temper," Xander admitted, eating some of his ice cream. He held some up.  "Want some, Horatio?"  He took the bite with a smile and led Speed back to their room.  "She hopefully won't try anything else tonight. It's late.  She's already tried an officer to say they kidnaped him when she and her spouse put him on the plane."  He shrugged.  "We'll handle it.  He'll be shielded."  That got a nod.  "Thanks, guys.  No more prince?"

"No, he's in federal detention for conspiracy to commit kidnaping and attempted kidnaping."  That got a smile and a nod, then they went to their rooms.  He checked the hall then went to make note of it.  Just in case.   He caught Adam staring at the outside "Ray's fine."

"He will heal.  All hearts do," he told him, looking at him.  "Until then we can only weather the emotional storm."

"Xander made her run off crying after screaming at her and poking her on the chest."

Adam grinned.  "He does have that ability.  He's done it to a number of people who tried to take him as well."  He looked at him.  "You should rest.  The convention starts on Friday; we'll start showing up tomorrow."

"That's why we're taking shifts."

"Good."  He walked off, leaving it in his hands.  He hadn't taken her as vengeful but one never knew when it came to mothers.

***

Xander bounced into the opening ceremony, smiling at them.  "Hi, guys.  Adam's behind me."   Someone tugged on his arm so he looked then followed him out.  "What's up, Gunn?  News?"

"Some news.  They threw out the old verdict.  They sent it back to be reheard."  Xander groaned.  "Do we have a good reason why you shouldn't?"

"They're drunks.  The CPS files.  They didn't look for me when I left?"  He shrugged.  "They don't care.  They want money.  Tell my mother I'm gay, watch her sickened look."

"I know you used to work.  When did that start?"

"When I was fifteen and I had to start paying them rent."  Gunn nodded, making note of that.  "Yes, CPS knew.  I turned them in for the extra money.  Then I turned them in for the bruises the cut in their foodtamps got me."

"Your CPS file is sealed."

Xander smirked.  "If I ask, they have to, right?"  He nodded.  "Get me the forms."

"Already have 'em."  He let him see them then sign them.  "Any other evidence we have?"

"Ask Willow.  If she's being honest again she'll tell the truth."

Gunn nodded.  "How long were you in New York before you heard from them?"

"I haven't heard from them since the day I moved out with the exception of the cult and kidnaping to torture me thing over a year ago."

Gunn smirked. "That'll work too.  Saw them?"

"Once in the grocery store.  She turned her nose up and walked the other way.  I saw Uncle Rory the day we got here on the interstate around the city.  He was driving.  Isn't he still on a suspended licence for DUI?"

"Probably."  He wrote that down as well.  "Any presents, cards, that stuff?"

"Not since I was younger, preteen."

"Any chance of you having kids?"

"What I am means I'm infertile."

"The sword stuff?" he asked quietly, glancing around.  Xander nodded.  "Okay."  He wrote that down too.  "Will?"

"Boyfriends, made family.  Pets."

"Okay."  He finished taking notes.  "We hear it in six days.  They're not that busy in Sunnydale and they filed immediately when they got the turn down."

"Sure.  Need me to fly back?"

"Please.  That's Thursday.  It's at eleven."

"I can be there."  He nodded at that, giving him a  punch on the arm before heading off.  He turned to find Ray K looking at him.  "My parents tried to file to have me support their drunk asses."

"Pay 'em off?"

"Hasn't been suggested yet."  He walked in with him, sitting down in the back so Adam could go on with his speech.  This year's was about the trials of being a GHS and how we overcame a lot to be ourselves.  Most people were smiling.  They clapped and they went to the nibble/wander and greet old friends event.  He found Greg and hugged him.

"Get off," the agent watching them growled.

"Oh, fuck yourself, man.  Greg's my friend.  I can hug him if I want.  Get the dildo out of the ass sideways," he said when the agent glared at him.  The guy advanced on him so he knocked him out and drug him outside the hotel, leaving him there.  "Members only this weekend.  Sorry!"  He walked back inside, smiling at Tony, who was snickering.  "We can protect you too."

"Gibbs didn't want to send him but he had court this morning."

"Pity his headache later."  He hugged Tony too.  "Are you all right now?"

"I'm fine.  It was an idiot.  Gibbs nearly bit him in half.  We're making sure there's no more of them."

"We had that prince from last year."  He shrugged and walked him over to get him more to nibble on, that way he could share with Greg.  "Did you see?  We brought Ray Junior."

"I did."  Tony smiled at Ray Junior.  "Not being fussed over?"

"He's fussing over you instead so Danny doesn't spot him and spank him."

"I've been a good boy," Xander told him, looking innocent.

"Uh-huh," Ray said dryly.  "The crystal spider on his pillow when he woke up?"

"There was?"

"Yeah."

"Don't like spiders, Ray."

"Oh.  Huh. Any idea?"

"No but I'll stay up late tonight," he said with a small shrug, getting him a plate of food too.  "There, fussing.  Alexx would be proud and so would Speed."

"Yes they would," Speed said as he came over.  "Even fruit, I'm impressed, Xander."  The boy beamed and bounced off to talk to someone else.  "He's not happy this convention."

"Well, he's been in tough-guy mode the whole time we've been here," Ray reminded him.

"We can fix that too."  He went to capture Xander and sit him with Don.  "Camping kit?"

"Got it in my bag," he admitted.  He walked Xander upstairs and made him relax with a eye mask, a cd player with headphones, and a long cuddle until he finally fell asleep.

***

Gibbs stomped up to Tony.  "Xander took him out," Tony told him.

"Knew he was a wimp."  He looked around.  "Where is he?"

"Sleeping, still.  He's been on the tough guy track the whole trip.  Plus his parents are trying to sue him to upkeep them."

Gibbs chuckled.  "There's no judge that dumb in the country."

"The first judge let them get away with hiring a public defender to take his council's place since he hadn't been told.  I'm told the higher judge looked at the transcripts and laughed."  He sipped his punch.  "Greg's across the room."

"I saw.  You good?"

"So far.  Someone tried to kidnap Xander; the prince from last year."  That got a moan.  "He's in federal custody.  Epps is running security.  Ray Junior had a small problem when his mother showed up.  Someone snuck a crystal spider in next to Danny's head this morning.  Hubert corralled all his women and Don's brother Charlie into one area so he could have all his harem."  That got a snicker from Gibbs.  "He likes Charlie's hair."

"He's getting closer to going home," Ryan said as he joined them.  "We're watching out for Greg and Tony too, Gibbs."

"Thank you.  Any other problems?"

"No.  Just those so far.  Epps did the same thing you did, GPS bracelet and a bug."

"That's a good idea," Gibbs decided.

"We let Ray go with him," Ryan said with a smirk.  "We hear it later."

"How's he doing?" Tony asked.  "I heard."

"He's okay at the moment.  Still bummed that she showed back up."

Gibbs gave him a 'why don't I know about this' look.  Tony shifted slightly closer.  "His mom showed up Thursday night."  Gibbs moaned, shaking his head.  "She wants him back in Brazil."

"Xander said he can't and Ray doesn't want to," Ryan told him.  "So we're in a deadlock.  She's already tried to say they kidnaped him."  He pointed.  "Matter of fact, she's hiding in the corner."

"We're all ignoring her," Greg assured him.   "Like the rest of the family is."  He grinned at Gibbs.  "They've got a new toy in the shopping area and they wanted at least one of the agents to test it since it's a self-defense weapon."

"Lead on."  He led him that way, letting him see the prototype.  He hefted it.  "A bit hefty for a purse weapon or a pocket."  He looked at it.  "Electrical?"

"Not quite," the seller said, handing him a pamphlet.  "It's a different type of pain beam.  Not quite electricity but a stun gun sort.  Even though it hits on a different frequency and immobilizes without the risk of seizures, strokes, or heart attacks.   It does have a few different buttons, including a 120 decibel alarm."  She showed him the buttons.  "That one has standard pepper spray.  That's the trigger for the stun gun.  That's the alarm," she said, pointing at the blue button.  "It's all in one area so you can hit them all at once to really make the person trying you sorry."

"The next bad guy who shows up we can try it on," Greg said cheerfully.   He saw Xander go running past.  "Huh.  Wonder what that's about."

Tony followed more slowly, watching the huge thing that was towering over the hotel.  "What the hell?" he muttered.  "Hey, Xander, is it robotic or material?" he called.

"Robotic.  I don't have anything to short it out though.  Got a taser?"  The robot laughed.  "Aw, fuck," he muttered.  "Don't make me blow you up.  The Feds won't like it."  It suddenly shut down and he turned, finding someone with a remote.  "What the hell are you doing?"

"Pay me and I'll leave it off," he sneered.

Xander punched him, taking the remote.  "Stupid fucking brat, Warren.  Grow the hell up!"  Ian leaned out of the main hotel doors.  He waved the remote.  "Want the toy?"

"Sure."  He came out to look at the remote.  "What can it do?"

"At that size, sneezing is probably dangerous," Xander said, pointing at him.  "He's an evil overlord wannabe.  This isn't his first attempt."

Warren pressed something in his pocket and the robot reactivated, focusing on Ian since he had the remote.  "You'll die for hitting me."

Xander glared, then upped his hormones, watching him whimper. "I'd beg me not to kill you."

"But..."

"Warren, take a *real* good look at who I am," Xander said dryly.  He looked then swallowed.  "Just because I live in Miami doesn't mean I can't take apart your tonka toy."

Warren stood up.  "She's not here," he sneered.

"I don't need her."  He concentrated and his bag of weapons came flying at him, letting him pull out something.  He put it next to him, safe end on the ground.  Warren whimpered.  "Your choice, Warren.  I can shower this courtyard with metal or you can let some Feds and their scientists have it."

"No, mine!" he snarled.  Ian looked then tried the off button.  Didn't work.  "Ha!  I'll never turn it off now!" he shouted, starting to move.  Xander shot at his feet, making him scream but stop and go to his knees on the ground, covering his head.  "Don't kill me!"

"Nice shot, even with a crappy gun," Ian said, taking it from him.  "Get the remote."  Xander went to pat him down for the remote while the robot snarled at him.  "And put the weapon back."

"Yes, Ian," he sighed.

Tony came out with something and shot it at the robot, shutting it down.  "There, better."  He beamed.  "Hey, boss, the zappy thingy works against giant robots who want to stomp Feds," he called as he walked back that way.  He got a few amused looks.  "An evil geek tried to take us all.  Xander's handling him," he finished cheerfully.

Don Epps parked and got out, looking at the robot.  "Tell me that's a Hollywood stunt that moved in the wrong direction?"  Ian pointed at the cowering guy who was begging Xander not to hurt him.  "Uh-huh.  Who is he?"

"Xander called him Warren, seems to know him, Epps."

"From high school," Xander called.

"So he's from Sunnydale too?" Don asked.

Xander beamed and nodded.  "Yup.  He wants to be an evil overlord.  You know, he's really smart.  I'm sure some government project somewhere could use his brains."

"Didn't you pay to get scientists and geeks back from that sort of situation?" Ian asked dryly.

"Well, yeah," Xander admitted.  "But they didn't piss me off.  You can give him a choice of projects or jail.  I'm sure the nice, buff, big, gang guys would *love* someone like Warren if he made that choice instead of upping the military science people or even like the one the demon underground talks about going on by NORAD.  You could even let the one with the hair help him choose.  That'd be free will instead of conscription or being sold into slavery."  He beamed.  "It's even logical."

"I'm proud you're using reasoning," Don said dryly.  "For right now, let's take him into custody, Xander."

"Can I have the crappy gun back?  It's all Calleigh would let me bring for guns."

"Fine," Ian said, handing it back.  "Put it into the bag too."

Xander dropped it in there.  Warren gave him an odd look.  He pulled out the rocket again.  "I can give them a puzzle.  Many scientists like puzzles."

"The bag isn't that big," he said quietly, staring at him.  "How?"

Xander grinned.  "Mystical road trips with a priest of Ares."  He put the weapon back and walked inside, handing Don the bag.  "Remember the tapes about Warren?  It was him.  Don and Ian have him."

"Good," he said, going to look.  "Guys, need handcuffs?"

"Got a few sets in the car, thanks anyway," Don said.  "You'll probably need them later for when he's bouncier again."

Don Flack just smirked.  "I don't need 'em.  That's Danny."  He strolled off again, going to help Xander calm down.  "It's not a problem.  Just a geek with a mega robot.  Apparently he liked anime."  That got a few laughs.  "The Feds have it."

"BUT THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!  IT'S NOT LOGICAL!  EVEN ROSENBURG CAN'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN!" was shouted outside and floated in to them.

Xander snickered.  "Wow, I'm really impressive.  Not only am I a helper of karma, now I crank the laws of the universe too.  I should be proud."

Ray Junior looked at him then shook his head slowly.  "You need more chocolate.  There's a whole fondue fountain, Xander.  Get me some too?"  Xander beamed and went to do that.  He looked at his uncle.  "This one can't come to Miami, right?"

"No, I believe they'll be finding him a more appropriate way to wear out the urges to take over the world," Horatio decided with a small sigh at the end, shaking his head slightly.  The young guy ran in.  "Yes?" he asked patiently.

"Where is he!  He can't do that!  Not even Picard and Q can do that!" he snarled.

Xander looked over.  "Q created a number of alternate realities, they were simply shallow and not for more than a single use.  You need to rewatch those eps and quit listening to Riker's pick-up lines, Warren."  He strolled back over, handing Ray his plate of snacks with a small bowl of chocolate dipping fondue.  His own was in his hand.  "Then again, isn't the whole 'Janeway' issue a real alternate universe in some ways?  They ran into plenty of time slips.  She was not only portaling to another realm by what they went through, but it was pretty close to doing planeular travel too in many ways.  If you studied those books, they're fascinating.  Then you could have your own Planet Kirk with hotty girls in go-go boots."

Warren swallowed.  "You can do that?"

"I can do that," he said smugly.  "Ryan could probably do that if he asked.  A few of the others of us in here can too."  He nibbled on a dipped berry, frowning.  "Frozen.  Still chilly.  Not bad really."  He ate another one, then smirked at him.  "Hell, Warren, half the people in here could own a country and rule it with their lover's amused pleasure if we *really* wanted to.  Even women like the one in the corner would drop at our feet.  You just don't have it, dude."  Warren snarled and threw something at Yelina, then hit something on his beltline, fading from view.  He looked up, then fingered something on his necklace.  He looked at Horatio.  "DPP can find him and bring him back."  Warren and Yelina both returned, her scowling at him.  "Just think, I was gonna grow up to be just like him," he said with an evil smirk at Yelina.  He walked off nibbling.  "He's in here," he called.  Ian walked in and grabbed him, then looked at Yelina and grabbed her since she was wearing furs and high heeled strappy sandals.  Don drove them off with Yelina complaining about this strange young man.  Xander grinned at Ray Junior then kissed him on the cheek.  "Now she knows how hard it can be," he said quietly, walking off.

Ray pointed. "That's an evil day.  I can't cure those."

"I can," Horatio said, going to calm Xander down with Speed and Danny's help.  It might even take Ryan to help knock him out but they could do that.  Speed took his plate, Horatio knocked him out, and Danny carried him off.  "Get him back into cuddly mode, Danny."

"I'm tryin'," he complained.  "Not my fault the evil geek squad showed up!"  He walked off with Xander, Don coming to help.  "You know, Yelina might've gotten through to him about how bad he was."

"Could be.  She's a strong, stubborn woman," Don agreed.

Ray shook his head quickly.  "That's a bad thought."  Adam gave him an odd look.  "If Mom could out-stubborn that guy or he could do it to her."  He walked off nibbling, giving his uncle a hug.  "He warned her to leave me alone.  Next time maybe she shouldn't send me a threat in the hotel mail."  Horatio glared at him.  He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over.  "There you go."  He walked off.  "I didn't even tell him.  I don't know how he knew."

Horatio looked at the note saying Yelina was going to be dragging him home, by force if necessary, come Sunday night and he would not put up a fuss or she would be making sure he was a priest when she got done fixing him so he was good again.  "That is a threat," he agreed, going to fax it to Don Epps' office.  He could handle Yelina.  They had to get Xander unevil for a bit longer.  Before he went to the center of evil and had to be evil to the remains of his family.  Then again, Yelina had brought it onto her own head.....

Maybe the Gods were letting Xander help with the karma issue after all.

The GHS Boys of Prophetic Doom.

Notes:  Starts during the convention in parts 58-59 and is an outtake from after the robot, the next day, to later on in the timeline.

Melissa looked at the two guys walking into the hotel, smiling at them.  "Hi, guys.  New members?  I didn't see you at the convention in New York last year."

"Just found out," the taller one said with a smile.

"That's kinda cool.  Let me introduce you to some people."  She led them off, finding the one she wanted.  He was a *great* mentor and had helped her a lot.  Beyond that, if they were dangerous, since they felt funny to her, he could handle it.  "Xander!"  He turned to look at her, grinning a bit at the two guys.  "These two just found out.  This is their first convention and you're a *great* mentor.  You helped me tons."  She kissed them on the cheek.  "I thought they could use your help too.  That way you didn't have to beat up on that geeky bastard if he comes back."

He grinned.  "Ask Buffy to tell you about Warren and his evil geek trio sometime," he said with a wink and a grin.  "But I can mentor these two too.  Thanks, Melissa.  Cuddle pile's up and nearly packed."  She squealed, heading that way.  "C'mon, guys."  He walked them outside.  He knew them.  He had seen them on the incubus' realm.  He had seen them at the invasion.  He found a crate in the alley to hop up and sit on, looking at them.  "What did you think this was?" he asked with a fond air and a tolerant smile.

"Succubus convention?" the shorter one said.

"Nope."  The other one grabbed his head.  "Hey, Ryan, can I please have a test kit?  These guys are new and we need to find out a relative level since I think one's broadcasting."

"Sure, Xander."  He went back inside to get Adam's and bring it back.  He nodded at them.  "Newbies, huh?  Xander's a good mentor and he gives the lectures very well."  He smiled at Xander.  "Behave."

"I am!  Go hover and fuss over Ray Junior."  He nodded, going to do that.  Xander hopped down to close the door again then hopped back up onto the crate, looking at them.  "Okay, we've got to have two talks, not one.  We have to have two talks because you guys are broadcasting."  They gave him odd looks.  "GHS, this convention and the people in the group, have a pheromone and hormone condition, boys.  We broadcast lust."

"That's why I get all those chicks," Dean said with a grin.

"We're hoping they're wearing you out because otherwise we get taken.  A lot."

Dean stared at him.  That could explain a few things....  "Test Sammy."

"I'm testing both of you, dumbass."  He pulled out the things he needed, looking at Sam.  "Need about three drops of blood, guys.  Each."  Dean opened his mouth so he stared.  "Now."  He pulled out a knife and pricked both their fingers, letting Xander drop the things onto the pads of cotton.  He looked then sighed.  "Level fives.  Not bad.  Not critical.  Still able to deal with it as long as you're wearing it out."  He looked at Sam.  "Which you're not.  You're hazy around you."  He held up a hand at the start of the protest from him.  "When we're backlogged, like you obviously are, we start to feel confused, scatterbrained, sometimes get the munchies, I've heard some get tired a lot more often.  We get headaches.  Anything like visions, because there's two others that have them in GHS, come more frequently."  Sam slumped at that.  "You *have* to wear it out.  Otherwise you'll wake up somewhere else wondering how you got there after someone snatches you."

"I watch him," Dean protested.

"That's wonderful.  If they find out about both of you, you're both going to end up there."  Dean groaned.  "Listen, all right?  This is the short, dirty version of this talk, then we'll have the other one because it'll clear up some other issues you've probably been wondering about."  He looked at Dean.  "Our hormones draw others.  We're so far beyond the little mistress and boytoys that it's not funny.  I'm in my own category of that.  Some of us naturally draw demons, some of us draw humans.  I draw both."  They groaned.  "You draw both, both of you.  The thing you do for a living draws them, this makes them want to keep you instead of kill you.  Until they use you up and that'll be after they castrate you.  Got it?"  They nodded.  "The only way to wear this out is sex or other pleasurable things.  The only way.  It's all hormone related.  There's a few dangerous things that can weed it out temporarily but they'll kill you.  I lost twenty pounds in two weeks because of them and nearly died."

Dean swallowed.  "So you're the human version of the siren myth?"

"Probably.  You'd have to ask someone like Adam that.  He's a history person.  He might know."  He curled one foot up, holding onto his knee, looking at them.  "Having heard of you two and your hunt, I understand.  I know the hunting very well and how that's probably weeding out some of it for you.  Dean, I know your rep says that you get all the women.  That's helping too.  Sam needs to start wearing his down too.  Before a hunt gets too extreme and he dies a final death."

"You heard?" he asked quietly, looking around.

He grinned, holding out a hand.  "Xander Harris, formerly of Sunnydale, now in Miami."  They stared, mouths open.  "Fucked over by Buffy once so I left helping her."

Dean swatted at his hand.  "Damn it."

"Yeah."  He grinned.  "There's a lot I do know and do understand.  I'm a level ten.  That's as high as you go and the only reason I'm not in a fluffy, cuddly, bouncy mood right now is Ryan's still tainted slightly and I've been in crisis mode since we got here."

Sam swallowed.  "What can I do to keep this down?"

"Level five isn't so bad.  Plenty of level fives work normal jobs, all that.  You simply have to wear out the hormones, Sam.  If you backlog you're nine hundred times more likely to get taken.  Also, we don't talk about other members.  It's a security risk.  You talk about them, they disappear too."

Dean nodded.  "I can see that.  How many times have you been taken?"

"This year?  Ten, twelve.  Something like that."  He shrugged.  "I'm seen as a tough one to get.  They know I can defend myself.  My boyfriends are cops.  I baby the crime lab in Miami because they're family.  I have many weapons and I'm very skilled with them.  So they don't often try me.   They gift me.  They annoy me.  There's one who I'm coming to see as a guy I could easily love and stay with if I didn't have my boys.  He kinda helps protect me.  You don't have to do that."

Sam nodded.  "How bad is he?"

"He's on the High Demonic Council.  There's a lot of species that don't hunt, Sam."  Sam gaped.  Dean whimpered.  He grinned.  "Come to Miami after this.  You guys can get into my books and classification manuals."  He slid off the crate.  "That'll help you guys a lot and I might let you poach some of my old hunting gear."  They nodded.  He sighed, looking around.  "Now for the second talk.  When did you die, Sam?"

He gaped.  Dean glared at him.  "How did you...."

Xander held up a hand.  "You notice he has a sudden headache when some people come near him?"

"Yeah," he said, looking confused.  "Why?"

"That's a sign another immortal is nearby, Dean."  He pulled a hairpin out, using it to scratch his arm, then Sam's arm.  He let him see how both of them were healing the same way.  He looked at Sam.  "It's a precious gift.  You won't die a final death until your head comes off your body," he said quietly.  "It's not demonic.  It does mean that you've got some hard thoughts coming."

"Why?" Dean demanded, leaning against the crate, arms crossed over his chest.

"Because we're all orphans and foundlings," Xander said, looking at him.  Dean gave him a horrified look.  "Ninety percent of who you are depends on who raised you, Dean."  He pulled something off his neck, holding it up.  "Hellmouth energy."  He handed it to Sam, watching as he moaned and shivered.  "He was there at least once.  A very long time ago but he was."

"I remember our mom being pregnant with him," Dean complained, taking the necklace.  It felt warm to him.  Not moan inducing but nice.  "This is hellmouth energy?"

Xander nodded.  "There's a few of them.  That's from mine.  Me being raised there is why I attract demons and humans."  He looked at Sam.  "Which I'm guessing you do too?"  He nodded quickly.  He looked at Dean, taking the necklace back.  "Even if she was pregnant, it doesn't mean that she didn't miscarry.  It doesn't mean she didn't have the baby switched on her or switch it herself.  I don't know how it happened. The only ones who would are your parents."

"They're both dead," Sam said quietly.

Xander shrugged.  "I'm sorry.  I *know* we're all foundlings, Sam.  Every last one of us.  Me, the others inside, all of us."  He looked at Dean.  "And you're a pre-immie.  Dying a violent death is going to bring you to our side."  Dean went rigid, staring at him coldly.  He shrugged.  "I can't often tell but you're strong.  I can feel a bit of quickening buzz off you."

"Would selling his soul to raise me cause that?" Sam asked, starting to frown.

Xander smirked at Dean.  "Good news, the deal's invalid.  He was going to come back anyway.  Just takes a while the first few times."  Dean was still staring at him.  "There's immies who're over five thousand, Dean.  A few actually.  Quite a few over a millennium.  Yeah, I'm younger, but I'm also one of the better fighters in the game."  He moved closer.  "I want you to guys to come to Miami.  There's things you have to know about the game.  There's immies who're hunting for yours and your brother's head."

"How did you die?" he asked.

"A hunter gassed me and a friend named Oz, who's still in Sunnydale and one of us, in my parking garage in New York.  When we got back to his place, he shot me.  When I woke up he came in with a sword and was going to take my head right then."  Dean gagged at that.  "Fortunately I had a clue what I was doing and killed him back.  I was asking for information and the sword went through his throat," he finished quietly.  "It was a brutal introduction to the game.  They don't care how old you are.  They don't care if you're new, still training with a sword, whatever.  They want the power you hold.  They're going to take it if they can remove your head from your shoulders.  Your only options are to fight, run, or hide on holy ground," he finished, staring at him.  "For you, when you die a violent enough death, you'll be coming over too."

"We can fight with swords," Dean told him, standing up on his own again, moving around him.  "We have for years."

Xander smirked at him.  "Really?"  He pulled his two shrunken ones out of his hair, looking at them.  The spell kinked and he groaned.  "Willow's still here."  He put them onto the crate and texted Ryan, getting a confused Adam coming out with swords.  "Adam, they came here thinking we were succuba but they're level fives," he said, nodding at the tests.  "And immies."

"One's not yet," he said blandly.

Xander looked at him.  "They're demon hunters, Adam."

He shuddered.  "You poor things."  He stepped back.  "What happened to yours?"  Xander pointed.  "The spell?"

"Willow's nearby."  He handed one to Dean.  "Try me."

"You're ...."

"Try.  Me," he ordered, staring at him.  "If not, I can help teach you.  You need into my books anyway, guys.  Might as well start training with me since I know how you were trained and the ways you have to hunt now."  Dean shrugged and lunged.  Xander moved and had him disarmed within minutes without breaking a sweat.  He looked down at him.  "Adam can't beat me most of the time.  Ryan can't and he's a priest to Ares, God of War.  Trained in one of his temples off-plane."  He helped pull him up, looking at him.  "I can make it so you and your brother survive for a very long time, Dean.  Unless you both want to become monks.  Because with your life it's probably months away from your death and he needs it already."

"I can fight," Sam complained.  He took Dean's sword.  "That's heavy."  Xander changed out and he shrugged, lunging at him.  "Dad taught us."

Xander moved behind him and elbowed him in the spine then pushed him down while he took a swing where his neck should be.  "Ryan taught me that one."  He rested on his sword, seeing the horrified looks.  "I'm still about your age.  I died very young and pretty, at twenty.  I have skills you could use and a lot of information you could use while hunting.  Plus how to help you with the hormone stuff.  I'm in Miami."  He handed off the sword and took Sam's from his limp hand.  "All the ones inside are peaceful," he told him.  "You need to be here anyway.  We can help you with a lot of stuff.  My family has a few of us and we all learned different styles."

"How did you do that move?" Dean asked.  "I've never seen it used before."

Xander grinned.  "While we were on a planeular road trip, I learned this really neat dance, self-defense, erotic dance style.  It comes with sword work built into the storylines.  I teach it to any GHS who asks."

"That's how you moved that way," Sam said.  Xander nodded.  "Do the hunters among you...us know that?"

Xander shrugged.  "Some can try but they won't get it perfect," Adam told them.  He smiled.  "It's not a death sentence, boys.  You'll have a very long life as long as your head stays on.  Being GHS as well makes it a bit more fun."  He smirked at Xander.  "It's always interesting getting him back from the demons who love him."  Xander blew a kiss.

"That means I'm a foundling too," Dean said.  He kept getting stuck on that thought.  He'd have to push it back until he could prove they were wrong. He knew who he was.

Adam looked at him. "Ninety percent of who you are can be attributed to who raised you and how you were raised," he said.  "You're still your parents' sons, even if you aren't genetically."

"Any idea if we spontaneously appear?" Sam asked.  "Demons, anything like that?"

Xander shrugged, looking at Adam.  "I never wanted to know.  You?"

"No one's sure," he admitted.  "We don't seem to appear when there's another nearby."  He smiled slightly at Sam.  "I do know we're not demonic.  Many of us hide on holy ground at least once in our lives while we're exhausted with life."

Xander looked at him.  "I lock the gates and sic Hubert on people," Xander quipped.  He grinned at Dean.  "The same trip I learned to dance during I found a baby dragon in a marketplace.  He's inside."

"Baby dragon?" he asked, looking amused.

"Yeah.  Along with my ferrets, my two dogs, my boyfriends."  He shrugged.  "It's a convention.  We're all here."

Dean slowly shook his head.  "This is insane."

"Yeah, well.  Welcome to GHS.  The hormones do it to us," Xander quipped with a bright, happy grin.  "You should've seen the evil overlord wannabe yesterday with his robot."  He handed back the test kit.  "They tested out as fives."

"Not too high or too many problems usually," Adam said.  "Come along, boys.  We can have a more comprehensive talk inside.  Before someone jumps us."

Sam grabbed his head.  "Can they not stop that?" he whined.

"No," Xander said.  "It's an early warning system.  After the first few dozen it gets better.  Some can shield theirs down so you barely feel them.  Like Adam does."  He looked at the guy stomping up the alley.  "What?"

"Who are you?" he demanded.  "You're in my city!"

"I'm here for the convention," Xander said dryly, pointing back at the hotel.  "Then I'll go back to Miami."

He snarled, pulling a sword out of his jacket.  "I don't think so."

Xander sighed and took the better sword back, moving Dean out of the way.  "Don't stop him.  It's ethical, single combat."  He gave him a look.  "You learn that sometimes that's breakable but not always."  He waved him on.  "Come on.  What do you want on your headstone?"

"Xander, such cockiness," Adam complained.

Xander looked at him.  "Yay me."  The guy lunged and Xander ducked, spinning to get him back.  This one was good.  Fairly decent.  Probably at Connor's level.  It took him more than a few moves to beat him.  "Quickening," he warned, then he took his head.  He sighed and moved back, letting it flow up and hit him, making him close his eyes and ground himself by long practice.  He panted through it until he was better, then looked at them.  "That's what happens when you take a head.  Hurts like hell and you end up horny."  He handed back the sword, looking at his.  Then he grinned.  "Can you get Willow to unfuck her spell so I can jump someone?"  Adam sighed but nodded.  "Thanks. See you guys in a few hours.  Gotta scratch this itch."  He headed inside, finding Ryan pacing.  He pounced him against a wall.  "Pray for an elevator or a portal to one of our rooms," he murmured against his lips between kisses.

"Took a head?" he asked quietly, leading him off.  He got Xander to his room and let him pounce him.  He could help him wear it out easiest right now.

Adam finished calling someone to clean up the body then looked at the boys.  "You don't have to challenge someone.  You don't have to accept a challenge but they'll often attack anyway.  Xander has *always* been protective of people."  He pointed.  "Shall we?  That way we can get formal bloodwork readings?"

"Violent death?" Dean asked quietly, staring at the body.

Adam made him look at him.  "Yes, violent death.  It will bring you across," he said, staring him down.  "A hunt would qualify.  We had one of us who hunted demons back during the middle ages.  Don was brought across by a friend shooting him.  We've seen some from horrific car accidents but not lesser ones.  Anything that would cause a trauma."

Dean nodded.  "I was in a coma from a car crash."

Adam smirked.  "Apparently it wasn't enough."  He pointed.  "There's food and things inside, boys.  Let's get out of here."  They nodded, heading in with him.  The Watchers were coming up the alley to deal with him.  He led them to the room the Council was in, taking some blood to test it.  He looked at the machine.  "Xander added too much of the one chemical.  You're coming up a four-point-three," he said, looking at the taller one.  "Though you're broadcasting."

"Sam.  Sam Winchester.  This is my brother Dean."

"All right."  He typed that in and took Dean's blood to test his.  "Four-point-seven."  He looked at him. "Slightly higher but still not bad.  Xander probably brought you down a bit.  We can test again tomorrow to make sure of it."

Dean nodded slowly.  "What's the difference?"

Adam led them out to the shrine.  "We have approximately three thousand members," he said quietly.  "These ones disappeared this year and haven't been recovered yet."  He looked at them.  "Mostly because they were backlogged."  They both shuddered.  "Now, think about your job and that issue."

Dean nodded.  "So me picking up chicks is a good thing.  What about Sammy?"

"Any pleasure can do it.  He could be helping himself.  It could be other pleasures, like massages.  The closer you get to getting off, the better off you are and the easier it wears it out."

"We were on the succuba's realm," Sam sighed.

"That can do it," he agreed.  "It could've also activated it on you.  Or at least been a reason they targeted you."

Dean looked at his little brother.  "I'm buying you a hooker later, dude."

"I can find my own!"  He gave him a dirty look.

Adam laughed.  "There are those who play around here.  There's a very good room that could help with you both."  He led them that way.  "The cuddle pile does wonders when you're in a minor backlog."

Dean snickered.  "Not my thing, sorry."  He gave Sam a shove inside, letting him be pounced and cuddled.  Sam wiggled a bit but sighed after a minute.  He looked at Adam.  "This other room?"

"You're not in backlog," he said dryly, giving him a look.

"Point, but fun?"

"If you need it."  He walked him off.  "There's a monitor in there.  You're safe here."

"That was really Buffy's helper?" he asked quietly.  "He was said to be bouncy but a hardass."

Adam smiled and nodded.  "He's still in crisis mode but yes.  When he's at home and safe he's much more bouncy, fun loving, spoiling, and petting.  Hubert, quit trying to bring Melissa into your harem," he ordered.  The dragon pouted at him.  "Tough."  Melissa giggled, giving him a pet before bouncing off to the self-defense lecture.  He pointed.  "We're teaching self-defense right now."

"I'm pretty good at it.  Our father was a Marine."

Adam patted him on the back.  "It's often a hard thought adjustment but he loved you anyway, Dean.  He's still the reason you are the man you are today."

"I still swear I remember Mom being pregnant with Sammy."

Adam shrugged.  "Many things can happen.  The hospital could've switched them.  She could've been pretending so no one would question when they found a new infant.  Who knows."

Dean nodded at that.  "I guess."  He looked back at the room then at him.  "Okay, I need details.  Xander went over it pretty fast."

"Of course.  I assumed he was the more research oriented one."

Dean smirked.  "I think he's having a personal moment."  He walked him off to the bar to get a beer and talk with him.  He clearly had a lot of clues they needed.  Especially about that Xander guy's offer.

***

Xander smiled when he heard the car pulling in, going to open the front door.  It had taken them over a month to get to Miami but they were finally here.  "I have A/C and cold drinks," he called, leaving it open.  The dogs ran out to sniff them but then back inside.  It was the humid, sticky part of the afternoon.  Too hot for them.  Both boys walked in.  "Want lemonade, soda, water?  There may be some juice, not real sure."  He went to look.  "Kitchen, guys."

"This is a nice place," Dean called, walking after him.  "Lemonade's good for me.  Sammy?"

"Water?"  Xander nodded, handing over glasses and sitting down at the island with his glass of soda.  "You have books?"

Xander led them into the office and the pile of books, trunks, and bags.  "Those all hold demon books.  The bags are bottomless.  Some of the trunks are too."  Sam whimpered at that.  He handed him an inventory list.  "That's what I have."

Sam looked it over.  "I've only heard myths about some of these."

Xander shrugged, heading back to the kitchen to give his boys a treat.  The dogs headed back to lounge on the ottomans.  "A watcher helped my mother kidnap and torture me for a bit.  He was paying a demon for the books by letting him suck off the extra hormones I was putting out."  He took another drink of his soda, looking at Dean.  "If I see him, I'm taking his head.  His name is Rupert Giles and he's Buffy's watcher."

Dean shuddered.  "The underground has stories about what fell out in Sunnydale."

"Buffy started to drink while in college.  They told me not to come home.  I didn't.  Then she got drunk one night at a frat house and dogpiled."  Dean groaned at that.  "Her mother and she blamed me for not being there."  He shrugged.  "She apologized after the invasion, has her head on straight again, but I could only forgive her.  There's no way I'm going to go back there.  I hunt down here when I have to.  There's not too many harmful demons and most of them want to have sex with me.   So I find them pretty easily," he finished with a small smirk for Sam.  "Heard you ran into one I sent off pouting."

"That monsoon demon," he moaned.  "What makes him stop?"

"I was ready to kill him.  He castrated me, put me in a dress, then piled silver jewelry on me.  When I woke up I was not a happy camper.  He may be made of wind but I went after him with a sword."  Dean snickered at that.  "He finally got the point later on."  He yawned.  "It's siesta time in Miami, sorry."  He looked at them.  "You're still pre.  Good job."

"It was a close thing," he complained.

Xander nodded.  "I didn't expect mine at all."  He finished his glass of soda.  "I have cookies, brownies, real food, and cheese sticks in the freezer if you guys are hungry.  Danny and Don won't be home for a while yet."  He looked at them.  "Oh, if you're doing bad things to fund the cause, don't tell my family?  Most of them are cops or CSI.  They'll throw fits."  He looked in the fridge, putting a brownie down in front of each of them, then pulling out the pork chops from dinner.  "Leftovers?"

"Sure," Dean agreed.  "This is a really strange conversation."

Xander grinned.  "They seem to happen here."  He snickered.  "You should've heard the one I came home from Vegas with once.  I came home saying I should be Queen of the Amazons."  Ares appeared, giving him an amused look.  "I should be.  I'd be a good one.  Much better than Gabrielle was on the show."

"Anyone would've been better than her, Xander."

He moved closer, smiling at him.  "I can plan battles, I can help plan the crop yield.  I could help go on raids for new men for them.  Breeding doesn't bother me and I can do some wound care.  I'm a good hunter for the tribe and they'd have fun with me.  We'd have some great celebrations at harvest and after finding some new men for them to steal.  And hey, I'd even look better in her outfit than she did.  Any of them but the blue dress in the first season."

Ares groaned.  "You're warped.  Get Wolfe to ride you harder tonight."

Xander smirked at him. "If you can help take the succubus taint out of him."

"Still!" he demanded.

"It helps!  Look how much I've gotten done around the house!" Xander said, waving a hand around.  "Even without Tabby and her boys today.  Plus all the building I've done."  He snuggled against his chest, giving him a hug.  "Horatio agreed with me.  I'd make a good Amazon queen."

"You're already a queen of a vampire realm after you staked the one running it."  He pushed him back.  "No cuddling unless you're sick."  Xander pouted.  "Don't even," he warned.

"My boys had an overnight stakeout," he pouted.

Ares groaned.  "No!" he disappeared.

Xander waved a hand.  "Ryan's patron saint, Ares, God of War.  Before you ask, one of his other people run a resort on holy ground in Las Vegas.  She did the show."  He smirked.  "He helped train me before I found the dance style and did train Ryan."

"Wow," Sam said, blinking hard.  "They're real?"

Strife appeared, looking at both of them. "Partially mine.  Not bad."  He smirked.  "Morning, boys."

"Strife," Xander cooed, giving him a hug.

"Get off!" he said, having to disappear from the octopus.  "Damn it, I hate it when they're gone for days on end!"

Xander cackled, grinning at Dean.  "One of my gods.  Level tens belong to Cupid and Strife."

"I can see why," Dean admitted, nibbling his brownie.  "Plates?"  Xander bounced over to get some, handing them over, taking some for himself.  "Lunchtime?" he teased.

"Well, yeah.  I didn't really eat a lot when I went to spoil my boys at the lab with lunch.  I cuddled instead.  It was good.  Nearly as satisfying."  He grinned at Sam.  "Yes, you get used to it.  Even Danny and my former poker playing thug buddies did."

"Poker playing thug buddies?" he asked quietly.

"I used to play poker with the underground here in Miami.  I was bored.  We surge when we're bored.  Since I didn't want kidnaped to another realm, again, I went to cure the boredom and help my boys by lightening their pockets so they couldn't use the money to buy new drugs or make bad plans for Miami."

"I hustle now and then to make us motel money," Dean complained.

Xander beamed.  "I made over six million in one weekend in Vegas, Dean."  Dean gaped.  He nodded.  "Yeah.  That's why the house is so nice.  We just got done renovating about eight months ago.  By the way, I have a dedicated practice area upstairs and guest rooms if you need them."

"We'll stay at a motel so we don't bother the family," Dean said.  "You know how the hunting goes.  Not much cash."

"Yeah, I remember working fast food to make the rent.  That sucked," Xander agreed.  "Carpentry was good for me but then again Anya was tiring me out nearly nightly."

"Girlfriend?" Sam asked.

Xander nodded, eating a bite and chewing.  "Anyanka, formerly over women scorned."  Dean choked.  He grinned. "She was my prom date and came back after the ascension for the sex."  He smirked.  "I managed to keep up somehow.  Don't know how but I did.  Working, my nympho with her bunny phobia, and slaying."

Sam moaned.  "Sunnydale was insane!"

"Yup!" he said cheerfully.  "It was an overrun, foothold situation.  Every night."  He heard a car and looked outside.  "That's Ray Junior, Horatio's nephew."

"The young guy with you guys at the convention," Dean said.

"Yup."  Ray stomped in.  "Bad day at school?"

"My girlfriend's a bitch."  He got a soda and looked at him.  "Sorry, didn't mean to vent in front of non-family."

"Nah, they're new students," Xander told him.  "They hunt too."

"Wow.  Did you come for the dead things books as Don calls them?"  He opened the can and took a sip.  "Because he'd love it if they disappeared suddenly."  He looked at Xander.  "Why is it that women decide to change their mind in the middle of a conversation?  We were talking about going to the movies tonight and one minute it's all good, she has one she wants to see, then she's all cranky, snarly, and bitchy about it, telling me I'm not getting any tonight and I'm a bastard because I only nodded at her suggestion.  Not like I give a damn what we see tonight."  He took another drink. "Then she puts around that I'm gay.  Bad in bed and gay.  And sleeping with my uncles.  I have *no* idea what's wrong with her."

"Possession?" Dean suggested.  "Did her eyes glow or anything like that?"

"No.  She's done this before.  It's like she has multiple personalities.  One of them hates me, one's a nympho who only wants sex, and the other two are okay enough."

"They make medicine for that," Xander told him.

"I know.  She wants to go to school to study that."  He took another drink.  "Need me to clear out?"

"I was going to let them into the books today, then work on the sword stuff tomorrow," Xander said.  "Did you ever get the bag out of the closet?"

"No."  He went to do that.  He came back.  "Any idea on where my mother is now?"

"I think Warren tried to get her back but he gave up when she went back to Brazil.  She did send Horatio an email threatening to move back up here."

"Charming," Ray Junior said dryly.  Both brothers stared at him.  "My mother and I are at odds right now.  She thinks I should be celibate, kidnaped, then die from it.  That I'm also too young to drive, date, have an allowance, that stuff.  Younger than I was before my father sent me back up here to live with my uncles."  He finished his soda and tossed  into the recycling bin.  "So, books?  We can do that.  Or I can watch over Hubert.  He's getting cranky again, Xander."

"I know.  I think he's about to go into a major growth spurt and it may be time to find him a better dragon teacher than I am."  He sighed, looking at him.  "It's going to suck."

"It is but we'll be here for you," he promised, giving him a hug.  "It'll be okay.  You'll still have the dogs and the ferrets."

Xander nodded.  "I know."  He rested his head against his shoulder.  "Sorry about the morbid topic, guys.  Happens now and then.  Did you guys want the classification stuff or other stuff?"

"Classification," Dean told him.  They nodded, Ray coming in to help heft books to the z- shaped desk.  He ran a hand over it.  "This is sweet."

"Thanks," Xander said with a grin.  "I built it."  He got out the other books they might need to look at.  "Not specifically classification manuals but they do tell histories of various higher clans."  He put one last one down in front of Sam.  "The more scholarly of us tend to recommend that book.  Connor tried to get me to read it too."  He shrugged.  "I learned strategy the hard way:  possession."  He walked out at their horrified looks.  "I'm doing stuff in the living room if you guys need help."

Ray opened a filing cabinet drawer.  "Paper if you need it and pens are in the top drawer of his desk if there's not any in the cup on top."  He went to see what Xander was doing.  "You're crocheting again?"

"Yeah.  I'm bored and shopped out."

"I remember the last time you said that," he said, giving him a look.  "Why are you worried this time?"  He sat down next to him, facing him.  The dogs looked over from their ottoman-holding-down.  "It's all right.  You're good boys, go back to sleep."  They put their heads back down at that assurance.  "Xander?"

"I haven't heard from Vesvold in a few weeks," he admitted.  He put it aside.  "I haven't heard from him since before the invasion."  Ray nodded slowly.  "I tried to email him but it came back as no such account.  I'm wondering if I pissed him off or if something happened."

"Can you get up there?"

"If he's pissed I don't want to make him more pissed."

"I know but if something happened...."

"I'd hope someone would've told me."  He looked at him.  "We were really close friends.  Which is what's bugging me.  If I pissed him off, I'd expect him to tell me what I had done not just walk away.  It wasn't the invasion, he agreed I should help with it.  That was about three days before we left for LA and...."  He trailed off with a shrug.  "I don't know."

"Xander, this says that there's a different human history," Sam called.

"Yeah, that's what the Watchers found out when they tortured some demons," he called back.  "That's what they keep trying to bring back by opening a hellmouth."  He looked at Ray again.  "I don't want to seem pushy and call his mom or something."

"Good point."  He considered it.  "Has anyone given you any hints?"

"No.  Not a one.  Not even when I went to visit my babies at the demonic warehouse."  He grimaced.  "I have no clue.  I'm thinking about hitting a demon club tonight when my boys are in bed.  Since they'll be exhausted and will sleep for the next day and a half."

"Who are they busting now?"

"The mayor's wife is taking bribes from a few major cartel lords.  No one I know personally but she's been doing it for her husband and a few of the council members.  Who're being assholes to Horatio.  Did you hear he caught one with his panties down?"

"Yup.  He's been trying to make his life a living hell."

Xander gave him a look.  "We'll see about that too."

Ray gave him a hug.  "No going into evil mode.  Uncle H said so."

"I can protect Horatio and the lab from the stupid bastard without going evil.  He's not worthy of real evil thoughts."  He grimaced.  "Really he's not."  He looked outside then at him.  "Someone bought noise lady's house.  Not sure who.  Seen a decorator going in there."

"Interesting.  Maybe they'll be nice."

"Maybe.  Hopefully.  If not, well, I could expand," he muttered, cracking Ray up.  "Want to go pick stuff?"

"Sure."  He stood up and pulled Xander up.  "Guys, we're going to pick some stuff from the trees around the house," he called.  "Answer the phone if it rings."  He walked out once they had baskets, going to see what was still ripe.  They found a lot of nuts, some lemons, and some of the apples.  "You know, you have that really nice lemon and nut not- quite-a-pudding thing with the crust?  You could make it for dinner."

"I could."  He gathered some more lemons and looked around, heading for his herb garden.  He looked back.  "Ray?"  He came out of the trees.  "Don't disappear."

"I'm trying hard not to."  He came over to help.  "Mint?"

"Yup, that patch over there," he said with a point.  He moved to get some water.  "I have to water the magic herbs better," he complained, doing that.  He heard the gates open and looked back at the car pulling in.  "Any idea?" he asked.

"Nope."

Xander finished his project, letting Ray take the baskets inside.  He walked over.  "Yes?  Are you lost?"

"Are you Alexander Harris?"  Xander nodded.  "I'm here to make an offer for your house so your neighbor can expand."

Xander snickered.  "Hell.  No.  Get out."  He pointed, staring him down.  "This is a family home.  Our family lives here and I work from home most of the time.  Get out before you make me retaliate."

"You're not one of us, young man.  I do know *all* about you.  It would be better for you if you left Miami."

Xander pulled a gun, pointing it at him.  "If you knew anything about me you'd know I'm paranoid about my safety and you just violated it.  Guys, call a cop!" he shouted.  The gate guards came running.  Dean came to the door.  "Dean, don't worry about it."  He went back inside.  He continued to stare at him.  A cruiser pulled in behind his car.  "Guys, this very supposedly upstanding man just threatened me to leave Miami so someone could buy my house."  They laughed.

"We know all about your drug habit."

"He doesn't touch the stuff," one of the officers said.

The man stared at him. "How would you know?" he sneered.

"His lover's a cop and the other's a CSI.  The guy who's like his father is a CSI.  He's protected by cops."  The man gaped.  "The closest thing you're going to get on him is his former poker habit to weed down the illegal money sources in Miami and he's got two lovers."

"And I found myself in a brothel for six weeks," Xander admitted.  Both officers gaped at him.  He shrugged.  "I was on a road trip to find myself, guys.  That's where I found out what I am and what I like.  It was great fun.  Made some good money.  Retired from it and went to Don."

"So, you gave it up for Flack?" one of them asked.

Xander beamed and nodded.  "Yeah."

"Wow.  Flack must be good."  Xander gave him a look then stuck out his tongue.  "Interesting."

"Very.  By the way," he told the idiot, "it was a higher class brothel.  I had people who paid over a hundred grand for an hour, sweetheart."  He gasped at that.  "So, no, you're not my sort of people and I would suggest that whoever wanted to buy my house leave.  Today.  I'm not putting up with shit and if you try to interrupt my safety, I react.  This is your *only* warning."  He put his gun up, looking at the officers.  "Is the threat enough?"

"It's more than enough to bring him in," one of them decided.  "Even the mayor's wife knows not to mess with you, Mr. Harris."

Xander grinned.  "I never played poker with her."  They both laughed.  He shrugged.  "I didn't."  He looked at the community guards then pointed at the black Impala.  "New students."  They nodded.  "Until you hear otherwise."

"Yes, Mr. Harris.  You really did?"

He nodded. "I really did.  Then I left it after my six week contract was up.  Made a hell of a lot of money.  Moved in with Don."  He grinned a sappy grin.  "He's kept me pretty well since then."

"He did say if he made more money he'd buy you bling," Ray called from the doorway.

"Your lover?" the guy sneered.

"No, friend's nephew.  He helps me with things in the office and stuff."  He shrugged.  "Gives him something to do after school to make gas and insurance money for his car."  The man sneered and got into his car, backing around the cruiser to head off.  He looked at the amused looking officers. "I can shoot him next time, right?"

"Let us arrest him, sir.  The new head District Attorney is the one who protested when the guy who was trying to hold you hostage killed himself."

"Pity.  Isn't he dirty?"  They nodded. "How in the hell?"

"The mayor picked him," one said with a small shrug.

Xander rolled his eyes.  "I do not like that situation."  He shook his head.  "Thank you, guys."

"You're welcome, Mr. Harris.  We're glad he wasn't trying to kidnap you," one said with a grin.

"Me too.  He's slimy and nasty.  I'd never fuck that even while I was sedated."  They laughed as they got back into the car.  He looked at the gate guard.  "He works for...."  They pointed at the noise complaining woman's house.  "Who is?  I've seen a decorator."

"You're getting a new money person in.  She's an up and coming person."

"Yay.  Noisy?"

"Very.  Report it to us if you have problems, Mr. Harris.  I know she'll have an open house soon."

Xander nodded. "Pity about her.  How many places has she been kicked out of?"

"About half of Miami.  She should be on Star Island with the other snobs, but...."  He shrugged.  "We'll see."

"Yup.  Thanks.  Watch out for him?"

"Of course.  I'll get your gate on the way out, sir."

"Thank you."  He headed back inside, going to wash his hands.  "That guy made me want to take a shower.  Not even demonic and he was slime covered."  He saw Ray giggling into the phone.  "The new person next door is an up and coming person who is supposed to be a very bad neighbor.  You can tell whoever that.  Tell my boys to cab home since they're so tired too."

Ray repeated that then grinned at him.  "Don said they might dent his bike."

"Hard to do since it's in the garage."

Ray laughed.  "Don, he said your bike is in the garage," he told him.  He nodded.  "Yeah, cab, dear."  He hung up.  "So, if she's a starlette or something what're we going to do?"

"Hope like hell she goes to party elsewhere.  I will not put up with constant parties.  At all."  That got a nod.  "The other neighbors are nice."

"What about the place downtown?" he asked, leaning on the island, watching him rinse off the lemons.

"It's nice.  I was going to let Ryan have it.  It's a just-in-case spot, Ray."

"I know."  He reached over to pat him on the back.  "Need help?"

"Sure."  Ray came over to help him check the lemons for bad spots.  At least until the explosion rocked the house.  They ran outside to find the house next door in a smoking pile and part of their fence down.  He called Horatio.  "Someone blew up the neighbor's house and part of our fence."  He hung up and walked over there, hand on his gun.  "Excuse me!" he yelled when he saw people.  "I did not need my fence torn down by your explosion!  Fix it, people!  I'm not amused!"

"Who're you?" the man sneered.

"I'm the one who owns this house, fucktard, and I'm the boyfriend of two cops."  They sneered.  "By the way, I already see the marijuana growing.  We know drug dogs.  Keep it away from my house, my pets, my fence.  Am I clear?"

The woman stomped over there.  "Who're you...."  She stared at him, then backed off. "I know you."

He stared at her.  "Oh, yeah, you did Sonny's clothes and shit.  Yay you.  Fix.  My.  Fence.  Keep your shit on your yard.  Do not bother my family.  Do not send the idiot you sent earlier.  He nearly got arrested for threatening me.  I'm having an amused day," he sneered back.  "Am I clear?"  She nodded, backing off.  "Good.  Then fix my fence.  Today!"  He watched her back up further.  "Thank you."  Patrol cars rolled in.  "Guys," he said with a wave at the ones who had just been at his place.  "Not mine.  Really.  I would've been more subtle."  He walked off again.  "No, Spots, inside!" he ordered.  The dogs ran back inside.

"Did you know he's a weapons dealer!" she shouted at the cops, pointing.

One stared at her.  "Yeah, he collects.  The crime lab oversees his stash.  It's so less people kidnap him.  Including his former poker buddies."  She went pale at that.  "I see drugs, ma'am?"  She went paler and backed away.  "Also, it is against state and local law to blow up a house without a permit."  Horatio pulled in and parked, getting out of his hummer and strolling over.  "Lieutenant.  Your nephew is next door, sir."

"I know.  He called to tell me he got there."  He looked at the rubble then at her.  "It's not a very good destruction job."  She shrieked and went for him with her nails.  The officers got her down and cuffed her.  "Is that a marijuana plant?"

"Six, sir," the other officer reported.  "I can see a few more against the fence.  Newly planted with the fertilizer still around them."  He got out of the way.  "We can get K-9 here to search if you want, sir."

"Spots!" he yelled.  Xander came to the door.  "We need a drug hunt, Xander.  Can we borrow that one?"

"Sure.  He's bored with his nap.  He wanted to come bite the bitch.  Who, by the way, sent someone to try to buy *my* house and threatened I had better leave Miami because they know *all* about me.  Fortunately he left before your boys could arrest him."  That got a nod.  "Spots, go hunt!" he called.  "Help the Horatio!"  They ran over, staring at Horatio.  Horatio got their leashes and led them around to hunt for things.  "I'm making that lemon thingy tonight, Horatio.  Officers, do you need coffee or anything?"

"Some water would be nice, Mr. Harris," one said.  Xander grinned and went to get him some.  His partner too.  He looked at the bottle.  "Um, sir, did you know this has needle marks?" he asked.

"No, I just picked up a new box today."  He looked.  "Huh, that is.  Well that fucking sucks."  The officers gaped at him in horror.  He shrugged.  "No one said I grew up privileged, guys.  I've got a good filter again.  Let me get you some ice water."  He went to do that.  Horatio could have the bottles if he wanted.  "Guys, use the filter pitcher for water instead of the bottles," he called as he walked in.  "One of the officers just found a needle mark on one."  He got them a pitcher of ice water and a few plastic cups, taking them over there.  "There you go," he said with a smile.  "Because it's too hot out here today.  We don't want anyone sick.  Then you get pouted at by your bosses."  He walked off.  "Bring them back when you're done, Horatio."

"I will."  They kept going, finding all sorts of things.  He found one on Xander's side in the trees.  "Xander?"  He came to the back door.  "You have pot growing?"

He came over to look then sniff.  "No, it's a magical herb."  He let him sniff it.  "Same family, no THC.  Perfectly legal.  You can test it if you want.  I use it in banishing potions."

"I can do that."  He took a clipping.  "If you're wrong...."

"Then I'll yank it and burn it myself.  You know I don't put up with drugs."  He went back inside to finish his meal for dinner.

Horatio smiled at the officers, who shrugged.  "We heard about the one he shut down," one admitted, sipping his water.  "Sir, are we arresting all of them?"

"Yes."  They went to do that, getting a troop carrier in.  One of the community guards came over.  "Did they have permits?"

"Not through us.  They have to ask our permission before they ask the city's.  It's an automatic rejection if they come in with city permits."  That got a nod.  He pointed at a car.  "That's the guy who threatened Xander earlier, Lieutenant.  I assumed he was working for her."

"Thank you for that warning."  He smiled.

"You might also want to check Ray Junior's muffler.  It's a bit loud."

"We can do that as well."  He let the dogs finish up in the front yard, finding other things.  "Hmm."  He went down on one knee to look then smirked.  "Boys, I need a trowel or something to dig this up."  They went to get one, bringing it and a bag back.  He pulled it out, holding up the necklace.  Plus the bone it was fused to.  "We'll need to set up a crime scene," he told the local guard.  The dogs pawed at another spot, letting him move over there.  "Hmm.  Chopped up."  One of the officers looked sick.  "Take them back to the station please.  I'll call for a crime scene team."  They nodded, doing that.  He called Mac.  "It is me."  He smiled.  "I know you cover Xander's neighborhood.  No, the explosion was his neighbor who was moving into the noise complainer's house.  She demolished it.  They routed me because of the explosion, Mac.  Well, we found multiple drug plants.  We've also found some remains in the front yard.  The dogs are."  He petted them.  "Good boys.  They're still keeping in training, yes.  Could, yes, Mac.  Please.  I found a single vertebrae.  One of the dogs was trying to pull up a finger."  He smiled.  "Excellent. I can wait."  He hung up and took the dogs back, handing them to his nephew.  "Problems?"

"Girlfriend went psycho during lunch in the middle of a conversation.  She's also spreading around that I'm gay, crap in bed, and doing both of you."

"Hmm.  We'll handle that, Ray."

"Oh, I already did.  I heard that and giggled my ass off.  Pointed out I've only had girlfriends.  Xander's a friend and nothing more or else I'd be spoiled rotten by now, and I clearly wasn't.  And that if I was that sick, the rest of the lab and cops would've put us out of our misery.  She was a the daughter of a cop so she agreed with me.  She's helping."

"Good.  Don't let it become violent."

"Sure.  Have a good dig."

"Hmm.  We'll try.  Xander, we'll have a crime scene over there."

"If you need more water let me know."

"I do need to confiscate the rest of that batch."  Xander pointed behind him at the ones on the counter in the box.  He smiled.  "Has anyone drank any?"

"I had one but we all know it's not going to affect me that much."

"Good."  He counted and walked off.  The others were accounted for with the officers' ones earlier.  He walked over to put it into the back of his hummer, finding Ryan there.  "Here, tampered with."

"I heard."  He took it to join the bag in his hummer.  "Heading back to the lab or did you need me?"

"I think Mac and Sheldon can do this one since they cover this neighborhood, Mr. Wolfe."

"Sure."  He smiled and headed off to do that.

Horatio watched Sheldon pull in first.  "Sheldon."

"Horatio."  He shook his hand.  "What did we find?"  He walked him over there to show him.  "Interesting."  He got down to look at the finger, then at the vertebrae and necklace that had been dug up.  He looked at the pile of remains then at him.  "The blew the house?"

"Not very well either.  We got reports from over three blocks away.  They used a bit too much."  Sheldon laughed.  "I figure that's what brought up the remains."

"Could be.  Or all the rains recently."

"Xander did say if you needed it to come over for ice water."

"Sure. Thanks."  He watched him leave, smiling at the guard.  "Go ahead and tape the entry."  He nodded.  "We'll park in the driveway for now.  Unless we have to dig it up too."

"Thank you, sir."  He left to do that.  The remaining officer was taping the gateway for him.  "Cars?"

"I'll be guarding it so I can let them in," he promised with a smile.

"That's fine.  Mr. Harris lives over there," he said with a point.  "He said he'd give out ice water if you needed it."

"It's nice when citizens support us."

The gate guard smiled.  "He's got two lovers in the homicide and crime lab building."

"Oh!" he said, nodding.

"Detective Flack is very generous with us.  Gave us great tips for the holidays."  He went back to the booth to sign in the people coming in and make notes.  His bosses would want to know.  Especially about Mr. Harris having a hissy fit on them for it.

The officer grimaced.  "Flack's gay?" he muttered.  He let in another hummer.  "Sir."

Mac got out to look at him.  "Problems?  I saw the grimace."

"We have gay detectives?"

"And higher," he agreed.  "They're generally very good cops."  He walked inside, mentally shaking his head.  The guy would learn to be more tolerant or move to another city.

***

Xander smiled at Horatio as he came in with the bagged plant sample.  "Was I wrong?"

"No, you're not wrong.  It is on the legal to own and grow list," he promised, handing it back.  "Has DEA come through there yet?"

"Twice now."  He smirked.  "One said something but I showed him in the plant index.  He took a sample too."  That got a nod.  "One of them did mutter about me and weapons but Mac got him calmed down.  He'll be fine.  If they try shit, I'm going to go after him."  He smiled sweetly.  "I made that lemon pudding-y thing."

"I do like that."  He gave him a hug.  "Calm down and let us handle it, Xander."

"Yes, Horatio.  Have you heard anything from Vesvold?"

