Contents

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Starting Up Right.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership and Dues.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: To Slay Or Not To Slay

Chronicles of a Slayer by Stephni Warner.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Family

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Dreaming Big

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: New Roles to Play.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Red's Menace.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Recruitment

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Conventions

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Petting the Apocalypse.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Relocation.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Aliens Too Now?

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Partners, Teams, and Slayers.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Visitors From Another Strange Place.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Finding a Spot

Notes:  well, I like some of the ideas and don't like some of it so we'll see what we can pull up.  Ironically enough I had been having bunny nibbles about Xander being an agent and going out to recruit hunters for some sort of program.  But mine was more crack based than this one so I'll use theirs instead.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Starting Up Right.

The current president of the United States looked around at his security detail.  "Do we have *anything* on the person who assassinated the president last week?" he demanded.  They all shook their heads.  "Why not?  It's been a week!  Someone got it on film or something I'm sure!  Since it's on YouTube I'm definitely certain!"

One of them coughed.  "Sir, even if we could find out what did this, we're not sure what to do about them."

"What do you mean *what* did this.  I thought it was some guy in a halloween costume."

The head of the security detail walked over and called up a computer file for him, then let him see.  "The last president was deathly afraid of all things that were strange and unusual."

"I remember that," he agreed.

"So he started a project to figure out the strange and unusual and gave them whatever means they needed to find out about those things."

"Is this going to be something CNN will start shrieking about and I'll get inundated with letters over?" he asked.  The Secret Service agent nodded.  "Why?"

"Because he let them torture to find out medical information, sir."  That got a moan and the current president sat down with a sigh of defeat.  "It got to the point that some of the project's people defected and helped a few people in the town take them down because of what the two successive heads of the project had done."

He came over to read over the basics of the report.  "Are these like the guy who killed Fred?" he asked.

"Yes, sir.  We have identified the body as one of them," another one said.  "It was something that didn't fight back according to the records.  A quiet word to a few of the men on that prior project led us back to a group in England that have been dealing with this issue for centuries but we have no idea how to contact them so they can tell us how to get the thing that shot the last office holder."

The president looked at the file.  "What about these civilians who helped.  Would they know?"

"Perhaps, sir, but we're not authorized to tell them anything since this was highly classified and they don't have security ratings."

The president looked at him.  "I'm pretty sure if they took it down they knew what was going on.  Get one of them here.  Tonight."

"Yes, sir," one said, going to make that call.

"Politely," he called after him.  "I don't want to be shot by something that looks like a blue twig too."  He went to sit behind his desk.  "Where are the remaining people?"

"If they participated in the torture, they're in jail," the lesser agent said.  "Some were pardoned enough so that they're confined to Area 51 again.  Basically office arrest to the base."  That got a grimace of disgust.  "The soldiers on the extraction teams went to hunt for the UN's demon teams, sir."

He looked at him.  "The *UN* has demon hunting teams and we didn't have a clue?"

"It's fairly new.  They had hired private contractors to go release diplomats being held hostage or work in war zones where these things were active.  They even demanded to have the man who turned on his command since he clearly wasn't going to be using such inhumane methods."

"They took the traitor?"  The agent nodded.  "With what little I read, that might not be so bad.  Not everyone likes the idea of torture and I guess that's a good thing."  The senior agent came back.  "When will they get here?  I might need to arrange my schedule."

"Ten minutes, sir.  One's local."

"To....."

"Handle the assassination problem."

"Should we give them a medal since they're doing what we can't?" he asked sarcastically.

"No, sir, but we'll ignore them stepping on toes in a top level investigation," he said bluntly.  That got an eye roll.  Someone knocked then let two young women and a man in.  "This is them, Mr. President."

He looked at them.  "What, exactly, was the thing that shot my predecessor?"

"Harmless," the boy said.  "Until your predecessor tortured his family in front of him and then started on him."  One of the girls elbowed him.  "He's got to know by now, Willow.  It's the truth."

"It might be but you have manners.  I made sure of it."  She looked at him again.  "He's right but that wasn't the most polite answer."

He looked at her.  "I don't give a damn about polite, miss.  I want to get to the bottom of the reason the last President of the United States was assassinated and make sure it won't happen again."

The blonde girl nodded.  "We'd like for the Initiative to not come back too, sir.  As for that one, we were told he committed suicide since he took out the one who killed his family.  They showed us the remains so we could make certain."  That got a slow nod.  "So the threat is no more."

"That's good," he said, looking her over, then the redhead.  Then the young man.  He stared at him.  "What needs to be done to make sure it doesn't happen again?  I can have people announce that the Secret Service found the shooter dead when they found him."

He shrugged.  "To keep it from totally happening again?  Keep from torturing them.  Make sure that if they're dealt with on a case it's by someone who has a clue.  There's a system in place and most of the time they stay out of the way."

"There's a group in England that have been training slayers and doing all the research for centuries," Willow agreed.  "They have all the books, all the research, and control all the slayers.  They're the girls who take care of things when they get troublesome."

"So there's a vendetta war?" he asked.

Buffy shook her head.  "No, sir.  I handle the ones that hurt humans.  Those who hunt humans, eat humans, hurt humans, break their bones, all that.  That's my predestined calling.  We don't particularly *like* the head of the Council right now.  He's a butt.  We really don't like him."

"We were going to have one of those baseball bats with your head talks with him if he showed up again," Xander agreed.  Willow elbowed him again so he scowled.  "I was."

"He doesn't need to hear that!"

"Again, it's honest," the president told her.  "I like honest, young lady.  Being socially polite in this situation is going to lead to later problems.  How often do these sort of things impact regular people's lives?" he asked the young blonde girl.

She shrugged.  "In Sunnydale, all the time.  In LA we have a problematic law firm.  We had a few friends there who handle that city.  There's rumors of so-called rogue demon hunters and those who hunt spirits and things to handle them.  The Watchers only watch over slayers," she said at his astonished look.  "They hate the others for jumping into what they see as a slayer's job.  Personally, I'm more than happy to live in one town and protect it instead of having to fly everywhere all the time to handle things.  I'd never get any beauty sleep and I'd get very cranky."

He blinked.  "What about in the rest of the world?"

"They have slayers in training all over the world with their watchers," Xander said honestly.  "That's how they train the girls.  Which is one of the things our group doesn't like about them," he admitted.  "They're very ....bottom line oriented to put it nicely."

"Whatever wins their war works, even if it makes their people expendable?" one of the agents asked.  All three young people nodded.  "I'd hate that too."  He looked at them.  "Could agents be taught to handle these sort of matters?"  They all nodded.  "Are there books, classes?  Would this group teach?"

"Probably not them but there's Watchers they fired," Willow said.  "Giles taught us, he might be able to teach a few more or tell you who to find."  She walked forward and wrote down a phone number.  "That's the number to the Magic Box.  Giles runs it and he's Buffy's Watcher."

The president nodded.  "So, there's no national or international cooperation, nothing that can be called a cohesive plan, nothing like that?"  The boy shook his head. "Should there be?"  The boy shrugged.  The redhead nodded.  The blonde looked a bit queasy.  "Training others so you only handle the worst things, ma'am."

"I'm not that old," she whined.  "I know I didn't get much sleep but I'm only twenty."

He smiled.  "Fine, miss then.  I'm sorry."  She nodded and grinned.  "Why do you like the idea?" he asked the redhead.

"Because information sharing is a good thing.  It might mean that more people could handle little problems like vampires on their own."

"They're real too?" the president asked.

"That's the majority of Buffy's job," Xander told him.  The president moaned. "There's also more than one type."

Buffy nodded.  "We only really deal with one species but Dracula was *really* annoying.  Came out to test himself against me.  Tried to take my watcher and boyfriend."

"I can see how that'd be a problem since they're you're support network," the head agent said diplomatically.  Xander shot him a look. "Some of it anyway."  The boy rolled his eyes.  "Why don't you think it'll work, kid."

Xander looked at him.  "Because most people don't want to acknowledge that strange things happen.   How many of you thought it was a halloween costume until we got here?"  Everyone in the room raised their hands.  "Fighting this sort of thing means that you have to drop that.  It's very uncomfortable for most people and most people can't stand the patrol mentality we had to grow over the last few years.  Staking vampires is still hunting and killing former humans."

"That's a good point," the head agent agreed.  "I know plenty of agents who couldn't handle that sort of detail.  Some who could but you can get burned out like you can in any war zone."

"We do our best to mix fun nights in and take the time to unwind," Buffy assured him.  "We're not going to go spastic and do the same thing to people."

"Good," the president said.  "Any idea how we can contact the guys in England too?"  Willow wrote down an email address and an online domain ID.  "They're online?"

"They have a few translators and things that we have to get into now and then.  A lot of their books are in other languages.  Especially a special form of Church Latin."

"Keeping them the only ones with the information," the head agent snorted.  Xander nodded.  "You read it?"

"I do.  I read that one and a few of the other ones.  I learned the hard way, looking every word up as I came to it."

"That's something to consider then," the President said.  "Will this...demon's family come after us as well?"

"He doesn't have one left," Xander said.  "Most of his clan was taken by the Initiative."  That got a nod.  "The two or three that're left are young.  They've been taken in by other clans.  We assured them that the Initiative was no more and wouldn't be coming back after them.  That the system had taken care of their own.  Even if some of them are hunting for the UN with semi-decent information."

"Semi-decent?" the head agent asked, starting to frown.

"They got some atypical cases," Willow said firmly.  "And didn't care if they had control or not."

He nodded.  "Is there a training manual of some sort?  An identification manual so we can alert our people?"  She nodded, pulling a few books out of her pocket and unshrinking them.  "That's handy."

She smirked. "Very.  Means I can pack a lot more for us."

"Still doesn't work on all weapons," Xander said dryly.

"What do you prefer for things?" the lesser agent asked.

"We use a lot of crossbows, stakes, swords, and I have a battle axe," Xander said honestly.  "There was an incident where we had to use artillery."  That got a wince from the agents.  "We ...took control of it and used it an hour later."

"Bought?" one agent asked hopefully.

"National Guard.  We figured they didn't want to die either," Xander said bluntly.  "They never said anything."

"No, they made a note," the president said.  "It's one of the incidences that got the Initiative started.  The last president was deathly afraid of them coming after him."

"Most demons would only come after him if he had done something like a deal with them," Willow said then shrugged. "Sorry but truth," she said at the angry looks.  "Most of them only come when it benefits them."

"Some people are paranoid anyway," Xander reminded her.

"Good point.  Sorry, didn't mean to besmirch his memory or anything."

"No, knowing Fred, he might have back in his stupid youth days," the president admitted.  He leaned back, looking them over.  "We're sure it's done with?"  They nodded. "Thank you for handling that so we wouldn't have to, kids.  If something like that happens around DC again, we'll call out to you to see how to handle it."

"Of course.  Or I have email," Willow assured him happily.  "Buffy and I are in college at UC Sunnydale.  Xander's not but he's around town somewhere."  That got a nod.  "Anything we can do to help, let us know, sir."

"I will, miss.  You three have a good trip home."  They nodded and the lesser agent escorted them out of the White House.  "How did we know they were local?"

"One of the interns said something about them being nearby when I was calling.  So I let him make the call."

"This intern?"

"Said he did not want to know, he was staying out of it, he wasn't like that and it wasn't his duty."

"Get him in here."  He went to find him for the other man.  The president took some tylenol for his headache.  The intern was walked in.  "You knew what it was?"

"Yes, sir," he said honestly, hands behind his back.  "It was fairly obvious it was a demon."

"How did you know?"

"I graduated from UCLA and there's a few more of them out there.  I've heard rumors about the blonde girl who was just here and I've kept track of it in case it became necessary to save my life, sir.  That's her job."

"It's a lonely one to do on your own," the president said.

"From what little I could find out about her and her calling, sir, she's lucky she's been alive this long," he said bluntly.  "Most girls last about a year.  She's lasted since she was fifteen."

He grimaced.  "That's good odds.  Any idea what the difference is?"  He shook his head.  "How many threatening ones are in town?"

"No clue, sir.  I only know who you call on if you have those sort of issues."

The president nodded.  "Know anything about the group in England?"

"A little bit.  They're more secretive than the Masons."

"Probably have to be," he agreed.  "I want copies of your research."  That got a nod.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Mr. President."  He went to his office to gather up what he had.  The rest he'd have to get from home and he could duck out later to do that.  When the agent showed up an hour later, he smiled a bit.  "It's mostly at home."

"I can give you a ride."

"Thank you."  He walked off with him.  "Is he going to turn as paranoid as the last one?" he asked as they walked out together.

"Probably not.  Frustrated.  A bit disgusted."

"Not all of them are disgusting."

"No but if only one girl and a few people here and there handle it, how do we keep it from becoming a national emergency?"

"That's why she's in Sunnydale.  That's a front line spot of where it'd start."

The agent looked at him.  "Any idea why?"

"A lot actually.  That I was able to find."  They got into the car and headed for his house so he could get the information they'd need.  Before the slayer had to come back to DC and handle something else.

***

The president looked at the man who was let into his office the next afternoon, looking very tired.  "We have an issue and you're one of the people I'm going to for the solution."

"Yes, sir," he said, saluting him.  "I saw what happened but we were out of the country.  Did you need us to hunt down the hostile and kill it?"

"No, son, it committed suicide after your last group killed his whole family in front of him," he said bluntly, staring at him to see how he reacted.  He got a small flinch but that was it.

"According to what source, sir?"

"The small blonde lady who came out to handle it for us, Soldier."

"Buffy?" he asked, looking confused.  The president nodded.  "How did ...  The news?"  He nodded again. "Then at least he won't be a problem."

"Son, did it not occur to any of your people that you could be creating a worse problem?"

"I had uneasy feelings about the torture and that our former head was trying to create a monster that was going to take over the world, sir.  I was not part of the investigative branch.  I was not one of the ones who did the interrogations of the hostiles either.  We were told they were going to find a good use for them within the military to spare soldiers' lives."

"I see."  He considered him. "If we had to set up some sort of national system to handle such problem cases, how would you do it?"

"A national hunting team, sir?  I can definitely suggest some of my men.  We're used to it and can train other soldiers in the duty."

He shook his head.  "No, not a hunting team.  I don't want the same sort of problem that we've been having since the one who assassinated the President was a harmless one until you folk got him."  The solider flinched at that.  "I was thinking something like the FBI to handle these sort of cases and take appropriate action when one was involved.  Either to protect them when people got involved in their business or to handle it when they did something wrong."

"Sir, there's not a lot of harmless demons," he said.  "No matter what they think."

"Every dog has a bit of wolf in it," the president agreed.  "It's only a problem when you push them to that point, Soldier.  We want to prevent it from getting to that point."  That got a shudder.  "I see.  I'll want whatever sort of classification material you had and I can't find who did the investigation."

"Most of us were Army, sir."

"That's fine, I'll look it up through them then.  Dismissed, soldier.  Good work with the UN and I hope you find those you need to find soon enough."  He nodded, saluted, then left.  The president grimaced.  He did not like that 'they're beasts to be hunted' mentality.  What he had found on that website had been a bit astonishing.  He had found one who was working on a piece of music a demon had created that was supposed to be a prophecy.  If they had languages, music, and art - which they did according to what he found - then at least some of them were as sentient as human people were.  Which left him with a major problem.  He went back to the files, finding another mention of the special investigative team that had closed it down.  He called his head of security in, holding up that page.  "Who?"

He looked then smirked.  "The bane of the coffee maker, sir."

"Gibbs?" he asked, looking confused.  "Why?"

"He doesn't play politics, he doesn't care who you are if you need to go down, and he was in between cases and able to travel for long periods of time.  He's seen combat and some of the worst things so he could stomach some of the details from out there.  He and Todd worked on it from what I heard."

"Then why didn't he say anything when the tapes started to come out?"

"He's been in the middle of nowhere for three weeks, sir.  A missing Marine that was presumed killed in a state forest.  From the reports I've heard when I checked, they finally found her body yesterday and the killer this morning so they're on their way back.  He might have tried to call in but no one was taking any calls but the tip line and I can check to see if anyone else called in mentioning demons."

"Knowing Gibbs' reputation they were probably rough camping and didn't even get a radio signal," the president muttered, earning a smile and a nod.  "When he gets in, I want to see him ASAP.  After his first cup of coffee and shower."

"Yes, sir.  I'll pass that on.  Anyone else?"

"Not sure yet.  This is looking to be a problem."  He looked down then back up at him.  "Did you some of them had created art and music?  That there's many demon languages?"

"I hadn't.  I didn't think they were all rabid beasts with the way the kids were acting though."

"Apparently they're not.  That Finn boy offered to help me find people to start a national hunting team."  The agent shuddered.  "That's what I was thinking."

"We'll talk to Gibbs, sir.  He's usually got some decent, plain, simple ideas.  He might this time too.  I'll pull his reports if I can."

"Thank you."  He nodded and went to do that while the president went back to reading.  He was not particularly proud of his government at the moment.

***

Gibbs walked in and saluted.  "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"I do.  Sit, Agent Gibbs."  He sat, looking at him.  He waved the folder.  "I'm sickened."

"So was I, sir."

"Good.  Then we're in agreement.  How do we keep it from happening again and handle things that get into the public domain?  Finn wanted to nominate some of his people for a national hunting team."

Gibbs shook his head.  "Not totally practical.  As far as we could tell, there's not been a lot of crossover.  Some in a few major cities and they have detectives who're basically shunned but handle it for them.  The present system seems to work well enough but the last one tipped it with the Initiative and it created some problems."

"What happens when humans bring on their own problems?  There's some that appear to be sentient and even more advanced than we are, Agent Gibbs," he said at the stare he got.

"I figured there were, sir, but why would they bother us?  I'd assume they'd live in protected enclaves or protect themselves in some way so we'd never know.  The same way people who apparently use magic do.  We don't hear about more than the bad or rip-offs among them."

"True."  He studied him.  "Do you think it's going to become a problem?  If they're living in protected areas and those areas are shrinking due to logging and other industries going to the places we didn't used to, then what?"

He grimaced. "I don't know, sir.  I'll be honest and say that I don't think it's a present issue.  It may be one in twenty years or so."

"Then what?"

"Then I'd assume the present system would work to handle it."

"Do we think they will or do you think I should start to make plans to appoint agents who can handle it and investigate?"

"An NCIS for demons?" he asked with a small smirk.  That got a nod.  "You'd still get a lot of people who thought like Captain Finn, sir."

"I know.  Training and exposure seemed to cure that in the people who're actually handling the situation."

"Some.  Some are still 'kill all the evil bastards', sir."

"There's people like that in every agency."

He nodded.  "You'd have to give them a way to handle things.  You'd also have to figure out how to contain the bad ones if you wouldn't let them hunt them down instead.  You'd have to create a whole agency, including research division, to handle it."

"So a decommissioned base?"

"Could work but you'd have to be somewhere pretty understanding.  I heard that some of the hunters do work with the other side if they're decent sorts."  That got an odd look.  "I can't call them people, sir.  They're not.  I know from what we were told that the main one in Los Angeles is actually a vampire who was cursed with a soul.  He's got a half demon, a former watcher, a female seer, and a few others who help.  Including a vampire hunting street gang."

The president grimaced.  "So even the bad guys aren't all bad."

"Apparently not.  Personally I'd say the system's not broke, support it instead of creating a lot of headaches for people, sir."

"I'll take that under advisement.  Would you transfer in to work on that?"

Gibbs stared for a minute.  "You want me to be honest, sir?"  That got a nod.  "I'd quit and kill myself first, sir.  I can't handle that level of strangeness. I don't want to handle that level of strangeness.  The night I got done with that inquisition I slept under the boat because I was too drunk to make it to bed.  I did the same for the next three nights to make myself forget that happened, sir.  Not just because of the torture.  Abby is as strange as I can stand most of the time."

That got an understanding look and a nod.  "I can see why.   Know anyone who could?"

"Agent Todd handled it relatively well but she and a priest had a few long talks when she was done.  You'd need people with flexible minds who could accept anything and move on with it after a shrug.  People like Abby, sir.  Or people who already knew and were affected.  That might get you more hunters than not though."

"I'll consider that, Agent Gibbs.  Thank you for your input."

"Not a problem, sir.  We did get that one?"

"Three very nice young people from Sunnydale came out to see if they could handle it and found out that one had been tortured by the Initiative.  Him and his whole clan.  He reacted in grief then committed suicide.  They were shown proof of it."

That got a nod.  "Good.  They handle everything else.  If you need more help, you can ask, sir, but I only know enough to figure out that the people were doing wrong."

That got a small smile.  "Thank you for the honesty, Gibbs.   Good work in the woods from what I heard."  That got a nod and Gibbs saluted then left.  That created a whole new facet of his plan.  He looked up the information the intern had on the LA group.  What Gibbs had heard was true, they had a vampire in charge.  The former Watcher, now that was an idea he could get behind.  He'd know who to talk to about what was going on.  He had to be in LA in three weeks so they'd see if they could arrange a small talk with him.

***

The president looked at his council six weeks later.  "I have been doing a lot of looking into things after Fred was shot by a demon," he announced.  That got a few winces from his advisors.  "What I found out sickened and amazed me.  We have about fifty people who handle all this for us and are barely holding onto it with their toenails.  A few detectives in major cities who have run into it and know so they're shunned.  A group in Great Britain that's hoarding knowledge by keeping it in strange languages, though I am told they have most of it translated to English for personal use, and are keeping things secret so they can turn some young women into perfect soldiers for their turn at the calling of hunting these things."

"Are we looking at what to do to aid them?" one asked.

He looked at her.  "Yes.  There's a few ideas I've had.  I've thought about a small department with information that the ones already doing it could access.  That way they'd have information on what's coming, how to handle it if it's harmful, and could start to track patterns of problematic creatures.  They could send out subtle alerts when problems were hitting an area."

"That sounds good," she said slowly.  "What's the problem?"

"No one would trust them," another said.  "The present ones we have work in secret as well and they don't usually talk to each other either.  Or so I've seen when I've looked over your shoulder and sat in on some of the interviews."  The president smirked and nodded.  "Then that leaves us with encouraging them to do that or going larger."

"I talked with the person over the inquest into the program that got Fred shot.  He said that either they can handle it or we're going to have to handle it but if we do we're going to need to set things up to handle both sides.  Because not all of them are bad and not all of them are dangerous.  But we can't put the ones that are in a normal prison."  He smirked at them.  "One of the ones who handled the demon who shot Fred showed up in my office late last night when I emailed her questions.  Magically."  They all hissed.  The head of his protection detail shuddered.  "I'm sure you had a talk with her?"

"With her and a few others about how possible it was to do that, how to protect against it, all that, sir.  She's very sorry she made us panic."

"Good.  Will I have to wear strange symbols or amulets?"

"No, sir.  We can do some pretty simple things to protect your office from them getting in again. She said the framework had been there but your predecessor had them taken down because it creeped him out."

"Good to know."  He looked around again.  "So you see, there's a problem and a major one, but it's not all a *bad* problem.  Some of it's us bothering them.  Some of it's them trying to hide.  Some of them are bad.  So what do we do?"

"Do you like Gibbs' plan?" the head of his detail asked.

He considered it then nodded.  "I can see that we might need it some day, yes.  I'm not sure if we'd want to build up to it or start it there like we did with the FBI."

"We could start with the informational offices," the lone female advisor suggested.  "That would get us agents trained in the right way to handle things.  Then we could ramp it up after something major happens.  Let them be the first pick of the new unit."

"We're talking massive resources," another advisor said.  "From prisons on down to the new agency's expenses."

"One prison and we could convert a closed one.  The same as we could convert a closed base."

The president nodded. "That's what I was thinking for that part.  I'm not sure if we want to start there or move up."

"Moving up from the lesser level would get us more trained officers and agents quickly," she said.  "How large are we looking at?"

"We're hoping a central agency with a few local, small offices.  Nothing as large or as grand as Homeland.  They'd have their own RD department however."

"So, somewhere between the FBI and Homeland at their startup time?" she said.  He nodded.  "Would we want the prison close by?"

"We'd want them to have a protected position.  I'm seeing a need for guarding against assassination," one of the other advisors said quietly.  "If the bad things know that there's new people in town that can go against them then they're going to handle it."

"One of the worst is an international law firm," the president announced.  "Wolfram and Hart."  He smirked.  "We are canceling all contracts with them by the way."  That got him a horrified look by his head agent.  "We had three different contracts with them.  When I talked to the group in LA, their city's defenders, they said they had everything from bio- hazard labs down to demonic deals for souls and power.  They own a few politicians."

"So we'll have to be covert," the female said.  "The informational offices, can it help the other sort?  The scary, isolationist, hunter sort."

"They have their contacts and we can talk to them," the head agent agreed.  "Everyone in that life would realize it was a demon who shot him.  I'm sure they're waiting for us to react somehow."

She nodded.  "So we start lesser and work on the plans to come out sooner."

"The problem is that we had a charming talk with someone who went spastic during it," the agent told her dryly, smirking some.  "A seer."  She went pale.  "There's worse things coming.  We have to have it set up within two years.  At that point we won't be able to deny things."

She shuddered. "So we'll be covert until then.  The CIA did it for years."  They all nodded.  "Where do we start?"

"Infrastructure.  The contacts I had are getting information for us.  None of it's on computer.  The people in England only translated anything that's been useful in the last fifty years to English.  The rest are mostly older, telling what's possible of happening, or older information.  He also said they're having internal problems.  Miss Summers, the blonde who came out to handle the demon for us, wasn't raised to be one of their perfect soldiers and people are starting to wonder why she's lasted so much longer than their carefully trained, bred, and instructed ones ever have."  That got some gapes.  He nodded.  "They've been ...acquiring, usually by parental consent after scaring the crap out of them, their destined hunters and training them as soon as they know one's been born.  No parents, only their future Watcher."

"What if a watcher's weak in an area?" the agent asked.  The president gave him a horrified look.  "Even agents can't be great in every field.  They have standardized training but even commando teams have people who specialize or have a better touch with some areas than others.  There's a semi-standardized education for the girls.  They handle whatever's going on wherever they are, even if they're not all that powerful until they're called.  They're trained as quiet commandos.  One teacher, one student, and if the teacher dies she gets another one.  Miss Summers wasn't found until after she was called."  He tossed down a folder. "We finally got a full background done on her."

He took it to read over, nodding at it.  "She was a ditz," he said blandly.

"And pretending very well to still be one," the agent agreed.  That got a nod of understanding.  "There are two however."  He tossed down another file.  "Half and half, their Council found her as a teenager in a bad part of Boston's underground.  She had a few years of training before she was called.  She slipped and got a human by accident."  The president switched to that one.  "We have to make sure that they're taken care of too.  Because if the bad things are truly serious about trying to take over the world, the first thing they do is go after those girls. Or their precious Council."

The president looked at him.  "Will it?"

"Some of them are stupid enough to try to bring hell to earth, sir.  Yes."

"Charming."  He went back to comparing the two.  Then he looked at them, passing them on.  "I personally think it's wrong that a handful of people protect this country from things that Homeland should but can't protect us from.  That's their job and it overlaps but Homeland would arrest them in a heartbeat."

The advisors looked at it.  "New base or old base and we rehabilitate?" one asked him.

"That's what I want opinions on, people.  That and how to set it up.  I never had to set up a full agency before."

They nodded and started to draw up plans.

***

A Year and a Half Later

***

Xander Harris looked up as a dark sedan cruised by the house again.  "There's a Fed mobile outside," he called to Buffy.  She came to check, shrugging and grimacing then going back to the kitchen and her sister.   He walked out to meet them. "Are we having problems?"

The agent looked at him.  "From what we've heard recently you've been having a lot of problems, Mr. Harris."

"Oooh, not good," he hissed.  "Did Anya sign my name on her parking tickets or something?"

"Cute, kid.  I'm with a small, closet sized department in Homeland Security that watches over your back."

"Excuse me?"

"We've been the ones who've been handling the information that's been getting around. We've also been the ones making sure other hunters get the right information instead of crap that sometimes gets spread around."

"Giles!" Xander shouted.  He came jogging out. "This nice agent is with Homeland Security and they've been helping us do our job.  Including giving other hunters information."

"Thank God," he muttered. He shook his hand.  "Is there a problem today?"

"Many.  Including that you have little girls in there that need to be safer."

"Only three are younger than fifteen," he admitted.  "That's when Buffy was called and those that are agreed they're staying so they're safer."

"We can keep them safer than you can, Mr. Giles.  Like we have the other six we've helped you find and rescue."  Xander smiled at that.  "Exactly.  We have a whole base for them to be safe on and people there who can help.  If you'd let us, we'll take them there tonight."

"To do what?" Giles asked.  "Train?"

"That's not my job, Mr. Giles, that's yours and your people's.  My job is to make sure information gets to the right sources and right now to make sure you don't have to worry about non-combatants and people who could tear your attention from saving the world.  We've been working on this for a while now.  Since the president met Mr. Harris and your girl."  Giles gave Xander a horrified look.

"After the president got assassinated.  We got called in to be asked about what was going on.  The Oval Office is very nice.  Buffy never mentioned that?"

"No," he said impatiently.

"It was all three of us, Giles.  He wanted to know why, what happened, was it dead, that stuff."

"Because of that talk, the President and his advisors set up a small office within Homeland that makes sure the people who do the job you do have the information you need, including tracking information since we do keep track of statistics and migration patterns."

Giles blinked at him.  "You do?"  He nodded.  "Where did you find the girls?"

"Mostly in some protected areas.  When the building in England got blown, we made some calls to people who know in other countries.  Your people usually worked with them and we managed to save some of the girls that way.  They passed them back to us and they're on our new base.  We have a fully recommissioned, restructured, rebuilt base waiting on your people if something too bad happens and we've got plenty of room for the girls you can't risk having here because they can't fight."

"Four of the older girls can't fight either," Xander said quietly.  "They're pretty pitiful, Giles.  They're lucky they know what the term sparring means."

"I've seen that.  That would decimate who we have available."

Xander shook his head.  "There's more older girls coming?"

"Eighteen.  All over the age of seventeen, mostly all well taught from what we've heard.  There may be more we don't know of but they're on their way here and should be here tomorrow sometime.  That would let you evacuate the people who can't fight and those who're too young.  The ones who have people who'll worry about their safety like Buffy's younger sister."

"That is another matter entirely," Giles assured him.  "Come inside while we speak with the others."  He nodded, coming in with him.  "Buffy?"  She came out of the kitchen.  "Did you go to the Oval Office a few years back?"

"Um, yup.  After the last prez got shot."  She looked at the agent.  "What's the dt?"

"Homeland Security has a whole office devoted to getting demonic information and migration patterns to the hunters who need it," Xander told her.  She nodded slowly at that.  "Probably since we got found."

"A few months later," the agent admitted.  "We talked with a great many people before we took any steps.  Our new office is a newly restructured base in the middle of the country.  We have some of the younger girls we managed to save thanks to our allies there already."

"So you want the other younger ones?"

"We do, and those who can't fight or would be a liability.  Our projections staff think that this is going to be another true battle, like graduation, instead of like it was with Glorificus.  We've found some older girls and they're on their way here, being escorted."

She smiled.  "We can make that trade.  I want Dawn to go."

"Agreed.  She's a non-combatant.  We'll gladly remove anyone like that who needs it.  We're also going to be stationing a few agents here to start with a town evacuation if we need it this time.  We think it may be necessary.  Our projections staff was thinking this could be something that could impact the whole west coast if it went too badly."

"I can see why," Willow agreed.  She looked at Buffy, who nodded.  "I can get them for you."

"Good.  We'll switch out in the morning."

"You're taking Xander to watch over them," Buffy said, stunning Xander.  "They trust you, Xander.  They won't trust them."

"Point," he admitted, "but a bad one.  You'll need me if this is a real battle."

"You can plan it and email it," Willow reminded him.  He gave her a dirty look.  "Not like Sunnydale's going to suddenly change streets and things, Xander.  The girls will need some stability since theirs has been taken already and we're moving them."

"Fine.  But I'm bringing some of the weapons with us."

"We have plenty of guns, Mr. Harris."

He looked at him.  "Which are nice and all but do jack shit against most everything," he said bluntly.  "Did your dossier forget to mention I'm the weapons manager around here since Giles hates modern weapons and I've been taking things from the vampires for *years* now?"  That got a whimper.  "Exactly.  If Sunnydale goes up, we need to clean some things out of here.  Including the whole roomful of dark artifacts next door because they probably won't help things."

"That is something we should think about," Giles agreed.  "I thought you were selling those off through Angel's contacts, not hoarding them, Xander."

"Depends on what they are, Giles.   I found three mega bombs last year and I wasn't about to let someone like Deadboy's evil law firm get it."

"That's reasonable," he agreed.  "That is a good idea.  Is it not, Agent..."

"Sommers."

"Agent Sommers then," he said with a small smile.  "Related?"

"No sir, o instead of u."

That got a nod from Buffy.  "Another common spelling.  Let me get the girls.  They can help you move the stuff, Xander."  He nodded, heading off to get his stuff as well.  She looked at him.  "If Xander mentioned it, you'll need a truck."  She looked around. "Spike, we need a truck!  Xander's moving the harmful weapons and stuff off the hellmouth!" she yelled.

"Warehouse three," Xander yelled after that. "Plus my storage area since I've got Giles' spare books.  Giles, pack the rest of the books.  If you end up in an evac you won't have time."  He came out with three boxes, a suitcase, and two duffel bags.  "Spike, need a good truck and two drivers," he called.  "Heading inland.  Middle of the country."

"Got 'em headed," he said, coming out of the practice room.  "We sure?"

The agent stared at him then nodded.  "Our projections state this one could be a problem that's felt all up and down the coast and we're preparing for a worst case scenario.  Total town destruction and evacuation."

Spike whistled.  "That's bad, mate."

Xander nodded.  "Exactly.  Buffy, make assignments."  He looked at the agent.  "You found how many other girls?"

"We've found six that're under seventeen and the eighteen we have that're over that age."

That got a nod.  "So we've got a slow down or they went after the younger set first?"

"The rate of the slayers' births has always wobbled a bit but there's always been an increase when we'd need them to be the right age," Giles admitted.  "The spells that created the slayer made sure of it."

"So we won't need so many in about fifteen years," Xander said.  Giles nodded.  "At that rate is it just a slowdown?"

"Probably not," he admitted.  "It could mean we'll have more lasting longer due to this.  I would hope that's the meaning."

"Or that whatever you have to pull could need both slayers," Xander agreed.

"Faith is out of jail and headed this way, pardoned as long as she helps," the agent said quietly.  "She's coming with the other girls.  You'll need two with real experience.  The agents we're leaving here are all combat veterans, Mr. Giles.  True combat, not guarding the border fence or a DZ zone but had to fire on someone and fight for a good bit sort of combat experience."

That got a nod of understanding. "I think that would be most helpful.  They do know their precautions?"

"They do.  They know how to stake, behead, and shoot."  That got a smirk from Xander.   "The basics.  If they're needed for this battle, you have our permission to conscript them.  Let them do an evacuation first if you can."

"I can do that," he agreed.  He looked at Xander.  "Do behave."

"I'm always good.  I'm not Willow.  I don't try to summon the siberian tiger cub to pet it."  Giles walked off shaking his head and muttering.  He looked at Spike.  Then at the agent.  "He needs to know where they're going."

Agent Sommers handed him a map with a circled spot.  "The base there.  Only one in town.  The whole town has had to deal with demon issues in the past so they'll ignore you and not stare."  That got a nod and Spike went to coordinate.  "The other stuff here?"

"Will be on the second truck," Xander promised.  "If this goes pear shaped I don't want them in hell for their amusement.  Bus, driving, flying?"

"You lot will be flying in.  We have transport waiting in LA.  You're to meet it with the girls going in the morning.  Then we'll switch and the ones coming in will come up."  That got a nod and Xander went to pack a few last things onto the trucks.  Marking them clearly just in case.  The agent went to help Buffy brief them.  He found her speaking Latin.  "Common language?"

"For research," Dawn agreed.  "Why am I going?"

"Because you can't fight, yet," he said.  "Until you can, you'd make your sister worry more.  Like we heard she got your mother out of the way for graduation."

"I did," Buffy agreed.  "I can't be worrying if you're okay or not, Dawnie.  I'd love to have you here to make sure but I want you safe."

She nodded.  "I can agree to that.  Then what if the town's tanked?"

"If the hellmouth's closed, we move," Giles said simply.  "We'll arrange things with the agents while we arrange for things at the new point."  That got a nod.  "You'd be a forward scout at that point."

"Good enough I guess," she sighed.  "Books?"

"Every last one of them," Giles agreed.  She grimaced but she and the girls went to pack their stuff then to help with that.  The new helping agents came in to help load the trucks with the demons Spike had gotten them.  So it was going to be okay.

***

Xander looked at the base then sighed.  "Not all that safe," he muttered.  Dawn looked at him.  "Too open."  He shrugged.  "It'll be fixed I'm sure."  They were let onto the base with only a pause at the gate.  He looked up then at her.  "Magic?"  She shook her head.  "Huh."  They were parked in front of a building.  "Barracks?"  The driver nodded.  "Thanks.  Girls, this is the barracks.  Let's set up."  They followed, grabbing their gear from the back of the truck following them.  Inside was a solider with a clipboard.  "Bunks are where?"

"We have room assignments, Mr. Harris."  He let him have the clipboard.  "Whatever you need can mostly be found on the map behind the room assignments."

"Good.  We'll need a practice area first of all.  Food too.  Slayers eat like a herd of teenage boys each."  That got a nod of understanding and a small smile.  "C'mon, girls."  He led them up, giving them each a room.  The door keys were in the doors so that was nice enough.  "When you've dropped stuff, had the potty break, called someone if you need to, we're meeting in the yard behind the building.  If you find any of the other girls, bring them too."   They groaned.  "Business as usual, ladies, and if something happens we might need you too."

"It'll keep us from getting bored anyway," Dawn quipped.

"Easy for you to say.  You'll get a nap," one complained.

Xander snorted and stared her down.  "No she doesn't."  Dawn smirked.  "I have *no* problem training Dawn Patrol there in how to patrol and save her own butt.  Even if her sister doesn't like it, every girl should know some self defense training.  If only so she can keep the slimy guys off her butt.  Now, drop stuff, potty, meet me out there with the other girls."  He walked on, finding his.  He dropped his bag, went back for the other stuff to drop that then headed out there.  He smiled at the girls waiting.  "Good morning, ladies."  Most of them jumped.  "I am Xander.  I'm Buffy's friend Xander.  I hunt with her.  I'm here as your chaperone, trainer, and temporary watcher until things get calmed down in Sunnydale with the First Evil.  For right now, we're going to be setting up a daily schedule and work on your training.  Because *everyone* gets trained.  As soon as you can do it safely.  Am I clear?"  They nodded.  "Good."  The others came out.  "Someone get Caroline and the others please."  They went to do that.

"Are any of the ones who were originally here missing?"  Two girls nodded and went to find their friends.  He looked at the other girls.  "As you girls are older and more responsible I'm going to be buddy systeming you with one of the younger ones.  That way they have a big sister to lean on when you both have nightmares.  I'm sure they're getting slayer dreams if you guys did," he said honestly.  That got a nod from the older girls.  "Dawn, you're included in that.  Take the little white haired one there since I know she's a witch in training."  She nodded, going to talk to her.  The others appeared.  "Good.  As I was saying, you older girls are going to be doing big sister duty.  You're going to be there for nightmares for each other, buddy system around the base, all that.  Any comments so far?"  They shook their heads.

"Good.  Since this base is particularly open, we'll be looking at the idea of security patrols within the barracks later on tonight with the people here.  Their job is to protect us.  I don't want any of you to have to fight but I will be teaching you how to fight in case it comes down to needing to.  Because I'll be *damned* if any of you die on my watch.  Good enough?"  They nodded but a few grimaced.  "I know it's not fun but it can save your life and it'll keep you from worrying about them.  Plus it'll let the people here do their jobs instead of humoring us.  Therefore, today we're going to see who knows what.  Some of you have no training.  That's fine.  A few of you have some training.  That's also fine.  We'll start back at the beginning and move up from there."  He smiled.  "Now, pick your buddies, girls."  They did that.  "Good!  We'll start working with them today then we'll move into age groups later."  He pulled an older girl out to work with her.  "First, this is how you fall," he said, showing them by moving her body for her.  She squealed but wasn't hurt.  "Now you try it."  They did it for him.

The base commander watching smirked at his style.  "He shows some training."

"Prior possession," the agent beside him admitted.  He was technically over training.  He'd watch for now.  "Not bad though.  Who is that little white haired girl?"

"Her mother works in computers."

"Will she mind?"

"Probably not.  As long as she doesn't turn into Rosenburg."  That got a nod of understanding and they continued to watch the girls train with their little sisters.  "What was he complaining about?"

"The base is too open.  Too easy to attack.  What we've said a few times."

The commander looked at him.  "We did what we could.  They wanted to put everything underground."

Xander strolled over, smirking at them.  "There's no guards or wards on the gates.  Anything and I do mean *anything* can get through them, over them, under them, or around them.  You have *nothing* to tell you when magic is working on base probably.  You have no patrols of beasts that can tell demons or half demons.  I'm keeping the girls as close together as possible.  Got it?"  They nodded, looking amused.  "Good."  He smiled.  "Fair warning, each slayer, no matter how old, eats like a herd of teenage boys with an unlimited credit card at the mall's food court.  Every meal."  He walked off again.  "Tickle fights are only good training if you're teaching them how to get away," he called as he walked, smiling at the one who was doing it.   The younger one got away and kicked her on the leg.  "Good strategy!" he praised.  She beamed at him.  "You got away, that's the important thing.  Remember, the first rule of slaying is You Will Not Die Without Our Permission.  Unless we're standing there with you, there is no dying on shift.  If you die, you die in your shower because you slipped on the soap.  Not in a battle.  Got it?"  They nodded.  "The second rule is you do *everything* possible to make sure you live rule one every single time.  No matter how tired you are.  I don't care if you just came off patrol.  There is no dying, anytime, anywhere, at all.  Until we give you permission."  They nodded and got back to work with the younger girls.  He smirked at Dawn.  "Her mom works in Computers."

"That's fine.  She's a good girl and it can only help her when she's older and liking boys or whatever."

That got a smirk.  "Good.  Then why aren't you practicing?"

"She's having a potty break."  The girl came trotting back out and Dawn got back into it with her.  Xander had been helping her learn how to defend herself for the last year so she knew some of the first few lessons.

Xander watched his new pack of girls.  "Damn I feel like I'm their dad," he muttered.  He went to help a few who were having problems then got them moving onto the next step - getting up from falling.  They'd need it sometime.

***

Xander watched the news a few days later, grimacing when he saw what was going on.  They had the girls in one of the underground areas with the regular training master today while he watched the updates.  He felt a tiny arm go around his waist and looked down. "Hey, Dawn."

"Bad news?"

"Massive earthquake so far.  So whatever Willow did that activated all the girls earlier is going off now."  He went back to watching.  "Buses," he said, pointing.

"Your evacuation plan," she said, relaxing some.  "Buffy will be on the last one."

"If at all possible all the girls will be," he agreed. He watched the people coming off the bus.  "There's my drunken uncle."  He kept watching.  No parents.  "Did they evacuate more people last night?" he called.

"Yes."

"My parents make it out?"

"Refused to move," someone reported.  "They said to shoot them."

"Did we?" he asked, turning to look at them.

"Thought about it but we were running behind.  The ones this morning were to get to them, Mr. Harris."  Xander nodded, turning back around.  He rolled his eyes.

Dawn squealed and bounced and pointed.  "There she is!  She looks wiped!"  She found the phone and called.  "You look like you need a kitty nap."  She smiled.  "Where?"  She nodded.  "I can get that.  Want me there, there?   We're doing good.  Xander's been doing some minor self defense work with us to keep us out of trouble and to help with slimy boys later on.  Sure."  She handed the phone over.  "Buffy."

"You good?" he asked.  He listened to her complain.  "Because we want her able to beat boys off her the way you used to," he said dryly.  "They do like her already, Buffy, and it'll keep her from having to rip off a steering wheel like you did with that one football player."  He watched her image on the tv blush and walk off.  "So yes, I've been working with all the girls here.  Even the little ones.  I've got a big sister program set up."  He listened to her complain.  "Buffy, hush.  They need it.  They were activated too."  She said something to Willow, who moaned.  "That's right, not just the ones there.  That means you've got a six- year-old girl here who's now a slayer.  Where are you guys heading?"  He nodded at that.  "Good enough.  Tell us and we'll join you wherever you need us."  He hung up and looked up at the ceiling.  "Why did you plague me with selfish bitches?" he asked the ceiling.  He looked at her again.  "She's fine but cranky."

"Wonderful.  I can't date?"

"No.  Tough shit because I'm realistic, but no."  He smirked.  "Let's go."  She nodded, walking back to the training area with him.  "It looks like nearly everyone made it out okay.  We'll be emailed a sit rep from LA tonight when they get there, count noses, all that stuff.  The scramble out of the hellmouth was too fast to see who was missing so far."  That got a few shallow nods and worried looks.  "There was a bus full of slayers, girls.  I'm pretty sure we got everyone out or nearly everyone.  If not, we'll handle it.  Until then, we go back to it.  Willow didn't realize she had activated you girls too."  They all groaned.  "Gotta happen.  You're now target number one for the dark side.  Welcome to being a padawan."  The girls groaned at that joke but got back to it with him.  He took the youngest to work with.  She was the most vulnerable of all of them.  The dark side had no problem with attacking kids.  Someone came in.  He tracked them walking over to talk to Dawn.  "Problems?"

"Rosenburg did a nose count.  You lost three and three civies, sir, I'm sorry."

Xander handed her to Dawn and walked over.  "Who?"

"You ex, Andrew, and one of the witches that came to help," he said quietly.  "Three of the slayers we sent as well."  He nodded at that. "You don't...."

Xander held up a hand.  "My graduating class had a fifteen percent death rate," he said quietly.  "The least in at least a decade."  That got a shudder.  "I'll grieve later.  Did we recover them?"  That got a head shake.  "That's reasonable I guess.  Any word on the town?"

"Sucked in."  He nodded and Xander followed to look at the remains of the town via satellite view.  Xander hissed and sat down, staring at the destruction.  "We're debating things right now."

"Rope it off," Xander said firmly.  "Those who have family buried there, they can have someone dig them up later this year.  For now, it's Love Canal, the demon version."  He looked at him.  "If you don't someone can go back to it. Anyone who didn't evacuate?"

"Whatever closed the hellmouth sent out a flux of power.  It registered pretty high on the meters we just put up to tell us when it was opening.  It looks like it fried anyone left, sir."  That got a slower nod.  "I'm sorry about your parents."

"I'll grieve later."  He stood up to look.  "Bodies in the graves?"

"Not sure."

"Could it have transported instead of killed?"  The agent shook his head.  "We're sure?"  He enlarged one view and Xander looked away, nodding at the body that was laying in the street with her dog on its unneeded leash.  The picture was restored to normal magnification.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  We'll quarantine the town and have someone check the bodies."  That got a nod and Xander left.  He sent those orders up to the base commander.  He'd call whoever to make it happen.

***

Xander walked into the Hyperion that night, nodding at them.  "Willow, that energy flux?"  She gave him a confused look so he took her laptop and logged her into the site the computer tech had given him to show her if she didn't know.  She looked and gasped, bringing others.  He looked at Buffy.  "Dawn's fine.  I told her.  The girls held a small memorial earlier and they're in quiet time tonight in the barracks."  He got out of Giles way.  "They agreed to barricade the town.  No one in or out."  Buffy sighed but shrugged.  "Anyone left, the ones who decided they wouldn't evacuate ..."  He pointed at the screen.

She looked then moaned and walked off.  "We tried."

"I know."  He stopped her.  "Bodies in graves were cremated," he said quietly, staring her down.  "Someone with ground radar machines went to check.  Ashes and only ashes."

She slumped.  "We're sure?"

"So far.  They checked your mom's first," he said quietly.  She gave him a hug and he squeezed back.  "It'll be okay, Buffy.  We'll handle it."

She pulled back to look at him.  "A six-year-old slayer?"

He nodded.  "She's pretty cool.  I've been working with her to make sure she could get away from people if she had to.  She's Caridad's little sister."

"Literal?" Giles demanded, turning to look at him.

"No, not literal. I set the girls up on the big sister system so they could each handle one of the younger ones we have.  We have nine under the age of ten."  Giles shuddered.  "And one witch whose mommy works on the base that Dawn's been working with.  They're doing okay.  It's kept them safe so far.  They know if something happens tonight how to evacuate and to where.  Because the base is kinda open."  He looked at her. "They're okay.  You do what you have to do.  Send the other girls to me if you have to.  They agreed we can shelter there for a bit if we have to."

"The next hellmouth is in Cleveland."

"We're in lower Illinois."

"So not far?"

"Next state over."  She smiled at that. "It's fairly safe.  We've got guards around us."  She gave him another hug.  "Any idea...."

"The Turok-Han," Willow said, coming over to give him a hug.  "How're the girls?"

"They're okay so far.  I've had them starting back at the beginning of self defense training.  Even the littlest one.  She's going to need it more than most."

"I'm working on how to uncall," she said.

"That's cool.  What if the girls want to hit their original families?"

"Some of them may not have any," Giles admitted.  "We're not sure.  Are the agents getting pushy?"

"It was suggested they might want to check into that option.  The same as ones that no one found might not want to show up for training."

Giles sighed but nodded.  "We'll have to work on that."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "I'm sorry, Xander."

"It's not your fault Anya went into the assault or that my parents refused to evacuate, Giles."

He frowned.  "They did?"  He nodded.  "Then I'm very sorry."

"Xander, we want you to slow down," Buffy said.  "We've got a few watchers left and we're not sure what's going on yet."

He smiled and patted her on the cheek.  "Shut up, Buffy."  She gaped in horrified anger.  "Good.  Now that we've got that settled.  I'm still working on the younger girls.  They need it and you don't train worth a damn.  I'm betting most of the watchers left are research watchers.  Why go after them?  They can't hurt them.  They'd be a later target."  Buffy whimpered.  "Someone's got to work on their training.  Just because Sunnydale's sunk and Cleveland's new doesn't mean there's not other bad things out there that'll come for them. Especially the younger girls.  They'd be seen as weaker and evil is lazy.  They take out the weaker ones first."

Angel cleared his throat.  "He's right.  They would.  There's all sorts of demons trying to figure out how to take advantage of this right now."

"Including some near us," Xander agreed.  "We're a few hours from Chicago and I know there's some there."  He looked at his girls.  "Someone's got to do it.  You can't train, Buffy.  You do things instinctively but you can't help when someone's not able to do what you can.  You proved that when we were running training in Sunnydale.  You need Willow to do her computer stuff right now and then get ready to ward the new building or whatever.  Giles may be in control of a lot of shit that he has no idea where it's going."  He looked at Giles, who sighed but made agreeing noises.  He looked at her.  "You have *no one* right now to keep those girls safe.  I'm doing that.  I'm also here to repossess any you don't want to have here right now.  That way they can get medical treatment and try to sleep through the nightmares.  This many slayers in one area is an invitation to someone like Wolfram and Hart.   One little bomb and the whole slayer network goes," he said quietly.  Angel moaned and set people out on watch.  He looked at her again. "Who am I bringing with me?"

"We can travel with them," Willow complained.

Xander looked at her.  "How?"

She frowned.  "What do you mean how?"

"How are you going to get forty people to Cleveland?  The agents who headed there earlier said the whiplash of the hellmouth closing here started to open that one.  It'll be fully open in three days they think."  She shook her head.  He nodded.  Then he got into those readings for her.  He pointed.  "See?"  He looked at Buffy again.  "You have girls who need medical treatment.  You have ones who need some serious help after their first fight, much less a battle.  We can protect them while you plan on running to Cleveland."

"Can they help us?"

"Military transport will only move twenty-five at a time, Buffy."

She grimaced.  "So we've got to leave some."

"Or let me take them since I've got medical facilities set up where I am."

"Xander, you're not going to be a watcher," she said.

He smacked her on the forehead.  "Your mother would be disappointed that your dumb blonde act wasn't an act tonight, Buffy.  What part of you don't have anyone else to do this didn't you get?  It's us or it's you and you can't do that right now."

"He's right, B," Faith called.  "Even if he is pushy."

"For a good reason," Xander said.  "Need help putting that shoulder back in place?"  She nodded so he helped her with that, making her moan but it let Wes wrap it.  "Giles?"

"We can evacuate then relieve you of duty later," he agreed.

Xander looked at him then snickered.  "Sure, Giles.  You can call when you get frustrated at having a whole building full of girls who don't care what you think."  He looked at Faith.  "You want to come?"

"I should go with the older girls.  We'll take the ones who aren't shell shocked."  Xander grinned.  "Good?"

"Good plan.  That'll work."  He went with her and Wesley to gather the others.  They trudged listlessly but it'd be better for them.  "We have room for four more if we need to," Xander announced.  "Last trip to Illinois until Willow gets people to Cleveland."  A few more girls came forward and he nodded since there was one too many.  "We'll deal.  Buffy?"

"Fine.  Whatever.  We'll get them when we have somewhere set up."

He watched her stomp off then looked at Faith, who shrugged. "Further on in that site, under my name, is a plan that the guys worked out and found for space," he said in her ear when he gave her a hug.  "If Giles likes it, good.  If not, let him find his own."  She nodded and he left with the girls.  The agent grimaced. "I'll sit up front if I have to."

"That's fine."  Xander helped the last one into the last van and checked, smiling and loading Willow's cat as well when it came running out.  Then he got in his spot in the front one and they headed back to the airstrip.  It bumped an agent coming out but oh well.  They got out of there and were in the air when an emergency message passed through the airwaves.  The agent came to get Xander.  "Problems," he said in his ear, leading him up front.

"What happened now?"  He crossed his arms as he listened to the replay of the notice going out.  He groaned.  "Let someone know where we're going?" he asked the agent.

"Already did.  They said they're unconscious.  Not dead.  We don't know what happened."

"Wolfram and Hart," Xander said.  "They're LA's major problem and they wanted Angel.  They had fifteen slayers in that building."  That got a shudder.  "It was a tempting target.  That's...that's how I talked Buffy into letting me take the girls with me.  Just in case this sort of thing happened."

"Faith wasn't there.  Willow wasn't identified yet either.  That former watcher, Pryce, was with Faith."

Xander frowned.  "Angel?"

"There.  Unable to wake up too."

"That means it's magic."  That got a nod.  "Remind someone he's a vampire?"

"Already did, sir.  They'll make sure he's not put in a well-lit room."

"Thanks."  He went back to the back.  "Girls."  They looked at him.  "Maybe I am a seer."

"Why?" one asked.  "Did Wolfram and Hart attack?  I know you were angsting over one."

"They're all in some sort of magical suppression," he said honestly.  He grabbed onto an overhead strap and looked back at the change in altitude.  "We're landing already?"

"Orders, sir," the agent said, looking grim.  "They wouldn't say who ordered it just got a general to order it."

"Fuck."  A few of the girls flinched.  "You're safe.  Don't stress."  He looked at the agent then at them.  "The good news is Faith and Wes weren't in the building.  They can handle Cleveland."  That got a few sighs of relief.  He frowned.  "Call the base, get the girls into safety."

"Already done, sir.  Figured we should lock down."

Xander frowned.  "Off base.  Even if it's only indigestion."  That got a nod and he made that call.  He looked at them.  "If something happens, you let us handle it.  You duck.  You only use enough skills to get away.  Am I clear?"  They nodded.  "Good girls.  I'm proud of you and how you made it so far.  If at all possible, this shit is stopped tonight."  That got a nod.  "Just relax.  We' ll be fine."

"Sir, buckle in," the agent said.

"Xander, kid.  Don't sir me right now."  He sat down and buckled in, mentally calming himself down while they landed.  They taxied out to a transport truck.  "Won't fit all the girls," he said calmly.  The door opened from the outside once stairs were up and he looked at the man coming in.  "You would be?"

"The new head of the Watcher's Council," he said.  "Who're you?"

"If you were really a watcher, you'd know," he said, standing up to get into his face.  "The girls are going somewhere safe.  Then we'll straighten it out.  They had their first real war earlier tonight.  They don't need this."

The watcher laughed.  "Who're you to say anything?"

Xander shoved him out of the plane, watching him roll down the stairs.  "Xander Harris.  Giles' second in Sunnydale.  Backup to the Slayer.  No matter what sort of coma she's in."

"Get him!" he shouted.

Xander pulled the agent's gun and wounded them all.  "Let's not play this game, boys.  I'm not a happy camper."  They backed off as sirens came closer.  He handed the agent back his gun.  "You want or me?"

"I'll go."  He walked down the stairs, holding up his badge.  "We're escorting some girls from LA to Illinois.  They had us land under someone's authority.  All we know is this one tried to come up to and claim the girls we're escorting."

One of the MP's looked then at him.  "Why are they injured?"

Xander came out of the plane and sat on the top of the stairs.  "The girls were in the battle in California earlier.  These nice people just tried to claim them. If they had been who they said they were, they'd know who I am.   They didn't.  Told me all I needed to know and when one got pushy I shoved him down the stairs.  He told them to take me out, I shot back with the agent's gun.  Now, can we go?  I've got twenty-eight fragged teenage girls after their first exposure to combat.  We need tissues and stuff soon."

The MP's looked at each other and one made a call then nodded.  "You have authorization to leave, Mr. Harris.  Please report back to base."

"Something happen?" the agent asked.  The MP nodded. "The girls?"

"I'm told they're safe, sir.  That's all I know."

"It'll be another hour before we get there," Xander said quietly.

"More than that," the agent said.

Xander looked inside then at him.  "You ride herd."  That got a nod and he jogged back up the stairs.  "Do whatever you have to so they're safe."  He called.  "It's me.  Come get me.  Now."  He took the agent's gun and walked down the stairs, going into the portal that opened.  It closed and he came out the other side, looking at the dark basement.  "Dawn?"  She shh'd him and pulled him down beside her.  The portal finished closing.  "Watchers?" he said more quietly.

"Supposedly.  They have two of the girls."

He nodded, looking around in the dim light.  The youngest one waved and he smiled, waving back.  He checked the clip then reached over to take another one.  "Stay until I clear it."  He snuck up the stairs, finding them trying to board it over and he could smell gas.  He moved to the side and kicked, knocking it.  Then he started to fire on people.  They screamed and died.   He cleared the rest of the building.  "Dawn, now," he called.  She came out and they snuck off to the cars.  "I know I taught you to drive."

She nodded, getting them into the truck.  Then she got in to drive.  "Where?"  He whispered in her ear.  "You sure?"

"Very.  Hide there.  Call that number I gave you for emergencies.  If a trooper stops you, tell him the truth: there's people who just tried to burn you guys alive and you're going to safety.  Let them call ahead."  She nodded, driving off.  "Good luck, sprout."  He called it himself.  "It's Xander.  I'm calling in a super emergency.  I've got Dawn and twelve of the fifteen young slayers headed your way in a pickup.  Someone's trying to finish what the Bringers did.  We're in Illinois.  That's why you.  She's driving by the way.  I've got two missing and another student.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and went to look.  He found where they were.  Their hostage takers weren't happy when he gutted them both.  He got the girls free and called EMS.  They showed up and he checked ID's.  "They go right to a secure wing.  The two on the ground were part of the group that broke onto the base to kill them."

"We're to take them to the base hospital, sir.  Medics are waiting."

"The rest?" a cop asked as he walked in.

"Going to safety."  He looked at him.  "Joe."

"Xander."  They shook hands.  "You sure?"

"Dawn was driving the pickup truck."

"Good."

"The base?"

"Messy," he admitted.  "Very messy.  Your girls?"

"Bad shape," he sighed, following him out.  "They were going to burn the ones in that store so there's gas on the floor."

"I'll tell the fire department," he promised, doing that.  Xander got a text an hour later saying the girls were safely where he wanted them and she had left a message for Faith and one of the girls on the plane she had been updating about her cousin.  He nodded, going to handle this.  When the plane landed, the new girls got escorted there as well.  Just in case.

***

Xander stood up as the man walked in.  "Mr. President.  You could've called."

"Not for this I can't, son."  He shook his hand.  "Watchers?"

"A rogue band who wanted full control from Giles.  We're working to figure out what sort of spell is keeping the others down.  Faith's went to Cleveland to handle it.  We've sent two of the older girls who decided they could handle more stress back to LA to handle it with someone else that we trust who wasn't in the building."

"Good.  Now what?"

"I have no damn idea," he admitted, cracking the older man up.  "I'm doing good to keep the girls from crying, sir.  Honestly."

"Which is what I need."  He sat down across from him.  "Most of the base people you knew were temporary, until the new unit took over."

"Sir, if we're staying here, there needs to be some major security upgrades."

"I know, son.  That's why you're not staying here.  This one was temporary as well.  The real one we had to do another bit of fixing after an inspector got pissed at us."  That got a knowing smirk.  "Exactly.  I'm getting the new head of the DCIS agency tonight.  I'll need you to brief him and help him finish recruiting.  I've got some for you but not a lot."

"LA has an FBI team that's dealt with Sunnydale before.  They came after graduation."  That got a nod so he wrote down the name he remembered.  "If he's still working he'd be good to help the girls."

"I'll put that around and if not I'll ask."

"There's a Detective Kate Locksley or Lock something that was working with Angel now and then.  She knows it all."  He wrote that down as well.  "I think she was homicide.  If she can't handle it, she'll know who to call."

"Agreed."  He looked at the boy.  "Are you staying on, son?"

"I'd better.  The girls will pout anyone else to death, sir."  He laughed but nodded.  "Honestly, Buffy didn't want me so I was going to offer.  I have no idea why but they decided I wasn't going to be in Cleveland anyway."

"I heard that from Faith a few hours ago.  She said it was to protect you."  Xander gave him a pointed look.  "I know and so did she.  She said Buffy was on a girl power trip, whatever that means."

"Special girls do special things.  She was the mother of all slayers."  That got a nod.  "So she's on a power trip.  It's not that uncommon now and then."  He scratched his left shoulder with his right hand.  "I don't know what to do next, sir."

"First, let's keep the girls motivated.  There's hope to wake them up soon.  Wesley said that they think they know the spell and have found some witches who can help."  That got a nod.  "So we'll get the new agency head tonight and take you and the girls to the new base."

"Thank you, sir.  You could've been a bigger asshole about this."

"The guy after me already knows too," he assured him smugly.  He had decided not to run for reelection and the newly elected president had already been briefed and gone over everything.  "Let's get you all settled."  Xander walked out with him, finding the girls getting into a truck with their bags.  "You can ride with them."

"Thanks."  He went to jump in and looked at his girls.  "We're set up.  They've been creating an FBI type agency for demons for a while now.  The base we were on was a temporary headquarters while the real one got done.  Okay?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Dawn, have you talked to Wes?"

"Twice since we had all the stuff.  He's already signed on but I didn't understand what he meant."

"That means he's part of us too."  That got a nod and they were off.  "We'll be there soon and it'll be okay.  I'm sure we can figure out what we're doing next, ladies.  Then we'll deal with stuff."  He let the youngest one cuddle him.  "Ooh, such a silly girl."

"Am not," she complained.

He smiled. "Yes you are.  You're cuddling me instead of Miss Kitty."  She went to hug the cat again.  She had adopted Willow's cat.  No one had yet found Willow in the mess in LA. "Brenda, when we get there, you're the oldest so you're this month's dorm mom."  She nodded at that.  "I may or may not be handing out room assignments this time."  She smiled and so did the other girls.  "We'll figure it out.  Nothing else to do this week after all."

"Hey, it's a few less hours of training," Dawn quipped back, cracking up the younger girls.  All of them *really* hated to train.

***

Tony DiNozzo looked up as the person who had invited him to a business dinner showed up, standing up with eyes wide.  "Sir, I wasn't expecting you."

"Sit, DiNozzo.  I'm not a girl that you have to stand up for."  He sat down and the agent sat across from him.  "I have a doozy of an offer for you and you're going to curse my name for years."

"That sound suspiciously like a desk job," he said blandly.

"Sometimes.  A new agency is starting up."

"I've heard rumors."

"They're building from the ground up and people already know you exist.  There's already been problems."

"That's what the rumors were about.  A base raided."

"Seventeen people killed," he said.  Tony winced.  "An attack in LA that left a lot of people in a strange coma.  A lot of girls who'd be mentored by those in the coma that now don't have one."

"Does this have to do with the girls' army that came out of Sunnydale by the rumors the FBI heard from LA ATF?"

"In part."  He pushed a folder over.  "It's still considered a classified agency."

Tony read through the materials, which was a lot of filling in spots in the rumors he'd heard.  He finally put it down and sipped his wine.  "They need a good senior agent?"

"They need an agent over everyone," he said blandly. "Once you've got things set up you can fall back to senior agent.  I think the next guy has a person in mind for head of the agency.  You'd be pro-tem.  Then fall back.  He's already agreed to that.  We need someone who can set up working teams of people with flexible thoughts.  The girls range from six to twenty-one.  Some of them are already off handling problems.  You'd have people with some knowledge but you've got issues that you need to step on immediately and setting up some foster families could help.  You'd have a RD department to start stocking too.  You can pick anyone you want as long as they won't out the project and they can deal with the subject matter you'll be handling.  There's a very few experts left."

"I saw that."  He sipped his wine.  "Why me?"

"They could use a bit of Gibbs' style of management now and then but they've got to be able to deal with civvies.  Once the new year starts you'll be dealing with cases whenever a PD or agency needs you to.  You'll be dealing with those in the coma as well.  They've been moved there.  Gibbs didn't like it when he had to sit on the board to end the last president's project because it contained torture and other sweet, fluffy things like that."  Tony shuddered.  "There's going to be some like those people were.  There's going to be some who can't take the knowledge.  You're flexible enough to deal with strange things and Abby both."

"Can I recruit her?"

"If you can sneak her past Gibbs' chains."

He smirked. "The director at NCIS is a bit of a pain in her butt, sir."

"I can understand why, son."  He smiled at the waiter.  "I'll have the chicken and orzo."

"Don't, sir.  It's dry tonight," Tony told him.  "Try the beef dish on special.  It's good.  I had some for lunch."  That got a nod and the waiter wrote that down.  "I'll have leftovers from lunch."  He grimaced but went to put in their orders.  "We had a stakeout here earlier."

"I heard, that's why I picked here."  He smirked.  "Figured you wouldn't have to change clothes."

"Nice of you, sir.  Thank you.  Why me?  You have so many better candidates."

"Not with your mind, your style, your training, and your abilities to put together cohesive units.  Recruitment will be your challenge."

He shrugged.  "I can think of ten off the top of my head, sir."

"Good.  You need about three hundred all told."  Tony chuckled and nodded.  "Then you'll do it?"

"As long as I don't end up the permanent agency head, sir."

"Like Gibbs is, you'll be sub-head and only do that when there's an emergency."

"So I'll have a political appointee who has not a clue above me?"

"Sometimes.  Not always.  I think he was talking about a physicist for yours."

"Oh, sir, no.  Scientists run things horribly."

"I know, son, but you'll manage and straighten them out, even if you do have to smack them on the head like Gibbs does you."  He smirked as their dinners were brought.  "Thank you."  It had been fast so it must've been the left over lunch special.  But it was very good.

Later that night Tony showed up on Gibbs' doorstep with a letter.  He handed it over. "The president asked me to take over a spot at a small agency that's just starting," he said quietly.  "It's already gotten attacked and he needs me there."

"Long term leave?"

"I might want to come back some day," he said with a grin.  "But for right now, my first case has kids.  Wish I could've given you more notice, boss."

"It happens.  You've filed the other forms?"

"He's talking to the Director at breakfast and I've got them filled out electronically to send in.  My desk is already packed.  He said I get to head smack people like you do, boss."  He shook his hand.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem. You want to come back, you call."

"I will.  If you need my help, you call.  I'll be busy but not totally busy."  He saluted then walked off, happy enough at the moment.  Even though he was moving out to North Dakota.  He drove his car to the airstrip and it was loaded for him.  He took his seat and found a young man next to him.  "New hire too?"

"Your briefing bastard of the day," Xander quipped, handing over a thicker folder.  "That's what we have so far in people, what's been going on, and how we've managed the daily crisises.  Yes that's a plural."

Tony smiled.  "You must be Xander."  The young guy nodded.  "Tony DiNozzo," he said, shaking his hand.

"Don't worry, we're pretty nice but the girls will squeal and pounce.  They've learned that from Dawn.  Dawn, quit scrying," he called quietly.  The feeling left.  He shrugged at his funny look.  "She's worried.  The last time I left the girls alone they got attacked."

"That's understandable.  They'd be worried it'll be a repeat."  He got into the folder. "One's six.  I thought he was joking."

"Nope.  A fully activated six-year-old slayer.  I have *no* idea what to do about her other than cuddle and train her and I'm not fully trained myself.  We need a good defense instructor."

"We'll see what we can do.  I wouldn't be averse to some of the girls going to join an agent's family if that would be a workable solution to finding them a Watcher to work with."  He looked at him. "Put two with the youngest one?"

"I have them on a big sister program right now anyway.  I would suggest after you hire a defense teacher, you hire a shrink too.  We've got some battle nightmares still and I can't ease them fully.  Not to mention slayer dreams."

He nodded.  "I know a few good ones."  He smiled.  "Relax.  We'll handle it."

"I swear that's all I've been doing since Agent Sommers showed up.  They're good kids, the people we've got so far are good people.  But I'm tired of being the dad."

"That's why he hired me, Xander.  Relax."  He nodded and went limp.  "Take a nap.  I'll ask questions later."  That got a grin and Xander moved to the other row to lie down across the seats.  Tony went back to reading.  The kid was exhausted from handling things he could only guess at how they went.  He and Tony could switch off some of that stress.  Hopefully.  Or maybe the new head person after the new president took office would have a clue what they were doing.  He made a mental list to go over what they knew so far.  He knew a few classically trained psychologists, even though one was a profiler.

***

Tony walked onto the base and sure enough he was pounced by the youngest slayer.  He smiled, you had to when she was.  "Hi, cutey."

"Hi, Uncle Tony!"  She beamed at Xander.  "Hi, Xander!"  She switched to hug his legs.  "Not going to leave again?"

"Not for a while, Cor."  He walked her off, letting her cling to his left thigh.  She was giggling and it was good for her.  "We're back!" he shouted once they were inside the main building.  "Inspection and announcement time!  Save us some of the food, girls!"  Cor ran ahead to get her own snacks.  He grinned.  "Slayers eat a *lot*."

"They burn a lot of energy."  He let Xander lead him into the meeting hall, smiling at all the people there to meet him.  "Hi, guys.  I'm Tony DiNozzo.  I trained under Gibbs."  A few people laughed.  "We'll figure it out together, all right?"  They nodded and he got sucked into the greeting party by the girls.  He did a mental nose count and came up a few short but so had Xander because he was slipping out a side door to go somewhere.

Xander walked into the infirmary.  "New head's here, Dawn."

She looked over from brushing Buffy's hair. "Nearly done."  She finished it up and braided it again then put the stuff into the bedside drawer before making sure her sister was comfortable.  Then she left on his arm.  She got the other girls from the infirmary and one from the kitchen.  "New head guy's here."  They ran in to introduce themselves.  She straightened herself out before they could walk in.  She sighed in pleasure.  "Eye candy."

He poked her.  "Competent eye candy."

She laughed, walking over there.  "Caridad."  She quit hanging off him.  "Sorry, she's excitable and thinks you're eye candy too.  Dawn Summers."

He smiled.  "I'm only eye candy if you're of legal age."

"Even we have to dream," Dawn quipped back, making a few people crack up, including him.

He gave her a short hug.  "I'm going to like working with you, Dawn."  He let her go and patted Caridad on the shoulder.  "You can stare but if your grades go down you're forbidden for a while, all right?"  They smiled and bounced off to talk to each other.  "How's your sister, Dawn?"

"The same.  I just got done with her bed bath."  He nodded, giving her wrist a squeeze.  "Thank you."

"I'm not inhuman unless you get me up after very little sleep and don't have coffee."  She walked off giggling to talk to Xander again.   He walked over to some of his geek corps.  He was so screwed, he had mega geeks under him and no idea what they did!  Well, that'd be a third hire.  Abby would *love* to come here probably.

***

Tony went after his first hire, finding him in a bar.  Not a nice bar but it was a decent bar.  He sat down next to him, putting down money.  "Beer?  Whatever's on tap?"  The bartender gave him a funny look but did that.  He looked at the man next to him.  "Tony DiNozzo."

"You're chatty."

"Head of DCIS."

The man moaned.  "Excuse me?"  Tony smirked.  "No.  Retired."  He took a drink.

"I don't want you as a field agent, Major.  I want you as a defense trainer.  Someone who can teach how to do things the right way."

He looked at him.  "Which branch is DCIS for?"

"None of the above.  It's classified."  He sipped his beer then grimaced.

"You said whatever was on tap."

That got a nod and a gulp.  "Had worse."  He put his glass down.  "New agency starting up.  We start taking cases after the new year.  I'm the temp agency head until the new guy appoints someone.  I won't lie.  You're going to hate the subject matter we deal with.  We deal with a lot...inhuman crimes."

The major's eyes narrowed.  "I know one of them."

"My second-in-command right now was from Sunnydale.  We handle those things.  If we barge in on them or they barge in on us.  You might say we're the condom keeping the two worlds from infecting each other.  I've got the rest of the council's girls, new agents, and have to hire.  Your main job would be the girls and making sure the others could do the job in the field."

He snickered.  "That's a high position."

"We have twenty-eight girls awake total," he said quietly.  "One of them is six and thanks to Miss Rosenburg, she's active."  He put down his beer a bit hard to stare at him.  "We have no idea how to uncall her," he said quietly.  "We're doing the best we can to protect her and keep her safe while teaching her how to get away.  I need people I can count on to deal with things if they have to.  You can and you have an attitude that I like.  You're honorable.  You'll definitely tell me if someone's not fit for duty.  I need a defense trainer.  Not the 'this is how you deal with something if you have to' but the 'this is how you get away from something trying to kill you' one."

"This is my bar."

"While it's a nice bar, it'd get you out of the field for a while and I've been hearing you turned down a job due to being tired.  This would give you a while.  Take it for a year, or even six months.  Just find your successor once you know what's needed."

"Six months be enough?"

"No but it's a start.  You can tell me what and who I need to go recruit. We'll have you to fill in until I can get someone good.  You can help the girls.  By the way, they all squeal and pounce."

Major Sheppard laughed, shaking his head.  "You're a piece of work, DiNozzo.  Gibbs would be laughing his ass off."

"Gibbs doesn't want to deal with this issue."

"Don't blame him."

"Me either but someone's got to do it when things cross over."

He looked at him.  "I have a few people I can recommend."

"We'll need a good arms master sometime soon.  I was told defense person, shrink to deal with the nightmares from the last battle the girls were in, which was most of them's first fight at all, and then someone to help me with the geeks on staff."

"Abby?"

"Possibly.  If possible.  I need a good RD head and she'd be good at it."

He considered it then nodded.  "I'll consider it tonight.  I might be able to talk an arms master into it.  Possibly a field agent or two too."

"Have to be dependable and flexible of thought.  I've heard of Margo and if you think she can I'll let you tell me."

He looked at him then shook his head.  "No, she'd freak out.  She did the last time.  That's why she's doing her backup identity for now in Las Vegas as a domme."  He sighed.  "Tonight?"

"I'm at the Hilton."

"Low rent."

"First paycheck's next month."  That got a laugh.  "Got two others I need to talk to.  Especially about the six-year-old slayer I have."  He stood up and put a tip down.  "Look me up later, Major.  Thank you."  He walked off happier.

Matt Sheppard took the phone from his bartender's hand with a grin.  "Thanks."  He dialed the number downstairs. "We just got a job offer that will horrify you and make Deke cackle.  Leave Margo.  She'll freak out again."  He hung up and walked down there.  "We were just recruited by the temporary head of DCIS."

"The new demon investigative agency?" Nick, his youngest team member asked, looking confused.  "I heard about the problems they'd had and the Homeland sub agency that the last President made while I was in the DEA undercover."

Benny Ray Riddle looked at his boss.  "You're joking."

"As DiNozzo, yes Gibbs' DiNozzo, put it, we'll be the condom keeping the two worlds from infecting each other.  No matter which side starts it.  They need a defense teacher, field agents, and a weapons master.  They're willing to take a short, six month contract to make sure we fit.  I was warned all the rest of those girls that came out of Sunnydale are there with them.  One's six."  Benny shuddered.  "He's talking about her with someone today."  He sat down at the meeting table.  "Deke?"  He came out of the shadows.  "What's the underground saying about this?"

"Harris is fair.  He's from the slayer's team out there. Only hits the hunters.  The girls are doing okay with him.  He got pushy after the battle to get more home with him.  They think he's a seer of some sort but they're not sure.  He's the mother hen right now.  DiNozzo has a lot of clues and he can handle field work.  Agency head...  Well, they're taking bets on how long it takes before he snaps and smacks Harris on the head."  He sat down.  "They're serious?"

"Fully serious.  They go green on new year's day. They had more people until their temporary base was raided.  People trying to get the girls from what I heard," Matt told them.

Deke nodded. "That's what I heard too.  Rogue Watchers.  The same one that bombed the ones here."

"Charming of them," Benny Ray said bitterly.

"They're in some strange coma, won't wake up, but they're at the new base," Deke told him.  "We've got two girls locally and one girl on the new hellmouth in Cleveland with a Watcher.  I don't know if they'd take me for  field work.  I am half."

"I doubt that'll matter," Matt said, shrugging a bit.  "I'll let him know.  I said I'd think about it today.  He's at the Hilton.   Said first paycheck was next month."  That got a snicker from Nick.  "So?"

"You're right, Margo would freak," Nick told him.  "Where is it?"

"North Dakota," Matt said dryly.  "Full base, base town.  Some underground, some not."

"Are we going to have a rescue squad?"

"I'm sure we would," Matt agreed.  "Do we talk about it tonight?"  They all shrugged.  "Let me know in a few hours so we can tell him to order pizza."  They nodded, going to think about it on the beach.  Matt too.  He'd miss bikini wearing girls playing volleyball.

***

Tony walked up to the table he had reserved, smiling.  "Sorry I'm a bit late.  Got lost.  Been a while since I drove in LA traffic."  He sat down.  The waiter left a salad and tea then left.  "Thank you for coming to see me, guys.  I'm Tony DiNozzo, new, temporary, head of DCIS and head of recruiting as well at the moment."

"From Gibbs' team?" the older brother asked.

"Yup."

"That new agency that got rumors started?" Charlie asked.

"Yup."

"Why us?" the father asked.

"Because we have the last slayers with us and one's very young.  Well, technically seven of them are very young but one's *really* young.  I need people locally who we can work with and count on to handle things and know when to call us.  People who can work with the slayers in town.  Don was recommended for that.  We have two here now and we want to keep it as paired off sets at the very least.  If I let the youngest one come out this way to a foster family, it'll be three."  He sipped his tea and put it back down.  "As I put it earlier, we'll be the condom keeping the two worlds from infecting," he told Charlie.  "I'm not going to be biased for or against our new case load.  I don't care what you're born as.  Just don't break the law."

"Which is good," Alan agreed dryly.  "So why all of us to meet with you?"

Tony pulled out the pictures in his pockets.  "These are the two girls who're presently here.  Their present mentor is nice.  He's part of a gang that hunts as well.  We're going to be paying to set them up somewhere and they'd need someone to look over their shoulder."

"They're just kids," Don complained.

Tony looked.  "She's nineteen.  The other's seventeen.  Which is why we need someone to look over their shoulders."  That got a nod.  "And the six-year-old we need to find a good, tolerant foster family.  I figured if you guys knew anyone you could pass it on."

Alan looked at him.  "Six?"

"Six.  With what happened in Sunnydale...."  The waiter came back to refill the tea pitchers.  "Thank you."  He nodded and left again.  "With the way things happened out there, she got activated too.  We can't find the person who did it.  She was supposedly at the explosion but we can't find her.  She's the only missing one from that."

"So you want us to be big brothers and help them if necessary and call you in when needed," Don said.  "That's not so bad."

"No, but a lot of agents would have a problem with this caseload," Tony pointed out.  "Your former trainer was the guy who handled the Sunnydale gas explosion at that graduation."

"I had just started in the agency then," Don agreed.  "I remember going on that."

"My second is Harris."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "So I *know* and I won't freak out."

"Yeah.  Plus you'll be eligible to take any of the training we can get you there for or however we set it up.  That way you can handle minor things on your own or with the girls if you had to."

"So he'd be a backup watcher," Charlie said.

"Exactly," Tony agreed.  "If necessary.  Big brother, part time watcher, agent for both agencies.  Probably won't expand your paycheck but if you wanted to move over full time you'd be more than welcome.  We'll have some investigative teams."  He looked at Charlie.  "The same as I'd like to be able to come to you now and then if a case needs your sort of help since I can't find many people with your level of qualifications that I can talk to like a normal person.  The last one I talked to was petting his pet toad and calling it Neville."

"Was he named Trevor?" Charlie asked.  "After the toad in Harry Potter?"

Tony  nodded.  "He was.  Know him?"

"I do.  He's a bit strange."

Tony leaned closer. "Bit strange is Abby or McGee, Charlie.  Or even you.  Really strange is Trevor and Millicent Oranges.  Both of who were on my recruit list."  He cackled but nodded.  "Exactly."  He sat up again.  "So, do you think we might be able to work this out?"

"I think we could," Don agreed.  "I'm not going to switch over."

Tony nodded.  "Not everyone wants to.  I still need local people I can count on to call if it's something for us to handle or who're able to handle smaller stuff.  We've even got the prison nearly finished."

"What about the younger one?" Alan asked.  Tony pulled out her picture and handed it over.  "She's adorable."

"She is; she's bouncy and babbles and nearly broke my bed sneaking in to wake me up last night so I could get my flight," Tony told him, getting a laugh and the picture handed back.  "She's a good girl but we're all worried about what'll happen if she doesn't have good parents to help us raise her."

"What about her natural ones?"

Tony shrugged.  "We have no idea.  Xander said she was with the agents who got raided at the old base.  He looked, no one said anything about her parents.  We think one of the former Watchers managed to save her.  We can't be sure because he's dead.  I have put in a DNA test to see if we can get a relationship match.  Nothing's come up in two days.  So it's very slim."

Don nodded. "If so there's a good chance that's from a criminal database at this point."

"It is.  We searched the military one first."  That got a nod.  "Immigration second but that was a long shot.  She sounds American."  He shifted and dug into his salad.  "It's on the expense account, guys, dig in."  They all ate, it was going to be easy to hammer out arrangements to coopt Don now and then and maybe, if he was lucky, they'd like little Corette.  He hoped.  She needed sensible parents like these three men.

***

Tony smiled as he and Don walked into his office.  "Cor!" he yelled when he saw the picture.  "No finger painting on my desk!  Use the table!"  He looked.  "Nice job though, sweetheart," he said when she appeared.  "Very pretty artwork, even if I do have to scrape paint."  He smiled and she beamed, helping him hang it up on the wall.  "There, that's pretty, right, Don?"

"That's very pretty."  He smiled at her, squatting down.  "Hi, Cor.  I'm Don.  I work in LA."

"Where Mandy and Crissy work," Tony said when she looked at him.  "He's one of the agents, he's a good guy to talk to."

She smiled, showing a missing tooth.  "I banged it."

"That happened to me too.  I knocked one out playing catch once."

"Catch?"

"With a baseball."

She frowned at Tony.  "Baseball?"

"You know that white ball Caridad and Xander were working with?  Like those only bigger.  She's never been exposed to a lot of sports except University of Michigan football."

"I guess that happens."  He smoothed over her hair.  "Did you get a popsicle for your mouth?  That should make it feel better."  She ran off to tell someone that.  Don stood up.  "She's adorable.  She's going to rip hearts out and stomp on them when she's older."

Tony grinned.  "She is.  Hopefully not literally."  She ran back, letting him cut open the tube.  "There you go.  Let me work?"  She nodded and ran off again with it.  "Sit, please."  He sat behind the desk, putting some blank paper over the paint so he could type up the agreement.  Xander stomped in.  "Don Epps, Xander Harris."

Xander looked at him.  "Do I know you?"

"I was the rookie agent at graduation."

"Oh!  Hey.  Signing on here?"

"Local liaison," Tony said.  "Plus his family's agreed to help Crissy and Mandy when they need sense."

"Want to impart some to the other girls who want to go bra shopping for the one that just found out she needs one?"

"No.  Not really."

"Me either.  Tony?  I know there's a female *somewhere* in the US we can hire?  Please?"

"Tomorrow," he said dryly, waving a hand.  "Tell them she can go this weekend.  We'll take a field trip to outfit people on Sunday.  As long as they spend a reasonable amount.  Say under two hundred?"

Xander snickered.  "Buffy and Dawn can spend that bra shopping, Tony.  The other girls too."

Tony looked at him.  "Then get the Council's money to upkeep them, Xander."

"Already did," he muttered.  "Including all the nice 'setting up slayer' funds they had.  And filed for the insurance.  I don't want to be the head of the Council!  Can't Wes?"

"He said no."

"Fuck.  Gotta go yell at him," Xander muttered, walking off.

"Bad word!" Cor yelled a minute later.  "No swearing in front of me, I'm little!  I'll bop you good!"

Don laughed.  "She's definitely a spitfire."

Tony looked at him.  "Think your dad would agree?  She's gotten very attached to Xander."

He shrugged.  "I'll ask.  He's in town so Charlie could come up and look things over so he could recommend people."

"I love your brother.  If I liked guys, I'd date him."

"You'd have to be local.  Dad would get really upset if he moved again."

"Pity."  He finished filling in the pre-made form and printed it, letting him see it.  "How's that?"

He looked then nodded, signing it.  "That works for me."  He handed it back.  "Thanks, DiNozzo."

"Welcome.  The boss looking for me?"

"All the time."  That got a smile.  "The FBI out there is too.  They don't want to go near him at the moment.  They said he's sulking."  He walked out, catching Cor when she tried to pounce him.  "Nearly made it.  You need sneaking lessons."

"Then we'd never be able to stop her breaking in while we were having private time," Xander said dryly.  "For some reason she can pick locks."

"That's a good skill.  Come on, we'll introduce your popsicle to my brother Charlie.  He's my little brother.  You can even play with his hair probably."  He walked her off, letting her wave at Xander.  Who waved back while still swearing at Wes about making him head watcher in the universe.  Don let her down inside the lab.  "See the one with the hair?  That's Charlie."  She snuck over and pounced him with a grin.  "She wanted to introduce her popsicle."

"It's very nice to meet you, popsicle," he said, shaking the popsicle to make her laugh.

"Meet me instead," she said.

"It's good to meet you too.  What's your name?"

"Cor," she said a bit shyly, smiling a bit.

"Her full name's Cordette," Don said.  He sat down and she crawled up in his lap to get closer to Charlie's hair.  She looked, tipping her head off to one side then the other.  "I told you, his hair's like another brother.  It takes a long time in the bathroom."

She poked him.  "Hair's not a people.  Unless it's Cousin Itt.  Xander said so when he trimmed mine."

"He did an okay job," Charlie said.  "He's just jealous because I have more hair," he said, taking her to hold.  "Eat the popsicle so it doesn't melt and spill."  She slurped and watched him work for a bit.  At least until their father came in. "Cordette, this is our dad. Dad, this is Cordette."  She giggled and waved then pointed at something.  "That's a division symbol.  That's to take a bigger number and cut it into smaller chunks the size of the smaller number."

"Wow.  You're really smart."

He smiled.  "I'm sure you will be too some day."

"No, I'll be really strong."

"Bet me," Xander yelled as he walked past the door.  "You'll be smart and strong, Cordette.  Do not become Buffy."

She laughed.  "He says things like that."

Alan took her to hold.  "I think he's right.  Charlie teaches others how to be smart so he must think you'll be smart too."

She blinked at him then hugged him.  "You're nice."  She wiggled down and went to look in the hallway.  "If we sneak now we can have the early dinner, before all the bigger girls get the food and we starve and stay this size.  Xander said he's going out tonight so he can't defend me a portion.  Want to eat with us?"

"Sure, we'll defend you some dinner," Don promised, walking out with her.

Alan pointed at his back, looking at his younger son.

"She came in to introduce me to her popsicle."

Alan nodded.  "We'll see."  He walked his younger son out to look at the other girls.  They were eating like they hadn't seen food in weeks.  "I'm worried, do we have fire suppressant gear?" he joked quietly.

Dawn looked at him.  "They have evening defense lessons with the new teachers.  Yes, all slayers eat like that.  They're all starved."  She handed Cor a bowl.  "Peas?"

"Must I?"

"Yes," Alan said.  "All kids have to eat vegetables.  It's what makes you grow up big and strong."

"Poo."  She ate them anyway, she was hungry.  Don got her more food from the big table when she finished up and she beamed, digging into her thirds.  Tony walked behind her and gave her a hug.  "Peas?" she suggested.

"I can't eat yet.  I'll eat during late dinner."  He patted her on the head.  "You have evening lessons too.  Go with the bigger girls."  She nodded and finished up, pulling Don with her to show off.  He smiled as the other two followed once their plates were in the dish drop off slot.  Tony got his dinner to go, heading back to his desk to call some people about his RD department.  Tomorrow he'd have to meet people in DC.  Plus avoid Gibbs.  He hated it when his boss sulked, it was nearly pitiful.

***

Alan Epps walked into Tony's office late that night.  "She's amazing."

Tony looked up and nodded.  "She is.  That's why she needs good, understanding, tolerant parents."

"She does."

"If you guys can find one...."

Alan scowled.  "Like you didn't introduce them on purpose."

"No, she left me a drawing," he said, pointing at the finger paint.  "Don fell in love on his own."

Alan smiled.  "Fine, we'll take her in for a while, see if it works out.  Does she always eat that much?"  Tony nodded, taking another bite.  "The only way you get any?" he taunted with a smirk.

"I have to hit DC tomorrow."

Alan laughed  "Have fun."

"No.  Gotta duck the boss.  I heard he's still pouting."  He looked up again.  "So?"

"She'll make a great granddaughter."  That got a smile and a nod, then Tony dug something out to hand to him.  "You knew?"

"Xander and I have been looking and talking about her new parents for a while now.  She won't say a word about her last ones but her physical said she wasn't abused.  The DNA test never came back with anything so no one knows.  One of the guys tracked the watcher that they got her from's movements.  She was either paid for or taken right before the Bringers got there.  So ether one bad thing or the other."

"She'll be happy with us.  Any idea on education stuff?"

"She's not in school, a name search through every state didn't pull up any school records so it was either home schooling that sucked since she can't read even her name or a small, private religious school and they hadn't gotten to that yet."

"No one ever said either of my boys were scared of school so she'll do fine with us."

"I'm sure she will.  If you have problems, call.  She loves Xander and Miss Kitty Fantastico."

"She mentioned her.  Imaginary pet?"

"Seen the black cat with the white chest?  That's Miss Kitty.  Willow's former cat.  She snuck off with the second load of slayers and Cor adopted her on the plane because she was scared of them.  If you don't bring the cat home, it's good at finding the nosy little demonic mice we have around here."  He threw his knife at one he saw and killed it.  "Like those.  So the cat's up to you guys."

"She'll scream."

"Maybe not.  She's got Charlie's hair as a new pet."

Alan walked off laughing.  He ran into Cor and Xander, who was putting her down for the night.  "Xander, can you stay for a few since you're her favorite person?"

"Sure, I can do that."  He sat on the foot of her bed.  "Cor?"  She blinked at them.  "Talk to us?"

Alan pulled a chair over to sit next to her.  "Cor, how would you like to come live with me and Charlie?"

"Here?"

"No, at our house in LA."

"Where Mandy and Crissy are working," Xander told her.  "They want to adopt you so you'd be like Don's little sister."

She frowned.  "Then who would watch out for you and make you smile?"

"Dawn did that job for many years before we got you and she's better now so she can do it for me."  Miss Kitty jumped up onto the bed to stare at him.  "Hi, Miss Kitty."  He petted her then smiled at the girl.  "Would that be okay with you?  They have a yard you could play in and Charlie works at a college so you can visit him there now and then.  Plus you'll get to see Mandy and Crissy a whole lot.  Crissy was your big sister so she can do that again for you.  Would that be okay?"

She considered it, looking at Alan.  "Can I have my own room?"  He nodded.  "Can I have candy for breakfast?"

"Only on very rare occasions and only when your big brothers are taking you to the park."  She giggled.  "I can promise we'd keep you safe, you could talk to the other two girls all you wanted, and you'd make sure I didn't get lonely around the house.  Charlie still lives with me but he works a lot of long hours sometimes.  You could go to school with us and everything."

"There's school funds available," Xander assured him.  "Would you like that?"

"I guess.  Can I sneak in and pet Charlie's hair when it's being bad and needs a pet to behave, like earlier?"

"Maybe.  As long as you don't wake him up."

"And we will come visit every time we're near LA," Xander assured her.  "Tony and I both okay?"

She smiled and nodded.  "Can I take Miss Kitty or should she stay here to hunt the nosy mice that keep trying to eat Uncle Tony, Xander?"

"That's between you and Alan, sweetie."  He gave her a hug.  "I love you so much and I'm very happy you're going to stay with them.  They're very nice people.  I'd want to be part of their family."  She beamed and nodded.  "Good girl.  Now, you sleep and we'll pack tomorrow, okay?"  She nodded, taking Alan's hand to hold.  He let the cat have her pillow like usual then left, turning down the lights some.  He found Don and Charlie staring at each other.  "Charlie, she wanted to know if she could sneak in and pet your hair when it was being naughty and needed a pet to calm down.  Like earlier."

He laughed and nodded.  "As long as she doesn't wake me up.  Dad with her?"

"Her and her cat.  Up the hall to the left, take that branch and go three doors up."  They walked that way.  Xander went to do a happy dance outside.  Then he walked through the tunnels to the infirmary.  He went to check on everyone.  He finished up by leaning on the foot of Giles' bed.  "Been a long day, G-Man.   Our youngest slayer ever called, hopefully, just got adopted by a very nice family in LA so she'll be near Mandy and Crissy, who was doing big sister duties so it'll make her happier to see her more often.  They'll be good to her.  One brother's an agent we're counting on to handle things locally when we can't always be there.  She'll have to very good older big brothers and a dad who needed some love in his life to make him smile again.  Wes called and said Faith was doing excellently, his words, in Cleveland.  It's been a good week.  Tony signed a local liaison.  He signed our new defense teacher, the arms master, and two members of the first rescue team.  So we're doing good.  The framework we have is well thought out so we shouldn't have too many problems with it.  The girls are all doing good.  They all gave the new defense teacher a lot of butt stares.  Buffy would be proud.  Faith was when one of the girls told her. We're doing okay now.  Getting on with it and moving slowly but steadily onward."  He stood up.  "Light's out time."  He lowered the lights.  "Have a good rest.  If you're wherever Buffy is, spank her for me please?  It's not fun being one of three watchers left on the planet.  And if you find Willow, figure out how to get her back to this plane."  He walked off, leaving him to sleep or whatever he was doing.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership and Dues.

Tony looked at his lunch date, winking at her.  She started to open her mouth to squeal. "Please don't.  I'm around squealing girls all day long who think I'm the cheese's meow according to one."

She hugged him around the throat instead.  "Tony!  You're back?"

"No, I'm not back but I am going to piss Gibbs off and try to steal you," he teased.

She pulled back to look at him.  "He'll growl and chew on you like a puppy on a slipper."  She sat down and looked at him.  "Where did you go?"

"DCIS."

