Contents

Demon Criminal Investigative Service: Damned If You Do.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Ghosts of the Past.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Old Habits.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Demonic Deals Gone Bad.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Aftermath.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Merging.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Watching Over You.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Giving of Thanks.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Geeky Things.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Holiday Visitations.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Downtime and Duties.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Helpful People.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Real Families.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Never Wish A Wish of Xanders.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Interfering.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Rites of Passage.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Winchester Family Road Trip.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Training You, Training Me.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: News of the Worlds.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership Drives

Demon Criminal Investigative Service: Damned If You Do.

Daniel looked up as Mac Taylor walked into his office and shut the door.  "Big problems, little problems?  Personal problems?" he guessed. "That marriage goof?"

"Xander.  He's giggling hysterically.  Some girl sent him flowers saying she wouldn't mind being his bad girl."

"Was it Faith?  That's her style."

"No, it came from off base.  Don got them at the gate since Xander was on the phone with someone in Honduras for some reason."  Danny looked confused at that.  "No idea."

"He say a name?"

"Nick?"

"I'll ask.  I think I know who that was."  He shook his head.  "Okay, so he got flowers thanks to the extreme circumstances on Saturday.  How long has he been giggling?"

"Twenty minutes and it's well past the point of hysterical laughs.  We're getting to the point we want to sedate him."

"I'll come see."  He got up and walked around his desk, following him out.  "Xander, was that Benny Ray and the Major's Nick?"

"Yeah, Nick called to say thank you for teaching him how to use a blowdart gun since he had to on a demon."  He looked up, wiping off his cheeks.  "Need a good laugh?"

"Jack's been busy today so why not."  He showed him the card, earning a smile.  "That is cute."  Xander showed him what had been inside the card, making him stare then at him.  "How in the hell?"  That was screwed up even on the Jack O'Neill Scale of Unusual Crap That Happens To Trouble Magnets.

"We think the lucky streak came back, boss.  Sorry?"

"No, it's all right.  You can stay on base for a few days, Xander.  Can we track her down?"

"She's in the local college sorority and she's an heiress," Tony told him.  "I already did and called the bank.  The manager said it is good but she has someone who oversees her accounts so he'll talk to them to see if she meant it as a joke or not.  That way he doesn't get charged if she decides to stop payment on it."  They shared a look.  "No idea what's going on, Danny."

"Is this the only one so far?" Danny asked.

Tony shrugged.  "No idea."

"Call the gate, tell them to make sure anything that's coming to Xander hits my desk first," Daniel said.  "This is just too strange, even for us, guys."

"Maybe the lucky streak really did come from the pro who wished me luck and future cute women," Xander mumbled, shaking his head.  "Can I take a nap?"

"Go take a nap in the infirmary, Xander.  Bring the card to House."  Xander nodded, doing that with the whole plant.  Daniel looked around. "Anyone else get one?"

"Mail hasn't come yet today," Messer reminded him with a grin.  "What happened?"

Tony shrugged.  "We were running behind because of Old Man Tyler nearly dying.  Horatio knows what I know."  They all looked at Horatio, who moaned, shaking his head.  "How long did the lucky streak last?"

"Ten days," Sam said as he walked in with the plant.  "No natural light in the infirmary."  He walked off again.  Then he came back. "It's not the pro's lucky wish.  Dean's had it before.  Something about killing certain demons leaves a stink on your skin.  It comes out now and then.  Dean's had it happen twice and he's only killed one.  It's some sort of body flashback.  He's down telling House about it."  He walked off again.

"Good to know," Daniel decided, going back to his office.  When the mail came in three envelopes got dropped on his desk.  Only one was his.  He looked at the other two.  One was from Buffy.  He put that one aside.  It was hopefully harmless.  The other was from a lawyer's office.  He opened it and scanned the letter, patting his phone.  "House, send Xander up.  Sorry, Chase.  My office."  He hung up.  Xander walked in a minute later.  "I took the liberty of gathering your mail, just in case."

"Makes sense to me.  What's up?"  He took the letter from Buffy, looking it over.  "She's probably going to nag.  What's that one?"  Daniel handed it over.  He read then grimaced.  "I had to take her out.  She had the snake thingy."

"I know that.  We can help you with that," he promised.  Xander nodded at that.  "It was a good job getting her out of plain sight before you had to do it."  Xander smiled a bit.  "Are you okay with that?"

"She was going to die if I had gotten the snake itself."

"From the autopsy Alexx did, that is why she died, not your blow to the symbiot."  Xander relaxed and nodded.  "So we'll handle it."

"Thanks, Danny.  I'm sorry if this screws up my work hours."

"It won't."  He smiled.  "Go back to work."  Xander nodded, going to find more bad things coming up they'd have to watch for.  Daniel called the lawyer's office.  "May I speak with Mr. Hiro please?  Doctor Daniel Jackson, director of DCIS."  He was put on hold and transferred over.  "Sir, my agent got your letter today."  He listened to him.  "We did have one done and it was not the blow that killed the thing in her.  It was that dying that killed her," he corrected.

"It is policy to kill that one because it can transfer people and without immediate life support the host body will die."  He leaned back, frowning when Jack came in.  He found the report and tossed it over.  "Yes, I'm quite sure of it.  The local town has an excellent ME who used to work with the felony crime lab in Miami.  She transferred to be with friends out here.  She did the autopsy for us and her findings are open to you if you need them.  I'm sorry it was necessary but that symbiot has been known to take over masses of people to control them.  It's too dangerous to leave in the open."

The lawyer said something.  "Most of the time this one is classified and Xander did get her out of plain sight to deal with it.  It was in a mall, Mr. Hiro.  Considering that symbiot could enslave every man in that building and make them attack people for her, Xander's actions have been ruled reasonable.  I can get that autopsy report for you and we did remove the symbiot for her burial.  That way it can't taint her anymore and no one has to deal with it."  He nodded once, making talking motions with his hand.  Jack smirked.  "I'm quite sure.  I can fax it for you if you want."  He sat up to write down a fax number.  "I'll get that to you this afternoon.  Thank you for being reasonable."  He hung up.  "Sorry.  They're trying to sue Xander for taking out Ammit."

"Not a problem."  He sat down to read the report.  "You'll have to take out some of the facts."  Daniel sighed but called Xander in.  "Hey, kid.  Take out all the classified mentions of gou'ald?"

"Sure.  Am I in trouble?"

"No," Daniel told him.  "Go ahead and take that out of your report.  Alexx's doesn't mention it, just a snake-like thing that was attached to her brain stem."  Xander nodded, going to make a more politically correct version of that report for them.  He brought it back in and Daniel went over it, circling a few word choices.

"You didn't circle that last time," Xander pouted.  Daniel gave him a look.  "Fine. Thank you, Danny."  He went to correct it and brought it back, getting a nod.  Daniel read it over then faxed it and the autopsy report over.  Xander looked at Jack.  "Alexx was keeping it in the freezer.  We're pretty sure I got it."

"She said you did.  We've already picked it up.  She vacuum sealed it for us."  Xander grinned at that.  "You okay?"

Xander nodded.  "She came up to me in the mall."

"She wasn't one of the seven?" Danny asked.

"Um, nope."  He fled back to his desk.

Daniel shook his head.  "He had someone send him an offer to be his bad girl today and a lot of money."

Jack laughed.  "That's bad."

"Apparently if you kill one type of demon it does that to you.  Sam said Dean had that problem a few times."

Jack shook his head, still grinning.  "Better them than me.  I couldn't handle worship like that."

"Well, he does have his temple," Daniel said dryly.  Jack cracked up at that.  "He went to visit it last night and ran into SGA 1.  He brought back a letter for Abby and they were more than happy to trade with them since Xander said they were friends."

"Excellent news.  Why does their gate go there?"

"No idea."

"Even better."  He stood up.  "The new guy takes over on New Years Day."

"Congrats."

"Not really.  They still want me to retire."

"Go to training, Jack.  No one else can prepare the kids for their new jobs."

Jack smirked.  "I can do that."  He clapped Danny on the back.  "She left a bit of it attached to the kid's head.  Couldn't remove it without taking a major chunk of brain tissue.  So it's truly dead.  We sure this was Ammit?"

"She said so or so Xander said."

"Even better.  Any idea where she came from?"

"That I may.  I've been tracking down her jar.  It was part of a traveling exhibit of ancient pottery that someone broke into.  They think whoever did it was covering up that they had stolen one and replaced it with a copy.  They only stole that and the jar."  He found the report on his untidy desk and handed it over. "I'm pretty sure she came from there.  Running into Xander is what I'm not sure of.  If that was planned or not.  If she was that close, why not come here since she said she wanted me?"

Jack nodded.  "Good point.  Thanks, Danny.  I'll come visit before I take up training."  He walked off.  "Harris, good work."

"Thanks, Jack.  Is Sheppard okay?"

"He's fine."

"Tell him if he found my last backpack of stuff, I want it back.  I forgot it because of the celebration."

"I can do that."  He headed out to his copter, going back to his own base.  Daniel would call if he needed help with the classified part of the report.  Not that he blamed the family, he'd try to sue too.  It'd make them feel better to get more information.  It just wasn't a situation you could win.

***

Xander looked up from lunch as a guard walked in and handed Daniel something, getting an odd look in his direction for staring.  The guard nodded it related to him before leaving.

"Love note?" John called.

Daniel opened it then nodded.  "Yup.  Dean, you and Xander are wanted to be her loving bunnies."  Dean choked.  "She included naked pictures."  They came over to see and Xander groaned, walking off shaking his head.   "Do we know her?"

"One of Anna's teachers," Dean said, shaking his head.  "I hate whatever demon gives us this gift."

Daniel smiled, putting the card down.  "No money this time."

"Thankfully."  He went back to his seat.  "Xander, come eat," he called.  Xander came back in to finish lunch then slink off to hide in the armory for a bit.  Dean shook his head.  "He's hiding."

"I'd hide too," John admitted.  "Thankfully I never ran into one of those."

"The first time it happened you thought I was off pimping Sammy," Dean said dryly.  "It did drive you insane."

John gave him a dirty look.  "I couldn't figure out how you came up with nineteen hundred dollars in two hours, Dean.  I figured one of you probably needed a long bath."

"No, I was at the club," he said dryly.  "No sex that night.  Could've used it really."  He sipped his water.  Faith gave him an odd look.  "What?"

"Which demon is this?"

"No idea," Dean admitted.  "That week I took out three.  Xander took the same type out sometime we think since it's a similar problem."

"Wonderful," Faith sighed, shaking her head.  "We'll keep him on base if possible."

"Doesn't seem to help," John pointed out.

"Dean get taken?"

"No, thankfully not," John said, watching Dean shake his head.

"Dean usually draw bad girls?"

"Crap, I forgot about that curse," John muttered.  "Sure, keeping him on base would be for the best."

Faith nodded.  "Hey, great one?  Can we keep X on base for the next few weeks?"

"It should only last for ten days," Dean said at the odd look the agents gave him.  "Mine does."

"So, like a herpes outbreak, it's easily dealt with?" House asked.

Dean looked at him.  "Don't know, never had any, Doc.  You?"

"No.  Thankfully I pick clean girls, Dean."

Dean smirked.  "At least I treated myself the last time I ran into someone less than tidy."

"True, made my job easier.  Thank you for that.  Next time get Xander cranberry juice on the way in too."

"I can do that," Sam agreed dryly.  "But no, not that easily dealt with from what a friend of Jess's went through every now and then.  Avoiding it is often better than trying to deal with it."

John shook his head.  "How can you guys talk about such disgusting topics?" he asked.

"It's a good comparison," House said with a smirk.

Chase looked at him.  "You need more sleep."  House scowled at him for that so he smiled.  "Really.  It's more rare than an outbreak and Xander has that anti-disease charm on him."

"I need that done to me," Dean sighed.

Faith looked at him.  "Could help, yeah."

He smirked back at her.  "I usually try for clean girls but you know how it goes in the clubs."

"Not in quite a while.  We have to fix that soon before I turn into an uptight princess like B."  She ate a bite of lunch while John choked.  "Sammy, go clubbing with me this weekend?"

"No, Faith.  You might damage my fragile mind by doing something naughty," he teased.  "Take Dean.  He's more your type."

"True."  She smirked at Dean.  "You up, D?"

He smirked.  "We'll see if I'm up that night."  She giggled when John swatted him.  "What?"

"No more innuendos, son."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you!"  He shook his head, finishing up so he could take over Xander's hiding spot in the armory.  Xander looked up from sharpening a sword.  "Dean and Faith are going to drive me nuts."

Xander smiled.  "She'll be an interesting daughter-in-law."

"Bite your tongue.  Dean's not ready for settling down yet.  If so I wouldn't mind her. She's a good girl most of the time, but he's not ready yet."

Xander nodded.  "Good point.  Right, Faith?"

"Yup."  She leaned in. "Does that mean I can tap him now and then?"

John looked confused.  "Try it without the teenager speak?" he suggested.

"She wants to boink him regularly," Xander translated with a grin for Faith.

"What I said," she agreed.

"If he doesn't mind, I don't care.  You're clean, I like you, I know you, you're not some bar pickup, and I think you'd make a good Winchester some year."

"High praise," she teased.

"Have you seen what Dean dated before?"

"He had a serious girl.  She couldn't handle the demon hunting," Xander said quietly.

"I heard.  She sounded nice.  Still not one I'd choose for him."  He looked at her.  "If he goofs up too much I'll sell him into slavery to you."

"Oooh, leather Dean," she said with a shiver.  "You had to give me that image before we go spar?"

John smiled.  "Make him happy.  Or else."

"Yes, Papa Smurf."  She left to his laughter.

Xander looked up at him.  "Most of the time you look more like Papa Scruffy than Papa Smurf."

"Thanks, kid."  He patted him on the head.  "Can I help?"

"You need to teach Gibbs how to sharpen one."

"Good point."  He went to get Gibbs while Xander went back to work.  He found a card on his desk and sighed, sitting down to open it.  Then he got up to yell at the witch at the local high school.  He was not proper fantasy material for a young witch!  John watched him go, shaking his head.  "That's going to drive him nuts."

"It'd do the same to me if DiNozzo was infected."  They went to the armory to look over the usual weapons the slayers used.  Jethro didn't know more than the basic thought behind a crossbow.  He could sharpen a knife and clean guns so he was good there.  Learning how to sharpen swords would be easy enough for him.  They'd teach him the others starting now so he had more than a language lesson and nagging from the other Watchers John was going to banish to Cleveland as soon as Giles got more room set up.

***

Jack looked up as a bag landed in the chair across from his desk then at the colonel who had put that there.  "That's for...?"

"Harris at DCIS.  For *some* reason Sheppard passed that on."

"Ah."  He nodded, putting down his pen.  "Harris won this demonic-based D&D style game in Las Vegas.  It was made up to help a place get rid of a supposed god who was a bit cranky with the populace.  They named him a god of lust instead since he had wenched his way through it a bit," he said dryly.  "It's somewhere in the Pegasus galaxy.  That's probably stuff he left up there."

"Why are we delivering it?"

"He probably forgot it again after he went back to visit his temple for some stress relief," Jack said honestly.  "He's one of Danny Jackson's guys."  That got a shudder.  "Saw the guy on tv with the dragons?"  That got a slow nod.  "That's Harris."

"Charming."

"He's pretty nice.  He's a lot like a younger me without the military background.  He killed a Gou'ald in a mall last weekend."  Caldwell walked off shaking his head.  That was too strange for him.  That was saying a lot considering where he worked.  Jack got up to look at the bag, smiling at the contents.  The kid had packed weapons.  One was shrunken so he took it out, watching the battleaxe expand in his hand.  "Nice," he decided, testing an edge.  Sharp, heavy, pretty.  Probably useful in his line of work.  He called Caldwell back.  "Drop some stuff off at DCIS?" he suggested, putting the battle axe against the chair.

"Why, sir?"

"Because I have samples for their lab."

"We can't do it?"

"We keep running into demon samples."

"I have some of those from McKay for the lab too."

"To Abby?"  He nodded.  "She's their head of R&D and their forensic lab.  They're friends."

"McKay makes friends?" he asked, looking confused.

"She considers him like a strange brother."

"Is she normal?"

"A bit goth but very nice.  Babbles and bouncy, happy with caffeine."  Caldwell walked off with the axe and the backpack, going to put it with the stuff that had to go to DCIS.  Jack smiled.  You learned to appreciate Abby after five minutes with her.  McKay had too.  Even if he was still scared of the unicorns.

***

Daniel walked outside like the call had asked him to, looking up as rings came down and left a backpack, a battle axe, and a large rolling case.  "Thank you!" he called.  The rings disappeared and the ship moved off.  He could feel the change in the atmosphere. One of the guards gave him an odd look.  "Jack."

"Obviously.  Need help?"

"No, that's why I have Xander."  He called his desk.  "Xander, delivery from SGC for you.  Bring Abby too.  She has one."  He hung up.  Within seconds he could hear Abby squealing.  He wisely got out of her way.  She nearly tripped over the axe but he steadied her.  "Easy, that's Xander's."

"I love him!"  She gave him a hug, then Xander a hug when he came out.  "Thank you!"

"You're welcome."   He picked up his stuff, finding a letter on the sidewalk.  "Looks like that's to us."  She picked it up to open it, giggling at the message for Xander to stay in his own galaxy.  "What?" he asked at her tolerant look.  "I show up in some of the damndest places.  Like Waldo."

Daniel looked at him.  "I'll remember that.  Go put those up.  Unless you have a current case?"

"Taylor stole it."

"He needed work to do too, Xander.  This gives you more time to work with the girls."

"Fine, let me go put up my baby and my other weapons."  He went to do that.

Abby moaned at the axe.  "So pretty."

Xander smirked back at her.  "She's my baby the way Dean's car is his.  I'll teach you if you want.  We have a few smaller ones in the armory."

She shrugged.  "Maybe Sunday."  She got help moving the cart into the building, taking it up to her lab.  She had been a bit bored too.  In the case was a letter for her so she settled in to read it first.  She had missed her buddies!

***

Calleigh walked out of the armory, finding John getting coffee.  "We have a battle axe?"

He looked at her.  "That's Xander's baby.  It's been with him through a lot on the hellmouth.  He finally got it back from his temple."  He went back to stirring in sugar.

"Oh.  Are you guys going to be making more bullets soon?  I can help."

"Sure, if you want.  With all the reloads we should make more hollow tips."  She nodded at that.  "We'll call."  She smiled and walked out.  He went back to the armory to look at the battle axe.  He saw Gibbs looking at it, one hand tracing the figures carved on the heads.  "Xander's baby."

Gibbs pulled back.  "It's a strong weapon."

"It is," he agreed.  "He used it for many years on patrol.  Still trips with it sometimes too."  He grinned. "He said it's fussy to sharpen."

"I can see why.  It's a softer metal than most of the swords."

"It's a silver mix."  He took a sip of his coffee.  "Ready to go back to crossbow practice?"

"Sure.  Which one is Xander's gun locker, in case I need the strange weapons?"  John looked then pointed at one of the larger ones.  "Just guns?"

John popped the lock, letting him see the two mini-crossobws done in a high impact resin so it wouldn't set off metal detectors.  Three handguns.  One case underneath it all.  "I'm not sure if that's a take apart rifle or not."

Xander leaned in.  "What?"

"The case."

"No, that's a take apart sword."  He came in to show it off.  "Took me forever to find one."  He grinned.  "Won it in a kitten poker game."  He put it back and put things back on top of it.  "How's your crossbow, Gibbs?"

"Barely passing."

"We can fix that."  He took one of the older ones.  "Heavier has less recoil than the lighter ones. That'll help your aim."  They took him down to the range so Xander could help him.  Since he didn't have anything to do.  John brought down his mini crossbow, earning a smirk.  "Wanted to try it out?"

"Definitely."

"Strap goes around your wrist for stability."  He helped John put it on then watched him take aim and let one fly.  "Not bad.  It aims a bit low."  He looked back at Gibbs, who looked amused.  "I aim that way usually."  He showed him the shoulder stance, the less stiff chest height shot, and then the pulling it up suddenly shot.  That one worked better for him but that was fine with them.  Gibbs worked on it.  "Just think, reusable ammo," he teased.

"How long did it take you to master it?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not that long.  I learned in a life or death sort of environment though.  You learn really fast how to duck claws and blades, not to get staked on your own stake, and figure out what you can and can't do while patrolling.  It's real easy to get dead and that violates the first and second rule of Slaying."

Gibbs nodded. "They got told to me.  Most of them make sense but I can't agree everyone looks hot with artillery."

Xander grinned.  "You'd be surprised.  Even John does."  John swatted him, earning a grin at him.  "You do too."

"Faith does too."

"Faith needs to buy her own artillery."

"Fine."  They went back to target practice.  "I usually use a more modern interpretation of a crossbow," he told Jethro.

"Giles likes these because he likes older weapons.  Hates guns," Xander reminded him.

"I've noticed that.  Rona apparently suggested they blast a poltergeist and she said he gave her a horrified look when she did it after he complained it wasn't the slayer way."

Xander snorted.  "No, it's not.  Stakes are practical weapons, easy to make too, but not the best one for the job at all times.  That's how I came to have the battle axe."

John nodded.  "I figured it was.  Too big for Buffy?"

"Basically.  Bottom of the box so I got it anyway.  I learned a lot on how to use it."  He shrugged.  "It's a good weapon to have even if she is fussy to sharpen."  He watched Gibbs fire another set of arrows.  "You know, they make self loading ones with clips."

John moaned.  "Those are expensive and they don't always load right, kiddo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I tried a few at a store.  They're not great weapons.  Good enough for the duffer but no."

"How do you speed load?" Gibbs asked.

Xander took his mini crossbow and put it on Gibbs' arm then got his usual band of arrows.  "Like this."  He took one and loaded it then cocked and fired.  Gibbs nodded, working on that weapon for a while.  The recoil was worse in the smaller frame but he could load faster.  "It can also help you block blows but anything too heavy can snap it."

"Do we get body armor?" Gibbs asked.

"I've been working on the idea of body armor but I can't find a substance thin and strong enough to do it.  Benny Ray and I both looked and can't find it."

"Some of the new spider silk applications aren't bad," John admitted.  "They won't block a blow with a sword or a bullet but they'll keep scrapes from claws down to a minimum."

"I know.  We looked into that on the new thin armor since most demons won't use guns and they're rated high enough for our tastes."  Gibbs looked at him.  "We spend a lot of time running and even the demons who use guns don't use heavy caliber weapons.  They go for concealable and nothing usually over a forty-five or a nine.  Street weapons.  The armor is rated for those."  That got a nod.  "Other than that, we're not sure.  We're still looking at some of the offshoot dealers and inventors.  Can you ask Dean to consider it?"

John gaped.  "I forgot Dean likes to tinker."

Xander nodded.  "He does.  He built me my own EMF meter."  He grinned.  "The guys at the museum with me wanted to know if it was a PKE."

"I hated that movie," John muttered, shaking his head.

Gibbs snickered.  "Too close to the truth?"

"If I had traps like that, I'd make money."

"If you had the portable nuclear accelerator, we'd all make money," Xander said dryly.  "Unfortunately the last geek I knew who could make one died in the hellmouth."  John gaped.  "What?  The geek trio in Sunnydale were evil but Andrew could do it if he wanted."  Mac came down.  "How are you with a crossbow?"

"Barely acceptable."  Xander handed him one and went out to gather bolts for them.  They went back to target practice.  "Xander, they said the battle axe up there is yours?"

"It's my baby.  I trained myself in how to use it on patrol."

Mac looked at him.  "Did no one train you formally?"

Xander shook his head.  "Giles wasn't allowed.  There's not supposed to be anyone who hops into the slayers' battles.  Pity because I did and dragged Willow.  That's why Buffy's still alive."

Gibbs blinked.  "No one trained you?"

"No, I learned in an environment that meant I'd be killed if I didn't learn fast.  I may not be perfectly correct but I get enough of it from practical experience that I can save my life and the lives of others.  I practiced my ass off with the weapons we had when I could get them from the book cage in the library.  Giles wasn't thrilled to have us learning much."

"Rupert needs a foot up his ass," John agreed.  "They kept telling him he was too normal too."

"He's considered normal?" Gibbs asked.

"According to Buffy."  Xander grinned at him.  "I'm not a witch or a slayer.  Or a Watcher."

"Then what are we considered?"

"Normal, like I am," Xander said.  "Even without the possessions or any other ability I may have."  He glared at John.

"You're the one who has the visions."

"I was getting them off Sam!" he defended.

"Yeah, right," John said dryly.  "No.  You're not."  Xander frowned at him.  "It doesn't work that way, Xander.  They're your visions."  Xander slowly shook his head.  "Yeah.  Even the crazy knights and part of the prophecy of the First Evil said so.  You have more than those 'just in case' feelings you get now and then to save all our lives.  Sorry, kiddo, but it's one of the many reasons hell wants you so badly."

Xander grimaced.  "Eww."

"The demon in the urn said four major movers in hell want you," he offered.  "You're too much of a wildcard.  The best thing is that it'll take something massive to turn you dark."

Xander nodded.  "I'd probably come back afterward too.  Handle something then turn myself in."

John patted him on the shoulder.  "Good boy."  Xander grinned.  "Though, you need more work with a machete.  You're used to longer blades and they're very hard to conceal."

"I know.  It's what Giles had."

"Giles has some flaws in his taste in weapons," John said with a smirk.

"True.  It's nice the soldier's memories gave me all the weapons stuff."

"It is.  Oh, Calleigh wanted to help us make more hollow tipped ones."

"Sure, I don't mind.  She probably knows how."  His phone went off.  "Yup?" he asked, listening to Don Epps tell him about a new problem.  "Really?"  He listened, frowning as he rested against a dividing wall.  He scrunched his face up.  "Sure, I can be back tonight, Don.  Fax it to me?"  He smiled.  "Thanks, man.  See you tonight."  He hung up.  "Don Epps just popped up a dealer clan with artillery and guns.  Gotta go, guys.  John, put mine back."  He went to gather what he needed then packed a bag before coming back.  "Paul, pick a CSI.  We've got a dealer clan with artillery and guns."

"I'm on," Danny Messer said.

Xander looked at him.  "No.  The type of dealer clans will rip you apart for being in a trio according to the rumor mill.  They're uptight that way.  Sorry.  Next one?"  Danny nodded at that.

"That means I'm up," Speed said, grabbing things.  "Let me pack; warm up a car, Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  "Can we pack a car into the plane?"

"Yes," Daniel called.  "That's how the BAU does it.  I checked, ours can hold one.  It's modified to do that."   He came out with forms.  "Don sent these?"

"Yup."  He smiled and gave him a hug.  "I packed nice shirts and jeans.  I promise I won't look like a slob.  Hug the girls and assure them I'll be okay."  They headed out together, picking up Speed on the way.

"I need to get a few more cars," Daniel decided.  Tony nodded at that.  He gave him a punch on the shoulder.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  Let's hope this is riding to the rescue like SWAT does."

"We can only hope."  He went to monitor the news feeds from LA while working on his desk full of reports that had to be sent on.  Fortunately most people included the name of the case on the top in the header.  He really needed to organize this better.  Ryan brought in a desk supply catalog, getting a smirk.  "Reading minds?"

"Noticed you had spread out again and you were coming out for coffee more often due to the clutter."

"My old office had books everywhere.  I had a system."

"We have a library here for that."  He walked off, going to work on his own research case.  He had marked a set that would look nice in the office.

Danny looked where they had a post-it note and smiled, getting online to order that from his salary.  It was a good set and it'd give him another filing cabinet too.  He decided he was going to move team cases to their own cabinet since they were thicker files.  They'd even deliver it in two days.  He added an extra bookcase too, just in case he wanted to bring some of his artifacts here.  Then he went back to watching the LA news feed.  If Epps had called, it was bad.

***

Xander walked up to the SWAT van, tapping someone on the shoulder.  He had been giving orders, he was in charge.  "DCIS."

The man turned to look at him.  "Why are you here?" he demanded.

"Because the blue skinned ones are our job.  They're a dealer clan of demons.  We got intel this morning that they've been dealing weapons."  That got a groan.  "Up to and including artillery."  That got a deeper moan.  "I'm also someone they're going to respect.  If they don't, they're going to be sorry."

He nodded once.  "How trained are you?"

"I trained with the slayers and I worked beside there for over seven years.  I'm over my two-year mark at DCIS."

He looked at him.  "Weapons?"

"I'm our gun god on base," he said honestly.  That got a smirk.  "I am.  Our last armory master quit if you know someone who could do the job."  He grinned.  "We're recruiting for that spot."

"We'll see."  He looked him over.  "No armor?"

"They won't shoot at me."  He handed off his backpack. "Hold that."  He took the tactical sound equipment and put it on like a pro.  "Which one is your target?  The one with the rifle or the one with the concealed grenades?"  They all stared.  "He's not naturally that lumpy, guys."

"Any and all.  We want them out of there.  They supposedly have a hostage."

"Good enough," Xander said.  "Anyone on site?"

"No.  Nearby, not in yet," the head guy said.

Xander nodded.  "Thanks, big guy."  He walked around the van, pausing to put his hands on his hips and glare.  "What the fuck are you doing!" he shouted.  The demons jumped and tried to hide.  "Oh, no!  They called me out of cleaning the armory to come see you guys."  He walked that way, kicking in the door.  "Put it down, Junior, before I make you fuck it," he told the human in there.  He dropped his weapon.  He glared at the one with grenades.  "Are you pregnant?  If not and those grenades go off, we'll be having a discussion that'll amuse the Powers forever and ever."  That one took off his vest of grenades.  Xander looked at the head of the clan.  "Did you think I was bored?"

"Yes," he said.  He smirked.  "Why call you here for our transaction?"

"I heard my name whispered in fear if I found out you were dealing weapons," he shot back.

"Pity you did.  The girls will not be pleased to bury you."

"Oh, right," he snorted.  "Faith couldn't kill me.  Anya couldn't kill me and she was stronger than you.  What makes you think you can do what they couldn't?"

"We have one you protect," he sneered, standing up.

Xander stared at him.  "Hope the Goddess helps you if you hurt Crissy."  The demon sneered.  Xander lunged and snapped his neck on him  then he dusted off his hands.  "Anyone else?"  They all backed off.  "I want the weapons, I want the hostages, and I want them now!" he finished in a shout  "Before I lose what little is left of my temper and let the hyena out, boys and girls."  They screamed and fled into the arms of SWAT.  Xander waved them inside to check the building with him.  "Crissy," he sighed.

"I'm okay.  They didn't touch me, Xander.  They only pounced and dragged me in here.  I'm dizzy from the baby."

"Good!  It means I don't have to go on a rampage."  He gave her a hug.  "Go with the nice paramedics and I'll buy ice cream before I go back to base."  She nodded, letting the officer help her out.  He looked around and found the hidden doorway to the storeroom.  He sighed when he ran into multiple portals, not liking this.  He checked each one.  They were full.  He came out and found a confused looking head of SWAT.  "Portals."

To him they looked like drying laundry.  "Uh-huh."  Xander pointed so he stepped through one then came out looking a bit shaky.  "They were going to do what with this?"

"I'm going to find out," he promised.  "For right now, we pack them this way," he ordered calmly, showing him how to do it.  "Do not rip them.  Each crystal goes with each sheet."  That got a nod and he pulled people to do that while Xander went to glare at the demons.  "Why did we have eight portals full of guns?"  They sneered at him.  "Paul, go help find the other hidden areas with Speed please?  I don't think I found them all."  They went in to help.   He stared at them.  "You had to raise my temper this way?" he demanded to the one who looked like he was in charge.  "Who's the buyer, boys and girls?"

"We don't have to speak," one said.

Xander nodded. "That's true but if you don't I get to hunt them down like I used to," he said with a cold, cruel smirk.  "Human or not."  They shuddered and looked away.  "If you value their business it'll go on without them I'm sure.  It usually does."  He stepped closer to one of the females.  "You're with egg.  Do you really want to spend the rest of your life away from it?" he asked in a cold voice.  She shook her head, staring at the ground.  "Then who was going to buy all that and where do I find the records?"

"Our home," she whimpered, backing away with a flinch.

"Which is where?" Xander asked calmly.  "I won't hit you."

"We will," one sneered.  "Traitor."

Xander slapped that one, making him scream.  "Shut up, rat bait."  They shrank back.  "That's right, we were with the girls in Cleveland and one of the clan cells is full of rat demons."  They all moaned.  "Now, where is the clan home?"  One whimpered something.  "Do I have to ask Angel?" he demanded.  "He doesn't want to see me coming either."

Connor coughed from the other side of the demons.  "They live out toward the valley, Xander."  That got a smirk.  "Crissy?"

"ER, just in case.  She said they didn't hurt her."

"Good!  I'd hate to go badass on them."  He stared at them.  "DCIS or us, girls."  One of the males sneered.  "If you got caught, you're nothing but a breeder," he assured him, sneering back.  "We can make sure of it.  Rosenburg can do that."  That demon shrank back.  "I can do it with my knives."  He stepped closer.  "Where is the exact address of the rest of the weapons and the money?"

"And the files," Xander added.  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I'm not this patient."  The demons started to babble.  Mostly the same address.  Xander wrote them all down and nodded at the officers.  "They're going back to the DCIS prison," he said.  "They're demons and you don't want them."

"No, we don't.  How are you getting them there?"

Paul came out.  "Let Speed take them.  We found three more, Xander."

"Areas?"

"Sheet portals."  He looked at the address.  "Two of those are on the suspected drug ring warehouse list."

"Cool beans," he said with a smirk.  "Connor, are you able to watch them for us until Dawn gets out of school?"

"Not an issue.  We can take them back to the hotel?"

Xander nodded.  "Works for me."

"Then we can watch them for you guys.  Because you scare me, Xander."

Xander grinned.  "You say the sweetest things," he cooed, pinching his cheek, getting swatted at for it with a scowl.  "It has nothing on the seven bad girls who tried to take us hostage in a mall.  Two with bombs."

"Together?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope."

"Damn," Connor said, shaking his head quickly.  "You do draw the bad things, Xander.  Can I have help getting them moved?"

"Oh, hell yes," the head of SWAT ordered as he came over.  "Our jail?"

"Ours," Xander said.  "They're strong enough to break the lighter bars they just started to install.   You can hold them if you want."

He looked at the demons.  "Wasn't there one more?"  Xander pulled him up by his top fin.  "Hiding?"

"He's going to turn me into a girl!" he shouted.  Xander gave him an odd look, making him whimper.  "Please, I'll be good.  You and the Destroyer will not have to hurt me."

"Good.  We like that," Xander agreed.  He looked at the head of SWAT.  "Up to you.  Connor's people can watch them for us if you want.  I know some people can't handle demons."

He considered it. "We'll help.  We're used to strange stuff."

"No, we'll need backup," Xander said, handing over the list.  "This is where the records and the rest of their crap is.  The clan home probably has kiddies.  The others I have no idea."

He looked it over.  "We can help with that."  He smirked at him.  "You're not bad, kid."

Xander smirked.  "I had to learn somewhere being bad meant death."  He shrugged.  "That's why I scare them."  He watched Connor and a few officers take the demons off to be confined for a while.  He called his boss.  "Danny, need a warrant for three locations.  The dealer clan was in a stand-off when we got here.  We have eleven portals here and three more locations to look for evidence."  He listened, then read off the addresses to their judge.  "Please.  I'm with LA SWAT commander Hondo."  He nodded.  "That'll work, thank you, Judge.  In custody waiting on Dawn to get out of school.  Connor has them with some local officers.  Thanks.  So far about twenty.  One's scared to death because Connor told him he was going to castrate him and turn him into a breeder."  He smiled.  "No, the information didn't come from him.  I agreed Rosenburg could do that spell and they all shouted where things were while he cowered behind a woman. Thank you, with egg."  He hung up.  "There we go.  It'll be faxed over within minutes."

Hondo smirked.  "Not bad."

"Our own judge.  It helps."  He shrugged, handing back the sound equipment.  "Thanks for the lending.  Paul, Speed, we done?"

"Nearly," Speed called back.  He came out carrying a few bags.  "Each one with the crystal.  You're going to be counting forever," he complained.

"Yup."  They waited on Paul, who was talking with a coworker SWAT had called in.  They finally came out.  "We good, Paul?"

"Top to bottom, Xander.  No more hidden areas; the pendant Dawn made me to detect magic didn't go off."

"Good.  We have three spots and warrants coming in."  They nodded.  He looked at the spare ATF agent.  "Up to them.  It's their city.  We'll share the haul or not."

"Depends on what they have," he said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "It'll take me a while to count with Duquesne and Taylor.  Benny Ray retired this year."

He nodded.  "We can lend you one, Harris."

"That's fine.  We don't mind help."  They got into the truck and went to pick up the warrants and pull up plans for those buildings if they could.  They could for two on the watch list.  One of the demons was brought back to point out where things were.  One good glare from everyone and he caved easily enough.

***

Paul got off the plane that night then turned to help Speed down.  "You still good?"

"It's only a bruise, Paul.  I've had them before."  He looked at Xander, who was getting the SUV out of the plane, then at him.  "He had to."

"He didn't.  We had backup."

"Who was over a block away, Paul, with some of them getting away to do it again.  We had to.  You good with that?"

"No."  He walked Speed to the SUV then did a last check of the plane before waving at their pilot that they were clear.  He got into the back of the SUV, watching Xander check his grazes.  "You didn't have to rush, Xander."

Xander looked back at him.  "We'll put this before the assault trained people on base, Paul.  You can ask Taylor and Horatio."  That got a nod.  Though Xander knew he was right.  The SWAT guys said he was right when Paul first complained.  Even though one of them got grazed.  It had been the only way to break that stand-off situation.  He drove them back to base, thinking the whole way.  He had done his report on the plane.  The other guys would be in tomorrow.  They parked and carried the evidence bags into the armory, nodding at John.  "Evidence, don't touch.  We're doing the count and all that over the next week with Feds and LA SWAT."

"That's fine, guys."  He pointed at the evidence locker.  "I made one of the girls on punishment clean it and kill the mouse."  They put it in there and locked it with Xander's lab and vault code.  Then they left to let Paul have his say in front of Taylor and Horatio.  They both agreed with Xander.  Though Horatio did pull Speed over to check him for injuries once he heard it had been a problem bust.  The bruise got a moan from Eric.

"I'm fine," Speed told him.  "Really."  He got free and sat down, pulling back on his t- shirt.  "Xander got us vests from them.  Yell at him for going into the first stand-off without one on."

Xander shrugged.  "I knew they weren't going to hurt me.  They're scared to death of me.  Speaking of, we did get them sent back, right?"  Everyone nodded.  They had spent the afternoon logging in new prisoners with the guards.  "The one that's pregnant has her own cell?"

"And the sniffling one," Don said with a smirk.  "What did you say?"

"Connor promised to turn him into a breeder one way or another when he sneered at the pregnant one."

"Ah.  Castration fears.  Good work."

"He only cowered but he quit trying to force her to shut up."  He looked at Paul.  "Tell them the rest."  Daniel walked in.  "Have the report on Speed's laptop, boss.  Want it before or after the count?"

"After."  He sat down to listen to Paul complain about what else had happened.  He glared at Xander for the no vest during the first incident issue but otherwise he agreed.  "It sounds more like you're used to a controlled, mass team effort whereas most of Xander's training is from a small strike force or team standpoint, Paul.  When you only have five people or so, you do things differently than having the whole agency at your back."  Paul slumped at that, nodding a bit.  "The fact is that SWAT uses the same methods so he adapted his strategy to what they could do and were trained to do."

Paul nodded.  "Maybe I should switch teams for a bit."

"I'll miss you at my back," Xander said quietly, looking at him.  "You're good backup and you help me a lot, Paul."  That got a smile and they shook hands.  "Am I keeping Speed?"

"No," Horatio said.  "I want him on ours.  He's not a great weapons person and you seem to deal with them a lot," he said at Xander's amused look.  "You can have Calleigh."

"Sure, I'll take Calleigh but I will warn you that I do deal in the worst of the worst cases.  If it's a slavery ring it goes to Tony.  If it's worse than that I get it."

"I can handle that."

"Cool.  We'll work on training you to put up with my insanity tomorrow.  Ask Ryan, I'm mean."  He looked at Daniel.  "We have one of the ATF guys and one of the SWAT guys coming to help us with the count.  We have ninety-two portals with guns and two with money, plus three with files."  Daniel moaned.  "They're probably going to want the files."

"I'll have the copier moved to wherever we're doing the count," he decided.  Xander grinned.  "Remember how much room our storage area has, Xander."

"I know but damn it, I covet them."

Daniel smirked.  "I know.  We'll see if we can keep some so you can play with the artillery," he teased.  Xander grinned back.  "Calleigh can help you guys count since she's used to the job."

"I asked the SWAT guy to suggest an arms master for us.  I figured he'd know someone."

"I didn't think about that," Mac admitted.  "I can ask ours if he doesn't."  That got a nod and Xander looked around.  "Go rest, kid.  You look tired."  Xander nodded, heading to get a snack and do that.  Mac shook his head.  "You okay, Paul?"

"Not a scratch on me thanks to Xander.  He's got two or three small grazes and a few vest bruises.  Speed followed him to get his."  He shrugged.  "Maybe I'm too sane to be here."

Danny smiled.  "If so, you can go back to the ATF or another agency without penalty, Paul.  It's in the contract."  That got a nod and he gave him a wrist squeeze.  "Go rest and shower.  You look tired too."  He nodded, going to do that.  He looked at Speed.  "Need to see the docs?"

"It's a bruise.  I've had others.  Not even bruised ribs.  The vests they have are thicker than ours in Miami."

"Good.  We should look into body armor."

"Xander is for demon matters," John said from his corner.  "He's still trying to find a good one for the girls and watchers."

"He'll tell me then.  Have someone make sure he doesn't need stitches.  You know how Xander is."

"I texted Sammy."  He smirked.  "If he can't out stubborn him, the girls will."  That got a laugh from the guys who had seen the girls in fussing over something mode.  They watched as Sam dragged Xander to the main building and the infirmary.  "See?"  They all smiled and went back to their movie.  It was a good bonding night.

***

The ATF guy walked into the armory first, whistling.  "This is nice," he decided.

"It's a bit cramped," Xander said, shrugging a bit one-sidedly.   "We manage.  We've got them locked in the evidence locker.  If they've been moved I get to kill someone."

"I heard you could," the SWAT commander said as he and one of his guys came in.  Xander moved to open the vault and frowned.  "Problems?"

"I think we're missing one."  He called Calleigh down.  "Was anyone in here?"

"I have one out to start the count in the evidence room next door," she told him, getting a nod.  "I figured I'd have to help since it looks like most of it's artillery."

"Sure," the SWAT commander said.  "Who're you?"

"Calleigh Duquesne, formerly of Miami's felony crime lab in ballistics."  She held out a hand.

"Smart, talented, and pretty."  He shook her hand.  "Hondo, this is Street.  That's an ATF agent I don't know because he's not that friendly."

The agent looked at him.  "I'm Paul Mercer's former partner, ma'am."  He shook her hand.  "Your reputation proceeds you.  Of course you can help us with the count."

She smiled.  "Good.  Paul just switched teams with me since Xander has so many gun crimes."  She let them carry over a few more of the bags to go through.  "I already put down log sheets and pens, boys.  Xander, why won't it work for me?  I've been trying to figure it out for the last half hour."

He looked then turned the crystal over until it fired.  "It's specifically set for each portal."  She walked in and moaned so he stuck his head in.  "Back out here.  Let's retune it."  He did that and it fired up to the correct one this time, making her let out a happier moan.  "Are we teaming up to do the count?" he asked.  "We can get Paul down to help," he offered the ATF agent.

"Sure, works for me."  Xander nodded and called him down.  "Fortunately I do know guns.  That was never Paul's strong suit."  Paul strolled in.  "Morning."

"Yes it is."  He adjusted the portal and checked then again, getting the real one.  "That's cute of them."

"Like the trunks in Harry Potter," Xander said happily.  "We had a portal maker who reads.  That's not that usual.  Usually they study their navels until someone pays them."  He looked at the SWAT guys, putting up theirs for them.  "They're really handy.  We take ours on field calls."  He looked at them.  "Want to split the teams or not?"

"Go ahead and I'll work with her," Hondo decided, going to work with Calleigh.

Xander and the other guy walked into theirs.  The guy whistled, listening to it echo.  Xander grinned.  "Exactly.  Pity most of it'll be destroyed."  They got to work on the shelf nearest the door and worked their way out to the sides.  Xander finally got hungry.  "You nearly done?" he called.

"Nope.  You?"

"Nope.  Lunch or a snack?"

"That'll work," he agreed.  They marked their spots with their clipboards and walked out to get a snack and come back.  They found the shelves had rearranged themselves but they had marked shelving units so that was all right with them they guessed.  As long as the count matched the number of weapons and they were sure.  They finished up and came out in time for dinner, finding the others waiting.  "If you go in wanting to get back to work, your work comes to you," Street told them.

"I noticed that," Calleigh said.

Xander shrugged.  "I didn't.  The only times I use them I'm grabbing whatever works and is closest."  They all smiled at that.  "Really."  They refolded theirs and rebagged it, putting it aside.  Street wrote the bag number on the forms then hole punched them and put them into the notebook they were using to collate.  "Okay."  He checked his watch. "It's two and the snack we had at ten is leaving me starving.  The caf should still have something since the girls are in school.  Food?"  They nodded and went to eat then come back to work.  Fortunately a few of the new apartments were done so they could put them up for however long this was going to take.  Hondo faxed back the list they had so far.  His boss spluttered on his message back - it had spit marks.  Told him to stay and figure out how they had done it.  Xander shrugged.  "Take one."

"Thanks, man."

"We don't need a hundred of them."  He grinned.  "By the way, the girls will hit on you, be nice back or they'll pout or beat your ass."  They all nodded and Paul walked his partner off whispering about the girls.  Xander shook his head and led the others back to the caf.  "Got six done, boss," he called as he walked in.

"Out of nearly ninety?" he asked.

"Closer to a hundred counting the non-weapon ones."

Daniel moaned.  "That's a bad average."

"I can help," Mac offered.  "Gibbs and I can."

"They're nearly never ending," Calleigh warned.  "It took us four hours as a pair to do one of them."

Horatio moaned.  "Who were they selling to?"

"All the files and all their money is in some of the portals," Xander said.  "Also, check to make sure they weren't using the new spaces they had set up."  That got a moan from Gibbs.  "Sorry, guys, like the HP trunks in some cases."

"I can help find the files.  I marked them a certain way," Speed said.  That got a brighter smile from the ATF.

"The copier's been moved down to that room," Daniel agreed.  "If we need to, I might be able to borrow some of Jack's armory guys."

"If we have to, I can call our brethren and they will know about weapons," the ATF agent assured him.

"Sure, that'll work," Daniel decided.  "We have two spare apartments with all you guys here so tell them they'll have to bunk together."  They nodded at that.  Hondo called, the ATF agent called.  Calleigh called Bobby up from Las Vegas.  That was the closer destruction site and he was good, met up to her standards and beyond.  She'd even let him have her couch while he helped.  They agreed it was fine and ate dinner before tackling another set of them with Speed sorting out the files and money ones so other people could help.

"Holy God, not even Las Vegas brings in this much money a year," Ryan complained in one of the money ones, earning a few laughs.  "It's not banded either!"

"Counting machine is in the armory vault," Xander called into the portal.  Ryan went to get it and some gloves since it looked like it might have some drug residue.  Xander went to his own and moaned in pleasure, stroking the nearest handgun.  "Poor baby."

Street smiled.  "You can probably keep some of them."

"Maybe.  We're running short on agent guns."  He got his clipboard from the table and came back to start work.  Serial numbers, make, model, and caliber if he could name it.  If not, he had to ask Street but he only had a few of those.  He heard someone clear their throat from the opening.  He leaned around a case.  "You are?"

"Bobby Dawson, LVPD crime lab, ballistics," he said with a soft accent and a smile.  "Calleigh called."

"Jump in, dude," Xander assured him.  "That's a high enough recommendation for us."

He came in.  "Calleigh said to help you guys since she didn't hear moans of complaint."

"Mostly handguns.  We'll be done with this one pretty soon," Street said.  "I only have two more cabinets.  Help Xander."  Xander nodded at that and let Bobby help him.  When they were done, they tested to find another area, finding a full one.  They went in there to sort that one out, making Bobby moan and nearly fall to his knees in pleasure.  "I know," Street said smugly.  "This is our third set today."  They marked the forms to start the new portal section and got to work.  Bobby got his own clipboard and started on the far wall on Xander's side.  Xander and he shared a look.  "It'd be mean to not let him pet the weapons," he agreed.

"I know.  I do the same thing."  He got back to work.  Most of these he knew.  Some had it written on them.  A few he didn't and had to ask Bobby but that was fine.  Bobby was more than happy to tell him the difference between a few of the models.  "Want a job?" Xander asked.  "We're looking for an armory master."

"Tony offered me once but I still love my lab, Xander.  Sorry."

"That's okay."  They got back to work.  Xander was starting to pout about all the toys they wouldn't get to keep.  Street too.  Someone stuck their head in.   "We're still in here," Xander called when he heard the whistle.

"It's midnight, guys.  Want to pack it in?"

"No," they called in unison.

"Okay then," Tony decided, going to tell the others they were still working on it.  Calleigh sighed and went to complain but Bobby had her petting a few things within minutes.  It was good for her to remember why she did ballistics.

***

Xander walked into breakfast the next morning.  "Hey, boss."

"Xander, did you get any sleep?"

"Four hours on the table."  He grinned.  "I'm good to go again with some coffee."  He got himself some and got handed a card.  "What's this?"

"Another of the psycho posse," Dean said dryly.  "Came to us via Dad.  They threw it over the fence and ran."

"Why?"  He sat down to sip his coffee and look at the letter.  He ignored the check, reading her words of desire, want, and please come sex me up.   He shook his head, handing it to Dean.   "I don't want that."

Dean looked at the check and choked.  "Xander," he wheezed.  John pounded on his back. "Dude," he said, waving it.

John took it to look at and paled.  "I've never seen a paycheck that big."

Xander looked at him.  "If I take it that means I'm going to have to go sex her up and I don't know her."

"The sheriff does," John said smugly.  "She decided you could only like bad girls so she went to break into the pawn shop last night."  Xander put his head down with a groan.  "Five more days, Xander."

"Damn me," he muttered.

"I might be able to do that for you," Sam quipped, earning a dirty look from his father.  "If he wants."

Xander looked at him.  "I figure I'm already halfway there. Why make them have happies already?  Let them anticipate it a bit longer," he shot back.

Sam laughed, taking the check, which made him choke.  "Damn.  I could start a scholarship with this."

"Go sleep with her," Xander said.

"Not my type probably."  He carefully went to hand it to Daniel, who moaned at that.   "Xander said he didn't want it because he'd have to sex her up."

Daniel looked at him.  "Not really.  She killed herself in her cell when the deputies taunted her about not having him behind bars."  Xander looked over at him.  "She did."

"Then that should go back to her estate," Xander told him.

"We'll see what we can do," Daniel promised, shaking his head as he put the check into his pocket.  At least he had never been hit with this curse.  He was so proud of not being hit with this curse.  Jack either because it would've driven Hammond nuts.  More nuts than usual anyway.

***

Daniel walked into Xander's current portal.  "Bad news, Xander."  He flinched. "She left a suicide note saying she wanted you to have the money no matter what.  She has no other family.  I talked to the sheriff and she was slightly deranged."

"Duh," Street said dryly.

Daniel shot him a look then looked at Xander again.  "So it's yours."

"I don't want it," he whined.

"Then use it to hype the girls' college fund, Xander."

"Yes, Daniel.  Did you put it into the bank account you had started for me?"

"Yes.  Because you mess up the bookkeeping around here if I don't."  He pinched him on the arm.  "House thinks he found a replacement."

"Do I have to beat him?"

"We're not sure yet."  He smirked.  "Where's the other one?"

"I sent it back."

"Fine.  That's a good idea.  Dean did too.  Speaking of, need more hands to finish this one?  It's been eight hours."

Xander looked around then nodded.  "Yeah, we could use it."

"I'll let them know."  He walked out and looked at Calleigh.  "They're on trunk level four of this current portal and look like they've barely started.  It's been eight hours, Calleigh."

"Let me get dinner and I'll help."  He nodded at that, leaving her alone.  She looked in.  "Eight hours?"

"This is the fourth stuffed portal," Street said.  "There's at least another two settings on the crystal from this morning's test.  We're going to be here all night."

"Let me have dinner.  I'll be back."

"Bring us food?" Xander pleaded.  "Before the girls decide I'm going to die of starvation and pounce?  They'll drag us in there in chains and we don't need that tonight."

"I can do that," she agreed, going to tell the cook that and get her own dinner.  "Guys, Xander and Street are in their same portal.  They're on the fourth setting of the crystal and have two more."

"Fuck," Hondo muttered.  "All artillery?"

"This one looks like it."  She sat across from him.  "No idea.  They're just getting started on this one."

"We'll bring them dinner and dive in to help."  He shook his head, getting back to eating.  He'd need it to keep going.  Bobby came over to sit and talk with her about what they'd found so far.  "You found a SCUD system?" he asked, nearly choking.

"Three hours ago," Calleigh agreed.

"What were they planning?  World War three *and* four?"

"With demons, it's possible this was part of the spring apocalypse," she admitted.  "We have no idea what this spring's is going to be but we think it'll be bad."

He whimpered. "Damn."

"Yeah, but Xander handles those."

He gave her a look.  "Aren't you on his team now?"  She went a bit pale then nodded.  "Wear body armor."

"I plan on it."  She dug in, getting seconds and handing Bobby more.   "We need to bring them dinner too."  They nodded and finished up so they could bring the poor guys dinner.  They dug in while the others spelled them on the weapons count.  By midnight they were done with that portal system.  It had slowed the work but that was fine.  It had to be done.

***

Xander came out of the last one, getting a back pat from John.  "Did I miss something important?"

"Parent teacher conference.  I told her you were involved on a case.  She frowned but said she'd talk to you when you were done."

"Bad?"

"No, not bad.  Annabelle's still bored."

"Did we point out she likes science?"

"I did and we're going to rearrange her schedule again."  That got a grin.  "You done?"

"Two more things," he said, going to put his forms with the other ones in the notebook, then close down that portal once they were sure it was empty of their stuff.  Then he flopped down.  "How in the hell are we destroying all this?" he asked.

"Calleigh, the ATF guys, and Bobby have been going over that while Hondo makes plans for transport."

"Can Dawn help?"

"She can and volunteered.  He's not sure how she can help.  Are we unloading them or simply dumping the portals in?"

"I'm not sure if you do it that way that someone can't find a new way in."

"How likely is it?" Street asked.

Xander shrugged. "No idea."  That got a nod.  "Ask Dawn to ask her teachers or to ask Angel if he can ask someone.  That might get a faster answer."  He went to do that while Xander put his feet up.  "Anything else I missed?"

"Anna's birthday?" he said patiently.

"I snuck in and left her present on her bed," he admitted.

"She got it.  She had to rescue it from Faith the next morning."  That got a grin.  Faith and Anna teased each other mercilessly.  "She adored it and she'll hug you later."

"That works for me."  He checked his watch.  "Two days until Halloween.  Any idea if we're having problems?"

"We think so but we're not sure what," he admitted.  "Something pretty minor we heard from Angel."

"Okay.  Do we need something?"

"Patience.  He said something about the traditional meaning.  I haven't tried to decode it all yet.  Morgan gave it in California College Girl speak."

"The veil's the thinnest and the dead come back to check on their loved ones," Xander said quietly.  "So we'll see ghosts."

"I'll tell the boys you think it'll be that."  Xander nodded, standing up.  "You okay?"

"I slept in that one last night."  That got a nod.  "I need coffee badly."  John laughed, letting him get some caffeine before he went to the office.  "We're done," he said proudly.  "And I got an update from John."  He sipped his coffee, taking the open seat so he could put his feet up on Danny's plant stand.  That got an odd look.  "I slept in there.  I deserve it."

"Don't kill my plants, Xander."  Xander nodded.  "Can Dawn move them?"

"She did the one we handed over to LA ATF last year."  He took another drink, looking at the ATF guys.  "Where are we dumping them?"

"Do we have to unload them?"

"I'm not certain that someone can't make a backdoor even if you destroy the sheet," Xander admitted.  "Did we call Angel?"

"I asked Wesley and Thomas.  Wesley said he would.  Thomas said there's two books.  He'll look and we'll know by tonight."  Xander nodded with a yawn.  "You okay?" he teased.

"Fine.  I'll nap tonight in my own bed.  It'll be more comfortable than a shelf."  Street snickered.  "I know I could've pulled the case out to nap on but it was lumpy and harder."  He looked over at Gibbs as he came in.  "Did the paperwork give anything?"

"Another six points that the ATF took over since they were human and one demon DiNozzo's team went to take down.  They taunted him that he was pretending to be you.  Tony smarted back to tell them weren't worthy of you; they pouted all the way to the prison.  Jackson, big whig pulling up to the gate a minute ago.  Government plates."

"What now?" he complained, calling down there.  "Who was it?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  I am there with everyone else."  He hung up.  "Your boss," he told the ATF agent.  He called Thomas.  "Any idea yet on the backdoor?"  He nodded. "Thanks."   He hung up.  "He read a section to Angel who asked one of them and said they could make a back door to any portal but that would be considered poaching a client.  He asked if it would matter if they were destroyed by the government and the demon said no but it was more likely they'd do it since it would be considered a new client."

"So we have to unload them," Hondo said.  Xander nodded.  "Do you guys do this a lot?"

"One big dealing case a year it seems," Xander admitted, finishing his coffee.  An older man stomped in.  "Hey.  How are we sorting them out?  We're about out of spare agent weapons," he told Daniel.

"None of the ones we ran the serial number on are used or stolen. That means we can confiscate some for that purpose and our apocalypse vault."

"We've only taken out four things and we can fit a total of ten more cases in there.  We definitely don't need the SCUD system."

"You found one of those?" the head of the ATF demanded.

Xander looked at him and nodded. "Yeah and the CSI who looked it over thinks it'll work too."  The man moaned, sliding into the seat his agent vacated.  "We need to input the log pages so it can be copied into the file."

"Already done.  I had Abby scan them in," Gibbs told him.  Xander grinned at him.  "It'll print fine and the originals can come back after we've sorted and destroyed."  That got a group of nods.  "Do you need help with that part?  Taylor and Caine know how dump runs go."

"Could," Daniel admitted.  "Usually we portal to an ATF office and hand it over."  The head of the ATF gave him an odd look.

"I did the last time, to the LA office," Xander agreed, putting his cup down beside him.  He carefully removed his feet from the plant stand and turned his chair around, leaning over with a groan to pull out Daniel's middle desk drawer to put his feet up on.  "My back  was to them," he said at Daniel's amused look.  "Besides, they're swollen."

"Need another vacation?" Daniel teased, though he knew the non DCIS people would think it was a threat.

"Yeah, but Sheppard said I can't go back to my temple for a while because they decided I showed up in the wrong spot."

"You're Jewish?" Paul's partner asked.  "I didn't know that."

"No, I'm pagan but during my last real vacation I found a few people who decided I'm a god."  He grinned.  "Part of that D&D game in Las Vegas if you've heard of it."

"Interesting."  He shook his head quickly when his boss glared at him.  "It sounds like it is, sir."

"I'm sure it was."

"Hmm.  Swords, sorcery, drinking games, tavern wenches," Xander said with a grin.  "I had tons of fun."  The head of the ATF rolled his eyes.

"We got a peace treaty thanks to that," Gibbs said.  The head of the ATF shuddered.  "Want me to get Caine?"

"His disposal runs seem to turn into problem events," the head of the ATF said dryly.

"Not his fault Miami's full of thugs who want guns and drugs," Gibbs shot back.  He got a dirty look so he smirked.  "Yes, I work here for the ISC now."

"You're a watcher?" he demanded.

"Yup.  He's got one girl who's nearly aged out, one of the mid-range teenagers, and one of our youngest.  He's doing an amazing job ignoring people who think I'm Kryptonian."

Gibbs smirked.  "I did ask that question earlier.  Wesley gave me a horrified look."  He leaned out of the office.  "Taylor?"  He came walking in.  "Disposal runs?"

"I've handled a few.  How many do we have?"

"I forgot the notebook," Xander moaned.  He stood up with a groan but the delivery fairy brought it in.  "Thank you, Herman.  I needed that."  It smiled and left again.  He tossed over the notebook.

"Blank sheets?" Mac asked hopefully.

"Few," Xander agreed.  He sat down and put his feet up again, getting swatted by Danny for it.  Then Daniel looked at his feet.  "I'm fine."

"Did you trip?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine."

"Go see House."

"I'm fine," Xander said more firmly, staring him down.  "It's only a sprain, boss.  Really."  Gibbs pulled him up and down to the infirmary.  "I'm still fine!"

"You're setting a bad example for the girls."

"They know they can't."

"I don't care."  He shoved him in, watching him limp.

"That little peeing problem again?" House asked without looking up from what he was working on.

"No, I tripped over an artillery case and turned my ankle.  I was elevating it but Gibbs got pushy."

"If you don't take care of those things, Anna won't either."  He walked off, going to help with this current issue.  He saw Mac's amused look.  "Good news?"

"Xander marked a wish list.  That might help us breaking it up.  Which disposal site are we using?"

"LVPD let us borrow a lab tech," Street said.

"And you guys are LA," Mac added.  "That should be safe enough do it that way.  Any way we can destroy the realms without endangering future portals?"

"Angel asked.  They can make a backdoor and they wouldn't consider it a bad thing since the portals would be destroyed," Daniel told him.  "That sounds like we'll have to unload it first."

"We need to make sure nothing's from a military storehouse," Mac offered.  "I know Abby, Calleigh, and Horatio have been."

"So far Abby said only three things have come up as stolen," Gibbs told him.

"Good to know.  How far in is she?"

"She's taking about five sheets per day.  Calleigh and Horatio the same.  She put a purple dot in the bottom corner if she's searched that page."

Mac looked then nodded.  "Okay.  So we'll finish the search, let the people plan the dispo run, then we'll have to unload them."

"That's going to be some backbreaking work."

"Can one of the demons that makes the portal empty it without sending the weapons somewhere?" Gibbs asked.  Daniel shrugged, making a note.  "If so that could help."

"Saves us muscle strain," Xander agreed as he snuck back in.  "Unless we can talk Jack into giving us his SL people for a few days."  He sat and put his feet back up, getting a look from Daniel.  "I'm fine and I knew I was fine.  You fuss like the girls."

Gibbs smirked.  "That's mean, kid."

"Yay.  And?" he shot back.  The head of the ATF gave him a dirty look.  "What?  You want to move over three thousand pieces of artillery?"

"No," he said, looking away from him.  "Gibbs, what do you suggest?"

"I like the kid's suggestion.   No way am I moving that many heavy artillery cases."

Xander nodded.  "I'd need a good rest before then."

"We could bucket line it," Hondo suggested.

Xander shook his head.  "Most of the cases need two people to lift or carry."

"The girls?" Daniel suggested quietly.

"Would kill us all," Gibbs assured him.  "Especially if they didn't get to pet any."  All the ATF agents gaped in horror at him.  "The slayers become weapon nuts for the most part once they reach fifteen.  They help their teachers and the rest of us clean weapons."

"They're to learn weapons," Xander told him.

"Are they going into military service once they're of age?" the head of the ATF sneered.

Xander stared him down.  "They lose their powers at twenty-three and if any want to go into the military, they have ample opportunity to find Daniel and ask him. Or ask Gibbs or John, who was also a Marine.  A few of them have been recruited for Daniel's old project already and they volunteered to go.  The rest will have whatever sort of normal life they want," he said cooly, continuing to stare him down.  Paul broke between them. "I'm not going to hurt him, Paul."

"You're still a scary bitch over the girls, Xander."

Xander nodded.  "Conscription sucks," he said bluntly.  "If they try, we're moving the girls.  Dawn shouldn't have any problem."

"Agreed," he assured him.  "It's a bad thing.  We'd help.  Just... please?" he begged.  Xander shrugged a bit so Paul moved.  "Sir, baiting Xander is a bad idea when he's already in a foul mood.  He was trained to assist and hunt with the slayers.  He's an eight- year combat veteran before he got to DCIS.  There's a reason he gets the worst cases."  That got a nod from his boss.  He gave Gibbs a pleading look.

"Should we split this up now and then plan the dispo run?" Gibbs asked.  "Your wishlist isn't too bad, kid, but there's better handguns listed."

"I could only go on what I saw, but I'll gladly pick new ones for agent guns."  He looked at Daniel.  "If that's all right?"

"That's fine with me, Xander.  You know that.  Don't overload our closet in case something breaks in."

Xander snorted.  "If they do, I'm so blowing them back to a hell of their choice."

Daniel smiled.  "Good to know."  He looked at Gibbs.  "How do you think it's best done?"

"Take the heavier artillery that no one should need, short of world war three or four, and destroy it now.  Including the scud system if it was bought legitimately."  They all nodded.  "LVPD should let us dump through them since we got their help with the count."

"Bobby said he'd run a special dispo run," Mac agreed.  "I texted him."

"So let's do that first, then worry about the others.  We can check the bigger things easier.  If someone had stolen something that big, every agency would've heard about it by now."

"Especially the ATF," Paul agreed.  "We can check the list pretty easily."  Calleigh leaned in.  "Need the notebook?"

"Please.  Xander, did you bag up your last one?"

"Yeah, I did.  Why?"

"The cage is open."

Xander frowned, getting up to deal with that.  He counted bags.  "We have two missing."  They went to look, finding one next to George, who had stunned the intruder.  The other...  Well, Dawn and Annabelle were casually beating the floating, screaming woman begging to be let down.  "Ladies, cuffs?"

"Don't have any," Dawn called, letting her thump down.  Annabelle knocked her out, making Gibbs come take the stick from her.  "She wanted a pinata for her birthday," she said when Gibbs gave her a dirty look.

"We can get her one with candy in it.  She doesn't need to express the violent urges."

"Yes, Gibbs," she said, giving him a hug.  "I'll try really hard."  She smiled.  "But I did good.  There's another bag missing and it went with the guy in the blue sedan."

"I told the guards, they're chasing him down," Dawn told him.  "George got the other one when it tripped over him."

Xander leaned down to take the mask off the guy.  "Anyone know him?"

Gibbs looked then shrugged.  "Maybe."

Tony came strolling out.  "It's one of our stupid arms dealers.  Pity."  He kicked him awake.  "Good morning!  How does it feel to have been beaten by a shrub demon who can't even talk?"  George rattled his leaves.  "I know you're very smart, George, but he doesn't believe anything's as smart as he is."

"Can we let Binky horn him up the backside?" Annabelle asked.

Gibbs stared at her.  "Where did you get that idea?"

"She keeps trying to get under Abby's skirt.  Maybe she'd like a boy to compare to."

Gibbs shook his head, walking off moaning a bit.  Xander looked at her.  "Not cute."

She beamed.  "Yes I am."

"Not this time you weren't.  Go apologize to your Watcher."  She ran off to hug him and make him feel better.  He hauled the guy up to stare at him.  "How stupid are you?" he asked, looking amused.  "To come here and break into our base?  Gods, man, you should be a Darwin nominee."  Tony snickered at that.  "Really."  He handed him over.  "Fortunately we do have the prison for people just like you."  Dawn floated the other one over and Xander went to talk to the guards.  "Did we get him?"

"State police pulled him over a minute ago, Xander," the head guard reported, coming out of the guard shack.  "They'll bring him and his car back here."

"Thank you.  The bag?"

"Still there."

"Even better.  Let us know.  The other two we're going to let the demons have as sex toys."  He walked off whistling.  "Hey, boss, can we put them in the demon wing so they can discover demonic butt sex?" he asked, making Daniel choke and Mac moan.  "They apparently seem to think they're so hot.  Let them prove it."

"Not a good idea," Daniel told him.  Xander pouted.  "No, Xander.  We don't encourage prisoner fraternization."

"Pity.  Faith might like that."  Dawn swatted him. "Ow!  Heathen!"

"Shut up.  Go take a nap."  She knocked him out and let someone take him back to the infirmary.  "Don't make us fuss over him and you guys.  You won't like it when we tie you down."  She walked off to help Gibbs and Annabelle.

Jim Street coughed.  "The girls are kind of scary, sirs."

Hondo nodded.  "It was nice one was sneaking in to make us cocoa last night too."

Daniel moaned.  "They're teenage girls.  If you're missing personal items let us know.  They've panty raided half the base," he said quietly, making the guys laugh.

Paul looked over.  "Seriously.  They prove they have very good stealth training."  That got a dual smirk and a nod.  "Missing some?"

"We had cocoa when we caught them," Street promised.  "They seemed decent."

"Must've been on their best behavior," Daniel said grimly.  "Did you hand them back?"

"Someone came looking," Hondo said dryly with a smirk.

"That happens too," Paul agreed.  "John, Xander, one of the boys.  Gibbs now and then."  He walked off shaking his head.  The girls were still strange to him.  Maybe he was too sane for DCIS.  ATF had been a lot simpler.  None of his job there had caused nightmares.  His boss gave him a pointed look.  "My contract's coming due in three weeks," he said quietly.

"We could use a liaison so we don't have to see Harris ever again," he agreed quietly.  Paul grinned at that, nodding he agreed to take the spot.  "Give me a firm date, Mercer."

"Yes, sir."

"Good.  I hate to see our people ruined here.  They're very strange.  Very lax too."

"But we get the job done, sir.  That's what counts to most everyone here.  That and the agency's like a family."

"Still too lax."

"The former director at NCIS said the same thing," Daniel called over, giving him a look.  The head of the ATF shuddered.  "She came here to try to kill us.  Pity."

"Is there going to be a penalty if I want my person back to be our liaison officer?"

"No.  It's written into the contract that you can go back without penalty after two years and he doesn't have to explain anything."

That got a nod.  "That's sensible.  This job must drive you nuts."

"Now and then," Daniel agreed.  "But I've been worse places."  He smiled.  "Paul's been a great help to us."

"Agreed."  They shook hands.  "I'll want his folder."

"Of course.  You can have it today and work out his ending date with him."  That got a nod and they went back to the office to handle that.

"We get a lot of that too," Hondo sighed.  "Not everyone's cut out to be SWAT."

"Or here," Dean said as he walked over.  "It takes a flexible mind."

Street nodded.  "It'd creep me out too."  Hondo nodded he agreed.  The other guys on their team would *not* believe this.  Ever!  Especially not the walking shrub that came to nuzzle Hondo's leg before going to find a sunnier spot to rest in.

***

Xander watched as the things were shifted and split up into trucks.  ATF was handling the actual disposal.  Xander had all the guns he wanted, a few new pieces of artillery, and a lot of new portals.  He handed one to Street on his way past him then went to clean his babies.  Calleigh was so he sat down with her to go over them for defects.  They could junk anything that was bad.

She looked at him.  "You do amazing things," she said finally.

"Amazing is in the eye of the beholder," he said calmly.

"You also have superhero syndrome."

Xander looked at her.  "I had to fight the perception that I was too normal to do anything, Calleigh.  I was doing that while doing Buffy's job for her sometimes."

"Oh."  She nodded, going back to her cleaning.  That explained some things.

"I know I'm too tough for my own good but this is who I am and how I turned out.  It's not going to change.  The same as I have a rep in the demon world from my time hunting."  She nodded, looking at him.  "It's that I'll get you back if you touch those girls or one of the agents.  Especially the girls, my team, or someone that needs protecting.  That's how I get away with a lot of the stuff I do."

"I can understand that.  Horatio does the same thing now and then."  She put back together the gun she had cleaned and noted its properties and condition then put it into the box it'd be taken out of later on if and when it got assigned.  "Do I have to live up to that?"

He shrugged.  "Most of the time, Paul saw it as he was my wall to beat my head against and to give myself ideas from.  He did a lot of the manual sorting of things for me.  I tend to handle action better than I do computers and I'm completely science stupid."  He looked at her.  "That's your job."

She nodded.  "I can handle that.  What about the third member of the team?  Most of them see to have three."

"We do, she's on vacation.  She's due back next week actually."  He went back to swabbing the barrel of the one he had.  "We have burrs."  He pulled the light over to look at them.  "We can probably wire brush those down."

She took it to look at.  "You can but it'll change the rifling.  We can use a barrel from one that has other broken parts.  Make it a spare parts gun."

"That'll work."  He tagged it with that and the problem in the barrel then put it aside once it was fully back together.  He looked at her.  "Yes, now and then you will have to follow my insanity.  We don't get many cases where your CSI skills will help until the aftermath, like this last one or the one in Miami.  Most of the CSI stuff is maybe a clue or two.  Sometimes the after effects.  I'm called out because I'm a hunter.  If it's going to take those skills, and it does sometimes, then they call me for my rep and my knowledge.  I get plenty of help most of the time because they don't want to have to deal with a slayer.  You might say I'm the step below calling out a slayer."

"I can understand that," she agreed. "I know most of the agents do arrest."

"I do as often as I can," Xander assured her.  "But about half the time I get there in time to stop it and have to stop it cold or else things go bad.  Like with an ascension.  Yes, they can send the other teams out.  Horatio might get sent out on those with Mac to spare me when we have others coming.  No one else on the floor had artillery knowledge."  He gave her a sheepish, shy grin.  "Whenever they see me doing more than they think I shouldn't have to someone hires someone."

She giggled.  "I heard that.  Is this the next one?"

"We need someone in here full time.  Someone who can do the ammo, the guns, the check- ins, the range times, all that.  They've got to be able to deal with a wide range of weapons.  The same as you will.  Everyone else gets a brief sword work tutorial and then they can come back if they want, and I do suggest it.  You don't have that choice.  The same as Tony didn't."

"I understand.  It's to save my own life because if something's going to come after your team it's going to be something less than paltry."

Xander nodded.  "If that word means what I think it does, yeah."  She gave him a look.  "School is not a Xander friend.  Never was, never will be.  I do practical education so much better."

"Some people do.  I struggled through a lot of college classes.  What do we do if she doesn't come back?  Ryan said she pushed her coming back date back by another week."

Xander shrugged.  "Then we borrow or we hire.  Sometimes a pair is good enough.  Sometimes it takes a team or more.  Sometimes it takes nearly everyone."  He smiled.  "You'll do fine.  I'll train you so you can back me up if something happens in a way that's not in your original training.  After all, plenty of things are staked or beheaded."

"I'll learn.  I can't promise I'll be good at it."

Xander smirked.  "Who do you think trains the girls in sword work, Calleigh?"

She gaped.  "Oh, no.  You're over their training too?"

He smirked and nodded.  "I hired Dean and Sam to give me a break.  I was doing all their training and lessons and cases.  Plus some assorted maintenance work.  Everyone else stepped in to teach a class for me too."

She swallowed.  "I'll do my best to learn."

He smiled.  "Good.  How close to marksman are you?"

"Pretty closer.  Ninetieth percentile.  You?"

"No idea," he admitted. "I qualify and I leave before anyone gives me ideas of getting a swelled ego."  She snorted, shaking her head.  "Dean's also a weapons guy, taught by John but he's expanded on it a lot."  He checked his watch.  "Think it's safe to go back to our desks?"

"No, not yet.  Alexx is up there fussing at Tim for losing more weight."

"Tim is getting kinda anorexic looking.  Nightmares?"

"He won't tell us."

"He will tell me," he sighed.  "By the way, if you need them, we do have a base shrink."  She smiled at that.  "And a new doc team from what I heard."  He finished up and put his current gun into the box.  Dean and John walked in.  "Target practice?"

"Jackson said to come spell you.  He had more pointless paperwork for you to fill out," John said dryly.

"Anything with burrs or that's not immediately useful, tag it with the issue and put it there.  The others, put into the box."  They got up and went to see what the boss wanted.  As it turned out, ATF and SWAT wanted a better report.  They complained but got to it. This was the part of the job they hated.

***

Dean found a demon that might have some answers to the annoyance in their lives.  "Hey," he said, making her jump.  "Just questions, we're harmless today," he said, raising his hands.  "Please?"

She sniffed at him then at Xander.  "You smell like Buhova."

"What do they look like?" Xander asked.

"They are blue with five tentacles.  With the purple smaller tentacle hairs.  You killed one?"

Xander nodded.  "We found one attacking my junior year in high school.  Buffy was still off doing her thing for the summer."

Dean thought back.  "Yeah, that sounds like something I did that one week," he admitted, looking at her.  "Is that why we're drawing people to us now and then?"

She smirked.  "You have no ideas?"

"No, no one told us a thing," Xander admitted.  "Even the Watchers."

"Bah!  Stupid men with stupid morals that make no sense.  Denying yourself so that you remain pure is wrong and it taints what little purity you can find."  She sniffed them again.  "This taint, it draws things to you?"  They nodded.  "It should only come out when you need to mate.  When you go into heat."

"So, getting him laid will stop this present outburst?" Dean asked.

"I went to the temple and it didn't help," Xander reminded him.

"To cure being in heat one must have *good* relations.  Ones that fires not only the body but the mind.  Ones that you would think on later.  Ones that would lead to spawning or nesting, however you humans do it, if you so desired."

"Uah, we bear live young, not eggs," Xander said, getting an amused look.  "The only nesting women do is cleaning the house repeatedly while pregnant with our spawn."  He rubbed his left eyebrow.  "So this is going on because I need to have better than mediocre sex?"  She nodded. "Is there any other reason that might have brought it on?"

"Any stress that is too powerful to bear.  That may but it would be more intense, bringing you relief from it."

Xander bowed.  "Thank you for the answers we sought."

"You are most welcome.  May I go?  My own spawn await me."

"Thank you," Dean agreed, walking Xander off.  She fled for her car and went home to tell everyone she knew she had been talked to by the two hunters at DCIS and survived!  Dean looked at him.  "So you need laid."

"Apparently."

"Why didn't the temple do it for you?"

"Maybe because I was teaching and had to control some of the urges.  I don't know."  He got into the passenger's seat of the Impala, Dean getting in to drive.  "Who knows with my screwed up life.  Giles should've known that, right?"

"Yeah.  Dad too maybe."  They drove back to the base, cornering John in Wesley's office by the simple expedient of Dean shoving him in there and following while Xander got the door and locked it so he could call Giles as well.

"Slayer's residence," Giles said calmly.

"Giles, what's a Buhova?" Xander asked.

"Is it not in the books?"

"Haven't looked yet," he said dryly, leaning on the table.  "Blue skin, purple tentacle hair, five tentacles?  Sounding slightly familiar?"

"Yeah," John admitted.  "There's all sorts of stories about those who take them out being cursed.  Why?"

Dean swatted him on the shoulder.  "Because we both smell like them!  Why didn't you share that part too!  We heard all sorts of stories about the bad things demons could do to us but not that one!"

"Oh, dear.  I do know of that curse," Giles admitted.

"Which is now getting me chased down and hunted by every bad girl in this state," Xander said coolly.  "Some who even think I'm a prostitute and give me money for it, Giles."

"Oh, lord, no," he sighed.  "When did that happen?"

"Hmm, about the same time I got the problems the first time maybe?" he shot back.  "Like the summer after our junior year?"

"Bloody hell, I didn't even realize," he admitted, sounding tired.  "Is there a cure?"

"No, we're going to forever be wanton sluts who have this curse come out when we're in heat," Dean told him, glaring at his father.  "You couldn't pass on those rumors with the rest?"

"They were unsubstantiated.  No one had seen one of them in person for years, Dean."

"Well, gee, Dad, I found one snacking on a co-ed," he said dryly.

"I'll tell Bobby they are real and I'm sorry, son."

Dean glared.  "Anytime we're in heat, or need the stress relief that badly, or we're in such stress that it's changing our scent, it's going to come out.  The demon we talked to earlier could smell it on both of us and I'm not in heat."

"Shit," John muttered, shaking his head.

"Giles, find me a picture of this thing.  Tonight," Xander ordered.  "That way I can make sure the girls don't have the same curse and get paid money by people who want to sleep with them."  He hung up by slamming the receiver back down.  Then he looked at John, who slunk off.  "Got any clue?"

"I'd offer but I have Faith."

"Faith won't.  She knows she'll slip again, or so she says."  The fax machine came to life and spit out a picture.  Xander looked at it.  "Yup, remember her.  She was using her tentacles to please the guy she was trying to kill."  He walked it out to the slayer's sitting room, putting it down on the table.  "If you *ever* kill one of these, you will end up with the same sort of curse I've been under for the last week and a bit.  That means people will treat you like a pro and decide you're only there for the sex.  Do not take on these things.  Knock them out, bind them up, whatever.  Killing leads to a curse."   He stomped off.

"He's not happy someone decided he needed money," Faith said dryly.  "Xander, are you okay?"

"No!  Fuck no!"  He slammed the outer door.

Dean took the picture, holding it up.  "Anyone already recognize it?"  Brenda slowly raised her hand.  He looked at her.  "Did you kill it?"

"It was trying to kill me," she said, looking horrified.  "I'm not a bad girl like that."

"We know that, Brenda," John soothed as he walked in.  "If you go into this sort of issue, we'll figure out how best to help you."  He gave her a hug.  "Dean, go calm Xander down."

He snorted.  "Yeah, because going to the temple recently helped so much."  John went pale.  "Has to be better than mediocre.  The source we found said it had to be good enough that we might spawn from it and it'd have to be one of the ones we think back on fondly."

"Hell, he's screwed," Kim muttered.

"It might just take that," Dean agreed.  He took the picture with him to the squad room, posting it on the board.  "These things are what leads to curses like Xander's.  If you kill them, you too can have his problem when you go into heat or stress relief hasn't happened recently enough."

Tony cleared his throat.  "Didn't he just cure that?"

"Has to be better than mediocre," Dean snorted, giving him a look.  Tony shook his head subtly that he couldn't fill in this time.

"Should we take up a collection to get him to a Vegas whorehouse?" Eric asked.  Horatio and Stella both glared at him.  "It could help!"

"Still has to be better than mediocre," Dean reminded him.  "I don't know what sent him into heat but someone come up with a solution?"  He left, going to find his buddy.  He was curled up on top of the bullet boxes, so Dean hopped up to sit in front of him.  "You'll be fine.  I'm guessing it could be worse.  It's slowed down at least."

"Still sucks."

"No, sucks is that Brenda ran into one too."

Xander looked at him.  "Your dad's got to be groaning in misery."

"She'll figure it out like we did."  He stroked over Xander's hair because it was sticking up.  "You'll fix it and it'll be fine."

"I should go find that one heiress."

"That'd make you a pro."

"I sent the money back."

"So?  She'd probably pay you again.  And who said she'd be good enough?"

"Point."  He shifted closer to Dean's warmth.  "Maybe I should hit on Faith."

"If she'll let you," Dean agreed.  Xander grimaced.  "She might.  Extreme circumstances."

"She's convinced herself that if we do she'll go back."

"No, she won't.  I'm more badass than you are and there's no way she'd turn back."  Faith leaned in.  "He was suggesting he hit on you to cure this."

"That'd be a fun bed but sorry, X.  You know we'd never get that hot together.  Memories would cloud things."  Xander nodded at that.  "Want to go find a club?"

"No.  I still suck at that," Xander admitted.  He looked at her.  "Know anyone?"

"Not right off the top of my head," she admitted.  "Go back to the temple, go wear yourself out without teaching."

"I can't.  I set it up that I'd teach."

She grimaced.  "Damn.  Pop a final exam?"

Xander gave her an odd look.  "Still probably can't.  Half the ones I see are about to be married."

"Eww.  Bad thing then."  She came in to lean next to Dean.  "Hmm.  If this were Boston or LA I'd know someone.  Even Cleveland."  She stood up straighter.  "I could call her.  See if Little D'll send us."

"It's ten at night," Dean said quietly.

"Crap."  She checked her watch.  "Which means it's nearly midnight out there.  Like vamps?" she teased with a smirk.

"Hell no.  Do I look like I wanted to do Angel too?"

She giggled.  "No.  That was very clear."  She stroked over his hair then shrugged.  "No idea then.  One of the girls would."

"I'd end up teaching, Faith.  I need the good stuff."

"The kind that leaves you scratched in the morning," Dean agreed.

"Nah, it's better when the bed breaks," Xander said dryly.  They stared at him.  "Yes I have, thank you."  He sat up.  "That's an idea."  He slid off the crate and went to talk to Dawn.  She followed him to his place to shower and change.  He knew a place where he could meet someone who would let him let it go for a bit.  She sent him once he was ready and walked out of the alley, heading over to a club.  The bouncer gave him a horrified look.  "Stress relief," he muttered, flashing his membership card.  The bouncer let him inside, watching him make a direct path to one woman sitting in a corner. The bouncer shuddered but let him walk to his own death.  Not his business.  Xander looked at her.  "Hey," he said quietly.

"You have balls."

Xander stared at her.  "It's my duty and my job to take the bad ones out.  You know that.  You knew that then.  You told me you knew that then."

"True."  She stared at him.  "What happened?"

"An older curse reenacted when I apparently needed stress relief too much."  She cackled.  He smirked and nodded as he sat down.  "People have been sending me money and presents to get with them."

"That's pitiful."

"Very."  He looked at her.  "You know damn well I wanted you out of there that night."

"He was my boyfriend, Xander."

"That's why I suggested you go shop," he shot back, earning a swat.  "What?  All the women I know shop."

"You work with shallow creatures."

"No, I work with slayers," he said bluntly.  She dropped her glass, staring at him.  He pulled out his ID for the Council, holding it up.  "Like I said, it was my duty."

She slumped.  "Then you had no choice."

"Not with him hunting, no.  I'm sorry I had to."

She nodded, cleaning up her mess a bit.  "Then I understand and forgive you."

He smiled.  "Thank you."

"But I'm still not helping you with stress relief."

"Not needed.  I wanted you to pick someone for me.  If I do it I'll end up having to fight for my life because I'm drawing bad girls.  Seven of them in one afternoon in a mall.  Two with bombs.  One decided to make me shop with her so I'd be pretty for her funeral."  She gaped in horror at him.  He nodded.  "Pick me someone who I can have at least better than average sex with?  Please?"

"I can do that."  She patted his hand with a smile.  "Are you going to come back more often?"

"If I don't get eaten."  He turned and smacked the person behind him on the head.  "Eyes off my neck or I'm bringing my girls with me."  The vampire turned back around quickly.  He looked at her, noticing she had vamped out.  "So?"  He shrugged.  "Are you going to try to eat me too?"

"No.  You taste strange."

"Mermaid taint from my junior year."  He grimaced.  "We had to find out why the swim team was turning into creatures."

"God, you really did grow up in Sunnydale."

Xander smirked and nodded.  "Yeah, all my life until about two weeks before it fell in.  I was sent with the young and helpless to evacuate them."

"She yell?" she asked dryly.

"And tried again later when I showed up for injured ones.  Then again when she woke up too.  We have it straightened out.  She's in Cleveland with Giles and his consuming passion to rebuild the Council."

"At least someone's dealing with the girls."

"Wes and me."

She stared.  "He's...."

"Rebuilding the Council."

"Oh, hell, Xander."

"Yup."  He smirked.  "Willow just got busted by the FBI for hacking our utility companies for the base and having them shut off on us."  She whimpered.  "Yeah.  Why I need stress relief."

She moaned.  "Damn."

"Very.  So it's either sex according to the curse or I need a lot of stress relief."

"It'd be easier if all you wanted was a fight," she offered.

"Let me have sex first.  It's been a long month."

"I heard."  She smirked and pointed at one girl, who came rushing over.  "This one is under a Buhova's curse."

She snickered.  "What did you do?" she asked dryly.

"Found it attacking someone.  White Knight tendencies, yee haw," he said sarcastically, shooting her a look.  She moaned and shifted closer.  "Not in front of everyone.  It might give me performance anxiety and my rep would never be great again."  He walked her off to the back rooms.  He even let her pounce.  It was definitely going to be better than good.  When he was limp, sated, and tired, she left, letting him catch ten minutes of sleep.  When he got up, he redressed, pulled his axe out of his pocket to hold in his hand in case he needed it, and walked out into the ambush.  It was pitiful how the vampires had taken over one of his favorite clubs.  The axe expanded and a few people shuddered.  One even ran.  Pity.  The rest hissed and attacked.  So he finally got the stress relief he needed.

The bouncer looked at Xander as he walked out, blinking at him dusting himself off.  "Are you all right, sir?"

"Kinda tired," he admitted, looking at him. "But in a good way.  Let's hope no more bad girls come for me."  He looked at one coming up the street, whispering the shrinking incantation again.  It went into his pocket and the woman smirked at him before staring over his body.  "Evening, ladies."  She smirked harder.  He shrugged.  "What can I say?  It's still early.  Not enough in there to hold my interest."  Her friend moved to his other side and he took his wallet back.  "Not nice to pickpocket Feds."  They moaned and attacked his mouth.  He let them.  It wasn't too bad.  The alley was close by and they were good enough.  He made sure he had everything before leaving, having to come back for his axe.  "Naughty yous."  He smirked as he walked back through the portal.  "Morning, girls!" he shouted.  He checked his watch.  "Isn't it time for runs!"

"Must've been good enough," Faith said dryly as she came down the stairs.  "It's five, Xander."

"Morning runs," he said simply.

"Fuck.  In the snow?"

"Yeah!  Do you think all battles are fought in nicely heated areas?"  She moaned, going to get the girls up to go for their runs before breakfast and school.  Xander went to his place, finding Dean in the halls.  "I'm better now."

"Good!  Why are you dusty?"

"Vamps took over one of my favorite clubs.  I got decent enough sex first and then the pickpocket twins after."  He went into his apartment.  "I got the girls up," he said before closing his door.

Dean blinked.  "That's bad, Xander," he called.

"Yes I am!" he called, then he cackled.

"Ah, he's back," Dean sighed, walking off to help get the girls up for their morning runs.  That might be a good sign but it might not.  He'd have to see how grumpy Xander was this morning.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Ghosts of the Past.

Dean was walking out of the slayer's dorm when he looked up at his row of the married quarters building.  "What is that?" he muttered, seeing a glow from Xander's apartment.  "Candles?" he decided, heading that way.  John came out.  "Hey, Dad, is that candles in Xander's place?"

"Aw, shit," he muttered.  "We told everyone how to do the salt wards but him?" he said.

"Um,  he was doing a wellness check with Anna in the infirmary.  I thought you told him!"

"No, I thought you or Sammy did."

"Not me."  They went to check on Xander.  The moan from their apartment made them divert.  Sam was in a broken salt ring talking to his former girlfriend.  "Hey, Sammy?" Dean asked quietly.

"Guys, they're not going to hurt us.  If there's pain, it's emotional pain."  He looked at her and smiled.  "You never did get to meet my dad.  Dad, this is Jess."

She turned to look at him.  "Pleasure, Mr. Winchester."

He smiled, waving a bit.  "Nice to meet you too, Jess.  Wish it had been the normal way."  She smiled and nodded, bobbing some.  "We're not going to do anything bad?"

"I'm certainly not.  If the others have ideas, that's their problem."

"Good point.  Dean, go check on Xander."  He went to do that, coming back shaking his head.  "He's not home?"

"Door was open.  Ghosts gone, no Xander."

"He's headed for the big building and all the shiny lab equipment," she said happily.  "Some of his former friends showed up too."  She hovered lower, seeming to sit across from Sam.  "I do miss you.  I'm pretty bored without you teasing me."

He grinned.  "Me too."

She reached over to smooth down some hair.  "If you spend the next thirty years moping over me, I'm going to kick your butt, Sam.  I'll start sending you really nasty visions of whorehouses," she said quietly.  He blushed, ducking his head down to give her a sheepish look.  "Seriously.  I don't want that."  He nodded at that order.  "Good boy.  You're such a good boy most of the time.  That's why all the little girls up the walkway think you're cute."  He blushed brighter red, making her giggle.

Dean and John backed out.  John sat down further back to deal with her just in case something happened.  Dean went to check on Xander.

***

Xander frowned at the spirits next to him.  "What?" he asked, sounding cranky.  "You guys keep interrupting my sleep. They all think I'm bitchy around here because of how many times I never get to sleep."

Andrew gave him a look.  "You can sleep tomorrow!  Someone needs to follow in my brilliant footsteps.  Me and Johno both."  He floated closer.  "If no one does, then the geek's universe is closed and no one'll ever survive."

He sighed, getting out of bed.  He apparently needed clothes for this.  "More anime?"

"No, we were going to show you how to build some things we had planned."  He grinned.  "Please, Xander?"

"Science isn't my strong suit, Andrew."

"So?  You can build it without science.  You do good enough with the robot stuff."  He floated closer.  "Please?"

"Fine."

Andrew lunged into him and through him, then Jonathan snuck his way through too, leaving a little bit of themselves with their plans in him.  "See, not so bad."

"If I end up on the possession ward again, the girls are going to fuss and banish you two painfully."

"We know," Jonathan said, smirking at him.  "We'll take that risk.  Someone has to follow in our footsteps.  You're the only geek we trust and know."

"Fine."  He headed to the R&D lab, going to gather what they wanted him to build.  He fell into a near trance once he started.  They were guiding him and it was good.  It'd mean their life's work was done and they could rest peacefully.

Anya floated in and pouted.  "Why can't I have my time with him?" she demanded.

"Because our life's work needs to be completed," Andrew told her firmly.  He swatted her.  "Besides, you could visit more often, you just don't."

"Dawn put up a barrier."

"Is it down?" Abby asked as she came in.

"Oops," Anya said.  She smirked.  "Only for tonight."

"Uh-huh."  She went to tell the guards that then came back to monitor what Xander was doing.  Jonathan ran a hand over her head and she got into the building frenzy too.  She could fill in the gaps Xander had in his experience.  They'd work well together.

When Dean came in, they got him too since he clearly knew what they were trying to do.  "Why does that look like a light saber?" Dean asked.  They lunged through him and he went to help.  He had to help now.

"You're taking all the cute ones," Anya complained.

"Go find his current girlfriend," Andrew suggested.  "That way you can make sure she's good to him."

"He doesn't have one.  Dawn's guarded so I can't talk to her.  I don't want to talk to Faith either."  She pouted.  "I should sulk."

"You do it very well," Andrew said, giving her a hug.  "You can have him back later on."

She pouted, going to bother the others she could feel.  They needed to appreciate her Xander bunny more often.  She found Stella and Calleigh watching a movie and went to talk to them.  They were women, they'd understand why she wanted Xander to still be hers and do kinky things for her viewing pleasure.

***

John watched as Jess finally faded, going over to hug his son.  "You good?" he asked quietly.  Sam shook his head.  "Go to bed, son."

"I should find Dean.  He never came back."

"He's with Xander.  Go to bed.  I'll ward your bed for you."  He helped Sam up and walked him into his room, laying him down and putting salt around his bed to protect him.  He turned and found Anya there.  "You look familiar."

"I'm Xander's.  Even the women don't understand us."  She pouted.  "I'm not mean anymore."

John gave her a look.  "Which women did you talk to?"

"The blonde and the one with the curly hair."

"Stella and Calleigh are both officers, Anya," Sam told her.  "They don't do the need- driven stuff."

"Poo."  She floated closer, stopping at the barrier then crossed over it, making John moan.  She smirked.  "I'm not the usual spirit."  She settled on the foot of Sam's bed.  "Would you watch out for my Xander bunny for me?"

"I thought you had a bunny phobia," he teased lightly.

"Well, I do, but he's very bouncy and he has a cute, twitchy nose when he grins, and he's evil enough to be a bunny."  John laughed at that.  "He is!"

"He can be," Sam agreed.  She smiled at him.  He could see what Xander saw in her.  "Tell me about you two, Anya.  Most of the time we only understand half of Xander."

She nodded, settling in better to tell him what she had told the girls.

John settled into a corner to watch over his son yet again.  Another spirit floated in but had to move off at the wards so at least they were holding.  He hoped.

***

Daniel looked up at the ghost floating above him.  "I didn't know you were dead, Jack."

"Banged on the head.  Probably just out of my body.  Now I can see why you liked it so much."  He looked at the salt then at him.  "Can I cross?"

"Sure."  He let him across then closed the ring again.  "Let me call the infirmary."  He did that.  "It's Daniel Jackson.  Is Jack okay?" he asked when he heard a familiar voice.  "No, his ghost is here.  He thinks he's out of his body at the moment.  I'm making sure he's not dead."  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Hopefully tomorrow."  He hung up.  "You're still living."

Jack smiled.  "I figured I'd know."  He settled himself down.  "So what is this?"

"Halloween.  The veil's the thinnest and the spirits come to check up on their former friends and family.  It's a minor fall apocalypse."

"Wonderful," Jack said dryly.  "At least I wasn't off world doing this."

"True.  None of the ones who died in any of the battles near us showed up yet."

"Another good point."  He shifted.  "This is kinda strange.  I feel like I'm sinking into the bed."

"You are."

"Ah.  Why does salt work?"

Daniel shrugged.  "No idea.  John told us what to do."

"I like Winchester.  He's a stand-up guy most of the time I guess.  He's got fierce dad syndrome over the girls to keep them from being brats.  He's not too bad."  He shifted again and floated above the bed slightly.  It kept the bed from sucking him in again.  "So, how you been?"

"I've been good.  The dispo runs for the weapons Xander's team got went well.  The ATF took back their agent that we had hired.  He decided he was too sane for here.  That meant Calleigh moved to Xander's team and he's training her."  Someone pounded on his door.  "I'm all right."

"Sir, the lab's sensors just went off.  We've got a small energy discharge that way."

"Who's up there?" he called, sitting up better.

"The cameras show Scuito, Harris, and Dean Winchester, sir."

"They all tinker.  As long as they're not hurt it should be fine."

"Any idea what it was?" Jack called.

"No, sir.  Though I saw something like a play light saber."

"That could be what happened," Daniel said.  "Monitor it and get me up if something major happens."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you," Jack called.

"Um, sir, we didn't register a visitor."  Jack floated through the door, making the guard go pale.  "Oh, hey.  You're gone?"

"No.  Out of my body," he said with a smirk.  "Too big a bang on the head again."

"Oh."

"Danny said he enjoyed it so I thought I'd try it too."

The guard nodded and walked off still nodding.  He nodded all the way back to the security office to tell his boss and take some tylenol from his desk before sitting down in front of the monitors.

Jack floated back in there and settled on the foot of the bed again, getting comfortable.  He stared at Daniel for a minute.  "We need cards.  This side is really boring."

"It can be, yeah," Daniel said with a grin.  "I still have to sleep sometime tonight, Jack."

"I know.  Pity."  He leaned down to run a hand over his friend's head.  "I can see the block they put up.  Huh."

"If I go insane because you touch it, you can't put me back in the asylum," he joked.

"Yeah, sure, you betcha, I can do that."  He reached into his friend's head and wiggled, making him hiss before passing out.  "I guess it worked."  He finished wiggling it and removed it about halfway.  It was all he could do but at least his buddy would have some of his old memories back.

***

Mac looked up and around.  He wasn't being visited apparently.  He wasn't sure if that was good or bad news.  He had wanted to see Claire.  He really wanted to talk to her.  But she wasn't showing up.  Maybe she had moved on?  He heard Stella let out a girlish scream and hopped out of his bed, grabbing his weapon on the way to her apartment.  He found the ghost in there and fired at her, making her dissipate and head off.  "You ladies all right?" he asked.

"She was the most pushy ghost I've ever seen," Calleigh told him.  "She was complaining that she couldn't have her Xander anymore for orgasms.  Not sex, not love, not cuddles, orgasms," she said hotly.

"Xander said Anya was blunt and like sex a lot," Danny said as he leaned in.  "Anya, you okay?"  She faded in and nodded, smirking at him.  "Why aren't you bothering Xander or Dawn?  Or even Buffy in Cleveland with Willow?"

"Dawn's got a bigger protection going," she said with a pout.  "The geek boys have Xander."  She floated closer.  "You think I could see Buffy?"

"Don't know, go try.  She's with the slayers in Cleveland."

She beamed.  "Thank you for that suggestion. You're adorable!  I would've tried to jump you when I was human."  She faded out again.  She ignored the mean one.

Danny poked Mac on the arm.  "Would you mind coming and talking to your former wife since she's chatting with Don?"

Mac moaned.  "Why?"

"No clue, Mac.  I was on my way to get you when Stella screamed."

"She was talking about torturing people and wanting sex," she defended.

"Uh-huh.  Dawn said that's what she was like as a human if you didn't look real deep."  He gave her a look.  "You two okay?  Cute jammies by the way."  They covered up with the couch throw and he walked Mac off to find his former wife.  "Hey, Don, they're fine.  Found Mac too."  He noticed Mac put his gun down on the table he usually put keys on before walking back to the bedroom.  "There you go, Claire."

"Thank you, Daniel.  You're so adorable."  She pinched his cheek, getting a blush.  "Let me take my pouting thing into the other room so you two can get some sleep.  It's going to be a long few days figuring out how to get the one boy out of the lab since the two with him wanted him to complete their life's work."

"Xander?" Don asked.  "Dark hair, kinda tense now and then?  Mouthy?"

"Yes, him.  He's with the cute goth girl in her flying bat pajamas and the one cute one with the shotgun he's not using."

"Probably Dean," Danny said, looking out the window toward the main building.  "Yup, silvery glow.  Wonder if John knows his son's possessed."

"If we tell 'im, he'll go pounce," Don warned.

"Good point."  He climbed back into bed, watching Mac and Claire go talk in the other room.  "Why come here?" he asked quietly.

"News of the translation goof reached the other side," Don said dryly.  "She said as long as we're good to him...."  He trailed off at the groan and Danny hiding his face in Don's shoulder.  "It's all right."  He stroked his head gently, smiling at his buddy.  Such a drama queen sometimes.

Mac came back twenty minutes later.  "Hey."

"Hey," Don said quietly.  Danny was nearly asleep.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  She just yelled at me for moping."

Don grinned.  "Stella yelled at you about that last week."

"Good point."  He sat on the foot of the bed, rubbing Danny's foot when he kicked him.  He quit moving and fell into a snoring, deeper sleep.  "She thinks it's a good idea, even though I told her what happened.  She gave me the most disgusted look and said 'I knew that, Mac' and huffed a bit then told me why it'd be good for me."

Don nodded slowly.  "Danny and I are still workin' things out, Mac.  We'll talk in the morning?"

"I can accept that."  He gave him a gentle smile.  "It'll be okay.  I know she's pushy.  That's usually how I ended up painting something."  He stood up.  "Have a good night, guys."  He went back to his own apartment, finding Stella napping on his couch.  He smiled, tucking her in better before going to bed to think.  Claire obviously saw things he didn't at the moment.

"You moved from New York to North Dakota for them, Mac," Claire whispered in his ear.  "You're not usually this dense."  He rolled over to look at her.  "Don's right.  They do have to work things out but they'll be good for you and you'll be good for them or I'll have Stella spank you.  Again."  He blushed but let out a quiet laugh.  "You mope worse than a puppy who can't play fetch, Mac.  You really do."  She smoothed over his hair again.  "Are you not doing dawn PT anymore?"

"I do it after lunch.  The gym's empty except for a few of us who go over self-defense work."  She smiled at that.  "I can't jog right now.  There's too much snow."

"Use the road, dear.  Just don't get hit by a car.  You'd hate being on this side."  He nodded.  She settled in next to him, letting him get what cuddles he could.  He clearly needed someone to cuddle.  She sighed in displeasure.  "Stella!" she called.

"Let her sleep," Mac said.

"No, you need cuddles and I can't do it right now."  Stella stumbled in, blinking at her.  "Come cuddle my man for me please?"

"I might end up married to him too," she joked.

"No, I'm sure you won't."  Stella came in and snuggled against Mac's back, holding him.  "There, that's better though you're still moping.  Keep it up and I'm going to ask Danny to help."  He cleared up the pout.  She would do that.  His wife was a stubborn woman.  She stroked his cheek, then smiled.  "Be my good Mac again," she whispered.  "You have a long life left, Mac.  Be happy with someone and something."  She faded out.

Stella put her chin on Mac's shoulder.  "She get you for moping?"

He gave her a sad smile.  "She threatened to have you spank me again for it."

She laughed, giving him a squeeze.  "We all need it now and then, Mac, but you've been moping for a long time.   You're ready to jump or we'd still be back at the lab being bothered by Lindsay."  He nodded that was true.  "Have you heard from Sheldon?"

"I have.  He's threatening to come out here to work in the local ME's office too."

She smiled at that.  "He'd hate it.  He'd be bored."

"Probably.  Alexx said it's nice she only gets two a week right now."   He patted her hand.  "I can sleep by myself."

She snorted.  "She'll come haunt me, Mac.  No, you're not.  Not like I'm going to jump you or anything."  She went back to cuddling him, getting comfortable to sleep.  Mac shook his head but accepted it.  Stella was more stubborn than Claire had ever been.  They bonded over being stubborn.  Once they had even had a stubborn contest.  That had not been a good week but it was funnier in hindsight.  He smiled, letting that make him drift off to happier dreams.

***

John walked into the lab, clearing his throat.  "Guys, it's two in the morning.  Shouldn't we go to bed sometime soon?"

Abby glared at him.  "We have to finish this so their life's work is completed."

"Uh-huh.  Why?"

"Duh," Dean said.  John glared and he shrank back.  "They said so, sir."

"Should we find the town's priest?"

"It won't take them too much longer," Andrew said.  "Unless Jonathan added more."

"Only the one thing because I think it could help them," Jonathan said dryly.  "They are busting ghosts and demons."

Andrew looked at him.  "You're scary."

"As scary as Warren?" he asked, looking hurt.

"Nowhere near that scary but you're becoming the King of Geeks again, Johno."  He grinned at that compliment.  "C'mon, we can talk one of the girls into watching anime with us."  They floated off to do that.  One of the older ones was up and sighed but let them lead her back to Xander's so they could watch anime.  They couldn't work the DVD player and some of their favorites had new eps out.

John sighed, coming over.  Abby turned to push him out of her lab, forcing him out the door then shutting it in his face.  "Hey!"

"No, let us work!"  She made shooing motions and went back to it.

John stared then called Gibbs to wake him up.  "Abby, Xander, and Dean got possessed by some of Xander's former friends.  They're building the rest of their life's work."  He grimaced.  "In the lab still, Gibbs.  They won't let me interrupt."  He nodded.  "I can do that."  He went down to the soda machine, getting her a Caf Pow.  He handed it off to Gibbs when he met up with him in the lobby.  "Dean and Xander too."

"I figured Xander would be.  He's too open to being possessed."

"He's got a shield up," John defended.  "I don't know how it happened this time."

"Some of them have been stronger than they should be," Gibbs told him.  "Even Dawn said so when someone woke her up.  She and her mother are talking."

John hid the hurt that Mary hadn't shown up yet.  "That's a good thing though."  They went up there to try to separate Abby and Dean from Xander.  Hoping it'd keep them from working and it'd mean they could pull Xander out of the lab too.  Abby took her soda, gave Gibbs a hug, then went back to work.  Dean took it to sip, passed it to Xander, then she got it back.  They kept fiddling with whatever they were working on.

"We need the reactor core," Xander told her.

She nodded.

"Are you building a bomb?" Gibbs demanded.

Xander pouted at him.  "I can but nope."  He went back to work.

"This is really fascinating.  I've never built anything on this level before," Dean told them.  "The light saber was pretty cool.  I didn't know how you built a laser before."

John moaned, shaking his head.  "It works?"  Dean lit it up and they all moaned at the pretty blue energy beam.  It was as long as Xander's usual sword.  Clearly built for him or Dean instead of Abby.  "Turn that off, son."  Dean turned it off.  "You can build it tomorrow.  You need to sleep tonight."

"Sammy's fine."

"I know that.  I was with him when Anya came to chat."

Xander gave him a hurt look.  "Why?"

"Because you're busy.  She went to bother the girls in Cleveland."  Xander pouted.  "If you weren't in here, she might show up."

Xander pouted at Abby, then at Dean.  "We need to fix that."

"We do," Dean agreed, going down to the kitchen to get a few snacks.  He came up with them and three two liters in a basket then kicked the 'adults' out so Xander could lay the spell.  Time distorted and they got back to work.  This way they got some sleep tonight and Xander could be kept up by Anya - just like old times.  Those geeks had some really cool ideas.

Gibbs and John looked at each other then at the blank spot that used to be a door.  "We need a higher level of geek."

"Abby is our highest geek.  The other two are on vacation this week.  Unless you think one of the CSI can get in?"

"Ryan might but he's sedated in the infirmary from where he had that wreck last night coming in from the movies and hurt his back.  Speed?"

"Is a geek," he admitted, calling him.  "Speedle, Gibbs.  Strange stuff in the lab.  Xander, Dean, and Abby were all possessed by some geek friends of Xander's.  Who?" he asked John.

"I heard Johno be mentioned earlier."

Gibbs listened.  "They've already got a working light saber, Speedle.  They just cast a spell in the lab to continue working.  It looks like they blinked out."  He nodded once.  "And we do what?"  He sighed.  "How do we get them out?  We were hoping for a higher level of geek."  He smirked.  "I can ask.  She's up."  He hung up.  "He suggested McKay."

"That is one King Geek," John agreed.  He went to talk to Daniel, making him grumpy.  "Xander did something to the lab Abby and Dean are locked in with him.  It looks like a temporal distortion.  Gibbs and I think we need a higher level geek to bring them out of it and help them either do it faster or unpossess them."

"Who got them?"

Gibbs walked up behind him.  "Andrew and Jonathan.  Two of the king geeks of Sunnydale.  They're the ones who built the Buffy robot if you've been told that story."

"Barely.  What are they doing?" he asked.

"So far they have a working light saber," John told him.  "We think it's going to take the power of Geek this time and not even Sammy's this big of a geek."

"Go for it if Dawn can pull it off."

"She's talking to her mom."  They went to talk to her.  Gibbs went through since he had more information from Speedle.  He walked out of the portal and found people staring at him.  "DCIS needs McKay right now."

Sam Carter came out of the office.  "Why?"

"Three possessed geeks tinkering," he said dryly.

She winced.  "What are they building?"

"I have no idea except that Xander said it's not a bomb they need the reactor core for.  So far they have a working light saber and a bunch of other stuff on the table.  It's going to take a higher level of geek to help them."

She nodded.  "He fits.  Let me call him.  How are you doing that?"

"Dawn."

She winced.  "Okay.  A better explanation?"

Gibbs shrugged.  "Not a clue beyond magic and Dawn."

"Ah."  She went to call him.  "McKay, you're needed on the DCIS base right now.  Three possessed geeks building things with a reactor core.  Not a bomb but otherwise they have no idea.  No, Gibbs is here with a shiny portal.  Gate room."  She hung up and came back out.  "Give him twenty to change shirts.  The comm unit going off made him jump and spill his coffee."

"That's fine.  Done that before," Gibbs promised.  He looked back at Dawn, who shrugged it was fine with her.  He smirked at Sheppard as he came in looking confused.  "At home it's ghost central.  Xander, Abby, and Dean Winchester are all possessed and building things in the R&D lab.  Need a light saber?"

"They got one to work?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Sam?"

"Go," she said tolerantly.  McKay hurried in with his backpack.  He saw John and grumbled but tossed him his from the rack and they followed Gibbs through.  She shook her head once the portal was closed.  She went to write Jack an email to find out how they had done that.  She really wanted to know.  This magic stuff was just strange and wrong in many ways.  The portal had violated a lot of rules of physics.  She could name five off the top of her head.

***

Gibbs pointed at the lab.  "In there."

"Is that a temporal field?" Sheppard asked, staring at it.

"We think so."

McKay grimaced but went to get something from the vault with a sigh, putting it against the doorway barrier.  He keyed in a code and it went off, creating a clear spot.  They walked into it and time seemed to stretch.  They both got very old then deaged back to five then back to their normal ages as they stepped out the other side.  "That's interesting," McKay said, staring at it.  "I'll have to study that if we get any free time."  He looked at them, crossing his arms over his chest.   "If we're creating new laws of physics, you should have invited me."  Abby gave him a hug and showed him.  "Is that what I think it is?"

"A nuclear accelerator, dude," Dean agreed, staring at it.  "We're out of wires."  He frowned.  Xander gave him a look then summoned something in.  The box thumped and they got into it.  It was the spare parts box.  That gave them the last wire they needed.  They turned it on and hit the wall.  It did burst.  They smiled and got back to work.

Sheppard coughed.  "Guys, maybe we should take a break, have a snack?" he offered.  "McKay gets cranky when he doesn't eat."  Rodney shot him a glare.  "You do."

"Not cute," he noted.  He got Abby to finish her Caf-Pow and the boys to drink something.  They were talking about their next project.  Xander pulled out the stuff for that one and they had to scavenge a bit but it was fine.  They did talk them into eating and all that.  After that one was done Sheppard tried to get them to bring down the field.  That way they could get more wire.  Xander walked through it and came back a minute later with an armful of stuff.  Then he went and came back again.  The field stayed up and didn't seem to bother him in the least.  They went back to creating after being forced to eat another snack.  Sheppard and McKay ate from their pack and it was fine.  They finally got Abby and Dean to rest while Xander tinkered, then Sheppard knocked him out.

"Know how to exorcize a spirit?" Sheppard asked.

"Barely.  Abby gave me a book of it in case I ever needed it."  They felt the spell shift and watched it as it bulged toward them.  It held.  They grimaced and put the field distortion generator back on it.  A ghost floated through, a female one.  "Who're you?" Rodney asked.

"Tara," she said, going to check on Xander.  She sighed.  "Xander."  He moaned, shifting in his sleep until he was curled up on Dean's arm and shoulder.  "Good boy, you nap, Xander."  She stroked over his hair.  "There's plenty of time to create tomorrow."  He moaned and made pulling motions.  "No, I can't cuddle yet.  You'll get to cuddle me some year soon."  She looked at the men.  "You'll come out in about an hour after you went in, normal time.  Watch out for mistakes?  Xander's last language is science, not his first."  She floated back through the field and disappeared, going to nag Willow some more.  She clearly needed the nagging.  She was screwing up somehow.

They sighed and checked what had been built already.  A few things they'd have to figure out but most were geek boy dreams so they both knew what they were.  Abby got up first and looked around then wandered out still half asleep, finding the bathroom.  She came back.  Gibbs had tried to grab her but his hands had gone through her arm.  The boys woke with a poke from her and they got back to work.  They had other things to build.  The boys went to the bathroom too.  Still not able to be grabbed.  They came back and it was good for them.  They ate something at John's urgings and got back to work.

John and Rodney yawned but kept up with them.  Rodney had to stop something in the middle and remove it before it exploded and killed everyone in the state but that was fine.  The last thing they built was another robot.  It didn't look totally lifelike but it was pretty darn good.  Xander went to the chemical analysis system and typed in something.  He got back a null answer and tried something else.  Abby came over.  Rodney came over.  Something floated in and got put next to them.  Ah, that worked.  They put the skin on the robot and it was better.  Now it looked like Tara.  They all smiled.  Then they fell limp.  John caught the two guys and Rodney caught Abby. The field fell.  John and Gibbs walked in.

"Nap time first," John ordered.  "Don't touch the blue thing."

"Please don't touch the blue thing or the pack system," Rodney said, sounding tired.  They let them curl up together in the corner again.  It had been three long days of building.  Dean grabbed Abby to pull her on top of him but let Xander have his shoulder.  She nuzzled his chest a few times then let out an ungirlish snore.  The men all shook their heads.  "Kids," Rodney said quietly.

Gibbs looked at him.  "What is all this?"  He looked at the robot.  "I saw you a minute ago."  The robot came to life and came to fuss over the three sleeping geeks.  "Hey!"  He stopped her but she shrank away.  "I'm not going to turn you off, miss.  What is going on?"

"Jonathan wanted to build another of us so Tara could come back legitimately without creating a new First Evil situation," she said quietly.  "Please?"  He let her go.  "Thank you.  They need to nap.  Xander's a bad one at being possessed."  Anya floated in.  "They're passed out, Anyanka."

She pouted.  "Shoot."

"Give him another hour or so.  You know how he sleeps," she said with a blush.

Anya nodded.  "I do."  She settled down next to them, looking at the new men.  "I could learn to appreciate men like you."  She pinched Sheppard, making him jump and yelp.  "Hmm, firm.  Very nice," she said with a leer.  "Since I'm not with Xander anymore, how do you feel about multiple orgasms for me later on?"

"You're incorporeal," John Winchester reminded her.

"I can change."

"Uh-huh."  He stared her down.  "Don't force him."

"Fine," she pouted.  She blinked her big, wet eyes at him.  "Xander turned me into a better girl when I got rehumaned after he broke my power center."

Sheppard smiled.  "You sound like you have an interesting past."

She nodded.  "I'm Anyanka, Vengeance over Women Scorned."

He blinked.  "The nutty exes call you when their stalker ploys don't work?"

She snorted.  "And ones that got cheated on or hurt.  Yes."

"Wow.  How old are you?" he asked.

"I was eleven-hundred-twenty-three when the last battle happened."  He gaped.  She smirked.  "I've kept incredibly well, haven't I?"

"You have.  Think you'll be around tomorrow?"

"Only if I break the spell and the covenant he made with the spirit realm."

"Who?" John asked.

"The dweeb in Delaware.  This is his version of chaos to prove he's bigger than Ethan Rayne."  She looked at Xander.  "We really should pull Ethan out of him."  They all gaped then John went to find holy water.  They'd need it soon.  His muttering was best off not heard by others.  Xander was carefully separated and frisked for weapons, Anya even got in some groping during it, but Xander slept through it.  They did the exorcism.  Ethan floated out complaining.  "My Xander," she pouted.  "Get your own."

"Janus only made one of him.  Were he twins I'd share."

"He hasn't been twins since my ex hit him on the head with a troll hammer," she said dryly.

Ethan moaned.  "And I missed it."   She smirked. "You might want to take Travers out as well, boys."  They got back to work.  John Winchester knew who that was and he was not happy.  "He really should have been guarded."

"We thought the other was going to tell him," Dean admitted.

Ethan sighed.  "That's because the little pretender to my throne offered the soul of his choice for the night's chaos.  Many want that one's.  I did protect it very well.  Even if the temporal spell was a stroke of genius to help those two nerdly little boys pass on so they could be reborn."

"To a slayer?" John Winchester asked.

"Who knows.  That's not up to us."

Anya looked at him.  "You're not dead."

"No, I'm out of my body so I could get away from the torturing arseholes dear Ripper gave me to."

Gibbs stared at him.  "They were shut down."

"The main project was shut down.  Someone else had some interesting research topics and had borrowed," he said genteelly.  "Which is where I am.  As well as two other witches."

"Where?" Gibbs asked.  "I'll have them shut down."

Ethan smirked.  "Will you?  How?"

"I know the president's phone number at home," he said bluntly.  Ethan gave him a pleased look.  "Torture is not right for any reason.  This would fall under DCIS."

"Well.  Not bad."  He stroked a hand over his head.  "Absolutely headblind.  Pity."

"There's a spirit like you with the director here," Anya told him. "Jack can help them.  He's with those two."  She pointed at the two Atlantis crew members  "They do alien stuff."

Ethan smirked.  "That's not a bad idea, chippy. Thank you.  Do have fun with Xander.  By the way, Travers is attached to the cursed mark he wears on his back."  John flipped the boy over to find it and cut it off if he had to.  Ethan found the other spirit and went to talk to him, plus the human.  This one was awake.  "Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

Jack shrugged a bit.  "Depends."

"The Initiative rented me out to a scientist.  That headblind one in the lab seems to think they can release us."

"I didn't like the Initiative.  If I had known, I'd have been there to take them apart at the seams.  Where are you?"  Ethan merged with him for a minute, then Jack found himself waking up.  "Fer cryin' out loud, turn down the damn lights in here!" Jack shouted.  A nurse came running.  "Paper, pen," he ordered.  She started to fuss.  He glared.  "Now!  It's important."  She got him one and he wrote it down, then let himself drift back off.  It made very little sense to him.  "Goes to Danny at DCIS," he said sleepily, falling into a natural sleep.

She handed it to her supervisor, who told the base's second-in-command, who was taking over after the new year.  "Sir, General O'Neill woke up, demanded we turn down the lights in the infirmary.  He wrote this down and said it goes to someone named Danny at DCIS?"

He took the note.  "Jackson runs DCIS."  He called over there, waking up the night officer.  "Good morning."

"Not fully, at least not here.  What's wrong, sir?  Ghosts on the base?"

"General O'Neill woke up from a near coma to write a message and said it had to go to someone named Danny at your agency, son.  I'm guessing it's the director."

"That's fine.  Can you fax it to us please?"  He nodded, finding the fax number already on speed dial.  The agent smiled.  "Jack and he pick on each other now and then, sir."

"Of course they do.  O'Neill is bored stupid doing the paperwork here."  He sent it.  "There you go, Agent...."

"Caine."  He got it off the machine.  "I'll give it to him at breakfast, sir.  Or is it more urgent?"

"No clue.  Doctor?"

"No idea.  He didn't say."

"That's fine.  I'll get it to him at breakfast, sir.  Have a better night and ignore any ghosts that may be showing up.  It's an unusual fall apocalypse."  He hung up as John Winchester stormed in.  "What?"

"The dweeb in New Jersey did this and offered Xander's soul in exchange for the ghosts.  Did you get something from O'Neill?"

"I did."

"The Initiative gave some of their people samples of their inmates.  Including a sorcerer named Ethan Rayne who got handed over by Rupert Giles."

Horatio stared for a minute then licked his lips.  "Wasn't Mr. Giles part of the reason they went down?"

"Yup.  The whole team out there was.  Ethan is a chaos sorcerer.  He bothered Giles so he did the expedient thing."

"I see.  Should I wake Daniel up?"

"Please.  Let me get someone to New Jersey to beat the brat.  Some of the girls are there," he said at the odd look.

"Have them bring him here to arrest him properly," Gibbs ordered from the doorway.  "Move, Horatio."  He got out of the chair and Gibbs took the message, nodding at it.  "I know where that is."  He logged into the system and used his old password, which still worked for some reason.  He got the nighttime Staffer on duty.  "This is ISC Watcher Gibbs.  I need the president now."

"More dragons?" he demanded.

"Worse, a classified military project that got shut down with prejudice is still going after he ordered it stopped for torture."  The staffer moaned and went to get the Chief of Staff up.  She was in her office.  Gibbs nodded.  "The Initiative."

"Them?  I thought they were all dead."

"Finn's in Homeland," Winchester said, getting one of the girls.  "Who's in Delaware?  Get the little dweeb, bring him here.  He offered Xander's soul.  They were building weapons, Rona.  Today."  He hung up, looking at the Chief of Staff.  "Someone had a researcher with samples outside the base."

She moaned.  "Okay.  Where are they?"  Gibbs held up the note to the camera.  "I know where that is."

"It should be under our authority," Gibbs said.  "Want us to go with another agency or not?"

"You can go but you'll need backup and probably medical support from what little I know."

"I sat on the tribunal," Gibbs said honestly.  She shuddered.  "Exactly, ma'am.  We'll take a few teams first thing in the morning."

"Agreed.  Summon whoever you need."

"There's an NCIS office in San Diego.  It's about two hours away.  Have a team meet me there please.  I'll go as the ISC rep."  She nodded, moving to make the plans.  "Thank you for your cooperation."  He hung up and looked at John.  "Warn House.  Get up ...."

"I'll go," Horatio offered.  "Since I'm up.  My team's on for the next case."

"Go for it.  Get me the New York team too.  At least Flack and Taylor."  He nodded, going to do that.  He looked at John.  "Good luck with them."

"Not an issue.  I'll let them geek at Sammy until he explains things to the rest of us."

Sheppard leaned in.  "Can we help?"

"They might be current military.  I'm having the nearest NCIS branch going in with the teams here."

"I can still help, Gibbs."

"Help them with the lab clean up and figure out what they built."  John walked in the list.  He and John Winchester both moaned.  "That's ..."

"A geek's wet dream," John agreed smugly.  "McKay's still petting the nuclear accelerator."  He walked out to warn House and Chase.  "Guys," he said as he walked in.  Chase looked up from his reading.  "Team effort going tomorrow.   At least three hostages we know of and they've been tortured."

"I'll lay in supplies.  How long?"

"They're going soon to bust it.  Plus flight time back.  I'd say probably ten at the earliest?"

"Plenty of time.  Thank you."

"Not an issue.  By the way, we unpossessed Dean, Abby, and Xander."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

"I meant all of Xander's."

"No.  Just the geeks that made them build stuff, a chaos sorcerer, and a former Watcher."

"Charming," he muttered, going to make note of it.  "Do we have names?"  John wrote it down for him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  They were in a temporal fold."

"I'll check them over after breakfast."  He nodded and left, going back to the lab.   He needed some of the geek toys too.  Chase called House.  "We'll have trauma patients at the earliest by ten. At least three, possibly more.  I was warned they'd have undergone torture."  He hung up and checked supplies, getting the nurse's help to get more things.

***

Horatio took point up to the gate, holding up the desist order.  "The president said to turn over all prisoners and samples to DCIS.  Immediately."  The guard reached for something and Mac got him down.  "No, we'll tell them ourselves.  Secure him."  They walked onto the base like an avenging small army.  What they saw inside made Flack puke off to the side of the hallway.  Horatio grimaced but they managed to find the people in charge and arrested everyone on base before getting the poor people loaded to go back to their base.  It was safer for them there.  House was not going to be pleased.  He called once they were on the plane.  "House, Horatio Caine.  You'll need support.  We have ten demons, fifteen humans, and they're bad.  Mac's gray, House.  He saw combat injuries.  He was in Lebanon and he's gray."  He hung up with that warning, reaching over to pat Mac.  "We'll do what we can for them," he reminded him.

"How in the hell did this happen?"

"They were Initiative," Horatio said.  "The ones the group in Sunnydale took down."  Mac glared.  Horatio pointed at one.  "Rupert Giles turned him over."

"Damn him," Flack said, glaring at them.  "Why?"

"The only records Gibbs had said he was being a pain by being a chaos sorcerer.  There's ones left in Homeland."

"Over my dead body!" Flack said firmly.

"Once we have them back, we'll see what we can do," Mac said calmly.  "I did not fight and bleed for my government for them to do this."  Flack nodded, calming down and going to check their patients.  "How many are critical?"

"Two.  Gibbs forwarded the records they were gathering directly to our infirmary.  He'd go through Abby but they're still asleep."

"Hmm.  They were up late last night building geek toys while possessed," Horatio admitted.  Flack smiled at that.  "Including a working light saber according to the list I glanced at."

"That's talent," Mac decided.  The plane changed altitudes.  "Is the copter waiting on us?" he asked the pilot.

"Yes, sir.  We're touching down at an unused strip nearer to the base.  It's usually used for crop dusting."  He did what he had to do to land.  "It'll be bumpy."  They buckled in and checked the patients as they landed.  The nurses they were borrowing from town came over to check the patients.  A few gasped.

"The demon ones are coming in the next shipment," Horatio offered.  "With Gibbs."  They nodded.  Everyone got the people offloaded and onto the helicopters, taking the SUV's back to the base with the nurses for now.  The pilot took off again.

***

House saw the first one coming in and shuddered.  "They're in jail, right?" he demanded as the first agent came in to help.

"Heading here to do that," Horatio promised.  He helped move one onto a gurney.  "Where can I help?  I can at least bandage."

"Stock for now," he ordered, waving a hand at the supplies.  The fifteen humans got worked on nearly silently.  Chase had to call for more bandages a few times when he found a bleeder with an artery that was damaged very close to the surface.  The others they did what they could and let the surgeons they were borrowing from the nearest hospital have the ones they could work on.  The others got what they could until it was their turn.  The agents helped by bandaging, moving, holding pressure now and then.  Mac ended up clamping Chase's bleeder once so he got to visit surgery for a few minutes as well until they got his fingers free.  They were nearly done when the first demon came in.  "Aw, shit," he muttered.  "Someone call Connor, see if we can get a demon healer?"   Danny Messer did that and Dawn opened a portal a minute later to bring a few healers through.  They came over to work on the demons with them.  It was much faster since there were less of them.  Most of them would be okay.  One of them the healers refused to touch.  "What?  DNR order?"

"Anything that cannot be healed naturally of his kind, they are expected to die," he said in accented English.  "It is their way."

"Bandages?"

"Acceptable.  Stitching as well.  He has a bruised liver though.  Plus a ruptured stomach."

"That's stitching," House pointed out.  He moved to get what he needed and dug in to do that.  The demon moaned but he glared.  "I'm only stitching it closed.  If you die from it, so be it."  The demon nodded, passing out again.  He looked at the healer.  "Antibiotics?"  He shook his head.  "Any chance?"

"It's possible.  They are very good healers."

Xander stumbled in and got something out of a case, handing it to House.  "Mohra demon blood."  The healer perked up and split it between that one and another demon who needed it.  Xander moved around people until he found the tylenol box.  Then he went to check on his people.  "Guys?  We good?"  Mac glared at him.  "What?"

"You let them take someone?"

"Huh?"

"The remains of the Initiative had them," Gibbs told him.

Xander nodded slowly.  "I did protest.  Buffy and Giles sent him with Riley Finn."  He took the drugs and a sip of water from his hand after dipping it under the closest faucet.  He swallowed the pills.  "I would've thought the tribunal would've heard and shut them down too since we had no idea where he went.  You guys took the records before Willow could hack to see where."

Gibbs grimaced.  "I never heard they took people off."

"Finn knew.  He handed him over.  His whole team, Gibbs.  Beyond that, yeah, I complained.  We had to rescue a friend.  Giles thought they'd poke him a bit, scare him, and keep him secure so out of his hair.  Not torture him."  He came over and looked then sighed.  "Asshole.  This is why you left me the healing spell, huh?"  He calmed himself then grimaced.  "I need help with this."  He grabbed Don's hand.  "Help me."  He focused.  "I'm using you as a straw, Don.  Just relax."  He did as Ethan had left instructions for and healed the worst of the injuries.  Then he passed out and Don passed out.

"Just what we needed," House complained.

"He said Rayne left the healing spell last night when he possessed Xander," Gibbs said, helping move those two to empty beds.  "They'll be fine in a minute."  Don woke up. "See?"

House checked them both.  "Go eat," he told Don, getting a nod and him going to do that.  House came over to look at Ethan.  He had been in very bad shape.  Now, he was in less bad shape.  The gaping cuts were down to minor wounds.  The bruises were fading.  His hair was growing back where it had been scalped off him.  The skin too.  He checked his vitals then smacked him on the face.  "C'mon."  Ethan blinked at him. "Welcome to DCIS.  Don't make him do it again."

"I won't," he said quietly.  "I owe him."  He rubbed his eyes then looked at him.  "The females?"

"In the other room," Gibbs said calmly, coming over.  "I need the names of who did this to you, Rayne.  I was on the tribunal and we never heard."

"Captain Finn took me into custody and handed me over after a short report on what I could do.  I was starting to come around from the sedative dart."

Gibbs nodded.  "We'll be debriefing you later.  Once you're ready."

Ethan nodded.  "Where is Ripper?"

"Cleveland," House told him.  "Wesley and Gibbs are our watchers locally."

Ethan swallowed, letting Gibbs help him sip some water.  "I would like to talk to dear Ripper."

"No," Xander said, holding his head.  "I just got rid of that headache."  House swatted him.  "Hey!  Easy on the prettiness."  Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "What?"

"That's a Dean line," he said dryly.

"Yeah, I know.  We're working on that now.  Jonathan was a bit zealous."  He shook his head.  "Tim word."  He slid off the bed and came over.  "You can't curse him while you're on base.  No harmful magic inside our protections."

"It can be done."

Xander stared at him.  "Then I'd have to kick your ass, Rayne."  That got a nod of understanding.  "You want Giles, you go to Cleveland.  I'll even give you the address.  Or we'll hold a meeting in the middle of nowhere.  That's acceptable to me.  I'm sure Wes would agree."

"The one who works with Angel?" he asked.

"Him.  He and I do most things while Giles rebuilds the Council.  How in the hell did Travers get me?"

"He knew he could work through you to fix whatever Ripper was bollixing."

"Ah.  That's wonderful.  He comes back, I'm ripping his soul apart."  Gibbs gave him a look.  Xander held up a hand.  "There's past issues there, guys.  Leave it for now."  He looked at Ethan.  "Your word?  I'll arrange for you to be able to beat his ass.  Just don't do it inside our wards."

"I will not cast harmfully while I'm inside your protections."

"Thank you."  He stared into his eyes.  "He's in his own personal obsession hell, Ethan," he said quietly.

"I don't care."

"Good.  Maybe you can snap him out of that.  Even Buffy's said stuff."  He patted him on the arm, getting a hiss.  "I thought I fixed that."

"Still a bit sore even though it's no longer broken," he said tiredly.

"You sleep.  You need it more than I do."  He walked off, going to tell Wesley in Daniel's office.  "Boss, the next time I get possessed by Travers I'm ripping his soul apart."  Danny spluttered. "The same man who tried to kill me, kill Faith, kill Buffy?  Yeah."

"That's vengeance, Xander.  Not justice."

"He's already dead.  Justice is past his limit."

"He can be judged if you can send him to a judging body," Wesley corrected.

"He decided to possess me so I could kick Giles around," he said blandly.

"Ah.  I see."  Wesley nodded.  "Get him to a judging body.  We can do that."

"If we could find him again."

"He's here, I heard and instructed John on how to trap him."

"Take him to the box in New York," Daniel suggested.  They smirked at that.  "Other news?"

"I healed Ethan Rayne partially.  He left a healing spell in my head and he needed it."

"Good.  Do you want to hit him too?" Wesley asked.

Xander looked at him.  "I have a promise from him not to work inside our wards if I arrange it so he can face Giles down about giving him to the Initiative." Wesley went pale.  "Do you want to do that there or somewhere in the middle of nowhere?"

"A secret meeting," he decided, gathering his composure.  "Did we not protest?"

"Not like they listened to me, Wes!"

"Good point."  He patted the boy on the shoulder, watching him hiss.  "Sore?"  He checked.  "A bit bruised."

"I slept on Dean's shoulder and the floor last night.  If it's magic based, it's from the temporal spell Ethan had me do while he was possessing me."  He looked at Daniel again.  "I did protest."

"I know you would have, Xander."

"They weren't on the base and the tribunal confiscated the records almost immediately."

"I know."  He gave him a gentle smile.  "We don't blame you.  You're still human, not a full god."  Xander relaxed.  "Now, what other problems are we foreseeing?"

"I hate that word."

"That sounded like Dean's voice," Wesley said, giving him an odd look.

"Jonathan got too happy sharing knowledge," Dean said as he walked in.  "He did ask if this was the right thing to do since they knew what they were doing," Dean reported.  Gibbs walked in.  "He did say it wasn't right, Gibbs."

"I know he did.  The kid doesn't support torture."  Xander slumped and nodded.  "Why the worry?"

Xander looked at him.  "Because they tried to charge us for taking them down, Gibbs.  That was the first part of the tribunal.  We had to prove why we did it."

Gibbs grimaced.  "Must've been before we broke in."

"Probably.  I don't know.  They still tried to charge us and they did promise they would find a way to charge us.  This is the excuse they need."

"No, it's not, kid.  The first tribunal was flawed and corrupt.  They were taken out and we were put in because of it.  Most of them are in jail."  Xander gave him a hopeful look.  "Two are still in the government, one in public service as a lobbyist.  They will not be doing this.  The president gave us a desist order and I'll make sure he knows that they tried that if he doesn't already."  Xander gave him a hug.  "How are you linked with Abby since they did it first?"  That was an Abby hug, complete with minor bouncing against his chest.

"Jonathan went back through him after us," Dean said.  "We're working on it.  I need him for now, Daniel.  That good?"

"That's fine.  Do be careful.  He's usually exhausted after doing anything magically."

"Of course he is."

"He just passed out after having Don Flack help him with a healing spell for Rayne," Gibbs said.

Xander looked at him.  "If I'm that injured, let me go or find a healer," Xander said bluntly.  "He was handed over six weeks before we had to take them down."

Gibbs shuddered.  "I'll make sure the base shrink goes to see if they want help."  Xander nodded, letting Dean lead him off.  He looked at Jackson.  "We have a preliminary report."

Daniel got out of his seat, letting him have the teleconferencer.  "Go for it.  I know he has meetings today."

"That's fine, I can leave it with the Chief of Staff since she knows."  He dialed out and let Daniel put in the code.  "Ma'am."

"Gibbs.  Any news?"

"Fifteen humans, ten demons."  She winced.  "All in need of critical care support.  The infirmary here had to borrow staff from a local hospital.  Some of them are going to need long term care.  Including one who's pregnant.  The question has been raised about the first tribunal since they might have known, and the ones who were given enough leeway to go to the UN hunting squads and then to Homeland?"

"Is it pertinent?"

"At least one was handed over directly by Captain Finn, ma'am."

"I see."  She considered it.  "Let me talk to the president, Gibbs.  How many are able to be debriefed?"

"None.  One's slightly awake thanks to Harris doing a healing spell he learned off him last night during the ghost incident."

"I saw that," she said blandly.

"Some little brat in Delaware.  He's being brought here by the slayers to face charges."

"Good.  That was very annoying.  I had to listen to my mother nag again."  She shifted in her chair.  "When should we be able to debrief them?"

"Doctor House thinks within three days."  He coughed then looked at her.  "The first tribunal threatened the people who took them down?"

"They did?" she asked coolly.  He nodded.  "We're sure?"

"I talked to Harris, ma'am.  He was threatened and they did say they would find a way to charge him someday."

"They're in jail?"

"All but two in Homeland and one in a lobbying firm."

"Charming," she sneered.  "Is it pertinent?"

"A member of the group out there turned one of our patients over for annoying them."  She stared.  "Mr. Giles turned over the chaos sorcerer Ethan Rayne.  The one Xander healed.  Xander did protest.  He did suggest they knew what they were doing was wrong and bad.  Giles sent him anyway with Captain Finn."

"Ah.  The healing spell?"

"He was out of his body and came to possess Xander last night."

"Interesting.  How did he find him?"

"He had done things to Xander in the past," Daniel said as he came around the desk to look at her.  "During one Halloween he ran a costume shop and turned all the people into their costumes.  Xander was one."

"What did he go as?" she asked with a small smile.  "I can't imagine him dressing up."

Daniel smirked.  "He does lose his serious demeanor around base, ma'am.  You only see him when there's a problem."  She nodded that was true.  "He went as a soldier."

"That's where he got the training from," she said, standing up.

"The former owner was apparently Special Ops by what we know of what he learned," Gibbs told her.  She moaned, sitting down again.  "But yes, and then he added the new training on top of that.  That is how he planned graduation."

"That makes so much sense."

"He still had to train himself," Gibbs told her.

"Yes, but it must've given him a framework."

"He's still a weak puncher, ma'am," Gibbs told her.  She smirked at that.  "He still has all that combat history and he was hunting before then."

"Good.  It's clear he took advantage of the opportunity he got given.  Is he all right?"

"He's fine.  They're unlinking a few people that the ghosts took over to build geek toys last night," Gibbs admitted.  "They built a light saber."  She giggled.  "A working one."  She stared.  "The geeks who got them were from the town as well."

"Anything of use to a defense contractor?"

"I don't know," Gibbs admitted, looking at Daniel.

"The very lifelike robot possibly," he admitted.  "I don't know about the other stuff but I have a few of the people Jack works with here because they had to help break up the geek toy party last night.  With Rayne possessing Xander, Harris cast a temporal spell to give them three weeks to build geek toys overnight."  She shuddered.  "So they're all exhausted right now.  McKay saved them from blowing up the state during an experiment."

"Good to know.  Let me tell the president and mention that concern, Jethro.  We'll see what we can do.  I know the boy would have gotten him out of there if he had known."

"The first tribunal confiscated the records of where they took the others, ma'am.  We might need to search them for more.  We never heard a thing about it."

"You were on the second?"  Gibbs nodded.  "Good.  I'll see what I can do, Jethro.  Stay there today."  She hung up and went to talk to the president.  "Do you have a moment?"

"Bad news?" he asked.  "The morning report gave me heartburn."

"Worse news.  Ten demons, fifteen humans were found at the research site."  He glared at her.  "Gibbs went with the DCIS and NCIS team to shut them down.  They were tortured."  He moaned.  "The first tribunal may have known.  They also threatened to find a way to charge Harris's former group with interfering with the program.  Gibbs said he's not sure there's not other sites.  They confiscated the records."

"I'll have them sent to him.  How bad?"

"He said torture, sir, and it'll be a few days before they're able to be debriefed.  They had to borrow doctors on the base."

"They're treating the demons?"

"DCIS has always said that they treat any pacifist society the same as they do humans, sir.  It's not their fault they were captured.  Though, the reason may be in Homeland and at least one of them over there knew one of the humans had been taken off base."

"Who?"

"Finn."

"Where is he?"

"Homeland.  Along with two members of the original tribunal.  One's in a lobbyist's office."

"Get them."

"Gibbs wanted to know if he's arresting them."

"We'll see.  Who handed that human over?"

"Mr. Giles did."  He glared again.  "Apparently Harris did protest because they knew they were doing something wrong at the very least.  Harris was probably worried they'd use this to discredit him and the agency.  He said DCIS is a family to him."

"Good to know.  We'll look into that.  Tell the Counsel I want to talk to him about that.  Get the records in here."  She nodded, going to do that for him.  This was not good news.  His heartburn was coming back.  He took two rolaids and belched, then went to get some milk.  This was not going to be a good day.

***

Ethan woke up to find a young woman on the foot of his bed.  She looked slightly familiar but he couldn't place her.  "Candy striper?" he asked.

"No.  You had a magical flash while you were dreaming and it woke me up."  She leaned down.  "I had to recode the infirmary's wards so they wouldn't zap you, Ethan."

He smiled.  "You are a witch.  Have we worked together?"

"My mother and Buffy would've freaked," she said dryly.  He gave her a hurt look.  "I'm Dawn.  Buffy's little sister."

"Talent runs in the family," he said.

"We're not fully sure where Buffy gets hers from," she said dryly, making him smirk.  She stood up.  "Anyway, I made it so the infirmary's shields won't hurt you and won't hinder any more healing spells.  Just don't use Xander again."

"He...."

"Protested," Dawn told her.  "Not like Giles, my sister, Willow, or Riley listened to him.  Or didn't you see that?"

"I did," he admitted quietly, looking around.  He saw him in a bed.  "It exhausted him that much?"

"Breaking the bonds between the three made him pass out again.  He should be fine."  She leaned down again.  "Next time, don't use Xander.  Please?" she asked quietly.  "If you had shown yourself to Wesley, any of the rest of us here, we would've come for you.  What they did is wrong."

"It was.  Whatever would Ripper say though?"

She snorted.  "Like I give a damn?  He's busy rebuilding the Council, Ethan.   Even the girls don't get watchery support from him."

"Travers was in Xander, not him."

"I know.  I finished what John started."  She stroked through his hair.  "You're on the schedule for a bath in about an hour if you can stay awake."  He nodded at that.  "Xander was the main push to get Oz out of there, Ethan.  He doesn't believe in those methods.  Even if now and then he does go badass and beat some demons for information when it's critical."

"It is a slippery slope," he told her.

"Unlike them, Xander has a firm line.  In emergencies is one thing.  Shits and giggles is another."

"Good to know."  He stared at her.  "I could swear I've felt your magic."

"You probably have.  I'm the one who laid most of the wards around here."  She smiled. "Not bad.  My teachers helped."

"The Devon coven?"

"No.  The charmed ones."  He shuddered.  She shrugged.  "I needed kick ass teachers.  I'm going to be a good watcher some year."  She stepped back.  "Gibbs wants to get an account from you if you'd let him.  He also said to tell you if you wanted it, we do have a base shrink for you to talk to before you go beat the crap out of Giles."

"You won't mind or try to stop me?"

She stared at him.  "What he did is wrong, Ethan.  That's called Justice.  As long as it stays justice and not vengeance, we're good."

Ethan nodded.  "I know the difference," he assured her.

"Good."  She smiled and pinched him on the chin.  "You'll heal.  Your natural magic is working to help the original healing spell.  Some of the others are a lot worse off and even the healers aren't sure they can save a few of them."

"I'm very lucky."

"Praise Janus?" she teased.

"Indeed.  What of the little twit that inadvertently helped so much?"

"He's facing charges today.  Our judge has him later on.  Maybe some day you'll teach him better, as long as it doesn't impact the girls or Xander."

"I have no interest in the girls.  Or the whelp."

"You know, Xander's responsible for a lot of good stuff going on.  He used the memories your halloween stunt gave him very well to save others."

Ethan smiled.  "Some balance must come?"

"No.  The Powers and I are having fits."  She tucked him in better.  "Feel better and if you need magical stuff let me know.  They can page me down here when I'm not in school."

He stopped her from moving. "Rosenburg?"

"On probation in Cleveland for trying to have all our utilities shut off.  The FBI was not happy."

"I probably wouldn't be either.  She was very pure the last time I saw her."

"Hmm.  Then she found black magic, Ethan.  She's somewhere in the gray range right now."  She smiled.  "Need anything?"

"I'm fine for the moment.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  She left him alone.  Chase had been fussing a few beds down and gave her a nod.  She smiled, stopping to give him a hug.  "He's a great doctor.  He babies us girls horribly," she told the patient, who smiled at that.  She left, going back to make a report to Gibbs.  She was worried about Xander.  He hadn't felt very well to her.  She'd let Faith hover for a bit while she did some fast research.  "Hey, Thomas?  I need something on healing spells.  Specifically when you have someone lower powered who uses a spell left to him by someone like Ethan the day after a possession."

"Xander's in a bed?"

"Looking kinda washed out and he feels off.  I'm not sure how."

"There's three good books on healing spells," he said, leading her to them.  "No eating."

"Yes, sir."  She went to sit down with them and go over the mechanics.  Maybe something would pop out at her.  If not, Tara was inhabiting her robot self at the moment so she could hug people.

***

Daniel walked into the R&D lab.  "Why does it look like they built a Ghostbusters's trap and proton pack?" he asked.

"Because they did."  Sheppard grinned.  "Neat, huh?"

Daniel gave him a look.  "Vacation?"

"Temporal loop.  We had to come get them out of the dilation field."

"Ah.  So the other pain in Sam's butt is...."

"Checking on Abby."

"That's fine.  What other toys did they make?"

"They work."

"They do?"

"Yeah." He pointed at the hole in the wall he had stuffed with a sweatshirt Abby had given him.  "It works very well."

"Oh, no."

"What?" Sheppard asked, looking confused.

"If we let this out, someone will want to know how."

"We already checked, the lab's cameras caught them doing it," McKay said as he bustled back into the lab.  "The others are more safely put away for now.  We're testing these two at the moment."  The Tara robot walked in and hugged Daniel, making him jump. "That's Tara.  Miss Rosenburg's former girlfriend as I was informed.  Her spirit seemed to stick around after last night and they had them build a robot body for her."

"I miss hugs."

"I know you do," Daniel said, smiling at her.  "I did when I was gone too."  She beamed back, giving him an extra squeeze.  He moaned a bit so she blushed and let go.  "They got you really realistic in this form, Tara."

"They had the Buffy robot too but the demons got it," she said quietly.

"I know some groups that could use the robots."  She blushed again. "Not you.  Ones trained and made to go into dangerous situations."  She nodded and settled down to watch the boys play.  "Is Willow here?"

"No, she's pouting in Cleveland.  They said she's not allowed to leave the city without telling them first.  Or else she goes to jail."

"Xander asked for her to get probation."

She looked at him.  "She and Xander have been friends for a very long time," she told him.  "He's always protected her, Daniel.  He probably always will, even when she's being a kitty butt.  He's the one that stopped her after I died."  Daniel nodded he knew that.  "Xander's a very deep guy and he cares very deeply, but now and then he needs to let go.  Like of the spell he cast earlier."  Daniel moved to the phone to call Dawn.  She smiled. "It'll be fine.  He can be exhausted.  He doesn't want to use magic.  It's just that last night made him."  She gave him another hug.  "Jack's fine too.  You should call him."

He smiled.  "I will in a while.  He's probably still grouching up the infirmary."  She nodded.  "You can see him?"

"Mm-hm.  I can see everyone that came back last night and all those affected.  Thankfully Travers decided to tell the demon he couldn't have Xander's soul.  Your judge was not amused."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Now, go do something fun.  You never get to do fun things anymore."

"Yes, Tara."  He went to translate something for fun.  It was good for him.  Especially after last night.  He saw Dawn go jogging past and smiled.  That was good, she had it well in hand for him.  He'd have to see if she'd become an agent instead of a watcher.  Sam too.

***

House leaned down over Xander's prone form.  "If you so much as *think* about magic in the next week I'm going to strap you down to that bed and let every single slayer in existence come fuss over you.  I don't care why you did it.  I don't care if you were possessed while you did it.  Your body is exhausted and nearly shut down for a while thanks to the healing spell earlier.  You will not do a damn thing for the next week.  Am I clear, Xander?"  He nodded slowly then yawned.  "That's a good start.  Yes, go back to sleep.  You can play with the others and the toys later."  Xander moaned, trying to move. "No!" he snapped.  "What part of you're not to do anything did you not get?"

"It's a compulsion," Ethan called.  "The spirits are trying to get him again.  This has left  his shield wide open."

"Would a warding circle work?" House asked him.  He nodded.  "Then we'll get someone to do that."  He called Sam.  He was sane and available today.  "Samuel, come ward Xander.  I'm told he's under a compulsion to go build more geek toys."  He hung up and stared at Xander until he went limp.  "Do you know why you passed out this time?"

"I needed to go to the bathroom."

"I saw that when we picked you up from in there.  We can give you a urinal, Xander."

"I'll hold it."

House stared at him.  "For the whole week?"

"Can't I go potty?"

"Maybe tomorrow."

"I can hold it that long."

House snorted. "If you can, it's not good for you."

"So?  I haven't wet the bed since I was three and I'm not doing it now."  Sam walked in and drew a salt line around his bed.  "Tell him I don't have to pee in a cup while I'm in bed?"

Sam looked at him then at House.  "He does?"

"He's exhausted.  Like Dawn was after the dragons."

"Yes, you do," Sam told Xander, who pouted.  "Keep it up and I'm bringing Dean down to handcuff him to your bed."

"Dean's not mine, he's Faith's."

"He's already whined her into stomping off," Sam said dryly.  He finished his line and checked it, adding some extra salt in a thin spot behind the head of the bed.  "That should help."  He moved the bed down a bit so Xander's head was fully inside the warding line.  "There we go."  He smirked.  "Behave, Xander.  We need you rested and healthy."

"Can I block off any more freaky magic stuff?"

"There are ways," Ethan assured him.

"That would require him to do magic," House said, glaring at him.  "Be a good patient or I pull out the huge needles and the ugly nurses."  He looked at Xander again, smiling because he was hiding under the sheets.  "Don't like needles either?"

Sam pointed at Faith.  "He's being a bit fussy."

"He's under a compulsion to go work in the lab," Ethan said, sounding amused.  "Ah, the dark-haired one."

Faith stared at him.  "I redeemed myself, Rayne.  You?"  He laughed at that.  "Thought so."  She came over.  "We could put him and Dean in the same bed.  Let your dad fuss over them both."

"Dad's fussing?"

"He went to make Dean eat soup even if he  had to use a set of clamps to keep his mouth open and pour it down his throat with a hose according to Papa Smurf."

"That means he's tired of Dean whining too," Sam told her.  "Should've seen it when he had chicken pox."

"No thanks.  This behavior is why I'll *never* have kids."

"There's many benefits though," Ethan said.

She looked over.  "Don't make me get the unicorn in here."  He went silent and his eyes got very big.  She looked at House again.  "Can he block it off?"

"Once he's not exhausted."

"It could still be drawing out of him," Ethan admitted.  "With the type of power he shows up with, it's not unheard of for a bit of exhaustion like this to be hiding a slow leak back into the source void."  They all stared at him.  "He doesn't have nature magic.  He has void style magic.  It's fairly powerful but also fairly limiting.  It's like a stronger form of chaos with some balance thrown in."

"I'm blocking it," Xander muttered.  He concentrated and then recited the blocking spell he had looked up once.  Suddenly he felt better.  At least until House and Faith both swatted him hard.  "Ow," he said weakly.  "It stopped that."

"I don't care," House told him.  "I said no."  He stomped off, going to call the girls.  "Xander's awake and needs fussed over."

"That's cruel," Xander called over.  "They need to study, not fuss."

"Suck it up, X," Faith said smugly.  A few of the younger girls ran in to come hug, crawl in with, cuddle, and help Xander any way they could.  She walked off cackling.  She ran into John walking Dean that way.  "X is getting fussed over."

"Good.  Dean needs it too."  Dean tried to pull away but he was too tired to do that.  Faith picked him up and went to put him on Xander's bed.  The girls all cooed and welcomed him.  The bed got bigger so it would fit both of them and the girls.

"You shouldn't be doing it either, Rayne," House yelled.  "I need to put up a sign saying no magic unless you're doing a needed healing spell," he muttered to himself.  "And then one at home too.  Just in case someone changes Cuddy into something cuddly and fluffy or Wilson into a meaner puppy."

"It's just to make them more comfortable," he called back.  Watching the girls torment the two macho, tough guys was rather amusing.  Amusing to the father and brother too apparently.  They walked off smirking evilly.  "Poppet, he could use something to drink.  Both of them are probably dehydrated after the temporal spell I helped them do in the lab while they were busy being possessed and creating strange machines to help you lot."  The youngest one beamed and went to get them some juice from the cafeteria, bringing back two full glasses with straws.  Then the older girls made them drink it through the straws.

The girl pulled out some carrot sticks from her pocket to feed them too.  Ethan nearly smirked.  The boys probably did need the vitamins, but they were trying so hard not to look disgusted at having to eat vegetables.  House smirked and waved from his seat, going over the latest results.  The one who would die instead of accept medical attention was healing nicely.  A few of the humans were too.  Some weren't and that was worrisome but they'd do whatever they could.  If they had to, they could forward them to a regular hospital.  Maybe even back in New Jersey to make Cuddy help the government for a bit.

"Can I please nap?" Xander asked politely.  They all cooed and fluffed the pillows, handcuffing Dean next to his buddy before leaving.  Xander looked at Dean.  "I'm sorry the guys did that to us."

"It was neat to create that way.  We'll live this down."  He yawned.  "Hey, Doc, got a key?  I can't sleep in this position."  House came over to let him go so he could shift around then cuffed him to Xander this time.  He drew the curtain around them and let them sleep.  It'd be the best thing for them.  "We should escape when we wake up," Dean said quietly.

"Hide from the fussing girls," Xander agreed with a yawn of his own.  Dean gave his head a shove.  "Sorry, no one gave me a toothbrush yet."

"That's okay."  They drifted off together.  Upstairs, Abby was doing the same thing on her lab couch.  Sammy and Dawn were napping in the sunny part of the library.  It was a good day to nap apparently.

Ethan gave their privacy curtain a long stare.  "Someone really should unlink them all.  Soon.  Before they start to get symbiotic."  He looked around.  "Can I call someone?"

"Dial nine," House called.  "No international calls."

"Thank you."  He picked up the phone and did as instructed, calling the number he had once looked up in San Francisco.  Just in case.  "Is Prue there please?  Oh, dear, sorry.  Um, one of her sisters perhaps?  Ethan Rayne.  Tell them I'm staring at a most odd mish- mosh problem."  He was put on hold then a shrill voice demanded to know what he was doing on the base.  "They rescued those of us the Initiative had earlier," he said quietly.  "Has anyone looked at the links going on around here?  No, I'm staring at Harris, who has two different sets.  One due to the possessions last night, and me admittedly so they could rescue us this morning.  The other appears to go to the delightful young woman who came to make sure the wards wouldn't hurt me further earlier.  Yes, Dawn.  No, I have promised not to do anything harmful inside the wards.  I'm also healing.  Yes, someone should.  Before they become symbiotic.  Exactly.  The infirmary.  Where else would we be?"

House came over and took the phone.  "Phoebe?"  He smiled.  "Sorry, Paige.  Had to guess.  The ghosts last night possessed Dean. Abby, and Xander to make them some super geek toys.  I know there's rumors of a working light saber and possibly a proton pack."  She said something quietly.  "Somehow it linked those three last night.  There's still the bond from the incident before I got here as well.  They did try.  They may not have succeeded.  I'm not sure.  No, he's being a good patient.  Even if he did break my rules to expand Xander's bed so it was big enough for him, the girls, and Dean."  She giggled.  "He blocked off his I think.  Please do.  We're here and we do have a lot of patients here.  I'll tell you when you get here.  Healing spells, temporal folds....."  She babbled something and hung up.  He smirked as he hung up.  "Nice work, Rayne.  They do love to fuss over him and Dawn."  He limped back to his chart reading, making another note.  He went to check that patient, finding her doing better for now.  He was hopeful that one would survive.  Especially with the new doctors coming in today.

Piper appeared and came over to look at Xander.  "What did you do this time?" she demanded.  Xander glared at her.  "Do not give me that look, young man.  I will treat you like my son."  He growled and put his head back down.  She knocked them both out then looked at their auras.  She sighed and went to get what she needed from Dawn's supplies.  Then she'd work on the longer term one.  It could only be eased but the new one was leaking back into the old one through Dean and Xander.  No wonder Sam and Dawn were napping in the library and hadn't called them.  She got done and both boys sighed and smiled in their sleep.  She cleaned up her mess.  "They should be fine.  Xander basically put a padlock on his magical gift so he can't use it unless he's really desperate.  It was a good job; it even kept earlier spells from continuing to drain him.  I also refirmed up the shield over his mind so no more possessions again."  She went to find John Winchester, finding him in the lab of all places.  "I didn't know you were a techie."

He jumped, turning to stare at her.  "Piper."  He smiled, shaking her hand.  "Which one?"

"Xander and Dean.  I need to fix the other one, just in case some of it remains."  He pointed at the couch in the office so she went to deal with her contagion from Xander.  She came back ten minutes later.  "Not only did they all get possessed by the same two spirits, which I removed, Xander managed to use that bond to suck part of the living souls up too."  John moaned, shaking his head.  "He's fine.  He also padlocked any magical talent he may have.  So unless he's desperate he's out of that game."

"His seer ability?"

She shrugged.  "No idea.  That's one of those fickle talents.  Just ask Sam."  He nodded at that wisdom.  "It also kept the leaking magic problem from going on."  She gave him a look.  "It's very cute that Dean and Xander are handcuffed together on the bed in the infirmary though.  Is he stating a choice?  His growl said the hyena was sniffing.  I reassured her and she went back to her enclosure again."

"No, most likely she was discontent with the last possessions.  He had Rayne, Travers, and the two geek ghosts last night."

She moaned.  "Poor kid.  Well, he's fixed now.  No more problems there for a while. The older one we need to examine better."  He nodded quickly at that, making her smile.  "It's not making you happy?"

"Not unless Dawn wants one and Xander wants the other."

"Xander and Dean would be fairly explosive together," she offered.  "He and Sam might be a bit at odds at first but Sam would end up treating him like he does his brother because they're so much alike.  Dawn said she thinks of Xander like a brother so she can't go there."

"That's fine.  It'll happen however it does.  Faith's too."  He nodded.  "Come to look at the toys too?"

"I did.  It sounds like they had a great time building."

"Inside a time distortion field," McKay told her.  "I know you."

"I'm one of Dawn's teachers."

"Ah.  Is the spell still here?"

She looked then finished banishing it.  "Xander isn't a magical person.  It was one of the possessions he had."  She came over to look, oohing at a few things.  "That's pretty cool."

"It is," John Sheppard agreed with a grin.  "They're going to be okay?"

"They'll be fine."  She smiled.  "Need to get home?"

He nodded.  "Sometime soon.  As soon as he can finish up the plans."

"That's fine.  Dawn's in the library taking a nap."

"We'll get her after dinner probably," John said.

"She's fine to go whenever you are as long as there's not a whole lot of others that she has to do."

"I still don't understand how that gift works," McKay complained.

She smiled.  "A small part of every spell is belief."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Are you running a fever?  You're flushed and warm."  He shook his head.  Though he did check, never could be too careful about those things.  Both Johns nodded.  "Go see someone before you get really sick.  After all, she said you're important wherever you're working."

"I am.  I'm the head scientist."

"Then you can't afford to be sick.  Go get medicine."  He sighed but did that.

"I feel the same way about the stubborn girls," John Winchester told her.

She smiled. "I'm figuring it's a parent thing."  She waved and orbed out.

John stared.  "How did she do that?"

"Magic," he said.

John nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Can I do that?"

"Who knows.  Ask Dawn."

"I can do that."  They shared a smirk then John got back to the plans.  They could use a few of them on base.  The other scientists and the doctor would love to have a working light saber.

***

Gibbs sent over his report a few days later and the president gathered it to read over.  "This is bad," he told Gibbs.

"Did it translate itself, sir?"

"Not the language, Jethro. The facts."  He looked at the camera.  "They're in jail?"

"I presented that to the judge.  He gave them life.  They're all humans so they can be moved back to a regular prison.  They're highly offended being in the same prison as demons."

"I'll see what we can arrange so you don't have the urge to kill them."

"Too late."

"I understand why, Jethro.  Are they healing all right?"

"They're healing fine.  The docs are optimistic about all but one of the humans and one demon at the moment.  His clan took him back and they're not happy either.  Mesesr explained what happened and what we found, how we rescued them and we didn't know or it would've been done years ago.  They decided it wasn't our fault or the government's fault, only the researchers' fault since they were hiding it.  With them in jail, it's seen as a reasonable and good thing so they won't attack them unless they find they've escaped.  The other demons got the same talk.  Two aren't from clans but one did have a husband.  He's babying her even though he's moved on and remarried.  His new wife is appalled but she agreed the poor thing needs help.  We made sure the healers knew where they were going and had healers nearby or some sort of medical facility.  They all do.  The last one's got a pretty good infection but his people don't believe in medicine.  Anything more than stitches and bandages is bad."

"I've met humans like that."

"So have I," Jethro agreed.  "He's growling but quietly.  Mostly because they're trying to find a pain killer that'll work but not kill him.  The others are doing relatively well.  They'll be released from the infirmary here over the next few weeks.  Those who've woken up have called their family or friends to let them know they are alive.  The same thing got explained to them.  I don't think most of them want to sue, but I have no idea, sir."

The president nodded.  "That's good to know.  Not that I'd blame them.  I'd go on CNN for this."  He put down the report.  "The last few?"

"Rayne developed some brain swelling due to an infection.  They're working on it.  They're also planning on how to get him and Rupert Giles together so he can punch him.  Repeatedly."

"Again, reasonable."

"Harris is fine as well.  Doing the healing spell that Rayne compulsed him to do plus the one the ghosts did to make him build more things drained him pretty far.  He's barely been released back to his own bed."

"Doesn't he get hurt a lot?"

"Not really.  He's come to work limping a few times and insisted he was fine, sir.  He hardly ever takes time off."

"Huh.  One of those."

"Yes, one of us," Jethro said dryly, cracking the president up.  "In other good news, O'Neill is out of the hospital.  Jackson said to tell you that."

"Even better.  I'm sure their nurses are relieved."  He looked at the report then at him.  "Captain Finn and his people?"

"You can try them or we can try them, sir.  They're on permanent duty assignment.  It's basically a sentence to help however they can."

"I'm still seeing what we can do, Jethro.  If anyone gets antsy, let me know?"

"Of course."

"Thank you.  Are you all right?"

"I'm tired, sir, but I'll have a nap soon.  It's been a long few days.  By the way, Jackson said the new geek toys aren't for rent to defense contractors.  He thinks most of them are too powerful."

"Too powerful?"

"The ghosts of the geeks wanted them to build a proton pack like on Ghostbusters, sir."

He thought back.  "Wasn't that a nuclear application?"

"Abby said it's a proton accelerator, sir.  It's compact, weighs about forty pounds, is matte black."

"I see."  He frowned.  "No, probably not useful."

"The lifelike robot may be but Japan would want that more.  They had another one and are willing to share their methods with others.  The people we borrowed from O'Neill to make sure they didn't blow up the state doing that went home with plans.  They do like the light saber however."

"Light saber?"

"Yes, sir, like Jedi use."

The president smirked.  "Tell me you're joking, Jethro?" he demanded tolerantly.  Jethro lit it up and he moaned.  "Never mind.  I doubt our defense people want us to use light sabers in the field.  Any idea if the technology is applicable elsewhere?"

"Not a clue, sir.  Ask Abby."

"I'll do that in a few days, Jethro.  Is Jackson hanging around?"

"Getting coffee, sir."

"I'll call after some rolaids.  Give me a final report soon, Jethro."

"That is."  That got a smile and a nod of thanks before he hung up.  Jethro looked at the man across the room.  "He did look tired when I turned it on."  He turned the new toy off and put the handle down.  "So, now what, Jackson?"

"Now, things get back to normal after we send Travers to the soul crypt in New York.  Fortunately Don had to go visit his father so he's doing that."  He smirked, sipping his coffee. "Thanks for covering."

"He looked like he needed a nap."  He made sure it was hung up before standing up and heading out to bother the Winchesters.  He had a lot to learn and he wasn't getting any younger.

Daniel sat behind his desk and called Jack to see how he was.  "You feeling better?"

"I'm pretty decent actually.  Sheppard and McKay get back all right?"

"Yesterday.  With plans."

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled.  That's probably why I got a girlish squeal from Carter earlier."  He smirked and Daniel smirked back.  "Election day is when?"

"The first Tuesday of next month."  He checked the calendar.  "Seven days."

"Wow."  He sighed.  "What happens if we get moved under you guys?"

"Less paperwork, Jack, and you'll be my AD over that area."

"Gee, thanks."

"Welcome."  He smirked.  "Which one do you think Sam's working on?"

"No telling with her."  He sipped his coffee.  "I feel old."

"I know.  So do I, Jack.  So do I."  He looked outside.  "Binky's playing tag with one of the guards by chasing him down to horn him.  Again.  Wonder what he did this time."

"Is she still anti-smoking?"

"Very.  Her and George.  The girls think it's cute."  He smirked and Jack smirked back.  House would take care of the guy in a few minutes they were sure.  It'd give him a chance to finish teaching the new guy the standard issues they had.  Hopefully.  The new guy was kinda uptight.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Old Habits.

Faith was running PT with the youngest slayers when she heard an engine coming their way.  She stared as the motorcycle parked and the obviously female body took off her helmet to shake out her hair.  It was cropped short but dark.  She had two earrings in the side she could see.  She was wearing opaque black tights and a pair of mid-calf shiny leather boots with real heels on them.  The black leather jacket went well with it.  The skirt was satin of some sort, that's all she could tell at that distance.  "Girls, looks like we have another of you," she decided, making the girl smirk at her.  "Hey."  She walked over.  "Faith, second senior slayer."

"Shea."  She shook her hand.  "Gunter found me but we decided I'd do better at home.  He thought I might be a bit distracting to the girls."

Faith snorted.  "Not really.  You in for good, just for a visit, needing help?"

"Checking it out to see."

"That'll do.  Ladies, let's get me Xander and Wes please?" she called.  The three young ones took off and one did go find Wesley for her.  "Did Gunter tell you anything?"

"Not a lot."  She climbed off.  "Can I park her here?"

"Be safer if you put her next to the dorm.  There's a few parking spots.  Park her between the Impala and the truck but if you even think about scratching it they'll kill you."

"I'd do the same to my baby."  She restarted the engine and moved her bike where ordered, then climbed off and unzipped her jacket, showing a velvet bustier with very thin straps.  "No, I'm not cold," she said dryly.

Faith shrugged, pointing at her own leather pants.  "Xander and Wes agreed long ago that we're all individuals who deserve a real life, no matter what some of the old timers thought."

"Even better."

"You had better not have scratched my car," a male voice yelled.

"I'd never damage my baby that way," she called back.  "But if you ask really nicely I might pose on the hood for you."  She turned, then gaped.  "Dean?"

"Shea?"  He smirked and came over to give her a hug.  "Problem hunt?"

"No.  Gunter found me ages ago but the 'rents wanted me home to train."

"Huh.  Well, you're here now.  How's your mom?"

"Boring as piss.  The same as usual.  You guys?"

"We're all here.  We're the training committee for the slayers."

"Damn, that kinda sucks to be you guys."

"Nah, it's like Dad gave us tons of sisters."  Faith pinched him.  "And a few naughty ones.  Wait until you meet Brenda.  She's the closest thing to a natural Winchester female in generations."

"Wow."  She smirked.  "Yes, my parents are hunters."

Faith shrugged.  "That means you won't need that much training."

"We hope," Sam said as he came over.  "Shea."

"Sammy."

"Sam," he corrected.

She snickered.  "You poor thing," she cooed, pinching him on the cheek.  "Is Dean being a big meany and picking on you again?"

"Still," he said dryly, giving her a short hug.  "Xander's coming after he gets off the phone.  Let's go inside where it's warmer?  This is the girls' dorm so you'll have a room in here."  He walked her inside.  "School?"

"GED last year.  Been out for a while now.  Couldn't stand the lecture classes."  She smirked at him.  "You?"

"I was in my last semester Pre-Law at Stanford when the demon who did our mom killed my girlfriend," he said quietly.

"We always knew you were the smart one."  She gave his wrist a squeeze.  "You need help with that project?"

"Nah, we got it recently.  Dad!"  He smirked at her.  "He's gone now."  John and Annabelle came out of the office.  "Why are you out of school?" he demanded, staring at her.

"The teacher told me to go away because I gave her another migraine asking questions."  She shrugged and looked at the new girl.  "Hey."

"Hi."  She smiled as she held out a hand.  "Shea."

"Annabelle."  She shook it.  "Don't try to flip me or anything.  I'm coming off a broken leg."

"That's cool.  I only do that to Deanny."

She smirked.  "It's good to know that my spot as the most evil slayer won't be challenged by you but you can join me in cackling pleasingly while we make Dean blush."

Shea burst out laughing, nodding.  "Could happen, yeah.  He ever tell you about the time John dropped them off and Dean was *so* annoying my mom handcuffed him and made him play dolls with me?"

"No wonder you hate girl things," Faith quipped.

Dean nodded.  "She's the reason."  Xander walked in.  "Xander, this is one of the slayers.  Shea."

He stared at her then held out a hand.  "I got the report from Gunter."  She shook it.  "You still have to pass testing but we can set you up.  You have any immediate needs, like no clothes for tomorrow?"

"I've got my hunting kit on my bike."

"That's cool.  John, is there an open room?"

"Just the one but it's filthy."

"We can clean," Annabelle sighed.  Xander stared at her.  "I was asking the science teacher about why chemicals reacted.  What made them mix, react, and all that.  She got frustrated and got another migraine."

"The school is very amused," John told him.  "They said she's probably too smart for her grade but she's being kept there due to her geography grade."

"Yay me.  We can't all be good at everything," she pouted.  "Next year's science sucks anyway."

Xander sighed, looking at her then at John.  "The school wanted to skip her?"

"No, the school wants to change the science teacher desperately.  The same person teaches all the years.  The next year is doing plants.  Since she's been helping Abby and the other forensic people, she's been absorbing advanced and chemical sciences."

"Huh.  Will they skip her?"

"No.  Too late in the year," John admitted.

"Is there a better school that might become an option?"

"Not in town.  Out of town is a small, private, religious school.  Not sure how good their education is or if they take non-church members."

"Okay."

"I'm not going to live with the icky, nasty ones," Annabelle said firmly.

"You're too young to go to Cleveland anyway," Xander shot back.  She beamed at that.  "Can you go clean Shea's room?"

"Yes, Xander."  She went to do that.

"We'll talk about school stuff later, Anna."  He looked at her.  "She's bored so she skips."

"I was never a school sort but to each their own."

Xander smiled.  "That's good to know.  Go get your bag."  She went to do that.  "Which room was that nasty?"

"The one Rona slept in the last time.  We removed the sheets but the bed got slimed too.  It's crusty and needs to be peeled off.   Unless we take one of the girls in Cleveland's room away?"

Xander considered it then called out there.  "Hey, Rona, got a new girl in.  She's either got to take that tiny room on the end or one of you have to give yours up and split it if you're back on base with another girl."  She said that and one girl gave hers up.  "Thank you.  Tell her I love her and why isn't she in school?"  Rona quipped something then hung up.  "Amber is out there.  She said she got kicked out today?"  John nodded.  "For?"

"One of the basketball team tried to grope, told her if she had a real man she'd give up the girlfriend," Dean said grimly.  "He needs a cast on that arm and hand.  She's got two days out of school suspension and asked Dawn to send her."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Okay, good to know.  Terri said she'd give up hers.  So did Rona."

"That'll work."  John went to tell Anna, picking the better room nearer to the parking lot for the new girl.  "Shea," he called out a window.  "Come drop stuff."  He helped Anna clean it up.  She came in and looked then smiled.  "One of the girls in Cleveland permanently gave up her room so you wouldn't have the tiny one."

"The washer and drier are up the hall in the room that looks like it should be a bathroom but isn't," Anna told her.  "The bathroom's at the end of the hall and it's a mad rush most mornings.  Since you're not in school maybe you can wait a bit?"

"That'll work for me," she promised with a smile.  Anna grinned back.  "Any other advice?"

"John confiscates stuff if you steal panties or other things from the agents or if you have naughty things like Dawn."  Shea laughed.

"I do.  The girls are all treated like they're mine," he said bluntly, staring her down.

She smirked.  "You're one of the toughest parents I know, John."

"It's not getting any better either.  We were positively heathens next to how strict he is with the girls," Sam said as he walked in.  "Sheets."  She took them with a smile.  "When you're ready, we can go test your skills.  You have to meet up to skills to be put on a hunting patrol."

"I have hunted on my own," she defended.

He smirked.  "Standards are higher here.  Not only our ways but also self-defense, brawling, weapons work...."

"Shit," she said.  Anna laughed.  "You're joking, right?"

Anna shook her head.  "Nope.  We all learn crossbows and shotguns and swords and machetes and all sorts of weapons.  Xander even taught us how to use a blowgun if we have to."  Shea stared at her.  She smirked and nodded.  "Then Dean does our self-defense and fight training.  Sam does demonology lectures.  John's the dad.  Xander teaches and watches over us.  Wes is over patrols and who goes on hunting things.  Giles is rebuilding the Council and we ignore him because he's a bastard."  John swatted her.  "He is!"

"Language.  Good girls don't swear."

"Yes, sir."  She looked at the new girl again.  "We're like sisters.  Sometimes we fight, sometimes it's okay.  Sometimes I prank someone for breaking into my room."  Sam got her this time.  "Hey!"

"You sent her to the infirmary with a panic attack, Anna."

"She put bugs in my bed."

Shea nodded.  "Yeah, we're like sisters here.  Anything good I should know?" she asked them.

"You'll age out at twenty-three," John said quietly.  She beamed at that.  "We feed you all you can eat here."

"That sounds good."  She walked them back downstairs, finding a more uptight young man standing there.  She whistled.  "Better than Gunter was."

Wesley looked over then smirked.  "Shea."

"You must be Wesley.  He described you well."

"Gunter did paint on the weekends."  He shook her hand.  "Why come now if it's not too nosy?"

"My mother's a bitch."

"Ah.  We do hear of that now and then.  A few that we found who stayed home have shown up for shorter training times so it's not that unusual.  Are you settled in?"

"I can unpack later."

"Excellent.  Should you perhaps change so we can gauge where your training is?"

She grimaced. "I hunt in this, Wesley."

Xander nodded.  "Then we can test you in that.  You can do it in sneakers during practice.  The drill is me, Dean, then Faith.  If you can match Faith you're fully passed on that skill.  You'll only have to spar to stay in practice.  If you pass Dean you're onto the more advanced hunter training.  More techniques, other methods of kicking butt, that stuff.  If you pass me, you move onto Dean's training.  If you don't we move you more heavily so you can protect yourself if something bad happens."

"Sounds fair.  I can shoot a gun."

"Good.  What about a crossbow?" Xander asked.  "Short or long sword?  Battle axe?"  She shook her head slowly.  "Machete?"

"That I can do."

"Good.  Staffs?"

"Barely.  I learned a few times."

"Good.  Throwing knives?"

"I'm good with knife fighting but I can't throw."

"Good to know," Faith agreed.  "Stakes?"

She grimaced.  "Doesn't that not work?"

"Works wonders on all but three species of vamps out of eleven," Sam told her.

"Damn."

"Like a knife only thicker and a smaller target," Xander told her.   "We'll work on it.  I'm over all the training, plus support, daily life, those things.  Wesley is over patrol schedules, some of the other admin tasks.  Giles is in Cleveland and he handles most admin tasks.  Now, college?  Since I heard you had a GED?"

"I do but school sucks."

"There's a good vocational school in town," John offered.

She nodded.  "I might think about that.  It'll keep me from training all day."

Dean nodded.  "That'll work.  Let's hit the gym since the wind picked up again."  They went to test her.  Xander started and she held her own against him, kinda.  "Go all out with him," Dean ordered.  "He's worked with slayers for a very long time, Shea.  He knows you're extra strong and speedy."  She dropped into slayer mode and went at him.  Xander put her down twice in a row then flipped her over into a cuffing position.  She moaned.  "Okay, so you have some stuff to learn."  She got up and tried again.  She got him against a wall but he ducked to the side, got behind her and pinned her, holding her there.  Dean smirked at him.   "Not bad, Xander."  Xander smirked back before letting her go.

"So I guess I'm yours, huh?" she asked Dean.

"Dad first then me," he corrected.  "Then we'll move you on.  You have a lot of the basics but we like sneaky and more moves that take advantage of your gifts.  You'll be in my class within a month."

She nodded.  "I can accept that."   She looked at Faith.  "You're that good?"

"I'm not B but I'm damn good," she agreed with a smile.  "You will be too some day soon."  Brenda walked in.  "Are you cutting class?" she asked.  "That's my job, not yours."

Brenda snorted, shaking her head.  "No, the school got shut down due to a death threat to a teacher."

"By?" John asked.

"Her boyfriend.  He showed up with a gun and Kim nearly took his head off.  So I'm done for the day and I can study some more for the math test I know I'm going to fail."

Xander looked at her.  "If I could pass math with a D minus, you can pass math with at least a C since you're smarter and better in school than I am," he said firmly.

"Yes, Xander."  She looked at the new girl.  "Newly found?"

"I was training at home since my parents are demon hunters.  Shea."

"Brenda."  They shook hands.  "I like the skirt.  The satin and the little ruffle makes it look cute."  She smiled.  "Did John nag you about the shoes?"

"He only nags you about heels," Faith said dryly.  "I'm guessing that comes from being a Winchester by adoption, Little B."

Brenda stuck her tongue out at her.  "Just for that, you have to help me shop."

"For?" John asked.

She smirked evilly at him.  "Those of us in the higher years have prom this year."  John whimpered.  "You have a bunch of fashion plates."  She grinned at Xander, who whimpered.  "And I got asked so I can go."  She beamed at Dean then at Faith.  "What do you do at the prom?"

"Dance," Sam said.  "I don't know.  Xander?  You went to yours."

"With Anya.  Dance, they hand out the yearbook awards like the most likely to succeed and those things," Xander told her.  "Buffy got a special award at hers. There's some chips and punch.  You have pictures taken.  It's like a trial run for the wedding reception and finding a dress."

"Ah.  Well, not worrying about wedding dresses."

"You're not getting a hotel room either," Xander assured her.  She looked confused.

"That's so girls and guys can spend the night drinking, partying, and having sex," Dean said.  "Did that part of it."  John swatted him. "Four times," he said with a smirk.

Sam shook his head.  "Don't listen to him."

"There is no drinking underage among the slayers or I spank," Xander said firmly, staring Dean down.

"Never encouraged it, dude."

"Good.  Stick up for me in this decision please?"

"Sure, I can do that."  He looked at Brenda.  "Who's the future corpse?"

"The captain of the football team."

Sam gaped.  "The one with the actual GPA that he earned?"  She smirked but nodded.  "Well, he sounds nice from what I've heard and he kept someone from bullying the younger girls."

"He's okay.  We're studying together."

John looked at her.  "We'll be meeting him soon," he ordered.

"Yes, John."  She gave him a hug then smiled.  "What do I wear to the prom?"

"A big, puffy dress," Dean said.

"They make more slim ones," Xander assured him.  "We'll start to gather catalogs.  Wes or one of the ladies can take you guys so you get something tasteful."

"Bloody hell I will not!" Wesley yelled from somewhere.  "Do not make me take those girls shopping!"

"For the prom, Wes," Faith called.  "Formal stuff and girl stuff shopping that none of the guys could do."

"Ask Abigail, Faith!"  He stomped off to have another headache.

"We should get the docs to check his head for growths since he keeps getting headaches," Xander said thoughtfully.

"I'll tell him you suggest it," Brenda said dryly, giving him a look.

He smirked. "Aren't you going to look so cute in heels?"

"Chastity belt.  Definitely need to invest in a chastity belt," Sam muttered.  Brenda swatted him.  "What?  You'd freak Dad out if you got pregnant.  Even worse than Dean coming home pregnant would."

"No, I think I'd probably freak out more at him being pregnant than her, Sammy," John said, swatting him.  "Behave or help her shop."

"Like I attended mine?" he snorted.

"You can chaperone," she said happily.  "They wanted at least one of us to just in case someone starts a fight or gets too drunk."

"Ask Tony.  He's got that suave, mannered thing down pat," Xander quipped with a grin.

"Think Stella, Calleigh, or Abby could help the most?"

"Catalogs for now, look online to pick out things you want to look at," Xander ordered.  "Then we'll take all of you together to narrow it down.  We need to know by the first of December who's going."  She nodded, going to talk to the ladies of the agency.  He moaned, resting his head on Faith's shoulder.  "Damn it."

"It'll be fine, X.  We'll help them be cute and tasteful instead of slutty.  Because some of the new ones that come in two pieces look like stripper gear with sparkles."

"That's why Wes should go, so they can get tasteful stuff," Xander said, looking at John, who nodded quickly.  "You'll help me make him go?"

"Sure," John agreed.

"Better him than us," Dean agreed quickly.

Sam shrugged.  "I don't have the taste for that.  They won't ask my opinion."  He grinned.  "We get out of that with the ugly t-shirt thing, Xander."

"I'll have to pull them out of the closet," he said, walking off shaking his head.  "Welcome to DCIS, Shea.  I'm going back to my desk if you need anything before dinner."

"Sure."  She waved then looked at Faith.  "Bit of a drama queen."

"Only when the girls traumatize him," Faith said with an evil smirk.  "Weapons tests?"  John nodded, taking her to test her with the weapons they had readily available. Faith came to test her with some of the other things.  She wasn't that great but she'd learn.  Like the rest of them would.

Xander walked into the squad room and Stella glared at him.  "What?" he asked.  He was a bit defensive.

"Prom?"

"They can go as long as there's no apocalypse then but I'll be damned if I'm shopping for formal gowns and shoes.  Bad enough I had to help Anya."

She rolled her eyes.  "It's a rite of passage, Xander."

"I said they could go.  They can't get a hotel room.  They can't get drunk.  They can't use drugs and I'd rather they not go have an orgy.  I'm still not shopping for formal gowns."

"Fine.  We women will pull together to help the girls."

"Good!"  He beamed at her.  "They have to let us know by the first of December if they're going.  That way you guys have time to shop.  Because I know it'll take nearly forever.  I suggested they start with catalogs and online looking."

"It's a good place to start."

"Nothing too slutty if you can?" he asked.

"If possible," she said, rolling her eyes.  He grinned.  "What?"

"New girl came today."

"Is she nice?" Horatio asked.

"So far.  Her name is Shea.  She's about seventeen if I remember right but she's got her GED so she'll be around base or possibly in Vo-Tech.  She has a motorcycle."

"We'll make sure we watch for her to zip around," Don Flack said happily.  Faith walked the girl in to give her the tour and introduce her to them.  "Taking a break in testing?"

"She snapped the string on the crossbow.  They're fixing it," Faith said.  "After you cute ones I'm going to take her out to the temple of cuteness."  Shea gave her an odd look.  "The pets."  She waved a hand around. "Their squad room.  That's Don, Danny Messer, Ryan, Speed or Timmy, depending on person, Eric the slutty toy, Horatio, Calleigh is the blonde lady, Stella's the other lady, you know Xander.  Taylor's in the corner with someone doing a report."  She looked around then pointed.  "That's Tony's desk.  He's the second guy in charge.  X is the third.  The head guy's a Danny too.  He's in the office moaning at a form."  She walked her that way.  "Hey, boss?"  He looked up.  "This is Shea, the new girl."

"Hi, Shea."  He stood up and came to shake her hand.  "Welcome to the base."

"Thank you.  You guys are really well set up."

"The president that commissioned us used his full term to get us set up."  He smiled.  "Show her the library too, Faith."

"Of course; all the necessary areas."  She smiled as they walked out.  "He's super cool and he's a languages guy.  Speaks something like thirteen or so.  Knows twenty-six enough to read."  Shea moaned at that.  "Yeah, super, huge brain."  She pointed.  "Library."  That got a nod.  "Second floor is the lab.  Abby runs the lab and she's like a big sister to most of the girls.  She answered a lot of girl questions."  That got a nod.  "Let's take you down to the infirmary.  Are you on any meds?"

"Not really."

"I ask because we're all on the BC somehow to stop the slayer blood drawing nasties issue."

"Ah.  That one.  I'm on the shot for that but I can find the health department."

"Why?  Our docs do it for us," she said with a grin. "We're switching docs at the end of the month.  The new guys are in but we'll have to see."  She walked her down there.  "Yo, guys?"  They all looked at her.  "This is Shea, the new girl that just showed up.  She had been training at home."

House looked her over.  "Pains, aches, anything we need to be aware of already?"

"Not at the moment.  Thank you for asking," she said politely.

"Birth control?" House asked.

"Depo."

"Good.  When are you due?"

"Six weeks."

He nodded.  "Give us the name of the place with your records so we can get them for the staff here.  We do all that for the girls."

"Why?"

"Slayer blood draws nasty things," Faith told her.  "A few of the girls have had to fight their way out of the mall after scrapes.  Having the monthly demon drawing problem isn't healthy for us."

She nodded once.  "Okay."  She came in to write down her doctor's name and the name of the health department.  "That's mine."

"Good," Chase said, earning a double-take.  He smirked.  "Yes, I'm Australian.  No, I don't own any sheep.  Xander asked."

She smirked.  "Good to know."  She looked at House again.  "Any other nosy questions?"

"Had all your shots, including the HPV?" House asked.

"Haven't had that.  That's the one on tv all the time, right?"  He nodded. "It's offered?"

"Some of the girls are a bit nasty and this state is trying to make it mandatory for entering school so we gave it to all the girls," Chase told her.  "If you want we can give it to you."

"I'll probably take you up on that offer."  They all smiled.  "Faith promised me cuteness."  She waved.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem," House said.  He watched her go.  "Awww, I managed to freak one out," he said once she was gone.