"No, I haven't."

"Neither have I since before the invasion."

Horatio nodded slowly at that.  "I don't know."

"I was going to sneak out for a while tonight and go ask."

"No, no sneaking.  Take someone with you, Xander."

"Fine."  He hugged him back.  "Where are my boys?"

"Asleep in the break room.  Ryan identified who was tampering with the water.  It's all fine."  He looked at the two new boys.  "Gentlemen.  Horatio Caine.  Ray's uncle."  He shook their hands.

"Sam and Dean Winchester," Dean introduced.  "So, you're not one of his boyfriends?"

"No, he's like my dad," Xander said with a sappy grin.  "He gives me lectures, he nags, he helps me a lot, then he makes me calm down and quit spoiling people."  That got a laugh from Sam.  "Really, he does try."  He looked at Horatio again.  "Are you staying for dinner?"

"I was going to take Ray home while someone looks his car over."

"Yeah, it's a bit loud."

"I think we can have that fixed."  He gave him a squeeze.  "Stay over here tonight.  We'll go ask tomorrow."  Xander nodded, letting him go.  "Though, Speed does want that recipe."

Xander handed it over.  "I wrote it out while I made it."  That got a smile and he left.  He looked at them.  "I made lemony pudding-y stuff with nuts for dinner."

"Sure," Dean agreed.  "Sounds good."

"It does," Sam agreed.  Xander dished them up some, then himself some, heading out to the living room.  "So, how much magic do you do?"

"Small stuff.  Usually I need to store energy for a really good fireball spell.  Now and then I have to pull up a portal spell but I usually try to save up for at least a good month unless it's an emergency.  Backlash hurts like shit."  He ate a bite and hummed.  "I did good."  He turned on the news.  "Sit, guys.  The dogs only bite bad guys who threaten me."

Dean sat down.  "This is really nice."

Xander grinned. "Poker winnings."  Sam snickered at that.  "It was."  He flipped to a different station.  "Hate that one.  She's a nosy bitch and tried to say I'm doing stuff before."  He went back to eating and watching.  "Danny and Don will be home late.  They're napping in the break room."  He frowned at something.  "What the hell?"  He watched as the live feed of agents coming into his neighborhood started.  "Huh."  He called the gate.  "Tell me they're not coming for that single, non-drug plant of mine?"  He rolled his eyes.  "Guys, go upstairs if they're going to bother you," he said as he hung up, getting up to open the door.  "What is your damage?" he demanded.  "I don't do drugs.  Never have.  I helped bust a pipeline when someone gave me some."

"Sir, you have a drug plant," one of them said.

"No, I have a plant in the same family as weed but it's not.  The local lab tested it."  He waved.  "We can go look if you want to."  He blocked the agent coming in.  "Not unless you have a warrant, sparky."  One was held up and Xander looked at it.  "Fine.  Get the press off my lawn."  He looked at him.  "The only weapons here are swords and personal handguns."  He handed it back.  "All registered.  Which do you want to see first?"

"The handguns."

Xander led him into the office, going to get them all for him.  Plus the paperwork.  He put them down.  "That good enough?"

"Sir, that bed of yours is going to have to be taken apart so we can check for hidden areas," one agent said.  "You can comply...."

Horatio stomped in.  "You get out," he ordered.  The agent sneered.  "That is not a legal way to search.  Even for agents."

"You're protecting a suspected drug and arms dealer?" he sneered.

"I don't do drugs, guys.  I loathe drugs.  When someone tried to give me drugs I turned them in and ruined their whole organization.  Also, I don't *deal* arms.  Yes, I do *collect* guns."  They stared.  "For my own personal safety.  Hello, sometimes people want to take my ass.  Boys, down," he ordered.  Both dogs sat down on the couch instead of growling.  "Get the reporter bitch off my lawn," he said calmly.  "Before I ruin you and her career."

The agent laughed.  "You might be cute, sir...."

Xander started to dial the phone but the agent hunt up.  Xander glared at him then did it again.  He tried it again.  "I do have the right to call people on my own phone.  You try to stop me and you'd better come with more than cuffs."  He did it again.  The agent grabbed his wrist.  He glared then let his skin heat.  The agent screamed as he let go.  "I told you not to do that."  He dialed.  "Steve.  I know we have a lawyer somewhere.  Can you please get them to the house so I can start ruining people's lives?  Yes, that's us.  Also, come get the bitch reporter off the lawn before I get her for being a stalker."  He hung up and looked at the other one.  "By the way, you can easily find all the hidden areas on the bed without taking it apart.  Because if you touch that antique and it's hurt, you're rebuilding it."  He led them that way.  "The hidden areas are all pretty easy to find."  He watched that agent check.

"Blood," he announced.

"Yes.  Ferret blood.  Someone stabbed one when they took me hostage.  They also broke my dog's front legs.  George was hiding in there."  He glared back at him.  "Try it," he offered.  "There are ways to test to see if it's animal or human blood." Danny stormed in.  "Can you get them the blood testy pad?"

"Sure."  He pulled one out of his kit.  "Though I do know it's ferret blood.  I can even 4pull up that casefile for you if you want."

"The whole lab protects him?" he asked coldly.

Danny laughed.  "Little boy, Xander can do that so much better."  He looked at him.  "What happened?"

"They found the leafy plant off to the side of the house when the new neighbor blew hers up.  They somehow think that makes me a drug and arms dealer."

"You don't sell your guns.  You collect them, clean them, pet them.  You've never sold them.  Now and then you give a spare one to the labs."  He shook his head.

"Xander, the spare car?" Don called as he walked in.

"Ours," Sam yelled from upstairs.

Don went up to look at them.  "Oh, yeah, from the convention.  Hey, guys.  Don Flack."  He shook their hands.  "What the hell?" he asked with a point.

Dean shrugged.  "We saw it on the news.  Apparently they think he's selling guns and drugs."

"Not Xander.  He helped destroy a major drug pipeline when his poker buddy paid him in drugs."  He went to look at the agent in charge.  "He's the guy that gave us the Millison bust because they paid him in drugs.  He doesn't sell or do drugs."

"We have one positive plant identification," he said cooly.

Don led him out to the plant, pointing.  "Same family, not illegal to own.  Xander does new agey stuff and he uses it in one of the rites.  We made damn sure it's not on the illegal list."

He looked at it, then at the sample.  "You're right.  This isn't the same sample."

"Yeah," he said, pointing.  "I think it came from over there."

Horatio came out.  "I tested a sample of that plant myself," he said, handing over the report.  "The other sample came from the neighbor's house.  She had at least twelve newly planted ones."  The head agent groaned.  "Also, Mr. Harris' weapons are directly under my control.  It is for Xander's own self defense.  Now, I would suggest you get that reporter off the lawn.  Xander is not tolerant of his safety being exposed. He will be expecting an apology."

"Every time someone gives him drugs from a poker debt he handed it in and went after them," Don promised.  "Unless being gay's suddenly against the law you're not going to find jack shit in the house."

"We still have the warrant, detective."

"Really?  Because ya know, the house isn't in that name."  He held it up with a point.  "That's that house," he said with a point at the tree neighbor's house.  "Not this one."  He snatched it back.  "This is number 10, not number 6.  They're also in jail for attempted murder, shooting at cops, and trying to burn us out."

He sighed.  "We're still searching."

"No, that would be an illegal search," Horatio said, snatching the warrant.  He looked it over.  "It is."  He walked out.  "Boys, get the reporter off the lawn," he yelled at the cruiser pulling in.  "They do not have a warrant.  The one they have is not for this address.  The agents are highly mistaken.  There is a restraining order against her coming anywhere near Mr. Harris."  They nodded, hauling her off.  "Danny, remove the agents."  The officers went in to help him with that.  "Xander, their warrant is for the house next door."

"The one that went boom?"

"No, tree lady's," Don said dryly.  The agents all glared at him.  "Wrong addy, boys.  That's illegal as hell."

"You're keeping illegal exotic pets, your dogs are dangerous, and we can still search since we found that," one told him with a cold, cruel sneer.

Xander pulled out a file, holding up the certificate.  "Both dogs are K-9 and guard trained, officially trained and on call for the department's needs.  They were hunting drugs and body parts next door earlier."  He put the certificate back.  Then he held up another letter.  "From the ASPCA.  Someone asked them about my pet dragon.  They said he's not on the illegal list.  That is a *certified* letter stating he is not on the exotic's list.  I asked for one just in case someone got a bright idea."  He put it back.  "You're in the wrong house.  Get out of mine.  Before I sue your agency."

"We'll be back," one promised.

Xander moved closer.  "Really?  You sure of that?"  He stared him down.  "My privacy is very valuable to me.  If I have to bankrupt the family, I will do it to make sure your badge is melted down while you watch.  Now, get out of my house and quit upsetting my friends and family.  Take the reporter bitch with you.  Before I have to get ...creative."  They huffed off.  He stared at Horatio.  "Don't you even think about yelling at me."  He put the folder down.  "I've had enough already today and I'm dealing with it!"  He walked off, going to the back yard to let off a scream of rage, then to do something he should not do.

"No," Dean ordered as he came out.  "Good guys don't do that."

"Good guys don't have to put up with them."  He looked at him.  "Not like I'm calling my former poker buddies for favors."  He looked up again.  "Strife!  I need good ideas?" he called quietly.

Strife appeared.  "That's still a bad guy thing," he said patiently.  Xander gave him an evil thought and he shivered.  "They did what?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah.  Which means the house isn't safe and I'm going to have to move.  Which will not please anyone.  Especially me.  And especially you when you have to listen to me complain for the next ten years."  Strife snickered at that.  "All I want is an idea.  I can pull it off myself," he offered with a grin.  "Please?"

"Let the cops handle it, Xander," he soothed.  "Ares said so."

"No!"  He backed away.  "Hell no!  Not after they did this.  No way in hell!  This is my life they're trying to fuck up and I've had enough!  I know damn well there's a few demons over the DEA locally."  Strife gaped.  "The same as I know one of them was just here."  He walked off, going to think evil thoughts in his study.  Then he got an idea and grabbed something, heading off.  "Be back soon!" he shouted.  He pulled out his calling necklace and blipped off to the DPP plane.  He walked around the one curious looking one.  "Sorry, have to get somewhere," he excused.  "Can't get anywhere else right now.  Miami's occluded."  He looked at one of them.  "By the way, your clan member is an idiot.  You can tell him I said that.  Tell him to watch out for swords."  He disappeared again, heading to the High Council.  He walked in and looked at one, staring at him.  "Your *idiots* just tried to raid my fucking house!  They brought a damn reporter to do it on live tv!  One I have a restraining order against!  Then they tried to break things!  I will *not* have that around myself!  We all know damn well I don't do drugs and I've already had enough!  You warn your bitches they come back and I'm reacting.  I may not be Rosenburg but I'll call hell down on them if they try it again to me."

The councilor swallowed.  "They did what?" he asked calmly.  Xander stared at him.  "They were going for your neighbor, Xander.  The one who blew up her house."

"Their warrant was for tree lady's house and they came to mine.  Tried to menace me.  Tried to keep me from calling my attorney or Steve.  I've had *ENOUGH*!  I don't care if they're just stupid or not.  If they come back I'm letting every fucking thing I can go.  I will *not* have myself endangered that way!"

"If they made a mistake they should apologize," he agreed calmly.

"They did it on live tv!" he shouted.  "She got film of my house!"

"Calm down," he ordered, holding up a hand.  "I will look into it.  If you had asked I would've already been down there."  Xander glared at him.  "I know you're upset."

"I also burned one's wrist," he said dryly, canting his weight differently.  "I do not need this right now."

"You're right.  There's a problem in Miami."

"Duh.  And I'm one of the few hunters down there.  Though, the new students might be of some help."  He got a quick nod at that.  "I tell you what.  You handle this and I won't tell anyone in the family about how ninety percent of the DEA agents around the world are demonic."  That got a shudder.  "Or anyone the family knows."

"I will," he promised, standing up.  "I will handle it.  We will ignore you.  We know you don't do drugs, Xander."

Xander relaxed at that.  "They still violated my life.  If I get blamed for this...."

"You can take appropriate action," he promised.  "They are going to be making a public apology if they're wrong.  Though you do have weapons."

"Not that I sell."

"Good point."   He swallowed, the boy was still in a rage.  "I will look into it."

Xander backed off.  "Let me know?"

"Of course."  He sat down.  "Now, you did interrupt a mourning session for your beloved."

"He died!" he demanded.  They all gaped.  "Why in the hell wasn't I told!" he shouted.

"We thought you knew," one said calmly.

"How would I know?"

"Bound to him?" that one suggested.

"Um, no!  If he had taken me in that way he would've been assassinated.  Even Ares said so."  That got a shudder.  "Who?"

"He was assassinated," the DEA demon said calmly.

Xander stared at him.  "Who?"

"You cannot hope to get them."

Xander snorted.  "Really?"

"They're one of the old ones."

Xander smirked a bit evilly.  "Where am I from?" he asked calmly.  The whole Council shuddered.  "Where are they?"

"Your home."  He pointed at a mirror.  "There."

Xander looked then sneered.  "I'll be right back."  He walked in there and looked at the demon.  "You stupid bastard."  He attacked, throwing a fire spell at the same point his sword was going in, then he grabbed the hellmouth and yanked, hard.  He didn't care if he did just make Willow pass out while grabbing her head.  Or the vampires to all look up then take off running.  He cut that demon, watching it regrow and laugh.  Xander pulled harder, watching the walls shake.  "You have no idea what you've unleashed," he sneered.  He let it all go, letting the magic and power flow through him.  The demon burnt up in the force of the power.  Xander panted, calming himself down.  "Next time, don't touch what's mine or my family."  He looked at the staring demons.  "Anyone else?"  They shook their heads and one started to cry.  "Was there anyone else involved with Vesvold's death?"  They pointed at one.  Xander lifted a hand and fried him too.  One of his clan.  Pity.  He lowered his hand.  "Leave me and mine alone, people.  You're making me *very* unhappy."  He walked back through the mirror and turned, watching it darken.  "Only them?"

"Only them," the DEA demon said, swallowing hard.  "How...."

"I was raised on the hellmouth.  It loves me," he quipped.  "Do we have a direct link back to Miami?"  That got a nod and a mirror opened to his backyard.  "Let me know when the last funeral is?  That way I can come up?"  They all nodded.  "Thank you."  He walked through and knelt, letting his grief and the excess magic flow into the ground.

"Hey," Don called from the back door. "Xander?"  Xander looked at him.  "What happened?"  He came over, pulling him up.  "Why do you smell like heavy incense?  Did you go see Vesvold to complain?"

"No, I went to see the demon over a certain agent I burned to complain.  That's when I found out something had assassinated Vesvold," he said quietly.  Don stared.  "They're gone now."

"How?"

"They were in Sunnydale.  The hellmouth still loves me.  I'm dumping excess energy and grief, Don."  He helped him sit back down, sitting across from him, taking his hand to hold.  "Why take him out?"

"He was well respected and honest.  He was probably in someone's way," Don said gently.  Xander nodded, hanging his head, letting it all go again.  Don shifted closer, taking his other hand.  "Shhh.  We're here, Xander.  It'll be okay.  You can miss friends."  Xander nodded, leaning forward to rest against his shoulder so he could cry on him.  "Shh.  I've got you."  He looked back at the house, nodding Horatio outside since he was watching.  "Someone assassinated Vesvold," he said quietly.  "They're gone."

"The Council?"

"No."  He went back to soothing Xander.  "You did what you had to do to avenge him, babe.  We're not mad.  They were bad guys and you went hunting bad guys.  They wouldn't have been arrested, right?"  Xander shook his head.  "You're sure?"

Detective Mystick, the vampire detective in the DPP, landed and looked at him.  "No.  They were some of the Ancients, they can't be arrested.  They can't be held."  Xander looked at him.  "What did you do?" he demanded.

Xander shrugged.  "They were in Sunnydale.  I used the hellmouth and yanked.  I have a fucking headache."  He went back to dumping the energy, making himself feel better.  He finally sighed and looked at Don.  "I'm told there'll be an investigation into them screwing up so badly since they were supposed to go to the former house instead of tree lady's house or ours."

"Good!  Before I have ta sue."  He gave him another cuddle, letting Xander curl into his lap.  "Shh.  It wasn't bad, Xander.  I promise we're not mad."

"Been there, done that," Danny agreed as he walked out.  He saw Horatio's look.  "Who else is going to avenge immie, Horatio?  The law doesn't."

"Good point," he agreed, stepping back.  He could see why Xander had done it.  He was clearly guilty now.  "I'm not going to say anything but I wouldn't tell the others," he decided.  They nodded and Xander blinked teary eyes at him.  "Sometimes the system needs bounty hunters, even if they do annoy the regular people," he said quietly.  Xander nodded, putting his head back down.  He looked at the vampire detective.  "Anything else we need to know?"

"There's a problem in Miami.  It's going to create a lot of violence soon."

Horatio nodded.  "That happens."  He stroked over Xander's hair.  "Like five years ago?"  The detective nodded.  "We handled it then."  That got a nod and he disappeared.  He helped Don and Xander stand up.  "We're not mad, Xander."  Xander nodded, giving him a tentative hug.  "Shh.  Go inside and clean up.  Relax.  Let us handle some of the problems."  Xander nodded, letting Danny lead him inside.  He looked at the two new students.  "Unique situation," he admitted.

"We're hunters too," Sam told him.  "We've been hunting one that killed our mother and my girlfriend for years."

Horatio nodded.  "Then you understand.  They took out a very good friend of Xander's."  They nodded.  "Rest, boys.  It's going to be a long day tomorrow."  He walked over to his hummer and went to handle the issues they were going to have.  He ran into his boss in his office.  "They were supposed to go to the demolished house?"

"From what I heard, yes.  What did they find?"

"Xander practices Wicca."

"Oh.  So he had some herbs...."  Horatio nodded.  "Anything illegal?"

"Some wormwood.  That one was in the marijuana family but is legal to own and grow.  I checked when I found out.  Who screwed up the samples?"

"I don't know yet.  How is the boy?  I heard he had a problem beyond that?"

Horatio nodded slightly.  "A friend on the High Council died.  He was assassinated."

The guy shuddered.  "I've heard about that recently.  My new mistress."  Horatio nodded.  "And?"

"Xander went to ...handle things after he complained to a demon who was overseeing one of the agents earlier."

"Ah.  Well, that can happen I guess."  He looked outside then at him.  "Stetler?"

"Knows the boy doesn't do drugs.  He helped us bust the three officers who were part of that pipeline, sir."

"Even better.  The reporter?"

"There's still a restraining order as far as I know."

"She's going to protest."

"She was trying to stalk him before."  He gave him a look.  "Even into the building."

"I heard."  He sighed.  "All right.  The mayor wants this to go away, Horatio."

"I would love for the bad and stupid agents to disappear, sir.  Unfortunately my calling prevents me from weeding out the patch in a timely manner.  That's what Rick is for."

"Good point," he said with a smile.  "No pictures of your nephew at least."

"Good.  He was at home but good."  He smirked.  "We had left just before then."  That got a nod.  Rick walked in.  "Evening."

"Harris?"

"Upset.  Very upset.  He also found out a friend was assassinated recently."

"One of you?"

"Vesvold."

"Oh, that guy."  He shook his head.  "The DEA agents?"

"Xander's promised them an interesting end if they try anything.  They also claimed that since they basically broke in and found Hubert, who is still not on the exotic's list, that they could come back."

"No, they can't," Stetler said.  "I do know that they humiliated the agency on national tv."  Horatio moaned.  "And the little statement you gave made sure *everyone* knew he wasn't in trouble."

"I had hopes of that," Horatio admitted.  "The head from DC?"

"On his way down from rumors," his boss said grimly.  "Not happy."

"If they were mine they'd be fired," Horatio assured him.  "The same as they would be if they were regular MDPD officials, sir."

"I know.  Try to keep calm.  It should be fixed soon."

"Xander wanted a public apology, sir," Horatio warned.  "He is not beyond the methods of the courts to get it."

"That would expose his less than savory background," Stetler pointed out.

Horatio smirked.  "We'll have to see, won't we?"

"Oooh, you know something," Rick accused, stepping in and closing the door.  "What?"

"Xander went to complain to the demon over one of the agents.  The one he had to burn I do believe."

Rick whimpered then groaned.  "I'd heard rumors that there were demons in the DEA and ATF.  Damn it!"

Horatio's phone rang.  "Horatio," he answered, listening to the advice.  "I do not believe that's a wise idea, sir."  He hung up.  "The mayor wants us to quit watching his wife take bribes, Chief.  Did you?"

"No.  I want the dirty people out."

Horatio smirked.   "Would you like today's surveillance copy since you're here, sir?"  He handed it over.  "She was meeting with the person who took over the General's pipeline."

He smirked.  "You're enjoying being evil a bit too much, Horatio."

"Xander infected me."

"Ah."  He walked out to watch it in his office, smirking at the clear payoff he could see.  He called in the new DA, letting him watch it.  "The mayor called to threaten Horatio as well."

"Interesting.  That boy earlier?"

"Wrong house.  On national tv.  From what I understand the head people are on their way down to beat people."

"Oooh," he said with a shudder.  "That's gonna be a good rush to the ER."  He rewound it.  "Do we have any other copies?"

"We have daily copies of what they're finding."  He looked at him.  "The originals are being stored somewhere *very* safe.  Horatio and three officers know.  I only know that he knows.  No one knows who the other two are.  I do know that at least two aren't in the lab."  That got a groan.  "We're taking *no* chances."

"Even better."  He ejected the tape.  "Get me a list so I can start the charge sheet.  Don't want to let her slip away too long."  He went back to his office, wondering who else was going to end up implicated.  He might even get to move up to city council after this.

***

Xander looked at the man knocking, glaring at him when the door opened.  "You are?" he demanded.

"I'm the Director of the DEA, Mr. Harris."

"Unless you're here to offer a *public* apology, I don't care."  He looked at him.  "Are you?"

"No, sir."

"Then pity.  I'll get to put my very creative mind to ruining those agents for trying to humiliate me like that."

"May I come in?"

"No, I think your agency has dirtied my house enough."

The man stared at him.  "I'm trying to make amends, sir."

"Leaving the people around me thinking that I do those things means there's no amends.  You can apologize in private.  Doing it in public means it can't happen again."  Hubert came over.  "What?"  He nosed at the agent.  "No.  He's a politician.  Not a thug."  He looked at the older man again.  "Well?"

"They will be losing their badges."

"That still leaves me with the humiliation of having them come here on *live* tv.  That I've since heard got picked up by Headline News."

"Sir, I doubt you want your neighbors to hear what you used to do," he said calmly.

"I don't have neighbors.  They're both in jail right now."  The man swallowed.  "The only one who'll hear you scream is the gate guards."  He nodded at that.  "I am not going to be humiliated that way.  I refuse.  I pay my taxes."

"We've heard about your poker habit, sir."

"I haven't played in quite a while."

"We know about your warehouse."

"For my own protection against things like your puppet master," he agreed.  The man gaped.  He stepped closer.  "I'm the same Harris that used to help the slayer in Sunnydale," he said quietly, staring at him.  "Think I don't need them?  They're under PD oversight."

He started to sweat.  "You...you are?"  Xander nodded.  "Her helper?"  Xander nodded again.  "We had no idea."

"Your puppet master did."

"Um, I wish he had told me.  I will make a statement to the press that they had the wrong house."  Xander relaxed at that.  "I'm very sorry."

"Thank you for that.  Anything else?"

"That certified letter?"

"Is from the older one who just retired, not the younger one.  I've already answered that question when one of my boys asked."

"Your...boys?"

"My boyfriends are both with the department."

"Oh," he said, starting to sweat worse.  "Um, that situation in LA....."

"I was there," he agreed.  "It was some of my stash that brought down the building."

"Good.  Thank you for your help saving the world, Mr. Harris."

"I plan on keeping with that task but I'll be damned if I want to deal with idiots."

"Agreed.  You've been lying to the IRS?"

"They said to estimate my poker winnings.  Not like I counted.  Dude, I hid ten bags in the closet and forgot them for nearly a year.  Someone else handles that stuff."

"I see.  Are you perhaps GHS?  I've heard that rumor."  Xander nodded.  He flushed.  "I see."

Xander smirked.  "Another very good reason for the weapons, huh?"

"Very, sir.  Thank you for your past help and I hope we can count on your future help?"

"Sure.  The next person who pays me in drugs I'll hand over too and let Horatio help me destroy their pipeline this time."  He smirked.  "That was me too."

"That was good work," he admitted.  "Thank you, sir.  Also for the handling of what happened to your friend."

"He was a close friend and made-family," Xander said quietly.  "He didn't deserve that.  Any idea why?"

"He was in the way of a new plan to bring back the ancient ones."

"Anyone tell Buffy yet?"

"We've told Angel."

"That'll work too.  If they need me, they'll yell.  I handle most of Miami's issues."  That got a nod and he stepped back.  "Prosperous hunts," he said in the most common demon tongue.

"You as well, sir," he replied in the same language.  "I'll go make that statement.  Thank you for only singeing that one."

"He tried to keep me from calling my friend to get the lawyer here.  Another one tried to tell me I had to take apart my antique bed so he could look for hiding spots."  He groaned. "Exactly!  You need to hire better people."

"We're working on it, sir."  He left, heading back to his car to get into the back.  His driver drove him off, letting him make notes.  His people were screwed if they touched the kid again.  They had no idea that he was *that* Harris.  The one who had just taken out two Ancients.

Xander closed the door with a sigh, looking at his dragon.  "I'm exhausted."  The dragon nodded at the couch.  "That's a good idea."  He went to lay down and cuddle with him.

Sam came to the door of the living room.  "You okay?"

"Tired.  Politicians suck the energy from me."

"I can understand that.  Thanks for letting us use the garage."

"Not an issue.   Need some help?"

"No, we're doing pretty good.  I had no idea there were so many classes of demons."  He went back to his browsing.  Even Dean was helping study.  Usually he'd be making complaining noises by now.  "Anything on that one?"

Xander walked in.  "Describe it?"  Sam handed over his notes.  He looked then frowned, calling Wesley.  "It's me.  They're going to apologize today, Wes.  Wrong house.  The one who just blew hers up had pot all around it.  Um, Retritvor clan?  Do you have anything?  No, I've got someone here looking for research and it sounds like that.  Fire used as a method of destruction.  Trapped victims.  Yeah, that.  Can you fax it?  Yeah, that's me.  Thanks."  He hung up and handed it back.  "The fax is in the cabinet with the purple glass doors.  Need anything to nibble?  I'm too tired to go shop or anything."

"Nah, we're good, thanks," Dean said.  He looked at him.  "Do you do anything but shop, eat, and cook?"

"Practice when people aren't working hours that'll kill them.  I could work on that dance style with you guys.  It'll help you both."  He grinned.  "We can use the backyard so no nosy reporter types can see over the fence."

"Sure," Dean agreed, going over to get the fax once it started to spit out.  "Close."  He pointed at a line.  "Older than that and mind fucking."

Xander beamed and got into a trunk, pulling out a book.  "Them?"  He nodded at that.  "Same clan, only it's an elder.  Same method of destruction just takes more."

He sat down to read it.  "This is the one we've been hunting."

Xander gave him a hug around the head.  "We all have ones we want to kill," he promised, heading out back to stretch and warm up.  The boys came out forty minutes later.  "Okay, there's technically over sixty hours of the dances.  I can teach you the basic moves and the sword moves, then let you guys learn the rest if you wanted to."

"I heard it was erotic," Sam said.  "How so?"

"I've started spontaneous orgies at a convention a few years back in Las Vegas," Xander said proudly.  They both gaped.  He giggled.  "During the greeting ceremony.  So far only we can do the dance.  I don't know why.  Those of us who're in both groups try.  Don's managed to mix some of the moves into a more normal style of fighting.  Danny can't because he's a normal guy.  Ryan can't and he used to swear at me when I made him come in his pants during sparring."  Dean nodded at that.  "Which one's better?"  Dean raised his hand.  "Okay."  He tossed him a practice blade.  "Come at me."  He lunged slowly.  Xander showed him the counter he had.  Then he moved to teach it to him.  Sam came over to take the practice sword and get into it too.  It was kinda fun teaching these guys this.  He kept going, even letting Dean learn a little bit of the first dance.  He grimaced at it but Xander made him.  "It'll keep you limber for sex," he teased.

"I bet."  He shrugged and got into it with Sam following along.  Sam's leaner, longer body made it look more flowing but Xander moved into a part that spoke of battle and his body liked that a lot.  He panted, stopping, bending down to catch his breath.  He looked at him.  "How did you learn this?"

"Trip with Ryan.  The same place I found Hubert."  He smirked.  "It moves through a whole life's story.  The first one I made you do was his young life.  An unmarried guy, before he had to start his warrior's training.  Then you do the training dance.  There's two battle dances then he gets captured.  They turn him into a sex slave, then he fights his way out once he's basically made his captor love him.  He leads his freed self and the people he works on freeing into battle against their captors and wins, then head home. Then there's a courtship section, a brief marriage one that's only about ten minutes.  He goes back to battle for another three battle ones, one of which we just did, then he's injured.  He moves to teach instead and that finishes it out."

"Wow," Sam said, finally able to catch his breath.  "I'd love to see you go all out, Xander.  The one we saw in LA was great."

"I was watching him for a few before we jumped into the invasion," Dean said, standing up.  His stomach was cramping.  "I'm sore."

Xander grinned.  "You'll be fine.  I promise."

"I know.  I haven't worked out that hard in *years*."

Xander smirked.  "I put them all on training DVD."  Dean smirked at him.  "There's a copy in the study if you wanted to borrow the first few.  As you get into it you find some moves come very naturally.  The counter to a straightforward lunge comes from the first dance, when he's untrained."  He showed him and Dean nodded at that.  "It's just another style.  Plenty of us learn more than one style."

"Sammy looked good doing one.  Maybe we'll use that to get motel money," he teased.

"As long as you're responsible if the orgy breaks out," Xander warned. "I've had it happen a few times.  Including when I was helping trap a gang thug down here with it."  That got a nod.  "I was doing battle scenes and it happened.  So you have to be a bit cautious."

"I can get that," Dean agreed.  "How many other trips have you went on?"

"A few.  They usually try to make Ryan go with me so I don't get into trouble."  He walked them back inside.  "Drinks, guys?"

"Please," Sam agreed, following him.  "We can borrow the DVD's?"

"Sure.  I teach any GHS that asks."  Sam grinned at that.  Xander grimaced.  "I danced for someone who had taken me hostage and got free while he hurt himself trying to relieve the ache.  Sometimes a distraction at the right moment is the best thing in the world."

"It can be," Dean agreed.  He sat on the barstool next to him.  "This game."

"Everyone thinks we're fighting for some prize.  Giles has research saying it won't happen.  It was a demon's prize and he's dead.  Apparently he thought it wasn't going to last past the Roman empire."  He sipped his juice.  "It is supposed to be individual, honorable combat.  That doesn't mean everyone plays by the rules.  Plenty of hunters don't.  Adam doesn't if he's trapped and he thinks they're going to be discovered."  They nodded at that.  "If you're double teamed, I'm all for evening the odds.  I keep it honorable if my opponent does.  I also warn because I'm a berserker," he said quietly.  Sam shuddered at that.  "Exactly.  That's one of the reasons Ryan goes with me."  He looked outside at the darkening sky.  "Interesting."  He walked outside, then around the driveway to the front of the house, finding a mirror opening.  "You do know that the nosy reporter people could see that?" he called.

Willow walked out.  "I put up a shield.  It's not that hard."

"I can't do that."

"I've got an easier way than the technical one.  You can link it to your fence."  Xander waved a hand at the hole.  "It won't matter for the front one, Xander.  What did you do?  You knocked me out, Mister."

"Two of the ones bothering you took out a very close friend.  Someone who was like family to me," he said quietly.  She slumped at that.  "I literally felt the hellmouth welcome me and yanked.  Sorry about that."

"No, it was okay.  The vampires all ran.  Buffy thought we were having a sudden apocalypse."

"No, I only took out the two who did it," he assured her quietly.

She stared at him.  "Even I'd have trouble with that.  What did you do?"

"I channeled it like a wand would."  She groaned.  "The same as I channel other energy now and then."

"That makes more sense.  You okay?"

"Tired.  Minimal backlash.  Not bad."  He looked inside.  "Can you tell where two people were born?"

"Yeah, easily enough."

"Guys?" he called.  They came out of the house.  "These are Sam and Dean.  They're hunters too.  Guys, this is Willow Rosenburg.  Can you tell if Sam's a hellmouth baby?"

She walked closer, staring at him then nodded.  "Yeah, you are.  You've got Sunnydale taint."  She looked at the other one.  "You have Cleveland's hellmouth's taint.  Huh."  She smiled.  "Welcome to the field, guys."

"Being doing it since Sammy was six months old," Dean told her.

"Wow.  Magic stuff?"  He shook his head.  "That's cool.  We use a lot of it in Sunnydale."  She walked back around to Xander.  "I'm sorry."

He looked at her.  "Doesn't make it hurt less."

"I know.  I still want to die with a clear soul."  He nodded at that.  "We're having an apocalypse soon.  Want to help?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, we've got something around here that's going to start upping violent tendencies.  Happens every five years or so."

"Eww.  I hate that demon.  I'll send you what I know."  She looked up.  "Let me get back home.  I am sorry."  He nodded, accepting that.  "Thanks."  She disappeared.

Xander licked his lips as he turned around.  "That was Willow.  That does explain why you both draw demons."  He walked them back to the kitchen.  "Sorry, we keep the front door mostly locked."

"It's probably a good idea," Dean said.  He was considering hard.  "Can we clean it out?"

Xander shrugged.  "I can refer you to the witches I go to when I need help."  Dean nodded that'd be fine so he wrote down their address.  "As long as some psycho arsonist hasn't gotten them they congregate there every afternoon after work for tea and calming down time.  A few work in really hellish offices.  One's a secretary at the FBI."

"Wow.  So a diverse community?"

"Mostly peaceful.  New York had so many it was amazing.  Down here we have a mostly peaceful community.  One demon brothel.  A few witches.  Nothing too hard to handle.  If a new bad guy comes in I usually get a call within his first aggressive act."

Sam smiled.  "New York was that bad?"

"Hmm.  They were plenty of demon brothels up there.  A lot of immies.  A *lot* of immies.  You couldn't go two blocks without hitting one.  I'm told Paris is the same way."  Dean gave him a horrified look. "We're not just here in the US, Dean."

"I didn't even think about that."  He sat down again.  "What happens when we have to switch?"

"That depends on how you go.  If you age out of it, start looking too old and stuff, you can usually change to someone similar but not directly related.  Like you two could open a shop for hunters.  Have a reference room, sell what they needed because you'd *know* about it.  Hell, half the hunters will realize there's something odd anyway.  Too many of us have demon taint from killing something and some can feel us."  He sipped his juice.  "If you die spectacularly, or there's press involved, you'll have to change totally."

"Maybe you'll go to college this time," Sam teased.

"The frat house thing did look fun," Dean admitted.

Xander shrugged. "I sucked in school.  My next one I have a horse farm."  They smiled at that.  He found his wallet and showed them pictures.  "That's Ryan's two warmares, Princess.  Their foals, Duchess and Countess."  He flipped the picture.  "That's my stallion, Pride.  I fell a few times when I got him," he admitted dryly.  They laughed at the joke.  "That's the foal, Furry.  He's becoming a big horse too.  Ray wants him when he's older.  I got out nearly every morning."  He put his wallet back down.  "So that's where we'll be.  It's right outside town.  Danny's going to think about opening a bookstore or something.  Don might do college.  We're not sure yet."

"How do the guys who don't have funds do it?" Dean asked.

"New identity.  Moving cities.  Some hit holy ground for a while or go work for Jace at her resort to stay on holy ground but make a paycheck."  They nodded at that.  "Then again you two have to watch out for demons to steal you and keep you the same way I do.  Did the monsoon guy send you presents already?"  Dean held up something.  "Ah. I know someone who can handle those if they're real.  He deals with mine now and then."  Sam gaped.  Xander led them back to the safe in the office, opening the box of presents.  "Vesvold gave me that for my last birthday," he said, stroking over it.  It was a platinum necklace dusted with diamond dust.  Very subtle but he looked good in it.  He put it back.  "The monsoon guy did a shower of rubies once.  It did not amuse Horatio since we had just moved down here and were having a 'welcome to Miami' dinner with most of the lab."

"Wow," Dean said, staring hard.  "What do you do with them?"

"Save," he said dryly.  "You'll need it.  Danny said to save your old movies and stuff.  They'll become precious some year soon too."

"No, I like my music too much to sell it," Dean told him.

"That's why you save it down in a format that can't be ruined," Xander said, holding up his ipod.  Dean snickered at that.  "I've even fought with the thing.  Kept my mind out of the gutter when I was backed up."  He put it back down, walking them back to the kitchen.  "What am I making for dinner?"

"What do you feel like making?" Sam asked.

"I don't know.  Anything you guys want for leftovers tomorrow?"

Dean snickered.  "We've been eating at roadside diners so long we're just happy there's no smelly cook we have to worry about the hygiene of, Xander."   He sat down again after getting himself some more juice.  "Do all level tens live like this?"

"No.  Most of them believe in the fortress version of safety.  They have security wandering around. They have their keepers.  Some of the guards sub in when their keepers are too tired or during a surge.  They have things they can do all day but I'm missing out on some of that.  I do some leather work for pants and stuff.  I crochet.  I read now and then.  I spend a lot of time bored, even when I'm working on wood stuff."  He got himself some more juice, topping up Sam's glass too since it was the last of the pitcher.  He put it into the sink and looked out the window at the shiny thing.  "Down!"  They ducked right when the back window was shot out.  Xander called it in.  "Horatio, someone shot through the kitchen window."  He hung up and glanced then sighed.  "I don't know who that is but they're now on my shit list."  The guy had a sword and he was coming their way.  He felt the quickening buzz.  He looked at Sam.  "I told you it got a bit better."

"Annoying but not painful."  He grabbed his sword, handed Dean his, and Xander took his outside.  "Xander, be careful."

"Of course!" he said cheerfully.  "You needed to shoot out my kitchen window?"

"I saw you on the news," he sneered.

Xander shrugged.  "They had the wrong house.  They wanted the people next door who actually had drugs."  He pointed at the ruined house.  "She blew it hours before they got there.  I don't do drugs.  I helped end a drug pipeline with my boyfriends, who're cops."

The guy gave him an odd look.  "You're not...You're not evil?"

"No.  I'm a nice guy.  I'm only evil when you fuck with me."  He pointed at his window.  "Like that."

"I was going to make it easier on myself to take out the evil one."

Xander shrugged. "No evil here but I'd run before the boyfriends get home."  He nodded, running off.  He walked back inside shaking his head.  "That's just strange."  Ryan stomped in after parking.  "The immie who shot the window wanted to shoot me to make it easier to take my head because he thought I was a bad guy."

Ryan gave him a confused look.  "What?" he demanded.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  We talked and he headed off before someone got here to arrest his tiny butt.  Really skinny guy.  Even skinnier than Adam's Ray."

Ryan shook his head quickly.  "What happened?

"What he said," Dean agreed.

Sam nodded.  "The guy shot through the window.  He came out of the back woods with a rifle and his sword.  Xander went out to meet him.  Xander told him the guys from the DEA had the wrong house.  The guy said he was here to take out the evil thing. They talked and he left."

Ryan called Horatio.  "The guy who shot out the window wanted to take his head thanks to the DEA broadcast, H.  No, he's fine.  He walked away when he found out the DEA had been at the wrong house.  Yeah, that's what it was.  Take him out then take his head while he was down.  Xander said a tiny guy.  Got a name?"  Xander shook his head.  "Nope.  He said he was skinnier than Ray Kowalski."  He shrugged.  "Not a clue but apparently not a real issue.  Thanks, H."  He hung up.  "Good idea to call him instead of dispatch."  He gave him a hug.  "Be a good boy.  Make seafood tonight so I can come snatch some for lunch tomorrow?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Thanks for helping him, guys."  He left, going back to the lab still wondering about the new immie in town.  Some people just weren't right.

Xander looked in the freezer.  "Want to go to the grocery store?  I'm out of ice cream and we have *no* seafood."

"Sure," Sam decided.  "We can follow you in the 'vette."

Xander beamed.  "We can take the SUV.  They'll worry less and it's bulletproof."  That got a nod from Dean, but also a slight smirk.  "It's good.  It saves my ass now and then.  Even if it does guzzle gas."  He grabbed the keys and his wallet, heading in to get cash from the safe.  Then they headed out to ungarage the SUV.  They played rock/paper/scissors for the front seat.  "The other one can ride in the back on the way home."

Dean got into the back.  "I've never...." he said, staring around.  "You can live in here if you had a shower!"

Xander put down the privacy barrier.  "The back seat pulls out for a bed.  The tv has a DVD player and a playstation hooked up."

"This is sweet!  And soft!  Very soft," he said, running a hand over the seat.  "I imagine the president has things like this."

"No, he has a normal limo without a tv.   That way people can brief him on the way to things without him being distracted."  He backed out of the garage once his cameras were on, heading out through the gate.  He paused by the community gates. "Heading to the grocery store."  The guard frowned at him.  "It still wasn't me they were after."

"I know.  What happened with Wolfe?"

"Someone accidentally shot through my kitchen window.  I'll get a new one while I'm out."  He grinned.  "Why are you guys mad at me?"

"The FBI called our boss to nose around about you," the other guard told him, shrugging a bit.  "He laughed at them.  Told them you were slutty, happy, and you cooked a lot.  They walked off grumbling."

"They still had the wrong house.  He's making an announcement of that fact."

"Saw it.  It was nice of him," the other guard agreed. "Are you going to move again?  I know you moved from your last place when it got violated."

"We have a safe place to stay in case it becomes critical but I like the house.  It's my nest."  They nodded.  "Think I can get the other lot cheaply since she tore down the house?"  He grinned.

"DEA seized it.  It's possible," the first guard said dryly.  "Grocery store and Home Depot, Mr. Harris?"

"Probably.  Maybe some ice cream from the good place too.  They can call.  I've got the car phone."  That got a nod.  "I've got Sam and Dean with me so don't worry so much."

"Yes, sir.  As long as you don't get us invaded again."

Xander gave him a look.  "They come back and I'm blowing them up," he said dryly, earning a cackle from one guard and a horrified look from the other one.  "I did learn stuff from the poker buddies."  That got a cackle from him.  "See, happier.  I'm a good boy.  Later, guys."  He headed out, going to the good grocery store.  "I hate it when they pout at me.  Makes me miserable," he told them.

Dean was lounging on the back seat, very comfortable.  "You're a nice guy, Xander.  That's why it makes you miserable."

"I know.  Comfy?"

"Very.  If I didn't love my Impala and think of it as a member of the family I'd jack you for this tank and take it on the road instead.  Can you store weapons in here?"

"There's a few spare guns in the trunk in an emergency compartment," he admitted.  "All registered, just in case."

Sam laughed.  "You do that a lot."

"Don would freak," he admitted.  He signaled and turned onto another street, wincing at the lights coming on.  "What now?" he muttered.  He reached past Sam to get into the glove box, then sat up, pulling down his visor to block out the sun.  He rolled down his window.  "Yes, Officer?"

"Mr. Harris," he said dryly.  "Why are you driving your assault vehicle?"

He frowned.  "It's a Range Rover, not a Hummer.  They're assault vehicles.  Range Rovers you take on foreign expeditions to find neat things around the world."

"Uh-huh.  Why are you out today, sir?"

"Groceries.  Ryan wanted me to make seafood.  Plus I have to replace a window."

"You do know that we're watching you, young man?" he asked.

"They had the wrong house!  They even apologized on the news."

"Uh-huh.  Your passengers?"

"Friends.  I am allowed to have friends outside the PD," he said patiently.  "Why did you pull me over?  I know I signaled.  I wasn't speeding.  What did I do wrong?"

"Your tag and sticker are expired."

"Can't be.  I just put on new tags."  He got out to look. "No, that's next year."  He walked around to look at the inspection sticker.  "That one I'll give you.  I've had it in the garage for the last month so I didn't realize.  I'll have it done today if you want."  The officer nodded, writing him out the ticket.  "The tags aren't expired."  He pointed.  "See, that's next year's."

"Wrong color, sir."

"No, this is still a personal vehicle.  It doesn't work.  Horatio borrows it now and then for the PD to escort someone around but it doesn't work."

"It's not a commercial vehicle?"

"No.  It's a private one."  He got the registration for him.  "See?  The box is checked and I told them now and then a friend borrows it for that stuff.  They said as long as I didn't make money it was still a private vehicle."

He took the ticket to amend it, handing it back after initialing it.  "Fine.  Get it inspected today, Mr. Harris."

"Yes, Officer."  He waved as he walked off.  "Cranky," he muttered under his breath, going back to get in and drive.  "So we have another stop to make."  He dialed the family's garage.  "Julio, it's Xander Harris.  Apparently my sticker's expired.  Do you guys do inspections?"  He smiled. "That'll work.  Thanks.  Heading your way first."  He drove that way, making sure he was doing it by the book since he was being watched so much.  He pulled into the garage, letting the mechanic take the fee and look things over.

"This modification to the gas tanks?" he asked.

"So no one can shoot them like they do in the movies.  That's why there's an extra bulletproof panel around it too."

He nodded, finishing his inspection with the lights.  "We have one starting to blink."

"We can help him fix that if we know what size it is," Sam offered.

"It's got plating all around it," Xander told him.  "Can I wait to fix it until after tonight?"  That got a nod.  "Can I have my new sticker?"  Julio laughed, signing the form and giving it to him.  "Thanks, Julio.  Next week?"

"Is fine, Xander.  Good job on getting them to recant."

"They shouldn't have brought the press anyway."  He grinned.  "Thanks, man."  He got in and headed down to the payment station, leaning down to hand over the ticket and payment, plus proof of the new sticker.  "I forgot.  I'm evil that way."

She gave him a look.  "Many people do, sir."  She handed him the receipt.  "Thank you for the prompt payment, Mr. Harris."

"You're welcome.  I try so hard to be good," he offered with an impish grin.  She laughed and he pulled off, heading for the grocery store.  "I'd let you guys help but to even get into the engine compartment you need special tools to open the plating.  I can't even add oil without them."  Sam groaned.  "I needed that since someone once connected my ignition switch to the battery on me while I was getting some macadamia nut brittle."  He parked at the grocery store, weathering the unhappy looks at his SUV.  "I need it," he told one who was scowling.  "I have fuel conservation technology on it.  I get nearly thirty miles a gallon.  It's fantastic and better than some sedans and minivans."  She huffed off.  He walked inside shaking his head, letting Dean hand him back his wallet.  "Thanks.  It keeps trying to live on its own."

"They do that now and then," Dean agreed dryly, following him around to pick up a few things.  "Potatoes?"

"I make a great cheesy potato dish and nearly everyone likes it in the family."  He grinned.  "It's fattening and cheesy and good."  Sam smiled at that.  "You probably won't have any leftover, even if the boys don't come home tonight."  He headed back to seafood once he had the cheese and sour cream, looking at what they had.  "Hi, Mark."

"Mr. Harris.  You all right?  I saw they said they were dumb."

Xander nodded.  "It was nice they apologized."  He grinned.  "Maybe they heard the rumors about what happened when people made me pout."  The guy laughed.  "Ryan wanted seafood."

"We have some beautiful scallops."

"I have no idea what to do with them.  I know how to do tuna and other fishies on the grill plate."

He smiled, pointing at a card.  "That's the recipe of the week.  It's good for shrimp or scallops, anything delicate that way."  Xander got it to look at then at him.  "Or you could make seafood gumbo."

"It's probably going to be a late night for the boys.  Give me the stuff for both.  Whatever I don't make tonight I'll make tomorrow."  He nodded, walking off to get some stuff from his freezer.  "What do you put in gumbo?"

"Gumbo's for, basically, the last little bits of food.  It's a this and that dish," Sam told him.  "You could probably put nearly anything in there."

Mark came back.  "We have some squid too, Mr. Harris.  Want that?  It's on sale."  Dean shuddered. "Cooked right it's wonderful, young man."

"Just the thought of the tentacles," he said with another shudder.  That got a smile.

"Danny said they had people in New York who ate them raw," Xander said with a look at him.  "They had batter covered bugs, all sorts of things."

"Eww," Dean said, walking off shuddering.  "Going to stare at the ice cream."

"Sure."  He looked at him.  "I usually feed him leftovers for lunch."

"I'll leave out the squid then," he promised with a smile, going back to gathering the stuff together.  He stuck the fee sticker on it and brought it out.  "This one is for the gumbo."  He handed over a second one. "That is three pounds of scallops.  Should feed most of the family."

"Thank you," he said cheerfully.  "Milk?"

"Tomatoes.  Think chili with stuff."  That got a nod and Xander went to get his usual stuff for chili, plus pick up Dean from the ice cream.

Sam pointed at something.  "I know that can go in there."  He picked up the brown sugar as well.  Dean came back with six half-gallons.  "Got the nibbles?"

"No!"  He swatted him.  "Ice cream is good."

"I need more stuff to make brownies too," Xander said, heading to do that and pick up eggs since he knew he was out.  He had been at breakfast.  Some bagels from the bakery, some milk, and they left, heading to Home Depot for the window.  He walked in and found his usual guy.  "Broken kitchen window and I have ice cream in the car."

He laughed, leading him back there to find what he needed.  "Delivery?"

"I have the SUV.  I can put it behind the groceries."  That got a nod and he checked out with it, taking it out to the SUV so they could go home.  The drive home wasn't too bad and Dean was playing with the radio's remote to find a decent station.  They pulled in and parked, them helping carry in stuff.  Xander looked at the window.  "I'll do you in the morning."  He looked at the recipe then shrugged.  "Gumbo?"  They nodded.  Xander went to find the recipe in his favorite online cookbook, printing it to bring it back.  They even helped some.  Sam knew how to do things to the seafood.

***

Xander walked the pot into the station, looking at the receptionist.  "Their desks ate them again, didn't they?"  She nodded, signing him in.  "Gumbo?"

"No thanks.  I had dinner, Xander."

"Sure."  He walked it up to the detective's squad, getting a few fond looks.  "Seafood gumbo?"  Frank and Ray both got bowls.  Frank also put one down beside Don because he was absorbed in something.  Xander kissed him on the head, getting a hum of pleasure. "Eat."  Don took a bite then looked at it before staring at him.  "New recipe.  Like it?"

"What is it?"

"Seafood gumbo."

"Not bad," he decided.  "Wondering why it was fishy."

"Ryan wanted seafood."  He carried it to the lab's breakroom, paging Speed since he knew he was there.  He leaned in.  "Gumbo?"

"Gumbo?"

"Yeah.  Seafood gumbo.  Ryan wanted seafood.  It's a new recipe."

"Okay."  He came in to get himself some and Horatio some.  Then he paged the others once he had taken a bite.  "Spicy but good."  He walked out, handing Horatio his in the hallway.  "Eat."

"What is it?"

"Seafood gumbo."

Calleigh squealed and ran to get some.  "You made my people's food?"  Xander let her have a taste.  "Not bad for a first try, Xander.  A bit less cayenne than my mother used but good job."  She got a huge bowl and walked off to eat in private.

Ryan grinned.  "Good choice for seafood."  He got his and got one for Eric.  "Thanks, Xander."  Xander nodded. "Feeding the others?"

"Dean can have the rest tomorrow."  He grinned and Xander walked out, letting one of the favored patrol guys stop him to get some.  "Seafood."

"Shrimp?"

"No.  They didn't have any."

"Good."  He dug out a bowlful for himself and walked off eating.  "Good job, Xander."

"Thank you!"  He headed back to the corvette, putting the pot in front of the seat before getting in and heading back home.  The boys were still there researching.  "Their desks ate them again.  Everyone liked it.  Even Calleigh and she's from bayou country."  They came in to get their own bowls and eat with Xander while watching the news.  It was a good research break.

Dean pointed with his spoon.  "This is good, Xander."  He got up to get seconds, sitting down beside Sam again.  "Maybe you should open a restaurant."

"Too much headache from all the stress," he admitted.  "There's bread in the fridge," he told Sam when he scraped his bowl.  He went to get some, bringing some back for Dean too.  "Bad?  That's the whole grain stuff."

"The white bread was blue," Sam told him.

"Hmm.  Okay.  Should've seen that earlier."

"The wrapper's covering it."  He sat down to clean up the second helping, watching Dean go for thirds.  "Thanks for feeding us."

Xander grinned.  "I'm good at fussing.  I had to learn from Aiden, Stella, Danny, and Speed, plus a bit from Alexx, but I'm good at it.  It makes others happier and happier is always nicer in the world."

"Good point."  He patted him on the arm.  "You're a very special guy."  Xander beamed and went back to his dinner.  "Eat more than that or else you can't wear your boys out."

"I doubt they'll do more than walk in and collapse tonight."  He watched the bust go down earlier in the day.  "Huh, they finally got the mayor's wife and all the people she was taking bribes for.  There's going to be some political sharks soon."

Danny strolled in, giving him a kiss.  "We love your cooking fingers."  Xander beamed.  "Bring lunch tomorrow?"

"If you want.  What did you want?"

"Don't care.  Something."  Xander nodded.  "Evening, guys.  How's the research and training going?"

"Good.  We learned new moves," Dean promised.

"The research is going excellently, Danny.  We've found the right clan so now all we need to do is to find the sucker."  Danny grinned at that.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine.  Long day."  He sat down next to Xander, pulling him over to cuddle.

Xander looked at him then sniffed him.  "Who're you and what did you do with my Danny?  He doesn't cuddle that much."  The demon faded out.  He sniffed.  "Incubus," he sighed, sitting up again.  "Maybe I'll have the house blessed to take out the unholy taint the DEA agent left."

"Could be the broken window," Dean offered.  "Or Rosenburg's thing from earlier."

"True, could be."  He got up and went to find his hammer so he could pry up the nails for the old window.   It needed to be fixed.

Dean and Sam shared a look, going to help him.  It was the least they could do.  Xander spoiled them rotten.

***

Dean looked up from his sword practice a few days later, watching Sam look around.  "What's up?"

"Another one," he said, frowning slightly.  A car pulled into the driveway and they stared, watching Xander come out with a sword.  "Xander?"

"I doubt it's much trouble," he said grimly.  The man got out and he stared.  "Hey, Richie.  What's up?  Guys, he's usually a friend."

"I'm a messenger this time.  I can't find Methos."

"He's ....  Hmm."  He walked inside, calling him.  "It's me.  Richie's here looking for you. He said he's a messenger."  He looked at him.  "Of doom or good news?"

"Doom."  He took the phone.  "Hey, Old Man.  Yes, of doom.  Sanctuary was breeched."  He listened to the calm, quiet voice as it gave orders.  "Connor was delivered Mac.  He's seemingly sane but he wanted to apologize to you.  DC.  Up to you.  I only said I'd pass on the message while I got out of dodge."  He smiled at Xander.  "I can do that too.  Two young guys."

"The ones from the convention," Sam told him.

"The guys from the convention one said," Richie told him.  "Sure."  He hung up.  "Stay with Xander, guys.  If Macleod gets free and he's not fully sane he'll come after Xander again."

"I don't want his quickening, I might go insane too," Xander said grimly.

"I know."  He grinned.  "We heard about that one guy you walked away from for being insane and what happened."

"He swung into his sword, Richie.  It was creepy!  He tarzan'd himself to death."

Richie smiled.  "Made some Watchers creeped out too, Xander.  Danny and them?"

"Work.  Like usual."

"Okay.  Let them know."  He gave him a short hug.  "Cute hair.  It's longer than the last time I saw it."  He walked off, heading to find a motel for the night.  He could use some nice club and girl action.  Learning from Connor was driving him insane.

Xander shook his head.  "Insane ones and ones who're too evil can both taint you," he told them.  "You really want to stay away from both of them unless absolutely necessary."  They nodded at that.  "Let's go back to sword work, guys."  They got drinks and went back to it.  They were coming along pretty well now.  Each one had a different part of the dance that spoke to him.  They worked well together, or back-to-back, and apart.  Dean's more aggressive style suited his mouth.  Sam's more flowing style was good for him.  He smiled when Dean nearly beat him on their second sparring match.  "Good job," he praised, stepping back.  Dean grinned.  "You've come a long way, Dean."

"I have," he agreed.  "Swords never felt really comfortable to me before."

Xander smiled.  "I know.  They don't to me either.  Well, the katana does but not most swords.  The grips feel wrong and the balance is off."  He looked at Sam.  "You do good with longer swords."

"I guess we each have a weapon we prefer," Sam agreed.

"Yes, but the next step is to let you work with other types of weapons," Xander reminded him.  They nodded.  He walked inside, going to the weapons cabinet on the third floor.  He stared, then brought out his spare katana for Sam and his battle axe for Dean.  He ran a hand over it.  "You've missed working out, baby.  I know," he whispered.  He walked them downstairs with another longer sword for Sam.  He handed Sam the two swords, getting a nod as he took practice swings with them.  He looked at his battle axe then at Dean.  "She served me well in Sunnydale.  She's a pain in the ass to keep an edge on.  She's chopped a lot of vamps into bits and demons."  He handed her over.

Dean took it to look over.  "Silver plated?"

"Over iron," he agreed.  "Made specially for a Watcher way back when.  It came down Giles' lines and he didn't want it.  It became my weapon in Sunnydale when I had a choice."  He stared at him.  Dean nodded, moving off a bit to take a few practice swings.  Xander followed to take it back and show him a kata.  Dean took it back and got into it.  Xander picked up his katana and lunged, letting Dean block him with the handle.  It was on between them and Dean was smirking evilly when he felt it click perfectly.  Xander backed off and bowed.  "She's missed slaying and patrols."

"I can see why.  I'll treat her like the old lady she is," he promised.

Xander smiled.  "Good.  It'll be a long time before I go hunting demons again."  He looked at Sam, who was weighing the longer sword.  He lunged at him and Sam tried to move back.  "Use the sword, Sam."  He tried but it was a struggle.  "Too heavy?"

"Too long."  He jogged inside and up the stairs, coming out with a sword he had been playing around with a few times.  He came back down and Xander gave him an odd look.  "Someone's?"

"One I kept refusing because it came with a destiny.  It should go to a slayer."

"Really?  What sort?"

"To lead demons to their death."  Sam gaped at him.  He shrugged.  "It does."

"They consider him the Anti-Christ," Dean told him.

"Then maybe it'll work," Xander said dryly.  He shrugged.  "Okay."  He lunged again and Sam fought him off this time, making him nod when they came out near a tie.  "Good job.  It's yours."  Sam beamed.  "Try the katana too.  It's a fairly common weapon."

Sam picked it up.  "I know there's special ways of cutting with them."  Xander moved to parallel him to show him how to use the katana.  Sam moved slowly, following along.  Dean came over to take it from him and learn it too.  Xander let him have his for now - he only had the two in the house.

Don parked and got out, walking over.  "Looking good, guys."  He watched them move.  "Are they ready to go against Danny and Ryan?"

"Eric and Danny.  We'll leave Ryan as a final exam," Xander told him.  "We're working on diversifying weapons now that we've found what they like."  Don nodded, giving him a kiss.  "Mac's out of Sanctuary," he said quietly.

"Our Mac called about that.  He said to calm down.  He's with Connor."

"Who I don't trust."

"I know."  He smiled, stroking his boy's cheek gently.  "It'll be okay, Xander."  He nodded.  He picked up the longer sword, weighing it.  "I could use the diversifying lectures too.  I keep having to skip practice for work."  He lunged at Sam, who was pretty good.  He beat him.  Dean stepped in and beat him too.  He nodded, stepping back.  "I really do have to practice more."

Xander looked at him and nodded.  "Ya think?"  He took a quick kiss.  "Think what'll happen if someone takes your head."  He took his katana back.  "Guys, go bond with your weapons.  I've got snuggly time since he's home early."  They laughed, taking the unneeded ones back to the practice area then theirs home.  Don pointed at Dean, looking at Xander.  "She missed going on patrols.  She's good with him.  It clicked like it did for me," he said quietly, snuggling against his chest.  "She needs to be with a hunter."  They waved as the boys backed down the driveway.  He looked at Dona again.  "Can we search the house for bugs?  I swear I felt one in the study."

"Sure, we'll do that then cuddle," he agreed, going inside to find the bug searching tool.  It would beep when they found one.

***

Don walked in the next morning looking smug, well rested, and content.  He handed Frank a small handful of metal.  "Pity but they shouldn't be in our house."  He went to his desk and sat down to get involved in his last case again.

Frank looked at them then at him.  "Any idea if they were PD issue?" he asked since they had been stomped on.  Taking the 'bug' name a bit too far in his mind.

"You can still see the serial numbers."  He looked at him.  "Not like I can find out who put bugs in my own house, Frank."

"Good point."  He got up and took them to Horatio in the lab.  He handed them over.  "From Flack."

He looked at one.  "Someone stomped the bugs," he said with a small smirk.  "Where were they found?"

"In the boys' house."

"I see."  He took them off, letting Ryan have them.  "Find out who had these."

Ryan looked then at him.  "I stomped them when I came over for dinner last night, H."

"Then I'll let Calleigh do it."

Ryan smirked.  "She has on her evil outfit."

"I saw that."  He took them to her, handing them over once he had pulled her hand out flat.  "Flack and Wolfe found them in Xander's house."

"Hmm."  She took them to the magnifying lamp so she could find the serial numbers.  "Who stomped on them?"

"Ryan."  He smiled at her.  "He suggested you would be more than happy to find whoever did this for us."

"Oh, I can go evil and I'm sure he called my skirt evil again," she said dryly, getting back to her hunting and searching.  They all came up to one agency.  "ATF," she said dryly, taking the printouts and the bag of bugs with her.  She knew just the agent to talk to.  The evil skirt was a good choice this morning.  She walked into their part of the federal building, smiling at the receptionist when she signed in.  "Is he here?"

"He is, CSI Duquesne.  Should I warn him?"