She blinked.  "You're on the demon squad?" she mouthed.

"No, I'm pro-tem head of them and then senior agent for the agency once the new president picks a real head."  She gaped.  "I need a head of RD and the labs."

She swallowed then slumped.  "That would leave Gibbs all alone."

"I heard, Abby."

She frowned at him.  "He's grumpy because you left."

"I left because I needed to leave.  Things had been going bad for a few weeks.  Ever since Ziva and Madame Director.  You okay?"  She nodded.  "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm okay.  Just sad.  He kinda snapped."

"McGee's enough to do it to nearly anyone," he said dryly, leaning closer.  "We have a vampire in a coma in the infirmary," he said quietly.

She gave him an odd look.  That was strange even by her standards.  "Why?"

"He's a Champion and got exploded in LA."

"Oh.  Interesting."

"We're there to keep the two sides from harming each other, no matter which side started it.  I need someone who knows their way around a lab for the investigative work and someone who can handle the three kooks I have in RD.  I've got a signed contract of outside help from a math genius if we need one.  We have all the remaining slayers but the ones out working," he finished quietly.  "I can offer you what you're not getting now.  No nosy bitch in your lab.  I won't care what you wear as long as you're covered.  I don't care about your music as long as no one complains.  Then you two can work it out.  I'm only going to be doing nosy friend checks to make sure it's all right.  We have a caf pow machine in the caf too since we're on a base.  Free room and board.  The complex has a gym and pool and all that good stuff.  Xander loves the pool.  He goes and works out his frustration at having to do admin. things for the Watchers Council in it."

"Wow.  The only thing it'll lack is Gibbs."

"I'm not ruling it out but he told the president he never wanted to deal with this stuff ever again after the Initiative mess and the assassination.  Wish granted as I've heard wish demons say."

She giggled.  "You're sure you want me?"

"I'm definite I want you.  We can pack you up and steal you tonight at the end of your shift if you want.  That way you can disappear with only a note."

"That'll really piss him off."

"Well, probably," he admitted with a grin.  "But he did yell at you for being yourself the other day because he was pouting."

She shrugged.  "Can I email him?"

"Yeah.  Just don't tell him where the base is so he can't storm it to kidnap someone.  Or else I'll have to sic the girls on him.  After twenty teenage girls get done with his makeover I'm sure he'll be more than happy to be reasonable."

"That's mean."

"It's been a long week, Abby."

"Sure.  You can snatch me away.  I'll leave letters."  He smiled and handed over something.  She read the contract and blinked.  "That's more than I make now."

"We're a smaller agency.  You're a department head now."  He smirked.  "But I'm still on an expense account so I can get lunch."  She gave him a hug and ordered her grilled veggie salad, her favorite thing from here.  He got his usual thing and it was a nice meal.  Afterward he took a pepto, made the orders and went to bug Fornell.  Who glared at him.  "Just wait, he'll get crankier.  Anyone I might use?"

"The FBI isn't known for free thinkers, DiNozzo."

"I know that.  You still have one or two pop up now and then."

"Not in this branch.  I move them to Des Moines."

"Sure.  You call me directly if you get a case we need to help with.   We have a nice plane.  We can be here within hours.  I'll have a regional liaison set up with the local PD by tonight as well.  She's considering."

"That's fine.  I can agree with that.  CIA?"

"They can call if they run into something.  They're big boys over there too," he said dryly, heading off and up the hall.  Across a walkway and into another building.  Then down a few flights of stairs to work off lunch and to a gated doorway.  Fortunately his new pass worked and he had administrative access.  He walked in and smiled at one man who was out talking to another agent.  "I am here to poach," he said happily.

"Oh please don't," Hotchner begged.

"He can have Emily," one guy said.

Tony looked at him.  "Nope, not my thing."  He looked at him.  "Your office?"

"Me?"

"No, not you.  Though if you piss me off I'll offer a job to Garcia so you'll have to match my department head salary offer."

He groaned but led him into his office.  "Who did you want?"

"I want Reid or Giddeon.  It's part profiling and part psych job with people who're shocked, horrified, or have battle stress.  If I can find a second one to put on call for that I will but I haven't."

"For?  I heard you're somewhere in Homeland now."

"DCIS."

Hotchner winced.  "Oh, that's going to suck.  The strange stuff?"

"Every day.  We're keeping the two sides from hurting each other, no matter which side starts it."

He nodded.  "I wish you luck.  Giddeon left."

"When?"

"Last month."

"Damn.  Any idea?"  He shook his head.  "Hmm.  I'll see if we can track him down."

"You can have Prentiss.  I won't mind losing her.  She's causing some friction."

"No, we need someone good, Hotchner.  I wouldn't mind taking you but you'd be creeped out by the slayers we have."

"Do we call you for that stuff?"  He nodded and handed over a contact sheet from his bag.  "Good enough.  You sure you want Reid?"

"I think it's going to take some flexible minds and ways of thought."

"I'll see if I can find you a good person for battle stress.  He can't."

"That's why I was going to try to get both," he said with a mean grin.

"I'd gut you if you had."  He went to tap Reid.  "It's you."

"Me?  Why?"

"He needs young, flexible minds."  He pointed.  "In there, Spenser."  He went to talk to him, letting Hotch sit in his desk chair.  He looked at the other person on the team.  "I don't know," he admitted at his odd look.

"For?"

"DCIS.  That's the senior agent in the agency.  New head to be announced after the swearing in."

"Charming.  I couldn't do it."

"Me either.  He was going to try to get both."

"Well, it wouldn't be sexual pervs or motives," Derek said dryly.  "Think he'll try for Garcia?"

"No.  I will gut him for that."   He heard Spenser cackling.  "That's a bad sound."

"Very," Derek sighed.  He shook his head.  "I'll miss the little guy."

Spenser came out.  "I'm staying local and on call for both," he called.  "No parties yet."  He went back into the office to see what Tony needed more specifically.  He had case examples of what had been handled in the last week so that was good.  He even knew someone he could call in Las Vegas about the real psychological needs he'd have.  And a name he could offer as a field agent.  His old friend was very bored out there.

Derek answered his phone.  "Morgan."  He listened then laughed.  "I'll let him know.  Thanks."  He hung up and called the office.  "Spenser, tell DiNozzo to run and hide.   Gibbs heard he was local and recruiting.  He wanted to beat him if he was going to come for McGee."  Tony made a quip about having some twin geniuses out of MIT coming instead.  "That might save his life, but I'm doubting it.  Sure."  He hung up.  "Gibbs won't storm Quantico but he'll try to get him at the airport."

"Even better.  I hate the sight of fresh blood," Hotch complained.  He went to see how much he could still depend on Reid around the office.  It was going to cause problems if it kept him from answering cases.  Fortunately it looked like he'd be able to do it all by laptop and files.  Maybe a personal call for serious cases now and then.

***

Tony walked back into his office and Xander got up.  "What's up?"

"Typing at our computer nerds of the day.  They found someone trying to hack us."

"Good for them.  They stop them?"

"Embarrassed them and got them kicked out of school."

"Even better."

"They'll be here tonight.  I'm assigning Pruit to meet them."

"He'll freak out."

"It's good for him."  He grinned.  "Shrink?"

"Interviewing three in Las Vegas next week."  Xander beamed at that.  "The girls need one that badly?"

"I could use a shoulder too.  Dawn's still trying to be stoic.  Most of the girls are trying to relax into routines.  Faith could probably use one too.  And she needs relieved for a few weeks.  I figure two months on, one off should be okay?"

"That'd be good," Tony agreed.  "Got any ideas?"  Someone up the hall screamed.  "Which one was that?"

"Probably Caridad.  Who I wouldn't mind.  She could use a good dose of steady and Wes is that."

"She's how old?"

"Older than Buffy was when she was called at fifteen."

"Sixteen or over, seventeen if possible."

"She'll turn seventeen during it."

"That's mean."

"She volunteered."

"Fine."  Xander grinned.  "Anything else?"  He shook his head. "What do you think about hiring detectives and CSI instead of all agents?"

Xander shrugged.  "Like I have a clue what the difference is?"

"Good point.  More science oriented."

"Still, not a clue."

"I'll figure it out."

"Get the ones who've handled some."

"I think I can do that."  He smiled and made shooing motions, letting him go talk to Caridad or whoever had just yelled.  Tony got onto his computer tech's IM and typed at them for a bit, letting them find him what he needed.  They could run a name search through any databank in any department.

***

Tony smiled at his new hire.  He hoped.  He hoped.  "Mr. Sanders."

Greg stopped and looked around then at him.  "Do I know you?"

Tony held up a card.  "I'm hoping we can fix that oversight."

Greg looked at it then at him.  "You're joking," he said with a grin.

"Nope.  I need good investigative people.  You've handled two of our cases in the past without realizing it.  I need free-thinking people I can count on that don't have a stick up their butts from the system telling them how to think.  You could even wear ungodly t- shirts.  Xander does.  That sounds a lot like you."

Greg sat across from him.  "I love the lab, even if they are down on my shirts, my free- thinking ways, and my hair."  He ran a hand over it.

"Our head of RD is goth, Greg.  We don't care what you wear in the office as long as it's really clothes and not paint.  In the field you'd have to not be stained, wrinkled, or too nasty to be believed as an agent."

Greg nodded.  "Are you the real head of the agency?"

"Until the new president picks and I've heard his pick is going to agree with most everything I say right off.  The one suggested is a physicist.  I'll be senior agent in the agency once he's appointed."

Greg considered it.  "You remember those days when you still loved the job but you were frustrated because there's people you work with who can't even look up the meaning of the word respect?"

"Many times.  I switched jobs because of it a few times.  I heard you had that.  That's why I came to interrupt your hunt for breakfast today."

Greg smiled.  "It's a good offer."

"Five grand more a year than you made as a DNA tech."

"That's a nice salary."

"I'm looking at other guys with your qualifications to be on the investigative team.  Probably a light caseload but I'll promise you'll have messy ones."

"I'll consider it and maybe take you up on it in the second round of hiring if the deal stays that sweet."

"I can't blame you for that if you still love your present job," Tony assured him with a smile.  He pointed at the card.  "Call me.  We'll probably have openings for a while."

"I can do that." He shook his hand.  "Think I could get a written offer?  Make my boss jealous?" he asked with a teasing grin.  Tony produced one and he snatched it to look over. "Wow.  The clothing clause is even written in."

"Abby Scuito is head of RD and our labs."

"Abby from NCIS?" he asked, giving him an odd look.  Tony smirked and nodded.  "Then you really want brains and free thought."

"We do.  We'll need it."

"Let me be nagged two too many times," Greg said.  "I'll consider it harder."  That got a nod and he got up, stuffing that into his pocket with the card.  It was a great offer and Grissom would see that other people appreciated him more than he did.  Hopefully.  He went back to the lab and his boss's office, tapping before leaning in.  "Got ten?"

"New case?"

"I'm off the clock, Griss."  He walked in and shut the door.  "I just got a governmental job offer."

"From?"

"DCIS.  New agency under Homeland."

"Lab?"

"Field."  He showed it to him.  "I'm considering but not too hard at the moment."

He looked it over. "That's a good contract," he said, handing it back.  "You knew there was a pay cut, Greg."

"Not complaining about the pay cut, Griss.  I'm complaining that I'm a yo-yo.  I'm in the field.  We have a great, competent DNA tech that you and others undermine by sending me in there to look over her shoulder."

"She hasn't complained."

"She won't.  She'll quit first."

Grissom sighed but nodded.  "I can see how that's a  problem.  You still can't wear band t- shirts in the field, Greg."

"No but I don't have to dress like Nick, right?"

"No," he agreed.  "You don't."  He took off his glasses.  "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Negotiation, boss man."

"I can understand that, Greg.  Fine, I'll try to keep Ecklie from shoving you back in the  lab without your consent or knowledge.  You can quit dressing so plainly as long as you're neat and professional looking and you can cut your hair again as long as it's not too messy.  Better?"

"Much," he said, grinning at him.  "Thanks, Griss."  He walked off happier and wrote the email address on the card that it had worked and he knew a few CSI in other cities who could use the job.  Because they were tired of theirs.

***

Tony walked into the precinct in New York and smiled.  "This looks familiar."  He went to the front desk.  "Hi.  I need to see these two men for a short talk," he said, handing over the profiles.

"Reporter?"  Tony held up his badge.  "Oh.  Fed."

"Head of an agency Fed, yes.  Not a bad one.  A good talk actually."

She smiled.  "If you say so."

"Recruiting," he hissed.

"Oh!  Good talk.  Sure."  She paged them for him and then followed the directions she gave him.  She shook her head.  "I'd hate to see them go.  They're nice guys."

Tony walked into the room and shut the door.  "Detective Taylor, I didn't know I had invited you to talk."

"You talk with my people, you talk with me."

"I'm hiring for the new agency under Homeland.  I need good, experienced, open-minded professional investigators for my team."  He pulled a contact sheet out of his inner jacket pocket and handed it over.  "If New York has a case, and you often do, that is how you get in touch with us.  I have a regional liaison set up already out of SVU and one out of the 23rd.  So if you catch something you can call them or me directly."  He smiled, showing him out and closing the door behind him, locking it even.  Because he knew stubborn Marines.  Then he pulled out the two offers.  He looked at the names then handed them over.  "You two both came highly recommended.  You've both handled our sort of case before.  You're not prejudice about one side or the other.  We can promise you'll be part of a good, strong covert agency that's growing up like a family.  I'm doing almost all the recruiting and I'm making sure we can all work together.  Danny, the head over the labs and RD is Abby, formerly of NCIS."  That got a nod of appreciation.  "You'd be doing what you do here.  Sometimes sent on cases, sometimes cases sent in.  Depends on the need of the case.  We're on a newly reconstructed and reopened base.  We offer free housing, caf, amenities, gym, pool, laundry, cable.  Internet.  Travel for cases."

"That's a good offer," Don Flack said quietly.  "Need a soul?"

"No, we're dealing with those things that like to take them," Tony said honestly.  Don moaned.  "We see it as we're dealing with it whenever either side does something to the other.  No matter which side started it.  It's a small agency but we're growing.  We're also tied very tightly with the new Slayers Council since the old one got blown up and there's only about three of them left.  We have all the remaining girls in training back at the base too.  I will warn you they squeal and pounce.  Especially the younger ones."

Don smiled but nodded.  "It's a great offer."

Tony sat across from him.  "Six years ago I was Detective DiNozzo, Baltimore Homicide, Flack.  Then Gibbs recruited me for NCIS.  I'm a tough boss but I'm fair and I'm not going to tell you how to get to a conclusion on a case.  I care that you get there and you get there right.  Not how, if you pray over it, if you angst over it, if you nibble at your desk over it.  I won't say some cases you won't want to eat after seeing.  We've all had those I'm sure."  Danny nodded.  "Which is why I need good, qualified, strong, honest, open-minded people to be on the team.  We have six right now and we're looking for about ten more so we can have partners.  You'd be equal to Danny.  He gets his from the lab, you get yours by footwork.  We'll be spending some good time on the road depending on cases."

He thought about it.  "My Pops would scream and rant.  I'm third generation."

Don nodded. "That's a consideration but with us you'd just be Don."

"Which could be nice now and then," he agreed.  "Here I get politics."

"I don't play politics.  Once the new president appoints a formal agency head I won't have to do it again," he promised with a smirk.  "My agents might get some 'this is our turf' bullying but nothing else.  We're under Homeland."

He sighed but shoved it off.  "My family would scream for decades if I took that.  I'll agree to handle local things."

"Can't have too many of those," Tony agreed.  "Though I was hoping I could bring you two in together as a working set of partners."

"Those rumors are false," Danny said dryly.

"I don't care."  He snorted and waved a hand.  "I don't care if you're doing stuffed animals that've been possessed, Danny.  As long as it's not compromising the evidence I don't care what you do.  Or who you were."  Danny gave him an odd look.  "It was a point given as a reason for suggesting you.  You could do so much more without the black ball of your past hanging over your head.  I could care less and after a few years, no one else will if you transfer.  Even back here."

Danny leaned on the table.  "You know?"

"Danny, my dad works up on Financial Row and kicked me out at the ripe old age of twelve because I didn't want to be a banker."  Don hissed at that.  "I don't give a damn what sort of marks you wear.  We all grew out of youthful stupidity.  There for a while I was a satantist trying to get my father devoured by something.  Didn't work.  Now I know why."

Danny snickered quietly.  "Good to know, Tony."  He looked at Don.  "You'd get out of your shadow."

"He doesn't have to tell me right now," Tony promised.  "Give it a week, let me know, Don."  He nodded.  "Talk to your family."

"My dad said most Feds are hired because they're too stupid to be cops.  I don't think you all are."

Tony laughed.  "My last boss was a Gunny Sergeant in the Marines.  He taught by head smacks."  Danny laughed but nodded a bit.  "So I see you've met Gibbs?"

"Twice.  Two very bad cases."

"I came in about five and a half years ago," Tony told him.  That got a smirk.  "They took me from him.  The president personally asked me to be senior agent in the agency for him.  After meeting my second, Xander, I can see why.  He's not used to admin. or federal level stuff.  He was a carpenter and hunter of this stuff.  He came in under practical experience.  He's down in Miami right now handling a case.  The girls are probably repainting the base."

Danny grinned.  "I'm seriously going to consider it tonight after my shift.  You trying to steal anyone else?"

"No.  I've heard about Monroe.  I'd rather eat live demon eggs that'll eat me from the inside out."  Don laughed.  "I've met Stella on a case before and I love the woman but someone's got to lighten up the gloom and glare I can feel aimed at my back from Taylor.  She does a good job here.  Besides, I don't think she wants to do this sort of case."

"Nah, last one with anything strange she handed off and went to scrub," Don said.  "I'll let you know within a week, Tony."

"Sure.  Let me know, guys.   I'm flying out in about two hours.  I can have the relocating fairies come back to help Danny move if he needs to.  I have a moving company on call for our people.  They moved me, Abby, and a few others already."

"Where's the base?" Don asked.

"North Dakota.  We'll get to travel for cases.  I did mention paid travel, right?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Bit tired.  The slayers decided to have a horror movie binge with my tapes and kept me squealing in fear and laughing at the monsters."  He shook their hands.  "Let me know, guys."  He left, going out past Mac and Stella.  "Evening."  He smiled and winked at her, making her swat him with a folder.  "I'd offer but we'll have strange stuff now and then."

"Don't want it anyway," she assured him.

"Okay."  He walked off whistling, handing in his visitor's pass on the way out.  Half an hour later Danny called and Tony set things in motion so he could fly out with him to North Dakota.

***

Xander was walking through the graveyard.  "Here, ghosty, ghosty, ghosty.  Here, ghosty.  Nice ghosty.  Some of the time but I'm sure you're a nice ghosty when you're not lonely and pissed off."  He looked around.  Something was off.  So when the demon ran at him he was pretty prepared.  He still got knocked down but he beat its ass.  "You know, I wasn't here for you.  I'm here for the killing ghost."  He slugged it again.  "I don't want to deal with your kind at all today."  He held it down.  "Why attack me?"  It babbled about slayers and dreams and bad things.  "We already had that.  That was the Sunnydale apocalypse a few months back."  He let it up and looked at it.  "Trust me, all the slayers we can find are with us.  We have people finding the others to bring them to us if they want to.  Any other reasons?"  It whimpered.  "I'm too damn tired after putting up with twenty mother hen slayers last night to kill you.  Your kind is usually harmless.  I'd remember that."  It ran off.  He turned and ran into the ghost he wanted, working on the banishing.  He slumped when he was done, looking around to make sure nothing else was coming at him.  "I hate these sort of days."  He heard music and looked around in confusion.  "Must be a car.  No more ghosties killing mourners."  He walked off making notes on the PDA Tony had given him to break.  Or so he had claimed that's why he had given it to him.  He walked over the foot of one grave and stiffened, moaning in discontent.  "Not again."

The ghost flowing into him looked around.  "This is a mess," he decided. He realized he was speaking out loud and the voice ranting in the back of his head was the real person.  "Um....  Have not a clue, man."  The real person shifted them around so he was the voice in the back of the head.  //You okay?  The first thing I knew you were going 'here, ghosty' and I turned to look.//

"You're missing time; that was over ten minutes ago," he muttered, making notes.  He called Tony while he did.  "One killer ghost down.  One in me, boss.  Miami, still.  No idea."  The ghost supplied his name and he looked at the headstone.  "He said his name's Tim.  Yeah, that's the headstone.  Sure, Tony, we'll come see you back on base in a few hours."  He hung up and looked at the headstone.  "Just let me drive and all that stuff, okay?"  He walked off, heading back to his car.  He saw someone watching him and shrugged.  "DCIS.  Case related.  You?"

"Miami-Dade CSI," he said, holding up his badge.  "You got yours?"  Xander found it so he could look at it.  "Which agency is this?"

"Sub-closet in Homeland."  The other voice was telling him something.  He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.  Then he looked at the guy.  "Were you out here about the mourners dying?"  He nodded.  "Got it, it's gone."

"What's gone?"

"The spirit.  Unfortunately it was feeling lonely because no one visited him so he got vengeful of others visitors."

"Um...."

"Read the print under the name, junior," Xander said dryly.  He did then shuddered and moaned.  "You know, we're hiring."

The guy looked at him.  "After my reaction?"

"Sometimes you have to but you have to be open to look at both sides of the case.  I know we have a lab, we have investigative teams.  My boss is former NCIS.  I'm guessing that's the same?"

"Yeah, basically only he did military crimes.  You're serious?"

"Yeah, the new ghost I sucked in after banishing the last one said you'd neat and Tim said he needed to kick Eric's ass but not today so we should head since he's parking according to him."

Ryan looked then nodded.  "Yeah, probably.  We'd like a report."

"Sure, come to North Dakota and get it," he said with a  grin.  "Because he's freaking out."

"There's a reason for that.  Hey, Delko, DCIS."

He looked at him.  "Ghost?"

"Banished.  Sucked up another one who wanted to do some travel."  He dug out a contact sheet.  "Call us directly."

"We can do that.  You want Wolfe?  He's an annoying prick but he's good.  Plus it'd get him away from the reporter that he nearly caused a city-wide panic with."

"We were all new, Delko," Xander said dryly, saying what Tim wanted this time.  "Even you and me.  Rookies make mistakes if their elders aren't watching. The same as toddlers do."  Eric stiffened at that.  "But yeah, I think he'd do good in the agency.  I'm trying to get him to North Dakota to see if he'd fit in."

"I'll get you clearance."  He went to call that in.  Xander shrugged at Ryan.  "We'll talk on the plane."  He finished his report and sent it, getting back a confirmation and a complaint that Dawn was making the girls hyper.  He groaned but called.  "Why did the dispatch officer complain to me that you're making the girls hyper?  Well, I might be bringing back one.  Tony thinks he is.  Oh, tell them I'm possessed again but he's really nice so far.  No growling this time.  Sure.  No, I don't need a party."  He sighed in defeat.  It'd make the girls feel better.  "They can help cook dinner tonight how about that?"  She squealed and hung up so he did and put the phone back into his pocket.  "Slayers."  Ryan gave him an odd look.  "The last twenty-six of them and twenty are in residence as of yesterday's traveling to hotspots.  Dawn's making them hyper."

"I'm sorry."

"Nine are below the age of ten.  Watch out for pouncing and squealing.  So?"

"I might be able to get a day off to do that."  Their boss rode up and Xander stiffened.  "Don't.  Just don't."  Xander made himself relax and yelled at the voice mentally, making him calm back down.  "H, DCIS handled the case."

"How?"

"Banished."  He pulled up his report to let him read it.  "Including case notes about how they died of cold exposure here in Miami."

He read it over then looked at him.  Xander held up his ID badge.  "Under?"

"Homeland."

"You're very young."

"I've been doing this since I was sixteen.  I came in under practical experience, Lieutenant.  I worked with slayers.  Now I work with all the slayers."

"I see."  He handed the PDA back.  "Are you ...uncomfortable?"

"Bit squishy in my shoes.  Must've rained last night.  That and it's been a long night.  The slayers pounced last night because they were sulking.  I had to listen to them complain that they can't date on base."

"Base?"

"Our home base is a reopened military base that we had reconfigured for us.  It's in North Dakota.  I gave Delko a contact sheet so you know how to contact us the next time one of these comes up."

"Thank you for that.  Heading back now?  No silver bullet?"

Xander pulled out his gun, popped the clip, handed him one then put the clip back and the gun back in the holster.  Then he smirked.  "Sure, if you want one so you can replicate it."  He walked off.  "Can I recruit Wolfe?  I think he'd do well with us since you guys don't appreciate him.  I can have him back tomorrow if he doesn't like us."

"Mr. Wolfe...."

"I have no idea, Horatio.   That's Homeland's seal on the ID."  He shrugged.

"Five grand more a year, choice of clothing, investigative teams instead of solo or partner working at the moment.  Some travel, not always though.  Free housing, cable, all that.  Free food.  We don't care what you sleep with unless it becomes a case."  He turned to look at him.  "And you can be yourself, OCD and all."  Ryan gaped.  He knew he hadn't mentioned that.  That proved that possession to him.  Xander smirked.  "We don't mind.  The arms master won't either.  Well?"

"Go with him.  I want him out of this city," Horatio said quietly.  This...agent was making his skin crawl for some reason.  He did not want him in his city.  "Make sure your phone is on for a GPS lock.  Call once you're wherever you're going.  I'll check on him in the system."

"Yes, Horatio."  He followed him.  "Maybe I should drive."

"That's fine.  We're going to the airport.  The agency's plane is with Tony in New York while he's recruiting."  That got a nod and Ryan drove them off.  He giggled.  "Damn the look on their faces was pretty.  I haven't gotten to freak anyone out in days."

"Did it to me too."

Xander looked at him.  "I've got a slight case of being a seer and I suck in spirits, Ryan.  Tim said you're an asshole but Eric's a bigger one and he should remember.  Mostly.  They *were* drunk at the time so it's a bit fuzzy."  Ryan gave him a horrified look.  "If you crash and we all die it's going to be really hard to explain this to St. Peter."

Ryan paid more attention to the road.  This was just too strange to be true.

***

Tony walked into the base and looked around.  "Xander's possessed again!" he announced.  People went running.  "He texted he recruited too!"  Danny snickered.  "Apparently the new possession is good at that.  No clue yet.  We'll have to talk to him later."  He walked him into security, getting Danny his new ID badge while there.  "There we go.  Passcard system in effect all over the base."  He walked him around, showing him where everything was.  The dorm mother gave him his own apartment in the single's complex so that was nice of her.  "The moving company is bringing his stuff."  They kept going, getting in a small snack until Dawn caught then.  "This is Danny, our new agent.  He's out of New York's CSI labs."

"Hi, Dawn Summers.  Buffy's my big sister but she's ...asleep or whatever they're calling it now."

"Xander's possessed," Tony said, snatching a bit more food.  She swatted him again.  "Hey!"

"Of course he is.  You sent him to deal with a ghost, Tony.  Did he suck up the one killing people?"

"No, a different one.  His report was already put in.  He banished that one."

"Then maybe this one will be nice and all that.  The soldier isn't too bad and the hyena likes me."  She smirked.  "No food until dinner.  It's a special Xander dinner since he just solved his first solo case."

"Fine."  He brought Danny to the weapons area.  "Hey, Benny Ray?" he called.  He popped out of the armory.  "Danny Messer, New York CSI, this is our arms master, Benny Ray Riddle.  Yes, long 'I' after an imaginary 'h' instead of short or else he'll snark and be mean."  He smiled.  "CSI are forensic cops so he's a scientist first."

"I'll make sure his field arms are in good working order so he doesn't have to worry about anything," he promised, shaking his hand.  "What're you trained on, Danny?"

"Department issued Browning nine mil."

Benny led him in there to look. "We have one in the same size.  Did it feel right in your hand?  Too big, too small?"

"Bit too small."  Another was handed over.  "That's nice.  Heavy but nice."

"Okay, so lighter."  He got him another one and that got a nod.  "Good, that'll be your field gun."  He put a tag on it.  "We have individual lockers."  He led him over to his.  "I'll put reloads in here for you or they're in the cabinet behind the door if you're desperate.  So's the cleaning supplies."  He let him have the key to the locker.  "All yours."

"Thanks.  What about around base?"

"We have security and if they get past them, you can run and get it," Tony promised.  "That way you don't have to worry about it at the desk.  I know most CSI aren't fully comfortable with their guns.  That's why we're CSI instead of regular officers.  Xander's possessed, Benny Ray."

"I'll find the chains, boss."

"Thanks."  He grinned and walked him off.  "There we go.  Let's finish up at the office so you can pat your brand new computer."  He walked him into the building that housed the offices, labs, all that work stuff.  "Second floor is the lab.  Third is desk space.  Fourth is empty but Xander wanted to confiscate it for the witchly crew we're building.  Dawn, the one in the kitchen, is one in training."  They got off on the lab floor so he could look around.  "Abby, did the last set of machines get here yet?"

"Earlier today and already blew a fuse.  Tech support's still really crappy but I got it fixed."  She came out and smiled, holding out a hand.  "Abby Scuito."

"Danny Messer.  Manhattan Felony CSI."  He shook her hand.  "I heard you're the lab boss?"

"Lab and RD," she said happily.  "So if you need it, come see me.  Research or case work.  I'll assign you lab codes and coats, all that stuff."

"Sure, I'd like that.  I'm great at fingerprints but I can run nearly anything but DNA."

She walked him off to show him around.  "I've got it, Tony.  Go wait on Xander."

"Thanks."  He went to do that, finding him and a new person with him.  "Are you possessed by a twin?" he teased.

"No, the guy I took the place of.  I caught him banishing the ghost," Ryan told him.  "So he offered me a job because I shuddered."

Tony shrugged.  "We'll see if the work calls to you.  You are?"

"Ryan Wolfe, out of Horatio's lab, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Agent or Tony, Ryan.  We're not that formal around here."  He looked at Xander.  "So it is really Tim Speedle in there, huh?"

"You want me to tell everyone about that poker game at the convention in Atlanta about seven years ago or so?"

"No, not really," Tony admitted but he was grinning.  "Nice to have you back.  How in the world?"

"He was by my grave going 'here, ghosty, ghosty, ghosty' and I looked.   He said it was about ten minutes but on this side times doesn't mean that much to us.  He walked over the foot of my grave and since I was paying attention it let me catch onto him and he sucked me in."

The voice changed back to Xander's.  "I don't wanna be a hoover anymore.  Can't we fix this?  He's complaining about my shirt, Tony."

Ryan looked at his shirt of the moment.  "Speed wore grunge stuff and that's ugly, Xander."  He walked off at someone's urging.  "It's all right.  Tim and I picked on him about it earlier."

Tony nodded.  "Still not safe.  Ghosts can be grumpy.  Since this one was grumpy in life, I'm sure it'll be worse."  He walked Xander off to the infirmary, making him lie down so they could look him over and see if a good banishing would work.

***

"Our newest members of staff that joined us tonight," Tony said, nodding at the three boys.  "Are Danny Mesesr, formerly of New York CSI.  Ryan Wolfe, formerly of Miami- Dade CSI, and Xander's new passenger, Tim Speedle, also formerly of Miami-Dade CSI.  I'm very sorry if you have to run into the boss down there anytime soon.  Especially since Ryan quit by phone two hours after he got here."  The others clapped and laughed but welcomed the new guys.  Xander even let Tim take over, though he had been complaining that he had no idea what Tim was talking about in the labs.  Tony watched.  They'd work it out.  Both were very stubborn young men.  Xander more than most so he'd have control of his body more often than not.  Tony watched as Danny snuck off to call someone, smiling at his use of his new cellphone.  Tony answered his when it rang.  "DiNozzo.  Hey, boss.  How's cases?  Doing a lot of recruiting actually.  It's been a bit fun.  I've gotten to piss off a few different agencies for the last few weeks."  One of the girls squealed.

"Sorry, happy coworker, kinda.  Well, future coworker."  The slayer looked at him.  "When you're old enough."  She shrugged and went back to talking to Ryan about Miami, where she was from originally.  "What's up?  Need help on a case?"  He smiled.  "I have talked to Abby and she said she's happy and fine.  They've given her a nice, shiny, new, large lab to play in and set up.  She's got all the toys she wants and lab-wide music if she wants.  Actually I hired two CSIs today.  She said her RD department loves her ideas.   She's a department head, boss.  Of course she's having fun.  No nosy person staring over her shoulder.  No one yelling at her for being bouncy on a gloomy day.  She did say that she wasn't looking forward to her first real, harsh winter but she'd be fine.  Sure, I'll text her and have her call you, boss.  How's Probie?"  He smirked at the grumpy answer.  "I'm sure it'll be fine, Gibbs.  You smacked me, him, and Kate into it, you can smack the new one.  And the director.  Well, if you really wanted to you can look at her and tell her I'm heading my own agency at the moment.  Watch her freak, boss."  He hung up on the shuddering he could hear going on.  "Abby, call Gibbs.  He still doesn't know you work here."

"Of course not.  He'd storm the state and kick both our butts."  She went into the hall then into the nearest office to call, watching the security cameras since it was in Security.  "Hi, Gibbs.  I'm fine.  Were you worried about me?  That's sweet."  She smiled as he grumped at her.  "No, I'm good.  My lab is great.  My people are wonderful and understand me.  We sat around all day and worked on the two new machines that kept blowing fuses then we had a few caf-pows and got to work on the research side of things.  I am.  I've had three cases recently so I can do research in-between bad things.  Well, right now I'm working on the restraint spray stuff to see if I can make it work better and faster.  Because it's practical and Tony wanted me to.  Just in case so I could share it with him.  No, I'm not in DC, Gibbs.  If I was still working in DC, I wouldn't have moved.  Nope, that was part of our signing bonus, that we'd be whisked away to the new office's location by their moving company.  They did a really good job.  Nothing got broken, nothing got smooshed.  They even cleaned out my fridge, let my landlord do the tour so I got my security deposit back, and then rearranged my stuff here before I knew it was here.  No, I donated all my old food to a food panty."  She stared at a camera.  "Gibbs, give me a minute.  No, I'm sitting in security watching the cameras and something just happened.  I'll call back."  She hung up and texted Tony.  He and the head of security came in.  "I have no idea what that is."

Tony frowned.  "Me either."  He did what he usually did when he couldn't identify something.  "Xander!"  He came jogging in.  "What's that?"

He looked then he smirked.  "That is a badly injured beast.  Stay."  He grabbed something and headed down to check it over.  "Hey," he said gently, looking at it.  "Are you looking for sanctuary?"  It stared at him and growled.  He darted it with the tranq dart.  It fell onto its side and the medical team came out.  "That's a shape shifter.  It's a lesser type of werewolf."  He came over to look.  "Any indication of silver?"

"Looks like a baseball bat," one of the team said.  "Let's go."  They carried the thing into the medical bay and got to work on the injuries.  "Will stitches help?" she asked Xander.

He shrugged.  "Won't hurt.  They might shrink or stretch when they change back though."

"Then we'll use butterflies."  She got to work on the one on his leg.  "Do you think this was a natural occurrence?"

"Nope," Xander said, pointing at something. "That is a powder burn."  They groaned and cleaned up that area too.  He'd sit guard on it for tonight.  The new force field containment system that they used in the demon jail they watched over worked in here as well and they had a portable system set up just in case.  It went around the bed and Xander waited.   When the werewolf shifted back he looked at him.  "Morning, want some coffee before we talk or after?"

The man rolled over to look at him.  "Who're you?" he rasped.  "Where am I?"

"DCIS."  He leaned forward.  "You came in pretty banged up last night, kid.  Powder burns, a few cuts, looked like a broken rib.  You in any pain?"  He shook his head.  "Good, then our docs are really good.  Can I get him a coverall once you've checked him over?" he asked the doc coming toward him with the tray.  He took his coffee and she went into the shield to examine him.  He laid there then Xander led him off to an interrogation room.  "Okay, let's get down to this.  You were changed.  That's not an issue.  The issue is you had been shot a few times and cut a few times plus we found a few places that looked like baseball bat hits.  Do you remember any of it?"

"None of us remember things."

"I know a few who do, kid."  He slumped.  "How long have you been changing?"

"Six months."

"Do you usually lock yourself up?"

The kid snorted.  "Why should I?  They're my woods!  I'm supposed to run free in them!"

"Then what happens if you make it to civilization?" Xander asked, taking a sip of his coffee.  "Beyond the fact that half the town knows how to deal with you guys."

"We're immortal," he sneered.

"No, I know for a fact you're not because I've seen other werewolves that've been killed.  By humans and not.  It'll also keep those who hunt you guys off your fur.  Because I have a friend who changes and a hunter did come for him.  He didn't care that he was human all but three days a month."  He finished his coffee.  "Someone's looking things up to see what happened last night.  So let's start with the basics.  You look like you're under eighteen.  Do your parents know?"  The kid went stiff.  "We're going to have to tell them that you're here.  It's either they come here or we drop you off.  That's the only way you're leaving the base right now."

"I'm on the old base?"

"Um-huh.  Demon Criminal Investigative Service took it over and changed it.   Before you can sneer and ask, yes we do investigate it when the humans are hurting demons and when humans are the victims.  No matter who did what, we're fair.  That means we have to investigate if you did something or if the humans did it to you, as well as patching you up last night.  Now, do you want to call your parents or should we?"

"No.  They won't want to hear this."

"They're going to hear this one way or another."

"They'll kill me."

"No they won't."  Xander smiled.  "Even in a pack situation, a vet giving medical attention isn't unwelcome."

"They don't know."

"Then maybe they should because if the hunters come for you, there's no one to watch your back if you're not part of a pack or protected.  Now, name and phone number?"  He slid across some paper.  "Please."  He wrote it down.  "Thank you."  He went to make the call himself, leaving a guard on the door.  "Do we have anything?" he asked while he dialed.

"Local farmer had his barn broken into.  Shot the animal he thought it was."

"Cut and baseball bat marks?" Xander asked before inputting the last number.  The guard with him shrugged.  "Call the sheriff?"

"He's at his mother's.  He'll call in a bit."

"That'll work."  Xander hit the last number. "Ma'am, this is DCIS agent Xander Harris.  I have a boy named Jeremy who wandered onto our base last night a bit beaten up and we've just now gotten him to the point of giving us your phone number.  Yes, ma'am, that's us.  On the base, ma'am.  Because of his condition you'd have to come down to pick him up," he said.  "I don't know if he's in any trouble yet," he admitted when she asked.  "That's what we're trying to figure out now.  Please do.  We're at the old base.  Yes, ma'am.  North gate and tell them your son's here in Interrogation three.  They'll show you where to park and how to get to us.  We're giving him food right now.  He should be fine but this is a formality.  Thank you, ma'am.   Yes, ma'am."  He hung up and went back, finding the kid was eating cereal.  "She said it'll take her about an hour to get here.  You roamed a long way."  Someone knocked then walked in.  Ryan leaned down to whisper in his ear.  "You sure?"  He nodded.  "Correlate that back for me please."  He nodded and left so Xander looked at the kid.  "By the way, she let on that she was your aunt.  She have custody?"

"My mother can't drive."

"As long as you're not in trouble it'll probably be a reasonable family relation so that'll be fine.  If not, we might have to go talk to your parents."  Dawn came in.  "What's that?" he asked, nodding at the folder in her hand.

"One of the werewolf hunters is in town."  She let him see.  "The Sheriff caught him last night in the woods on the other side of town."  She nodded at the kid.  "We ran him through the databank for him and he's keeping him under arrest."  She looked at the kid. "You lucked out.  This guy has killed over sixty werewolves that we know of."  The kid went pale.  "That's why you need a safe place and someone to watch over you.  So you don't end up like him."

"We're meant to be free."

"Freedom versus death.  Not a great choice," she said dryly.  "Still one you have to make.  Because if you attack a person, they can and will get you for that."  She left the file and the room.

"One of her sister's friends is the same werewolf I know.  It's a thrill to run in the woods.  I can fully get that feeling.  I've had that same thrill of freedom, going all out, letting the wind and the scents on the air guide me."

"Are you one of us?"

"No.  There's other ways to do the same thing."  The local sheriff walked in with an older woman.  "His aunt he had us call?"

"His mother.  His aunt'll be here soon.  We passed her house and she was warming up the car."  He shut the door.  "We'll keep the hunter."

"No, we'll keep the hunter," Xander assured him.  The sheriff looked stunned.  "We don't care which side did what to who.  Humans go after demons we get it.  Demons go after humans we get it.  We're going to figure it out fairly on either side.  We may still use your jail since ours is built for demons who've hurt people."

"That's perfectly fine, Harris.   We know you do your best to try to be fair."

"That's why we took him in last night when he showed up after having been shot with buckshot and cut a few times, plus a bit pummeled.  What did he get caught doing?"

"A milk cow.  Showed up at his girlfriend's house to try to get her.  That's probably where the other injuries came from.  The farmer does load buckshot."  The boy's aunt was let in.  "Mabel, I heard so I brought Clarice.  If he's not in trouble we'll let you drive them back."

"Would he normally be in trouble for hurting that cow?" Xander asked.  The Sheriff nodded.  "Do you want to handle the problem or do you want us to?"

"I think the farmer would settle at reparations."  He looked at the boy.  "I can talk him into it, but I will promise you he won't let your mother pay him for it.  You'll have to pay him back all by yourself, Jeremy.  We've also got to talk about safety issues.  You might not have minded turning but no one else feels that way and you roaming around is dangerous to others."

"Most of us from Sunnydale agree that safe caging and someone watching in case of hunters is usually enough," Xander said.  He held up a hand at the horrified noises.  "I'm not talking a little cage or one he can break out of.  I'm talking something like an old barn that gets converted and strengthened so he had some roaming room but he was safely contained in case guys like this hunter come after him.  With either someone watching over him to make sure he doesn't get out or alarms in case he does.  It can be as elaborate as you want it.  I know someone who took over an older, underground crypt and put jail bars on the doors."  He opened the file and put something in front of him.  "This is what happens if someone like this hunter guy gets you, Jeremy, and there's many ways to kill a werewolf.  I can name three off the top of my head.   Running free is great, special, and wonderful, but you're dangerous when you've changed.  We don't want to end up on your doorstep to notify someone like some cop did for her.  Because judging by her pelt she was under ten."  He went pale at that.  "If you need it tonight, we might be able to set up a temporary containment area.  Or was last night the last night?"

"Last night was the last night of the full moon," his mother said.  "You know others?"

"One of my best friends in high school was one.  He ended up killing a female were who went after his girlfriend because the female wanted him.  He found some method of control to stop the change, but Jeremy doesn't seem to want that."

"No, we found he was different because the boy ordered some wolf blood through the mail and did it to himself," the Sheriff admitted.  "If we had to we could probably use the old jail on the edge of town until he's got something set up, Clarice."

"I want my son to be safe."

"Then you need to worry about where he is when he's changed and worry about hunters.  They don't care that he might be a nice boy the rest of the month and every day."  She nodded.  "If you're handling it then I'll turn the boy over to you.  Do you want his medical records from last night, ma'am?"  She nodded so Xander went to get them for her and handed them over.  "This is the full file.  Pictures and all.  We used butterflies because we weren't sure if stitches would be ripped out when he changed back."

She patted him on the hand.  "You did what you could.  Thank you, Agent Harris."  She left, glaring at her son the whole way out.

"Could've been a natural accident," Toy said from behind Xander.  He nodded, not looking back at him.  "Where is your friend Oz?"

"Back in Tibet the last I knew."  He turned to look at his boss.  "It sucks."

"Yup, but the first thing you learn on this job is you cannot always stop people from making bad decisions and they have to live with what they decided to do forever.  If he had killed someone, he'd be down in the jail on homicide charges.  He's lucky the sheriff was being fair."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  Thanks."

"I know it doesn't make you feel better, Xander.  It never will."  Xander nodded.  "Now, go sleep.  You haven't yet."  Xander grimaced but went to his apartment in the single people's building.  Tony went to file the report on this incidence and the hunter.  Hopefully the sheriff would be able to keep him on attempted murder or send him to wherever he had killed the last few times was.

***

Tony looked out across the sea of people there for the inauguration.  He had been summoned in to talk to the president.  He had no idea why but he had been.  He watched the swearing in, looking across the crowd.  He had decided to bring Xander with him this time, so he was watching Xander watch the crowd too.  So when Xander tensed, it was a bad thing.  He looked where he was and didn't see anything.  Well, no.  Wait. A small heat shimmer.  He moved closer, following his agent, who was following the heat shimmer on the cold day.  Then Xander pounced the invisible person, making some people scream when she appeared underneath him.  "Nice work," he said.  He handed over the special cuffs.  It short circuited the hands and wrists, which meant if she had any powers that went through them they were also short circuited.  They hauled her up and to the waiting Secret Service agents.  "Hey, Bob."

"Tony.  Where are you now?  Gibbs is howling in displeasure, man."

"DCIS."

"That explains why you have the blue and orange person then," the other agent said.

"This is DiNozzo.  He's the second-in-command Gibbs is growling over losing."

"Don't tell him but we've got Abby too," he said with a grin.  "Those cuffs were her idea."  He put her into the back of the car.  "Xander?"

"Standing guard," he sighed.

Tony grinned. "You wanted to go back to the Oval Office?"

"Um, no.  Ugly carpet, boss."

Tony walked off chuckling, letting himself be led off by the presidents guards.  "Hey, Joe."

"Tony.  What was that?"

"DCIS business."

"Damn glad it's not me."

"I think that's our agency's motto," Tony said thoughtfully, cracking them up.  "The boss still being a pain?"  Everyone nodded.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Joe promised.  "Abby?"

"Don't tell him but I've got Abby."

"That's good.  How's she liking the snow out there?"

"Lots and lots.  She and Xander made snowmen with the younger slayers yesterday until someone suggested an idea.  Them and my computer techs."  That got a laugh and they pulled into the White House.  "Ah, this place again.  I went on a tour once.  I thought it was a great place.  Then I had to start playing politics at work."  They all laughed but he was led inside.  "Sir," he said, smiling as he walked in.  "Sorry about her."

"Who was that with you?"

"Xander Harris.  Head of the Slayer's Council and my second-in-command at the moment."

"I see.  You know you're not officially in charge?"

"Of course.  You'd drive me nuts."

The president burst out laughing.  "That's a good thing at least.  How is it going?"

"We are at full staff, fully stocked, and have been handling cases since the week I took over.  There were two agents on one the day I showed up actually.  Xander was handling it with a team leadership approach.  I've successfully poached a few good hires.  We have three investigative teams.  Each one has at least one CSI on it for gathering evidence.  Abby has the lab working well and they can all work with her.  We have the special prison set up and two new residents in it.  We have the local town's cooperation and they do appreciate us.  We've worked with them on a few cases.  One of the jail's residents came from a case in LA that was handled by a local liaison we trained to work with us.  The other came from a local case.  A werewolf hunter with over sixty kills to his name."

"Good," the President agreed.  "What do you have left to set up?"

"Xander's still dealing with the issues in England over the Watchers Council being destroyed by the First Evil.  They lost all the knowledge they had as far as we know.  Since right now the slayers are under our control...."

The president scowled.  "Why?"

"There's three watchers left, another that's comatose in our infirmary thanks to the explosion in LA because they had a power battle, and most of them are underage.  They're doing the same work and training them works well for us because our people need some of the same training, sir.  During that battle in Sunnydale, they had to activate *all* the slayers.  No matter how old.  We have one placed with a foster family that's six and activated."  That got a shudder.  "They know.  They're doing wonderfully with her.  One of her big brothers is our liaison officer out there actually.  I know the first year is expensive but the salaries are typical of what the FBI pays for those same positions and we've had a lot of good come of us doing the work instead of traumatizing others.  Like earlier.  I'm not sure if your detail would've spotted her since she was cloaked."

"I saw that.  That was good work."

"That was Mr. Harris."

"Oh.  I see."

"Who has been doing this same work since he was sixteen, sir."

"Ah.  So practical experience.  That's reasonable.  Do you see any areas you're lacking in?"

"Xander was talking with Wesley, the watcher who's assigned to the active hellmouth in Cleveland.  He said if we can find the library it's likely going to be in different languages.  I know Xander speaks some.  The slayers instinctively know some demon languages and most of the older ones know Latin."  That got an odd look.  "It's the typical research book language.  As Wesley put it, they spend their second year of Watcher training doing everything in Latin."  That just got a nod.  "It got past the language barriers the girls had.  That's something that may come up someday if we're asked to oversee something like a treaty or something.  Xander got asked to witness one last week," he said at one of the guard's snorts of derision.  He groaned.  "They all know we're fair, no matter which side starts things, sir.  We handle it because no one else should have to.  I joked our team motto earlier was some guy saying 'better you than me'."

"Good.  I like that approach.  How often do you go out on cases?"

"We get stuff sent to us more often.  So far we've had to send out single agents ten times since November and a full investigative team once."

"So not too bad."  The president sat down.  "Do you think you can work with a politician above you?"

"Sir, one of the clauses in the contracts say that we will not force people to be someone other than themselves.  We need free thinkers and if they do what the director at NCIS did to my former agency, they're going to rebel and possibly kill in a few cases.  Someone who had a bit of knowledge, maybe a bit of sense; we'd like that.  Most of us though, we do something in the agency.  Even Xander has to help me do paperwork."  Xander was let in.  "She gone?"

"Called your former boss.  He's got her in a special, monitored, suicide cell with our portable containment field system in place.  That way I could show up and be pouted at."

"Most politicians yell, son," the president said.

Xander smirked at him.  "Why would I put up with that?  I get enough of that from the twenty slayers in residence we have right now, Mr. President.  You've never been yelled at until you've been yelled at by twenty teen and preteen girls.  At once."

"Preteen?"

"The six-year-old I told you about was the youngest but as of tomorrow we have eight under ten?"

"Yeah, think so," Xander agreed.  "Which is my duty to deal with as well as sit on an investigative team.  My people do the same thing his does only for different reasons.  My girls also help if there's a hunt situation and we have to track down something.  Not the little ones but the older, fully trained or nearly trained ones.  We also pay for our portion of the food because slayers eat like herds of animals at every meal."

"Would someone who's former military sitting overtop of you be good for your people?" the president asked.

"If they can put up with people like Abby, sir.  It takes a very open mind to deal with demons.  Most military people see things in a very clear cut way."

"Some are freer thinkers," Xander pointed out.

"Some are," Tony agreed.  "Most that I've met aren't."

The president nodded.  "What about someone who had a skill that you could use?  Someone like ... Fornell, is that his name?"  One of the guards nodded.

"He'd still have to put up with Abby.  He can, but they're not going to be tea drinking buddies and we have a cafeteria so there's going to be contact.  Fornell could, as long as he was warned ahead of time.  Actually, another agent might be nice," he admitted.  Xander nodded.  "Have you found any more watchers?"

"Found more dead watchers.  Another six probates we have to deal with so their magical artifacts and books don't get into the mainstream.  How Travers created this big of a mess I do not know but I want to unbury him and kick his ass around for a bit."

"He might possess you too," Tony said dryly.

Xander looked at him.  "He wasn't that good alive.  At least Tim was."

Tony snickered.  "He certainly was."  He looked at the president again.  "We try to keep things at least civil since we're working and living together.  It'd be better if whoever was coming in knew something about dealing with people, sir.  Just so they don't get too stressed out or driven insane by the girls doing PT in the snow like I was the other day."

"The girls thought it was brilliant to build snowmen so they could do crossbow practice that way," Xander defended.  "So did Benny Ray.  Even if you did piss a few girls off by grounding them from chocolate for a week so one of them was a Tony snowman."  The president coughed.  "Sorry."

"Why do you live on the base as well?"

"Because if something happens, we don't have time to come in from separate houses, sir," Xander said.  "The last apocalypse we had warning to get ready but not when it'd start.  We had to be ready when it started.  The next one, from what we've heard in underground rumors, we won't even have that.  A day's warning at the most to get people into place and it'll be in LA.  Downtown LA.  Like that Wormhole Extreme show that I'm told isn't really real, yet I know a hacker who knew one of their hackers way back when, we're on the frontlines of this particular problem.  There's going to be times when having the National Guard around would be nice.  Slayers take up that problem and there's still probably going to be ones that the National Guard would be nice to have."

"The last president decided to have us live there so we were in constant, immediate help range," Tony agreed.  "We both came on after the base renovations were done with, sir.  Xander got told about the program when they showed up to take the younger slayers out of harm's way  I got told when I got appointed to my job at a personal interview."  That got a nod.  "We do use what's there, like the pool.   It's how Xander unstresses so he doesn't kill the girls when they get whiny.  We use the gym we have set up for training purposes and PT to keep in shape.  He set it up so there's a singles' quarters and a married and couples' quarters in two old barracks buildings that were pretty big.  There's also grunt and newbie barracks which the girls live in.  Even though half the time they seem to live on my couch so they can steal my movies."

"They can't go home?"

"Even if a few can, and most can't, what sort of home is going to be able to train them to deal with the violent urges they have because of the calling or the super strength and enhanced senses?" Xander asked bluntly but he sounded kind to his ears.  "I'd love nothing more than to send them home.  Most of the girls were taken from their homes by the old Council and raised by the watchers.  Some as young as six days old."  The guards all hissed at that.  "We don't do that anymore.  I refuse to.  I will tell the girls what's going on.  I will help them if they want to stay home and their parents think they can deal with it.  Right now, we're dealing with all the girls that were already called and were already in Watcher custody.  We can't find records on them, they were in the building that blew up too.  Along with the library of all the knowledge we had."

Tony patted him on the back to silently tell him to calm down.  "We're doing phenomenal for a first year, start up agency, sir.  When Xander walked into it, they were handling the build up to the apocalypse in Sunnydale.  He had ten young girls that he had evacuated and then he went back to get more after the battle that were injured or needed mental help after their first real fight was really a war; the Watchers did something to try to take over by blowing up the building they were in and putting everyone else into some strange coma.   Our motto so far has been 'we'll handle it' and then we keep going.  Half  the time, we're making up things as we go along.  Our RD department is wonderful.  The cuffs we used today came from them.  The first fully created pair actually.  It shorts out any gifts you may have in your hands.  Including for those who use magic.  Whoever you put above me, let them know that.  Let them know that we're all sometimes doing double duties.  I take field cases, I take training times.  I recruit, all that.  Xander does too.  Plus his duty to the girls that're left.  Unless you want to hire us some more people then our budget is pretty well set with the expenditures I reported last month.  Maybe a bit of room in the travel budget for emergencies and things.  Half of the people in our books are local liaisons.  Someone to handle the stuff locally and who know when to call us in instead of going to stake the vampire themselves.  That problem has come up once or twice."

"So you need someone who's got a loose style of leading but who can help out if necessary?"

"If they're going to sit in the office and complain about their suit, they're probably going to be found frozen in the snow," Xander said honestly.  "Tony and I both pull sixteen hour days, sir.  None of our teams are exactly idle, even if they're not overworked yet.  If they start to we may need to add another team.  I'm not sure.  I'm told things are going to be different after the next apocalypse.  I'm hoping so.  I don't know why though.  Again, book was in England and got blown up."

"I'll take that into consideration.  Do we reimburse the slayers or pay salaries to them?"

"I was able, with Wesley's help, to find the people over there who dealt with the Council's finances.  They've turned that over to me.  So no, you aren't paying for the girls to sneak out and go shopping.  Though I do wish someone would tell the gate guards to not let them out."

"I tried.  They're good at being sneaky."

"We still need to look into magical wards," Xander reminded him quietly.

"I know.  Dawn is.  As well as other things she said might be useful."  He patted him again.  "Who did you have in mind, sir?"

"I had one in mind but I don't think he'd work well.  He's very...typical of what you'd find at the FBI's higher ranks plus a bit political."

"Sir, half the time our cases end in a death," Xander said honestly.  "The only way to stop a demon from eating someone when it's already doing it is to knock it out or kill it.  And about ninety percent of the time, you have to kill it in that circumstance or you become food too.  The rest are things like vampires terrorizing towns.  You can't really lock them up.  It'd pull all the Red Cross's supplies to feed them monthly.  Spirits we make go on if they're causing deaths or mayhem.  A good half the cases where humans are trying to do something against the demons, those end up in a stand off of some sort.  A real 'if I can't have my thing that makes me money no one can' issue.  It's part combat and part investigation.  We do what we can but right now we're kinda having all the small issues."

"I can see that, son.  You need some coffee to stay awake?" the president asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I slept last night since the girls weren't having nightmares and trying to sneak in to cuddle.  But thank you for asking, sir."  He smiled sweetly.

"We warn all new incoming people that the girls squeal and pounce, sir," Tony told him.

"My daughter did the same for years," he agreed.  "You'll keep me informed of the bigger bad things?"  Xander looked at his calendar then circled a date.  "The tentative date for the next one in LA?"  Xander nodded, handing back the pen.  "We'll keep that in mind.  Thank you, boys."

"Not a problem, sir.  We'll take our prisoner back with us."  Tony nodded and walked out.  "Xander, no bouncing in the White House.  You scare people," he chastised as they walked out together.

"I tried not to."

"I know you did."  They got shown to their rental car, which the Secret Service had picked up for them, then they got to pick up their prisoner.  "Do not irritate Gibbs," Tony warned before they walked inside.  "Hi, here to pick up," Tony said dryly to the guard he knew.  "Our strange one?"

"Cells, DiNozzo."  He led them that way.  "Nice tackle, sir."

"Thanks." Xander grinned.  "Perfected it taking chocolate away from a female friend with issues."  The guard laughed.  Xander looked in the cell.  "Awww, you went back to invisible.  How cute."  He pushed a button on the top of the generator and it zapped her unconscious again.  "There we go."  Tony went in to recuff her and make sure she had been frisked, handing Xander something.  "Tony, cloak on her head, that's not hair."  He came in to remove it and she struggled but yay.  It made her quit going invisible.  They got her out to the rental and found someone behind them when they moved to get in.  "You must be Gibbs."

"I am.  DiNozzo."

"Boss."  He grinned, leaning on the roof of the car.  "How's everyone?"

"Bored.  You guys?"

"Not so bored.  We've got a lot of stuff we're settling into right now.  This is Xander, he's my second-in-command at the moment."  Xander nodded politely.  He checked the prisoner then his former boss again.  "You look good."

"No cases this week.  Where is Abby?"

"Safe."

"With you?"  Tony nodded.  "You stole her?"

"She's heading my RD department and my labs, Gibbs.  With cases like this, can you blame me for getting someone who can figure out what goo belongs to which group of demons?"  Gibbs snorted.  "She's had to come up with ten new tests since she joined, Gibbs.  Really.  Plus some new containment procedures.  Xander, she's muttering."  Xander glared and she slunk down.  "Thank you.  Maybe we should get one of the girls on these trips?"

"We get more fully trained and you can have one per team.  You know that."  He looked at Gibbs again then opened the back door and took something off her throat before slamming it again.  "Sorry, missed one."

"It happens to the best of us," Tony assured him.  "I'm sorry, boss, but I needed someone who could rewrite forensics for me.  She could.  She loves it.  She's got a bunch of girls there to mentor.  She's become a house mother to the younger slayers.  You should call more often."  He smiled.  "We should get her back before she tries to escape again."  He grinned.  "Come see us sometime, Gibbs.  We're not that mean.  Just a bit hard to find at the moment with all the snow."  He smiled before sliding in to drive, Xander getting into the passenger's seat.  They pulled out and Tony sighed.

"If you want him that much, ask him out," Xander said.

"Still straight, Xander.  No matter how much you and Abby think I'm not."

"Uh-huh.  That was a girl sigh, Tony."

"It was not!"

"It was too.  I hear plenty of them all the time.  It was a girl sigh."  He looked at their prisoner then at him.  "None of us will care where you stick it, the same as you don't care about where we do."  Tony grimaced but shook his head. "Okay, if you're sure."  He looked at the prisoner again. "I can feel that and I will keep you unconscious the whole flight back."  She slumped again and quit trying to escape.  She knew of this one and he meant it.

***

The president called a special man over in the Pentagon.  "I need a direct number to someone and I think you have it."  He leaned back in his chair, listening to him ask who he needed to see.  "I need to see your boss's best friend and teammate.  Yes, him.  Here, tomorrow, or video conferencing from wherever he might be at the moment as long as it's a secure channel.  Because I have an offer for him and I think he's the only one that can get it done," he said honestly.  "Yes, I'm serious and you'll probably be yelled at when he takes me up on it.  That's fine, we can arrange that.  Please.  Anytime tomorrow.  Buzz me first to let me know.  My secretary will be waiting."  He hung up and looked over the budget as it stood.  Not *too* bad but they were being hopelessly optimistic based on what Homeland Security went through in its first two years.  So he fixed that problem and sent it off with his Chief of Staff to make sure it was pushed through. They did not need DiNozzo or Harris getting upset when their budget ran short with a few months left to go in their fiscal year.  With the file his people had found on Harris, that might be a bad thing.  A very bad thing.  Which would be up to that agency to fix.

***

Tony looked up as their new boss's ride landed, smiling at the military transport.  He stood up straighter against the side of his beloved mustang, nodding when the younger looking man walked down.  He was about his age.  Looked pissed.  "He told you and didn't let you make a decision?" he guessed.

"He did.  Pulled me off my old project and put me on a plane last night after our discussion.  Not that I was doing a lot there since my team's on permanent hiatus."  He shook his hand.  "Daniel Jackson."

"Tony DiNozzo.  Your agency's senior agent.  I've been doing your job for the last few months."

"Does that mean there's a lot of paperwork?  You look tired."

"We had a hunt last night."  He nodded.  "Get in?  It's chilly out here."

"I was in Colorado."  He did put his bag in the trunk and walked around to get in.  "Agency cars?"

"Personal car.  Do you have more stuff coming?"

"It'll be shipped."

"That's fine.  We have a moving company on retainer for the next six months."  That got a nod but a small smile.  "It was easier while I recruited.  I could whisk people away before they had second thoughts about dealing with us."  He pulled them off, heading back to the base.  "What did they tell you?"

"It's a lot like my last posting but with more sane people.  My last team leader was a bit insane.  Mostly from the paperwork he just got nominated to do."

"Then you and Xander should get along pretty well.  He did tell you we're dealing with demons?"

"No," Daniel said slowly, then laughed.  "Not much different then."

"I heard about yours and your third-in-command knew a hacker that talked with a hacker on your project, Daniel."

"I knew there were some leaks.  That show came out."

Tony snickered.  "Xander watches it with the girls."  Daniel groaned.  "Sorry.  You'll probably like Xander.  He's also head over the Slayer's Council.  We have the girls since there's almost none left and a lot of them were underage."

"Girls?"

"Long story.  Want it from the start or just an  outline?"

"Tell me whatever you think I need to know, Tony."

"That'll take longer than the ride back to base, Daniel."

"Danny's fine."

"Sure.  Well..."  He went into the whole story, how the agency got started, why Xander got sucked into it, all that.  He finished up with a, "Xander's off recruiting two people at the moment to teach people lessons on what's what for his people but also ours in case we need it."  By then they were parked outside the gate and Tony was waiting on Daniel to do something.

The quiet groan he got was a good sign.  He'd fit in well with their insanity.  "But we're all set?"

"We've been handling cases since I got here," Tony agreed.  "Mostly singly.  One team level case."  That got a grin and a nod.  "You'll do fine.  You're our only linguist.  There's lots of them available to study.  Ask Xander, he'll tell you."  That got a nod.  "Your past military experience will be good for some of us.  I got us people who could think freely but they're still mostly cops and agents.  We need some framework and really, I hate paperwork.  I've got it cut down to approving cases after they're done to hand on, monthly reports, and the budget."

"Thank you."

"I had to make it so I could stand to do it."  That got a laugh and a nod.  "You ready to be pounced?  The younger girls all pounce and squeal."

"Yeah, I can stand some happy people."

Tony restarted the car and drove them to the gate.  "Paul, this is our new agency head, Daniel Jackson."

"Sir.  If you have a personal vehicle, your parking spot is the blue one by the single people building.   Let us know if you have any problems."

"I will, thank you."  He saluted and Danny saluted back.  They drove on. "This is nice."

"The last president decided it'd be easier if we lived together.  Which it is.  With the snow we get here it's a lot easier to find them.  The brick building that's only two stories high is the slayers' quarters.  Single people is the tower on the left, married on the right.  Green roofed building with the ivy being worked on by a few of the people is the admin., case floor, lab, and magic building.  Armory is the blue door.  I'll give you the full tour."  He parked in Danny's spot, getting a scowl from the guard on patrol.  "I brought him with me."  He got out and so did Danny.  "Jerve, this is Daniel Jackson, our new head of the agency."

"Sir," he said, saluting.

Danny waved it off.  "I was a civilian contractor.  No need to salute."  He smiled and let it go.  "Good job making sure we should be here."

"Thank you, sir.  DiNozzo, Wolfe's freaking out in the armory.  His OCD fit is annoying Riddle."

"I'll get to him in a minute."  That got a nod and they went to check Danny into his place, making him smile at all the touches that had already been stolen from his apartment.  "You actually get the biggest apartment.  If you run out of library room we have an official one you can claim a bookcase or three in.  C'mon, gotta save Ryan from the Marine."  They walked out together, heading to the armory.  "What happened?" he asked his arms master.

"No clue.  He stormed in here and got to work cleaning *everything*.  He won't talk and he's humming again."  Tony winced.  "I'll let you handle it."  He looked at the other guy. "New recruit?"

"Daniel Jackson.  I got appointed last night to run this mess."

Benny Ray grinned.  "It's not too bad.  If Xander was in control it'd be worse."  Tony walked off nodding at that.  "I'm Benny Ray, I'm the arms master here on base.  We have individual lockers for personal sidearms and the armory.  What're you competent on, sir?"

"Danny's fine, Benny Ray, and I just left a military contract."

"Wonderful."  He led him inside, watching as Danny pointed at some things.  "Anything you favor so we can set her aside for you?"

"I'm going to miss my zat.  I'll want to use it on politicians."

Benny Ray gave him an odd look then smirked.  "Deke!"  His helper came out of the back.  "This is Daniel Jackson."

"Sir, it's an honor.  I've heard what you've done for this planet."  He shook his hand.  "What can we do for you?"

"He's the new head.  You got anything like he was using?"

"Got at least one so I could look them over."  He led him into the special back room, finding him a zat.  "You need to check that.  I was fixing the trigger wire."  Danny fired it at a target on the wall.  "Hmm, looks like it works.  Let me know if it doesn't."  He handed him a staff weapon too.  "You might need that too."

"If I do, there'd better be an emergency."  He handed it back.  "I'll use it on a politician."  They both laughed. "Thanks, guys."

"Let me get you your locker, Danny."  He walked him out to show him his locker, get him his key, and put a regular sidearm into it just in case he needed it.  "I put reloads in there after it's checked back in.  Cleaning stuff and more bullets are behind the door if you need it."  That got a nod.  He looked around.  "Wolfe must've moved onto ice cream."  He led him off.  "This is our gym and training area.  One of my teammates runs the training for self-defense and with the slayers.  He and Xander agreed, even the youngest get it in case they're attacked.  You're lucky, they're in classes or we'd all be pounced by the squeal patrol."  He led him on.  "This is our caf.  Pretty decent food.  Now and then the girls take it over and make special meals that end up with dessert."

"I've noticed we don't have a lot of women."

"Tony tried to recruit about ten of them, none of them wanted to come.  Too sensible to be messed up in this was the usual answer he complained about.  He complains he has no one to flirt with."  Danny smiled so he got him some coffee and they walked on.  "As you can see, we have underground tunnels between the buildings.  The special jail for demons is down there too.  Just in case something happens.  We've only got four residents.  One human werewolf hunter, three demons.  Including the one that tried the president the other day."

"I saw that.  That was good work."  He sipped his coffee as they kept going.  He smiled at the library.  "This is nice."

"Most of the books in here Xander brought with the girls.  It's what he managed to evacuate from Sunnydale."  He shrugged.  "Don't ask me what happened.  He told me and it made my head hurt."

"My last project did that to many people."  That got a laugh and they walked off, finding more places that he needed to see.  Abby gave him a careful hug when he got to the lab.  He smiled at her for it and she bounced off again.  The case floor looked like most police precincts he had seen.  Desks grouped together, coffee maker in the corner.  One guy hating his paperwork.  They moved onto the office.  Danny smiled at the touches he had that showed Tony had basically lived in the office.  "Who did the finger paints?"

"Cordette.  She's six.  Willow's spell activated her too," Tony said with a smile.  "She's with a foster family in LA.  One of our local liaison agents who's FBI.  His brother's on call in case we need his math speciality for something and she's loving her school.  Alan's kept her happy, cheerful, bouncy, and wonderful.  We pop in each time we're in LA."  He smiled at Benny Ray.  "Call from Eric and Calleigh."

"Ah.  Old friends who weren't guilt tripping him because he never fit in and came here where he does.  Gotcha."  He handed him over.  "Showed him admin., Abby, caf, case floor, and the library, boss."

"That works.  Thanks, Benny Ray."  He nodded and left.  "Xander's bringing back two to help with the slayer training.  Both with weapons experience."

Benny Ray grinned.  "We'll see."  He walked off, going back to his armory.  This was the easiest job he had ever done.  Even if he did have to  put up with the squeal patrol.  Dawn stopped him in the hall, staring at him.  "Yes, you still have to qualify on the range.  New head's in.  He's a nice guy."  She smiled and walked on.  "Telepathy work?"

"No, not yet.  Still trying."

"Xander's recruiting for your side."

"I heard they're cute.  The girls will have new crushes."

"Good, it's freaky when one pinched me last week," he muttered as he walked off, making her cackle.  She was still healing but getting better.

***

Xander knocked on the motel room door, holding up his badge.  "We need to talk, boys."

"Who're you?" Dean Winchester sneered.  He looked at the badge.  "ISC?"

His brother Sam sat up on his bed suddenly.  He knew that acronym!  It had been all over the networks he searched on!  "International Slayer's Council?"

"Yup."  He walked in and shut the door, looking at the loudmouth.  "I'm the unfortunate head Watcher in this universe until Giles wakes up or I can talk Wes into taking it back."  Dean laughed.  "We have twenty-six slayers left that we know of.  We need to have someone who can help us find others and honestly, I need help training.  We're working with DCIS but they still need hunting training."

"DCIS?" Sam asked.

"You know that little office in Homeland that used to give out demon information if you asked?" Xander asked.

"Yeah.  Dad said they were morons messing where they shouldn't be."

"After a demon assassinated a president, yeah," Xander agreed.  "But necessary.  We investigate it no matter which side interferes with the other.  We're technically sheltering under DCIS because we've got a bunch of young girls and just me.  The other two are on hotspot areas.  One of the last three of us is out hunting girls and he's not that good at it. The other guy's taking a rotating slayer on the new hellmouth.  We've got a few in LA.  Then I've got the rest.  I can't train them all.  The DCIS guys are good, but they're not hunters.  They don't know what we need to train them to do.  They can train them as commandos but staking a vampire is different than shooting someone in a tree."

Dean nodded.  "Then why come to us?"

Xander smirked.  "Because if I didn't the FBI is coming tonight to throw you both in  the pokey.  Since you're on our side and we're fierce bitches about our caseload, which they don't want anyway, they turned your case over to us.  If you'll come help me with the slayers, we'll shield you from the credit card fraud, weapons charges, two homicide charges, and the shitload of assault charges that follow you guys around."

Dean sat down, staring at him.  "Two homicide charges?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"They decided two of the things you hunted were still human.  You never showed them differently."  He pulled up his PDA and accessed their files, handing it over.  "That is what I got from the FBI.  They want to toss you in jail but I claimed you when I heard from a snitch over there that the boss has.  He decided you might have some use.  I know you guys know a lot.  Our agents could use the teaching.  The girls really could.  I was a hunter myself before Sunnydale fell in but I had a watcher who did most of the research for our slayer."  He looked at Sam.  "I can promise you housing, a paycheck, we all live on base.  There's the demon prison.  The twenty girls in residence are doing good.  I'm doing the best I can and I will warn you they squeal and pounce."  He looked at Dean again.  "If I walk out and you guys don't follow me, they're watching.  Which would you rather do?  I can help you with the field stuff.  The girls can help you with the field stuff.  You'd be able to get any case that you felt was needed as field training as long as it wasn't an active DCIS case."

"We have one that's a family vendetta."

"Okay.  And?"  He shrugged.  "Still holds.  Plus Dawn's learning magic.  She's a powerful witch but she's sixteen."

Dean looked at him.  "What's the bad for us?"

"The girls will crush.  They'll squeal and pounce.  They're bouncy."  Xander sat down on the foot of the bed to stare at him.  "When Willow did her spell to activate enough slayers for that battle, she called them *all*.  Including one that's six that we placed with a foster family in LA."  Sam moaned and slumped.  "I've got seven who're now under ten.  We had a few birthdays this month.  They need the same training and I can't train them.  We have a good defense trainer with DCIS's guy, Major Matt.  I can teach them how to hunt.  I can't do it alone and saving other hunters from a fate worse than being eaten for doing the job is right to me.  I'm not going to say you can't network with your people.  Nothing like that.  Hopefully within a year we'll be able to wake up those from the LA explosion so there's a real head watcher.  I'm a sub since Wes didn't want it."

"What explosion?" Sam asked.

"Some of the watchers wanted to take control so they blew up Angel's building in LA," Xander told him.  "However they did it, Rosenburg went missing and the rest of everyone, including Angel, who is a vampire, is in a coma.  They came after the younger girls too.  Some they tried to kill; some they didn't.  We managed to save twenty-six and we have another fifteen in a coma in our infirmary."  He looked at Dean again.  "I need help.  You guys aren't quite the A-Team but you'll do and you won't have to watch your brother be molested in prison.  I'm hoping I can make them give up within a year. If not, it may be two but you can still hunt with the girls as field training."

Dean considered it.  "You're sure?"

"Look outside."

Dean went to look out the window.  "There's a Fedmobile out there."

"I have a plane waiting to take us to North Dakota," Xander said, standing up. "We can bring your car.  Not an issue.  Mine's a rental."  He grinned.  "That way everything you hold dear comes with you.  All I'm asking is to give us a try.  If you can stand it, then we're all good.  If not, then maybe we can work something out.  We do have liaisons doing part of our job for us.   A roaming pair shouldn't be that hard to sell."

Dean looked at him.  "A year?"

"If possible.  I'm hoping I haven't screwed them up that badly yet."

"I doubt you have," Sam said.  He and his brother held a silent conversation then he nodded.  "I'd hate prison more."

"You guys can get off base. The local town's great," Xander promised.  "They love us.  We have a fully recommissioned base.  It's got everything."

"Armory?" Dean asked.

"With a Marine who used to teach newbies weapons over it.  He was on a strike force team.  His former boss is in charge of self defense training.  One of the guys is an agent on a field team.  He's former DEA.  Their loose and free agent helps out wherever we need him to.  I will warn you we don't care which side started it.  We investigate it if humans are bothering demons or demons are going after humans.  We've gotten both sides.  If it's not harmful we don't bother them."  That got a nod and Xander felt the bad thing going on.  "Hold on, need to make Tim go back to sleep again."  He closed his eyes and argued but this time Tim won.

"Sorry.  He's a bit bouncy himself.  Yes, the girls could use it," he told Dean, who was staring in horror.  "He was walking next to my grave going 'here, ghosty' and I looked.  Besides, he needed me.  Now the girls need what you can show them.  Before they all die. Most of them are good, nice girls but two I want to spank, he wants to spank, and Dawn wants to spank.  They're older ones too.  Oh, Faith might want to be spanked.  If you take her up on it, she doesn't do serious and it's all fine with us.  We don't care where you stick it as long as it's legal and doesn't screw up a case."

"You're possessing him?" Sam asked.

"Yeah.  Helped him hire one of our CSI agents too.  It'll be good for everyone.  Now pack."  Xander's head shook.

"Sorry.  Tim used to be a CSI in Miami.  We pissed off his former boss by poaching out of a cemetery when I got Tim.  The girls like to come bother him with personal problems since he's honest but grumpy.  Though I agree, some of the older ones are growing egos and need spanked.  So, let's pack and go, guys.  Feebs don't have that much patience."

"We're flying?" Sam asked.

"Military transport.  We semi-permanently borrowed one from the Air Force.  Only team cases and special times get the private plane."

"Want us to do an exorcism or something?" Dean asked dryly.

"Why?  He'd hang around and nag.  The girls would kill you.  He's my third.  We've got it worked out most of the time.  Let's go.  It's only four hours away.  The new head guy is showing up today.  He's going to be cool to work with.  He's used to more insanity and aliens."

"Aliens?" Sam asked.

"That Wormhole Extreme show was real?" Dean asked.

"A real project but it was highly classified.  They had a leak.  We aren't supposed to know that."

"Which one did we get?" Sam asked, looking concerned.

"The linguist from what my snitch said."  He waved a hand.  "C'mon, guys.  I let the girl take care of the ghost for you.  We banished it."

"You guys banish?" Sam asked, but he did start moving.

"Yeah.  What do you guys do?"

"Salt and burn the corpse or whatever's holding it," Dean said dryly.

"Oh.  Well, teach the girls that too.  It's a different method and they hate the banishing chant.  It's in regular Latin instead of the special use Latin the Watchers use."

Dean shook his head.  "We'll fix it."

"The girls who don't speak English speak Latin," Xander warned.  "We're working on it. We have one that speaks Mandarin Chinese.  English as a second language classes weren't as important as self defense at first."

Sam smiled.  "I'm sure the new linguist will be pleased."  They checked the room and found one last thing then they left together.  They headed off, following Xander.  The Feds were following them so they were a strange parade.  But once their car was on the plane the Feds left.  Sam shook his head.  This was going to be insane.

***

Tony looked at the two new, horrified, recruits then at Xander.  "This is dangerous."

"They do the real work, Tony.  They're here for the slayers and you guys can borrow them to teach the agents."  He grinned.  "If you're going around hunting demons, you can't do things by the legal textbook or you don't get things done."

"Credit card fraud?"

"How else do they fund the calling if they're on the road all the time?  Probably more common than you think."

"I guess.  Danny was amused at the girls when they came to babble at him in Latin.  He got their native languages and is going to help with the ESL classes."  He smiled at the two guys who looked back at him.  "Hey, Tony DiNozzo, senior agent in DCIS."

"From Gibbs' team?" Dean asked.  Tony gaped.  He smirked.  "Our dad's a former Marine.  Heard of him when a few of his friends got into trouble.  Relax, we don't eat anything but junk food."

"We try to keep Xander off his junk food diet but we're not always successful.  Don't feed him chocolate," Tony said dryly.  A few of the girls giggled at that.  "Let's get you two settled in."

"Already did, introduced them to Danny, who was horrified when I walked past him and said hi and knew his name."  He grinned sweetly.  "Speaking of, you've got a problem coming in Miami according to the underground in LA.  Crissy's email said so."

"We'll see what we can do," he agreed, going to check Xander's email for that.  Abby could do that for him and find the issue too probably.   They really needed to give Xander a new email and use his old one for tips.  He ran into Dawn on the way.  "New slayers team helpers are in."

"Oooh. The poor girls."  She went to help peel the girls off them.  "Just because they're pretty doesn't mean we're not on the schedule, girls," she called from the doorway.  They all glared.

Xander nodded.  "She's right.  They're teaching you older girls how to hunt demons and some of the demonology classes.  You'll see them at dinner.  Shoo."  They trudged off.  "Keep it up, no dessert."  They trudged faster and tried to look cheerful about it.

"You survived the squeal patrol, I'm impressed," Matt Sheppard called, heading for the gym since they had him.  Xander gave him a pat on the arm in sympathy as he walked past him.  "At least I won't have to listen to them thinking about hitting on Messer today."

Xander giggled.  "See, we're insane, doing good work for the world, and fun," Xander said with a grin.

"I'll agree with insane and probably fun, we'll see about good work," Dean said, giving him a look.  Xander grinned back.  "Where are we teaching?"

"They have classes downstairs from their dorms."  He walked them that way.  "By the way, Benny Ray is over the armory if you need stuff or want to get with him sometime soon, Dean.  He's got all the cleaning stuff too."  He pointed at a door.  "External entrance to the armory.  Or take the tunnel and the first right."  He opened the slayers' building's main door.  "This is the girl's building.  They live on the second floor in dorm style rooms.  Down here we have six classrooms.  All but the last one are taken but we have a bigger, empty storage space if you'd rather."  He showed them into one.  "This is where I've been doing demonology.  Then I go teach a class on it to the agents who're in residence.  Straight out of the book for me.  I've only handled about a hundred."  He heard a knock then someone walked in.  "Danny.  Problems?"

"Faith said the other guy sent her another girl before dying."

"Wonderful," he sighed.  "Okay.  Is Faith keeping her or bringing her home when she comes in two days so Colleen can go?"

"Do Mandy and Crissy come back?"

"They refused.  I told them when they needed a break to call for one."

"I guess that's fine," he decided.  "The new girl goes where?"

"Depends on her age and personality.  I'm not going to stick one that's in her early twenties with one of the kids."  That got a nod.  He got the three main classification manuals for Sam.  "The majority of what we run into is in there.  Special cases, specially called things, those things, can be found in the library.  I talked Giles into sending his books and stuff with us when we evacuated the youngest girls from Sunnydale.  Plus all the really dark artifacts and anything Spike found laying around Sunnydale."

"Spike?" Danny asked.  "Did I meet him?"

"No, he died and his death closed the hellmouth out there for good.  It started the sucking problem."

"Oh, okay.  Read that report.  Any idea on the comas?"

Xander shook his head.  "I'm researching when I can.   Dawn too.  I can warn you now there'll be a fight when they wake up.  Buffy was on a 'mother slayer' kick and didn't want normal people around again.  She tried that right before I took the younger and injured with me.  I pointed out she didn't have anyone else to do it.  So we'll have an argument."  That got a nod.  "Anything else on the new girl?"

"Not yet."

"We still need people to find them.  Dawn's doing a location charm this weekend once she's gone over it with her teacher in Devon.  I'm hoping she can find Willow and Willow can wake them up.  I'm tired of being the head watcher.  A watcher, but not the head guy.  Oh, have to hit England next week.  Fair warning, I'll be in a foul mood when I come back.  Probates, all that stuff.  Insurance people too."  Danny winced in sympathy and patted him on the back before leaving.  "I need to check for open rooms."  He went up to do that, finding two open near Faith's.  Then he called her.  "How old, does she need a big sister, and is she going to need or want a roomie or special training?"  He listened then grimaced.  "How old?  And she can...  Well, I just got us two hunters to help me.  You can send Wes to England with me next week if you want.  Sure, that's fine.  I'll set her up with her own.  What's her name?"  He made the sign and put it up.  "All ready for her, Faith."  He hung up.

"She's fourteen and knows more about bombs than I do.  Her daddy's bomb squad and someone came after his team."  They all winced at that.  "So we'll see.  She's native though."  He heard the girls coming in and checked his watch.  "Time for ESL, Demonology one, and math."  He nodded and they headed down to work on that.  Abby was teaching math for him right now.  Danny was doing ESL lessons.  He walked into Demonology.  "We have a new girl found," he announced.  "Someone went after her parents.  Faith said she does not hug.  Fair warning."  He opened the book to his current spot.  "Okay, looks like we're back onto the class of demons that never came near the hellmouth."  He smirked.  "Sorry."  He went back to reading but Sam moved him. "You sure?"

"I have run into two of these at Stanford."  Xander let him have the lectern and sat down to listen.  He needed the lesson too.  Dean sat down next to him.  Dawn passed him a note, getting a smirk back.  He nodded and wrote a response, handing it back.

"Talk later," Sam said.

"Yes, Sammy," Dean said.

Xander grinned.  They'd work with the insanity they had going on around here.

***

Xander showed up at Giles' bed that night and looked down at him.  "Well, another good hire.  Got us two hunters to help the girls.  They're good, Giles.  They grew up learning this stuff.  They even said they'd ask their father and friends about going out to hunt other slayers so we can help them too.  Willow really screwed the pooch with her spell."  He smoothed out the blanket over his feet.  "But we're doing okay.  The agency is fully working.  We're going well and I'm still going on cases.  If you'd ever wake up, you could take over the job I don't want to have so I can do casework and mentor the girls instead.  Because the girls are scary together.  Really scary.  They even talked Dean into taking them shopping and traumatized him scary.  He begged for liquor when he got back scary.  But you probably saw that with Buffy.  Have a happy sleep."  He walked off, going back to check on his desk for needed casework stuff.  It was his job too.  No free rides around here.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: To Slay Or Not To Slay

Dean looked at the girls working out then grimaced, shaking his head.  "Not like that," he called.  He walked over.  "Your opponents will be stronger, faster, and probably taller than you are," he told them.  Matt Sheppard got out of his way.  "You are all gifted with extra speed, agility, grace, and strength.  Use it.  Find your own individual style and let's make the most of what you were given so you don't die faster."

Dawn pushed her hair back.  "Dean, that's a great sentiment, but most of these girls are learning the basics.  Most of us haven't had a lot of training.  Xander had to sneak and give me what little I got because my sister decided someone would always protect me.  The other girls were training but mostly with watcher who had not a clue what to do to do that.  The ones with the great training are in the coma in the infirmary."

"You're not a slayer?" Matt asked her.

"No, I'm Buffy's little sister and a witch in training," she said dryly.  "I have to take the same lessons, Xander said so."

"It's not a bad idea.  It'll keep the boys off your ass," Dean agreed.  He looked at Matt.  "Are they ready to move onto the real training of their gifts?"

"Maybe in another month.  They've gotten through all the basic forms.  They're learning their own strengths right now.  Which will help them later if they want to pick a different fighting style."  A tall brunette young woman walked in.  "Just found?" he asked.  "Or a new agent."

"Nah, I'm Faith."  She smiled and shook his hand then Dean's hand.  "Hey, cutey."

"Dean Winchester."

"Heard your family had a clue," she said with a grin.  "What's the sitch?"

"Moving them from the basics everyone can do into slayer training," Dean told her.

Faith nodded.  "Then let's give a practical demonstration.  Girls, move back.  Hey, D."

"Hey, Faith.  Xander insisted."

Faith nodded.  "Good!  B should've been teaching you all along.  Things come for the family of slayers.  That's the only good reasons the council had to take us girls."  She looked at one young one.  "You can sit back and watch too."

"Will I grow up like you some day?"

She smirked at her.  "We'll have to see about that, pumpkin.  You might grow up to be a good girl, like Buffy was."  She nodded and sat next to Dawn to lean on her. "Okay, let's rumble, boys."

Matt looked at her. "I've never tested you."

"Consider it now."  She attacked and Dean came in to help defend Matt, who managed to block her shot but not by much.  They were doing good with the standard moves but then Faith switched so it was like she was fighting a vamp.  Faster, stronger, moving so she was keeping up with them.  Matt was tripped but Dean kept up for a bit longer.  She smiled when they were both down and panting.  "That's the slayer's gifts in action," she said, turning around to look at the girls.  "That's why you learn what you can.  That was a nice fight.  I've had fights like that that've lasted over forty minutes.  So you train, that way you don't die."

One girl raised her hand.  "If they can't do what we can, how will they train us?"

"We'll get you to the point where you're better than us then let you spar with the other girls," Matt told her.  "The same as I teach you something and make you fight with them."  That got a nod.  "Faith also used multiple styles."  He stood up and Dean heaved himself up too.  "The more you know, the less chance you have of violating Xander's first rule.  So let's get up and go again while Faith watches.  Those she say can move on go to Dean next so he can start on the hunting training while I work on the faster skills."  They nodded and got up to show off for them.  He looked at Faith.  "Your overhand strike exposed a weak spot," he said quietly.  "You never guard your chest, just your face, and you nearly tripped yourself."

"I'm tired.  I just got in from Cleveland last night," she admitted.  "I know I suck at some things.  Buffy I am not and she's the better fighter."

"She's still in her coma," Dean told her.  He pulled two girls out, putting them against each other.  Different sized but the same style of how they blocked and fought.  He moved another set together as well.  "How many of these are on the active roster?"

"Anyone over seventeen, maybe some of the sixteen-year-olds if they volunteer," Matt told him.  "Most of them were decently enough trained by their former Watchers.  Some less than others.  One had a private teacher."

Dean nodded.  "It can only help.  At the higher level they can teach other the special moves they know in case they become handy."  That got a nod.  "But you've done great with the younger set, Sheppard."

He smirked.  "Xander started it and they're motivated.  Honestly, they're not bad kids.  Even if they do squeal and think your brother's their next pin up."  Dean snickered but nodded.  "They'll make it for as long as they can.  Even the little ones."  He caught one that was tripped.  "What do you do when you fall?"  She rolled and got back up to get her partner back for that.  "I want to move Dawn to the normal people classes.  She could get hurt in here."

Faith nodded.  "We can talk to X about that.  The new girl's fourteen but her daddy was bomb squad.  She's fit and might have a clue.  She's dropping trow in her room."  She went to find her missing chick, finding her lost and in the caf.  "Eat after PT."  She led her back there.  "This is Gloria."

"Matt Sheppard, basic self defense trainer.  Had any?"

"A bit from my father."

"Good, jump in.  Let's see how you go."  She went to jump in against Dawn, who backed off and shook her head. "She's not a slayer, Gloria.  Her sister is and she's a witch in training."

"They exist?" she asked Dawn, who changed her shirt so it was a better color for her, making Dean snicker.  "I guess they do," she admitted, looking down at her shirt.  "Neat, thanks.  Couldn't find the right color."  One of the older girls pounced her and she fought back, bringing her down to cuffing position.  They got up and did it again and this time the other slayer was a bit better trained but she was sneakier.

"Try me," Dean ordered.  She came over to fight against him and it was good.  He was better, more sneaky, and more trained.  He pulled back, nodding.  "She's the base level for hunting training," he told Matt, who nodded.  "Sneaky is good," he assured her.  "Beating them by however you can is the key."

"I try."

"Good.   I'm training you as a hunter while Matt here trains the girls in how to be good enough.  You see me after him  and before dinner after this.  He'll have you for an hour then you get me."  She nodded and he went to pick out a few other girls.  He looked at Faith's choice.  "She still trips and she's young," he pointed out.  "Xander won't let her go into the field.  Give her time to get better."

Faith nodded, looking at the younger girl.  "I can agree to that.  I know he wants them at least seventeen to go to a hot spot or handle an issue."  That got a nod from Matt.  "You're...."

"Thirteen in two weeks," she said with a cute smile.

"Then next year you can join the hunting class once you've proven to me you have the skills," Dean told her.  She nodded and went back to it.  "Dawn."  She trotted over.  "You're good and getting better.  Matt and I both think you should be working with the other normal people."

She shook her head.  "I'm herd mommy."

"You have your own classes," Dean pointed out.  "It'll give you an hour to do those."

She grimaced.  "Then I'd have to take lessons later."

"They do theirs in three groups.  It'd get you around the more adult people too," Matt called over.  He looked at her. "That way we don't have to worry about gifts that could hurt you."  She nodded at that.  "That works for me.  There's the group right after dinner.  Join it tomorrow night."  She nodded.  "Good.  Shower, girls."  They went to do that.  He smiled at the new one.  "It's common after you've been working out."

"I took one this morning and I'm not sweaty yet.  Is it cold in here?"  Matt nodded.  "What other skills am I learning?"

"Anyone over twelve qualifies on the range with Benny Ray."

"Crossbows?" Faith asked.

"A gun's an easier first step," Dean told her.  "Then crossbow training?"  He looked at Matt, who nodded.  "Any he's gotten there?"

"Two with Xander's help.  He's been using staffs with them and blades as well."  That got a nod from them.  "Faith, I'll expect you to help him.  He's got a bad case right now too."

"Of course," she snorted.  "Do the terror twins in LA get a break?"

"They said they don't want one," Matt said with a small shrug.  "He offers once a month."

"I'll talk to the idiots," she promised.  She nudged Dean then the new girl.  "Dinner after this?"  Matt nodded.  "Let's go graze then we'll check in with X-Man and his wild and wacky issues around the world.  Is that brunette with the hair your brother, Dean?"

"Yeah.  He's not that easy, Faith."

"I could use a challenge," she teased, walking off with Gloria.

Dean shook his head.  "Five bucks said Sammy spanks her at least once this week."

Matt laughed.  "Sucker bet.  Xander said he was."  They smirked and went to clean up for dinner as well.

***

Daniel looked at his stuffed, complacent, tired two head people.  "We have a few issues I'm seeing based on what I saw at my last posting."

Xander raised his hand.  "Dawn's looking at magical wards to protect the base from invasion.  We're also looking at raising the guard contingent with something that can detect magic or aggressive demons."

"That's good and part of one of my points.  What other arrangements do you think we need, Xander?"

"Why didn't we do this before?" Tony asked.

"I told you Dawn was looking at wards."

"I thought you meant of the court.  Like foster kids?"

"No.  Like protections to keep the bad things out."  Dean strolled in with Dawn.  "Problems or issues?"

"Issues.  Huge issues.  I can do the sensing spell to find any that the Bringers missed, but we have no way of getting to them."

"I'm working on that.  I'm hoping Matt can recommend or something.  I'd send one of the senior girls who we all thought was ready, maybe Mandy or Crissy, with that team.  The next?"

"We have a new head's up on the LA situation.  It will be an invasion."  Daniel hissed.  "We'll need the National Guard and all the girls."

"No way to stop it?" Tony asked.

She shook her head.  "Secret society doing bad things in and among Wolfram and Hart.  We've been looking over the problems they've caused but they've set it in motion."

Xander considered it.  "That portal thing.  Can you do it to move a lot of us here there?"  She nodded.  "What sort are we looking at?"

"Opening a gateway," Dean told him.  "Whatever comes, comes."

"Then we'll need to shut down the press there immediately," Daniel said.  "How much of a head's up can you give us?"

"None," Dawn said.  "We'll be waiting on a call.  We have some of the new sensors Abby worked up spread around the usual spots.  One's been tampered with by the white witch brigade out there.  I called to talk to the head of their coven and they said it's a good idea but they doubted it'd be where they gathered.  So I pointed out they weren't the only coven that gathered there and she got offended again.  Sorry, I tried.  The satanists that use that area are actually nicer."

"Are they calling or just practicing?"

"For now, practicing.  I talked to one of them through Crissy and she said they're not looking to bring anything back, just to get out of the rat race and be there for themselves instead of their groups.  Yuppie age satanists."  Tony shuddered.  "Two are agents of some sort she said.  If we're lucky, it'll be in an outlying area.  If not, we're screwed because the only stable portal areas in LA are the gateway to the Oracles, which is downtown and underground, or somewhere in Wolfram and Hart's building."

"I can start planning for that contingency.  How many of the older girls will we have to count on, Dean?"

"Seven."

Xander winced.  "Can we get the older ones up to the point where they can guard?  I know it's a long shot but the last I heard it'd be in May sometime we think."

"Still is," Dawn agreed.

Dean considered it. "If we can use weapons other than stakes, yes."

"I don't care what we have to use as long as we defeat it," Xander said honestly.  "I can't and won't expect most of the guys here to do stakes or swords.  I would expect guns."

"I'll get with Benny Ray about ammo then.  Do we want to go exotic?  Something like a flare?  Something to set them on fire?  Or simple, plain, blessed silver with some rock salt backups?"

"Stop by my place later with Benny Ray.  I've been working on some speciality ammo and I need someone to do a practical field test.  I can't expect the guys to carry holy water vials but I have managed to do a hollow tip with holy water inside," he said at Tony's look.  That just got a nod.  He looked at Dean again.  "Might as well sit in since Danny's been seeing some problems.  Dawn, the wards?  Not to be pushy."