Chase looked at him.  "I don't see why you're so proud with how often you do it to everyone else."

House smirked at him.  "For that, call and get her records, wombat."

"Yes, House."  He went to the office to do that.

***

Shea looked at the little creatures watching them walk over.  "Are those what I think they are?"

"Unicorns," Faith agreed.  "They're two of the three pets.  The gray one is Binky, you can pet her if she likes you even if you're not a virg.  Digger's the other and only virgs get to pet him."

"Um.  Sure," she agreed, backing away slowly.  "What's the other pet?"

"We have a growing shrub demon.  He's harmless unless you try to hurt someone.  Then he's got some poisoned spines.  Hole in the ground," she warned.  Shea stepped over it and then turned and fled.  "She must not be used to cuteness, guys."  She petted Binky and smiled at Digger.  "If I had it, I'd pet you too."  He snuffled her arm then headed off to play in the snow.  Faith went to get a ball from the gym, coming out to toss it down for them.  "Thought you were bored."  She kicked it and then Digger kicked it.  Binky came over to play too.  Abby came out to watch when a guard called her and she had her video camera.  That was so cute!  Unicorn soccer.

***

Buffy heard her phone beep, opening it to look at the message.  "New email from Abby.  Unicorn soccer?" she said.  The girls all came over to watch the video on her laptop.  They all giggled at the cuteness.  "We need to find them more toys.  They're still pretty little."

"We can go look," Rona offered.  "Wonder if the new girl saw."  Buffy gave her a look.  "One of the ones the first guy going to look for girls found.  Her parents were demon hunters if I remember right so she stayed at home to train there.  I ended up giving up my room on base to her since we're out of room."

Buffy nodded.  "She sounds nice enough.  Guess we'll find out soon enough.  Let's see how she does on rotation."  She called out there.  "Hey, John, it's Buffy.  Do we need to rotate the new girl out here for some experience?"  She listened.  "That makes sense.  Some hunters have less skills in some areas so a few months of training time should do her good.  Sure, we're here.  Tell Abby the film is widely cooed over here and she should send it to Cordette too.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "She doesn't have all the weapons skills she needs and she needs some one-on-one training time with Dean and Faith before she can come out.  Apparently her parents don't do as much running as we do.  Though he said she rides a motorcycle."

"She sounds cool," Amber said.  "I'll send you guys piccies later tonight."  She gave them a hug.  "Thanks, Kennedy."

"Not a problem, Am.  It's all good to us."  She smiled and Dawn opened the portal so she could go home.  They all waved and Kennedy reached over Buffy's arm to replay the footage.  It was adorable!

Willow walked off, shaking her head.  Too cute for her tastes.  Though, she remembered liking cute things like that.  She would've squealed and bounced at one point in time.  Maybe she had changed too much.  She wasn't the same Willow she was before she had met Buffy, or even after she had met Buffy.  She wasn't even the same Willow as she had been when Tara had been her snuggly one.  Tara's ghost had been right about that.  She needed to take a long look at herself and change herself back.

***

John stopped Thomas later that night.  "Question about the Halloween thing."  He nodded, looking attentive.  "Why didn't my wife show up?  Sam's did.  The others did."

"Three good possibilities there.  She's moved onto a higher plane than he could call back.  She may be bound somewhere or might have been needed to give messages to someone else.  Or it's possible she's been reborn.  A few souls are reborn."

"She had been tied to our old house but we know she's moved on from there."

"How recently?"

"Within the last two years."

"Then it's entirely possible that she's either moved past this more shallow plane of existence and couldn't get back or she's been reborn."

John smiled.  "She might like that."

"She may," he agreed.  "We'll have to wait and see.  If so, the soul may find some kinship with you.  I have no idea who decides which ones come back or if it's voluntary."  He nodded at that.  "Is Samuel all right?"

"He's fine, Thomas.  They talked.  She gave him permission to move on.  So we'll see."  The other man smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're most welcome.  When will the new one be shown around in my area?"

"Tomorrow."  He smirked.  "She can research.  I know because I taught her."

"Good."  He patted him on the arm as he walked around him.  "Have a good night, John."

"You too."  He went to look something up.  He knew the right section.  He'd been browsing it recently for the answer to that question.  He found a spell that would tell him if she had moved on or not.  Dawn might be wiling to do it for him.

***

Shea walked into dinner that night, nodding at the younger girls.  "Ladies."

"Girls, this is Shea," Faith said.  "We knew about her but he parents were like less evil Johns so we left her there."  They all waved.  "She's in Rona's old room.  So let's not try to prank the new girl.  Got me here?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Little B, send down a plate or two?"  She passed them down from the stack and they sat down to eat.  "X?"

"Case," Dawn said grimly.  "Not a happy looking case either.  Looks like someone's stealing magical supplies in LA.  Crissy got it reported to her but they hit both targets."

"So team case?" Dean asked.  She nodded.  "Dangerous?"

"Depends on what they want them for," Dawn admitted.  "We're still trying to figure out why they stole what they did.  They stole some stuff that isn't supposed to go together."  That got a sigh and a nod.

"If you had to guess off the top of your head, what're they doing?" John asked.

She considered it.  "Some of them are for a revival, like what Willow did to Buffy.  None of them are healing herbs but two are used in fire spells.  The last one I can't even find a mention of so I'm guessing whatever spell hinges on that."

John nodded.  "Could it be a resurrection spell?"

"If so, why?  And who?  We're not sure how yet."

"They'll figure it out.  They always do," Faith pointed out.  She handed food off to Shea.  "There, eat.  We all eat like beasts."

"Good to know."  She dug in, watching the other girls watch her.  Soon enough someone would be brave enough to talk to her.

"She's not going to be more evil than me," Annabelle said a few minutes later.  They all relaxed and stared to ask her questions.  Faith told them how she ran from the unicorns but that was all right.  Not everyone dealt in squishy, happy emotions.

"They like to cuddle," Sam warned with a grin.  "Binky climbed up in Xander's bed in the infirmary."

"Didn't that hurt his injuries?"

"Nah, his were all internal.  She got comfy and snuggled in for a lot of sleepy petting."

"I'll get used to them," she said.

"We all did," one of the girls down the table agreed.  "They're so cute!" she squealed.

"Speaking of, ladies," Sam said, getting attention.  "Brenda brought to our attention the prom is this spring."  A few smirked.  "Those who want to go, let us know by the first of December so we can plan shopping trips.  Do some looking first so you have an idea of what you want to wear and in what color so you don't have to try on every dress in the store.  Ask any of the girls for their opinions but remember what we three and Xander will dress you in."

"Including locking chastity belts with a combination and a keypad lock," Dean quipped before eating a bite of hamburger.  They all glared at him.  He smirked back.  "No hotel rooms.  No drinking, no drugs, no orgies were the rules set down."

"That seems pretty fair," Dawn decided.  "Where would they go to shop?"

"The next town over has a bridal shop," Don called.

"So we can look there," Brenda decided.  Don gave her an odd look.  "I got invited."

"Cool."  He grinned and she grinned back.  "Remember to plan things like all going to the hairdresser and all that stuff."  They groaned but nodded and made a detailed plan of how to attack this problem.  It wasn't much different than a battle plan, simply spread out in months instead.

***

Xander came back from his case a few days later exhausted.  He walked out of the garage and ran into Faith.  "Can I take a nap before you hit me with the problem?" he asked, seeing the disgusted look on her face.  "I know I stink and I need to shave," he said when she didn't say anything.

"Not that, X.  The new docs are bad."

"Touching the girls bad?"

"Not quite that bad.  We talked to Jackson and he's trying to find a replacement but the guy thinks we're all some sort of holy virgins.  He refused to fill a few girls' pills.  He insisted that all of us are pure warrior women, like Valkyries."

"None of you can ride horses that I know of," he said, frowning some.

"That too.  Some of us ain't pure either, boytoy."

"Oh, I remember very well," he offered with a grin, giving her a hug.  "Did they get them?"

"Yeah, we called New Jersey and Chase called the local health department, who wrote the 'scripts for us."  Xander grinned at that.  "But he hates you."

"He's only seen me for the one nosebleed that wouldn't stop fast enough."

"He thinks you're promoting us to be less than pure and holy warrior women."

Xander snorted.  "No.  Sorry.  I'm all for putting all of you into locking chastity belts."

"He said we didn't even need our yearly exams because we didn't have a hole."

Xander sighed, going to talk to Daniel himself.  "What can I do to help solve this?"

"The girls are disgusted, Xander."

"With the docs, right?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, not with anyone else.  Stella even went off on them.  They're causing problems.  I'm looking for a new one."

Xander nodded.  "Are you sending me to recruit?"

"No, we need you here.  He reported to social services that you had all the girls put on the pill."

"Yeah, and we had a good reason."

"They agreed but they wanted to talk to you."

He sat down with a sigh of defeat.  "What now?"

"Nothing wrong, just a general check on things."  Xander relaxed at that.  "They looked into the skipping school matter.  Found out why.  Suggested a few ways to help with that.  It's going okay."  Xander beamed.  "This is a fair warning."

"Faith said he thinks I'm corrupting them."

"Yeah, somehow he's got them being holy women warriors knighted by God to do his bidding."

"So they're the holy version of Xena when she found The Way?" he said dryly.

"Basically," he agreed with a grin.  "I'm working on it.  Don't stress.  What happened in LA?"

"Sacramento.  They were stealing in LA to cover their tracks.  It was a lot of investigative work and I think Calleigh's upset that I'm not as good as she is at it.  I did my best.  We stopped the ritual to bring someone back and have Justice demons go after them for whatever crime they committed.  A human on human crime this time and the local prosecutor told her they'd handle it.  So we gave them what we have and left it there."

"Good.  I doubt she's mad at you but I'll talk to her."

Xander nodded. "Thanks, Danny."  He stood up.  "Can I nap or should I worry about dinner?"

"Go nap.  Appear for dinner if you can."  Xander nodded, heading to do that.  Daniel went to find Calleigh, finding her finishing her report.  "Hey.  How'd it go?"  He pulled a chair over to sit next to her desk.

"It..."  She looked at him.  "He jumps to a lot of conclusions before getting evidence."

"He's used to having a fairly small pool that could be the cause of bad things going on.  He's also got intuitive thinking instead of deductive most of the time."

Horatio looked over, then rolled his chair over.  "During the Miami case, Paul said he often played wall for Xander to beat his head against until he came up with an idea."

"He muttered a few times then suddenly came up with something.  Once was a strange direction to go in but it led to a contact that knew the problem instead of being the problem.  The evidence we had was  pretty skimpy and he just seemed to...mutter himself into it.  The detective in charge looked terrified of him.  Encouraged me to watch him more closely too.  The slayers in town were nice.  I met all three of them.  Cordette's a lovely little girl."

"She is," Daniel agreed with a smile.  "Can you work with him?"

"Will he trust me to play wall with me?  I felt like some newbie detective following him around."

Gibbs walked in.  "How was your case with the White Knight?"

She stared at him.  "Huh?"

"That's his official nickname in the demon underground.   The White Knight of Sunnydale.  Now of DCIS."

"Well, hell, no wonder we jumped in and solved two of Epps' cases for him."  Gibbs smirked at her as he came over.  "Is he always jumpy and does he always make strange, ballet-like thought leaps?"

"I watched how he and Tony worked together.  DiNozzo can work with someone like you guys are, who follow every lead down to the shortest cell.  He works great with people who have this very flowing mind though.  Instinct, gut and not, hunches based on small facts  you can't spout off immediately but your mind knows and drops them into place for you, a contact list ten miles wide.  He will drive a by-the-book, procedural person nuts."

"Now and then instincts can be wrong," she said.

"Yes but his will lead you back onto the path even if you do take some strange turns to get there.  Like House's mind did."  She nodded once at that.  "As you two get closer in training, it'll work better.  DiNozzo agreed with me on something, Xander pulls out his uptight, more linear thinking self, when he works with most of the guys on the floor.  Messer and he can flow well together but they rub each other wrong in the field.  Flack too.  Personally I think that's being a New Yorker instead of the California young guy he is."

"He and Mac don't get along that great," Horatio said.  "They're still pretty uptight around each other.  Mac's very by-the-book most of the time."

"Xander's service is sensed by his former instincts," Gibbs agreed.  "Mine too.  Drives us nuts because half the time our instincts are telling us he's a threat but not to us.  We're both working on that.  We get the same thing from all the Winchesters too.  Especially John."

"Interesting," Horatio said, looking at Calleigh.  "Have you gotten any training time in?"

"Very little.  I'm still taking sword and machete lessons with Dean."

"Have Xander go over that with you," Gibbs told her.  "Not that it's his best art, but he'll get you there.  You may end up looking like a modern day Xena with guns, but he'll get you there and it'll help you relax around him because you'll see how he's trained to react to threats.  His usual is to pull a plan out of somewhere south of his beltline."

"Usually with artillery," Horatio said.

"It didn't go badly, it was more like I was following along behind like a rookie," she told them.

"That'll end as he finishes up your training," Gibbs assured her.

"The knowledge we use here is somewhat different than in other jobs," Daniel agreed.  "Definitely the way your mind processes it into how things happened even if some of the root causes of cases are the same."

"Part of that is cultural bias," Horatio agreed.  "I found myself having that problem on my first few."

She nodded.  "That I can see.  Half of the following around part of the case was him telling me how to deal with the various demons."

"Someone nearly ended up with a wife for talking directly to a woman," Daniel told her.

"In this case, we could only talk to the clan leader.  He would interpret.  Xander could speak their language, but the lesser member was not allowed to speak to us.  I have no idea how he got anything out of that talk.  He was making notes as they talked for me."

Gibbs shuddered.  "Language lessons."

"Some are fairly complicated but some are also easy, Jethro," Daniel chided with a frown.

"At my age, learning things from the young pups is supposed to drive me nuts," he shot back.

Calleigh looked at Daniel.  "We can learn them?"

"It's highly encouraged.  Sam and I go over them with the girls while Wesley teaches Latin to those that need it.  We've got good lessons for eight of them out of over fifty.  Xander had us taping all the earlier lessons so they can be used later on and we only had to run one class during the early case days."

"I get some of those, some Latin and one language from Sam, and one from Thomas now and then," Gibbs told her.  "Watchers even use a special form of Latin."

Daniel nodded.  "The girls who were raised by the old council knew how to speak it.  It got them past the language barrier for the first little while.  Most of the others spoke English but three or four didn't that I remember.  Teaching ASL was fun.  Kept me from being bored most of the time."

"You're a stronger man than I am," Horatio told him, getting a smile back.  "The early days around here sound like they were insane."

"Now and then," Daniel agreed, smiling just a bit.  "Tony and Xander kept us from going under, making too many big decisions at once, and kept us sane when the stranger things started to happen.  We didn't get John until after the invasion.  The boys we only had for a few months before then."  They all stared.  "Xander was doing all that but we had the Major and Benny Ray in to help with the lessons for that end.  That's why the girls sneak so well.  They took commando sneaking lessons."

Calleigh giggled.  "You can tell with some of them.  How's the new girl doing?"

"Good," Daniel agreed.  "John gives her funny looks most mornings at breakfast.  She has a very...risque wardrobe at times.  He made her put on a shirt a few times."

"Some women need to flaunt it," she told him.

"Yes, but learning self defense is not the place to wear spike heels and a leather bustier," Daniel shot back with a grin.

"No, it's not."

Horatio smiled.  "She seems very nice.  I do know John was complaining to the girl's father that he hadn't trained her to do a lot of things he should have.  She gave him a dirty look when she heard and went to complain to him.  So he showed her exactly what his boys had been trained to do.  She pouted with some ice cream and got back to self-defense work with Faith, Brenda, and him."

"Brenda's going to be the one training hunters and slayers later on," Daniel agreed.  "She does good with that.  Faith does okay but Brenda is more strict in their training.  Brenda also seems to fit very snugly inside that family.  Which is good for her."

Calleigh nodded.  "Are they still moaning over prom fashions?"

"They're letting the girls tease each other out of too slutty of a dress," Gibbs said.  "Some of the two piece ones a few of the girls like are bras with skirts."

She nodded.  "They have looked that way.  Is Wes having more headaches?"

"No.  We slipped him sedatives, put Wesley on a plane, told the stewardess he was a nervous flier so she'd help, and sent him on a vacation," Gibbs said bluntly.  "He hasn't had one.  His vacation was to come back from Cleveland to here.  He's heading down to slightly oversee the last of the packing up of the Carribean office."  They all smiled at that.  "Xander paid for it and put Caridad in charge of patrol schedules for the next three weeks."

"Good," Daniel agreed.  "I know Wesley needed it."

Gibbs nodded.  "I have no idea how those two ran everything."

"Xander dealt with the major things and had to let some of the important, but more minor details slip most of the time," Daniel told him.  "Like finding the other girls.  He went to talk to the Major about it when they did the location spell for them.  They got a good recommendation of who to send, picked out a few girls to go with them, talked to them, hired them, made them accept the girls going with them, and sent them off.  They're getting the last two at the end of this month.  I have no idea if those girls are coming back here or not.  They might go sub in for Crissy since she's pregnant."

"They found the last two, one wants to stay, one doesn't.  They spent the time to hook the girls there up with locals who could support her, help her train, and got her all the information they could on how to identify, hunt, all that.   All but seven so far have shown up here," Gibbs told him.  "And yes, they're going to stop in Cleveland then hit LA.  Xander and Wesley were thinking about letting the two of them handle Europe and spread a few of the girls that way."

"That's a good thing to worry about," Daniel agreed.  "Can they do that?  Set it up like Cleveland originally was?"

"Xander's already got that worked out.  They're working on finding them a good place to live.  They're going to set up one girl in Rome, and she's native to Italy but had to run from her family who thought she was possessed.  She's apparently setting up things there with Buffy's input.  Buffy's going to travel over to see her and help her for a few weeks later next month.  The ones that were on retrieval duty are going to Vienna.  One of the ones who stayed home is in upper Germany, near the Russian border.  The strike team report said the Russians do know about her, are friendly with her, and will gladly come to her if they need help as well.  She was apparently council trained so she's skilled and she's nineteen.  We can send her a new girl in a few years that's been fully trained to take over for her.  The two on retrieval are both late seventeen.  They were also council trained so they knew what they were doing.  The guys apparently worked on their skills to fill in some gaps.  Probably as good as Dean could do."

"How much did that cost the Council?" Calleigh asked.

"Shitloads out the ass," Xander said as he came in.  "Think Cho would go back home and work?  Wesley had a voicemail asking us to please put a slayer back in Asia."

"It's possible," Gibbs said.  "Why her?"

"She's from the area.  She speaks the language.  She does pretty good at leading.  I called them back and said we could definitely set that up but it'd be about a year before we had anyone trained to be with her.  If they had a current problem we could send a team of girls but most of the girls are a bit too young to go on their own and we wanted someone to watch their backs.  I also said she was not going to be allowed to take part in politics, be used by any government, or be a figurehead doll of any government.  Slayers were outside all that and had to work in all countries, not just theirs.  They agreed but said that might be harder.  We're figuring out where we'll put them.  I'd say somewhere like Japan but I can't be sure that's close enough to the lower Asia problem areas or the ones in Tibet.  Which we probably can't get to.  I did ask them that question and they said the Chinese handle that and we wouldn't be worrying about it."

"Sounds like the usual from that way," Gibbs admitted.  "I can call one of the NCIS offices over there to get someone to suggest where a slayer house should go."

Xander gave him a hug.  "Thank you, Gibbs."

"You're welcome.  Get off."  Xander got off with a back slap and went to his desk.  "The retrieval girls?"

"All four will be back later this week.  They're going to stop in Cleveland, yell at Giles, then hit LA to fill in for Crissy until the usual spring apocalypse.  Their teammates are back in that area so it'll be an easier transition and it'll scare Deadboy to death.  Again.  Connor could use the help anyway at the moment according to him.  By the way, the spring apocalypse is not in LA this year but it is on the east coast.  Which is driving Angel even more nuts than Dru.  They're doing some prep work in LA but no one knows for what.  They've been weeding it down already.  Yes, the artillery build up was part of that.  No, we don't think the demons were going to start a war.  We think they were scared and decided to stock up, just in case."

Daniel shuddered at that phrase.  "Where on the east coast?"

"We'll know by February at the latest usually," Xander told him.  "So far all we know is it comes from the east's morning light."  He gave him a look.  "So far that's all anyone's said to anyone about it.  I made special effort to ask."

"Could be us, could be Europe," Gibbs said, considering it.

"Could be Godzilla for all we know," Xander shot back.  "No clue right now.  By Christmas we'll probably have a name so by February we'll have a place and a possible date.  By March, a plan."

Gibbs nodded.  "Let me help plan?"

"You're a watcher, Gibbs.  You'll be in the field being a commander.  Like the invasion in LA, someone will do the girls, someone will do the agents, and they'll have to work together most likely.  Though I do know this has nothing to do with Buffy dying for a few seconds in Cold Oak.  That we did find out.  They were nervous the First was going to come back but the seal's still sealed and buried in Sunnydale.  I sent a geology team out to check on it through Charlie Epps.  They do it about every six months."

"Good."  He smirked.  "Not bad, kid."

"Thanks.  Sometimes it comes to me," he said smugly.  He looked at Daniel.  "The docs?"

"Haven't heard back from my second choice yet," Daniel admitted. "I'm waiting.  We're working on it, Xander."

"Anna has another x-ray tomorrow," Xander told him.

"I'm going with her and I will smack one of them on the head," Gibbs assured him.  "Who told you?"

"Faith."

"Ah."  He nodded as he walked off.  "She does good work."  He went to check on the girls, finding one of the docs telling them to not eat so much.  "Leave them alone.  They burn it off.  Six of them are still underweight by the charts."  The doctor sneered so he punched him.  "Step off."  The man ran back to the infirmary.  He went to tell Jackson on himself.  It worked better that way around there.  He leaned into the squad room.  "I just punched the lesser idiot doc for telling the girls they ate too much."

"Had enough now," Xander warned, looking at him.  "I get the next blow."

"Works for me," Gibbs agreed, heading off to undo that damage.  They were still girls.  They were fragile sometimes.  Anna was pouting and that was unforgivable in his book.

***

Xander slid through the window and into the nice apartment, letting the window fall shut.

"You can't use a door?" a grumpy voice complained from the bed.

"Hell no.  Your neighbor tried to call a cop."

"She tried on me too."  House turned on the lights.  "What happened?"  He noticed the black eye.  "You came all the way here to get an ice pack?"

"The two docs and I got into a brawl."  He sat on the foot of his bed.  "Wanna come back?  Please?  Danny said whatever bonus you wanted was yours."

"Still not into your type, kid."

Xander snorted.  "They decided the slayers were holy virgin warriors without a hole who had super healing capabilities.  They didn't need to do Anna's x-rays, he didn't need to stitch Faith when she fell on the ice again.  Even though you could see the bone this time.  John stitched it and threw a fit.  They tried to deny treatment to a few agents who had been on a field case and got banged up because that was the girls' duty because they were called by God."

"I didn't think they were that freaky when I chose them," he admitted, sounding tired.

Xander leaned closer.  "House, they're beyond freaky and now they're in jail."

House moaned.  "Damn it."

"Not for the fight, or for the not treating, but for mistreating.  On purpose."  House stared at him.  "Crissy came back for a checkup and thank god Gibbs was still down there with Anna with the way they went off on her.  Gibbs got the local sheriff and CPS into it to arrest the assholes.  Crissy's just barely under eighteen and they said she was fine and happy where she was.  We got called on by them as well.  So the social worker knew and Daniel had told them she was knocked up.  He was drawing medicine out to make her miscarry.  Anna caught him.  Please?  Anything you want, House?  Just another six months and find us someone decent?"

"I can try, kid.  You couldn't call?"

"I'm more charming in person," he said with a grin.   "It's keeping me from beating the shit out of John for the new girl."

"New girl?"

"Another hunter's daughter and John's been running her ragged because her parents did things a different way.  I stepped in to take over her training since he was less than objective.  He's known her since she was little.  Her bodysuit mentality is not high on his happy list."

"She okay?"

"They had a few spectacular shouting matches about hunting demons and how she was good enough to hunt on her own.  Dean and Faith are doing good with her while John goes back to being a daddy again.  Brenda got him calmed down last time by pointing out it was the same as having been half Council trained like most of them were.  We're on the downside of that."  He heard the person in the hallway.  "Visitors this late?"

"Usually not."  He slid out of bed and grabbed his cane, going to open his door before they could knock and his neighbors complain.  "Yes, Officer?"

"Sir, we had reports you were being broken into?"

"That's a former coworker who's begging me to come back.  He won't do it again and he did it because my neighbor's too nosy for her own good."

"Coworker?"

Xander came out and pulled his ID.  "The docs he found for us fragged.  I didn't want to get into it with his very demonic neighbor since she's possessed and I'd have to do something that would bring even more cops and disturb the whole street's sleep," Xander told him.

The cop in the lead winced at the name on the ID then at House.  "You were there?"

"The last six months in the infirmary," he agreed.  "Thank you for your concern.  Xander, which neighbor?"  He pointed across the hall.

"We'll check on her, sir.  She's the one who called."

"I came in through the back window," Xander told him.  "How did she see me?"

They stared then went to check on that before going to talk to her.  They came to get Xander an hour later so he could banish the spirits in her then he went back to talking to House.  Begging was clearly going on.

***

House walked into his office the next morning and found his ducklings.  "They arrested the docs we chose," he told Chase.  "They went creepy and psycho on the girls."

"I heard."

Xander walked in reading something.  "One of them was going to make Crissy miscarry by shooting her up with something."  He looked over at him.  "Please come back?"

Chase smiled.  "I'll consider it."

House nodded.  "We have a meeting with Cuddy later.  After I have more coffee since Xander snuck in last night and then had to help unpossess my neighbor."  He went to the coffee maker and poured some.  "Xander?"

"I'm good.  I had a soda while chanting."  He handed the case over to Chase with a grin.  "The CPS file."

He read it over.  "They called them on you guys?"

"Yup.  Said the girls were holy warrior virgins without needs or want of sex.  That they did not have sexual organs, they were incapable of bearing without a holy decree from God, and that you two had been wrong that they had VD."

"Bet me," House muttered into his coffee.

"Crissy really blew that by being pregnant.  She's showing very well right now."

"Is it healthy?" Chase asked.

"They're doing the needle testing thing soon she said.  She's bringing Connor to break his hand during it because she hates needles."

"Don't much blame her," Foreman said.  "Any good news?"

"I'm not sure Binky's not in heat."  House spluttered.  "We're hoping not because we don't need a whole herd of unicorns.  If so, Digger isn't looking too happy about it so maybe he's gay.  We're not really sure."

House shook his head.  "That's bad."  Wilson walked in with a smile.  "Look who snuck around my possessed neighbor last night."

"Charming."  He smirked at Xander.  "That bad?"

"Oh, so bad, and they're in jail."  He grinned at House.  "If you're here, the apocalypse this spring is somewhere in the east."  House choked at that.  "We're not sure where, yet, but we'll let you know if you're still here."

"Please," Chase agreed.  He handed House the folder, getting it waved off.  So Xander took it back and put it into his waistband.  "How long?"

"Six months, forever and ever?  We'll even let you hit on the older girls, or let them pounce you so you don't feel like you're taking advantage of them.  Gloria offered herself up."

Chase smiled, blushing some as he shook his head.  "I could never be with someone that much younger than I am."

"I didn't get that offer?" House asked.

"Six of the older girls said they would if you'd come back.  Two meant it.  One vowed to try harder to get you this time."

"Anna?" he joked.

"Mary did vow to prank you but no.  Mercada did."

House moaned, shaking his head.  "She's a sweet, quiet girl, very graceful, but still underage."

"Not anymore.  She turned sixteen last week."

"Still too young," Wilson said.  "Most states say eighteen for marriage."

Xander looked at him.  "She doesn't want a ring."

Wilson snickered.  "He told me."  Cuddy walked in.  "You heard?"

"Barely.  What happened?"  Xander handed over the report.  She read it and moaned.  "Oh, no."

"Yeah.  I'm here to be tempting enough to steal at least one of them back.  Hopefully both, maybe more."  He looked at House.  "Your second choice just got busted for heroin use.  Your third is pretty nice but he wants to stay in LA and he's learning a lot from the healers out there.  We like him and his wife, but they both want to stay."

"Which is why I didn't hire him," House said, finishing his coffee.

"If you want to, you can quit and move out there," Cuddy said, handing the folder back.  "Is the pregnant one all right?"

"Gibbs was there and stopped him.  Thankfully."  He looked at House then at her.  "The next apocalypse is somewhere on this coast we think," he told her.  "We won't be stealing him forever unless we have to.  Because if he wants, the girls will handcuff him, but we'll need him able to work on this coast if something happens."

"Here?" she demanded.

He shrugged.  "We're still trying to figure that part out."  He looked at House.   "The artillery case was all just in case weapons.  They're gearing up to fight something with us."

"Aliens?" he asked hopefully.

"No, that's not our job.  That's someone else's job," Xander said dryly.

"I've seen a few MIB types," Wilson quipped.

"Jack," House told him.  Wilson gaped.  "Something like that.  Long range telemetry or something like that in Cheyenne Mountain.  Somewhere under NORAD from my digging."

Xander nodded.  "I can't comment, it's classified."  He looked at Wilson with a grin.  "Let's just say if it is aliens, it's handled and we won't have to worry too much.  The girls might have to go help but if they're too human they might not be able to."

"Good to know."  He sat down.  "So, how long do you think it'll take?"

"Don't know," Xander admitted, looking at House.

"I had it narrowed down to five.  I erased two for being assholes," House sighed.  "The ones in LA are going to be perfect."

"They're taking in residents to teach as they learn," Xander told him, getting a smile from all them.  That would give them later specialists to lean on.  "Please?  I'll get on my knees here and now, House."

"You're still not my type, you don't charge," House shot back.

Xander smirked.  "At least we figured out why those bad girls thought I was."

"Good!  That was driving everyone nuts," Chase complained.

Xander smirked.  "Brenda will some day get hit by it too."

"John's going to cry," House said.  He looked at Cuddy.  "You haven't found me a case in a week."

"Cases come as they come.  I can't help that everything's been colds and flus for the last week."

Chase and House stared at each other the House nodded.  "You sure?" Chase asked.

"You can do the job.  If you need something bigger call.  I already agreed to stay on consult for the infirmary and I'll be looking over your shoulder while I try to find you someone better.  As a post, it's not a bad one for a resident."

"No it's not," he admitted.

"You can switch off if you need to," Cuddy decided.  She looked at Xander.  "They'll be paid by your agency?"

"I made a good dent in my student loans thanks to it," Chase assured her.  Xander smiled at that.  "Have to be paid off somehow. The faster I do, the faster I can buy a house someday."

"True.  You're sure, House?"

"If I get too bored I'll call Dawn," he said dryly.  "Why are you armed?"  He had noticed that.

Xander looked down then at him.  "Sam reminded me to bring it."

"Is that like you reminding agents to bring a first aid kit, just in case?" House asked calmly.

Xander shrugged.  "Not as far as I know.  I haven't had any just in case feelings recently."

"Good.  Take care of my duckling.  He's fragile and a bit stupid."

"The girls will baby him if he's being fragile and they think he's brilliant."  House smirked at him.  "They do."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at Chase, who nodded and left with Xander.  "Let me call LA to take his place," he said, going into the office.  Those two had fallen into the job offer a bit too readily.  The others had to be talked into it.  He should've known.

Cuddy went to do some paperwork to release Chase to DCIS again.  She could send it to him out there.

***

Xander got that special 'oh, shit' feeling and called someone from the plane's phone.  "This is DCIS Agent Xander Harris.  Is Jack O'Neill there please?  Yeah, it's important.  Tell him I'm having another of those issues he hated and it's coming his way.  He'll understand."  He was put on hold and Jack came on.  "I have n idea, Jack.  All I know is it's heading your way.  It's like Ammit.   It's not coming in the normal way but I'm not sure how they're doing it.  Usually within the day, usually within hours.  Hey, if I'm wrong for the first time, call it a drill," he said dryly.  "I know that they're coming because I'm getting the strong urge to come see you.  Please.  Thank you.  On my way back to base with Doctor Chase.  The ones they found turned into idiots that we had to have arrested."  He smiled.  "Thanks, Jack.  Sure.  Have fun with it.  Make pithy quips and all that."  He hung up and relaxed.  "Sorry, that feeling hit again."

"It happens and it's a good thing when it does," Chase reminded him.  Xander nodded.  Chase smiled, watching him slowly drift off to sleep while he went back to his book.  It was a good read and he had been missing the girls.

***

Willow finished her preparation.  She knew what she needed to do.  Some things had to be better in her life so she could move on and the world would be safe and calm again.  The Powers had pointed out where the lynchpin was.   She had to do this to protect the younger slayers and herself, plus Buffy.  It was the best way to get back to herself.

She cast the spell.

Note:  This story can be skipped!  It is heavy in angst!   Even for one of mine.  Willow trying to correct the mistakes of the past leads to a lot of alternate universes and I'll cover the important parts in the next story.  So if you don't want to see what happened during the wishes, don't read this one!

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Demonic Deals Gone Bad.

Willow looked at the wish demon in front of her.  She had summoned this one to help her.  They were hiding in hers and Kennedy's room at the moment because she didn't want anyone to know.  "I need to fix something.  Doing so will protect thousands of people.  Possibly everyone.  It'll lead to more happiness and an easier time for the slayers."

The wish demon shrugged.  "I don't know why you called me, Rosenburg.  That's not my area of expertise."

"I had something of yours."  The demon growled.  She smirked.  "Will you help me of your own free will to make your job and mine easier?"

"No."

"Pity."  She cast the next step of her spell.  It compelled the demon to do her bidding in any way she wanted.  She reached over to lock the door in case Kennedy came back from patrol too early.  "Xander is the lynchpin.  Not having him there will make him happier and make it easier on us."

"No it won't," the demon told her.  "Not in any way."  She was already starting to see the bad in this situation.

"It will," she snarled.  "I wish he had never come back after the First Evil battle.  That he had let Wesley handle it."  The demon struggled but had to do her bidding.  The world shifted.

***

Xander looked up, then around.  Something was wrong.  What was it?  He groaned, heading to check on his patrol unit.  Since the invasion, there were limited pockets of humanity.  They weren't winning.  The people in a few government programs had evacuated some of the humans but some of them wanted to stay and resist.  He had walked away once and it had caused massive loss of life.  So he'd lose his here protecting the rest of humanity in honor of his friends.  To the best of his abilities, earth would not fall.  He heard his patrol people talking and groaned.  The demons were nearby.  They could be heard.  He whistled quietly, making them look back.  "Are we totally alone in this city?" he asked.

One sneered.  "If we give up, we'll be rewarded."  He turned his gun on Xander.

Xander ducked and came up to fire the weapon he had gotten from the military.  It was sweet but he had no idea where it had come from.  They both went down and the demons tried to come in.  Xander shouted and dove in to attack.  They had been cut off from the other resistance groups for the last week by military order.  Someone new in charge who had *ideas*.  All bad so far.  The ones wherever were coming back to help, he knew that.  He simply had to deal with this issue.  He cut the last demon's head and fell to his knees panting.  He looked back at his two warriors, all that had shown up.  "Tell me they're on patrol?" he panted.

One shrugged.  "No one's in the bunk room, Xander."  He helped him up.  "You need stitches."

"We need help and we need to move."

"They're going to be watching for that," the other complained.  "I can't get the others on the comm."

Xander took the radio, using their special band.  "People, we had a breach.  Need you back here unless you're in a fight."  He listened.  Nothing.  He looked up and said a silent prayer that it was the military taking them to safety or coming back to help.  He heard a helicopter and went to look, frowning at it.  "That's military but it's being driven by a demon, guys."  They groaned.  They waited until it landed.  The demons poured out with the general.  "Figured you were a traitor, Finn," he said calmly.

"Xander?"  He stared at him.  "Why aren't you there?"

"Someone had to hold here.  Not like there's slayers anymore."  Riley winced.  "What the fuck, man?"

"I don't know.  These ones are helpful and they're helping me."

"To do what?" he demanded.

"To start us over in a new area, Harris."

Xander shook his head.  "This is our planet, Riley.  If we fail, others will be coming."

"They're not coming.  There's a battle where they are."

Xander sighed then looked at the guys.  "This is formerly Captain Riley Finn. Former Initiative."  He looked at him. "Prove it."  Riley's eyes lit up and Xander shot him then the demons.  "No.  Not allowed."  He looked at one of his lieutenants who was limping back.  "You couldn't call?" he demanded.

"Sorry, Xander, but the radio's broken," he moaned.  He flopped down beside him, looking around.  "We had a breach?"

"The two guys on patrol said if we fell they'd get a reward.  So I gave it to them."  He checked him over, getting swatted at.  "We'll stitch each other in a few, Sam.  One of you get the copter and get us more people or something?"  They went to do that while he and Sam covered them so they could do mutual stitching.  "Damn it," he muttered.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Poison slime, Sam."

Sam looked then snorted.   "Had worse.  I'll be fine."

"We don't have any more anti-toxin serum in the kit."

"I do in my pack," Sam said calmly.  Xander smiled at that.  "You told me to pack it two days ago."  Xander nodded at that.  "You okay?"

"Just really tired."

"It'll be soon, Xander.  They can't last forever."

Xander looked at him.  "We have to shut that portal down, Sam, and I don't know how since the explosives didn't work."

Sam nodded.  "We can do that."  He pointed at the helicopter. "Aren't those weapons?"

Xander kissed him.  "I love you.  Know how to fly?"

"No, but I know someone who does."

"Finn wasn't demoned.  He had glowing eyes but he wasn't possessed."

"There's a snake coming out of his back," someone shouted.

"Kill it!" they yelled.  They did that and gathered what they could, taking the chopper with them.  Xander had flown a simulated one in a video game once.

"Guys, watch out.  Seeing if it's like the army simulation game."  They got out of the way and he started her, then slowly lifted off.  He set her back down but it was rough.  He checked the weapons with Sam then they nodded.  "We're doing the portal.  Let's fall back to a better spot.  Chris, find us more people."  They nodded and they took off again.  Xander readied the weapons as they got closer.  A few of the demons flew but they were shot at by Sam and Chris.  He fired one of the weapons, wincing when it didn't go.  He unlocked them then tried it again.  "Safety lock," he said, banking away from the portal.  It exploded and they flew off into the night.

"Xander, found someone in Nevada, found some in Colorado."

"Colorado is where they're evacuating people," Sam said.  "Where do they want us?"

"Colorado.  They're in a pitched battle on both sides of the gate."

"Done," Xander said.  "Someone tell me where I'm going."

"North then east.  There's a beacon."  He turned it on and Xander followed the beeping spot to where they should be.  They'd get there in the early morning but it was a good day when they could greet the sun then go blast demons.  Sam took the radio when they got closer, trying a few bands until he found one.

"This is Sam Winchester.  LA's portal is down," he reported.  He smiled at the grumpy voice that came back.

"How did you finally manage that when explosives didn't, Sammich?"

"The helicopter we're borrowing had higher weapons.  The gateway in Colorado's under attack.  We're headed there.  There's four of us."  He let go of the button.

"Give us three days."

"Done deal.  See you then, Dean."  He hung up and smiled at Xander.  "My brother."

"That's cool.  Family is good."  Xander followed the beacon, yawning half the way.  He found the base and touched down, waving at the guys with the guns.  "Chill, dude.  We're the rest of LA's protection patrol and resistance movement.  The portal's down.  We were told to come here to be reassigned by an O'Neill?"

"Base is on lock down, sir.  There's an invasion."

Sam loaded his gun.  "We can help with that one too.  Two at once isn't fair odds."

"I agree," Xander said.  They headed down.  Any of the guys up there that tried to stop them they inconvenienced but they'd never take out the defenses for the base.  They made it down to the right level, hearing the gunshots up the hall.  Xander headed with Sam behind him.  Xander fired at one with glowing eyes, bringing it down.  "The portal is down," he reported to the one he knew.  "One of them made it to us in LA so we kindly borrowed the weapons on his chopper.  Need some relief?"

"How many of you are left?" Daniel Jackson asked.

"Four."

"Out of?" he asked with a wince.

"Eighteen," Chris said.  He shot another one coming up the hall.  "Injure or kill these?"

"Injure.  They can take over others.  Kill any loose snakes you find."  They nodded and Daniel let them back him up on his next push back toward the gateroom.  They were all tired but it had to be done.  Xander took out a few that snuck up behind them but that was good for him.  They finally managed the right floor and found the top gou'ald there trying to make people beg.

"Oh, fucking well bite me, you bitch," Sam yelled, lobbing a concussion grenade.  It went off and knocked the people down but it had went off against the gou'ald's chest.  It was in pieces.  They fired on the guards and it was good.

"How did you know their warriors wore dog armor?" Daniel asked.

Sam shrugged. "No clue."

Xander got shot in the arm and winced, holding it.  "Damn it, just barely got that healed."  Sam shot that one.  Xander looked at his arm.  It was really bad.  He could see where the shot had taken out half the bones and through to the muscles on the other side.  "Sam?"  Sam came over to help him.  "If I fall, the scythe is yours.  When slayers are born again, find one, tell her."  Sam nodded.  "Teach her right."  He handed it over before he passed out.

"Fuck, this is not good," Sam growled.  He opened fire on the beings and they all fell.  He sneered at the last one, letting medics come get the injured and Xander.  "He has to survive."

"Why?" Daniel said.  "Slayers?"

He looked at him.  "The battle in Sunnydale led to all the slayers being called to keep the First Evil off the planet."  He winced.  "Then there was a power play by the people who used to watch over them.  They blew them up.  Killed the younger ones Xander had gotten to safety.  They're supposed to be the ones handling the demon issues."  Daniel nodded at that.  "But their own people killed all but three and they died trying to stop the invasion."

"Shit," Daniel said.  "The scythe?"

"Is a slayer's weapon.  Meant for a slayer.  It's what caused calling all of them at once.  There'll be more born.  The scythe can lead us to them and then they can be trained to help us once they're old enough to be called."

Daniel nodded.  "Do we have any idea when that is?"

"There's some books on a base in Illinois."

"I know of that base.  I'll see if we can get it if we can get this one clear."

Sam stopped him from moving.  "My brother's coming in a couple of days.  His name is Dean.  He'll probably be in the black Impala.  If they show up, I can test them."

"How long?"

"Few days.  They're in the midwest somewhere."

"Good.  Get patched up.  You guys look rough.  Let us finish cleaning up here."  They nodded and went to do that while Daniel went to report to Jack.  "The LA portal is down."

"Thank god," he said, looking up from being bandaged.  "We clear?"

"Upper levels aren't reporting yet," Daniel said, going to make them report.  He came back.  "Three got off base.  We know one went to LA to get the people there.  They got him and stole his helicopter.  That's how the portal went down."

"Good!"  He stood up.  "And?"

"They're in the infirmary.  Did you know about slayers?  I've heard myths of them here and there."

"Yeah.  I got a report about what happened in Sunnydale.  Why?"

"Their leader had a scythe he passed on to his second so they could find the next slayer born and called."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "That makes more sense.  They are...."

"Harris, Winchester.  The other two I don't know."

"Harris walked off."

Sam strolled in.  "Xander walked off because the girls drove him off.  Not because he wanted to.  They wanted him gone and made him go.  He gave his life for them.  They were selfish bitches.  Do not get in Xander's face about that."

"I won't."  He looked at him.  "This weapon?"  Sam held it up.  "We should hold it."

"No.  My family have been demon hunters for two decades.  We'll find the girls and train them.  If I fall, my brother gets it," he told Daniel.  "That way the girl called is protected and backed up by someone who has a fucking clue how to do demons.  Because if she wasn't killed after Sunnydale, she's an infant."

Daniel nodded.  "If they survive," he agreed.

"If not, you guys can find some other hunter I'm sure."  He grimaced, looking at the gateway.  "Let us get patched up and we'll head when we rendevous with Dean."

"Reports from around the US said we're down to under three hundred resistance fighters," O'Neill said.

"The guy who took charge made a lot of bad decisions," Sam said.  "It's possible we're under that.  He ordered us on comm silence, even in an emergency or an overrun."

Jack winced.  "Yeah, he's an idiot.   My last report was six thousand demons left plus whatever made it past your group."

Sam nodded, swallowing.  "We were down to under fifty in town when the portal got slammed shut.  We went to sabotage tonight and almost no one came back thanks to his orders, sir."

"Then we'll handle it.  Your brother hunts demons?"  Sam nodded.  "I'm assuming he's on a resistance team then."

"Dean Winchester."

"I know of him."

"My father?"

"Is...?"

"John.  Former Marine."

"He's somewhere, I see his name now and then."

Sam nodded.  "Then we'll handle it.  When Dean gets here we'll make a new battle plan for the remaining ones."

"Works for me," Jack decided.  "Clean this mess up.  Get everyone who can be unsnaked," he shouted.   The others ran.  He looked at Sam.  "I will not misuse it."

Sam shrugged.  "How would you work the magic to find a slayer?"

"Good point."  He smiled.  "Infirmary?"

"Full to bursting.  I can apply my own bandages.  I left my team with Xander.  Let me know?"

"Of course."  They watched him head back there.  "He's stronger than I am.  LA must've been hell to be in for the last year."

Daniel nodded.  "Not anymore."  They went to check on their friends and coworkers then help the clean up effort.  If nothing else, they could put pressure and bandaids on places.

***

Willow sobbed, canceling that world.  "No!"  She made the demon cancel it.  She noticed she wasn't there.  She had died.  She blinked at her.  "How could you!"

"That's what happens if Xander walked away at that point in time," she defended.  "If he's a lynchpin, things change when he's not there!  You need him there to protect the girls."

"No, we don't."  She gathered herself for the compulsion spell and made her cast the new wish.  "I wish Xander had left when the First Evil's minions got his eye, that we couldn't save it.  The injury will keep him out of the hunt."  The demon tried and struggled but she had to do it.

***

Xander looked around the street he was on then examined his arm and chest once he was out of the middle of the sidewalk.  "Huh?"  He looked around.  "This isn't a base.  There's no aliens...."  He checked.  He had an eyepatch.  He groaned, but checked.  He had his service weapon.  His ID wasn't in his wallet.  His firearms license was thankfully.  He went to find a library.  Best to start with the research.  That's when he noticed everything was quiet.  Very quiet.  He looked around the town, slinking back into the shadows.   Something was wrong.  He found a bar and looked but it was closed.  He kept going, finding the library.

He found the police station across from it but there were no signs of life there either.  He slid in through the back window of the library, looking around at the dust.  "What?"  He went to the newspaper archives.  It was well marked.  There was a paper in the box on the table.  He checked, nothing later than a date three months earlier.  He read it, wincing at the information on it.  The First Evil had won?  How in the hell had that happened!  He went back a few days to the date of the battle.  The 'earthquake' was reported the next day.  The day after that, everything looked normal.  And then suddenly the news stopped the day after.

He went to browse, finding one later paper in the hanging rods up by the front desk.  That one was reporting massive loss of life from some sort of plague.  He knew what it was.  He knew very well what it was.  He found a map of the town and the local hospital.  He could see it out the window but it was dark and it was getting very dark outside.  He checked the other windows.  No lights anywhere.  This was creepy.

Something made him turn around.

A bringer.

Xander sighed, checking himself.  He had the scythe for some reason.  He used it to gut the Bringer then kill it.  Then he went to get the hell out of there.  He managed to get out of the library right before it exploded.  "Damn," he muttered, heading for the hospital.  If there were survivors, they'd be there. If not, he could pick up some supplies for some traveling to find some other people.  Shea had been in Iowa.  Gloria in Cleveland.   He found the hospital empty and a sign on the wall saying that any survivors who might be looking for others had been moved to the basement for safety reasons.  He went and found the burned bodies.  He sighed, saying a blessing over them so they wouldn't be stuck on this plane.

He decided to pick up a few bags for necessary supplies, raiding the supply cabinets in the ER, and then the pharmacy.  He'd need them sometime he was sure.  He did take something for his arm since it was aching like he had lost it.  He found a car.  He checked it for explosives and took off to find another human being.  Hopefully a slayer.  Maybe a witch but hopefully a slayer.  Thankfully, there were no other cars on the road since he had no depth perception and his head was throbbing.  He took a painkiller he had raided from the cabinet and it was better.  Even if he could feel he had picked up a few ghosts in the hospital.  He nearly headed for New Jersey but a teaching hospital would've been overloaded with patients and the 'disease' that was a demon plague would've spread by air.

***

"No!" Willow snarled.  "Everyone was dead!"

"Yes, because Xander wasn't there to help the younger girls escape.  You took a lot of younger ones into the battle.  They lost.  You lost trying to guard them."

"No, it can't be!"  She huffed and looked.  Then she looked up.  "I wish the First Evil hadn't been called!  That Xander had left when Buffy died!"

She struggled but a tiny 'wish granted' came out.

***

Xander looked around.  This was getting old now.  His arm was still attached.  He still had his service piece.  He still had the bag he had been digging in for something to drink and another painkiller.   He put the strap around his chest and put the scythe into it.  Then his service piece since he was in a mall.  He checked, his ID was still missing.  Of course, he had figured out what this was.  Someone was making a wish universe and he was stuck in the loop.  Still sucked.  He went to check his account balance.  His ATM card declined.  His old one, from Sunnydale, declined.  He grimaced and went to find a public library.

He found one and settled in to read the last few emails he had.  One from Willow made him pause.  Sunnydale had fallen?  He read further and sighed.  Angel had Dawn.  He searched to find him.  He wasn't in LA but he could manage to find a way there.  Even if he had to hitchhike.  Then again, he had a contact near where he was.  He looked at the town and smirked.  Someone was helping him.  He was in Lawrence, Kansas.  In the last loop he had only made it to Nevada.  He found the house he needed a few hours later and walked up the front stairs, knocking.  The black woman who answered gave him a very odd look.  "Missouri Mosely?"  She nodded.  "Xander Harris."

"I know that.  How do you know me?"

"This isn't my natural universe.  In mine, I'm at DCIS with Sam, Dean, and John working with the slayers."

She let him inside.  "Slayers?"

"Girls called and chosen to fight demons?"

"Oh, them."  She sat him down, staring at him.  "What can I do to help you?"

"I need to know who's doing this."

"I'm not that sort of psychic, young man."

Xander stared at her.  "I've talked to Dean about you plenty of times."  She blushed.  "Not about that."

She looked him over then nodded.  "There's slayers here.  You have an artifact of theirs."

"This is the third world I've been in within a week's time," he told her.

"You look rough."

"The first one, the girls weren't there to stop the demon invasion in LA.  We were fighting as a resistance.  I lost my arm while we were defending the pathway to freedom."

She shivered.  "Someone's playing with forces they shouldn't be."

"Can you read me, see if you can find a sympathetic link?  I'm a medium."  She smiled.  "And I've locked my magic away."

"Hmm.  Let's see what I can do then."  It was too strange to not be true.  She sat down across from him and took his hand, feeling the strength in that body.  "The evil one isn't evil.  She's desperate.  Changing things to save others."  Xander nodded at that.  "You've got a while yet."

"I figured that much.  Can you tell if I'm connected to her in some way?  I figured I have to be with knowing what happened in the other lives."

She nodded, looking into his eyes.  "You are.  Very deeply.  There's a heart connection."

He slumped.  "Willow."  She nodded.  He sighed, looking at her.  "How do I stop this?  I'm a hunter, grunt support, sometimes planning and weapons."

She grimaced.  "I don't know.  She's doing it so she has to stop it or you have to stop the way she's making the wish universes."

Xander sat up straighter.  "Wishes?"  She nodded.  "Damn it."

"Exactly."  She stroked his cheek.  "When you get home, time will not be what it is here."

"That's probably a good thing."  He kissed her palm.  "Thank you."

"Go take a shower.  You can rest here tonight before you go on, boy.  You need to shower, shave, and eat before you move on."

"Thank you."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Did the First Evil show up here?"

"Your friend was never raised here.  There was worse and it killed them.  All.  The world will be going to hell this spring anyway."

"The other slayers?"

"The dark is confined.  The light in the next one overshadowed."

Xander smirked.  "Brenda's the next one?"  She nodded.  "Then we'll see what we can do.  Thank you."  He knew where Brenda had been.  He took her up on her hospitality then headed out in the morning.  He found her watcher yelling at her in public and coughed.  "Shut up.  Buffy would not like that attitude and neither would Rupert."  He slugged the man and looked at the girl he knew.  "Brenda.  Xander Harris, from Buffy's former crew."

She blinked.  "She had a crew?"

"Yeah.  Let's go talk."  He led her off, stepping over her watcher.  He told her everything he knew, including that this was a wish universe.  He gave her the choice.  She looked at the watcher then smiled.  "You don't have to keep him."

"She's mine," he sneered, pulling a knife.

"Don't make me shoot you.  You won't like it."  He sneered back.  "I've actually fought on a hellmouth.  You?"  The man went pale.  Xander moved closer.  "I fought and helped Buffy.  I'm one of the few ones who can do what she did and knows what Brenda needs to go save everyone this spring during the next apocalypse.  Do you?"  He shuddered, backing away.  "Tell Travers Harris said hi and I'm making sure there's still two."  He tossed her the scythe and she glowed for a minute then carefully handed it back.  He looked then handed her a bit of scrap metal on the ground.  She bent it with a smile.  "For now, I need you to find someone to actually train you.  He's decent but you can be better.  They'll also let you learn things, talk to people, all that."

She sighed in pleasure.  "I'd like that."  He wrote and address on her hand.  "Who's this?"

"This is Missouri Mosely.  She'll call John or Dean and Sam.  Whichever one she can get.  Tell her you've been called.  You need help and it'll take a good set of hunters to go calm down the hellmouth.  It's back in waiting on food mode.  The humans are all dead."  She nodded.  He smiled at her.  "Shoo."  She ran off to pack and head.  He looked at the Watcher.  "You do know that you nearly killed that girl a few times?  You're damn lucky this is your world instead of mine. In mine the First Evil prophecies happened," he said quietly.  "Unfortunately Willow's pulling a Cordelia in mine."  He stepped closer.  "After that, we had to gather the girls together because they were all active.  Some of us know exactly every single shitty thing you ever did to that girl up until she was fifteen."  He walked off, heading to his car.  He beeped and she ran over to get in.  He drove them off, finding a familiar car.  "Oh, please let that be Dean."  He saw a familiar body and parked the car, getting out.  "Sam."  Sam looked over then frowned.  He moved closer.

"Do we know him, Sammy?" Dean called.

"Somehow I do," Sam admitted quietly.  "Her too."

"Brenda."  Xander looked at Dean, locking eyes with him. Dean sighed, shaking his head.  "We're pulling a Cordelia in my world, guys."

"A wish verse?" Sam demanded.  "How do I know that?"

"Because in mine we're kinda linked after you helped a young witch go after the Powers.  Now and then I even get some of your flashes."  Sam grimaced.  "This is Brenda.  The scythe just called her."  He tossed it back to her.  She caught it.  "Sunnydale is back into attraction mode.  All the people are gone.  There's an apocalypse this spring.  She's decently trained but not greatly trained."

"How would you know?" Dean asked, strolling over.

"I hunted with Buffy."

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"Exactly.  You've got a town that's quietly overrun and waiting.  You have a slayer now.  You have an apocalypse this spring that I think has to do with the invasion.  It's later in this world.  That'll be opening a portal in LA in late May.  They'll pull a demon realm onto the earth.  Simply opening a gate and letting them through."  They nodded at that.  "I have to try to get back to my world.  She needed the help.  Her former watcher is a shithead who hated school."

"In your world, she's close to us," Sam said.

"In my world, she's like an adopted Winchester," Xander agreed.  "John's protege and she'll be teaching hunters and slayers some year."

They nodded.  "We can get with Dad," Dean decided.

"I went to Missouri to see what the fuck was going on.   She knows."

"Agreed," Dean said.  "That scythe...."

"The slayer's weapon.  The one from here will be in the dangerous artifact vault under the Watchers Council.  It can defeat the First Evil and it will call all the girls if the invasion happens."

"You need it?" Sam asked.

"As far as I know.  No.  I'll grasp it before I go, that way it might split.  This is my third reality so far."  They all grimaced.  "Yeah, not liking this.  Especially since if we lose during the invasion, we'll end up fighting a resistance movement against the demons.   Like V, only worse."

"Understood," Sam agreed calmly.

"Thank you."  He snapped his fingers and pulled his gun.  "This can help you guys."  He showed Dean the bullets he was carrying.  "It's holy water tipped."  Dean smirked at that.  "We have one that's wood but it's teflon and rubber jacketed.  We went through a guy named Henry Amandale in New Jersey for that formula.  If it helps, I'm all for it."

"Good.  Can I have one?"

Xander checked.  He still had his spare clip so he gave him that one.  "I'm all for it if it helps.  Also, your family's demon?  Beaten it yet?"  They shook their heads.  "He's gathering people in Cold Oak to get a chosen one, Sam if he can, to open a devil's gate in South Dakota," he said quietly.  He stared Dean down.  "If Sam had been there, he would've died and you'd be making a very dark deal to save him.  A year isn't enough."

Dean nodded at that knowledge.  "How?"

"There's a relic if you can't use the colt.  The colt is the key to the gateway."  They shuddered.  "There's a relic at St. Andrew's Basilica.  There's a priest there named Thomas who knows about demons.  It's a minor relic.  Silver.  Do that, then rip him to shreds magically.  Have the bullets blessed after they're forged as well.  It's to St. Barbara."

Dean nodded. "Over artillery.  Blessed be."

"Definitely.  I don't know what the spell was to rip him apart after he was shot.  I know Dawn found it online.  I know she found it on a chaos sorcerer's journal.  I know it would eat him and send him back to hell when he's banished.  That's how we ended up doing it.  Shoot, magic, banish."

Dean nodded.  "We can handle that."  He smiled.  "You're not bad for being so strange."

Xander smirked.  "I'm a wildcard the Powers hate.  That's why they're letting a witch play what if with wishings.  I'm so going to paddle her when I get back."  He took another painkiller.  "The first one my arm got shot off.  Still hurts like a bitch."  He saw a cop car pull in and smiled.  "Officer."

"Sir, this girl was reported as a runaway."

"The person who had her was keeping her as a slave, ignoring her need to go to school, physically and mentally abusing her, and there's hints he might've been trying for sexual but she hadn't been beaten down that far yet.  I'm handing her back to her family."

The officer looked at the boys then at her.  "Is that right, miss?"

She nodded.  "He bought me off a distant member of my family.  These guys are my cousins.  They'll protect me.  I am sixteen."

"Can I see some ID, guys?"  They flashed theirs.  Xander pulled his.  The cop glared at him.  "You are...."

"Xander Harris, of Sunnydale.  Why?"

"You know about things that hurt others."

Xander nodded.  "I apparently walked off after things went to hell out there.  Then again I'm having a bit of pain and I'm on some painkillers.  Is there one?"

"Two."

"Where?" Dean asked.

"Downtown.  Why?"   He looked at him.  "You know about that stuff, sir?"

"I do," Brenda said. "That's why he bought me.  So I could be trained."  The cop shuddered.  "We'll fix it then head."  He nodded.  "Give me the address and details please?"  He wrote them down, letting Sam take notes.  Xander pointed at something then at the bullets.   He handed her a stake too then he took the scythe and flipped the switch in his mind that he used for possessions.  Nothing so he unblocked the magic in him.  He flashed back to the plane then out again.

***

"Fuck!  That one was nice," Willow complained.

"Except for the fact that everyone in Sunnydale, including you guys, were dead and LA was still going to be invaded soon.  Which means that world was going to turn into the first one."  Willow glared so she gave her a smug look.  "It will."  She went back to trying to contact D'Hoffryn.  He was stronger than this one.  She wasn't.

"I wish Xander had left before the battle with Glory, taken Dawn and run."  She screamed in pain as the flash hit her.  She panted through it, glaring at the demon.  "What was that?"

"Glory trying to come through to this world.  Idiot.  Without the battle there, she was never stopped.  She's still there."

"Bitch."

"Yay me," she quipped back, waving a hand.  "Can I go now?  I have legitimate people who need me and I need a drink."

"No."  She glared. "I wish Xander had left after the First Slayer battle with the Initiative."

"Not again," she moaned but oh well.  She had to.  The compulsion was too strong.

***

Xander landed in the middle of a mess.  "This is gross," he decided, looking around.  He checked.  He had the scythe in his hand.  He hoped Brenda had it.  If not, she knew where her world's was.  He saw a demon coming at him and frowned.  "Clem?"  The demon stopped.  "What the fuck, dude!"

"Xander?"

"Yeah."

"We heard there was a psycho demon hunter."

Xander looked at his feet then at him.  "No idea, Clem.  I just showed up here from the last reality Willow sent me to.  Is she here by any chance?"

"No.  She's off sulking with her new witch."

"Ah."  Xander nodded.  "Buffy?"

"No.  Giles is at the Magic Box."

"Good.  Let's go see him."  They walked that way.  He knew something had went wrong with this wish.  He walked into the Magic Box, seeing the mess.  "Did I do this too?"

Giles came out of the office.  "No, Buffy did.  You went after her to stop her.  Did you?  Or were you perhaps hit on the head?  Why do you have a scythe?"

Xander put it on the counter, leaning on it, staring at him.  "Do I look like your Xander?"

Giles swallowed.  "Temporal?"

"Willow's casting what if wishes in my world.  This is my fourth, Giles."  The other man groaned.  "Now, let's go over some future things."  He took some paper and wrote it down, then handed it over.  "As it happened in my world."

"Oh, dear lord," Giles moaned.

"Exactly."  They shared a look.  "How do I stop her?"

"I..."

"I know she's using wishes of some sort, probably a wish demon.  She's powerful enough that she used the scythe to call all the slayers born and called that're old enough to fight.  One as young as six.  She went magic addiction."

Giles went to find the books on wish demons.  "This may help."  Xander took it and the scythe back then disappeared.  "Clem, was she stopped?"

"No, Rupert.  I found him.  I didn't see her at all."  They looked toward the hellmouth as a rumble started.  "What did she do?"  A bright flash went across the town, destroying it.  They were wrong, cockroaches wouldn't survive a nuclear holocaust.

***

Willow shrieked and pulled at her hair.  "She's not like that!"

"The First Slayer drove her nuts."  She shrugged.  Xander had the book to stop this.  That's the important thing.  And the scythe.

"I wish Xander hadn't come back from his road trip!"

The wish demon fought and she felt her master trying to help but he couldn't overpower her compulsion or break into the room yet.

***

Xander looked up from his spot aching on the pillows.  He found his bag and took a pill.  Then he went back to looking harmless and nice.  A new slave was pushed in with a laugh and they locked them in.  "Hey, Sam.  C'mere.  I've got some bandages."  Sam stumbled over.  He looked rough.  "It's all right."

"Do I know you?"

"In my world, yeah."  He smoothed a hand over an injury then got into the bag.  The demon found it amusing so he kept putting in new drugs, bandages, and other things.  It meant he could play harder with him.  Xander got him fixed up and with a painkiller then settled in to watch over him.  The demon hadn't found the gun, the book, or the scythe.  Thankfully.  Sam gave him a long stare.  "If we were linked here, I'd help.  It's been six years here."  Sam shuddered.  "Exactly."  He soothed him.  "Why were you taken?"

"The visions.  The demon giving them to me thought it would break me.  Dean's somewhere."

Xander concentrated on the magic he'd been teaching himself to use ever since he'd gotten stuck here.  "He's up the hall."  He looked at the wall then smirked. "C'mon, there's portals."  Sam stumbled to his feet.  Xander grabbed his things and a few other things since he wasn't wearing clothes.  A loincloth isn't clothes.  His were long gone.  His ID case too.  He led him to the pathway to the other hallway, then snuck that way.  Sam could pick locks so they found Dean's room after a few tries.  The other slaves were let free and they snuck out together.  It led to the main hall.  Xander pulled his gun and shot their captor.  "Fuck you."  He went to raid a few things then came out in real clothes.  He tossed Dean and Sam some.  "We need to move."

"They took the Impala," Dean said.

Xander pointed.  "It's there, Dean."  He went to find it with Sam behind him.  "Be safe.  Watch out for an invasion in LA."  He looked around and went to find something.  He found one of the demons in custody.  "So, Mearl?  Bothering the higher ups?"

"He captured me," she sneered.  "Who're you?"

"Harris.  From Sunnydale.  In my reality I dated Anya."  She stared at him.  "Willow has one of you hostage and she's creating what if universes.  I need to stop her."

"I'm not..."

"Mearl, I've been through five now.  You're over broken wishes and dreams.  In two, everyone was dead."  She shuddered.  "In this one I'm sure others have."  She nodded.  "I need to stop her."

"No one can stop Rosenburg but the Powers."

Xander nodded at that.  "I realize that.  But I need to stop the immediate threat then we can talk to the Powers or the Elders.  I know a white lighter."

She stared at him.  "That's impossible."

"In my world, Buffy's little sister is being taught by the Charmed Ones."

"Oh, shit," she mouthed.  Xander smirked but nodded. "But I can't."

"You can so." He pulled her up.  "A wish for the destroyed souls that I've had to witness here and there."  She shivered, her powers activating.  "I wish to be in front of my Willow with the way to stop her.  Right now."

She stared.  "You have the way.  You have to end the spell."

"How do I end a compulsion?  I'm sure she's not doing it of her free will."

"Break the spell, break the bond by breaking one of them."  She cast the wish.  "Wish granted."  She found herself going too.  They landed as Willow was casting another one.  Further back, that Xander had left before graduation.  She saw that reality form and shuddered in horror at all the dead that had been killed by the Mayor.  She cast to counter it, making her coworker give her a grateful look.  "Xander, you have to break the bond by taking her down.  Now!" she ordered.

Xander pulled his gun.  "I'm sorry."

"Please?" she begged, changing forms.  To Anya.

"Not helping me."

She changed to a demon and tried to rush.

He fired, breaking the spells.  Willow shrieked and he turned, hitting her a few times.  "For all the people you killed.  Leo!  Help!" he yelled.  "Please?"  He rubbed his forehead, leaning against a wall.  Someone pounded.  "No!  Get me Dawn's teachers or Leo!  Now!  Willow went spastic!  She's been casting Wishes!"

"I like that it's capitalized," she said.  D'Hoffryn came down.  "Lord," she said, falling to her knees.

"I had to," Xander said, looking at him.  "I know she was an innocent, D'Hoffryn, but I had to before we all died."

"You did the right thing, boy.  She's young, that's how she was captured."  He gathered her then sent her onto her next plane of existence.  "You did what you had to."   He looked then broke the charm holding the room sealed shut.  "Call him now.  Only the Elders can help her."

Xander nodded.  "Thank you."

"It's not much but you have my forgiveness too," Mearl told him.  She and D'Hoffryn faded out to watch.

Leo appeared.  "What happened?"  Xander pointed.  Then he passed out.  "Hell."

Note:  If you skipped the last one, Willow has been making wishes.  She captured a wish demon and compelled her by magic to make her wishes come true.  She was taking Xander out to keep him safe, thinking that it would help everyone, and make her be the girl she used to be.  Some of them were horrific so I know that people didn't want to read that.  If you didn't, Xander got free of the last one and found a wish demon to counter her, wishing he was there to stop her.  He had to shoot the wish demon Willow had captured to get her to stop.  The wish demon helping Xander said so.  This goes from where others find out.  After all, wishing only takes a minute.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Aftermath.

Leo appeared.  "What happened?"  Xander pointed.  Then he passed out.  "Hell."  He called another Elder.  "What happened?  I got a frantic call.  Xander's full of bad magic again.  He's been on the hellmouth?  She's been...."  A wish demon appeared.  "You are?"

"The one Xander helped free in her last wish universe, White Lighter."  Leo swallowed.  "Willow was trying to get back to the happy girl she was before the hunting and the magic got to her.  Before she lost Tara, before she went to the dealer.  To do that she took out the lynchpin.  He remembers each and every horrific event he had to live through in at least five sub-realm universes.  She went off the deep end by capturing one of us and forcing her to comply.  Xander had to shoot the demon to get her free and stop Willow."  She looked down then at him.  "He was going to ask for help for her.  Her broken dreams and his both call out to me to help this time."  She faded out again.

Leo looked at his boss.  "Can we?"

"We must.  Before someone else steps in."  The boy moaned so they removed them to the Elder's Council chambers.  "Brothers and sisters, we have a grave problem," he announced, setting the girl down.  "This witch ...."

"Made multiple wishes that created multiple alternate realities trying to get out of the  demons hunting business," Leo finished.  "He is the one she chose to have removed, repeatedly.  The wish demon that appeared said at least five times."

They all hissed.  "Which witch is that?" one of the female members asked.

"This is Willow Rosenburg," Leo said.  "We've had to help her before.  I've asked for a White Lighter for her twice before.  The boy acted to bring her back out of the darkness in the past when she tried to pull up an ancient temple in her grief."

They nodded.  They knew of that one and had debated it but the boy had stepped in quickly enough with help from the coven in England.  It was a miscalculation.  "She will heal?"

"I want her to know exactly what she did," Xander said quietly, blinking at Leo.  "I needed that nap?"

"You passed out, I didn't do it," he offered, helping him sit up.  "Why?"

"Because if she doesn't have a reason, she won't regret, won't feel guilt, and she'll try it again."  They all nodded at that wisdom.  "She's seen the darkness and chose to go here today anyway.  I don't know if it's too much power. I don't know if it's that she feels we abandoned her.  I have no idea why but she needs help.  The Devon coven tried really hard.  They were helping her again because she was feeling unsuitable urges by their definition.  I..."  He trailed off.  "The wishes she was casting ended up killing multiple earths."  They shuddered.  "She has great power and little common sense sometimes.  I love Willow like my sister.  I would die if it would save everyone.  In this case, those two are at odds and I can't do this on my own."

"We would not ask you to.  Your power is not of ours," one of the Elders said.

Xander nodded.  "I know.  I need to lock it back down."

"You need to have it leeched out," Leo corrected.  "You're hellmouth tainted again, Xander."  He groaned.  "Where were you when she started?"

"On a plane with Doctor Chase, bringing back to the infirmary.  Is he okay?  She didn't make it crash, right?"

"No, she didn't," Leo said after checking.  "He's confused because you disappeared from right in front of him."  Xander relaxed.  "Let's take him to the academy and let them detox him?"  They nodded.  "Thank you."

"Would Paige do so?" one of the elders asked.

"Paige does best helping the young," Leo told them.  "She does help Dawn already.  That would put her in conflict and spread her too thin."

"Dawn's okay?" Xander asked.

"She's fine, Xander."  He led him off, taking him to the magical school.  "Not quite Hogwarts," he joked, getting a weak smile.  They got him with a teacher and she got to work bottling the energy she was pulling off him.  It was not safe to be released.  "Piper said once he's got void style magic," Leo offered.  She smiled and worked it that way instead.  It'd be faster.  When he was done, he was limp and tired.  But he was reclosed off and free of the bad energies.

***

At the same time as Xander first disappeared Sam screamed as he grabbed his head, bending over as the images hit him.  Someone came running to help him.  They got him sitting, getting him some water to drink.

"Sam, what's going on?" Don asked.  "Tell me.  I need to know."  Sam whimpered and went still then another hit.  They went that way for almost an hour.

***

Dawn stiffened and screamed in class, passing out as the visions hit her head.  The slayers in there with her got her to the school nurse and called the base.  Dawn wasn't a seer, there was no telling what was going on or if it was an attack.  They got John, who said Sam was having them too.  To bring her home.  He'd send a guard since none of them drove.  John went to check on his son.  "Dawn's having them too," he reported to Don Flack.

Don looked at him.  "Where's Dean?  If two of the four get something the others usually get carry over."

"In town."  He went to call.  "Dean, are you okay?"   He smiled. "Headache?  Sam and Dawn are both having strong visions they're stuck in."  He listened, then he nodded.  "Pull over, rest, see if you can see what it is.  We need to know."  Dean did as ordered and he waited, listening to him say what he was seeing.  He went pale.  "Guys, there's a wish verse going.  Xander go sucked in because he was the focus."  They all stared.  "Dean's seeing what's going  on there and it's not pretty."  Sam shook his head frantically, whimpering. "Get here, Dean.  I want a full report."  He hung up, coming over to help Sam to a more flat surface.  "Where is Xander?"

"Going to talk to House and Chase," one of the guards called.  "Chase called and said he'll be landing in about an hour."  They all nodded.  "And that Xander disappeared from the plane."

"That witch is going to get it," John said bluntly.  They got Sam down to the infirmary and John started the IV, getting a smirk from Daniel.  "I took the medic training.  Came in handy."  Dawn was carried in and he started one on her too.  Dean came in and pulled Daniel away to tell him.  "Son?"

"Dad, it's bad.  The first one started with us not being there for the invasion and went down from there to a resistance movement."  He looked at Daniel, going back to making a   report. When it finally ended both Dawn and Sam were passed out.  Sweaty, trembling, whimpering in their sleep, but out.  Dean looked at him.  "Two had no people.  One had a nuclear bomb.  One wasn't bad, but it was going to be there soon.  She kept wishing for a spot where Xander could draw back from the hunting to make everyone happier, him safer, and her go back to normal."

"Shit," John snarled.  "She's where?"

D'Hoffryn appeared, clearing his throat.  "He found one trapped in the last world."

"Where he had been the slave of a demon for over six years," Dean agreed.

"True.  He made a wish that he be there to stop her.  He had to shoot my vengeance demon to get everyone free.  He's in front of the Elders being healed."  He looked at the cabinet then at Daniel.  "He will need to see the other doctor about something."

"Peeing problem?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"The injury in the first life resonates."  Dean shuddered.   D'Hoffryn left.

"Injury?" John asked.

"He, Sammy, and a few other guys were the resistance movement in LA after we failed to stop the invasion, Dad.  The slayers were all dead from the explosions the Watchers laid."  John shuddered at that.  "Exactly.  They got it down to four of them and about fifty demons before Riley Fucking Finn showed up with a gou'ald."  Daniel whimpered at that.  "They were taking the opportunity to invade.  From what I remember, Jack joked something about sending the demons there but they ended up using the weapons Riley brought on his helicopter to close the portal then went to help at the base, where Xander got shot about here," he said, pointing at it.  "With a staff weapon at close range.  Under ten feet."

"That would destroy it," Daniel said quietly.  Dean nodded.  "He lost it?"

"He died, Daniel.  In that one he died in the infirmary after handing Sammy the scythe and telling him to find the next slayer called."

John slumped.  "Are there better ones?"

"One was okay.  Buffy never got brought back.  They were leading up to an apocalypse of a different sort.  He had to find Brenda, activate her, and then get her with us.  Then he got himself out of it because he went to see Missouri to see what was going on."

John nodded.  "Smart of him."

"Very."  They looked at them.  "I so want to make my own wish."

"Me too," Dawn said quietly.  "Can I do that?"  D'Hoffryn appeared.  "I..."  She yawned. "I wish Xander didn't keep the memories, D'Hoffryn.  It'll destroy him."

Dean coughed.  "For the souls that got destroyed here, namely Xander's, I wish that Willow's magic had been taken by Tara for six months on Halloween but she still knows what would have happened, in gory, tri-color, living it like she was there detail."

"A spirit can not take someone's powers," D'Hoffryn told him.

Dean shrugged.  "We had a robot for her by five that morning.  Metal but still a body for her soul.  She's using it to help Abby with the unicorns."

D'Hoffryn looked then nodded.  "If at all possible.  It goes well with the punishment they were going to choose."

"I so wish Willow had a white lighter and none of us had to go through this," Sam moaned.  "Because, God, I'm never going to forget the sight of a nuclear bomb going off when Buffy went off the deep end after the Initiative mess."

"All quite possible," he decided, going to talk to the Elders.  "A wish has been struck and granted."  They all stared.  "That her powers be taken from her as of Halloween but that she know exactly what she had done as if she had lived through it like the boy had.  That no one else need know that it happened, and that she have a white lighter so no one will ever have to go through it."

"It goes well with our decision," the Elder in charge agreed.  "Are you granting it?"

"Yes.  Wish granted."

"Her white lighter will be Morgana Penrose, formerly of the Devon Coven," the head Elder intoned.  The world flashed and was as it should be again.  Without the pain and misery in a few souls but one knowing what pain and misery she had caused.  "Six months without her power should give Morgana a good enough leeway to get her back under control."

The others agreed, going to check on their own charges.  Just in case they got hurt.

***

Daniel got a call from Jack the next day.  "Jack, what's wrong?"  He listened.  "You had them trying to attack the base?  Again?  From the surface this time?"  He smiled.  "I'm glad Xander got the message to you and the guys told you it had happened while in lockdown so they managed it without you, Jack.  No, we've been having problems.  Xander's unconscious for some reason in the infirmary."  He nodded.  "Thanks."  He hung up and went to check.  House had flown back when he had heard.  Commercial and paid his own way.  "Any change?"

"Some.  He's coming closer.  I want to know what happened."

Leo appeared with a yawn.  "Sorry, had to borrow some of his energy to remake the memories when they wouldn't be suppressed."  They all glared.  "Willow decided she wanted to be the girl she was before she found her magic addiction and decided to be *nice* by letting Xander have an out from hunting.  Did he ever tell you about Cordelia's wishverse?"

Daniel nodded slowly but House nodded more firmly.  "He did.  We had a long talk over beers one night about that."

"She did the same thing."  House shuddered.  "Six times, House."  That got a horrified look.  "She was casting one last one but he never went there.  He lived through five of them in about thirty-two minutes, but it took about eight years there."  House moaned.  "One of them he got out right before the nuclear bomb went off.  Dawn, Sam, and Dean all wished to help prevent it but he still knew.  His soul was weighed down by having to shoot the wish demon to stop it.  He saw her as an innocent."  He looked at Daniel.  "He remembered everything from all of them.  The Elders decided to help with that.  Because what he knew, Dawn, Sam, and Dean saw.  Sam and Dawn in graphic detail.  She still sees them in her nightmares.  So does he probably.  So yes, we're keeping him down while they finishing stripping those so he won't have them and blocking them out of the others.  He's boosting their energies so they're working through him to get to them."  He grimaced.  "It was bad enough that we agreed to work with D'Hoffryn this time.  They regret not giving her a white lighter.  They didn't because Xander stopped her on that cliff."

Daniel nodded.  "When will he be okay?"

"Within a few days."  He looked at House.  "Before we did this, he would've needed to talk to you about his new pill habit.  In the first reality, his arm was blown nine-tenths off.  The pain stayed."

"I can see how that goes."

Leo wrote down something.  "If he's feeling phantom pain from those areas, we need to know.  Something's bleeding through."

"Agreed," Daniel said.  "It won't happen?"

"The first one was him walking away after the battle because the girls ragged on him again," Leo said honestly.  "That means the Watchers won and the invasion wasn't stopped."  Daniel shuddered, backing away from him at that.  "Exactly.  That was the nicer one.  The last one he lived through he had never went back after his road trip and ended up being captured and sold to a demon for over six years before Sam and Dean got captured and he had help getting out of there.  The demon thought it was a good idea to let him have the medical kit he got in the second one because it'd help him break him easier."  He flashed out.

"That's why he's flinching whenever we touch his arm," House said quietly.  He took the information to look at.  "That's exactly where he's been showing pain reactions."  He went to up him to the safe painkiller.  He came back and found him awake and staring.  "Hey, kid."

"Chase all right?"

"Chase is fine.  I'm fine.  We're all fine.  What were you taking?"

"Percocets."

"That's not a bad thing."  He gave him the safe painkiller.  "Do you still feel it?"  Xander nodded.  "Leo!"  He reappeared. "He's still feeling the pain and knows what he was hooked on."

"Damn it."  He took Xander, Sam, Dean, and Dawn with him.  Xander ended up in therapy out of time to deal with the issues so they could block it off.  This time with his knowledge and consent. The others agreed too.  They didn't want to remember.  It was kinder if no one did but Willow.

***

Buffy looked up as a woman walked into the house.  "You are?  Beyond in the wrong house, lady?"

"I'm Morgana Penrose.  I'm Miss Rosenburg's new morality monitor."

Buffy frowned. "What did she do?"

"Only she will remember."

Buffy moaned, sitting down.  "Tell me now before I hear it from Dawn?"

"Her memories are being removed at her own request."

"That's bad," she decided.

Giles came out to look at her.  "Morgana.  I thought you had passed on."

"I am your charge's white lighter, Rupert."  He went pale.   "Let me show you why."  She did show him a bit and he shook, having to lean against the wall until Buffy helped him to a seat.  "Part of the cure was to go back in time and remove her powers on Halloween."

Buffy swallowed.  "She healed someone or else they'd have died."

"They did not this time.  No innocents will suffer by the order of the Council of Elders, my dear."  She relaxed.  "She's injured, but not as badly."  That got a nod.  "Another took part of the blow for her."

"I was wondering why Rona was hurt."

"That is why.  Now, where is my errant charge?  I do believe I need to do some good, old fashioned correcting."  Buffy showed her to her room.  Kennedy had said Willow had a fever and was in bed with the flu.  Now they knew why.  She walked in.  "Leave us, young lady."

Kennedy looked at her.  "What did she do?"

"She tried to give herself and another an out from the hunting that changed her."

Kennedy nodded.  "Buffy, we need a bigger place."

"Go back to the base, Ken."  She smiled and packed, heading back there.  She had to go by bus, but Giles was more than happy to upgrade her to a plane ticket.  She looked around then at the stuff on the floor.  "Capturing?"

"She captured a wish demon."

"Oh, shit," Buffy said, staring at her.  "Like Cordelia's?"

"Eight of them in total, including one that was slightly forming," she agreed.  "It's horrific enough that even D'Hoffryn agreed the misery was too much this time.  One of them wouldn't have kept you all from being blown up.  The invasion still happened."  Buffy turned green.  "Exactly."  Buffy fled to hug her Watcher.  She woke Willow up from the spell the Elders had put on her, then pulled her over her knee to paddle her until she begged for mercy from the Goddess.

***

The quad reappeared in the squad room and hugged, well, Dean let Dawn hug him and the other two pat him on the arm.  "We're back," Dawn said.

Danny Messer looked over. "What happened this time?"

"Don't worry, it didn't in this reality," she assured him.  They all stopped working to look at her.  "It's been handled and solved, guys.  It didn't get to happen here."

"The only one who remembers is Willow," Xander agreed.  "Because it was her shit."

"Are we arresting her?" Horatio asked calmly.

"If it didn't happen here, we can't," Dawn said.  "Wonderful catch 22, huh?"  She looked at Xander, who was scowling.  "She deserves it."

"She has a punishment already."  Dawn sighed but nodded.  "So we're cool, I'm okay.  I need to redo my range qualifications tonight because this left me a bit weak on my left arm."

"I can do that," Mac promised.  "Is it healed?"

"It's the only evidence I have that anything happened."  They all nodded.  "They stripped the memories bare for that on all of us, by our requests."  That got another nod.  "But do listen in case she tries something else."

Dawn gave him a hug.  "Go talk to House, Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  "We're back and able to help out again."  She walked off, going to check on Thomas.  She had probably spazzed out.

"We do know that building Tara the robot body was part of the cure for the problem," Sam said.  "But Xander's not under a compulsion to build more geek toys."

"Shoot, I wanted my own light saber," Don Flack teased.

"We have the plans, dude," Sam joked.  "Dean builds stuff."

"I built another one already," Dean said smugly.  "Those proton packs are really powerful."  He walked off to find his father.  "Hey."

John looked at him.  "Is whatever cured?"

"It never happened here and the memories we had from it are gone.  Never to return."

"What if we need to know?"

"It was all based on past events, Dad.  A wish universe like Cordelia created."

John shuddered.  "Even the thought makes me sick to my stomach."

"Exactly.  Xander's got a phantom pain in his arm.  We aren't sure why.  He's insistent he needs to requalify."

"He does.  Even if it's not a real injury anymore, if he's feeling it, it could hurt him in a fight."

He left, going to check on Sam then Xander, then get back to work with Faith and Shea.  "Miss us, ladies?" he asked.  He looked around.  "Where's Shea?"

"Who?" Faith asked.

Paige orbed in with a happy smile.  "Shea's fine, Dean.  We had to...borrow her for a minute at the house.  The magic that came with us knocked Faith out.  She'll be right back."  She disappeared again.  Dawn's growl carried down the hall then a flash of magic sent her off too.   She and Shea reappeared.  Paige behind them.  "See, she's fine."

"I'm more than fine, I'm a gorgeous hunk of woman," Shea teased.

Dawn giggled.  "She's still straight."

"So am I."  She grinned at Dean.  "Miss me?"

"Only because it's time to kick your butt."  He looked at her outfit then at her.  "Comfy?"

She looked at her short, tight skirt and then the halter top, then down it, nodding at him.  "Pretty muchly."

"If it works for you," Dawn said dryly.  She looked at Paige.  "Need more help?"

"No, we're okay.  The kids are fine.  Leo's on a rip.  So we'll be fine."  She smiled and left.

Dawn looked at Dean.  "Small, minor attacking army."  She went back up to the library.

Dean walked Faith out, handing her to Wesley.  "She got magically bonked on the head."  He went back to teaching Shea what she was to do.  Though in that skirt she was very distracting.  "Is the point to flash the vampires?" he asked finally.

"It's not a bad one.  I've lured more than one into a trap."

"What about in normal clothes?  Like you're jumped in pajamas?"

"I sleep in them?"   He gave her a look.  "Okay, I know what you're saying.  Let me go change."

"Normal clothes then the tighter, slinkier version," he ordered.

"Yes, oh great one."

"You know it," he shot back.

She smirked.  "I still remember putting you in pigtails that once.  Mom still has the picture."  She fled before Dean could get her for it.

Dean shook his head, looking at Xander as he came in sucking on a lollipop. "It helping?"

"Some."  He let him see his arm and the bruise on it.  "House pressed and it started to come up.  He did a scan on it and read it.  It looks like some deep tissue bruising and possibly some bone bruising.  So I get mild things."

Dean stared at him.  "Why are they worried?"

"Because I felt the pain of losing it for over seven years and had percocet the entire time," he said quietly, glancing around.  Horatio was walking in.  "The AU's weren't good to it."

"I can understand that.  Is it a current issue?"

"Only the pain."  He grimaced.  "I've still got to run sword practice."

"I can."

"I can.  I've fought with worse.  That's the reason for painkillers after all."  He went to get one and Calleigh came in.  He handed her the blade he had picked for her.  "It's lighter, shorter so it'll fit your height, and it's a pretty strong mix.  You want to start out with a good, solid blade for practice.  That one has dull edges.  Enough to make you yelp if you get hit with it, but not enough to really cut you."  She nodded.  "Good.  Now, let's start with the basics."  He moved beside her, showing her the usual defensive moves.  She slowly moved through the series so he stopped to help her work on her form.  "Tighten your back.  Your upper body is fully being worked, not just your arms.  Lunging takes back and leg muscles."  She did that.

"Roll your shoulders back.  You should be alert, but not tense.  Tense means you have shorter lunges and your attention is too focused on the one in front of you.  Trust me, they came up behind you while you're fighting."  She nodded, doing it again.  Faith came over to help her.  She was a lot smoother.  "See how she flows into the movement?  That's something you get with practice.  Like with dancing.  That's more fencing and the fancy Spanish blade work, but it'll still work."  He showed her the next move then moved to lunge at her in a way that would show her how the moves went against someone attacking.  She got it and they moved a bit faster.  "You have natural grace and agility, Calleigh.  Let it out."  She let it flow a bit better, letting her body treat this like a strange new club dance.  It was easier.

Xander nodded and showed her the next move, showing her how to add it into the other moves.  She went through the whole series and smiled because she was getting it.  He went back to attacking her.  Then he showed her a few more advanced moves on Faith, who countered back with the simpler ones.  He moved and let Calleigh do the same.  She added in an extra step now and then to keep her balance and Xander nodded at those choices.  "Balance is important.  If you overbalance you fall.  Falling equals injury and possibly death.  We'll teach you how to get up from a fall later."  She nodded, getting back into it.  She finally got to the exhaustion point so he let her go.  "There we go.  Go shower and rest."

She smiled.  "It's a great workout."

"You should try it after construction all day," he teased.  She went to take a shower.  "Take it with you, practice those moves a few times each night."  She nodded, taking it with her instead of putting it back.  He looked at Faith.  "Are you tripping again?"

"It's the shoes."

He looked at her feet then at her.  "No spike heels.  Major Sheppard would be horrified."

"He's watching the bikini wearing rollerbladers," she teased, lunging at him.  He blocked and they went for real until he backed off holding his arm.  "I didn't even hit you."

"Thanks to Willow's thing my arm's deeply bruised," Xander said, letting her see.

She hissed.  "That's gotta hurt, X."

"Does."  He put his sleeve back down.  "Too much strain.  I'll be fine by the spring."

She nodded.  "I can understand that.  My foot had one after the last break."  He shuddered.  "You okay, X?"

"No.  I know I asked for the memory to be removed on purpose.  I'm guessing it was healed as much as it could be."

Dean looked over.  "It was.  The bruise is the last of it.  Once it fades we'll forget everything."

"I could like that."  He rubbed his arm again.  "Any liniment in here?"

"Office."  Faith got it for him and he went back to Shea's training since she was back.  Horatio was watching so he pulled him over to work with her.  He was a decent enough guy and Faith liked him well enough to nominate him as a watcher candidate.  They both gave him looks like he was strange.  "It comes up more often than you think, guys."

Faith nodded. "Slayers carry stakes, a sword of some sort, a break-apart crossbow, and a gun on their field calls," she said, looking at Shea.  That got a nod.  "Dean, her sword's too short.  Like you she needs long and thin."

"She doesn't like me like that, Faith," he said dryly, going to get her a different blade to practice with.  He ended up with one of the sharpened ones and covered the edges with a guard.  "Here, we'll try this one."  She took it and gave it a swing, wincing at the length.  "You get used to it."  He lunged at her and she instinctively blocked.  "Nice, but not good enough."  Faith came over to go over it with Horatio, the same set of moves Calleigh got taught.  He nodded, doing them with her.  Then they put the students together and it was better.  Dawn and Sam strolled in together.  "You two, practice sparring."

Dawn sighed, getting her sword, getting Sam his heavy ass sword, to her anyway, and they went at it.  They used live steel.  Sharp edges, bantering back and forth, and wow was Xander looking foul.  She paused to give him a hug and they both ducked a blow by Sam but she kneed him and they went back to it.  Xander smiled.  "Yes, you taught me," she teased.

"I taught you better than that, Dawn Summers."  She sighed and did it better, getting a nod.  "Good.  Sam, watch your back foot."  He glanced down then checked his footing better.  They went back to sparring and it was beautiful work.

Dean smiled, leaning on Faith's shoulder.  "Someday soon, Shea, you'll be doing that."

"That's....  Wow."

"Yes, I am that good," Dawn called.  Dean snickered.  Sam swatted her with the blade but she got out of the way then turned back to get him on the side.  Then the arm, making him wince and grab it.  "Oops.  You okay?"

"You got me with the flat of the blade, Dawn.  Just a bruise."  They went back to it and it was cool.

Wesley and John walked in.  "Good job, Dawn and Sammy.  Dean, you and Faith?"  They grabbed theirs and got into it.  When the two groups tangled, Dawn and Faith switched off effortlessly to attack the other guy, giving them a stunning show.  Dawn ended up tripping Dean and getting him down, blade tip at his throat.   Faith ended up on her ass thanks to Sam kicking her feet out from under her but that was fine too.  "Yield?" John called.

"Sure, why not," Faith said.

"This time," Dean agreed.  He got helped up.  He grinned at Horatio.  "We Winchesters don't use swords.  We've only been learning since we've been here.  That's why we teach machete work and Xander teaches swords.  None of the fancy moves but enough so you can use it to survive and if you want the fancy footwork you can ask Wes, because he fences and does the Spanish bladework."

"I'll remember that.  Good show you two."

Dawn smirked.  "I had to learn it too.  Things come after slayers and their families."  She nudged Faith.  "What is wrong with his arm?"

"Deep, bad bruise," Dean told her quietly.

"Ow."

"Very."  They looked at Shea, who moaned pitifully.  "Yup, your turn."  She sighed and got back to sparring with Horatio.  Wesley came in to help her with it.  Her more graceful nature would work better with the dancing styles.  It came with spins, pivots, and all that sort of footwork.  He taught her and she beamed, going at it that way.  He taught Horatio how to counter the more special moves until they were worn out.  Then they got released to shower and go eat.  Dean followed with Faith behind him.  Xander was already in there with House looking at his arm.  "He bruise it more?"

"Just made it hurt more.  Some activity is good.  Getting hit with a sword isn't."

Xander gave him a look.  "If it happens, it does.  I still have to be able to go on cases, House."

"You could lose it for real," he said quietly.

Xander shook his head.  "You said not unless the muscles were dying."

"Which is a good point because I'm always right but it also means less physical strain on it.  No carrying heavy things, gently work out, no lifting weights."

"Yes, House."

"Thank you."  He patted him on the shoulder, seeing the wince.  "Still?"

"Yeah."  He let him check that.  "I didn't twist funny teaching earlier."

"No, it's strained," he agreed.  "Daniel, can he have desk only cases for a week?"

"Sure, he's got two research cases and we're still trying to figure out the spring apocalypse."

"Thank you."  He looked at Xander.  "Rest it.  Before you hurt it worse and it's two weeks next time."

"I know.  Thank you."  He gave him a pat and went over to dig into dinner.  Thomas walked in looking chipper.  "Good news on the usual spring version of hell's power show?"

"Not yet, but I am happy to say the rest of my things are up here and settled into my apartment quite nicely.  My copying system is already set up and works quite well.  Now we can scan in more of the books while working on translations."  They all smiled at that.  "Any news on where Rupert is going to build the new library?"

"He's in God Knows Where land again," Kennedy said as she walked in.

Xander looked over.  "How did you get back?"

"Plane, then cab to the bus station, then hiked up from town."  She smirked.  "Surprised to see me?"

Xander considered it then licked his lips and shook his head.  "You're the second one who told her to cut it out or lose them."

"Let's hope I don't get hurt the same way then," she agreed.  She sat down across from him, smiling as Tara's robot came over to hug her.  "Hi, Tara."

"Hi, Kennedy.  Are you okay?  Would you like to talk?"

She smiled.  "I'd love to talk."  Tara beamed.  "After dinner?  I had airplane food for lunch."  Tara laughed and went back to puttering around in the labs.  She looked at Xander.  "You good?"  He showed her his arm.  She hissed.  "Ow."

House looked over.  "During it he lost it, Kennedy," he said quietly.  "He's lucky."

"We all are.  I have no idea what we'd do without common sense man here."  Xander smirked at that.  "You are."  She got a plate and settled in to eat.  "Do I still have a room?"

"Yup," Xander told her.  "Though you switched to Anna's old one when she claimed yours."

"That's fine," she agreed.  She looked at Wesley.  "I need reassigned for a while."

"Agreeable.  We're about to open a house in Vienna."

"Europe?" she asked, starting to tear up.  "I'll get to travel?"

"Of course.  The senior, most experienced girls would get those spots first.  There may be some traveling while you're over there."

"Can someone teach me to drive then?"

John sighed, nodding.  "You girls all need it."  Brenda squealed and hugged him around the neck.  "Easy, Brenda."  She beamed at him.  "Yes, you too because you drove bad enough to scare the demon possessing me that time."  She giggled and dug back in.

"As a reminder, girls, we need the prom list by the first of December," Wesley noted.  They all nodded.  "Thank you."  He looked at Kennedy.  "Did you attend yours?"

"I did and a few other formal events with my parents.  Why?"

"Tis prom seasons and it's scarier than any vamp ever created," Faith told her.  "When does Vienna open?"

"Around Valentine's Day on the current schedule.  The house had to be a bit modified.  A few of the larger bedrooms split up.  The room for sparring and practice padded a bit better.  Some better insulation."

They nodded.  "We can do that," Kennedy assured him.  "Can we toss whichever watcher is going with us out the window and into the river if he turns into Giles?"

"Of course," John agreed.  The other watchers all glared at him.  He glared back and they shrank away.  "If they can't act like decent human beings and protect you girls from some of your own worst instincts, then yes, they can go for a long swim."

"Then sign me up please."

Wesley nodded.  "We'll discuss with the girls coming off retrieval just before the holidays.  They'll get first pick and they can pick which girls are going with them.  There's the new Asian house, the one going up in upper Germany.  There's a single girl in Rome."  Kennedy moaned at that, giving him a begging look.  He smiled.  "They get first pick."

"Of course.  I have skills I need to learn anyway.  Please, John?"

"Of course, Kennedy.  One of us can teach you."

Dean gave him a long look.  "I taught Sammy.  You had it easy with me, my only problem was too much speed now and then, Dad."  John gave him a dirty look.   "You made me teach Sammy, you can teach the girls how to drive like a good dad would."  He beamed.

"Take one of the old sedans, John," Daniel called.  "Use the parking lot out back that no one else uses."

"That'll work."

"I can teach you how to ride a bike but you will not be riding mine," Shea told her.  Kennedy beamed.  "Not much different and they always show people in Rome on mopeds."

"Sure, I'd like the lesson.  I know if you have a personal vehicle it's your baby like John's truck is his."

She nodded. "It is.  By the way, I'm Shea."

"Kennedy."  They shook hands.  "I was in Cleveland."

"Should I worry about some of the rumors the girls tell?"

She laughed.  "I was with Willow until late last night.  I'm not one of the skanky brats."  That got a smirk.  "Are you newly found?"

"No, my parents are hunters so I'm brushing up on technique.  Had a bit of a fight with my mother."

"Bit is a bit light," John said dryly.  Shea glared at him.  "I called to tell her you had made it okay.  She spent thirty minutes complaining, Shea."

"Not my fault she's a bitch."

"True and I agree with most of your points.  A few are a bit more childish but you'll finish growing up like the boys did."  She smirked at that.  "Even Sammy got over some of the kiddy things he did."

"Good point.  Did she send the pictures from the times we babysat Dean?"

"She did send me copies in my email."  Both boys moaned at that, slumping down some.

"Oooh, baby Dean pictures," Dawn cooed.  "Were you adorable?"

"More than I am now," he taunted with a smirk.

"Now you're hot, not adorable, Dean," she shot back.  "Whole big difference.  Babies are cute and adorable."

"Good point.  Are you going to the prom?"

"Next year unless I'm asked.  No one's asked so I don't think I am.  I have a good idea what I want in a dress for then, I'll have to look at the updated styles but I'm sure I can do that."  They all nodded.  "Who else is going?"  A few of the older girls raised their hands.  "Emma, you're eligible."

"Broke up with the puss sucker."

"Ah.  Never mind."

"If I do get a boyfriend by say, March, and he invites me would it be too late?" she asked Xander, who shrugged.  "Stella, if I got a boyfriend by March and he asked me would it be too late for me to do prom things?"

"No, dear.  You might have a problem getting a good hair appointment any later than that but yours is pretty easy to do on your own."

"Cool."  She smiled.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Look at the dress options anyway, just in case, ladies.  Some guys do ask at the last minute."  They all nodded and she went back to eating.  Horatio gave her a look.  "I had to have help shopping for mine."

"Maybe Morgan and Crissy can help," Kennedy offered.  "LA has a lot more shops."

"Crissy's pregnant," Xander told her.

"Since when?"

"Since the week they had to help deliver the baby slime demon."

"Awwww.  We never heard that."

"I told Giles."

"As far as I know Buffy doesn't even know that."  She called her.  "Did you know Crissy's pregnant?  I thought Cho was rotating out due to school schedules."  She smiled.  "Apparently.  Sure."  She hung up.  "Buffy wants to know why the white lighter beat Willow."

"We had our memories removed at our own request," Xander said simply.

Kennedy looked at his arm then nodded.  "I can see why.  Worse than when she lost it?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," Xander said.  "Leo said they almost gave her a white lighter then but I had stepped in too fast to bring her back down.  This time, eve D'Hoffryn got into it.  So I'm going to guess she went past that level."

She grimaced.  "Then I'm single."

Xander nodded. "I can understand."  He ate some dinner and waved his fork.  She dug in too.  He went back to eating, noticing a few people staring at him.  "It's a very deep muscle and bone bruise, people.  I'm fine.  Just really sore in that one spot."

"You're on appropriate meds?" Mac asked.

House nodded.  "The liquid stuff we give you guys is non-habit forming," he assured him.  "He can take it for however long he needs it and won't get hooked."

"Even better."

"It's also herbal," Chase said happily.  "Works very well."

"I loved that stuff when I broke my leg," Anna agreed.  "There's nothing better than that stuff.  I didn't even feel it."  She looked at Xander then at House.  "Is it maybe because he ignores so much?  My leg didn't hurt me that much."

"It's because he has more muscle mass there," House told her.  "Plus there's other trauma that apparently got healed.  Your leg was a clean break, no muscle trauma around it."

"Oh.  Okay.  Good to know."  She smiled, walking over to give Xander a hug.   He patted her back.  "We can have a movie night if you want.  You can come watch with us."

"I might do that."  She beamed and went back to dinner.  A few of the first ones done went to clean up the common area's mess and Xander finished up, going to watch tv with them.

Daniel sighed.  "Some of us do remember a bit of what happened."  Kennedy raised her head.  "Willow was trying to find a spot where she could be the girl she was before she found her magic addiction.  She was going to spare Xander as well, thinking that it'd help the girls and keep the world.  She ended up trapping a wish demon."  Kennedy moaned.  "We do know that there were at least five alternate realities he lived through and it took him about eight years.  We also know that at one point in time he lost that arm defending my old base from an attack after we lost during the invasion in LA."  Everyone shuddered at that.   "He was helping with the resistance movement."  They all groaned.  "So yes, it was badly damaged.  It's been healed.  It'll keep being healed.  It's just going to take some time and some aching."  House nodded at that.  "So leave him alone about it.  He'll go find something when it starts to ache."

"He's a bad one about his pain tolerances," House warned Calleigh, who nodded.  "He should not have been teaching swordwork today.  I want him on his desk for the next week."

"Of course.  Unless there's an emergency."  He smiled.  "Remember the last shared dream?"  House nodded.  "The rest of them decided to attack the base."

"I remember him calling Jack," Chase said.

"Jack locked it down, expecting the usual attack.  While locked down, they attacked the main gateway up top.  Since they were in lockdown no one called down to tell Jack so he found out about it afterward.  He thought Xander had been wrong until then."  They all smirked.  Xander walked in.  "Jack called."  Xander paused to look at him.  "They attacked the main gate instead of the usual way.  No one told him until he ended the base lockdown a few days later."  Xander snorted, shaking his head.  "So you were right.  Jack said thank you."

Xander grinned.  "Not a problem.  Did we find my gun and all that?"

"Leo has it," Dawn called.  "Piper texted to say it's there.  I'll get it later."

"Thanks, Dawnie."  He kissed her on the head, got another soda, and went to watch movies with the girls.  He did feel miserable and tired.  They gave him the end of the couch and curled against his free side, earning a smile.  He loved the younger girls.  "No homework, right?"  They shook their heads and put in Caddyshack for him.  It was much appreciated.

Dawn walked in a bit later, looking at him.  "The scythe?" she asked quietly.

"The first world I think."

She nodded. "Okay then."  She left with a smile.  That went into a special case in the library with a card detailing the spell and what the scythe did.  Thomas looked over her shoulder but nodded his approval and made sure the case would lock. She put it in there then carried the rest of the bag down to the infirmary.  The book had been left up there.  "Hey, House?"  He looked over.  "His bag of pilfered items."

"How long were they gone?" Chase asked.

"Eight years but about thirty minutes here," Dawn told him.

"Then I'm not sure if they're good or not."

"We can test some of them," House told him.  He emptied the bag, looking at the gun.  Dawn took it and the empty clip.  House looked at the other drugs, nodding at his first aid kit.  "He probably used all the bandages."  Dawn handed over the other bag.  He dumped that onto the same bed, blinking at it.  "Well, that's nice."  He picked six vials at random to test.  They came up good so he stocked the pantry.  Painkillers in varied strengths.  Bandages.  Tape.  More painkillers.  And a few other nice drugs he had grabbed on instinct.  Some strong, injectable antibiotics.  A few sample packs of them, Immodium, and a few other OTC drugs.  A few other painkillers.  Then one last vial that was opened.  He stared at it then went to find the boy.  "Hey.  Infirmary, now," he ordered.

"Why?" Mary asked.

"In the bag was something that was open, I need to check something I didn't."  Xander sighed but got up with a moan to follow him.  He handed him the bottle.  Xander stared then squeezed his eyes shut as things came back.  "When?"

"I picked it up in the second world.  They had a plague.  A demon version of a cold that went rampant."  He handed it back.  "It was to help me the one time I got overstressed, House.  I found a library and looked up the dosage first."

House nodded.  "I can see that happening.  Any new problems?"

"No."

"As soon as you're done tonight you're getting a new EKG.  Am I clear?"  Xander nodded.  "Arm hut more or less?"

"More," he whined.

"One dose."  Xander nodded, taking the painkiller House had brought up with him.  "Better?"

"Slightly but I can't feel my fingers."  He looked then wiggled.  "Is this phantom limb pain?"

"I think so.  Carry over from the mental trauma too."  He looked at his arm.  The bruise was darker.  "I want to do another scan."  Xander nodded, letting himself be lead down there.  He put on the EKG during it to make sure he was okay.  He could excuse it as making sure he wasn't going to have a bad reaction to being confined in the MRI.  What he saw was good.  Very good.  What he saw on the MRI wasn't.  He came in to show him, then handed him the sling.  Xander put it on with a sigh but he could handle that for a week.  House let him go back to the movies and made comprehensive notes in his chart, all but the percocets.  No one needed to know that.  The new one he had given was strong enough, he hoped.  It looked like his arm was trying to eat itself.

***

John came in from his first driving lesson pale, shaky, and tired.  He went for coffee, then the flask in his desk.  Dean had picked some of it up by watching him drive them everywhere.  Sammy too.  Kennedy hadn't picked up anything about driving.  Anywhere.  He saw Horatio and smiled.  "Horatio, go help Kennedy please?"  He sipped his coffee.

"That bad?" he asked with a smile.

"She had a driver when she was younger."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I've never taught anyone to drive, John.  You might ask Mac."

"Danny!" Jack called.  "They sent me back to you again!"

"Or him," Horatio offered.

John smirked, texting Kennedy.  She came squealing in and dragged Jack off to help her learn how to drive.  He was Air Force so he knew how to fly.  He might have even taught someone how to fly.  Not much different with the way the girls drove.  He finished his laced coffee, going to hide in his office.  Brenda pouted at him.  "What?"

"You did Kennedy first?"

"She's being assigned off base sooner and you need to bring up your English grade, young lady."

"Yes, John."  She smiled.  "Can I have minor ones?"

"Let me have some more coffee.  Without the liquor."  She nodded, bouncing out to get ready for her lesson.  He went to pull out another of the older sedans.  Brenda knew what a steering wheel was so that was good.  She was nervous behind the wheel and tended to over compensate during turns.  He had some more laced coffee for lunch and let Sammy handle it.  He was a good big brother to Brenda.  She went to pounce him and get him to help.  He was a lot more patient and Dean came to help too by setting up an obstacle course to drive through.  They all grinned at the general, who was weak and shaky too.

"She might be in Rome soon," Brenda said as she gave him a pat on the arm.  "They ride mopeds there."

"They drive like maniacs too," he told her.  "She'll fit in very well."  Kennedy pouted.  "You will."

"I'm trying to be good," she pouted.  "I think I broke John earlier."

"I did it for lunch," Brenda told her.  That got a smirk shared between them.  Xander got pulled out by Dawn for her turn.  Xander got them all in the same car, showing them how to do the obstacle course.  Then he let each one do it while the others watched and critiqued.  Dean bribed them with chocolate and it went better.

Xander looked at Jack.  "Mine had us start out by doing donuts in a filled parking lot."  Jack moaned.  "So many of us nearly hit other cars.  Then he had us switch directions in the middle so we got used to how the car handled.  I say we hire a driver's ed instructor for a month."

Jack nodded.  "Could work."  He went to suggest that to Danny.  Daniel called the FBI academy's person over that to get him to suggest someone, warning him the girls were just now learning to drive and some of them were going to be in Europe soon.  They got loaned someone from the academy by an agent who had taught his own daughter how to drive recently.  Jack looked at Danny.  "I see you finally decorated."

"I organized."

"I noticed there's no pile of books with papers sticking out."  He smirked.  "Did you have to torture me?"

"I think John did that."

"Once a jarhead always a jarhead," Jack decided.  It was a mean prank. "Anything new?"

"Not really."  He looked at him.  "Why?"

"Harris looks rough."

"He had an incident but he doesn't have his memories of it."

"Bet me, they came back," Xander called as he walked past to the squad room.  He got taken by an Elder and fixed again, plus his arm got some healing energy put into it too.

"It's been a wild few days but only Xander knew," he told him quietly.

"That bad?" Jack asked.

"Let's just say Willow decided to play what if and even the quantum mirrors were nicer.  He's still bruised from some of it and we're not sure why."

Jack just nodded.  "That's rough.  He be okay?"

"He asked to have his memories taken and they're apparently doing that again."

"Damn.  She get punished this time?"

"Oh, yes.  Wesley talked to Rupert, who was most pleased that the first thing her new guardian did was beat the hell out of her ass."

Jack smirked.  "She probably needed it."  Daniel nodded.  "Why do you remember?"

"I don't know.  House and I both know.  It could be a genius issue, we both are and therefore you can't remove it from us maybe?"  He shrugged then he grinned. "I'm just glad at least one of them is staying until they get us someone new."

Sam walked in.  "Found it."  He put down the book.  "Yes, they needed the artillery."

Daniel read then grimaced.  "The Old Ones returning to unite with the usurpers."  He read further down then looked at Jack.  "The older demons and the gou'ald are going to team up."

"Are the demons going to be possessed or are they going to eat them?  'Cause, gotta say, I'm not saving their butts if they are."

"No, it says they're going to unite forces to take over this world.  Then they'll fight over it."  He smirked.  "The enemy of my enemy...."

"Usually wants to kill us too," Jack finished dryly.  "Usually with torture because they think it's a good thing and we were part of their enemy anyway."

"Good point.  So if it happens, it looks like it's out of both our jurisdictions."

"Yeah, right," Jack snorted.

Daniel got up to copy it then sent the copy to the White House with a cover letter saying this was the next apocalypse and could he please warn the Egyptians for them.  Then he sat back down.  "So, why are you here?"  Xander appeared and wobbled for a second then growled...something arcane and disappeared in a heavy flash of light and enough concussive force to knock them both out of their chairs.

"Oops, someone's pissed."

"I haven't seen him that mad since he went to help Dawn have a go at the Powers.  Someone's going to be in shreds."  Xander reappeared and they noticed his sore arm was now back in the sling, looked much more healthy, and was actually there, unlike when he showed up the last time.   "You okay?"

"No," Xander said.  "I found out I had to kill an innocent she had captured to do the wish granting to stop it."

"You saved us all by taking out one person?" Jack asked.  Xander nodded.  "That's not a bad thing, kid.  Even if she was begging you not to, it's not a bad thing.  That doesn't make you a bad person.  It means you did what you had to do and it sucks."  Xander nodded at that.  "If you don't believe me, ask the other Marines on base."

"I might take a few days and go to Hermosa Beach," he sighed.  "Yes, my arm's still bruised but they didn't take it off this time.  Now they've found the interior fracture that's only halfway through to the outside of the bone.  I'm going to be on my desk for *weeks*."

"Yes, you are," Daniel agreed.  "Go see Benny Ray and talk to him, Xander.  Come back by Monday."  He nodded, going to make arrangements and get himself to the airport.  Daniel sighed, calling House.  "Someone found out the break on his arm bone is on the inside?"  He smirked.  "They took you too?  What about the bruising?"  He nodded.  "That makes more sense.  Thank you, House.  Going to talk to someone in LA.  It's ... what he had to do to stop it is bothering him."  House said something quietly while closing his office door.  Daniel whimpered.  "That bad?"  House gave him the facts as he had it.  He nodded once.

"Then yes, he needs the healing time.  Let me know when he can go back on field cases.  Calleigh could use the primer on how to work with him anyway.  Thank you."  He hung up and Daniel looked at his friend.  "In the first one, the girls died in the explosion.  There were only three slayers available for the invasion."  Jack shuddered.  "He spent over a year being the resistance with that portal open, fighting to keep it from spreading while we evacuated the rest of the US through the gate."  Jack grimaced.  "They finally got it closed thanks to a gou'ald wanting to come brag and capture them for their warrior force to finish taking down the mountain.  They closed it, came to help us, jumped in to help clear the base, and he died there after a staff weapon took off his arm.  That pain lasted through another five lives and approximately seven years total."

Jack shuddered, full body, all over shuddered.  "Is it an omen?"

"No, Rosenburg was playing 'what if' to try to get back to the person she was before her addiction.  She was taking him out of the hunting through various times in the past."

"The others will help him," Jack reminded him.

"I can only hope so.  I don't want to lose Xander, Jack.  He's important here and he's a good friend."

"I know.  We all have a case that makes us want to step back.  This is his."

"He's been doing this so long and I think it built up."  Jack nodded at that.  "I'm hoping Benny Ray and Matt can help him settle it in is own mind.  Once it does, they'll fade again."

"They won't need to."

"The Elders agreed no one should know.  She'd be hunted as a rogue and they need her heft for emergencies.  Dawn's not trained enough yet.  Her girlfriend left her because of this.  She got a guardian witch over her usage.  She lost her magic for six months as well."

"So it happened but it never happened?"  Daniel nodded.  "That's usually harder to wrap the mind around than anything else."

"Xander is a gentle guy underneath."

"Guys in 'Nam had the same problem, Danny, and they made it through.  Xander's as tough as they were."

"I know.  I'm hoping he stays that way."

John leaned in.  "He will.  He asked and I gave him the truth.  He's thinking but he's doing his own therapy.  I've already called out there to warn them he needs to talk about it.  They're local, just got done with a job."

"Thank you."

"Not an issue.  What about his research cases?"

"One's a spirit.  One's not.  See if Dean can use it to field test anyone."

"Got it."  He went to look, finding the desk empty.  "Did we steal Xander's cases again?"  Don Flack nodded with a smirk.  "That's fine.  Dean's talking about field testing soon."

"I've got three ghosts in a house that keep trying to knock the roof off with a mini tornado," Danny offered.

"That could do it."  He took it and walked out reading it.  That would work.  He handed it to Dean, who went to tell the girls to pack.

***

Xander walked into the bar and up to it, putting his wallet down.  "Beer me please?"  She got him one and handed it over, letting him pay for it.

Benny Ray spotted him and came over to sit next to him.  "Usually when you look that bad it makes the news."

Xander took a sip and didn't look at him.  "Willow was playing 'I want out of this life' and making wishes using me so I got to visit a lot of places and had to stop her from doing it."

"She being punished?"

"Her and me both," he said, looking at him.  "The one she had trapped and was forcing to do it for her had to go.  By my gun," he said quietly.

Benny Ray considered it then nodded.  "Let's go bum the office, Xander."  He nodded, bringing his beer with him.  That was more telling than anything.  Xander hardly ever drank thanks to his parents.  Matt looked up and got off the phone.  "It was bad."

"It was worse than bad," Xander said, sitting down.  He looked at them.  "Want to hear the whole f-ed up thing or just the part where I had to do the demon she had trapped to get free of it?"

"The whole thing, Xander.  It can only help you to get it out."  Xander took another drink and started off on what happened.  In complete, gory, realistic details that made them sick.  Up until the last one.  That one he glossed over some of the worst things.  They got the point and they knew what had happened, but they didn't need to know the full details.  Then Xander told them about the end and Matt considered it then he sighed.  "A soldier does what he has to do to protect innocent lives.  If that means shooting an innocent to protect them because they're causing the danger, then so be it," he said finally.  "You could have shot Willow."

"I don't want to think that I shot her dead just because she was the demon.  I don't know why I picked that option.  If the hunting got to me?  If it was because she was demonic?  If it was because it was Willow?"

"You said once you had to stake your other best friend," Benny Ray told him.  Xander nodded, looking pitiful.  "Could you go through that again?"  Xander shook his head, finishing his beer.  "Then your mind and heart made the decision to take the shot that gave you less pain.  Even wounding her would've sent you into worse guilt.  At the time, you were hyped on painkillers for your arm.  You were in emotional pain from all this.  Your mind was at the point of shutting down because of all that.  It made a subconscious decision that said the demon would be easier to bear on your soul."

"It's something we all hope we don't have to face but too many of us do, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "Your arm's still hurt?"

"It's broken from the inside.  A lot of muscle bruising.  Hurts like a bitch.  Even our herbal painkiller isn't helping any.  I don't know if any of it's psychological since I keep checking my fingers to make sure they're still there."  He shifted, crossing his feet.  "If it was, then it shouldn't hurt."

"Taking a life, even a demonic one, should always hurt."

"Hunting doesn't make me feel like this."

"No, but hunting is necessary.  You've managed to turn hunting into something like fishing in your mind.  You're fishing for sharks before they eat people."  Xander nodded that was true.  "In this case, you had to fish for something that's a pretty trophy fish and didn't mean to."

"Three of those worlds had no people, right?" Benny Ray asked.

"Including the last one I didn't get sucked into?  Yes.  The others had greatly reduced ones too," Xander agreed.

"Then that means you saved them, Xander.   You saved billions of lives.  Women, kids, harmless demons and not, by doing that one.  Would she guilt trip you?"  Xander nodded.  "You sure?"  He nodded again.  "Why are you sure?"

"She said so.  The Elders Council called her shade back to talk to her."

"Could this guilt be a curse?" Benny Ray asked.

"No, I've had this before.   Before I could work my way out of it.  This time I'm sinking."

"That's because you have all the other issues on top of it," Matt said.  "The issue with your arm.  The memories that aren't real.  The painkillers you had to take for your arm.  All the death and destruction you saw.  The incarceration with that demon and what he did to you.  Any of those alone would ruin someone's soul and mind, Xander."

Xander sighed, nodding a bit.  "I get that, objectively, up in my head.  But why pick on me?"

"What did she say?" Benny Ray asked.

"She said I was the lynchpin and taking me out would let me be happy and she could be happier if I was happy, plus the slayer would be happier since not so many would be in danger."

"So she was trying to get back to where she was happy by changing your life," Matt said. Xander nodded.  "That's extremely faulty thinking, Xander.  You can only be happy in your own life, not because of someone else's."

Xander nodded. "I guess I can see that."

"You need to move past the shooting to deal with the other issues.  That's what's really bogging you down," Benny Ray offered.  "That's the manhole cover to the sewer inside."

"Nice way of putting it," Matt complained.

"No, he's right.  It is a sewer."

"Not because it's you or in you, Xander, just because they're bad memories," Benny Ray offered.  "Anyone would be a broken wreck at the moment."  Xander blinked at him.  That's when he realized the kid wasn't that old.  "You're what, twenty-four?"

"Almost."

"Most kids your age would only need one of those to snap mentally and lose it.  You've handled it so far.  If burying it won't work, work through it and then lock it up somehow."

"It's bleeding over that bond to Dean and Sam, plus Dawn saw some of it in graphic detail."

"If theirs are gone, are they going to get them?" Matt asked.

"They said it's very possible.  That's why I tried to block it off.  Dawn especially doesn't need this.  The guys get their own nightmares and don't need mine."

"This is a situation where you have to take care of yourself first, Xander," Matt said calmly.  He hated that the kid did that sometimes.  His self esteem and self worth was so low he put anyone ahead of him.  Granted, those ones deserved to be thought of but he had to put himself first this time to even start healing.

Benny Ray nodded.  "Think about it this way, Xander.  A married woman gets...violated.  It impacts her life, whoever she's in a relationship with and if they have kids them too.  While it hurts the family because they're watching her heal, she has to heal herself before she can help them heal too.  You can help them, but only after you've fixed yourself.  Because if you can't then no one can help you with them.  They'll keep getting it through the bond."

Xander stared at him.  "Maybe I do."

"Yeah, you do," Matt agreed. "Once you've dealt with yours it won't go through the bond to infect them.  The memory blocks might even work after that.  Right now, your mind is stressed out and limp with the pain.  It needs to rest and heal itself before it can go back to work healing others.  You can't work cases, help the girls, any of that, until you're able to move on from this trauma and keep yourself level and evened out again."

Xander nodded, slumping some.  "I guess.  I have no idea how to do that."

"Does telling us help any?" Benny Ray asked.  "Most head shrinkers make you talk things to death until you get tired of hearing about them."

Xander grimaced then shrugged.  "Not really.  Putting a big sign on me more than anything."

"We'd never judge you unless you opened fire in the mall or something," Matt said.

"If that stupid curse comes back and I get another eight women who decide to be evil enough to want me all at once in the mall I might," he said grimly.  He was nearly pouting.  They both gave him funny looks.  "It turns out if you kill a certain type of demon you get a stink on you that comes out when you need...stress relief of one form or another.  In one day, I had one of Danny's former job issues come up to me to try to enslave me to be her minion and seven other bad girls who decided I was fun to try to take hostage, pay for things for me, and all that.  Two with bombs.  If I get another day like that, I won't promise but I won't hit anyone who's not involved.  See, that's what's getting me.  I can deal with the torture.  I can deal with the rest.  It's the fact I killed an innocent."

"She was a vengeance demon, not that innocent," Matt offered.

"In that situation she was being held hostage and being made to do it.  She even tried to change shapes to make it easier on me but it's not."

"Ever see the movie _Speed_?" Matt asked.  Xander nodded slowly.  "What do you do when he has a hostage and is getting away?"

"Shoot the hostage but they didn't mean fatally!"

"You take the shot you can get," Benny Ray countered.  "It was the best one.  Your mind was on autopilot."

"My mind is vicious," Xander said.

"Could be," Benny Ray agreed.  "Especially with your possession history."

"Hell, I sucked up two docs in one," he admitted, rubbing his face with his good hand.  "I don't even know why my arm still hurts."  He looked at him.  "So my mind, while working on its own, decided to do it the economical way?"  They nodded.

"It doesn't mean you'll do it again if you have to," Matt said.  "When I had that one, I hesitated a minute too long.  It got someone killed."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "The soul is the referee for the mind.  Your soul is damaged from all the swamp you had to go through.  Your mind ran on its own and while you're sorry you did it, we might all be trapped there if you hadn't."

"That would suck worse," Benny Ray agreed.

Xander nodded, considering that.  "So my mind did it for me and picked the most expedient way, I hate Tim words," he sighed. "But it took the shot because it had to."  They nodded.  "And it won't happen again?"

"There's a fifty percent chance of you freezing totally the next time you have to take any sort of shot," Benny Ray told him.  "I had to walk a number of students through it.  Doing it that way shows your training.  Angsting over it later shows your soul."

Xander got up to pace while he thought about that.  "What about my arm?"

"It'll heal, hopefully," Matt said.  "If not, fall back to the armory."

Xander grimaced but nodded.  "I guess.  Why hasn't it?"

"If they couldn't tell you, we can't," Matt reminded him. "Find one of those healers."  Xander nodded at that advice.  "Or ask House."

"He tried.  He thinks it should be healed too."

"Then maybe they'll be able to figure it out."  Matt smiled.  "You can handle it, Xander.  You're strong and you can.  We'll help if we can."

Xander nodded, stopping his pacing to stare at the door then he looked at them.  "Maybe it'll help if I go think about that.  Decent hotel?"

Matt pointed behind him.  "Sixteen blocks that way.  Morgan works there on her off schedule nights."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "She wanted to build up a short job history."

"Work study."

"She said it counted more this way.  No idea why.  She said she's still getting her patrol allowance and all that; she wanted to work."

"I guess.  Though, I don't want to go near the girls for this."

"They'll know.  They have squeal sensing radar and Crissy will cry on you," Benny Ray said, giving him a little smirk. "So will the young'un."

"Good point."  They smirked.  "Thanks, guys."  He made sure he had his wallet then left, going to find a healer first.  He found their clinic and looked at the sign.  Still open but the lights were off.  That meant it was underground demon night.  He walked in and a few tensed. "Not in on a case.  I need one to look at my arm.  Something not even House can figure out is going on."  He walked up to sign in and the receptionist gave him an odd look.  He shrugged a bit then winced.  "Trauma."

"Don't your kind have hospitals?"

"Not even House and the Elders can figure it out," he said quietly.

"Ah.  One of those.  It will be a while."

"I need to think anyway."  She nodded so he went to sit down in a corner and think.  He did come out of it at a poke, looking at the small demon.  He knew their species and they were all small but this was a child.  "What's up, little one?" he asked in their language.  The child smiled at him.  "Did you need my seat?"

"No, he felt like poking you.  He did it to others," another demon said.  "He's a human, go see your mother."  The child ran off.  "He's sorry."

Xander smiled.  "It's good to see happy children.  It really is."

"You could spawn."

Xander snorted.  "I'd mess up so fast they'd take the baby from me at the hospital."

"You do good with the slayers."

"To them I only have to be a big brother and help them.  Raising a child is different and takes a lot more work.  With my case schedule?  I'd never get anything done."  He stood up when his name was called, listening to the silence.  "What?  Even I get hurt."  He walked back there.  The nurse did her usual checks and put him into a room.  Two demons came in and he waved.  "House can't figure out what's wrong with my arm."

The healer of the two stared at him.  "So you come to us?"

"The White Light elder I talked to couldn't either."   He looked down then at her.  "The original injury happened when Willow created a wish 'verse of her own.  In the first one.  It got shot off.  I did another five after that and nearly a sixth.  It's been a few days."

The healer came forward to remove the sling and check him over.  "I have heard how he treated our kind when we came to work with him.  What did he say?"

"They found out that it's broken inside the bone but not outside.  That the muscles are severely bruised.  But if it never happened, which was the outcome of fixing it, then why is it just as sore now as it was when it got shot off?"

"Is that realm closed?"

"I don't know.  You think I linked with my twin there?"  She nodded.  "But if it never happened...."

"You have how many spirits in you?"

"Two new docs as well."  He blinked.  "In that one I died from the injury I took protecting the base in Colorado.  The wish was to remove me after the battle in Sunnydale.  That I walked away when the girls gave me their crap speech."

She considered it.  "I can check but it may hurt more."

"Not even our painkillers are killing it, ma'am."

She nodded.  "That sounds more and more like you're linked to him at the moment when you left."

"I left after I died."

"The last moment your body remembers perhaps."  She got to work touching his arm lightly, scanning it to see what was going on.  What she saw disgusted her.  "Get me the witch on staff."  The bodyguard went to do that.  "There is a magical drain there."

"I'm told mine is more from a void than the earth."

"Indeed.  Which is what is eating the muscles.  Beyond that, the damage done was never properly healed.  They healed the superficial, not the total damage."  She looked at him.  "What took it off?"

"A staff weapon.  We were on the Cheyenne Mountain base.  Her wish meant that the slayers died in the explosion so we lost the invasion and I had been running a resistance movement here in LA since then."

She grimaced.  "It is much damage you took."

"Is my mental healing stopping it?"

"No.  That is necessary as well but it will not impact the physical."  The witch came in to fix the problem and then the other problem he had, banishing the two doctors.  Then they went to work on the injury.  In her line of work, there were three bodies:  the corporeal, the incorporeal that housed the spirit, and the soul.  The last two were still damaged and hemorrhaging from the missing limb.  She healed the injury, linked them back to his physical arm again.

"Hey, I can feel my fingers."

She smiled.  "That is good  in your line of work."  He nodded, letting them finish up.  It was not a perfect job, with the limb severed on the other two planes it was one that may grow back. After all, the soul grew to replace what went to a child.  It would regrow that limb with any luck.  The middle layer all they could do was link it into the physical flesh.  "It should not impact the usage."  The boy sighed in relief.  "It will still have to finish healing the physical injuries."

"I expected that."  He smiled at her.  "Thank you."

"It is not a problem."

The witch stopped him from moving.  "You must heal, hunter.  Your traumas will become the traumas of others."

"I'm trying."

"You try hard, but you must put up your mental shields so that they do not leak across that bond you have."

"I had to shoot an innocent demon to make her stop," he said bluntly.  "I should beat myself up about that."

"Yes, you should," she agreed. "It speaks well of you.  It will still cross over and that is what the Elders were worried about.  That you would hurt others with the knowledge."

"I'm trying."

"Then try all you must, but put up those shields."

He smirked.  "I've never managed to shield myself."  She groaned.  "Ever.  The one keeping out spirits is from someone else.  Anytime I try, I get blocked."

She nodded.  "Then do what you can.  You have time to suppress or handle them before they leak too badly."

"Two are other hunters, the other's the sister of a slayer."

"Then they'll understand and may help you."  He nodded at that so she let him go.  He was flexing his hand.  His arm was still bruised, the bone still broken, but now the main problem had been healed so the other could be.

***

Xander looked up as his motel room door was knocked on, going over to open it.  "Connor."

"I feel like you these days.  I'm surrounded by girls who make *no* sense!  Hormones are evil and they're driving me nuts!"

"You can't hang with Gunn?" he asked, letting him in.  "How did you know I was here?"

"You showed up at a demon healing clinic, Xander.  It's all over town."

"My arm."  He closed the door.  "The girls will even out."

"No they won't!  They're cooing over pony decorations today."

"The baby's a girl?"

Connor nodded.  "Yeah, it's a girl.  She never told you guys?"

"If she did, I hadn't heard."  He sat down and took a sip from his beer.  "What else is going on?  I'm not in town to check on anyone."

"Figured that.  They said you had to be hurt pretty bad if House couldn't figure it out."

"Cordy ever tell you about the wish verse?"

"Barely.  That it happened.  Angel said more."

"Willow created a few."

"Oh, no.  You got hurt there?"  Xander nodded.  "So why are you hurt here?"

"Because there I lost the arm and the way it was healed didn't match the physical world fully from what the healer said.  So it was like I was still bleeding from my arm stump and about to die but here it was whole so I was only bleeding into the muscles.  They fixed that and now it'll actually heal."  He took another drink.  "How are they?"

"They're good.  The little demon's going to pout if you don't stop in."

"Tomorrow's Sunday, I'll pop in after lunch, before I head home."

Connor nodded.  "That's cool.  So what happened?"  Xander stared at him.  "Morgan told me to come make you talk about it, that it'd help you if you babbled it at someone."

"I did.  I came out to talk to the Major and Benny Ray."  His phone rang and he looked at it.  "Giles."  He answered it.  "Yeah?  LA taking a few days of vacation time.  Because I'm injured and House couldn't fix it this time, Giles.  I came to see one of the healers locally who could.  No, now instead of hurting more it's actually getting better."  He took another drink.  "I'm looking at Connor.  Tell the girls Crissy's baby is a daughter."  He looked at the phone then put it back against his ear.  "Excuse me?"  He listened to him.  "One beer does not make me an alcoholic, Giles, and since it's my second of the day, and I just had to put up with Willow's shit again I deserve to have a few beers.   The last time I had any was Vegas if I remember right, over a year ago.  Unlike you who used to drink every day, I'm not."  He hung up with a sigh, looking at the amused other man.  "If I ask would you go kick his ass for me?"

"I can do that."  He smirked.  "They really are scary."

"Yeah, being surrounded by creatures you'll never understand is.  I asked Daniel once why linguists like him hadn't taken on women's communication styles and he said it was too deep a mystery even for them."  Connor cackled.  "How's things otherwise?"

"Decent enough.  Those we are worried about are worried about the spring apocalypse."

"The only one we found said that it's to the east.  Not on this coast and maybe not even in this country."

"That's handy.  So we might have some that'll take advantage of that then."  Xander nodded.  "I can start to spread that around, get intel for you guys.  Where is Wesley?"

"Just barely back from the Caribbean.  He was down helping the people pack up Thomas's stuff."  He finished his beer and tossed out the can.  Connor gave him an odd look.  "I deserve it now and then."

"It was that bad?"

"Three worlds without people including the last one I only had to see into.  One that had a nuclear explosion right after I left it."

"Damn," he said, staring at his friend.  "You all right?"

"Working through it and the nightmares won't come if I'm a bit plastered."

"Maybe you just won't remember."

"No, they won't come."  He smirked.  "One now and then does not make me an alchie like my parents."

"No, it's one every day that makes you an alchie like your parents," Connor agreed.

"The only thing I drink every day is soda."  That got a smirk.  "So, anything else new and exciting going on?"

"No.  You sure you don't want to tell someone about it?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  I'm here if you call Morgan.  She'll make me come talk because apparently that's a girl ritual of some sort."

"Yes it is," Xander said happily.  "She have any names she likes?"

"She has a whole list of names she likes and she's considering them."  Xander grinned at that.  Connor stood up.  "I'll let her know you're okay.  Feel better, Xander.  Someone has to beat Dawn for being a brat."

"She has been today?"

"No but I'm sure she will soon."

"I'll let her know you want to shop with her."

"Oh hell no.  I do enough of that with Crissy."  He walked out shuddering, making Xander laugh.  He went back to their lair, finding Don Epps there. "Xander's dealing in his own way and he'll try to pop around tomorrow."

Don nodded.  "What happened?"

"Willow."

"Again!" Morgan demanded.

Connor held up a hand.  "He said Willow created her own wish 'verse."  They all shuddered at that.  "Xander got injured during it and now he's healing."

"Why would an injury there not heal here?" Don asked.

"No clue.  That's what he said was going on and why he needed the healer.  I'll trust the guy and his arm's in a sling.  Fortunately his off arm for sword and firing work if there's an emergency."  They all nodded at that.  "He said he'd try to pop in on Cordette tomorrow, Don."

"That's fine.  Anything on the problem this spring?"

"He said the only one they've found has been in the east.  Possibly out of the country."  The girls moaned.  "So that means we might have some things trying to take over the issue or take advantage of it locally."

"That's better than it could be," Don agreed.  "With the weapons they pulled from that one dealer."

"They were going to fight with us," Morgan told him.  He moaned.  "That's what had us worried.  Some demons pulled up weapons for the invasion but not like that."

Xander strolled in.  "As far as we've heard, the problem Jack deals with is going to be joining with some ancient demons."  They all stared.  "In Egypt."

"Thank god it's not LA," Don said, looking up.  He looked at him.  "You good?"

"Hell no."

"Wasn't your sling on the other arm?" Connor asked.  The demon backed away slowly.  "Uh-huh."  Morgan got it down and tied up.  He called Sam - that's what you did when you had demons you didn't know.  "We have something here pretending to be Xander."  He looked.  "Everything but the sling's on the wrong arm and he even knew what the apocalypse is."  He leaned down to take his face off.  "Yup, that's what it looks like.  Silver?  Sure.  Thanks, Sam."  He hung up and called Xander, grabbing a gun to load with silver bullets then fired.  "It's us.  We're checking on you since we had a shape shifter transform into you.  Even knew about the spring apocalypse."  He shot it.  "Sure, thanks, Xander.  Home."  He hung up.  "He's fine.  He doesn't know what the apocalypse is this spring so this one must've been on base."  He texted that to Sam's phone and it was good.

"What do we do with the body?" Don asked.

"Burn Barrel," Morgan said.  She called a demon contact they had.  "It's Morgan.  We have a dead shape changer who tried to be Xander.  Please?"  She smiled.  "Home."  She hung up.   "The guys down at the Burn Barrel will take him for us."  They waited until the demonic bikers got there then handed him over so he could be taken off.  Don walked over to talk to the guys watching the house to see what was wrong.  He had to explain those were slayers, he was their local liaison, and that had been a demon not a human, but that was usual.  LA was a bit paranoid about demons these days.

***

Xander walked back on base.  "Cordette's slayer nose is very sensitive.  After drinking, puking, eating, cleaning up, and brushing my teeth twice she could still tell I had been drinking beer."  John smirked at that, nodding a bit.  "We good?"

"The shape changer here was found.  They're gone and the one they were taking the place of was checked over.  You okay?"

"Better.  It'll heal now instead of getting worse.  The painkillers are starting to work again too.  Apparently to healers there's three bodies and two weren't healed yet.  One can't be healed but they were linked back properly so the one that could be is."  John shuddered.  "So, yeah, it'll go.  I'll handle it once the broken bone heals."

"Good."  He pointed.  "They decided to try to break bad last night."

Xander moaned at the sight of the girls doing yard pick up and shoveling.  "Why?"

"Got Shea in on the panty raiding."

Xander looked at him.  "Aren't most of them dating?"

"They were picking on Jack.  They were going to hand them back this morning at breakfast to embarrass him."

"Ah.  Well, have fun with their punishments."  John laughed.  "I'd have done the same.  You know that."  He shrugged then winced and adjusted his sling.  "I'm off to see House.  Be back in a few."

"Sure."  He watched the kid go.  He looked calmer today.  So maybe it had helped.

Xander walked in.  "According to healers there's three bodies."

"So one was still injured?"

"Two.  One can't be grown back.  The other could be and had to be linked back into my physical arm.  That's why I couldn't feel my fingers.  They fixed it for me and now all I have is the broken bone and that bruising."

House smirked.  "Good to know."  He made notes on that.  "How's the other part?"

"It still bothers me but I think I've rationalized it enough and the memory blocks to push it back from my immediate mind finally worked so I know but I don't *know*."

House nodded, looking up at him.  "I can see how that'd help."

Xander nodded.  "That and a few beers.  Cordette could tell I had been drinking even after puking, eating, cleaning up, doing my teeth, all that."

"That's also good to know."  He made that note too.  He looked at him.  "Anything else?"

"Crissy's having a girl.  Connor said he feels like I used to being surrounded by girls."

"If he starts to wear your ugly shirts, we'll know why," Dawn quipped as she came in to give him a hug.  "Better?"

"Mostly."  She smiled.  "He said you're being a brat?"

"I wasn't on the panty raids last night," she said dryly.  She gave him an extra squeeze then let go. "Go find Daniel.  They know about the apocalypse."

"The shapechanger trying to be me told Connor."  She moaned.  He smirked at House.  "Are you back?"

"Seeing if it happens."

Xander beamed.  "Knew you couldn't stay away from us for too long.  We're too interesting and we do make you unbored."  He strolled off.

"That's true, we can't be bored around here."

Xander leaned into Daniel's office.  "I'm back.  It's down to broken and that bruise.  The shapechanger trying to be me is dead."

"That's good.  The next apocalypse is in Egypt."

"Connor thinks some people may use this to increase their standing in the ranks."

"Could happen," Jack agreed.

"So we're on the lookout for that," Daniel agreed.

"I don't have a passport, Danny.  Do I need one?"

Daniel considered it then nodded.  "Just in case but I don't want you in this battle.  Desert battles have a special set of concerns and maneuvers.  There's demon people in Egypt I'm sure."

"Hashid Morant, he wrote a pretty good book after the invasion."

"I'll look him up," Daniel said, taking down that name.  "We did warn their government.  It looks like Jack's people are going to be helping too."

"What happened during the election?"

"We lost half of those few key seats," Jack admitted.  "So the people who want to move us together are in power, barely."

Xander nodded. "We have to show up for the swearing in ceremonies, just in case."

"Good point," Daniel agreed. "Not you though."

"No, not me.  They told me why I bother them."  He grinned sweetly.  "Anyway," he said dryly.  "I'm off to yell and nag the girls.  Let me know what part I'm playing this time."

"I will.  How is the pain?" Daniel asked.

He came in and shut the door.  "According to healers there's three bodies.  They healed the one physical one.  The other two had been separated off, which is why I had no feeling in my fingers."  They both nodded at that.  "One of them the arm's gone and probably won't regrow. The other was but it's linked back into my physical arm again.  So I'll have some permanent pain I think.  I didn't ask that. Then we'll see after that."

Daniel nodded.  "That makes sense, Xander.  Let me know if it's too bad?"

"Daniel, if it's that bad I won't be able to requalify and I am going to.  Once the break heals."

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear.  I don't want to lose you as an agent."

He smirked.  "We'll see what happens.  I don't want the guys to hear about the pain part and think I'm turning into a younger House."

"They shouldn't," Jack said.

"A few might think that," Daniel admitted quietly.  "I know you're not and if it gets to that point, you will come talk to me.  We'll figure out if it'll affect your work."  Xander nodded at that.  "Good.  Go play in the weak winter sunlight."  He went to do that.  They would see how his arm played out with the pain issue.  Xander had a pretty high pain tolerance.

Jack looked at him.  "We have to finish making plans in case we get switched together."

Daniel shoved his over.  "This is what the president suggested and where I've made changes."  Jack looked it over, making a change in the structure.  "He left?"

"Yeah, last week.  Retired.  Hammond would kill us both, Danny."  He looked at him.  "Making him our AD?"

"I think he'd like to deal with Xander."  He grinned.  "It'll keep him feeling young."

"Uh-huh.  I talked to him the other day and he was laughing his butt off about all this."

"I would be too if it was someone else."  They went back over things.  If it happened they had to be ready to change over seamlessly.  They would not let it harm others.  "The computer systems have to mesh."

"If we hear it's going to happen I'll get my nerds with your nerds."

"McGee and Abby can handle that.  McGee got me a new IT person as well."

"Good.  The labs?"

"We can already link into Area 51 by presidential order."

"We can link in there too.  Are we getting them?"

"Them and NID.  So we can stop the torturing bastards."

Jack smirked.  "Greedy."

"Not hardly.  Have you seen what they were trying to do?"  He handed over the final Initiative report.  Jack read it and shuddered.  "Exactly!  I want them gone.  Their budget can go to us so we have two planes or to Atlantis so they have more food."

"Fine."  He wasn't going to argue about that.  The report got put back and they figured out how to merge the two complex agencies.  Three bases with Area 51 and one out of this galaxy was not an easy task to merge.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Merging.

Daniel looked up as the president's call came up on his teleconferencer.  "Yes, sir?" he asked.

"Daniel, bad news.  They are going to demand you and Jack merge.  They've included it in the last budget bill."

Daniel nodded.  "We thought they might.  Are the new guys going to be pushy?"

"I can't turn this one down, Jackson."

"I figured as much, sir.  Jack and I do have a plan.  What about the other two agencies?"

"I said if it happened, they had to put the other two with you too.  They asked why so I gave them the Initiative file.  They agreed, they should all be together so someone with sense can stop that."

"Which we can do," Daniel agreed.  "Jack agreed that since the SGC is still covert, they'd be under our umbrella.  For them, not much will change except the paperwork issue.  Unless you're going to take the military guys from them?"

"No.  They're staying.  They're needed so they're staying."  That got a nod.   "You two had one of your chats?"

"The one taking over for Jack kicked him out of his office for the weekend last month."

"Good.  So you're set?"

"I need to hire a few IT people first.  Their system won't talk with ours and we have to make sure their classified materials are staying classified.  Some of my people don't have the rating to see that."

"I noticed one has a fairly low rating."

"Taylor.  I don't know why, sir.  I'm looking into it after talking to him.  He said before he was more than happy to have a low rating.  It kept him out of the politics."

"It'd work for me.  There's days I hate it too."  He smirked.  "Less paperwork?"

"He'll have to do the military paperwork on his people but we all know I don't need that much more paperwork.  When it happens, Jack'll be my AD over that area and he'll get to go shut down parts of NID for me.  Then we'll see where we can trim and cut."

"That'll work.  Is he going to take your spot if you retire?"

"I'm not retiring, sir."

"I know that."

"If he wants.  If not he'll tell you himself."

"Good point.  Jack's not one to like paperwork."  Daniel shook his head quickly.  "How is your budget?"

"We will have a small surplus that will be funneled into the lab."

"Good.  What about their budgets?"

"I can promise to trim a lot out of NID's but some of it may be shifted to Atlantis, sir."

"They could probably use a bit more.  Take it that first year and see if you can trim about ten percent."

"I'll try."

"Good."  He smirked.  "Any other traumas I should hear?"

"No, sir, why would there be?"

"The Cleveland FBI office has been watching the slayer's council for a while now."

Daniel nodded.  "They caught one of their people hacking our utilities to have them shut off.  That way we'd move the girls there."

"She's in jail?"

"She's on probation and if she *ever* does another thing she's in jail."

"Good.  Anything else I should hear?"  Daniel gave him an odd look.  "I heard your wonder agent was injured."

"Rosenburg was playing what if with the universe, created a quantum mirror situation, and he got hurt during it, sir.  He's fine.  His arm's a bit broken but he's healing and is working, just at his desk."

"Painkiller issue?"

"No.  Who said he had one?"

"Someone else who saw."

"Once he got the injury fixed, that issue wasn't necessary.  Not an issue, it was needed at that time."

"The first injury carried over..."

"And he's fine now, sir.  He's using the herbal one we use on base.  It's non-addictive and works very well.  We even sent it with McKay."

"Good!"  He smiled.  "That's much better.  We had heard he was using major drugs."

"No.  Not even then, sir.  A mild painkiller at the time but no."

"Even better.  I'll let that be known."  They shared a look.  "Whoever this power player is that's trying to use you guys like chess pieces isn't having fun this week."

"We'd like to have a talk with him anyway, sir.  None of us like being a pawn.  Xander insists he's a knight, not a pawn."

"Good!  I like that attitude.  If I hear, you will."  He smirked.  "Egypt is not happy."

"Not my fault."

"I know.  They need to consult with someone."

"We have a few people.  I can send Wesley over since he's over patrols.  He's also a former research watcher so once he knows which demons would be bringing their armies up, he can get the proper research done and help them.  Plus see which girls need to go handle it."

"Even better.  Their plans for international houses are well liked."

Daniel smiled.  "We know it happens other places.  We simply had to get the trained staff to deal with it.  They're also recruiting a few of the agents to go to some of the houses if they wanted to retire from here."

"Excellent news."  He shifted in his chair.  "Other than that, are you doing all right out there?"

"We're doing pretty good.  House and Chase are both back until they can find us competent help that won't go off the deep end this time.  The last ones decided the girls were holy warrior women ordained by God who had no physical needs."

"Oh, dear."

"The pregnant one from LA made one snap and he tried to hurt her so they're in jail."

"Even better.  Any luck?"

"He has a set in mind but they're training to do the same job for LA.  There's a good need there and they're taking in residents now to train while they learn.  They're looking and they have a few others on their list."

"Even better.  Any idea if we'll have a problem this spring?"

"As far as we can tell, some others here might take advantage of that problem to raise up the hierarchy of power. We've alerted all the cities that have their own office.  LA is setting up theirs so we've leant them someone to set the ground rules.  Horatio is doing very well with that."

"You always give me happy news, even when it's bad."  He smiled.  "I'll let you get back to your lack of paperwork."

"Yes, sir.  When do they have their timeline of us changing over?"

"As soon as inhumanly possible is how it's written."

"By next Christmas all the kinks should be out."

"Excellent!"  He smiled.  "It'll get me some political points as well."  He hung up.

Daniel called Jack, getting his assistant.  "Jack in?"

"Meeting with SG-1, Doctor Jackson.  Is it important?"

"Yes.  Tell him to call me while he has Sheppard in on the conference.  By tonight."  That got a nod so Daniel hung up.   He went back to his crossword puzzle.  They didn't need his help in the library today and he was waiting on reports.  It kept his mind sharp too.  Jack called back an hour later and he waved, putting down the puzzle.  "The current congress put it into a budget bill the president cannot veto," he said.

"Shit," Jack muttered.

John Sheppard raised a hand.  "What are we talking about?"

"They've decided all of you guys, NID, and Area 51 are now mine," Daniel said with an evil smirk.

"Okay," he said, shuddering a bit.  "Any other cheery news that should make me shoot myself?"

"We're shutting down the bad projects in NID.  That means you guys might get a boost in your budget," Daniel offered.

"That's better news."

"This will cut down on some of the oversight paperwork."

"Even better," John agreed.

"This year's apocalypse is in Egypt so we'll have to work together anyway," Jack told him.

"Need some of us back?"

"We will need the ship so you'll have to plan supply runs to go without it for a while," Jack ordered.

"I can do that."  Sam leaned into view.  "We're getting switched under DCIS's banner."

"As far as we're concerned, DCIS is absorbing the other, quote, strange agencies.  Since so much is classified that'll protect those other projects.  That means we need computer specs from your systems, Sheppard.  They'll have to talk to ours."

"Agreed.  I'll tell Rodney that so he can tell Abby."

"She's on the board to make sure that works.  We're hiring another IT person too.  By next christmas, Jack.  Fully integrated."

"We should be able to make sure it works."

"You may still have some military oversight since you're keeping all the military staff, but I'm guessing they'll be like outsourcing.  I don't know how they're going to work that.  As long as it works on our end they can tangle theirs until we're bothered."  They all smiled at that.  "So, starting say, March, Sam and John?"

"We're fully integrated with the SGC, Daniel," Sam offered.

"Good.  Area 51 isn't."

"No," she agreed.  "About a third is."

"So we'll start there and make sure the SGC works with ours.  Then move to the remaining people at the other two places."

"Which they mostly do," Jack agreed.  "There's very few conflicts and mostly Abby's fixed those."  He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.  "That means I'm taking over as your assistant director over us?"

"Yes.  You're over the covert areas of DCIS.  That means you get to go talk to the NID people and shut down what should not be going on."

"I hate scientists, Danny."

"I know that, Jack, but some are going really wrong.  Whatever you think isn't ethical or necessary, you tell me and it'll be shut.  Anything you find that's doing things like the Initiative, you shut immediately and arrest.  I'll lend you a team of my people for that.  Taylor, Caine, and DiNozzo?"

"That'll work," he agreed.  "Those three understand geeks better than I do.  DiNozzo has been your heir for so long they all know and respect him.  The other two are split so they'll know what's wrong in a lab."  That got a nod.  "What about Area 51 and Kinsey?"

"Kinsey lost his seat," Daniel said happily.  "We do have one power player trying to nudge the agency in the direction he wants.  Like this move.  We're working on stopping him."  They all nodded.  "Good.  That means I'll need a complete list of what you guys are screwing around with and any projects you need or want to start, Sam."

"We can do that easily.  Are your guys going to be bothered by our military people?"

"Some of my people are former military.  I'm going to mostly keep them apart due to the nature of you guys' jobs.  DCIS is one agency and still an umbrella.  Like Homeland turned into for the smaller agencies.  Jack's over the SGC and all that stuff."

"Good," she decided.  "Thank you for warning us, Daniel."

"We sat down and figured out how it'd work out best, Sam.  It shouldn't be too hard to deal with.  Probably not a whole lot of problems outside any computer issues."

"Even better.  We're good, sir, and we'll send you an outline for how to do the shipments.  When is it?"

"Late April," Jack said.  "It's the first week of December down here, Captain."

"Yes, sir."  She hung up and they called a base-wide meeting.  She went to look at them.  "Some news from earth, people."  They all stared.

"Two issues," John said.  "First, their next apocalypse is going to include gou'ald so the ship isn't going to be running on time.  They think this will happen around late April so we need to make plans now how to bridge any gap we may have."  That got some nods.  "The second is that the budget committee has decided we're too cute to be under the Pentagon anymore."  They all stared.

"We're not being shut down.  They decided anything, quote strange, unquote, is going to be moved under the DCIS umbrella," Sam said.  "Us, SGC, NID, and Area 51."  McKay spluttered.  "They're working it out.  We're going to be in the same sort of hidden pocket we are in the Pentagon, guys.  For us nothing should change and Daniel Jackson is working hard with Jack O'Neill to make sure of it."  They smiled at that.  "McKay, Jackson needs computer specs to make sure our systems talk but can still hold the classified materials classified as well as a list of all ongoing projects and what we plan on starting in the lab.  Daniel said he's shutting down part of the NID for unethical behavior.  That's O'Neill's first job.  That and our former coworkers at Area 51.  Abby is on the consolidation committee."

"I've worked with all but the NID systems.  I can make some suggestions."

"Good.  I know it's a burden for you but if we have to have someone overseeing any updates, you're it since you know.  Or we'll get Abby up for a few weeks to do that."

"Agreed," he said.  "Food shipments and the like?"

"We can plan around that gap," Sheppard said, looking at the people in charge of that.  "Start stockpiling now because room on the ship is tight.  We might have to move some equipment back, I'm not sure yet.  Give us outlines by the end of the week, people.  Jackson has assured us he wants this to go smoothly.  That's why he and O'Neill have already started on the plans thanks to the rumors."

"For us nothing should change," Sam assured them.  "If it does, Daniel's going to eat someone."  They smiled at that.  "Get that to us, make sure the others who didn't make the meeting know.  Let us know what we need to as soon as you know."  They nodded, going to do that.  "McKay."  He hung up.  "Abby has been working on the power issue.  You might ask her if she has anything?"

"I can do that."  He went to write her, see what they were thinking about the computer systems.  It was in two steps, which were practical, and she was outlining where everything would have conflicts.  He put in their conflicts and she said she'd add it to the list for them.  He also added in the conflicts he remembered from Area 51 and the SGC.  She told him they had just upgraded to a system that was more compatible so that made him happy.  Someone had been hearing rumors for a while now.  Well, they'd just have to deal with it it seemed.  She sent up a bit of a personal message as well, making him shudder.  "Some of the girls are getting ready for their proms."

"Prom?" Radek Zalenka asked.

"A formal dance in your senior year.  Dreadfully boring but girls tend to put a lot of weight into it.  They see it as a leadup to designing their wedding or some such."  He waved a hand.  "Abby's dealing with that as well as this.  It appears we won't have many computer conflicts."  He pointed at one.  "It's useful but we might have to get an upgraded one that will talk better to our computers."  They didn't like that machine anyway, it refused to integrate into the computer systems.

"We'll all do dances of joy," Radek said dryly.  Rodney smirked at him.  "We will be."

"We will.  Get on the list for what we'll need for a possible four month gap.  Just in case the ship blows up."  That got a nod and he went to do that.  Rodney went back to figuring out what they'd need to merge.  That was a project fit to give everyone a headache.  Not like someone like Dawn could cast a spell....  No, that was a horrible idea!

***

Daniel had made sure the girls told every agent they had to be at dinner.  "Guys, before food, there's an announcement."  He looked around.  "Tony, House, and John?"

"John's meeting the girls coming in off the retrieval team," Xander told him.

"House was on a phone call," one of the nurses said.

"Tony's out of town on a case," Abby said, sipping her caf-pow.  "What's up, boss?"

"As part of a budget bill that the president cannot veto there was an amendment stuck on to consolidate the agencies that deal with strange things."  They all stared.  "Us, Jack's project, Area 51, NID."  He looked around.  "They will be coming in under us, not the other way around."  That got some smirks.  That would mean not a lot of changing for them.  House walked in.  "House..."

"I heard from the hall."  He sat down.  "What does this mean for us?"

"This means we'll have a larger pool of resources to work with.  You may be able to mine Jack's infirmary for suitable docs; I'll have to check on that."  That got a nod and a smirk.  "They are used to dealing with strange things and normal people who complain."  He looked at Abby.  "That means you'll have researchers who will be answering to you beyond your current staff.  You're head over R&D and the labs.  That would include them."  She grimaced.  "You can pick someone to give you summaries of projects but I can tell you there's going to be a few open spots over there and if you need some people I may be able to transfer some over to you."

"That might help now and then but there's still days they'd be bored, Danny."

"They can work on any good project, the same as you guys can, Abby."  She smiled at that.  He looked at the agents.  "For you guys, not much will change.  Jack's people will be like a hidden pocket inside the agency.  Jack's going to be over all his people so we'll only have to worry about them when things happen."  That got some nods.  "For you guys, you're still DCIS and you're still here to solve cases.  I will make the hierarchy clear in case you trip over Area 51 again during a case."  That got a nod.  He looked at the girls.  "For you ladies, nothing much should change.  It might mean some more agents on base."

Xander coughed.  "I'm sure they're going to act mostly like responsible young woman," he said, looking at his girls, who all nodded.  "This does mean we'll need the new housing set up almost immediately."

"We're going to be merged fully by next Christmas.  Jack will need an apartment before then.  I figure I can stick him in one of the ones in the new building since it's due to be finished in February.  Before then, Jack, Horatio, Mac, and Tony will be going out to the NID and Area 51 projects to check for ethical guidelines, faulty lab practices, and to arrest anyone that's doing something totally wrong or Initiative like."

"I'd be happy to," Horatio assured him.  "Is our power structure going to change?"

"For military things and the SGC things, the chain of command is me, Jack, his replacement or Major Sheppard - depending on which project it is, Tony, Xander.  For cases or lab issues it is me, Tony, Xander unless I get an AD for that part of the job."  They all nodded.  "Xander, do listen to the military guys if it's something they need to handle?"

"Can I beat the new guy if he's an idiot?  I trust Jack to know what's going on.  John Sheppard too."

"The new guy is decent.  He will know about gifts."

"He'll respect them if I have another just in case feeling?"

"He will.  Jack's already told him and shown how it works for them with the last one you called in."  Xander nodded at that.  "So you can let him handle it.  If it's something he's missing or something that you feel you *have* to handle, you argue with him about it and don't do more than handcuff him in a closet."

"I'd never take out a base's primary line of defense unless we were taking the base down," Xander assured him.

"Good.  That's what I wanted to hear.  Tony will be getting the same speech."  He got a grin for that.  "Since we're going to be building, are the girls going to need anything?"

"With so many leaving for foreign postings within a year we're a bit cramped but we can deal with it.  For the new ones coming in today we're going to fix up one or two of the classrooms not in use for shared rooms."

"Why don't we move all the classrooms into the main building?" Daniel suggested.  "That'll give you eight areas and that storage area.  Build walls."

"They can be used for temporary housing later," Gibbs agreed. "Like another count situation."

Xander nodded.  "We can do that.  It's not that hard."  They all nodded.  "We already cleared two.  Where did you want to hold demonology and ASL lessons?  They're the last in the building."

"There's a good size room off the library," Thomas told him.  "Use that.  That way all the resources are at hand."

Xander smiled.  "We can do that.  It's bigger than the present room.  Sam?  That good for you?"

"It's fine with me, Xander.  We've been running the other language lessons in there anyway."  Daniel nodded at that.  "We can finish clearing those out tonight with some help."  That got a few nods from the girls.   "Six classrooms so nine new bedrooms?  A few are tiny rooms."

"That'll work for me," Xander agreed.  "We'll talk with John when he's done with the new ones.  Ladies, that reminds me, the new girls coming in tonight have been with a commando team for the last little while finding the missing girls.   They have been in war zones, other countries, and in some situations that may make them have strong reflex actions."  The girl from Iraq nodded at that.  "They'll react like she does," Xander agreed. "As the one that's going back to LA found out."

"We won't pounce," Anna assured him.

"Thank you.  Because they've been out so long they get first pick of the new foreign postings going out.  Then the girls who're patrol qualified get to pick, Morgan, Crissy, and those in Cleveland first."  They all nodded.  "So if you think you want to, talk to Wes when he gets back."

"From time to time we may be adding an agent over to the houses to help them with a case or to liaison with the locals there," Daniel agreed.  "If you're interested in that, let me know when it comes up."  The agents all nodded.  "I do know that the new quarters are
probably going to need to be added onto.  We're looking at plans for another one to be put up after this one is done.  Hopefully to be done by next Christmas."

"We might need a bigger lab," Abby warned.

"I can't stand some of the people at Area 51, Abby.  Most of them are staying on their own base."  She smiled at that, nodding a bit.  "The new building has thirty new single apartments.  Those'll be half filled by those in the married quarters presently."

"Am I moving?" Xander asked.

"No.  Your floor is staying.  I reserve the right to use your spare bedroom but you're staying.  Sam and Dean need the room.  Tony's movie collection takes up half his apartment."  That got a smile.  "Good.  The next building would have more than two bedroom apartments.  That way we can get people with families in.  We have another six buildings we can fix up.  We'll start with them."  He looked around the agents.  "So if one of you marries someone with kids, you can choose to live on base or you can live in town.  Does that seem fair?"  They all nodded at that.  "Good.  I do know our computer systems may need to be upgraded."

Abby shook her head.  "I chose what we have based on the theory that we'll be growing. As long as we have enough space physically all we'll need is new servers for extra storage space."

"Excellent, Abby.  Payroll too?"

"I got asked my opinion as a hacker on that.  I picked that one because we can add up to a half million more names, it's easy to update but only for people cleared to, and it's harder than heck to hack.  We'll be fine."

He smiled.  "Better and better."

"Did I get a raise?"

"Yes, because I'm overworking you by putting you on the consolidation project to make sure our systems talk to their systems."

"Most of the lab computer will.  There's only a few companies that make them and it makes more financial sense to have computers to talk to the others.  Otherwise you end up in a Microsoft situation and smaller companies get pushed out.  There's only a few things that won't talk to each other or varied computer systems."  She took another drink of her caf-pow.  "I've already gotten some from McKay and theirs will mostly work with us.  They could use a software update."

"Good.  Let me know by say the last day in January what you need to make the systems work well together.  As few conflicts as possible."

"Yes, Danny."

"Thank you.  Mac, Horatio, I need to know what you need to go out with Jack to look at the labs and projects by the holidays."  They nodded at that.  "I'm also looking at your clearance level again, Mac.  It's ridiculously low.  We're going to up you so you don't have to listen to 'you don't have the clearance to know that, young man' from some of the NID guys trying to stall you."

"That'll work for me," Mac agreed.

Daniel smiled.  "All right, on the consolidation committee are Abby, Tony, myself, Jack, and Sam?"  Sam shrugged but nodded.  "I'd ask you, Xander, but you already do a lot."  All the girls stared at him.

"Has it escaped your notice that I still do all the admin stuff outside of Cleveland's?" he asked dryly.  They mostly nodded.  "That's why I have an office in my second bedroom."  They groaned.  "Is that my only part to play, helping with the fixing up of the other buildings?"

Daniel nodded.  "Yes.  Your ideas have been pretty workable so far."  He grinned.  Xander grinned back.  "Arm doing better?  The president wanted to know."

"It's fine.  I'm only taking the painkillers at night in case I roll over on it."

"Even better."  He looked at House.  "I'll ask someone tomorrow to see if we can poach from the SGC infirmary."

"Thank you.  Are we going to hold a conference with them to go over what we know medically?"

"If you want.  With the new guys in LA that could help them too.  If you want to arrange and host a conference, go for it, House."

He grimaced.  "That doesn't sound like fun.  Maybe I'll make Sheppard arrange it for me as part of her vocational rehabilitation since she's back on the good drugs."

Gibbs spluttered.  "She is?"

"She is.  She's accepted demons and that she was doing wrong but she requested them."

"That's fine then."  He looked at Daniel.  "Sharing resources can run into snags."

"As far as I'm concerned, the Pentagon can hand over that section to us and let us handle it.  Jack can handle the paperwork back to them and the budget will be used fairly."  That got a nod.  "Jack can hire whoever he wants to help him on that end."  That got a nod.  "Horatio, Mac, the president has asked if we could trim about ten percent off the NID budget if possible.  It'll look better and keep us out of trouble next year with the paper pushers over the budget.  It'll let them think they did a good thing for the US."

"It probably won't be that hard," Mac agreed.  "If there's any that have to be fired or arrested that should cover it."

"That's what I was thinking," Danny agreed.  "Maybe merging them with Area 51 as well.  I know there's some very nasty sorts in there.  The sort to stake you in the middle of the night so they have a body to work on.  We've run into them before.  Do be careful."

"We will be," Horatio agreed.

"Good."  He looked around.  "Any other concerns?"  No one said anything. "Then let's eat, people."  They settled in to eat and talk about the new things coming in. It could lead to a lot of work for Abby but it would also get her a lot of helpers to choose from.  She could use a few new ones in the labs.  Plus McKay could pick a few that weren't stupid beings he'd have to rant at as often as he does his present ones.

***

John smiled at the three girls driving up to the gate.  "Ladies."  They stopped and looked at him.  "John Winchester.  Dorm parent for the Slayers."  He smiled.  "Also over some of the earlier training."  They smiled at that.  "Everyone else is at dinner and we're rearranging a few rooms for you girls.  We have a few bigger rooms you can split tonight and possibly tomorrow until we can make them regular rooms."

"That's fine with us," the one in the front passenger's seat of the jeep said.  "Anything we should know tonight?"

"I'm here to guide you there, to dinner, introduce you to the girls and the others we have around."  They smiled at that.  "Sign in with the gate, go to the small two-story building and don't hit the bike, Impala, or the truck."

The one driving smirked.  "We heard stories of slayers driving in Cleveland.  They're a bit cramped."

"Some of them are going on foreign assignment within the next year.  That'll be solved.  Plus Giles is supposed to be finding a new permanent home for the Council."  They all snorted at that.  "We know, trust me.  Go ahead and sign in."  He headed for the building.  They signed in and drove over.  "Welcome to DCIS.  I know you three won't be panty raiding like the younger girls sometimes do.  I do issue KP, PT, and reasonable punishments for getting out of line."

"Agreed," the one said.  They grabbed their bags and followed John inside.  "Former classrooms?" she guessed.

John nodded.  "They are.  We'll be renovating and getting you beds and dressers soon."  They all smiled at that.  "It'll take about two days for it to be delivered."  He waved.  "There's three empty rooms.  Pick one or two.  Or three if you want.  Showers and washer are upstairs."  They dropped their bags in one room and followed him up.  "Most of the girls get their own room.  Only one set share and they're twins."  He opened the shower.  "First thing in the morning it's a madhouse thanks to pre-class rushing.  Most of the girls here are in school."  That got  some nods.  He showed them the washer then the linen closet.  "Okay?"  They nodded.  "Good."  He walked them down the stairs, smiling at Binky, who was waiting impatiently to be introduced.  "This is Binky, she's one of two on base.  We also have Digger.  He's a traditional one."

"Aww, aren't you adorable," one of the girls cooed, petting her.  She preened and followed them to the dining hall.  "She eats with us?"

"Now and then she sneaks in," Dean said from his seat.  "Binky!"  The cook rushed out to give her a plate of spinach leaves.  "Fine.  Ladies, I'm Dean and this is Sam Winchester.  That's Xander.  Wesley's on his way back from vacation."

Xander waved since his mouth was full.  "Good work, ladies.  We'll work on the rooms tomorrow."  They nodded at that.  "Need anything immediate, like medical, clothes, that stuff?"

"No, sir," one said.  She hugged Xander.  "It was an amazing experience, thank you for picking me."

"You're welcome.  Sit down and eat, ladies.  We all pig out because our cook is great and wondrous in the kitchen." They smiled and sat down to eat.  He looked at John.  "We're switching the other classrooms to the room by the library so we can change all those over."

"We'll order more beds tomorrow.  They can be used for temporary housing for things like visiting agents."  Xander nodded at that.  "We'll go over that tonight."

"Sure.  Also, big news, they did move Jack's people under us.  They'll be a pocket of us."

"That's going to cause hell on the military mind."

"Possibly," Xander said with a wicked smirk.  John smirked back.  "We'll handle it.  I'm only on the construction committee."

"Good.  You do too much."  He looked down the table.  "You can ask them questions, girls.  They're slayers like you are."

"Any foreign hotties?" one of the younger teenagers asked.  The older girls all choked.

"Girls," Sam complained.

"I'm at the age to ask those questions," she defended.  "I might want to go to a foreign house."

"Not if you can't control that lust," Dean told her.

Faith looked at him.  "Half of us bring out our slayer needs in the bedroom, Dean.  The other half do a lot more hunting and training."

Xander nodded.  "Buffy hardly ever trains when she's dating.  She claims she's too tired."  He checked his watch then looked at her.  "Did you send a card?"

"Yesterday."

"Me too," Dawn agreed.

"I'll send mine tonight."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "You can answer her or not, your choice," he told them.  "Not like she didn't turn purple when she tried to panty raid House."  He looked over at the boss.  "Hey, boss, can I find someone for the armory?"

"SWAT out of LA county suggested two names.  Both of them shuddered in horror at the thought of demons knowing how to use a gun.  I contacted the heads of Miami's, New York's, and the FBI's rapid response teams.  They checked their contact list for us and came up empty too for the same reason, Xander."

Xander grimaced.  "Then I've got someone but you'll hate it."

"Is he or she going to eat people?" Daniel asked.

"No but you're going to think he's strange.  He's a gun petting, loving, shoot at what moves when it pops up sort.  He coos at the artillery like it's his baby."

"How did you meet him?" Sam asked.

"He was tracking one of my sources."  Mac choked.  "Ah, I see you remember him."

"Oh, God, no," Mac moaned.

Xander looked at him.  "He could do it, he's retired now.  Fifteen years on his force before his knees gave out.  His sons are going to the academy he went to."

"He'll drive us nuts, Xander."

Xander shrugged.  "We need someone in the armory and he needs something to do."

"I want to interview him, Xander," Daniel ordered.

"You can come help me recruit, boss."  He beamed.  "Do you good to get off base again."

"We can do that this weekend."  Xander nodded, going back to eating.  He shook his head quickly.  If Xander said he was strange....  That's not a good mental picture he decided.  "Ladies, where did your team travel to?"

"We hit Zimbabwe first.  She was in some danger and we got her out of it.  Unfortunately her village needed a protector so our team agreed to give her what training we could in the slayer skills.  We left her our contact information in case she had bigger problems or we needed to know something.  We told the local shaman how to make notes about what happens to her. We also showed her the information on when she'll age out and how to tell a new slayer.  She'll be fine and we made sure the village had some protections.  The next one was Sudan, then Iraq."  She smiled at that girl.  "Are you settling in all right?"

"I'm doing okay.  My ankle still aches now and then.  The school is strange.  Some of them have never met a Muslim woman.  I had to fix some misconceptions fairly fast.  The one who called me a terrorist got me suspended for a day but he got worse."  Xander nodded at that.  "Including Xander in his face."  The other girls laughed at that.  "It's been good for me.  I'm learning a lot and figured out what I want to go to college for."  They all smiled at that.  "Will I have to take a year off?" she asked Xander.

He shrugged.  "Ask Wes.  Patrols are his area.  I only nag about some things."

"I can do that."  She reloaded his plate, earning a sigh but he ate.  "You need food to heal, Xander."  She smiled.  "Where did you go after me?"

"The one in Germany.  She was having some...social issues.  Pity about her big brother but we explained to the cops why he managed to fly nearly a block when she hit him," the former driver said dryly.  John snickered at that.  "Indeed.  The cops were most ecstatic they had a slayer there.  They had done some research after the invasion.  It seems they have a problem near there."

"The nearby Russians have also come to her to see if she'll help them with major issues," Daniel said.  "The president talked to someone who told him.  He said he liked the upcoming plans."

They all beamed at that.  It had been their team's suggestions of where to put the new houses.  "The girl in Rome could use a backup."

"I so want that one," Kennedy moaned.  They looked at her.  "I mean if you don't.  I know it's the holy city.  It's got some great history though.  I'd love to be in Rome."

They smiled.

"We've pretty well picked our areas and the girl there is quite the little homemaker," Mercy told her.  "She's very uptight.  She's got a cardinal looking over her shoulder.  The church wants to run that house very badly and we've told them we don't care who does what, but we're not playing politics and slayers are our own organization.  We're multi- religious and we do deal in magic now and then.  He stomped off.  Aren't you with Willow?"

"Was."

"That may not go well there, Kennedy," John agreed.  "Italy is very uptight in some ways.  Especially about gay rights."

"The Vienna house will not be," Mercy told her.  She pushed back her black hair.  "Two of us are going there, one of us is going to England."  Xander gave her an odd look.  "She'll be aging out in ten months, Xander."

"I want to start Oxford," she said calmly.

He nodded.  "I'll see what we can work out," he decided.  "I know they still have a good collection of the books over there.  Wesley's getting the collection back for the summer and part of the fall so we can put it onto the system too."  Daniel beamed at that.  The girl did too.  "So that may be workable.  Did you want to be a watcher later on?"

She considered it.  "I might want to be a research watcher but I'm a history buff."

"Then we'll see," he agreed with a smile.  She got up to give him a hug.  "Go back to eating.  The other two of you want Vienna?"

"I'd love the Asian house but Cho and I don't get along," Mercy told him.  That got a nod of understanding.  "She's younger than me so we'll have to see."  She looked at the girls.  "That leaves five spots open in Vienna, Rome, and the Asian house, wherever it ends up.  Cleveland gets first pick, then LA's girls, then you guys.  So think about it."

"I'd rather they have a year of hunting experience before they go over anyway," John told her.  "That way we know they can handle it if a situation starts and they can do it with and without backup."  The other adults nodded at that.  Sam cleared his throat.  "Are you sick again?"

"Yes.  The sniffles came back."  He looked down the table.  "We're working to get you girls a full inventory of books for each new house.  As many as we can then we'll send out new copies."  They all nodded at that.  "Are Morgan and Crissy going to want to stay in LA, Xander?"

"Probably.  Morgan seems pretty serious about Connor.  Crissy likes LA and the family out there.   Her I can see going either FBI or as a future watcher.  Especially with little Eggbertina in there.  By the way, if you did not hear, she's having a girl."  The other girls squealed at that.  He looked at Sam, Dean, and John.  "Connor came over when I was in my room and said he knew what I used to feel like being surrounded by girls all the time.  He was even wearing his version of an ugly shirt."  They all laughed at that.  "Ladies, eat."  They went back to eating.  "Then we'll work on clearing the old classrooms and tomorrow we can work on walls."  They groaned but nodded.  "Much easier than the barn."  Binky neighed at him.  "Yes, your barn."  She nuzzled him then went back to eating.  George came wobbling in.  "Hey, George.  Problems?"  He went to Abby, nuzzling her.  "Ah, hungry shrub."

The three new girls looked over then at each other.  "And we thought the tree demon was strange," one said.  Mary came closer to ask questions about that.  The others loosened up and gabbed with them.  Dinner was long over with before the girls got to go back to their rooms.  They took night showers then bunked down in their sleeping bags for the night.

Xander leaned in.  "We'll have beds in two days, girls.  Sorry."

"It happens and we've had worse than an old classroom.  Fire ants come to mind," Mercy said dryly, glaring at the girl in the back.

Xander laughed.  "I remember those nights.  John lives upstairs on the end of the hall if you need anything.  Anna and Faith like to prank so fair warning.  Dean, Sam, and I live in the right tower on the third floor."  They nodded.  "See you guys at breakfast."  He closed the door and left them to sleep.  It was early but they had been traveling and answering questions.

***

John stopped doing his morning pushups when he heard a footstep, looking back at the girls.  "Morning PT?" he asked with a smile.

"Every day, like the guys said," Mercy agreed, getting down to do them with him.  The others joined in.  "Is there a jogging trail?"

John grunted then paused at the top of his next one.  "Take the road, the interior of the fence, or the back paths.  Any of those are good and the two roads are in good shape."  They nodded.  "The snow is pretty deep in places around the fence so take a cellphone in case.  Did we give you our numbers?"

"We can get them after this," Gwen said.

Mercy nodded.  "I have Xander and Wes's."

"Xander will get up in about an hour."  He finished his pushups and went to his morning situps.  The girls finished theirs and went for a run.  "Be warm," he called after them.  They smiled and waved.  He finishing his routine and stood up to stretch.  The girls had introduced him to some isometric stretches that helped his old bones quit aching so much.  He popped and crackled but that was normal.  He sighed in pleasure when the last pop happened.  "Better."  He got a text from the gate so he went that way.  "What's up, Bobby?"

"John, this agent said he was called by Doctor Jackson but he's not on our list."

"For what?" he asked.

"Are you an agent?" he asked.

"Slayer's Council.  I'm up, that's why he called me.  What field of expertise?"

"Driving lessons."

"Oh, yeah!"  He smirked and nodded.  "He did say he asked to borrow someone to teach all the girls.  How young do you think you can teach down to?"

"How many have their licenses?"

"None," John said honestly.  "No, wait, Mercy and Shea have theirs.  There's fifty-six slayers who could use it.  One's much too young and her big brother's FBI.  The other's not ever going to be able to.  She's scatterbrained.  I tried.  I needed liquor."

The agent nodded.  "I can understand why.  I subbed in for a high school instructor once."

John nodded.  "Basically.  Come on, I'll show you the course we have set up.  Bob, we have the three returned girls out for a jog."  He nodded at that.  John climbed into the car and he showed him where the course they had set up was.  "It's not much but slayers either pay more attention to the sidewalk so they can hit the demons or they're aggressive and like to hit the other cars they think might be carrying demons.  Daniel said we can use the agency's old clunker sedans.  There's two good ones, one has a ping that drives me nuts but fixing it will take more than the car's worth to junk so he decided to leave it alone.  We can arrange for any and all of the girls to show back up whenever you're ready for them."

The other agent looked at him.  "How old is the youngest?"

"She's in LA and she's eight and a half.  The youngest here just turned ten.  My boys knew enough to get the car out of danger by then."

"That's not a bad idea in that field.   Anything else we do have?"

"We have a bunch of girls going to Europe in the next year.  Some to Asia as well.  I have one girl that rides a motorcycle.  We have three just back from the retrieval team last night and one of them has a jeep."

"I can work with that," he decided.  "Is Jackson up yet?"

John checked his watch.  "It's six-thirty, no."  He checked the building.  "There's lights on but that probably means he fell asleep on a book."  He looked at him.  "He's a linguist."

"Academics can be like that.  Where can I bunk down?"

"We have a spare apartment," he offered.  "Head back toward the towers."  He did that and parked in a free space, John taking him inside to get up the housing manager.  She got him the apartment and linens then let him have at it.  "The blue one pings," he warned as he walked off.  "Breakfast starts at seven.  The younger girls have school today but tomorrow is a free day for them.  The teachers are taking mandatory 'training' time to give themselves a three day weekend while they update on local policies."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "Let me know and I can get the older girls back from Cleveland."

"Let's start with them and the older ones you have here."  John nodded, going to make that call and wake Dawn up too.  She could get them there faster and it was nearly time for her to get up anyway.  He went to check his apartment over, smiling at the amenities.  If it wasn't DCIS he might transfer in.  He came down to join them at breakfast, finding Jackson mumbling into his coffee.  "Director Jackson, you asked to borrow me?"

Daniel looked at him.  "Teach the girls and the agents up to and including defensive driving?"

"You'll need a better course."

"However you want.  Thank you for not waking me up."

"No academic gets up at dawn, Doctor Jackson.  Not unless they've been up all night."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "I'll start work with the older girls today, do the agents tonight."

"You're a stronger man than I am," Tony said as he came over to sit in his usual spot.  "The liquor store is past the mall and off to the right."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He sat down.  "Do you have defensive driving?"

"I passed the class two years before I transferred to DCIS.  Gibbs said so.  Just the basic, every agent should have it one."

"That's good enough usually.  The more advanced is for bodyguards and those sort of details."  That got a smirk and a nod from Tony.  "I need a list of who I'm teaching."

"Of course.  Guys?" he called.  "Whoever has not at least passed basic defensive driving, this is the teacher here to teach the girls and you up to that level."  The girls squealed.  "The girls first since they'll take longer.  That way he can calm himself down with people who already know what a turn signal is."  They smiled and nodded. "Arrange your schedule for it."  They went back to eating.  He grinned.  "We're informal.  If we have to write a memo, Xander's having to do something and he's in charge."

"Hey!" Xander complained.  "I don't write memos.  I yell in person."

"He does," Ryan agreed.  Speed nodded since his mouth was full.

They got done and went to help set up the courses for the girls.  The ones from Cleveland showed up and they were taught too.  By that night the instructor was really tired, shaky, and needed a drink.  Some of those girls were bad but some of the agents were nearly as bad.  Messer had some bad New Yorker habits.  So did Caine.  He sat down on his couch to get a bit drunk.  He'd have to teach the younger, squealier ones tomorrow.  Joy.

***

Dawn sat down next to Xander, cuddling him.  "If we pass our licenses, can we get a slayer mobile?"

He looked at her then at John, who shrugged.  He considered it.  "We might buy the old sedans off DCIS," he decided.  "If some of you pass."  She squealed and hugged him then went to tell the girls who had sent her.  "How much work do they need?"

"One's all but trash, Xander.  The others are okay."  Xander smirked.  "I can use it to teach Brenda."  Xander nodded.  "Will he let you?"

"Maybe.  If not, maybe we can find another slightly used car in town or somewhere."

Abby came rushing in.  "Xander, I found a real parent."

"Yours?"

"No!"  She swatted him.  "Amber's mom.  One finally hit and they contacted me to see why she was in the system so I told her she was a slayer who had been taken by her former watcher.  They said her mom's in the hospital on bad charges but we'll see."

"Does it match?" Xander asked.  She beamed and nodded.  "AMBER!" he yelled.  She came running down the stairs.  "Abby found you a relative."

"Excuse me?" she asked Abby.

"Remember when we did the blood tests?"  She nodded.  "Well, your mom just popped up a positive match after they arrested her for assaulting her boyfriend because he was being a dick.  The officer I talked to said he was being a dick and she took a frying pan to his head.  So you have a mom."

"Did you ask them to talk to her?"

"No, that's your choice," she said, giving her a hug.  She beamed.  "She's in Pennsylvania."

"Wow.  I...."  She blinked a few times.  "I have no idea what I want to do, Abby."

Xander looked at her.  "Think about it tonight, Amber.  Talk to Kim about it."  She nodded, going to do that.  He smiled at Abby.  "Great work."  She beamed back and bounced out to make notes.  Amber came back pouting.  "What did she say?"

"That I should at least find out."

Xander sighed.  "Meeting with her would be like meeting with a stranger, Amber.  If you like her, it's great and you can start a relationship.  If not, you never have to see her again.  It'll be emotional and might hurt some but it's better to know than to not know."

"I know."  She snuggled against his arm.  "I'm scared."

"It's a good reason to be scared," John assured her.  She smiled slightly at that.  "Did Kim kick you out?"

"She's cleaning.  Again.  Are we sure she's not OCD?"

"No, she's not," Xander told her.   "Some people are neat freaks without being OCD.  Go distract her and yourself."  Amber gave him a lecherous grin and went to do that.  They all heard Kim yelp but the other girls knew not to go save her.

Gwen came out of her room.  "Is she okay?"

"Kim and Amber are together.  Amber went to make Kim quit cleaning things," John said.

"If we need to, we can drop her off on our way to see the guy I want to recruit," Xander said.  He went back to reading.  "What're you guys going to do about the jeep?"

"It's Mercy's.  She said it's going even if she does have to bribe Dawn."  John snickered.  "She'd have to."

"Probably," he agreed.  He smirked.  "Bed okay?"

"The bed's great, John.  Thank you for the soft bed."  She punched him on the arm.  "Xander, do the girls not do PT?"

"Every day after school," he told her.  She beamed at that.  "Before dinner.  Saturday is self-defense for those who have passed out of Dean and most of the agents.  Sunday is sword work."

"Killer, thanks, Xander."  They had put up some simple walls for their privacy.  Now they each had their own room that had furniture.  She loved her bed.  It was soft, smelled good, and wasn't lumpy.  No butt or sex smells.  No thin and impossibly creepy sheets.  She heard a giggle and went to talk to Venezuela.  She was the third that had went with them.  "What's up?"

"I just got an email from Rona.  She said a few of the girls didn't learn last time.  I asked her what she meant.  Apparently some of the girls in Cleveland were dating the same guy and ended up with the same case of crabs and a few cases of the clap."

Gwen shuddered.  "That's disgusting."

Xander leaned in.  "Six of them were sharing a set of twins and a college junior.  They shared around the four diseases very well.  Who has what?"

"Two of the girls are scratching."

"Dawn, can I hitch a ride," he called.  "Gotta get the itchy ones."  John gave him a dirty look.  "Again."

"I'm going to tan their hides."

"Keep them out of Europe?" Faith asked.  "They clearly have no sense, Papa Smurf."

"Don't call me that," he complained.  She just smirked.  Dawn opened the portal.  Xander looked at Giles, who simply pointed.  He dragged three scratching girls back with him.

"Eww!" Buffy shouted.  "They're cleaning the whole house by themselves!  I am NOT catching things off you girls!"

Xander walked them to the infirmary to find Doctor House packing.  "Leaving already?"

"Sending some stuff back so I can get some more sweaters."

"Bring more out," he offered.  "We love you enough to kidnap you and let you have the ones who didn't learn the last time they had to see you for scratchy issues."

House looked at them then at him.  "Tell me you're joking?"

"Nope," he said with a bright, happy grin.  "Should I gather the others, just in case?"

"Are you getting that feeling?"

"No but I get to scream and rant this time," he assured him.  The girls snorted.  He walked them into the exam room to go off on them.  By the time he was done House was sipping his third cup of coffee and was taking notes on the lecture.  They were crying and begging they'd be celibate if he'd leave them living.  Xander walked out.  "All yours, House."

"Thanks, just what I needed.  Crabs."  He put on sterile surgical gear so he wouldn't get anything on him and went to check them over.  "You didn't learn when John yelled?  How dumb are you three?"  One sniffled a name so he wrote that down.  "Isn't she one of the girls?"  They nodded.  "Is she in your little clique of stupidity?"  Another one nodded.  "Fine.  Xander, we need Rona's little sister as well."

"Sure."  He went to find her and grabbed her, walking her off screaming at her all the way to the infirmary.  She went to hide behind House.  Xander went back to his lecture/rant/screaming fit.  They begged to let House treat them and they'd wear chastity belts for him if he'd leave them living.  He stomped off in a huff to calm down.

House looked at them.  "Next time, learn when John yells at you."  He finished treating them, giving them the boxes of RID he had stocked up on after the last time.  They slunk off, getting caught by Dean, who yelled.  Then John yelled again.  He escorted them back so he could yell with Giles there.  They were some very miserable slayers when Buffy joined in with the reminder that even she had never caught something so disgusting and look what she had dated.  They went to treat themselves then take care of their sheets and beds.  They would not be doing it again.  They'd learn this time.  They'd never touch another man again so they'd ever get another disease off one.

***

Xander looked at the girls the next morning.  "If I EVER have to take one of you down to House because you caught something disgusting off a date, it had better have been because you weren't paying attention or he hurt you.  Am I clear, ladies?"  They all whined.  "I don't give a damn if you date, but the bad taste shown by the girls in Cleveland will not be tolerated here.  It's not that hard to tell if the guy has something nasty!"

They all nodded at that.  "If it does happen, I expect you to race down there, report yourself, get treated, report him to the proper authorities, snub him at school, and possibly humiliate him in public for giving it to you.  No one in this building will EVER need to go on a talk show!"  They all nodded at that.  "Good!  For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry, you'll get that lecture in a few years.  The rest of you, report to John for it now."  They went to do that.  Xander would spank.  John would instruct them in how to not find a gross boyfriend.  If he couldn't, he'd ask Dean to demonstrate.  Xander sighed, smiling as Mary hugged him. "Thanks, Mary.  Let's hope you find a good boy or girlfriend to date."

"I hope so too.  Those things are disgusting."  She went to talk to House.  She didn't need that talk yet.  Not for a few more years.

"Why am I giving it now?" John called up the stairs.

"So you don't have to give it in two years."