"Oh, no, it's not a necessary thing," she said with a sweet smile.  She walked back that way, then paused in front of the door and kicked it in before walking in.  "Good morning."  The head of the local ATF branch gave her a horrified look.  She put down the bag, then the printed memos.  "Tell me you leant those little insects?"

He looked then shook his head, calling them up.  "Those two boys...."

She held up a hand.  "They're just like Xander," she said quietly.  He went pale.  "Only about half the strength.  They're learning from him."  He pulled up the file to let her see.  She closed the door with a kick backward and leaned over the desk.  "You do know what Xander *used* to do?  Back in Sunnydale?"

He let out a small whimper.  "Unfortunately I've heard and seen.  Why?"

"They do the same thing only they travel to do it.  Not like it's a well paying job," she said quietly.  "Though I will warn Xander about that.  I'm sure he realized it by now."

He shivered.  "I can see that happening, Calleigh.  What about his weapons?"

"They're under Horatio's control; you know that."  He shuddered but nodded.  "Now, I do expect not to have to talk to any of your agents about Mr. Harris again, unless he has to pull out something to save the rest of us like they did in LA before the convention."  She stared into his eyes.  "He only does it when it's necessary that way.  The boys are more gun freaks than anything else."  He nodded quickly, crossing his legs.  "Aww, am I scaring you?"

"Yup."

"Poor baby," she cooed, patting him on the cheek.  "Anything else that needs cleared up?"

"No, Calleigh.  Can we get a list and serial numbers on what Harris has?"

"You can ask Horatio if you want."  He nodded quickly, one hand drifting down to cover the part she was clearly wanting to kick in.  "Good boy.  Any other questions?"

"No, ma'am."

She smiled.  "Such a polite agent.  More should be polite like you.  They're lacking all too often. Then they come in and piss Horatio off too."  She turned around and opened the door, smiling at the agents standing there.  "Morning, boys."  They backed away, making a nice corridor.  "Aww, even Alexx would praise the manners. Good boys."  She walked off, heading back to the crime lab hummer.

"Boys," the head agent called.  They walked into his office. "Leave Harris and the Winchester boys alone.  The two brothers do what Harris used to do in Sunnydale and what they just recently did in LA.  They're learning from Harris.  Even the bad things like the credit card scams.  Let the lab handle it.  They're Harris' proteges."

"I guess that's why one of them has his favorite axe from Sunnydale?" one asked.  The boss shuddered at that.  "Okay.  The bugs?"  He held up the bag.  "Hmm.  We heard the crunch and the feedback.  Wolfe cracked them."

"I'll talk to Horatio about that.  For now, leave them alone."   They nodded, heading back to their desks.  He calmed himself then went to find Caine.  He found him on a scene after asking Dispatch.  He walked up to him.  "I think Duquesne needs a vacation.  She scared my boys."

Horatio gave him a look over the top of his sunglasses.  "Your agents were scared of a five- foot-six blonde in high heels and a skirt?"

"After she kicked in my door, yes.  With her weapons skills, yes."

He smiled. "I'll let her know.  It'll make her day."  He turned to look at him.  "What's wrong?"

"We'll leave Harris and the Winchesters alone.  I understand that the Winchester boys are in the same business?"

"Their father trained them from a very young age," he agreed.  "They're taking extended training with Xander."

"Fine.  I don't care.  Warn them about the credit card scams for motel money.  See if Harris will give them a loan.  Whatever.  We'll leave them alone as long as they're not actively doing anything in Miami.  In return I want a list of what he has and any serial numbers so we can use them to track back to former owners."

Horatio stepped closer.  "You heard what happened at the bazaar?" he asked quietly.  The man moaned but nodded.  "That was also Xander.  Most of what he has now are presents.  If we catch them selling to anyone else we do arrest them."

"Good!  I like that.  Can we still get an index?"

"Of course.  I'll let the boys do it.  Credit card scams?"

"Motel money probably.  They've hit about forty-seven states in the last ten years we could track them."

Horatio nodded. "I'll talk with Xander and them about that."  That got a nod.  "I'll ask Xander if he'd feel comfortable.  I know, basically, what's in there but he's been weeding it down again."

"That's fine," he agreed, stepping back.  "Anything you need destroyed, tell us."

"Of course."

"Thank you for your cooperation.  Tell Wolfe to simply hand them over.  Not to stomp on the bugs next time.  They're expensive."

"It was invasive and I doubt you had a warrant," Horatio reminded him patiently.

"The boys said they had one.  Not real sure.  I'll check on that."  Horatio nodded. "Thank you, Caine.  Oh, tell the boys good work in LA.  I was in San Diego and saw."  He left again, going back to talk to those agents.

Horatio went to find his 'son' and his students, finding them in the a/c at the house.  He walked in and smiled at Xander.  "The ATF lead agent locally said he'll leave you alone.  Calleigh was very persuasive."  Xander grinned at that.  "They'll look into having a valid warrant or not.  They did want a favor in return."  Xander nodded, sipping his tea.  "They wanted an index list.   As would I really."

"I've been working on it, just not this last two weeks, Horatio.  I'll get back to it this afternoon."

"Thank you, Xander.  Let the boys help you."  That got a nod.  "Let me talk to them for a minute?"

"They're in the study."

"Thank you.  Comfy?"

"No, but I screwed my back again.  Slipped and fell in the bathtub when they came in."

"You'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine."  Horatio nodded, heading into the study.  He grinned.  "I'm always fine.  Of course I'll be fine."  He went back to his cooking show.  He needed something new to make for dinner.

Horatio closed the study door, looking at them.  "I have just gotten done talking to an ATF agent."

Dean looked at him.  "About?"

"Your traveling."  He walked over, sitting down at the clear arm of the 'z' shaped table.  They were in the elbows.  "I know how hunting the way you boys do is a very...low paying job."  Dean nodded.  "I have heard how you make money for your hunt.  The ATF was not pleased but they will ignore it in Miami as long as you are here studying with Xander and not doing it at the moment."

"I've been hustling pool for motel money.  I know that Xander's entire family is cops," Dean promised.

"Good.  It was suggested a more legal and profitable method should be found sometime soon.  After all, you can't live on that forever and the companies are tightening security more every year.  Plus you'll both have a very long time to live off what you can make."  Dean nodded at that.  "I have no suggestions as to how, but it is something to think about, boys."  He stood up again.  "Thank you for keeping it out of my city."

"We didn't want to upset Xander," Sam told him.

Horatio smiled.  "Most people don't once they get to know him.  That's why the ATF comes to me when they want things about him from now on.  They would like him to finish his inventory of weapons.  I know you two are skilled with them and he does have to weed out some of the guns he bought so he'd have *something* even though they are less than stellar.  Plus all his artillery.  You might see if you could help with that as well."

"We can do that," Dean agreed.  "Is it here?"

"No, it's in a warehouse.  You might have to bring a few fans since it's a metal building."

Sam nodded.  "We can do that, Horatio.  Thank you for not busting us."

"I understand how you can be drawn to a life," he told him, staring down at him.  "As I was to my calling, so are you two to yours."  They nodded.  "Don't involve Xander and ask Adam if he has any ideas.  He's been around longer than this country has.  He might have a few of them."  Dean gaped.  "How old did you think he was?"

"Two, three hundred?"

"At least a millennium," Horatio corrected quietly.  "He does try to hide it but now and then he breaks out swearing in some very ancient languages."  Sam gaped.  He nodded.  "He has this nasty habit of swearing about Xander's crocheting in Egyptian or Ancient Greek."  They both gave him amazed but pleased looks.  "Which means you both have to plan for a *very* long life since Xander can beat him and I've heard you two were getting nearly as good."  He put back on his sunglasses.  "Have a good day with the weapons, boys, and get me an index list.  Watch out for the demonic storehouse.  We've heard rumors of unrest on some of the demon planes since Xander took out two very ancient demons to avenge Vesvold's assassination."  He walked out, heading back to work.

Dean walked out to the living room, watching Xander watch cooking shows.  "Got a fan since Horatio said we'll probably want one while we're working on the weapons?"

Xander smirked at him.  "Go up to the second floor, steal Ryan's air conditioner from his window.  We've got a small one there and it'll barely fit."  He nodded, going to do that.  Xander stood up and stretching, wincing some.  "I'll be fine," he reminded himself, grabbing a few folding chairs too.  "We're taking the SUV."

"Sure," Dean agreed.  "Your tank is pretty comfy for being a tank and limo's baby."

Xander smirked.  "I got one for Greggy.  That was his happy 'going to Tony' present.  It's got a normal backseat."

"I like yours better," Sam decided.  He brought out a small card table too.  "Notebooks?"

"The drawer is empty?"  Sam nodded.  "That's fine.  Do we want computer or paper?"

"Computer," Sam decided.  "Easier to edit and easier to read."

"Sure," Dean decided.  "Xander, laptop?"

"Somewhere."  He shrugged.  "We'll stop at the store," he muttered.  He got the things they needed into the back of the limo with Dean, who stretched out again.  He looked at Sam.  "You don't get the comfy, cozy seats?"

He grinned.  "I went clubbing last night while he cleaned the weapons and pouted."

"Hmm.  Maybe he should go tonight."

"I did," Dean promised.  "Went out really early this morning.  We thought New York never closed."  Xander snickered, backing out of the garage and heading to the nearest Circuit City.  He ran inside and Dean leaned up to talk to his brother.  "How much do you think he's worth?  Even really rich people don't usually just go *buy* a new laptop because they can't find theirs."

"He was complaining his had problems," Sam told him.  "Other than that, all I've heard is rumors about his poker buddies and how he wiped out a drug cartel for cheating him."  Xander got back in and gave him a box.  "Do we have outlets there?"

"Yup.  It's got electric.  We'll be fine."  He backed out and headed to the warehouse, signing them in.  "Horatio wanted me to finish weeding out things."

The guard nodded.  "Duquesne changed the codes on you again, Xander."  He handed them over.  "She was nice enough to leave them for you this time."

He rolled his eyes.  "She get in there?"  He nodded. "How much did she walk off with to test in the lab?"

"Three small boxes.  She said she needed a brand comparison because one had a switched barrel."

"Ah."  He nodded, driving on and parking in front of the weapons warehouse.  He got them through the three layers of security then inside.  He and Dean installed the air conditioner and sighed in pleasure when it worked.  Sam set up the laptop and got it working on top of the card table.  They looked around.  Xander frowned.  "I had more than this."  He looked up.  "I had more than this!" he yelled. "Stealing from me pisses me off!"  The rest of his weapons reappeared.  "Thank you for storing them for me!  Let me know next time!"

A small lizard looking demon showed up and bowed to him a few times.  "Your warehouse shelf is taking up too much room," he said, sounding apologetic.

"Let me clear some of this up and I'll take some if it back," Xander promised. "Stop accepting presents for me."  It gave him a horrified look.  "Really.  I'm not up to being courted.  I'm still mourning over Vesvold."  It nodded and disappeared.  A few more cases appeared and one disappeared.  "Okay."  He looked around.  "We had this sorted originally.  All handguns up front.  All rifles in the back and the artillery was stacked against the walls."

Dean stared, then looked at him.   "You could take over a demon plane with all this," he said finally.

Xander grinned.  "I'm already the queen of one realm because the vampire who ran it kidnaped me and I staked him."

"Sweet," Dean decided, closing the door so they could get to work in peace.  "Horatio said you had some weaker pieces?"

"We found out when Horatio confiscated my *first* batch that me not having any weapons means that I had to destroy the slave auction that had most of the family."  Sam shuddered at that.  "Exactly.  So now I'm allowed to have weapons but Horatio has direct oversight.   While I was gathering and looking I bought some just to have *something* here.  Even if it was crappy.  I know I have things in here that should be melted down because they're so sucky.   Some of the rifles especially.  Those I give to Mac and Calleigh for their exemplars."  That got a nod from Sam.  "So we have to weed them out.  Some of them I haven't even gotten to shoot yet.  My range got shut down by the ATF because the owner was the one I was getting weapons through and he wasn't careful about who he sold to."

"How much money did you make playing poker?" Sam asked.

Xander shrugged.  "Don't know.  I know my very last debt paid me in sixty-two platinum bricks."  He grinned.  "I played high stakes and they said I can't play anymore.  Though I am evil at baccarat too.  I'll show you guys that when I take you out to meet Jace.  She runs a resort that's on holy ground out in Vegas.  She's a great lady.  Another anchor of the old gods.  Very skilled.   Most of us go through there at least every few years."

"Wow," Dean said, looking around.  "Okay, where do we start?"

"Let's start with the handguns," Xander said.  "You guys are more familiar with those."  He picked up the first chest with Dean's help, carrying it over.  They sat down to note the make, model, caliber, and serial number, plus Sam had included boxes to 'X' if it was an automatic and how many the clip held.

Dean looked at it.  "That's so geeky, Sammy."

"It's going to come in useful someday," he defended.

"Willow would've had it in Power Point with pictures in the charts," Xander told him.  "Plus percentage charts for how much of one size we have out of the collection."

"She's the Goddess of Geeks?" Sam asked.

"Willow?  Possibly."  He got back to work, making sure they were clean at the same time.  He called Ray Junior.  "We're playing with the weapons if you wanted to come help."  He grinned.  "Sure.  Can you stop at that Circuit City by the mall with the pretty flowers and pick up the rest of the stuff?  Thanks, Ray.  Sure, drinks are good too.  Thanks, dear."  He hung up.  "He'll come help too."  He got back to work on the next one, noting it down then breaking it down to clean it.  Dean saved his then handed it to Sammy for his next one.

"You got more than one laptop?" Dean asked while he cleaned.

"The boys need new ones and the house needs a new wireless router.  Ours sucks.  I need a techno geek to set one up around the house so I can lounge in the living room with the dogs while I look for whatever I'm making for dinner.  Speaking of, what am I making for dinner?"

"I liked that pork thing you pulled out of the freezer the other day," Dean told him.  Xander beamed at that.  It was so easy to please him.  "Maybe that and some pasta?  Are the guys expected home somewhere near a reasonable hour tonight?"

"Hopefully.  It'd be nice if they cuddled tonight."  That got a nod from Sam.  "So, Horatio get onto you about how you fund the cause?"

"Yup.  Thanked us for not doing in Miami."

Xander nodded.  "I remember working construction and using it to fund ours, then Anya's present habit.  The Watchers gave us crap for anything after they fired Giles and Buffy walked away from them."  Dean shuddered.  "Longer than average story."  He put that gun back down into the 'going to Calleigh' pile.  "She'll have a happy day tomorrow."

"It's good to see her squeal and bounce," Sam said with a grin.

"She's single," Xander offered.

"She'd hate the hunting," Sam said.  He looked at him.  "Horatio said the two you killed were ancients?" he asked quietly.  Xander shrugged.  "How?"

"I channeled the hellmouth.  It was there, they were there.  I said 'hi' and yanked.  It ran through me and basically burned them to a crisp."  He shrugged again and got back to work, noting his newest one.  That one was clean so it went into the 'going' pile.  "I think this trunk was all going."

"I've had one good one," Dean admitted, holding it up.

Xander looked at it.  "The grip's sticky."

"I fixed that, Xander."  He let him have it and got a nod of thanks for it.  That went into the empty case he had waiting.  "Looked like grape jelly."

"Eww," Xander said, shaking his head. "I hope that wasn't me."  They laughed and got back into it when Ray Junior joined them.  He looked at him.  "Need to be worn out?"  Ray nodded, handing Sam the PDAs and the second laptop.  "You can sort for us."

"I'll help once I have this up," Sam promised.  He got them charging and set up, then went to help him move the cases around so they were almost sorted.  Sam found something strange.  "Hey, Xander.  You have a blueish egg back here and a small mirror?"

Xander dug into another box, handing Dean the bullets he had found.  "Silver?"

"Thanks.  Blessed?"

"No, but I'm a priest to Strife.  I wonder if I can do that?"  He sent a prayer up and got to work on them.  They glowed for a minute so it was good.  Especially when the egg was moved it turned into a curled up demon who glared and took them all with the weapons.

***

Dean drove the SUV up to the station and got out, texting Don to come outside.  A few of the officers gave him odd looks.  "Xander had to handle something that wanted to steal us."  That just got a nod.  Don came out looking confused.  "What do you want him to do with the used launcher?"  He got it out and handed it over.  "Some little blueish demon that was curled up like an egg got really pissed at us when Sammy woke it up."

Don looked at it then at him.  "We needed it?"

"It was bulletproof.  Xander said it was made from demonic kevlar."  Don shuddered.  "Only stronger."  He pointed at the rest of the stuff.  "Since it had us for over six weeks, we got the rest of the inventory done for the weapons.  Xander said the squealy one we all like to watch bounce and Mac get these woosey guns?"

"Um, sure."  He leaned against the side of the SUV, texting them.  Horatio came out with a pull cart.  "Not sure how they're stacked."

"We used a few of the empty boxes we found," Dean told him.  He looked at Horatio.  "Did you see the little blue egg?"

"Is Ray Junior all right?" he countered.

"He's fine.  He's actually pretty good at self defense.  Took us a bit to get back."  He opened the back door and handed Don the keys.  "The trunk's full too."

"Gee, thanks," Don said dryly.  "They had to blow up the little blue demon, Horatio."

"It does happen," he sighed.  "Is it complete?"  Dean handed him a CD in a jewel case. "On what?"

"D-base.  That's what Sammy put it in.  He went halfway to Rosenburg geeky."  Don snickered at that.  "Xander said she would've taken pictures, made charts about percentages of calibers, and put it in PowerPoint."

"Probably," he agreed.  "Danny's like that now and then too."  Calleigh and Mac pulled up with Stella behind them.  "Xander's done with his weapons inventory."

"Yeah, about that.  A few things we weren't sure what the hell they were.  Xander described them.  We took pictures with the PDA to include in case someone else does."

"What PDA?" Don asked, looking confused.  "We have a PDA?"

"Three now, dude," Dean told him.  Don groaned.  "Ray was complaining about his allowance too," he told Horatio.  "So Xander took him shopping in his car."  That got another groan.  He smiled at Calleigh.  "We're done with the weapons inventory.  These are yours and the tough guy's there."  She squealed and bounced to hug him.  He grinned.  Being a good guy had some perks.  Stella swatted him for the small smirk he had.  "Want one?" he teased.

"Mac would growl."  Calleigh dug into the back of the SUV, letting Mac, Horatio, and Don help her heft things out.  Stella looked.  "You weeded it out too?"

"The last demon didn't send us back when he died.  Took six weeks for Xander to have the energy to open a portal."

"Ah."  She nodded, understanding that.  "He come home with more pretty stuff?"

"No.  Apparently we don't get the kidnapings with jewelry like he said he did.  Or Ray said he did."  He looked at Don.  "Sixty-two platinum bricks?"

"Twenty-five pound bricks," Don said dryly.  "His very last poker debt."

"I don't think I can count that high," Dean complained, making Horatio snicker.  "Really!  I can't even imagine what that looks like in stacks around me."

"About waist height in a circle around you if you use hundreds," Don said with a grin.  The ladies laughed and Mac gave him a pat.  "I know.  It's sucky but we've had that much from a few of the bags."  They got back to work, letting Calleigh haul those inside and bring out a new cart while they rested.

Ryan leaned out the door.  "Need help?"

"Yes," Don called.  "I'm tired."

"Ray Junior and Sammy were helping sort," Dean said.  "They both went to take showers at the house.  Your new shower is great, Don."

Don grinned.  "I know.  My boy is a horrible spoiler."

"Who still has almost no idea what you're getting for dinner since he was out of the pork dish I mentioned and there's no meat in the house."

Don called him.  "Hey, babe, can we have pizza tonight?"  He grinned.  "Thanks, Xander.  Doing it now.  Waiting on a new cart from Calleigh.  Mac is here.  Dean got a hug from Calleigh.  It's in Horatio's hand," he agreed, nodding.  "You okay?"  He rolled his eyes. "No, you can't belong to anyone but us ever again.  I said so and so did Danny and Ryan.  If they argue, shoot 'em or something and then take their wallets.  It'll be a good lesson."  He hung up.  "Some of the presents were from tactless people who decided to proposition Xander to own us all already."

"They took them back when Xander protested," Don promised.  He saw a twinkling and looked down, bending down to pick up the necklace.  "I didn't see that earlier."

"That's because it just showed up," Horatio told him.  "It's very pretty."

"Yeah but it's girl jewelry and not exactly Sammy's type," he said dryly.  "If they do this can we sell it?"

"They might think you need the money more," Don admitted.

"Could.  Traveling is damn expensive.  Sammy did the math.  We're spending about thirty-one grand a year on the road."  They all groaned at that.  "That adds up."

"For the next sixty years that's one-point-eight-six million," Ryan said.  Dean shuddered at that number.  He shifted closer. "You're working on the next life stuff, right?" he asked quietly.

"Xander suggested we open up somewhere for hunters to shop.  Then again I've already died once thanks to the identity theft demon by Stanford."

Horatio shook his head.  "We don't need to know."

"Okay.  That works for me."  He grinned as Calleigh came back out with the cart and they got back to work hefting and toting under her careful watch.  Dean finally pulled out something and put it on top with a grin for her.  "Xander's orders.  He said you were wearing mean people clothes."  He took the keys back and walked around to get in and drive.  "How do I turn on the cameras?"  Don reached in to flip on the switches.  "Thanks.  Later, all."  He made sure everything was closed then backed up slowly, heading back to Xander's place.  This thing really was a tank to drive.  A comfy, soft, plush tank but still a tank.

Stella looked at the box.  "Bakery.  Muffins?"

She looked inside then beamed.  "Cream puffs with chocolate g'nosh on top."  She carried in the box while Mac pulled the cart and Don got the other one.  She even let her faithful helpers have one of her cream puffs, but the other twenty were hers and hers alone!  At least those evil women around Xander had taught him what a girl needs when she needs chocolate.

***

Dean held up the necklace to Xander, who waved a hand and shook his head.  "Any idea what sent it?"

"No.  I didn't know you did drag, Dean."

Dean gave him a look.  "Sammy's the girl of us."

Sam looked at him.  "I'm going to beat your ass later."

"Haven't recently," he quipped.  "Think it'd be okay to sell it?"

"Depends on the thing that sent it," Xander admitted.  "Some of them get really upset.  Some of them see it as a need for more money so they send more things.  Then again if it was the monsoon demon I'm surprised you guys haven't had showers of jewels or something.  He showered me with jewels and gold flakes."

"That's an interesting party favor," Sam decided, taking the necklace to look at.  "It's real."

Xander leaned over to look.  "All but two of them."  He sat up again.  "By the way, Dean, covered the motel for you."

"Thanks, man.  Pool hustling was getting thin."  He took the necklace back.  "So?  Selling, not selling?"

"Sell the sucker," Xander said.  "You could use more money.  It's not a practical gift since you're not girls."  Horatio called, his caller ID said so. "Yeah, Horatio?"  He smiled.  "Really?  And they didn't figure out they had lost it a few hours ago?"  He just nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Sure, I'll tell him."  He hung up.  "They need pictures.  Someone claims they lost their diamond necklace in the parking lot."

"That's fine," Dean agreed.  Twenty minutes later Danny came in and took pictures then took it with him.  "Let us know."

"I can do that."

Xander looked at Dean.  "He really hasn't given you anything?"

"I think they're slightly scared of Sammy."

Sam shrugged.  "I'm not the Anti-Christ.  Sorry."  A small thing appeared in his lap.  "What are you?" he asked.

Xander and Dean both looked.  "Demon dog."  He took it to pet, getting a growl.  He stared at it until it whimpered.  "Such a good puppy."  He cooed and petted it, letting Dean get some too.  "They're nice at this age."  Hubert growled.  "Fine.  Let me go do that.  Dean, money for the pizza is in the safe.  Let me get it out."  He walked that way, handing him two fifties when he walked past him.  He walked into the back yard, going to the DPP realm.  "Hi, this one appeared on Sam's lap," he said, handing over the puppy.  "I didn't want my pets to hurt it since it's so small."

Detective Mystic looked at the demon pup then at him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He grinned.  "Oh, about the blue thing.  Am I in trouble?"

"No.  It came for you," he said patiently.  "It was stupid to hide in your weapons."

"Is the monsoon demon playing with my students?  I won't have them toyed with.  They deserve better than that."

"They do," he agreed, smiling some.  "They're scared to death that Samuel will disavow them and make them disappear."

Xander snorted.  "He said he's not the Anti-Christ and he should know."  He kissed the vampire detective on the forehead.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  He watched him head back to his house, looking at the puppy.  "He's not?"  It shook his head.  "Huh."  He went to find the pup's mom and hand it back.  "Here, he got misplaced with a GHS member," he said, patting her on the head.  She stared at her pup, who only grinned cutely and snuggled in.  "It went to be petted by hunters, especially Samuel."  She licked it then his hand.  She'd deal with her stupid young one so it didn't bother him again.  "He didn't mind.  Xander Harris brought him back.  He's teamed up with Dean Winchester to keep Samuel on their side."  He smiled.  "We'll have to see who's stronger."  She shivered but nodded.  "He said that the warrior isn't ready yet."  She nodded, putting her head back down to bathe her errant bratling.  He went back to his desk to make notes.  That was very interesting.  He checked on them.  Dean had Xander's axe.  He blinked at that.  That relic was.... in very capable hands he decided.  Winchester knew what he was doing and Samuel was clearly not ready yet.  Then again, he was immortal now.  He had time to be ready.

***

Xander landed and smiled at Dean.  "I also passed on a message that the monsoon demon wasn't allowed to stalk you if he wasn't serious about wanting you.  That I didn't want demons playing with your attention.  That'll keep the less than serious away."

Dean smirked.  "Is that why Sammy just got showered with chocolate?"

"Possibly."  He walked inside, taking a piece of pizza to nibble on his way to the living room, sliding into Don's lap to cuddle him.  He gave him a kiss.  "Missed you."

"Missed you too, Xander."  He gave him another kiss. "Thank you for the weapons.  Calleigh was so happy she nearly came there in the parking lot.  Mac too."  He stroked his back, making his boy cuddly.  "You two did good, guys.  Thanks for the help."

"Not a problem," Dean promised with a smirk.  "I got a good reward when she bounced into me for a hug."

Don laughed.  "Yeah, that's a good reward from Calleigh."  He looked outside at the sudden darkness then at the tv.  "They managed to keep the cable connection.  I'm impressed," he decided.

"They know Xander likes the news station and cooking shows," Sam told him, nibbling on a piece of pizza.  "Might as well come out so we know who you are."

Another of the small, blue lizards appeared and uncurled.  "Greetings."

Xander looked at him.  "I found one of you trespassing with my weapons."

"He was stupid and ill.  We are sorry for them."

Xander shrugged.  "That's fine.  What did you want?"

"We have a menace we would like the great hunters to take on," he said respectfully.  He handed over something.  "One of them are back to bother us."

Xander looked then at him.  "Why can't the diplomatic corps of the DPP handle it?"

"They will not touch the Ancient blood."

Xander grimaced, looking at the marker again then at him.  He handed it back.  "Get the slayer to.  They're in her class to solve and half the Ancients are locked into the Hellmouth right now for some reason.  We're on the wrong coast.  She will if you give her a good reason.  If they're endangering your clan she will step in as long as the Watcher agrees."

It nodded.  "Thank you for that fairness.  The Slayer Faith?"

"Buffy's back on the plane," Don told him.

He nodded.  "Then I will seek her counsel."  The demon faded and they found themselves back at the house with Danny and Ryan staring at them in confusion.

"Demon wanted to ask us to take out something that was bothering his clan," Dean told him.  "Something on the west coast."

"Oh," Danny said, nodding.  "Better than the one that took the whole house to the dimensional nexus and then let it fall on the housekeeper when it got back."  He sat down with the pizza.

Xander pulled out something and poked Danny on the arm.  "You're bleeding green and purple.  Danny's like me."  The demons faded and they found themselves back in the house.  He went to get another piece of pizza, bringing one for Sam too.  "Wonder where they are."

"Danny and Ryan are both sucked into the lab," Don said with a grimace.  "It'll be *hours* yet.  You think she would?"

"She's never been a 'kill them all' sort," Xander told him.  "If they ask her and Giles politely and give reasons, she might."

"Are you going to forgive Giles if he shows up?" Don asked.

"Nope.  He sold my ass to a demon.  Then he sold my ass to the one on the battle realm.  When he and Connor showed up they only wanted to save Ryan.  No.  I'm not forgiving either of them."

"Okay," Don agreed, pulling him down to cuddle him.  "What if it comes down to a fight?" he asked gently.

"I'll do my best to walk away," he said, sounding tired.  "If not I'll make sure his channels very well into the ground."  Don nodded, stroking his back.  "Happier talk, people.  Can we pay Cooper to set up the new wireless system?"

"No but Mac's tech might," Don said with a grin.  He kissed him on the head.  "Cooper's been having some mouth issues."

"I heard."  He nibbled on his new piece of pizza.  "Just us?"

"Just us," Don promised.

Xander kissed him.  "Love you."  Don smiled.  "But we're still not home.  The pizza's cold."

Don groaned.  "Where are we?"

"Not a clue yet."  He snuggled in and looked around.  "It's not a battle ring.  It's not the vampire realm that I'm technically the queen of.  Not really sure."

Sam got up to go look out the front door.  "Xander, where's the pets?"

"They hardly ever take us with the pets, Sam.  They can't take Hubert."

"Huh," Dean said, getting up to look outside.  "It's dark, pretty, and warm."  He opened the door to sniff.  "Smells like gardenias trying to cover up a sulphur pit though."

Xander walked outside onto the grass, barely a foot away from the door.  He concentrated and felt the energy around him.  "Huh."  He walked back into the house, finding everyone back on the couch.  He looked up.  "Don't even start."  It put him back with them.  "We're on a higher level of demon's realm.  I don't know what sort," he said.  "But they clearly like to play mind games."  He tapped Sam and he disappeared.  Don too.  He looked at Dean, trying the same thing.  He stayed.  They sighed and went to check the pizza.  Then eat some more while they waited.

***

Sam and Don looked at each other then went to check the house.   The animals were all there.  The pizzas weren't so Don ordered a few more.  Which seemed to disappear once he put it on the same spot on the kitchen island.  Sam looked then at him.  "Probably stole them for those two," Don said, going to call in for five more.  Three more got put on the spot and two disappeared. The other two went into the living room with them.  He called Danny.  "It's me and Sam.  Xander and Dean disappeared."  He smirked.  "Probably.  The pizzas in the kitchen keep disappearing.  Sure, we're here whenever you two get done."  He hung up.  "He's distracted.  It's going to be hours before they get home."  He ate a bite of his present slice, tossing some sausage to the dogs when they came over to sniff.

"Do we think it's a harmful kidnaping?"

"Don't know.  Probably not since they took the pizzas too.  This happens ta Xander every few months," he told him, eating another bite.  One of their boxes disappeared so he looked up.  "We need them too."  It reappeared and the one in the kitchen disappeared.  He went back to eating.  "Let's hope it's not covered in stuff."  Strife appeared and fixed it then grinned at him.  "You taking them for the boys?"

"No, the demons who want to keep them away from Sam are.  This way he doesn't have anyone ta temper his temper."  He disappeared.

"Yeah, like I won't hunt down the thing that has my big brother and kill it in the most messy way possible," Sam snorted.  He looked up.  "I get him by the end of the hour or else, whichever one you are," he shouted.  He went back to eating.

"Alive and healthy," Don added.  He looked at Sam.  "They like you?"

"A few are under the assumption I'm the Anti-Christ and going to work with them.  They're wrong but they think that."

"They think Xander's a furry pet to cuddle so I guess that happens."

Sam grinned at him.  "Thanks."

"Not a problem.  They think Ryan's the bastard son of Ares some days."

"Not really," Ares' voice called.  "Go open the closet door, boys."

Don got up and went to do that.  "Does that mean we've got another exit?"

"Yeah but you have to go through the hellmouth," Xander admitted, giving him a kiss.  He tapped him on the head.  Nothing.  So he kissed him again.  "You got vidalia onions on the pizza?"

"Yup. I like sweet onions better."  He nodded at Dean.  "He's in the living room nibbling."

"Good.  What's the black fruit stuff, Xander?"

"It's a kinda sweetish thing that's the same texture as an apple.  Makes a great wine," Xander told him.  Dean went to pick one to try it and came back nibbling.  Xander dragged both bags with them and handed them both to Dean before forcing Don to sit down so he could cuddle him.  "Let's try this again."

"Who was it?" Sam asked.  "So we can kill it later."

"Too late," Dean quipped, stealing a piece to nibble on.  "Though it was nice that we had a few hundred years there.  We got a lot of practice in."

"Yeah," Xander said dryly.  He got up and walked outside, taking off the charm he had made up to help himself.  He sent himself up to the Ancient's area again.  That portal was still slightly open.  He let everything go then sighed in pleasure.  "And leave my students alone too!" he shouted before disappearing back to the house and going to cuddle with Don again.  He made sure the portal was as closed as he could make it.

Don kissed him.  "As long as you're safe," he said in his ear.  "That's all I care about, Xander."  Xander snuggled in, taking some of his pepperoni to nibble on.  "You can have some."

"I don't like the stinky onions."

"Pick then off," Sam pointed out.

"They soak into the cheese."  He picked off another piece of pepperoni.  "Dean, you good?"

"I'm fine.   We're good."  He ate another bite.  "You go dump that?"

"Yup on the people who had taken our cute asses."  Dean snickered.  "Told them to leave my fucking students alone too.  Had enough of them."

Sam grinned, leaning over to give him a hug.  "We love you too, Xander.  If only because you spoil Dean's stomach so he'll give diner food an odd look."  He sat up again.

"What do I do with this crap?" Dean asked.

"Sell it," Xander said.  "Some of it's parts, some of it's other stuff we looted.  It's all sellable.  Angel can help with that."  That got a nod.  He called the phone over, dialing his number.  "Wes, Xander.  Got taken again and brought back some demon crap.  My student needs to dump it.  Some stuff, some parts, don't know.  I can do that."  He hung up and stood up with a groan, walking Dean outside with the bags.  He opened the small portal, helping him through it.  Then he pushed the bags through.  "Call."  He went back inside, stopping to get a soda.  He had missed caffeine.  Dean had missed caffeine.  The demons who had run into them during their withdrawal had been very sorry for their confinement.

***

Dean settled back into his bed a few days later, yawning as he stretched.  "It was a good day.  I'm really getting the hang of that other movement style."

"You are," Sam agreed.  "You look good with the axe too, Dean."

Dean smirked. "Of course I do."   He yawned, sitting bolt upright when the door was kicked in.  He didn't get to open his mouth before the demon shot him.

Sam threw his new throwing knife at it, making it die.  He checked on Dean, totally out.  He was lost.  He called Don's phone.  "It's Sam.  Someone just broke the door in and shot Dean!"  He calmed down.  "I know that!"  He listened, pacing.  "Sirens.  Motel.  Thank you!"  He hung up and walked out there, nodding at the officer.  "I got the one who shot my brother," he said with a point at the demon.  The cop gave him an odd look so Sam kicked him and he became visible, making him flinch.  "Him."  He kicked the knife in deeper, making the body dissipate.  He grabbed his knife, sighing in displeasure.  He looked at him.  "Can we please gather him or whatever?  Before more of them come back?"

"Um.  Yeah.  You wait here, sir."  He walked inside, finding the other one dead on his bed. He called in a call for the ME and a CSI.  Delko peeled in and parked, hopping out.  "That was fast."

"I was nearby and heard the call."  He looked at Sam.  "What happened?"  He held up his knife, showing the green ooze on it.  "Demonic?" he muttered.  Sam nodded.  "How?"

"Kicked in the door and shot him.  Apparently it couldn't cross the salt wards but it did it long distance."

"Okay," Eric sighed.  "Wait here."

"What about Dean?"

"We have people who can help with that," he assured him.  That got a nod and Sam slumped, glaring at the rest of the city.  Eric walked inside, looking around.  "Cancel the call for CSI.  Get ME Woods personally.  She knows him."  He walked off to make that call.  Eric looked around.  Nothing that showed Sam hadn't told him the truth.  He could feel the quickening building.  It wouldn't be a long time before he woke up.  Though he was still pretty faint.  He walked out when Alexx's ME van pulled up.  He stopped her, rubbing her wrist with the tattoo using his thumb.  "One of Xander's students," he said in her ear.  She nodded, going with him.  "Sam got the one who shot him."

"Do I have two or one?"

"It dissipated," Sam told her, pointing at the puddle.  She looked then nodded.  "I'm sorry, ma'am."

"Not a problem, Sam.  This isn't the first time."  She went in to check, pronouncing him dead and getting on with the bagging since it was open and shut and the one who did it was dead.  A bit irregular but it happened sometimes.  Eric helped her get Dean's body into the back of the van.  "Sam, sugar, can you drive?"

He nodded.  "I can.  Where?"

"The lab, around the back is the ME's dock.  Park near there and come in," she told him.  He nodded, heading for his car.  She looked at the officer.  "Sam, go pack first," she called.  He went in there with the officer.  She looked at Eric.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  I think he's going to have a small problem."

"They often do," she admitted.  She got in to drive her van back, taking him back to the morgue.  They had a sealed room for any immies she knew were going to raise.  She put him in there, taking out the bullet once she had cut his t-shirt off him.  The bullet got put aside and she found a damp cloth to start the clean up.  Not much blood had been lost externally.  It'd be fine in a few minutes.  Xander and Sam both walked in.  "You boys know he'll be fine."

"Still disorienting," Xander said, kissing her on the cheek.  "Thanks, Alexx."  She nodded, letting him have the cloth and leaving them alone.  He locked the door, handing it to Sam.  "He's yours."

Sam came over to finish cleaning his brother up.  "I can't believe they kicked in the door and shot him," he said quietly.

Xander nodded.  "They can be that way now and then.  I'm wondering if they knew about this or not."  Sam looked at him.  "Some do.  Some don't.  Most of them know when they find one by accident.  Me helping two hunters train and research isn't going to be looked at oddly.  Especially not with you two being GHS.  Oh, he's going to be backed up when he comes back."  That got a nod.  "He'll be fine, Sam.  Even if he has been avoiding thinking about the whole orphan problem."

"So have I," he admitted.  He went back to his scrubbing.  "I should've known."

"I didn't even know, Sam."

"I know.  It's irrational."

Xander reached over to pat him on the back.  "It's a human thing."

"Are we?"

"Yeah."  He nodded.  "Fully.  We don't register any differently to magic either."  They both felt a quickening and looked at each other.  "That side," he ordered, pulling him behind the door.  The doorknob rattled and then a key was put into the lock.  Xander pulled out his hidden sword, shifting his weight.  The door opened and the man came in.  Xander waited until it was being pushed closed behind him to pounce.  "Hi.  What're you doing?"

"I..."  He swallowed, looking at them.  "You're not Morgue staff!" he said firmly.  "You shouldn't be in here."

"I'm his teacher, bright boy.  Why are you wandering around the morgue with a machete?"  He shifted his sword a bit, making sure he knew he was ready to use it.  "Waiting isn't my strong suit," he said when he didn't say anything.

"I heard it was one of the bad ones," he defended.

Xander snorted.  "I hate you hunters."  He let the guy up.  "Leave and quit, leave Miami, little boy, or it's on between us."

"I don't have to do what you say."

Xander stepped closer.  "I'm sleeping with a detective."  The man whimpered.  "I know Alexx *very* well.  I will have you fired for hunting this way.  Not exactly ethical combat."

"Plenty of us hunt this way," he sneered.

"I know.  I was brought across by one who shot me.  Then he'd try to do the same thing you are.  Won't work now either."  The man sneered.  Xander shifted his stance.  "Your choice."  The man lunged, his machete up.  Xander took his head about three seconds after he ducked under his swing.  "Pity.  I hate hunters."  He let it go, letting him go.  Xander looked at Sam.  "It's done."

"It's never that peaceful."

"Oh, I channeled it into the ground like I would any spike."  He went to call Alexx from the office.  He waved at the ME in there.  "Sitting vigil."

"That's fine, Xander.  Some of us *do* know."

Xander looked at him.  "We do?"

"She's not the only one in Miami.  Too many of you come down here and die, young man."  He held up his tattoo.  "What happened?"

"The idiot was hunting newbies."

"Ah."  He went to gather him and put his body into a cooler.  "How long?"

"Shouldn't be too much longer.  He's been building quickening.  Not much but some."  That watcher nodded and left them alone.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome.  Be discreet.  Remember the cameras, boys."  He went back to his current autopsy.

They waited, watching until Dean gasped and sat up choking.  Sam came over to help him, patting him on the back.  "Get off," Dean complained.

"Nice to know this hasn't made you happy," Xander said dryly.  Dean glared at him.  "Morning."

"What the hell!"

"That's what it's like when you come back.   It'll be faster later on."  He came closer.  "You know, you don't have a very strong quickening.  You'll have to watch out for werewolves."

"Why?" Sam asked, looking confused.

"My friend Oz, the one still in Sunnydale?  He ended up changing for two years because he has a weak quickening and got bitten by his two-year-old nephew who was one."

Sam moaned.  "Okay."  He let Xander toss Dean a shirt.  "That's bright blue, Xander."

He grinned.  "It's a very Miami color."  He helped Dean off the table.  "It's clear.  Alexx brought you here. The one out there knows."  He nodded, pulling on the shirt.  "Let's head home, guys.  You can hide on the second floor for now."  Dean looked at him.  "At least until we figure out why the demon shot you.  Most of them don't know about us."  He led them out, getting a nod from the ME.  "Thanks."  He led the way out of the building.  Sam got into his SUV.  The guys got into the Impala.  They headed home with Dean slumped down in the passenger's seat.

"They probably think he came to visit one of his boys," Sam decided when no one gave the SUV a funny look.  He looked at Dean.  "You good?"

"No," he said honestly.  "I made myself decide he was wrong about me."

Sam reached over to pat him on the arm.  "We'll handle it, Dean.  You know we will."  Dean nodded, getting comfortable.  "Just think, years and years to pick up any woman you want and you can't get anything from them anymore."

"Unless they're werewolves," he said dryly.

"We've got to talk to Oz, see if anything else happened," Sam agreed.

Dean looked at him.  "I freaked out when you died."

"I freaked out earlier after stabbing the demon."  He shot a look at him before paying attention to the traffic around them.  "Thank God Eric showed up."

Dean nodded at that.  "I'll thank him and Alexx later."  He sighed when they passed the boundaries of the neighborhood gates and then parked in the garage, getting out and heading inside.  Xander gave him a hug.  "I'm fine."

"You're not.  I wasn't.  You've got heavier thoughts than I did, Dean.  If you want to talk, we can.  If not, go sulk up in Ryan's room."  He nodded, taking the bowl of ice cream Eric was making that way.  He gave Sam a hug too.  "Give him a few then ask."  He nodded, going up to shower.  He took his own bowl from Eric.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  They went to watch tv.  Dean would have a temper later and be stuck in thought.  They'd handle it like they did every other newbie.  "Did Ryan have that problem?"

"No," Xander admitted.  "He woke up very pissed.  He had that 'I'm going to fuck you up because you did this to me' anger for the next few weeks."

Sam flopped down next to them.  "Dean locked me out."  He looked at them.  "I was really confused."

"So was I.  I had no idea why I had that tingly headache and why there was a guy there with a sword to take my head.  I thought he was a demon."  He licked a bite of his ice cream off his spoon.  "He'll be fine, Sam.  We all faced down these thoughts."

"Know anyone who can do a seance?"

"The witches at that store might.  Why?"

"I think it might help if he hears it from Dad."

Xander shrugged.  "Ask him first.  That can backfire and make him really pissed with only you as a target."

"I know.  Fortunately I know how to beat him now."  He grinned.  Xander waved a hand.  "Wes gave him a decent price for what you guys scavenged."

"That's good.  The parts liquified?"

"Yeah.  He said they did that when they were too old."  He licked his own spoon, digging in again.  "I don't know.  We'll figure it out.  Somehow."

"Maybe when Xander takes you to meet Jace he'll go win a few hands of baccarat for you guys," Eric joked.

"If he does, Dean might blow him," Sam offered.

Xander looked over at him.  "We just spent over a hundred years together on that stupid demon plane, Sam."  Sam shivered.  "Exactly."  He looked up.  "Guys, incoming!" he yelled.  He handed Eric his ice cream and headed for his sword.  Dean came jogging down the stairs with his battle axe.  Sam had his sword.  The demon appeared in the living room.  "Huh.  Nice of you to announce yourself.  You would be?  So we can mark it down somewhere."

"He might be peaceful," Eric reminded him.

"He broke the sanctity and security of my home.  I don't care," Xander said.  "I hate it when anything breaks into my security."  He looked at the demon, who was staring at him.  "You would be?" he demanded.

"You are not nice or pleasant, human."

"Yay me.  You still broke into my home.  If you were human I'd have shot you."

"Bullets don't work against my kind.  Nor does silver or blessed objects."  He looked at Sam, bowing some.  "Warrior."  Sam snorted.  "I came to ask the rude one's permission to court one of you."

"No.  Thanks anyway.  You wanna try us, you ask me, not the teacher," Dean said firmly.  "You ask Xander about his family.  Sammy's mine."

"Hmm.  Yet with what you are....."  Dean growled, moving closer.  "Ah, you do know."

"Not all family is blood or else the one you marry wouldn't be family," Xander said, stepping closer.  "They said no.  Leave."

"I can encourage him to change his mind.  Including giving him much in the way to make his life easier."

"You're going to destroy all the demons in the world that attack the harmless or helpless?" Sam asked.  "We'd like that."

The demon stared at him.  "You are not quite what I expected in our warrior."  Sam's eyes narrowed and his grip on his sword changed.  "It will not hurt me, Warrior."

"No but this will," Xander said, grabbing something off a side table and tossing it at Dean.  "Into his chest cavity."  Dean slammed the leaded statuette into his chest cavity, making him scream when it broke the skin.  The demon disappeared.  "By the way, that was a hell no if you needed a translation!" Xander called.

Dean smirked at him.  "I love it when you get mouthy."

"So does Danny."  He grinned.  He gave him a hug.  "Remember, blood and family are two things that are intertwined but not always.  If you want him to be your brother, he's your brother."  He let him go, getting a nod.  "The same as your dad can still be your dad, Dean.  Even if all he did was raise you it shows in the man you became."

"I know.  Still getting stuck there.  Why did Dad lie?"

"Who said he did?  They could've switched Sam at the hospital.  Or you."

"Good point I guess."  He looked at him. Then back at Xander.  "Are there other brothers in the game?"

"Ask Adam, how would I know?" he said with a small shrug.  Dean laughed.  "I only know a few of them, man.  Not my thing.  History is not for me."  He went back to his ice cream.  "Don't you think my former baby looks good with him, Eric?"

"I do.  I think he handles that axe very well," Eric said, handing Sam back his ice cream.  "You can think down here if you want, Dean."

Dean nodded, going to get his ice cream and bring it back down.  "Where are we staying if everyone comes over?"

"The extra secure house downtown."  Eric gave him a look.  "What?  Ryan's when he has to change over."

Eric shook his head.  "I'm seeing why you drive people insane."

"Because they spend too many hours working and not enough time being my butt bitches," he said with an evil smirk.  "Leaves me all sorts of bored time to think up whole new evil plans and plots, plus add my hormones to it."  He ate more ice cream.

Eric shook his head quickly.  "We'll talk to H and Frank about a day off for your boys.  It's our busy season."  He finished his ice cream and went to call Horatio from the study.  "H, Xander said he's so bored he's thinking up evil plots and plans with his hormones again."  He nodded.  "Well, there was a demon here who wanted Sam."

"I don't care, you're going to get laid even if I have to do it myself!" Dean said angrily.

"Dean just threatened to wear someone out.  Boys, Don and Danny would take both your heads on each of your bodies if you tried that!" he yelled back.

"I was talking about Sammy!"

"You know, if you're not really brothers," Xander started, getting a growl from both of them that made him laugh.  "See, told you there was still the bond there."  He grinned brightly and went back to his ice cream and his crime drama.  "I remember working full time," he sighed.  "It kinda sucked.  Then again, my girlfriend was good at sucking too."  He dug in, then went to get some more and came back out to find those two staring at each other.  "Don't make me pounce, guys."  They went to get some more ice cream, Sam with a short detour to the bathroom upstairs.  Xander snickered.  "I can take him to the spa with me tomorrow if you want, Dean."

"We're both going.  You going out alone when you're like this will lead to Ryan going on a road trip.  He said so."

"Now and then," he admitted.  "We'd have to see, huh?"  He gave him a look.

"Oh, no!  No, no, no!"

Xander snickered.

Eric came out of the study, handing Dean the bowl of ice cream before pulling Xander up and into the bedroom.  "Danny said I had to sub in, Xander.  You're too backed up."

"I let it go a little bit ago."

"And I'm Santa."

"You're a demon who eats kids?  Eww!  I don't want that to touch me!"

Eric shook his head, getting Xander down onto the bed even though he was wiggling.  He was good at it.  Not as good as Ryan was but they played now and then.  He'd never be able to fully wear him out but Danny had promised he was on his way home within the hour.

Dean finished his new bowl and started on Xander's too.  Ice cream was nice.   He could do ice cream while he thought.

***

Ryan faced off with both boys, letting them attack him together.  They were good.  They moved well together.  He was clearly out of practice again but the boys were good.  Xander had done an excellent job teaching them how to fight together and alone.  Danny and Xander joined in with Eric playing backup in case they were outnumbered.  They were still holding on.  Dean pulled out an unloaded gun and pointed it at two of them, taking out the two more dangerous ones, earning a smirk.  "Only if you're outnumbered or about to be found out," Ryan reminded him.

"I know."  He tripped Danny and made head chopping motions, not getting near his neck, getting a nod that he was out.  He got out of the way and the boys went back to it.  They were good.  Ryan managed to get in a lucky blow on Sam, making him fall down and pant.  He was out until he could deal with him.  It was a bad angle for a permanent kill.  He did 'stab' him in the chest to kill him until he could deal with him.  Dean fought harder, getting the others except him down.  "Don't expect me to play nice if this happens."

"Good," Ryan agreed.  Dean shifted funny and winced, making Ryan follow up but it was a sacrifice play and Dean rested his sword against Ryan's back, sliding it up.  "Good job."  Dean smirked and moved away.  "Sam?"

"We'll be practicing more, Ryan.  I promise.  We've got a lot of evil bastards between now and then."

"Good point."  He helped him up, then wiped his face off.  "That was a good practice."  He looked at Xander.  "You okay?"

"I'm watching and being a lump on the ground to trip over," he quipped.  Danny helped him up.  He looked at Adam, who nodded.  "Good?"

"Very good."  He came over with his sword, facing off with Sam.  "Now me."  Sam caught his breath and came after him, attacking first.  Adam fought him back, it was more like his normal style.  He threw in a move from a formal martial arts style but Sam could block that one.  He tried one from another one and it wasn't as well blocked but he did manage it.  He switched to that style and Sam found his capability after a few blows.  He changed back suddenly and Sam still flowed with him, fighting him back even though he was being pushed back.  Sam suddenly ducked and spun, coming up behind Adam to give him a gentle shove with his foot and a grin.  Adam came back and Sam got in a lucky stomach blow then knocked him down and stared at him, sword head ready to take his head.  "Good," Adam agreed.  Sam beamed and helped him up.  Dean came when he waved his hand.  A leap, a spin, and then an underhand blow under his guard to take his stomach out, then spin around him and get his neck from behind.  "You did learn very well," he praised, smiling at him.  Dean beamed back.  "Are you ready to go back to hunting?"

"I don't know.  There's still demons who're stalking us."

Xander looked at him.  "Two aren't too bad.  One wants Sam for his supposed prophecy property.  The other is pretty wishy-washy on why he wants Sam.  Back and forth between the two because getting him will give his family status."  Dean grimaced.  "Then again you have your own from one of the demon hunting clans."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "Honestly."  He looked up.  "You might wanna tell him."

The female hunting demon appeared, staring at him.  "You would be an asset to our clan on our hunts," she hissed at him.  "We hunt those that bother others as you do.  You would have the whole clan behind you both if you agreed to join with us."

Dean considered it.  "We have to handle the prophecy thing and the one who took out our mother and his girlfriend."

She bowed.  "I do understand.  Duty must come before even honor."  Dean nodded.  "When that is done I will come again to ask you again."  She bowed and disappeared.

"I am not wishy-washy!" the other demon shouted as he appeared.  "I know exactly why I want Samuel.  He's a Great One and he is mine!"  He lunged at Dean but Dean shot him in the chest.  He gasped and fell down dying.  "No, it was meant to be!  He is my Juliette!"

"Knew you were a girl," Dean told his little brother.

"No, I top, I can't be the girl."  He looked down at the demon.  "Sorry.  I only top, dude."  The demon started to cry, keeping it up all the way until he died.  He shrugged.  "Any other stalkers, know that too!"  He suddenly felt lighter.  "Are they going to leave me alone?"

"Except for the prophecy wanting one," Xander agreed.

"How can you tell?" Eric demanded.

"I have the wards up."  He grinned. "So, Oh Great and All Knowing Yoda, are they ready to go be jedi in the real world of men who know not what we are?"

Adam gave him a scathing look.  "One of these days I'll answer you in Yoda speak, upstart brat."  Xander just smirked.  "As long as they're careful to wear out their hormones and come to conventions so we can check on them it should be fine."

"I've got the site bookmarked," Sam vowed.  "If we can afford it, guys, we'll be there."

"I still say Xander should take them to Vegas to win a few hands of baccarat for them," Eric joked.

"Since they're prone to being taken by demons maybe we should give them some of the safety deposit box," Don offered, looking serious.  "Gemstones are always able to be cashed out and they're acceptable places where american money might not be.  That's why Xander always travels with some."

"We run in the lesser bar circuit, not the gem and jewelry circuit," Dean reminded him.  "Wouldn't mind a few though if you guys are offering," he said with a grin.

"Sorry, my present to you two the witches, Richard, and I worked on together, boys."  Xander walked over to look at Dean.  "Whenever one of you is taken off realm by anything, the car and your brother will follow," he said quietly, staring into his eyes.

Dean smirked back.  "Sweet, Xander.  Thank you."

"And I upped your bullet and gun stash by a few more."

Dean gave him a hug.  "I appreciate you.  If you wanted, you can have Sammy."

"Mine," Danny noted dryly.  "If you two join us you're all ours."  Sam shivered at that.

Don gave him an evil little smirk.  "I know, we're fantastic, it's a wet dream in the making but you'd be really tired all the time."

"Sorry, guys, but Dean needs me to plan for him.  I can't be that tired all the time."

Dean nodded.  "True.  Who else would I annoy if he was knocked out from all the sex?"

"You can call and annoy me anytime," Xander reminded him.  "Not like I'm not perpetually bored or cooking."

"No mush.  You promised."

"It comes with the hair," he joked.

"Fine.  No more mush."  He looked at them.  "So, now what?"

"Now, there's a ghost up the road by a few hours," Xander offered with a sneaky grin.

"I thought we handled that last week," Sam said, looking at Dean.

"At the racetrack?" Xander countered.

"No, not that one," Dean said.  "You bet on the horses, Xander?"

"Only when Hermes or someone makes me have a really strong feeling about one."

"Pity," Dean muttered.

Xander patted him on the back.  "It won't be a problem."

"How do you know?"

"My own version of precog."  He looked up.  "Someone's got to fight the stupid ass demon that won't quit hyping violence in Miami."  The three of them and Ryan disappeared.

"Lemonade?" Don asked, getting up to get them some.

"After you get a drink it's time to practice," Methos ordered.

"Yes, Mom."  He went to get them the pitcher of lemonade and glasses, plus the first aid kit just in case.  Then he grabbed his sword and stepped out to spar with him and Eric.  He had been ignoring it for work reasons.

Horatio and Speed parked on Speed's bike, getting off and walking over.  "We miss the boys leaving?" Speed asked.

"No, the demons took them to beat whatever is making people violent locally," Adam said as he worked with Don.  "They should be back soon."

"Lemonade?" Don offered with a hand wave at the table.

"Sure," Speed agreed, making Horatio shake his head.  "Where is Ray Junior?"

"Home?" Danny suggested.

"Not since last night."

"We'll ask Xander when he gets back," Danny sighed.  "He seems ta know those things."  The DPP officer that looked like a pile of rocks appeared and handed Ray Junior and Ray Kowalski both over.  "They have fun?"

"No.  The one who had them is very sorry.  This one needs more work in his self-defense," he said, patting Ray K on the head before disappearing.

"Thank you," Ray Junior called.  He flopped down beside his uncle, resting his head against his knee.  "I'm tired."

"I know."  He stroked over his hair.  "You need a trim as well."

"Ray, you all right?" Danny asked, pulling him over to look him over.  "First one?" he guessed.  Ray nodded slowly.  "What was it?"

"The stupid Monsoon prince wanted a matched set of Rays to please him," Ray Junior said dryly.  "Pity about him."  Ray Kowalski gave him an odd look.  "What?  I learned from Xander!  I only like humans!"

"Good," Adam called, tripping Don, but Don rolled and came up behind him, using a foot to shove him and get back into the fight after catching his breath.  "Better," he admitted.  They kept going.  "You need to practice more often."

"Make the Chief of Police hire more cops," he complained.  "I've pulled more overtime recently than I have in the last three years!"  He took a wild swing but he had planned it so he caught Adam's lunge on the way back and twisted his body to take Adam's sword with him.  "Ha!"  Adam pulled a gun.  Don kneed him in the groin and they both went down by Don was on top and Adam's gun hand was trapped by his sword.  Don pinned him down and moved his sword, getting a nod. "Like that?"

"Like that," he agreed, smirking a bit.

"Good.  Get Ry and Danny then your boy.  He doesn't do much practice either from what the officer said."  He got up and helped the teacher up, handing him back his sword.  Adam took a swing and Don ducked then maced him with the spray canister he kept on his belt at work.  Adam yelped and backed off.  Ray handcuffed him.  "He get hit by the violence thing?"

"Twice now," Ray Kowalski agreed, sitting down to pet him.  The Impala appeared in the driveway behind the bike, thankfully not on top of it, and then the brothers appeared.  Sam was weighed down with stuff.  Dean was looking dazed.  "Took your first head?" he asked.  Dean nodded at that.  "Go get jumped."

"Will in a bit."  He looked around, frowning.  "Xander!  Quit playing with that thing and come back here!"

Xander appeared, looking at them. "What?"  He shrugged.  "It wasn't wanting to play.  It wanted to be beaten.  So I spanked it," he said with a wicked, impish grin.

"I don't wanna hear about kinky sex," Danny called. "I'll get pissed."

"No sex about it.  I only spanked him," Xander said.  "Oh, the demon whose doing the violence is still around but severely injured.  He's hiding.  I've got to find him again."  He looked at Sam.  "There ya go, roadtrip funds."

Dean looked.  "That's sweet and all but what do we do with it?"

"First we make sure it's not stolen then we teach you how to take it to a jewelry store," Xander quipped.  "Because now and then I do get stolen stuff given to me."

"That's really nice of them," Sam said dryly, dropping all the stuff on one of the spare patio chairs.  Then he flopped down beside it to look at it.  "How would you know?"

Danny grabbed everything, taking him into the office to show him how to log onto the jewel registry.

Xander straddled Don's lap, giving him a kiss.  "You look hot."

He grinned. "I sparred with Adam."

"Not that way," he said with a wink, turning around and walking off, his braid swaying a bit.

"That was a hint," Dean said when Don didn't move.

"Let me finish my lemonade for strength."  He finished up and followed Xander into the bedroom to pounce him.

Dean shook his head, picking up an earring to bring in there then coming back out to sit down again.  "That's insane."

"Yup," Ryan agreed once he appeared. "By the way, Ares said welcome to the game.  He's impressed."

"Thanks.  I think."

"No, be happy," Speed told him.

"Okay.  Never been the favorite of anything higher than Dad."  He nodded at that, looking in the house at the keening noise.  "Problems?" he called.

Danny came out a few minutes later.  "That was Hubert.  He's having joint pain from his newest growth spurt.  We put him into a warm bath."  He flopped down, taking Don's glass to refill and drink.  "Sam's seriously backed up, Dean."

"We're so going to a whorehouse," he muttered.  Danny wrote down an address and slid it over.  "You know a good one?"

"Yeah.  Tell them you're there because Xander sent ya."  Dean snickered.  "Even we aren't enough sometimes."  Dean squeaked as he disappeared.  The car and Sam disappeared.  They came back a minute later.  Speed got up to move his bike into the garage, just in case the Impala got any closer to it.  "You okay?" Danny called.

"Yeah, fine," Dean said, shaking his head.  "Dude, you're so getting laid later."  Sam sulked.  "Tough!  You hormoned all the demons!  It's creepy!"  He went back to his seat, tucking the address into his jeans pocket.  "Before it gets lost."  Sam slunk into the house, going to finish the jewelry.  Danny shook his head, going to help him.  Dean looked at Speed.  "Is it the hormones or something else that makes him pouty?"

"Both probably.  Horatio insists he never pouts."  He patted his mate on the back.

Horatio looked at him. "You're coming dangerously close to sleeping on the couch, Speed."

Speed kissed him.  "I got the raspberry sorbet you like."

Horatio shook his head.  "Probably not enough to save you."  Speed got up and pulled Horatio into the house to make out in the movie theater.  "Speed!  Anyone can see!" he complained.

"Yay.  It's family!"  He mugged him again, making Horatio one happy boy lost in memories of being a teenage Horatio on a date for a bit.  It was good for him.

Dean shook his head.  "Are we all insane, Adam?"

"It's the hormones that make you ask that, young one.  Go wear them out."

Dean stood up.  "Let me drag Sammy that way and we'll be back in a while."  He went to get Sam and pull him out to the car by his collar if he had to.  They headed for the brothel and it was good.  The bouncer got that message and called Xander, who vouched for them and paid their dues.  They were let in and someone there pounced Sam nearly immediately.  Dean had his choice of some very nice looking women.  He found two he liked and went to wear them out.  Sam was in the middle of a pile of women.  It was good for his baby brother to be wanted for the right reasons for a change.