"Six months before I can complete them.  I've done the alarm spells around the prison.  I've warded both the gates.  The infirmary.  Now I'm doing the outer fence and it's going to sap my strength for days on end while I'm working on that."

"Sectioning it?" Tony asked.

"Then you'd have panels, and it'd be like panel armor.  You could have someone strong enough to break the seam," Dawn told him, sitting on Tony's other side.  "If I'm doing the border fence, I need to do the whole fence at once."

"Do it from gate section to gate section," Danny said.  "That would minimize the problems with seams by keeping them under view."  She nodded at that.  "Then, later on, when you're stronger or able to take some time to do it, we can layer another one over them that covers that area.  I might be able to get us a few helping hands with some technology that could help around here."  Tony beamed.  "Do zat's work on demons?"

"No," Xander said.  "Deke said so.  Not unless energy hurts them.  Works well stopping magic users though, completely obliviates the spell going on."

Danny nodded.  "Good to know.  Dawn, if we had to, how many witches do we need?"

"We need at least one other good *trained* one because sooner or later we're going to run into a summoning circle or something.  I'm good but I'm in training.  I'll probably be stronger than Rosenburg ever could've been, even the time she went dark but I'm still training long distance with the coven in Devon, England."

"They're the only ones we know we can trust with her," Xander said at Dean's curious look.  "They helped when Willow went off the deep end out of grief.  They're good.  Giles trusted them.  I don't know of any locally that could train Dawn since she's damn powerful."

"Why?" Dean asked.  "I know there's some that're born strong but usually you work up to those levels."

She sighed and looked at him.  "Remember the Glorificus crap?"

"Unfortunately we heard about that.  Yeah."

"She was looking for an artifact."

"Sammy said she was looking of the Key.  That was in the first year I got him back.  So?"

"The monks that had the key put it in me to hide it from her when they created me and made me Buffy's little sister," she said quietly.

Dean frowned.  "Can you access it?"

"I can but I can't control anything of it.  Technically I could do worse than Willow did when she went dark that time after Tara died.  Only mine would be white magic destroying the world.  That's why I need a *good*, trustworthy witch I can train with.  All we knew of is the Devon coven.  Abby knows a few but she said they're more like homebody witches.  They can do protection spells but they're not focused on them the way I need to be to save my own ass."

"That's above and beyond being the sister of a slayer," Xander told him.  "Which is why she's in self-defense and I was working on it behind her sister's back, even though Buffy said she didn't need it."

"Every girl should have it to keep the boys who want too much off their asses," Dean told him.  Dawn nodded.  "Okay, so issue number three thousand is to find her a closer teacher, one who might help us if we needed to?"  Xander nodded.  "Any ideas?"

"They've been looking.  We have no clue.  They won't talk to me.  One of them said I'm a usurper so I sicced Wes on them.  They decided I'm not and someone had to take over since he couldn't, but I'm still not being talked to by them."

"Someone had to protect those girls.  Wes was needed in the field.  The other guy was a research guy.  Of course you needed to protect them.  They already trusted you," Tony assured him.  Xander gave him a grateful smile.  "If we ever get them to wake up down there, we'll make sure Giles knows.  That way no one can throw a fit."  He looked at her.  "Let me ask around.  I've been seeing who handled those sort of cases and if there's any sort of witch that can handle these issues they might know.  The one time I talked to anyone over there for you she was sneering that we're doing it this way.  Personally I don't like that."

Dawn nodded.  "I can understand that.  Thank you, guys.  I'm trying."

"Willow trained herself with Giles trying to stop her," Xander said.  "It's a practicality I don't like because you're good and you're ethical, but even you have mood swings and pouty moods and all that.  We all do.  A coven is safer because it gives you people to watch out when you go unreasonable."

She nodded.  "Exactly.  I want that safety net.  I'm in no way ready to go solo."

Danny nodded.  "Then I'll add that to my list.  I can ask too, see if anyone knows any."  He added that to his list on his desk.  "About the patrol creatures, Xander.  Are we talking cats?  I know they're rumored to do psychic and magical things."

"Some cat breeds can sense magic," he agreed.  "We'd have to set one in the gate houses though and one guard's allergic.  Maybe have the girls adopting a few for the base isn't a bad idea?  I've been asked about pets and if we get guard dogs they'll become pets."

Tony nodded at that.  "They'll coo, put pretty bows on it, all that."

"They'll understand if you tell them no," Dawn said dryly.

"If you say so," Tony shot back with a smirk.  "You can't tell me some of the younger ones won't."

"Are there any animals that would definitely help?" Danny asked Xander.

"Yes, one of the classes of hellhound could but I doubt the guards would be willing to work with them."

"That's my second issue.  If the best candidate for a job is from a demonic clan that has warriors but they're not inclined to attack humans, over a human that needs at least two years of work to get up to speed, what are we doing?"

"We had to get people to accept harmless," Tony said honestly.  "Peaceful would be a good thing though.  I mean, as long as they showed that they were peaceful.  They might balk at them being on investigative teams at first.  But maybe someone like a demon doc, a few guards, that stuff?  An easy, slow transition?"

"There's a few clans that could augment the security guards," Xander said, looking at Dean.  Who shrugged.  "You haven't run into a Rognoc clan member?"

"Could have.  No idea if we did.  We focused a lot more on spirits and natural manifestations like werewolves going rogue."

"We have one locally," Tony warned him.  "He bought werewolf blood and injected himself with it.  We had to pound the concept of safe enclosure into his head one morning.  The same day we caught a werewolf hunter who had over sixty kills."

Dean winced.  "I won't lie and say we haven't when necessary because they're terrorizing people, but my family doesn't go after them for parts or trophies."

"Hunting due to problems is what we do," Danny told him.  Dean relaxed at that.  "I only have an issue with your income generation method."

Dean grinned.  "Then pay us."

"Next payday is next week," Xander told him.  Dean nodded at that. "Bank in town will cash it and we usually go out in mass groups."  He looked at Danny.  "If they're the best guys or girls for the job, then more power to them.  We'll have to get the others used to it.  I like Tony's idea of starting with innocuous...  Sorry, Tim's word, safe, non-threatening demons at first.  I can see seeing if we can help with the security detail."

Danny nodded.  "That could help us?"  Dawn nodded quickly.  "Would there be demons who can lay wards easier than you?" he asked her.

"As long as they don't realize what I am and I can link into them, yes," she said firmly.

"We need something to let the rest of us know something's going on," Dean countered.  "Some sort of tell or alarm that'll hit everyone."  She grimaced but nodded.  "Not to say you won't, but even you have got to sleep.  Or you might be out of town for some reason."

"I know."  She looked at him.  "We can ask Mandy and Crissy to ask a few friends in LA.  There's a bar owner who holds a peaceful neutral area and he might know who."

"Good!" Danny agreed happily.  "Because my third point is you girls.  Xander, education stuff?  CPS stuff?  Do we have custody papers even?"

"Yes and no.  They were all registered in England as wards of the Watchers Council.  When we settled here I went to CPS myself, before they could say a word, and told them the truth.  The Watchers picked these girls for special education based on bloodline gifts, them showing certain genetic advantages, and were training them.  Then I showed them the video tape of the building exploding and what happened in Sunnydale.  I told them half of these girls came out of that incident.  Which they did.  So they know that we have them.   I explained how they were in danger from the same things that took out Sunnydale and that's why removing them from their families was done.  The CPS worker snorted and said they wanted better soldiers and I agreed but pointed out I wasn't like that and I'd be damned if I wouldn't kill myself if I turned into one of them.  She checked what we had, said it'd be okay.  Technically we are counted as home schooling the girls.  Yes I know we need more classes but I'm doing good right now to make sure they all make it to what they have," he babbled.

Tony looked at him but Dean said it.  "Most people need to breathe," Dean complained.

"Abby can do that," Tony said with a grin.  "She can even do it in science speak."

Danny laughed.  "Babbling is good."  He looked at Xander.  "So we're cool on all that?"

"We probably need to get them higher on the education stuff and I'm considering about sending them off base to the local public school in town.  They were complaining enrollment was down and that'd give them a boost.  But to be honest, we've got three girls whose only language is their native one and an off-shoot of Latin that the Watchers use.  We'd drive them nuts.  We'd have to get them out of PE so no one realized or got hurt.  I have no idea what we want to do about that."

Danny considered it.  "Let's work on getting the girls into the regular school system next year.  It's early February.  School starts in September.  That should give us enough time to get the ESL classes going very well.  Plus get the girls to a standard that's normal.  It'd also let them have some normal interaction, like dating maybe."

Xander whimpered.  "I'll have to have the sex talk, won't I?"

"Abby can," Dawn promised.  "I asked her.  She did good."

He reached over Tony to hug her.  "I love you."

"I know you do.  Get off before you wrinkle my prettiness."  He let her go.  "Me too I'm assuming?"  Danny nodded.  "Okay.  Xander, the Watcher money and stuff?"

"Set up," he said happily.  "All set up!  That means we can even afford to buy someone to go find the other girls once you find them."  He beamed at her.  "So when you do the spell, I want Sheppard there."

"Yes, dear.  I can do that."  She looked at Danny.  "We'll figure it out."

"Good.  That's what I expect."  He smiled.  "Go hit the sack."  She grimaced but went to do that.  He looked at Xander.  "You've done good for not doing it before and stepping in, Xander.  I'd have screwed up and turned them all into book nerds by now."  He grinned at that.  "Plus the cases on top of it.  I'm very impressed.  You're still not in command though so quit bullying the guards?"

"They needed it."

"They did," Tony admitted.

"I'm getting us a good, competent head of security.  One that'll deal with all that.  I like our present one but even he agreed that he's too lax and he won't care if the boss is fair."  They grinned at him.  "Okay.  Do the girls need anything?"

"Shopping probably but I refuse to go to a mall with twenty teenage girls.  Let Dean and Sammy so they get practical clothes instead of short skirts like Buffy did."

"She did?" Tony asked.

"That outfit in my wall picture?  She fought in that a number of times."

Tony grimaced.  "How?"

"She's Buffy.  They can do that."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at Danny.  "Any other problems?"

"No, those were my three worries for the most part.  Do we have any hires that we're hoping might show up in the next year?"

"Filing cabinet under wanted hires."  Danny got it out, looking at each profile sheet.   He looked at Dean.  "Are you going to need anything to help the girls and us?"

"More compact manual for identification."

"We were working on one but I'd have to have Willow's laptop and it's in LAPD custody after the explosion," Xander said.  "So were all their things."

"We can get that for you," Tony promised.  "Would hers have books?"

"Shrunken."

"Decent."  He went to make that call from his desk.   They could use it.

Dean looked at Xander.  "You've done good for being grunt level and planning support, Xander.  Relax.  You hired for quality and you got it.  Let us handle some of it.  You're doing ten jobs and have people to do three of them at least.  You don't have to do the girls' range times.  Benny Ray does that.  I can do that.   Sammy can even do that.  We can handle some of the things and if that Giles guy wakes up and starts to complain we'll pop him in the nose or something."  He nodded at Danny.  "Your people need the same demonology lessons.  At least for some things.  Plus the profiler I heard we have somewhere."

"DC.  He's on call if we need him."

"Then we need to get him the books too," Xander sighed.  "Do we have more than one copy in the library?"

"No."  Dean smirked.  "But Sammy was talking to a friend of our father's who moved that way after he left the service.  He said that the news showed Scotland Yard or whoever confiscating stuff from the old building."  Xander looked so hopeful.  "So when you go, ask."

"I hadn't even though to ask because they'll want to know what happened."

"Like with CPS, show them," Dean said bluntly.  "They've got someone over there that handles it I'm sure."

"Wes might know.  Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He nodded at Danny.  "Anything you need us to work on with the guys?"

"Not yet.  I do think we need some females.  That may be a gender bias to not want to deal with it."

"We probably asked the wrong people," Dean admitted.  "Let me make some calls, see if any of our people know someone to help Dawn."  He walked off, heading back to his and Sammy's shared apartment.  "Call Missouri," he said as he walked in.

"She already called; said she doesn't know anyone personally who can help Dawn but she's heard rumors so she's going to try a contact that might be mutual or able to get to her to see if she'd at least talk to our girl."  He came out of the kitchen with a sandwich.  "Why?"

"Dawn was born a very powerful witch."

"Oh."  He winced.  "How powerful?"

"She can probably destroy us all if she sneezes and the only teachers we have so far are a bit elitist and in England.  Possibly associated with the old Watchers Council."

"Oh, joy.  Well, if they know, they'll tell her.  Anything else?"

"Told Xander what you heard.  They were talking about some additions to the security stuff around here.  Wards and the like and some beasts that would be able to help with the patrolling.  We talked about the upcoming apocalypse a bit.  Not good news. We'll be having an all hands situation."

"That bad?"  He took a bite.

"They're talking opening a gateway invasion, Sammy.  We need to get the older girls up to date and you need to help research that magical coma shit."

Sam nodded. "Already started on it.  All they know so far is little but I found a few spells that might tell us more if Dawn can cast them."

"Good!  How much more?"

"It might tell us if it's demonic related or not.  All we know is that some Watchers did it.  They could've used anything or contracted it out."  He ate another bite.  "We might also be able to see if there's a physical trigger needed.  If so we might be able to start waking up the girls."

"If so, we need to keep that Giles guy and Buffy from sniping at Xander.  They wanted him to retire and be a normal guy."  Sam nodded once and ate another bite.  "Not the first time from what Dawn told me.  It got to the point where Xander had to laugh and point out she didn't have anyone else.  That was about an hour before the explosion."

"Then we'll handle it.  I'm also working with Faith on what a field manual should look like."

"That'd be handy.  We need to teach the agents and the guy in DC that's going to profile for us if we need it."

"Let's hope we have a few weeks before we need it so I can get things settled then."  He finished his sandwich and went back to his computer search for information while Dean settled in to make sure all their weapons were clean and able to use at a moment's notice.  "I'm emailing Bobby.  When's the apocalypse in LA?"

"May sometime."

"May sometime.  Are we moving to LA?"

"No, Dawn said she can move us somehow."

Sam blinked.  "That takes a lot of magic."  Dean looked at him.  "She's that strong?"  He nodded.  "Good to know."  He typed that into the message but kept it hidden and mostly in code.  "Anything else get discussed?"

"The girls are going to attend public school starting this fall if possible."

"Good.  They can use a bit of normal.  The older ones might even get to crush on people their own age.  Because if the thirteen-year-old pinches me on the butt again I'm going to smack her."

"Faith did it for you earlier."

Sam smiled.  "She was kinda nice."  He went back to his searching after sending that email.

***

Xander was walking around the area outside the fence that night.  He needed to defrag in a more natural setting and calm down without cameras watching him. Things were moving too fast and they were finding a lot of problems that the basic plans he could do weren't covering.  No one was blaming him but they all knew he wasn't meant to run anything.  Be a field general but not an overall general that did paperwork and stuff.  Hell, Tony still had to help him with his reports.  He kept walking, enjoying the cold night air and the quiet crunch of snow under his feet.  He found a small trail and frowned, following it.  The footprints looked familiar but they were animal sized and shaped. He decided to sneak and see if he could figure out what it was.  It had paws.  It wasn't a hunting cat but it was the right size for one.  He found where it was standing and stared.  "He-Man's cat and He- Man next to it," he muttered.  He moved into the open.  "Morning," he said in the most common demon language he knew.

"You're noisy," the man replied in the same language.  The cat stared at him.  "Do not bite him."

Xander moved closer.  "I was out thinking when I ran into her footprints.  Why are you out here?"

"It's a free world still yet," he countered dryly, staring at him.  "You would be?"

"Xander Harris, Slayer's Council."

The man hissed.  "I had hopes that the abominations they created were not the fluxes we felt locally."

Xander snorted.  "That is the DCIS base.  You are?"

"Prorti."

"Meaning forward scout.  Are you here to scout or to figure out what's going on?  Because we will not hurt those who mean others no harm."

"As I have heard."  He turned to look at him. "Your fences are weak.  The girls are all young and untried."

"Not all.  The older ones have combat experience.  The fact that some are young was because of what happened in Sunnydale.  We're working on them.  As for the fences, we're working on them too.  We had things to set up first.  Not like I can pull more witches out of thin air."

The guard laughed.  "True.  You know of the problems coming in the city by the ocean?"

"The one in May?  Yes.  We're preparing now."

"It will not be a good day to die."

"The slayer's first rule is don't die because no day is a good day to die," he countered.

The guard looked at him.  "You are strong.  You need training."

"Shit happens."

The guard laughed louder.  "Indeed.  Usually when you don't want it to after eating at Bulgosi's in the next village."  He held out a hand.  Xander hesitated but shook it. "You're scared of us?"

"I still can't tell if your intentions are peaceful.  Too much is new."

He nodded. "That is reasonable."

Xander looked at the cat then at him.  "We were talking earlier about talking to peaceful clans who could help augment our security patrol.  Are there any nearby?"

"A few of us who aren't a clan.  Nothing too large.  We travel mostly."

"Then we'll ask around the courts in LA.  Should there be problems, come to us.  We will investigate no matter which side, human or demon, started it."

"I will let that be known.  I would worry about that witch.  She seems tired by her wards."

"She's young.  Her teacher is missing.  She does what she can and we help."

"Then I would let her bring them down for a while.  She tied herself into it."  Xander groaned.  He nodded.  "It is sensible."

"Are there those who can help with that?"

"Not locally.  You moved well away from all centers of demonic activity."

"I think that was the point.  To keep our people safe from those who would protest that we solve cases no matter who starts things.  I've heard that there's already demons who dislike it because we would look at them and humans both for causing problems when they happen."

"There's always someone discontent to have the light of justice shined on them," Prorti agreed.  The cat yawned and nudged his hand.  "I know.  We'll go soon."  He looked at him.  "The jail is well done.  Noticeable but well done."

Xander smiled.  "As things go on we'll make it less noticeable.  Right now, we have few prisoners.  As it expands on both sides, we'll deal with that issue.  We're new but we have good people."

The guard nodded.  "Then I'll leave you with a warning, young one.  There are those that still watch over your girls."

"I know they hate me."

"Not at the moment.  They more look on with disfavor at some things that have been wrought."

"The spell had to be done to defeat the First Evil.  She had no idea it'd activate all of them as far as I know.  Just the ones there for the battle.  We deal with the hand we're dealt."

The guard nodded.  "You could also pray for guidance."

"I tried that.  They sent me Anyanka last time to be my girlfriend."  He walked off laughing, the cat following him.  Tim woke up and asked why he was talking to a spirit that was following the demon cat.  "Because messengers are in many forms," he said wisely, sending up a prayer to get him help with the girls so they wouldn't die, wake the other slayers up, and to find Willow so she could fix the spell.  Or maybe help him find a way to fix the spell.  There was no need to have so many slayers and such young ones.  Then he went back to his walk.  He still had to clear his mind and Tim was quiet while he did it at least.

***

In LA two blue skinned individuals looked up then smirked.  "That would be helpful," one agreed, looking at her brother, who nodded.

"Indeed.  Plus worthy of the balance."

"But which way to do it?"

"Waking the older. The uncalling will be found eventually."  He walked off to talk to the Powers for the both of them.  It was a good plea.

***

In another part of LA a box in a basement stirred.  No one was watching it.  No one was sure what was going on.  No one would realize it when the remains inside, the few drops of blood on a shirt worn during a battle earlier, heated up and the magic wove through it.  It'd be hours before anyone realized something had happened.

***

Xander walked into the slayer's hall the next morning, seeing an unfamiliar face.  Then he smirked.  "Long nap?"

She turned, staring at him.  "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I'm in charge of here," he said dryly.  "Because no one else is alive.  The other Watchers that were left were the ones who bombed the building."  She sat down, making horrified, squeaky noises.  "Welcome to reality.  Wes is in Cleveland and we're the last two.  Who do you want to do it?  Is Giles up?"  She shook her head. "Buffy?"

"Six of us woke up earlier," she said weakly.  "We're trying to figure out where we are."

Xander called someone.  "It's Xander.  A few of the girls woke up.  We have five wandering around somewhere.  Bring them to me please?  I'm in the sitting area by the classrooms."  He hung up and hauled her up, pointing.  "Sit on the furniture.  The floors are cold."  He headed off.  "Let me get the other girls up and moving."  He opened the door to the stairway.  "FOOD'S GETTING COLD!"  He got out of the way of the stampede.  "Morning," he called after them, going to wake up the last few who hadn't been down.  He found one of the newly awoken talking with one of the older girls.  "Yes, I'm mean and evil," he said sarcastically.  "That's why I gave you a room to sleep in that has heat.  Go eat, we'll explain it to her and the others in a few."  She nodded, going to get everyone else up and head out.  He looked at the girl, shaking his head.  "Conference in the sitting area.  You can eat in a few."  She nodded, heading that way.  He got down there to find Tony had the other four with him. "Thank you."

"Welcome.  The girls?  They're supposed to have classes this morning."

"By then things should be back to the level of strange."  He nodded, leaving it there.  Xander looked at them.  "Everyone wake up okay?"  They all glared.  "Stop it now.  There's exactly three Watchers left on this planet.  Me, Wes, and Giles.  Wes is in Cleveland with the girl on rotation.  Giles is still apparently asleep.  Who did you want to do it?"

"Buffy said not you," one sneered.

He shrugged.  "Then get off your ass and go run classes later," he shot back.  "Not like you were here to teach the girls that Willow called.  One that's six."  She went pale and shrank back.  "So tough.  Deal with it.   If you want Wes back, Faith and I can give you the number."

"Ease off, X," Faith said as she walked in.  "Yes, I heard Buffy's shit.  She's a stupid bitch about that."  They gaped.  "X is the head of the watchers.  We're now the Slayer's Council.  He's been damn good to the girls.  He's gotten us help, training, fed us, clothed us, made sure we had what we needed.  Set up a rotation of girls who were at least well trained enough to handle things so we weren't stuck in one spot until we died.  B sure couldn't do that.  It's a blind spot she had before.  She thinks that normal people can't do the work.  Well, hate to tell her, but Watchers are normal people.  Yay them.  Wes put X in charge because he didn't want it.  Especially not after the last fifteen watchers went rogue to try to reduce our numbers.  They're the ones that blew up Angel's area in LA.  They're the ones that tried to hit the younger girls X was guarding at that one base.  They tried to burn them in a basement when they were hiding.  Including Dawn and the six-year-old slayer.  So no, you'll show him respect or we'll go round, ladies.  I won't have it and I am the senior slayer."

Xander patted her on the back.  "It'll be fine, Faith.  All they know is what Buffy said and I'm sure she bad-mouthed me when I took the younger girls off to safety."  He looked at them.  "It's breakfast.  We will eat.  After that, we have classes all morning, training in the afternoons.  Starting with self defense with two hunters I chose to help you girls and a few soldiers who are helping here at DCIS who do double duty."  They slumped.  "Yes, this is also Demon Criminal Investigative Services' main base.  Welcome home."  He pointed.  "Let's go eat.  You'll need it.  That'll let you talk to the girls all you want to make sure things aren't hinky.  Then we'll let you join in on lessons.  By the way, it's February.  Nearly Valentine's Day."  That got a few shudders.  "Things have been happening while you've been in comas.  Now, let's go and I do expect all the girls to have manners most of the time."  Faith led them out and he looked up.  "You couldn't wake up the less snotty ones?" he asked quietly.  "I needed another test?"  He walked off to follow, grabbing his usual breakfast on the way to his desk.  What he saw did not amuse him.  "Shit.  A team case."  He called Tony.  "Team case."  He hung up and went back to looking it over.  "Ritual sacrifice.  Virgins.  Human it looks like."  Tony stomped in so he handed over what he had.  "Looks like a human sacrificing but I can't be sure."

Tony looked it over and nodded.  "Okay, it'll be a team case.  Danny's team is up if we need it."

Xander looked at him.  "I'm sorry if the snotty bitches annoy people."

"It happens.  All they knew is that Buffy was down on you because you were normal."  He smiled.  "Want your team to take it instead?"

"Not with new ones waking up."

"You'll have to go sometime."

Xander grimaced.  "Let me have the first real demon case?"

"Sure."  He went to pull the team out of breakfast to let them know they were heading within two hours.  He looked  at the new girls grouped together.  "Xander's team would have went but he felt you girls needed him more for the next few days."  He left, heading back to the office to go over it with Xander and the other team.   Xander really did have a feel for this one.  So he had to do it.  "Xander, go."  Xander stared at him.  "I don't care.  Go.  You're a specialist.  None of us can read the language."  Xander slumped but nodded, going to pack his bag and tell Dean and Wes.  He went to tell Sam at breakfast.  "Bad news.  I'm sending Xander anyway.  It has runes and things in a language we don't get."  Sam opened his mouth so he held up the picture. "Know it?"

"Not a bit," he admitted.  "Looks familiar."   Danny looked then shrugged.  "Then he's going?"

"He's got to.  We've got ten deaths already."  That got a nod.  "So you're in charge of the girls for him today."  That got a nod.  "Switch off and I'll help where I can."  He left, going to make sure Xander knew it'd be okay but Dawn was cheering him up so he left it alone and handed back the picture.  They'd handle it.  The team left once they were packed, taking a van to the airstrip their plane was at.  Tony went back to breakfast, looking at the girls again.  Then at the clock then back at the girls.  "Classes?"  They groaned.  "Just because he's on a case doesn't mean things change.  Xander put Dean and Sam in charge.  I'm their backup until Wes gets back here or someone else with authority does.  Got it?"  They nodded, all but the new ones.  "Good.  Keep the schedule and we'll let you cook dinner."  They cheered and finished up, dragging the new girls to classes.

"I'll be in for ESL lessons in about an hour," Danny called.  "Let me make some calls to let people know they're coming."  Those girls nodded and smiled at him.  He looked at Tony.   "He'd have to go sometime."

"He's handled a few overnight things.   A banishing, those sort of problems.  This could be weeks."

"We'll deal," Danny reminded him.  "We always do.  That's why we're strong."  He finished up and went to call the people who had sent them the case to make sure they knew they were coming.

Tony went to handle his own mailed-in case.  It wasn't very pretty but they could tell what it was pulling the person apart by the photos and looking it up was easy enough.

***

Dawn finally had enough and rounded on one of the girls, knocking her down to beat her ass for her rude comments.  The younger ones tried to pull her off but Dawn was Xander's protege.  The slayer was finally bloody.  So she sneered as she got up.  "If me, a normal person, can do that to you, a slayer, then you don't deserve your calling.  There's been normal people hunting for generations, just like Dean and Sam.   Hell, Cordette could beat you and she's only six.  So get off your high horse and get a fucking clue, bitch, before I carve it into your chest so you can always remember it.  Now, outside and do PT out there."  She moaned.  "Now!" she snapped.  The other girls moved Dawn back so Ryan could get to the girl.  "She's sorry she's pitiful but if I could take her down and I'm not a slayer, that kinda proves my sister was stupid.  I may love Buffy but the peroxide did bad things to her brain now and then."

"Dawn, office," Ryan ordered with a point.  "Get Dean or Sam, meet me there."  She huffed off.  "Let's get you to the infirmary," Ryan said, helping her up and walking her out.  "The rest of you, relax, calm down, don't mimic that."  He let the rushing nurse take her.  "She snapped around Dawn and Dawn beat her," he explained.

"Xander is normal!"

"So's Dawn," he said with a shrug.  "So?  So are all the agents here and we'll have to deal with the same demons you will.  So are all the watchers that were ever born.  The only difference is training.  Dawn's still in training and so are you.  You may have been born with a gift, but I'm pretty sure she proved her point by beating you if her point was normal people are just as good as slayers.  Get her cleaned up?  I sent Dawn to Danny's office."  The nurse nodded, taking her to do that while he headed back to watch over the class.   The other girls were ignoring the remaining five.  He looked at them, then nodded them outside.  "Why did Buffy think a normal person couldn't do the job?"

"Because he's normal," one said.

"So are watchers."  She frowned.  He nodded.  "They're trained and Xander's only partially trained because as far as we can tell no one wanted to.  Xander has nearly lost his life for you girls more than once.  He saved the younger ones by nearly dying when the watchers came for them.  He set things up so you'd be comfortable here instead of elsewhere.  He's not sleeping because he's dealing with crap in England over the original council.  Just because he's not trained doesn't make him unable to do things.  It means that people need to finish his training."

One slumped.  "Buffy said she didn't want him there.  Said it wasn't good for any of them to have him."

He snorted.  "And where would you be if he hadn't?  Beyond dead."  She flinched.  "I'll repeat this.  Xander nearly lost his life a few times protecting you girls.  He's done a lot to make sure you girls are safe, fed, and in training so you can protect yourself.  Including going against orders to train Dawn when she needed it and the youngest slayers when Willow's spell backfired and got them.  The same as he's been working for months now trying to find a way to get you uncalled.  That way we don't have thirty slayers in the world to tempt things."  Faith came storming out.  "That one okay?"

"Busted nose, bruised ribs, broken wrist.  We heal."  She glared at the girls.  They all slunk down.  "I am so damn ashamed to be one of you.  Office, now!" she said with a point.  They hiked that way.  "You tried."

"Buffy's problem was that he was normal and partially trained?"  She nodded. "Then why didn't anyone train him?"

"Because that would make him equal and they've always seen him a bit lesser because he's not special and a guy."  She walked off, going to chew her girls a new one then she'd call Wes to let him help since he was the last *real* watcher they had.  His rant would go on for two hours.  By the end the girls were all very sorry.  They were also going to slink back to training because they clearly needed it if Dawn could beat a nearly aged-out slayer who had been training for years.

***

Tony got the call from Seattle, frowning at the static.  "What's wrong, John?  You're staticky."  He repeated it and Tony moaned.  "Need us to meet you?"  He nodded.  "We can do that.  How soon?"  He made a note.  "We get it or do you need more support?"  He slumped.  "Good.  We'll meet you there.  Be ready.  How many other causalities?"  He nodded and wrote that down.  "I'll let them know.  Be safe."  He hung up and went jogging down to the infirmary.  "Two major injuries coming in from the team on a case," he said as he walked in. They started to gather things.  "They'll be landing in an hour.  It was a mini ascension."  One of the slayers working in there stopped to stare at him, nearly crying by her face.  "Xander's got a head injury and what looks like broken ribs.  No punctured lung thankfully.  Maybe internal injuries.  The team leader has a definite head injury and was a victim, nearly eaten.  They field dressed the injuries but they couldn't be sure of poisons or not.  They're airlifting them to us right now.  The rest are banged up and will be landing in an hour.  The airlifted two are coming directly here to the courtyard."  They went to get supplies up there.  He looked at the slayer. "Get me Sam to join us.  Brief him."  She went running.  He went to warn Danny, who had heard somehow.  "They'll be fine."

"We hope."

"No, they'll be fine," Tony assured him.  "We can make sure of it."  He saw Sam go running out with a reference book for the healers. He was explaining something, making one of the docs nod.  She took the book to read it over, then handed it on and shouted an order to get something ready.  "Anti-venom?"

"No," Danny said.  "Solvent.  Something to clean."  They shared a look and Danny went to help in the infirmary for right now.  He was so glad someone knew enough to stock them up.  He started some surgical gear in the sterilizer too, getting a nod from a nurse.  "Anyone else getting ready to wake up?"

"Not that we can tell.  Buffy's heart rate raised at the same time but she stayed down."

"Good.  I don't think we need that stress right now."  He heard the helicopter and got out of the way.  "I'll go help the ones coming in on the plane."  He got handed a medical kit and headed out.  "I did learn some from Janet," he said at the odd looks he got.  "We had to patch ourselves up in the field plenty of times."  They went to meet the plane so they could see how bad things were.  A broken bone, splinted.  A lot of cuts and scrapes.  "Did we get it?" he asked one.  Who nodded.  "How?"

"Xander figured out what it was late last night and had Messer call the local ATF office to get us something.  They refused so he and Xander went black market and bought something then used it on the creature.  Thank God."  He let the nurse help him up and down the stairs then into the van.  "Xander okay?"

"He's fine.  Merps is worse," Danny assured him.  He got the last one down and then looked at the plane.  He cleaned up and gathered things, calling Tony to make sure he knew he was still there.  Tony came to pick him up and let him destress for a few minutes on the way back with their gear.  "I hoped this was going to be an easier job."

"It is.  If one of us is possessed we can usually get rid of it.  We only have a few planes after us, not whole races of aliens.  Plus you said to remind you it was easier since Jack wasn't in charge."

Danny smiled at him.  "All great points, Tony.  Thank you."

"Could've been worse.  Could've been deaths."

"I know."  They parked and got out, heading down to check on people.   "Clear the hall!" he shouted when he ran into them.  "Now!  Unless you're giving blood!"  They went back to work.  They'd be listening later on and visit then.  He leaned in.  "Do we need anything we don't have?"

"Not yet," one said.  "There's something in the wound tracts.  We're not sure what."   Sam came in and poured the warm solution he had been mixing into one, making it fizz.  "What is that?"

"Holy water and something to cut the sodium in the saliva."  She nodded, taking it to dose the other injuries.  He moved to Xander's side to look at him.  "You look rough."

"It dead?" Xander rasped.

"It's dead," Sam agreed.  "You got it."  Xander moaned and passed out.  "He's out," Sam called.  They came to check on him but left him alone for now.  Not much they could do for broken ribs and a concussion but give pain killers.

Danny backed out. "Their stuff is in Tony's trunk."  That got a nod and he went to debrief the team.  "I know you all ache.  Let's get a preliminary then you can work on it tomorrow."  He saw Dawn go running past.  "Dawn, let them work!"

"I'm going to!" she shouted back.

He shook his head.  "She's worried.  What happened that turned this FUBAR?"

One guy snorted.  "From the get go.  Harris was right.  The symbols were a sexual ritual.  He had to eat so many virgin's blood to change.  Harris figured it out last night, Danny. We got the last one saved and he realized what it was when our perp was missing.  ATF didn't want to cooperate.  I have no idea where they found something."

Danny Messer groaned but moved his broken ankle.  "He found a seedy bar and walked inside, said something with me watching to make sure no one attacked us.  The bartender called two people and a contact came to see Xander.  I know he used slayer funds for it."

"We can pay him back.  He bought a...."

"Some sort of grenade or RPG system," Danny admitted.  "We have the empty somewhere.  Tape too.  One of the guys had an incident recorder in case it went south.  Xander's orders.  Said this was rare as fuck but oh well."

"That is how he put it," that guy said, waving a hand.  "I downloaded it to my laptop on the flight back."

"It's in Tony's trunk then."  That got a few nods.  "Did we leave the locals to clean it up?"

"It attacked before Xander could get a shot.  The thing had a stuck pop-up part," Danny said.  "That's how we all got injured.  Xander got off a pretty shot down its throat to get Merps free.  I never wanna see another fifty-foot snake again."

Faith walked in with the gear, dropping it next to the desk.  "Only fifty?  The one at their graduation was like ninety.  Tweedy down in the infirmary said there were a few ways to ascend, mostly took years.  The mayor took over a century because he wanted to be huge."

"Can we check shipments and things to see if there's others doing it?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, don't know what they need for real though.  Book somewhere in the library if G packed it."  She shrugged.  "Xander said to evacuate the books, just in case."

"Xander said to move the girls from LA just in case," one of the girls said from the doorway.

"This time it was a recording just in case," Danny said.  "Is Xander psychic?"

"Debatable," Faith said.  "As in no one's sure but he's not getting real visions.  They hurt like a bitch.  Killed a few seers."  She left, going to check on Xander and Dawn, who was crying on him.  "How many times did he nearly break gravestones with his head, D?" she asked bluntly.

"Too many."  She looked at her.  "So?"

"He's too damn tough to let a fifty-foot tequila worm get him.  Okay?"  She nodded.  "Good, then let the poor guy breathe.  I heard he had broken ribs and those suck money ass."  She removed her from Xander's chest.  "Go help with the debriefing or calm the girls down."  She nodded, wiping off her face as she did that.  "Is he supposed to be gray and white?" she asked once Dawn was gone.

They came to check, finding him either out of his body or nearly dead.  They put what they needed to into effect and monitored.  All they could do.  Faith was praying for out of his body.  She couldn't lose him.  He was the only stability a lot of them had.

***

Xander woke up and blinked at the ceiling.  Then at the man beside him.  "So that's what you look like."   Tim nodded.  "Dead too?"

"Not yet.  Kinda in limbo."  He helped the younger man sit up.  "You okay enough?"

"Head's throbbing."

"That's because the Powers are coming."

"Should I bow?"

"No.  They'll think you're faking."  Xander nodded, crossing his legs so he could lean on his knees and hold his aching head.

A voice came down.  "Mr. Harris."

"I'm not the sperm donor, use my actual name," Xander said dryly, looking at the glowing ball of energy.

"Fine, Alexander.  We need you to do two things."

"Depends.  What?"

"Live."

"Planned on that.  Someone has to get Dawn into college.  Make her mother proud.  And?"

"Not be in charge."

"Then wake Giles up."

"Excuse me?" the voice said.

"If you don't want me in charge of the girls, wake Giles up," he said in his most cold voice. "I'm not the one who let the bastards try to take out little girls who didn't have the choice of saying yes to Willow's spell.  They were chosen, not consented, and one's now seven.  If you don't want me in charge, manifest some watchers with some sense that won't hurt the girls.  Wake Giles up.  Whatever.  Until you do, there's no one else."

"There is a chance that Giles could get you for using their money."

"To help the girls?  That's what it was planned for and Wes set it up.  Again, you want him to deal with it, wake his ass up.  Or bring him here."

"That we can do.  We did try."

"Hmm.  Guess there's a higher power than the Powers?" he asked dryly.

"Xander," Tim warned.

Xander glared at him.  "Butt out."

"Fine."  He stepped back.  "Staying out of it.  Just try to stay calm?  Maybe?"

Xander snorted.  "I don't need this.  I had to stop another ascension, Tim.  Or don't you remember why we're nearly dead at the moment?"

"Another one?" a genteel British voice asked.  "Why?"

Xander turned to look at him.  "Because one came up in Seattle and DCIS needed my help.  That's part of my job, that and helping the girls."

"I thought we agreed...."

Xander held up a hand.  "Stop there, Giles.  Do you know why you're in a coma?"

"No."

"The other watchers.  They decided on a power play.  They blew up the building in LA with all you in it and magically put all of you, including Angel, into a  coma.  Willow is missing.  No one's sure where.  Buffy's down with you."  Giles winced at that.  "That left me, Wes, and Gunter.  Gunter died going out to find the other girls.  Wes is in Cleveland dealing with the slayer on duty on the hellmouth.  Wes put me in charge because he doesn't have the energy to.  Cleveland's a major city."  He stood up and looked at his former mentor.  "Who did you want to do it, Giles?"

"The people who came to get the girls?"

"We're sheltering under them.  The ascension was part of a team case I went on earlier with them."

"Oh, I see."

"We're living on their base.  Training with their people, but for two hunters I hired, and doing a damn good job so far.  Even though Willow's spell took the choice from a bunch of little kids.  I've got six now who're under ten."  Giles stepped back at that, looking horrified.  "Fully called slayers, Giles.  With no way to uncall them.  Plus the other twenty some-odd girls to train.  If you think you can do better than I have, wake up.  I've busted my ass working with those girls.  I've given up having a life to help those girls."

"It's not your job."

Xander punched him, rubbing his knuckles.  "Well, since the rest are dead, someone had to step in and at least you got me partially trained.  I repeat, who did you want to step in, Giles?  The military so they can make another Initiative like situation?"  He moaned.  "I'm it.  Get off your high horse. You're just as normal as I am only you had more training."

"The standards to become a full watcher are very strict, Xander.  You do not meet up with them."

"Why would I?  I might hurt the girls if I did."  He snorted and walked back to his bed.  "I don't give a damn.  You want it done your way, wake up.  Until then, it's me and Wes.  Wes was a watcher, he said to do it this way.  We've put out notices in all the watchery places if any were left to contact us.  None have.  Since you guys went into a coma, who do you want to do it?"

"Dawn does show the proper leanings."

"Dawn's sixteen.  By law she can't run anything.  Though I am training her to do the work."

He shook his head.  "How would you?  You don't know what you're doing.  There's traditions."

"That got you all killed.  Yes, I remember.  Fine traditions like trying to kill the girl if she makes it to eighteen."  Giles flinched at that.  "The new traditions are pretty damn good and we're doing mostly fine, Giles.  Stay asleep."  He faded out.  He looked at the glowing ball of voice.  "As for you.  You don't like how I'm helping the girls to stay alive, make more watchers.  Not like *you're* going to handle the apocalypses *you* call into being.  We have to and we do what we can.  That's why we're human.  Any other advice you want to give?"

"You don't have to be angry."

Xander snorted.  "I don't have to be angry but it was you who set this into motion.  Not me.  Pat yourselves on the back, Powers.  You made it happen and now you gotta live with it like we do."  He closed his eyes and rubbed his head.  "Unless you have a way to uncall the girls?  I think I want to wake up now."

"It's not necessary."

Xander snickered.  "Uh-huh."  He looked at Tim.  "Does he really look like that?"  The figure nodded and morphed.  "Cool.  Now I know."  He reached inside himself and flicked the switch he had put in to help him when he was possessed.  It flicked him back into control of his mind, making him groan and try to grab his head.  "Fucking Powers," he muttered, falling back asleep.  This time a normal, healthy sleep.  Even the Powers couldn't make concussions heal faster after all.

The nurse on duty made note of that and passed it onto Danny and Tony.  Just in case it was important.

Dawn, who was with her sister, smirked at that information then went back to doing her sister's hair.  "You know, you really did screw the pooch, Buffy.  Tossing over Xander is the worst mistake you ever made.  If you had any idea what you had done, I'm sure you'd actually apologize to him for once.  It'd be nice.  Definitely different."  She finished up and tucked her back in.  "There you go.  Ready for another week of napping."  She put things up and left, going to check on Xander.  She gave him a hug, getting a small growl.  "No, you let me protect you," she said in his ear.  "I've got you, Xander.  You'll be safe even from them."  She walked off, going to find things in her room.  She knew what she needed.  It had been in Willow's things.  She'd be doing something that they'd hate, but oh well.  She went up to her room and grabbed a few things, plus her coat and boots, then headed out.  Sam caught her.

He coughed. "You're going where in the middle of the night?"

"I'm going to take a walk in the woods to clear my head," she told him.

"With a backpack full of stuff?" he asked with a small grin.  "Tell me what you're doing and we may help, Dawn.  We like Xander too."

She turned, then pulled him into a room and muted the camera in there.  "The Powers are screwing with him.  I'm tired of it."

"They're pretty powerful."

"And I'm the Key."  Sam stared, mouth slightly open.  "I know very well what they wanted.  There was no way for those watchers to track us.  I made sure of it magically.  So they had to have help.  Getting Xander's plane with the other girls to land.  An explosion that only took the witch that could stop them.  Tracking us when I had us muted from normal sight.  You tell me what's going on with the things that only care about balance?"

He closed his mouth but nodded.  "I can see what you're getting.  What are you planning on?"  She gave him a 'get real look' and snort.  "I can help if you let me, Dawn.  It's every person's right to stand up to whatever God they believe in when they think he's doing bad things.  That's why we fight for the good side."  She pulled out the diary to show him.  He read it, frowning.  "This won't work."

"It will."

He looked at her.  "It won't.  Pulling you out of your body is not only dangerous but locks you away from your magic, Dawn."  She groaned and sat on the table in there.  "There's a better idea."  He handed it back and walked with her to the library, where he had been working.  He found a book in the back section, forbidden to nearly everyone without permission because of the harmful nature of the secrets it contained.  "Here."  He let her see it and she smiled, sitting down to find the part she needed.  She finally found it and read it over, then went to get the thing she didn't have and walked out, heading out into the woods.  Sam grabbed his stuff and followed to guard her, Dean giving him and odd look.  "Dawn's going to make a guided plea for help to the Powers."

"Her sister?"

"Xander.  They're fucking with him."  He left, following her trail into the woods.  He'd have to teach her how to mask it later on.  If they survived this.  She gave him an odd look.  "Not leaving you out here alone.  My dad would kick my ass if I let a girl do this on her own when I could help."

"Your dad think all girls are weak?"

"No, but men should help women when they need it and you'll need an anchor."

"Which has to be a psychic tether."

"I'm a seer, Dawn."

"Oh.  Didn't know that."  He smirked.  She smirked back.  "That'll work."  She found a flat rock and set things up on top of it and a blanket she laid out to work on.  It'd keep them from getting so chilled while they sat on the rock and she had sewn patterns onto it long ago under Tara's watchful gaze so she could do work outside.  "Tara would be screaming," she sighed.

"If Tara was a good witch, she might but she might understand," Sam told her.

She looked at him.  "She was.  She was Willow's light."  She lit the candle and took his hand, getting ready to do the spell.  This was hard.  It'd open her fully to the key's powers.  She was nervous but he'd stop her if she turned into a monster.

"Fears are not your enemy, harness it and use it," he said quietly.  "Like you would in a fight."  She nodded, centering herself better then getting on with it.

***

Xander woke screaming an hour later.  "Stop her!" he demanded, batting at the nurse.  "Dawn, stop Dawn now!"

Danny called her phone.  No answer.  He called Dean's phone.  "Xander woke up screaming to stop Dawn.  Where is she?  No answer on her phone and she's always got it, Dean.  Where is she?"  He grimaced.  "Uh-huh.  And Sam is where?"  He nodded.  "Thank you."  He looked at the guard in the doorway.  "Where in the woods are they?"

"That picnic rock about half a mile away.  I had Milo tracking them."

"I want a sit rep.  Dawn's doing something."

"Dawn's doing shit that's going to get her ass beat," Xander said, batting at the nurse again.  He got out of the bed, holding his ribs and hissing the whole way.  "We're going," he told the guard.  "Get me shoes."  He went to do that.  "Sorry, Danny, this is Family."  He walked out, taking his coat and shoes from Tony's hand.  "Be back in the morning, after I beat their asses."  He put them on slowly but he managed it.  Then he stomped off.  One of the guys gave him a ride on the four wheeler.  Dawn and Sam were so far down they didn't know they were there.  He walked up to the rock, staring at them then he leaned down to blow out the candle, waking Sam.  "We're going to have words once I don't have broken ribs."

"She's trying to protect the girls."

"By exposing herself?  She could die."

"She won't die and she found some people there who could help.  Including help train her."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Tara showed up.  She said to tell you.  She showed her the ones."

Xander sat down, looking at him.  "Still putting her in danger.  And us."

"No.  Not now."  He looked at Dawn and nudged her, making her wake up.  "Worried big brother."

She looked at him.  "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I'm going to beat your ass like your mother would."

"Mommy might," she agreed.  "But she'd let me explain." He pulled her over and spanked her until she cried.  Then he let her go and stared at her.  "Fine!  They're doing evil to get their balance and their balance isn't balance.  You can't have true balance while there's people with free will.  Since this isn't the Matrix, we all have free will."  He groaned.  "I went to point that out.  By the way, there are teachers.  They do fight.  They're pissed too.  But Tara was pissed and proud.  Mom too."

"Um-huh."

A ghost appeared and she looked at Dawn.  "No, she's pissed and proud," Tara assured him.  She looked at Xander.  "They won't come after her.  She's taken a voluntary guiding hand so they won't come after her, Xander.  I promise it won't make her a target like Buffy was."

He stared at her.  "Prove you're Tara."

"Ghosts can't lie."

He snorted.  Sam did too.  "And I'm my own grandfather," Xander said dryly.  "Yes they can.  Especially when sent as messengers.  Prove it or move."

She sighed then leaned down to touch his head, wincing when she did.  "You're too injured for this."

Xander snickered.  "If you were a real ghost, I'd have sucked you in, dear."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Because I'm still a medium."  He looked at the setup and did something.  "Sam, move."

"No."

"Anchor's outside the markings, Sam.  Protect her and only her."  He gave him a look. "Understood?"  He nodded and Xander moved to take over, then he looked at Dawn.  "Trust me?"  She nodded.  "Then let's go dance."  They both faded as the magic took over.  He knew what he was doing and she came with him.  What they didn't count on was that he wasn't normal.  He hadn't been normal.  He looked normal.  He seemed normal.  But he was part mermaid.  He was part hyena.  He had been a soldier for quite a while now.  Not to mention how combat and death had changed him.  He appeared on the plane in armor.  Gray, dull, normal looking armor.  Dawn beside him.  He looked down then around, grabbing something that changed into a hand.  He snickered and it changed into a sword.  He handed it to her.  She blessed it.  He got his own and the battle was on when the supposed 'light' came at them.  Pity they never watched him either.  They were about to fall when the battle stopped and someone stepped forward.

"Who are you to fight these minions?" she asked.

"Someone who wasn't watched closely enough if they think I'm going to give up and let them harm girls who had no choice but to be called to a life of death as mere babies.  If the Powers and the demons wanted a six-year-old slayer, then they should have done it on someone else's watch."

She stared at him.  "That wasn't our doing."

"No but you kept it going and then you sent people to kill her and the others."

"They can draw worse things."

"Then give us a way to undo what Rosenburg did until it's their time," Dawn said. "I pointed that out earlier.  He pointed that out earlier.  No one seems to listen.  They should since he's doing their work for them.  The same as I will be one day."

"He was not called."

Xander stabbed her.  "No, but I was there and it became my duty."  She died and he sneered at her body.  "Not all that fight are real warriors but we're all fighters."  He looked at the demon that appeared.  "Morning."

"Where your body is."

"Yeah, well, it's a standard american greeting of pleasantness.  Feel lucky I didn't flip you off."

"No, you're right.  They screwed themselves.  This isn't the right way to point that out though."

Xander stared at him.  "Advice from the dark we fight.  I'm amused."

"So are they.  I'm trying to atone a bit.  I was evil."

Xander shrugged.  "Why would I care unless you're on my caseload?"

"Good point."  He grinned.  He could like this one very easily.  "Very good point, Xander."  He stepped closer and Dawn moved into a defensive position.  "She needs more work."

"Buffy thought she'd be protected by her."

"Hmm.  The arrogance of power.  She has that problem too."

"That's why I spanked her."

"Which was probably good for her."  The demon smiled.  "They want a meeting."

"We're here."

"They're not."

"We traveled halfway.  That's arrogance to expect us to show up at their meeting."

"True."  He looked over as the Oracles appeared.  "Well, mouthpieces."

Xander looked at one.  "Didn't you screw up Angel's life and kill Cordelia?"  One backed away from him.  "Hmm.  You know, I didn't want to go missing my bitch just then.  I should be pissed.  At least she had *some* choice in the matter."

"Not really," the demon admitted.

"No, she had some.  Not a lot but a bit.  There's ways of passing visions on if you're desperate enough."

"That was a ploy of my side," the demon said.

Xander shrugged.  "If you're desperate, who cares?"

"She made her choice by keeping it," he agreed.  "Good point.  You can reason.  You do realize how stupid and arrogant this is?"

Xander smirked.  "Yeah, and?  You know, if they had been paying a bit of attention, this wouldn't have happened.  They would've seen Willow and me jumping in.  They would've seen Willow going bad.  They would've seen Willow pulling Buffy out of heaven and starting the First Evil crap that made Willow activate all the slayers, no matter how young.  By the way, are there older ones?  We've been debating."

"No, after the age of twenty-three none may be called by the spell.  They decided a younger one could be sacrificed to give the line power but an older one was a problem."

Xander nodded.  "Figures.  Thankfully I saved her."  He looked at the Oracles.  "Well?  You can join our conversation."

"We did not pay attention because you are not worth anything to us."

"And yet, he's the one that created the two slayer situation and warped the prophecy of the Harvest.  He's the one that won the battle at graduation for your pawn, the slayer.  He's the one that kept the hellmouth safe while she was gone.  He's the one who took over when she was ill.  Yet he's not worth it?  We thought he was.  We all love watching him and his dating history."  He looked at Xander.  "Ever consider men?"

"Yes.  Having a demon tell me to be gay isn't helping me go there though."

"Well, consider it harder.  Really."  He smirked.  "There's fewer evil men than women on our side."

"Yeah but the evil ones are pretty and generally want sex more."

The demon laughed.  "All too true."  A female in all white appeared beside him.  "We're having a nice discussion with these two white siders."

"Then why are there demons dead around their feet?"

"'Cause they helped piss us off," Xander said with a bright grin.  "Next time, don't kill kids by letting an ascension happen."

The demon shrugged. "Not my department.  But you did good blowing that one to hell."

Xander smiled.  "Thank you."

The new lady in white shook her head quickly.  "Okay, what's going on?"

The demon pointed.  "That is Xander Harris.  The one who backed up the slayer and that the Powers think are worthless.  The Powers sent people to rebalance the world by taking out all the slayers that had been called."  She winced at that.  "We stepped in to put the ones they tried to blow up into a coma and he protected the rest with that Miss Summer's help.  By the way, your missing sister will be her protector and teacher."

"She's going to be possessed?" Xander asked.

"For the next six years."

"Cool.  We'll match," he told Dawn with a grin.

"Maybe.  Though yours is a CSI and mine's not."  She shrugged.  "It's helpful.  She's screaming a lot at me right now."  She turned and stabbed the demon behind her, making her scream and change back to her normal form.  "Stupid bitch.  They made me a slayer's sister.  Of course I can feel demons!  It's the first spell I did!"

The witch frowned.  "Why would they do that?"

"She's the Key, dear," the demon said with a smile.  "They gave her to Buffy to protect her."

"Should've just given me to Xander to protect me," Dawn said dryly.  "He does.  He even taught me self defense when my sister said it was unnecessary."

"Having you here would tip the balance," the female Oracle told her.

She snorted.  "Not having me here means humanity ends so you get your precious balance. I'm not stupid.  The only true balance is like the only true pure good.  Without people present.  Hell, even Buffy figured that out."

"More manners," Xander ordered.

"You swear," she pouted.

He looked at her. "I was raised by bastards.  Your mother wasn't."

"Yes, Xander.  I'm sorry for my language.  He's right, my mother would be appalled and finding a belt."  Sam appeared beside her.  "Hey."  She smiled and handed him the sword but looked around him at the girl who appeared.  Then at the other witch.  "Cute.  Sisters."  She looked at Sam.  "Having a talk."

"That's fine.  Dean took over.  He's a bit pissed at both of you."

"Shit happens," Xander agreed.  "Oh, I said that to a guardian demon and he warned me about a restaurant in the next town.  Said it often happens after you eat there."

"We'll make sure we don't," Sam said with a small smile but a head shake.

The first witch shook her head.  "You guys are strange."

"It's combat since I was sixteen and now I'm in charge of all the slayers that Willow activated because the Powers turned the rest of the Watchers bad and are keeping Giles in a coma.  You try dealing with twenty-six teenage girls and Faith."

She shuddered.  "No thank you."  She looked at the Oracles.  "Well?  Got a point here too?"

"You are not under our control."

"No but we sure agree with them," she smarted back.  Her sister appeared with her husband.  "Leo, we like Xander and Dawn, right?"

"Yeah, we like them a lot and we're really not at fault, Sam."

He waved a hand.  "Demons do those things to get power.  We'll kill it for killing Jess and my mom and then we'll kill the rest we can before we retire since it made us so good for the other side."

He nodded. "Thank you."

The demon nodded. "That seems to be a problem both sides have.  Xander and Dawn are treading on my side right now because the Powers made them."

"Better evil than a pawn," Dawn told him.  "And we can still go make sure those girls are good and trained."

He nodded. "I agree.  Who's training you?"

"The Devon coven and now their sister."

The three sisters laughed.  "Fat chance," they said together.

"We're in North Dakota and I'm her guardian," Xander told them.  "Her mother was killed, we're not sure if the Initiative or a demon had a hand in it since it was a pretty sudden brain tumor."  The demon nodded.  "Buffy's in a coma thanks to the Powers.  That's another situation where I'm the only one.  They were the only witches we knew about who could handle her strength and all that."

The sisters looked at each other.  "This summer, she's ours," the oldest one said.   "We can teach her what she needs to know to defend herself and to help DCIS."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you.  Until then can you email her and that stuff?"

"Sure.  That'll help.  What's she working on?"

"Wards."

"We can come help with that," the middle sister next to the demon assured him.  "That's a nice thing since you're handling some of our caseload."

"They have the slayers there," the demon told her.

"Even more reason," she agreed.  "Why are you here?  The last time I knew, you were dead."

"A bit of atonement.  They decided I could keep Xander from killing the Powers and you three if he lost it for real or handle it if Dawn broke out."

"Ah," the oldest sister said, coming over to look at Dawn.  She laid a hand on her forehead, hearing her sister complaining. "She's going to get you into trouble.  She's a bit wild."

"Xander said I can finally date this year."

The sister smiled.  "That's a good age for it.  Don't go too wild and try all the boys."  She checked her again then winced.  The demon laughed.  "Hush."  She looked at her.  "We'll be guiding you."

"We've been looking for someone we could trust to guide and train her," Xander promised.  "Because I'm not sure Willow could even if she was around."

"She's ...somewhere," the demon admitted.  "We're not even sure where.  She's not dead.  She's not kidnaped.  She's somewhere."  He shrugged.  "Sorry."

Xander shrugged back.  "It happens.  She'll show up when she's ready.  Can I get a hint of what realm they're opening for the apocalypse in LA?"

The demon laughed.  "There's only three they could.  Don't you have that book?"

"It was probably in England when the building got blown up," Xander told him.

Sam frowned.  "I was doing some looking.  The library center was in a separate building, Xander.  They didn't get the underground tunnels either."  Xander hugged him.  "Thanks.  We'll help where we can."

"Thank you, Sam.  Danny might be pissed since it'd overflow the library."

"We have room," Dawn assured him.  "Even if I have to make a sub realm or something."  She looked at the Oracles.  "Are you done yet?  Because I've gotta say, this outfit itches."  She changed it with a snap of her fingers.  "Better."

Xander looked then shook his head.  "No it's not.  You look like your sister on one of her patented ho patrols.  Change it again, Dawn."  She sighed but changed it again. "Thank you!"  He looked at the Oracles.  "Still think I'm worthless?"  They nodded.  "Pity."  He looked at something then patted it and grinned.  "I'd run," he told the demon.  They all vanished and so did he, Dawn, and Sam.  Sam gasped awake first, nudging Dawn then Xander.  They both woke up.  Xander grinned.  "You make a good psychic friend, Sam."  He stood up with a moan, holding his ribs.  "Anyone have any coffee?"

The witch from the plane appeared.  "Um, Xander.  Quite a mess."

He looked at her.  "Then don't let them fuck with me.  I'm tired of being fucked with and I have broken ribs and a concussion.  I was being nice."

She nodded.  "I'll let the Elders know.  You're getting trained?"  He shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Why do I want to turn into the next Willow when they get their revenge?"

She frowned.  "That's a good point.  Well, minor teaching?  Just shields or something?  Because even I can feel you pulling spirits in.  Here," she said, moving closer.  Someone pointed a gun at her.  "Junior, I will make you eat that."

"She's a good witch and my future trainer; she showed up to help us," Dawn said.  They lowered their weapons.  "I've been trying but I can't impose one and he can't bring up a real mental shield."

"Too many concussions," Xander told her.  "Like boxers getting memory loss and stuff.  Patrolling wasn't my first one."

She looked then nodded. "Not exactly.  You're not the same sort of magic.  She's got earth magic and you have what looks like some void magic actually."  She helped him put one up and he sighed in pleasure.  She smiled back.  "Better?"

"Much.  Can we give Tim his own body?"  Dawn sneezed and a twinkling started.  "Dawn!"

"Accident!  But hey, wish granted."  She ducked behind Sam's back for cover.

He looked back at her.  "They'll go through me."

The witch looked then at her.  "Nice job.  You're so coming for dinner tonight."

"Yes, ma'am," she sighed.

"Good.  Can we take her now?"

"Take Tim too?" he asked with a grin.

"For a few."  She took them both back with her.  That way they could yell in peace and without people wondering and trying to harm them for it.

Xander nearly fell down to his knees as the pain came back.  "Ow."

Sam helped him onto the four wheeler.  "Broken ribs suck," he agreed.  "Let me clean up her mess."  He did that, packing it away carefully.  Then he got onto the last one.  He was sure someone wanted a report.  Xander was going back to the infirmary since Dean was dragging him.  He looked at Danny.  "Want me?"

"For starters.  Dawn?"

"With her new teachers."

Danny smirked.  "Boot camp?"

"Probably spanking.  She's also got a guardian spirit attached to her to guide her until they can get her for real this summer.  Oh, and good news, Tim has his own body since she sneezed."

Danny squeezed his eyes shut for a second then opened them to look at him.  "She sneezed, which resulted in the exorcism of the spirit in Xander, and gave him his own body?"

"Yeah but her teacher showed Xander how to put up a shield so it shouldn't happen again."

"Good!  My office, Sam."  He nodded, heading that way.  Danny looked up.  "I'm not sure if Jack was better or worse now.  I'll have to apologize to him later for thinking this was going to be a less insane posting.  I was clearly stupid."  He walked inside, going to get a report.  It had been a long night and half the day.  It was probably going to be longer too.

***

Danny filed the report and answered the phone.  "Jack, is it an invasion?"  He smiled at the heated complaints.  "No, I'm overtop of something even stranger than our team.  Though I have found your long lost, younger, psychic, twin brother.  Who does bounce when he's eaten too much chocolate.  Xander, no more chocolate," he yelled at the young man bouncing past the doorway.

"I haven't had any in hours," he complained back.  He leaned in.  "Mary, the eight-year- old, wanted to learn how to bunny hop for this spring play thing the girls are doing.  So I'm teaching her and this is the only hallway without cameras to record me doing it."  He shut the office door and went back to it.

Danny moaned, putting Jack on speaker.  "I deal with insane people."

"I don't bounce."

"You do now and then, Jack.  Like a kid on Christmas morning."

"I do not!"

"You do.  Why the call?  Is it an invasion?"

"No.  Are you having one since I heard a rumor that you've got one coming up?  Speaking of which, where the hell are you, Danny?"

"Well, yeah, but it's next month sometime and it's in LA.  Probably downtown LA.  I'll be stopping news crews in a few weeks.  We might need the National Guard but not the troops there.  Just make sure the stargate doesn't back out into a portal.  Tell whoever that I said it might when the crap hits the fan in LA.  Abby thinks it could switch and carry over to other portals."

"Who's Abby?"

"My very goth head of RD and the lab.  From NCIS."

"Heard of her," he admitted.  "Heard Gibbs is growling because someone stole her."

"My second in command who used to be Gibbs' senior agent," he agreed dryly.  "He did the job until I got nudged over."

"Are you okay?  You sound odd."

"I'm fine.  A bit tired.  I need another team right now.  We have all three teams in the field and one open case that I'll have to send Xander on.  Xander, single case?" he called.

He opened the door to look at him.  "Of?"

"Class three thingy that you were worried was going to pop up."

"Let Dean lead one of the girls to handle it.  He's been missing the hunt and they have to prove to us they're ready to go to Cleveland with Wes."

"I might do that."  He smiled.  "Thanks.  Play?"  He nodded and shut the door.  "I didn't know the girls were putting on a play."

"Kids on base?" Jack asked tolerantly.

"Yeah, about thirty of them.  Some teenagers, some younger."  He opened his computer to start an email just in case no one had warned Alan of the upcoming invasion.  "So, how's everyone?"

"Everyone's really bored around here and I keep messing up the paperwork."

"I do have that easier.  Tony created very little for me to do.  At least until appropriations and then I have to justify myself to the president.  Who was very amused last week.  He asked if I had talked to you."

"He asked me the same thing when he gave me your phone number.  Where are you?"

"Midwest, upper part.  Sorry, base is slightly untouchable."

"Uh-huh.  I do have a high clearance, Danny."

"We're in the Dakotas."

"I see."  He cleared his throat.  "Some reason you won't tell me?"

"Yup.  A few."  Danny Messer leaned in and pointed.  "Apparently we're having a spring play."

"That makes sense," Danny agreed.  "We're back.  Want the report now?"

"Will I cringe and is there loss of property, life, or do we have a new resident?"

"In the jail, yes.  Property?  Cracked the rental car when it slammed something into it.  Not our fault, have it on camera."

"Decent.  Report?"  Danny handed it over.  "I'll debrief and watch the tape later.  Shoo."  He grinned and closed the door, heading off.  "One of my teams is back."  A wicked idea hit him.  "Hey, Jack, is McKay on Earth?"

"Pissing me off for six more weeks due to an oversight hearing.  Why?"

"Can I borrow him?  I think we need some ideas kicked around in RD.  Warn him Abby's a bit goth and has a caffeine habit and the girls will all squeal and pounce.  It's the standard warning we give to all new people."

"Um, sure.  How would I get him there?"

"We'll come pick him up.  I'm going to try to steal Sam too.  I think we can frustrate her to no end over here."

"I'd hate to shoot you, Danny.  Remember, I got you out of the asylum and I can put you back," he said at his friend's laughter.

"I'm sure you can," he agreed.  "But then Xander takes over."  He hung up and leaned back, calling another number. "I need you to go to Cheyenne Mountain and steal a Doctor McKay from astrophysics.  I need him in RD to kick around ideas and to see what that thing Abby can't figure out is.  Thanks."  He hung up.  Letting Tony do the dirty work was fun sometimes.  It let Tony be evil too, so fun all around.  He went to watch Xander teach Mary how to bunny hop.  It was so cute!  He needed a camera.  Too bad Xander caught his intent and pushed him back into his office then shut the door in his face.

***

Abby looked at the man being walked in.  "You are?  New hire?"

"Doctor Rodney McKay, Astrophysicist.  What is this place?"

She smiled.  "DCIS.  Welcome to the labs and RD.  Why did you sign on?"

"Doctor Jackson asked me to."

"Ohhh!  You're the one he said I should show the thingy to.  Okay.  We have no idea what it does but we found it with a demon and we confiscated it just in case it was a weapon or something harmful.  Because that one was a weapon's dealer."  She walked him into a secure vault area, tapping in a code.  "Here we are."  He stopped to stare at something.  "Not that thingy.  We found out that eats walls."

"That's not logical."

She shrugged.  "We had a spirit telling us how to find the demon last month.  We don't have a lot of logic or Vulcans around here, Doctor McKay."  She pulled down the box she wanted.  "Here we are.  All our unidentified thingies."  She walked him back out and sealed it again.  "Some of the girls try to play in it if I don't seal it.  They all get to a certain age and suddenly weapons are cool."   She let him into a work area.  "You can borrow my design area.  Just don't blow it up.  I did that last month.  Xander gets pissed when he has to rebuild the labs."  She smiled.  "Need a lab coat, gloves, anything?  They're in the closet behind you and there should be a few spare coats in various sizes in there.  Call if you need me, I'll be in DNA."  She bounced off, her pigtails swinging with her.

"She's totally insane," he told himself, grabbing a coat and gloves so he could look at the box.  The first few things weren't horribly hard but looked like space ship parts to him.  He made notes and found a computer terminal, using his Area 51 ID once he found that as a log-in option.  Fortunately he had a good memory since he hadn't used it in a while.   The email he got back said he was right, they were parts and named them.  He labeled them for her and looked at the next item down.  Which made him scowl.  "How in the world did a piece of Atlantis technology get here?"  He got up and went to find her.  "How did this get here?"

She shrugged.  "We don't know how the demons get anything most of the time.  There's a whole network of planes, realms, and all that stuff that annoy the crap out of our agents when strange things show up.  Did you find something bad?  Is it a weapon I'll have to hide from Xander too?  Because he's a major weapons guy and so very bad with them.  Makes bad boys look good bad with them."

"Um.  Well, no, not a weapon," he admitted, thrown by her manner.  "But it's part of a classified project I'm on in Colorado."

"Oops.  Well, they're demons and they're everywhere.  No idea how.  You can ask Danny, see if they need it for any sort of court case.  He's upstairs by two floors and off to the right, at the end of the gloomy hall because Xander hasn't replaced his light bulbs.  He's been too busy on a case."

"Do you not have maintenance people?"

She shrugged. "I don't know.  I put in a report when I had a problem with a door sticking.  Nothing happened for a week so I told Xander and it got fixed.  I'll have to ask Tony if we have maintenance guys."  She grinned.  "Go ahead up.  He's probably bored and if he's not there he's in that two-story brick building with the slayers doing ESL classes."

"Thank you," he said, walking off with the piece of technology.  He found him on his way back to his office with new coffee.  "That girl is incredibly strange.  It's highly offputting to hear babbling from a pigtailed goth girl."

"We need free thinkers since we deal with demons, McKay.  Find something harmful?"  He held it up.  "I thought that might be yours.  At the bottom of the box is something that looks like a crystal but it's full of energy.  No idea what it is and that's what I called about."  He took another drink, watching the man's face turn red then slightly purple.  "Just think, they wanted Jack to head this insanity instead of me."   He headed off to his office, smirking at his good deed.  Sam would like how he had gotten McKay back for all the times he had irritated her.  He'd have to email her and tell her.  It might even prompt her to come nose around their labs and stay for a few years.  They were doing more interesting stuff than Area 51 anyway.

McKay stomped off, going back to look at that crystal.  Yes, he knew what that was too.  He called his team leader since he was on the same planet for the same oversight meeting, holding it up.

"How did that get down here?"

"Demons had it."

"Demons?  Interesting.  Where are you?"

"DCIS."

"Never heard of it."  He nodded. "Which state are you in?  Or should I call up that GPS chip?"

"North Dakota.  Where Doctor Jackson is running this wonderful brand of insanity."

Abby leaned in.  "Danny said if you get Jack storming in here to try to steal him back, I'm moving back to heading the lab, you're getting head of RD, and your boss if that's the cute one on the screen there is getting all this as his new post when he heads the agency."  She beamed and waved.  "Don't worry, the slayers only squeal and pounce but they don't bite.  Even if their cats sometimes do."  She left again.

"Do you see what he's done?" he demanded with a point.

"Isn't that the lab tech from NCIS that made Gibbs growl at every service member in the US until he could find her?"

"Quite possibly."

"I'll be there tonight.  Without Jack because I don't think I wan to run that place."  He hung up on his end and went to make that note.  "General," he said as he leaned into his office.  "I'm going to save McKay from a goth scientist with pigtails."

"Abby?" he asked with a frown.  "Danny has Abby on his team?"

"Apparently.  She's flustering him badly and he's found at least one piece of our assignment there."

"Uh-huh."

"But if I tell you where they are and you storm the base, Doctor Jackson has promised to put us in charge of it."

"No, I won't storm it and do that to you.  Danny had that slightly insane sound to his voice recently.  I don't need that much more stress."

"Good.  I'm heading to North Dakota then."

Jack slowly raised his head.  "Danny's heading DCIS?"  John Sheppard grinned and nodded.  "No wonder he's insane.  Have fun.  I'd never let anyone I know run that because it's horrible from what I hear.  Have fun."  He waved.  "Go away."

"Going.  Thank you for the leave, sir."  He headed off to find a way there.  Commercial would work then he could rent a car.

***

Xander ran into Danny's office, sliding around the person who was talking with him.  "It's now.  We've got deep shit.  We're heading."  He ran off, grabbing a few things on his way to the staging point.  "All right, people, listen up.  This is going to be bad!  We now have a full scale demonic invasion in downtown Los Angeles."  McKay gasped.  "You're not trained, stay here."

"I am so!  I'm on a field team on Atlantis."

"Wow, I thought that was still not working according to our sources.  Ask Danny if you want to go.  Does everyone have what they will need for the next few hours?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Benny Ray, make sure we have reloads behind us.  Just in case."  He looked at Dawn, who opened the portal. "Here we go.  Ladies first, take point.  In order of experience.  Someone stop Mary."  Someone shoved her at McKay then went through after Xander.

McKay looked at her.  "You're much too young."

"I'm a full slayer.  Put me down."

"No."  He handed her to one of the nurses, who grimaced and made her go wait in front of the tv with a slayer on crutches.  "Can I help?"

"Ask Danny."  Danny came jogging out and stared at him.  Sheppard was right behind him.  McKay got tossed weapons and they went to help.

Danny looked at the mass of demons streaming toward him, moaning a bit.  "Fuck," he muttered in Arabic.

"This is a foothold," Sheppard said, taking aim and firing.  "We should call in the troops."

"We have it.  Trust me."  He followed at a jog, going to help his people.  He had someone shutting down the cameras.  "Messer, behind you," he shouted, making him duck and someone else fire.  Danny took his own shot and kept going.  This was going to be messy.

Sheppard paused long enough to call it in.  "General, foothold situation with strange creatures in LA, downtown LA.  Different sorts, not sure what they are.  We have ammo that works but we're going to be overrun and we have a bunch of.... strangely strong female civvies," he said after seeing two girls rolling a car.  "Please, sir."  He hung up and got back to it.

Dean looked at his brother.  "Think the last one in Sunnydale was this way?"

One of the girls looked at him. "No, worse.  We were in the hellmouth then.  At least there's clean air here.  Slightly.  Sorta."  She killed a demon and they moved on.  "How do we plug the hole?" she whined when another one came at them.  "Xander, how do we plug the hole?" she shouted.

"We close the portal!" he shouted back.  "I didn't bring artillery.  Someone call Epps, see if I can borrow something big enough to take down a building!"  He moved up to get the next one, ducking a blow to his head.  "Hey, that still hurts from the last one.  Be nicer!" he said, decapitating it.  Troops in armored vehicles started to pull up but they were quickly turned on as well.  Xander pounced onto one and pointed.  "You need to fire something into that portal to close it.  Something that'll put out a high heat to mass ratio and something that'll create a surge in power.  Something higher than an RPG.  Do it now to shut that sucker down and stop more from coming!"   He hopped off and went back to the fight.

The soldier passed that on and higher artillery was brought.  In the end, a jet sent a rocket into the portal and it closed.  The last few demons were mopped up by the slayers and the DCIS team.

Danny looked at everyone.  "We all alive?"

"I'm not making zombies if you're not," Xander quipped, cracking a few people up.

"I thought you liked making zombies," Tony joked back, holding his injured arm.  "We missing anyone?" he called.

"Messer's with Holly and Crissy on a hunt of the last one that got away from them," someone reported.  "We're missing two of the girls."

"I'm hoping they're shoe shopping," Xander sighed.  He looked around then texted one.   "Yup, cleared their area, stayed to flirt with the guys they were escorting out of the danger zone."  That got a few more snickers.  He looked around.  "Merps?"

"Present," he said then went back to throwing up.  "I keep getting injured, sorry, boss."

"That's okay.  I did too," Danny promised.  "Dawn?"  She popped in.  "Can we get home?"

"No.  The fluxes from that portal closing are screwing with mine.  Sorry.  We'll have to transport the normal person way."  A jeep screamed up and she flinched, calling up a fireball.

"Whoa!" Xander ordered.  She let it go.  "Thank you.  Let's not fry a general."  He saluted.  "Sir."

"At ease, all of you.  You guys okay?"  Everyone kind of nodded.  "Good.  What the hell happened?" he shouted.

Xander pointed at the ruined portal.  "They opened it.  It was their bad guy plan to take over the world.  We see a lot of that at DCIS."

The general flinched at that name.   "Let's get you quarantined and treated.  We missing anyone?"

"We have three members on a hunt of a last demon.  Two slayers escorting cute guys, their words, out of the danger zone.  They're both sixteen," Xander said at his odd look.

"I guess that happens."  He got them retrieved and made sure everyone made it back to the National Guard base.  Because he wanted some answers.  His people could gather parts or whatever.  "What do we do with the remains?" he asked Danny, who seemed to be in charge.

"Burn them."

"I can do that.  We have an incinerator we use for weapons and drugs.  That'll work?"

"Probably."

"Good."  He went to pass on that order.  His field medics were looking over everyone.  Though the girls with them seemed to be doing a fine job of fussing some people to death.  He came back with another general.  "Him, sir?"

"Him," he said dryly.  "Media blackout?"

"Impossible.  It started ten minutes before we got alerted and about nine before they got here."

"You guys had a phenomenal response time," Danny assured him.  "We weren't sure of the day or we'd have given a head's up."  That got a nod from him.  "Thank you for your help."

"Not a problem.  I still want to know what happened."

"What Xander told you was correct.  The people who did this did it to take over the world.  This was their version of a terrorist act to destroy everyone.  Why use nuclear weapons when you can open a portal and call billions of things here to eat the others?"  Both generals shuddered.  "We've seen worse and better.  That's what we do at DCIS."

"I'll remember that, sir."  He left, going to check on what was going on in the city.  They might have to cordon off areas and enforce some limited curfews tonight.  One of the girls came out too.  "You should be in there."

"It's partially my job to patrol this city, General.  I need to be out there to see what sort of damage this is doing."  She left, heading down to talk to her contacts and to check on her adopted family.  Cordette was tied to a kitchen chair.  She gave her a hug.  "We're all okay, Cor.  I promise."  She beamed at that.  "You're still too young to patrol until you've passed hunter's training.  Xander's laws.  No real work until you're at least sixteen, seventeen if possible."

"I should've helped."

"Oh, sweetie," she sighed, giving her another hug.  "We had the military with us.  You couldn't have helped.  They'd have tied you up too."

"Fine."  She let herself be untied.  "Can I help now?"

"They're all gone," Alan told her.  "The news said so, Cor."

"That's right.  All I have left is patrol," Crissy teased.

Alan glared.  "Sit your butt down.  I'm sure you're starved.  Now, Crissy."  She sat down with a meek look.  "Thank you!"  He put food in front of her and his little one.  "You eat too.  That way you can patrol when it's your turn."  She beamed and dug in.  He called his son.  "Crissy and Cor are both here.  Crissy was going to patrol later.  Sure, you can do that with her, Don.  Feeding them.  She's got to be starved."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Don's bringing dinner over then you can go with him since it'll be a curfew while they clean up the mess."

"Sure."  She yawned but kept eating.  She was starved.  "I need this after every apocalypse."

"How soon before the next one?" Charlie asked as he walked in.

She shrugged.  "Danny, Sam, and Xander have all the books that they managed to rescue from England.  Ask them while they're petting them.   I only get a head's up if it's coming my way."  She yawned again.  "Sorry."

"Cor, take her to bed," Charlie ordered.  She nodded and walked her big sister off to let her sleep.   He looked at his father.  "Did you see that?"

"I did.  That was a lot of demons."  His son sighed but nodded.  "They did good.  No deaths on this side from what I heard."

"Good.  What about Cor's training?"

"We'll ask since they're all local."

"Uncle Tony and Uncle Xander are coming?" Cor called.

"If we can," Alan called back.  He called Xander's cellphone, getting Tony.  "Good, one of you is alive.  Cor wanted to know if you'd come visit and talk about her future training."  Tony said something and he nodded. "I get that.  Crissy's here.  She came to check on her.  No, I tied her to a chair because she wanted to go help.  Exactly.  Sure, that's good.  Thanks, Tony."  He hung up.  "Tomorrow at lunch, Cor."  She squealed and danced around.  He shook his head.  "She's a happy girl."

"It's a blessing.  She could be angsting over it."  Charlie picked at the rest of Crissy's sandwich but Cor came back to claim them both and eat in front of his old laptop so she could play her newest favorite educational game while she ate.  The two men shared a look then Charlie went to help while Alan got to work adding to dinner.  All the girls ate like a herd of cows each.  Even the little ones.

***

Mac Taylor watched the battle, growling when he saw who was fighting.  Don watched him watch the replay, catching sight of a friend.  "He's safe.  He sent me an email saying he only got a few cuts, Mac," he said quietly.

"He can't be!  He was there!"

Don nodded.  "He was."  He looked at the offer on his desk then called.  "Still need me?"  He nodded.  "Please.  I'd like that.  Can I do that tomorrow?"  He smiled.  "Thanks, Tony."  He hung up.  "I'm heading out there to work with them, Mac.  It'll be fine."  He gathered things and headed home for the night.  He'd pack tomorrow if the job was still open.

Mac growled.  "Don!"  He just waved over his shoulder.  "Bring him back here."

Don turned to look at him.  "How 'bout I go watch his back, Mac?"  He turned and walked off again.  That had been bad and they clearly needed more people.  He was a good detective and they had wanted him for that before.  So maybe he'd still meet criteria.

***

Greg Sanders stared at the tv.  Grissom watched him watch it.  "Didn't they offer you a position last year?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, looking back at him.  "They did."

Grissom nodded.  "I guess this is their hardest case yet."

"They do real investigative work but that was an emergency, Griss."  He went back to watching the replay.  "They probably need more people."

"You have that prior offer, Greg."

He nodded.  "I know."  He considered it.  "I might agree to be a regional liaison if they could train me in how to deal with it."

"I'm sure they could."  He patted him on the back.  "Let me know what they say."  Greg nodded, going to call Tony to talk about that.

Nick leaned in to look at the tv then at Grissom.  "Why is he pouting?"

"They offered him a spot on an investigative team last year."

"Wow.  So he's heading?"

"He's checking to see if they need regional liaisons."

"They probably would.  Those were nasty."   He left, going to talk to Warrick about this.  Greg was in a funny mood and they were all watching him.  Right now he could go into a fit of anger if they upset him or of happiness if he decided it was good news.  Hodges might do it to make him explode so it'd be over with but they wanted to be out of range.  "They offered Greggo a job last year on an investigative team."

Warrick nodded.  "They've got to have strong, free thinkers to deal with that.  I'm still wondering about all those girls that came.  Some of them were teenagers."

"Most of them were teenagers."  Greg walked in.   "Longer than average story but I knew one who's there and we write now and then.  Are you guys going to freak out if I get regional liaison classes?"

"No.  It could help us on some cases," Nick said honestly.  "We had that one last year with the slime no one could identify."

Greg nodded. "That's what I was thinking.  They said they do offer those classes.  Including lab classes."  He smirked. "I'll talk Hodges into that."  He walked off to talk to him.  "They offer lab tech classes," he told Hodges.

"Taught by?"

"The former tech at NCIS.  She's the head of their labs."

Hodges looked impressed.  "Definitely a free thinker.  We'll see.  I want formal documentation so I can look it over."  He nodded, pointing at the fax machine in the corner.  "You got me some?"

"I got me some and you can look it over too."  He smirked and went to get some coffee then work on his current case.

Hodges shook his head but he did sit down with it to look it over.

***

Horatio Caine had been on a case out in the Everglades all day.  So when he walked into the break room that night for coffee he had to stop and stare in horror at the news Eric Delko was watching.  "What was that?"

"That was LA earlier, H."  He pointed.  "That's Wolfe."  They watched as he and the girl with him worked very well to protect each other.  Then the camera moved off him to show others.  "It was solved earlier.  Took about five hours."  He sipped his own coffee.  "I'm wondering why the high girl contingent."

"I do not know," he admitted, coming over to listen to what they were saying.  "Can you get us a full feed?  Maybe we'll be able to find our errant tech and  talk some sense into him."

Eric looked at him.  "He looks pretty comfortable there, H.  That one guy said he could come back if he wasn't."

"I do not like my people being in that sort of danger."

"H, if it happened here, all cops would be called out.  I'm sure that's what that was."  He walked off, leaving him to huff and mentally rant in peace.  Wolfe had looked good doing that.  Maybe he had gotten over the stuff that made him an asshole to work with.  Apparently they even let him wear his track jackets to work.

Horatio fumed about his missing tech.  That one guy had poached his tech and he was not happy.  Perhaps it was time someone felt his anger.  He went to find that contact sheet and call out there.  "May I speak to Officer Wolfe please?"  He smiled, writing down the proper contact number.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called that one.  "Mr. Wolfe please?"  He listened to the night duty officer tell him he was already in his apartment for the night.  "Tell him to call me?  Horatio Caine.  He should still have the number at the lab.  Thank you.  No, not an emergency but a few questions need to be answered."  He hung up and sat down to fume.  How dare they poach his people!

***

Gibbs called his former people.  "DiNozzo, you good?"  He nodded at his cheery assurances they were all fine.  "I saw.  We all saw.  You team looked decent."  He smirked at the praise he had for his people.  "All those girls?"  Tony explained it to him.  "You need a firmer hand, DiNozzo.  The girls were too young."  Tony shot back that it was their duty and they were jumping in.  Plus they were trained.  "They're still girls."  His former agent said something smart and hung up.  He growled.  "He's getting a swelled head," he decided.  Maybe he would arrange things so DiNozzo would be coming back soon.

Somehow.

As long as he didn't bring that army of girls with him.

He went to make plans to see that done.  He wanted his people back.  They were in too much danger and no one competent was over them at the moment.  A linguist, even a military one, wasn't going to be able to handle that sort of situation.  It was clear DiNozzo had hired some quality people so now he could let them handle it.

***

The president walked into the meeting area later that night, nodding at Xander.  "We all in?"

"Crissy is off with Cor and doing a patrol tonight with the local liaison," he said quietly. "The other local girl needed a few stitches so she's taking tonight off but she'll brief a few of the ones who've slept and healed so they can fill in.  Danny fell asleep about an hour ago, sir.  I can get him up for you."

"First, let's talk."  He let Xander walk him outside.  "Are we expecting more of those?"

"No.  That plan took years to build up to and we know who did it.  We're going after them as a team tomorrow."  He smiled and nodded.  "Some may hide on some realms but I've already let it be known that we want them delivered to us.  We might even pay a reward within reason."  That got another nod.  "Wolfram and Hart have to go down though.  We've been working on it since I got there."

"I know you have, I've seen your monthly progress reports, Xander."  He smiled and clapped him on the shoulder.  "You've saved a lot of lives working against the evil in this world.  Especially today getting the right orders to one of the soldiers.  Good work, and good work training the girls."

"That's not just me.  I started it but I turned it over to more experienced people like Dean and Sam," he said with a point at them where they were talking to someone.  "And Major Sheppard and his team, who do our armory and training for the whole base."

He nodded.  "I'll put credit where credit is due, Xander, but you do deserve some of it.  It was your plan on how to lead the battle from what I heard."  He smiled and walked back inside, finding Danny's bunk easily enough.  He nudged the cot, nodding at him.  Danny grabbed his glasses and followed.   "You did good."

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"No but.  A few meetings to brief people, a lot of exposure, but no buts."

Danny nodded.  "I expected that.  How wide spread was that shown?"

"International.  Even the International Space Station saw it because we were trying to use one of their cameras to see if we could analyze the portals."

"Dawn's got us here."

"I saw that."  He smiled.  "You did good, Doctor Jackson."

"Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem.  How are you getting home?"

"Military transport in the morning.  We have a few minor injuries, some stress injuries, and Merps, who got a claw in the stomach.  We've already talked and he said he wanted to transfer to the FBI and do a desk job instead.  Fewer headaches.  We'll let him liaison."

"I'll let someone there know."  He smiled.  "Xander tried to say it wasn't his good work."

"Xander was raised around some trifling girls who I'd like to smack if we can find one and wake the other," he said honestly.  "Is Jack freaking out?"

"You have no idea the fit I heard on the way over."

Danny smiled.  "Sorry.  I didn't call him."

"That was a good part of the fit."  He smiled.  "Very good work and we'll all be at the meetings tomorrow here in the federal center.  You can ride in with me."

"Yes, sir.  Should I keep Tony or Xander?"

"No, Xander scares agents from what I've heard.  They don't know what to do around him.  DiNozzo might but you'll need someone to do the reports.  Serves him right for making Gibbs growl at me for him stealing Abby and himself."  Danny laughed.  "He did.  In public.  My guard suggested he go for coffee."  He walked off smiling.  "I'll pick you up in the morning, Doctor Jackson."

"Yes, sir.  I'll try to be awake."  He left, going to find a shower and BDU's for the morning.  It was the only clean clothes he'd have for a while, unless he could talk Dawn into getting him some and sending it to him tomorrow.  He found Xander still up and swatted him.  "It was your plan and partially your training.  Take compliments with a 'thank you' and walk off even if you don't think you deserve it."  He went to see Dean and Sam and whoever they were talking to.  "Boys."

"Danny," Dean said with a grin.  "Dad, this is Doctor Jackson, head of DCIS.  They who are shielding us from the law at the moment by making us deal with the squealing slayers."

"Thank you for watching out for my boys," he said, shaking his hand.  "Have they been good?"

"Mostly.  Dean's been teaching the girls how to sneak off base to go shopping now and then."

"I'm not going bra shopping with twenty girls," Dean said dryly.  His father laughed.  "Honestly.  That's what they wanted.  I'd rather teach them to sneak.  Better for their training anyway."  Xander stretched against the side of the building.  "Xander?"  He came over.  "This is our dad, John."

"You have great sons and they're a great help to me and the slayers," he said, shaking his hand.   "They can even break egos when all I want to do is spank a few of them."

"I have," Sam assured him.  "That's what fixed her too."  His father laughed.  "It was.  She thought she was all powerful because of her gifts.  Proved she wasn't because if she was I wouldn't have been able to get her."

"Sounds like you boys have been doing good work," he said.  He looked over but Xander was gone.  "Ninja?"

"Not quite," Dean said, pointing at him.

"You do realize his back's hurt?" John asked his older son.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, but if we ask, he'll stomp off and probably draw a demon who wants to kill him too.  Then he'll get hurt fighting it and we'll have to tie him down again.  All that good stuff."

"Well, it could be him finding another girl to date," Sam offered with a small grin.  "Then we'd have to chase her down, arrest her, stop her evil plan, probably to kill us all."  Danny walked off laughing.  "Yeah, keep it up, remember you had two of those this year too," he called after him. "The next one and I'm buying you a priest's collar."

"I'll let Jack pick my next one," he quipped back.  He walked inside and went back to his bunk.  It had been a long day.  He needed his sleep.  He'd even get it until Jack came over to thump him a few hours later.  He looked at him.  "Another invasion?"  Jack shook his head.  "President here yet?"  Jack smirked but shook his head.  "Then go away, Jack.  It's too early for this"   He put his head back down, ignoring the laughter above him.

Tony walked in an hour later and whistled.  "Transport back to base is ready!  Everyone going come on.  Slayers in one ride, agents in the other!"

"Why?" one slayer whined.  "I don't want to talk to them."

"To keep you from trying to drag one of the guys into the storage area.  Let's go."  They picked up and left, heading for their rides.  Xander and Dean riding herd on the slayers while Sammy led.  Him letting the agents be adults and get there.  He went to check, waking up a few people.  Not Danny because he had to do meetings, but everyone else.

"Take Sheppard with you.  Some of the things they identified came from their project," Jack ordered.  "He does have clearance."

"Sure.  Let's go, boys."  They followed him out to the transport with the last few.  They even ended up on the plane with the slayers.  Which made Tony cackle once he was safely on the other one.  "Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're little hell beasts."

Xander looked back at him.  "They are teenage girls," he agreed.

"Shouldn't you be riding with the girls?" Ryan teased.

Xander smirked at him.  "No.  Otherwise, I'd have to correct some assumptions."

Dean laughed.  "Yes we would.  But no food for a food fight."

"I think it's because we only fed them MRE's," Sam told them.  "They're starving so they're acting up.  Who are those two military guys?"

"People who worked where Danny had," Tony told them.  "We found some things from their classified project in Abby's 'I have no idea what this thingy does' box."  He sat down.  "We all on?"  They nodded.  "Then let's go whenever we can,"  he told the waiting pilot, making him go to deal with the plane.  The other one taxied out past them and they followed a few seconds later.  "Xander, when are you giving them driving lessons?"

Xander frowned.  "I haven't met a slayer, in four that I used to know, that could drive, Tony."  He frowned.  "They don't pay attention to the road.  They pay attention to find a demon they can hit with the car."

"We'll see if any of them are capable of it," Sam promised.

"Not in *my* car," Dean added dryly.

Xander nodded.  "I can understand that.  Impala's are nearly indestructible but nothing's that strong."

"You can't use my mustang either but I'm sure we can arrange for driver's ed," Tony told them.

"Danny said they get to go to public school this next fall."

Matt Sheppard looked at him.  "Full time?"  That got a nod.  "Then we'll need to shift their schedule for training."

"It'll give them something to do between three and dinner," Xander told him.  "Then right afterward."  That got a few nods.  "Anyone want to go school shopping with them?"

"We just got done with one apocalypse, let's wait on the next one," Danny Messer ordered dryly.  Because all of those girls going shopping together would be one in his book.  Especially since their mall was too small to have a food court.  A few booths but no food court.

***

John Sheppard looked at Xander that night.  "I had to break a few hearts."

Xander nodded.  "We've had that talk with them a few times.  Anyone pinch?"

"Two tried to pull us into wrestling matches.  Totally flummoxed McKay."

Xander smirked.  "They're still teenage girls."

"I noticed.  Do you think any are going to go military?"

Xander shrugged.  "We're waiting to see if they age out of their powers.  There's an old diary saying they might age out at twenty-three."

"Even without their powers they're still phenomenally trained," John told him.  "They learn a lot of things that normal grunts don't or won't ever find out.  On places like my project, that would come in handy."

"I've heard."  John glared.  Xander grinned back.  "Some of the underground talks about you guys.  They thought you had found it and were trying to get it to wake up."

"No, it's awake.  It's also no longer underwater."

"Congrats.  If they wanted to do that, I'd let Danny talk them into it.  I will be sending most of them to college if they want to go.  I don't want them to age out of it and not have anything."

"Good.  Then that's good for them.  If any of them want to go military, have them talk to Danny about special projects.  We could use them, powers or not."  Xander nodded.  "Thanks."

"Not a problem.  Some might.  A few of the girls are very gung ho and think Benny Ray is all that because of his training.  We'd have to see.  They're some of the younger teens.  Did you want to recruit in the older ones?"

"There's three I saw that have the right mindset for my project."  He pointed at the ones playing.  "The two redheads arm wrestling and the blonde doing crossword puzzles.  The one who just hit the younger one with her book."

Xander smiled.  "The two redheads are seventeen next year.  The blonde is only fifteen."  He looked at him.  "They have to be seventeen to apply for patrol positions but I'll ask them."  He nodded and left him alone.  Xander walked further into the room.  "The new guy from the special project said you guys did a good job too."  They all smiled.  "He also said that any of you who were thinking about going military should talk to Danny about their projects."  He patted one of the young ones on the head. "You should be in bed.  It's nine."  The girls with that bedtime groaned but headed up.  He smiled and headed back to his apartment.  He ran into Tony in the hallway.  "How would we do their college stuff?"

Tony shrugged.  "I don't know.  Maybe a year off for patrols and things.  We'll sit down and talk about it in a few weeks, Xander. Even the older girls aren't educationally ready for that."  That got a nod.  "Are we sure they'll age out of it?"

"We're pretty sure.  Sam found an old diary in the back of the stacks that had first hand observations of a girl that got called at twenty-one.  She made it to twenty-two, fell into a coma after a bad battle, woke up after a few months, then went back to it until she woke up and they had faded one morning a few days after her birthday.  Of course, the watcher kept sending her out so she died, but we're thinking it'll still happen.  We have one that's twenty-one so we'll see in two years."

"Good.  We'll talk with them about what they want to do afterward."

"College age is a good age to hunt people," Xander admitted.  Danny walked past them.  "Night."

"Night.  Worry about them being able to get to grade standard first.  Some of those girls only have remedial education from the old bastards."

"True," Xander agreed.  Tony smiled.  "I know.  We'll have to see what we can do."  That got a nod and Xander walked off.  "Thanks, guys.  Night."  He went to think about that in his apartment.  Someone would have to deal with the girls who were behind.  A few of the older teenagers were only working on the sixth grade level.  He'd have to talk to the local school tomorrow.  Plus push them a bit farther and harder in their classes this summer.

***

Danny Jackson smiled, shaking the hand of the young girl.  "Hi, Cordette."

"No Uncle Tony and Xander?"

Dawn opened a portal and let Tony and Xander both out.  "Just call, guys.  It's easier now."  She waved and closed the portal.