"It might work better."  He went to talk to them, helping Dean and Sam do it.  Because he sucked at giving these talks.  Chewing a new one after something happened yes.  Doing it beforehand....  Well, that was more a mother's gift and he wasn't a mother.  He had managed with Dean, and Dean had managed with Sammy.  He gave Dean a look.

"I gave Sammy his."

"You did a good job too," Sam said helpfully.

"Shut up, jackass."  Sam just smirked and waved.  "You should since I gave you yours and they're like little sisters."

"I'd go into romance, lust and love, flowers and hearts, dating...."

"We need to know that stuff too," Dawn pointed out.  "Not one of us knows what to do on dates but Kennedy and I'm sure Willow had some screwed up ideas there too."

"She was more a long walks in the park during patrol sort," Kennedy admitted.

Dean whimpered, shaking his head.  "Fine, we'll talk, ladies.  You can get it from both of us so none of you are permanently killed by whatever you catch."  He pulled Sam up in front of them.  It was just another class, right?  John sat down to listen but Dean made him leave the room.  Then they went into details no one had told the girls about, including how to spot the scuzzy guys in the clubs.  Sam went over dating and what you did and didn't do on a date.  Dean went over what you did when it was a one-night-stand.  It was a lot more thorough than the one Xander and Abby had given them.  Sam even grabbed his laptop and found pictures of the diseases so they knew them on sight.  Sam taught them how to roll a condom down a banana.  The girls giggled but he pointed out half the time the guys didn't want to use one and girls had to insist or they were going to end up on the disease patrol in Cleveland.  The girls quit giggling and went back to staring at them in awe.   Dawn asked a question about what sex actually felt like and they went over their personal experiences, and so did a few of the older girls.  She had to know sometime too.

***

Daniel looked at the girls wandering in.  "Did we have a bad day, ladies?"

"We got a very realistic talk on attitudes, sex, and relationships," Dawn told him.   He stared, mouth slightly open.  "After three of the girls in Cleveland didn't learn the first time."  He shuddered.  "Exactly.  So we had a long talk with Sam and Dean.  Who are both getting drunk tonight.  They even countered each other.  Dean couldn't believe Sammy brought girls candy.  Sam couldn't believe Dean was easy enough to get some on the dance floor itself instead of a dark corner."  They all shivered at that image.  "So we're good."  She gave him a hug.  "If we're really good would you let Xander buy those old sedans for us girls?" she asked quietly.

He patted her on the wrist.  "I wouldn't mind.  I'd have to find out how to do that but it sounds like a good idea to me."  She smiled and they sat down to eat while Danny finished his late lunch.  John walked in.  "Those old sedans, how much work do they need?"

"Some.  A tune up on one.  New fluids on another, plus it has a bald tire.  The last one with the ping needs a lot more work.  You can sell it for scrap and get six hundred.  It'll take about eight or nine hundred to fix."  Daniel nodded at that.  "Xander wasn't against the idea if we're talking about the ISC buying them.  I'm amazed, the instructor even got Buffy able to drive."  He sat down.  "Did the younger ones already eat?"

"They ate with the others," Danny assured him.  That got a nod.  "I'll find out how I do that."  He went to talk to Xander about what a fair offer would be.  Xander was talking to Wes.  "Dawn asked about you guys buying the sedan."

"We could use them.  Are the girls really trained to drive?" Wesley asked.

"They are.  The instructor was one of the FBI academy's driving instructors."

"Wes, he even got Buffy able to drive and not hit the sidewalk," Xander said happily.  "Down to Mary and Anna can now drive."

"That's excellent.  Would two be enough?"

"We should put one at the beck and call of Cleveland and one in LA," Xander pointed out. "One at each of the new houses so they can travel to cases.  We'd have to get with John about how to outfit them to hide the weapons though."

"I can see that happening.  If he thinks they're acceptable then I'm fine with it, Xander.  I know he used to be a mechanic and Dean babies his car quite a lot.  Find their worth and offer the base that.  We'll work on finding one in LA and Cleveland then one for each of the other houses."  He yawned.  "Is everything going all right?"

"Three of the girls in Cleveland didn't learn from the last problem they had," Xander said bluntly.  "Sam, Dean, and John gave them a new lecture this morning after I scared those three to celibacy."

"Excellent," Wesley agreed.  "That is not done by proper young ladies!  Most disgusting."

"Very," Xander agreed.  He grinned at the phone.  "The girls are back from retrieval."

"Even better news.  Anything I should hear from them?"

"The Church wants to take over the slayer in Rome but so far we've held it off.  I'm sending one of Thomas's guys to help her."

"That's good to hear.  Will he be good to her?  If I remember right, her parents thought her possessed."

"He will be.  I laid down the law," Xander promised.  "I made sure he knew exactly why he was going and if there was a problem he'd be seeing me in the middle of the night."

"I could like that," Wesley said, sounding happy with the idea.  "Anything else I should hear?"

"The people in Egypt who're looking at the next apocalypse might need some help, Wesley.  If so, I was going to send you," Daniel said.

"Send Rupert.  He worked at the British Museum and they'll respect that more than they would me.  I'm a mere college boy, he's got the experience."

"That's not a bad idea," Xander agreed.  He conferenced him in.  "Giles, us.  Wes, Danny, and I just talked.  Someone's got to hit Egypt as an advisor and be the one to pull up information on what the demons coming can and will be doing.  Wes thinks they'd listen more to you because of your museum background."

"I have worked with a few of the people in the cultural office down there," he agreed, sounding happy.  "Are you sure, Wesley?"

"Quite.  They'd see me as a mere college graduate in the field.  You have some experience and can point out what they need to hear.  Are we sure this is the real apocalypse?"

"Yes," Daniel said.  "The time code matches.  We have rumors of them coming this way."

"We know demons made it into space," Xander agreed.

"Really, Xander, that's just a fantasy," Giles complained.

"Then why did the girls get beaten up by an alien a demon hired, Giles?" Wesley asked.

"They did," Daniel agreed.  "I wouldn't be surprised if the Gou'ald took some demons when they took humans."

"They did?" Giles demanded.

"I sent you that report.  It was when Abby updated the bracelets the girls wear, Giles," Xander said.

"Caridad, did you see a report about aliens?"

"I gave it to you and you snorted, said it was science fiction crap," she said off the microphone's closest range.  She handed him something apparently.  "Here you go, Giles."

"Caridad, if he goes to Egypt to handle things, can you handle the house?" Xander asked.

"No.  The girls don't want to listen to me."

"We can send one of the others out to help," Wesley assured her.

"Thank you.  Are we getting those three back?"

"I think they're there," Xander told her.  "I didn't spank but I did scream."

"We heard," she assured him.  "I thought they came back to talk to John."

"They might have," he admitted.  "I haven't seen them."

Xander nodded.  "Me either.  Okay, so that's the tentative plan.  Then we'll make full details around New Years."  Everyone made assenting noises.  "The second point.  Giles, all the girls down to Mary can now drive."  He spluttered.  "We're finding a used car the girls can use for cases.  Each house will get one.  Two here on base.  Do you need help finding something trustworthy that won't blow up when they're rushing off to solve something?"

"They can?" he demanded.

"The instructor I found taught all the girls up to the point of defensive driving, even Buffy," Daniel assured him.  "Most of the ones here have gotten their license in the last few days if they were old enough."

"It'd mean the girls could take off shopping without tying up someone to drive them," Xander told him.  "If you want, we can look for you, Giles."

"No, I can find something suitable yet inexpensive."

"Runs well over price, Giles.  We have money to set things up."

"I never see that," he complained.

"You had the checkbook, Giles.  There's the slayer's trust account for their personal, physical, and emotional needs.  That's the shopping account and the account to hire more docs or shrinks.  There's the building fund that was moved into a separate trust.  That one has ten million making baby money in a bank in Cleveland.  There's the long term investment accounts that are tax free so we don't run out of money this millennium."  He grimaced.  "When we got all the insurance stuff I split it equally so they could do what was needed.  The guy in LA oversees it for us.  We're in safe, tax deferred investment accounts that are insured and won't be invested in the stock market to gain interest. We earn small interest but over the years and with as much money as we have, even the one that only earns three and a half percent gets a lot of interest.  The girls live on that most of the time."

"How much did the insurance cover?"

"Thirty on the building itself.  The fixtures had about another three or four.  The book collection was considered priceless but only part of it was damaged so they gave us what they thought was appropriate for obscure, ancient books."  He rubbed his forehead, rifling through Wes's desk.

"Second drawer on the left," Wesley instructed.

Xander found the aspirin and smiled.  "Thanks, Wes."  He took two then found the folder.  "Here we go.  The startup funds..."  He faxed it over.  "It's in your machine, Giles."

"Giles, budget fax," Buffy yelled a minute later, bringing it over.  "Does this mean the girls going prom shopping can get something really nice?"

"Of course," Xander agreed.  "They're taking the ladies here with them.  We have six who think they're going including the ones who got asked by older boys."

"That's cool," Buffy said happily.

Giles cleared his throat.  "There's four accounts listed."

"That last one is for the necessary materials, Giles.  Weapons, helpers, those things.  That's where ISC paychecks come from and where our weapons budget sits.  That's the one you usually see.  The long term one will go to fill that in.  Anything you don't spend on the new building will be going back into the long term account.  Did you look at the building I found online?"

"I did but it's much too small of a lot.  There's no way for the Council to get privacy."

"Rupert, I sent Caridad and Buffy both an email with a link to one I found," Wesley offered.  "It's a bit outside the city limits, which could be safer in the event of a major apocalypse.  We can set up a house closer for the girls.  One that's large enough."

"How much is it?" Xander asked.

"Three and a half," Wesley said proudly.  "It's on a defunct boy's academy.  It has most of the structures and shouldn't need too much updating.  The lots around it are mostly empty and there's a good privacy hedge.  It should fit well within the budget."

"If it goes a bit over we can transfer some around," Xander assured him.  "I figured ten should be enough as a rough estimate looking at the size of a place you were talking about."

"Found it," Buffy said.  She let Giles see it.  "It's pretty there."

"I'd want to see it in person and see how much updating it would need."

"Of course," Xander agreed.  "You wouldn't buy anything without seeing it, Giles."  He leaned back, shaking his head.  John smiled from the doorway and Daniel patted him on the back.  "I sent Caridad the name of an inspection company.  They only do building inspections and aren't affiliated with any particular construction company.  They do them for banks when they repo houses."

"That's not a bad idea," he agreed.  "When did you send it to her?"

"Six, seven months ago," Xander told him.  Giles sighed.  "You've been looking and you needed it.  They'll be able to tell you what you'll need to update, the conditions of the building, and if you tell him part of it is for the library, practice spaces, and the tech center, he'll be able to figure that into an estimate of how much it'll cost."

"A tech center?" he asked, sounding horrified.

"Yes, Giles, because the rest of the world runs on computers and we have to so we can keep up with them.  Mail is great, but it takes days.  Emails takes a day if a server's down somewhere and minutes otherwise.  Not to mention tracking things, doing the budget so it balances itself.  All that can be done by computers and save all of us stress."

"I would have to hire someone."

"Which you'll have to do anyway," Wesley assured him.  "None of us went to business school, Rupert."

"Good point."  He tapped his fingers a few times near the phone.  "Very well then.  I'll look at that one and talk to the inspectors, Xander.  Where did the rest of the money you got from the estates go?"

"It's in a separate account within the long term one.  With the insurance limits we had to make a fund sort of place and use separate accounts.  The person doing it does Angel's money too.  He's a very nice half demon in LA who knows we do not want any sort of risk.  Just gently making baby money.  He works for a mixed firm and the humans there do know about the demonic so they didn't blink at us being ISC.  After the guy you found tried to rob the long term one to invest in something pretty risky on the stock market, it was better we went through them.  They got it sorted out within a week and we get to say we do work with peaceful demons.  Even the old timers couldn't bitch too much about that since they've given us a five percent return without using any risky tactics that would endanger the money from a stock market crash."

"Very well then.  I would like to talk to them to hear these details," he pointed out.

"Then go to LA and ask, Giles.  If you had asked, we'd have told you this," Xander pointed out.

"I have talked to him numerous times and he's a very nice chap," Wesley told him.  "He's investing some of mine in a retirement fund.  I'm getting fantastic interest since I can be a bit less cautious with my funds."

"Speaking of, got an email from the judge, Wes.  Your father's estate is the last up.  He waited to do anyone directly related to us last.  Your dad's, Travers for some reason.  I think Giles or you was specifically mentioned in it.  Giles' father's estate.  That's coming up this time and I do not need to show up.  If he needs me as ISC personnel he can call.  It's on the eighth if you wanted to show up in person."

"I'll be back there anyway," Wesley promised.  He sounded happy.  "Thank you for informing me, Xander."

"Not an issue, Wes.   I'll let you and Giles figure those things out together."  He stood up to stretch, wincing when his arm twinged.  "Until then, I'm exhausted and my head hurts so I'm going to go to bed early.  Night, guys."  He hung up on them.  They could call each other if they wanted to chat or Giles wanted to complain he was usurping again.

John patted him on the back.  "I think you've done an amazing job since Giles sits on his ass in Cleveland and mopes."

"Thanks, John. It's nice to hear."  He smiled.  "Faith hits the big year the end of next year," he said quietly.

"If so, we'll help her.  Buffy too."  That got a nod and Xander left.  He looked at Daniel.  "I'll look up the blue book value.  You find out how to do that."  Daniel nodded, going to do that.  John also went to look up the nearest parts store.  He'd need it for that one.

***

Daniel watched the girls go out on their first approved solo shopping trip with a heavy heart.  He wasn't sure why since they didn't have his credit cards.  He checked his wallet to make sure, so did Xander he noticed.  He waved and smiled.  They were going prom shopping but this was still a scary thing.  Then again, they were big girls and they were going in groups.

"We're not idiot savants with weapons," Shea called from where she was polishing her bike.  "We can handle it if we're attacked."

Xander looked at her.  "So?  Still their first solo shopping trip outside of town.  Who knows what'll come up to them wherever they head.  We may train you girls but those ones are still seventeen."

She stared at him.  "I was hunting on my own at sixteen."  He shrugged.  "Would you worry so much if they were guys?"

"Yes, and more because they panty raided so much," Sam said as he walked past her.  "We all have our credit cards, right?"  They checked again then nodded.  "Good!"  A flash went off and Sam looked around.  "Huh.  This is not the set."  He looked at the people around them.  "Um, aren't you the guy who played on Buffy?" he asked.

Xander moaned and grabbed his phone.  "No, I'm not.  But I have heard that before in another realm."  He called Cleveland.  "Whatever she just did, make her stop it!  She took Dean and Sam and replaced them with actors who apparently play them in another reality!" he shouted.  "I do mean now!"  He hung up and smiled.  "Sorry.  We're having a rogue witch problem."

"Are you still friends?" Daniel asked bluntly.

Xander looked at him.  "Can I go shoot her?"

"Let me," John said.  "You work on getting my boys back, Xander."

"Dawn!" Xander shouted.  "Or Paige, someone!"

"Dude, you yell a lot," the not-Sam said.  The other guy was looking around confused.  "What is this place anyway and do you have any candy?"

"Sweets we can do," Xander said, leading them to the caf.  They had been hiding ice cream from the girls and brownies.  He pulled them out.  "Welcome to Demon Criminal Investigative Services, guys.  If I'm right, you two are actors?"

The not-Dean nodded.  "We are.  So this is an AU off our realm?"

"Yup.  Apparently."  He nibbled on a brownie then handed over the plate.  "Chocolate?  The HP books got a few things rights.  Chocolate does help with shock."

Daniel leaned in.  "It's going to be messy, Xander.  She's swearing up and down she didn't do it."

"Do we have a not-Willow, or was it maybe Ethan?"

"No.  He was my second thought.  He's still in the hospital, still in no shape to cast anything, and he said it was her.  He checked."

"Her white lighter is where?"

"I have no idea and neither does John.  He's presently spanking the hell out of her."

"Good!  Saves my hand for later."

"Dean and Sammy first," Daniel ordered.

"Sam," the not-Sam said.  The not Dean giggled.  "Sorry, had that line earlier in a scene we had to do about five takes on.  It stuck in my head."

Xander grinned.  "We hear plenty choruses of that and 'jackass, brat', or 'bitch, jerk', or even 'drag queen wanna be, gay cocksucker'.  Depending on the day."

"Dean's gay?" the not-Dean asked.

"No.  Just now and then he needs stress relief, like the rest of us."  That got a nod.  "It happens.  It's that or hit on the slayers.  Want another brownie or to go play with our unicorns?"

"Xander," Daniel complained.  "The unicorns already?"

"What?  They're cute.  They kill time.  They won't hurt them.   The girls will pounce and hurt them."

"Good point.  Sure, go play with the unicorns."  He went to make note of this.  Jack was going to howl at this one.

"Unicorns are real?" the not-Dean asked.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  Let's head outside.  They've got a comfy barn to play in so it'll keep you away from the terror squad of slayers.  The horniness patrol is bored today.  You'd be easy targets."  He walked out eating his ice cream because otherwise he was going to throw a fit on someone.  These two didn't deserve it.  The not-Dean was trying every number in his celllphone.  "Not sure if it'll work, but if you do get one of them, warn your not-selves?"

"I can do that."  He finally got one that worked and it went to... the guy who played John in their world.  "Thank God, man.  We're not on set.  No, we're in a whole new world.  No, not a prank, don't hang up."

Xander leaned closer.  "Sir, unfortunately one of our witches went rogue.  Willow's very sorry and our Dean and Sam are presently probably terrorizing their friends to try to get home.  If possible do you think you might warn them?  Tell them their dad is working on Willow quite hard right now."  He opened the barn door and let them inside.

"Oh, my God," the not-Sam breathed.  "Unicorns are real."  He got down to let them sniff him.  The pure white one backed off but the other one nuzzled him and let him pet her all he wanted.  "You are so adorable!"

The not-Dean took a picture with his phone.  "No one at home is going to believe this."

Buffy leaned in.  "Xander, where's Dawn?"

"Prom shopping with Mercy, Brenda, and Kia."

"Shoot.  I wanted some sister time."  She smiled.  "Hi, guys."

"They're not our Dean and Sam, Buffy.  In their world they play Dean and Sam.  Tv, guys?"  They nodded.

"I wondered why John came storming to the house."

"Willow."

"Figures.  She sent Morgana off."

"She's about to get my foot up her ass," Xander assured her.  "In a way she will never forget.  I've had enough and I'm going to start screaming soon.  Full on, like I did after the last battle screaming."

"I get that.  I learned my lesson.  The girls you screamed at for being slutty little brats did too," she said quickly, nodding a bit.  This stressed out, angry Xander was a scary guy.  "Can you send Dawnie to me when she's done?  I want to spend some time with her before it all goes to hell for me."

"Buffy, you're aging out, not dying," he told her.  "Really.  This means you can be the normal girl you've wanted to be."  She shrugged a bit.  "Really.  That means you can date guys and be pretty and not have to worry about slime.  Just be a wiser, older sister to the rest of the horde."

"I guess.  Still sucks."

He shrugged.  "I didn't make the rule.  I know most of the girls are looking forward to aging out and you've built yourself around it but maybe there's a way it'll let you pick to keep it.  I don't know.  Go ask Thomas."  She nodded, going to do that.  "Sorry, we found out slayers age out at twenty-three," he said quietly.

"So, on the show, Willow activated all the slayers," the not-Dean said.

Xander nodded.  "Here too.  I was on the old base guarding the younger girls who couldn't fight yet.  Then afterwards I went to get the injured ones to give them a place to recover from the battle while Buffy and Giles made plans.  They went back into their whole 'normal people can't do the job' speech until I pointed out they didn't have an option.  Then the watchers decided to cut it back down to one or two slayers instead of fifty-eight."  He ate another bite of ice cream.  "They blew themselves up and we survived and moved on while some of them were in a magical coma.  Fortunately the president had been assassinated by a demon after the Initiative mess for creating that sterling concept of an agency," he said dryly.  "So the next guy formed DCIS and slowly moved us up until we took over after the fall of Sunnydale.  We got well known after the LA invasion."  He ate another bite.  "I have no idea if it's the same in your world."

"I don't think we have demons."

"We might.  They're probably hiding," the not-Dean told him.

"That's good then."  He took one of the brownies Xander had carried out and went back to petting her.  "What's your name, precious?"

"Binky.  Annabelle named them.  The other is Digger.  If you see the walking shrub, his name is George."  He sat down to pet Binky with him.  The not-Dean took a brownie to nibble on then he settled in to pet her too.  It could be worse he guessed.  He could be running for his life.

***

Dean looked around the spot they found themselves in.  This was clearly not home.  No Xander.  No dad.  Trailers instead of buildings.  He slowly inched a hand toward his gun, moving so his back was against Sam's while they stared around.

"You two are supposed to be in wardrobe in ten minutes!" a young woman complained, walking up to them.  "Are you trying to ambush with super soakers again?"

"No, ma'am," Dean said.

She stared at him.  "You're not our Jared and Jensen, are you?"

"No, ma'am," Sam said.  "Who?"

"Um, the actors who star on the show Supernatural?" she offered hesitantly.  "They play Dean and Sam Winchester."

Dean took out his ID and held it up.  She whimpered.  "I can play myself," he offered with a grin.

"Now I know you're not him.  Shoot.  This is a big issue!"  She looked around.  "Okay, for now, let's get you guys under cover and out of sight before someone tries something.  The boys won't mind you guys using their trailer."  She led them that way.  "I'm their assistant.  Let me tell the boss to shut down the site for today.  Any idea what happened?"

"Da..." Sam started then quit.  He stared at the actor who looked strangely familiar.

The guy looked at him.  "I wondered why I got a phone call for you two.  I thought it was  a prank and fortunately I'm nearby to do another flashback scene."  He stared at them, then shook his head.  "You're definitely not our boys unless they suddenly got Marine lessons."

Dean shook his head.  "That means they're probably on base?"

"The guy named Xander said Willow did it and your father is beating her butt good."

"Good!" Dean agreed happily.  "That means she can fix it!"  He looked at Sam.  "I agree, let's get out of sight.  This is majorly creepy, dude."

"Ya think?" Sam shot back.  The assistant led them to a trailer and let them inside.  Then she ran off.  Sam looked at the other actor.  "I'm sorry Willow did this.  I know she's going to be sorry when Dad's done with her.  It shouldn't take too long to fix and as long as there's no attack on the DCIS base they should be fine.  They're probably playing with the unicorns."

"Or being hit on by the slayers," Dean agreed.

"Slayers?" another guy asked as he came in.  He looked at them.  "Jared's not wiggling.  What's wrong?  Tell me someone drugged the crew?" he begged.

"No, Willow apparently exchanged us for your actors," Sam told him.  "She's been playing what if with the universe recently.  But hey, it's not an apocalypse so we've got a better deal than Xander did."  Dean elbowed him.  "We do!"

He frowned at his brother.  "Won't telling them stuff change their timeline?"

"Not if we're a tv show here."  He looked at them.  "Was Xander a tv show too?"

"Xander?"

The assistant smiled.  "Harris?"  They nodded.  "He was one of the two main male characters on the show Buffy."

"We know Buffy.  She's nicer now that she has her head out of her ass," Dean sighed, looking at his brother.  "Go ahead.  You've been picking up Xander babble again."

"I have not!"

"Have so.  You're even a bigger drama queen than he is."

"He's not a drama queen, the girls drive him to it, and I still say you're the bigger drama queen with the spank magazines and tempting Brenda to get into trouble with Dad."

"Brenda?"

"One of the slayers," Dean said.  "Dad decided she's like a little sister."  He nudged Sam again so he told them all about the slayers, DCIS, and all of that.  The producer moaned.  Dean nodded.  "Try living through it.  We have to do another room inspection later to confiscate our underwear again."  Sam moaned, covering his face.  "And to take down the shrine one of the girls built to him."  He smirked.  "So, is acting fun?"

"Most of the time, but it's a bit of work now and then," the other actor said.

The producer shook his head.  "How long do you think it'll take?"

"Dad's beating her ass right now," Dean said simply.  "If he doesn't work, Xander's going to go after her.  Xander's probably about to lose his temper."  He pulled out his phone and tried numbers until he got one that worked.  "Dad, hey.  Never guess where we are," he said dryly.

"Dad, they're creeped out by us," Sam said next to the phone.  "How long before you can make Willow fix it?"

"Probably six hours.  She has to get some supplies," Dean told them.

"Then you two stay in here.  Don't eat all of Jared's candy stash, he'll pout.  Read a book, watch tv, all that stuff.  We'll call off taping for today."  He went to do that before he had a migraine.  This was wrong on so many levels!

The assistant smiled.  "Is there anything you guys won't eat?"

"Tofu," they said together.

"The girls tried very hard and Dean had to spank," Sam told her.

"I can deal with that.  Got a coffee preference?  I can raid the tables for you two so no one else has to know."

"Sugar," Dean said.  "I like sugar.  A lot."

"Don't eat all Jared's candy," she said, going to get them food.  The other actor followed shaking his head.  "Do you think the girl who played Willow knows about this?"

"I have no idea," he admitted.  "But I have a headache."

"Me too but they seem interesting and pretty decent."  She loaded up two takeout boxes for each one and carried them back with a thermos for coffee.  Then she went to get another thermos and some cups.  She smiled and left them alone to talk or whatever.  She knew what some of the fangirls the guys had thought they did after hours.  There was no telling what these two did.

"Sammy, one of your psychic gifts can't get us home, right?" Dean asked.

"No."  The producer came back with something.  "Something we can help with?"

"Where did your timeline divert from ours?"

"Probably from the start if we're a tv show here."

"Can you look at our show's timeline and see where we majorly diverted?  There might be an episode in this."

Dean looked then pointed.  "We were on our way to Chicago when Xander showed up to tell us the FBI was going to arrest us and DCIS or the ISC could shelter us."  The guy gaped.  Dean shrugged.  "Some of the demons that got killed were still looking human when they croaked."

"The credit cards," he said.

"Was a big part of it," Sam agreed.  He looked then wrote down theirs as they happened.  They led boring lives anymore.  "Dean, we never go hunt anymore."

"I go hunt, you don't."

Sam looked at him.  "We need to take a vacation and go hunt.  No Xander, no Dad, no slayers."

"Why?"

"Because by this standard we're boring."

Dean looked.  "You forgot the spell against the Powers."  Sam put that in.  "We can do that, Sammy."

"Thanks."  He finished it up and handed it back.  "As of this morning.  Dad's enjoying having the girls to train.  A lot most of the time.  Even if they do frustrate him to no end."

"He's going to teach Brenda about cars by fixing up the clunker," Dean offered.

"He should teach Shea how to take better care of her bike.  You can teach Faith."

"Faith's helped me tinker with the Impala a few times.  She's thinking about vocational school for when she ages out late next year."

"We know she can lead people and do the physical labor part.  Mechanics or something else?"

"She was thinking about truck driving but then she decided it wasn't what she wanted.  She's been down there a few times to talk to them.  When she figures it out, she'll tell us.  Xander will arrange it for her, and she'll be a happy big sister to the younger crew."

"Complete with boyfriend?" Sam teased.

Dean shrugged. "She doesn't want to be that serious and neither do I, Sammy.  I'm leaving it there until one of us changes.  She's fun, a good friend, and I like her a lot but we'll have to see where this leads us for now.  Still a lot of evil bastards in the world."  He picked up some ropy, sugary thing and took a nibble.  "Those aren't bad."  He checked the package name so he could find them at home, going back to his nibbling.

"This is what I remember of the last season of Buffy," the producer said, writing it down.

Sam looked.  "Around that point, the guys who were doing DCIS before it was officially DCIS came to Sunnydale to let them know they were going to help.  That they had rescued a few of the girls.  They wanted to do a switch over of the older ones so Xander got sent to guard the young ones.  They sent Giles' books, their personal stuff, and some of the artifacts they found around town with him.  They moved to a base in Illinois.  The battle went that way as far as I know.  Xander went back that night to get the ones injured or in shock from the battle.  They had another fight about him being a normal guy but he pointed out they didn't have a choice in the matter.  He took a bunch of them back and saved them and the ones on the base from the Watchers Council because they pulled a power move and went to blow them all up so they'd only have one or two maybe.  The DCIS base was barely ready then and the president had them moved and started the agency running a few months early.  Xander was basically running the girls and the agency until they hired Tony DiNozzo from NCIS and he came in as the senior agent.  They hired Daniel Jackson to run the agency since he had been retired from field work at his old post."

"We see a lot of Jack now and then," Dean told him.  "They're moving his project, NID, and Area 51 under DCIS within the year."

"Wesley's handling the patrol issues.  Xander's doing most everything else.  I'm teaching demonology, Dad's being the dad and doing the early training stuff.  Plus some of the more esoteric stuff that Xander doesn't have the time to get to.  Dean's over the rest of the training and he's Xander's assistant if he's off on a case."

"Here, Stargate and NCIS are both shows, guys.  On different networks."

Dean shrugged.  "Then maybe your realm is the point where other realities branch off from."

"It's called a nexus reality.  The more realms you have branching off the stronger your realm is.  We've had a few wish universes but nothing more than that I think.  Well, and our shield might be counted as one."

"It's a different looking world according to Messer, Flack, and Taylor," Dean agreed.

"Though the unicorns are nice," Sam added.

Dean nodded.  "Binky's pretty cool and Digger tries really hard.  He's a bit too uptight British for me."

Sam smirked.  "I won't tell Wes  you compared him to a unicorn."

"He'll laugh.  You know he will."  They shared a look then looked at him.  "Did they cover the demon invasion?"

"In Angel's series.  He got his own spinoff after graduation."

"I wonder if his Connor would be upset that he's dating a slayer," Dean mused.

"He is?"

"Yeah, we have two on permanent assignment in LA - Morgan and Crissy.  Morgan and Connor are dating.  Crissy's pregnant, expected to pop around Easter."

Sam grinned at him.  "Connor came to see Xander and said he understood how he felt back in Sunnydale because he was now surrounded by cranky girls."

Dean snickered.  "I can see him doing that.  His sense of humor is getting better."

"So, instead of Cleveland he went to the base?"

"Wesley took over Cleveland.  He was the only awake watcher.  He took Faith and then Xander started testing girls.  Morgan and Crissy went to LA immediately since Angel was in the magical coma too.  The others switched out with Faith and them to cover the biggest troubled areas while he got the others trained as best he could until he got us.  Then Giles and Buffy woke up, things went to hell for a few weeks, Giles is more concerned about rebuilding the Council than anything else.  He's taken over Cleveland now but Buffy's with him until she ages out.  Then she'll work with the new ISC."

"Slayer's Council," Dean said.  "Xander changed the name so assholes like Travers didn't screw around with the girls."

"You know, the Powers could be getting back at him for going after them that way," Sam said.

Dean looked at him.  "That's not that unreasonable.  Dawn started it but the Key protects her a bit.  They don't like Xander and they don't watch him.  So him openly defying them could mean...  Yeah.  That demon inspired lust thing that we both have now and then.  The luck in Vegas could've come from that.  If he hadn't handled it, it could've caused a lot of problems and pain when some casino guard beat him for it.  And us."

"Luck, curses?" the producer asked.

Dean groaned so Sam answered.  "When he was younger he killed this one type of demon.  It's blue with purple tentacle hair and five regular tentacles."  That got a slow nod.  "When it dies it'll taint you so whenever you're too uptight and need stress relief or go into heat, according to the demon we talked to, you end up having the stink come back.  It basically draws people to you.  Dean gets a lot of offers for sex and some money."  The producer giggled.  "Xander got seven bad girls in a mall while we were making him shop."

"Two with bombs," Dean added.  "And one gou'ald that wanted him to be her army."

The producer howled with laughter.  "That's so cool!  Oh, man, I want to try to use that one."  He wiped his face off.  "Is that the curse?"

"The luck curse was different.  See, there's a demon run D&D style game in Las Vegas," Sam said, getting a beaming look.  "They do it to help a realm that needs it. Xander won the last one they had up by not doing it the normal way and being a geek.  Things like sleeping with all the tavern wenches so they ended up protecting him.  Out-drinking a dwarf to get his respect.  Petting the dragon and eggs instead of trying to kill her."  The guy gaped.  "So when he won, he got box that spewed money.  The next day, being lonely, he hired a working girl."

"Who wasn't that bad looking," Dean admitted.

"I didn't see her, I'll take your word for it."  He looked at him again.  "Anyway, either the box or the girl gave us some extreme luck.  Like we walked past a slot machine and it went off, dude."

The guy moaned.  "That's bad."

"Nearly got us beaten by security but they had gotten us for winning with some of the crappiest hands in existence on our chosen games," Dean told him.  "They could tell it wasn't an EMF flux or anything.  They couldn't find any machines, nothing.  Xander explained what the two causes could be and they agreed it was strange but we're DCIS and ISC so we're used to the strangeness in life."

"They let us leave town after some present shopping.  Instead we took Xander, since it was his mandatory vacation, to Disney and a few other theme parks he'd never been to but wanted to go to. Plus back to Sunnydale so he could tell us and heal a bit more."

"Anya still fell during the last battle?"  They both nodded.  "Is he seeing someone now?"

"No but the girls try *really* hard," Sam said with a grin.  Dean ate another of the sugary rope things.  Sam stared at him.  "I'd be upset."

"I'm sure they've let him into my candy stash."

Sam shook his head, looking at the producer.  "See what I put up with?"

"Yeah.  If I give you our current plotline can you tell me where I got something wrong?  I've already had one group tell me soul contracts don't work that way."

"Sure," Sam agreed.  He handed over the earlier script and he sighed.  "That is so something Dean would've done."

Dean looked then at him.  "That was Xander's vision during that shared dream."

"I forgot about that," he said quietly, looking at him.  He went over it.  "You didn't show the contract?"  He handed over the scroll he had gotten from the prop tent.  He read it then pointed.  "You built in six good loopholes.  Including the option of having something else steal his soul and keep it from her for a few days but Dean can get it back somehow.  Some will do that.  Some wish demons will.  Some of the higher demons."  He handed it back then smiled, pulling out his phone/PDA to look something up.  "This one.  He likes to take them to play mind games with them.  Since she wrote she'd be coming in one year and left no leeway you might be able to get around it that way."

"That would be freakish Xander luck," Dean said.  He looked it over.  "Me personally I'd go for this clause.  I know it's standard."  He looked at him.

"One of the assistant directors knew.  It's how he got his shot.   Three percent."

"It only takes a bit to tip you fully over."  He pointed it out.  "It doesn't seem like an out but it has a built-in contradiction."  He read it over.  "And it's void if there's no purity left in the soul.  There's always some but you can't take the impure parts unless it's specified in that clause.  Even if it says whole soul in other places. Then again, you could also body switch, have us trap a lost soul like a ghost, which would be evil of us.  Have Sam dazzle her with bullshit so she takes whatever soul he hands over.  If she feels cheated she'll undo the deal and take us both.  Though, there is a way out in that last clause too.  She had to sign her real name.  Doing that means Sammy can research her, call her, trap her somewhere during the critical times and possibly kill her."

The producer grinned.  "So we have Dean doing all the last minute things.  Twins, triplets, lottery tickets, all that."

Dean nodded.  "Sounds like me."

Sam punched him on the arm.  "Don't say that.  It could happen to us too.  Though you already do most of those."

"With our luck it'd be demonically induced cancer," Dean shot back.  Sam moaned, shaking his head.  "Then House could talk Wilson out to let him tap him easier."  He looked at the producer, who was gaping.  "What?"

"House?  Doctor House?  That's another tv show that's not affiliated with either station the shows you've mentioned are on."

Dean nodded.  "We needed a good doc.  Tony found him and Danny went to recruit then Xander finished up during a problem.  We got Chase and House.  Then we got the docs with the mental problems so they came back since they're in jail."

"It got House out of something to do with his painkillers," Sam said.  "We heard there was a vindictive cop and he tried to get House arrested or something."

"Yeah, that's about how it went on the show.  He's not British in your world, right?"

"No, why?" Sam asked.

"He's played by a British actor."

"No.  He will snark with Anna, Faith, Dean, and Xander."

"At the girls who deserve it," Dean said.

Sam nodded quickly at that.  "I'm sure they got some of it last night when the three who didn't learn the first time came to get another exam."

"Exam?"

"The ones in Cleveland have the nasty habit of picking up guys with crabs and other things before sharing them with the others.  At one point six had shared the same three guys to get a combination of four diseases spread across the group."  The producer dropped the papers with a whimper.  "Three didn't learn and had to get it again yesterday."

"Xander went off in a way that made Dad proud."

"Dude, you have no idea what he yelled at those girls," Dean agreed.

"I'm hoping the talk we had meant that they'd stop panty raiding the agents and us," Sam said.

Dean shrugged.  "Probably not.  Mary joined in last time to annoy us to death."  The producer shoved over some M&M's when the sugar ropes ran out.  "Thanks, dude."

"Welcome."  He looked at Sam.  "Thank you for your help.  Can you guys stay in here for a bit?"

"Sure," they agreed.

"We don't want to make anyone else confused."

"Or want us so you get crying girls when we leave," Dean said smugly.

"Some might.  I'll pop back around in a few hours to see if you're still here."  He stood up.  "The tv's behind you.  Try to relax.   We shouldn't have any creatures on set that aren't in makeup."  He left them alone, resisting the urge to lock them in.  That wouldn't be nice.  He was sure the base was treating his boys very well.

Even if the slayers were hitting on them and flirting.  They were used to it from the fangirls.

***

Willow did the spell to fix it but felt it didn't work.  She moaned.  Dawn came in and took over the spell with Phoebe's help.  This time it worked.  "Why?" she asked.

"The goddess cut you off," Phoebe said bluntly.  She looked at Dawn.  "Let's strip her room."  They got up to do that, with Morgana's help.  "She trap you?" she asked the older, former witch.

"Sent me off by banishing me."

"That's going to change," Dawn said.  "How did she get them back?"

"I don't know.  She's still in the six months without magic part of her punishment."

Phoebe held up something that looked like green skin.  "What is this?"

Dawn saw then glared at her. "You killed a demon for her power?" she sneered.  She took it down to Giles and Buffy in the kitchen.   It was carefully laid over a cutting board.  "Found it in her room."

Giles stared then at her.  "She took someone's power?"  Dawn nodded.  "We'll bury that later as is proper.  Any other parts you three find as well."

"Thank you."  She went back up there.  When they found more, Giles wrapped it in the skin and had Buffy dig the hole so he could inter it properly to appease the demons.  The girls took all the spell components and everything down to candles back to Phoebe's house. Dawn smiled.  "Found demon parts too."

"She ran out trying to cast the reversal," Phoebe said.  "Think they got to talk to each other?"

"Time did stretch there for a few seconds in the middle of the spell while we caught our breath," Dawn admitted.  "So they probably did."  They put things in the closet then went to hug the kids.  Piper smiled, shaking her head.  "We learned how to drive."

"It's a good life skill," Piper called after them.

"We have two cars for the girls on base.  And Shea has her bike."

Piper snickered.  "I'm sure they're going to have fun with that."

Dawn came down the stairs.  "Prom shopping."

Piper looked at her.  "Get something tasteful that will make the boys drool."

"I plan on it."  She pulled out a picture.  "What do you think?"

She looked then at her.  "Not your color.  The fit is a bit tight and will Xander let you wear a two-piece dress?  That's basically a bra, a skirt, and a few connecting straps."

She grimaced. "Maybe not."  She straightened up.  "She's done for.  Giles buried the parts we found so it won't attack us or her.  Our guys should be back so I'm going to check on them.  Thanks for the help, Phoebe."

"Not a problem, Dawn.  Morgana's probably spanking her now."

"She already got her butt blistered by John."

"Good!" Piper said.  "Maybe she'll learn.  Finally."  Dawn nodded and disappeared, going back to the base.  She went back to her book.  "The kids still napping?"

"They were playing with crayons on paper."  Piper raced up to save the walls from the kids.  Phoebe went to see Paige brewing something.  "Vanquishing potion?"

"Smelly potion for someone local who can't brew but needed one with a healing she's helping with tonight."  She looked at her.  "What did she do?"

"Changed Dean and Sam out for the actors who play them in another realm."

She let out a hysterical laugh.  "Why haven't the Elder stopped her yet?"

"Dawn isn't fully trained.  They need one really strong witch to help with apocalypses and hellmouths."

Leo appeared.  "Basically.  Dawn will be fully trained within a year they think.  Then Willow will get a sink or swim test.  We already know she won't be coming back at full power."

"Did you see her stunt today?"

"Yup.  Why did she do it?"

"Because Dean and Sam were warping the girls away from Buffy."

"Ah."  He nodded once.  "They'll get her next."

"She can't sit now," Phoebe told him.  "John got her earlier.  Xander was going to."

"Well, at least it was fixed and the unicorns didn't go with them, right?"

"No, they're on base.  Dawn said so."

***

Jared looked around.  "We're back," he said quietly.

"That's cool.  The other place was nice but it was worse than a convention with the fangirls."  Jared laughed, nodding.  "Let's eat something?  It was the middle of dinner."

"Sure."  They headed for the craft tables that always had something to eat, even after hours, and found a unicorn trying to graze.  "Binky, get out of the salad!" he complained.  He came over to move her but found himself staring into green eyes.  "You're not Binky."  He snorted, staring at them.  He let him have some of the lettuce, getting a few happy sounds while he grazed.  He looked at their producer.  "He followed us home."

"I can tell.  Slayers?"

"Horny, crazy fangirls," Jensen said simply.  "Who hug, a lot."

"Especially Xander," Jared agreed.  "They fed us ice cream while they thought and let us pet their unicorns on base.  The girls coming to do their chores with the little ones found us."  He handed over more lettuce, getting nuzzled for it.  "Thanks.  Got a name you like?"  It shook its head.  "Okay, we'll think up one if you stay."  It grabbed a cinnamon roll and trotted off to nibble on it.  All three of the humans watching shook their heads.  "So, go room for a unicorn at home?"

"We'll see what we can do."  He gave them both hugs.  "Dean and Sam are a lot tougher than I thought."

"They have to withstand the girls," Jared teased.  "Though, Faith was kinda cute when she cuddled up next to you, Jensen."

"Shut up, Jared.  She's not my girlfriend.  She's Dean's."  He looked at him.  "They're insane."

"So we heard.  They did give me some great ideas for a story and how to get out of that deal."  They both grinned at that.  "I called the shoot for the day due to them being here.  Go rest."  They fled with their snacks.  He checked the trailer and it was clean so he was happy.  The unicorn followed the boys back to their motel room.  It was bleeting to be let in.  He knocked and she slid in when Jensen opened the door.  "You have a yard, right?"

"Yeah," he said, watching the unicorn play with Jared.  "Fine.  Whatever."  He closed the door and went to play too.  He was a pretty nice thing and very soft.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Watching Over You.

Dawn hurried over to where Xander was sitting.  "We need at least three chaperones from up here for the prom."

"Why so many?"

"Because we have two teachers getting married the next day and they can't attend. Neither can a few others in the wedding parties.  So we need at least three but not more than five."

He looked around then whistled.  "Faith, you never went to the prom, right?"  She grimaced but shook her head.  "The kids need at least three chaperones.  This means you can live vicariously while making sure no one does anything that you'd want to do to Dean."  She blushed at that.  He grinned.  "Besides, it'll give you the chance to show up and be pretty for a night.  You can even take Dean."  He looked at the other girls.  "Shea, you're up too.  You or Gwen.  You guys can have fun with the high school boys who drool."

"Why?" Faith demanded.  "I didn't wanna go to the one in Sunnydale, much less now."

"Because the girls will respect you and it's not like they can figure out how to hide weapons in a dress."  He looked at her.  "I went and I don't want to have Anya flashbacks."

John groaned.  "He's right, Faith.  Take Dean, make it a date or something.  He never went to one of his."

"What would I have to wear?" Dean complained.

"Tux or good suit.  She'll have to have a good dress," Dawn said, smiling at her.  "We can make you look *so* hot."  She looked at Xander.  "We need final dress approval also."

"You have to be able to hide at least one weapon in it," John told her.

She gave him an odd look then went to get a catalog, showing him a picture.  "That's what mine looks like only it's in dark blue."  He stared at it then at her.  She smiled. "I do know self defense.  It's comfortable so I can move in it.  Really."  She looked at Xander.  "Can you at least do that part?"

"With the ugly shirts he wears?" Dean teased.

"But he knows what girls look pretty in and he won't lie to us like you would so we'll wear something baggy and homely."  She smiled at Xander.  "Please?"

"Fine."  He put down his book and went with her back to the dress shop.  He found the girls waiting impatiently and stared. "Let's see 'em."  The sales clerk smiled.  "I'm the big brother shopping approval committee."  Brenda put on hers first and he stared.  Then he slowly shook his head.  "No.  Wear something you look hot in, Brenda. You want your date to drool."

"But....  I'm not sure John would like that."

He sighed.  "John is a father.  He knows that sometimes all his kids grow up."  He patted her on the cheek.  "You have a fantastic body thanks to all the work you put into it.  Show it off a little bit.  Flash some leg."

"I have one of those," Dawn said.

Xander looked at hers.  It was two thinish straps for breast coverage, a skirt, and three horizontal straps.  "No."  He sighed, leaning against the counter.  "Ladies, we want you to look hot, not trashy."  He got an idea.  "Find something that would make Sammy gape in awe or whoever your crush on base is gape in awe and sweat."  They moaned at that image, going to look for other dresses.   He found one for Brenda.  It was a maroon strapless mermaid dress.

"I can't fight in that."

"You shouldn't have to," he assured her.  "That's why there's chaperones.  Faith and Dean are going as chaperones.  Shea too."

"He still won't let me wear it if I can't defeat the bad advances in it."

He sighed, handing it off to one of the other girls.   She'd look good in it probably.  He found her one that had thin straps, a more structured corset-like top and a huge tulle skirt.  "Not puffy because the ones that have the puffs this year look like some ugly curtains."  This one was in blood red and had a few sparkles on the bodice but the skirt was plain.  "You can do a bodice dagger or a thigh holster."  She beamed and went to try it on.  The one he handed the maroon one too he grimaced at.  "Too much upper belly, dear.  Sorry."  She went to change into one that cupped her smaller breasts and then flowed down from there gently.  "Better but you look kinda pregnant."  She grimaced, going to find one that suited her better.  A more dual layer mermaid gown was found.  This one was light pink with white lace over it and the whale boning inside would keep that small bit of belly fat from showing.

"They're all such lovely girls," the clerk told him.  "With very good bodies."

"That's because we have to do PT at least every Saturday for self defense, sword work on Sunday with him, and then we have daily PT after classes," Dawn said.  "Even me."

Xander grinned.  "It means you'll be able to keep up with your future girl."

"Hopefully."  The clerk stared.  "I'm a watcher in training."

"You have to do that much work?"

Xander nodded.  "Plus have excellent research skills, good memory recall of various types of demons, be able to back your slayer up, help her train and to bandage her up after a fight.  Dawn's got a good start on it."

Dawn went in to try on her next one.  It was a black dress that had a halter neckline and was tight, but not corset looking, all the way down to the straight skirt.  The only break in it was the belt around her waist.   She looked at herself.  "Maybe if the belt was different."

Xander came over to look.  "That does give you more of a waist since you've got tiny hips.  He took it off her and looked at the dress.  It was slit up to mid-thigh.  It had a small train in the back.

"The belt helps my figure," Dawn agreed.

The salesclerk came over.  "We have a few other styles that are about like that.  Including one that doesn't have the belt but does have the decorated bodice area and one that has bands just above the slit and just below the breasts."  She handed those to Dawn.  Who went to try them on.  Xander considered then shook his head slowly.  "We have one that's fairly plain," she offered, handing over the midnight blue silk.  It didn't have any decoration, was strapless, and was also generously cut up the thigh.  The girl did have impressive legs.

"Maybe a chain belt for that one?" Xander suggested, coming over to look.  "Off-side maybe?"  The clerk found him a separate one, letting him put it on her to hang it from one top of the hipbone to blow the hip on the other side, letting the belt hang down from there.  "With a jeweled clip?"

She looked then shook her head. "No."  She went to take it off.

"We do have two others.  One's got a bit more daring of a top, and one's a corset looking top," she offered, going to get them.  They had the same style of skirt and would emphasis the girl's natural figure as well.  The man vetoed the ruffled skirt on a third choice so she put it back.

"Nothing a show girl should wear on stage."

One of the girls giggled.  "Can I try this one on, Xander?"

He looked.  It was pale cream, was a bra, two thick crossing straps, then a skirt with a piece of fabric falling from the waistline.  "You can but I don't think you'll get to wear it."

"You said to make them drool and I will."

He considered it.  "Try it on."  She went to do that.  She was right, she was drool worthy in that.  He considered it.  "Fine."  She beamed and put hers on the counter with the other two.  He pointed at one so that girl went to try hers on.  He nodded so she smiled and put it back.  Dawn came out in one.  It was a black corset looking top with lace and a few sparkles to make a pattern but the front didn't close fully.  It left a small gap of flesh to tease with.  The skirt was the same straight skirt with the leg cut out.  He stared, then he tipped his head.  He took a picture with his phone and sent it to Buffy, who sent back an unhappy face.  He called her.  "You don't like it or think it's too adult?"  He listened then he nodded.  "I know what you wore, but she wants to show off her legs.  I didn't think short was good for the prom, that was homecoming."  He nodded.  "Exactly."  She went to try on the other one and he took a picture of that one because he was going to drool.  She made a moaning sound.  "So, good?"  He smiled.  "That one, Dawn.   You made Buffy think about lesbians."

"That's my sister, Xander."

"Yeah but she said you'd be hot and she'd let you date one so you wouldn't make her an aunt, ever."  She giggled, going to take that one off and put it in the pile.  "Why are you still shopping?"

"Faith's."

"You can bring Faith and find her something to make her hot enough so Dean drools."  Another girl sighed and tried on something.  He groaned, shaking his head.  He got her the black corset one and she went to try it on.  She ended up in a strapless, corset top, tulle bottom dress in disney princess blue.  It had a slight belt to help where she had no waist naturally and it covered up the bad form of her bulky hips.  "Shoes.  Today," he ordered.  "That way you can practice with the heels."  They went to do that.  "Dawn, you need hemmed," he called.

"I'm going for coffee.  Come get me when you're done shoe shopping."  They all waved and he went to get coffee, calling John.  "I found Brenda something tasteful.  She did not go for the slutty looks.  She was trying to find something she could hide weapons in and she can, as long as they're tiny."  He smiled.  "She does look beautiful, it's in a dark, tasteful color.  Nothing horrifying was bought.  Send Faith and Shea down please?"  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He hung up and got his coffee then went back there.  It was only thirty minutes from the base.  They were on Shea's bike.  "Hi, ladies."  He brought them inside.  "These two are chaperones and never went to theirs.  Faith has a date."

"Faith still needs to be able to hide weapons," Faith reminded him.

He got her two.  One was a tight fitting, lightly sequined number with a bit of a cut out between the breasts and a low riding collar holding the top up.  The other was one of Dawn's almost choices.  She moaned but went to try it on.  Shea picked out one she liked.  It was two thin straps and a puffy skirt.  He stared. "That had better have more material that's skin colored."  She waved a hand through the area.  "No. You're going to be a chaperone.  That means you have to be a bit responsible.  Also, the slutty patrol is Cleveland, not here."  He got her something in a dark green that would fit her and make her look good.  She pouted.  "Just try it on."  She went to do that.  She ended up with something more daring than not but she didn't look absolutely slutty.  In dark green so it went with her eyes.

"I'm not wearing this," Faith called.

"Let me see," Xander said, going in to help her.  She squeaked.  He gave her a look.  "Not like I haven't seen it and I'm not going to offer."  He adjusted a strap, looking at her.  "You look hot."

She looked at herself.  "I look like some high class lady."

"That's the whole purpose of the prom."  He grinned at her in the mirror. "Imagine Dean and Wes's face when they see you in this one?"

She moaned.  "But..."

He went to get something and brought it back.  "Try that instead.  Still form fitting, but you'll be able to move better in it."

She tried it on and he came in to look, nodding.  "This one makes me look smokin'," she admitted.

"Exactly.  Take Dean out to dinner that night.  Remember, we pay you too."  She smiled.  "Make it a special date, just don't have sex on the dance floor and don't have it in the bathroom of the prom."

"Sure, X.  You sure?  This is hellishly expensive for a one-time only deal."

Xander shrugged.  "Dawn's was more expensive."  She smiled at that.  "C'mon."  She shooed him out so she could change back and he put it on the slayer account as well.  Then they went to pick up shoes.  Well, Faith had to pick up shoes, Shea had a pair of heels she could wear.  The girls got back into the car and headed back to the base.  He got out with a sigh of pleasure. "Done," he told Tony.

"Should I worry about higher class manners questions?"

"Probably not.  Maybe though."  He grinned.  "No one looks like a slut.  I'm so proud."  Tony walked off laughing, going to polish his baby for a bit.

"C'mon, Faith, we're going to play with your hair for a few minutes," Dawn ordered.  Faith grumbled but let her.  She had no idea how to do her hair so it'd look sexy.  They found Wesley just back and pounced him for a hug.  "We're making Faith go as a chaperone," she said happily.

"I'm sure she'll have a lot of fun."

"You should see my dress, Wes.  I'm the goddess in it."

He smiled.  "I'd love to."  She took him up to her room to put it on for him.  He came in and blinked.  "Oh, my."  Dawn came in to fuss with her hair for her and he smiled.  "You are quite beautiful in that, Faith.  Dean will surely drool buckets."  She blushed but smiled at that compliment.  "I do believe I have something to add to it."  He went back to his apartment and came back with a small box.  "It was my mother's."  He put it around her throat, making her touch it then hug him.  "She'd appreciate a young woman wearing it for her."  He patted her on the back.  "If I can I'll find some of her hair pins for the girls.  Now, change back before you get it wrinkled."  She nodded, putting the necklace back into the box.  He went to smile at Xander.  "You did very good."

"Thanks, Wes."  He grinned.  "Only one got a slightly slutty looking dress and it's hot on her.  We'll figure out how to hide a stake or something."

"I look forward to seeing them."  He left, going back to his apartment to see if he could find his mother's hairpins.  The girls could use them.

John looked at the girls who were giddy and happy.  "I get some approval that night, ladies."

They pouted then went to drag him off for a fashion show.  Brenda got a long stare, but he nodded and smiled.  The others got nods as well.  The one slightly slutty dress got a moan but he'd deal with it later.  He went to find Xander.  "You let her buy that white one?"

"It fit, it made her look hot, and she liked it."  He gave him a look.  "She's old enough to flash some stomach and cleavage and there was worse there."  He saluted him with his coffee then finished the rest.  "We had to tone down Shea's."

"That's fine."  He clapped him on the back.  "Brenda looked stunning."

"She did.  That's why I picked out that one.  I picked out something a bit tighter but she wanted to be able to kick butt in it."  He smirked as he walked off.  "If you're going to do the tune up today's a pretty day for it."

"I can do that.  Brenda, go change and I'll teach you how to tune up a car."  She squealed and did that, coming down with her hair pulled back, in jeans and an old sweatshirt, and her sneakers.  He smiled at the practical nature of his girl, going to help her with that.

Sam found Xander where he was crashed for a while.  "Will he need a tux or a suit?"

"Tux.  She looks fantastic."  He grinned.  "I told the girls to make their crushes drool."

"I'm sure we will."  He went to tell Dean that, listening to him complain but Sam got him worked around for it.   He had to wear one once in his life.  It was now or his wedding some year.  He decided it'd be better now and went to find one that made him look good.  Suits hid the good muscles.  Sam went to get a beer.  He needed a beer.  This prom stuff was going to drive him nuts.

***

Xander and Daniel knocked on a door a few days later.  They were there to recruit.  Hopefully.  He smiled at the man who answered it.  "Eugene Tackleberry?"

"Yes?"

"DCIS Agent Harris and this is our director Daniel Jackson.  We're hoping you can help us with something."

"A local case?"

"Nope.  Recruiting," Xander said with a grin.  He let them in and went back to his recliner, sitting down with a small moan.  "Our armory is masterless."

Eugene groaned.  "You need an arms master?"

"We do," Daniel agreed.  "They'd be responsible for the maintenance, sorting, cleaning, and logging in of guns after cases."

"Plus helping the agents with any gun counts of confiscated weapons, handling the more unusual slayer weapons, including helping us sharpen swords before bad things.  You'd have to help us deal with the apocalypse vault of artillery and have a say in what went into it in he future."

"What's the downside?"

"The base is in North Dakota."  Xander leaned forward.  "After working with you a last year on the gun case in New York, I realized you do have what it takes to do the job.  I also know that you're possibly not going to want to move.  We want you or someone like you to come be our arms master.  We've went through SWAT commanders who had some good ideas but they didn't want to deal with what the agency does.  To be honest, the base is kinda small.  We're renovating right now to get more apartments.  You could live on or off base.  We also make our own bullets for the most part.  You'd be required to handle the certification for range times because we do have a small one under the armory, and for teaching the slayers and agents how to use anything they may need training on.  We do have a ballistics CSI on staff but she didn't want to work specifically in there and not handle cases so you'd have help if you needed it.  Right now I'm doing half of it and some of the ISC personnel are doing the rest of it."

"The downside is that it's in North Dakota and we'd have to move?" he asked.  Xander nodded.  "What's the pay like?"  Xander pulled out an envelope to hand to him.  He read it over then looked at him.  "That's a good salary."

Xander grinned.  "Federal standards are higher."

"Good point."  His father-in-law came in.  "Hey, Dad."  He came over and slugged him.  "Dad, not now.  These guys are federal agents."

"Howdy.  What's wrong?"

"We're offering him a job," Daniel said.  "Or someone he might recommend that would pass the same sort of standards he has."

"So no nutjobs in Montana who love their guns a bit too much," Xander said dryly.  "But the same sort of expertise with them and the same love of them."

Eugene looked at him.  "We'd have to move to North Dakota."

"They have worse winters there.  Your knees already kill you in ours."

He let him see the salary.  "I'd be responsible for the whole armory, Dad.  Picking, cleaning, making bullets, training, all of it.  Artillery, swords, crossbows, guns."

He looked at them.  "How soon does he have to let you know?  This is a big decision."

"Say, three days?" Xander suggested.  "That way if he wants to live on base we can plan to renovate his apartment first."

"No houses?" Eugene asked.

"When the president had the base renovated for us he had the older houses taken down because half of them were a health hazard.  We have the room to put more up but we haven't yet.  We've mostly focused on apartments.  There's married ones, single ones.  We're renovating a few of the extra buildings into more apartments since we're in the middle of a growth spurt."

"The housing market in town is still good," Xander told him. "Pretty low cost of living.  The schools are good.  The slayers go to the public high school.  On the back of the offer is the town's name so you can look up real estate if you wanted to."  They smiled and nodded at that.  "The base is about two miles from town.  The nearest city's a few hours away."  He stood up.  "We'll be in New York at the conference so let us know?  My cell number is on the back as well if you had questions."  They shook his hand and left.

"That's a good offer," his father-in-law assured him.  "But you'd have to move away from all your friends, the rest of the family, all that."

"I know, Dad."  He went to look it over with his wife.  She used to be a cop too.

***

Xander checked them into the convention hotel.  "Hi, Harris and Jackson, DCIS."

She found them and got them signed in, handing over keys.  "Here you are, gentlemen.  The conference sign in is on the second floor," she said with a point.  "And there's usually someone at the desk."

"Thank you," Daniel said.  He walked off with Xander in tow.  They had their single bags so that was fine.  They found the desk with very little problem.  They simply followed all the uptight suits.  "DCIS, Jackson and Harris."  Everyone in hearing stopped to stare at them.  "Yes, I brought Xander instead of Tony since we were off recruiting," he said dryly.
"Recruiting?" the head of Homeland asked.

"Armory," Xander said simply.  "There's an officer who just retired upstate we're looking at, sir."

"That's good to know.  Is he going to take it?"

"He'll let us know.  He's not sure about moving."  Daniel got them signed in, nudging Xander to take the pen.  He read then signed in.  He smiled at his former boss.  "How is Homeland, sir?"

"Less jumpy now that you're on your own, son."  Daniel laughed at that.  "I heard you were getting consolidated."

"All under our umbrella.  Jack's going to take over as my assistant director for those parts that are coming in, after he goes to shut down the unethical parts we've run into in the past."

"That's wonderful.  What about an AD for DCIS?"

Daniel shook his head.  "Still no luck."  He nodded and Xander left them alone.  "Any word on the spring issue?  Jack's been too busy to call."

"Quite a bit.  We're not sure if they know about it or not.  We do know your agency's issue does and they've been found to be a bit active.  The Egyptians have been monitoring and talking with Mr. Giles in Cleveland for a bit now."

"We suggested he go since he does have museum credentials and he had worked with their Cultural Ministry in the past," Daniel agreed.

"That's reasonable.  As for the other?"

"Jack has plans for it."

"Excellent.  Will we need to step in?"

"We think there might be some power plays to shift the hierarchy around.  The large weapons bust we had was demons stocking up to fight on the same side as us."  He shuddered.  "Exactly.  So we're expecting that sort of problem and we've told the other officers that have been started."  Xander came back.  "Settled in?"

"Yup."  He smiled at one guy watching them.  "Hi, Xander Harris, DCIS."

"Covert under CIA authority but I'm Stephen."  He shook his hand.  "DCIS?  Defense or demons?"

"Demons and all the other strange, wonderful things that happen in this world."

He smiled.  "We heard you guys had a major weapons bust."

Xander nodded, walking him off to talk to him.  "We did.  That's how we found out that the demons weren't trying to take over this spring, they were planning to help us defeat what was coming.  We shared with ATF and LA SWAT since they were so helpful taking them down."

"How would the more covert agencies get information if we needed it?"

"Call.  We're not mean.  Tony was former NCIS.  Our library is open for research calls.  Some cities have their own local offices now.  Most of our people are former officers and a lot are CSI.  If you're talking about getting into the computer system?  Call Abby and have her do something.  I don't deal with the computers except for research and reports."

He smiled.  "That makes sense.  Do you guys have outsourced access?"

"No clue.  You'd have to ask Abby.  Right now we're upgrading because they put Area 51 and NID under us."  That got a shudder.  "Someone's going to be going to look over their shoulder first thing but we had to up the computers so we're upgrading.  Abby's on the consolidation committee so she'd know how to do that.  She's our head of R&D and the labs."

"Wonderful.  So if we have a case that has demon results we can call her?"

"Call her and she might already know.  She's been busy for the last two years upgrading forensics so it's something they can use on demonic crimes.  We started by telling type and now we're getting down to individual identification.  We've got a lot of information on which type of demon puts out this type of residue or this sort of signature, and what they can or can't do, and how they're killed if necessary.  We try not to, but now and then it's unavoidable."

He nodded. "That makes sense.  I'll get our IT person to talk to her in case we need it."  Xander grinned.  "Do you guys always look this relaxed?"

"It's not a big thing until you've faced off with a seventy foot demon snake who wants to eat everyone on the planet and all you have is a rocket launcher."

The guy laughed.  "That's a good point."

"That was one of my first team cases.  Fortunately I found one on the black market the night before."  He grinned.  Daniel came over.  "Boss, he was wanting to know how the covert agencies would get info if they needed it."

"Ask."  Stephen nodded at that.  "Start with Abby or our library staff. That'll probably get you what you need to know.  If not, talk to one of the agents. We can look anything up."

"Good to know.  Will we be briefing people about this spring?"

"Most of it will be in Egypt and they already know," Xander told him.  "Locally we'll have some power shifting right before or during it.  Not a bad apocalypse but a lot of bad fighting probably."

"Like one gang taking out another?"

"It depends on the species and where they are in the hierarchy," Xander admitted.  "Some are clans, which would be more run like a gang in this situation.  Some are individuals who have lackeys, like in the mob.  Some are sources, some are service providers, and some are just annoying and in the way so they're going to fix that."

"We usually treat them as specific cultural enclaves with some specific taboos.  Not all are good, not all are bad.  Our agents fall into trouble now and then with the cultural issues. Most of them just want to be left alone and don't cause any problems."

"It's the twenty percent that do and only five of them want to deal with humans.  We still have to stop inter-species problems as well," Xander agreed.

"It sounds like you guys have an interesting case load."

"Now and then," Xander agreed.  "Some of it's fairly routine research cases.  What is this and how do we deal with it when it witnesses something.  A cold case and we think one of your things did it, what was it and can you get it now.   Something huge just moved into town, is it dangerous."  He shrugged but grinned. "We get a lot more research cases than we do field calls.  We're averaging five field cases a month per team and ten research cases a week on the floor."

"Wow."

Daniel nodded.  "My people do good work.  Most of the time other agencies give up and hand them things so they go away, but we do good work."

Xander grinned.  "Not my fault I make them nervous, boss."

"I know that."  He looked at the other agent, who was snickering.  "He can."

Xander nodded.  "But it means I get helpful agents who want me to solve very quickly."  He looked around.  "I'm going to get some coffee. Want some?"

"Please."  He let Xander go.  "Do we have a case that might need our help?"

"We have one we think has ties back to a demon group that's harboring illegal aliens.  I'm hoping not outer space aliens but just foreign nationals."

Xander came back.  "A few of the groups do move people but not all are good about it.  Some are doing it for profit and some sell them."  He handed Daniel his coffee.  "What do they look like?"

"Blue/green, edging toward blue.  Orange eyes.  One thing on their head that reminds some of us of Snorks."

Xander considered then nodded.  "If I'm right about their classification, then they're moving them for profit and edging on selling them as slaves.  I'd have to look at them to know for sure.  If you want, have someone call Tony this weekend and he'll look it up for you."  He took a sip of his coffee.  "A lot of agencies do. Or they let us have an agent for a few years then they take them back as a liaison.  ATF just did."

"That's not a bad idea.  I'll have someone call DiNozzo tonight."

"He's usually got his phone forwarded but if you get his voicemail, call Speedle or Wolfe.  Ryan's extension is 181 and I know he's got weekend call."

"Even better.  Thanks, guys."  He went to call his boss with that.  That was information everyone could use and that he could spread around.  He also told him about calling Abby about the computer integration if they needed into something faster or needed to know what the lab knew.  They were helpful for being so strange.

Xander grinned at him.  "Could be worse."

"Could be," he agreed.  He sipped his coffee then switched cups.  "You gave me your hyper boy special."

"Ooops."  He grinned.  "Sorry, boss."  He went to mingle some more.  Hopefully these guys wouldn't be scared of him like the FBI was.

Daniel shook his head, going to talk to an agency head he had met in the past.  "Sir."

"Jackson?" he demanded, turning to look at him.  "Why are you here?"

"I'm heading DCIS."

"Oh, crap."

"That's usually when they call us in," Daniel agreed dryly.  "Within the next year I'm told we'll be adding Area 51 and NID under our umbrella as well."

He shuddered.  "Better you than us."

"That's about our agency motto, yes."  He took a sip of his coffee.  The other guys laughed at that.  "It can be."

"I'm sure it is.  How is O'Neill?"

"Just fine.  We chat every few weeks.  He told me if the job was driving me insane he was going to commit me recently."  That got a few more laughs.  "Now and then the job does drive you insane.  Then I sic Xander on them and it calms down."  Xander gave him a dirty look from where he was talking to the ATF people.  "Or Tony sometimes."  He looked at them again.  "We were off recruiting for the armory."

They looked at Xander.  "He looks young," one of the few women in the room said.

"He is, but he hunted with a few slayers for about seven and a half years before he moved to DCIS."  He looked at her, grinning slightly.  "He's a good third in command.  He's done a lot to help us."

"That's good.  It sounds like you're hiring for quality."

"We are.  Or we try to."  He smirked as Xander came over.  "They still scared of you?"

"Apparently."  He rolled his eyes.  "Silly people."  He grinned.  "Hi, Xander Harris."  They all nodded.  Someone came into the room with a gun and Xander turned, throwing a knife at him, getting him in the chest.  Stephen got him with one in the stomach.  Another agent shot him.  "Damn we're good," he said dryly.

Daniel looked.  "Very.  Thank you for not coming armed."

Xander grinned. "I figured we'd have security somewhere."  He walked over to get his knife.  Then he looked outside the room.  "If you guys are going to do like he did, come on now so we can get you too."  Two more people rushed in while one headed for the door.  An agent coming in got him.  The two coming in were gotten by others.  He smiled and waved at the cops rushing in.  "We need a bag in here.  Maybe a mop too.  Some of us don't like small caliber weapons."  They groaned and went to get the coroner.  He looked at them.  "Huh.  Hey, Danny, can I have whatever caused the big hole?  We don't have one in the armory yet."

"See who has it to see what it is," he said patiently.  A few of them laughed.  "We're recruiting for the armory if the one we talked to today doesn't want it."

Xander nodded.  "Otherwise that's my fourth job.  Though it's very stress relieving since my third one is helping the slayers get ready for the prom."  That got a few more laughs and one guy waved him over so he went to look at his gun.  "Is it classified?  I haven't seen that in any of the recent gun magazines."

"No it's new and in testing."  Xander took it to check for weight and balance.  "It's not a bad gun for a hand cannon."

Xander handed it back then looked around before unhiding the ones he was wearing.  "Even got it through airport security."  The guy moaned at one.  "This is one we're testing thanks to Mac Taylor but I'm not sure if I like it.  It's got a hard pull and it's got a lot of recoil.  Plus the thing sticks at the drop of sweat."

"Ours is weighted for little recoil but it does have a hard pull."  He checked that one over.  "Who was making this?"

"One of the german ones.  We have a wide armory but for the last few months the agent guns have been from confiscated stock."

"That makes sense with what you guys captured recently."  He handed it back and Xander rehid it.  "How do you do that?"

He looked then grinned.  "Dawn did it for me.  It's basically an ignore me spell on steroids with how she talks about it."

"Can she do it for others, like people undercover?"

"It won't work on anything that's electronic or it'll break it.  Guns, mechanical things, but not electronics."

"Good to know."  He considered it.  "I'd like to talk to her."

"She's seventeen."

"Ah.  Are there demon groups who can do the same thing?"

"Yes, but some of them can see through it as well."

"Hmm.  How would you find them in LA?"

"Me, personally?  I go ask Angel to set something up.  Or Gunn."

"Angel...."

"At Angel Investigations.  He works with the slayers.  He's well connected to the non- violent demon community as well.  He and his people work out of the old Hyperion hotel."

"I know where that is.  We had a case down near there recently."

"Please, if it involves the slayers, we need to know.  Especially since one of the ones there is pregnant."

"Of course.  Especially if we think they're involved."

Xander grinned.  "They shouldn't be and they have an FBI agent watching over their shoulders as our local liaison."

"Even better.  I'll have to get with them.  That could be very handy.  Any other tricks?"

"Depends on the group.  We love the portal system.  It's basically a sheet, a crystal, and a huge space inside the sheet."  The guy moaned.  "Which makes it really easy for those transporting weapons, slaves, those things.  They even figured out to make it multi entry like the trunks in Harry Potter."

"Would the same people make them?"

"They probably could."

"I need to see them.  That could be an asset to us."

"As long as you don't bother them for bad reasons.  To them, it's business.  To them breaking into ones that've been destroyed is okay business but breaking into ones currently open isn't and is iffy business.  Most of the time they're like pawn shop owners to deal with."

"Just business oriented then.  Do they care what you do with it?"

"No.  They say that's no concern of theirs and they don't ask."

"Would they ask?"

"That puts them in the way of inter-clan politics and warfare.  They quit asking way back when because it kept getting them killed.  Most normal people don't know however.  So if the don't have a connection, most terrorist groups wouldn't know."

"And any that are religion based wouldn't want to deal with demons," he said, smiling at that.  Xander nodded.  "That is a very helpful tidbit."

"You're welcome.  We don't want the world to end for any reason or anytime that's not in spring.  Apocalypses always happen in the spring and I don't know why."  The guy laughed at that, clapping him on the back.  "They do.  This year's is in Egypt."

Daniel walked over.  "I thought you didn't bring those, Xander."

"Oops, but you know how paranoid John is."

"Uh-huh.  Unhide them.  Others wanted to know."  Xander sighed but unhid his personal arsenal and took everything off.  Daniel moaned, shaking his head.  Only Xander.

***

Daniel came in two days after the convention to find someone he didn't know in his cafeteria.  "You would be?"

"Looking for the armory."

"Why?"

Xander walked in and stared.  "Came to make sure we're safe?"

"And what you have," he agreed.

Xander nodded.  "It's fairly safe and they know I'm going to kill them if they come near it."  He got his own coffee and donut.  "C'mon.  I think I talked to one of your people.  Stephen yours?"

"Cousin agency."  He smirked.  "This doesn't worry you?"

"I knew you were here two hours ago when the wards went off."  Daniel moaned.  "I have the alarm stone.  John probably knows too.  I'm surprised none of the girls beat your ass."

"I avoided two.  One saw me but the guards called her off after I produced credentials and said I was in to talk about a case."

Xander nodded.  "Which one of the three spotted you?"

"Red hair."

"Gwen."  He nodded.  "C'mon. I need to do the morning check anyway."  He walked him that way, finding the door open.  He paused, looking around.  "Someone was into the sharp and pointy collection, Danny," he called.  He pointed at one spot.  "That's missing."  He looked at his battleaxe's spot and went to get it back from the new guy.  "Mine."  He took it back.  "It's my baby.  Only touch it with permission or to save a life."

"Sure, I get that.  It needs sharpened."

"I've got it sharpened off center so it works better with the way I swing it."  He let him see the edges.  "But yes, I do need to sharpen the bottom head."  He put it back on the wall and stepped off, looking.  "They got into the two handed swords too.  They've been rearranged."  He grimaced and walked into the artillery vault.  "Well, someone was here.  Get me a pair of wire clippers from the second drawer please?" he called.  The new guy brought him some and he squatted down, finishing his donut while he got the cover off.

"The blue wire," the new agent said.

Xander looked.  "That goes to the ground."  He cut the ones he knew and got the other blue wire last when the countdown started to go faster.  He tossed it back at him.  "Have one of the CSI get it."  He got a tape measure to measure the hole, then he called Dawn.  It was before she left for school.  "Pull the sucker back.  With the sword."  She did that.  It made a slurping, screaming noise as it was pulled backward.  Xander captured it and took the sword, staring at it.  "What did you think you were doing?"  It burbled.  "I don't care if you think this is your clan's holy sword!  You broke into DCIS and planted a bomb!"  The demon whimpered.  "No, won't work."

Dawn hung up.  "Horatio's on his way down."  She kissed him on the cheek before bouncing out.  "Slug looking earth demon tried to blow up the armory.  Xander's barely had coffee."  The girls all shuddered. That thing would be sorry.  They went to school and it was okay in their world.

Horatio walked in and looked at the bomb.  "You could have called, Xander.  I was bomb squad."

"You were?"  Horatio nodded.  "Okay.  I'll remember that.  Here, have a slug demon who wanted the sword he thought was his family clan's holy sword so he tried to blow up the armory."

"Charming."  He took the demon and the bomb.  "You should have known better.  You're lucky Xander didn't have to react."  It burbled frantically.

Speed looked up.  "Yes, that was that Xander.  You're damn lucky."  It went limp in Horatio's arms.  Speed took the bomb.  Horatio sat the demon in his chair. "We'll translate for you, H."

"Thank you.  Do we have a new armory guy?"

"Yeah, new guy outta Chicago.  One of their gun geeks that was on patrol.  The petting, cooing sort."  Horatio smiled at that.  "The guy in upstate New York recommended him.  He would've come but he didn't want to move to North Dakota."

"I was a bit wary of that myself."  He opened the form to arrest the demon and got to work with Speed translating.

***

Xander smiled at the agent.  "He's going to be sorry now."  He waved a hand.  "With the exception of earth demons...."  He grinned.  "Which I'll be fixing with concrete.  We're mostly on top of sandstone and a silica base so they can't tunnel through in many places.  There's one in the prison and we have it guarded.  We have the last one down there.  I'll pour concrete down there later."

"Others can't get these?"

"No.  His kind can't use artillery or a sword.  They've been looking for their Excalibur for centuries.  Anywhere that has a major sword collection gets one of them breaking in to take something in the right size.  We have three more down in the prison."  He looked at the armory guy.  "Hey, if I didn't introduce myself, I'm Xander."

The guy shook his head.  "Glen."  He smiled at the agent.  "New to the base?"

"Checking on their vault for other agencies."

Xander grinned.  "We're doing okay.  As far as my last check last week they were all in the proper containers.  We had to move two around a few months back.  The girls snuck in to pet the weapons."  The agent gave him an odd look.  "They got punished.  They weren't going to use it, just pet them.  Some girls like guns and Calleigh caught 'em."  He just nodded.  "She's a former ballistics CSI."

"Oh."  He nodded and walked in to look at them.  Something went across his skin and he paused.  "What is that?"

"Oops, wards."  He released them.  "Anti theft wards for the artillery.  We had to let the girls in because if there's an emergency they might need some.  They are slayers."

"Oh!"  He nodded at that.  "What would it have done to me?"

"Eaten you.  You probably wouldn't have gotten further than town before they found your mangled, chewed on corpse.  Our IDs get us in there."

Glen beamed. "That's why I have to wear it all the time, even in here."

"Yup," Xander agreed.  "Did we show you where things were?"

"Not yet."

"I'll do the tour after I've helped him."  That got a nod and he went back to checking what they had in the vault.  "We do hand make the bullets," he warned.

"I can do that."

Xander looked at the guy again.  "It looks lax but it's not.  We're relaxed, not stupid, around here."

"I can see that."  He closed a case and came out.  The itchy feeling released him.  "It's well stocked."

"Now and then we need them.  That's why it's an apocalypse vault."

"Good idea I guess.  These portals?"  Xander got one of theirs out of storage, then had to hunt for the crystal.  Glenn handed it over.  "They have to be together?"

"Yup."  He looked at Glen, who shrugged a bit.  He tried it, then got the other one.  Glen put that one back.  Xander fired it up and let him go inside it to see.  He came out whistling.  "We handed one to LA SWAT recently as well."

"Do we have a lot of these?"

"Yeah, after that last bust.  They're too helpful to destroy.  Even if they were, the demons who made it could access it."

"I can understand that."  Xander showed him how they worked on the multi-access setting and he was very happy with that thing.  "Can my agency get one of these?"

"Write a formal request to Daniel.  We do share."

"Good!"  He smirked.  "What about the gun networks you keep finding?"

"I take down the gun networks I find.  We have a few dealer clan demons who we let keep operating because they're pretty legit.  They supply hunters as well.  The ones blatantly breaking the law I get.  Well, not just me now.  The other teams get some of those now that we have Taylor and Caine."

The agent nodded.  "That makes a lot of sense."  He looked around then at him.  "How often do you have to pull out of here?"

"Every single field case we go out with whatever we feel is appropriate.  Only once was one of ours mugged and the slayer working with them got his gun back."

"Interesting.  What are you using for bullets?"  Xander led him to the gun vault.  "Spare guns?" he asked with a point.

"From the last bust.  We confiscated for spare agent guns since they hadn't been stolen.  I think that's the spare parts guns."  Glen nodded.  "These are our major bullet storage.  We keep reloads in each gun locker.  These are for grabbing and going.  Looks like Glen's going to get to help me make more wooden jacketed ones."  The agent looked them over, taking one of each with him.  He smiled.  "Anything else you guys needed to see?"

"These...wards on the fence.  What would they have done to me?"

"Mostly they're alarms.  The alarm for intruder, not harmful, went off for you.  If you had been a dangerous being or here to cause mayhem we'd have found you within minutes because every agent would've heard the alarms going off."

"Good to know.  Hidden is good."

"Hidden is and we are working on the back fence since I'm assuming you came toward that section."  That got a nod and a smirk.  "Need anything else?"

"I deal in terrorists."

"Only some agents in the FBI think I am," Xander said dryly, cracking him up.  "If you find a demon connection in them, call us and we'll probably be able to get you a local contact to ask within an hour.  We have some in most cities.  The majority are harmless and the ones that aren't generally don't want to destroy the world.  They want to rule the world."

"I can deal with that," he decided, holding out a hand.  Xander shook it.  "He's good with the guns?"

"He comes highly recommended by an officer who had the skills we wanted but he didn't want to move all the way out here.  Not that I blame him.  North Dakota is pretty far from everything."

"It is but it's pretty country."

"It is."  He nodded.  "Need to refill  your travel mug?"

"Please."  He carried it into the caf and refilled it, taking a danish on the way out.  His boss was going to be amused.  They had protections.  Good protections for the most part.  They could use a few more but they had someone to fix things if and when they happened.  Why would a slug looking demon without arms or hands want a sword?  He couldn't wait until the day he had to tell his boss a witch was trying to destroy LA.

***

Giles called Wesley's office.  "I didn't particularly like that place you sent me but the realtor handling it did have a decent one that will be suitable with some renovation."

"Congratulations.  Do you need help with the paperwork?"

"No, we're fine with it.  I've already talked to the bank and they've transferred money over.  The inspection company was a bit steep but useful.  They also told me where to look to find a decent contractor to see what we needed.  Mostly there we'll need to strip out the insulation and put on a new room as we renovate some of the rooms.  Buffy likes it as well."

"Good," Wesley agreed, waving John in.  "How much was it?  John, he just found a home for the Cleveland center."

"The girls or the Council?"

"We'll have enough room for both and we're not that far away.  With them being able to drive it'll be easier for them to head wherever for patrols since the city's officers are helping us so much to pinpoint problem areas."

"That's excellent news," John agreed.  "Did you find them a car?  I used to be a mechanic if you need the help."

"We've found a place where we can get new ones cheaply since we're a corporate structure."

"That works too," John agreed.  "By the time they're crap piles we'll be back down to only a few girls.  What did you get?"

"Cutlasses."

"They're not generally bad cars.  Middle of the road, pretty easy to maintain," he told him.  He scratched the back of his neck.  "Do your girls need help with the prom stuff?  Dawn's been going nuts since she got invited this year."

"No.  I don't believe any of ours are going.  That is apocalypse season."

"You guys don't have many of the power movers that could cause problems," Wesley told him.  "It's looking like New York, LA, Chicago, and Miami are going to have problems, Rupert."

"Ah, even better.  Well, if they want to go they can tell me."

"Ask Buffy to ask them," Wesley suggested.  "Or Caridad.  They don't really talk to you, Rupert.  Now, how soon before you have the building set up?"

"Probably about seven months for all the work Xander outlined.  I still don't see a need for a technology center."

"We've been using tracking software here to track some problematic clans and other entities," John said.  "Plus vampire patterns and a few other problem groups."  Giles moaned.  "More than a map and a good computer system would let you put the books on it for multiple research copies, plus keep a separate DVD for backup and the books securely stored away in something like the sheet portals."

"I dare say that's a lot of work," Giles said.

"Thomas has half of it on DVD already," Wesley told him.  "Including those found on probate.  That would allow someone like Sam or Willow to research on their laptops much faster since they can do a keyword search and come up with multiple entries to page through."

"Oh.  I hadn't known that."

"Thomas had the system working very well in the Caribbean office.  Within a year I think we'll have them all on a transferable media."

"It's also easier to move ten thousand DVD's than it is ten thousand books," John told him.  "Much lighter."

"I had no idea," Giles said.  "I'd like to talk to him.  The last time I called he had to stop Samuel from eating in the library."

"He tends to nibble while he researches," John admitted.  "It's a bad habit he picked up off Dawn."

"She probably picked it up off Xander and the research parties we used to have," he decided.  "The girls there are going to the prom?"

"Six of them and we'll have three people going as chaperones since the school's got teachers marrying the next day," John told him. "Faith, Shea, and Dean are going to handle things."

"Hmm.  Well, I'm sure Buffy would like pictures of Dawn's dress.  I know American girls put a lot of weight into this decision."

"Buffy's more than welcome to come help the girls with their hair and things," John assured him.

"That's even better.  I'll let her know.  Is the boy she's going with nice?"

"Fairly so," Wesley said with a small smile.  "He's a sports player but he's got a very high GPA.  He's not terribly rude or obnoxious as most teenage boys can be.  He's a bit serious and plans on going to college with his sports paying the way so he can find a good job in the future.  I think he wants to be a teacher."

"That's wonderful then.  Are they serious?"

"Not really," John said. "They're friends and she's tutoring him in something.  It's keeping the cheerleaders off him and her."

"That's fine then.  I'm sure she's told Buffy all about it.  Any other news I should hear?"

"Right now we're doing good.  All the midterm grades were good," Wesley told him.   "Brenda had excellent grades." John smiled.  "Dawn as well.  Only one C and that was in PE.  For some reason they made her take it anyway.  She had to sit out a few days due to her broken ribs from the one attack so it lowered her grade a bit."

"Excellent news.  The girls here are doing all right.  Their grades aren't too low or abnormally high."

"I got an A in physics," Rona yelled.

"Congratulations, Rona," Wesley said.

"Wesley said congratulations and I agree.  When did you get that?"

"On the last report card you had Buffy sign for you."  She leaned closer to the phone.  "John, are the girls there getting to hit the prom?"

"Yes.  Dawn's been in charge of that maneuver.  She's gotten them all dresses, hair and nail appointments. They even have their shoes already."

"Can we borrow her?"

"Of course," John agreed.  "You could also ask Buffy.  She went to hers."

"That's not a bad point.  Thanks, John."

"Welcome.  Why are you out of school?"

"Late patrol last night.  I only take afternoon classes because I need my sleep."

"That's fine then," Wesley agreed, checking the clock.  "Shouldn't you be heading out then?"

"Yes, Wesley.  Laters, guys."  She left them to their conference.

"The girls are rather more lively than I expected," Giles said.

Wesley and John both gave the phone dirty looks.  "Not really lively.  You simply didn't expect what being a full time parent was like," Wesley reminded him.  "It is a full time job. It's good I have John and Xander to help me here."

John smirked at him, nodding a bit.  "I can't imagine you going off on the girls who dated the nasty boys."

"Oh, I fear I would have shouted many things, but I was trained to shout most of them in another language.  Latin really doesn't translate to modern education needs."

Giles coughed but you could tell he was nearly laughing.  "Yes, well, those ones have been fixed.  They haven't even looked at the boys on patrol."

"Good!" John said. "Everything else going all right?"

"It's fine.  When are we moving girls to the new houses?"

"Before Easter," John told him.  "Sometime between Valentines Day and Easter.  Vienna first.  The second girl for Rome.  One's going to England.  Cho's house is being started later on since she's helping Mandy cover LA until about Easter.  We're putting her house in upper India. There's been a large population that way and it's close enough to hit Taiwan within a day if they have problems and about the same amount of time to fly to Japan."

"We were thinking Taiwan but with the politics going on we wanted her somewhere safer."

"Plus one of the former Asian Bureau watchers survived and he suggested they put her there," John added.  "He said most of the demons in the area are there. There's some traditional spirits but they're not always harmful and the priests often take care of them in Japan and China."

"That's fine, as long as she still wants to go."

"She does and a few girls want to go with her," John said.  "We also noticed that three of the seven potentials we have at the moment are that way."

"So we have an indication of future movement then."

"Not necessarily," Wesley cautioned.  "We had four come from Africa but no true outbreaks of demonic activity."

"Good point.  Where are we thinking?"

"We think there's some higher demons in India that may need to be handled before they grow egos and armies," John told him.  "That's why she's getting two of the former watchers that are now doing their field training.  If you wanted, Rome still needs a watcher, or one of the girls is going to Cambridge as a history student and she'll be watching over the collection there and at Oxford for us."

"I'll be a bit busy running things but I can see someone going to Rome."

"Gibbs will be taking over the LA route eventually with his three," John told him.  "Once Crissy ages out since she's first and Morgan will pop out a few months later."

"Interesting.  That's fine.  Is he doing all right in his training?"

"He's doing very good and he's teaching the foreign girls a lot.  He's served overseas so he's going over what would be considered proper conduct.  Your girls will be getting the same lectures in a few weeks."

"That's good news.  Some of the ones here are a bit...rowdy."

"They're teenage girls, Rupert," John told him.  "Remember Buffy at that age?"

"She wasn't quite this bad."

"She had just won a battle," Wesley told him.  "Plus she had to be more serious.  It was only her and Faith."

"Good point.  I'm sure they'll calm down as they age."

"They all do," John assured him dryly.  "Even Sammy did."

"That's good to know.  You're really letting them go to the prom?"

"Yes, it's considered an American rite of passage," Wesley said.  "A step into official adulthood as it were."

"Oh, I see.  Like a coming out dance?"

"Only for the masses instead of the rich children," Wesley said.  He rolled his eyes.

"Very well then.  Are we going to get Shea here anytime soon?  I don't think I've met her."

"No.  She's finishing the gaps in her education.  Then she wanted to take a spot on New York with her brother."

"She has one?"

"She does but he wanted a normal life and became a stock broker.  She's talked with him recently and they've figured out they can stand each other so she'll want to post herself there.  It's not a highly hot spot but there is a demonic community there that can have problems and a fluxing vamp population so she'll have some work. She'll be heading in probably a year.  Be able to spend next Christmas with her brother."

"Will any of the girls be going anywhere for the holidays?"

"We found a real parent for Amber," Wesley told him.  "She's opening a dialogue with her in the next few days.  They're the only two that really would.  Dawn may go to be with Buffy or Buffy may come here.  I'm not sure which they wanted."

"That's fine then.  Thank you for letting me know, Wesley.  Do have a good day, both of you."  He hung up and went to talk to Buffy.  She was reading a magazine in the living room.  "Have you and Dawn made any holiday plans?"

"Not yet.  I was going to sneak out and buy a turkey today when you gave me back my allowance and paycheck card so I could buy groceries."  He went to get it for her.  She smiled.  "Why?  Was Dawnie asking?"

"I asked Wesley if she had made any plans and she hasn't.  Except for the prom."

"Heard that.  Saw a picture of her dress.  She'll look very classy and nice."  She smiled.  "We have three girls here who need to go shopping for that."

"Can you handle it or would you like to pull her out?"

"I can handle it.  I did a good job with my dress," she said with a pout.

"You did look very nice," he agreed.  She beamed at that.  "Will you need anything?"

"The main shopping card."

"I'll get it from Xander."

She gave him a hug and went back to her magazine.  "What are we cooking for Thanksgiving?  Turkey and what?"

"Whatever you girls want to eat.  It's not like it's my people's holiday."

"Good point."  She called one of the other older girls who wasn't in school.  "We're going shopping for groceries and Thanksgiving."  She smiled.  "That may work."  She hung up.  "She suggested we go to one of the buffets they have at some of the hotels.  That way none of us have to drop the turkey this year.  I think you and I are the only two that can cook."

"I'll check into those."  He smiled.  "Do have fun shopping with the girls."

"Of course.  We're slayers so we can even carry the heavy bags."  He groaned.  She called her card to make sure her paycheck/allowance was on it.  It was and for the last week too.  She called Xander's phone.  "It's me.  We have four girls who need to dress up for the prom."  She beamed.  "That'll be great, Xander.  Thanks.  Who's going?"  He read down the list and the list of chaperones.  "You're getting Faith into a dress?"  He explained his methodology and she giggled.  "She'll be mortally embarrassed."  She nodded that was true.  "Good point.  Thanks, Xander."  She hung up.  "He'll send Dawn with the shopping card next weekend," she called. "Faith is going as a chaperone."

"That's probably a good idea," he decided.  "There's no telling what might happen  otherwise.  They could be attacked as yours was."

"Faith's going to be dressed up too.  Dean's going and so is Shea as chaperones."

"That's a good plan."  He went back to his office then came out to look at her.  "We don't need one here, correct?"

"I don't know.  We can ask."  She went to get the number for the school the girls went to off the bulletin board, calling in.  "Hi, this is Buffy Summers, and I needed to ask the Principal a question please.  No, nothing slayer related.  Prom related."  She was transferred over.  "Hi, Principal Nicee.  It is.  We have a few girls who want to go.  I need to know if there's a dress code and if you need more chaperones and what the girls can wear in the way of decorative weapons.  Well, most of us would probably use hair ornaments or a bodice dagger, maybe a thigh harness for a stake.  Depending on the dress."  She beamed. "Please.  Go ahead and do that.  We're going shopping next weekend.  A lot of the girls on the base are going too, that's what reminded me.  Sure, if you want one of us there as a chaperone we can do that.  I'll ask the graduated girls if they want to go since I went to mine."  She beamed.  "Even better.  Thank you."  She hung up.  "They could use a chaperone in case they're attacked or there's boyfriend/girlfriend problems.  He'll send the dress code for it with one of the girls tonight and he said any of the girls are open to chaperone.  I figured I'd do like Xander did and let the girls who hadn't went go."

"That's generous of you."

"Every girl should go to her prom," she told him.

He smiled.  "That's fine.  There's a dress code?"

"Depends on the school.  Some won't let you wear anything too showy.  Some of the ones I saw last year had bare stomachs and things."

"Do try to keep the girls tasteful, Buffy."

"I'm going to do what Xander did.  Dress up in a way that would make your crush drool.  Hot, not slutty."  She bounced off to go grocery shopping.  She was liking this driving thing and the instructor had shown her how to cut down her distraction levels.  She wasn't nearly as prone to accidents as before.  It was so cool!

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Giving of Thanks.

Buffy woke up one morning a few weeks after her birthday and moaned, holding her head.  She either had the mother of all hangovers or her time was done.  She put her head back down and closed her eyes again, taking a mental inventory of her body.  Maybe she was hung over.

Willow leaned in.  "Want some breakfast."

"Did I drink last night?"

"Yup."

"No wonder I feel like I have a hangover."  She sat up again, looking at her best friend. "I feel like crud."

"You should.  You were celebrating."  She came in to give her a hug.  "I'll put on water for tea and some toast."

"Thanks."  She got up and went to take a shower, wincing because the water hurt.  Then she went down to nibble until her stomach rebelled.

Willow watched her friend then went to talk to Morgana.  That was the purpose of a white lighter, to guide her.  "Morgana?"  She looked up from her cross stitching.  "Buffy's really worried about losing her gifts," she said quietly.

"It's a big change for her," she agreed calmly.  "You wanted to do something like a calming potion?"

She sat down, looking at her.  "I've been doing research.  There might be a way to let the girls choose to keep it," she said quietly.  Morgana hit her on the head. "Hey!"

"No.  That is tampering."

"Even if it helps?"

"Even if it helps."

Willow sighed.  "But it could help and a few of them don't want to give it up."

"What happens if it strips them all of it or if it activates the new potentials?" she countered.  She sat and sulked.  "Magic has consequences, Willow.  Ones you must be aware of.  This is one of your major problems.  You don't think through all the consequences."

She stared at her.  "What if I word it very carefully?"

"What if it still awakens the new potentials who are mere infants.  Any power into the scythe would do so."

"Beyond that, we don't have the scythe," Buffy said from the doorway.

"I want to craft a spell so those who don't want to give it up don't have to," Willow told her.

Buffy considered it.  "I don't know what I'd choose."  She walked off thinking about that. "Hi, Giles."  She gave him a hug.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm okay but Willow's talking to Morgana about doing a spell so those of us who don't want to give up being a slayer don't have to."  She looked at him.  "I don't know what I'd choose."

"You've stated numerous times you'd rather be a normal girl," he said gently.

She nodded.  "I guess."  She sighed, looking around then at him.  "I don't know what I'm going to do?"

"You're going to take a few days off to explore who you are without your gifts then you're going to come back and help the slayers who still have theirs.  After all, I do not run things very well if Xander can do them on me."

She gave him a dirty look.  "Is that why he's still running all the admin stuff?"  He rolled his eyes, going back into his office.  She followed.  "I don't know.  I might not mind going to Rome."

"They're rather uptight over there and you'd have to have a different watcher since I'm here."

"But I can do without a watcher all the time," she pointed out.  "The girl over there sounds like she could use someone who can tell others to bite them."  He smiled slightly but nodded.  "I don't know."  She sat down.  "I mean, what am I going to do for a career?  I know I'm going to work for the Council but doing what?  I don't have any skills but years as a slayer.  No business classes or anything that could help."

"You can take those," he pointed out.  "Xander did set up the college fund."

"Good point I guess but I hate doing those classes."

He smiled.  "You can provide invaluable help in the support department.  Especially with the future girls.  Your experiences as the last single slayer can help them greatly when we're down to a single one again."

"Will we be?"

He nodded.  "When the last of the mass age out we should only have one."

"Then what happens to the European houses?"

"We train the potentials who want to train with us there. They and their watchers can handle anything there.  That part of the old system I do agree with; it handled a great many situations that a single girl couldn't.  With the potentials being where they are, it'll be easy enough to move them to the new houses for training."

"We think by then DCIS won't like us anymore?"

"I think by then we might have a new director," he offered.  "The next presidential election is in two years.  Who says the next person will want Doctor Jackson there?"

"No one else seems to watch the job."

"That is a good point," he said with a smile.  "Plan on taking a trip to a spa, Buffy.  Spend a week spoiling yourself then come back refreshed and able to start over again."

She nodded.  "I guess."  She stood up.  "Thanks, Giles."

"You're welcome.  You know you can talk to me about this.  Or, um, or Faith said there's a good psychologist on the base who's dealt with combat issues and having to calm down after combat before.  It will be a similar situation for you."

She nodded.  "I might do that.  Is there any way to tell when I'll age out?"

"No.  The slayer spirit enters each of you within three days to six months after your birth.  When it finds you.  It could be at any time."

"That makes planning a vacation a problem," she said.

He nodded.  "It can."  He smiled.  "Joyce would be quite proud of you."

"Thanks.  I needed to hear that."  She went out back to think.  It was a pretty day for late November.  "Talk about Global Warming, it's nearly fifty," she said, looking around.  "Didn't Xander say they have snow?"

***

Willow looked at the demon that settled next to her.  "Hey."

"What makes you think any of us want to help you do anything, Rosenburg?"

"I'm not being selfish?  I'm trying to be better?"  She turned to look at her.  "Some of the girls want to stay slayers because it defines who they are.  They don't have much of an identity past that.  Like hunters who become hunter whoever instead of whatever their name is and that's their profession."

She considered it.  "I'll ask D'Hoffryn."

"Thank you.  I saw the scythe at the base.  I don't want to activate the potentials.  I don't want to do it for the older girls who already aged out.  I don't want to make them do it, just to give them some sort of a choice.  Girls like Buffy might not have much afterward and it sucks if she gets depressed."

"At least it's not selfish this time.  We did like the actor switch.   It was nice a unicorn went with them."  Willow moaned.  "I'll ask."  She walked off and disappeared once she was outside.  She found her boss.  "D'Hoffryn, I need advice."

"Why?  Is their broken dream that bad?"

"It was Rosenburg."  He sneered.  "She wants to make a wish to let the slayers aging out choose to stay a slayer or not.  That girls like Buffy have wrapped up their identity in it and having them being depressed is bad."

He considered it.  "It's unselfish for a change."

She nodded.  "It could get us a lot of points with the chaos people.  She said she doesn't want to activate all the new potentials."

"That's good of her but I'm not sure the scythe would let it happen."

"She said she saw the scythe on the base."

He sighed.  "Do the others know?"

"Probably not.  She met me at a bar.  I think her white lighter knows that she was thinking about it but I'd have to view back during the day to see."  She looked at him.  "What do you want me to do?"

"It's a powerful wish.  It would take warping the original calling spell on the scythe."

She grimaced.  "That's dangerous."

"Yes, it is.  You'd have to give it to those who are already past the proper age."

She nodded.  "Which she didn't want to do."

He sighed, looking at her.  "Let me talk to someone higher."  She nodded and left him to think on it.  He went to find one of the Old Ones.  One of the ones hiding in case they were arrested for the invasion in LA.  "Great One, one of my people came to me with a quandary caused by a desired wish."

"What of it?" he asked with a hand wave before eating the grape in his fingers.

"A witch who is a friend of a slayer wishes to change the calling spell to give the girls aging out the choice to stay slayers."  The Old One choked at that.  "Some may want the choice.  Some don't.  We do know that much.  We know where the scythe presently is."

He stared at him.  "What of those who are newly born?"

"We have no desire to activate more potentials.  Just give a choice to the ones who are aging out. "

"That would warp the calling spell," he said.  "It could change history."

"If we could manifest the spell so it only happened in the present?"

He considered it. "The chaos people would give much to have it done."

"That is a consideration.  It would also lead to those like Buffy staying."

"Ah, Rosenburg asked.  It's unselfish, it's a nice change from her."  He ate a nut and considered it.  "How many other slayers would want it?"

"I do not know.  The other senior girl, Faith, may."

He considered it then nodded.  "It has merit but it is dangerous and could get us hunted."

"Greatly.  Harris is involved with DCIS."  The higher one waved a hand.  "The Great Knight is not one to be messed with.  I learned that when he warped one of my girls after over a thousand years as a demon.  He did it in under two years time."

The Great One looked at him.  "He did?"

"He dated and warped Anyanka when I fired her because she was rendered human.  When I let her come back, she had compassion and could not grant wishes that she wouldn't take back.  She gave her life blocking a blow from hitting him."

"That boy is dangerous."

"He is wanted by many of the Greatest Ones.  It's said Asmodous himself wants him."

"Why?"

"He's a latent seer that is newly broken open.  The Powers do not watch him and think him useless, even after all he has done.  He's a medium. The slayer essence likes him."

The demon ate another nut then nodded.  "I can see why they would want him."

"It's said he will go after any demon that hurts a slayer on purpose to stop her from doing her job.  The current group do distinguish between those who do harm and those that simply are.  He is behind the methodology DCIS shows when they work cases."

"Interesting."  He ate another grape then waved a hand.  "It would be amusing to see it done.  Soon enough she'll be too old to be a good slayer.  Age and injury comes to them faster when they're older."

He nodded.  "Then I shall.  Thank you for your advice."

"I want to hear more if we run into that knight."

"Of course."  He left, going to look at the scythe.  "This is not the one for here."

"That one's still in lockup in LA," John said from behind him, cocking the shotgun he had been cleaning.  "Who are you?"

He looked at him.  "D'Hoffryn.  Advice was sought about a wish."

John glared.  "Why?"

"To give those aging out the choice to be free of their death sentences or not."

"No, it's not allowed.  The girls deserve a life."

"It would let them choose the manner of their life."

"They can still hunt even without their powers if they want to.  We do."

He considered it.  "That is true."  He touched the scythe.  "The power of this one is different.  The slayers on that world are all dead."  He disappeared, going to look at their scythe.  It was in a demon proof vault.  He had no idea why.  It was listed as 'to be handed over to DCIS' but hadn't been yet.  He checked on the slayer asked about.  She'd be losing her powers in a day.  He went to consider it and how to do so.  The mortal had a point.

John grabbed the phone.  "Wesley, I need you in the armory with Xander ASAP."  He hung up and called Daniel.  Then he called Giles when people started to pile in.  No answer in Cleveland.  "I was cleaning the shotguns when a demon came in.  D'Hoffryn?"

"Over wish demons," Xander said.  "And?"

"Someone's trying to make a wish so the girls could choose to stay slayers or not when they age out."

Xander nodded slowly.  "Go have her white lighter lock her up?"  Wesley went to get Dawn up so he could get there fast enough.  He looked at the scythe. "The one for this realm is in LA's evidence locker."  He ran a hand over that one.  "This one is one from the other realm.  The first one that we didn't stop the invasion during.  I saved it after the explosion took out Buffy."  He took it down and looked it over more closely then at Daniel. "I have no idea how to stop this."

"We stop her.  Have the scythe taken off world for a few days."

Xander nodded, going to talk to Dawn.  "I know you're tired."  She smiled but shrugged.  "Can you get me to Sheppard or McKay?"

"I can.  I'd have to hold it open.  I can't close it."

"It won't take that long."  She nodded, opening one for him.  He stepped through and waved a hand at the guns pointed at him.  "DCIS business and it's critical.  I need McKay or Sheppard.  Carter if they're not here and I need them now."

"Why, sir?"

"Wish demons and witches.  It's going to warp things."  McKay jogged in.  "Thank God."  He pulled him closer, holding up the scythe.  "This is not the one from our realm.  It is the thing that calls slayers.  Someone cast a wish that will end up warping the whole slayer line.  We need it safe but reachable in case of emergency and we need it away from Earth.  I don't think any wish demons can get up here."  He got a confused look.  "The wish was to activate slayers over the age of aging out if they wanted," he said quietly.  "That could mean thousands of slayers activated."  McKay shuddered.  "Exactly and this isn't fully the one they need.  It'll probably do if they try it.  That's why I need it guarded and safe.  Not destroyed but safe."

"I can keep it safe."

"Xander," Dawn called.

"Coming."  He looked at him. "Don't take it off plane.  Don't take it anywhere.  Keep it totally safe for at least the next month.  Check before you pop down next time."  He smiled then left, letting the portal close.  He gave Dawn a hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  She yawned, heading back to bed.

Xander sat down, staring at John when he came in.  "McKay has it."

"That's not a bad plan," he agreed.  "I know that one came with you.  Where's ours?"

"LA evidence locker.  They were supposed to turn it over recently but haven't gotten around to it yet."

He sighed, sitting beside him.  "It's not a bad choice."

"How many will panic and make it?" he asked.

"Good point.  I pointed out they could still hunt as hunters if they chose."  Xander nodded, resting against his shoulder.  "We'll stop it, Xander.  It's a bad idea."  Xander looked at him.  "We will."

"I shouldn't have brought it back."

"It saved you and it brought Brenda to the duty in that one world.  She was really happy you thought she was good enough."

"She's a great slayer, John.  And a good Winchester."  John smiled at that, patting him on the back.  "Buffy wants to be normal half the time when it gets really hard, but then she wants to slay other times."

"We hopefully stopped him, Xander.  Go to bed and angst there."  Xander nodded, getting up and heading back to bed.  John went to check the armory again then went to his own bed.  Five came awfully early if you didn't get to bed until two.

***

Sam woke up panting, holding his head.  "No, not now."  He sat up slowly.  "Dean!"  He came walking in.  "Vision."

"Why?"  He helped him steady himself sitting upright.  "What's going on?"

He looked at him.  A blue demon with small horns.  "A scythe.  A wish.  More slayers."

"Crap."  He called his father's phone.  No answer so he went to see him.  "Dad?" he called before walking in.

"It's four, Dean.  What?" he mumbled.

"Sammy had a vision."  John moaned but sat up, looking at him.  "A wish, the scythe, a blue demon with small horns?  A lot more slayers being called."

"We hope we canceled it out.  The scythe is with McKay."

Dean nodded.  "Aren't they near that temple of Xander's?"

"Something like that but not connected directly."

"Oh.  Okay, so we're on alert if it happens?"

John nodded.  "Basically.  It'd give the girls aging out a choice to become slayers or not.  D'Hoffryn, the blue demon, showed up earlier to look at the scythe.  The original is in LA lockup."

"Wonderful."

"We don't know what'll happen."

"We'll watch for it.  What about the vision?"

"I don't know.  It may have been too late.  We'll have to see."  Dean nodded, heading back to tell Sam while John went back to bed.  He was going to be grumpy the next morning.  Very grumpy.

***

Daniel looked at the president the next morning.  "Sir, there may be a situation coming but I'm not sure."

"What sort of situation?  Should I call in military leaders for an apocalypse discussion?"

"Someone trying to spare a slayer about to age out is trying to get the rules changed.  She's a witch and she went to a higher power to see if they could find a way to give the older girls a choice of aging out."

"That's going to be a problem?"

"Sam Winchester had a vision that said it would potentially activate any slayer that could have been called."

"So we could have hundreds of slayers suddenly."  Daniel nodded.  "All over the world?"

"All over the aging out age," he agreed.  "With that many there's no telling what'll happen."  He stretched and yawned.  "We aren't sure it will, sir, but if so someone needs to be aware it could happen."

"Can we stop this witch?"

"Someone went to.  We're not sure if we were in time."

"How do wish demons work? Do they have a higher power you could ask?"

"He was the one that came to check on the scythe that's linked to the slayers.  It's with McKay at the moment thanks to Xander and Dawn."

"Still, it might not be enough?"  Daniel shook his head.  "Shit."

"Basically.  We don't know if any will take it.  I would think some would.  I have absolutely no idea how this is going to impact things but I'm guessing at least some became agents or officers."

"Which could impact national security.  Good to know.  Thank you for the head's up.  If any do, what do they do?"

"Come to the base to get trained."

He nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Good luck."

"Thank you, sir."  He hung up and went to get some coffee.  "Sam."  Sam looked up.  "Did you see younger ones called?"

"I saw young women but no.  Some older ones as well."

"Okay.  For right now, we'll be on alert.  Almost everyone knows that you come here to train slayers."  They nodded.  "Can you handle an influx?"

"Not without housing," Xander told him.  "Cleveland either."

"Then we'll handle it.  Did you warn Angel and them?"

"No," Xander said.  "I'm waiting to see if Dawn can tell a potential before they're born for Crissy.  She's seriously worried."

Wesley shook his head.  "The slayer essence doesn't enter the child until after birth.  If it has the proper birthmark it's possible.  We can test for it at six months."

"Good.  We can do that then.  It might calm her down."  He called her. "Crissy, Xander. I have an answer on that question.  I asked Wes.  He said even if the baby's got the birthmark the essence won't enter the baby until after she's born.  The three days to six month thing, yeah.  Wes said we'll test her at six months."  He smiled. "Good girl.  Can you have Gunn or Fred call me in a little while?  Tell them there's a possible wish related issue coming.  An unselfish one but it'll create hell and havoc possibly.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at them then at Daniel.  "Are we doing a big dinner on the holiday?"

"I hope so."  He smiled, going to talk to the cook.  "We are doing a huge dinner on Thanksgiving?"

She smiled.  "I was going to ask you that."

"Please."

"If I can."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Go eat, Daniel."  He smiled but went to do as ordered.  She got back to her list of what she'd need.  With the way the slayers ate it'd be good to get extra.  Especially the pies.

***

Gunn went to wake Angel up a few hours later.  "Got a head's up from Xander."  Angel moaned, flipping onto his back to look at him.  "Willow tried to make a wish to let the girls choose to stay slayers when they age out.  Sam had a vision so we're not sure if they prevented it or not."

"Hell," he muttered.

"Basically.  There's how many that aged out without being called?"

Angel gave him a dirty look.  "Hundreds, if not thousands."

"Uh-huh."

"I feel really sorry for them.  Is Crissy okay?"

"Xander got her calmed down but we'll have to see.  She's worried she's having a future slayer."

"I don't know.  There's only been three slayers or potentials who've had kids that I know of.  Two died of it and one was Robin Woods' mother in New York.  She died not long afterward thanks to Spike.  Have Fred or Wesley look at the tracking they did."

"English said they didn't track the girls after they aged out."

"Figures."  He pulled the sheets up again.  "If it does, we'll deal with it."

"Sure.  Just a head's up."  He left, going to tell Fred to see if she could find anything.  This could be really bad or really good for the world.  He wasn't sure which yet.

***

D'Hoffryn found the scythe again.  "That's an interesting place for it."  He found what he needed to allow him to travel up there.  They had gone to a demon plane.  It had created an energy connection he could use to locate their base.  Once there the powers of Atlantis itself nurtured him and kept him safe while he looked for it.  He found it in a locked case inside a machine.  It was being tested for energy signatures.  He smiled.  "Foolish mortals.  That was created by the Old Ones so they would have a weapon to remove their rivals."  He reached through the energy barrier and felt the spell take hold.  He was in time for that one to make her choice.

Then he felt it warp.

This wasn't their scythe and the scythe called slayers that weren't what he expected.  He felt it grab into the slayer essence on the planet and merge into it to warp it toward what its original world had.  He felt more slayers being called.  It had offered it to the older ones, as he had thought it might.  It also warped how the girls were called to duty as they aged.  He groaned.  The Great Knight was going to kill all his people for this.  He retraced his steps, heading to hide.  It was the only thing he could do to save himself and his wish demons.

***

Dawn shrieked awake with a vision, screaming and crying, holding her head.  Faith rushed in, John behind her, trying to get her calmed down.  "No!"  She reached out with her powers, tapping into the Key's energy to fix it.  She would not have babies called as slayers.  The scythe on this planet came to her and she fixed it.  What she could.  She couldn't stop it totally.  They would be called but not until the minimum calling age she put in.  She panted, looking at them.  "D'Hoffryn fucked up."

John flinched at that.  "How fucked up, Dawn?"

"He gave the choice to all the slayers.  No matter the age."  She panted, looking over as Leo appeared. "I had to fix it."

"I know.  We agree.  You did good.  Let's go talk to the Council, see if they can help."  She grabbed her robe and slippers, heading with him.

John rushed over to his son's apartment.  Sammy wasn't having a vision.  Xander was.  He went in to get details from him.  "Xander!"  He shook the boy until he came out.  The boy gave him a helpless look.  "We heard D'Hoffryn botched it."

"So badly," he whispered.  "It activated them all briefly to let them have the choice.  Most decided they were serving people better this way.  They turned it down.  All but about three hundred."  John winced.  "The oldest is a grandmother," he said, sounding a bit hysterical.  "Then he goofed and it called the babies but Dawnie fixed that so they'll be called when they're fifteen, no matter what."  He gripped John's wrist.  "We have to locate them before they're attacked."

"I'll call, Xander."  He nodded.  "C'mon.  You can sleep on the couch."

"No, I can't," he said, looking miserable.  "They so screwed things.  The Powers are going to react and we'll have a major, First Evil or invasion level apocalypse for this!"

"Shh, we'll handle it.  It's what we do."  Xander nodded and went with him.

"Xander, chronicle it," Wesley yelled from his office.  "Half of all the seers we have on record got hit."

"Sam didn't," John offered.  "Why did Dawn?"

"She was needed to fix it," Wesley said grimly.  "The essence of the First Slayer liked Xander."

"She liked me so she ripped out my heart?" Xander asked.

"She thought you strange and odd, a thing she wished she had when she served."  Xander looked at him.  "We talked after the calling in Sunnydale.  For some reason it went through me.  I can only imagine it was where I had a twin sister once but she died when we were two of a fever.  She was probably a potential.  Samuel not getting it I don't understand."

"We'll see.  Write it down, Xander."  He nodded, logging onto the system to do that.

***

John found Thomas the next morning.  "We have critical accounts of what happened last night to change the slayer's calling."

The librarian looked at him.  "How critical?"

"Someone made a wish that slayers aging out be given a choice."  Thomas blindly sat down, staring at him.  "It also gave the choice to those who were past the age limit.  It initially activated them all and gave them the choice.  It gave it to the youngest ones as well but she fixed it.  The only way she could was to set it so they'd be called to service anyway."  He handed over the printout.  "Xander had it in a vision.  Dawn's vision is on there as well.  She wrote hers after getting back from the Elders Council."

"The Powers?" he asked quietly.

"Didn't respond yet," he admitted.  "I don't know why.  This could be a move that brings some balance back by drawing a worse evil.  We could be looking at another apocalypse on top of the original one."

Thomas read it over then looked at him.  "We're certain?"

"We are."

"Who cast the wish?"

"Guess.  She did it so Buffy wouldn't be destroyed when it left her."

He groaned. "The Elders have her?"

"Locked in a crystal."

"Good!"  He stood up, starting to pace.  "What do Wesley and Giles want done?"

"That's a copy for the archives," John said.  "Wesley and Giles are working on a location spell to find them all and let them know to come here."

"Oh, dear lord," he muttered.

"Yeah."  He smirked.  "Sammy didn't have a vision.  Dawn and Xander did."

"They see for different reasons."

"Good point.  We're having a meeting in about two hours.  Do whatever you need to for the archive."

"I can do that."  He went to make note in the proper format for it.  It was not a good thing.  Probably.  Having hundreds of slayers could only make things worse.

***

Giles came through the portal, letting it close behind him.  "We've gotten thirty calls so far," Giles said, sitting down in the free chair left for him.  "How many here?"

"Xander got a count in his vision.  He thinks we'll have at least a hundred-fifty more slayers called.  He's worried about the younger ones who will be called, no matter what now.  It was the only way Dawn could fix it.  Or else we'd have a lot of toddler slayers."

Giles nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Thankfully she managed to unscrew it some."  He looked at Wesley when he came in.  "How are we handling things?  And have the Powers reacted?"

"Angel went to talk to the Oracles.  They said the balance was now preserved."

"So that means we either have a worse evil coming that'll try to kill the girls again or we'll have a worse fight than the invasion," John said.

"Or some of the girls will go bad," Wesley told him.  "The Elders are going to recast it in a week to let them choose to keep it or not.  Leo thinks a lot of them won't want to keep it now that they understand.  How did they get to it where it is?"

"I asked Fred, out in LA.  She got with Abby, who got with McKay, and they said he came through the gateway following the connection once made to the plane where Xander has his temple.  They were doing energy flux studies on it and recorded the spell going off.  Fred said it not being our version of the scythe meant that it was able to be warped or else it'd be set in stone."

"It's not ours?" Giles asked.

"The one native to this plane is still in the evidence locker in LA," Wesley told him. "That one was the one that Xander picked up after the explosion in one of the wish universes Willow created."

"That shift in it allowed us to fix it slightly.  Tony got the original released to Leo so the white lighters could work on it.  How is Morgana doing?"

"She went to a wish demon at a bar.  Morgana told her why she couldn't do it.  Morgana's presently sobbing in my office with Buffy."

"Did Buffy choose to keep it?"

Giles nodded.  "For now.  If she's given a second choice we're not sure.  They're using ours to fix it?"  John nodded.  "Why did Xander bring that one back?"

"He was using it to defeat the evil things that were coming after him in the wish verses," John told him.  "In one he used it to activate a new slayer so she could fight the invasion."  Giles shuddered.  "Exactly.   This is not Xander's fault."

"He did bring it back," Giles said patiently.

"Willow cast the wish," Wesley said firmly, staring at him.  "It's not Xander's fault he won that game in Las Vegas.  That was an attempted punishment by the Powers.  They were planning on having him killed during it according to the Oracles."  Giles shuddered.  "All that was started into play by the Powers trying to fight against Xander helping the girls because they didn't want to pay attention to him.  Called him not worth watching I do believe.  Look where that got them since he's the one that made sure their plays actually worked."

"Calm down, Wesley.  There's no way anyone can blame this on Xander.  He got the scythe off world to try to keep the demons off it."  He rubbed his face with his hands.  "Beyond that, it wasn't hurting anything until Willow cast the wish.  None of the girls were bothered by it.  Brenda had been training to use it so she could train future girls to use it.  It did nothing to her."

Giles nodded.  "I realize that this is Willow's fault, Wesley, but it is not all hers.  Xander could have not brought it back."

"Considering he came out with injuries from the first wish verse that are still healing?" John asked.  "He was trying to protect his life, Giles."  Giles went pale.  "They were all for killing him in it.  It's not Xander's fault.  It's Willow's fault.  Maybe it's the Powers' fault for thinking this would keep their precious balance.  I don't know.  I don't care.  It's still not Xander's fault for picking up the scythe after Buffy was blown up in that world so he could help stop the demon invasion.  It got bad enough that they had to use a resistance against the demons.  It took them over a year to close the portal."  Giles shuddered and went more pale.  "Xander did what he had to do to survive and save lives.  End of story.  It was in his pack when he got back.  The last one could've taken it since it had him captured and bought him.  The demon who had him captive had him for over six years."  Giles got up to pace at that thought.  "Leave Xander alone.  He's not the whipping boy of the ISC."

"He's not," Wesley agreed, patting him on the hand.  "Has Sam had any visions?"

"Two.  Two of the ones called are in jail and in danger.  Daniel's not sure what we can do about it.  He did tell the president.  He warned him when Sam had the first vision."

"He had one?" Giles asked.  John nodded.  "Did you record it?"

"We sent you a copy of it," Wesley told him.  "I faxed it over personally, Rupert."

"Damn it!"

Dean leaned in.  "There's a laughing chaos God somewhere, guys.  Let's calm down and not give him any more ammunition?"

"In a week the white lighters and their council are going to try to fix it," John said.

"Good!  That'll be nice!"  He shrugged. "So?  We still have a few grannies who are now slayers."  He withdrew, going back to the phones.  McGee had set up a network of phones for DCIS to take calls from the new slayers. They had recorded over two hundred so far.  "Some of them will fade in a week," he announced.  The people answering smiled at that.  "Giles was trying to blame Xander."  He sat down at an empty seat and answered the phone.  "DCIS, slayer's desk."  He took down her information.  "Of course we will.  It'll be about a week.  We know that the reason you were given a choice may ask it of you again in a week."  He smiled.

"Exactly.  We will.  Of course, ma'am."  He smiled and took down that note as well.  "We can handle it.  Stake in the heart, yes.  They are faster so if there's a hunter near there you might want to ask them instead.  Sure.  That's a good idea and there's one near there.  It's called the Roadhouse.  Call them up and tell them that there's vamps in your town and that you took the choice to be a slayer but you've only been called for a few hours.  That you could use some help.  I'll let them know.  Sure."  He pulled out his cellphone to make that call.  "You be safe, ma'am."  He hung up and switched to his cell.  "Jo, get Ellen on the phone.  Now, Jo.  It's important."  She got her mother.

"Jo, Dean Winchester.  Something happened last night and a lot of slayers were given the choice to take the powers or not.  You'll be getting some calls from some of the newbies who have demon sensing skills.  Exactly.  I just talked to one that has at least seven vamps near her.  I told her to call you guys so you can send a hunter her way.  She's forty-eight and on crutches, Ellen.  She's not trained.  She never was trained."  He nodded.  "That's what I was hoping you'd say.  Thanks, Ellen.  Fielding these.  If you hear from any, the thing that did it will let them choose again in a week.  If not, we'll be setting up ways for them to get trained.  Yeah, later."  He hung up.  "Ellen's swearing," he told Sam.

"Not like I don't want to," Sam quipped back.  He got the next call and took down her information.  "What about the potentials?" he asked when both of them were off the calls again.

"Fifteen or sixteen," Dean said, looking at him.  "It was all Dawn could do to unwarp it."

"At least it was unwarped slightly.  Any potential paybacks?"

"D'Hoffryn did it himself.   McKay's probably swearing since he had the scythe up there for safe keeping.  Angel said the Powers were pleased that the balance would be preserved."

Sam looked at him.  "I'll be open for new apocalypses coming up."

"Me too."  They shared a look, then answered the next call.

***

Giles made the last call of the girls they knew about after the second choice.  "We're down to another fifty new that we know of."

"Dawn did a locating spell.  We have seventy-eight all over the world."  She gave him a hug and he frowned.  "I...  I decided I'd try to be normal.  It might be okay," she said quietly.  He smiled, patting her on the back.  "What are we doing about the potentials?"

"You and one of the other older girls will be going out with a watcher to find them and talk to their parents.  Wesley and Xander have been working on what to tell them."  She nodded at that.  "They figured we'd start when they're about eight.  That way they could have a slightly normal childhood."

"We got a few calls from parents," Dawn said as she bounced down the stairs and into the office.  "They saw their daughters blink into super strength mode for a minute and wondered.  Those Wesley talked to and they've got what to tell the girls and their parents, plus suggestions on basic training they can go through before they move up to our training.  Self defense classes, those things."  Buffy smiled.  "That leaves a lot for you to talk to."  She gave her a hug, smiling at the weaker hug.  "Azara said she eats a lot less now," she teased.  "The kids eat more than her now."

"I didn't eat as big of a breakfast," Buffy admitted.  "I got full after only three eggs."  She shrugged.  "I'll still have to work out to keep my figure I guess."

"Yup.  You will," Dawn teased.  "Dean can show you how."

"I'm sure he can but Faith might get jealous," she said with a smirk.

"Well, yeah, but I wasn't talking in that way.  John and the guys still do daily PT.  So do the girls that were on retrieval before."

She shook her head.  "Whole lots of work."

"Yes but they still hunt," Dawn reminded her, getting a smile.  "You can too if you want to, you just have to be more careful."

"I can do that."  She gave her a hug and frowned.  "Giles, my strength's coming back.  I don't know why."

Dawn looked up.  "I think the Powers want it this way for some reason."  Buffy glowed then faded again.  "Huh."  She pointed at a wall and Buffy punched it, sighing when it dented. "Yup, you're back."

"Why?"

"No clue.  Ask Angel to take you to the Oracles."

"I could do that.  Can you?"

"I'm wiped.  It'll be hours."

She checked the clock.  "It's only two on the east coast so he's probably still in bed.  How's Crissy doing?"

"I haven't talked to her in days."  They went to call her to check on her.  She needed more support right now with the baby coming in a few months.

Giles said a silent prayer for his sanity.  Morgana appeared.  "Buffy's powers returned?"

"The Powers decided she had to stay.  I do not know why but they did remove the powers from anyone who was unfit for battle.  I have the feeling that spring apocalypse isn't going to go as planned."

"Maybe the aliens won't show."

She giggled.  "Aliens?"  He let her see the copy of it he had been working on.  "Oh, dear."  She went to tell the Elders.  This was not good!  Giles got back to work, Buffy would come see him in a bit to feel better.

***

"Don't you dare go have a yell at them," John ordered.  Xander slumped, scowling.  "No matter how much you might like to, maybe they had a reason."

"They're having fun with their chess game."

"Have we looked for a new apocalypse yet?  We might need more girls or even older ones," Dean offered.

Xander nodded.  "I've been looking.  There's nothing in the books.  Thomas can't find anything.  Sam can't find anything online.  I've put word out that we're looking for visions dealing with the new slayers.  Nothing so far.  All Angel got from the Oracles was 'the Powers said so' and 'they have their reasons that are beyond what mortals can comprehend'."  He looked back at Dean.  "Sam Carter got chosen."

"I'm sure Jack's throwing a fit," Dean said dryly.

"Let's hope it's not NID or someone opening something," John said.

Sam looked over.  "They've tried in the past."  He went back to his searching.  "I'm still not finding anything other than general discontent with the current system, guys.  This spring we'll have some minor rioting maybe.  I don't know."  He finally put down his laptop, looking at his family.  Brenda was down there hugging John.  "We'll figure it out."

Xander nodded.  "We hope."

"We know," John corrected.  "We always figure it out.  Even if it is the day of the fight, we figure it out."

Xander nodded.  "Good point."  He looked at Brenda.  "The spare scythe goes to you."  She beamed at that.  "John and I made a practice scythe for you to train with.  You and Faith are sharing this one because some year you'll need to train another girl in how to use it."

"Yes, Xander.  Thank you."  She reached around John to give him a hug then gave John one.  "Thank you, John."

"You're welcome, Brenda.  We can make more for the other girls," he offered.

"They might try to do something to them," Xander told him.  "Or it could confuse things if we need the scythe for a later episode."  He rubbed his forehead.  "We might make scythe-like weapons for the girls but make them distinguishable."

"We can do that," John agreed.  Brenda squealed and hugged him.  He smiled.  "It's good for you girls to have a new weapon."

"Thank you."

"I can help with that," Dean agreed.  "Xander, this formal date thing?"

Xander grinned back at him.  "Every woman deserves it once in her life.  You can either take her somewhere really nice and classy or take her for a burger and make out in the car beforehand, depending on what you two decide."

Dean nodded.  "That might work for her.  Still, formal stuff?"

"She looks hot," Xander told him.  "Drool worthy hot.  I don't want her and she made me drool hot."  Dean grinned at that.  "Besides, every woman deserves the right to dress up in an expensive, spectacular dress once in her life."

"Fine.  I'll pick somewhere she'll like."

"It's in May.  You have time to choose," Sam reminded him.

Xander nodded.  "And the apocalypse is in June.  So none of the girls have to worry about it like Buffy did with the hellhounds attacking the formal gear."  All the Winchesters and Brenda gave him an odd look.  "Some guy in Sunnydale was breeding them and trained them to attack formal wear by making them watch Carrie and things.  Buffy was late to the prom because she was snapping their necks and dragging them off. Then she had to change in the bathroom.  Thankfully she had a pretty simple slip style dress and could do her own hair."  Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "We don't have that here."

"No, we don't," he agreed.  "Thankfully."

"You guys lived insane lives," Brenda said, looking awed.  Xander nodded, cracking John up.  "Did she do homecoming?"

"She did.  She and Cordy got kidnaped by demons even.  They had to quit snarking at each other to work together for a while.  That was right after the invisible girl."

John shook all over, getting up to wander off so he could find a way to take that out of his head.  That was just...wrong on many levels.  Wesley gave him a look.  "Invisible girls?"

"Yes, from what Rupert said she was picked up by the government to work for them."   He found a book on his shelf and handed it to John.  "His first Watcher diary.  It covers up to graduation."

John settled in to read it.  It couldn't have been that insane, right?

Six hours later he went to hug Xander and wanted to throttle Giles more than usual.  He had been wrong, it had been worse.

Xander grinned at his back.  "What did you read?"

"Demons, bomb in the basement."  He looked at the boy.  "You're mostly normal.  I'm proud, Xander."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks, John."  He went back to his reading.  "Should've seen it after graduation and my road trip.  When the Initiative got there."  John moaned, going to take something for his headache.  That was a worse thought.

Dean looked over.  "What did you do, dude?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know what hit him that badly.  It was the problem of the week for us."

Dean shook his head.  "You guys were insane."  Wesley handed him the journal too.  Dean settled in to read it, getting sucked into the history of the original group.  At the end he hugged Xander too.  Because yeah, the guy was more insane than they thought.  Then Dean went to bed.  He could handle things later on.

***

John looked at his new recruit class.  "Welcome to slayer training 101.  We're going to start by sorting you into people who have some sort of self-defense training and weapons training and those who have nothing.  Then we'll test you to see where you fall.  If you beat me, you move to Dean's class.  If you beat Dean, you move to the final training with Faith and Dean, and if you beat Faith you're considered patrol ready as soon as you have practice with slayer weapons and staking."  They all nodded.

"Left side for those who have no training in self defense."  They sorted themselves out and he picked the first one to test.  Sam Carter did good.  She had good hand to hand.  She got passed to Dean, who was sneakier.  She had moves he didn't but she couldn't get past Faith so she got the final lessons.  Most of the women with some training passed him.   The ones that didn't he could work on.  Dean took his group off to the side to work on common slayer tactics.  Faith worked on specific slayer skills: staking, stabbing, avoiding claws.  Those important things.

They moved them onto weapons where Xander stepped into the training.  "Ladies," he called.  "I know you're all tired.  We're going to do lunch, then we're going to come back and do weapons work.  You will be expected to learn how to use a gun, crossbow, sword of some sort, and a stake.  Faith will teach you how to stake.  One of us or the Winchesters will teach you gun work.  John and I teach crossbow and I teach sword work with Wesley if you need the more fancy footwork styles.  Then we'll take you back to the building we rented in town for you older ladies."  They nodded.  "Good.  Lunch is in the caf, which is up the hall to the right."  He pointed and they walked that way.  He walked in and found House grilling a few.  "This is Doctor House.  I know all slayers feel they don't need to baby injuries.  Tough shit," he announced firmly.  "If you're injured, you see a doc.  Even me."  He sat down to eat.

"Slayers eat a lot because you burn it off," House said.  "The girls routinely eat more than the agents by about three times.  Dig in, eat all you need to.  Any sprains, bruises, or other injuries I'll see before weapons work."  They nodded so he limped off.  He came back.  "Anyone who needs inoculations for foreign travel let us know.  Also, if you have any health concerns or allergies."  He left again.  Six came in after lunch to get an antacid and have a few bruises looked at then they went to learn their primary weapons.  House sent Chase to watch over them for severe injuries once they moved to bladed weapons.  That was a recipe for disaster.

***

Xander flopped down in Daniel's office that night.  "Some aren't so bad.  Sam's good.  Brenda's helping John's basic class a lot.   Sam's only got a few lessons before she's fully patrol capable."

"She'll be needed back in her duties within a few weeks."

"She'll make it," he promised.  That got a smile.  "Is McKay throwing a fit?"

"Still.  He wants to know how to make the gates demon proof."

"Ask Sam.  That's a science thing.  Sammy and Abby should be able to figure out something.  Or ask Dean."

"Still feel compelled to go build stuff?"

"Yes and it's almost an itch but I won't have the energy to do cases in the morning and then training in the afternoon.  Gods, Danny, we had two that nearly shot themselves with the crossbow and one that did stab herself in the leg."

Daniel smiled.  "It's like that training any group, Xander."

"Maybe but I feel like Robin in _Men in Tights_ more than I do the slayer's trainer."  He stood up with a moan.  "I'm so sore.  I'm going to soak."

"Have fun.  Be safe."

"I'm trying.  Only one nearly tripped and stabbed me."

"They'll get there, Xander.  You got the younger girls able to defend themselves."

"With help."

"You still did a lot of the early work yourself."

"True.  Thanks for the pep talk.  Tell Jack Willow's still sorry."

"I will."  He watched his agent and friend walk off then called Sam in.  She peeked around the corner of the door.  "I'm calling Jack."

She smiled.  "It's fun watching them go through what I did years ago.  One nearly stabbed me earlier."

"Xander said the same thing."  He dialed.  "Jack.  Sam's been given high praise.  She's nearly fully trained.  Xander said you'll have her back in a few weeks, once she learns how to stake and use a crossbow."

"That's good news."  Sam leaned in and waved.  He waved back.  "Having fun?"

"I'm doing a lot of helping.  There's forty-six of us here right now and another group coming in a few weeks.  Some of the women need training back at the 'this is how you duck a blow' level but most are doing okay, sir."

"Good to know.  Why are you still up?"

"I'm helping Abby in the lab.  We're going over how to demon proof the gates before they want McKay too."

"Sheppard went back to where the temple is and they said they wanted him to be their mentor and overlord because he could make them stronger.  Sheppard could help by guarding him and running defense training."

She giggled.  "McKay on a power trip.  That's such a bad image, sir."

"Very.  Sheppard agreed too."  They shared a look then she burst out laughing.  "Anyway, how long?"

"Probably a few weeks.  The other two who're military here may be sent to us too.  I'm not sure who wanted to do that."

"We had one of the generals call and ask if that would be better.  I told him to put them somewhere there was known activity and we'd help correlate.  Unless they wanted to move over.  One may, one might not."

"They both need more work.  They couldn't pass John's test so they're back in basics of self-defense.  It's going to be a while."

Daniel nodded.  "Figures," Jack agreed.  "They only got it in Basic Training?"  She nodded.  "Then that's fine.  It can help save their lives and special training shouldn't hopefully take more than a few months."

"Probably six," she said.  "John does the basics and the basics of hunting.  Dean does the more advanced hunting techniques, more slippery moves, the more underhanded moves and throws in some martial arts depending on the slayer.  Faith does 'this is how you do it as a slayer' classes that include how to fight and stake at the same time, how to use the accelerated speed and strength to your advantage, and how to use the other weapons in a battle situation.  We're going to LA on a field trip to stake some vampires in the next few weeks as soon as she can arrange it."

"That's fine," Jack said.  "Don't die on us."

"I'll try not to, sir."

"Good.  Need anything?"

"Some sanity.  A few of them are kinda ...pouty."

Daniel laughed.  "They fit well with the teenage girls.  One of them even agreed panty raiding was a good idea."

Jack shook his head.  "No, it's not."

Sam smiled.  "The girls are cute.  They're getting ready for prom this spring.  Abby's been fussing."

"That's a girl thing and she's a very girlish girl.  I'm not surprised.  Give me a head's up on when you'll be back."  She nodded.  "Danny, everything okay?"

"Mostly fine.   We've been stopping Xander from going to have a yell at the Powers."  That got a smirk.  "Dawn did once."

"I'm sure they appreciated that."

"Probably not."  He smirked.  "Anyway, she's doing fine.  I'll let her call whenever she wants.  Are you coming for Thanksgiving?  You can bring Teal'c if you want."

"I'll ask him."  He smiled.  "Thanks for the invite."

"We're doing a huge dinner, Jack.  You might as well be family around here too."  That got another smile and a nod.  "Okay, we're off to bed.  Have a better night."  He hung up.  "You need rest.  You have training at 0700."

She sighed but went to sign out of the lab and head down to town to go to bed.  This was hard training but it was fun in a lot of ways.  She was learning a lot that could help her on a team and first contact situation.

***

Xander looked at the officers who had called for his assistance.  "You needed me?" he asked, looking them over.  He looked at her.  "Newly called?" he asked.

She nodded.  "I'll be in the next training class.  I couldn't get time off for a month."

"You might be the most fit in there, we'll have a lot of secretarial and desk work type women there."  He looked her over.  "Three things you need to know beforehand.  Slayer blood will draw everything within a good sensing limit.  In North Dakota that's about ten miles.  Here, depending on the pollution, it could be a few blocks, could be farther.  Down to scrapes on the knee, paper cuts, and other girlish issues."  She blushed at that.  "We've had girls that have had to fight their way out of a mall, literally, because they scraped themselves.  Wash it clean of the blood, put on a smelly salve.  Bandage it.  Then watch your back."

She nodded.  "Secondly, slayers eat.  A lot.  Every meal.  If you're not, you're doing your body harm.  I don't care what you think you look like, you should be putting away food like a teenage boy.  At every single meal and have snacks in between, mostly sugary cravings it seems."  She nodded and smirked a bit.  "Good.  Because we have a few who're still trying to starve themselves.  House was not happy when they passed out during weapons training.  Thirdly, you have new instincts.  Use them.  If they say you're in danger, you are.  Even if you're in a crowd,  you can still be in danger and you just painted a huge ass target on your back.  Understood?"

She nodded.  "I do."

"Good.  Because we'll have to find you a watcher who can watch your back on the job."  She pointed at her partner.  He looked at him.  "How do you do with the really strange and creepy?"

"Not hardly ever."

Xander nodded.  "Someone who can watch her back needs to.  That means they'll have to hunt with her, train with her, possibly research with her, and your city might want to put her in the local office.  Whatever they called the city DCIS office."  He waved a hand.  "All the girls who have jobs are getting this same speech sometime.  So if you want, we can train you to help her.  If not, help her find someone who can and figure how to do the cop thing along with it."

"Girls?" she snorted.

Xander looked at her.  "Yeah.  Because you're born a girl and not all of you are ladies."  She gaped.  "A lady is a taught construct that has manners.  Slayers have manners, and I make sure of it, but there's plenty of times when you can't be a lady and a slayer.  Slaying is hard, nasty, messy, sweaty work and ladies would pass out."  He stared her down.  She nodded at that wisdom.  "Beyond that, the girls on base like it better than women, hey you, and ladies."  She smirked at that.  "I'm not stupid, I'm not going to argue with forty teenage girls who can break me in half."

"Good to know."  He came around the car to look at him.  "We got a report this family is doing..."

Xander held up a hand.  "Why me?"

"Because they specifically said you would be a higher power they would listen to and the local office said they could arrest but they'd still have to send to you guys for anything too bad."

Xander frowned.  "For most clans, and the ones staring out the window are in a clan structure, there is a clan leader.  In this case a clan matriarch.  We'll be getting her in because she is really the only one who can overrule any member and hand them over."  They nodded at that wisdom.  "As for having me personally called, I have a rep as being fair but hard.  I hunted the hunters with the slayers I worked with and I still do.  I'm the one they send on the bad cases basically."  He looked around.  "Is that them?"

"Yes," she said.  "We're told it's sexual abuse."

Xander nodded.  "Glad that never happened to me.  Even when mine were drunk."  He looked around.  "I want the clan matriarch," he announced.  "Now, please!  She's needed for a judgement hearing!"  A few smaller demons went running.  "DCIS business, a case!"  More went running but most of them hid.  A very old demon walked up to their cars.  "Matriarch, I am Xander Harris, DCIS agent."

"I know, cub.  Why call on me or you?"

"The demon we were told is harming his daughter said he would let this one hear his case and judge if he was in the right," the female officer said.

The matriarch looked at Xander.  "You could try to overrule me, which would cause a problem.  I believe in this case we'll come to the same decision so it's best to cover all the bases at once and if so, the child in question will need to be moved and guarded."

She nodded.  "That is reasonable.  It's good you think and hunt."

He smirked.  "I've always thought, no matter what Willow thinks."

"Yet you brought a slayer?"

Xander snickered. "You hadn't heard that Willow made a wish with D'Hoffryn that older slayers have the choice to become slayers after they age out?"  The matriarch gave him a horrified look.  "Her wish so sucked that the girls who were going to be potentials before are now going to be called."  She moaned, rubbing her head.  "This one is young but training so far.   It was her case and she called me as he asked for me specifically.  I had no idea I was counted as a higher being."

She stared at him.  "Only by those who court their own deaths.  Come, we will talk to the stupid young one."  They walked inside.  "I will hear this case with the agent, as is proper!" she announced.  "Bring him and his daughter before me, plus any other witnesses."  She sat down and waved.  "Please, sit."

Xander sat and pulled the slayer down beside him.  "Out of harm's way.  There's still harmful ones on this street and I saw obvious vampire signs," he said quietly.  The matriarch looked at him.  "Have many problems with them?"

"Much, but we have been trying to get a girl up."

"Who did you talk to?"

"Caridad said they are stretched thin with this new crisis."

Xander snorted.  "I'll talk to Caridad and we'll go handle it later."  She smiled at that.  "It is the duty and she can use the training in how to stake."  A younger female demon was shoved in by an older male.  "You called upon me to come judge this incident?  Why?"

"It is known that you are fair and understand the clan's ways."

Xander nodded.  "Most of the time.  If not I ask.  What did you do and why?  Tell me now, in front of the matriarch, so we may all judge you."

He swallowed.  "My daughter was dating a human.  That makes her not of the clan, and therefore legal to bed."

Xander snorted.  "For dating a human?" he sneered.  He stood up, walking over, watching him be scared.  "That is not a crime that would get her punished, no more than chided by the clans as I know it.  Even if it did, it would not allow you to sleep with one you helped bring into this world.   What if she bore young from it?"  The demon gave him a disgusted look.  "Your kind are fertile.  You have many young at a time if I remember Sam's lessons right."

"That is true," the matriarch agreed.  "That is also a breach of our codes, one that is punishable by death."  She looked at the child.  "How many times has he touched you, child?"

She was obviously scared, she was shivering.  "I meant no harm, just wanted to find out more about them," she whispered.

"There is very little harm in dating a human," the matriarch said firmly.  "Usually it would only get you lectured."  The girl gave her a look.  "Honestly, it is not a bad thing, especially since most humans now know."  She pulled her closer.  "How many times has he touched you wrongly and does he touch others in such a way?"  She nodded quickly.  "You will tell us and we will deal with him.  Had you come to me I would have."

"He said no one would believe me because I was wrong and strange."

Xander snorted.  "Wrong and strange is relative in demons," he reminded her.  "The same as vampires are wrong and Gorths are strange, no one would ever sleep with their daughter.  I can see some situations where brothers and sisters might, if they're raised away from all others.  If they're trained that no one would ever understand them and they have to be together to protect each other.  I can see it in situations like that even though I would still consider it wrong.  In this, he is wrong.  In humans, this is punishable by a very long time in jail."  He moved closer, stroking her cheek.  "Being curious leads to knowledge and great futures that bring honor on the clan.  Him doing this does not harm you.  Does it, Mother?"

"No.  Him doing this does not look bad on you and we will have someone help you see how wrong he was, child."  She stood up.  "Hunter, if you would please?"

Xander looked at the officers.  "She's asking me to enact their punishment instead of putting him in jail.  Since it was technically reported to you guys, you do have the right to complain or protest."

Elliot grimaced.  "He's to be killed?"

"Yes."

Olivia looked at her partner.  "We have to ask."

"Go ahead.  We can wait for ten minutes.  That way he has the chance to write out a will."  They nodded and went outside to call their boss and get his opinion.  He looked at the matriarch.  "I still have no idea why he called on me by name."

The child looked at him.  "I said you would be honest and see who was wrong."

Xander smiled and stroked her cheek again.  "Of course.  That's what I do."  The demon tried to move so Xander glared.  He tried to run and Xander pounced him into a wall, knocking him out.  "Should anyone other than the victim witness this?"

"The clan's patriarch.  I've called him," the matriarch promised.  "On my way here."

Xander smiled. "That'll work.  Does he need to make any formal passing on details?  Like a will for his belongings?"

"No, we will handle it," she assured him.  He grinned at that.  "You have no problem with this?"

Xander looked then at her.  "I would if he were innocent.  I would if it was a lesser crime.  This is horrendous.  Even if I can see it happening for a reason sometimes among family, I cannot see it with a parent."

She nodded.  "That is most reasonable."  The officers came back.  "Your decision?"

"Our boss called the little office, who talked to their overseer and he agreed that in this case the clan's justice can be carried out.  That we have no room for him in the human jails and shipping him to North Dakota could be done but if the clan insisted then so be it," she said.

The matriarch nodded.  "As soon as the patriarch gets here, he will make sure."  A bigger demon walked in.  "Not now, Howard."

Xander looked.  "We are sitting judgement."  He looked at the matriarch, who nodded.  "Can you take this young one into the kitchen so she doesn't have to watch?"

"I can."  He sniffed.  "Great Knight."

Xander bowed.  "They called for me to sit judgement on this case."

"Agreeable.  Come, Helen."  He walked her off, taking her to get something to drink and nibble on while they waited.

Xander smiled at the matriarch.  "How is the local office working out?  The ones who helped set them up will want to know."

"They are not bad.  A bit confused now and then.  As all cubs do, they will learn."  He grinned.  "Now and then the politicians still give them fits."

"As they do in Miami," he agreed. She laughed and nodded.  An older male walked in then paused and swore.  Xander smiled.  "They asked me to sit in judgement since news of him touching his daughter for dating a human got reported to SVU."

"He admitted as much," she told him.  "The humans have said we can carry out our punishment or they can send him to the prison in North Dakota."

He looked at the one on the floor.  "He tried to flee?" he asked the hunter.

"After judgement was rendered.  He claimed it was his right because she had wanted to find out more about humans."

He hummed. "Helen is a curious girl.  It bodes well for her education."

"I hope she finds a field that brings great honor and joy to the clan," he said formally.  The patriarch smiled and nodded a bit.  "He asked for me personally to sit in judgement."

He looked at the officers.  "Would that bother you?"

"In some ways but your culture's ways aren't totally ours," Elliot said.  "Not that I haven't wanted to kill a few parents like him in the past."

The patriarch nodded. "Then we will handle it in our way."  Xander walked out and came back with a sword, moving to let the patriarch pass final judgement.  Once the errant demon was awake, he did so and Xander stepped in to behead him.  Then he cut out his heart and presented it to the patriarch as was proper.  "You did study."

"I do try most of the time," he admitted.  He bowed to them before wiping his blade off.  "Where are the vampires nesting?  Since I'm here anyway and Caridad said they're too busy.  By the way, there will be a slayer moving this way around the holidays of next year.  Her name is Shea and she has a brother who works uptown."

They nodded at that knowledge.  "Let us hope she works with us," the patriarch said.

"Her parents were hunters like the Winchesters, but John has taken her in hand."

That got a smile from the matriarch.  "Then we look forward to her handling some problems."  She patted her leader's arm.  "The vampires have been roosting in that building up the street to the right.  They have drug users as well."

"I have a UV flashlight," he assured her.  "I want to hurt no humans."  He bowed again.  "C'mon, guys."  He led them out, handing Elliot the UV flashlight.  "That should make any vampire scream.  Humans complain, vampires will start to smoke."  He tossed her a set of stakes.  "Vampire slayer 101.  It goes in the heart.  The other way is to behead."  He finished cleaning his sword and put it onto his back, then he closed the trunk and they headed over there.  "Elliot, to my right please.  It's my weaker side," he said quietly.  "Olivia, slightly behind me and to the left, get any that're running.  Use whatever training you already have for hunt situations."  He looked at her.  She nodded back.  He looked at Elliot, who turned it on.

They walked past the lookout.  "Federal agent," he said firmly.  The kid screamed and ran.  Half the druggies came out.  A few fled back inside.  Elliot called it in and they went inside.  The vampires screamed and lunged but Xander got the first few.  Olivia got her first few and was in shock at the instinct, but she watched Xander's back.  Elliot's too.  She got one trying to get him.  Xander finished off the vampires an hour later and the druggies were taken out by the regular cops.  He walked out, taking his flashlight back.  It got put into his back pocket.  He nodded at Jana.  "They called me on the molestation case as a higher authority.  I'll talk to Caridad.  Watch over her for now, give her your training tapes?"  She nodded at that.  "Good."  He looked at Elliot.  "Do you want to or want to integrate?"

"I'll integrate."

Xander nodded.  "Not everyone can do it, like any combat," he said quietly.  "Find someone who can."  That got a nod.  He looked at Olivia.  "You know how to get to the base?"

"I do.  I have the trip planned out."

"Rental car," he warned.  "We're two hours from the airport."

"I have one."

"Good."  He smiled and shook her hand.  "We'll be running you ragged in a few weeks.  Remember about the food thing.  You're clearly tired so I'm guessing you tried to skip a meal.  Sit down and eat relatively soon."  She nodded.  He looked at Elliot.  "Make her eat if she gets stubborn.  They will, they'll complain about calories.  Make her eat.  Tempt her to eat.  Nibbling is fine.  Half the girls do it all day long.  They all graze like herds of wildebeest."

He nodded with a small smile.  "I'll do that.  Candy?"

"It's better if it's balanced but they all seem to have a sweet tooth."  He shook their hands and Jana's too.  "All right.  Do you need me to do a report for your boss or should I do like I usually do and write it on the flight back then fax it?"

"Do it here," Elliot told him.  They nodded and he followed them back to the station.  The boss was waiting on them.  "There was a big problem down there."

"I heard."  He looked at Xander.  "You're very young."

"I started hunting vamps at sixteen," he said simply.  That got a nod.  "I'm over support and training.  Anymore I only get to do the sword work and other weapons training.  I started out doing it all until I hired."  The captain shuddered.  "Exactly.  But we did dust a lot of vamps.  She'll need a watchery sort."

"I might have one of those."

"Good."  He smiled.  "I have no idea if the higher ups want to move her over when they hear.  That's between you guys."

"Good point."  Xander sat down at the empty desk to write his own report while he got the other team back to meet him.  He had them come in his other door.  "There's someone here from the ISC," he said quietly.  "Olivia got called."

"She's too old."

Olivia walked in to get some coffee and sugar.  "He said someone named Willow cast a wish with something named D'Hoffryn so the ones who were too old could be given a choice about taking the powers," she said, looking at them.  "Elliot's a bit freaked out.  We ran into a vampire problem at the same place as the reported molestation.  The demons decided to go with their version of justice and he's without a head."  She took a sip.  "Xander?"  He came in.  "These are John Munch and Finn Tutola."

Xander nodded, shaking their hands.  "Xander Harris, DCIS and ISC."

John coughed.  "How?"

"Willow Rosenburg wanted the slayers about to age out to be allowed a choice to keep their skills.  That some of them had this as their whole identity.  In return, D'Hoffryn granted it but it ended up giving all the possible slayers over the age of twenty-three the chance to pick up their powers or not." John shuddered.  "We had, as of this morning's count, sixty-four slayers that need training.  We have forty on base right now.  We had a few who decided to test their new powers and the first few days of training by going to a demon bar."  Finn moaned.  Olivia too.  "Exactly.  House was not pleased."  He sighed.  "Anyway, she'll need a watcher sort to watch her back.  We'll be having another girl moving this way late next year to be with her brother.  She needs to finish her training.  Olivia will need to do her training and figure out where the training she already has can come in handy.  Her partner helped us take out some vampires earlier and figured out he wasn't comfortable with it."

John nodded.  "What about the local office?"

"There's a chance the higher ups might want to move her if they know.  That's between her and them.  She'll still need a watcher sort and we're still training watchers."  That got a nod.  "I asked Jana to share her tapes from the demonology classes with her.  We're working on putting all the books on CD and DVD for easier searching.  They'd have a copy of those.  But someone has to be able to watch her back when it comes to demon things."

"If she needs us, she'll call," Finn said.

John looked at him.  "This isn't arresting.  When you hunt, it's like deer hunting. You're going to kill the things that're hunting people."

"And other demons," Xander agreed.  "There's plenty of harmless species, plenty that're peaceful.  Vampires, unless they make a conscious decision to not hunt, aren't.  That's her main job.  That and to stop any she finds causing problems by hunting others.  There's going to be lots of demons who can feel what she is and will be scared of her because she's a slayer now.  That's a fact of life, but vampires will come for her."  He looked at the boss.  "Any blood, from papercut on up, can bring them after her.  She needs to rinse it off immediately, salve it with something to cover the blood scent, and then bandage it.  If she's got more than a good scratch or scrape, I'd say have someone who can fix it.  Most slayers don't want to admit they're hurt.   Like her side."  He pulled her over to look.  She swatted so he pinched a nerve bundle, making her grunt in pain.  "Stop it.  You're endangering them."  He looked it over.  "That could use a stitch or six, Olivia."  He let her go.

"What about periods?"

"We put all the younger girls on birth control with their first one.  It's safer for them and us."

She gaped.  "What if the older ones want kids?"

"Then they need to take security precautions."  He pointed.  "Half-demon."  She looked then whimpered.  He looked out there.  Then he called out in the most common demon language.  The demon gave him a dirty look.  "Now," he ordered.  It came in.  "How many are here?"

"Six, seven."

"Any coming for her?"

"Two left before they could," he admitted.

"Good.  I like that.  If you hear of one will you tell her?"  He shook his head.  "Even without having to betray who?"

"That I might do if there's a reward."

"I'll see what I can do if it comes up," the captain said.

The demon sneered at Xander.  "There's already a hunt order for the new ones."

"She'll be protected," Xander assured him. The demon sneered as he walked off.  He looked at her.  "Thought I was kidding?"  She nodded.  He smirked and shook his head.  "Two of the girls on base had to fight their way out of the Gap one day thanks to a scraped arm."  She moaned.  "Be a bit more paranoid and cautious."

"I can help her with that," John promised.

"Good."  He smiled.  "You obviously have some sort of a clue."

"Just a bit," he said dryly, moving his collar.  "An ex.  That's why I divorced her."

"So she was a blood sucking bitch for real instead of a figurative one?" Xander asked with a  grin.

"Yeah, she was.  You good?"

"I'm fine.  I did the work for years before Sunnydale caved in."  He looked at her.  "We'll be seeing you soon on the base for training."  She nodded.  "Words of wisdom?  Self defense all morning, weapons all afternoon."  She groaned.  He nodded.  "Demonology tapes to go over at night when you're back at the temporary apartments."

"I'll start doing exercises again."

"The guys who train with me are a father and two sons team.  The father's a retired Marine.  Might be a good idea."

"I can do that."

He grinned.  "Good."  He went to finish his report then handed it in.  "Here you go, Captain.  If you need us, I wrote my cellphone number on the back."  That got a nod and he shook their hands.  "Be safe, Olivia."  He left, going to head back to the airport.  He called Daniel and forwarded it once he was on the plane.  "Boss, incoming report from up here and why, plus the vampire count with the new slayer called.  I left it up to her to yell at the higher ups if they tried to move her to the local office.  That's for her to decide."  He leaned back.  "It's fine.  I emailed it."  Daniel got into it and skimmed it.

"They requested.  The local officers agreed it was fine."  The pilot gave him a look so he buckled up and nodded.  The pilot shut the door and taxied them out to the runway.  "Okay, we know we have at least one new one in town and we need to listen for a plan to take out the new ones. The janitor was a half demon and he said there was one. I gave her the three main standard warnings, talked to her partner about the watcher issue, and some of her team may be able to fill in.  We'll have to see.  SVU.  Benson."  He smiled.  "She seemed pretty decent but a bit uptight.  Then again, her job is one of the shittyest there is.  She has to listen to sickos who hurt others for their own pleasure.  Exactly.  Why am I diverting to DC?  I can do that.  Does the pilot know?  Are we heading to DC?" he called.

"Yes, sir," came over the intercom.  "We're picking up then heading to base."

"That'll work.  Thank you."  He went back to the phone.  "We are.  Should be about an hour if I remember right."  He grinned. "Sure.  If I can find some or you call him to bring some, Danny.  Good for me.  How did weapons class go?"  He winced at the injuries.  "Poor Faith.  Sure, I'm on my way now.  We're just now climbing.  I've got to call Caridad to see what the problem was.  They called for a slayer and none came.  She said they were too busy.  Sure."  He hung up and called there.  "Caridad, why couldn't you send a slayer to New York?  You could've called us."  She listed the reasons.

"Tell Giles he's an idiot, I just dusted thirty with the newest slayer called up here."  She repeated that verbatim and Giles complained.  "Also, tell him that the demons did report abuse to the officers so that's why I was up there.  The new slayer there is coming out for training in a few weeks.  It shocked the hell out of her when she staked her first one but we were taking out a nest with her partner backing us up.  Yes, they need another one.  Shea's going to be moved up there late next year when she finishes her training.  She's got family there.  Yup.  There's also a plot to hurt the newest ones called.  The demon janitor warned her.  So we're set on that end but they could probably use one to clean out a few other nests.  Call Jana and Pearl then, Caridad."

He settled in more comfortably when they leveled out.  "Yes, I'm sure.  If we have to, I'll send one of ours," he decided.  "You can tell Giles that too.  That and Wes needs to know where he's sending the girls right now.  Because Wes is over patrols, Caridad.  Are you picking up bad Buffy habits?"  She gave him a sullen answer.  "Caridad, chocolate cures that," he said bluntly.  "Have some and some midol."  He hung up.  Some days he wasn't sure why he put up with slayers.

***

Xander drove onto the base, letting the profiler get out with his bag and the bag of treats for Daniel.  "We're back!" he shouted as he walked.  Glen came out of the armory with something for him to look at.  He tested it then nodded.  "Check with Faith or Brenda.  Looks good to me."  He beamed and went to do that.  He walked him inside, running into the boss.  "Glen was working on the training scythe's handle.  I told him to let Faith and Brenda check it."  Daniel gave him an odd look.  "What?"  He looked at himself then at him.  "What did I do wrong now?" he sighed.

"You went hunting in the middle of a case?"

"Let me get out of the way," their profiler said, heading for the squad room.

"They reported the problem.  Caridad hadn't sent anyone.  I was done with the case except for the report.  There was a nest and a lot of little kids, Daniel.  What did you want me to do, ignore it?"

"You still went hunting in the middle of a case.  You know better, Xander.  And Giles wants to talk to you too."

Xander sighed, pinching himself until he woke up with a gasp on the plane.  "I hate nightmares."

"About what?" Reid asked.

"Daniel getting onto me about having to take out a nest after I had the last case done, all but the report.  Did I call Caridad?"

"Not since I got on."

"I did that before we picked you up."  He rubbed his forehead.  Then he called the base.  "Hey, Dean.  We're about an hour or so from landing.  Anything I should pick up on the way back?"  He listened.  "What now?" he complained.  He sighed, rubbing his forehead again.  Reid held up the bottle of advil in his bag, getting a smile but a head shake.  "What for?"  He listened.  "It was a nest, there were kids, Dean.  They tried to get a slayer and Caridad didn't."  He groaned, rubbing his head again.  "You know what, we'll talk when I get back.  You can all yell at me once again."  He hung up and thought about calling someone else.  He decided to sulk for a bit.  "When we get back, looks like that was a premonition."

"I'll run and hide."

"Thanks."  He grinned.  "I have no idea what's wrong with them now but I'm not liking this."  He tipped his seat back and let his mind drift again.  Whoever was playing these power games had stepped up their game and he was not happy.  "Why are you coming out?  Case?  Training?"

"Daniel called for me."

"Daniel told me you had called."

Reid looked at him.  "You think it's a spell?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "It's possible.  If so, just stay out of the way for a bit."

"I can do that."  He went back to reading.  "Hopefully it's easy to cure."

"Yeah, hopefully."

***

Xander walked into the armory and picked up his axe.

"Oh, no, you are not taking our property," Daniel said as he stomped in after him.

Xander stared at him.  "This isn't DCIS property, Daniel.  I brought the axe in.  It's my axe.  I used it back in Sunnydale."  He moved closer to him.  "For that matter, half the stuff in here I could claim since I made it."  Daniel went pale.  "I have no idea who in the hell you are, but Danny Jackson knew that."

"I am him and you don't have that right, Harris."

Xander hauled off and hit him.  "Really?"  He rubbed his hand.  "You're so sure you're him?"  The man gooped up.  Xander hummed.  "Cute.  Really."  Horatio leaned in.  "How long has been acting funny?"

"What is going on?"

"That was pretending to be Daniel."

Horatio looked then at him.  "What?"

Xander used a sword to pick up some of the goop.  "This?"

"Um...  Still nothing there, Xander."

Xander looked at Glen, who shrugged.  "Do we have a frequency generator?"

"In the lab."

"Thanks."  He took his axe with him.

"That is DCIS property," Tony said firmly, trying to take it.

"Considering it was in my closet until a few months back, no it's not.  I had it in Sunnydale."  Tony gooped up.  He looked at Horatio, who apparently didn't see anything.  He headed up to the lab.  "Hi, Abby.  Stay in there."

"That's DCIS property, Xander."  He turned and hit her, making her turn too.

"No, it's not."  He set it on the table and found the frequency generator.  He set it just above human hearing and hooked up the PA to it.  It squealed, everyone clapped their hands over their ears and most everyone turned back to goo.  He turned it off and waited.  Danny Messer came rushing in.  "Are you you?"

"What the hell was that?"

"Shut up!" Xander yelled back.  "Are you human?"

"Of course!"  He gave him a shove.  "What the hell was that?"

"How many people just turned to goop, Danny?"

"What?" he asked.  He pointed at the goop that had been Abby.  He looked then frowned.  "That is goop."

"They went to goop when you corrected them on something and with the high-pitched noise.  Daniel started it."

"Crap," he muttered.  "There's a lot of us missing then."

"Yeah, a whole lot."  They shared a look.  "Get everyone else.  I'm pretty sure Dean was affected after our talk earlier on the plane."  He nodded, Xander grabbed his axe and walked out with it.  John tried to stop him. "You going to be a goop person too?"

"No.  I want to know what's going on."

"Me too.  That's what I'm planning on doing.  Right now, I'm a bit pissed though."  John backed up.  "Thank you.  High-pitched noises and correcting them when they're wrong seem to turn them back.  I want to know who replaced them."  He walked off to the security office, finding goop in there too.  He called Danny's desk.  "Are you, me, and John the only three left?"  He listened.  "How do I work the tape system in security?"  He nodded, doing that.  It rewound and he watched as someone who was probably supposed to be Jack walked in.  "They got him way wrong."  He watched as a van pulled up.  He took down the plates and description then kept going.  He wrote down the names of those being changed over.  Danny walked in.  "Can you copy this for evidence?"

"Sure."  He came over to do that for him.  "What's that?"

"The van the not-Jack was using to kidnap our people."  He looked at him.  "I didn't see Sam Carter."

"I haven't seen her at all."

"Cool.  That might help."  He went to find her in the range.  "Sam!"  Both looked over.  "Carter.  A not-Jack just took a bunch of people and replaced them with things that turned to goo when a high-pitched noise or the truth being pushed on them when they're wrong."  She turned to goo.  "Not good."

Sammy looked then at him.  "What the hell?"

"No fucking clue," he said dryly.  "Dean was one."  He walked off shaking his head.  He found Sheppard stomping in.  "Hold up.  Tell me a lie."

"Why?" he asked, looking confused.  Xander pointed at the goo.  "Oh, okay.  I guess.  I'm madly in love with O'Neill."

"No, you're not."  He stayed solid.  The one helping McKay roll in a cart didn't.

"I'm guessing that's why," Sheppard said.

"Yup, got Jackson."  He beamed.  "Got Tony too.  McKay, do you know anyone working on things like that at NID or Area 51?  They came in with a not-Jack that was about four or five years too young."

"There is one.  I thought he got fired years ago however.  Why?"  Xander pointed at the goo.  "I saw."

"Abby was one.  Daniel.  Tony, most of the crew.  Dean."  McKay groaned.  "Okay, go take over the lab.  I know high, shrieking noises turn them.  Figure out how to search for others.  Sheppard, help Messer around here please while I hunt them down?"  He walked off with his axe.  They apparently wanted it.  They'd get it all right.  John stopped him from getting into a car.  "What?  Do we know something?"

"Yes, this isn't a normal thing.  This is Trickster at work."

"McKay said he knew someone who was working on something like this."

John moaned.  "Figured.  Why here and why them, Xander?"

Xander stared.  "We have another power player trying things, John.  That's why we're consolidating."

"Aw, shit," he muttered.

"I'm thinking they requested it or manipulated into it."

"Wonderful."  He shuddered.  "Now what?"

"McKay and Sheppard are here.  McKay is taking over the lab.  Messer passed so far.  Sammy did too.  He was in the range.  I'm going to ask the state troopers if they can track the van for us.   I'll call when I'm done with them."  John nodded so he climbed in and headed off.  The state boys all gave the axe a funny look.  "We had someone come onto base to replace some of our agents with fakes.  They all seem to hate me having my axe."  They all shuddered.  He handed over the papers he had made notes on.  "This van was on base and took them.  These are the people we know they replaced.  Can you help?"

One of the guys got into the system to look up the van.  "Registered to Diascorp.  It's out of Oneada.  'Bout three hours from here, Agent Harris."

Xander nodded.  "Where?"  They gave him an address.  "Thanks.  We have people on base but I'm sure they're basically in lockdown.  If you see any of us, we go to goo in the face of correcting a lie they're giving or at high pitched squealy noises."  That got a nod.  "Hopefully I'll have them back by tonight."

"Sure, good luck," he said.  "Want us to call our guys that way?"

"Who knows if they got them or not."

"Good point."  He shook his hand. "Happy hunting.  It's a beautiful axe."

"Thanks.  She's helped me through a lot of hunts since Sunnydale."  He walked off, not noticing that three of the officers turned to goo.  Their boss did and had one of the guys scrape them up and added them to the list.

***

Xander found where they had the people stored.  It had only taken him three hours.  He was exhausted.  He was hungry.  He was so pissed that they had taken his friends.  He pulled something off his wrist, getting one of the base's hunting half-hellhounds.  He stared at it and it bowed to him.  He smiled and pointed.  "They have the agents and some of the girls.  Help me hunt?  Can you find the not people?"  It yipped quietly.  "Then let's hunt."  They moved in together.  The dog got a few of the not-people.  Xander got another one.  They didn't bleed.  That was amusing.  The one that did he knocked out.  The hellhound sniffed then took off running.  Xander watched and followed, finding the room they mixed the goop in.  He shut it down by throwing a garlic grenade into the mix.  He wasn't sure if it'd stop it but it'd stink and they'd be able to tell them.  Plus the concussive force was enough to tip some of them over.  He heard an alarm start to go off.

"Find the agents, girl."  She sniffed and howled, then shook her head.  "No, not here?"  She shook her head.  He went to check where he thought they had been.  Not there.  The dog found a trail and he followed her down to the underground caverns.  More people tried to stop him but he got them.  Even if he did wince when he cut into Tony, who wasn't Tony, that was fine.  They found them and he walked in.  "Fucking hell, boss.  You're as bad as I am."  The dog growled at him.  "Me?"  It snapped at Danny, who didn't bleed.  "Really?"  The dog pointed out the ones who were.  Xander tested the rest for blood flow.  None.  He left them tied up there and the other agents headed with him.  "Find the boss, girl."  She sniffed then gave him a pitiful look.

"They moved a load an hour ago," Horatio said.  "Why do you have your axe?"

"They all seemed to want it to stay at DCIS.  I figured it'd be a clue if they tried to get it back.  Any idea where?"

"No.  Tony was there."  He looked around.  "Mac, do you still have GPS on Don?"

"I do."  He called the base.  "Danny, good.  Can you call up my computer and the GPS chip I have on Don?"  He listened then nodded.  "Where is that on the map?"  He grimaced.  "Where is that?"

Xander took the phone.  "Where?"  He listened then nodded.  "Got it."  He hung up and tossed the phone back.  "Those who can, go back to base.  I'm heading into the woods."  He grabbed the dog's collar.  "Take me too?"

"We can help," Mac ordered.

"You're injured, you were just taken hostage.  Get someone here to lock down the factory and stop them, Mac.  We need that more.  The power player trying to get us is doing this."  He and the dog disappeared.  He looked and found Horatio with him.  "Sure."  He handed over his gun and spare clip.  "Have fun. The clones don't bleed."  He looked at the dog.  "Track them."  The dog sniffed then hurried off.  He jogged after her.  Horatio was behind him and kept up pretty well.  A mile later and he was falling behind.  He whistled and the dog slowed down so Horatio could catch up.  He grinned.  "Out of shape?" he panted.

"Slightly."  They kept going and found the first guard.  Xander snuck up on him and Horatio stepped into the open.  Tony raised his gun.  "Shoot me and I trash your movies, DiNozzo."

Tony lowered his gun.  "Horatio?  It is you?"

Xander popped out to nick him.  "He's bleeding, he's human."

"Xander!"  He gave him a hug.  "Danny, Horatio and Xander are here!"

Danny came out.  "How long have you been tracking us?"

"Three hours."

"Where are we?"

"About ten miles north of any given city," Xander admitted.  "We're up by the border, boss."  He grinned sweetly.  "How did you like the clones?"

"I loathe those things," Tony said.

"They all wanted my axe," Xander told him.  He looked at Danny.  "Are you going to yell at me because I helped a newly called slayer take down a nest after that case was done?"

"No.  You know me better than that."  He gave him a hug.  "He did?"

"Yeah.  Tried to fire me too."

"I'll fix it when we get back.   Is Abby there or with the other group?"

"Abby was with our group," Horatio said.  "Gibbs too."

"They had me pick up Spenser Reid for some reason,"  Xander said.  "He said you called him."

"Crap," he muttered.  "Whoever this person is he's good."

"Sheppard and McKay just happened to show up.  I put them in charge," Xander said.  Daniel smirked.  "We should get back."  He checked the GPS on his watch then pointed.  "Six miles that way to the nearest village."

"You have car, right?" Tony asked.

"We grabbed onto the dog," Horatio said grimly, looking at the dog.  "You are very good, girl.  You deserve a treat when we get home."

She whined at Xander.  "No, you can't eat the unicorns, but you can have a steak."  She yipped happily and wagged her tail.  "Are we missing anyone?"

"We have others on guard," Daniel said, whistling the cadence he had set.  The others came.  "We have to find a way home, people."

"I left the guys in that section to bust the factory," Xander told them.  "Horatio grabbed on when I came to do this part."

Daniel looked at him but Gibbs smacked him on the head.  "Teams do better than single people, Harris."

Xander nicked him to make sure he bled too.  "Huh, you are human."  He called John on the way out of the forest.  "We're safe.  I think I have the rest of them.  We are at..."  He read off he coordinates.  "Heading south toward the road.  Please.  About twenty and one of the dogs.  No, Dean was at the other one, John.  I saw him.  Thanks, tell Sheppard to send us cars?"  He grinned.  "That'll work."  He hung up.  "He's telling Sheppard and Messer.  Danny was the only one who didn't bitch at me that my axe is DCIS property.  That's how I found out they went to goo.  That and shrieky noises."

"We'll figure that out later," Daniel decided.  "McKay must have already set up a test."  He looked around.  "Sam?"  She looked over.  "Scout ahead, please?"  She nodded, heading to do that.  Gibbs gave him a look.  "She served on the same team I did."

"I know what you used to do.  I came out on that double rape case."

"I was off on a treaty then.  Did you get them?"

"With prejudice.  One jumped down the elevator shaft instead of going to jail."

"Pity."

"Glad I wasn't on clean up," Xander said.

"Me too," Gibbs agreed.  "Thirty stories later."  Daniel shuddered.  "Yes, the main shaft."

"Poor maintenance guys."  They found Sam staring around.  "Demons?"

"Yeah."

Xander looked then groaned.  "Bad demons.  Just what we need."  He nodded at her.  "Take the gun from Horatio.  I was carrying blessed silver."  He switched with her.  When the demons attacked, they led the fight while the others guarded the rest of them.  The people frisking had missed weapons and guns.  Xander finally had enough and gutted one then stood over him.  "Who sent you?"  It babbled.  He killed it and moved on. "We've got a Higher on our tails."  He kicked the next one at Sam, letting her get it, then ducked a blow and took out the last one.  He looked around.  "I can hear you," he called.  Buffy came out of nowhere.  He frowned.  "Tell me a lie."

"Huh?" she asked.  "Dawnie sent me.   Quit playing games, Xander.  She's tired."  Xander stared at her so she huffed.  "Fine, I'm ten."

"No, you're not."  She went to goo.  "Hmm."  He went to check for the portal.  "Dawn?"  She yawned, staring at him.  "That's interesting.  Not your normal portal."  She went to goo and the portal stayed up.  "Danny, can we have this one too?"  He came over to confiscate it and they finally made it to the road.  Sam was going over the portal generator.  The state cops had vans waiting on them.  Xander grinned.  "Hi, guys.  You're human, right?"  They all nodded.  "We're sure?"

"Yes, sir, we had one turn to goop earlier.  We called the base and they told us to do a finger stick to prove blood."  He did one.  Xander beamed.  "Let's get you guys back to the other site.  Is that a bomb or something dangerous?"

"Portal generator," Sam said.  "We're working on it."

"That's fine then."  They got them back to the factory, which was now crawling with FBI agents and their people.  Plus a loudly complaining handcuffed Dean.  Daniel went to release him and have a word with the agent in charge when he complained.  He moaned but said he'd make note of it.  They'd figure that part out later.  They got them back to the base and everyone went to check things and make sure the goo had been cleaned up.

Horatio looked at Xander's back then at Daniel, who went to hug Xander and say something in his ear, getting a laugh.  "Go to bed, people," Daniel ordered.  "Xander, you can't sleep with your axe."

"I don't know why they wanted it yet."

"Probably because it was in Sunnydale."  They went to check on everyone.  John had checked on the slayers already.  He went to his office, finding Sheppard.  "Still you?"

"Yeah, I'm still me.  What happened?"  Daniel wrote out a quick summary and handed it over.  "Charming.  Think they can be used for dangerous and undercover situations?"

"Might.  I don't know.  The FBI took it over.  I'm too damn tired to deal with it."  He looked then called the lab.  "Sam, do not stay up all night to play with the portal generator and Abby or McKay."  He hung up.  "If I know John Winchester, they still have training in the morning."

Sheppard shook his head. "You guys are insane."

"Well, yeah, and Xander has a bad hero complex sometimes too.  Spenser?"  He came in.  "I called?"  He nodded.  "Why did I call?"

"The six cases on Ryan's desk that I've already gotten into.  They're human, they're not mystical, so they're ours."  He grinned.  "Xander's hero complex is a deep need to be seen as competent and able to do things since no one's ever seen him that way.  He has to prove it to himself and he can only do that through validation.  The more you tell him, the less it'll get unless there's an emergency then he knows he can basically trust a few people but not everyone."  He went back to his desk.  He loved profiling Xander.  With the possessions and the AU universes he had been through, plus the curses he was a lot of fun to profile.  "Oh, Daniel?"  He stuck his head into the squad room.  "The head of Homeland asked me to profile Xander.  Which I have to say is the most fun I've had in years."

"Why?"

"Don't know but I think the President wanted it."

"Think we can get the high-pitched noise he used to hit DC?" Sheppard asked over Daniel's shoulder.

"Hopefully," Spenser said with a grin.  "I think we can arrange that."  He called Garcia.  "I need a short burst of sound all over DC, all over the US if you can manage to have it done.  What frequency?"  Daniel called the lab and had them tell him.  Abby sent it back.  He sent it to her with why in an email.  She arranged it and they all winced as the shriek went across as an 'emergency broadcast system required weekly test'.  None of them turned to goo so it was all good.

"Can I have the profile you did on him?" Daniel asked.

"Sure.  It's in my bag."  He dug around until he found it then tossed it over.  "I didn't hand it over yet.  Hotch was worried about why they wanted it too.  So when you called it was a good time."  He grinned and got back to work.  "I don't know what this person is trying to do."

John came over to look.  "That's Norse."

"It is?"

"Yeah.  It is."  He looked at Daniel, who came over to look and translate it for him.  He didn't need to know it was Ancient and it was trying to call back one of them to take over the planet with him.  Someone was delusional but had a clue.  "He might be in a military databank."

"I saw a lot of that on my last posting," Daniel told him.

Spenser looked at him. "Garcia found out what you used to do, Daniel."  Daniel moaned.  "You too, Sheppard."  He went back to it.  "Delusional?"

"Yeah, calling on a supposed god to take over the world with him."

"I'll cross-check anyone who came out of there."

"That's fine.  Find a bed when you're tired, Spenser," Daniel said with a pat on the shoulder for him.  He went to call the white house.  "Sir," he said when the got the VP.  "Is the president up?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Many."  The VP went to get him.  "Sir."

"Jackson, what's wrong?"

He held up the profile.  "Also with the fake people."

"Fake... that burst of noise?" he demanded.

"Turned a lot of people back to the goo they were originally.  The FBI has that since they came after us in a very bad way.  Especially after Xander and his battle axe."  The president moaned.  "You had our profiler profile Agent Harris, sir?"

He looked at him.  "The boy makes others nervous."

"Only when you're trying to hurt innocents."

"Which could be construed as any war."

"He's not like that."  He looked at his computer then sent over a sealed file. "The password is the one Jack uses for coded messages."  He got into it and read it then looked at him in a horrified way.  "As I said, Xander's not the dangerous one.  He's no more dangerous than I am or Jack is, sir.  Though, our profiler did say he had a lot of fun profiling him for you."

"I asked one of the other units, not yours."

"Spenser, why did you get it?"

"They were overloaded with a spree killer," Spenser called back.  "One in Omaha."

"He said they were overloaded with a spree killer in Omaha."

He grimaced. "We're worried because the boy has 'pull a weapon out' syndrome.  He went armed to the symposium?"

"Almost all demon hunters go armed to everything, sir.  I've never seen the Winchester family unarmed.  The slayers either.  I'm incredibly proud that Xander feels safe enough around the base to only carry a pocket knife.  To them that's their training.  Weapons save your life and the life of those around you.  As they told the girls, you have to be paranoid because someone is always out to get you.  Usually because you're good at your job."

"I can see why."  He sighed. "Our counter terrorism people were amused at your base."

"I heard.  I helped show him around."

"Fine.  Can I have that?"

"Sir, why would I want to give whoever decided to push the makers of the clones more information on a clear target they had?"  He looked stunned.  "Xander said they all tried to keep his axe.  They also tried to get him off the base as fast as possible.  The not-me tried to fire him for having to take down a nest during a case.  Speaking of, I need to make sure they didn't."  He got into that set of forms.  "No, they tried to file a resignation letter." He canceled that and checked other areas.  He gave Xander a bonus for solving that one so quickly.  He grinned. "He deserved it.  He was in New York earlier."

"You think this is whoever this other power player is?"  Daniel nodded.  "Any idea who it is?"

"The demons who attacked us at the site they left us at babbled a name at Xander but I have no idea what he said.  Yet.  I'll find out tomorrow."

"Hmm.  So another attempt."

"Focused on getting Xander away from us and then taking us down, sir."

"Fine.  You keep that profile.  Make sure he cannot go rogue.  Those agents wanted to know."

"Give me a contact number.  They can ask me themselves."

"I'll tell them that.  You really don't play politics that well.  I thought all academics had to."

"I loathe politics, sir.  I really do.  To use a Xander and Faith-ism politics blows."  The president laughed so hard he choked.  He waved and signed off then put the profile in a locked drawer and took the key with him.  "Spenser, need anything?"

"Not yet.  Thanks for asking," he said absently.

"Okay.  Call Hotchner to make sure he knows you're okay."  He nodded, doing that one- handed while he read.  Danny headed to the kitchen, finding the pouting dog.  He got her a few steaks out of the freezer with a grin.  "Good girl.  You deserve them."  He patted her and went to his own apartment.  He found Sheppard outside.  "Thanks for the fill in."

"Not a problem.  Are we good?"

"Mostly.  We have some sort of higher demon and power player trying to get the agency out of the way.  He apparently knows what a lynchpin Xander is," he said quietly.

"Ah.  No wonder.  Why his axe?"

"I don't know.  I'm going to ask Sam Winchester that."  He smirked.  "You do know Jack put you on the list?  Which means you're eligible to take my desk some year?"

"No and I'll be shot on a mission first," he said bluntly.

Daniel smirked.  "It's not so bad."  He walked off smiling.  "After all, Jack's going to be my AD over all you guys soon."

"Better him than me.  I'll die a heroic death before then," he called after him.  Then he shuddered, going to tell McKay that to make sure he died.  "Jackson said we're on the list to lead all this some day."

"We'll crash a puddle jumper," he said bluntly.

"I was thinking a heroic death on a mission."

"It'd have to be an instant one.  I don't want to die a horrific, tragic death that will leave me a horrid looking corpse.  Then no one will ever come tell me of future great scientific discoveries.  I'd have to haunt some lab and nag the imbeciles."

Abby gave him a hug.  "It's not so bad.  Jack's ahead of you guys."  She beamed at them.  "Besides, that means you could head the R&D lab all the time.  Get to play with all the toys Xander made.  Oooh, he made more."  She led him by the wrist to the room Xander worked in, finding the new toys for him to look at.  They moaned and came over to play with the new geek toys.  That compulsion was pretty cool.

***

Daniel found Sam leaning against the building.  "Pretty night," he said quietly.

Sam looked at him.  "Why come after Xander that way?"

"Xander keeps a lot of things going."  Sam moaned.  "He kept the agency going before we got Tony.  He keeps it going now.  He trains us, he trains the girls with you guys.  Think about what would happen if Rupert had to take over Xander's duties for a week."

"Things would go to hell," he admitted.  He shifted to pull his knees up.  "Still, it makes no sense to have him removed with that much prejudice.  This was too big of a plan.  I can see trying to discredit him. I can see an assassination attempt.  I can't see replacing so many people with goo clones and having them fire him."

"They were also trying to part him from his axe," Daniel said.  "I was going to ask you about that."

Sam frowned.  "Really?"  Daniel nodded.  "Huh.  I don't know.  I can look it over and look up the history of it.  Anything else?"

"The demons babbled a name.  Sounded like D'Sofra?"

He shrugged.  "I can look it up too."  He grinned.  "Sleep well, Danny.  You deserve it."

"Thanks.  You go to bed sometime too."

"I had an almost vision.  I'm waiting to see if it comes back or not."

"Sure.  Can you document how often those happen?  In case something's blocking you or it's being spread out among them?"  Sam hit himself on the head.  "It could happen.  Dawn had one of the last ones.  She's not a seer but she and Xander had it."

"Crap."  He got up with a helping hand from the boss and went to do that.  Plus look at the axe Glen was petting.  "Can I?"  He let him have it to look over.  He found the maker's mark and noted the symbols lightly carved into the mixed silver head, going to the library to look them up.  What he found was very interesting.

***

Xander looked at the wish demon who found him on his balcony, giving her an odd look.  "Need advice or bad ideas?"  He took a sip of his soda.

"No, I heard you wanting to make a wish."

Xander nodded.  "But I know how wrong that is of me.  I do try to live by the three-fold rule."

She smirked.  "I think you have plenty of good karma points."

"You never know.  Who is the power player D'Sonfrinat?"

"One of the Highers, over the Seers."

Xander gave her an odd look.  "So why try to get me out of here?"  She gave him that special dumbass look.  "I've only had visions here and only when they relate to people I'm close to."

"True.  I don't know why then."

"Huh.  Is he the power player behind earlier?"

"You know, I don't know."

"If I make a wish of say, bad luck on his plans to get any of us at DCIS or our affiliated agencies for ten months after the apocalypse..."  He took a sip of his soda and grinned.  "Could you tell me who it hit?"

She looked at him.  "That's sneaky, Xander."

He leaned over to kiss her.  "You love me anyway, Anya."

She changed her form.  "How did you know?"

"You never changed your perfume."  He grinned.  "Happier?"

"Fairly so.  I'm doing Hallie's job."

"I heard.  Thank you."  She gave him a hug and he let her cuddle in.  "D'Hoffryn pissed at himself for granting Willow's wish?"

"He's been horned up the butt by so many demons recently," she admitted, smirking at him.  "He might even start to like it sometime soon."

"You know, that could be that same power player trying to get people out of his way.  We figured it was him or the Powers since they made Buffy take hers back."  He finished his soda and put the glass down, cuddling her properly.  "So, how do you like the little sister brigade?"

"They're adorable."  She looked at him.  "D'Hoffryn said he hadn't thought of that but having her make that wish could have been him.  I don't see how."

"With that many slayers at least one's going to goof like Faith had happen," he said quietly.  "Some might discredit the slayer line."  She moaned.  He nodded.  "Not to mention we've already got two that are stake happy and a few that decided to go to a demon bar to try out the new skills they had learned in their first three days of training."

"So it could be him or it could be the Powers."

"If so, then there's got to be a bad big bad coming.  If it only took seven and backups for the First Evil....  The possible invasion in Egypt isn't that bad potentially.  Sam's probably looking already.  If not, I'll ask."  She kissed him and he smiled.  "Think it'd help?"

"I think I might."

"I wish that the power player behind all problems that DCIS has had is granted bad luck on any plans that involve DCIS or ISC personnel for ten months past the final apocalypse so he cannot ruin the childhoods of any of the girls."

She shivered.  "Oh, God, Xander."  He grinned.  "The *final* apocalypse?"  He beamed.  She looked up then nodded.  "D'Hoffryn is pissed at whoever it is.  Wish granted."  She snuggled in better.  "Hmm.  Not Sonfrinat.  Interesting."

"Who?" he asked quietly.

"The Fallen Angel Varcher."

"Never heard of him."

"He's never spoken of.  During the battle he tried to create a third side so he is not allowed to be noted anywhere."

"Then why move us out of his way?"

She looked at him.  "Because that could let you become his army.  Neither light nor dark but both, and he needed a general."

"Ah."  He kissed her again.  "I'll tell Sam in the morning."  He pulled her onto his lap, making her squeak.  "Came just for the cuddles and the wish?" he asked with a teasing grin.

"No.  I missed you on Halloween thanks to the weenies."

"I'm still building because of the guys but they had a point.  Some of the things they wanted us to build had a reason and could help us and others doing the job."  He kissed her again. "I just wish they hadn't made me want to build every time I got hard."  She giggled and took his mind off it.   He carried her inside to his spare bed in the spare bedroom/office.  She pouted.  "I have anti-demon wards on the bed."

"Ooops.  This is good.  It's comfy enough."  She pulled him down to play with.  "Will you do the tongue thing, Xander?  I miss orgasms."

"Sure, I can do the tongue thing."  He moved down to please her, making her squeal and thrash, but Dean could sleep through it since his bedroom was sharing a wall with that room.

***

Dean looked at the wall he shared with Xander's apartment and thought about banging on it but it was nice that Xander was finally relaxing and getting some again.  Even if it was Anya.  Damn she was loud!  He pulled the pillow over his head but even that didn't help so he went to the couch.  Still too noisy.  He decided to grab his sleeping bag and go bunk in his father's room for the night.  John grunted at him when he opened the door.  "Anya came to play with Xander.  She's louder than any woman I've ever had."