***

Xander stared at his poker hand then grimaced.  The luck was not with him today.  He sighed and folded then went to get a drink.  He came back from there and the ATM, going to a different table.  He did send a prayer to Strife and Hermes, pointing out he wasn't playing for himself.  He was playing for his students.  Then he prayed to Lady Luck, who was usually nice to him.  He lost a few more hands then hit three in a row.  His fourth one he had the tingle but the cards were wrong.  He folded and walked away, handing Dean the money once he had cashed it out.  Dean gaped.  He shrugged.  "The luck is with me now and then.  Say thanks for it."

Dean looked up.  "Thank you, Lady Luck and all you others who helped.  We needed this," he said quietly.  He felt a warm fuzziness and looked around, going to stare at one slot machine.  He shrugged and sat down to play, blinking when he hit it a few minutes later.

Xander smiled, walking out and heading for Jace's and the ice cream bar she had put in recently.  Dean would be okay.  He ran into one of Greg's coworkers, punching him on the arm.  "Hey."

Nick Stokes turned to look at him.  "Why are you out without guards?" he demanded loudly.

"I'm here with a few students.  I'm heading back to Jace's.  Really.  Plus I'm not totally disarmed.  I never am."  Nick glared.  "Go play, Nick."  He smiled and walked off, heading back for the nice walk.  It was a pretty day today.  Not too horribly hot or humid.  It was a pretty day.  He got back to the resort and frowned at the crying people.  "What happened!" he called, heading to the desk.  "What happened?"

"Jace went to take a challenge," she sniffled.  "We can't find her."

"Where?" Xander asked, reaching over to grab the keys to one of the resort's cars.  She wrote down the numbers Jace had taken from the phone call.  "Who?"

"I don't know," she begged.

"If she's alive I'll bring her back," he promised, earning a hug.  He headed out, going to check on her.  It wasn't that far of a drive.  He found her car and got out, scanning around.  The fight had clearly taken place already.  There was a bit of damage to the ground.  There was a headless body.  He walked closer carefully.  It wasn't her.  "Jace!" he called.  He heard a growl and turned to look.  "Jace?"  She came out of a small, hollowed out old tree.  "Jace?"  She growled again.  Xander stared.  "Are you possessed?"  She lunged and he knocked her down and out.  He checked the other body.  He had heard rumors of him.  "Why is a Shaman challenging an anchor?"  He got Jace into the car and drove her back to the resort, parking and letting the bellhop help him carry her inside.  "She's possessed or something," he told the receptionist.  "Let me into her room."  She hurried ahead to get the doors for him.  He settled in beside her once he had her tied down, praying hard over her.  He spent enough time to text Dean in case he knew more about possessions than he did, then went back to praying.

Cupid appeared, putting a hand on her head.  "I have no idea.  It's like he possessed her with his spirit animal."

"Why did a shaman challenge her?"

"He took a dark quickening," Cupid sighed, looking at him.  Xander slumped.  "He wasn't in his right mind, Xander."

He nodded.  "She still won."

"Good!  Now all we need...."  Dean burst in with what he needed.  "It's his spirit animal."

"There was a shaman who was one of us," Xander said, looking at him.  "He took a dark quickening.  He challenged her.  Cupid said it's his spirit animal that's possessing her."  He looked at Cupid.  "Do we know what one?"

"Timber wolf."

Dean nodded, calling Sam.  "Possession by spirit guide?  Jace took a challenge from a shaman who had taken a dark quickening.  Yeah, exactly.  Growling and tied down.  Thanks."  He hung up and started on the general one.  "Do we know anyone who knows more about Native rites?"

"Connor," Xander said, grimacing.  "He lived with them."

"Mac did," Cupid corrected.  "Let me see what I can do, guys."  He disappeared, heading to where Connor and Mac were talking.  He appeared, wings out.  "Boys."  They both stared at him, Mac's mouth slightly open.  "Michael took a dark quickening."  Connor shuddered.  "Challenged Jace.  She won and now his spirit animal is in her.  We need help from someone who'd know the Shaman ways."

Connor looked at Mac.  "Do you keep in touch with the tribe?"

"Yes."  He moved to call one of the ones he knew.  "Where is she?"

"Las Vegas.  In her bedroom with Xander and Dean helping.  They're trying the standard exorcism.  It might push it back some Xander thinks."

Connor nodded, making reservations for a flight.  "Who am I making from them?"

"They don't want to.  Even if he took this way out of life they said it's a gift."  He considered it.  "I do not know, Connor."

Cupid considered it.  "Would Methos?"  They shook their heads.   Ares appeared behind him.  "Pops?"

"Sam found what he needed he thinks.  He needs someone who was Native or blessed into it outside of his one contact.  They can do it over the speaker phone but they need somewhere there who can do the ritual."

"I can," Mac said.  "I married into a clan."

Ares stared at him then nodded.  "Fine."

"It'll take us a few hours," Connor told him.  Ares nodded and they disappeared to tell the boys.

***

Xander paced, looking up when the dual buzz hit him.  "She's in the back," he said.

"No word of greeting?"

"I'm going to take your head someday, Connor.  She's in the back in her suite."

"I'm sorry, Xander."

Xander backed away.  "No you're not."  He turned and walked off.  "Dean, they're here."

"Dialing Sammy's friend now," he agreed, doing that.  "Hey, it's Dean and he's just now here.  What first?"

"We were on a private plane, I've already bathed and changed," Duncan said, taking off his overcoat to show the hunting outfit he used to wear when he had been married to his Indian wife.  He knelt beside the bed and said a prayer for her, then took up what Dean handed him.  The voice over the phone went on in his ear.  He did as ordered, watching as it slowly faded from her.

Xander stared.  "She'll be like I am," he said quietly.  He looked at Dean, pulling him up, whispering in his ear, getting a nod.  He went to make another call.  Xander knelt on the other side of the bed, touching one of her anchor's marks to pray over her as well.  It could only help her.  He felt the power move through him and bind into her, working with the magic Duncan was working.  It bound the spirit into her.  Dean came back and put something on her forehead, drawing a symbol with it.  Duncan moved around him to go back to what he needed to do.  She went limp with a sigh and they watched as it was fully bound into her soul.  Xander finished his prayer and let her go.  He stared at her.  "She'll be like I am with the hyena.  He's bound to her soul.   A small voice and urge in the back of her head."  He looked at Dean, then at Duncan.  "Thank you."   He patted her cheek, waking her up.  "Hey.  Are you yourself?"

She swallowed, staring at him.  "What happened?"

"You got possessed by his spirit guide, Jace."  She made a whining noise.  He smiled.  "Just like my hyena, love."  He smoothed over her hair.  "Rest for a bit.  Let's make sure you're all right."  He adjusted the bonds and let her curl up to sleep again.  He looked at Dean.  "Nice teamwork."

"You could start hunting."

"I'd draw everything to me," he reminded him.  "Besides, Danny and Don wouldn't travel that way."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "Thanks for the slot machine thingy."

"Didn't."

Dean gaped.  "Wow."  He sent a prayer at Lady Luck and whoever had helped him thanking them.  "They patted me down twice."

"They did it to me too," Xander admitted.  "They yell about me?"

"No.  Asked if I had the same gift you had."  Xander shook his head.  "I told them I was your GHS student and you can brought me here to win me a dowry."  Xander grinned.  "They said to not do it again."

"They're mean if you try," he told him.  "You'll want to talk to Steve."

"I'm going to."  He looked at the cousins then at him.  "We should head."

Xander nodded.  "If she reverts while she naps or afterward, let us know."  He walked around the bed, nodding at Duncan.  "Good work.  Not a skill I've ever had even with what I can do magically."  He left, closing the door behind himself.  Dean and he packed then checked out.  "She'll be fine," he told the desk girl.  She beamed and nodded, taking their keys back.  "If not, call."  She nodded and they left, heading out to the rental car.  To the airport.  Then back onto the private plane because Xander could not take the chance of flying commercial.  He'd never make it back to Miami.  The boys were there to meet him once they landed and he got hugs.  "Did they call?  Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Danny promised.  "Connor's pissed."

"Connor still has his head.  He has no right to be pissed," Xander assured him.

"I know."  He led them out to the SUV, watching Xander and Dean lounge in the back to play with the radio and then turn on a video game.  Danny smiled.  "Dinner?"

"Take out?"

"Sure.  Chinese or pizza or what?"

Xander beamed.  "Whatever.  How was Sam?"

"Sam's good," he promised.  "He studied the whole trip."  They pulled out of the parking garage and headed back to the house.  "Want us to call Steve, Dean?  You have that 'I won thanks to Xander' glow."

"Please, man."  That got a nod and he called him to come to dinner too.  They drove back, listening to the boys be boys again.  Dean's character was thumping Xander's to make him laugh.  Don made two stops, one really long one but the boys weren't paying attention.  Danny looked at the bag then smiled, nodding at Don.  Dean saved their game when they pulled into the driveway.  "Can we finish it inside?"

"As long as we can hook up the new console," Don agreed, handing him the bag.  Xander squealed and gave him a hug, heading in with him.  Don and Danny got dinner.  Steve showed up to talk to Sam and Dean while they finished hooking in the game system.  By the time he had things set up for them the game was on pause and Dean dove back in, sitting on the ottomans to play with Xander.  Don laughed.  "I got you a DDR system too, Xander.  I know Ray Junior said you rocked the arcade a few times."  Xander glomped him for a hug then went back to his game against Dean, finally being beaten by him.

"You'll have to practice for the next one," Dean taunted.

Xander smirked.  "We'll see.  DDR?"

"DDR?" Dean asked.

"Dance Dance Revolution," Sam translated.  He helped Don set up the system and they all got sucked in, except Steve, who sat and giggled at Dean nearly tripping himself up.

Dean decided he was at least going to be Sammy.  He had to beat Sammy, his pride would be wounded and he'd pout otherwise.  "This is great for stamina building."

"Some daycares are doing it too so the kids play," Xander panted.  He won that round and bent down, catching his breath.  "Usually I start it at a higher level."  He straightened up when the next level started.  Sam got knocked out but he was giggling.  Don too when he got knocked out.  Danny and he were almost tied and Dean was doing good to keep up.  Dean finally tripped himself again and flopped down on his ass laughing. Xander grinned.  "Good training, huh?  Try fencing after that."  Danny barely squeaked by that round since he hit a special move.  Xander pouted and paused the game long enough to get a kiss and a drink then they went back to it.  Head to head.  Boyfriend to boyfriend.  "Winner tops?" he teased.

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "That'll work for me."  That gave him incentive or else Xander would wear him out too much to work.  Speed and Eric came in with Horatio and Ryan trailing them.  They finished up and Xander let Danny win, getting a smirk back.  "I'll really challenge you next time."

"I don't mind bottoming," he teased, taking a kiss.  "Anyone else?"

"I'm challenging," Speed said.  "Eric, Ryan, you're both club sluts too."  He set the game up and put it on challenge mode.  They got into it and Xander was kicking everyone's ass but Speed.

Sam looked at Ryan then clamped something on his wrist, hitching it down.  "To block the rest of that taint," he said with a grin.  "It's no fair.  You sucking at Xander's hormones is making him clumsy."

"Oops.  I thought I stopped that."

"Nope," Xander panted.  "It's nice how I got rhythm with the hormones though."  He finished up tied with Speed.  "Pause?"  Speed panted, pausing the game.  They both caught their breath then stretched and got back to it.  They played a tie breaker round and it was good.  Horatio was growling in a possessive mood.  Don was snarling in the same sort of mood.

"Ray Junior taught me," Speed panted with a grin at Xander.  "He said someone had to beat you."

"I'm sure there are," Xander panted back.  They ended up tied again.  "Mutual backrubs?" he panted, holding out a hand.

"Works as a prize for me," Speed said, shaking back.  Horatio pulled Speed into his lap to kiss him.  Don pounced and rolled Xander under him there on the floor.

"Boys," Dean complained.  "I like girls.  Please?"  They got up and went to their rooms.  "Thanks.  Sammy's tender eyes and all that."

Sam snorted.  "No, I've seen a lot of that, Dean."

Dean looked at him.  "Dad would've freaked if he heard you say that."

"Why do you think we moved from Missouri when I was sixteen?" he shot back with an evil smirk.

"You were doing what?" Dean demanded, shifting to look at him.

"One of the track team," he said modestly.  Dean gaped.  "Dad was not pleased when he walked in on it."

"Where was I?"

"Hitting on some clueless bimbo from the local college I think."

"Oh, yeah.  I remember her.  She kept playing puppet theater with her breasts.  Talking nipples creeped me out."  Ryan laughed at that.  "She was!"

"I've seen others who did," Eric assured him with a pat to the arm.  He looked at Danny.  "Not going to save your boys?"

"Nope.  Don deserves a good pounce now and then."   He heard the lightening and looked out front, getting up to open the front door.  "Willow," he said, staring at her.  "What?"

"I wanted to talk to Xander."

He opened the door louder so the 'oh, more, you bastard more' shouts from the bedroom could float out.  "He's busy," he said once she had blushed.  "It'll probably be a while.  Wanna leave a message?"

"No, just wanted to talk," she said sheepishly.  "I'll call ahead next time."  She disappeared and the weather cleared up.

Danny closed the door, shaking his head.  "She'll call ahead next time," he told Ryan, who nodded at that.   Xander let out a high pitched scream then went silent.

"Damn it," Don complained.  "We need ta scan him again," he called.

"Isn't it usually you two complaining about dying during sex?" Sam joked.

Danny nodded.  "Yeah.  Often."

"He hurt his back the other day," Dean offered.

Danny smirked.  "That means we get ta fuss."  He went in there to help Don fuss over their boy.  He clearly needed it.  "What did you do to him?"

"I was teasing his cock," he protested.

"Dean said he hurt his back the other day."

"Hey, fussing time," Don said happily.  Danny nodded, going to get the stuff so they could baby their boy for a while.  Apollo appeared and took the tumor, disappearing with a shake of his head.  "Even more reason ta fuss," Don decided.

Dean grinned at Eric and Ryan.  "You two can go play."

"We're not that hyper," Eric told him.

Ryan looked at him.  "I wouldn't mind if you were.  Aiden wear you out earlier?"  Eric nodded.  "Poor boy.  Alll that het sex with the big, pouty lips."

"They're good lips too," he taunted with a smirk.

"They often are," Dean agreed, nibbling on a piece of cracker.  He looked at his lap.  "When did I get crackers?"

"A minute ago when they appeared," Sam said.  He held up his own plate.  "Someone's trying to take care of us."

"I guess that's nice enough," Dean decided, going back to nibbling.  Steve gave him an odd look.  "I'm a hungry, growing boy," he defended.

"Are you going to turn into the Jolly Green Giant?" Eric teased.

"No, that's Sammy."  He nodded at his little brother and ate another bite.

Sam looked at him.  "I'm going to spank sometime soon."

"Yeah yeah.  As long as you get someone to hold me down," he taunted back.

"Oh, Gods, Horatio!" Speed shouted from upstairs.  Ryan and Dean both clapped.

"Guys," Eric complained.  "Leave them alone. They're married, they can make those noises.  Unlike the trio who aren't married."  Someone in there was starting to squeal again then went suddenly quiet.  "Again?" he called.

"Yup.  I'm magnificent!" Don called back.

"I need to take that lesson," Ryan sighed, shaking his head.

Sam snickered.  "If you do, let us know how you do it."

"Sure," he agreed, grinning at him.  Steve went to snicker in the study.

***

Horatio nearly wobbled as he walked into his office the next morning, sitting down very gently.  Speed walked in with a pillow for him, kissing him on the head.  "You could've called off."

"I have to do the paperwork," he said hoarsely.  Speed smiled, giving him a proper kiss once he was sitting on the pillow then leaving again.  Frank came in a few minutes later.  "Morning," he croaked.

"Sick?"

"Only from a twisted mind," he said dryly.  Frank gaped, staring at him in horrified awe.  He waved a hand.  "I'm fine, Frank.  I should have called off but I couldn't."

"How?" he squeaked.

"I don't know.  Maybe whatever let Don do to Xander what Xander usually does to Don," Ryan quipped happily as he came up the stairs.  He handed Horatio something. "Tim got paged to the morgue by Alexx.  He said to deliver that."  He walked out grinning.  Horatio and Speed had made more noise than the trio.  That was amazing.  No wonder Horatio looked like he needed a nap in a hot bath.

Frank swallowed.  "He okay?"

"He can walk somehow," Horatio said grimly.  "I have no idea how."  Frank walked off shaking his head.  Horatio pulled over his first folder, moaning at what was in it.  He kept repeating over and over that the lab and the citizens of Miami needed him, even if he couldn't move today.  Stetler walked in with a sneer.  "Not today, Rick.  I feel miserable."

"What's wrong?  Too much to drink?" he taunted.

"No, I think Speed threw my back again if you want me to be honest," he said dryly, giving him a look.  "That would have been after midnight though.  I'm sore for other reasons beyond that."  Stetler gave him a horrified look before stomping off.  He waved a hand.  He didn't care what he thought.  When his boss came in he tried to move and winced, sitting down slowly again.  "Sir."

"Horatio.  Your back again?"

"I don't know.  I'm sore for a few different reasons.  My doctor can't see me until two, sir."

"Hmm.  Relation issues?  A tear perhaps?"

Horatio shook his head.  "Speed would beat himself if he hurt me that way.  I know I threw my back around two.  I remember screaming loud enough that officers came to complain."  His boss went pink.  "We were at Xander's house, sir."

"Go home, Horatio."

"I'm needed...."

"Until you're fit for duty, having you do paperwork won't help anyone."

"It does need to be done."

"I know, the one in front of you was due last month," he said dryly.  "You're getting a secretary."

"I'd rather have two new CSI, sir.  It'd solve all the other issues so I'd have the time to do the paperwork."

"We'll see."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Go home, Horatio."  He went to find Tim, finding him happy and nearly bouncing.  "Did you imbibe whatever makes Harris bounce?" he demanded, watching him try to hold himself down.

"No, sir, just the wrong coffee at breakfast.  Xander drinks a super caffeinated blend.  I had two cups.  That's like six or seven grande's from the evil empire of Starbucks."

"Uh-huh.  Take your husband home.  He's in pain.  He's miserable.  People are suggesting you were bad to him last night."

Speed snorted.  "I was not!"

"Then take him home, Speedle."  He walked off shaking his head.  He went to homicide, finding Frank staring at Don's desk in consternation.  "He call off sick?"

"Babying his boy.  Apparently the cops last night thought Xander had died a few times."

"Oh.  Well, that might explain why Horatio's so sore too.  Can you handle it without him?"

"Sir, he hasn't made it home in time to play with his boy in nearly a month.  I figure they were all backed up.  We need more people."

"Exams are next month," he complained, heading off to call over there.  "Detective Flack."  He listened to him protest Xander was nearly wiped out.  He could hear panting in the background.  "That him?"  He nodded at the 'yes, sir'.  "Fine.  Today, tomorrow, then you're back, Flack.  I mean it.  We'll cut down on your overtime."  He hung up, rubbing his forehead.  He called up the time cards for the lab and the homicide division.  What he saw nearly made him pass out.  His budget was blown.  He looked at their last pay period and winced, calling someone in HR.  "Tell me we didn't pay out over seventeen thousand in overtime last pay period between three departments?" he demanded.  The head of HR apologized but said it had happened.  She had double checked with the security cameras.  She had docked one while he was asleep but that had happened.  "Expect some paperwork on new openings and new testing for detectives."  He hung up and went to figure out how much they could spare to move over.  He looked up as his secretary knocked then let a wobbly looking Mr. Harris in.  "Shouldn't you be being babied?"

"Don needed stuff from his desk.  I needed fresh air."  He leaned over to kiss him on the forehead.  "You have a headache," he said tiredly, grinning at him.  He put something down in front of him.  "Will that help?"

He looked then nodded.  "That'll help.  Poker money?"

Xander beamed.  "The bad guys can start paying for their own arrests."  He wobbled out, going to help get Horatio down to the SUV then home with them.  Don and Sam helped get him out of the back of the SUV while Dean walked Horatio in to the living room so he could nap on the couch with him.  Don covered them both up and fussed grandly over them.  Danny would come back after court.  It'd be good to be spoiled rotten for a few days.

***

Eric walked in with dinner that night.  Don had ordered special things and asked him to pick it up for him. "Here you go.  How's H?"

"Still asleep.  The doctor yelled at Speed for three hours," Don said, looking impressed.  He grinned as he dished up dinner, handing Speed their big, shared plate.  Then he took their shared plate into the bedroom to baby his boys.  Danny was tired now too.

Eric shook his head, looking at the two brothers.  "Still researching?"

"Trying to find the best and easiest way to kill certain things," Dean admitted.  "Plus guarding them for a few days since this isn't normal."

"Maybe it's a good thing anyway."  He walked off.  They had it and he obviously needed to tie Ryan down and have him again sometime soon since he was complaining about lack of sex again.

***

Strife leaned into Aphrodite's lounge, giving her a look.  "You feel better now that you knocked my boy so far out?"

"He needed to wear out what that last demon had done to him."  She smiled.  "Besides, it makes Don happy to spoil him."

"Xander thinks it should be his job."

"He's wrong.  Don's fussy, Danny's fussy, they can fuss over each other and pookie."  She beamed.  "Because he's got to rest his back too."  Strife walked off shaking his head.  She sighed and went back to her viewing.  Her boys were so *cute*!

Cupid popped in.  "My boys, Mom," he reminded her.  "I'm over lust."  He removed her spells and let them heal normally.  Yes, they could use fussed over but Xander was pouting and making him pout because he couldn't fuss over anyone.  They could all fuss over Horatio and Speed this time.  It'd be good for them.  He saw the two brothers disappear but they were back before the spell drew their car to the same realm.  With a lot of stuff. "Did you upgrade the boys?"

"Not really," she said with a smile.  "They're not wearing it out very well, Cupie."

He looked at her then locked her off from the love lines for a few seconds, sobering her up.  "You need to quit going so deep, Mom.  You keep getting tipsy on the energy.  Remember, the last time some poor guy got knocked up.  This time it's probably going to be an immie and they'll be hunted forever."  He disappeared, finding Ryan walking with Ray Junior around a new loft apartment.  "This is nice," he said, making them jump.  He pulled Ryan up when he fell to his knees.  "Xander's newest crash and security pad?"  Ray smiled and nodded.  "Good practice area, furniture as a distraction and so you have to learn to go around obstacles.  Nicely done."

"He said it's Ryan's next life," Ray told him.  "He'll do investments for a while."

"Good.  I like that plan," Cupid said happily, disappearing again.  He had especially liked the altar setup to him in the bedroom.  It was sweet of his boy.  He checked on his boys.  Horatio and Xander were playing a video game while Don fussed over the bedrooms.  Danny was in the kitchen making treats.  Horatio was deciding maybe video games had a good point after all.  It was good they were all being boys.

Understanding Urges.

Xander was let into the house by Danny and walked to the living room, where they looked around.  "Gee," Xander said, looking at the bare wall.  "Someone's brave."  He went to look in the office.  "Safe's still closed.  Check the other stuff."  They did that and Xander checked the old spare house but it wasn't over there.  Nothing over there was touched.  He came back to check the closets.  Nothing touched.  The movies were all gone.  The screen was shifted but still attached.  Don shifted it back with a frown.  "Bedroom?"

"Your jewelry box and the tv are gone," Don admitted.  "They were thorough."

Xander nodded, letting all the animals out of the bag before walking out to the guard shack.  He found it empty.  So he casually leaned in and hit the emergency button, making someone call.  He waited three rings but no one came so he answered.  "This is Harris."  He listened to the spluttering demand to know what had happened.  "We have no guards and my house was broken into.  I did hit the button.  Cleaned out everything but the safe.  Exactly," he said dryly.  He looked around.  "I can ask.  Mrs. Kremps!" he yelled.  She looked over from her weeding.  "Where's the guard?  My house got broken into."

"He hasn't been there for three days, Mr. Harris.  No one has.  It's been most distressing."

"I've got their boss on the phone."  She came out to talk to him.  "Any idea who got my house?"  She shook her head.  "Pity."  He frowned, going to find his corvette and the dogs.  They were watering the lawn.  "Be right back," he yelled.  "No guards for the last three days!"  He slid into the car, letting his dogs climb in with him.  They knew daddy needed help getting into trouble and being mean.  He backed down the driveway, heading to the fence he knew would've gotten his jewelry.  He was the only one who'd have done some of his hair bands.  He walked in and looked at the stupid human, who started to sweat.  "I want it back," he noted calmly.  The dogs pushed open the door and came in.  "You two are very smart but who let you out of the car?"  He went to look, finding Ryan there.  "Hi."  He walked back inside the pawn shop.  "I mean it.  Or else I get to prove why I'm the biggest bitch in Miami and probably on the East Coast to deal with when you fuck me over."

The man swallowed.  "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh.  Because the hairbands you're leaning over trying to cover aren't mine?"  He moved closer.  "Boys, guard."  They growled and stared at the guy.  "Ryan, be a dear please?  He's got stolen things of mine."  He walked in.  "I can have them back if I turn him in, right?"

"Yeah, eventually."  He looked at the tray, then pointed.  "I gave him that one.  We know it's stolen."

"Someone pawned it, said it was a present to him from someone who slept with him!" he defended.

"Sweetie, unless it was my boys, I doubt that," Xander said dryly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Could've been," he sneered.

"Hmm.  You should meet my boys, Detective Flack and CSI Messer."  The man went pale and wobbled.  One of the dogs shifted closer and his growl got higher pitched.  The man let out a hysterical chuckle.  "Your choice, dear.  Prison, giving it back and we leave peacefully, including my tvs, movies, and all my jewelry, or well...  Ryan can call off my dogs to arrest you I'm sure."

"I don't have the tv's," he whimpered.  "Sold them already."

"You're going to be telling me who," Ryan said.  "Time's up."  He pulled out his cuffs and called for backup.   A detective from Robbery walked in with a few officers.  "Morning."

He checked his watch.  "I think you need a new battery.  You are?  And those dogs belong to?"

"They're mine," Xander said. "So's a lot of the jewelry in here."

"Sir, if they're dangerous...."

One of the patrol guys coughed.  "Boys, sit," he ordered.  They sat and looked at him.  "They're K-9 trained, Detective.  Those are Detective Flack's dalmatians."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "They broke into your house?"

"Yeah and we've suspiciously not had a guard for the last few days," he said dryly, giving him a look.  "Jewelry box, all the movies, the tvs, the new stereo.  A few of the nicknacks around the house.  I know he's leaning on my jewelry.  Those are my hairbands."

"All but two," Ryan admitted, holding them up.  Xander looked then shook his head.  "Where do you get yours?"

"The same place that does the evaluations for the insurance company.  They're the only place I know that sells them."

"Good to know," Ryan said, writing down that name and handing it to the detective.  "They keep good records and they're very legal.  They should know who they came from."  That got a nod.  "We gave him the choice to hand it back or be arrested.  Pity."

"You are?" he asked.  "And I want to know more...."

"Officer Wolfe, CSI Felony lab," he said with a grin.  "I'm one of Horatio's guys."

"Oh!"  He nodded. "Okay.  The one who does the sword thing with Flack's boyfriend?" he said, looking at Xander, who nodded.  "Did you file a report?"

"We just got home.  I came here because I know he's the only one who could handle the jewelry and stuff they looted.  Too high end for most of the other fences."

"Your boyfriend taught you who the local fences were?" the other patrol officer asked, looking confused.

"No, he played poker with the underground," the first patrol officer told his new partner. "Bankrupted a number of dealers for us.  It was a great help.  Especially when the stupid ones tried to pay him in drugs.  We closed a whole pipeline thanks to one of them paying him in drugs.  He got a bit upset."

Ryan smirked.  "The last poker debt that was owed was paid in sixty-two platinum bricks.  Twenty-five pound bricks."  That got a moan from all of them.  "Fortunately legal ones.  The bank bought them."  Xander nodded.  "I can get a report from Detective Flack, guys.  Not an issue.  He called to say Xander took off after finding the community's guard was missing for the last three days."  The robbery detective nodded.  "Xander, can you point out what's yours?"  Xander came over to take all his stuff out of the cases and put them in one spot.  Ryan pointed at something.  "Is that yours?"

"It's in the safe.  I checked.  Vesvold gave that one to me."  He moved over another one and looked then held up something.  "Did I sell this set of hair sticks?"

"Yeah, you did," Ryan admitted.  Xander put them back.  "Thanks.  Now, stand back in the corner with the dogs, please?"  Xander pouted but did that.  He looked at the detectives.  "One's bomb and one's drug sniffing," he said with a grin.  "They're very well trained and we borrow them now and then to keep their training going."

"Interesting.  Whose idea?"

"Xander gets bored.  He took them to school."

"Oh."   He nodded, looking at the pile.  "What else are they missing?"  Ryan texted that to Don, getting a faxed list from the fax machine in the corner.  "Gave him the fax number?"

"No.  Don knows alllll about Xander's former helpful poker habit."

"I was playing because I was bored," Xander defended.

The second patrol officer looked at him.  "Job?" he suggested.

Xander shrugged.  "GHS."

"Never mind," he said, shaking his head.  "You are the one that Flack protects."  Xander grinned and nodded.  "That's all the jewelry you had?"

"Pretty much.  A few things in the safe that weren't touched.  I go for subtle bling to highlight my brilliant nature.  And the hair."

Ryan smothered a laugh with a cough, looking at the officer.  "The rest is in safety deposit boxes in various banks throughout the city.  Mostly in loose gems."

"Oooooooooooh," the robbery guy said, wincing at that.  "They're not here, right?"

"Bank," Xander assured him.  "Hard asset retirement fund."

"Even better.  Those things are hard to track."  He called his boss.  "We're busting the fence on Halston."  He hung up and came over to bag that evidence, making a note on the bag.  "Get the rest.  We'll search it."  Ryan and the officers did that while he looked over the report.  "The tvs?"

"He said he sold them.  That's when Ryan called," Xander told him.  "I was perfectly reasonable until he said he sold my stuff on me.  I would've accepted it back and only kicked his ass for it."  He looked at the guy.  "The person who stole it?"  He shook his head quickly.  "I'll go kick his ass and hand him over if you tell me.  If not, I'll have to hunt."  He stared him down.  The man swallowed.  "I'll enjoy it too."  He nodded at a file box.  Ryan searched and found the name, letting Xander see.  "I know him."  He walked out.  "Boys."  They followed and got into the car for him.  He walked around to get in and drive, heading over to the lair they used.  He got out and looked at the enforcer, grinning slightly.  "I'm back from LA and what do I find but one of your boys broke into my house."  The man laughed.  Xander looked at the lair's windows then at him.  "Your choice.  Give me Alejandro or I'm going to go get him."

"You can't do anything, Harris.  Not now."

Xander smirked.  "Did you think Don was letting me do other things to get out my evil instincts?  I could take over Miami but why bother all the fake tits with delusions of being pretty?"   He walked that way, whistling so the dogs joined him.  He kicked in the door then walked inside, waving at the guys he played poker with.  "Alejandro's sorry he's cutting his playtime short but he broke into my house according to my sources."  He grabbed the guy he wanted by the hair and tipped his head back, staring into his eyes.  "Did you?"  He shook his head.  "Tell me now or become a bitch I beat to death," he said with a sweet, gentle smile.   He shook his head again. "Then point me at who did."

"I only sold for him, man.  He's injured."

"Who," Xander said calmly.

"That Roman guy.  The one who has the cousin at the guard shack."

"Would that explain why we don't have community guards?"  He nodded quickly.  "Were they involved?"  He shook his head.  "Then where are they?"

"Hostage," he squeaked.  "They wanted to get the ransom money too."

Xander let his head go.  "Where are they?  Let me know and I'll let you turn yourself in to the nice robbery guy who's taking down the fence, or Ryan if you wanted, he could use more cases to get a promotion."  He stared at him.  Someone shifted and he glared.  The man turned around again.  He glared at the seller.  "Now.  Please."

"Yeah, sure.  Just don't destroy us."

"That's all up to you about how fast you go turn your ass in.  Hitting me and mine makes me unhappy and an unhappy me is a creative me.  Remember that.  A creative me with weapons."  They all whimpered and he got the address.  "Thanks.  Come on, Spots."  They walked out with him, one stopping to pee on a light post.  "Good boy."  They got into the car.  "I'll be back later if he hasn't turned himself in."  He slid in behind the wheel and drove them off, heading to deal with the stupid people.   He walked up to the house, then looked around.  He walked over to the surveillance van, tapping gently.  He smiled at the guy who glared out the window.  "Are you here about the guards they have hostage or how they stole from my house?  If so, don't bother.  They'll confess."  He walked off, heading in there with the dogs.  Thirty seconds later people came out running and screaming to the van for protection.  Two crawled.  One was crying and begging.  Then the hostages were walked out by the dogs.  Xander helped the last one down then got his dogs.  "I meant it," he called before he slid behind the wheel.  "Piss me off again, people.  Watch me be *creative*!"  He slammed his baby's door and the dogs had to be let in the other side.  They climbed in and gave him a look.  "Let's get some ice cream on the way home, boys."  He drove them that way, sure things would be fixed for him now.

One of the cops looked at the begging and crying people.  "What did you do?"

"We stole from him!" he wailed.  "We were so stupid!  We're going to be eaten and then go to hell!  He's going to have us killed!"

"He's a gang leader?  With that hair?" another one asked.

One of the hostages looked at him.  "That's Detectives Flack and Messer's guy, Harris."  They all moaned.  "It was nice of him not to bring the weapons, huh, guys?"  They all nodded at that, going back to begging.

"That was the guy who brought down the drug pipeline?" one of the cops asked.  The guards all nodded.  "Where did you guys come from?"

"We're the guards on the community where Harris lives.  They wanted ransom as well as the rest of the things they were going to steal.  Pity Harris came home from the convention in a bad mood."  The other guards shuddered.  "Xander's a great guy," he assured the wary looking cops.  "He's sweet.  He's nice.  He lets us steal from his trees for lunch all the time without doing more than smiling at us.  He's a great guy.  His dogs are K-9 trained.  They give us great presents at the holidays.  Now and then he even feeds us when he cooked too much food.  But if you piss him off....  Well, Harris has a combat history and he's a badass.  He has been now for years.  He helped bring down the Mala Noche threat too."  They all shuddered at that.  "Caine considers him a strange, dark, long-haired son who inspires others to enough lust that they want to take him.  We're more than happy when he's in a good mood."

That got a mass nod and the bad guys were all arrested.  Since they were out there they could go look at the stuff they had stolen and make sure it got back to the rightful owners, plus look for the drugs they had suspected them of dealing.

***

Ryan walked in the next morning, finding someone waiting on him.  "Chief, is there a problem?  I can call Horatio if you need me to," he offered.

"No, Officer Wolfe, I'm here to talk to you, son."

"Okay."  He walked off with him after signing in.  "What can I do for you, sir?"

"Calm Harris down."

Ryan snickered.  "Is this about the guys he went after for stealing from his house?"  The Chief moaned.  "They were that stupid.  Xander went to make sure they remembered not to mess with him."

"Robbery busted a major fence we've been watching for a while to get an idea on a theft ring."

"Oops.  I found him at the fence's shop."

"No, it helped.  The theft ring was the same one.  They came out of their building begging for mercy."

"Sounds like Xander went evil."

"He got their address from another gang member.  Is he playing poker again?"

Ryan shook his head.  "No.  He's been playing some online poker now and then with a group of shut-ins he found online.  Not for money but for fun."  That got a single nod.  "He's been good about staying out of the city's underbelly.  Were his weapons touched?  I know he was going to be looking at that warehouse today."

"I'll make sure there's a patrol that way," he moaned.  "Isn't Horatio...."

"If he's not here and Xander found something he'd call Horatio and hand him to them," Ryan assured him.  "After he got his babies back."

The Chief sighed. "Isn't there something we can do to make him calm down?"

"Make sure they leave him alone?  His rep should do that."

"We hope," he sighed.  "Maybe this incidence will reinforce that information?"

"We can only hope so, sir.  How many people were arrested?"

"Nineteen and he freed eight hostages we didn't know they had."

"That's what happened to the guards," he said thoughtfully.  "They okay?"

"They're fine.  Their exams said they were fine.  It was included in their statements.  Can you and the others get him calmed down?"

"Sir, the convention should've but we had that small invasion issue he had to help handle," he said quietly.  "Then there was a prince or someone from the Middle East who wanted to own him who tried to have him taken.  During the convention there was the guy he went to high school with who came up with a giant robot to blackmail the convention into paying him so they wouldn't be stomped.  We've been trying now for over a week."

"Take today...."

"I'm out of leave, sir."

"You're being paid for today, Wolfe.  Take him, make him calm down once he's handled the weapons issues."  Ryan nodded at that.  "Take Flack and Messer to help you.  Take Caine if you need him or Speedle if you need him.  Just make him go back into fluffy husband mode."  He walked off to finish having his headache in his office.  He did call Horatio.  "Are you looking at some missing weapons?"  He listened to him confess he was looking at the person who had broken in to try to take them but was presently dead.  "Harris was or was not....   Dead for eight days?  Weren't you in LA then?"  He nodded.  "Understood.  Your temporary lab is up and working.  I don't care who you need, but turn Harris back into a fluffy, cuddly husband sort, Caine.  Wolfe told me that.  I don't care how you do it.  Just do it.  With pay."  He hung up and took some tylenol.  It was nice their underground was going to be quiet for a while.  Fewer problems for the rush of tourists coming in starting this month.

***

Horatio hung up and looked at Xander.  "I am under orders to make you calm down and go back to your GHS side, Xander."  Xander pouted at him.  "Close but not your usual strength."  Xander shrugged, going back to cleaning his weapons.  He put down the gun and let the ME take the body with her.  The information they needed was collected by Calleigh.  "Lock it when you're done.  Report to me later," he ordered, walking Xander back to the Hummer.  He took him home, going to talk to him and calm him back down.   There had to be an underlying reason why Xander had went back into warrior mode.   He wanted their Xander back, not the Xena-wannabe he became when things went wrong.

***

Don sighed, leaning back in his desk chair.  He looked at Frank.  "How many arrests were made?"

"Nineteen and eight hostages freed," Frank said dryly.  "He told the robbery detective to split it with Wolfe so he could get a promotion too."

"That's thoughtful of him," Don said.  He grinned a bit.  "We tried.  Did you hear about the robot?"

"Don't tell me more," he said, holding up a hand.  "I don't need to know.  How soon before our building is fixed?"

"Next month," Ray called from his temporary desk.  "Where is Horatio hiding?"

"He's calming Xander down under orders," Don said, giving him a look.  "Did they end up sending Warren somewhere good?"

"Probably.  You'd have to ask Epps.  Ian was very amused by Sunday night from what I heard."  Don snickered and nodded.  "Epps said they'd both be getting some vacation time this week."

"Probably for shrinks," Frank said dryly.  "How bad was it?"

"Xander went Xena all vacation long," Don said dryly.  Mac moaned since he was walking past their desks.  "Didn't he?"

"We tried."

"Horatio's trying now," Don told him.  "You're not helping Calleigh pick up the body that tried to break into the weapons?"

Mac backtracked to look at him.  "Someone tried to break into the weapons?"

"Yeah.  Calleigh and Horatio went with the ME when Xander called.  Calleigh said it was at least a week old.  Fried."

"I knew that security system would work."  He shrugged a bit.  "Any other good news?"

"Nineteen arrests thanks to someone breaking into the house," Don offered.

Mac smirked.  "Brothel?" he suggested.

"He's not backed up.  He's back in Xena mode."

"We'd all rather your boy went back to being Joxer," Mac told him.

"He's still insisting he's a good Queen of the Amazons and he'd kick Gabby's ass in that area," Ray warned him.

"I've heard," Mac assured him.  Frank rubbed his eyes with his fists.  "Sorry, Frank."  He looked at Don.  "Any idea how to solve it?"

"No.  I'm about to pray for an idea."

"Not a bad idea with your family," Ray admitted.  "Or you could make him calm down.  Horatio's probably making him calm down and talk about whatever's been pissing him off.  You could calm him down other ways."

"I've been trying, guys.  It's not working.  Since the thing in LA the first time he's been wary and upset."

"Being sold could be like that," Mac admitted.  Strife appeared, shaking his head.  "Lord Strife," he said quietly.

He held up a hand.  "They'll think I'm the actor guy."  He looked at Don.  "The beating he gave upset him.  He had to pull a lot of magic from his soul.  Red's gotten him calmed down a bit.  Now he needs physical reassurance."

"We've tried."

"I know.  You remember the spoiling thing he gave you the certificate for?"  Don nodded slowly.  "Do that for him."  Don beamed.  "He needs a *lot* of help to come back down.  Even Cupe's frowning at him.  Just get him calmed down."  He disappeared.

Don looked at Ray.  "Where in Miami could I go to get the stuff I need?  He does that shopping instead of the rest of us."

"Adam orders from this little shop in England.  Ask Speed," he suggested.  "He buys that stuff for Horatio."

"Not a bad idea."  He went to find Speed in the temporary lab.  "Hey."  Speed glanced over then went back to his microscope.  "Where do I go to get spoiling stuff for Xander?  I was just told that spoiling him like I got at Hershey might help him calm back down."

Speed looked at him, frowning some.  "That spa shop by the place you get the nut brittle.  It's got some great scents and stuff for soaking.  Using the hot tub could help or your regular tub if you want it to be one-on-one instead of both of you and him.  Get him something to nibble.  Get him something good to drink if you wanted.  Be careful of the heat if you're drinking."  Don nodded at that wisdom.  "I usually make something to nibble on for dinner then add in treats like the macadamia nut brittle."

"Can I get the stuff like the Hershey soaks?"

"I think they can.  How bad?"

"He went to get the people who broke into our house and took the tv," he told him.

Speed shuddered.  "He okay?"

"He's fine.  Nineteen arrests, eight hostages freed, whole groups of people who're very sorry they pissed Xander off.  Then they found an older body at the weapons warehouse.  Your boy took mine home to talk to him."

Speed nodded slowly.  "Any idea what started it?"

"The slave auction when he had to keep losing it.  Strife said so."

Speed considered it, sitting on his stool.  "He said he had to dig down pretty deeply to pull up the anger.  Strife called it pulling a Rosenburg."  Don nodded, leaning against the doorframe.  "I think he'll be fine, Don.  He needs to talk and probably needs to be shown that you guys are still handling things for him.  That's a good start but make sure he knows that he's not going to be handling things on his own for a while.  Did everything get found?"

"All but a few of the movies that had been sold.  We were going to shop to replace them tonight."  That got a smile and a nod.  "So, making sure Steve has the money stuff again, making sure the house is secure....  Any other way?"

"Only if someone challenges you guys."

"I hope not."  Speed nodded at that.  "Thanks, Speed."

"Welcome.  Bring money.  The movie place doesn't take cards and neither does the bath shop."  That got a nod and Don went back to his desk.  Speed called Horatio.  "He's going for treats tonight.  You might want to offer Don some suggestions about things you like when you need to calm down."  He smiled. "Of course he is.  Don's here.  Danny's somewhere.  Thanks, man."  He hung up, texting that to Don.  Danny was doing the movies.  Don headed out to do the bath shop.  Horatio was hugging Xander so it was all good.

***

Don met Danny in the driveway, smiling at him.  "We good on movies?"

"Got all the ones we lost plus another seven Greg suggested."  He hauled the bags inside, glancing in at Xander and Horatio.  "Hey, Xander, I got the movies that they couldn't get back."  Xander nodded from the cuddle he was getting.  "Thanks, Horatio."  He nodded, letting Danny sit on Xander's other side to steal him.  "Hey, mine."  Xander looked at him.  "It's not really cuddling in bed so I guess I can let you snuggle.  Not the same," he offered with a small grin.  Xander snuggled into his side, getting comfortable.  "Don's doing something with the hot tub."  Horatio smiled and stood up.  "We good, boss?"

"We're fine, Danny.  He needed to heal over that incident plus all the other stresses.  He didn't want to burden you two."  He stroked over Xander's hair.  "Behave and call later if you need to talk."  Xander nodded.  "Good boy."  He smiled and walked out, heading back to the office.

Don came in, squatting down in front of Xander.  "Come soak with us?"

"Soak in the tub?"

"Hot tub," he said with a grin.  "Got a suggestion from Speed and I wanted to try it out."  He pulled Xander up and walked him out there, helping him strip and get into the tub.  Xander sniffed then moaned.  It was his favorite fruity oil plus bubbles.  He sat behind him, doing his shoulders.  Danny came out and stripped, climbing in with him.  "We'll take turns."  Xander cuddled in again, letting Don shift to get his shoulders better.  It was nice.  Xander was finally calming down.  "How's the horses?"

"Good.  I checked them before I went to check on the weapons.  They were fine and out grazing.  The barns held up to the last storm really well.  The foal is huge."  He grinned at him.  "Hubert kept staring up at him like he was surprised he was so huge."  Don nodded, stroking over his hair.  "I got him into his saddle again this morning and he still hates it but he didn't buck this time, only rubbed and tried to shake it off.  We're making a lot of progress."

"Good," Don praised.  "You're doing a great job with them, Xander."  Xander smiled at that.  "I called Steve and he is making sure that the guys get lunch today since they're all so miserable."

"Kinda jealous too," Danny admitted.  "Mac's team goes on vacation next week."

"The detectives that didn't go at the same time we did too,"  Don agreed.   He went back to his back massage, smiling when Xander yawned.  "If you need to nap, go ahead."  Xander nodded, snuggling in better to nap on Danny.  They smiled.  That should be enough to spoil Xander back into his GHS side.  His talk with Horatio had helped.  "Remember, you can talk to us too, Xander," he said gently.

"Will," he mumbled.  "Challenge?"

"Is there one?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded, frowning against his shoulder.  "We'll handle it."

"Ryan might be," Don admitted.  He called him.  "Wolfe, taking Xander's challenges is our job, not just yours.   Where am I going today and when?"

Danny took the phone.  "It's my turn.  You took the last two."

Ryan was complaining that it was his job.  Somewhere in the background they could hear Eric complaining about something but they were going to fight about who got to take the next one.  They kept it up even after Xander fell asleep.  It was comforting to him and them.

***

Danny looked at the guy across from him.  "So you wanted my boyfriend?"

"Yes.  Where is he?"

"Napping.  It's better if we don't make him fight again this week.  Handling that thing in LA a few weeks back was bad for him.  His berserker tendencies are too close to the surface."  The man gave him an odd look.  "They are."

"The one with the hair is a berserker?"

Danny nodded.  "Yeah, Xander is."

"That's the one who does that odd style?"  Danny smirked and nodded.  "Did you learn?"

"Only guys like Xander can do it."

"Oh."  He just nodded at that.  "This is unorthodox."

"The family doesn't take any without another of us being there.  Especially him.  We save Xander for the massive threats instead of the little things."  Don walked in still fighting with Ryan about who was going to take this fight.  "We settled this earlier, boys.  He's mine!"  He looked at the challenger.  "You warmed up yet?"

"Um...  I really only want that one's head."

"Tough. You get Xander through us," Ryan said dryly.   "Feel really lucky we have honor or you'd already be gone.  Ares would be very pissed with me if I attacked without warning.  Fair warning," he said, pulling his sword.

"Hey, mine!" Don complained.  Xander walked in and gave them a confused look.  "Aren't you supposed to be napping?"

"He challenged me," he complained.

"See, I knew I challenged him," the guy said.  "Come on, little boy."  Xander flipped him off and looked at his family.  "Hey!  That's rude!"

Xander glared at him then shot him.  "Shut up."  He looked at his boys again.  "I can take my own challenges."

Don kissed him hard and fast.  "We pretty well all agreed we're tired of being protected and it's time we protected you, not the other way around."  He kissed him again, getting a gentle smile for it.  "Sit down, Xander."  He sat down on a crate, looking at him.  He walked over to look at the guy then at Danny.  "Mine."

"Shut up," he said, smirking at him.  "It's my turn.  Wolfe got the last two.  You got the two before then.  It's my turn!"

"I can," Xander reminded them.

"No, you can't," Danny and Don said together.  "Ours."  He looked at Don again.  "It's my turn."

Don pouted.  "But I need the practice."

"We'll practice later.  We have a great practice space thanks to Xander."

"We do," he agreed, making Xander smile.  "We need to call another family sparring match anyway.  Adam isn't practicing.  Ray hasn't had time.  I haven't had time.  You and Wolfe haven't."

"Good point," Danny agreed.  The guy on the floor gasped and got up, holding his newly healed chest.  "Go sit down with Xander," he ordered, taking a kiss.  Don pouted.  "Tough.  You got the two before Wolfe.  Wolfe got the last two.  It's my turn!  Go wait with Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  He looked at the guy. "Wolfe, get the doors."

"Of course," he complained, going to do that.

"You know, I wanted to see his unique style," the guy complained, rubbing his chest.

"Then you'd try ta jump what's ours," Don called.  "Then we'd turn your body into paste before taking your head."

"Uh-huh."

"It is very erotic," Ryan agreed from his watching spot.  The gunshot might've brought someone.  He walked out at the cruiser, waving him off.  "Accidental fire.  I've already checked.  I'm chewing the guy a new one."  That got a nod and he reported that then went off again.  Ryan walked back inside and closed the door, still keeping an ear out for anyone else coming up to investigate.  "Are we on or not?"

"You won't win against me," the guy sneered.  "I'm incredibly ancient.  I'm Methos."

"Really?  Meth's at home making a pot roast today, he called to see if we had any sage," Danny said dryly.  "We know him and his lover.  Nice try though."  He attacked and he knew he was rough.  Especially seeing the wince on Don and Ryan's face.  "I haven't had much time to practice," he defended.  "This is good practice."  He took a wild swing and used it to get out from the guy's lunge then got him from behind, stabbing him in the back.  He took his head, then stepped away from the body, sighing a bit as the quickening hit him.

"What the hell?" a female voice said from the other entrance to the building.

Ryan looked over then waved.  "He attacked CSI Messer."

"And the lightening storm?" she demanded, stomping inside, her uniform pressed and shiny.

"Ask Taylor," Don said dryly.  "He handles this issue."

She sneered.  "Who're you?"  He pulled his badge.  So did Danny and Ryan.  She groaned.  "I'm going to be seeing Internal Affairs, aren't I?  Ten weeks on the force and I'm already going to have to deal with IAB."

"No," Danny said, looking at her.  "Not over us."  She sneered and stomped off to call. "We should stop her."

"Stetler knows," Xander pointed out.  "He's a halfie."  He shrugged.  "He asked me point blank if I was an immie or not one day."  He called him.  "Stetler, it's Harris.  We had a rookie brat find one of us taking a head.  She's calling the tip line now.  Can you come instead?  Sure, tell Mac please?"  He smiled and hung up.  "That way Mac can handle it since he's your watcher, Danny."

"Gee, thanks."

Stetler stomped in a few minutes later with the rookie.  "You're all...."

"Watch me salt you and then find the gas can," Ryan warned.  Stetler sneered.  "We ran into some other hunters too.  They told me how they do things when we talked at the convention."

Stetler moaned, looking at Xander.  "Who took it?"  He pointed at Danny.  He looked at him.  "You are?"  He nodded.  "How long?"

"Two."

"Years?"

"No.  He claimed he's someone else too.  Tried to scare me with it.  Fortunately we know the guy he claimed to be, he's making a pot roast tonight.  He wanted to see what Xander could do."

Stetler looked at him.  "Too delicate to take your own?" he sneered.

"Berserker," Xander said simply.  Stetler went pale.  "I try.  I do take my own but apparently my family has a conspiracy to make sure I don't have to fight."

Don gave him a hug.  "Of course we do.   We want you to be okay and too much fighting can make you go wrong in the head."  He kissed him on the head. Then he looked at Stetler.  "Taylor?"

"The one I know about.  He's waiting."

"We know about Taylor," Don told him.

"I know one in Robbery."  He called him.  "Come in.  This is a strange group."  The same detective walked in.  "Messer did it."

"Mac does mine," he told him, getting a groan.  "He was going insane in New York with me, Don, and Xander."

"I can see why."  He looked at Wolfe.  "You are?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Since....."

"The first time I got taken with Xander.  I trained with some priests of Ares thanks to another time we got taken together."

That just got a nod.  "I'll have to look at all your chronicles.  Who's the rookie?"

"She walked in because Xander shot the guy while we were arguing over who would take the challenge," Don admitted.  He looked at Xander.  "Silencer?"

"I can't find them.  Calleigh hid them on me again."

The robbery detective held up a hand.  "You're *all*...."

Xander nodded, grinning some.  "Yup.  Stella does mine.  They're training her with me."

"I'll keep that in mind.  How old is everyone?  Stetler, knock her out."  Xander tossed over something.  "That's....."

"Demonic."  Stetler released it and the rookie passed out.  He looked at him.  "I'm a berserker and the guys have a conspiracy to keep me from having to fight."

"Does the whole lab know?"

"Now and then paper cuts happen," Danny said dryly.  "But no.  Caine, Speedle, Tripp."

That just got a nod.  "Anyone else in the family, like Delko, Kowalski, those ones?"

"Ask them yourself," Stetler told him.  "Deal with this."

"What about her?"

"Up to you.  She came in complaining that she'd have to see him," Don told him.  He shrugged.  "Xander, is there something that can take her memory?"

"I'd have to ask for a favor."  He looked at Stetler.  "Can you?"

"Not my people's thing."  He called one of the DPP people down to ask him if they had something to do that with.  They erased the last few hours from her then they left while the body got taken away by the clean-up team.  He looked at them once the Watcher had gone to talk to Mac and Stella.  "I know about them.  A lot of us do."  They all nodded.  "I'm sure you're aware of that thanks to those who want Harris.  Who else is?"

"Kowalski.  Eric," Ryan admitted.  "This isn't going to be put around, right?"  He got sneered at.  "You can go work for the DPP."

"I doubt it."

Xander grinned. "I can ask for that favor."

"No.  Thanks anyway," he said, glaring at him.  "How many do we take?"

"I've had three since we got here," Xander said, looking at Don.

"Two."

"Four," Danny admitted.

"Seven not counting the times with Xander," Ryan admitted.  Stetler moaned.  "They come for Xander and he shouldn't fight.  If he loses it we're all in deep shit.  Plus we'd be without Xander," he said, making Xander grin at him.  "I'd miss you if you turned into some animal."  He looked at him again.  "They hear that Xander's got skills and he's cute, plus he's got money.  So they show up to try him since they heard he's open to teaching others.  None of them want trained.  They blatantly challenge."

Stetler just nodded.  "How many more are in the city?"

"Three," Don said.  "We're all peaceful as long as you don't challenge us.  I've talked a few out of it."

"I had one of those," Xander agreed.  Stetler moaned.  "Not like we go looking, Stetler.  They come to us.  I've had one try to challenge me in front of Ray Junior in a grocery store parking lot."

"The yelping one," Danny remembered.  Xander nodded.

Stetler sighed, shaking his head.  "Go away."  They nodded, heading for the other exit.  "Be more circumspect."

"Yes, sir," they all called.

"Movie?" Don suggested.

"Movie might be nice," Ryan agreed.  Danny shrugged at that.  "Chinese or pizza while we watch?"

"I could stand that," Xander agreed.  "The new ones?"

Don smiled.  "Sure.  You can pick.  It's your turn."  Xander beamed and bounced to hug him.  It was good he was coming back to himself.

Stetler stomped off to have a drink.  That whole group would be making him an alcoholic sometime soon.  Fortunately they'd be leaving in a decade or so when they aged out of their current identities.

***

Mac looked up at the knock to his office door.  "Come."  The robbery detective walked in.  "What's wrong?"

"Messer took a head," he said quietly, closing the office door behind himself.  "I had the clean up crew deal with it."

Mac smiled.  "Thank you for that.  How did you know about me?"

"Stetler called me about them being found by a rookie cop."

Mac moaned.  "Why?"

"They were arguing over who got the challenge and Harris apparently shot him briefly so they'd have time to argue."  Mac moaned, rubbing his head.  "Messer won and she saw him taking the quickening.  She called IAB, someone called Stetler since he knew.  He came over to deal with it.  Saw Wolfe, Flack, Harris, and Messer there."  Mac nodded, leaning back to look at him.  "Stetler was asking who else was."

"Xander will skin him if he ever shares another secret about the family," he assured him.  "He's a berserker, he can do that."

"So he admitted.  They take his challenges?"

"Xander was the reason the slave auction in LA became so messy.  Took him three tries but that mess was him losing it."  The other watcher shuddered.  "Anything else?"

"If your girl's still in training, I've got reports backlogged she can file for me."

Mac smiled.   "So do I.  She's only doing Xander's.  I'll ask her.  We get next week off."  That got a nod.  "Any others?"

"No, this was another case of trying the new teacher syndrome. They said the guy claimed to be someone they knew who is at home making a pot roast.   How many others are in town?"

"A few.  It's the ones who come in that cause problems.  Oh, Xander's offered to train another one in the GHS network as well.  He and his brother will be showing up soon and he's new.  Under a year."

"Interesting.  You got him or would you like me to?"

"Stella can while he's local.  What we know so far is that they travel a lot being roving demon hunters."  The guy whimpered at that.  "Then again, Stetler's a halfie."

"Wonderful!"  He rubbed his forehead.  "Do they make you have headaches?  I saw him last night at the fence's shop."

"Yup.  Him, his dogs, his ferrets....  They're a nightmare for the network but I value and like Xander as a friend."

"Good.  He has ferrets too?"  Mac smiled and nodded.  "Interesting.  I met the dogs."  Mac smiled at that.  "Anyway, this is the guy that Messer took."  He tossed over the information sheet.  "Who's the new guy?"  Mac dug out that sheet and handed it over.  He looked it over then him.  "I looked up Harris.  Sounds familiar."

"Same business.  That's why Xander volunteered."

"Fine."  He handed it back.  "Let me know if she can help me.  If not, I'm going to retire and hand it all to Joe."  He walked off shaking his head.

Mac took the briefing sheet and made a note in his personal files then sent an announcement to Joe about the fight and the fight over who got to take the fight.  He'd let Stella do the official entry later.

He and the other Watchers in town needed to have a talk anyway.  Things were getting too tangled with him doing Danny, Don, and Sheldon.  Plus he was hearing Methos rumors again.

***

Adam walked into Xander's house later that night, frowning.  "The idiot today said he was me?"  Danny nodded.  "How adorable of him," he said sarcastically.

Danny shrugged.  "He thought it'd make us scared."

Methos snorted, shaking his head.  "Charming."  He sat down and put his feet up, looking at Xander.  "Tired?"  Danny smiled and nodded.  "Has he calmed down?"

"Today.  How was the pot roast?"

"Very good.  I outdid myself.   What did Steve send for lunch?"

"He sent in three huge gift certificates to a pizza place, a chinese place, and a sandwich place with orders to feed the poor displaced people at the temporary mixed station.  They ended up paying about twenty but that was donated by someone else."  That got a smile.  "We're doing good."  He stroked his fingers through Xander's hair.  "He was still having issues with what happened in LA the last time."

"I heard."  He looked at him.  "Having been there, that level of anger is not fun.  Your soul aches when it remembers."  Danny nodded at that wisdom.  "He only has to go there when he's in serious danger, and so is the family.  He has other means normally."

"We made sure he realized it."  He smiled down at his boy then at Methos again.  "Any idea when the boys are getting here?"

"Not for a bit.  They're driving.  Dean said he had a few things to do.  He still doesn't believe he's a pre-immortal."

"He'll learn like the others have," Danny said wisely.  "How's Oz?"

"He's decent enough.  I do know that Sam stopped up there to talk to him about how he had changed.  Plus to help Buffy with something major.  I warned him ahead of them thankfully."  Danny nodded at that.  "How is he doing beyond that confusion?"

"He's fine.  We spent the morning in bubbles in the hot tub.  Don gives great neck massages.  The horses are fine."

"Good."  He put his feet down and stood up.  "Let me know if we have any problems?"

"How many watchers in town and is Mac mad I outed him and Stella?"

"He could've found out from Joseph.  The dinner was quite enlightening.  I'm not the only immortal in the Watchers.  We had a nice dinner, we talked about the problems this family creates, and Mac pointed out that we're happy and it's rather necessary, plus we enjoy it being cooperative.  They complained, Stella is now over him and Sam when he shows up.  Dean if he changes over while they're in Miami.  Another one now takes Eric and my Raymond.  And me if they knew about me or if I took challenges."  He smiled.  "I heard someone was claiming to be Theodonius."

"I'm sure Oz was pissed," Danny said dryly.  Methos gave him a look.  "Yeah, figured it out, old fart."  He grinned.  "Not that hard."

"Good point.  He has started a new life however.  So I'll leave you with that good news."

"Is Mac doing me, Don, Sheldon, and Ryan?"

"Sheldon is rarely found fighting.  Don and Ryan aren't that hard and Stella's working on yours with him."  He walked out happier.  He'd have taken the idiot's head for claiming to be him.

Danny went back to petting his boy.  The dogs were on the ottomans and comfy.  The tv was back on the wall and the comedy channel was showing something decent.  Don was asleep in the theater for now but it'd be okay.   He checked the ferrets.  They were fine too.  It had been a long day.  He yawned, then smiled and shifted to cuddle around Xander.  They could just barely fit and Xander shifted to be warm against him so it was perfect.  He turned down the tv and fell asleep cuddling his boy.  It was good for them.

Sneaking Around The Plans

Ryan walked around his apartment, fretting.  "I have no idea what I'm doing for my next life," he admitted finally.  He looked at his buddy, Danny, who was over to help him with this.  "I do okay with the business stuff but it bores me to tears."

"Then open a dojo or something," Danny offered patiently.  Ryan smirked a bit at that.  "If the crazier Macleod can do it, so can you."

"Good point.  That takes money though.  I don't want to hit Xander up for a loan."

Danny snorted.  "What makes you think he hasn't already thought of that and put plans in place with Steve?"

"He has?"

"No clue," Danny admitted.  "It's possible though."