"We had to get the other girls settled," Xander said, picking her up to hug with a groan.  "So big.  Nearly too big to cuddle."

"Nah-uh!  Uncle Charlie said even he's not too big to cuddle."  She smiled, pulling Tony over to hug her too.  "Hi.  You did good.  Even Daddy Alan said so."

"Thanks, kiddo."  Tony took her to sit down.  "How is your training going?"

"I guess it's okay."  She looked up and smiled as Don walked in.  "He's been working on my training."

"Good," Xander agreed.  "We wanted him to.  How's she doing?"

"She's good.  We have a self-defense class through the agency for our kids.  I put her into it.  I didn't tell the trainer anything but he's noticed I'm sure.  Never says anything.  He does say she's picking it up extremely well."

"For most of the girls it's like waking memories and letting their bodies train with the old memories," Xander told him.  "Has she been doing her tapes of the classes we give?"  That got a nod.  "How's her regular classwork?"

"She got an A in math the other day."  She beamed.  "Charlie was so proud he was corrupting her to his side of the family."  Both guys laughed and he relaxed.  "Are we missing stuff?"

"Not yet," Xander told him.  "Dean and I talked; the easiest time to start them on hunting training is about fourteen since they're not allowed on patrol until they're seventeen.  Unless it's an emergency then anyone fully trained goes."

"Hunting like deer?" Don asked, sitting across from them.

"Hunting like manhunting more often than not," Tony admitted. "The same as we'd have to hunt down a demon that might be smart or a perp."

Don nodded.  "We can help with that.  I do know someone on the wanted man teams.  He's the third highest sniper right now."

"We do teach them all weapons," Xander warned.  "For most of the girls, they turn fifteen and weapons become cool."

"I've taken her to the range."

"It was loud," she complained.

Xander smiled.  "Yup but sometimes loud works.  You have to learn guns just like you have to learn crossbows and swords, Cor."  She nodded at that, beaming at him.  "So far you've done very good but Don wanted to talk about what you needed to learn later on, like when you're ten and older."

"That's fine.  I get to play with swords?"

"Yup," Tony agreed.  "Xander has all the girls learn sword work and crossbows."

"Stakes, and guns, and regular bows.  Basically you should be able to pick up anything and use it if you have to," he told Don, who nodded.  "Guns are taught to them too.  So are throwing knives because Dean does know that."

"Sure.  I know a few weapons people who could help her with that.  Since we all know locally, I doubt they'll complain too much.  Not after two days ago."

Xander grinned.  "A lot of people will forget anything but it was an invasion.  The human mind likes to forget things that they don't understand."

"I've seen that happening.  But we'll deal."  He smiled at Cor.  "Going to lunch with them?"  She squealed and hugged them both.  "I've got the afternoon off."

"That's cool.  We can test her, see where she's falling after lunch."  He patted her on the head.  "Tony?"

"We can save Danny from the meetings later."  That got a nod and they went to eat lunch wherever she wanted.

***

The gate guard looked at the man getting out of the sedan.  "Sir, case or personal?"

"Personal."

The guard looked at his ID, seeing the picture next to the ID.  "He's not on base."  He looked at him.  "He's off on a case with his current partner but he's expected back tonight."

"I have an interview in a few hours."

"That's fine then."  He called someone.  "I have a detective here to interview in a few hours, ma'am."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  Thank you."  He looked at him.  "Go ahead and park in the lot with the pink square on the sign then head for the main building.  That's the one with the window missing," he said with a point.  "Abby tested something and it blew it out.  Tony might be a bit late.  He went to check on one of the young slayers.  I will give you the standard warning - the girls will squeal and possibly pounce."

Don smiled.  "I can handle that."  He got in and went to park then look around a bit. It was a pretty base.  Someone had planted a few pretty bushes here and there.  One made him give it a confused look.  It was ugly, thorny, and in the middle of a path.

Someone leaned out a door.  "Give it a nudge with your foot.  It's taking a nap," he called.  "It's someone's pet."  Don did that and it woke up, moving off to a sunnier spot to nap.  "This way, Detective."  He walked in.  "You're which one?"

"Flack, out of New York.  Tony tried to snatch me at the same time he got Danny."

"That's fine.  We've had a few of the guys that he tried to recruit call us after the invasion.  We could use another team anyway.  A lot of cases got sent that're a bit old."  He walked him to the caf.  "Let's get you a snack first.  Danny's coming back with Tony and Xander.  He's been in meetings since then and they went to visit a younger slayer living out there."

"Slayer?"

"The girls."

"Oh."  He nodded, getting some coffee.  Someone would explain things to him.  He looked at the pastry tray but passed it by.

"I'd eat if you're hungry. The girls will hoover that down and there won't be any left in an hour."  Don smiled, taking a muffin for himself.  He heard the update over his headset.  "Sounds like they're back."  He led him with a head nod to the doors.  Danny was walking in looking tired.  "Sir, Detective Flack."

Tony looked at him.  "You sure you want to deal with this?  It's not all pretty and people do bad things to the demons too.  Even the peaceful species."

He nodded. "I can handle that.  Both sides need to be protected from the other.  There's some pains in the ass who're human and I'm sure you've run into demons doing the same bad things I have humans."

"Good," Danny agreed.  "Hired.  Tony, set him up for us?"  He nodded.  "Then we'll see what sort of team you're on.  Xander, do you have any open cases?"

"Six, seven, the same as usual," he said dryly.  "Three ghosts I'm handing over to Dean for field training later this week.  Two I'm looking up what they are.  Wolfram and Hart.  Then the new team case that hit my desk last night for research."

Sam walked past him.  "Someone handed it to me.  I've got it narrowed down to two clans.  Doesn't look that serious.  The markings point toward a clan meeting sort of event, not a rip and tear the people up event.  The clan's aren't peaceful if I'm right but we'll probably be able to find one and monitor it."

Danny smiled.  "Want a permanent job?"

"Ask me before we go."  That got a nod and they walked off.   "Dean was going to ask if we had stuff for field trials.  He thinks two of the girls can start working with the ones in the field.  He thinks we have one that won't be able to handle it."

"Then we might be able to find a better job for her," Xander agreed.  "Meet me at my desk after I get Don assigned stuff?"  He nodded, heading off.  "Okay.  Hi, Xander Harris, head of the Slayer's Council."

"Detective Don Flack Junior, NYPD."

He grinned.  "You're one of us now, Don."  He nodded and led him to a desk.  "Okay, let's see who's empty.  He pointed.  "That's Merps's desk. He's transferring out due to injuries and he wants a desk job so you can have his.  Tony, if we get more people we might need a bit more room for teams."

"We have the other two rooms we can take up."  He pointed.

Xander came to look at the walls.  "Do we want to pod us or room us?"

"Not really.  Too many people yell across the room at you for stuff instead of looking it up."

Xander nodded that was true.  He checked a wall.  "I can take out this one.  There's a closet on the other side.  Give me a few days."

"We don't have maintenance people?" Don asked.  "Should I bring in a stock of light bulbs?"

"We have no idea," Tony admitted.  "I put in a request to have something fixed and Xander got onto it that night because he was bored.  It seems like we have people who take out the trash.  Other than that?"  He shrugged.  "No one's really sure."  Don laughed.  "It's a department mystery."   He looked around.  "Did Merps already leave?"

"Not yet.  He's packing."

Tony checked his desk.  "Still has stuff in here.  But you can have that one for now.  If you don't like being beside the window, we'll move you later on.  Now, the team thing.  Do you absolutely want to work with Danny?"

"I liked working with Danny.  We do well together."

"His team's going to be missing Merps anyway," Xander said dryly.

"True.  Then I guess you can take his place there too."  Don relaxed and nodded.  "Let's get you housing set up."  He walked him over to the dorms.  "Cloris?" he called.  She came out of her office.  "Newbie.  Detective Don Flack, NYPD."

She shook his hand.  "We've got three open apartments.  One's on the third floor, one's on the fifth.  One's down here but you might be asked to move if we get a handicapped agent."

"I don't mind living higher up," he promised. "Elevators?"

She snorted. "Of course.   This isn't some ancient walk up."  She looked at Tony.  "If we have a new team coming in, make them married people?"

Tony nodded.  "We might be able to move some  people that way.  Dean and Sam so they have separate rooms?  Maybe me and Xander?"  She nodded that would be fine with her.  "Bring it to Danny's attention."  He led Don up to the empty apartment, letting him look around it.  "We do standard meals in the caf but the coffee and snacks center is always open.  You can cook here if you're feeling anti social or just need some quiet away from the girls.  Fair warning, they pinch.  Swat them gently."  Don smiled and nodded.  "This good?"

"This is really nice."

"Cool."  He walked him back out to his car.  "Go pack and come back, Don."  He grinned, heading back to do that.  He went inside to get things ready.  "Cloris is coming," he called into Danny's office before hitting his own desk.  Dean and Xander were going over the ghost cases.  "If they do, they have to write a report."

"So do all field watchers," Xander agreed.  That got a nod from Dean, he had done this before for them.  "Who do we have ready?"

"I've got six good candidates.  We'll take two girls to each spot, let them figure out what you already know."  He nodded, handing them over.  "Thanks, Xander.  What're we doing about that one?"

Xander leaned back.  "I don't know," he admitted.  "We won't need her in the field.  Is she good at anything around here?"

"She's been helping Abby.  You think she might want to go that way?"

He shrugged.  "If she does, we could make her a regional liaison when she gets hired into a lab.  We've got to figure out college stuff too."

Dean nodded. "Good point.  Twenty-three isn't so old."

"No it's not and a lot of vamps and other things seem to prey on the college aged.  So send them at twenty-one or so?"  That got a nod and a shrug.  "We'll talk about that later and I'll ask Abby about what that one's been doing to see if she's got an idea.  Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He left, going to find those girls and tell them they were heading off on cases.  Sam gave him a look.  "You coming?"

"Need me to?"

"Nah, I should be able to handle it," he promised.  "How long before you think Dad shows up?"

"Two more days to drive."  Dean smirked, heading off with the first set.  They were relatively nearby.  They could do it and be back in two days.  Then they'd work on the other two.

Danny walked into the squad room area.  "Problems?"

"Running out of housing if we get another team," Xander said, looking at him.  "Tony was talking about moving to one of the family ones.  His movies need more room."

Danny grinned.  "That's one solution.  I'm not sure what we're doing.  Other than that?"

"I have a slayer who cannot handle stress.  We're trying to figure out what to do with her if she can't do field work."

Danny nodded.  "I can understand that.  Not everyone's meant to be in combat."  He patted him on the head.  "Any other issues?"

"I'm knocking down that wall to give us more room so we'll need more desks."

Danny nodded.   "I'll get on that.  Thanks, Xander.  The others?"  He let him see.  He looked at the Wolfram and Hart one.  "Get Tony to see if we can't get some cooperation for that one.  Some of that is FBI crimes."

"They're still run by demons."

"But most of the lesser ones are human.  The other Feds can handle them.  That should be a team case, not an individual one."  Xander nodded.  "So have him call someone in DC."  He patted him.  "Then write me reports?"  Xander handed over his stack.  "Ah, the delivery fairy hadn't visited."  He walked off after visiting a few other inboxes that should have things for him but the little winged fairy that moved in and decided he was delivering things hadn't visited yet.  One had a note saying he'd have it done when he got out of the infirmary after the bad food he made himself the night before.

***

Xander leaned into the office at the FBI the next day.  "Is it time for me?"  The agent in there waved him in.  He walked in with the file. "I have ten boxes of information to back up what we know.  I've been working on the structure problem to be honest.  They're multi-national and annoying."

He looked at the case then at him.  "You can prove all this?"  Xander nodded.  "Why haven't you arrested and turned someone?"

"Because they have a clause they signed saying if they hand over any information on the group then they're going to be killed and they agreed to it.  If they die then Wolfram and Hart can bring them back to life as minions they don't have to pay.  They have a few like that.  Pesky soul clauses."

He grimaced.  "So they can't?"

"They can't.  So I'm working with what we do know and the few people who have turned.  I found one and he wasn't happy but he wasn't fully alive either.  They were playing with him."

Fornell grimaced.  "This is a wreck."

"It was their senior board who were over the invasion," he said quietly.  He left and came back with the handtruck of boxes, opening one to pull out a file. "This is their flow chart of management."  He pointed.  "The ones edged in black were over the invasion.  The ones in red are alive, somewhere.  We know they're demons.  Half the senior board are hiding off    plane.  It's a good time to get them."

He nodded, looking it over.  "The ones left alone are human?"

"The ones with the pink x in the corner I haven't checked yet."

He nodded at the few of them left.  "Okay.  Let me look this over, Harris."  He looked at him.  "Not bad.  We'll see what my guys can come up with."  Xander grinned.  "How's DiNozzo?  He's still driving Gibbs insane from a distance."

"He's good.  His team's on a case in Chicago right now.  Not something huge but another ritual case."

"Good to know."  He waved him off.  "Let me handle it.  I'll call in a few days."  He nodded and left.  Fornell called up his own legal advisor for the department.  "Come here, please?"  He had noticed his name on the chart.  "New case," he said at the look at the boxes.  The lawyer walked in and paused when he saw what he was looking at.  "So, what's going on?" he asked with a feral smile.

"I can't tell you.  They'll kill me.  They can do it from a distance by magic, Fornell."

"You will help me."  He nodded at that.  That'd save his own life.  "Good.  Let's see where we can start with warrants for arrest and confiscating information."  They got down to it and it was good.  They'd destroy this hidden empire so there weren't any more invasions like the last one.

***

Horatio and Mac met at the airport in North Dakota.  "Did Mr. Harris poach from you too, Mac?" Horatio asked, spotting his friend's back.

Mac turned to look at him.  "DiNozzo did.  Harris poached?"

"Ryan Wolfe.  I let him go to interview and he sent me a voicemail saying he was staying.  By that night all his things were gone as well.  He sent the Chief a postcard to tell him he was retiring.  It did not make for a happy group of higher ups."

Mac smirked.  "They came to openly recruit Flack and Messer.  Danny left an hour after Tony talked to him and all his stuff was out of New York by midnight.  Whisked away like they were moving fairies.  Think they were?"

"I'm not sure I want to contemplate that."

Mac laughed, nodding.  "I can see why.  Heading there to see your boy?"

"I am.  I want some answers."

"Me too.  Share a ride?"

"If you want."  They went to get the rental and headed out to the base.  Horatio looked around as Mac drove.  "It's pretty country."

"It is.  I'm guessing they all live near the headquarters."

"Harris mentioned free housing to Eric when he was making his offer to Wolfe."

"Think it's something like a base then?"

"It could be.  Do you know where they are?"

"I do, mostly.  My computer tech tracked the email address Danny uses to a small town about two hours away."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Think they're fine after that battle?"

"I do hope so.  I'm still wondering about all those girls that were there."

"Maybe we can find someone to answer some real questions before we pull people back where they belong," Mac said.  Horatio smiled at that idea.  "Don Flack decided to come out too.  It's making Stella pout."

"We're lucky they haven't poached more people from our labs.  We do have good ones."

"We do have good people.  Did they poach from Grissom?"

"Not sure.  He never said anything and I haven't seen any openings for higher CSI out there."

"Hmm.  So they went after specific people with specific skills."

"I'd think they'd be looking for open-minded people," Horatio admitted after a second.  "People who could handle the subject matter."

Mac nodded.  "I'm not sure if I could have without proof."  He checked the directions he had downloaded and followed them off the highway to a lesser road. "It's odd not to have buildings everywhere around you."

"It is, or swamps."

Mac laughed.  "Lots of Everglade cases?"

"Yes.  Calleigh has been complaining about all the cases out there.  She had a gator nearly eat her evidence case the other day."  Mac laughed louder.  "Exactly."

"Have you had to call them?"

"Not yet.  Our regional person apparently is keeping those cases under wraps."  He watched a state trooper go screaming past with lights and sirens on.  "Let's hope we won't be pulled into that."  They were quiet until they passed by the wreck a bit farther on.  "Maybe they moved them here because nothing truly horrible happens out this way."

"They've still got their share of crimes but less because there's fewer people.  I'd guess it'd give them time to defrag after bad cases."  He turned off the highway and onto another one, noticing the signs for the base.  "Hmm.  Maybe they are on a base.  That's in the town we're going to."

Horatio smirked at his friend.  "It'd be a good use."

"Yes it would."  They made it there about forty-five minutes later and the gate guard stopped them.  "We're here to see Messer and Wolfe please?"  He held up his work ID.

"Case, Detective, or personal?"

"Personal," Horatio said, holding up his own ID.

He nodded.  "Agent Wolfe won't be back for a few hours.  They're on their way after the situation in Chicago.  Messer is in the residence hall.  Park in the pink square lot and you can walk over.  It's the left tower, sir."

That got a nod and Mac parked where indicated.  It was in clear sight of the guards.  A good security precaution. They walked around, looking at things.  It was a well-tended base.  Even if they did have to walk around a bush in the middle of the sidewalk.  Which got up and walked off with what sounded like a huff because Horatio's shadow had blocked out the sun on it.  Mac laughed.  "Good pet I guess.  Easy to care for probably."

Horatio looked at the bush then at him.  "Think it's Danny's?"

"No.  He didn't seem like the pet sort."  He looked down at the cat staring at them.  "Hey, kitty.  Can we pass?"  It walked on and was picked up by a young girl, who smiled. "Good afternoon."

"Hi.  Case?"

"Looking for Wolfe and Messer."

"Danny lives on the sixth floor of the single's building."  She pointed.  "But he might be with the cute new guy helping him unpack on three."

Mac nodded.  "Thank you, miss."  They walked on, finding the entrance to the building easily enough.  He found the buzzer for Danny's apartment and used it.

"What?" a voice asked.  "Heading down to help Don unpack."

"It's me," Mac said.

There was a pause.  "Meet me on three, Mac."  He cut off.

Horatio looked at him.  "He doesn't sound totally happy."

"It happens."  They took the elevator to three and found Danny getting off one of his own.  "Stella is beyond livid that you don't write."

"Haven't had the chance to."  He looked him over.  "You look good."

"You do too.  I caught that invasion.  You good?"

Danny shrugged.  "A few big scratches, a dent on the shoulder.  Could've been worse. The slayers backed us up beautifully."  He knocked on a door then walked in.  "You got more visitors."

"Awww."  He smirked at Mac.  "My dad quit yelling yet?"

"Haven't seen him."

"He threatened to blow up the police commissioner's office if he let me go."

"Then no, he's probably fine."  Don nodded, heading back into the kitchen.  He looked around.  "This is nicer than the one I had on base."

"We only head out of town every few cases," Danny admitted.  "If we still had the moving company on retainer, it'd be done," he taunted.  "I walked in from filling out forms and it was already here and set up for me."

Don smirked.  "I had to get my mother's blessing.  She's vowing to send cookies and hopes one of the girls is around my age and single."

"Nah, most are teenagers and pinch," Danny said dryly.  "If you're whistling, you're not being stealthy!" he shouted suddenly.  The whistling in the hall stopped and the girl walked in with the table. "Thanks, Hannah."

"You're welcome," she said cheerfully.  She smiled at the two men she didn't know.  "More newbies?  I can show you around."

"The dark one's my former boss," Danny told her.  "He's a Marine and is probably thinking about rescuing me from you girls."

She giggled and swatted him gently.  "Why would he be so silly?  We need to learn how to deal with men.  Even if Ryan is shy and mean because he hides from us and won't let us talk to him if there's no one else around."

"That's because one of you tried to get into his panties," Danny said dryly.  "He doesn't want someone that young."

"Shoot," she muttered.  She blinked her big, green eyes at Don.

"Oh, no!  I only like 'em legal and with a career."

"Damn it," she muttered.  Danny swatted her.  "Hey!  Watch the hair!" she pouted.  She gave them both hugs, without groping because she did have some self control, then left.  She went to pout at Sam.  He'd let her and only hand her a book to do something useful.  She could help him research *and* stare at him.  She was a talented girl.

Danny shrugged at the incredulous looks.  "She's sixteen.  They do that.  There's a whole bunch of them that do that."

"Cornered me at dinner last night," Don agreed.  He moved the table with a moan of pain for his poor back but Danny came over to help.  "Can we borrow the super strong stuff?"

"Only if you go train with Dean," Danny quipped back.  "Dig in, guys.  You can help him unpack."  They got to work helping and watching them.  Danny did take a bathroom break and texted Ryan to warn him since he was on his way back.  He got one back and came out to call the infirmary.  "Wolfe said they've got a sprained wrist and a slight concussion coming back from the scene in Chicago," he reported.  "They should be in within twenty.  Send Wolfe to Don's place please?"  He smiled as he hung up.  "Infirmary will have it."

"We have our own docs?" Don asked.

"Yeah.  Good docs.  Tony chose people who could handle the strange stuff or anything that came up."

"I guess that's pretty cool."  He grinned and went back to moving.  "Where is it?"

"Basement of the main building.  We've got our own ward and the special coma ward down there too."

"Special coma ward?" Mac asked, looking concerned.

"An explosion in LA right after the Sunnydale thing took out a lot of people.  Knocked them into a magical coma.  We have no idea how six are up but there's more still down so we're waiting.  Xander thinks it'll be sometime this year.   No idea why he says so though.  He's too busy to find most days."

"How many jobs does that guy do?" Don asked.

"He's over the girls, does cases like we do, is third in command, our handyman, handling some of the recruiting now and then.  He's a busy guy," Danny agreed.  "Tony's looking at someone to take some of it but only the stuffy dude in the coma can wake up and take the girls from him.  We're expecting some yelling."

Don nodded.  "Makes sense ta me."  He put up the rest of the movies he was working on and got another box.  Ryan tapped then leaned in.  "Come help."

"Sure."  He smiled. "Hi, Horatio."  He nodded politely at Mac.  "You must be Danny's former boss.  Ryan Wolfe."  He shook his hand and helped Don by going to arrange things alphabetically for him.

"No OCD cleaning," Danny warned.

"No weapons up here.  Has he met Benny Ray?"

"He has.  Got his locker and key."  He looked at Don.  "He's still going to clean over there when he gets too stressed."  Don smiled but shrugged and got back to work.  He looked at Mac.  "We're really okay, Mac.  I promise."

"I can see you're physically fine.  Are you happy?"

"It's a hard caseload," he admitted.  "We have people doing some bad things to harmless people just because they're different.  It's like a constant hate crime unit with the occasional 'I sold someone' or 'I'm doing bad things to end the world' thrown in.  We're doing better now that we're tracking who's buying stuff like they want to start an ascension."

Ryan shuddered.  "Don't remind me.  I was watching that tape with the younger girls in Demonology the other day."

Danny patted him on the back.  "They decide Xander with a rocket launcher was hot?"

"Yeah," he agreed with a grin.  "He was kinda hot.  Like an action hero.  If they made movies of what we did some days, you'd either be really bored or no one would believe it."

"You're the one who nearly got eaten by the plant," Danny taunted.

Ryan scowled at him.  "That wasn't my fault she decided me not looking at her was hitting on her.  Or that she was offended I wouldn't take her up on her generous offer so she tried to swallow me whole so no one else could have me!  She's a teenager!"

"Perhaps you should come home?" Horatio suggested.  "That would keep you safer."

Ryan looked at him.  "I heard about the terrorists."  Horatio grimaced.  "I have the same thing, only mine look strange and speak in a language I'm still learning."  He got back to work.

"Do we have to?" Don asked.  "I suck at it."

"We have a few good with the common languages on the team," Danny promised.  "I am proud to say that Fornell has taken Merps back and he's working on the Wolfram and Hart case Danny made Xander turn over to the FBI.  They got half the pussbags and are only waiting on a good keystone to give."  Ryan beamed at that.  "Though the main assholes are off realm."

"We'll get them when they come back or one of the peaceful clans will send them back as a gift to get on the good side of the slayers," Ryan pointed out.

"They should do like we do, offer chocolate," Danny teased back.

"Don't they already bounce a lot?" Don asked dryly.

"Well, yeah, but they quit pouting when you give them chocolate."

Don snickered. "Uh-huh.  I'll keep that in mind."  He made shooing motions.  "Back to work for my pleasure, people."  They laughed and got back to work.  He noticed the two supervisors giving each other looks.  So later on when Mac and Horatio tried to talk their people into coming back home he wasn't surprised.  That Horatio made it a demand when Ryan refused was.  Mac too.  He saw Xander looking and shook his head.  They could fight this battle.  Danny and Ryan could stand up to the bosses.  They were doing okay.  They finally had to leave without their people but they did vow that they'd be back every few months to make sure they were still healthy and if they found different they'd be drug back to their jobs.

Tony leaned over to their table.  "My boss is the same way.  He's still trying to drag me and Abby back.  We'll handle it if they come up to kidnap you, guys."  They smiled and nodded.  One of the girls shouted and spat something in a demon language.

"What have I told you about swearing?" Xander snapped back from his place getting seconds without having to look to see who it was.  "Do not make me institute public spankings."

"She's...."  Xander turned and glare.  "Fine, we'll talk about it after dinner," she said, sitting down to sulk.

"Yes, you, she, and I will be," Xander promised, glaring at the other girl, who slunk down.  "She's sorry.  It won't be happening again," he promised.

"At least she switched languages so we didn't know what she called her," Danny said.  "Is there a good tutorial manual in those languages, Xander?"

"Ask Wes.  I learned by taking the dictionary to the books we were researching in."  He nodded at that.  "Wes does the language lessons for the others too."  He sat down, looking at his girls.  They all slunk down.  "Good.  Finish up.  Then we'll hold a conference."  They nodded and dug in to finish dinner while he did the same.  He'd need energy for this one.  He was sure it was another trivial girl matter.  He walked them back to their building and locked them in.  "Well?" he demanded, arms crossed over his chest.

"She can't have him, he's mine," the swearing one whined.

"Since when can either of you date?" Xander asked dryly.  "Beyond that, poaching is for evil wenches.  Not for good girls and not for slayers."  They all nodded at that.  "Now, which boy has been sneaking on base?"

"Sam?" the second one asked hopefully.

Xander laughed.  "Diedre, Sam lost his girlfriend just over a year ago."  She wilted.  "Beyond that, you'd have to get Dean's permission to ask his brother out.  He is a fiercely protective big brother."

"Just like you are," Dawn quipped.

"That's right."  He looked at her again.  "I think I'll be talking with Sam about your crush and you'll be talking with Abby if I can ask her."  He walked off to talk to Abby, dragging Sam when he found him in the hallway.  Dean followed, looking curious.  They didn't often go into the lab.  He heard the new guys yelling about impossible things that weren't logical by any form of science in any universe and shrugged.  "It's magic, what did you expect?" he called back.  "You want logic, use another field or switch agencies!"  He looked at Abby.  "Diedre and Hannah's problem tonight was they're both crushing hard on Sam and Diedre thinks she's claimed Sam as hers."

Dean choked and Sam moaned.  "Oh, no," Sam moaned.

"I told them you were grieving and she had to ask Dean to take you out.  That he's a very protective big brother.  That they'd be talking with Abby if I can get her to explain girl things to them?  It's you or Faith.  Please?" he begged.

"Sure, I'll talk with all the girls about girl things.  I give the 'big girl' talk anyway," she said with a smile.  "I'll try, Sam, but you're at least close to their age.  Not like the one who snuck into Ryan's apartment nearly naked and crawled in with him."

"Oh, she got punished," Xander promised.  "A lot.  In front of Danny and Faith was listening."

"Tony did a good job hiring for eye candy," she teased.  "They're teenage girls and they all go through this stuff.  I promise."  She went to talk to the two girls.

Xander looked at the guys.  "I have no clue.  I'm not really a girl.  I know three of them like Dean.  Other than that, I have no clue."

"Can our dad come help for a while?" Dean asked.

"If you can find him a spot to crash in your place.  We're running out of open apartments."

"If not, there's that spare room over there," Sam said.  "He can definitely knock down some egos if he stays with them.  He did Dean's."

"He did," Dean agreed.  "And kept me from being such a horn dog too.  I was worse."

Xander shrugged.  "Okay.  He did a good job with you two since you're both mostly normal.  I don't know how parents do this stuff."

"We'll get Dad here," Dean promised.  "We'll even brief him and let him watch us with them.  Which ones are crushed on me?"

"Steph, Mercy, and Annabelle."

"Annabelle's just turned nine," Dean pointed out.

"She's still crushing hard.  You're her hero and she said you're the only sort of boy she'll ever like.  Dawn told me.  Steph watches and drools when you're running training.  Mercy thinks you'd be tough enough to match her toughness.  Hannah and Diedre both think Sam's sweet, smart, and strong enough to handle being with a slayer.  Which they're right about and they're seeing a problem they'll have.  No boy will ever understand the calling unless he knows.  Buffy had that same problem.  I'm hoping sending them to regular school will help that."

Dean nodded.  "It should.  More guys their own age.  Though we will have to have a talk about birth control."

"Already on it.  Slayer blood draws demons and vampires," Xander said with a manic grin.  "Having twenty of them bleeding in the same area?  We'd be overrun."

Sam nodded a bit.  "Probably a good idea.  Thanks for the head's up, Xander.  I'll make sure I'm not alone with Diedre."

"You do know most of your research helpers come in to have you hand them a book because they can stare and read?" Xander asked.  Sam blushed.  "Yeah.  The girls all think you're very sweet and the rest of them just want the eye candy."

Dean smirked.  "We are handsome devils."

"Remember, we tend to draw evil ones for lovers," Xander quipped back.  Dean walked off laughing, Sam following him out still blushing.  Xander looked at the curious looking Colonel.   "Girl issues."

"I'd figure there would be some.  Should I worry?"

"No they see you as eye candy but you'll be leaving soon so they can only stare at you and the loud one in the lab."  He walked off happier.  The agents all knew that the girls were *girls* and doing these things but only a few had bad gaps in their common sense.  He hoped.  He found Dawn.  "You don't want to join in that club, right?"

She pinched him on the cheek. "I have very high ideals.   I set them when I crushed on you.  They've got to at least match up to you, as my big brother sort, or else they're just playtoys."  She walked off smiling.  There were a few guys here she could crush on but she knew what discretion was.  Her mother had taught her.  She wished her mother was here to help her.  She looked up.  "Could use your common sense, Mom.  Really."  She went up to her room.  Of course she was woken by the girl fight later on and went to help stop it.  That's why she ended up in the infirmary later that night.  The three girls fighting were all there too.  Dawn interrupted the nurse to call Faith and Wes.  "Girl fight over boys they can't have anyway," she said, then put them on speaker and walked away.  Let the mother slayer of the group deal with it.  Xander needed his sleep.  She went to visit her sister's bed, smiling at her peaceful sleeping.  "At least you're missing this scene.  Damn you're lucky."  She went back to bed with her brace for her sore wrist and new headache.

Chronicles of a Slayer by Stephni Warner.

She watched the new guy, Xander.

He was pretty good with the girls and had them working as soon as he got there, which she appreciated.  He had also saved them from the Watchers who wanted to BBQ them at the old base.

Matt, her father's friend and helper, had gotten her into the hands of some agents who had gotten her to safety, and Xander, when the Bringers were attacking. She sniffed a bit, she missed her father, but he had died saving her so she would carry on his memory. And one of those memories was in the box she carried in her pack. They were for the new guy, Xander.  She walked up to his office, where he was working, and waited for his attention. When she had it, she carefully placed the box in front of him.

"What is this?" Asked Xander.

"My father made sure that all of his books were; translated, cross-refrenced, and scanned onto DVD just in case."

Xander's grin widened, then he looked at her again.  "Your father?"

"My Watcher formerly adopted me after he got me. Said it made sense and saved a lot of time hiding and such. He was supposed to be a research Watcher, but his father didn't like that so he pulled strings and suddenly he was a field Watcher instead. His father didn't like the fact that he was teaching me languages and history as well as the Slayer stuff and complained to the Council. They didn't care as long as I was being taught the Slayer stuff. So they left it alone."

She pulled a book out of her pack. "This is my chronicle. I kept his journal, but I figured you needed this."

Xander nodded and carefully took the book from the shaking Slayer's hand. "Thank you...Fallicity right?" She nodded. "Thank you, Fallicity.  I'll put the DVD's in the library and read the chronicle tonight."

She nodded again, then said, "We were in the process of loading the translations onto the website so you might want to finish that."  She turned and left.

#####

She was up at her usual time of 5am and out doing her Kata's and warm-up exercises. She had been lucky and had been able to save her weapons that Matt and her father had either made, had made for her, or bought her. It connected her to them as did the copies of the DVD's she had with her. She saw Xander come out of the apartment building and head to the caf for his coffee as she finished up her Tai-Chi and moved into Aikido. After that was her Kendo and then a run so that by the time the other girls were just getting up, she was already at breakfast and getting ready for the day ahead.

#####

Fallicity looked at her clothes, or lack of them.

She had had a choice when they were packing; either clothes or weapons and the DVD's and important paperwork. They knew that she would be on her own if something happened to them and they wanted to make sure she could carry the bags. Her weapons; knives and throwing stars as well as a kendo stick, staff, and crossbow and bolts (which was in the armory), came in a duffle bag and were a must.

The clothes, DVD's, paperwork, books, went into her backpack which was a real backpack and not a student one (though she had one of those packed away as well just in case). Her father and Matt had enjoyed going camping and thought it was a great way to have some family time as well as training time. There had been peaceful demons in the woods that her father had them teaching her things he didn't know so that was further reasoning for the trips. Like they had needed a reason to go camping, she smirked to herself.

She looked back at her clothes and sighed. She had one pair of jeans and TWO shirts to go with them, and only ONE set of underwear. There was no stopping it.  She needed to clothes shop.

She shuddered, the thought of clothes shopping and the fashion plates that were around her nauseated her, but there was no choice she couldn't keep washing her clothes in the sink in the bathroom.  Several of the other girls had already sneaked off to shop on the council's dime, but she decided to do the right thing and ask if someone could take her or if she could head out on her own.

She smacked herself on the head, her trust fund. Her father had set it up for her that she was his heir and therefore got all of the money and items.  And when his father died because of the Bringers, she got that too. She rummaged around in her desk and pulled out the paperwork to take to Xander. At least now she could get some things for her room so it was more homelike.

#####

There was no getting out of going with a group of girls going shopping. She shook her head as she watched them all head for the GAP and Vicky's and headed off to SEARS. She could get everything she needed there and Xander said he would pick up the cost instead of it coming out of her trust. He had set that aside for when she was either on her own for some reason, or 21, whichever came first.

Like the other girls, she had a  prepaid credit card that had her start up funds for clothes and things on it, after that it would have her allowance on it so she could get other necessary things.

She was real happy to be on Deppo and couldn't understand the others dislike of it since it was only a shot once every three months.  She shrugged to herself and headed off to look at the beds first.  She wanted a bunk bed like at home. When she had been little, they had play camped in her room by putting blankets tucked in on top so that you had a closed-in place like a tent.

She liked the fact that she could ignore the top bunk and put a board up there instead and place things like a new stereo (which she would get later) and books up there so she could maximize her living place. She could also hook up a fan to the end of the bed and to the bottom part of the top so that she had the breeze coming just where she wanted it to and it didn't take any more room in her small dorm room.

She already had a small dresser, desk, and closet, so she didn't have to worry about any other furniture, but she WAS going to get her a cd walkman for now to go with the cd's she was going to reacquire, and then she was going to get a new laptop. She had already cleared it with Xander so that the council would pay for it and then take the money out of her allowance for the next few months. The council would pay for half of the system she wanted, or all if it was just a basic system. She wanted a good system so she decided that she could live with only getting a cd here or there once a month.  Xander had said that the wi-fi was throughout the base so she could log in anywhere as well which would be good.

Xander arranged for delivery of her bed and new bedding, then led her to where the others were and they STILL were shopping. Xander sighed and she giggled at his look, as he went up to each group and told them to finish up they were leaving in a half hour.  If they weren't in the van at that time, they would be doing KP and washing walls and such for a month.

#####

The other girls whined about her bed and the fact that SHE got a computer in her room. Xander had pointed out that she was paying for it in monthly payments out of her  allowance and that if they wanted to they could do the same. The others didn't want to give up their shopping time so turned that down and STILL whined about it. Xander had finally had enough and laid down the law when he had found out that several of the girls needed the doctor after trying to break into her room to trash it. She had been smart and had made friends with Dawn and had her ward the room so that no one could get into it without her wishing it or in an emergency.  Since she didn't wish it and it wasn't an emergency, the wards had bit back...HARD.

Of course they whined about THAT too, and continued it to anyone who would listen for the next two months of doing scut work around the base.

#####

When Dean came, she watched the girls go goo-goo over him and his brother and sighed.  The hormone patrol was at it again. She WAS happy that she was one of the first to move up to hunting lessons though.  She knew that now that she was called she would need to know as much as possible to last as long as possible so she studied hard in classes such as demonology and (with Xander's permission) had signed up for classes online for the semester so that she could continue at her own pace since she was so far above where they were teaching the girls right now.

Knowing what she did now about the other girls, she was VERY happy she had a good Watcher that had wanted her to know as much as possible in order to survive.  Many of the other girls had never been to school, or if they had, it had been spotty at best.  While she had also been home-schooled, her father had actually kept to the regimen that the state had wanted so and went even farther.  When she was two, he had started her learning Latin along with English, and as she got older, he added more languages.  Taking a page from the Watchers and having everything he could be in the language for a year with the school studies in English but the questions in another language.  One of the things he did during this time, was to have her help him translate his books, choosing the ones in the language that they were studying to help her learn it faster.

When she was five and starting kiddy martial arts with Matt, Matt had been dismayed that she was such a book worm, and when he started to date her father, he started teaching her about the outdoors and things with her father teaching her about the demons that lived out there.  She had gone hunting as soon as she was old enough and had bagged her deer every year.  Her father had also arranged for her to play "tag" as much as possible with the area demons so she could get the feel of hunting something other than deer. Now she would be getting even more lessons in hunting, this time for real.

#####

She worked on her Kata's, she had been doing them a few times a day now along with her workouts with Dean and the others.  She had been in the invasion battle and had seen exactly what her Matt had been trying to tell her. Now she knew she needed to be like the Bionic Man. Better. Faster. Stronger.

Xander came up to watch her and then broke into her Kata's.  "Lissy, you need to relax and have fun. You can't be Superwoman, it just doesn't work.  If you allow yourself to loose track of the fun things in life, you become like one of the old Slayers and end up dying fast and young."  He pulled her down to sit with him on the grass and held her as she cried.  She had never really cried for her missing father and Matt, or for her friends, or anything else that had happened since the First Evil.  And Xander just held onto as she let it all go.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Family

John Winchester made it to the gate and nodded politely, pulling out his ID.  The guard silently pointed.  "My boys in trouble?"

"Figured you were here to help with the girls, sir.  Visiting family instead?"

"Probably a bit of both," he admitted.

The guard leaned closer.  "The girls have a bad habit of staring if you can help with that.  You raised two good boys, most of the time, but the girls are too much for Xander."

"I'll see what I can help with.  Where can I park?"

"Single's building.  Their parking spot is used so use B-18."  He nodded, heading that way and the guard marked it on his sheet.  Hopefully he could help those girls quit being so... strange.  Though most were nice.

John parked and got out, following the squealing going on to where the girls were playing tag with one of the younger ones.  He moved into the shadows to look.  No one was supervising and he was wondering how long the other adults could put up with the squealing.  He would've yelled by now.  Soon a guy he didn't know but had seen at the invasion walked in.

"What are you doing?" he yelled.

"Annabelle has our diaries!" one girl shouted.  "She's going to read them over the PA system!"

"Annabelle!"  She pouted but handed them over.  He looked at the embarrassed girls.  "It's a normal urge to like boys or whoever.  Some of you still take it too far.  Try to behave.  Where are the boys?"

"Library with Xander.  Danny thought he found the next apocalypse.  They're checking to make sure it's not like the last one and the large chicken coming down from heaven to announce the end of the world because the sky will fall."

He groaned.  "Well, it's self defense class so line up and let's get back to it."  They groaned but those with diaries left them with him while they did that.  Just in case the younger girl tried again.  Matt saw the lurker and walked over there.  "You are?"

"Dean and Sammy's father John."

"Here to help?"

"Not sure yet."

He smirked.  "We all pull weight around here.  They should be back soon."  He went back to watching the girls.  Xander leaned in.  "I got it."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure.  The screaming was one girl had stolen diaries."

Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "They're girls.  I want them to be like normal girls part of the time.  Whoever stole the diaries is helping in the kitchen tonight for KP."  He walked off again.  He had an open case he had to get back to.

Matt looked at them.  "Yes, his team has a case."  They all groaned; they hated it when Xander had to leave for cases.  They got back to it and it was good enough, for now.  "Does Dean allow you older girls to slack?"

"No, Major," they groaned in unison, getting back to work.

Dean walked in and stared.  "I know you can do better.  Do it now."  They went back to what they should be doing.  He looked at Matt.  "Sorry.  Problems?"

"Annabelle stole diaries."  He handed them over.  "Xander said she has KP tonight."

"I'll let her go early."  That got a nod.  "Thanks."

"Benny Ray was about to come in and hogtie most of them for the screaming."  He walked off smiling.

Dean looked at them.  "Most of you are old enough to be left alone for a few minutes.  Annabelle, you know better."  She pouted but nodded.  "Thank you.  Why are we slacking?"  They sighed but went back to what they should be doing.  He sat down, reading the diaries.  One of the girls caught him and gasped, snatching hers.  "One of the problems with a diary is anyone who finds it can read it."

She pouted.  "Not like I have a mom to talk to."

"If I had a wife I'd let her help.  And hey, if we could find yours we'd let you go see her.  We can't.  Those records burned.  Abby hasn't found any DNA matches either."

"I know," she sighed, going back to work with her diary tucked into her waistband.  The other girls got theirs and pouted through practice too.  "What's Xander's case?" she called.  "Can we help?"

"Looks like demonic arms dealers."

"Shoot," they muttered.  Annabelle tripped one and that girl swatted her.

"Hey!" Sam shouted as he came in.  "If she tripped you, you weren't paying attention.  Don't hit the younger girls unless they need it."  She pouted but nodded, getting back to it.

"Keep it up, I'll make sure there's no chocolate for dinner," Dean promised.  The pouts retreated.  He looked at Sam, who shrugged.  "This weekend we're doing field qualifications.  The ones who pass get onto the list for LA and/or Cleveland.  Faith could use a break and so could Crissy since she's got a broken ankle."  They nodded and the ones he tapped stayed after to get their assignments to start their research. The rest put up their diaries or went to her assigned KP.  Dean looked over at his father.  "This is the older group of non field ready ones.  The younger are in class and the field ready are in the library helping an agent look up something."

"I saw all the girls.  Why are they all activated?"

"Sunnydale and the spell Rosenburg did," Sam said grimly.  "One's seven.  She's got a good foster family."  One girl coughed.  He looked back at her.  "What's up?"

"I wasn't assigned to a field test team?"

Dean stared at her.  "You want me to be kind or blunt?"

"Blunt."  She moved further in.  "What am I doing wrong?"

"You handle big stress, like fighting and patrolling stress, sucky," Dean told her.  She slumped.

"It's not a  failing.  Not everyone should be in combat," John told her.

"We have enough girls that Xander agreed with our assessment.  You shouldn't be in a field position if your first instinct to being attacked is to cry."  She nodded, biting her bottom lip.  He tipped her chin up.  "There's a lot of other jobs," Sam told her.  "Xander's working with us and Abby to help you find one that may suit you more than a patrol position."

"So far you're good at working with the youngest group," Dean told her.  "Xander still needs someone to go talk to the girls we never found."

She smiled.  "That wouldn't be too hard."

"No, it wouldn't," Sam agreed.  "You're also great at being support personnel.  You do pretty good at the dorm mom stuff for the younger girls.  You'll find a place and do what suits your nature.  You're not Mercy, who could probably be the one I'd send with anyone going overseas to find the girls."

She nodded.  "I can understand that.  Don't I have to pass field training?"

"We're taking you on your own case.  Not with the other girls.  I'm looking for a good one to test you on," Dean told her.  "One that makes the most of your giant brain that you use.  Which is a nice touch."

She smiled.  "I like the boys just as much as they do.  Like Dawn, I'm quiet about it."

"Which is a good thing," Sam agreed.  "You don't routinely freak any of the guys out."  She laughed.   "Go eat."  She nodded, heading do that.  He looked at John.  "We're missing seventeen?"

"Seventeen," Dean agreed.  "Dawn said one had a car accident.  Four or five are in war zones.  I know he's talking to Matt this weekend about that."  He looked at his dad.  "Want to eat with us?  Our apartment has a kitchen."

"If you need to, we can eat with the girls."

"No, they'll behave."  Xander strolled in looking happier.  "Break in the case?"

"Two more senior slayers woke up earlier.  The spell is breaking down.  I won't have to do that much paperwork once we beat Giles in the head."  He grinned at the older guy.  "You're their dad if I remember right.  Are you bunking with them or with the girls?"

"I can?"

"They could use a dorm monitor and they'd try to climb in with me," Xander admitted.  "That's why I had to move."

John nodded.  "I can see how that's a problem."

"We've been having hormonal problems.  Girls fighting over guys they're crushing over, a few with ego problems among the older ones.  Please?  Just be a parent for a few days so I can learn off you?"

John nodded.  "I can do that.  Where am I bunking down?"  Xander grinned and drug them to dinner.  He nodded at the girls.  "Evening."

One frowned.  "Who're you?  New agent?"

"John Winchester.  Dean and Sammy's dad.  Xander said I'll be bunking in your building because the boys don't have a spot for me to sleep."

She shrugged.  "Watch out for the other end of the table.  They'll hit on trees."  She held up a bowl.  "Rice?"

"Let me get a plate."  He went to do that and came back, taking the rice.  He watched the girls inhale their weight in food and kept his comments inside.

Dean leaned over.  "They need it and they do it every meal.  They get mean if you try to take it away from them," he whispered.

"I'll keep that in mind."   He ate, listening to the conversation.  Yeah, the girls needed a parent.  Some of those older girls were going to get into trouble.  He looked at one then at Sammy, catching his eye then glancing back.  Sam nodded.  "Show me where my room is after dinner?"

"Sure.  It's a nice room.  Ours is pretty good too.  They set DCIS up very well."

"If we get too many more agents do you think they'll make us move off base?" one of the younger girls asked.

"I think the plan is to move you to a house on base but out of the building you're in," Sam told her.  She smiled at that.  "Xander and Wes are talking about that."  She nodded and dug in again.  He looked around.  "Xander's invisible again."

"The weapons dealers are getting his foot up their butts," Ryan called over at Sam's witty observation, smiling at them.  "He'll be back later for bedtime rituals and stuff."

"Every time you guys take Xander he comes back injured," Annabelle complained.  "Quit before you can't have him anymore.  No one else will take care of us if he's too hurt."

Ryan smiled.  "We'd help while he heals."

She shrugged.  "So?  Still not right!  He's the only parent some of us have!  Quit stealing him!"  She turned around and sulked into her dinner.  Her 'big sister' hugged her. "It's not."

"We all do what we have to so everyone's safe, Anna," she said gently.  "Even Xander and us."  She looked up at her, getting a nod back. "Honestly.  The same as some day you'll have patrol to keep people safe, Xander has to help keep people safe too.  This is his way.  Even if he is working himself into an early grave.  They need him just as much as we do."

"It still sucks.  What's going to happen when Mr. Giles and Buffy wakes up?"

Dawn leaned down.  "My sister starts down the road on her trip again and you have my permission to kick her butt.  Got it?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Good.  Faith too."  She looked at the older girls.  "Who's going to Cleveland next time?  I've got a birthday card for Wes."  One girl raised her hand.  "Make sure I give it to you?"

"Sure, Dawn."  She smiled.  "When is it?"

"Late next month."  They nodded and the younger girls decided they could make cards for the watcher that watched them on patrols.  They had only met him a few times but he was a nice guy and he protected them.  Dawn smiled at Dean.  "If we need individual sparring time, should we ask you or Matt?"

"You can ask either one, Dawn.  What's going on?"

"I'm having problems with throws.  I can't take advantage of what little weight I have.  I should be able to before I train as a field watcher."

Dean nodded.  "Then we'll work on it later."

"I took Judo I and II.  I'll work with you, Dawn."  She nodded, smiling some and digging in to finish her dessert.  "Tonight?" Sam suggested.

"Whenever.  I'm out of defense for the rest of the week so I can save energy up for the locating spell."

"Sure," he agreed.  "Tomorrow night?"

"Of course."  She put her plate into the window for it then headed out.

"She's a nice girl," John said.

"That's Buffy's little sister Dawn," Dean told him.  "A very strong witch."

"Then it's good she's training in the light to help."

"We had to do a bit of searching for teachers, but yeah," Xander said as he walked behind them, making him jump.  "Chores, ladies?"  They went to do them.  He got another plate of food and sat down.  "Danny, the arms dealers were located.  It's on your desk since it's your country.  I'll let you help figure out how to get the team in there."

"Sure, Xander."  He finished up and went with Don to check that over.  By the time the team gathered later that night they had photos for him and Mac had been helpful.  He wanted them back in New York and he'd do anything to help him with that goal.  Even if it wasn't Danny's team going but Xander's.  He had told Mac that.  He hadn't listened.

***

Dawn looked at the gathered girls later that night.  "We need to do something special for Xander, girls.  He's uber worried about Buffy and Giles waking up and getting back on their 'no normals' kick."  They all looked at her.  "So we need to show Xander that we appreciate him.  Even if he does make us do drills and stuff."

"Cards?" Annabelle suggested.

"That'd be a good start," Dawn agreed with a smile.  "Ladies?" she asked the older ones.  Who nodded that was a good idea.  "Maybe something like a welcome home party?"

"That'd be good as long as they don't take him off the plane and to the infirmary this time," one said.  That had happened on one of his cases.  Another they had airlifted him back.  A few times he came home limping. "Think Danny would let us?"

Dawn snorted and waved a hand.  "I think he'd think it was a good idea.  Xander does a lot of work around here that he doesn't have to."  They nodded, Xander was always busy but he always made time when they came to him about anything plus for their mornings and evenings.  "So, dinner and dessert or a real party with chips and music?"

"We could use a real party," one of the older girls said.  "It's nearly been a year since Sunnydale fell.  We should celebrate that."

"A 'whoo hoo, we survived a year' party?" Dawn teased.  "With a special thanks for Xander?"  They all smiled and nodded.  That'd go over well and the others would appreciate that too.  They finished up their cards and made envelopes.  One of the older girls put them together for them and it was good.  They left them with the girl going to Cleveland and headed up to baths and bedtimes.  Dawn decided to wander, running into John.  "It's been a long year."

"I bet.  How are you guys holding up?"

"We're doing pretty good.  Xander's given up most of his life to protect us."  She looked back at the building then at him.  "He's done a great job keeping us as normal as he can."

"Why is one fostered?"

"She was six.  There was a two-year age gap between her and the next oldest.  She needed a lot of work."  She led him off.  "Do not tell anyone but they ran into her original parents recently.  They told Danny and Tony but kept it from Xander."

"Why?"

"In case you didn't see, Xander's on a field team as an agent.  He takes care of our needs.  He's the guy that everyone around here goes to.  He doesn't need another worry and they solved it.  See, one of the original watchers gathered her to bring her to Sunnydale and safety way back when.  The watcher was killed and the military guys that were doing the DCIS job before the agency fully formed found her.  They had a base they were borrowing while this one was rehabed.  She and a few others they had gathered for their own safety were there and they came to Sunnydale to switch out the older girls with the ones who had made it there who couldn't fight or weren't really old enough.  Xander agreed with that idea.  Buffy didn't like it.  Xander pointed out that we didn't need a twelve-year-old in battle.  It was his idea to take all Giles' books, all the artifacts they could gather, the stuff that the watcher lady who used her last few breaths to get away from the remains of the building in England, all that stuff.  It went to the other base.  Xander escorted the girls when Buffy started to be very down on it.  The military guys wanted someone the girls knew and could trust."

"That way they wouldn't freak out," John agreed. "That's not a bad idea. You?"

"Oh yeah.  Buffy had this problem of seeing me as helpless.  Still probably will."  She grimaced then let it clear up.  "After the battle, Xander showed up in LA to evacuate any that needed medical attention or who were having shell shock from their first battle being that one.  Some hadn't even gotten into more than sparring matches with their watcher.  That being their first battle screwed a few of them forever.  Fortunately Tony found a good shrink for the base.  He helped them too.  Me too about the Buffy stuff."  She grinned.  "On the way back, we heard that the building in LA had been blown up.  The plane they were in was grounded.  Those of us at the base were attacked by the watchers too.  I got us off the base when they raided and started to kill everyone in their path to us.  Willow's spell had activated everyone who had potential, even those on the base.  Even the six-year- old."  John nodded slowly.  "So I got the girls hiding in the town by the old base while Xander got the plane free of the watchers there.  I used a portal to pull Xander to help us when he called to see if we were in trouble too.  He went Rambo on them.  They had boarded up the door to the basement we were in and had poured gas around the door.  They were stacking more things against it so we couldn't get out."  He shuddered.

"Exactly.  Xander stopped them before it was lit and got us to a supplier he knew locally who could protect us for a few hours.  The next day we got moved here.  All of us.  There were some fussing and struggles since my sister, in her *infinite* stupidity, decided that Xander was a liability because he was too normal.  She tried to tell him he was not welcome and could not help the slayers anymore.  He shot back and pointed out she didn't have anyone else at the moment and he was going to guard us.  Giles said that was fine until they got set up in Cleveland.  Since the remaining watchers decided to narrow down the field to Faith and a few others that weren't there or caught, we had three watchers left.  One Xander had going out to find the other girls.  He died of it.  Wes is sitting in Cleveland since it's our biggest hot spot.  LA has two girls patrolling together and the little one being raised there by foster parents."

"Were they bad?"  John had followed the babble well, he was proud of himself.  But it was an interesting back story and look at the young man in charge.

"We tracked the watcher's movements to try to find her family since she's so young. We tried with the rest but she was just taken at that point.  The others had been in watcher custody for a while now.  Their records were in England in the building that went boom.  We found out that either he paid to hand her over or they handed her over without a fight and the bringers got them.  We couldn't be sure which one she was.  We know he lost one on the sending to Sunnydale when he died."  John shuddered agin.  "Yeah.  Anyway, they spotted their daughter and reported her to the police.  They had let the watcher pay for her to be taken but now they wanted her back."

"There's no way even a bent system would allow that."

"We gave them what we had.  Her foster father is the father of our liaison FBI agent out there."  That got a smirk.  "Exactly.  He found out and we gave him what we had.  The judge called it unusual but we had Wes out to explain it to the judge.  He agreed her foster family were better for her and gave them total and permanent custody.  She's a happy little girl.  For a while she considered her big brother Charile's hair her pet."  He smiled.  "She's adorable. We love Cordette. Tony still has a finger painting that she made him in his desk."  That got a smile.  "So we don't need to pile things on Xander's back.  He's a great dad to us.  Even to me.  He's a good agent.  He's a pretty decent watcher, even if he is a bit tough and started out with self defense as soon as we landed at that other base. Especially for Cordette.  We just can't burden him too much or he'll snap and take a walk then come back in a few years."

"How did my sons get involved?"

She smirked meanly.  "The FBI called and said they had hunters who were wanted for credit card fraud and things."  He winced.  "Xander worked it out that they'd work with the girls instead."

"I'll thank him later.  What about you, Dawn?"

"Xander's the best big brother I've ever had.  Has been since I first met him.  Buffy's a good big sister but she's got too much on her soul.  Xander's got a lot and he feels a lot of responsibility, even when the normal guys here are hurt.  Part of the agreement for us staying here is that we'd teach the agents how to deal with the demonic."

"That makes sense."

"We thought so. The last problem will be when Giles and Buffy wake up.  If they're still on their kick."

"The fastest cure is to point out what Xander has done and tell them to learn first.  Point out time has passed and the world moved on."

"I'm going to.   She won't like me training as a watcher.  She hates to see me in trouble."

"All older siblings do," he said wisely.  "Dean hates it when Sammy's in trouble."

She grinned.  "He's only in trouble around here if a few of the girls grab him one night."  John laughed but nodded.  "They've helped a lot.  Xander had been helping the Major do our self defense lessons.  Dean stepped in to move those of us to higher levels when we were ready.  Sammy's stepped in to teach demonology so Xander didn't have to read from the books to cover the stuff he didn't know.  Giles tried to tell Xander that he'd never have qualified for watcher training because of bad grades," she said quietly.

"Education comes in many forms.  Doing the job for seven years should count against that," he said bluntly.  "He's done a good job keeping you girls together and healthy.  If he can't see that, he should go back to sleep."

"That's how I feel but every time new girls wake up we have the same issue.  He snapped at the two earlier."

"Did they learn?"

"Yeah, the ones with them told them what had happened and they settled down.  Buffy's more stubborn than that.  So is Giles about some of the right ways for things to happen.  Not all the traditions but some of the stuff."  He nodded.  "I don't know but I don't want to see Xander snap and walk off either."

"If he does, he can be stopped and helped.  Then we'll step in and make them see they're morons, Dawn."  She smiled. "Where were you heading?"

"Just for a walk.  My psychic guardian witch has been nagging me all day again and she's giving me a headache."

"Why do you have one of those?"

"I kinda went after the Powers for trying to have us all killed?" she said hesitantly.

"He spank you?"

"He came up to help me when he found out what was going on.  They considered him not worth watching and planning for.  Even though he's the one that messed up so many of their plans so they worked.  I'm not so sure Xander didn't blow up their realm at the end.  I had Sam guarding me.  He understood why.  It was a bad week and Xander had just been injured in another ascension in Seattle.  Gods, it was so bad, Mr. Winchester.  With them only caring about their balance and the only way true balance can be achieved with people is to eliminate their free will or any ability to reason or live, it had to happen.  Someone had to send up a message and I started it with Sam guarding me.  Xander woke up out of a sedated sleep and a concussion to come stop me and help me."

John nodded.  "He's got a strong soul."

She shook her head.  "No, he's doesn't."  She walked off.  "Have a better night and lock your doors.  A few will jump trees."

He watched her walk off then went back up to his room to think.  It wasn't as big of a mess as they thought.  The biggest problem was one man trying to take the place of families and over three hundred former watchers' places at once.  Plus do his own job.  Maybe he could step in for a while to help.  The boys seemed content to help for a few more months.

***

The next night John had to put down a few egos.  They were horrible.  'I'm special because I'm a slayer going on patrol' was not going to play.  So he stepped into the sparring lessons and put her onto her back, twice.

"Ooh, he likes to be on top," one girl quipped, then covered her mouth.  "Sorry.  Slipped out."  The others giggled.

John gave her a dirty look.  "I'm still grieving for my wife, young lady.  Mind on your own body, not mine."  He put the girl under him into a headlock, making her yelp in pain.  "Now what do you do?" he asked patiently.

"Struggle with my extra strength," she complained but John shifted and pinned her.  "Hey!"

"Do you think that your strength keeps you alive?" he asked her, sneering down at her. "Your training keeps you alive, the same as it does Xander, me, and my boys when we all hunt.  The same way you will be."  She went limp.  "If I can do this and I'm a normal guy, then the demons certainly can.  You passed her into field work, Dean?"

"She's ready but patrolling will help her learn the last few lessons," he said.  "She's only had a good year of training.  Her last watcher was a book guy, like Sammy is."  He walked over to look down at her.  "Yield?"

"Never," she snarled, then did something that twisted her and knocked John off her back.   She went after him again and he knocked her down again.  "How dare you!"

"Do you think the demons won't?" Dawn asked.  "Buffy ended up on her ass plenty of times.  Faith too."  The girl snarled and attacked her.  Dawn showed she had been practicing with the agents and put her down, then cuffed her.  "I think you need some alone time."  She looked around.  "Major?" she yelled.  He came jogging in.   "Her superiority complex is getting dangerous.  Got somewhere for a time out?"

"I do."  He and John picked her up and carried her off, shutting her in the spare gun vault in the armory.  Everything was locked up so she couldn't hurt anything.  No one would hear her rant and scream.  Benny Ray would let her out in half an hour.  "Where's Xander?"

"Demonic arms dealer."

"Damn it.  That means he's in New York."

"Who's his backup?"

"Wes.  Your boys."  They walked off.  "Deke, leave her.  She needs to cool down."

"I'll monitor," he agreed.

Matt and John walked back in there.  "Dean, are you or Sam in charge?"

"Me for training, Sam for research.  How do you want to do it?  Faith is going to be back tomorrow.  We have the shrink.  We can sedate her if we have to."

"Was she due to head out?"

"Next time someone needed sprung in LA."

Matt nodded.  "Let's get the shrink onto it.  If necessary he can order her sedated until Faith gets back.  Or maybe Wesley."

Dean smirked.  "He said he needs to be there.  It'll be a new girl."

"Xander doesn't need this."

"I know.  I'll see if he can come back for a while.  Dawn?"

"I can do a portal.  I'll have to push back the location spell by a day."  She looked at Matt.  "He wanted you there if he wasn't."

"I heard.  I know why."  He patted her on the back.  "Nice form for cuffing."  She smiled back.  "The rest of you break and go relax for the rest of the afternoon.  She snapped from the stress, we'll make sure you girls won't."  They trudged out, giving Dean sideways looks.  "You two take Xander out when he gets back and make him have some fun?"

"We can do that," Dean agreed.

"Thank you."  He looked at John.  "He needs more people.  He knows too and he's been looking."  He left, going to talk to Benny Ray.  "She had an 'I'm super special' snap."

"Charming," he said.  "The head shrinker?"

"I'll call."  He went to call him.  He came down to talk to her.  She was not happy and was crying in the vault but he went in to talk to her, pulling in a chair.   They shut the door but didn't seal it so they had privacy.  Matt went to talk to Danny Jackson.  "One of the girls snapped."

"Figured it was only a matter of time.  Most of them have that attitude now and then.  Xander usually breaks it by making them regret it or beating them doing something then reminding them he's normal."

"From the shouting I heard, they did.  It didn't work.  Dawn ended up cuffing her and we're borrowing the shrink in the gun vault."

"If that's what it takes," Danny agreed.  That got a nod.  "I noticed your contract was about up."

Matt nodded.  "We're all talking about that.  We'll let you know.  Xander was going to ask us to go after the missing girls."

"If you don't want it, I can ask Jack for a retrieval team.  If I remember right, he said four were in war zones."

"We'll see."  He smiled and walked off, going  to listen to the shrink work over the vault camera.  "How did Buffy get over hers?" he asked quietly.

"She had her momma and Dawn said her momma had sense and was more stubborn than them combined. But nice and sweet."  They shared a smile.  They knew a few women like that.  "Think a female agent could help?  One who had trained others?"

"I don't know.  You train agents for different reasons.  I know a lot of the girls who end up going out there come back horrified that *this* is the job they were called to do until they died."  He shrugged.  "Sometimes it takes reality to break it."

"That can get you dead, Major."

"True."  He smiled as the shrink removed the cuffs. The girl was still crying.  Then she lunged at him and they went in to intervene.  The cuffs went back on and they both got taken down to the infirmary.  The doc needed someone to check his throat.  She got given a shot and she went to sleep for a while.  "They can't all be good," he said when Tony walked in.

He nodded.  "True.  Even Faith's a bit darker than average with her upbringing."  He looked at her then at them.  "I have no idea what we'd do with her."

"Faith was in prison for a while," Dawn said as she walked in.  "She accidentally staked a human and went off the deep end.  She went totally bad girl.  This one... I don't know what her problem is.  My mother was great and I don't know how to handle those things.  I probably should in case my future charge needs it."

The nurse shook her head.  "It's not abuse.  She has no overwhelming amount of scars.  Nothing else that points at an abusive upbringing.  Some are just bad."

"Maybe Faith will have an idea then," Dawn said.  She looked in the special room then at the nurse.  "Any change?"

"Not yet.  Are we thinking it'll be soon?"

"The year anniversary of the spell is tomorrow."

"Then we'll handle it if they do."

"If Giles or my sister wakes up, call me first," she ordered.  "The last time they talked to Xander they decided he was too normal too."

"So it's an infection?" the nurse asked, looking at her.  "We can see."  She moved to check the girl over, just in case it was an infection or something like a curse.   The others left her alone.

***

Xander hung up the phone and leaned back, covering his eyes.  "Tiff went special girl and tried to kill the shrink," he announced.  "Sam said they weren't going to tell me."

"Faith, Dawn, and them can handle it," his team leader pointed out.

Ryan nudged him.  "They handled it when Faith went bad.  They can handle her."  That got a nod.  "Worry about our arrest plans."

"Got it planned," he said, pointing at his computer. They gathered around to look at it while he had a headache.  He needed to find more watchers.  He called Sam back.  "Can you get into the file on my computer and start doing a name search to see if anyone is still alive?  Thanks, Sam."  He hung up and sat up, looking at the plans.  "Don said all that block was three story walk ups.  The city's records office had that for plans.  They faxed them and I scanned them in.  That address should look like that unless they renovated when they moved in.  If so, then I'd guard this area.  They have a sub realm that they're holding weapons and money in from our sources.  That's the easiest and best place to put it for safety and stability."

"Is there a way they could be carrying it around?"

"Dawn said yes but they're not magic users and it would have to be linked to a magic user.  So unless they have one in their thrall or something it's a standing one.  I heard that they had to physically move it last time so I'm betting on physical structure holding it solid."

"How sure?" the team leader asked him.

Xander looked at him.  "They can't use it, they had to pay to have it set up."

"So it's either a slave or on something," he decided.  Xander had good ideas but he was in charge of this team.  Even if Wolfe did write the team's report and Xander did half their research for them.  They went over how to go in.  Xander's plan put him in the rear guard position.  He wasn't sure why.  "You tired?"

"I'm a target," Xander told him bluntly.  "If they know me, I probably bought something off them in the past."

"Oh.  Good to know.  They knew who you were?"  Xander nodded.  "So not totally unexpected but they could get pissed and go for you."

"So me going in last should give us a decent average of them not doing that or being able to do that."  That got a nod and the team leader switched the second and third going in.  "You need him second for the locks."  He got glared at.  "Truth.  We need him to do the locks.  Unless we're kicking it in like cavemen?"

"No, I'd rather not alert them."

"Any idea if they paid for wards?" Ryan asked.

"We can pause and check.  Dawn and Abby got the detector done finally.  It's in my pack."  The team leader snorted.  "I'm going to pause and check.  Also in case they're doing an active deal since we might have to take down more than we thought.  Remember, I have a reason to go home tonight."  That got another glare but that was worked into the plan.

***

Xander stepped off the plane last, looking at the detective hassling the boss. "Danny and Don consulted on how to get there, Detective.  It's my team's case.  We'd never send Danny on an arms dealer.  He does better with ritual cases."  He walked past him.  "Danny's at his desk today because they've got three new ones someone sent in to see if it's the same case.  Don took it so he's with him."  He grinned before getting into the van.  "Is the NYPD following us?"

"Yes," he said.  "Just in case there's humans there."

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Follow along."  He closed the van's door and settled in to check his weapons and pack.  Ryan was doing the same.  Xander handed him something.

"Just in case?" Ryan asked, looking totally serious.

"No.  You never know when the explosive tipped rounds with holy water will help if we run into something we're not expecting."

"Vision?" Ryan asked calmly.

"I don't get visions.  Now and then I get feelings."  They shared a look then the driver took them off.  "How are we getting them back to the plane?"

"FBI local office has a truck we can borrow," the team leader said.  "I was hoping we wouldn't have to."

"How else are we going to find all their suppliers?  I can hope for papers but I'm doubting it."

He nodded.  "Then we'll try to keep at least three of the head guys alive."  He didn't like it when they kept people alive but oh well.  Sometimes it had to happen.  They made it to the block and stopped around the corner, getting out in groups and walking up the street like they were visiting friends.  A gang kid spotted them but Xander stared at him so he faded into the shadows, shaking his head that he wouldn't bother them.  Xander pulled out the detector and muttered the codeword to activate it.  It light up.  "Passive alarms on the doorway," he said quietly.  "Mostly to alert that someone's on the doorstep."  That got a nod and they changed order, getting into the order of assault.  Xander looked back at the NYPD people, waving a hand for them to hold back for a minute.  He got a scowl from Taylor but oh well.  He snuck up the stairs and waited.  The door was opened by someone coming to check who was at the door.  They rushed in and got the guards.  Ryan and Xander were both aiming to wound.

The others were aiming to kill.  Xander pushed Ryan down and got one coming down the stairs, getting grazed for it.  That one fell dead.  The rest they rounded up.  Xander looked at them.  "None of the head guys."  He took Ryan to search the house.  The portal he found wasn't empty so they hadn't moved things.  The other demons hiding upstairs, he was worried about.  "DCIS!" he shouted, opening a bedroom door.  The baby in there screamed.  He kept himself from firing.  "Sit!  Now!"  She sat down, sucking her thumb.  "Where's the adults?"  She pointed.  "Stay there."  He moved on, going to the room she had pointed at.  He kicked in that door and interrupted their card game.  A few got off lucky shots.  He got hit in the vest.  Ryan got hit in the vest and creased on the shoulder.  Xander got a worse graze on his armpit.  They were all taken down and Xander tied the injured up.  "Get someone up here to carry them down."  Ryan nodded, going to do that, rubbing his chest.

Taylor came in.  "What are we doing with the girl child?"

Xander looked at him.  "There's other clans.  They should take her in."  He looked at them.  "You'd better be damn happy it was my team."  He went to look at the child, who was being scared to death by the officers.  "She's a kid, guys.  She's like a toddler."  One of the guys screamed.  He looked at him.  "I'm going to deliver her to Patrice in LA."  He settled down.  "Do you want to write her a message?"  He nodded, letting Ryan help him do that.  "Thank you."

"When are you doing that?" the team leader asked.

Xander stared at him.  "Shut up.  She's a kid.  I don't shoot things that aren't dangerous."  He backed down.  He called.  "Can I bug you?"  He smiled.  "I do.  One that needs to go to Patrice or Lorne."  He nodded.  "That'll work.  New York.  Kid.  Thanks."  He hung up and Dawn opened a portal, walking the child and note off.  Then she took her to LA.  "Then," he told the team leader.

"We're keeping them alive?" he sneered.

"Yeah.  Even in humans, arms dealing isn't a death penalty offense.  That's why we have the prison."  He called base.  "Danny, me for our team.  We have....  Ryan, count?"

"Nineteen."

"Nineteen demons that we found at the scene.  One I passed on through Dawn to Patrice in LA since it was a child.  Could, yes.  Thank you.  I can do the count and confiscation.  Thanks, Danny."  He hung up.  "All right.  Ryan, we're doing the gear count and bagging."  He nodded, moving with him.  "Danny is calling our local liaison to arrange for separate transport out.  Hold them here, question them.  Ask for Taylor if he needs any questions asked."  He went into the portal and whistled.  "This is nice.  Benny Ray will love this."

Ryan grinned.  "Weapons nut," he teased.

Xander grinned back.  "Well, yeah."  He turned and pulled his gun, shooting the thing sneaking at him to eat him.  "Guard demon."   They got to work tagging and boxing up while the others waited.

Danny Messer leaned in a few hours later and whistled.  "Benny Ray is gonna freak at this."

"Ya think?" Xander asked.  "We got transport?"

"The twelve demons are headed.  There was a rebellion?"  Ryan shook his head. "Can we move this?"

"That's what I planned," Xander agreed. They came out and Xander looked then carefully removed the portal from the doorway.  It folded into a briefcase that he locked around Ryan's wrist.  "We're a go," he said, heading out with them.  He nodded at Mac.  "Thank you for your assistance."  He got stopped.  "I heard," he said quietly.  "That's why I called it in that way."  Mac nodded.  "It'll be handled.  Jackson won't let it happen if it wasn't a revolt.  I need you to call in a report."  That got a nod.  "Thank you."  He walked off, getting into the van after Ryan.  "Okay, we good?"  Everyone nodded. "Then let's go.  I've got to spank a girl."

Danny looked at him.  "We were going to let you hear once you got back."

"Sam agreed I had to know.  Faith and Wes?"

"There.  Not happy."

Xander shrugged.  "Me either."  He leaned against the window, watching the scenery as they went past it.  The trip back on the plane was spent in hard thought.  He walked Ryan into the armory.  "If it's confiscated is it ours?"

"Danny said yes but we had to hand over or destroy anything too bad."

Xander unlocked the briefcase and pulled out the portal, putting it up carefully.  He frowned when it didn't activate.  Ryan put the crystal underneath it.  That made it activate.  He pointed.  Benny Ray walked in and moaned in pleasure. "So what do we do?"

"I'll ask.  Leave it there for now.  Make sure the money's sealed?"

"Did and have a dual count," Ryan promised.  He went to deliver that to Danny.  "We set up the portal in the armory.  Benny Ray nearly fell to his knees praying to the gun gods.  The money was crated up and sealed shut by Xander."

"Good work."  Xander strolled in.  "I got a call."

"Ryan and I were in the portal."

"That's what it said."  He nodded and Xander closed the door.  To everyone else it'd look like he was going after them for taking control of the assault, like the team leader had complained about.  In truth he was getting an in-depth account of what had happened.

***

Danny stood up at dinner, once the private announcements had been made.  "I talked to the president earlier."  They all stared at him.  "He agreed we need to hire for two new teams."  And enough people to give Ryan and Xander back theirs. "Xander, please finish knocking down that wall soon?"

"I can finish that this week after I do my reports."  That got a smile from their boss.  "The desks and computers?"

"Coming in two weeks."  He looked around.  "If we are hiring, I do want more people like
Tony, Ryan, Danny, Don.  Agents and officers who have shown that they understand that the peaceful demons need protecting.  Ones that won't do what the unfortunate people did earlier and start eliminating demons because they were prisoners without information."  Tony moaned and a few gasped.  He held up a hand.  "That is unacceptable.  If I have to run sensitivity lessons I will, people.  Am I clear?"  They nodded.  "I will be watching for further problems and they will be watched to make sure they don't go on vendetta sprees. So if you know good, reliable, flexible minded agents, have them apply through us.  I'll figure out how we're doing applications since Tony went to recruit in person."  He sat down.  "Oh, until then, Xander and Ryan are teamless.  I'll consider them partners but since both could use the time off, they can use that to do other things they have to do."

"Sure, I can help him tear down the wall," Ryan agreed, cracking up the tension in the room.   "What's this I hear about a party?"

"The girls are celebrating their first anniversary of having so many called tonight in the meeting hall.  Xander, they wanted you to come show them how to dance."

"I suck at dancing."

"So go have fun then," he told him.  Xander nodded, finishing up and heading to change clothes into something less work attire jeans and more fun jeans.  "The rest of us were invited as well.  Do remember, some of them do pinch."  That got a few more laughs and they finished up so they could go celebrate the major bust and the anniversary.

***

Xander walked in and Faith grabbed him, taking him onto the floor to dance with him.  He grinned, getting down with her bad self.  It was good to shed the stress for a night.  Sam and Dean were partying with them.  John was being a responsible dad by the buffet table.  One of the girls was in a corner already for some reason.   It was good to relax and grin again.  Faith winked, turning to grab Dean from Dawn and let her have Xander.  The other guys came in and the girls pounced them to dance with them.  Most of them would.  Some were hipper than Xander.  Tim had shown up that morning from his retraining with the witches so the girls were loving that he had rhythm.  Xander took it all in but let it go.  His girls weren't getting into trouble.  If they were, John was watching.  So he let himself fully relax all his wariness.  Everything, even his awareness of who was behind him.  He could trust most of the people in here with his life.

Somehow he ended up dancing with Sam, but that was fine with him too.  It was fun and Sam said something that made him giggle.  So it was all good.  Two of the older girls sidled up to him and slipped something into his back pocket then they went back to playing with the other guys on the floor.  The girls were having some sort of 'teasing Dean' contest but he didn't seem to mind.  Xander checked the things in his pocket when he went to get a drink, smiling at the mushy cards that said they were glad he was their head watcher; that he had sense and they loved him even if he did make them do PT outside in the winter.  He put them back into his pocket and glanced at John while he poured himself some soda.  "It's a good anniversary."

"Also partially a thank you for helping them," he told him.

"I saw the cards."  He grinned and took his soda back onto the floor to reclaim Dawn.  He had taught her everything she knew about dancing and then let the girls unwarp her so it was better than he could do.  Which was nice in a way.  It had certainly broken her crush and her mother would be proud of the good girl Dawn was turning into.

***

The nurse looking in the infirmary a few days later smiled, coming over to look at the man on the bed.  "Mr. Giles, welcome back to life."

"Where am I?"

"DCIS, sir."  She helped him sit up and got him some water while she checked him over.  "A lot of things have happened since the watchers blew your group in LA up a year and six days ago."  He gave her a horrified look.  "Relax.  Your girls are fine.  Xander made a deal to get them sheltered with us.  Wesley and he are the only watchers left so Wesley has the girls rotating on the hellmouth.  Faith's here right now for some RR and to work on a few of the horrible egos the girls have because they think being born a slayer gives them the right to be shits to others."  She went to page someone.

Faith bounced in.  "Wes thought that the spell should be wearing off since most of the guys who did it died after bombing you guys and trying the others."  She handed over a note.  "From Wes's hand."  She hopped up to sit on his bed.

He read it then looked at her.  "Who's taking care of the girls?"

"X.  He's done a kick ass job, G.  They're safe, protected, learning a lot.  Those who're old enough are doing patrols once they've got enough training.  He's gotten a few good hunters in to help train us.  The people here are wonderful to the girls.  Let them learn how to flirt and things even."  She grinned.  "He's set things up with Wes so we don't have to worry for a bit.  Plus he's trying to figure out how to uncall us before we all age out of our skills at twenty-three."

"Excuse me?  Age out?"

"We found an old journal that said the one girl called at twenty-one aged out of her powers at twenty-three and there's been other sources that said the original spell set that as a cut off date," Xander said from the doorway, arms crossed over his chest while he leaned against the doorjamb.  "Her powers disappeared a few days after her birthday.  Wes and Sam both think the evidence we have means that the girls Willow activated will age out as well.  Which is good for everyone but the one that's seven."

"She's happy, X," Faith reminded him.

"Very.  The Epps family has done a lot of good helping her be a normal girl, who has some strong gifts."  He walked in to look at him.  "The girls are in regular classes right now.  They'll be doing training later with the hunters I found to help me.  They've been doing it their whole lives and they've done a lot to help the girls.  Should you put them down in front of the girls for being normal, the girls would probably rip you apart."  He shivered at that certainty in his voice.  "Quite a few girls have decided to have crushes on them."  He shrugged. "They're teenage girls.  Fortunately they're nice about it."  He looked at Faith, nodding.  "Go ahead."  She nodded, leaving them alone.  He looked at Giles.  "Get it out now.  I have reports to do for my last case while they're in classes."

"Case?"

"I'm working with DCIS too, Giles.  That was part of the deal for them to help me shield the girls from outside harm.  That way their agents could take the same demonology lessons we give the girls and if there was an emergency they could help them.  Like the demon invasion in LA that happened about a month ago.  You missed them opening a gateway in downtown LA to let the demons through."  Giles shuddered.  "The girls we brought did good.  A few minor injuries.  No serious casualties on our side except for one gut clawed.  He's fine though and transferred to the FBI."

"How many?"

"I haven't had the chance to get anyone to go looking for the farther flung girls.  All the girls that survived the hellmouth are here.  A few we've found here and there.  I had Gunter Pertry going out to do that.  He wasn't good while he was alive but he did find a few.  I'm talking to someone about sending a strike team to get the girls in Africa if they want to come."

"Africa?"

Xander nodded.  "Willow's spell activated all the slayers under twenty-three currently in the world, Giles.  There's about fifty-eight or sixty total.  We have thirty-nine here with the ones still sleeping and those on patrol."  He waved a hand up the hall at the other beds.  "I've talked to a few people about getting them but before then I had to stop the British judicial system from letting all the dark artifacts and books all the dead watchers had stored into the open again.  Plus manage things related to the explosion.  All the insurance stuff.  Wes has been a godsend and we found a lot more of the library.  It's in with the DCIS library since we're doing the same job."

"DCIS?"

"Demon Criminal Investigative Service.  If humans go after demons or demons go after humans, they call us now.  We're a federal level agency.  You're on our base in North Dakota.  Wes has three girls on the hellmouth to do patrols, rotating them out so they all get experience and rest times.  I have two girls in LA filling in for Angel since he's across the hall."  He pointed at his bed.  "Plus the youngest one we decided should go to a foster family and we put her with our regional liaison out there.  He's an FBI agent.  His father's a great man, very kind.  She's got two great big brothers now.  Both of who are on call to us.  She considers me an uncle and they've got experience hunting people so they'll teach her that way and how to profile and those things so she'll be able to handle her own patrols.  Probably in LA.  She's seven."  He groaned.  "I've done a damn good job with me and Wes being the only ones who could do anything since the rest died, Giles.  We've found a few more hiding but they were going to wait to see if I failed and then step in.  We decided they were assholes and a few were arrested for trying to snatch the girls.  One for trying to gas the girls here on base."  He shuddered.  "Since you're up, I can let you do the admin. stuff that I hate doing.  That way I can move back to support and training while I do cases instead of doing six different jobs at once."

"We didn't want you involved Xander."

"Yeah, well, no one else, Giles."  He stared him down.  "Maybe you should see what's going on before you become an asshole again.  It's been over a year and I'm managing greatly without you."  He walked off.  "They're in the other building.  Coming?"

"Let me clean up," he stuttered, watching him go.  He let the nurse help him to the bathroom.  "Why is he so cold?" he asked.

"Because you're an asshole," she said bluntly.  "He's raised those girls, helped them train, gotten them what they need, and did before then but you were too stubborn and dumb to see it, Mr. Giles.  Even you're a normal person."

"He wouldn't qualify for training."

"You'd think seven years of doing the job would count for something," she said dryly.  He flinched at that.  "You've hurt the boy a lot.  I would watch my step.  A few of the girls have no problem with the idea of killing to protect Xander."  He nodded, going to clean up while she checked the others.  She found Angel blinking at the ceiling.  "Want some blood?"

"Please," he asked.  "Was that Harris?"

"That was Xander.  Sit up for me."  He did that, moaning a bit.  "Your injuries healed but you're probably a bit stiff from the year nap you took."  She went to get him some blood, handing it over.  "Xander said to tell you Connor is still in LA helping the two girls patrolling out there.  He's been good and the girls are good to him.  They've kept LA safe except for the invasion."  He nodded, sipping his blood.  "Too warm?"

"No, just about perfect," he admitted.  "Buffy?"

"Still sleeping.  The spell's been slowly wearing off as the magic wears out.  We're down to her and a few of the girls left."  He nodded.  "Finish up so we can put you on with your son and let him give you a sit rep.  I'll expect you'll want to head back soon."

"I probably should."  He looked at her.  "The slayers?  Xander's been good to them?"

"He's been an excellent father figure and helped them a lot.  The ones he's hired to help them have been good for them too.  Even if now and then they do get an ego problem and one decided she was too special to do anything but kill everything in sight."

"Some girls do," he agreed.

"She's confined."  He nodded, finishing his blood.  "Bathroom and showers are in the same place.  You can borrow some scrubs until I get someone to find your clothes in storage."  She helped him into the bathroom then went to make that note and call about the stored things.  Giles came out in scrubs.  "You're lucky it's summer.  You should be fine with some sandals."  She got him some and then turned him over to Faith, who walked him over to the slayer's building.

The older girls had PT outside today so Giles got to see that first.  Dean was leading the patrol ready ones in their moves.  "Ladies," Faith called.

"No interrupting, Faith.  This could save their lives some day," Dean called without looking.  "They can talk to you afterward before math."

"Okay."  She sat Giles on a bench and let him watch.  "These are the ones that we decided were ready for patrol.  They can defend themselves.  They know their demons.  They proved they could handle a field case."  He looked at her.  "We bring them on one first.  We found one that stress does bad things to so she's not on the patrol schedule.  She's taken over as mom to the young girls.  We had one go more psycho than I am.  She's confined because she tried to kill a few people here for thwarting her plans to be super special.  We're figuring out what to do with her but the DCIS shrink has been working on her too.  Has since she snapped and tried to kill him, D, and a few other girls."  He grimaced but nodded.  "She had ego problems back in Sunnydale too.  It was Tiff."  He nodded he remembered her.

She pointed.  "The redhead in the back is the next going to Cleveland.  The whole back row have been on patrol already.  A few in LA to help Morgan and Crissy.  A few to come out to help me.  Morgan's stubborn and decided she didn't need a break.  She's wrong and Xander made her take one anyway by sending her three of the bouncy girls to work with.  It let her calm back down and it helped."  She pointed at the front row.  "The group on the left side just got put onto the list.  They only passed their field case this month.  Dean and Sam generally take them out hunting with them."  She looked at him.  "They've been hunting since Dean was four.  Their Dad's here to check up on his boys so Xander's been leaning on him for parental type advice."  He nodded at that.  "Some of the girls needed it.  A few will hit on trees if they look good.  One tried to climb in with one of the agents.  We've been handling it on a case-by-case thing.  D's making a great future watcher too.  Learning a lot from the hunters and Xander, plus the agents here."

"She's not in this group?"

"Right now she's teaching languages and learning others with Danny.  The girls who didn't speak English are getting better.  We have plans to put them into a normal school this fall and then do training afterward.  Since it looks like we'll age out we all agreed that we should be able to do something beyond slay if we make it that far.  Especially with over fifty of us at D's last count."  She looked over as Danny Jackson came out.  "Giles, this is Danny Jackson.  He heads DCIS.  He's a languages person."

"Thank you for letting us help Xander help them.  They've been an asset to us when they helped stop the invasion and their training has helped the agents' training as well.  We'd have a lot more injuries if it wasn't for Xander's common sense approach to this stuff and letting us take their demonology and hunting lessons with them."

"Who's teaching demonology?"

"Xander was teaching all their lessons as best as he could.  Then we got the opportunity to recruit Sam and Dean.  They're brothers.  Sam's a research oriented one so he's been teaching that, working on the other languages issues with me, and helping them with their normal classes.  Some of the girls are very far behind educationally."

"Some watchers didn't care.  We were tools, Danny."

"I know, Faith.  We see you as slightly insane but nice."  She grinned.  "Speaking of classes....."

"GED," she said, holding up a hand.

"I can accept that choice."

"Wes made me take it since I had been studying in jail.  I passed pretty good."  He smiled at that.  "X!" she called, spotting him.  The girls all squealed and waved.

"Training now.  Squeal at Xander later," Dean said firmly.  They pouted.  He glared.  They got back to work.  "You have free time to squeal and pounce Xander."  He looked over as Xander joined him, handing him a cup of coffee.  "Thanks.  They're doing good today."

"Very since Giles is watching."  A few girls looked over then hissed at their partners and got to work harder.  "It's fine, girls.  Don't show off.  Some of you are leaving tonight for rotation."  He sipped his own coffee.  "Faith, are we sending you three or two?"

"Two.  Marion has a month left on her rotation and she's not too overloaded."  He smiled at her.  "I know she volunteered since she's sixteen but yay!"

"I agree.  Okay.  Dean, which ones are going?"

"The back row have gone.  The front group just passed."

He looked then nodded.  "Sheila, Gwen, Caridad, you're going to see Wes in Cleveland.  Caridad, I know you've went so you're going to help Wes finish their field training and yours."  She nodded.  "Wes needs a break and you might do okay as a field stand-in watcher for now.   Doll, you and Patty are hitting LA tonight."  One pouted.  "What?"

"Can't I go?"

He considered it.  "Fine.  Have Connor work on your weapons skills since you like them so much and  you've been bugging Benny Ray for weeks."

"Ooh, I forgot I had lessons this weekend."

He nodded.  "Stay until he finishes that on you then you can go."  She nodded.  He looked at Dean.  "Any nearly there?"

"No.  None near the right age either."  That got a nod.  "Two who're fifteen will be good enough by Halloween I think.  The rest are all too young or too inexperienced."

"Good enough for me.  We done?"  He nodded. "Let's break and welcome Mr. Giles back," he called.  They went to talk with him about what was going on and how good they had been doing.  He walked over.  "Caridad, do you think you can do that?  Wes said you showed the most promise of any of the girls.  He thinks after you age out you might even consider being a field watcher."

She beamed.  "I could like that."  She gave him a hug.  "Thank you, Xander.  Should I find Dawn?"

"No, he'll see her in a bit.  It's nearly lunch."  She nodded and bounced over to talk to Faith.  "You can show him the building later, girls.  Let's keep to the schedule so that means lunch.  I'm sure he's hungry."  They drug him off to help feed him.  He finished his coffee and looked at Danny.  "They're trying hard to defend me."

"I think you've done an amazing job, Xander," he said honestly.  Xander grinned a boyish grin.  One he didn't see often enough.  "Reports from you?"

"Dropped three off with the departments who sent them.  One needs a field call but Ryan volunteered since he heard Giles had woken up.  He figures we're going to have a fight."  He shrugged.  "He might be right."  He walked off, going to get his own lunch.  The others were watching the girls babble happily.  "Ladies, eat," he reminded them.  "We don't want anyone passing out."  They dug in and ate while they talked.  "With manners," he said at one.  She quit talking with her mouth open.  The younger girls ran in to join them and Dawn stopped to hug Giles before getting her plate and sitting down.  Xander sat at the end of the table with her.  "You good?"

"No.  I'm worried," she said honestly.

He nodded.  "I can see that.  You want to talk?"

"Do you?" she countered.

"Not yet."  She nodded.  "Buffy still down?"

"Yup but I checked.  Angel's up.  He can go back with the girls hitting LA.  He's getting briefed about the invasion."

"That was a mess," Xander agreed.  "Send him my way afterward so I can brief him on Wolfram and Hart."

She nodded.  "I can do that."  She looked down at Giles.  "It was his case to help take them down.  We had to get FBI help but everyone under the senior partner level is in jail for bad things if they did them.  They higher ups are hiding."

He nodded.  "Good.  I heard they were causing problems."

"A lot," Xander agreed.   Angel walked in.  "We're in a safe corner, Deadboy."  He came over to sit with them.  "I have the Wolfram and Hart case on my desk.  We got all but the senior partners.  They're hiding."

"That's good work," he said.  "So was the invasion.  Buffy would've been proud."

"It wasn't just us.  DCIS has been good to us."

"I can tell.  Good job so far."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks.  You'll be heading back with some of the girls going out to help patrol LA."  He nodded.  "I've had Morgan and Crissy there and they don't want more than temporary relief.  They've done good working with Gunn and Connor."  He smiled.  "They've kept it down.  They helped the liaison agent bust a slavery auction.  Also, we have one little one out there in foster care with our liaison agent.  She's seven.  So if you hear about Cordette that's her.  She's with the Epps."

"I'll keep that in mind.  The spell activated her?"  Xander nodded, eating a bite of lunch.  "Then I'll keep that in mind if things go near her."

"Her family's pretty well guarded.  Alan, the dad, raised our liaison agent and his genius little brother.  He's a good man and a great father.  She's happy, well adjusted, the girls consider her a little sister."

"That's fine.  I'll make sure that family's guarded for her."  Xander smiled.  "Anything else happening our way?"

"Not that we've been called on.  Don handles a lot of things.  If it's something he's not comfortable with or needs a bit of slaying he tells the girls and goes on patrol, giving us a report on what happened.  Connor and Gunn both make good field watchers and so does Don."

"Even better.  Where are they living?"

"Gunn found somewhere.  Dawn'll portal you out so you don't have to worry about flights."

He smirked.  "That'll work too."

"We found her some kick ass teachers.  Ones who do combative magic.  Ones who're so strong they have white lighters of their own.  She's even got a little bit of a ghost teacher too."

He laughed.  "I'm sure it's helpful.  She's grown into a beautiful young woman."

"Who's finally allowed to date this year," she teased.  He smiled and patted her on the shoulder.  "Do we think my sister's going to come up?"

"Probably soon.  I looked over what happened.  It looks like the spells are wearing out.  Can't you tell?"

"No, they did the magic elsewhere and linked it wherever they did it.  I couldn't trace it then and it's too faint to do now."

"That happens.  We'll get the rest up, Xander will show that the girls are doing good, and it'll be fine."

She looked at him.  "My sister's a judgmental ass sometimes."  Giles spluttered at that.  "The same as he is now and then.  We've had to help some of the girls over their problems when they woke up thanks to Buffy's and Giles' little scene before Xander evacuated the rest of us."

He nodded.  "They'll handle it.  You've both done a great job with the girls.  You're a lot like your mom, Dawn."  She smiled, sniffling a bit, but nodded.  She went to sniffle in private but one of the girls followed to let her cry on her.  He looked at Giles.  "He handled a mass invasion by a demonic plane."

"I heard that."

"He's done good."  He looked at Xander.  "Don't get too smug."

"I do too much work to be smug."

Angel smirked.  "If you say so."

"I do.  I have to go replace light bulbs tonight."

"We'll help," a few of the younger girls promised.

"Can Abby come watch movies with us tonight?" one girl asked.

"Ask her, not me.  I don't know what she's got to do tonight."  She went to call her since she wasn't down for lunch yet.  He smiled.  "One of the few female agents around here.  She explained puberty a few times too," he told Giles.  "She's nice, but a bit goth."  He went back to his lunch.

John walked in and scowled.  "I could've sworn we had classes today, girls."  They squealed and finished up, putting their plates where they needed to go before going back to classes.  He shook his head.  "You're spoiling them, Xander."  He pointed at Giles since his mouth was full.  "I saw."  He walked off to help the girls with their regular classes.  The younger set got training that afternoon.

Xander swallowed.  "Dean and Sam's dad.  He's been helping with some parental type stuff due to egos getting out of hand and girls fighting over who they're crushing on.  Those things."

"I see.  You let them date?"

"No.  Maybe the older ones once they're in normal school this fall.  Dean's even threatened to do driver's ed on us."

Giles cracked a smile.  "I wish him luck."

"A few do have the focus," Sam told him from the other end of the table.  He moved down.  "Sam Winchester, Mr. Giles."  He shook his hand.  "The girls are going over english, history, and science this afternoon.  Then the younger group has self-defense after that while the older ones have chores.  Then dinner, then free time and homework time before bed."  He looked at Xander.  "What do you think about research papers in demonology?"

"Do you want to grade them?"

Sam shook his head.  "No but I think I learned a lot having to research topics.  I think it might help the older girls."

"Then go for it.  You teach it."

"Good point."  He smiled.  "We have demonology tomorrow.  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday alternating with science."  He nodded at that.  "Though Faith was right.  A few of the girls are woefully behind their age level for education.  We're working on that and the english issue for a few of them now.  Danny Jackson has been helping with that a lot."

"It sounds like you've settled in here very well.  What about Cleveland?"

"Wesley has Cleveland," Xander reminded him.  "He's got a residence set up for him and the girls near the hellmouth.  He's worked out patrol routes and schedules.  At first we gave him Faith and then started sending girls out once we could clear them for being ready.  Now the girls rotate out of there, LA, and being on call for any DCIS case that needs a slayer.  Because there've been a few."

Giles nodded.  "He has things set up?"

"To comfortably fit six or seven girls.  He said he couldn't find anywhere bigger and he did look.  He's renting right now until he can find something huge enough to fit everyone if we all move that way.  Right now he agreed that having them here is safer for the little ones and better training than we can offer together because we have people like Major Sheppard to do the basics of self-defense with them and Benny Ray to do the armory stuff.  Plus the agents who have taught the girls a lot.  One of them teaches science on a rotating basis.  We have a lot of forensic people and a few in the RD lab.  It's let us share resources while we've been straightening out the mess in England and elsewhere. Plus it helped the agents with their training so they knew what to do about demons when they ran into them.  Harmless and not."