"You sleep with a demon and I'm beating your ass with a shotgun," John mumbled.

"Yes, sir."  He unrolled his sleeping bag and cuddled down in front of the door.  It was quieter over here, even if he did have to hear the girls giggling as they tried to sneak out.

"If I can hear giggling, you're too noisy!" Gwen yelled.  "Stop it!"

"Yes, big sister," a few shot back then giggled.

John got up and went to shoo them back to bed.  He came back.  "You weren't kidding.  She's so loud she's echoing and Tony's going to sleep in the armory."  He laid back down, going back to sleep.  At least the boy would be happier tomorrow.  A hunt followed by good sex did it for Dean.  It should do it for Xander.

***

Daniel walked over to Xander the next morning and handed him a package.  "The girls wanted me to give you this because you're louder than even them."

He looked inside the box then at him.  "Anya has one already and I'll tell her she kept too many people up.  It'd been a while."

"Uh-huh."  He went back to his seat.  "Why was Anya down?"

"Dude, Anya?" Sam asked, staring at Xander.

"She didn't get to snuggle on Halloween like she wanted because of the possession thing.  But she did cure the problem that made me go build things each time I got horny."  House spluttered.  "Did the mini robots work?"

"Very well.  I tested them on Chase.  They pinch too."  Xander beamed at him.  "That's so mean."

"They were probably sublimating," Sam told him.  He looked at Xander.  "Anya?"

"What?  She was nice to me."

"She's demonic again."

"And?  You can make a claim that Cordy was when we dated too."  Sam moaned at that.  "Not my first one, Sam.  Relax and I'll ask her to be more quiet the next time she shows up for cuddles."

"Dude, you drove me to go sleep in Dad's room," Dean said as he came in.  "I don't know *what* you did to her, but dude, no way!"

Xander grinned.  "I know what she likes and it had been a while."

"A'int no way, dude," Dean said, patting him on the back.  "Clearly faked."  Xander shook his head.  "Had to be with that much noise."  Xander handed him over a tape.  "You *taped* it?"  The girls all stared and so did most of the agents.

"She set it up," he defended.  "I simply confiscated it before she could duplicate it and put it online.  Again."

Dean snatched it and went to the evidence locker to watch it.  There was no way!  He came back blushing but shaking his head.  "Go take a nap.  You clearly need one."

"No, not yet."  He put the tape into his pocket and finished breakfast, then headed up to check his desk.  He came back to lean down to Danny's ear.  "Thanks to Anya, I made a small wish that the power player behind all this crap have a few bad months until the final apocalypse."  He went back to his desk.

Daniel leaned out to watch him leave.  "I want information on who it was," he called after him.

"I'll have to get it from Thomas and Sammy first," he called before taking the stairs.  He was in a happy enough mood to take the stairs instead of the elevator today.  Maybe he'd even go jogging later.

Daniel looked at them.  "When you know, I want to know."  They nodded, going to get the information from Xander.

Since Xander had no work he decided to go work out in the gym.  They had a nice fitness center down by the infirmary.  They even had a pool but it had cracks.  He could fix that and he did have the energy to fix that today.  Maybe firing up the chocolate fondue pot had been a strange idea but it had been in there and Anya did so like his tongue.  It had been good to do the 'well of chocolate' game with her again.

***

House heard water going and went to look.  "We have a pool?" he asked.

"We have a pool as part of the fitness center but it has cracks," Chase said, checking on it.  "It looks like Xander fixed the cracks."

"Did he take something to have that much energy?"

"Chocolate," Dawn said as she joined them.  "That is Xander on chocolate hyperness."  She leaned in. "Can we girls use the pool?"

"No bikinis, no skinny dipping, and ask Tony for tasteful rules on bathing suits," Xander called back.  "They'll hold water.  I even scrubbed it.  Get me my trunks?"

"Sure, Xander."  She called them down and watched him dive into the filling pool to swim around once he had changed.  "Is he...  He's doing what otters do on the Discovery Channel."

House moaned but nodded.  "Maybe we should sedate him?"

"He'll wiggle off the bed," Dawn said dryly.   "Make him clean and fix more stuff.  Or go for a run with the girls and John."  She went to ask Tony.  "Xander fixed the pool."  Everyone stared at her.  "He did."  She looked at Tony again.  "He said no skinny dipping, no bikinis, and you got to set the level of tasteful for bathing suits."

"Why me?"

"Because you have class and Xander wears speedos thanks to his former swim team."

He moaned.  "No bikinis.  Two-pieces are fine as long as they're covering.  We'd prefer one-pieces.  Shaving should be done so we're not grossed out by the hair.  I know it's not necessary but it's disgusting to most guys so the girls should.  Shoes until you get there, no going in sweaty, use public pool manners."

"Okay."  She went to post that in the slayers' dorm.  Brenda squealed and went to find her suit.

Dean came out to look from his demonology class with the new slayers.  "We have a pool?"

"It had cracks.  Xander fixed it.  He's splashing around right now."  Brenda came down in a tasteful two-piece racing suit with a top that zipped up the front and bottoms that covered things.  She wrapped a wrap dress around her and found her shoes and a towel on the dryer before heading off.  "Xander and Tony's rules."  She beamed and went to find her own so she could swim too.

Dean looked at the rule.  "Sensible."  He went back to his teaching.  His dad was going to freak.

***

John walked into the pool area, staring at his adopted daughter.  "What are you wearing, Brenda?"

She got out to show him.  "It's tasteful and it covers everything but my belly button, John."

He stared.  Then at her.  "It's a bit skimpy."

"Would you let Dean wear it?" Dawn called.

"I never had this problem with the boys.  Well, except for that one time Dean tried to traumatize Sammy by putting him into a bikini while he was drunk, but that's a nightmare."  He shook his head quickly.  He sighed.  "Fine."  She hugged him then dove back in to go back to her laps.  He couldn't complain.  It was covering.  "It stays zipped, young lady."

"Yes, sir."

He smiled, watching Xander swim under the water.  "Does he suddenly have gills?"

Dawn treaded water then looked at him.  "He's testing his breath control."  Xander came up gasping for air.  "See?"  She went back to swimming.  She liked it since Xander had taught her how.

John looked at the girls coming in.  "The rule said no bikinis, ladies."  Those two went to change.  He sighed, settling in to play lifeguard.  Sammy came in to help.  He had on tasteful, long trunks.  He dove in over Dawn's head, making the girls squeal in pleasure.  John had to shake his head at that.  Dean came in.  "Lifeguarding?"

"Yup."  Sammy came up from swimming.  "Okay, girls.  Into the shallow section with Sammy so he can teach you two how to swim."  The youngest ones climbed in and let Sammy teach them how to swim, with Xander's help since he was getting bored.  When Mary ended up spluttering, Dean stepped in.  "Xander, go fix something for me please?"  He got out with a sigh but went to shower and change back so he could fix something in the labs.  Abby always needed things fixed because she kept blowing things up.  He sat on the side of the pool to watch over the girls.  "Dawn, adjust that top down?"  She looked then blushed and pulled it back down.  "Thank you."  He smiled when Anna paddled over to him.  "Good job!"  She beamed and went back to swimming.

John came over, watching them go.  "Good work, Sammy.  Good job, girls."  They beamed and went back to paddling around the pool.  The older girls let them and helped when they got tired.  Even Dawn.  She let Mary have a water piggyback ride.

John Sheppard leaned in.  "Can we use it too?"

"Of course," Dawn agreed.

"Without getting pinched?"

"Maybe not," she said with a grin.  "Wait until the girls are done?"

"We probably will."  He went back to tell the others the girls had the pool for now.  They might pinch and squeal. They all nodded at that wisdom.  Though Eric Delko did go down to see if they needed lifeguards.  He used to swim in college.  He checked with Daniel.  "The pool works."

"Xander must've had too much chocolate again."

"Possibly.  He's up fixing the spots Abby's blown out of the lab walls."

"Sounds like much too much chocolate."  He shook his head.  "We set down good rules for the girls?"

"Apparently.  There's no beach bikinis."

"Even better.  Any adults down there?"

"John, Dean, Sam, and Eric Delko just went."

Daniel smiled.  "That's wonderful."  He went back to his monthly paperwork.  "Want to learn how to do this?"

"Hell no.  I'll die on a mission first."  He went back up to the lab.  Xander had already fixed the holes and was now outside.  He watched him take off for a jog.  "Jackson said he ate way too much chocolate."

"Anya popped in and wanted to know what you needed to run a chocolate fondue pot," Abby admitted.  "She mentioned a 'well of chocolate' game.  I didn't want to know.  I'm too good of a good girl for that sort of thing.  Light bondage maybe but not that."  McKay blushed bright red and walked off mumbling.  "Sorry, not like I've dated recently."  She went back to her tinkering.  "Get the 'what is this' box out?" she called after him.  "Please?"  He got into the vault to get that box out so he could find more missing pieces of their assignment.  "Why aren't you down swimming with the girls?"

"I asked, they'll pinch."

"Ah.  Well, you're cute but only for bimbos really."  McKay brayed a laugh at that.  "Sorry but even though he's smart, he hides it much too much for smart girls like me."

McKay cleared his throat.  "Abigail, since I'm down here, would you like to go to dinner tonight?" he asked in a babble.

She beamed. "I'd love to go to dinner with you tonight, Rodney."  She gave him a hug.  "As long as we don't go to the Italian place in the next town.  You get the runs really badly from there.  Even spirits warned Xander about that."

He nodded, clearing his throat.  "We can avoid there."

She smiled.  "There's a great Mexican place or a family run place in town or there's a good Greek place about fifteen miles away.  I can check out one of the sedans for the night."

He smiled.  "We'll figure it out later on the way out."  She beamed and bounced out to get ready.

Sheppard grinned.  "Smooth.  Good job.  Go shower and shave.  That's how dates go."  Rodney blushed but went to do that.  "Geek love is so cute," he told himself, settling in to look at the new box of 'what am I' crap.  Demons made strange things.  He held up the small statue looking thing and took it to Thomas, who immediately snatched it and put it in a locking case.  "Bad?"

"Fertility symbol.  We do not want the slayers around that."

"It was in Abby's unidentified box."

"Some day I do hope the dear one has multiple children to drive her to sanity but that's still dangerous."

"Okay.  Anything else like that and we'll know."  He went back up there to go over the rest of the box.  He saw out the window when Abby and Rodney left, smirking at them.  They were adorable together!  They were babbling science at each other and probably using it as foreplay.

***

Xander came in from his run to the town and back, twice, and settled in to wiggle his way through dinner.  John watched him then timed it just right so he was done shortly before Xander was.  That way he could knock him out, tie him up, and put him somewhere safe he could sleep the chocolate off.  He even got Dean's help carrying him off to stick him in a corner of his room.  Dean's bedroll was in there so it was good for them.  Dean went to wait on Anya to come back.  She had to leave pouting but she remembered Xander being that bouncy before.  She hadn't woken up happy the next morning.  She told him all about the bruised vagina she had after that and how she had even bruised her clitoris.  So she'd give him two days then come back.  Dean went to bed traumatized by her stories.  Sam was still in the library so he got a nice, peaceful night for a change.  It was so nice.

***

House came in to check on Xander the next morning.  "He's still sleeping?" he asked the girl who had called him.

"Yes," she said with a pout.  "I wanted to go swim before the dinner."

House patted her on the head.  "Any adult who can swim can go with you, Anna."  He finished checking him over.  "He's fine.  Just exhausted."  She sighed.  "Go ask one of the agents to go with you.  They might already be over there."  She went to change and do that.  He nudged Xander awake, getting a sleepy glare.  "Good morning."

"Fuck off."

"It's three hours to Thanksgiving lunch."

"Wake me in two more."

"Fine."  He left, going to tell the girls that.  "Xander said let him sleep for another two hours so he has time to get cleaned up before lunch."  They nodded.  "Anna's wanting to go swimming."

"Most of the older guys are over there," Dawn said.  "Do you know where Abby is?"

"She went out to dinner last night from what Sheppard told Danny."  He walked off, going to check on that.  He found Sheppard pacing.  "Let me guess, they ran out of gas?"

"Engine blew on the way back.  He called and said she had called the guards.  They were supposed to come pick them up.  I have no idea where they are."

"Her apartment is on two."

"Huh."  He went to check.  No answer on her intercom button.  He went to check the garage.  The car wasn't there but it could've been dropped off at a garage.  He went to check with the gate.  "Did Abby and McKay get back last night?"

"We found the car and brought them back, but we have no idea where they are," the guard told him.  "For all we know, they went to the equipment closet in the lab.  They were teasing each other with a hypothesis of some sort."

"Ah, geek love," he sighed.  The guard cracked up.  He saw car pulling up and ended up saluting.  "General."

"Don't do that.  I'm a guest like you are.  Problems?"

"McKay and Abby broke down on their way back from dinner last night.  I can't find him."

"If he was in trouble you'd hear," the young guy next to Jack said.  "After all, he's loud."

"Good point.  Aren't you...?"  Jack nodded.  "That's cool.  Jackson's in the library fussing over a small fertility idol I found in the vault last night."   Jack went to park and pull Danny out of the library.  John went to check the lab.  He hadn't yet.  Only the main work areas.  He got nearer to the testing labs and heard a noise, shaking his head.  He left, locking the main lab door on his way out.  Jack gave him an odd look.  "They're in the forensic testing lab."

Daniel looked over. "Who is?"

"Abby and McKay."

"Okay then," Danny decided.  "We can save them some dinner."  Everyone nodded at that.  "Hey, Jack Junior, want introduced to some of the girls?"

He looked at him.  "They'd hit on me."

"Well, yes, but you're their age, and you can probably understand how their duty works."

"Maybe. Any of them nice?"

"Most of them are nice," Sheppard told him.  Something upstairs blew up and he had to say it.  "Sounds like it was good."

Jack moaned.  Jack Junior moaned and shook his head.  Daniel cackled.  "Probably.  Maybe he was making homemade nitro for chest pains."

Sheppard snickered.  "That's so bad."

"Well, yeah, but I haven't gotten to pick on Xander yet today."

"House was just in the girls' dorm.  John probably still has him in there."

"Then I'll pick on him at lunch.  Come see the base, Mini Jack."  He walked hm off to show him around.  With any luck he'd get to recruit him or set him up with one of the nicer girls.  They'd like Jack.  They'd be showing much better taste than the girls in Cleveland did too.  Bigger Jack followed along so Danny couldn't get his clone sucked into anything.  Because this would drive him and his clone nuts if one of them got sucked over into the insanity Danny ran daily.  Though it did seem to keep him young.  He seemed to have fewer gray hairs now than when he left the SGC.  They ran into the pets and he sighed.  "Hey, George," Daniel said, bending down to pet him.  "Jack, this is George.  He's a pretty harmless demonic shrub."

"What makes him demonic?"

"Well, he's mobile, he's sentient even if he can't speak.  He adopted some of the girls and Abby as his pet people."  The shrub moved over to sense mini Jack however he did.  "That rustling is 'please pet a branch carefully'."  Jack did that.  The shrub shifted some branches to look at Bigger Jack then back at Mini Jack.  "We know, George."  It rustled again and he got a few more pets before he walked off.  "He's a pretty intelligent shrub.  Just don't stand in his light.  He's got poisonous spikes."

"Sure," Mini Jack said, nodding quickly.  "Any other pets?"

"Binky and Digger.  Annabelle named all the pets.  They're probably out playing right now but if I know the girls, they'll be having dinner with us."

"Why?" Jack said.

"Because they're part of the family on the base," Danny said with a grin.   Messer, Flack, and Taylor walked their way.  "Jack, you remember Mac Taylor, Danny Messer, and Don Flack, right?"

"I do.  Hey guys.  This is my younger version, Jack Junior."  Mini Jack waved.

"I didn't know you had kids," Don said with a grin.  "Looking forward to the switchover?"

"I'm still at the Academy."

"That kinda sucks but hey, the girls could use a few good penpals and you guys could use some pretty girls with brains writing, right?" Danny offered.

"Yeah.  We could."

Dawn came running out.  "Danny, is there enough room for Buffy to come?"

"I figured she would anyway.  Are the other girls coming too?"

"No, I checked.  The ones in LA are eating with the Epps family.  The rest of the ones in Cleveland are going to hotel buffet."  Danny smiled at that.  "I know, we could have but it'd take a lot of cars and they'd be horrified at how the slayers ate.  You sure?"  Danny nodded.  "Killer, thanks."  She opened a portal and Buffy walked through.  "He said it's fine."

"Thanks, Danny."  She gave him a hug.  "Aww, there's George."  She bent down to pet the little shrub demon.  "Someone's been hitting the Miracle Grow.  I bet you've grown six whole inches, George."  He rattled his bushes in a pleased manner.  "C'mon, let's go find the other pets."  She walked off with him.  "Dawnie!"

"Coming."  She closed the portal and followed her sister.  "Hi, Mini Jack," she called as she walked.

Both Jacks blinked.  "She's bouncier than Xander today," Bigger Jack noted.  "How did she know who he was?"

"Should've seen him yesterday when he hit the chocolate pretty hard," Danny said dryly.  "But a lot of things go fixed, including the pool."

Jack laughed.  "Figures he'd do useful things when he's hyper."

"He ran to town and back twice.  He fixed all the holes in the lab.  He fixed the pool."  Jack moaned, shaking his head.  "Oh, House wanted me to check.  When this plan goes off, can he recruit from the infirmary there?"

Jack shrugged.  "If Janet hadn't been retired after her injury, I wouldn't disagree with him stealing her.  It means she couldn't stick me with more needles."

"I'd offer but you'd whine," House called.  "Jackson, phone call.  For some reason they routed it to the infirmary."

"Problem?"

"Maybe.  Not sure.  Won't talk to me."

"Thanks, House."  He went into the armory to pick it up in there.  It was the only blinking extension.  "This is Doctor Jackson."  He listened.  "General Hammond, sir.  How are you?  We're having Thanksgiving dinner in a bit and both Jacks are here.  Jack, it's Hammond!" he bellowed. He put him on speaker.  "So, what's wrong, sir?"

"Two things. I talked to Jacob.  He said that it's unlikely the offworld part of that invasion prophecy will happen.  If so it'll be a few minor ones and probably the queens."

"We didn't figure it'd be a full scale assault with multiple system lords," Jack assured him.  "We were thinking two minor ones at the most."

"That's probably what it'll be.  How about on your end, Doctor Jackson?"

"It looks pretty nasty and it looks like we'll have some minor pushing of the power structure in a few areas.  We keep hearing Chicago's going to be a bit nasty but we're not sure why.  LA and Miami also look like they'll have some problems but New York has too many families to really break out in big ones.  Thankfully it's in June.  The girls are really looking forward to the prom in late May."

"Good.  That's excellent.  Is it set up on the Egyptian end?"

"We've hooked them up with Rupert Giles.  Who is a very good researcher and head of the Slayers Council."

"I've heard about him," Hammond said dryly.

"It's nice that they're finally paying Xander for doing three quarters of the admin work," he said dryly.  "We'll manage, we always do.  Fortunately we found it in enough time to give them some warning.  The cities too.  Chicago doesn't want to listen so I'm probably going to sic Xander on them."

"That's mean," Mini Jack told him.

Daniel smiled.  "Xander gets things done quickly.  That's why we send him on the bad cases."  Dean leaned in.  "Talking to my old boss.  Is Xander up yet?"

"He just growled at Brenda so Dad had to smack him on the head to make him stop.  We confiscated the chocolate fondue pot from his apartment.  Sammy said so."  He left them alone to talk.

"That was Dean, he's one of the slayers' teachers.  Have you talked to Sam recently, sir?"

"I tried her at home but they said she was there?"

"She's one of the older ones that got given a choice," Jack said grimly.  "So she's been here."  He paged her and she came jogging in.  "Playing around, Captain?"

"I was in the lab then I heard the giggling.  I didn't know McKay could giggle nor do I want to know what made him giggle instead of cackling evilly."  She blushed.  "So I'm avoiding that area all together."

"Captain, you were called to be a slayer?"

She smiled at the phone. "Yes, sir.  I've had a lot of fun training for the past few weeks.  I'm learning a lot about strange weapons too.  I've also learned more about sword work, crossbows, staking and how to make a good stake, how to sharpen any sort of blade, a lot more about guns than I knew before.  Some new moves in self defense class.  A lot of demons that frankly make my head hurt half the time.  Fortunately we do have a compact field manual for emergencies.  It's a 'find what it looks like to figure out how to kill it or if you shouldn't have to' chart.  It's come in handy as a study guide."

"That's good.  I talked to your father and he said happy holidays, he doesn't think he can get down for Christmas.  Probably right after New Years."

"I'll be done by Christmas and back on the base, sir."

"Good, you're helping me and Danny's people figure out who gets the axe for unethical stuff in Area 51 and NID," Jack told her.  "You, me, Taylor, and Caine."

"We can do that.  I can give you a list of names to start with at Area 51."

"They went ahead with the consolidation?" Hammond asked.

"Yes, sir.  They put it on a budget bill the president couldn't veto," Jack said grimly.

"They'll all be pocketed under DCIS," Danny told him.  "That way they can stay covert and Jack can smooth things over between his successor and us.  After he's done figuring out who's going to jail."

"I can give you a good list," Sam promised.

"Please do," Danny agreed.  "We got asked to cut ten percent of the budget."

"I'm thinking we can probably cut more like thirty," she told him.

"Sheppard's project needs a small boost too," Danny said dryly.

"Even better.  Is Abby going to go up on the computer consolidation?" Jack asked.

"McKay said he had it but I'll offer before they go back," he decided.  "If they're serious I'll do what I can to help.  The girls will coo."

"They will.  They squeal too," she told Jack's clone.  "And pounce."

"They used to panty raid," Danny said dryly.  Hammond burst out laughing.  "They did, General.  All the time.  House had to use a dye pack to get them out of his apartment."  He shook his head.  He wouldn't even mention the girls in Cleveland.

"I hears there were more problems with the girls on assignment," Sam said.

Danny looked at her.  "The ones in Cleveland decided to share three guys among six of them so they could catch the four diseases they also shared around."

"Eww."

"That's what House said.  When three of them didn't learn, Xander went to fix it instead of John.  I heard they've taken a vow of celibacy."

"Fortunately the girls here are younger and better girls," Jack said.  He saw Sheppard and waved.  "Hammond."

"Good afternoon, General."

"To you as well, Colonel Sheppard.  Why are you down?"

"We do a lab switch and update about every four to six months to identify things we haven't been able to.  Abby has a lot of things that seem to come from around our galaxy.  Including Harris' temple."

Jack turned to laugh into a cabinet.  "It still doesn't surprise me," Sam decided.

Glen leaned in.  "Is there a problem I can help with?"

"We're talking with our former boss, Glen.  This was the closest phone."

"All right then."  He went to browse the kitchen.  The cook swatted him so he went to wait on lunch like the others.  He found snack trays and dug into them for now.  Fortunately the girls hadn't seen them yet.

Daniel shook his head.  "He's quiet and he knows what he's doing," he told Jack.

"He does love the weapons," Sam agreed.  "He pets them, sleeps with them, talks to them, coos while he polishes them.  He's good to them."

Mini Jack shook his head.  "There's a lot of people like that in some jobs."

"It took us nearly six months to find him," Daniel told them.  "But he's a good guy.  We like him.  He babies the slayers in training very well.  Plus he does a lot of bullet making."

"Xander seemed to do that whenever he couldn't sleep," Sam told him.

Danny nodded.  "Usually."  He looked at the phone.  "General, would you like to come for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"I'd be pounced, Doctor Jackson.  At my age, pouncing is bad."

"The girls won't pounce you, sir.  They only pounce the cute young agents," Sam assured him.  "I know you're alone today."

"Well, yes."

"Dawn," Daniel called.  She leaned in a minute later.  "Can you get someone if we can get a picture of where he is?"

"Of course."  A picture beeped on Sam's phone.  She showed her so she opened a portal to the place.  The line on the phone went dead and Daniel hung up on their side.  The general walked through.  "Hi.  Welcome to DCIS, sir."  She shook his hand.  "Step through the portal all the way so I can close it?"  He did and she closed it before smirking at the younger clone.  "C'mon, the girls are behaving for once.  We won't even make you pet the unicorns."  She dragged him off.  He gave her odd looks but oh well.  "Wesley, this is Jack Junior."

"Good afternoon," he said, shaking his hand.  "Related to General O'Neill?"

"Yeah, I'm his younger version."

"Ah, that's charming.  Dawn, do behave."

"Of course!" she snorted.  "I'm being a good girl.  Taking him hostage means the adults can talk about the consolidation stuff without having to watch him shudder too."  She looked at him.  "Beyond that, we have cooler sites out here unless you like the lab?"

"No.  Not my thing."

"Then you can come help Brenda want to tinker with the cars and stuff.  Beyond that, we hijacked two of the snack trays."  Jack smiled at that.  "Slayers eat a lot."  She walked him over to look at what Brenda was looking at.  "If you get dirty, John will bitch."

"I'm not getting dirty.  I'm seeing what's wrong with this one's engine."

"I don't know.  Who had it stall on them?"

She grinned.  "Abby and McKay."

"I heard they're giggling in the lab," Jack told her.

She looked at him then smirked.  "As long as he makes her happy we won't have to threaten bodily harm.  Because Dawn can get us where he works."  She gave him a sweet, good girl smile.

He cackled.  "I'm sure that'll work."

"We're why they have Eggy," Dawn told him.  She looked around.  "He didn't bring Tiff back."

"Tiff's laid up with a broken ankle," Sheppard said from the other side of the garage.  "She said she was too grumpy to come with us.  She's babying Eggy at the moment so he quits trying to chew on the vegan scientist we have."  He looked at Jack.  "They're not kidding but McKay won't mind.  He's not a mean guy outside of the lab."

"He's just got an overloaded self-confidence button," Dawn told him.

"That's one way of putting it but he's a good guy, Dawn.  Don't worry about him hurting Abby."

"Sure."  She walked Jack over.  She still had hold of him.

"Are you claiming me?" Jack asked.

John looked at him.  "It's to protect you from some of the younger ones.  Xander told them to quit trying to hit on me so they have to try someone new."

Brenda looked up and snorted.  "Fat chance."  She went back to looking.  "I think it's a slipped hose but I don't know why I think that."  Dean strolled in.  "Dean, this one stalled last night while Abby and McKay were out on a date."

He shuddered.  "Those'll be some very geeky babies.  They'll probably babble in Klingon or something."  He looked.  "Slipped hose.  Distributor cap is loose too."  He pointed at it.

"This hose, right?" she asked.

He nodded. "That hose and it looks like a loose wire."  He fixed that with her then he got in to start it, revving it a few times.  He turned it off.  "These sedans are all pieces of crap for engines."

"Nothing beats a jet," John said happily.

He looked at him.  "Can't use that on the highway, dude.  Though if I could load one with rock salt missiles...."

Brenda grinned.  "You'd be able to get a whole bunch of ghosts."

"Hmm, that's a happy thought.  We should suggest that to Dad.  See how long he groans for."  She giggled.  "Clean up.  Before Dad sees the grease on your hands."  She checked her clothes then went to clean up in the garage sink.  Dean was right beside her.  "Dad yelled at me for tinkering with the car one year on Christmas."

"Where's the others?"

"Finishing the parade.  Sammy tried to watch it every year.  I swear if there's a parade he's there."  She grinned.  "I know, better a parade whore than a cheerleader whore."  Brenda laughed, nudging him with her shoulder.

John Winchester leaned in.  "Kids."

"Fixing the car that stranded Abby last night," she said.

John came in to look at it then nodded.  "It work now?"

"Few loose things, one wire disconnected."

"Sabotage?" she guessed.

"Probably but who'd hurt Abby?"

"Maybe McKay's mouth went off at the wrong person," Jack Junior said.  "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Abby would've apologized for him," Dawn assured him.  "She's very sweet unless you piss her off."  She frowned at the car, casting a small spell on it.  "Why would there be electronics under the back bumper?"

Both Johns got down and looked.  "Um, crap," Sheppard said.

"Dawn, I need Horatio right now.  Calmly, please.  Everyone else out."  They ran while she called.  He came jogging in.  "Toolbox is in the corner, Horatio."  He got what he'd probably need and came over to look.  "This is the car Abby and Sheppard took last night."

"This is not good."  He got it undone and brought it out.  "Let me check it for fingerprints.  Who touched it?"

"You.  Dawn cast a spell."

"Even better.  Let's clear the rest of the car."  They looked it over.   No other devices.  Usually one was enough though.  Even if this one hadn't gone off due to a misplaced wire.  Horatio took it up to forensics to run the fingerprints.  Abby leaned in.  "We found out why the car stalled."

"Ooh."  She looked at his hands then at him.  "Was that on the car?"

"It was but Dean and Brenda were both wiping their stained hands so I'm guessing they got under the hood as well."

"Hmm.  We were at the family run place."

"I'll let the locals know."  She gave him a hug.  "Let me pull fingerprints."  She nodded, going to tell McKay that.  He was offended but Horatio gave him a look so he calmed down.  When he got a report back, he headed down to the gate and called the police to meet him there.  One of the local guys came up, looking happy.  He held up the device and the smile left. "On the car that stranded Abby and McKay last night after their date.  The trigger wire was laid wrong.  These are the fingerprints I pulled off and I did pull the bomb myself."

The guy looked at them then at him.  "You were bomb squad?"

"Many years ago," he agreed quietly.

"Thank you for this.  Where were they?"

"That small family restaurant."

The guard coughed.  "Their engine stalled.  We had to go pick them up."

"Brenda and Dean were in the finishing stages of cleaning off grease when they ran them out of the garage," Horatio told him.

"Most of the time you can't tell Brenda's not a Winchester by birth," the guard agreed.

The officer looked at them.  "Letting us handle it?"

"You probably should, before Xander gets upset or the girls do," Horatio told him.  "They do consider Abby a big sister."

The officer hissed.  "Understood.  I'll let my boss know, Agent Caine.  Thank you."  He headed off to the office.  His boss was at home so he called.  "Someone tampered with one of the DCIS vehicles last night.  Caine pulled fingerprints off the bomb he removed."  He hung up and went to find the one matching one they could.  Plus see if there were any cameras in that area. They'd need it for the trial.  He hoped they made it to trial.  Some of those girls were scary when they were mad.  Brenda being one.  Dawn too.  His boss pulled up beside him so he told him what he knew so far.  His boss nodded, going to do a search for cameras for him.  They liked the guys at the base and Abby was well liked in town, even if she was a bit strange.

***

Xander and John Winchester came out of the armory when a male voice yelled Xander's name.   "Damn you're loud," he complained.

"Boy, how dare you thwart me!" he screamed, pulling up magic.

John shot him with the colt.  No effect.

Xander shot him with his special bullets.  Those made him scream and fade out.  "He wasn't a demon."

John looked at him.  "Who was he?"

"Varcher.  The one who was the power player before Anya let me wish up a bit of bad luck for his plans for DCIS and all of us."  He grinned.  "We should see if my bullets in the colt work as well."

"We might.  Next time we have a chance."  They went inside to look at them.  They were made to fit it too.  It might help.  "Why did he want us?"

"He's a Fallen," Xander said quietly.  "Tried to pick a third side."  John moaned.  "We're all a bit dark and a bit light so he wants a war group."  They shared a look.  "Still not a great idea."

"True."  They finished up their present job, heading into the caf for dinner.  They had an extra table for the extra guests but it was good for them.

Daniel looked over.  "I heard a gun shot?"

"Varcher showed up.  The relic bullets I made worked on him when the colt didn't."

"Good work, you two.  Thank you."  They sat down and did a visual check of their table.  Jack Junior was at the end of their table with some of the older girls who were talking about their off-base calls.  Buffy was listening to the trio that had went on retrieval.  It was good for them.  Cook nodded, bringing out the rolling tray of food.  He stood up and helped her place the first turkey.  There was going to be a lot of them around the dining hall.  He cut the one for their table.  John and Dean stared each other down for the right to cut for their table.  Buffy pouted but John took it to carve anyway.  Xander was snickering quietly over Buffy's pout.  She punched him on the arm and Dawn swatted her.  So it was normal over there.  The girls let John cut the second and third ones too.  Dean got the ham that appeared.  The girls all cooed at that and took slices.  John let the last one stay whole for a bit.  They dug in and talked, relaxed and calm for now.  It was a good sign for the future.

The End.

back to crossover index

Demon Criminal Investigative Service: Making New Allies.

Daniel looked up as the two men walked up to the table he was waiting at.  "Good morning, gentlemen."

"Doctor Jackson.  We have a plan for how to integrate your agency with ours," one said, handing over something.

Daniel looked at it then at him, shaking his head as he handed it back.  "Jack O'Neill and I worked out how to cushion your departments under our R&D lab months ago, gentlemen.  The president's already agreed to our plan."  He sipped his tea, smiling at the woman coming over. "Ma'am."

"Good morning, gentlemen," she said, putting her briefcase down before sitting down.  She looked at them. "It's not my usual assignment for the president but he decided if I can handle balky heads of state I can handle this integration issue smoothly," she noted.

Daniel handed over his.  "This is the one Jack and I submitted months ago."

"Why weren't we told?" the second man sneered.

Daniel gave him the most bland look.  "Because the first act is for Jack to take a team and go over both the NID and Area 51's labs to check for ethical issues and other projects that may compromise human life," he said dryly.

"O'Neill hates scientists," the first man complained as he sat down.  "Our plan makes much more sense."

She looked at it then shook her head.  "It would compromise national security, gentlemen.  Letting out the project O'Neill is over, compromising the slayers.  No."  She looked at Daniel's plans. "Jack's taking them?"

"Jack has the clearance to get into even the most classified of projects.  Horatio and Mac used to run their own labs.  He's also selected Sam Carter to advise them and Abby is finding an oversight person for them to report to so she's not overloaded.  I think she has one but she may have only weeded it down to two or three candidates."  He sipped his tea.  "Anyone want some?" he offered, holding up the pot.

"Please," she agreed.  Daniel poured her some once she turned the waiting cup over.  "Thank you.  Sugar?"  He handed over the small pot.  She smiled and added a lump then stirred it before taking a sip.  "This is excellent."

"That's why I chose here.  I don't get off base very often at the moment."  He looked at the other two.  "Beyond the fact that you're never going to have a slayer to do *tests* on, because they will destroy you, and if they don't the Slayers Council will, I don't want you to have access to any classified records coming off Jack's project.  Who knows what you'd do with it.  Your agencies in the past have caused untold issues for that project, my project, and actually Mr. Harris said to tell the head of the NID he said hi and asked how many more Initiative style bases they have to raid."

That man shuddered.  "We acted to stop them."

"The humans and demons they had?" she asked him.

"Weren't an issue."

"In other words, Jack's going to find records of them being euthanized?" she asked.  They glared.  "The way the amendment to that bill read, you're all going in under DCIS, boys.  Doctor Jackson is well within his rights to have someone capable examine your records for faulty thinking that nearly got parts of Colorado shut down.  Not to mention when you nearly destroyed allies and other issues that could have cost humanity everything."  They slumped a bit.

"Or how both agencies have both participated in the last few apocalypses," Daniel said dryly, giving her a look.  "We had a tip that NID was aware of the invasion and the issues in Miami and sat back to watch it. Perhaps even encouraged some small groups to get them to destroy each other."

She looked at him.  "Is that true?"

"Not as far as I'm aware."

Daniel handed over the first sheet of paper in his briefcase.  "Really?  That's your memo.  Isn't it?" he asked with a small smirk.   He was learning bad habits from Xander again.  He was enjoying threatening him a bit too much.  Jack walked in.  "Just in time, Jack."

"Thanks, Danny."  He sat down and poured himself some coffee, taking a lump of sugar too.  "Where are we so far?"

"They have their own plan but it would guarantee them access to all your records, personnel and scientific, and mine."

"No way in hell," Jack said dryly.  "I'll have someone trash the system first."

"My people, and the ISC people especially, have issues with either group gaining access to their personnel records," Daniel agreed.  "Their history and reputations proceed them."

She looked at him.  "Are you going to humor them?"

"All DCIS personnel records are my eyes only," he said firmly.  "As proven when someone broke in to steal two folders and then he had the worst luck."

She laughed.  "I remember.  That was amusing."  She looked at the two, now very pale men.  After a minute she smiled.  "I'm going to be blunt, gentlemen.  My mother would be appalled but there's a time for being blunt.  Which one of you are sucking the demon cock?"  Jack spluttered.  Daniel pointed at one.  "You're sure?"  Daniel handed over the files he had on them.  "How long have you known?"

"Angel asked some people for us.  In the third folder is a list of the projects the demons know that are a present threat to them or the world."

"They're demons!" one hissed.  "How can you stand up for them?"

"Apparently they were here first," Daniel shot back coolly.  "My agency is very committed to stopping any harmful interaction.  Whether it be between clans or groups or from humans or demons starting it.  As long as they want to be law abiding citizens I don't care what they look like.  As a matter of fact, most of their laws are much more strict.  They have a great many more death penalty offenses than humans do.  They've managed to live in hidden enclaves for centuries and managed to mostly be peaceful that whole time.  There's ancient writings from the old Watchers Council that are written in many ancient languages that said they were here first.  We shoved them out of the way too."

She looked at him. "How ancient?"

"Some are pictographic languages.  The earliest forms of Egyptian, Hebrew, and Summerian all have evidence that states it was passed down by verbal accounts until writing was started.  The Watchers have been around since they made the first slayer during hunting and gathering society times.  They simply had to hide it for the good of the populace who couldn't deal with the thoughts."

"Some still do," she agreed.

"Which is why we were created.  To be the DMZ between the two worlds.  That way neither side hurts the other," Daniel reminded her.  "We included demon-on-demon crimes as well when their own system reports it as it often ends up impacting humans."

"And the occasional take over attempt of the world," Jack agreed.

"Exactly," Daniel agreed with a smile for him.  "Plane late?"

"Long line for landing.  We had to circle three times.  How's Harris?"

"He's good.  Finally calmed down.  The boys took the chocolate fondue pot that created the hyperactivity from last time.  His ex has been too busy to come back too."  He got himself some new tea.  "The new training classes are going all right.  This second group has a lot of office worker types so John's having a lot more to do with this group.  Brenda's been doing very good training them with him."

"Good.  She was a nice girl," Jack agreed.  "It's cute how Winchester adopted her."

Daniel smiled.  "He's been teaching her how to tinker with engines like he and the boys do.  Dawn's been complaining about grease smears on the walls when she's done."  Jack laughed at that.

The Secretary of State coughed.  "I know you two are former coworkers."

"We are," Daniel agreed.  "It lets us work together very well.  That's why it only took us a weekend to settle into adjustment plans.   Most of my people know him fairly well and respect him already.   Even Abby likes him."

"She's a cute, nice girl," Jack agreed.  "Even if she does babble faster than I think sometimes."

"She's even cuter with McKay when she makes him blush," Daniel said with a grin for his buddy.

The Secretary of State gave him an odd look.  "McKay is dating your Abby?"

"As far as I can tell.  They've been on a few dates since they're down for a conference at the moment.  They've been friends since the weekend they met."

Jack nodded.  "McKay thought of her like a neat girl who was somewhere between amazing, his level, and a little sister to him.  They went out before Thanksgiving for the first time.  I saw him giggling at her.  They're adorable together."  He sipped his coffee.

"What *are* you people smoking?" the head of Area 51 sneered.  "Rodney McKay would *never* be able to date anyone, much less a forensic geek!"

Jack opened his phone and typed in a number then listened.  "McKay, get in here.   The guy who used to be over you decided you can't date Abby.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Sheppard will keep his leash tightly in his hand."  Rodney came in and started to yell and screech at his former boss, hitting him a few times too.

Sheppard coughed.  "No physical abuse," he complained.

"No, we have arrest warrants for them," Daniel said.  "He can beat them until they're in custody."

The Secretary of State gave him an odd look.  "You do?"

"The FBI agents protecting this meeting do," he told her.  "They said something about parts for fun and profit, some killing for fun and rituals?"  She moaned, shaking her head.  "They planned on picking them up on the way out.  Once they've updated their people.  That way no one was too embarrassed."

"That's nice of them but still," she decided.  "Agent in charge please?" she called.  A female agent leaned in.  "Are you in charge?"

"Yes, ma'am."  She walked in and shut the door behind her once she had shoved the two guys from Atlantis out to calm down.  "We've been listening, just in case, as Agent Harris ordered, ma'am.  We were going to arrest them on the plane so no one in the administration had to be embarrassed by them and they were headed in the right direction anyway."

"What sort of charges?"  She handed over something.   She read it over then handed it back with a grimace.  "That is certainly bad."

"Yes, ma'am."

"How did we get this information?"

"Xander asked Angel and our LA FBI liaison to do a bit of searching when he heard rumors about them," the agent told him.  That got a nod and a look at Daniel.

"I didn't tell him to dig.  Xander's run into NID before, ma'am," he reminded her.  "They still tried to blame the first group for rescuing all the beings they had to experiment on."  Jack turned green but sipped his coffee.  "I do not know why they had the agents listen in."

She pulled something out of the back waistband of Area 51's head.   It was put onto the table and the Secretary of State gave the odd looking gun a look then her.  "What does it do?" she asked.

"We have no idea but Harris had heard rumors about it being advanced technology of some sort that could do more damage than a laser weapon."

Jack took it to look over then fired it at a chair.  The energy tentacle that came out destroyed where it touched, leaving a charred mass.  "I'd say."  He put it back down on the table.  "Who was that for?" he asked.

"Anyone who stands in the way of us protecting everyone," the head of Area 51 said, standing up.

"Do sit down," the agent said, shoving him back down.  "You're a disgrace to this country and you're not protecting us by doing evil things to beings that may or may not be more intelligent than you are."  She looked at the Secretary of State.  "Did you want us to embarrass people, ma'am?  I can take them now."

"Do so."  She nodded, getting her agents in to take them away.  "Thank you.  I would like to know what else they had planned."

"Of course.  Once I know you will."  She followed her people out.

"Fercryin'outloud," Jack muttered.  "Danny, can't we have a normal meeting?"

"Apparently Xander doesn't think so," he shot back dryly, giving him a look.  "I didn't plan that."

"How would Harris know?" the Secretary of State asked calmly.

"He gets these 'just in case' feelings," Daniel told her.  "Like the Miami situation a few months back, he had the thought he needed to bring artillery, just in case, and move from the motel they were in, just in case it was attacked."

"Ah."  She nodded once, sipping her tea.  "That's a handy gift."

"It can be," Daniel agreed.

"He alerted us to an attempted invasion.  I put the base in lock down and it didn't come from the standard area so I removed the lock down.  The guys up top told us that they had stopped the attempted invasion the day before so it was all right."

She laughed.  "That's a very handy gift to have."  Daniel nodded before finishing his tea.  "All right, gentlemen.  This plan is comprehensive?"

"It links them into us but gives security protocols for wherever is needed," Daniel told her.  "It allows for the chain of command to mostly stay intact.  It doesn't change very much, simply shifts some of the funding and responsibility for oversight to my desk.  Jack's taking over as AD over the covert sections of DCIS, which would be his project for the most part. Abby's hiring an oversight person with McKay and Carter's help.  They've both given her lists of researchers to start looking at based on their current projects.  Jack's taking some of my people and Sam Carter to do that."

"It's a good plan.  It addresses most issues but I don't see much that can help other intelligence agencies?"

Daniel shrugged.  "If they need it, all they have to do is ask, ma'am," Daniel assured her. "We told one of them that at the symposium and I know it got around. Abby's gotten a few calls about CIA logging in issues.  She pointed out they didn't have access and granted them limited access to the case files but nothing else because it's not something they need to use.  If they do, they can call since we do live on base.  As can any other covert agency.  It's not like we don't have people in the library and the lab who can answer any possible questions, probably within an hour."

"That's a good turn around."  She considered it.  "Calling in?"

He nodded.  "Definitely.  They can call me, call her, or call Harris for all I care.  A few covert agents did call Xander yesterday to identify the demons in the neighborhood they were doing a bust in.  That one took two hours because there wasn't a good description on the one species of demon family that was visiting.  Once they had it, he faxed over the pertinent details.  Though the books were incorrect, one did have the gift of creating fire and we did not know.  That has been changed."

She nodded.  "That sounds reasonable."

"We do it for any department that calls in," Daniel told her.  "They call to identify something or the remains of something.  They call Abby when they get strange results that aren't something she's published already."

"Excellent.  It's a working system?"

"Sometimes cold cases take later slots because of current cases," Daniel admitted.

"More agents needed?" she suggested.

"We're pretty good with what we have.  Now and then we could use another one or two but most of the time we let the slayers prove they're field worthy with some lighter field cases in their areas.  They do what we would and it proves they're ready for a patrol position.  They go out with one of the trainers."

"I've heard that's handled some of the lesser issues.  Mostly issues a slayer would face?"

"Mostly spirit manifestations.  It's a Winchester family specialty, ma'am," Daniel told her.  "Any vampires certainly.  Anything where we have to take them on a team case can also qualify them but most teams want to take the girls who have experience."

"That's reasonable," she agreed, tapping her fingers on the plan.  "Did the president already approve of yours?"  They both smirked and nodded.  "When?"

"The weekend after we got it done," Jack told her.  "I have no idea why they called this meeting to try to strong-arm us, ma'am.  We've told them when we'd be starting the integration."  Sheppard walked back in from taking Rodney out for some air.  "They arrested them."

"Good.  It means they won't jump personnel from the base for fun and profitable human experiments again."  He sat down.  "Our computers are not going to talk to yours," he told Daniel.  "Rodney has *no* idea why."

"Abby does.  It's the new software update you guys just installed.  It was put in with a twist to the left according to her.  She's walking him through why later."

"It'll cut into his giggling time with her but okay.  As long as it works and we don't lose anything," he decided with a small shrug.

"Backups?" Daniel suggested.

Sheppard shrugged again.  "I'm guessing we did.  I don't handle that issue.  Mine was.  Twice so I had a saved copy I couldn't copy over when I do the next one.  I do that once a month."

"That's not a bad idea," Jack admitted.

"Ask Abby, Jack," Daniel said dryly.  "Yours are already working with ours.  I know she found out why their system isn't fully talking to yours was that update and thinks it's the same thing with ours."

Both Air Force men nodded at that.  The Secretary of State smiled.  "Letting the experts tell you how to do it?" she teased.

"This time.  I'm handling the translating issue in the library when I'm not in my office.  Thomas is putting everything on DVD for easier searching and to hand the cities with their own offices their own copies."

"Even better."  She smiled.  "How much longer for that one?"

"Probably just after Rupert Giles gets his Council Library set up."

She laughed. "Will he mind?"

"Probably not.  We have most of his done.  Some of the older sources Thomas brought up we don't.  We're still talking about which area needs those books.  Thomas is torn between staying a watcher and moving over to DCIS authority.  Giles is trying to claim the books but Xander is not stepping in at the moment.  Wesley is trying to mediate."

"Will it hamper things?" Jack asked.

"It could make research go faster to have it computerized.  Then again, we may have the money to go buy some collections that're coming open on the auction block next year according to Wesley.  Two researchers the Council used to lean on died and their estates are coming open through the probate courts.  Wesley said Rupert wants them but he's going to stick up for us getting them with some of the overage we'll have when we cut people who can't find ethics with a shovel, a guide, a compass, and a map."

"Remind Giles he'll have to live on what the Council presently has for money.  No more rich relatives dying and giving money," Jack told him.

"They have a good hundred million in investments," he countered.  His phone rang.  "Daniel....  What's wrong, Xander?"  He listened, taking Jack's coffee to drink.  "Why did it come to you?"  He smiled.  "Sure, go ahead and call.  Let me get you a number.  I'll call back."  He hung up, looking at the woman with them.  "Xander was just tipped off to a possible nuclear device near LA.  He needs to know who to call since he doesn't think our FBI liaison can deal with it quietly."

She opened her phone and called the office.  "Get the Chief of Staff to give me a number immediately.  Agent Harris got a tip about a possible nuclear weapon near LA.  He needs a quiet person to look at it."  She nodded, taking his phone to dial it for him.  "Thank you."  She hung up and called that number.  "This is the Secretary of State.  I'm calling from DCIS Director Jackson's phone.  One of his agents got a tip about a nuclear device outside LA.  He needs someone quiet to look at it.  I can do that.  What's his number?"  Daniel got into his phone book to let her read it off.  "There you go.  Please."  She hung up and erased that call for him.  She handed it back with a smile.  "It's nice he didn't want to panic people."

"LA's agents are still skittish after the invasion," Daniel offered.  "They don't want to deal with it."

"Good point."  She looked at the second plan again.  "Let me..."  Jack used the tentacle gun to destroy it, making her laugh.  "That works well enough I suppose."

"We can replace the table and chair, ma'am," he said.

"Good boys."  She stood up and gathered things together.  "I'll let him know it's going well.  When are you doing the investigation?"

"Right after New Years.  Once Jack's formally retired from command at the base and has moved into his apartment on base."

"I am?" Jack asked.

"If you want to lead from Colorado, you can," Daniel offered.  "But I was going to give you one of the new ones going up."

He shrugged. "I'll tell you by Christmas.  I'm not sure if I can handle unicorns and cute slayers all the time."  She walked out laughing.  He looked at Daniel.  "You good?"

"I'm pretty decent," he said with a smile.  "The girls are back in school.  Things have mostly been quiet."  His phone rang again.  "What's wrong, Xander?"  He smiled.  "Are they sure it's their own information leak?"  He nodded slowly.  "You know what?  Have him come check it in person.  Even in disguise or something.  Sure.  Thanks, Xander."  He hung up.  "It's their information leak to target someone."

"How did Harris hear?"

"A tip from someone who tipped one of the slayers."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Good!"  He stood up.  "Got the check?"

"When I came in."  He put down money for the table and chair, heading out with him. "I put down a deposit for anything that's in need of repair.  Let me know if there's more," he told the waiter.  He got a fast nod so he walked out to his rental car.  Jack got in with him and they headed off to the airport together.  Jack could hitch a ride back to the base for the night.

***

Xander looked at the guy walking into the warehouse.  It was the same agent who had come to check out their armory.  "I checked, your tip was halfway across the neighborhood."

"It was."  He looked at the box.  "What's in that?"

"No trip wires, I checked.  One of the local arms dealing clans turned this site into one of the local slayers because they were going to steal it until they found that box and the blue box in the back."

"Should I have a team?" he asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I have no idea what your protocol is.  That's why I called.  That and so the press doesn't hear and no other agents have to panic."

"Can we confiscate this warehouse?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't care.  Less paperwork for me."

The other agent smirked.  "Good point."  He went to check the box for the less obvious traps then looked inside, moaning a bit.  "Not nuclear."

"No, I'm sitting on top of that one," Xander told him.  He got an odd look.  "It's covered.  Besides, with my freaky luck it'll be infected by me and won't go off," he finished with a grin.  "Because I can diffuse lesser bombs but not this sucker.  Go look at the blue box first."  He went to look and Xander snickered at the whimper he got for it.  "See, saving the best for last."  He hopped down and held up the string he had been holding.  "The only trip wire I found.  I did not lift it."

"Good to know."  He came over to investigate then nodded, opening the top of the crate.  He let out a low, deep moan that made Xander hum in appreciation.  "That's bad."

"That's very bad."  Xander looked.  "And it's only got about four hours left.  I have no idea how to deal with that.  If you had been ten minutes longer I'd have called Don Epps."

"No, this was a good call to us," he assured him.  He stepped back and called it in.  "It's me.  I have a dirty bomb with four hours, twenty minutes at my location.  I also have a warehouse full of weapons and two serious threats beyond the bomb.  I need a defusing team ASAP."  He rattled off the location and hung up.  "What does the wire go to?"

"No clue but I'm not chancing it.  I'd look horrible if I glowed."

"Probably," he agreed with a slight smirk.  This kid was strange, but okay.  No matter what the other agents whispered.  "So, how do you like DCIS?"

"It's cool.  It works well with my experience.  I get to have some fun.  The group's like a huge family for the most part.  The new guys they're giving us after the new year I'm not too thrilled about but Daniel assured me they'd be dealing with NID before they got access to our labs."  He heard the door open and reached for his gun, tying the trip wire off automatically when the guys coming in had guns too. "Yours?"

"No.  Freeze, Federal Agents!" he shouted.  He hit his emergency switch on his phone.  The guys opened fired.  Xander shot back, using the crate as cover.  Two went down.  One ran.  The agent ran after him, getting his car.  He called it in and the LAPD could stop him.  They had more important issues to deal with here.  He walked in.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  It's a small graze."  He looked at the bomb.  "Um, the timer's going a lot faster."

Jack looked then moaned.  "Not the trip wire?"

Xander showed the slack still in it.  "No."

"Shit!"  They uncrated it and Xander found his pocket knife so they could call in and figure out how to disarm the sucker before it blew in under thirty minutes.  It took forty- five to get there from his office.  Not a good thing.

The defusing team stomped in.  "Got it already, guys," Xander said, waving them over.  "It got hit with a bullet and started to age faster."

They looked and took it to put into the truck.  The rest of the warehouse was crated up and removed.  The bodies too.  The other agent looked at Xander.  "Heading home?"

"Got to check on my girls.  One's due around Easter."  He grinned. "Then I'm headed home for a long soak in the tub.  What's the protocol on reports?"

"Tell your boss but don't write it down anywhere it can be found," he ordered.

"Done deal once I get home."  He shook his hand.  "You need us, you call.  We'll yelp for you if we need you."  He walked out, heading to his rental car he had hidden up the street.  The dealer clan was watching so he shrugged.  "Many bad things," he said in their language, getting a nod.  "Thank you.  We needed to hear."

"Even we don't deal with that."

Xander smiled.  "Next time, tell that guy?"  They nodded, watching the agents.  They could find him.  They had a vast network of spies, relatives, and friends who could help.  Xander drove over to the Hyperion, heading inside.  Crissy squealed and pounced.  "Ooof, Crissy.  She weighs a ton!"  He picked her up to spin her.  "You're still too tiny."

"I am not!  I'm a huge trailer!"  She swatted him.  "What was it?"

"Very bad weapons.  I handed it over to someone more qualified."  He grinned.  "How are you and her?"

"We're good."  She looked down, stroking her stomach.  Then she looked at him.  "I found a nice guy."

"Good!  We like nice guys."

"You can't steal him," Gunn complained.  "We like the guy."

Xander smirked.  "He's probably not dangerous enough for me if he's a nice guy," Xander shot back.  He patted her stomach, getting kicked.  "She's a strong little princess like Dawn."

"She isn't a slayer?" she asked, looking hopeful.

He shrugged.  "We won't know until she's six months old but I might bet on her not being one."  She beamed.  He made her sit down.  "No reports recently?"

"Nothing going on.  They're all hiding from someone huge who's trying to take control.  Angel's been working on him.  Alan wants me to hang out at the college more so he can't take me."

"I can agree with that reasoning but every demon knows if they come for one of you girls they get me."  She smiled and sniffled, hugging him.  "Shh, it's the hormones," he soothed, stroking her back and hair.  Morgan gave him a grin from the desk.  "Should I hear about this bigger thing?"

"We talked to Buffy.  She's coming out to help me and Cho," Morgan assured him.  "It's fine, Xander."  He nodded at that.  "Is Doctor House still there?"  He nodded.  "She wanted him to deliver the baby for some reason."

"She can come back to the base.  You guys all know that.  We can send replacements for you."

"Class schedule," Morgan said dryly.

"All the more reason to take a few days off," he shot back.

"I am for finals week.  Rona's coming out and so is one of the girls from the base."  That got a nod.  "We've already arranged it with Wes."  She winked.  The lights went off.  "Huh, I didn't know winking cut the electric.  I didn't think I was magical at all."

Xander called home.  "Dawn, me.  Come get Crissy immediately.  Someone's attacking the Hyperion."  He hung up and the portal opened in the school.  He gave Crissy a nudge, making her go through.  Dawn tossed him a bag then closed it.  He looked inside.  His emergency kit.  Dawn was a great sister.  He pulled out the spare bullets and everything else he'd need, putting the bag aside.  The demons rushed in.  Morgan and he opened fire with crossbows.  Gunn wasn't far behind but he had to call Fred and let her know.  Angel too.  Xander heard Spike coming down the stairs swearing and tossed him something.  "I got spares from Dawn," he said at the odd look Spike shot him.

"Love the nibblet sometimes," Spike said dryly, diving into the melee.  Gunn creased his arm with a bolt but it wasn't fatal and he wasn't wearing his duster.  The head demon came in with his elite guards and Spike sneered.  "Look, storm troopers," he said dryly.

"I'm so proud I warped you enough to make the Star Wars joke," Xander shot back, opening fire on the new demons.  He switched to his service revolver since the bolts didn't help.  They went down with screams.  He could hear sirens. "Normals incoming!" he called.  He felt something odd around him and looked.  "Evacuate!" he yelled.  "Bomb!"  They ran out and Xander got the last demon before the bomb went off, pulling Spike out with him.  They rolled into the parking lot, Spike rolling under a nearby car to get out of the sun.  He looked around.  "Morgan!"  No answer.  "Gunn!"

"She was behind me!"

Xander looked then started to move but a cop stopped him.  "The slayer's still in there!" he said hotly.

"That's our job, sir."

"Bullshit.  I'm ISC and DCIS.  It's *my* job, Junior."  He got free and headed in, looking around before grabbing her and carrying her out.  He coughed.  "She needs help.  She was knocked down by the explosion.  The fire's nowhere near the library so it can be saved."  The fire department pulled up and an ambulance got her and him into it.  He panted into the oxygen mask, watching as they helped her.  He tugged on one's arm, moving the mask.  "Her name is Morgan Beatrix.  She's a slayer.  Call the local liaison.  He's got her medical history."  That got a nod and they took her off.  He declined to go.  He went to sit next to where Spike was hiding.  "What the fuck was he?" he asked quietly.

"Master demon.  Not ancient but older.   His clan lords over part of the Commie parts of the world," Spike said.  "You good?"

"I took my invincible pills this morning," he quipped back then coughed.  "Why come here?"

"Come to America, get rich," he said dryly.

"Uh-huh," Xander said dryly.  "Was that the one over Angel?"  He looked around.  "Speaking of, where is he?"

"Was napping and coming down after me," Spike admitted.

"Guys, we may have a friendly ally inside," Xander shouted.  "He's really pale and allergic to sunlight?"

"There's a small glowing spot at the top of the stairs and he's in there," one shouted back.  "The fire crew said so."

"Wonderful," Xander said, smiling at him.  "I'll deal with them later."  That got a dirty look so he looked at Gunn, then at Connor since he was jogging over.  He coughed a few more times then made himself stand up.  "Angel's in a glowing portal."

Gunn looked at the building.  "I'm having deja vu."

"Me too," Connor agreed quietly, staring.  The larger demon's corpse was shoved outside.  "Huh.  What happened to him?"

"Blessed silver," Xander wheezed, bending over to catch his breath.   He finally straightened up, looking at them.  "Any ideas, guys?"

They shook their heads.  "Nope," Connor said.

Fred held up a hand.  "Can we have an investigation, Xander?"  He tossed over his phone.  She dialed the main number. "Hi, Timmy.  It's Fred in LA.  Our hotel just got bombed.  Angel got removed by a glowing portal he's stuck in and we nearly died.  The new demon trying to take over LA got killed by Xander but he's coughing up a lung right now.  Can we have a team?"  She smiled.  "Thank you.  Sure, we'd like that."  She hung up and nodded at Xander then at Connor.  "Tim said to knock him out.  Dawn'll move him in about ten minutes to the infirmary."  Xander didn't hear because he was once again leaning down to try to breathe better.

"Sure."  He grabbed him to do that.  When the portal opened he heaved him over to the waiting agents.  "He's coughing up nasty crud from the smoke."

"He went into the fire to get Morgan out," Gunn told them.  That got a nod and they handed him off then came through to take over the case.

Mac looked at the building then at them.  "From the top, Gunn?  What's been going on?"

Gunn sat on the hood of the car Spike was under.  Spike complained about him sitting on his beloved DeSotto, but oh well.  Gunn went over it from the start, then to Angel supposedly being behind Spike until the portal apparently sucked him in.  By that time the fire crew was done.  He looked at them.   "How long before we can remove personal effects?" he asked the one stomping over.

"What were you guys doing?" he demanded.

"The corpse over there tried to take us out," Gunn countered.  "They wanted to take over LA and we're the first line of defense, backing up the local slayers."

The fireman moaned, shaking his head. "Next you'll tell me DCIS is coming?"  Mac held up his badge.  "How long have you been here?"

"The dark-haired, coughing guy is one of them and ISC," Gunn said patiently.  "They invaded while Xander was here so he helped us take them out.  He somehow knew about the bomb and warned us so we got out.  All but Morgan, who he went back in to find."  That got a slow nod. "She's been taken to the ER.  Somehow Angel was trapped in that portal or whatever."

"We're in to see what's going on," Mac said calmly.  "Xander can tell when there's a pertinent safety issue."

"His 'just in case' feeling," Connor agreed.  "It's helped in a few base invasions during the early days of DCIS."

Mac nodded.  "So we all heard."  He looked at the fireman again.  "When can we get a  report?"

"Probably tomorrow.  We have a good investigator."

Mac smiled.  "Of course you do.  LA has plenty of fires."  That got a nod.  "Good work, guys.  Thank you for your help."  They shook hands and the fire crew left.  They left a truck there in case something flared up in the next hour or so but that was fine.  Mac looked at Gunn.  "We can check on Morgan for you guys."

"Xander wheezed out to talk to Don," Fred said.

"Even better."  He smiled at her.  "What do we know about that one?"  They settled in to tell him and his team what had been going on with that specific problem and the rest of the unrest in the city it was causing.  Lorne hurried over but the cops only gave him a few odd looks for his garishly bright suit.  Mac got more information from him too.

***

House looked up as Danny Messer carried in Xander.  "What happened?"

"He had to go into a burning building to find Morgan," he reported, laying him on a bed.  "He's coughing and wheezing.  Looks like someone knocked him out."

"Get me the oxygen," he ordered.  The nurse got it for him.  "What was burning and why was he in LA?"

"Someone reported a possible nuclear device," Danny said.  "As for the fire?  Mac's team went.  It was the Hyperion."  Crissy burst out crying.  "Hey, no, it's not destroyed, princess."  He gave her a hug.  "They had it mostly out when they switched Xander for the team."  She sniffled, staring at him.  "No one said Morgan was really hurt.  You can call Don and ask, all right?"  She nodded, doing that.  He walked off, going to tell the boss and then the Winchesters.  Daniel was with them so it was easier.  "Guys."  They stared at him, stopping the armory argument about who was supposed to make bullets and clean guns.  "The Hyperion was attacked while Xander was out there.  Xander's got smoke inhalation in the infirmary.  Mac's team went with Don, Stella, and Jorge, the new guy ATF sent over."  That got a nod from Daniel.  "No idea what's going on yet.  Crissy's callin' Don Epps to check on Morgan."

"Do we think this has to do with the report he got earlier?" Daniel asked calmly.

"No, Morgan called to get a replacement for final's week and warned Wesley that they were having an attempted overlord making moves," John told him.  "It's probably him."

"Didn't see Angel," Danny told him.

"Let me call Connor," John decided, heading inside to do that with the others following.  "Connor, John Winchester.  Morgan and everyone else all right?"  He listened and smiled, making notes.  "That's good to know.  Let us know if you need more girls out there.  Sure, I can do that.  Call if you need us."  He hung up and used his cellphone to call the school.  "It's Winchester.  I need you to release Sarabeth from classes for a few days.  She's going on slayer assignment along with Veronica and Amber."  He nodded.  "That'll be fine.  Please do.  LA.  Sure.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Boys, meet them at the gate."  He copied his notes to hand to them.  Dean jogged off to meet the girls to brief them on the way in to pack.  He handed it to Daniel.  "Not pretty."

Daniel read it over, nodding slowly.  "Who took Angel?"

"No clue yet.  The fire's barely out.  Still too hot to go inside."

"Okay," he decided.  "I'll get constant updates from Mac and Stella."  He went to make sure they knew to do that then went to check on Xander.  "Is he all right?"

"He'll be fine with some rest and oxygen," House assured him. "Three or four grazes.  I can't get him to move so I can check the one under his beltline.  He keeps trying to swat when I try.  Smoke inhalation.  What happened?"

"An attempted overlord."  He looked at Crissy.  "Mac needs to know what you know about it."

"I'll call Stella?"

"Sure, call Stella."  She did that; since Stella was questioning someone so she got to talk to Don instead.  She liked Don Flack.  He was a nice guy and didn't try to pat her tummy on her.  Daniel looked at Xander's limp body.  "Need help undressing him?"

"I'd be mean and ask the girls," he said dryly.  Xander swatted weakly at him.  "You, quit.  I've got to take off the jeans, Xander."  Xander undid his belt, then his button and zipper, toeing off his shoes for him.  "Good enough."  He slid them off him and tossed them with the other stuff.  Xander got a blanket for now.  "Leave the mask on."  Xander mouthed something.  "Crissy, Xander wants to know how Morgan is as soon as they know."

"She's fine.  Don Epps is sitting with her and she's okay."

"See?" House said.  "She's got a normal ER around her."

Xander nodded and let himself drift off again.

"This is not going to make anyone happy," Daniel decided.  He went to check in with the other teams they had out doing things.

Crissy came over to cuddle up next to Xander.  He needed a cuddle and so did she.  House gave her an odd look.  "The baby quits kicking when she cuddles him.  He's very calming to me."

"Uh-huh."  John stomped in.  "Cuddle him instead."

"No thanks.  Crissy,  you need a bed?"  She pouted but nodded.  "We can fix that, sweetheart."  He looked at her.  "You're getting huge."  She glared.  "Not saying you're fat, but Mary went through that same stage.  She was pretty skinny one day and then looked really pregnant the next."

She pouted, patting the baby.  "She's being good, John."

"Good.  It's a good habit to start.  Your old room's open or you can have one of the ones downstairs but the bathroom's still upstairs."

"No, I need the bathroom."

"I thought I'd ask.  Mary had that too."  He helped her up.  "The girls going to LA need briefed."  She nodded, kissing Xander on the forehead before walking out leaning on his arm.  Sam hugged her.  "Doesn't she look good?"

"She does.  She looks really cute."  She beamed at him.  "C'mon, the girls are back."  They walked her in there, being careful of her on the stairs.  She went to the bathroom then went to brief the girls in Amber's room since she had the bigger one.  She fell asleep before she could finish but they got the rest from Connor when they landed thanks to Dawn.  Amber tucked her into her bed and let her sleep for now.  She clearly needed it.  Sam could guard her for a bit.

John went back to demonology.  "Sorry, ladies.  Small issue in LA that we're having to send reinforcements for."  Buffy stepped through the portal.  "You just missed the others."

"I'm going tonight."  She looked at the group then smiled.  "Hi, guys, I'm Buffy.  The longest slayer called.  I've been doing this since I was fifteen."  They all stared at that.  She nodded.  "I'm just over the date of choice."  She looked at John.  "How's Morgan?"

"Crissy said she's fine.  Some smoke inhalation.  A good egg on her head from something hitting her and knocking her out during the explosion."  Buffy scowled at that.  "A demon wanted to be LA's overlord."

"Uh-huh," she said dryly.  "Angel is where?"

"In a portal of some sort, stuck there," he told her.  She scowled.  "Mac's team is taking over the investigation since Xander has smoke inhalation from rescuing her."

"I can see that.  He's a good investigator with what he used to do."  She looked at the girls then at him.  "Can I talk to them?  Slayer to slayer?"

"Sure,"  he agreed, sitting down.  She had talked to the other group as well.

"I'm here to answer questions Faith hasn't about being a slayer.   Including any nosy questions.  I'm going to be one of the ones they send out to find the young potentials before they're called so I'm practicing on you guys."

Olivia raised her hand.  "Fifteen?"

She nodded.  "It sucks but that's when the girl before me died.  If I had been younger someone else might've been called.  We're not sure about that.  Usually it's whoever's closest to the problem area of the moment when the next one's called or if there's a special skill needed, like the girl whose daddy is bomb squad might be jumped into place if the Powers thought they needed that skill."

"Powers?" another asked.

"They're not God, but they like to play that they are," she said with a frown.  "The Powers That Be are all about keeping the balance going and all that.  Angel deals with them a lot more than we do.  We're only basically called by them and used as pawns when they need us to be.  I can't really say as I like them but they're there.  They won't answer questions or anything either.  They're like really high dungeon masters according to Xander.  Not the rule makers but the rule enforcers in some ways.  The ones making the chess moves."

That got a few nods.  "Did you get to do normal things?" Olivia asked.

Buffy shrugged.  "I tried a lot.  I did do most of them.  I lost all popularity when I got chosen.  I had been a cheerleader.  That lasted until I had to burn down the school gym because it was full of vampires."  They all shuddered at that.  "Then we moved to Sunnydale, the old Hellmouth.  I got to date now and then.  More often after I came out to my mom.  She was great about helping us until she died.  I got to have some really crappy boyfriends, did a year of college.  Went to dances and the prom.  All that stuff.  It's easier now with so many other girls to cover if you need a night off slaying for some fun.  Before I had to lie to my watcher or con Xander into it."

John gave her a dirty look.  "What did we learn from that?"

"That Xander could be bribed with ho-hos to do my patrols?" she said with a grin.  "He didn't do a bad job either."  He scowled.  "I know.  I took advantage of Xander.  We were all more innocent back then."  She looked at the girls.  "If you guys have friends who want to jump in, let them if they can do it.  It's what saved my butt time and again.  What brought me back to life two out of the three times.  There's a bad habit of slayers believing we're invincible because we're slayers.  I had that.  That and head up the butt syndrome really badly now and then.  Xander stuck by me even when I had it.  He's a great guy but if he ever gets too much chocolate, run."  A few laughed.  "Really."

John nodded.  "Really.  He fixed the pool, fixed the lab's walls, jogged to town and back twice, pounced his ex the night before.  We had to knock him out."

Buffy looked at him.  "Anya?"

"She's doing Hallie's job.  She came down to visit.  Xander had a chocolate fondue pot."

She shuddered.  "Nuff said. Heard enough of Xander and Anya's sex life when they were together in Sunnydale."  She looked at them.  "I've worked with demons, former demons and present demons, and it's okay as long as they want to help.  Now and then Spike didn't want to but we fed him blood after he got chipped."

Olivia raised a hand slowly.  "You worked with some?"

"Yeah.  And dated one.  Angel was so hot when I was younger," she said with a small sigh.  "We're still good friends.  I'll be heading to LA later on.  After Dawn's recharged and out of class.  Then we helped Spike after he escaped from the Initiative.  Then he brought Clem, who's really cool.  He's in Cleveland helping us.  Angel has a buddy named Lorne who runs a karaoke bar but he can tell your future when you sing."  She shrugged a bit but grinned.  "He dresses *way* loud, like a lounge singer loud, but he's a nice guy.  Very sweet according to Fred.  She loves to have him help her."

John smiled at the confused looks.  "Not all demons are harmful.  There's whole societies of demons that just are, and some do have warrior aspects but as long as they're peaceful and not hurting anything or anyone, they're not slayer business."

That got a few nods.  Olivia raised her hand again.  "What's the hardest thing you fought?"

"Angel when he lost his soul.  Or the First Evil, but Angel was definitely an emotional blow."  They stared so she went over the whole story.  Including that Xander lied but she understood why now.  He had been right in some ways to do that.  That talk with her mother on Halloween had really helped her.  Buffy didn't see John waving off Dean when he leaned in to get them for weapons class.  She was babbling on about some of her past close calls.  She loved this part of talking to the new girls.

John smiled.  It was good for Buffy, made her grow up a bit more because she realized they all needed to be able to look up to her.  Pouting made them look at her funny.  It'd encourage good behavior.

***

Mac looked at the remains of the bomb.  "I've seen one of these before."

Stella looked over his shoulder.  Don too.  "Looks like the one that took out the crew that got put into a coma," Don said quietly.

Mac smiled.  "It does."  He called up that file to look at the pictures of the bomb that someone had taken.  Apparently local criminologists but that was fine with him.  They knew what they were doing.  It was the same bomb.  Angel was still frozen in the portal.  Buffy stepped out of another one.  "Evening, Buffy."

"Hi, guys.  Can I help or should I find the other girls?"

"Come help us for a second," Don ordered.  She came over to look.  "This is the same sort of bomb that the Watchers laid."

She shuddered.  "I'm glad I don't remember the explosion."

"Angel's still in the portal," Stella told  her.

She went to look, carefully walking over the burned areas.  She glanced into the library but it was cleared out.  She went up the stairs to find the guys were cleaning out their rooms.  "Need help?"

"Sure," Fred agreed.  She pointed.  "He's there."

She went to look, then shrugged and walked into it.  She looked at Angel.  She could tell he wasn't frozen.  "They tried to blow up the hotel."

He grimaced.  "I can't get out of here to go bite them."

She smiled.  "Xander got Morgan out."

"Good!"  He looked around.  "I have no idea what's going on."

She looked around too.  "It's pretty and swirly."

"The Oracles' realm looks like this only a bit lighter."

"Huh.  So the Powers wanted what to happen?"  They shared a look.  "Looks like they were saving you but not the others."

"Apparently," he sighed.  She turned him around and they walked out together.  He looked at the mess from the top of the stairs.  "That's going to take forever to fix."

"Maybe," she agreed.  "Everyone else is packing."  He went to do that too.  She went to help by hefting and toting, smiling at the slayers who came over to help.  "I was talking to the new ones."

"Did you scare any enough to make them give it up?" Amber joked.

"Two or three," she said happily.  "One was really freaked out about how young I was when I was called."  They all smiled at that.  Sometimes Buffy had a very unique outlook on life.  They finished loading all the stuff into the u-haul for Angel then went to find Connor to patrol with him.  He might as well be a male slayer.  Which brought up uncomfortable questions in her head.  "Hey, guys?  Do you think the slayer gene only goes to women or could it be there's male slayers hiding around?"

Connor gave her an odd look.  "Could've sworn the slayer spirit infected you girls, that it wasn't natural."

She shrugged. "Who said only girls got marked?"

He shook his head quickly.  "I leave all questions like that to Fred.  Ask her."

"I can do that.  Or ask Abby," she decided, happier again.

Sarabeth shook her head quickly.  "Maybe that's why Dean's such a good hunter?  John and Sam are good but Dean's great."

"Could be," Buffy agreed.

"Ladies, less chatting, more head cracking?" Connor nearly begged.  He wasn't used to chatty girls anymore.

"Yes, Connor," Amber sighed.  "Oooh, Buffy, Crissy said she found a new boyfriend."

She beamed.  "That's so cool!  Little baby hellion in there might have a real daddy after all!  Can we tell him she's back on base?"

"Already called," Connor assured her, sighing a bit at the end.

"Give!  What's he like?" Buffy said with a gentle shove, for her, when he didn't answer.

"Ask Charlie.  He set them up.  Look, vampires."  He pointed and they rushed to go slay them.  It was happier than chatting in his book but he did call Charlie to warn him one of the girls would pounce to meet Crissy's boyfriend before he jumped in too.

***

Don Epps looked at his little brother after he hung up.  The look on his face was strange.  "Big problems?"

"We have stand-in slayers who want to meet Crissy's boyfriend to threaten him with the shovel talk."

Don nodded slowly.  "Warn the guy.  That way Crissy doesn't lose him."

"I am."  He found his laptop and plugged it into the phone to write him an email.  "Buffy's one of the stand-ins.  I heard her chatting with the girls while they staked."

"Wonderful.  I'll expect a visit," Don said, stretching out on the couch so he could go back to the baseball game they were watching.  "Oh, come on!  That wasn't a foul ball!" he complained a minute later.

Charlie smiled.  Sometimes Don was so *normal* it amazed him.  Now all he needed to be was in his underwear and a undershirt with a beer in hand and a pair of tube socks scrunched down his ankles.

Alan came down the stairs from fussing over Morgan and went into the kitchen to do something in there.

***

Xander wandered into dinner that night and sat down, smiling at the soup that was put in front of him by Dawn.  "Thanks, Dawnster."

"Welcome, Xander.  Nothing too solid in case you start to cough again and then puke later."  She gave him a hug and sat down in her usual seat, looking at the girls.  "He's fine.  House isn't complaining about him escaping so he has to be."

"He's fine," Chase called from his seat.  "We actually released him this time."  The girls relaxed.  That meant they thought Xander was okay too.  They went back to eating and chatting.

John looked over at Xander.  "Daniel wanted a report on the weapons?"

"I'll give one in a few."  He gave him a weak smile.  "It wasn't just a tip," he said quietly.  John shuddered.  "Thankfully they have people to handle that."

"Good!"  He let Xander go back to eating his soup.  "Tired?"  Xander nodded.  "Report then hit the sack, Xander."

"I am, Dad."  He finished up a second bowl and some soda then went to report to Daniel.  "Hey."

Daniel put someone on hold.  "What happened?"

"The tip wasn't just a thread to draw someone.  That was on the other side of the area they were in.  I was told not to write a report that could get out."

"Agreed.  I know someone more covert got you since I had the Secretary of State call.  Sit, Xander.  You look like you're about to fall over."

"Am."  He sat down, stretching out.  "He got there and I showed him the two semi-bad things then the bomb I was sitting on top of.  It was in a crate and had a trip wire so I was holding that in case we had an earthquake or something.  He called for a team to turn the thing off but then guys broke in to shoot at us and one bullet hit the timer, causing a short that made it run faster.  So we disarmed the switch and then the team took it."  Daniel let out a small moan.  "They felt the same way when they found the warehouse.  I told him he could have it, that one of our sort of cases had tipped me but said they didn't own it.  So he's got a lot of work going on that.  Then I went to the Hyperion to be attacked apparently."

"I've been talking to Mac.  The overlord wannabe you got is dead.  They made sure of it.  His family is still pushing for control and the portal that took Angel was reported by him to look a lot like the Oracle's realm.  They're working on that right now."

Xander nodded slowly.  "Wonderful."

"Very.  But everyone's fine.  Morgan's with the Epps.  Don said his father was in full fussing mode and so was Cordette.  They've called Crissy's boyfriend for her."  That got a smile.  "The stand-ins out there are off hunting with Connor."

"I was using my service piece on him when the crossbows failed," Xander told him.

"Huh."  He took the call off hold.  "Stella, Xander said he was using his service piece on that one demon.  Blessed silver or holy water?" he asked.

"Blessed silver.  I did a pretty classic head shot then a chest shot.  I don't know which killed it."

Daniel repeated that then nodded.  "That'll be fine, Stella.  Let us know.  Also, if you get an agent from a covert group asking questions, Xander was helping him earlier in the day with the weapons tip he got given by a dealer clan.  Sure, them.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They'll be careful and watch for him in case he shows up."  Xander nodded, yawning.  "Go to bed, Xander."  He nodded more quickly and went to do that.  Daniel wrote the classified part of the report, leaving it at the vague details Xander had given him then sealed it off.  Just so they'd know.  Abby had thoughtfully retrieved that deleted number for him in case they ever needed it again.

***

When Xander trudged into breakfast the next morning, Chase gave him a long look then smirked.  "Come down for bloodwork, Xander."  That got a groan but a nod.  "Thank you."  He took his down there to get what he wanted ready.  House gave him an odd look.  "Xander still looks like hell."

"We're pulling blood in case something was tipped with a poison?"  Chase nodded, taking Xander when he came in.  House watched then retrieved the reports since he was closest to the printer.  "Not a bad idea to do that.  Give him the anti-venom neither of us can pronounce in the purple bottle."

Chase gave him a dose and put him to bed so they could watch him.  Then he went to hand the reports to Daniel, who faxed them to Stella.

***

Stella found the warehouse from yesterday after finding the dealer clan.  She walked in and found a human in there.  "Are you the guy who was working with DCIS Agent Harris yesterday?"  He jumped, looking at her, shaking his head slowly.  "Do you work with him?"  She pulled her badge to show him.

"I do.  Why?"  He knew they were all strange so he wasn't surprised one had tracked him down but he had no idea how or why.

"Something in the situation yesterday exposed him to this venom.  We have an anti-venom available if he's been exposed too.  We don't know why or if it was here or the other scene he got injured on."  She handed the copy over.  "If it was here, that's the blood tests they ran to find it and I wrote the infirmary's number on the back."  She smiled.  "Also, does this dovetail with our investigation of the new attempted demonic overlord here in LA?"

"I hope not.  Our agency wouldn't like that."

"Us either," she assured him.  "If you think it might, my number's the second number.  It's to my cell.  We'll talk."  She smiled and walked off, leaving him to his fingerprinting.  "By the way, I'd use the green on that surface.  As a former CSI, it'd pick up better."  She let the door close behind her.

He swallowed.  That was one hell of a woman and a CSI too?  He called in.  "Sir, I just got talked to by a DCIS agent.  Female.  Curly hair.  Bonasera?"  He frowned.  "She said she was a former CSI.  Told me to use a different fingerprint powder.  That's her.  She said they found Harris, who had been in this warehouse yesterday and gave us the bust, was exposed to a venom here or at the other fight he got into.  She gave me the reports from the tests they ran.  They do have an anti-venom.  We do have the infirmary's number and her cellphone now.  I can do that."

He hung up and finished up then went back to the office to hand that in and the evidence to the forensic lab.  They'd get their agent some of the anti-venom and an extra vial just in case.  He replayed the whole conversation for them and the boss frowned but nodded if it did relate they'd need help.  They had *no* idea what to do with demons beyond blowing them up.  A few calls to the local tipsters had the whole team-in-residence's names and the local liaison's name.  It was good to know in case it did intersect.  The agent from yesterday did look a lot better once he'd had the anti-venom so it was a very good tip they had gotten.  "Figure out how it got you?"

"One of the grazes tested positive for it."  He sat down.  "How did we find out?"

"Stella Bonasera tracked me down to the warehouse and gave us the test information, plus the infirmary's number and her cellphone in case this problem leads back to the attempted overlord situation," the boss told him.

"Is that what took out the Hyperion?"  They nodded.  "They good?"

"Everyone's fine by reports," the agent from earlier said.  "She's one hell of a woman.  Told me to use a different fingerprint powder."

"She'd know.  She was a CSI," the boss told him.  He looked at his agent.  "Does it lead back?"

"Humans rented it but there's no telling if they were minions.  Last I knew we were chasing rental records."  They got handed over.  "That's got to be a demon name.  I've never seen that string of letters together before in any human language."  Stella's number was handed over.  "I'll get with her later.  Who else would know?"

"We have their local liaison's number, he's FBI, or there's a team of three former NYPD officers and a former ATF person out to investigate the overlord thing," the boss told him.

"Let me find them.  They'd probably have more idea since they're in on the case."  He went to find her by cellphone GPS chip.  He could show up where she was.  She was...shopping?  He drove out to meet her, finding her in the food court.  "You're taking time off to shop?" he asked dryly.

"Fred needed something.  She's running computer stuff for us so we're in a lull and I thought I'd make myself available in case you guys wanted to talk to us."  She looked him over.  "They said Xander looked like hell this morning, that's what tipped them off."

"So did I.  We found out it was coated on one of the bullets."

"Charming."  She made that note and looked at him.  "Let me guess, it might lead back?"  He handed over the sheet of rental records.  She looked then snickered.  "That means Highest Love of Evenness in that language."

"Figured it was demonic with that string."

She nodded.  "It is.  It's nice they tried to translate it."  She looked in the PDA Fred had given her, finding their address.  "That's the same group's favorite hangout according to Angel and Fred's records.  Take one of the girls with you in case they attack you."  He stared.  "We have four slayers in to stand in plus the one who is standing in for one girl on maternity leave.  They can help.  Buffy might gossip but she gets a lot of respect for how long she's been doing this."  She pointed.  "That's Buffy and Amber."

He looked then at her.  "Could they handle it if it went south?" he asked quietly.

"That's why they're slayers.  Buffy did Sunnydale for eight years."  He shuddered.  He'd looked that town up after meeting Xander.  "Exactly.  Amber's been trained by the Winchesters.  Or you could call Xander if he's feeling better.  Or ask Mac.  He's a former Marine."

He considered it.  "Let us recon it first.  I might need that."  She smiled and handed over something.  "What's that?"

"Mac's number.  Buffy's number in Cleveland.  She and Caridad are doing most of the head stuff for the senior girls while Giles rebuilds the Council.  That's the base's number for the lab if you ever need it."  He smiled at that.  "We let it be known all you guys had to do was call.  We do it for other departments and agencies too."

"Good to know.  What sort of turnaround time?"

"If we're not in the middle of something huge?  About an hour if we know what it is already.  If it's really obscure but not something that interested any of the book geeks on base it could take weeks."

"Good.  I can stand that."  He put it into his pocket.  "Would that sort need weapons?"

She looked it up in the manual, then shook her head.  "No.  They're supposed to be peaceful, no warrior clans within it."  She let him see the page they had on that one.  "I don't know why."

"Maybe a minion then?"

"Could be.  They do gamble and kitten poker is a debt game."

"Kitten poker?"

"Yeah.  The demonic game of choice from what we hear."

He shuddered.  "That's just..."   She nodded and grinned.  "Okay, so maybe he's a minion for that reason or he hired out."

"Could be."

"Can we get one of those?  Maybe with pictures or physical descriptions?"  She flipped to the back of the book and he smiled at the description list based on color then size, then distinguishing marks or traits.  "That's a good way of doing it."

"Abby and Speed thought that up."  She let him have it.  "I can get another copy."

"Thanks for the help."

She picked up the bags.  "That's why I do the work."  She walked off, gathering the girls with her.  "C'mon, back to work, ladies."  They groaned but finished their lunches and went with her.

He watched them go.  The girls were so *young*!  He wasn't sure he'd trust taking a girl with him into that situation.  He went back to the office with the information and the book, reporting and letting the OP center have the manual in case they ever needed it.  Plus the lab's number.  The boss was amused.  He looked at the records they had hacked into, finding a slayer that had went with a retrieval team was one of the locals 'hanging out', as in listed as being on vacation.   So he went to pick her up and take her with him.  He'd trust her more than he would Buffy Summers.  No matter how good her rep was.  This one had been trained by a commando team and he knew one of the team members.  He vouched for her training and told him where she was still weak.  It was good enough for him.  Of course, the first question he asked her was 'kitten poker'.

She gave him an odd look since she was at a fast food place.  "I don't personally play but I have heard where the major action is."

He held up his ID, getting a groan.  "I've got to question someone about a weapons warehouse."

"They're going to ask why they didn't send Xander."

"Xander handed it to us.  They had some higher weapons that needed a disposal team immediately."

She stared.  "I heard rumors about a nuclear one," she said quietly.  She finished his milkshake on the way out with him, texting someone.  "Connor so he won't worry.  He's picked up bad fussing habits from Crissy recently."  That got a smirk.  "She's pregnant.  Due around easter."

"Xander said something about her at the warehouse."

She smirked.  "We're all babying Crissy because of the little girl she's carrying.  We're also all hoping she's not a slayer.  That would drive her mom nuts."  She got into the car and watched the city as they went.  "What are we looking for?"  He handed over the information.  "Huh.  I know him.  I talked to him the other day.  He wanted to know why I wasn't going on patrol."

"Why weren't you, Gwen?"

"I'm on vacation to see the guys.  The base is *really* nice, but kinda squee central some days.  Teenage girls all over the place."

"I saw."

"You've been on the base?"

"I was sent to check the armory for leaks."

"Only a few earth demons."  She shifted to look at him.  "This is a really rough bar."

"We've had it under surveillance all day."

She snickered.  "It won't get really heated in there until about two."  They changed streets.  "Why not ask Buffy?  They'd be in awe and talk to her."

"I have no idea if she can handle it if the situation turns caustic."

"Buffy can handle FUBAR.  She did plenty of times at home.  She'll make disgusted noises about the goo under her nails, but she can do it.  We all can.  Xander made sure of it and he told us how FUBAR things can go sometimes.  Gave us all a clear picture of what could happen if we failed."

"That's good of him but doesn't that bother the younger girls?"

"It more made us see why we were doing this.  It's a tiring job."

"It can be," he agreed.  "Mine's the same way.  I usually deal with terrorists."

She nodded.  "They do suck.  We had one group that tried to take us hostage to reprogram us as terrorists.  They didn't like slayer strength at all."

He smirked. "They never do."

"So, how did you get into this line of work?"

"Recruited out of the Army."

"Well, hey, you got trained.  Some of the girls the old Council had were barely trained.  That's why Xander started with self defense.  Then lessons and languages."

"That's smart of him.  Especially with so many younger girls."

"Our youngest is still here," she told him.  He gave her an odd look.  "She was only six when she got called.  We found her an excellent foster family and the girls locally all check on her and help her whenever she needs it."

"Is she patrolling?"

"Nope.   Her big brothers are teaching her self defense and all that good stuff.  We're not allowed to test for patrol until we're at least sixteen.  Seventeen if possible."

"That's a wise decision.  Especially with so many of you."

"Buffy started at fifteen."  He shuddered.  "Look back at what she handled."

"I did.  I'm damn glad I didn't have to."

"Us too.  You guys getting involved would've made things go worse probably.   One girl, a witch, and a hunter can go places a whole strike team can't."

"Good point."  He pulled up in front of the bar, watching the brawl going on.  "Is that normal?"

"For those two."  She smirked.  "How open do you want me?  I can say I'm there to talk to someone about whoever shot at Xander."

"Please do.  I'll play escort and driver."

She smirked.  "All slayers recently had to get driving lessons because Buffy made the cops and the instructor they got in from the FBI academy scared."  She slid out and looked at the fighting ones then sighed and walked over, throwing them apart.  "Guys, messing up the sidewalk and making me sweaty."  They stared and one whimpered.  "Not here for you probably."  He relaxed.  "Take it to the parking lot so you don't trip people."  She walked inside, heading for the bar.

"You're not old enough...."  She pulled him over.  "Which one are you?" he squeaked.

She smirked as she drawled, "Gwen."

"Oh, damn."  She let him go.  "You were on retrieval."

"I was.  And I'm on vacation but a demon shot at Xander and we're all *so* pissed.  I want to talk to that one."  She handed over the papers.  "We found this one associated.  I promise I won't hurt him...much.  At least if he's not the real reason behind it."  She smiled sweetly and reached back to break the hand trying to cop a feel.  "Not your ass.  Grope yourself, not me."  She looked back and grinned.  "Not my type anyway.  I'd need someone who could throw me against a wall in a good way, baby.  Your kind are asexual."  He went sweaty and ran off.  She waved.  "Thanks for offering though."  She looked at the bartender again, smiling again.  "It's nice he thinks I'm hot."

"You are very cute in that."

"Cute is for the mini girls on base.  I'm too old for cute."

"Buffy's not."

"Nor am I the undead yo-yo."

He laughed.  "Good point.  Did she really die again?"

"For a few minutes in Cold Oak.  Got anything on this one?"

He pointed.  "Back table, this side.  I can tell you he's a minion.  His family needed money so he hired himself out."

"Then he'll know who hired him."  She pinched his cheek.  "Can I have a seven up?"  He got her a can.  "Thanks, dear."  She strolled that way, stopping to look at one demon.  "Aren't you wanted for the invasion thing?" she asked.  He tried to move but she broke his leg tripping him and used her belt to tie him up.  "I'll get you in a minute."  She found the demon she wanted watching her.  "Good evening."  He moaned.  She sat down across from him, looking at the hand of the guy next to her. "That's ....  Not what Spike would play from what he explained to us."  She opened the can and took a sip, looking at him.  "Your name was associated with the warehouse Xander got shot at.  I want to know who it really belongs to so we can have a talk."

He shook his head.  "They'll kill me."

"I'm Gwen.  The Slayer Gwen."

He slumped.  "So you'll kill me?"

"I'll bang you up a lot but I'm not that mean.  I understand about needing money for the family."  She leaned closer.  "I do know that you're going to be hunting for a new job anyway."

"I can't tell you."

"You can and if I have to find out the hard way I'm going to be much, much meaner."

He swallowed, shaking his head.  "I can't."  She turned and threw her knife at that one demon, making him scream but quit trying to escape.  She looked at him again and he nearly whimpered.  "Why not bring Buffy?"

"She's in on the DCIS case.  I'm in on vacation.  This isn't exactly an *official* talk."  She stared him down.  "If you tell me, you can hide long enough for me to deal with him."

"He's human."

"Even more reason with what I heard that warehouse had."  The demon looked clueless so she leaned over.  "Xander got a tip about *major* weapons that not even he could bust.   That's what drew him there and he found about ten things that bad.  One a huge bomb.  If he's human, he's in deep with the authorities."

He considered it, looking at the guys.

The agent stepped closer.  "At this point, if the humans found out, they could charge you as an accessory.  Even if you only signed the lease in your name."

He looked at him.  "I heard about you."  That got a smirk.  "You needed a slayer?"

"You're their playground, not mine.  You guys freak us out."

She nodded.  "And I'm not inclined toward arresting you unless there's a reward in it for me," she told him.  "So a get out of jail free card and the ability to find a better paycheck.  Unless you were involved."

He looked at the guys, who all groaned but nodded they'd cooperate.  The agent sat down to go over what they knew.  And to learn a bit about kitten poker.  Even though the thought of playing poker for kittens was wrong on so many levels.

***

Gwen walked into the temporary headquarters the next morning, handing over the demon.  "One of Wolfram and Hart's top people.  He was helping the invasion stuff."

Stella beamed.  "That's so nice of you, Gwen.  Are you helping?"

"Vacation.  I got tapped to help with the warehouse stuff."  She shrugged.  "It's a human, their people are going after him, and I'm free to go back to my vacation."  She looked at Buffy.  "By the way, Crissy's boyfriend is scared to death of you.  No shovel talk."  She strolled off again, going to talk to her former coworkers.  She was missing excitement.  Being on base was too easy for her.

Buffy shrugged, taking the demon to look over.  "At least she left you living so you could have some fun in prison.  I hear they have butt sex."  She called Dawn, who opened one remotely to the base.  "Here you go.  Gwen found one of the ones still wanted for the invasion.  She probably wanted more shopping money."

John took him.  "Thanks, Buffy.  Any good news?"

"Gwen helped bring down the guy hiring demons that was holding the weapons Xander nearly got shot about."

"Even better.  Tell her to call Mercy soon."  He let the portal close and dragged the pitiful demon off.  "Guys, Buffy said Gwen found him.  He was part of the invasion problem?"

"Mine!" Xander said.  He looked over and found his sheet.  "Awww.  You are."  He took him down to the prison.  They had already done the arrest forms.  They knew they'd have to show up sometime to get assets to live on.  He filled in the last few sections down there.  "Here, Gwen brought him in.  He was part of Wolfram and Hart's board.  With the invasion."

"We have a good, escape-proof cell for him," the guard promised.  "I'll get Chase down to check him over."  He walked the demon off, paging Chase on the way.  Chase gave the demon a bad look.  "One of the slayers brought him in.  He was formerly of Wolfram and Hart."

"Wonderful."  He bandaged and stitched him then let him have his cell to himself.

Xander walked up to the office.  "Hey, Danny?"  He looked up.  "The prison's getting a bit tight again.  The board listing all the cells is mostly lit up."

"How many are getting out soon?"

"No idea.  Just a head's up so you can check on it."

"I can do that."  He went down there to find the head guard.  "Good morning."

"Morning, sir.  What's wrong?"

"Xander said that the prison's nearly full?"

"About eight-tenths.  I was going to come up soon and suggest that we hand back the human prisoners."

"I'll see if I can arrange that.  How much space would that free up?"

"About sixty cells."

"I'll see if I can arrange that."  He went to his office to call someone in the FBI about that.   They'd tell him who to call.

***

Mac looked up as a demon came up to where he was questioning a source.  "Give me a  minute?" It nodded so he finished up with the information he needed before looking at the new one.  "Do you have relevant information on this case, sir?"

"Will you do as Harris does and handle situations that are occurring at the same time?"

"If possible.  If I can't personally do it I'll let Stella or Don break off to handle it."  That got a smile.  "What sort of problem are you seeing?"

"My spouse has taken our daughter.  The demon courts gave me custody."

"Do you know where she is?"

"I do.  I cannot afford what it would cost to get her back."

"Give me the information and I'll let Don and Stella handle it since I'm dealing with the one who wants to take over LA."

"That is acceptable.  Stella is said to be fair, as is Don."  He handed over the decree and her current address.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem."  They shook hands and the demon left.  Mac went to find Stella, handing it to her.  "Non-custodial parent kidnaping."

"I'll take Don with me."  He nodded and she went to find Don to start that look over.  Apparently the wife was of the view her husband would pay her to get their child back, but he didn't seem to have money.  So it was their sort of case.  They watched the house for a while then Stella went to get a warrant with the pictures they had taken of the mother and child.  The same judge sighed but signed it and told her what had happened during the trial.  How usually he'd be expected to pay someone to take her back.  She pointed out that was their job, not the clan's.  That way someone could be arrested and everyone would know.  The judge smirked and let her handle it.  Within two hours they were back to have the one woman formally charged in the demon courts.  LA's community had started their own jail so that was even better.  They finished up and headed off to find Mac and get back to case work.

***

Daniel walked into the lab.  "Tell me we have something on that portal generator?" he begged.

"We've been using it for everything but people transport," Abby said, giving him an odd look.  "I left you a voicemail."

"Jack must've erased it on me."  He sat down.  "What did we find?"

"We found two anomalies and the fact that Xander and Dean together make a new heat source."  Danny gave her an odd look.  "They do and I'm not talking about panty heating either.  They came up with a new way to heat things the other night when the building urge hit them again."  She bounced off to get a few things, bringing them back.  "We have tested the portal generator.  It does have settings to create stable sub realms.  Which is an anomaly because it doesn't have to continuously be in contact with it to keep it open.  We're not sure why yet.  Even Rod doesn't have a theory yet."

"He always has theories."

"He thinks maybe it's the magical crackpot theory but you never know."  She shrugged.  "We also found out we can move demons but not humans that way.  Now, we're not sure about those who've been possessed or are possessed.  They might not work either.  He and Sam had an idea about how to make it so it could be a people mover but they're working on it back at his base again since they're at home."

He gave her a pat on the arm. "You can go up for a few weeks to manage the integration from their end since they've had problems."  She squealed and hugged him, bouncing against him.  He smiled back.  "I'm all for you being happy and if he does it for you then I'll gladly watch you be cute with him.  Gibbs said the same thing."  She beamed.  "Are those the only two anomalies we've found?"

"So far."

"What uses could we put this to?  And can we build more?"

"Oh, yeah.  We have the tech specs and all that from the raid plus the diagram off the working one.  The only thing we don't have is naquada."

"How did they get any?"

"Demons get hold of some strange things.  Just look at the fertility idol I'm never touching and the pieces of Atlantis we get now and then."

"Good point but naquada is seriously classified and there's demons from the Pegasus galaxy.  There's no demons we know of going near any naquada rich planets."

"Hmm.  Ask Jack?"

"I can do that."  He made a note for himself.  Then he looked at her.  "New heat source?"

"Um-huh.  They were screwing around and something in Andrew's memories said something about something old of Warren's so they went to play with it once they built it.  They figured out a new power source for the robots using a water breaking down particle accelerator and a rechargeable battery system," she babbled, bouncing off to get it for him.  She brought it back.  "See, it works really well and it can heat fantastically.  I took it outside to thaw the front yard earlier."

"I noticed the bare spot in the snow," he teased.

"Yup, twas me but it was fun.  Because of the heat it naturally gives off, it can be a dual source of power.  Higher from the accelerator and then lower from a heat turbine or something."

"Does the water come back together after you split it?"

"It only collects the energy from the splitting, not the actual molecules so it can reform once it cools down."

"That could be extremely handy.  Can we size it up to a generator?"

"We can use this size to power the whole base, Danny."

He beamed.  "That is exceptional.  Which one begged to test it?"

"I haven't told them yet."

"If you can get a second one working you can bring one up to McKay when you go."  She gave him another bouncy hug.  "Patents?"  He had to straighten out his glasses but he was smiling.  A happy Abby was a wonderful thing.

"We are taking a field trip to the patent office with Dean and Xander next week.  The main one in DC so I can check on a few friends.  That way we can bring working models?" she asked hopefully.

"As long as they're safe and no one can take them.  I'd hate to see someone bad with the particle accelerator beam."

"I know.  We're arranging it with Fornell so he can let whichever lab geeks out there have a look if we need to.  Dean doesn't know yet but John's really proud and arranged it for him."

Daniel smiled.  "Does Xander?"  She shook her head.  "Then I'll let you drag him off.  Get me papers?"  She handed them over.  "Wesley's for Dean?"  She handed over that set.  "Good work, Abby."  She beamed at him and he kissed her on the temple. "Let me know when you need to go up."  She nodded and went to put things away for now.  He found Wesley in the library.  "Dean's helping Abby next week in DC," he said quietly.

"I've heard," he said, smiling back.  He took the papers and signed them.  "John's already arranged things."

"Wonderful."  He went to sign Xander's and tell him.  "Xander, next week Abby's going to need your help on a project in DC that she's presenting."

"Sure," he called back, waving a hand.  "I'll pack good clothes."

"Thank you."  He went to file the paperwork.  Then he called Jack.  "How would demons have gotten hold of naquada?"

Jack frowned over the video feed.  "They did?"

"They did.  The portal generator we found during the goop clones thing runs on it."

"Interesting.  I have no idea."

"Check on your end?"

"I can do that."  He hung up and went to talk to someone in the lab.  "People, how would demons have gotten hold of naquada in enough strength to start making devices powered by it?" he asked.  They all gave him horrified looks.  "Danny Jackson's people found a portal generator that runs on it."

"I'll check our stores," the head of the research lab said calmly.  "How much did they get?"

"No idea.  We know the portal generator works."

"Let me call a friend at Area 51, see if she can track their materials," another said, reaching for the desk phone.  Jack left them to it.  This was bad.  Demons shouldn't have access to classified, high energy applications or sources.  They might use it to destroy the world or something icky like that.

***

Mac came back with the last few demons from their case.  "The girls found two of them doing human sacrifices for power raising and had to stop them the hard way," he told Daniel, nodding at the others.  "These are what's left of the clan.  They were trying a mafia style take over of LA and we've got rumors of ones in New York that the real mob had to take out recently."

"I'm sure the NYPD was thrilled with that."

"They're going to be able to break out of the cells."

Daniel smirked.  "I think we have a way around that," he told him.  "Abby's been fiddling with the portal generator and found a way to make stable, safe sub realms."  Mac gaped.  He smirked.  "That should work as a holding cell for them."  He walked them down there so Abby could test it.  It did work and the portal looked a lot like the one Angel had been in, only different colored.  Mac filed that away for later reference but the demons were each put into their own subrealm and shut in.  They'd open it periodically to give food over and they had some way of monitoring it he assumed.

"That is amazing," Stella said.

Daniel smiled. "It is.  We've got monitoring via thermal imaging and a sound pickup."

"Wow," she decided.  He nodded and they left to finish the paperwork for their judge.  She ran into Abby coming out of the caf with a new caf-pow and gave her a hug.  "You have an amazing brain, Abby."  She went back to getting her own coffee then back to her paperwork.  The afterglow Abby left nearly lit up the halls.  Okay, so maybe some of it was a bit of radiation since the guards had a radiation meter and were following her but that was fine too.  All in the life of the wacky research team at DCIS.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Geeky Things.

Abby watched the cargo handlers pulling out the SUV that was loaded with all their stuff, tipping the one doing the driving.  "Guys," she called.  "It's down!"  They came down off the plane buttoning the nicer shirts she had them put on.  Still in jeans but nicer shirts would be good enough.  It's not like they were Secret Service or FBI.  They didn't have to look uptight.  "Who's driving?"

"I'll drive, you navigate," Dean told her.  She nodded, handing over the keys the handler had given her.  They waved at the pilot, who tossed down a bag before going to check over their plane.  Xander caught the bag and tossed it into the back of the SUV, opening Abby's door for her.  Then he got into the back and buckled in.  Tony had chosen some comfortable SUV's for them to buy so it was all good for rush hour traffic on the beltway.  "Where are we staying?"

"Gibbs' house so we can check on it and the boat for him."  Dean nodded, heading for the exit while their plane taxied to the fuel station.  "We landed here because it's closer.  Otherwise we'd have to travel across the city to get there and it's nasty this time of day."  She pointed.  "Go that way so we can pick up dinner?"  Dean nodded, doing as ordered. She smiled. "You two could relax.  It's not like I'm going to feed you to the scientists who want to look at this stuff."

"We're here to guard you," Xander reminded her.

"I lived here for years and you guys can be happy bodyguards," she promised, smirking at Dean.  "Maybe get in some sightseeing?"

"Danny gave us stuff to give to Reid," Xander said.

"We can find him.  Garcia wanted to look at some of this stuff and she's their computer goddess."  They smiled at that.  "Grocery store."  They pulled in and she ran inside to get something to eat for dinner and beer.  Plus a few sodas for them in the morning.  She came out with the three bags and got back in, pointing the way for Dean to take.  They'd be fine, even if Xander or Dean might have a routine freak out over the patent stuff.

***

Abby beamed at the man there to look at their things.  He handled patent law cases and could file for them without them having to be exposed.  "Here you are.  Guys, where's the last thing?" she called.

"Fixing the broken wire," Dean called back.  He brought it in a minute later.  "Here you go, Abby."

"Is that like from the movie?" he asked dryly.

Dean turned it on then fired at the wall with an evil smirk.  "It works too."  He turned it off and went back to guarding with Xander.

She nodded.  "We got possessed by the spirits of some of Xander's friends who were ubergeeks and they had us build stuff they had wanted to."  She lit the light saber, making him moan.  "Exactly."  She turned it off.  "Go ahead and drool.  I know most of these are mentioned in other copyrighted works but these are working models with plans."

"That would let you get your own copyright," he agreed.

"Us.  Even if they don't realize it."

He smiled.  "Fine.  The three of you then."  He looked over each thing, pulling out the plans to look at them and the forms to go with them.  He corrected one entry and moved on to the next instrument.  He held it up.  "It's a what?"

"That is a heat sink for a new water splitting energy producing machine those two developed."  She got the plans.  "This is fully classified.  It's being tested on a secret military base.  That's to take care of the heat issue since it puts off a good amount of heat."

He hummed, reading over the plans.  The heat sink itself was a bit different and new as far as he knew.  He got done and nodded, signing the forms.  "They'll want to look at the prototypes."

"That's why we're here," she said, bouncing some.  "That and so I can brag to some of my fellow lab geeks."

He nodded.  "Let me file these today, Miss Scuito."  He shook her hand, walking outside to shake their hands.  "Good work, gentlemen.  Give me a few days to hear from the head of the patent office about your work."  He walked off.

"Abby?" Dean called.  "Did he just say what I think he did?"

She leaned out.  "Yes, Dean.  You did some of the work, you get credit," she said dryly. "Or blame but this isn't a blame situation."

"Dad's going to freak," Dean said, slumping in his chair.

She beamed.  "He said normally he would but he's so darn proud of you that he arranged for you to come with us."  She patted him on the head.  "Breathe, Xander.  You have to breathe before you pass out."  She came over to help him since he was hyperventilating.   Dean got her something to help him calm down by breathing into.  Xander kept shaking his head.  "It's all right."

"No it's not!" he nearly wailed.

"Yes it is."

"No!  I'm grunt support, donut guy, hunting down vamps guy, not...patent guy!" he finished.

She huffed, petting him gently.  "It's all right.  We know you're more than that."

He gave her an odd look, shaking his head.  "No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," Dean said firmly.  "Not even I can get away with as dumb as you play now and then, Xander, and if you don't quit putting yourself down I'm telling Faith."

Xander huffed.  "She'd agree!"

Dean called her, putting it on speaker.  "Speak to the Goddess of Slaying," Faith quipped.

"Faith, me, Xander, and Abby," Dean told her.  "Xander thinks he's too dumb to have his name on the patents."

"Boytoy, shut up!" she ordered.  "You're not stupid.  If you were, you would've died back in the big sitch at grad.  Now, quit!  Be a man, Xander, not a whimpering little boy."

"Hey!" Abby complained.  "He has low self esteem."

"Yeah, because B and the others thought he was stupid.  If he was, they would've all died.  Some guys are street smart, which Xander is.  The same as Dean is.  Do not make me come back to the base to smack you, X.  I will.  You know I will."

"We're in DC after meeting with a patent lawyer," Abby told her.

"Way to go!" she praised, sounding happy.  "Cor just managed to do a backflip."

"Congrats," Xander said.

"Cor, Xander said congrats, munchkin."  She squealed and came closer.  "Here, you tell Xander he's not stupid and his name does belong on those patents, even if he was possessed."

"Xander, quit being a poop.  You built them even if Andrew and Jonathan did come up with the ideas before they died.  They could've possessed anyone.  They chose you instead of someone like Charlie so behave and be happy about it."  She hung up on them.

"See?" Abby said.  "She's not only a wise young lady but a slayer too."  Dean put his phone back.  "Danny is *very* proud of you two."  She gave them a hug.

"Getting noticed is bad," Xander told her.

"Not like they print new patents in the newspaper, Xander.  We're only going to let the geek gods I know look at them.  We won't tell them your part."  She sighed when he and Dean both nodded.  "Fine."  She moved to call her buddies.  "We're done and they're calm.  That's where we are.  Because a few can be dangerous if they're in the wrong hands," she said cheerfully.  "Thanks.  Sure, bring lunch if you want."  She hung up and went to fuss the files back into order.

Dean nudged Xander.  "I agree.  Notice makes the job harder," he said quietly.  Xander looked at him.  "We'll get through it.  It's not like it'll be published and there's every chance they'll turn us down because of the way we got the ideas."

Xander nodded.  "I hope so."

"I'm pretty certain.  No one really wants to see a working light saber in the military's hands."

Xander smirked.  "Jedi Marines?"

"Could be."  He nudged him and nodded.  "Don't you have stuff for him?"

"I do but it's in the car."  Spenser Reid stopped to stare at them, grinning slightly.  "Danny sent you stuff but I left it in the car."

"Case?"

"Nope."  He walked out with him.  "You were coming to see Abby's stuff?"

"All three of your stuffs?  I was.  I heard you guys have made some really interesting toys that any geek should love."  He leaned closer.  "How much to get a working light saber?" he hissed in the elevator.

Xander grinned.  "Have to ask Dean.  That's his baby."

"I can do that."  He showed his pass to the guard on the doorway.  "Getting something from the car."  They walked out and Xander found the files for him, handing them over so he could relock the SUV and walk back inside with him.  They flashed their passes on the way back to the elevator.

"You two are just perfect!" a female voice shouted.

Xander instinctively reached for his weapon.  Spenser gave her a look like she was a creature.  "Lady, back away from our profiler," Xander ordered.

"Oooh, pshya.  I'm harmless."  She smiled at them.  "I am in charge of our fundraising effort for charity this year at the bureau."

Spenser shrugged a bit.  "I donate quite well on my own.  Thank you for letting us know who to go to."

She laughed.  "Not like that.  We're doing a charity calendar to show the normal people that we're normal, average people as well.  You two are both so adorable.  I'll have you signed up."

"I'm not FBI," Xander told her.

She shrugged. "It'll be good for whichever agency you are."

"Um, no," Spenser said.  "Thank you anyway, but I don't want to be used as a piece of meat to recruit more people to the bureau."  He pushed the elevator's button.  "I'm sure you can find one of the more muscular, pinheaded agents to fill the pages."

"We have plenty of those but not enough of the smart types."

"Lady, what part of no thank you didn't you get?" Xander demanded, hand still on his service piece.  "We're not interested."

"I can make it so your director makes you, young man."

"I doubt my director wants me to look like some sleazy tramp in a pinup calendar.  He encourages us to use our minds, not sleep around for intel."  She blushed.  "Beyond that, only evil women want me.  Why do you want to flood the bureau with the sort of women who like to bomb malls to get attention?"

Spenser looked at him.  "I heard about that incident.  Seven wasn't it?"

"Two with bombs," Xander agreed.  She moaned.  He glared.  "We're not meat locker material, lady."  They got onto the elevator and went back up to the meeting room.  "Bitch," he muttered.

Spenser grinned, going back to reading.  "I have no idea why she wanted me.  I'm skinny, nerdy, and have bad hair.  The only thing I don't have on the geek trifecta of ugliness is zits.  Thank God I got rid of those."

Xander nodded.  "I've got some muscles but still not my thing.  Even if I did strip that one summer when my car broke down."

"I remember seeing that in the background when I did your psych profile."

Xander made a whining noise.  "Why?" he demanded.

"Someone higher up wanted one.  They relented when Jackson chewed them a new one."  They got off and walked down the hall.  "Hey, Garcia, there's a meat puller's calendar coming out of the bureau?"

She beamed and nodded.  "They say it's for charity.  For the next hurricane's victims and so we can look more upbeat so we recruit more."

He snorted.  "And yet they wanted me."

She cooed, pinching his cheek.  "You'd be adorable."

"I'd be embarrassed," he corrected.  They walked into the room to look at the goodie toys, him moving next to Dean.  "Xander said to ask you.  How much for a working light saber?"

Dean grinned.  "There's a spare one on the base for Jack but we can make another for about three hundred."

"Deal."  He shook his hand and went to look at the other toys.  "Wow.  Is that a nuclear accelerator?"

"Proton," Xander said, sitting down. "She wanted me and him to be the gay pinups."

Dean snorted.  "You're both cute but I wouldn't buy a calendar with you in it, Xander.  I can go raid the slayer dorm if I want naked pictures."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "You keep walking in on me when I'm in the shower, Dean.  I wasn't so sure you weren't trying to peek," he teased back.

Dean smirked, shaking his head.  "Nope.  Just looking for sweets."

"He is very sweet," Abby reminded them.

"Uh-huh, but not my sort of sweet," Dean teased.

She gaped then shook her head so hard her pigtails stung where they hit her.  "No, Dean. You two would be *good* together."  She bounced off to get the others to help her with that plan, and to do some recruiting of course.  She couldn't pass up the opportunity to recruit for her labs.

"Hotch said if you try to steal Garcia he's paddling you," Spenser told her, not looking up from his reading.  Garcia swatted him. "Hey!"

"Every woman wants to be courted for some reason, Spens."

He grinned.  "We know how magnificent you are, Garcia.  We don't want to lose you.  Who else would brighten our lives during the bad cases and pick on Derek?"

"Good point."  She looked at Abby.  "Can I bring my boys?"

"If you can talk Daniel into it," she agreed.  "We can probably use a few new agents."

Spenser gave her a look.  "They'd kill us all if we suggested that.  None of them want to deal with the strange stuff you guys do daily out there, Abby."

She shrugged but she was smiling.  "We're special agents for special reasons," she quipped, cracking the others up.  "Did you guys hear that I'm getting Area 51 and NID under my labcoat?"

Garcia gave her an odd look.  "That isn't a reason to celebrate, Abby dear."

"Yes it is.  Daniel's having a team go through to weed out the assholes with power trips," Xander told her.  She stared then moaned.  He smirked.  "I only get bad girls, Garcia.  Are you that naughty?"

"No, she's not," Spenser said.  She swatted him.  "Ow!"  He glared at her.  "He attracts women who have bad plans, like bombs and world take over events.  You can be naughty but not that bad."

"I guess that's a compliment," she pouted.  Xander gave her a pat on the arm.  "So, give!  Why are you guys in?"

"Patent lawyer she suckered us into dealing with," Dean said grimly.

Spenser smirked at him.  "Better that than a beefcake calendar."

"Not really.  Hunters who get notoriety get dead from the fame," Dean shot back.

"Ah, but you have a better calling," Abby reminded him, trying to sound wise.  "Who else could teach the girls?"

"Point," he muttered.

She gave Garcia a hug.  "You should come out.  You could have all sorts of girls to look up to you like a big sister.  I do."

"They don't look up to the older ones?" one of the other lab geeks asked.

"The newly called older ones are..." Xander said, searching for the right word.

"Uptight," Dean said.  Xander nodded and pointed.  "They're stiff, they're good in their usual fields but the girls haven't really bonded since the older ones tend to be more creeped out by the younger slayer squad and how easy they picked up the mentality they need to survive.  We have a few who can't manage to slay anything even when it's attacking them.  We've only passed ten into field readiness out of the new seventy-four."

"And three decided to take their first three self defense lessons to start a bar brawl at a demon bar," Xander added.

"Ah," they all sighed and nodded.  They had agents who were like that around them.

The woman from earlier stomped in.  "There you are!  That was rude!  I have mandatory compliance letters here," she said, handing Xander one.

"Lady, I'm not FBI.  I'm not going to cooperate."

"You will or I'll have your director suspend you."

He held out his phone.  "It's the second speed dial."  She gaped.  "By the way, I'm DCIS.  I'm not even in DC.  We're selective in our recruiting and I'll be damned if I want the sort of women who hunt me to come join *your* bureau because I doubt they'd want to protect anyone's asses."

She swallowed.  "DCIS?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Well, your director will have to comply.  Ours said so and so did Homeland."

"We're not under Homeland," Abby told her.  "Beyond that, it's a cheesy idea."

"You have to be!  Or one of the military units!  You do defense contractors!"

"No, we're the DCIS that deals with demons," Xander corrected smugly.  "Do you want to come deal with goo and slime?"  She shuddered, backing away a step.  "I'm not going to be part of your calendar.  I don't care if God herself comes down to tell me to do it."  She whimpered.  "Now, do you mind?  Abby's showing off new geek toys to other geeks to make everyone happy for the afternoon.  You're busting the happy mood."

She sniffed.  "You will comply.  I'll make sure of it."  She spotted Dean.  "You'd do as well."

"I'm not a Fed, lady.  I'm ISC."

"What's that?" she asked impatiently.  "I'm sure I can talk to your director as well."

"International Slayers Council.  Which means you'd get a hundred slayers down your throat for touching their trainer."  She moaned like she was getting off.  "Go.  Away.  We're not going to participate in whatever plan this is.  We're a bit more paranoid."

She huffed.  "We'll see."  She spotted Spenser and walked over to him. "Here.  Your director signed it."

He gave her a look that should've told her to run.  "You touch me with that paper and I'm filing a sexual harassment complaint against you, and then a lawsuit against the agency.  I'm not going to risk my professional credentials to do some perverted, juvenile excuse for masturbation and fantasy relief.  If people want to see me that unclothed, they can come ask me for a date.  Since they don't...  I'm guessing I wouldn't have the draw you need.  Other than that."  He pointed at the form.  "That cannot make me comply.  I can have that removed today."

Xander hummed and called.  "Danny, Xander.  We have some heaving fangirl here who wants Spenser, myself, and Dean to do a beefcake calendar for the FBI.  Can't I just hit her and throw her out a window?"  He grumbled at the concise orders.  "But, Danny!"  He sighed.  "Thanks, Danny."  She gave him a smug look so he hung up.  "I'm not allowed to beat you senseless and throw you out a window.  I'm only allowed to do one of those.  Dr. Jackson said we will not be participating because we don't want that sort of attention on our agency.  If you don't like it, take it up with the president."  He snapped her picture and forwarded it to him.  "That way he knows who to reference when he calls to complain to your director."  She huffed off.  He looked at Spenser.  "Call your boss?"

"I'll tell him on the way back," he said with a grin.  "I'm not giving up what little respect I have to be some girl's wet dream."  He went back to reading.  "Why did I need these?  They're demonic."

"They're a cult, but they're sucking in humans to kill them.  We figured you could use it since your team got one of them the other day," Xander told him.

"We can have you brief the team on the way back.  That okay with you, Abby?"

"Of course," she said happily.  "We can load the car first."  They nodded and a few made begging faces while petting things.  "There's a few spares around the office but some of those are too powerful and will end up classified."  One geek was petting the proton accelerator.  "That one especially.  If your boss agrees, we wouldn't mind letting them have a working copy to test the destructive power of.  We had a lot of fun doing that."

"Then Xander had too much chocolate and fixed the holes we created," Dean said, grinning at her.  "We need a testing area."

"We have one," Xander said.  "None of us want to hike stuff out there in the snow.  We need to add to the tunnel system."  She nodded at that.  "Guys, get in one last pet."  They did that and helped load everything back onto the cart so they could haul it down to the SUV.  He pulled the guard with them.  "These things are going to end up classified.  Some have weapons potential."  He shuddered.  Xander turned on the light saber and used it to trim a long thread off his hat.  Then he pointed.  The guy moaned.  "Understood?"  That got a nod.  "Good.  We'll be with the BAU teams for a few minutes.  Call there if something happens please.  This is DCIS property."

"Defense contractors?" he asked hopefully.

Xander smirked.  "Didn't see me after the dragons?"

"Well, yeah, but I had hopes."

"So do I some days.  Sometimes it's even too strange for me."  The guard nearly cried at that.  "Make sure no one steals stuff for us?"

"Yes, sir."  They walked off, Xander slipping Spenser the light saber.  The boy was in major lust over it.

Abby gave him an odd look.  "What if we need a working copy?"

"We can have Spenser bring it in.  He does work with us so he should get to play with the toys."

"I guess."  She gave Spenser a hug once they were in the elevator.  "You cannot destroy things with it.  I got yelled at for that.  Even Rodney pouted that I got to destroy stuff with it."

"I think the crystal turned," Dean said, taking it to tinker with while they got through security.  He turned it on and nearly fried Garcia so he turned the crystal some more, putting it back to the single beam.  He grinned as he handed it over.

"A very phallic weapon," Hotch said dryly.

Xander beamed.  "Big boys need big toys.  Especially after the heaving bitch decided we three need to be her wet dream calendar showboys."

Hotch gave him an odd look.  "I heard a rumor about that."

Spenser handed over Xander's copy of the compliance letter.  "She tried.  I told her I'd file sexual harassment complaints and sue."  He walked past him, turning it off and petting it.  "We have files on the cult that's killing people."

"Demonic?" Morgan asked.

Xander nodded.  "'Fraid so but the locals won't believe it and tried to shoot at us when we came in."

"We got one of their folders they think," Spenser said.

"I remember seeing a cult case," Hotch admitted, going to find it.  He came out waving it.  "Here it is."  They compared it.  "How do we deal with the demons?"

"Bashing their skulls in works for us," Dean said.  "Or lighting them on fire."

"Without killing them," Spenser said, giving him a look.  "We arrest here too."

"Pity.  I hate these things."  He looked at Xander.  "You wanted to use tear gas."

"It'd get the humans out of their compound," Xander agreed. "The demons are cold blooded so cold air.  Fire extinguishers maybe."  They nodded at that.  "We're still doing some research on that part.  Thomas was supposed to text me when he had it.  Should be within a few hours."

"We're at Gibbs' house checking on the boat for him," Abby said as she walked out of Garcia's office.  "Xander, I think she's your sort of woman."

"Clearly if she can't take a hint.  Anya couldn't either," he said.  He sighed.  "I've got to call her later."

Dean gave him an odd look.  "No you don't."

"Yeah I do.  She said so."

"The girls said they'd hunt her down and marry you off," Dean countered.  Xander gave him a dirty look.  Dean stared back.  "They will, dude."

"No they won't.  They're worried Anya's going to warp me.  They'll calm down about it."  She finally made it through the security station and he shook his head.  "Some people need hit by the clue bus.  That cult leader is one."

"Is he controlling the people who shot at you?" Morgan asked.

Xander shrugged. "We don't think they can do that.  Sam and Thomas say they don't have any sort of controlling ability beyond being persuasive and good in bed to their cult members that they're feeding off the energy of."

"Your director will have to comply," she said in a snotty voice, holding out the letter.  Xander pulled his service piece and pointed it at her.  She wet herself.  "What are you doing?"

"It's pretty clear you're either demonic, in thrall to a demon, or a threat to the US and my personal safety, lady.  They're the only sort of women who like me the way you appear to.  In my service piece are blessed silver, holy water hollow point bullets.  If you are demonic, they will end you," he said matter of factly but didn't sound angry, upset, or huffy to his ears.  Which was what he was going for.  "If you're just in thrall, killing you will probably backlash that demon, who will be considered a threat to the US because she or he is tainting agents to use for his or her own agenda.

"If you're simply evil, it'll be better to end you now, before your evil plan starts to hurt others.  If you are demonic, we can arrest you.  If you're in thrall, Dean might be able to save you by cutting the bonds you have.  If you're simply evil, I'd beg the agents in here to save your pathetic ass and admit to your plans so they can stop anything that's gotten beyond the planning stage."  She let out a whimper.  "Ten seconds," he said, sounding bored.  She crapped herself then slowly backed away.  "Five."  She ran to Morgan and babbled at him.  He put his gun back and put his shirt back down over his holster.  "Knew you were evil."  He looked at Spenser.  "And hey, no more plans to enthrall all the women in DC."

"Xander," he moaned, shaking his head.  "I knew you were going to do something like that but really!"

"Don't do it in the building next time," Hotch said.  "Please?"

Xander shrugged. "Only if I'm attacked."

"That's fine.  We'll back you up for that."  Xander grinned sweetly.  "Are you sure he's sane, Spenser?"

"Most of the time.  It's just the evil bitch league that drives him to extremes unless there's another apocalypse or someone hurts someone he protects, like a slayer."

"Good to know."

"I can't believe they made you profile me," Xander complained.

"It's the most fun I've had in *years*, Xander.  The possessions, the bad childhood, the hunting and the combat trauma?  I had a lot of fun working up your profile.  It's really thick too.  You should be proud.  You took me longer than the last sexual significance killer trying to make an obscure literary fantasy come true.  I even included a part to show what would've snapped you to put you on our caseload if you had went evil yourself."

Xander blushed. "Gee, Spenser, you sound like we should go have dinner," he joked lightly, trying not to be embarrassed.

"If I swung your way, I would," he said with a grin.  Xander nodded, sighing a bit.  "Too bad I'm straight."

"Very," Dean agreed.  "The slayers would like that."  Guards came in.  "It's all right, guys.  It's handled.  She's confessing."

"Sir, can I see your pass?" one of them asked Xander.  He handed it and his ID case over.  He got a horrified look.  "DCIS?"

"Yup, tis me," he said dryly.  "And ISC."

"Oh, shit, you're him," one muttered.  "Is she demonic?"

"Evil and trying to start a world takeover bid with a cheesy calendar," Abby told him.  "Xander gave her the choice to confess.  She's doing good with it."

The guards nodded, calling their boss to let him know what had happened.  Their boss said to leave it alone and let the profilers handle it so they did.   One looked at Xander.  "What sort of load do you guys carry?"

"I'm trying out our new multipurpose bullet.  Usually we'd carry blessed silver or holy water hollow point ones.  This is a combination of them."  He pulled his gun to show off a bullet once he had ejected the clip.  "It's only a tiny bit of holy water but a little bit goes a long way with most demons who're doing bad things."  He grinned.  "It's a bitch to mass produce but they're very handy."

Dean nodded.  "Very.  Him, me, and my dad all worked on those.  Getting the bubble for the holy water is a pain in the ass."

The guards looked it over.  "Can we talk to your armory people about getting special loads in case we're invaded?" the more senior one asked.

"Sure!  We make them by the case," Xander told him.  "Or we can tell the local armorer how to make them.  Our current guy's name is Glen."  He took a notepad to write down the number.  "That's the armory's direct line so you can talk to him and get specs.  You guys can keep that one.  I've got a spare clip in case we're attacked since we came up with semi- classified geek toys."  Spenser lit up his light saber.  "Like the laser application there."  They moaned, one drooling.  Xander grinned.  "Dean makes those.  We're seeing if they can help slayers."

"Wow," one of them said.  "Thanks, Agent Harris.  We'll try to keep them off you here in the building."

"Next time I'll warn better," he promised with a goofy, good boy grin.  "I'm sorry I caused some paranoia.  I'm really edgy about my personal security sometimes."

"It's understandable with who you are and what you deal with," the second guard said.  They left to tell their boss about the bullets and how to get in touch with their armory.  The FBI would be on the front lines if something happened in DC.  They might need them.

"Nice save," Hotch mouthed.  Xander just grinned and put his gun back again, fastening down the strap.  "Warn us too?"

Xander nodded.  "I can do that."  He grinned at Spenser.  "You sure about dinner?"

"We can have dinner but don't expect it to get past that, Xander.  Sorry, still straight."

"Pity.  I could use someone to offset my lack of brains."  Abby swatted him.  "Hey!"

"Shut up, Xander.  You're very smart.  Even if you aren't my level or Sammy's level of smart you're still very people and demon smart."  She gave him a cuddle.  "Though, I agree.  We'll be hunting down Anya if you two take up together again."  She let him go and bounced over to go over what they knew about the demons in the cult with them.  The lab had gotten a few pieces of evidence and it was pointing at some weaknesses that the guys may not have thought of.

Dean pointed.  "See?  If even the nice one will hunt her down..."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "She's not bad, Dean."

Dean snorted.  "I don't care if she is or not.  It looks bad for the second in command of the ISC to be dating a vengeance demon, whose sole purpose in life is to make others miserable for making mistakes."

"You'd rather I date an evil woman?" Xander asked dryly.

"Xander, I don't care if you date evil girls, evil guys, or evil slayers.  Just don't date Anya!  You kept us all up after the last time.  And yes, I heard her sneak in after that chocolate incident."  Abby gave him an odd look.  "I did.  They kept me up.  Why were you in the office anyway?"

"Sam put demon warding marks on my bed."

"Good!  I'll have to put them around the rest of your place.  I swear, we're going to set you up with someone who'll be good to the girls."

"Anya was good to Dawn."

"Now she's back to work and she probably won't be good to the slayers."

"Whatever," Xander said, walking off shaking his head.

"It's to the right, Xander," Spenser called after him.  He waited until he was out of sight and hearing range.  "Don't let him catch you calling John.  He'll turn it into a fight before walking off because he feels the trust is broken."

"I have more subtlety," Dean promised.  He smirked at Abby, who grinned back but got back to going over results with them.  Xander came back from the bathroom and had information from Sam and Thomas on his voicemail.  Letting them listen to it helped and Daniel said they could have some DCIS agents as backup.

***

John took the paper Sam was holding up as he walked behind him, reading it over.  "How are we stopping her?"

"We extended the wards from the prison up here.  Dawn and Phoebe did it together.  There's no demon teleporting out for a mile around the base," Sam said.  "I added some warding runes on Xander's walls in the same paint as his walls are after we got done painting.  There's still ones on his bed, which is why they play on the fold-out in his office, which keeps Dean up."

"She's not a bad girl," Mac said as he sat down across from Sam.  "I've talked to her."

"She's not good for Xander," Dawn said as she sat down.  "She was always complaining about something.  Yeah, they were kinda happy now and then, but it wasn't a content happy and it wasn't a good happy.  No happy relationship has the woman complaining loudly in public in front of everyone in the town that she's not getting enough orgasms."

Mac blushed.  "She did?"  Dawn nodded.  "Shoot.  She seemed nice."

"She's okay and I don't mind him and Anya.  I like Anya.  She grows on you after a while and you quit being shocked at her bluntness.  But I want Xander to be happy.  All of us girls want Xander to be happy with someone who won't try to end the world.  She's back to being demonic.  That's going to cause problems for him."

"Daniel said he didn't care as long as it wasn't a case," Speed pointed out. "Though, for the record, I do agree that Xander was settling for having someone there and getting sex," he said at Dawn's searching look.  He had spent nearly a year inside Xander's head, he could judge that.  "That's why they didn't go through with the marriage."  Dawn nodded.  John gave him a horrified look.  "Some of the other vengeance demons showed him what their life together would be like so he left her at the altar."  He looked at Dawn again. "I think driving her off is the wrong approach."

"She'll end up being a case.  We've already talked, Speed.  She agreed some day a vengeance demon would end up being a case of you guys'.  As much as I love Anya, she agreed she came back for the sex.  Not because she loves Xander or anything else.  I pointed out that was unfair and she snorted and said Xander didn't mind.  He didn't have things like emotional ties to people."

"Yeah, he has some pretty deep ones," Speed agreed.  "I wouldn't let him hear."

"We're not.  They pushed back their departure to meet with someone in the patent's office about the classified nature of some of the stuff.  She'll be here the night before anyway since she can't really carry a cellphone on the job."

John nodded slowly.  "We'll talk with her when she shows up," he decided.  "I want what's good for the boy.  Everyone should have what Mary and I did."  They all smiled.  "He deserves it and someone should be there to calm him down."  He handed the note back to Sam.  "We'll deal with it."  They nodded and got back to dinner.  Mac stayed to talk to Sam about something else while he monitored the girls.

One of the older slayers looked at him.  "You're very uptight about the girls' safety, John."

"That's because they're still girls.  They should have a parental unit of some sort to enforce rules before they start going wild."

"Most of the time we don't mind," Dawn offered.  "Only when they turn into overprotective boobs and start doing background checks on teachers and our dates."

John smirked.  "It helped."

"It may have but it's kinda creepy."

"So?  It keeps you girls safe.  Teachers know they're on the public registries, kiddo.  They know a lot of parents are paranoid these days."  She slumped.  "Granted, I did it when my boys were little, but in our field you can't be too careful.  It's not like we've said anything to the half-demon running one of the junior high classes.  I won't put up with a sex offender around you girls however."

"I know.  Still kinda overbearing at times. Especially when you do our dates," Dawn told him.

He shrugged. "We don't want to come identify you some day soon, Dawn.  Remember, you draw the same sort Xander does."

"I know.  I know why too," she sighed.  "Fine."

He grinned.  "Some year you'll be doing your own before you take a job."

"Uh-huh."  She got back to her dinner, shaking her head.  "He's being a dad.  Xander, Dean, and Sam have perfected the overprotective big brother routine.  It's for our own good, we know that, but now and then we have to rail at the unfairness of John not letting us go to the party out at the Hallis farm the other night."

"There's no way in hell I'd let you girls go that far out into the country where there's going to be liquor and drugs," he said dryly.  "The first two times Dean snuck away to one, I tanned his behind and I will do it to yours, young lady."

"I wasn't going to go for that reason, John.  Geez!"

He gave her a look.  "I don't care if you were going to meet a cute guy and get laid, Dawn.  The answer is still no."  Some of the other girls choked.  "It's unsafe.  If you girls want to host a safe party, without drugs or liquor, ask Daniel."

"I hadn't thought of that."  She looked around. "He's not here but we'll talk about it later on."  He smiled at that.  "We all know the rules."

"Good.  I'm glad I don't have to post them again."  He looked at Faith, who blushed.  "I don't care if you and Dean go be noisy, Faith.  You're an adult and you can make those choices.  Until you bruise my son from whatever strange, exotic thing you had planned for prom night, I'm good with it."

She cackled.  "I'm not that kinky, Papa Smurf."  She finished up and stood up.  "Yo, who has KP?"  A few girls groaned and finished up, going to gather the used dishes to start on them.  John gave her an amused look.  "*I* got called to the school this time."  Dawn snickered.  "Because some of the girls were arguing over something tiny and meaningless.  So yeah, three days of KP for being bitches."  She walked off.  Since John had given her permission she'd have to come up with something fun for Dean that night.  She did have that kick ass dress that made her look smokin' and beyond.  Hell, if Xander had drooled, she knew she was hot.

Dawn looked at John.  "What if some of the girls want to go to the lock-in at the school after the prom?"

"If they want to, that's up to them.  I will not put up with them getting drunk that night. I  won't put up with them using drugs.  It's not safe and we don't know if drugs work differently on you girls.  If they want to have a gentle night with their boyfriends, that's how it was done in my day too, and many girls got married off because of it.  I'd expect more sense than that from you girls."  She grinned at that. "And a hint beforehand that they were planning on staying out that night so we didn't worry.  They'd need to be back by lunch the next day."  Sam gaped.  "What?"

"You about bashed my skull in with the yelling about me wanting to go to the lock-in."

John looked at him.  "That's because you were dating a girl that not even Dean would've touched, Sammy.  She was the definition of 'has something'."

"Actually, she didn't, she was a virgin until that night, and she was a bit bipolar, Dad."

John shrugged.  "Still strange and wrong somewhere, son.  I'm just glad you didn't end up knocking her up.  I'd hate to have her as a daughter-in-law."

Sam groaned, shaking his head.  "If the girls have that accident?"

"I'd be very happy to walk them down the aisle if the boy steps up to be a man and does right by her.  If not, we'll have words with the boy."

Dawn cackled.  "We all know what birth control is, John.  They made sure of it."

"Good.   Though I hear that they do have a tiny failure rate.  That's how we got Dean."

"TMI!" she said quickly.  He smirked at her.  "Thank you.  We'll be *really* careful so we don't have to dye our dresses white."

"Good.  I'd like that.  Though I am looking forward to grandchildren some year."  He gave Sam a pointed look.

Sam stared back.  "You want me to date Dawn, Dad?"

"Actually, I'd rather you dated Xander, son."

Sam's jaw fell open.  "Excuse me?"

"You two calm each other down.  You get his moods, he pulls you out of the library.  Works for me.  Or him and Dean."

"I'm still straight, Dad.  Thanks for sticking up for that."

"If you wanted grandkids from that match, I'd have to intervene and I'd get yelled at by Leo too," Dawn quipped.

John choked, letting Sam help him calm down.  He looked at her.  "If you *ever* pull a stunt like that, Leo gets your tanned ass after me, young lady.  That's against natural rules."

She grinned.  "I know.   But hey, Ethan might if you asked him nicely."  She got up and put her dishes in the drop off spot then went to do her homework.

"I'm still straight, Dad.  Don't worry about it."

John patted him on the arm.  "Thanks, Sammy."  He finished up and went to sulk in his own room.  Dawn needed spanked if she could make that joke.

Annabelle looked down, looking innocent.  "Plenty of the girls would like it if you liked tough girls," she offered with a grin.

Sam grinned back.  "I can't date anyone underage, Anna.  I'm still getting over Jess's death too.  If and when I'm ready, I'll announce it by finding someone."  A few girls sighed.  "Don't you three have research papers due soon?"  They scrambled to do that.  They knew they'd be switched to Research with Thomas as the teacher if they didn't hold up their grades.  A few others scurried out too.  They knew they had papers to do and they wanted to keep their Sammy staring time too.

Mac shook his head at the older slayer's odd look at him.  "Sam teaches the higher research oriented class.  The girls have bad crushes on him. They used to sit down in the library with him to stare at him, so he'd hand them a book to look through for what he was looking up.  It turned into a research class."

"If they don't keep their grades up and do the papers he assigns then he sends them to watch Thomas instead," Mary said with an evil smirk.  "The girls would lose their Sammy staring time."

She shook her head.  "That's bad."

"They're teenage girls and I know my boys aren't going to touch them.  They can crush safely on them and the agents."

"Pity we can't go on the panty raids they used to," Anna sighed, looking at Mary.  "They had a lot of fun taking back what John confiscated."  The older slayer gave her a horrified look.  "They did."

"They did.  They used their stealth training to break into many apartments to steal stuff.  Drove us all nuts," John complained as he walked back in for some coffee.  "Underwear, t- shirts, whatever they could get of our clothes.  Then they'd hide them for their noisy times."  The girls all giggled at that.  "Most of you were."

"I didn't panty raid except the first few times," Amber complained.  "I've got something better."  She nodded at her sleepy girlfriend. "Speaking of, we're going to bed.  Night all."  She got up and walked her girlfriend back to their room.

"You're letting them date?" the older slayer asked.

"The girls can date as long as they're not dating dirtbags and they're of age," John told her.  "We're cautious about who they date in case it's someone who has ties to a group that'd like to capture and/or kill a slayer.  They're more than allowed to have meaningful relationships but we'll stop any of them that're turning into sluts and doing it for the cheap thrill.  I consider myself like the girls' father.  I'm firm about some rules but all good parents should be."

She sighed.  "I guess.  It still seems a bit rigid."

"No.  The girls get their freedom.  That's why we got the girls their own cars.  That and so they didn't have to drag someone shopping."

She rolled her eyes.  "There's more to life than that.  What're they going to do when they go to college?"

"Do the same thing they are here because the habits are ingrained to be careful, watch yourself and your surroundings, and make sure they're not dating something harmful to them."

She shook her head.  "I guess."  She finished up and put her plates away, going to talk to the other older girls in the building they had in town.  "John was setting down rules for the prom stuff."

Olivia looked over.  "He's done a good job with those girls.  They went from having a watcher who controlled everything in their lives to living like a family with fair, but tough rules that're meant to protect them.  I'm sure if they get hurt, the people in my job would be called immediately and not for vengeance reasons.  Because we hate it when that happens."  The other woman looked confused.  "If your fifteen-year-old daughter is dating a guy that's over the legal age limit and you don't like it, plenty of mothers have made rape claims based on the statutory age clause.  A good third of our caseload is that instead of real rapes, real crimes against kids, those things."

"He's making it so they can't do normal teenage things.  No, they shouldn't drink but every teen tries it."

"I'm sure they would but what happens when a slayer gets drunk and starts a fight?" Olivia shot back.  "With our extra strength and speed, we could end up killing someone. Beyond that, even the best parents set down that rule.  I've seen ones that let their kids try it at home so they know what it's like, but they tape it so they can talk about it.  I've seen ones who let their kids get really drunk and then made them do PT too.  I'm sure John was like that with the boys.  But all parents who give a damn don't want their kids drinking or doing drugs.  Even if they do realize they're going to try to experiment a few times.  Hell, I know a few of the girls have tried pot.  John knows they tried pot because he sicced one of the guard dogs on them the other morning."  The other woman blushed at that.  "The dogs pinning them and growling at their jackets made sure they knew he knew."

"Much faster than a drug test too," one of the other women said.  She looked over.  "He's doing a pretty good job for having so many girls and only having raised boys before.  They've got Abby and the female agents for female things.  Abby said she gave many talks about sex when they first got to the base."

"I'm sure she did.  She was the only woman on base outside the cook until Stella got hired," Olivia agreed.  "My partner has a few kids and he said John's doing good with them too.  They're sensible, practical, doing good in school, and the ones that aren't don't get bitched at but get pushed toward things they can do and might want to do for a career.  Only the older girls in Cleveland are sluts from what I heard and Xander scared them straight the second time they had to have a talk about slutty issues."

"From what I heard, the first time six girls were caught sharing three guys, four diseases, and a mass case of crabs," the other woman butting in said.

The worried slayer shuddered.  "Eww."

"Yup," Olivia agreed.  "The second time they got caught with that sort of problem, Xander screamed instead of John.  Those girls still aren't looking at boys."  That got a gape.  "Xander's a  great big brother to the younger ones.  Especially Dawn."  That got a nod from the other two.  "I wouldn't worry.  If the girls want to fight against the restrictions they can rebel and John'll see that.  I'm sure Sam did at least once."

"Probably," the other one agreed.  "Did you know Research 3 was called Sammy Staring Time?"

Olivia laughed. "The girls used to have such major crushes on the two younger Winchesters, Xander, and some of the agents.  One of the girls in Cleveland snuck into Ryan Wolfe's apartment one night from what I heard."

"They said they used to panty raid," the worried one admitted.  "A lot."

Olivia nodded.  "So I heard.  It proved their stealth training because some of them didn't realize it until they got dressed and had no underwear.  John got them settled down.  Sam knows about the crushes, the same as Dean does.  They ignore it but they do tweak it now and then to get the girls back onto track of what they're supposed to be doing.  The girls were going off about the holidays and the Secret Santa they're doing for Rodney's project since they can't get off base where they are.  Dean got into PT with them without a shirt on and it stopped all that talk.  They dove into training that day to see him sweaty and to touch bare, sweaty skin.  Faith giggled her butt off, but they fixed it and refocused them on the training that'll some day save their lives."  She smiled.  "Remember, originally it was just Xander and the first few agents.  Xander was doing double duty.  Then Xander hired Sam and Dean for the girls.  After the invasion, their father showed up and Xander asked him to be a parent to the girls.  He's done a good job keeping them from running wild. Otherwise we'd have a lot of baby slayers on the way."

"I don't even want to think about babies," the other woman said.  "I have one. That's enough."  Olivia looked at her.  "She's with my mother. My mother started to scream at me when she heard.  She had an idea I'd be caught up in this."

"I think most of us had the reputation for getting into trouble," Olivia admitted.  "Have we heard anything else good from the base?"

"They're going to talk to Xander's girlfriend to drive her off."  Olivia and the other woman stared at her.  "Anya, something like that?"

"Anya's a vengeance demon from what Dawn said," Olivia said dryly.  "Apparently they don't think that's a healthy relationship.  She did say they almost married once but I guess they've been over with for a few years now."  She shrugged.  "It'll be handled if there's a problem I'm sure."

"You don't consider that odd?" the worried one asked.

Olivia shook her head.  "No.  I heard that Xander killed a demon once that left him with a small curse that drags bad girls out of the woodwork to come try to take him.  They're protecting him. Xander's a close friend so they're protecting him.  The girls going hunting for her might be different."  She gave her a long look.  "Xander's much different in the field than he is here.  The same as he's much different off duty and outside of training us.  In the field, Xander's very focused and very uptight.  Almost paranoid about the team's safety.  The first time I met Xander he set down some hard and fast slayer rules for me, including I should be wanting to eat more.  We handled the case they had demanded to have him called in on.  He ended up decapitating the demon because that was the clan's punishment for touching his daughter and our boss said they could do their own or we could arrest, but they wanted that.  Then he led me and my partner to take out the vampires no one had gotten to that were bothering the demons in that neighborhood.  The end of my first month as a slayer was taking out a nest."

The other women shuddered. "Did Xander come off as a hard, headcase sort?"

"No.  He came off as very hard.  Very focused.  Very gruff and a bit icy cold.  Especially about the vampires. After the nest was gone he relaxed some, joked with the people in our city's unit.  Came back to make the report with us before leaving.  Told my boss and my partner how I was now in danger, laid it out very clearly for them and found a half-demon at the station who was part of a plan to get us new slayers.  He drove home the point about slayer blood drawing things to us because I was injured.  He told them I'd need a watcher sort.  Then he told me to eat something."  They laughed at that.  "I can't imagine how Sam Carter deals with the Marines nagging her on base."

"I asked, she said she flipped the first one, proved she had better self-defense training, and then went back to eating," the non-worried one said with a grin.  "We'll get there some day.  If I can pass John and Brenda."

"Is she a natural Winchester?" the worried one asked.

Olivia shook her head.  "No.  She had one of the worst of the old line.  Her watcher kept her out of school for the most part.  John saw she was a lot like his boys so he took her under his wing.  She's not great in combat situations but training she's great at.  John's good at it so they bonded and then she slowly became an honorary Winchester.  John's extra protective over her."

"If he had natural daughters, would they have been on the hunt?"

"He doesn't stop her from hunting, he makes sure she's better prepared than the boys probably were," Olivia corrected.  "She's been sent to a number of things because she's good enough.  She doesn't like patrol but she's good for the bigger call outs.  She's one of the ones the other girls look to for orders. Her word can be John's at time.  Even though Xander's in charge of training and Dean's over their physical training under Xander, John still rules the house."

They all nodded at that.  They understood that all too well.  "We should pass out now.  John promised we'd be running tomorrow," the one on the couch said, getting up to stretch.  "This has got to be easier as a teenager."

"Maybe," Olivia said. "Maybe not.  The girls look tired after their Saturday classes with everyone.  Then again, so do we after an all day."

The other woman nodded, standing up as well.  "I'm exhausted after a morning of training.  Night, Olivia."

"Night, ladies.  I'll head up after I call home."  They nodded.  She called her partner.  "Hey.  How's my city?"  She listened then laughed.  "That bad?"  He said something else and she groaned.  "Trade ya.  I've got daily training, PT, and weapons training.  Not even the Academy's course was this hard.  We're getting up at five for a four mile run in the snow around the base.  Yeah, they're serious.  That, self-defense, and get this I didn't pass further than basic self-defense.  Weapons of various classes.  At least I passed gun qualifications.  I only have to pass shotgun and rifle, crossbow, sword, staff, and scythe training with that.  Another class of self-defense then the advanced slayer tactics class teaching me to use my extra strength and speed.  Then I've graduated to patrol once we take on a case."  He said something dryly.

"Maybe, I have no idea.   Dean handles that and tells us when we pass on.  How'm I really?  Damn tired," she said.  "How's the guys?"  She listened and smiled.  "That's good.  Tell them I said hi and we have a lot of snow here.  It's colder here than at home.  Lots of open areas for the wind to get you.  The base's docs are bastards but pretty cool even if they mean and try to be smartasses.  Yeah, I'm doing okay.  Just really tired.  I hate self-defense class.  I have no idea if you guys got this in the service, but this really does suck, Elliot.  Honestly.  Three hours of that, then lunch, then weapons and demonology."  He laughed.  "Yeah, yuck it up, Elliot.  Whoever's going to be watching my back has to go through the books and the tapes too.  Possibly self defense too so they can keep up with me.

"Yeah, I'm fine otherwise.  The Winchester clan has a strong hand on the younger girls so they don't run wild and us too because they treat us like we're pledges at the academy all the time.   Yup.  Though we did get warned not to go visit the demonic strip bar. Apparently they don't like us and the last ones that went got attacked."  He choked out a laugh.  "Glad you think it's funny.  No, I'm fine.  Missing delis but I'm good.  Sure, send me some, please."  She smiled.  "Thanks, Elliot.  Have a good night."  She hung up and went up to bed.  The faster she got done with her training the faster she could get home and go back to taking scum off the streets.  She could definitely see where her new training was gong to be helpful to her real job.  "Super Slaying Cop: able to outrun the fastest drug dealer or pickpocket, able to leap tall trash piles with a single grunt of effort, able to get into spandex again because after this I'd better have a better body," she muttered as she climbed into bed.  "Still too tired to write reports."

***

Anya showed up and found herself trapped. "Hey, that's not nice!  I don't like bondage beyond handcuffs," she whined at John.

He shrugged.  "I don't care, Anyanka.  That's not why I put that up."

She glared.  "What?"

"We're not sure you're the best thing for Xander."

"How dare..."

He held up the stuff in his hand. "It'll burn like a bitch," he interrupted.  She settled down into the chair he had put inside the devil's trap.  "Anyanka, Xander is starting to feel things for you again."  She gave him a shrug.  "You've been heard saying that you don't.  Do you think that's a good relationship for you to be in?"

"It's very good for me.  I get what I need and he wears out that stupid curse," she sulked.  She clearly didn't pout as well as Xander.  Xander would've been able to pout himself out of this stupid devil's trap.

He stared at her.  "It's not good for Xander, Anya.  What's going to happen when you dump him?  Or when he finds someone he wants to spend some meaningful time with?"

"If he does that then I can curse him," she said, cheering up.

"Hmm, and he can curse you because that means that you felt something and it's more than sex."  She slumped again, going back to pouting.  "You need to figure out if it is or not.  If you're just playing with the boy, you should tell him that.  Because honesty is good for this sort of thing.  He might continue sleeping with you anyway.  I have no idea about that.  But I will not see the boy hurt and if you hurt him I'll calling one of your people on you."

She glared at him.  "They can't do that."

"Your boss can and he has to kiss slayer butt for years after that screw up with the scythe," he shot back.

Her eyes narrowed.  "Does he know you're doing this?"

"I'm taping it so he can see and hear every single thing we say," he said, pointing at the camera.  "I'm not going to go behind the boy's back like that.  I did this so you have time to think and see if it's an honest desire to be with him.  I don't want the boy hurt.  I like the boy too much and I have too much respect for him to see him mope for weeks on end because you're a cold bitch when you want to be."

"In my line of work that's a good thing."

"Yay.  That's fine for you, Anyanka.  It's great for the ones you serve now since you're over lost childhoods.  There's been plenty I could have referred to you before.  Including some of the girls in the other building and that boy of yours."

"You want to steal him," she sniffed.

"I'm not interested in anyone that way, girl.  I had my shot with Mary."  She grimaced.  "I'll probably never go for another woman."

"Xander's not a woman."

"No, he's a friend and I respect him.  I don't want to see him hurt because you're treating him like a playtoy."

"He likes being my toy."

"I doubt it.  Remember right before the near wedding?"  She nodded with a smile and a small, pleased sigh.  "He's starting to get there again, Anya.  He can't marry you while you're a demon.  You can't give it up this time without dying.  Are you willing to die to have him and keep him?"

She shook herself free.  "D'Hoffryn said I could have him."

"D'Hoffryn is scared that Xander will come after him.  He's using you to keep Xander busy."

She grimaced.  "That's possible."

"It's probable.  Think strategically."

"Poo.  That's not my thing."  She waved a hand.  "That's Xander's thing."

"That's because he's an excellent hunter, Anya.  You're keeping him from doing that," Sam said as he walked in.  He shut the door and came over to sit in the devil's trap with her.  "We don't want to see you two break up.  It'll be hell on everyone.  You'll get punished for pouting on the job.  He'll be hurt too badly to work and might end up fired. Then the girls will be without him and he'll be back to being a roving hunter again."  She shuddered at that. "Yeah, you're pleasing him, you're making him happy in a limited way with the sex.  Unfortunately you never saw that Xander bonds tightly to those he's with.  You remember how he'd bend over backwards for Cordelia?"

"I do," she admitted, pouting at him.

He smiled.  "He feels like that about you now.  You coming back has strengthened that bond you have.  He's trying to see if he's ready to go back to what you had and see if you can make it work this time since he's got a calling now."

"He doesn't have to."

"He sees the slayers, every single one of them, like his little sister," Sam told her.  "He'd die to protect them.  The whole underground knows that."

She nodded.  "I've heard that rumor."

"Are you wiling to stand with him as their big sister?  Help them grow up strong, moral slayers who can save themselves and the world?  You've seen him train with them.   Making them better than even Buffy ever was.  That's why he got us."

She slumped farther in the chair.  "I don't think I could be that responsible for other humans.  You guys die and stuff."

"We do.  Slayers die sooner," John agreed quietly.  "That's why they train, to hold it off."  He gave her a sympathetic look.  "Anya, he's looking for the long haul this time.  Someone to be with him for more than sex and more than fun.  If that's what you want too, then we'll swallow it I guess."

Sam nodded.  "We will.  They all know you're Xander's ex anyway.  Even though two cases have refused to work with him because he's seeing you.  If you make him happy then we're all for it.  We do think you two mean different things when you say you're together.  Because Xander does say that you're together."

"I didn't know he was becoming emotionally tied again.  I should use that to do something."

"You hurt the boy that way and we will hunt you," John assured her.

She glared at him. "It is my calling."

"So?"  He shrugged.  "Mine is to hunt the evil bitches and bastards who hurt others."

"Would you do this if Xander was dating another demon?"

"If they were going to hurt him, the girls, or anyone else, yes," Sam said.  "If they're not going to harm the girls, the base, the ISC, or Xander, then no.  It's no different than Buffy having dated Spike and Angel.  We might even accept a succuba but not if she was going to feed on him and hurt him.  That's the standard we're setting.  Xander's like a member of the family.  We don't want him hurt and we don't want to see you hurt either.  You've been hurt enough with all this stuff and the rehumaning, all that."

"Xander was the only one that got that," she said quietly, staring at him.

He gave her a sad smile.  "I don't mind if you're friends, but Xander's my friend and we don't want to see him hurt.  So we're asking that you consider what you want with Xander and let him know.  Talk to him instead of sleep with him for a few hours.  We don't want to see either of you miserable.  Beyond that, if you make Xander miserable, the girls are going to get you."

She looked confused.  "Is this the shovel talk?"

"No, this is the my shotgun can give you pain like you would not believe when I fire rock salt into your ass talk.  Shovels are for girls like Willow," Sam said honestly.  She smiled and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.  "No one gave it to you before?"

"No.  The girls didn't seem to care."

"We do care about Xander's well-being.  We're friends.  Buffy's a bit selfish," he admitted.

"She was."  She stared at him.  "I'll consider my entanglement with Xander and talk to him about what he wants.  When is he getting home?"

"Tomorrow.  He had to stay over to talk about the patent stuff.  It's being classified for the most part," John said quietly.

"Shoot.  That means no one can buy it and give him money."

"He has money," Sam told her. "He never spends his paycheck."

"That should be mine," she whimpered.

"Anya, modern women can support themselves," John said patiently.  "You have a good job and should be able to do that."

"Whatever."  She stood up.  "Can I get free now?  This is boring."

Sam got up and covered one of the lines to let her out with his shirt.  "Thank you for considering it, Anya."

She patted him on the cheek.  "Some day I'll answer one on you and then we'll see what I think."

He smirked.  "I was taught to be honorable to any lady I dated.  I never make promises I can't keep."

She slumped.  "Pity."  She faded out, going to her favorite demon bar to think.  She didn't know her full-body, lifesize sex toy had feelings again.  They ruined everything.  She pouted into her wine until the vengeance demon who had her old job showed up.  "Xander's getting emotional ties to me."

"That's excellent news.  This means you can finally get him back for dumping you at the altar."

"No, he had a point.  I saw what they showed him and it was horrible.  We'd be poor.  He'd be sweaty all the time from work.  We'd eventually fall out of love and I'd turn into his mother, only without the alcohol."  She took another drink.  "His friends used a devil's trap to talk to me about it.  They didn't want either of us hurt.  Sam said I'd pout."

"Winchester?  The chosen one?" she demanded.

Anya nodded.  "He's a friend and training the slayers."

"That could work in our favor.  Does the boss know?"

"Yup.  He's very wary and thinks Sam won't break."  She took another drink.  "It'd take a strong problem to break Sam Winchester.  I looked into his soul and it's rusty but not even starting to crack from it.  If he finds love, all bets are off."

"Pity."  She got her own drink and sipped it slowly.  "So what're you going to do?"

"I don't know if I want to be attached to him.  To be exclusive and give up all my other perks.  All the fun and games that Xander never gave me before and I had to find other places."

"You cheated on him?" she asked.

Anya nodded.  "He wouldn't play with me like I wanted.  It was good but when I wanted rough, he either played a different sort of rough or wouldn't go as far as I wanted.  He's good at what he does but he's limited in what he's willing to try."  She finished her glass of wine.  "When he was in the mood to play rough it was always something like a claiming thing.  Pouncing, marking, holding down to scent mark and claim me.  He let me buy almost any sex toy I wanted but half the time he wasn't into toys.  I did like his tongue but he was always very focused on making me sweaty as well as orgasming.  It's not as fun when I'm sweaty.  I can't concentrate."

"Does he know you cheated?"

"He might.  I'm not sure."  She looked at her coworker.  "At this point it's a moot point.  Statute of limitations."

"You've answered older ones.  Tad has too."

"Xander would never call them on me.  He knows how that works."  D'Hoffryn appeared and they both looked at him.  "Are you using me to keep Xander form hunting you?"

"Now and then.  Sometimes to keep you from pouting.  Why are you here instead of working?"

"Xander's friends trapped me to talk to me about our relationship."

"Hunters wouldn't like another dating demons," he agreed.

"No, they said they'd put up with it as long as I was good to Xander.  Sam said he'd shoot me up the butt with rock salt if I hurt him."  She looked at him.  "They said Xander's getting emotionally attached again."

"That could be a problem.  You can't have a full relationship with him.  I can't unmake you a demon again without killing you," he said, staring her down.

"Which is why I'm here.  Sam wanted me to think about what I wanted so neither of us would get hurt.  He seemed to care about whether or not I'd get hurt if we broke up.  Said I'd pout."

"You're already pouting," the new vengeance demon said.

Anya glared at her.  "He's special to me.  If I needed him to, even before sleeping with him, he'd have come to help me."  She took her friend's drink to finish.  "I don't know what I want, D'Hoffryn."

"You're not allowed to get emotionally involved, Anya.  That's what got you fired before.  It leads to a conscience."

"In my job, emotional attachment is a good thing," she argued.  "Or else I'd never help those kids that beg me to help them get away."

"Good point.  You still can't enact vengeance if your conscience is that high."

She stared at him.  Then she sent him her last case, the one that she went to Xander to heal after.  He shuddered. "I need some in my job.  I understand why Hallie needed hers too."  She pursed her lips then looked around before looking at him again.  "I'd like to keep him as a casual friend, for after the bad cases."

"Then do so.  You may do that.  You may not become emotionally attached to him.  You may not move to the point you were when you got your powers back.  There's rumors you're emulating Summers."  He disappeared.

"I'm not an undead yo-yo," she said with a pout.  She searched and went to find her buddy.  "Hey," she said, sliding into his lap.  Abby hissed.  She glared. "Butt out."  She looked at Xander again.  "Can we talk?"

He stared at her.  "Who tried shit?"

"John and Sam trapped me to talk to me, see if I meant the same thing about you as you did me.  Sam was very worried I'd get hurt."

"They taped it," Abby said.

Xander looked at her.  "Do I not have a say in my own relationships?"

"Yes, but we'd like to see you with someone who won't get you fired.  We'd miss you, Xander."

He sighed, looking at Anya again.  She shot the whole conversation at him.  He'd think about forgiving Sam and John later.  "So what's with the big talk?"

"I...  D'Hoffryn said I can't get emotionally attached to you again.  I didn't realize you were, Xander.  I thought you knew it was just for pleasure and after bad cases."

He stroked her back.  "I don't mind that."

"You do because Sam was right, that's not fair to either of us.  I realized I started to crave you and to go back to where we were together and that's not possible.  You'd be fired and I'd get hunted by all the slayers for it.  Or I'd get dead because D'Hoffryn said I can't have a relationship because it makes me suck at my job."  She played with his chest.  "Beyond that, before we had so many faults. You wouldn't do things I wanted.  When you tried it wasn't what I really wanted.  You were messy sometimes and you had a bad diet, Xander."  She looked at him.  "I'd like to keep it as pleasure and after bad cases but I don't want to hurt you.  They made it really clear they were doing this so you don't get hurt because they respect you and want you to be happy."

Dean looked over at them.  "We'd like him to be happy, Anya.  If casual sex with you does it then those of us who're creeped out will deal.  Though it is impacting his job."  Xander glared.  "You were complaining two cases wouldn't let you work them because you were dating her again."

"And that's bad for your life," Anya said, staring into the deep brown eyes.  "I don't want to hurt you.  I never meant for you to get emotionally involved.  Sam even pointed out I get the same sort of care and attention Cordelia used to get from you after you two broke up.  I think that's pretty special."

"It is," he agreed quietly.  "Are we breaking up?"

"If you're thinking we're that far along, then I have to, Xander.  I can't let you be hurt and I can't let them be hurt when you get hurt and hunt us down."  She kissed him.  "I'll come visit?"

"Sure.  After bad cases if you want," he promised, giving her a cuddle.  She sighed and let him then wiggled free, standing up.  "I know, but you needed one.  You looked sad."

She patted him on the head.  "I can go find another case that needs me to work that out on."  She looked at Dean.  "You do know that they're watching Sam?  That the closer he comes to our areas, the more they want him?  That some are even hoping he turns the slayers to our side?"

"He can't with Dad or me even if he wanted to," Dean assured her.  She pouted and left.  He looked at Xander.  "It was Dad's idea, Xander.  He saw you getting emo about it and heard how she talked about you.  All they wanted was for her to consider how deep she wanted it to go.  Sam downloaded the tape to your email if you wanted to watch it.  Sam said he gave her the shovel talk too.  The first time anyone had."

"The girls didn't," he agreed.  "I could've handled it!"

"Xander, dad considers you family," Dean said gently.  "You get the same overprotective, nagging parent responses Sammy does and Brenda do."

"I'm not her."

"No but you were clearly being hurt.  If one of us was being hurt by our relationship he'd step in too.  Watch the tape, Xander."  Xander huffed but Abby handed over her laptop for him.  He settled in to watch it.  Dean watched him for a minute then looked at Abby.  "You okay?"

"I'm good but I'm going to miss the toys."

"We should have Dawn shrink the boat and bring it out for Gibbs."

She beamed.  "I wonder if we can."

"She can't shrink something that big.  We'd have to leave the SUV here," Xander said, looking over at her.  "They really didn't rag on her?"

"Nah.  Dad knew you'd be upset and thinking they did.  That's why he taped it.  Beyond that, if she makes you miserable, the girls are going to hunt her down and end her."

"They were making up hunting teams for that exercise," Abby admitted.  Xander glared.  "They don't want you to be hurt, Xander.  You know that."

"Whatever," he mumbled, watching it again.  Nothing showed that they had stopped it and restarted the tape.  Maybe they did respect him but it wasn't their right to do that to him.  He handed back the laptop, going out back to walk in the woods.

Abby stopped Dean from following, shaking her head.  "You need alone time for these moments."

"Fine."  He settled in again, looking around.  "This is a nice house."

"It is.  Gibbs has had it since his very first marriage, the one where his wife got killed by drug dealers."

"I didn't know that."

"Neither did we until he got a head injury.  It's why he came to NCIS."  She settled in better, looking out back.  "Poor guy."

"Dad and Sammy had a good point.  She's not good for Xander.  She'd end up hurting him a lot and he doesn't deserve that after all he's been through.  Not to mention how it could get him fired."

"Danny said as long as it doesn't impact a case he doesn't care."

"He's been taken off two cases already because of her."

"Oh."  She slumped.  "Would Giles fire him too?"  Dean nodded.  "Hell.  You're sure?"

"Yeah, pretty sure.  Buffy wasn't happy she was back."

"Crap."  She wrote an email to one of the girls in Cleveland to tell them Xander and Anya had broken up because she didn't want to be emotionally attached and Xander was moving that way again. That he was sulking.  The Tara robot should give him a call.  She put her laptop down again and stood up to stretch.  "I'm going up to bed."

"Night."  He made sure the house was sealed up then went to stand on the back porch.  He could almost feel the miserable and pathetic vibes from there.  Sometimes the bond they shared was too much.  He closed and locked the back door after making sure he had the keys Gibbs had given them.  Tracking Xander wasn't that hard.  He wasn't trying to hide his trail this time.  He found him sitting on a stump and moved to lean against a tree near him.  "It sucks."

"It does."

"But is it better than being fired, having the girls go on a rampage, and having to go back to hunting full time?"  Xander looked at him.  He nodded.  "The girls were pretty adamant that if she came back and hurt you they'd be going on a hunt.  With you being taken off two cases because of her, Danny might have to fire you some day for it interfering too often.  Or Giles since Buffy wasn't happy she was back and she has him twisted around her finger."

Xander considered that.  "I don't want to think the job comes above my life."

"It doesn't, but you have their respect, Xander.  You have a lot of respect and it's slipping.  Beyond that, you being miserable would make Sammy pout and be miserable too."

He nodded.  "I can see how the girls would do that."

"Dude, friends are supposed to feel bad when you're miserable."

Xander frowned.  "I did with Jesse but we were closer."

Dean moved closer, making the boy look at him.  Not that Xander was so much younger but sometimes his outlook and experiences were sheltered.  "It sucks when they break it off with you.  There's a lot of other women who would appreciate you, Xander.  Even some who aren't evil."  That got a light snort but a faint smile.  "Really.  Then you could date someone the girls could look up to.  Remember, whoever you or me or Sammy ends up with the girls are going to have to get along with.  I guess this is how single parents feel but we have to be careful for their sake.  Not to mention the job.  Higher ups could have pressured Anya to try to get into the prison or even fix cases on us.  Or to warp the girls."  Xander slumped, nodding at that.  "And who's to say that her coming back at that point wasn't D'Hoffryn's idea of keeping you off his tail and horns for that wish."

Xander stared at him.  "You think it was?"

"I think, honestly think, that he let her come back and keep happening because of that but he didn't push her toward you.  He's got to play politics and consider all the options of things.  You dating one of his helpers gives him some status and takes some of your respect in the demon community."

"I didn't think about that."

"Of course you didn't.  Only princesses are supposed to consider their marriages and boyfriends politically.  Only a few slayers and Dawn are princesses on base."

Xander grinned a bit bigger.  "Thanks, Dean."

"If you wanna fight with Dad and Sammy, do it away from me and the girls so we don't get sucked in?"

Xander nodded.  "I understand why he did it but I'll chew on him in person."

"Thanks."  He cuffed him gently on the head.  "Want to head back inside?"

"Maybe."

Dean hauled him up.  "Abby's already in bed."  That got a nod and they walked that way together.  It was comfortable in the woods with Xander, even if he did want a shotgun in his hands.  He was almost never in the woods without a gun.  "Do you feel strange just walking in the woods?"

"Kinda but mine's the hyena.  Missing the shotgun?"

"Yeah.  I'm hardly ever in the woods without a gun.  Food hunting, thing hunting.  Running after Sammy when he tried to run away a few times so I could use it to club him over the head."  Xander gave him a sideways look.  "He was little but a pain in my ass."

"But you love him," Xander pointed out.

"Yeah, he's my brother."  Xander nodded, looking down at his feet again.  "Some day you'll have the same feeling for your kids.  Not like I didn't do a lot of raising on Sammy."

"I guess.  If I have any.  I'm not thinking about it really."

Dean patted him on the back.  "Shut up, Xander.  You'll have kids to annoy everyone for decades.  Even Jack'll be impressed with how smartass your kids will be.  They'll make House and Speed hand on their jackass crowns too."

Xander grinned.  "Maybe if I decide to date some evil wench that's not from hell or any hell-like dimension."

"That's the spirit, but remember, even gay guys can use surrogates."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Dad reminded me of that before we left.  I think he's getting antsy about having grandchildren."

"Hmm."  Xander shook his head.  "I think Brenda'll have one first."

"No way."

"Way."  He grinned.  "I had a funny dream about a fight with her saying it was a magical pregnancy."

"Like *Dream* or dream?"

"No idea.  I wrote it down just in case.  Your dad blew."

"That could help.  If it was a vision dream, we need to know sooner."

"We'll see what happens."  They went into the house and up to the guest rooms.  Abby had claimed Gibbs' bed for her own.  They settled in for the night, listening to the quiet of the woods.  Xander was wondering why he didn't hear noisy slayers.  Dean was wondering why he didn't hear any of the birds.  So they both woke up when the doorknob shifted slowly.  One grabbed a knife.  One grabbed his service revolver.  The guy at the door screamed when he saw them and wet himself.

Abby came down the stairs.  "That had better not stain.  Gibbs will not like that."  The man spluttered.  "This is the home of Gunny Sergeant Leroy Jethro Gibbs, formerly of NCIS.  That means he's a former federal agent, sir.  Who in the frilly heck are you?"

"I've got to teach you how to swear," Dean complained.

She swatted him.  "I'm a good girl and good girls don't swear."  She called the cops.  "Hi, I need officers to respond to the unkind person who just got caught breaking into the house we're staying in.  Well, you might want to warn them he's a bit wet since he peed on himself but he's physically fine unless he moves.  That is this address, yes, ma'am.  Thank you.  Oh, we have a federal agent on property with his service revolver.  Just in case they're paranoid officers."  She hung up.  "Sit!" she snapped.  The man sat down.

"You're good," Dean said.

"Of course I am."  Officers came up the driveway ten minutes later.  "He's nasty and he peed on the floor like some puppy that needs house training and a rolled up newspaper.  Or something like that.  However you train puppies not to pee in the house."

The officers looked at them.  "Ma'am, where's the owner of the house?"

"On the DCIS base in North Dakota," Xander said, pulling up his credentials from where he had dropped them earlier.  They groaned.  "Gibbs is ISC now.  He's a Watcher."

"Oooh," one said with a hiss.  "I know a girl who went."

"Which one?  I'm Abby, the DCIS lab tech and that's Xander and Dean.  Dean's the girls' trainer and Xander's second-in-command at the Council."

"Sarabeth?" he asked.

"She's doing good.  Her grades are a bit low this term.  She's got a boy's scent and she's trying to make hunting plans that won't get her grounded to base.  She's been on a few good hunts in LA recently."

"She took to her training pretty well, passed onto patrol ready status about six months ago," Dean added.  "Still got a small problem where she doesn't fully guard her left side well enough but they're only human and she's working on it with Dad and Brenda a lot.  She has an email address if you wanted it."

"My wife used to make her cookies."

Dean wrote down the email address on one of Xander's cards.  "Put her name in the header.  That's the official email account for all the slayers."  He handed it over.  "Or you can write.  On the front is the address on base for letters."  That got tucked into his pocket with a smile.  "Gibbs is one of her year mate's watchers."

"That's good to know.  She planning on college?"

"She's not sure yet.  She was a bit behind so she's a sophomore," Xander told him.  "A lot of the girls were slightly behind due to the old Council's training."

"We saw," he assured him.

"We had one that could barely read," Xander said quietly.

"Damn glad they're gone.  Dad would've made them beg for mercy," Dean said.

Xander nodded.  "Me too.  He could've stood in line since he got there late."  Abby petted his head.  "Thanks, Abby."  He grinned at the cop.  "We don't keep the girls from writing, calling, or anything.  Really."

"That's good.  Thanks, Harris.  He was breaking in?"

"We stopped him walking in," Dean told him.  "He wet himself n fear."

"Even better," the other cop said.  He hauled him up once he was cuffed.  "Thanks for solving it non-violently."

"I'm only violent when I have to be," Xander said with a pout.  "I'm not the mean one on base.  That's Sam."

Dean shook his head with a small moan.  "Sammy's not mean, Xander.  He's picking on you."

Abby petted Xander again.  "Thank you, Officers."

They nodded, walking the guy off.

Xander put his gun up and headed back to bed, flopping down so he could sleep.  Dean came in to stare at him.  "What?"

"Sammy's picking on you too much?"

"No but between us he's the meaner one."

"Uh-huh."  Dean sat down on the bed.  "Sammy's straight but I'm not sure if he ever tried it."

Xander looked back at him.  "We're only buddies, Dean."

"If you say so."

"The girls are trying to get me to date you, not him."

"The girls are going to auction you off to the highest DCIS or ISC bidder, Xander.  That's the only sort they trust to be with you and not hurt them."

"I don't think I'd let them be hurt."

"They know that but they don't want to change stuff too much."  He patted him on the back.  "Though, Dawn did remind Sam we never spend our paychecks on more than car parts and gas."  He stood up and went back to his own room.

"If you're hitting on me, I demand a nice dinner away from the girls," Xander called after him.  Abby cackled in her room but Xander curled up and went back to sleep.  It was still too quiet but he was tired.

Dean shook his head until he fell asleep.  He didn't want to see the images of him and Xander together.  He really didn't.  They were friends and that was all.  Really.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Holiday Visitations.

Rodney looked at his email.  "Abby has a surprise for me."

John gave him an odd look.  "Not to be nosy or anything, McKay, but you guys were careful, right?  It's not the 'surprise it's an EPT test' surprise?"

He glared at his friend.  "Both of us are more than intelligent enough to figure out the intricacies of birth control, Colonel.  Really, even men at your intelligence level can figure it out or else we'd have repopulated part of the Pegasus galaxy by now."  He turned back around to look at the monitor.  "Beyond that, Abby would not announce such a delicate topic that way."

"Uh-huh."  He shook his head.  "Then it's got to be a happy surprise, right?"

"I do hope so.  Bad surprises seem to come from her work with the slayers.  It's definitely not a job I'd aspire to.  A lot of heartache waiting to happen and a lot of nosy young things trying to get into your business."

"That's because Abby's nice and she lets the girls come to her like a big sister."

"If you say so.  Though she is very sweet."  He sighed, then shook himself free of that thought.  He did not need to have it in the lab.  "Why are you here bothering me again?"

"Mission briefing before we leave tomorrow?" he reminded him with a smirk.  He was going to get a lot of teasing out of this new girlfriend thing of McKay's.  He probably hadn't had much of one before.  McKay did rub people the wrong way all too often.

***

John got the email from Abby the night they got back and smiled.  He could remove them from rotation that day.  He changed the schedule and sent it to Sam for approval, getting back an IM with a question mark.  He forwarded the email.  That way Abby wouldn't be met by guys with guns.  They wouldn't do that to her.  McKay might build another bomb and kill them all if one of the Marines made a threatening move toward his girl.  He had even gotten to pick on Rodney all around the planet they had just hit.  Teyla was snickering behind his back about his dopy smile whenever he got lost in thought.  Ronon looked confused.  Apparently not tough guy enough for him.  Abby and Ronon meeting was going to be...interesting.  He might grunt at her and she'd have to poke him to see if  he was alive.  Or something like that.  He and Sam agreed they wouldn't tell Rodney if Abby hadn't.  He wanted to see what this surprise was.  He hoped it wasn't an EPT surprise.  Not that he didn't think they were very careful but accidents did happen.  He proved that.

***

Abby walked out of the portal, letting the girls shove the three crates behind her.  Then a smaller one.  "Thanks, ladies.  See you soon!"  She waved before the portal snapped shut then she beamed at the people staring at her oddly.  "Hi, Abby Scuito, DCIS head of R&D and the labs.  I'm up to help with the integration."

"We knew you were DCIS.  You're the only people that come up that way, ma'am," one of the female guards said.  This explained why the crew had been warned not to be too jumpy and weapon happy today.

"We need all new computers?" one of the male guards asked.

She smiled.  "It's nearly Christmas, guys.  The base held a Secret Santa for you guys since we heard you might not get to celebrate like usual."  That got some smiles.  "And one's for Rodney."  She looked around, bouncing a bit.  "Wow, really shiny up here.  I should've brought my sunbrella."

Sam Carter walked in and looked.  "Computer integration?" she guessed.

"And Secret Santa stuff plus something for Rodney to look over."

"That's wonderful."  She smiled.  "Let me get him.  Who did the Secret Santa?"

"The girls suggested it since they heard you guys couldn't have the normal holiday celebration up here.  They didn't think anyone would get offended by getting a present from Santa, no matter what your religion, so they did it that way."

"That's good," one guard said with a smile.  "I'm Muslim and I don't mind."  She gave him a hug.  "Ma'am, should I call Sheppard as well?"

"I can," she promised, going to do that.  "McKay and Sheppard, you have a visitor with a crate for you."  She hung up and went back down there.  "Which one is his?"

"The smallest one.  You can look at it later; him first because it's got to be set up."

"I'm sure he'll brag if it works well," she said happily.  Sheppard came in.  "The girls on the base started a Secret Santa."

"I love the slayers," he said, giving Abby a hug.  "Tiff would give you one too but she's in the corner for hitting on a native on her last mission."

"The girls all set her news and presents too.  They're in the last crate."  She looked then frowned.  "There should be another crate.  I'll email Dawn."

"I'll do it," he promised.  "Guys, get us something to move them?"  The portal reopened and two more crates came through then a wrapped package got put on top.  It closed behind the new stacks of stuff.  He smiled.  "Looks like we forgot more."

She went to look then handed him the basket.  "From girls who want to be recruited.  Tiff talked up all the foreign and strange hotties.  She said Buffy should try to hit on Ronon, whoever that is, because he's her type but not a bad guy.  For once."

He laughed.  "I'm sure she did.  What's the rest?"

"Stuff for a good dinner.  Maybe a small tree for those who need it.  I don't know if they included any other religion's symbols."

"We'll check and see," he decided.  People came in to heft and tote the crates.  "Not the smallest one.  That's for McKay."  His present got a long look by one of the Marines.  "The slayers who want to be recruited."

He shuddered.  "Are they going to hit on us too?"

Abby gave him a smack on the head like Gibbs had done to her so many times.  "They're good girls who don't have a lot of interaction with normal guys outside of school.  You're very exotic to them."

"You know Gibbs?"

"I'm Abby."

He smirked.  "Good to know, ma'am."  He made sure they had all of it, taking the list off the last crate so they could see where they needed to go.  They had included things to celebrate all the seasonal holidays.  That was nice of those very strange, strong girls.

Rodney McKay stomped in.  "What now?  I'm incredibly busy at the moment."

"Too busy to get a new power source?" Abby asked, giving him a look.

He stared then he smiled.  "Up for the upgrade?"  She beamed and nodded.  "New power source?"

"Dean and Xander were dabbling."

"Ah.  That duo.  Well, let's see."  She pointed at the crate.  "Good.  Colonel, get that for us?  I'm sure it's too heavy for her to lift or us to lift together."  He took the basket and her arm, walking her off.

"When did I get appointed your pack mule?" he called after them.  He did it anyway because it was bound to be a good toy if Xander and Dean had created it.  They got it set up in the lab and Abby went into high tech babble mode about what still needed to be figured out but what it did and how it did it.  McKay was nearly getting bouncy himself, though he'd probably try to strangle him if he said so.  They set it up with a cooling chamber they improvised over dinner at the lab table and tested the limits of it.  It was enough to power all the labs without stretching their resources.  They nearly danced around in glee when it held enough to keep the labs going.  Sam came in to look at the cackling in glee, bouncing with them.  Sheppard stayed out of the way and watched it, filming it subtly through Atlantis' systems for O'Neill.  Abby even had plans for him, making Rodney the happiest geek on base.  Especially when Abby started to get tired he decided she'd come cuddle him that night.  She beamed and kissed him and it was good for him.  He was a much happier boy for a change.

Sam watched them head out to his apartment, shaking her head at the cuteness.  "They're way too cute together for anything military."

John smirked.  "They are but it's nice to see him ungrumpy."

"True."  She found the strange gun in the bottom of the crate and took it to their range to look it over.  The energy tentacle made the range master come over to see what she was doing but he was in awe over it too.  "SGA-1 can destroy so much more with this," she quipped.

John came in.  "I heard my team's name taken in vain?"  She showed him what it did.  He moaned and took it to try.  "That is so cool.  Dean and Xander?"

"The tag said NID."

He looked then nodded, practicing some more with it.  "I wonder if this'll work on a wraith since it's energy."

"I don't know," Sam admitted.  "We'll have to see."  He smirked and went back to practicing.  He had to be accurate with the thing before he brought it into the field.  Abby would kill him if it got McKay hurt.  She was the scarier brain in that pair so she could come up with some *ideas*.

***

Jack smirked when he got the video from Atlantis, getting into it to watch Abby and McKay babble at each other.  It was too cute for his manly system but what they were babbling about was sounding pretty useful for them.  He called Daniel up to share it with him, getting a happy smirk and a nod back.  "We might have to figure out something."

"The portal generator if she ever gets it to move people.  They can figure out who commutes when."

"That would be a long commute."

"Only seconds in a portal."

"Uh-huh.  Still not safe," Jack told him.

"It's not bad."  He shrugged.  "We'll see."  He hung up and called Xander to watch it with him.  Xander could squee with the best of the girls and it was good they were happy together.

***

John smirked when Rodney came in the next morning.  He was still bouncy.  He was smiling.  He filled his plate with double what he usually inhaled, which was enough to make the food workers stare in horror.  He only smirked at them before sitting down.  "Good morning, Colonel."

"Morning, McKay.  Abby up yet?"

"In the lab already.  She stole some of my energy bars for the caffeine.  We're going to see if we can scale it larger or if we have to put a few around the base to handle the power issues.  What's this I hear about a Secret Santa?" he asked before taking a bite.

John nodded.  "The girls decided we needed holiday presents."

"That's very sweet of them."

"A few sent me a gift basket to come recruit too."

"Lucky you.  Porn?  Knowing some of those girls it's not out of the ordinary."

"No.  Mostly candy."  Rodney's fork paused on the way to his mouth.  "Stuff you can't steal.  It has some citric acid."

"Pity."

"Who knows what's in your present and they won't be offended if you have to switch yours out.  You didn't tell everyone down there you're allergic to citrus."

"Good point.  Is it?"  John shrugged.  "We'll have to see then."  He went back to eating.  Abby came bopping in and hugged them both, making him frown at her.  "Why did he get one?"

"Because the girls got you computer games."  He beamed at that.  "And Dawn got you some sugar free candy, in case someone steals some.  No citrus stuff.  I warned them."  He beamed brighter.  She gave him an extra hug.  "I think we'll need to install multiple ones.  Radek was staring at it so I explained it.  He doesn't think we can scale the particle separator up."

"We'll look at that after breakfast.  Want some food?"

She smirked.  "I had my favorite wakeup.  And caffeine."  She bounced off again.  "Radek and I are in the lab."

"Of course."  He finished up in a hurry then went to spend more time with her.  She admired his brilliance quite well.  It stoked his ego quite a lot and he was more than happy with her own genius, more limited than his and in different areas, but still genius level.  More than suitable for his girlfriend.  Plus she liked him, that was always a good sign for them to be in a real relationship.  Radek was bent over the cooling chamber.  "We can recycle the water," he told him.

"We might be able to hook one up to the water purifier system and see if it helps with that," he said, smirking at him.  "When are we doing the computer upgrade?"

"Christmas Eve so everyone wakes up to better email capabilities if it goes right," Abby said.  "If not, it'll give us a few hours when they're admiring the new presents."

"That's not a bad idea," he agreed.  They got back to work on how to scale it up and where to stick them if they had to use multiple versions.  Some people were always complaining they were cold so they got to sleep next to one of the units.  Eggy came in and curled up on top of it with a sigh of pleasure but they made her sleep behind it instead.  It was better for the delicate equipment.

***

Abby came out of the lab for lunch, staring at the huge man in the hallway.  "Wow, Tiff said you were huger than our Sam."

Ronon frowned at her.  "New to the project?"

"I'm Abby."  She smiled and he shook her hand.  She poked his arm.  "Dean would try to arm wrestle you or spar with you to see how good you are, but I'm not like that so I'll just say hi."  She beamed.  "Do you help in the labs too?"

"No," he said, staring at her.  She was very strange based on the humans he knew.  He'd never seen a woman wear her hair like that.  "Does the hair style you wear mean anything?"

"I'm fun and cute."  She beamed.

Rodney leaned out of the lab.  "Ronon, this is Abby.  She's head of the labs at DCIS and a forensic goddess in her own right."

"The one you go down to see every few months?"

Rodney smirked and nodded.  "She is.  She brought us a new power source.  Abby, don't worry, he won't flex those unnatural muscles at you and make you confused.  I do swear that muscle mass can infect intelligence now and then."

She pinched him on the arm.  "Be nicer."  She pouted at him.  "I'm not a girl to be stunned by python arms."  She poked him on the arm, getting a smirk back.  "Can I bring you back lunch?"

"No, I'll join you in about ten minutes.  Ronon, can you show her where the mess is?"

That attitude and the look of jealousy he got when she had poked him told him what he needed to know.  Some things were universal no matter which planet you came from.  "Of course.  I'd be happy to guard your mate for you."  He walked her off.  "It is nice that he's finally found someone to calm him down."

She snickered. "I'm bouncier than he is," she told him.

"You're female, it's allowed.  On men, it's odd.  It distracts during a battle."

"Women can fight," she warned.

"Yes, but some are meant to think instead.  They leave it to men like me to fight while they think up great things for their peoples to prosper with."

She pinched him on the forearm.  "That's such a sweet compliment.  Thank you."  He smirked back but let her into the mess.  She found Sam and went to get food, sitting next to her.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Get anything finished?"

"Nearly.  We've built a second one."

"That's good.  Where's McKay?  You let it suck him back in?"

"He'll be down in ten minutes.  I walked up talking to Ronon."

"He's very big," she said.

"Very, but nice.  He gave me a great compliment.  That women like me left men like him the battles so we could think up things to make our people prosper.  Though he does think that Rod and I are married for some reason."