"Good point.  I guess I could go with the business stuff and keep up with the horses."  Danny nodded at that.  "I love my horses."

"I know you do. You spend as much time as Xander does with them," he said dryly.  He was still irked.  Xander had spent last night at the barn because he had worn himself out breaking in the foal he had adopted a few years back from the ASPCA.  He had no idea how Xander had learned how to saddle train a horse, but it was Xander and he knew he had some strange contacts.   "Steve'll need someone to do stuff for him probably."

"Good point."  He sat down, looking at him.  "I'm still bored to death by the numbers."

"That can happen.  No one says you have to stay in it forever and ever, Wolfe.  It's a good skill to have later on anyway.  That way you can handle the financial stuff since you're probably going to be one of the older of us."

"Good point."  He leaned back, frowning some.  "I guess I could.  Steve's been yanking his hair out for some reason."

"That reason is usually Xander," Danny said dryly.  "The same reason you do but probably for a different cause."   He stood up.  "Why was he looking downtown?"

"Not a clue," Ryan admitted.

"Fine.  I'll ask the guy myself."  He smirked at him.  "Just think, if you do go for the money stuff, the life after this one Don wants to open a club."

"So I can do the books cheaply for him too?" he teased back.

"Sure can," Danny agreed happily.  "Saves me from doing it."  Ryan laughed at that.  "Feel better?"

"Yup.  Thanks, Danny."

"Welcome, Ryan."  He headed back home, going to find his boy.  "Hey, Xander?" he called as he walked into the kitchen.  "Why have you been looking at downtown buildings?" he called.  "And why is Steve pulling his hair out again?"

"No clue," Don called back.  "He's napping."  Danny joined them in the living room once he had a drink, sitting down on Xander's other side.  He was curled up with his head in Don's lap.  "He caught the flu off that one guy at the station so he's felt miserable for the last few hours.  He's napping off the last of it."

"Naps are good," Danny said, getting comfortable to watch the news.  "Tell me the DEA isn't trying some stunt nearby?"

"Across town.  They're being mean this month according to rumors.  They're tired of the drug pipelines and think they have a clue."

"Not always," Danny admitted.  He sipped his juice, watching them bust into a house and arrest people on live tv.  "While that's pretty and all, they don't all look like druggies."  He took another sip.

"They have the theory that if one person in a house does drugs they all do it," Don reminded him.  "Hence the seizure laws."

"Good point."  He finished his juice, putting down the glass before taking Xander to cuddle him.  "He been okay today?"

"He's been fine.  Think he's making evil plans or just plans?"

"Not real sure.  With Steve pulling out his hair I'm guessing he's adding to the money again somehow."

"Maybe," Don admitted.  "He's not playing poker for money."

"No, we know he's not," Danny agreed.  He looked down, seeing the brown eyes looking at him.  "Why is Steve pulling out his hair?"

"I'm helping with Ryan's next planned life.  He thinks I'm being too obvious since it's an emergency hiding spot for us."

"That's why you've been looking at buildings downtown?"  Xander nodded.  "Any other plots and plans we should know about?"

"Not really."  He took a kiss.  "Cuddly today?"

"You looked like you could use one."  He smiled.  "When will we see it?"

"When Ryan moves."

"Ah."  He stroked over his back.  "That's fine.  He was arguing with himself about not really liking the investment stuff."

"I know."  He grinned.  "Steve'll go help Jace his next life and Ryan will take his place for at least a few years, until he's driven nuts by Las Vegas and Ryan's driven nuts by the numbers.  Then they'll switch and Ryan will go to a different thing."

"Even better."  Danny stroked over his back.  "Have any plans for tonight?"

"Dinner?"  He shifted up to sit in his lap, taking a kiss.  "We could use a good dinner out."

"We could," Don agreed.  "Let's get dressed and go."  Xander hopped up to do that.  They smiled and went to dress up.  Their boy needed a night out and so did they.  It was good for them.  It kept Xander from pouting too.  Even when his phone rang.  "Flack.  Didn't know I was on-call, Mac, but okay.  What's up?"  He kissed Xander.  "You and Danny go.  I'll join you later at the club."  Xander nodded, going back to getting pretty for them while Danny finished his showering and changing rituals.  Don pulled on a decent shirt and grabbed what he needed.  "Where?"  He nodded.  "Give me twenty, Mac."  He hung up and took another kiss before heading out.

Danny and Xander finished feeding the animals before going out then went to have some fun.  It was Miami, it was a city built for naughty fun for the pretty people.

***

Don looked at the body then at Mac.  "You wondering if it's coincidence?" he asked finally.

"No.  I know it's not."  He handed over something he had bagged earlier.  Don read it then nodded slowly.  "Whoever that guy was that Xander ended up getting for hurting Hubert is out and he wants Danny."

"Interesting."  They looked at the corpse that had been Sonny Sassone and then sighed.  "I'll tell him."

"We need to figure out who that guy was."

"We have the security footage in the case file."

"Good."  He smirked.  "Where is he?"

"Out with Xander.  I'll tell them in the morning.  If something happens tonight, Xander's got it."  That got a nod.  "By the way, warn Ryan he's making plans for him now too."

"I can do that."  He finished the scene and followed the body back to the temporary lab.  This was not a good omen for a happier month than last month but they could hopefully stop the stupid person before Xander had to get...creative.  They all hated it when he turned from GHS cuddly one to warrior Xander with a 'tude.  It really did ruin his and Horatio's day.

***

Don sat his lovers down over breakfast, looking at them.  "Remember the guy who stabbed Hubert?"  They both nodded, Xander nibbling on some toast.  It was early for him to be up.  He usually slept in another hour.  "He's out and he stabbed Sonny.  Gutted him."  Xander dropped his toast.  "Told you you didn't wanna eat," he reminded him.

"I should probably go to the funeral for form's sake," he said, frowning some.

"Oh, no," Danny said.

"He was a poker buddy.  He did bring some amusement into my life.  I robbed him blind many games for gas money."  Don snickered at that.  "He used to swear at me a lot for doing it too.  I usually ended up letting him keep enough to pay his dinner tab."  He frowned.  "Is he coming here?"

"He left a message on him for Danny that he'd be seeing him soon."

"He never did say why he wanted to talk to him," Xander pointed out.

"Nope," Don agreed.

"Okay.  Do we have his picture and things?"

"Mac's got it coming from that case."  That got a nod.  "Xander, be careful."

"I'll be at the farm all morning then helping Ryan's next life this afternoon."

"What are you helping him with?" Danny asked.

"Just this and that."

"Have you told him this yet?" Danny asked patiently.

"No.  It's our emergency spot until he needs it.  After all, he does stupid stuff."

"Good point," Don agreed.  He looked at Danny.  "You good?"

"I'm fine."

"Good.  Then let's head in.  I've got my bike today.  Danny?"

"I'll drive in my car.  They say mean things when I catch a ride on the back," he teased.

"Good point."   He grinned and they both kissed Xander on the head before leaving him there with the pets and his day's plans.  At least it was giving him something to do.  He loved the animals.  Maybe some year they'd get his hormones down enough and he'd be a vet or something.  He did good with them.

***

Xander walked into the loft apartment he had decided on, smiling at the contractor that had worked on his garage.  He liked the guy a lot.  He was still having problems breaking into the local business because he didn't have many proof jobs and he ran a small crew, but he was honest.  He did good work.  He humored him when he wanted to work beside them.  "Hey."

"Mr. Harris.  A hidey-hole?"

"Yup.  Just in case.  Then it'll go to a friend when he decides to dump his current guy and move on."  That got a smile and a nod.  "How's business been?"

"I'm hoping this is a longer job than your garage," he admitted.

Xander nodded. "I can see that."  He looked around.  "You're going to have some work.  I want it a lot more open.  Wood floors, real wood not cheap wood.  A good kitchen because he can cook but he's kinda lazy when it's just him.  Think about it being like my practice space in the house but bigger."  That got a smile.  The guy had admired the construction on the practice room when he had asked him to borrow the ladder to change a light bulb but the guy had done it for him.  He patted a stone column wall.  "I'm not sure if they're structural or decorative but they remind me of a church and they're kinda ugly."

"If they're structural there's many things we can replace them with."  He sat down with his laptop so he could pull up pictures of other choices.  They decided on the wood fairly quickly.  The kitchen too.  This one was going to be a bit more modern.  Very open.  Very comfortable and warm instead of glass and metal but still fairly modern.  It'd take them a good month of work to get it perfectly correct for him but it was a job he needed.  Plus Xander agreed he could use it as a proof job.  Which his people needed to get more work.  They signed the papers and Xander handed him money.  Not a check, cash.  He gave him a look.  "Bank run?"

"Yeah.  Bored."  That got a smile.  "Had to buy some animal food anyway."  He grinned. "This your only one?"

"For the moment.  There's hope there's more coming."  Xander nodded, giving him a pat on the shoulder.  "I know, it picks up after the hurricanes but this year was pretty tame so there wasn't a lot of damage."

"That's a good and a bad thing for Miami," he admitted.  "Then again, the guys who did the house's renovations protested when we had the guy who tagged the house arrested. I like you guys more."  That got a smile and a nod.  "So, start whenever you can?"

"Of course.  Electric?"

"It's on.  Water's on but I had to turn off the bathroom.  It's cracked in the extreme."  That got a nod.  "It'll be a good few weeks' work to get it straightened out correctly."

"I hope we can do it up to expectations."

"You did with my work area."  He stood up.  "Now, go tell your boys the good news."  He smiled and went to do that.  His guys had been day laboring for his old boss until he found them a new job.  It'd be good for them to come back to work.  Xander looked around the loft.  It was a beautiful space and with some extras it'd be even better.  Ryan would love this and the built-in bookshelves would make a wonderful altar area.  That's why he had designed the lower area with the free wall behind it.  He stood up and went to get the animal food to take out to the farm then headed back home to spoil his ferrets and dogs rotten.  Hubert was napping and grumpy again.  He really was going to have to get ready to send him back to his home realm for a bit.  He'd be happier back there with the real dragons instead of him pretending to be a dragon.

***

Danny smirked at the guy who walked up to him in the park.  "That was easy," he said dryly.

"Not hardly.  We have ta talk," he said in a New York accent.

"About?"

"Many things."

"Then talk."

"This is much too open and I'm sure you're recording or something."  Danny shook his head.  "You sure?"

"Very.  I'm on lunch.  I expected a lot more hunting to find you."

"Your parents want a word."

"I don't care."

"You should."

"My real parents died a while back."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "I don't care."  The man took a step back.  "What did they want to talk about?"

"You disgracing the family with that little boy of yours," he sneered.

"You mean the one who stabbed you?" he asked dryly.  "Xander's not some little party boy.  If he was, I wouldn't put up with him.  Not that I care since they went thug."

"We'll see who cares about what, Daniel."  He backed up.  He also ran into a few patrol officers.  "Out for lunch?" he sneered.

Danny held up his phone.  "Never said I wouldn't call the boss to tell 'im I'd be late."  The man tried to run but the officers grabbed him.  "He's wanted for homicide charges, guys."  They nodded, taking the struggling man to the cruiser.  He waved after him.  "Tell them I said hi."  He went back to his trek for lunch.  Don and he met here to talk about personal stuff on lunch.  He flopped down.  "Guy just came up to me saying my parents wanted to talk."

"Then why gut Sonny?"

"Apparently retirement wasn't in my father's plans," he said dryly.  "I don't care.  You talk to Steve?"

"Yeah.  He said Xander bought a nice, decently sized loft space and is having it renovated for our emergency use and then Ryan's use.  He hired the same guys that did the garage.  Steve said it's a really nice space."  That got a nod as Danny opened his sandwich.  They both got down to eating.  With their jobs, they never got a full lunch before someone called.  "He said Xander's been stocking out at the farm again too.  That's why he was pulling his hair out."

"More horses?"

"No.  Horse food and hay.  He had no idea hay was so expensive.  He said horses are more expensive than dragons."  That got a small smirk.  "Even running the race track hadn't been that expensive according to him.  Xander spoils the horses too."  That got a nod and  a smirk.  "We should go riding this weekend."

"We can do that," he agreed.  He ate another bite and chewed quickly.  "Picnic?"

"Sounds good.  If we can manage it."  That got a nod and another bite eaten.  "Any word yet on the station?"

"Late next month.  Clean up's nearly done."

"Thank God."  He finished his sandwich and grabbed his water to drink.  "Anything else going on?"

"Think Ryan knows?"

"No.  Steve said he didn't."

"Think we should tell him?"

"Probably."  He smirked.  "Xander thinks the boys are coming soon.  So he'll have Sam to teach for a while.  Less boredom."

"Wonder if he'll bring them out to the farm too."

"Probably could.  They might like horses.  They're midwest boys.  Montana does."

"Yeah, she's been begging Ryan to let her go for a ride on Princess.  She's scared of Xander's horse."

"Xander's horse is a big sucker but pretty sweet.  Even if he does like to stick his nose down Stella and Horatio's shirts."  Danny snickered and broke open his water to sip.  "Think we'll have to worry about the students?"

"Nah.  They're in the same business our boy was.  They'll be fine."  He finished up and balled up the bag his sandwich had been in.  "I miss Xander bringing lunches."

"Me too," Don admitted.  "Think we could talk him into it?"

"Probably."  That got a grin and they headed back to work.  Danny looked at Horatio.  "He say anything other than my family wanted a discussion?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "What is your spouse doing?"

"Emergency plans and somewhere for Ryan when he gets tired of his present place."  Ryan looked over from his desk, leaning back to look at him fully.  He smirked.  "Steve said it's nice but it's under some renovations."

"Uh-huh."  He just nodded.  "That's nice of your boy.  He bored again?"

"He's been stocking up on horse food and stuff at the farm too.  That's what's been driving Steve nuts."

Ryan smirked a bit.  "I'll go look out there and ask about this place."  He sat up straight again to get back to his paperwork.  Xander was a good friend to have but he spoiled *way* too much.

Horatio pulled Danny aside.  "Emergency plans?"

"Like the house out in the woods at the farm," he agreed.

"Hmm.  Same contractors as did your house?"

"The garage.  He likes them a lot.  They needed proof jobs too."

"Even better."  He smiled a bit, shaking his head. "Your boy does spoil the family horribly."

"He does.  But it's good for him to not be bored.  Not like he'll be broke from it this century."

"No, not any century soon," he agreed dryly.   "Do you think it'd be possible for me and Speed to borrow the horses this weekend?"

"We were planning on a picnic ourselves but go for it.  You want Saturday or Sunday?"

"Sunday.  We have it off."

"Sure.  Go for it.  He's got the new one to accept the saddle and is working on breaking him to ride now."

"Even better.  Mr. Wolfe?"  He leaned back again.  "May we borrow Princess this weekend on Sunday?"

"Sure, go for it, H."  He sat up again to get back to work.

Horatio smiled.  "Thank you."  He looked at Danny.  "Going for a late, sunset one?"

"Probably since we're both on."  He walked off.  "Gotta get back to the Demeritt homicide, boss."

"Please let me know how that turns out."  He went back to his own case.  That thug was going to bother him until he was back in prison.  He hoped no stupid judge gave him bail but one never knew.

***

Xander looked around his kitchen.  He had been doing stocking shopping again and now he had a house full of food and was bored stupid.  So he pulled out the new recipes he had found and got to work making some for the freezers.  That was easier after a heavy day of work and play.  He put together ten different dishes within an hour and put them into the freezer once they were sealed in the vacuum bags.  That way nothing would get freezer burn.  Then he got to work cleaning up his mess.  He could make some other stuff too.  His favorite recipe site had a new snack mix recipe so he had to run out and get the stuff for that.  He got back and got to work on that one, making himself not eat it all when it came out.

It was good.  Chocolatey but salty at the same time was excellent.  He made more of it, putting it in cute gift jars for Calleigh and Tim.  They both liked to nibble.  He checked the clock and frowned.  Don and Danny wouldn't be home for three hours.  Night shift still had to work tonight too.  Danny might even be late since he had caught a homicide earlier in the day.  So he decided to make the station dinner.  He pulled out his bigger pans, getting to work on something that would feed everyone and most everyone would like.  He loved making rolls by hand, he had discovered that a few months back, and today was no exception so he started a batch of those and then got to work on the main dish portion.  It'd be good for the officers.  Ten pans and one huge pot of pasta and sauce later he loaded up his SUV and headed to the temporary station.  There he ran into a small snag.  They knew him but it was someone from Mac's precinct.  "Hi," he said, signing in.  "I'm bringing dinner."

"Sir, your boys are on dayshift," she said patiently.

Xander looked at her then snickered.  "I know that.  I spoil them by making lunch all the time.  It keeps me from being so bored."  He smiled at a familiar face.  "Jessop, I brought dinner.  There's like ten pans and a huge pot of spaghetti and sauce."  That got a grin and he got a few of the officers to come help him.  Most of them from the other precinct but that was fine.  He carried in the pot since it was heaviest.  They put things in the make-shift break room then he went to get the box of paper plates and bowls, plus spoons and forks, he had stopped to buy on the way in.  "Here we go."  The patrol shift supervisor and Stella both walked in.  "Dinner."

"I love you," she said, giving him a hug.  "Thanks, Xander."  She opened the foil and sniffed then moaned.  "Oh, I love you."

"Now if only I still swung your way," he teased with a bright grin.

She laughed.  "Pretty stiff competition on both sides, Xander."  She leaned out of the break room.  "Xander brought dinner!"  The patrol guys and detectives started to line up for food, letting him escape.  She smiled at the confused looking officers.  "He does it for the lab his boys work in all the time.   The gift certificates came from his accountant."  She looked at the meat dishes.  "Hey, Wolfe, we need a knife to cut meat," she called.

He walked in his favorite hunting knife.  "That should do and it's clean.  I sterilized it earlier for my kit."  He unwrapped the boxes of plates and bowls, letting the guys grab some while Stella delicately sliced the roasts and dished out pasta for them.  He walked off much happier. Afternoon patrol was in and getting fed, so were the guys getting ready to go home for the night.  Don smirked.  "Xander's been cooking and it'll be hours before I get home."  He ate another bite as he walked.  "Xander brought food!" he shouted into the lab section.  They all went running to get their own before it was gone.  Speed gave him an amused look.  "He did."

"I'm cooking tonight," he said dryly.  "Horatio doesn't need it."  He watched him walk past eating a bowl of pasta and sauce.  "Aren't I cooking?"

"The mayor just called a budget meeting in thirty minutes," he complained, giving him a look.  "I'll be back late."

Speed nodded at that.  "That's fine.  I'll make sure you've got something soothing then.  Chicken, turkey, or beef?"

"Beef?"  He smiled and went to gather the things he needed so he could do the dreaded meeting.

Speed went back to planning dinner.  It was wonderful of Xander to feed them that way.  A few of the officers who had been on their routes had to pout but everyone in the office got some dinner.  By the time he was done he was tired.  He found a small box on his bike's seat and looked at it.  Then at the door guard.  "Someone gave me presents?"

"The goofball with the hair," he said.

"Xander.  Flack's protectee and boy."

"Oh, that's him?"  Speed smirked and nodded.  "No wonder he needs protecting with that hair.  But I guess he gets spoiled with real food all the time."

"We all do," Eric said as he came out.  "Xander brings or gives us lunch at least once a month."  The guard muttered about that.  He was in the wrong precinct.  "Maybe he'll start tossing the other lab a few meals too."  He walked over to look at the box.  "What's that?"

Speed looked before pulling out the jar.  "Snack mix."  He looked at the recipe.  "Looks good."  He opened it and ate a bit, then nodded.  "Very good.  I need this recipe."  He resealed it, put the jar into his saddle bag, then got onto his bike and headed for home to cook.  Horatio would like that snack mix too.  Just enough sweet with the salty.

Eric grinned.  "Xander must be really bored again."  He went to his car so he could go out on his date with Aiden tonight.  No presents in his but he wasn't bothered by it.  All he had to do was ask and he knew that.

Don came in to grab all the empty dishes and take them home since Danny had checked out a hummer for the next few hours.  Talking him into it was pretty easy.  All it took was a kiss.  Then he zipped off on his own bike for home and the dinner that was probably waiting on him.  Sure enough, he had a full plate of warm food waiting on the stove and a semi-naked boy lounging on the couch petting his dogs while he watched a cooking show.  Don sat down under his head and let Xander cuddle him while he ate.  "This is good.  New recipe?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Very good job, Xander."  He ate another bite.  "The guys loved it.  You might have to start making Mac's lab some lunches now and then," he teased.

"I can do that."

"I think they'd appreciate it and the guys need to feel appreciated now and then."  He leaned down to give him a kiss, meeting his boy half-way.  Danny came in with the dishes and put them in the sink then headed back out.  "He'll be home later."

"His is in the fridge.  That's why someone smarter than anyone but Sheldon invented the microwave."

Don snickered.  "Probably true."  He finished up and settled in to lounge with his boy and dogs.   "Why are we stocking stuff?"

"I don't know.  All I know is I felt like it."

"That's fine.  I was hoping it wasn't an invasion or a bad thing."

"No, probably not.  Think I'll end up feeding the boys when they get here?  They say Dean's got an appetite."

"Probably.  Are they staying here?"

"Up to them.  I'll let them have the other house if they want."

"That's fine."  He stroked his stomach, making him a very happy Xander.  The dogs got up when they smelled the rutting scent on the daddy but that was very smart of them.  They knew what the daddies did when that scent came out.  Xander pounced and it was great.  As always.  It was never bad with Xander.

***

Xander went to check on the work, finding his contractor hard at work chewing someone a new one.  He grinned as he walked in.  "Base coat?" he asked, making him jump.

"Wrong base coat," he admitted.  "Easily covered and I'm not going to make you cover for his stupidity, Mr. Harris."

"Xander," he reminded him.  He looked at the guy then at the construction foreman.  "Want me to come back in ten?"

"Not necessary."  He looked at his guy. "You're on probation, remember that."  He nodded, heading back to correct his mistake.  He smiled at his benefactor.  "Coming to check up on us?"

"Seeing if the supports are going to have to be wood poles or not."

"One will but I think we've found a good alternative to something fairly simple and plain."  He walked him to the laptop to show him what he had found.  "That is construction grade, it's pretty, and it's not all that popular so it's not very expensive but it'll go well with the wood for the floor and shelves."

Xander frowned. "No way around it?  Say, moving the bedroom wall this way by a foot?"

"We could but that'll take a lot more work," he warned.

Xander looked at him.  "I have money and you said you've been bored.  Make the bedroom doorway an arch?"

He considered it then nodded.  "That's easy enough to do.  You can find some nice doors for that shape these days."  He hooked into his satellite hookup and looked up the specs he'd need.  "That's actually a lot easier than I thought," he admitted, grinning at him.  "And moving that wall will take about an extra week."

"It's the emergency plans.  Hopefully it won't be needed and I have another one if they are."  That got a nod.  "How much will it add?"

"About a week's work and a few thousand for the door and wall materials."  Xander wrote him out a check, earning a smile.  "I can get the guys to start on that today.  We haven't even started working on that wall yet."

"That's fine.  Jobs go as they go, Peter.  Trust me, been there, done that."  That got a nod and a smirk.  He knew he had been a construction crew foreman for a while before his hormones got out of hand.  He looked at the guy painting.  "Isn't that a bit dark for a base coat?"

He looked then groaned.  "Yup.  Let me stop him."

"Sure."  He left, going back to the house to make some more plans.  Plans were important and now that he had a clearer mind he could go back to planning.  His phone was ringing when he walked in.  "Xander."  He listened then smiled.  "You're welcome, Mac.  Don suggested I should start spoiling you guys about as often as I spoil the other lab anyway.  Besides, I was bored and bored is a bad thing."  That got a laugh.  "We're good, Mac.  Did I make too much or too little?"  He made a mental note about how many more people there were.  "I can do that.  Sure.  Next Saturday?  It's the first and I know it'll be a busy weekend for patrol guys.  Sure, what did you want me to make?"  He made notes on the notepad next to him.  "I can do that very easily and it'll be good for them.  Sure, not an issue.  How many?"  He wrote down a relative number of staffing.  "Lunch is good?"  He nodded, making a note of that too.  "Okay."  He listened.  "How did he get bail?"

He snorted.  "Idiot judge.  I know, but snipers cure them too.  I know it's mean.  I'm having a mean day.  Sorry.  No, I went to look it over and they're doing okay, all but one guy.  I decided to make a last minute correction since it had some structural issues but moving a wall about three feet forward fixed that and no need for a column in the way of things.  Sure, when it's done.  Taunt Ryan and tell him I'll let him do the real estate stuff if he wants instead," he said with a smirk.  "Steve would like that.  Love you too, Mac.  Kiss Stella for me.  No, I'm being good.  I promise I am."  He rolled his eyes.  "Why do I need to do that?  Yearly .... huh?"  He frowned.  "Can't Ray Junior?"  He grinned.  "I like that idea and it'll be a good learning experience for him.  I'll have taught him something beyond how to shop for deals.  Speaking of, do you want anything specific for the holidays?"  He nodded. "That'll work.  Thanks, Mac."  He hung up and got to work planning on when he'd be doing some of the stuff he needed to do.  The poor displaced patrol guys needed some fussing over and he was great at it.  Look at how he fussed over the family!

***

Xander pulled up to the temporary station the next week, smiling at the Chief of Police.  "Lunch for the busy guys," he said happily.  The chief gave him a dirty look.  "Tough shit, Chief," he said with a grin.  "I'm fussing and you wanted me back in fussy husband mode, or that's what you told my boys."  He blushed but nodded.  "So therefore I'm fussing.  They're being horrible this weekend!"  He walked inside and looked around at the empty areas.  "Wow.  Hey, Don, come help me carry!" he yelled when he spotted him.  Don smirked and came out to help him carry up the trays of food.  "These are portable and they can run in and grab one between reports.  There's nineteen dozen so there should be more than enough for two each and some for swing."  He kissed him then smirked.  "Even if the Chief doesn't like it it's good for them."  He walked out, carrying in the last set of boxes.  He put them on the counter and looked.  "Diet and regular, plus some orange because Mac said Stella's been craving."

"Thanks, Xander."

"You're welcome."  He winked. "I'm going to check on that update and then we'll have some for dinner too if you want.  If not, you can pull something out of the freezer."  He strolled out, heading down to his SUV.  He checked the back then the front and the trunk, carrying in another set of trays.  "Missed some," he quipped at the amazed looks.  "It kept me busy for a *whole* day," he said happily, handing them to Don, who staggered.  "Sorry, baby."  He walked out, heading back down to his SUV.  The Chief was still staring at it.  "They made me paint it a different color than my Range Rover was," he quipped.

"Thankfully.  What did you bring?"

"Stuff they can run in and grab then go back out with."  He smirked.  "There's about nineteen dozen so it should be enough for at least two each and leave some for swing or evening."  That got a smile and a nod.  "And hey, it kept me busy for a while."  He climbed in and tooted his horn as he started the engine and backed out.  He went to check on the work going on, finding his construction crew toiling hard.  He smiled at the boss.  "Better?"

"Much.  Thank you, Xander.  They needed this."

"Not an issue."  He gave him a punch to the arm.  "Got one lined up after this or should I ask you guys to help fix the cruise ship?"

"That takes specialized certification," he admitted.  "Just interior stuff?"

"No.  One of the windows got hit with something and it broke.  That whole apartment needs fixed."

"They have special people for that."

"I was thinking about selling it anyway.  I never use it.  It's too big."

"I guess it would be," he agreed, smiling a bit.  "There's people who do those things."

"I know.  I have their number. They asked about it before.  I think I'll call and see if they still want it.  There's three tenants but they won't mind too much.  One's in college and wanted to move on campus so she had more time to study.  The other two are moving in the next few months anyway."  He shrugged.  "So, how's it going?"

"It's going very well.  The new wall is up," he said, letting him look it over.  Xander smiled at the craftsmanship on it.  "Need anything else around the house fixed?"

"Not yet."  He grinned.  "Still nothing?"

"Not yet.  We have a hint of one late next month but they have to get financing.  The guys don't like having to work day work somewhere else because I run a union shop."

Xander considered it.  "Let me see if I can drum up any business."  He smiled and shook his hand.  "Good work so far, Peter."  He left, going to talk to Steve at his place.  His condo was a wreck at the moment.  He was trying to figure out how to decorate it.  "Hey," he said when Steve let him in.  "Peter and the guys are looking for a short term job once they finish mine."

Steve snickered.  "I only need a decorator, Xander."

"Good point but I was thinking maybe a few things?  Maybe better windows?"

"These are highly energy efficient."

"Damn.  The farm doesn't need any work either."

Steve patted him on the back. "I'll ask around."

Xander sat down, staring at him.  "They really need to have a bigger spread, that way they could get more notice.  Eric's dad had to go bigger before he got work too when I talked to Eric about it."

"I can understand why.  People trust a major company more than a little contractor.  Especially with some of the stories of fraud over the last few years."  Xander nodded at that.  "Tell me you aren't considering investing?" he begged.

"Would it be a good one?" he countered.  "Because I still know nothing about investing but as a construction foreman I would've wanted to work for Peter."

Steve sat down to consider it.  "It's not a *bad* idea," he admitted. "I know there's one that's nearly bankrupt that's having issues because this year's storms were so mild."

"That's his problem too."  He leaned forward.  "Did they leave anything hanging?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I can check."  Xander grinned.  "You think Ryan could do real estate?"

"I think he's got a good handle on what a landlord should do.  He's always complaining about his.  The financial stuff you've taught him would go with that.  He could still do your books on the side or even do that after hours."

"It'd give him some extra income too," Steve admitted.  "What about the stupid ship, Xander?"

"I'm going to talk to the people who wanted to buy it before.  She wants to move on campus, the other two are moving for work reasons."  He smiled at that.  "Either that or I'll give it to the city as a floating spousal abuse shelter.  Because no one could get into it if they didn't know where it was."

"That's an odd idea," Steve complained lightly.

"Miami's all about the ocean and the prettiness.  If I can't, I'll ask Horatio if he can ask someone.  See if they think it's a reasonable idea."

"Sure."  Because he'd listen to Horatio about stupid ideas.  "Why do the stocking up?"

"I have no idea.  It felt right."  That got a sigh and a nod.  "It'll be fine, Steve.  I'll even let you lecture Sam about his finances for the future when he's ready to hear it."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "I'll take them to Vegas for the weekend.  Introduce them to Jace's, get them some working money.  They're on the road all the time."

"Tell me they have an RV?"

"That might be a workable solution, even if it is high on gas, but no, they have an Impala.  Dean loves his car.  If I did it that way I'd have an RV.  That way you can store the weapons easier."  Steve snickered at that.  "Honestly!  Plus it's cheaper to camp than to go to motels."

"I love your mind, Xander."

"Thanks," he said with a sweet, naughty grin.  "I made croissant pocket thingies for the station.  Don was in awe of all the baking I've done."

"House too warm to sit in?"

"Yup."  He checked his watch.  "I've got to meet with my poker buddy Jesse."  Steve gave him a disapproving look.  "He's the guy who does the techno stuff."

"I do like his stuff that I've seen."

"He's got a muse problem.  His muse has an idea and no idea what it's doing.  So I'm going to be muse and demon bait."  He stood up.  "Let me know if you know someone Peter could talk to?"

"Of course."  He let him out, going to flop down on his couch for a bit.  Xander sucked the energy out of him sometimes.  He called Don.  "Are they good?"  He heard the mumble through the food.  "Good.  He's going to see the techno poker buddy for a bit.  No, he said he was going to help his muses with a problem.  Sure, I'm here.  Looking at decorators."  He hung up and got back to his browsing various decorator's sites.  He really needed someone who wasn't about the Deco atmosphere down here.

***

Xander slid into bed beside Danny that night, nudging him awake.  He nodded and Danny got up to follow him into the office.  "I talked to Jesse earlier."

"The kid who does the techno stuff?" he asked, looking confused.  He shut the office door and sat down, letting Xander sit in his lap.  "About what?"

"About his ideas.  He's seen Warren's robot and thinks he can improve on it in a lot of ways."  Danny nodded at that slowly.  "And he thinks he can make them and the cyborgs from the island into something that's sellable."

"For?"

"I don't know.  He said he had a lot of ideas.  He had a whole notebook of ideas."  Danny grinned, that sounded like most idea geeks he knew.  "But he can't quite do it with what he has now."  He looked at him.  "Would you or Horatio look at his stuff to see if it's feasible?"

"I can do that," he agreed.  "Send him to see me tomorrow since we don't have it off after all?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "I'll talk to Horatio too, see if he thinks he can.  Probably Monday after his ride."  He gave him a cuddle.  "Did you want to invest?"

"I think he's got some great ideas and I think he'd be great if he can get his ideas across.  I'm not sure if he's got the way to get it from idea to someone who could market it."

"I can see that."  He took a kiss.  "Why not bring this up earlier?"

"Don fusses about him."

"Ah.  I hadn't heard that."

"He gives me odd looks when I go geeky with Jesse."

"I have seen those.  Don's not used to being around geeks all the time."  He took another kiss then stood Xander up.  "We should sleep.  It's nearly one."  Xander nodded, going back to bed with him.  Danny got the helping mouth treatment to help him back to sleep and Xander cuddled up between him and Don to sleep as well.  It was a good idea if he could market it.

***

Horatio looked at the plans then at the young man.  "They're interesting.  How would you market them?"

Jesse frowned.  "That's why I'm still stuck. That and the stuff I'd need to build it.  I know that there are people who could."  Horatio nodded at that.  "That's why I went to Xander.  He seems to know a lot of people."

"He does, and he has contacts who know others."  He considered it.  "Personally I don't think it'd be a bad idea, Jesse.  I'm more worried that you'd get to the point where you had something to show and no way to do that.  The US isn't very big on the security robots.  If it was something smaller... maybe a toy?" he suggested.  That got a beaming grin and Jesse pulled out some other plans, letting him look them over.  "These I do like more.  They're very intelligent and a good plan."  He smiled at him.  "Start with this one and make the other as a hobby on the side?  By then you'll have some contacts and it might make it easier."

"I can see how that would go," he agreed.  "It'd also be totally legit and I could step back from the guys who're getting pushy."

"Pushy?"

He grimaced.  "A few left in the circle want me to make them something I'm not comfortable with and I've told them no repeatedly."

"You could tell us about that."

"Then I'd better move," he said blandly.

"Hmm.  And yet the better area for electronics is really the west coast," Horatio admitted, leaning back to look at him.  "What do they want, generally speaking?"

"A new microcomputer I'm working on.  It's about the size of a PDA but it has hacking capabilities.  They want it to do locks, which it can do but that's an elementary function of the system.  Beyond that I don't trust the people who're asking and demanding."  He shrugged a bit.  "We'll deal with them.  I always do.  Even if I do use Xander to threaten one now and then when he gets pushy."

Horatio frowned, calling Xander.  "Come see me please."  He hung up and looked at him, leaning forward.  "I would rather have the prototype in more secure hands, Jesse.  That sounds dangerous."

"Probably," he agreed.

"Xander knows a very good hacker back in Sunnydale."  Jesse moaned.  "Oz is a very good hacker and he's very honest.  We've consulted with him about a few hacker issues in the past.  He's been a friend of Xander's since high school."  Xander walked in and shut the door.  "Have you seen this prototype computer?"

"I have.  They're still on your ass?"  Jesse grimaced and nodded.  "Man, they're stupid."  He sat down.  "So, anything decided?"

"I believe I'd like that prototype in better hands," Horatio said.  "But I do like this idea and plan of business better," he said, handing that to him.

"Danny liked that one too," Xander agreed, handing it back to Jesse with a grin.  "I like toys too."  That got a nod and a grin back.  "Think you'd sell me the prototype?  That way they get off your ass?"

"They know I can build another one."

Xander frowned, considering it.  "Horatio, Don?"

"Your Don?"

"Epps.  His brother's big in math and stuff.  His brother's girlfriend turns math stuff into computer stuff."

"That would be a safe place to test it," he agreed, considering what Xander was thinking.  "Moving him to LA would be safer as well.  Plus get him out from under the stigma he wants to leave behind," he told the young man, getting a happy, beaming smile and a nod from that.  Jesse was so young, still almost innocent in his enthusiasm.  He wanted the boy to do great things.  "You'd have to stay out of trouble."

"I can easily do that."

"We can pretty easily have Don's brother help you find somewhere to set up since you're dealing in theoretical ideas," Horatio pointed out.  "I know he got that one person's robot recently."

"Plus one of the cyborgs," Xander agreed.  "I asked for him so they could go over it with his physicist buddy Larry.  They spent a weekend geeking out over the new technology."

"I only got a peek at the plans but I'm stunned and amused by them," Jesse admitted.

"I've got one stuffed in the other house at the moment," Xander admitted.  Horatio gave him a look.  "He showed up!"  He looked at Jesse.  "Think we could handle that?"  He nearly bounced he was nodding so hard.  "Then let's get you packed up.  I'll head back with you to introduce you around and make sure you've got good contacts.  Including introducing you to Angel in case something demonic comes for you."  He stood up.  "C'mon."  He hugged them both then bounced out.  "We'll head out tomorrow, Jesse.  Pack it all."  He hugged Horatio himself.  "Thank you."

"I think it'd be of benefit to everyone if he did get his plans to work," he assured him.  "He's a very bright young man and his mind should be sheltered and nourished.  Cal Sci can do that very well."  He smiled and nodded, heading out to help his buddy.  He found Don Epps's card to call out there and warn him.  "Agent Epps, Horatio Caine.  No, not stolen.  A head's up.  Xander is helping one of our resident electronics geniuses set up out in LA.  He'll be introducing him to your brother because they've seen one of those cyborgs and the young man in question is one who could probably make them better and more reasonable."  He leaned back.  "He's the one we got that prototype camera Agent Edgerton found out about from," he said quietly.  "He wants to leave it behind and go do something better for humanity.  Xander is.  He has some very good ideas for some very nice toys at the moment.  Tomorrow night.  Of course."  He hung up and sent him the information file he had on the young man so he wouldn't worry too much.

***

Don looked at his little brother the next day, handing over the folder.  "He's moving out here with Mr. Harris' help.  He's a poker buddy in the robotics field."

He looked at it then at him.  "He did what?"

"He did what," he agreed with a smirk.  "Now he wants to work on electronics, toys, and robots.  He's getting out of his old business."

"He's good," he admitted.  Someone sat beside him and handed him something.  "What's this?"  He opened the zip case, looking at the PDA.  "Nice.  What's new about it?"

"The system holds enough information to hack the server your brother's email is off of," Xander said.  They both gaped.  "That's why he's moving.  They were pressuring him.  Plus he's got one of the cyborgs so he can go over it and use the ideas for his new toys."  He grinned at Don.  "Hi again."

"Hi.  I heard you'd be here tomorrow night."

"We got an earlier flight because someone stupid burst in and tried to shoot him because he wouldn't sell that baby and I made him go to Horatio and Danny about his ideas to see if they were feasible."

"Damn," Charlie said, turning it on.  "Not the best interface," he admitted, playing with  it.  "Wow."  He kept going and laughed, tapping into the local server.  It came up quickly and he managed to hack it.  "Wow.  Don, look."  He let him see.  "I hacked Larry's email.  It's built so someone without a lot of knowledge can use it for that function."

Don looked it over, then nodded. "I know a few in covert ops who could use this."

Xander slid over a black nylon briefcase.  "His other toys he's no longer making."  Don shut down the PDA and handed it back before getting into it.  He moaned at a few things, holding them up.  "Oh, that's so neat.  We in the family love that."  He opened the laptop and showed him how to make a new ID with it.  Then he grinned.  "Fully in the system."

"Oh, my," Charlie breathed.  He took it to look at, using the PDA to search it.  He found it and then erased the new ID from the system before they got into trouble.  He looked at Xander.  "Think he'd be willing to take classes?"

"I think he was self taught and he's got an over-active muse now and then.  I also think he's in the bookstore and he thought the campus was pretty."  Charlie got up and headed out.  "He's about my height and has slightly blonder hair," he called after him.  He looked at Don.  "We're setting him up here," he said, handing over a form.  "It's a rental space  in case something comes for him.  Can you let him look at Warren's robot too?"

"I'll see if I can do that."  He smirked.  "Friend?"

"Very cool friend.  We met over many hands of poker."  He smiled as Jesse came over with Charlie.  "Caught him walking over?"

"Yup, he was lost," Charlie admitted, sitting down again.  "Jesse, this is my brother, Special Agent Don Epps."

"Hi.  Horatio said I'd probably be introduced to you when he came to get the stupid people who shot at me."

He shook his hand with a grin.  "Charlie's hot on the recruitment path but you think you can handle it?"

"I've been on my own for a while now," he assured him.  "I don't want to be shot at any more.  They're pushy and it's hampering my muses.  Then they make mean things."  He handed something over.  "The only one I ever made."

Don looked at it.  "Is that a concussion grenade?"

"It's a thermite one," Xander said happily.  Don whimpered. "The stupid people interrupted him trying to fix something."  He put the PDA case into the briefcase and handed it to Jesse.  "I think you could fit in very well out here.  Cal Sci has a great engineering program and a robotics program."  That got a grin and a nod.  "Charlie's a math god with ties into many areas from what I'm told.  Don's special because he knows about us and helps guard us.  You sure?"

"I'm sure.  I'll email all the time, Xander."

"I know.  Still sucks and I should go destroy the stupid fuckers who did it to you," he complained.  He gave him a hug.  "So, Don, Charlie?  Do you think you could keep an ear out for him?  Maybe help him get started or look at his toys when they're done?"

"I'd love that," Charlie admitted with a grin.  Jesse beamed back.  "What're you working on?"  He let him see the idea he had been sketching earlier.  "What's the power source?"

"I was going to use the same one that the cyborgs did.  Xander let me have the one he captured trying to break in to steal him back one night."

"I'd like a better look at them anyway," Don admitted.

"Me too," Charlie agreed.  They looked at Xander, who had disappeared.  They both grinned.

"He thinks he's Batman but sometimes he's the Lone Ranger," Jesse admitted with a sigh.  "He let me pay off my poker debts with minor things like what's in the briefcase.  Horatio said they came in handy now and then.  So did Steve."

"Steve?" Don asked.

"Xander's accountant guy."

Don shook his head quickly.  "Is he in the mafia or something?"

"There's some other strangeness about Xander and he's part of that."

"Oh, Steve.  Yeah, met him at the New York convention," he admitted, understanding now.  Yeah, he could see immortals using the new identity software to make it easier when they had to change lives.  "Let's go see your workshop, Santa Jesse."  Jesse grinned and bounced out to show them his car and let them follow him over.  It was a great workshop and was already set up so he could get to work on his first toy.  Charlie talked to someone in robotics on the way over and they were nearly bouncing in their seats too.  So maybe the boy would be okay out here.

***

Xander flopped down once he got back, looking at his lovers, who looked curious.  "I got Jesse set up in LA and introduced him to that nice Don Epps and his brother Charlie.  He was nearly coming from the bounciness at meeting Charlie."  They both smiled.  "I let him have the cyborg we had too."  They looked confused.  "I caught one sneaking in so I stuffed it in a closet in the other house."  That got another nod.  "So he's all set up and the stupid people who shot at him are hopefully still in custody?"  They both shrugged.  "Are we mute?"

"Your hair stunned us," Don said, picking up the braid to look at the thing braided through it. "Where did that come from?"

"The safety deposit box earlier," he said with a grin.  They both relaxed and he got cuddles.  Because cuddles were important to the mental health of Xanders.  "Can we call Horatio to make sure they're still in jail?"

Danny called.  "Xander wanted to make sure the guys who shot at Jesse are still in jail?"  He grinned. "He's back.  Thanks, H."  He hung up.  "They are.  Denied bail."  Xander beamed and hugged him. Don pouted until he got one too.  His boys were so good to him sometimes.  "Why're you starting holiday presents already?"

"So if I have to crochet I can," he said with a grin.  "I know Stella and Mac want to go to Boston for some heavy forensics conference in November so I thought I'd make sweaters but he said he didn't need any."

"Our winter clothes are pretty well mothballed," Don admitted.  Xander nodded, snugging in better next to him.  "Are you that bored?" he asked.

"I've been doing a lot but it's all starting to slow down.  I got Furry to finally let Ray Junior on his back earlier.  I got to check on Peter and the construction crew.  I talked with Steve on the way back.  Oh, I'm selling the cruise ship."

"It was too big to use anyway," Danny agreed.  "Any other big news?"

"Think Ryan would do real estate instead of investments next time?"

Don smirked.  "Possibly.  What's his place gonna look like?"

"It's a loft.  It'll have pretty wood floors and some nice, simple walls.  A good kitchen for when he doesn't feel too lazy to cook."  Ares appeared.   "Hey, boss.  Am I in trouble or being a pain?"

"Not in the least," he said with a smirk.  "Your two students just hit town.  They're asking about you."  Xander nodded at that.  "Are you writing any more of that one story with the warriors?"

Xander shrugged.  "Muses are on vacation," he admitted.

Ares nodded.  "So are ours."  Don snickered at that. "They're in Bermuda."  He shrugged.  "You should try that more."

"I have been trying.  It's not working," Xander admitted.  "I can't get it from battle to sex smoothly without transitioning the scene."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," he said, smirking at the boys.  "There's another demigod in town.  Do be careful of him.  He's a bit stupid."  He disappeared.

"Herc's here?" he called.  Laughter came back with a 'no'.  "Huh."  He looked at Don.  "Be careful?"

"I will if you do," he promised.  Xander kissed him again.  "Now, let's pull down your hair?  I haven't gotten to brush it in a while."  Xander let him pull out his hair strand of jewels and found a brush for him, letting Don get ideas on his current cases while Danny went back to the news.  This was his muse generation machine.

***

Horatio walked in the next morning, smiling at the plate of cookies on his desk.  He went to find Danny.  "Xander made cookies?"

"No, Don made cookies while he thought last night.  The hair brushing wasn't a good enough idea generator but the rum, raisin, oatmeal cookies finished it."  He gave him a look.  "Got a head's up.  We were warned to watch out for pesky halflings by Ares," he said quietly.

"Hmm.  Any idea who?"

"Nope."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He turned and found a patrol officer there.  "Problems?"

"I didn't know Messer was pagan."

Ryan walked behind him.  "It's a purer faith.  Keeps me in shape too," he quipped.

"We knew you were strange, Wolfe.  You have OCD and a sword," he shot back.  Horatio gave him a look and he wilted a bit.  "I don't have a problem with it.  Really, just didn't know."

"Started out catholic as well," Danny called, waving a hand.  "Why're you in the lab, kid?"

"Sir, we had a death threat sent to you from the jail.   I'm assigned to guard you," he admitted.

"I hadn't heard about that yet," Horatio said, shifting slightly to look at the boy from his ususal sideways pose.  "Who sent my CSI a death threat?"

"The guy they got in the park, sir.  That's what my boss said to tell you and to call him if you needed more information."

"I see.  When was this threat sent?"

"Late last night through inter-office mail.  He bribed someone to send it like it was a memo."

"Ah."

Danny came to the door.  "Kid, I'll be fine.  He's in jail and the others won't be getting that close to me.  Honestly, I won't need it.  Thank your commander for me but I'm good."  Horatio gave him a look.  "He came from my family, Horatio.  Not like I don't know them."

"I still want to see the threat first."  Danny gave him a look.  "Even with that, there's still the chance that something could happen.  Which would upset your friends very much," he pointed out grimly.  "Especially that *one*."

"Nah, he and Don'll go on a rampage.  I'm still good, guys."  He went back to work.  "Thanks anyway."

"We'll talk first," Horatio told the patrol officer.  "As for right now, you can't simply stand outside the door and guard him."

"I figured you'd tell me where to stand, sir."

"Go help at reception."  He nodded, going to do that.  Horatio went to find the commander in question.  "You assigned my CSI a guard?"

"I did.  If something happens to your boy then his little long haired, gay friend will explode and destroy the city with the weapons we've heard he's got.  Plus my boys would have to fuss if their source of free lunch was cut off," he finished blandly, looking at him.  "You guys are very spoiled."

"Xander does love us like a family," Horatio said dryly.  "Daniel thinks it'll be fine."

"I don't care," he snorted. "He's following your boy around even if he has to stalk him."  He handed over the bagged note.  "That's what came so you don't have to demand it."  Horatio read it over then handed it back.  "The Chief agreed with me.  Harris is dangerous if you get him that upset and one of his boys being taken out would make him that angry.  Considering he's taken a graze for another dayshift commander, helped a few officers who were shot, and then he spoils the department rotten, the Chief said so, Horatio, and I'm a slave to the guy who writes my paycheck.  I don't care if you fuss."

"Fine.  I think that would be acceptable for his work hours.  I have him at reception for the moment."

"Wherever.  I know he can't stand in the middle of the lab to watch him and no way is someone even getting a sniper shot except into your office."  That got a nod.  "By the way, if you haven't been in there yet, they did miss and only hit your desk instead of the night shift supervisors."  Horatio glared at him.  "We got the guy."  He stared back.  "Now, anything else?"  He shook his head and walked off to talk to Danny.  "Good, I like it when he doesn't fuss at me.  It's much nicer," he muttered, making notes because Caine not fussing about his people's protection was a gift from God, it came really rarely.  "Sikes," he shouted.  He came to the door.  "You're stuck to Caine today.  There's evidence the shot last night was a warm up and the Chief thinks there's a contract out on him again.  Stalk him if you have to."

"Yes, sir."  He went to find Horatio and tell him.  "Lieutenant, I'm your shadow today."  Horatio gave him an amused look.  "We think the shot into the office last night was a warmup for one on you, sir, and there may be a new contract out on you."  Speed stopped in the hall to give him an odd look.  "I'm ordered to stalk you if I have to outside the lab, sir."

"That's fine, Officer Sikes," Speed agreed.  "What shot?"

"Someone shot into the office last night and got the desk instead of the night supervisors," Sikes reported.

"I just heard about that myself," Horatio admitted.  "Who did it?"

"I have no clue, sir.  I wasn't there yet.  I was going to look it up while you checked on your people."  That got a nod so he went to do that, bringing back a copy of the arrest report.   Yeah, there was a contract out on the guy.  It was a well-known mafia hitman with a few out of state warrants as well.

Danny looked at the report.  "Might actually be the same case, boss."

"You both are staying in today," Speed ordered calmly, giving his husband a look.  Horatio nodded he would. "Sikes, go report that to Tripp and Flack?"  He nodded, going to do that.  "Danny?"

"Family sent the one blond guy."

"Who sent him a death threat last night," Horatio agreed.  "Inter-office mail even."

"Goodie," Speed snarled.  "Any other new news?"

"Not yet," Danny quipped with a grin.  "But if they try I'm gonna let Xander go deal with 'em for me."

Speed snickered.  "I can see him doing that."  He walked off shaking his head.

"I don't think he was joking," Eric admitted quietly from just up the hallway.  This temporary lab echoed in spots so he had heard.

"Xander would let us know if it was that serious," he pointed out.

"We hope," Eric corrected.

"He would."

"We hope," Eric assured him.  "We might get them like we did the Mala Noche at the strip club."

"Good point.  Danny, call and make sure Xander knows to stick to well-known spots today," he called back.  "We don't want another strip club incident."  Danny called with a groan.  He looked at Eric.  "Ray Junior said he finally got to walk Furry around the enclosure."

"Congrats.  He's doing good with the horse.  Now comes the hard part, training gaits and things."

"It'll go," Speed promised, heading back to work.  He knew they had it well in hand.  This wasn't the first death threat situation the lab had been through.  That's what happened when criminals got mad that you caught them.

***

Xander hung up and rolled his eyes.  "I hate the stupid ones."  Ares snickered from the fence next to him.  "The guy from New York issued a death threat.  They just told me to be careful too."  He looked at his former foal.  "So, how do I train him how to do the neat stuff?  I got him to the point where Ray Junior can walk him around the ring."

"Good job."  He patted him on the back.  "I haven't had to train in a while."

"I figured your people trained Princess so you might know."

"It's been a while since I did it in person."  He walked out and looked at the horse, who only snuffled his chest.  The horse loved him.  It was a beautiful horse.  Very muscular and very handsome.  He would've ridden a horse like this into battle.  He got him saddled again, ignoring the sigh of displeasure the horse let out.  "Like Princess does, you have to be ridden too, Furry."  The horse let him mount and stood there for him.  He was well trained so far.  He nudged him with a knee, making him turn and walk to the right with the reins.  He did it for him.  He nudged him a bit more with the knee.  "Faster.  Come on, you can do it."  Xander whistled and the horse trotted.  "Lunge line commands?"  Xander nodded.  He whistled the same way and the horse sped to a faster trot.  It was a smooth mover too.  "Can he canter?"

"Nope, not yet."

"We can train that into him."  He slowed him and dismounted, patting him gently, creating some sugar for him to nibble on.  "Good boy, Furry."  The horse soaked it up and he took off the saddle, letting him off to graze once he had the bridle off too.  He watched him move then looked at Xander.  "How did you train him to trot?"

"Don't know," he admitted.  "He did it."

"Hmm.  Have you found a local trainer?"

"For race horses.  The only one I've seen in the state who does jumping stuff only wants to train him if he's going to compete.  He said pleasure riders didn't need to be fully gaited."

"Yet you do some jumping in the woods," he agreed.  "I'll ask Athena, see if she knows someone.  He's a good horse."  He smirked at him then at the boy.  "If this was the old days," he sighed over dramatically.

Xander grinned.  "I'd offer him as a tithe but I promised him to Ray Junior.  Want one of the girls?  They're stubborn little shits who hate the line and don't want to break to a saddle.  We're still working on the bridle on one and the other one won't quit trying to get the saddle off."

He laughed.  "She was just as stubborn.  I'll see what I can do, Xander."  He nodded, so Ares flashed off.  He had a good hand with the animals.  He found Athena and nodded, showing her the horses.  "He's at the training stage and he's a bit stuck.  The two mares off the warmares are harder to break and the black one is learning gaits and control."

She considered it.  "I don't know many who can break them that way," she admitted. She watched Xander work with one of the mares.  "She is stubborn," she said with a smirk.

"He named one Duchess and one Countess," he said dryly.  "They act like it too."  She laughed.  "Can you look?"

"I can."  That got a nod.  "Will he tithe one?"

"He offered me one of the mares.  The stallion he's promised to Ray Junior."

"That's fine.  The bloodlines will tell in their cases if we can get them trained."  That got a nod and he disappeared. She watched for a bit longer.  That one was going to drive him nuts.  She went to find someone, finding a decent breaker out in the midwest.  "I have a quandary," she said as she appeared.

"Lady Athena," he said respectfully.  "What can I do to solve it for you?"

"One of our anchors has some pleasure horses that he rides around the woods and the like."  That got a nod.  "He's got the stubborn offspring of two warmares and one who's gotten to the point of being able to be ridden but is missing gaits and how to jump."

"Local?"

"Florida.  Outside Miami to be exact."

"Hmm.  I only know one down that way."  He wrote out a name for her.  "She's good."  She took it with a smile.   "How far are they?"

"One's still trying to fight the saddle and the other's very uncomfortable with the idea of weight on her back so far.  They're a bit younger though so he's starting earlier than he did with his male one."

"That can help but they might not be ready."

"They're both two."

"That's a good age," he agreed.  "Call her, see if she'd help him."

"Thank you."  She took the number to Xander, handing it over.  He hugged her and went to call from the house.  She smirked, walking over to lead the horse away from the fence.  She hobbled it in the center of the ring.  "You quit doing that.  You can't rub it off.  It'll only hurt you more."  She adjusted the saddle's position back to where it should be, getting an angry snort.  She stared at the horse and it shied but she tightened the girth again.

"We haven't gotten it fully tight yet," Xander called as he came back.  "Thank you."  She nodded, leaving her there.  He walked over to pet her.  "I told you to quit trying to rub it off.   Like the halter, it's going to stay there."  He patted her, unhobbling her to walk her around by her halter.  She was not a happy mare either.  Her mother called from the fence.  "She's just being fussy, Princess.  It'll be okay."  He walked her over, letting them sniff noses.  "See, she's fine."  He went back to walking her around, even if she did try to pull away from his hand.  He looked at her.  "Don't start.  Really."  She pulled her head back again and he sighed, getting a rope.  "Lazy, come on."  He clipped on the lead line and made her run circles for a bit until she was tired.  It's all he knew to do when she was in a fussy mood like this.  He saw a truck pull up and smiled at the woman getting out.  "I didn't know you were that local."

"I am."  She came over, letting him lead her over.  She pulled and tried to go back to rubbing it off.  "Take it off for now."  He took off the saddle and let her play in the field.  "How long have you been trying?"

"Three weeks," he admitted, giving her a pitiful look.  He opened the other fence and whistled, bringing his male foal.  He came over happily to get love from him.  "This one is very good and lets someone walk him around from his back but he doesn't quite get cantering yet.  He does trotting," he offered. "But I have no idea how I managed that one."

She smiled.  "Sometimes they already know it."  The other female came over.  "She's pretty."

"She's even more stubborn than her cousin."  He patted the nose.  "Want the saddle back, Furry?"  He trotted off, making them both laugh.  He closed the fence before the mare could leave and got her into the saddle.  She reared back and he got out of the way.  "You don't usually mind it that much!  Calm down!"  She shook and tried to shift it.  "You did better yesterday, Countess."

The woman climbed the fence and joined him, coming over to soothe her and get her walking around in it.  Xander handed over the line and sat on the fence to watch an expert.  Maybe she'd know how to fix it.  He had no clue.  She got the poor sweetie calmed down and walking around but she clearly hated the saddle.  "Is this just to train them?"

"Yup.  They're the same size their mothers are so we have their mother's saddles for when they're fully broken.  He's got one too.  They're heavier so I started with the english one."

She nodded. "Not a bad idea.  What's the full one look like?"  He went to get one and bring it back.  She gave it an odd look.  "That's not Western."

"No, it's a campaign saddle.  Their mothers are both trained warmares."

"Okay.  The Ren Fair sorts?"

"Their daddy is.  The whole family uses swords now and then," he agreed with a grin.  She just nodded.  "This is her mom's saddle."  He let came in to hold her head while the trainer changed the saddle out.  That freaked her out from the new weight.  They had to let her go with it.  "Now you know why I'm stuck.  It's not like they've got bad experiences with saddles.  They did the same thing when I put reins on for the first month.  We're coming up on three weeks of getting them used to a saddle.  He's finally able to be walked around and ridden that way."

She nodded.  They were good foals.  "Are you having him gelded soon?"

"I'm deciding with his future daddy.  He's a friend's graduation present."  That got a smile and a nod.  The mare came back and nudged him hard, snuffling his pockets.  He handed her a sugar lump and she walked off again, standing at the fence for the paddock.  He looked at her.  "Like I said, stubborn."

She laughed, letting her out there.  "I think we can work with them easily enough.  Stubborn can be a good thing sometimes."  Xander waved at one of the mares and she trotted over.  "She comes when you wave?"

"Yup.  Trained that way in case stealth is needed."  He put her saddle on her and let the other one have the lunge line.  "You can check the momma's gaits."   He got out of the way while she did that.  Princess hadn't been truly exercised in a while but she remembered how it went.  "Good girl, Princess 2."  She slowed her down after a few minutes.  "She's been lounging recently and been on some shorter rides."  His horse, Pride, who was an Arabian, walked in and over to him.  He petted him.  "I know, you're a good boy, Pride."  He climbed onto his back, letting him trot around for a bit.  "Were you bored with the foals?"  She laughed at that.  "Now and then Furry gets pushy and he has to shove him into the stream."

"Gelding will cure that.  Plus any other temper issues."  She watched him ride.  "You have a good command and seat."

"Thank you."  He slid down once his horse stopped.  "He's not the daddy of the two mares but he loves the little stubborn brats.  Furry treats them like his personal herd."  She nodded at that, that was normal.  He let them both go back to their grazing.  "Yes, he's fixed," he offered.  "Three foals were enough."

"Where did you get Furry?"

"ASPCA seizure.  They needed the barn and he stayed."  He pulled out a picture.  "That was him his first month here.  I had to get him halter broken."  She smiled as she handed back the picture.  "I did what I figured out how to do.  I have no idea why they won't take a saddle."

"I do.  They're stubborn and don't want to start working for their food.  We can handle it, Mr. Harris.  Now, I do charge two hundred a week to work with each of them."

He shrugged.  "I have money."  She nodded, smiling at that.  "I have more than enough to buy part of Miami.  The whole family goes on rides for picnics and stuff."

"Sure.  I get that.  How much jumping do you do?"

"In the woods.  Both Princesses can and do.  Pride does.  I have no idea how he does but he does."  She laughed and nodded.  "He's good at it too.  The dogs like to follow us when we're out in the woods.  They yip whenever we jump some of the fallen trees."

"Sounds like you have a good time."  She went to pull one of the mares back into the paddock to work with her.  She was a stubborn little brat, tried to fight the whole way.  The other people were watching her methods but she managed to get her in there and saddled with the training saddle.  It was about half the weight and would work better for right now.  Then she put her through her paces.  This one could use some gaiting work as well so she'd work on that too.  Should only take about a month to finish their training, even with stubborn ones.

***

Xander parked in front of the station and walked around to get someone out of the front seat, walking the moaning person inside.  He walked him all the way to Don's desk, earning a few amused looks.  "This idiot tried to pull a gun and shoot my cute ass."  He shook him.

"I'm very sorry," he moaned, giving him a 'help me' look.  "Please?"

"I'll take 'im," Ray promised, moving to take the guy.  "Why did you try to shoot Xander?"

"Wanted his wallet and jewelry," he whimpered.  "Please don't let him hurt me again?"

"We won't if you confess," he promised.  Xander strolled off after getting a kiss.  He shook his head.  "Drama queen," he muttered.  The wannabe mugger nodded at that.  "Not asking your opinion."  He slunk down and gave him whatever he wanted to know.  He made sure to get pictures of all the pretty bruises too.  Just in case someone tried to say he got it while in custody.  The patrol commander came over to look at the guy then at him.  "Tried ta mug Xander."

"Hmm."

"I'm very sorry I'm so stupid," the crook told him.