He nodded.  "Then it sounds like a good start but what about when we need to handle an apocalypse?"

"Giles, neither of us were for moving a bunch of kids under the age of ten to the hellmouth," he said bluntly.  "Especially not young slayers because they'd be in a lot of danger from demons coming after them to sacrifice them."  He shuddered.  "It's safer to keep the majority of the girls here, where we have wards, guards, all that.  Wes complains he has too many girls.  Cleveland just opened up and it's barely drawing vamps.  The harder patrol is LA and even they say they have enough with two main girls and maybe a backup now and then for training.  This time we've got the buddy system going so it's going to be easier.  Especially since Crissy needs some time off.  She'll be in tonight to see the doc to figure out what she did to her back."

Giles considered that.  "She's not healing?"

"I'm not going to make an injured girl go on patrol when we have spares at the moment."

"That is a good point," Angel agreed. "I wouldn't let Buffy patrol if she was injured if there were others to take her place."

"As I did many times," Xander said dryly.  "Oh, you might listen to see if anyone knows where Willow disappeared to.  She disappeared from the explosion.  She's the only one missing."

Angel nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."  He stood up.  "Can I get into that file?"

"Sure."  He walked him off to get him into it then went back to the caf.  He stepped off when he saw Giles was grilling Sam for information.  Dawn walked past him on her way to the library and gave him a hug.  "Thanks."

"If he's being a butt, I'll turn him into one," she whispered in his ear then went back to her hunting for a book.

Xander smiled, going back to his desk.  Angel looked at him  "He's grilling Sam."

"Do you think he'll change his mind?"

"Do you think I'll hand over things if he doesn't?" Xander countered.  Angel smirked.  "The judges gave me custody of those things with Wes.  I said that he could wake up and the majority of them said we could work that out ourselves if he did."

Angel nodded.  "Good luck and convince him so he can talk to Buffy when she wakes up."

"I plan on it.  I don't need that battle all at once.  It'd hurt the girls."

"Probably."  He went back to reading.  "We really arrested most of them?"

"For doing bad things, yeah."

"Good.  The senior partners we'll keep an ear out for."

"If they show up, it's a DCIS case.  Send them here.  We have a special prison for demons and those hurting demons."

"Agreed."  He shook his hand.  "Let me get my own clothes if they're found.  That way I can make sure the girls packed what they need to."

"We have a list.  Faith taught them the practical method."

"Even better.  Common sense is sometimes the best thing."  He smiled and walked off.  It looked like things were going okay in his city.  Him going back there would mean DCIS didn't have to come back as often.  He hoped.  Or maybe just for the big things.  He ran into Giles in the infirmary. "Our clothes?"  He nodded.  "You should see the tape of the invasion, Giles.  They did good."

"He only took part of the girls."

"He only needed part of the girls.  The worst injury was a claw to the stomach.  They had the agents and then the National Guard behind them."

"Xander had a bunch of the older and nearly ready ones as a standby if it went too long," the nurse assured them.  "That way he could switch out for injuries and those who were exhausted."  That got a nod.  She handed over their boxes.  "There you go.  One of the other girls has woken and I sent her up to eat then find Dawn or Faith."  They looked then nodded since it wasn't Buffy.  They'd rush off to find her if it was Buffy.

***

Xander was sitting outside the residence hall that night when Giles walked over to him.  "So?"

"They're a bit spoiled."

"So was Buffy, Giles.  I'm hoping to give them the same sort of stability Joyce gave her."

"Which you have.  They're well adjusted.  There's no battle fatigue among those who've went.  They're prepared for what's going to happen when they went.  I still do not like you in charge.  You're warped a great many things."

"For the better.  Did you call Wes?"  He nodded.  "What did he say?"

"The same thing.  He said the girls are better prepared than most new slayers when they take their first patrol.  Which is good."  He stared at him.  "You've still confiscated Watcher funds, Xander."

"We told the judges everything, Giles.  Including that you were taking a nap.  They agreed that we had to handle these things for the good of the girls."  The older man grimaced.  "They also agreed having us do this here meant that there was a smaller chance of the bad artifacts getting back into the mainstream so someone could use them again.  Things like the Judge.  Three of his parts were in the open due to deaths.  They're in the specially secure storage underneath the base.  Along with the harmful things that got sent from England by that one as she died."

He nodded.  "I can agree that's a good thing since they're doing the work.  Will they turn them over?"

"That depends on the containment system.  If one of them breaks open, it's their job to deal with it to.  By presidential order."  He stood up. "This agency has been around since a demon assassinated the president, Giles.  It took a bit to get this part done but they were moving to start full operations on the new year anyway.  The old watchers trying to kill all the girls made that more necessary.  Since then, we've done great helping with the minor demon things.  Because even with all these girls, we don't have enough to put some in every city.  I got a lot of help from them and I gave them a lot help so they'd know what to do when demons got involved in things.  It was the right thing to do.  It protected those girls.  It also helped us stop a more minor ascension in Seattle, the invasion in LA, and a few other choice problems.  Plus the less immediate ones of some spirits killing people or showing up to help their homicide investigation.  Some demons who were dealing arms.  Those sort of things."

"It's not their job."

"There's no watchers left, Giles.  Who did you want to do it?  Beyond that, the President said it was.  You can go argue with him if you want.  I can't."

"You've talked with him?"  That was shocking.  Why would the president want to talk to Xander?

"After the invasion and when he was trying to figure out who to put over the agency.   Tony and I took down the demon that was trying to assassinate him during the swearing in.  We're so good that demons come to us to complain when things happen now.  That means they trust us.  Even the harmless, shy things.  Even the ones that aren't harmless but are peaceful trust us.  And they trust the slayers more because they all learn the same things.  It doesn't matter which side starts it, our job is to stop any harmful interaction.  If that's hunting the hunters, then it is.  If it's stopping arms dealers who're buying and selling among the demon clans, it is.  If that's stopping humans who're going to pull hate crimes and enslave harmless, useful demons, it is."  He nodded, stepping back at that.  "Yes, all my cases in the last six months," he said dryly.  He looked around.  "The gym has light, George," he called.  The little shrub demon waddled that way.  "It showed up for sanctuary one day and the girls adopted it.  It's harmless and likes to sit in the sun."

"I'm sure it is."

"It also has poisoned nettles if one of the girls is attacked."

"Even better.  I do think the older girls should be moved to Cleveland so they can get used to their jobs."

"Wes said it'd overbalance the local structure.  They've only got two higher demons who cause problems and maybe six vamps a week."  Giles looked stunned.  "Sunnydale was open for how long?"  Giles groaned.  "Cleveland may get that way in a few centuries, but not right now, Giles.  They don't need the slayers there and if they were it would draw things that would want to attack them.  The city doesn't need that.  Cleveland is a city by the way, not a town.  The police department there has a clue.  A very good clue.  They've caught most of the girls out hunting and made deals with Wes about what should be happening.  They like that we haven't moved everyone there.  It'd make them nervous to have all the girls there.  If there's some sort of apocalypse that Wes needs more support for, Dawn can get us there or we can be there within three hours.  Wes hadn't even found the first apocalypse yet in a prophecy.  Mostly because we've stopped seven in the making in the last year alone.  It's nice, we know the ones who're going to try to ascend.  We've got six or eight on a watch list right now based on what they're buying and correlating that to the rituals and what type they want to become.  In most of those places we have local liaisons and they're watching over them.  One's due to finish her sixty years of prep to become a more minor higher demon next year and we don't have one there but we can guess a date and will have a team present just in case.  That way I don't have to find a weapon suddenly like last time to save my team."

"You... you faced down one on your own?"

"With my team," Xander agreed.  "I realized what it was the last night when we found his working area.  We went to get weapons and taped it even for training.  She was doing the one that it only took fifty years to build up to.  I had to fire a missile at her to get her to let go of one of us."  He wouldn't mention the nice talk with the Powers that happened after that when they told them to blow themselves.  It'd probably look bad on him and Dawn.   The shrub came back and nuzzled his leg, letting him pat a branch gently.  "Can't get in?"  It shivered.  "Hmm."  He let it into the residence building and into the elevator.  That always had light and the tree demon sighed in pleasure.  He walked back out.  "He's in the elevator.  It's got light."

Giles shook his head.  "Is that permissible by local standards?"

"We don't mind the harmless things," Ryan said as he joined them.  "The same as we've got two species of demon dogs on patrol with the guards in case someone tries the base again.  It hasn't happened in seven months but we're a bit paranoid now and then.  Xander helped us sign peace treaties with a few of the tougher clans so we wouldn't be hunted if we had to go after their people doing something wrong and they wouldn't take contracts or orders to come attack us here."  He looked at him.  "A case came open in Miami."

"Hmm.  You going?"

"I'm going to see if we can switch it to Danny's team.  When is the rest of ours showing up?"

"Tony and Danny are going through all the applications.  We've got one guy from ATF I liked.  He's quiet but there when you need him by his rep.  Benny Ray knows him.  Since we tend to get handed anything that heavy or that dangerous, we'll need the muscle."

Ryan nodded.  "I can see that.  Where is Tim sitting?"

"The first new team that comes into being.  Until then he's on Danny's team.  Ooh, that'll be painful if they go to Miami."

"It'll be fine," Ryan promised.  "They doted on Speed.  Having him back from the dead will make them dote more."

Xander gave him a hug.  "It sucked that they couldn't see you for you, Ryan.  We do."

"I know you do."  He smiled.  "Get off, goofball." Xander let him go with a grin.  "Thanks, Xander.  I needed that."  He walked inside, smiling at the plant demon.  "Having fun?"  It wobbled a few branches and hummed.  "Good.  Expect Danny's team to possibly head out tonight.  A few might be too sleepy to notice you."  He got off on his floor and went to his apartment.

Xander looked at Giles.  "I got possessed handling a ghost case in Miami by the ghost of a CSI.  Dawn sneezed and exorcized me plus made him a new body one night."  Giles moaned.  "Which is why she has some very strong, white light teachers who know combative magics and protective magics.  The ones in Devon didn't want anyone looking over their shoulders.  They sneered at her too.  She didn't need that and these are closer.  They're in California.  They can blip over to teach her in person.  Plus they've been filling in for some of the big sister stuff she's been missing.  Including nagging about her taste in skirts now and then."

He shook his head.  "They're good witches."

"The one who approached her was snotty and mean, Giles.  I don't care if she's a good witch.  The ones that took over her training are high in the hierarchy of fighting demons in their area.  They are the main force for it actually.  There's three of them.  They have a former sister that got sicced onto Dawn after that sneeze.  She's possessing her but teaching her from inside her head.  They were raised with their gifts.  They have a white lighter available if she starts to slip or her emotional control starts to slip her toward anger at some of the slayers who were picking on her at first because she's not one of them.  They're doing good for her.  I think Joyce would approve of them teaching her.  They even have two kids in the house so Dawn gets to babysit now and then.  They remind me a lot of Tara."

"I'd like to meet them."

"Talk to Dawnie."

"I shall.  Now, about the funds and things?"

"That's what banks are for, Giles," he said dryly.  "Except for the upkeep we have here, the salaries we pay Wes, the girls on active patrol, and the Winchesters we don't spend it for anything.  Their building was already here.  We do pay for their food and part of the maintenance and utility costs since the girls drive it up with movie marathons and things."  He nodded once at that.  "The rest is in the bank, being probated in a few cases, and the insurance company.  Wes hired someone whose father was a watcher to handle that and he only claims twenty percent.  Less than anyone I could find and he understands what can't get into the open.  Even with the insurance people."

Giles nodded.  "Then I'll talk to him about it.   You're doing the rest of the administrative duties?"

"Wes nominated me.  He said he'd take over field duties if I did the basics of training, which I'm better at honestly, and I worked on finding what we can that was left.  Thankfully we found the teaching center still mostly whole and Scotland Yard had stored some of the stuff they found in the building.  Again, in the library with the rest of the stuff since both teams need to use it now and then.  Danny's even learning some of the languages so we can teach some of the future agents.  That way it can be helpful to them too."

Giles smiled.  "I'll remember that."

"Danny's having the majority of the Latin books translated into English if you're going to try to move them to Cleveland too.   He'd have the rest copied somehow for their use."

"That's reasonable."

"Cleveland PD still doesn't want all the girls there.  Their city council either.  They proved their point when things came for Faith.  Including a gargantuan Fricanth."  Giles shuddered.  "Messed up traffic for days.  Came after Faith, not the hellmouth.  So she got a longer vacation and we paid to fix that street since it wasn't a hellmouth event."  He held up a hand at the shocked look.  "Wes.  Not me."

"I see."

"That was fair.  It was our rep that got the demon there and the demon destroyed things."

"I suppose a case could be made for that."

"Then go call Wes.  Here, use my phone."  He handed over his cellphone.  "Number's on speed dial."

"The girl who slipped too far?"

"Confined.  Not arrested at the moment but we do have her down in a monitored cell while the shrink works with her."  He stood up.  "She was dangerous to others.  I agreed as long as she wasn't put into general population in the prison.  Not that there's so many demons but they don't deserve her killing them for doing minor things.  We keep to the US penal code for punishments if we arrest.  It's not right to put a slayer in there when she'd kill them for things like robbery."

"I can understand that."

"The shrink is good.  He saw combat himself.  He's been helping them calm down since he got here a month and a half after the explosion in LA."  He walked off.  "Make sure I get that back tomorrow.  Night.  You can stay in their building.  John can show you where."

"I'll do that."  He sat down to call his former coworker.  "Wesley."  He listened to him tell him what was going on, how things were in Cleveland.   "You knew very well he was not fit to be a watcher."  Wesley screamed and ranted at him. That was new.  But he did hear what he was saying.  When it was the only option they had and Xander had done amazing things to hold the girls together, he was not going to turn him away.  Especially since he did have a lot of practical experience with the girls.  "The funds and artifacts?"  He listened to Wesley more calmly explain those and what was going on.  That was good at least.  The boy wasn't paying himself an exorbitant salary.  Nor paying Wesley one.  Most of the money was being saved for the girls.  Some set aside for college and the like.  Some set aside for their upkeep.  He had no idea why their food bills were so high here but they were according to Wesley.  He'd have to look that over as well.

***

Dawn was woken by her phone going off.  "W'az up?" she mumbled into it.  "Be right there."  She got up and got dressed, heading out to the infirmary.  Buffy was just starting to wake up.  "Morning."

Buffy blinked at her.  "You look funny and tired."

"That's because it's five in the morning and I'm almost seventeen," she said.  Buffy scowled, sitting up.  "The former watchers decided to take out all the extra slayers by blowing up the building in LA."  Buffy snorted.  "You've been sleeping now for a year and just about seven days."   Buffy gaped.  She nodded.  "So yeah, I'm about seventeen.  In three more weeks actually."  She hopped up onto the foot of her bed.  "Welcome to DCIS."

"The government people who came to get the younger girls?" she guessed.

"Demon Criminal Investigative Services."

"Why?"

"Because one shot the president, Buffy.  They do the same things you do only we investigate crimes no matter which side started it."

"Oh.  Okay.  Why are we here?"

"Because they took all the slayers in when the explosions happened.  The watchers went after their people too for the little girls."

"Did they take the potentials back?"

"Willow's spell activated them all, Buffy.  Everywhere.  All the ones who were born and under the age of twenty-three."  That got a wince.  "Including a six-year-old.  And no, they tried to burn us alive the way they tried to kill you guys."

She sighed.  "Let me guess, Xander's still in charge?"

Dawn gathered her temper.  "Xander nearly died protecting us that night, Buffy."  Her sister moaned.  "He's almost died a few other times to protect us.  Since the only watchers left are Wes and Giles, who only woke up earlier today, yes he's in charge.  He's done a lot of good with the girls and most of  them feel the same sort of love we got from Mom."

She laughed.  "How could he?"

Dawn sneered.  "Don't make me slap you."  Buffy leaned away from her.  "It's not that hard to give a damn," she said bluntly.  "The agents here do.  Training the girls helps their training as well.  It lets them sit in on the demonology lectures and things.  It also helps their physical training.  Their PT people have been helping the girls and Xander found a set of brothers who've been hunting demons most of their lives to finish the upper level training before the older girls go on patrol.  Wesley and Faith have Cleveland.  There's almost nothing to do out there but we have girls in LA as well.  Angel only woke up today too.  DCIS has been very good to us.  They didn't have to take us in, give us a roof to sleep under, help us feed ourselves, that stuff.  They did.  If you so much as hurt Xander because he's done an excellent job I will call Mom's spirit back and have her go after you for it.  And yes, I know how to do that now."

"Willow's giving lessons?"

"Willow disappeared about the same time the bomb went off.  I'm learning under a trio of witches who also fight demons.  That's their ordained role.  Together they're about as powerful as I am and they have a white lighter if something goes really, really wrong.   I've even got a ghostly one that helps train me when I'm here instead of with them."

"Why?  Did we goof?"

"Once.  I sneezed, took a ghost out of Xander, and gave him his own body."

"That's bad."

"No, not really.  He's a pretty nice guy.  Possessing Xander got him into a better second life.  He's an agent here now too.  He's been helping with the science classes recently."

"Science class?"

"Like you did, the other girls need to finish high school too.  There's evidence that you'll all age out of your powers at twenty-three.  Which sucks for the ten and under crowd that were called but they'll be fine."  She smiled.  "Any questions so far?"

"Are we not in Cleveland?"

"No.  The Cleveland city council and PD found out about the hellmouth and said no more than a few of us there at a time.  Because things have been drawn to the ones out there because you're slayers.  Cleveland's a pretty major city and the hellmouth's in a suburb.  They're worried about property and human damage.  So they don't want us drawing things to there by being there.  They agreed with Wes that three or four on rotating patrol would be fine.  Now and then something comes to test itself against Faith since she's senior and out there.  Only one was really bad."

"Uh-huh.  And why are we listening to politicians?"

"Because they were going to have them all locked up and put into jail for being in their city and causing trouble.  See, their PD has a clue.  They actually solve crimes."

"I see.  LA?  Since you said Angel was asleep."

"We have two girls, Connor, and Gunn out there, plus the DCIS regional liaison guy and the littlest slayer with her newly adoptive family.  We rotate out the girls and sometimes they get more, sometimes they take a day off.  It's been okay except for the invasion and we handled that pretty darn well since we didn't lose anyone."

"Invasion?"

"Yeah.  A cult in Wolfram and Hart opened a portal and let a whole demon plane out.  We had hints it was coming from the books we rescued so we were ready when it started and got there.  Some DCIS, some of the older girls who were ready for patrol.  The National Guard when they mobilized because there were over a thousand demons that poured through.  On tv in some places."  Buffy winced.  "It took us five hours but we got it cleaned up and all good again.  DCIS gets a lot of respect from that and so do the slayers.  It makes all our jobs easier."

Buffy climbed out of bed.  "Why is my hair braided?"

"Because I came in to give you bed baths every few days and did it for you?" she suggested dryly.  "Not like you could."

"Oh.  Thank you.  Bathroom?"  She pointed.  "Clothes?"

"Be a few.  They're finding them in storage.  Go shower."  She checked her watch.  "It's nearly breakfast before morning runs."  Buffy went to do that while Dawn woke Xander up.  "Buffy's up," she announced.  Then she hung up and did the same to Dean.

Buffy walked into the cafeteria an hour later.  "Girls, come on, let's go," she ordered.  "We've taken up these nice people's space for a while and we need to be in Cleveland."

A few gave Xander hesitant looks.  "Up to you who're ready for field work," he called.  "Though Wesley has about five of them there, Buffy."

"Didn't we say you weren't a watcher?"

"You realize that there's none left?" he shot back coldly.  "Get over your ass.  No one wants to listen to your special girl crap this early in the morning.  It's bad enough you infected some of the younger girls and we had to straighten out their egos.  If your mother was here she'd beat your ass for it."  Buffy huffed.  "If you want to go to Cleveland, go ahead."  A few went to stand with her, all cleared for field duty.  Buffy and Giles both looked stunned.  "The rest aren't ready yet.  They're still mastering ducking."  Buffy huffed off, Giles with her.

Dawn waved.  "Have fun.  I'm staying here."

"You're my sister."

Dawn snorted.  "Yeah, right.  The courts gave Xander custody of me, even if you woke up."  Buffy gave her a horrified look.  "Incoming ghost," she announced.  Then she chanted quietly and a ghost appeared. "Hi, Mom."  Buffy shrieked and moved to hit her but Dawn ducked and put her onto the ground.  "You can see the problem I think.  Is it pretty where you are?"

"Very pretty, dear."  She smiled.  "Let's talk somewhere out of public view, Buffy.  Shall we?"  She walked off with her daughter.  "Girls, go back to breakfast."  They went to do that.

Xander smiled.  "The duty is the duty and I get that," he assured one who was giving him fearful looks.  "We've had this fight before.  Every few years actually, thinking back."

"Xander?" Joyce's voice called.  "Come here, please?"

"Sure."  He brought his plate with him.  He was hungry and had barely sat down to eat before Buffy had charged in.  "Just got up."

"It's only six, dear, I don't mind if you eat.   Did you take over?"

"Yes.  Someone had to protect the girls."

"Did you take over back in Sunnydale?"

"No.  I took the more vulnerable ones to safety along with books, artifacts, that stuff."  He ate a bite of breakfast, letting Dawn poach off his plate.  He swallowed and looked at her.  "DCIS offered them a spot and sent the older ones they had rescued. When the thing went off, I came back to get the injured, those with post battle issues, and all that.  I had a bad feeling someone was going to try because they had so many slayers in one building and I was right.  It was the last of the watchers.  After they died for neat things like trying to burn the younger ones alive, with Dawn I might add, it left me, Wes, and another one.  So we handled it and made it up as we went along."

He ate another bite.  "I've done the best I can for those girls.  A lot of them had little education.  A lot more of them had little training.  I found a set of hunters who can teach them better fighting skills than I have and one of them is teaching the demonology lectures and some of their normal classes.  Wes agreed he'd take Faith and the patrol capable girls to Cleveland.  I set a few in LA to handle it since Angel wasn't there.  It's worked well.  Most of them are happy, well adjusted young women, like what you gave to Buffy."

Joyce nodded. "Which is good for me," she agreed.  She looked at Buffy. "You didn't learn the first time you had this problem back in high school and he saved you from the zombie trying to blow up the school while you were fighting something you decided he was too normal to handle with you.  You did it again when Riley and his pack of bad luck showed up.  He helped save your butt then too.  The boy saved your life and he's just as good as any watcher I'm sure."

"We should be in Cleveland.  That's where the hellmouth is."

"The hellmouth isn't causing much trouble," Xander told her.  "It's only been active a little over a year.  Sunnydale's was active for centuries. For the first century the Natives guarding it had no problems with demons.  I got that when they showed up and we did that bit of research for Thanksgiving.  Wesley and a few girls are actually quite bored.  The ones in LA have the harder job and they're doing wonderfully.  You should ask Angel.  He went back early last night.  Giles still has my cellphone and Morgan has hers I'm sure since she's nineteen and dating someone."  He looked at Joyce.  "By the way, the courts gave me custody of Dawn, even if Buffy woke up.  It was felt her calling might get in the way of her being there for Dawn or might leave her an orphan if she was killed during something."

"I can see the judge's point," Joyce agreed.  "I don't like it."

"Can I hit her?" Dawn asked.  "She tried her special girl crap on me too and gotta tell you, Buffy, I'm more special than you are since there's only one of me.  Since the guys here are more than happy to help me learn how to defend myself, I've been taking advantage of it."

"I agree, that's a good decision.  That way if something happens on a date or something comes at you because of Buffy or your skills, you can handle it until someone else comes to help," Joyce agreed.  Buffy gave her a horrified look.  "Not like she's not going to be doing normal girl things, Buffy.  She's going to be dating soon.  She's nearly seventeen and you weren't a virgin around her age."

"The head of DCIS and I agreed that the girls needed some more normal time each day so we're sending them to the town's school this fall," Xander told her.  "That way if we're right and they do age out of their skills at twenty-three, they've got time to go to college, get a life, all that.  For those who want to hold off college, they can do that as well.  There's only a few in that age range and none who graduated high school yet.  Faith did get her GED.  She was studying in jail."

"I'm proud of the girl," Joyce promised with a smile.  "Xander, you've done an excellent job."

"Thank you.  It's nice to hear."  He glanced at Buffy then back at her.  "I'd hand it over to Giles if I wasn't sure he'd screw up all the hard work I put into the girls.  He's already hurt them yesterday and today your daughter did it.  They don't need that.  If Giles wants to take over admin. duties that's acceptable to me but I don't want to hear one single bitch or complaint about how I got those girls safe, fed, sheltered, or any of it."

"No, he shouldn't.  You did a lot for those girls.  You gave up a lot for those girls.  You nearly died from what I've seen.  Twice now."  Xander shrugged.  They gaped at him.  Including Dawn.  "During the head injury, the Powers were trying, dear.  By the way, I'm a bit upset."

"Sorry, Mommy, but had to be done."

"No, that was Summers stubbornness and attitude, Dawn."  Her daughter wilted.  "I do like your teachers.  They're good.  Everyone on this side said they're good.  I especially like that you have a ghost who can guide you if they're not around and you get into trouble."  She looked at Xander.  "The other, that cut you never got looked at until John made you that night, had poison in it."

"I know, I took the anti-venom," Xander promised. "Any idea where Willow is or if we're right about the aging stuff?"

"As far as I know the aging stuff is right, but I haven't asked.  Willow?  She's somewhere in LA but I think she's in the wrong form.  She might be a ghost but she's tied to Spike."  Buffy groaned.  "Angel will find her in a few months I'm sure.  Spike won't pass up a chance to taunt him since the Powers brought him back.  Dawn can separate them or whatever."  She smiled.  "You could use less work.  It's killing you, Xander."  She stroked a hand over his head.  "Ooh, shields.  Finally.  I'm proud."

"Her teachers."

Giles gaped.  "They managed to impose some?"

"Yeah, she found out I don't have Dawn and Tara magic, I have more void and that sort of magic tainting me.  She used that."  He shrugged.  "It works.  I haven't been possessed since they got Tim out of me."  He grinned.  "It's kinda nice.  I can hear myself think."  He looked at Joyce.  "Should I turn over the admin. duties to him?  He won't ruin the girls, hurt them, any of that?"

"I think a good, swift kick is all he'll need, Xander.  It worked in the past when they got on this kick.  Like in high school."

"They never really got off that kick," he pointed out.  "I was useful."

"You're more than useful.  The First Slayer spell would not have went without you.  Willow would have destroyed everyone without you."  Giles winced at that reminder.  "You did a lot, Xander.  Quit putting yourself down."

"How can I not when I have them to push me down when I try to get back up?" he said bitterly.

"I know.  We'll figure it out.  Buffy, you could call."  She did that so she looked at Giles.  "I'm very disappointed Rupert."  A glowing woman appeared.  "Oh, hello.  Nice to meet you in person, Paige."

"Hi.   Um...."

"Joyce, their mother," Xander explained.  "Buffy woke up and tried to get all the slayers to Cleveland."

"Which would draw more evil there," Paige said.  "Having five there draws a lot of evil there.  We have you guys so warded here it's safe.  Having five of them in LA right now with Angel is drawing problems too but they've got it handled."

"They need help?" Xander asked.

"Nah.  Crissy's back will be fine.  She popped it.  She'll be in anyway.  Angel went to meet Cordette and she was very polite from what we heard and saw.  Leo went to check when Dawn told us."  She looked at Dawn.  "You're in deep for calling her back."

"It's like a seance?"

"No, it's not."  She grinned.  "You're in deep."

"Ooops.  I meant to only call her back to talk to her this time because Buffy was being a bitch and needed a swift kick."

Paige swatted her on the head.  "We'll work on letting her go back to her rest in a few hours.  Let her say what needs to be said now.  Oh, Xander that one's sending psychic shocks through the system again.  We think she's back on her suicidal kick."

Xander opened the door.  "Someone go check on Tiff please?  They said she's turning suicidal again!  Thank you!"   He closed the door.  "There, how's that?"

"That's actually good.  You know, boot camp and other situations have been known to cure those sort of attitudes," she said with a grin.

"You want me to send her to loud scientist guy and the hotty air force colonel?" he asked with a grimace.  "I don't think she could handle it."

"I think you'll find she'll thrive in a structure like that.  It'll give her boundaries.  Her skills will be in good use until they fade sometime in the twenty-third year.  I also think they could use the help and attitude she has."

"I'll suggest it to Danny.  He worked on their project."

"Good."  She beamed then at Joyce.  "So, how's your afterlife?"

"Not too bad so far.  Dawn is growing into an exceptional woman with sense most of the time.  Buffy's trying to finish growing up.  Now and then she backslides into a petulant toddler."  Buffy scowled.  "You are.  You even pout like one."  Xander stood up.  "You sit."

"I was going to put my plate away like a good boy."

"Fine.  Come back here."

"Yes, ma'am.  Coffee anyone?  Paige?"

"Please.  It's even earlier on our coast."  She smiled.  "If he didn't have bad taste in girls, I'd hit on him.  He's adorable, smart, funny, and talented in many areas."

Dawn nodded.  "That's why I had my crush."

Paige smiled.  "It's a good first crush.  You handled that well, Dawn."  She beamed.  "You're still in trouble though and Phoebe wants to talk to you when we're done."

"Yes, Paige."

"Good girl."  She patted her on the back.  "Get chairs?"  Dawn went to get chairs.  Paige hauled off and slapped Buffy.  "The most special person in the world is one who gives a damn when they don't have to and does it anyway," she told her.  "Otherwise you would still be dead."  Buffy slumped but nodded, hanging up.  "Good.  Now that we've got that settled.  Do you need me, Mrs. Summers?"

"No, dear.  Dawn can bring me when she comes up to be spanked."

"That's fine then.  I can hear the nephew fussing so I'll go handle that."  She disappeared.

"You know, if one of the top hitters on the Elder's side, the ones who are ordained to vanquish demons and the be the light posts on the path of the light, say you're an asshole, I'm going to agree with her," Xander said as he came back in with a few of the chairs.  He helped Dawn arrange them then sat down.  "Okay.  Giles, do you want to start taking over the bookkeeping duties Wes does or would you rather start with the copying book project? That'll be a mostly painless way of moving up into admin. control and won't give the girls too many problems."

"I..."  He swallowed.  "How about we look at what we need to bring with us since there doesn't seem to be a need to move the girls right now."

"We might have to move them to their own building on the other side of campus," Xander admitted.  "They're running out of space if more new agents come in unless they're married.  Their building could be converted into about seven new apartments for singles."

Giles nodded. "I can see how that would be practical.  We'd want to keep them on the base here?"

"It's warded, protected, and safer."

Giles sighed.  "Then it sounds like we should."

"Danny and I were talking about how.  We've figured out a spot if we have to move them. What's left is deciding building styles and that stuff.  If we should move the classrooms or not since we do have some open space in this building and they're going to normal school this fall."

He smiled.  "That's a good working solution to that.  How many will be held back?"

"All but Dawn and two others.  Mostly about a year.  Two or three are going to be held back farther.  One of them due to language issues.  The other two could barely read and we're working on it.  We're thinking about keeping them out another year but they wanted to go, even if they will be in a lower grade."

"I see.  You let them know?"

"I don't make major decisions for the group without telling them, Giles.  It's not fair to them."

He smiled.  "That's also reasonable.  I do like that.  Is that John chap staying on?"

"Up to him. I gave him that option since I was having a lot of problems that I thought could be cured by a real parent being available more often than I was since I have casework, have to be out of town sometimes, we still have to find the remaining girls, and figure out if we have potentials or new ones coming up, that stuff."

"We have potentials," Dawn said happily.  "I do not know if they'll be activated at a later date but Phoebe and Leo helped me put a guardian spell on one near them that'll let one of us or them know if she's activated somehow.  Their mother knew my teachers so we got permission," she said when Buffy looked at her.

"What about trouble spots?" Buffy asked.

"The Slayers Council handles things and we work hand-in-hand with DCIS to handle some other things," Xander said.  "Yes, I changed the name so that future generations wouldn't turn into Travers.  We're now the International Slayers Council."

Giles nodded.  "That might work."

"We do need to hire more field watchers.  I was thinking that a few of the girls as they aged out or some of the agents who wanted to retire fully or who had to retire fully might like that sort of job since they're already partially trained and the ones here have worked with the girls in the past.  Wesley said Caridad is an exceptional candidate."

Buffy shrugged.  "They might make a good one and they mostly sound ...decent."

"Most of them are.  We've had about six problematic, 'kill them all' sorts but they've been fired," Dawn told her.  "Some on Xander's team."

"That's good then," Joyce agreed.  "Keeps down the problems."

"We will not turn into a hunting team," Xander assured her. "Danny and I agreed on this.  Tony and the president too."

"Even better.  You need someone to handle it when things happen between the two worlds.  Or when slayers go rogue.  You would've handled Faith if they were around?" she asked Xander.  He nodded.  "How?"

"Most likely the same way we are Tiff.  We're kinda making it up as we go along at the moment.  New problems crop up, we deal with it."

"Which is all any human can do," Giles agreed.  "Do you think they would consent?"

"I think it'd matter what was going on at that time and where they wanted to be."

"Then I'll keep that option in mind."

"Caridad has the makings of a good watcher.  That's why I sent her as extra backup to Wes.  So he can work on that with her.  She does very good with some of the younger kids and I'm not naive enough to think that Wes can't die."

"I do like the big sister program we have for the girls," Dawn told him.  "It helps and give the younger ones someone to talk to when they're confused about stuff or having girl issues or stuff like that.  Abby helps too."  Xander smiled.  "She's helped me a lot."

"She has," Xander agreed.  "She's the one who gives all the girl talks," he told Buffy.  "Takes the girls for their first exams in the infirmary so they can go on the pill to take away their periods.  All that.  She even helps when the girls get horny and try to jump the agents or the Winchesters."

"She sounds like a nice girl," Joyce said.

"She's head of the labs and RD upstairs," Dawn told her.  Joyce looked up then giggled.  "Pigtails and all, but Abby's a cool, neat woman, Mommy.  She's a great big sister sort."

Joyce smiled.  "She seems sweet."  She looked at Xander.  "If you had to choose which are you going to choose?"

"The girls need me," he said bluntly.  "DCIS needs agents.  They need me because they trust me, they know I'll protect them, they know I'm a big brother to them."

She nodded.  "Then how about you take over the support duties?  Plus the little ones' training.  What you're doing now without the worries about the girls who are somewhere else, the future, all the research duties, all that?"

"I can see doing that," Xander agreed.  "It's most of what I do anyway.  I don't have time to worry about the other stuff except for now and then.  I couldn't find anyone to handle it for me while Giles was asleep."

"Good."  She smiled at Giles.  "Would that work for you?"  He nodded.  "Excellent.  Buffy?"  Her oldest daughter looked at her.  "If you want to switch off with Faith or take over one of the spots in LA, that is up to you.  You're an adult, you can make those decisions.  Do be aware that those girls look up to you like you're an icon.  Faith as well.  She's become an exceptional slayer because she knows the girls are watching what she does."

"She even swears less now and then," Dawn agreed.

"I can do that," Buffy said, straightening up again.  "Do we need to move me somewhere?"

"I'd almost rather someone who could handle combat and rough terrain go out to find the missing girls with a strike team," Xander said.  "I don't think you could handle that but Faith might.  I was going to ask the Major's opinion on that soon.  I've had to put that talk off due to problems.  We have one girl who can't handle stress that can handle part of the search duties but I don't want to send her out alone."

"That's not a bad idea.  Is he of that sort of service?" Giles asked.

"He was on a 'we don't know you but we use you' team for removals, handling things, all that," Xander told him.  "I figured if his team couldn't when they retired from here, he'd know someone who could or who could go now.  Sending a slayer with them to explain things and help a few of the girls who are in bad places would be for the best.  Some we can just send someone to talk to them.  Some are in Africa in one of the warzones."  Giles winced.  "There's three on that continent.  Two are in pretty calm areas from what the news says.  One's not.  She's in Sudan.  We need to get her and the one in the middle of Iraq out of there, Giles.  Soon.  That's why I was going to talk to him this weekend.  I was hoping he'd have an idea about the immigration stuff too."

"The Council has things set up for such cases," Giles told him.  "We can revive them."  Xander grinned at that and nodded a bit.  "I'll meet with him with you?"

"Thar's fine.  Most of his team is local with us right now.  One's our arms master."

"Well, they certainly sound competent then."  He looked at Joyce.  "Any other suggestions?"

"Lighten up, Giles.  Before you turn into Travers."  He spluttered.  "You're heading for the same stiff, uptight, ready to have a heart attack personality as he had."

"I'll try," he promised.

"Good."   She smiled.  "Now, someone has to tell the girls what's going on."

"It should come from me," Xander told her.

"That's doable," Giles agreed.  "Buffy?"

"Should I take some with me?"

"Take LA or go find the other girls," Xander told her.  "The easy to find ones.  You can do that and traveling is good for you.  Gives you a vacation. You and Faith can switch off."

"Sure," she agreed, smiling at him.  "Do I get to check on the older girls too?"

"Sure.  We get them up to hunters' standards and then let Wes finish off what we can't."

"None of you are slayers; you can't really train since you don't have their reflexes," Dawn told him.

Xander nodded.  "I know that.  Dean's better though.  He's damn good, Giles.  We're shielding him from the FBI because they were roaming hunters. There were a few demons who people thought were humans and the like so they were going to charge them with killing them."

"Any other sins?"

"They had to fund it by some credit card fraud now and then."

"I suppose that does happen," Giles sighed.

"They're not teaching the girls that, Giles.  They were on the road all the time since Dean was four.  They're not independently wealthy."

"Anything on my holdings?"

"The guy in England is handling that for you.  You can check on him.  I wasn't sure he was too straight.  Wes decided he was expedient."

"I'll definitely start there.  Food bills are that much?"

"Have you noticed how much a slayer eats?" Xander countered.  He shuddered.  "Times three meals a day times all the girls.  Then there's their upkeep payments so they can replace clothes.  They taught them to sneak past the guards so they could go shopping in town without us."

"We can handle that," Buffy promised.  "Anything dangerous in town?"

"One werewolf who bought blood and infected himself.  He doesn't always lock himself up but the sheriff has a tranq gun as soon as he's found."  She nodded.  "Let's go talk to the girls.  They're probably worried."  He led the way to the training building.

"Is that a shrub demon?" Buffy asked.

"It came for sanctuary and the younger crew adopted him; his name's George," Dawn told her.  Buffy giggled.  She walked in first.  "Announcement time!  Let's head here, please?" she called.  The girls piled out of their rooms and the classrooms, plus Dean and Sam from the tv room and John from the back.  "Good."  She got out of the way and sat down.

"Since Dawn earned a verbal spanking by her teachers for calling back their mom, we let her work some things out for us," Xander said.  "Giles is going to be over finding the missing girls, dealing with the research stuff that has to be done, and the admin. paperwork stuff like the checkbook.  I'm still over the rest.  All the training comes out of my mouth and through the Major or Dean.  All the support stuff.  I'm still all you girls' big brother.  Got it?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Now, Buffy and Faith are going to be switching off leads for hot spots and finding the missing ones.  Yes, Faith, that means you can go to Germany and have real beer.  We'll let Europe beg to open DCIS branches of their own that way."  She cackled.  "It also means she can handle LA now and then too or if we open another hot spot for some reason.  Okay?"  They all nodded.  "Any questions?"

Dean raised his hand.  "We still have a job?"

"Yes," Giles said.  "Xander said you're better suited to the advanced training than he is.  I've heard nothing but praise for Sam's teaching and research.  You're both very valuable to us."  He looked at Xander.  "You don't take a salary?"

"So?  You would've complained more."  He shrugged.  He looked at them.  "John too if he wants one.  We could use some more parents around here."

John laughed.  "Now and then I'll stop in to help, kid.  I've still got one I've got to hunt with the boys."

"Found it in the library.  Know how to summon it and kill it," Sam announced.  "We can use the same rock Dawn did to do her thing."  John smiled at him, giving him a proud look and a nod.  "Works best probably this winter though."

"We can do that."  He looked at Xander.  "You guys are handling a lot of cases that hunters used to."

"A demon assassinated that president," Xander said honestly.  "He did it because of the Initiative mess.  This is their way of making sure it doesn't happen again and someone's handling it so it doesn't get out of hand like Sunnydale did before Buffy got there."

"They're not doing a bad job.  Most of us were getting older.  Some of them might consent to fill in on the field watcher issue."

"I'd have to interview," Giles said.  "We only want the best for the girls."

John nodded.  "I can pass that onto a few friends I trusted when my boys were little."

"That would be acceptable," Giles said with a smile.

"I'm going to hate working with you," John decided.  "You're a bit uptight, Giles."

"It's a British thing, like tea," Buffy told him.  "You get used to it.  We did."  Everyone else laughed.  "Faith, do you want me in Cleveland overseeing or out finding girls?"

"I like Cleveland.  It's low stress right now.  Last month we had four vamps total."  Buffy moaned, mouth slightly open in shock.

"Wait until the winter since they have winters like here," Dean said happily.

"Oooh," she said with a wince.  "B can do that.  I look sucky in snow shoes."

Buffy shrugged.  "I'll learn how to use them if I have to."  John gave her an odd look.  "I was born and raised in LA."

He shook his head.  "Dress for warmth, Buffy.  It'll be cold, wet, and nasty when you fall in the snow."

"Yes it is," Xander agreed, cracking people up.  "I slipped plenty of times this winter."  He looked at Dean then at John.  "Dean said someone had to give the girls driving lessons."

John shuddered.  "I made it through Dean and Sammy."

"The local school only has driver's ed once a year," Xander told him.  "And we have no idea who's going to be too scattered to drive.  Danny did say we could use a company car to do it."

John shrugged.  "I'll think about it.  It's more nerve wracking than watching Mary give birth to Sammy."

"We do have some good news from Dawn," Xander said.  "Speaking of babies.  They're potentials instead of called slayers."  That got some cheering and hugging.  "So we're back on the system.  Joyce and Paige both thought you will age out sometime when you're twenty-three or so."  That got more cheering.  "So yes, you have to graduate high school!"  They groaned.  "Tough shit," he said with a grin.

"Hey, school shopping," Dawn offered.  That got some smiles and talking.  She looked at Sam.  "Oh Great Educational One, when are we taking our exams to see where we fit?"

"Next week.  Wednesday afternoon.  They're coming up here with them."  That got nods and the girls settled down.  "Then school shopping once we have the forbidden list."

"Some of those are pretty tight," Dean agreed.  "I remember one had only clear backpacks and things.  They're all no weapons, not even a stake."

"Oh, no, the local school knows," Xander told him.  "The principal came up after the invasion and bluntly asked me if those were some of his future students he had seen on the tv.  We have worked it out that there will be one single gear locker in the office in case of emergencies.  It will have *one* gun, a few stakes, *one* crossbow, and a few knives.  Benny Ray's already got it packed and down there so they can use it if something happens."

"That's not a bad compromise," John told him.  "Safe but still safe for the other kids."

"The school doesn't have any really horrible bullies.  Some of the lower years in junior high now and then but nothing bad.  They have asked if the girls are picked on they do not harm the bullies more than necessary.  Nothing that would require paramedics if you can please."  That got some nods from the girls.  "Good."  He looked at Giles.  "Everything you'll want to look at is in my desk in my apartment."  Dawn held up a hand and muttered, bringing it to her.  "Even better, less walking."  She handed it to Giles with a grin.  "You, do something."  She pouted but sent herself to Paige and them with Joyce.  He looked at the others.  "Your free day is next week."  They groaned but walked off.  He stopped John and Dean. "Do you want to chaperone at the zoo or at the small regional amusement park that has about fifteen rides?"

"Amusement park," Dean said.  "The girls deserve it.  We can do the zoo sometime soon."

John nodded.  "Shouldn't be too hard."  Xander nodded and let them go.

"No movies locally?" Buffy asked.

"Tony's movie collection.  Small theater in town that's only open on the weekends.  There's an older, regional amusement park about sixty miles away.  They're getting to go play their free day next week."

"Sure, that's a good thing," Buffy agreed.  "I can chaperone if I'm here."

"Sure."  He walked off.  "I'm at my desk, guys.  Call if you need me."  He walked over there and found Tony pacing.  "Bad case?"

"Worried about things," he said.  "How did it go?"

"Joyce made him see reason and Buffy too.  He's taking over the money stuff, the finding the other girls stuff, and heading over research.  I'm doing support and training."  Tony smiled.  "And I still have to change light bulbs tonight."

"Danny was mean and got us maintenance guys, Xander."

"Wow.  Really?  I might start to feel unappreciated."  He pouted. "You still love me, right?"

"Of course I do.  You get my movies back from the girls."  Xander grinned.  "So they can change light bulbs."

"One less thing on my list.  Hey, that means I only have three jobs."

"Yup, you do," Tony agreed.  "Also Danny was looking at the budget.  I didn't pay you?"  Xander shook his head.  "That's really wrong, Xander."

"I have most everything I need here."

"I don't care.  That's still really wrong.  Suck it up."  Xander hugged him.  "I love you.  Get off?"  Xander got off and gave him a goofy grin before going to work at his desk.  "How were you getting shampoo and things before?"

"I snuck ten bucks from the Council's funds and stocked up."

Tony shook his head.  He even walked off shaking his head.  Sometimes Xander made no sense.

Buffy smiled when she met him in the hall.  "Xander gives us all that look sometimes."

Dawn glared at her.  She was newly back.  "What did he do?"

"Did you know he wasn't getting paid?"

Dawn frowned.  "Really?  Huh."  She considered it.  "You're right.  He hasn't bought anything since he borrowed ten bucks from the second slayer shopping trip to buy shampoo and soap."

"I can't believe he took all of you shopping."

"We outgrew stuff."

"I guess you did.  You're getting tall."  Dawn looked at her but Tony gave her head a nudge so she walked off instead.  "She was upset by that?"

"She'll be seventeen next month," he reminded her.  She slumped.  "She's supposed to be tall.  You should see her self-defense class.  She's one of the best students we've got."

Buffy looked at him.  "Xander let her?"

"Xander insisted to protect her."

"I guess.  But she shouldn't have to."

"No one should have to, Buffy, but they do happen," he said dryly.

"Oh, yeah, I guess."  She frowned and walked off.  "Thanks.  Cafeteria?"  He pointed.  She went to browse and see if they had snacks.  One of the girls swore they did and she hadn't had breakfast.  The cook saw her and handed her a full plate a minute later.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She watched her go sit down and eat.  That girl needed to finish thinking and then go make apologies.  That went better over food.  Xander would be coming in for a muffin in a few minutes.

***

John watched Buffy watch the girls.  "No exceptions to training time," he ordered quietly.  She glared at him.  "Tough.  Go.  Now."  She sulked all the way out to the area Dean was running the senior practice.  Dean decided to test her.  She was good.  She had moves the other girls didn't.  Some fancy, some not.  Dean was managing to avoid most of the hits but that was his style.  Then he got her with one classic punch and she went down.  The girls giggled.  "Yes, even the best of you can still be beaten if you don't stay in practice, stay focused during a fight, and don't count on anything to appear during it," John said, coming out there.  "After all, the shrub demon could have tripped her."  He pointed at where it had waddled over to help the fight.  The thing liked Dean for some reason.  It was almost funny how it'd sun itself near Dean whenever he was outside.  "If Dean had been a demon, another one could've jumped in."

"Had that happen many times," Buffy agreed.  "You're fighting a vamp and another one shows up.  Or you're holding your stake too tight and it squishes and turns into splinters."  Dean helped her up.  "Thank you."  She looked at the girls.  "I've been fighting two or three vamps and had another three jump in because they said it looked like fun."  They all gaped at her.  She shrugged.  "I was more amusing when I was your age.  Now, I'm just really tired."

"One more year," one of the girls soothed, giving her a hug.  "Were you going all out with him?"  She nodded.  "We don't because we could hurt Dean and then Sam would get mad and sulk at us."  John walked off snickering at that.  "But we do spar against each other at least three days a week going all out."

"Let's do that," Dean agreed.  The girls got their usual partners and went at it.  "Last one standing gets ice cream," he shouted.  "The rest have to eat whatever's at dinner."  The girls hooted and really went for it now.

Buffy stared.  "Wow."

"I know.  It's not the fancy stuff you do but it gets things done."

She nodded. "I guess it does."  Faith came out.  "Joining in?"

"I do whenever I'm here."  She pounced Buffy with a wicked smirk.  Buffy grinned back and kept going.  It was really on between them.  After about ten minutes Faith looked at her.  "Having graduation flashbacks?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Definitely, only we're not fighting over a guy this time."  She frowned but let it clear up and got the girl that tried to pounce her to help Buffy.  "Sneaky, Amber, I like that."  She used Amber to get in Buffy's way then drove Buffy back.  George the bush got her with some of his nettles.  Buffy yelped.  Faith giggled.   "Sorry, B, but hey.  He likes the girls."

"I'm sure he does."

"You two hold up.  George has poison," Dean called.  "Take her to the infirmary, Faith."

"Yes, Dean."  She smirked all the way down there.  "George got protective during practice and got her," she reported to Danny since he was walking out.

"He got me once for blocking his sun for too long."  She smiled and let Faith drag her down there.  He shook his head, stopping to pet the bush.  "It was practice, George.  She wasn't going to hurt your girls."  He straightened up, hearing John laughing.  "He's very protective of some of them and his sunny spot."  He got out of the way of the sun and walked on.  "Where's Xander?"

"Last I knew doing your work," Dean told him.

"So, probably the library with Sammy then," he said, going back inside to find him.  Sure enough, in the armory.  "Xander?"  He looked over.  "Weapon petting break?"

"Talking with them about the girls who aren't here."

"Ah.  I thought Giles was handling that."

"He is but I'm going over options and ideas.  Plus if they go, that'll mean one of us has to take over the armory and I know most of the things in here.  So Benny Ray can teach me in case they get called off to rescue someone."

"It's not a bad idea to have a backup in case we get sick or decide not to renew," Benny Ray said.  "Besides, he needed the weapon petting time after this morning."

"She's straightened out," Danny reminded him.  "The little bush demon just got her during sparring practice."

Xander grinned.  "He's very protective of some of the girls."

"And Dean," Benny Ray added.  Xander nodded, cracking Danny up.  "Boss, about this portal and the weapons in there.  Did we confiscate it and the money?"  Danny nodded. "Shouldn't we be letting ATF have the really big stuff?"

"Sometimes I need it," Xander said.  "That's how I stopped the ascension in Seattle."

"There was an ascension in Seattle?" Buffy said as she came in, giving him a horrified look.

"There was.  Xander saved his team by buying an illegal weapon off the black market up there and blowing the demon from the throat out because it was trying to eat a teammate," Benny Ray told her.  She gaped at Xander, who nodded.  "They came back pretty banged up because they didn't know it had been one until the night before.  Thought it was a bunch of sacrifices."

Buffy shuddered.  "Smaller than ours?"

"Remember how we found out there were multiple ways to get there and the mayor chose the hardest so he could become that big?"  She nodded.  "We had the one that was for the fifty-foot class."

"Ewww."

"Yes it was.  The concussion and bruised ribs weren't fun either."

"No, they usually aren't," she sighed.  "Are these slayer weapons or agent weapons?"

"Whoever needs 'em weapons," Xander told her.  He looked at Danny.  "Do you want us to sort out what we probably won't ever have to use, short of another invasion?"

"Go ahead.  We can call ATF to pick them up and destroy them."  He looked at Buffy.  "Benny Ray was a Marine."

"Once a Marine, always a Marine," he shot back dryly.

"Okay, he's not on active duty and he's a retired Marine," Danny amended, getting a grin from the Southerner.  "Tony found him to be our arms master and he works with Major Sheppard, who does the self-defense training for the youngest girls before Dean gets them and everyone else around here."

"Wow."

"Very," Benny Ray agreed.  "Now we're sorting evidence from a bust a few months back.  They had it in the portal."  He nodded at the hanging sheet.

She looked inside then whimpered.  "I need those."

"No, you don't need those," Xander told her.  "If we need those, there'd better be another ascension or invasion."  He looked at Benny Ray.  "Above what class?"

"Anything that'll take out the base if it goes up?" he suggested.  "Keep it to what'll fit in the storage area?"

Xander considered it.  "Want a broad range in that class or just the same thing repeatedly?"

"Broad range."  Danny nodded.  They went to do that, letting Buffy haul the money over for them since she had super strength.  Do her good to do some work today too.  They finished picking weapons that they had to have, even though Xander was petting something.  "Fine," he agreed.  They carried those things over to the storage closet and stacked them neatly, letting Buffy write out cards for them.  Then the rest got sent to ATF.

***

Xander walked into the LA ATF office the next morning and pulled out the portal, unfolding it and hanging it up over a closet doorway.  Then he put the crystal underneath and pulled an agent inside since he was staring.

"Holy shit!" he shouted.

It brought other agents.

Xander came out with a grin.  "We confiscated this during a raid on some arms dealing demons a few months back in New York.  Just gotten around to sorting it out.  This is what we confiscated, minus what we kept in storage, just in case of another invasion scenario.  We didn't want to overload the North Dakota office."  Then he grinned sweetly.

"Do we think or know it will happen?" one of the guys asked.

"Not a clue but better to be a bit paranoid than to be overrun and have to wait on the army, right?"  They all nodded.  "So this is your cut of it.  We only kept five percent and the money.  Here's the inventory list and the report on what we kept."  He handed it to the agent he had pulled inside.  "You have to have the crystal underneath it."  They all nodded.  "But you need a destruction run."  That agent nodded frantically, moving to call someone.  "Happy moving weapons."  He grinned and left, going to see Don.  Cordette's birthday was soon and he wanted to know what she wanted.

The agent pointed.  "You won't believe it if I told you."  They went to look.  He looked at the boss. "If demons have this sort of weapons, where did they get it from and how many went to terrorists?"

"Let me call their local liaison, get that report."  He called up there.  "Epps, I need the report on the clan of arms dealing demons we just got the portal from.  New York bust a few months back.  Things like how many went to terrorists?"  He smiled.  "That's good.  Sure."  He hung up.  "He'll be back down.  He was checking in."  Xander walked in with his PDA and handed it over once he had the report up.  They copied it down.  "We didn't check?"

"NYPD got shared with," Xander said honestly.  "Call Taylor in the labs out there.  I didn't find any in the paperwork.  They were pretty much selling to demons as far as I could tell and I sent him copies of all the papers we found so he could run down any leads he had.  We had an agent issue that night so I did what I could."

"That's fine.  We can search those out once we get them from him.  Why not use the New York office?"

"I had to stop in and see Don anyway."  He grinned.  "Call us if you need us, guys."  He left, heading back to the base via Dawn.

The agents got down to moving weapons into their secured storage.  The portal was nice but possibly not secure.  Theirs was secure and they knew it.  After the invasion they had found someone to make sure not even demons could get into it using magic.

***

Xander beamed at the people bouncing up to him that night.  "What's up?"

"Movie night, Xander.  Come watch with us," one said.

"No, we're taking Xander out to be an adult tonight," Sam said as he joined them.  "Dad's orders.  Xander needs to be a twenty-something guy again."  They pouted.  "Tough.  Not like he can date."

"No, he can't date," one said, scowling at him.  "We don't need him to date more bad girls."

"Yeah, don't wish that on us," another complained.

"How do you expect him to give you nieces and nephews to spoil?" Sam taunted with a  grin.

"Abby can do it in the lab.  We asked," one said.  Xander walked off snickering at that. "She can.  She said she can."

"I'm sure she can but we're going to let Xander be a guy tonight," Dean ordered.  "Make Dad watch movies with you."  They went to do that.  John was an okay parent to the horde.  Dean shook his head.  "That bad?"

"My last one was nice but she died in the battle.  Anyanka was pretty good to me when she wasn't demonic."

Sam blinked.  "You dated a vengeance demon?"

"No, he nearly married her but she was human at the time," Dawn called from her room's window.  "Please, make Xander go date good girls and stuff.  That way we can live vicariously until we get to date."

"No dating, Dawn," Buffy called.

"Bite me!  Mom said I could!"

"Yes, they're like that," Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "She's allowed to date, she'll be seventeen soon, Buffy.  You were at her age."  Buffy stayed silent and Dawn just grinned.  "Inside."  She pulled back in and shut the window.  "How am I supposed to go prove I'm a big boy?"

"Strip club," Dean said.

"I haven't gotten paid."

Sam waved an envelope.  "You did and Tony got it cashed too."  They walked Xander down to the Impala and got him into the back, taking him to the local town.  It didn't have much but toward the interstate was a small strip club and bar.  That's where they were headed.   Sam handed Xander his envelope of money after paying cover out of it, getting a smirk for that move. "You make more."  They walked in and sat at a table, letting Xander stare at the pretty young thing on the stage.  Not A level strippers like Las Vegas or LA but nice enough for a hometown and trucker strip joint.  She looked clean, was kind of pretty, and danced okay.  Xander bought a round to get change for the dancer, getting comfortable to watch her.  She was good.  When she got down, he waved her over, getting her a drink.

"You boys passing through?" she teased.

Xander grinned.  "At the base."

"Oooh.  I've heard great things come from there, but you all are pretty strange."

Xander winked.  "Only sometimes.  Now and then it's a duty."  She giggled and stayed with them to talk about stuff.  Not work stuff because she could tell they didn't want to talk about work stuff.  She was good enough to move to  topics ilk the local town.  That was safe and it'd keep him out of trouble.

***

Tony checked his watch the next morning then looked at Xander's empty desk.  "Anyone seen Xander?  He's two hours later," he called.

"I saw him head off with Dean and Sam," Danny Messer called.

Tony grimaced, going to find the GPS chip he had put on Xander.  What he found was amusing.  "They're at that strip club.  Still?"  He went to get his car and check it out. With Xander it could've been he passed out and they couldn't move him without him beating someone or it could've been a problem.  Considering he walked into the club and found the three guys blood covered and with short swords, plus a lot of parts around....yeah, it had been a problem.  "You couldn't call for backup?"

Xander snorted.  "For this?"   He got up with a groan, helping Dean get Sam up since he looked so tired.  "We're fine.  Only one got away.  We should probably check with the locals to see if there's been a lot of guys going missing."

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"A few succuba feeding on cheating spouses, a few trucker-eating demons, and then one realized what it meant when Xander said we were from the base."  Dean smirked.  "Only one got away.  I shot her but she kept going."

"Succuba do that," Sammy reminded him.

"I know."  He looked at himself then at Xander and Sammy.  "I do not want this mess in my car."

"Unless we're all going back naked," Xander started.

"The girls would like that *way* too much," Sam complained.

"I've got blankets and a trash bag," Tony said, going to get it for them and call in the local sheriff.  He was amused when he got there.  "Did you know you had demons feeding on the locals here?"

"Nope.  We did?"  Tony nodded.  "Huh.  That's probably why we had the truckers go missing over the last few years."

"And some succuba feeding on cheating spouses," Tony said.  "The boys are inside."  They went back inside, handing Dean the supplies.  They changed out of their nasty clothes and into blankets, wrapping themselves up.  The dirty clothes went into the trash bag so they could be washed.  "Now, how did it start?"

"One of the dancers on stage said 'oh, shit, that means they're DCIS!' and lunged off the stage to get Sammy," Dean told him.  "It turned into a 'let's get Xander his paycheck back' battle after a few minutes."

Xander grabbed his wallet and counted.  "I made eighty bucks," he said happily.  Tony groaned and shook his head. "Sorry."  He looked at the sheriff.  "They attacked us."

"Figured they did.  All we ever hear about you personally is that you're a semi-violent little goofball with a lot of girls who mother you horribly."

"Now and then," Dean agreed. The sheriff looked at him.  "Sammy and I are hunters who're working on the girls' training."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Head back to the base, boys.  Nothing more you can do here.  Any other guys here?  I noticed the pickup."

"He took off with the girl that got away.  She was a succuba and injured so he's probably in the ER," Sam said.  "She wasn't strong enough to kill him."  He got behind the bar and got them some decent beers.  "We'll need it later."  That got a nod and they left.

Tony shook his head.  "Xander needed some stress relief and their dad said to bring him to the strip club.  We didn't know this would happen."

The sheriff smiled.  "Some guys draw them more."  He looked around.  "Should probably torch the place.  Easier to clean up than this mess."

Tony snorted.  Then he called the base.  "Can Mortimer meet me where I am?  Demon carnage.  They tried to attack Xander."  The hellhound appeared nearly as soon as he hung up.  He pointed.  "Food."  The hellhound growled in pleasure and dug in.  "Keeps him out of the freezer later," he said dryly.  "He eats almost as much as the girls do."  The sheriff walked off laughing, going outside.  Tony stayed to make sure the dog didn't hurt anything and got himself a beer for later too.  No one here would be needing it.

***

The girls practicing with John saw the guys getting out of the Impala wearing blankets and stared, mouths open.  "What happened?" John yelled.

"Don't ask, sir.  Thanks for running classes today.  Tell Danny Xander's having a day off too!" Sam called back, waving a hand.

"I am?" Xander asked.

"You are," Dean agreed.  "Go shower and sleep, Xander."

He shrugged and went to do that.  Dean showered and changed then went to do laundry.  He was being a nice big brother.  His father came in a few hours later, while he was folding.  "Strip club full of demons, Dad.  Thanks.  Needed that stress relief."

John walked off groaning.  Between Sammy and Xander's luck, it was bound to happen.

A few hours later Sam walked up to Xander in the caf, nudging him and handing something over.  "Dean mixed up the laundry.  Those are yours."

He looked then put them in his pocket.  "I'll bring yours down later."

"Thanks."  He got his dinner and sat down to eat.  The girls all stared at him.  "Bad scene."

"Uh-huh," Faith said, nodding.  "We're sure about that?"  Xander nodded.  "Want to get more specific, X?  Or you Sammy?"

"Only Dean gets away with that," he said with a smile.

She snorted.  "You'd be surprised what I get away with, Sammich.  Now, what happened and why the panty exchange?"   A few girls giggled at that.

Xander looked at her.  "They took me to the local strip club."  She gaped.  "Full of demons."

She shuddered.  "'Nuff said with your luck and what I've heard about his."  Sam laughed but nodded.  She heard the younger girls hissing about the panty exchange and how it must've been more than a laundry mix up.  After all they had come in and napped.  They had been naked earlier by the rumors.  So maybe lusting after Sam was safe again.  "Still gotta ask his brother if he can date you, ladies," she quipped.  Sam groaned at that announcement.

"Why?  Is he sleeping with him too?" one girl asked.  Buffy moaned and put her head down since she was blushing.

"No, Dean and I haven't shared a bed since I was fourteen," Sam assured her.  "It was a motel room and only a double so Dad got the other one.  You can ask him, he was there. Ask Dad all that stuff you want," he encouraged.  They all grinned and went to get John to ask him the questions they hadn't wanted to ask Abby.  Though John did ground the one girl that asked if Sammy and Dean had broken up back then when he was fourteen.

"Your dad's going to kill you," Xander pointed out.

"He made Dean give me my talk.  He can learn how to do it in case Dean slips up and there's grandkids some year."

Xander cackled.  "Thanks, Sam.  I needed my evil fix for the day."  They shared a smirk and finished dinner so they could hide from John.  Payback was going to be horrible this time.

Two hours later John found Danny and Tony out for a walk.  "Liquor store is where?"

"Just past the mall," Tony told him.  He grinned. "If I had known earlier, I would've brought some back from the strip club."

"That's bad," Danny complained.

"They didn't need it after the mess the boys created."

Danny shook his head.  "And here I thought missing being shot at by natives was strange."  He kept going.  "I've got a flask in my desk from Jack, John.  Go ahead and grab it."

"Thank you, Danny.  Can someone please help me point out my boys aren't together?"

"They're not?" Tony asked.  "Dean acts like it."

"He's highly protective of his little brother."

"Uh-huh."  He smirked and walked off again.  That was too cute.  John went to get drunk and they laughed once he was out of hearing range.  Abby would like that story so he went to tell her later on, making her giggle and nearly fall over while she found pictures from earlier of their homecoming.  She'd get to tease the boys for a good, long while over those.

***

Xander  looked at Giles when he caught him outside enjoying the night a few hours after dark.  "And you thought I'd screw it up," he taunted.

"Yes, well, I suppose I was incredibly wrong.  The girls are doing excellently in their training.  They're mostly well adjusted, even if a few do have perverted minds, and they're happy.  Even the few who can't handle combat stress or patrol stress."  He looked at the young boy.  "Do not get smug."

"Why would I?  You guys make sure I never got that joy."  He walked off happier.  It was official, he had done good.  He was happy enough with that.  It didn't get any better from Giles in the praise department unless you were Buffy.

"I don't care if Mom said you could date.  I'm meeting them all before the date and we're doing background checks somehow.  I'm sure Xander can by now," Buffy's voice floated out of Dawn's window.  "And no more slutty clothes."

"I got that tan skirt off you."

"Um...."  Buffy's voice went silent and Dawn laughed.

Xander smirked.  "Yup, things are pretty much back to normal.  For now."

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Dreaming Big

The girls all pounced John when he walked out with his bags one morning.  "No, you can't go," one said.

"I'm just going on a field call," he said.  This was going to get bad.  Worse than a four- year-old Sammy who couldn't understand why he had to be left with Pastor Jim for three weeks while his father went to hunt a demon down.

"No, you can't," one of the girls said more firmly.  "Bad things will happen and you'll make your sons cry."

He frowned.  "They'll hide if they do.  I promise I'll be fine."  They started it wail and he groaned.  "Ladies, stop it."

"No!" one shouted, pouncing him and knocking him down.  "You can't go.  We won't let you!"

"Help!" John called, trying to get the girls off him.

Sam leaned into the building.  "Girls!" he snapped.  They scowled at him.  "Get off Dad."

"They don't want me to go on a field call."  He got helped up by Dean when he walked in.  The girls started to sniffle.  "I'll be back in a few months."  They wailed louder and one shook her head, heading toward hysterical.  "I promise it'll be okay," he told that one.

"No it won't.  You'll die and the demon will win and you'll be possessed and try for your sons," she sobbed, clutching him.

Dean looked at her.  "You're a seer?"

"Slayer dream," Xander said as he walked in, pulling her up to look at him.  "Tell me *exactly* what you saw.  Sometimes those things are cryptic."

"He was chasing something and it looked like a rabbit but it had yellow eyes and when he caught it, it bit him and possessed him so he came back here to get his sons," she wailed, clutching him.  "Then he died because you had to," she said into his chest.

John blinked.  "Slayer dreams are...."

"Prophetic dreams sent by the Powers That Be," Xander said quietly, cuddling and patting her.  "Not particularly nice for the girls."  Buffy and Faith walked in.  "Her first slayer dream."

"I hate those things.  My first one was this master vampire playing with my hair and putting a ribbon in it before he tried to kill me," Buffy told her.

"He'll be possessed and come back after his boys then we'll have to kill him," she sniffled, switching to Buffy to cuddle.

"Shh.  We'll figure it out.  Maybe it'd help if he brought one of the girls that's experienced on patrol?" Faith suggested, looking at John.  He gave her a look.  "It'd make it easier to hunt whatever and some of the older girls who've temped need to stay in practice."

He considered it.  "They'll be in the truck with me for weeks, Faith."

She shrugged.  "So?  Beats patrol, right?  We can read.  Most of us."  Xander slugged her on the arm.  "Didn't mean anything," she told one girl.

"I know.  It was the watcher's fault for being an ass."  She looked at John.  "I could go.  I passed my field test and I've got a great hand at demons and possessions.  My slayer senses seem to call to them.  It might even think I'm bait.  Then I could work on stuff without the other girls being helpful.  It's nice but sometimes it's a bit much," she told him.

He considered it then looked at the crying one.  Then back at her.  "Go pack.  We'll try it.  If not, I'll have Xander bring you back on a bus."

"Yes, John."  She gave him a hug and ran off to pack her bag using the 'going on patrol' list.  She came back with a duffle bag and a smaller one.  "I need weapons."

"Armory's still in the same place," Xander told her.  "You brought music, right?" he called after her.  She nodded.  He watched her go then looked at John.  "She's not allowed to bring my battle axe."

"I'll make sure she's being practical," he said, going to check on that.  He knew the demon the one had seen, though it being a rabbit was strange.  They had said they were cryptic though.  "Do all you girls get those?"

She grimaced but nodded.  "I had one before the Bringers came.  It's how we escaped.  I was taking a nap when they got to town."  She pulled down a sword and Benny Ray got her a different one.  John handed her a large machete instead.  "You sure?"

"Yup.  More practical, easier to hide."  She nodded and put it into her duffle bag and then went for the other weapons.  "Use the break-apart crossbow.  Get a good selection of bolts."  She did that, bundling them in a case so they wouldn't snap in her bag.  Then she got a few more things.  "We have the basics, right?  Jeans, t-shirts, overshirts and jacket for warmth?"

"Jacket?"

"Jacket," he said patiently.  "It's going to get cold again sometime soon, especially at night."

"I used Faith's list."  Xander walked in something and held it up so John could see it, letting him take it.  "My allowance?"

"Will be deposited directly on that so John can get you guys hotel rooms."  She smiled at that.  "We remembered socks, underwear, bras, your extra pills?"  She squeaked and went to get those while Xander finished getting her weapons together.  Benny Ray took a few away from him but John put one back and changed out something else.  Xander looked then at him.  "She'll still need stakes."

"She can carve stakes."

"Actually, she can't.  I tried for two weeks and Dean for another three.  She doesn't quite get how to sharpen her blades."

"I can work on that," he agreed.

"Sammy's getting a bag of stuff for her to work on for school stuff," he said quietly.  That got a nod.  "The girls have been helpful."

"They have been but sometimes it's overwhelming."  He finished up and took her bags out to his truck, coming in to get new bullets and empty shell casings.  Benny Ray handed him a box.  "Rock salt?"

"Dean and I sat down to make a good case last week."  He handed him a second and third box too.  "Should do you for a good hunt."  John smiled and punched him on the arm before leaving.  She hurried down to stuff her pills into the smaller bag and check the others.  Dean and Sammy gave her some advice about being patient with their dad.  Sometimes he was grumpy and fussy about stuff.  She nodded and gave Xander one last hug before getting into the truck and waving at them as they took off.  Benny Ray looked at Dean.  "Two weeks?"

"Dad's planned about a month on the road.  She might make it.  She's easy to get along with.  She can stand his music.  It should be okay.  If he hasn't sent her home in three days she might make it."  That got a smile.  "Dad's picky."

Xander's phone rang.  "What's up?"  He listened then laughed.  "I'll have Faith get it, John."  He hung up.  "Faith, she forgot her sneakers and boots.  We need to amend your list according to John."  She nodded, going to let Dean help her get what she'd need.  They went into a backpack, which could be used on patrol, so that was practical.  No girl went anywhere without a lot of things.  It was a rule of the universe.  Xander looked at the other girls.  "Well?"  They sighed but went back to classes.  "I need to know if there's more slayer dreams, girls," he shouted after them.

"Yes, Xander," they all called back.

"I thought Giles was doing research," Sam teased with a grin.

"He is but he hasn't come out of the library in a week," Xander said dryly.  "This way we can pass it onto him."  Dean smirked at that.  "Okay, where was I?"

"Desk," Dean said.  Xander nodded, heading to do that once he had some soda.  He looked at Buffy.  "Want to help with the remedial classes?"

"No thanks.  I kinda sucked in school.  No time for homework."

"Now's a good time to learn what you missed before," Sam said cheerfully.  "After all, you'll age out of it too, Buffy.  Gotta do something then."

"I'll train the new girls."

"So we'll start on things that'll help - accounting and physics."  She grimaced.  "It's very useful.  Come on."  He walked her that way, putting her into the classes.  Faith was snickering when he came back out so he dragged her into a room and put her down into a chair too.  "Here, learn a demon language.  It's good for you too."

"Yes, Sammy," she pouted.  Danny Jackson smiled at that.  "I know, it's good to know."  Sammy strolled out, going back to his own classes.  Dean too.  She listened to the taped lessons and frowned.  "I heard that from the demons trying to take over Cleveland a few months back."

Danny looked at the tape player then at her.  "They're talking about their hotdogs for dinner."  She slumped.  "A good reason to learn it," he promised.  "Some girls got it when they got called, but not all of you."  He gave her a worksheet to study.  "That's the basic words and they're spelled phonetically."  He got back to the lessons.  The girls were happy enough to be doing it.  It kept them from PT. with Dean for a few more hours.

***

Xander blinked because the nice, calm feeling he had had changed.  Now he was in the middle of a field.  No flowers, mostly mowed grass.  He looked around, whistling sharply.  Because this was strange, even for his dreams.  He looked back as twinkling started in front of him.  A figure formed out of the red sparks and he nearly gaped.  "Ares God of War?" he asked.  The guy nodded.  "From the show?"

"Yeah, but we were real at one point too, kid."  He looked him over.  "You're not exactly mine."

Xander shrugged.  "That's probably a good thing since I don't pray to you.  I might've been Joxer in a former life, that would explain how I got Buffy and Willow this life."  Ares shook his head.  "Then how do *you* explain them in my life?"

"I don't," he said dryly.  Xander shrugged at that.  Ares looked him over again.

"The myths said you were a horndog but really," Xander said dryly.

Ares snickered, shaking his head again.  "Not the reason I'm looking you over."  He pulled his sword.  "Only my worthy should be in the next battle."  Xander moved and took him by surprise, knocking him down and stepping on his sword hand, manifesting a gun.  "Maybe I'm wrong.  That was a nice move."

"Learned it off Dean."  He stared him down, then frowned.  "New apocalypse?"  Ares nodded, looking totally unconcerned about being held down by Xander and the gun pointing at his chest.  "Is it some sort of prophecy?  We've had two major, one semi-major, and another ten ascensions in the next five years if they're all on track."

"Not my field.  I'm not Athena."

Xander smirked.  "I'm sure you'd look cute in her armor."  Ares burst out laughing, moving so Xander let him back up but kept the gun on him.  "Where, when, what can you tell me?"

"Who says you'll be there?"

Xander snickered, shaking his head.  "Because I'm helping your girls."  He looked behind him as a body appeared then two more in fast succession.  "Hey.  Ares, this is Sam, his brother Dean, and Dawn."

"I know."  He looked them over then nodded.  "They'll be there."  Xander shot him in the thigh, making him yelp.  "Hey!  Respect the authority!"

Xander smirked.  "No.  I don't.  Never have."  He cocked the gun for a second shot.  "And?"

"Fine, you can be there but it'll be your life."

"No better reason to die," Xander assured him.  "When, where?  Who?  Anything more than that you can tell us?"

Ares looked at him then lunged.  Xander used his momentum to flip him then kicked him in the side, following it up with a stomp at his head.  Ares moved but Xander managed to kick him hard enough to unbalance him from getting up.  "Not bad," he said, disappearing and remanifesting behind Sam.

Sam turned to grab him.  "You're not a God of War.  The youngest slayers are better than you."

Ares put a hand over his chest.  "I'm wounded."  Xander shot him and he groaned, falling down to his knees.  "Didn't mean that literally."

"I did," Xander said, walking over.  "And?  What's going on that you don't think I'm worthy to help with?"

"New apocalypse.  Somewhere in the south.  Major demon growing a people's army."  His eyes started to glow yellow as he flowed back to his feet.  "You have no idea what you are messing with, Harris."

Xander snorted.  "You'd be surprised.  If you had paid attention to me, you'd know that."  He pointed the gun at him again, watching as it subtly changed because Sam put a hand on his wrist.  "Time's up.  Anything you want as famous last words?"

"You're still not worthy.  I've already picked the worthy.  They're marked and tainted as mine.  The normals will flee in terror from my chosen.  The worthy will be trained and my scion will rule the world."  He lunged and Xander shot him.  The demon screamed as it faded.

Xander looked at Sam.  "Freaky.  Yours or ours?"

"Mine," Sam said.  "Something about what he said was mine."  He looked at Dawn and Dean.  "Why are they here?"

"They came with you, Sam."  Xander woke up with a gasp, panting, gripping his chest.  He got up and padded out of his apartment, going down to Dean and Sam's apartment, pounding on the door.  Dean glared as he opened up.  "Sam?" he called, heading that way.  "Did you get the same thing I did?" he asked as he shook him.

"Xander, calm down," Dean ordered.

"No.  Too important."  Sam woke with a moan.  "Did you get the same thing I did?"

"Ares, God of War," he said quietly.

"You're a seer?" Dean asked, looking confused at his buddy.

Xander shrugged.  "I know I'm a medium.  It's possible I channeled Sam somehow.  You and Dawn were there."  He hauled him up.  "Who was the demon?"

"I don't know yet.  Let's document it."  He led him to their table and handed him paper and a pen.  "As much as you can, Xander."  He nodded, settling in to write what he had seen.  Sam did the same thing. Dean was reading over his shoulder so he gave him a shove. "Coffee?  Please, Dean?" he asked quietly.

Dean nodded, going to do that for him.  "Why was I there?"

"When Sam showed up, you and Dawn showed up right after him."  He looked at Sam.  "Would that mean they're linked to you somehow?"

Sam shrugged.  "We'll figure that out."  He went back to it, frowning at Xander's longer account.  He had a lot more detail.  Sam read it over and frowned.  "Why is it in Latin?"

Xander shrugged.  "That's what I heard it in.  I figured it was important."

Dean came over to get it, frowning at what he read.  "This is not good.  Though, why Ares?"

"He's an authority figure that would appear to guys like us in the old days.  We'd both get the cultural reference maybe?" Xander suggested.  "I don't know.  Should we wake up Danny?" he asked Sam.

"No.  Not yet."  He yawned, taking his cup of coffee from the microwave.  He walked back to the table and sat down, frowning at the instant nastiness.  "Now we have to research."

"Danny wants to know before it starts," Xander reminded him.  "That way they can try to stop it sooner."

Sam nodded.  "Then we'll see him first thing in the morning."  He took a sip and grimaced.  "Dean, too much sugar, dude."  He took another drink anyway.  "I can't believe you taunted him about looking good in Athena's armor."

"I could've asked for Aphrodite to call me hers instead," Xander said dryly.  "Maybe gotten a naked picture to take my mind off all the files on my desk."

Dean snickered.  "If you do, share."

"Sure."  He took the coffee to take a sip then handed it back.  "Thanks, guys.  Meet me in his office at breakfast?"

"Sure," Dean agreed.  They watched him leave and Dean looked at Sam.  "You okay?"

"No headache.  I don't know why."  He looked at him.  "Do you remember any of this?"  Dean shook his head.  "Any strange dreams right before he got here?"

"Something cloudy and quiet.  Nothing with mythical people from tv shows."  Someone knocked so he opened the door, looking at the man standing there.  "Giles."

"Xander?"

"Just went back to his room.  Why?"

"We found two prophecies.  I need to see if he's seen them."

"He just had some funky dream and went back up there," Dean told him.  "Is there some sort of prophecy that covers how many apocalypses we've had in the last few years?"

"I hadn't thought to look," Giles admitted.

"Sunnydale, the LA invasion.  One minor ascension.  Your minor ascension.  The five they've got on a watch list," Sam listed.

"I'll definitely look into that option.  Any other wisdom?  You both look like you've had slayer dreams."

"Somewhere between that and a prophetic one," Sam told him.  He let him see the accounts.

Giles looked at the Latin on Xander's.  "I didn't realize he was that fluent."

"He said he got his in Latin so he wrote it in case it was important," Sam offered.  He finished his coffee with a grimace.  "Then I got pulled in after a few minutes."  He handed over his.  "Dean said he didn't remember anything."  Someone knocked.  "C'mon in, Dawn."  She walked in.  "Funny dream?"

"Felt like a statue and I kept getting glimpses of Ares, God of War, from the tv show.   I have *no* clue, but I saw you and Xander both during a glimpse."

"Xander started it, whatever was pretending to be Ares pulled me in, and you and Dean followed," Sam told her.

"I still didn't get more than calm and quiet," he said when Giles looked at him.

Dawn gave him a hug.  "We'll be fine.  We'll figure it out, like we always do."  She looked at the pages of paper. "Latin?"

"Yup.  Xander heard it in Latin."  Sam shrugged.  "We're seeing Danny in the morning to brief him since it's about another possible apocalypse and a people's army raising in the south with a scion of the demon and special children being chosen."

"Which could be a reason she was called," Dean offered.

Giles looked at her. "They know?"

"They do know.  They found out when I went to swear at the Powers for being assholes and not realizing that the only way to get their precious balance was to eliminate everyone.  Sam guarded me, then Xander woke up and came to help so Sam guarded us and then Dean guarded all three of us when he sent Sam to get us out of there."

"I see."  Giles stared her down.  "Would that be before or after the sneeze?"

"Before.  Right before.  I got my psychic friend when I was off swearing at them.  There was even a pretty nice demon there who was atoning for doing bad shit trying to keep us from killing the Powers or the Oracles."

Giles squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "Where did you get such an idea?" he demanded after a few calming breaths.

"One of Willow's books."

He groaned.  "Your teachers?"

"Yelled," she promised with a grin.  "Though they said we're right.  Their balance isn't going to be achieved without stripping everyone of free will or their lives.  Also, not watching Xander as a player in their chess game was a stupid thing to do.  Especially after he started to screw in their plans and made them work better for the Light."

Giles stared at her.  "Excuse me?"

"Giles, how many times has Xander warped a prophecy, saved the day, created two slayers, any of that?" she asked bluntly.  He grabbed the chair next to him so he wouldn't fall down as the truth hit him.  "You and my sister did the same shit.  I'm so proud she's nearly a Power."  She handed the papers back.  "Let me know what I can help research, Sam."  She gave the boys a hug and left.

Dean looked at Giles.  "She's right from what we heard."

Giles nodded slowly.  "She was.  They weren't watching him to see how he'd interfere in their plans?"  Sam shook his head.  "They should have to make sure their plans worked right."

"They're a bit arrogant.  Like higher level demons usually are," Sam said dryly.  "Yours and Buffy's problems with him being a normal guy sound about the same."

Giles nodded, swallowing hard.  "I realize that now.  I'm watching my own attitude.  It was wrong of me."   He looked at the papers.  "Let me know when the meeting is and I'll be there."  He left, going back to his rooms to think.  He needed to think.  That revelation had hit him in a dear spot of his firmly held convictions.  He had missed quite a lot of points that hadn't seemed important before.  Now they made much more sense.  "Hindsight," he reminded himself.  "It is always clearer and you often don't need glasses."  He closed his eyes, letting his mind work without him for a while.  Because he had no idea why Xander was getting prophetic or even slayer dreams.

***

Danny walked into his office and groaned.  "I have a teleconference with the CIA today."

"We're pre-warning before we start researching the next problem," Sam told him.

"Charming."  He sat down, taking the two sheets of papers.  "Which is which?"

"The Latin is Xander's," Sam said.

He read it then looked at them.  "Ares, God of War?"  They nodded, grimacing some.  "Okay."

"It was somewhere between a slayer dream and a vision one," Sam told him.  "I have visions," he said at Danny's look at him.  "I have no idea why it went for Xander."

"I do," Dawn called as she walked in.  She coughed and read something.  "Glorificus' people have noticed that one who does nothing yet everything is not a normal human.  He cannot be.  Nor can he be more than a man.  He clearly Sees, in capitals, where needs are not being seen and clearly Sees, again capitalized, what others do not for he straddles the line between being seen and being unseen by everyone."  She closed the book, holding her finger in place.  "From the journal of one of the knights tracking me to kill me for safety reasons."

Danny scowled.  "Still?"

"Glory stuff, well before Sunnydale fell in.  Before Willow went evil even."  She looked at Xander again.  "Can't be Giles."

"No, or Riley," he sighed, grimacing.  "They thought I was a seer?"

"Later on he calls you one.  The unseen seer as he named you."  She pulled out a photocopy from the back of the book.  "The First Evil can be fought by seven slayers and a blind one who sees.  The One Who Sees shall take the place of the Powers for a while in this battle.  To negate him means he must not be able to see.  He must be disconnected from all forms of sight so that the Great One can woo him to her side."  She folded it back up and put it into that same spot.  "Looks like you were on the hitlist.  Taking the younger ones saved you, Xanman."

"Hmm."  He looked at Sam.  "That explains why it came to me and you."

"He came to you first," Danny said.  "He pulled Sam in as an example if I'm reading this right."  He let Xander see what he had written while he was so tired.  Xander frowned.  "It looked like Sam was an after-thought or an example to me."

Sam took it to read, nodding slowly.  "It does.  Then why pull Dawn and Dean?"

"You're linked to them," Danny said firmly.  "Somehow.  Maybe that spell created a tenuous link between you two.  Maybe she's another of the special children and the demon thinks you'd guard her or Dean would guard her."

"No problem with that," Dawn promised.  "I've been looking at the demon.  It's not that uncommon from what I've seen but there's a few that sound fairly familiar."  She handed something to Sam.  "Who's Max?"  Sam stiffened.  "Dean was muttering about this sounding a lot like him when he brought in coffee to start the research."

Sam slumped.  "Another one that was marked by the same powers I am but he went wrong," he told her.  "Are you a seer? Telekinetic?  Anything like that?"

"No but I'm damn special," she reminded him.  "I can pull spells to mimic those."

He nodded.  "Then we'll have to see."  He stood up.  "Let me get to work on the research."

Xander stuck the sheets into the copier, giving him a copy.  Sam gave him a faint smile before leaving, Dawn with him.  "So, pre-warning.  Let us do some thinking and some research.  It might not be one we can stop, but we're not sure yet.  I'm not going to sacrifice Sam or Dawn."

"What about that 'you're not one of mine' thing he had going on?" he asked gently.

Xander smirked. "The Powers said I was worthless," he said dryly.  "Do I seem like it to you?"

"No.  Behind on some casework."

"I know.  Her throwing up delayed me doing my report to send back."  He went to do that.  He could think while he typed for a while.  He'd have someone proof it for hidden code words his mind slipped in later on.

Danny shook his head.  "Even in his dreams he's a smartass," he muttered, dialing out on the comm system.  "Sorry I'm a bit late.  Had to be briefed on a vision someone had last night."

The head of undercover agents grimaced.  "We trust them?"

"Sometimes they're cryptic but they warned us about the invasion so we had to look to see what was coming.  They warned the girls to get to Sunnydale.  They warned the ones who survived about the Bringers.  I'm going to trust it enough to research it."

That got a nod.  "I can understand that.  I think one of my people ran into a problem for your people.  Do you still have Harris there?"

"I do but he's got about ten open cases at the moment.  Mostly things he needs to finish reports to send back to the sending department."

"They were talking about him.  You might want to warn him."

"As soon as you give me what you have I will," he assured him.  "I'm honest when my people are under threat.  Him more than most because his multiple jobs."

"Good to know.  Think we could get a slayer to train for us?"

"They age out at twenty-three as far as we know.  The older ones might not mind if they're asked but plenty of them know how dangerous it is."

"I can see that.  If I come up with a special project, I'll call."

"Please do.  We'll gladly cooperate.  We're not out to hog glory in the least."

The head at the CIA smirked.  "That's good to know."  He hung up.

"More paperwork for his bosses to read anyway," he muttered as he made sure it was hung up on his end.  He got into his voicemail, finding a good one to call back on.  He called, frowning as he leaned back.  "Director, this is Daniel Jackson at DCIS.  What did you need?"  He listened to her.  "No, that's not possible.  I'm sorry.  Because he's out on case assignment right now in Atlanta.  He's not due back for at least another week."  He rolled his eyes.  "No I can't.  Because he's helping track down some missing coeds that a demon kidnaped for some reason," he said bluntly.  "I'm not going to take his mind off that and make them possibly die.  What did you need him for?  We do have a number of good agents thanks to Tony's poaching."

He listened to the rest of the problem.  "Director, unless it touches on the supernatural in some way we're not allowed to get involved," he said more gently.  "That is our charter.  It has to deal with the demonic, supernatural, something like that.  Wicca is a religion and even if they can get it to work, I doubt they're doing harm unless they're changing sides."  He turned on his computer monitor and found what he needed in his bookmarks.  "I can send you a site that would deal with that issue.  That way you could use it for research.  Some of my people might know someone in DC so you can talk to them about whether or not the young woman in question was doing it the right way.  Other than that, if she's a real Wiccan witch, she doesn't believe in doing harm unless it's her life in danger.  Protection possibly, not murder."

Don Flack leaned in.  "A team is back in the air and on their way back.  No casualties.  Three of the six were still alive and the ones that weren't they said were from prior injuries.  Not during their captivity.  They said the slayer on the team was very helpful hunting them down and she's going to want dessert tonight as a reward."

"I'll do what I can, Don.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He grinned and left, going to help Xander with his reports.  "Want me to take one?"

"I know what most of them are, it's a matter of getting to the reports.  This one's been waiting now for three days."  He finished up.  "You can proofread for me, make sure my head didn't add in any coded phrases or things."  He grinned.  "Please?"

"Sure."  He took the file on CD to do that.  Sure enough, there were mental babble in there so he cut and pasted it into another document.   He wasn't sure why Xander was hooked on Xena, but okay.  He saw enough strange stuff around here that Xander going strange for a bit fit right in.  After all, the guy was seriously overworked.  Tony strolled in a while later while he was proofreading the last few reports, looking over his shoulder.  "Xander's having a mental stream of babble in his reports."  Xander groaned. "I'm proofreading."

"That's a good idea."  He took the last few to look over, taking them to fax for him.  One might be a bit too late.  He knew John was in that area.  He filed them in the 'done and sent back' file for Danny to look over and sign off on.  Then he went to pull Xander up for a talk.  "What's wrong?" he asked as he walked them out the back door and away from the base's main buildings.

"Long night.  A strange, slayer sort of dream."

"Another one already?"

"Sometime but maybe not a mass one like in LA," he admitted.  "I had Ares, God of War, telling me I'm not one of his."  Tony snorted.  "Then he turned into a strange demon who seemed to want Sam.  So I'm not sure.  I'm just tired."

"You've been just tired now for a few days, Xander."  He stopped him to look at him.  "You're still doing about six jobs.  Have you talked to Giles about hiring you an assistant?  Or him an assistant?"

"No.  I'm fine.  I just got a bit backlogged with the cryathon they had the other night."

"I know.  You still need to take a few personal days.  Go shopping for yourself.  Go play.  Go find a real amusement park and hit it."

Xander grimaced.  "Then the guys would be stuck with the girls for those few days and no one's there to play mom."

"You're not a girl," Tony said dryly.  "The rest of us like the girls too.  We can let them cry on us.  I'm sure Abby has.  And hey, Sheppard is back down here because someone higher up wanted him here for the next few weeks.  Heard that on the way back since we stopped to pick him and his loud one up.  Let the girls pounce them."

"They're being good," he defended.

Tony grinned.  "They have been.  Which is why this is a good time to take a vacation.   You've been working non-stop now for over a year, Xander.  Everyone else takes time off."  Xander walked off shaking his head.  "Yes you can.  You need it, Xander."  He followed him for a bit but he was heading for the woods so he went inside.  He made a note and held it up at the doorway since Danny was on the phone.

"Hold on, Jack."  He looked at the note, then he snickered.  "He hasn't?"  Tony shook his head.  "Why not?"

"The girls need him."

"I'm going to see if we can cut down on some of his other duties too.  The girls need him alive and sane, not tired and exhausted from all the stress.  Thanks for pointing that out."

"Welcome."  He shredded the note then went to do his own reports.

Danny took Jack off hold.  "I didn't ask, Jack.  I have no idea who asked.  If I knew, I'd go beat them.  He's needed there."  He smiled.  "We'll do what we can.  Sure.  No clue.  Thanks, Jack.  But hey, maybe I can use him to fill in for Xander."  He hung up and went to talk to Giles.  He found Xander in there, then smiled and leaned closer to him.  "Anything on this morning's dream?"

"Not yet," Giles admitted.  "Are we sure it'll be in the south?"

"That's what he said," Xander told him.

"Hmm.  Well, I have found that someone did see that we'd have a mass of apocalypses as the shockwaves of Glorificus dying and the First Evil being let out washed over the world.  They'll slowly stop in about two years and we'll go back to the normal level, a few minor ones a year or so."  He took off his glasses to look at Danny.  "The ascension list, how sure are we?"

"We looked over the book and found the things they'd have to order.  Some of them you have to file paperwork to get into the country.  So unless they're raising some on their own or they're getting them from a black market source we should be okay.  Crissy's asked the major dealer in LA of most of those things to call us if he does get a sudden request.  That they're looking to do what your former mayor did and the girls would like some warning."  Giles nodded.  "He agreed and said it was bad for business if everyone got eaten.  He's helped them with a few other cases as well.  So we should have a good head's up.  If not, we'll get there as soon as it's told to us and handle it."

"I dare say it's easier than blowing up the school," Giles said dryly.

"If I had any sense I would've grabbed a second launcher and tried that when he first came out," Xander told him.

Giles looked at him.  "That was a situation where we all did the best we could, Xander.  We were being blindsided by the other problems within the group. Even you."  He smiled at Danny.  "We're working on it."

"Good.  Now, I was going to have you suggest seeing if we could mutually hire someone to help you with the research work.  Sam's been a bit busy with the demonology classes and helping a few girls look up things for the agents.  A research helper could help both of us and you definitely need someone who has some training and sense to help you.  That way you make it to meals, Mr. Giles."

Giles smiled.  "I had thought about that but I have no idea how to handle that."

"There are actually people who go to college to get a degree in mythology," Danny told him.  "Or perhaps a family of a former watcher.  But you do need help in here.  The girls are just now learning how to research for the most part.  Sam gave them their first research paper in Demonology 3."

"I know.  I shall look into that.  Perhaps Abby might know someone as well."

"Abby might," he agreed happily.  "Plus that's a position we could split between the two groups.  Each pay half of his salary so he can help us do ours as well.  That gives the girls time to get ready for regular school and us someone to help when they're finally there in a few months."

"That would be a good idea," he decided.  He looked at Xander.

Who shrugged.  "I thought about it but I was doing good just getting them to classes and not making them that boring."

"Have you a thought where to look?"

"Not yet.  I know there's some who research within the community but they're mostly in it to find things.  You might ask John.  He's given us a few contacts who help Wes now and then."

"Hmm.  I'll have to call him tonight then.  Thank you both."  He smiled and put back on his glasses, going back to his reading.  "Did you need Xander to do more casework?"

"No, he's caught up.  I might need him to take a day off soon if these dreams are going to start interfering with his daily schedule."  Xander scowled at him.  "If they do, you'll need it.  I'd rather know than have you exhausted from it and then have you die, Xander."  He walked off to look at the paperwork he had on Xander.  It was sketchy at best.  "Tony?" he called.  He came jogging in.  "Why is Xander's file without any forms?"

"Um, because we kinda adopted him and he volunteered?" he said with a wince.  "I knew I was going to screw something up."

Danny tossed over the 'new hire' packet.  "Here you go.  Backdate it and sign it since you hired him."

"He was here before me."

Danny grimaced, getting into the oldest files, finding some of it in there.  "Here we go.  He was here a good month before you it looks like."  He pulled that file off the computer and handed it over.  "Here, now fill those out and backdate them."  Tony nodded, going to do that.  Danny shook his head.  He still probably owed Xander a back pay check.  Wonderful for his budget.  He wondered if anyone else wasn't getting paid so he went down the list of personnel versus checks cut this time.  It was nice, Sheppard was on both lists.  So was McKay.  He smirked and went to talk to them.  "Who said to come back?"

Sheppard shrugged. "No clue.  I was told it had to do with the leaks."

"Okay.  I thought we plugged that leak."

"I don't know, Danny," he complained.  "How're things going?"