"His people don't have dating rituals."

"That's kinda sad."

"In many ways," she agreed.  "But cultural relativity.  I learned that before Daniel had to beat it into some Marines.  Only took me once."

Abby laughed.  "He had to beat it into a new agent the other day because they believed in marrying from the egg and then binding when they were adult."

She nodded.  "I've seen cultures like that."  She ate a bite.  "Eat more than that, Abby.  He'll run you all over the base later on putting stuff up."  She went to get more and came back.  Rodney came in eight minutes after she had left, which was shocking because usually he was late instead of early for anything, and got a human sized plate of food.  Though Abby did add more to it on him, earning a smile and they ate quietly before going back to the lab.  She sighed, shaking her head.  "They're adorable."

Ronon sat down in Rodney's former seat.  "She's a good match to him."

"She is."

"Will they be having children?"

"Hopefully not up here," she quipped, making him smile and nod.  This base got attacked, it wasn't safe for children.  "They're still working out how to be together since she's on earth."

"As it happens sometimes.  They are well suited.  He can understand when she talks so fast and he learns manners off her."

Sam laughed.  "She is having a good effect on him."  Sheppard walked in grinning.  "Saw the lab twins?"

"Bouncing off to put another system somewhere."  He sat down once he had a plate.  "Did you get to meet Abby too, Ronon?"

"She makes a good mate for him.  She's also as smart as he is and lets him brag and boast as most men are able to do, but hides her giggles.  Like my former mate did when I slipped and boasted."

They both smiled at him. "They'll work out the earth/Atlantis issue soon," John told him.

"I'll be sorry to see him go."

"Most likely they'll figure out how to use the portal generator to get one of them back and forth more often," Sam told him.  He gaped.  "She's very brilliant in her own areas."

"Indeed.  She must be letting him think he is smarter to salve his ego."

"Could be," John agreed. "They work in different areas most of the time."

"Then they're well suited."  He finished his lunch and put the tray up, going to make sure no one else would bother McKay's mate.  Many on base didn't like him but they would be sorry if they hurt his mate.  A man in such a situation was dangerous and unpredictable.  Prone to violence that could destroy everyone.  With his brains and skills he could easily destroy the whole base if she was bothered wrong.

***

Jack O'Neill smiled when Sam reported in.  "How are things up there?"

"Abby's amazing, sir."

"Abby's up there?"  Sheppard's email had said she didn't know he had taped that scene.

"With our Secret Santa things."

"I didn't hear about that."

"The girls on the DCIS base arranged it."

"Ah.  That's why.  How are things going?"

"Abby brought up a new power source for us that Dean and Xander built.  They've decided to put them around the base in a few spots to take the non-native systems off the main power grid.  That way we spare the resources.  All our people who think they're cold are getting them next to them since it puts out heat.  One's being hooked onto the water purification system too since it splits water for energy.  It reclaims most of the two quarts it uses a day.  So far we're very happy with it and with Abby being so happy and bouncy with him, sir."

"They're together?"  She nodded.  "So this is their version of a geek conjugal visit?" he teased.

"Definitely."   She smirks back.  "McKay is eating like more of a horse than usual so it's pretty clear he's happy with the visit too.  He'll be pouting when she has to come back."

"You could try to keep her but you deal with Danny's pout."

"I'm not up to Daniel's pout or any of the girls pouting at me, sir.  That's mean and leaning toward torture."  He just smirked.  "They'll figure it out.  Though, if they have kids, we'll need some *excellent* teachers."

"I know.  We'll burn them when we get to that point."  She laughed.  "With our luck it'd be twins.  Little goth twins with his mouth and her looks."

She cackled.  "That's so bad, Jack."

"I know."  He smirked.  "You can tell him that too."

"I'll do that."  She calmed herself.  "We're doing the computers Christmas Eve so it should be up the next morning."

"Good!  That'll make a lot of people happy."

"I hope so.  Only one grumbling person so far about the holiday stuff and he's saying it should be Christmas until Abby pointed out many people celebrated holidays during that time of year, not just his version of what it should be.  He stomped off after calling her a freak and mysteriously fell down a trash shaft an hour later."

"Sheppard?"

"No, I checked the cameras.  It opened and apparently sucked him in.  Somehow."

"Is she an ATA carrier?" Jack asked patiently.

"No idea."

"Huh.  That'd be my suggestion.  Remember, it does things for Sheppard too."

"It does.  If not, maybe it's sentient enough to like her a lot.  She's a nice lady.  Very sweet.  Even made McKay apologize for a rude comment at dinner."

Jack smiled.  "They're well suited then.  Tell them I wish them happiness together."

"I can do that, sir.  Other than that, did you get our plans to cover the downtime?"

"I did.  Will you be able to handle it?"

"I hope so."

"I'll send up double."

"If you can.  I was worried about weight, sir."

"He can make two trips or we can use the portal generator, something."  She nodded at that.  "Good.  Let me get back to ignoring paperwork while you do the same."

"I sent you my last batch on time."

"I know, that's what I'm ignoring."  He hung up and went to lurk to see if anyone knew how the naquada had gotten to the demons.  They all saw him and shook their heads but that was fine he guessed.  They'd find out soon enough, probably during his review of the two departments.

***

Rodney looked at his present a few days later.  "One of them got me the new Sims game.  What's the spare CD?"

"She made you skins for you, your team, me, some of the girls.  That way you can play with us."  Abby smiled at him, blushing a bit.  "Not in *that* way but still."

He smiled.  "This way the cyber me can talk to the cyber you while we're worlds apart?" he teased.  She blushed brighter but nodded.  "Your girls are incredibly odd but sweet."

"They are.  Mary got you."

"That does explain it.  She's very odd but decent.  She'll grow up mouthy."

"She's going to be a doctor."

"She'll be the next female House," John teased.

"Could be.  He's her mentor.  Said she could have a duckling spot when she got that far."  They laughed at that.  "What did you get?"

"I got...."  He opened his one from the girls.  "Aww, they gave me movies."

"The girls knew you've been missing some."

"We have."  He looked through them.  "Kung Fu.  One comedy.  One sappy comedy."

"She said if it isn't something you like to trade it off."

"I can do that with the girly movie later.  We'll set up an exchange board."  He gave her a hug.  "Thank whichever got me?"

"Of course."  He opened the next one and gave the electronic pad an odd look.  "That's an automatic calendar so you remember what day it is at home."

"Ah."  He turned it on, smiling at the time and date as of that minute in North Dakota.  It had a nice personal message for three days from now.  He laughed when he read it.  "The girls put on a reminder that you're leaving in a few days and we can't keep you or else they'll come kidnap my whole team and you to get you back."  He let her see, watching her giggle.

Rodney shook his head. "They could probably pull it off too.  Dawn would help them."

"She so would," Abby agreed happily.  She smiled at Rodney.  "Yours is still in my suitcase."

"I got one other than the power source?"

"Of course.  That's a helpful thing, not a present."  He smiled and nodded, knowing he'd get whatever it was later.

Teyla and Ronon looked at the odd presents then at their teammates.  "What is the meaning of this holiday?" Teyla asked.

"Many cultures and religions have holidays around this time of year on earth.  Depending on the culture and/or the religion it has a few different meanings."

"For about half the people it's now a gift giving holiday with older meaning that aren't fully followed," Tiff told them.  "Unless you're really religious or your family does it that way.  What are the girls doing for it?"

"Sitting up with cocoa watching holiday movies while the guys pretend to be the non- demonic Santa."  Tiff gave her an odd look so she pulled out a letter and tossed it over.  "From Buffy."

"Ah."  She read it over, then snickered at one part.  "That explains *so* much."

"Doesn't it though?"  She grinned. "In my bag is a longer letter from most of the girls and some of the new ones."  That got an odd look.  "You guys didn't hear the newest Rosenburg issue?"  They all shook their heads.  "She made a wish to D'Hoffryn that the girls aging out get to make a choice to keep it or not.  He used the scythe."  Tiff whimpered, eyes wide.  She'd heard a demon had gotten near it but not why.  "It activated them all, we have an extra sixty-eight older slayers and the way he did it activated the potentials who're too young but Dawn and a few white lighters fixed that so it's not fully that way but it's almost certain they'll be called when they're of a good age."

"Oh, shit," she muttered, eyes still very wide.  "Did Buffy...  Hold on, she's...."

"She's why Willow made the wish.  Willow's with the White Lighter's Council."  They shared a look.  "They're very pissed.  She's presently in a decorative crystal in their entryway."

"Yeah, I can see why!" she said.  "Oh, God.  Did Buffy keep hers?"  Abby nodded.  "That's why we got the scythe, wasn't it?"

"It came from the wish universes Willow created.  Xander picked it up during the first one where Willow wished he had walked away after the battle when they snarked at him."  Tiff slumped, staring at her.  "That meant the explosion happened the way it should have.  The plane, the fire for the ones on the base.  And the invasion still happened," she said quietly.  "He picked it up after the explosion."

She flopped down, head on her knees.  "Poor Xander."

She gave her a hug.  "He's better now.  The Major and Benny Ray, plus Connor and our John helped him a lot.  Connor even made a bad joke about knowing how he felt because he was surrounded by cranky girls."  Tiff laughed.  "Did you get to hear Crissy's having a girl?"

"Crissy's pregnant?"

"Yeah.  She's due around Easter.  She's having a girl.  She's incredibly worried it'll be a slayer too but so far she's okay."

Tiff sniffled.  "I need to email more often, don't I?"

"They'd like that."

She nodded. "I'll start doing that."  Abby stroked over her hair.  "Thanks, Abby.  And for pushing them to adopt me.  It's helped me a lot."

"You're welcome.  Not everyone can live like the girls on base do.  Gwen had to go to LA to talk to the commandos she worked with because she wasn't used to the happies that go on."

"Yeah, they can be a bit cheerful," she agreed dryly.  She smiled at John then at Teyla.  "We should bring you down so the other slayers can meet you."

"There's many with your same calling?" Ronon asked.

"There used to be just one then things had to happen," John told him.  "So now there's originally seventy-four?"  Abby nodded.  "Plus the new sixty-eight that got activated a few months ago.  Most of the older ones are teenagers.  The new ones are all older?"

"Over the age of aging out.  One's in her late forties but I think she's the oldest.  Someone stepped in to relieve some of them from duty."  She pointed at Sam, getting a smirk from John.  "She did really good."

"Yes I did," Sam called.

Tiff looked over.  "Could've told me."

"Why?"  She shrugged.  "It's another skill and another set of instincts that can help me on the job.  I've been using them to up some others' training to help them be better."  They shared a look.  "By the way, John's making alternate scythes for the girls.  The original goes to Faith or Buffy. The second one goes to Brenda since she's going to be training the future girls.  She's doing that now actually.  The rest of us get a new model."

She smiled.  "I could like that."  She looked at Teyla.  "The girls would pounce and ask you for stories of fights and things."

"Yes, they did," Sam agreed.  She looked inside her present.  "I think one of the agents got me.  They got me stationery and a journal."

Abby looked at the master list in her bag, then nodded.  "Calleigh did."

"That's very sweet of her.  I'll write her a thank you note later on it."  She smiled at the movie underneath.  "Someone said we were lacking movies?"

"Yup, all sorts of entertainment."

"That's fine.  We could use it."  She put her classic romantic comedy aside.  She liked that one.  They had watched it together with some of the girls.  She smirked at Rodney's second present from someone on base.  Clearly one of the guys on the ISC teams.  It even had a little note at the bottom reminding him not to hurt Abby because they all loved weapons and they'd sic the slayers on him if he did.  He laughed at it but she gave him a hug to calm him back down.  The video game inside was most welcome by a lot of the guys on base.  They got bored on their downtime and needed things to relax with.

***

Down on earth, the guys were storing their hauls.  Each of the girls had gotten them at least a little something.  The more they liked them the bigger their little something was.  Also the more allowance was saved, the bigger the things came.  Six of the girls had gotten Dean candy, earning a happy boy and their PT the next day being canceled for playing in the snow time instead.  It'd still be training time but that was fine with them.  Four of them had gotten Dean a mass of CD's and two had gotten together to get him something that copied tapes to CD or CD's to tapes.  Which had gotten them hugs.  Two more had snuck in a CD into their packages, including one he already had on tape, so that was cool with him.  He could make a new copy.  The old one was getting a bit worn out.

Some of the girls got together to buy them a tv/dvd combo machine for their apartment.  That way they could sneak in and watch tv with them.  Sam had laughed at that and hugged them.  They had all sighed in pleasure but he didn't allow groping and they knew that.  Brenda unveiled her 'whole family' present.  It was cool and John was speechless when he opened it.  She shrugged a bit and blushed when Dean and Sam looked over.  Sam stared at the game system then hugged her.  Dean too.  That went well with Xander's present of realistic games for the system.  Hunting, military commando, and one odd Mario brother one to build hand-eye coordination.  John just smirked at that and said he'd be trying to borrow it.  Xander pointed out he had one.  He never had the energy to use it.  The girls laughed at that and someone gave him a candy bar.

The girls got each other gift certificates for clothes and other necessary things.  Plus candy because most slayers had a sweet tooth.   The agents got small things and cards for those they didn't know very well.  Daniel got a few gift certificates to the local eye care place since they had seen him squinting in the library.  He smiled and hugged them for looking out for him.  Xander gave him his own light saber.  Which made him laugh and give him a short, manly hug.  John and the boys gave him practical things for field work in case he needed it - a new pack, a new jacket, and a certificate to pick out a new pair of boots.  He said a nice thank you to them for it.

Xander stood up to unveil his present to the girls.  He got them all two gifts.  One was the matching system to what the Winchesters had gotten from Brenda.  Which made Dean quip that the girls couldn't borrow theirs.  Sam said that meant they'd have to keep the other games over there and see if they needed to get their own copies of anything.  John reminded them this meant they could compete and get better in hand-eye coordination.  They might even reward the girls who could beat Dean and Sammy.  That got a mass cheer.

Xander unveiled his other one.  He had upgraded the girls' computer to three new computers for homework, not net surfing, but he'd leave the old one there for net surfing.  They cheered and pounced him to cuddle and kiss on the cheek.  He quietly handed Sam his to upgrade his laptop so it'd work better again - it had been sluggish recently.  Dean got one for new games.  John got one for a new leather coat, making him smile at the boy.

Everyone filed out to dinner to make themselves sick.  House and Chase had both gotten a lot of stuff from home and the girls had spoiled them rotten with candy, cookies they made, and a bunch of naughty t-shirts for House to traumatize people at home with.  He was wearing his God of Smartasses shirt to lunch.  He even let the girls hug him.  They had gotten one suggestive toy each but that was from Faith, who had to try to embarrass them.  Xander's private one to Faith made her burst out cackling and nearly fall on the floor.  Everyone gave them fond looks because it was just how those two were buddies.

The highlight of dinner had to be when McGee and Sam had reprogrammed the mini robots Dean and Xander had built so they came in to randomly pet people, pinch them, or poke them on the side and made fat jokes. One got swatted by Binky but the unicorns didn't have that good a sense of humor.  She didn't like being poked.

***

Dawn emailed Tiff for news on Abby's return, getting video of them being gooingly cute together.  "Ladies, we got video of Abby and McKay together."  They came over to watch.

John nearly gagged.  "That's too cute for words."

"It is."

"We should make sure he can come down more often," Mary said.

"What he's doing is just as important as what you girls do and they need him," Dawn told her.  "We'll figure out how to make the portal generator work for people."

"I'd go tinker but we don't have the supplies for it," Xander called.

"What're we missing?" Dean asked from his seat reading the manual for his first game.

"The power source is classified and we don't have any here."

"That's probably why Daniel wanted everyone to listen to see if they can find out how demons got it," John said.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "You were in the infirmary with Crissy.  He's going to corner you later."

"Sure."  He shrugged and got back to it.  "I let her use my phone to call her boyfriend.  The slayers have found him and he did manage to escape, barely, with Connor's help, but he's fine and she's happier now.  They're trying to decide if she's staying here until the baby's born or going back to LA."

"She said earlier she's going back once this last issue is solved fully," Dawn told him.

"Good.  I like how she's got the support network out there."  He smirked at her.  "If and when you do."  She shuddered.  "Are we going to have to take special precautions?"

"No clue."

"We'll handle that issue far, far in the future when she's ready for it," John told him.

Xander grinned.  "Better to make plans early than after it's happened.  After all, we had to for her first time.  Haven't we?"

"We have," she said patiently.  "It'll be somewhere off base because you're a nosy big brother."  She gave him a dirty look.  "Now and then you're worse than Buffy about me dating."

"I only talked to the little .... sucker," he said, taking out the word he wanted to use since Mary and a few of the younger girls were in the room.

"Is he the one you called a raping cocksucker?" Mary asked without looking up from her homework.  John spluttered.  Dean choked.

Sam nodded.  "Yeah, him.  Don't say that word again, Mary."

"Yes, Sam."

"He was not!" Dawn defended.

"He's on probation for raping a guy two years ago," Xander said in a sing-song manner.

"He is?" John asked.

Xander nodded.  "He gets off probation this summer."  They shared a look and John smirked where Dawn couldn't see it.  He wasn't going to be coming back to base ever again.  "Horatio helped me do the background check on the new teacher.  She's sweet, had three postings, isn't wanted in any state, has a clean record except for one incident as a juvie that got sealed but didn't look too bad since it only got her community service, and she's divorced but her former wife has the kid."

Dawn shook her head.  "I thought Buffy was paranoid," she muttered.

"It's because we want you to be safe," John said patiently.  "Before you have to prove your self defense training on some back road some night."

"I know but still, way paranoid.  I only took him to the movies.  Clearly I wasn't his type."

Xander shrugged.  "We do it for all you girls."

"Do you do it to the older ones?" she shot back.

He stared at her.  "If they need me to."

She slumped.  "Whatever."

He grinned.  "I could pick one for you."

She shuddered.  "No thank you."

"If you're sure."

"Very."  She went back to her typing.  Buffy would be sympathetic.  She hoped.  Well, maybe Rona instead.  She changed the header and Rona was much more happy to commiserate with her about Xander being an overprotective big brother.  Xander and John shared a smug look.  John was in perfect agreement and thought Xander was doing a good job as a big brother to the girls.

"When do we get to do one on her prom date?" Sam called.

"Straight A student except for three grades in ninth.  Plays two sports, never been in trouble.  His mother's a shrew with a temper.  His father's a factory worker.  He's a nice kid.  He pretends to have manners around the adults but cuts up with his friends at the pizza place or the bowling alley.  Responsible, paid his first and only parking ticket the same day he got it without complaining about the thirty dollar fine for being ten minutes late.  Nothing too bad I could find.  Not even any girls complaining about him on any MySpace pages or anything beyond that he's taking Dawn to the prom," Xander told him.   "That's where the 'she's easy and doing him' rumors are coming from."

Dawn gaped.  "Who said that?"

"Mysty, with two y's, and Amber's little clone in the tenth grade."  He looked at her. "They both decided you *must* be doing him for him to pass over all the cheerleaders and the hotter girls to go with you.  One of the guys put up a comment he had tried to hit on you but you had completely let it pass you by and ignored his come-on attempt."  She snorted.  "He thinks you're gay and he's gay so you're covering his gayness."

"Not hardly.  Which one hit on me?"

"Pitiful boy."

"Ah, him."  She found that guy's site and the link to the other messages, going to search them out.

"If you get suspended for fighting, I will paddle you," John warned.

She looked at him.  "I'm not going to brawl, John."

"Or magicing," Xander warned.

"I'm not, guys.  Really."  She retorted to the current 'Dawn's a slut' comment about her not having spread her legs for anyone yet and by the way, did the girl's friends know she was screwing three of their boyfriends?  She smirked and posted a link to the video the girl had uploaded to YouTube.  She posted it and watched the girl splutter and complain, but she couldn't remove it.  The hits on that video went up since that girl was the queen of popularity at the high school.  She wrote back that maybe he was taking her since she had better things to do with her life than her hair, her nails, and her skin.  He knew what he wanted to do when he graduated, she knew what she wanted to.  They were both very calm and assured of the fact that they had things beyond sports, fashion, and their admittedly nice hair to think about.  Deeper thoughts got you better boyfriends and girlfriends than being easy ever would.  Then she posted it and signed off, going back to her email.

John was watching over her shoulder.  "If she attacks you tomorrow, don't get expelled."

"I won't.  She's going to be slinking into the school tomorrow."  She wrote her prom date an email about what she had done and why so he was warned.  He sent back he hadn't heard that rumor but she was right.  He'd never date anything that shallow.  She beamed and made a study date for the base, warning him Xander was an overprotective big brother but they had a great library and he could use it for his history paper.  He agreed after clearing it with his mother and they were set for Saturday.  "Guys, Paul's coming for some library time on Saturday.  He's got a  history paper."  They all nodded.  "No pouncing."

"Yes, Dawn," Mary sighed, shaking her head.

"He's a nice guy, Mary.  Leave him alone," Xander agreed.  She nodded at that.  Since he said so.  "Hey, Dean, are you trying the commando game or the hunting game first?"

"Hunting."

"Did she remember to get you the gun attachment?"

"Yup.  It's in the box."  He went to set it up and get into it.  He'd beat this sucker and the girls would not beat his score.  Ever.

John shook his head.  "I knew he had some bored days."  Brenda grinned.  "It's good  for training."  He gave her a hug.  "Ladies, it's nearly early bedtime."  The younger ones groaned but went to get ready and hit their beds.  Dawn got finished with her email and let Brenda have it before heading to her own room to read for a while.  He looked at Xander.  "Brenda's date?" he asked quietly.  Xander winked and handed him a disc he could run later.  It made him happy the guy was looking out for his girl too.

***

Xander walked into the principal's office the next morning.  "The girl attack her for proving she was the slut, not Dawn?" he asked.

The principal sighed but nodded.  "Indeed.  What happened?"

"She was spreading rumors that the reason Dawn got the date to the prom was that she's easy.  Dawn's never been that far but yeah."  He sat down, looking at the girls.  The other girl clearly had a worse set of injuries.  "Who started it?"

"She jumped me walking in," Dawn said, blowing to clear the blood bubble in her nose.  "She got me with a book, got a cheap shot to my ribs once.  I put her down and let her struggle.  She caused most of her own."

The principal nodded. "She did.  I'm quite pleased with that response, Dawn."  She smiled.  "You're still in trouble."

"When I got told last night, I posted a comment on her page about how it wasn't me who was the slut, it was her.  Then I posted the link to her YouTube video showing it.  If she hadn't wanted her friends to know that she was doing their boyfriends, then she shouldn't have posted it."

"Good point," he agreed calmly.  "Fighting over a boy...."

Dawn snickered.  "I'm not.  I don't fight over anything that trivial.  Xander's right, that's the stupidest argument in history.  I shot back to correct the assumption I was a slut.  Some of us aren't going to end up on the pole dancing for singles."  Xander shot her a look.  "Please!  Not even you could tip her a five."

Xander shrugged.  "Maybe with implants," he muttered, looking at the principal again, getting a dirty look back.  "She said it and she's right.  She knows my tastes.  She's seen all my former girlfriends."

"Fine.  This does leave us with a problem."

"Is she expelled?"

"No but I do think it would be best if Dawn wasn't here today or tomorrow.  Give the situation time to calm down."

"Dawn didn't start the fight, or fight her back.  She simply put her down and held her down until someone with authority could get her to stop her.  Dawn's also the one who got attacked in this situation.  That makes her the victim.  Just better trained than most of the girls that one goes after."

"True."  He sighed, looking at them.  "I still think she should take at least today off to have her ribs checked and her nose looked at.  I think it's broken."  She nodded at that. "Without me putting a black mark in her permanent record since she was the one attacked."  A shrieking woman was let in.  "Calm down," he ordered.  "She's fine."

"She's horribly injured!  How dare you!" she said, trying to hit Dawn.  Xander hopped up to hold her against the wall.  "Let go of me!"

"You try to hit Dawn again, I'm going to get you back," he warned, staring into her eyes.  "Your daughter started it by attacking Dawn.  Dawn got her down and restrained until an adult could take her and got injured in the process.  Your daughter caused her own injuries and her own issues by starting this issue."

"All your girls are sluts," she sneered. "I saw you buying RID."

"That was for the girls in Cleveland and there are demons who have thick hair they don't always wash.  As for sluts, your daughter posted a video on YouTube showing her sleeping with four of her best friends' boyfriends at once.  Dawn's still a virgin.  I think that pretty well shows which one's a slut."  He let her go.  "Do not touch the girls again."

"Mr. Harris," the principal said calmly.  "Please, let's be calm about this."  The mother tried to hit Dawn again and Dawn knocked her back into the wall then checked her nails with a frown.  "Really, Miss Summers."

"I'll be damned if I'm going to be hit again today.  I'm in enough pain and that's not my scene."

"Mrs. Chambers, please sit down so we can discuss your daughter's suspension for attacking another student as she walked in?"

"She attacked my daughter!"

"I shot back the truth about your daughter trying to ruin my rep for finding a date that I don't have to pressure for sex or worry about being scuzzy.  She's jealous."  The girl tried her and she put her down too then sighed.  "Sir...."

"Come over here, Dawn."  She moved to a seat next to Xander, getting a hug.  He looked at the two hysterical women.  "Perhaps I should call your husband, Mrs. Chambers."  He did that.  "This is Principal Terry.  I need Mr. Chambers at the school for a conference as soon as possible.  No, I'm afraid  his daughter started something that she was unable to finish and now needs a few ice packs," he said dryly.  "Attacked a girl coming in because the girl had shown that the rumors she was spreading was false."  He put him on speaker.  "Your wife and daughter are here, as well as Miss Summers and her guardian, Mr. Harris."

"That's fine.  What did she do, from the top?" he asked.

"She's been spreading rumors that Dawn got her prom date because she's a slut," Xander said.  "I found out and told Dawn last night.  Dawn went to your daughter's MySpace page, where she had been posting the rumors, and shot back that she wasn't a slut, your daughter was a bit free with her affection, and posted the video your daughter had put on YouTube to prove that point.  That's a public, everyone can view it, file sharing site if you didn't know.  I don't know how techie you are."

"I've seen her MySpace page," he admitted.  "This video was of her and?"

"Her and some of her best friends' boyfriends," Dawn told him.  "I posted the link there when I shot back that I'm not a slut.  I'll be damned if I'm ever going to be a slut.  Then I come in this morning and your daughter attacks me with her book as I walk in the doorway.  She managed a cheap shot to my ribs before I could restrain her on the ground and let someone in charge handle it.  She struggled and wailed on herself.  The school's video camera shows her hitting herself in the face.  Then your wife comes in to blame me, tried to hit me twice, and is now telling your daughter how they're going to get me back."

"I see.  Dotty, your side of the story?"

"She has to be giving it out for him.  Why else would he go out with her?" she sneered.

"Gee, I don't know, maybe because I'm not pressuring him for sex and we're friends?  I tutor him in history.  I help him in a few other classes too.  We're buddies and he knows I'm not going to get pushy to make him make bad choices that night like drinking, drugs, sex, any of that.  We both have a future planned out.  Why would we want to go out with someone who can't figure out if college will get her a better husband?"  The mother shrieked and tried to get Dawn again but Xander got in her way.  She managed to scratch him but he didn't even flinch.  She backed away looking very scared of him after that.  "Xander has almost no temper until you threaten one of us," Dawn told her.  "I wouldn't attack Xander again, Mrs. Chambers."

"I agree," the husband said patiently.  "Dotty has how many days of suspension?"

"The next two weeks," the principal said.  "Unfortunately she's tried a few times since we broke it up.  Dawn has only defended herself as far as we could tell."

"You probably made me with that freaky magic shit," Dotty sneered.

Dawn shook her head.  "No ethical practioner would ever do that thanks to the three fold rule, Dotty.  It's like Karma, only multiplied by three for whatever you do.  Beyond that, my magic is much too powerful to ever use it against anything but something seriously magical as well.  Or as my teacher put it, she hopes I don't get a cold and sneeze to blow up something."  Dotty shrank back down.  "Cheap tricks like that are Latisha and she's learned better since then.  I don't have the control to focus it on *one* person and wouldn't anyway.  Why do I need the bad luck?"

"Plus I'd beat you," Xander said.

"He would," she agreed happily.  "I'd be paddled so damn fast I'd be begging for mercy for generations."

The principal smiled.  "He does take a firm hand with you girls."  Dawn nodded at that.

"With so many on one base, a firm hand is needed," Mr. Chambers agreed.  "Apparently I need a firmer one at home.  We'll be discussing this tonight.  Take Dotty home, put her in her room.  Remove her tv, computer, stereo, and everything but her class books, dear.  We will be talking when I get home tonight.  Thank you for letting me know there's a problem, Principal Terry.  Please send the official notice to me at work?"

"Of course.  Thank you for your level-headed approach."

"Not a problem.  I love my wife but she is a bit emotionally high strung."  He hung up.

He looked at Dawn.  "Go home today.  You're not suspended since you only defended yourself.  Should it come to pass that you are fighting and starting it you will get the same punishment."

"He'd beat me then hand me to John."

"Good."  He looked at them.  "We'll let the guards help her gather her locker's things for the two weeks she'll be gone and her gym locker as well so it can be washed."  Xander nodded, shaking his hand before walking Dawn off.  The other one flounced out with the guard.  He winced when he heard Dotty sling another insult at some girl and this time a different girl shrieked and started on her.  He went to break it up.  The guard had them both against the wall and the mother too.  "My office.  Now."  He called the father back since he had a level head.  This time he came down to help remove her himself.  His daughter clearly needed help.

***

Dawn wandered into the infirmary, nodding at House.  "Stupid slut got me with her book as I walked in the door.  Got a cheap punch to my ribs too.  Same side as I bruised last time."  She hopped up onto a bed.  "I cleared the blood bubble after the nosebleed by gentle blowing but it's broken."

He looked then nodded.  "It is."  He straightened it out, making her hiss and tear up.  "I know."  He smoothed his thumbs over it to make sure there wouldn't be any bumps then got her some tape to put over it.   "Ribs broken, bruised?"

"Sore.  I don't think they're broken."

"We can check."  He took her to the x-ray machine and let her get into position.  The film came back fairly quickly in the digital system they had upgraded to recently.  "Not bruised."  She smiled.  "So, ice pack, heat later."  She nodded. "Ice the nose, princess, and not too much ice cream.  You don't want to be hyper today."

"Yes, House.  Thank you."  She gave him a careful hug and went to the common area.  John gave her a look when she walked past him.  "I hurt and she sucks."

"Girls can be meaner than boys.  What happened to your nose?"

"Slut got me with her science book as I walked in the door.  Got a shot to my ribs too.  I got her down and held her there but she kept beating at herself to bruise herself.  Then her mother tried.  Xander's not happy."  He nodded, giving her a hug.  She went to lay on the couch and watch Judge Judy for a while.  She could nap.  Dean got her an ice pack, earning a smile.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  She expelled?"

"Maybe now.  She attacked one of the other girls on the way to get her stuff with the guard."

"Magical oops?" he asked patiently.

"No.  I don't think I did."

"You didn't," Xander said as he walked in.  "Otherwise my amulet would've lit up."  She smiled at that.  "No, that was her mental problems coming out.  Being escorted out by the guard and slung an insult at one of the other girls she screwed around on.  That girl hit her, she hit her back, and the guard was standing right there.  Plus her mother tried to hit the girl too!"

Dean nodded.  "Clearly mental issues.  Let's hope it doesn't turn into a domestic at home."

"Her daddy runs the grocery store.  He's not like that.  They might end up in the hospital, but he won't beat them."

"Good."  He looked at her.  "Need anything else?"

"Nose hurts," she pouted, putting the ice pack on it.

Xander gave her a hug, then left to make a report on his computer in case anyone asked.  Plus warn Buffy that Dawn had gotten into a girl fight but it was solved and she didn't have to threaten anyone.  Horatio gave him an odd look when he walked in.  "One of the girls spreading slutty rumors about Dawn attacked her after Dawn shot back last night and found her video of her screwing around with her best friends' boyfriends on YouTube."

"If you're going to be a slut, why not show the world," Speed said dryly. "Not the wisest of moves if she wanted to hide it."

"Six of her friends' boyfriends in three videos," Xander said.  "Plus her mother attacked Dawn when she got there too."

"Ah, the legacy of the insane," Stella said from under her desk.  She came up with her earring backing.  "Dawn okay?"

"Broken nose, sore ribs.  Pouting."

She nodded.  "That can happen.  The other girl?"

"Dawn got her down and she beat herself.  Then they were being walked out by the guard and she attacked another girl."

"Someone got something funny from the slutty behavior and it's rotting her brain," Ryan said.  Speed nodded at that, then shook his head quickly.

"Those usually take longer to work," Eric said absently while he read.

"How would you know?" Speed asked.  "Catch one?"

"Hell no," he snorted, looking at him oddly.  "I'm more careful than that."

"Good to know," Horatio said.  He looked at Xander.  "Dawn all right?"

"Could use a few more hugs."

"I'll give her one at lunch," Stella said.  "Every beautiful goddess-like woman has some sort of ho trying to bring her down for being so good."  She got back to work.

Xander did the report and put it into the girls' folder for the Council stuff.  In case anyone ever needed to look at it.

***

Buffy scowled at the text message she got.  "Who in the hell attacked Dawn?" she demanded once she got Xander.  He explained it to her.  "This girl got what?"  She nodded at that.  It was fair and Dawn being sent home without a reprimand was an okay enough idea to her.  "She good?  Broken nose?  Eww.  Those do suck.  Yeah, I'll call and give her a hug later, Xander.  Thank you for letting me know it was handled."  She hung up and turned to hit a wall, making Connor move very quickly since he had been in the way.  "A slut princess tried to get Dawn in trouble by beating her with a book.  It's probably the only use she had for the book too."

Amber gave her a look.  "Who?"

"Dotty?"

"The one who thinks Dawn's a slut because she got a good prom date with a guy who's not interested in her because she's a slut."

"Xander said Dawnie shot back at the girl on her MySpace page by posting a video about her and her best friends' boyfriends.  Plural."

"Gee, does she belong in Cleveland too?" Sarabeth joked.

"Hey!" Buffy complained.  "Only some of the girls are like that.  I've never had that much sex.  Even with Riley."

The girls all gave her a hug for never having it that good.  She did date crappy guys who had the bad tendency to be dead or end up dead.

Connor watched the strange girl rituals, looking at Gunn.  "Is that normal?" he whispered. Gunn nodded.  "Should we join in?"

"No, that's girl things, Connor.  Hey, Morgan, are you and Connor still going out tomorrow?"

"Oops, yup."  She came over to pounce Connor.  He understood that and enjoyed it.  It made him happier and quit being so confused.  He could ask Charlie or Don later about the strange girl things.

Buffy sighed.  "I need that.  I miss pouncing and being pounced.  Gunn, don't you know any cute guys?"

"I know a few but none are single.  Sorry, Buffy.  Ask Lorne."

"I could do that."  She went to find him and ask him.  "Lorne, I need a good boyfriend."

"You sure do, sweetcheeks, and I don't know anyone off the top of my head."  He gave her a pat.  "Morgan and Connor again?"  She pouted but nodded.  "You'll find someone.  I'm sure you will.  Maybe one of the cute agents or someone?"  She beamed at that and went to see if Don knew any cute, single agents.  Lorne didn't think she'd mind dating a harmless demon but he wasn't certain so he wouldn't set up that blind date.  And hey, Don Epps' friend and coworker who was in on vacation could use a good pounce.  He was just Buffy's type for a quick thing.  That'd make her quit pouting, him quit pouting about his injury, and Cordette quit pouting because he hadn't been able to work out with her.  It was good for everyone and the world.

***

Buffy smiled and waved at the so very cute guy she now had a crush on.  "Thanks, Ian.  Have a good week going after the next bastard."  The portal shut and Dawn gave her a hug.  "Nose okay?"

"Better.  Who's that?"

"One of Don Epps' friends.  He needed some fun.  I needed some fun."

Dawn held up a hand.  "I don't need details of slamming against the wall sex.  Thanks anyway."  She smiled.  "It all solved?"

"It is and Cordette threatened me not to hurt him.  She's so cute!"

"She is."  She nodded.  "Giles is mumbling at things."

"Sure, I'll go make him have fun too.  Maybe he can find someone nice to date."

"I think Giles is waiting on that until the base he had built his life around comes back," Dawn said quietly.  Buffy frowned.  "Think about it.  It's like you not being a slayer.  He was a watcher again and then they all died.  He was left to rebuild what he had before."

"I didn't think about that," she admitted.  She went to hug her watcher.  "How's it going, Giles?"

"We may need to add more than one room."  He smiled at her.  "Did you find someone nice?"

"I did but he's on fugitive retrieval.  We agreed we could pounce each other now and then for fun but I'm not clingy and he's very good.  Even if he did humor me that first night until I beat him arm wrestling."  She gave him another hug.  "You know, Dawn pointed out to me that this thing happening is like me not being a slayer anymore."  He stared at her.  "The thing that you built your life around going boom?"

He sighed, nodding.  "It may be but I'm making good progress and it does have to be done."

"True, but you don't need to spend every single second on it, Giles.  You could talk to us."

He nodded.  "I fear I have forgotten why we do these things.  Thank you for helping, Buffy."

"Welcome."  She kissed him on the forehead and went up to her room to have naughty thoughts about him.

He smiled at her back.  She was much better now that she had found some life again.  Plus she had come out with something wise to help him.  It had clearly been good since she was thinking deeper thoughts.

***

Ian went limp against a wall.  "She's got a good pounce on her," he told Don, who was smirking.  "She babbles and she's cute.  Not my type, but she's a strong girl."

"She's been a slayer for a long time.  She has the same sort of play hard mentality you do," he said dryly.  "I thought it was cute that Cordette tried to protect you from her."

"She's adorable and I'd let her do it again."  They went back inside to talk to the young slayer, who was pouting.  "She didn't hurt me, Cordette.  We agreed she had a job to do and I travel too much to be hers."

"Like Abby and Rodney?"

"Who?" Don asked.

"Rodney, from the Mr. Jack's project."

"Oh, McKay.  Yeah, I heard about him and Abby.  Dawn said they're gaggingly cute together, but you're right, it's the same thing.   He's...wherever and she's down here."

"Do you like her?" she asked him.

"I can see us doing what we did but not dating.  We don't like the same sort of movies.  She likes guns more than I do in movies."

She nodded. "I guess I can see that.  Not that I understand the movie thing.  I will some year," she sighed.

"When you're at least fifteen," Don assured her.  She pouted.  "Tough.  Dad's trying to make it twenty."

"Fine."  She grinned at Ian.  "Are you too tired to work on my crossbow with me?  Don has sucky aim sometimes."

"No, I'm not too tired for that."  She led him out to where she had targets set up and her little stash of weapons.  They settled in to work on her accuracy.  She'd need it some day.  From what he heard she wouldn't be alone but she'd need it.  He might need one to get Buffy out of his pants the next time so he'd better practice too.  Xander would get him if he shot her with a gun but a crossbow might be permitted and not get him beaten by the Slayers' Protector.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Downtime and Duties.

Daniel looked around the room he was in.  He hated to be in this room.  He really hated to be here.  He knew why Xander hid from these people all the time.  Even Jack was hiding from this duty.  He really needed to hire them a press person to deal with the press.  Before he said something he shouldn't on film.

"Are you ready, Director Jackson?" a young woman with a clipboard asked.

"I should have hired a press person."

She smiled.  "It's not that bad.  It's not live like when the dragons appeared and your third- in-command had to make multiple statements."

"He and Tony are hiding or else they'd be here instead of me.  I always come off as a geek."

"Well, you do have multiple degrees, sir, so I guess that's reasonable."  He nodded, straightening out his tie before following her.  He sprayed breath spray before he walked onto the stage, mentally hoping it'd render him mute but no such luck this time.  "Sit on the right, Doctor Jackson."  He nodded, smoothing himself out before sitting down.  She clipped on his microphone.  He was doing a deep breathing exercise.  "You gave talks before I'm sure, sir.  It's like the question and answer period after one of those, only there's no audience."

"No one liked my theories that much."

She smiled.  "I'm sure you're a dynamic speaker once you get engaged.  Relax, she's not mean today."  She straightened out his tie again then got out of the reporter's way.  "All yours, ma'am."  She fled back to the wings.  She had his cellphone in case something major happened.

Daniel was silently swearing at Tony and Xander for taking the slayers shopping instead of doing this for him.  That might be a punishment but not enough of one in his book.  He mentally calmed himself, seeing the amused look.  "I'm always afraid I'll come off looking too geekish or stupid when I stutter."

"Stuttering is fine.  We can cut out some limited stuttering, Director."

He smiled.  "That's good to know but I'm still hiring a press person."

She smiled back.  "That could help in most things."  She checked herself, getting a nod.  Then she twitched his tie back some.  "There, better."  She sat up again.  "All right, in three.  Two.  One.  I'm here with Director Jackson of DCIS.  Or do you prefer Doctor?"

"Either's fine, thank you," he offered.  "My people usually just call me Daniel."

"Thank you, Doctor."  He kept smiling.  "There's going to be some moving within the federal government from what I heard?"

"Yes.  Late last year Congress and the president shifted some of the agencies that have similar but not overlapping duties under our banner."

"Why under your banner?"

"We have the bigger duties and can easiest integrate some of the other agencies."

"I see.  The fact that a few of those have had accusations of lab mispractices doesn't count into that?"

"It does count toward why they were joined under us instead of us under them, but it's also why my first act of this merger is to have an investigative team go in to look over their research to find ethical, scientific, and other faults in their methods.  A few of my people with some from another group that's coming in under our covert head are going; they'll have the authority to do whatever they need to straighten any messes out so we don't have complications."  He pushed his glasses back up his nose.  "They're starting tomorrow actually.  The group from DCIS are already going over the lists they made with the others of what constitutes an immediate problem and what constitutes something that can be handled without possible arrest or immediate firing."  He started to adjust his glasses again but kept himself from doing it.

"This covert branch?"

"Some of the research areas coming in are highly classified.  That's why we created a sub branch, basically, for the covert areas.  My only assistant director will be over it to make sure nothing too wrong is going on."

"You know who this person is?"

"He's a newly retired general I've worked with in the past.  I trust, like, and respect the man for what he's done.  I know if there's a problem in any of the labs like has been accused in the past he will be stopping it as soon as he hears."

"So, some nepotism for your friends?" she suggested.

"No, he retired from his old job as of the first of the year back in October, before we heard about the merger.  I knew he could handle not only the odd things DCIS handles, but won't ...freak out to put it mildly if something comes out of the labs that shouldn't be let loose on humanity again.  Like the foam we made last week by accident that ate bricks, clothes, and some hair on one researcher's head."

She smothered a smile.  "Playing around?"

"One of the slayers' science projects.  Abby, our head of the lab, was working with her because that particular girl wants to join a lab some day so she's been temping in.  It was funny afterward but a bit of a problem until we could corral it and dissipate it."  He smiled slightly.  "The slayer did pout a lot about it but knows now how to contain her experiment. Jack helped us hose down the mess since he was on the base with us when it broke free.  Didn't bat an eye, just grabbed a hose and ordered how the containment field should go."

"I see."  She smiled.  "You do seem to have a fairly lax governing style.  It's said you're the most laid back of all the federal directors."

"With what we deal with daily, me being an ogre about clothing or other things isn't going to help morale or my guys work better or easier.  We're all adults and if we have a problem we're small enough to work it out before it can impact the caseload.  I try to stay relaxed about most things.  Unless it's an emergency."

She nodded.  "Who will the labs be under?"

"Abby Scuito is our head of R&D and the labs.  If she feels overloaded, she said she'll suggest someone to take half of her job but for right now she's certain she can handle it with a lab assistant during the merger and the equipment merging we're having to do."

"Is she the one who updated the forensic databases?"

Daniel smiled.  "She is.  She's still working on that.  She finds new things every few weeks as we run into more and more species.  Including updating some of the regular forensics at the same time."  She nodded at that.  "She's picking which conference she'll be speaking at this year to announce what she's found since the last one.  She thinks it'll probably be this summer or possibly early fall."

"That's good to know.  Do you have any problem with the cities setting up their own offices?"

"As long as they use ethical guidelines it's no different than the FBI compared to local officers.  As long as they're ethical and fair in their dealings then it takes some of the stress off us.  I know a few more major cities are getting their own soon.  Atlanta's is due to be up next year sometime.  LA's is nearly up at the moment.  We're consulting with them for the most part.  Teaching them what we know and how we do things so they know where the ethical line is.  Plus how to avoid some common language barrier problems so no one else gets offered a wife by speaking to a female of certain species."

"They do?"

"A few do.  Most don't.  They got that one fixed when someone questioned her about a crime."

"Oh.  I see."  She blinked.  "That's interesting."

He smiled.  "It's an interesting, complex, sometimes frustrating job," he agreed.  "We're dealing with a lot of inter-clan or inter-species issues at the moment instead of human on demon or demon on human crimes.  Apparently they all took off for the holidays."

She nodded, smiling again.  "That's good to know.  Why is the DCIS main office so far out?"

"The president that set us up picked a base that had been closed to refurbish and reuse.  We do love the base, even if a few of the guys complain about the snow.  It has everything we need and it cost a lot less to set up by refinishing that one.  The biggest expense so far has to be rehab some of the older buildings for living quarters."

"So we've heard.  Does your base have regular houses?"

"Not at the moment but the local town is only two miles away and it has a great real estate market if anyone wants to live there.  The Slayers Council rents a large rooming house in town for the older slayers that recently got activated."

"How did that happen?"

He paused then looked at her.  "Someone made a wish to a wish demon," he said honestly.  "That the girls who were aging out be allowed to choose to keep their gifts.  Before they aged out at twenty-three.  The downside of granting it was the activation of so many aged- out slayers."

She nodded.  "That has to be tough on them."

"It can be.  A lot of them needed training when they came in.  Some had no self-defense training when they decided to take on the duty.  They're learning with the slayer's teaching crew.  The girls who had been called before are all helping them with their training.  Soon we'll have more of them on the patrol ready list so they can handle things or even take over spots in the slayer houses we're setting up overseas to handle problems wherever they happen."  He shifted to cross his feet.  "Or if they want to they can go to Cleveland first for practical field experience."

"That sounds like you have a plan."

"We have since we heard about it.  We work pretty closely with the Slayers Council since they're keeping the younger and untrained ones near or on the base with us for their protection."

"That sounds like it helps them."

"It also raises a great number of students for the local school," he agreed.

She smiled, nodding a bit.  "I'm sure the base is very good for the local town."

"Half the time they're highly amused by us," he said dryly.  "Last week two slayers were walking down the street eating ice cream talking about various slime and laundry issues.  The officers who heard them told us they only shook their heads and walked off to laugh in private."

"Are you teaching the slayers anything?"

"In the beginning I was doing english as a second language classes because some of the girls had only their native languages, but I speak a number of them."  She nodded.  "Now, I'm working on the library translation project.  We're translating the old books into English from their original language so we can put them into a digital format."

"You don't consider this a possible conflict of interest in the future?"

"No, I don't.  I think we've found a lot of information that wasn't accessible to anyone but a few researchers before.  The old council had a lot of books in various languages, the most being an offshoot form of Latin that they used.  Translating it makes it more accessible to other agents and those new city departments.  Putting it in digital format makes it easier to share among us and if another country wants to they can translate it from English easier than some of the formats that had been used before.  Also, moving ten thousand books on CD are a lot easier than moving them in book format."

"I guess it would be.  Ten thousand?"

"We had that many before the probates of the old Council's people.  Since then, we've claimed their libraries for the Slayers Council.  Those are being turned over to them once they have their new center set up in Cleveland.  Hopefully about the same time as we have them all in digital format.  One of their former librarians is doing the project.  He had started in the Bahamas, where he had been stationed before."

"The probates?"

"The old Council got blown up before Sunnydale fell in.  A few months before.  It was done by the same problem that made Sunnydale sink in."  Her mouth opened.  He held up a hand.  "Xander and Wesley were the only watchers left as far as we could find.  The rest were in deep hiding until the probates brought them out.  They moved to claim the old Council's things to restart so they could protect the girls.  They had to go through the British courts.  Any who had no children they worked with the judge on that so any damaging artifacts couldn't get out.  There was a lot of possessed things in their wills.  Then we compiled them for when the new Council was fully set up and ready to fully take over again.  Which looks like it may be next year if Mr. Giles can get the building he wants updated how he needs."

"Xander Harris?  Your third-in-command?"

"Second-in-command at the Slayers Council as well.  Wesley had been running it while Giles was in a coma after the explosion in LA."

"Are there still that sort of risk around the girls?"

He smiled.  "No.  Not any longer.  All that was stopped first.  Back before DCIS went fully operational.  Before then we were an office in the Department of Homeland Security that gave out information to the hunters who were dealing with things."  He adjusted his glasses again.  "We ended up helping the slayers because we evacuated the younger, the girls who couldn't fight, and the injured from Sunnydale before the battle to keep them out of harm's way.  The explosion in LA happened the same day Sunnydale's battle was fought.  By ten days later that situation was handled and stopped."

"That's good."  She considered her victim.  "There's rumors of inappropriate relations with the slayers."

"No, there's been crushes by the slayers.  Most of the girls were raised fairly isolated and some hadn't even been allowed to go to school around boys.  A few of the teenagers did crush.  One did try something but was shot down by the agent himself and he moved to make sure she knew that she couldn't do that.  Xander held it down a lot but now and then the girls acted like girls, which we were happy to see.  They panty raided a few times and things like that.  Mostly it was just crushes."

"I guess all girls go through that phase."

Daniel grinned.  "Some of the girls say that Tony and Xander hired for eye candy instead of competence.  They hired for competence but the girls are still girls," he agreed.  She smiled at that, nodding a bit. "We're down to only having a few younger teens on the base.  They've been there for a while and they know the sort of problems the first girls had aren't going to happen again.  Then again they had less time in that sort of isolated training environment so it shouldn't happen anyway."

"What about rumors that there's boys who'd like to date the slayers but can't?  Something about overprotective guardians?"

"Most of the Council is fiercely protective of the girls not going near the wrong sort of people.  They don't keep them from dating, but they do check out the boys to make sure they're not druggies and things.  They see it as being good big brothers and fathers to them.  Which I can agree with.  It doesn't cut into the girls' social lives that often except for things like parties with drugs or alcohol.  As a matter of fact, the girls have been asking to throw one on base so we're figuring out where.  There's also been a lot of build-up to the prom coming up this year.  The girls are going all out for it."

"They sound like they're nearly normal girls."

"They are, they simply have an extra difficult job after hours sometimes.  Depending on what happens and whether they're on base or assigned to Cleveland or LA."

"Not New York?"

"New York has their local office set up.  They have one girl who's mostly trained who wanted to go up there to be with members of her family.  They're saving the spot for her when she's done.  They think around late summer for her to be assigned.  At the same time a lot of the foreign houses are going to be staffed by the girls and the older slayers as well.  The ones who've been in the field full time get first pick.  They've settled most of the assignments as far as I've heard. The first one opens in late February but I heard the rest will be staffed by June."

"So that was a matter of not having enough girls trained?"

"Basically.  Plus we knew that the first few years of the problems switching from Sunnydale to Cleveland would cause some ripples that would create bigger problems.  They were honest about the threats getting a bit less as that wore out.  That's why the invasion happened the next year instead of this year."

"Oh, I see.  So less harsh apocalypses coming?"

"Probably.  I'm told there'll be one every spring but they won't be as critical.  City eating instead of whole world eating we hope.  Which the girls and the agents will still handle."

"Good.  I was in LA during the invasion and it was horrifying to watch."

He nodded.  "I was with my guys helping them stop it with the girls.  It was for us too."

She looked at him.  "Some of the faces that showed up to help aren't in the current roster of agents."

"We were joined by a few military officers who were at the base for some help at the time. They volunteered."

"Oh. Interesting.  Are they still around?"

"We see them every once in a while to update and synchronize the records and pass on new information from some scientific investigations."

"Would that be the same project you were listed as being part of but it's too classified to even let out a name?"

He smiled.  "You know very well I can't talk about that.  Sorry but I do not want to end up in my own jail."

"I can agree with that.  Are they with it?"

"I can't comment on that either.  Sorry."

"No, that's all right.  I understand about that.  Do we know if one will happen this spring?"

"We have had hints of one in Egypt.  We've liaisoned with the proper people over there.  It appears that one's handled very well.  If another one happens here in the US, we haven't heard rumors yet.  I won't rule it out.  Apparently the group in Sunnydale had been stopping them yearly for about eight years before it fell in."  He shifted to uncross his legs. "If we do hear of one coming we'll warn wherever it'll take place as soon as we know.  Sometimes, like with the invasion, you can't warn ahead of time.  We knew that it would happen sometime but not the date.  Sometimes we hear a date, sometimes we don't."

She nodded.  "So if you say run..."

"It's a really horrible situation and I'd hide or run," he agreed, looking a bit grim. "We warn as we hear and we send agents out to handle situations before they blow up."

"Some cases you've sent both agents and slayers.  Doesn't that send a mixed message?"

"Those situations means that I think the agents are going to need to be backed up by someone or something stronger.  Those are team cases instead of individual cases and at the time, the slayers are acting DCIS agents so they have the same responsibilities.  They have to conform to the same rules but they can get into places my agents won't ever be able to go for information.  Also having them there seems to make the situation less than it had seemed to be for some reason," he finished dryly.

"Does that mean they have the powers to arrest?"

"No, they hand anyone who needs arrested to the agent.  Who arrests and sends them back to the jail for a hearing with the judge we have.  We do go on the US penal code."

"Yet there's reports that one of your agents beheaded a demon in New York after a case?"

"The demons involved asked the agent to handle it in their version of the legal code.  What he did was punishable by death.  He asked the local office what they wanted to do since it was a local crime instead of a federal level crime.  That is the proper procedure in that situation.  The local office decided to let the demons use their stricter punishment since it was a crime that had hurt a child within that clan.  They asked him to carry it out and he did.  Then he wrote reports for all the parties involved who needed one after handling a vampire menace in the local community that a slayer hadn't gotten to yet.  A lot of the demon communities have stricter rules than we do because they were afraid to be outed to the wider world.  We all respect that but if we hear we almost always use our codes instead of theirs unless it's specifically asked for and it's a harsher punishment.  The same agent turned in a few agents who had the 'hunt them all down' mentality and had to send a child off a weapons bust in the same area a year earlier.  He made sure that child was not harmed when it was found there and sent it to another clan of the same species to be taken care of with a summary that they were under arrest for arms dealing."

"Then that would have been Agent Harris?"

"It would have been.  He was the only agent I had that first year who could handle any higher weapons that might appear on a case.  His team used to joke about being the last resort before the National Guard had to step in."

She gave him a look.  "It's said that some of the demons are incredibly scared of your agents and their tempers."

"In the one I hear the most of, that's because he used to be a demon hunter.  He only took on those who were dangerous.  Vampires and those actively causing a problem.  They are scared if he has to show up; it's something bad.  That's all I sent him on because he was the most fully trained agent I had when I took over DCIS in it's infancy.  Xander was teaching the demonology lectures to the agents and the slayers at first.  Until he hired their teaching team to take some of his own job.

"As we got more agents who could handle the artillery cases, some dealer clans, and other higher level cases more of them got sent out, usually with Xander at first so they learned how to handle the worst of the worst if they're attacked, or heaven forbid if they walk into an ascension situation.  One of Xander's first field cases was an ascension in Seattle.  He had to stop the demon that went from human looking to fifty feet long in that case within the space of a few minutes.  It was going to dine on the locals.  He had to buy weapons off the black market to handle it if I remember right."  She gaped.

"Until the invasion we were considered a covert agency ourselves.  It's Xander having to handle things like that which gave him the scary reputation.  That and he'll protect the slayers with his life if he has to.  Even the ones who're scared of him will help him solve a situation when they happen.  The case in Miami that turned out to be multiple demon gangs got a lot of cooperation from the locals because it was him and a few slayers he had trained.  They knew he was going to be fair and he took complaints about other issues at the same time to find the root cause behind the instigation of the war."

"So you believe it's more respect and scared if they come into his sights?"

"I do and that's what I've heard when I asked a few.  They've even got cute names they call him," he offered with a small smile.  "Him and the slayer's training crew."

"It's said a few of your people go out looking for trouble."

"No, they seem to be magnets that trouble is drawn to.  Like Xander's first day off.  The two guys who make half the slayer's training crew with their father and Xander took Xander to the local strip club for some relaxation.  He's single, young, it's a normal guy thing to do.  They get there and after a few minutes, the dancers realize they're DCIS personnel and attack them because they're demons who look human but have been preying on truckers and others who had been passing through.  Xander, Dean, and Sam had no idea about it.  Weren't there about that matter.  Were there to relax on Xander's first night off since he had joined.  When Tony, my second-in-command, went to find them the next morning because they were late for work, he found the mess from where they had to defend themselves.  The local sheriff pulled the surveillance tapes.  One of them yelled 'they're DCIS' and leapt off the stage to attack Xander."  She snickered.  "Things like that happen around Xander and a few of the others. Personally I think it's a curse on Xander," he finished dryly.  "Xander always has some good stories to tell whenever he takes a break."

"I can see why.  To switch topics, are you hiring?"

"We are actively hiring about a team's worth of people.  Before it was by recruitment but we've gotten big enough now that Tony and Xander can't go recruiting as often.  We've got a few good applications in but they have to be able to deal with the seeming insanity we deal with daily.  It weeds out a lot of the applicants.  It also seems to weed out a lot more of the female applicants than the males.  Tony tried to recruit about ten female agents and officers when he was making the first teams and they all said they weren't going to be able to deal with it.  They all said they were too sensible."

"We had wondered if there was some gender discrimination."

"Not on purpose.  For every fifteen male applicants we get one female applicant.  I'll hire anyone who can do the job.  I've worked with some amazing female soldiers in the field and in combat situations in the past.  I have nothing against hiring women or minorities but they never seem to apply."

"Would you hire married couples?"

"I would.  Even if both are agents, we'd keep them off the same team.  That's standard procedure to keep your objectivity in the field but I see nothing wrong with it.  I haven't gotten any but we do have married and up to three bedroom apartments on base."

"You'd put it in through the website?"

"You would.  I know there was a glitch about a month back.  The site ate a local officer's request to look over a case.  He called to check for an update and we found out that way.  We check the incoming mail as it comes in.  My IT department is small but efficient."

"Good to know."  She shook his hand.  "Thank you for taking time to talk to me."

"It's not a problem.  It's better to clear up any assumptions instead of letting them become wild speculation."

"And cut," the director said.

"No offense, but you guys scare the crap out of me so I'm hiring a press person," he said quietly, cracking her up.  "Which group said Xander was that scary?"

"A vampire my daughter knows."

He nodded.  "If they're feeding or hunting he will take any and all vampires out," he agreed.  "They're almost always a threat, with very few exceptions that are eating out of a butcher's shop."

"My daughter got that one."  He looked at her.  "Accidentally.  She trapped her in the house with the sunlight and she went up."

"It happens," Daniel offered.  "Tell her I'm sorry she had to do that.  It's a hard thing.  Xander did that once."

She nodded.  "I'll do that."

"Did you hear we've been losing applications?"

"We weren't sure it wasn't by recruitment only."

"No, it hasn't been since I took over really.  Before then it was more practical to start off that way.  Tony knew most of the people he recruited."

"I heard he recruited for quality and prettiness."

"The girls think so too," he said with a grin.  "Thank you for not trying to eat me alive."  He shook her hand again and stood up, taking off the microphone to hand to her.  "Have a good day.  I've got to go abuse Xander and make him not take vacation time soon."  She smirked.  "The last one he came back with a realm who thinks he's a god of lust."  He walked off, taking his cellphone back.  "Thank you, ma'am."

"Welcome, Director."

He smiled, heading outside to his rental car.  He hated LA.  He would definitely have to hire a press consultant.

***

Abby pounced him as soon as he walked into the building.  "You mentioned me.  You didn't have to mention me.  Thank you!"  She gave him a squeeze.

"I did so," he said with a grin.  "You do a lot of the work around here."  She beamed and bounced off again.  "Is Jack in yet?"

"He's nagging Xander about letting the girls paint his place."

"I was going to let them paint it pink," he said dryly, heading up to the work floor.  "What color did they paint it?"

"Ecru," Xander said, holding up a message.  "From the girls in LA who think you need to hire more eye candy, boss."

Daniel took it to read then smiled and tucked into his pocket.  "Don't feel bad, Jack.  I was going to let them paint it pink."

"Don't you dare," Jack warned with an evil smirk.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing the lab evaluation?"

"We had to put it off by three days because Area 51 set part of itself on fire and is under quarantine when some of the samples went up."

"Charming," Daniel said.  "Tony, find someone to answer questions for me, you, and Xander please?"

"Sure, boss."  He held out a small stack of papers.  "In order of competence and ability to answer tough questions without giving out any information.  Gibbs likes the second one."

"I like the second one; she looks harmless but she can kill your ass before you realize it," Xander quipped.

"Why isn't she on top?"

"She hates us and she's half demon," Tony said.

"Ah.  Well, we'll talk to the top five."  Tony grinned.  "Anything come in while I was gone?"

"Not yet," Tony said.  "They took off for the holidays."

"Did I look too geeky?"

"Nah," Tony said.  "Less than Xander did about the dragons."

"Not like I've had to publically speak before," Xander defended.  "I didn't even have to give reports in class."  He looked at Jack.  "You do know that the rumors going around think you're a *special* friend he gave nepotism to?"

"Figures," he said dryly.  "Not true but figures.  Should've heard it when we were on the same team."

"There's a lot of people on the old base who thought we were together," Daniel agreed.  "They used to call us fighting lovers' spats and all that.  Even the General got in on that."

"Eww, Danny."

Danny grinned.  "What?  They did.  Hammond joked about it a few times."

Jack shuddered.  "That's not going to happen."

"If you want.  How do you like your place?"

"It's good.  I need to buy a couch but it's good."

"Doesn't it have one?"

"It's uncomfortable so I donated it to a new apartment."

Xander pointed.  "Six miles that way, turn right, go two hours, and it's a major city with furniture places that will deliver.  I had to order my hide-away in my office."

"Just don't do what he did and attract seven evil women with bad plans for the city," Don Flack quipped.

"Two with bombs," Speed added with a grin.

Xander looked at him. "Jealous it didn't rub off on you when you were in my head?" he taunted back.

"Hell no.  I'd never get anything done if I had girls clinging to me like you and Eric do.  I have no idea how you get anything done since Eric doesn't."

"Hey!" Eric defended.  "I do plenty of research cases."

"Next field case is your team's," Tony quipped.  "Thanks, Eric."

"Fine."  He shook his head, going back to his present case.  "So how was possessing Xander when you were in his head?"

"It's crowded in there," Speed admitted.  "Plus he has this internal monologue of strange thoughts we never have to hear."  Everyone but Xander looked at him. "I'm still wondering about the if salmons are pink why aren't they salmon pink thought you had that one day."

"They're not the same color as salmon pink," he defended.  "That means someone somewhere screwed up.  My favorite is still wondering why street signs are all geometric shapes instead of funner, more noticeable shapes."

"Having stop signs in a flower pattern?" Jack suggested.

"Wouldn't that be more noticeable?  Changing it would get more notice since so many people can apparently ignore geometric shapes.  It worked in that one town where they had fish shaped street signs."

Jack walked off shaking his head.  "I don't wanna know."  He got into Daniel's advil stash.  "Do I get an office too, Danny?"

"Only if you want one."

"Not really."

"Then work out of the apartment, Jack.  Or out in the barn or something."

"I can see the unicorns helping me with paperwork," he said dryly.  "They have a built in hole punch."

Xander looked up the hall at him.  "Binky would sign it with hoof prints but they won't punch holes in paper with their horns."  He went back to work.

"Did we try that?" Don Flack asked him.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah."  He grinned.  "I don't think they wanted to hurt me with it.  It's for self defense, not for playing around with."

"Good to know," Jack decided.  He shook the thought off before it could root.

"He's only bad for some people's mental health," Danny Messer quipped.  "That's how you know you're too straight for here."

"I thought the last posting would've cured that," Jack said as he walked off shaking his head.

House met him at the elevator as he was coming off.  "Abby or Xander?"

"Xander."

"Figures.  He does it to me too sometimes."  He limped that way.  "Messer, what part of exam did you consciously block out so you wouldn't have to pollute my magnificence with your meager nature?"

Danny looked at him.  "I'm working, Doc.  Catch me later this week."

"Fat chance.  Do it now or be carried."  Danny snorted.  "Flack, now."

"Doc, he'll paste me or give me food poisoning."

Xander looked at Danny.  "He'll ask Jack."

"Still won't work," Danny said dryly.

"Xander, get him and drag him down there or else I'm letting the girls watch me do your next exam."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "If they want to watch your tape of poking me with things, go for it."

House glared at him.  "Not like I liked it."

Xander snorted.  "Yeah, is that why you had to do it three times?"

"Chase liked it."

"Chase is cute.  Does he squeal well?" Xander quipped with a grin.  Speed choked.  "What?"

Tony shook his head.  "I don't want to know," he decided.  "Messer, do it or have to go shopping with the slayers."  Danny cackled.  "Bra and shoe shopping," he said without looking up.  "One's got to get her first one soon."

Danny groaned, going to be poked and looked over.  House followed with a bright, happy smirk.  His latest torture victim was even willing.  He was so happy.  Chase gave him an odd look.  "He graciously decided to brighten up our basement."

Danny smirked at him.  "Gee, Doc, didn't know you thought I was that cute."

"You're not but Flack apparently thinks so."  Danny blushed.  "You're how old?"

"Thirty-two."

"So no prostate exam this time."  He put on a pair of gloves.  "Doesn't mean you can't get the rest of it."  He pointed at the exam area, letting him trudge that way.

"How did you get him down here?" Chase asked.

"Tony told him he'd have to bra and shoe shop with the girls."  He smirked evilly.  He would've chuckled too but it would be overkill.  He followed Danny to do his yearly exam.

Chase shook his head.  "He's getting too big of a kick being evil," he muttered.

***

Jack walked in three weeks later, finding the work floor empty.  "Did we have issues while I was being bored to death by geeks who wanted to hide their attempt at being bad?"

"Six team cases came in over the weekend," Daniel admitted.  "How bad is it?"

"We can buy new mercedes for the teams."  Horatio walked in with a bound report.  "You took time to bind it?"

"It only took a minute.  We have it on the floor."  He handed it to Daniel.  "Ten percent of Area 51 is still employed.  NID has about thirty percent left, but all the higher ups were arrested last month anyway."  He smiled.  "The remaining scientists do have some good research topics and they wanted to hold a conference with Abby sometime soon."

"They were thinking around March," Jack agreed.  "One suggested a nice calm place like a spa."

Daniel smirked.  "Many conferences are held in those sort of places."

"We saw many doctors going to Bermuda and such places for theirs," Horatio agreed.  "Many died on their way through Miami."

"I feel sorry for your successors," Jack said dryly.

"Most of us are here."  He smirked at the boss.  "The detectives will carry on or try to join us."

Daniel shook his head.  "If they open a bigger office, the Commissioner in Miami wanted some of you back to take it over."

Horatio shrugged. "We'd have to talk that over.  How is their local office doing?"

"Quiet.  It's been fairly quiet since the gang war problem.  Since then there's been about six cases."

"That's good," Horatio said with a small smile.  He left, going to unpack.

"He's good," Jack said.  "Calm.  When one of the bad idiots tried to rush me he and Mac got them down before I did more than look in his way."

"Mac was a Marine."

"It's good.  I don't mind working with him.  Caine's a bit cold but that's fine too.  They didn't talk down to me and didn't try to explain things too much."  He smirked.  "Now what, boss?"

"Now?  Well, now we have a few issues to deal with but that's mostly Abby's to deal with.  Did we bring a list of what they're working on?"  Jack pointed at the report.  "That works.  Get some dinner before the girls get there."

"Do they always eat like that?"

"Yes."  He smiled.  "They pay part of the food costs because of that."  He got into the report to look it over, paging Abby to join him.  She came in to sit on the arm of his chair, getting an odd look.  "I can photocopy it for you."

"Why?  I like reading over people's shoulders."  She smiled.  "Is that my people?"

"All yours."  He handed it over. "Make me a copy."

"Sure."  She gave him a hug then bounced off to go over the report.  What she saw did not amuse her but she knew someone who used to work at Area 51 and would know about the people that still had jobs.  She scanned in the report and sent it to her honey.  He was so cute!  Growly, scowly, blood sugar problems and all.  She bounced around reading the report.  This called for a building night.  She texted Dean, who came to build with her while they waited.  Since Xander was somewhere by the Mexico/Arizona border.

***

Daniel opened up the call the next morning, sipping his coffee.  "Daniel Jackson."

"Daniel, it's Xander.  Can you please tell this local sheriff that I *am* an agent and if he does not get out of my way I'm having him and his whole department arrested?"

"Of course you will," Daniel agreed.  He conferenced someone in that area in.  "Give me a second, Xander."

"Assistant Director Abe Collisar, who is this?"

"Doctor Daniel Jackson."

"What can I do for DCIS?"

"You can come arrest these locals who have decided I'm under arrest for talking to a suspect," Xander said bluntly.  "Before I lose my fucking temper."

"Um, you are?" he asked.

"Xander Harris."

"Aw, shit.  Where are you, Agent Harris?"

"Pitts.  With *that* Sheriff.  In his office.  With my team."

"I'll be there in an hour."

"Thank you.  Daniel, can we please have someone come get the gear?"

"Of course.  Need a helper team?"

"Could, yeah."

"Coming," Daniel promised.  "I can get Dawn to send someone."

"I think we can handle this," the FBI ADA said.  "Gear and all since I've heard what you guys bring on cases.  I can have my people there in an hour.  What sort of case was it?"

"We had a report of someone using the demons to smuggle more harmful demons in," Xander said.  The phone on that side was hung up on.

"I'll be there in under an hour," the FBI ADA said then hung up.

Daniel hung up and called down there.  "This is Doctor Daniel Jackson with DCIS.  I want to talk to my people or else I am going to bring down the wrath of hell on you.  Yes, we can.  We know plenty of demons who would *love* to take over your town.  And they all like Xander Harris."  He smiled at the report that Xander was in handcuffs for slugging the sheriff who had hit him first.  "That's fine.  I expect that from Xander.  Now please."  He was handed to Speed.  "Are you guys all right?"  He smiled.  "FBI ADA Colliser is coming your way within an hour.  Let him handle it.  He can handle the gear.  He said so.  Get and keep Xander calm before he calls something in to eat them.  Yes, Speed, plenty of them want him badly enough to do that.  You know that and now they know that.  Good.  Thank you."

***

Down in Arizona Speed hung up.  "Xander, Daniel said to sit down and wait on the FBI.  They'll be here within an hour."

Xander looked at him.  "He hit me first.  No matter how playground that sounds I'm not going to take a punch from anyone."  He looked at the sheriff who was still on the floor.

"Danny's worried that something will use this as a ploy to get you."

Xander grimaced.  "There's none of them here."

"Bullshit and you know it."

"Fine."  He came over to sit with his guys, picking the handcuff locks on one side.  He looked at the other side, frowning some.  "It's my weaker side," he told the officer with a grin.  He got it off and handed them back.  "There you go."

"Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem.  I'm sure his problem can be cured fairly easily.  After all, we're down here to solve problems for him and he still can't arrest a federal agent without a good reason."

"The local ADA is coming down," Speed said, patting Xander on the arm.  "Calm down."

"I am calm but I'll be damned if someone's going to hit me and I don't react."

Two cookie cutter agents walked in.  "Sir," he asked the officer.  "Where might we find the DCIS agents?"  Speed waved a hand.  "Do you have your ID's, gentlemen?"

"They confiscated them," Calleigh said.  "And I'm still not a gentleman."

"Sorry, ma'am.  Where are their ID's?"

"This way," the officer who had caught the cuffs offered, going to get them for him.  The other stared at them.

Xander shrugged.  "We got a tip that one of the local clans is smuggling more than their clan and type.  They're trying to smuggle in the sort that'll help the problem in the spring when we think there'll be a few cities doing moving up the ladder moves during the apocalypse in Egypt.  We came in very respectful, we were out talking to the clans, had our ID's on us.  Then the sheriff strolled into the club we were questioning at and had us arrested.  I used my call to call our director to get us help, and the idiot in there took a swing at me so I naturally reacted."

The agent coming out with the ID's looked at them.  "Are we missing one?"

"He's in the bathroom," Xander said.  "Still.  We don't know why but if he's hurt we're going to have another problem."

"We're not like that," one officer said firmly.

"Your boss took a swing at me," Xander pointed out.  "Why has he been in there that long?"

"Cheese," the officer said dryly.

"He can't eat cheese," Speed said.  "He's allergic to milk."  The officer groaned, going to check.  He looked at the agents.  "We know they've smuggled in three rabble-rousers."

"Who'll do what?"

"The situation in Egypt is the perfect time to some of the lower classes to throw up a good, old fashioned 'give me more power' move," Xander told him.  "The old fashioned way by creating issues.  We've heard that LA's is going to be about a riot when they try theirs. They need people to rouse the lower classes to uprise and overthrow.  This local clan has been importing some."

The agents nodded.  "Someone tipped you off?"

"One of the other local ones," Calleigh said.  "They called my desk because I was the night duty officer two days ago.  They told us all that we needed to come down here to talk to the local demon population to see if there was any truth and to locate that clan to investigate."

"You guys sound like real agents," one said dryly.

"They're CSI.  I'm the agent they send on major problems," Xander said dryly.  They groaned.  "They're both from Caine's lab down in Miami."

"He let you guys go?"

"I'm Tim Speedle, this is Calleigh Duquesne.  Horatio's due back today.  He was off checking over the integration with Area 51 and the NID labs."

The agents shuddered.  "How did someone like him get involved?" the second one asked.  Tim waved his fingers.  "I see.  He's your..."

"Former boss.  I came back after possessing Xander.  I had died."  They groaned.  "Dawn sneezed me a new body."

"She's safe," Calleigh said at their horrified looks.  "She was younger and it was an accident.  She's got a lot more control now."

"Good!"  They handed back the credentials.  "Can we help with this one?"

Xander shook his head.  "I hope we don't need you guys.  I only brought gear because we were near a present clan war that's happening just across the border.  Since I'm also Slayers Council, they might not like me investigating."

"That's reasonable."

"I even brought lesser things," Xander offered.  "Nothing from the apocalypse vault or anything like that."

"Good!" they and a few officers agreed in unison.

The lead agent coughed.  "Let us help you investigate?"

"Sure," Calleigh agreed.  "We know where they are.  We have no idea why the Sheriff decided to interfere.  Can you guys handle that with our other agent?"

"We can," the second one agreed.  "Can we also help you?"

"Sure," she agreed.  "The more the merrier.  As long as you don't flinch at the orange and purple octopuses with three legs who don't wear clothes."

"We can handle that," the second one said.  He looked at his coworker.  "Can you handle this part?"

"I can."

"Good.  Then I'll help them so there's no other problems."  They nodded and Speed led the way out to their cars.

***

Daniel answered the phone.  "Daniel Jackson."  He put it on speaker.  "Speed, where the hell are you?  They arrested that sheriff that was making the demons pay him protection from us."

"We are in Mexico, boss, and getting ready to head back," Speed said.

"Why?"

"Because they decided Calleigh was beautiful and exotic.  They took her to where the clans were having a small civil war and decided to try to marry her off to one of their people.  They decided to split her so that would stop the war.  The FBI agent that got dragged with us was not amused."

He would not thump his head on the desk.  He wouldn't.  "Neither am I," Daniel said.  "What else happened, Speed?"

"Well, we stopped the war because Xander walked onto the field with a gun on his shoulder.  They all stared at the crazy white guy, then one said something.  Xander shot at his feet.  The other side laughed so he did it to the other side.  They went back to staring at him.  Then Xander grinned and said he wanted his blonde federal agent back.  They tried to complain.  Xander shot at their feet again.  The agent complained; Xander glared and he shrank back.  He looked at the clans again and they presented him with Calleigh and decided to band together to fight against Xander, who walked her off then turned around and said something that sounded like 'ask Angel in LA about screwing with me before you do it again'.  By the time we drove off they were on the phone and Gunn called up a 'we're not amused' complaint.  They decided to quit fighting and band together to drink over their loss of Calleigh.  So they've stopped the war.  The local sheriff that was blackmailing the demons is in  jail.  There's no problems staying from him.  They're all settled in there."  He coughed.  "Then they decided that Xander was a spawn of all evil and the son of satan."

Daniel moaned.  "Are they okay?"

"They're fine.  Mostly.  One that tried to own Xander is crying.  Still.  Her mother pointed out he wasn't good for her.  He was human.  She wasn't.  She's still crying while staring at him from across the street.  The agent is now fully traumatized.  Because on the way out seventeen different demons stopped Xander to talk to him about a problem they were having outside the sheriff that he hadn't solved.  So we did.  Last night.  The fire department was not amused when the demon set himself on fire."  Daniel moaned.  "In the car."  A deeper moan.  "Inside the parking garage that was made of wood for some reason."  Daniel thumped his head on the desk.  "And that was the good part of the trip."

The fax machine started.  "Do I even want to read it?"

"No," Xander called.  "Don't touch me!  I'm not your species and your kind kill my kind for sex!"

"Never mind.  How soon before you can get home?"

"Do we have the budget to borrow the FBI's chopper and pay them back?"

"Yes.  Jack opened a lot of new positions at both the labs.  Go ahead to stop problems."

"The only problem remaining is his suitor.  Calleigh's about to verbally smack her down.  Again."

"Come home, Speed.  Now.  We'll gladly pay them back."

The agent took the phone.  "Doctor Jackson, don't worry about paying us back, just get your people out of my jurisdiction.  Please, sir?  I don't know how you're not an alcoholic.  I really don't.  They're all so very smart it's intimidating and they're insane."

"It's the hunting," Xander and Speed said off microphone.

"I don't care what it is.  Let us get you back, guys.  Really?"  He hung up and called his boss.  "Sir, DCIS needs to get home.  Can we airlift them back?"  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Yes, sir, within an hour.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up.  "Be at the local airport in an hour, guys."  They pointed at the car.  "Not missing anything?"

"She stole a shirt but I doubt I'll get it back," Xander admitted.  "And you have our gear bag."

He went to get it from his partner, who was getting him a drink.  His partner was so great!  He drove them to the airport.  He waved as they took off.  Then he burst out crying.  He was so glad he was a normal agent!  His partner took him to the bar immediately.  His partner was so great.  If he was gay he'd kiss him.

***

Daniel met the guys coming in.  "Xander, are you in trouble for punching the sheriff?"

"He hit me first and the agents said no."  He grinned his best 'good little boy' grin.  "We were doing what we were supposed to be doing and I'm not letting some beer-gutted bastard hit me."

"As long as it does not happen again," Daniel ordered.

"Yes, Daniel."

"Good.  Thank you."  He looked at the other returning teams who were all watching Xander, Calleigh, and Speed.  The new guy was hiding behind Calleigh, or trying very hard to.  "Did anyone else have a report that would make me reach for any sort of bottle - plastic, glass, or milk jug?"

"Um, yeah," Don Flack admitted, handing over their report.  "Sorry, boss.  They decided we were as scary as Xander and wanted Mac to step up to his role in the 'ship."

Daniel looked at him.  "Did yours include any clan wars, an agent being kidnaped for marriage, or having to punch a sheriff who had arrested you for being DCIS?"

"Um, no," he admitted with a grin.

"Do *not* ask," Calleigh ordered.

Stella gave her a hug.  "Are you all right?"

"They treated me like I was a holy object that would stop the war by spreading my thighs."

Danny Messer gave her a hug too.  "It'll be okay."

Xander gave him a dirty look.  "I got her back!"

"You did," Speed promised, patting him on the back.

"I'm not hysterical, quit treating me like a teenage girl who's overwhelmed."

"Fine.  Sorry."

Mac came out sipping coffee.  "What happened now?"

"You were missed on our case.  They wanted you," Danny said.

Stella looked at them.  Then at Mac.  "They wanted Danny to prove his marriage in public."  Mac blushed.  Don shrugged.  "Fortunately I told them I'm embarrassed easily and so is Don."

Don nodded.  "She did."

Daniel nodded, reading over that report.  "It's much thinner than Speed's version."

"Mine was shorter," Xander offered.

"I saw that," Daniel quipped back.  "The shorter version was even worse, Xander.  Though you seem to have left out a bit of the civil war.  Nothing about you walking onto the field with a gun."  He gave him a look.  "Someone sent a report to Jack."

"Ooops."

"That they sent the discussion you had?  I'm sure it was," Daniel said dryly.  He walked back inside.  "Dinner's in two hours, guys.  I want reports by then."  He went to get a glass of milk from the caf then went back to his office.  Someone left him an 'I'm sorry' bear.  "It's cute, Xander.  Should I name it after you?"

"Go ahead," he quipped, walking back past the door.  "I'll take next field case if you want."

"Fat.  Chance."

"Sure, boss."  Xander came back to lean in.  "Tim gave you the bear, not me."  He grinned.  "Want more milk?"

"Depends, are you going to give me a more detailed report?"

"We agreed to cut it down for the sanity of the agents."

"I'm using yours as training."

"Sure.  I'll be glad to initiate any of the new agents."  He beamed.  "I did all the others' initiations."

"No way in hell."

"Fine.  Take my fun."  He beamed.  "What's for dinner?"

"No idea."

"Anything come in for me?"

"Nope.  Not unless John or Wes has something."

"Going there now."  He headed out to the slayer's camp.  He walked into the building.  "I'm back; Arizona and parts of Mexico are sane again," he called as he walked in.

"Oh, dear lord!" Wesley yelled.  Then his office door slammed.

"Hmm."  He went to listen then blushed.  "Don't worry, I'll go bug John," he said, heading that way quickly.  "The Brundust book?"

"Yup," John said with a grimace.

Xander grinned.  He loved the succuba trapped book.  "Been there, done that."  He grinned at the girls.  "Ladies, how is training going?"

"Poorly," Olivia said.  "I hate demonology."

"Knowing what's harmful and what'll kill you first keeps you alive," he said dryly.  "The same as knowing what you don't have to attack so they don't have to attack you to defend themselves will save your life some day."

"It's worse than biology."

Xander frowned at John.  "We're going over clan structures, mating habits, and how they have young?"

"How they have young in a few cases."  John looked at him.  "Mexico?"

"They wanted Calleigh to stop their war for them.  The agent who had to come help us with the crooked sheriff was not amused."  He crossed his arms and looked at the women.  "Let's detour into real world role playing."  John groaned.  "Not my last one.  Calleigh would kill my ass."  He got the chalk for the board and wrote down some specifics.  Then he made a diagram.  "This is the park you're in," he said with a point.  "You have these species in these numbers."  He made symbols where they were.  He had to pause to think back but put one where he thought it had been before it had ambushed.  "Now what, ladies?"

Olivia looked at her notes.  "Half of those are peaceful."

"Except in two situations," John said.  "These three, if you attack them they will kill you then go back to being peaceful."

"And on any hellmouth or wherever there is a lot of negative energy, they can be driven mad," Xander said.  "Yes, this is from Sunnydale so hellmouth rules instead of normal rules do apply."  They groaned.  He looked at John.  "Told them?"

"First since most will be doing a tour through Cleveland some day."

"Good.  So, ladies, now what?  You've got a duty to take out the vamps feeding on the teenagers making out.  You have some harmless and some not so harmless ones."  Buffy leaned in.  "In for dinner?"

"Yuppers.  To spend me some Dawnie time."  She looked and came in to change one.  "It didn't do more than pounce, Xander."

"I thought it ran."

"It pounced then ran.  Spike was this one," she said, making it, then their spots.   Xander corrected his.  "Why were you back that far?"

"You elbowed me and bruised a rib."

"Oh.  Sorry?" she guessed.  He rolled his eyes.  "Are we doing 'what would you do'?"  Xander nodded.  She pointed at one.  "Don't attack that one by accident because it looks like a bad one.  It can eat you but we taste funny to it."  She handed back the chalk to John.  "And don't attack Spike, he'll make fun of your hair."

"Are we serious?" another one asked.

"Yes, Spike will and did make fun of her hair, still does," Xander assured her.

"Are you kidding?" one asked.

"No," Xander said.

"He's a vampire, right?"

"He's a special case," Xander corrected.  "The Initiative chipped him so he couldn't eat."

"Good!" she said firmly.

"But he came to us for protection and we needed the extra help," Buffy said.  "He knew a lot more about demons than Giles did.  He gave us a lot of good information.  He occasionally played against us but we were used to working with Angel, who had his soul, and Spike eventually got his soul back too."

"Way to Willow babble," Xander told her.

She punched him on the arm. "Shut up."

He smirked.  "Where is Spike?"

"I thought he was here."

"So did Gunn but we haven't seen him.  The town's not that big."

"Is he off starting a cult?" she sighed.

"You never know with Spike."  They shared a look.  "Sic Dawn on him?"

She beamed and nodded.  "That'll work."  She looked at the slayers.  "Yes, sometimes we do work with demons and vamps, only them in special occasions but now and then it does happen."

"During the invasion we had a lot of demons helping because they didn't want lose whatever cushy spot they had created for themselves to the new demons."

"So, hunting is a lot like me tracking down a perp into a housing development that may or may not be filled with bad guys," Olivia said.

Xander nodded.  "We can give you the framework to make the ethical decisions on.  We can show you where the ethical line is.  It's up to the slayer to decide if she's going to become one of the 'kill them all' ones that prevailed for centuries or one of the better ones that has and uses ethics.  The same as all you cops are taught it but some cops rough up everyone and some cops barely arrest and are there for the show.  We do have some slayers who aren't good in field maneuvers.  At all.  Should not patrol because they cannot handle it.  Before they were still sent out because that's what the old watchers did.  You girls hunted, you died, another one was called and that's all they cared about.  Now, we have the room to care and we've had the ethics for a while, even before we had the room to care.  Buffy was not a kill them all slayer and it got her a lot of respect for that."

"So, in that diagram, we'd have to pick a route that would lead us to get the vamps and not attack the less harmful ones," Olivia said.

He nodded. "But in here you can do it while you're not on the run chasing after a vamp.  The same as if you're chasing after a suspect and another bad guy jumps you, what do you do?"

"Fight them off, immobilize them or call for backup if possible, then go after the original target once I can."  The other women looked at her.  "If I'm running after a suspect, I can't stop to chat with people, ladies.  I have to get that suspect.  If another one jumps out at me, then they've got to be stopped or my backup has to be alerted so they can keep going after the primary target.  It's a classic ploy to keep the original target out of police hands."  They all groaned.  "In that one, we'd be running.... how?"  Buffy drew her path that night.  "So we'd run into the other ones and have to make a split second judgement on whether they were harmful or not and a few of those were kill on sight?"

Buffy nodded.  "A few of those you can never let go on because they're so harmful to people.  So you have to slay and get back to it with the vamps.  Only so many places they can go.  So, do you stop to slay them or get the original vamp and then come back to them?"

"Depends on the demon," John offered calmly.  "Some you can easily track down later.  They make a huge wave in the local population."

"But having to go beat up on the demon bar owner for info always messed up my nails," Buffy told him.  "It was gross.  He was always so sweaty and acted so slimy when I came in."

Xander snorted.  "I went in on my own a few times and had to prove my point with a bat on the bar."

"I wondered what happened to the old bar," she said, looking at him.

He shrugged.  "It helped, didn't it?"

"A lot.  I didn't give you enough credit back then, Xander."  She gave him a hug.

"He had better not become my brother-in-law, I'll puke," Dawn called as she walked past the doorway.

"Go find Spike," they called together.

"He's at the bar tonight."  She leaned in.  "Said he wants to find a new princess among the slayers.  I already warned him off Brenda but he was frowning and sniffing at her for some reason."  She skipped off.  "Use the east path for that one."

Buffy looked.  "I should have but the vamp wasn't being obliging."  She shrugged.  "So, ladies, spot judgement calls?"

They all groaned.

Faith strolled in and crossed out a few.  "You take out those, even though that one's usually harmless it was a later threat and a pain in my ass when it exploded all over my old leather jacket."  She looked at them.  "Then you go back to chasing the vamp.  Not like you won't see him again later on.  Plus he'll be bragging so it'll be easier to find him."

All the women stared.

"Yeah, slaying is like that," Xander said.  "That's why I'm the way I am.  John, Dean, and Sam are the way they are, and Buffy acts like an airhead.  Sometimes you have to have a persona that the vamps and demons will believe.  Even if it's only you part of the time."

"Like a superhero secret identity," Buffy agreed.  "Because if they know who we are they can attack.  Otherwise they have to guess."

Olivia put her head down, then looked up at them.  "So we can't take out an ad in the paper?"  All the experienced ones shook their heads.  "How are they supposed to tell us if there's problems?"

"You find out from news reports, and since you're an officer, your local office can tell you or the slayer that'll be moving up there by thanksgiving.  There's all sorts of information once you know what you're looking for.  Including the local ME's.  Plus once you're in an area you'll start to get contacts in the local communities as long as you're not psycho 'kill them all' slayer.  We got a lot of tips from the kitten poker circuit thanks to Clem and Spike."

"Kitten poker?" one asked hesitantly.

"It's like *the* demon game most places," Xander told her.  "Honestly."  He grinned.  "The rules are slightly different but it's not that hard to learn.  Humans and demons can play in most places.  If they can tell you're a slayer they might be wary but it happens."  He saw Brenda walk past.  "Brenda?"

She came back to lean in.  "What's up?  Hi, ladies.  This is much more fun than history of people with strange names who did stupid shit for no reason."  John scowled. "I know it's important but it's boring."

"Yay.  Explain kitten poker to them?"

She beamed.  "I love kitten poker.  It's how we got three of the stray cats on base.  We played some hands in LA to get information on the overlord coming up.  It's a social game, like clubs, but it's about like poker, only the chips are kittens."

"Are you feeling all right?  That's more babble than you usually do," John said, testing her forehead with his wrist.  She ducked with a small scowl.  "Now."  She sighed but let him check her over.  He saw Xander's magic sensing pendant light up and moved her closer.  It glowed.  "Go have Dawn see what happened."  She nodded, going to do that.  "I hate teenagers who have magic," he told Buffy.

She shrugged.  "You'd rather have the one we had with the cheerleader and her mom?"

"No," he decided.  "That was worse."

"Do we want or need to know?" Faith asked.

"We didn't tell you about the Madisons?" Xander asked.  "Amy and her mom?"

"No," she said carefully.

"Ah."  He settled in against the board to tell the women what had happened.  When he got to the lust spell, Buffy bopped him hard on the arm but he only rubbed it even though it ached a whole lot.

On the way to dinner, John stopped him.  "See Chase after dinner," he ordered quietly.  "In case it's broken."

"Just bruised very deeply, John.  Promise."  He went to eat but House caught him and made him relent there in the caf.  Sometimes it was the only way it worked on him.

***

The older slayers gathered out in the backwoods of the base with the younger ones under cover of an exercise.  Down to the youngest on base, Annabelle, was out there.  No watchers, no teachers, no Xander or Wesley.  No Buffy but Faith was there.  She was pretty cool and laid back.  The older ones got the younger ones settled in with them around a campfire on blankets, because it was still February in North Dakota after all, and they passed out cocoa and coffee packets to warm up.

Olivia started.  "Guys, some questions have been coming up."

"We all had them, only most of the older ones had a watcher who was just ours to answer 'em," Faith assured her, sipping her cocoa.

"Well, some of you did.  I had one who wouldn't answer any questions and told me it was my duty," Brenda pointed out.  A few of the other teenagers nodded.  "What sort of questions, ladies?"

"You guys don't seem to be bothered by this duty at all."

"We were mostly raised with it," Annabelle said.  "I don't even remember my natural family.  My watcher was pretty decent but he's all I knew until the Bringers came."

"Do they know how you got to them?"

"In my case, my parents ceded me over," Anna said.  "I asked the year before the purge happened.  He said they knew about slayers and had ceded me over."  She put her cup in her lap.  "In some cases, he said some of them might have been taken from their families.  We know at least one was bought from her family."  One of the foreign slayers that had been found before the purge nodded that she was one.  "Poor family?"

"A large, poor, farming family.  It gave my parents enough money for a good few years and to marry off my oldest brother.  My watcher wasn't bad and complained but that was the reality of the area I lived in."

Olivia swallowed.  "Have they checked the missing children's databank?"

"Abby was doing DNA to find real families," Faith assured her.  "She found Amber a mother recently.  How is that?"

"Crappy.  My mother wants me to take a deal to get commercials."  She shrugged.  "I told her I couldn't.  Then I'd have a huge target on me and her.  I think she finally got the point since the last letter was all about the stuff going on there."  She shifted to cross her feet on her blanket.  Her girlfriend Kim hugged her.  "Thanks, dear."  She kissed her then grinned.  "When did you get mint?"

"I was chewing gum on the hike."  She smiled.  "I'll give you some on the way back."

"Sure."  They cuddled in.  "Abby ran us through all the databases she had access to in the first year.  She found my mother when she got arrested for boyfriend abuse."

"There's ones specifically for missing kids out of Washington.  I'll ask her to make sure."

"Have her talk to Mac and them," Faith suggested. "He did the same work."

"Good point."  She cleared her throat.  "How do you guys do the duty?  Knowing that it'll be a long, hard battle?"

"Not necessarily," Faith offered.  "We got hope when we heard about the aging out stuff.  We can still opt out at that age from what Leo's said."  That got some nods.  "For Cordette, that sucks.  She was called at six.  She's training with her new family in LA.  They're the FBI liaison out there so they've got a good clue."

"Don's had a lot of people help him with her training," Dawn agreed as she walked over and sat down.  "As for wondering how they do it, how do you do it knowing that you can walk into any bust or scene and get killed?"

"I guess that's a point," Olivia said.

"Some of us never worried about that.  It makes us paranoid," another said.  She had been a homemaker before agreeing.

Dawn nodded.  "Then all you can do is train to make sure you last as long as you can.  I'm not sure if you older ones get to opt out at a later date or not.  We're still looking into that issue since they took out anyone over forty-eight."  That got an amazed look.  "I checked.  Them, a few who were handicapped didn't get asked or got it removed after the stupid wish."

"It wasn't stupid, D," Faith corrected.  "For girls like B that's their whole life.  She built everything around it.  She would've had a sucky time of it if she wanted to be normal.  It's a hard transition.  I'm still trying to figure out if I want it or not when I hit the right age this year."

She nodded, giving her a hug.  "Something was pointed out.  If you wanted to hunt, you can still hunt.  You'll still have all the training.  Just not the extra gifts."

"Which can be sucky to be without," Brenda said.  "That faster healing rocks."

"The extra speed's nice in gym or to get away from bullies too," Mary agreed, sipping her coffee.  Her watcher had given her a taste for it.  He kept trying to keep her out of his since he had decided to take her and Anna both on.  Anna could be a bit more of a free spirit/do what's necessary sort that Gibbs wasn't totally used to.

"Have we been having trouble?" Brenda demanded.  "John wanted to know about that stuff."

"Nah, it's good.  Boys taunting girls who develop boobs.  I'm not in bras yet so it's all good so far."

"So you girls try to lead as normal of a life outside the calling?" another said.

"Think of us like supernatural cops," Anna told her.  "We work night shift and graveyard, no pun intended, but we have to do basically the same thing.  Only we don't arrest, we slay.  We fight.  We run and pounce and stake.  Sometimes with agents we go question others for information."  The others stared at her.  "That's what Faith said."

Faith nodded.  "That's true.  We have just as much of a risk dying on the job as the average cop does."

"The better we are and the better trained we are, the less that chance gets," Brenda said.  "Even normal hunters die from things.  It's a risk we all take.  Olivia's got the crappier part of the calling since she's got it on both ends."

She shrugged.  "I don't mind.  I like my job and the calling will work itself in soon enough."  She looked at the other women.  "How do those in the military on active duty do it?  They're seeing it the same way."

A few more nodded at that.  "But what happens when we die?"

"We're mourned.  Wesley said we're starting a plaque system instead of the old book they used to have.  It used ta be kinda dry and boring, listings of births, deaths, and how.  A few notable cases written up," Faith offered.  "B's only in there once so far.  No matter how many times she's went."  Dawn snickered.  "They erased her when she came back.  Thomas said they swore when they had to white-out her name."

"We'll throw a yearly party for the ones we're missing along with the funerals," Mary told them.  "Like they do cops who fall in the line of duty.  So far we're doing okay.  Except for those three that took their first lessons in self defense to a demon bar."  She sipped her coffee.  Faith took it from her.  "Hey!"

"Gibbs said that'll stunt your growth, Mary."

"Tough shit!"  She took it back.  "Not like most of us are *tall* or anything.  I doubt there was ever a slayer as tall as Xander or Dean, and especially not Sammy.  Half of us look like delicate little gymnasts."

"Some of us are good at it too but it's unfair to use our skills to go for pro sports," Anna sighed.  "Or else I'd kick ass on the school's judo team."

Brenda nodded.  "You and me both, short stuff."  Anna swatted her but she smiled.  "You are."

"I'll grow some day.  You're stuck at your height.  The shortest Winchester in history."

She smiled.  "Mary was my size.  John said so."  She sipped her coffee.  She had gotten the taste for it from Sammy of all people.  "It's something you do and it's part of you but not all of you.  If you let it be all of who you are then you've already lost half the battle.  You've got to have a normal life or you lose sight of why you do this until you can't stop something horrible one day and it depresses you."

"We learn because we have to," Olivia agreed.  "Because no one can protect those around us as well as we can."  The younger ones all nodded.  "What about Cordette?"

"She's happy.  She introduced herself to Charlie and thought Charlie's hair was a pet when she was adopted," Anna said with a grin.  "Tony was sneaky about introducing them.  She did the fingerpainting in the office."

"It was cute," Faith agreed.  "Anyone see Danny being overrun sometime soon?"

"I think stress will make him snap some day but so far we've kept it down for him," Dawn admitted.  "We haven't faced anything *too* horrible by what we've been able to find about his last posting.  They had yearly attacks too, just ones that could destroy the earth.  We're nothing compared to that."   That got a few nods.  "Plus aren't the apocalypses calming down?"

"We hope so," Faith agreed.  "Without that one demon pushing them to cover his own shit up it's supposed to slow down.  We have three ascensions we have to watch out for this year and one that might be overseas.  Xander found that one and talked to the local police there about it.  They wanted to know what to do about him.  X suggested artillery."

"Xander loves his guns," Anna quipped.  The others laughed.  "Do we see Glen staying in the armory?"  Faith shook her head.  "He's a nice guy but he seems kinda uptight."

"He is," Dawn agreed.  "He's good at the job but I'm waiting for the first real apocalypse to see how high his stress level hits."  That got a few nods.  "Have we figured out primary placements in case of some move making in LA and other places?"

"Gunn said they've got LA as long as it's not a full-blown riot.  Even without the little mama out there.  I'm worried about a few midwest cities," Faith admitted.  "New York's so old that no one's going to do more than grumble.  Miami might have a few issues so I've offered to head down there with a few of the agents."

Kennedy sighed.  "I did too."

"Then we'll work," Faith agreed.  That got a nod.  "You older ones who're getting patrol cleared will be doing a turn in Cleveland before heading home so we know how you handle combat stress.  Then you can pick where you wanna go, or to go home."

"I'm still arguing with mine," Olivia admitted, glancing around.  "They want to put me in the city demon office."

"Talk to them about conflict of interest," Dawn suggested.  "How a slayer's duty is to slay bad demons, not answer domestic abuse calls."

"I have.  They're thinking."

"Remind them Shea'll be up soon too," Faith said.  "That'll help ease it some."

She nodded.  "I had forgotten about that."  She texted that to her captain then put her phone up.   "I know I'm getting a bye on Cleveland because I do the same thing all day on the job."  Faith nodded.  A few others pouted.  "I have been in bad situations and I know how to handle an all out assault going on," she pointed out.  "The same as the military ones didn't have to because we had been trained and mostly had handled it."

"Sam handles it a lot," Dawn quipped.  They smiled and nodded.

"At least Tweedy has an idea where you guys'll be living," Faith said.  "We were *so* cramped in some days."  A few of the girls who had been in Cleveland with her nodded.

"Have we noticed we've basically broken into three main teams with team leaders?" Dawn asked.  "Four if you count Sam leading them?"

"I have.  John said that too," Brenda said.

Faith shrugged.  "Really?"

"Your crew from Cleveland is all here except for Cho and Rona.  The older ones who had been in a coma are with Buffy.  The LA crew leads their own.  Sam leads these newer ones."

"That means you guys really need another team leader and the younger girls need one to look at for orders," Brenda said.

"I appoint Anna," Mary said.

"You have the watcher more often."

"Yeah but ...."

"You also never talk up," Brenda pointed out.  "Anna's everyone's happy maker.  Mary's a very good planner, Anna."

She nodded.  "I realize that.  That's why I think it should be her.  Beyond having Gibbs at her back."

"What about the potentials?" one of the older ones asked.  "We heard they'll be called automatically?"

Dawn nodded.  "Side effect of the wish.  They'll be called around fourteen."  That got a groan.  "They've found most of them and sent people out to talk to them.  Most of the parents are okay and know how and what to train the girls in doing.  Don Epps has helped a lot with that project.  So has Charlie.  They'll probably align behind Cordette because she's the one they're using as an example of how to train off base."

"Then we've got the retrieval crew," Faith said.  "They're their own unit."  The two present on base nodded.  "They can and will work with us but they're like our SWAT team."

"Happy to do it," Gwen quipped.  "If we can, can we get the nice agent I worked with in LA?  The one that Xander turned the weapons in that warehouse over to?  He doesn't seem to be bothered by much of anything.  He obviously knows weapons.  He taught Xander how to disarm the nuclear one they found when the timer got shot and sped up."  They all gaped.  She nodded.  "It did.  It went from a few hours to 'shit, under thirty minutes' with the application of a bullet to the timer."  She finished her cocoa.  "I think he'd be able to handle and update our armory.  Even if he might not always appreciate swords, axes, scythes, and crossbows."

"Don't know.  We can ask," Faith offered. "Mac does a good job taking on some of the Xander cases but they're still overloaded."

"Did you guys see the memo that Xander's cases are no longer allowed in the 'worst case' bidding each month?" Dawn said with a grin.

"Can we spank him for walking onto a battlefield with a single gun on his shoulder?" Anna asked.  Everyone stared at her.  "That's how he got Calleigh back.  One single gun on his shoulder.  They have tape.  It's on YouTube."

"He's *so* getting busted with John later," Brenda said dryly.  She finished her coffee.  She texted that to Sam, who could find it almost immediately.  If it was online Sam could find it.  The other girls laughed.  Because Xander was so screwed when John heard.

***

Dean got the email from Sam since he was playing around while the girls were giving him a day off.  He looked at the video.  He sent it to Daniel.  Then he leaned back.  "Hey, Dad, Wes, c'mere please?  Sammy found something thanks to Brenda."

"Something about the new apocalypse?"

"No, stupidity in action."

"Son," John sighed as he walked in.  "We're a bit busy...."  He trailed off when his son replayed it.  "Is that who I think it is?"

"Last Action Hero Xander, yeah."

He nodded.  "Who told who?"

"Sammy got it from Brenda.  Don't know which one of them told her."  He sent it to LA's inbox.  He got a cackle back a few minutes later from Fred.  He and his father shared a look.  "Brenda said he needed spanked."

"Yes, he does," John said calmly.

"Xander!"  Daniel's yell carried very well.

"Did you forward it?"

"Yup."  He smirked.  "Someone has to stop him before he gets shot for good."

"Good point."  He leaned down to see it better with a sigh.  Dean replayed it.  He groaned.  "He does have a point about being good with weapons."  Xander went running past.  Jack was following him.  "Looks like Daniel sicced Jack on him again."  He straightened up.  "Let me talk to Wesley."

"I'll send it to your inbox."  He did that.

"Thanks, son."  He went to get into his email from Wesley's office, glancing at the other message before turning on the tape and turning the monitor around so his boss could see it.

Wesley let out a low, belly clenching moan.  "Is he...  Yes, it appears he is.  Is that how he got Calleigh back the last time?"

"Apparently."  They watched as Jack dragged Xander past the windows, John smirking and waving.  "Nice gun action, Xander."

"Shit!" he complained.

"No swearing at me," Jack ordered.  "No wonder Danny's antacid bill is worse than the general's when we were on the same team."

"I had backup guns on me," he defended.

"I don't care, kid.  That sort of situation you bring more than yourself when you handle it."

"They had Calleigh.  All I had was Speed and an FBI agent who went to become drunk."

"Uh-huh.  I know why."  He walked him into the office.  "Your young and stupid one."

"I still think he's like a younger version of you, Jack."  Daniel glared at him.  "That was not in the report."

"Yes it was.  Speed told you I walked out there and blew a round in the ground."  Daniel replayed it.  "The camera really does make me look chunky."  Jack swatted him.  "Hey!  Not yours!"

"You're going to get yourself killed," Jack said.

"You'd rather she be used to stop the war by sleeping with both sides and bear them half- demon babies?"

"No," Daniel admitted.  "You could have gotten backup."

"We were in Mexico.  The Feeb's boss said no."  He gave him a look.  "I did check."

"You didn't call us."

"You can't operate in Mexico either.  We did tell the locals.  They said they'd pray for us."

Horatio leaned in.  "Can we see?  Calleigh said it was rather impressive."

Daniel sent it to Abby.  "Have Abby project it."

"We can do that."  He looked in the squad room.  "Abby's projecting it."  They went down to the lab to watch on the big screen tv down there.

"He *so* proves his theory that everyone looks hot with artillery," Abby sighed at the end.

Gibbs looked over at her.  "Does yours?"

"Yuppers."  She smiled.  "I even got a picture of him with his gun."

He shook his head.  Abby and Rodney were the ultimate geek couple to his mind.  "Did he at least have other weapons, Speed?"

"Three other clips, his service piece, and two others tucked inside his vest," he reported.  Everyone relaxed at that.  "They're very sorry they were going to make Calleigh bear babies to stop their war.  It worked since we couldn't get backup in Mexico."

Mac shook his head quickly.  "My commanding officers would've killed me if I had done something that stupid."

"Yes, we would have," Gibbs agreed.  Horatio snickered.  "You would too."

"No, that's H's style," Eric said dryly, glaring at him.  "You cannot turn into Xander either, H."

"I have no intention.  I don't know what I'd do without a suit all day."  His team smiled at that.  "I would have had backup hidden."

"We had me and a suit from the FBI who got very drunk that night," Speed told him.

Horatio looked at him.  "I said backup, Tim.  You still don't like guns."

"Hey, I'm just glad I didn't pull that one," Danny said.  "They might've taken me instead'a Calleigh."  Stella punched him on the arm, making him and Don both laugh.

"Don't, Stella.  He's right, they might," Mac said.  Abby reran it.  He shook his head.  "No wonder he can't be in the pot for the worst case."

"Just think, it started out normal and that wasn't really the worst part," Speed offered.  They all stared.  "Oh, no.  Have him tell it.  He's a good storyteller.  Wolfe, you're going with him next time."

"It's my turn anyway," he agreed.  "Why isn't Calleigh counted as his team's CSI?"

"Because cowboy antics like that drove off his last gun nut," Horatio said blandly.

"I'm telling her you called her that," Eric and Speed said together.

He shrugged.  "He did."

"No, it wasn't that.  He decided he was too normal and straight for us," Ryan reminded them.  "The guy *before* him was driven off after a bad case because Xander had to find artillery."

They all groaned at that.

Jack strolled in.  "I admit I might have done something like that if we were away from reinforcements but that's still cowboy."  All the former cops and agents nodded.  "Any way we can give him a voice of reason?"

Speed snorted.  "No.  I wasn't when I was possessing him."

Jack groaned.  "What about a standard team?  I know we're a bit flexible but Calleigh said she wasn't sure what he was doing when he pulled that."

"Sure, get John Sheppard down here," Abby teased with a grin.  "They can share a team."

He gave her an odd look, then shuddered.  "I'm not telling him you said that, Abby."

"I will."  She beamed and sent the file and that comment to Rodney.  She got back one from Sam.  "Sam's in Rod's email for some reason.  She said John's annoying her this week so I can have them both."  Another email beeped in.  "She watched the tape and said Xander can come join Atlantis if he wants.  He can be on John's team.  John might appreciate that.  Ronon definitely would."

Jack nodded.  "From what I heard, yup."  Mac and Horatio shook their heads.  "Seriously, guys.  Can we set him a team?  One he can teach how he thinks?  It'll only help, before they end up working against him some day."

"Xander's team doesn't always need a CSI," Speed pointed out.  "Like Mac's team doesn't always need a CSI.  Thank you for taking some of the Xander cases, Mac."

"Welcome."  He shifted in his seat.

"We are getting the worst cases," Stella realized.  Mac nodded.  "Why?"

"Because I can handle things Xander would."

"They're considering your team Xander Light.  Like Don and Danny's team do a lot of diplomatic stuff it seems like," Jack said.  Danny and Don nodded at that.  "If they need a science team they send Horatio and Speed, with Eric if they can.  He still needs a set team."

"I've got Ryan on mine," Tony said from his seat.  "We work fairly well together."

"We do," Ryan agreed. "I work pretty well with both of you.  Have Danny hire him a real team, Jack."

"We're talking about that," he admitted.  "That would leave you guys and Calleigh to form the other team."

"I wouldn't mind," Calleigh agreed as she joined them.  "However it works. I don't mind working with Xander but sometimes he turns into this scary, overprotective guy who I'm not sure if he's sane or not."

"He is, he's just really overprotective of his team and the slayers," Ryan told her.  He looked at Tony.

"You can't have the second and third-in-command on the same team," Tony pointed out.  "It's a security risk.  I can work with Xander.  I did a number of times in the early days."  They all smiled at that.  "Can we find him an agent or cop like Sheppard?"

Jack shrugged.  "We'll see."  That got a nod.  "Okay, let's get back to work, guys.  Lunch is in an hour."  They went back to their desks to consider what was going on.

Tony clapped Xander on the back.  "Jack wants to appoint you a permanent CSI."  Xander gave him an odd look but pointed at Calleigh.  "We have to hire a team, Xander. This means we can find you a standard team.  One that will understand when your mind goes odd."

He shrugged. "I'm fine.  I try really hard not to bust out in those sort of moves unless I have to, Tony."

"I know, Xander.  It was a good save but you scare the crap out of us each and every time you do that.  Plus you're having to borrow from other teams.  Danny needs to hire anyway.  This way we can get you a good team who'll understand you."

"Don Epps is in LA and he said he's staying."

"I know.  You'd drive him nuts anyway since he's kinda uptight."  He grinned.  "Think about it.  If we're all out on our teams on harder cases, you're alone.  Again."

"I looked last time and couldn't find anyone."

"True.  Look again and suggest.  We can always recruit."  Xander nodded, settling in to look up various agents.  Tony typed something into a search box.  "Someone made a list of the insane, cowboy, and agents who have to pull bad moves now and then."  He grinned.  "Look, there you are and it was done over a year ago."  He went back to his desk.

"Only one insane person on a team," Stella ordered.  "Or else they'll clash."

Xander shrugged.  "Some day I might need someone who can rescue me.  Not like they don't want me for many reasons."

"Good point."  Xander grinned at her.  "Find someone nice?  The girls would like that,"she suggested.

"Ask Spenser," Ryan suggested.  "He had a lot of fun profiling you."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "A lot of agencies do use psychological profiling to make new teams.  That way you have a good mix of skills."

Xander shook his head.  "I'm not sure Spenser got me right."

"You'd have to look at his eval to see," Tony pointed out.  He and Ryan shared a look.  Ryan got back to his case but he did send Spenser an email about that.  "Do we have *anything* on the demonic ghost?"

"Very little," Ryan admitted.  "I found a death announcement in the paper but nothing on his life."

"I thought it was a woman," Tony said, giving him a look.

Ryan looked then shrugged. "The death announcement said him.  Unless she was named exactly after her father?"  He sent it to Tony's desk, rolling over to look with him.  Tony pointed at something.  "That's the only mention I could find in that town of that name."

"Crap."  He got into another archive Sam had showed them.  He found the mention of the ghost and it said it was a female too.  "Double crap."

"Do they have a history?"

"Nothing on it."  They groaned.

"Could it have been a trannie or a crossdresser?" Xander asked.

Tony and Ryan shared a look then looked at the pictures that had been caught.  "It's possible.  She's got a very squarish build," Tony admitted.

"That would be a good reason why nothing was said about him," Ryan said.

"And a good reason for the person to be killed," Tony added.  They nodded, moving to call the local sheriff to ask.

Xander shook his head.  Sometimes some obvious questions escaped some people.  He got back to work on his own research case.  It was strange but he could've sworn he had seen this one before.  He did a search for the town's name and came up with it.  He compared the two then called.  "Hi, this is DCIS Agent Harris.  I got the research case you guys just sent us on the website.  Yes, that one."  He leaned back.  "Actually, I thought it sounded familiar so I checked our files and it looks like one of us sent you the report about a year ago to a Detective Palms?"  He waited while the guy asked.

"That is me, yes."  He checked over the report.  "I did give you two options, based on the visual image it had.  Because we didn't have pictures sent.  I could rule it down to one or the other with pictures.  Brown?"  He looked it up.  "That's an immature version of the purple one."  He checked the other one.  "Or it's a mutant or a cross-breed.  Does it come out in the light?  Then it's a youngling of the purple one, yes."  He rolled his eyes.  "Exactly.  Sure, we like follow ups if you guys have more questions.  Even if I'm not here, most of the people on the floor can get into my reports and if they don't know they can get in touch with me in the field or talk to our researchers.  Of course.  Just let us know.  I can do that, thank you.  Do you need a new copy of it?"  He smiled.  "You have a good day too, Officer."  He hung up and made a note then went to hand it to Daniel.  Then he went to check for new work.

Daniel looked then filed it with the last report.  Xander had made a note that it was an immature version of one of the possibles on the new case file.

***

Abby bounced down to the infirmary, handing over a DVD.  "Action Hero Xander saves Calleigh."

House put it into the DVD player, watching.  Chase whimpered a bit.  House could only shake his head. "I would not pay seven bucks to see that," he decided.  She pinched him on the arm.  "I wouldn't.  It's too short."

She punched him on the arm.  "He got Calleigh back."

"Who took the film?" Chase asked a bit too calmly.

"Speed was doing training tapes," she said with a smile.  "Xander tried to run from Jack when Daniel saw it."  She bounced off.

House rewatched it.  Then he looked at Chase.  "Have we had him evaluated for mental illness?"

"He claims he's unique."

"Good thing.  Twins of Xander would drive everyone nuts."

"But they'd probably be the friends who'd help you move," Chase said dryly.  House gave him a dirty look, going to talk to Xander about any possible suicidal tendencies.  It was clear something was wrong with his mind.

***

John Sheppard looked at his Marines before starting the show.  Once the tape was done he faced them again.  "If I see any of the Marines on base doing anything like this, I will personally make you an appointment with our wonderful base psychologist and I will personally make sure you go.  Though, if any of you want to retire from here and go somewhere less strange, he's one of the senior agents at DCIS."

Rodney shook his head quickly.  "Xander really is rather insane and odd."

"They have their own shrink and the profiler," John told him.  "Should any of you need to do something like this, we do know how to call for backup, right?"  They nodded at him.  "And no one's this fucking dumb?"  They all shook their heads.  "Good!  Let's run team assault scenarios."  He walked off rubbing his head.

"Hey, Sheppard, someone on the base suggested you should be on Xander's team," Sam called.

"Bite your tongue, Carter!  I'm more sane than that!"

Ronon replayed it, staring.  "That is a move a warrior can appreciate.  It's clear they respect him."

Rodney gave him an odd look.  "It's clear he's insane."

"All the best warriors are slightly insane."  He smiled.  "Look at Sheppard."

"Yes, but his is from trying to deal with trying individuals."

"Yes, you have rotted his mental capabilities a few times," Teyla told him.

Rodney glared.  "Not me.  All the loose hussies all over this galaxy."  He walked off pouting.  He decided to write Abby a long email.  She appreciated him.  Now if only they could work out being in separate galaxies....

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Helpful People.

Xander sat up panting, looking around.  No, he was on base.  It was all right because he was on base.  He knew it was all right because he was on base.  He started to lay back down but he knew he couldn't.  He looked toward Dean and Sam's room.  They were quiet so obviously not a shared dream or vision or whatever it was.  Maybe it was a warning of another sort.  He got up and went out to his balcony, looking around.  The base looked like it should.  One of the demon dogs was on fence patrol. The girls' lights were all out except for Wesley's.  He had probably fallen asleep over a book again.  He looked at the other building.  Daniel was up.  His lights were on.  Xander went inside to grab a jacket and shoes, then trudged over there.  He tapped gently, hoping his boss had fallen asleep over a book too.  Book nerds did that a lot and his boss was a huge book nerd, bigger than Wesley was.  Daniel opened the door and gave him an odd look.  "I don't think it was a vision but it might be a warning; I have no idea."

"What did you see?"

"Us, only DCIS hadn't been formed so you realized it when you were on the other base.  Then you realized you shouldn't be there so you went looking for the others, Tony first.  Some of the others realized something was wrong and drifted to the backup spot."  He swallowed.  "You guys drifted together there.  I got there with the few girls left from the hellmouth but I had to take a piece of shrapnel from one of them when she collapsed."

Daniel walked him inside, sitting him down.  "How did you remove it?"

"During the au switches I had thanks to Willow, I was possessed by two of the docs on that world where I got the painkillers.  But if DCIS hadn't been created, how did I know that?"

"I have no idea," Daniel admitted, sitting across from him.  He looked the young person across from him.  "Tell me all of it?"

"That's the basics.  You were still at the base.  You were working on something boring but Assyrian I think.  It would've been about the end of our first year here."  Daniel nodded slowly.  "You looked up from reading and looked around the really tiny office you had that didn't have any windows but it had piles of papers and books that weren't balanced in any way.  You said 'what am I doing here' and got up, nearly running over Jack on the way out.  He asked what was wrong, you yelled you had to take some vacation time and to not bother you.  That something was wrong and had changed in a bad way."

"Pre or post invasion?"

"Pre.  There were only seven girls left."  He looked at him.  "You ran out and went home, starting an internet search for DCIS.  Then you couldn't find anything, of course, so you looked up Tony.  You went to see Tony.  That woke Tony up.  A few others were sensitive enough that they knew something was wrong.  Stella, Horatio, Don Flack.  All they needed to do was see one of you."  He swallowed again.  "Don brought Danny and Stella.  Horatio brought himself and Ryan but Speed was still dead.  The main ones met there, but not the docs.  They didn't get there until after me and the ragged, worn out slayers stumbled in.  John, Dean, and Sam weren't there."

"Okay.  Where did you come from?"

"Sunnydale.  The battle that fell in, then LA and the explosion.  The last seven were with me.  We had to get to the backup spot.  Something was driving me there and I had field treated Amber but some shrapnel had cut into her side.  I had missed some.  I had to go in and get it because she started to bleed.  I had to dig it out.  Then I had to seal it up.  About ten minutes after I got done, House got there dragging Wilson for some reason and Chase behind them.  But Chase was wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket.  I don't know why."  He shook his head quickly.  "House yelled at me for not telling him about that possession but he checked her over for me.  We all stared at each one for a minute then Tony finally laughed and yelled for Leo.  When he appeared, I woke up with a bright light and the start of a headache.  But Sam and Dean were both asleep.  Dawn was still out."

Daniel leaned forward.  "It might be a warning, Xander."  He took his hand to squeeze.  "You do get visions."

"I got bleed over from Sam for more than my just in case feelings."

Daniel shook his head.  "No, Xander.  You've had some real visions.  I've talked to others.  Even the bond you guys share wouldn't let it bleed over that way."   He gave the hand a squeeze.  "How did you know it was a warning?"

"It felt wrong.  Inside, like that waiting feeling I get."

"Okay, we'll talk with Phoebe in the morning.  See if they've heard anything."  Xander nodded quickly.  "Can you write it out for me?"

"I'd rather forget.  I don't want to resee gathering the girls again, Danny."

"I know, Xander.  Keep it as a journal entry if you can.  Writing it down to get it out of your head."  He nodded at that.  "Good.  Let me think about it.  If it does happen, call this number," he said, writing it down and handing it to him.  "That's my old cellphone."

Xander nodded.  "I can do that."  He stood up.  "Thanks, Danny."

"Not a problem, Xander.  Go back to bed and try to sleep."  The boy nodded, heading back to his apartment. Daniel wrote down what he knew and moved to email the witches they worked with in San Francisco.  They'd email or call back a few suggestions as soon as they knew what was going on.  He went to bed to think about that.  He hoped it wasn't Willow.  He really did.  Xander didn't need that from her.

***

Dean walked up to Xander the next morning, staring at him.  "Did you have strange dreams?"

"We have got to unlink us," he said quietly.  "Another au world?"

"No.  You saw what?"  Xander nodded.  "No, I got banana splits dancing in my head all night."

"That's because you ate tuna fish before bed last night," Sam said as he walked past them.  He paused and turned to look at Xander.  "Bad dream?" he asked hopefully.  Xander shrugged.  "Hmm.  Dawn, did you get funny dreams?" he called.

"I got banana splits dancing and trying to strip off their whipped cream," she called, coming out to join them.  She looked at Dean, who looked embarrassed.  "That explains that."

"He ate tuna fish before bed," Sam told her.  "It happens like that."

"Good to know."  She looked at Xander.  "I'm guessing you didn't get stripping banana splits?"

"No, I got an au where DCIS wasn't created."

She gave him a hug.  "It'll be okay, Xander.  I will beat her if she tries to do that again."  She went back to breakfast. It was a holiday from school.  She was going to eat and then go back to bed.

Sam looked at him.  "I didn't get a thing."

Xander smiled.  "Good, but we still have to break this link."

"Dean, if you *ever* give me those sort of bad dreams again I'm going to beat you!" Abby yelled as she walked into the caf.

"Sorry, Abby."  He rolled his eyes.

"Take something for your stomach afterward," Sam ordered.  He looked at Xander again.  "A vision?"  He shrugged. "No idea?"

"Could've been a warning.  I don't know."

Abby came out to look at them.  "Did we have more than the not-DCIS that happened?"

"That was mine," Xander sighed.  "Daniel knows and he's talking to Phoebe."

She punched him on the arm.  "It won't happen.  Willow's still in that big crystal."

"Anyone can make a wish.  Cordelia did once," Xander corrected.

She made him look at her.  "It won't happen.  I promise it won't.  We won't let it."  She kissed him on the tip of the nose then grinned.  "Okay?  Because John sent an email that said a few of his Marines and Ronon have major hero worship over your last case."  He groaned, hanging his head to shake it.

"He may not be the one to worship for that," Dean teased.  He punched Xander lightly on the arm, getting a pained yelp.  "What?"

"Buffy got him the other day," John said, staring at him.  "More crap from the bond?"

"No, they got Dean's, I got Xander's," Abby said with a grin.

"Dean?" John asked.

"Tuna fish," Sam said.

"Oh.  Never mind."

"Stripping banana splits," Dean told him.  His father groaned.  "Xander got what may or may not be a vision but Daniel knows and is talking to Phoebe sometime today."

"Bad?" John asked.

"Au where DCIS isn't," Xander told him.

"Crap.  I hate those.  Hold on, Willow..."

"Cordelia created one with a vamp me," Xander pointed out.

John shuddered, walking off to get something to take that thought out of his head.  Brenda gave him a worried look.  "There was an alternate universe with a vampire Xander?"

"Yeah.  Cordelia wished Buffy had never come to Sunnydale so no one stopped the Harvest," Dawn said.  She licked her spoon off before sticking it back into her yogurt with chocolate chips and granola.  "Xander ended up the Master's favorite child and sired Willow too.  She was a skanky, lesbo, anything goes as long as it's fun pain vamp in a leather cat suit."

John squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head quickly.

Brenda gave him a hug.  "It's gone, John.  You know that."

"Good!"  He sat down, looking at Dawn.  "What did you get last night?"

"Dean's tuna fish problems."

"Good."  The trio from outside came in.  "Do we need to deal with it?"  Daniel shook his head.  "Thank you."

"She's already written back.  Leo's looking into it.  Let's not worry about it, guys."  They all nodded.  Xander sat down to eat breakfast.  Abby handed over an email.  He read it and handed it to Jack.

Jack looked at the email then at Abby.  "Tell Sheppard it's not allowed.  Or else I have to go up there."

"I can do that.  Or you could write him."

"No.  I'd nag."

"Okay.  I'll write them later."  She sat down to get into the food.  "Did you get to hear some of the Marines are thinking Xander's a role model after their last case?"

Speed gave her a look then slowly leaned over to test her forehead.  "You don't seem sick."

House walked in.  "Who's sick?"

"Apparently some Marines where her honey works are because they think Xander is a role model," Speed told him.

House gave Jack an odd look.  "Do they need my services?"

"They have a head shrinker who's not too bad.  I don't know where she's failed so far."

"I'm good most of the time," Xander complained.  "It's not like I do it on purpose.  It just happens and I have to do something."

"I'm sending you on simpler cases," Daniel told him.

"That's fine.  I try to keep it down.  You know I do."

"Uh-huh," Jack said, giving him a look.

"How many times did you have things happen?" Xander shot back.

"Too many."

"Exactly."

Jack nodded.  "It happens but try not to let it?"

"I do."

"Good."  He dug back into his breakfast.  He made the mistake of looking at Dawn's breakfast and turned green but looked the other way.  Abby's made him pause.  "Abby, did you have an announcement?"  She gave him an odd look.  "You're eating peanut butter on your eggos.  With cornflakes on top."

"No.  I like it.  I have since I was a teenager."  She ate a bite.

"Okay.  Just making sure."

She smiled.  "When I went for christmas, all I told Rod was that I had a surprise.  John wanted to make sure it wasn't an EPT surprise too."

He nodded.  "We all do.  That kid would be very scary, Abby."

She nodded. "To Rod too.  He doesn't like kids."

"Good!"  He smiled.  He smiled at Daniel too.  "Isn't that good?"

"As long as there's future geniuses."

"I'm sure there will be," Jack said.

Abby beamed.  "Some year I'll provide the next science goddess."

"When you do, maybe we'll help you two home school them," Daniel offered.  She beamed at that, digging back into breakfast.  Even though he would probably run from that kid too.  He'd have to tell Sam about that.  She was still on Atlantis.

***

Sam looked at the email, then across the lab at Rodney.  "Abby eats peanut butter on her waffles?"

"Usually with cornflakes on top," he said absently.

"Jack thought she might be pregnant."  Rodney stiffened.  "She said she's not but some year she'll give the world a future science goddess that Daniel said he'd help tutor."

Rodney looked at her.  "Far, far in the future."

"Of course.  Jack's scared to death of that kid."

"As am I."  She smirked.  "Any other charming, cheery news?"

"They're worried about the Marines who consider Xander a role model."

John strolled in.  "What's up?"

"They were wondering at Abigail's diet," Rodney said.

"So did I."

"Jack's scared of the kid, Daniel might help tutor it some year, and they're worried about the Marines who think Xander's a role model."

"So am I."  He leaned on the table to read the email.  He smiled.  "I'm scared of that kid too."  Ronon leaned in.  "What do you think about Abby and Rodney having a kid some year?"

"I.  Will.  Run."  He smirked at the irritated look he got sent by McKay.  "It'll either be allergic to everything or it will be too smart for normal people to stand.  Or both."  He walked off shaking his head.  He ran into their doctor.  "They're talking about McKay and his woman having children some year."

Beckett gave him an odd look.  "Far, far in the future."

"Good!"

He went to talk to them.  "Is it a current worry?  If so, I'll have to check on her when she's up here in case there's some sort of complication."

"We're talking in four or five years," John assured him.

Carson smiled.  "Good to know."

Rodney sent him a dirty look.  "Why such interest in the fruit of my loins?"

"Because your kid will be *scary*," John said simply.  "Her innocent looks and brain, your allergies and brain?  The kid'll create a bomb in elementary school instead of yours in middle school."

Rodney smiled.  "That would be a wonderful child.  Clearly someone needs to have one."

Carson snorted.  "If she's pregnant and up here we'll have to check to make sure she's not getting any funny radiation or viruses.  We wouldn't want the future genius to be tainted, now would we?"

"We have to figure out this split-galaxy living plan we have at the moment before any child may come into being," Rodney assured him.

"She'll need lab help," Sam pointed out.  "Even though Area 51 and NID were nearly gutted they have twenty open projects."

"I saw.  Two are not that good."

"No but they're considered safe enough and are under watch," she told him.

"Good.  Is she looking for someone?"  Rodney turned to look at her.  "Are they actively hiring her a head of R&D to spare her?"

"No.  Right now it's a lab assistant who'll look over their shoulders for ethics violations," Sam told him.

"They'll have a lot of work," Rodney complained.

"Yes but she'll need someone to help now and then," John said.  "Do you know anyone?"

"Not that isn't a total dolt and imbecile."  He paused then nodded. "I do know a few who teach that may be suitable.  If not, Charles Epps might.  I know he has some very good contacts.  He might be able to find her a Graduate Assistant."  He wrote her that email.  Plus that they were speculating about their future spawn.  They really would have to do something about that.  He got back one that made him grimace.  "She reminded me that some year Xander's children could come up here to take our places."

"I'll be dead by then," John and Sam said together.  Carson chuckled quietly.

John paused.  "Is Xander an ATA carrier?"  McKay smirked and nodded.  "No way in hell."

"O'Neill doesn't know."

"Good!  Keep it that way!"

"The wraith would run from him," Rodney taunted.  "Unlike us."

"So will I," John assured him.

"They wanted to know if you'd change agencies and be on his team," Sam reminded him with a grin.

"No.  I'll die here, thanks."

Carson laughed louder.  "Surely the boy can't be that bad."  Rodney motioned him over to watch the video.

"Why do you have a copy on your laptop?" John asked.

"So I can remind you not to be that bad," he shot back.

Carson gaped.  "The boy....  Is incredibly suicidal or something."

"He was saving a teammate."

"Still!  He faced down two warring clans with only a gun!"

"Which is why Ronon wants to have a poster of him for his wall," John said.

"If I see any like him, I'll let the right people know."  He went to think in his office.  Maybe the doctors down there needed to hold a conference about some subjects?  Before Xander warped others?

***

Daniel looked at the people in his office.  "Requests have come in for conferences."

"I'm going to the Chicago conference again," Abby told him.  "I've already put in my registration."  She shifted.  "Did they want me to run a conference?"

"I don't know.  That may be up to you.  Are there enough things discovered to need one?"

"Um... only if I include the first stuff again."

"You'll have enough time?"

"I will.  They made sure of it."

"Good.  House, there's a lot who want to talk to you too."

"I'm not against running a conference but I have no idea how and as soon as I leave the base something will happen.  We all know it.  It did last time."

Abby nodded.  "It did."  She patted him on the arm.  "You can run one locally.  Or in LA.  That's not that far."

House considered it.  "It takes a long time to arrange those things.  I have no idea how to even start organizing one either."

"I hate to say it but we do have a politics loving director in the jail," she offered.

He looked at her.  "I might be able to ask her."  Daniel nodded that was fine with him.  "What would I go over?"

"All the stuff you've discovered since you started to work here," Daniel said.

"That slayers want to be kinky but think that candles are?" he joked.

"Only if they ask," Daniel said dryly.  "I was thinking more of the medical things you've discovered."

"I'd have to organize it and I could probably do a book faster then go to a regular conference to give a talk."

"That is an option," she told him.   "I did that at first."

"I remember, it drove you insane for months."

"But there's now a framework in place if you wanted help making your own charts and stuff."

"I'll think about it," he decided, looking at Daniel.  "I'd still need at least eight months unless I get new ducklings?"

"Not going to abuse Chase?"

"He's grown a backbone.  It's not nearly as fun as it used to be," he quipped.

"If you can find a new duckling I don't mind," Daniel offered.  "But I'll have to look at your budget."

"Mine's under what I expected."

"Excellent.  Even with the upgrade?"

"Even with the upgrade," House agreed.

"So am I," Abby said cheerfully.  "Rod suggested I ask Charlie Epps to help me find a GA for a lab assistant."

"Can we afford one?" Daniel asked.

"Yes, especially with the slack in their budgets."

"Good point but we were ordered to cut some of it."

"We can up the lab and the infirmary budget, plus the agent budget by nearly fifteen percent and still cut thirty," Abby said, digging out a disc.  "Here you go.  I looked it over.  I was waiting on information and none was coming."

He ran it, nodding at the figures.  "They have a lot bigger budget than we do."

"Evil always does," House said.  "Look at Cuddy's budget."  She bopped him on the arm.  "She does.  I make more now so I'm happy."  He smirked.

"Does that mean you're moving up on the evil scale?" Xander asked as he walked past the door.  "If so, don't make the girls slay you.  A few were asking Faith about bondage."  Daniel and House both choked.  He grinned on his trek for soda.

"If they try, tell me so I can let John spank them," Daniel told him.  House nodded at that.  "It looks like we can.  Does the infirmary need anything but a resident to give you guys more time off?"

"We can handle it with that and a new tv.  One of the nurses got mad at the football game and broke the set in the office."

"We can do that," he agreed.  "Let me go over the budget to see where we've already got slack."  That got a nod.  "I have to do it next week anyway for Congress."

"That'll work," House agreed.  He stood up.  "Let me get together with Chase for the ideas on the idea sharing."  That got a nod.  "Nice chat, Daniel."

"Welcome."  House got some coffee then went back to the infirmary.  "Others want to pick our brains."

Chase looked at him.  "I've been compiling notes."

"They wanted to talk about a conference."

"Are we throwing one?"

"Or doing something like a book and then attending once it's published."

"My notes can be made into one but it'll be textbook looking."

House nodded.  "That's not a bad idea.  There's the research group in LA."

Chase nodded, turning to the computer to email them as well.  They would be the prime attenders of any talk they gave.  It was polite to ask them about the form they wanted to use.  House sipped his coffee while he looked at all the notes he'd made.  He had a whole folder of notes on the computer plus his ones at home.  Not to mention the ones he had written down in the early days.  This was going to be a chore.

***

Abby bounced down the runway of the airport, heading to the rental desk.  She got her car and headed off to CalSci.  She found a good parking spot and got out, heading for the building she wanted.  She ran into some people she had seen pictures of.  She waved at one and found the right office a few minutes later.  She knocked.  No answer.  She frowned. She looked around then went to find someone else who might know something.  She ran into someone she did know.  "Larry?"  He looked startled but stared at her.  "Hi, Abby Sciuto."

"Oh, with DCIS."  He shook her hand.  "Case related?"

"Looking for a lab assistant/overseer of reports coming in."

"Hmm.  That's interesting."  He smiled.  "Do you have time for a longer than average run through visit?"

"I'm in for the next three days if I need to."

"Excellent.  Let's get together this afternoon around four-thirty?"

"Sure.  I can go hang out in the library.  I miss being in college some days."  She bounced off.

Larry smiled at her back.  "She is a breath of fresh air."  He walked off, running into Amita in the halls.  "Tell Charlie he has a consult coming in about four-thirty but it's not a time sensitive issue please?"

"Sure.  Why?"

"Someone we consult for is looking for assistants."

"Oh.  That's good."  She smiled, going to tell Charlie that.  She smiled when she found him surrounded by a gaggle of cute girls who took him instead of the other teachers so they could stare at him.  "You have an appointment at four-thirty."

"No, we have dinner with the chair at six," he said.

"You have a consult coming in at four-thirty.  Someone looking for help finding lab assistants."

"Who?"

"No idea.  Larry told me."

"Thanks."  He smiled at the students.  "I have to get to my next class.  Come up during office hours and I'll help you then."  They walked off smiling.  He looked at her.  "Lab assistants?"

"That's what he said."

"Okay."  He walked off texting Larry.  He smiled at the answer he got back.  He had liked talking with Abby over a few of the problems she'd had recently.  He was barely settled in his office when she walked in slurping a soda.  "Our caf finally got the machine fixed?"

"No but the 7-11 was across the street."  She smiled, sitting down in his student chair.  "I now have two other labs under my heading."  He nodded slowly.  "Area 51 and NID," she said quietly, glancing at the door then at him.  He looked stunned.  "They decided to put all the freakish agencies together under us."

"That's good."

"We've already went through to fix all the ethical issues."

"Excellent work from what I've heard.  What sort of lab assistant do you think you need?"

"I either need someone to read over their reports and coordinate or someone to help me when I'm being the goddess of forensics I am."

"Are you thinking about splitting off the duties you have?"

"No.  If I need to I'll use it to entice my boyfriend down.  He's on Jack's old project."

He nodded at that.  "What about your present researchers?"

"I asked, they said they won't be jealous and they don't want it because it'll cut into their time working on new things."

"So you need someone who can do some oversight?"

"Only of the other people.  I trust mine.  Jack and a few others weeded down the bad people in the other labs.  I don't know if I trust them to act ethically.  So I need someone who can go over their reports.  Also someone to help me when I'm doing three things in different labs.  Usually with forensics."

"So at least chemistry and/or physics skills," Charlie said.  She nodded.  "Ethical and sensible enough not to flinch at the subject matter."

"Or the fact that we're over a prison."

"I can ask around.  Larry and I may be able to come up with someone good, Abby."  She beamed.  "How long are you in for?"

"Up to three days.  If I have to I can come back or video conference for interviews."

"Do you have a problem working with other women or men?"

"No.  Not as far as I know.  Competent.  Especially whenever Rod's around.  He's a bit...loud about incompetent people but he's really nice otherwise."

"I've met him at a few conferences," he said with a small smirk.  "I remember."  She grinned back.  "How often is he down?"

"A few times a year."  She squeaked.  "Oooh, you weren't in on the patent showing off episode."

"No, I wasn't."  She dug into her purse and handed something over.  "What's this?"

"Patents and schematics.  Larry might like those since we got possessed by the geek trio and they had us build a whole lot of stuff for them so they could rest better in the afterlife."

He ran the cd, looking at the ideas that had been certified.  "Is that...."  He beamed at her.  "A working proton accelerator?"

"It is.  It's in the lab."

Larry walked in.  "Did I hear proton accelerator?"

Abby grinned at him.  "Last Halloween, Xander, Dean, and I were all possessed by the two of the three geek kings from Sunnydale.  They wanted us to build the rest of their ideas so they could rest easier in the afterlife."

Larry blinked, coming over to read over Charlie's shoulder.  "Can we examine them?"

"They're in the lab.  We took them to DC for the patent office.  I'd have to ask permission to bring them out again.  We're kinda worried about someone stealing them."

"I can understand that.  Think we can arrange it if Don's team watches over it?"

"I'll ask," she said, dialing the base.  "Danny, it's Abby.  Charlie and Larry wanted to look at the geek toys.  Is there a way we can get them to LA?  I know, but his brother is our liaison.  Could we work it out that way?  I can track him down if you have a way to do that.  Thanks, dear."  She hung up.  "He'll have to arrange it through Don and I've got to find one other agent to let him know because it's a theft risk."

They nodded.  "Please," Larry agreed.  "Let us talk to some people around the department?"

"I can do that.  Xander wanted me to check on the girls for him and give Cordette a hug."

"We can let her come look at the toys too," Charlie promised.  She beamed and gave them both hugs before she and her soda disappeared to find that other agent.  He let Larry read better.  There were some ideas that could help in their areas of personal study.

***

Abby found the office she wanted.  It was hidden but not *that* hidden.  She presented herself at the guards, smiling as she pulled out her ID.  "I wanted to get a message to a certain agent we've worked with before.  We're going to be showing off a few highly powerful geek toys that are a theft risk in LA in the next few days.  We didn't want anyone to worry but with a portable proton accelerator that works, we have to be a bit cautious.  That and a few laser applications.  Some other geek toys.  We're going to go through Agent Epps with the FBI, but just in case you guys hear something, we wanted you guys to know too."

The guard nodded. "I can pass that on, ma'am.  Do you have a file?"

"No.  I let Charlie Epps at CalSci, Agent Epps brother and another consultant of ours, have the cd with it."

"Okay, I'll let them know.  Thank you for giving us a head's up, ma'am."

"Welcome.  Better to be safe than to have Xander having to save people in something that'll get press attention this time.  He hates that when it happens."

"I'm sure we all do, ma'am."

She pinched his cheek.  "So very nice."  She bounced off to her rental car.  He could pass that on.

The guard called up.  "Can you pull the tape from my post for the last few minutes?  I just had a very goth, strange young woman with DCIS credentials saying they were bringing in a few powerful toys that could be stolen and one was a laser application.  One was a proton accelerator.  Something about Agent Epps with the FBI and his brother Charlie having the list of what was coming in?  Thank you."  He hung up and shook his head to clear it.  She babbled very well.

***

Charlie looked over as someone knocked on the door, going to open it.  "Yes?"

"Sir, we're NSA.  Abby Sciuto is moving some sort of nuclear application locally?"

"Not quite.  Long story short, she and a few others got possessed by some former geeks who wanted them to build their life's work.  Including a proton accelerator like on _Ghostbusters_.  It works very well from what I've heard and seen.  They sent us testing data too."

"Are they using it in the field?" he asked, looking disgusted.

"No, these are toys.   Powerful, deadly toys."  He went to copy the cd, handing it over.  "That's what she gave me.  She said she had to contact another agent.  Someone Agent Harris had worked with on a case earlier.  He was one of the builders."

"That explains a lot," he said dryly.  "Should we worry?"

"Only if they get stolen from Don's people."

"Good to know."  He walked off, going to hand over the cd.  The contact looked at him.  "You guys know Harris and survived working with him?"

"He helped me with a bomb that nearly went off.  He turned in a nuclear bomb in LA."

"You're better than I am if you're still sane."  He walked off, going home for the night.  Like many people who ran into Xander or his minions, he wanted a drink.

The agent ran the cd, bringing his tech people running with a whistle and a hand wave.  "If these get stolen, we're in trouble."  He let them look things over.  He could definitely see Xander's hand in these.  They were super geek toys.  Some other geek could turn them into something stronger or more dangerous.

***

Abby cooed as she petted the boxes that had been delivered to Don's office.  "My babies."

Don gave her an odd look.  "They're not going to wail for diapers or food, right?"

"No.  The Tara robot is still in Cleveland."  She beamed.  "That was a good job of ours."

"Okay," he decided.  He let her check things, wincing at her pout.  "Something missing?"

"There should be another case.  I know Spenser has the light saber but there should still be another case."  A portal opened and Dean came out, handing it to her. "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Don't hug me."  He smirked at her.  "We built another one and another ten things that weren't on the patent list."  He handed something over from his pocket.  "Cards for Cordette's birthday."  He walked back through and the portal closed.

Abby opened them, squealing at a few things.  Including petting the new thing she hadn't seen yet.  "What do we do?"

"Do not let it fire inside the building," Don ordered.

She pouted.  "Spoilsport."

He nodded.  "I don't want to deal with a lock down today."

"Fine."  She finished unpacking and noting what was what.  "There we go."  Don looked, then at her.  "Andrew and his buddy possessed us."

"I can tell."  He called Charlie.  "They're in."  He hung up and looked at the stuff.  He pointed at the light saber.  "It works?"  She lit it up.  He swallowed his drool.  "That's very cool."

Megan walked in.  "What are these?"

"Geek toys," Don told her.  "Abby, Xander, and Dean created them."  He put the cards into his pocket.  "Can we turn that off, Abby?"  She turned it off.  "Thanks."  He waved off the guards.  "It's all right, guys.  She's showing off geek toys for Charlie and Larry."  They walked off grumbling.

Charlie rushed in and put his bag down in a chair.  "Oh, man.  This is better in person."

"And some things that weren't on the list that we've been working on, plus the new light saber."  She sat down to let him fondle things.  Larry came in with Amita, coming over to get hin their own fondling time in.  Megan looked too.  Colby gave them an odd look from the door.  "Geek toys."

"Obviously."  He came in to look.  Then he walked out shaking his head.  Too geeky for him.  He might respect math but it was too geeky for him.  David gave him a look.  "Geek toys.  Abby brought them."

He went to look.  It might be interesting.  Some of it he nearly drooled on.  The light saber especially.  What boy hadn't wanted to be a jedi when they saw the movies?

***

Abby answered the door when it was knocked on.  "You worked with Xander and inspected our armory."

"I did."

"Couldn't sneak someone into the FBI office?"

"No.  Not today.  May I?"  He got let in.  "Thank you."  She pointed so he went to look inside the cases.  He nearly moaned at some.  "Do we think someone can take these and make weapons?"

"Maybe.  I know Rod can but he's out of touch."  He looked at her.  "He works on Jack's old project."

"I looked that up.  Is he safe?"

"He's my guy.  He's busy saving the universe."

"That's fine."  He got back to looking them over.  A few of them did worry him.  "The security here?"

"The hotel knows.  Don told them."

"Good."  He went back to looking it over.  He nearly turned something on but if he was right and it worked it might trash the room.  She bounced over to pull out a cd from the case.  "Testing?"

"Yup.  We blew out parts of the lab wall because it was too cold to hike out to the testing building."

"I can see why.  It's probably very strong."  He tucked that into his shirt pocket and went back to looking.  He held something up.  "Grenade?"

"Sonic."

He gave her a look.  "We have how many?"

"Four.  Don took one for testing.  I brought an extra one for you."

"Thank you."  He tucked that into his pants pocket then went back to looking.  He held up something.

"Um, chlorine.  Xander made it.  He dabbles now and then too."  It went into the same pocket.  "Don't mix them up."

"I won't."  He found something else and held it up.  "It's warm?"

"It should be.  It's for Rodney.  It's a smaller, single use proton expeller.  I was going to send it to him in the next shipment."

"Do we only have the one?"

"Yeah but I've never tested it.  I figured he would."

"Can we?"

"It might be too strong.  He can test it somewhere it can't do any harm at all and do it remotely."

"Can we get it to him tonight?"

"Don't know."  She called Dawn.  "It's me.  Can we hand something off to Rod tonight?  Paranoid agents.  Please.  Thanks."  A portal opened, she had sent a picture earlier.  She took that one and stepped through, smiling as the one opened to Atlantis.  "Hi, all."  Rodney came jogging down from the command center. "Like the packs only it's single use and I've never tested it.  I'm not sure how strong the beam would be."  She took a kiss and handed it over.  "I'd test it remotely just in case."

He smiled. "Like the proton pack?"

She beamed and nodded.  "Only a single use expeller.  It'll shoot off."

"I'll have to try that."  He took another kiss.  Dawn coughed.  "Sorry."

"She's in LA."

She smiled.  "Come down soon.  I'm picking a lab assistant through Charlie and Larry at CalSci.  Plus I'm getting ready for the conference."  She stole another kiss then backed through the portal.  It closed and Dawn sent her back to LA.  "It's with him."  She beamed.  "He's been eating meatloaf."

The agent smiled at that, shaking his head slightly.  "It's good you love him."  He stood up.  "The rest should be safe.  I talked with hotel security myself and they said there's an agent sitting outside.  If you need us, have Epps call.  He has the phone number.  Keeps you from having to find the base again."

She beamed.  "Thank you."  She gave him a hug.  "Have fun testing."

"I can do that."  He walked off, going back to the base to let their geeks test them.  He had taped everything in the cases so they could see.  It was as good as he could do without confiscating them for geek petting time.

Abby settled in to have smutty thoughts about her guy.  He was very good to her and very good with her.  She missed him.  She hoped he came down soon.  She could use a shot of confidence before the conference.

***

Rodney walked back upstairs to the meeting with a goofy grin.  He put the egg on the desk.  "It's like the proton pack only it's a single use, expelling beam.  She's never tested it, we should test it in isolation with remote monitoring, and do it somewhere we can't harm anyone."  He sat down and put his feet up with a smirk.  "She's getting a lab assistant through the math specialist they consult with at CalSci.  I've met him at a few conferences.  He's not bad.  Young genius.  College at fourteen."  He looked at Sam.  "She's getting ready to do a conference and wanted my help if we have the time."

"If we do you can have a weekend down there if you can get Dawn to move you."

"Thank you."

"Where do you want to test that?"

"Somewhere remote without a native species.  Or find a ship and bomb them."

Sam nodded. "I can see those options.  Find one?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Do we have remote sensors that wouldn't be destroyed?"

"Yes.  I can rig some up so that even if we lose them it's all right."

"Good."  She smiled.  "Get to work on that.  Let me know when you want the time off, make sure you have your phone set to check your email if we need you."  He nodded at that.  "Take Ronon with you so he can crush on Xander if you want.  Come back relaxed with that same goofy grin."  She clapped her hands.  "Go back to work."  They left.  Rodney took the grenade with him.  She shook her head.  Rodney in love was so strange.

***

Abby walked her new lab assistant in, looking around.  "Newbie in the lab!" she yelled.  Her people came out to look.  "This is the new lab assistant, Megan.  She's here to do the overlooking of the other files and to help us if we need it.  She's a physics major and Larry recommended her highly.  She's a graduate candidate in her last year."  They shook her hand and showed her around while telling her about their projects.  Abby went to check her email while they did it.  Then she bounced off to help with the tour and introducing her to everyone.  She saw Speed flinch at that name but she wasn't the one he was thinking of.  She walked her out to find her an apartment then they got back to work in the labs.

***

Jack looked up as Abby found him.  She was dragging Mac and Horatio by their wrists and had papers in her teeth.  He took the papers.  "They wouldn't come?"

"Not immediately."  She pointed at the papers.  "Three projects you guys missed looking at.  Megan saw them and nearly freaked at the human genetic experimentation to make telepathic warriors for secure communications on the battlefield."

Jack groaned, looking them over then handing them to Horatio, who handed them to Mac.  "I flagged two of these as questionable," Mac said.  The other one he stared at.  "I've never seen this one."

"Me either," Horatio said, taking it back to look over again.  "Which lab sent that over?"

"NID.  I put one of their assistants to specifically make progress reports to me weekly.  Someone Rod said wasn't too stupid or bad, just liked to brag a lot about every little accomplishment."

"That way they'd brag about all their accomplishments to you," Jack said.  "Not a bad idea.  I didn't know McKay thought tactically.  Sheppard's rubbing off on him again."  She squeaked and blushed.  "Not like that, Abby.  Sheppard's getting all the girls up there."

"I know some girls who'd like to see that," she admitted, "but I'd never ask.  Rodney's got a frail self esteem and I like him more.  John tries to play stupid too much."

"If you say so," Jack said dryly.  She bopped him on the head.  "Hey!"

She smiled.  "I had to learn it from Gibbs, Jack."

"I saw Mary doing it the other day," he said dryly.

"To the unicorn who tried to bite her," Abby agreed.

Horatio looked at her.  "Is the unicorn all right?"

"Yeah, they were playing around.  Digger tried to bite her so she swatted him on the head."  She looked at Jack again.  "Do I have to go stomping in there myself?"

"No, we'll save you for the bigger threats," he decided.  "Guys?"

"I have a case on my desk that's going to turn into a team case," Horatio said.

"I'll go with you," Mac said.  Jack nodded.  "We'll bring Stella or Speed with us since they're the more science oriented of all of us."  She beamed at that.  "Tonight, Jack?"

"We can leave after dinner."  Abby hugged him.  "What was that for?"

"The girls are cooking dinner tonight."  She bounced off.  "Let me know."

"I will.  And Danny how much more budget he suddenly has."  Mac snickered, shaking his head.  "He will."  He put his feet back up and went back to reading over them.  "Did we get reports from Area 51 yet?"

"She didn't mention any."  Horatio walked off smiling to check on that.  She hadn't so they'd leave them alone for a bit longer before doing another check.

***

Jack walked into an office in the Pentagon two days later, tossing down closed report files.  "Human experimentation is *always* wrong, Generals.  So said Jackson, who is now over NID and Area 51.  Since we've run into some of their ideas in the past that nearly compromised earth's security we'd know.  Can we maybe try not to work against protecting all of us?"  He walked off, sliding into his sunglasses once he was outside.  He saw a familiar face.  "Out of retirement?"

"They said your group was changing a few rules and pissing people off, Jack."

Jack smiled.  "DCIS got handed Area 51 and NID, sir.  Danny's first order was to make them ethical."

Hammond smirked at that, nodding a bit.  "Bit of a shakeup?"

"Quite and some of the sponsored programs are now freeing up some space in the budget. I politely asked them to please quit compromising earth security."  He nodded politely at a colonel coming in, waving off the salute since he was in his dress uniform.  He looked at him again.  "Did they suck you back in, sir?"

"Not in the least.  I came in to take an old friend to lunch.  Deli good?"

"Deli's great.  You can't find a good deli in the town around the DCIS base.  I'm moving back and forth between the two."  That got a nod.  "Am I riding with you?"

"It might be safer," he agreed.

"That's why I asked for one with a remote start."  He pointed at a guard, getting him over.  He handed him the keys after he had started his car and it had blown up.  "I came directly from the airport, Lieutenant."

"I will find out who did that, sir."

"Thank you.  I'll be with my former CO for lunch."  He showed him his cellphone's number.  "Let me know?"

"Of course, sir."

"Thanks, kid."  They walked off together.  "Think we missed one with the extra neck passenger?" he asked on the way to the car.

"Could be," he admitted.  "There's a lot who don't like DCIS."

"Yet the military doesn't want to deal with what they do either.  Danny said he gets a lot of that from other federal agencies.  They were surprised when he went to a security conference."

Hammond shook his head.  "Can that compromise security?"

"Oh, yeah.  We knew we had a leak on base due to them.  Harris knew way too much about us when Danny showed up thanks to the demon networks."

Hammond groaned, giving him a look.  "Was it sealed?"

"They're making sure we don't end the world."

"Good!  That seems to be some of their species' jobs."

"Which gets Xander onto them and more federal agents end up drinking after exposure.  Did you get to hear the last one?"  Hammond shook his head so Jack told him on the way to the deli.  Including the Atlantean response.

"I'm so glad I don't have you both under me," he decided when he quit laughing.  "I'd never get anything done."

"Danny's picked up your antacid and tylenol habit, sir."

"I can see why."  They settled in to eat and chat about regular things while someone found where that bomb had come from.  It really was most rude of them.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Real Families.

Daniel looked around the office.  It was quiet, which was probably a bad thing at the moment.  "Why don't we find something to do?"

"You told us no hall bowling," Tony said.

"Good point.  Go find more socially acceptable things to do than solitaire?"

"The local churches are holding a rummage sale to benefit the next town's homeless shelter," Xander offered.  "The girls were going to the sale."

"That's not a bad idea," Danny Messer said.  "Is our priest helping?"

"Yup.  His church is doing the clothing."

"We can probably help until something new comes in," Stella said, looking at the others.  They all shrugged and Danny Messer called.  He hung up and nodded so most everyone wandered out to cars so they could go help.

Xander looked at Daniel.  "Abby's talked to some of her geek buddies in DC about a few other tests to find real families.  I'm waiting to hear."  He went back to solitaire.  "I guess that makes me duty officer."

"It appears it does," he said, smiling on his way back to the office.  He went down to the infirmary instead.  "House, has it escaped your notice that you haven't signed a new contract?"

"No, I'm still thinking."

"How long are you going to think?"

House shrugged.  "I don't know."  He grinned.  "I'll figure that out some day soon."

"When you do, come sign a new one and make Chase if he hasn't.  That way no one gets in trouble with ICE."

"I can do that."  He went back to watching soccer on tv.  "Anything good happening?"

"Not a single call but Abby thinks she might have more real families."

"That's good.  I hope."

"We all hope."  He left, going to check on Abby.  She had been locked in the lab all week.  He walked into her office.  "Abby?"  Her head popped up and she gave him an embarrassed look.  "I was wondering about the family project?  Xander's playing solitaire."

"I'm waiting on the last batch of results to come in."  She grinned and went back to her typing.

"Preparing for the conference?"

"Um, no, letter to Rod."  She blushed again.

"That's fine, Abby.  As long as things aren't being ignored.  You two are cute together."   She smiled.   "Let me know?"

"Him and John first."

He nodded, leaving to go catch up on his filing.  He was going to change Tony's system around a bit to do it by year and team then by what they handled. Or maybe by date would be easier.  He'd have to look and decide after ordering a new filing cabinet.  They were doing a lot more work than anyone liked to think.

"You have a room for storage," Xander called as he walked up the hall.

"Did you take that serum to be telepathic?" he joked.  Though, that was a horrible thought.

Xander gave him a look.  "Don't you wish," he taunted with a smirk.  Daniel shook his head.  "I've noticed you haven't filed in two weeks, Danny."

"I'm out of room."

"B-6 on the second floor.  It's back by the testing lab.  It's got shelves for boxes.  Boxes are in there waiting to be put together."

"How long has that been in place?"

"Two weeks after Tony took over."  He grinned.  "He figured we'd need it."

"Good thinking."  He went to look then pick out the first year's worth of the files to bring down there.  It took three trips but it was eventually filed well enough.  He marked the boxes then went back upstairs to fix the filing cabinets again.  Abby and Xander were talking.  "Should I hear?"

"The Watchers stole a few of them," Xander said.  He called someone.  "It's Xander.  I need you, John, and Giles up here now.  My desk."  He hung up.  He looked at her.  "How many?"

"Four are in the Missing and Exploited Children database.  Two are in FBI files, one overlaps."

"So we have five who we know," Xander said.  Wesley and John walked in together, Giles walking behind him. "They stole some of the girls from their families."

"Shite," Wesley muttered.

"Could've put that more strongly," Xander said dryly.  "Are they calling them or us?"

"They talked to the people and told them.  They're gathering the families.  Mary is one."

Xander nodded.  "That'll be a hard sell."  She nodded.  "Okay.  So what do we do, Giles?"

Giles gave him a look.  "Why ask me?"

"You're in charge," John said.  "You have to set official policy."

"Why were we looking?"

"We've always looked to see if the girls had families left," Abby told him.

"Oh, I see.  Where did we find them?"

"You've seen the pictures in Wal-mart and on milk cartons?  Those people," Xander told him.  Abby sat on the edge of his desk.  "Any other problem ones?"

"The one with Rodney and John, Tiff."

"That's going to be a bigger problem," Xander said.  "She's eighteen?"

"Seventeen."

"Crap."

"Basically."  She smiled.  "I did send them an email."  Dawn bounced in.  "We have some more real families through the Missing Children network."

"Okay."

"Including the one with Sheppard and McKay."

"I can get her."  She opened a portal with a bit of thought then bounced through.  "We need our slayer back."  The guards gave her an odd look.  "We think we found a relative."

"I'll get her," one said, calling her.  She stomped in.

"Don't give me that look.  Abby's bloodwork project bore fruit in your tree."

She stopped to look at her.  "Excuse me?"

"They found some of the girls were taken."

"I was?"

"No clue.  You were reported."

"So...."

"Meet, greet, don't tell them what you do?  Jack's on base, you can ask him."

"Let me get a few things."   She ran off while Dawn pulled out a nail file and did her nails.  She came back with a backpack and John.  "I have no clue."

"Abby found a few had been taken."

"Shit," John said.

"Yeah.  So we're going to see what we want to do.  Then I'll bring her back?"  They nodded.  "Cool.  Let's go."  She walked her back through and shut the portal.  "Here we are, one trotting slayer."

"Tiff, we found you a brother and a father," Abby said.  "It's up to you about what you tell them, within classified material radius."

She put her pack and bag down, looking at her.  "Where have they been?"

"Waiting on you.  The report said that the watchers tried to buy you and when it didn't work, they stole you."

"Um, no.  I didn't go to the watchers until I was seven.  My mother gave me to them."

"Then we can talk to them," Abby said.  "Maybe they're nice, I don't know."

She shrugged.  "Okay."

"Daniel said Jack or he can go with you since you know so much classified stuff," Abby offered, pulling her closer to fix her messed up hair.  "It'll be okay.  If they're mean you don't have to deal with them."

"I'm nearly eighteen."

"True and to get custody of you will take a while.  Especially since we can point out that you're in a well-protected training spot plus being a slayer."  She nodded, relaxing somewhat.  "You're not the only one."

"Good.  Any who'll cry on me?  I don't think I can take crying."

"Mary," Xander said quietly.

"I've got it," John said, going to find her and Gibbs.  He found them in the yard with the unicorns.  "We've got to talk you two."  They looked over.  "Abby's DNA search turned up a few more matches."

"I do?" Mary asked.

"You do."

"Huh."  She looked at Gibbs.  "Coming with me?"

"If you want."

"I'm going to need."

He nodded.  "I get that."  He pulled her closer.  "We'll handle it."  She relaxed again.  "They can't help but love you.  You know that."

"I hope."  She looked at John.  "How was I lost?"

"No clue at this moment.  They're looking at it.  The people in DC who matched it know that you're here and what happened.  They're putting everyone together soon."

"Okay.  I need a new outfit, huh?"

"Wear something nice," John told her.  "Let Gibbs find you a cute t-shirt and jeans."  She smiled, letting Gibbs walk her off to talk to her about this.  She'd need to talk.  John went back to find Wesley talking to the others.  "Gibbs has Mary."

"That's fine," Giles agreed.  "He seems to do her good."  He looked at Abby.  "What do we do now?"

"They know you're the *new* council and they know the girls are slayers.  They're going to inform the families then we'll meet I guess."  That got a nod.  "The girls will need some emotional support."

"Xander can have it off," Daniel assured her.  Xander nodded his thanks.  "Anything on the others?"

"Not really.  One's fingerprints came up at a scene a few years ago but it was a home invasion that resulted in a death.  I guess her watcher took her over after that."  That got a mass nod.  "But we have found some."  She slid off the desk.  "They're sending me the full files so we can tell the girls."

"Thank you, Abby," Wesley said.  "I'm sure after the initial emotional overload they'll be able to work things out."

"What about custody stuff?" John asked.

"If we have to we can fight about it," Xander said.  "Leaving it up to the girls."

That got a nod.  "That's sensible."  Giles cleared his throat.  "Should I go to the meeting?"

"I will," Wesley said.  Giles looked relieved.  "Make a decent statement for when the press finds out."  Giles groaned, letting Dawn send him home so he could get a few of the girls to help him with that.  He looked at Xander, who rolled his eyes.  "Let's gather to go to DC.  Get the girls outfitted for the meeting."

"Gibbs is doing that," John said.   They nodded, going to get the girls and take them to the mall.

***

Xander walked into the meeting area.  "Guys."  They all glared at him.  "Do not glare at me.  That was the old council, not the new one.  The girls are coming and they have been told what was in the files.  They're all emotionally swinging.  Please do not make the slayers cry?  I hate it when girls cry around me."  He let the girls in.  "Ladies."

Mary walked in with Gibbs behind her.  She saw her stepfather.  Then she looked at Gibbs.  "I can't."

"You can."  He put a hand on her shoulder.

"We can."  She nodded, walking him over there.  "You filed instead of my biological one?"

He looked stunned.  "You remember me?"

"I was seven, of course I do.  The same as I remember them talking Mom into it."  She nodded at Gibbs.  "This is my Watcher, Jethro Gibbs.  He's a former Marine and NCIS."  She sat down.  The others were slowly moving closer.

Tiff looked at her mother, then at Xander, who nodded.  She gave him a look.  He came over to hug her and sit with her.  The others could come over for theirs.  Tiff was a bit less stable emotionally, no matter how much her team helped. "Parents."

"Tiffany."

"It's just Tiff," she said.  She calmed herself.  "This is Xander.  He had Abby look for family after the calling and the explosions and stuff in LA."   She looked at him.  He grinned.  "I'm on field assignment."

"You're doing very good on your field assignment," Xander agreed.  "Your team has nothing but praise except for a few nightmares and a few sugar binges."

She shrugged.  "I needed it."

"Now and then we all do."  He patted her back.  "Deep breath."  She took one.  "Good girl."  She smiled.  "The old council was very much a 'do what's necessary' group.  The new one isn't."

"Then why is she in the field?" the woman asked shrilly.

"Because she wanted to go," Xander said.  "We offered it to her.  It got her away from the girls she was having problems being around.  She gets on well with them and they've helped her with the adjustments to being one of many slayers instead of someday being a possible slayer.  She's done very good.  She had some wobbles in there but she's moved on and grown up."

"I'm proud of myself," she agreed.  "I got over the special girl syndrome I had."

"They took you from us," the man said.

"Xander was, like, five," she said.  "He didn't become a watcher until two years ago."  She stared at them.  "Did they outright snatch me?  The file didn't say if you had been told or not."

Her mother stared at him.  "Unhand my daughter."

"I'm keeping her calm, lady.  I'm not touching her that way."  Mary bounced over to get a hug.  "You okay?"

"A bit stressed."

"Cocoa later."  She smiled and went back to tell Gibbs that.  "Or coffee if he'll let you."

"It'll stunt her growth," Gibbs complained.

"Chocolate coffee?" Mary suggested with an impish grin.

"We'll see."  She hugged his arm and went back to talking to her stepfather.

Tiff looked at her parents.  "I want Xander here."

"It's clear something is going on in wherever they're storing you," her mother said.

"I'm with the military on a top secret base.  They all look at me like I'm their little sister.  Even when one of the Marines got drunk last year he didn't hit on me when he hit on every other girl on base."  She got glared at.  Tiff calmed herself again.  "You know what?  The old records were destroyed but we do know that the watchers usually talked to the parents.  Did they tell you I was going to be a slayer?"

"They're crackpots."

Tiff picked up a chair then bent it into an interesting shape.  She put it on the table, leaning closer.  "No, they weren't.  I'm a slayer until I make my decision at twenty-three.  I'm doing great in my field work and I love working with the guys I work with.  I have a very strong female role model on base, or three.  Including one of the newly called older slayers.  She's been in the field for years before she took on the duties when given a choice.  I'm sorry this destroyed you.  I had no idea about any of this."  She stood up.  "I'll pay to replace the chair."

"We've got it," Xander assured her.  "Go calm down."  She nodded, going outside to do that.  He looked at her.  "I have no idea about her first watcher.  He died during the Bringers' purge.  We know she made it to Sunnydale and was in the battle there.  She was at the invasion in LA.  She's a good girl but she's not good with some sorts of stress.  She's not that hard to get to know.  All you have to do is talk to her."

"We're taking her home."

"That's up to her," Xander corrected.  "Or a court.  The judges we consulted after the Bringers' purge and the fall of Sunnydale, where they were called, knew that the old council did things like this.  That's why I had them look for relatives.  Let me calm her down and I'll bring her back in a few minutes."

"I don't want you near her," the father said.

Xander shrugged.  "I'm the head of training and the slayers' daily routine, sir.  She's outside hitting the building or crying."  He walked off, going to find her.

Mary looked over.  "Don't upset Tiff.  She had a lot of problems in her first year as a slayer.  She got special girl syndrome really badly.  Her present group is good to her."  She looked at her stepfather then the other girls.  "Anyone need a hug?"

"We're good," one said smiling at her.  "Thanks, Mary."

"Welcome."  She looked at her brother.  "I'm one of the youngest so I'm on hug patrol."

"That sounds like you're doing good," her brother said.

She nodded.  "I am.  I love living on base.  I have a lot of sisters in the older slayers.  I'm doing good in school.  The bullies don't bother me all that often."  She grinned.  "I got my own watcher a few months back, with a few of the older girls.  We stagger it so the older ones can mentor the younger ones.  He's one of the first passed into full blown watcher status."

"Do you want to come home?" her brother asked.

She shrugged.  "I don't know.  To visit and get to know you guys again, yes.  To live, probably not."

Her father nodded.  "You're willing to get to know us?"

"Of course.  I'm not against family."

He nodded, relaxing fully.  "That sounds good.  Your watcher is coming?"

"I'll be nearby in case she needs me," Gibbs told him.  "Slayers get attacked, it's a fact of life.  That way she can be safe."

That got a nod.  "That's reasonable."

Mary smiled.  "Want to have cocoa with us later?"

"We can do that.  What about the other ones?"

"We'll get together at the hotel.  The ones who want to bring their parents or whoever can.  We're pretty laid back because Xander's like that too."  Xander walked in with Tiff, who was wiping her cheeks.  She walked over, staring at her before giving her a hug.

Tiff hugged back.  "Thanks, Mary."

"You're welcome.  Remember, Rodney can snark at anyone," she whispered.

Tiff laughed at that, nodding some.  She went back to look at her parents.  "Xander said it's important I get to know you and settle this for all our sakes.  That way we can either get to know each other or whatever happens does."

Her parents stared at her.  "You're not going back," her mother said.

"I am," she said.  "I have a team that depends on me to help them.  I'm an integral part of the base's defense and it's necessary for me to be there because they're dealing with slayer sensitive issues."

"She's not on the DCIS base," Xander said when a parent gave him a horrified look.  "She signed on with a classified military project that we know enough about to know it's not a bad thing."  That got a nod and that parent relaxed again.  Xander stroked down that one's hair.  "Messy again."

"I was playing with it."

"You do that."  He smiled at her.  "Calm down."

Tiff looked at her.  "Looks better than mine."

"You cut yours short for ease of working with it," she countered with a grin.

"Good point.  I don't know how Teyla does it with her longer hair."  She looked at her parents.  "If you want to get to know me, I'm on leave for the next four weeks.  I can't tell you what I'm doing since it's classified but I will get to know you if you want."

"You're not going back," her father said.

"I'll be eighteen in seven weeks," she pointed out.  "I'm not against getting to know you.  I'm not against building a relationship with you."  She swallowed.  "But I am going back.  They need me.  I've saved sixteen lives in the last year with my special skills.  They're good people who need me."  Xander went to hug one of the girls that was crying.  She calmed herself down again.  "Now, if you want to get to know me, I'm all for that.  Do you want to stay here or go outside?  It's a bit stuffy and I can't take crying girls anymore."

Gibbs patted her on the back as he walked past her.  "Stay calm."

"I'm trying."

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Mary's Watcher.  I joined in the last year.  I'm a retired Marine and a former federal agent."  That got a gape.  "The new council only wants the best for the girls."

Tiff nodded.  "Xander had a talk with John about protecting me from guys who were assholes and wanted in my BDUs."

Gibbs nodded.  "I would if Mary was up there."  He smiled.  "We're going to have cocoa later."

"Thanks, Gibbs."

"Welcome."  He walked off.  Mary bounced out with him.  They'd be meeting them later.

Tiff looked at hers.  "Want to go outside?"

"No," her mother said.  "I want you to come home."

"No."  She stepped back.  "You can get to know me.  You can learn to love me.  I'm going back to my project in four weeks but we can get email in and out.  Plus I'm in contact for letters more often thanks to Dawn."  She stared at them.  "Even if you get a custody agreement, I'm still eighteen in seven weeks.  I can take that much time off.  They know it's possible."

"I can have you committed to cure this problem of yours," her father said, standing up.

"I had that with the special girl problem I had; I attacked someone in my mistaken ideas.  They'll get my records from the base's shrinks, the DCIS shrink, and they'll say I've made impressive progress in growing up."  Someone new walked in.  She stared, then nodded.  "Ladies, shrink in the room."

"Is that like Captain on deck?" one of the girls teased.

"Kinda.  Though, Sam's a really nice captain to work under.  She's great about going over tactics with me for patrol."  She nodded at the shrink.  "Did you need the records?"

"You should hear them out."

"I did.  I'm not going to be demanded to.  I've got a life I like.  I'm doing good.  Even the base shrink said I'm doing great.  If they want to get to know me, I'm not going to stop them.  I can always use more support but I'm not going to give up the life I had to rebuild after I screwed up."

He nodded.  "You're of an age to make that decision."

"I know that.  I had myself declared a legal adult on a break last fall."  She looked at her parents.  "So legally you can't do anything.  I'm more than willing to get to know you."  Someone else walked in wearing his dress uniform.  "Why are you down here?" she demanded.

"Xander called."

"Xander!"

He looked over.  "Last night."  She smiled and finished relaxing.  "Not like I understand family dynamics all that well."  A few of the parents looked at him.  "Mine were drunk."  That got a nod.  "That's why I treat all the girls like my little sister.  I even scare dates away."

Tiff laughed.  "John does it to me."

"You are like a pesky little sister," he agreed.  He nodded at the parents, handing over records.  "Her unclassified records.  Blacked out for everyone's protection."  He looked at the shrink.  "DCIS and ours."

"That's good."  He sat down to read it, nodding through it.  "I'm sure that sort of problem is pretty common?"

"Very," Tiff agreed.  "Even Buffy, the senior slayer, has it now and then.  She thought Xander was too normal to help."

John snorted, looking at her.  "After what he does for DCIS?"

"Before.  Same stuff back then though," Xander said dryly, giving him a look.  "We call it Slayer head up the skirt syndrome."

"It fits."  He looked at her.  "You've come a long way, Tiff."

"Her name is Tiffany."

"She said to call her Tiff.  So I do.  That's her choice."

The psychologist looked at them.  "She is on a good, even mental footing by these records.  A bit of battle stress it looks like but she's working through it."

"And I'm learning a lot about science since my original watcher didn't like me to go to high school because of the boys making me pay more attention to them."

"I heard a few did things like that," John agreed.  "Fortunately they're gone."

"Yes, he is," she agreed.  The psychologist stared at her.  "I'm sorry anyone dies but I didn't like him a whole lot.  I got happier once I was made a full slayer and got help to see where my problems were."  She looked at her parents. "You never did answer.  Did they tell you I was a slayer?"

"They were cranks," her mother said firmly.  "Slayers are not real."

"Really?  And yet I have the extra strength, the faster healing, and I was in the invasion in LA."  She stared at her.  "I'm a vampire slayer, mother.  Deal with it."  She took John's arm.  "We're having cocoa at the hotel."

"I can like some cocoa.  We have crappy stuff on the base."  He nodded at the parents.  "We're in the Hyatt?"  Xander nodded.  "If you wanted to come spend some neutral, less emotional time with her."

"She's been brainwashed," her father said.

She picked up the chair she had bent and straightened it out.  "Really?  Then explain that."  She looked at the shrink.  "May I?"

"Who has custody of you?" he asked.

"I do.  I had myself made an emancipated minor last fall.  It uncomplicated some stuff."

"I can see that," the shrink agreed.  "Do you feel you were brainwashed?"

"Yes but I healed from my first watcher's crap."  John nodded at that.  "Now and then I regress but I get better when John sics McKay on me.  He's a genius and he's teaching me lab sciences."

The shrink nodded.  "That's good.  It's good you have support.  Where are you serving?"

"No comment.  It's classified," she said firmly.  "Not around here."

"In the US?"

"No comment," John said.  "It's classified.  She's not allowed to tell you anything about where she is."

The shrink gave him an odd look.  "Are you here to make sure she doesn't spill secrets?"

"Even if I did want to tell them I doubt they'd believe it," she said.  "They don't want to believe I'm a slayer."

"There is no such thing," her mother said with a clenched jaw.

"See?"  She looked at her mother.  "Yes there is."

"There can't be."

Tiff sighed, looking at John.  "I want cocoa."

"Okay."  He looked at the shrink.  "With your leave?"  He handed back the records. "Thank you."  He walked her off.  "Calm down until we're in the car.  You can cry in the car."

"I am," she said, wiping at her cheek.  "Amber's mom wanted her to do professional sport endorsements."

"Some people can't and won't believe in what we do daily.  It gives them the same sort of headache Babylon 5 gives Rodney."

She laughed, nodding at that.  "Or worse, Star Trek Voyager."

"I have never seen anyone throw such a big fit over a show."  She laughed.  He let her into the car, taking her the long way to the hotel.  It included a stop at a drive thru ice cream place so they could get some and a stop in the park so she could cry and let it go.

***

Xander walked down to meet the officers that had shown up.  "Yes, Officers?"  They stared at him.  He held up his IDs.  "The old Council was full of assholes before they got blown up.  Which parent tried it?"

"You knew?"

"We just found out.  We're in to let the girls meet their parents.  Which one are you here for?"

"Brenda..."  He looked at the paper.

"Hold on.  Brenda's not here.  She's back on base."  He took the paper to look at then at him.  "These aren't her folks.  She's from Kansas originally."  He handed it back.  "Unless the old watchers changed her name."

"They said you're holding her hostage, sir."

"No."  He walked them up to the suite.  "Ladies, someone had their name changed?"  One raised her hand.  "They said I'm kidnaping you."

She laughed.  "Not hardly."  She looked at the officers.  "No."  She took the papers to look over.  "Isn't this Brenda?"

"No.  She's from Kansas and her parents are dead.  We did find that," Xander said.  "She knew before she got given over."

She handed it back.  "Mine was originally Louise.  Kinda glad they changed it to Rona."

The cops looked at him.  "They said she was here?"

Xander shook his head.  "No.  That's not our Brenda, guys.  If you want to search our records you can.  Where was she originally from again?"

"Tulsa."

"She's how old?" Tiff asked.

"Two."

"She's a potential," Xander said, getting it.  "No.  We're keeping them at home unless there's a good reason, like CPS being called or their parents dying."  He called Giles, putting him on speaker.  "Giles, me.  One of the potentials is missing?  They're claiming we kidnaped her."

"Which one?"

"Brenda, out of Tulsa."

"I'll have Dawn do a locating spell," he said firmly.  "Give me an hour to get her, Xander.  Buffy said she's soaking tonight."  He hung up.

"Give us an hour," Xander offered. "Want some cocoa?  The girls had some bad emotional rollercoasters today."

"We can wait," the lead officer offered.  "Let me call in."  Xander handed over his phone.  "Lieutenant, I'm with the second-in-command of the Watchers Council.  They're doing some sort of locating thing to find her for us.  She is not here.  Only some teenage girls.  One military guy.  They said about an hour."  He listened.  "That's fine, sir.  We were invited to wait and have cocoa with them.  Apparently some of the old council wasn't against that sort of tactic."

"I will kill any watcher who does something like that," Xander assured him firmly.  "Literally."  They nodded at that.  "I protect the girls.  I'm over their daily lives.  It won't happen this time."

The secondary officer smiled at that. "They've seemed okay when we've run into them in the past."

"Thanks," one said with a wave.  "We do try to live up to Xander's standards."  She grinned.  "He's a pain in the butt but we love him even though he does do background checks on our boyfriends."

"I do them on my daughter's boyfriends," the secondary officer said.

"I consider them like little sisters."  Xander grinned.  "Sit, please.  Hot water and cocoa packets are over there.  The girls won't pounce.  They learned better."  That got a few laughs but the lead officer hung up and handed the phone back.  "Let's talk, girls."  He gathered them together to talk.  "Tiff?"

"I'm good.  I'm protected.  Mary?"

"They agree I can visit to get to know them but I'm good where I am.  Gibbs said he'll be nearby to protect me."

"Good," Tiff agreed.  "It's important."

Rona grimaced.  "Mine's a bit weird but we're okay enough I guess.  We're going to take it slowly.  They wanted me to join them in therapy.  I said I was in Cleveland and being assigned overseas soon.  Did I get mine?"

"Wesley is putting up the list late next month," he said.  "So we can handle all the packing before the spring apocalypse."  The officers choked.  "In the US it's not looking too bad in most areas.  There's not many demons in DC that will want to uprise for more power.  You'll probably get to see most of it on CNN."

"That's good.  Thank you, ladies," the lead agent said.

"It's why we're born," Tiff quipped.  "Have fun with that.  I'll be back on base handling our weekly emergencies."

"What if some want to join you?" Gibbs asked.

"They can talk to us," John said.

"Have to be patrol cleared," Xander noted.  "Preferably with at least a turn through LA or Cleveland to make sure they can handle the stress in the field.  At least seventeen.  Graduated high school."  They all nodded.  "But he can come recruit for later people.  Abby likes it because he brings her boyfriend back with him."

"I dropped him off on base," John said with a smirk.

"Abby's got to be squealing instead of worrying," Mary said.  "That's nice.  She doesn't need to worry more."

Xander snorted.  "She's probably driving him nuts worrying," he told her. "Call."  She called and the others talked to her too.  Xander's phone rang.  "Talk to me."  He listened.  "Bad timing, Fred.  We found some more real families.  DC.  What's up?"  He nodded slowly as he listened.  "We can handle that.  Call Wes?"  She babbled.  "Thanks for the head's up, Fred.  Sure."  He hung up and texted John too.  That way he could be in from the beginning.  They all stared at him.  "Someone's trying to take out Connor to get to Angel.  He might be on base by the time we get back with Morgan and Crissy."

"She's nearly due," Mary said.  "We can get some belly patting in."

"If she lets you," Tiff said.

Mary grinned.  "I can do cute and adorable plus fuss over her."

"Some women get fussy over it," Gibbs told her.  "Ask first."

"Yes, Gibbs."  They gave her an odd look.  "He's my watcher."

"They want some really strong people as watchers," the secondary officer said.

"Comes with the job," Gibbs said.  He sipped his coffee.   She gave it a long look.  "No.  It'll stunt your growth."

"All slayers are short anyway," she pointed out, stealing it to add her cocoa and drink it that way.  He shook his head but got himself another cup of coffee.

Xander's phone rang.  "It's me."  He listened, making notes.  "Let me put you on with the cops, Dawn."  He handed it over.

The cop listened then made his own notes.  "How do we know?"  He grimaced at the answer.  "Are you sure?  Absolutely certain?"  He nodded. "We can do that.  Thank you, miss."  He hung up and stood up.  "We should take you with us in case they are former watchers she said.  You're an agent?"

"I'm DCIS Agent Harris as well," he agreed.  "Third-in-command there."

They both stared.  "I hate your agency," the secondary one said.

Xander grinned.  "We hear that a lot."  He stood up while finishing his cocoa.  "Girls, keep to bedtime.  Gibbs and John are in control until I get back."  He put his mug down and went to get his credentials and his gun.  Plus his jacket.  It was winter here too.  He walked out with them.  "Found her," he told the worried looking manager.  "Someone's in deep crap when I find them.  The girls are in for the night."  He got into the back of the unmarked car and watched where they were going.  He stared at the building.  "Condos?"  That got a nod.  "Okay."  He led the way up there, knocking on the apartment Dawn had found.  No answer.  "Do not make me break it open.  Watchers Council."  He heard movement.  "Fine, have it your way."  He kicked in the door.  "Also, Federal Agent."  He looked at the former watcher.  "Weren't you in jail?"

"Who are you to stop me?" he sneered.

"Second-in-command to Rupert.  Over the slayers' daily life and training."  The man backed away.  "Put the girl down.  Now."  He shook his head.  Xander pulled his gun.  "I'm a crack shot.  I won't hurt her and I can catch her before she hits the ground."

The man looked at the cops.  "Are you going to let him do that?"

"We're going to arrest you for kidnaping.  If he shoots you we'll get him for manslaughter."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks, guys."  He looked at him again.  "Well?  You are *not* with the new council."

"Rupert is destroying all that we built!" he yelled.

"Gee, thought that was the bringers."  He slid off the safety.  "You went to jail for kidnaping the last time.  You were saved from the bringers because you were in jail.  Rupert said you could not come back.  I don't know *who* told you do to this, but you're in deep shit with us."  He moved closer.  "Slayer.  Now.  The girls are all that's important in a watcher's life."  The guy handed her over, then tried to head for the window.  Xander looked at the child, smiling.  "Hi, Bren.  How are you?"  The baby cooed.  "Good girl.  Guys, want me to bring her back with us or are you going to send her back tonight?"

"We need to figure that out."

"Can we go back to the hotel suite?"  They nodded.  "Okay.  Let me do that and you guys come tell us.  We'll be a good future slayer for the older girls to coo over."

"I'll go with him," the secondary officer said.

"Good.  Do that.  We'll let you know."

Xander looked at him.  "If we have to, I'll go on the return to make sure she knows it wasn't us."

"That may be necessary."  He walked them out.  Xander nodded at a curious person peeking out.  "It's handled, ma'am.  Inappropriate custody issues."  They loaded them into the car.  Xander hitched in the car seat.  "You learned well."

"Had to.  We have a pregnant slayer."  He grinned.  "She's in LA."  He buckled himself in and called the base.  "It's Xander.  I have the baby.  She looks okay.  The guy was one who had been in jail for kidnaping and Giles told him off.  We're going back to the suite.  Please do.  And tell her that.  It wasn't one of us."  He smiled at her.  "She's fine.  We're going to let the other girls coo over her and get baby cuddling practice for Crissy's.  Sure, let me know."  He hung up.

"You do a lot," the lead agent said.

Xander grinned.  "In the early days I did a lot more then Daniel kept hiring to take over the little jobs I ended up taking on.  Starting with maintenance guys."  That got a laugh.  They got out at the hotel, him and the officer taking her up to the suite.  He kicked with a foot, letting John let them in.  "Found her."

"Aww, she's adorable!" Tiff cooed.

"None of those on base," John said.

"I know!  I did get the good birth control lectures."

"We got better ones," Rona said dryly.

"That's because some of the girls in Cleveland got crabs twice," Xander said with a smirk.

"They still can't date, Xander.  You were mean when you yelled at them."

"I about sewed them shut for it."  He sat down to let the girls hold her.

Mary looked and waved but didn't take her.  "You're adorable.  Some day you'll grow up into me.  But I'm not holding you.  I might get attached and Gibbs would mind."

"If you have one before you're married, yup."

She smiled at him.  "I'm not even ready to date yet."

"Setting down rules for the future," he said plainly.

"Good."

The cop's phone rang and he answered it, taking it into the next room.  He came back a minute later.  "They do want you in on the hand back, sir."

"Sure, I can do that.  Tomorrow or do we have a day?"

"Tomorrow."

"That's fine.  If she was mine I'd want her back as soon as possible."  He took the baby back.  "Is she going to stay with us tonight?"

"She can.  Our social worker agreed since she's a special circumstance."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."  He smiled.  "We'll be on the hotel."

"Of course.  We understand.  Want a couch?"

"That'd work.  Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem."  He looked at the girls.  "We can handle tomorrow?"  They nodded. "Good."

"I called Daniel already," Gibbs said.  "He said to use the DCIS jet.  Nothing's going on.  Still."

"That's not a bad sign," Xander said.  "It's not spring yet.  The bad slow downs are in the spring."  He looked over as the door was knocked on.  Rona went to get it and the baby bed.  "Thank you.  Tip him, someone?"  Gibbs did that from Xander's wallet.  "Thank you."  The guy nodded.  Xander put her down.  "There we go, Brenda."  The baby smiled and waved her feet.  "Good girl."  He rolled the crib into the bedroom Mary and Tiff were sharing.  "There we go.  You're both sound sleepers who snore."

"You have *no* idea," John complained.  Tiff swatted him.  "Never share a tent with her on missions."

Xander grinned.  "Only if I join your project."

"I'll die first," John promised.  Tiff got him again.  "Can you see him on our project?"

"No.  They'd all be scared of him and we'd never get anything done."

"Cute.  You can change diapers too," Xander quipped.

"Fine.  Makes sure I don't have any, ever."