He nodded.  "I'm sure you are.  He need medical, Kowalski?"

"Some ice packs, maybe some tylenol.  Bruises but nothing punctured from what I can tell."

"I'll get the block doc or an ME to look at him."  He went to make that call, letting ME Woods look at him for them.

She frowned.  "I want to watch his ribs and kidneys," she decided.  "Put him in solitary for the next few just in case.  Make sure he's not peeing blood.  Who did this to you?"

"I'm very stupid because I tried to mug the guy with the hair."

"Oh, Xander."  She patted him on the head.  "Yes you were.  I'm sure you'll be better when you get out, young man."  Don snickered from his desk, nodding a bit.  "Xander all right?"

"He's fine," Don promised.  "A bit huffy.   He's going to go leather shopping to blow off the stress."

"Um-huh," she said, giving him a look.  He just smirked back.  "Lucky boy."  She looked at the shift commander.  "Put him in solitary until the bruises fade.  Make sure he's not peeing blood and his ribs don't get cheap shots to them."  He nodded, taking the guy and the arrest report off.  "The baby was mean to that one."

"Xander was working with the mares again this morning," Don said with a grin.  "He had to call in an outside trainer for the three foals.  Furry's doing great.  He's to the point where they can ride him but he's not fully learned what he needs to about how to do some of the gaits and stuff or how to jump in the woods.  The two mares are stubborn little bitches who make Wolfe seem pleasant when he's being stubborn."  She laughed at that.  "He called and said even she called them stubborn little bitches."

"I'm sure they are.  Their mothers are."  She walked off again, going back to her office to make notes on that decision.

***

Ryan looked at his herd, frowning later that night.  "Why will you two young ones not listen to the nice people?"  The night groom laughed.  He looked over.  "They won't."

"They're stubborn."

"I'm stubborn, they're being asses."  He laughed and walked off, leaving him to stare at them.  "You two will be ridden like your mothers.  You two will learn the art of being a warmare.  I don't care if you don't like it."  They both tried to nuzzle him.  "Being cute and cuddly won't save you," he said dryly, petting their noses.  He pulled one out to work with her, making her huff but he was more stubborn than even his horses.  They would learn and he would be able to ride them by next year.  She got the point when he didn't relent and she had to deal with it.  When she was tired, she let him put a ten-pound bag of sand across the saddle.  She shook until it fell but he put it right back.  She tried to walk away.

"That's what being ridden is like," he agreed, walking her around like that.  She kept trying to shove it off but he kept her away from the paddock walls.  He kept it up until she finally gave up.  He let her go back into her stall and gave her a good brushing and love for doing so good, talking to her quietly about how good she had done.  The other one came out to do it too.  She really hated the saddle but he didn't care.  She was wearing it and there would be the sand bag up there.  She didn't mind it as much once the sand was on her back but she was still going to learn.  He found the trainer watching him.  "I'm more stubborn than both my mares," he assured her, making her walk until she was tired.  Then he put her back and brushed her down, talking to her and praising her for that good work.  He looked at Furry.  "I heard you did good today too."  He gave him some carrots from the box of them on the wall.  He petted the soft nose and got whuffled by it but that was fine.  He looked at the trainer.  "So?"

"They'll learn," she promised.  "You go a bit boot camp on them."

"I figure their mothers were probably trained the same way.  Though that huffing thing they learned off Xander."  She cackled and nodded.  "How long do you think?"

"Probably by the end of the month we'll have the basics and you'll have to work with them until they're firm.  I can teach him or you to teach them how to jump in the woods.  It's not that hard."

"Cool with me," he agreed, shaking her hand.  "Let me know if you need me to come for any of the lessons.  I learned to ride on their moms."  She nodded at that and he gave them one last pet before taking Princess out for some exercise.  She did huff and he snorted back.  "You learned that off Xander because his mane is prettier than yours.   Keep it up and we'll go do training in the woods tonight since I have tomorrow off."  He walked her off for a long ride, then came back to brush her down and take out the other one.  His herd was full of stubborn bitches, headed by the head stubborn bitch, Xander.  Because even Pride knew that Xander was the head of the herd.

***

Ray Junior came in from his last riding lesson.  "The teacher thinks that Furry may be ready to come to class with me."

"Furry's still doing good with the saddle but he's not ready to learn to jump yet," he said, continuing to chop things.   He looked at him.  "The trainer said she'd get him started in about a month.  Your teacher does know he's untrained?"

"Yup.  How is he on the cantering thing?"

"He learned and he ran around the paddock doing it, making Pride snort at him and push him into the stream again but he was a happy boy today."  Ray grinned. "If you want, we can have him transferred there for you, Ray."

"I'll put the teacher in with the trainer.  He was heading out to look at him today anyway."

"That's fine.  She's working with the stubborn twins."

Ray snickered at that name.  "They are."

"Ryan got them both used to the saddle one night by out-stubborning them but it's still slow going."

"They'll make it.  They're still young brats."

"I know."  He finished his salad and handed Ray a bowl.  "Here you go.  She's breaking him to both saddles."

"That's fine.  I don't mind."  He sat down to eat once he had dressing, looking at his buddy.  "What's going on in the pointy dome of hair?   You're thinking too hard."

"I'm feeling kinda sorry for my construction crew.  They're not going to have a job after this one is done for at least another few weeks."

"So change your mind and have them paint it a different color."

"Peter gave me a dirty look when I suggested it."

"Why?"

"He said it'd upset his boys."  He ate a bite.  "We'll have to see."

"You're going to give them a loan?"

"I don't know.  Most people only want to hire bigger companies."

"So maybe they'll be bought out and it'll be okay."

"I doubt Peter would go to work for anyone else."  He ate another bite then got up to go to the office and call Steve about his present idea.  Not like he didn't have the money.

Ray Junior decided Xander would let his boys know about his current evil plans on his own this time so he didn't have to do anything but turn it to HBO and relax until Xander came out to do stuff.

New Kids in the Family

Notes:  Takes place during the SPN outtake story.  MM put in the suggestions of someone nagging the sore boys.

Xander looked at the students, then around the house.  "I've got to go play with the horses.  You guys wanna come?"  They shrugged, they could use a break from the studying, and followed his corvette with their impala all the way to the farm.  He got out and smiled at the herd of horses in one field nearby.

Sam looked around.  "This is a great place, Xander," Sam said.

"Thanks.  The family was having health care issues so I bought it off them.  They ran it until the father walked away.  Now I've got a herd of horses and a herd of helpers."  They both laughed and he walked them out to the paddock fence, whistling at the horses.  His came trotting over to nuzzle him.  "Hi, Pride."

"He's huge, dude," Dean said, staring at the horse.  That was not a horse like you saw in the park pulling carriages or at state fairs.

"He's abnormally tall for an Arabian but he's a good ride," Xander promised with a grin.  "I learned how to ride the same trip that Ryan learned from one of Ares' priests."  He pulled them over.  "Hand flat or he'll nibble."  They let the horse sniff their hands.  He whuffled Sam's hair but that was fine with him.  They both got to pet him.  The senior mares came over to get their own share of attention.  "Was Ryan being too stuffy last night to come ride you two?"  He petted both their noses.  "I guess we can do that today."  The younger ones came trotting over.  "I didn't stop to pick up any treats."  The younger set of mares left.  He watched them. "Spoiled brats," he called after them.  "Just for that you're wearing the saddle and going with us!"  He petted the other male.  "This is Furry.  The two spoiled brats are Duchess and Countess.  The two mommy mares are both named Princess."

"Came from the same place that gave you two Beauties and two George's?" Sam asked.  Xander smiled and nodded.  "That's cool."

"She was pregnant then."  They laughed and petted the other horses too.  Dean moaned as his hands sunk into Furry's coat.   "He's a Fresian.  They're former war steeds.  Princess are both war mares.  Pride's just pretty.  He jumps pretty well too."  He walked up to the barn, the four horses following him.  "Furry, get the girls."  He trotted off to nose them back to the barn.  "They trained very well."  He got them in there so he could brush them and saddle them up.  "Come on."  He put the saddles on the younger ones and then lead lines.  "Time for some exercise, kids."

Dean backed away slowly.  "I can't do that."

"Bullshit," Xander said, giving him a look.  "I can.  You can.  People did for centuries."

"I'd never travel by horseback. You can't hide the good weapons," Dean complained.  "Or nap on the seat."

"No, but they can guard you while you sleep."  He gave him a shove over.  "You can ride Princess.  I learned on her.  You too, Sam."  He slowly shook his head.  "Not like you're going to die if you fall, Sam."  He gave him a nudge too.  "Dean, that side's foot into the stirrup and then swing up and over."  He gave him a foot-boost then gave one to Sam too.  Sam squeaked when he landed.  He grinned.  "Very manly, Sam.  Maybe we should grow your hair out like mine?"

Sam frowned at him.  "I wouldn't look as good as you do, Xander."  Princess moved and he grabbed onto the saddle. "Not ready for movement yet, girl."

Xander handed him the reins.  "Hold it like that.  Steer *gently* with them.  Gentle nudge to get her started once I hitch one of the girls to you."  He hitched the lead line from Countess to his saddle.  Duchess got hooked to Dean and he showed him the same thing.  "Remember, gently.  Very gently.  You wouldn't want someone yanking on the bar in your mouth behind your teeth."  He got up on Pride using the step someone had dropped nearby.  "Thanks."  He took Furry's lead line and hitched it to his saddle.  "Okay, gentle heel nudge and a tongue clicking noise."  He did it and they did it after him.  They both squeaked as the mares started to move.   He smiled, leading the way out into the woods.  "We can check on the hidden house we have out here for emergencies.  I haven't done it in a while and the other trails I have require some jumping."  Sam shook his head quickly at that.  "It's not that hard.  She knows what to do."  He sped up a bit.  The mares followed.  He looked back.

"Dean, sit up straighter."  He did that.  "Sam, not so tight.  You're not going to fall.  Grip with your knees, not your hands on the saddle.  You're pulling her head back."  He let go of the reins and had to fumble for them.  They gave them back to him and he held them in one hand while he held the saddle in the other. "Grip with your knees.  Like you would on a dirt bike," Xander instructed.  Princess gave him an evil look.  "He's never ridden; behave, wench."  Dean did as instructed and Sam slowly loosened up and did as told too.  "Good!"  He went back to leading the way.  At one point he had to go around a tree instead of jump it but that was fine.  They came to the house and Xander got off to check.  "Stay.  You'll fall if you're not helped."

"My butt hurts," Dean complained.

"You can soak later."  He went in to check on the house, then came out and remounted, riding on with them.  They were getting the hang of it.  They'd never ride pro but if they had to ride to get out of something they could do it.  The younger set were happy enough to be in the woods instead of the field.  Halfway through he got off Pride and got onto Furry, switching the line around.  "He's the only one that's fully broken and ready to be ridden."  They nodded and followed him back to the farm.  The grooms came out to take the ones off their lead lines.  Xander slid down and came over to help Sam.  "Unstick your farther foot.  Let go of the reins, I've got them. Lean forward slightly and then swing that foot over and down until it hits the ground."  He steadied him and Sam got his other foot free.  He walked off a bit bow legged but he was fine.  He came over to help Dean, steadying him too.

"Does gay sex feel like this?"

"No.  Not unless you got spanked too," Xander teased.  "Go lean on the fence. You'll be fine.  Walk around a bit."  He nodded, going to do that.  "Remember, people used to ride all day long in the past."

"They were sore their first day too," Dean complained.  He did lean on the fence, looking at his baby brother.  "You okay?"

"I have faster healing.  I'm waiting on it to kick in."  They watched as Xander brushed the horses with one of the grooms then they were let back into the field.  "Do you have to do anything else out here, Xander?"

"Not today.  I come out every morning to exercise them but the nice grooms spare me from having to muck stalls."  The one helping him laughed and nodded.  "But they get to stay at the house and eat two-thirds of the really good garden here."

"He pays really well," the groom said.  He let the last one out there.  "The ladies do good?"

"Fussy," Xander admitted.  "Still."

"I saw their return trip when you said you didn't have treats."

Xander grinned. "They're spoiled."

"The trainer agrees.  She said to call her later this week.  She's nearly done with Furry."

"He does good under saddle.  Ray Junior's going to come out and start working with him.  His trainer wants him to bring him there but we're not sure about moving him at the moment. That ring doesn't have any spare room."  That got a nod.  "So we'll see."  He walked over and smiled at the boys.  "Come on, we can go soak in the hot tub.  Then we'll do something about the t-shirts.  Sometimes you do have to have better clothes and I've got to shop for Don's birthday."  He led them back to the car, watching as Dean winced before sliding into the car.  He shook his head, getting into the corvette.  It had only been a two- hour ride.

Dean looked at his brother once they were in the car and following him back to town.  "Was that a threat of going shopping?"

"I think so."

"We don't need suits."

"Maybe we'll hit somewhere other than a suit shop since Don does ride a bike.  He wears jeans now and then too."

"Maybe.  Hopefully.  Still sore?"

"Yup.  Wish it was instantaneous healing.   Damn, how does he do that?"

"All the sex he gets?"

"Maybe.  Probably a lot riding too if he comes out here every day."

"Could be," Dean agreed.  "Still kinda odd to feel the horse breathing under your knees."

"It was freeing though.  Not having to worry about steering most of the time."

"You can come back with him if you want."

"I might.  It could come in handy since he learned while kidnaped."

"Good point," Dean said, pouting a bit.  He didn't want to think about those things.  They got back to the house and found Xander had started the hot tub.  They got down to their boxers.  Xander handed over bathing suits then went back inside.  They changed in the garage and came out to climb in, moaning in pleasure.  This was nice!

"If we ever have to settle down somewhere, we're getting one of these," Dean moaned.

"Sure," Sam agreed, shifting his legs wider so the jet could take the ache out of his tailbone.

Dean flipped over so he was resting his chest against the side.  "Much better.  Not on the sore spot."

"Can you imagine having this while we trained as kids?  All the bruises we could've soaked out."

"I would've killed, Sammy."

"Dad would've filled it with cold water a few times I'm sure but otherwise it would've been good after hunts."

"Maybe we'll get real money from this stalking thing and we'll start staying at places that have one of these now and then."

"Maybe," Sam agreed.  He relaxed and slowly fell asleep in there.  Dean did too, still butt up to soothe the ache.

Xander came out to check on them, smiling and shaking his head.  He'd work on their sword work later.  When they were relaxed and content.

***

Don came home for lunch, looking at the two boys in the hot tub.  "Sore?" he asked.

Sam nodded, giving him a pitiful look.  "Even the immie healing hasn't fully helped yet."

"Sparring?"

"Riding," Dean moaned, looking over his shoulder at him.

Don snickered.  "Been there, done that, guys.  Pride's got a wide back.  Wider than Princess does."  They both moaned at that.  "Get some liniment.  It'll help more.  Some tylenol too."  He walked inside, kissing Xander.  "Did you have fun showing them the horses?"

"I did and they did good.  They'll be able to ride if they have to while getting away or something."

"Good.  That's a good skill."  Xander beamed.  "What're you doing this afternoon?"

"Your birthday shopping."

"I don't need anything huge, Xander."

"Shut up, Don.  I'm bored and they can't spar with how sore they are."  He took a longer, deeper kiss.  "Did you want food for lunch?"

Don led him to the bedroom, having fun for lunch.  He could drive through and eat in the car on the way back to his desk.  His boy clearly needed a quick blow job to make him feel better.  He had to close the curtains that hid the hot tub but that was fine too.  The boys would be fine soon enough.

***

Speed pulled up about ten minutes after Don left, looking at them.  "Guys?  Gay sex that bad?"

"Riding," Sam said, moaning a bit and shifting.  The liniment was working some but the hot tub was making it better.

"Two hours of riding," Dean agreed.  He was able to sit now but not very upright.  He was still sitting on his tailbone instead of his buttcheeks.

Speed just grinned.  "Yeah, the last time Horatio and I went on a picnic ride we both got a bit sore too," he admitted, coming over to lean on the side of the tub to look at them.  "We took painkillers?"  They both nodded.  "Sam, don't you have faster healing?"

"Still sore," he said, nearly pouting.  "It's been an hour."

"Want me to ask Adam for advice?"  They shook their heads.  "Okay.  Take some tylenol, rest, and remember not to stay in the hot tub too long or you'll start to dehydrate, Dean."  He nodded at that.  "I can ask Alexx if you want."

"We've had liniment and the jets in here," Dean promised.

Speed smirked.  "They are nice.  This is one of my favorite ways to spoil H at home too."  He patted the side of the tub.  "Did you two have fun?"

"We got to appreciate the woods instead of run through them for a change," Sam said, shrugging a bit.  "It was odd.  The horse was breathing underneath my thighs.  She seemed smarter than some of the guys I knew at college."  Dean chuckled, nodding a bit.  "I guess it was nice."

"You go on picnic rides?" Dean asked.

Speed smirked.  "A good ride, a picnic, then some fooling around, then back home.  It's good and calming for us after bad cases.  Ryan's generous about letting others use his horse.  At least those of us in the family."

"That's a good date," Sam agreed. "Jess would've loved it."  Dean pinched him on the arm.  "It's all right."

"Fine, Sammy.  Don't want you getting depressed again."  He looked at Speed.  "Don came home for lunch.  Xander's still in bed but Don walked out eating leftovers."

Speed nodded, going to check on him, bringing them back some bottles of water.  "Xander's crashed.   It'll be a few hours probably."  He patted Dean on the shoulder.  "Remember, it's a skill you can use and lovers think it's sweet to do those things.  Gets you laid by the mushy sorts."

"I'll remember that for later on," he promised, sipping his water.  "Checking on him?"

"Wanted to know if we could borrow some swords.  We have a stabbing with one and we can't figure out what sort.  Wolfe's off somewhere on a case so I can't ask him."

Sam looked at the picture.  "Is that actual size?"  Speed nodded.  "It's too thick to be a foil but it's about that size."

Dean looked then nodded.  "Blue cabinet upstairs.  There's a thicker Spanish blade.  Thicker than most fencing foils and it's got a cutlas handgrip."

"Thanks, guys."  He went to look, bringing it back down and to the hummer.  "Have a good soak.  Xander's going to be bouncy when he wakes up.  Don didn't have enough time to do much wearing out."

They both groaned but nodded at that.  It was a good warning.

***

Alexx called the house, making Sam get out of the tub to answer it.  "Xander's house."  He smiled.  "Hi, Alexx.  He's just now in the shower washing off the sweat from Don's lunch."  He brought the phone out to the tub, climbing back in with a wince and a hiss.  "No, a bit sore.  Xander made us play with him at the farm.  In the hot tub.  Speed made sure we were drinking water and we've had tylenol and liniment too.  We'll be fine.  Just a bit sore, Alexx.  I'm sure it's fine.  I can do that.  Xander?" he called, waving the phone when he came out to the door, ignoring the nakedness for now.  Sometimes you had to ignore Xander being naked.  He lad learned that lesson already.  "Alexx."  He tossed the phone, making Xander catch it but he took it back inside.  "You can look, he's not naked anymore."

"It probably needed aired out so it's not sore too," Dean complained, shifting some.  "What did she say?"

"To quit using it so much."

Dean looked at him.  "If gay sex feels like this, I'm not having any anytime soon."

"I'm sure it doesn't feel exactly the same.  Unless you're riding your lover," he taunted.

"I'm still on top," Dean said, frowning some.

"That would be riding if you're taking it," Sam pointed out.  He loved picking on Dean.  His brother wasn't homophobic, but he was very het and he liked girls too much to think about switching over, even for a few days.  He didn't understand how it felt good.

Inside, Xander was defending himself to Alexx about how it wasn't sex that had made them sore, he wasn't cheating on his boys, and they'd be fine after riding the horses this morning.  He finally got away from her and called Horatio.  "Can you please pout at Alexx for thinking I made the boys ache by having sex with them?   I'm not that big.  I can't make someone as sore as riding the horses did.  Especially since I'm not that mean to my lovers and I'm usually on the bottom.  No, she called to nag me about being more gentle to them when I had them for fun.  In the hot tub.   Speed did?  Oh, okay.  Was that the right type?"  He grinned.  "As long as I get it back, Horatio.  You know that."  He nodded.  "I can do that.  Going shopping for Don's birthday in a bit.  Once I get them out of the hot tub.  Tell her if she doesn't quit nagging about it I'm going to spank her.  Or let Danny spank her.  He might like that."  He hung up on the shocked sounding noises.  There, that would help with that!  She wouldn't think he was cheating again!

***

Speed walked up to Alexx, patting her on the arm.  "Xander said he wasn't cheating.  The boys went riding with him this morning, Alexx.  He also said if you think he's cheating he's going to send Danny to spank you for it.  That way you're just as sore."

She snorted, giving him a look.  "You don't get sore rear ends like you and Don described from riding, Speedy."

"You do if it's your first time," he countered, giving her a look.  "They were riding with him for two hours in the woods.  If it was just sex, Sam would be back to normal by now and he's still pouting."  She shook her head, walking off.  "It was a good suggestion but Xander doesn't go outside his playlist."

"Uh-huh.  I still say something had to happen. You don't get that sore from riding.  I didn't.  Peter didn't."

"I did," Don complained as he walked out of a lab with reports.  "I was sore for the next day.  Xander babied me very well," he said with a happy grin.

"Your boy still backed up?" Speed asked.

"Yup.  Managed a quick one at lunch."  He shrugged a bit.  "We'll figure it out.  They finally out of the hot tub?"

"Probably soon," Speed admitted.  Don nodded, heading off to find someone to talk to.  He looked at Alexx.  "See, others do get that sore."

"Fine," she said, walking off shaking her head.  She still said it was gay sex riding instead of the horses that had caused the soreness.

***

Dean looked around the stores Xander had drug them to.  "Dude, this is way higher than we normally think," he complained.

"I have to find something for Don, Dean."  He walked them into the store he liked, smiling at the salesgirl.  "Friends with taste."

"Which one needs something, Mr. Harris?"

"Don's birthday is coming up."

"Didn't you buy the blue one for that?"

Xander considered it then shrugged. "Did I?"  She looked it up then nodded. "Huh.  Have I picked it up?"  She looked then went to get it for him.  "Thanks.  Owe anything?"

"Nope.  Have a good day."  She smiled at the two relieved looking ones' backs.  "Such goofballs."

"Sorry, guys.  Didn't realize," Xander admitted.

"They keep telling us that not wearing those things out leads to confusion," Sam reminded him.

"They've been busy."  He led them to another shop to pick up something then down to a store he loved.  They both stared at the shop's front in horror.  "What?"

"That's a kink shop," Sam pointed out.

"I know. It's where I get Don riding leathers."  He beamed made them walk inside.  "Learn to live a little, guys.  That's how you find out about people."  He looked around then pointed.  "See, that would look good on Dean."

Dean looked at the outfit then at him.  "I'd never pull it off."

"I can see you in those," Sam offered, pointing at another pair. Dean gave him an odd look.  "It'd look better on your build."

"You've been in the sun too long," Dean assured him calmly.  Xander bounced off to look at stuff, finding a few things he wanted.  He stopped to look at one display and Dean shuddered at the thought of cock rings.  "Needed another one?"  He was definitely learning a lot about Xander and why he needed *two* boyfriends to keep up with him even if he wasn't learning about anyone else.

"They have a pretty black steel one," he said.

"You have ten or twelve, Xander."

"Good point."  He got it anyway.  He grinned.  "Could always use something new."  They checked out and he bounced off.

The boys looked at each other then followed.  Don and Danny had made sure they understood that they had to protect Xander if he was out in the real world instead of the house.  Because things came for him.  Like the guy who tried to grab him by the hair but Xander ducked under his grab and pushed him into a wall.

"Hair yankers suck," he told him.  "Get over it.  I'm not yours."  He bounded off again to look in the window of a jewelry store.  Then off again.

"They really need to quit working overtime," Sam decided.  It was time to employ some strategy to help calm the boy down.  He caught up to Xander.  "How far away from the cars are we getting, Xander?"

He considered it.  "We can park in the garage up the street.  It's secure."  That got a nod and they went to move the cars then he went back to shopping.

Dean stopped Xander from going into a store that looked really shady.  "Are you sure that's safe?"

"It looks neat."

"It looks like somewhere you'll be kidnaped," Dean countered.

Xander grimaced.  "You need to lighten up, Dean.  Getting old before your time."  He patted him on the cheek then walked in there.  Right into a stick up.  He huffed and kicked one of the gunmen in the kidneys.  He crashed into the display counter and broke it with his chin.  "Stupid.  Anyone could walk in on you.  Including the lover of a cop like me."  A gun got pointed at him and he stepped up to disarm him too.  They were both groaning on the floor when he was done with the second one.  He looked in the display cabinets.  "Little Oriental statues?"  The shopkeeper nodded slowly.  "Got any monkey figures?"

"We did but we sold the last one earlier," the lead shopkeeper said, putting down his arms finally.  The other two did the same.  "Who are you?"

Xander grinned.  "An avid shopper."  He looked around then bounced out.  "We'll stop back by sometime, see if you have more monkey statues."  He walked out, heading for the next store he had never been in.

"Shouldn't we call the police?" Sam asked, pointing back at the store.

"They will if they want to," Xander assured him with a grin.  "Don't let me forget we need to hit the grocery store."  They both nodded in unison.  He grinned.  "So cute, like evil twins."  He went into one that looked interesting.  This one was run by demons and they fled.  "Hey, I'm in a happy mood!" he shouted after them.  "I came to shop!" he called miserably when they didn't come back.  He sighed and walked off again, taking them to another shop.

***

Dean looked at the 'grocery store' Xander had drug them to.  "Xander, that's bigger than any Wal-Mart ever built," he complained.

"Quit being such a stick in the mud, Dean.  It's a farmer's market and things.  Fresh veggies and a good place to get stuff for dinner."  He walked inside and got handed a cart by an older lady.  "Thank you."  He walked off, going down the various rows.  He stopped to watch a pastry person decorate a cake, tipping his head off to the side.  "I can't do that yet."

"You have time to learn," Sam said in his ear, getting a smile.  "Pie for dinner?"

He looked then snorted.  "I can make those."  He walked them off, going to the fish place.  He looked at them.  "Is the salmon or perch fresher?"

"The perch, sir.  Are you nearly done?  If not it could get too warm."

"Then I'll come back on my way back," he said happily.  "Thank you."  He walked off, going with the others.  He stopped at the bread maker, getting a few loaves and paying for them.  Dean bought himself a snack cake and Sam a bottle of water.  They kept moving to the other booths.  Xander picked out some very fresh vegetables for salads.  The butcher in there knew him by name and showed him some things he liked to play around with in the kitchen.  He bought ten pounds of meat and they moved on once he paid.  Another vegetable stall and a few more veggies.  An exotic fruit stall where they stopped to sniff because Xander wanted them to learn what they were.

"We usually eat at diners, Xander," Dean said quietly.

"You won't always, Dean.  Remember, long life ahead of you."  That got a simple nod.  Xander nearly sighed, he'd have to get over that thought blockage soon.  "Besides, they taste great.  Sweeter than your snack cake."  He paid for one and cut it open with his pocket knife. "Open."  Dean gave him a look.  "Don't make me swat."  He opened his mouth so Xander slid in a piece of fruit.  Dean chewed, moaning a bit.  "See?  Sam, open."  He cut him off a piece then ate the rest for himself.  He picked up another dozen for the house and they kept going.  There was an 'exotic Asian' store in here and they got dinner from there.  By now the cart was nearly full.  They went back to the fish place when he didn't want to go to the other sections of the market.

"No wine?" Sam asked.  "I always wondered about that stuff.  Jess knew about wines and stuff," he said when Dean gave him an odd look.

"I go to a place downtown for wines," Xander told him. "The one over there likes to leer."  That got a dual nod.  They headed back to the car and Xander drove the way to the wine shop.  "I have some delightful perch and some Asian food tonight.  Kinda spicy and mostly red and brown sauces."

The man nodded, walking them back to his selections for those menus.  Sam got to ask questions and he answered with a smile.  He also suggested a good magazine since he was still figuring out his tastes.  Plus possibly a wine of the month club.  They left with a few bottles for dinner.

Dean looked at Xander.  "We going to drop those at the house?"

"I have a cooling wand plugged in."  They gave him a clueless look so he opened the trunk to show them.  "See, it's like a fridge in a wand.  It hooks into the auxiliary plug I have back here.  I had it put in a few months after I bought the 'vette."  He closed the trunk once the wine was in there.  "But we can hit the regular grocery store first if you want.  That way I can pick up eggs and stuff for pie making."

"Let's drop this first, just in case, so you don't wear down your battery," Sam suggested, hoping he'd want to stay home once he got there.  His feet hurt.  They helped him put things up then he bounced back out to the car.  Sam groaned once they were safely in the impala.  "He's going to kill us."

"He won't.  He's hyper and he needs worn out.  The same as you do."  He followed the blood red corvette, finding Xander at a shoe place.  "Maybe he heard you."  Xander pulled them inside and got them sneakers and a pair of dressier shoes.  Then he drug them to Armani.  They balked but he pushed them inside and got them each a new suit, just in case they had to do respectable things.  He had no idea what respectable things they did but Xander was paying and not even Dean could withstand the pout.  He could barely withstand Sammy's pout but Xander's was lethal and made his chest hurt when he turned up the power on him.  So he had to let him.  They could be packed too he guessed.  They went to another few shops, just to browse, then to the regular grocery store.  Xander stopped him from going down the ice cream aisle, checking out and taking them to a gourmet ice cream shop instead.  Dean moaned.  "They have places like this?"

"All over," he said proudly.  "This is the best ice cream in the city."  The shopkeeper smiled.  "He makes it all by hand in the back."  He walked over to look.  "What do we have today?"

"We've got the usual six and some of the custom flavors.  Someone wanted coconut for their wedding so I've got some of that left. We have the fudge maple nut you like, Mr. Harris."

Xander beamed then pulled the boys over.  "My proteges of evil."  That got a laugh.  "Let them taste whatever.  Give me a gallon of the usual and two of my fudge maple nut and the praline."  He nodded, letting the boys taste whatever they wanted to and Dean suggested another one, getting a nod from Xander.  They carried the tubs out and plugged back in the cooling wand, putting it right on top of the ice cream.  Xander grinned. "It's more expensive but it's great ice cream."

"It was," Sam agreed.  "Home?"

"Home," he agreed. "But I need to hit the pan store."

"You need more pans?"

"I go to look at the cake pans," he defended.  "They come in shapes and stuff.  I was going to make Don a dragon cake."

"You have one of those pans," Sam said, looking a bit confused.  "It's in the top cabinet."  Xander frowned at him.  "You do.  We can look first."

"Sure.  We can look first."  He slid in and headed back to the house, having help putting up these new things too.  Then Dean sat down with some ice cream while Sam and Xander pulled down all the pans in the kitchen to rearrange them.   Sure enough, he had a dragon pan and a pan to add extra tail sections.  They ended up rearranging where all the baking stuff went but that was fine.  It'd be easier for him.  By then Dean was done with his ice cream and had moved to the dishes, which was nice of him.  Xander gave him a hug from behind before going to find his sword.  "Sword practice."

"Sure," Sam agreed, grabbing his blade and heading out with him.  Dean followed once his hands were dry.  Maybe now they'd wear Xander out!

***

Dean stopped at the station on the way back to their motel, walking inside and smiling his most charming smile at the receptionist.  "Is Don Flack here please?"

"You've got a better chance of having Messer here, sir.  What happened to Xander this time?"

"Just a report on today's activities."  That got a nod and she paged him.  Dean walked over to the windows, nodding Danny over when he came out.  "He's backed up."  Danny groaned.  "Unless it's usual for him to swerve with his music while driving?  Not a lot but a little bit here and there while he was singing along?  Or his whirlwind through the farmer's marketplace?  He was even too bouncy to settle down to sword practice today," he finished quietly.  "He kept giggling as he attacked Sam.  I wanted to see if he was drugged."

"No, that's him being backed up," Danny sighed.  "How long?"

"Definitely today.  Yesterday wasn't as bouncy but he was a bit.  Today he was like an airheaded fairy on the Coyote's spring shoes."  That got a shudder.  "And he's sulking at home because we're heading back for the night so Sam can go be worn out."

"You need it too, Dean."

"I know, but Sammy first since things'll come for him before me."

Danny nodded.  "Ryan?"

"I think he'd love it if you two made it home before midnight tonight," he said honestly.  "He and Sam were talking earlier and he said that."  That got a nod.  "Ryan might help but I doubt he can do it on his own.  I about confiscated his keys when I saw him weaving earlier.  It was Sammy who figured out he was singing along to Queen."

Danny slumped but nodded.  "I'll head home soon.  Thanks for watching out for him."

"Not a problem.  He stopped a robbery in progress earlier.  He sent some guys running.  He had forgotten he had gotten something for Don's birthday already."

Danny nodded.  "Yeah, he's backed up.  Have a good night, Dean."  He nodded, heading out.  Danny went back to the lab, looking at Horatio.  "I'm going to go home soon."

"How close are your results?"

"Probably another hour."

"Go home once you've got them.  What happened?"

"He forgot he had gotten something for Don's birthday already.  He was weaving in time with the music."  Horatio shuddered.  "Exactly.  I've gotta head home soon."

"Go once you have your results."

Danny nodded, heading to check on them.  Most of them were done but one was behind.  "How long?"

"Three hours?" Valera said hesitantly.

"Then I'll get 'em in the morning."  He walked out looking through them then sighed.  "We have enough to arrest and question," he told Eric.  Who looked really tired tonight too.  "First thing?"

"He could get away," he reminded him.

Danny looked at him.  "I need to get home tonight too, Eric."

He gave him a look.  "The job means that sometimes spouses have to suffer."

"Guys," Speed complained.  He looked at them.  "Is he even still in town, Eric? You weren't sure he wasn't going to flee earlier."

Eric went to check him on the list of recent airline passengers.  "Not on here yet."  He checked future lists and found him.  "He's booked for tuesday."

"Then waiting until the morning means that you're both going to be fresh and won't make mistakes."  They nodded.  "You haven't slept in two days, Eric.  Go home."

"If we have it..." he started.  "Xander can last another night."

"It's not just about Xander," Danny corrected.  "I haven't seen home in two days either, Eric.  I'd like to shower in my own bathroom in the morning and sleep on the ridiculously huge bed with hair pins sticking me all night."

"Enough," Speed said tiredly.  "We're all worn out.  Go home.  Get him in the morning."  Eric muttered something as he walked off.  "I'm telling your mother you say words like that."  He patted Danny on the shoulder.  "Make him unfussy."

"I'm probably going to get fussed at," he admitted, heading to put the reports in a place where he'd have them in the morning when he came in.  Then he went home.  He walked in and Xander jumped.  "Hey."

"You made it home?"

"I'm exhausted," he admitted.  Xander cooed and pulled him down next to him, cuddling him, and he didn't even realize he was falling asleep right there.

Xander smiled at the first snore.  "You poor baby.  Crime needs to slow down again."  He stroked over his hair, smiling when he heard Don trudge in but head right for the bed.  He got Danny up and stumbling that way, stripping him down so he could collapse too.  Don got stripped too, then he went to lock up the house.  He carefully climbed between them once he was naked, letting them cuddle or just huff in his hair as they usually did.

***

Danny looked at his wrist then at Don when he woke up. "Morning.  Are you cuffed?"

Don looked at his hands then shook his head, but his ankle was.  "Chained."  They looked at the clock.  They were only an hour late.  Don found his cellphone beside him and called in.  "We're presently locked to the bed."  He heard what Frank said, smiling some.  "Thanks, Frank."  He hung up.  "Xander called us off three hours late."

"Eric's gonna whine," Danny complained.

"Frank said he had an accident on the way home."

"Damn it."

"He's fine.  Not that bad."  Xander walked in with a tray of food, putting it across Danny's lap then he left and came back with Don's before he could claim any of the other food.  "Thanks, Xander."  He pulled him down for a kiss.  "You take good care of us."

"Someone has to."  He walked out and brought in the coffees.  They dug into their breakfasts, eating until they were stuffed.  They got real showers, unhurried ones with Xander helping, and then they got kisses and bags of lunch before they headed back.  Xander pouted once they were gone.  "Next time I'm keeping them here."

Danny walked in and smiled at Eric.  "I woke up in handcuffs."

"I woke up with Momma screaming and ranting above me because the department was going to get me killed in a way that would mean I'd have to leave Miami, then breakfast," he admitted. "You good?"

"Eaten, showered, all that.  DNA report finally done?"

"Late last night."  He handed it over.  It blew their theory.  "Two people?"

"We'll see."  They went to find their primary targets and talk to them.

***

Dean looked at Xander that afternoon.  It was clear his boys had been too tired to do anything when they had gotten home.  "Hey, Xander, I've gotta take Sammy somewhere to wear him out and it's kinda clear you could use some of that too.  Why don't we take a field trip then practice?  We can research tomorrow."

Xander frowned at him.  "I'm not backed up."

"Xander, you pouted at the coffee maker when it wasn't full," Sam told him.  "Even I can tell you're backed up and I can't tell when I'm backed up."  Xander slumped, nodding a bit.  It made Sam feel pitiful.  "It's not your fault they've been working horrible hours.  There's nothing you can really do about that unless you sneak in for a locker room quickie."  Xander shook his head at that.  "I know, they'd probably mind.  So let's go do something so you can wear it out."

"I still have to go out to the farm.  The trainer's going to be there and she wanted to talk."

"We can do that but I'm driving," Dean said.  Xander huffed but nodded. "Used to that?"

"Whenever I got too bad before they'd confiscate the keys to the old Range Rover."

"You used to have a Range Rover?" Sam asked.

"Uh-huh.  A lavender one that had really great leather seats.  Buffy blew it up on me."

"That's a color I wouldn't expect on an SUV," Dean admitted.

"There's a lavender hummer somewhere in the group," Xander said with a grin. "Horatio said I couldn't replace my Range Rover with it.  Don called it the gay mobile."

"I can see why," Dean admitted with a small grin.  "That color with a guy driving would kind of scream 'gay boy' to me too."

Xander shrugged.  "It was comfy and bulletproof.  It did what I needed it to do."  He grabbed stuff and pulled back his hair as he walked.  "Come on, let's go exercise the horsies."  They nodded, following him out to the Impala.   He batted Sam on the arm.  "You know, there's drugs to let you raise yourself up.  I know a few did that for a few hours so they got a better handle on their own output."

"No, I think I'll do it through meditation.  That works better for me and I'm scared I'd get stuck."

Xander cackled.  "It's not so bad. Even if you do have to take security precautions."  They nodded, letting him get into the back of the Impala while Sam got into the front and Dean got in to drive.  He leaned forward.  "Which Metallica is this?"

"The Black Album," Dean said, looking backward so he could back down the driveway.  "I've seen some of the later stuff in your collection."

"We can put on music for practice later if it'll help.  I usually take challenges with my iPod."  They grinned at that.  "It helps keep me focused when my mind's scattered."

"That's not a bad idea," Dean admitted.  "Plus give us a way to build stamina by humming or singing while working out.  Better breath control."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "We can do that.  It's supposed to rain so we'll use the practice room?"

"Sure," Xander said happily.  He waved at the guard.  "Farm then back here," he called.  That got a nod and a note made.  They headed off.  "That way no one has to worry."

"I'd worry too," Sam agreed, looking back at him.  "You get kidnaped an awful lot, Xander."

"I know.  It's not my fault though.  They like the hair."  That got a snicker from Dean.  "They do!  They're all hair yanking bastards too.  Means I have a good reason to kick their asses right off."

Dean nodded.  "I can see why."  He headed out to the farm.  They liked to pet the horses but they knew that Xander would make them go riding with him.  Not that it was safe if they didn't.  Dean had to roll down the windows because his eyes were watering with all the pheromones in the car.  Sam did the same and Xander rolled down the back ones slightly.  "Thanks.  Needed to air it out."  He wiped at one eye, then sped up when he found the right road.  They pulled into the farm and Xander got out, bouncing over to the trainer.  He had to call Steve immediately because he had forgotten to pay her but that was fine.  Steve showed up with a check and they realized he was an immie too.  They hadn't met him before, only talked on the phone when he called to nag Xander about something.  "Is he going riding with us?"

Steve gave him an amused look.  "I learned in college."

"Good, then you can ride Furry," Xander said happily.

"Let's have you ride Furry and he can ride Pride," the trainer told him.  Xander nodded.  "I'll take Countess since I've already worn Duchess out this morning."  That got another nod and Xander bounced off to saddle the babies.  She looked at the boys.  "How experienced are you?"

"Third ride," Sam told her.

"Okay.  Don't try to jump and if the horses want to jump with you, just relax, go with the movement."  They both gave her horrified looks.  "I've gotten them up to that level.  You can go around."  She walked off, taking that one to deal with.  She got them both up, nodding.  "Natural looking seats, boys.  Good job."  Steve looked a bit stiffer but that was fine.  Pride was an experienced mount even before Xander had gotten him.  They rode out together and it was good.  Xander was teasing Furry's ears, making him a happy horse.  He was nearly three, he was old enough for this.  "Xander, go ahead and see if he'll jump the log, it's small," she ordered.  He sped Furry up and Furry jumped it then the tree after it too.  "Good job!" she called.  Countess jumped the log but not the tree that had fallen at a diagonal.  She turned her around to get her more room and she jumped it this time.  Steve squealed when Pride did it without his consent and both boys went limp and went with the movement of the horse when they did it on them.  "Good!" she called.  They sped up, going a bit faster.  Furry was having a good run and was going to be exhausted later but he was having fun with it and Xander was chatting with the horse.  He jumped the small stream.  She jumped the small stream, Countess hated water on her hooves.  The boys slogged through it.  Pride jumped.

"Please quit jumping, Pride?  I'm not used to jumping horses, just park horses."

Xander grinned back at him.  "You're doing fine, Steve."  He had to duck suddenly when a branch nearly caught him in the throat but that was fine.  They circled back to the farm, finding Horatio waiting on them.  He slid off Furry with a grin.  "He's trained!"

"You looked good riding him."  Xander beamed, taking off the saddle and putting it on the fence for now.  He could brush Furry out there so he'd dry.  "How was the ride?"

"He jumped the fallen trees.  He wanted a run so we went for a run."

Horatio smiled, coming over to pet him.  "You're a good boy, Furry."  The horse nuzzled him and let Xander finish brushing out his coat before going to nibble grass in the field.  The others got their horses cooled down and out into the field too.  Xander put up his saddle and brush then came back out.  "We were wondering if you'd bring lunch in sometime this week?"

"I can do that."  He gave him a hug.  "Not a problem."

Horatio looked at him.  "I do believe you're backed up, Xander."

"You've stolen my boys again, Horatio."

"Good point," he agreed.  "We sent Danny home early last night."

"He fell asleep on my shoulder minutes after he got home."

"Ah."  He nodded, kissing him on the forehead.  "Go wear that out, Xander.  Before Ryan has to take more time off to hold a rescue mission."

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy."  He stroked his shoulder.

"You should too."

"I know I should but I can't get away right now.  Is there a reason why crime picked up so suddenly?"

"I think they had to finish their yearly quotas since the fiscal year is ending for them," he quipped.  Horatio smiled at that.  "Want me to ask around?"

"No.  You know we do not want you anywhere near the underground, Xander."

"Yes, Horatio."

Dean coughed.  "Want us to ask around?"  He was still leaning on the fence.  His butt was still sore!  How Xander did this then went to have sex he had no idea but he didn't think his ass was ever going to feel normal again.  Today he was even numb!  That was just so wrong for a lady's man like he was.

"Xander might have the contacts but you boys don't yet," he warned.  "Xander used to play poker with the cream at the top of the underground."  They both shuddered.  "We've shut down a number of drug dealers thanks to that."  He gave Xander another pat.  "We must fix that."

"Yes, Horatio."

"We know where to go?" Dean asked.  Xander nodded.  "We can go with you, Xander.  That way you don't get taken on the way there and don't have to worry about driving yourself back later on."  He gave him a pat on the back.  "C'mon, let's go do that, then we'll practice later.  After lunch."  He smiled at Horatio.  "Going for a ride?"

"Checking on Xander.  The gate guards said there was someone in a limo looking for him."  Xander shrugged.  "That smelled like dead fish?"

"Harvette.  Higher level demon on the Council."  He looked at Dean's car.  "Let's hope he didn't give you fish."

Dean went to check, slowly, smiling when there was no hint of fish in his car.  "C'mon, we'll head back home to shower and change."  Xander nodded, giving Horatio another hug before bouncing off to go with them.  He waved at Horatio.  "We'll watch out for him.  You be more careful too.  You don't have the same protection he does."

"I will be.  Be safe, boys."  He watched them go, looking at Steve.  "Problems?"

"Xander forgot to pay her."  That got a nod.  "Horatio, I don't want to be nosy, but I don't like men and you're very attractive today for some reason," he said as bluntly as he ever did.

Horatio ducked his head.  "We've all had some extreme hours recently.  I'm curing mine tonight, Steve."  That got a nod.  "Thank you for worrying about me."  He smiled and slid back into his sunglasses.  "Have a good day soaking, Steve.  You look a bit sore."

"Been years since I've ridden.  From what I've heard, the boys have been worse."  Horatio walked off smiling.  He looked at the trainer.  "In case you hadn't noticed, Xander's scatterbrained."  She nodded she had noticed.  He handed over his card.  "Tell me directly if he doesn't pay you this next week.  It's easier on everyone."

"He's a former cop?  I know that was the head of the crime lab."

"Don's in homicide and Danny's in the lab."

"Oh!"  She just nodded at that.  "No wonder they have trios of horses."

He smiled.  "No, the mares are Ryan Wolfe's."  She walked off laughing.  He went back to his home office to sit on a heating pad.  His butt did ache today.

***

Dean looked around the spa.  He'd never been in one of these places.  Never wondered what they were like inside.  Never really wanted to be in one of these spots.  But to keep the demon from coming after Xander *again* and Sammy's fanclub away from him, he'd endure.  Xander bounced up to the receptionist, who made a call as soon as she recognized him.

"Mr.  Harris, your usual masseuse is booked full today but we do have a new one on staff.  Would that be okay?"

"Would they know?"

"I'm not really sure," she admitted.  "Let me check with the manager."  She went to do that and came back shaking her head.  "The manager talked to her and she said she's not sure she could help.  She can't do the deepest tissue massages that you usually like."   She looked at Dean and Sam.  "Morning, gift certificates being renewed?"

"They're my proteges," Xander said with an evil grin.

She shivered.  "I'm sure they'll make wonderful yous some year, Mr. Harris.  Let me see what I can find you."  She sat down to call the place the manager had suggested, getting a nod while she talked quietly.  She hung up.  "The New Moon has an opening.  They do have someone who can do deep tissue massages and some of you do go over there so they all know."

Xander leaned over to hug her.  "Thank you!"

"You're welcome.  We love you for opening this place."  She wrote down the address and handed it to him.  "Go there, Mr. Harris."  He nodded and bounced out, Sam following.  She smiled at Dean.  "It'll be okay."

"Any precautions?"

"Just make sure the masseuse doesn't take him."

Dean just nodded and followed, going to drive them there.  The last one was subtle, what he imagined old money families lived like with marble, fountains, plants, and a lot of light from the skylights.  This one....  He'd seen New Age shops decorated in lighter tones.  It was a bit darker in there.  The lights were all around the strength of candles.  The fountain was hidden but heard.  The walls were all darker blue and the plants were laid around to pick up on the lights.  Sam walked Xander inside.  "Someone called for him?"

"Mr. Harris I presume?" the guy behind the reception desk asked.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "This way, sir.  We have a special lounge and waiting area for our GHS members and their security details."

"They're going with me," Xander said.  "If we can arrange it."

"Of course, sir.  One of our top masseuses is coming in just for you.  She's technically just went on maternity leave but she works on Toddy and Timothy Jacobs all the time."  Xander beamed and nodded at that.  He led them to a nice room, still darker than they liked, but it had soft couches and Xander snuggled into the corner of one.  "The changing area is behind the screen and there's a private sauna in the room so you don't have to worry about hormoning someone in there."

"Thank you," Xander said, shaking his hand.  "You're very helpful."

"We pride ourselves on it," he said with a smile, going to call her to make sure she was on her way in.

Xander got up and went to look at the changing area, coming out in a waist towel and a robe.  He gave both boys a shove.  "Go."

"We can wait to make sure she can work us in too," Sam said.

Xander gave him a look.  "Now."  Sam pouted but went to change.  He looked at Dean.  "You too."

"I'm good."

"So?  You're still sore from riding."  He smirked at that bit of logic.  Dean groaned as he got up but went to change too.  They came back out to find a pleasantly plump, pregnant woman walking in a rolling table.  Dean and Sam helped her set it up and let her kick the locks into place.  "Hi."  He gave her a hug.

"You're our local level ten," she said, shaking his hand.  "I'm Melissa.  You do deep tissue or did you want something lesser, Mr. Harris?"

"Deep tissue works good to get me out of my backed-up state.  These are Sam, the taller one, and Dean, the tougher one; my proteges of evil."

She laughed as she shook their hands.  "Welcome to the New Moon, gentlemen.  We've heard Mr. Harris isn't all that evil but I'm sure you'll be able to follow in his footsteps some day."  She got Xander onto the table, putting the robe down across the couch.  "Sit down, boys.  It'll take me about an hour to deal with his back and legs."  She turned on some music, making him smile and relax.  She let him choose oils and it was good.  She got to work starting on his shoulders.  "Relax further, Mr. Harris."

Sam came over and pressed on a spot, knocking him out.  "His boyfriend has been busy recently at work."

"That happens to the best of us."  She winked and he sat down with a blush.  "That's how I ended up pregnant.  My husband's an accountant and he needed some stress relief during tax time."  They laughed at that but it was nice laughter so she kept working.  Xander slowly woke up but he was staying more relaxed so it was fine.  She moved down, making him moan and arch into her hands.  She felt the hormones releasing but she was in the stage of pregnancy where she wanted sex anyway so it was fine with her.  She kept moving down, slowly but surely working all the stress out of him.

Sam looked at Dean.  "Had a thought," he said, leaning over to whisper in his ear.  "Xander forgot his wallet at home."  Dean got up and took his cellphone into the changing area to talk to Steve.  He'd send Danny with it.  Or someone.  Dean came back and Xander was still a puddle of goo.  A resonating puddle of goo.  She moved down to his legs and it got another moan.  "We were riding this morning," Sam told her.

"It's good exercise and I'm sure his horses are protective of him."

"Ryan made sure both Princesses knew to guard me," Xander agreed, sounding sleepy.

Dean nodded.  "Yes he did.  Yours is fussy over you too, Xander."

Xander turned his head to grin at him.  "It's good for me in case I get taken from the woods."

"Again?" Sam teased.

"No comment."

Melissa laughed.  "You all have to deal with that issue," she reminded them.  "Now and then it happens.  Thankfully there's people who can help rescue you."

"I go armed," Xander said dryly, making her cackle.  "Exactly.  I do a lot of rescuing myself."  He heard a phone ring.  "Is that mine?"

"You left yours at home," Dean told him.  Xander groaned, rubbing his forehead.  "I called Steve."  He answered his phone.  "What's wrong?"  He listened.  "We're at the New Moon spa, Don.  I told Steve that."  He smirked.  "There.  In the private room.  Xander's moaning on a table while the masseuse does his legs."  He nodded. "That's fine.  I can send Sammy out to get it.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Don's bringing it, Xander.  And your phone."   Sam tied his robe tighter and went to wait on Don.

"We've had the others who come here forget things before," Melissa assured him.

"Xander was a bit bouncy this morning," Dean admitted, looking at Xander.  Xander shrugged.  "Sammy won't get that bad, right?"

"You two are only half as bad as I am," Xander pointed out, yawning a bit.  She moved to his feet and he twitched.

"Relax.  There's some good pressure points to help you release those nasty hormones, Mr. Harris."

"Yes, Melissa."  Sam came back.  "Did Don repack it?"

"He drove through your ATM and made sure you had your shopping credit cards."  Ht put it next to Dean's phone then Xander's phone.  "You have a missed call but no new voicemails."

"I like that they programmed that to show," Xander said happily.  She let him flip over to do his chest and neck, earning a hug as he moved.  "You deserve good tips."

She poked him on the arm.  "I liked that tip too, Mr. Harris."  She went back to work on him, making him relax and let it all go.  "Are we going to do the sauna?"

"Mnn, sweaty," Xander said, thinking about it.  "Guys?  Wanna get sweaty?"

"If you want," Dean said patiently.  Anything that would keep Xander from hormoning them too.

"I don't care," Sam agreed.  "Whatever you want, Xander."

Xander looked up at her.  "Maybe the blue stuff in the sauna?  I've heard good things about it."

"Of course.  It's good for you guys."  She went to work on his shoulder, seeing the wince.  "Sore?"

"A bit.  I moved wrong earlier when I was jumping.  New horse syndrome."

"I'm sure he'll find a good communion with you when you're out riding," she soothed, working on that area.   Xander was limp by the time she was done.  Sam helped him off the table and onto the couch, watching him curl up to get comfortable.  "Which one of you first?"

"Sam's usually a bit backed up," Dean said, giving his brother a shove.  "Go ahead, baby brother."

"I'm not that much younger," he complained.  But he took off his robe and laid down on his stomach, getting a nod for that.  He moaned as she worked.  "A bit less pressure on my shoulders?"

"Of course."  She eased up some and he moaned and went limp.  "That's a normal reaction," she promised.  "I have people who do that all the time."  He blushed but shook his head.  "If you have to you have to."  She kept working, making Sam a limp puddle of goo.  Dean had to help him roll over he was so limp and sated.  Then it was Dean's turn.  "Harder, easier?"

"Harder.  I've got good muscles."  She nodded and helped him into the correct position.  Then she got to work and he understood why the other GHS did this all the time.  He kept his control though.  He would not come from this.  He refused to.  She kept making him relaxed and content, almost sleepy feeling.  When she was done with his front, she went to set up the sauna for them, helping them in there.  She added the doctored water to the rocks and it was good.  It smelled nice.  Kind of herby but that was fine.  Sam sat down and nearly fell onto his side, almost totally asleep.  Xander rested his head on Sam's hip and did nap.  Dean smiled, adding more water to the hot rocks to produce more steam.  As long as it helped them he didn't care.  He knew Sam and Xander weren't going to do anything that would make him take out Danny or Don when they came for his brother's head.  Melissa came back forty-five minutes later, smiling at the sleeping ones and him being a bit drowsy.  "They needed it."

"They did.  Come on, boys, out of the sauna.  We'll let you shower and then head home."  They got out and headed to the changing area to shower and redress.  Xander gave her a good bit of the cash in his wallet and a kiss on the cheek, plus a pat on the belly.  She walked them out, making sure they had everything.  Xander paid for the treatments with a credit card, frowning when it buzzed at him.  The second one went through.

"That bank's been down for the last hour," the receptionist said, letting Xander sign the slip.  "Thank you and do remember us for your next treatment, sir."

He smiled.  "You're definitely moving onto my favorites list."  That got a smile and he took a card, writing Melissa's name on the back for his future reference on the way out.  They piled back into the Impala and headed out of the parking lot. "Can we visit the boys?  I can pick up lunch on the way in."

"Sure," Dean agreed.  They pulled into somewhere and Xander came out with a huge box of food.  Dean shook his head.  "Do you feed everyone?"

"Of course.  You two have the chili at home."  They smiled and nodded, it had been good the day before too.  They pulled into the station twenty-five minutes later and Xander strolled inside, getting signed in.  The clerk looked in the box and smiled.  "It's good for you guys.  You can probably steal some.  I only really got enough for the lab and Don's people."  She nodded.  "Horatio said I could make a real lunch later this week."  He strolled that way, handing Frank the box since they were all listening to the Chief of Police talk about the current criminal crisis.  He frowned, nudging Frank.  "No one's been to Mo's Bar?" he whispered.

He looked at him. "How do you know Mo's?"

The Chief of Police stared at them.  "Mr. Harris.  Your boys forget their lunch?"

"Yup."  He smirked a bit.  "Mo's Bar is where Tony 'Tortellini' hangs out.  That sounds like his guys.  I know Don's mumbled a few of his guy's names in his sleep recently."  The Chief of Police smacked himself on the head.  "If he's not at Mo's, ask his girlfriend at Tragedy of Flesh where his hidden house is.  All I know is it's down toward Key West but not on that key."

"No one thought to ask you for your help?" the Chief asked dryly.

"My boys have been too tired to eat for the last six days, Chief.  I haven't spoke to them in five."  That got a nod.  "Speaking of, need to go over something with Don so he can interrogate me then."  He pulled Don up and into the locker room, locking it and slamming him against the wall beside the shower.  He kissed him hard and fast.  "You have two minutes."  Don turned them around and dropped Xander's pants, then his, flipping him around to slide inside.  Xander bit Don's arm to keep himself quiet but it was good.  Hard, fast, and they both needed it.  Don nearly had a haze around him from his backed up state.  Don came and pulled on Xander until he came too, then they took a few seconds to catch their breath.  Xander got them both straightened out, kissing him. "He's somewhere south of the Key with the mini deers, but north of Key West.  I have no idea where it is."

"What's his girlfriend's name?"

"Not a clue.  I know he's dating one of the strippers on the mid shift.  She's been doing it for over a year but I've only seen her once.  She was a brunette then and looked kinda tired.  She was talking about going in for a tightening up operation because she was starting to sag."

Don took another kiss and grinned.  "I could've sworn you gave me lunch."

Xander mugged his mouth.  "I did but I needed the good excuse and Horatio's backed up too.  Make sure Speed feeds him."  Don nodded so he backed off, looking at each other. "Sorry about the teeth marks."

"They happen.  It was good, thank you."

Xander grinned.  "We went to the spa.  Now I'm down to the naughty stage of backed up."

"I'll be home early tonight," he vowed.  Xander strolled out, Don following.  "He said his hideout's somewhere south of the Key with the mini deer and north of Key West.  His girlfriend's a stripper on midshift," he told Frank.  "He only saw her once, she looked tired, was a brunette, and was talking about a recent tightening op for her breasts."  Frank frowned, walking over to Ray's desk to find a file.  Don looked then called Xander to come back.  Xander walked back in with the boys.  "Ah, the family's proteges."  He let him see the picture.

"That's her.  Something that started with a C.  Cyndi, Candy, something like that."  He shrugged.  "Was she pregnant?"  Frank looked then nodded. "That's probably why.  Don Porice said something about his last girlfriend dying when she got pregnant."

"That's good ta know," Frank agreed, smirking at him.  "Any other tidbits of wisdom?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know until you guys ask a question."

"House boat, house, or protected house?" the Chief asked.

"He doesn't like boats.  He gets seasick.  That's why he didn't want to go on that poker ship to Cuba and back that one night.  So he might if necessary but he gets really green at the sight of boats."

"Why do they call him Tortellini?" Dean asked.

"He broke someone's arms and bent them like tortellini," Don said grimly.  "He's a migrated New Yorker."

"Who likes soda and the nastiest rum on the face of the earth," Xander told him.  "The really, really cheap, can't even clean the coffee maker or use it to flavor coffee, bottom of the barrel and the wood would taste better rum."

"I know that brand," one of the other guys said. "Only three places will sell that swill."

"Four," Dean said.  "The new place that opened by our motel last week has some.  We went in for beers."

"Okay, that's four places to ask if he's been in there."

"And he drinks a lot of it," Xander offered.  "During poker games he'd do the better part of a pint.  Never acted drunk.  Like my parents, I'm going to go with long term alchie for him."  They all nodded at that.  "So if he hasn't bought in the last few days, he's out of the city.  My parents never lasted over three days without a trip to the liquor store.  Even if they tried to stock up, the more they bought the more they drank."

"We can see if anywhere down there sells it," Don agreed.  One of the detectives went to do that.  "His other's a brunette?"

Xander shrugged.  "I only saw her because she came in to deliver a message from Two Toes and the guy that I personally called Stinky Breath because he smelled like he was eating shit that was four days old.  Like the stuff I use to fertilize the herb garden.  I'm not sure if it was his cigar or not."

Frank smirked.  "I know that cigar.  We have him on a slab too."  He found that file and the others, letting Xander pick out who he knew.  "Any idea what they do?"

"Two Toes and Stinky Breath were both bag guys.  They were at the club finding refuge because something had tried to take them out.  They were too old to be enforcers any more and the thug they were going after for payments was too tough for them.  They went to Tragedy to get away from him and sent her.  Those two were his bodyguards."  He frowned, looking at Frank.  "One of them was his cousin."  Frank went pale.  "Takeover?"

"Takeover," Don moaned, rubbing his forehead.  "Which means that the rash of crimes was the new guy taking over and taking out the people in his way.  Any new players you've heard about, Xander?"

Xander considered it then nodded slowly.  "Don Porice's younger son was just about to come out.  I didn't think they were talking to the society stuff.  And there's rumors that there's a new Cuban guy who just managed to get up here to extend his reach from there and San Salvador.  He started in Cuba, went to school there, then shifted his reach to the war-torn areas, taking over some of the abandoned territory.  His people moved into that area and he went back to Cuba because his second-in-command supposedly got arrested.  Then that guy got sent here.  He's been slowly building down in Little Havana with the Meurte's and some other gang I don't know.  But I did hear though Tommy that the main guy was up here and looking to set up relations.  They wanted to know if I wanted to meet and threaten him too."

Don nodded.  "No.  You can't go bankrupt him. He doesn't sound stable and we don't want another incident like we had with the General."

"Yes, dear."

Don kissed him.  "Know his name?"

"I do," Ray Kowalski called as he walked closer.  "And he was my last body."  He took Danny's camera back from him and showed Xander the pictures.  "Him?"

"That's ...  No, that's what's his name, the guy who lives in the pink stucco house by the Gables but he runs guns.  That's his second-in-command.  Sonny and he were buddies so I saw him at Fu's now and then."  The picture was flipped.  "That's Sonny's second-in- command."  The picture was flipped to the last body.  "That's the one that came from Cuba the last time.  Not the new head guy, his second.  So it was a meeting of the seconds?"   Ray nodded so he looked at Danny.  "Outsider?"  Danny nodded.  "Then it's Chuck."  They all groaned.  Chuck was their oldest local crime lord and he did not take nicely to people trying to upset his city. He usually said they were upsetting his retirement since he was nearly eighty.  "I'm figuring someone got pissed at all the violence of the takeover and decided to fix it."