"Xander and Sam had some sort of prophetic dream last night that says we're having another one soon but it'll be smaller and more personal to them than not.  Giles found out why we're having so many so close together and it should even out in the next year and a bit.  Jack's pissed."

John Sheppard grinned.  "Jack?  Whyever for?" he asked dryly.

"Because the Pentagon came up with six new forms he's got to fill out," he said with a smirk.  "Unlike him, I can have someone do mine."

"Better not be me."

"No.  But since you're here, you want to work on the girls' training or help in research?"

He shrugged. "I don't care.  I can check on that leak later.  Abby hasn't had anything new come in recently that they've found.  Rodney's helping her rewriting forensics and chemistry for the demonic.  Why not."

"Good.  Xander needs to go back to doing *two* jobs.  Not six."

John nodded.  "Know how that feels."

"Yes, but he pouts when we try to relieve his stress.  And honestly, he's been here longer than everyone but a few of the military guys that transferred in."  That got a nod and John went to the library to see if he could help them any.  Danny went to his office to find Tony had gotten the paperwork done, backdated, and not signed.  He called Xander in.  "Here, sign this.  I went looking for your paperwork and we only had a bit of it on the computer and none of the official stuff we need."

Xander grimaced.  "Does this mean you'll have to do a background check on me again?"

"Probably not.  Why?  Pot bust?" he joked with a grin.

"Well, no, but when I was stripping to fix my car I got busted for underage drinking and they thought I was a pro for about a night."

Danny gaped.  "You what?"

Xander nodded.  "The car blew up in Oxnard on my post-grad road trip.  I had to do something to fix the stupid thing and pay rent."  Danny moaned.  "Sorry.  Thought you knew.  Tony found out."

"Tony never told me but I've been in those sort of situations, Xander.  Any drug arrests?"  Xander shook his head.  "Was the hooking charge removed?"

"Yeah, the next morning when the cop tried to cop a feel and I busted his ass.  The doctor in the jail checked and found out no one had stretched me back there when they asked.  Of course, they had to tie me down to look...."  He trailed off.  "Not a happy night to remember."

"I bet.  No, I shouldn't need to do one.  Any weapons charges?"

"Sunnydale's PD had a lot of suspected charges because the mayor decided to make us the bad guy for fighting against his crap."

"Understood.  I don't care."  Xander nodded, signing things and handing them back.  "I'll get you the rest of that backpay this payday."  Xander rolled his eyes as he walked out.  "You do the work, you get paid around here, Xander."  He checked them over, making sure everything had a signature.  They went into his personnel file and was filed in the perpetually locked cabinet.  Then he sat down to get back to work. For fun he did do a background check on him, smiling at the Initiative's file that came up saying he was dangerous and mentally unstable, that he had helped take down a military unit and caution should be applied.  He got into the remarks section to add to it with the truth.  That the project needed to be taken down, he was not unstable mentally or emotionally, and others had a real problem with a project that resulted in hundreds of beings being tortured and one of those tortured assassinating the president.  He added a last note that said Xander was perfectly reasonable when not faced with situations that involved hurting innocents he had to help save.  Then he saved it down and shut it.  His phone rang a few minutes later so he put him on speaker.  "Jackson."

"Doctor Jackson, you just updated a personnel file from my people," a male voice said.

Danny looked at the phone.  "You would be?"

"I'm the head over the covert branch in Homeland Security, Doctor Jackson, therefore your boss."

Danny snorted. "Sorry, sir, but their suppositions came because they were torturing others and their torture led to others having to protest, and yes, take down their project.  Their project also led to the assassination of a president and the formation of my bureau.  He's not unstable.  I work with the man every day.  He's bouncy.  He's hyperactive.  He's also very intelligent and has a lot of weapons knowledge.  No one has to fear from Xander unless they're doing things that are very wrong and hurting innocents."

"I see.  You still should not...."

"He is my person and it is my responsibility to make sure that their records are reflecting accurately on them," he said firmly.

"I don't like your attitude."

"Then take it up with the president since he hired me.  Xander was here before Tony and I were and it was going well then.  He's kept this agency together and working, plus all the girls.  I don't care if you don't like him.  I don't care if you're buddy-buddy with the Initiative freaks who think torture is good science.  You touch my people and I will make sure the consequences are severe and total.  Am I clear, sir?  Since you still haven't proven who you are or given your name."

"We'll see."  He hung up.

Danny called the president's office.  "It's Doctor Jackson.  Small issue.  Something he should hear from me.  A Jack-style pissing match," he told his assistant.  "One of those."  He leaned back.  "I got into one of my people's files and corrected the assumptions made by the Initiative about him being dangerous, mentally unstable, etc. and so forth.  Someone claiming to be the head over the covert agencies in Homeland just called to try to intimidate me and correct me.  I told him off because I'm not stupid and I know my people.  Yes, he should hear about it.  Just a head's up, I hope."  He smiled.  "A bit of one coming in the south somewhere.  We're looking it up and it's going to be at least a few months, something small and probably more personal to some of our personnel.  As far as I know we don't have anything major coming.  Giles is checking.  Speaking of, can you pass on the word to the Chief of Staff that he's looking to possibly hire researchers we can split here?  Thanks, Miss Anderson.  We have no idea where to find any but I figure the Chief of Staff might know some who could handle this subject matter and might even know some other languages to help since about half the books are in Latin.  Thank you.  Sure, just hand him the note.  Have a good day."  He hung up and got back to work.  The little fairy that had shown up one day and decided his job was to deliver things flew in with a stack of files for him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  It flew off, cheerfully humming.  It was doing good work.

Danny smiled, getting into the sent files.  Xander's files were on top since they were the most recent.  He went over them.  They were up to standard and looked well researched. One he wasn't sure about the demon but looking it up showed what it was and he had no idea why he had ruled out the other six it could've been.  He called him in to ask him.  "There's six others it could be."

"I texted Brenda.  She said she got a good look at it and that's what it was."

"Oh.  Are they handling it?"  He nodded.  "That's fine then, Xander.  Just wondering."

Xander stared at him.  "Who said what?"

"I fixed the personnel record on your behalf since the Initiative had you being next to Charles Manson," he admitted. "Someone higher up wanted that changed back."

Xander snickered. "The remains of their group are now somewhere in Homeland too."

"I'm not hiring them."

Xander got the file from his desk and handed it over.  "This is who is left.  He is in an admin. position and so is Finn."  He handed it over once he had marked those two names.  "I made sure Tony got a copy of who I remembered and the notes we made."

"Good.  Even better.  Anything else I should know?"

"Not yet.  Though they did try to divide the group.  Nearly succeeded.  You should ask Buffy.  She was dating one."

"I'll do that.  Thank you."  Xander smiled.  "I asked the Chief of Staff at the White House to send any good researchers he thinks we might be able to use this way.  It'll help us both."

"So you said.  Have more coffee, Danny."

"I can do that."  He got up and went to do that while Xander checked his email and went over the notes Don had taken out of his reports.

***

Xander walked into Sammy's classroom between shifts, handing it over. "I was writing my reports while tired and this showed up in the ten of them."

Sam leaned on his desk to look them over, frowning.  "That makes sense with what we both saw," he said, handing it back.  "Anything yet?"

"No.  Something on why we have so many apocalypses scheduled but not this yet.  Giles thought Ares was symbolic from my mind but I don't think so.  I think the demon who sent it did it on purpose."

Buffy cleared her throat.  "Did we say you saw something, Xander?  Like a slayer dream?"

"We both had a dream last night that was halfway between a slayer and a prophetic dream," Sam told her.  "Fairly strange.  It seems like it's coming after some special children."

"The girls?" she asked hesitantly.  Sam shook his head so she sighed and grinned.  "Good.  Well, not *good* but the slayers don't need to handle another one."

"When we killed Glory, it started off a chain reaction and the First Evil created ripples.  It's what's causing all the apocalypses."

She shuddered.  "Bigger ones?"

"Like ripples in a pond," Sam assured her.  "It'll go back to normal levels soon."

She nodded.  "Even better.  Who're the special kids?  Dawn?"

"Possibly.  She showed up but so did Dean and Xander," Sam said.  "It sounded like it thought I was and it was trying to warn Xander off from trying to stop it."

"Okay then.  Then we'll watch out for strange slayer dreams."

"Watch out for yellow eyes, special children, a people's army in the south following the demon's scion," Xander said.  "That's what he basically said it was."

She nodded.  "Same yellow-eyed demon that got Brenda so upset?"

"Could be," Sam agreed.  "It could be the one that's been after my family for years.  I'm not sure.  We're still researching."

"Okay.  I'll keep an ear out and I'll warn Faith to do the same.  Wes too probably.  Where's Giles?"

"Library," Xander said dryly.  "Where is he usually?"

"Good point."  She strolled off.  "Lunch time, guys."

"Coming," they agreed.  They shared a look then shrugged and headed off to eat.  They could both use it.  Xander's notes went into Sam's pocket so he could go over it again later when he had the incidences in front of him.  It might give him more clues.

***

Danny looked out his window as a helicopter approached, sighing in displeasure.  "Hell," he muttered in Chinese, walking out to greet his boss.  "Sir," he said, nodding politely once the Head of Homeland Security had gotten off the chopper.  "You could've landed in the back lot easier.  It's a safer landing spot.  Have him go back behind the gym please?"  He said something to the pilot, who took off and took his helicopter back there.  "Now you're not in the way if something happens.  What can I do for you today, sir?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your little pissing contest."

Danny stared at him.  "Xander, can I please have the Initiative files?" he called.

"On your desk, boss," Tony called back.  "Xander thought you might need them after lunch.  Just in case."

"Good to know."  He waved a hand.  "We can go to my office if you want, sir."

"I saw their project."

"Sir, I saw their testing tapes," he said bluntly.  That got a shudder.  "They were judging Agent Harris on the basis of having helped stop them from doing horrible things to some beings that were and weren't innocent.  Including some children."  That got another shudder.  "Xander is no more a danger than I am.  His dangerous side only comes out when he has to protect others.  Mostly to the US's benefit.  I'm sorry their wounded prides and attitude problems made you come all the way out here.  Since you're here, would you like a tour of the base?"

"I wanted to know some things first."   Danny waved a hand. "You're nicer than O'Neill."

"Often.  Until you get in my face and I have to protect people."  The little shrub demon wandered over.  "Hey, George.  The girls are in classes for another hour."  It rubbed against his leg than waddled off.  "One of the young girls on base adopted him.  He's harmless but protective."  He led him back to his office.  He even shut the door, something he hardly did.  "What did you need to know, sir?"

"First, those girls?"

"The last of the slayers.  Our mutual aid pact means that we can lean on them and they can shelter with us since so many of them are underage."  The other man gaped.  "We have one that's seven.  She's been taken in by a great family for us, but the spell to end the First Evil in Sunnydale called all the ones born.  We're still missing a few but they're arranging to get them here for training and support."

"I see."  He considered him.  "We lean on them?"

"My people would've been decimated in LA a few months ago," he said honestly.  "Their training helps my people train as well.  We get to share classes, research, all that.  They're doing the same job as we are, only with less forms and less legal intervention.  It's their hereditary duty.  The president who set this up agreed it was a good plan when things went south in Sunnydale before the final battle out there.  We had intercepted a few Watchers who were about to be killed by the minions and protected the girls from them."

"Then they raided that base," he said dryly.  "Getting a bunch of good men killed."

"It wasn't them that raided it.  That was a power play by the remaining Watchers who wanted to take out all the girls.  They were going to kill them all, including anyone with them or shielding them."  The other man groaned.  "They're the ones who broke onto that base and killed those men.  When Dawn Summers got them off the base and hidden, they decided to try arson after trapping them in a basement.  Mr. Harris got to them as they were pouring gas, sir.   It's his direct intervention that protected all those innocent young lives."

"So why are they still here?"

"Because Cleveland doesn't need them all there.  It was felt that having so many slayers there would draw things to them.  Which Cleveland does not need.  Their city council agreed that they didn't need it when they found out.  As a matter of fact, they forbid that many slayers to be in their city.  Since Cleveland is a new hellmouth it doesn't have many problems or need more than a few of the girls at a time.  We have a rotation for there and LA with the older girls who have passed their field tests.  The only problem we have with the girls is the lack of space at the moment.  If we get too many more, they're going to have to build somewhere on the back of the base.  Then we'll change that building over to single quarters since we're running out of them.  That had been a topic of conversation recently."

"We're sharing salaries?"

"Mostly we're sharing training.  Only one person right now works for both, Mr. Harris.  They're hiring people to help the girls and we're taking the same lessons to get my people up to speed on various demons, their clans, the harmless and the peaceful versus those who might cause us problems, all that.  Both sides need their library for research and since Xander evacuated it with the younger girls when the chance was given by the old unit, we both get the library.  We're talking about hiring a split researcher right now.  The girls are going to be starting school this fall and they've been doing a lot of helping in there."

"Uh-huh."  He considered it.  "I'd like to meet Mr. Harris."

Danny opened the door.  "Where's Xander?"

"Practice with Dean," someone called.

"Thanks."  He nodded.  "Shall we?  Dean's a hunter, his family's been hunting demons since he was four, and Xander saved him and his brother so they could help the slayers."

"I'm aware of that."  He followed him out, watching those two work out and trade light insults with each other.  The boy had some skills but wasn't nearly as good as his trainer.  "He's untrained in this area?"

"I had specific knowledge and Dean's got a wider variety of skills so I'm picking up additional ones, thank you," Xander called.  He ducked a hit then pushed Dean down, looking at him.  "You would be?"

"Xander, this is the head of Homeland," Danny said, shooting him a 'be nice' look.

Xander waved.  "I'd try to shake your hand but you're probably as paranoid about me being contagious as the assholes in the Initiative who I caught tasering a harmless, herbivore demon who was the equivalent of a ten-year-old human."  The man moaned.  "By the way, I'm only dangerous when you make me, sir.  I don't care who it is.  Was your grandmother G'wark or one of the other clans?"

"G'wark.  How did you know?"

Xander walked over and looked at something on his collar.  "You wear their mark."  He stared into his eyes.  "I'm not a threat unless you make me one," he said calmly.  "They wanted me and my group of friends to break up so they could get Buffy, dissect how she did things, take her skills for their own, and then kill her.  A normal guy who was partially trained wasn't wanted or needed according to them."

"I see.  So the file?"

"Pure BS," he said dryly.  "I only drive you insane if I like you."

The man smirked.  "Good to know.  That does go with your reputation, Mr. Harris.  My grandmother's people have heard of you."

"Good things?" he asked with a grin.

"Some.  Some not."

Xander nodded.  "Someone has to do the job.  I think that was my job description until about a month ago."

The head of Homeland laughed.  "I'll make sure Doctor Jackson has a good budget so he can hire some assistants for you."

"Sure.  Any idea why they pulled some of the people off his old project to come here when they're needed desperately there by the rumors I've heard?"

"That was a decision from outside the network and someone bribed someone to make that call," he said bluntly.  Xander grinned at that.  "I do not know who but I do know that they want their project to fail."

"And the people that would be killed?"

"I don't think this sort cares, Mr. Harris."

"I know people like that.  Can I get them back there then?"

"If you can."

"I think I can.  Hey, Dawn, go get the new guys.  Send them home!" he yelled.  She squealed and did that.  He smirked.  "There, better."

He smirked back.  "Thank you for handling things when they went pear shaped."

"You know, I never really understood that analogy," he admitted.  "But you're welcome."  He grinned again.  "Want the dollar tour?"

"No, son.  I came to check on some things.  Why do you scare agents?"

"Because I'm a combat vet without a known affiliation for any branch of service.  I have the same reflexes, some of the same training and knowledge, and they can't be sure who I swear allegiance to.  Think of me like a kid who was possessed, because I was to get the soldier's memories, and then I'm thrown onto a battle cruiser.  Where I have all the knowledge I could need but I'm not in the service."

"Do you swear allegiance to Doctor Jackson?"

"As long as the agency doesn't turn into the Initiative they have my support and the girls' support.  I do what's right, even if it does end up causing some bad feelings."

He nodded.  "Good answer.  Sometimes being right and being good are two different things."

"No, I'm still mostly good.  But I'll be damned if I let any of the agents here torture people or demons."

He nodded.  "Even better.  You're raising those girls of yours right."

"Thank you.  Anything else we can do for you today, sir?  Danny, we've got a gate breach I think.  I'm having the 'I should get near the east gate just in case' itchy feeling."

"We'll handle it," he promised, leading his boss off.  "Xander's not often wrong but he's not an officially known seer," he said quietly.

"Gut instinct works for your second's boss.  I can see it working for him.  I'll leave you alone.  How is your budget?"

"If I'm hiring a few more agents and people, I could probably use a small raise but I won't have the same startup costs as I did this year.  So it might even out."

"I'll keep that in mind.  You will be at the anti-terrorism conference next month?"

"If I'm reminded.  Not that I think we'll intersect a lot, sir, but we do what we can."

"I know.  It's possible some of the same pipelines are leading into your caseload."  He heard an alarm.  "Let me fly off.  Doorway out back?"  Danny pointed then ran for the armory.  He ran for his chopper and was taking off as the agents headed for the gate to defend it against the ones coming in.  Jackson came out firing as well.  So it was good.  They had well-trained people.  Maybe the paranoid ones were wrong about Harris bringing down that agency from the inside.  He saw Harris taking down two demons and one of the girls fighting with him got another that was trying to block Harris' shot.  Harris fell and he winced but he got up and went at it again.  The girl beside him fell and was apparently unconscious.  She didn't get back up.  But they guarded her and someone floated her off somehow.  Then an explosion went off and it was pretty messy.  "Charming," he said blandly.  "They do have plans though."  He looked at his pilot.  "Got the information file?"  He handed it over.  "Then let's head back to the airport."  He read it on the way.  It was very interesting.  What his friend needed to know was in there, just not blatantly stated.

***

Danny walked into the infirmary.  "How's Faith?"

"Fine.  Small concussion.  She's already been up and fussed so we knocked her back out for a few hours.  Everyone else?"

"Some debris scratches.  Nothing major."  He looked at the dark-haired slayer then at the nurse.  "I got a voicemail from you?"

"Our head doctor is wanting to retire to private practice.  She's pregnant."

He nodded.  "So I need a new doc to handle this."

She handed him a list.  "The qualifications you need, Danny."

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "You do make it easy."

"Good.  We've got flu shots coming in November.  Should I hunt you down?"

"Please.  My allergy pills?"  She handed them over and he nodded, walking off to go find them a new head doctor.  He ran into Xander, who was pacing.  "Another one?"

"No.  Wondering when I got able to tell what I needed."  He looked at him. "I'm not a seer like Sam is."

"Are most of them like Sam is?"

"I don't know."

"Then ask one.  Or ask Sam."

"I did, he gave me a dirty look."

"That was probably the way you blurted it out, Xander.  Go apologize and ask the rational question."  He nodded, trudging to do that.  Danny got another cup of coffee and went to find a doctor from his desk.  They couldn't do without one.  Too many injuries happened.  He looked around his office then frowned.  "Tony, get one of the CSI in here, please?" he called.  There was a lock popped open on a cabinet that should not have one open.  Tony and Ryan walked in.  "That lock please."

They looked.  "Isn't that the personnel cabinet, boss?" Tony asked.  Danny nodded. "We'll check the index list against it then."  Ryan dusted for prints, finding two, then he left to run them in the lab while Danny and he checked the index lists.  "We have two missing."

"I'll let them know."  Danny went to find the two in question, finding them not talking to each other at lunch.  "Xander, Sam, can I see you for a minute?"

"It's their fight, let them," Dean advised.  "They're both being chicks at the moment."

"I would but someone got into their personnel records while I was showing the Head of Homeland Security around."

Sam frowned at him.  "How?"

"I don't know.  I keep that cabinet locked and when I got back after the emergency it was open."  He looked at Xander.  "Unless you got into yours?"

"No.  No need to."  He ate another bite.  "We think it was him?"

"We found fingerprints.  One should come up mine, one might not."  He sat down across from them.  "I don't know if it was him, since he was with me until the alarm went off, or the pilot he brought."  Ryan walked in and brought him papers to look at then got his own lunch to head back to his current case.  He looked.  "The pilot."  He handed it to Xander.  "Know him?"

He looked then shook his head.  "No."  He handed it to Sam.  "It didn't list any covert service, like the Initiative."

"No, it doesn't," Sam agreed.  He scowled at Danny.  "How could this happen?"

"I was showing him around.  He's the boss over all us.  I'm assuming he snuck in.  Ryan, did you run hallway cameras?"

"Yours doesn't have one but the one nearest your office is being looked over by Abby after lunch," Abby called.

"Thanks, Abby.  Let me know please?"  He looked at them again.  "I don't know why you two, guys."

Sam started to open his mouth to say something mean but Dawn froze all three of the men in question.  "I think this is a bit coincidental, don't you?" she asked them.  Xander's eyes were glaring.  "You two have a funky dream about a demon raising an army, including special children, which seems to indicate Sam is in trouble, and today someone breaks in to steal not only his file, but yours as well, Xander.  After you smarted off to the demon and protected Sam."  She unfroze them.

"Spanking later," Dean told her.

"Had to get the point across and it's not like I did like Willow would and turned them into bunnies or something."  Xander shuddered.  "I know, don't remind you."  She looked at Sam.  "Do you believe in coincidences when there's bad demons involved?"

"No," he said quietly.  "I don't think...."

"I do.  I've been mean all day.  So has Dean.  So has Xander.  Something in the dream infected us."  Giles moaned from his seat.  "I'm betting there's some sort of spell so you two at least would break up to get you out of the protections here, Sam."

He slumped but nodded.  "Can we check?"

"Already started on it.  My psychic witch friend is helping.  She's the one who had to point it out to me."

"Don't sneeze," Tim joked.

"Oh, I won't."  She looked at them.  "So?"

Dean nodded.  "Could be."

Xander sighed but nodded.  "Definitely could be."  He looked at Sam.  "I did apologize for putting that badly, right?"

"He did his usual blurting out babble of information and it came out wrong," Dawn translated.  "Please forgive him for being a Xander."

"Way to pick up your sister's attitude," one of the younger girls complained.

Dawn scowled.  "Butt out."  She looked at Sam.  "Even if you're fighting it could save your life, Sam."

"I know.  I'm not really mad at him.  I guess that's more evidence of the whatever it is infecting us since I understood what he was asking.  Why take his personnel file?"

"Because the demons don't do what the Powers and Buffy did," Danny pointed out. "They pay attention to Xander and how he supports and messes up things they plan.  That's why all the demons earlier were aiming at Xander.  That's what allowed us to pull the flanking maneuver so easily."  Xander groaned.  "Whatever gave you that warning was going to take him out."

"Crap," Dean muttered.  "Xander, more sparring practice later."

"Yes, Dean."

"Good."  He looked at his brother.  "Let's figure out if we're infected or magicked or whatever."  Sam nodded and headed off with Dawn once they had put their plates up.  He looked at Danny.  "Do we think the demon is infecting whoever got into the records or do we think it's a payoff situation?"

"I think a lot of people in high places probably made a little bit of a deal to make it easier to climb to the top," Xander told him.  "How else do you get the bump up if you're not known for doing special things for people?  Some, yes.  They had a rep, they were well known.  How did someone who we had no idea who they were make it to president a few years back?  Even during that election I couldn't spell his name or identify his picture."

Dean gaped.  "That's not that far fetched," Giles said.  "If they only asked for a small step up in return for a single later favor, the demons would be able to use them for information sources on their enemies, use them to help support later plans, and I'm fairly certain Xander's correct since I know at least ten in the US Congress have made such deals.  One fairly more strict.  His daughter is marked.  I saw it in some horrid beach pictures that got splashed around those trash journals they sell at the supermarket."

"Then we could be looking at this same demon or we could be looking at another demon calling in his favor?" Xander asked.

Giles shook his head.  "The timing is wrong for it to be some other unless they're working to stop the one that sent the dream, Xander."

"Coincidences don't really exist," he agreed.  He looked at Dean.  "So."

"So," he agreed.  "You're not leaving base for a while either."

"The next team case goes to my team.  The other guys have been pulling our weight while we rebuilt."

Danny shook his head.  "I like keeping your team for the bigger cases, Xander.  ATF wants to know about the weapons pipelines the demons use.  Did you leave any weapons in Sunnydale?  Major things I mean?"

"Not of mine.  Did the demons have some?  I'm sure they did.  I never knew where they were so if Spike didn't find them then probably so.  I haven't gone through that storage area except for books and those were all put in the front of the room for us to move easily later."

"Then we'll let the older girls, you, Dean, Sam, and your team do that today," Danny decided.

"I got a new call in," Xander told him.  "Here in town.  The sheriff thinks they've got a rogue witch casting on people."

"How would they know?"

"Six people showed up with marks and had no idea how they got there.  He checked the local tattoo places so it wasn't a drunken binge of friends.  Looks like it's in the high school and a case of jealousy."  He looked at him.  "I was going to bring Dawnie with me."

"Go ahead and do that.  Bring another member of your team as well," Danny ordered. "Just for safety reasons, Xander."  He nodded.  "Good."  He looked at Dean.  Then at Giles.  "Can you both go over that room with the rest of his team and the older girls?"  Giles nodded.  So did Dean.  "That way we have an index list and know what might come back to bite us later on."

"In a few cases literally," Giles warned.

"Of course.  I'd expect possessed things to be among the most dangerous."

Xander shook his head.  "Not always.  Otherwise we wouldn't have nearly released a harder to kill demon onto the internet."  Giles moaned.  "Books online project," he said with a grin.  "Scanning it in read the demon so he got released."

"We heard about that," Dean said.  "One of the guys we know was chatting with it one day."

"That was Miss Calendar's project with Willow," Xander told him.  "One's dead and the only hint we have about Willow is that she's somehow tied to Spike at the moment.  The Powers brought him back for some reason."  Giles spluttered.  "I told you that.  Angel's looking for them for us.  That way we can separate them or whatever."  He looked at Dean again.  "Tie something around the possessed books if you can?  That way we're warned."

"I can tie a ribbon around them," he decided.  "That way some later witch can use it to seal the book shut."  He looked at Giles, who nodded that was reasonable.  "Good.  Girls, after lunch, those who are field ready and passed are helping Giles and me with a project in the storage areas.  The rest of you will be practicing with either the Major or Sammy.  Depending on who's free."  They nodded and finished up, heading off to classes or to grab another drink to take with them.  The place down there was dusty.  Dean finished up and headed down with them, Giles following with Buffy.

Xander looked at his team.  "Guys, one of you gets to help me in town just in case."  That got a shudder.  "Danny thinks the demons earlier were coming after me."

"Sure.  What's the case?" his team's leader asked.

"Rogue witch with a jealous streak against teenage girls," Xander said.

"I'll go," their former ATF agent said.  "I could use the teaching in that area anyway."  Xander nodded.  "Do we have another case beyond that?" he asked Danny.

"Whatever comes in or whoever's free can help Giles in the storage area.  We're not sure what they brought in from Sunnydale."

"It was two huge trucks and only one had books," Xander admitted.  "Spike found us a lot of stuff to evacuate from Sunnydale."

"Sure," Danny Messer agreed.  "Dangerous?"  Xander shrugged.  "Then we'll see."  He finished up and went to check his desk and the fax machine then went to get sucked in.  "Can I help?"

"Sure," Dean agreed.  "You can help with the index portion.  Description if it doesn't have a tag or the girls don't say 'that's possessed' or 'that's pure evil'."

"Sure," Danny agreed, settling in to help one of the groups.  More agents came in to help by taking a group of people digging into boxes to do the same thing.  Some of the girls had really crappy handwriting.  They had found that out by some suddenly appearing mushy notes from the ones that had crushes.  Annabelle came in and Danny tossed his spare pencil at Dean, nodding at her.

"I said field cleared, Anna," Dean said, giving her a look.

"I can help repack."

"Some of these are dangerous things," Buffy told her.  "Half of this stuff came when we got the scythe."

She frowned.  "Can I at least help with the non-possessed weapons?"

"No," Buffy said, shaking her head.  "Not until you're nearer to field age.  You can go ask the hotty in the armory if you can help him clean weapons.  He said you're very good with them."  She smiled and did that since he'd appreciate her help more than the other slayers did.  She looked at Dean.  "How's the one that got fostered out?"

"She's good from what I hear.  Tony, Danny Jackson, and Xander look over their shoulder.  The last I heard Cordette had aced a math test and a science test, plus she was doing great in her self-defense lessons that the FBI offered."

"You can ask the girls in LA.  Crissy treats her like her little sister," Tory said from her group of boxes.  She held up something.  "Why do we have demon parts?" she said with an 'eww' face.

Giles looked then took it to look at closer.  "Hmm.  Part of a summoning spell that was interrupted since it's partially burned."  He made a note on his chart and put it with the other magical supplies he had found.  "Thank you, Tory."

"Welcome, Giles."  She got back to work, then shoved her box over.  "I think this is more like that.  There's eyeballs and stuff."  She shuddered and got another box.  They ended up switching piles after a few more boxes with icky stuff but that was fine with her.  As long as he kept the icky stuff with him.

Sam walked in and nudged Dean, handing him something.  "Drink."

"Why?"

"The trio said so."

Dean drank the foul looking potion and really it tasted worse than it looked.  He shuddered.  But he felt better.  More calm again.  "Fixed it?"

"Yup.  We've all been dosed so we should be okay.  Xander and Dawn went to handle the jealous witch in the high school with Joe."  He sat down to help him catalog things.  There were some strange things in here.

Only one thing that got released though and the girls destroyed it pretty quickly when it tipped over someone's drink.  Pity about it but she was thirsty.

***

Later that night, Xander looked up at the man who woke him up again.  "Okay, this is getting monotonous.  Damn it, another Tim word," he muttered, making himself sit up.  "You know, if you're going to visit, bring me stuff so I can dedicate myself to Aphrodite instead, okay?"  Ares handed over a picture.  He leered.  "That's nice," he agreed, tucking it into his shirt pocket.  "The naked Hustler pose works for me.  So thanks.  Anything else?"

"You cannot stop the plan."

Xander giggled.  "Yeah, right."  He stood up.  "Because I didn't help stop the others?"

"This isn't a play by the Powers, boy," he said smugly.

Xander nodded.  "I realized that.  They're usually more arrogant and pushy.  So, these special kids.  Anything that marks them so we can look them up?"

Ares laughed.  "Like I'd tell you."

Xander shrugged.  "Had to try."  He stared at him.  "You know very well no one on this base is being taken.  I am the gatepost for them."

"That's why we're talking.  If you don't let them, then worse can happen.  He'll never get training."

Xander snickered.  "I'm pretty sure we can train anyone around here.  After all, I'm also part of the Slayer's Council."  The demon backed off, looking alarmed.  "Now, any other reason you decided I needed to be cranky tomorrow?  Because, gotta tell you, that spell from the last dream?"  He snorted.  "Dawn said it was elementary and she would've canceled it out herself if she was trained to look for it."

"You cannot shield him.  He is mine and will stay mine.  I made him come into being."

Xander looked him over then looked into his eyes. "Why don't you drop the Ares, God of War look?  It's really kinda pathetic.  I liked the actor who played him while he was alive."

"I have to use an intermediary image that you would recognize so you know the power you're up against."

"Uh-huh."  Xander stared at him and the guy's image changed to Joxer.  "Really?"  He looked then let out a horrified scream before going away.  Xander looked around the realm.  "Guess we'll do this the old-fashioned way."  He pinched himself.  He woke up and found a Hustler under his hand, making him smirk.  "More than a dream realm demon then."  He went to write down what he knew, making a copy of it just in case.  One of the copies went under Dean and Sam's door.  The others he hid around and one he even hid from himself.  Just in case the guy was that sneaky.  Dawn or Giles could find it for him.  He went to sleep on his couch.  Maybe a bit less comfortable but less likely to draw him back down to the dream realm because he couldn't get that deeply asleep again.  Even if he would be cranky in the morning.

***

Xander walked in the next morning, hearing yelling coming from the office area.  He walked up to find John yelling at Danny.

"How could you endanger my boys that way!" he shouted.  "You let some minion get my son's records!"

Xander looked at the cowering slayer. "Weren't you supposed to keep him from being possessed?"  Because he clearly was.  Xander could feel the spirit sucking closer to him.  John didn't usually try to suck him down so he had to be possessed.

"I tried, Xander," she whimpered.

"Go wake his sons up."  She ran off and John turned to snarl at him.  "So, what do you look like outside my dreams and John?" he asked bluntly.  Danny moaned.  "Because, gotta tell you, you just got that body fussed to death when the other slayers find out.  Should've listened, little demon."  John lunged at him and Xander took him down.  "Can't use the body you're in.  Good to know."  He held him down while everyone else got him sedated and tied up.  He looked at Dean.  "Brenda tried."

"I know."  He looked down.  "Let the girls question him?"

Danny gave him a look.  "We don't believe in torture, Dean," he said dryly.

"Pity."  He hauled his father's body up and walked him down to the possession ward, putting him into a room.  The nurse came in to tie him down.  "The girls are going to fuss over him."

"I'm sure they will.  Is Sammy coming down to help him or should I turn off the ventilation system for Dawn?"

"I'll do it since this one seems to want Sammy."  He went to get what he needed, coming back to start the exorcism.  He wasn't as good as Sam was with it but he could do one.  Of course, the demon was being stubborn until Sam walked in.  Then he smirked evilly at him.  "You shouldn't be in here."

Sam winked.  "It'll be fine.  He can't hurt me."  He came over to do the same exorcism chant.

Dean stared at his brother.  He wasn't Sammy.  It wasn't Xander either.  The demon faded and he joined in to help him.  They wanted the demon out of his father's body.  The demon wasn't going to be obliging so Xander strolled in to add a banishment with it.  Still stuck in there.  "Okay, let the girls fuss," he decided.  "We'll get a priest."

"One from the local town is on his way up," Xander promised.  He grinned at 'Sammy'.  "Thanks for trying."

"Welcome."  He walked out and the illusion dropped to show Don Flack, who was a practicing Catholic.  The priest nodded as he walked past him.  "Watch out, Father.  This one's a bit powerful."

"Of course he says he is."   He walked in and nodded at Xander. "Any idea of his true name?"  Xander and Dean both handed over the sheets they were working from.  He looked then nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Why him?  Is there a connection?"

"He killed my mother and nearly Sammy.  This is our father."

"Which means Sammy's got a method of destruction and to help him," Xander pointed out dryly.  The demon screamed and tried to wiggle free but Xander slugged him on the jaw, stunning him.

"Dude, my dad," Dean complained.

Xander shrugged.  "Get me back in practice later.  Did you get the sheet?"

"I did.  Interesting.  Sammy heard different words in a few spots."

"We can compare.  I even hid one from myself."

"Good."  They stepped back, watching the priest work.  Xander got him some extra holy water when he started to run out but that was fine.  Finally John was free as far as they could tell.  Sammy leaned in to check.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  The girls are in hyper fuss mode."  He got out of the way of the fussing girls who came in to help clean John up.  "Brenda said she even tried to drive him back but he took over and drove instead.  That way they wouldn't die."  He got closer and the demon reached for him so the priest and the girls worked the banishment together.  This time, it was gone.  They were sure of it.  It came out screaming and wailing as it was sent back to hell for a while.  Dean waved as the spirit dissipated.  Sam swatted him.

"What?"

"Quit."

"Fine."  He looked at Xander, then at his dad.  "Morning.  How did that happen?"

"Brenda said the demon made Dad think we were in the hospital and you were nearly dead," Sam said, leaning on the foot of the bed.  "When she pointed out repeatedly, to get it through his stubborn head, that we're fine and here, the demon took him over.  He wanted Dad to make a deal to save your life."

"Hmm.  Interesting," Dean said.  "It gave Xander a Hustler last night and now this."

"Trying to distract me so Sam's more open," Xander said.  Then he shrugged. "We all know I can do without for longer than this demon thinks.  Even if she's naked and on top."

"Eww," one of the girls said.  "Not ready for those thoughts yet."

Xander stared at her.  "Good!"  She pouted.  "You're fifteen.  That's a good thing."  She rolled her eyes and went back to helping with her part of the sponge bath.

"Must you do that?" John asked them hoarsely.

"Yes!" they said in unison and scowled.  He wilted at the five scowls.  They giggled and went back to it.

Dean patted him on the foot.  "We're making sure the demon's gone, Dad.  Nothing can stand against five slayers in a fussing mood.  Not even you."  He walked out with the others and the priest.  "He good?"

"He should be fine."  He looked at Xander.  "You need to see me as well."

"I like my two possessions.  They're helpful and my babies."

The priest moaned.  "They taint you, boy."

Xander nodded.  "They made it so we defeated the ascension at Graduation and Glorificus.  Yay.  A bit of tainting isn't anything against that."

The priest stared at him.  "And the other?"

"Dawn sneezed up a new body for him.  He's somewhere in the squad room if you wanted to talk to him."

The priest groaned.  Then he shook his head.  "If you need me for his, let me know," he told Sam.  Who nodded but grinned a bit.  "It could be dangerous."

"No, the hyena loves being pack mother to the slayers.  Considers most of them cubs."  The priest walked off shaking his head.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "I was possessed by the hyena pack leader and then Ethan's Halloween surprise meant that I turned into a soldier with all the memories and training he had.  Since I'm me, it stuck around a bit."  He walked off grinning.  His babies were very helpful to him.

"Anything else we should worry about on the tainting side?" Sam called after him.

"Only if Willow was right and I didn't get to detox every single bit of mermaid steam from my body after the swim team incident," he called back, then shot them a grin before getting onto the elevator and leaving.

Dean looked at his brother.  "I never thought I'd meet a worse demon magnet than you.  It's good to know they exist."  He went back in to save his father from the girls.  It's what dutiful sons did.  "Girls, let him nap so we can make sure he stays clear," Dean ordered.

"Few more minutes," Brenda complained.  "I've got dry shampoo and we need to shave him."

"Leave the scruff," one whined.  "I like scruffy men to look at."

"I'm still too old for you.  Please quit?" John begged.

"No," Brenda said.  "I failed and you got possessed.  I have to make sure you're all right."  She finished his hair and brushed it out, then looked at the others.  "He redressed?"  They nodded.  "Then we'll post a guard."

"Go file reports so it can be official," Dean ordered.  They trudged off to do that.  "You too, Brenda.  You especially."  She nodded, leaving them alone except for the guard outside the room.  He grinned.  "You back, Dad?"

"I'm going to beat your ass, Dean.  No more fussing girls."

"Suck it up."  He walked closer.  "Still in there?"

"Maybe a taint but not a full one.  I can hear myself think and I sound like myself instead of wanting to grab Sammy and take off with him."

"Good!"  He patted him on the head.  "Could be worse. They could've fully stripped you."

"No, thankfully I talked them into leaving on my boxers.   Go away?  Let me be humiliated in peace?"

"For now."  He walked off, taking Sammy with him to go over Brenda's report with her.  They needed to know what happened.  They couldn't find Xander but that was fine.  He was around there somewhere.  He always was.

***

Sam looked at Xander that night at dinner.  "Dad should be fine."

"Good."

"Are you still sucking in spirits?"

"The shield they put on me is still holding."

"Good."  He grinned.  "You good otherwise?"

"I'm fine.  I'd expect the same sort of visit if something wanted the slayers."

"Thanks."  He dug back in again.

Dean looked at Xander.  "You still need to find a day off."

"Once this one is done," Xander assured him.

"By then it could be another year," Dean complained.  "The last time you took a day off was the demon strip club."

Xander grinned.  "Some were pretty."

"You're still not allowed to date, X," Faith called.  "We don't need to expose the girls to  badder ones."

"Yeah, we might take lessons and then no one would be safe," one quipped.  Buffy choked.  "Not that *I'd* do anything like that, Buffy.  Really."  She gave her the best 'innocent, good girl' grin she could.

"Uh-huh."  Buffy looked at Xander.  "Go gay?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not my thing most of the time.  Though I have been asked if I was a boy pro in the past."  She moaned and Giles choked.  "Road trip."

"You're never allowed out alone again," Buffy said firmly.  "We'll find you someone nice to date and make sure they can work here too.  That way we make sure it's not evil, mean, or going to warp the younger girls."

"I'm sure we can make them nicer," Annabelle said with an evil grin of her own.  "After all, we made John hug earlier."

"I'm so proud," Dean said with a grin.  "You're going to be the best slightly evil slayer ever, Annabelle."

She cackled.  "Thank you, Dean!  Want a hug?"

"Hug Sammy.  I don't do mushy stuff."  She got up to hug Sammy then went back to her dinner.

"You hug very nice, just enough strength for pressure," Sam told her.  "Finish up.  You have homework to do."  She pouted but did that.  The other girls who had homework went with her.  They knew the rules: no tv if you had homework and a group favorite tv show came on tonight.  They all liked to laugh at the Xena double play that came on a local station later tonight.

Buffy shook her head.  "We'll get her straightened out."

"She's a good girl," Xander said, giving her a look.  "She knows when the right time to be evil is.  Mostly to annoy someone."  He finished up and went back to his paperwork.  He had a few things he had to finish up before he could turn in and have another strange dream tonight.

Buffy looked at the agents in there with them.  "Anyone want to date Xander?  We'd trust you not to be evil.  And hey, Xander was apparently good to Anya in the bedroom according to all the bragging she did."

Tony looked at her.  "Behave, Buffy."

"But he's lonely and if he dates it'll be a bad thing."

Tony shook his head.  "The three dates he's been on since he got here didn't go badly except for the time the boys brought him to the strip club."

"So maybe it's just sex," Faith offered.

"It's a poor guy who can't have sex," Dean told her.  "He should be put out of his misery if he can't and then what would you girls do?"

"Go bra shopping with you?" Buffy said happily.

Dean cackled.  "I'd like to see you make me go bra shopping, Buffy."

"Good.  We'll go Sunday."  She finished up and went to check on the girls.  Then check their chains and handcuffs.  Because Dean might be stubborn but she needed a guy's opinion now and then.

Faith looked at Dean.  "Remember, commando boy taught her the meaning of 'tie you up and hurt you'."  Dean shuddered.  "I'd hide."

"I'll help him," Sam promised.  "We'll both hide so we don't end up in the mall bra shopping.  Did that once, never again."  She smirked.  "My girlfriend Jess brought me once."

"Uh-huh.  Special treat?" she teased.

"Well, yeah.  But I'm never doing it again."

She walked out laughing.  "I'd hide really good.  Remember, she does know how to track."

Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "Maybe we'll go on a short field case Saturday?" he suggested.

Sam nodded.  "Works for me."

The other girls trooped out and a few loyal ones warned Buffy they'd try that.  She'd have to capture them sooner.  Maybe they'd even let her drive their car if she tied them up nicely enough.

The rest went to think about bras and Sam or Dean or Xander in the same thought.  It was a happy night in Slayer Hall.  Even if it did get a bit loud and the guards would complain to Danny and Giles.

***

Xander woke up to Ares, God of War again.  So the first thing he did was change him into Gabrielle, making him huff.  Xander just smirked.  "Fits you since you like to gab so much and you try to make up stories.  Nice work with John by the way.  He needed to be fussed over and the girls needed to learn how to fuss properly.  He'll be begging for mercy and a new baptism very soon."

The demon changed back.  "I am not female."

"I'll make sure someone knows that for your tombstone.  Wanna give me a name so I can put it on there too?"

"No," he sneered.  "You won't stop me.  You're a mere mortal."

"You know, the Powers said the same damn thing.  And look what happened then."  He stared him down.  "We're all mortal somehow.  Everything dies from something.  If I go protecting the others, yay me."  He moved closer, letting his hyena out.  His eyes changed to greenish-yellow and he snarled, sniffing him.  "You smell like rotten eggs.  Probably taste bad too."  The human voice in her head told her that he wanted to hurt Sam and the cubs.  "Hmm, a threat to the pack."  She sniffed then smirked.  "We'll see, won't we?  No one touches my pack."  She lunged and the demon disappeared.  Xander woke up.  The voice in his head told him to sniff, marking certain doors on her rounds.  Including the slayer's doors.  Then she went to curl up on her desk.  It was comfier because it had a good, warm surface from the lights overhead.  Plus the brightness meant the trivial thing wouldn't come back and interrupt her sleep again.  She needed sleep or the human would be extra cranky tomorrow with the cubs.

***

Dean woke up and did his usual morning things, taking his cup of coffee to the dining hall with him.  He opened his door and looked.  Then he swore, which got Sammy out of the shower.  "We've got markings!" he bellowed.  More people came running and found them on other doors.  "What the fuck?" he muttered.  "Sammy?  Any clue what it means?"

Sam pulled on pants before coming over.  "It's a protection mark.  Tribal, from Kenya if I remember right.  Somewhere near there."  He traced it and felt the magic in it.  "It's...  Okay, one of the people with skills traced it."  The agents all groaned and one called Dawn.

She came in to look.  "A few slayers got one too and it was not me.  I had a good, peaceful night dreaming about the guy from that one movie that ran around shirtless half the thing and with knives the rest."  She traced it and nodded.  "Xander did it."   Everyone looked around.  "Did we get another dream?" she asked Sam.  Who nodded slowly.  "What happened?"

"I was walking through the fog, heard him say something about his new form fitting him since he gabbed and told so many stories.  Then I heard a growl.  That's the last I heard.  I woke up."

"So he went hyena," she said blandly.  "Good to know.  Someone find Xander and make sure he's back to human?" she called.  A few went jogging to do that.  She looked at the symbol.  "It's to protect you.  I don't know why he marked the ones he did.  Give me a list and we'll find out."  Sam nodded he agreed.  One of the other agents did that, taking over the case for them.  Danny and Don were a good team and they could do it.  She looked at them.  "See you at breakfast.  Sam, what's that scar from?  It doesn't look like a knife or a claw mark."

He looked then blushed.  "Stupid fight with a drunk frat brother using a broken beer bottle.  He wanted me to drink with him and I wanted him to get out of my way so I could get to my ten a.m. class."

"Ah."  She nodded, walking off again.  "Hopefully he got detoxed."

"Oh, yes.  He got arrested, put into rehab.  All sorts of good stuff."  He went back to his shower since Dean was giving him an odd look.

"The guy obviously needed help if he was drunk that early.  That's pretty pathetic.  You let him cut you?"

"He kinda fell into me," Sam admitted from the bathroom.  "Tripped and I caught him wrong."

"Uh-huh."

"He was still drunk from the weekend before.  Hadn't sobered up and it was thursday."

Dean shook his head.  "That's really pathetic."  He went to breakfast anyway, finding a lot of people heading for the squad room.  He walked that way and coughed. They got out of his way.  "Awww," he said loudly.  Xander snapped awake.  "You going to growl at us too?"

Xander frowned at him.  "The smell's not on you."

"Is that what made you mark the others?" Tony asked.  Xander nodded, putting his head back down.  "Go sleep in bed, Xander.  Not on your desk."

"Can't, the whiny thing will come back.  He said so."

"We know for sure he's male?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded and yawned.  "Then give me an account and go eat."

Xander blinked at him.  "Can't I sleep?"

"You can sleep in the armory, in the gun vault," Benny Ray told him. Xander grinned and blew an air kiss, wandering that way.  "Why are we worried?"

"He's been getting taunting dreams from a demon who wants Sammy and possibly a few others," Dean told him.  "Xander's somehow set himself up as the base's guardian and the protector of anyone here.  Last night Sammy heard him go hyena on the demon since they're sharing the same dreams, mostly."

"Physically?"

"No, probably not.  He got up and walked around to mark apartments with protection marks," Tony admitted.

Benny Ray nodded. "Okay.  So he came up here....."

"It's warm, light, and he can't get that deeply asleep for another round," Tony told him.

"Ah.  That's reasonable.  I'll let him nap in there.  The light's pretty bright and it's warm."  He went to get his own breakfast and check on the boy.  He had pulled a thermal blanket over two crates in there and was asleep on top of them.  So Benny Ray went back to breakfast.  He wasn't going to be in the way.  The poor guy probably really needed a nap.

Buffy and Faith walked in.  "What's with the funny magical marks on some doors?" Faith asked.

"Xander scented the demon on some of us," Dawn called.  "He apparently drew them last night after another shared dream with Sam.  Sam heard him growl at the demon.  He's sleeping and was back to normal earlier."

Buffy nodded once.  "Why can't we remove them?" she asked Giles.

"Because spirits stick in Xander's mind and soul," he said patiently.  "It's something strong mediums do."

Tim looked over.  "He's a damn strong medium, guys.  I only had to look at him to get snared by accident because he was walking over the foot of my grave."  Buffy shuddered.  "Honestly.  He was going 'here, ghosty, ghosty' a few graves over to get the one killing mourners.  I looked and got hooked without either of us intending it.  Gotta say, this is better than death so I'm thankful but it's still strong and he's very strong.  Otherwise I would've had him in the lab and taught him how to be me."

Abby coughed.  "Maybe we should see if he did pick up any knowledge from you," she suggested.  "Since he did from the soldier he got turned into that one Halloween."

"He did," Giles agreed.  "Including base codes, paramilitary training.  Bombs, weapons, physical training, and a few other things that were immensely helpful to us back in Sunnydale.  Especially the tactics and planning."  Everyone gaped.  Giles nodded.  "He is a very strong medium."

"Who has some odd sort of sight," Sam offered from his seat.  "Not true visions," he said when Giles looked at him.  "That 'just in case' feeling of his.  He's had it four or five times now and it's always saved lives."

"Maybe it was another possession," Buffy quipped.

"No, he had a few of those back in Sunnydale," Faith said more quietly.  "He had some extra weapons on him a few times, just in case ours broke.  He knew you couldn't beat Angelus so he made sure you would.  He got an extra rocket launcher if I heard right."

"He used it to barter for something we needed more," Giles told her.  "It ended up being a potion to disable a demon that was going to eat Buffy and Tara.  No one heard about that but he presented their unconscious bodies to me and the empty vial, then the thing's head.  He had said he wasn't sure why he followed them to go shopping but he had."

"I don't remember that," Buffy complained.

"It was back in December of your first semester, Buffy."

"Oh.  Yeah, I had a few stupid moments that year."  She shrugged and sat down to eat.  "He's back to not growling, not trying to hurt girls, that stuff?"

"You know, it's possible he was testing you to see if you'd join the pack, and since you didn't, he had to drive you off somehow," Sam said.  "That is pack dynamics."  Buffy looked stunned.  "Then again, you were a threat to him."

She slumped then shook her head.  "I didn't see it that way."

"You were clouded by the moment and didn't look at the pack angle," he said, grinning some.  "Xander said his hyena likes his current pack.  Has a few she considers cubs."  She smiled at that.  "So we'll be fine and he's fully back to talking and all that."

"He said he smelled the demon on those he marked," Tony said from his seat.  "I can understand why Sam and Dawn."

"Not," Dawn told him.  "Brenda.  Annabelle.  Tiff's old room.  Not mine.  Faith's."

"Brenda would've gotten touched when he possessed Dad," Dean said, leaning on the table.  "Annabelle, have you run into any demons?"

"No, Dean.  Not yet.  Well, except for that creepy asshole in the mall."

"Language," Sam snapped.

"Sorry, Sammy.  He was though.  He was creepy and kept touching himself.  Plus he called me a pretty little bitch, his words before I get in trouble."  She pushed back her blonde hair.  "I reported him to Xander, who glared and reported him to a security guard.  They apparently drove him off and reported him to the local cops."

"Good!" Buffy agreed.  "Point him out to us if he shows up again."

"Yes, Buffy."

"Anyone else set off your demon sensing abilities?" Sam asked.

She considered it.  "Someone came to the house once.  I was really little and my watcher drove him off after a few minutes of yelling at him.  I don't remember why.  I was barely four."

"Do you remember what he looked like?" Sam asked.  "Human?"  She nodded.  "White, black?  Long hair or not?"

"White guy, dark hair.  Creepy, itchy feeling under my skin.  I asked Watcher Paul and he said that was how I knew it was a demon in disguise."

"Sounds like what I got off Max," Dean said quietly.

"Which might fit," Sam said, taking his breakfast to the library with him.  Danny and Don followed so they could help.  Since it was now their case.  Xander's markings had shown a bunch of people who needed to be protected.  That made it an agency case.  Danny Jackson nodded at them and smiled a bit, giving them permission to handle it.  Sam looked over, frowning at the guys who joined him.  "We've got it."

"Sam, you're part of this agency," Don said.  "Xander marked others.  That makes it an agency case, even if it was just you two.  Suck it up and help us find it so we can all eliminate it."

Sam shrugged and handed over what he knew about this Max guy and a few others.  Plus what they knew about the demon that had killed his mom.  It had to be the same demon.  It fit the same description.

***

Tim looked up as Tony walked over to him.  "You don't look happy.  Bad team case?"

"Your team's up for it," he told him.  Tim nodded slowly, he knew that.  "It's in Miami."

"I'm going to be beaten."

"Perhaps.  It's going after cops though."

"So I should go.  They'll trust me after they beat me," he decided.  Tony nodded, handing over the file.  "Partners or full team?"

"Full team.  You'll need the backup."  Tim looked at him.  "I know your team's only got three people on it.  So I'm sending Wolfe's team with you on it.  They'll trust both of you and the profiler's already gotten something started for you.  Your two teammates are still limping after practice."

"Thanks.  Ryan can run interference with H for me."

"Maybe," Ryan called.  "He's nearly as hot as Taylor is to get Danny back."

"Did you tell him I was here?"  Ryan looked over but shook his head.  "Damn it.  He's obsessed?"

"Xander stole his people.  A direct quote from Calleigh."

Tim winced.  "Okay.  We'll handle it."  He walked the folder over there, going over what they had and what the profiler had sent to them so far.

Danny looked over with a grin.  "Let's hope you don't pick up Xander's luck since you were inside him for so long," he teased.  "His first team case he needed artillery and came home on an airlift helicopter."

"If I need artillery, I'll go hit up Horatio and Calleigh.  They can find me some."  He grinned but got back to work.  That was a good hope to have.  He even prayed not to get Xander's luck for away cases.  Because dying again in Miami would suck a lot.  He'd really be beaten then.

***

Tim walked off the plane last, looking at the person there to meet him.  Eric gaped.  "Shut it, Delko.  You're catching flies."

"S..Speed?"

"Yeah.  Xander ended up possessed by me."  He shrugged.  "Then someone sneezed so I got my own body back.  Kinda interesting being in Xander's head."  He slid on his sunglasses and looked at him.  "Let's get this out of the way.  We've got some good ideas about what's going after officers."

"Sure," he said.  He pointed at the hummers.  "I've got one and the rental car  you guys called ahead for.  Um, we're going back to CSI I guess."  Speed nodded.  "Wolfe, you drive the other one?"

"Sure.  I still remember the way."  He nodded and Speed followed.  Eric almost reached out to grab him but Ryan shook his head quickly.  There'd be time to grab Speed later.  Eric got the one who couldn't fit into their car into his hummer and they headed back to the lab.  Horatio was not going to be pleased.  "You good?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine.  I've been putting off telling them.  They're going to fuss."

"A lot.  Even worse than the girls do," Ryan agreed with a small grin.

"Right now, being tied down and fussed over by the slayers doesn't seem os bad.  Alexx is going to cry while she beats me."

Ryan nodded.  "Quite possibly."  He turned onto the causeway and followed the old path he used to take daily.  "Nothing much seems to have changed."

"Doesn't look like it," Speed agreed.  He was tense and uptight.  Ryan gave his knee a pat.  "I know.  I'll handle it and it'll be okay.  Thank God this isn't a Xander case.  Then we'd be in real trouble because he'd be trying to block Alexx from beating me."  Ryan and the others laughed.  "He would and then he'd be injured, the girls would yell at us and fuss over him too.   We'd all die from that fussing."  A few minutes later they pulled into the station, letting him sigh.  "Anything I should know?"

"Lab revamp made it have a lot of glass," Ryan told him.  "Some of it pretty ugly."

"Who did that?"

"Boa Vista when she came in."

"Uh-huh," he said flatly then grimaced.  "You told me about her."  They waited until Eric parked then got out to follow him, Speed carrying the folder.  He nodded at Frank Tripp as he walked past him.  The shocked and horrified look wasn't that good but it was probably an indication of how bad it was going to be.  Once they were on the elevator he looked at Eric.  "Called ahead to warn them?"

"Called to tell H the team was in and there was a huge shock coming, to make sure Alexx and Calleigh didn't see you guys first.  I told him Wolfe was back."

"That's good I guess," he said.  They walked off onto the lab floor and he looked around.  "Damn," he muttered, cracking Eric up.  "Tell me she got better taste after you slept with her?" he asked him.  Eric gaped.  "Of course you did, Eric."

"She tried," he admitted.  He pointed.  "Conference room to the right and up the two stairs."  They walked that way and he texted Horatio they were there.  Then he closed the blinds.  Before someone saw and threw a fit.   Like Alexx.  He could hear her up the hall.

Horatio walked in and nodded at Ryan.  Then he caught sight of Tim.  "Speed?" he asked quietly, staring at him.  "I..."

He shrugged.  "Xander accidentally got possessed by me in the cemetery.  Someone sneezed me up a new body.  Just cleared for field work last month."

"I, um...."  He closed the door and held it shut, making sure the shade was down as well.  "I can see this is going to be...interesting."  Speed nodded.  "Welcome back."

"For the case," Speed corrected.  "Ryan and I both, H."  He stared him down.  "They need us."  Horatio stiffened and nodded a bit.  So they'd fight about that later.  He opened the file.  "Okay, we have three logical things it could be and one thing that it might be but it's a bit farther fetched.  Has anyone caught the thing on camera?  Of any sort?"

Horatio shifted the bad thoughts he was having to the back of his mind.  "We've checked the local areas.  We haven't been able to find them on any sort of camera.  They've been avoiding areas that have them."

"Then these two make more sense," Demetria Dorrens, the team's leader, told him.  "Or it's a human who's smarter than average.  Have you found anything that was definitively point to a human or demon doing it?  Slime, hairs, anything?"

"We have very little trace evidence," Horatio said, handing over the file he had been carrying.  "This is all we have so far in the way of evidence.  Including better pictures to compare against."  He sat down, looking Ryan over.  He looked healthy, well, tanned, and happy.  Speed looked the same but he looked nervous.  Now he understood why he was to keep Calleigh and Alexx away from the team for right now.  He'd need to break this new knowledge to them very carefully.

Ryan took the evidence folder from Demtria.  "This pepper looking stuff.  Did it come up as anything in the machine?"

"No.  It came up unknown but biological."

Speed looked over his arm.  "Do we have a good sized sample?  Abby's been busy figuring out new tests to tell demons and others apart.  She's got some interesting work done on slime."  He went to get it for them.  He looked at the others.  "Sorry, guys.  I don't mean to drag you into this soap opera."

"Not a problem.  It's got to be hard for them," Demetria promised, patting him on the hand.  She took it back.  "What's this fiber do you think, Ryan?"

He looked then smirked.  "I think that's silk."  He checked the pictures, handing one over.  "We might have a half-breed. Look at the precision of the cuts.  No sloppy work, no shaking.  Some demons can do that but not most of them.  Even magical runes drawn for spells would look different if drawn by a bigger or smaller hand."

Speed measured.  Then his own when he drew them onto a paper.  "The hands are probably a bit smaller than mine.  Could it be female?"

"No, the file says they dragged the bodies," Ryan told him, letting him see.  "Even with the pulley system they used it's going to take some strength or a winch.  No evidence of a winch that I'm seeing so some strength to haul the two-hundred pound body up."

Someone walked in with a box.  "Horatio had me pull the evidence on these killings," the blonde woman said cheerfully.  "I'm hoping you guys have a clue since we don't."  She smiled when she spotted Ryan.  "Welcome back."  She spotted Tim and stared, mouth slightly open.  "Speed?" she asked hesitantly.  He nodded.  "How?"

"Someone sneezed me up a new body after I possessed someone."

"Ryan?" she asked, sounding  hopeful.

"No, Xander.  It was an accident on both sides."  She hauled off and hit him, making him duck the second slap.  "Hey!"  He scowled.  "I'm trying here, okay?  We can talk after we get this thing."  She stomped out.  He sighed, shaking his head.  "That's going to be bad."

"We have body armor in the bags if we need it," Demetria pointed out gently, patting him again.  "It'll be okay, Tim."  She took the box to get into, handing Ryan the fibers.  He looked then nodded.  "Silk?"

"Definitely a silk blend.  It's marked on it."  He went over the other contents of the box, finding something.  The pepper looking sample was odd.  He frowned at it.  "Slime based?" he asked, handing it to Tim.

Who held it up to the light.  "No.  Not slime based.  Looks like cooking oil based.  We can test it."  He frowned, opening his field case kit to pull out some testing equipment.  What he found was interesting.  "Looks like hell-spawned residue.  It's coming up positive for nightshade and sulphur."  Ryan looked through the books while Speed resealed the sample.  The others gathered what they could and figured out how to trap it.

"Found it," Ryan said.  He slid it down the table to the others.  "Calling it up to have it fed for power.  It's a long term contract."

Tim looked it over, nodding slowly.  "Then we can capture the person doing it and then deal with the demon through them."

Demetria looked at her planner, who nodded and took it to look over the full information they had, including texting back to make sure there wasn't a weakness they'd have to deal with.  She looked at the doorway since someone was watching them.  "Ma'am.  DCIS."

She nodded.  "I heard," she said calmly.  "Timmy?"

He looked over at her.  "I got sneezed out of someone when I accidentally possessed them.  The young witch was very nice when she gave me a new body."

She walked in and tried to swat him.

"Hey!" Ryan said, getting between them.  "Not the time, Alexx.  Do it later.  When we've got this solved."  He stared her down.  "He's just been cleared for field work.  He hasn't been back very long.  He's still getting used to things.  Fuss, swat, and beat him later.  Let us get the thing that's killing officers first."

She lifted her chin, staring at him.  "You've gotten more ballsy," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, dealing with twenty slayers who're teenagers lusting after most of us does that," he shot back dryly.  She gaped.  "Smack him around later.  Let us catch this person first.  Before they get another one.  Please?" he finished more quietly.

She nodded.  "I'll expect to see him tonight after shift if you're not on a stakeout."

"I'll be here," Speed promised.  "Until the case is done with."  She glared.  "I owe them, Alexx, and they need me.  They need my skills and my mind.  I do a lot of good with them."

"We'll see."  She stomped off, going to cry on Horatio for a bit.

Tim called Xander's phone.  "No one's having a vision of disasters, me dying again, nothing like that, right?  You don't feel the need to come to Miami just in case?"  Xander quipped something and he smiled.  "You sure?"  He nodded.  "Thanks.  Let me know if they do come."  He hung up and looked at the others.  "So far nothing."  They smiled and got back to work.

Ryan looked at the ritual.  "It says she had to catch them doing something against the natural order."  He frowned, taking the file to Horatio's office.  "Question," he said, walking in and closing the door.  "Is anyone on this list under investigation?"  Horatio glared.  "It's more common to sacrifice someone if they're an oath breaker, done something wrong, stepped over the line, that sort of thing.  Even being a bully.  The one we're pretty sure is doing this has a clause that said they have to be going against the natural order and rules," he finished more quietly.  "So that or gay is my guess."

Horatio was still scowling.  "I can check.  Is that often a factor?"

"The thing we think doing this is a human using them to feed the demon he or she's calling on for power.  If we're right, the pepper looking stuff is what that demon's leaving behind.  This demon can't eat anyone quote-pure-unquote."  Horatio nodded slowly.  "It says against the natural order, which could be as minor as dying their hair in some cases.  Sometimes the demon's not that picky.  Some of them are very picky.  We're researching to see if this one is or not."

"So we need to know if anything about them would fit that unnatural clause.  Do we think we already have a copycat?"

"A few of the pictures looked a bit different.  It could've been who took them.  That's why I wanted to know."

"I'll check quietly.  Would they naturally be targeted?  Other officers?"

"No.  Actually, being impure in some things can make you less vulnerable but some of the higher ones need you to be impure.  They can't touch pure things.  It depends on the demon.  Consider each one a serial killer with a specific method.  Some want holy icons, some hate holy icons, some don't care either way.  My second overall case had one that could only eat people who wore polyester blends," he finished dryly.

Horatio smirked a bit, nodding some as well.  "That is something to consider.  You'll tell me before you go out to find them?"

"Of course.  We might need to look up a few samples in the labs. That's why all teams have at least one CSI on them.  Technically this is my team but Tony decided to send Tim since someone suggested he could handle it and his team was up for the next case, but limping after PT."

Horatio nodded.  "I know the shock was unintentional."

"He told Alexx to beat him later."

"Probably a certain thing," he agreed.  "Let's see what I can find out."  He walked him back there to get the specifics of why his officers had been chosen.  Then he went to talk to Internal Affairs.  "Rick," he said, finding him in the hallway.  "I need to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Because DCIS is down on the case of those officers who got killed.  They have it narrowed down, they think, to what's going on."  He handed it over, pointing at a line.  "We need to know if this fits them or not."

He read it then grimaced.  "Two were gay.  One was squeaky clean."

"Hair dye?"  Rick gave him a disgusted look.  "I'm told that could fit.  Probably being a Vegan or macrobiotic could fit as well since our bodies are technically configured to be omnivores."

"I'll look to see if there's a reason."  He handed it back.  "Who's down on the case?"

"Wolfe's team with one addition."

"Profiler?"

"Speedle."

Rick grabbed the wall.  "Excuse me?"  Horatio nodded.  "I'm staying away from the lab until Duquesne beats him then."  He walked off muttering.

"She's not the one he has to worry about," Horatio said as he went back to the conference room.  "We do have confirmation two were gay officers," he said once the door was shut.

"Then it's pretty certain what's going on.  Now all we have to do is find out who it made the deal with."  She took the book back.  "Boys, any signs of humans?"

Ryan shook his head.  "They're good.  Outside the few silk blend fibers and the smaller than Speed's handwriting, not yet."

"All right.  It'll take about an hour for our research nerds to get something more concrete to us," she told Horatio.  "Let us go check in for now and we can work from there so your people aren't bothered?"

"You can work here.  We'd prefer it."

Ryan smiled.  "I think she wants to kick her shoes off, H.  Plus it'll keep Alexx and Calleigh from going off the deep end and smacking him around some more."

Horatio nodded.  "I'll talk with them.  You can work here.  It'll look worse if you're somewhere else and harder to find you since another's due today."

"Tomorrow," Speed said.  "New lunar month.  If whoever doesn't have a target in mind, they're probably picking them today."

"I'll make sure Dispatch knows to do a random check more often today and tomorrow."  He went to do that, then came back to listen to them work from the next room.  They were a good team and Tim had some good ideas.  So did Ryan Wolfe.  This just meant he needed to make them stay in Miami all the more.  The lab and his people needed them both back.

***

Speed finally got the demon banished.  It had been a hard one to do once it was trapped and Sam had walked him through all the exorcisms and banishments they knew.  It took a very old, very Hun method of banishing spirits to get that one gone.  He was sweating and tired.  Ryan gave him a bottle of water.  "Thanks, Wolfe."

"Welcome.  We could've changed out."

"It focused on me.  I figured it'd come easier."  He opened the bottle and took a drink.  "Better."  He looked at the woman in handcuffs.  Then at the scorch mark on the floor of the warehouse.  "It's been a long few days."  Ryan nodded. "We should head."

"Alexx is waiting impatiently back at the station.  She and Horatio said they want copies of our reports before we leave.  He sent Calleigh to make sure at least you make it back there."

"He wants us both back, Wolfe."  He walked out with him.  "Gone," he announced.  Demetria clapped.  "Thank you.  I can't believe we have records of how the Huns banished spirits."

"Those Watcher guys had a lot of stored information.  They wrote most of the books," she said dryly.  "I'm glad we have their library at the office."  She nodded.  "Let's go write reports.  We'll guard you two."  That got a nod and they got into the rental car, heading back to the office.  One of their team had stayed to coordinate information with the lab.  Also to make sure they wouldn't be ambushed too heavily when they tried to leave.  They got back there and went into the conference room to do their reports, frowning at the laptops while they typed.  "Do we make it politically correct, something the DA can use, or should we write a real report?" Demetria asked finally.

"I'm writing a real report," Ryan admitted.  "I'm sure the DA saw the demon riots like everyone else.  She can weed out what she doesn't want to know."  He frowned and spell checked a word.  "We need better spell checkers.  Half of the stuff I misspell isn't going to be in there."

Speed lead over.  "Aea."  Ryan fixed it in the whole document and he got back to his own.  Demetria let him proof hers as well, making him fix her typos too.  "The demon's name has 'aea' in the first syllable."  They all groaned and fixed it.  He handed hers back.  "Not bad.  Bit brief."  She grimaced but filled in a few spots for better clarity.  He finished his and traded with Wolfe, taking his to grammar correct.  He was good about most things but now and then he had a shift tense.  He finished his and handed the laptop back, taking his own back.  "Thanks for putting the corrections in parenthesis, Wolfe," he said dryly, shooting him a dirty look.

He grinned back.  "There's only six."  He printed his on the room's printer and stapled it then the others that came out since he was next to it.  They piled them in the center of the table and gathered things back together.  Their bags were in the rental car since today was the day they were going to get the demon - it'd make it easier for a fast getaway from those who wanted to keep Speed.  Speed walked out in the middle of the pack.  They didn't expect the gas in the elevator.

***

Speed woke up and blinked.  "What the fuck?" he muttered.  He looked around the familiar room.  Then at the body next to him.  He nudged him, getting a displeased grunt.  "Wake up, Wolfe."  He snapped awake.  "H's house," he said at the confused look.

"Never been here."  He stood up and looked at the door.  "Not locked."

Speed found his shoes and handed Ryan his.  They slid into them and tried to the door.  Sure enough, not locked.  They walked out together, running into Alexx.  "Hey."  She slapped him.  He winced.  "I didn't want to hurt you more, Alexx."

"I do not care, Timothy Speedle!  I am beyond pissed at you both for leaving!"

"I died, I didn't leave," he complained.  She sniffled.  He toughened himself up, pulling up some of Xander's stubbornness that he had inherited.  "I'll write and we can visit, Alexx.  I promise."

"No.  You're not leaving."  She glared at Ryan.  "Either of you."

"That's kidnaping a federal agent," Ryan pointed out gently.

"Not anymore you're not."

"I doubt Doctor Jackson would take our called-in resignations," Speed told her.  Danny was more likely to send Xander and a strike team down to get them if they tried that move.  "I'll be seeing you very soon, Alexx."

"No.  You're staying.  Horatio and I agree, you need to be back here.  You were happier here."

He shrugged. "I'm actually pretty happy where I am.  We have some really interesting cases.  We do a lot of good work before people die usually.  I'm mentoring some of the slayers we have training on the same base.  It's a good job.  We could actually use you.  We've been looking for someone who could do forensic autopsies."

She scowled.  "You're not going back."

"Mama, please," he said quietly, giving her a begging look.  "I don't want you to get in trouble for this."

"They don't need you!" she shouted.  "We do!"

"No, you want, you don't need.  Otherwise you would've all died after I did."  He moved closer, giving her a hug.  "I'm sorry I died.  I really am."

She hugged back.  "That's why you're staying."

"I can't stay.  I'm under contract for the rest of this year."  He pulled back to look at her, then at Horatio, who was in the kitchen.   "Is the rest of our team gone?"

"The pilot had no reason to wait since you're staying."

"We can't stay, H," Ryan told him.  "We signed contracts saying we'd be there through at least October of this year."

"If we don't go back in a timely manner, they'll send Xander and the slayers after us."

"I can defeat any little girl," Alexx assured him.  "Even them."  She glared at him.  "You're tired."

"I wasn't until I was gassed," he said dryly, glaring at Horatio.  "Kidnaping federal agents?  Stetler is going to have your ass, man."

"No he won't.  He approved."  He handed them both plates.  "Here, you two need to eat."  The door slammed inward and men rushed in.  "Get out of my house," he ordered, pulling his gun.  They tranq'd him and Alexx then drugged Ryan and Speed.

"Oh, no, *so* not happening!" a female voice said as she strolled into the house.  "Who're you idiots?"  She removed a mask and that one fell to dust.  "Hmm. Freaky shit.  Yay us."  She kicked the rest of them until they dusted then patted Ryan on the head.  "Morning, dear."

"Still not sleeping with you, Faith," he moaned, letting her pull the darts out.  "Who were they?"

"Dust inside their uniforms.  No clue yet."  She pulled Tim's dart and woke him too.  "Hey, handsome.  You ready to hit that?"

"Not with you but sure."  He looked at the other two.  "I...."

"They're family.  I hear a lot about that," Faith said dryly.  She removed their darts too and woke Horatio up.  "Feel damn lucky since they weren't our folks.  Others want him too.  At least with us, they're protected."  She helped him up then got Alexx up.  "C'mon, boys.  Let's hit the road.  Xander had a real vision and it freaked all the girls out."

"Another invasion?" Ryan asked.

She shrugged.  "Don't know.  I was down here by then.  Heard it from B.  Even she's freaked."  She looked at Alexx.  "We girls take very good care of Timmy.  He's a good guy and one that the younger girls can look up to and at now and then."  Ryan snickered at that.  "Which one tried to crawl in with you anyway?"

"Tiff.  The one in seclusion."

She rolled her eyes.  "The girl has little brains."  She looked at the officers again.  "You can visit.  We don't mind visits.  It makes the guys happy and the girls like them to be happy eye candy."  She smirked a bit at Alexx's horrified look.  "We've got twenty-three girls under the age of eighteen on base.  Of course they look, woman."  She looked at the guys.  "Let's go.  I called Demetria and she said your bags were with them."

Speed gave Alexx a hug, then wrote down the address for her.  "I'm here.  My team's on rotation for bad cases but I'm usually there.  Now and then I have to leave base so call first.  Come visit?  I'll come back and visit this Christmas?"  She sniffled.  "Please, Alexx?" he begged.

"I'll make sure he has time off, Alexx," Ryan told her.  "The boss isn't mean.  As long as it's not a bad thing, it's all good to him. We can probably even use the agency discount for cheap airfare for him."  She hugged him too.  "I miss you too.  Did you get my last letter?"

"I did but it's not the same."

He grinned.  "Then come work with us.  We could use a few good doctors and the girls could use a mother figure beyond Abby.  She's a great big sister but she's never had kids so she can't always answer the mom questions."

She shook her head.  "We'll see."  She hugged Timmy again.  "You behave."

"He's not going," Horatio told her.  He glared at Faith.  "I can charge you."

She giggled.  "And they can charge you for kidnaping an agent.  That's not gonna look real good on your lab and you're way too pretty to make it in the slammer.  You'd have to find a protector real quick."  He shuddered at that.  "Got it?"  Horatio backed off.  "Good.  Then let's get these two to safety before whatever sent those minions tries again.  If you need us, call us.  We can send 'em back for a few days if you guys need 'em.  Danny said so."  She walked them out to the rental car, tossing Ryan the keys.  "I do better than Buffy," she told Speed when she saw him looking over the car.

"Barely," he agreed.

"Hey, I didn't hit a single demon on the way here.  I deserve special time for that."

"Just don't get so loud the guards come tell us who you were thinking about," Speed said as he got in to drive.  He waved and they headed off once everyone was buckled up.  He was not going to die in a car accident.  So when the vision hit him, they all got out and watched the car explode.  Horatio was there a few minutes later.  "Not a clue," Speed told him.

"Probably the same people," Faith said.  She hummed.  "Guess that's gonna be expensive since I had Tony's card."

"Not our fault they blew it up," Speed said, patting her on the back.  "Call Dawnie?"

"Calling D," she agreed.  "Yo, us.  Got 'em.  Someone tried to snatch 'em from their friends and then blew up the rental car."  She smirked.  "Don't let Tony have a heart attack.  He's too cute and that Gibbs guy would come storming out again.  Sure.  We're here."  She hung up and opened the locket she wore that activated the locating spell.  The portal opened and they stepped through.  She waved with a grin.  "Come see us, we get lots of snow."  The portal snapped shut behind her.  "Hey, D, thanks for the pick up."

"Not an issue.  I wasn't doing much anyway."  She went back to her homework.  "What happened?"

"Don't know," Faith admitted.  "Gotta go talk to the boss.  The vision thingy?"

"Bad, but not riots bad."  Ryan sighed in relief.  "He got another one about prom shopping too."  She smirked at Faith, who walked off giggling at that.

"That's more horrifying than the riots were," Speed agreed, following behind her.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"Thank you, Dawn," Ryan agreed, giving her a quick hug before following.  He even emailed the plane to say they were fine and back on base so they wouldn't have to worry.  It was going to be a long time before they could step foot in Miami without fear of kidnaping.  A very long time.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: New Roles to Play.

Tony looked at the sheet on Danny's desk then nodded.  "Let me start searching for that."

"I have a few in mind," he admitted.  "Including some of the people from my base.  Janet would do really good here."

"She'd freak out at the demons," Tony said dryly.

"She didn't at the aliens."

"Uh-huh."  He walked off, going to do the search anyway, just in case Danny couldn't steal her since she was still military personnel.

Danny smiled, shaking his head.  His second-in-command fussed too much.  He really did.  His third-in-command too since he could hear him fussing at the girls outside.  He rolled his chair back to the window to listen then nodded.  The girls had been hitting on the agents again.  He was chewing them a new one.  That was nice of him.  Some of those girls did freak the agents out.

***

Daniel walked into the office/meeting area and cleared his throat.  "Is the head doctor here?  His manager said I could talk to him for a few minutes."

"He's in the office area," the female resident said with a point.  "New case?"

"Not exactly."  He walked that way, seeing the unhappy looks he was getting.  "Doctor House?"

"Of course I am.  You already knew that though."  He looked him over.  "Not military?"

"Civilian contractor and now in another agency."

"Case?" he asked.  "Shut the door."

Danny shut the door and came over.  "I need to see if you know someone who can help me or if you might be able to help me yourself."

"With...?"

Danny handed over three charts.  "My people have had those sort of cases and injuries recently."  He sat down, watching him read them.  "My agency's head doctor is retiring to private practice since she's pregnant."

"Your...agency?"

"I'm the head of DCIS, Doctor House."  He smiled.  "Daniel Jackson."  House sat up, staring at him.  "Heard about my papers?"

"A bit.  Did you find them?"

"No comment."

He laughed.  "Typical.  Your agency handles those things that happened in LA."

"And lesser issues.  We're the ones keeping those creatures from being harmed by humans or from harming humans.  We go on the legal code, we're not a hunting team, but we do have a fully stocked medical unit thanks to things like strange poisons, slime that eats skin, regular injuries from fights, and the usual health needs of my people.  I figured if you couldn't then you'd know who to ask."

He nodded.  "Not a bad supposition.  I'm not exactly happy here but it's home."

Danny smiled.  "Including the detective that's been harassing you?"

"You know about that?"

"I do.  I also know that we can talk to the judge and you doing six months with us and helping us find the next head of our medical team would be good enough for him."  He smiled.  "Without having to ask for favors.  The judge saw something wrong with the whole situation when it was explained by a coworker of yours.  He has to act within the law but he sees that you're not exactly totally at fault."

"And you know this how?"

"One of my people's cousins golfs with the judge over your hearing.  He asked for information when I narrowed my list down to you or someone you'd suggest."

"That's a bold move," he said sarcastically.

"It is, but it's mutually beneficial."

"I have trainees."

Danny nodded.  "So do we.  All those girls are on base too."

"Charming."

"They like to squeal, pounce, and hit on my agents.  Most of them are teenagers."  He smiled.  "I won't lie.  DCIS is like a family.  A very large, disorganized, freaked out family most of the time.  My recruitment people made sure of it.  Or as the girls say, Xander and Tony hired for eye candy."  House tried not to laugh at that.  "They're teenage girls.  We have a full base to ourselves.  The medical pod is in a safe area.  It's not usually hard work.  Those three cases happened within the last month.  We usually see normal small combat injuries, a broken bone here and there, a head injury from someone, and every once in a while we get a worse injury."

House went back to reading.  He waved the middle one.  "Can I copy this?"  He nodded.  "Foreman!"  He came walking in.  "Compare this against the poisoning case we had last week."  He took it to do that.  "We treated it with what we could but we had no idea what was poisoning her."

"That one, if I remember right, was a saliva infection."

"Eww."

"Now and then, yeah."  That got a head shake.  "We need someone of your caliber or someone with your qualifications.  On the back of the last chart are the qualifications my present one drew up.  She's leaving in a month.  I need someone by then."

He looked at them.  "I've had a few trainees who could do the work."  He looked at him.  "But you don't want me to suggest."

"No, I don't," Danny said honestly.  "I think it's a pity that a man with your skills, training, and knowledge is being screwed with by the system for having an issue."

"Will my...issue be a problem?"

"As long as you have your own dosage under control and you can get one of your minions there to prescribe, I don't care," he said honestly.  "You're clearly not a junkie.  If you were, you'd have other issues and would've been fired by now."

He nodded.  "I'm not.  Just now and then the pain gets worse."

"Of course it does.  The regrowth process and the inability to regrow those destroyed muscles in your leg would cause pain.  Not to mention overstressing it on duty and things like that."

House stared at him.  "That was a thorough background."

"I spent yesterday lurking around to watch you.  That and my third-in-command got the full records by sleeping with the judge's assistant.  She's demonic by the way."  House moaned.  "They all seem to be drawn to Xander," he said dryly.

"Then he's probably in the right place."  He stared at him.  "Six months?"

"Six months, or we can do one for a year or eighteen months if you prefer.  You can even bring your students but they'll be really bored.  So will you now and then."

"I am here when strange cases don't show up."

"My staff feels the same."

"My bike?"

Danny shrugged.  "We're in North Dakota.  As far as I know they haven't outlawed racing bikes."  That got a smirk.  "I will give you the standard new person warning: the girls squeal and pounce, and a few pinch."  House laughed at that.  Foreman came back in.  "Was it?" Danny asked politely.

"It was.  What was that?"

"Demon spit," House told him, taking it back.  "How do you treat it?"

"We're working on the manual.  We have a few books with some remedies in them, not all are good.  My former head of the department was working on that with my head of RD, Abby Scuito."

House frowned.  "I know that name from somewhere."

"She's the forensic goddess out of NCIS in DC," Danny told him.  "Goth girl, pigtails?"

"Oh, yeah, met at a convention a few years back I think."  He shrugged.  "Why me?"

"You have the skills, the time in, the mind that we need.  If you don't want to stay, you can help me find someone who can do the work and won't have a nervous breakdown.  Most of the time medical personnel sit in the base to wait.  Now and then, if we have another situation like the one in LA, you'd be expected to head out to help.  We also get consults in from across the country and the UK when demonic related cases show up there."  He pulled out a thumbnail drive and tossed it over.  "We've gotten that far in how you treat various slimes, poisons, and the like.  Some is herbal, some isn't.  A few things you have to have chanted over then something used.  I'd rather have solid, medical science to base things off of than ten thousand year old herbalism if one of my people's lives are in jeopardy but now and then that's the only way."

House played with the drive.  "Six months?"

"I can get that approved."

House nodded.  "Then let me think tonight."

"Sure.  I'm at the Hilton."  He stood up with a smile for the smirk he got.  "Not much better around here and my last posting was military.  By the way, if you need it, I'm a linguist.  Some of the books are in some of the strangest languages.  We're working on that."  He smiled and shook his hand, walking out with the folders.

"So, how's the salary?" Foreman asked.

"Six months being on the cutting edge of medical science."  He put the thumbnail drive into the USB port and looked at the files they had.  It had the official contract and offer on there as well.  "Cheeky."  He read it.  "Salary's ten grand more a year than I make here.  A full staff to terrorize, a whole base of people to terrorize."  He got into the 'how you treat it' manual and found the saliva from the poisoning case.  "We only missed one step."  He printed it out and handed it over.  "Their version of the cure.  Compare it to ours."  He went to do that while House read.  A few hours later his team went home when nothing new came in.  Wilson came in to check on him when he headed for home.  "Did you talk to them?"

"Who?"

"Doctor Jackson at DCIS?"

"No."

"He said someone talked to the judge, gave him the whole story."

"That I did do."  He smiled.  "I don't want to see you locked up for being in pain, House.  Just helped for where you're starting to get out of control."

"I got offered a job."

"I heard someone came to recruit.  Cameron was pouting."  House waved him over, letting him see what he was reading.  "Wasn't that thing one of those things attacking LA a few months back?"

"It was.  Their head doc is retiring to be a mother and do regular work."  He looked at him.  "North Dakota."

"Pretty country."  He got into the webserver and pulled something up.  "Their site has pictures.  I was drifting around it to see if they had anything that might eat tumors the other day."  He patted him on the back.  "Better than rehab and you'll get to terrorize people.  Maybe they'll have something better than vicodin."

Someone tapped then walked in and put down a vial.  "All natural, non-addictive, can be used up to six times a day if necessary, four is the usual dosage and we've had people with broken ribs who could handle it on two."  He handed over a folder.  "The one that just came in and we have no idea since it's a normal issue."

They both stared at the young man.  "New intern?" Wilson asked.

The boy grinned.  "Xander Harris, second-in-command in the International Slayers Council and third-in-command at DCIS.  Half the usual recruitment squad.  Danny got called back to base.  Homeland had an issue with someone stealing personnel records."  House stared, mouth slightly open.  "I got so high under practical experience, guys.  I've been doing this now for over eight years."  They shuddered.  "Exactly.  Can you tell our docs if that's a you treat with gold or you treat with radiation?  They're arguing and sent that via Dawn."

He looked at it then nodded.  "You use irradiated gold beads to shrink it then remove it."  He handed it to Wilson.

"Demonically caused?"

"No, just found in one of the guards.  They need to know if they have to send him off or if we can do it on base."  Wilson stared at him.  "We have a full medical pod set up under the main building.  Everything we would need up to and possibly including brain surgery.  Except things like the tiny surgical robots and I'm seeing if I can build some of those.  Our last person said we didn't need them.  We hope."

House shuddered.  "How bad is the worst injury you've seen."

He considered it.  "My former team's leader got nibbled on by a fifty-foot demonic snake during an ascension in Seattle.  He had bite marks with poison and sealing spit around his torso and a head injury.  That's the worst I personally know of.  I'm more the cuts/bruises/head injuries/small combat injuries sort.  My team pulls the seriously hard or dangerous cases that have to do with weapons most of the time.  Or witches."

House shuddered.  "That's not a bad injury."

"The saliva sealed in the poison and an ascension is a rare enough thing that we had no idea how to treat the poison.  The saliva took ten hours to get rid of."  House nodded at that.  "We fixed him, got him back in time for the LA invasion, and he retired after being clawed on the gut during that.  He's the FBI liaison now."

Wilson shuddered.  "That's gross."

"Very."  He looked at him.  "Should we send him out?"

"Does North Dakota have a good cancer center?"

"One pretty highly rated one three hours away," Xander admitted.  "He doesn't want to travel.  That's half the issue."

Wilson handed it back.  "I'd get with the doctors at that center, let them tell you how to treat it there.  They might be able to send things to your clinic instead of having him there but he'd probably have to go in for MRI's and CT's."

"We have both," Xander assured him. "Though the CT sounds like it's grinding now and then.  We've got the service people coming out tomorrow afternoon."  He looked at House.  "I put the standard offer and contract onto his thumbnail for you."

"I saw.  It's generous."

"The apartments are nice and you'd have the last single person's one if we go soon.  The building's kinda full.  They're talking about moving some of us over to the married quarters to get new ones open.  I will promise you won't have to deal with my girls very often.  Handing them their pills and yearly exams mostly.  Some shots for school maybe."

House nodded.  "It's not a bad offer.  What's the bad side?"

Xander grinned.  "We'll drive you insane.  I'll be honest about that.  Abby might too but she's been testing things to see how we tell one species' slime from another.  She's rewriting forensics and our docs are rewriting medical science where it relates to demons.  Plus a few things that they found were pretty wrong of the medical community to be doing.  We do have one guard who is pregnant.  Her OB is in town.  We might be called in to handle a town person's injuries if they're too severe since the nearest medical center is about an hour away.  We can lifeflight for them.  We have a good working relationship with the town.  There's a small mall.  Oh, ignore the girls if they try to make you go shopping with them.  We had to ground six of them for tying up their defense and demonology teachers to make them go bra shopping with them.  Though, their father was amused and said it was good payback for letting the girls fuss over him."

House burst out laughing.  "You guys are insane."

"Yes.  But oh well.  Sometimes you have to be to save the world.  Been this way now for eight years since I was surrounded by girls."  He smirked.  "I can promise you a light case load.  I can promise you can do whatever research you want as long as you don't hurt anyone doing it.  We don't care what you wear but if you make the girls drool that's your own fault."

"Six months?"

"If you want.  Whatever Danny said in relation to that.  I'm just the enticement."  He grinned.

"Not into your sort, kid," House said sarcastically but he was smirking back.

"That's good.  The girls might get too happy if I went gay.  They think I date evil things and don't want to have to battle my next girlfriend."

House burst out cackling at that.  "That's bad."

"It is, but they'll learn.  They're young."

"How young is the youngest?  The coverage of the invasion showed teenagers," Wilson said.

"The spell that activated them all to stop the First Evil coming out of Sunnydale called everyone under the age of twenty-three.  Our youngest is about to turn eight."  He smiled.  "She's with a great foster family.  We have two girls still under the age of ten on base.  The rest are older.  We're working on their training and no one can go on patrol until they're fully trained and at least sixteen.  Seventeen officially but they can volunteer at sixteen.  We have fifty-eight fully called slayers.  Twenty-three are field rated at the moment."  That got a nod.  "We think they'll age out at twenty-three.  We're making sure of it next year when one girl switches over."

"It's a good offer," House said.

Xander looked at him.  "Our caf has excellent food and the girls will take over now and then.  They will fuss you to death if you let them.  We're a large family and we could use someone who knew how to stitch beyond me.  I learned how to be a field medic because it was necessary.  You'll have three nurses and another doc under your care.  If you feel that's not enough, you tell us and we'll bring someone else out for you to train."

House considered it.  "I'd have to get it approved."

Xander nodded.  "We can do that whenever.  I know she's retiring in a month, she wanted at least a week to get you up to speed on the things she's found.  She's taking the next four months off so she has time to enjoy being pregnant without all the slayers asking her how it is, patting her on the tummy, trying to make her nap, all that stuff."

"The girls really do fuss," Wilson said.

Xander nodded.  "They do.  A lot.  We're keeping them as normal as we can.  They're starting normal school this fall.  That's why some need shots and a few need boosters anyway."  He looked at House again.  "We could use you.  A whole lot.  Plus, hey, sarcasm is an artform we enjoy after having Tim in my head, and my snarky comebacks, and Buffy's witty quips as she slays.  We don't care who you are, just be good and yourself."

House nodded.  "If I can get it approved."

"Thank you."  He pointed at the vial.  "You can test that all you want.  We have it by the case since it works so well.  It even works on the slayers."  He smiled and left.  "I'm at the Hilton next to Danny's room."

"Sure, kid."  He watched him go then looked at the vial.  "Think he's right?"

"I think he's been under it a few times," Wilson said dryly.

"Probably."  He stood up and grabbed his cane and the vial.  "Let's get it tested then we'll see."

"Want me to start dinner?"

"Please.  I'll be home soon."  That got a nod and he left.  House took the vial down to the lab.  "This is an herbal painkiller that was recommended to someone.  Tell me what's in it, how strong it is, whatever you can find out by tomorrow afternoon."  He filled out the proper sheet and left it there, going back to his office.  He found one of his ducklings there reading the manual.  This was amusing and a bit shocking.  This was not the one he'd have expected to come back tonight.  "Not the standard thing you'd usually see."

"No, but I've seen a few of these before."  He looked at him.  "There's a demon commune about thirty miles from where I trained.  They saw one now and then."  He stood up to let him have his chair back.  "Are you going?"

"It's a great offer."

Chase nodded.  "Will you need help?"

"Probably.  I have three nurses and another doc under me if I take it."  He looked at Chase.  "Applying?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"I should know it in case I run into it.  The poisoning clearly wasn't a normal substance."

"Saliva."

"So Foreman said.  It'd also be nice to get out of clinic hours for a few more weeks."

"I'm going for probably six months, Chase."

"So?  It'd keep me out of the crossfire from Cameron and Foreman."  House smirked at that.  "It would.  It's a skill I could use.  I can even live off base."

"You might have to.  They're running out of apartments.  Do you have enough time?"

"I can take some unpaid sabbatical time.  The same as you will be."

"True."  He stared at his duckling.  "Are you sure?"  He nodded. "The guy over recruitment's at the Hilton."  He stared at him for a minute.  "You'd be one I'd send in a few years."

Chase smiled.  "Thank you.  Foreman?"

"Will pout but yay."

"Cameron will pout, House.  She'll also throw fits if we leave without telling her."

"So tell her.  I'm not looking forward to the fit.  You tried to suggest it wasn't a normal substance that would be found in usual households during that case and she sneered at it because it's outside her world view."

Chase nodded. "Which they don't need, but I could use the training and the research is interesting."  He left, going to talk to the guy.  He wouldn't mind signing on.

House smirked.  "That was easy," he told himself.   He might've brought his ducklings but Cameron would throw a fit and scoff until something ate her.  Foreman would be wary and make himself forget as soon as he could.  Chase had an open mind, most of the time.  He'd do good there.  He cleaned up and headed home, smiling at the administrator lurking by his bike.  "Coming to see me off for the night?"

"Who was that earlier?  I heard recruitment rumors."

"That was the head of a federal agency who needed a new head doc," he said happily.  "He needs me to look over their qualifications and suggest someone."  He straddled his bike, putting his cane in its holder.  "They've got high expectations and need brilliance."

"I saw you and Wilson talking to the other one."

"That was his third-in-command.  He's usually on the recruitment detail but the director came personally."  He started his bike and put on his helmet.  Turning around he zipped off, leaving her there to fume in private.  She had started the problem and listened to the bigoted little bastard detective.  Some retribution wasn't so bad.  Fortunately he had taken the thumbnail when he left.  He walked in.  "Should I try to bring Foreman?"

Wilson gave him an odd look.  Then he laughed.  "I want popcorn when you talk to him or Cameron.  Think I can sublet off you while you're gone since I'm on your couch?"

"I don't care."

"Chase?"

"He volunteered."

"That's smart of him.  You guys are more likely to run into anything than I am."  He smirked.  "I'll watch over your ducklings too."

"Thank you.  I wasn't going to suggest Cameron.  Foreman I wasn't sure about."

"He's still trying to make a name for himself.  Since he won't be able to publish case writeups, it won't benefit him.  He's also more likely to go back to being an ER doc than Chase is."  He handed over a plate.  "Food?"

"Please.  I'm starved."  He settled in to eat and watch tv.  "I'll suggest it, just to see his face in the morning."

"Sure.  Let me make popcorn and be in the corner.  I could use some happy fits."  He sat down to eat beside him.  "Why are you watching American Idol?"

"Because it's so horrible.  I need to top off my sarcasm meter before I go."

Wilson patted his best friend on the back.  "No you don't.  You have plenty even for dealing with a lot of teenage girls."  He stuffed his mouth at the dirty look House gave him.  That poor base.

***

Xander walked the two new recruits onto the base, letting them look around.  "The two towers are housing.  The left is single, the right is married.  We're building another unit so we'll figure that out if we run out of room."  He pointed.  "The guard shack, the main building.  The lab's on the second floor, medical pod is underneath it.  Abby's taken over one of the buildings behind the main one to do bigger testing in.  The jail is fully underground and warded so don't worry about them."  He walked them into the main building to security.  "Yo, Boris?  Two new docs.  House and Chase."