***

Xander stepped into the private room at the airport, looking at the woman.  "He was sent to jail and fired about ten years ago for trying the same move.  When he got out, Giles refused to hire him back because of that.  We do *not* work like that."

"Who're you?" she asked, taking her child back.

"Xander Harris."  She stared at him.  "Second-in-command and DCIS.  I about shot him for this.  We don't play this way."

"What about Meredith?"

"Meredith?  The one from Indiana?"  She nodded.  "Where is... someone tried that?"

"Yeah.  Someone tried."

"No."  He called the base.  "Wes, someone needs to check the potential Meredith.  I heard the same sort of thing happened to her?"  He nodded.  Then he smiled.  "Who?"  He nodded again.  "Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "Wesley went to get her and Amanda last night.  They're fine.  Wes decided to vent some anger on the same sort of former watcher we wouldn't hire back.  They're in jail for kidnaping.  They're begging for mercy."

"Good."  She looked at him.  "Was she good?"

"She's fine.  She was with the slayers last night.  She slept through the night.  She was a good girl and cooed to wake up Tiff for morning PT.  She babbled for breakfast."

She gave him a hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Not a problem.  If it happens again, call us when you call the cops.  Call us for updates and pictures of birthday parties until she's older."

"We can do that," she agreed, giving him a better hug.  "Thank you."  She left.

Xander got back on the plane to go back to DC and the slayers who needed him.  Wesley could handle this with Dean's temper.

***

Xander walked into the meeting room.  "The former ones who also went to jail for the same thing are also very sorry they tried with a few other girls.  Wesley got to vent finally so it was a happy night when they went home."  He gave the girls a hug.  "Were we good?"

"They were fine," Gibbs promised.  He glanced at Tiff, John, and her parents.  Then at the other stressed out one.  Xander went to sit with the other one.  John had Tiff.  The other one was younger and about to lose her temper in a major way.  She leaned against his side while talking to her parents.

Tiff looked over then at John.  Then back at her parents.  "He's good at reading the other girls.  He helps train us."

"He's the one who brainwashes?" her mother asked.

"No.  Xander's the one who teaches us self defense, sword work, and a few other things.  Wesley likes to make us look like girly girls and John likes us to try to be girls now and then too.  He misses his boys being younger."

"He'll have grandkids some year soon," Xander called.

"Brenda's not that serious," Mary complained.

"Dean's nearly thirty.  Sam likes being settled down most of the time.  He'll have grandkids some year soon."

"Ooh.  Is that a vision?" Rona joked.

"No.  I've had a vision about his first granddaughter.  All you girls are a build up."  They all stared at him.  "It's sealed until it's needed.  There wasn't a time code.  All I know is Mary's not graduated yet."

"So within the next eight years.  Does he know?"  Gibbs asked.

"Dean knows there's a sealed letter about the first grandchild."

"Good."  They all went back to their talks.

The slayer against Xander cuddled in better.  Xander looked at the complaining people.  "Guys, ease off.  You're upsetting her."  They quit complaining.  She relaxed again and it was better.  They were not going to be taking her home but they wanted to come visit.  Xander gave them directions to the base.  It was copied by Gibbs for the other parents.  Tiff took her parents' copy back.  She got up and walked out with John following her.  Xander watched.  The other girls glanced.  He looked at the one against him, getting a nod.  He got up to follow her, finding her kicking the building.  "No one we said we get a happy ever after unless we make one for ourselves," he said as he walked closer.

"Wisdom from the hellmouth?" she snorted.

"Dean actually.  Now and then he'll come out with something wise that makes Sam give him funny looks.  His dad too."  He turned her around, making her look at him.  "You're safe.  You're liked and respected for who and what you are.  Yeah, it sucks for them, but they've got to accept you as you are, Tiff.  No one said you had to do all the changing or that you'll want to change."

She sighed, giving him a hug.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."  He patted her on the back and got free.  He wiped off her cheeks.  "If they can't see what a great girl you are, that's their loss.  They waited all this time and can't see you're a good, bright, special girl.  They need help.  More than you did when you snapped."

"They can only see the little one they used to have, not the grown up girl," John agreed.  "You're doing what you can but they won't take that step to meet you.  When they do, it'll be easier."

She nodded, looking at him. "Can we go back?"

"This weekend.  I'd hate to cut McKay's nookie short."

She nodded, taking his arm.  "We're going to the park."

"Go for it," Xander agreed.  "Be safe.  Jack said someone bombed his car the last time he was in town."

"Yes, Xander."

"I've got her back."

"Of course you do.  You be careful too."   He smiled, walking her off to let her talk it out.  Xander went back inside.  He stopped at her parents.  "She's taking a walk.  You do realize she's not four?"  They glared at him.  "Fine.  Whatever.  You can't keep upsetting her like that.  It's not good for her and if you actually gave a damn about her you'd see that.  You need to learn to accept her as she is.  She's nearly eighteen."  She stood up.  "Ask the shrink if you don't believe me."

"He's right," the psychologist said calmly.  "There's going to be some strife but you're nearly provoking her into an incident.  Which won't get her committed.  She has too many witnesses here."  He stood up.  "Mr. Harris?"  Xander nodded.  "Do you work in my field?"

"I'm like their big brother."

"Good to know."  He shook his hand.  "She'll be fine?"

"She was talking about going back to work early."

"That is one haven some people use to wear out their aggression."

"She's in a dangerous area.  Plus they have self defense practice and weapons practice.  She'll wear it out somehow."

"Good.  That's more healthy than some things."

"She's got a very supportive team and an older woman who's also a slayer to lean on."

"Even better.  It's clear the colonel was supportive."

"He's the head of the base's military and we put him in charge of her training while she's there.  He's gotten to know her pretty well."

"Good."  He went to talk to the uptight slayer across the room.

Xander looked at them.  "This is a meeting in the middle thing, not a cross to my side of the ocean one," he said quietly.  "Your daughter's grown up.  Yes, the last watcher did wrong.  Very wrong and I almost killed one last night for doing something similar because we don't allow it to happen at all.  If you try to get to know your daughter you'll find she's a great woman in the making.  She's a strong, opinionated woman but she's also caring and very good at helping others.  You need to see her as she is."

"She's not right in the head.  Your people ruined her!"

"I've only been hunting since I was sixteen and I'm a few years older than your daughter. All the people who did that are dead."  She went pale.  "Something that a slayer had to handle got them and killed them.  Nearly all of them.  Except about eighteen people.  They blew up a building with people in it.  Including her original records.  They killed half the slayers that could have been called.  They killed ones down to the infant level because they wanted to take out the threat.  And when they did, it sucked and a town fell in when we fought back.  Fortunately we saved ninety percent of the town.  Everyone who would evacuate.

"Then we had to deal with twelve of the last watchers who decided to cut down the number of slayers by making a building explode, trying to burn a building they were hiding in, all that.  And gee, they lost too.  Mostly they killed each other.  That's when I stepped in as a watcher to protect the remaining girls.  To train them, to take care of them.  To make sure they don't die from the duty they had no say in.  Unlike the older ones that got called, they didn't have a choice to make about being a slayer or not.  They will be until they're twenty- three.  Then they get to decide.  Yes, your daughter had some problems.  She handled it and got better because she wanted to.  You may have years to get to know your daughter or you could have days.  Because even those who aren't slayers can get hit with a car."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's reality.  Earlier today there were six people killed in a car crash on the same street this building is on.  I'm sure you saw the wreckage?"  They nodded. "What makes you think it can't happen to you or to her?  You're tossing away your chance.  Tiff is very high on the pride scale.  I know I sure as hell wouldn't throw away my own child just because she's not what you expect."  He walked off.  Rona stopped him to give him a hug.  "I'm fine."

"I'm sure you are.  It still sucks that you have to watch that."

He smiled.  "There's just as much chance that I'll die since hey, I'm the normal one."  He gave her a dry look, getting a grin back.  "Let go.  Talk to your 'rents.  They've got to be better than mine."  He went to get himself some coffee then went outside to see if he could find Tiff and John.

Gibbs walked out.  "Do you talk to them?"

"They refused to evacuate."  He looked at him.  "I have an uncle that tried to blackmail me during the dragon stuff.  I've made my own."

"You did good at it too.  All the girls were ready to skin them alive."  He moved closer.  "They needed to hear it but you were harsh, kid."

"The truth ain't pretty according what I've been told."

"True.  Then again, you could've used tact."

"It didn't work when Tiff tried it or when John tried it.  It was me or McKay."  He took another drink.  "When are we due back?"

"Two days.  If they want to come out and talk to the girls, their teachers, or the other girls they can do that."

Xander nodded.  "They can.  Are we going to be arguing over custody of any of them?"

"One.  She's not sure what she wants."

"Of course not.  This is tearing all them up and me to watch it."  He tossed away the paper cup, looking at him.  "Did you check on your house?"

"I did.  It's still standing and in good condition.  The people I have taking care of it are doing a good enough job."  He sipped his own coffee.  "Want to go back inside?"

"No."  He shrugged. "It's painful."

"It is," Gibbs agreed.  He clapped him on the back.  "Most of them are going to invite them back later tonight.  Tiff's parents I'm not sure about."

"She was talking about heading back to work."

"That might help her."  Gibbs headed back inside after slapping him lightly on the head.  The girls all stared at him.  "He's outside."  He sat down next to Mary, who snuggled into his side.  He looked at her.  She gave him a look.  "Want some air?"

"Please."  She got up.  "I'll be back."  She walked outside with him, looking at Xander.  "They're not nice."

Xander nodded.  "A lot are.  Some aren't.  They're in the minority.  Personally I think those of us with special duties and destinies get sucky private lives to keep us focused."  She gave him a hug.  "Not me.  The Powers said they don't pay any attention to me."

"Then they're dumb."  She let him go.  "When are we going back to school?"

"Two days," Gibbs told her.

"Good."  The rest of them came out.  "You didn't have to leave already."

"The parents got together last night to watch video of the invasion," Rona said.  "They're a bit freaked out so we're leaving it for the moment.  They'll come over tonight if they want to."  They nodded so Gibbs got them into the van they had rented.  Gibbs got in to drive.  Xander got shotgun.  They headed back.  John was watching Tiff pack.  "They watched the invasion together."

"Not mine," Tiff said dryly.

"Xander had a talk with yours."

Tiff looked at him.  "Have fun?"

"I had one of those reality talks."

She gave him an odd look.  "Okay," she said slowly.  She settled in and quit packing for now.  "Can we stay to see the fallout?"

John nodded.  "Sure.  The longer McKay gets access to Abby, the happier he'll be when we get back."

"Okay, we can do that then," Gibbs decided.  The girls decided to sit around and watch a movie off pay-per-view.  Xander had agreed to one movie a night.  Or it came out of their allowance.  Xander typed one of his confession reports to Daniel and it was nice enough to settle in until the parents got there.

***

John accepted the copy of the report from Daniel, looking it over.  "Tiff's family needed the reality speech?"

"Apparently."  Rodney looked over. "Her parents were having issues with the concept of slayers."

"Are they coming back soon?" he asked.

"No.  They said you needed more time."

Rodney smirked. "I'll get him back on base."  He looked at Abby, who beamed at him.  "The conference's materials are coming together nicely."

"If I could finish that one experiment I'd be a happier girl."

"You'd be a happier girl if you quit worrying," he chided gently.

"I can't help it.  They're going through trying times and they're like my little sisters.  I'm sure Sam would worry if she knew."

"That's why she brought Sheppard with her.  So she wouldn't smite them."

"I think Xander did it for him."

"Quite possibly."  He fed her a bite of dinner.  "Eat.  You need to eat.  Or else we'll pass out in the lab."

She beamed, digging in again, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.  "You take good care of me.  Otherwise I'd live on caf-pows."

He smiled.  "I live on coffee now and then.  Sugar others."  She fed him a bite, making him blush.  "Not in public.  We'll warp the girls."

"You're the only relationship we have around here to look at to see how to do it when it's our time," Anna said without having to look over.

"Many years from now," John noted.

"Well, yeah.  Not like I'm ready yet.  When I am, Dean and Sam can give me the talk because they did such a good job with the older girls."

Sam shrugged.  "Sure."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "We did a good job."

"Think of it as practice for when you give John grandkids," Brenda teased.

"Many years from now," John repeated.  "All three of you."

Brenda gave him a hug.  "Not like I'm planning on getting near a boy, John."

"Good!"  He smiled and patted her on the back.  "Some day I'll threaten a good boy for you."

"Of course you will."  She dug in again.  "It's quiet without Xander being here telling bad jokes."

"He'll be fine," Dean assured her.  "He said he pulled out a Dean-ism Wise Moment, trademark pending please, to help them."

"A wiseass comment?" Sam asked.  "Or one of the rare smart things you say?"

"One of the smart things."

"We've got to break that link," John muttered.

"Why?  I'm learning a lot about women if I ever wanted to be a lesbian," Dawn said dryly.  Dean groaned.  "Not from you, Dean.  You do boring things.  Sam, apple butter?"  He groaned, his face bright red as it hit the table.

"Good girls like you don't do things like that," John said firmly.  "I'll beat Sammy for stepping onto the dark side later."

"Does that mean that Dean doesn't need his mags anymore?" one of the older girls asked.  "Because we could use the inspiration."

"Only if you want spanked," John said firmly.

"Yes, John."  He went back to eating so she gave Dean a begging look.  She got a wink back.

"Apple butter?" Dean asked Sam.  "That's not a topping I'd expect, Sammy."  He clapped him on the back.  "Good job!"

"Dean!" John said.  "They are impressionable young women!  I doubt you want Brenda to do that?"

"Nah, she'll stay a virgin forever," he assured him with a happy grin.

"Not hardly," Brenda said.  "Some year I'll want a boy of my own.  Maybe two if I'm anything like my oldest brother," she teased.

"Twins are fun but I'd have to kill one and then make you marry the other," he said with a grin for her.  "Then pray for the grandchild fairy to visit."

She shuddered.  "You'd call down a wish demon?"

"Hell.  Yes."

"Meany."

"Yup," he beamed.  "No twins or other dirty girl things."

"He's the only dirty girl allowed in the family," Dawn teased.  Dean tried to swat her but she was across and down the table so he missed.  She cackled.  "Didn't you say something about triplets?"

"I am an impressionable girl; I don't need bad girl thoughts either," Abby complained.  "You're making Rod blush, guys."

"Sorry," Dean said.  "If they want to know, they can come ask in private."

"I can still spank you too, son."

"As you proved when you found his mags," Amber teased.

"I'm an adult," Dean shot back.  "If I want to buy Playboy, I can do that."

"It wasn't Playboy, Dean.  It wasn't even Hustler."

Dean shrugged.  "Sue me, I'm open minded."

"If we find zoo magazines in the collection, we'll know why," Dawn quipped.  John got her this time, making her yelp.  "Sorry."

"Thank you.  Eat, ladies."  They went back to eating so they could do homework.  They had to before they had free time.  On the nightly patrol, Dean slipped the girls some of his older mags.  John came behind him to confiscate what he could and then went to spank Dean again.  Because he clearly hadn't done it enough when his son was a teenager.

***

Xander stepped off the transport and went up to Daniel's office.  "Am I in trouble for my reality talk?"

"They called to complain.  We got the film of what you told them.  They have security cameras.  We went back over it with them.  They decided with their shrink that you were right.  They're going to start with email.  They did say you came on too strongly, which you did, but I pointed out they clearly needed the kick in the ass."

"I won't do it again, Danny," he said quietly.

"Xander, you're not in trouble.  I promise."  He smiled.  Xander still looked miserable.  "You're not going to lose them to their families."

"Most of them decided knowing a slayer was hard and they didn't want to come visit for a long time."

Daniel nodded.  "That's normal.  It's a human reaction."  He got up and came over to made Xander look at him.  "They'll be fine."

"How can you throw away a great kid?"

"I've never understood that."  Xander nodded.  "Why don't you talk to the base shrink about that?"

"Because I'm not like that."

"Then write it out, Xander.  You need to get over your own.  Before you become a parent and panic."

"I'm not going to have kids."

Daniel gave him a look.  "You can."

"I can't."  He stood up.  "Thanks, Danny."

"I don't mind if you come to confess to me.  It's nice to hear it from you instead of someone else."  He patted the boy on the head.  "You're not in trouble but next time tone it down.  You get into these preaching moods."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "It was, Xander.  It was a great sermon."

Xander shuddered. "I'm not a preacher."

"No but you're someone that others look up to."

"Or a politician.  Eww."

"Sorry.  Next time be easier on the speech making.  Or else someday they'll make you a head of the agency or our press person."

Xander shook his head.  "No thanks."

"I know.  I don't like it either.  Go find someone decent to talk to?  I'm good at languages, not people," he said at Xander's odd look.  "Especially about not having kids.  Someone has to follow in your footsteps."

"Willow said I took too much radiation from the hellmouth.  They're little moat monster swimmers."

"Have Chase check that, Xander.  Before some woman comes up and drops one off on you some day soon."

"Sure."  He went to find House.  He could talk to House.  House listened to him and understood some of his worries.  He walked into the infirmary.  "We're back and it's only mental injuries."

"That's good," Chase agreed.  He looked at Xander.  "He's in the gym."

Xander smiled, going to find House on the workout machines.  He settled across from him. "Danny said I laid a sermon on Tiff's parents."

"Did they deserve it?"

"Yeah.  They kept going 'there's no such thing as a slayer'."

"Wonderful."

"They called to complain but their shrink said I was right."  He leaned on the bars of the machine.  "Danny said I should verify what Willow told me about putting out swim team swimmers instead of normal ones."

House paused in his leg workout, staring at him.  "What?"

"She told me I took too much radiation from the hellmouth."

House slowly shook his head.  "Men make more every few days."

"She said mine are permanently deformed.  Daniel said I should check before I have a baby's momma show up."

"That we can do," House agreed.  "How did she know?"

"Spell."

"Did she maybe do the spell to make sure?"

"Don't know."

"We can check," House decided.  "What else happened?"

"I still can't understand how they could search for so long and then throw away their kids because they're slayers."

"They wanted their kids to stay the way they were when they were taken."  He went back to it.  "I know you can't get that since yours didn't care if you were alive but they're stuck in the moment they last had it."  He stopped his workout, leaning down to work on his sore, cramping thigh.  "They'll get over it with exposure."

"The girls were really upset."

"Of course they were.  It's normal to be emotional and swinging wildly.  We have a shrink on base who only hears complaints about you driving people nuts usually."  Xander snorted.  "I think at least one has."  He leaned forward.  "You made your own and it was better than it had been."

"And then the last battle happened and Buffy shot her mouth off."

"You created a better one with the girls.  They don't nag or do mean things to you."

"I guess."

"John's still like a dad to you too, Xander.  He even puts up with you when you feel like Cinderella because you don't think you fit in."

"Not really.  You're closer."

"Thanks."  He smiled.  "C'mon, let's get you to get off into a cup so I can check.  Then we'll talk about tying you off because your kids are scary.  They even scared McKay."

"That's not my fault."

"No it's not."  He grabbed his cane and levered himself up, Xander helping him.  "I overdid it."

"We all do sometimes.  I have plenty of times."  He followed him back, taking the cup into the bathroom.

"UTI again?" Chase asked.

"No.  Willow did a spell that told him he was infertile."

Chase frowned.  "They have one for that?"

"Not that Dawn'll do.  She has sense."  Xander came out.  "That was fast."

"Been a while," he said dryly.

"We're still pretty dead.  Go find one."  House took the cup over to a microscope, looking at the sample he had sucked onto a slide.  "What the hell?"

"Swim team stuff or radiation?"

"No, this is a spell, not radiation or mermaid taint.  There's no way this is naturally occurring."  He paged Dawn, letting her come in.  "Find all the spells on Xander please?"  She gave him an odd look.  "We think Willow leveled one to make him infertile."

"Um, yeah, knew that way back when."  Xander glared at her.  "Tara found it."  She looked at him.  "I have no idea how to remove it, Xander.  I can go look it up."

"Without Sam, please?" he begged.

"Sure.  Without Sam.  Then I'll find the rest and see how we cancel them.  I think some of your greatest hits of stupidity masquerading as heroism may be from another one."  He groaned, walking off shaking his head.  "How bad is it?"

"They don't come naturally with the deformities she caused."

Dawn looked in the microscope, then shook her head.  "I'd like to spank her sometimes."  She went to the library to look it up in their limited magical section.  Thomas, their librarian, gave her a pointed look.  "Someone did an infertility spell on someone else."

"Miss Rosenburg I suppose?"

"Yuppers.  Then she threatened to get nieces and nephews by knocking Xander up.  Oops."

"It's not that unexpected."  He found the book she'd need.  "Are we fixing it?"

"We are."

"Good."  He handed it over then walked off to let her research in peace.

Dawn sat down to find the section she needed and read it over.  Yes she would have to spank Willow sometime soon.  Leo appeared, giving her a pointed look.  "Willow did an infertility spell," she said quietly.  "Then threatened to knock him up."

Leo nodded.  "That's a bad thing.  When?"

"Way back when.  I'm looking up how to remove it."  He pointed at that book.  "Then I need to find the other ones to remove them."

"That could help."

"Is that why he has those bouts of low self esteem after doing something or why he's had action hero syndrome recently?"

"No, that's just Xander feeling like  he's been made into an agent like they made Eliza a lady in that one musical," he said, sitting beside her.  "You were thinking dark thoughts."

"Spanking her is a dark thought?"

"Punishing isn't your job."

"I know but sometimes I want to smack her so badly for the harm she caused."

"She's learning better now."

"She supposedly did that in Devon and then she did it again."

"All addicts can backslide, Dawn."

"I guess."  She looked at him.  "I'm sorry if you're disappointed in me but I've seen it personally.  Had it break my arm.  Had it wreck some of my life, Leo."

"I understand.  That's why I'm warning you that you're heading off the side of the path."

"Thank you."  She gave him a hug.  "Are we still on for this weekend?"

"We are as far as I know."  He grinned.  "Need more help?"

"How many spells should I find?"

"She never removed some from when she was dabbling."

"Is that why his sperm looked like two headed, three tailed monsters with tips that glow red?"

"Could be," he agreed.  He stood up.  "Call more often.  Phoebe worries about you."  He disappeared.

"I can do that."  She went to find the telling spell she'd need.  She found another book on the table and looked.  "Thomas, did you leave me a book by deSade?"

"No."  He came to look, sighing in displeasure.  "I do not know which demon does that. Apparently they think you can go evil."  He took it off for the agents to deal with.  "Something keeps handing anyone less than perfectly calm this book when they're in the library."

Calleigh took it with a grimace.  "That's not a good book."

"No, it's very rare but I fear it's either possessed or something evil is trying to recruit."  He walked off again.

Calleigh put it aside, putting her magic sensing necklace on top of it.  Nothing.  She took it to Sam.  "Can you do an exorcism?"

"I can but I can tell you it's a demon trying to recruit.  I tried it when it showed up to tempt me one day."  He grinned.  "They're getting picky."

"Of course they are.  They only want the best."  He laughed.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He took it outside and tossed it into the fire one of the guards had set up to do some document burning in.  "Love letters?"

"Divorce," he sighed, tossing in a picture.

"No wishes," he reminded him.

"I don't have any left.  She took those too."  Sam gave him a shoulder squeeze then went on.  "Why are we burning an ancient book?"

"Demons are trying to use it to recruit."

"Oh, okay."

"That was a first edition!" Thomas yelled from the doorway.

"It's that or I have to sic one of the younger slayers on the demon to confuse and annoy him back."

"Never mind," Thomas decided.  That was a fate worse than burning books in his mind.  He went back to the library and settled in to read.  Dawn went to find Xander to do the revealing spell.  It was nice how you could hear her swearing all the way from outside.

Sam looked then shook his head.  "I think Willow got him before she left."

"For many years before then," Thomas said wisely.  It was best to let Dawn vent then research.  Much safer for his books.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Never Wish A Wish of Xanders.

::Sighs::  totally not my fault.  Shadow, Nevrwill, Sere, and Kat are responsible for this one.  Really not my fault if it causes mental damages.  BTW, I was planning on putting this storyline into the regular DCIS, but...  It fit this one so much better.

"There's days I wish we could have more Xanders who fight demons so we can lean on him at the same time when we need to.  That way we don't have to deal with his grumpy and snarky days when the girls or visions have kept him up all night," Calleigh said to Mac.  "I mean earlier, I asked if there was a demonic jell-o creature.  He said yes, but it's split itself up so a piece of itself is in each hospital so it can reproduce by tainting more innocent jell-o, which is why he won't eat it unless it's made with holy water."

"Don't wish!" Ryan, Tony, Speed, and Don shouted.

"Never make a wish unless you're sure you're alone.  Didn't you learn about wish demons already?" Tony demanded.

She shrank down some.  "Yeah, we had that class.  It's just us in here."

"Wish demons can change shapes," Speed said, staring her down.  "If you doom us all, I'm spanking and leaving you tied up naked in the snow for Eric to save."

Daniel walked out of his office and into the bullpen area.  "I heard shouting about wishes.  What happened?"

"Calleigh just let loose a loaded wish about multiple Xanders who fight demons, boss," Tony said dryly.  "If they show up, I'm going on a drinking binge and I'm taking my team with me for their own mental protection.  The Winchesters can save everyone else."

Daniel looked at her.  "That's a bad wish, Calleigh.  Please?"

"There's no wish demon here," she defended.  Everyone stared at her.  "Unless someone's hiding something?"  They continued to stare at her.  "What?" she demanded.

"Someone go tell Sam.  Before they start showing up," Tony said, grabbing his gun and wallet from his desk.  "Daniel, I'm going on vacation with Gibbs, Abby, and McGee.  We'll be back if they don't show up or if there's an absolute need.  I may like saving the world but not even Xander himself can save the world if there's more than one of them."  He walked off to gather his team.

"It's like saying 'it can't get worse' during an apocalypse, Calleigh.  It can *always* get worse," Don Flack told her. "It's one of Xander's paranoid rules."

"But some of them don't apply.  I don't look hot with artillery," she defended.

"With more than one Xander on the plane, we may have to find out," Speed said dryly.  He looked at Daniel.  "Can I go get drunk too when they start to show up?  I'll hide with Tony so we're findable."

"No.  He can't hide either.  Someone pass around the warning in case someone heard.  Let's tell the city departments as well, just in case."  He walked off to take some tylenol and antacids.  He really did need them today.

House walked in a few minutes later.  "If I yell your name out, it's not in pleasure of doing your yearly physical.  Should you not show up, I will torture your asses."  He looked at his list.  "Scuito, Harris, Speedle, Flack, Messer, and Bonasera."  He looked up.  "The rest of you be in misery for not being in my glorious presence for at least another week."  He saw the horrified looks.  "I'm not that mean.  Today."

"Calleigh may have made a wish for multiple Xander's," Don said.

House stared.  "And we're just sitting here!  People, you're supposed to be saving the asses of the rest of us before they die in a flaming fart from the higher ups in the universe!  Get moving and stop this wish demon!"  They started to call around.  He went to find the Winchester clan.  They might be the only way to save all of them.  Daniel apparently already knew.  He could smell the Milk of Magnesia from the doorway.  "The proper dose is a teaspoon, Jackson.  Not the bottle!"  He stomped to the library first, then out to the slayer areas.  Fortunately they were drilling the older girls.  "Winchester!"  They all looked over and smirked.  "Don't even.  Calleigh just may have made a wish to create multiple Xander's."

"Shit," Dean said.

Faith looked scared and swallowed.  "And we'd have to deal with it?"

"Depends on what sort of Xander's we get," John said.  "If we get demonic ones, maybe."  She glared at him. "Not you personally.  I'll let one of the ones who doesn't like him do it."  He saw Tony stomping toward his car towing Gibbs by the wrist.  "What was the wish?" he called.  "So we know what sort of ammo to make!"

"Multiple demon fighting Xander's," he called back.  "We're going on vacation!"

"Sure, as long as Jackson agreed," House said.  "Check in regularly!"  He looked at John.  "If so, you may have to save us all this time."

"If we have to, we will," he promised.  The girls nodded too but some looked so clueless.  The ones who had been slayers before D'Hoffryn botched a wish looked uneasy.  "Anyone gets any slayer dreams or visions, we want to know ASAP, people."  They nodded.  "Pass that to the other slayers, Faith, now."  She ran off to do that.  The ones in school would get it as a text message to the principal.  He'd pass it on during a group meeting.  He looked at Dean and Sam.  "You two, make preparations."  They nodded, going to check the ammo and tranquilizer stores.  "House, there shouldn't be too much trauma that's not mental."

House nodded.  "You hope."  They shared a stare then John nodded.

"I hope," he agreed.

"I'll make sure we're stocked."  He went to deal with that.  He walked in and found Chase laughing with a nurse.  "Duquesne just made a wish for multiple demon fighting Xanders."  Chase stopped laughing to stare at him.  "Let's check the bandages, sedatives, and anti- psychotic stash before they start to appear."  He considered it.  "I'm also having a feeling about checking the herb stores.  I've been hanging out way too often with Xander since I'm going to follow it."  Chase nodded, moving to do that with the nurses while House went to make notes.  He had the feeling this was going to be bad.  Worse than bad maybe.  Multiple Xanders?  Oh, god, they might be doomed.  Not even Dean could get through to multiple Xanders being stubborn.

***

All across the mutliverses, a Xander looked up at the sky and said 'huh, that could be a problem'.  It was probably the worst sign in history of something bad and evil happening.

***

The Xander local to DCIS looked up and said, "huh, that could be a problem."  The people with him gave him an odd look.  "Sorry, head's up from the boss."  He looked at the prosecutor again.  "What was the question?"

"You're getting telepathic messages?" he sneered.

"No, but I am cursed with visions and this extraordinary 'just in case' feeling that's led to stopping six assaults on the DCIS base, twelve bombs, having artillery in Miami when things went to hell, saving my team when they would have been burned in the motel we were originally staying at in Miami, and a few other incidences, including a few classified ones," he said patiently.  The prosecutor gaped.  "I just got one of those but I have the feeling it's back at the base so can we hurry this up?  I think I need to get back there soon."

"Do we think it's an attack?" the judge asked.

"I'm not really sure.  I think it's a case but I don't know why it hit me that way."  He shrugged.  "I'll find out by the time I'm back there I'm sure."  He grinned at the prosecutor.  "What was the last question?"

"How did you know to bring artillery to the case in Miami?"

"There were noted as being someone ready to finish their ascension rituals about the same time.  We thought we had stopped them but I had the feeling we didn't fully stop it or it might be part of the case.  So I checked out our traveling portal system and brought it with enough artillery in case we had to protect the city from Cuba invading.  I always overplan the weapons.  Just in case.  I'm a bit paranoid about that."

The judge cleared her throat.  "And you're getting another one?"

"I don't think it's going to be artillery this time.  I think it's something like the invasion but not as bad.  Maybe."  He shook himself free of it.  "Can I be excused?"

"Go," the prosecutor said.  "Thank you for your time."

"Let me know when you need me back to cross-examine," he said, heading out at a near run.  The guard saw him and blanched.  "Call the airport for me.  I need the DCIS plane ready when I get there," he said as he jogged.  He opened his shirt, pulling out his keys.  The alarm went off so he winced but there was a cab.  He tossed the guard the keys.  "Have them send my bag back to the base please!"  He slid into the cab.  "Airport.  Federal Agent."  He pulled his ID. "Private terminal."

"DCIS?"

"We handled the invasion in LA."  The guy went pale and hurried off.  Xander overpaid him but that was fine.  He wanted him back where he needed to go.  Xander jogged up the stairs and shut the door.  "We ready?" he called, sitting down.  "I'm getting a just in case feeling and it's bad."

"I'll relay that back to our home tower so we can have gas waiting, Agent Harris."  He called the tower, getting the go ahead to taxi. On the way Xander called their home base.  He heard him and it didn't sound like he was happy with the way he was pacing and swearing in the back.  He radioed their home tower to have a gas truck waiting on them in case a team was getting ready to take off.  They needed it anyway but he had the feeling he'd be tired and switching off with his copilot soon.

***

John heard it through the open window.

"SHIT!"

"That was Jackson," John said.  "Someone call Jack, make sure it's all good on his end," he told one of the agents.  "Someone find out why Jackson just swore in English.  Usually he goes to another language."  They headed up to do that.

Horatio came jogging out.  "Xander had one of his feelings on the stand.  He thinks it's big, it's bad, and he's on his way back as fast as the plane can get him here."

"Not Dawn?"

"He said to tell her no magic, whatsoever.  At least until it's clear.  He said to call Paige and warn her too.  He thinks it might relate for some reason."

"Fuck," Dean said, reaching for the phone to do that.  "Phoebe, Dean Winchester.  Xander had one of his feelings, it's a bad thing.  He thinks it might be magic related.  He got off the stand and hurried back but didn't call Dawn.  Sent word not to have her do any magic.  Thanks, Phoebe."  He hung up and called the school.  "I need to get an urgent message to Dawn Summers.  It's no magic until further notice.  We think something's trying to pull another invasion and we're not sure why.  Thank you."  He hung up and looked at his father.  Then at Horatio.  "He have any idea?"

"Yeah, it's based on the wish," John said dryly.  He hung up.  "He didn't know there was a wish but when I told him it clicked and he said it is, we'll *need* them, and it's in the Southeast he thinks."  Horatio nodded, going to relay that.  "He also said it's big.  Get the special bullets and the colt out, Dean."  He went to get the special gear out.  John went back to making tranq darts.  They might need them if they had more than one Xander around.  At least for the girls.  Why couldn't Calleigh have wished for multiple Deans?  Or even Sammys?  They'd have done good with either of those and they probably wouldn't be the scary sort that would scar them mentally.

***

In rural Georgia, an older classic rock/country song by the Charlie Daniel's band was starting to be played out.  Little did they know.  A portal opened, looking like a rip in reality.  A handsome man walked through and stretched.  "Ah, it's a fine day to buy some souls."  He looked around and nodded.  "God's country," he said, looking pleased.  "Yes, this will do nicely."

***

The DCIS Xander shivered and called in the danger code he had to Jack.  "It's DCIS Agent Harris.  Is Jack O'Neill around?  He'll understand.  Just get his ass on the phone."  He waited.  "Jack, we have a bad thing.  I'm not sure it won't impact the stargate.  I don't care, Jack.  We're talking there's a needed wish to have multiple me's on this plane right now.  Beyond the headache, yes, Jack.  Because it has to do with magic.  What is it Sam and Rodney say about magic, Jack?"  He smirked at the 'it's technology we don't understand yet'.

"Exactly.  Monitor it carefully.  I don't know but if you get another me there, let me know.  Please.  Heading back to base.  I'll be there in an hour.  I think the Southeast.  I don't know why.  No, I think it's bad," he said honestly.  "I hope this time I'm wrong.  I didn't get this jumpy before the invasion or any of the base assaults, Jack."  He nodded at the words of wisdom.  "I have no clue.  We'll call in the higher ups when we have a fucking clue.  Just watch the round thing, please?  No magic, nothing like it on base."  He hung up and went back to pacing, calming himself down by force.  This was so not good.  That shiver had meant evil was around somewhere. He looked out the window.  "Where are we flying over?" he called into the cockpit.

"Atlanta about ten minutes ago, Harris."

"Thanks."  He went back to call Daniel.  "It's me.  I have no idea, Danny.  Danny, all I know is I'm feeling very strongly that no one should be doing magic.  That Jack should be guarding the gateway.  I had that during the invasion.  The magic thing I'm not sure about.  I know it's in the Southeast and I just got a shiver of dread right after we passed over Atlanta.  I did call him.  Because I'll be damned if I want them here, Danny.  He can monitor the sucker for strange output.   Because Sam and Rodney are probably right.  At some higher level, magic and technology have to crossover."  He stopped cold and shuddered.  "Oh, shit."

He looked out the window.  Then the other side.  "What's our coordinates?"  The pilot called them and he repeated them. "I have no idea.  Do you want me here or there?"  He nodded.  "Tony's where?" he joked.  "With that wish,  yeah I'd leave too.  I'm not sure all the other Xander's are sane.  Remember, you aren't sure how I'm sane sometimes," he said more gently.  "Sure.  I'm on my way back.  Thanks, Danny.  Pray like hell I'm being a giggling girl who faints."  He hung up and went back to pacing, trying to figure out what the feeling he had was.  He couldn't classify it.  It was almost euphoria.  It was also dread.  And it was evil.  There was evil coming.  Major evil.  Not demonic evil, but Demonic Evil.

This was so going to suck ass.

***

Dean spotted the flash first.  He walked over carefully.  "Hey," he said.  The guy stared at him, then squealed and pounced to hug.  "Get off, dude," he complained.

Xander pulled back.  "After all the times I've cooked for you and you're that mean to me?" he demanded.

"I'm not your Dean, Xander.  Unless our Xander here at DCIS grew his hair really fast."

That Xander stepped back to look at him.  "Huh, you're not an immie.  Wow."  He stared, head tipped to the side.  "What the hell?"

"No clue yet.  What's with hair?"

"I like it.  My boys like it."  He leered.  "They like it quite a lot."  He saw Horatio and nearly squealed but Dean shook his head.  He looked around.  "Damn it.  Horatio, did the mean demons take you this time too?  I'm going to have to gut them this time," he said as he stomped over.

"Noooo," he said calmly.  "Cute hair."

"Oh, shit, you're not mine either."

"No, I'm probably not," he agreed.  "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I just assumed another demon had taken me," he said with a small shrug.  "Not this time?"

"No, apparently not," he said.  "Okay, let's get you inside?"  Xander shrugged.  "Where are you staying?"

"With my Danny and Don, plus you and Tim now and then when you come over to spend the night in our house.  Sometimes the students or Eric and Ryan stay the night."

"Huh," Dean said.  "Dude, explain some of that?" Dean suggested.  "Students?  Multiple lovers?"

"I'm a GHS snuggle bunny."

"GHS?" he asked calmly.

A female appeared in a flash and looked around.  "Well, isn't this fucking great," she said dryly.  She looked at the one with the hair.  "I saw one of you recently.  How's Oz?"

Xander  pouted.  "Oz is still being tortured by being stuck in Sunnyhell.  Have we met?"

The woman walked over.  "I took care of a problem demon/immie problem challenge for a Xander that looks a lot like you but he was living in Sunnydale with Oz, Methos, and Ray."

"They live up the road from us in Miami.  It could've been an alternate universe of my splendid GHS self."

"Could be," she decided.  "Okay, since we've been displaced over the realms and I don't remember stopping at the crossover bar this time, is a god involved?"

"That's a good question but no.  I can't feel anything from my markings."

The female nodded.  "Okay.  Any idea why we got called?"

"Someone unwisely made a wish without realizing earlier," Dean said.  "That there be a few more Xanders who can fight demons around here.  Welcome to the DCIS base, guys."

"DCIS?" GHS Xander asked.

"Demon Criminal Investigative Services," Ryan said as he came out.  He stared at Xander.  "I stay over?"

"You're my backup in case I surge and wear out my keepers."

Ryan just nodded.  "I need a better explanation than that."

"You go explain that," the woman said.  She looked around.  "There's been a higher level of evil that appeared since I got here."  She was staring off to the east.  "Not nearby but somewhere."

"How can you tell and who are you?" Dean asked.

She smirked.  "Don't recognize me?"  She adjusted the choker.  "It's a gift from Janus to make up for where the Powers let Wesley send me to hell for nine months."  Dean gaped.  "I'm stuck in it because I'm pregnant."  She turned back and looked depressed.  "Morning sickness sucks ass but it's easier in this form.  I'm hoping it's not twins like last time."  She looked at Horatio.  "I remember running into you and telling you to not get near my daughter once," she said blandly.

"Why was I?" Horatio asked.

"You were trying to question her about the family."  She smirked, stepping closer. "If my kids should show up this time, do leave them alone."

"I'd never hurt a child."

"Yay you."  She shrugged.  "Do it anyway.  I *am* the overprotective mother bitch of the universes."

Horatio nodded.  "If at all possible but I would not harm a child.  Ever."

"Good to know."  She looked around then at Dean.  "That evil stink is growing."

"Okay, beyond being in hell, how can you tell?" Dean asked.  "Because I'm a hunter and this shit fascinates us and might be useful to the slayers."

She gave him an odd look.  "They're in Cleveland.  Buffy's been hogging them."

"Our Xander is second in command of the new Slayer's Council," Dean shot back.

She gaped.  "Really?"  Dean gave him a smug look and nodded.  "So we have ones in Europe and Africa?"

"We did, we're setting up formal houses in a few good locations for ease of traveling," John said as he came out.  "A female Xander?"

"It's the necklace he's wearing.  A gift from Janus after Wesley sent him to hell.  She's also pregnant so we might want to warn House and Chase."

"We can have you checked over to make sure you're healthy," John agreed.  "Um, do you go by another name?"

"Depends on what I'm doing.  Just plain Xander is fine."

"That's going to get confusing," the other Xander said.  "What's being pregnant like?"

"Three months of the flu, and after that you get cramps, kicked, shoved, have to pee, but it's great otherwise."  That Xander grinned.  "Okay, since it'll get confusing, the last time we did this, because I have *so* many interrealm frequent flyer miles at the moment, we picked a designation based on our lives so you added that to our names.  Or I go by Lavelle on the job.  Sylvia in female form."

"What do you do?" Ryan asked.

She smirked.  "Second gunman and assassin for Lupin the Third, master thief in my own right."  They all gaped.  "Formerly a consort in hell and now a prince in my own right since I've taken out at least six of the higher beings down there.  Holder of The Name."

John shivered.  "Oh, shit."

"And there's evil like you would not believe coming from that way," she said with a point.  "Not close.  Prince or princess level of evil."  She looked at John, then at Dean, then back at John.  "Hunters?  Demon hunters?"  He nodded.  "Slayers?"

"We're the training team.  Us and Xander.  Our Wesley stepped in to do good things.  He's never hurt our Xander."

She gave him an odd look.  "We're sure?"

"We'd have killed him if he had," John said, moving closer.  "Wes?"  He came out of the slayer's building.  "C'mere please?"  He walked over.  "This is Lavelle or Sylvia, depending on the mood I guess."

"You can stick with Sylvia since I'm in girl form."  She looked at him.  "You're not the puss drinking bastard, huh?"

"My father, no."  She stepped closer and laid a hand against the side of his head, chanting a quiet few words.  He stiffened then slowly shook his head.  She nodded.  "I would never," he breathed.  "That is anathema to all of us, Xander."

"Yet I'm proof you can."

He shuddered, breaking the bond.  "I would not.   Nothing is that dire.  I would rather send myself.  Even though our Xander would be the first to jump in and volunteer I could not even then."

She stared at him then nodded slowly.  "Good.  Is Buffy being a bitch and in charge by whining?"

"Lord no, ma... um, woman.  She's the most senior slayer but I'm in charge of patrol spots.  Xander's over all training duties.  Giles is rebuilding the council."  He stared at her.  "Why did you switch sides?"

"Jigen got me straightened out after I got back.  They gave more of a damn than the others did.  Now I'm a black knight."

"That makes sense in many ways."

"Say, how's your son Marcus?"

"I spawned?"

"The Council made you spawn."

"Sounds like them," John agreed.

"I ask because he's able to be possessed easily too.  You sent the spirit of an ancient demon warrior into him.  He's a kick ass samurai once Goemon trained him.  And me."

"Do you have any idea who his mother is?"  Xander nodded, writing it out for him.  "Ah.  Well, I do know she died in a car accident but we do have a barrister over there.  I'll have him look into it.  For now, can you help us?"

"I'd better.  Is the me from here in one of our realms?  Because I'm sure Ishi's pissed if he's in mine."

"He's on a plane heading back," Daniel said as he came outside.  "He said it's in the Southeast."  The female Xander pointed.  "We think it's in Southern Georgia or possibly Northern Florida.  Can you tell the distance?"

"Within the country, nothing else until I'm closer."

"Why summon you?" GHS Xander asked.

"Because I've got special ways of killing demons after being in hell for nine months," that Xander told him.  "Including some that put onto me by my keeper down there before I killed him."

"I'm glad keeper has a whole 'nother meaning for GHS."

She sniffed.  "Backed up, dear?"

"Usually," he sighed.  "They work too many hours and I never get laid."

"Take some of the herbs," Xander said firmly.

"I can if we have any."

"See House," Daniel said.  "Both of you."  They nodded, letting Dean walk them down there.  He looked at John.  "Xander called.  It may be somewhere near Atlanta."

"I know a few older guys down that way.  I'll call."  He went to find his phone book and do that.  Because all these extra Xanders were going to give him a headache.  One Xander could, three definitely would.  Wesley came in and sat on his bed, staring at him.  "What?"

"The me in Lavelle's realm was told that sacrificing Xander would lead to a cessation of a bigger threat.  I cannot believe that even a desperate version of me could do something so... so..."  He slumped.  "I can't find a word that bad."

John nodded.  "No one said that our selves over there are all good guys."

Wesley looked at him, looking devastated.  "I kept part of the portal open so we could watch," he said quietly.  "Every horrible, despicable thing that was done to him.  All the marks burned and carved onto his body.  All the radiation he took.  How the demon tortured him by whispering their lord's true name into his ear.  How he died twice."

John squeezed his shoulder.  "It wasn't you, Wesley.  It was not you.  You, the you here that you're concerned about, would *never* do that."

He nodded, swallowing the bile again.  "I don't know how to ask him, her, but I would like an account of the situation that led up to that.  It might become pertinent.  I'm not sure."

"I'll talk with her later.  See if she'll tell me what happened."  He stopped.  "Marks?"

"Some to kill.  Some to maim.  Some to call to a hellmouth."

"I'll talk to her later."  Wesley nodded.  "Remember, it wasn't you.   You're not a bastard here.  Your Xander isn't like that."

"No, he's not.  Nor does he have a cursed choker around his throat."  John shook his head.  "The Demere choker.  Janus gave it to him."  He shook himself.  "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not in the least.  I'm not the touchy-feely sort but I doubt either one of them want to be bothered by things that remind them of home.  The other one snarled at Giles' name."

"Oh, dear."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that's mild."  He finally found his phone book and settled in at his desk to call.  "Bobby, John Winchester.  Listen, we just had a head's up that something's going down in Georgia, possibly northern Florida.  Like major evil and someone granted a wish to have more powerful Xanders called here.  We have one that knows THE Name."  He smirked.  "Exactly.  Our Xander was freaking out and called it in.  He was in Miami at a coroner's hearing."  He nodded, making notes.  "Please, and pass it along.  We need to know the reason and any sightings immediately.  I'm here and I've got my cell.  You have the main number?"  He smirked.  "Thanks, man."  He hung up and looked at Wesley.  "Prep the girls.  Dean said Xander didn't get this wound up about the invasion."  He nodded going to get the girls to handle things.  "Remember, he said no magic."

"Blast!" Wesley called back.  "I'll conference."  He went to his office and called the major phone numbers.  "Giles, Connor, Angel and whoever, I need to speak to you all about something.  We think there's a major source of evil on the east coast, lower southern side.  Georgia or upper Florida.  Xander called it in.  We have multiple Xanders here after a wish earlier.  One of them was able to identify that there's a major evil, prince or higher of hell, on this realm.  No magic, our Xander said it could set it off."

Daniel leaned in.  "He called Jack to tell him to watch the project there too.  Just in case it backlashed.  Jack just called, another Xander appeared there.  Walked out of the gate."

"How?"

"No idea.  It was closed."  He grimaced.  "We're pretty sure it's either around Atlanta or moving into more rural Georgia.  We're not sure yet.  Atlanta doesn't have their own office set up yet.  They're planning on it for next year.  John's calling around.  If we need slayer support and can't use magic, how long will it take?"

Wesley listened to Giles.  "He said as soon as they can get on a plane and flight time."

Their Xander stomped in.  He hoped it was their Xander.  "They can portal down but I can't promise it won't bring more of the armies."  He looked at Daniel.  "We have a high mover or shaker.  Pure evil.  Of the soul sort.  I know it deals with souls by playing yes/no with my odd feeling.  I don't know why."

"We've got three new Xanders.  Two here, one with Jack.  Walked out of the shielded, not spinning gate."

Xander grimaced.  "Why?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "Jack's sending him and any others that appear."

"Calleigh's wish may have been prompted then."  He walked off, going to find the hims.  He found them in the infirmary.  "Guys?"  They stared at him.  "Souls, higher level, prince or higher.  Got any ideas?"

"It has to be a prince, a section head, or one of the bosses," Sylvia said.  "By the way, call me Sylvia in this form.  It'll be easier."

That Xander shook her hand.  Then he winced.  "Pregnant?"  She gave him a horrified look.  "We have a pregnant slayer in LA.  Now and then I get to baby her."

"I am.  I'm also an assassin and gunman."

"Good, work in the armory unless we need you."  She nodded at that.  "I'm not risking the child.  You can be an info source."

"Agreeable."  She straightened up.  "Who's going to ask about my marks?"

"I'd like to know," House said.

She looked at him.  "Nine months in hell."  She looked at him.  "Consort level."

"Fuckers," Xander muttered.  "If you feel comfy, tell John.  John's a good guy.  His family's hunted for a long time.  They just got rid of the one that killed his wife twenty-five years ago."

"Which one?"  Sam walked in and looked at her, leaning down to whisper in her ear and how they had done it.  "That'll work.  I might have to try that."  She smirked, patting him on the cheek.  "You're adorable."

"I'm Sam, John's younger son.  I teach the demonology lectures to the slayers if you'd like to help."

"I can do that."  She looked at the docs.  "Am I good?"

"No," House said.  "Clearly not."  She sniffled and hugged him for that.  "You also have a bullet still inside your leg and one in your lower back."

"I know."

"Your heartbeat's a bit off."

"Happens each time you travel this way.  Back in time or across realms.  Visiting the ancestors often gives me chest pains and headaches."

"Ancestors?" Sam asked.

"Goemon's ancestors.  We've ended up back in time with them a few times."

"Would you let me do a history?" Sam asked.  "It sounds like you've had a lot of experience and I'd like to know."

She stared at him.  "Some things you have to live through, Sam."

"The demon tainted me, killed my mother, and then my girlfriend to get me to be his chosen warrior."

She stared then nodded.  "That happens now and then.  I know that class of idiot."

"It left me with powers I have no idea how to control."

"Oh...oooh.  Okay.  That I can definitely help with.  We'll talk."  He grinned.  She smirked back.  "Aren't you so tempting to get little ol' me back to the light?" she teased.  "The kids would adore you.  They'd kidnap you for weeks."

"Dean would get mad and spank when he rescued me."

"Our kids seem to be able to get out of that."

"Not yours, me."  She cackled.  "He's a bit overprotective."

"Yes, I am," Dean  yelled from up the hall.  "Got another one, Doc."  He walked that Xander in.  He was younger, still around twenty or so.

"Hey," Sylvia said.

He stopped to stare at him.  "Curse of Willow?"

"Shape changing necklace from Janus.  It helps with the morning sickness."

"Wow."  He came over to look at her stomach then grinned.  "Can I?"  She shrugged and rolled her eyes.  "I won't if you don't want me to.  I understand about personal limits."

"Go ahead."

He stroked her stomach, smiling at her.  "I hope it's a healthy little mini Chaos god."

She cackled. "They all are."  She patted him on the cheek. "You're so young."

"We all are," Xander said.  She shook her head.  "Okay, we are."  She smirked.  "Can I get a sit rep please?" he asked calmly.

"Someone made a wish to have multiple demon fighting Xanders on hand since a huge ass evil just appeared somewhere in the southeast."

"Miami?" he asked, looking pained.

"No," Daniel said as he walked in.  "We're pretty sure it's in Georgia but moving."  The new Xander nodded at that, stiffening up.  At least until he saw Speed.

"Daddy!"  He ran and pounced, cuddling him.  "Did you get taken too?"

"Um, that one I want explained since I don't think I'm the Xander here's father."  He was going to try to stay calm.  He really was.  Because that was a thought that only someone evil could come up with.

That Xander looked up at him.  "Sorry."  He backed off.

Speed stopped him.  "Not a problem, kid.  I spent a year possessing Xander's mind.  I'm his dad?"

"That would explain a lot," Chase said.  A few of them glared at him so he smirked back.  "It would."

"It might," House said.  "Unless there's one where we're related," he shot back.  "The snark had to come from somewhere."

That Xander gave him a look then smirked.  "I get it naturally.  It's just that my Speed and Aiden saved my ass from my parents and adopted me."  He looked at Speed again.  "I'm sorry."

"Don't be.  It's natural to want to cling to one of your own when you're in a strange situation."  Xander grinned.  "So, what am I doing?  Did I die there?"

"Yup, but Aiden got sent to Sunnydale and found out what was going on so she prayed for help.  You're the help the Powers sent back."  They all groaned at that.  "Once we got you calmed down from the ranting fit, she told you what was going on in my life and you two adopted me.  The guys in New York and Miami didn't know until you had to send me away after graduation for my own safety - because the Powers said so - and I busted you with them.  That got you free of Sunnydale when Grandma Alexx stormed out there."

"Not even the Powers can stand up to Alexx," he agreed.  The boy grinned.  "And?  That the end?"

"No.  I ended up training as a dom, doing therapy with those who need it."  He saw the doc stiffen.  "You?"

"A few times, not for that need," he said quietly.  That got a nod.  "Are you seeing anyone wherever you are?"

"I'm in Miami.  Grandsire Raphael and Grandfather Patrick set me up in a house after mine got assaulted and burned with me in it.  I just talked my Horatio and Greg into moving in full time.  Well, full time when Greg's down from Vegas because Horatio can't give him a spot in the lab yet."

"Huh."  Speed nodded.  "Here I ended up being brought back after I possessed Xander for a bit.  A witch we have on base sneezed me up a new body."

"That's powerful."

"You'll meet Dawn later."

"Was it an accident, like a Willow accident?  Because gotta say she's had a few with Ryan and the babies."

"Babies?" Ryan squeaked from up the hall.

The younger Xander looked at him.  "In my world you married Willow."

"Huh.  Here she just got put into a big crystal to be a piece of artwork since she was playing what if with the universes," Speed said.  "Calm down, Wolfe."

"I'm trying!"  He took a calming breath.  Then a second.  "Okay, I'm calmer.  Am I good dad?  I always thought the OCD would make me a bad one."

"You're not bad.  We had to stop you compulsively cleaning the baby.  She's worn it down a bit over the last year and a bit.  You started really regimented and then got calmed down.  Ian's safe and happy, and my daughter and son love him like a strange cousin who comes over now and then."

Ryan grinned. "That's good to know.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  You and Willow are happy.  She even gave up magic for you.  Kinda."

Ryan nodded, becoming happier.  "That's cool."  He looked at the guy coming off the elevator, frowning.  "Hey, it's not just multiple Xanders.  Hi, me."

The other Ryan Wolfe stopped to stare at him.  "Explanation?"

"Huge level of evil creature and Calleigh made a wish for multiple demon fighting Xanders."

"Ah.  No wonder you pulled my version."  He looked at the Xander in the hall.  "Clearly not mine."

"If he's the one with the hair, he's in there," he said, pointing at the infirmary.

"Thanks."  He walked in and his Xander squealed, hugging him.  "Yes, Ares said I'm to come watch your back," he said, looking him over.  "You okay?"

"The me here is single and that's a me who's a bad guy but she's presently pregnant," he babbled happily.  "The other one does Dom stuff and thinks of Speed like a daddy."

Ryan nodded at them. Then he looked his Xander over.  He sighed.  Then he looked at the doctor.  "Is there a decent herb shop around here?"

"We have some on site because the witch on base sometimes does healing spells," Chase offered, pointing at the cabinet.  Ryan walked over to it, looking it over.  "She can help you find anything else."

"You have everything but one herb I need."  He pulled it down and wrote down the name and how much he'd need.   "It'll bring Xander out of backlog."

"Huh?" House asked.

"Oh, damn, there's no GHS here?" he asked.  They shook their heads.  "People with hyperactive hormones so bad it draws everyone around them to kidnap them?"

"No," House said.  "Sounds like something that could be cured."

Ryan shook his head.  "No, not really.  There's things that can lower it for a day or so but it's dangerous to use too often.  It can lead to death."  He looked at his Xander.  "We're fixing you for now."  He pouted but nodded.  "Is there a gym he can work out in?"  They pointed up the hall.  Ryan tossed over Xander's sword, letting him catch it.  "Go workout.  Come back when we're ready to hear a sit rep."  He went to do that.  The other Xander's gave him an odd look.

"The hormones are supposed to cloud their minds until they're confused, bouncy, sex kittens," Sylvia said.

Ryan nodded. "I take it you've met one?"

"A different version of yours actually.  He was with Oz, Methos, and Ray in Sunnydale.  Ares and Strife called me to help with a sitch."

"In ours he's with Don and Danny, in Miami, spoiling our lab horribly."

"Same reason for the sword?" she asked.  Ryan nodded.  "Good to know.  Your position in the team is....?"

"Chosen warrior of Ares, his most common rescuer, and buddy."

"That's pretty cool," the native Xander said.  He shook his head.  "Okay, we need to know what's going on.  Is this all of us?"

"No," Daniel said.

"We think there's at least one more," Ryan said.  "Ares thought he felt at least two more coming in."

That got a nod.  "Any idea which ones?" Daniel asked.

"A younger one, barely twenty, but more technical.  He wasn't sure why he thought that.  And a wizard of some sort."  She stiffened.  "There's a few of you?" he guessed.  "Mine has some skill."

The female Xander nodded.  "I met one once that was married to George Weasley.  The kids stole from Gringotts.  I was so proud."

Ryan smirked.  "You're with who?"

"I'm Lavelle.  Second gunman to Lupin the Third."

"Ohhhh," he said, drawing it out.  "I've seen that anime."

"I saved Jigen and he ended up taking me in as a student."

"Interesting.  And the chaos artifact I can feel giving me a tan?"

"Demere choker.  Present from Janus to make up for the Powers fucking their own side up by taking me out of the equation."  She rested her hand on her stomach.  Then she looked at Sam.  "Let's go over that history, Sam."  He nodded.  "I'm not sure if a tainted person will react to the marks or not."

"If so, Dean can help?"

"He was cute."

"He tries really hard," he teased, walking her off.  "We're going to the slayer's building."

"Sure," Daniel agreed.  "The other two should be here when?  Jack caught a flux on his gate."

"Within an hour of me landing or so Ares thought," Ryan said.  He heard a squeal and looked out there.  "Xander, leave the ... is that a unicorn petting you?"

"Yeah."

"That one doesn't have a virginity clause," House said.  "She's a malicorn named Binky."

"That's kinda cool."  He went to pet her.  "She is as soft as the one that showed up at the farm."  His Xander beamed.  "Go back to practice.  She can help you."  They bounced off together to play in the gym.  Ryan shook his head, going back to the infirmary.  "So what's the problem?"

"Huge evil," Chase said.

"Somewhere in the Southeast," Daniel added.  "We think Georgia."

John leaned in.  "A Xander just appeared, looking at the thing in his hand and said 'I thought portkey malfunctions only happened in Star Trek'."

"Bring him down so we can make sure he's all right," Chase ordered.  "Any others?"

"Jack called.  He has one there that asked what sort of computers they used."  He smirked.  "Sam?"

"With Lavelle going over what happened to her," Daniel said.  That got a nod and he went to see if he could help with that.

DCIS's Xander walked out there, looking at himself.  He looked so tired.  "Hey."  He looked up at him.  "Welcome to DCIS."

"How did I get here?"

"Someone made a wish for multiple demon fighting Xanders just about the same time a huge ass evil showed up."

"Someone brought back Voldemort again?"

"No.  Higher evil, like prince of hell evil."

"Shit.  And I thought Glory was bad," he muttered.

"It was but the First Evil was worse."

Xander stared at him.  "That's why I retired to raise Dawn."

"Good!"  He grinned. "We're mostly in the infirmary.  There's a few of us.  We're waiting on one more and some reports from the local area."

"What is this place?"

"Demon Criminal Investigative Services."

The new Xander shuddered.  "Wonderful.  I retired from burnout."

That Xander clapped him on the arm.  "We have one of us who's pregnant.  I don't think it matters."  That got a nod and they walked off, heading down there.  They could hear the Xander with the long hair squealing. "One of us has high hormones or something and he's squealing over one of the unicorns."  He walked him in.

"Uncle Greg?" that Xander asked, smiling.  "Good to know it wasn't just me."

Greg stared, choking, nearly falling onto the floor.  He had only been joking!  "No, he's the one from here," Chase said, helping House sit up to stop coughing.  "Sorry."

"No, that's okay.  I think we could use Uncle Greg.  He's great in Defense Against the Dark Arts.  Nearly majored in it instead of medicine."  He saw Speed.  "You're clearly not my big brother."  He shook his head.  "Shit.  My dad's not here either?"

"Just you from your world so far," Xander said.  "Sorry."

"That's okay."  He cast a calming charm on House. "Are you okay?"

He wiped his tearing eyes.  "I'm your uncle?"

"Yeah.  Grandma gave birth to you and Dad both.  As a matter of fact, Dad had two boys, and I adopted Dawn, but we just fixed you up with someone so you've got a baby's mommy too.  She's in DC, a little goth.  Gets you really well."

"I'm dating Abby?" he demanded, standing up.

"Yeah," he said cautiously.  "Is she in this world too?  Maybe you should try.  She makes you cackle in happy evilness."

"She's dating someone else."  He shook his head.  "I'm going to have a headache."

That Xander stopped him.  "Sorry.  Want a pain tonic?"

"No, I have vicodin for that."  That got a nod.  "Thanks, kid.  It's not you.  One Xander is enough to give headaches."

"Well, yeah," he said with an evil smirk.  "I learned it from you."

"I know you did."  He patted him on the shoulder and limped off to take something for his headache and then take a nap.  Maybe if he was lucky he'd miss the apocalypse too.  No, Chase would never let him miss it.

Chase grinned.  "Thank you.  He needed the headache."

"Not a problem, Doctor Wombat.  You did freak out badly at Hogwarts now and then."  He looked around then grinned at him.  "No ministry, right?"

"Here, Harry's a book," he said simply.

"Cool," he said with unholy glee.

One of the two Ryan's coughed.  "Do you have any Presley leaves?"

Xander patted himself down.  "No.  I don't have anything to make a potion.  Huh.  If we need me to, I am a potions master in my own right.  I had to teach myself but I'm not bad.  I'm alchemist quality."  They all stared.  He blushed.  "What?  Uncle Greg was pleased.  It saved my big brother's life when he was shot.  Even if the redheaded, pushy one keeps trying to find out how I did it."

Speed nodded so he could turn his mind away from being Xander's big brother in that world.  "That sounds like H."  He looked around.  "Okay, let's start with the basics.  DCIS Xander, find the problem going on.  Our Ryan, set up rooms."  He nodded, going to do that.  He looked at the other Ryan.  "I want you to protect yourself and your Xander.  If you're right and he's a target, he'll need it anyway."

"I usually do."

"Good.  Find some way for him to come off high squeal mode before all the slayers pounce?"

"All the....  Huh?"

"Here the First Evil happened and we had to activate all the slayers," DCIS Xander told him.

"Oooh."

"Teenage girls, and then Willow made a wish to let the ones that had aged out make a choice."

"Shit."

"Yeah, and your squealy one plus our teenage squealy ones...."

"Shopping trip?"

"Only if he pays for it," Xander said dryly.  He looked around.  "My desk is on three, in the bullpen area."  They all nodded. "Let me start calling contacts.  The female me can work in the infirmary or the armory, whichever she feels more comfy with so she's not going to endanger the child she's carrying.  Potions Xander, stay with my Speed for now.  Introduce yourself to Dawnie because she's our onsite witch.  When the others get in, tell them what's going on and find me when we're all here."  He went that way.

"Good," Speed said.  "That works."  He nodded. "This way for housing, guys."  They followed him to do that.  Then the ones that had assigned spots went back to them for now.

***

Sam looked at the pictures he had taken later on.  "Not the greatest," he told Lavelle.

"You got most of them, Sam."

"What about a wax casting?"

"They're scars.  They're not that big."

"Oh."

Horatio came in.  "Some types of cameras come up with a better resolution," he said.  "We can try one that does subdermal images."  Sam beamed.  "Or even an older style instead of a digital.  Either one might be more effective."  He looked at her.  "I'm used to taking forensic pictures but you can have one of the other CSI or even ME Woods do it for you if you want."

"I don't care."

"There's been an apartment made available," he said gently. "That way you can nap."

"I'm good."

"There's a caf too," Sam said.  "I should've thought, I'm sorry."

"I'll hit them both in a few.  It might be important."  They nodded and Sam let Horatio take the pictures this time.  The subdermal came out very well.  The regular film did too.  They both caught them all.  Plus something over her stomach. "That's a protection one."

"Good," Sam said.  "We don't want it hurt from this."

She smiled. "Thanks, Sam."  She patted him on the head and walked out.  Horatio led her to the caf, then back to her borrowed apartment.  She'd look over the armory after she took a nap.

***

The Xanders gathered together, except the local one who was trying to find out where they were needed.  "All right," Speed's son Xander said.  Everyone looked at him.  "Let's figure out some duties, guys.  Otherwise we'll all go for the same things."  They all nodded, shifting to look at him.  "What is the last major thing you handled?  Mine was graduation but I am a dom and I've taken the opportunity to up some of my artillery and crossbow skills."

Hacker Xander raised his hand.  "We handled the Initiative mess then I left again.  I'm also a hacker of medium quality."

Sylvia shrugged.  "I haven't handled traditional hunting for years except now and then for stress relief.  I do have some magic and all those handy marks on me however.  Plus I've got a lot of front line experience, no matter what the me here likes."

"He's worried about the baby," Hacker Xander pointed out.  "None of us would want to see anyone miscarry."

Sylvia looked at him.  "That's sweet but it's not practical in this case.  I have the most battle experience of any of you and other skills none of you have."

"Then you can back me up on the magic stuff," Magical Xander said.  "Can you link with me?  I can do some wandless but I got taught wanded magic by Giles."

"I can and I can do chaos magic as well," she told him.

He nodded.  "I think all of us lean toward chaos magic," he said dryly.  "I've got stuff brewing for bruises and minor injuries.  I won't have time to brew stuff like elixir of life.  I'd need to make a whole new stone since mine's locked in my lab at home.  Unless Uncle Greg decided to break in and check it over."

GHS Xander raised a hand slowly.  "I'm not powerful but I do have magic and I do lean towards chaotic and demonic magics.  The strongest I usually do is open a portal that's already been keyed into a place.  Like the one in my backyard."  They gave him an odd look.  "The hormones attract demons as often as people," he said sheepishly.  Ryan nodded at that.  He swatted him. "Quit."  He looked at them.  "I also can do a lot of very good swordwork and so can Ryan.  Beyond that, we're both immies."

Sylvia grinned.  "Yes, like on Highlander, guys."

"Then if we have to, you and Ryan can lead a section of slayers or agents?" New York Xander asked.  Xander nodded and so did Ryan.  "Good.  What was the last thing you handled, Magical Xander?"

"Glory," he said quietly.  "We won and I left with Dawn."

New York Xander nodded, getting that.  "I can feel the burnout we all carry after grad.  Yours just got to the overwhelming point?  Nothing like field flashbacks?"

"No.  I helped Harry with Voldemort recently."

"Glory?" Sylvia asked.

"Glorificus.  The Beauteous One.  Came after Dawn?"

"I remember we beat her," Sylvia agreed.  "So you left after the funerals?"  He nodded.  "Can you handle it?"

"If I must but I'm getting drunk later with Uncle Greg to make sure I don't get alcohol poisoning."

"Sure," she agreed, patting him on the back.  "We'll watch if you're here."  He grinned.  "What about the one here?"

"The First Evil mess," DCIS Xander said as he walked in.  "I'm also over training with the slayers.  I started out being the trainer until I hired Dean and Sam, then they brought their father."

"I saw one reality where you had done that and lost an eye," she told him.

He shuddered.  "I saw one of those too thanks to Willow."

"Were you furry?"

"No.  She was playing 'I wish' and made a bunch of alternate realms."  They all shuddered at that.  "Needless to say, the Watchers decided to try to weed down the number of slayers in this realm by force.  A few of those realms had that working for them."  They all gaped.  He nodded.  "The last major thing I handled outside of a demon gang war and some arms dealing ones?  The Invasion of LA.  Some of Wolfram and Hart's board opened a portal to a demon realm and kept it open.  Us, the slayers who were combat ready, and some of the National Guard when they got there handled it."

That got another mass shudder.  "How many of the girls are combat ready?" Sylvia asked.

Xander considered it.  "Cleared for patrol and over sixteen?  Twenty-five out of the original sixty some-odd. Ten of the new ones that Willow's last wish caused.  During the Invasion we only had about twenty.  Ones who're close enough if we need to call them?  Most of the rest but I don't want to call anyone under fourteen if we can help it.  If we have to, as a backup unit when others fall, but not the nine-year-old we have in training in LA, not the two youngest here who're eleven, or the ones who just turned twelve and thirteen."

They all nodded.  "That's a good idea," Sylvia said.  "The ones that the last wish activated?"

"Another fifteen out of the seventy.  Most of them are still in the basics lessons with John.  Some do have other training.  One's a cop, she's mostly trained, she's in with Dean.  We have one that's on a classified military project but I'm not sure we can get her since it'll take magic to get her here in time.  That's if we call most of the Cleveland girls and the ones in LA right now."

"Okay," she agreed.  "Can you make some plans?"

"I'm making mental ones.  We're narrowing it down to an exact location.  We have it down to a county and a half."  They all nodded.  "Come see the armory, guys.  You'll need it."  He walked them that way, letting them see the apocalypse locker and the guns they had after everyone had checked theirs out.  "Who has only artillery?"

"Unless we run into a mainframe, use me for that," Hacker Xander said.

"Okay.  This is how you use a portal system while it's in a carryable form."  He showed him how they had rigged it.  That got a nod.  "Think 'next' and it'll come up.  Think specific and if we have it, it'll show up."

"Like my neverending bags," GHS Xander said.

DCIS Xander grinned at him.  "Shopping trips?"

"Plus some realm traveling," he admitted.  "Go, we can handle this and if we can't, Sylvia can I'm sure."  He nodded, going back to his desk.  "I work *way* too hard here.  I clearly need spa time."  Ryan bopped him on the arm.  "I do!"

"I'm sure he'll get some eventually."  He looked at Sylvia, then at Hacker Xander.  "Let's load up so all we have to do is line up."  They nodded, getting what they'd need and want.  They all considered Xander's axe, but they left that for the local one.  It was special to all of them and they wouldn't take that from him.

***

Xander looked up from his phoning around at the message that got dropped onto his desk.  "Where's this from?"

"One of the hunters John knows," Don Flack said.

"Anyone closer than South Carolina?"

"No.  They think they have one in upper Florida but he can't reach her.  She's a merc so he's not sure why."

"Okay."  Xander looked at the note then called the only contact they had in the Atlanta PD again.  They'd met him on a case.  Well, Danny Messer had met him on a case.  The guy had been out of the office for hours and no one else wanted to talk to them down there.  "This is DCIS Agent Harris.  It looks like we're growing a situation in your neck of the states.  Somewhere.  Yeah, that's why you've had some of the demons fleeing the city.  I need a location and if anyone has any idea?"  He listened.  He frowned.

"Hell.  Any idea where in the state it is?"  He nodded, making notes.  "Okay.  Can you get word to the counties that way that they're having a problem like we'd deal with?  Have them call us directly so we know where we're heading?  We can head tonight.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to get the other Xander's.  "Okay, we know it is in rural Southern Georgia.  We know the demons in Atlanta are feeling it, they're fleeing in terror.  From vamps on up."  The slayers nodded.  "John, there was a call from a Coulter?"  He nodded.  "He's trying to get hold of a merc in upper Florida, no luck yet.  We need to get down there."

"The magic thing?" Dawn asked.

He looked at her.  "Dawn, exposing you is going to mean you're going to end up fighting."

Lavelle coughed.  "No magic.  He can feel it, track it, and come here.  We need you to protect the ones who're too young, Dawn."  She looked at Xander.  "On the other hand, I do know magic.  Potions Xander knows some magic."

Xander considered it.  "Can you do a transport portal?"

"I have used them but never opened them."

Dawn wrote down the spell for him, handing it over. "That's how the witches I know do it.  You can bring a few with you."

"Where do you want the slayers?" Faith asked.

"Here," Xander said, looking at her.  "This is highest level shit, Faith.  This is one who would've called the First Evil a pussy."

"Shit," she muttered.

"I want you guys here, listening for any other areas of activity.  This is a really good time for them to act up."

She nodded.  "Got it.  I'll call B and Connor."  She moved to do that.

Xander looked at the other hims.  Especially at Lavelle.  "Is there any chance this is one of the generals?  A prince?  A consort?"

She considered it.  "There's a chance but they don't usually come unless called.  Very few will come without being summoned up.  I could open a portal and ask but that would endanger the base."

"No, don't," John ordered.  He looked at them, then at Xander.  "What do you want us to do?"

"I want to hide under my bed," Xander said bluntly.  The other Xanders all nodded.  John slumped at that.  "Faith, keep the girls on call for us.  If we have to go into a full scale battle, port them in a bit away and come help."  She nodded.  "Oldest trained first.  Save the new older ones for right before the younger set."

"They'll jump in, X."

He shrugged.  "Those who would've qualified for the invasion, Faith.  I'm not risking someone who has a whole life ahead of her in a battle that she can't handle."

"That cuts us down to maybe thirty."

He nodded.  "If we have to, we can call on them.  I do not want the youngest involved."  They nodded.  "Shit!" he suddenly yelled.  "Daniel, is Sam Carter on planet or off!" he shouted.

"Off!" he called back a minute later.

"Does the portal generator work?" he asked the CSI gathered with them.

"For things, not people," Speed said quietly.  "Sorry, we can't figure that out yet."

Xander nodded.  "That's going to send up a huge ass flare," he said at Dawn's look.  "Not that we can't use the military."

The Xander who hacked held up a hand.  "Are we seriously thinking it'll be a war?  The war?"

"I think it'll be a battle," Lavelle said.  "They might see us and give up.  They might see me and give up.  I don't know."  She looked at Xander.  "Sam has a full copy of the marks."

"If I had the time I'd tattoo a few on," Xander assured her.  She nodded at that.  "We don't."  He looked around.  "Okay, let's make battle ranks.  John, you're taking my usual planning spot and relaying to me as the front lines general in this one."  He nodded.  "Get Tony and Gibbs back here.  Gibbs can help you."  He nodded, moving to call them.  They were only in town.  "Dawn, can you open a portal down in the jails?  Or use the shielding down there to cover you going to another more secure location?"

"I can open it down there.  There's a whole section that's in a subrealm."  She jogged off.  The guards gave her an odd look.  "I need the empty section.  I need to open a secure portal."  They nodded, leading her that way.  "Close me in for a few minutes once I get it started.  Check back every two.  Pray like hell that thing doesn't shut down."  They nodded and she moved to cast it before the generator closed her in.  She looked at the SGA team getting ready to go.  "We need Sam Carter ASAP for a slayer issue."

"Why?" Rodney demanded.

She looked at him.  "Because something higher decided to go play in Georgia.  It's being felt all the way up to Virginia by sensitive ones.  We're using *all* the girls who're battle ready.  She's leading a section."  They nodded, getting her.  Sam came armed.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem."  She stepped through and the portal closed.  The portal generator opened for them and they hurried out.  "How bad?"

"If this was a Fallen One, I'd be amused," Dawn said simply.  They hiked back up there.  "Sam, as ordered."

John and Gibbs looked at her.  "You can lead a section?"

"I can and have led a field team and battles."  She clipped on her battle harness.  "How bad?"  John handed her what they had.  "How do we kill it?"

"If we're lucky, the female Xander's marks may," John said calmly.  "Pick the slayers in the new group.  They're not fully trained.  You have eighteen that are in the final class or nearly there."  She nodded, going to get them.  "Gibbs, you're their Watcher.  Only handle that unit.  Xander's doing the rest of the battle and I'm his oversight."  He nodded, following Sam to get the girls.  They settled in to arm them in the armory then took them off.   John looked at his sons.  "Staying or going?"

"Going," Dean said, slapping a clip into his current gun.  "Of course."

"Sammy?"

"Going."  He looked at Dawn.  "Be safe and stay out of it?"

"I am if I can."  They nodded.

Xander came jogging out of the armory.  "He's buying souls.  He's got half a town's worth.  We have a location.  With pictures."  He looked at Dawn.  "It's too risky.  We can't let him track here."

"So we open one somewhere else and then there," she said simply.  "I can open one to stage in Cleveland and then down there."  The others nodded and they moved to do that, taking the troop carriers off base to move them from an open field.  The yard in Cleveland opened.  They hiked through.  "Be safe.  I want to have ice cream tonight in celebration, not out of misery!"  They nodded and Xander kissed her on the forehead. "You especially."

"Of course.  A unit of Xanders?  They're toast," he said with a smirk.  He walked through last.  He had on his tactical gear.  He looked at the agents.  He looked at the slayers.  He saw the boss.  "Jack, you and Daniel help and be the removal team.  You're both TVTR."  He looked at them.  "Listen up," he ordered.  They stared.  "We have a confirmed siting of something very high in Hell's hierarchy in a town in Georgia buying souls for shits and giggles.  It is high enough that it is sending psychics in Virginia into fits."  They all nodded.  "It is possible he will laugh and disappear.  We can only hope so.  If not, we're have a battle and there's no telling if we have a *battle* or if we have a regular battle.  It depends on what he calls up.  Slayers, you're under John's command.  Agents, you're under my field command.  Am I clear?  Daniel and Jack are over removing the injured and dead.  Jack or Tony lead if I fall."

They nodded.  "Good.  Sam, Dean, with the slayers.  Sam, I want you with Faith's unit.  Dean, with Buffy's.  She's the better fighter and so are you."  He nodded.  "Faith, if there's even a chance of sneaking in to get him, take it.  That's your call and your job."  She nodded at that.  "Are we ready?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Me either."  He turned.  Dawn opened the portal and they walked through into... well...  Southern Georgia in the middle of the day.  He took point and they moved.  A few of the residents gave him odd looks.  A police cruiser came screaming up.  Xander pulled his ID.  "Where is it?"

"On the farms," he said, looking at them.  "Shit, this is worse than LA was on tv," he muttered.

"Yes, it is with less demons," Xander agreed.  "How do we get there?"

"Go a mile into the woods, then across the creek," he said with a point.  They nodded, heading out.  He went to seal up the town.  He found the town's pastor.  "DCIS just showed up for that evil sucker who's buying people."

"Get everyone sheltered in the church, even those who aren't religious," he ordered.  "It's consecrated.  It might help protect them."  That got a nod and they went door to door to get who they could.  The minister was praying loudly for help from God.  He had to help those agents.

***

Xander found the right spot and waved them to break and watch for a second.

"Are you sure you won't mind?" he asked in a slick, smooth voice.  "After all, it might hurt."

"If you can stop it, I'll gladly take it."

"I have seven doses right here for you," he said, handing them over.  "All I need is a signature."

Faith moved her crew to the edges.  Sylvia was with them, getting an odd look but Sam nodded.  Gibbs moved his and Sam Carter's unit to the other edge.

Xander looked at the agents, then at John, who nodded.  He signaled Dean, who shot the demon before the guy could sign.

The demon screamed and turned to stare at them.  "You cannot defeat me!" he shouted.  "I know who you are! I felt your pitiful magic!"  He opened a portal and demons poured through. The unlucky guy got batted by one and died from it.  "They seek to stop me."

Xander stood up with Sylvia.  "Yeah, and?  It's kinda the calling.  That's what makes us good guys."  The demons all laughed.  "Your choice.  You can hike off.  It'll be a lot prettier in the end."

"Who are you to stop me?" he sneered.

"Xander.  Plain, old, ordinary Xander."  Compared to the others he was.

"Why should I listen to you when the Powers don't?"

"Because I'm the one that guards the slayers and their spirit.  We will take you down and get those people free.  It's what we knights do."

"Fat chance.  They are mine!"

"Yay," Sylvia said, taking off her jacket.  A few of the demons leered until they screamed while their eyes melted.  "By the way, dear, I do know your proper name."  He gaped, moving away.  "Your choice to do this the hard way."

"Take her!" he shouted.

"Pity," Xander said.  "Do it!"  They came out of cover and broke out to take the demons.  They were all gunning for Sylvia but that was fine.  The agents rushed in normal cop formation.  Xander took the lead, using the bullets Ryan had blessed as Ares' high priest.  It was working.  It was helping them die.  A few agents got hurt but the slayers were taking the worst of the injuries.  He saw Buffy go down and had to turn his attention away.  Jack or Daniel would get her up and out of the way.  He shot another shot but it didn't work.  So he pulled out his battle axe and went to it that way.  A battle yell and all that.  More demons fell but more came through the portal.  "Sylvia, close it!" he shouted.  She and Magical Xander worked on closing the portal, cutting off their reinforcements.  They were starting to win until he called those he now held sway over.  Technically living humans.

"Xander, the damned are coming!" John yelled.

"Shit!  Faith!  Humans incoming!"  That got passed around and the girls only wounded them.  The higher demons were having to appear on their own power and it was cutting down the ones coming to help.  Xander ducked as artillery went off over his shoulder.  He looked back at Hacker Xander, who shrugged a bit.  "Whatever works," he agreed.  "Get the bigger ones.  They're doing the most damage."  He nodded and focused on them.  They had given him a portal stuffed full of stuff.  Xander hadn't unloaded one of them after that huge bust.  Daniel knew.  ATF might know.  SWAT had known and they had given him knowing looks but had understood.

He saw a news copter be brought down by a demon and grimaced.   "And reporters, I'm blessed today and not by that other Ryan either," he said, cracking Don Flack up.  "Don't let me make an ass of myself on tv," he said, making another surge forward.  The demons weren't losing much ground for having so many losses.  He saw one get back up and nearly screamed in anger.  He was reanimating them.  "Someone get the bag!" he ordered over the radio.

He saw Faith's group try a feint that way but one of the girls got killed by a claw and they were held back when she was thrown back into them.  Sam's group got closer and they lost a few more girls.  "Regroup!" he said.  The girls fell back a step and then went forward again.  It was what they were called to do - to keep the major evil out of the world.  Faith got some of the artillery from one of the girls playing messenger.  She fired it at the demon, letting Sam Winchester's group get closer.  She was making a big, huge mess, but oh well.

Sam got the bag and ran off with it.  Sam Carter set it on fire with the zat she had.

The humans who had been damned were freed as their contracts were destroyed.  Half of them would still die.  They had been injured too badly or had been in bad shape before, plus the demons ran them over.

Xander made a move to the head guy and got blasted with magic for it.  He went to one knee then gritted his teeth.  "No worse than Willow did," he sneered.  "Can't be much of a Lord of Hell."  He threw a special grenade and it blasted him, a lot of the demons, and one slayer got thrown from the blast.  He caught his breath, leaning on Danny Messer for a second since he was panting hard.  "They're cleaned up or they're killed," he ordered.  "Unless they run like the bitches they are."

Sam carved something on his arm.  The demons screamed and died.  They stayed dead no matter how much their master tried as he was coming around.  Sylvia ended up shirtless but more of them died.  They got nearer to the big guy but he was crawling toward the portal.  Sylvia leaned down to spit something at him, making him scream in pain and start to smoke.  He made it through his portal.

The slayers standing cheered.

The agents cheered and hugged those who were still standing.

Xander, DCIS Xander, passed out.  He had won, that's all that mattered.

GHS Xander looked around then at Sylvia.  "Is that the end of it?"  She nodded.  "Check, Sylvia.  Is that the last of it?"

"Yes.  I think."  She looked at John, then at Daniel.  "Check for any other attempts?"

"Chicago," he said quietly.  They all stared at him.  "One of the demons opened another portal.  I'm sorry, ladies, it's another invasion."

Faith wiped the blood off her mouth.  "We're slayers, Danny.  How many?"

"Overrun.  It started twenty minutes ago.  Local PD is trying.  They managed to get the portal shut with a jet the National Guard had.  Jack got the call two minutes before he fell."

Faith looked at her girls.  Then at the other girls.  "Sam?"

"Exhausted," she admitted.

Faith nodded.  "Volunteer only, ladies.  Get the ones on base to meet those of us heading to Chicago."  They cheered and someone called while Dawn opened the portal and then the one to Chicago.  The army guys nearly fired but Faith held up a hand.  "You need slayers?"  They gaped.  "Ladies, let's get a sit rep.  Those who were just in Georgia, rest what you can, get a drink."  She looked at the guy with the most decorations.  "Senior Slayer Faith.  Where are they?"  He pulled a map over to show her.  She nodded, assigning girls with a squad of soldiers or cops.  Gibbs went with her.  She looked at him.  "I don't need a watcher."

"Bullshit.  You're injured and you're going to take on the worst ones.  You're like that.  That's why you assigned Brenda to your team.  None of my girls are here so I'm with you."

"Good point," she admitted.  "C'mon then."  They jogged off, going to find the major demon to deal with.

***

Back in Georgia, the military was helping them clean up the mess.  They had a better set of medics.  Daniel looked at Buffy as she was carried past.  "Is she okay?"

"Head injury, sir."

"Good.  The girls do have an accelerated healing but they're all exhausted.  Get in touch with our unit to get their records?"  The head doc nodded at him.  He winced when he saw Xander and Sylvia being carried.  Sam was arguing.  "John?"  John looked at Sam, who shrugged and walked off anyway.  Dean had went with the girls.  John and Sam went in the next wave once they were finished seeing who was still standing.  Daniel looked at them.  "Good luck."

"We'll need it," John agreed.  He and Sam headed through, Sam's arm bandaged now.  The new girls got assigned to the various sections.  "I'm going with Faith," John ordered.  "Sam?"

"Brenda's where?"

"With Faith."

"Where's Dean?"

"The last group of younger girls went together with him as backup," the Captain said.

"Where?"  He pointed at a section.  "I'm heading to them."  He went to get a ride from a cop.  John got one to where the girls and Gibbs were.  Sam found Dean in battle and fired on it with the special gun.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "They're cleaning up."  That got a nod.  "We lost ten slayers."  Dean slumped.  "Six of them the newly called ones."  He stepped in to help the injured one on their team.  "Go back."  She made whining noises but he stared her down.  She went back to be treated.  They moved forward.  This whole block had a lot of empty buildings.  A lot of homeless and drug addicts were staying here.

***

John caught up with the girls and looked at the one they had.  "I need the gun," he muttered.

"It's not the weapon, it's the intelligence behind it," Brenda reminded him.

"True, but sometimes you need something special," he pointed out.

She smirked.  "Special?"  She opened her pocket.  "I got the portal and crystal from the hacking Xander."  She opened it and walked in then came out to find them fighting with the demon.  "God, and they say demons are cute to try to tempt us.  You clearly missed out, dude!"  She fired off the RPG.  It exploded against the demon, making it laugh until it screamed from the holy water that had been loaded into it.  "Piss drinking bitch, let Faith go!"  Gibbs took the artillery over for her and she dove in to save her sister slayer.  She had John with her and she would win.  She would win with a broken collar bone, four broken ribs on one side, six on the other, a skull fracture, and a broken foot, but she won.  Gibbs helped by shooting another modified holy water missile at the demon while John got Faith out of the way.

"Do not pick up Dean's bad habits about picking on the demons," John complained as he worked on bandaging her.  "Unless he's dead, you cannot channel Dean.  It's not allowed, Brenda."  Gibbs got them ambulances for the girls and they went to hunt down the lesser things.

***

Daniel collapsed back in his borrowed seat when the president waved him down.  "We gave them a chance to run."

"I know you did.   Who did the field battle commands?"

"Xander."

"Jack was....?"

"Getting everyone out of the way when they were injured.  The townspeople who came to try to help got handled by him too.  The injured took more skill, sir.  He's handling the clean up and coverup as well."

"Good.  He's good at it."  He looked at him.  "The girls?"

"We lost some," he said seriously.  "Then they went to handle Chicago.  Please tell me there's not a third?"

"Not that I've heard."  Daniel nearly passed out in relief.  "You need a medic?"

"I'm only bruised and banged, sir.  Not seriously injured."  He yawned.  "Though I do agree with Jack.  I'm too old for this shit."

That got a small smile.  "I can understand that feeling."  He looked around.  "How many casualties?"

"He called the townspeople he had bought, sir.  They paid heavier than anyone but the slayers.  I lost three agents, twelve slayers here, and who knows how many there.  I'm waiting on a sit rep."

Jack leaned in.  "Gibbs and John called.  "They got the main sucker.  Only one more died and that was getting a child out of a building a demon set on fire.  Brenda and Faith are both seriously injured.  Sam too."

Daniel nodded.  "They'll heal?"

"We hope so.  John was in full daddy mode.  They're clear in Chicago.  The PD worked well to contain the suckers."

"Good job," he said quietly.  He stood up and swayed.  "We need to retreat to check on the injured."

"Dawn got House and Chase down here," Jack told him.  "You sit your ass back down, Danny."  He went to check on the others.

One of the newly called ones looked at Jack from where she was getting stitched.  "I can't believe I asked for this."

Jack nodded.  "Sometimes it's like this but not always.  It used to be one girl doing it all by herself with her watcher."

She shuddered.  "No thanks."  She sighed.  "The others?  I heard Buffy went down."

"She's not dead.  She's injured.  She's in a coma.  Faith's injured from the one in Chicago.  Brenda's injured from the one in Chicago."

"I'm never going to complain about endurance work again," Annabelle said from her bed.

"How in the frilly heck did you get here?" Jack demanded.

She looked at him.  "I'm a slayer too, even if I am young.  There were plenty of slayers called at my age who fought and died.  I decided I'd be one of them if I had to.  Jump off my case.  I'll take it from Xander or John but not from you, Jack."

"Expect them to scream and rant."

She shrugged.  "Oh well.  It's what a slayer does and who a slayer is."  He walked off moaning in misery.  "Speaking of, can I hear when Xander wakes up so I can get a head start?" she called.  A few of the girls laughed.

"Grounded!" Sam Winchester yelled as he walked through the portal.  "I swear to God, Annabelle, I'm going to tan your ass like Dad would if he wasn't hovering over Brenda!"

"Ease off," Dean ordered calmly.  "She made the choice to be here.  She's a slayer.  She's pretty well trained, as trained as the girls in the older group were.  She's still got to justify herself to Xander and Dad, but she's made her choice."  Sam glared at him.  "I was hunting at her age.  You were hunting at her age," he said more quietly.

"Not for something like this."

"No, not for something like this.  Which is why she's got to justify herself to Xander and Wesley after Dad."  That got a moan from the younger slayer.  They both looked at her.  "Tough.  Stick up for your choice, but you're still not going on patrol until you're at least sixteen."

"That's fine.  Unless it's an all out emergency like today, I'm good with that decision and order," she promised quickly.  "Today we needed me."

"We did," Dean said.  "Doesn't mean you're not grounded."  She shrugged then hissed.  "Uh-huh."  He gave her a hug.  "It'll be fine.  We'll all heal as long as we're alive."

"How's Faith and Brenda?" she demanded.

Sam sighed, sitting on the foot of her cot.  The others were staring.  "Faith took on the higher demon that opened the portal in Chicago to give Brenda time to grab some artillery from the portal.  It worked but she's got some serious injuries.  We were halfway across the city but I know she and Brenda both went into surgery.  Brenda got the demon with the artillery then beat the demon to get Faith free.  Dad taught Gibbs some new swears he hadn't heard in the Marines."  They all shuddered.  "They're slayers so they'll heal."  That got a nod.  "How's Xander?"

"They won't tell us," Anna said.

"Bet me," Dean said, heading that way.  An MP tried to get in his way.  "I'd move.  I just got out of a battle.  Xander is like a member of the family."

"I have permission to treat if Dawn's not on site," Sam said, coming over to stare him down.  "Move.  Now."  He didn't.  Dean got him and Sam walked past him while Dean finished putting his unconscious body next to the doorway.  "I have medical authorization for Xander Harris if Dawn Summers isn't here.  How is he?"

"Unconscious.  What happened to the MP?" the nurse demanded.

"Nerve jab," Dean said as he came in.  He looked around the most seriously injured tents.  "Sylvia?"

"I'm good.  They're fussy."

"Good.  Let the girls fuss over you and the baby."  She grimaced but went to do that.  He looked at the other slayers.  He sighed at one.  "She had some promise."

"She'll heal," the nurse told him.  "Who're you two?"

"Dean and Sam Winchester.  We're part of the training team for the slayers and agents."

"She held on for a long time, boys.  She did good and it speaks well of your training."

"Still sucks ass," Dean told her, staring her down.

"Any good commander should feel like that," Jack said from beside Sam's bed.  "Xander's got a lot of internal bleeding.  House took him personally into surgery because of some of his reactions.  He and Chase have him."  They nodded at that, coming over to help him.  "Chicago's clear?"

"As far as we can tell, yeah."

"Good.  Thank you."

"Not an issue.  It's what we do," Dean reminded him.  They looked at the closed off temporary surgical area.  "No hospitals nearby?"

"Not that close," Jack said.  He looked at them.  "Danny's making a report to hysterical people."  They nodded, heading to do that.  "Remember, Xander's tough," he called after them.

"So is marble but statues break," Dean said more quietly.  That got a nod and they left the tent area.  Daniel was dealing with hysterical townspeople.  "Sammy, find a way to not dig up this field?"

"I'm calling," he said, moving to call a contact they knew.  "Ellen, Sam Winchester.  I know, I was at both.  The field in Georgia.  Any way to bless it?  Please."  She conferenced in some of their best researchers.  "It's been asked about the field in Georgia.  Is there a way to consecrate it again?"  He made notes from what they said.  "It's Sam actually," he said.  "Dad's with two of the slayers who got injured taking on the higher demon who opened the portal in Chicago.  Because we were in Georgia handling the top minion in hell buying souls," he said bluntly when they asked why the girls weren't there.  "It kinda turned into an epic battle for the Light versus Dark war."

Dean took the phone.  "Stupid questions later, people.  We freed the ones who made deals by destroying the contracts.  Yeah, before he fully enacted them, Bobby."  He rubbed his head while he listened.  "Half a farm."  He nodded.  "What do we do with it?  It's the bible belt.  I think we can get a lot of ministers."  He listened, making new notes to go along with Sam's.  "We can suggest it then check with holy water and hellhounds.  Thanks."  He hung up and walked out to hand Daniel the notes.  "The best our kind could come up with."

Daniel looked then nodded.  "That's what Wes and Thomas said too."  He handed it to the minister on hand to counsel people.  "The best we can come up with.  Either that or dig it up and send it into the sun."

He nodded.  "We'll see what we can do.  Can we test?"

"We can.  There's lesser demons who are pretty neutral, and those who lean toward good but they look funny so they're classified as demons, who can tell," Dean told him.  The minister looked startled.  "Quite a few species of demons are harmless.  They don't want to do more than live their lives and support their families."

"Less than thirty percent of the demons are classified as evil," Sam said.  "Most of those are like earlier, hell born as opposed to alternate reality or plane born.  The most evil the slayers have always taken care of but a lot of the other sort hide in plain sight, have jobs, families, all that."  The minister nodded.  "Some are bad but not all.  As a matter of fact, every harmless or neutral demon on this coast went for a run when the one here earlier showed up."

"Shit, was it only four hours ago?" the Sheriff muttered.  He checked his watch.  "It was."

"We heard from Xander on the way back from Florida," Daniel told him.  He checked his watch.  "He got the feeling about seven ago."  He looked at him. "It took time to get things, get accounts.  He spent some time picking people to approach. The battle ended two hours ago though."

The sheriff nodded.  "Thank you guys for knowing about the strange crap."

"Not a problem," Daniel said.  "That's what we do."  He stood up.  The military commander for the local unit came forward.  "How many of my people can travel right now?"

"About sixty percent."

"Let me get them moving.  I'm going to assign a team to Chicago to make sure everything's cleaned up and one here to take statements and things."

"Any precautions for the bodies?"

Sam and Dean looked at each other then nodded.  Dean coughed.  "Salting and burning the corpse greatly reduces the risk of them coming back later to haunt anyone," Sam said.  "If they're going to haunt, they'll haunt here instead of their families in the majority of cases.  Some might want to watch over their families."  That got a nod.  "That's how people who hunt demons do our own and how we banish spirits who're being a pain."

The Sheriff nodded.  "I can see that being done here."

"As religious traditions allow," Dean added. "Sometimes it makes them madder than hell if their usual rites aren't followed."

"We're all pretty well Christian so it'll be fine," the minister said.  "What about the land?  How long before we bless it?"

"As soon as the last body's gone, start," Sam said.  "Burning the demons may turn them into ashes.  Some won't burn."

"Those Jack's handling," Daniel told him.  "All the remains."  They nodded.  "He has a contact with NASA who can make sure they're sent into a capsule aimed at the sun."  They nodded at that.  "Let us fade into the night so healing can start?" he asked the Sheriff, who nodded.  "Let me check in with the boss, guys."

"Dawn's fragged," Dean offered.  "The portal back from Chicago was wobbly."

"Looks like we're flying," Daniel said.  "Did GHS Xander and his Ryan really lead the protection in Chicago?"

"With some of the younger girls," Dean agreed.  "Some of the cops too."  He smirked.  "Some tall, buff guy in leather already got them home."  That got a nod.

"He said something about saving us from squealing Xander and slayers on a shopping trip," Sam added.

"That's almost an evil thought," the president said as he came back with Jack.  "We're going home?"  Daniel nodded.  "The injured?"

"Can go to the local hospital as soon as they can get them moved.  The same as the ones in Chicago are."  That got a nod from everyone.  "It'll be easier on the people to heal without the whole group here.  I am assigning a team.  DiNozzo?"  He leaned into the room.  "Since you tried to run from the multiple Xanders, your team stays here.  Set Mac's team on Chicago to handle any further clean up and to close the situation."  He nodded and went to order that to be done.  He looked at them.  "It's time to mourn and heal, sirs.  Permission?"

"Granted," the president agreed.  "I'd like to thank the girls later."

"They're mostly in the next room, sir," Dean said.  "Chicago's clear."  That got a nod and he went to talk to the slayers and thank them for helping with this situation.   He looked at Daniel.  "Get us a plane?"

"Going to," he said, going to make arrangements.

The two trainers waited for the president to get done then herded the girls to the planes with the agents.  A lot of them would be sitting and staring at each other with ice cream later.  They hadn't really lost any slayers since the great calling.  It was a bad wakeup for some of them.

***

Xander blinked at the blur above him.  "Chase?"  He nodded, letting him have some water. "What happened?"

"You got hit with a high blast of magic," he said quietly.  "Fortunately we had those little surgical robots you and Dean made.  They made a lot of difference helping you and others."  He smoothed over Xander's head.  "Sleep, Xander.  Try to go back to sleep."

"Who?"

"A few.  Not that many and their funerals were last week.  You've been out because of the head injury."  Xander blinked at him.  "We'll talk when you wake up for real.  Go back to sleep."  Xander shook his head but he wasn't able to fight the drugs House had injected in his IV on his other side.  Chase looked at him.  "How much longer?"

"Two days should finish his internal healing."  He looked at him. "Buffy's still in a coma but healing."

"The other Xanders all got home?"  House nodded.  "Good.  It was strange that she wished that."

"Sometimes a higher wish demon will nudge a wish if they know they need it," Speed said as he walked in.  "The girls want to come see him."

"He just woke up but we put him back under.  In small groups of two or less for the next few days."  Speed nodded at that.  "Buffy, Faith, and Brenda too."  That got another nod.  "How is everyone else doing?"

"They're thinking hard.  Some of the girls didn't realize they could die from it; even if they knew, it wasn't personal before now."

House nodded.  "That seems to be the way it goes," Chase agreed.  "Every teenager believes they're immortal unless they've been faced with their mortality."  He looked Xander over.  "Let me shoo Gibbs and John off."  He went to do that.  "Guys, your mandatory shower and rest time has come again.  Shoo before House admits you for the night."

"Brenda's trying to wake up."

"I'm sure she'll be up soon but if she saw how you look right now, she'd complain that  you're not taking care of yourself."

"I don't give a damn, Chase," he said bluntly.

Gibbs looked over.  "Where is Wesley?"

"Dealing with the last of the burials."  That got a nod.  "He'll be back tonight."

"Then I'll give up my spot when he gets back," Gibbs said.  They heard the sigh and shrugged.  "How's the kid?"

"He's healing.  We'll let him wake up fully in two days."   He checked both girls over.  They were the most serious injuries that had been sustained.  Buffy being in a coma was a bad one but she had only been banged on the head.  The other three looked like they had been in a battle.  He straightened up to make notes.  "Brenda won't wake up for an hour, John.  Go get something to eat and a shower.  Now.  That way you're better when she wakes up."

"When she does," he said stubbornly.  "I didn't abandon my boys when they were in the hospital, I'm not leaving her side either."

House leaned in.  "John, Gibbs, don't make me sedate you and have the girls carry you off again.  They had too much fun last time."

John gave him a look that made most evil men run.  "You ever do that again and I'm going to let the boys deal with you while I cackle pleasingly."

House shrugged.  "What can they do?  Pout?  Prank me?"  He snorted.  "Please!  I've done worse to stupid residents who thought they were better than me because of my thigh."  He looked at the clock.  "Ten minutes or else," he warned.  He went to check on Buffy.  She was still out.  Angel was visiting.  "We have no idea why she's still out."

Angel nodded. "She'll wake up when she's ready.  She's not exactly a morning person."

House nodded.  "Let us know if there's a change."  He walked off, going to make notes in their charts.  He saw Mary lean in.  "Get your Watcher and make him eat and shower."

"Wesley just pulled in so he can do that."  She let Wesley in with a point in the right direction, following to drag her watcher off.

"How is she?"

"Still down but she's back to the REM stage of sleeping so she could wake up anytime," Gibbs said, getting up so he could have the chair.  He looked at his slayer.  "What?"

She walked off, dragging her with him.  "You have to eat.  I don't have a watcher if you die from starvation, Gibbs."  He snorted.  She glared, hands on her hips, one foot tapping.  "I don't.  Therefore you have to eat and shower and do all that human stuff so you don't look like some grungy excuse for a mudman."  She walked off, dragging him by the wrist again.  "We can eat with you so you don't have to eat alone."

"I'm fine, Mary.  I had a snack two hours ago."

"Bullsnot.  You made John eat it."  He laughed at that.  "You did.  I know you did.  He had the cracker's crumbs on his shirt."  She walked him into the caf and put him down in front of the ready plates.  Then she sat beside him to eat with him.  She smiled at him and he smirked back.  "I'm a good girl most of the time but it is a slayer's job to take care of her watcher.  Faith said so."

"I'm sure she's right but I can take care of you and her sometimes."

"So?  Still not right.  The same as Brenda will wake up and fuss over John for being scruffy and dirty, you need it too.  Don't make us tie you down and shave you again."  She ate a bite with a smug look.

"Try it.  Watch me spank like I did Abby."

She shrugged.  "And?"  She smirked more evilly.  "Rodney's coming down."

"Wonderful.  Abby deserves to be happy."

"She does.  He does too even if he is scared of the unicorns."  She ate another bite and waved her fork so he dug in again, shaking his head.  When he was done she escorted him back to his apartment and gave him orders to shower and sleep, then come find her later to check her homework if he got up before seven.  Gibbs shook his head but it was nice to have someone fuss over him.  He went to shower and change into pajamas.  He decided he was tired.  He laid down intending to read and barely made a page before falling asleep. His girl had been right.

***

John looked down as Brenda moaned, giving her a look.  "Brenda, don't make those sort of noises at me," he complained lightly.  She squeezed his hand.  "C'mon, baby girl.  Wake up and glare at me for waking you up.  Just like I get most mornings."

Brenda's eyes fluttered a few times but she managed to keep them open.  "Go shower, John.  You need a shower."  He smiled.  "Chase must be throwing fits.  He's picking up Ryan's OCD."  She yawned.  "What's wrong?"

"You got your butt kicked, young lady."

"Am I okay?"

"Now.  It was for a good reason.  You saved Faith."  She smiled and drifted off, going back to sleep.  He sighed, leaning on her bed's railing.

Dawn and Sam walked in, hauling him up.  "Go shower, shit, and shave, John.  We can watch over Brenda for you."  She gave him a nudge.  "Go.  Shoo.  Now."  Sam sat down in the chair and she perched herself on the foot of Brenda's bed after a look over at Buffy.  "Now.  Before I call in the other girls.  Anna, John needs food," she yelled when she heard her whistling.  She ran in and walked John off to make sure he ate and got a real shower.  He needed one.  Plus his razor.  He was more than scruffy.  He looked like some wild hermit that lived in the woods.  Dean strolled in.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He moved Sam and sat down.  He sighed and got another chair.  Brenda blinked at them.  "We made Dad go eat and shower.  Sleep, Brenda.  We've got you."  She smiled and shifted, then swore and shifted back.  "Yeah, broken ribs suck for that," he agreed.  She flipped him off.  "Hey, House, she's slightly awake and swearing at her ribs."

House came in to check her over.  "They caught you on camera, young lady."

"So?" she mumbled.

"Two guys have called up to see if you'd go to dinner with them."

She blushed.  "John would mind if I went out with someone who only wanted me because I'm strong."

"True," he agreed.  He gave her a painkiller and she hugged him. "They're down to bruised now but be careful of those ribs."

She nodded.  "Xander?"

"Still out.  We'll let him wake up in a few days."

"Buffy?"

"Comatose but not in bad shape," Dawn said.

Brenda yawned.  "Faith?"  They pointed.  "She okay?"

"She's fine," House assured her.  "She'll be waking up to swear for painkillers soon."  Wesley laughed at that.

"Too late," Faith moaned.  "Fuck, I ache."  She tried to sit up but Wesley moved to help her.  She blinked at him. "You look like hell, Wes.  Why?"

"I've just come back from the last of the funerals," he said quietly.

"How many?" she demanded, trying to push her hair back.  She frowned, patting it.  "Thanks for the braid, D."

"Welcome.  Anna gave you pigtails."  Faith grinned at that.  "Twelve girls, three agents, some of the ones who made deals in Georgia.  Three cops in Chicago before you guys got there.  One afterward where we lost the girl there."

"Damn."

"Eight of those were the older women," Dawn said quietly.  Faith looked at her.  "They weren't fully trained.  Anna's not either but she was still there."

"I'll take a hairbrush to her ass later," she muttered, looking at Wes.  "X?  I remember he got hit pretty badly by the big baddy."

"He's being forced to stay asleep so he can't worsen his internal bruising.  He'll be allowed to wake up in two days," House told her.  He looked her over.  "You're both extremely lucky.  You can have broth tonight."

"Please?" Brenda asked.  Sam helped her sit up.  She looked at them then at Faith.  "Did we get it?" she asked Wesley, who nodded.  "We got the other one too, right?"

"You destroyed the one in Chicago and the other one was nearly killed before he banished himself as well," Wesley promised.  She sighed in pleasure.  So did Faith.

"House, she's waking up," Angel called.  "Her heart rate just raised."  House went to check on her.

Brenda and Faith shared a look.  "We have got to get the girls to fuss over X this time," Faith told her.

Brenda nodded.  "It'll save us.   He's the last one awake so it's only fair."

Dean laughed.  "Too late."  They groaned but relaxed and let themselves be fussed over.  John came back and fussed over Brenda, making Faith happy because she had a good daddy figure in him.  Wesley fussed more gently over her but she was content with that.   Wes hadn't been at the battle because he needed to handle those that weren't ready or if another group had to go he'd have gone with them, but that was fine with her.

Faith looked around then at Wesley.  "Did all the extra X's go home?  I remember the squealy one with the hair went to Chicago with us."

He nodded.  "They have all managed to make it home somehow.  That one got picked up from Chicago by some overly muscled gentlemen in leather."

"Huh."  She took her cup of soup that Chase brought her.  "Thanks, studly."

"Welcome, Faith," he said.  He handed Brenda's to John since he was fussing.  She stole it and John had to smile at that.  "I thought he might hold it for you.  Brenda, you are not moving from that bed for the next week.  I'm afraid until you're well you have to watch tv down here."

"Tv all to myself?" she asked, blinking her big eyes at him.  "Without the stupid soaps the girls watch."  He smirked, nodding a bit.  "Cool.  How It's Made marathons."

Chase smiled.  "We'll keep ours in the office, dear."  He checked her over.  "You sound all right but let us know if you feel a bit dizzy or anything starts to ache again."  She nodded, finishing her soup and handing back the mug.  "There's more coming.  Annabelle and Mary arranged it for you two."

"Annabelle's still going to be spanked," John growled.

Wesley looked at him.  "Why?"

"For going to Georgia," Faith told him.

"Oh, dear.  I'll talk with her as well."

"She had a good point," Sam said.  "There were slayers called at her present age who did fight in the past.  She doesn't want to go unless it's a clear emergency.  Beyond that, Dean made her feel miserable."

Wesley nodded. "As long as she knows she's not to go on anything until she's older.  We do have other girls who can and will go in her place until she's old enough."

"Of course there are," John agreed.  "Gibbs chewed her a new one too, Wes."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Now, let's let the girls rest."  They snorted.  "So we have time to get them at least a deck of cards."  They obediently laid down until they could get something to do or the girls brought down more food for them.  They were new to spoiling but they were getting a good handle on it.

Xander moaned and flipped onto his side to puke his guts up.  He blinked at it, eyes watering.  "Fucking hate being sick," he muttered, getting off the bed with a rip out of the IV.  He wandered off, heading back to his place. One of the guards tried to stop him so he detoured around him and headed for the garage.

"Freeze!" Jack yelled, jogging after him.  Xander swatted at him.  Girly swats at best.  "Xander!  Stop it!  You need to be in bed."

"Fuck bed," he muttered, glaring at him.  "Meany."

"Yay me.  I've heard that from bigger, badder things who think they're a god."  He walked him to his apartment building, putting him into his apartment.  Xander slammed the door and went to bed.  Jack shook his head, going to lock the auto garage and tell the others to make sure Xander couldn't steal their cars.  He knew why the guy wanted to hide because he was sick, he did it often enough himself, but he wasn't going to be allowed off base.  Not this time.  He ran into Daniel and House.  "He's in his place."

House snickered.  "That won't work."  He went to break in and sedate Xander, then he called the girls.  "Xander tried to escape the infirmary."  Xander slurred a few good swears and a curse at him.  He smirked.  "I told you to behave."  The girls ran in to carry Xander back to the infirmary and fuss over him.  They had gotten to fuss over the other Xanders a little bit but it wasn't the same as fussing over their Xander.  Their Xander was always the best Xander.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Interfering.

Daniel looked at his gathered people.  "It's nice to have Xander back from his sick leave to get untainted after the battle in Georgia."  Everyone smiled at him.  "He's now cleared for desk duty."  He looked around at all his people, including their major consultants.  "The situation did bring up a point when we couldn't find him however.  If one of you gets taken, Xander would be a natural choice with Tony to go on the rescue effort.  Perhaps Mac and Horatio as well.  You four are really our best at something that bad happening."

Tony raised his hand.  "You mean I'm DCIS SWAT too?" he teased.

"Basically.  You can handle the situation better than someone like, say, Eric would because of your extra training from Gibbs.  Mac got his in the Marines, Horatio was bomb squad, and Xander's Xander."  That got a few chuckles.  Xander was quickly becoming a separate category of federal agent.  Even to the other agencies.  "So what happens if one of you four is taken and the others are injured or can't get to you?"

Jack raised his hand.  "Is this like Xander's just in case feeling has spread?"  He wouldn't mention he was hurt that Danny hadn't included him.

"I couldn't get hold of anyone when I went to the priest in Boston to get untainted after clearing my last case," Xander told him.  "You were back in Colorado so you didn't get to hear them panic when my team reported I took a sudden leave and a commercial flight after hearing I had about five days to live if I didn't clear the taint out."  Jack shuddered.  "Honestly I'm lucky something didn't shut down with how bad a blast of power the higher nut sucker sent at me, Jack."

Daniel nodded.  "Which is a good point and I had a long talk with that priest.  He used to hunt as well, but he wanted to go back to the church.  If he hears, he'll tell us.  If there's a case in Boston and we need holy water, we can go to him."

"He's number 7 or 8 on hell's hit list," Xander told him.  "He's one of the few that makes real, honest to God holy water instead of blessed water.  The stuff that'll burn normal people who've sinned too."  Dean and John shuddered.  "It hurt like a bitch but it worked," he told them.

"You still had second degree burns," House reminded him.  "Twice."

"Three times," Xander said.  "He had to dunk me one last time before I left.  That's where the ones on my legs came from.  I had lusted."

House shuddered.  "That's strong holy water."

"For the purpose they needed it that strong," Daniel pointed out.  "So what's going to happen if they do get taken, guys?  And ladies of course."

"I've went in on arrests but not full blown assaults," Calleigh said.  The other CSI all nodded.

"I have," Don Flack said.  "You can put me on as a backup, Danny."

"Okay.  Thank you.  Anyone else?"

"Statistically speaking," Charlie Epps said, "Xander's most likely to be taken.  Demons know that he holds the slayers together and has a lot of influence there and helps all of us learn what we're doing too."

Daniel nodded. "Which is why we panicked when we found out he had disappeared."  He looked around.  "Does anyone else feel comfortable being put onto the secondary assault and rescue team if we need to?"

Gibbs raised his hand.  "You can borrow me."

"Thank you."

"You know you only have to ask," Jack reminded him.

Daniel smiled.  "With your knees I wasn't sure you'd be able to, Jack.  That's why you got bumped to a desk job."

"Yay me," he said dryly.  "I can still go if Gibbs can."

"I can probably handle it but I'd need some updating of some very ancient skills," John Winchester admitted.

Don Epps shifted in his seat.  "If you need me and I can get there, I can go.  That'd almost have to be in LA though.  There are some I can recommend from my fugitive hunting contacts."

"We still need someone in the armory. Glen doesn't feel very comfortable.  He loves all the weapons but we do a lot more than he thinks we should with them.  He nearly passed out when we had to pull out the apocalypse vault for Georgia," Xander said.  "He came to talk to me late last night about it.  I gave him the truth, now and then we need it.  Hell, when I was in Boston we had three different cases pop up that I got called in on, one from the hospital while you were standing there," he reminded the boss.  "He didn't like that I had to reload."

Daniel nodded.  "That was strange that they overlooked me to get you to go."

"No, they thought it might kill me so therefore hell would have a new general," he said dryly.  Dean clapped him on the back.  "I'm fine."

"I'm sure you are," Dean agreed.  "We'll be checking those new scars later."

"Most didn't," Xander said.  "Holy water doesn't leave scars most of the time when it burns.  Or so Father Philip said."  He looked at Spenser.  "How many of us have you profiled?"

"Most of you.  I agree with Charlie that you're a pivotal pin in the works around here and you often have cases on your own or cases that leave you on your own as part of the plan or necessity."

"Don't tell me you saw me getting her back too," he moaned.

"Getting who back?" he asked with a confused look.

"Xander went Conan with a weapon to get Calleigh back on his last big case before Georgia," Dean said.  "It led to Jack chasing him halfway across the base so the boss could spank him."

"It's so bad that Abigail sent it to some other friends," Jack told him.

Don Epps looked over at Xander.  "Don't do that in LA."

"We have you for that," he quipped with a grin.  "And that one I found on that one bomb case."

"Good point.  Speaking of, no one's seen him recently."

Xander snickered.  "He's around somewhere I'm sure."  Everyone stared.  "We got a call from Crissy, who was sobbing through a mood swing.  Apparently one of the local coven out there thinks he's a bigger action hero than I am and didn't want him to be handed over to die horribly.  So she fixed it."

"Someone spanked her?" Mac asked a bit too calmly.

"She only stole him.  Healed him.  Got him hidden."  They shared a look.  "It was a crappy situation all around and she went to beg Angel to help hide him.  They're watching over it since he needs a few more weeks to heal."

"Do we need to know as an agency?" Daniel asked.

"Hell no.  That might lead to them knowing where he is since they tapped into Abby's computer the other day according to her.  That's why she borrowed Dawn."

"Oh, good."  He clapped his hands.  "Then I won't worry about it until some other agency or the president comes to scream at me about it."

"Oh, he knows," Xander promised.  "The coven's girls sent him a very nice fax about how mean that was.  He gave them the fax number.  He also talked that very hormonal, thirteen- year-old witch into not cursing him.  Again."  Daniel stiffened.  "She knew someone had.  She said it was minor.  He stopped her in the name of national security and because the agents who'd come spank her were going to be mean and make her go into the military."

Charlie shook his head.  "Was the first one bad?"

"I'm thinking it was something like hemorrhoids," Gibbs admitted.  "I was still in DC then."  They all smiled at that.  The current president was an ass now and then.

"Okay, I don't need to know so I can deny you guys have knowledge if I'm asked."  They nodded at that.  "Xander, have you heard anything about this spring?"

"There's a few that are incredibly scared.  If we have any it'll be Chicago, because the invasion is considered good luck, and LA, with maybe a side of Miami for the remains that we didn't pick up last time that were stripped of their power as a clan."  Horatio let out a soft moan.  "I'd send my team to LA because they'll be the worst.  Send Horatio to Miami because his people will work with him.  They did the last time.  Send someone to Chicago who can handle it.  Mac maybe or Tony's team."

He nodded.  "When?"

"We heard late June.  After proms thankfully.  The girls were incredibly worried.  Oh, small sitch that should be noted.  The school the girls in Cleveland attend announced that the two girls had died in the battle.  No one out there knew that they were slayers.  They've been getting a lot of attention and even some hero worship."

"I went to meet the boy who wanted to date one of them," John assured him.  "While you were gone.  She said it was nice I didn't threaten him as much.  They haven't had many problems."

"Giles said Buffy's intercepted a lot of love notes, mash emails, and a marriage proposal to one girl."  He handed that one down to Charlie.  "For Spenser."

Spenser took it to look at then grimaced.  "Gee, thanks, more work," he joked.

"Yup, all yours, big guy.  Clearly not a demon since he said he didn't have any tentacles."

Danny Messer shuddered.  A few people gave him odd looks.  "Our last team case had people having tentacle sex with demons at a demon brothel where the workers were saying they were exploited, not paid, and being killed off if their tentacles went limp."  Don shuddered at that and so did Ryan.  He gave Ryan and odd look.

"One of my first single cases was a rape complaint by tentacle."

Xander grinned.  "But you did good solving it, Ry."

"Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."

Spenser looked at Daniel.  "To get back on topic, do we want to train the secondary unit to be able to handle a sneak in and grab situation?"

"We should, yes.  We should also make some more concrete plans," Daniel said. "It's great if that happens but if we're all out on cases then what?"  They all stared at him.  "Do I take you off your current case to go?  Do we wait?  Do we wait if there's no evidence of torture?"

"Realistically speaking it'd probably have been at least a few hours before you hear," Mac said.

"Most of the ones who'd want me would either kill me on the spot or take me as a sacrifice," Xander said.  "Not much torture unless they wanted to break me so I'd be their warrior instead."

"Why sacrifice you?" Don Flack asked.

"Hellmouth babies.  I was born and raised there, Don.  They're powerful holes of black magic.  Father Philip said that half the stuff that burned off was hellmouth taint.  Some still exists.  I soaked it up for twenty-three years.  Working overtop of it in high school, patrolling to kill its friends.  We know the one in Cleveland responds when one of us who're natural hellmouth babies get close.  That's why Willow couldn't get near it.  She moved in later on, when she was four, but she's soaked up enough that it responded and reached out for her to pull her in like a teddy bear."

"So, not only the magic that you locked away from yourself," House said.  "But you've basically got magical radiation?"

"We all have some," Xander told him.  "Anyone who's ever been exposed to magic.  Mostly it fades off.  Hellmouth taint comes from where it's connected to many different realms as the thin spot between them.  It radiates worse than Dawn when she's got the flu."

"So, getting a witch is good, but if they wanted major power...."

"I'm a white side fighter, I have my own magic that I locked away, I have hellmouth taint, and the Powers don't like me," Xander agreed.  "Yet hell does."  House nodded once at that.  "Which is about why I'd be taken.  That or to be killed to be gotten out of the way because I'm the protector for the slayers or because it might demoralize around here."

Daniel nodded.  "How many rituals would that sort of sacrifice cover?"

"Eighteen when Willow looked for herself.  Unless there's one that wouldn't be applicable down here but might be where certain other semi-members are residing since it was sent to the temple for me to be warned."

"Good to know," Jack said.  "Did I see that?"

"I sent it Rodney."

"He said something about magic messing up his precise science," Abby said, frowning some.  "So, eighteen or that one possible one?"

"As far as Willow could find," Xander agreed.

"I'll ask Sam and Thomas," John said.  "They're better at research than she was."

That got a few nods.  "Okay, so we've got some high priority targets.  We have two possible teams for getting them back but now we have to set protocol," Tony said.  "Do we have a ransom protocol if they take you, Daniel?  Because you are a federal agency director and that is something that people kidnap for money or information."

"No, we don't."

"We can work on that.  I know NCIS's rules," Gibbs said.  Daniel smiled.

"We had ours at the SGC," Jack said.  "We can work on that together, Gibbs, plus the assault protocol for getting Xander back."

"Hey!" Xander complained.  "It's not like they've stolen me yet.  Not even Anya stole me."

"If she had, we'd have gotten calls about the noise," Dean quipped.

Xander swatted him.  "I'm not that noisy, that was her."

"Still noisy, dude."

"Guys, not an issue," Abby pointed out.  "John made Anya see that Xander wanted a commitment when she wanted easy and cheap sex."  Xander gave her an odd look.  "Or is she coming back?"

"Only once.  She's got a hard job and needed a hug."

"What's she over?" Stella asked.

"Lost Childhoods now."

"Damn," Stella moaned.  "I'd hate that job."

"She doesn't love it but she finds a lot of kids who need her in war zones and other places."  They all nodded at that.  "Now and then she comes for a hug or a cuddle."

Dean looked at him.  "Do not keep me up," he complained.

"I haven't been!  She didn't even steal back her trunk of stuff."

"Which is very scary," House reminded him.

"How scary can it be?" Horatio asked.

House looked at him.  "Ask your boy there.  Dawn brought one in over dinner to figure out what it was used for.  It stumped the whole room."  Chase blushed.  "Including me because no person could use it."

Xander leaned over to look down at him. "Of course she was using demon models, House.  She was demonic for over a millennia."  He leaned back, looking at Jack.  "Do we need my input on those plans?"

"No, not until we train them into you," Jack said.  "Find a replacement for the armory?"

"If we could get him cleared, we could use the one guy," Horatio said.  Mac nodded.

"I'll see if there's any intel floating around about him," Danny said.  "I don't know why we haven't heard about that witch yet.  Usually we'd be complained at long before now."  He made a note.  "Okay.  What about the team issue we have?  Is roving teams working or do we need to set a few teams?  I know it was suggested that Xander's team be his and only his team since what he handles is usually bad."

Calleigh raised her hand.  "I don't mind if our third agent switches off, Danny.  I'm doing okay on Xander's team.  Even if he does freak me out with some of his moves."

Xander shrugged. "It worked."

"True."

"You could be getting ready to bear the first demon baby to stop that war."  He grinned.

"No thanks."  She looked at the boss again.  "Xander has a good handle on tactics for hunting and handling delicate situations.  Even if now and then he does break out in badass that'd get us all yelled at."

"Telling him to jump made him figure out that he was being an idiot," Xander said.

Daniel looked at him.  "Did I get that in a report?"

"Nope.  It was incidental."

"And human," Calleigh added.  "The last case in LA."

"You told a jumper to jump?" Spenser demanded.

Xander nodded.  "He wanted someone to talk him down.  He screamed back that he would.  I said fine, it'd create a mess, people would look at his family funny but they'd remember him for a few days for the problems he had caused.  It made him think.  I could've stopped him if he had moved closer to the edge."

"Not exactly a good thing to do, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "I have no idea why they called me instead of their usual shrink," he told him.  "We were in on a case for a whole different reason and halfway across town when they called me personally to come talk to the guy.  He didn't know a thing about demons.  When I asked them why they called me they said they figured I had seen more desperate people in the past."  Spenser whimpered.  "What do I do in that situation beyond pounce and nag?"

"There's a few different things.  Mainly get them talking, tell you about their reasons.  That's how you break the desire to end it," Spenser said.  "I'll write it up for you."

"Please.  Because that was the second one.  Miami had me do that too."  He glared at Speed.

"They weren't supposed to know I was back yet," he complained.

"This was after you got your own body?" Horatio asked.

"About five months before you guys heard I was alive," he agreed.  "It was only a two day case and I spent most of it hiding from you guys.  I'm not sure why the cops called either, but SWAT did."

"That one was at least part demon," Xander admitted.  "She was panicking about her infidelity thing going on.  She was right, her death if they tried her for it would've been worse than the fall.  Instead she had to plead that it was her human part that had tainted her and she wasn't worthy so she lost the clan and her kids and her spouse.  But the kids are being watched more closely and she moved."

"I don't know why they'd call you," Mac said.

"Me either," Xander said.

"I'll write it out for everyone," Spenser said.

"Thank you."  He grinned at him. "Want to stay?"

"Nope."

"You sure?"

"Yup."  He smiled.  "Even though we do have politicians who think they're in charge, I can handle it."

"We can make you a pretty office," Xander offered.  "I'll even let the girls paint it good colors for you and decorate so you have a comfy couch."

"If I need to leave, I'll come back here," he promised.  He smiled at the young man.  "Don't you have something you and House need to talk about later?"

"Um....  How did you find out?"

"I saw you."  Xander groaned.  "Talk to House, Xander."

"Yes, Spenser."

"More problems?" House asked.

"A possession while I was being tortured by Willow with the au trips."  House gave him an odd look.  "The same world I got the painkillers in to help my arm."  House glared.  "What?  They were dead!  I didn't even notice with the pain I was in!"

"How many, Xander?"

"Two.  Neither one had a great lot of practical skills I can use presently but hey, if I need to I can remove a bursting appendix."

Charlie gaped.  "You got possessed by two dead doctors?"

"Everyone on that world was dead," Xander told him. "I'm happy I only got hit with two.  One was a surgical student doc and the other was a Podiatrist.  Not exactly handy in the field."

John looked at him.  "I wondered why you restocked all the first aid kits around the base afterward."

"I needed something to do that day," he said dryly.  "Any other topics, Danny?"

"What did Spenser catch you doing?"

"Fixing Calleigh's broken toe."

Calleigh blushed.  "I thought you knew from field injuries."

"I did."  He grinned.  "I also help out in the infirmary during mass problems if I'm not forced onto a gurney."

"We'll remember that," Chase assured him.  "What was the topic?"

"Set teams versus flexible teams," Ryan said.  "Would setting teams hinder it when we had to go out on single cases?"

"So we set Xander's team," Tony told him.  "Any cases Xander goes out on his own are usually bad enough as is."  Calleigh gave him a hurt look.  "Aren't they?"

"Sometimes.  That's why I turned the case he left from into a team case on him."

Xander nodded. "She did."

"And we needed it," she reminded him.

"I wasn't mad."  He smirked at her and crossed his ankles.  "I don't mind if you set me up a solid team, Danny.  Whoever as long as they work with me.  I've already driven two former agents back to their agencies."

"They both said they were too straight for here," Daniel told him.  "I think it was the cases, not you specifically."

"After looking over his last few teammates, if you could find someone who reminded you strongly of Jack then it might help him," Spenser offered.  "A bit uptight when it was needed but used to dealing with strange and desperate circumstances."

"A bit of an uptight cowboy?" Mac said.

"Hey!" Jack complained.

"Don't make me part of this argument," Daniel ordered them.  "But if I could find someone like a younger Jack, it'd help him?"

"He's at the Air Force academy," Xander quipped.  Jack glared at him.  He grinned back.  "Isn't he?"

"He is and he's staying there.  You drive me nuts, Xander.  You'd drive him nuts too.  Get him someone like Sheppard, who can improvise well and knows when to do it and when to play it a bit closer to the book."

"John said I drive him nuts too," Xander said.  "Though someone did send me an email from near them that asked for blood?"

"Hell.  No," Jack said firmly.  "You're not going to join them, Xander."

He nodded.  "No intention of it.  That would drive me nuts.  I'd never fit in with all the uptight military people.  I can barely keep a schedule down here and I do have that geeky and building streak that means I spend days in the lab at a time."

"Rod said to thank you for that grenade," Abby said.  "He said it worked wonderfully and that extra ten seconds after remotely setting it off was very handy."

"Even with a remote you have to be somewhere relatively nearby.  That gives you time to back out of the way."

"Did you do specs?"

"They're in my file on the computer."

"Thanks."  She beamed at him.  "Daniel, I can share with Rod, right?"

"All he needs," he promised.  "They're part of us now too."  She beamed and bounced a bit in her seat.  "No sending those sort of things by email in case they're intercepted.  You can send him a disc or however."

"Okay."  She settled down at Gibbs' look, frowning at him. "You, no threatening him again, Gibbs.  You nearly scared him off me."

"I only pointed out what would happen if he hurt you, Abby.  I told him he didn't have to be afraid of me unless he did."

"You said until."

He looked at her.  "Everyone should have someone to give a shovel talk to their lovers," Xander told her.  She pouted at him.  "I'm sure Tony did too."  Tony nodded. "McGee maybe too."  McGee nodded from his seat in the corner.  "It means they're as close as family."

"Ducky sent him one by email," Tony quipped.

Xander looked at him.  "How did Ducky get to my temple?"

"I have *no* idea," he admitted.  "He is?"

"Yeah, he was.  I found him painting murals on the walls."

"Ducky's a bit like Carmen Santiago, only without the stealing because he's a good guy," Abby said with a happy grin.  "He shows up everywhere at least once.  Was he having fun?"

"Seemed to be.  Greeted me.  Let the priestesses fuss over me, even when I begged for mercy."

"How did an older ME get up there?" Jack demanded.  Everyone shrugged.  "Did you tell him anything about the teams?"

"I sent John an email when I got back," he assured him.  "Just in case something happens.  He didn't mention anything about them so I assumed he didn't know."

"How did he get up there?"

"For all I know he found one of them in Vegas, like I did."

Jack moaned.  "Now I know that Hammond wished teammates just like us on me."

"Hit him for me?" Xander asked Chase since he was closer.  Chase obediently hit him for Xander.  "Thank you, Chase."

"Our doc would've hit me harder," Jack taunted.

"I'm nicer than your last doctor," he shot back with an evil smirk.  "She said so."  Jack moaned.  "I know she got majorly injured but she called up yesterday to warn us that you're a *horrible* patient and she wanted to smack you around many times."

"Especially when you got her up at two for something unknown that has no known name or cause."

"That was more Danny's fault," Jack defended.

"Uh-huh.  Since we're not military, we can smack you," House said with an evil smirk.  "The same as I can Xander.  Sit."

"Going to the bathroom, chill."

"Bull."

"I haven't been in hours.  Did I need to raise my hand?" he said dryly, heading for the bathroom.  He came out and found House waiting.  "I'm fine.  It was too much soda."

"I don't care because it wasn't."  He pulled him closer, pushing him against the wall then opened his shirt to look at the bandages.  "Not bleeding."  He sniffed.  "Yet I clearly smell blood."  He looked at him.

"Are we a vamp now?"

"No, but that's a thought to make Chase run.  So where are we bleeding?"

Xander groaned, letting him see his side.  "One of the scabs popped."

"When?"

"When I stretched.  I still had to go to the bathroom and I was holding pressure on it in there."

"I thought you were rubbing one."  He let him go and pointed.  "Down.  Let me change it."

"It's fine."

"Shut up."  He gave him a shove.  "Now."

"Fine.  Whatever."  He leaned in.  "House thinks one of my scabs just burst open so he's going to grope my chest.  If you need me I'll be back in a bit."

"Walk," House ordered.  "Before I sic the girls on you again."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "They won't do anything and I'm not running."  He hiked that way anyway.  House would knock him out with his cane and beat his ass if he didn't capitulate quickly.  He walked into the infirmary, waving off a nurse coming to see what was wrong.  "Bandage change and House is nagging like a wife behind me."

"That is a totally scary thought.  You and me together," House said as he walked in.  "Get me the stuff I need for a bandage change over his burns."  The nurse went to do that.  "As much as I hate to see it, take them off so I can see them all, Xander."

"You know you like it with as often as you ask," he said dryly.

"Only when you come back from a whoring vacation that sounds like a lot more fun than my last one was."  He sat down once Xander was on the gurney.  "You're too skinny."

"Bite me."

"You'd like that."

"No, I didn't when Anya tried it or any of the vamps."  He gave him an odd look.  "But I never let a guy bite me.  Wanna try?"

House shook his head.  "You're not busty enough for me.  Sorry, kid."

"Ehh, I've got better elsewhere too."

"But not as smart."

Xander smirked at him.  "You don't know that."

"You do?"

Xander just smirked.  "No comment."

"Fine."  He checked each of the bandages, changing the ones that needed it.  He ended with the one that had broken open, probing it gently.  Xander only hissed at a direct poke.  "Looks like you're healing."  He spread on the creme and rebandaged it, looking at him as he took off his gloves.  "What next, Svengali?"

"I'm not the one who makes the other one pretty."

"Not quite how that one went."

"I did the book report on the movie, House."  He slid off the table, putting back on his shirt and sweat pants.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Another two weeks and you won't have any.  Then you can go annoy others in the rest of the world."  He gave him a look, catching his wrist.  "I did say desk only duty, Xander."  He stared into the brown eyes.  "I meant desk only duty.  No lifting, no carrying, no working out, no sword class, no irritating those, no bending if you can help it."

"Too late."  He smirked.  "They're not that deep."

"Uh-huh.  Don't make me handcuff you to someone, Xander."

"But House...."  He lost his grin at the serious look he was getting.  "I can demonstrate and not hurt myself.  They need to learn it.  It can save their lives and mine."

"Yay.  Wesley can run it for two weeks until those are fully healed.  How are you not in pain?"

Xander leaned down.  "I'm taking the painkillers the right way."

"Good."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Go brush your teeth."  Xander rolled his eyes as he walked off.  "I meant it."

"I know you did.  You're a great dad, House."  He pushed the button for the elevator, smirking back at the infirmary.  "Just think, if I had a real parent, I might've been you the next generation."

"You'd have horrified more patients than I do," House said in the infirmary but he was smiling.  He looked at the pain killer cabinet.  "Do a count?"  They went to do that for him.  He hadn't given Xander any painkillers.  When the count came up shorter than his own dipping should have he went to talk to the kid.  "How many are you taking?"

"As ordered."  He showed it to him. "Dissolved in tea because it tastes like crap."

House counted.  "There's an extra three missing."

They shared a look.  "You know I know how to dose myself," Xander told him.

House nodded.  "The same as I do.  So who?"

"One of the girls?"

"Let me check."  He went to the security office.  "Who's been in the painkiller cabinet?"

They gave him an odd look.  "Beyond you and Harris?"

"Yes.  We're still short.  It's safe but I still need to know."  They ran it back for him, finding which one of the girls it was.  He went to grab John from the meeting.  "Sorry, need him."  He walked him out by the arm, letting him see the tape.

John growled.  "That's the safe stuff, right?"

"Yeah but the dose is still one vial every six hours."

"Let me talk to her."

"Please do."  He turned to the current one, frowning.  "Why is Anna down there?"

"No idea."  He went to find her.  He stopped her in the elevator, walking her back inside.  "What were you doing in the infirmary?"

"Shea needed it."

"Why?"

"She...  She didn't say.  I know she's been in a lot of pain."  She grimaced.  "She said it was her back and monthly stuff.  I know she's been bleeding."

He took the vials.  "Let me.  From now on, you only get it if you ask first.  One and only one vial."

"She said it doesn't work."

"That's something she has to talk to House about.  One and only one vial every six hours per person.  No exceptions unless House says so."

She nodded.  "I didn't mean to get into trouble."

He leaned down.  "What's wrong?"  She whimpered.  "Anna."

She rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall.  "It's her leg.  I don't know what she did but she said it's been throbbing, cramping, and she's got a cut on the back from something she did recently.  Plus she ripped her back last night when she was out for her ride."

"Did she wreck?"

"No.  Her bike is pristine.  That's why I got her one vial and one of the placebo House made up to stop the fussing girls over PMS."

John looked at her.  "Why are you sneaking it for her?"

"She's pitiful and they thought I wouldn't get caught because everyone likes me."

"They?" he asked.

She blinked.  "What?"

"You said '*they* thought I wouldn't get caught'."

"A few of the girls felt sorry for her.  They sent me."

"Uh-huh.  We're having a meeting tonight.  After I talk to Shea."

"Sure, just keep me out of it."

"How many are using you?"

"Two."

"Painkillers?"

"One's Brenda's back."

He sighed.  "Why?"

"She shifted her bed and threw it late last night.  Chase caught me.  He came to see her.  Said she could have some until she was better as he helped her into the shower to relax the muscles."

"And?" he asked.

"As far as I know that was it."

He held up the vials.  "Four?"

"So I didn't have to come over later."

He sighed.  "Head back."  She went to do that.  He went down to the infirmary, holding it up.  "Brenda's back?"

"Muscle cramps from moving wrong.  She tightened up and couldn't get it relaxed," Chase said from the table.  House looked at him.  "She was shifting her furniture.  I gave her one for the day and put her in the shower."

"Shea's leg?"

Both docs stared at him.  "I haven't seen Shea since her intake physical," House said.  "Chase?"

"Once to get her pills when she got off the shot.  She gets a few months in advance."

"She said she was getting four so she wouldn't have to sneak back."

"Sounds like we need to do a full set of physicals again," Chase said.

House gave him an odd look.  "For everyone?"

"They learned bad habits off Xander," Chase explained.  "They hide when they're hurt.  They get someone to get their painkillers for them.  They never come in unless it's life threatening to their limited knowledge or someone drags them in.  We need a full physical of each of them."

"Fine," House said.  "Get the stuff."  He gathered two bags, handing House his.

John smirked.  "Give me ten minutes?  I need to yell at someone."

"Let do that afterward," Chase said.  "That way we know who to yell at."

"I'm going to yell on general principals for stealing drugs."

House nodded.  "That is dangerous.  Someone check *my* stash?"  Chase went to look, holding up the empty bottle.  "That had six emergency pills."

"We can do a drug test if you want," John promised.

"They might not be here," Chase pointed out.

"We can call them back."  John pulled House up.  "Let's go yell."

"Please.  Are we bringing in Xander?"

"Later."  They walked out together, Chase following after adding some more needles to his bag.  John walked in first.  "Get your butts down here!" he bellowed.  No one answered.  "It's not dinner."

"No, it's not," Chase said.  "I looked in.  They weren't in there."

John called Xander.  "Where are they?"  He smirked.  "Thank you."  He hung up. "They're waiting at his place so we have the two private rooms."

"That'll work," House agreed.  They walked over there, House walking in first.  "Ladies."  They all stared at him.  He put the bag down.  "Why are we all here?"

"Because they decided to be me and not admit to having injuries.  Against orders," Xander said from his seat in the office.  "I said even down to papercuts, ladies.  I meant it."  He came out.  "I know Brenda threw her back.  It was clear at breakfast."  He looked around. "It was also clear that some of you have problems that are longer lasting and more serious than you've told anyone.  I'm not particularly thrilled with this attitude, ladies.  As I said before, I do it because I had reason to.  You do not.  You will not.  I do not care if you think yours was bad and your watcher was abusive.  You will not ignore your health.  Your health is much too important."

"We have faster healing," Mary said.

He leaned down to get into her face.  "That's wonderful, dear, but if you're injured and don't get treated, how would we know?  We'd put you into situations where you'd be hurt even worse because we would not know."  She groaned and slumped.  He straightened up.  "Beyond that, if it was healable, it already would have.  Like Brenda's back is mostly healed."  He smiled.  "Since some of you have longer lasting injuries..."  They groaned. "They're going to give you a physical and then I'm going to chew your asses a new one."  He pointed.  "Now."

"Closest first," House said.  "I'll take the office."

"Brenda," Chase said.  "Since we know you're injured."

"Shea," House said.  She groaned but glared at Anna.  "She didn't bust you.  We did a count.  Then watched the tapes."  Shea gave him an odd look.  He stared back.  "Now."  She walked into the office with a huff.  He followed with a smirk, closing the door behind him.

Xander looked at the girls.  "Anyone want to confess?  Before we have to hear that you're off practice?"  Dawn raised her hand slowly.  "What did you do?"

"Um, turned my ankle?  I iced it like I'm supposed to."

"Good.  That shows sense.  Did you need a bandaid or painkillers?"

"No."

"Have you been sneaking any for another girl?" John asked.

"No," she repeated, relaxing.  "Oh, no.  Sorry, Anna."

"Not a problem.  John already chewed me a new one."

"Yes, you have to get your own," Xander said cheerfully.  "The same as I do, ladies."

"Are the older ones getting this talk?" Amber asked.

"Yup.  We already know at least one has that issue."  He stared her down.  "Anything you want to admit to?"

"No," she said.  She smiled.  "Why would I?"

He leaned down. "Because you're sitting wrong so either she played too hard or you're hurting yourself somehow."  She blushed, ducking her head.  "Yes?"

"Played too hard," she mumbled.

"Good."  He smiled.  "Do we need to talk?"

"No," she whimpered.

He patted her on the head. "It's all right.  I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

She gave him a dirty look.  "No you're not!  It's a big brother's job."

"I'm letting Dean do that later."  He smirked back.  "Right now I'm more concerned that you somehow hurt yourself.  If you don't tell us, we can't help you with it."

"You don't tell us," Dawn pointed out.

He looked at her. "Did you have my parents and then hunt with your sister without any training?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Then you don't get the same rights of being stoic I do."

"Stoic?" she teased.  "Another Speed word?"

"No, I knew that one."  He handed her a book.  "It's in there."

She looked at the graphic novel then put it aside.  "No thanks.  Way too many skimpy clad girls for my tastes."

"Only on the cover.  It's got a good story line."  Brenda came out sniffling.  "What?"

"Um, not something everyone needs to know."  She wiped her cheeks.  "John, can we talk?"

"Sure."  He walked in with her.  "What's up?"  He closed the door.

"Her cramps aren't subsiding.  I want to do a blood test."

"For?"

"I'm a virgin," she said, looking depressed.  "It can't be!  I haven't even touched one!"

Chase nodded at the furious look. "She is.  I did her exam myself last week.  She's taking her pills on time.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  There's a chance it's a tumor."

"Or it's a chance that someone did something," John said with a growl.  His hands were clenching but he couldn't seem to get them to relax.

"No!" she said, shaking her head, sitting down on the bed to stare at him.  "I haven't even been on a date!"

Dawn leaned in.  "Should I ready the spell searching spell?"

"Yes!" Brenda and John said together.

"Let me do the blood test first," Chase said patiently.  "Bring it down to the infirmary and we'll do it together."

"Okay.  Me next since I've got to do that?"

"Sure," John said, looking at her.  "We'll meet you down there."  He looked at her.  "I know you haven't.  It was a momentary snap, Brenda."

She pouted.  "You know I haven't."

"I know."  He gave her a tentative hug and she burst out crying.  "Don't do that."  He hugged her like usual.  "I have no idea how to deal with this.  I had enough problems with Mary."  She stomped off.  He walked out.  "Let me take her down there.  Xander?"

"Got it.  Sam's next door."  That got a nod and he walked that way.  Xander looked over as Dawn came out, stopping her.  "That sealed letter?" he asked quietly.

"May be needed."  She jogged over to her room then down to the infirmary, setting things up for Brenda and John.  She got the answer she expected.  "I have no idea who, Brenda."

"There's only so many witches who'd have access to her DNA or blood," John said.

"Latisha won't do this sort of stupid shit," Dawn pointed out.  "We got through to her after the last time."

"So a new one in the school?" Brenda asked calmly.

"Yeah, there is."  She canceled it, giving her a hug.  "We need to tell the others."

"No."

"Yes.  You can't practice or do gym."  Brenda pouted.  "Nothing too strenuous.  Like Crissy is."

"I can practice."

"To an extent," John agreed.  "Up to a certain level.  Swimming might be good."  She smiled more at that.  "Good."  He gave her a strong hug.  "Dawn, can you track down the witch?"

"I marked her so I'll know on Monday."  She beamed.  "Unless she's really good, she's marked."  That got a nod and he walked Brenda out.  Sam leaned in.  "Where's that letter Xander wrote after a vision?"

"Sealed in Dean's sock drawer.  Why?"

"One's going to be needed soon and I'm going to need help hunting.  Someone did a spell."  She tossed over an EPT.

"It's not mine."

"No, it's your baby sister's."

"Shit," he said, starting to growl.  "Who?"

"I need help hunting.  She's marked."

"We'll hunt."  He let go of the doorframe.  "Anyone else?"

"House and Chase are doing exams."

"I'll get the older ones up here."  He walked off to call them.  "Ladies, House and Chase are doing exams in Xander's apartment.  Because you guys hide things and don't tell us when you're injured."  He hung up.  "There.  Now for Dean."  He walked off, going to find him.  "Dean!"  He looked up from his katas.  "Gotta talk."

"Why?"

Sam walked into the gym and closed the door.  "You have a sealed vision from Xander?"

"I have five."  He wiped his face off then moved closer.  "Why?  Which one happened?"

"A witch got Brenda."

"The first grandchild?" he asked calmly.

Sam nodded.  "What're the others?"

"I can't tell you, baby brother.  Two are only possibilities.  One's a long shot beyond that.  It's only in case something ends up sending some of us off the deep end to protect everyone."

"Is one me going dark?"

Dean nodded.  "That's part of the long shot one.  If it happens it'd happen because you were doing it to save everyone."

Sam slumped then nodded.  "I can see that."  He looked at him.  "This one?"

"It's short.  It's in a language I don't know.  I know you don't.  It's one of the demonic ones.  It's so Dad has to take time to decode it before he loses his temper.  It's only ten paragraphs long."

"So not too much detail?"

"No, apparently not."  He grabbed his shirt then put it on.  "Where is Dad?"

"With Brenda."

"We can go give a hug."  They walked out together.  They found Brenda huddled in her room.  "Hey."

"There's a *prophecy*!" she shouted.

"That Xander had," Dean agreed.  "But it's not bad."  She sniffled, staring at him.  "I'm sure it's not.  It's in code, but it's not bad."

Xander leaned in.  "It's not bad but it's shocking.  That's why I put it into that language.  So you have time to decode it and calm down."

She sniffled.  "Is it a slayer or like Connor?"

"Yes."

She burst out in a new wail.

He sighed.  "No.  Stop it."  She looked at him.  "It's not that bad.  She'll have a watcher.  One that's just hers."

"Who?"

He smiled.  "Don't worry about it.  She'll have one."  He came in to give her a hug.  "It's a problem that was granted by one of the bigger pains in the slayers' asses who thought they were giving a reward."  He patted her on the back.  "Now, calm down.  Can't be good for you."  He smiled and walked off, going to handle the slayer that wasn't admitting to having a hell of a lot of painkillers in her system.  Now all they needed to know was why.  The other three that had decided to experiment, John could handle.  He'd yell later.  He met Shea outside. "C'mon.  We need to talk."

"No, we don't."

He pulled her closer, staring down at her.  "Yeah, we do.  Either you have it with me or you have it with your parents, Shea."  She went  pale.  "Now, let's go talk."  She nodded, walking that way with him following.  He waved at the older women coming in.  "My place.  Olivia, expect to be nagged for that cut."

"Whatever," she muttered.  They got up there to hear John going off on the girls who had decided to tempt fate by trying drugs.  She walked in first.  "Are we being drug tested?"

"No, only them."  He smirked.  "This is because all slayers seem to want to hide their injuries.  We can't keep you from being hurt worse if you don't tell us."  They all groaned.  "They're getting it because they decided to steal House's vicodin."  They all shuddered.  "Go back to your meeting area.  We'll be talking, ladies."  They slumped and stomped off.  He looked at them.  "Xander won't mind if you guys start a movie or something.  He's off with Shea."

"She's having problems?" one o the older ones asked.

"Quite."  He looked at the girls.  "It won't take long."

"I know."  They settled in to play Xander's game system.  As their turns were taken a new girl took over their character or started a new one.  John waited to cool his temper. Then he went to scream at the girls who decided to experiment with drugs.  If his screaming and yelling could be heard outside...oh well.

***

Dean tapped on John's door.  He held up the letter when his father opened it.

"What's that?"  He took the letter.

"Xander had one of his visions way back when the dream demon was going on.  He put it into a demonic language to give you time to calm down while you translated it."  He leaned against the doorjamb.  "He told Brenda it's not something horrible.  She'll be like her mother."

"She's a slayer?"

Dean nodded.  "He said she'll have a watcher.  He also said that he thinks it was the Powers thinking they gave someone a reward for good work."

"Charming," John said grimly.  "Do we want to translate it now?"

"Up to you.  I have no idea."

John grimaced. "Any idea what else is in there?"

"Ten paragraphs.  It's in a demonic language.  He said he put it in that to give you time to calm down."

John nodded.  "Okay.  Is Thomas in?"

"No clue."  He smirked.  "How is she?"

He looked back at the girl curled up on the corner of his bed.  "She needed a hug."

"I'd need a hug if I ended up pregnant without a boy being there too."

"If you had, I'd have killed the witch that was torturing you, Dean.  You're not exactly built for that."

"Maybe he has transgender issues," Brenda mumbled into a pillow.

Dean snorted.  "No, I'm firm in my manliness, dear.  Want a hug from me or Sammy?"

"No.  I'm good."

"Good."  He left, going back to find Sam looking at the others.  He took them from his hand.

Sam looked up at him.  "Two are about me going dark."

"One's the long shot to save everyone.  The other one, if I remember what little flashes I got during the building thing, you got vamped."  Sam shuddered. "That's a just in case."

Sam swallowed, standing up. "One's you and Dawn."

"More likely.  Not deadly but something that'll be more likely if certain things happen.  He said all of these may change depending on what happened in a few other areas.  It's not a certainty.  You know how he has feelings that change now and then?"

"I've seen that.  He'll start to get the just in case jitters then suddenly stop before it gets too intense."

"That's what these are."

"Even better."  He stood up.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome.  We've got to give Brenda the good, supportive big brother treatment."

"We do.  Where is she?  Ice cream?"

"Dad's bed.  Huddled in a corner."

"I'll go get her ice cream."  He walked off, going to get some ice cream then went to barge in on his father.  He handed his father a bowl then sat on the foot of the bed, nudging her knee.  "Ice cream?"  She sniffled.  He pulled her up then handed her a bowl, tucking her under his arm.  She dug in, still sniffling. "We'll be great uncles, Brenda."  She looked up at him.  "We will.  Dean's had a lot of practice with me.  It'll help Dad learn how to raise kids instead of soldiers while still training them, because I'll be making sure she has fun and goes to school, and we'll be good."  She nodded, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder.  "It'll be fine."

"If you're sure.  I'm not.  The other kids will laugh."

"No they won't.  Dawn and I are hunting the witch down and making her sorry."  She looked up at him.  He nodded.  "Oh, yeah.  Dean'll kill her.  I'll make her miserable and regret being born.  Dawn'll do some light torture.  Then we hand her to Dean and you."  She laughed, giving him a real hug then digging into her ice cream.  And his.  John sat down on her other side, letting her steal some of his too.  He let her cuddle if she wanted.

"I want some of this witch too," John told him.

Sam licked his spoon.  "If she lives past Dean and Brenda.  Or you jump in before them."

"I can do that."  He rubbed a hand over her hair.  "We'll get through this."

Sam nodded.  "We will.  We'll even make Dean help with the labor.  He can even do the gross stuff and cut the cord."

"Eww."

He grinned.  "That's why we'll let Dean do it."

"As long as I can be knocked out."  She stuffed her mouth with ice cream.

***

Dawn strolled up to the school extra early on Monday.  "Sir," she said when she ran into the principal.  Sam was walking behind her.  "We are going to have a problem.  I'm going to be kicking someone's ass because they magicked a slayer pregnant."

He blinked.  "You can do that?"

"Yeah, you can," Sam agreed.  "She's marked but she's in deep and Brenda's deciding if she wants to press charges.  I'm here to make sure Dawn doesn't kill her before Brenda gets to."

"Which one?"

"I marked her," Dawn said.  "I'll be able to tell."  He looked at her.  "I'll make it more visible before we drag her off."  She handed over a paper.  "From House about her being excused from PE and her excuse for the next few days.  Plus two other girls who have injuries and are being given a good reason to not hide them the next time."

"How?"

"Since they didn't admit to them, they're handcuffed in the infirmary being fussed over," Sam said with an evil grin.  "That's how we retrained Xander to admit when he was hurt."

"Well, I guess that works.  Do we have any idea?"

"Latisha isn't that stupid," Dawn said.  "I'm not sure if there's a few other problems we haven't seen before."

"You pull whoever into my office so you can prove it, Miss Summers."

She nodded.  "I can do that."  She walked out and hopped up onto a wall next to the school.  Sam leaned beside her, ignoring all the girls who weren't marked.  At least until one showed up.  "Sister, we gotta talk," Dawn said, snagging her hair to pull her over.  "Latisha."

The girl gave her a dirty look.  "Don't mess up my hair!"

Dawn looked at her then pulled her closer.  "Someone around our age pulled a serious spell."

"Who?" she demanded.

"No idea but I marked her.  She's looking at some serious slayer smackdown."

"After we get her first," Sam said dryly.  "She unkindly decided to knock up a virgin slayer."

Latisha snickered.  "You had me going."  Dawn nodded.  "No way!"

"Way," Dawn said dryly.  "No matter how 80's that is."

"Damn!  Who?"

"Brenda," Sam said dryly.  He pointed.  "That mark, Dawn?"

"That mark was part of it but not all of it."

Latisha looked then frowned.  "She's part of a coven.  I know most of them."

"We'll be bringing the ones who're marked up to the base.  They may be in for charges," Sam said.  "Plus Brenda gets to beat the shit out of them."

"Hey, good with me," Latisha said, backing off.  "Let me gather any who you don't get."  Dawn walked off, stalking that girl until she grabbed her, making her scream all the way to the office.

Sam smirked.  "How many?"

"Sixteen in the coven."

"Gather for us please.  There's another one."  He stood up straighter, standing in front of her.  "Slayers Council.  You're wearing black and blood magic marks, young lady.  To the office please."

"Who're you to say that?"

Dawn strolled out, glaring at her.  "Office, now, heathen bitch."  The girl glared.  Dawn slugged her then walked her into the office.  "Here, another one who tried to backtalk me."  She strolled off, going to find the others.  Latisha gathered for her very well.  She pointed at the other two and Sam gathered. The hard way since they complained.  She smiled and exposed the marks.  "Well, ten of you fifteen are responsible for a black magic spell that knocked up a virgin slayer."  They all glared.  "You're in deep shit, ladies.  Brenda's deciding about charging you or not."

"It was supposed to be you," one sneered.

"She's powerful; the kid would kill us," Latisha snorted.

Dawn smiled.  "Actually, me bleeding anywhere is a very bad idea thanks to some artifacts I've been exposed to.  That's why there was a hell goddess after me once."  Latisha turned very pale.  Sam shuddered.  "Exactly."  She looked at the girls again.  "Now, let's go."  She dialed the principal's desk phone.  "Tell Brenda there's ten here who're marked, sixteen in the coven, fifteen that we have."  She looked at Latisha.  "The other?"

"Home schooling.  She's got bone cancer."

"We can check," Sam promised.  "Or an agent."  Dawn hummed then hung up.  "How long?"

"Five."  She looked at the girls.  "This goes beyond heinous, ladies.  It goes beyond trifling.  It goes beyond taste.  You give us a bad name and I'm sorry we practice the same craft."  The school's guard came in.  "Morning."

"You hit her."

"She magicked one of the slayers pregnant.  All the marked ones.  The others are in the same practicing group."

The guard shuddered.  "A pregnant slayer?  With mood swings and all that?"

"Oh, yeah, and super strength.  Plus right now back cramps from hell.  That's how we found out."  She smirked.  "There's a big shit coming.  Congrats for making yourself the toilet paper."  Guards and Tony walked in.  "Them, gentlemen.  There's one missing, she's home schooled."

"Is her mark visible?" Tony asked.

"Should be."

"Then we'll check to make sure.  That way Sam doesn't break her into tiny, bitty pieces."  He looked at them.  "Arrest the ones with the marks.  We'll be looking at the other ones.  Put them in interrogation rooms on the base, separated, and call their parents."  They nodded, arresting the girls, reading them their rights on the way out to the van.  He looked at the two younger ones.  "Let us.  She did press charges."  He strolled off with the last one, sing-songing the Miranda statement.  He put her into the van and got in.  The guards got into the other one.  He heard one mumbling.  "Ladies, for your information three *very* strong witches and their white lighter put protections on all the vans so that nothing magical can happen during transport of prisoners."  They all groaned.  He started the van with a smirk and drove off.  He'd get the other one later.  Don Flack asked so he went to check on her and talk to her parents.  She wasn't marked but she had other marks that were worrying.  Including marks to three different dark gods and a higher demon.

Needless to say, her parents weren't pleased.

The screaming that brought the cops made them unhappy too.

***

John found the dictionary Thomas had suggested, sitting down to translate the prophecy.  He frowned at the first line telling him to calm down.  That boded ill.  He worked on the next line.   He stared at it when he was done.  Telling him he doesn't want to know.  It was the codex for her reign.  Definitely not good news.  He did the third, not sure he wanted to know.  He looked at it.  "She's family returning?" he whispered.  He frowned, going on.  He stared at what was coming out.  He finally looked up to find Xander seated across from him, his feet up on the table while he read a Penthouse.  "You read those around the girls?"  He hadn't heard or felt him come in.

Xander looked over the edge.  "Sam's not in here so none of the girls are."  He put it down, sitting up to look at him.  "Do you want to remember it?"

"No."  He looked down then at him.  "Dean'll be destroyed."

"Brenda wants to name her Mary."

John licked his lips, then nodded.  "Will she remember?"

"I don't know.  It depends on what sort of reward the Powers saw this as."

John nodded.  "How long?"

"It won't matter."  John glared.  "You'll be there with her.  She'll have her watcher."

"Me."

"You," Xander agreed. "Because we all know you'd never let anyone else do it."

"True."  He relaxed.  "What am I going to tell Dean?"

"Up to you.  He may have gotten a few flashes when I had it.  Sam might've."

"Sam did," Sam called from his hidden corner.  "Sam can also read that language."

"Where are you?" John called.

"Hiding from the girls."  He came out of hiding, looking at his father.  "I saw."

"Are you all right with that?"

"Dean's going to be worried and upset.  I haven't told him."

"Told me what?" Dean called from the other side of the library.

"Dad decoded it."

Dean and Brenda walked over.  "We were going over baby gestation online."  He took his father's notes.  "Bad grammar."

"Translated by their rules."  Xander got up and left them alone.

Dean took his seat, looking at it then at his father.  "He's sure?"

"Pretty."

Brenda took it to read.  "Oh."  She looked up.  "John."

He stroked her cheek.  "You're still my daughter in all but name."

"I was going to ask if you'd mind if I gave her your last name."

"Not in the least, even if she wasn't her."  He smiled.  She sniffled.  "Hey, none of that."  Dean let her hug him.  John leaned over to hug her himself.

Sam smiled.  "It'll work out, guys.  She's going to live a very long time with all of us helping her."

John nodded.  "She will.  She'll last longer than her mother's reign will."  Brenda smiled a watery smile.  "It'll be okay.  We'll handle it."

"Will you have to have the prom gown refitted?" Sam asked.

She shook her head.  "It's in a month and I won't be showing until around five by what Crissy did."

"Good."  Dean smiled. "All you girls are going to look so hot."  She beamed.  He ripped up the decoded prophecy and the prophecy itself.  "There.  Better.  She's my niece.  No matter who she was in her last life, she's my niece."  John nodded at that.  "Sammy?"

"Good for me.  I love nieces.  I might even babysit."

"You'll spoil the baby with horrible baby learning systems," Dean complained.

"Yeah, but you can give her little scythes."

John smiled.  "I'll get her her first shotgun."  Brenda beamed at that.  "We'll handle it."  She nodded. "We should make you eat, young lady."  She nodded, walking out with Dean and Sam around her.  John followed, making himself forget that prophecy.  It might be a reward to some but to him it was agonizing.  At least he'd have her back but she wouldn't be his.  Brenda pinched him so he looked at her.  "What?"

"Too much thinking.  You're turning into Sam."

"Sorry."  He gave her a hug then they went into the caf to sit down and eat.

Dawn leaned down the table.  "Anything the rest of us need to know?"

"She'll be named after John's wife Mary.  She'll be a Winchester from birth.  She'll be a future slayer."

Anna hugged her before sitting down.  "We'll make sure she's one of the longest lasting ever."

"Thanks, guys."

"Welcome," Dawn said cheerfully.  "They all took deals and we're good now."

"Good.  Are they serving much time?"

"No magic, no contact with the rest of the coven, and probation for ten years," Dawn said.  "The judge wanted to give them jail time but their lawyers begged for the deal and they agreed to willingly bind their magics.  They did the same thing Xander did to his.  If it's an emergency they can break out but they've got to want to get past the really horrible headache they'll have when they try."

"The headache is horrible," Xander said from his seat.  "You can't do jack with it.  As soon as you try it hits and it's bad enough that unless you're under some heavy painkillers, like darvocet or higher, it's not going to happen."  She relaxed at that.  "They won't be doing it again.  The judge called in their cohorts to tell them the same thing and warn them that they're idiots."

"The one who was being home schooled had a lot of marks and her parents were not pleased," Don called.  "She was clearly warned by them and they walked her in to talk to the judge too.  Even he yelled."

"Good."  Brenda dished herself up food, then dug in.  "We have to tell Crissy and Buffy and them."

Faith walked in.  "I heard there were issues?"

"Just a few," Xander said dryly.  "You only got a few problems.  Girls who didn't report they were injured.  A few who took some drugs.  You know, usual teenager shit."

"I vaguely remember that stage, yeah."  She looked at them.  "Any I gotta smack around?"

"Um, two, but we'll discuss that in private," Xander said.  He looked at her.  Then at Brenda.

"Little B, I know you didn't," she said dryly.

"Um, no, but some witches decided they wanted to make John a grandfather."

Faith paused at that.  "Excuse me?"

"Never been near a boy but the bunny died," Xander told her.  "They're in deep and the judge made them bind themselves.  Plus they're on probation because they begged and they're juvies."

Faith licked her lips.  "Okay, so..."

"There's a baby Winchester in there," Dean told her.  "Who'll be a slayer.  Xander saw it."

Faith let out a deep breath then hugged her.  "We'll do what we can to help, Little B.  Told anyone else?"

"Not anyone anywhere else."

"We can handle that," Dawn said cheerfully. "The slayer gossip network is wonderful and travels at the speed of email."

"And text message," Xander agreed.

"We'll call one later," Faith decided.  Wesley walked in smiling.  "Don't."

"We had to pull pop physicals.  Some girls weren't reporting things," Xander told him.

"Oh, dear.  Anyone horribly injured?"

"Some witches made Little B preggers," Faith said.

"Oh my god," he whispered, staring at her.  "Are you all right, Brenda?"  She nodded, giving him a hug. "That's good then.  Are we handling it and did we beat them?"

"The judge did.  They're bound."

"Good!  Excellent in fact."  He sat down, looking at the others.  "Anything else I should hear?"

"In private," Xander said.  "Handled but for the records."  A few girls groaned.  "They're being teenagers in most cases."

"Good.  The ones who were neglecting themselves?  I notice some aren't here."

"They're handcuffed in the infirmary so they learn to confess.  The same way I did," Xander said with an evil smirk.

"We get to fuss later," Mary said with an evil smirk of her own.

"Less evil thought, more eating," Gibbs ordered from his seat.

"Yes, Gibbs."  She dug in, eating all she needed to sustain herself.  She was hungry.

Wesley shook his head, watching the girls be girls.  It was a good sign for their future.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Rites of Passage.

NC-17

It was prom afternoon.  The girls were fluttering around.  The guys watching were trying to be patient.  It wasn't going to last for much longer.  They hoped.  Dawn was in charge of making sure everyone looked all right.  Then the guys would make sure they didn't look too bad then the rest of the agents were going to see them off.  Dawn came down first in her gown, fussing over a tie.  Xander turned her around to tighten it for her.

"How do you know how to tighten a corset?" Dean asked.

"I could joke about way too many girl movies, but Tara wore corset dresses and now and then had to be adjusted," he said with a grin for her.  "Finish your hair.  It's falling down."  She huffed and went to do that.  "And do your teeth again, they have lipstick.  And your powder's too obvious."

"Yes, big brother," she called.  She went to redo her makeup and her teeth.  She came down looking fabulous and they nodded, even if John was scowling a bit.  "It's fine, John.  Quit being such a dad.  You're not mine and I'm not Brenda."  She patted him on the arm, sitting down to wait on the others.  The slayer who had gotten the showy white dress came down next looking fantastic.  They all stared at her.  "Um, dear, bra?"  She shrugged and adjusted the top.

"Double sided tape," Xander ordered with a point. "You lost weight since you bought it."  She sighed but went to do that.  Faith grabbed her to help her.  Xander looked up there.  "Anyone else ready?"

"Hell no!" Faith called.  "Twenty more."

"That's my cue to go change," Dean said, going over to his apartment with Sam.  Sam already had things laid out, shined up, and ready for him.  "Why are you twittering over my date?" he asked.

"Because I want it to be special for Faith."  He handed him something.  "Changed the overnight plans.  That's about an hour away from town."

"You think I'll have the energy to drive?" he joked.

"Yup.  Because the slayers staying in town are staying at the local motel.  This'll give you and Faith a good weekend off.  I already put a bag with her clothes and yours for tomorrow and the next day in the car.  They have a picture of you so they know who you are and that you're supposed to be there.  I checked you in so that's your key.  None of the younger ones can bother you or pop around for help with practical questions during their night off.  Just you and Faith on a weekend off."  He walked off.  "Get dressed.  She'll be looking spectacular by what Xander said."

"A weekend away from the nosy people, that might be nice," Dean muttered.  He went to take a shower.  By the time he got out, he was clean, smelled good, and he was mentally psyching himself up for this night.  Because he wasn't sure he wanted to chaperone the prom.  Even if he would be seeing Faith in a dress that Xander said made him drool.  Actually that might be the benefit of doing this tonight.  Getting to tease her that she wore clothes like that.  He came out dressed except for his tie.  Sam took it to do for him with a grin.  "I could've.  My mirror's fogged."

"I know."  He brushed some lint off him and buttoned his jacket.  "Got condoms?"

"You're expecting me to forget with as often as I nagged you to remember them?" he joked.

"Yeah.  I added extra to the glove box."  He grinned. "There, not too bad."  He fussed with his hair until Dean ducked away.  "Hold still."  He did it anyway.  "It's me or Dawn, Dean."

Dean groaned but let him do it.  "You're fussing like it was your prom or I'm your son."

"I want it to be special for her.  Every woman deserves one special night to be fabulous and be the center of attention."  He looked at Dean.  "That's why Xander let her do this instead of the others."  He brushed the arms down again.  "It doesn't fit perfectly but they did a pretty good job fitting it to you."

"Thanks.  Anything I've forgotten?"

"Did your teeth?"

"Yes, mom, I did brush my teeth," he said dryly.  "And shaved and put on deodorant."

Sam grinned getting something.  "For her."

"Why am I getting her flowers?"

"Because she's still a girl.  It's a single flower.  She'll appreciate that more than a bouquet or a corsage."  He picked up his camera.  "C'mon.  She's got to be ready."  Dean nodded, walking over to the girls' dorm again.  He walked in and Sam took a picture of their father's face.  "We did good?"

"You did very good.  The girls need a drool check, boys."

Dean stared at a few of them, swallowing hard.  "Nice going, ladies."  They smiled.  "We did all the hygiene stuff?  Teeth, deodorant?  That stuff?"  One went rushing to do her teeth.  "Good."  He looked around.  "Faith making a grand entrance?"

"Yup," Dawn agreed. "Her and Shea."  Xander grinned.  "We haven't seen their dresses yet."  Shea came down in the green gown she had gotten.  "That looks nice, Shea."  She smiled.  "Need help with your hair?"

"Please.  I can't french twist worth a damn.  Neither can Wesley."  She sat so Dawn could fix her hair for her.  Then she stood up. "Do I meet expectations?" she asked lightly.

"You look very nice," John told her.  "Are you sure you can handle being the chaperone tonight?  That means having to break up the cuddling and the ones that want to dose the punch with liquor."

"Of course I can.  I can handle bar bouncing too, John."   Faith cleared her throat.  She gaped.  "Damn."

Dean gaped.  "Damn is right," he said in awe.  He grinned, moving forward to hand her the flower.  She gave him an odd look.  "Sammy thought you needed it.  I think it's only going to make you look less hot."  He helped her down the last few steps.  "You do look nice," he said in her ear.

She smiled.  "All X's doing."

"You're welcome," he said, taking pictures of them.  Sam came over to push in a hairpin then got out of the way.  "Okay, you all look good.  Go make the others drool.  John and I will have our cells on tonight if you guys need saved.  Those who're staying out all night have your plans in place?"  They nodded.  "Good."

"Weapons?" John asked.

"Thigh holster," a few girls, including Brenda, said.

"I am a weapon," Dawn said smugly.

"You cannot hope to kick butt in that dress," one of the other girls teased.  "You and Brenda will have to fight the fabric."

"I can so kick butt in mine.  I practiced in my shoes and everything," Dawn said smugly.  "C'mon, ladies.  Let's go make the agents drool so we can wait on our dates over there."  They followed her out.

Xander handed Dean something.  "I let the girls wash and wax the Impala under John's careful watch so she's beautiful and clean tonight."  Dean grinned at him for that.  "And reloaded the trunk's ammo in case you run into problems because something wants Faith for being that hot."  Faith actually blushed but walked Dean on.  He and Sam shook hands once they were out of sight.  "Good work, Minion Sam."

"Why am I the minion?"

"Because I'm the evil genius?" he suggested with a grin.

"You're both only warped, boys," John said patiently.  "If you were heading toward evil I'd let the girls deal with you."  They both blushed at that before going to meet the girls' dates and make sure they knew to treat them right.  John looked up.  "Why do they want to do these girly things?" he muttered.

"Most women have to have a time to look special," Gibbs said from his seat.  "This and their wedding is usually it.  At least they all looked tasteful."

"Xander's doing.  Even Shea's dress."  That got a smirk back.  "You know Dean's off for the weekend?"

"I heard."

"Good.  We'll have you up to handling our job when we take a few weeks off after school ends.  There's some people who're close to the family that I want to introduce Brenda to."  He stood up.  "Think they're gone?"

"There's still a limo outside and one other car."  They watched the girl in the white dress get into it and they left.  The car left with Dean and Faith. They headed over, finding Dawn nibbling.  "Still here?"

"He had to switch cars because one of the ho patrol gave him a flat tire," Dawn said with a small shrug.  Xander tossed her something.  "You sure?"

"Yup.  Go for it.  Don't dent it.  Or else."

"Yes, Xander."  She gave him a hug then looked at the keys.  "When did you get a sports car?"

"Last month."  He grinned.  "I need a hot car to get me a good, slightly evil woman."  She walked off cackling about that and calling her man.  He looked at the boss.  "Did I do good?"

"You did excellent," Don Flack assured him.  The other agents just nodded.  "They are drool worthy and very cute tonight.  Especially Faith."

"Not like Faith's the sort to have a fairytale night.  This gives it to her since she won't ever go for a big, froofy wedding."  He grinned at John.  "If they want of course."

"Of course."  He sat down to eat.  "We all good?"  They nodded.  "Xander, why did you get a sports car?"

"For my vacation this fall?" he suggested with a grin.

"No going to Vegas and no going with Dean and Sam," Daniel reminded him.

"Yes, Danny."

"Thank you," Messer said.  "We can live vicariously through your vacations but not even we can live through it if you get another plane offered to you."

"Not my fault I won the game.  I didn't know it was a real place."

"Uh-huh," Jack O'Neill said dryly.  "Keep up that innocent act.  Maybe you'll get a girl who's not that evil for a change."

"Why?  They're uptight and less fun."  A few of the girls and John choked.  He grinned.  "They are.  Good girls like the slayers are don't have the same sort of fun that bad girls do."

"Remember, bad girls go to Cleveland," Mary joked.  "The good girls go overseas and to LA."  The others laughed at that.  She handed Xander food.  "You'd better eat.  Otherwise that bad girl you want will break you in half when she's playing bad girl games."  Gibbs looked at her.  "What?" she asked innocently.  "If they're playing I'm sure bad girls have different games than we good girls do."

"Yes they do but you don't need to know about them yet."

"Of course not.  When I'm old enough to appreciate the spoils of panty raiding then we can talk about those sort of things."  John moaned.  "It wasn't us this time."

"The older slayers were the ones pantyraiding?" Don Flack called over.

"They got drunk," Gibbs said.  That got a few snickers.  "They decided it was like being in a sorority and it did prove stealth very well."

"Until House found one and got her with a spare dye pack he had," Chase said with a wicked grin.

"Remind me I need to give extra PT again tomorrow," John told Gibbs.

"I already did.  Told them if they were going to act like spoiled teenagers we'd treat them like it."  That got a nod and a smirk.  He dug in, letting Mary and Annabelle hug him.  "When it's your turn to go to the prom, we'll make sure you look as good as those did."

"Sure," Mary agreed happily.  "That means I have to capture a boy and tie him down, right?"

"Dating doesn't include ropes," Xander told her.

"Handcuffs" Anna asked.  "Faith joked about packing some in her purse for the night."

John blushed, shaking his head.  "That's a bad girl thought.  No good girls, like you two are, need those sort of things."

"Unless your boy loses his soul like Angel did to Buffy, you shouldn't need them," Xander assured her.

"Okay," she sighed.  "I'll quit practicing my knots."

"Someone's doing extra PT tomorrow," John said firmly when Gibbs could only moan.

"I'm already on for PT tomorrow and next weekend."

"Then next time don't go asking the demons how they have carnal relations," Gibbs said firmly.  "You have another weekend added to it for that knots comment."

"Yes, Gibbs," she sighed, getting back to eating.  Not like they had anything better to do anyway.  At their age it wasn't as much fun as the girls who were old enough to date.  Gibbs shook his head, getting back to eating.  "What are the rest of them doing this weekend?"

"Sword practice," Xander said happily.  That got some looks from the agents.  "Yes, all those who need it are to attend too."  They groaned but nodded.  "Wes and I are running a lesson on how to defeat someone using a different style."  That got a nod.  They knew they had to at least show a proficiency in the art, just in case it became necessary like it had in the Chicago riots they had just had for a spring apocalypse.  "Danny, any word on what happened in Egypt?"

"It was small and handled quietly without the press hearing," he said with a small smile.  "Buffy and Rupert went over to handle it.  They'll be back tomorrow.  He did have to nag Buffy into not nagging the women about their rights, but it went fine otherwise from the report he sent."

"Cool."  He grinned at the people who had went with him to Chicago.  "Are we all healed?"  They groaned but everyone nodded.  "The team that went to LA and the one in Miami too?"  They all nodded.  "Good."  He went back to eating.  "We'll probably get another easy week and then things will start building back to normal cases until around Halloween again."  That got a few groans but they knew this cycle very well.  "Oh, Danny, did I say there were some really pissed off detectives in Chicago who wanted to know why they were picking on their city?"

"You did and I got a tape of the report you gave them about why.  They said it's fixed and they're sending people to get a crash course in how to deal with demons.  They'll be here in a few days.  They're going to be setting up their own office and it'll be a cooperative effort since their mayor and the Canadian consulate said that one of their Mounties was going to be liaising with them."

"Did he agree with that?" Messer asked.

"Apparently he's been helping their detectives.  That whole unit is going to be transferred over."  That got a groan.  "They'll cut back if they see it's necessary but it's the hardass station from what we were told."  That got a few looks at him from the former cops. "They said it, not me."

"Screw ups and goofballs unite, go deal with the demons?" Danny Messer joked.

"Basically."  He dug in again.  "Horatio, you can help them with the setup up but they'll want someone tougher to deal with.  They're all the 'kick in the door to break your head open' sort of detectives from what their boss said."

"In other words a few are and the rest are normal?" Xander suggested.  That got a nod.  "That's fine.  I can go over the various weapons and why you use them plus the demonology while Sam goes over them if Horatio can do the setup, go over the cell necessities, those things."

"That's what I was hoping for."  He smiled.  "If they're in soon enough you can even go over sword work with them."  Xander grinned meanly.  "Try to be nice, Xander."

"I always try."  He dug in again when Mary added to his plate.  "Yes, Mary."

"Thank you.  We don't want you getting sick.  John can't torture us the way you do."

"Aww, that's a warm and fuzzy thought."  He gave her a hug.

"Eat, goofball," John said tolerantly.  "You two still need crossbow work."  They sighed but nodded.  "Find me when you get up and have eaten tomorrow."  They nodded again.  "Gibbs could use it too."

"Calleigh and Mac too," Xander told him.  "Whoever has not field tested on the crossbows, John's doing that tomorrow."  That got a few groans of complaint.  "As proven, you do need to be able to use them in the field.   Right, Calleigh?"  She scowled but nodded, ducking her head at the amused look her teammates gave her.  "Like all firing weapons, practice makes better targets that don't run as often when you hit them."  He dug in again when Anna added more to his plate.  "I didn't need that much."

"Yes you do.  Your mouth isn't full."  She smirked.  Gibbs swatted her.  "Ow!"

"Behave."

"Yes, Gibbs."  She dug in, adding more to hers and Mary's plate.  Mary gave her an odd look.  "Not like we need to be little and attract a boy yet."

"Good point."  They dug in and ate all they wanted.  There might even be leftovers tonight since the other girls were gone.

Gibbs and John shared a look then shook their heads and ate.  They'd need the energy to keep up with the girls.

***

Dean stopped them on the road they had been driving down.  They had a few hours until they had to show up.  It was a pretty late afternoon for a long drive.  This road had no one living up it anymore.  Dean looked at her.  "You look stunning," he said.

She smiled.  "Xander picked it out."

"He has a good eye for what's going to show you off."  He grinned. "Thankfully I know you two aren't going to hit it again.  Or else I might get jealous."

"You, jealous?" she teased with a grin.

"Every Winchester is jealous.  I remember Dad smacking one guy hard for staring at Mom."  She laughed.  "Sammy told me he got into two fights at Stanford trying to save Jess from frat boys who wanted her.  I think I could do that for you."  He brushed some hair off her cheek.  She blushed and shifted.  "Sammy packed dinner or we could hit somewhere classy.  Your choice."

"No reservations?"

"I didn't know which one you'd want.  I figured you didn't want to go to the burger place like two of the girls are."

"So we'll eat in the car?" she asked.

"Nah."  He looked over at the basket behind her seat.  "That's probably got a blanket.  If not, I'm sure I've got one in the trunk."  She gaped.  He shrugged.  "I always have one in the trunk.  We had to spend plenty of nights in the car over the years."  He stroked the steering wheel.  "It's the only home we've had since I was little."  He looked at her.

"How many girls have you brought home?" she asked.

"Four, five.  Nothing serious.  I'm older now and not into a cheap roll in the back seat."  He smiled at her.  "Unless you want me to be that unclassy."

She looked at the fabric on the roof. "I don't see hoof prints."

He laughed.  "Not my style.  Doggy style so they could try to be worthy of drooling on the seat, but not like that."  She gave him an odd look.  "They were quick rolls, Faith."

"Face-to-face is for more special and touching things," she agreed quietly.  He kissed her. She smiled.  "That was easy."

"I'm very easy.  If you want to chase, I'll run, but I figured you'd had enough running recently."

"And if I want chased?"

"Then I'm really fast and I can blindside you and bring you down really quickly," he said, moving to kiss her again.  She moaned this time, making him groan back into her lips.  He pulled back.  "It's your night."  She smirked.  "It is.  You're the one who's wearing the pretty dress."

"So if you were in the dress?" she teased.

He smirked back.  "I'd shoot Sammy for doing it to me."  She cackled, nodding.  "Want to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry yet."  She took another kiss.  "Wanna shift around?"  He moaned, getting out and pulling her around to the front of the car.  He laid her on the hood, appreciating the view.  "Am I your pinup?" she asked.

"Yup.  And more."  He leaned down to kiss her.  "It's only right since this is the only time I've done this."  He undid his tie, then his shirt.  She stroked over his chest with her nails.  He grinned, moving down to tease her throat.  She yelped when he bit because she had pinched his nipple.  "I'm going to mess up the dress."

"You won't."

"I am.  It's going to wrinkle and Xander will kill me."  She laughed.  He looked hurt.  "He will."

"He won't.  He'll make sure you'll be good to me.  Somehow I managed to have him as a big brother too."

He grinned.  "You and all the others.  At least he doesn't nag you like he does Dawn."  He found the zipper and got the dress off her, laying it beside her.  She undid his belt and pants, letting him step out of them.  His clothes went on top of hers and they slowly merged closer on the hood.  She was groaning into his mouth and he was having a lot of fun making her beg.   She finally tried to grip the car but he noticed she didn't try to scratch it.  "Scratch me, Faith.  You can mark me.  I'm not scared of you or your super strength."  She pulled him down, flipping them over.  The hood groaned under them but it didn't dent.  She climbed on top, letting him hold onto her waist.  Finally he pulled her down to kiss her, making her whimper while he did what he did best - make her happy and loud.  She finally went limp on his chest and he panted, stroking down her back.  She twitched her muscles, letting him finally come.  "Damn you're good," he whispered in her ear.  She smirked at him.  "And you look even better messed up."  He took another kiss, pulling her down to hold her.  "You can cuddle.  It's not an offer I make every day but I think it's a good time for it."

She let him hold her for now.  She needed the time to calm down.  "What was that?" she asked finally.

"That was the first time I've ever thought any girl was worth more than being face down on the backseat."

She looked up at him.  "That's kinda romantic."

He grinned.  "I can try to quote some poetry if you want but I might have to call Sammy to have him look some up."

She laughed, swatting him.  "No thanks.  Let's leave Sammy out of whatever this is between us."

"Sure.  Not into sharing that stuff with him anyway.  I tried once and he gave me the most horrified look then got the most bitchy look on his face."  She pulled him up to kiss her.  "Hmm.  Prettiness spread out on my hood."  He grinned.  "I could like that."

"You're on the bottom," she pointed out.

"I'm more than pretty enough for my hood," he teased.

She rolled her eyes but let him tease her some more since it made them both happy.  She finally came again against his fingers, staring down at him.  "You're thinking," she accused lightly.

"I was thinking that Dad wanted to take Brenda to meet some of the hunters that we've worked with.  They're nearly family in a few cases."  He took another kiss.  "I was thinking that I might like to bring you along for a vacation so they don't fuss Brenda to death?"

She considered it.  "That's a scary topic."  That was getting a lot more serious than she wanted to be.

"Yeah, to me too.  That's why I used your taste to get it out of my head."  He grinned.  "Your taste is very good at that."

"I'm good at many things," she joked.  He nodded he agreed.  "We should get dressed and show up to bounce the kids who want to do what we just did."

He checked his watch.  "We have an hour."  He took another kiss.  "Unless you want to eat?"

"I could eat."  He wiggled free and got the basket, laying out their picnic dinner.  They left their clothes on the hood, coming over to eat naked on the blanket.  It was good for them.  He pushed back in her hairpins and she kissed him for it.  And to steal the bite of strawberry he was eating.  He grinned.  She smirked back.  "They're not going to be ready for us."

"Of course they will be.  I'm sure they got told we were chaperones.  Which makes me feel so *old*."

"Yeah," she sighed.  "By slayer standards I'm ancient."

He took another kiss.  "That's because you're good at what you do."  She smiled, looking down a bit.  "I say we hunt together this summer."  She looked at him again.  "I don't have anyone ready for field trials.  You can come hunt.  Do you good to get away from the minis."

"Could," she agreed.  "We'll see."

"Cool.  I'll make sure you're up to snuff with a shotgun too."  She swatted him.  "We do a lot of spirit manifestations."

"We'll see what I can do."  She fed him another strawberry then nibbled one of her own.  He fed her the next one.  They were getting comfortable and shifting the food out of their way when his watch beeped.  "Did you set the alarm?"

"No, I think Sammy did."  He checked.  "We have a half hour to get back there."  She laughed, getting up to help him pack things away again.  "We can have it later.  Sammy arranged for us to not be at the same motel the others were at.  It's a bit farther away but this way we get a weekend being Dean and Faith instead of hunters and slayers."

"I could like that.  Got that magic fingers system?"

"I love that system," he said with a grin.  She was truly a woman after his heart.  He helped her get redressed and let her fix her makeup in the mirror while he got redressed.  She tied his tie for him and they made sure they cleaned up after themselves.  Dean paused, then looked around.  "Faith, I think we forgot something."

"I noticed that.  I'm on the pill, Dean."  He sighed in relief.   "I made *damn* sure I'm not going to end up like Crissy and Little B."  She looked up at him.  "You guys seem kinda bummed by her being on the countdown."

"It's a rebirth.  Someone decided to thank us for the help we're giving by making the child be our mom reborn as a slayer."

"That sucks.  The Powers are bastards."

"Yeah," he sighed, giving her another kiss.  "Lipstick's messy," he teased.  She swatted him and fixed it then blotted it so it wouldn't smear again.  He walked around to drive, letting her pick the music.  Something he never let Sammy do.  He liked her taste anyway so it was cool.  They got to the school and he watched the walkway the kids were going up.  "Should we?"

"Nah."

Dean parked and got out, helping her out like a gentleman.  Then he tucked her arm around his and walked her up it.  "Principal, we're here to chaperone."

"Nice timing, kids.  It's being held in the gym."  He walked them that way.  "You both look nice tonight."

"Xander did it," they said together, making him laugh.

"He's a good big brother to the slayers from what I've seen."  He showed them inside.  "You two can dance all you want.  Break up any fights, stop anyone dumping liquor in the punch bowl.  Break up any couple getting too close on the floor.  Let us know if there's a kid that's high."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Most of the slayers aren't here yet.  I'm assuming they're still eating."

"Sammy set my alarm for me," Dean said with a grin.

"He's a good big brother to them too.  I know he and Xander both made sure the girls wouldn't break any rules and they'd have a good night."  He smiled as he walked off.

Dean listened to the warm up music going on.  "Cheezy pop crap," he muttered.  She laughed but nodded. "Maybe there'll be something later."

"I think it's mandatory they have some slow dances but hopefully."  They took a tour of where everything was.  Dean found them a strategic spot near the food and punch bowls and got them seats.  Once more of the class got there the music was turned on.  The DJ was pretty good.  The music was a lot more hip.  The dress she was wearing meant that any booty shaking she did was appreciated by more than Dean.