"Probably," Don agreed.  He smiled at his boy.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome.  Are you going to make it home tonight or should I concentrate on the leftovers in the fridge?"

"We'll be home on time tonight," Danny promised.  Xander beamed and kissed him then bounced out with the boys behind him.  "Watch him today, Dean.  If they're doing this, Xander knows enough to be very dangerous to some of the people in the underground.  It wouldn't be the first time someone's tried to blow him up."  Dean nodded, then walked them onto the elevator.  He looked at the Chief.  "So, do we let Chuck finish cleaning them up for us?"

"Find that other guy, see if he's still alive.  Find the Cuban guy, Tripp, Flack, and Kowalski.  Everyone else, figure out who else is going to end up dead from our underground."  They nodded, heading back to their desks.  He came to look at the food then at Flack.  "You didn't get lunch?"

"Yeah but we haven't made it home before one in the morning in a week except for last night when we came in too tired and napped as soon as we sat down."  The Chief moaned.  "He's a bit backed up and needed a cuddle."

"Fine," he muttered, walking off shaking his head.  Xander was a very precious thing to have helping his department, even if he did drive them nuts.

"Hey, Flack," one of the patrol guys said.  "Are you sharing and is Xander supposed to be with the two guys in the limo?"

"No, he's supposed to be with the two guys in the Impala," Don called back. "Where are they?"

"Headed after the limo," the officer said, coming over to get dinner then headed out to see if he could check them.

Don called Dean's cellphone.  "Who was it, give me their license plate so we can have them stopped?"  He wrote down the information and let Frank call it in.  He listened to Dean say that cops were stopping the limo and he was heading to get Xander and Sammy back.  He hung up shaking his head.  "Got Xander and Sam."

Frank snickered.  "Xander calls them his proteges of evil."

"I'm sure he does," Don agreed, sitting down with a yawn.  He pulled out his lunch, smiling at the large, thick sandwich and packet of homemade salad dressing for it, plus the sweet fruit Xander loved to eat, and three ho-ho packages in there.  "I love my boy."  He settled in to eat while he ran searches on what they knew.  Frank looked at the fruit.  "It's sweet and good."  He let him cut off a piece and watched him moan.  "He finds it at that huge farmer's market over near the wines."  Dean walked in and handed Don someone then walked out.  "This the driver?"

"The higher end asshole who wanted Sammy and Xander to blow him.  Pity about his jaw."

"Thanks," Frank called, waving after him.  "They're definitely learning Xander's tricks for when things happen."

Don snickered, letting the patrol guys take him to an interrogation room while he finished his lunch and figured out who he was.

***

Danny parked that night, looking at the tired boys in the hot tub.  "Long day?"

"Sixteen guys with guns tried to break in," Dean muttered, opening his eyes halfway to look at him.  "We're sore from kicking their asses.  They didn't want to shoot Xander.  Before you ask, yes they were in the employ of an immie."  Sam moaned so he poked him.  "Danny's back."  Sam limply waved an arm.  "Yes, Xander took the challenge and got the guy.  All his people were staring at the moves he did.  Xander went very flashy when he kicked his ass for over an hour.  Mostly just dancing around to wear himself out.  He's in his tub.  We're in this one.  You mind?"

"Nah.  We do it," Danny assured him.  He walked inside, going to pull Xander out of the tub and tie him to the bed so he could solve his boy's problems.  Don came in already taking off his tie and it was good by the time they got Xander between them and able to beg again.

Dean heard the screaming in pleasure and grinned.  "He'll be slower tomorrow."

Sam blinked at him.  "Dude, go wear it out."

"I did last night. You're the one who keeps forgetting."

"I'm content and sated.  You're the one who needs it.  Don't make me go steal sex toys to make you use them."  Dean shook his head, getting out and heading for the car.  "I'll be back later," he called, waving a hand.  They had turned off the heater so it was like napping in a warm bathtub at the moment.  He'd get out when the water got cold.  Dean could club and find someone nice all he wanted without him watching his back.  Sam smelled something and looked up at the demon staring at him.  "I'm trying to nap."

"Would you consent to talk to me?"

"Maybe after my nap."  He put his head back down on his arms.  He felt something touch his leg.  "If that's a tentacle or something I'm cutting it off."  It withdrew and the demon left.  Sam sighed in pleasure and was falling asleep when he was taken to the warm pool on some other demon's realm.  He looked at the water, then shook his head.  "Oh, no.  Not happening," he called.  "Put me the hell back now!" he shouted.   "Before I call Xander!"  He got put back and had to use the tub to wash off.  Because he now stunk.  He got out and drained the tub, heading to the guard shack to get a cab to the motel.  Fortunately he had money on him and the keys.  The guard sniffed. "I know.  One came for me."

That got a nod.  "That seems to happen to Xander a lot."

"They pissed me off.  I needed the nap I was taking."  The guard smiled and helped him into the cab.  Sam showed him the key with the motel's address and name, getting an odd look.  "It's decent inside."  That got a nod and he drove Sam back there so he could shower then go back to his nap.  He'd deal with the demons later on.  When he wasn't so tired.  Then they'd all die.

Retribution!

Notes:  Starts after Dean comes over in the SPN outtake.  Angst Alert, animal deaths occur!

All three tied up boys woke up and looked at the women holding them hostage.  The guys were tied to chairs.  There were tvs in front of them.  The girls looked a bit insane.  "What do you want this time?" Xander sighed, sounding tired of this.

"We're going to turn you into proper men so you have to do things for your women," one said cheerfully.

"I'm gay," Xander told her.

They snickered.  "Not after we get done with you," the talkative one told him happily.

"I sincerely doubt my boyfriend would like that," Xander said dryly.  "Whatever torture you're going to try won't work so you might as well let us go, ladies.  We're already bored with this."

"Tough," one of the others said.  "We'll make sure you're good, sensitive men who listen to your women once we claim you."

"Wouldn't you rather have money or something?" Sam asked.  "Jewelry?  Xander has some pretty jewelry."

They considered it, moving off to talk to each other.

Xander looked at Sam, who shrugged.  "You do."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks, Sam.  Got an idea," he promised.  "Dean, you good?"

"So far I'm just really confused," he admitted.  "I turned down the redhead in the club the other night because she wasn't that good on the floor."

"I'm *so* bringing this back out the next time you complain about one of them coming for me," Sam assured him.

The ladies came back.  "You have really pretty jewelry?"  Xander nodded.  "Diamonds?"

"I've got some loose.  I tend for subtle in my personal jewelry, ladies."  They moaned at that.  "If you'll let Sam go to my boyfriend, he'll pay whatever ransom you want.  Sam's a widow and he's not ready for a new woman yet."

They stared at each other then nodded, untying Sam and walking him off to the their car to drop him off with instructions.  The one with Dean and Xander turned on the tv and the DVD player.  "While we wait, it'll be instructional and I'm sure your future women will like you to be more sensitive."  She skipped off.

Xander looked at the title then at Dean.  "Dress movie, fair warning."

Dean shuddered.  "I can't get free," he complained, trying again.

"Me either.  They actually got my pocket knife this time."  Dean tried for his but it was in his front pocket at the moment.  "We can endure. It won't take that long."  Dean nodded at that.  "Just blank your mind, man.  It'll help.  Willow made me watch these things a few times."  Dean went back into his head, the same place he went to when he was avoiding other demons trying to torture him.

***

Sam looked at her.  "There's no payphone here.  Miami's short on payphones because everyone has a cellphone."

"I'm sure there's one somewhere in this park," she said cooly.  She finally found one and dropped him off, handing him four quarters.  "Three hours.  Here."  She drove off again.

Sam checked the payphone. It was dead.  Fortunately he saw a nearby cop and jogged over to him.  "Officer!" he stopped his horse to look at him.  "I'm helping Detective Flack protect his protectee and we've been kidnaped.  I've got the ransom demands.  The phone's broken.  Do you have one?"

He nodded, handing over his cellphone.  "Flack in Homicide?"  Sam nodded as he dialed.  "Have him come here."

"He'll need to stop at the bank.  Don, Sam.  Some psycho girls that Dean turned down in the club have Xander and Dean tied to chairs and are threatening to make them sensitive men.  Three mil in diamonds, loose is fine.  Which park is this?"

"Canal."

"I'm in Canal park and they said to be back here in three hours.  Yeah, this is an officer's phone."  He handed it back.  "Detective Flack."

"Sir," he said, listening to the instructions.  "The one with the hair?"  He just nodded.  "Yes, sir.  I can do that.  Sure.  We're on the other side, we can meet you there in thirty."  He hung up.  "Can you ride?"

"Xander's been teaching us."  He climbed up behind him and they trotted over to the other side of the park.  "Thank you for your help, Officer."

"Women like that belong in a home.  What was their plan for making them more sensitive?"

"I'm not sure but there was a tv and a dvd player in front of them.  It's possible it's dress movies or something light like that.  My brother's going to throw a fit for turning the stupid posse down in the club."

"I don't wanna ask or anything but is your brother like the one with the hair?  You hear rumors and the like."

Sam grinned.  "We both are.  Xander's our mentor."

"Oh!  Makes more sense then.  After all, we heard Flack's boy is one of the people who keeps weeding down the underground and he takes it real personal when they try to get him back.  Heard a lot about some arrests after they broke in and stole his tv."  He stopped his mare and let Sam slid down.  "That's Detective Flack pulling in with the crime lab hummer I'd guess."  Flack jumped out.  "Yup, only detective in Miami who wears a mauve suit.  Safe and sound, sir.  They dropped him by the non-working payphone."

"Thanks, Officer," Don said with a grin.  "Sam, what happened?"

"We were eating breakfast and going over Xander's list of what he wanted to bounce around and do today."  Don moaned at that.  "Dean said he turned one of them down at a club the other night.  They wanted us to be more sensitive men.  Xander pointed out I was a widow, kinda, and they let me bring the ransom demand since I wasn't ready for a girl yet according to Xander."

"My boy can plan," Don said, walking him off.  "Three mil in diamonds?"

"They were trying to get out of the 'you'll be our boyfriends' mindset by offering them jewelry."

"That'll work," Don promised.  He took him to the bank and got what they needed then came back out while Eric took a full statement from Sam on what had happened so far today.  They'd need it for the arrest reports later.  They came back and went to watch the park for the drop off time.  Sam was on a bench rubbing his forehead.  Though someone did come up to talk to him.  Sam told him to bugger off and he huffed off.  "Must be another of the ones who wanted him," Don muttered.

"Probably," Eric agreed.  They saw a Pontiac sedan pull in and a girl get out, looking around before darting over to talk to Sam.  He stiffened and grabbed the briefcase like he had been told to.  They swarmed out and grabbed the girl, and the other one in the car.

"You shouldn't do this to us.  The other two will have more time to become sensitive.  We'll get them anyway!" she shouted as she was drug off.

"Warehouse by sixth?" Eric asked.

"Yeah."  He led them back the way she had driven them to the park, finding the warehouse.  Sure enough, they could all hear Helena Bohnam Carter sobbing very loudly over a voice over.  They broke in and rescued the two boys, both of who had retreated back into their minds.  The girls were arrested and they made sure they got all of them.  The officer driving the van that came to get them snickered the whole way back to the station about the girls' idea of torture but that was to be expected.

Don gave Xander a hug.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Thank you."  He gave him a squeeze.  "Love you."

"Love you too, Xander."  He looked at Dean.  "You good?"

"I didn't watch enough to hug you but I'll punch you on the arm in thanks," he offered, doing that and walking off shaking his head at Eric's look.  "Don't ask, man.  Really."

"I know.  I've dated girls like her."

"I didn't do more than have half a dance with her.  She had no rhythm and sucked on the floor."  He rubbed his head.  "Those are horrible."

"I know.  C'mon.  Don, are you taking him to the usual spot?"  Don nodded.  "That's fine, bring him back for statements in a few.  Bring sandwiches or something too, guys."  He walked Dean off to join Sam in the back of the hummer so he could take him back and get his statement too.

Dean looked at Sam.  "Two movies.  You couldn't go faster?"

"No, sorry."  He shrugged.  "I tried!"

"At least you saved us.  The sobbing was getting to me."  He rubbed his forehead.  "I have a headache."

Eric snickered.  "You'll live, Dean."

"Unfortunately with the image of corsets and huge skirts that no man could get under."

"That was half the point," Eric assured him. He drove them back to the department and let them follow him inside to take Dean's statement.   Don came in an hour later with lunch and a quiet Xander.  "The usual guy not want them?"

"Nah, he did.  He was overjoyed.  One of the new guys in the back nearly did cartwheels.  We got Xander calmed down again."  That got a knowing look and a nod.  "Food!" he yelled.  "There's more coming for patrol later!"  The regular officers went back to work while the detectives and the lab got their food and went back to work.  The patrol guys got pizza a few minutes later and it was all good.  They got Xander's statement and even Speed had to come in and hug Xander for that torture.  "Dean, you good?"

"I'm fine.  Headache but I'm fine.  How many of us are there in the building?" he muttered.

"Danny's up the hall," Xander said, leaning on Don's arm.  "A few others in town."  He yawned.  "What'm I doing today?"

"Going over more weapons work with the boys," Don reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."

Sam chuckled. "He can take a nap.  We'll do research or something this afternoon."  Dean nodded that was fine with him.  "We can spar against each other without Xander refereeing."  They all nodded at that and finished lunch then let the boys take the sleepy Xander home to nap on the couch while they got the practice room.

Don finally got to burst out laughing.  Eric too.  "Oh, man.  Psych evals?"

"Already sent," Eric promised, taking Horatio lunch.  "H, got the boys back from the psycho posse who wanted them to be sensitive men."

"I've heard."  He took the sandwich.  "Are they all right?"

"Headaches.  They were being forced to watch girly movies."  He walked off grinning.

Horatio shook his head.  Some women had strange tastes.  He dug into his sandwich, smiling because Don had remembered to get him one without mustard.  That had been nice of him.

***

Xander gave the boys a relaxed look, smirking some because Sam was twitching.  "What's wrong?"

"Why are you so mellow?" he complained.

"Don's good."

"Beyond that?" Dean asked.

"Don gave me a slight dose of the herbs that wear out stuff to keep me out of backlog."  They looked confused.  "I haven't gone over the herbs with you yet?"  They shook their heads so he got up with a moan and went to get his copy from the library, bringing it back to the living room.  "The things on that list are GHS allergies.  For the most part they'll wear out the hormones.  They can also kill you if you take them more than once in a great while.  I was on them for two weeks straight thanks to a herbalist who hated us and I lost twenty pounds.  I was so lethargic I wasn't getting up."

Dean looked at him.  "This is pretty extensive."

"Greggy did a blood allergy study on a lot of different herbs to make sure there weren't any others.  See, what they do is they leech out the backlog but they also mute your sense of how much you're storing and putting out.  So you start out feeling really great and then you start to backlog and don't realize it, but your body's having an allergic reaction at the same time so you're lethargic along with confused.  All I got told was that it'd make me feel better so I had about six things on the list in my system.  Plus I passed it to Horatio and Don."

Dean nodded slowly.  "So, for the really bad rescues.  Or we're horribly backlogging and can't get rid of it?"

"A small dosage, as ordered by Speed in this family, can handle that but then you can't do it again for weeks, if not months.  On the back are things that will *raise* your levels."  They looked and moaned.  "I know, a few spellish herbs.  Don't inhale the smoke and wear gloves when you work with them.  Don tested the gas that has the chemical compound after it.  He went from a two to an eight with one puff.  The guy said his happy gas gave you a content feeling.  He turned into a kitty cat in heat."

"That's a jump," Dean said.

"His body had been pushing things down since he was naturally a five.  It blew all that open then raised him."

"We're never touching that," Sam said, getting up and grabbing his journal out of the car to bring back and make note of it.  "Thankfully we don't have to do much work with herbs."

"Thankfully," Dean agreed, taking the list to look over more carefully once Sam had it copied down.  He frowned, thinking of something, looking at their mentor.  "The guys who take us.  They can use the second list, right?"

Xander nodded.  "And have.  Paul and Soshar won't take you back if you say you want to stay.  If you tell them yes, please take it, then they have you even if you do deny it later.  So raising your level means that you have a better than average chance of staying there.  It's not *common* but it's not uncommon.  Most of the ones who want a GHS member of their own think about them like pets.  They try to intimidate you or make you want to stay by force and showing you how miserable you'll be without them.  Then again, for guys castration's a usual outcome.  Fortunately we grow back.  I speak from experience when I say it hurts like hell."  Dean gripped his with a moan.  Sam whimpered. "The monsoon demon tried with me when he got me right after I came over.  It hurts like hell, guys.  Try to avoid it because growing back doesn't feel much better."

They nodded, they'd remember that.

Xander yawned and curled up again.  "Go play upstairs or online."  They went to practice, many years of drills coming back easily as they added to their skills.  Xander flipped it to the food network and went to sleep on the couch with the dogs next to him.  They hadn't moved the whole talk but they were probably tired anyway since it was hot outside today.

Dean looked at Sam, shaking his head.  "How would a level ten manage to hunt like he was?"

"Anya was wearing it out from what he said.  Plus danger can hold it down a bit.  So the constant problems out there plus a nympho girlfriend...."  He parried a thrust and ducked under and around to get him on the back.  They could go all out now and not worry about really hurting each other as long as the swords stayed away from their necks.  They had taken the dance steps they had learned and added them to what they already knew, changing it a bit here and there to fit their body types and muscles.  Sam was still a lot more graceful than Dean was, more flowing and twisting, while Dean was a straightforward fighter.  More sneaky too since he had gotten him on the thigh with a dagger he had hidden on his waistline.  "I hate when you do that."

"So will they and I could've hit your eye."  He dodged to pick it up again before jumping back in against Sam.  "You've still got to learn to wear it out better, Sammy."

"I'm trying.  I can't go out and pick up in the clubs like you do."

"Yeah, well, hand meet flesh, little brother.  Sometimes even I've gotta do it that way."

"Modest today, aren't you?" he taunted back.  He struck him in the shoulder, making Dean yelp but not fall down.  "Most normal people would fall down."

"We're not normal."

"You and me?  Well, no."

"Other immies either," he pointed out dryly.  "Faster healing in them too."

"Good point."  Dean had to duck a swing at his head, but that was fine.  "I won."  Sam smirked.  "That means I get to decide on dinner tonight."

"Sure.  As long as it's not too spicy.  My ass still burns from the last one, Sammy."

Sam snickered.  "Poor baby.  I'm sure Xander knows some nice guys who'll cure that for you."

"Still like girls better or else you'd be bent over," he shot back with an evil smirk.  Sam snickered, walking off to get them a drink.  Dean opened the windows, enjoying the fresh air.   It was nice here at the house.  Very little of the city's smog managed to make it out here and the grounds were pretty.  Even if there was a demon in the yard staring up at him.  "What do you want?" he asked calmly.

"You."  The world flashed and they disappeared together.

Sam came back with a drink for Dean, looking around.  "Dean?" he called.  He could've gone down to the bathroom.  "Dean!" he called more loudly.  "Are you coming back to practice some more?"  Still no answer.  He went to look.  He wasn't in the house.  The car was still there.  Yeah, this was not good.  He went to wake Xander up.  "Something stole Dean."

Xander yawned and nodded, getting up to find him something in the books in the study.  "Tracking charm?"

"That'll help," Sam agreed with a grin, watching the worn out one go back to his couch to nap.  Sam looked up the tracking charm.  It wasn't that hard.  He went to gather the stuff and found something wrong with the dogs.  They weren't responding.  They weren't moving.  They didn't sniff at him when he walked past them.  He went back to check, finding them both stiff.  And it wasn't magic.  "Aw, shit," he muttered, and that woke Xander up fully.  "Xander, don't freak, but the dogs aren't okay."

Xander scowled, moving to check his dogs.  They weren't all right.  They were dead.  He growled, "What happened?"

"I don't know, Xander.  We were upstairs."  Xander's glare got turned on him and he backed up.  "You know I'd never hurt them."

Xander calmed himself, swallowing hard.  "Can you call Don?"

"You sure you don't want to tell him?"

"I'm going to take them to the vets to see what happened," he decided.  Sam nodded, giving him a hug.  "Thanks, Sam.  I'll help with the Dean thing later."  He picked up his poor babies and took them out to the SUV.  They should have a nice final ride.

Sam called Don, checking on the other animals.  "Don, it's Sam.  No, bad news.  Sure, hand the phone to Horatio and I'll tell him."  He waited and then sighed.  "Horatio, Sam.  We just found both the dogs dead in the house.  On their usual spot on the ottomans.  In rigor," he admitted.  "I don't remember them hopping up to help us eat lunch either.  Xander's taken them to the vets so they can figure out what happened."  He nodded.  "I'm watching three of the four ferrets drink and wiggle.  Hubert's napping in the sun.  Sure, I can do that."  He hung up and grabbed the pet carriers.  "Hubert, hit the black car," he ordered.  The dragon groaned but walked that way.  He got the ferrets, putting in a water bottle as well.  He hoped whatever had happened wasn't someone poisoning their animals.  Xander would destroy someone if this was an enemy.  He knew where the pets went to the vets, it was on the fridge.  He took that with him, heading that way with them.  He got there as Xander was walking out.  "Horatio said to bring the others to make sure they weren't poisoned too," he said quietly.

Xander nodded, opening the door to walk the ferrets inside, Hubert following at his usual waddle.  "Horatio suggested I have the others checked to make sure they weren't poisoned or whatever too."

The receptionist looked at him.  "Do we think it's possible?"

Xander nodded.  Sam answered.  "Three of the four ferrets were drinking at the same time like they hadn't seen water in days."

She nodded, paging the doctor to come look at them.  "We'll see, boys.  Go park the cars," she told Sam, getting a nod and him doing that.  She let Sam into the room when he finished and Danny when he showed up with his kit.  "Do we think?"

"We tested their food."  He walked in and looked t the doctor, handing over a test pad.  "In the ferret's food."

"Hubert eats people food."

"His joint pain is probably growing pain," the vet told him, looking at the test pad.  He had Xander hold one while he drew blood, going to do a definitive test.  It came back a half hour later and he brought in what they needed to treat them.  "We'll have to keep them for a few days, Xander," he said calmly.  Xander started to crack but Danny hugged him, letting him cry against his shoulder.  "It's very recent.  It's not very strong in that one's blood so I'm going to say it'll be treatable without any lasting damage," he promised.  Xander nodded, looking at him.  "It'll be okay and we'll keep Hubert for a few days too, just in case."

"We'll find out who did it," Sam vowed.  "That's just low."

The vet nodded.  "Not the first time it's happened but we usually see them in divorce cases," he admitted.  "Hubert, come on.  We'll do a heat treatment on your knees."

"We do a warm bath for him most of the time," Danny offered.

"We can do that," the vet promised.  "You can come visit them, Xander.  It won't take more than a few days to treat them and to make sure Hubert's really fine."  He nodded, wiping off his cheeks.  "I'll check the dogs for that too."  He left them alone.

Sam patted Xander on the back.  "We'll figure it out," he reminded him. "Then we'll get the bastard until they beg for death."

Xander looked at him, nodding, stiffening again.  "Yeah, I will be."  He looked at Danny.  "Criminal, poker buddy?"

"No clue yet.  We're running fingerprints."  He walked them out, looking at the cars.  "Xander, let Sam drive you home.  I'll get the SUV there with someone else."  Xander nodded, letting Sam lead him over to his car.  Danny called a friend.  "Adam, Danny.  Someone poisoned Xander's dogs and ferrets.  The dogs are dead."  He listened to him gasp then ask the usual question - who in the hell did that.  "We're looking.  His SUV is down at the vet's.  Can you drive it back?  Sam has Xander.  I didn't want to make him drive."  He nodded.  "Thanks."  He hung up and leaned back into the clinic.  "A friend's getting the SUV for us.  I didn't want Xander to drive."  The receptionist nodded so he went back to work at the house.  Someone was going to get the whole family in their face. If it was a criminal....  Oh well.  If it was an immie....even better.

***

Xander woke up panting and Don gave him a hug.  "Shh.  You're okay."

"Pride?"

"He's fine.  We told the guys out there and they've checked everything.  They're all fine, Xander."  Xander slumped but nodded.  "Where's Dean?"

"Something took him while I was napping.  He and Sam were taking a sparring break and Dean disappeared while he went to get a drink.  He found the dogs were gone while he looked for him."  He looked at Don.  "You promise?"

"I promise he's fine."  Xander nodded, resting against his chest.  "Shh.  We'll be fine.  We'll get this person and make them beg for mercy, which we won't give.  It'll be okay."  Xander nodded against his chest, letting it out again.  "Shh.  I know they were like your babies.  We'll be okay."  He looked over as Danny woke up behind him.  "You good?"

"Fine.  Nightmare?"

"Pride."

"The horses are fine."  He gave him a hug and as much of Xander as he could get.  "Shh.  It'll be fine, guys.  Let yourselves grieve and then we'll get revenge."  They nodded, cuddling him now.  Sam was in one of the guest rooms.   They had been since the demon had shot Dean and brought him across.  They'd manage both emergencies.  Sam had talked to Ryan earlier about the best way to do rescues from a demon realm.  Xander had been miserable all night.  Don had nearly collapsed when he had heard.  Horatio had to catch him before he hit the pavement.  They both had tomorrow off to deal with this issue.  They were hoping whoever did it either was in the system or would show themselves fairly soon to gloat.  Which most criminals did.

***

Dean looked around his silken prison.  It wasn't fun.  He was having a lot of not-fun.  The place was like some cheezy harem porno.  All silk pillows, silk on the walls to hide them and make it look like a tent. He was dressed in harem pants.  Thin harem pants.  And there was a breeze so he was discontent and wondering when someone was going to get there.  Nothing had come near him yet.  At least not since he had woken up.  He had checked himself first thing, keeping in mind Xander's earlier warning about castration.  He was all there but no one was showing themselves.  So he had no idea what was going on.  A plate appeared next to him but he snorted and turned away from it.  He didn't want to eat anything the creature gave him.  That would appear grateful and he wasn't.  At all.  He was really kind of pissed.  Unfortunately pillows made bad weapons.  There wasn't even a hard object in the room.  The breeze started again and he shifted his position.  His balls were getting cold.  This was so not cool with him!

"You will be mine," a breathy voice said.

Dean looked around.  "I don't talk to incorporeal beings," he noted dryly.  He went back to unraveling a pillow's cording.  At least then he'd have a rope, maybe.  He hoped.

The demon appeared.  "I can be reasonable."

Dean looked at him.  "Do I care?  You have me hostage.  I don't care what you can be."

"You'll learn your place."

Dean snickered.  "Yeah.  Right," he said coldly, glaring at him.  "My place is back in Miami with my brother."

"There's no relation but I can bring him if you talk me into it."

Dean snorted.  "Dude, Sammy and I would destroy you.  Hell, I can destroy your pitiful nature.  I'm debating ways to find the most interesting one so I won't be bored while I do it."

The demon stared at him.  "You are not that stubborn."

Dean snickered.  "You have no idea who I am or what I am.  You're going to be missing in action soon.  I'd enjoy your last few days of life."

The demon laughed and disappeared.  "You should eat.  Getting weak will not help whatever pitiful plan you have."

Dean looked up.  "You do remember I'm trained by Xander personally, right?"  He went back to unraveling the pillow.  He already knew that there wasn't a doorway in the room.  No air vents, no floor vents, no way for him to get out.  Though now he knew what was keeping him here.  A wind demon was not a happy thing.  He looked up.  "Yo, a bit of a weapon here?" he prayed.  "Please?"  Nothing appeared.  "Sorry, I know that you probably ignore us, but could use the help," he said again.  Still nothing.  "Fine."  He went back to thinking.  Cupid was over GHS members.  He sent a prayer to him for a weapon to get out of this really cheesy room he was stuck in and back into his comfortable jeans.  Because that breeze was cold!  He looked up.  "Giving me hypothermia won't help you any!" he noted.  "I'll die of it first."  The breeze stopped. "Thank you."  He went back to his project of the moment.  Silk rope was strong....

***

Xander looked up when he felt a quickening coming, frowning and grabbing his katana.  "Hmm."  He walked out back, staring at the man who had come over his back fence.  "Didn't I send you to jail for breaking into my house?" he asked bluntly.

"That was a mistake.  That's not how the game is played," he sneered back.

"True, but you were annoying the fuck out of me and I didn't care."

"Do you now?  I heard you're ... missing some things."

Xander pulled a gun and shot him, making him scream as he fell down on his now missing knee.  "Yeah, about that."  He walked closer, staring at him.  "You're so very dead for touching my pets.  Beyond being pathetic, that's a clear cry for help.  I think God can give that to you."

He stood up, wincing as it healed.  "You can't beat me.  Not with all the fancy moves in the world.  You don't keep up with your training, boy."

"You'd be surprised."  He waved him on.  "You want it, you take me, not my pets.  Pathetic," he sneered.  "Absolutely pathetic to go after animals."  The man lunged with his sword and he was good.  He couldn't have beaten him before the trip to the realm with the Gods and his training with the dances.  He could now.  "Now, what's your name again?  Holdup, something like that?  That way the Watchers get it right on your tombstone."

"Holden," he sneered back.  "Your death."

"Yeah, right."  He dodged a cut then shrugged and let him have it for real, sort of.  He was lulling him into a false sense of security.  The guy was really good.   He misjudged a swing and the guy's sword came at his neck.  He gave him a look and heard Sam shout in that nanosecond before it happened then he froze him, moving out of the way as the blade stopped.  He stared at him, then at Sam.  "Hi.  Go back inside, Sam.  I'm being an asshole."  Sam came out.  "Sam."

"I can help."

"If you're that close, we can share the quickening and no one's sure what'll happen."

Sam grimaced.  "Those aren't fun."  He patted him on the back, looking at the frozen guy.  He was still able to think, his eyes were moving and he was trying to move his mouth.  "You sure you want his head?"

"No.  I want to torture his ass."  He grinned at Sam.  "Then we'll go rescue Dean?"

"Sure."  He went back inside, grabbing something and bringing it out.  "Ice?"

"I could use a drink."  He took a glass to drink, then looked at him.  "What to do to you?" he mused.

"This isn't how the game goes," Ares said as he appeared.

Xander looked at him then shrugged.  "Yay.  He poisoned my dogs and my ferrets.  He deserves it."  The god stared at him.  "You want me to really take him?  I'll do that after I make him fucking sorry for touching what's mine."

"Hormone him," Ares said dryly.  "Just quit warping a challenge."

Xander shrugged. "No one told me magic wasn't allowed.  I never got a handbook.  I'm a live and let live sort until you touch what's mine, Ares.  You know that."

Ares nodded.  "I do.  Torture still isn't like you, Xander."

Xander smirked.  "What did I do to Angelus?"

"Tortured him," he admitted.

"And that demon that tried to make us all pokemons in Sunnydale?"

"Tortured him."

"Then why can't I do this one?"

"That's grief talking," Ares pointed out.  "That's not the right way to take him."

Xander shrugged. "He's not a challenge anyway, Ares.  I was only teasing and testing him earlier."

"I know that.  I've seen you go all out.  The same as I have Ryan.  And Sam.  You're good.  They'll go learn a lot of styles to keep themselves safe and whole for a long time."  Xander nodded at that wisdom, Sam did too.  "You still can't do it this time.  Remember, you have a few neighbors and one has security on the grounds."

Xander frowned at the security guard who showed up.  "Hi.  He poisoned my dogs."  They just nodded.  "The family's coming."  They nodded and left them alone.  He looked at Ares again.  "So if I call the others and we argue about who takes his head?"

"That's not honorable single combat," he said dryly.

"He can challenge anyone he wants.  Get someone easier, like Ray.  He might win against Ray but I doubt it."

Ares stared at him.  "Fine, you're pissed.  You're angry.  You're grieving."

"They're as close as I'm getting to kids."

"I understand that.  Still a bad idea to get a rep like this."

"Who'll know?   Sam, are you going to tell others?"

"If anyone asks I'll point out that you're vicious when someone touches you or your family.  That you're a berserker and that you can do things that will make men beg to lose both heads."  He sipped his drink.  "Do we have any idea who has Dean?"

"That monsoon demon," Ares told him.

"Thought so, wanted to make sure."

"I know."  He looked at Holden, unfreezing him.  He screamed and lunged at Xander.  "Do it right," he ordered, staring his boy down before he disappeared.

Xander shrugged. "Fine.  I can do that."  He lunged in to meet him and beat his ass.  The guy was screaming and begging for mercy by the time he was done chopping off pieces of him.  Fingers, ears, part of his nose in a strange backhand swing.  Chunks of flesh.  One hand eventually.  The formerly injured knee got it again when he tripped and it got in range.  Xander kept his sword as sharp as possible so a good chop into a joint was enough to cut very deeply into it.  The man was screaming and Xander finished him off with a negligent swing and a sneer, taking the quickening.  He sighed, looking at the mess.  "I should burn it."

"Why?" Mac asked as he walked out of the house.  "You better?"

"Pissed.  He poisoned my dogs and ferrets!"

"I know," he agreed mildly.  "I don't care what you did to him, Xander.  For being that childish he deserved to be beaten."  He looked at the mess.  "This was a bit much."

"They're like his kids," Sam pointed out.  "You can have kids, we can either adopt or have pets."

"Point," Mac agreed.  He gave Xander a hug, getting one back and let the boy finish grieving on him.  "Shh, it's all right, Xander.  We'll pick up the pieces and bury him."  Xander nodded against his shoulder.  "Shh.  You're fine."  Xander pulled back to wipe off his face.  "You better?"

"We have to go rescue Dean."

"You two do that while I pick up the pieces."  Xander nodded, cleaning off his sword and finishing his ice water before taking Sam with him off realm to the DPP realm then transferring over.  Mac looked at the mess then sighed and went to pull a body bag out of his car and call a clean up team.  "Holden came after Harris.  He's the one who poisoned his, Messer, and Flack's dogs.  Xander lost it on him for daring to touch his pets."  He hung up and the clean up crew came to help him.  They were camouflaged as a set of body haulers, but they weren't heading anywhere near an ME's office.

One of them looked at the mess.  "Why did he lose it?  This is nastier than usual."

"Holden poisoned their pets," Mac told him.  "Both dogs, all the ferrets.  Xander considers them like his children."  They just nodded. "Then he came back to taunt him about it.  Probably about Xander having him thrown in jail for breaking into his house to poison them so he could have an easy set of heads."

"That's cheap," the body hauler agreed.  "Hunters like that suck."

"Xander only hunts when his family's attacked," Mac assured them.  They nodded and finished finding all the pieces, putting them into the bag.  The funeral home they used would put him back into the right order.  He filled out a field report and handed it over.  It did mention a brutal amount of violence in this challenge, plus Sam having been here, but he also noted that Xander only went after people like this when they hurt his family.  He'd have Stella file it with her report later.  He looked up once the body haulers were gone.  "Thanks for the head's up, Ares," he said quietly.  "I'll let his boys know that they're clear now."  He went to do that.  Stella was back in the lab so he handed her the report, getting a grimace.  "Someone will say something.  Make sure it states that."

"Of course.  He's not violent, usually."  She went to file it from her temporary desk.

Mac went to find Horatio and Don, who were arguing over something.  He cleared his throat.  "Holden?"  Horatio grimaced but nodded.  "Not an issue."  They both stared at him.  "He showed up to challenge Xander.  It took the clean up crew over thirty minutes to find all the parts," he said very quietly.  Don shuddered.  "Sam was watching.  They went to save Dean from the monsoon guy who has him."

Don just nodded.  "Charming."  He walked off shaking his head.  He'd call Xander in a while to check on him.  Frank gave him a worried look.  "The guy who did it showed up to challenge Xander," he said in his ear.  That got a nod.  "Pity," he said in a normal voice.

"Probably.  Xander?"

"Went with Sam to rescue Dean."

Frank rolled his eyes.  "You guys live an insane life."

"Well, yeah," he admitted with a grin.  He went to his desk, checking it over before sitting down.  "Did you know it was the same guy who we had arrested for breaking into the old house?"  Frank shook his head slowly.  "It slipped out then that he was going to poison us."

"Easier pickings?"

"Yup."

"So him getting the dogs...."

"Showed he was pathetic," Don agreed.  Ray Kowalski looked at him.   "Non issue."

"Good.  I'll let Adam know so he can calm down too."  He texted him that and let it go.  Xander would protect his family the same way he and Adam did each other.

***

Sam looked around the monsoon palace as they walked through it.  "It's open and gaudy," he decided.

Xander snickered.  "It was worse when he kept trying to take me.  It was all gold leaf and carvings of penises then."  He looked at the new ceiling then shrugged.  "We can destroy it on the way out if Dean wants."  He found the area he wanted to be in, finding the first door that was sealed shut.  A good kick and it was open, letting them see Dean, who was looking a bit pissed.  "Sorry, had to handle a challenge."

"I saw that."

Sam leaned in, looking at the mirror, then at him.  "Probably not the whole truth."  He hauled his brother out, looking him over.  "This isn't Dean.  Some of his scars are missing."

Xander frowned, then traced the quickening he could barely feel.  "Hmm.  Stupid of the demon, really."  He found the right area of the palace and a wall in his way.  So he destroyed the wall, the ceiling, and the walls it was attached to.  He loved the smell of explosives.  He found the right room and leaned in once he had kicked the door open.  "Morning.  There was a fake you Sam's beating."

"Decent of him."  He got up and looked at himself.  "I'm never going to live this outfit down."

"I came home wearing girl clothes, Dean."   Dean snickered.  "That was the first time I met Horatio and Speed.  They had come up for the weekend to help us and they got there just about as I got back.  Connor laughed his ass off with Giles about it but they helped me unjewelry and undress then shower."  He led him out, pricking his finger with a knife to make sure it was him.  Yup, little blue lightening showed up so it was him.  "Last check."

"I know."  They walked out there together and Sam took a picture.  "Sam!"

"That's not him either," Sam complained, staring at his brother.  He stabbed him and green blood ran out.  "See?"

"He had a quickening and red blood when I did the finger prick test.  Okay, so we'll destroy the whole building."  He pulled another charge out of his backpack and moved to set it on a structural beam.

Sam followed, it was safer to be wherever Xander was going to be than staring in a hallway at the two not-Deans.  That also meant he got to take the guards out when they came rushing to stop them.  "Did you really go after the monsoon demon with a sword?"

"Hell yes!   He stole me after I got sent back, again!"  He laid another charge and set off the first one, then moved Sam on, casually destroying all the pretty artwork around the house.  They finally collapsed the rest of it and watched it fade out.  Leaving a demon and Dean.  "Hey, Dean?  At least it's not a skirt."

"I heard," he called back.  "Sword?"

"Doesn't really work against their kind," Sam admitted, but he did start a banishing chant.

Xander poked him on the arm.  "We're on his realm.  Where are you going to banish him to, Sam?"

Sam stopped to think then shrugged.  "I didn't think about that."  Dean snickered, shaking his head.  "Sorry, had a challenge earlier."

"He let me see," Dean assured him.  "He did what?"

"Poisoned the dogs and killed them.  Poisoned the ferrets but they're being treated," Sam told him.

Dean just nodded once.  "Didn't get enough chunks, Xander."

"I know.  But he was begging and I was getting tired."  That got a nod of understanding.  "If I had left it too much longer, I would've had to rest and take another round once it had all grown back."

"Good point."  He turned and punched the presently solid wind demon, knocking him over.  Sam came over with the supplies and they got to work dealing with the stupid demon, making him *very* sorry for daring to take Dean.  Once they were done they strolled over.  "So, how do we get home?"

"Hmm.  There's the usual way," Xander said.  "Of course there was no direct connection to the DPP realm and they didn't want to deal with it today since he's a higher elemental.  So we could road trip.  Give you guys a good lesson in identification.  It'll be the same stuff I learned working in the brothel."  He walked them off, taking them to a bar realm that he knew about.  They could get nearly anywhere from there.  Dean grimaced when they landed.  "Clothes first," Xander promised, handing over his backpack.  Dean looked then grinned and pulled out clothes to put on.  He cut the harem pants' legs to make them boxer shorts so he could pull jeans on overtop of them then pulled on a t-shirt and overshirt.  The demon hadn't been able to remove his protection amulet so all he needed were shoes.  He found sneakers and that was good enough for now.  He sighed in pleasure.

"Welcome," Sam said with a grin.

"There had better not be pictures," Dean said firmly, glaring at his brother.  "I mean it, Sammy."  He just grinned, walking inside.  Dean looked at Xander, who shrugged.  "Letting us handle it?"

"You guys learn best by hands-on stuff."

"True.  Sword?"  Xander handed over the spare he carried.  "What did Sammy carry?"

"Money.  This demon realm actually takes visa."  He walked Dean inside, seeing the horrified looks.  "Had to take my student back.  Sorry."  He grinned at the bartender.  "Butterbeer?"  Sam and Dean both gave him odd looks.   "They liked the books too."  He took their drinks and headed to a table.  The succubus at the next table leered but Xander shook his head.  "I'm grieving over my pets, wench."  She pouted and went back to her present target.  He sipped and looked at Dean.  "Okay, what's harmful in here?"

Dean looked around, then pointed at something.  "Him?"

Sam nodded, pointing at another one.  "That one's harmful in certain circumstances."

"That's two out of fifteen," Xander agreed.  They kept pointing them out and Xander had to point out the last one.  They nodded, memorizing him when Xander told them what their species could do.  They hadn't thought about the demonic mafia demons being that dangerous to them.  That was another sort of problem in their usual lives.

***

Dean came out the portal, then turned to help Sam and Xander out, taking the two new bags and the other handle of the trunk Sam was pulling.  They all flopped down and looked at each other, shaking their heads.  "We're back," Dean yelled.

"Only been three days," Don called back, coming out of the house to look at them.  "You guys okay?"

"We rescued him but there was no direct link back," Sam told him, standing up.  "Before you ask, we had to come back via Sunnydale.  Giles gave us these."

Don just nodded and Xander got up to give him a hug.  Don stroked his back.  "The babies are back," he said gently.  Xander ran inside to cuddle his babies, cooing over them.  He helped the boys carry the stuff into the office.  "Books?"  They both nodded. "More dead things books?"

"Classification, prophecy, and mystical weapons," Sam told him with a grin.

"Not as bad as dead thing magic then," Don decided, looking them both over.  "Shower's still free, guys."  They ran for the showers upstairs.  Dean took Xander's shower since Sammy beat him but that was fine with them.  He came out to find Xander cuddling all his wiggling little furry bodies to his chest.   He sat behind him to cuddle him, getting Xander resting against his chest.  "We'll move on," he said quietly.

Xander nodded against his shoulder.  "I got him back."

"Mac told us."  Xander looked at him.  "You're not usually that violent, Xander.  It was reasonable with the grief."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.  He wouldn't mention that Ares told him that he had intervened to keep Xander from magicing him.  They knew he wasn't usually like that.  "Why did Giles send books?"

"The last place we were the demons knocked us all out and sent us there.  They told them we were being creepy by giving them higher identification lessons.  They sent us to Buffy.  Who had Willow send us back but Giles sent them the books when she called to warn him to stay home.  We saw Oz while Willow got out of class and came to do the spell.  He said hi."

"I liked Oz the last time I talked to him."  He stroked over his hair, calling Danny.  "They're back.  No direct link.  The boys are in the shower.  Through Sunnydale and Willow sent them home."  He looked at him.  "Swords?"

"In the trunk," he assured him, getting a smile and a nod.  Don gave him a squeeze.  "Are they all okay?"

"They're just fine and so's Hubert."  He stroked over his braid.  "The vet did say if he's having this sort of growth spurt and aggression problems it might be time to send him back home."

"I've been thinking about that.  I'm going to try to get his favorite people back together for a weekend."  That got a nod.  He looked at him.  "Since most of them are in DC, want to go see Greggy and Tony?"

"We can do that in a few weeks, once you've got it arranged."  Xander nodded, not letting his babies go.  One squeaked at him.  "Let's put them back in the play area."  He gently put them back and let Xander cuddle in front of him, looking over as Hubert came out from his nap.  "Hey.  Look who's back."  Hubert crawled into Xander's lap, getting the same sort of love and affection from him.  Don smiled when Dean came out of the shower and headed for the fridge.  "Leftovers are on the usual shelf, Dean."  He nodded, making a plate to go upstairs with him to change clothes.  Sam came down to get his own then ran back upstairs to eat.  "You guys can hang out with us, we don't mind," he reminded Sam's towel-covered backside.  He petted the dragon too, getting warm puffs of air for it.   "Spoiled," he teased.  Xander nodded.  "He'll be fine.  You can find him a dragon stepmommy and it'll be fine."  Xander nodded, going back to his cuddles.  Danny came in and sat beside him, cuddling him too.  "We done for the day?"

"Yup.  We're done and the old precinct is being painted."  He patted the dragon on the head.  "You better?"  He shrugged and snuggled in again. "What're we gonna do, Xander?" he asked quietly.

"Let him see his harem before he goes back?" Xander suggested, looking at him.

Danny grinned.  "We could like that.  Field trip to see Greg and Tony?"  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Sure.  You plan it and let us know."  He looked at Hubert.  "That good with you?"  He nodded, huffing at him too.  He shifted, letting Xander get the comfy petting spot on his chest too.  The daddy knew the best petting spots.

Upstairs, Sam and Dean were making plans about how to handle future kidnaping attempts by other demons.  Their dad hadn't taught them anything about these sort of demons and what they really wanted.  They had missed a lot of them in their training.  They had even met holy demons on their trip.  The cloister of nun demons had been kinda nice and had baked great muffins.  Their dad would've freaked out at them.

Strange Goodbyes.

Notes:  The professor and the PETA member were suggested by the Imaginings list.

Abby, up in DC, opened the letter from Xander, frowning at the formal, stiff card until she flipped it over to read the writing on it.  She pouted all the way up to Greg's desk to show him.  "Are we on-call that weekend?"

He looked at their calendar then shook his head.  "Nope."  He gave her a hug.  "It'll be okay, Abby, I promise.  Xander said his growth spurts have been making him aggressive and too big to cuddle.  He said he thought he'd have years more before he had to send him back but he was wrong."  She nodded, pouting at Gibbs and handing him the card too.  "Have you talked to the others yet?"

"I just got it in the mail," she admitted, going back to the lab to call Garcia.  "It's Abby," she said sullenly.  "No, everyone's okay but you need to check the mail for Xander cards."  Garcia went to do that and came back pouting.  "I know, it sucks.  At least we'll have one last weekend."  She brightened up at the suggestion that maybe Xander could adopt another one to foster.  "Maybe.  I'll ask when he gets up here.  Yeah, I let the others here know.  We have off that weekend.  Thanks, Garcia."  She hung up and went back to pouting, staring at her scaly friend's picture.  She'd miss the baby dragon.

***

Don Epps looked at the note that the mail person left on his desk when he came back from the meeting, frowning at it.  He opened it and shook his head.

"Problem?" Colby asked as he sat down, dropping his notebook and pen.

"Harris is having to send his dragon Hubert back to his own realm because he's getting too aggressive.  He wanted to know if we wanted to go to his sending home party in three weekends in DC."

"Charlie might.  He loved the little breast freak," Megan pointed out dryly.

"Hubert loved his hair too," David agreed, dropping his own note taking supplies on his desk.  "When is it?" Don handed it over so they could decide if they wanted to go too.  Megan faxed it to Charlie's office and handed it back with a grin.  She probably wasn't going to go but Don and Charlie had both liked the little lizard with the cookie habit.

"You know, this means we'll be seeing Gibbs' people and the profilers he liked too," Colby pointed out.  "He had a major love for Garcia's fingers."

Don smirked and nodded.  "Definitely."  He sat down to get into his email and check for an answer.  Charlie had sent back an 'Amita and I are going, Larry is debating' message.  He snickered.  His brother just wanted to get out of town to avoid his father's complaints about not having grandchildren.

***

Don handed Horatio the paperwork for him and Danny.  "We're sending Hubert home from DC that weekend.  That way he can see his harem one last time."

Horatio nodded, looking at his own calendar.  He filled out ones for him and Speed, signing them and handing one over for Ryan as well.  "There, go hand them up the chain, Don."

Don grinned.  "Thanks, Horatio."  He walked off, going down to the Chief's office to hand them to him.  The chief of detectives gave him an odd look.  "Hubert's being sent home."

"The baby dragon?"

"Yeah.  Xander found him on a road trip but he's been getting more and more aggressive and pushy even with him.  He thinks it's time for a real dragon to foster him instead.  This way all his harem can pet him one last time before we send him home."

He shook his head.  "That's just strange.  Asia?  Is your boy going with him?  That would mean I'd have to do leave of absence paperwork for you or Wolfe this week."

"He came from the same place Xander learned those dances," he admitted.  The Chief gave him a long stare.  He grinned.  "They do that now and then.  Look at what else he handles, sir."

"Whatever," he mumbled, signing off on them.  "I see Wolfe, Speedle, and Caine are going too.  Not the others?"

"They can say theirs here.  That's what we planned for Horatio, Speed, and Ryan, but Horatio said we're going to guard them in DC."

"We do hope there isn't going to be another incident?" he asked archly.

Don shrugged.  "How would I know?  I don't see the future.  I do know that Gibbs knows and has him put on a GPS bracelet as soon as he gets within their jurisdiction."  That got a quiet snicker and their copies were handed back.  "Thank you, sir."  He walked off, going to hand out the copies to the right people.  Ryan gave him an odd look but he shrugged.  "Horatio said you could go."

"Sure.  I'm sure it'll be a good weekend in DC."

"You might even get to hit on Abby again," Danny teased.

Ryan smirked.  "She is cute and sweet."  They all smiled and went back to work for the day.  Miami never closed, especially if they were all going out of town for a weekend.

***

McGee's computer beeped a message at him.  "Gibbs, a GPS monitor you have on constant watch just got turned on?"

"Xander," Tony reminded him.

"Oh, yeah.  He's coming up this weekend.  Wonder if they're in the SUV."  He keyed into it.  "They are driving."

"Probably safer," Gibbs pointed out.  "We don't need his hormones on a closed air system like a plane, McGee. There's no telling who would come out affected."  He looked at Greg, who blushed a bit.  He had gotten a military flight while surging the last time.  He was still getting flowers from the co-pilot, who was thankfully female.  "Is Speedle coming up?"

"Yup," Greg said.  "I got the dosing instructions for you too, boss.  They're locked in your gun box."  Gibbs got into it to read them, nodding a bit.  "Just in case we need them."

"Thank you," Tony said quietly.  "Was that plant on the list?"

"New hybrid and one of the plants he crossed is," Greg told him.  "I sent out a note about the hybrid to everyone."

"Good," Tony said with a grin.  "Any other revelations?"

"Wondering if the students are coming too."

"Nope," Abby said as she came up.  "They're guarding the house in Miami this weekend and playing with the ferrets."  She gave Tony a hug.  "Xander called."

"His GPS bracelet came on," Tony told her.

"Good.  That way we know if they have to detour to save someone."  She glared at Greg.

"The last time wasn't me."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed.  "Tony left hormone traces on me and it was me."  Gibbs growled at that reminder. "Does anyone else need to be warned?"

"Fornell has the same GPS keyed since he's the local contact for that problem," Tony told her.  That got a nod and she went back to the lab.  "Where's Kate, boss?"

"Hiding from you this weekend," he reminded him.  "She doesn't want to deal with Xander."

"That's right, she's scared of his hair," McGee said happily.

"She's scared she'll want to grow hers out," Tony said dryly.  "Not that hers will look as good as his does."

"Enough, work," Gibbs ordered, tracking the GPS now.  It was on the right highway to be coming up from Miami.  He found an email from Don giving him an itinerary and timeline of travel.   Someone had some real sense down there.  It also listed who was coming up.  "They're bringing Wolfe."

"Good," Tony said happily.  "If something happens he can save Xander."  Greg snickered and nodded.  "It's part of his job anyway.  That's why he gets the good spoiling."

Don Epps came off the elevator with his brother.  "Morning all."

"Morning," Greg said cheerfully.  "Xander's within a few hours of the city."

"Two," Gibbs said, shaking their hands.  "Came to see the little lizard off too?"

"He even paid airfare," Don said with a grin.  "That way Charlie can go wander around the Smithsonian when we're done."

"Everyone needs a vacation," Tony said dryly, smirking at them.  "The two new students are staying in Miami."  Gibbs printed off the list of who was coming for Don, getting a nod of thanks.  "We all good?"

"Caine, Speedle, Wolfe, Messer, Flack, and Xander," Charlie said happily.

Tony mentally counted the number of GHS in that group.  "That's more than some smaller, regional conventions," he said calmly.

"Some of the city-wide meetings in New York too," Greg said.

"That's the same amount that we have in LA," Don reminded them, making them calm down.  "Even if it is Xander, nothing too horrible will happen.  He left all his cranks in Miami."

"We hope," Tony told him.

"Statistically speaking, it's a slim probability of any of them being taken this weekend since this event wasn't widely announced.  If so it's someone that's been stalking one of them or who got turned onto them by one of the crooks that they keep thwarting."

"We had one of those," McGee said dryly, glaring at Tony.

"Not my fault they wanted me out of the way because I figured out what they were doing, Probie."

"No but the international incident it caused when we had to get you back from them was a lot of evil paperwork."

Don laughed.  "I'm so glad I don't work with any of you guys in my office."  He grinned at Tony and Greg.  "It's enough hearing how Gibbs handles it."

"The guy in Philly with the level three wife who works in the ATF is coming to LA," Greg said happily.

Don moaned.  "ATF?"

"Yeah.  She's good with explosives."

Charlie snickered at the look on his brother's face.  "It'll be fine.  I'm sure someone knows."

Gibbs nodded.  "Yes they do."  He checked the monitor.  They were off the highway and not on the proposed route.  "McGee, find out if there's anything going on that would've made them get off the interstate."

McGee looked.  "Accident but no, boss."  He logged into the traffic cam system on the highway they were on.  "Officers are leading them."  He called the department that was on the cars.  "Hi, this is Agent McGee, NCIS.  We're expecting some consultants up from Miami and went looking for them because they're a bit late.  One of your cruisers led them off the interstate and they're heading toward the lake resort by you guys?  Silver stretch range rover and a blood red corvette.  By the traffic cameras, car 812."  He waited while they called to see what was going on, coming back saying they weren't aware of having that car.  "I'm looking at it on the traffic cams, Captain.  Exactly.  Some officers out of Miami- Dade PD actually.  The range rover belongs to the husband of one of the officers."  He nodded when they said they'd stop them.  "Please.  Need my number?"  He saw Tony calling someone's phone.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "That is not their car so they'll be stopping it."  He changed cameras to get them in that area.  They got to watch the local cops stop the others and arrest the fake cops.  Tony hung up.  "They good?"

"Danny said the supposed cops told them that there was a memo saying they had to be led into town the back way due to someone wanting them.  Any ID's yet?"

McGee zoomed as much as he could.  "I can't get a good resolution."

Don leaned over to look.  "That's one of our local arms dealers in LA."

"So he knew Xander?" Greg suggested.  Charlie gave him an odd look.  "Xander likes weapons."

"He does," Gibbs said grimly.  "I still want an inventory list of what Harris has in storage."

"Horatio takes care of that, boss," Tony quipped.

"I'll get it from him then."  He came over to watch.  Everyone else was all right and Hubert was peeing on one of the fake officers' legs.  "He did grow."

"A lot," Charlie agreed with a smile.  "Poor little guy.  I wonder if Garcia's logged in too."

"Probably," Tony said dryly.  He sent her an email and she sent back an 'I know, I saw, the meanies' back.  "Yup.  She saw.  Called them meanies."

Gibbs made sure everyone got back into the SUV and corvette, then got back on their way.  He looked at Charlie.  "The boy does beat probability every time, Epps.  He does the impossible for breakfast."

"Getting the tangles out of his hair?" Greg quipped.

Don smirked at him.  "That's mean."

"It's not.  When he gets knots, it takes hours.  You should see it when he hasn't braided it before a ride."

"He has a motorcycle?" Charlie asked.

"Horses," Greg and Tony said together.

Greg found the picture Xander had sent him, waving him over to see.  "That's Pride, his horse.  The brown ones are Ryan's two Princesses and the two foals, Duchess and Countess.  The furry looking one is going to be Horatio's nephew Ray's horse, Furry.  They're his herd."

Charlie smiled.  "They look like they're pretty horses."

"He even got those two students up on them," Tony said with an evil smirk for Don.  "Xander said they were very sore but they'd live with the sore butt and he made them go with him a few other times too."

"If they had to, they could use it to get away," Don said, coming over to look.  "That's a big horse."

"It is," Greg agreed.  "He's loving though.  Pride will nuzzle you off your feet if you bring him treats.  Furry too.  The little mares won't let you pet them if they don't know you and you don't bring them treats.  Xander said they're spoiled like real royalty."

Charlie snickered.  "I've met some.  They can be."  He grinned at his brother.  "Maybe you can learn how to ride."

"I did learn how to ride.  One of the guys on the baseball team showed me.  His parents owned a ranch."  He walked back to Gibbs' desk shaking his head.  "Want us to wait at the hotel?"

"If you want.  We're only doing paperwork," Gibbs admitted.  "Abby's pouting in the lab IM-ing Garcia probably."

"Yup," McGee said.  He typed something to her then shut down that messenger.  "I told her they're up here and Xander's on his way in."

"That's fine."  Abby came up to get hugs and ruffle Charlie's hair.  She led them back to her lab to show off.  "She'll be pouting for weeks," he muttered.

Greg cleared his throat.  "So's Xander.  One of the people who wanted him in that special, sword fighting way poisoned his dogs and nearly killed the ferrets too," he said quietly.  Tony glared at him.  "He got the sucker when he showed up to challenge him."

"Both dogs?" Tony demanded.  Greg nodded a bit.  "The ferrets?"

"They weren't as bad and the vet managed to save them.  Sam found the dogs dead on the ottomans after practice while Xander napped on the couch."

"Is he officially gone?"

"Don mentioned chunks," Greg said tactfully.  "Xander apparently lost his temper when he showed up to challenge him and tell him he had done it because Xander had him arrested the first time he broke into the house to poison the humans."

Gibbs just nodded once.  "Sounds reasonable to me.  The kid okay?"

"Sulking.  Badly.  He hasn't even wanted to go to the pet store to get treats for the ferrets or Hubert.  Danny said he had to get ferret chow."

"Poor kid," McGee sighed, shaking his head.  "At least the guy paid."

"Heavily," Tony assured him.  He knew Xander's temper.  The same as Greg did.  He was sure the chunks were small chunks.  Probably tiny chunks.

***

Xander walked into the hotel and up to the check in desk, smiling at the man behind it.  "I have a reservation for a suite and a room.  Harris."

The man looked then frowned.  "I see four rooms and an executive suite, sir, and that you're traveling with pets?"

"I am.  Didn't we put Don's room under his name?" he asked his Don.  Who nodded.  "Four rooms?"

"Me," Ryan reminded him dryly.

"Good point."  He nodded.  "Have the Epps brothers checked in?"

"Yes, sir, I do see that they did get the other room in the lesser rooms."  He checked, it was pre-paid and they had extra on the tab.  "Mini-bars aren't available in the smaller rooms."

"Sometimes you have to have room service," Xander said with a small smile.  "Are we set?"

"Yes, sir.  What sort of animal do you have?"  He held up his now shrunken pet lizard.  The hotel didn't like bigger animals but things in the iguana size were okay with them.  "Ah, I see."  He nodded. "Litter trained?"

"Toilet trained and litter trained," Danny assured him.  That got a smile and a nod, plus a note made.  Their keys were handed over and they were escorted up to their rooms by the bellhop.  Xander waited until they were gone to unshrink Hubert, getting a huff of irritation.  "Not our fault you're so big," he teased, petting him.  Hubert nipped him and went to look out the window.  He sucked on his finger.  "His teeth are sharper too," he told Xander.

"He got my ankle this morning."  He flopped down, letting the others congregate as soon as they got there.  He did text Garcia, as she had demanded.  Then Charlie, as he had asked for.  Then Greg because his former snuggly one should know.  "Don, did you put the cars in valet?"

"No other option," he admitted, sitting down next to Xander to cuddle him.  "Relax, it'll be okay, Xander."  He nodded, leaning against him, letting Danny have his other side.  They snuggled while they waited.  The rest of them would get to see Hubert tonight for dinner in their room before he did the spell to send him home overnight in one of the local parks.  That way no one would wonder when the small portal opened.  Someone knocked and Hubert went to hide in the bedroom while Danny got it, letting in Garcia.  "Hey," Don said, waving a bit.

"Hi, snookums."  She gave them all hugs, spotting her lap buddy peeking out of doorway so she went to pet him.  "Aww, my poor baby," she cooed, settling in to pet him.  He soaked up the attention, giving her good love back.  "Reid will be over later," she assured him.  "He had to do a nasty report for the bigot who's trying to ruin us, precious.  Then he'll be here."  The dragon blew a bit of steam, content for the moment.

Xander looked back.  "I figured on sending him home late tonight."

"Tomorrow night?" she asked hopefully.

"Tonight's easier to do it," he admitted.  She sighed but cuddled him better.  "It'll be okay."

"Are you going to adopt another one?" she asked.

"We're not sure we're ready for another one after having the dogs and ferrets poisoned," Danny said quietly.  She glared at him.  "Someone who hated Xander for having him arrested when he broke into the first house in Miami.  The ferrets are fine but the dogs are in a nice dog cemetery."  She nodded, getting up to hug Xander and Don since they were their dogs, giving Danny one on her way back to Hubert.  He heard someone coming and went to check the door.  Garcia moved out of view.  "Problem?" he asked the bellhop.