"Doctor Jackson said you were coming," he said.  He shook their hands once he stood up.  "Let's get your pictures taken so we can give you ID badges.  You did warn them about your girls, right, Harris?"

"Danny did," he said with a grin.  "I noticed it was quiet."

"Dean told them all to take a nap since they were acting like toddlers at lunch by fighting over things."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "I'll straighten it out later."

"Thank you.  The massive girl pout-a-thon we've had since last night was getting on our nerves."  He took their pictures and printed out the ID's a minute later.  "Okay, here you go.  Do watch out for George if you block his sunlight.  He's been cranky recently."

"No female shrub demons," Xander told him.  "Want housing first or the medical wing?"

"Let's look there first," House said.  "That way we can see if we need to order anything."  That got a nod and Xander led them to the elevator a few feet up the hall.  House looked around.  "It doesn't look too industrial."

Xander grinned.  "I tried when we got here.  I even let the girls paint now and then."  Chase shuddered.  "They do that now for punishment."  He beamed. "It stops a lot of problems and pinching."  He walked them off onto their new floor.  "This is a residential wing.  Formerly for the ones we had in a strange coma for a year."  He walked them past the glassed windows to the main doors.  "Here we are."  He walked in.  "I bring you new coworkers," he called.  Everyone came out of the office.  "No one hurt today?"

"Watching the news," one of the nurses said.  "Tony had to make a statement on his last case."  Xander shuddered.  "It helped."  She smiled at them.  "You're...."

"Doctors Gregory House and Robert Chase," Xander introduced, pointing at them.  "Doctor House is here for six months to take over, and Doctor Chase is his trainee and duckling."  They all looked confused.

The head doc waddled out.  "Followed him around too much?" she teased Chase, who nodded.  "Residents do tend to do that.  I did when I was one.  Doctor House, I've heard of you."  She shook his hand then Chase's hand.  "Welcome to my dungeon of delights and frustration.  Xander, we'll need more of that black slime you found to test."  He gave her a shrug and a confused look.  "Abby said you locked it under your login in the safe?" she suggested.

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "I'll get some tonight."  She smiled and patted him on the cheek. "The girls?"

"You weren't here for them to approve school clothes with."

He sighed and groaned a bit.  "I'm sorry.  I'll go do that tonight too.  Show them around then take them to Cloris?"

"I can do that but she wanted to see you too."

"Heading there after my desk."  He went to do that.  They were in good hands for a few minutes.  He walked into the single's tower and found the manager waiting on him.  "Am I being moved?"

"To the married building," she agreed.  "That way the girls that come to stay on your couch have a better one to sleep on."  He grinned.  "You're next door to Dean and Sam too.  Tony has the other one on your floor."  She led him over there, showing him into his apartment.  He nearly squealed.  It wasn't decorated at all!  "I know.  I kept the girls from decorating on you.  They went to help Sammy."  She patted him on the cheek.  "How many did you bring back?"

"Two docs and a slayer who'll be here tonight."  She walked off laughing.  "Thanks, Cloris.  Do I need to get groceries?"

"Yes, all yours were rotten, Xander."

"Yes, ma'am."  He went to check, making sure everything made it.  He did have to go ask her where his underwear had gone to since it was missing.  Then he had to retrieve it from the girls.  He came out to find House and Chase wandering his way.  "This way, guys.  Cloris!" he called as they walked in.  "Two new docs."

She came out and smiled.  "You're in luck.  We just moved some of them to the bigger tower so we have some open apartments and slayers on punishment doing some cleaning with the maintenance staff."  Xander cackled. "Why are you carrying your underwear, Xander?"

"Because the girls stole them."  He looked.  "I think a few are Dean's too."  He shrugged.  "I'm in the next tower, up on three.  Dinner's in two hours and you walked past it I'm sure.  We'll do the full tour after dinner?"  They both nodded.  "Killer.  Thanks, guys."  He jogged back to his building and upstairs, finding Sammy coming out of his place.  "I had to steal my underwear back from the girls and found what's probably some of yours and Dean's."  Sammy moaned, going to find Dean so they could sort it out.  They admired Xander's new apartment.

"For some reason we have tapestries and unicorns," Dean complained, glaring at his brother for letting the slayers invade their new space.

"They said you're magical because you got Buffy to train," he shot back, cracking Xander up.  "Also so you couldn't put the pornos next to them because they're pure and would be insulted according to Annabelle."

Xander shook his head.  "I love the girls."

"Annabelle's a great girl," Dean agreed.  "She has some strange notions but she's a good girl.  By the way, she wants you to date Messer or Flack."

"I'm pretty sure if they're going to date, it'll be each other."

"That's what I pointed out," Dean said, holding up a pair.  "Not mine."

Sam looked at the size. "Looks to be about Danny's size."  They put it aside.  He picked up one.  "Isn't this Dad's?"  Dean shuddered but nodded.  "Where?"

"In a general bin on their floor," Xander told him.  "I didn't go ask for ones they had in their rooms."

Dean plucked out his other missing pair.  Sammy got handed his. Xander took his.  The rest were put back into the box and brought to dinner.  Dean coughed and waved a hand.  "Guys?  Xander had to confiscate things from the girls' floor.  We know those aren't ours so find your own and take them back.  Then we'll be doing a drawer inspection."  He put the box down on the table, making a few of the guys blush.

"I wondered what happened to my purple boxers," Don said, glaring at the empty girls' table.  They found their own and went back to dinner once they were in pockets and things.

John walked the girls in, watching them squeal and pounce Xander since he was back.  Dean waited until they were all eating to hand his father his.  "Think those are yours, sir."  His father gave him the most horrified look.  Even the time he had brought home a succubus hadn't gotten that bad of a horrified look.  "Xander had to go confiscate his and found those in the same spot on the girls' floor."

John looked at his underwear then glared at the girls.  "I think it's time we had a good inspection."  Most of the older girls blushed but Dawn cackled.  "You?"

"Hell no.  You're not my type.  You're too much a dad, John."  He smiled at that compliment.

"Just think, some year you'll make some nice boy a dad," Xander taunted.  Buffy choked.

"Not for many years," she assured him.  "Because I would scream and rant and blow things up.  Prue said so."  She beamed then ate a bite.  "Hey, Faith," she called when she walked in. "Xander found the panty box some of you girls were keeping."  Faith actually blushed at that.

"We're doing a room inspection tonight for more contraband," John announced. The girls groaned. "I'm sure the guys want their clothes back, ladies, and that's what bad girls do.  Not slayers."

"Bet me, X's boxers are great to sleep in," Faith told him.  "Besides, I stole mine fairly after I slept with him."  She got her own plate and sat down to eat.  Buffy gave her a horrified look.  "I did!"

Buffy checked her forehead.  "No fever.  PMS?"

Faith swatted her.  "I'm perfectly fine, B.  His fit me great."

"Buy.  Your.  Own," John said simply.  Two new guys walked in.  "New agents?"

"Guys, these two are our new docs, House and Chase.  Chase is the young one.  Girls, do not pester them."

"Yes, Xander," they sighed, staring at the new guys.

One of the older ones leaned over to Faith.  "Xander hires better eye candy than even Tony does," she hissed, cracking Faith and Buffy up since she had heard.

House looked over with a smirk.  "I'm more than a pretty ass, ladies.  Mind off it, you're all too young for me."  They pouted but stared at Chase instead, making him blush.  "Ignore them.  They'll get used to you."

"I hope so," he said.

One girl nearly swooned.  "A foreign hotty," she sighed, hugging Xander.  "Thank you."

"I got them for all the times I get banged up, not for you girls," he complained. "Eat.  You've all got inspection tonight."  They pouted but went back to it.  He looked at Chase.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  They're not the first.  I tend to ignore it when possible."  He sat down to eat, back to the girls so he wouldn't have to see them staring.  He caught a very pale young woman with pigtails staring instead.  "Doctor Robert Chase," he said, holding out a hand.

She beamed.  "Abby Scuito, head of RD and the lab."  She shook it and smiled at House. "I guess that'd make you the cranky, surly bastard that even Gibbs said was sarcastic?"  He laughed but nodded.  "Cool.  Come up to the lab next week and we'll see what we've found out about the various stuff we run into that you might have to treat.  Did you get the manual?"

"We did," House agreed.

"Very cool then."  She smiled then leaned closer.  "They're usually very good girls.  I kinda play mom now and then.  So if they give you fits, let me know?"  They both nodded.  "Okay then.  Dig in, guys.  The girls cooked earlier so there's dessert."  They dug back into their dinners, letting the others introduce themselves as needed.

One of the guys leaned out to look at them.  "Docs, do you two need to qualify or get a locker in the armory?" he asked.

"No," Chase said.  "It's been years since I had to use one."

House looked at him.  "Ditto.  I can use a rifle but it's been years."

That got a nod.  "If you want or need, I'm at the blue door from outside or the second right from the front door.  The gym is the third and it's up the hall if you get lost."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Xander, you have to requalify soon," he called.

"Yes, Benny Ray.  This weekend good?"

"Sure.  Fine with me."

"Thanks."  He finished up and got seconds then handed the bowl to Annabelle.  "You haven't eaten hardly anything.  Are you okay?"

"Just tired, Xander."

He tested her forehead with his wrist.  "A bit warm.  See one of the nurses before inspection."  She nodded, leaning against his side.  "It's all right, it's probably just the flu," he soothed, giving her a cuddle.  She fell asleep against his side.  "Anyone else?" he asked Faith.

"No, not yet.  We'll be watching."  He nodded, picking her up to carry her down there. She swatted the girl reaching for Xander's plate.  "There's plenty, don't eat his."  She got some more for herself and took Annabelle's plate too.   Xander came back alone.  "She good?"

"She's fine.  They think it's the flu so they're looking her over.  If not, we'll hear in about an hour.  They'll bring her back to her room."

"I doubt she needs to clean or have contraband confiscated," John said dryly.  "She's one of the cleanest of you girls."  They nodded at that.  It was strange how clean she was.

"Ryan said she's not OCD," Xander assured him.  "I asked."

"Good!"  He went back to eating and looked at the girls.  "Finish up."  They brought out dessert, letting him have some before they put it onto the tables.  The girls inhaled theirs, like usual, and the agents got their own before handing over the rest to the girls.  They inhaled that too and then trudged back to clean up their rooms and pile their contraband on their beds so John wouldn't have to dig through their drawers.  He'd do it anyway but he only had to confiscate sex toys from some of the older girls.

Dawn frowned at him.  "I bought that with my own allowance, John, and I am old enough to own one."  She took it back.  "You'd rather have me jumping some boy?"

"I don't think you need it."

"It's the toy or an actual boy, John."  Buffy leaned in.   "He found my sex toy."  Buffy blushed and walked off shaking her head.  "That or I sneak boys onto the base, Buffy.  Which do you want?"

"That!  Please use that!"

She beamed at John.  "See?"

"Whatever," he muttered, walking off.  He let the other girls over the age of consent take their own back. The rest were still confiscated.  He walked the box of clothes over to the singles' building, putting them down in the rec room.  "From the girls' rooms."  They got up to find their own things.  A few t-shirts.  A few more pairs of boxers.  One pair of bikini underwear with the flap so he knew it was a guy's.  He walked off shaking his head.

"Um, John, some of this isn't ours," Ryan said, holding up the slimline vibrator.

"Give it to Abby.  I took them from the girls under the age of consent after Buffy said the older ones could have theirs back."  He went to take something for his headache, though Dawn was nice enough to give him a hug when she caught him outside.  "You girls are so bad."

"Girls are harder to raise than boys," she soothed.  He nodded, giving her a look.  "It'll be okay, John.  I promise.  Remember, we're starting school so we'll have to set down dating rules soon."

He shuddered. "I should drink for that lecture Dean'll have to give."

"Sammy said you were."

"Sammy's getting his ass beat next week in practice."  He walked off to go hide in his room.  Another girl brought him in some cocoa so he smiled.  "Thank you, Brenda."

"You're welcome.  I'm sorry some of them are so horrible."

"Have a talk with the girls about the dating stuff?"

She looked confused.  "I've never been on one, John.  My watcher wouldn't allow it.  Hell, I wasn't allowed to talk to boys even in class.  He forbid me from working with them on class projects and everything."  He shook his head.  "We'll figure it out."  She patted him and left him alone to talk to his wife's picture about how hard raising them were.  She found Dawn and swatted her.  "Did you have to give him a headache?"

"I gave a logical, reasonable, unhuffy reason why I had sex toys and how I was old enough to use them," she complained, rubbing her new sore spot.  "Not my fault some of the girls were stealing panties and things."  Brenda blushed.  "Xander's?"

"One pair I found in the laundry room that I forgot to give back.  Faith's right, they're very comfy to sleep in."  She leaned closer.  "What do you do on a date?"

"That depends on if you date like Faith and have sex or if you date like Buffy and don't," she admitted.  "I'm not totally sure.  I was having group dates before Mom died, and a few sleepovers with friends, but no real dates."

"I guess we can ask Abby."

"We should," she agreed, walking Brenda over there to ask Abby the important questions.  "Hey, Abby, do you have a few minutes?"

"Let me get the docs set up with what we've found so far," she said cheerfully.  "What's wrong?  More girl questions?"

"What do you do on a date?" Brenda asked.  "My watcher wouldn't even let me work with boys on class projects or talk to them in class for discussions."

"I was only old enough for sleepovers and group dates," Dawn said.  "I said it depended on if she dated like Faith and had the sex or like Buffy and didn't."

Abby scowled.  "We'll work on that."

Chase looked at them.  "You've never dated?"

"No.  The watchers weren't big on that," she admitted.  "It'd take my focus off my training and make me think about things they didn't want their girls to think about.  He only sent me to school when he had to."

"Fortunately, they mostly died," Dawn said cheerfully.  "The rest killed each other off looking for power."  She sat down.  "We *totally* traumatized John.  He had that 'have a headache, gonna drink now' look when I gave him a hug."

"I brought him cocoa but you were the one who argued about getting to keep the sex toys," Brenda told her.

She shrugged.  "My hand isn't good enough and not like I can sneak a boy onto base with Xander and Buffy watching.  I'll never get to date with those two hovering."  Chase saw the bruise and pulled her arm over to look.  "It's fine.  Brenda swatted me."  He scowled at Brenda and she sighed in pleasure.  "It's fine.  I get bruised in self defense class too."  She pulled her arm back gently, earning a smile.  "We're fun and mostly nice.  You'll get used to us.  Even if we do have the one who went bad."  She looked at Abby, pointing at something.  "Doc wanted more of that stuff."

"I made Xander get her some."  She beamed.  "I should start you on lab classes."

Dawn shrugged.  "I'm up for watchery training, Abby.  Whatever Xander and Giles decide that is."

She hugged her.  "I'll get onto them so you can learn."  She got back to her talk about what each one was, what it did, what properties they knew it had.  They listened and asked questions about the properties and what needed to be treated immediately and what you had the time to look something up for.  Then Abby pulled the girls aside to talk about dating.  Because she wanted them to date like good girls, not like Faith used to.  The doctors went back to their apartments for the night after checking over the lab.  It was good they knew how to research and what it was.

***

House found Xander at his desk the next day.  "I've been looking through our medical records."  Xander put down his pen to look at him.  "None of the girls have shot records?"

"The former way was one watcher, one girl, anywhere in the world that might be a troubled area.  If they had any, I'm sure it's in the building that blew up in England but I know a good half of them grew up outside this country, Doctor House."

"We can do an antigen test for some of them.  Do you think they got any?"

"No clue."  He called the library.  "Sammy, ask Giles if he thinks the other bastards kept up with their inoculations please?"  He smiled.  "Doctor House wanted to know."  He listened then nodded.  "Can I get that list?  Thanks, Sammy."  He hung up. "Giles used to be a watcher and he said it's unlikely  they got all the ones the US system makes us take, but they were given a safe travel set?"  House nodded he knew what that meant.  "So they probably had those but I doubt they had hepatitis, chicken pox, the second measles, those ones."

"I can test for the others and some of those wear out after a few years.  How likely is it they'll need them?"

"Slayers who're field rated should be able to leave at a moment's notice if there's a serious problem, no matter where in the world we have to send them to.  Usually in teams now.  Oh, small point I thought of, the former watchers were mostly British so they probably went on their list instead of ours if there's a difference."

"I'll keep that in mind.  What about the HPV vaccine?"

"I'm all for protecting them from anything that could hurt them.  I can get Giles to pay for all the shots."

"Whatever the boss wants, kid."  He stared at him.  "Did you get yours?"

Xander shrugged.  "No clue.  I went to public school but in Sunnydale that's not a highly thought about thing."  Giles walked in with a list.  "That's the list?"

"As I last knew it," he agreed, handing it to the doctor.   "You must be the new one.  Rupert Giles, head of the Slayer's Council."

"Gregory House," he said, snaking his hand.  He looked at the list.  "This is skimpy."

"The old bastards who used to do the job treated the girls like they were expendable resources," Giles told him.

"Giles, there's a new vaccine out that can protect against HPV, the herpes virus, but it can also lessen the chances of cervical cancer," Xander said.

"I hadn't heard about that yet.  Is it safe?" he asked House, who nodded. "Expensive?"

"A bit.  Three doses for each girl and it's about a hundred-thirty for the series where I was working before here."

Giles did the math and winced.  "I would like to be able to save some of it, Xander."

"Take it out of the shopping budget," Xander offered. "They shouldn't need to go again until after christmas.  It could help save them later and it might make it harder for them to catch herpes from some slimy guy some of the girls will be attracted to."

Giles grimaced.  "I'd rather not think about that."

"They deserve a life, Giles," Xander countered.  "They need to be normal girls as often as possible.  That includes dating, sex, and changing their hairstyles weekly."  Giles rolled his eyes.  "They're teenage girls, like Buffy was.  Only we have less combat around here and more training."

"There's some states where that vaccine is now mandatory and this state is trying to make it so," House told him, interrupting what was clearly an older fight about to be replayed.  Giles nodded at that.  "I'm not sure what the boss here has set up for that."

"We can ask.  Danny!" he yelled.  He came out of his office and up the hall.  "Slayer vaccines?"

"If they're not that expensive, I wouldn't care if we stocked them.  We might need them for some of the other agents.  If not, that's up to the council."  Giles nodded at that sensibility.  "How many are we looking at administering?"  House handed him the list.  He winced.  "That's at least ten years out of date for traveling," he complained, handing it back.

Giles sighed. "I know it's a reasonable thing to have to do...."

"To get them into school, they have to have a good, solid shot record and it has to be fully filled out," House told him.  "To get them into college as well and there's another one that most campuses demand these days."  Giles winced at that.  "A one-time expense."

Xander nodded.  "I can ask Wes's opinion if you want, Giles."

"No.  I see that we do need it.  Can we see if they've had any of the others?"

"There's an antigen test.  We'd need to pull some blood from each girl and find a test kit."

"Abby has one," Danny told him. "Which one are we worried about?"

"HPV," Xander said.

"It's supposed to reduce the risk of cervical cancer by up to eighty percent and possibly others," Danny told Giles.  "Girls can get it as young as nine."

"Then we'll arrange for it," he decided.  "They will not be happy."

"We all have to get shots now and then," Xander said dryly.  He coughed, getting and odd look from Danny.  "Stuffy nose last night.  I took medicine."

"Uh-huh.  Is it whatever Annabelle's catching?"

"I don't know.  She's still down there.  Doc?"

"It's not the flu.  We're looking at her blood to see what it is.  It's not serious we don't think.  Nothing contagious.  Just wearing her down."

"Could this have to do with the demon who was sending you and Sam prophetic dreams?" Danny asked Xander.  Who nodded.  "Wasn't she one of the ones you marked?"

"She was.  So that might be a good reason.  It'd get her off campus if she's too sick."

"Fortunately you have me now," House said dryly, walking off, his cane tapping along quietly.  "I'll order the vaccines after we pull some blood to make sure no one got others.  Thank you, boys."  He waved before exiting the squad room.  He ran into one of the young agents outside in the hallway.  "Do you have all your vaccines?" he asked dryly.

"I damn well hope so.  I hate needles," Don said with a grin.  "The girls?"

"Missing a lot of them."

"Well, the guys were bastards.  According to Buffy they fired Giles for being too much a parent and too little watchering.  Apparently he gave too much of a damn.  Then again, they tried to bomb and kill the rest of the girls after the situation in Sunnydale so they'd only have *one* again."

House shuddered.  "In jail?"

"Killed in the lead up to the Sunnydale thing and then dead when they came after the girls.  Xander found the ones trying to burn the younger girls he had come out of town to protect."

"He's not....?"

"No, he said he's a sucker who jumped in to help Buffy.  They tried to kill him a few times according to him.  Supposedly it was one watcher/one girl until death do them part.  Friends weren't allowed."

"Do they give the watchers a pretty dress too?" he asked dryly.

"Don't know if they had some sort of ceremony marrying them together or not," Don said with a smirk.  "Building blew up so we'll never know now.  Only a few left anyway.  Wes, Giles, and Xander.  Xander ran things while Giles was in a coma for over a year.  Some funky magical thing."

House nodded once then shook his head quickly.  "That would've driven us nuts."

"Did drive Doctor Patty nuts," he promised.  "Danny, Messer not Jackson, said she complained about the weekly tests she was running for the first month to find a cure."

"I would've too."  He looked around then at him.  "Anything you guys need that's not being met?"

"Nah, we're all too young for prostate stuff," he said dryly.  "Just watch out for the girls now and then."

"They're not that bad," Giles said as he walked out to join them.

"We had to retrieve our underwear after Xander and John confiscated them, Giles; yes they are."

"Oh, Dear Lord," he muttered, walking off cleaning his glasses.  "I'll talk with them."

"Abby has," Don called after him.  He shook his head.  "He doesn't really get kids," he said once Giles was out of earshot.

"I can tell.  The sex talks?"

"Abby.  Or Xander.  Maybe Faith."

"As long as they're getting good information."

"Hey, run a weekend class," Don said with an evil grin.  "Make the student doc do it."

House cackled.  "He'd try to kill me if I did."

Xander strolled out.  "I did.  Straight from the health department pamphlets.  Abby followed to answer questions about girl stuff and all that."  House smirked at him.  "Hell yes I wanted them warned.  They're teenagers; they're all horny and ready to jump anyone who offers.  I don't want to be a godfather this year."

House nodded.  "They're on something?"

"Slayer blood attracts things.  They're *all* on something as soon as the first one appears."  He gave him a manic grin.  "Because I'm not dealing with slayers with PMS.  Dean either.  I'm not that mean to my worst enemy."

House patted him on the arm.  "We can fix that too.  That's why there's Midol."  He walked off happier.  Someone had some sense about those girls.  Even if he was nearly their age.  He walked into the medical department and looked around.  "We need to run antigen tests," he told Chase.  He handed him the list.  "The most likely versions of what they've been given.  They need up to and including travel ones if they're over sixteen.  They decided the HPV was a good idea too."

"We can order it cheaply with how many we have.  Is Abby young enough to get it?"  House shrugged.  He called her.  "Abigail, Robert.  We're ordering vaccines and the HPV one came up."  He smiled.  "That's good then.  That's what we wanted to know."  He wrote down something.  "We'll keep that in mind.  Thank you, dear."  He hung up.  "The one with the foster family has a good family doctor to see her so she's covered on that."

"Even better.  Are they all old enough?"

"The two youngest are ten this year," one of the nurses said.  "The vaccine information you see in the magazines says it can be given as early as nine."  She pointed at a cabinet.  "The pills they're on.  Only a few are on a different form because the first one didn't work."

"Why not the depo shot?"

"The girls whine," she said bluntly.  House laughed.  "Besides, we thought it might screw something up later.  None of us are OB's, Doctor House."

"Just House is fine," he said.  She smiled at that.  He looked at Chase.  "Did Wilson call?"

"Foreman did.  He's pouting.  Cameron is still throwing a fit that we didn't invite her to come out.  Wilson told her why.  She stomped off to talk to Cuddy."

"Poor woman.  Though I'm not sure which is worse."  He shrugged.  "Let's get them down here for that bloodwork later.  We'll run the standard as well.  Helen, Danny Jackson said something about a demon giving prophetic dreams and she was one of the ones Xander marked?"

"There's a demon who wants some form of special children he's marked.  Sammy's one, Annabelle's one?"  House shrugged.  "I'll look into that.  Thank you.  He might be causing it, so Dawn could help."  She went to talk to the agent over the case.  "Flack?"  He looked up and smiled.  "That case with the demon.  Could it be sending whatever's making Annabelle feel like crap?"

"It could.  It's a pretty high one."  He leaned back, considering it.  "Xander was thinking it was?"

"House said Doctor Jackson said it might be."

"That's not a bad idea.  Check with Dawn and let me know?"  She nodded.  "I'll look at the research to see if it's capable."

"Thank you.  The poor dear still feels like crap."  She headed off to find Dawn and get her to help.  The new doctors watched her look the girl over then lay protections around her.  And Annabelle was back to her usual bouncy, mouthy, hyper self within an hour.  She went back to lunch and then classes.  She smiled at them.  "Dawn's in training."

"That's a neat trick," Chase said.

"Very.  It's very helpful.  It's also an extra layer of alarms on the base."  She went back to the office.  "We're doing our usual soap marathon if you need anything, boys.  Let us know when the girls get here."

"Sure," House agreed.  He looked at Chase.  "Joining in?"

"I don't watch soaps," he snorted.  "That's Cameron.  She suckered me into it once or twice.  That was enough.  Where are we starting on the research?"  House got the notes they had made from Abby and went over them.  He took one category and House took another to start looking at the uses of the byproducts and any adverse effects, plus how to cure them best.  Traditional medicine didn't always work on demon slime injuries.

***

House stopped Xander later the next night.  "It's worse than we thought."

"It usually is when dealing with the old council.  How bad?"

"Ten have had none that we can find."  Xander winced.  "The local school system wants them to have all of them by the first day."

"That's in ten weeks?"

"Twelve.  We can do some every week."

"I have no idea if there's spacing or not, Doctor House.  That's your job.   You tell me what you need and I'll get Giles to okay it."

"There can be side effects, including nausea and those things."

"After dinner, after breakfast, or otherwise?"

"Free days?"

"All weekend except for mandatory self defense Saturday afternoon.  All three classes together.  Most agents come to that one too."

House considered it.  "How about Monday morning?  It's a Monday so therefore sucky already."

"Most of them have classes Monday morning.  ESL or English classes, their history and  geography.  If you want to get up early, they do a daily run at five then breakfast at six so they have time for showers and changing before classes start at eight."

"That might work.  You'd excuse them?"

"Of course."

"Then let's do that," he decided.  "I'm not a morning person but it's only for a bit and I can take a nap."

Xander smirked.  "Neither are the girls, House.  Oh, if no one told you, yes, they all eat their weight at every meal.  They burn a lot of calories."

"A few are still underweight."

"Fashionably so or otherwise?"

"Don't know yet."

"We'll figure it out if it is a fashionable thing instead of them not eating enough.  Let me know.  I'll handle it."

"What does Giles do with them?"

"Research.  Money stuff.  I'm support and training.  Wes handles those on assignment.  Speaking of, I'll have to rotate schedules so you can have the girls on the hellmouth and in LA."

"Will they be coming back here to school?"

"Crissy's starting at UCLA this fall.  Morgan at Cal Sci.  Cordette's got her own doc so I'm assuming if they needed one, Don took them to her doctor.  The girls in Cleveland rotate in and out."

"Then we'll catch them up as they rotate back.  How many are there?"

"Five presently because one's training under Wes to be a field watcher.  Caridad's from somewhere in the Caribbean if I remember right."

"Get me their blood so I can test it for the stuff we can do an antigen test for.  Then we'll see if we need him to get a doctor out there to administer any."

"That'll work," he agreed, smiling some.  "Wes and I did it together while Giles was asleep."

"From what I've seen he might as well be sleeping in the library," he shot back.

Xander nodded.  "He's originally a research guy.  They pulled him out of the British Museum to handle Buffy.  Wes was a research guy too.  That's why Faith handles his patrol schedule."  House moaned.  "The Bringers, the minions of the First Evil, went after all the watchers and slayers in training they could get. We're lucky we have as many as we do."

"I can see how that's tough," he told him.  "Hiring?"

"Working on it.  Right now we're working on field watchers for going out to handle issues outside the US.  Finding the ones who aren't here.  All that."

"Any I should be warned about if they show up?"

"The one from Sudan and the one from Iraq will be here in another month.  She's older and has children so she's going to be bringing them.  She's going to be living away from the other girls as well.  She'll be aging out, if we're right and that'll happen, in about six months."

"But bringing her anyway got her out of harm's way," House said.  Xander nodded.  "Are her kids or her getting treatment?"

"They were in a refugee camp so I'm assuming they've had some.  We've gotten them all the forms they need so it'll be fine.  Once they get here, we'll let you look them all over.  I know the one from Iraq is only fourteen and she was gotten out of a hospital after her house was damaged due to a car bomb.  I heard she's on crutches."

"I'll want their records if they have any."

"I'll let the guys doing it know.  I figure at least she'll have one if not the older girl.  Then we'll see."  That got a nod.  He stepped closer.  "Thank you for not freaking out about Dawn helping Annabelle," he said quietly.

"Why would I?  If that's the treatment she needed then it's not my place to say anything unless it's dangerous."

"Only if Dawn linked herself in again.  So if she's tired or anything like that, I need to know.  I have custody of her."

"I can do that."  He looked the young man over.  "Go eat something."

"I did an hour ago.  I'm just tired, Doc.  A few of the girls had a slayer dream about a situation one of the other agents has on his desk.  I had to help soothe tempers, get them written down, all that stuff, at four this morning."  That got a shudder.  "Someone has to."

"You need to hire more people."

"Well, yeah, but hey, Danny finally got maintenance guys so I don't have to change lightbulbs too."

House walked off moaning.  "I'm doing your physical this weekend."

"Sure.  I'll be on the range all day Sunday so Saturday morning?  I can skip cartoons for an hour."

"That'll work."  He went back to work, mentally shaking his head.  After dinner he went back to his apartment to call home.  "Jimmy."  He smiled, leaning back in his desk chair.  "No, we're good.  It's the easiest, most frustrating assignment I've ever been on.  Right now?  Updating vaccinations for all the slayers.  The old system didn't give very many."  He smiled at his assurance normal doctors did that too.  "On the research side, we've found a few things that work well.  Including a drug that does nothing for any other issue but is still on the market anyway.   No, no bad cases presently.  We hope it won't be for a while.  Yeah, he's good too.  Up the hall in his own apartment.  Not like I was going to let him sleep in mine.  No, we're both fine.  He said Foreman was pouting and Cuddy got Cameron'd to death?"   He listened with an evil smirk.  "You can tell them to quit whining if you want.  No, we're pretty decent."  Someone knocked.  "Who is it?" he asked, pulling his phone away from his head.

"Dawn."

He got up and walked over there, looking down at her.  "It's a bit late for you, isn't it?"

"Not totally."  She held up something.  "The blood from the girls in Cleveland.  Also a question Wes needed to have answered and a sample of a slime he's never seen before.  Two of the girls got rotated back for injuries.  Your hotty little student is tending them and doing stitching, bracing, and hearing them whine about how the two-foot-high demon with claws got them out of patrol."

"I'll head over in a minute."  He took the small case.  "Freshly drawn?"

"Drawn earlier and frozen."

"That'll work.  Thank you, Dawn."

She smiled.  "Bring more hotties.  The girls will like that."  She walked off with a grin.  He was kinda cute, even if he was gruff.  For some reason she liked them sarcastic.  Xander, Dean, Tim, this new one.

House shut the door and grabbed the phone once the vials were in the fridge.  "Still there?"  He smiled.  "Dawn.  Her big sister is one of the girls here and Xander has custody of her.  She's a smartass but she's pretty decent.  She doesn't obviously drool like some girls."  He looked out his window, then shut his blinds.  "No, one of them had a telescope pointed over here.  They're teenagers with rampaging hormones.  They had to do a panty hand back after Xander found his over there.  Sure, come visit.  It's not a bad thing to be out here.  Yeah, piss off Cameron for me and make her do real people things for a change?"  He smiled.  "Thanks, Wilson."  He hung up and grabbed the vials, taking them back to the infirmary.  "Fair warning, one of the girls has a telescope pointed at the residence hall."  Chase moaned, shaking his head.  "Did anyone tell the two watchers here?"

"Not yet."  He looked in the box.  "Blood from?"

"The girls in Cleveland."

"I'll start the antigen tests after I've finished her stitches if you'll do the last cast."

"I can do that."  He pushed a rolling stool over with his foot, looking at the badly bruised and swelling ankle. "How long ago did you break it?"

"Three hours.  We have faster healing.  I'll be fine in a few days."

He stared at her.  "If the x-rays say you are," he told her.  She pouted.  "That look only works on toddlers and kittens.  Neither of which I like to deal with."  She stopped pouting and gave him an odd look instead.  He smirked.  "Better.  Confusion means you know you have something you need to learn."  He pulled over an air cast, probing the area gently.  "Did we take x-rays?"

"Wes had them done. They're hanging up.   She's got a compound fracture in her heel area and two metatarsal bones broken."

"I'm going to start taking Faith's advice and wear combat boots," she pouted.  House checked the x-rays then came back to cast her foot for her.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Should I call the caf?"

"No, Wes fed us already," the other one said with a small pout.  "We'll heal, really."

Chase scowled at her, making her wilt.  "Until you are,  you're not fit for duty.  I doubt anyone will let you go back until you're fully healed."  She whimpered.  "Tough."

"There's others who can and will take over for you," House reminded her.  "They want chances to get killed too."

"Yes, sir."  Xander walked in with Giles behind him.  "Two foot tall and really mean, Xander!" she pouted.

He gave them both hugs.  "They happen.  You two okay?"

"A few broken places, a few cuts," Chase told him.

Xander grimaced.  "Then I'll rotate someone else out to help Wes.  Did you two eat?"  They nodded.  "Then let's hop back to your rooms so you can rest for the next few days, ladies.  I'm not usually that mean but I don't have a golf cart or anything.   You guys can even help George trim his new buds if you want."

"Yes, sir," they sighed, hopping back with him following.  Giles followed along behind them, and Buffy and Faith joined them at their rooms to help them settle in comfortably and hear what happened.

House and Chase shared a look then Chase shook his head.  "I know it's not Xander's doing," he said quietly.  "Xander's always making sure the girls are doing normal girl things from what I've heard."

"It could be the calling, or it might be the old bastards who I hear had them before."

A portal opened and a girl limped through.  "Oh, hey, new guys.  Hey.  I'm Morgan."

"Call Xander back," House said, helping her onto a bed to look her over.  "What happened?"

"Stupid bastards having a clan meeting and poker game that got out of hand."  She blinked at him.  "Who're you?"

"Doctor House.  That's Chase."

"Oh, hey," she said with a weak wave.  He smiled back.  "The girls are going to coo."  Xander rushed in.  "I'm okay."

"Bull.  What happened?"

"Clan meeting and poker game.  We were watching it and it went rabid so we stepped in to calm it down.  Crissy's in very bad shape.  That's why I called Dawn for a pickup."

"Sure, we'll get her.  There?"  She nodded.  "Janice?"  She came out to help him gather Crissy.  Then he came back to get a weapon and go handle the problem himself.  No one touched the girls and hurt them without getting the special Harris Foot Up The Ass of Destiny treatment.  Damn it, they did not need this!  He glared at one demon he left uninjured.  "Next time, don't hurt our girls or create problems for the slayers."  The one whimpered.  "If you have a problem, that's what DCIS is for.  If you don't, then don't drag slayers into it.  No one likes it when I have to act as a watcher instead of an agent."  He walked back through behind Janice and Chase rolling Crissy back.  He called Don from the phone in the office.

"Make sure Cordette's okay?"  He smiled at the news he was staring at her.  "Good.  We have Crissy and Morgan back on base.  That poker and clan meeting turned brutal and they stepped in.  Both hurt.  Who do you want?"  He smiled.  "I can do that.  Thanks, Don.  Be safe."  He hung up and called another number.  "Faith, you, Buffy, and Brenda are to hit LA.  Morgan and Crissy just came back via Dawnie portal after a clan meeting went spastic.  No, they're probably staying in the infirmary."  Chase nodded at that, still working on Morgan's injuries.  "They need you tonight if possible.  So check with Dawn.  Oh, warn her I stepped in as a watcher instead of an agent.  Got a bit pissed."  He hung up and came over to help, getting moved out of the way.  "Fine, I won't do bandages."  He went to help with Crissy, getting a small look.  "I had to do it at home, I can do it here."

"Good to know.  How well do you know your training?" House asked.

"Just past paramedics."  That got a nod and he held one injury down while House taped the butterflies on it.

"How fast is this faster healing?"

"Morgan should be fine in about six days probably.  As long as nothing had a poison.  Nothing I saw there had a natural one so unless they used something on a knife they should be fine."

"Interesting."  He frowned as he worked.  "This bubbling purple stuff?"

Xander looked.  "Snot.  Someone sneezed during the fight."  She made a grossed out face.  "Uh-huh."  Buffy jogged in. "They'll be fine.  Mostly beaten up."

"What happened?" she demanded.

"I finished it," Xander told her, getting scoffed at.  "They're all injured.  They know to come to us if there's an issue instead of having a brawl that draws slayers.  I made sure they knew I was acting on the Council's behalf instead of here.  But there's about twenty of the Gwalfark clan that I got for them."

She gaped.  "Why so many?"

"Clan meeting and poker game," Crissy told her.  "I'm fine.  You're nice but can you quit fussing now?"

"No."  He stared her down.  "Shut up."  She wilted.  "Before I tell the younger girls."  She whimpered and moaned.  "Let me finish up."

"Yes, sir."  She looked at Xander.  "I can go back, right?"

"Soon."

"Yes, Xander."  She looked at Buffy.  "We thought there might be problems, that's why we were watching the area.  The brawl spilled out of the area so we went in to stop it."

She shook her head.  "We'll handle it."  She looked at Xander.  "Why Brenda?"

"John's been doing a lot of work on her skills.  Plus Cordette likes her and will let her know if anything happens.  She's been out there twice so far so she knows the various patrol routes most likely."  That got a nod and Buffy walked out, going to tell Faith.  Xander looked at her.  "Sorry."

"Not an issue.  They'll stop because it's Buffy and Faith, even when they wouldn't because of us."  She patted him on the hand.  "Can I nap?"

"Go ahead, we'll finish up while you sleep."  She nodded, shifting her position a bit so she could fall asleep.  Xander looked at the staring doctor.  He clearly had some questions. "She's lasted longer than the average.  In the old days the girls used to last eight, nine months on average.  Then we find out jumping in helped keep Buffy alive this long.  She'll be fine and she's got a very strong family at her back if she needs to talk about it."

"Does she get to rotate back as often as the others?"

"She and the others know they only have to ask," Xander said honestly.  "These two don't."  He visually checked both his girls then looked at him again.  "They're both under the impression that they have to live up to Buffy's standards.  It's a high peak to reach.  I pointed out they'd have great things said about them, and already do in LA, but they want to live up to her rep."

"That's a high peak for the younger girls and Buffy," Chase pointed out.

"Yeah but Buffy lives to make her own rep," Faith said as she walked in.  "What was it?"

"Gwalfark.  I injured a lot and reminded them people did come when you hurt slayers.  I'm expecting a reprimand in the morning from Danny."

"They'd listen to you because you worked with and saved Buffy," Morgan told him.

Xander looked at her, then smiled, shaking his head.  "Most of the time they see me as a tagalong who ruins plans by bumbling into things.  Their words, not mine.  They watch to make sure I don't go hyena on someone but they don't listen to anyone but Buffy."

"I learned something the hard way, X.  It took prison, going bad, coming back from it, and all that.  I'm not Buffy.  I can't be Buffy.  I'm Faith and that's not a Buffy state.  I'll never be her.  I shouldn't try to be her.   I can be the biggest baddass Bostonian slayer ever.   Hell, there's a fairytale with me in it now in the demon world.  I still can't be B.  She's so far up there she's mythical.  Mostly because she keeps coming back to life somehow," she finished dryly.  "You're a major part of her mythology.  What other slayer had you push your way in and drag Red with you?  Hell, if I knew then what I know now, I'd have walked off with you into the sunset the night you came to try to help me instead of trying to kill you.  It took me a long time to see I'll never be B.  Even if I could quip while I slay.  Even if I could fit into her little hankie shirts and heels.  For that matter, don't really want to be B most of the time.  Angel kinda...broods...a lot."  Xander smiled at that.  "Plus I'd never have ignored you and Red by any means.  Witchy poo wouldn't have gotten away with stealing books with me.  You would've been taught a lot sooner."  She gave him a hug.  "They'll learn like I did the same way I did.  Watching her in action.  She's a mythical creature and we're normal slayers."

"The demons said we weren't you two, we weren't worthy of stopping for," Morgan said quietly.

"I'd smack you but you're already hurt," Faith said with a look at her.  "I don't want you to be me or B, Morgan.  I want you to be Morgan.  Morgan the Vampire Slayer has to make her own name in the underworld.  Which you have.  Even Broods A Lot said so."  That got a smile.  "They also said it's nice how you mother Connor so he's not such a stick in the mud without a clue."  She gave her a gentle hug.  "Demons are dumb sometimes.  Even the smart ones.  If they can't see you're so much better at doing LA than either of us could be, then they're really stupid."  Morgan smiled and Crissy shifted on her bed.  "With that said, how many?"

"I injured about ten to twenty," Xander said.  "Gave one a message.  I'm still expecting a complaint to be made even though I said I was there on Slayers Council business."

Faith smacked him on the cheek. "Shut up," she said with a small smile.  "Or else I'm getting John to lecture all of you, including you, about self esteem."  She walked off.  "Brenda, get hugs, we're heading!" she bellowed as she walked in.  She pulled Buffy away from Dawn.  "Give me a sec."  She looked at her sister slayer.  "They're treating the girls like they're lesser because they're not you.  Morgan got taunted that they would've stopped for us."

Buffy moaned.  "They can't be me!"

"I know that.  Took me a while to see it but my watcher gave it to me, you guys gave it to me, G gave it to me.  The only one who didn't was X and Angel."  She nodded at that.  "Also, heard that Connor's Morgan's boy?"

"I have," she said with a smile.  "Angel's very confused."

Faith shrugged.  "I had to straighten them out but maybe we can let him come visit?"

"I think she'd like that."  She smiled at Dawn.  "Can you?"

"Sure."  She looked at Brenda, who was coming down with John and two bags.  "All packed?"

"John made sure," she said happily.

Faith stared at her.  "You know you don't have to live up to B's standards, right?  Because you're not an undead yo-yo?"  Buffy snickered at that.  "That she's mythical and no matter what anyone says, we're never gonna be that way?"

"I have figured that out.  I'll be the best Brenda the Vampire Slayer I can be while making you senior girls proud."

"Good," John agreed.  "Who did that?"

"The demons this time," Faith told him.  John moaned.  "Morgan got it.  Had to talk to her and Xander since he went Rambo on them to get the girls out of there."  She looked at Dawn.  "Can we?"

"We so can."  She opened a portal, surprising Connor.  "Oh, sweetie."  He dropped his spoon, holding onto the table.  "Not dead, injured," she promised.  "Here.  Buffy and Faith are coming with Brenda."

"Sure."  They walked through and he came back, looking at her.  "Not that bad?"

"Few cuts, a few bruises, a few broken bones," Faith said. "The girls in Cleveland too, Connor.  Thanks."  The portal shut.  She smiled at Gunn.   "Howdy.  Gwalfark?"

"Ooh," Gunn said, wincing.  "They good?"

"Beaten up pretty badly.  Told they would've stopped if it was me and B so let's make sure of it."

"We can do that.  Hey, Brenda."

"Hey, Gunn."  She gave him a hug.  "I think it's so cute Connor's in puppy love.  So, what do you do on dates?  Morgan was trying to tell me but she was giggling."

"We'll talk about it later," Faith assured her, walking out with her and Buffy.  Gunn followed once he had his truck keys.  They'd see if those demons really wanted Faith and Buffy there to stop them.

***

Connor walked into the medical wing and looked, then sighed.  "You get injured too often, Morgan."  She started awake and he stared at her, getting smiled back at.  "What happened?  You know you should've asked."

"It was only a clan meeting and poker game."

"Yeah but their sort start fights at their poker games.  Didn't Angel tell you that?"  She nodded.  "Uh-huh.  I should complain to him so he sulks at you."  She smiled.  "And Alan too."  He came over to give her a hug and a kiss.  "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine."  She pulled his arm until he curled up beside her on the bed.  "Welcome to DCIS."

"That's pretty cool.  I ran into Xander in the hallway."  He cuddled, which was a strange activity to him - it made him feel uncomfortable to be that close to anyone without a weapon - but she liked it and it kept her calm.  He looked at Crissy.  "She looks bad."

"They had to retrieve her."

"Hmm.  I should get Angel to sulk and brood at you two for not calling for backup."  He gave her a squeeze, making her moan.  "Sorry."

"No, felt good."  She snuggled into his chest, letting herself be held.  She loved Connor.  Even if he didn't understand most human things, he was a great boyfriend who understood her duty and what she wanted to do when she aged out of her powers.  She fell back asleep like that.

Chase came out and smiled at the young man.  "She'll be fine."

"Good.  How's Crissy?  Cordette will want to know."

"Xander said he went to call her."

"Even better.  She pouts at me when I tell her bad things."  He shifted and Morgan pinned him, earning a smile.  "Fine, I won't move."  She snuggled in better.  Chase put up the half railing, earning a nod of thanks since Connor couldn't fall off the bed now.  "Buffy and Faith will handle it while Brenda claps.  They're like that."

"I'm sure they are.  If you need anything, the night duty nurse just came on.  She's in the office."  He pointed.  "I'm going back to my apartment.  She'll call if she needs orders or anything too important."  That got a nod.  "Then I'll see you before breakfast."  He covered them both up.  It was clear this was as healing for the young girl as anything medical science could pull up.  He ran into House in the hall.  "Morgan's boyfriend just showed up," he said quietly.

"Interesting.  Sitting beside her complaining?"

"Letting her snuggle on his chest.   She's fully back asleep.  Better than the painkillers did."  House nodded at that.  "I know it's a breach."

House held up a hand.  "Sometimes human contact is a healer on its own.  Even if modern medical science doesn't see that, Chase.  Not that most of our patients need their families in their bed, but it's good for her and he'll sit in the chair tomorrow."  He looked around then at him.  "You've been talking to people more than I have.  Shrink?" he asked quietly.  "For combat stress?"

"There is one here at the base for everyone and he's seen the girls after the two battles."

"Good.  Then someone has sense."  He walked off with him.  "They in?"

"They are.  Night duty nurse is in as well."  That got a nod.  "What were you coming back for?  You don't usually hover over the patients."

"I had to get something from Benny Ray," he said, looking a bit smug.  "You might want to check your drawers.  I found a few things missing."  Chase moaned.  He smirked at him.  "I think they'll be stopping and handing things back however."

"If you're sure," he said, giving him an odd look.  He didn't get to see the playful side of House very often but he had learned to be wary of it.  It usually boded ill for someone when the pranks started.

***

Daniel walked into breakfast the next morning, finding three bright purple slayers, one redfaced Giles, and a sulking Xander.  He pulled Xander up and into the hall, looking at him.  "Why are they purple?"

"House put a dye pack in his drawer to get them when they went on a new panty raid again."

Danny moaned.  "Oooh."

"It worked.  They're not doing it again."

"Good.  Giles' problem?"

"They got caught and were breaking into places.  He decided it's my fault for not having a strong enough leash.  John looked at them and said it served them right and good luck scrubbing that off."  He nodded at Don Flack as he walked past them.  "Um, are we going have the bad administrative talk later?" he asked quietly.

Danny frowned.  "Why would we have one, Xander?  Is your contract coming due?"

"Well, yeah.  That and I had to go and kinda injure a lot of demons last night to get Crissy free.  I said I was Slayer's Council," he said quickly, looking at him. "Reminded them they can come here to put in complaints against other clans and all that."

Danny held up a hand.  "Did you willfully kill them for no reason?"  Xander shook his head.  "Just injured to get her free?"

"I probably could've stopped at the first one."

Danny nodded.  "We've all been in those.  What would've happened if you had only gotten one?"

"The rest could've tried me."

"Uh-huh.  Were they threatening her?"

"One was near her and had something in his hand.  They're both pretty badly beaten up."

"Then injuring them and lecturing isn't as bad as it could be.  If they complain, I'll put you on a few days suspension.  Okay?"  Xander nodded, looking down again.  He tipped his face back up.  "Quit beating yourself up, Xander.  You're not superhuman either."  Xander nodded.  "It won't give us a bad rep.  You helping your girls is one of the things the underworld understands.  You've been doing it long enough for them to."  That got a nod and a still too solemn look.  "Sometimes you have to use violence, even when you don't want to.  Even if it'll cause later problems.  We can figure it out.  It won't hurt the agency."

"It could," he nearly whispered.

"It won't.  The guys who shot the demons for not being valuable didn't."

"They're not Buffy's Helper."

"True, but with your past rep, as I've heard it, I'm sure they're damn glad you didn't just kill them all, Xander."  Xander moaned, turning to rest his head against the wall, shaking it.  "Even if they weren't going to hurt her, it probably needed to be done to handle the situation.  I want a report on what happened.  All of it."  Xander nodded, looking at him.  "Good.  On my desk after breakfast."

"Yes, Danny."

"Good boy, Xander."  He smiled.  "I don't expect the same sort of ways of dealing with things as people like Ryan and Flack use.  They're cops, you're not.  You handle things like Dean and Sam do, you killed and moved on.  I'm very proud that you've adapted to investigating and all that."  He gave him a pat on the back.  "Give me a report so I can have some warning in case something happens.  Including an aftermath if we know it."

"Buffy, Faith, and Brenda went.  Morgan's boyfriend is here."

"Again, perfectly fine.  Did someone say something about them not being mythical?"   Xander grimaced but nodded.  "Did we straighten that out?"  Xander nodded again.  "Good."  He went in to eat breakfast.  "Rupert, would you please move the telescope on top of your girls' building?" he asked politely.  "Its glinting was bothering mine when I was studying the stars last night."  Giles spluttered.  "They were apparently trying to spy lesser bright spots in the night sky somewhere around the third floor."

"I'll have it removed to the back lot," he said calmly.

"Thank you.  I wouldn't mind if we set up a real place to sit and use one.  It's a calming activity."  That got a smile.  "Any problems with the group that went last night?"

"No, not yet.  Who went?  Xander?"  He walked back in with Dean.  "Who went where?"

"Morgan and Crissy got the hell beaten out of them by some Gwalfark last night having a clan meeting and poker game."  Giles moaned.  "They're in the infirmary. Brenda, Buffy, and Faith went since the demons sneered and said they wouldn't stop for lesser slayers, but would've for Buffy and Faith.  Brenda knows the patrol routes so they went last night and Connor's with Morgan."

"Why?" Giles asked.

"Um, because they're dating?" Xander suggested.  Giles sighed but nodded.  "I like Connor in spite of who gave birth to him and who fathered him, Giles.  He's good for Morgan.  He understands her job and how she'll be feeling when she ages out.  He's been good to her and it helps him get used to human things some more.  They were cuddling earlier."

"I'll have to make sure his intentions are honorable."

"Alan pretty well gave him the shovel talk with pointing out Don used to play baseball so he had bats.  Charlie could be mean if he wanted to, and he'd sic Cordette on him too if he hurt Morgan.  Well, that he wouldn't be able to hold her back from trying to kill him if he hurt her really.  He knows not to mistreat her."

"Very well then.  I'll talk with him later, hear the latest news from Los Angeles."

"Sure.  Or you could hear the weekly briefings the girls send in," Sam offered.  Giles gave him a look.  "They do reports too."

Xander nodded.  "Anytime they deal with a case of ours they have to do full case reports and otherwise they have to keep a journal and do weekly check-ins so we can track movement.  Oh, prophecy coming up?"

"Not that I've seen."

"Interesting.  We've gone a whole six months without one."

Giles looked startled.  "We have?"  Xander nodded.  "I'll make sure later."

"Thanks, Giles."  He looked at the purple girls.  "Serves you right.  I would've used something that made you stink too."  They slunk down in their seats.  He went to his usual seat and sat down to eat.  Sam kicked him under the table.  "What?"

"Cheer up.  The girls will goof off today."

Xander smiled.  "I can't."

"Smile?  I noticed.  What's wrong?" he asked quietly.  Xander shook his head, taking a bite of breakfast.  "I'll listen if you want to talk, Xander."

"I'm good, Sam.  Thanks."

"Welcome.  You can talk to me or Dad."  He nodded.  "Dad's doing another inspection this morning while they're here."

"Poor girls.  But they shouldn't be going on panty raids."

Sam smiled.  "Very true.  Especially when they steal his."  John stomped in and he did not look happy.  He pulled a few of the girls and one of the purple ones out into the hall.  They could all hear the yelling about their bad girl tendencies.

Dawn shuddered.  "Oooh.  Pity them."  She finished her breakfast.  "Xander, want me to run geography?"

"Sure.  I have something I have to type up anyway."  She nodded, heading to handle that for him.  "She's going to make one hell of a watcher in a few years."

"She will," Giles agreed.  He went to talk to the girls himself.  "Liquor?"

"Clothing.  Again.  Only one's had liquor and I made her drink it then taped the drunken behavior.  Then we watched it together the next morning while she had a hangover."  Giles winced at that.  "She learned her lesson, Rupert."  That got a nod of thanks.  "They're mostly good girls.  Is there some sort of hormonal surge that happens around this age?  Faith was saying she had the same thing."

"In some girls the urges to hunt do come out this way.  Most of the time their watchers make them hunt all the more often to wear it out."

"Couldn't have them having boyfriends?" John suggested.

"Indeed.  In these ones' cases I fear we'll have to figure out something novel."

"They start school in eleven weeks.  Maybe they'll find nice boys to date," John told him.

Giles considered it.  "I would rather they not lose focus on their training."

Xander came out to look at him.  "They're still teenage girls, Giles.  Even if they are slayers.  They're going to get down and funky with the boys or girls.  Because a few do like girls.  They're going to wear trashy clothes like Buffy did.  A few might even want to join the band or something.  None of the girls doing this are on field rotation.  They're not old enough.  When they are, it'll even out."  That got a nod.  "You let Buffy date."

"Yes and look what she dated."

"Not my fault you didn't try to break her and Angel up," he said dryly.  "I tried because Angel was an asshole.  She has bad taste.  These might not have such bad taste.   It's just that these are the only guys they have access to right now.  It'll stop when they hit school."  He stared at the girls.  "Though I would suggest it stop sooner."  They all nodded, looking down.  "As of right now you're all in deep shit.  The other purple ones too.  Every last one of you has an extra sparring time with me this week, after dinner.  You're also on for maintenance chores for the next three weeks.  Am I clear?"  They whined.  He glared.  They settled down and one nodded.  "Any others we find after this point doing the same thing will have it just as bad, if not worse.  We're all tired of this.  If the new guys are already stopping you,  you're in deep.  Now, hand back the stuff you stole today, apologize, then put your names on the roster.  I will be checking."  They trudged back into breakfast.  He looked at John.  "Good?" he asked quietly.

"A good punishment.  Very handy and they could all use the training anyway.  So could you."  Giles spluttered.  "He's done good for teaching himself, Rupert.  He's been learning the Winchester way since we got here.  It's helped him a lot too.  Made him smoother and better able to handle a real fight if one comes up."  He clapped Xander on the back.  "You're not a bad kid."  He smiled and went into the dining hall to eat.

Giles looked at him.  "You've been training with them?"

"Yeah.  I kept up with Buffy, I've got to keep up with them and be able to handle it if and when my team gets into trouble the next time.  No matter what it is."  He walked back into there, sitting down to eat.  He looked at his empty plate, then scowled at Dean.  "You eat like a slayer.  Are you really a girl in disguise?"  Sam choked and laughed, letting Annabelle pat him to help him clear his throat.  Dean pouted at him.  "My food."

"Get more!"

"You could have."

"The girls wouldn't let me have any.  I had to snatch if I wanted to eat."  He handed some down when it got handed to him.  "Here, eat more. You hardly ever take time to eat."

"Thanks."  He dug in, finishing his breakfast so he could go type up that report for Danny.

***

House walked into the infirmary, watching the young man jump.  "Good reflexes."

"Who're you?"

"Doctor House.  Head of this infirmary."  He looked at Morgan.  Then he went to get what he needed to check her vitals.  Connor growled so he popped him on the top of the head.  "I'm making sure she's fine.  Down boy.  I don't like them this young.  Or that nice."

Connor scowled.  "I didn't think you were going to hit on her.  Hurt her maybe but not hit on her."

House looked at him.  "Not everything has to do with violence."

"How would I know?  I was raised on a demon realm.  All this human stuff is strange."

House stared at him for a moment.  "Considered therapy yet?"

"Who would understand having two vampires as parents?" he snorted.  "Or being kidnaped and taken to a demon realm to be raised as a weapon against my father?"

"You might have a point there, Junior.  So I'll offer some advice.  Anger leads to the dark side."

Connor frowned.  "You're quoting Yoda at me?"

"You know Yoda?"

"Xander made me sit down and watch it once, and well, I kinda, um, went back to see it again.  I wouldn't mind being a jedi.  It's a lot cooler than being a Champion or whatever I am."

House shook his head.  "You could retire."

"I can't.  I have skills that others need.  Not that I care about what others really want since most of the demons I know who aren't bastards want me to date Dawn for some reason.  I don't know why.  She's girly and all that stuff.  She'd never get dirty or hunt with me."

"I think you've got a pretty good one there.  Keep what you have and what makes you happy, even if others don't agree.  After all, they die."

"Usually with silver or wood," Connor agreed, looking totally serious.  "Sometimes with a club but that's just for fun times."

House patted him on the head.  "Don't tell me those details."  Connor nodded, watching what he was doing.  "I'm going to be listening to her heartbeat.  Don't beat me for it.  I'm not groping."  He did that and then nodded.  "She doesn't sound so bad."  He put the stethoscope back around his neck.  "Anything happen last night I should know about?"

"Crissy moaned a few times.  I'm not sure if they're having slayer dreams or not."

"I'll check on her next."

"Their morning pills?"

House looked at him.  "Oh, birth control.  Right.  I heard all the girls were on it."

"Slayer blood attracts bad things.  Even more than are lined up to date Xander."  House snickered, walking over to check the files and get her the pill of the day.  "She's on the third row."

"Living together?"

"It's easier to settle patrol things if we're together.  Plus it means they can't sneak off and neither can I.  For some reason Gunn goes to look at naked women now and then."

"Most young men do at least a few times in their lives."  He brought back a pill pack.  "Look like hers?"  He nodded.  "Good."  He handed him one.  "Make her take that."  Connor nudged her, getting growled at.  "Pill.  Take it."  She dry swallowed it and went back to sleep against his chest.  "That'll work."  He moved to look at Crissy, frowning. She didn't look so good.  Her heartrate was down.  Way down.  "Nurse!" he bellowed.  She came running out.  "We didn't do a vital's check in the last how long?"

"Um....  They have special healing abilities?" she said weakly.

He glared at her, making her shrink down.  "Yay.  Her heartbeat is very low.  She's been moaning in pain."  He went back to looking her over.  Xander walked in.  "Out."

"No.  She's under my care.  I'm her legal guardian."  He came over to look down at her.  "Not out of her body."

"Can you do that?"

"Did the last time I had a head injury," Xander admitted.  "The Powers called.  We went to swear at them later."  Connor gaped at him.  He waved.  "Yeah, me and Dawn.  She started it and I finished it.  That's how she got teachers."  He smirked.  "Speaking of, I think one of them wanted to meet you.  She needs someone else to fuss over and tutor."  He put a hand on her wrist when it moved.  "Just us, Crissy.  Relax.  That's the doc and I'm here."  She went limp again.  "Is it pain or something else?"  She nodded, keeping her eyes closed.  "Were we meditating?"  She nodded again.  "Okay, where does it hurt?"

"Chest," she whined.  "Leg.  Left."

House checked her ribs and winced.  "They weren't broken last night."  He looked at her leg too.  Broken as well.  "How in the hell?"

Connor slid off the bed and came over.  "Anyone coming in would've woken me, sir," he said.  He looked at Xander.  "She's been having a problem with something taunting her in her sleep."

"Another one?" Xander asked.  Connor shrugged.  "The same 'special child' dreams a few of us have gotten?"

"No.  This is a dream demon of some sort."

Xander nodded, smacking her on the head to wake her up.  She gasped.  "No sleeping until we can ward you, Crissy.  What happened?"

"It wanted to fight," she whined.  "He said I'm falling down on my duties."  He stared down at her.  "I asked when Dawn told me about the special children dreams.  He laughed and said it wasn't him.  This one is one of D'Hoffryn's things.  Not a vengeance demon."

"Fuck," Xander growled.  Connor backed off, giving him a scared look.  "We'll handle it, Crissy.  For now, stay awake if you can, all right?"  She nodded, swallowing.  "Connor, get her some water please?"  He went to do that while House pulled over the portable x-ray machine.  "You two fought?  Was it a battle or just a regular throwing things fight?"

"We fought.  He made it look like a cemetery.  Said I was falling down on the job.  That I was weak."

"You're only nineteen.  You're not weak.  None of you girls are weak if you can crush beer cans while they're full," he said patiently.  She smiled at that.  "What else happened?"

"I don't know."

"That's fine.  We'll figure it out.  For now, I'll have John come down to do a simple warding around your bed and we'll search for marks.  I'm sure you won't mind too much?"

"Can Dawnie?"

"She's pretty stretched magically.  I can have Sammy do it."

"The girls will be jealous," she teased.

"Yeah, well, a few are now purple because Doctor House here put a dye pack in his underwear drawer."  She cackled but held her ribs.

"Lay still," House ordered.  He took film then moved to do her leg.  He moved the machine out of the way, letting Connor shove it a bit further away.  "So it happened in her dream?"

"Some demons travel that way," Xander agreed.  "It's like they pulled her out of her body and when she came back, so did the injuries.  Don't ask me specifics.  I have no idea.  That's a question to ask Giles.  He gave us all talismans when one came for Faith."  He called out there.  "Faith, me.  Crissy's been having a dream demon issue.  Broken ribs and a leg.  Last night.  Thanks, dear."  He hung up.  "She'll watch out for them since they seem to be drawn to her.  We'll get Giles to make you a talisman as well.  That should keep it away."  She nodded.  "Good girl."  He kissed her on the head.  "I'll be back after lunch?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Good."  He looked at House.  "You do whatever you have to do.  If you have to do something extreme, my desk is 131.  I'm usually there all morning."

"I can remember that."

"I'll get onto John and Giles."  He gave her one last pet, then Morgan one.  "You get better too.  Cordette was not happy.  She wanted to beat the demons up for hurting you two."  She smiled at that.  "Dream demon?"

"He's scared of Connor."

"Maybe you two should share him," he quipped.

"That's a bad girl thought worthy of Faith," Morgan teased back.  "She'd be proud."

"Probably."  He walked off, going to find John in classes.  He leaned in.  "John, need you for ten."  He came out to the hall.  "Crissy's being attacked by some sort of dream demon.  Can you ward her bed in the infirmary until Giles can do a talisman?"

"Sure.  Salt?"

"Not sure it'd work.  He gave us this funny feather talisman when they came for Faith.  They apparently had a fight and she came back more injured.  Broken ribs and leg."

"That's gotta hurt.  I can do that.  Give me twenty to find some chalk and the right book in the library."

"Thanks."  He went to find Giles, finding him in the library with Sam.  "Your dad needs a book on wards for the infirmary."  Sam went to pull them down.  He looked at Giles.  "Remember the dream demon who was coming after Faith?"  He nodded slowly.  "One got Crissy last night.  Broken ribs and leg."

"Let me see if we have the book with the talisman, Xander.  Is she all right?"

"Sore.  John's going to ward her bed until you can make her one.  I've got mine under my bed if you need to look at it."

"I might.  Do we have a local source for materials?"

"Six or seven in the next county.  About three hours away."

"I'll get onto that right away.  Will she be fine?"

"Yup.  None of them are compound or slipped fractures.  She's just really sore.  Oh."  He moved closer.  "They're trying to demoralize.  The demons last night told them they aren't as good as Buffy or Faith.  The dream one called her weak."

"Well, no, they're not as strong as Buffy or Faith are, but they've each got their own strengths."

Xander nodded.  "Being compared to Buffy helped send Faith over the edge, Giles."  He moaned.  "The same as being compared to John annoys you."

"I understand. I shan't mention it, Xander."

"Thanks.  I've had to point out that they're not Buffy and Faith.  Even Faith pointed that out."

"Have you talked to Wesley?"

"He said one person did try that with the girls, a chaos sorcerer.  Not Ethan.  She shot back that she was better because she wore real clothes on patrol."  Giles smiled a little bit at that.  "So please?"

"I'll do what I can."  Xander nodded and left.  Giles went to find that book.  Dream demons were tricky things.

Xander went to his desk and sat down to call a number in California.  "Hey, Phoebe.  Is Piper there?"  He smiled.  "Xander.  Yup, that Xander.  No, I wanted to ask a question.  Yeah, about her.  Thanks."  He leaned back, nodding at Daniel, holding up a finger.  "Hey.  It's come up again that Dawn's wards and things feel 'tired' to some who can tell.  Is there a way to see if she's linked herself in too tightly?  Like she tied it to her physical energy maybe?  No, it's been mentioned a few times and George, our shrub demon, has been extra attentive to her because he thinks she's sick I think.  Please.  No, our wards here, one on Annabelle the other day.  Yeah, exactly.  That's what I'm wondering.  Sure, come up for the weekend to work with her.  You can have my couch or whatever.  I'll sleep on the couch so you and Leo can have the bed with the kids if you want.  The girls would coo over the kids.  You know that."  He smiled.  "Thanks,  Piper."  He hung up and turned to look at Danny.  "Something that keeps bugging me."

"I can see why."  He sat down to look at him.  "I read the report."  Xander sighed but nodded.  "You're still not in trouble, Xander."  Xander perked up a bit at that.  "I've even talked to a member of that clan.  I had Don Epps find me one to call.  They said they expected you to wipe them out because that's your reputation when they've touched one of the girls."

"I had to," he said quietly.

"I know.  I'm not mad.  They're not pressing a complaint.  You're in the clear.  From now on I want to hear about these things first thing.  Even if you have to wake me up.  Got it?"  Xander nodded.  "I do like that you confessed to me.  That shows a lot of maturity and acceptance of your skills."  He gave him a small smile.  "Now, I need your help.  Jack's showing up in a few days."

"Do you want him to stay?"

"Not a clue," he admitted.  "I think he'd have more fun here than there.  Sam too if I could talk her out of the program and into our RD lab.  She'd drive Abby nuts though.  Worse than McKay did."

"Abby said it was nice to have another big brain that she could argue multiple topics with."

"Huh.  Didn't know that."  He patted him on the hand.  "You're in the clear.  Calm down."

"There's a dream demon coming after Crissy.  Giles is working on a talisman while John wards her."

"Why not Dawn?"

"Because another person asked me if Dawn was tired after seeing spells she's done recently."

"Ah.  So we're thinking she's tied herself in tightly somehow?"  Xander nodded.  "We have a guest room, they can stay in it.  Now, we have to deal with the housing issue soon and I wanted your input."

"Are we moving the girls?"

"Nope.  Too much stress.  Besides, we might find more stolen underwear," he said dryly, cracking Xander up.  "Do you have a case open?"

"Two."  He let him see.  "I'm getting a report from this one since Dean took one of the girls out to handle the poltergeist.  I'm expecting it today.  I gave the department a head's up that they were showing up and they handled it.  I heard back and they're back so I'm sure it's okay.  Dean knows to write reports.  The other I'm stumped on.  I'm not so sure it's not a human doing it.  It's all fake mystical crap though.  Not any language or mystical symbols Sam or I could find."

Danny considered it but Tony spoke up.  "We have a profiler on call, Xander."  He waved a file.  "I was about to call him on mine.  I've got the same fake mystical symbols and stuff. There's about six or seven cases open on the floor with the same sounding things."

"Can we compare?" Xander suggested.

"I'm all for it.  I think if we can't find anything mystical it should go to the FBI and Spenser will have fun with it.  I'm sure making your own language up is a classical sign of something."

"Probably that no one can ever understand you," Danny offered.  "Where's everyone else?"

"Snack," Tony said.  "If we put up a new building, do I have to move again?"

"We'll see."  He smiled. "Let's compare and if it's not anything we're supposed to deal with we can brief him if he's open to it."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Good work so far."  He stood up.  "By the way, your contract runs out in another month.  Are you going to demand a raise or anything?"

"You're still paying me?"

"Yes, Xander," he said patiently, walking off to check his mailbox.  He brought back the last few paychecks and put them in front of him.  "This time, don't find the demonic strip club."  He patted him on the head and walked off again.  Tony could cackle all he wanted.  He was like that.

Xander put the envelopes into his back pocket and gathered up that case, coming over to compare it to Tony's.  When the others came back from their morning snack, they settled around Tony's desk to compare too.

***

Agent Hotchner looked up as his phone rang, frowning some.  "Hotchner," he answered, listening to the familiar voice.  "We're coming back from one.  What's up, DiNozzo?"  Spenser Reid's head popped up.  "You sure it's nothing mystical?"  He listened then nodded.  "I can do that.  We're not that far away.  Let me divert us.  What's the closest to the base?"  He wrote that down.  "We can be there in a few hours.  No, we have the SUVs with us.  That'll work.  Thanks." He hung up and went to talk to the pilot, who radioed in the change.  He walked back to his seat.  "DCIS has a serial case that they think we need to handle.  Made up language of supposedly mystical symbols, lots of black mass overtones, but nothing real.  DiNozzo said they have seven open cases total with the new one that came in last night."

"Anything we do know?" Reid asked.

"Not yet.  We'll see what they have.  I know they get cold cases and other cases faxed in all the time these days."

"Yeah, Tony sent one to me last week to profile the person causing the sacrifices so they could figure out who it was.  Forensics wasn't getting an ID for them that time."  The fax machine on the plane started to spit something out so he reached over to grab it, looking it over.  "I've seen this."

Hotchner looked over his shoulder.  "About three towns ago.  On one of the officer's desks."  Derek Morgan woke up from his nap.  "We're diverting to DCIS.  New case."

"Charming.  Mystical?"

"Supposedly but not.  They've looked, it's not a language anyone knows and it's not mystical in nature.  Seven open cases."

"That'll work."  He shifted over to look too, nudging Prentiss so she would wake up and look it over too.  "Did we see those already?"

"I saw that case on one officer's desk a few towns back," Hotch said dryly.  "The one in Orlando if I remember right."

Morgan nodded.  "Are they all there?"

"No.  The last page has notes of where they are," Reid said, handing it over.   The rest got handed over too.  "Personal languages often mean that you're feeling not human or that no  human will ever understand, even if they try, because your language is different from us.  You get a lot of 'bug syndrome'."

"Bug syndrome?" Prentiss asked.

"You think all the humans around you are bugs," Morgan said, handing that stuff on. "It's a strange mix of superiority and inferiority complex at the same time."  He looked at Reid.  "Where's the base?"

"North Dakota.  I've only been the once for that one case we took over for them.  It's a pretty base, but if you see the ugly little shrub in the middle of the walkway, don't block his sun.  George has poison darts he can shoot if you annoy him."  They all stared so he smiled.  "It's a harmless shrub demon who adopted some of the younger slayers.  He's very protective of them and their self-defense teacher."

"I don't think I could live that life," Hotchner admitted.  "That's too strange for me."

"Slayers?" Prentiss asked.

"Did you see the coverage of the LA invasion?" Morgan asked her.  She nodded slowly.  "All those girls are called to an ancient and scared duty to wipe out the bad demons.  They've been taken in by DCIS after their original town fell in and then some of them were hurt by a power play.  Most of them are underage, they're all taught to go after the hunters, and the guy in charge is fierce about that from what I've heard said about him.  Though it's said if you hurt one of the girls, he goes spastic on you and you end up talking to St. Peter yourself."

"Xander learned how to hunt by jumping in," Reid told him.  "He's actually a very fascinating young man.  If he didn't have this, I'd be afraid of him being on our caseload.  He's *very* protective of those girls.  He's nearly died to protect them a number of times.  He's also adapted himself from hunting to investigating.  His team handles the worst of the worst.  Including that case we nearly got from Seattle.  That turned out to be someone changing into a high level demon so it could eat people and gain power.  He used artillery but his whole team came back and they rescued the last victim.  When some of his team went bad and hunted down demons just because they were demons, he turned them in.  He's a nice, good guy with a crappy destiny so far.  He handles it well but he's perpetually stressed out because he's doing about seven jobs the last time I heard.  He was even doing maintenance on the base for a while because no one thought to hire someone to change lightbulbs or fix squeaky doors."

"He sounds pleasant," Prentiss said grimly.

"He's a nice guy," Reid assured her.  "He's only dangerous when you attack him or whatever he's protecting."

"No worse than some of the military guys," Derek said.  Spenser nodded.  "Then that's reasonable with his field of choice.  How long did he hunt?"

"Sixteen.  Tenth grade."  They all winced at that.  "He's adapted to investigating.  He does it pretty well according to Tony.  Tony and he recruited a lot of people for DCIS.  Oh, and Xander helped take down the demon who wanted to assassinate the new president during his swearing in.  That was Xander."

"He looked awfully young," Hotch said.

"He is.  It's only been eight years since he started to hunt.  Now he's fallen back to training and helping the girls and DCIS.  There for a while he and one other guy were handling all the issues with the girls.  Then someone else woke up from a strange, magically induced coma and took over again.  Which means he's doing research according to Tony.  He asked if there was a way we could pull Giles' head out of his ass, his words.  Xander's still doing most of the work."

"Is it his case?" Morgan asked.

"No clue.  Doesn't say."

"Then we'll see."  They felt the altitude shift.  "We must be getting ready to land."  They nodded.  "It's about a two-hour drive according to DiNozzo just now."

"There's well-marked signs," Reid promised with a smile.  "They're on a refurbished base."  That got a nod of understanding.  "Oh, fair warning as I was given.  The girls will squeal, pounce, and sometimes pinch.  They're horny teenage girls who claim Tony and Xander hired eye candy for them to fantasize about."

Hotchner smiled and nodded.  "Some girls are like that."  They landed a few minutes later and got off, loading into the SUVs that flew with them on cases, heading for the base.  It was a nice drive.  Very pretty country.  He could appreciate this as a retirement place but he'd hate to leave the city with all the entertainments they have available when you're bored.  They found the base a little under two hours later and he pulled up to the gate, pulling out his ID.  "BAU.  There's another SUV of us."

"Case or personal, Agent Hotchner?"

"Case."

"Go ahead and park in the pink square lot and then head to the main building."  He pointed.  "Case floor is the third one and most everyone's up there.  Ignore the girls if they stare since they're outside doing PT right now."  That got a nod and he parked.  He looked at the ID's on the second vehicle.  "Agent Reid.  Nice to have you back, sir.  Go ahead and park in the visitor's lot if you would please?  They should be inside and the girls are doing PT in the yard."

"Thank you."  He smiled and they parked, letting him lead the way over there.  He stopped to pet the watching shrub demon.  "Hi, George.  How are you today?"  He got out of his sun when the demon rattled his branches, pulling Derek out of his sun too.  "We won't block you out."  He walked them inside and to security, getting passes onto the elevators.  The case floor was pretty quiet compared to some they've been on.  Almost no one was there.  "Are we late?" he asked Tony.

"Only to see Giles go off on Xander and Xander stomp off before he slugged him.  Giles is down being checked for possession and the Winchesters have Xander to make sure he doesn't stroke out.  Hey, guys."  He waved.  "The empty desk beside you guys has all the files and the coffee pot is first come-first served.  We even have a caf if you need lunch."  He smiled.  "We've checked, and there's a few we weren't sure if they were the same guy or not so they're the smaller pile."

"That'll work," Hotchner said, sitting down to go over them with Reid taking them from him to hand off once he had read.  "Do we have a map?"  Tony pointed so he went to look, finding pushpins on the open cases.  "Purple for open?"

"Purple for open, blue for team cases with a team out.  Red for recently solved or the slayers took it over," Tony said, looking up.  Xander stomped back.  "You good?"

"Can't I put him back to sleep?"

"That might be a bad thing," Tony said patiently.  "Though I think Danny was going to suggest it.  He got tired of Giles not understanding human beings are nice too."  Xander cracked a smile at that.  "You remember Spenser Reid right?"

"I do.  Hey."  He shook his hand.  "I looked everywhere in what we had.  It's not a language we have on record, human or demon.  It's not any mystical symbol that we've found.  A few are close but not really.  We have uber brains doing research stuff and they couldn't find it either.   Does that mean that he doesn't think people would understand him?"

"It can or he's trying to code his inner feelings so no one can read them," Derek told him.  "It's also a fair indicator of bug syndrome."

"I've had that a few times.  Mostly while drunk," Xander admitted, cracking him up.  "If we can help, let us know.  I'm only waiting on a report from Dean about something he had to handle."  He went back to his desk, looking at the coffee pot.  "Damn it."

"You can have some," Tony reminded him.  "You buy the coffee most of the time, Xander."

"No I can't.  Doctor Chase said he wants my blood pressure to go back down before I have more caffeine."  He pouted.  "He thinks I'm halfway to a heart attack at the moment."

Tony looked at him. "That's why we keep hiring people to do all the jobs you do for us.  Someone may have to do it but that doesn't mean it's you."

Xander shrugged. "Until you hire someone to do it, I'll have to."

"Good point.  Any idea if Giles is possessed?"

"No, he's still dealing with special girl syndrome."  He called Faith's cellphone.  "It's me.  You know how you were thinking Giles is going to snap soon on one of us for pointing out the junior slayers are still teenage girls?  You're psychic apparently beyond slayer dreams."  He smiled.  "I'm good.  We just had a discussion at the top of my lungs.  He's being checked for possession.  Sure, we're here.  Oh, do you have the talisman for the dream demon?  Or does Buffy?  Crissy could use one made.  She's got one on her ass.  Broken ribs and a leg.  Thanks, Faith."  He hung up.  "She's having someone there make her one for Crissy."  Dean walked in.  "Report?"

"She's nearly done."  He patted him on the head.  "You good?"

"Nope."

"He's not possessed."

"He's done it before, Dean.  We deal and then we move on, because I'm too stubborn to let him hurt those girls."

"He was talking about moving them all to Cleveland."

"Then the city council out there said they'd be arrested and put into Juvie until I could come get them.  They made it a binding law to not have a few dozen slayers in their city at once unless it was an emergency."  Dean smirked at that, nodding some.  "They know it'll draw something bigger.  So we'll figure it out I guess.  He'll start to see reality again once he comes out of the library."

"Dad told him that, very bluntly ranted at him about how he did nothing with those girls.  Then Dad called Wes and put him on speaker.   I didn't know Wes knew that sort of language."

"At one point in time the Watchers fired him and he got a harley while trying to be a rogue demon hunter like you guys."

"He was probably decent at it.  I can't imagine soft-spoken Wes on a harley though."  He shook his head quickly, making Tony laugh.  "Can you?"

"Not really.  Did the girls down there hear?"

"Oh, yeah.  Connor told him he didn't want him anywhere near Morgan and Crissy.  That Giles was reminding him of Angel when he lost his soul for a bit."  Xander shuddered.   He looked at his buddy again.  "The girls were talking about a no confidence vote and if it'd do any good."

"Giles is over research and I'm over training and support," Xander pointed out.  "If we had more watchers it might help but then I'd probably get the cold shoulder because I wasn't raised in the system like they were."

"You'll figure it out," Dean promised.  Amber brought in her report.  "Done?"  She nodded and hugged Xander before handing it to him.  "We'll figure it out."

"No, we already have.  Mr. Giles is great to Buffy and sometimes to Faith, but I've only seen the man at meals.  If we have problems we can't go to him.  If we have slayer dreams he doesn't talk to us about them, just takes the accounts to look up.  He assumed Xander had done his job and he was right.  Then he pouts because Xander does his job.  So either he gets off his ass or he's a ghost to us.  Even Annabelle agreed and she's too happy to hate anyone, Dean.  He's a research watcher because the books mean more to him than we do.  Let him stay in the library for all we care.  Xander's our boss."  She gave Xander another hug.  "Calm down.  We're behind you, even when you are grumpy and make us do extra PT for doing stupid things."  She smiled.  "Glad I didn't get caught doing what they did though."  She walked off, heading back to classes with Sammy and Danny.  Danny gave her a look.  "Had to hand in my report on that poltergeist."

"That's fine, Amber.  Thank you for getting that done today."  She smiled.  "Are you all right?"

"As far as most of us are concerned, Mr. Giles is a ghost from the library."  He nodded at that wisdom.  "Annabelle wanted to make him one but she's seen sense."

"Good.  Thank you.  We're going over troll today."

"Eww."  He smiled but handed her the pop quiz so she sat down to do it.

***

In Washington, D.C., the president was looking at a letter his secretary brought him.  "What's this?"

"From the girls at DCIS, sir."  She smiled and left him alone with the new things for him to read over.

He picked it up to read it.  It was a very nice thank you letter for hiring them eye candy, who hired more eye candy for them to stare at, but also for taking them in and giving them competent people who could help them with their predestined duties - ones who made things much easier on them.  He burst out laughing at the closing that again thanked him for hiring eye candy for them.  He'd heard Daniel had a few problems with them stealing clothes but they seemed pretty nice to him.  He wrote back a simple 'you're welcome' letter and mentioned that the eye candy they all liked were all because of DiNozzo and Harris.  Then he faxed them both to Jackson's office.  He would giggle too he was sure.

***

Tony heard the fax machine and went to look at it, frowning at the letter coming out.  "Huh?"  He took it to reread it then the second sheet that came out.  That made him smile.  "Hey, Xander?  Get Danny to read this please?  You too."  Danny came in a few minutes later with Xander following.  He handed over the thank you letter first, making Danny smile.  Xander looked confused so he handed over the first letter.  Danny burst out laughing and Xander moaned, shaking his head.  "Apparently we do good things for the girls' manners and mind.  It's a nice thank you note."

"It is," Danny agreed, posting it on the wall.  He copied the letter and posted the original on his wall beside the first letter.  Then he went to hand it to the girls who had signed it.  Dean and John were talking with one of them so he handed it to her.  "The president liked your letter a lot, Gail."  He walked off smiling.

She blushed at the dual unhappy looks.  "A few of us wrote a thank you letter for him letting DCIS take us in and keep us," she said weakly.   She read it and smiled, going to tell the others.  Dawn cackled.  "Hey!"

"We knew Xander should be gay," she shot back with an evil grin.

"He had the most confused look too," Danny called.  "Break's over with, ladies."  They went back to classes.  Dean went to look at the letter but it was hidden from him.  Danny nodded at his office window, getting a nod back.  Dean went up there to look, and his cackle was clearly heard through the open squad room windows.

John looked up.  "That's a bad sound."  Dean came out with a copy of the letter and the response.  "The originals?"

"Hanging up on Danny's wall.  They did thank him for taking them in and keeping them."  John read then had to smile.  It was so like his girls.  He handed them back, walking off shaking his head but smiling.   Dean went to hand it to Sammy, who giggled at them.  "Dad grinned."

"They did hire a good bit of pretty men," Sammy said, handing it back.  Don Flack looked over from his table of research.  "The girls wrote a very polite, nice thank you note to the president for letting you guys take them in and keep them."

"And thanking him for hiring them eye candy."  Don moaned and his head hit the table.  Dean let him read, making him smile too.  That was so like the girls.  "Dawn cackled when she read it."

"I'm sure she did.  There's a chaos god somewhere getting a buzz from this."

"I'm not sure if Strife is real, but if he is, maybe he's over slayers," Sam said dryly.  Dean cackled at that and went back to his own teaching duties.  Don smirked at him.  "They can be."

"Yeah, but I think House stopped most of the problems with the underwear."

"Hopefully.  I hate going commando around the base.  The girls all try to pinch."  He got back to his own research while Don giggled at his table.  Giles stomped back in.  "I pulled down the book on those talismans and told Faith what you'd need. She'll send it with a messenger demon in a few hours.  So far the wards are holding and she's okay."  He looked over.  "Dawn's teachers are showing up this weekend to work with her some more too.  So you'll get to meet at least one of them.  If it's the oldest sister, she might be bringing her kids for the girls to coo over.  It might be all three of them, not sure yet."

"Is she in trouble?"

"Xander thinks she's putting too much of herself into spells so they're going to work on that issue.  Plus she hasn't been out for a few weeks because of classes."

"Then perhaps I'll talk to them about doing some wards around here."

"They put up a lot of them when they found Dawn was having troubles, Giles," Sam said honestly.  "They're pretty passive but they've got alarms and warnings on them.   We might ask them if it's possible to keep out dream demons as well.  It might help the one who wants me and a few of the girls."

Giles nodded.  "Any idea on what that is?"

"That's mine and Danny's case," Don told him.  "Yes we do but we're worried about where he's starting this people's armies.  Anything new, Sammy?"

"Not yet," he admitted. "Not in a few weeks.  Unless Xander's having more."

"Not in weeks," Xander said as he walked in, holding up something.  "Summerian?"  Sam looked at it then shook his head.  "I was thinking Norse."

"No, Mediterranean but not Summerian.  Looks like Linear B actually.  I'm not fluent but Daniel is."  Xander nodded and went to check with him.  Sam went back to his research.  "I wonder where he found that."

"Probably in the museum case that came in about an hour ago."  Don looked up.  "Mummies up and walking around."  Sam moaned.  "A few other artifacts that were mysteriously moving as well.  A burial chamber remake."

"Wonderful.  Interior decorating mummies.  What next?"

"I'm not sure I wanna know," Don admitted, going back to his reading.  "I might have to take a vacation to see the family if it gets any worse than that."  Sam laughed.  "Honestly.  Dad would freak out and I'd be happier since it wasn't stuck in my head."

"Tony can swat you again like he did Dean," Sam offered.

"No thanks.  Don't know where he learned it but it only works really well on Danny."  He smirked.  "Think the raven symbols I've been seeing in mine are rebirth or vengeance?"

"Depends."  He came over to look.  "Vengeance.  Not a vengeance demon but a request for vengeance.  Like on that movie and show _The Crow_ I think."

"They're not crows."

"They're easily confused," Giles said quietly.  He came over to look.  "That's not mystical."

"No but if he's calling for vengeance and ends up dead, they send it to us," Don admitted.  "Anything remotely strange. Xander had one that had a chipmunk chewing on stuff in a police evidence locker and they thought it was a ghost."

Sam nodded.  "I saw that one.  He suggested a trap."  He went back to his own research.  Dean walked in and handed him something.  "Awake slayer dream?" he asked, frowning as he read it.

"Annabelle was out on her feet again.  She had it in the middle of English."  He walked out, leaving it with them.  They could research that stuff to tell them how to deal with it.

Sam picked it up to read it, then frowned.  "The one who sees.  Which seer is that?"  He called Dawn.  "Didn't you have something about one who sees?"  She babbled at him.  "Good to know."  He hung up.  "Xander's got a stalker," he announced.

"Damn, I heard he dated bad things," Don quipped.

"I don't think he dated this one.  I think this one wishes."  He went to find him and tell him.  "Xander, remember the stuff where they called you a seer?"  He grimaced but nodded.  "Annabelle had a slayer dream in English."

"I told her to go to bed last night."  He took it to read over, then moaned, shaking his head.  "Not my type."

"We'll guard you, you know that," Tony said, coming over to read it.  Then he giggled. "Only you have slayers warning you about dating, Xander."  He patted him and went back to his open cases, ignoring the snickering from the BAU unit.

Sam smiled.  "Now we're warned."

"Yay me."  He handed it back and turned to get back to work.  "Thanks for the head's up, Sam."

"Welcome."  He went back to the library to log it in and make notes that he had warned Xander.  Giles gave him an odd look.  "DCIS wants to know too.  Especially if it impacts any of their people."  He finished up and saved it on the server then got back to his own research.  He had class in a half hour but he needed to get this done.  "I'm so going to assign research papers," he muttered.  Giles gave him a horrified look.  "They'll have to do them in school."  He went back to reading until his watch beeped then he took the book with him.  He handed it to Dawn.  "I need that topic researched," he told her.

"Yes, Sam."  She went to do that, ignoring Giles totally.  Giles could sit at his table and seethe for all she cared.  Though she did text Buffy to warn her.  She had ways of making Giles see sense when he was being an ass.

***

Faith looked at Buffy's phone then at the shower she was in.  "B, Dawn patrol texted."

"Who got hurt this time?" she called back.

"Tweedy went off on Xander about him doing too much with us again."  Buffy moaned. "He's not possessed."

Buffy came out in a towel to get the message.  "I'm going to have to referee, won't I?"

"Nah.  Step off.  The girls sent a text earlier to mine saying that they didn't like G at all.  He was like a ghost in the library."

They shared a look.  "I'll talk with him when I get back.  I don't know what his issue is.  Xander's done so much for us that I'm impressed."

"Which is a hard thing for you to be," Faith quipped dryly, giving her a look.

Buffy shrugged.  "He's still normal.  He's happier at DCIS doing all that stuff."

"Maybe.  Maybe not.  He'd still give up his life for those girls and us."

"I know.  Which I'm trying to avoid.  I don't want him dead.  I want him where I can find him warping others."  She went back to finish her shower.  She called Dawn once she was done.  "What happened?"  She listened then moaned, resting her head against the mirror.  "Why?  Ten whole dollars to buy shampoo?  I'm sure he paid it back by now.  Beyond that, don't we pay him a salary?"  She grimaced. "We pay Wes.  We pay Connor.  We pay the girls on patrol rotation.  Why don't we pay Xander?"

"Because Xander wasn't getting paid by DCIS at first either," Faith called.

Buffy frowned.  "You know what?  Bring me back tonight after patrol, please?"  She smiled.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Dawnie."  She hung up and got dressed, coming out to work on her hair.  "We'll talk to Giles tonight.  He's now fussing because Xander took ten dollars to buy shampoo and soap way back when."

"I'm sure no one's going to complain about ten bucks since he wasn't taking a salary," Faith said dryly.

"I don't care.  Wes apparently didn't.  Giles is being a butt.  He hasn't come out of the library in months.  Not since we woke up.  Maybe he should take Cleveland for a while and let Wes have a few weeks off."

"That could help."

"I'm going on the next rotation out there.  That'll help more."  That got a nod and Faith patted her on the back.  "Thanks.  Any word on Morgan and Crissy?"

"Connor is hyper protective of his girlfriend.  Nearly bit the doc this morning."

"The hotty one?"

Faith smiled.  "The older hotty one."  She leaned closer.  "Did you know the girls wrote a letter to the Prez saying thank you for taking us all in and giving them competent eye candy to stare at and help us with our duties?"  Buffy giggled, shaking her head.  "They did.  Man, Tony and Xander hired for eye candy."

"Oh, yeah," she moaned, leaning back.  "I haven't seen that much prettiness together since a deb ball when I was younger."  Faith gave her head a shove for that.  "Pretty, young, rich guys."

"They probably had plastic surgery.  All ours are natural."

"Hmm.  I can see why some of them go on panty raids."

"A few were purple this morning.  The older new doc used a dye pack in his drawer."  Buffy cackled at that.  "X gave them all maintenance and PT punishments."

"Good to know."  She got back to work detangling her hair.  "Call Wes to suggest that?  I don't have his number yet."

"Sure."  She called him.  "Oh, Watcher Mine."  She grinned.  "I'm good.  Covering LA.  Morgan and Crissy got the hell beaten out of them by some Gwalfark.  X took them down for them when he came to get Crissy evac'd.  No, was thinking.  Giles is like a library ghost according to the girls.  Yeah, that stuff.  Who called?"  She listened to the list of girls who had called to get his advice.  "Huh.  Didn't know the girls had called to get advice on that."  She smiled.  "That's a good thing.  Means they trust you, Wes.  No, me and B were thinking.  She's coming out to do senior duties on rotation next time.  You haven't been back on base except for emergencies. Tweedy needs out of the library.  That work for you?"  She nodded.  "No, the girls won't go near him.  One called Buffy to let him know they're considering him a library ghost.  Thanks, Wes."  She hung up.  "It's good with him.  He'll arrange it with X since he's over training and Wes is over patrols."

"How did they handle it on their own?"  She shifted to look at her.  "Giles said he was missing the old accounting department."

"X kept it pretty loose.  If the girls needed to shop, he hit the bank.  The rest of things stayed in the bank except for the food payments to DCIS for our grazing."  Buffy smiled at that.  "We do drive up the food bills.  He pays Cordette's parents too.  Speaking of, you met them yet?"

"No, I've talked to her."

"We'll do that today then.  Epps is the local DCIS guy."  That got a nod and Buffy went to braid her hair since it was still wet.  Faith called Charlie.  "Bringing someone by to introduce her to you and the little one.  We'll talk then."  She hung up on his complaint.  "Um, B, real clothes?" Faith suggested.  "One's FBI.  Kinda uptight people."  She sighed but went to change into something cute, but with more fabric.  Faith looked up and shook her head.  "They call me the slutty one," she muttered.  They walked out together, heading for the college.  "One of the girls is going here this fall.  Cordette's big brother works in the math department here."

"So he's Willow sorta brains?"

"Bigger than Red's.  Way bigger.  Went to college at fourteen sorta brains."

"Oooh.  Wow.  So Cordette is doing really good in school?"

"He's making sure she handles whatever she's taking without doing it for her."  She smiled at a familiar man walking and mumbling.  "You keep doin' that and something will think you love it," she teased.  Larry jumped and looked around, smiling when he saw her.  "Hey, Larry."  She gave him a careful hug.  "This is B.  We're in on elimination detail since some of the things locally jumped our girls last night."

"Are they all right?"

"Mostly.  Banged up.  Few broken bones.  We heal though.  They'll be back in a few weeks."

"That's good."  He shook Buffy's hand.  "The girls have said you're nearly mythical, Miss Summers."

She blushed.  "I hate that but I guess I kinda am.  One of them called me an undead yo- yo."  He laughed.  "Which one is coming here?"

"Morgan is.  She's looking in the humanities."  He walked off with them.  "Coming to visit Charles, girls?"  Faith nodded.  "Well, I do believe he's got a class at the moment but he'll be done in a few moments.  He had a test to give today."  Faith shuddered.  "I know, not everyone is suited for mathematics but it is an important field."

"I hated classes and school," Faith told him.

Larry smiled.  "There's many ways of learning things.  I'm sure you learned many important lessons outside the classroom."  She nodded.  "Good."  He pointed.  "That building, second floor, ladies.  He'll be at his office soon.  It's about halfway through the building on the left side as you're walking back toward the reflecting pond."

"Thank you," Buffy said, smiling at him. "I've got to think about college stuff too."  She walked off with Faith.  "This is a really pretty campus.  No one's screaming, there's no commandos.  I'm almost really happy here."

Faith gave her a nudge.  "That was only Sunnydale, B.  If any other campus anywhere in the world had commandos on it, they'd be arrested on sight."  Buffy sighed.  "Don't tell me you're missing it."

"Nope.  Riley's married and I'm not missing him at all.  He was bad and cheated on me with the vamps feeding on him.  I don't miss that."

Faith patted her on the back.  "Maybe you'll find a nice guy to date.  A bit dangerous but still nice."  They walked into the building, blending in with the students heading to their next class or lunch.  They found the office and she tapped, then leaned in.  "No new class to run off to, right?"

"No, not for an hour.  What happened?  Don got a call saying they were injured."