"If you're not careful I'll have to whip some little boy's ass so he can't touch you," he said in her ear, making her laugh and turn to dance back-to-front with him.  He put his hands on her waist, letting her tease all she wanted since she liked it.  When that song was done they got some punch and went to beat the little cretin who was trying to talk his girlfriend into the bathroom.  "Making her do it won't make you any more popular, kid.  If she wants to, she'll do it.  If not, move on and find someone who will."  She huffed off.

Faith shrugged.  "Why waste your energy on the frigid."  The boy blushed but walked off to track a different girl.  Dawn gave him the brush off so he had to find someone else.  "D does smoke in that dress," she said.

"Definitely.  Thankfully I'm not her type."  Faith swatted him. "I'm not."  He grinned.  "She likes Xander's type.  I'm dangerous but not that way."  He glared at a boy trying to pour liquor into the punch bowl.  The boy backed up slowly then ran off.  "Good."  He got them some and walked her back to their seat.  There were a few couples having loud arguments.  "I really feel parental tonight.  Dad would be out there lecturing the boys on manners."  He took a drink.

"Not my type either."  One of the slayers got in one of the boys' faces to make them stop.  He ran off and went back to his buddies against the outer wall.  "Pity the geeks aren't getting it.  She's a snobby bitch from what I've heard."

"She just snubbed Amber, so yeah, she is."  He went to break up the other one.  "Kids."  They stared at him.  "Kiss and make up or take it in the hall."

"She's being a bitch and wants to have a threesome."

Dean looked at him then at her.  "I'm not against anything like that but he'd have to agree or you're going to end up without any at all.  Leave it for another night or go to the hall to finish it."  She sighed but nodded, walking off with him.  He got a few chips on the way back to his chair.  She stole one and he grinned.  "Still hungry?"

"Starved," she said, staring at him.  "I never realized why women like men in tuxes."  He smirked, quirking one eyebrow up slightly.  "It does good things for your butt, Dean."

"You can admire it all you want, Faith.  As long as I get to drool over that dress."

"No drooling on it.  Wes would pout."

"Not on, nearby."  He took a kiss.  "Dance?"

"Please.  Before I grow roots."  He laughed, taking her back out there.  They casually stopped the boy dragging his woman off to go outside when she was complaining by breaking his hold on her arm.  She ran off and he sulked.  One of the other chaperones got the boy to talk to him.  Dean and Faith danced a few more songs before the bad thing happened.

"Damn it, I thought it was only my sister that had that happy time curse," Dawn said hotly when the vampires broke in.

"There's no way she spread it to the rest of us, D.  Chill.  We can handle it."  She and the girls found their stakes.  "Ladies, let's try not to get messy."

"Then let me," Dawn said, raising her hands.  Light went off with a crack above the vamps, dusting all but the one cowering under the doorframe.  "Aww.  That one can tell you who sent him."

"Eww," one girl said.  "It's dusty."

"They make brooms," Brenda told her.  She found one and dusted them off, then looked at the last vamp.  "Who sent you?"

"You're...."  He sniffed and frowned.  "How did that happen?"

"Witches.  Who're already punished."  She leaned on the broom.  "Well?"  He tried to back up.  She used the broom's handle to knock him down then hit him with the bristle end. "You're ruining our happy night," she said plainly.  "Who.  Sent.  You?  Before I have to make Faith be mean."

"Which one are you!" he shouted.

She leaned down with a grin.  "Brenda."

"Awh, shit!"

"Basically, but quit swearing at the little one."  She stared at him.  "Who.  Sent.  You?"

"The Master thought it'd be cute if it looked like Buffy's celebration curse had been passed on," he said, trying to crawl backward.

"Which master?" Brenda asked.  She heard a cough.  "Hey, Spike."

"Let Spike question him," Dawn offered.  "Before you get messy, Bren."

"Sure."  She hauled him up and handed him over.  "Someone sent him."  The vampire moaned when Spike sniffed.

"Smells like Aqua Velva.  Has to be the guy the next town over."  He walked him off.  "Have a good dance.  Beats the hellhounds Slutty had."

"Yeah, it does," Dawn agreed.  She dusted Brenda off and checked her hair.  "There you go."  She smiled.

"Didn't your sister have one of those?" Faith asked.

"Yeah, but that was a spring fling dance in ninth grade.  She ended up burning down the gym full of vampires.  Still beats the hellhounds sent to attack anyone wearing formal gear at her prom."

The other girls nodded.  "It does," Brenda agreed.  She got her date some punch.  "Here you go."

"Witches really made you pregnant?" he asked over the restarting music.  She nodded.  "And you're okay with that?"

"No but I'm no longer curled up in a ball on John's bed muttering.  Or eating ice cream."  He smiled and relaxed.  "It's cool.  She'll be named after John's lost wife and John agreed she could be a Winchester from birth."  That got a brighter smile.

He let her take him back onto the floor.  "You looked good with the broom."

"Thank you.  I train very hard most of the time."  She grinned.  "Now and then we all call off for cocoa breaks."

He laughed.  "I can see why.  Where are you going after school?"

"I'm thinking that the vocational school has a business class I'll be taking.  Some day I'm going to be training the other girls and hunters.  That'll help me with that."  He smiled and nodded.  "You?"

"Ohio State," he said with a sheepish grin.  "I'm thinking education but I'm not sure.  I'll take my first semester to dabble in a few departments."

"That's cool.  I couldn't stand that much more school but I'm sure you'll do great at it."  He beamed at that.  "Did you have plans for later?  The lock-in or in town?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd not want the lock in."

"I'm cleared to stay out all night as long as I don't drink or try drugs," she said, moving closer.  "Actually, that could be kinda helpful since I wasn't really...involved in her creation."  He gaped.  She shrugged.  "I wasn't.  They got me one day after school."

"Wow."  He nodded.  "I can do that but I'm still leaving in a few months."

"I'm not looking for a long-term boyfriend.  John would pout that I was growing up too fast.  He's enjoying being a dad."

"That's cool then.  Anyone else staying out?"

"Most of us.  Dawn's got her own room set up at the motel.  She's got freakish magic stuff that can happen if she gets too happy."  He gaped.  "That's why she's got it contained."

"Oh.  So not spell?"

"No, only to make sure she doesn't get too happy and, well, as the saying goes sneeze up a new world."

"Ah.  So just to keep it in there?"  She nodded, shifting closer.  "He knows?"

"Yeah, he knows. He also knows it's not him but they're buddies that way."  He smiled and nodded.  "She handles her own thing."

"Hellhounds?"

"Yeah.  It's gotta suck majorly to be Buffy.  One year her birthday party had zombies."  He gaped.  She nodded.  "She doesn't go to any celebrations anymore unless they're city-wide in Cleveland."  He laughed.  "Then again, she's the senior slayer so she got to go to Egypt recently.  They said she nagged some of the women and had to be reined in by Giles."

"She sounds pushy."

"Now and then," Shea agreed.  "Hands off the butt, kids."  They sighed but moved their hands.  "Me or Faith," she joked.

"Faith said there's nothing bad with groping as long as the gropee is cool with it," Brenda said with a grin.

Shea gave her an odd look.  "Aren't you the *good* girl?"

"Well, yeah."  She looked at her date.  "Did you mind the minor groping?"

"It was good for me," he assured her.  They went back to it when Shea walked off to complain to Faith.

"It's only groping if he's going to cop a good feel between her thighs or she's got her hands down his pants, Shea.  Calm down," Faith ordered.

"I know he'll respect her because he doesn't want me to show up with Dad and both of us having shotguns," Dean told her.  She walked off shaking he head.

"Is your dad gonna do that to me?" Faith asked.

"Only if you try to run if we have an accident like Crissy," he joked.  "If you run from me for any other reason he'll send Sammy to make sure it's because I was being a bastard while I get the lecture from hell."

"What if I just wanna run because you've got scary thoughts?"

"Then I'd avoid Sammy," he assured her.

"I can ditch him."

"You sure?  Sammy may not be the hunter we are, but he's not bad.  Especially if you piss him off."

"I'll take that warning."

He leaned down next to her ear.  "I'd hunt you myself if it was for any reason other than I scared you," he promised.  She shivered, looking up at him.  He grinned.  "I would.  I have naughty girl sensing radar."  She laughed, swatting him.  "I do.  Look at all the girls who want me."

"You sure it's not bad girl sensing radar?"

"You're not a bad girl anymore, Faith.  If Poof the Magic Vampire in LA and Spike can find the light, so can you."  He kissed her.  "I know you're not as dark as you were.  None of us are the same as we were at that age."  She nodded at that.  He dipped her then pulled her back up with a smug look.  "Besides, I like you being naughty.  You're great the way you are."

She blushed.  "Mushy."

"It's a Sammy based infection," he said dryly.  "He has some online girlfriend he's been chatting with at night.  I think it spread from the couch to me."

She laughed.  "Could be.  The girls will be disappointed."

"She's in Brazil.  They'll see it as a good sign to start hunting him for real."  He turned her around to dance against his stomach again.  "When do we get to vanish?" he whispered.

"I can feel what's on your mind, Dean.  Not for hours yet.  Like one in the morning."

"Pity."  He nibbled on her throat.  "Bathroom?"

"That'd make us the bad influence."  He pointed at Shea, who was dirty dancing with some guy.  "Never mind.  Smack her and then we'll run off."  Dean pulled something out of his jacket pocket and aimed the slingshot, hitting her on the bare shoulder.  He glared and she straightened up.  He put it up with a grin and walked Faith off.  "Getting some air," she quipped.

"Nice slingshot hit," the teacher said.  "Don't be too obvious or use the english classroom.  Someone's already tried that, kids."  They laughed, going to hide in a closet.

Dean pushed her against a wall, getting into it with her, making her moan and wrap her legs around his waist.  Good, fast, and hard.  Just how they liked it.

Dawn shook her head.  "They're cute together."  Her date gave her an odd look.  "Dean and Faith just snuck off."

"Ah.  She did look fantastic.  Nearly as good as you do."

She smiled.  "I know she's hotter.  She dressed up to make him drool."  He laughed.  She led him to get some punch then back onto the floor.  "I miss having a club in easy walking distance.  Sunnydale had one that was all ages."

"That would be pretty cool.  The college you'll hit will have one I'm sure."

"Hopefully.  Though Giles wants me to go to Oxford.  Wes too."  She shrugged, shifting to dance better.  "We'll have to see."

"They'll pay for it?"

"Yup.  All Watchers go through a program there."  She smirked.  "Language heavy of course.  With fencing classes, etiquette, history, and strategy pushed in here and there."

"They want you guys to be really well rounded."

"Yup.  Then again, in the field it's you and your girl."  She shrugged.  "Xander would make a killer watcher but he'd hate to watch her go out every night.  That's why he's in training instead."

"He didn't seem too bad from what I've seen when we've run into him."

"He's the most overprotective big brother.  Even worse than Dean and Sam are.  Especially about me."  She smirked.  "Tonight he's relaxed and having flashbacks to his own.  He dated a seriously bad girl.  She had been a vengeance demon who lost her powers."  He gaped.  She nodded.  "He said she spent most of the night telling him how she did her job."

"That's... bad.  Really, really bad."

"Yeah, but we loved Anya anyway.  He nearly married her."

"Wow.  That's strange for someone in that job."

"She was human.  She liked him.  He dealt with it."  She shrugged.  "My sister dated a vampire for a while.  Most hunters aren't that open but we're special," she said with a happy grin.

"I can tell."  He winked at her.  "The cheerleader hos are watching."

She turned and waved, dancing more provocatively.  They stomped off in a sulk.  She quit and turned back to grin at him.  "I hate sulky bitches."

He burst out laughing.  It was clearly going to be a good night.  They both winced when Brenda got stuff spilled on her without anyone being nearby.  "I think that's your people."

She looked then walked over to lead her out to the bathroom.  "I'll get them in a minute."  She sent the spell back at them.  She heard a shriek and smiled.  "Looks like they got each other."

"The dress is ruined," she moaned, wiping at the stain.

"It's all right, Brenda.  We have plans for this too."  She pulled out her phone to call Dean, getting a panting, raspy breathed slayer instead.  "Did we bring down an extra dress in case of spills?  One of the witches got Brenda."  She nodded.  "Thanks."  She hung up and summoned it.  "Sammy packed the car."

She hugged her, looking at the dress.  "I can't wear that," she squeaked.

Dawn looked then shook her head.  "No, I don't think you should.  I have no idea who got that one."  She put it on the door and concentrated at the base.  They had two spares because girls hadn't been able to go after all.  One came flying down to them.  She walked outside to get it then brought it back.  And the other one too.  She looked then shrugged, walking it inside.  "Tara magicgrammed one."  She handed them over.  Brenda looked at the dark blue one then at the white one.  "I'd say the white.  The blue looks a bit tight and won't go with your hair."  Faith walked in.  "Tara magicgrammed one."

"That's cool."  She looked.  "Wear the white, Little B."  She went into the stall to change.  "Any other issues?"

"The girls tried to give me the runs," Brenda said.  "I took the medicine but they're still trying."

"That's probably the poison from the last thing," Dawn said, digging into her purse.  She tossed in a vial.  "There, try that."  She tossed in some baby wipes too.  A teacher came in.  "It was mean of them to attack her."

"It was.  Is she all right?"

"She's fine.  Getting cleaned up and redressed," Faith promised with a smile.  The door opened and a bag was handed in.  "What's this?"

"Xander sent it."  Dean left again.

"Huh."  She looked then stared.  "That's going to look hot on her."  She put it over the door.  "Pick one."

She squeaked once she saw it.  "I'll look like one of the ho patrol," she complained.

"Try it on," Dawn said patiently.  "You might not.  Besides, how often do you get to wear slinky stuff?"

Brenda came out with the white dress on.  "The anti-venom worked.  Thank you, Dawn.  What if it happens again?"

"Pad.  That's how I did it until House found the antidote."  She adjusted the halter top.  "I don't like this white one as much out of the bag."

Faith looked then adjusted the girdle around it.  "Looks kinda old fashioned."  She got the other for her.  "Try it on."  She went to try it on but refused to come out.  Faith muscled her way in and looked then gaped.  "Damn, girl.  Where are you hiding a rack like that?"  Dawn laughed.  "If you're comfy in the white, we'll handle it."  She backed out, shaking her head.  "I couldn't pull it off."

Dawn smiled.  "If I get messy, I know what to grab."

"The blue one.  You don't have the titties for that other one."

"Damn."  She came out in the white one but they grimaced.  "There's no way unless we do surgery on that thing."

"It's very flowing.  Very Tara," Faith agreed.  Brenda huffed.  Faith looked the dress over.  "Ah-ha, a pin."  She let down the rest of the skirt. That turned it into a white flowing mass with a small train, a girdle around the middle with blue embroidery, and a halter top.  "I still like the black one better," Faith said.

Dawn looked.  "You look pretty but it looks like a wedding dress."  Brenda moaned, holding her head.  "Try the blue?"

"Nah.  It'll clash with her eyes."  Faith considered it.  "You can if you want, Little B, but I like the black one better."

She looked at herself, then adjusted the halter tighter and found how to take off the girdle.  "That helps some."  She looked at herself.   "How do I handle a train?"  Dawn showed her the wrist loop and she looked at herself.  "I look cute, not hot."

"You look like you just got married," Faith joked.  She sighed.  The door opened and something was thrown in.  Dawn blocked it but had to change to the blue dress.  Brenda checked, there was some stuff on the hem so she changed into the black one.  She and Dawn exchanged shoes with Faith getting Brenda's original pair and it was good.  They walked out with the teacher, letting Dean have the bags.  "Who threw it?"

"She's miserable in the office."  He stared at Brenda, then at Faith.  "You're hotter," he assured her.  Faith pinched him.  "You do look very hot, Brenda.  Thankfully, you're my little sister."  She blushed and hurried back inside with Dawn.  He went to put the extras in the car and came back.  "She okay?"

"Embarrassed.  It shows she's stacked."

"They're both stacked," Dean said.  "You're still prettier."  She swatted him this time, giving him a look.  "You are.  Brenda may be built like a brick brothel in that dress.  Dawn may look like a high class wench ready to eat you after teasing and playing with you, but you're prettier than them both."  She blushed and swatted him again but let him lead her back into the gym.  Dawn's date was gaping in awe at them.  Brenda's date was praying to his God.  They broke up the fight.  "Ladies, be good."

"Of course I am," Dawn said with a sweet grin.  "I haven't kicked her ass yet."  Dean smirked.  "I know.  Let the officials handle it."  She walked off with Brenda on her arm, returning her to her date.  "All yours for tonight."  She found hers and smiled.  "Still look good?"

"Damn, girl," he said in awe.  She laughed, giving him a gentle swat.  "Where did that one come from?"

"We were originally going to have two more of us going tonight but their dates backed out.  Brenda nearly wore a white one but someone threw something into the bathroom.  It splattered her hem.  She looked like a bride in it."  He smiled at that, dancing her off to the latest slow song.

Dean and Faith shook their heads.  The kids were so strange sometimes.  Faith managed to help Dawn catch her dress when someone unzipped it on her, adding a pin to the zipper under the top line of silk ribbon.  "There we go," Faith said, backing off.  "Adjust yourself if you can."  She turned to face Faith and be shielded by her, adjusting her top.  "Good job, D."  She walked off, letting Dean make her dance again.  "Think if we had went to ours, we'd be more relaxed?"

"Nope.  It's the responsibility thing."  She grimaced.  "It's cool.  We're doing good so far.  All the troublemakers but that one group is gone."  He walked after the boy heading to the punch bowl, taking his pint of rum.  "Thanks, could use this later, dude."  He walked off again.  The boy pouted.  "Tough.  Suck it up."

"Or find a nice boyfriend," Dawn quipped.  The boy gave her a horrified look.  "That'd make you both happier."  He fled.  She looked up.  "It would."

"Probably.  Do you have a problem with gay people?"

"Hell no.  I'm hoping Xander decides it's more than stress relief and picks one of the agents to date."

He smiled.  "That's good to know."  They danced off for a nibble then got back onto the floor.  The rest of the troublemakers went to party in the woods.  "Is someone watching them?"

"Mac and Stella pulled that duty.  Mac's a former Marine.  Stella's one tough lady.  If they get into trouble, it'll be fine."  Her phone beeped so she found it and looked.  "Crap.  Bad timing, sister dear."  She concentrated on making one to the base using the picture she had sent with the message they needed to come home now.  Then she went back to dancing once her phone was up.  It was her night and she was going to relax, shine, and get some boyfriendish action in, no matter which boy she brought to the motel.

***

Danny and Don looked at each other later that night.  "Think we should go help Mac?"

"He called in and said there's only ten kids at that party.  Nothing's attacked so far.  Even though it's the full moon, they're drunk, and being stupid young kids.  They got the vamps that tried the prom.  It's all good.  We get a night off."  He nudged Danny on the shoulder.  "We gotta talk anyway, Messer."

"I've been avoiding that talk."

"I noticed that."  Don grinned.  "So.  Any deeper thoughts?"

"I do like you, Don."

"Ditto.  But what about that publicity problem we have?"

"That I'm not real sure about.  Still.  I'm not sure I can stand Mac up close and that personal, ya know?"

"Yup."  He put an arm around his shoulders.  "Could be worse.  Xander's fun but hell on the nerves."

Danny grinned.  "I've dated girls like Xander, only a bit less violent, before."  Don smirked back.  "It was fun."

"Very but you had to worry about the wildness I'm sure."

"Yup.  It's like gentling someone to your hand pettin' 'em again."  Don nodded at that. "Mac's just too uptight sometimes," Danny complained.

"That's because he doesn't let himself have fun."

"Which is a major problem.  We don't get much downtime."

"We get plenty and Mac only has to be shown."

"You want this?"

"I don't know.  I've been trying to stay neutral but I have the feeling if we don't, Claire's going to come back and beat us soon."  Danny laughed.  "Stella agreed when I asked her."

"I heard she was a stubborn woman."  They shared a look and smiled.  "So, what're we doing about it?"

"We should probably talk to him more."

"We should."

"He's out in the woods tonight.  Lots of drunk kids avoiding the prom."

"Yay him," Danny said dryly.  "That leaves us a whole night off, huh?"

"Yup."  They shared another smile and went back to Don's apartment.  The one next to him was empty at the moment.  They could be as loud as they wanted.

***

Daniel and Jack looked across the card game at the noise coming from the kitchen.  "Get out of the cookies!" Danny yelled.

"No!  And you can't make me!"

Daniel got up to look in on her.  "What's wrong?"

"I feel like shit," she complained.  "My date dumped me two weeks ago.  I'm going to miss my prom."

"You're not graduating until next year.  You can go then with a better boy."

She shook her head.  "They don't like slayers.  We're too tough."

"Who told you that?"

"My mother."  She pouted.

Daniel shook his head.  "Plenty of boys appreciate strong women."

"Sam doesn't have any problems getting dates," Jack called.

"See?  And she was strong and pretty stubborn before she got chosen."  She nodded at that, still looking down.  "Not every girl can be a tiny, delicate thing.  You're still tiny and delicate, even if you can bench press me or Jack."  That got a small smile.  "He's an idiot."

"He said he dumped me because I was too good of a girl.  I told mom that, she said I was stupid to not put out if I wanted him."

"I think we'd rather have you wait until you're ready and you're sure you want it," Daniel said patiently.

She looked at him.  "My mother apparently thinks we're all sluts."

"Your mother's wrong."  Though he was going to talk to John about talking to her mother for her.  Parent to parent.

"I know."  She nibbled on a cookie.  "Can't I sulk to cookies?"

"A few.  Not the whole package.  Xander will want some later while he worries about Dawn and the others."

"Sure.  Where is Xander?  I haven't seen him since dinner."

"No clue," he admitted.  "I don't think he's at his place.  He and Sam might be hanging out.  Or him and Ryan.  Or possibly Tony."  She nodded, taking her handful of cookies back to the dorm.  He came out.  "Her mother needs to give better advice."

"She probably thinks they were more serious than they were."

"Or she gives bad advice.  She said she was too strong to get a good boy."

Jack snorted.  "Bet me.  None of the girls are that tough except Shea and Faith."

"Faith can be but she's got a squishy core was how Sam put it."  Jack smirked at that.  "Especially for Dean.  I know Sam went behind his back to change his hotel reservation to somewhere the other girls weren't."

"Good for him.  They could use a weekend off."

"They're taking some time later this summer to visit some family friends with Brenda."

"Introduce the might-as-well-be daughter around?"

"Yup, and first grandchild.  John's still pissed at those witches but he's looking forward to having the baby around."

"He'll do fine.  He did with the boys."  He put down his next card.  Daniel picked up his hand to put down his.  Jack took the discard and put down a set.  "When is Xander going on vacation?"

"Probably right before halloween.  He doesn't have too many hours saved up at the moment."  That got a nod.  He heard feet go running past.  "Is it an emergency?" he yelled.

"No!" Xander called back.  "Crissy's in labor!"  Dawn finally answered the text message, sending him out there.  "Aww," he said, helping her sit up.  "Want the base or here?"

"Here?" she begged.  "We're all set up here.  Even shielded."

"Sure.  House was right behind me."  She nodded, clinging to him.  "It'll be okay.  You managed to heal from that demon spike in the gut last year.  You can handle pushing out my newest minion of evil."  She gave him a dirty look.  "I'm told babies never sleep."

"Wonderful!"  She panted, squeezing her eyes shut.  "Where is House?" she demanded.

"Right here.  I was scrubbing," he said as he came in.  He looked at her.  "First, no clothes from the waist down at least.  Are you doing this in here or a water birth?"

"Water birth?" she demanded, panting hard.

"Where you deliver in a darker than average room into water so the baby comes out into an environment he or she is used to?"

"Oh."  She shrugged.  "I have no fucking clue!"

"That's a good labor pain."  He helped Xander get her undressed.  "Are we here alone?"

"Connor had a flashback to the baby demon being born and fled for a beer with Don Epps.  Charlie's supposed to be on his way to fuss with Alan.  The others are out on patrol," she ground out.  He nodded, looking at her.  "Do you have to do that?"

"Not like I can deliver it without looking," he said dryly.  "I'll have to touch to check how far you're dilating too."

"Damn it.  My boyfriend's going to be jealous."

"Not if he knows what's good for him," Xander said dryly.  She sighed, laying back.  "Is the tub here a good size?"

"No.  I have to have my knees up."  Xander went to look.  "Think it's possible?"

"Probably not."  He shook his head.  "It's only four feet long.  The back's sloped."

"That may do."  He went to look, sitting down in it.  He came back with a nod.  "Go clean it, kid."  Xander went to do that.  "If you want."

"Will it hurt less?"

"The warm water may lessen some of the cramps."

"Shit.  Only may?"  He gave her a vial of the safe painkiller, getting a hug for it.  "I love you, Doctor House."

"Tell me that after the kid's kept you up for seven days straight with colic," he said dryly.  He heard the shower come on.  "Rinsing already?"

"Yeah."  He came out. "It's rinsing itself out so there's no cleaners.  It wasn't that bad."  House gave him an odd look.  "That wasn't mold, it was paint flecks."

"Oh."  He went to check.  It looked clean enough.  "Fine.  Warm, just over body temperature but not too hot."

"Of course."  He finished rinsing things off and got the water started.  "No bubbles, right?"

"No, no bubbles," House said, rolling his eyes.  She laughed.  "Let's walk you around.  They say gravity does some of the work for us."  She nodded, letting him help her up and into a bathrobe so they could walk around.  "How long ago did your water break?"

"It broke at nine."

He looked at the clock.  "Ten minutes before we got here.  Should be by tomorrow afternoon at the latest."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Some women go fast.  Some women can be in labor for thirty-six to forty-eight hours with the first one."

"I'll fucking gut myself," she promised.  "Please cut it out if it goes that long?"

"If you're not making good progress I will."  She nodded, letting him help her walk around.  They had to stop and lean now and then - him on his cane and her on the wall during contractions - but that was normal.  Xander came out and picked her up, carrying her in there.  "Damn you're strong," House joked.

"I used to work construction.  Now they're sword-related muscles."  He put her into the bath once she was down to her bra.  "There you go.  Rest.  Relax.  Let the baby decide it wants to come out."  She nodded, chewing on her lip.  "No cannibalism."  She pulled his hand over to chew on instead.  "No drinking the blood either.  I don't know what the mermaid taint will do to the little swimmer in there."

"Yes, Xander."  She bit him extra hard when the next contraction started.  House moved her onto her side for some ease.  She got comfortable and it was nice, even if Xander would look like a nubby toothed cannibal had tried to eat him by the morning.

Connor stuck his head in.  "Is she done yet?"

"Could take days, Connor," Xander said, looking back at him.  "Where's Alan and Charlie?"

"They have a flat tire.  They're on their way over once Don goes to change it."  He came in.  "I'm sorry they did this to you, Crissy."

"If it lasts much past tomorrow morning, I'm gutting myself to get her out."

Connor nodded.  "Sure, I can see that.  Why are you chewing on Xander?"

"To keep from screaming at the pain, Connor," House said.  "Babies are large.  Like the size of that pillow out there large."  He looked and shuddered.  "They come out of a ten centimeter hole that's presently rearranging the muscles in her lower half."  He squeezed his thighs together, cupping his dick.  "Exactly.  Each contraction pushes the baby down some against those muscles that're pulling back.  Each part of that hurts and she'll be screaming a lot during labor.  I've given her something but too much pain killer is a bad thing for her and the baby."

"Okay.  Why is she in the bathtub?"

"Babies are surrounded by a sac of water inside her; that's why she doesn't get hurt if she stumbles," Xander told him. "This way the baby comes out into a similar environment.  Get new light bulbs to put in here.  Seventy-fives or sixties."  He nodded, going to do that.  "Then chip some ice for her to suck on."

"In the old days they used to make fussy men boil water," House told him.

"Why?  We can clean the baby off in here," he said dryly.  House laughed.  He heard a thump and looked out there to find him breaking up a bag of ice.  "Ice chips like the ones you get from sodas at the movies, Connor."

"Sure, I can do that.  How many?"

"Prepare for the worst and she'll need them until she delivers."

"Can she have a sno cone?"

"I don't know.  House?"

"Shouldn't hurt.  That's just flavored ice.  Sure, Connor, that's fine."

"Crissy?  Grape?"

"Or cherry if we have it.  Either's fine, Con.  Thanks."

"Welcome."  He brought in one a few minutes later then went back to finding the other light bulbs.  He finally called and had Don bring him some.  He went back to stabbing ice to break it apart.  It was helpful, he didn't have to listen to her scream in pain, and it kept him from staring at her mostly naked body.  He was being helpful and good.

***

Daniel looked around the next morning.   "Xander isn't back  yet?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Huh.  Girls, Crissy started off in labor last night."  They cheered.  "The ones coming back from their prom?"

"Probably lunch time," John said.  "Except Faith and Dean, who're taking the weekend off."

"That's fine.  Let me know when you guys are going to head on that roadtrip.  That way I can make sure Xander doesn't pull an out-of-town case."  That got a nod.  They settled in to wait, a few calling LA to get an update.  Daniel looked over.  "Anything?"

"Crissy's screaming to give her daughter back."  She hung up.  "Xander and Don Epps just killed the demon that came for her."  They all groaned.  "Slayer blood."

House stomped in twenty minutes later.  "She's a healthy little slimy girl.  Nineteen inches, just over five pounds."  The girls cheered.  "Her brother is a little bastard who tried to eat off Charlie Epps."  They all stared.  "He was hiding, that's why we didn't see him on the ultrasounds.  He's just under five pounds and he's fully healthy.  They're at term.  I called her local doctor to update him.  He said he'd bring them in for a check up this week."  They all cheered.  "Xander and Don Epps killed the demon that came in to eat them.  He's marked runes around their bed to protect them and given the girls permission to slay anything they're worried about."  That got a few laughs.  "It was a good water birth even if I do have to bandage Xander's hand since she bit him a few times."  Daniel nodded.  "I'm going to bed."

"Go," Daniel agreed.  "Let Chase know and make any notes you need."  That got a nod and he left.  He had already done the notes.  "That's good news.  If Dawn's not too tired maybe she can let some of you go take pictures if Xander doesn't bring back any."

"If Connor doesn't knock him out and kick him out of LA," Anna said with a happy grin.  "Last time they had to work together, Connor felt his manhood threatened by Xander and they had some alpha dog fights."  That got a head shake from some of the girls.  "You wait.  They'll knock Xander out for fussing and send him back with pictures."

"Don't want to see the baby?" Kim teased.

"They're small and they scare me," she said honestly.  "I'm not ready to coo over babies yet."  She dug in.

"When you are, I'll threaten your boyfriend for you," Gibbs assured her.  She smiled, shrugging a bit to show it was okay then ate some more.  "Twins are going to drive them nuts."

"They have four slayers in LA right now.  I'm sure they can handle crying.  Connor might even be used to it from them being girls," Anna said.

"Not all girls cry," Kim told her.

"Crissy's been having mood swings that make her cry.  I'm sure he didn't get to escape all of them."

"No, probably not," Gibbs agreed.  "The only way to avoid those is to not be there and then you get yelled at for not being there."

"Pregnant women make no sense," Mary complained.

"It's the hormones.  Just wait until they rule your lives too," Sam said cheerfully as he came in.  "Crissy?"

"Boy and a girl," Gibbs said with a smile.

"Connor's got to be going nuts.  He wasn't sure he could handle one around when it needed diapers."  He sat down.  "Any word from the ones off base?"

"Dawn's boyfriend called to make sure she wasn't casting funny stuff on him," Gibbs said.  "I told him how it was to contain her magic so it didn't go out when she got too happy the first time.   Had to do it twice before he understood it wouldn't eat him too."

"He okay with that?"

"Yeah.  Eventually.  He finally asked her and she told him about the special artifact that had influenced her life and how it could create portals if she got too happy and bled at the same time.  He agreed that was fine and did it for her anyway.  Did something happen?"

"A few girls decided to try Brenda and Dawn.  They had to do a sudden dress change in the center," Sam said. "I'm expecting new pictures from them.  We sent down three good options."

"Is she back yet?"

"No," Sam said with a grin.  "She's a big girl too, Gibbs.  She wanted to fix it so she knew what she missed by the witches doing that to her."

Gibbs nodded.  "She's at the right age to wonder.  How are you guys doing with the uncle thing?"

"We're good.  Dean's stoked.  Dad's almost whistling most of the time.  She's more upset than we are at the moment.  It means she's off training and situations until after she's back in shape."

"She can do some training," Gibbs offered.  "Not the all-out, fight training she does now but there's pregnant women in sports and the military who keep up with their training."  Sam nodded at that.  "O'Neill, when your base's women got pregnant what did they do to keep up with PT?"

"They weren't allowed.  They got transferred out."  He looked over.  "I'll ask some of our docs about it, Sam."  That got a grin and a nod.  "You might want to call to check on Connor and Xander since he's out there."

"Connor will knock him out and send him back if he gets too fussy."

The agents laughed.  The girls knew the truth.  Connor would be mean to their Xander and make the slayers out there swat him for being so mean.

Olivia Benson walked in.  "I've got two of the younger girls in the car, guys," she told Gibbs and Sam.  They stared at her.  "One had a fight with her boyfriend.  He brought another girl to play with them."  Gibbs growled.  "The cops handed her over after breaking it up and telling his mother he was a little shit.  The other one wanted a ride.  She's tired but looks happy."

"I'll come get them," Gibbs said, finishing his coffee.  "Don't touch my plate or coffee, girls."  He walked out with her, smiling at the pouting girl.  "Did you hit him?"

"No.  I wanted to.  I wanted to turn him into a greasy spot."

"That's reasonable.  We're eating."  She went to put up her stuff then find food.  He and Olivia got Dawn out of the car, carrying her up to her room.  "Why is she so exhausted?"

"Her room looked like a tornado hit it.  Is that common for virgin witches?"

"Strong ones I think.  Not real sure.  You'd have to ask her teachers.  Her date?"

"Safe.  He called over there when she wouldn't wake up.  He said it was strange but if it had gotten free it probably would've destroyed the building."  He nodded.  "If the others need a ride, they know they can come to us."

"Thanks.  We had two who got dumped and didn't go."

"I understand that.  I didn't see Dean's car."

"Sam arranged for them to be farther away for the weekend."

"They probably need it," she agreed with a small smile.  "Any other good news I can pass back?"

"Crissy had one of each.  A bit small but healthy according to House."  A portal opened and Xander got dumped through it.  "How's the kids?"

"Fine.  Sleeping thankfully," Connor said.  "He wanted to take our fussing spot.  Let him fuss over Brenda."

"The Winchesters are doing that," Olivia said.

"So let him knock up one of the others!  We get to fuss over Crissy!"  He looked at Dawn.  "What happened to her?"

"Prom aftermath," Olivia said.  "Ask Don," she ordered at the confused look.  Connor nodded and the portal closed.  She hauled Xander up, smacking him on the cheek until he woke up.  "Hi.  They said you were too fussy."

"They're the first babies I've been around."  He got free.  "Thanks, guys."  He looked at Dawn.  "Backlash?"

"Looked like a tornado but whatever she did held.  The building's standing."

"Good!  No portals?"

"Not that the guy said," she told him. "Brigit's boyfriend tried to share her with another girl.  The cops broke it up before she gave in to her instincts and beat him to death."  She walked off smiling.

"It's natural to want to fuss, Xander.  We'll get to fuss once little Mary's born."  He pouted, shaking his head.  "We will.  Even Dean and Sam have to sleep sometime."  Xander laughed at that, heading off with him. "It's breakfast.  Did you bring pictures?"

"If they sent the camera."  He patted himself down, finding it under his shirt.  "Here we are."  He looked at them.  "I think that's a problem."  He called Connor.  "I looked at the pictures.  The one of the little boy looks like a death head mask.  I don't know, Connor.  See if one of the witches Dawn studies with can come down.  Oh, in hiding.  Okay.  Um... ask Lorne?" he suggested, walking again.  "Yeah, totally looked like a death mask.  Please."  He nodded.  "I don't want to worry about him going or her being hurt, Connor, the same as you don't.  Please.  Let me know.  I'll hold off showing them off."  He hung up.  "He'll have someone check."

"You think it's an omen?"

"No, I think everything we did to test it and all the ultrasounds only picked out one baby that we thought was a girl," he told him.  "I have no idea why though."  They shared a look and went to breakfast.  He sat down beside Sam.  "They're having Lorne or someone in to check over the babies to make sure they're going to be okay.  Then Connor will send over pictures."  The girls all smiled at that.  "She will need more clothes and stuff."

"Can we have the shopping card?" Kim asked hopefully.

"Sure.  It's in the office in Wes's desk."  They cheered and went to get Wesley up so he could hand over his key.

"That poor mall," Sam said quietly, cracking Gibbs up.   He checked, even the youngest had went to get in on the shopping.  "Pictures?"  Xander let him see.  "Huh.  That's strange."

"That's why I called and had him check," Xander said quietly.  Sam nodded, handing the camera back.  "Anything else good happen?  I heard about Dawn's mini tornado and Brigit's boy ho."

"Just that so far," Sam said.  "I expect the rest will be in for lunch."  That got a nod and he dug in too.  Since the girls had nicely left them some food today.

"Is there something we might help Crissy and them with?" Stella asked.

"Nope.  Strangeness on the picture."  He shrugged.  "We'll see."  She nodded.  "How was the drunken party in the woods?"

"Good up until they decided to enact a pagan dancing around the fire naked thing and a spirit got called up," Mac said grimly.   "They scared the crap out of themselves."

"Literally in a few cases," Stella said with a mean grin.

"But it got banished?" Sam asked.

"We did," Mac promised.  "It had a Native American headdress of some sort.  The digital camera did pick it up.  We have it noted and got the cops to cart all the kids home once we got it banished.  No sign of the local werewolf."

"Good," Xander agreed.  "I know they said they'd call if kids didn't show up by a reasonable hour today."  That got a mass nod.  "I always thought the prom was like a rich guy's version of an unpagan beltane."  Sam gave him the oddest look.  "Beltane is a planting and renewal ceremony, yes?"  Sam nodded slowly.  So did a few of the agents.  "Prom is to celebrate the starting of a new life.  In the old days, lots of girls got pregnant, just like on Beltane, usually virgins having their first time.   They danced, had picnics, then romped in the woods.  We have good dinners, dance, then go romp in motels.  I'm sure they celebrated people going to the celebration for the first time.  So do we.  They probably dressed up.  We dress up in fussy clothes that cost a whole lot more.  We flash breast and ass to entice mates.  They probably did the same."

"You really thought that out," Sam said in awe.

"I had to do something while Crissy was in labor with the second baby.  Besides, I've been thinking about this since my prom.  Anya kept complaining it wasn't like the spring celebrations or adulthood celebrations she'd been to in the past."

"When Speed said you had odd thoughts, I didn't think he meant that strange, kid," Gibbs complained.

"No, he has a point," Daniel said.  "There are some similarities."

"See," Xander said with a point.  "And he's an anthropologist.  They study that stuff."

"You could go to school to study that," Gibbs offered.

"Ewww.  I hate school!"

"So next time he gets possessed he'll have to suck in an anthropologist."  Xander glared at him.  "Joking, Xander.  Just joking," he said with a grin.  "I didn't mean it like that."

"Fine."

"With the way Danny boy here dies and comes back, make sure it's not him, kid," Jack called over.

"Not funny, Jack.  Though, I did hear you could be open to that too."

"No thanks.  I think I'd rather stab myself in the head repeatedly."  He shook his head quickly.

"Possessed people do that too," Ryan joked.  "You're not hearing odd voices, right?"

"I've been taken over before and, no, I'm not.  Thank you anyway, Wolfe."

Ryan just smirked.  "Always happy to help."  Jack walked off shaking his head.  "Xander," he added once the older man was out of hearing.   Xander snickered.  So did Daniel and Stella.  "You guys got to be possessed before?  What's it like?"

"Classified," Daniel said firmly.

"Pity."  He looked over.  "Xander, what's being possessed like since we're on the topic."

"It's like suddenly having a very nosy best friend who thinks they know what's best for you only no one else can see them but you."

The others nodded, understanding how that could seem that way.  It was strange but that was Xander.  He was just that way naturally.

***

Crissy showed up on base the next afternoon to swat Dawn.  "Whatever you did made me more pregnant than I was," she hissed.  Dawn gave her a helpless look.  "Don't do it again."

"It was my first time.  I had containment stuff up.  I thought I kept it all there."

"Well, don't have sex again!" she said hotly.

"It hasn't been that way since then."

"Good!"  She handed over her daughter.  "Here.  Yours."

"Oops.  How did I do that?"

"It opened a minute portal and let one cross over."  She glared at her, getting a sheepish witch.  "That means you're a godmother."

"Of course.  I'd be honored.  If I had known, Crissy."

"I know.  Now you do."

"Thankfully I can't be a virgin ever again."

"You hope."

"Well, yeah.  I heard there's potions for that."  Crissy swatted her again.  "Sorry, joke."

"Bad one."  She took her daughter back.   "Anyway, it's fixed.  She's fully here now from wherever she came from.  We have no idea.  If you do, I don't want to know."

"Of course not."  She stroked down the little hats.  "Did you get the presents?"

"Charlie was flashing back to a Christmas movie he saw that had an elf that looked like him when they all fell from the ceiling."  She walked off.  "We're going to see House and Chase."

"Okay."  She went to make her own notes and send her teachers a note.  That way they'd warn the next witch they came across who needed to be broken in.

Crissy got as far as the cafeteria before she got pounced and the babies taken from her.  Literally.  Anna pounced while Kim and Amber stole the kids.  She groaned, sliding down the wall to sit.  "You could've asked.  I'll gladly spare my arms, ladies."

"We're getting practice in," Kim said with a grin.

"How did you get pregnant?"

"Brenda is."

"How did she get pregnant?  John had fierce papa syndrome over her the last I knew."

"Some witches at the high school got jealous and knocked her up magically," Amber said with a grin.  "Sam and Dawn hunted them down so the judge could make them bind their magic for good.  Aren't you so precious?" she cooed.

"Ladies, that rots our minds and theirs," Sam said as he joined them from the caf.  "Nice teamwork though.  Dean'll be proud."

"You're supposed to go all gooey over babies," Kim defended.

"They'll learn to talk like that if that's all they ever hear," he told her.  "Speaking is the important thing; not doing the gooey voices."  Amber let him hold the little boy.  "Hey, sport.  You were a surprise."

"No, him being a he was a surprise but she came over thanks to Dawn's blip."  Sam looked at her.  "She got broken in."

Sam smirked.  "The containment field failed?"

"Nope."

"Shit," he said, looking awed.

"Don't teach him those words.  Bad enough Connor's trying to piss Angel off by doing it."  She held up her arms.  They all smiled and Anna helped her up.  "Fine.  We've got an appointment with House and Chase."  They smiled and the girls walked her down there with the babies once Amber had taken him back.  "We're awake and have been stolen by the aunts."

"Diapers will cure that," Chase said blandly.  The girls snorted and kept cuddling them.

"Ladies, hand over the reasons for birth control," House ordered when he came in.  "Are you feeling better?" he asked the mom.

"I'm okay.  A bit sore.  I feel like a tunnel.  The sort that you see on roller coasters instead of the sort you drive trucks through so it's a bit better."  House smirked.  "I'm fine and I was promised all the tub time we wanted by Morgan."  She sat down and let Anna fuss over her and the babies.  "Anna, we're fine."

"We're getting practice since you wouldn't let us come out there to fuss.  Otherwise Brenda's daughter will be horribly butch and ungirly."

"She knows she's having a girl?  Already?"

"Xander had a prophecy," Kim said, looking at her.  Crissy moaned and slumped.  "She'll be a kick ass slayer.  She'll be a Winchester from birth and they're going to name her Mary after John's former wife.  She's only three months along."

"So she'll be the female Dean," Anna said smugly.

Crissy gave her a hug.  "If that's what she wants then that's fine.  I'm sure her girl will outlast her and me."  Anna nodded at that.  "Cool."  She let House check her over while they let them fight against Chase about who held the babies while he checked them over.  One of the babies did lay a diaper and the girls grimaced.

"I've seen prettier slime, kiddo," Amber said.  "But I can't hold that against you.  Everyone's butt output is messy and nasty."  She cleaned him up and Chase stole him.  "Hey!"

"I have to start his official record," he said patiently.  "Have you picked a pediatrician yet?"

"Not really.  My OB out there had a few she likes.  Only one's taking new patients."  That got a nod from House.  "So I don't know and I'm not sure if we're going to stay in LA forever or not.  I wasn't on the list for placement."

"Wes is in his office," Chase told her.

She called from the wall phone.  "Wes, it's Crissy.  I wasn't on the placement list.  I'd like to stay in LA."  She smiled.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Wes.  In the infirmary for check ups.  Thanks."  She hung up.  "I'm on maternity leave until I can pass Dean and Faith again." They all nodded at that.  "So about six months but I'm to stay in LA if I want to."  She crossed her feet.  "How have I done so far?  I had to stop Connor from scowling at them when they cried in the middle of the night, which interrupted his nookie with Morgan.  Then again at daybreak when they got up to greet the sun.  Apparently they're pagans because they also greeted moonrise and moonset."  House laughed, shaking his head.  "Or else they're just incredibly fussy."  Chase nodded with a smirk.  "Damn.  I was hoping for natural born pagans."  The Tara robot walked in and gave her a hug.  "Thanks, Tara.  How's the Cleveland house?"

"Full of grumpy girls."  She smirked, looking at the babies.  "Hi, kids," she said softly, moving closer to hum and cuddle them until their mother or someone stole them back.  But she was metal now so she could defeat the baby stealing slayers.  Anna tried her worst pout but Tara sent her off to make a nest for the babies in the slayer dorm so the others could gush over the babies while they were in.  She walked them over carefully, then settled them into the comfy nest the girls had set up.  Thankfully she got out of the way of the scuffle about who would cuddle them.  "Ladies!" Tara complained.  "You can all cuddle the babies."  They looked back and found the white unicorn, Digger, in there with them nuzzling their cheeks.  "Awwww.  Someone take a picture?  They didn't give me that function."   Multiple pictures were taken, one was even sent to Faith's phone.

Wesley and John came out of the office, staring at the gathered slayers, robot, and the nest.  "Digger, move," John ordered impatiently.  "You're too big to cuddle up to the babies."  Tara swatted him.  "Ow."

"Oops, a bit too hard.  Sorry," she said sheepishly, ducking her head a bit.

"He's still too big."

"He's being very careful.  Some day they'll think he's a pony."

"Some day they'll be evil little brats who prank for fun.  Like Dean is," Anna said smugly.  "Then they can play with Binky too."

"It'll be a while before they're that evil," John said patiently.  "Digger's still too big and could hurt them by shifting onto them."

"I can lift Digger," Tara assured him.

"So can I," he told her.  "No pets in the crib."

Anna huffed.  "Digger, please don't get too close to the babies?  John's worried you might hurt them by accident."  Digger glared at John.  "See, you're wrong.  I know Digger won't hurt them."

"Since when was Digger that smart?" Wesley asked.

"Since Abby's smart beam she made with Xander accidentally went off next to him," Mary said with a grin.  She had just come in.  "Ooooh, babies!"  She squealed and came over to hug them.  Digger gave her an odd look.  "Shove it, Digger.  I can cuddle the nieces too.  We're all aunts around here since they're the first slayer babies."  She petted him too, then went back to cuddling the babies.  "Jethro!" she yelled.  He came jogging in.  "Babies!" she said happily.

"Don't get any ideas," he ordered.  But he was smiling.  "They're beautiful, Crissy.  Healthy?"

"Very.  One tried to eat Chase's finger.  They're good babies even if they do wake up at the shift of the sun."  Gibbs gave her a smug look and nodded.  "How long?"

"Three months before they sleep through the night."

"Crap.  Connor's going to kill us for interrupting his nookie time so often."

"They make cars, parks, and closets for that," he said blandly.  The older girls all laughed.  Mary shifted to lean against Digger's side but John hauled her out and handed her off.  "You have to share aunt duties."

"When don't I have to share?" she demanded.  "I share everything else."

"When you have your own since diapers will drive off even the most nosy aunts and uncles."  He put her down.  She pouted but settled in to let the others play with the babies.  "No baby talk," Gibbs ordered at the first outbreak.  John and Wesley both gave him an odd look.  "It'll retard their language skills.  They learn it by us talking to them.  Calling them 'cuwwy wuddy' and things will make them think it's their native language."

"Then they'll have to be one of those rap stars no one understands," Kim quipped.

"Or a grunge rocker," Shea said as she came down the stairs.  "Ooh, evil."  She backed off.  The other slayers all glared, with the watchers.  "Babies are evil!  They create messes!  They have diapers!  They make your mind turn to oatmeal.  They're contagious in their evil."  She walked off shaking her head.

"You're an only child," John called after her.

"That's because I reminded Mom how evil I was whenever she wanted another one."

Wesley shook his head.  "Some days I find her quite amusing."

"Should've seen her Friday night," Kim teased.  "I heard she gave two kids the 'have fun but use a glove' speech for about ten minutes when she caught them sneaking out."

"Hopefully she scared them into safer sex," Gibbs said dryly.  "DiNozzo would've done the same."

Kim nudged him on the arm.  "Can one of you please go repossess my woman's things from her?"

John groaned.  "Yeah, I can do that, Kim.  Or you can ask Xander."

"I might do that since we got most of them off him anyway."  John and Gibbs both blushed.  "It's a natural urge."

"Uh-huh.  Still not one to talk about in public places," Gibbs noted dryly.  "Anything else we need to confiscate?"

Kim shrugged.  "How would I know?  I don't panty raid and things."  Anna giggled at that. "I haven't in years.  I'm trying very hard to be a good girl so Amber rewards my poor, tired butt later on."  Amber looked over at her.  "What?  I am."

"You're getting something later," she promised with an evil smirk.

"Just don't keep us up this time," Mary complained.   "And make whatever's stinky in your room go away.  Please?"

"We'll clean it later," Kim promised, patting her on the head.  "She's not always the neatest of neat freaks," she shared.

Mary shrugged.  "I don't care how messy anyone's room is.  All I know is you two get noisy and then it stinks."  The lesbian couple blushed.  "Nor do I care why."

"Enough," Gibbs ordered.  "Quit embarrassing them."

"Yes, Gibbs.  Can I have some coffee?"

"No," John and Jethro said together.  "It'll stunt your growth."

"Yet we drank coffee every day," Sam said from his seat.

"I need the same stuff that made him sprout so I'm taller than Buffy," Anna agreed.

"House would spank," Gibbs told her.

"Xander said that's fun."  She smirked evilly.  "Apparently they have to do that when he ignores his injuries."  The other girls laughed because Xander was a pain in the ass when they got hurt.

"I did not need to know that," John said impatiently.

"They're not," Sam told him.  "House only likes busty, cheap things.  By the way, Xander needs a new suit."  John looked at him.  "What?  The dry cleaner in town ate it."

"How do *you* know this?"

"He was angsting about being dragged back there again."

"Maybe he'll help the cops up there find more bad girls," Mary quipped, cracking the others up.

"Hopefully without them having bombs this time," John said dryly, giving her a dirty look.  "Keep it up, clean the barn alllll by yourself, young lady."

"Yes, John," she sighed.  "Dean would've appreciated that joke."

"I didn't spank Dean enough.  I can fix that with you."

"No, you're not my watcher."

"I can order Jethro to spank you."  She pouted at that.  Gibbs looked at him. "Before you have to have the talk about panty raiding and Dean's spank magazines."

"Which he so generously spread around," Brenda agreed.  John gave her an evil look.  "I wanted to know what they looked like," she defended.  "Not like I'm in Cleveland."

John sighed, walking off shaking his head.  "Crissy, will you need help making up bottles or letting the ones who're thinking babies are nice changing them?"

"I can do bottles but they'll need to be warmed."

"I can do that," Anna said happily.

"Not in the microwave.  It can lose nutrients."

"Of course not."  She took the canister of formula and the bottles to the kitchen to warm them up.  When she got back, the bottles got snatched and the babies passed around while they ate, puked some back up, and then crapped all over the girls holding them.  It was a very good lesson on why they needed birth control.  And why they'd build the Winchester clan a house on the back end of the base when Brenda gave birth.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Winchester Family Road Trip.

Xander looked at the people packing up, sighing mentally.  Things were going to suck while they were gone.  Either something major would happen or the girls would pout and complain the whole time they were gone.  No matter what Dean, John, and Sam had all ordered them to not do - separately of course. They were going back on their 'it's summer, we'll be free' kick and didn't want to listen about training and things.  They thought they'd get the summer off because things were slower.  Instead, some of the senior girls were going overseas.  They were in for a rude shock when he ran practice the next morning.  He watched Faith watch them for a minute then snuck back inside, going to get something.  He walked out and handed it to her with a shove toward the cars.  Brenda caught her, giving him an odd look.  "We send slayers out in pairs if at all possible.  Even with hunters."  He walked off smirking at his good deed.

"I can make my own damn decisions, Xander Harris," Faith yelled after him.

He turned to look at her.  "If something happens, Brenda can't handle it because of the baby.  The guys will be knocked out most likely.  You're going to go even if you do duck out of meeting their friends.  No one said you had to travel with them *all* the time.  And hey, it's you or you can watch Gibbs and I boot camp Shea."  He walked off again.  "Give me nice pictures, guys."  He walked back inside, waving over his shoulder.

"He's a pushy bastard," Faith complained.

"He's right.  Nothing says you had to go all the way with us but traveling with you might be okay."  Dean grinned.  "You and Sammy can try to complain about the music."

"I don't mind your music, Dean.  I can't see me being cooped up in a car for days on end."

"So don't.  You can go hunt and come back to join up with us."  He smirked.  "It means you don't have to be the house mom and you can be a slayer again for a while."

"Good point."  Wesley came out with two envelopes.  "Payday?" she teased.

"Indeed."  He handed them over.  "John, do you have her card for field allowance?"

"Nope."

"I'll get that for you.  Faith, are you going as well?  I wish you had told me.  Let me get you one."

"X tried to make me go," she told him.  He stared at her.  "I don't know!" she defended.

"I'll get you one," he said.  "That way you can go and then come back when you've had enough of being on the road."  He went to his office to gather those things then came back out.  "Here you go, ladies.  Is anyone else going out?"

"Xander said he and Gibbs are doing some super training with Shea since she'll be taking up her post this fall," John said.  "With only a few of the older ones in her city."

"That's fine then."  He gave each girl a hug.  "You two be safe and write often.  Faith, try not to pick up a lot of trouble.  I do know that somehow you've had a lot of infection by Xander on that point but I do hope you don't come back with tales like he has from his vacation."  He smiled.  "Do call me every few days."  He kissed her on the cheek before walking off.  The girls were slacking off in the tv room.  "I do believe we have chores, ladies."

"Must we?" Anna asked.

"Yes, you must.  You wanted pets, go take care of them."  They groaned but turned off the tv to go do their chores.  Some had to clean the barn the unicorns lived in.  Some had to clean their rooms.  Some had to do laundry.  Some had to do some makeup assignments.  Some had some research papers for Sam to grade while he was gone.  All in all, not a lot of happy slayers this breezy, sunny, warm Saturday afternoon.  He went to enjoy it and do his paperwork outside in the picnic area they had set up for the agents to have lunch in.  He loved the laptop for that much alone.  He saw Xander walk past.  "What are we doing with Shea?"

"She'll be the more experienced slayer and the one that doesn't have a job in New York, which has a very old, very established, very messy when pissed demonic community.  She's got to learn how to lead."  He smirked evilly.  "Because I'm a nice guy."  Wesley snickered so Xander walked on.  He leaned into the dorm.  "Shea!"  She came skipping down the stairs.  "Time to start prepping you as the senior slayer in New York.  The other two there have demanding, high stress jobs so you'll only be getting backup from them.  That means you're handling the messy, established, mostly peaceful demon community in your new post.  It's one of the oldest in the new world and it's got a lot in common with the Family system that the mafia has created.  Therefore you've got to be worthy of being a senior slayer.  Just like Buffy and Faith are."  She groaned.  "Therefore you get to go into super slayer training," he finished with a wicked grin.  "Gym.  Now.  Change too."  She sighed, going to do that.  He paged Gibbs to meet them there.  He walked her in there.  "Did we get a rundown of the map from the New York office?" he asked Don Flack since he was in there.

"I did."  He let him have the file.  "That's the various ones they have run into, peaceful and not, approximate clan size and location.  That's also the threat index of the demons that're causing problems.  Some of the ones listed as harmful aren't causing problems in the city."

"They hunt somewhere else probably," Gibbs said.

"Some are in fertility downtime?" Don asked.

"Every few centuries a few species take time out to have babies and then go back to war."  That got a nod.  "Thanks.  Since she'll be the senior slayer, she's getting the good lessons.  Next weekend, the ones going to Vienna and the one going to India as senior are joining you."  Shea gave him an odd look.  "I know they'll need it.  They've both been in field command positions.  That's why they got chosen as lead.  They'll need the higher level of demonology lessons from Wes.  Which Gibbs has to go over anyway so you'll get it from him as he learns it.  You're the only one that hasn't been in a field command position."

"I was in Georgia and Chicago," she pointed out.

"Yes, but you weren't leading a section.  They were leading a section and led strike teams in the past."  She slumped.  "If you're going to New York, you'll be the senior girl and you will be able to handle it.  Or else we'll have to send another one up there with you."

She nodded.  "I understand.  Advanced demonology and what?"

"Training," he told her.  "You're good.  You're in Faith's class.  You still have to be able to use more weapons as the senior girl.   If there's a sitch that needs artillery, that is your call to make.  It's your call to staff the residence's armory.  It's your call to retire the other two if they're injured or to call to get replacements if they need vacation time.  It's your call to use artillery if you need some.  They might want to pet it, it's your job to fire it.  That means you need range time.  You also need to have a wider range of bladed weapons skills and other fighting skills.  One of them has some martial arts training she's taking.  Olivia is going to the PD's training center to see what she can learn that way.  You, being the senior one, have to be better.  That's why you're senior."

She nodded.  "I understand.  This is going to totally ruin my summer, isn't it?"

"Hell yes," Xander agreed dryly.  "If I'm doing it right, you'll get to hit on House at least once a week."  He smirked at her.  Gibbs laughed at that.  "Shouldn't she?"

"At least for the first few weeks.  The same as we did in boot camp."

She nodded, moving to stretch.  "Where are we starting?"

"Physical training.  Then we'll move onto range time with me," Gibbs told her.  "Then you'll move onto bladed weapons with Xander and I'll start with the advanced demonology lessons tonight and then start giving it to you tomorrow during lunch."

"So I'm yours?"

"You're ours until I get called off," Xander told her.  "Then you may be his and Mac's."

"Fine.  Am I learning Wesley's blade style too?"

"Yes.  And mine, and how to use other forms of bladed and unbladed weapons."  She nodded at that.  "Okay, let's start with the PT part."  She moved into position.  "You're a slayer.  I'm not going to attack you," he said dryly.  She attacked like a slayer in a fight would.  Fast.  Hard.  Trying to get him down.  Xander sighed and got her down, leaning down to look at her.  "If you're in Faith's training class, you can do better than that, Shea."  He helped her up.  "Come at me again.  You get me then you get Connor."  She nodded, coming at him again.  He had to take longer this time to get her down.  He looked at her once she was on her butt again.  "Hasn't Dean been working with you?"

"Maybe I'm not ready," she muttered.

He pulled her up.  "You are.  You're just being stubborn."  He gave her a look then attacked this time.  She defended better than she attacked.  He still managed to knock her down.  "The proper response to landing on any part of your anatomy other than your feet is to hop back up," he said impatiently.  She hopped back up and came at him again, getting a bit pissed.  "Anger is not for fighting," he said, hip tossing her.  She groaned on the mat.  He looked at Gibbs, then at her.  "Fine.  We're doing advanced training my way."  He hauled her up and to another room that had removable mats on the floor.  Faith used this room for advanced weapons training.  The weapons were around the room on all the walls, a few leaning in a corner, some hanging from a rack on the ceiling.  He got staffs and tossed her one.  "Let's do this for real.  I may be the toughest demon you'll ever fight.  I certainly hope so."  He attacked and she had to defend herself.  She knew the reason for the room was to teach her to think about other weapons than what she was used to.  When he broke her staff, she grabbed something and attacked back.  He was still doing okay with a staff.  She groaned and grabbed something else while he bopped her on the back of her head.

"Ow!"

"Do you think they're going to give you a chance to turn your back and not attack?" he demanded.  He hit her again until she attacked him back.  He sighed and got something bigger to bop her with this time.  Something harder than a wooden stick too.  She was going to be bruised by lunch.  Sweaty and bruised.   When he got tired, he backed off, looking at her.  "Not good but I've seen worse," he said finally.  She gave him a horrified look.  "Why didn't you pick up the metal bar?"

"You're human."

"If it's in here I know how to use it and how to defend against it.  I expect you to bruise me, Shea.  The same as I did you."  She laid back, covering her face with her arm.  "Get up, go to the infirmary, have lunch.  Stretch and come back."  He hauled her up and gave her a shove.  "Now."

"Yes, Xander.  How long until I can pass this?"

"Until you get it and I end up visiting House as often as you will this week," he said dryly.

"Yes, Xander."  She trudged off, heading down to the infirmary.  "Chase, I have a bruise in the pattern of the mats and I ache."

He checked her over.  "What are you doing?"

"Senior slayer advanced training."  She gave him a pathetic look.  "I'm so sore."

House stomped out of the office.  "We'll pull out the liniment for you.  Which gym are you in?"

"The weapons room.  He beat me with the staff, he beat me with a club.  I'm so sore."

House smirked.  "In a few months he'll be whining the same way."

"Can I do that now?"

"No."  Chase finished giving her what she needed.  "Eat.  Remember to stretch before you go back.  Then swim some laps tonight to ease your muscles back into a relaxed state."

"I have to do more PT?" she demanded.

"It'll help with the cramps you'll have tonight," House told her.  "If we had a hot tub it'd help more but we don't."

She groaned, going up to find something for lunch.  When she got back, Buffy was in there.  "Are you going to watch him beat me with things?"

"No, I'm here to provide a demonstration," she admitted, tightening her ponytail.  "Xander?"

"Behind me.  He had to check his voicemail."  Xander walked in.  "Can I hide in a corner?"

"Sure," Buffy agreed.  "Just get out of the way.  I don't think Xander's that good."

"I told her she passed when I was whining in the infirmary as often as she will these next two weeks."  He tossed her a staff.  She nodded at that, smirking a bit.  "You have been slacking.  Those pants are tight."  Which was a sure way to get Buffy pissed at you.  She attacked and Xander defended, using his power of evasion to get around some of her heavier lunges.  He got the staff off her then she backflipped to pick up something else.  He grabbed his own since she got a sword.  He lunged first this time, taking her off guard.  "When was the last time you and Faith sparred?"

"Last month.  I'm on vacation. I should be getting a tan."

"If you don't practice, you look flabby in your bikinis."  He smacked her on the arm with the flat of the blade.  She huffed and lunged again.  He ducked one, kicked her feet out from under her then grabbed something heavier.  She groaned, getting up to get something.   "I sent Faith off on the Winchester Family Roadtrip."

"That's good for her.  She and Dean are probably very cute.  The pictures from the prom had her being very hot."

"Very, very hot," Xander said proudly.  "I picked out her dress."  He ducked a blow, wincing when she got him.  She gave him a look.  "Yield, not to first blood, Buffy."  He swung at her stomach, making her jump back.  Then he pressed his advantage until she was against a wall.  She braced and pushed him off her with her feet then followed up on her advantage.  Xander had to roll back to his feet and grab something else but that was fine.  They ended up in a panting, sweaty tie about a half-hour later, blades at each other's throat.  Xander twitched his wrist, pulling down his dagger.  She moved and kicked him.  He scratched her ankle, showing he could've cut it on her, then got her back against the wall.  Still mostly a tie but he had a longer reach so was probably going to win but be injured.  "Yield or not?"

"Yield."  She put down her sword.  Xander did the same.  "Damn, Xander."

"We've had to work with the girls and hunt," he reminded her dryly.

"Good point.  Those bad cases are training you pretty good."  She gave him a hug.  "I'm not fat."  He tested her waistband.  "These are always tight."

"If you say so."  He looked at Shea.  "When yo can do that, you pass."

She whimpered, sliding back down to sitting.  Gibbs clapped from where he was watching.  "Not bad.  Xander, you need some bandaids."

"I know.  The bad fights, you get hurt during," he reminded him, getting a nod from Buffy.  "We've all had stitches, scratches, and bandages after fights."  He hauled Shea up.  "Spar with Buffy for a bit."  She nodded, doing that while he went to take a pain potion.  House gave him an evil look.  "I was doing a demo with Buffy.  It took nearly forty-five minutes till we got to a tie."

"That sounds like it was a good fight," House said.  He handed him the box of bandaids and the tube of neosporin.  "Take it to your newest victim."

Xander grinned, heading to get them something to drink on the way back to the practice area.  He walked in and ducked a thrown club.  "Fine, next time I won't bring in drinks."  Buffy got her and Shea some, sitting down to talk to her about what being a senior slayer meant.  Xander let Gibbs do the few cuts on his back then the girls got each other.

"Remind me to give her medic lessons since it takes forever to get an ambulance in New York City," House said as he walked in.  "Shea, do you need something for the pain?"

"No, I'm okay," she said quietly.

"Okay."  He looked at Xander.  "Your other protege of evilness?"

"Winchester Family Road Trip," he said dryly.  "Faith and Brenda."

House walked off laughing.  "Good for you."

"Faith needed a vacation too.  This way Cho and Rona know what being the senior girl means."

"You're too evil, Xander," Buffy decided.  "You really sent Faith off?"

"She's lucky I didn't pack her in Dean's trunk," he said dryly.  "I shoved her bag at her.  Told her she could wander if they were getting too family oriented or it scared her."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Did Wes give you the advanced demonology lessons?"

"He did and I'm going over the makeup reports."  That got a nod.  "We'll start going over it next week."

"That's fine.  She leaves right before Halloween so she can handle the city starting on that day."  Buffy and Shea looked over.  "That's the start of the build to the usual spring problems and all the fall problems start there too."

"Yes they do," Buffy agreed grimly.  "So she's due in New York about a week before Halloween?"

"Sounds good," Gibbs agreed.  "That'll let her conference with the other two and learn her new territory.  There's things you can learn from the locals that memorizing a map won't give you," he said when Shea opened her mouth.

"We don't expect you to look like a native, but you've got to know which borough is which and how to get places," Xander told her.

"I guess that makes sense.  That's my timeline?"

"Yup.  If you get done sooner you can go sooner."

"Yes, Xander."  She looked at Buffy.  "Did you get this training too?"

"No.  My watchers didn't give it to me.  They knew I wasn't going to be handling anything too huge.  Sunnydale had nothing on New York.  Then again I wasn't expected to last a year."

"We want Shea to last many years and make her mother a grandmother some decade," Xander said dryly.  "She cleaned up?"  Buffy nodded.  "Then let's get up and do it again, Shea."

"Xander, it's her first day," Buffy complained.

Gibbs snorted.  "My first day of boot camp training I was up at four in the morning, had gotten 3 hours after sleep on the bus to Paris Island, went until midnight, and we did that most of the week."  Buffy gave him a horrified look.  "The more she does, the more stamina she builds.  She can have a snack."  Buffy nodded, taking her to find her a good snack.  He looked at Xander.  "Why is she being the senior?"

"Olivia works in SVU and the other one is at the local base."  Gibbs sighed, shaking his head.  "There's a mother that lives about fifty, sixty miles away.  Her husband doesn't want to lose her either so he wants her to handle the town's problems."

"I can understand that."  The girls came back, Buffy handing Xander a snack too.  He grinned in thanks, then picked up a staff.  "Will she be using it?"

"I'm training her to use whatever's at hand.  The most common thing is a stick since she'll be handling vampires."  That got a nod.  He and Buffy got out of the way.  Shea attacked once she had swallowed her last bite.  Xander put her down within minutes, making her gag.  "C'mon. You did better earlier."  She got up with a groan, going back to attacking him.  "Remember, you pass when you can consistently make me miserable for doing this to you," he said cheerfully.

"I'm looking forward to it.  Then do I get Dean in here?"

"Faith maybe."  He smirked.  "Or Buffy if she's not on vacation at that time."  Shea groaned.   "I don't expect you to be Buffy or Faith.  I expect you to be good enough to beat them.  New York is second to the hellmouth in activity, peaceful and not.  You're going to have as much work as the Vienna house will in most of Europe."

"Shoot.  Can I have more slayers?"

"If you need them.  Remember, you'll have that office in the local PD."

"Good point."  They kept going until Shea ended up on her back.  Again.

Xander checked his watch then looked at her.  "One more go then you can shower, do some laps, then eat and hit the sack for morning PT with Gibbs."  She groaned but got up and did it again.  She lost quickly because she was sore, but they expected that from her.

"Just remember, we've had battles that have lasted longer than an hour, complete with running for bait purposes; a few times," Buffy told her.

"That's the purpose of this," Xander told her.  "To increase stamina and ability."  Buffy smiled, giving him a pat before going to see Dawn for some sister time and going over the pictures from the prom.  Xander looked at Gibbs.  "The girls that were on search doing okay?  I haven't seen them in days."

"They're good.  Still doing PT.   Still keeping in shape.  Want them in here?"

"When she's higher and more ready.  Whichever is better at this."  Gibbs nodded, going to talk to them.  Xander went to take his own shower then get some food.  He was just as sweaty as she was and just as sore.  He went to get some liniment of his own then went to do his own laps.  She'd join him eventually.  Daniel came in so he flipped onto his back to backstroke.  "Was I missed?"

"No.  Almost nothing came in today."  He sat on the side of the pool.  "I peeked on her training.  She didn't look bad."

"Not bad.  Not good enough but not bad."  Daniel gave him a cool look.  "She's going to be the senior slayer in New York.  There's a huge demon population in the city.  Over half are harmless but there's also a large vampire population.  New York and LA are second to the hellmouth for activity."  He turned to do another lap of backstroke.  "She'll get there.  She has some training.  She needs to be able to pick up anything at hand if she's attacked and she's learning that plus increasing her stamina."

"That's a good point.  Can Jack help?"

"Sure.  If he wants.  Gibbs does morning PT and he's going to start getting her up for it.  The girls who were on retrieval do the same thing if he wants to join them."

"I'll let him know."  He smiled.  "You didn't look so bad.  Sore?"

"Oh, yeah.  And when she can make me as sore as she was today then she's passed."

"Good to know.  I'll keep you on light duties."

"I'm fine for sharing, Danny."  He stopped swimming to look at his boss.  "Gibbs can fill in for me if we have to handle a case."

"That's good to know."  He smiled as Shea and Jack walked in with Gibbs.  "Jack, he said the girls who went to find the others are doing morning PT and so does Gibbs."

"I might join you but not for jogging," Jack said.

"That's fine.  Taylor does," Gibbs told him.  "DiNozzo does most days for my run."

That got a nod.  "We can do that," Daniel agreed.

"We have to jog?" Shea nearly whined.

Xander laughed.  "No, you have to learn how to run when you need to run."

"I can run."

"Good.  You'll prove it when we go hunting together as a final test," he said with a grin.  "In your new city."

She nodded slowly.  "Okay," she said weakly.  She slid into the water and started her own laps.  "How many am I doing?"

"Until you're ready to nap.  Then go eat and go to bed," Gibbs told her.  She nodded, doing about twelve laps before getting out and trudging to get something from the kitchen and hit her bed.  "Benson has that bad of a job?"

"SVU is rape and children cases," Xander said quietly.  "She's constantly on call and she's got stakeouts, chases, and court times."  Gibbs shuddered.  "That's her whole job.  I'm thinking she'll be lucky to hit patrol or problem areas fifteen percent of the time.  And I'm worried she'll end up using it as stress relief."

"I'd think it'd be very stress relieving," Gibbs agreed.

"But that's a good way to end up hurting someone," Jack said quietly.  Xander nodded.  "Which we don't want for any of the slayers."

"No, we don't," Daniel agreed.  "That makes more sense," he decided.  He got up, looking around the area.  "I'll see you at dinner, guys."  He left, going to think about the harsh life the girls might be having off base.  He knew the watchers were trying their best to help them and make it easier on them.

Jack looked at Xander.  "That's pretty harsh."

"Before the great awakening as Willow called it, the girls lasted under a year on average.  Average was about seven or eight months.  Somewhere in there.  There were months when we went through a few of them in the old days."

Jack and Gibbs both shuddered.  "The more trained the girls are, the longer they'll live.  We'd like most of them to die of old age."

"Yes I would.  I want to be an uncle to many more kids," Xander said dryly.

"No plans for kids of your own?" Jack asked.

"Willow warped my sperm."  He kicked off again.  "If they unwarp and look less like post-nuclear holocaust sperm then we'll see.  Even without the spell they're still showing signs of being warped."  Jack and Gibbs shared a look then shook their heads.  They dove in to swim their own laps.  Xander finally got out and went to get his own dinner and then hit his bed.

"He's stronger than I am.  I'd have given in hours ago," Gibbs said.  "He worked her butt off."

"It's good incentive to know she'll pass when she can do that to him back."

"It would be for me.  Boot camp wasn't that hard."

"Boot camp was good for us, but that's her life if she fails."

"I know.  Maybe we'll be sending a few others up there with her sometime soon."

"Maybe," Jack agreed.  "How are the ones going to Vienna and India going to handle it?"

"They're coming in a few weeks.  They've been in field combat and leadership positions.  Shea hasn't.  For all that she said she was hunting on her own and her parents are hunters, the Winchesters ride her harder than anyone but Brenda."

"Think she'll do good training the future slayers?"

"I think she'll do just fine," Gibbs said with a small smile.  "She's a good girl.  John would've spanked all the hellion out of her if she wasn't.  Or not adopted her."

Jack nodded.  "They are cute."

"She's the first Winchester girl.  John sometimes gets this look like 'I have no idea what to do with a girl' when she comes in with girl issues."  Jack laughed.  "One of the younger ones needed her first bra and he froze up like a deer in a semi's headlights.  I sent her to see Stella."

Jack nodded.  "That's what I'd do."  He flipped over to swim in the other direction.  "Think we should hype Xander up on chocolate again so he fixes more stuff around here?"

"Don't remind me about the last time," Gibbs said with a shudder.  "It was so bad John knocked him out and tied him down for the night.  Plus he built some stuff in the lab."  Jack shuddered at that too.  That was probably a recipe for having to rebuild the base.

***

John pulled into the front yard of the salvage yard, getting out once he had parked.  He walked around to get Brenda up so he could help her out.  Dean and Sam pulled in behind him.  Faith had escaped that morning so she wouldn't be meeting the extended family.   He walked her up to the porch.  "Bobby, do I have to find some holy water for you?" he yelled as he walked in.

Bobby came out of the bathroom.  "I was fixing a pipe and didn't hear you."  He looked at the young woman on his arm then at the two boys.  "New wife?" he guessed with a smile.

She gave him an odd look.  "Mary would come back from the dead to kick his butt, Mr. Singer.  I'm Brenda."  She held out a hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, young lady.  I've heard a lot about you."  He shook her hand with a grin.  "You go ahead and sit down."  She walked into the devil's trap and couldn't move out of it.  "Uh-huh."

"Why would a slayer get caught in a devil's trap?"

"Because when they gave the first slayer her powers, they bound some demon's power into the line," Sam said.  He helped her out and she sighed, sitting down while rubbing her stomach.  "Didn't even think about that."  Bobby gave him an odd look.  "Way back in caveman days, they took a girl and forced the powers on her to make her a slayer.  Including some demon's powers.  I read the account of calling the first slayer back and what Sineya taught Buffy.  The stronger, faster, better healing stuff is all from that."

"That would be enough.  It gets people who carry a taint from a possession," he agreed.

"We'll have to warn Xander about that," Sam said quietly, sitting down beside her.  "You okay?"

"I'm tired for some reason," she said with a small pout.

"She's putting a lot of strain on you with all the rapid growing and cell division she's doing.  Remember, right now she's growing organs and things."  She nodded, resting against his shoulder.  "Beyond that, Dad was probably playing sleepy music."  She nodded faster at that, making John snort.

"Little one?" Bobby asked calmly.

"I didn't tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise," John said with a grin.  "Some witches knocked Brenda up with a future little slayer."  She kicked him.  "Behave."

"Yes, sir."

"Good girl."  He patted her on the head, sitting down on her free side.  Dean sat down in the free seat.  "So yes, she's pregnant.  About four months along.  She'll be a Winchester from birth since Brenda's so much like one of my own."

"That's good then.  Will it hurt her calling?" Bobby asked.

"Xander said he's going to be a huge uncle influence and the other girls might babysit now and then," Brenda offered with a grin.  "Plus I'm on to train the later slayers and hunters, Mr. Singer."

"Call me Bobby or Uncle Bobby, Brenda."

"Yes, Bobby," she said with a shy smile.

"You even look like the old bastard there."  He smirked, going back to fixing the pipe.  "Be right out."

"Sure, need help?" Dean asked.

"No, I got it."  He closed the door and cackled quietly while he fixed the pipe with the hole in it.  John was in over his head this time.  Sam knocked then walked in.  "You okay with that?"

"We love Brenda like a sister too.  She's a good girl.  We even have prom pictures.  She got asked this year even though she's not a senior."  Bobby gave him an odd look.  "Her former watcher.  Fortunately he's dead so we can't kick his ass."

"Good to know.  I'll see in a few minutes."  Sam nodded, going to do that.  "Do the holy water test anyway," he called.

"I fed them all holy water this morning," John called back.  "After Brenda, Faith, and Dean got back from the pool hall."  He glared at his son.

"I'm out of practice," Dean said with an evil smirk.  "I haven't played since Vegas last summer."

"Think Xander's taken Shea's training over by now?" Sam asked.

"She called me last night to say she's very sorry she ever slacked," Brenda told him.  Then she smirked evilly.  "He took her into the weapons room that Faith uses for 'pick up whatever's at hand' lessons."  Dean shuddered.  "She was in there *all* day.  Then she did some laps to keep herself from cramping and took dinner to bed.  Gibbs got her up at dawn to do PT with him and Jack."  John smirked at that.  "He said she'll pass when she can make him as bruised and sore as she was yesterday."

"That's a good sign," John agreed.  "She okay?"

"She wanted to know if she went jogging and broke her ankle if he'd let her out.  I told her no."

"That's my sister," Dean said, giving her a smirk.  "She needs it.  She'll be the senior girl in New York in a few months."

"Gibbs is going over advanced demonology with her," Sam agreed.  "Including what they know is living there and if they're harmful or not.  Then Rona and Cho get to join in."

"Xander called Buffy up for a demonstration after Shea had gotten worn out that morning.  After working out all morning and she said their fight lasted forty-five minutes."

"That's good," John agreed.  "Who won?"

"Tie."

"Buffy's out of practice then," John sighed, shaking his head.

"She said Xander taunted her about her pants being tight. That's how he got her to attack first."

"That'd do it for most of the girls," Sam agreed.  Bobby came out wiping his hands.  "We're doing okay training the slayers."

"That's good to know.  Most of them decent at it?"

"Most of us are," Brenda agreed.  "Some of us are crappy at the actual hunting because we don't have the right reactions but there's plenty of things for them to do.  Including helping Crissy with her twins."  She pulled out pictures.  "That's the kids of the first pregnant slayer in this generation."

Bobby looked.  "They're cute little future whirlwinds.  They charmed or changed?"

"No.  Not that we know," John said, taking the picture to look.  "The slayer essence doesn't enter them until sometime between three days and six months of age.  They're only just under a month."  He handed it to Brenda.  "Pretty soon we'll have to start a baby book for that little one."  He smiled.  "She said we're going to name her after Mary and I'll be her Watcher."

"You'll be ancient by then."

"Then I'll step in if he can't," Dean told him.  "Not like we won't all be training her."

Brenda nodded. "Me too."  He smiled.  "But I'm also going to be training hunters and others who want to become DCIS agents.  Xander has too much to do."

"Yes he does," Dean said dryly.  "But it'll be fine.  Danny keeps hiring people to take some of his duties over.  I still think it was funny how they were working on plans on what to do when Xander or Danny got taken."

"It's a good probability it'll be them," Sam reminded him.  "Danny is as much a trouble magnet as I am and Xander is."

"That one a watcher?" Bobby asked.

"The boss at DCIS.  He's an anthropologist and he does languages," Brenda said with a smile.  "He was on a classified military project before but they said he got taken a whole lot.  Jack has so many stories about rescuing Danny that he can't tell because it's classified."  She looked at the guys.  "How does Xander have all his contacts?"

John and Dean shrugged.  "Through the years he's ran into them."

Dean nodded.  "It's possible.  I know he's got a lot in the arms dealing field because he did weapons stuff.  Some are Angel's contacts in LA since he was comatose and we had to deal with LA back then too."

"It sucked back then," Brenda told Bobby.  "Xander was doing all our training at first, including demonology lessons and trying to teach some of us english.  He was holding DCIS together as he and Tony built the teams.  Anytime he went on an out of town case, he came back injured.  We about kidnaped him so he couldn't go off base again.  Then he hired us these two lunkheads."  She nodded at Sam, who gave her head a nudge.  "Sam took over demonology.  Dean took over our training.  Danny took over the language and classroom stuff so Xander could go train the agents in what they needed to do."  Bobby laughed.  "Then the invasion happened and John was there so he showed up a few weeks later to be the dorm dad and stepped in to help Dean because some of us were kinda pitiful."

"Yes you were," Dean said dryly.  "There were too many of you and Xander was handling the Council almost all by himself in those days.  He didn't have the time or the energy to do your training as in depth as you girls need."

"We were happy we got him four hours a day," she reminded him.

"I know.  That's why he was overworked and came to pounce us in our motel room when the FBI found us."  Sam nodded at that.  Bobby gave him an odd look.  "Someone in the FBI tipped him off that they had hunters who were doing some odd things with credit cards and had left a few bodies that were demons but looked almost human behind them.  Xander gave us immunity if we'd become the training team for the girls.  Wes was handling the hellmouth and the patrol rotation there and LA."

"Xander handled LA more than Wes did," Brenda corrected.  "Plus all the probates and setting things up for us."

Bobby shuddered.  "Sounds hard."

"But we're better and then John came in to straighten out the little panty raiding bitches we had," she said dryly.  Bobby gaped.  She nodded.   "They used to plague the agents.  Doctor House had to use a dye pack to stop them from doing him again.  They used to pick a different agent each run so they'd prove they had stealth down pat."  Bobby whimpered.  "John had to do a lot of confiscating since he got there."

"Yeah, it's nice to open up my dresser and find them still full," Sam said dryly.  He gave her a squeeze.  "I'm so proud you only went on that one."

"I had to find out what it was all about," she said with a grin.  "Besides, they hide their naughty stuff with me since John knows I don't buy my own."  She looked at Dean.  "Who did you give those magazines to this time?"

"Dawn.  They in your room?"

"One is.  Caridad got curious and stole one from someone then handed it to me while walking off blushing bright red."

"I'll get it when we get back," Dean promised.

John looked at his son.  "Didn't I tell you to quit doing that?"

"Dawn's old enough."  He looked at Bobby.  "Someone had to teach them sex ed too.   The girls in Cleveland had a nasty habit of dating things with crabs."  Bobby burst out in loud laughs.

"Twice," Sam said.  "Even after some of dad's lectures.  And Xander's lectures."

"Sounds like they're driving you guys nuts."

"They try really hard but we're stronger than that," Sam said with a grin.  "They like to stare at us, a lot, so we get to put up punishments if they don't listen."

Bobby nearly choked he was laughing so hard.  "They do?" he gasped.

"Demonology and research times are known as Sammy Staring Time," Brenda said with a grin.  Bobby started to laugh again.  "We should get him a paper bag to help him calm down," she said when his face turned too red.

"He's fine," Dean assured her.  "If not, you have your CPR card, I have mine."

"Don't you dare think about kissing me," Bobby said, looking at his 'nephew' as he calmed down.  Dean just smirked.  "She's at least pretty."  The girl ducked her head with a bright blush.  "She's clearly a good girl too."

John nodded, patting Brenda on the back.  "She's a very good girl.  Otherwise I'd have spanked her into one."  She nodded quickly.  "But she's been too good for that.  Even if they did take a day off to have cocoa with the older slayers in the snow."

"They needed to talk.  They didn't understand why we weren't having transition problems."

"It was still in the snow," Dean reminded her.

"We built a fire and most of us had blankets to sit on."

"Whatever," Sam told her.  "Thank you for narking on Xander that day."

"Xander needed narked on.  He was doing stupid things that'll get him hurt and make us fuss over him, which would make him pout at us and make us unhappy, again."

"He seems to do that a lot," Sam said.

"If we had more guys like Xander we'd all be nuts but they could take some of his cases and spread it around," Dean offered.

"They don't make others like Xander," Brenda reminded him.  "You're about as close as we get."

"No, if he walks onto a demon battlefield with a gun over one shoulder and demands to get Calleigh back, we'll paddle sense into him," Sam said with a smug look at his very dangerous brother.  Dean just smirked back.

"Huh?" Bobby asked.

"Xander has a female CSI, a ballistics person, on his team.  Her name is Calleigh."  She found a group picture in her wallet, handing it over and shifting closer.  "That's Calleigh.  She used to be Miami-Dade's ballistics CSI."

"She's pretty."

"She's a gun toting woman who thinks she can kick Sammy's butt," Dean told him.

"She might be able to after Xander finishes her training," Sam said.

"Maybe," Dean agreed.  "Anyway, they're on an assignment in lower Arizona.  Across the border there's been an ongoing war for a few generations between two demon clans."

Brenda nodded.  "They decided Calleigh would break the war by marrying an heir from both clans and bearing them babies.  Xander, who is very macho, walked out onto the battlefield with a few guns, one openly worn over his shoulder.  Didn't say a word.  One of the demons on one side said something.  Xander blew a hole in the ground near his feet.  The other side laughed.  He did it to them.  Then he demanded to have his teammate back.  They tried to argue but Xander's a very stubborn guy.  He's more stubborn than John sometimes."  Bobby moaned at that.  "He got Calleigh back but one of his other teammates had been taping it for training purposes."  John snickered.  "I saw the video he put online and I told Dean, who sent it on."  Dean gave Bobby a smug look.  "Jack, Danny's buddy who runs the covert stuff they just put under DCIS, dragged Xander off to spank him in the office," she finished with a grin.

"Yes he did," Dean agreed dryly.  "Because that's doing dangerous, stupid stuff and giving you girls a bad example."

"Xander said everyone looks hot with artillery," she said with a sweet grin.

"Maybe, but I hope you never have to find out," John said.   She gave him a hug then went back to her former seat.

"This Xander boy a good boy and sane?"

"He's from Sunnydale," Sam said.  Bobby shuddered.  "Hunted with the slayer team out there before they sent him off with the slayers who couldn't fight when the former incarnation of DCIS showed up to do a switch and offer them safe shelter.  He pretty well held things together when what was left of the watchers tried to weed down the number of girls.  He rebuilt the council with Wesley's help.   The guy's amazing but he's wearing himself out.  That's why the boss at DCIS keeps finding people to do all the extra jobs Xander finds that no one's doing."

"Originally we didn't have maintenance guys who fixed things," Brenda told them.  "Things like lightbulbs and stuck doors.  Xander was doing that and helping us.  We learned a lot about home repair helping him with that stuff because it was one of the few times we could get some one-on-one time with him. Though, I gotta agree with some of the girls.  Tony and Xander hired for pretty."

"They're mostly very handsome men," John agreed.  "And pretty women."

"At first it was by recruitment so they went to hire for pretty and competent," she said with a grin.  "Tony did most of the hiring but Xander brought in Ryan the same day he came home possessed by Speed's ghost."

Sam coughed, shaking his head at that.  "Then Horatio, Eric, and Calleigh followed to DCIS when he got his body back and Alexx followed to the town.  Eric was complaining that his mother said he was too far away to get married the other day."

"Eric was complaining there weren't any easy women for him," Brenda shot back.

"Yeah, he and Tony are playboys."  He took that picture to point them out to Bobby.  "That's Horatio, Speed, Calleigh, Eric, Tony, Danny Messer, Don Flack, Mac Taylor, Stella Bonasera, Xander, Ryan Wolfe, and the rest of the team that we hardly ever work with."

"How did he get his body back?"

"Dawn sneezed," Brenda and Sam said together.  John moaned, shaking his head.

"Then they started to share funky dreams from the stupid demon that took out Mary and wanted Sam or a few of the slayers."

"Don't remind me," John told her.  She just grinned and kissed him on the cheek.  He sighed, giving her a hug.  "I know but it's odd.  Especially since they're still sharing dreams."

"Xander's still not admitting he's having visions," Sam told him.

"Has he been?"

"Two that I've got some bleedover from.  One was the invasion.  That's how we knew to send more girls to Chicago.  Not just his just in case feeling as he claimed."  That got a grimace from John.  "He was right though."

"He was," Sam agreed.  "Because that was bad."

Brenda nodded.  "Yes it was.  Waiting wasn't any better."  She pinched him on the arm.  "Bastard."

"Don't teach my niece to swear," he shot back with a look.

"I won't have to.  Dawn will," she said smugly.  "Or possibly her uncle Xander."

"Xander has more sense than that," John assured her.  "Or else I'll spank him."  Bobby laughed.  "I will.  I like the boy.  He's a good boy.  He's a bit insane from all the hunting.  They had nightly patrols out there.  He comes out with some of the strangest stuff now and then."

"The other night he was comparing the prom to beltane," Sam added.

"And that's pretty mild for Xander," John agreed.  "But now and then the boy is one you want to shake for not having sense."

"They had nightly patrols and more than a few apocalypses," Dean said patiently.  "It's what let Xander handle the invasion in LA without freaking out and helping those of us who were.  Because I stopped and nearly crapped myself when I saw that wave of demons."

"Fortunately I had cheese for breakfast that day," Sam quipped, getting him swatted by his father and Brenda.  "I did."

"I nearly crapped watching them come at us," Brenda told him.  "I know Faith started to pray."

"Yeah, did that too," Sam and Dean agreed together.

John nodded.  "You're not the only one."

"I saw that on tv.  Looked really nasty," Bobby told them.  Brenda nodded quickly.  "You were there?"

"Yup.  I was there.  I was nearer to the back of the line because I wasn't anywhere near fully trained but I was there."  She leaned over John to get closer to him.  "A few of the girls snuck some of the soldiers off by 'saving them' from the demons and making them take them out of harm's way to hit on them."

"Which we yelled about later that night," Sam said dryly.  He patted her back, making her belch.  "Pickles again?"

"Yes.  She's driving me nuts with wanting sweet pickles.  It's too early for cravings.  The sites and books all said so."

"That's your body telling you that you need things," John said patiently.  "Probably more vegetables.  I don't know how you managed to get Dean's aversion to vegetables before you even met us."

"Proved I was a hidden Winchester," she teased.

"You definitely are, but not even I can eat as many pickles as you have recently."

"We can do a nice salad tonight," Bobby offered.  She beamed at that and nodded.  "Four months?"

"Yup."

"Any problems?"

"Not yet but I'm told I'll be hogging the bathroom around Halloween."  The guys all smirked and nodded.  "I've talked to Crissy, who had a lot of issues now and then about wanting to go on patrol and Connor tying her to a chair and turning the tv on to PBS to make the kids smarter."

Dean burst out laughing.  "I knew that'd work when he called up asking advice on how to stop her."  John just groaned, shaking his head.  "She wanted to help bust up a party at a demon bar that got out of hand.  It worked, she didn't try it again."

"She was probably traumatized."

"It was at night so she said it was English stuff.  She has no idea why Wesley and Giles don't talk that way."  Bobby snickered, shaking his head.  "They're stuffy and British but not that stuffy."

"Thankfully," John agreed.  "Wes is too stuffy for me sometimes."

"Giles has horses on his estate according to Dawn," Brenda told him.  "Willow told her she did some riding when she went on grief leave."

"I'm surprised he didn't try to take the head office back there then," John said.

"The current hellmouth is in Cleveland and Wes said the head office was going to be there.  Giles never countered that decision," Sam told him.  "You're damn lucky you didn't get to hear some of the conversations Xander and Giles had over the speaker phone in the office."  John nodded at that.  He stretched.  "It's nice that a quarter of the girls and most of the older ones are gone now."  Dean nodded.  "That leaves you with a smaller class."

"Working on what the future ones will need," Dean pointed out.  "Preparing the teams for anything going on and advanced training with other weapons for those who want it."  Brenda beamed at him.  "After you've had my niece and are back in shape.  Like Crissy, you have to pass me and/or Faith again."

"Of course.  But I can do that around the new year and be ready in time for the next apocalypse."

"Speaking of, we need to see what that might be," Sam said.  "And if there's anyone else who's going to try an ascension move."

"Ten days, up the road by about thirty miles," Dean said with a point.  Bobby moaned.  "I've got something in the car in case she changes."

"Can I use it?" Brenda asked.  "You got to use the one in Miami," she pouted when he shook his head.  "Please, Dean?"

"I was going to find Faith and take her so you're not in danger."

She pouted worse.  "I'll be good.  I won't let the huge demon worm anywhere near me.  I promise.  It's safer if I fire on it than if I play bait to draw it.  Faith complained that the last one got her all nasty too."

"We'll see," John said.  She pouted at him.  "I said we'll see."  She slumped, giving him the pathetic, pitiful, please don't kick me look she had learned off Xander.  He sighed.  "You two can flip for it based on the situation," he complained.

"Sure we can," Dean agreed.  "As long as she's in no danger."

"Why would I be?"

"That might be a point," Sam said.  "Hopefully the demon won't see her until it's too late to avoid the rocket or whatever."

"You have real artillery?" Bobby asked.

"Checked out a portal," Dean said with a grin.  "And three things so we can solve it since we heard it's going to happen if they did everything right.  Might as well since we're here."  Someone knocked so he looked back.  "Hold on.  That's Faith."  He went to talk to her outside.  "Hey.  Change your mind?" he asked casually.

"Not real sure.  Checking on Little B work?" she asked, looking upset.

He kissed her and grinned.  "He's not mean.  We spent a lot of time with Bobby when we were little.  Brenda's been telling stupid Xander stories and getting cuddled by Sammy and Dad."  He kissed her again.  "If he says anything we'll hike off."

"They're your family."

"So?"

"Family's important.  You don't realize how important until you lose it."  She looked down then back at him.  "You sure?"

"Of course.  There's even a possible ascension in the next town," he teased.

"Do we need to call the base?"

"Nah, got a portal with three things and Brenda wants to fire it this time."

"We'll see.  Could hurt the belly of doom."  Dean laughed at that.  "You sure he won't mind?"

"No, he won't mind.  Oh, watch out for the devil's trap.  The way the slayer powers are leaves a slight taint."

"Figured that much since the pure girls can play with Binky."

"Good point.  It caught Brenda earlier."

Bobby came out.  "Problems?"

"This is kinda my girlfriend Faith, who is one of the two senior slayers," Dean said.  "Faith, this is Bobby.  He's as near to family as you get without being born a Winchester."

"Hey," she said quietly.

He smiled.  "He picked for pretty and capable.  Didn't expect anything less than that."  She gave him an odd look  "You can come in.  I haven't bitten anything in years that didn't deserve it.  You might even make the young one less nervous."

"I can do that."  She walked in with them.  "Little B, you're all fluttery.  You need a momma nap?"

"No," she snorted, frowning at her.  "You decided to come snuggle Dean?"

"I figured I was bored, he might be lonely, and he said no one's that scary around here.  Even if someone at the local bar did give me odd looks for being a girl who could play pool."  Dean pulled her down into his lap.  "Didn't know I was lap bait or property."

"Lack of chairs," he said with a wicked smirk.  He leaned closer.  "Next time, leave a note?" he whispered.  She nodded, giving him a look.  "I understood.  You know that."  She nodded again.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  Brenda suddenly turned green and ran to the bathroom Bobby had been fixing.

"Water might need to be turned back on," Bobby called.

Faith checked her watch.  "Bit early.  Usually it happens right around five."

John checked his watch.  "It is early.  Brenda, did you eat lunch?"  She retched again.  He sighed, going to get her some ice water and help her with that.

"I'm never doing that," Faith told Dean.

"Not an issue.  That's a personal choice."

"You can adopt," Sam offered.

"Could, but babies scare the crap outta me," she told him.

"I thought it was nice Mary and Anna knew that the babies were evil and still played and cooed anyway," Brenda called from the bathroom.

"All babies are evil," Faith assured her.

"Babies are born pure," Sam sighed, giving her a dirty look.

"Bet me.  They turn people's minds to goo and they make you want what you don't need.  They're evil.  Anna and Mary are right to be afraid of the twins of evil doom."

"Xander make up that name?" Dean teased.

"Mini mouth did."

"Mary will grow into her sarcastic and blurting out tendencies," Sam said with a grin.  "Even if I am refining her quips with Speed's help."

"She could use it.  She called Binky a bratty little crap head the other day," Faith reminded him.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Binky was cranky and kicked her in the butt with her back hooves."

"What is Binky?" Bobby asked.

"Binky and Digger are two of the three pets the slayers have on base," Dean told him.  "They're unicorns.  Binky's the sort that can play with anyone unpure and Digger and play with the pure ones.  Now, the same slayer thing that caught Brenda in the devil's trap means that even the pure slayers can play with Binky.  Digger hates that there's so few virgins on base."

"Especially after the prom night," Faith said smugly.  Dean gave her a look.  She pointed.  He shrugged and gave her a squeeze.  "The other's a little walking demon shrub that growls and shakes his leaves but loves our forensic goddess for feeding him miracle grow for demon shrubs.  When it's too cold for him he rides in the elevators all night."

Bobby shook his head quickly at that.  "That's just too strange."

"George has stuck many people who tried to get close to the girls or Dean," Sam told him.  "He's very protective of his girls."  Dean nodded.  "There's been a few visiting agents who got stuck because they were in his sun or they were staring too long at the girls.  The unicorns are wonderful but Anna hates to shovel the barn."

"She's the one who wanted to keep 'em," Faith pointed out.  Brenda came back and curled up against Sam's side, getting a cuddle.  "Bad?"

"Wish it was the flu so it'd be over soon," she croaked.

"Crissy said hers went away after a month.  Especially after House gave her something for it."

"It's in my bag," John said, going to get it.  He came back with the pill bottle.  "I didn't even think about it, Brenda."  She read the directions then held it up.  "Bobby, can we make her some toast?"

"Go ahead."  They went into the kitchen to make her some toast so she could take the medicine.  He looked at Faith.  "You're not, right?"

"Hell no," she said firmly.  "I'm a firm believer that kids are the reason for birth control."  He smiled at that.  "All slayers are on it thanks to our blood drawing stuff, but that coven of teenage witches were bad to her."

"Coven?  Full one?"

"Ten out of thirteen," Dean said quietly.  "All charged and punished by DCIS."

"Good!"  He smiled as the girl came back.  "It seems bad now but it's a blessing in many ways, Brenda."

"That's why Dean's going to be the one to do the nasty stuff like cutting the cord," she quipped.  John laughed.  Dean gave her an odd look.  "It's you or Xander.  He and House delivered Crissy's twins in the tub."

"We were worried she'd go during the riots out there," Faith reminded her.

"I know.  It's good she held on all the way."  She sipped her water.  "Thanks, Bobby."

"Toast isn't any big thing.  Though I should probably pull out the grill."

"I've got stuff in the ice chest in the truck," John assured him.  "Didn't know if you had done groceries this week or not."

Bobby smiled.  "That's nice of you.  Help me set it up while they rest."  That got a nod and they went to do that.  "She seems sweet, shy, and nice."

"She is until you threaten something she likes.  Then she turns into a very good slayer.  We've done a great job training all the girls but Brenda's been all but a real daughter since day one.   She even looks like Dean.  Came down to help them play with engines so we taught her that.  Loves her weapons."  That got a smile.  "She'll last for a good, long time.  Mary'll be like her Ma but probably a bit wilder now and then.  Brenda was pretty sheltered."

"You called to complain that some of the former watchers that got killed were bad guys."

"Brenda could barely read when she got free of him," he said quietly.  Bobby scowled.  "We helped a lot.  She's the one I took when I went on that hunting trip and got possessed.  Thankfully she's learned to drive since then."  Bobby laughed.  "Seriously.  She was so bad the demon had me take over and drive back to base because she scared him."

Bobby shook his head.  "Sounds slightly insane on base."

"Now and then the girls act up and become girls again.  They didn't know Crissy was going to have twins so the day they heard she gave birth to an extra one all the girls descended on the mall.  Ten hours later they had Dawn send presents over."  He attached the new propane tank.  "Some went to the prom.  Brenda got asked by a pretty nice boy she worked with on a few projects."

"So you're all right with being a grandfather?"

John looked at him then shook his head.  "I'm still mentally getting stuck on that point."  He leaned closer.  "The Powers That Be, the ones who watch over the girls, sent Mary specially to her when the witches did their stupidness," he said quietly.

"She is?" he demanded.  John smiled and nodded.  "Oh, damn."

"It won't be the same but I'll be her Watcher and this time it'll be okay.  She was a daughter before then.  She found out when we did and asked if she could be a Winchester from birth."

"Well."  He considered it.  "She sounds like a caring girl."

"She fusses horribly over Dean and Sam if they get hurt in training or on field calls.  She was in scythe and sword practice with Dean when she got a lucky shot.  She dropped her weapon and pushed him down onto the floor to bandage this little, tiny cut on his arm.  He had to complain for an hour before she let him go.  Cleaned it, bandaged it, fussed over him horribly.  She'll make a good mother."

"You like the other one that much?"

"I like Faith.  She's overcome some things that could've turned her fully evil.  She had her brush with the dark and came back.  She's one the girls look up to now.  She's still wild and a bit more brutal than the others are.  All the Sunnydale crew is," he realized.  "Buffy and Faith were both there for a while."  He smiled.  "She's a good girl underneath.  Had some crappy things around her when she was younger.  Danced on the other side for a few months but she paid for it."  Bobby nodded.  "Then she came out of jail for the fallout in Sunnydale.  Led a section.  Got the girls settled later on.  When the watchers tried to blow the rest of them up, she wasn't caught in the LA explosion so she was the senior girl up and awake.

"She jumped into Cleveland with Wes and helped him set things up.  She's been the big sister the girls needed with Xander playing big brother.  She's a bit tough but she gives a damn and she likes Dean.  They suit each other very well.  She's a superb hunter. Had a few form flaws but she only had a year of having a watcher before she was killed in front of her by a very ancient vamp from what she said."  Bobby nodded slowly.  "She learned and now she's the one teaching the last level of training to the girls. They're keeping it casual but they're good for each other.  Lighten each other's dark sides."

"That's good then.  Did I see her on the news in Miami?"

"Yeah.  That ascension she got to fire off one of the rockets into the demon.  Got gooed for it too."

Bobby laughed.  "This one nearby?"

"Next town to the west, Bobby."

"We'll watch and listen for her then.  You guys staying those ten days?"

"Dean and Faith were going to go off hunting.  We're technically taking Brenda around to introduce her to the ones who might as well be family."

"So a few days here then a few days with Ellen?"

"Probably."

"You might wanna watch out for her daughter Jo.  She's become a bit...set in her ways."

John smirked.  "If she tries for Dean Faith'll knock her out."  Bobby nodded at that.  Faith coughed because she had been listening.  "Another friend's daughter.  The boys worked with her once."  He looked back.  "You have my permission and her mother would say the same thing."

"Sure, I can do that."  She came out.  "Can I help?  Little B's asleep on Sammy's shoulder."

"Know much about grilling?" Bobby asked.

"I know how to toast something when I set it on fire," she offered with a grin.  "I can't really cook."

"Not quite the same.  We can teach you.  It's a good skill to have."   He let her help prepare the grill and put out the food.  John gave her a look.  "You girls eat a lot because you work it back off.  I heard John's comments on some of the dinners you guys have had."

"We can eat like normal girls tonight.  I put on an extra one for Little B."

"That's fine, Faith.  I'm sure she'll appreciate it."  He smiled.  "Where are you and Dean headed to hunt?"

"No idea.  He's driving and he said it'll have at least one ghost at an amusement park."  He laughed.  "Otherwise no idea."

"We're going to be heading to another family friend in a few days by the name of Ellen.  She runs a hunter's bar called the Roadhouse.  I used to hunt with her husband."

"K, I'll let him know."  She walked inside.  "Pappa Scruffy said we're heading to a bar called the Roadhouse in a few days."

"We can do that."  He pulled her down for a kiss.  "Let's go help grill before Dad burns everything again."  She smiled, letting him follow her out.  "Sammy's napping with Brenda."  They came over to tend the grill while Dean taught her how to do this.  "We can hit the Roadhouse.  It's not a problem."

"Jo's become a bit focused, Dean," Bobby warned.

Dean snorted.  "I've got Faith.  She can hunt with me and lets me do anything I want as long as it's good for her.  Why would I want Jo?"

"Good point."  He smiled.  "Just be courteous to her Ma, Faith.  She can hunt but she doesn't want to since it killed her husband."

"Of course I will.  The heathen brats are back on base doing summer work."  She smirked evilly.  "As designed by Xander and Dean."  John laughed.  "And Sammy Staring Time research projects."

"The girls crushed so massively on Sammy," Dean agreed.  "They used to come into the library to stare at him after we first got there.  He'd be researching and hand them a book because they were in there.  That's how the research class started."

"If they don't keep up with it, then he makes 'em take it with Thomas for a bit.  He's a nice older guy from Wales through the Carribean."  Bobby snickered, shaking his head.  "Even some of the older ones called liked their Sammy Staring Time.  It's almost a slayer compulsion to stare at him now and then or to drool on Dean during practice."

"I didn't know you were in research class," Dean quipped with a smirk for her.

She pinched him hard on the side.  "I'm not.  I've seen you both in your boxers.  You have the better body and I'm not the sort to go for brains."  He laughed, giving her a kiss.

John took the fork.  "Give me that before you drop it into the grill, Dean."  He gave him a nudge.  He walked her off to show her the woods.  He and Bobby shared a look then listened.  Faith shrieked when Dean shoved her into the creek then he yelped when she dragged him in to get him back.  "Those two are too cute for words some days.  They went as chaperones for the prom."  Bobby looked at him.  "Not like the girls could carry weapons and there was a good chance it'd be attacked.  We've had a master vamp try to take over close by and everyone in the underground knows about the base.  Xander dressed up Faith in a dress that even made me drool.  Sammy arranged it on Dean's end so they got a private weekend off farther away from the town than the rest of the girls were allowed to go.  They got some fun in.  Some dancing.  Dawn and Brenda got the vamps when they showed up.  They dealt with some petty girls who tried to ruin their dresses by coming out in ones a few of the girls who couldn't go loaned them.  Came out hotter and made them sulk all the way to the office."  He found his wallet and pulled it out to show off the picture.  "That was Brenda's original dress on prom night."

"She looks adorable."

"Yes she did."  He smiled and flipped it.  "That's Dean and Faith that night."  Bobby swallowed.  "Xander did good picking out her dress.  Said since she didn't have one, it was up to her to chaperone so she got a special night to wear a fantastic dress and be the special princess."

"She's a pretty girl."

"Yes she is," Dean said as they walked back.  "Even in wet jeans and boots."  He smirked, going around the house to get them some dry clothes.  Bobby and John laughed.  He came back, looking at the picture.  "Brenda's second dress made her look even hotter.  Dawn's too."  He found his wallet and took out the picture he had snuck from another chaperone's camera.  "There you go.  That's Dawn and Brenda in their second dresses."  Bobby moaned.  "Very.  Those girls got very sorry."  He handed his father the wallet.  "Thankfully I didn't fall on it."  He trudged back that way to ...warm Faith up and dry her off so they could put on some dry clothes.

Bobby looked out that way at the giggling and squealing going on.  "She's loud."

"Not usually."  He heard the crack of a gunshot.  "Dean, you good?" he called.

"Got the possessed deer that came to play with us," he called back.  Faith carried it back for him, dropping it at Bobby's feet then scampering off in her long t-shirt and panties.

John quit blushing a few minutes later.  "Think it's safe to eat?"

Bobby got his flask of holy water and tested the deer.  "Seems okay.  You unpossess it first?" he called.

"Yes," she called back.

"Thanks, kids."  They settled in to field dress the deer and chop it up for freezing.  They were both skilled at this art.  Brenda came out with a yawn, going a bit green at what they were doing.  "You don't have to help us, dear."

"No, I'm good.  I've seen others do it.  It's just that blood is icky."

"It is," John agreed.  "We'll wash it off though."

"Okay."  She looked at the grill, turning things over.  "They were getting a bit crispy on that side so I turned things."

"Thanks," Bobby said with a smile for her.  "You can grill?"

"Now and then my former watcher considered himself a grilling master and used it to hit on women.  He sucked and everything got burned to a crisp."  They nodded, finishing up quickly so they could rescue the food.  Once they cleaned up of course.  Sam was woken up too.  Dean and Faith were gotten by Brenda.  Who came back blushing but they showed up ten minutes later dressed and dried off.  It was a good dinner.

***

Daniel leaned into the practice area, groaning at what he saw.  "Is she all right?"

"She's fine," Xander assured him.  "Just a bit banged up.  I picked up something solid that she didn't figure out she needed to duck."  He straightened up.  "Hit House up.  Then go rest.  We're taking down the nest in the next town later on.  You and me.  Maybe some backup," he said at her incredulous look.  "I took plenty down with Buffy.  Go to the infirmary then nap until dinner."  She got up with a groan, going that way.  He looked at the boss.  "She's coming along pretty well."

"Good.  We have the new liaison officers from Chicago."

"Has Horatio went over what their office needs?"

"We're going to be doing that later.  Take them on the tour, get them set up with rooms?  I've got a conference with someone at the CIA who ran into an enclave of feeder demons."

Xander nodded, going to find the new guys down at the gate.  "Hey, guys.  Xander Harris.  Third in command around here and second in command in the Slayers Council."  He shook their hands.

"I'm Ray Kowalski, this is Benny Fraser, and that's Ray Vecchio."

"Welcome to our base.  I'm to show you guys around, get you guys some temporary housing set up, and then we'll go over what your city needs to set up their own office."

"That'll work," Ray Vecchio said since he was driving.  "Which way?"

"Go to the blue triangle lot," Xander said with a point.  "We just put up some new apartments and there's a few open free that way."  He patted the top of the dark green car.  "We'll get you guys passes once we get you checked in there."  He walked that way, calling on the way.  "Cloris, newbies from the CPD coming in to liaison.  Three of them and one had a pet."  He nodded.  "They're driving that way.  Thanks."  He swung through her office to get keys, then walked out to that building.  "I got keys."  He let them into the building and up to the temporary quarters.  Not full apartments but about the same as a motel room with a mini-fridge.  He let the dog sniff him.  "You might want to watch out for the slayers.  They'll pounce him and pet him bald.  Most of them will coo at him while they do it."

"He can hide," Ray Vecchio assured him.  "He does from my nieces and nephews."

"If you're sure.  We routinely warn that the slayers are teenage girls who squeal, pounce, pinch, and used to panty raid."  Ray Kowalski laughed.  "Honestly."  He let them settle in.  "Okay, let's head to the main building.  That's where most everything is.  Including Horatio since he helps set up most regional offices."  He led them back out, watching the dog sniff around.  He frowned, staring at it then at Benny.  "Constable, is he a normal dog?"

"No, he's part wolf.  How did you know?"

"I'm hearing him in the back of my head."  He shook his head.  "Try to keep the grumpy old guy from me?  I'm a medium and I've sucked in more than one spirit."  Benton gave him a horrified look.  "We have a CSI here that ended up bringing his former lab because I accidentally sucked him in when I was handling a problem in Miami.  Then he got his own body back because he was trying to expand my vocabulary."  He walked them on.  "You might not want him there.  That's the disposal bins for the garage."

"Diefenbaker, don't go near that.  It's oil and antifreeze."  The half-wolf came back.  "Thank you for that warning, Agent Harris."

"Around base, I'm Xander unless you piss me off," he said with a grin.  He walked them on.  "Out there is the unicorn's stable.  They're usually wandering around but that gave them some private space.  The light gray one will play with you.  The white one can only play with virgins but he'll sniff you and probably play chase and tag with Diefenbaker.  Now and then he does with George and the one guard who smokes.  As long as you hide the smokes in your hand, it's not usually going to get you chased around but if they see it, you'll be running for the building."  He smiled and walked off.  "And we're walking to the main building.  Inside on the bottom level is the infirmary and the gym with the pool.   On the main level is the security office, the armory, the gym for PT and training, and the dining hall."  That got a nod.  "I will warn you that the girls eat a lot."  He walked them on.  "We're going to the security office and then to the third floor. The second is the labs.  The third is our work area and the desks.  Plus the boss's office.  So we're walking this way.  Oooh, there's George.  He's harmless as long as you don't stand in his sun or try to pounce one of the girls.  Hi, George."  He leaned down to pet a branch.  "How are you today?"

Ray Vecchio stared at the little walking shrub. "It was walking."

"Yeah.  George is a harmless demon species.  He's very protective and helpful actually."

"He's a walking bush," Vecchio repeated.  He shook his head slowly.  "That's not normal. That's not right."

Xander smiled at him.  "He's got poisoned spikes too."

"That's not right," he repeated.

"Let's get him to the infirmary so he can take a nap," Fraser said quietly.

"Of course."  He called down there.  "Chase, one of the new guys that's in to build their own office in Chicago is presently having a freak-out from George.  Courtyard."  He hung up and moved them.  "Out of his sun.  He will get you with a sharp spike."  George rattled his branches in a pleased way.  "I know, it's good for you."

Benton shrugged and leaned down.  "It's nice to meet you, George."  It tipped some branches his way so he rubbed them like he had seen Xander do.  The bush seemed happy.  "He's quite nice.  How can you tell he's male?"

"The berries."

Ray Kowalski waved.  "Hey, George."  A guy in a doctor's coat came out.  Ray Vecchio was nearly whimpering.  "I think the little shrub guy broke him."

"We've seen that before.  Be a good boy, George.  Abby's back from her trip to see Rodney."  He hurried up that way.  "We're in the basement when you want to have him back.  Come on, detective.  You can come take a nap in the quiet ward," he soothed, walking him off.  "Try in about an hour, gentlemen."  He walked him down there.  "House, George upset his sensibilities."

"He does it to me now and then too.  Watch out, Digger's in there stretched out so we can work on his side where Binky got pissed at him for being a guy."

"Sure."  He walked him to another ward so he could have a nice, quiet nap.

Xander smiled at the guys.  "It happens now and then."  He walked them into the security office.  "Guys, these are two of the three from the CPD.  The other's with Chase."

"I saw that on the monitor."  The head of security came out at his page.  "Chicago PD, sir."

"Let's get you guys badges so we know you belong here."  He got them their temporary badges and handed them over once they were printed.  "There you go.  The elevators all use these.  When he wakes up we'll get your friend one."  That got a nod.  "There's always someone in here even during base assaults and dinner so whenever he wakes up is fine with us.  Horatio just headed back up there from the library."

"It shares some space with the lab," Xander told them. "There's some storage areas up there too."  He walked them up to the duty floor.  "Horatio, two of the three CPD people."

"Nice to meet you, gentlemen.  Let's go to our conference room so we can spread out and see what you have already set up."   He led them that way.  "We can get you some coffee or something if you need it."

"I could use some water or somethin'," Ray Kowalski said.

"Let me," Xander offered.  He went to get water and a pitcher of coffee.  He brought it back up with one of the slayers.  "Here we go," he said as he came back in.  Anna let go of Diefenbaker.  "Why is Digger in the infirmary?"

"Binky had a womanly outrage moment and stabbed him in the side in a moment of domestic violence.  He had to let House stitch him."  She smiled.  "Can I play with the dog?"

"If he wants.  He's gentle and has played with children in the past," he assured the worried looking agent.  One he had seen take down a very large demon with a sword just a few weeks earlier.  "Diefenbaker, she wanted to know if you wanted to play."  The half-wolf sniffed her then followed her out to play with her and Binky.  "Thank you kindly," he said when he took a glass of ice water.  "I am also passing it back to my superiors in the RCMP to see if we want to set up our own office."

"Of course you are," Xander agreed.  That got a smile.  He got the usual book list and the other things to make copies for them.  Then he came back.  "Here you go.  Horatio, we're taking out that problematic nest tonight."

"You and who?"

"Shea."

Horatio grimaced.  "The reports we have say it's got at least sixty vampires, Xander."

"I'll talk to Gwen or someone about shadowing us and backing us up.  Shea has to know *why* she needs the extra training to be a senior girl."

"We'll warn the doctors later," Horatio said.  "I can handle this part if you want."

"Okay."  He went to deal with his usual daily workout he had been skipping and to check the weapons.  Gwen was usually in there at the moment.  If not, he could page her.  Shea would get this lesson soon enough.  She came trotting in.  "We're taking out that nest tonight.  You're the backup."

She gave him an odd look.  "Backup?"

"Backup.  Me and Shea are going in first."  He gave her a look.  She groaned.  "She's going to be senior in New York," he said quietly.  "She's still complaining that they don't need this sort of training to hunt."

"I heard.  Sure, I'll shadow you guys.  How many are we looking at?"

"At least sixty."  She shuddered. "Call Spike and ask him."  She nodded, moving to do that while he found the swords and other things he'd be taking with them tonight.  "Do you want one of the new scythes or a sword?"

"Scythe."  She got hers.  He put a pair out for Shea as well.  "Are you taking a sword?"

"Yup."  He grinned.  "I do better and those are slayer only weapons.  We registered the design with the patent office."  She beamed at that.  "Go ahead and make sure both sets are sharp."

"She should do hers."

"She's napping off forgetting how to duck," he said dryly.  "Plus I've been mean to her for the last few days.  We've been doing all day in there."  She shuddered.  "Rona and Cho showed up yesterday and they could tie with me.  Buffy tied with me."  She laughed.  "Yeah, she's slacking.  Her pants were tight," he said dryly, giving her pants a look.

"It's PMS, Xander."

"I know you do daily PT."  He smiled.  "I'm proud of how you girls keep doing it."

"Thanks."  She got to work sharpening things.   He did his sword.  She did the scythes and the stakes.  It was comfortable to prep for battle as slayers were supposed to do.

***

Faith looked around the bar, then at Dean.  "Not as rowdy as our usual places."

"No, it's not.  Then again it's not nighttime either."  He ate a nut, smiling at her.  "Think Brenda's puking again?"

"The medicine helps a lot but probably."  A blonde girl came out.  She looked tired and washed out but she was glaring at her.  "That her?"

"Yup."  He ate another nut and took a drink of his beer.  "Your mom sleeping in too?"

"How did you get in, Dean?"

"Dad taught us to pick locks," he said dryly.  "How do you think?"

"Who's she?"

"Faith," she said with a smile.

"Uh-huh."

"Let me reintroduce myself.  I'm the senior slayer Faith."  The girl's pale face went paler.

"My girl," Dean said with a grin.  She looked at him.  "You are."

"I thought we weren't going to go for official stuff."

"We're not.  We can date forever if you want.  That still makes you a girlfriend.  No strings attached and I'd run if you tried to pull any outta your knife holster."

She smirked.  "I like that attitude."  She sipped her beer.  "John'll be here soon with Sammy and Little B.  They had a flat."

"That happens I guess.  Let me get Mom up."  She went back to their living quarters.  "Mom, Dean's in with his girlfriend."  And wasn't that something to swear about.  She was a gorgeous brunette with breasts that stood up without help and was a hunter too.

"How did he get in?"

"He said his daddy taught him how to pick locks."

"Wonderful."  She walked out running her fingers through her hair.  "Dean, it's not polite to break in."

"Needed some peanuts and beer," Faith told her.  "Sammy was horrible last night so we made him ride with Papa Scruffy."

Ellen looked at the girl.  No wonder her daughter was pissed.  "You're a hunter?"

"No.  I'm a slayer."  Ellen moaned.  "Faith.  Senior slayer."  They shook hands.  "Dean seems to think he's claimed me."

Dean gave her a smug look.  "I didn't say anything about claiming but if you want to...."  She kicked him under the table, making him laugh.  "Fine, we won't do that."

"Hell no we won't," she agreed dryly.  "Not unless you think you have chains that way," she quipped back with an evil smirk.

"Of course I do.  Have to have some when you're hunting."  He smirked. "If you wanna play that way, all you have to do is tell me, Faith."

"If I lose my mind, I'll let you know."

"Sure.  Of course we'd have to wrestle or something to see who ended up on top."  She growled at that, a pleased sound.  He smiled at Ellen.  "We're taking some time off to introduce Brenda to the near family and things like that.  Faith and I are hunting while we browse around on our own for a bit.  We needed off base and the Winchester Family Roadtrip is going to drive Dad nuts soon."

"How far away is he?"

"About an hour.  He got a flat about twenty miles from Bobby's."  She nodded at that, heading behind the bar to make sure they hadn't made a mess.  "Oh, big news with the daughter."

"She's pregnant?" Ellen asked.  "You're not showing yet.  How far along are you, Faith?"

"No, no way.  Not me.  Brenda.  The one Papa Scruffy adopted."

"John said something about finding a slayer that was like a daughter."

"She's pregnant thanks to some witches but the child's blessed."

"Poor thing.  How old is she?"

"Seventeen," Faith said.  "The witches were punished.   The Powers That Be love the family."

Dean nodded.  "Yup.  She'll be a slayer some year too."

"Her mother is hunting that way?"

"Hell no," Dean said firmly.  "There's no way in hell dad would let her hunt, Ellen.  She's so much like me and Sammy.  Dad and she tinker with engines.  She's got a love of weapons."

"She named the teddy bear John won for her at the state fair Rock Salt," Faith added dryly.

"She did?" Dean asked with a grin of his own.  Faith nodded.  "Does Dad know?"

"Teased her for a bit but she's happy with Rock Salt.  Said he'll go to protect little Mary."

"That's going to be one spoiled girl," he assured her.

"He's going to get her to name it Mary?"

"Brenda asked us if we'd mind and if we'd let her give the baby the Winchester last name," Dean said proudly.  "She's exactly like a female Winchester should be.  But she's a good girl like Sammy is."  Ellen snickered a bit at that.  "A bit tired right now."

"That happens sometimes when you're pregnant.  How far?"

"Four months.  Just over."

"That's good."  She went into the kitchen.  "You two need food?"

"Nah, we ate at the burger shack up the road.  Thanks though," Faith called after her.  She looked at Dean.  "She seems okay."

"She's not bad.  Nearly shot dad in the ass with her shotgun once.  Then again, Bobby did shoot him in the ass once with rock salt."  She laughed at that.  "Yeah, Dad was having one of his pigheaded moments.  They happen frequently when we're on the road."  Jo came back out.  "How's things been around here?"

"Not bad.  How's the base?"

"Pretty decent.  No one flunked this year.  A few lower grades so Dad got to scowl but not bad."  She nodded.  "The older ones called are mostly back at home.  They have enough to be able to protect themselves or handle small problems.  If they want time for more serious training they'll come back for their next vacation time too.  Most couldn't take that much time off."

"Most are competent to handle a vamp or six," Faith agreed.   "Only a few live in areas that have known demon activity."  She looked at him.  "Did you talk to Xander about Shea's training?"

"No.  Why?  She call?"

"Yup."  She took another drink.  "Xander took her into the 'grab a weapon' room.  Showed her what a real fight is like."  He groaned.  "She's getting it.  He told her she'll be senior in New York since the other two are full-time plus stress workers."

"Olivia's got a hard job that I can't see even Dad doing.  Dad would kill some of the slimebags she deals with."

"So would I," Faith agreed.  "But she'll be senior so they're giving her advanced training and advanced demonology on what's already there and set up as peaceful and not."

"That's good.  Who's doing that?"

"Gibbs got it from Wes.  He's going over it with her since he has to know.   He's backing X up on the training stuff.  He even brought in Buffy for a demo.  Took them forty-five to get through it."  Dean nodded, looking impressed.  "It came to a tie."

"Buffy's off her training?"

"Apparently."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "Shea said he taunted her into attacking first by telling B that her pants were too tight."  Dean laughed.  "So it came down to blades at the throat."

"That's not bad.  She'll get back in shape.  Dawn will nag her."

"B takes those moods now and then, Dean.  Usually when she thinks Xander's too normal for a bit."

"I doubt she'll be seeing that after a tie."

"Hopefully not.  Last time he nearly went off on her."  She stole a few of the nuts, letting him have the beer.  "So, Jo, are you hunting?"

"Mom doesn't want me to."

"It's dangerous," Ellen called from the kitchen, coming out with bowls.  "You two visited Bobby's already?"

"Stopped there first," Dean agreed, taking his bowl.  "You didn't have to."

"Yes I did."  She smiled at Faith.  "The boy has a bottomless stomach."

"So do most slayers.  That's why we pay half the food costs at DCIS."  Ellen laughed.  "Honestly.  Last Thanksgiving had five turkeys and three hams and there wasn't any leftovers."  Ellen and Jo gaped.

"The girls work it off," Dean assured them.  "There's no fat slayers."  He dug in with a moan.  "Good, Ellen, thanks."

"Welcome, Dean."

"Thank you," Faith agreed.

"Welcome, Faith."  She went back to the bar to clean it up for the day.  "Where to after here?"

"We were thinking Jim's," Dean said.  "Maybe Caleb if he's not gone.  We couldn't find out one way or another."

"He is," she said.

He nodded.  "Sorry to hear that."  He looked at Faith.  "We'll split off for a while and head to the amusement park?"

"Sure."

"If you're talking about the small park by Duluth, it's been fixed," Ellen said.

"There's others I'm sure," Dean told her.  She nodded at that.  He dug in again.  "Wherever you want, Faith."

"I...."  She looked at him.  "Think we can hit the east coast for a bit?"

"Want to see the old haunts?"

"Yeah, I think I should.  Put it behind me and the like."

"Sure, we can hit Boston."  She smiled and ate another bite.  "We can even take out the one that's plaguing Father Philip's church for him."  He shook his head.  "If he hasn't."

"I don't think he's the sort to dig up graves."

"Probably not.  I wanted to meet the guy since he used to hunt."

Ellen came back over.  "Another priest?"

"He went back to the church but he used to be one of the ones that you called on for quiet exorcisms and the like.  When someone on the team got hit in Georgia, they went to him.  He's high on hell's hit list but he makes holy water that can even burn normals."

"Damn," she said, thinking about that.  "Tell him about the bar if he needs help."

"I will.  He's in Boston right now."

"That's fine.  We all know it'll come for him some day if he used to hunt."

"Yup.  With a group in San Fran," Dean told her.  She groaned, walking off.  "We know them?"

"Secret society sorts.  Like the watchers only worse about their privacy."

"They have girls they're raising as soldiers too?" Faith asked.

"Nope, just adult members.  They take on some of the higher stuff and artifacts."

"That's good to know," Dean agreed.  "Have to remember that."  He ate another bite.  The door opened to admit Sam and Brenda, who headed for the bathroom.  "The tire fixed?"

"Yeah.  Brenda did the lug nuts for Dad."  John walked in and Sam sat down beside Faith.  "How was your ride?"

She smirked at him.  "It's not usually a bad one."

"Not that one, Faith.  I figure if Dean was bad in bed you'd have dumped him or taught him better by now."  She cackled, nodding.  "The road's a bit worn on the way."

"My girl's shocks are still sound," Dean promised him.  "It was a smooth ride for us."

"I know I need to get the shocks and struts replaced on the truck," John told him.  Brenda came out.  "Cleaned up?"

"Yup."  She smiled at Ellen and Jo.  "Hi, I'm Brenda."

"She's as close as I'll get to a daughter," John said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"So Dean told us.  And a grandchild?"

Brenda blushed.  "Not my doing.  The witches did it."

"So he said.  You okay to eat?"

"We ate at the burger place, ma'am."

Ellen smiled.  "Go sit down and steal Dean's food.  He doesn't need to get fat.  He'll lose Faith."  She laughed, going to sit down next to Dean.  She looked at John.  "She's cute and polite."

"She's every bit a Winchester," he assured her.  He pulled a chair over to look around.  "No one in yet?"

"Dean broke in because I was doing stuff in the house," she said dryly.  John glared at his son.  "How's things otherwise?"

"Pretty good.  The girls are training hard.  We're in the summer slow down for slayer stuff but the DCIS teams are starting to get cases again.   We did damn good work with the riots."

"Yes we did," Brenda agreed.

"I still wanted you on base," John told her.  She shrugged.  He stared at her.

"I'm a slayer, John.  There wasn't that much risk with that one and I had plenty of backup.  Even if the Chicago PD did get a bit huffy.  We handled it."

"I still wanted you in one of the less volatile situations."

"I'm one of the better slayers.  I go where I'm needed to handle things.  That's the slayer way.  I promise I'm not going to endanger her.  Even Chase said there was very little chance I could've been hit hard enough to miscarry her."

"Don't do it again."

"Yes, John.  Not unless there's another apocalypse."

"Then we'll lock you in a closet," Faith assured her.  "Until you pass me again."  She sighed but nodded, digging into Dean's lunch.   Faith let Sam have hers.  Sam dug in, eating with a hum of pleasure.  "Those guys from the CPD get there?"

"Yup," John said with a grin.  "Today."

"Bet they're not happy."

"Not fully but they're handling it okay.  One freaked out at George the walking shrub," Sam said with a grin.  "Xander had to have him sedated by House."  He ate one last bite, offering the rest to his father, who shook his head.  So Sam ate the rest.  "Shea's still sore.  She called a few minutes ago to complain that Xander was making her work harder than he was Cho and Rona."

"She needs it.  New York's a big city with a lot of possible problems.  She came in low on the training scale."  Dean nodded.  "We've done a lot with the girl, but she's got to be able to get past Connor and me to be able to handle it on her own most of the time."

"She said Connor showed up with the other two and Gwen since she's heading Vienna.   Gwen kicked Connor's butt."

"She should be able to," Dean agreed.  "He's only a champion.  She's a slayer.  The others?"

"Rona tied.  Cho nearly tied then Connor flipped her and won.  Xander had let Shea rest while they tested them.  She had over an hour to rest and Connor got her down in about ten minutes.  Xander told her it was better than she had done her first day.  Connor groaned and took her to work with using Rona to help."

"She'll learn," Faith agreed.  "She's going to be senior in New York.  That means she'll be doing a lot of hunting on her own."  She licked the spoon from Dean's breakfast when Brenda handed him back the rest.  Dean took it back and went back to eating with it.  She grinned at him for that move.  "She'll be fine.  Is she going to see her parents?"

"If they're here I'll call Dawn to let her come over for a night," John told her.  "Ellen, are Shea's parents showing up anytime soon?"

"They can.  They wanted to know how she was.  She hasn't written and you haven't called recently."

"She's going to be the senior girl in New York.  She's been put onto advanced training that's wearing her butt out," Dean said with a grin for her.  "Xander's making sure she can handle a full out assault if she has to."

"That's good for her.  Let me call her parents."  She found her phone book and called out there.  "It's Ellen.  The Winchester clan is in and said they can get Shea here for a bit to visit if you wanted."  She smiled.  "That's fine.  Sure.  We're here."  She hung up.  "They'll be in late tonight."

"We can break for a few days," John promised.  He called the base.  "Xander, let Shea go for a few days so she can visit with her parents.  You're doing what?"  He grimaced.  "Why?"  He nodded at the 'breaking her attitude' answer.  "Could help.  Tonight or tomorrow?  That's good.  Sure, we'll be waiting."  He hung up.  "They're hunting the master that's in the next town.  He took her with him."  Dean shuddered.  "It's not that huge of a nest.  Maybe sixty."

"Him and Shea?  Alone?"

"Gwen's got their back."

"Good.  Then they'll hopefully only be bruised."  He looked at his father.  "Why now?  We were going to do a full clean out this weekend."

"Shea's complaining that she doesn't need it to hunt."

Sam shuddered. "Poor girl.  Xander's going to turn her into Xena soon."

"Possibly.  It'll do her good and save her life," John told him. "The same as yours does you, Sammy."

"I know."  They settled in to talk to Ellen and Jo until others came in and could talk to them.   It was good for them.

***

Shea came out of the portal later that night.  She was bruised.  She had a few bandages and some stitches airing on her forehead.  John looked at her.  "More than we expected?"

"I...  Just don't, John."  She sat down next to Brenda.  She looked at them.  "Hunting one spirit has nothing on hunting a nest."  They nodded.  "You knew?"  They smiled and nodded.  "Buffy did this by herself?"

"No, she had Xander backing her up and sometimes Red," Faith told her.  "Angel too now and then.  The girls before Buffy did it on their own and most of them didn't have watchers that wanted to get dirty.  How many?"

"Sixty-four and a master.  Gwen got knocked out by him.  Xander shot him with his service piece when he came for me."

"How many did you get?" Brenda asked.

"Twenty-four or something."  She slumped.  "I'm so tired.  I had no idea it was like that."

"Vamps rarely come in singles unless you're getting them just coming up," Faith instructed.  "That's why the training to be a slayer is so much more than the training to be a hunter."

"I'm training them all to the slayer standard," Brenda told her.  "It can only save their lives."

"True," Dean agreed.  He patted Shea on the back.  "You'll live and take a nap."

"I'd better take a nap soon.  Xander let me have a long rest and dinner before we went."  She looked at him.  "Do you do that?"

"No.  We'd send in a holy water bomb or something first.  Maybe burn down the house they were in if it was clear of others."

"I suggested that.   Xander said they had hostages."

"Was he right?" Faith asked.

"Yeah.  He was right.  We freed them and got them to the ER."  She leaned her head on Brenda's shoulder.  "Maybe I don't want to be the senior girl in New York."

"If you're heading there you will be," Faith said.  "That's why we senior girls have to be so much better.  Because we have to do some admin stuff and ride on the other girls too when they slack off.  I don't know how many times I made the girls clean with a crossbow."  She whimpered.  "You'll be around your brother.  Not sharing a slayer house."

She nodded.  "That's good to know."

"Get the local ME's to let you in when they have one that's going to raise," Dean advised. "It'll be easier than trolling all the cemeteries."  She nodded at that.  "That'll leave you for ones already up and walking and other problems that can't be handled by the cops or liaising with that office they have locally."

"Which means you won't be alone," Brenda said gently.  She gave her a hug.  "It'll be okay.  Just think, I've already been through that training with John."

Shea snorted.  "I'm sure he was harder than Xander is."

"Nope," John said. "I can't use the bladed weapons as well as Xander does.  I'm more used to shotguns and machetes.  Xander was trained with crossbows and swords."

She looked at him.  "I can have a few days off?"  He nodded.  "That's good.  Connor's really fast."

"He got the best benefits of his vampire parents," Dean reminded her.  "If you can beat Connor you can beat a master vamp."

"Good point.  Damn I suck."

"You're still in training.  You can't suck while you're training," Brenda said firmly.  "You can only get better."  She nodded at that.  "Now perk up.  Your mother's across the room."

Shea looked over.  "Mommy, I feel like shit."

"I can see why.  What did you do, Shea?"

"Nest."  She walked over there to talk to them.  "I'm going to be the senior girl when I get to New York so I have to take the advanced training.  Me and Xander took out a nest with Gwen backing us up if we needed it.  I got twenty-four vamps."  The portal opened and her bike was walked through.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"Welcome.  You'll need her for a few days.  I let Mary pack you clothes for four days.  Xander said you have four days to get back to base and I've got a date that night."  Shea nodded at that warning.  "So have fun."  She skipped back through and the portal closed.

"That was Dawn.  Buffy's little sister.  She's a pretty powerful white witch."

"Putting it mildly," Ellen said.  "How did she do that?"  Shea shrugged.  Brenda and Faith both shrugged too.  "She does it often?"

"When we need to move the troops fast or if Abby wants to get to her boytoy," Faith told her.  "She can do a few a day.  It's helped.  That's how we got to Georgia and how we got to LA for their invasion.  Plus all the other ones."

"She's staying on the light," John assured her.  "We watch Dawn very carefully.  So does Xander, who's like a big brother to her."  Sam nodded at that.  "She's looked at the line but never stepped that close to it.  With her sister being the top senior slayer, she's got a good handle on the problems and she wants to be a watcher anyway."

"That's good I guess.  Keeps her sane and on the good side."  She shook her head.  "Any other shocks?"

"Somehow she, my two boys, and Xander ended up mentally bound for a bit thanks to them having a go at the Powers That Be for trying to kill Xander," he said dryly.  She moaned.  "It's what let us kill the demon that got Mary."  She smiled at that.

"Damn glad we got him out of the way since he was hyping things," Faith said.  Dean nodded, his mouth was full.  "So any word on that one?" she asked John.

"Bobby and I scouted.  We think she'll make it.  We'll be ready."

"I've got it in my trunk," Dean said.

"I can do it," Brenda said quickly.  "Please?"

Dean and John shared a look then shrugged.  "Fine," John said.  "As long as you're not in any danger, young lady."

"Yes, John."  She gave him a hug.  "I do try to stay out of trouble."

Shea looked over.  "Do I need to help?"

"It'll be outside your leave time but we'll have an ascending one nearer to Bobby, another friend and hunter, in about seven days," Faith told her.  "You know, she could come watch.  It's a learning experience. Thank god I was in a coma for the one in Sunnydale.  That was pure desperation and a nasty thing from what I heard."

Dean looked at her.  "You were?"

"Yeah, B knocked me into one the night before when we rumbled."

"Good.  Well, not good but it's good you got to miss that one."  She kissed him.  "Thanks."

"Babbling isn't nearly as cute on you as it is on Sammy or Xander."  Shea snickered at that.  "Isn't it?"

"Yup.  Sam, my paper's going to be late."

"I figured it would be.  With Xander doing your training you probably haven't had time to spend in the library.  Give it to me by the end of the month, Shea."  She moaned at that.

"Hey, B did school while hunting," Faith reminded her.  "On the old hellmouth."  Shea slumped.  "You know they had nightly patrols.  Feel blessed, Shea."

"I do.  I don't want to be Buffy.  Beyond that she's kinda uptight now and then, I'd die with what she had to deal with."  Her mother gave her a hug.  "I'm doing good, Mom, but the advanced training is showing me I'm spoiled."

"That's okay, dear.  Maybe you shouldn't go to New York.  You could come home instead."

"No, I want to go live with Brother for a while.  It means we won't fight."

"Good point."  She gave her an extra squeeze then let her go when her daughter moaned.  "Sore?"

"I have bruises in the shape of the mats on the floor."  She put her head back down.  Her mother patted her gently on the back.

Dean looked over.  "We had to break her from training in her heels," he assured her with a grin.  "I finished her hunter's training.  Faith and Brenda were doing her slayer training.  Now Xander's got her for advanced training."

"Seven hours the first day in a room of weapons and he attacked so I had to pick up whatever and use it against him," she complained.  "We only got a break for lunch.  Then he made me *swim*."

"Figured out why?" John asked patiently.  She nodded quickly.  "It help with the cramps?"

"Yup, sure did.  I didn't miss that again."  She looked over at him.  "Can I have other slayers in New York?"

"If some want to go," he agreed.  "After we hear from you how bad it is."

She nodded.  "Okay."  She looked at her parents.  "I learned a lot from Dean and them.  Now I've got Connor and Xander on my butt with the Marine."

"Gibbs is a good watcher," John told her.

"Maybe but he's hard!"

"Yup," Sam agreed.  "Because that'll keep you alive."  He looked over at her.  "The more training you have, the more you're likely to be able to save yourself and others.  That's why I've been taking training time with him and Taylor too."  She slumped at that.  "Dean too.  Dean's been taking a martial arts class once a week too."

She looked at him.  "Can I do that?"

"Once you pass the advanced training.  You won't have the energy for it," Dean told her.  She nodded.  "It's hard but so is New York.  The other girls have been in the field for a lot longer than you have, Shea.  Cho and Rona have both run the Cleveland house and parts of LA when Morgan and Crissy needed help.  We know they can handle it if an apocalypse starts in their town and be calling for help at the same time.  You're doing good for how long you've been training.  Once you pass this it's all on you to keep up your skills."

"Flabby slayers die faster," Faith agreed.  She nodded at that wisdom.  "It means you can nag the other two into it too."

"Yes, Faith.  I'll do my best."

"Which is what we want," John assured her.  "Beating Xander and Connor in there is the ideal.  If you can't manage it, they'll graduate you when you've reached your limit."  She nodded at that.  Her mother looked happier.  "Then you'll have to figure out how you're setting up out there with him."

"He's already said I could have his spare room.  Am I getting a job?"

"All the girls on field assignment get paid," Sam reminded her.

"But it's not a lot."

"We'll work on the housing out there for you," John promised.  "I've already talked to Wes about that."  She smiled and relaxed further.  "Spend time with your parents, Shea.  You only have four days of shore leave."

"Yes, John."  She hugged her mother again.  "They feed us a lot.  I got to be one of the chaperones for the prom the high school had.  Xander picked girls who hadn't went to theirs to do it.  Faith and I did it.  Then he made sure I got something hot yet tasteful to go in."

"That's good of him.  Do you have pictures?"  Shea dug them out to go over with her.  She smiled.  It sounded like they were training her daughter even if she didn't want to.  "What sort of nest was it?"

"Vampires.  Sixty-four and a older master making more minions.  He attacked the prom but Dawn got most of them and Brenda got one that wasn't gotten by the light spell so we didn't have to get nasty."  She looked over at Brenda, who was getting a long look at by John and Dean.  She giggled.  "Sorry, Brenda."

"I had a broom," she told them.  "Spike was there so I let him have him.  That way I didn't mess up my dress."

John shook his head.  "Sure.  Next time, tell us that part too."

"Dawn only left one."

"Good."

"I thought you told him," Dean told her.

"Nope.  Because he'd fuss."

"Yeah, in for it now," Sam agreed dryly.  He frowned, rereading the paragraph.  "How did she come to that conclusion?"  Faith came over to read, then burst out laughing.  "I think she got that paragraph from Xander's mind."  He made notes for it and overstruck that part of the document for her.  Then he sent it back to her.  He went onto his next paper.  "Mayan magical practices.  Huh.  Haven't researched that yet."  He went over it, correcting some grammar things for her.  "We need to help Cho with her English structure."

"Common non-english speaker problems?" John asked.  Sam nodded, still reading.  "They'll work on it and it'll be fine.  She does pretty good speaking."  Sam smiled and went back to it.  "Let us know if they found anything interesting."

"One went into the sexual history of slayers," he said dryly.  "How some got broken in because they were drawing things."  He looked over.  "I flunked that one because it didn't cite any books or references and it was a lot of conjecture about how."  He went back to reading while Dean and Faith giggled.

"Your stalker?" Brenda asked.

"Kim.   She was teasing Amber with it."  He smirked at her.  "I'm sure your next one will be very good."

"I try but I suck at writing papers."

"That's a matter of practice," he said patiently.  He went back to reading, making a few other corrections then sending it back with his suggestion file.  Including to find another source or three if she could.

"I thought you were chatting with the girl in Brazil," Dean teased.

"Nope, I'm catching up on the research papers.  She's off on a work related conference in Nicaragua until the 23rd."

"Pity.  I know you two have talked a lot," Dean said.

Sam looked over at him.  "We're not chatting *that* way, Dean.  She's studying the history of slayers.  I've been giving her non-specific information."  He went back to reading.  "Mostly she wanted to know the history of the ones down near where she lives.  She thinks a local legend was a slayer in the last century."

"Interesting.  Is she right?" John asked.

"It sounds like it could have been.  She's not in the books but they missed Buffy too."  That got a nod.  "So she's tracking that down to present to her local government to make her named a local heroine and get a statue or something erected."  He went back to reading, passing that one back with a good grade.  It wasn't the best work but he'd give it a B.  B plus if she got pushy.  He found he was clear and came over to sit with them.  "Not too bad.  I sent back four that needed corrections and Gwen's passed with a B for being a bit light on the information value."  That got a nod.  "Most of them have decided they only want to look at me, not date me, after having me in class for a bit."

Faith smirked.  "Afraid of your giant brain, Sammy?"

"They think I need someone smarter, not tougher."  He smirked back.  "Which might be nice sometime in the near future."

"We'll start looking for good girls for you," Brenda assured him.

"Could've sworn you were doing the naughty chatting with her," Dean told him.  "You were talking about dicks."

"Her last name was Coxler, Dean," he said patiently.  "I have more class than to have chat sex.  Like hiring a hooker, it's not my thing."

"Good to know," John said.  "Change subjects around your sister."  Brenda blushed.  He gave her a look.  "You're only allowed to date too."

"I know.  If and when I find a nice guy like Crissy did, it'll be on and I'll chase him down and do things that would make Faith and Dean blush or cheer."  John moaned, shaking his head.

"Just remember, handcuffs chafe," Sam told her.  "Anyone who's been chained up as often as we have knows that."

"I'll remember that and get him soft ones," she teased.  Shea gave her a horrified look.  "What?"

"You're going to be that naughty?"

"Maybe.  If he wants."

"Am I in an alternate universe?  Did Dawn screw up?" Shea asked John.  Who shook his head.  "Are you sure?"

"It's the hormones," he promised.  "They do it to every woman."  The mothers in the room nodded at that.  "Even my wife."

"That's why Sammy's so straight.  She was too tired from potty training me," Dean quipped.

John looked at him.  "No, I did that for you, son.  You had some bad habits that she couldn't stop.  She was more tired because Sammy never quit kicking once his feet formed.  Even then she still managed to find her naughty moments and you had a babysitter for the nights we went out.  Mostly because you used to try to climb in with us and say she was going to be yours."

Dean blushed.  "I'm sure every boy does that."

"Yup," Ellen agreed.  "From what I've seen every boy does that sometime.   You know he was trying to get Sammy out sooner, John."

"Probably true."  He patted his son on the back of the head then looked at the one napping against his arm.  "We should hit the motel," he said quietly.

Faith looked.  "Keys, Dean?"  He handed them over.  "Sammy, go unlock the Impala."  He went to do that while she got up and carefully grabbed Brenda to carry her off.  She had done it a few times over the last few months.  Brenda complained in a mumble against her neck but oh well.  She laid her in the backseat, taking the blanket from Sam to cover her.  "There you go.  You nap, Little B."  She snored and shifted to face the back of the seat, covering her head.  "Good girl."  She took off her shoes and put them down next to the door then locked and closed it.  They went back inside.  "There, she's in the backseat."

"That's fine.  No one would dare touch the Impala," Dean assured her, making room so she could slide in next to him.  She considered it then gave in.  He grinned.  She gave him a shoulder nudge.  "Any particular theme park you want to hit?"

"Not a lot of roller coasters?  I'm not sure I like 'em."

"We can do that."  She smiled.  "There's a nice Six Flags near Chicago.  Or St. Louis if you want to head toward the south."

She nodded.  "We can do that.  We'll plan it out tomorrow.  After we give Little B the fixing it package."

"Sure."  He smiled at his father. "You sure you can handle it?"

"I saw the tape of Miami's."

"Okay," he agreed.  "You know how to use the portal system?"  John nodded, giving him a patient look.  He looked at Faith.  Who shrugged.  "Sammy, you going with us or him?"

"Him and Brenda.  That way she finally gets a vacation."  She beamed at him for it.   "You deserve it, Faith.  You do a lot with the younger girls.  You and Xander held the Council and the girls together more than once.  He got to go to Vegas and play that game.  This'll be your escape that you bring back wild stories from."

She gave him a wicked smirk.  "I'll do my best to beat his."

"Please don't," Dean begged.  "I don't think I can handle stranger than winning a live-action game and earning a temple where they think you're a sex god.  Xander nearly drove us nuts when that stuff started to happen."

Sam looked over at him.  "It did?  I thought it was kind of fun watching Xander finally relax.  Even if he did end up cursed with that super special luck and he won that realm."

"Realm?" Shea's mother demanded, turning to look at him.

"There's this demon neutral place  in Las Vegas that holds a live-action LARP game basically.  You go into it, you do the D&D thing with swords and challenges, if you die you come back bruised but not dead in real life.  Xander was the first one to win that one.  He won a box of spewing money that somehow gave him phenomenal luck.  The realm they were playing on now considers him a sex god and has a temple to his magnificence.  The casino lets you place all sorts of bets on the people playing.  We made a good bit of money betting on Xander bedding girls that then tried to kill him."  She gaped.  "He's like that.  He only dates evil girls.  It was great fun for him.  He outdrank a dwarf to win their respect.  He petted a dragon that was there for a challenge.  He traipsed around for a good while in their time, about a day and a half in ours, and had a ton of fun doing it."  She shuddered.  "He needed to relax.  The usual Vegas sights weren't doing it for him."

"Then we left Vegas to hit the theme parks near LA," Dean told her.  "He had never been even though he used to live near there."

Ellen moaned.  "Is he normal?"

"Perfectly normal," Faith said with a grin.  "He worked with Buffy.  He's the big brother to all the slayers and our support network.  Any of us girls that need things can go to him about anything.  He gave us sex talks, got us on the pill, took us shopping.  Got us a big sister in Abby when she signed on.  He's a great guy but yeah, he finds the strangest trouble to get into.   Back in Sunnydale they had a problem when a mummy got reawakened.  She looked fully human from what B told me.  Couldn't tell.  She had to kill to keep her human look.  Xander ended up in lust with her, nearer to boyfriend mode.  Buffy had to try to stop her.  Xander stepped between the two to make Ampata eat him instead of Buffy.  She couldn't and went back to being a mummy semi-reluctantly."  Ellen gaped.  Faith smirked and nodded.  "X finds some *strange* trouble.  But we enjoy the hell outta the boy for it."

"He does do that," Dean agreed dryly.  John nodded.  "He never seems to sleep either."

"Well, no, but he is right.  Everyone looks hot with artillery," Sam said with a grin.

"Not everyone," John said, giving his younger son a dirty look.

"I do so."

"You probably do," Faith agreed.

"It makes up for being a giant brain and less action oriented," Dean taunted with a smirk.

"Shut up, Dean.  More of the slayers watch me than you."

"That's because I keep them busy during their Dean Staring Time."

"I think it's nice he got the girls to learn how to research," John said.

Shea snickered.  "How?"

"Their Sammy Staring Time in Research class," Faith said.  "They used to walk in and stare at him so he handed them a book on whatever he was working on in the library.  It turned into a research class.  That's why you guys get papers now and then."

"I don't know why they'd stare at you two.  You're cute but some of the agents are hotter."

"Yeah but they don't see them sweaty with a sword too often," Faith said.

"Good point."  She shrugged.  "Whatever.  Give me a man like Eric to stare at any day."  She sighed.

"Is he single?" her mother asked.

"Yes, but his mother wants him to find a nice catholic girl to marry and have babies with so I'll just stare in awe at his Cuban-Russian tight butt and legs."  Her mother rolled her eyes. "I can appreciate dark and handsome.  Speed's cute too."

"Uh-huh.  Maybe I should visit you on base?"

"Go right ahead," John assured her.  "Some of the others that we've found parents on have.  There's a good motel in town to stay in.  For those in school we let them talk to the principal and their teachers if they want.  They can tour the base, look over the girls' rooms, all that."

"I may take you up on that.  I don't like the sound of that one trainer."

"Xander's a sweet guy who's been doing it for a while," Dean told her.  "He's not going to hurt the girls."  She pointed at her daughter's bruises.  "She's going to be in New York handling most everything on her own and she hasn't had much time in the field.  The others who are moving to senior status over the new houses are getting the same treatment but they've been in the field during most of the apocalypses.  Cho and Rona have both handled the LA team and the Cleveland office plus they were both in Sunnydale during that one.  They've been in every single major apocalypse.  She's the least trained that's going to a major hot spot.  Yeah, she's got to learn all she can before she's handling it by herself."

"The other slayers there are both working hard at jobs that come with a lot of overtime," Faith added.  "One's a detective."  Shea's mother moaned. "She'll be handling a lot of the problems on her own.  She's got to live up to at least *my* standards as a slayer.  You can drop me or Buffy in any situation and we'll find a way out of it most likely.  Shea's barely been in the field.  Hunting and slaying are kinda different.  Most of the time hunting is a lot less physical.  Slaying vamps isn't done with a shotgun," she said at the heated look Jo gave her.  "I don't use guns most of the time.  Xander does now and then, his service piece.  He's made sure we can all use every single weapon we have.  John too.  Dean too.  There's things that'll take lead to kill and there's more that'll take wood or silver to kill."

Dean patted her hand.  "She's right.  Half the vampires around are stakeable.  A good quarter aren't and have to have their head cut off.  We ran into one that takes dead man's blood.  You have to get up close and personal for those things.  Not like digging up a grave to salt and burn but like hands-on, beating them back fighting.  That's why Xander does insane shit when it's called for.  Because it saves lives.  Even if we yell at him for being cowboy as the cops call it."

John nodded.  "Xander's not dangerous, Liv.  Xander's very unique.  He's been hunting for years.  They didn't have the option of shotguns.  They used crossbows, stakes, and swords."  She shuddered.  So did Shea.  "The slayers use things like that all the time.  We've found areas we can add weapons into."

Faith nodded.  "None of us were trained to use more than stakes and swords, maybe crossbows in some cases.  X was trained the same way since he jumped in to help Buffy.  He's helped find a few new ways of doing things and keeping us safe.  There's a lot of demons who respect X a lot more than they do us girls."

Shea nodded.  "Morgan and Connor told me that there's demons in LA who're scared of Xander when he shows up on a case.  They know he only deals with the worst things."

Dean nodded.  "Yeah.  Starting with an ascension that was going on in Seattle as his first out-of-town case.  He had to hit the underground to find a rocket launcher."  Ellen shuddered.  "It saved his team's life and a lot of others.  Even if he did come back with broken ribs and a concussion."

"Xander has this 'do what's necessary' setting," Faith told her.  "You won't find a more loyal guy.  You won't find a better guy to have at your back in a crisis.  But *damn* does the boy do things that make you gape and then yell when he feels he has to."  Dean and John both laughed at that.  Sam only snickered.  "Sammy, you got the video from the last thing on the infernal machine?"

"Yeah, I do."  He restarted his laptop to find that file.  "And a few other of his training tapes for the new agents."  He let Ellen and Shea's mother see.  Both women looked horrified but hey, it worked.

"It worked," Dean said, echoing Sam's thoughts.

Faith nodded.  "Yeah, he's got freakish luck that way.  Still gets injured all too much.  We hate it.  Some day the slayers are going to tie him down so he can't do stupid shit to save us all."

"Probably soon since we're not there to stop it," Sam sighed.  "That's going to suck."

"X can handle himself," Faith reminded him.  "He's running PT with Gibbs too."

"Gibbs is in charge of defense class until we get back," Dean said with a wicked smirk.  "The girls probably won't appreciate the boot camp approach but oh well!"  Faith cackled at that.  "Maybe the infuriated redhead will calm him down."

"Maybe.  When did you catch him pissed last time?"

"Someone splashed mud on his suit.  He got that 'underwear's too tight' look," Sam told her.  She laughed.  "Speed was teasing him about the last time his crime scene hummer got mud on it.  He nearly pouted that night."

"I think someone got him a new one," Dean told him.  "More classy this time."  He shook his head.  "I never saw that one.  Or heard about it."

Sam leaned over to look.  "He was training Ryan in how to deal with those sort of cases."

"The boy's insane," Ellen said.

"B did it to him," Faith said dryly.  "Sunnydale did it to all of us, but she did it worse to him."

"You did hear that there's a betting pool on a few things, like the next time he gets injured?" Sam asked.

"No, I didn't.  Who's running it?"

"Morgan."

Faith found her phone and called.  "Morgan, Faith.  What sort of stunts are we betting on for X?"  She listened.  "Put me down for five on tonight... oh, not counting tonight?  Hmm.  No, his next case will probably be gentle, that seems to be how it goes.  Put me down for five for the second and five for the third case.  Put me down for ten that the girls treat him like he's stupid and helpless soon too.  Hmm, six days, Dean?"

"Sunday.  Put me down for ten too, Morgan."

"Hear that?"  She smiled.  "She's got you.  We need to ship the money to her."

"I can Western Union it," Dean promised.

"He can ship it over the lines.  Thanks, Morgan.  Any other bets going on?"  She smirked.  "So far they've all congratulated John that he's going to be a grandfather.  They all like Little B, think she's cute, nice, and polite.  No, no problems yet but there's a scheduled ascension out this way in a few days.  Little B wants to fire off the artillery.  No, we're hitting the east coast soon.  With a stop at an amusement park because I wanna go and it's part vacation for me.  Sure, thanks.  Let me know if new tables come open."  She hung up.  "They were betting on which one of us would get into trouble first and why."  Dean shrugged at that.  "Morgan said Sammy's the odds favorite this time."

"Nah, Dad'll have that beat I'm sure."  Faith smirked when John smacked his son on the head.  "You learned that from Gibbs."

"It seems to work.  It kept DiNozzo from being a pain in his ass for years."

"Didn't keep him from being the lothario of DC," Sam said dryly.

"I don't think anything can keep him and Delko off the women," John agreed.  "I never saw that one.  Rewind it, Ellen?"  She did that and they watched the tape over.  "What is he doing?"

Dean looked then grinned.  "Showing off.  And notice he's still nearly got the bulls eye?"

"I did but we don't allow that on the range."  He shook his head as he went to get a refill from Jo at the bar.  "I'm so glad I didn't have to train Xander to hunt."  Ellen let out a loud gasp.  "Which one is that?"

Dean looked then back at him.  "No idea."  John came back to look at it with them.  Then he called.  Dean took the phone from him.  "Dawn, you uploaded a video of Xander vamping the demons on a dance floor then slaying?  When and where?"  He listened.  "That one, yeah."  He nodded once.  "Thanks, Dawn.  No, we're being good.  I promise.  Sure, I'll bring you back some t-shirts to sleep in."  He hung up.  "That was right after they got Buffy back and right before the First Evil shit started," Dean told him.  Faith moaned.  "Buffy was off hunting the vamps on the other side of the floor.  Xander ended up attracting succuba there for a bit."

John gulped the beer and went back to get another one.  Jo handed him a new bottle. "Thanks, Jo.  Don't date Xander, okay?"

"I thought he only dated bad girls."

"Hunters would probably qualify," he sighed, going back to his seat.  Ellen swatted him.  "They probably would."

"Uh-huh.  I'd never let my daughter date a hunter.  We end up dying too soon."  She went to get her own headache clearing drink.  That boy was so *wrong*!

Shea's mother looked at Dean.  "He's training her to do what?"

"This week they've been in this padded room full of weapons.  The idea is to pick up whatever's at hand and use it."  She slumped, nodding a bit.  "She's standing.  She's not doing too badly.  It's only been a week, Liv."  She sighed, going back to talking to her daughter.  She wanted her to be safer.  Hurrying her training might help that.  She'd have to show up and check things out too.  That boy sounded strange and might go after her poor little baby.

Shea looked at her.  "I'm not bad enough for Xander, Mom.  His last girlfriend was formerly over Scorned Women."  Her mother moaned.  Ellen gave her an alarmed look.  "Anyanka lost her power center when she granted a wish for Xander's former girlfriend.  It got broken when the wish universe was popped.  There, Xander was a vampire."  Her mother slumped.  "He and Anya nearly ended up marrying a few years later.  I'm not that bad, naughty, or evil."

"If you are, we're fixing you," Faith said.  They shared a look.  "You approach my old level of badness and you're so getting it."

"I'll take it if I do."  She looked at her mother.  "Beyond that, all the slayers want Xander to be gay and take a nice DCIS agent up as a boyfriend.  That way we'd have a stable 'mom' to his dad and they already know how he's prone to doing what's necessary in extreme situations."  She looked back.  "Did anyone download film from Georgia?"

"Yeah," Sam said.  "I know where that is."  He found it in his bookmarks but it was deleted.  He went searching on the same site and found it again.  "Here you go, Shea."

She got the laptop to show her mother.  "See, there I am.  My first apocalypse, Mom, and it's when one of the highest evils in the world comes buying souls.  We lost the first slayers since the mass calling that day," she said quietly.  She looked at her mother.  "I'm damn lucky."

"Luck has nothing to do with it," Dean assured her.  "Most of that was training.  The ones who fell and were well trained fell that way to protect the girls that weren't as trained."

"One fell right beside me."

"Yup.  She dove in front of you," John said, staring her down.

Shea nodded at that.  She went back to watching it.  "That's Xander there," she said with a point.

"Who're the others that look like the boy?" her mother asked.

"Oh, Calleigh made a wish beforehand for multiple demon fighting Xander's."  John and Sam both shuddered.  "They were pretty nice."

"Some were.  A few were just a bit strange," Faith said dryly.  "The happy, bouncy one was worse than some of the younger girls in the mall."

"They said it was his hormones."

"Obviously."  Shea laughed.  "Liked the hair though.  Think we can get our Xander to grow his out?"

"No," Dean and Sam said together, Sam shaking his head.

"Pity.  His future boyfriend might like him having hair."

"Good handhold," John muttered.  Then he drank another drink.

"Yeah but Danny might not like it," Sam told him.  "It could get in the way when he's doing macho things that make us all yell at him."

"They make hairbands," Shea said dryly.  She handed the laptop back.  "That's who's been tormenting me for the last week by training me to handle my job, Mom."

"He's a strong boy," she said, looking at her girl.  "You sure you don't want to come home?  You can hunt with us."

"No, Mom.  I'm going to New York.  We'd have the same stupid fights we had before."

"True."  She gave her daughter a hug.  She was acting much more grown up.  She knew John wouldn't put up with that attitude and cure it where she couldn't.  "Let's hit the motel for the night.  You can see them tomorrow.  Before they take off."

"Yes, Mom," she agreed. "I could use a soak.  One of the vamps' shoes tried to do the butt-sex thing as Dawn calls it."  Her mother blushed but Faith laughed at that.  "Night all.  If I don't see you, be safe until you're back on base."  She walked off with her parents chatting about her training.  Her bike was now outside so she rode it off to the nearest motel.

Brenda wandered in mostly awake again, sitting next to John with a mumble of apology.  He just gave her a hug.

Ellen shook her head.  "That boy's insane taking on Shea."

Dean looked back.  "I had to do a lot of slayer training with her," he mouthed.  She grimaced.  "I'm the main trainer for the slayers.  Dad and Brenda, me, then Faith and Brenda.  Then they're passed and only have to keep in shape and ready for anything.  Xander teaches swords and crossbows.  Dad adds in other weapons with Gibbs.  It works well for them."

"What's the plan for when the older ones are all trained and the younger potentials aren't old enough yet?"

"Don't know yet," Dean said.  "We'll figure that out when we come to it.  It's helped my skills a lot."

Faith nodded.  "It has.  He's a lot faster now.  Like his car."

He smirked.  "I can take that comparison."  John gave him an odd look.  "Night all."  He got up and walked Faith out since she was smirking evilly at him.  He knew what that meant.  It meant they'd get to keep up the rest of the motel playing.

John shook his head.  "He's sorry he's giddy with Faith," he said dryly, cracking the other hunters up.

Sam looked over.  "I share an apartment on base with him.  We live next to Xander.  They're still not as loud as Xander and Anya were."  He went back to his web surfing.  John swatted him.  "They're not."

"They didn't need to know that, Sammy."

Sam looked at him.  "They broke up.  It's cool."

"He's a stronger guy than I am," one told him.  "That's a scary woman to date."

John nodded.  "Even when she was human for a while she was scary from what we heard."  That got a nod.  "Xander's a good guy.  He's got an expedience switch but he's a good hunter and a good guy to have at your back.  All that's what makes him so great."  He looked at Brenda, who was starting to dose again.  "Let's get you back to the motel too, young lady."

"Yes, sir.  Night all."  She waved, walking out to the truck while yawning.

Sam picked up his laptop.  "Night all.  We'll be here for a few days probably.  That way we're not that far away from the upcoming possible problem."  He waved as he walked out.

Ellen poured herself another drink.  "And they save the world every year," she said, holding up her drink in a toast.  The others did the same then took a drink.

Sam leaned in.  "The Slayers Council is looking for hunters who might want to be watchers."  He left again with a grin.  He got to miss the mass shudder that thought produced.

***

Brenda pouted at the field they heard it was going to be at.  "C'mon already," she complained.  "It's hot out here."  John gave her an odd look.  "It is."

"It may not happen."

Sam came jogging over.  "Shit!"  He grabbed the truck's keys and ran to get it, coming back with the portal.  He switched out what they had and handed her something bigger.  "She did the ninety year version!" he said at the looks he was getting.  He pointed.  "There.  That's got automatic targeting."

Brenda squatted to open the case, then pulled out the unit, looking in the finder.  "Hey, it does."  She smiled and turned it on the demon.  She pressed the fire button but nothing happened.  "Is there a safety?"

John looked then hit the right switch.  She tried again.  Nothing.

Sam called Xander.  "We have the X out.  How do you fire it?"  He leaned over to flip something.  "Thanks, Xander.  Yeah, the biggest version."  He hung up.  She fired on the demon, making its guts splash the nearby houses and the cops trying to steer it away from people.  "That's a huge mess," he said.

Brenda nodded.  "We won't even have to shovel like we did in Miami," she said happily.  "Abby won't need another sample."

John looked at her.  "That's a good point.  Clean up, kids."  They put the empty case back into the portal then shut the bag the portal was in so they could retreat to the truck.

"It's a lot more fun hunting with artillery than it is with shotguns," Sam said.

John scowled at him.  "Most things only need a shotgun, son.  Anything bigger is overkill, more expensive, and more highly controlled."

"I know.  Still more fun."

Brenda stared at him.  "Are you possessed?  Because if the possession thing is a Winchester road trip thing, I don't like it."

"No, that was just dad," he said with a grin.

"Good."  They put the bag back into the locking, hidden compartment and closed it back up.  "Now what?"

"The cops will be asking questions.  We should leave," John said.

"We have a legitimate reason," Sam reminded him.  "We don't have to run for the hills when we handle things now."

"Good point.  I might not get used to that part."  They drove over to the area.  He stopped beside the cruiser that was directing traffic, pulling out his ID.  "We heard it was going to be to the east.  That's why the slayer wasn't on site."

The cop stared.  "Excuse me?"

"Hi, I'm Brenda, one of the slayers."

"Oh, shit.  Um, sorry, pardon the french, sir, ma'am.  My boss wanted a more comprehensive report.  Can you give one?"

"Sure, kid," John agreed.  He parked where pointed to and walked Brenda that way while Sam pulled up reports from prior ascensions.  "Corporal, Slayer's Council," he said, showing his ID.

"No wonder it blew up!" he said loudly.

Brenda laughed.  "It's the only way to defeat one of them.   We heard it was going to be back that way so we were there."

The officers looked at her.  "Did Agent Harris come with you, miss?"

"No.  This is John Winchester, he's Slayer's Council personnel.  One of the trainers and my adopted father."

"That's good then.  How did this happen?"

"Hold on, I'm burning down a CD of prior reports and methodology," Sam told him.  He put the laptop on the nearest hood and finished doing that, handing it over.  "The how and why of ascensions."

"Ascension?" the corporal asked.

"A human who turned into a demon so he could turn into a pure demon," Brenda told him, pointing at the mess.  "Pure demons all look like that I guess.  From what we know.  There's a few ways but she decided to go with the biggest one that takes almost a century of work to do."

Sam nodded.  "Olikvan.  That's the name of the demon she transformed into.  Generally it's a lot of power raising and other sorts of rites.  I know we had her on a list to watch."

"Why not arrest her?" the corporal demanded.

"For what?" John asked.  "There's no law against wanting to turn into a demon, even a big demon, and there's no law against making demonic deals.  Too many in congress have so it'll never be a law.  Since we're on vacation we brought the appropriate cures with us from the base.  Brenda fired it off from the field we were in."  He pointed that way.  "We heard she'd be out there."

The corporal just nodded slowly at that.  "You guys keep artillery on base?"

"In the armory for apocalypses," Brenda said.  "Things like the invasions recently or what happened in Georgia.  That way we don't have to bug ATF or have to find something on the black market at the last minute that might not work."

Sam tested her forehead.  "Get a drink, Brenda.  You're a bit warm."  She gave him a shove, scowling at him.  He smiled.  "You are and you're babbling."

"I'm a good girl.  Usually I don't have to talk to officers."  She pouted a bit.  "I'm allowed to be nervous.  The only officers I know are the hotty ones Tony and Xander hired for DCIS."

The corporal laughed at that.  "That's good to know, ma'am."

"Not that you guys aren't cute."

"We've seen a few of your agents," he assured her.  "Some of them are hollywood pretty."  She smiled and nodded.  "Should we be careful of anything in her house?"

"Not unless she's got some gavrok spiders left.  She had to eat some about a hundred days ago to become immortal for the change to not kill her.  They're poisonous," Sam told him.

The officers all shuddered.  "We can look it over, make sure there's not something else going on there," John told them.

"Thanks," one said.  "I can take them that way, sir."

"Go for it.  Tell the state boys they'll need a backhoe."

"Abby wanted parts from the ones in Miami so we shoveled," Brenda told him.  "John, do you think they can burn it?"

"Probably.  I know the ones Abby tested did burn and turn to ash."  That got some smiles.  "I'd get the fire department out here to set it though.  That way it doesn't keep going in the fields."

"Oooh, and check for stomach contents because they do eat people and animals," Brenda said.  "That way you don't have to wonder and you can identify someone that she's eaten."

"We'll do that, miss.  Thank you for your help."

"Not a problem," she said, smiling happily.  "I'm glad it was my turn to fire off on one."

"How many have there been?" the corporal asked, looking a bit tired all of a sudden.

"Seven in the last ten years.  A higher demon was prompting some to attempt it so he could have some cover for his activities.  He was stopped last year."  That got a relieved look.   "As far as we know, there's no more coming around here anytime soon.  There's one next year in Argentina and there's one in LA next year during the same eclipse."  That got a nod.  "If you catch one that's going up without warning, just hit it with something highly explosive.  Basically blow the head off," Sam instructed.  "The first the Slayers Council has good records of they lured it into a school and blew it up when one came up during graduation."

The corporal gave him an odd look.  "A few years back there was a gas explosion during one."

"No, that was one of these that the mayor of that town was doing," Sam promised with a grin.  "Agent Harris led the defensive and stalling action so they could get the spectators out while the Slayer Buffy led the demon into the school so it could be blown up."

"Damn, you all are insane," he said.  John cracked up.  "No offense or anything but if that's not something to get drunk over, you've seen too many bad things."

Brenda nodded.  "All in the wacky life of a slayer," she quipped.  She got cuffed on the head by John.  "Yes, sir."

"Good girl."  He looked at them. "Need us for more than going through her place?"

"No, sir.  Go ahead and do that for us please."  They nodded, going back to the truck with the volunteer officer following.  The corporal looked at the mess then up and said a silent prayer.  He looked at the mess again.  "Beers and shots are on the department, boys.  We can justify it this time.  Let the state troopers clean it up or the EPA.  And tell the fire department to be on standby so they can come burn the sucker.  Before it attracts buzzards."  They nodded.  One called dispatch to relay those orders.  The rest of them called in the guys on the night shift and went to have a few drinks.  The EPA and state troopers made sure there weren't any corpses in the remains and then the fire department torched it for them that night.  It was a pretty fire they could see from town.  The slayer and her people were long gone by then but they seemed a bit off so maybe they were off roasting marshmallows over it.  Who knew with those sort.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Training You, Training Me.

Xander looked at the pouting girls, frowning greatly.  "I don't care that they are gone, you still have to do daily PT.  Just like you do on every other holiday."

"But nothing happens until spring," one whined.

He glared at her.  "Do you think that you don't have to hunt during the other times of the year?  The really bad stuff happens in spring, not everything.  Every day, a new vampire rises.  Every day, some evil thing is working on his plans for world domination during the spring.  Those are slayer jobs, ladies.  You have to be ready even if you were on a beach in a bikini."  That got a few giggles.  "Not that any of you are old enough to go out like that on your own."  They pouted again.  He sighed.  "How do you girls turn an hour's worth of PT into three?"

"It's our vacation," another one complained.  "I'm already in good shape."

"Slayers that get out of shape tend to die sooner," he told her.  "And you can get out of shape in only a few days with the way you suck down sweets."  She glared.  "Otherwise you wouldn't be complaining about your shirts being too tight again."  She huffed off.  "Get back in line," he snapped.  She glared.  "Now."  She slunk back.  "I do not care if you think John wouldn't be making you do daily PT.  You're wrong, because he would be.  I can call and make sure if you want."

"We can," they said.  They stomped off together to call him in the armory.

Xander looked up at the sky.  "Why am I putting myself through this?" he muttered.  "I should just spank and get it done with."  He heard a laugh and looked at Wesley.  "I don't wanna do PT," he whined in a near imitation of one of the younger set.  "It's summer vacation."

Wesley nodded.  "They are feeling a bit spoiled."

"Can't I spank, Wes?  Please?"

"No, Xander.  Corporal punishment is not the answer in this situation."  He gave him a pat on the arm as he walked past him.  "Your break is nearly up, ladies.  Get back and do your daily training so you can get on with your chores.  The longer you wait and huff about it, the less free time you have afterward to do things that you want to do."

"It's our vacation," a third complained.

He stared at her.  "You only get a vacation if you're assigned to a patrol and even they have to do daily PT.  Or should if they're not.  Not doing it could get you killed when it is your turn.  What happens if some missed minion of that nest Xander, Shea, and Gwen took out gathers or makes more vampires so they can attack us?"  They pouted but went back to talking to Sam.  They couldn't get Dean, Faith, or John and they didn't want to interrupt Brenda, who would back Xander up.  He came in and said hello then called John's phone, getting him.  "John, do tell the massed girls that daily PT is still to be done.  Xander said one hour a day, then their chores and if they have anything assigned from Sam or Thomas, then their free time, correct?"

"Sounds right to me," he agreed, sounding gruff.  "Why is this a problem?"

"I'm going to paddle each and every pouty, whining one," Xander said from the doorway.  "Three hours and we're halfway through with daily PT.  If they had gotten it done they'd probably be in free time by now."  They all pouted. "You still have your daily chores and any assigned slayer homework before free time.  Because I'm not putting up with the pouting.   If I have to break you of it by beating your ass in training, so be it."

"You can't beat us," one complained.

"Maybe not all at once but you're still in Dean's class."  He stared her down.  "Now, back to the yard, and get back to it.  All of you, ladies."  They huffed off.  He walked in further.  "Thank you, John."

"I've had the urge to spank too, Xander.  Assign them more for doing it.  Or make them see why it's necessary."

"They're too young to hit any of the troubled areas.  Even if it is a downtime."

"Cleveland's pretty uncluttered at the moment.  It might be good for the younger girls to understand how patrols go," Wesley offered.  "We could send them there for a few nights in a row, let them get the feel for what patrol really is."

"Big problem with that.  Caridad had a few girls the other night who decided patrol meant a date at the ice cream shop in the nearby mall."

Wesley moaned.  "Did she spank?"

"Buffy yelled.  Told them how to take the night off."  That got a smirk and a laugh from John.  "I'd send them to LA but Angel would kill me."

"Perhaps that's not such a bad idea," Wesley decided.  "Thank you for your help, John.  How is the trip going?"

"Fairly well.  We're doing pretty good hunting things.  Dean and Faith are headed for Boston."

Xander gave the phone an odd look.  "She's going back?"

"Yup.  Said she wanted to move on a bit more.  They're going to handle something for Father Philip."

"That's cool.  Thanks, John."  They hung up and Wesley called LA.  "Angel's going to eat us both and if he doesn't, Gunn will, Wes."

"He will not."  He smiled and put it on speaker.  "Connor, charming to hear from you."

"A bad thing coming?"

"Whiny, spoiled things that need to see how patrol goes," Wesley corrected with a smile.  "The next group needs to understand the mechanics of patrol before it's their turn to be so active."

"Do you really hate us, Wesley?  You used to like us like family but I think you really hate us.  Maybe really, really hate us."

"I do not, Connor.  I wouldn't dream of leaving them there or anything.  Simply sending out some of the younger crew to see how patrol goes when it does go."

"Can't they go to Cleveland?"

"They had a date night during patrol the other day.  They need their own spanking," Xander said.  He walked back outside.  He coughed loudly.  "Could've sworn we had a half-hour, ladies."  None reappeared.  "That means you get double tomorrow," he yelled.  "And more homework."  Still no one reappeared.  "And no free days off base for two weeks!"  Most of them slunk back.  "Thank you.  Get back to it."  They sighed but did.  He took note of the names that weren't there and had them sent to the gate so if they tried to leave they were stopped.  Grounded to base meant no going to the mall, the movies, or out on dates.

"Is it being in control that makes people mean?" Stera asked.  "First Giles and now you."

Xander glared at her.  "Unlike Giles, I'm doing this so you girls survive longer.  Which you won't do if you can't fight and don't have the stamina to outlast your opponent.  The only way you build that is over time and with continued practice."

"Then why don't you do daily PT?" Anna asked with a pout.

"I do.  I do it with the agents while training them.  Someone has to run them through sword work and all that stuff.  Not to mention I'm giving Shea and the other seniors a lot of personal attention right now, and I do mine at night before bed to work off dinner."  They all sighed.  "Even with doing all that training with the new senior girls I'm still doing mine.  The only thing I don't do that you girls do is jog.  I get plenty running after cases."

"But...." Anna started.

Wesley coughed as he came out.  "Yes, you girls do need to know how to run and to do it daily.  Much hunting requires running after the demons to kill them."  He looked at Xander.  "Angel is not pleased but he agreed we could send them for a few days here and there."

"Good!"  He grinned.  "Now what's this shit about Dawn going to Cambridge?"

"It is where we have always trained the watchers, Xander."

"Yeah, but back then the Council was over there too, Wes.  Now there's some updates to that program that could help.  Like forensics?  Profiling maybe?"

"I hadn't thought about that.  I will get into that with Rupert later.  For now, I know she's taking a year locally so she can be on hand for her further physical training."  Xander nodded; he had flat out refused to let a seventeen-year-old Dawn Summers loose in England on her own.  "That's fine then.  We'll do what we can, Xander."  He smirked at the girls.  "Those who are in Faith's class and some of the ones in the later portions of Dean's training class are going to be going on harmless, routine patrols with Connor and the slayers in Los Angeles.  I will expect you girls to have manners."  They all groaned.  "That way you get used to the rhythms and methodology of patrolling."

"Will this qualify us for patrol status?" one asked.

"No.  This'll tell us if any of you have problems like Amber does, where she doesn't handle patrol stress very well," Xander said.  "Not every girl can handle the stress of combat or handle a patrol position.  If you have that problem, it'll make it easier on us to either help you with that issue or to move you on to train in other areas so you can use your skills to a better purpose.  Some of you may be going for later Watcher training."  That got a few stunned looks.  "Someone's got to help the girls that'll be called when they're older.  Not like we'll live forever, guys."  That got a few nods of understanding from the older girls.  "How many did you plan for, Wes?"

"Five at a time with two seniors in case there's a problem.  This is also to see if any of you make illogical jumps in reasoning like 'kill all the demons' instead of 'protecting those who need it' or other logic jumps that could prove fatal for you or problematic for the slayers in general."  That got a few more nods this time.  "We'll be selecting who will go.  You'll be going on an expected quiet night.  Perhaps a few vampires but nothing too bad.  You'll be expected to keep up, listen to the senior staff there, and to help with whatever is going on so you can learn how these things go.  Then we'll present reports on what happened to Dean when he gets back.  That way he can move those who're ready onto a proving case and those who need more work onto that."  Anna raised her hand.  "You have years yet."

"I know.  Do we really have chores?" she asked.

"You wanted pets," Xander said dryly.  "You also have a paper due for Sam early next month.  I'd start working on that now."  She sighed but nodded.  "Good girl, Anna.  The rest of you, finish up.  Then go do chores.  Lunch is after chores."  They groaned but finished up as quickly as they could so they could get on with their chores.  Then lunch followed by free time.   "Remember, if you get down to it, PT only takes an hour a day," he called after them.  "Therefore more free time later if you don't whine at me."  He looked at Wesley, shrugging a bit.  "Those who didn't show back up are grounded."

"I agree.  Training is necessary for every slayer.  They can be grounded for the weekend."

"Two weeks.  They were being spoiled brats."

"Fine.  That's a bit much but reasonable I suppose.  Better than spanking."

"It may get us pouted at but I can offer to spank instead," he said, walking off.  He found the girls training with Gibbs.  "Tomorrow, join them for PT, all of you please.  I got whined to impatience today."

Gibbs snorted.  "Whining?"

"Mass whining and a bunch of grounded girls."  That got a nod.  "I nearly paddled the whole damn younger group."  He looked at his new senior girls.  "How have we done today?"

"Better.  Two are ready to go right now."

"They go next week."  They beamed.  "Shea?"

"She's come far.  She's still got some work to go based on where the other girls are but she's getting there, Xander.  Are you going to be adding more girls to New York?"

"Depends on what they need.  She'll be letting us know that once she gets up there.  Also, Chicago's cops have asked that one gets put in their city as well."

"There's one who's naturally from Cleveland, the one bomb squad girl.  She seems to like Chicago," Gwen offered.  "She's been there for both issues.  She's a bit young but I can see her going to college that way."

Xander considered it.  "I'll talk with her in a bit."  They smiled.  "She's grounded for the next two weeks too but I'll talk with her when she finds me to whine about that.  Spar, ladies.  And tell the ones going to LA for some patrol training what it's like."  They smirked evilly and got back to work with Shea.  She needed the most work.

***

Xander walked a slayer into the meeting area.  "Guys, this is Guinevere.  She's going to be going to the University of Chicago starting next year.  She is a slayer, Cleveland trained."  They all smiled at her.  "She was at the riots but missed the situation with the invasion due to being knocked out in Georgia.  We'll need to figure out where to set her up a residence that may or may not house a few other girls if she needs more than her there.  Usually, from what we can tell, your city's pretty well settled in and peaceful.  The same way New York is."

"Most of the time," Horatio agreed, looking over the reports.  "Some simpler patrols for risings and problems would be for the best.  They can work with her when something too big happens in the city and is reported.  Or if we're called to the city."  The detectives looked at him.  "That's how New York has it planned as well.   They have one of the older slayers in their police force, three or four officers now in their city's demon office, plus a slayer going by thanksgiving."

"Halloween.  In case there's problems for that again this year.  It usually skips a year but why wait."  He pulled out a chair to sit her down.  "She's from .....  If I remember right you're from the southern part of France?"

"Oui.  I am."  She smiled at them.  "I asked to go to Chicago because I wanted to go to school there.  I like the art of architecture and there's an excellent school there for that subject."  They all smiled and nodded.  "I can live in the dorms?" she asked Xander.

"If you only need you up there, yup.  We can try that.  If it turns out we need more girls in Chicago, we'll set you up somewhere near the campus.  Oh, all the girls do know how to drive, even if this one is a bit scary and likes to go fast."  He patted her on the head.

"Can she be moved up sooner?  In case we need to have her in the spring?" Ray Vecchio asked.

Xander shrugged, looking at her.  "Are you waiting due to school or just waiting?"

"School.  I have to finish my high school requirements first.  I may be able to show up for anything in the spring, though I would like to make it to my prom.  The girls who went this year said it was a very good night."

"It was from what I heard," Xander agreed, patting her again.  "We can look that over and work it out for you, guys.  We can send someone up to cover if she can't make it.  We have a whole group who're going to be turning patrol-age this year."  They smirked.  "I know.  A few more years and we're down to the really young set."  He smirked at Ray Kowalski.  "If and when she does show up, she'll need a parent-type person to tell her what bad boys look like.  Someone to ease the transition of me, who does background checks on boyfriends, to being able to do it on her own."

"Shouldn't be a problem," he agreed with a grin.  It was a big responsibility.

"I am not like some of the girls from the Cleveland house.  I was not one of the ones who was sharing the diseased wenches from the college."

"Good," Xander said dryly.  He grinned down at her.  "Talk to them, get to know them.  They can introduce you around and we'll start sending you up for some weekends, getting you used to your patrol area.  That way you can tour your college."  He grinned at the guys.  "I'm going to go beat the crap out of the other senior girls.  Have a good afternoon, guys."

Horatio coughed.  "Problems?"

"Whining all morning long," he said dryly.  "A quarter are now grounded for two weeks.  Tell the ladies for me?  I know it'll interrupt their shopping trips."  He walked off, going back down to the practice area.  No one was in there.  He called Gibbs' cellphone.  "Are they hiding from me too?"  He listened.  "Sure, we can do that.  Remind them how to do it in snow?  And hey, this means I can go check my email, right?"  He beamed.  "Thanks, Jethro."  He hung up and nearly danced back up to his desk, settling in to go over his email, his inbox, and make sure nothing had escaped his notice.

Stella looked over.  "What happened this morning?"

"It's vacation, why do I have to do daily PT?" he whined in mimic.  She groaned.  "Half of them are grounded for two weeks thanks to their issues this morning.  The rest now have a real understanding of why I nearly spanked every last one of the younger set."  He looked over at her.  "The list of grounded ones is kept at the gate."

"I'll check it," she promised.  "Do they really need it?"

"Yup.  We're due for another base assault sometime soon.  It's been nearly a year since we've had one."  He beamed.  "I'll send up an alarm when we do."  She moaned, shaking her head.  "By the way, please talk with Mary and Anna about bra things sometime soon?  Gibbs was staring at them earlier.  They're just starting to sprout and bounce.  I don't want them to tear a muscle."

"Would the old Council appreciate that?" Mac asked.

"They have free time after an hour of daily PT and their chores," Xander shot back with a glower.  "I'm not abusing them like the old Council did.  This is to keep them in shape and out of trouble if something happens when they're out shopping.  Because it has and does now and then.  Not to mention the fact that they can fall out of training and even if it isn't an apocalypse we might need them for cases."  Mac nodded at that, looking away.  "I'm not that sort of hardass, Taylor.  I do have their best interests in mind.  I don't want to see what'd happen if they broke training for real.  Half of them are going to qualify for patrol status in the next year."

"Ease off," Stella mouthed.  "You're doing a good job," she said out loud.  He gave her a look and got back to his inbox's contents.  She glared at Mac, who shrugged slightly.  "Do we have any more who might need the puberty talks?"

"Not that I know of.  I think they all got it."  He grinned at her.  "You can go back and reinforce any teaching we've already done because I do not want to give the 'crabs are bad' lectures ever again."

She nodded.  "I think we can do that too."  She grinned.  "How many times have you had to give it?"

"Twice.  To the same group of girls."  She shuddered.  "They learned after I lost my temper and a few are now celibate."  He grinned sweetly.  "Because they were sharing too."

"Ewww."

"Very.  Fortunately the Cleveland girls now know better."  She laughed.  "They do.  I yelled, Giles yelled, John yelled.  Dean and Sam lectured on sex.  So yeah, they learned.  I don't want to have to give it to the younger set.  Even if Mary does need someone like House to be hers."

Stella shook her head quickly.  "That would be one snarky, spitting relationship."