"No, sir.  I have menus for room service and our forms for breakfast," he said, handing them over.  "I also have a message from the desk."  He handed sealed paper over.  "Are you expecting a lot of business acquaintances?"

"It's a going away party for my pet," Xander told him. "The ones who love him."  That got a nod.  "Most of them are federal agents."

"That's fine, sir.  Thank you for that warning."  He left, going to tell the curious manager.  No one knew who that strange looking guy was but he was apparently decent enough if he was letting the pet's favorite people pet him one last time before he was put down.

***

Charlie walked into the suite, looking at the cuddly dragon on Abby's lap.  "Awww."  He took a picture and Hubert came over to cuddle him too.  "Are you excited about going home?"  He settled in to pet him with Abby, smiling when the dragon reached up a paw to play with his hair.  "I know, it's fascinating.  Many girls find it fascinating too."  Hubert huffed at that comparison, nosing Abby's shoulder before batting at her pigtails.

"Maybe he's trying to set you up," Reid teased from his seat.  He was using his ice pack again because Hubert had seen him and pounced him, knocking him down and nearly out to get cuddles from him.

"Could be," Charlie said with a smile for Abby.  "She is very smart and pretty."

"She has good hair," his brother teased, grinning at Abby.  "You'll have to watch out for our father.  He nags a bit now and then."

"So do mine.  They nag me all the time by IM about eating, not getting too much sun, when are they going to get grandchildren.  All sorts of nagging by IM."

"You don't call your parents?" Don asked.

"They're deaf," she said.

"Oh, I didn't know.  I guess IM-ing makes more sense then."

She nodded.  "A lot more sense.  It means I don't have to worry about forks while I sign during the nagging over dinner.  Or sending food shooting across the room while I sign with the fork in my hand."

Charlie smiled.  "I learned some to work with a professor.  I always had to put mine down.  I ended up drinking all those protein shakes so I wouldn't have to worry about poking someone accidentally.  He laughed."

"It took me nearly six years to sign without sending food shooting at my dad or the stove.  It made Mom huff but my dad laughed all the time.  Even the time I gave him a purple eye with a beet to the face."  Don snickered at that.  "They're pretty cool but they're still complaining about the Katrina related damage not being fixed fast enough."

"It takes a long time to build any city," Don Flack reminded her gently.  She nodded.  "Beyond the fact that FEMA does kinda move really slowly.  Even when they're rebuilding part of Miami they move slowly and annoy a lot of us."  Horatio nodded at that.  His house had been nearly destroyed a few hurricanes ago and he had to deal with all manner of people over the details to fix it.  Speed curled up tighter against him.  "Next time you two come to live at our house with us."

Speed smiled.  "Our ferrets would love Ferretopia too."  Horatio pinched him on the knee.  "They would."

"Probably," Horatio agreed.  "We hope it won't happen again.  If so we'll gladly come take up our room at the house, Don."

"Does that mean I can get those recipes off Speed finally?" Xander asked.  Hubert yawned.  "Going to nap on Abby, Hubert?"  He shook his head and wandered over to Reid to snuggle him in apology for knocking him down.

"He definitely likes his smart people," Ryan teased.

"Yes he does," Danny agreed.  Xander opened his mouth but he gave him a look and he didn't ask why Hubert liked him since he wasn't that smart.  Don Epps grinned at him for that.  "How's LA been?"

"Quiet.  No giant robots.  No orgy in a mall fountain in six weeks."  Abby snickered at that.  "Not GHS members.  High school kids.  One decided to play and tease her boyfriend with the wet t-shirt she was wearing without a bra.  He lacked self control and pounced her in the fountain.  Guards came running but by then more teenagers had joined in and it was a full-blown orgy.  Ten different couples and a trio.  Vice got called and decided it was a GHS thing so they called me.  So I had them turn the water into ice water and made them all shriek when I added purple dye packs as well."  He smirked meanly at the laughing cops.  "They were not amused.  The news crew that was covering it was amused.  Their parents weren't very amused but a few told them they deserved the humiliation of being purple for a few weeks for that stunt.  The girl who started it was sent off to school somewhere far away from her boyfriend.  They got community service for it."  That got a few giggles from Reid.  "Exactly.  Then I got to ask the Vice guys why they called me when they clearly weren't on our caseload.  After I finished yelling at them, I explained how you spotted one of them.  He was a new guy and had only heard rumors.  He thought all sex was bad and evil so therefore it must've been the evil GHS members doing something like that in public."  Horatio snickered at that.  "His boss helped me set him straight and he's much happier now in Pet Robbery."

Speed burst out cackling.  "That's so mean, Don."

He nodded.  "I know.  Better for him anyway.  Not like he wouldn't blush at the first prostitute he had to talk to."  He shifted in his seat.  "What're we doing for dinner?"

"Ordering," Tony and Xander said together.  Xander stuck his tongue out at him.

"Xander does cook very well but there's no kitchen here," Ryan offered.  He looked at the napping dragon.  "Hold his rear leg up more, Reid.  It's had the knee pain most often."  He shifted the dragon with a moan for the weight but Hubert kept napping.  "Has anyone come up to bother him recently, Xander?"

"One professor keeps trying to sneak onto the grounds to get a better look at him.  The guards stop him and his TA a lot."  Horatio gave him a long look.  "Six times.  He's a biologist or whatever up at U of Miami.  Came in demanding that I show him what Hubert really was since dragons were mythical.  Hubert came out to stare at him that time, snorted then walked off waving his tail.  The community guards got him for me."

"Any others?" Don asked.

"One rabid PETA person who said I was mean to make him eat meat when we were shopping one day.  I let Sam dazzle her and correct her assumptions about animals not eating others in the wild.  Kept me from having to outdo the snark twins," he said with a nod for Speed and Ryan where they were sitting.  Don snickered at that.  "She walked off huffing in irritation.  Said she'd get us all for that.  I told her to grow up."

"So did I when they showed up at the station," Danny admitted.  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "She came to complain that we're breeding unnatural beings, because she couldn't find him in any classification manual, and we were tainting what they were.  I told her to go watch National Geographic.  They did too eat meat.  That's the day we did the taste test.  He passed over her rice and whatever pet food for ham.  The only grain he wanted was pizza."  Greg snickered at that.  "So we made her huff off with that show and tell.  I think Frank got onto the others when they tried to show up to protest.  I think growing up was part of his complaint too."

"Why did no one tell me about these incidents?" Horatio asked.

"You didn't need the stress unless they started a campaign," Don Flack said with a grin for him.  "You have enough already, Horatio."

"Thank you, boys."  He smirked at Xander.  "What are you going to do about the professor?"

"Possibly send him there for a day if he gets too pushy.  Just to make him go away.  Last time I saw him he was in the nut tree with a camera."

"Was he there during the dog incident?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Nope," Xander assured him.  "Started just after that.  A few days later.  Sam likes to go out and run him off too.  Dean just shakes his head and mutters about college smarts not being very good brains."

"Dean's got practical knowledge and intelligence.  It's a different form," Reid defended.

"Then again, speaking as a professor, some of us have *no* sense," Charlie argued with a smile.  "The biologists I work with would have tried kidnaping to get him because announcing a discovery like that would make their names.  Even if it would've meant going to jail."

"The TAs tried that," Xander admitted.  "Dean broke his first one's arm so he brought out the smarter one.  Then they told me since I was cooking."

"They do guard you very well," Don admitted.  "Any idea what they're doing?"

"Ray Junior came over to play video games.  Sam got taken for about three hours but it's better now and the one who had him is *very* sorry and begging Dean not to finish cutting him to pieces.  Sam used all the hot water in the house then went back to video games with Ray.  Adam promised he'd pop over to check on them tomorrow for us."

"That's safe enough," Speed decided.  "How's their training going?"

"Good," Xander said with a happy smile.  "They added onto what they already had and Dean's very good at some of the more militant dances already.  Sam's good at the lighter, more emotionally tinted ones.  Dean's done what Don has, meshed it with his normal style.  Sam's more into learning styles for their own values than Dean is.  They'll do fine and last a very long time."  Reid looked over.  "They do what I used to do."

Reid just nodded.  "Hotch tried to do a background check on you when Hubert showed up that time."  He went back to petting the cuddly one.

Speed stared at him.  "How far did he get?"

"All the way back to the classified project they helped take down right before he left.  He ran into that, heard hints that Xander did things like that all the time  before then, then went to take something for his headache."

Garcia snickered.  "Which turned out to be a bottle of whiskey but I guess sometimes you got to do it."

Danny nodded.  "That's how we felt too."

"Tequila," Don corrected.  "It went better with Sunnydale."

"Aww," Abby said, pinching his cheek.  "It can't be that bad."  Don nodded it was.  "I'm sure it'll be okay."

Xander snickered.  "Not really.  But then again, I retired."  His whole family nodded at that.

"Oh, I got an email from someone saying they'd love a real visit instead of housing you when you got knocked out and sent back?" Garcia asked him, looking clueless.

Xander snorted.  "No, if I end up out in Sunnydale for a *visit* there's going to be some dead people," he said honestly.  "You can tell my former best friend I said that."

"Sure," she said weakly.  "What happened?"

"Long, bad story," Don assured her.  "This is meant to be a bit happier than that."  They nodded and decided what they were ordering for dinner and went back to spoiling their baby dragon with attention before he had to go home.

***

Xander put his baby dragon in front of the mommy dragon he had found, looking up at her.  "I don't know if you can understand me or not, but I found Hubert in his egg in a marketplace.  I raised him very well.  He's a bit spoiled but I made sure he can track and hunt.  It's just that he's getting too big for the human town I live in and he's too aggressive for the others around us.  We all spoiled him greatly before bringing him here."  He petted Hubert, putting a bag down beside him.  "That's his favorite blanket to sleep on and some things his harem scented for him if you don't mind, ma'am?"  She leaned down to sniff him then the baby dragon.  It bleeted at her, nuzzling some.  She huffed but nosed him closer to her cub.  "Thank you.  Take care of Hubert for me please?  He's a good boy dragon and we love him."  He left, closing the portal behind himself.  The others had left already so he looked at his Don.  "Hi."

"It's all right," he promised, pulling him closer for a hug.  "He'll be loved and spoiled over there too."  Xander shook his head.  "I promise, he will be. Even if it's not a warm leather seat in the window, he'll still love it."  He walked Xander back to the car.  They'd get Xander through the traumas and they'd deal with the pet issue when they got home.  Then they could move on.  The others had left them the SUV, which was nice of them, though Don Epps had gone over all the features to see if he could talk his boss into buying their office one.   He'd be going over Tony and Greg's more workable model the next day for better begging power.  Don got him into the front seat and walked around to drive, heading back to the hotel.  The others were back there sulking to ice cream but that was to be expected.  Hubert was a very loved little beast.  Very spoiled and very loved.  They walked in and blinked at the flash going off.  "Huh," Don said, looking around the trees.

Xander looked around then tried something.  "I'm blocked," he announced.  Horatio and Speed both groaned but Ryan pulled out the bag he had brought with him, handing Xander his sword and then pulling out his own.  "Thanks, Ry."

"Welcome.  Figured it would happen sometime."  They looked around the area.  "Reid's missing," he figured out.

Garcia looked up, then around.  "Well, that might be helpful.  How do we end this nice version of the woods?"

Xander shrugged.  "Don't know yet.  We'll figure that out."  He found his cellphone and he had a signal.  "Huh.  Garcia, call Reid, tell him to add a few extra days onto the motel room please?  Have him tell the people that we're taking a day trip but we're coming back?"  She nodded, doing that for him.  He looked at Horatio, who took the phone next to call the rest of the family in Miami.  "Ask Sam if he knows," Xander called over to him.  That got a nod and Horatio mentioned that as well.

Don stiffened.  "Um, Xander, cackling?"

"Can't hear it," he admitted, frowning as he looked around.  Two demons came out of the woods and he and Ryan attacked, letting Don and Danny guard the others while they fought.  Ryan tossed back the bag to Don, who found his and Danny's sword inside.

"Um, not to be curious at a bad time, but what's with the swords?" Abby asked.

Danny grinned.  "Xander fights with one, we all practice as a family to keep in shape.  He's less bored.  He's even teaching others."

"Oh.  Okay."  She just nodded, looking at her buddies.  Who all shrugged.  But Greg looked like he had a clue.  "Greg, did you learn too?"

"Including that GHS dancing version," he agreed.  "Got a spare?"  Danny looked then tossed over a lighter one.  "Thanks.  Still not great and I'm out of practice."

Tony stared at him.  "I can do the dances, but you learned the sword work that went with them?"

"Yeah, I even went on one of those road trips with Ryan and Xander," he said dryly.  Tony shuddered, he'd heard about those.  "Exactly."  One of the demons knocked Xander down, making him hiss. "Ow."  Xander flipped up and went after him again, this time it was clear he was not a happy person.  The demon had tried to cut his hair on him.  "Oooooh," he said with a wince.  "The poor demon tried to get his hair.  Pity the poor thing's end."

Don shuddered.  "Me too.  I saw the last one."  Both demons fell and those two came back for the family to check them over.  "Hair okay?" he asked Xander.

"Yup, I'm fine."  He took a kiss, then one from Danny.  "I'll be okay.  Ryan?"

"A few scratches.  They're doing the normal thing," he offered quietly, looking around.  "Any ideas?"

"I haven't even had one that came to court me.  Sam's had some that came to court him," Xander offered, "but I haven't had any recently."

Don Epps looked over.  "Somehow I find that hard to believe.  Boys?"

"Ran off two recently," Danny admitted.  "Adam helped."  He frowned at Xander.  "He said one came to the house."

"Must've been who Dean ran off," he said with a small shrug.  He heard the cackling this time and growled, spinning around.  "Guys, gentle people in the center.  Now."  They did that and the ones with swords watched around them.  Xander kept trying to get his magic unblocked.  "Abby, undo my hair for me please?  I think the thing blocking me is in it."  She undid it and he felt the magic come for him.  "Ah, better."  A centaur came out of the woods and Xander frowned at him.  "I didn't know we were in Ancient Greece."

"You're not, puny one," he sneered.  "Concubines with swords?"

Xander lit his tail on fire.  "Yes, I do," he said dryly, staring him down.  He took off his shirt and let his pants slide down some.  The centaur saw and backed off, looking scared.  "Where are we and why?" he asked in Greek.

"You are in Panathena.   You trespass."

"Someone brought us here," Ryan assured him.  "We had no intention of being here.  We'd like to go back to our hotel room really.  Got any ideas how we do that?"

The centaur shrugged.  "I'll ask the one who guards us.  Stay here."

Xander nodded.  "We can do that.  Will it take long?"

"I hope not.  Your kind are disturbing to us," he said with a new sneer before trotting off.

Xander looked back at them.  "Okay, let's set up camp, people.  He's going to see his people about getting us home. They don't like us.  They don't want us here.  So let's do the comfort things.  Ryan, did you bring the emergency kit too?"

"Yeah.  Enough for the family.  We can take turns."  He got into the bag, pulling out the traveling backpacks so he and Don Epps could put up the tents.  Xander started the fire for the girls who were shivering.  Danny and Don got some more wood.  Ryan had even packed some bottles of water.  Abby gave him an odd look.  "It's what I take when I have to rescue Xander."

"Oh.  Okay."  She took the bag to look at.  "What else is in here and where's the bottom?"

"Doesn't have one," Greg said, sitting next to her.  "They're nice.  You can fit anything you can shove into them in there.  Including Xander a few times on the roadtrip we went on.  It was safer."

"That's how I got the pets back from the convention," Xander agreed happily.   He heard hooves and looked around.  "We're not going to harm you unless you attack," he called, making Don and Danny rush back with their wood.

The female centaur came out of the woods to stare at him.  "That's good to know.  Why are you here...."  She spotted his marks.  "Priest of Strife?"

"And Cupid; follower of Ares as well," Xander assured her.  "We got snatched from our hotel room.  I told the male who was here.  He said he'd go ask to see how we got home."

"Good of him."  She moved closer, staring at the marks.  "Those are...."  He let her touch one and her fingers tingled.  "Blessed."

He grinned.  "I'm one of Cupid's Burdens," he said quietly.  "And a follower of Ares."

"Oh!  That makes more sense to my kind."  Ryan showed her his mark as well.  "And a chosen warrior as well.  Interesting who they called."  She stepped back.  "As far as I know, we in the village had nothing to do with this.  There have been a few things out here that have been troublesome so we've set up a patrol."

Ryan pointed at the demon's bodies.  "Them?"

She looked then nodded. "Them and their kind.  Just the two?"

"They came out to attack us," Xander told her, sitting down to look up at her.  "We mean the village no harm."

"Good to know," she decided.  "Stay here.  It should be safe enough with you here."  He nodded.  "Unless you wanted to go to Artemis' temple?  It's about a half day away."

"If so, I'll go first," Xander promised.  She nodded and walked off.  "Thank you for the information, m'lady."

She smirked back at him.  "You have enough on your mind.  The scents are very telling."  She kept going, going to see her village's elder.  She ran into the other one arguing with him.  "Did you see their blessed marks as well?" she asked.  They stopped fighting and she smirked at them.   "One wears blessed marks to Ares, Cupid, Strife, and a few minor ones to Hecate, Artemis, Hera, and Aphrodite.  The other wears the mark of a Chosen of Ares."

The village elder hung his head, shaking it.  "An anchor then."

"One of Cupid's Burdens according to him," she agreed.  "How were they stolen?"

"The ones who want to wipe us out want them as their toys," the male centaur sneered.

"I doubt that would work.  The scents on him are very telling.  His two owners are with him."

The village elder sighed.  "I have no idea how to get them home."

"I suggested they visit the temple of Artemis.  She might know or know who to ask.  Since he is blessed she might answer him."

"Good thinking," the elder agreed.  "Can they hold their own safety?"

She considered it.  "Probably for a while.  They do have those who do not fight apparently."

"Then we'll watch out that way.  A Chosen of Ares would not hurt us.  Ares favored us, that's why he let us gather and live here in peace when we decided not to fight in the last great war."

Ryan walked into the village, handing over a scroll.  "From Lord Strife.  As he commanded.  He's very confused and going to Ares himself."

"Thank you, Chosen."

He bowed.  "I honor those who live in peace, as you do."  That got a smile and a nod and Ryan jogged off, heading back to the camp.  Xander throwing a princess fit in the woods had brought a very confused Strife.  He was still looking very confused and now so was Athena.  Xander was trying to figure out how to get them home with his magic being a bit weak after the portal earlier.  Ryan gave him a hug to make him quit pacing.  "If we have to, we'll fight the demons since they probably want at least one of us as toys.  Remember, they want you for a few different reasons."

Xander nodded, staring at the bodies.  "I don't remember ever seeing them in Sunnydale."

"Me either," Athena admitted.  "They're not sexual beings either."

"Could they be grunts?" Ryan suggested.

She groaned, checking around, then nodded.  "Yes.  One of the Ancient ones is here."

"And they're trapped in Sunnydale," Xander pointed out dryly.  She nodded at that.  He looked at her then Strife.  "I don't want to do anything too harsh."

"Good!" he agreed, nodding.  "Let me talk to Unc.  He created this place."  He and Athena both disappeared to complain to Hecate and then Ares.  She had taken over some of Bacchus' jobs when he had died.  Ares was going to be getting drunk later on.  Because this was a very bad sign.

Xander sat down, looking at them.  "It's possible that pulling up too big of something magic can destroy this realm.  Which I don't want to do.  Ancient demons are very powerful though.  The last ones I dealt with I was grieving and I pulled up the hellmouth, letting it channel through me to fry them for killing Vesvold."  Greg gasped, staring at him.  Xander nodded.  "He was pushing for something good and they didn't want it.  The DPP can't hold the Ancient bloodlines accountable."

"Damn," Greg muttered. "You okay?"

"He had the mother of burnout for a while," Danny said, stroking Xander's back.  "We dealt with it.  Wolfe, I'm gonna ask a stupid question.  Did you bring food too?"

Ryan took the bag back to dig inside, getting in up to his armpits.  He came out with a case and a pot, then dug into his backpack for a small set of baggies.  "I brought ramen noodles.   I even remembered the pot this time.  I didn't the first time," he said with a grin for his buddy.

Don kissed him on the forehead.  "Love you for being a bit paranoid, Wolfe.  I'll let you have Xander sometime next week."

"Sure, we can play next week," Ryan agreed.

Garcia raised a hand.  "Isn't Xander dating those two?"

Xander looked at her.  "I'm GHS, Garcia."  She nodded slowly.  "I'm a level ten GHS."  She shuddered and nodded quicker, understanding now.  "Ryan's my backup and big protector when we get stolen together.  That's how he learned how to sword fight."

"Okay then."  She just smiled.  "Hotch is never going to believe this."

"The family in Miami is going to complain for weeks," Danny assured her.

"You hope," Abby said.  "I think someone expected something to happen."

"Not me.  This went against all probabilities that I looked at," Charlie Epps admitted with a small grin.  "Xander, why are you wearing Greek marks on your body?  Or you, Ryan."

"One of the times we were taken, Horatio, Xander, and I were taken together," Ryan told him.  That got a slow nod.  "We went somewhere about like this.  I trained in the temple of Ares.  That's why I wear his mark.  Xander serves a few different gods so he wears those he serves and powers.  Horatio got to learn some new things and counseled a lot of couples who wanted to be married.  We were there for two years their time and two hours ours."

"Interesting," Charlie said, considering it.  "Do we have books on this phenomenon?"

His brother gave him an odd look.  "Is this really the time for math, Charlie?" he asked dryly.

"Yes!  It might help us figure out how to get home!"

Xander nodded. "I have the books at home in Miami, Charlie.  When we get back there, I'll send them to you."

He smiled.  "Thanks.  How did you do the portal earlier?"

Xander shifted over to go over it in detail with him and Abby since she wanted to learn.  Charlie was already using a stick to figure things out for himself.  Maybe it could help them this time.  Charlie seemed to be able to do some amazing things with math.  Maybe he could fight the ancient demon and get them home without unraveling the realm around them.

Don Epps looked at Horatio, who could only smile.  "Does this happen often?"

"Only the once to me so far.  Xander and Ryan have been taken about four times, Mr. Wolfe?"

"Four plus the planned road trips," he agreed, going back to his cooking of the ramen noodles.   He found chopsticks and they all dug into the large pot of food.  They had to eat something.

***

Reid looked at the panicking agent who met him at the hotel.  "I don't know.  They disappeared out of the room.  I was in the room and blinked and they were gone."

"Are you drugged?" he asked quietly.  He could call in reinforcements but Reid had told him to come alone this time.  They didn't want to cause a panic about five federal agents and some cops going missing.  He had agreed with the cover story for the hotel as well.  He met Gibbs up there.  "You called him too?"

"It's his agent."

"Someone in Miami called and told me," Gibbs said dryly.  "They knew that DiNozzo and Sanders would be involved.  Both Epps too apparently."

Reid shrugged.  "I swear, I was sitting by the ham and I blinked and they all vanished by the time I was back to normal vision."

"Bright light?  Anything like that?" Gibbs asked.  "I've seen that before."

Reid considered it then nodded. "Could've had some light."

Gibbs just nodded.  "Phone?"  It was handed over and Gibbs called Xander's cellphone.  "Where are you?"  He put it on speaker.  "Repeat that please?"

"We're fine," Horatio told him.  "Surrounded by trees.  There's some centaurs in a nearby village.  That's all we're certain of but we think we know why we were taken.  Xander and Charlie are figuring out how to get us home at the moment.  Ryan had the forethought to bring the rescue kit with him so we have tents and things.  Plus ramen noodles.  So we'll be fine but it might take us a day, Gibbs.  Hold our things for us."

"Sure, Horatio.  Only a day?"

"I do hope it won't take longer," he said dryly, more than loud enough for the wonder hair twins, as Speed had dubbed the boys babbling at each other, to hear.

"Yeah, if I can take out the major demon then we should be able to use his stuff to at least get us to a demon realm I can get us home from," Xander's voice floated over but it was faint.

"Demons?" Hotch asked.  One appeared, frowning at him then sniffing.  "What are you?"

"Demon," Gibbs said, looking at him.  "Got a hint for Xander and my guys?"

He scowled.  "I can't go against an Elder and Ancient one even though he did take ones I consider mine.  I will see if we can rescue them at the very least."

"Thank you.  We have to work on Monday," Gibbs reminded him.  "So does the Miami crew."

That got a nod.  "I know."  He disappeared.

Gibbs looked at the stunned agents.  "He likes DiNozzo and Sanders together."  He heard Speed laughing.  "So you guys are okay so far?"

"We're fine for the moment, Gibbs.  We'll let you know if we won't be."  He hung up and Gibbs handed back the phone once he had done the same.

"Okay, so we do what?" Hotch asked.  "This is far outside anything I've ever dealt with."

"They'll be back," Gibbs assured him.  "Might take them a few days.  The longest they've ever been gone was four months but Xander had been taken by himself.  The longest with Wolfe was two weeks.  So let's keep things here and steady then we'll see."  They nodded and went to make reports while Gibbs got to hold down the fort in the hotel room.  He had been here earlier then left for dinner.  The hotel's people would be letting him stay for a while so he could make sure they got back all right.  It would give those people who wanted a convention to come to DC a good bit of rumors about how wild some things were around the GHS people.  So maybe he wouldn't have to deal with that threat in his city.

Ambassadors from all over the world.

GHS members from all over the United States.

Paranoid people who wanted GHS members to be normal people.

Probably not a good combination for national security.  Or his sanity.

***

Tony nudged Ryan awake when he heard someone tromping through the woods.  "Hey.  Visitors."

Ryan sat up and looked around then nodded.  "Lots of visitors."  He got up and got Xander up, letting Tony get the others.  "Stay in the tents," he warned the rest of them.  They nodded and hid.  Ryan and Xander were the only ones in the open when the marching people came into view.  Ryan sighed, looking over at Xander.  "Did you break a mirror?"

"Not in a very long time," he admitted, staring at the demon troop and the leader on the back of an obviously charmed centaur.  "Morning," he called in a common demon language.  "Bored and out for a hike with your minions?"

The demon sneered at him.  "You are to be my master's.  She has said so."

"Pity I'm gay," he said blandly.   "Anything else of important notice?  If not, I was having good dreams with my lovers."

"Gather them all.  The Great One will sort out who they truly belong to," he ordered with a wave of his hand.

Xander looked at him then at the troop, waving his own.  They went up in flames.  The centaur was uncursed and she reared, sending him flying.  "You good?" he asked her.  "Need medical attention?"

She shook, backing away from them.  "Why are you here?"

Xander shrugged.  "We were in a hotel room.  No clue how we got here."

She frowned.  "Then why are you here?"

"We don't want to upset your people," Xander said honestly.  "The town's that way?"  Ryan pointed slightly off the path he had pointed at.  "Sorry, he went to be a messenger.  Yo, town's guardians, we found one of you and freed her!" he shouted.  The male centaur from earlier ran up and stared at her.  "I uncharmed her.  You might want to check for other spells or potions but she could probably use a hug from her own kind."

He looked at the dying flames then at him.  "You are strong."

"No, I know a few handy things that helped me fight demons in the past," he admitted with a small grin.  "It comes in handy when you're kidnaped."

The male centaur just nodded and walked the female off, hand near his crossbow.  "We do not know why they are here.  They simply appeared and settled in to wait it out.  Apparently this happens many times to them."

She looked at him.  "The higher one wants them because the one with the hair fights their kind.  It would be a coup to get and keep him."

He nodded.  "I'll keep that in mind and let them know."

"We heard," Ryan called.  "They can die too.  We're good at that."

"Thank you," he called back, leading her off again.  The town's elder would want to see her and so would the healers.  He nodded at the healer standing in front of the gate.  "The one with the hair freed her."

Ares appeared.  "Xander's good at that," he admitted, waving a hand.  "The rest of the curse."  He looked at them.  "I need to see how I constructed this place to make sure it won't unravel."

"The keystone is in the same place," the healer informed him.  "We only guard it, Lord Ares."

"Thank you."  He went to check on it, nodding at what he saw.  Then he went to check on his boys.  "Boys, weapons.  Nothing higher than a fire spell, Xander."  That got a nod.  "The demon should have a way home because I did not let him here."

Xander shrugged.  "Okay.  Should we go there and end him or should we wait?"

"Go there, end him, be careful not to get captured.  He wants revenge for what you did in retaliation for Vesvold."  Xander nodded at that, looking a bit grim.  "Your reputation proceeds you.  Just not the nicer one."

"I did what I had to do, Ares.  If they weren't being a blight, I could've cared less."

"They're probably all very anti-hunter," Ryan told him.

"Sam and Dean?" he asked.

"They're fine.  They fed the ferrets.  Sam's pulled out some of the more ancient books Giles gave him."  He frowned at his protege then at his anchor.  "Good job leaving him alone."

"Oooh, I wanted to," Xander assured him.  "I so wanted to."  That got a nod.  "That's why Willow warned him to stay away."

"Which was a good idea," he agreed.  "The time will come for him and Connor."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  When it does, I'll be there."

"Good."  He leaned down, getting into his face.  "He has no idea what you are, even though you announced it.  He considers the village pets for his amusement," he said quietly.

Xander smirked.  "So some of the other stuff....."

"Might be a plan.  Scout to make sure first.  I'm not sure what he'd do to you but his kind do believe in beheading."  Xander nodded.  "Good."  He straightened up again.  "Good preparation, Wolfe.  Remember to restock it and repack it when you get home."  He disappeared.

Xander nudged Ryan with his shoulder.  "Bring chocolate next time?"

"I can do that," he agreed with a small smile.  "Scouting later?"

"Scouting later," he agreed.  They settled in to nap.  "Crisis over," Xander announced.  "Sleep, people.  We have to scout later on."  He curled up again, going back to his dirty, nasty dreams about Danny begging for mercy while being covered in chocolate pudding and tied to some heavy anchors on the side of the pudding pool.  Being kidnaped gave him some very strange dreams.

***

Ray Junior paused the video game he and Sam were playing when the sparkling started in front of them.  "Lady Aphrodite.  Are you all right?  You're twitching."

"The anchor's off-realm," she sighed, staring at him.

He smiled.  "Want me to check on Uncle H for you?"

"He's there too."

"Ah.  What can we do to help?" Ray asked.

Sam slowly raised a hand.  "They've been taken?"  She nodded.   "Can I and my brother help?  We're hunters too."

She patted him on the head.  "You're adorable."  He smiled at that.   "They have Xander, Ryan, and some other agents.  They should be fine as long as they can get past the ancient one.   I came down to get into a book Xander found recently in some demonic marketplace or something.  He prayed to Cupid about it being cute."

Ray frowned.  "The blue one with the porn or the red one with the porn that also has a plot?  Or the scroll he found that was basically some guy's fantasy for making you beg him for more?"

She gave him a look.  "Exsqueeze me?"

He got up and led her into the study, handing over the scroll.   "He found that at the same time he found these," he offered, putting those books onto a table.

Sam leaned in.  "Those came from Giles.  The demonic market's books are in the blue fronted case, Ray."  He opened it and pulled those out for her.  "Want something to drink, Lady Aphrodite?"

She smiled.  "You're cute and you have manners.  You'll go far in my son's service.  I'm fine, boys."  She took them all with her, going home to read them.  She was bored at the moment.  When she got finished with the scroll, she called Discord, handing it to her.  "Whoever that guy is, he wanted you and Athena to have a visually pleasing orgy in front of him while he made me beg.  Want help finding him?"

"This is better than the ancient demon who wants Xander because he killed a few of them?"

"He has you bottoming and begging Athena to use her bow's tip to do  you since her tongue only made you scream and beg like a bacchi for their Lord's touch.  Xander found it in some market or another.  At the end you're so tired you call Strife to help you munch her carpet for her since she's so demanding and dominant."

"You gotta love it when they beg you to destroy them," she decided, taking it with her to the war meeting to read.  At the very least it'd be good stress relief to cackle.  Ares scowled at her.  "Someone begging for their destruction."  She snickered through most of it.  Then she burst out cackling when she got to where she interrupted Strife, Ares, and Hades.  "I didn't know you were letting Hades bugger you once a week for the next two centuries for bringing Strife back."

He snatched it to read, then glared at her.  "Where was this found?" he asked calmly.

"Xander found it in some marketplace.  He got it outta there before anyone else could find it and tell 'Dite first," Strife said with a smirk.  "He warned Cupie he found disgusting Olympian porn according to him.  Especially if 'Thena found out first."  Athena popped in so Strife snatched the scroll and handed it over.  "The anchor found that and bought it before anyone else could get to it.  That way no one would think it was real history."

"Some mortals do beg for their own destruction," she decided finally.  She handed it to Discord.  "Let me know where so I can add onto yours.  You are definitely not my type."  She looked at Ares again.  "How are we solving this one?"

"The boys are going to scout then figure that out," Ares told her.  "We know why they want them - Xander's past demon hunting experience.  Now we have to figure out how to beat them."

Strife looked up.  "Xander and Horatio are talking weapons.  They're gonna blow the hell outta the people for daring to take Tony.  Epps, the agent one, not the one with the hair, is demanding Greg hand over his gun since he's not really a great shot and Epps was on fugitive recovery for a while.  I didn't know Greg packs blessed silver all the time."

Ares nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.  "He doesn't want to take a chance if he runs into a demon.  He has a priest bless Tony's gun at the same time."

Strife winced.  "Xan can't levitate away from him but they can catapult the sucker. Well, there went the roof.   DiNozzo's fine.  Epps and Wolfe were getting him out at the same time."  He watched it happen.  "Two choices, Unc.  Portal to Sunnydale that could lead them past the rest of  those in the Deeper Well or the distance method?"

"Distance," he ordered, sending that to Ryan and Xander.

***

Garcia was the last to come out of the mirror in the hotel's lobby, shrugging at the incredulous looks they were getting.  "Don't ask me, I do computers."  She straightened out her hair and followed the others to the elevator then back to Xander's suite.  She got to flop down last, cuddling Reid since he had clearly woken up when they came in.  The others had flopped down and Xander was being lap bait, playing with the new egg they had been given.  Well, Greg and Charlie Epps had been given since the people there decided they looked like their gods.

Don Epps looked around the room.  "You know, kid, you don't do too bad as a field commander."

"Hormones," he said slowly and clearly then grinned at him.  "Danger can keep it down but I wouldn't be in danger every day.  Without the bad things sucking at me they still overrun me.  Otherwise I'd have a real job and I'd be poor, normal, and still hunting demons probably."  He stroked Don's chest since he was on his lap.  "Then I wouldn't have my snuggly ones or my ferrets or the psycho stalker who decided I was too pure for him."

"That one I'd like to talk with even though he's dead," Danny noted patiently, giving Xander a look.

"Wasn't my fault," he defended.  "He liked Charlie first!"

"Kids," Ryan complained.  "Let's rest and recuperate.  I'm sure the other Feds would like to know what happened and that'll take the rest of the day."

"By the way, it's late Saturday," Reid told them.  Everyone nodded.  "Hotch and Fornell want a call, Greg or Tony.  Gibbs will be back in a few hours to take his shift of watching for you guys to come back."  They pulled out their phones to text the boss an 'it wasn't my fault, it was Xander's' and then texted that same message to Fornell.

Xander leaned over to kiss Tony on the temple.  "It wasn't all my fault.  Only the initial one was.  You're the one who got captured and then married to the guy who owned the Kingdom of Mines, and therefore inherited it when we killed the pussbag."

"I'm glad I finally realized what he was saying.  I thought he was talking about mimes," Don Epps taunted.

"No, I think we have plenty of those in the world already," Tony assured him, giving him a dirty look.  Don just smirked back.  "Are you going to have fun helping your brother raise his sacred egg?"

"We decided Xander could let it hatch so we could see what it was then send it back," Charlie told him.  "That way no one gets attached."

"But the monkeys were so cute," Abby cooed.  "All helpful and nice.  They even braided my hair for me."

"They were carnivorous monkeys that wanted to eat the men," Garcia reminded her patiently.  Sometimes Abby was a bit strange.

"Gibbs would train them better," she assured her.  "Right after he let them eat the person who wants to fire half your unit for being good."

"That's a woman," Reid told her.

"There were those snails," Charlie reminded everyone.

Danny looked back at him.  "They thought I was a girl too, Epps.  They needed glasses."

"Snails probably don't need good vision," Tony pointed out.  "What're they going to see that far ahead?"

Greg nudged him.  "We should've brought the sci-fi chicks in the pleather back for McGee."

Tony snickered, leaning on his boyfriend's shoulder.  "That's so bad."

"I know but he'd appreciate them."

"I doubt Gibbs would have," Garcia said dryly.  "Especially since they could kick everyone but Ryan's butt."

Ryan grinned.  "I've met some very nice female warriors,"  he assured her.  "It was good of them to settle in Tony's mine kingdom instead of Xander's watchery kingdom."

"It's not my fault the stiff, older guys who needed viagra looked at me like I was the last snickers' bar in the world," Xander defended.  "So what if the sight of my hair caused the greatest breeding increase in seventeen centuries!"

"Let's not even mention the symbiotic water ferret kingdom they lived with," Danny ordered.

"I was a good boy.  I did not bring home any funky, talking ferrets with a german accent.  Especially not the guard ferrets who were wearing kilts."  Xander suddenly grinned.  "Did I get to tell you Dean found the ferret's party outfits?"  Everyone who knew what those were moaned.  "He wanted to know if the demons had shrunk me to be one of them or not.  So I had to teach him how to dress up George.  I even let Sam dress up Beauty for me."

"Don, it's a boyfriend's duty to keep your boyfriend from giving us bad mental images," Speed complained.

"At least they'd be easier to see when they sneak into the lab to steal someone's crackers," Xander shot back with a smirk.

"You let the pets come visit the lab?" Abby asked.  "That's really nice and I bet a lot of people got some stress relief from the petting.  I'll have to see if Gibbs will let us do that.  Tony, talk him into it?  There's times I could use a furry lovie so I feel better."

Horatio gave her a look.  "You know federal regulations say only helper animals, Abby."  She pouted at that.

"Besides, they snuck rides to the station in scene kits," Ryan told her.  "Then they hid around the lab until we found them from the cracker crumbs."

"My babies are brilliant," Xander agreed happily.  "It took them two days once."

"Maybe we can get Ducky to put a cage in the corner of the morgue so you can visit," Greg told her.  "That might be more doable, Abby."  Tony smacked him on the head.  "Last time I knew, you weren't Gibbs."  Tony held up his phone with the message from Gibbs saying to smack Greg.  "It wasn't my fault!"

Someone pounded on the door so Reid got up to get it.  He was the least tired.  He frowned at the hotel's manager.  "Is there a problem?  They're finally back."

"What is going on?  And what is that egg?" he demanded.

Xander looked at him.  "Someone decided Charlie and Greg were their Gods so they gave them the sacred egg that we're waiting on to hatch.  That happened right after Tony got kidnaped and married against his will, but we saved him of course, and then he inherited the mines in the kingdom.  After that we hit two demon bars and then got taken to another place that was even worse so we finally got rescued by the DPP people, the demonic police, and they sent us back to the mirror in the lobby.  Is it back to normal?  If not I can remind them for you."  The manager passed out.  "Huh.  Must have a weak mind."

"Don, Danny, your boyfriend is abusing the mind of others," Horatio said firmly.  They both distracted Xander by kissing him and dragging him into the bedroom, letting Speed hold the egg for now.

Speed looked at the egg then handed it to Greg.  "We have plenty of pets with the ferrets."

"Not mine or Charlie's fault they thought we were Valkyries," he said with a pout.

"It was nice that the culture had focused in on their powers as their deity of choice instead of the usual male dominated one," Speed admitted.

Horatio kissed him.  "Let's go back to our room, Speed."  He stood up with a small moan and led his boy off to help him with the problem of giving others bad mental images.

"At least they didn't ask us about the horses after Xander told them he was watching them for us.  Then again, with Xander's herd it wouldn't be much more strange than the unicorn that showed up that one time."  Garcia and Abby both gave him odd looks.  Tony just moaned so Greg tossed over his wallet since he had a picture and Tony was dragging him off to find a flat surface to correct his mental thoughts too.

"We'll be back soon," Tony promised, shutting the other bedroom's door.

"Wolfe, we need a pinch hitter," Danny called.  "Xander's too bouncy."  Ryan got up with a sigh and headed in there to lend his cock and mouth to calming Xander down again.

Reid looked at the ladies then at Don.  "The convention wasn't much more insane than this."

"True.  I should tell Edgerton, see how long he groans for this time."

"That's mean, Don.  He's still groaning over the triplets from Sweden who tried to take him home because he was exotic," Charlie complained.

"It's a good thing the hotel's manager heard and warned us so we could stop them at the airport," Reid said, looking at the ladies.  "If you wanted to nap, go ahead.  It'll be about an hour before they all reappear based on what happened at the last convention."

"Seems like fun to me," Garcia said with a grin.  Abby nodded her agreement.  "Think we can be put on the 'handler' list?"

"You just want to watch the guys go at it," Don Epps teased with a grin.

"Well,  yeah," Abby agreed, bouncing some.  "Think Xander would mind if we snuck in to watch?"

"Yes we would," Danny called from their room.

"Shoot," Abby pouted.

Garcia patted her on the hand.  "We'll go watch the pretty boys play at a club sometime soon, Abby."  Someone knocked then used a card key to walk in, walking over the manager.  "Is he still laying there?  That's not very good service."

"He just passed back out while I was walking up the hall," Gibbs complained, shutting the door.  "What did you do to him?"

"He asked what was going on.  Xander told him how we got the sacred egg," Don Epps told him, then shrugged at his dirty look.  "Not my fault.  They're clearing up their boy's mind," he said with a point at the loud bedroom.

"I've heard whorehouses that've had less noise coming out of them," Reid told Charlie, who nodded he had too.  Don and Gibbs both stared at him so he blushed and ducked his head a bit.  "I'm from Las Vegas, guys," he admitted, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"Greg was a CSI there.  I've heard stories," Gibbs said, shaking his head quickly.

"I should see if some of my favorite places were still there."

"Go out on vacation.  Take your boss with you since he looked like he could use one too," Gibbs shot back.

"We have politics floating around trying to get us all fired since we don't play that way," Garcia told him.  "We did need to talk about the petting stress relief idea we had earlier thanks to Horatio," she told Abby, who nodded and bounced some.

"That's right, Gibbs.  They get to pet the dogs and the ferrets now and then in the lab and Don's unit to relieve some of the stress and get good ideas.  Though Don brushes Xander's hair for the same reason but they use pets down there.  Can we have a small pet in a cage?  Maybe in the corner of Ducky's morgue?  We'd take very good care of it.  I'd bring it treats and food all the time."

Tony came strolling out of the spare bedroom doing up his shirt.  "Xander did say that the dogs' funeral was one of the best attended he had ever been to," he said, looking up at Gibbs.  "A lot of the officers who had worked with the dogs had come to pay their respects."

"Plus look at their solve rates, Gibbs," Abby added with a smile.   "It must help since they put away someone last week who had ordered eighty-three deaths in the last three months as part of a takeover bid of Miami's underground.  His whole network went down within three days."

"I was wondering why Xander was a bit bouncy when he got in," Don said, looking at Tony.  "Missed one."  He looked then hitched it then his belt.   "Honestly, Gibbs, it wasn't our fault.  The demon who took us took us all because Xander used to hunt demons and eliminated some of the upper demons for daring to touch a friend of his.  Then Xander and Ryan got tattoo messages so we had to take the longer way home.  That's where the new sacred pet came from and all that."

Gibbs held up a hand.  "I don't need the headache.  Tell a shrink if you have to get it out because I don't even want to see a report, Epps.  I only need to know anything that might affect my agents' work."

"Well, funny you should mention that, boss," Tony said with a grin.  He also backed up a step when he saw his hand twitch.  This time the head smack was going to hurt a whole lot.  "On the way home we ran into this one demon or alien, or whatever, who decided I was his perfect wife and he married me against my will but I resisted and Xander killed him for me.  So I inherited a kingdom of mines."

"Mimes?  Like the guys on the street corner?" he asked, sounding a bit hopeful.

"No, like holes in the ground that you pull stuff out of.  I have no idea what....  Hold on.  Wolfe, where's the bag?  They sent a sample of what they dig out in there."  He went to look through Ryan's pockets since it had been shrunk back down once they had broken camp.  He came out looking in the bag.  "There it is."  He handed over the wrapped bundle.  "That's mine and what they mine there."  Gibbs stared at him.  "There were others who thought Greg and Charlie were valkyries, boss.  That's how we got the sacred egg."

Gibbs sat down to open it, blinking at the bundle of stones in front of him.  "DiNozzo," he said calmly.  "What are these?"

Tony looked then shrugged.  "I can only guess, boss.  I've only seen cut gems on rings and necklaces.  You might ask Speed.  He's a trace tech and he might know.  Horatio said once he had a good hand at gem identification and they've had to do a lot of that for Xander over the years."  Abby was being helpful and calling their room for him.

Speed strolled in a minute later, looking at the bundle.  "Those are rubies."  He held one up.  "Looks like it has an occlusion of platinum.  I'd have to scope it to make sure."  He handed it back and grabbed the champagne in the bucket before walking back out so he could go back to spoiling his husband.

Gibbs carefully folded it back up and handed it back.  "I don't want to know, DiNozzo.  Oh-seven-hundred Monday morning or else."  He walked out.   He took a cab to his favorite bar.  Then he got plastered.

Don looked at the pretty stones.  "Those are nice.  They'll look nice on Greg."

Tony grinned.  "I know."  He walked off, handing Greg the bundle.  "Speed said they're rubies with little flecks of platinum he thinks."

Greg petted and cooed at the babies like Xander did the egg.  They clearly needed love too.

***

Charlie came off the plane, smiling at his brother.  "All I'm saying is that it wasn't that bad of a vacation.  It could've been a lot worse, Don.  We could've all been captured together for most of it."

"Chuck, shut up," he ordered, shaking his head as he walked off.  "It was a long, violent vacation and we can do better the next time.  Without the problems caused by Xander's past."

"But I got to learn about a lot of new stuff that I've never heard of before.  There's even theories involved," he  reminded him.  "If I can make them so they're applicable to everyday life, I could do a lot of good for everyone.  Think about it solving the housing crisis.  If I could get it to work and be stable, all the rich people would move their enormous estates somewhere else so the people who needed houses could have their lands.  There's a few estates in Beverly Hills that have more land than all of the projects in LA.  The people with money could be as grand as they wanted to be, do whatever they wanted to with their own land, but they'd have to pay someone for it and that money could very well be used to put up new, decent housing areas for families."

Don turned to stare at his brother.  "Even if you could get it to work, it'd never happen in our lifetime, Charlie," he said calmly.  "Because there's too much power and money behind showing off your wealth.  They'd have to redistrict and the state wouldn't approve because it'd mean the cash cow that drops donations on the politicians might dry up."

"You should be able to keep your original district of residence," he said dryly.  "Besides, everyone in the science and math fields have to think about the legacy they leave behind.  Beyond having kids who may never understand our work or help us with it.  If I did this, I could be taught in every single math and science class across the country some century in the future."

"You're already being taught about in upper level math classes," he pointed out, staying calm.   He didn't want to start a fight in an airport or to burst his brother's bubble too heavily but someone had to have some sense.  "Think about what the people in that field will think if you make it commonplace."

"Most of them, if they're good and realistic about their skills, probably won't mind. It's the charlatans and those sort that'll throw a fit.  It'd cut down on a lot of con artists.  Imagine what I could do if I could get that thing Xander did with his hand to Speed's leg to work for everyone," he said more quietly, glancing around.

Don took a deep breath then nodded.  "That's a worthwhile thing, Charlie, but this isn't the time and place to go over it."

Charlie nodded. "I agree and Dad's probably checking his watch to see where we are."

Don nodded, leading the way to get their bags.  His dad would help him bring Charlie back to this dimension.  They needed him focused here.

***

Tony and Greg walked in Monday morning wearing all new clothes.  He took off his very new, very expensive sunglasses with a smile for McGee.  "Morning.  How was your weekend?"

"I heard yours turned into a panic," he said dryly, looking them over.  "Hit the lottery or kidnaping reparations?"

"Reparations," Greg admitted.  "For someone having the desire to own Tony as a wife."

"Hey, he wanted me over Xander," Tony defended.

Greg smiled.  "Isn't that a scary thought?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "I've got to test my level again.  That's the second one."  McGee moaned.  "Suck it up, Probie.  It was solved.  The guy got dead thanks to Xander."

"Jealous?"

"No, Xander was being sneaky since he married me against my will and then tried to bed me."

"Um, to be delicate since Kate's up the hall, do we need medical attention for missing organs?" McGee asked.

Tony smirked but shook his head.  "He knew *nothing* about GHS.  He simply thought I was handsome and his type but he couldn't date.  So I own a mine or two now."  He smirked at Greg.  "It was nice to take the Miami group shopping like Xander did to us a few times."

"It was," he agreed.  "Horatio was very happy to get the new suits.  Speed threatened to rip one off him but that was cute too."  He sat down behind his desk and turned on his computer, looking over when a small plate materialized next to him with chocolates.  "Thanks," he called quietly.  He nibbled one with a moan.  "Ooh, the good stuff from the shop in Vegas."  He let McGee have one and Kate too since she had come to see why he was moaning.  Gibbs took one when he held up the plate and even he had to let out a very quiet, subtle moan over the flavor.  "Xander found the shop in Vegas after that one road trip where they found Hubert.  I love these guys.  He gave Speed a ten thousand-dollar gift certificate to them."

Tony smirked.  "Is that a hint for your birthday, Greg?"

He smirked back.  "You know what I want for my birthday, Tony."

"We'll see what we can do."  He looked at Kate.  "How was *your* weekend, Kate?"

"I heard yours turned into a problem."

"Not really.  We got back okay.  There's a new pet in the circle of friends.  We're waiting to see what hatches from the sacred egg Greg and Charlie Epps got given."

"Which I still don't want to hear about," Gibbs ordered.

"Yes, boss," they said in unison.

"Hey, boss, you didn't show up for the shopping trip," Tony complained, giving him a look.

"I don't need a cut of your dowry, DiNozzo.  Nor do I need more clothes.  I heard from Fornell and Hotchner about watching you boys shop.  That was more than enough for me."  Abby came bouncing up in a new dress so he glared at Tony.  "No more spoiling, DiNozzo."

"You hush.  He made me and Garcia both very pretty," Abby said, smirking at him.  She kissed him on the head.  "Other than that, why do I have a computer case with your name on it waiting on me?"

"I have no idea," he admitted.  "Who sent it?"

"The director."

"Ours?" Tony asked.

"The former director," she corrected.  "The one that should be in prison."

Tony and Greg both groaned.  They were so dead if she was out.  She'd want to sell them again.

"Is it to find her?" Gibbs asked.

"I have no clue.  I haven't touched it yet.  I thought I'd come up and see what it is you wanted me to find from the video attached.  Plus show off my new dress.  Like it?"

"It flatters you," Kate said.  "I don't get presents?"

"Only if you go shopping with us," Tony taunted with an evil smirk.

She considered it for a minute.  "No thanks.  You'd go all hyper bunny and I'd hate to watch you bounce and use trying on clothes to flirt with Greg."  She shuddered at that thought.

"But it was cute!" Abby cooed.  "Especially when Xander drug Charlie Epps into a leather shop because he had been wondering why people did that.  He doesn't always understand people very well.  His brother groans very prettily though," she finished with a smile.

"No more warping Abby, boys," Gibbs ordered, trying to sound calm.

"Yes, boss," they said in unison, then grinned at him.

"Behave or do PT today," he ordered.

"As long as the old director isn't out and trying to sell us again," Greg said dryly.

"She'd better not," Abby warned.  "Who else would I get cuddles from?"  She bounced off.  "Let me see what she sent, Gibbs.  Then we'll see where she is."

Tony finished typing into his computer.  "Listed as being in a solitary cell, boss, but no visual contact is possible.  I've written to the prison's matron to see if they know how she emailed Abby a case file."

"Thank you.  No more spoiling her.  At all.  Before she decides to take you two home with her."

"She's cute and cuddly," Greg said.  "Plus she'd be happy to snuggle at night.  Tony?"

Tony considered it then shrugged.  "Maybe as a special treat but not for every night.  She's not ready to settle down yet.  If she was, we might talk about it."

"I would hate to have to kill you," McGee told him, looking totally serious.  "Warping Abby is *bad*.  We like Abby the way she is.  She's fun, sweet, and nice."

Tony looked at him.  "Why did you two break up?"

"She's more wild than I am."

"Oh.  That reason.  Want the name of the leather shop Xander recommends?"

"I think I can do without it.  Thanks," he finished dryly.  "Did Charlie get some?"

"Yeah, two pairs of pants and a silk shirt that went very well with either pair.  That way he could go on the date Xander outlined for him and his girlfriend.  Charlie asked for a romantic idea.  They've been working together and she complains that's all they do."

"I think she'll like the idea Xander outlined," Greg agreed happily.  "Though I did add a touch to it since Xander was doing what he'd do for Don instead of what he'd do for a girl."

Tony smiled.  "I heard.  She should love it."

"Do I need to know this?" Gibbs asked.

"I want to know," Kate complained.  "There's no way either of them gave him good romantic advice."

Greg smirked and pulled up a security camera for her, letting her see.  "Watch around lunch, Kate."

She frowned, staying logged into it until later on that afternoon.  The west coast time difference was going to drive her nuts in anticipation.  She almost smiled when she saw the small carriage pulled by a pony pull up in front of the building and Charlie get out.  He walked inside, clearly trying not to pull the wedgie out by the way he was walking, wearing what had to be the new leather pants and silk shirt, carrying a basket.  She watched as some of the female students pointed and giggled, then he led her out, helping her into the carriage and handing her the basket before climbing in beside her.  The driver took them off and she changed cameras around the campus.  They went into a small grotto and the carriage trotted off while they went to nibble on the grass in the shade.  She could barely see him pouring wine.  She was smiling and giggling at something he was saying, then stroking over his shirt.  "Wow," she said finally, turning it off.  "Nice job, Xander.  And you too, Greg."

"I told him to use the carriage since she can't ride and neither can he, plus it's more of a girlish thing," he said with a grin for her.  "It go okay?"

"They're eating in some deep shadows on the edge of campus.  He's in the stuff Xander let him buy.  She's giggling.  He even had wine."

"The man scores," Tony said happily.

"If not, he should," McGee said.  "I should ask Xander for date ideas."

"You know, that might be a good business for him in the future," Greg told Tony.

"I'll suggest it to Danny," he shot back with a grin.

"Work," Gibbs ordered.  "NCIS isn't about romance, boys."

"Yes, boss."

"Hey, boss, when did Ducky get a hedgehog?" McGee asked.

Gibbs moaned and went to yell at Abby about her pet plan.  It was not allowed!

Kate gave them an odd look.  "Hedgehog?"

"The family's ferrets keep getting loose and hiding in scene kits so they can invade the lab," Greg told her while he finished a report.  "Abby decided they were stress relief and the reason Miami had such a high clearance rate.  But Federal regs say she can't have a pet in the lab...."

"So she put it in the corner of Ducky's office," Tony finished. Abby came running and hid underneath his desk.  He looked down at her and the hedgehog she was protecting in her bodice.  "Sure."  He shifted back to look like he was working and got back to it.  Gibbs came storming back.  "She might have a point, boss.  Look how often the dogs helped in Miami."

"Go away, DiNozzo.  Wear out all the bad thoughts now," Gibbs growled.  "Sanders!"

"Going, boss," he said cheerfully, dragging Tony off to Abby's lab for some fun in her office since there weren't any cameras in there.  Gibbs would calm down...eventually.

***

Xander strolled back in, smiling at his students.  "We're back!"

"I can see that," Dean said, looking him over. "You've lost five pounds and you don't look upset."

Xander hugged him around the neck.  "We got taken so we had a long vacation in some very nice realms.  I wasn't even taken for more than the first one."  They both smiled at him for that.  "Speed got to rescue Horatio.  We got to rescue Tony.  Greg and Charlie were thought to be Valkyries."  He put the egg on the counter. "They got given a sacred egg."  They both nodded slowly at that, staring at the egg.  "It's too small to be a dragon so I don't know what it is."

Don strolled in, turning Xander around to kiss him.  "I love you."

Xander smiled. "Love you too.  Why do you love me?"

"The pound has a matched set of chocolate labs.  They match your eyes.  They're very young so we can train them right."  He took a kiss.  "They're going to go tomorrow if we don't adopt them."  Xander cooed, melting on the spot.  "Please, Xander?  I need furry cuddles."

"I miss furry cuddles too, Don."

"Good.  So we're cool?"

"We'll have to get them new toys.  They won't want Spots'."

"We can do that.  Would you mind?"  Xander shook his head.  "Think you can take them to the same classes?  Make them both dogs that I can bring to the office with me?"

Xander beamed.  "I can do that."

"That's my boy."  He kissed him again.  "They're in the car."  Xander bounced out to coo at the puppies.  "They're very young puppies.  Barely weaned," he told them.

"We know someone who raises dogs to help with demon hunting," Dean said, eating a bite of sandwich.

Don looked at their plates.  "Xander's gone for three days and you guys go back to sandwiches?"

"His oven's scary," Dean complained.  "Way too many knobs."

Sam grinned.  "We're saving room for later on when he pulls something out of the freezer and cooks."

"Of course if we ever settle down, we're coming back to get cooking lessons from him," Dean finished.  He finished his sandwich too.

Don nodded.  "We can do that."  He went to help Xander coo at the puppies.  "Aren't they great?"

"They're adorable!" he cooed.  "Precious little balls of fluff."  He took a kiss. "Let's get them toys and food.  Spots was eating an adult, non-active dog formula.  They need puppy food and puppy toys and teething toys."

"We can do that," Don agreed, helping him into the back of his car so he could drive them to the pet place they liked.  They each carried one in and the clerk cooed and petted them.   Xander got a cart and let the puppy ride in the basket so she could stare around.  These were both girls and they were exactly the color of Xander's eyes.  Their own were black and nearly made you melt when you looked at them but they were already ferocious.  They had been playing with toys at the pound and had wanted the same toy so they had batted at each other for control of it while pulling on it.

***

Don walked out to the picnic area with his new pride and joy.  "Guys, meet the new furry children in the family.  This is Hershey and Kiss."  They all smiled at the two sleeping puppies.  "They're seven weeks old yesterday."

"Aww," Alexx cooed, taking one to hold.  "You're so cute, sweetie.  Just a tiny ball of drool."  She wiped her hand off since it had drool on it.  "Full lab?"  Don nodded.  "They're sweet."

"They eat socks," Danny told her, taking the other one but Xander stole her.  "Fine, you hold Kiss."  He looked at Horatio.  "I'll try not to let Don bring them to work until they're older."

Sam coughed.  "I emailed our friend who trains his dogs to help with the demon issue.  He sent how he did it so you guys can train them."  That got a mass smile and a few nods from the family.  "Xander, why did you get flowers from a girl in LA?"

"Charlie wanted romantic advice."  He grinned.  "So I gave him a date his girlfriend would coo over for years."

"And leather pants," Speed added with an evil smirk. "Did he wear them on the date?"

"Yup, and the new silk shirt too.  She said she had a lot of fun playing with it."  They all smiled at that.  Looks like Charlie was snagged and off the market!   Hershey woke up with a yawn and barked at him, wagging her tail.  "I know, the adults were giggling and it woke you, Hershey."  He let her have a piece of his chicken.  "Here you go, fried chicken is good for a baby doggy."  She ate it and Kiss barked at Alexx until she fed her one too.

"They'll be spoiled," Dean told them.

"So are the ferrets," Alexx said dryly.

"Yeah, we found their party outfits," Dean said.  They all giggled.  "I wanted to know if someone had shrunk Xander down to fit into them."  Speed cackled at that.  "Speaking of, Xander, are they dressed?" he asked, pointing at a pink lump in the grass.

Xander looked.  "No, that's the neighbor's fairies.  They come to steal some of the herbs from the garden now and then."  He looked over.  "I haven't been here and I'm not sure anything's still in bloom."  The fairy shrugged and ran that way.  "When was the lawn person here last, Don?"

"Two weeks ago," Sam said.  "I was going to offer to mow."

"They'll be back Wednesday," Danny told them all.  "I made sure of it."  They all nodded and let it go, ignoring the little pink fairy that was sneaking back to her master's house with one of the flowers Xander had gotten earlier from Amita.  No one wanted to know about those sort of fairies.  The only fairies in Miami were in South Beach, in a drag show, or Xander in high squeal mode as far as most of them were concerned.

Alexx fed Kiss another bite of chicken, getting a lot of laps for it.  "Oooh, you've got a big tongue, sugar.  Leave it in your mouth."

Don took his puppy back to cuddle and spoil.  Xander had one, he had one.  That was fair.  Danny only gave them fond looks.

"The furry lumps do not sleep on the bed with us until they're big enough to defeat the hairpins on their own," Danny ordered.  Eric snickered at that.  "What?  I had to, I'm not waking up to defeat the evil hairpins for them."

"Are they possessed like that one hair band?" Dean asked.

"I have one that's still possessed?" Xander asked.  Dean went to get it for him.  "Oh, that one.  Yeah, it was a gift.  It'll act like a portkey too.  That's why I don't wear it."  They just nodded at that and ate some more food, ignoring the begging monsters in the laps.  They'd get used to the new family members and the strangeness that Dean and Sam brought up now and then soon enough.

Table of Contents

To Find a Real Boy. 2

Fantasy Island. 17

My Babies! 38

Pouty Boys. 67

Feddies! 86

Fed'd-Up With Desire. 104

Incie, Blinky, Succie, Boo. 134

Reconstructing Home. 156

New Nests. 177

Deranged, Demented, and Defended. 198

Family Trees of Destruction. 222

The Fist of Karma. 249

The Insanity That Money Brings. 273

Fussing, Fussing, Fussing. 298

Serious Playtimes. 309

The GHS Boys of Prophetic Doom. 348

Understanding Urges. 414

Sneaking Around The Plans. 428

New Kids in the Family. 452

Retribution! 473

Strange Goodbyes. 487