"Yeah but she likes 'em that way," he offered with a grin.  "The same as Dawn does."

"Where is she going to school?"

"The local college.  No way am I letting that girl, a seventeen-year-old girl, go to England on her own and end up doing stupid stuff.  Especially since half the stuff the Watchers wanted her to learn can be gotten over here in a less expensive, more American friendly school where I can make sure she's not hanging out in a frat house."

"Dawn has more sense than that," Mac assured him.

Xander snorted.  "Buffy went party girl for nearly a whole semester."  Mac gaped at him.  "Dawn'll try it out a few times but I think she could use some more solid backup until she's ready to travel that way.  Buffy pouted about her going to England and Giles agreed that many of the same classes can be taught over here but they had trained those teachers specially for Council needs.  I snorted and walked off after leaving him with a probable course of study based on what they did and what needed upgraded.  Things like forensics, the basics should help, right?"

"That or profiling, I would think either would help," Horatio said as he came out with the foreign detectives.  "Dawn's course of study?"

"Yes," Xander groaned.  "They wanted her to study some crap that hasn't been in use in generations.  Including how to use an abacus.  Giles said it was tradition."

"Tradition can be good but sometimes newer technology has to gently push the old out of the way."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Can you check the arms case I have on my desk?  I'm not sure about the clan."

"Sure."  He got up to get it, looking it over as he sat down.  "Hey, haven't seen any of these guys in a few years."

"Let me know if I need my vest."

"Wear a raincoat.  They blow snot in greeting," he called after him.

Ray Vecchio shuddered.  "Are there any of those in Chicago?  If so, Kowalski can go talk to them."

Horatio smiled.  "I definitely won't be wearing a good suit to that meeting," he said quietly.  Both Rays cracked up at that.

"Uniforms do solve that issue," Fraser said.

"It's going to be hell to clean, Benny," Vecchio told him.

"The consulate would be paying for it."

"The Dragon Lady would crap cute, cuddly kittens if you walked in covered in snot," Kowalski said, giving him a nudge and a grin.  "Especially if you're drippin' on her rug."

"She would not be pleased but she'd make Turnbull clean it up while I got presentable again."  He looked at Horatio.  "Would the RCMP set up their offices the same way?"

"They would," Horatio agreed.  "Once we get all the library on digital media our director has said he'd have no problem sharing information sources.  That'll help most of the local offices more than anything but setting ethical rules.  That has been a problem for some of the local offices when their overlording department only wants them out of their city.  New York started that but had to back down when our people stepped in and started to yell."  That got a smirk from Vecchio.  "They were from there originally."

"Why do you get to set up so many local offices?" Fraser asked.  "If it's not too impertinent."

"I seem to be able to cut through all the complaining and set up a solid team that's only going to scream a little bit when they run into strange things."

"I'm already screaming at our bosses for switching our unit over," Kowalski assured him.

"I don't think that's unreasonable.  The others have been by hire and referral.  Officers who already dealt with the issue in the past.  Ones who had been our local liaisons and the ones who were dealing with the strange things quietly."

"That makes more sense," Vecchio said, sounding like he was going to complain.

Horatio smiled.  "Some cities want an expedient unit.  Some want them quieted down."

"We'd like that," Kowalski agreed quickly.

Horatio smiled.  "Your city is fairly well settled.  It's almost on a family system in your city, the same as New York's is.  Yours, Philadelphia's, and Baltimore's all split off from the original colony in New York.  They tend to live in a quiet family clan and enclave system.  They also tend to punish anyone who steps out of line very harshly.  They've relaxed very little."  He grinned slightly.  "Xander had one that called him in on an SVU case up there.  Somehow it had come to the attention of the SVU office up there and they demanded that Xander be called in because some enclaves see him as a higher authority since he used to be a hunter.  They had him carry out their sentence of killing him for touching his daughter."

"Works for me," Vecchio said.

"It didn't trouble him much either," Horatio said.  "Now and then we do get asked for that.  In those situations we leave it up to the local office or the responding team if it's a federal level case to make that call."

"What's ours versus yours?" Fraser asked.  "I'm still fuzzy on the boundary."

"Basically, anything the local office says is local, outside of normal federal level crimes, is considered a local crime.  Now, if you ship to us or not is up to your office.  That's up to your city to make a new prison or refurbish one for the needs of housing the demonic contingent.  When I come up in two days, I'll bring the prison's specs."

"What about the judge thing?" Ray asked.  "Will we need a prosecutor too?"

"Yes.  If you're going to try them, you'll need a full court system set up.  We have one judge and a single prosecutor here.  We have a defense team if the demons want to use them.  We present full cases and testify, here and for local hearings."

"Our boss wanted to ask about the spring issues," Vecchio told him.

"It's not the same every year.  Some are bad, some are less than bad, some take Xander and the slayers going into hyper-protective overdrive.  Some are bad enough that even we have to have a night to shudder after we're all out of the infirmary."

"The girls seemed good and well trained," Ray Kowalski offered.

"They are.  Even if they do pout about doing daily PT.  The older girls are very good at what they've been called to do.  Xander and their trainers make sure of it.  Xander also trains us."

"Are we going to need special training?" Vecchio asked.

Horatio gave him a look.  "That depends on what your city decides on how to handle certain matters.  Around here, all agents have to be able to use their sidearms very well, crossbows if necessary, and we all have to be proficient enough with a sword or other bladed weapon in case it becomes critically necessary on a case.   Then again, we deal with higher level cases and back up the girls if the apocalypses are too bad."  That got a slow nod.  "We can share the sort of ammo we use here, that would be helpful.  There's also letting whoever wants to take the other lessons.  Many of us have had to get into physical altercations of the holding, throwing down, and pouncing on someone variety to get them off a teammate during issues on a case.  Some of Xander's have included artillery."

"Is that usual?"

"No," he assured him with a slight smile.  "Only if you're Xander."

Vecchio looked at his two partners.  "Don't you two *dare* turn into the bouncy, violent one."   They just gave him odd looks.  "Kowalski's halfway there and Fraser already deals with the strange shit."

"I only go that way when I have ta," Ray complained.

"Really, Ray.  Neither of us are hunters that way."

"Good!" he said.  "Less stuff to get on my suits."

Kowalski smirked at him.  "You might wanna invest in jeans, Raymondo."  He jogged off when he saw the little unicorn bleating pitifully.  "What's wrong?"  She looked at him and gave him an odd look then nuzzled him and went back to bleating.

"She's doing chores," Horatio said over the noise.  Binky nuzzled him and trotted into the slayer building and up to Anna's room to get her to play with her.  Horatio looked at the amused looking two men and Vecchio, who was shuddering.  "Anna adopted all the pets we have and named them.  She and Binky have crashed together many nights in front of the slayer's tv."

"I don't wanna know," Vecchio said, shaking his head quickly.  "Too strange for me.  I can't tell Ma or she'll come here and smack you all with her purse for daring to raise girls without a mother figure around.  My sisters would warp them.  No one needs that trauma."  Fraser gave him a frown.  "What?  You know Frannie would!  Maria too!"

"Maria would not, Ray.  She'd be a mostly supportive big sister figure to the girls on base.  The same as I'm sure all the other women who work here are."

"Yes they are," Horatio agreed.  "As for mothers, we do have the teaching team that does some of that and Xander along with Abby in our lab.  The teaching team is a father and his two sons," he said at Ray's amused look.

"Nothing's as good as an Italian mother to get you fussed over."

"They already eat three times what the agents do," Horatio told him.  "Every sweet on base disappears too."  That got a smirk.  "They could use the mothering but most of the girls would run from it."

"Ma don't let anyone run," Kowalski said.  "I went undercover as him and I'm still getting dragged over by my ear to help his mother grocery shop."

Horatio coughed to hide his laugh.  "It's good when people like you."

"Sometimes too much.  Eight on a Saturday morning comes to mind," Kowalski said, looking over at his partner.  "Why doesn't she get you up more often?"

"Maria lets the kids try to torment me and they know better," Ray said dryly.  "Otherwise you'd have been called over to fix the lawnmower and do the lawn too."

"I did fix the mower and do the lawn."

"Enough, boys," Fraser complained mildly.

"Families can be like that.  My lab and I had a few very odd and amusing arguments over the years we were in Miami together," Horatio said with a smirk.  "Are you joining us for dinner tonight, gentlemen?"

"There's room for us?" Kowalski asked.

"We have a very nice cafeteria and a cook that's used to feeding an army."

"Cool with me," Kowalski said.  "When do we fly back, Ray?"

"Ten tomorrow."

"That means we gotta leave at what, six?"  Horatio nodded.  "That works.  I'll set my alarm."

"I'll be up by then," Fraser assured them both.  "Let's go rest and send that information back to the Leftenant so he can get started on some of the ideas we'll need to deal with.   That way they can work on their own cases."

"I gave Xander my last one," Horatio admitted with a slight smile.  "He likes to deal with the weapons dealers."

"Ah."  They all three nodded.

Horatio turned to look at the sound of running feet.  "Chase, do you need help?"

"No!" he called.  "Just an injured person at the gate.  Stay!"  He came out to the guard shack, finding the guy there holding his ribs.  "Broken?" he asked.

The guy looked at him and nodded.  "Definitely.  That takes time to heal and the little witches ran out of hiding time when Angel got them for going after my boss again."

Xander jogged out, grinning when he saw him.  "C'mon, you can have my favorite bed in the infirmary if you need it."

"They emailed you?"

"No, Angel called."  He smiled.  "House isn't that bad and Chase is the nice one.  Our herbal painkiller is non-addictive and works very well on broken ribs."  He helped Chase get him inside.  "Did you talk to anyone yet?"

"Nope.  I don't want to either."

"Hey, we're used to needing people who can handle the end of the world," Xander quipped.  "If you want quiet we can get you that too," he said at the odd look he got.  "Thankfully, Georgia won't be happening again anytime soon."

"Good.  That got to where I was being held.  Sounded nasty."  Xander nodded, losing his smile.  "It cleaned up?"

"Yeah, they got the field blessed and all that already."  He and Chase walked him into the infirmary.  "Hey, House?"  He came out of the office.  "He was tortured by some tween witches and before then by other bad guys."

"They giggle you into shooting them?" House asked.

"They rescued me.  I put up with the giggling for that," the agent said, letting himself be helped up onto the bed.  "It's only broken ribs and the rest of the concussion.  Really."

House looked at him then pointed at Xander.  "Don't be like him.  We routinely have to knock him out, chain him down, and then let the girls fuss after we've fixed whatever he did to himself that time.  We can do the same to you."  The agent moaned.  "So be a good boy and Chase might give you a lollipop."

He looked at him then at House.  "He's cute but not my type."

Chase blushed.  "That's good since I like girls," he said, fleeing to get medicine.

"Aww, but the girls still want me to date you, Chase.  They said it'd finish making you evil enough to pounce House."

Both Doctors gave him an odd look before the agent leaned over and nerve pinched him.  "Before he warps my brain and I think he's the version of what normal all agents should be."

House smirked at him.  "We'll enjoy having you here.  Do you have any records we should get from anywhere?"

"That would get attention."

"We can do it in mysterious ways," House assured him.  "Want to let us tell the director or do you want to?"

"I have a letter for him from Angel."

"Chase, get..."

"He's already on his way down."  He handed over the vial.  "Here, take that."  The guy looked at it then took it.  A few minutes later he quit hunching over and actually smiled.  "They had it when we got here.  It's amazing," Chase agreed.  He got Xander onto a bed before Daniel got there.  Xander got a pointed look.  He pointed at the new guy.  "He said Xander was warping us."

"He often does."  He looked at the guy.  "Angel warned me he sent you away from the teen witches of angst."

"They were good to me."

"Good.  Then we won't have to bring them up on charges."  He looked him over.  "Needing to break your trail?  Needed healing?  Or did you need to call someone higher to let them know you're alive?"

"I'd rather they all thought I was dead."

"That's fine.  Do you have an alternate ID set up?"  The agent smirked at him but shrugged slightly.  "We need an arms master before Xander has to keep doing that job too.  The boys could use some help with the training now and then too.  You'd be over that and agent PT."

The agent considered it, then nodded.  "Pays well?"

"Plus free room, board, and all the annoying girls who want to coo over you you want," he said with an evil smirk.  "Plus if Jack needs help, I can refer him to you for quiet talks since you're both about as covert as my old project is."

"Is it still going?"

"Under DCIS's banner now," Daniel told him.  "Along with Area 51 and NID.  We made sure they were ethical first of course."

"I can try.  As long as no one tries to torture me."

"If someone tries to torture anyone, we sic Xander on them," House assured him.  That got a more relaxed man.  "The only one around here allowed to torture anyone are the girls torturing Xander."

"Even better."

"You'd have to stock, sort, maintain, and log in evidence," Daniel said.

"I can do that.  I'm very proficient in all types of weapons and I was a ranger, Doctor Jackson."

"Good.  Then we've never been formally introduced."

"Jack."  He held out a hand.  "Don't tell the nosy, old white guy patrol, as the witches named him?"

"I'll let him know you're safe if he asks."

"Good enough."

"There's paperwork to fill out so I can pay you.  Is he okay, House?"

"Broken ribs, a few stitches that'll need to be pulled soonish.  Looks like a back ache too. Make sure he has a tub and shower."

Daniel looked at him then at Xander then back at him.  "Have him put in more therapeutic devices in the gym?  Whirlpool, hot tub, whatever's best for all the injuries."  He led Jack out.  "Our gym and pool are at the end of this hall.  Pool's to the right, gym to the left.  It's open to the slayers and agents."  That got a nod.  "House isn't really mean, just snarky."

"I can do that," he promised.

They got on the elevator and Daniel looked at him.  "Think we could use you if we have to go rescue Xander because he got kidnaped or something?"

"I've done that many times in the past.  Does it come up often?"

"There's a lot of demons who know that Xander does a lot around here.  We've been setting up protocols for getting him back since he's usually the one doing the getting back."  They stopped on the first floor in security.  "Gentlemen, this is our new arms master, Jack Bauer.  Get him his ID so I can do his paperwork please?"

"Yes, sir, Doctor Jackson," the head of security said.  He got the picture taken and the ID card put together within a minute.  "There you go.  Elevator works on it, so does the cage to the armory.  The press code can be reset whenever you want us to but there's a list that gets it and there is an emergency code in case the agents or the girls need something for a situation."

"Good to know.  I came up to check over the defenses for my old agency before."

"The ID gets you past all that."

"Good.  Thank you.  Anything I should worry about?"

"Binky'll play with you.  Digger won't because I doubt you're a virginal sort, Jack.  Don't stand in George's sun and watch out for the girls on a mass pouting thing like this morning."

"I met George.  Who're Binky and Digger?"

"The unicorns," Daniel said with a small smile.  "You'll probably see them later."  He led him up to his office.  "The second floor is the lab and some limited storage areas for paperwork plus the library.  There's not a whole lot of fun reading stuff but we have been slowly expanding it.  Thomas is the Council's librarian and that's his domain.  He's decent and lets you do whatever you want as long as you don't eat in there."

Jack smiled.  "Good.  Is there a place I can get clothes?"

"There's a decent mall in town and a real city a few hours away.  There's a good bank we go through in town for paychecks.  We can figure out whatever you need to set you up with a good fake identity so you can do all that stuff without notice, Jack."

"Please."  They walked into the office and his Jack joined them a few minutes later.  He looked then held out a hand.  "Jack Bauer."

"Jack O'Neill.  Have you met the smartass patrol yet?"

"House has seen him, so has Chase, and he knocked Xander out for being warping."

"Good!  Watch out for the girls.  They're doing a mass pout today because Xander's making them do PT this summer.  Oh, heard he grounded a few from the gate's guards, Danny."

"I heard that too.  They walked off.  Xander was going to spank.  They turned an hour of PT into three and a half.  Wesley got him calmed down and reminded them the more they pouted the less free time they had after chores and slayer homework."

Jack smirked.  "At least they're not being spoiled."

"No, they're mostly like normal girls," Daniel assured him.  He grinned at Jack.  "It happens sometimes.  The girls go on a massive pouting movement and get grounded or something."

"I had a teenage daughter until her mother got smart and left me."  He took the paperwork packet to fill out.  "Want me to put my real clearance on here?"

"The last three or two sheets is what goes in the system.  The rest is my private files and if someone else breaks into them to steal files I get to beat them and make them miserable too."

Jack smirked.  "We heard and cheered."  He got to work on the forms, handing them over once he was done.  "That's my backup identity that I have set up.  It comes out of Corcouran, Mexico.   Supposedly I retired down there."

"That'll work for me," Daniel promised, turning to the computer to input it.  A few minutes later he smiled and printed something.  "That's your salary per year."  Jack smiled at that number.  "Check to make sure all your numbers are right."  Jack looked then handed it back.  "Good."  He finished inputting it and sealed the file as his personal eyes-only, like he had Xander's.  "There you go and it is sealed."  He looked at him.  "We had to start doing that with Xander's because we got hacked a few times."

"Do we have hackers on base?"

"Abby and McGee both do.  Our IT department has two others who can," Jack told him.  "Want to be called Jack around base?"

"That'd be fine.  I kept it as a middle name," he offered with a grin.

Anna stomped in.  "Why is Xander knocked out again?" she demanded.  "You haven't had him going off to do bad things again!"

"We got him because he was warping House," Jack O'Neill told her.

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Gibbs is off base.  I need help with my hand-to-hand."

"Sam's in the lab," he offered.

"Did Rodney come down too?  Abby would be happy and squealy."

"No, he's having their usual spring thing."

"Oooh.  Does he need more slayers?  We have the whiny ones if he needs more than Tiff and Buffy's on break and eating a lot; her pants are still too tight again."

"I don't think he needs it but I'll let Sheppard know he can borrow if he needs to."

"Good!"  She smiled at the new guy.  "Hi, I'm Anna.  Are you a new agent?"

"Arms master," Daniel told her.  "He's over the range too."

"Cool," she said with a bright, slightly insane grin.  He smirked back.  "I've got to do crossbow practice sometime this week.  Gibbs too because he sucks at it.  Still.  Need shown around?"

"I'm not doing anything," Daniel told her.

She scowled at him.  "Then go wake up Xander and have him find something messy so Shea gets a few days off."  She hauled Jack up and walked him off.  "We need to take you to Cloris.  She's over the apartments.  Then you can get your stuff shipped in so you have it spread around however you like.  And if you want, the slayers on discipline duty can help you move or clean stuff that needs it.  That's what we do when it's not KP."  He smiled but nodded.  "Mary, new arms master," she called as she walked outside.  She and the unicorns came rushing over.  "Don't be scared.  Binky won't horn you up the backside unless she catches you smoking.  Just hide it in your hand like the guard does," she said with a grin.  "The gray one is Binky.  The other is Digger.  They've got their own barn out back but they tend to like to come and play with us."

Jack squatted down, letting them sniff him.  "Hi, kids."  They both bleated at him and Digger backed up but Binky nudged his hand and got a pet.  "Let me settle in then you two can try to follow me around."  They nudged Anna, getting petted.

"I'll take him to Cloris.  They missed you while you were doing your paper for Sammy."  She took his arm properly.  "Cloris is over our housing and stuff.  She'll have keys and linens until you can get yours down.  Will you need parking?"

"No, I probably won't.  You're Mary?"

"I am."  She grinned.  "Which one are you?"

"Jack."

"Wow, two Jack's on base.  Well, we'll figure out how to get you and not Mr. Jack because he can be grumpy now and then."  She walked him into the slayer hall.  "This is our building."  He gave her a look.  "Shortcut."  She led him out the back door and over to the towers.  "It's easier than walking that way with the way the sidewalk's cracked after one of the things in the prison tried to escape that way.  Xander was not happy to have to yell at him.  Again."  She smiled as she opened the door.  "Cloris, new arms master."

"Already?  Usually it takes them six or seven months to find a new one."

"I just left my old assignment and it had been offered to me before," he said quietly.

"Oh, good.  Family, dear?"

"No, ma'am.  Just me.  Maybe a friend who might visit if I tell him I'm alive and well."

"Okay.  Well.  We have one open in the high rise here.  We have six open in the new building and one that's just been completed in the newest building but you'll have to put up with construction noise now and then.  Especially when Xander's trying to think so he goes to build in the middle of the night with Jethro Gibbs."

"What's the new building look like?"

"Pretty nice.  Two stories."  She got the keys to an end unit and led him over there with linens under her arm.  "We don't do inspection.  We figure if you're having problems, you're adult enough to tell us.  Name, dear?"

"Jack."

"Good."  She let him inside.  "This is the new corner unit.  Downstairs you'd have O'Neill's apartment until his is finished in the newest building.  Then you'd get whichever agent I like the best."  She smiled and he smirked back.  "This is your bathroom."  She let him see and he tried the water.  "That'll be on later on.  All you have to do is turn the knobs.  Since we get frozen pipes in winter we shut the valves so we didn't have to worry."

"I can understand that."  He walked into the bedroom, running a hand over the bed.  The mattress still had plastic on it.  "All new?"

"All new."  She opened up the closet.  "They didn't give you huge ones, but none of them have been really huge."  He looked in and nodded then went to look at his living area.  "You can cook in here if you don't want to eat in the mess hall.  There's a good grocery in town that we order from.  The town is very used to us."  That got a nod.  "All the girls go to the public school locally too.  The sheriff and all them like us even if they do think some of us are a bit strange.  The mall's on the other end of town," she said with a point.  "The bank's downtown by the pharmacy."

"I'll remember that."  He ran a hand over a wall.  "Someone did a good job."

"Xander checked constantly like it was his own personal house.  He lives in the married tower so you don't have to worry about the girls breaking in to pounce on you."

Mary smiled up at him.  "The girls who were on rescue duty and some of the others do daily dawn PT and jog too if you wanted to join them.  Our watcher does."

"I might do that."  He patted her on the head.  "Is Gwen back?"

"Yup, sure is.  She's being tortured by Xander before she's sent as Senior Slayer to Vienna.  He's very proud of her.  And all the others but Shea needs a lot of help so he's held them back to help her."

"That's good of him."  He shook Cloris's hand.  "Paperwork?"

"No, son.  All yours."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "If you want, the girls on punishment can help you paint or move things."  She left him alone.

He smiled.  "Let's go find Gwen to see if I can borrow her car for a few hours."

"Okay."  She bounced up and took his hand to lead him out there.  "Don't worry about locking it.  They quit panty raiding finally."  He laughed at that.  "Some of the older girls were naughty that way, Jack.  They'd hit on trees.  John was not happy with them when he had to go confiscate his undies back.  Even from Brenda, who was sleeping in his boxers and she's like a daughter to him now."  She leaned into the usual gym then huffed and took him to the weapons room, letting him whistle at the niceness.

The girls looked over.  "Jack!" Gwen said, bouncing over to hug him.  "What're you doing here?"

"I'm the new arms master.  The witches let me go when Angel got onto them.  By the way, I'm not here."

"I can understand that.  Need to use our computers to let anyone know?"

"No, I'm here.  As far as they're concerned I no longer exist."

"Decent."

"Can I borrow your jeep?"

She pouted.  "My baby, but I could use a few things at the mall."  He nodded at that.  "C'mon. Thanks, Mary.  Shea, go rest since Xander's hiding."

"Jack knocked him out because he was warping House again," Mary told him.  "Anna hissed that at me."

"Okay then.  Probably needed the nap anyway with the way we've been keeping him up."  She walked him out.  "Let me grab my keys?"  He nodded.  "Need to stop anywhere?"

"Do we have access?"

"All the apartments are wired and we have a computer set up in the building if you needed to get into stuff before we go."  He nodded, following her to activate his second identity a bit more firmly and get his money transferred to the local bank.  Then they left together, him buckling up when she started the engine.  Even if slayers could drive, he wasn't sure how good she did.  Not too bad as it turned out.  She let him stop at the bank first and they had the paperwork all ready for him to open a new account and hand over the money he had electronically transferred over.  Then they went to the mall to get him what he needed.  He thought about a laptop but she coughed and pulled out her wallet to hand over a card with a wink then went to the bra shop.   He smirked at her back.  It was going to be nice having some backup on base if things went south or they came for him.

***

Xander looked up as Daniel walked into his office.  "You have four good choices for therapeutic water devices.  Unless you wanted to add a sauna too?"

"Do the agents want one?"

"Not that I know of."  He got out of his seat and let him have what he had been looking over.  "House's thigh could use this set," he said with a point.  "It'll be good for the agents' injuries too.  That's the most expensive set.  If we get a combined system it'll be cheaper but none of them have the same range of usage and most of them are smaller, single person units.  The more expensive one can fit up to six at the biggest size so a whole team can soak if we all get injured.  Or the girls if they get injured.  Less scheduling that way.  Though I may talk to John about putting in a therapeutic use only whirlpool in their building."

Daniel looked it over.  "How expensive is it?"  Xander handed over the cost sheet, making him gasp.  "You weren't kidding."

"No, I wasn't."  He grinned.  "Which is why I was looking at the multipurpose systems but I'm not liking them as much.  I asked House's opinion and he moaned in pleasure about the thought of that more expensive one.  Or maybe changing out his apartment's tub."

"That we might be able to do," he admitted.  "What about single uses?"  Xander pointed at that column.  He groaned.  "Still very expensive."

"That's from a wholesale company."

"How much would giving just House a new tub be?"

"About two grand for the good one with the jets that'll help his thigh or back when he cramps.  Plus aggravation from the girls when they try to borrow it on him.  Or we can put it into the new building going in."  Daniel looked at him.  "If we move the gym over there it'd be easier to set up.  That'd leave that big space open for something else, not sure what, but whatever we needed it for."  He pulled that set of ideas out of his back pocket.  "If we do it this way....  We could actually turn that area into Jack's office or a liaison center for Horatio."  That got a small smile.  "It's all set up.  We're running the tunnels from the high rises and here to the new buildings so no one would have to go outside.  Plus there's a good, huge space on the first floor there for the gym."

Daniel looked over the ideas.  "How many apartments would that take out?"

"Cloris's new office.  We could put her down there."

"What did she think about that?"

"She said she'd love you forever and ever if you made her knees quit hurting in the winter."

Daniel smiled.  "Mine too.  Jack's too."  He called in the interested parties, including O'Neill.  "Okay, here's what we're thinking.  There's three things we can do.  We can...take some of the gym we have to put in new therapeutic equipment.  We can give House his own new therapeutic tub and let him sort out who uses it whenever they can whine him into it or we can move the gym to the newest building and put Cloris's office and the liaison center down in the old gym."

"How much is that going to change the plans?" Jack asked.

"Three walls that aren't built yet," Xander said.  "But we have to tell them soon so they can beef up the electrical systems and run the plumbing to that area."

"Are we talking like whirlpool tub?" House asked.  Xander let him see the most expensive set, getting a moan.   "That looks nice."

"That'll help with all the injured joints and aches and pains the agents come in with?" Daniel asked.

"It would.  If you could get these three they'd help the most," he said with a point.

"They don't come combined.  One would have to be single person only and the other one would only seat two.  I figure the bigger one should fit a whole team or a bunch of the girls who need it after something.  Single person only would lead to scheduling things and fussing."

"Plus it'd let us put in a public bathroom there," Cloris pointed out. "I'd be willing to clean it so we had one that meant you didn't have to rush off somewhere."

Daniel nodded.  "Would you mind your office being over here?"

"No!"  She smiled.  "I'm right next to the tunnel.  Either way it's not that far for me.  Plus I can flirt with Chase.  He's such a cute little thing.  Needs a good woman to smother him to death."

"Yes he could," House agreed dryly, smirking at her.  "I'll let him know you're hunting."  She beamed at him.  "He likes cookies."

"You like cookies and you'd steal any I left for him," she countered.  "If I do, I'd drop them at his place, House.  Not like I don't have the master key."  He laughed at that.  "Does the new building have the bigger tubs?  I know a few of the agents want something deeper to soak in."

"They do," Daniel told her.  "That was one complaint we fixed with the last building."  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"They couldn't get enough ordered.  Three of them are in there and this time they're waiting to place the order from the supplier directly instead of going to the warehouse place we went to before.  Also they wanted to know if House was moving out there.  If so they were going to be specially insulating his apartment so he can play his piano whenever he wants.  That would let us make sure he got a deeper tub."

Daniel looked at House.  "That's up to you.  It'd be on the bottom floor so no more elevator."

"It's not over the prison like that one walkway," Xander told him. "The other one was."  That got a nod.  "So that's up to you.  Also, got the plans for the next one, Daniel."  He handed those over from the top of the filing cabinet.  "They wanted to know if we wanted little, tiny efficiencies for more visiting people."

"No."

"Didn't figure you did.  There's two sets of plans rolled up in there.  That's for the next time we need to add more room."

"Agreed."  He put them aside.  "House, do you like the gym idea?"

"I could like that," he agreed.  "You guys are trying to spoil me."

Xander grinned at him.  "We want to make sure the guy who stitches us up when we do heroic yet stupid stuff is in a good, happy mood."  House laughed at that. "Otherwise you bring out the big honkin' needles."

"Only for you, kid."  He looked at the ideas.  "That's not going to be enough room.  It's smaller than what we have right now."

"The pool's staying where it is," Daniel told him.  "Is that an option, Xander?"

"It is but we'd have to take a changing room out of the way or reduce the area that the infirmary shares with it."

"That's our storage area," House told him.

"I know."

"Which is going to be cheapest?"

"Really, it'll be about the same to run the lines no matter where they go," Xander told him.  "The gym has the easiest fix if we take that back changing room.  Then again, most of us don't use the changing areas."

"So mostly the expense of the units and putting them in?" Daniel asked.  Xander nodded.  "In the others it'd be added to the finishing costs so probably upping the budget by a few hundred more plus the cost of the equipment."  He looked at House.  "When do they need to know if he wants to move?"

"By Friday.  They're going to start the wiring and insulation then."

"I hate moving," House told him.  He frowned slightly.  "Would it be bigger?"

"A bit bigger in the living room but the same size kitchen and bedroom I think," Xander said, pulling that bit of plans out of the right drawer.  "Here we go.  Um....  Ten more feet of width in the bedroom."  He let him see.  "The island looks a bit bigger too."

"Who gets the huge half a floor?" House asked.  Daniel pointed at Jack.  "Pity."

Jack gave him a smug look.  "I earned it.  I had to put up with him in the field.  Running at trouble, getting kidnaped.  All that fun stuff."

Daniel gave him a dirty look.  "And I'm sure you didn't get into any trouble at all, right, Jack?"

"Not me," he said with a grin.

"I should ask Mitchell."

"Go right ahead.  He wasn't there."

"Sam's in the lab," he countered.

"That's just mean.  McKay's not down, right?"  Xander pinched him.  "Hey!"

"Leave the cute, babbling, geeks alone.  They're adorable and teaching the girls what real couples look like.  That way no one has to complain when I start to date again."

"When you're ready we'll make sure none of them want to take over or destroy the world," Jack said dryly.

Xander looked at him.  "None of mine have been *that* evil."

"Daniel wanted him to have kids.  They'll be that evil," House told him.

Jack shuddered.  "No.  Not while I'm here please."

Xander grinned.  "We've got some time before the last effects of the spell Willow put on me long ago wears off."

"Warn us before you try," Daniel ordered.  "That way we can make sure you're in a big enough apartment."

"You'll hear us if and when I find someone," he reminded him with a sweet, innocent grin.

"I'm sure we'll hear Dean complaining some more," Daniel agreed with a grin back.

"I'll put up more insulation," Xander promised.  House laughed.  "His bedroom is against my study."

"So Sammy got the good room?"

"His is next to Tony's bedroom and he's loud too according to Sam."  House groaned, shaking his head.  "So they're trapped in the middle."  He beamed at Daniel.  "Six of the girls are moving out this fall to take up in Cleveland where theirs are leaving."

"College?"

"Three are.  Three aren't but one's going to Chicago next year.  She's already in Cleveland and she has to finish her schooling before she can apply up there."

"Good.  I'm glad that worked out."  He looked at House.  "Think you can let me know by noon on Friday?  I'm supposed to meet with them at two to go over some final ideas they had."

"Probably."

"If not, you have to stay there," Xander teased.  "And listen to the windows rattle all winter again."

"I'm used to that.  New Jersey has winters too."  He shot the boy a grin.  "How are you handling snow?"

"I'm very glad I learned how to drive on it that first winter thanks to Tony.  And that our new maintenance guys are good and I don't slip on the ice anymore."  That got a nod from everyone.  "Anna is too."

"I think we're all glad she's no longer limping," Daniel told him.  "Cloris, which option do you like best?"

"She shrugged.  "It doesn't matter to me, Daniel.  Whichever is easiest and best for the base."

"Xander?"

"Either use the changing areas or switch it to the new building," Xander told him.  "Easiest and fastest done and I can probably do most of the changing room work myself if I can get a weekend off.  We have showers and stuff in there right now so it won't be too big a problem to divert the pipes a bit farther and then redo the floors."

"Can we make a mini gym out there anyway?" Jack asked.

"We could," Daniel agreed.  He thought about it.  They did have the room in the budget they had to use up.  "Not the pool but I can see some of the therapeutic equipment and a few treadmills and bikes going out there."  That got a nod from House.  "If you do move, let me know if the girls are moving your piano or not."

"Not.  It's too delicate to be rolled over on the sidewalks.  I'll get a specialty mover in," he said.  "Is this the budget surplus we've got to use or loose?"

"Right now we're projecting one, as long as nothing too big goes boom in the next few weeks," Daniel admitted.

"This'll use a good portion of that," Jack agreed.  "How much are we looking at?"  Daniel found the budget folder and tossed it over for him.  He read then nodded.  "We cut twelve percent?"

"They wanted ten, we'll give them twelve this year."  That got a few smirks.  "Most of the stuff we've upgraded won't need to be for a few more years.  We'll be good on the budget by then."

Xander looked at House.   Then at Daniel.  "Has anyone heard anything about our new arms master and his former people's job?"  They all frowned at him.  "We might want to get an idea if they're dealing with a huge bad thing for next spring."

"We can do that," Daniel agreed.  "Did someone have a vision?"

"No, but I was thinking that his former people would probably be at least tipped about anything too heavy so we had plans in place."

"Is this a just in case thing?" House asked.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I think it is."  That got a nod and Daniel made a note.  "I don't want to bust him but if he can tap an intel source it might help earlier on instead of having to plan around easter."

"We can see," Daniel promised.  "We think it'll be bad?"

"For some reason, I do.  I think it's going to be bad for the base too.  I'm not sure why."  He shrugged and grinned.  "Sorry, what was I saying?"

House looked at him.  "A just in case feeling."  Xander grimaced and shuddered.  Which meant that had been a warning from on high, and an odd form of vision.  He glanced at Daniel, who smiled at the boy.  "How much to put a set of the good ones in the two places, kid?"

"Thinking about it, it'd almost be easier to move the whole gym that way and put it in there and the changing area."  He sketched out his idea for Daniel.  "That'd make it easier for everyone to find the gym.  I know a few of the girls have been avoiding it.  This way they could sneak around and feel like they were back in the panty raiding days without actually breaking and entering.   With the pool, if we change this room, it'll be easier."

Daniel looked then nodded.  "I can see that happening.  Do we have to glass one wall?"

"You might want to put in a glassed, free space," House offered.  "A few of the people on base do Yoga and things."

"Good point."  He noted that down and had Xander fix the idea for that.  "That'll work.  I'll get onto that.  By Friday at noon, House."

"Yes, boss."  He got up with a small moan.  Xander gave him a worried look.  "I'm fine.  I was up late last night thinking."  He wandered out, getting some coffee on his way down to his office.  "We're moving the gym and putting in healing water therapies."

"We could use it," Chase agreed.  "Are you all right?"

"I was up most of the night."

"There's nothing going on, House.  Take a nap."  He went back to working on the reference material they had been gathering together.  It was nearly time to sort it into book format.  House smirked, going to do that on the couch in his office.  Chase shook his head.  "Stubborn bastard.  Not like we do that much out here," he muttered.  And to make sure House was going to be a good boy and take care of himself, he sent Wilson an email and an offer of a plane ticket.  House needed old friends to torment for a while.  It'd make him feel normal again.

***

Xander walked out to where Jack was watching the sunset.  "I'm making bullets tonight if you want to help."

"Isn't that my job?" he asked, smirking at the young man a little bit.

"Probably.  Know how to make the holy water tipped ones?"

"Nope.  Not yet."

"I can show you.  It's either that or I'm going to go build something."  He walked back to the armory, settling in with the molds and the metal he'd need to do what he needed to do.  He had to go find the holy water stash but John hadn't put it somewhere strange this month.  He came back and found Jack looking over everything.  "We hand pack everything.  The dipping solution for the wooden ones is in the cabinet," he said with a point.  "That makes it hard and last long enough.  The silver ones use the other molds because they shrink more than these do."  That got a nod.  Xander showed him how to use the special tipping mold to make the hollow area for the holy water.  Jack got to work on his own set.  "These are our most common carry.  Oh, if you looked, the wooden box?  It's for a special colt John and his boys have.  Those are formerly part of a relic."  Jack gave him an odd look.  "Sometimes you need the heavier firepower to kill a higher thing.  John has a special colt that kills demons.  I made the special bullets because his old stash ran out.  I'm fairly sure he's got the colt with him."  That got a nod.  Xander turned out his cooled tops and moved to pack them into the bottom casings with the gunpowder.  Jack made more tops while he packed them in.

Jack O'Neill came in and gave them an odd look.  "Didn't Danny hire him so you didn't have to do that?" he asked Xander.

"It's thinking time, Jack.   It's this or I go work on the newest building."

"We could probably use more anyway.  Where are the stashes?"  Xander pointed at the big shipping crates.  "You're joking."

"Nope.  All loose.  Most of us keep at least two clips full in our lockers and ours ready to load.  Did I show you how to use a portal yet?  I can't remember."

"Nope."

"I can do that in a while," he offered with a grin.  "That's how we move the artillery."  That got a nod.  "It's not that hard.  We have tons after an arrest last year."  He looked at Jack.  "The next time you have to take the boss with you, you're bringing one to smuggle him back in since he gets into so much trouble."

"Will it hold people?"

"Yeah, the demons that move people and other demons use them."  He got one out and hung it up, letting him see how to find the tuning spot on the crystal.  Both Jack's nodded at that and walked in to look around.  Jack came out shaking his head.  "Exactly.  That's why we use it for artillery."

"It's probably a good thing.  Can you pack it into a bag?" O'Neill asked.

"Yeah, we have one bag set up with a portal already in it.  That's what we took to Georgia."

"Decent," Bauer said with a small smile.  "I know some people who would kill for those.  Literally."  The other Jack gave him an odd look.  "Covert service?"

"True.  It's a lot easier to sneak one person in and out than a whole team."  He walked off shaking his head.  At least until Binky nearly ran him over and nuzzled him.  "Are you bored again?" he teased.  She neighed and nudged him with her nose.  He went out to kick the ball around with them.  They needed another playmate.  George just couldn't play unicorn soccer very well.

Xander grinned at Jack.  "If you have to use one in that manner, go for it.  We have about seventy of them in the drawers.  Make sure to keep the crystals with the sheets."

"I can do that."  They got back to work.  The kid knew what he was doing and showed him the rest of the armory.  They had some killer stuff in there.  Literally.

***

Xander came out for morning PT the next morning, finding Gibbs and the others.  "The girls?"

"In bed," Gibbs said.  He looked at Xander.  "Don't they usually do theirs in the afternoon?"

"Only during school.  Out of school it's PT, chores, lunch, free time."  That got a nod.  He looked at his girls.  "Shea, what did you do to yourself?"

"Threw myself down the stairs in a brilliant bid to have a day off," she said dryly.

"She tripped over Digger," Gwen told him.  "He was sneaking up to nap on Anna's bed since she didn't last night."

"Really?" Gibbs asked.  "Where is she?"

"No clue.  We were hoping she was with you or in the barn."

Jack Bauer came out.  "The little brunette one is in the dining hall."

"That's Mary," Xander said.  "Mary!"  She came jogging out.  "Where's your teammate?"

"No clue, Xander.  Do we have to have PT already?"

He looked at her.  "You can't have free time until you do PT and any chores."

"Shoot."  She went back to breakfast, bringing it out to eat while she stretched.  Gibbs gave her a look so she took the tray back then came back to work out with the older girls.  "I have no idea, guys.  She didn't wake me when she snuck out."

Xander jogged down to the guard shack.  "Anna's missing."

"She was out and wandering at two," one said, checking the sheet.  He looked at him.  "The guard steered her toward the slayer building."  Xander grimaced.  "Let us search, Harris."  He called out a 'look for' order into the comm system.

Daniel came jogging out.  "She's missing?"

"Up and wandering at two.  Never made it back to bed," Xander told him, listening to what came in.  He groaned, thumping his head against the wall of the guard shack.  "I'll get her."

"Gibbs knows where that is.  Let him.  He's her watcher," Daniel ordered.  They shared a look then Xander went to tell him.  "Any of the other girls going for a walk at midnight?"

"Only the one that's seeing the town boy on the back twenty, Doctor Jackson."

"Which girl?"

"Um...Shea?"

"I'll let Xander know."  He walked back that way, pulling Xander out of the conference.  "Shea's got a boyfriend she meets in the backwoods of the base."

"Really?"  He looked over at her.  "You can bring him up.  We'll only make sure he treats you well.  That way you don't have to lose sleep or be outside when it rains."  She slunk down, giving him a horrified look.  He looked at Gibbs.  "I don't know if it's nightmares or not.  She's a good one to get slayer dreams."

Gibbs nodded.  "I'll go get her."  He jogged that way.  He needed to go on his daily run anyway.

Xander looked at the others.  "Go wake 'em up," he ordered.  They smirked evilly and went to torment the others until they got up.  He stopped Shea.  "You're more than allowed to date, Shea.  We don't mind.  We'd only make sure he's good to you.  We expect the girls to be normal young women with sense."  She nodded at that.  "The same as I'm not going to tell your parents if you're dating unless it's a problem.  So bring him in during the day.  There's snakes and things back there."

"He's kinda grounded and his parents hate us."

"Sorry.  Do what you can."  She nodded at that.  "Make sure you're careful so we don't have to relieve you of duty before you're sent."

"Yes, Xander."  She strolled off, going to get in on the waking evilness the others were doing.

Xander sighed, looking at Daniel.  "I'm not mean, right?"

"No, you're not mean."  He patted him on the back then left them alone.

Xander settled in to stretch out before the daily workout.  He was in better shape now than he had been when he was the girls' age.

***

Gibbs found Anna still asleep and sat beside her, giving her a gentle pat to the head.  "Hey.  You should sleep in your bed."

"Stuffy."  She yawned, looking at him.  "Are you mad?"

"No.  Not that I want you wandering out here alone.  There's snakes and other animals out here."  She showed him the knife she had.  "That's sensible.  Want to talk about it?"

"No.  Just some bad dreams."

"Like slayer dreams?"

"I hope not.  I think I'm just a worrywart.  It's nothing big or anything."  She snuggled into his side.  "Am I in trouble?"

"Nope.  Next time slip a message under my door or wake me up if you need to talk, Anna.  I know you girls have a lot of stress on you."

She looked at him.  "Do you think Xander's right to ride us that way?"

"Yes.  You need to stay in practice, even if you're not on a patrol rotation.  You never know when something's going to happen here or at school or even the mall."

She nodded.  "I understand that but it's boring."

"PT isn't supposed to be exciting but it's something that's necessary.  Then again, you girls drag it out longer than it needs to be by complaining.  An hour of PT isn't that bad.  Even DiNozzo does that."  She yawned again.  "When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"Few weeks."

"No more coffee for you."

She pouted.  "I don't drink it at night."

"So?  You need your rest and it's too high octane for your younger body."  He gave her a  hug.  "Why was your room stuffy?"

"Because I can't open my window.  One of the girls glued it shut when the breeze kept migrating to her room and screwed up her papers.  She claims it disorganized her organized mess."

"I think it's time for another inspection."

"John'll be pissed he missed it."

He smiled.  "Not that sort.  Just a cleaning one."

"I clean very well," she pouted.

"You do.  You do a very good job, Anna.  You even managed to get the sawdust out of my shirt the last time you did mine."  She beamed at him.  "Which you don't have to do."

"Do so.  You need to be presentable sometimes.  Especially if you start to date again."  She smirked.  "Because we need more couples to stare at around here."

"I know.  You'll figure out what couples do when you're old enough to date."

"Next year?"

"Hell no."

"Dawn said she got to go on group dates at that age."

Gibbs looked at her.  "Group dates?"

"Yeah.  A few couples go to hang out together so no one can be naughty.  Or they go as a group and the significant others show up mysteriously at the movies and things like that."

"We'll see."  She laughed.  "Are you starting to like boys?"

"I'm wondering why boys are necessary for species survival.  They're mostly stupid and think I'm too delicate to do anything."

"Being that tiny is a slayer's weapon," he reminded her.  "It means they underestimate you."

"Yeah and so do the bullies."

"Did we have a lot of them?"

"The teachers said it's usual.  Boys figuring out they like girls by picking on them.  Before you got here I got a day out-of-school suspension for breaking a boy's finger because he tried to give me a wedgie.  They hurt, I was justified in hurting him back to stop him."

He smirked at her.  "There's non-violent ways around that sort of thing."

"He kept trying later until Brenda jumped on him."

"He was how old?"

"Um...fifteen?  He was in ninth grade."

He shook his head.  "You should've told Xander."

"I didn't want him dead or begging, Jethro."  He laughed at that.  "Brenda handles that stuff for us.  She's a good big sister.  If he had kept up, I would've told John and Sammy.  Dean would've made him beg for God to save him.  John would growl and Sammy would put him down in ways that'd make him look up the insults in the dictionary again."  Gibbs laughed harder at that.  "You know he would."

"I know."  He gave her a squeeze.  "Let's fix your window after PT.  I'll let the jog back be your PT today."

She beamed.  "Thank you."

"It had better not happen again.  If you need to wander that way, come camp on my couch."

"Yes, Jethro."  She got up and hauled him up with a grin.  "Let me grab stuff."  She grabbed her sweater she had been using as a blanket and her knife, putting them together and tying it around her waist then they jogged back to the building.  They made good time on their run.  Running with him was nearly as good as running with her i-Pod.  "Xander, he said jogging back is my PT today."

He looked at her.  "That's fine.  Need to talk?  Slayer dream?"

"Stuffy and thinking."

"If you need to talk, you can still come to me, Anna."

"I know."

"We'll be teaching a class on bullying this year," Gibbs announced.  The girls all stared at Anna.  "I know it wasn't just her."

"Yeah, but Brenda solved it all," one of the girls said.

"She'll be pregnant then," Xander reminded her.  That got a sigh and a nod.  "It's better if each of you has an extraction plan for that problem and then handle it in a way that doesn't make me go swear at the principal."  They all smirked.  "Yeah, I did."

Dawn nodded from her spot.  "Yes he did."  The other girls cracked up.  "He scared a few other parents too."  She beamed at Xander.  "We love you anyway, big brother."

"Thanks, Dawn.  You still can't live in a frat house your first year."

"I know.  I'm not going to drink the caveslayer beer."

The girls all stared at her.  "What?" Gibbs asked.

"Ah, you never heard that story.  Xander?"

Xander cleared his throat.  "Buffy's first semester of college."  Gibbs nodded slowly.  "She made a few frat boy friends thanks to some dirtbag that was doing freshman initiation for panty trophy points."  Gibbs' eyes narrowed at that.  "They came into the pub where I was working.  The bartender hated the college kids.  Especially frat boys.  His brother was a sorcerer.  He got his brother to make some herbs he laced his draft beer with."

"Forehead ridge, messy, knotted hair, altered speech, all of it," Dawn said cheerfully.

"Buffy nearly got her butt toasted because she went 'fire pretty' and tried to touch it until it bit her."  He and Gibbs shared a look.  Gibbs walked off moaning.  "It's in my journal if you wanted to see it, Gibbs."

"Maybe later."

"Read Giles' journal, Gibbs; it gave John and Dean both a migraine but they had to hug Xander after reading it," Dawn quipped.

Xander looked at her.  "That was the one up to graduation."  She gave him an odd look.  "Nothing on having Spike as a roomie or anything about that."

She gave him an odd look.  "Really?"  He nodded with a small smirk.  "What drove them that nuts?"

"Your sister."  She cackled.  "She did it to everyone else.  Willow helped.  That's why I'm so insane."  The girls all nodded.  "And just think, you guys could grow up into being Buffy too!" he finished cheerfully.  "And I will spank."

Dawn nodded.  "He does it hard too.  He caught me shoplifting once."  Xander smirked evilly at her.

Amber looked at her.  "He stopped you instead of Buffy?"

"She tried but she was why I was doing it.  Xander sat my butt down after giving out a big helping of daddy style justice and made me listen after I quit sobbing like he had beaten me to death."

"And now I get to do it if you guys miss your *hour* of PT," he said happily, rubbing his hands together.  They got to work harder and faster than before.  "Slow down."  They ignored him and ran off once they were done.  He gave Dawn a hug.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Am I living in the dorm?"

"Unless you want to commute during the winter, probably."

"We'll work it out."  She pinched him on the arm and walked off.  "I'm thinking Gibbs is fixing her window and Stuarana is going to complain."

"She needs to clean anyway."  He went to see if Gibbs needed any help before going to finish working on the case Horatio had surrendered so he could go to Chicago.  Ten minutes later he walked into the dining hall to look at the girls.  "We're doing a bug check later on tonight, ladies.  Not searching for contraband this time, but I am going to be checking for dirt and nastiness.  Like plates under beds and things.  Gibbs and Wes are helping."  Wes gave him an odd look.  "Before free time today, clean your rooms please."  He went to work on his case now.

"Not all of us can be as OCD as Anna," Kim said.  "My girl sure isn't."  Amber stuck her tongue out at her.  "Some of the girls look like hoarders too."

"I heard that is a real condition and if it's necessary the base's psychologist can help them," Wesley assured her.  She smirked at that.  "Though I doubt he was talking about Amber's socks being everywhere in your room."

"She finally quit that.  I told her if she didn't I was going to hand them to something in the prison that'd eat them on her.  Then she'd have cold feet all winter long."  She smirked at her girlfriend.  "She learned how to pick up clothes."

"It's fine," she said impatiently.

"Usually," Kim agreed.  Amber grinned at that.  "You're still only getting cuddles tonight since I'm on my spacer pills."  Amber moaned at that.  "Sorry."

"I know it happens.  The rest of us are going to have the same issue soon."

"Thanks for the warning," Mary quipped, getting a headsmack from Gibbs.  "They're mean when they're having their girl times!  I needed the warning, Jethro."

"That's still not a discussion for over a meal or in public."

"We're all girls but you guys.  Abby said girls talk about that stuff now and then."

"Not over meals," he assured her.  "Not in public either.  You have manners."

"Yes, Jethro."  She dug in again.  She was young, she'd get away with it for now.

Gibbs looked down the table.  "I did take fingerprints off Anna's window to see who glued it shut.  Whoever did it has ten days of punishment duty.  If you want to confess I'll drop it to seven."

The girl in question gave him a dirty look.  "She creates a tornado in my room."

"So?  Stuff a towel under your door."  She slumped.  "Did you glue it shut?"  She nodded, looking down.  "Then I'd put my name on the roster by tonight."

"Yes, Jethro."  She finished her breakfast and went to do that.  Then she went to clean her room.  She knew they all thought she was a dirty, messy person but she had a system and it worked for her.  She'd never find anything if she had to clean.  She sulked her way through cleaning until maintenance called to get her to help the construction guys for a few hours.  She was good at holding stud walls going up.  Slayer strength was good for that too and she was leaning a lot about how to build things.  Maybe she'd go into that when she aged out since she was getting so much experience now.

***

John looked over at Brenda, who was grinning at the small carnival.  They were there for work purposes but it didn't mean she didn't get to ride the rides and eat cotton candy.  Sam had gotten it for her so he wouldn't complain it was ruining her diet.  Or that it was unhealthy and probably had chemicals that were bad for his grandchild.  She gave him a hug around his arm.  He gave her a look.

"Because you're not complaining even though you want to."  She beamed.  "The ghost is still by the animals.  Sammy found it."

"Good."  They walked that way.  She had seen some on tv but this time the cows let her pet them.  The sheep too.  He shook his head but she was a gentle girl most of the time.  The ghost saw them and faded out.  But now he knew what it looked like so he'd have to look it up later.

"It's just a kid.  Think it was a disappointed one?" she asked quietly.

"Could be."  He walked her back out to the rides, letting Sam take her on whatever she wanted.  It wouldn't be too much longer before they'd have to ground her to base for her own safety.  She should have some fun now.  He saw a familiar head of hair and frowned, strolling over to where the hair was.  He could've sworn he saw Faith.  He turned and found her behind him nibbling on a caramel apple.  "Sweet tooth attack?" he teased.

"Definitely.  Since Little B's got cotton candy."  She smirked.  "Dean's in the parking lot.  Why doesn't he like fairs?"

"It's more fun houses than all fairs."  He dialed him, getting a smartass answer back.  "There's no funhouse, son.  Brenda's being taken on the rides by Sammy if you wanted to help that instead of the problem."  He hung up and walked Faith back to the animals.  She stared at them then at him.  He gave her a look and subtly pointed at the ghost.

She nodded.  "We heard.  Also about the bull that's started a cult."  She took another nibble and petted a goat then walked off to find her man.  Dean was pulling Brenda off the ferris wheel and over to the crawler, which was an eight-armed wiggling, swirling ride.  The ride operator asked her a quiet question before letting her on.  Apparently she wasn't too far along for it yet.  Faith got dragged on by Sam so it was pretty cool.  An adrenaline rush without the problem and ass-kicking in the center she decided.  They came off grinning and went to find John to make him loosen up.  Faith found Bobby.  "Bull or ghost?"

"Bull.  You two?"

"Us two came because of the bull.  Papa Scruffy, Sammy, and Little B are here because of the ghost."

"That's fine.  Where's the boys hiding at this time?"

"Trying to make Papa Scruffy lighten up and giggle with Little B."  She nodded in their direction.  He looked then smirked.  "Yeah, Little B's got cravings.  They're contagious too."  He gave her an odd look.  "All slayers love sweets but she and Sammy went on a sushi eating spree last night."

"Ick.  Bait in seaweed."  He shuddered but led her over to them.  "You look nice in his shirt, Brenda."

She grinned and gave him a one-armed hug around the chest.  "Hi, Bobby.  Want a pretzel?"

"I can get my own.  John's too stingy to buy others dinner."

She laughed.  "My treat from my patrol allowance."  He shrugged and let her buy him the littlest pretzel they had so he could nibble and not make her feel awkward.  "Now, how do we solve these things?"

"There's no we in this team," Dean told her.  "House said no patrolling or anything once you tested yes on the test."

"I can guard."

"Not if there's a chance of you miscarrying," John said firmly.

She pouted at him.  "I'll take guard."

"No.  You can help Sammy with the research.  I'll do the ghost.  They can do the bull."

"It might even take artillery," Faith teased, making Brenda grin at her.  "C'mon, they got ice cream too."  They walked off together, letting the guys fuss behind Brenda's back.

"I'm not that fragile."

"No, but slayers attract trouble, Little B.  Even if she weren't who she is, they'd worry."  She sighed but nodded she understood that.  "Just think about how bad Papa Scruffy would be if Sammy or Dean was knocked up.  Dean probably wouldn't even be allowed to drive his car."

Brenda snickered.  "I can't imagine his face if that happened.  He might pass out."  She saw someone and smiled.  "That's Shea's father, isn't it?"

"I think so."  They walked that way.  "Hi, Shea's dad."  He spun, looking at the girls then smiling.  "Bobby, Papa Scruffy, and the terror boys are back by the pretzels nibbling and making fussy plans."

"Thanks, girls.  Having fun?"

"Lots and tons," Faith said dryly.  "Dean's a regular laugh riot in the car."  Brenda gave her an elbow to the ribs.  "He can be."

She smirked.  "You should distract him more often if he's not having fun."

"Tried that.  We nearly wrecked.  Then he would've freaked out."  She walked her off.  "We'll see you guys after a few more rides."

"Sure," he agreed, watching them walk off together before turning to find Sam there.  "Following them?"

"Slayers get into all sorts of trouble," he said grimly.  "Last night Brenda got between two transvestites fighting over a purse and got them to the point where they were explaining crossdressing to her instead of fighting.  Should've heard dad scream," he muttered.  Shea's father laughed.  "We're making plans to keep Brenda out of trouble if you wanted to help."

"I wouldn't mind."  He followed him back then Sammy jogged off to find the slayers and shadow them for a bit.  He nodded politely at Bobby and John.  "The girls looked happy."

"They are," Dean agreed.  "Brenda's feeling spoiled and she's complaining about it.  We're trying really hard not to let her get into too much trouble."

"That's good.  Girls in her state are usually a bit more picky."

"Sammy deals with that," Dean told him.  "Until it's mine, I can make grossed out faces at odd foods."  John shuddered.  "Sushi's not that bad, Dad."

"Bull."  He shook his fellow hunter's hand.  "Which one brought you?"

"Bull.  They got a girl from our neck of the woods.  You, Bobby?"

"Same.  John and the two young'nes are here for the ghost."

"Suicide a few years back but no one knows where they buried the body," he told John.

"Makes sense.  Harmful?"

"Not usually.  Only to his family's stock."  He shrugged.  "Guess they drove him to it."  He looked at Dean.  "You two since I know you two broke off?"

"The bull.  Father Philip got a head's up that there was this sort of problem and asked us to look at it."  That got a nod from John.  "He's a nice, quiet guy who likes soccer but I saw him pull down the wrath of god on a demon possessing someone.  That thing fled after one attempt."  John moaned.  "No wonder his holy water burns everyone."  Bobby moaned at that.  "Worked to cure Xander after the battle in Georgia.  Saved him really."

John nodded.  "That one blast that hit him nearly did him in."  He looked around.  "We should handle that bull while Sammy's got the girls occupied."  They nodded and headed out to deal with it.  They didn't know why the demon had possessed the bull.  They didn't really care why it had possessed the bull and had started a cult of people for the demon to impregnate with demon spawn.  All they wanted to do was to stop it.  Dean tried shooting it but no luck.  It panicked the minions but still no luck.  They tried the special colt.  Nothing.  Dean finally got into the trunk and got a smaller piece of artillery, blowing the cow and part of the field up.  That worked.  The minions all wailed and gathered parts but they left before anyone could find them.  They went back to the fair, finding two impatient, foot-tapping slayers, and one scared little brother.  "It's all good," John said.

"The ghost was buried out back in the woods," Sam said.  "He was tormenting his brother and he showed them.  He's gone."  That got a clap on the shoulder from John.

"I dug," Brenda complained, getting a hug for it.  "Thank you, John."  She smiled at Shea's father.  "We're going back to base in about two weeks.  Are you coming to visit soon?"

"Probably.  One of the girls wrote to me to say Shea had a boyfriend she was sneaking around to meet."

"Which one narked?" Dean asked.

"Stuaranna?"

"Hmm, messy, slightly MPD slayer," Sam said with a grimace.  "Starting to hoard things too."

"I saw her room," John admitted.  "Jethro sent a text message that he had done a cleanliness inspection but I could do a contraband one when I got back."  They all smirked at that.

"Don't look at me, I only sent D porn and stuff," Faith said dryly.  John spluttered.  She shrugged.  "She's dateless.  It's kinder than making her worry about living on campus this fall.  We definitely don't want her to go party-girl like B did her first semester."

"One of the other girls wrote about the caveman beer and could we find the herbs for some of the bullies that liked to drink in town," Sam said, smirking at her.  "She asked if we could age clause charm it too so they'd only get the bad boys who were drinking underage."

"Which one asked for that?" John demanded.  "None of the girls have said anything about bullies to me."

Brenda burped.  "Sorry.  I took care of all the bully problems all the girls were having."  She smiled.  "The tenth grader picking on Anna was not happy to see me after he didn't stop when she broke his finger."  She strolled off.  "Are we staying for the animal judging tomorrow?  If not, I want to ride on the rides again."

"Sure," Dean agreed, following with Sam.  Bobby followed to, shaking his head slightly.

"She did really good threatening without having to break bones," Faith told him with a happy grin.  "The only ones she didn't get were the magical ones D got.  Not too many bullies around us after that.  They protected their yearmates too."   She strolled off to catch up to the other young ones.

John looked at Shea's father.  "They're not really that bad, most of the time."  He laughed, clapping him on the arm.  "How's her training going?"

"She's got the points that she needs to learn.  He's had some of the other senior girls in to work with her and a few of the watchers.   They're going out this weekend."

"Good."  He pointed.  "We should follow."

"You're babying Brenda that much?"

"Last night she ended up stopping a trannie brawl over a purse, Doug."  That got a laugh.  "Honestly.  She's drawn to trouble, like all the other girls.  Just like Shea stopped that one boy picking on his brother because he was saying he was going to beat him then hand him to someone as his boyfriend that one time when she was eight."

"Oh, I remember.  She told the parents what they had been saying and that it was gross.  They got beaten pretty badly for it and she wailed all night about being grounded to her room."  They walked off to catch up.  "Does the training stop that?"

"Helps 'em deal with it when they jump in.  We try to teach them caution but they're mostly late teenage girls."  That got a nod of understanding.  "Didn't you get to meet Buffy at the devil's gate?"

"I did.  She seemed nice enough.  Bit of an airhead now and then."

"It's slightly a persona.  Now and then it's not, but mostly she tries to keep a good head on her shoulders.  She and Faith are very different."  That got a nod.  Faith was tickling Sammy until he begged, no matter how much Dean was trying to pull her off him.  "Faith," he complained.

She looked over at him, tossing her hair back over her shoulder.  "He was saying stupid shit to the baby again."  She walked over him, leaving him panting on the ground.  "C'mon, Little B.  We'll make sure the baby only hears good stuff so it'll grow up smarter'n Xander."

"I wouldn't mind if she turned out like Xander.  He's a good guy," she complained.

"Yeah but he could've done better in school."

Brenda nudged her.  "She'll do whatever she wants to in school and we'll make her try her best.  Not everyone is meant for school.  Or so you said you weren't."

"I wasn't but that niece of mine is going to college," she said dryly.  "Crissy's too.  That way they get what we didn't."

Brenda beamed at her.  "I like that idea.  I'll have to start a college fund."  They linked arms and walked off.  "Wesley can help me with that probably.  He's got some money invested."

"Slayers get to go to college on the council's dime," Dean reminded them patiently.  "Even you two if you want."

"No thanks," Faith said.  "I'm happy enough with how I am."

Brenda smiled.  "Maybe vo-tech for business stuff."  She pulled him up to walk with them.  "We need a roller coaster."

"We'd have to steal you from Dad for that," Dean said with a wicked grin.  She beamed and glanced back.  John was saying something mean to Sam about Faith picking on him.  They fled the fair and went to find a real amusement park.  Dean was nice enough to sneak Sam out when they found him in the parking lot looking for them.  The girls got the back seat.  Sammy got his usual spot in the front.  And they were off to play and be young adults for a few days of freedom before going back to base.

John shook his head.  "They'd better watch themselves," he said dryly.

Doug patted him on the arm.  "They'll be fine.  Your boys have sense."  John smiled at that compliment.  Bobby laughed.  "Don't they?"

"Probably.  As long as they're not out with Xander getting into trouble.  He still getting letters from the people over that game?"

"They wanted him to come back and win their current round since no one could," John sighed, shaking his head as he looked down.  "Daniel said he couldn't.  He'd send Tony this time."  Bobby snickered.  "We're doing pretty good."  He smirked at him.  "Where are you two going after this?"

"Home," they said together.

"But I'll be out soon to check on Shea," Doug promised.

"Show up whenever you like.  Nothing much changes around the base."  They shared a look.  "They're teenage girls, Doug.  I'm just glad I got them to quit panty raiding the agents."  Doug gave him a horrified look.  "Exactly."  He walked off.  "Call first and I'll make sure the motel in town has room or you can have the boys' pull out."  Bobby waved then followed.  "Where do you think they went?"

"Probably to give the girls some fun.  Dean'll check in later.  He's like that."

"I know.   That's because he used to sneak off to meet with half the girls in town and I had to keep track of which daddy we needed to avoid."  Bobby laughed at that.  "Didn't I?"

"Definitely."   He looked around.  "Motel?"

"Yup."  That got a nod and they went back to the motel to drink some beer, catch up without the kids interrupting and give John a chance to talk Bobby into becoming a watcher.  The girls could use some more level-headed people in their lives.  Look at all the wonders Jethro had done since he had signed on.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: News of the Worlds.

Kim looked at the messy bulletin board they had in the slayer dorm, frowning.  "How can anyone find anything on here?" she complained.  She started to pull down old notices and toss them into the recycling box.  Wesley came out to stop her.  "That's a patrol rotation schedule from last month, Wesley."

"Someone still has to keep track of the past ones so we don't overwork any of you."

"You know what?  We need a simpler way of getting stuff put out for our attention.  I can't find anything on this."  She walked off.  "Sasha!" she yelled.  She came jogging down the stairs.  "We've *got* to find a simpler way of spreading slayer news."

"A newsletter?" she suggested.  Kim beamed and nodded.  "We can do one in email or print format.  It's not that hard."  They went to the bulletin board to find the current news and sat down at the slayer computers to make one up.  It was about three pages long once they got the good gossip on it.  Then they emailed it to all the girls.  "There.  That works."

Wesley came out to stare at them.  "What did you two just do?"

"Slayer newsletter," they said together then grinned at him.

"That way no one has to wonder about anything.  We all hear all the good news and gossip, and everyone gets a copy of the patrol rotation for the month."  Wesley sighed, walking off shaking his head.  "He'll get used to it," Sasha said with a grin.

"Of course he will.  It'll ease a few problems he has with the bulletin board too."  They shrugged and went to see if they had missed any good news or gossip.  And what was going on for the next week so they could put out another edition.

***

Buffy opened her email at the beep since she was browsing something.  "Slayer newsletter?  That's handy."  She opened it and settled in to read, smiling at it.  She printed it out for the others, putting it where they'd read it - on the fridge door.  Then she went to dismantle their horrible bulletin board system.  Giles scowled.  "The girls on base are putting out a newsletter that has most of this stuff in a more compact and cuter form.  This way we don't have to hunt and miss news."  She left the essentials there - the patrol rotation for the local patrols, important numbers, the menus from the takeout places, and Anna's cleaning solutions for various problems.   "We need to bind those so all the other houses get copies."  She went to find someone who knew computers in their house.  "Hey, Kyara.  Can you make copies of Anna's cleaning recipes so they go to the other houses too?  I'm sure it'd be appreciated.  Also, some of the girls on base have created a newsletter so we don't miss good news and stuff on the bulletin board."

"That's cool.  It on the messy thing?"

"Fridge.  That way it doesn't get lost."  They shared a smirk and that one went to put the cleaning recipes onto the computer so she could send them to the other slayer houses.  Giles was reading the newsletter with a frown.  Buffy gave him a hug.  "It's easier for us to find everything and only takes a minute, Giles."  She got around him to get an apple to snack on.  "Kyara's sending the cleaning stuff around to the other houses too."

He rolled his eyes.  "Those machines are dreadful wastes of time."

Kyara looked at him.  "The one in India sent a very nice thank you.  They had no idea how to get the purple mottled slime out of their shirts after taking on an elephant demon last week."  She went back to it.  "Maybe we should print a helpful tips and hints manual for the girls going overseas."

"If you want to, go ahead," Buffy agreed cheerfully.  That got a grin and she emailed the other two about how to best do that.  They got together on it.  Their watchers would be very proud of them for it.  Buffy bounced off to the backyard.  They were moving soon!  She had already packed and was overseeing the weapons being moved later on.  She was so stoked!  She'd get to share a bathroom with *two* girls instead of *seven*!

Giles went mumbling back to his office to call Wesley and complain.  Wesley told him it was helpful and did reach the other girls very quickly so it was a good idea.  Since the girls had taken the initiative on themselves, it wasn't that bad of an idea.  Less work for them posting some things.  Plus they could make sure each and every girl got to see the patrol rotation.  No more cries of 'but I didn't see it, you covered it up with something else' ever again.

***

Xander looked at the new email that hit his desk, smiling as he opened it to read it.  "Good work," he decided, typing that back to the girls.  He could approve that format and it was helpful.  One of the other girls sent him one that they were making a useful hints manual for the girls being assigned off base.  He smiled and added his own suggestions, including a great cocoa recipe and a few others the girls could use.  Since most of them couldn't cook.  He sent an email to Abby about that, letting her figure out how to get them cooking lessons somehow.  Just the basics so they didn't starve when they were assigned.  She sent back a squeal over the newsletter and manuals so it was happy times in the lab too.  Or Rodney was in and she was having a *really* happy day.  He looked around.  Then shrugged.  No Sheppard so maybe not.  He got back to work, pleased with the ideas his girls had.  He sent an email to the flower shop in town to congratulate them with a treat and a few flowers.  They'd appreciate that since they were girly girls.

***

John opened his email, reading over the newsletter slowly.  Then he smiled and nodded.  "That'll work.  Good job, girls," he muttered, going to the next email.

Brenda came out of the bathroom and sat down beside him to read over his shoulder.  "Which girl did what this time?"  He let her see the newsletter, earning a grin.  "Aww, that's wonderful!"  She sent back her own thanks email and went to get Sam and Dean out of their respective beds.  They were on their way back.  "Guys, a few of the girls made a slayer-wide newsletter."  Dean moaned but got up to read it, smiling at the happy news.  "Now we can keep updated no matter which slayer house we're in."  She winked at Faith.  "It has gossip too.  Shea's in deep because they caught her making out with her boyfriend.  Xander didn't ride her about it, just said 'you're a young lady, don't let us catch you in the middle of it' and left it there."  Faith got up to read over Dean's shoulder, giggling at some of the news.  She went to get up Sam.  "A few of the girls on base started a newsletter."

Sam checked his email, smiling at it.  "We'll have to add to it about what we did on the trip."  Brenda squealed and went to write up a report for the next issue.  Sam smiled at her back and wrote up his own report for it.  That way they had a few others.  He called Dean's phone.  "Have you and Faith written up something for the next issue on your trip?"  He hung up at the growl and went back to his research.  Something big was due to happen soon and no one knew a thing about what.  It was getting creepy that even over this distance he was getting Xander's odd dreams about a base assault.  Someday they'd have to do something about that link.  They really would.

***

Rodney McKay opened his email after the next data burst, frowning at his pile of emails.  He sighed, opening one from the girls.  They kept him apprised of any important news.  He nearly smiled at the newsletter that they had sent.  "That's a good idea," he mumbled into his current cup of coffee.  Sheppard came over to where he was working to read over his shoulder.  "The girls are starting a newsletter."

"Cool."  He read, smiling at some of the gossip going on.  "Sounds like things are pretty normal. Though, Xander's Spanking List, that's not the best name for the punishment list."

"He probably threatened them with it again."  He waved a hand. "You probably have your own copy.  If not, Tiff surely does."

"Good point."  He went to find her.  "Check your email.  Some of the girls on base have started a newsletter."  She squealed and went to do that.  He followed with a smile.  He waved at one of the soldiers.  "The slayers have a new newsletter."

"News from home then."  He gave the young slayer a fond grin.  They loved her on base.  She had changed a lot from the angry thing that had first shown up.  Teyla was teaching the girl a lot and Ronon was turning her into a bigger threat and weapon's nut.  One day soon she'd have dreadlocks and a uniform.

Tiff wrote something for the next issue, handing it to John with a sheepish look.  "Can you proofread it for me?"

"Of course."  He read it over, nodding.  "Can't say that.  It's still classified."  She took out that sentence and he only had to correct some grammar.  "Good job."  She beamed and sent it then they went to work on the next trip's plan.  Of course, they'd screw it up.  They were SGA-1.  Nothing went as planned for them.  The only way it'd go less as planned was if Xander joined the team and no one was going to do that to him.  He'd quit first.  She gave him a hug around his arm.  "What?"

"You're thinking bad thoughts about Xander coming up to make our lives more interesting again."

"I was," he admitted, shaking his head.  "That's still a bad thought."

"You saw they got a real arms master again?"  He nodded.  "Some of the tween witches in LA had to save him.  I recognized the name.  He's a former covert agent."

"Ooooh.  Hiding?"

"From what Fred said, they had to save him because he was the debt demanded by someone the US screwed wrong."  He groaned.  "So the tween witch coven saved him and then cooed at him until he ran away.  Angel had to save him from them."  He laughed.  "That's why he's on base."

"It's a good spot for him.  Wonder if he gets along well with Jackson."

"Now they have someone who can go save Xander when he does the next thing that makes Ronon have happy thoughts."

He swatted her gently but he was laughing too hard to say anything.  They found the scans that had been taken from the newest planet.  It was a pretty world.  Which meant it was deadly.  Of course.

***

Daniel walked into the detective's area.  "Guys, the newsletter looks very good."  Xander grinned at that.  "The ones out and about can write all sorts of stuff for it for next month."

"They said they can do that and just edit it," Xander assured him.  "Everyone so far likes it.  Even John."

"Rupert?"

"He thinks computers are a sign that evil has won," he said dryly.

"Oh.  Okay then."  He got some coffee.  "Anything coming up on a case?"  Xander printed his report and held it up.  "Thank you, Xander."  He flipped through it.  "Is there a YouTube video that'll get you spanked again?"

"Better not be since I went alone," he said dryly.

"If it's that bad, Dawn has said she can tape scrying," Speed offered with a grin.  Daniel tossed it at him.  He called Dawn.  "Can you check his last one to tape it?"  He hung up and tossed it at Xander's head.  "No more doing that, Xander.  You worry us."

Xander grinned at him.  "You give some of the most sweet, yet paranoid compliments, dear."

Tim smirked back.  "Now if you had breasts, I might date you so I'd be worried more often."  Horatio and Eric choked at that.  He looked at them.  "Horatio needs to be a bit less cautious and he can have the same offer."  Calleigh and Mac snickered at that.  "Anyway.   Boss, I've got a mother of a headache on my present research case.  I hate this thing."

Xander got up to look.  "Why are they looking up Glorificus?  She can't come back for a thousand years."

"Good to know."  He went into that old file and looked it over.  It matched in most ways so he took it to Thomas to let him look it over.  "Xander thinks it's Glorificus but has no idea why they're wondering."

He frowned with distaste.  "That was not a happy part of Sunnydale history."  He looked it over.  "Not quite her.  It looks similar though."  He got up to get a book to flip through until he found it.  "Here we go."  He let him see.

Tim called upstairs.  "Hey, Xander.  It's not her, but a similar one who wants a staff.  Sure, if we need it, I'll bring the girls and artillery."  He hung up and gathered all the research up to see why they needed it.  And talk to Wesley because stuff like that was slayer work, not agent work.

Thomas sighed, shaking his head.  "That poor town in Florida."

Horatio took it when Speed came back.  He scowled.  "That is not going to make Florida happy."

"Are we riding in on hummers or agent SUV's this time?" Eric asked as he took it to read.  "Huh.  With slayers I'm guessing?"

"If it's a current worry, yes," Tim said.  Xander looked at him. "It's her less evil twin sister."

"Fuck."

"Xander!" Calleigh complained.

"Are there crazy knights chasing someone?"

"No, not yet."

"Good!  Then Dawn won't have flashbacks of them trying to kill her."

Speed grimaced.  "I saw that mention."  He let him see.  "How did you guys kill Glory?"

"Her host.  You had to kill her host once she reverted."

Tim grimaced.  "Interesting."

"It was that or let the world end, Speed.  Buffy had died.  Dawn was traumatized.  Anya had part of the scaffolding fall on her and injure her back."  That got a nod.  "She ate Tara's sanity."  They shared a look.  "I'll back you guys up if we need to."

"We should've have to.  Can you find the artifact?"

"I can, I'm clear," Tony said.  "I have a good string of luck on finding artifacts."  Tim tossed that part at him, letting him catch it and get to work.  "Are we talking an assault?"

"Hopefully not," Xander said.  "I seriously hope it's not as serious and she's not already there.  I don't want to see another sanity sucking, Gucci wearing hell goddess after anyone."  He went back to his seat to go over the notes they had sent.  "It looks like we may be in luck and she might not be risen yet."

"We hope," Speed agreed.  They got to work and headed out once Tony found the artifact mentioned somewhere.  On the way to the small town in Florida, they called that museum to have them be on guard.  No demon was against stealing what it needed if it was powerful.  Horatio and Jack had talked for a few minutes.  Horatio came out carrying their traveling arsenal bag.  He could handle the artillery and call the girls down if they needed it.  They hoped she wasn't woken yet.  He really did.

***

Kim looked up as Sasha came bouncing into the caf that night.  "What's up?"

"The newsletter was a big success.  We've gotten a few other pieces for the next one from the slayers in other houses."  She handed them over.  "Including from the road tripping Winchester clan."  She sat down once she had a plate and stole all the food she needed before Mary could take it.  Gibbs gave her a look.  "They liked the newsletter."

"So did I."

"I'm so dead if my father sees it," Shea complained.

"He's not a slayer," Kim pointed out with a grin.  Then she went back to reading them.  "We got one from Tiff?"

"Yup, sure did.   She says at the bottom that it had been proofread and approved by Sheppard."  That got a mean smirk back.  "So, how often do we want to do this?"

"Let's put out a supplemental one immediately and then say once a week?"

"That works for me."  They beamed at each other and hurried their dinners to go back to their happy-making project.

Xander looked over as he walked in to dinner.  "Good job, girls."

Kim pounced him for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Thank you for the carnations, Xander.  That and the candy were very nice.  We've got news from the other houses so we're putting out a supplemental issue."  She ran off after Sasha gave Xander her own hug and kiss on the cheek.

Xander walked to his seat grinning.  "Anything from Horatio's team yet, Boss?"

"They've landed.  She is awake.  He's calling Wesley later."

Xander looked at him.  Then shook his head.  "Wes, we have Glory's insaner half-sister up and around in northern Florida."  Dawn choked.  "Not after you, Dawnie.  This one wants a staff."

"Is it in someone?"

"No.  It's in a museum in Miami."  He grinned.  "Which they've already handled.  Wes?"

"We should send one of the senior girls."

"Buffy will have flashbacks," he said quietly, sitting next to him.  "Faith won't be back by then.  It's a sink or swim but we do have two others who are in senior training."

Shea looked down at him.  "One of which has very good hearing.  If Faith gets back before we go?"

"She'll go with you."

She nodded with a small sigh.  "I can see those reasons."  She finished up and got seconds.  "I'll probably need it.  I can't stand Cuban food.  Gives me gas," she muttered at one girl's amused look.  Xander patted her on the back.  "Who'm I bringing?"

"Pick a team."

She considered it.  Then nodded.  "Okay."  She looked around.  "I'd take Anna for her sneaky mind but she's too young.  Taylor, Sturanna, Gwen, and that strawberry blonde that went with her that I can't remember the name of?"

"That's not a bad team," Wesley agreed.  He reached around to pat her on the back of the head.  "You'll be safe?"

"Of course."

"Good," Xander agreed.  "I'll alert them."  He leaned down next to her ear.  "I know you're ready and you can do this, Shea.  If Faith was back, I'd send her with your team."  She looked up at him.  "Buffy died to save the rest of us with the last one."

"I understand that decision.  She'd be in more danger from the flashbacks."  Xander nodded.  "I'll pack tonight."

"Good girl.  Let me get the rest."

"Gwen left already," Dawn pointed out.  "I'll get her back in a few hours."

"Let me call," Xander said, taking his dinner to go to the office tonight.  He called there.  "Gwen, Shea's being senior slayer on a call over here in Florida.  We have Glory's crack-smoking, insaner sister down there looking for her staff for the same reason Glory wanted Dawn.  You and Brigit."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Dawn will.  Let her finish dinner."  He hung up and sent her a text message.  Then he went to tell Sasha.  "Wait until the next issue to talk about the sitch in Florida.  You can put a bad guy of the newsletter section in."  They stared at him.  "Hell goddess in Florida."  They groaned.  "Shea's going as senior."

"She can do it," Sasha agreed.  "She's worked her tail off to get there."  Xander nodded.  "Does that mean she can hit New York if she survives?"

"Yuppers.  And I'm probably going to be heading too."  He smirked and went to call Horatio.  "Do you need me and slayers or just five slayers?  You're getting Shea as senior and her picked team, Horatio.  Do you need me too?  Dawn will tonight.  They're finishing dinner and packing now."  He smirked.  "Do you think you can?  You will have to take out her host or she can come back.  I know that.  That's what I'm asking, Horatio."  He nodded.  "Okay.  That's your call.  If you need me, yell and I'll be down at Dawnie speed."  He grinned.  "They'll save it for the next newsletter.  Because Buffy died fighting Glory, Horatio.  Her flashbacks won't do anyone any good and Faith's still roadtripping.  They're not due back for a few days at the least.

"Shea had been working her ass off to get up to senior slayer standards.  I trust her to be able to handle it.  Yes I do.  I have full confidence.  Because I'm not sure one of you can shoot the host," he said grimly.  "It'll probably be human if she's at all like Glory was."  He nodded.  "Exactly.  That's why I'm offering.  Okay, if you need me, yell."  He hung up.  Speed sent Dawn a picture.  She gathered the others once they had packed and sent them down to handle it, giving them all hugs on the way.  Xander stopped Shea.  "If you need more help...."

"I'll scream," she agreed.  He nodded at that.  "And I won't pull a Buffy either.  I know I'm mortal and I won't come back like she does."  Dawn snorted, giving her an extra long hug.  "Not to hurt or anything, Dawn."

"We all call her an undead yo-yo."  That got a smile and Shea walked through.  "Weapons?"

"Got 'em," Xander said, tossing the bag over.  The portal closed once Gwen caught it.  He leaned on Dawn.  "I should be there."

She gave him a hug.  "You'd have flashbacks too, Xander."  He looked down at her.  "You will."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Should I tell Buffy?"

"No.  I will once it's done.  She'll scream at me."  That got a nod.  "But she'll listen to sense once it's over with."  He went to make his reports.  It was for the good of the slayers that he not send a damaged one into battle.  He had to keep reminding himself of that.

"Command sucks sometimes," Jack said from the armory doorway.

Xander looked at him.  "Majorly.  I should've sent Buffy but she'd have flashbacks and it won't help the others."

"Shea's good, Xander.  She may not be Buffy, she may not be Faith, but each slayer is their own legend as you told me."

He nodded.  "Let's hope she doesn't have that over-confidence issue she likes now and then."

"She won't.  They've studied what happened with Glory."  He smirked.  "I sent Horatio with a lot of artillery if they needed it."

"I sent my axe.  It was at the last hell god we fought.  It was at the one before then.  It should be at this time."  That got a nod and a small smirk.  "Anyway, how's the armory going?  Need anything ordered or found?  I have an arms dealing case I'm going to bust sometime soon and you know you'll get to confiscate and count."

Jack laughed.  "We'll see what you pick up, kid."  He went to get dinner and eat at his apartment.  The girls were a bit...cheerful for his tastes.  And they pinched!  Especially Mary.  He wasn't going to get used to that anytime soon.

***

Xander was talking to his contact in LA when Buffy landed next to him and took a swing at him.  "What!" he demanded, ducking and pushing her against the wall to hold her there.  She struggled but he had her pinned very well.  "What's eaten your brain this time?" he demanded.

"You skipped me over!  I'm the senior slayer!  I should be at the hell god in Miami!" she shouted while struggling.

He made her look at him.  "Buffy, I didn't want to see you die when you froze during a flashback."  She went limp to stare at him.  He stared back.  "You can't tell me every damn last one of us at that battle won't flash back to that," he said more quietly.  She sniffed.  "I did it to protect you.  That is not how you want to deal with the issue that still gives you nightmares," he said quietly.  "Shea's good.  She can handle it.  I trained the girl myself to be as good as you and Faith."

She nodded so he let her go.  "She's good."

"How did you hear?"

"The news.  They took her down earlier."  She wiped her cheeks off.  "You really think I'll have flashbacks during the battle?"

"You did in Georgia.  You still have nightmares about it," he said gently.  He gave her a hug.  "I thought about it but I'm not going to send you to die because you're reliving a bad time."  He pulled back.  "The same as I'd never send you to hunt down one of your crew that got turned."

She nodded.  "I can understand that.  Does anyone else know?"

"Wes and I talked.  I did not tell Giles.  I would've sent Faith to help Shea but she was still on her trip."

She nodded, straightening up again.  "You're right.  I would've had nightmares and all that stuff."

He grinned.  "It's good that you recognize that I have an all-knowing streak now and then."

"All knowing butt," she teased, giving him a shove.  "Why didn't you explain it to me?"

"Because you'd scream at me and go try to help."

"Good point."

"Are they okay?"

"Banged up pretty well.   Shea's got a broken leg now.  Pretty artillery work but they're all alive."  He grinned.  "I'll go baby them."

He stroked her cheek with a grin.  "That's what a senior slayer does.  She'll do fine handling New York."

"She's got the start of a good rep now."  She called Dawn.  "I'm calmer.  Thank you."  She smiled at Xander's contact.  "Be safe, Xander.  Need help?"

"Influx of weapons.  Our yearly big bust of them."

She snorted.  "Why was your axe there?"

"It was there for the last few gods, it should be with this god," he said dryly.  "Even if I wasn't."

She nodded.  "It gets nearly as much work as the scythes do."  Dawn created a portal and she went back to base to talk to her sister.  She needed the comfort and there wasn't any ice cream at Cleveland anyway.

Xander looked at his contact.  "We skipped her name for the thing in Florida."

That got a nod.  "You're a brave man, Harris."

Xander grinned.  "Somewhere I've got a picture of her in a green face mask and puppy jammies," he said happily.

The demon gave him an awed look.  "Brave and kinda dumb," he decided.

"Some days.  So anyway, my weapons?  Because our new armory master is looking forward to this bust."

"It's not like last year."

Xander looked at him.  "That's probably a good thing since I only brought me.  I'd hate to have to load that many weapons."

The demon laughed.  "C'mon.  We'll show you where they're hiding them.  Speaking of, I think some of his former people are looking them over."

"I'll warn him.  We can do disguise spells if we must," he said cheerfully.  "More guns to clean.  Artillery to pet.  It's a good day."

The demon shook his head.  Didn't the slayers have a rule about not being too happy with a situation because it'd make it worse?

***

Rodney McKay glared at his computer when it dared to beep at him.  "What!" he snarled.  He rolled his chair over to look at it, finding the new email icon.  He scowled at it since it came from the base.  Not from his Abby, but from one of the girls.  "Not another newsletter," he moaned.  He got into the short message and attached file.  He downloaded it and played it then groaned and banged his head on the table.  He got into the communication system.  "Colonel, could you and your protégé of destruction come to the lab please?" he asked.  To his hearing he sounded a bit strangled.  Sheppard came jogging in.  "One of the girls sent Ronon new mental porn to drool on."  He got out of the way, rolling his chair back to his workstation.  He had real work to do and didn't have time to rewatch that idiot nearly get himself killed again.

Tiff stared.  "There's another one, Rodney.  This one is about the hell god n Florida.  Can we open it?" she asked.  He hummed and waved a hand.  She got into it, wincing when she saw what was going on.  "I wonder if Glory was that bad," she hissed.  "Poor Shea.  She won't be able to ride her motorcycle for weeks."

John looked at her.  "That's happened before?"

"Buffy died stopping Glorificus from opening portals to suck her world onto ours.  Usually it's the other way around so they complained and joked that she broke the stereotype but yeah.  She dove off a high platform to close the portals.  Plus we count the First Evil as a Hell God and probably the one in Georgia too if we're honest."

John whimpered.  "Stay here where it's sane?"

She grinned.  "I love your sanity too, John."  She went back to watching both videos.  "That's Xander's axe."  The message explained why, making her giggle.  She called Sam Carter from her office to come see.  "Hell god in Florida.  Shea went as senior."

She pulled a chair over to watch, whimpering.  "That's bad.  Is that Xander's axe?"  Tiff let her see that message, earning a smile.  "I guess it might be good luck with as many gods as it's faced."  Rodney gave her a horrified look, nearly dropping what he was working on.  "Xander sent his battle axe with the slayers because it had faced Glory and the First Evil in battle so therefore it should face this newest hell god intent on destroying the planet."

He stared.  "Are you all warped!" he shouted.  "That's an incredibly juvenile idea!  You need real weapons for that!  Not a ...a...battle axe!"  He waved a hand around.  "That's incredibly stupid!"

"Xander and John, and I guess the new guy, make all the slayer weapons," Tiff told him.

Rodney whimpered.  "Dear Lord, we're all going to die."

John patted him on the back.  "That's why there's slayers.  Just think about how much they can get through with swords and stakes."  Rodney gave him a horrified look.  "I'd like to see what they could do with a zat."

"Doesn't work on most demons," Sam told him.  "Daniel asked," she said at the unamused look both men shot her.  She grinned back.  "What's the one behind this one?"

"Xander was on his usual yearly gun dealing mega case."  Tiff let it rerun, making Sam whimper.  "I figure Amber sent it up to us so Ronon can drool on it."

Sam gave her a hug.  "Maybe."  She took the laptop with her.  "I'll bring it back once I have those downloaded, Rodney."  She found Teyla.  "New Xander videos and the slayers down there facing a god in Miami."

Teyla frowned but followed to see.  That Xander guy was a strange creature.  "It's a good thing more humans aren't like him."

Sam grinned.  "We'd go insane."

"I figured you would.  We could use some of them to hunt for the clans, but he is clearly touched by some God that is not a good one for everyone."  Sam laughed at that, nodding.  Teyla got Ronon in there to watch them.  He came in and grunted inquisitively since he was pulling back his dreadlocks and had something in his mouth to hold it together.  "Xander did something else that was brave, yet incredibly stupid and the slayers down there faced down a god."

"Really?"  He moved to see the small screen, letting Sam put it onto a bigger one.  He stared.   "He would make an excellent runner."  Teyla patted him on the arm.  "He might have helped destroy all the wraith by now if we had him."

"No.  Way.  In.  Hell," Sam said firmly.  "We'd have to put him on your team.  Sheppard said no."

Ronon looked at her.  "Why torture us that way?  I can't live up to that standard.  It's fun to watch though."

"I still think some mentally challenging God touched him at one point in his life," Teyla told him.  They switched videos.  "They do not have the weapons we do?"

"Is that Harris' axe?" Ronon asked.  He'd seen him using it before in some of the other videos that had gotten sent to their resident slayer.

"He said it was with the last few gods they fought so it should be at this one," Sam told him.

"Ah.  Does it hold special powers?"

"Nope."

"Interesting."

"Sentimental," Teyla corrected.  "It gives the young hope that they can withstand like he has.  Like any heirloom weapon."  Ronon nodded, understanding that.  They both shook their heads.  "That was not pretty."

"No, it wasn't," Ronon said.  "They need help."

"They sent a slayer team once they found out she had been awakened," Sam told him.

"Five young girls is nothing.  Even if they are like Tiff."

"She is a strong girl," Teyla agreed. "Even five of her should not face something that bad."

"We save the full slayer corps for the really bad things," Sam told them.  "Like the one I got called to earlier this year in Georgia."  They both looked confused.  "You guys didn't see that?"  They shook their heads so she pulled up the video she had been sent by Jack and Daniel to let them see.  Ronon shuddered and Teyla was nearly paranoid by the end.  "We save the full slayer corps for the bigger things," she said gently, patting Ronon on the arm.  "If the five in Miami hadn't been able to handle it, they would've gotten more."

"Good!"  He shook his head.  "They're all insane."

"They're the defense from the bad things taking over."  She smiled.  "If we could get you into DCIS as an agent, Xander's looking for a new team."

"Did the last one die or retire to more sane cases?" Teyla asked.

"Retired to more sane cases."

Ronon nodded.  "As would I after a while."

"He only does it every few months."

Ronon looked at her.  "We see much insanity up here with the wraith and the locals."

"Xander is not coming up here," John shouted as he came up the stairs.

"No, he should not.  They need his special brand of insanity down there," Teyla agreed.  John smiled.  "Though, Sam did say that Ronon could join his team down there."

"I'd have to retire to less insanity and you couldn't kill everything that was dangerous," Ronon told her.  "Less good for the world."  He shrugged and walked off to get some air and thank his gods that he wasn't like that.  He admired the young man.  He admired his strength and his skills, how he managed to get out of things, but he did not want to be on the same team as him.  They might all have to learn to be like him and get McKay out of too many more bad things.  After all, Sheppard and McKay got into bad things.  Xander got into more bad things.  That would really screw with their bad situation ratio and they'd probably end up destroying planets again.

John watched the one in Georgia, shuddering.  "You still having nightmares, Sam?"

"I'm good," she promised, turning it off.  "They wanted to know why they only sent five slayers to handle the hell god."

"The first one only had one," he told Teyla.  "She ended up dying to save everyone."  That got a nod.  "Then they brought her back and loosened the second one."  Sam nodded at that.  "How did Buffy take it?  Tiff wanted to know."

"Don't know.  It might be in the next newsletter."   That got a smile and a nod.  "Think Ronon's over his hero worship?"

"I believe he now sees that he would have to learn how to get out of situations without weapons more often should he come up," Teyla said, going to check on him.  She found him on a terrace and patted him on the back.  "It will be fine."

He looked at her.  "He does it without weapons."

"As you are, his body and mind are as much a weapon as his gun and axe."

"Good point.  Still, if we get into the most trouble now and he comes here, the universe would not be safe."

She nodded.  "That is why he's staying down there."

"Good!"  He smirked at her.  "Think about how hard it would be to rescue McKay if he got dragged into those situations?"  She laughed.  He went to get something to eat and then work out.  Tiff bounced in to help him so he let her.  She was a decent enough warrior but he wanted to test himself against the senior girls down there.  See why they were nearly legends on that one planet with that temple.

***

Daniel looked up as House stomped into his office.  "Xander back to being unconscious or is he pouting?"

"I sedated him.  I know he'll sneak out if I don't."

"I sent the tape of it to some others who enjoy his exploits."  They shared a smirk.  "Abby's boyfriend should be writing her soon."

"He already did.  Moaning about Xander taking over the universe."  He sat down.  "When is my new place going to be done?"

"Two more weeks.  They've got to install the kitchen, the bathroom, and paint it on you."

"Can I go check it out?"

"You can.  I was going to."  They went to look over the workmen's shoulders.  Daniel smiled, shaking the contractor's hand.  "This is Doctor House.  His is the one with the special tub."

"Special tub?"  Daniel moaned, pulling out the plans to point at it.  "Oh!"  He nodded.  "I'm not sure if that's up there yet or not.  We've been working on this area for the last day."  That got a nod from House.  "The stairs and elevators work, Doctor, if you wanted to check it out."

"Thanks."  He went that way with Daniel.  "They seem pleasant.  Are they planting explosives?"

"If so, they're going to get Xander and both Jacks in their faces," Daniel said quietly, cracking House up.  "You know they will."

"I know."  They found House's apartment and walked in.  Daniel frowned, going to get the construction foreman.  House frowned at the normal tub that was sitting in the middle of the floor.  "Still not that deep."  He looked over as Daniel came in.  "These aren't even deep enough to soak."

"Which was not what we ordered," Daniel agreed.  He called Tony to get the order forms for him so they could fix it.  House's tub was in one of the downstairs apartments.  They went down to look at it.  It was nice.  Insulated.  "Didn't we plan to put you on the first floor anyway, House?"

"We did," he agreed.  "I have no idea when I was going to be switched upstairs."  He tried his sliding doors.  They worked.  His bathroom was a nice size and the tub was deep and had massage jets for his bad leg.  The kitchen was functional and nice enough, like the others.  "Did they put in the extra insulation so my piano doesn't bother anyone?" he asked the foreman.

"We did," he agreed.  "We had no idea this sort of mixup happened, sir.  I know all this was supposed to be down here."

"Someone switched the apartment numbers around probably," Daniel told him.  "How long before we're finished with this building?"

"If we have to get the new tubs?  Could be a few extra weeks.  I have to talk to the place we got them from, Director."

"That's fine.  Let me know as soon as you know what happened."  That got a nod and he left them alone.  He looked at House.  "Well?"

"Not bad.  Color's a bit boring."

"Then have the girls on punishment paint or pick a paint color we can go buy quickly," Daniel offered.  House smirked, nodding a bit.  "Good enough?"

"Very.  Chase'll pout."

"Chase can move to one of the new ones if he wants.  I know Horatio wants to be closer to the ground too."  House went to check his bedroom.  He heard the laugh and walked in there.  "Why....  Who put chains up already?  I didn't think you lived an S&M lifestyle, House."

"I don't," he said through a laugh.  "I hope that was one of the girls."  Daniel went to ask, coming back with a horrified foreman.  "Just take them down and put them in the closet for me.  I can use them to torment someone later."

"You can use them on Xander and the slayers to keep them in the infirmary when you need them to stay," Daniel offered with a grin.  The foreman took them down and tossed them into the linen closet then went to ask his people how that had happened.  Daniel and House shared a smirk then they went to deal with the rest of the construction while House checked the new therapeutic equipment before going to tie Xander to his infirmary bed.  Someday soon he'd have to name that bed as just being Xander's.

Jack Bauer came out of the armory when he saw Daniel, handing over a list.  "The stuff Xander got sent back to us.  LA ATF has another six crates they want to know what we have plans for."

"Count, confiscate anything useful like new agent guns or artillery for our apocalypse closet, and then destroy the rest."

"That's what I suggested.  They're horrified we have an actual apocalypse closet.  I told them what channel to turn their office tv to.  They are not happy with Florida."

"I'm not happy it happened," he admitted.  "You're the arms master, Jack.  Figure out what we need and see if it's in there."

"I can do that.  Is Xander all right?  He looked like hell when he got back."

"He's sedated in the infirmary because he tries to escape."  Jack moaned so Daniel walked him into the armory and logged into his email to pull up that video he had sent to Atlantis.  "That's why he looked like hell."

"I was considered cowboy but not even my bosses would let me get away with that.  Not even with another nuclear weapon in LA."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Does he do this often?"

"Once or twice a year."  He got into the other video, the one where he had been saving Calleigh to show him that one. "That was his last one.  O'Neill spanked him for it for me."

Jack smiled at that.  "I'd pull that."

"Xander only has memories from a possession, Jack.  He doesn't have Ranger training."

Jack looked at him.  "That's how he knows assaults?"

"Yup.  Way back in high school, a chaos sorcerer made people into their costumes."

Jack shuddered.  "I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with that before."  He reran both videos.  "I know a few agents who could work with him."

"Xander does need his own team.  We've been looking but it's a delicate mix of insanity and sanity plus Xander tends to use his team as a wall while he thinks out loud."

"I definitely know someone who can work with him.  I'll see if he's interested in changing agencies."

"Will that bust you with your former bosses?"

"Nope.  He's retired too."  He grinned.  Daniel smirked back.  "Thanks.  I needed that laugh."

"Xander does lighten the spirit during the bad times," he agreed.   "Like this or by telling bad jokes now and then during situations.  I think he cracked one in Georgia but I couldn't be sure."  He went up to his office to tell the other Jack that his apartment was running a bit behind due to a mixup with supplies.  Jack told him he was down yelling at Xander.  If he had to bootcamp that boy to make him sane and on the same page as everyone else, he'd do it.  Once he was out of the infirmary this time.  Daniel said to ask him if he wanted to learn that stuff.  If so, it was an after-hours project.  They needed Xander too much to make him give up work time.

***

John parked and got out of his truck, helping Brenda down since she had turned her ankle the night before.  Sam was back in Dean's car with him and Faith.  They pulled in right after him.  They looked around.  The base was quiet.  Way too quiet.

"Did we slip realities to one of the ones X went to that had no people?" Faith asked as she got out.

"I hope not."  He looked around.  He could hear a car.  None of the slayers but he could hear a car coming.  One of the base's SUV's parked and agents got out, heading for the main building at a run.  Chase and House came jogging out to meet the second one.  John jumped in to help, frowning at them.  "What the hell happened to you five?" he demanded.

"Hell god go boom," Shea said with a wispy grin.  "Damn we're good."

"Pass out, Shea, we've got it," Dean ordered.  She nodded and let herself go.  "Sammy, get a sit rep," he snapped.  He helped carry the girls inside, then looked at Horatio.  "What the fuck, dude?" he demanded.

Horatio cleared his throat.  "Our last team case had, as Xander put it, the insane sister to Glory coming out to get her staff."  Dean gaped.  "We went down to handle it and found out that she was awake.  Wesley and Xander sent those five with us.  Shea as the head slayer."

Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "Gone, or do we need more help?"

"Gone.  The girls got it, Dean.  They did good.  Even if she did have a minor force to protect her while she cast the spell.  This one was trying to use the staff to bring her mate here so they could prosper with all the food sources."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "We babied them all the way back.  The local hospital triage'd then sent us back immediately since they weren't sure how slayers reacted to medicines and didn't want to talk to Gregory and Chase."  He clapped him on the arm.  "We did have an assault cam going.  Also, Xander sent his battle axe.  It's in the back of my SUV.  It was beneficial in a way we all appreciated."  He looked over as John came out of the infirmary.  "Are they still all right?"

"Mostly banged up.  Why didn't he send Buffy or ask Faith to come back early?"

"Because B handled Glory and she's still got nightmares," Faith said as she joined him with Wesley.  John groaned then punched the wall.  She patted him on the arm.  "It was a good plan.  Gwen and Shea make a good team when they have to."  Jack Bauer came down to check on the girls and confiscate any and all weapons while he did a subtle check on Gwen.  He liked the plucky slayer as a mentoree.  "Jack, the assault cam up and ready?" she asked.

"Nearly.  Wolfe's got it set up in the armory.  I know it was partially on the news."

"None of us watched it in the last few days," Brenda said.  "Are they all right?"

"They're fine," John said, smiling at her.  "Wes?"

"Shea and Gwen are both senior girls.  Buffy still has flashbacks and Faith wasn't back yet, John."

"I would've shown up!" she complained.  "It's what slayers do!"

"Xander and I felt that Gwen and Shea could do just as well you could with them, Faith.  Though I did hear a rumor that Buffy has heard and nearly kicked his bum about not sending her while he was on his last case."  He smiled at her.  "They had all the proper materials and the agents behind them.  Xander sent his battle axe with them since it had been with him during the fight with Glory and the First."  She whimpered, shaking her head.

"One of the girls used it to knock out the higher demon she summoned to protect her while Gwen and Shea fired off the dual artillery assault at the God," Horatio said.  Faith whimpered again.  The watchers moaned.  "Let's go watch the cam."  They nodded, going to do that.  He leaned in.  "House, do you need more help with them?"

"We're good.  Their bags?"

"In the SUV.  They packed that morning so we wouldn't have to leave anything behind if we had to retreat and start over."  That got a grim look.  "What happened to Xander?"

"His last case.  There's video floating around."  He waved a hand.  "I want to see later.  Anyone get any poisons or things?"

"No.  None of the demons had poisoned claws or spit.  Ryan does have a good sized scratch from one that the ER down there stitched.  Calleigh and Speed both got knocked out during the battle.  Eric's mother called once she saw it on the news and nearly interrupted him fighting."

"Gotta love fussy mothers.  That's their job," Chase agreed.  "We'll be checking your team over once we have them settled."

"We'll be in the armory."  He went up to check.  "Chase said they're checking us once they're done bandaging and stitching them."  That got a nod.  Jack gave him a horrified look.  "It worked."

"Not the point."

"I did suggest we call in a few more girls," Eric said.  "Gwen said they could handle it and we could back them up like we did in Georgia."

John looked at him.  "What did Shea say?"

"That she'd like that nice priest that saved Xander to do her funeral if she died.  But that she wouldn't mind having someone like Xander behind them because he always managed to get the greater majority of them out of there.  Gwen reminded her that they had all been taught by Xander and us so they were just as good.  The younger three wanted more backup too but by then it was time and her magic was going to screw with Dawn's or endanger the base so we didn't call."

Horatio nodded.  "That was discussed that morning."

"And I thought Xander was bad," Daniel said as he walked in.  "Nice shot of your mother trying to get you to come home, Eric."

"I hung up on her twice, Daniel.  Both times she called back."

"I know.  It showed very well.  Especially you swearing about her calling right then."  He smiled.  "Let's see it."  They reran the tape so he could watch.  "You had double the people that they did when they fought Glory.  A lot more minions though.  She's gone?"

"Permanently," Horatio agreed.  "Or until she's summoned back to take someone else over but the staff was broken during the barrage."

"Good."  He frowned as he watched it.  "They do show Xander's style of breaking into a situation.  That's the formation he usually plans with."  Jack gave him an odd look.  "It was the same way when we were in LA."  He looked at John.  "Anything you can think of that might've made it go easier?"

"More slayers might've helped but if they weren't sure they could get there, we can't complain."

Dean nodded.  "They did what they could as quickly as they could.  Hell, Buffy died during the Glory thing, Anya's back got seriously injured, and Willow was knocked out too."  That got a nod.  "At least from the reports in Giles' journal."

Sam stared.  "Shea and Gwen worked well together."  The other Winchesters nodded.  "I can't find a reason to yell.  They did have research?"

"Thomas gave us what he knew about it," Horatio agreed.  "Before we left.  We were hoping they were trying to summon her instead of finding her awake and possessing someone.  When we found out our hopes were in vain, we called for slayer support."

"Then that's fine with us," John decided.  "Daniel?"

"It looked like a minor version of hell," he said, looking at Horatio.  "Take some downtime and remember we do have a base shrink if you need to use it." That got a nod.  He clapped him on the arm.  "You did good, even if you didn't want to be there, guys.  Good work."

O'Neill walked in.  "As bad as some of ours?"

"Quite.   Like against Hathor the last time."

Jack grimaced but watched it.  "Next time, call and I'll bring myself down," Jack told them.  "Jethro said the same thing when he caught it on the news."  He looked around.  "House is free for you guys."  They trudged down to the infirmary.  "Do things like Xander has to and expect to be treated like him," he called after them.

Daniel snickered.  "That's mean, Jack."

He shrugged.  "It happens."  He looked at the other Jack.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  I'll need to check the weapons, see what got used."  That got a nod.  "Is it always like that?"

"Usually only on Xander's team cases," Jack said with a grin.  "He was a bad influence on Wolfe."

Daniel swatted him.  "Even Ronon doesn't want him to show up.  He thinks Xander's sense of trouble and McKay's would combine to get their universe destroyed."

"It's possible," Jack admitted, walking off.  That was a thought that he'd need a hockey game and some beer to remove from his mind.

Jack Bauer looked around once everyone was gone.  "They're insane," he told himself.  "That's how they deal with demons every day.  They're absolutely insane."  He shook his head, calling the ATF office to get the rest of the records of the weapons and see if they had held anything out for him.  He did need to restock the apocalypse vault before the next one.  Since they seemed to happen so often.

Was that Xander's fault too?

Everything else seemed to be around there when things went wrong.

***

"Aw, geez," Xander moaned as he sat up.  "I wasn't that bad."  He sat up with a bit of help from Sam.  "I was a good boy," he promised, looking around, finding it was Sam with him.  "Are you a doc now?" he asked with a grin.

"They're at dinner."

"Good, I'm starved.  Are they back from Florida yet?"

"They are."  He pointed at the beds around him.  Xander looked then stared at him.  "They're fine.  Just banged up.  Shea's got a broken leg."  He helped Xander stand up.  "C'mon, we'll help you escape."

"Thanks, Sam.  I knew you were my friend."  They walked out together, sneaking back to their apartment building.  Xander had food and so did Sam, who could actually cook the food.  They settled in to eat together and see what had happened.  Xander looked around.  "Someone switched the furniture?"

"You did last week."

"I did?"

"You did," Sam said, looking around.

"I thought I switched it back because of the cable outlet."  Sam frowned at him.  Xander looked up.  "We have security cameras?"

Sam stared up.  "That's not in ours."  He called Daniel.  "You put a video camera in Xander's apartment?  Thanks, Daniel."  He hung up.  "He has no idea why you never saw it before."

Xander stared at him.  He reached over to pinch Sam.  He started to fade out.  "I'm not at home, am I?"

Sam looked at himself.  "Apparently we're not."  He frowned and resolidified himself.   "Huh.  We'll see.  Dean'll be coming soon."  That got a nod and Xander ate too. They knew that whatever was going on, Dean and Dawn would save them.  They were like that.  This strange not-DCIS world wouldn't keep them for long.

***

John walked into the infirmary, staring at his son, who was sleeping sitting up while touching Xander's head.  "Hey, Chase?" he called.  "When did Sammy become touchy-feely with Xander this time?"

Chase walked in wiping off his mouth since he had just belched in the elevator.  "I don't know."  He came over to separate them but Sam growled and mumbled something.  "That's a problem.  Get House," he said.  John called him down.  He went to pull Xander's records and the vial of medicine House had used on him this time.  "Sam said they're somewhere that's not here.  He's ghostly, Xander isn't," he reported when his boss walked in.

"Can't he behave for just one day?" House demanded.

Chase looked at him.  "You sedated him."  The machine beeped so he pulled out the report.  "This is not what it says it is.  Abby!" he bellowed.  She was in the pool by now.  She came jogging in wearing her black one-piece suit and a towel, plus a swim cap with ruffles.  "House gave it to Xander."

She looked then frowned.  "I have no idea what this is."  She frowned, taking the vial up to her lab to look it over.  "It's not even from this galaxy!" she yelled a minute later.  She had a short hopping fit then started the link that forced a connection to Rodney's computer.  "I have something that was given to Xander that comes from your area of space and has knocked him into an alternate universe from his drug-induced coma."

Rodney looked at the tiny picture window.  "Thanks for sharing,  I'm fine, how are you?" he asked dryly.  "Why are you wearing that cap?"

"I was swimming until we found out House had knocked Xander into another realm again.  The last one that did that is still in a crystal in some higher power's foyer," she babbled.

He blinked.  "What did he use?"  She faxed the report over the connection.  He stared.  "How in the hell did that get to you!" he shouted.

"I don't know, sweetie.  It was in this vial," she said, holding it up to the camera.  "That is right now in Xander and Sam's somehow involved too.  What do we do?"

"Get Carson down there."  He stared at her.  "Are you all right?"

She grinned.  "I'm fine.  It was a good, but spicy dinner.  Then I went for my nightly swim.  Dawn!" she shouted.  She grinned at him.  "So you've run into this before?"

"Yes, I was not fond of that paranoid not-here."  She groaned, sitting down.  He looked.  "Sit up, you'll ruin your posture."

She looked at him.  "You just want to stare at my breasts."

"That as well," he admitted with a grin.  "I need to come down there soon."

She beamed.  "If you do, I'll take the day off.  Oh, did you see Florida?"

"And swore at Xander's newest case," he said dryly.  "Carson!" he yelled.  "Get your sheepherding ass in here now!"  She giggled.  "I swear he was.  He jabs much too hard with all the needles."

"He's just denying his lust for you.  The same as I pinch you too hard so I can see a claiming bruise, Rod."

He blushed.  "Do you think so?"

"I don't know, ask him."

"No, I couldn't do that.  I'll watch him harder."  Someone came in.  "Finally!  That stupid not-here serum somehow ended up at DCIS and has knocked not only Xander but Sam Winchester into that other place."

Carson leaned down.  "You're sure?"

"Yes!" Rodney said, sounding pissed.  He handed him the report.  Then he swatted him.  "Go fix it!  Before they try to invade.  Because if that's him, they're probably going to with his luck and penchant for getting into trouble that not even *Sheppard* can!"

"How would I get down there?"

Dawn leaned on Abby's shoulder.  "You need a pickup?  Tiff, you guys, Rodney, or just him?"

"If I could, but if I don't fix this one system, the shield may fail.  If Radek wasn't on Earth...."  He glared at someone off camera.  "When is Radek getting back?"

"Next week, on the ship leaving on the third," Sheppard said.  "What's going on?"

"The not-us serum somehow managed to get given to Harris," he said dryly.

"How in the hell?"

"Who knows," he said dryly.  "Go, Carson.  The sooner I get done, the sooner I can go help Abby do her laps."  He looked at her.  "Why the cap again?"

"Have you seen what chlorine does to hair?" she asked.  "I like my hair the way it is.  And so do you."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "It's very cute."  She beamed and blew a kiss.  "Give him ten minutes to get his witch doctor kit together.  Then you can have him for a bit."

"Sure," Dawn agreed.  "Same place?"  Rodney nodded that'd be fine. "And let me know when you need a vacation."

"He can go now," Sheppard said.

"The shield," he said in a 'hello' voice.

"Oh, that.  Damn.  Give him a week to fix this and a few hours to browbeat Zalenka when he gets back," John said with a smile.

Daniel walked in.  "How did that get down here?"

"Don't know," John said.

"Rodney, did you have any left?"

"Ask Carson!  He's coming down to handle it."

He smiled.  "Good.  By the way, the next geek conference, we've *got* to clean out the idea closet as well."  Abby pouted.  "Tough.  There's some dangerous stuff in there.  I don't want it to explode or anything."  He looked at Dawn, who smiled and waved.  "Fine.  Soon, Doctor Beckett?"

"Give me ten to pack things," he agreed, jogging off.

John leaned down closer to the camera.  "Cute swim cap, Abby.  Are we having technical problems?"

"Give me an excuse," Rodney said, smiling at Abby, who gave him a look.  "I could use a visit.  We are having problems with the shield."

"If she can be dressed in the same amount of time," John sighed, walking off shaking his head to tell Sam Carter that.

Abby squealed and ran for her lab closet to find clothes.  She came out and found Dawn had levitated a bag for her and was smirking.  "Thank you!"  She hugged her, bouncing a bit.  "Undies?"

"You'll be wearing them?" Dawn teased with a happy grin.

"He might not like it if I don't."

"Uh-huh."  She shrugged.  "Got any here?  I wasn't about to paw through things.  That's all from your basket in the closet."

"Probably dirty then."  She sniffed.  "Yup, smells like a lab accident."  She sighed and Dawn opened a portal for her.  She grabbed some stuff and underwear and socks, then packed them in her backpack for camping.  She grabbed her sneakers and hairbrush, then soap and shampoo, then hair things as a last thought.  Then her ID card and Dawn walked through to open the portal there.  The first one closed and a new one opened.  "Hi, Carson!"  She gave him a hug and Dawn helped him across while she jogged off.

"Doctor Becket, four more steps to clear the threshold please."   He did that and she closed it. "C'mon, infirmary's in the basement of the main building.  This is Abby's place."

"I noticed the cute picture of her and McKay," he said with his usual Scottish accent.  He followed her down to the infirmary.  "Pretty night."

"Summer in North Dakota," she said with a teasing smile.  She used her pass to get down there, waving at the security guys.  "Someone dosed Xander with bad stuff.  He's a doc from McKay."  They got on and went down there.  "One Scottish doc, House.  Abby's off so if you need her, she's with her snuggly one."  She waved then went over to where Xander was.  She hopped up on the next bed, closing her eyes and dropping down into a meditative state.  "I need Dean's help to pull them back.  He's a good anchor to my rope."  They called him for her.  "They're having dinner," she said when she felt someone stand in front of her.  Warm, callused hands touched her temples and she felt Dean join in.  They grabbed Xander and yanked, bringing Sam with him.  Sam gasped and woke up.  Xander moaned and flipped onto his side, growling at Carson.

Carson drew out the medicine then tried to stick him with it.  He had to dodge the sharp teeth so House took it and Chase came over to hold him down.  "He makes me the restraint so Xander doesn't get his thigh," he said with a grin for the other doctor.  House got him and Xander flinched and tried to move away.  "Hold still, Xander.  It's House and me."  Xander growled deeper.

Sam reached over and smacked him on the top of the head.  "Put the hyena back, Xander."

Dawn got off the bed and came over to cuddle him.  "Pain in my ass," she said in his ear.  He sniffed her then went limp, pulling her in to cuddle.  She sighed.  "Okay, we can do it this way.  What's wrong with him beyond him doing his back again?"

"Head injury, the usual," House told her.  "Wake him up when you can.  Doctor Beckett.  I'm Doctor House, this is Doctor Chase.  That is the most unwilling patient ever, Xander Harris.  How did that get down here?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know but we're looking into it.  McKay is looking at it and Abby's now up there to help."

"Of course she is," Dean said dryly.  "Who wouldn't take the opportunity to go see their lover?"  He smacked Xander on the top of the head.   "Xander?  You in there yet?"

"I'm not sleeping with you.  Get off."

"It's me, Xander.  It was something from John and Rodney's job."

Xander blinked at her then at the other doctor.  "Do they hate me?  That's the third thing that's gotten down here this month."

"What else?" he asked.  He looked a bit horrified.

Xander yawned and nodded him to follow him.  He trudged up to the lab floor, getting into the vault.  He opened his area, tossing things out of his way until he found the small box.  "Those were one.  That's the other," he said, pulling down a glowing crystal.  He stared at him.  "I'm not coming up there no matter how many times you threaten my life to entice me.  I get plenty of life threatening around here."  He trudged off, heading to his apartment.  Dean met him outside.  "Dinner?"

"Probably a good thing since you missed lunch and dinner."  He walked him over to his place, putting Xander on their couch so he could cook from his and Sammy's store of supplies.  No way was Xander getting out of someone's sight.  Just in case he went back to them.

John stomped in.  "What's going on this time?"

"Somehow stuff from Rodney and John's project just infected Xander when House sedated him earlier," Dawn said with a grin.  "Abby's there helping investigate how."  Carson walked in.  "That is... magical," she said, taking the crystal.  It shocked her.  "Ow."  She sucked on those fingers and held it with her shirt's bottom hem.  "Very magical but not our sort or frequency.  Whatever."  She put it onto the bed.  It fizzled and went dim.  "And it likes Xander sweat," she added dryly.  She walked off shaking her head.  "Only Xander."

"Definitely," Sam agreed, following her out.

House looked at Carson.  "Is there a syndrome up there that starts with only certain people can do some things?"

"Yes, but for us it's ATA carriers."

"Xander is one," House groaned.  He shook his head quickly at Chase's look.  "Jackson had me check."

Daniel leaned in.  "We good?"

"We're fine.  The mystical spear of magical stuff that Dawn said is off our magical frequency dimmed at Xander sweat but tried to bite her."

"I'm a *social* scientist, House.  Not a physical sciences person.  I can ask Dawn to get Sam or someone."

Carson smiled.  "Radek's down here."

He beamed back.  "If Rodney trusts him."  He walked off shaking his head to tell Jack that.  Since Atlantis was still *his* headache.

Carson looked at them then shrugged.  "We might need him."

O'Neill stomped in.  "What's going on?"

"Mr. Harris said that these three things came from our project, General."  He put them on the bed.

"I knew that temple was going to cause problems."

"The last I saw this, it was locked in our infirmary," he said, waving the bottle.

"How?"

"I don't know.  Abby's up helping investigate on that end because McKay's busy with the shields.  Again."

He shook his head to clear that thought.  They were still a weird couple to him.  He hoped Carter wasn't too freaked out by them being together on Atlantis.  "Okay.  Do we have anyone down here but you who can deal with this?"

"Radek Zalenka is coming back from vacation on the next ship out.  He's Rodney's second over the scientists."

"Let me call."  He moved to the phone to call.  "Ernie, it's Jack O'Neill.  I need Radek Zalenka on the DCIS base immediately.  Some cross-contamination.   He's supposed to be going off leave next week.  If he's there we can have him now.  If not, give us a contact number."  He waited, writing it down.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called.  "Is Doctor Zalenka there?  This is General O'Neill.  Head over his project."  The scientist snatched the phone.  "How did three things from your project, one that was locked in your infirmary, get down here, Zalenka?"  He listened to him.  "Sent to Harris actually."

Carson took the phone.  "One was the serum that knocked Rodney into that paranoid mental realm."  He listened.  "DCIS.  Dawn brought me."  He smiled.  "You sure, lad?"  He laughed.  "That's a good reason.  I'll see if I can find out how they got me down so fast.  No, Abby's off helping Rodney investigate from that end.  Shields, again.  Of course."  He looked at Jack.  "His mother's nagging him for children and a wife sometime soon."

"If they're compatible, have some," Jack said with a shrug.  "Danny had Sha're."  Carson gave him a look.  "Someone call Dawn?"  Chase moved to do that. "We need a clear, detailed picture of wherever he wants picked up."

"Agreed."  He said that then hung up.  "He said give him a half hour to get away from his mother's wailing."

"That's fine."  Dawn leaned in the doorframe nibbling on a donut.  "Need a pickup ASAP, Dawn."

"That's fine.  Picture?"

"Coming," Carson promised.  "To Abby's email."

"We can get it."  She walked in and logged in.  "She's using Xander's old one because he gets tips into it from the underworld."  She came up with the picture and smiled, creating an open portal.  He looked then touched it before shrugging and walking through.  "It hasn't harmed Rodney yet, Radek."

He smiled at her and kissed her on the head.  "You're very nice.  Thank you, Dawn."

She smiled and waved at his mother.  "I'm only helping, not marrying him."  She saw something behind her and closed it quickly while he was still waving.  "Those damn knights," she muttered, jogging off.  "Wesley!  I just saw one of those crazy damn knights that wanted to kill me!"

"Oh, dear," he sighed, coming out to get her and go over what had happened.

Zalenka pointed.  "She always seemed so normal before."

"They wanted to kill her because of the portal stuff," Jack said.  He pointed at the bed.  Carson let him examine things.  "I can get you a log-in for the lab, Zalenka.  Abby won't mind."

"That's fine," he said absently, looking at the necklace.  "What's this?"

"Dawn said magic but it's not on our frequency," House said.  "Take it out of the infirmary before I have to stab more people with needles."

"Of course."  Jack walked them up to the lab.  He got one of the lab geeks to come log them in and help them.  Jack walked off at the first scientific question.  This was not his area of expertise.  He found Daniel.  "Zalenka has a log-in."

"His should work."  He called.  "Your log-in should work, Zalenka.  That's fine.  Let me know and I'll make sure you find a place to sleep tonight."  He hung up, calling Cloris.  "We have two visiting scientists."  He smiled.  "One might think he has to sleep in the lab but I'm not that mean, Cloris.  One doc and him.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She'll go get them keys and directions plus sheets on their beds."  That got a nod.  "Any other issues?"

"That temple?"

"It hasn't been them.  Sheppard saw them recently and they're pouting but Xander went up last month and said it's going well.  They're fine with him."

"Then who is doing it?"

"I don't know.  I'm sure they'll find out."

"Let's hope it's before an invasion."

"Definitely."  They shared a smirk and Daniel held up a paper.  "Your budget doesn't add up."  Jack groaned, taking it from him.  "Add three percent for inflation and problems.  Then use the calculator, Jack."

"Yes, Danny."  He went to do that.

Daniel shook his head but got back to his budget proposal.  Sometimes Jack drove him nuts.

***

Ronon saw someone jogging and frowned.  "Is that his mate?"  He followed her, hearing the squeal when she pounced.  "Yes it is his mate."  He leaned in.  "Is there a bad problem that I'll need more weapons for?  And is the hat a statement of bonding?"

Rodney gave him an odd look.  "Why would it be?"

"People wear strange things for ceremonies."  He shrugged.  "Your people more than most."

"I was swimming," she said, taking off the cap.  She grinned.  "Hi, Ronon."

"Welcome back."  He smirked.  "I'll let you two get reacquainted."  He left, going to find Tiff and Teyla.  "His mate is up.  She squealed and was wearing a strange, fluffy hat."

Tiff gave him an odd look.  "Abby wears hats?"  He nodded.  "Huh."  She went to say hi.  "Hi."

"It was a swim cap," Abby said with a grin, giving her a hug.  "We will have lunch tomorrow."

"Cool."  She beamed and left them alone since Rodney was clearly groping in the lab and that violated most of his rules.  One of the geeks stomped off to yell at Sam about the lab-groping.  She followed.  "Abby's here."

"I heard."  She looked at the geek.  "Rodney never gets to see her."

"She's not part of this project," she said in a huffy manner.

"No, she's the head of research and the lab at DCIS, which is over us," Sam told her.  The geek squeaked.  "I'll remind them not to make out in the lab.  Okay?"  She walked off sniffling.  "Guess he hadn't driven off her crush yet."

Tiff giggled.  "Ronon was confused.  She was wearing a swim cap."

"Ah.  Well, Abby's a bit strange so I can excuse it.  How much groping is going on?"

"A bit of butt clenching and kissing.  It's cute to watch."

She smiled.  "Go play, Tiff.  You're off this week."  She bounced out to go join one of the football games on a terrace while Sam went to the lab.  She cleared her throat.  "The one who walked off crying because you have a girlfriend complained about the mild groping.  Personally, I don't care.  Try the closet if you're going to cuddle more than that in here," she said, realizing Rodney was doing her shoulders.  She smirked.  "Welcome back, Abby."

"Hi, Sam.  Did you get the newsletter?"

"I did.  Tiff and I both."  She winked and walked off.  It was good to see them being cute and happy.  She went to find the others.  "Carson will be back in a few days," she said as she walked into the infirmary.  "How did that dream world serum get down to the DCIS base?"

They all gave her an odd look then went to look at it.  It was missing.  "We'll figure it out."

"Please.  Abby, from DCIS's lab, is up as well.  So if you need help, ask."

"We can do that," Carson's second agreed.

Sam grinned.  "Good."

"Should we," one coughed, "stock some *supplies*?"

"I don't know.  We don't have some stashed somewhere?"

"Yeah, but it's in the back of the closet after the last time we had to dig."

"Then I'd put a few in a drawer," she agreed with a grin.  "Never hurts to be safe.  Label the drawer and all that if you want."  They smiled.   "Though, there's people who want to see that kid because it'll be the biggest geek yet."  She walked off happier.  Someone had an idea of what to do so they wouldn't be traumatized by baby Abby and Rodney's.   She went to watch the football game, cheering on Tiff.  She was like a little sister most of the time.  Even when she had bounced into a negotiation and nearly gotten herself and Sheppard killed.  Though, they hadn't really wanted him for more than breeding purposes so she had saved him.  And everyone else from a whole planet of little John Sheppards.  She wasn't sure which kids would be worse - which told her she needed a vacation back on earth.

***

Xander woke up and looked around.  "Am I in the wrong world again?"  Dean came out to stare down at him.  "Why are you nearly naked?"

"You fell asleep on the couch after I fed you dinner, Xander."  Xander grinned at him for that.  "Go back to sleep."  He handed him the pillow off the floor then went back to bed.

"Cute boxers, Dean."

"Faith said so.  Don't drool or I'll have to tell her."

"You're not my kind.  You're straight."  He yawned and snuggled in again.  It was a nice couch to nap on.  He drifted off again, at least until the clicking woke him up.  He frowned, looking around before sitting up.  "What the hell," he muttered, glancing around again.  Sam's light was off so it wasn't him working on something.  He got up and went to look outside then groaned and went to find something to throw at the person with the flamethrower that wouldn't start.  He found a pan and threw it at the guy's head, making him scream and dance off.  The guards came running to pounce him.  He felt someone come up behind him.  "I'll wash the pot."

Dean looked then patted him on the back.  "Sure, you can wash the pot."  He walked off shaking his head.

Xander stumbled to the bathroom in Sam's room then back to the couch.  He snuggled in and went back to sleep.

Sam came out looking amused.  "I needed to get up anyway," he decided.  He heard yelling and went to look outside.  "I guess that's what woke him up."

"No, the guy with the flamethrower woke him up.  He used our pot to hit him," Dean said from his doorway.  They looked at Xander but he only snored back.  They shook their heads and went back to bed.  Xander was very unique.  Thankfully.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership Drives

Notes:  The leaving of Fargo scene and introduction was written by the wonderful Josette, who knows Eureka much better than I do.  The whole first scene and the introduction part of the meeting is hers.  The idea to add Fargo came from her and a few others on the Imaginings list so thanks to them as well.

Fargo ran a cloth over the inscription in the marble archway, tucking it into his pocket as he took one last look around the Dr. Nathan Stark memorial Hallway.  Straightening Dr. Stark's picture, he turned to walk away, his work here in Eureka finished.

He'd been getting job offers from DCIS almost since the agency had formed, but working with Dr. Stark had made dealing with Eva Thorne worthwhile.  When Dr. Stark had sacrificed himself to start time moving forward again, he'd quietly put in his two weeks notice and started working on a fitting memorial.  Now that it was done, all he had to do was say goodbye to a few people in Eureka and drive away; his belongings had been boxed up by a quiet moving company and he was sure that not even his neighbors were aware that they'd been there.

He turns to look over his shoulder at the picture of Dr. Stark, blinking as he almost swears the man nods in approval at him.  Shaking his head he turns and walks away, walking to his office and boxing up his remaining personal items.  He looks up at the knock on the door, seeing Sheriff Carter looking inside.

"Then it's true, you did take the job in North Dakota." he says calmly, walking into the room and helping him take down his framed diplomas.

"How did you find out?" Fargo asked, looking up from packing the box.  Taking the frames, he placed them carefully in the box before checking his desk for any stray items.

"They called me last night to confirm they were packing your belongings." Jack picked up the box and followed him out of the room.  It looked bare without Fargo's books cluttering the shelves, his diplomas and pictures on the walls, and his notes scattered on his desk, in an order known only to him. And Stark, Jack thinks wistfully, the other man had always been able to find anything in Fargo's office.

"I miss him too, Sheriff." Fargo says, looking over at Jack as he shut the lights off in the room.  "Dr. Stark was the only thing keeping me here, now that he's . . . gone."

"I understand Fargo, really." Jack put the box in the packed back seat of Fargo's car and watched him leave Global Dynamics one last time, absently patting his pocket with all the contact information Dr. Jackson had given him on Fargo's new job, address, and e-mail, knowing others in Eureka will be asking him where Fargo is once they finally figure out the other man has left. A cynical part of him asks just how long it will take them to realize he's gone.

"So our little boy has finally grew wings and left the nest." a rough voice says over his shoulder and Jack turned to see Taggart watching Fargo's car drive out of sight.  "I wondered how long he would stay with Stark gone and Thorne being an evil bitch."

"Just long enough to make a fitting tribute to Stark." Jack says.  Taggart nods, turning to walk away.  "Do you need his e-mail once he gets settled in?" Jack called after his back.

"Already got it mate," Taggart smirks as he heads back into the bowels of Global Dynamics.  "I'll write him once he gets settled in."

Fargo pulls into a parking space across from Cafe Diem, smiling softly as he sees Jo and Henry walk in, Vincent is already there of course and doing a quick mental check of Zoe's work schedule tells him that everybody he wants to say goodbye to is there.  He walks across the street and enters the room, automatically catching Zoe as she runs into his arms.

"I'm going to miss you Fargo," she says, quickly hugging him.  "Promise me you'll write?"

"I promise Zoe," he says softly, patting her on the shoulder.

Jo is the next one to come up to him and she grabs him by the tie, pulling him forward and kissing him firmly on the mouth. "You tell them to treat you good or I'll come and kick their asses." She growls. "I don't care who they are, you're one of us Fargo, even if some people have their heads so far up their asses they don't know what's going on."  She turns to look at Henry. "And yes, I do mean Dr. Blake, she's changed the last couple of months and it's not just losing Dr. Stark; she was acting like a bitch before that."

Henry shakes his head but he can't argue, pulling Fargo into his arms and handing him a envelope.  "Stay in touch, Fargo." he says softly before walking out.  Jo follows him out and he turns to Vincent, only then realizing the Cafe is strangely empty for this time of day.

"I told the others we'd be closed this afternoon so we could say goodbye in private," he says at Fargo's look.  "I'm not about to let the gossip get back to Ms. Thorne, she'd probably find some excuse to have you arrested."  He goes into the back and comes out with a big basket of food.  "Here, this should keep you until you get to your new job.  I'm going to miss you, Fargo; you were one of the few people here who appreciated me for more than just a pretty face."  He smiled and patted Fargo on the shoulder before heading back into the kitchen.

Fargo puts the basket of food on the passenger seat and got behind the wheel, gulping silently as he leaves Eureka for the last time.

***

Daniel hung up with the president, smiling a little bit.  "That's not bad news."  He moved to get some things ready for the new guy.  "Xander?" he called.  "Tony?"  They came into his office.  "Someone answered the president's plea to give us a deputy director."

"His office is the one up the hall to the right," Tony said with a point.  "Everything but furniture and a secretary, boss."

"Is this going to be some stuffed shirt?" Xander asked.  "Because I don't want to have to correct them and all but the first time they step in on the girls or my case...."

Daniel smiled.  "He's from a classified DoD project, science based.  He's fairly young.  He's a scientist himself and he doesn't have a lot of self-confidence from what the general we just talked to said.  Apparently he got fed up and the president accepted him since he's the first one ever.  The president apparently tried to recruit him a few times during the early days but he wouldn't leave back then.  He was going to be Abby's second originally."

Xander nodded slowly.  "Can he put science into terms I can understand?"

"We'll see," Daniel promised with a small smile.  Xander grinned.  "He's used to strange things happening.  Their science project is *seriously* going to end up here some day according to the general.  Especially since they're fairly tired of that town at the moment."

"Okay," Xander agreed.  "And what's his downside?"

"He's a bit fussy and this is first time in command.  He was the assistant to the head of the other project."

"So, he can proofread reports, talk to the press, all that for us?" Tony asked.

"Hopefully.  I hate doing it."  They smiled.  "He has a high enough security clearance to know the details from Jack's project."

"NID?" Tony asked.

"No.  Not funded that way.  Top secret Department of Defense science project gone huge."

Xander looked confused.  "I heard something about that from someone."  He shook it off.  "When does he get here?"

"Tomorrow.  Be nice to the new guy.  He's fragile.  He walked off his last one when his former boss died."  They nodded.  "Give him a chance, Xander.  He might not step in your way all that often."

"Sure, until he does."

"Good."  He smiled, walking them down to that office to look at it.  "We'll need to get him furniture."

"New budget month just started, boss," Tony said with a grin.

Daniel smirked back.  "I know."  They went to the main work area.  "People, the president has found us a deputy director."  Everyone looked at him.  "He is young.  Give him a chance please?  He was working on a highly classified DoD science-based project.  He's got a clearance high enough to know everything we do.  He's got brains like Abby does.  He's supposed to be a nice guy, just a bit young and possibly not real sure of himself in command yet.  He'll be here tomorrow."

"Don't threaten him until he gets in your way, Xander," Eric ordered with a grin.

"Or take him to the demon strip club," Stella added with a grin of her own.

"I don't usually go to the demon one," Xander complained.  "Just now and then I seem to end up there."

"No more going on vacation with Sam and Dean," Daniel reminded him.

"They sent me a letter begging me to take on the thing that's bothering that realm because it's about to release a biological weapon."

Daniel sighed, considering it.  "Where does that one lead to?"

"No clue."

"I don't want you going alone."  Xander gave him the most odd look.  "Biological weapons can hurt you too, Xander," he said patiently.

"I'm pretty sure it'll be like the fishman incident."

"Huh?" Tony asked.

"Swim team."

"Oh, that."  Tony shuddered.  "Take a short break, go," he ordered, looking at Daniel.  "He's only got one case."

"Fine.  How long?"

"Last time it was a day and a half."

"Go," Daniel sighed.  Xander whooped and went to get what he'd need, then came back for the invitation once he was redressed.

"Leather?" Calleigh asked.

"Light body armor."  He grabbed it off his desk and disappeared, bag and all.  He looked at the demon there.  "You needed my help?"

"We do.  They're getting frustrated and want to end the world."

"I'm there then."

"You cannot bring...."  Xander pulled out his axe to look over.  The demon gulped.  "I know of that weapon."

"I sent it to Florida with the slayers because it had been in all the other hell god battles."  He grinned sweetly.  "I'm dressed and I have supplies on me.  I can go now."

"Let me check."  He checked with the bosses, who agreed it was fine since it was so desperate.  He sent Xander to start the quest.  In the demon casino, a few groaned.  A few cheered.  And a few ran to place bets on how the women would try to kill him this time when he bedded them.

***

The car stopped at the gates and the young man in the back held up his new ID.  "I'm here to meet my people," he said with a quiet smile.  "Are they in?"

"They usually are unless they're doing something that makes the news, sir.  Is this your usual driver?"

"He was sent to pick me up.  I don't have a personal car right now.  I got told it was too classified to let out of town when they tried to stop me from leaving."  Thorne had heard somehow and had tried to have him stopped on the way out of town.  Fortunately Carter had heard and come to run interference and drive Her Bitchiness back into the shadows of Global Dynamics so she could suck it more dry and destitute of talent.  He had given him a ride to the airport after calling the general that had gotten him the job.

"That's fine then.  If you want to, he can park in the pink triangle lot and your things can sit in the security office for a few minutes."

"Thank you."  He took his ID back and they drove on.  He got out and got his three bags plus basket of food, putting them inside where the guard was waiting.  "Hi, Douglas Fargo."

"Sir, nice to meet you.  Doctor Jackson is upstairs in his office fielding calls on why one agent is in Las Vegas having fun and creating a panic."

"On purpose?"

"No, things like that happen around Harris.  You get used to it."

"Couldn't be any stranger than my last job.  Which floor?"

"Third.  Second is the lab."

"We have a lab?" he asked, his face lighting up.

"Most of a floor's worth.  Abby's over that but she's off to help her boyfriend, who runs an associated lab, with a problem he's having."

"That's fine.  Thank you."  He shook his hand and used his pass on the elevator, going up to the third floor.  He looked at the hallway.  "New light bulbs?"

The maintenance guy looked up from his mopping.  "We know.  They ordered the wrong wattage.  A few people have complained they're getting a tan."

Fargo nervously brushed off his clothes as he tapped at a door, a muffled come in has him turning the knob and walking in, finding a tall man wearing glasses behind a desk.  Papers were piled on every flat surface, books and strange artifacts cover the shelves.

"Dr. Jackson?  I'm Douglas Fargo, your new executive assistant."  He holds out his hand as the other man looked up.

"Welcome to DCIS."  He shook the hand.

"Thank you.  We have a lab?"

"We mostly deal in forensics but one of our classified sub-projects does deal with many things that're lab-based.  Including physics and alien artifacts."

"Seriously?"

Daniel smiled.  "Seriously.  The head of the lab is presently off-world."

"Wow.  That's gotta be cool."  He grinned but he was still a bit nervous.  "So, I wasn't being appreciated at GD."

"GD?"

"Global Dynamics."

Daniel moaned.  He'd run into them as a subcontractor for the Stargate program a few times.  "Yeah, you can handle it here.  Just watch out for Xander's cases."

"Is he the one in Las Vegas?"

"He once won a game while on vacation there.  It was a live action D&D game."  Fargo sat down, looking very attentive at that.  "The demons running it are using it to cure a few problems on some realms.  They sent Xander a desperate plea to please come back and fix the new one since they were going to use a biological weapon.  Xander stopped the demons, found the human helping that, and dragged him plus his chemicals back.  He called the local liaison out there, who is a CSI, and he got their lab involved.  Their lab isn't happy, and they don't like the biological stuff.  Hence them being unhappy with Xander for making them deal with a demon for a few hours."

"I can understand that.  Demons, even the thought, still freaks me out some."

"There's some very good demons.  Some very nice ones.  Some that're very handy and helpful.  Then there's our caseload.  We're here to be the wall that separates the bad ones from the rest of humanity and demonkind."  That got a nod. "We stop it no matter which side started it.  We're also the chainlink fence between demons and humans for the most part."  That got another nod.  "I won't lie.  A lot of your job is going to be boring.  Proofing reports, covering me for me if I'm off on a case with that sub-project.  If you can do press stuff, we'd all love you to death."

"I've never even seen a member of the press," he admitted, eyes wide.

Daniel grimaced.  "I hate talking to reporters.  Xander stumbles over his words.  Tony's smooth but doesn't give them anything they want to know so they hate him."  He stood up.  "We'll figure it out but a lot of your job is going to be reducing some friction when it happens, proofing reports, and possibly putting lab work into more mundane terms for the officers and agents who aren't."

"Am I going to be going on field calls?"

"No, probably not.  It's just that I used to work on that sub-project and I'm a linguist.  I get called now and then for negotiations and things."

"That's reasonable.  Do I have an office?  I know the one who hired me said I'd have a full apartment."

"We all have apartments and your office has no furniture so you can make your own choices."  That got a smile.  "Tony forgot to outfit it."  Fargo laughed.  "C'mon.  We're right next door to the work area."  He led him in there.  "Guys, this is Douglas Fargo, our new deputy director.  Fargo, this is Jack.  He's my DD over that sub-project since it's highly classified."

"Hi," he said, waving at him with a grin.  He looked at him.  "Deputy director?  I thought I was an administrative assistant."

"Same thing most of the time around here," Daniel said.  "Higher paycheck with the fancier title though."

"Where were you last stationed?" Jack asked.

"Global Dynamics."

Jack shuddered.  "Sam would moan in geek glee, but I'm not the science sort."

"Our sheriff is that way and I spent a lot of time explaining things to him.  Him and my last boss."  He swallowed.  "I can do that here."

"Help Xander," a few people said.  Stella laughed at that, shaking her head.  She had been one.

"Xander came from a hunting background instead of a legal one," Daniel said.

"Okay."

"He's also on the slayers' training team.  Second in command in their Council."

"That's cool."  He smiled.  "Do we have a dictionary for demon words and names since I'm told I'll be doing some report proofreading?"

"Here," Speed said, handing over the ones he had gathered.  "We've had to make those up for ourselves over the last few years.  We're not formal, so ask if you think it's strange."

"I can do that."  He smiled at Tony.  "Thank you for letting me pick my own furnishings."

"Not a problem.  Fair warning, the girls still squeal and pounce but don't pinch anymore."

"I can handle that."  He probably couldn't but they'd hopefully be nice and realize he was a bit shy around real girls.  They smiled at him.  "Okay, let me get settled in today, find a good catalog of furniture...."  Calleigh handed over two.  "Thank you....."

"Calleigh.  That's Stella.  We don't have a lot of women here because most of us have too much sense, but our teams needed us."

"That's fine."  He smiled.  "Teams are good things.  They support you when you need them to."  She smiled back.  "Let me go unpack and all that stuff.  Then can I have the tour, Daniel?"

"Sure."

"How do you want to be addressed?" McGee asked.  "Some people are picky."

"Fargo is fine.  I'm used to it from my old boss and everyone."  They smiled and nodded.  "I'll see you soon I'm sure.  Hopefully I won't be babbling and bouncy."  They all smiled brighter at that.  So maybe he'd find some new friends here.  They went to check out his office and he nearly moaned at the space.  "I had a desk before."

"This is all yours but I would suggest some filing cabinets or bookcases," Daniel said.

"I can do that.  Do we allow pets?"

"Of course.  The slayers have two unicorns, a walking shrub demon, and a few stray cats."

Fargo smiled.  "I have two cats."

"That's fine.  If your apartment on base isn't big enough, the local town has a very low cost of living."  That got a nod and they walked down to get his bags then head over to his apartment.  Daniel got the keys from Cloris.  "This is Cloris, she's our housekeeping head.  She assigns apartments, makes sure nothing needs done, that stuff."

"That's fine.  Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome, young man."

"Fargo's fine for me."

"Fargo it is then."  He smiled and she led them to the apartment.  "This is one of the new ones.  As you can see we're still working on the other building.  They had some material screw ups."

"They switched nametags on the doors too," Daniel said.  "Tried to move House to the second floor over there."  They walked in and Daniel put the bags in the bedroom.  "This is all yours.  You can eat with us in the caf if you want or cook here.  Most of us do eat together except our armory master."

Fargo looked around.  "It's nice.  It's bigger than I expected too."

"We knew we'd be getting a DD sometime, Fargo.  Most of the apartments are a bit smaller.  I will warn you, you're overtop of House's apartment and he has a piano.  There's soundproofing but he thinks with it."

"That's not going to bother me."

"Good."  He smiled and led him back outside.  "That's the high rises.  Married on the right."  That got a nod.  "Xander, Tony, and the Winchester boys live there as well.   The low building between us is the slayer dorm."  He turned him around.  "That's the unicorn's barn.  The girls built it.  Binky is the gray one and anyone can pet her if she likes you.  Digger is the white one and he's a traditional one.  Virgins only."  That got a quick nod.  "The walking shrub's name is George; don't stand in his sun.  He has poisoned spikes to get you with."  They shared a look.  "A few of them will chase you if you're smoking."

"Not my thing."

"Just a warning."  He smiled.  "Let's do the tour."  He led him to the armory.  "This is Jack.  He's hiding and being our armory master.  He's responsible for weapons maintenance and checking in after cases where we confiscate."

"Can you use a weapon?" Jack asked after looking him over and shaking his hand.

"Theoretically."

"Do you need lessons?"

"Should I have some?"

"There have been a few occasions, back when we first started, that got us invaded," Daniel admitted.  "I would advise taking it, even if you don't think you need to.  Just in case it should ever happen again."

"I can schedule some time for that if you can teach me then," he offered to Jack.

"I can and have others."

"Okay."  He grinned.  He shook his hand again, looking at the gym.  "My last one had an employee only spa," he sighed when they got to the gym.

"If we had more room maybe, but not yet.  There is one in town and they do offer us discounts," Daniel offered.  "We're only a few years old."

"GD has been around since the forties so that doesn't surprise me.  We had a whole town to ourselves."

"Seriously?" Daniel asked.

Fargo nodded.  "A full town, including top notch schools, a really great restaurant where you could get anything, the spa, all that.  The whole town was heated and air conditioned by our labs."  He smiled.  "You'd like Eureka."

"I may have to visit.  The general that nominated you said that too many more problems and he'd ask to put them under us."

Fargo smirked.  "That might make for some interesting times for Sheriff Carter."  They walked on.  He got to meet the doctors, handing over his medical records.  He got to browse the lab.  It was below what he was used to but they were doing forensics and genetics stuff.  Which he could do very well if he did say so himself.  He'd have to get with Abby to see where he could help her.  He saw someone walking in wearing dusty leather and carrying two swords and an axe.  "Long case?" he asked.

Xander looked at him.  "You must be the new guy.  Hi, Xander Harris."

Fargo shook his hand.  "Douglas Fargo, call me Fargo."

Xander grinned.  "That's cool.  Just...don't try to step on my toes over my cases.  I get given the ones I do because I'm me."  Daniel scowled at him but nodded for Fargo's benefit.  "I can get along with anyone; just don't step on me for what I have to do.  I get enough shit like that from everyone else."  He glared at the boss.

"You're the one who dragged the human back and had the local CSI lab nearly shut down to handle the biological weapon."

"That's because it would've taken out that realm and spread, boss.  Speaking of, we need to send it to Abby up there.  I'm fairly certain it's another crossover."

"Zalenka's still in the lab."

"Cool.  I had Grissom and them send all that stuff here once they had the majority done and send a sealed sample vial Dawn."  That got a nod.  "It's nasty, boss.  I don't know what it's supposed to do but it gave everyone a horrible pustule disease from hell.  Literally."  That got another nod.  "I need to tell House too.  I couldn't be sure he didn't have a few test subjects and I think it can pass to humans but the ones I saw looked closer to chicken pox."

"That's fine.  Drop the weapons on your desk.  Talk to House.  Give us a comprehensive report on what happened.  Did you get another box?"

"They said I couldn't since I had been called in for the emergency.  The bettors booed them for it."  He grinned, walking off to put his weapons down.  "Don't ask," he said at the curious looks.  "Las Vegas is very mad that I brought back a germ doc."  He went to find House.  "Bad news."  House shuddered.  "I'm fine."

House looked up at him from his reading.  "That's not really *bad* news, Xander.  Odd news but not bad news."

"The germ doc in that realm had a hell-born pustule virus that can and did cross over to humans when he tested a few.   Looked like chicken pox in humans.  In demons it was worse.  It also looks like something Rodney needs to see.  Dawn's getting called for a pickup of a sample once they have most of it destroyed and figured out."

"I'll get with the lab.  Chicken pox?"

"Looked like it to my untrained eye, yeah.  On demons, it was exploding pustules and high fever, then their feet turned purple and swelled so much they couldn't move.  A few had exploding feet and died from it."

"Good to know.  How soon?"

"Probably a few hours, not really sure."

"Decent.  Go change before you scare someone."

"Yes, House."

"Not even a scratch?"

"Stiff neck.  I slept on a rock last night."  House got up and moved his head around then popped it for him.  Xander moaned.  "Thanks, House.  Seen the new DD?"

"He seemed nice but unsure of himself.  He'll grow balls here."

Xander grinned.  "We all did."  He went to shower and change after warning Dawn.

***

Carson Beckett and Radek Zalenka were waiting when Dawn opened the portal.  "Is that the whole sample that's left?" Carson asked.

"No, there's two more that've been frozen," Greg Sanders said as he stepped through.  He handed that one off then took the styrofoam container with the reports on top.  "I'll be back by tomorrow, Gris.  Thanks."  He stepped out of the way and she closed it.  "Thanks, Dawn."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Want to come to UNLV?  I'll show you all the good clubs," he teased.  They had become buddies when they were in Vegas over the firewall between the realms incident.

"I might come for the parties but Xander wanted me closer since I'm still not quite eighteen yet.  Giles wanted me in England."

"Pretty country but it's just as good over here."  Radek took the container and Greg took back the reports.  "I've got chemistry, DNA, because we did find some, and all the other tests we could run on it.  Plus we debriefed the idiot before the people Xander called got him."  Radek took those back and they hiked up to the lab.  "No Abby?"

"She's dating their coworker.  They're subbing while she's off with him since he's running an associated lab and having a few problems."

"Awww.  Geek date," he said with a coo.

Carson smiled.  "You have no idea but they're adorable together, lad."  Fargo got the elevator for them.  "Which field were you in?"

"I was working at Global Dynamics with Nathan Stark."

"Come on then," Radek ordered.  "That way we don't have to translate for Doctor Jackson.  He's a social scientist so he only gets half of what we're saying."  He looked at Dawn.  "This is dangerous."

"And I need to see if it's magically reactive in case we have to quarantine an area with it and I have to put up a shield, docs."

"Good point," he admitted.  "Stay out of harm's way.  Xander would beat me worse than Ronon would."

"He was kinda big and strong looking," she quipped.

"Aye," Carson agreed with a smile.  "Single too."

"Not my type.  Now, Buffy's type, yes, definitely.  Dangerous, likes weapons, good in bed and in a fight?  Definitely her type.  Think you could use another slayer up there?"

"We think Tiff's wonderful but your sister wouldn't be able to shop," Radek teased back as the elevator doors opened.

"That might kill her," Xander agreed.  He had been waiting.   "I've got my camera from the area that I'm fairly certain had his test bunnies."  Fargo took it to upload the photos after shaking himself out of his thoughts.  Buffy was real?  He had her picture on his wall once!  Wow, so they must've made that show he saw in tribute or to help cover up some of the strange stuff they had gotten into.  "Wow, you're a real lab geek?"

"I am," he said with a smile.  "My grandfather won a Nobel."

Dawn punched him on the arm.  "Be yourself, Fargo.  We'll know otherwise and make fun of you."

"Please don't."

"Just be yourself and we won't," she assured him.  "Though, the girls will flirt to see how easy you are to make blush."  He blushed.  "I'll let them know you're real easy on that."  She gave him a pat on the arm.  "Any idea if it's magic reactive, Xander?"

"I've got mine locked."

"Did they have up a quarantine shield or anything?"

"They basically had a whole town that was sealed non-magically."

"Charming.  Okay.  Greg?"  He got out of the way, putting one of the frozen samples down for her.  She cleared her mind and created a shield around it then frowned and moved closer.  "This is definitely Rodney stuff."  Radek looked.  "We see some of it down here.  Like the crystal was."  She got onto the computer and initiated the uplink.  "Hi, Rodney's coworker.  It's the DCIS lab and we have more of your stuff."

"Abby and Rodney are off on the mainland working on something.  Can we help?" she asked, spotting Zalenka.  "Do we need to know that badly?"

Radek looked up and nodded.  "Looks like a wraith-born virus that got mixed with chicken pox."

"They said it was hell-born, not other realmy," Xander offered.

"Interesting."  Radek shrugged.  "We'll have to see."  He looked at his coworker again.  "I'm faxing over reports.  Get them to Abby as soon as humanly possible please.  Then have them call.  We're testing it here.  We have a pretty good sized sample and I have Carson, still."

"Sure, Radek.  When are you coming back?"

"Ship after next.  We keep finding more and more of our things here."  That got a grimace.  "Including a generator crystal."  She moaned so he sent the reports.  "Give that to Rodney."

"Of course."  She hung up.  He cut the link.  She put out a call, hoping they were in a jumper.  Nope.  Sheppard came in instead.  "More of our stuff ended up at DCIS."

"Charming!"  He took the reports.  "That's a disease, right?"

"Yes.  Radek said to tell McKay and totally ruin his day."

He nodded.  "Probably, yeah."  He went to call him the better way.  "McKay."

"Must you interrupt what little free time I get?" he demanded back.

"Someone found what looks like a wraith virus somewhere on earth."

"Excuse me?" Abby demanded.

"It came from your lab, Abby."

"Oh, someone's going to pay.  I'm going to sic Xander on them," she said.

He smiled.  "Carson and Radek are down there working on the other stuff.  Still.  Radek's list of what's crossed over is very impressive.   When you get back, I've got reports for you from them."

"It'll be an hour," Rodney said then hung up.  It'd take them a good ten minutes to find all their clothes then flying back time since he would be careful with her in the jumper.

***

Dawn got a strange text and frowned, texting it back.  It came back worse.  She called Abby's phone.  "Was that you?  Sure.  Picture?"  She hung up and got a picture sent.  It didn't quite match the feeling so she sighed, going to get Jack.  "Picture of the base?  Abby and Rodney are back."

"Crap," he muttered, finding one of his team inside the base.  "Caf."

She looked then opened the portal, making most of the Marines jump and grab a gun.  "Chill, dudes, we're DCIS.  See, General Jack."  Jack waved them back down.  "Abby and McKay?"

"I'll page them, ma'am," one said.  "How are you doing that?"

She smirked.  "I'm amazing."  Abby came stomping in.  "It's really scrambled there."

"Had to send it out through their filters."  Rodney followed with two bags.  Abby took one and went back to find the other thing and bring it.  "Okay, we're here."  She closed the portal and they carried stuff up to the lab.  Abby frowned at the new guy.  "Do I know you?"

"Douglas Fargo, new Deputy Director and formerly of Global Dynamics."

She blinked.  "Wow, we recruited for strange brains."  He smiled and nodded.  "Cool.  Get out of my way, Fargo.  This disease is of the bad as the slayers say.  Oh, this is Rodney McKay, he runs the labs on Atlantis."

"Nice to meet you," he said, holding out a hand.  Rodney shook it quickly but followed.   He followed them back up there.  "Xander got a lot of information and the CSI team out of Las Vegas got more on where it came from originally.  He did admit he found part of it naturally occurring and then tampered."

"That still makes no sense.  How is so much of our project getting down here?"

"It's not that temple," Radek sad as they walked in.  "Abby."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Nice to work with you again."

"Hi, Radek."  She gave him a hug.  "Hi, Carson."  She gave him a hug too.  "What do we know for sure?"  They pointed at the wall of hanging sheets of evidence and reports.  She and Rodney came to look.  "That's wraith or is the other wraith?"

"That's wraith virus," Rodney said with a point.  "What's the other?"

"Xander said in humans it looked like chicken pox.  In them it was exploding pustules," Carson said.  "His camera took a few good pictures of the end stage."  He got into that file.  "House even said 'eeww' over them."  Abby shuddered.  "The problem is that this isn't the only thing that's crossed over."

"Was the last game in the same universe?" Abby asked.

"No.  The realm's readings were farther off.  Xander took a recording device when I ordered him to," Radek said.

"Good!"  She smiled.  "Did he win?"

"Yup," Dawn agreed, hopping up onto a desk.  "I can tell you it's from wherever that funky, glowing, magicky crystal came from.  Same feeling of the overall environment."  They stared at her.  "We can get the feeling of 'it belongs here' if it's not from here.  Their 'not from here' feelings matched."

"Can you quantify that?" Rodney asked.  "And get off the table."

"Fine."  She slid down, shrugging a bit.  "I can tell you what else feels the same.  I can tell you they've got some differences because the crystal nearly bit me.  It did zap me and a few other things around here have felt the same way, including a holy artifact we ran into last year."  Abby groaned at that.  "And another thing, Rodney, are you infected with radiation?  You're feeling off too."

"I am?" he demanded.  He took Carson aside to let him check him over.

"A bit of it...." he mumbled, checking himself.  "Me too."  Dawn looked over when he came back.  "Do I feel the same as the crystal?"

"Close but more closer to ours.  If I took what you feel like and added some underlying current and the feeling of gamma heaviness, that'd be them once you added some sulphur feeling and stink."

He considered it.  "Same universe?"

"If we had samples I could narrow it down to a planet or a plane."

"That might help," he agreed.  "I'll figure out ours for now."

"Ask House."

"I can do that as well."  He went to get House in on that problem.

Dawn looked at Abby, shrugging a bit.  "You've got some."

"The shields are probably miscalibrated."

"We just calibrated them, Radek.  They had been malfunctioning.... Rod?"  He looked over.  "Could that be why the shields went down again?"

"Of course.  Now if we knew the source...."

"Could be naturally occurring.  It's not like cancer treatment radiation, Rodney.  It's more like microwave radiation.  Warm radiation."  Dawn shrugged.

"Sunlight radiation?" Radek suggested.

"I haven't been up there for more than a few seconds but not yours.  Yours feels more like water than not and you've been gone too long to tell.  We'd need another sample that hadn't been in the same places they've been."

"Carson showed some," Rodney said.

"Radek doesn't.  Huh."  She considered it then went to ask Carson a pointed question.  "You have it and Radek doesn't.  It's not the natural sunlight warmth radiation on the base but it's fairly close.   It's a warmth, microwave warmth, feeling radiation.  Who else wouldn't have it?"

He considered it.  "I don't know why we have it."

"Exposure?"

"Does Xander have it?" House asked.

"No.  I checked to make sure.  Abby has a little bit.  It may be what sent the shields down."

Carson frowned.  "We need samples."

"Then Tiff needs a witch," she said dryly.  "And no, I'm not volunteering.  I'm not sure I'm able to handle that stuff."  She smirked suddenly.  "But... is there a way to test them and bring me back samples?"

"The scanners will work to find it," he admitted.  "I'd have to get into the recent notes."  They went back to the lab, taking a computer off to the side.

Fargo came over.  "Can I help?"

"Sure," Carson agreed.  "Can you identify what type of radiation wave this is?"

He looked then pulled out a calculator to figure it up.  "It's a lower level Gamma radiation.  Kind of close to sunspots but not really."

They all stopped to stare at him.  "Really?" Rodney asked.

Fargo nodded, getting into the system under his new login to find what he needed.  "There we are.  An older, semi-classified report.  Sorry, Dawn."

She waved a hand.  "Not an issue.  I can double check the exactness of the match without it."  She sat down on a chair this time.  Rodney could be such a crank when he didn't get enough of Abby.

"That does seem to match," Rodney admitted.

"The difference would be the point of origin probably.  This was made in the lab when someone was screwing around to make the H-Bomb more tight and less weighty.  They found that wave by accident."

Rodney grimaced.  "That's not a good sign."

"If it's naturally occurring, and it does feel that way, why is in some and not the others?" Dawn asked.

"ATA genes," Abby said.  Rodney gave her an odd look.  "Carson has it, Radek doesn't. You took the therapy and have it, mildly.  I redid your test myself to see how the proteins would combine, in case it'd come up with little deformed geniuses some year?" she prompted.  He blushed.  She kissed him with a smile.  "It's still in there even though it's not registering.  It's like a recessive for you right now."

"Faulty point," Dawn said.  "Xander's one.  Daniel had House test."

"I'm not telling anyone that so he can't come up and drive us all insane," Radek said dryly, cracking Dawn up.  "The consensus is that he'd get into worse trouble than SGA-1 ever could.  All by himself."

Dawn nodded.  "Yup, just about."   She smiled at Fargo.  "We have some greatest hits of Xander's past cases, the brave yet stupidly effective moments, on youtube."  He moaned.  "Oh, yeah."  She got into that file for him.  "It's only when he *has* to do something but now and then he has to."  She looked at Abby.  "Why are you showing it slightly, Abby?"

"I'm a recessive ATA carrier."

"Really?" Carson asked, smiling at her.  She nodded.

"Those kids will be worse than Sheppard," Radek muttered.  Rodney glared and Abby swatted.  "They will be.  They'll probably want to slack because of their parents' brain and will turn that giant IQ to mischief."

"I was like that when I was younger," Abby admitted.  Rodney moaned.  "My parents let me get into trouble, Rod."  She took another kiss.  "Okay.  So....."  She considered it.  "Could it be something like sunspots?"

Rodney shook his head.  "I've been trying to correlate why the shield flickers now and then.  I already looked at that explanation and it doesn't happen at the same time."

Dawn coughed.  "Could it be a subspace fluctuation?"  Rodney gave her an amused look.  "You guys use wormholes, right?"  He nodded slowly.  "Doesn't that disrupt something by forcing a hole between molecules?"

"It could be the gate but she's got it and she's never gated; Radek has a few times and doesn't."

"The gate's not the only wormhole around," Radek pointed out.  Rodney moaned.  "The Dadelus uses one too."

"Didn't you say something about another ship you found?" Abby asked. They nodded.  "Was Radek there?"  They shook their heads.  "Was Carson?"

"Once, and Radek was on it once as well shortly," Rodney remembered.  "But if it sticks to the ATA sequence...."  He moved to do a calculation.  "Why did you get slow computers, Abby?"

She sighed, moving his chair to another one. "Because my processor is half-used by the mega brain we have here for all the machines and internal server.  Plus probably some agency is trying to hack in again."  She moved to fix that, making them sorry.  She called.  "Danny, got the CIA again.  You might wanna yell when their hackers pout.  Tell them they can ask."  She looked at Dawn, spinning suddenly.  "Can you combine magic and hacking?"

"Um.... don't know.   I know there's technopagans out there.  Willow's first teacher was."

"Hmm.  That might stop them."  She smiled and spun to get back o work.

"The only way it's a wormhole is if it's one we haven't gotten to.  It's above the planet."

"Or it's on a planet you visited," Dawn pointed out.   "A tiny, pinpoint one maybe?"

"That's not a bad suggestion but the instruments would've read it."

"How many places has our instruments went funny?" Radek asked.

Rodney moaned.  "Too many.  How do we prove it?"

"Better question, can we prove it is the link between there and here," Radek countered.

"Actually, I think I may know what the connection is," Dawn admitted, getting up and heading for the library.  She found the book she wanted in John's hands and took it. "Thanks.  Need this in the lab."   She hurried back, handing it to Rodney since he'd snatch it from anyone else.  "Does that look familiar to you?"

He stared.  "It does.  It's shown up in a few drawings by some of the ancients of some civilizations."

Radek looked over his shoulder.  "I've seen that recently.  What is it?"

"Demonic.  An overlord that was fighting the order so he was pushed to a realm of his own.  He's trying to get back, has been since he got banished, and if you guys have it and we guys have it...."

"He's the connection.  He's pulling things in to try to get him free and plugging them down here when it doesn't work or the lock's down here," Rodney said.

John leaned in.  "Why are we worried about the theoretical demon that was the head of the third side in the ancient battles?"

"Locked in a wormhole or a made realm," Dawn said dryly.  "Not that theoretical."

"Do I need to know as a hunter?"

"We need to find all the other crap it's sent down here."

He considered it. "How?"

"We can hook a scanner into the satellites," Rodney said, moving to do that.  Radek helped once Abby and Fargo got him logged onto one.   They got a list of where that specific signature was.  He handed it over.  "Are those areas known hotspots perhaps?"

"Six of the ten are.  Two are abandoned and I'm not sure anyone lives in the other one."

Fargo pointed.  "That's Eureka."

Dawn smiled at him.  "Explains some things?"

"Yeah, it does."

John shook his head.  "I don't need to know, kid."

"This is the new Deputy Director and proofreader," Dawn told him.  "Douglas Fargo.  This is John Winchester.  He's over the slayer's daily life stuff and part of the training team."

"You've done a good job.  Watching them work out today scared me," Fargo said with a smile.

John looked at him.  "If they hit on you, run, kid.  You'd never survive it if they caught you."  He looked at Dawn.  "Do we need more references on that?"

"If you can get us some," she said with a sweet smile.  "Or Sammy can."

"Bobby has at least one.  Sammy can probably find others.  I'll tell Thomas you're looking."  He got handed the book.  "Give us a few hours."  He took the list and book back to the library.  "Thomas, Sammy?" he called.  His son came out of language lessons.  Thomas came out from dusting the artifact cases.  "This thing is apparently the link between Rodney's project and why Xander keeps getting sent stuff from up there."  Sam looked then moaned.  Thomas sighed in displeasure.  "They need to know.  Also, these areas have things from them."  He put down the list.  "We know the new geek is from one of them."

"Interesting," Sam said.  "Okay, let me finish class time and then we'll start researching."

"I'll call Bobby since he's got one," John agreed.  He went to do that outside.  Demons in space, what a charming concept that was going to give him an ulcer!

***

Fargo sat down to write the first email home, being careful not to mention the demon theory.  Though he did tell Henry about the strange radiation pattern they had found from the satellite to see if he could narrow down the area and see what else had been sent to Eureka so they could find a timeline possibly.  Then he sent one to Carter telling him he had seen the wilder, less science-capable version of him in one of the agents.  Who had a thing for leather pants and swords but he guessed that was just Xander being Xander.   Jo's was a bit more funny because he still idolized her.  Maybe they'd get to put Eureka under DCIS and then she'd have the whole armory to work with.  She'd enjoy that and Xander could teach her how to use a sword if she didn't know how already.

Zoe would go nuts with all the slayers as friends.  Sheriff Carter would go nuts watching them be friends and possibly bad influences on poor little Zoe.  He recounted the tale of dinner, where the girls had pulled him to their tables.  Mostly to interrogate and pick on him but it was in a nicer than usual way.  They had calmed some of it down when he had blushed.  Then Sam had gotten there and glared so they had stopped and just pumped him for information.  He wrote Vince about the cafeteria and how he had his own kitchen in his apartment.  And to please send on his cats.  He missed his kitties.  He logged off when he was done, going to take a shower and collapse into bed.  This had been a long day.  A very long day.

***

Dawn wandered out to the benches outside the slayer dorm, relaxing on one while staring up at the stars.

Dean shoved her feet out of his way and sat down so she put them in his lap.  "Thinking about going to join Rodney?"

"No."  She looked at him.  "I'm too much of a trouble magnet.  They'd be driven nuts by me."  Dean nodded at that.  "You?"

"Maybe if we get all the demons gone and stuff.  Who knows."  He looked up then at her.  "So why the heavy thoughts?  We heard that we may have identified the demon in the mystery wormhole or whatever."

"He's trying to get out."

"Charming.  Can he?"

"If he can find something that'll open the lock."

"Can he take you?"

She snorted but looked at him.  "Probably not."  He grinned.  "Thanks for worrying though."

"So why the heavy thoughts?"

"When I was getting Radek I saw a Knight of Dagon."  Dean looked clueless.  "The ones that came after me to kill me.  One was by his house and caught me bringing him here."

"Okay, do we think they'll try again?  Since you guys defeated Glory she can't use you."

"I don't know.  Wesley thinks no but I'm not so sure."

"Then we'll make sure you're protected, Dawn."

She nodded, shifting some to get more comfortable.  "I'm hoping it's nothing and I got Mom's worrywart tendencies but I'm not sure."

"If they come here, we'll knock them out and arrest them.  If they try anything we'll even keep Xander from killing them."

"Last time they tried to kill everyone who was protecting me.  Mostly arrows but a few did learn some more modern weapons."

Dean shook his head.  "We're better than any creepy knights, Dawn.  Dad's better and I'm better with weapons than he is.  And if we're not, Xander and both Jacks are."

"Good point."  She looked at him.  "So why are you out here?"

"Trying to make sure we don't have to traumatize Xander by making him answer guy questions."

"He'd do it for me."  She grinned.  "He loves me like my big brother should."

"So do I, kid."  He patted her ankle.  "Does anyone beyond Wes know?"

"Don't know."

"We'll make sure of it tomorrow.  Just in case.  We can talk to the European house and the girl in Rome."  She relaxed further, nodding some.  "If they come, they'll be stomped on until they see sense or are gone."

"Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome, princess.  Now, we've gotta do something sweet for Brenda soon."

"A few of us are working on the baby shower."

"Thanks.  Didn't want to prompt Sammy to go into mushy overdrive again."  She kicked at him, making him swat her knee.  "Quit."

"You're the one who picks on your poor brother.  Some day one of the slayers will kidnap him to treat him better."

"Sammy would pout and sulk them into giving in," Dean said dryly.  "He'd miss it if I didn't pick on him."

"You do know that you're showing us how to be good parents to our future hellions by how you treat Sam?"

Dean shuddered.  "I don't even want to see how spoiled Xander will make your kids."

"Some year, he'll have kids.  Or you might."

"If we're still doing this, he'll spoil ours too."

"Especially if they're Faith's," she agreed smugly.  "Then he'll demand to be a spoiling uncle."

"If so, I'd let it happen.  He's important to her."  He looked at her.  "When do we have to pack you into the dorm?"

"Apartment just off campus."

"They don't let freshmen do that according to Sammy."

"I'm not the normal student.  I've got a part-time job and all that.  Xander worked it out."

"That's cooler than the dorms.  Going to the frat parties?"

"With what Buffy found at frats?"  She snorted.  "No thanks."

He laughed.  "There's probably not going to be any dehumanizing beer."

"So?  Buffy found a guy who was breaking in freshmen for points too.  I don't need that sort of stress.  I'd kick his ass."

"She should've."

"Yeah, but she got him back during that beer episode."  She smirked at him.  "Though I might try a party or two.  Not to get blitzed because I know you, Sammy, John, Xander, and Buffy will be there the next morning to rub my hangover in, but maybe just to make some nicer friends."

"Sammy said he didn't meet his good friends at parties.  He met Jess at one," he said dryly.  She giggled.  "Or the bar, something like that."

"If I find a nice boy I'll let you guys vet him and Xander threaten him for me."

"Of course we will," John said as he walked behind them.  "Not too much longer, Dawn.  If you're here, you've got to do daily PT with the girls."

"Yes, John."  She smiled at Dean.  "The senior girls are coming in for more advanced training when?"

"Two days."  He smirked back.  "Gives me more to do than to work on the young ones."

She nodded.  "Then in a few years we'll have the other new ones, the present potentials."

"Yeah, we've got to start working on that in a few years.  Some are getting young kid self defense lessons."

"Two have hard drinking, not real fond of them parents," Dawn pointed out.  "And one's mom is a long-haul trucker so she travels with her."

"That's gotta suck like ours did sometimes," Dean said thoughtfully.  "We can start on them during the summers once they're school age."  She nodded.  "Did you notify them all?"

"Yeah.  They all know.  The two drunks are being monitored through the local police department thanks to Wesley asking them to.  If anything happens, their sealed files will go to Social Services the minute something happens.  The one whose mother is a trucker knows and agreed it might do her daughter good to be in a steady location for the summer."

"I can definitely see that.  She sounds okay."

"She's fairly decent.  I went with the notification team.  Buffy did too.  The mother was impressed by the super strength and all that and agreed if something happened, she was coming here or to Cleveland automatically.  Because she did know that auto accidents happen."  Dean nodded.  "So we have a good file on her.  The others are mostly with good families.  A few are with parents who can train them nearly as well as you guys can up to the slayer level and special skills."

"Even better.  The one girl whose father is bomb squad is very well trained.  She had some skills before she got here."

"She's doing pretty good in Canada this year."  Dean grinned.  "She said there's no people in the town she's in, but she likes it.  It's quiet."

"She'll be going to a bigger city once the major problem in that area is handled."

"I know.  She does too.  She's looking forward to being somewhere cellphones, email, and cable tv work."  Dean chuckled, shaking his head.  "She is.  There's like forty people in the town she's in."

"Yup, and about eighty vamps."

"Mostly gone."  He nodded he'd seen her reports.  "What about the special watcher classes I need?"

"You're getting most of them in practical education from Wes and us."

"I know but the others that came with Thomas said that there's still stuff I'd miss out on.  They don't like Xander's decision to keep me here for a year."

"They can blow, Dawn.  The council isn't the same as it was.  Even Thomas said that a lot of what he learned in special watcher-only classes was crap."

"I know.  Maybe they're just scared about the modern watchers being of a different class."

"Maybe.  Though you do have a lot more class than a few of those sleezy things."

"Well, yeah," she said dryly, shooting him a grin.  "Of course I am."

"Go to bed," Rodney called as he walked Abby back to her apartment.  "It's late, children."

"Just doing some heavy thinking," Dean called.  Abby came over to hug them both then went back to Rodney's side.  He smiled.  "They're cute."

"They are.  But their kids will make geeks cry for mercy," she said dryly.  He cackled, nodding at that.  "Even Sammy's future geeks."

"Sammy's future geeks will get tempered by me so they're normal people with big brains.  That way they don't have the normal geek problems with people.  Like that Epps brother."

"He is pretty nice and normal."

"Yeah, and down to earth mostly."  He shrugged.  "His dad did a good job and he's doing a great job on Cordette."

"She's so adorable.  She made Don buy her teddybear stuff for the new school year.  Charlie had to help because she was punishing him for not coming home for three days of doing math in his office."  He smirked.  "She's even got a coat that she said makes her look like one with her cap that has ears."

"I'm sure she looks adorable."

"We have pictures somewhere."

"I'll send her a letter after looking for 'em."  He patted her knee again.  "You should hit your bunk."

"I know, but I don't want to have the kiddy bedtime."

"Life sucks when you're young," Dean told her.  "Scoot."

"Fine, be a big brother."

"Hey, I'm a *great* big brother," he said, giving her a smug look.  "Just look at the job I did on Sammy."

"Fine."  She got up with a groan.  "Night, Dean."

"Night, Dawn."  She went to the slayer dorm and her room.  Dean stretched out to think.  He had to think about where he was going with Faith.  He had no idea if he was *that* serious or not since she was acting odd since they had gotten back.  Or maybe she was just scared again.  Who knew since she didn't tell him.  He was used to girls that told him things.  He looked at the slayer dorm then got up and went to sneak into her room.  He found her in bed and laid down next to her, letting her snuggle into his chest without him having to cuddle.  Which he would deny that he ever did.  Men like him didn't cuddle.

Faith sniffed a few times then blinked up at him.  "Did you sneak in?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Thought I'd let you think dirty thoughts about me by osmosis."

She blinked a few more times.  "Huh?"

"My studliness would seep into your dreams if you napped on me."

She gave his head a shove.  "I didn't need the help.  I need sleep."

"So sleep."  She frowned.  "Really."

"I'll kick you all night."

"So?  I have my own nightmares, Faith.  Yours don't scare me half as much as Xander's do."

"You slept with Xander?"

"He slept on our couch the other night.  He told me I was wearing cute boxers."

She snorted.  "My man, he needs his own."

"We're looking for one for him."

"Good."  She put her head back down.  "Shut up and put me back to sleep?"

He smirked.  "That's a sweet offer, but I was going to let you nap."  She put his hand where she wanted it so he took the hint, helping her go back to sleep while kissing her to make sure she stayed quiet so the others could sleep too.  She finally drifted off again so he let himself go.  She snuggled in again and he had to let her.  He was that sort of guy.

***

Rodney closed the door to Abby's apartment, looking around.  "No pictures of me?"

"In my bedroom so I can fall asleep looking at you."  She led him back there, giving him a kiss the whole way.  He moaned, looking around.  "Once the new building is done, I can ask to move in over there.  They're slightly bigger."

He pushed her down onto her bed, staring down at her.  "As long as that thing's comfortable, I'm happy enough here.  My own apartment on base isn't this big."  She wiggled up so she could take off her clothes.   He looked interested, staring down at her.  "Can we have breakfast here instead of with everyone?"

"If you want and you cook."  She pulled him down.  "You are wearing too many clothes," she said slowly and clearly.  He blushed but got up to strip then climbed back into her double coffin with her.  He had to wiggle some but she showed him how to get onto his back so she could tease him.  Even if her neighbors didn't like his squealing in pleasure, she liked it.  His neighbors hadn't liked it either but oh well!  He finally had enough and pulled her up to kiss her, taking what she was offering.  She moaned, stretching across him.  "Rod," she moaned.

"My forensic goddess," he said, thrusting up.

"My astrophysics god."

He smiled.  "I'm glad you think so."

"If I didn't, I'd be with Radek, Rodney."  He scowled.  She smiled and kissed him.  "Good thing I think you're more than special and good enough for me, huh?"

"Yes, it is, but I'll be jealous the next time he pats you or hugs you."

She kissed him again.  "We're only friends.  The same as you can't be jealous of Gibbs."

"Yes I can."

She sighed.  "You can be jealous if you want but he'll Gibbs-smack you too."  She took another kiss.  "If you don't hurry up and make me squeal I'm going to nap."  He got back to work making sure she knew he loved her.  She came against his fingers, making him happier.  She got him back and he was happier too.  "You never have to worry, Rod.  I'm yours and only yours unless you become terminally stupid and throw me away."

"I'd never do that. I don't waste resources and you are a splendid resource that makes my life support system work in an astounding way," he said back, smiling some.

She smiled.  "I should be scared that I understood that reference."  She poked him on the stomach.  "Ditto."  He laughed, kissing her again.  "Rod!" she squealed.  He smirked and moved backward to please her.

He ran into the footboard of the coffin, looking back then up at her.  "Do you mind if your next place has two bedrooms?  That way we have one to sleep in and one to play in that I can make you wiggle all over?"

She blushed.  "I'll see if I can find one."  He pleased her until she gave up and gave him what he wanted, which woke the neighbors up enough to make them complain and pound on the walls.

"Oh, do be quiet!" Rodney shouted back.  "She should always be this happy!"  She pulled him down to coo and cuddle, stroking his chest and stomach.  "I'm not that good, Abby."

"I know but you can be cuddled and stroked sweetly."  She snuggled in, falling asleep on his shoulder.

He smiled at her.  "I suppose I can stand not having feeling in my arm in the morning," he decided.  He pulled up the covers and ignored once again that they were in a coffin.  At least she had removed the lid for him.  The time it had fallen had been a very bad night for them.

***

Daniel walked up to the lab, pulling Abby and Rodney aside.  "I got three complaints about the noise last night," he said blandly, not smiling at them.  He wouldn't grin and embarrass them.  "If you two want to use the base to marry, you're more than allowed.  We can get your buddies from Atlantis down or do a second ceremony for them, McKay.   Until then, would we like to consider one of the more ...soundproofed apartments that're going in?  There's a nice set going up with the newest building."

"Can I have a two bedroom?" Abby begged.  "That way we have a bed that's for guests or when Rod wants to wiggle all over and keeps running into the walls of my coffin?"

"You sleep in a coffin?"

"Yeah, it's very comfortable."

"There's one apartment that Xander was going to decorate.  I can see why he wanted to decorate it since he likes living next to the Winchesters."

"Please?" she asked, bouncing some.  "I'm sorry I got so loud."

He waved it off.  "Abby, if you're both happy, I don't give a damn and I'd expect it to be a bit loud now and then."  Rodney blushed at that.  "Good relationships all get a bit loud now and then.  Sha're and I did."  She gave him a hug.  "Let me check on that one.  It's in the building House is moving into."

"Cool.  It's got the underground tunnel too.  Right?"  He nodded.  "Then it'll be fine.  Even if Xander did decorate it for someone else."

"I'm not sure why he was decorating that one anyway."  He went to check on that apartment, smiling when he saw the main bedroom that looked like a dorm room from the Harry Potter movies.  There was a *huge* four poster bed with heavy curtains and a fan above the headboard.  There were heavy velvet looking curtains.  There was a nice, thick rug laid down under the bed and through most of the room.  There were more than one closet too for some reason.  He called Xander.  "The one you were decorating, did you want it?"  He listened, then snickered.  "You had a vision about Abby needing a new place why?"  He said something quietly then hung up.  He called her.  "Come here, guys.  Bring Rodney.  Xander had a vision."  He hung up to look at the bathroom and kitchen.  Xander had changed out the tub for one of the old claw footed ones with a lot of room.  Gold fixtures.  Dual old style pedestal sinks with a large wooden dressing table/vanity between them.  Large, ornate mirrors over each of the three surfaces.  It was good for Abby's usual style.  He went to open the door when he heard her babbling.  "In here."

"He has visions about bad things.  Is it a bad thing?"

"No.  He had it as a part of another one."  He let them inside.  "It's very old English style, McKay."

"You could use my first name," he said stiffly.

"You didn't want me to the last time I saw you.  But okay."

Rodney took Abby's hand to look in the kitchen.  They had a lot of cupboard space, a lot more than her last one did.  They had a huge bathroom that she nearly bowed at the tub.  He tried the taps, then turned on the water at the shut off, letting it run.  He noticed the small remote and played with it, shutting off the water.  That blended his things with hers very well.  The remote handled the lights, to dim or lighten, and the built-in music player.  Plus it worked on the faucet to shut it off if necessary.  They walked into the mostly bare bedroom first, looking around.  "They do have a lot more room over here," he decided.

"My coffin and dresser would look *wonderful* in here," she said, looking happy.  "And my living room furniture would look good out there."  She pulled him to the other room, letting him gasp at the bed and her moan in pleasure.  "Oooh."  She climbed in and bounced a few times.  "He even put a fan in here, Rodney, and there's plenty of places when you want to tie me down again."

He blushed and coughed, closing the bedroom door.  "I don't think Jackson needed to hear that," he said dryly.  He peeked in, finding the fan did cure the feeling of being closed in.  He climbed in to test the mattress.  "It's a bit soft."

"I can get us a new mattress."  She kissed him, moving to cuddle him.  "This is twice as wide as my coffin."

"It is."  He smiled and flipped her over to stare down at her.  "I can do many things in here."

"Yes, you could," she agreed, playing with his collar.  "Later?  After we move?"

"We'll have to take some time to do that."

"I can beg the girls to help."

"They might try to confiscate some of your clothes or things."

She smirked.  "Only the sex toys and they know not to take mine.  They take some of the stuff Anya left with Xander when they don't want to use their allowance to buy their own."  She pulled him down to kiss.  "Do you like it?"

"Quite a lot.  It's a bit more...fanciful than I'm used to but it makes you happy."  She squealed and gave him another kiss.

"I'll leave the keys on the counter," Daniel called before leaving.  He didn't want to listen to her squeal.  He didn't need to know that much about McKay's sex life.  Or hers.  This one had more soundproofing too so they wouldn't keep anyone up.  He found John outside working with the younger girls.  "Can you have the ones on punishment help Abby and Rodney move over to their new place?"

"Sure.  Which one?"

"Underneath Jack's apartment.  Xander decorated it for them."

"He had a vision about her moving?  Is that a bad thing?"

"It was a point that something was going to happen soon."  He moved closer.  "He and Sam are right, there's going to be a base invasion soon."

"Dawn's worried about the knights that came after her for Glory," he said, staying quiet.  "Keep at it, girls."  He pulled him off to the side.  "She saw one when she was getting Zalenka."

Daniel grimaced.  "I'm not sure if it's them or this problem that they're looking at in the lab.  There's at least two months."

"We have plenty of girls on base.  Does Jack know?"

"Some.  Xander told him that we'd be having one sometime before the spring."  John nodded at that.  "So we know we'll have one."

"I'll go over the assault plans.  Before it was pile out and fire.  We need a better one.  I'll make sure Jack knows how the girls work."

"Thank you."  He went back inside to find his Jack in his small office.  "Abby's got the apartment under you now."

"That's fine.  There's soundproofing I'm sure."  Daniel nodded.  "McKay like the gothic period velvet and stuff?"

"She's happy so he is.  He told me to use his first name."

"Hmm.  She's humanizing him."

"I said they can hold the wedding here or have dual ceremonies."

"Sure, I could like that."  He smirked back.  "They're adorable but I'm hoping that there's no kids for a few decades."

"Yeah, me too.  They'd be bigger geeks than Sam and I together."  Jack nodded, laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his chair.  "Have you talked to Fargo?"

"Introduced myself."

"Good.  Also, Xander saw her moving as a key indicator that we're going to have another base assault."

"I'll get with the other Jack."

"John too."

"That's fine.  He knows what the girls can do better than we do."

"Thanks.  It'll be by spring but after Christmas he thinks.  He's not sure if it's what's being found in the lab or the knights after Dawn.  She's worried about that and noted it."

"I can get intel on what happened."  He got up and went to talk to her about that.  If it was possible he needed to know.  He found her in the caf and pulled her down to the armory.  "Xander thinks there'll be a base assault sometime this year.  You think it'll be those knights?"

"I don't know.  I'll be at school."

"Good point but we still need to know."  She sighed and left, coming back a minute later with her diary.  "This has all of it?"

"I added in pages as we found out more about them."  She settled into her chair.  "It wasn't a happy time.  We had just lost Mom too, Jack."

"Sure, I get that.  Can we?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Give us a research paper on it."  She nodded, going up to the library.   He looked at the arms master.  "So we have one.  Danny said that Winchester will be helping since he knows what the girls can do."

"That works for me," Jack agreed, coming over to look over the information.  "Why does she think it might be them?"

"She saw one when Zalenka was retrieved."

"Wonderful."  They sat at the work table to go over it.  Dawn came in with two more books and laid out an outline of their purpose, history, and skills as she knew it.  Then she handed it over and stared at them.  "We'll make plans for it, Dawn.  We don't want anyone that crazy coming here.  I might have to remember saving LA a few times."  She gave him a hug then left.  "She's sweet."

"Too young for you," Jack told him.

Bauer looked at him.  "Not like that.  I had one of those and that was enough."

"Sure, I get that," O'Neill said dryly.

"You?"

"Had one but she left after our son died."

Bauer nodded.  "My daughter turned into a spoiled thing that got in the way of the job on the wrong side."  Jack shuddered.  "Exactly."  He looked over the outline.  "Arrows?"

"They can always learn.  Any good way for them to get weapons in that part of the world?"

"Many."  He frowned, moving to check subtly on some of his contacts that way.  They didn't want them to suddenly show up with artillery while they were expecting arrows and swords.

TBC...

Back to DCIS Index

Table of Contents

Demon Criminal Investigative Service: Damned If You Do. 2

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Ghosts of the Past. 33

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Old Habits. 59

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Demonic Deals Gone Bad. 78

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Aftermath. 90

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Merging. 116

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Watching Over You. 146

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Giving of Thanks. 164

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Geeky Things. 232

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Holiday Visitations. 256

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Downtime and Duties. 274

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Helpful People. 302

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Real Families. 316

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Never Wish A Wish of Xanders. 337

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Interfering. 366

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Rites of Passage. 386

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Winchester Family Road Trip. 411

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Training You, Training Me. 452

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: News of the Worlds. 480

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership Drives. 501