Faith and Buffy walked in.  "There was a demon clan meeting and poker match that got out of hand," Buffy said.  "Xander rescued them with Dawn's help and kicked butt.  We came out to finish the problem so they quit picking on the girls.  Hi, Buffy Summers."

Charlie smiled, shaking her hand.  "Charlie Epps.  Big brother to Cordette.  We have new birthday pictures," he told them.  They both smiled and sat down to look them over.  Larry leaned in and tossed him something.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  You might call Xander.  He was stressing over some language they didn't have a key to."

"I'll do that."  Faith gave him an odd look.  "I can mathematically figure out most languages and what they represent."

"Wow.  Way smarter than I'll ever be," Buffy said in awe.

He smiled.  "I've used it to figure out which of Don's suspects did things and other criminals too," Charlie said.  "It's an interesting field."

"I did good when Willow helped."

He laughed.  "Not everyone's meant to be in math.  Some people do the humanities.  Some don't."  He patted her on the head.  "Let me call.  Should I get an update on the two girls?"

"Please," Faith agreed.  "We had a dream demon going after Crissy.  I'm having a talisman made to protect Cor."

"Thank you."  He called.  "Xander, Charlie Epps.  You told Larry something about a strange language?"  He listened.  "Fax it to me.  I have a nice algorithm to figure that sort of thing out. Sure, put me on with the profiler."  He paused.  "Hi, Charlie Epps.  Yes, that one.  That's what I was suggesting to him.  I am on call for them if they need it.  How many cases?"  He frowned. "How many symbols?  Then I can do that easily.  Not a problem.  Probably within a day to a day and a half, depending on how busy our server is.  Of course.  Fax it to me or email a scanned in copy for me.  That's fine.  The better the resolution the easier it is," he agreed.  "I'm here.  Xander should.  Yes, that's me.  Thank you.  How are Morgan and Crissy?"  He smiled.  "I'll let them know.  They're here in my office."  He handed the phone to Buffy.  "Dawn."  He looked at Faith.  "They're fine.  A bit cranky.  Connor's been hovering protectively until she swatted him and made him go get her food."

"That boy's learned real well," Faith said happily.  "You can really figure out language stuff with math?"

"I can."  He smiled at his big brother when he walked in.  Buffy moaned.  "Don, this is Faith and Buffy is on the phone with her little sister."

"Nice to meet you, ladies."  Buffy hung up after a quiet word.  "What happened?"

"The clan meeting and poker game got out of hand," Faith told him.  "Both girls got trashed by the demons so they're in the infirmary.  We even got new hotty, competent docs watching over them."  Don smiled at that.  "Connor's hovering over Morgan."

"Good.  I like that about him.  Even if he does have to ask normal guy questions now and then."  Charlie smiled.  "Are you two coming to see Cordette tonight?"

"After I pick up the protective talisman I'm having made for her," Faith agreed.  "There's been a problem dream demon recently."

"We have no problem with protecting her."  He smiled at Buffy.  "I've heard your name mentioned a few times."

"It's nice to hear but it's making the younger girls stress out from what I hear."

"It can but they usually shoot back that they don't wear heels when they slay."

She blushed.  "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"B, you flashed *so* many demons," Faith said, patting her gently on the shoulder.  Buffy swatted her for it.  "You did.  The old mayor heard a few vamps went after you to get flashed."

She rolled her eyes.  "That's not true."  Don laughed.  "It's not."

"I'm sure it's not.  So, what were we planning today?"

"We took care of the clan thing," Faith assured him.  "I was introducing her to you two and Cordette later on."

"You can come for dinner," Charlie offered.

"Nah, we've got patrol tonight with Angel and Gunn.  Smaller big bad who thinks he's so hot needs to be taken down and whipped until he begs."

Charlie blushed.  "Literally?"

"I hope not.  I left the whip with Wes."   Don laughed at that, nodding a bit.  "I did.  Really."

"She did.  She can use one.  I can't," Buffy told her.

Faith shrugged. "I learned from X and Indian Jones, like he did."  She stood up.  "Let's let you two talk and worry.  How's the sprout doing in school?"

"A slightly low grade in history but that class is boring her to sleep at times," Charlie admitted.  "She's a bit ADD now and then.  If it's not keeping her attention she drifts."

"I did the same thing," Faith admitted. "School sucked majorly."

"We've shown her some good things about history and she's feeling better about the subject," Don said.  "Is it normal for her to be a bit...bloodthirsty?"

"Yup," Buffy agreed.  "I only woke up in history class for Willow poking me or movie day."

Don shook his head.  "We'll keep that in mind then.  She's a good girl.  Our dad dotes on her like you wouldn't believe.  Her and Miss Kitty."

"I was wondering where Willow's cat went," Buffy admitted.  "She adopted her?"

"On the plane ride to the first base according to Xander.  She didn't like planes and neither did the cat."

"That's cool then.  Tara and Willow wouldn't mind."  She gave him a short hug.  "We'll see you later."  She followed Faith out.  "They seem like really nice guys," she said once they met up in the halls.

"They are.  Their dad's pretty nice too.  A bit firm when needed.  Cordette tried to help with the invasion so he ended up tying her to a chair."  Buffy smiled.  "I know it's instinctive.  They're doing good to live up to Xander's rules.  We don't die and we're normal girls most of the time."

"Good.  That's good for her.  Better than I could do now and then.  Mom would be way proud of him and yell at Giles again."

"G needs it, B."

"I know.  We'll handle it," she sighed.  "Even if I do have to beat him again."  That got a nod and they headed back outside to go looking for trouble brewing and to get that amulet for her bedroom.

Don smiled at Charlie.  "They're not that scary."

"No, she's not.  We've heard a lot about Buffy but she seemed pretty nice.  Even if they are having problems on base.  Including a human serial killer they got sent by mistake."

"Ow.  They good?"

"Their fine.  They called in their BAU profiler on call.  I'm doing the language to see if I can find a meaning."  Don nodded at that.  "Anything you needed help with?"

"Two or three cases in the office could use your help.  I came to see if you had anything this afternoon."

"Two things but I'm free after three."

"That'll work.  Thanks, Chuck."  He went back to his office, happy that the two senior girls seemed to think they were doing a good job.  He even warned his dad that they'd be coming over later.

***

Later that night, Buffy walked into Giles' room.  "C'mon, pack.  We're going to be late."

"To what?"  He looked up from his reading.

"I'm taking senior slayer duties in Cleveland for the next six months.  My watcher had better be there."  He started to say something but she held up a hand.  "It's pretty clear you're having troubles adjusting.  I need to take my tour of duty.  Wes needs a break since he's been there since the explosion.  Therefore, we're going to Cleveland."

"But...but Dawn?"

"Xander has official custody of her and I asked.  She says she's staying here.  She's learning a lot about the supernatural from the Winchesters and the guys here.  That'll make her a better watcher when it's her turn."  She stared at him.  "Well?  Pack!"  He groaned but got up to do that.  She gave him a hug.  "You do realize we nearly threw away the best thing that ever happened to us?" she asked when he looked down at her.

He sighed but nodded.  "I did.  I've been trying to unkink what he and Wesley screwed up."

"They didn't, Giles.  It's simpler this way.   After all, no departments to handle the stuff like the shopping accounts."

"I realize that.  He still confiscated money."

"Ten whole dollars, Giles."  She paid him.  "There, now it's even."  She stared at him and his shocked look.  "You do realize you're still not paying Xander?"  He slumped.  "He's doing a lot of the work.  Even Wes says he's taken on work so that he doesn't have to and can concentrate on the hellmouth.  So yeah, Xander's got it, Giles.  You do sucky with the girls because you don't know how to relate to them.  Xander's been their shiny knight a lot of times.  Keeping them from the bad urges, making sure they're safe and protected.  Keeping them from molesting the agents.  He's been their big brother.  You haven't even tried to step in and help teach the classes. Even I'm in classes and Faith's in classes but you haven't stepped in to teach any of them.  Though the girls might beat you if you took away their Sammy staring time in demonology."  She grinned at his cough and blush.  "So let's go.  We'll get back to slayer and watcher, and let Xander do everything again.  Because Danny hinted that you forgot to pay for all the food we slayers eat.  That's got to cost them tons."

"There's some island nations who don't have as big of a budget as the one for the girls' food."

"Maybe that'll change but we're still eating fourths and fifths most nights, Giles.  Most of them are growing girls too.  Remember how you ate as a teenager."  He nodded, letting out another small sigh.  "Then get to it.  Cut that check and let's go.  Wes is waiting impatiently for a few days off with his slayer.  By the way, LA's handled.  Brenda's staying for a few days until the others get too stubborn and go back.  Or possibly if she annoys Angel too much and he puts her on a bus.  She was not happy with my former hunny."

"I dare say I wasn't either," he admitted.

"Then let's go.  Cleveland's farther away than we are now.  I'm feeling the old urges to hop him again because I'm boyfriendless at the moment.  Faith said there's hotties in Cleveland too.  It's in my best interests to date.  Before I steal some of Dean's boxers too."  He cracked a smile at that.  "It was a near thing, Giles.  I caught him doing laundry.  I nearly pounced and then took a trophy or three with me."  He gave her a shoulder pat.  "Come on, pack."

"Yes, Buffy.  Six months?"

"Yup.  Wes has been there now for over a year and a half."

"Very well."  He went to pack what few things he had in his room and left to help her finish her own packing.  She had more clothes than most of the girls.  "Been shopping?"

"Angel said he was having high school flashbacks so he did what he did to Cordy and handed me his credit card," she said with an evil grin.  "It was very nice of him.  I needed new shoes."

Giles shook his head, carrying one of her bags down to where Dawn was waiting with his own.  He looked at her.  "You can come with us."

"I'm starting school in a few weeks.  Me moving back and forth won't help my grades any.  Or help me make friends or find boyfriends."

"I get to meet them all, threaten them all, and have Xander do a background check," Buffy reminded her.  "And no short skirts."  Dawn looked at the one Buffy was wearing.  "I'm older and experienced."

"I heard."  She gave her a hug.  "Xander will threaten them for you if you don't meet them first. You know he will."

"I know.  I hope your crush on him didn't mean you picked up his bad dating habits."

"Annabelle had a slayer dream in English about a male demon who wants to woo Xander," she said with an evil smirk.  Buffy cackled.  "So maybe he shouldn't go gay."

"He should, just take an agent or someone here.  Someone who understands."

"Morgan has Connor.  Which is pretty nice since most of the underworld wants us to date and I don't want him."

"Good!  I like Connor, he's a nice boy, but you'd run rings around him."  She gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Call me daily."

"Yes, Buffy."

"Email too.  Especially pictures of any new hotties who show up."  She nodded. "Good.  Are we taking anyone with us?"

"Amber's going with you.  Amber?"  She came out of the living/rec room with her two bags.  "That's it?"

"Most of what I have.  I left my stolen Sammy t-shirt on John's bed so he could give it back.  I'll get a new one when I come back."  She beamed while Buffy and Dawn laughed. "I will."

"I saw Dean doing laundry and I nearly pounced to steal some of my own," Buffy promised with a smile.  Giles moaned.  "C'mon, let's go.  Wes has got to be doing the watchery version of the potty dance to get a break."  Dawn opened the portal and they walked through.  Buffy looked at the mess in the house.  "Hey, Wes, did we miss the party?  This looks a lot like a few frat houses I've been to in my short college time."

He came out of the kitchen with an ice pack.  "We were attacked last night.  We're doing fairly well but the living room needs to be replaced."

"We can thrift shop," Amber said happily.  "That way we don't spend a lot on things that could be destroyed.  Dawn's waiting."

"Give me a moment, Dawn."

"Sure, Wes."  She closed the portal.

He smiled, going to get his bags from his room.  He had packed everything he had, including a few new books he had found.  He came down with the rest of the girls pouting.  "I'm only going on vacation, ladies.  Rupert will see to you.  He did Buffy and Faith both you know."  Giles nodded and smiled at them.  He looked at his charges.  "Caridad, please show him where things are?  Rupert, I've been training her as a field watcher.  Xander and I think she's got the makings of an excellent one."  That got another nod.  "Call me if you should have any problems.  The landlord's name and number are on the bulletin board beside the patrol rotation schedule.  Plus the whining about dinner list.  Caridad, do behave while I'm gone."

"Yes, Wesley.  Say hi to Faith for me."

"She's still in LA.  She'll be back in a few with Brenda.  Morgan and Crissy had a small issue with a Gwalfark clan meeting and poker game."  They hissed.  "Oh, Wes, dream demon is showing back up.  Got Crissy."

"I heard.  The talisman is working?"

"It is but Crissy said it stinks."

"They can do that for the first few days until they dry," Giles admitted.  "Go, Wesley.  I can handle it."

"That's fine.  Any administrative things I need to handle?"

"Pay the food bill," Buffy told him.  Giles rolled his eyes.  "We do eat a lot."

Wesley nodded. "I've noticed that."  He looked at his girls, who all grinned sweetly and innocently back at him.  "Very well.  Anyone switching out for Amber?"  All but Caridad ran to get their things.  "Ladies, someone must patrol."

"I can," Buffy snorted. "I did it nightly before.  Caridad can go with me now and then if she wants and I've got Amber if I want a night off."  Wesley nodded.  "Besides, if we need more, all I have to do is call, right?"

"Correct.  As we have in the past."  The girls called Dawn and she reopened the portal, doing her nails now.  "Thank you, Dawn.  Come along, girls.  Do have fun.  It's a fairly boring job at the moment, Rupert.  Not much going on.  She has my journal," he said as he was drug through the portal by his girls.  The portal shut behind them but she had to open to let one last girl through then shut it.  "Dawn, thank you."  He gave her a hug.  "Go find your rooms, girls.  We'll get you assigned to classes and PT tomorrow."  They went up there.  "Anything new?"

"Two new hotty docs."

"Beyond the eye candy," he teased dryly, smiling at her.

"A small fight between Giles and Xander earlier.  I'm hoping Buffy cures him.  He's become the library ghost.  Annabelle had a slayer dream in English about some demon stud who wants Xander's panties for his own.   The profilers are in to look over a few cases that got handed to the agents.  Nothing much other than that."

"Let me write out the check for the food and then I'll go talk to Xander."

"He's in bed."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, they checked.  He's in bed.  We have a telescope on the building.  He got moved to the married tower."  He smirked at that.  "Well, yeah, the girls were using it to plan panty raids but that's them.  I'm a good girl, Wes."

"Your mother would be proud, Dawn."  He went to take over Giles' room and settled in once he had written out the check for the maintenance they paid DCIS for their housing and things.  He saw a folded paper shoved under the door then whoever kept walking.  He grabbed it to read, bursting out cackling at the thank you note and response.  Those girls!

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Red's Menace.

Dawn found her target, which was an excellent tribute to Xander and Dean's teaching.  So she snuck up behind him and pounced.  "Got you," she said happily when he yelped and turned to glare at her.  "Hi, Spike."

"Nibblet."  He looked her over.  "You've grown."

"I hope I'm not the scrawny girl I was before.  How could I get a decent boy looking like that?"

He laughed.  "Don't need one."

"Do so.  I'm seventeen now, Spike."  He stared at her.  "Buffy made Angel slip his soul by my age."

"Uh-huh.  Not a good benchmark."

"I don't like sleeping with vampires unless they're telling me a bedtime story."  She smirked.  "Why did you run away from my teachers?"

"They're bloody well insane," he complained.

"Only when the kids are cranky."  He snorted, shaking his head.  "C'mon, we'll buy you a new pack and then hit the base."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because that's where DCIS and all the rest of the slayers are.  Except for the few in Cleveland and the few in LA."  Spike whimpered.  "Xander did it after the Watchers blew everyone else up."  He shook his head quickly.  "Exactly.  He had to take over, even if Buffy was back on her 'no non-special girls allowed' kick."  She took his arm and walked him off, letting him buy a new pack of smokes before leading him back up to the base.  It was dusk so he was safe.  She found the guard at the usual spot.  "This is Spike.  My teachers sent him to me to help him.  He's got a witch inside him getting cranky."

"Uh-huh.  Does Doctor Jackson know?"

"Yup.  I told him earlier."  He called to make sure then gave Spike a visitor's pass.  She clipped it on for him.  "Thank you.  He's going to get pounced.  Is Xander back yet?"

"Later tonight.  After you're in bed.  Dean said that way he could have some sleep before you pounced him for presents."

She pouted.  "I'm not going to be mean about it.  Annabelle will knock them down and frisk them."  He laughed so she walked him on.  "Welcome to DCIS, Spike.  We're pretty cool around here."  She smirked.  "Xander was one of the first agents."

"That explains a lot," he told her.  He pointed at the shrub demon puffing itself up.  "Why is it here?"

"That's George.  He adopted some of us and Dean."  She stopped to pet it.  "Relax, George.  Spike is a nice vampire and he's here for help.  We're going to undo what the mean witch and the Powers did to him."  The shrub deflated his spikes and followed them back to the girls' dorm.  She held the door for him, watching as he went to lean against Annabelle to get petted.  "Ladies, this is Spike.  He's not one to pounce.  He's a very good fighter."

Brenda looked over and scowled.  "He's a vampire."

"Who has Willow stuck in him."

"Poor man.  I heard she babbled," another of the older girls said, cracking Spike up.  He nodded.  "Then I'm sure Dawnie and her teachers can help you.  They're major witches."

"Why are they teaching you anyway?" Spike asked.

"I kinda sneezed and exorcized a spirit from Xander and gave him a new body one night."  Spike gaped, his cigarette falling out.  George came over to stomp on it.  "Good boy, George."  She petted him again.  "Very good boy."  He rustled his leaves then went back to guarding his girls.  They needed it with a vampire in the room.  She smiled.  "Let me introduce you to John.  That way he doesn't try to stake you too."  Brenda pointed at the main building.  "Library?"

"Snack run."

"For movie night?" she asked hopefully.  The girls all nodded so Dawn squealed and went to help, dragging Spike by his wrist.  He was bemused but that was fine.  "John!"  He looked over from making popcorn.  "This is Spike."

"I figured it was since you're dragging a vampire around by the wrist."  He nodded politely.  "They may be slayers but I'll torture you and have fun if you hurt the girls."

"George stamped on his cigarette for him."

"Good!  You don't need to smoke."  He scowled and she laughed, giving him a hug before dragging Spike off again to tell Buffy she had him.  John shook his head, texting Sammy's phone.  He got back something about a chip so he brought the snacks back to ask.  "He still chipped?"  Spike shook his head.  "You had better not cause a single problem, Spike.  Am I clear?"

"Crystal.  Just want the bleedin' witch outta my head."

"That's not a bad reason.  She awake?"

"Purring."

"Her cat's with Cordette in LA," Dawn told him.  She hung up with her sister and dragged Spike back outside.  "Here, this'll work better so she can reform and not be pounced by George too."  She sat him down and sat across from him, putting her hands on his temples, opening herself to the magic and the feeling of 'Willow' in his mind.  "Hey, Willow, you wanna wake up?" she muttered.  "You're missing a lot of fun and over a year now."  Spike snorted at that.  "You hush."  She concentrated, finding Willow.  Then she poked her until her spirit woke up.  "You're possessing Spike and making him feel like Xander.  He's even wearing a loud shirt.  There can be only one Xander, you know that."

"The world would end," Spike agreed grimly.  He shut his eyes and helped by giving the extra voice a shove.  "Out of my head, witchy poo.  S'not nice to eavesdrop that way."  He felt her get stubborn so he shot a picture of him and Dru having sex at her.  She fled from that.  "Prude," he mumbled.

"Doesn't that position hurt?" Dawn asked.

Spike stared at her.  "Have to find out some day, huh?"

"Xander would spank."  She did as her teachers had told her, pulling Willow out more gently than she had Tim.  Without the sneeze this time.   She looked at the woman reforming next to them.  "Hi!  Have a good nap?"

"Dawn?"

"Duh.  Do you see another witch here, Willow?"

"Um, no.  How did you do that?"

"I have some wonderful teachers who want to meet you and work on your skills too."

"The Devon coven?"

"Elitist snobs now and then who didn't like Xander?  No, thanks anyway."  She gaped.  "I found a family of three witches who also hunt demons.  They've been very helpful.  Even when I used your journal to have a go at the Powers for being butts."  Willow shuddered.  "Now, we believe you saw the bomb and went incorporeal as it exploded.  If you can undo that you can be alive again.  I think you also linked yourself to something on Buffy, which is how you got stuck in Spike, merging with his blood on Buffy's shirt.  So can you think yourself solid again?"

Willow concentrated on her magic and slowly reformed as a solid being.  "Wow.  What happened?  You look tired."

"I'm older, Willow.  It's bee over a year.  But yeah, had a nightmare last night.  George the shrub demon was nice enough to come cuddle me since Xander's on vacation this week."  She stared at her, getting blinked at back.  Spike started to laugh.  "He is."

"I heard," he promised.  "Knew he was a geek."

Dawn nodded.  "Well, yeah.  Did he really beat one of the levels by winning a drinking contests with dwarves?"  Spike cackled and nodded.  "That's my Xander buddy."  She looked at Willow again, watching her wobble.  "Hey, Paige, I've got her solid," she called.  Paige appeared and took Willow with her to check her over.  "They'll bring her back in a bit."  She beamed.  "I think I heard your demon purring too.  It seemed to like her in there."

"It's insane too," Spike pointed out.

Dawn smiled.  "I'd say so after having to put up with Dru for so long."  She ran a hand back over his head then did a telling spell.  "The soul came back with you, Spike."  He gaped, moaning a bit.  "Sorry but it shows."  She gave him a hug.  "You're a great uncle and trouble buddy.  Wait until Sammy meets you."

"Sammy?  Another bint?"

"Not with how tall he is."

Spike cackled.  "We'll see what they think of the Big Bad later, ducks."

"I don't quack, Spike."  He laughed louder.  "So, want filled in on all the gossip?"  He nodded.  She shifted closer to start the tale with the hellmouth battle and the activation of all the slayers.  By the end she was tired and cuddled against him.  She let it trail off and looked up at him.  "So there we are."

He looked down at her.  "Only Harris can bring that sort of insanity."

"Gee, thanks," Xander said from behind them, making Spike jump.  "Didn't smell me coming?  I'm shocked since I need a shower.  It was sweaty in the car."  He grinned. "Hi, Spike.  Where's Willow?"

"With Paige and them getting a magical checkup," Dawn said.

"That's fine.  When she's back, we'll let the docs do it, just in case.  Speaking of, House wanted to take a tube of blood to see if he could find the virus that causes vampires.  You mind?"

Spike blinked.  "I don't need more chips."

"Not offering one," he said dryly.  "Just a small vial of blood drawn.  He's not really mean about it and he's doing a lot of research on how the various slimes, oozes, and poisons react on humans."

"Why not ask a healer?" Spike asked.

"Can't find them.  Most of them went into hiding when Glory started to make her move."  Spike moaned.  "Besides, we need how it relates to humans for the most part, not demons.  The agents here need to know."

Spike nodded. "Let me make a call.  See if I can get a book.  Good enough?"

"Vial of blood?" Dawn asked.  "That way we might be able to find a vaccine."

He rolled his eyes.  "If I must."

"Thanks."  She drug him off, Xander, Dean, and Sammy following.  "It's a movie night."

"That's why we're coming back tonight," Dean told her.  Spike stopped to stare at him.  He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.  "Dean Winchester.  My little brother Sammy Winchester.  We're the teaching team for the younger slayers."

Spike stared then looked at Xander.  "I hired them," he agreed.  "The girls needed the best and they're some of the best.  Plus really nice guys since they let the girls crush on them."

Spike blinked then shook his head quickly.  "World's going to hell.  Should've stayed dead.  Soddin' Powers."  Dawn swatted him.

Xander cackled.  "Oh, come on, Spike.  Just because I'm third-in-command here and second in the Slayers Council...."  He gave him a manic grin.  "Any idea how I got blessed with luck?  It meant we got on the ride the trip before it went off the tracks and injured ten people instead of us."

"Not a clue I can smell."  He backed away from him.  "Need Anya back, Mate?"

"She died in the battle, Spike, but a girlfriend would be nice."

Dawn snorted.  "Date an agent, Xander.  We'd like that.  It'd make all the girls happy to see you happily gay so no bad girls could pounce you anymore.  Even if you do make women scream and go bad from your tongue like Anya said."  Xander popped her on the head.  "Hey!"

"Bad thought you don't need, Dawn Summers."

"Yes, Xander."  She drug Spike off again.  "C'mon.  You'll like Doctor House.  He's kinda snarky in that mean and evil way but he's a nice guy most of the time.  Except when I forget my pap smear on purpose."  Spike stuffed his fingers in his ears to block out that topic.  "Sorry."

"I had better not be a godfather this year," Xander assured her.  "Or else I will paddle you until your mother comes back to save your ass."

"Yes, big brother."  She looked at Spike.  "He's threatened to beat all my boyfriends up too."

"So would I, nibblet."  He was led into the medical wing and looked around.  "Different than the last one I was in."  Chase looked up.  "Bloke."

"You must be Spike," he said in his Australian accent.  "Doctor Chase.  House?"  He came out of the office with his yo-yo, a gift from Wilson.  "This is Spike."

He looked at him.  "I wanted to see what a vampire looked like."

"I'm one of the prettier of the lot."

"Obviously."  He pushed him onto a bed.  "Let's make sure you're not a walking time bomb.  Your passenger Dawn was worried about?"

"Paige has her.  She'll send her back."

"That's fine.  We'll make sure she's really alive too."  He drew some blood and handed it to Chase, who split it up for them and Abby, then he got to work looking him over.  "Go to the demon face please?"  He shrugged and did it.  "Interesting."  He examined him then handed him a pack of blood.  "One of the girls donated earlier in case you showed up."

"Microwave is behind you," Dawn told him.  "So is he okay and should I send him to Buffy?"

"Unless he wants to hire on here to help the mini slayers or the agents," Xander said.  "She could probably use the insanity."

Spike snorted from warming up his dinner.  "Can't be that bad."

"Giles went psycho asshole like Travers," Dawn told him, making him moan and shake his head.  "Wanted all the girls in Cleveland, even when the city wanted to arrest them so they couldn't bring things there to try themselves against them.  He's also decided there's no other demons anywhere in the world but there and LA."  Dean snorted at that.  "I know.  You know.   He's being an ass.  His ManMS is going for *way* too long.  Hey, Doctor House, what would happen if we gave Giles pills for PMS?  Would it help his mood any?"

"It might make it so he can't get it up," House said dryly.  "Probably send him into crying fits from what I've seen when they give birth control to sex offenders."  He smirked.  "Still think it'd help?"

"Maybe being laid would help him more," Dean told him.  "Speaking of, Xander has that little peeing problem."

"I do not!" Xander complained.  "All I need is cranberry juice, Dean.  Thank you anyway."

"We can check.  It's a swab either way," House told him, pointing at a cubicle.  "So you don't horrify Dawn and turn her off men forever."

"Fat chance.  I've already seen that naked and lusted for quite a while," Dawn shot back.

"Dawn!" Sam shouted.

She smirked.  "I was fourteen!  I had to use the potty and he was in the shower after a hard day at the construction site.  Not like the telescope is mine."  House swatted her on the back of the head.  "Hey!  That's Tony's thing, not yours."

"A good man will keep learning every day of his life," House shot back as he limped off to check Xander over.  "So, which unclean whore did you sleep with?"

"Um, tavern wenches during the quest DD style game that I won."

"I heard.  They sent a peace treaty since we take care of the new lust god and you beat their evil goddess."  Chase cackled at that.  Xander pouted.  "You did."

"It wasn't hard.  So I guess that was really real and not a created place to play on?"  House smirked and nodded.  "Oh, well.  It's still a UTI.  I got them off Anya all the time."

"We'll see."  He found the swabs he needed and looked at him.  "Whip it out, kid."

"You're enjoying this way too much."

"You're too young for me."  He did the swabs and capped them.  "We'll let you know tomorrow."

"Yes, Doctor House."  He put his cock back into his pants and zipped up again.  "You might want to check Sammy's back.  He threw it out at Universal Studios."

"I can do that too."  He checked his heart rate.  "Not bad.  Better than it was."  He let him go.  "Sammy, front and center.  Dean, you move and I'm letting the girls drag you back here however they want to."  Dean moaned so he looked Sammy over.  "Should I take a swab from you too?"

"He's the one who sexed up all the tavern wenches in that game," Sam protested.  "Plus three prostitutes.  If Anya made him have that sort of stamina I feel sorry for his next girlfriend.  He'll kill her in bed.  He nearly did a few of the tavern wenches."

House snickered.  "I'll keep that in mind."  He found the problem in his back and put some heating goop on it that they had laying around for muscle stiffness, making him moan.

"Is he having the same test done?" Dawn called.  She got swatted by Xander.  "Inquiring minds," she protested.

"Mind out of the gutter, Dawn," Xander ordered, giving her a look.

"Fine.  Did you know girls could have butt sex too?  To get Willow out of his head Spike showed her a bit of him and Dru having butt sex while she was hanging up by her wrists from some chains."

"I *SO* did not need to hear that," Sam complained.

"Me either," Chase agreed.  "Though, to answer the main question, yes, women can have anal sex but it doesn't feel the same as when men have it because they don't have a prostate.  Should we have the expanded sex talk with you, Dawn?" he asked, grinning a bit since she was blushing.  She loved to try to make him blush.  Which he usually did but not tonight.

"Don't worry, I'm sure some nice boy will try to make you have gay style sex some year," Dean said.  "Then Xander will kick his ass and hand him to your sister.  Because he'd clearly be more her and Faith's type."  She giggled, giving him a hug.  Sam got released and Dawn gave him a nudge.  "Fine.  I didn't do anything."

"I'm sure you didn't hit a brothel at all, Dean," Sam called.  "And you've been scratching like you have crabs again."  He smirked at Chase.  "Payback for the time he gave me to the skanky ho and I caught something.  He did it on purpose to make sure I wouldn't have that low of standards ever again."

Chase patted him on the back.  "At least you know he loves you."

"Yeah but Dad about killed him for it when I had to hit a doc's office.  He tried on me, but me pointing out Dean had set us up nearly made him able to take the car up his ass from Dad's foot."  Dawn snickered at that.  "You should ask him."

"John told us if we asked another sex question near him he was going to ground us and make us go clean the prison sewers in bikinis."

"Eww," Xander said.

"Very.  Oh, speaking of the prison.  Tiff went with the hotty from space."

"So she's going to be a space slayer?"  She nodded.  "If he can put up with her I'm all for it.  Did Wes okay it?"

"He let them talk."

"More power to him then."  He looked at the doctor as Dean came out.  "Can we escort Dawn out so she can send Spike to Buffy?"

"See me before breakfast, Xander."  He nodded, walking them back out.  Chase called Abby, who went to pelt Spike with questions until he gave up and begged to go see Buffy.  House looked over as Paige brought back Willow.  "She infected or anything?"

"Nope but you probably need to make notes."

"We do," Chase agreed, leading Willow over to check her over.  "I'm Doctor Chase.  Welcome to DCIS, Miss Rosenburg.  We're going to make sure you're healthy before we get a report on what happened."

"DCIS?"

"The guys who evacuated the younger slayers, what they turned into," House told her.

"Then why is Dawn here?"

"Because all the slayers you called are here, except for a few in Cleveland and a few in LA," House said patiently.

"But... the Watchers."

"Set the bomb," he told her.  She whimpered, slumping some.  Chase made her sit up straighter.  "They've taken very good care of all the girls you called from all over the world."

"I knew that.  Xander said something about a six-year-old one?"

"She's with her foster family," he assured her.  "She's loved and well taken care of, plus they love to help her train.  Fortunately they think everyone will age out of their powers at twenty-three."

"Okay," she said weakly.  Faith walked in.  "Faith!"  Finally, someone she knew, trusted, and who understood her.  Those witches had been mean!

"Red."  She gave her a hug around Chase's stethoscope, getting swatted at.  "Sorry, oh great firm butted one."  He blushed at that, shaking his head.  "He's so much fun to make blush."

"I can tell."  She looked at her.  "Huh?"

"We'll talk once you're cleared."  She nodded at that, letting Chase finish up.  "She alive again?"

"It seems so.  We should pull some blood just in case her former state left her with low blood sugar or something."

"She's just confused," Faith told him.  She let them pull blood anyway then walked Willow off, telling her all of it.

"But we didn't want Xander to help," she complained.

Faith swatted her.  "X saved all these girls, Willow.  He's been good to us.  The only one who can't see that is Tweedy."  Willow moaned.  "That's why he turned into an asshole like Travers.  B's getting him healed though so it's cool."  She nodded at the new girls out for a walk with the one's kids.  "Evening, ladies.  Pretty night.  This is Willow Rosenburg; it was her spell that activated all of us.  She meant to get the ones on the hellmouth but it spread."

The one from Iraq looked at her.  "You'll learn better control I'm sure.  Like Dawn is."  She hopped on, smiling at the young girl.  "Faith, is Wesley here?"

"In his room.  X, Sammy, and the great one are back."  She smiled at that.  "He'll be lurking and getting reports tomorrow since X had that freakish luck on his vacation."

"You have no idea how strange it got," Dean complained from his spot watching Dawn work.  "She staying or going?"

"Going," Willow said.  "Buffy needs me."

Dawn waved.  "One portal we just put Spike through."  She ran for it and went to hug Buffy, making sure she was still sane and in the right reality.  "Faith told her so she's in shock, Buffy."

"I can handle that.  Thank you, Dawn, and thank your teachers for me too."  The portal closed and she pulled Willow off to sit and talk with her.  "It's all right.  Xander's really good in charge.  He's set up all sorts of plans to get the girls into school and get them trained by really good hunters."

"Wow.  Xander can do that stuff?"

"Yeah, Willow.  He's good at it and he's a great agent - even if he does drive Danny nuts now and then."

"That takes college."

"It was the same people who took the younger girls to safety.  They turned into DCIS.  They're pretty nice.  We were there for a few months before I took my turn here.  They've been very helpful and don't mind much when the girls go all perv over the cute agents."  Willow moaned.  "It's all right."

"It's not all right.  Xander's in charge of things."

"Yeah and he's damn good at it," she assured her.  "Or else we'd be homeless, foodless, and clothesless.  He's done really good.  Him and Wes both.  After we got blown up and coma'd they stepped up to handle everything.  Even if it does make Giles grumpy."

"He is?"

"He so is.  He's got old and useless feelings because Xander handled everything so well.  We're making plans for when we have to move all the girls here.  It's helping."  Willow just nodded.  "So, how was Paige?  She and her sisters are Dawnie's teachers.  They're really good.  They fight demons too so they know how to handle all the protection stuff and all that.  They've made Dawn calm down and do things the right way so she's got good control and she's making good choices."

"She told me she went to yell at the Powers using my journal."

"I wondered how she knew how to do that.  Yeah, the Powers were trying to play games.  Dawn went to point out that the only way they got their balance was if everyone was a robot or dead.  She made her point, got her teacher that's the missing sister of that group, she's possessing her, and then Xander joined in when she ran into troubles.  The Elders, the ones over the white lighters, sent a demon who was doing some atonement work for being The Source or something to make sure they didn't blow them up.  Because Dawn was way pissed.  She sneezed and gave a spirit his own body back.  That's why she has teachers."

"That's probably a good thing.  What about the coven in Devon?"

"I talked with them after Dawn ripped me a new one the day I woke up.  They were kinda snotty about Dawn.  Especially about Xander helping Dawn.  The sisters are really nice.  They even let Dawn babysit."

"That's cool," she agreed weakly.  "My cat?"

"With the youngest one and her foster family.  Neither one liked planes so they adopted each other.  Sorry.  You can get a new cat though.  Miss Kitty is just as spoiled as Cordette is."

"Cordette?  Did she follow Cordy around?" Willow asked.

"Don't know but she's really sweet.  She tried to beat me up for being mean to Xander when I said something wrong.  During the demon invasion we missed, they had to tie her to a chair so she couldn't go help.  She's one determined little girl."

"I can tell.  She's how old?"

"Um... eight now I think?  It's been a year and a half.  She turned seven right after she got adopted.  So yeah, I think she's eight."

"I'm going to look for a way to uncall the extra ones."

"Giles didn't like the journal Wes found but we'll see if we age out in about six months when the one girl from Sudan loses hers or not."

"We ran into her and her kids.  Plus one on crutches."

"Her house was destroyed by a car bomb in Iraq."

"Oh.  All over the world, huh?"  Buffy nodded, giving her hand a pat.  "I'm sorry."

"I'm not.  It's great.  Even if we have almost nothing to do around here, it's great to see all the slayers and the future ones are potentials as far as we can tell.  Dawnie's even training to be a future watcher under Wes.  So is Caridad.  Remember her?"

"I do.  How's Kennedy?"

"She's upstairs sulking.  Kennedy!" she yelled.  She came running down, then squealed and pounced Willow.  "Go easy on her, she just got unstuck from Spike's head."

"We'll talk," Kennedy assured her, pulling her girlfriend up to her room with her.  They had a lot of catching up to do.  It would help her be less confused too.  Because the confused look was too adorable to not pounce.

Buffy smiled.  "Giles, Willow is back," she called, going to find him in his room.  "Kennedy snatched her from me but she's back and whole."

"That's excellent news.  I've been looking up ways to uncall the extra girls."

"Will it work?"  He shrugged.  "Then we'll see.  As long as it doesn't activate the others that're potentials or are over age."  He gaped.  "They deserve a life if they can have it. Xander's right about that.  We're still human and still need the normal stuff sometimes.  The same as we made room for fun in Sunnydale, we need the normal stuff now."  She walked off.  "Will we need anything too funky?"

"The scythe."

"It's somewhere.  No idea where," Buffy called.  "I'll ask."  She emailed that to Dawn, who sent back it was in LAPD storage and they couldn't get it free yet.  Tony was trying.  "It's in LAPD storage, Giles.  Tony is trying to get it free for us.  It must've been in the explosion too."

"I'll see if I can help with that," he said as he walked into the kitchen.  "Tell Dawn I said hello."

"Already did."

"Good.  How is she?"

"She said she got to try to embarrass Doctor Chase again asking sex questions.  He answered but Faith got him this time."

"The girls need better hobbies."

"They'll be starting school in two weeks."

"Good point."  He went back to his room.  "Tell Willow to come see me when Kennedy is done with her."

"Sure."  She went back to her email reading, smiling at some of the stuff Dawn had forwarded.  It was cute.  Even cute kitty pictures.

***

Daniel Jackson looked up from his coffee fetching when he heard his name called.  Personally, he hated this new agent.  Especially when he called him Danny.  Jack, the guys he liked, the girls he treated like little sisters, they got away with calling him Danny.  The others... it was going to take a while to earn that bit of trust and respect.  Then again, half the guys reminded him of Jack...  He shook off that thought.  Before Jack heard and decided to retire to DCIS to help him.  The demons would certainly run faster from fear than they did whenever Xander showed up.  Even if they didn't have a reason to run.  He looked at the new agent.  He really hated this guy.  "What's wrong?"

"My report got returned?" he demanded.

Daniel nodded.  "With the memo to please do your own report, not copy and past Danny Messer's and sign your name to it."  He took a sip of his new cup of coffee.  "Each person at any scene sees things slightly differently.  Since Messer's report included lab data and you can't work the GCMS...."  He took another drink, watching him go purple.  Why had he hired this guy?  Oh, yeah, he knew something that only Xander on all the teams knew.  Hell, he needed someone else who knew bombs.  Or maybe that one slayer's father.  He walked off thinking.  It was sad but McKay was less annoying to Sam Carter than this guy was to him.  He stopped when he heard him following.  "You have a day to get that report redone.  It has to be to the prosecutor's office tomorrow.  They want to move quickly on it."  The man went red in the face.  "Are you feeling all right?" he asked blandly.

Xander grabbed the hall phone to call someone.  He had been heading for his own coffee.   "Doc, got a case of red in the face, huffing, could be having a mini stroke," he reported.  He hung up and looked at him.  "Daniel," he said, knowing how much the name 'Danny' bothered him from people who weren't allowed or friends.  Danny smiled at that.  "We just got a multi-team needing case.  We've only got one on base right now.  How do you want to handle it?"

"Why?"

"Miami's about to open into warfare," he sighed.  He got out of House's way when he heard his cane tapping up the hallway.  "Him, House."  He looked at his boss again.  "We're talking six clans, no hope of a treaty, it all started over who was the baby's daddy sort of war.  The ME got the first set of bodies this morning and called me *personally* to come stop them."

He sighed, looking at the stuff Xander had.  "Is the baby bi-species?"

"Yup.  So we've got an honor killing, which she got this morning, and then this just came in."  He handed the new information sheet over.  Danny moaned.  "Yeah, basically demon street gang war.  Want me to handle it with the girls, take my team with the girls?  Pull a team?"

"Have you talked to Giles?"

"I talked to Wes to find out what they could and would be able to do.  We're talking all the way through magical eruptions.  They proved they could use gas to start a fire."

"Crap."

"Anything that makes you swear is my team's case, but do you want us to handle it, or do you want us to handle it with the slayers?"

"Get with Giles in my office in thirty minutes.  Call Horatio down there and tell him we're coming, we're seeing which way is going to be for the better in this situation.  Doctor House, as soon as he can, he needs to do his own report for a case.  It has to be to the prosecutor tomorrow if possible."  He walked off.  Xander jogged off to get Wes.

"He doesn't need this," House warned Danny quietly.

"Neither does Miami.  In this case we're not sure which way is better."  He went to his office, grabbing a donut from the box on the way.  "Thanks for getting donuts, Tony's ghost."

Tony looked up from his reading, frowning at him.  "I am not a ghost, but you're welcome."

"Xander said no other teams are here?"

"I have to testify tomorrow so I'm stuck while my team's in Minnesota with Dean."

"Hell.  Xander just pulled up a major war in Miami."  Tony whimpered.  "Exactly."  He walked his donut into his office, finding Wesley dialing his phone.  "Thanks, Wesley."

"Welcome, Daniel."  He smiled at the gruff answer.  "I know it's early, Buffy, but we have a major situation in Miami.  Can you get me Giles please?"  He put it on speaker while she had him on hold.  He looked at the information.  "I'm not sure which way is better either at this point.  It seems so trivial."

"I think they were waiting for any excuse," Xander admitted.  "Four of the six clans had been at war in the past and they're still not exactly friendly.  So any spark would restart that fire."

"What's happened in Miami?" Giles' voice asked.

"Six clans have started a war over who's the baby's daddy after they honor killed the mother and child, plus most of her family and part of her clan," Xander told him.  "It's starting to impact normals, Giles.  That technically makes it a DCIS case.  The problem is that we'd need multiple teams or possibly multiple teams each with a slayer or two."

"Oh, dear. Which ones?  Do you have information?"

"What's the fax number out there?" Danny asked.  Giles rattled it off so he input it and put the sheets into the machine, sending it over.  "Should be coming out now."  Wesley took it to read over again.  "We're debating how we best work this case."

"The girls here would be most welcome to help if the ones still there don't want to," he offered.

"The ones here just started school yesterday," Wesley told him.  "We can't take them all out for a major case.  You have most of the girls who're out of school who aren't on a case.  How likely is this to spread around?"

"I emailed Don Epps," Xander admitted.  "They have branches of three of the clans in LA.  Actually, Cordette's science teacher is half of one of the clans."  He looked at the phone then at Danny.  "Up to you, boss.  I can head down with my team and a few of the girls.  The others can catch up if we need it.  Or I can go down as Slayers Council and do it that way.  That would stop the problems nearly immediately."

"I'd rather not make it a hunt and kill situation if we don't have to," Daniel said.  "Where's everyone else?"

"Minnesota just broke out in a ten-ghost, three demon situation where the demons were trying to call back their lost friends.  They also called back an older, Higher demon and it was trying to rampage.  That's where Dean and about a quarter of our older girls are."

"I had forgotten about that one," Giles admitted.

"In this case we were closer," Xander told him.  "We've got five field rated girls still here at the moment.  Two of which are having problems.  Brenda sprained her ankle and she's my most experienced.  I need to leave Crissy and Morgan in LA.  Caridad should be back there with you.  How do you want to play this, Giles?  And why isn't there a prophecy in seven months?"

"I'm not sure.  I'm looking."  He coughed to clear his throat.  "Do you want Buffy?"

"No, my team works better with Faith and Kennedy, or Brenda," Xander told him.  "Brenda will be okay tomorrow.  I can take John if Daniel can get the girls?"

"I can handle the girls," Wesley assured him.  "With them in school it's much easier and I'll have Sam."

"Good.  All right, I'll send Faith and Kennedy to back you up in Miami, Xander," Giles told him.  "Then if you need more you can call for more."

"I can agree to that.  Make reservations?" Danny suggested.

"We're leaving tonight.  Already made them, boss.  Waiting on Dawn to get the one girl back from Idaho to see her sister's new baby."

"Okay, go tonight.  Let me call Horatio.  Let him know we're coming in tonight.  What about the military transport?"

"Minnesota.  The rest of Tony's team has the regular plane in Maine with their case of the sea monster that's holding a few virgins hostage.  It wanted to negotiate with the fishermen up there and asked for that team specifically so they split from the Minnesota situation."  Danny shuddered.  "Last I heard it was okay.  Tim was negotiating."

"Whoever gets done first heads to Miami after you if you need them to," Danny assured him.  "The other two teams?"

"Court," Xander said dryly.

"I know it's necessary."  They both nodded.  "Can you get there sooner?"

"Only if I pull Dawn out of class for thirty."

"No, let's not.  She needs to be in school.  When are you leaving?"

"Six.  So by four.  She'll do it at lunch."

"That'll work.  Thank you, Rupert."

"Not a problem, Doctor Jackson.  That is why there are slayers."  He hung up and went to tell the two girls in question to pack and why.  Faith dove for the phone to call Crissy to make sure she was going to be able to handle it.  Buffy ended up being sent to LA to handle it with them, just in case.  Giles, well he needed to see why there hadn't been a prophecy recently.  It was rather unusual.

***

Xander stepped off the plane and looked at his team.  "Guys, I know we're tired.  I made hotel reservations.  It's a suite."  He found someone waiting on them.  "Kennedy."  She smiled and waved.  "Faith?"

"On the phone with Morgan.  We got in about an hour ago.  We waited since we don't know where you're staying."  Xander nodded, leading the way to the baggage claim.  "Hey, Brenda.  Hopping?"

"Twisted it last night falling out of bed having a nightmare."  She grimaced.  "John didn't want to let me come."

"I didn't want to make you come but we might need you as backup in a few days.  Better to have you here than not."  Xander handed over the sheets he had printed off for car reservations.  "Get another one, just in case," he ordered.  The ATF agent on his team jogged that way.  They got the rest of the bags and headed off once they had made sure they had them all.  Including the gear bag.  He hoped he didn't have to use it.  He found a familiar face waiting on him.  "Delko.  Happy meeting you here.  We're heading to the Olive Tree Inn.  I know it's small but it'll keep us all together.  Get us intel there?"  He nodded, following them.  "Before you ask, Tim's team is in Maine dealing with a sea creature that's holding virgins hostage while it negotiates with some fishermen up there to stay away from his nest.  If we need them, they're on their way down when they're done."

"That's good to know.   H and Alexx would be pleased."  He watched them pile into cars, smiling at the girls with them.  They only called out slayers when they were serious.   It was a good sign.  He followed in the crime lab hummer, calling Horatio on the way.  "DCIS is in with a team and three slayers, H.  He said if they need more, Speed and Ryan's team is heading down after they deal with something in Maine."  He listened.  "Olive Tree Inn.  He knows that.  It's closer to the area and pretty quiet though.  You know, I don't think the pimp running it will do much of anything while there's federal agents staying at his place," he said dryly, cracking his boss up.  "Sure, let me know if anything new comes in before then.  About forty minutes to get there and settle in.  Hopefully.  Thanks, H."  He hung up and made sure they were going to be all right getting there.  He watched Xander sign in, nodding at the owner they *knew* was a pimp but they couldn't prove he was hiring out his 'motel staff'.  "Which room are we working on the case in?" he asked Xander.  The owner coughed.  He smirked back at him.  "DCIS.  In to help the lab and PD with a case."

The owner handed him a key and took one set back.  "That's a bigger room.  Has a good working area.  Ignore the closet."

Xander shrugged.  "I had to stay at a real porn, rent by the hour place in LA the last case."  The owner shuddered.  "It's all good.  Have you heard anything about the situation?"

"That war going on?  They tried to get a church one of the others was praying in."

Xander grimaced.  "That'll stop first.  Thank you, sir."  He went to take that room and loaded most of the equipment with him.  He checked the closet then closed it.  "No getting ideas, Faith."  She laughed, settling in on the foot of the bed with the girls.  He looked at Eric.  "What do you have?  And church?"

"That's one of seven or eight things that have went up today."  He spread out the files they had already.  "This is the preliminary on the mass of bodies earlier.  Alexx couldn't identify why they killed them."

Xander pointed at a body.  "At her age, she's supposed to be lilac."

Eric groaned.  "Sick?"

"Bi-species and baby's daddy issues from what I've heard," Xander said.  "Then again, four of the six we know are involved, as of this morning's intel, have been at war in the past.  They only negotiated a peace treaty with Angel a few years back on threat of Angel going souless and killing them all for fun.  I'm guessing the others are joining in with their allies."

"Good to know," Eric said.  They went over each of the case files and the girls got them too, which did impress him.  They weren't treating the slayers like grunts.

"Xander, no offense, but we need a guy to coordinate info," Faith said.  "We're going to be hearing stuff when we solve issues."

Xander looked back at her.  "Want a CSI?  Someone Eric works with?"  She shrugged.  "Okay, Eric?"

"I'll let H do it.  That way he can pass it back to us.  Will he have to go hunting with you?"

"Hell no," Faith said dryly.  "Watchers make notes and write chronicles.  They don't hunt unless it's the end of the world.  REM is still broken up as far as I know plus no fat ladies in Miami apparently."  He smiled and nodded.  "You guys are gonna need more, X."

"I know.  We're getting Ryan's team down here when they're done with the sea monster.  If we need more, whichever gets off court first or Dean's team if they can solve the thing in Minnesota."  He held up the honor killing photo.  "Where was it taken?"

"In their house we think.  It looked pretty beaten up, had a few scales a few things that looked like dots of snot so we were assuming demons lived there."  He pulled out his PDA to get into the crime scene photos.  "Here."

Xander looked, then at the slime.  "That's not their residence.  They don't have slime.  Got a chemical composition on it?"  Eric handed it over and Paul, the ATF agent, got into his laptop to look it up.  Xander looked over his shoulder.  "Oh, wonderful.  They drug them there to have it done and disrespected one of the other clans.  They went searching for it."

Paul let Brenda see it so she could pass it on.  "Isn't this the same group that was causing us trouble in Cleveland?" Kennedy asked Faith.  Xander stared at them.  "Minor annoyances.  They have a parking maid in their clan so she tickets anything we've been riding in.  Another one in the water company who thinks we're behind and keeps handing over shut off notices until Giles had to go to the mayor for help.  Things like that."

"The one who did it or the one who got their living room torched?" Eric asked.

"The torchees, they're human enough to pass," Xander said grimly.  Kennedy nodded.  "I haven't heard about that."

"Wes got the reports," Faith said, shrugging a bit.  "You're over support and training.  Wes is over patrols."

"Good point.  Do I need to up the specific training for the girls?"

"Nah.  We've got it, X," Faith assured him.  "Buffy went to have PMS on them last week.  They're very sorry."  She smirked and he smirked back.  "She doesn't like being on the pill.  Sure keeps the vamps off my tail when I don't have one though."  She handed it back to Paul.  "Okay, where to first, X?"

"I want you three to head down to the demon areas together.  Brenda, you can sit out tonight and coordinate?"  She nodded.  "Get me intel.  Make sure they know you're working with DCIS, Faith."  She nodded, getting that.  "Tell them we want to see all the problems that are going on.  Everything.  Even the most minor complaints.  We're doing a roundtable here tomorrow night.  I want it to be written out, naming who did it, what happened, when, and why if they know."  She nodded, grabbing Kennedy and some weapons from the gear bag before going.  "No offense, Eric, but they didn't start at this level.  It's been minor crap for months probably.  This just blew up in your face."

"I get that.  That's not a problem.  Let me get H with Brenda?"  She nodded, smiling some.  "Tomorrow morning?"

"That'll be fine.  By then my slayer healing will have my ankle better."  He nodded, heading off to tell him that.  "Do we think it's going to take more girls, Xander?"

"God I hope not," Paul admitted. He looked at their junior member.  "Doug, what do you think?"

"I think someone's screwed and hopefully we can reach a new peace agreement to take at least some of the clans out of it.  Are we sure they're looking for a fight?"

Xander pointed at something.  "They drug these people to a neutral clan's place and set them on fire in their living room," Xander said.  Doug moaned and shuddered.  "Yeah.  We might need a full shut down in some areas.  I'm not sure yet."  He looked at Paul.  Then at Doug.  "Which one of you wants to play CSI this time?"

"We can work with the local ones," Paul assured him.  "Horatio's lab is the best in this part of the country.  Third or fourth overall.  That's why you stole Ryan, right?"

"Actually, Tim had just possessed me and said so."

Paul laughed.  "That's a good reason.  Why was House dealing with Persimmons?"

"He copy and pasted Messer's report," Xander said dryly.  "Including lab results."  They laughed.  "Not the first time from what Danny said.  Both of them actually."  He looked at Brenda.  "Get me a map?"  She went to the local convenience store to do that.  "Okay, guys.  I stopped in the armory before we left.  I've got a small sub-realm portal set up like the one we confiscated a few months back.  In it, I've got some artillery and reloads if we need them.  I have a good six boxes of each type of ammo.  Including the new heavy blessed iron ones and the holy water ones.  If we need it, we should have it.  Paul, conference in your people either tonight or tomorrow.  I don't want a local office to feel stepped on.  Doug, you used to be FBI.  Do them?"  He nodded.

"I'll do DEA and Homeland locally.  The girls should be back in about two hours so go unpack."  They went to do that while he looked up their numbers.  "Hi, this is DCIS Agent Xander Harris.  I need to speak to the agent on call for Miami please?"  He smiled.  "Yes, now.  Not a full emergency but we've got a bad case in the area and I'm FYI'ing.  Thank you, I can hold."  He waited, smiling when a female voice came on demanding he leave her city.  "Sure, I'll leave you with at least six demon clans going into open warfare as of this morning," he said dryly.  She moaned and whimpered.

"We're here at the Olive Tree Inn.  I've got three slayers with us.  My team as well.  We're working with Caine's lab.  They called us when they got an honor killing.  Exactly.  We're calling all the locals.  That way no one feels danced on toes and no one can complain we're not nice.  Again.  Okay?"  He nodded.  "That's what I'm working on.  I do.  I have three girls locally.  Two are out getting information, one's backup so I can rotate out.  Yeah, full problems.  Sure, we'll be here.  I'm taking local demons' problems to see where and when it started tomorrow night.  Here.  Yup.  I'm in the executive suite with the straps.  Thanks, ma'am.  If you need us, let us know.  One's calling the FBI, one's doing ATF since they were.  I'll call DEA next."  He smiled.  "That's kind of you.  Thank you."  He hung up. "They really do hate working with us."  Someone knocked so he answered the door.  "Brenda, problems?"

"Shitbag tried to arrest me for buying a map," she said, handing it over.  "Let me hit my room, Xander.  Night."

"Night.  Thank you."  He looked at the guy she had dragged back for trying her.  "You would be?"

"Why do you have crime scene photos?" he demanded, seeing them on the table.  Xander pulled out his ID, making him back away looking scared.  "You're..."

"DCIS, yes.  And that was a slayer.  You're....?  So I can ask to see if you need to be included when we hand in reports?"

"Stetler, IAB."

Xander shrugged.  "Our internal affairs people don't tend to assault young women.  She really is not in a happy mood tonight and I did send her out to get me a map.  Now, anything else?  If not, I'm meeting with Caine in the morning and the local community tomorrow night."

"You stole Wolfe from him."

"I got possessed by Speedle too," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "They're both in Maine.  They only send my team for the really bad shit.  Like you guys having a street war."  He shuddered.  "Now, anything else?  I have to be able to make plans."  He stomped off.  Xander waved.  "Have a happier night.  I hear Miami's full of pretty people."  He shut the door and went back to his map; looking it over.  Starting by marking where all the cases had been so far.  It got put onto the wall and pushpins inserted just deeply enough to stick so he wouldn't damage the walls.  He didn't want to have to fix damage the day before they left and Jackson would kill him if he had to pay for it.

***

Brenda smiled at the redhead stomping up to her seat.  "Lieutenant Caine?"  He nodded, staring her down.  "Brenda.  One of the slayers, sir.  Sit down and I'll go over what Faith and Kennedy found last night."

"You're working it as a Slayers Council case?"

"No but we do have a mutual aid pact with DCIS.  If they need slayers, they call us.  You lucky man you, you get three of us and more if you need it."

"Will we?"

She smiled.  "We hope not.  We're seeing where it started later tonight.  Sit, please.  I can buy you coffee."  He sat down and she pushed over some notes.  "This is what Faith and Kennedy heard last night on patrol when they went.  We usually start out by going to let people know we're here and that they can come to us.  In this case making sure they knew we're working with DCIS.  You'd be surprised how often that solves some of the worst of the problems very quickly."

"I'm sure it would.  Things overheard?"

"That, a few rumors they told to Kennedy.  Faith also told them that Xander's hearing problems tonight.  He wants to know when, where, and why it started.  He thinks it might've been  going on longer than we think.  It doesn't usually explode into open warfare immediately.  Like any war, it has more subtle beginnings and someone behind it being pushy."

"That's most reasonable."  He looked it over, nodding at the waiter when he came.  "Coffee, just milk please," he requested quietly.  The waiter sat down so he looked at him.  "Agent Pierce, Homeland.  Nice meeting you here."

"You as well.  Harris called us last night to let us know he was in town with three of the slayers."  Brenda smiled and wiggled her fingers.  "The other two?"

"Faith and Kennedy.  They're sleeping.  I had a twisted ankle yesterday so I'm backup and he'll be doing our information exchange for the lab and between the slayers if we can talk him into it."  Horatio looked at her.  "The agents need to be able to focus on the case.  If we hear things outside it, we need to tell someone.  This way news doesn't get lost when we're tired.  We report to you like we would a watcher, then go sleep."

"That's logical," he agreed.  "Then I can hand out to whoever needs to know in the department and other agencies?"

"That's the plan since most cops are freaked out by Xander and us girls."

Horatio gave her a look.  "I'm not but I don't particularly like him."

"Not his fault he got possessed by Speed."

"Good point."  He looked at the amused agent.  "Timothy said Xander was going 'here, ghosty' next to his grave and got stuck in him when he looked to see what was going on.  He's got his own body again thanks to a witch."

"That's a powerful witch."

"Yes, Dawn is," Brenda agreed.

"Ah!  Summers.  Okay, so no going rogue."

"With her teachers?" she snorted.  "Less chance than of Rosenburg going white lighter some day."  Horatio gave her an odd look.  "They have to be people who were good, kind people before.  I asked and the one Dawn knows said that demon hunters don't turn into white lighters, but they're occasionally called as guardians of a different sort.  So she'd be there.  Maybe even with her girlfriend, Kennedy."

"Ah," Horatio said. "Will we be seeing her?"

"If the shit hits the fan," Brenda said seriously.  "I'm not really looking forward to it."

"We all hope it doesn't come to that," Horatio agreed.  He pointed at a line.  "What's that?"

She looked over his arm and frowned.  "Reading's not my best skill but I think Faith said that was an overheard at the demon blood bar thing."  She saw his heated look and held up a hand.  "My first watcher, before the Turok-Han and all that, hated that I might need an education some day.  Even when I did go to school I was poor in it, wasn't allowed to work with others because it might take my focus from my training, all that stuff.  So Xander and John have been helping me.  The very second thing Xander did was start the girls taking classes.  Starting with demonology and that stuff, but once he found out I couldn't read at that point, he had me learning how."

"What was the first thing?" the Homeland agent asked.

"Self-defense.  One of us was called as a six-year-old," she said quietly.  "She's with a great adoptive family now.  Xander made sure the mistakes of the past stayed there."

Horatio nodded.  "That is a good thing."

She smiled.  "We're hiring and so is DCIS," she teased.  "Some of the girls need a swift kick and a flexible mind."

"I'd probably spank," Horatio admitted.

She laughed.  "Depends on the girl, Lieutenant.  Some of the horniness patrol could probably use it."

He blushed and cleared his throat. "If they come and cause problems I'll offer or let Alexx have them."

She smiled.  "They could use another mom.  Abby's a great big sister and John makes an excellent dad but we're short on women at DCIS."

He nodded.  "Not many want to deal with this subject matter either."

"Amen," Brenda said dryly.  "But Willow's spell activated those of us who weren't there too."  He gave her an odd look.  "I was limping then and was evacuated with the little kids.  I had broken my ankle getting away from the things trying to kill me.  Xander's the best big brother any of us have ever had."

He smiled slightly.  "So I've heard from Ryan Wolfe."  He let the agent see the information he had.  "What's going on tonight?"

"Xander had the girls put out a call that we want to hear from the community.  When it started, why if they know it, all that.  Any complaints they may have in any field.  With some of these it only took a nudge.  With them doing the honor killing in another clan's living room to bring them into it, I doubt he's not thinking about puppet masters arranging to put pressure in the right spots."

"If they are and human?" Horatio asked.

"Depends on the system.  We have the jail for whoever gets into it.  No matter which side starts it."

"I heard it was on the base," the Homeland agent offered, handing it back.

"Under," Brenda corrected.  "It's all underground, heavily alarmed and warded, and we have a few residents.  Including one hunter who was in it for pelt trophies."  Horatio moaned.  "Hunting a problem creature going rogue is one thing.  The same as taking out a problem killing people or other demons is.  Taking them out for money and prestige?"  She snorted.  "Pisses us all off."

"Good to know," Horatio said, smiling a bit.  He could like this very blunt young lady.  A striking brunette walked up to their table and sat down, taking Brenda's coffee to sip.  "One of the other girls?"

She stared at him.  "Damn your hair's bright in the sun."  The agent laughed at that.  She smirked and waved.  "Faith.  Second senior slayer."

"Faith, this is Lieutenant Horatio Caine.  He's the guy who used to be Ryan and Timmy's boss."

"Hey."  She looked at the other agent.  "Hmm.  Too classy dressed to be DEA.  Federal prosecutor?"

"Homeland.  Agent Simon Pierce."

She smirked at him.  "The cute one would be here but she's busy in Cleveland.  Some of the same clans have been being a pain to us.  Annoyance stuff like having one in the water department that keeps shutting it off and saying we aren't paying the bills."

He winced.  "I hope you get it straightened out."

"The mayor's a nice guy.  He did.  Then he sicced Buffy on her the next time.  It got stopped."  Brenda laughed so she drank the rest of her coffee.  "Any questions about any of that?"

"This one item," Horatio said, finding it for her.  "Is that literal?"

She read it over then nodded.  "Yeah, some demons don't want the hellmouth somewhere it gets cold in the winter.  Cleveland has snow and  most of them are still sorta, kinda living on the lizard biology system.  Cool or fully cold blooded instead of self-warming models.  They'd like to move it somewhere warmer.  Doesn't come much warmer than Miami or Orlando.  Plenty of people to bother or eat.  Lots of empty real estate to hide in.  All that.  Makes it a better choice than South Texas.  Speaking of, Kennedy and I found evidence of a lot of vamps last night, Lieutenant.  Have you seen that?"

"I hadn't.  How many?"

"We staked a good sixty.  Not unusual for a city this size, but that was in one bar."  He shuddered.  "Their bar admittedly.  They started the brawl, but oh well."  She shrugged.  "Kennedy's very well trained.  She had private tutors."  Horatio rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.  "Her parents had bucks.  It happens even in the bad old days.  So we'll be looking into that for you as well.  Even if we do have to write reports on it.  Smart boy Jackson said so," she said at Agent Pierce's odd look.  "We do reports on anything while we're for DCIS."

He smirked at her.  "Have fun?"

"Hell no.  B writes like a chimp some days."  Brenda snickered quietly.  "Hers are better than mine though.  I'm not really a school sort."  Brenda patted her.  "Some of us live on our prettiness and muscles."

She smiled.  "You're a great slayer, Faith.  You've done tons in your career that we'll never live up to."

"I hope not."

Brenda winked.  "I wasn't talking about that.  I mean how you broke Xander in."  Faith cackled but nodded.  "Many girls are in awe of you for that alone.  That and you can watch Buffy change clothes three times a day and not say stuff."

"She's fashionable.  That's how she grew up."  She smiled at the older men.  "So, we're at the Olive Tree Inn with the DCIS guys.  We'll have a full sit rep tomorrow.  If something happens today...."  She wrote down the cellphone numbers she had on the back of the notes for them.  "That's me, that's Kennedy, that's Xander's."  They nodded and wrote them down.  "Now, I need a nap.  I only got to bed at six.  I want to spend some time scoping the hotties Ryan said you guys have."

"Do a club hunt," Brenda said, getting a smirk back.  "Could help."

"Could," she agreed.  "See us tonight or early tomorrow, guys.  Anything else?"  They shook their heads.  "Then let me get the mini-B here to bed.  Night, guys."  Brenda put down money for her coffee and left with Faith.  They had photocopied the notes for them.

Horatio looked at the agent.  "They are very interesting girls."

"You have no idea.  I used to work in the LA office.  I left after the invasion.  They were *all* there, all the awake ones."  He stood up.  "Give me that if it needs to come our way."

"Gladly."  They shook hands and the agent left.  Horatio finally got some coffee and went back over the notes.  Some of them were very interesting and he did have some things to talk to people about later on.  Including that subtle vampire threat apparently.

***

Xander opened the door the next morning at the knock, nodding at the Lieutenant.  He let him inside while he yawned.  "Sorry, got to bed at five."  He pointed at the stack of papers.  "That's all the problems that got reported to us last night.  Not in chronological order.  I was going to get up in an hour and work on that if Paul hadn't snuck in to do it on me.  He does that."

Horatio sat down.  "Sleep, Mr. Harris.  I'll work on it."  Xander pointed at the laptop and the form on it.  "That's fine."  Xander handed him the box of pushpins too.  "Any code?"

"Present ones in red.  Past one month back in blue.  In the last month white."  He nodded and Xander curled up on his side again, one hand on the knife under his pillow.  He was exhausted.  He could make himself sleep with this strange man in the room.  Tim said to trust him no matter what - that he did the same stupid, yet necessary things.

Horatio went over each of the forms, finding what needed what and updated the map as well.  By the time Paul came over an hour later he was half done.  He nodded with a point at Xander.

"I know," he said quietly.  "Let him.  He was up until nearly dawn."  He helped update the map for him.  Horatio was doing good inputting records.  The map was showing a few gaps and he wasn't sure why.  "What's in this area?"

Horatio looked.  "That's where a few private schools and a few very large churches reside."

"Most of the ones we've heard doing problems aren't bothered by holy objects.  That's a pattern issue."  He wrote that down.  "This other big spot?"

"That's a park.  We get some muggings there but there's never much crime in that area.  One of the local mafia Dons lives near there."  That got a nod.  "We are usually very surprised when anyone does anything there and they usually learn better after the first time."  He pointed at an area.  "I don't know why it's not there.  The girls went hunting there according to the notes I got yesterday."

Paul looked.  "Hmm."  He frowned.  "I don't know.  Are those areas predominantly demons or humans?  Do you know?"

"I try to avoid thinking about it unless it comes in handy on a case," he admitted, looking at him.  "I see all citizens of Miami as the same: needing my protection."

"Excellent."  He looked.  "Is that near the Cuban part of the city?"

Horatio smiled.  "But not into Little Cuba.  I don't know why not.  That particular side is relatively poor."  That got another note made.  Xander made an inquisitive noise.  "Some oddness in the pattern of happenings," Horatio said.

Xander got up and came over to see, taking Paul's coffee.  "Eww."  He glared at him and got handed his own cup.  "Thanks.  Tea, ick."  He sipped, looking at it.  "It also looks like they're shifting areas based on the time code."  Horatio nodded.  Paul handed over his notes.  "Interesting."  He sorted the database they had created, finding what he wanted. "The ones near that area with all the churches aren't bothered by holy objects."  He went over the full list with a frown.  "Only two reported assaults were and they may not be related."  He let Paul see.  "Isn't that one part of the last case they had down here?"

"I think so."  Xander sent that to Ryan Wolfe.  "We'll see."  He went back to it.  "This really does look strange.  Why avoid a religious area?  Or a mobster's area?  Demons don't usually get noticed by them and most of them don't watch what we do."  He looked at Horatio.  "Do you think that one does know and care?"

"I've never heard that he did.  He has no interest in the occult that I know of either.  If I heard right he fired someone who did."

"So they're avoiding it to keep out of that level of problems?" Paul suggested.

"Could be," Xander admitted.  He looked at the notes the girls had made last night, frowning.  "See, this makes no sense.  This isn't a power play, this is an annoyance play."  He let them see.  "That's like blowing snot on someone then running away."  He got online, sending one of his local contacts a message.  He got one back a few minutes later, smiling.  "Ah, frat prank!"  He beamed.  "There's a demon college."  He put a black pushpin into the area where the mafia ruled.  "It's hidden under the park.  If they act there, they'll be in deep shit since the demonic mafia tends to run some of those. Or the most powerful of demons."  He and Paul shared a look.  His coworker shrugged.  "BRENDA!" he bellowed.  She came jogging in.  "Good, you can walk.  There's a demon college here."

"Really?  Why?"

"Because they like the heat."  He pointed at the black pushpin.  "There.  See if you can scout information there and see if you can talk to a higher up.  I need to know if they're going to let us step in or if they're going to squash it like a bug."  She looked then nodded, heading out.  It wasn't that far away.  He looked at Horatio.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, though I don't see what I did."

"Xander works best when someone plays wall," Paul told him.  "He bangs his head against it until something comes or he babbles at it until something better comes."

"Then he's definitely welcome."  He shifted in his seat, looking at the map.  "Why not the rest of the city?"

"Are those areas covered by traffic cams, park cameras, those things?" Paul asked.  He slowly shook his head.  "That's why.  Becoming a pain in the ass and starting a war is one thing.  Getting the normal folks into it would create the situation they did.  I'm betting that attempted church arson was a young and stupid one."  Xander nodded, letting him see.  "Yeah, they said it was the young of their clan and they had punished them.  They staked them out for one of the local sea monsters to eat last night."  He handed it to Horatio.  "It's horrific but some of them do work on that sort of honor code.  Even if we cringe."

"I'm guessing that's what happened when the slayer system started," Xander admitted, frowning at one entry.  "What the hell?"  Paul grimaced but looked.  "This one.  That's a Higher demon.  Like D'Hoffryn over the vengeance demons."  They shared a look.  "Power play?"

"Could be," he admitted.  "Or that one was pretty minor.  It could've been him proving he was still here.  Faith!" he yelled.  She came strolling in.  "We have a Higher here."  She grimaced.

"Like Anya's old boss higher," Xander said, showing her the entry.

"I saw him at the bar last night.  He was scowling into his putrid looking drink of ick."  She sat down.  "I was advised not to come near him."

"Go near him today.  If they protest, you're on DCIS business. We got called in because of the problem and I want to know what he's going to do.  If he steps in I need to know first."  She nodded, going to find him again and ask that question.  He looked at Paul.  "If so, we've got issues."

"You said you brought artillery."

"I did.  Including in case we didn't stop the idiot doing the ascension down here."  Paul shuddered.  "I promise, I won't let it nibble on you like the last one did Merps."

"Thanks, Xander.  Really.  Though, House might like a sample of the poison."

"Sure, we'll cart the parts back so he and Abby can have stuff to experiment with this time."  He smirked.  "It should be next week."  He called Faith.  "Ask him if we stopped the ascension too please.  If not, I've got artillery."  He hung up and went back to sorting.  "This still makes no sense.  There's got to be a power player behind all this."

Paul took it.  "Make more coffee, Xander.  We'll wait on scouting reports while you eat too.  I do not want the girls to yell at me for you losing weight again."  He nodded, going to do that.  He smiled at Horatio.  "He's like a big brother to all the slayers so they worry horribly about him."

"As they should.  He protects them," Horatio agreed.

Paul smirked.  "More than.  Even from the other two last watchers when they argue."  His phone rang.  "Paul....  Hey, John.  Out finding a burger.  What's wrong?"  He listened then nodded once.  "Put Wesley on please.  Wes, Paul.  We have sixteen demon clans now involved in a war.  Why are you and John starting a pissing contest over how he's training some of the girls?"  He listened.  "That's fine but Brenda's going to be training the later potentials and other hunters, Wesley.  So quit!  We don't need this.  No one does.  We have a possible ascension in a few days down here as well.  She's off at the local demon college seeing if they're going to make a move in this.  No I'm not.  It's a case.  If we need more help we have more teams coming.  I've got Faith, Kennedy, and Brenda, Wesley.  You knew all this last night."

He hung up and called Dean.  "Wesley either has short term memory loss or something's going on.  Please.  Let me know."  He hung up and called Buffy.  "It's Paul, on Xander's team.  Just a head's up.  Wesley is acting funny so the boys are going to be putting him in for an exam.  Forgetting that we had girls down here, Buffy.  Yeah, that sort of strange.  Well, we'll check for possession first.  She's off finding a Higher demon that lives down here but I'll tell her to call.  Why?"  He nodded once.  "That's between you two, Buffy.  I don't know if she'd care if you shopped for her or not.  I'll text her."  He hung up and did that then looked at Horatio.  "Yes, it's always like this and then some of the mid-range teenage girls go all pervert by drooling or doing panty raids in our drawers."

Horatio burst out laughing.  "I'm sorry, but that's just a funny image."

Paul held up a hand.  "They prove they have stealth training and someone has some planning ability.  They set up a telescope on top of their dorm to look in certain windows.  The girls sneak in and out without us realizing it until someone goes looking or does an inspection.  We've had three hand-backs since they started it.  One during dinner because they stole every single pair Xander owned.  He gathered what he could, sorted out his, Sammy's, and Dean's, then handed us the box.  John did an inspection to get the rest back for us.  One crawled into Wolfe's bed from what I heard.  Before my time but one did."

Horatio laughed.  "I'm sure Speed is helping straighten them out."

"He started a pool about who was going to be the new favorite target the next month.  They alternate it so they don't get bored and the guys don't try to stop them.  Though, Doctor House put a dye pack in his, got three of them the night he showed up."

"How long did it last?"

"Five days."

Horatio nodded.  "About right from the ones I've seen.  Up to two weeks."

"We have super goo cleaners thanks to the occasional bout of slime."  He got back to work since he heard Xander coming back.  "Hey, Xander?"  He looked up as he walked in.  "Wes is going strange.  The boys are taking him to be examined."

"Wonderful.  Why?"

"He forgot which girls you had."

"Uh-huh.  And?"

"Pissing contest with John over the training."

"Hmm.  If not, I get to spank, right?"

Paul nodded.  "There was a bet on how long it'd take before you did it to the library ghost."

Xander smirked.  "Don't tempt me," he mouthed.  Paul laughed.  "Any other cheery news?"

"Buffy wanted to know if Faith would mind if she shopped for her."

"Probably."

"I texted so she could answer herself."

"Good.  Any other good news?"

"Not yet."

"Even better."  He sat down to eat, handing over the lunch he had gotten Paul then the salad he had gotten Horatio.  "I went with a safe choice and got you low fat Italian."

"Thank you."  He dug in while they waited on news.  It'd take a bit for the girls to find someone higher up to talk to.

***

"I swear to God, if you don't leave me alone I'm going to have Jack retired by the President so he can be my assistant and run this mess for me!  Then I'm bringing McKay back so he can head over the agents!" Daniel shouted at that same agent.  The agent backed away.

Doctor House stomped up the hallway, taking Danny's wrist to check.  It got pulled away.  "Looks like someone else needs a vacation too," he said blandly.  "Maybe you could spend a week on your old project so you don't inflict Jack on us?  I'd hate to club him in the head with my cane for what he considers a sense of humor."

Danny looked at him.  "If I did that I won't be coming back.  They won't let me.  They'd save me and put me back in my old office.  Then I'd never be driven insane by this stuff ever again."

"Pity."  He looked at the cowering agent then back at him.  "I find the phrase 'you're fired' to be very cathartic now and then."

"Then we're short an agent."

"You have ten applications according to Xander's tired babbling."

Danny moaned, rubbing his face.  "I know.  We need a full new team."

"So hire one."  He shrugged, then looked at the moron.  "What did you do this time?"

"Nothing!" he defended.

Danny growled, making him back off.  "Don't even try it."  He looked at House.  "I'm not sure if Tony put things into place so I could fire anyone.  The last time I did we ran into troubles."

"Well, the other option is shooting him.  I hear that's a lot more fun anyway."

"Don't tempt me.  I like my zat."

House smirked.  "It is a very nice weapon and all, but have the boys do it.  Rock salt hurts like a bitch according to them but it's not fatal."

Danny snickered.  "That might work."  The agent stomped off.  "Well, we needed apartment space."

"We did."  He patted him on the arm.  "Between emergencies, take a vacation.  Your blood pressure is through the roof.  Like Xander's was."

"What's wrong with Wesley?"

"That same demon who wanted Annabelle and Sam."

"Oh, him.  We have got to find a way to protect them when Xander's off on a case."

"Let them.  That's *their* job.  Your job is to find another few agents to take the idiot's place.  This week if possible so they can start the specialized training lessons soon."

"Good point.  Thank you, House."

"If you have to, Abby said your former project was nice.  Send him there."

"I wouldn't wish that on the military."

"So send him to the DEA.  They're always screwing up something."  He walked off.  "Who's where that I'll have to watch out for?  No one's come to bother me for a few days so I know something's up.  Even Chase knows something's going on that's probably going to warp the universe and not in that fun way that would give me easy women to play with."

"Minnesota has a major issue.  Dean's there with a few of the girls and the rest of Tony's team plus a few agents.  Miami's in deep crap at the moment.  Xander's down there with three of the senior slayers.  Wolfe's team is in Maine."

House shuddered.  "Let me know if we have to go pick up casualties or just take them in when they get here."

"I will.  Thank you."

House waved a hand.  "Make sure you can fire him.  Then you can make up pithy quips so you don't sound like a bad pseudo-reality show."

"I am."  He went to do that.  A phone call would work well enough so he didn't have to bite anyone in person.  "Director.  I expected to talk to the head of HR.  Making sure I won't be complained at when I fire the agent I caught skimming other's reports."  He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his forehead.  He really didn't like being in command.  "Because either he goes today or I'm going to bring Jack here and let him be my assistant."  His direct boss choked at that.  "Then I'm brining the best scientists I know, who cannot get along, and one's worse than Jack and Xander Harris combined for sarcasm and deep wit, and put that one overtop of the agents while the rest do RD.  Please, don't send me anymore."

He hung up and called the HR person again.  "This is Daniel Jackson. You yelled at me last time for firing someone.  I have one plagiarizing reports.  How many pieces do you want him in?"  He smirked at her assertion one would be preferable, two at the most please.  "I was told shooting him would be cathartic.  Sure, we can do that.  I can have him back in DC today.  I can even get him help packing.  Thank you."  He hung up and called John's cellphone.  "The annoying ass is leaving.  Yes, that one.  Let the girls doing PT help him pack?  They want him in DC by tonight.  Thank you.  It's this or I'm zatting him until he's a pile of dust."  He smirked as he hung up.  "Why me?" he moaned, leaning back further, hoping his headache would ease.

Tony leaned in.  "You know, there's a worse fate.  You could be on Xander's team in Miami since they might have an ascension if we didn't stop it in time."  Danny moaned.  "In three days.  Along with sixteen clans going to war."  Danny moaned higher this time.  "Which would you rather have?"

"Cyanide.  I hear it only hurts for a second."

Tony laughed.  "If you do that, I'm in charge.  I will have Dawn pull you back so you can be our permanent, ghostly director."  Danny glared at him so he smirked back.  "Still want the cyanide?"

"Hell no."  He sighed.  "Anything good come of the court case?"

"Not yet.  They're deliberating now.  I was the last to be called.  So we'll see soon enough.  Want some tylenol?"

"Please.  I had to fire the ass."

"Good!  I was going to shoot him if he tried to hand in my report."  Danny looked at it and groaned, tossing it at him.  "Flack figured he'd try it again after hours.  Figured you'd catch it."  He waved and went to shred that one since he had already submitted it.  He looked it over. "He grammaticked it," he called.  "And screwed it up."

Danny laughed.  "That's because he has no talent.  He's the last one I'm accepting from Homeland unless they're skilled and we can prove it."

"Sure, boss.  Have you checked McGee's yet?"

"Have, sent him an invitation."  He came out to get some coffee from the machine in there since it wasn't empty this time.  "He'll be out in a few weeks.  Abby promised to throw him a party if he wanted to stay."  He took a sip once it had sugar.  "Any other good hires?"

"I tried to get Gibbs to hire on as a watcher."

Danny blinked then shuddered.  "Think I could suggest that to Jack?"

"Probably.  They do have skills the girls could use and neither one would hesitate to spank Rupert."

"Good point."  He went back to call him.  "If I *ever* get another agent from Homeland in as a mole, I'm having the president retire you and make you my assistant, Jack.  Either that or making you a watcher assigned to the base.  You and your clone."  He hung up on his protests, smiling at the happiness he had extended.  Jack would call back and rant in a few, when he could finally speak and not splutter.  He sent an email to Xander, getting back a progress report, a picture of the map they had, and a copy of all the information they had gathered so far.  Just in case they got blown up.  Danny sighed and called.  "Xander, was that *just in case* or a regular just in case?" he asked, taking a sip.  "Where are you moving you guys to?"  He wrote it down.  "That'll work.  Thank you, Xander.  I'll let the others know.  Tony's done.  Want him?"  He smiled. "That'll work.  I'll get you backup heading your way today if possible."  He hung up.  "Tony, Xander had a just in case feeling," he  yelled.

"Damn it!"

"Spilled your coffee?" he taunted when Tony walked in.  "He thinks they might be attacking the hotel.  He's moving everyone to a safe house Lieutenant Caine knows."

"I can head.  I'm done with my testimony."  He went to pack a bag and check out his sidearm from the armory.  Benny Ray gave him an odd look.  "Xander had a just in case feeling about the Miami thing attacking them."  The Marine shuddered.  "Danny's got a horrible headache.  Fair warning."

"I'll deal with it and tell John at lunch."

"Thanks, man.  What did Xander check out?"

"Reloads, artillery, the subrealm portal to carry it in.  A few different guns and knives, a sword."

"Wonderful.  Thanks."  He went to take the corporate plane since they were landing this afternoon.  He called Danny.  "One team's landing.  Am I taking them?"  He nodded. "Good deal."  He hung up and got into his car, smiling and patting his baby's steering wheel.  He loved his long weekend drives.  There was almost no traffic to bring him out of communion with his baby.  "We have three hours to make it to the airport, baby.  I know we can."  He started her and backed out of his spot, heading off with a wave to the base's guards at the gate.  He got there in time to see the plane landing and parked, getting out with his bag.  "Fat chance unless you're injured," he announced.  Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "Xander had a just in case feeling.  He's got sixteen warring demon clans, an ascension in three days if they didn't get it stopped, and a demon college, plus a Higher demon in residence."  Dean shuddered.  "Exactly.  So if you're not injured, let's go."

"Slayers?" the one coming off the plane asked.

"So far Faith, Kennedy, and Brenda."

"We can go too," she decided, getting back onto the plane.  Tony loaded himself and the pilot got the directions.  They regassed, filed a new flight plan, and were off.

***

Xander looked up as Dean stormed in.  "Bad flight?"

"Yeah.  Lots of turbulence and no movie.  I hate flying.  What's wrong?"

Xander turned up the news.  "We were there."

Dean moaned at the on site report of a fire at a local motel.  "Charming.  Case or the ascension?"

"Ascension we think."  He looked at him.  "Handle that one with your team?"  Dean nodded. "Artillery's in the bag.  We think he's doing the midsize one.  So about seventy- eighty feet, something like that.  Giant flobber worm with teeth."

"I can do that."  He patted him, seeing the wince.  "Injured?"

"Yuppers.  That's how we know what happened.  I was going back for the map we forgot, my own fault, and got jumped by the guy.  The Lieutenant has him in custody but we'll see if he keeps him."

"The ascending one?"

"No.  His minion."  They shared a look.  Then Xander pulled out the map with a point.  "In the solar eclipse, should be outside, Horatio said the guy we know is doing it often walks here about midday, and it's supposed to happen about one."

"Got it."  He looked at the other marks.  "The other case?"  Xander nodded.  "Need help?"

"Maybe.  We'll see if we haven't stopped the ascension."

"Good enough.  Tony came with us.  He's asleep in the car."

"That happens.  Thanks, Dean."  He gave him a manly, back slapping hug then went to wake the others.  "Guys, limited beds and couches inside."  They headed to handle that however they wanted.  Messer and Flack set up the command center for information while the girls talked about what they already knew.  Dean set out assignments for him since Brenda thoughtfully knocked Xander out with a nerve pinch.

"He needed a nap.  He's fussing and worrying," Brenda told them, getting a few smiles back.  "He can wake up later.  We'll do shifts.  Faith and Kennedy are both out right now.  I'm doing liaison with Lieutenant Caine.  He'd make an excellent watcher if we can talk him into it."  They nodded and called Faith to see where she wanted them.  They took up a rotation around that park and helped with the information gathering.  It let Kennedy and Faith work their own styles and areas.  Kennedy's 'uptight rich girl' persona would get them more information around here.

***

Jack O'Neill initiated the video conference through the SGC intraweb.  "Sheppard, my man.  Danny's going insane."

"How bad?"

"One agent annoyed him so much he threatened to have the president make me retire from here so I could be his assistant and he'll be putting McKay over the agents."

Sheppard shuddered.  "That's bad.  He need a vacation?  We have a lot of language stuff that needs worked on."

"I was hoping you'd say that.  He's been busting his balls on the demon languages."

"Interestingly enough, that covers three of the ones we have up here," McKay said, leaning into view.  "Including a longer work that we're not sure of the purpose of.  The translation database he built won't work on our systems.  Unfortunately I'm too busy to try my own hand at it."

"Need parts?" Jack asked.

"No, new computers," Sheppard said, shaking his head.  "We got new stuff three years ago.  Jackson's using an open office sort of program that won't run on our operating system."

"I'll let him know, see if he can translate it.  I know he had his own and Sam had to make his work with ours so I'll ask her too.  Anything else you could use?"

Sheppard grimaced.  "Some pills for Tiff?"

"Psychological?"

"Female."

"I can do that.  Send me what you need."

"I emailed you yesterday, General."

"Good enough.  When are you coming back for the next conference, McKay?  Sam wanted to know."

"Six months."

"That'll work.  Anything I should know?"

"Not yet," Sheppard said.  "But there's always hope it won't be bad."

"Amen," Jack agreed.  "But hey, no offers of wives this week, right?  And no kidnapings?"  Sheppard grinned and nodded.  "Then you're doing better than SG-1 did in our third year."  He hung up and got into is email to find that list.  Plus to email Sam and Danny about that database issue.  Before he forgot.  Maybe it'd give him something better to do than rant at his agents or worry about whatever was going wrong.  After all, it couldn't be worse than a full scale invasion from aliens, right?

***

Dean had the slayers with him when the eclipse started. They found the guy chanting and the girls rushed to stop him but he wasn't going to.  They got there about the same time as he started to change.

"Dean, the artillery!" Faith called, diving to get Brenda out of harm's way as the guy broke out of his human skin.

Dean opened his chosen piece of artillery and took aim, firing at the thing as it grew.  Nothing happened.  He pulled out a second one, waiting until he was done, then he fired again.  This time, it was giant flobber worm bits.

"Eww!" Kennedy shouted, brushing the nastiness off.  "That is *SO* gross!"

"Sorry," Dean called, putting away the used launching tube.  He heard a cough and looked at the officer, pulling out his ID.  "International Slayers Council, dude."

"What happened and why are you firing artillery in my city?" the cop demanded.

"The bits and pieces were a person who just turned into a giant demon.  The only way to stop it was to remove the head from the body.  We have it on film if you want.  For training purposes and so the later girls will know what they look like."

The officer moaned.  "Why do I get the crap jobs?"

"Don't know.  I give them to my little brother but he's being protected right now."

"Hey, Dean, are we sending this back?" Brenda called.

"Yeah, if we can."  She came jogging over.  "Who're we working with?"

"Lieutenant Caine?"

"Figures," the cop muttered, grabbing his radio off his shoulder.  "Dispatch, this is Delta 49.  I have need of CSI Caine in Broward Park please.  Immediately.  I think he can answer questions about why we have bits and pieces that're moving here."  He hung up and pointed.  "Is it supposed to move?"

Faith came jogging back and got the gun, going to take care of the thing once and for all.  That thing was not eating her!  She liked these jeans, they made her ass look hot.

Dean shook his head once she was done.  "No, it's not supposed to move."  A hummer pulled in, followed by Feds.  He waved at Horatio.  "Ascension handled unless there's another one?" he asked at the pissed off look.

"No jail time?"

"Human turning into a major demon to eat everyone.  No.  This is Slayer business."  He rewound the tape for him and the Feds.  "Here, we do it for training the later girls and later watchers."  He went to look at the mess.  "Let's shovel it into something for Abby, ladies."  They all glared so he smirked.  "I've done it, you can too.  Consider it PT for the day."  They all glared harder.  "It's that or I have to call Xander."  They groaned and Faith went to get the drum he had put into the trunk at Xander's insistence so they could shovel the thing into it.

Horatio came over.  "Why didn't it work the first time?"

"The last step as a human is to eat some poisonous spiders to get a slight version of immortality.  Basically, can't be hurt until the change.  We thought we could get him mid- change but we were wrong," Dean told him.

"I see."  He watched the girls then looked at him.  "Studying it?"

"Yup.  Abby and the docs wanted to test the thing.  We might need another drum."

"Or four," Horatio said dryly.  "I'll get you some.  How much artillery did you bring?"

"Xander brought it, just in case."

"Ah.  I see."  He nodded, going to tell the Feds that.  He came back with the order for more drums to be brought.  "Anything we should worry about in the grass?"

"It's burning it.  I'd continue that, dig it up, maybe holy water it down.  Not real sure."

Faith looked over.  "It takes work to become like this.  We've never been sure if they'll do more than eat normal people.  If it's poisonous?  No idea, Red."

Horatio nodded, looking at Dean since Faith flustered him badly.  "Who would know?"

"Maybe the old guys in England that got blown up," Dean admitted.  "There's three watchers right now and my family doing training."

Horatio grimaced.  "For how many girls?"

"Fifty-eight."

"That's a lot."

"After they age out, we get potentials."

"Even better."

"It used to be one watcher, one girl.  We just can't do that now."

"I can see why."  He went to talk to the Feds again, letting the officers help the girls shovel parts and then the rest of the crime scene.  He heard a report and sighed. "There were two?"

"We only knew about one," Dean admitted.  "How big and where?"

"About ten miles away and it's extremely large.  Larger than this one."

"We can go," Faith agreed.  "Can I fire off the rocket this time?  B got to in a mall.  You got to this time.  X got the one in Seattle last year."  Dean smirked and handed her the portal, letting her pick out her weapon of choice.  Then she let the hummer take her there with a backup, just in case.  She lived on Xander's Paranoia Principle: they were out to get her, they would get her and do nasty things to her if she didn't stop them, everyone looked hot with a weapon, and if you had to kill them, do it as hard as you could so they were in bits and pieces - just in case they had a healing gift.  They found the worm trying to eat people.  She sild out of the hummer, grabbing the case to open it.  "Targeting thingy," she muttered.  Horatio popped it open for her.  "Thanks, Red.  We get instinctive knowledge but not everything, ya know?"  She took aim and then grimaced.  "Put the dog down, you sick fuck!"  It spit the dog out and came at her so she shot it head on.  Of course, it sprayed.  "Eww.  I agree with Kennedy, this is nasty.  I liked these jeans," she complained.

"They wash, unless this is acidic?" Horatio asked, wiping the goo off his suit.  It had sprayed very well.

"Not as far as I know.  I know the spit's deadly.  And it solidifies in wounds."  She looked at the mess, then sighed and called Abby.  "You're gonna be a happy girl.  Two ascensions in Miami.  Handled the Xander way.  Ehh, if you really want to recreate it, go for it, Abby.  They're both in chunks.  Yeah, we'll send it.  Thanks."  She hung up and wiped at the ick on her.  "Eww."

Horatio nodded.  "Definitely."

Faith smirked.  "I've been in places where I needed hip waders and it wasn't enough, Red.  Then again, we earned the right to whine.  It's Miller Time."  Dean and the others pulled up.  "Hey.  Told Abby she'd be very happy."

"Yeah, I'd say."  He looked.  "Any idea who it was?"

"Clothes are back there," she said with a hand wave, handing Dean back the spare case.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Have fun?" he asked with a grin.

"Like X says, everyone looks hot with a weapon."  He laughed at that, patting her on the back.  "Thanks.  I should change."

"You should," he agreed.  "Take a shower too.  It's in your hair."  She grimaced, letting the head of the crime lab take her back to the house.  Dean looked at the girls, then waved a hand.  "Have fun."

"Bastard," Kennedy muttered.  "Sammy wouldn't make us."

Dean called him and put him on his phone's speaker.  "Sammy, the girls seem to think you wouldn't make them dig up the parts of the super worm down here?"  Sammy's laugh made them all groan.  "So I take it I'm right yet again?"

"About this.  We tape it?"

"The first one.  The second dispatch told us so Faith came to blow it up.  She's off taking a shower.  The others get theirs when it's in drums for Abby."

"I'll let her know.  Hold on, two?"

"Two," he agreed.

"Damn, dude.  Well, less stress on Xander."

"Yeah, right."  He hung up and watched the girls work on the demon's parts.  The others in the lab thoughtfully brought more drums for this body too.  It was bigger and in bigger sections.  Dean got them a sword so they could chop it up a bit where the rocket hadn't.  They could label it and all that if they wanted to.  Abby would appreciate that.  She'd squeal like they had gotten her chocolates.

***

Later that night, Abby signed the manifest for the driver of the truck that had picked up her drums.  "Thank you."  She gave him a hug.  "Put them in the building out back please?  It's a cold work lab."  He nodded, driving that way to offload all the drums while she danced down to get the docs from the infirmary.  "We have ascension worm parts."  They both gave her odd looks.  "There were *two* in Miami."

"Damn," House said.  "How big?"  She waved the tape the driver had handed her so they put it in.  Then he whimpered.  "Artillery nice," he decided.

"Now I know how to kill one of those if another one comes up," Chase agreed.  "Though, Xander is right.  Everyone looks hot holding artillery."  House sent a low powered scowl at him, earning a smirk back.

"We had eight people on the list that we know are gathering the things for this rite," Abby said.  "One of these came out of the blue.  So, let's get to reconstructing and all that," she said cheerfully, rubbing her hands together.  They nodded and grabbed sterile working gear and jump suits.  They had wanted to examine these things.

Daniel came down a few hours later looking for his newest dose of allergy pills.  He saw the tv on the bluescreen that meant there was a tape and rewound it to watch it.  What he saw turned his stomach.  "That's disgusting."  He popped it out and went to the lab.  "Hey, can you make me a copy of this?" he asked one of the people up there.  "Abby and them are probably dealing with the ascension's remains out back in the refrigerated building."  One made the copy while the rest went to see what sort of remains they were.  He took the DVD and went back to his office.  He could email Sheppard and Jack both.  Proving that he had the worst job of the three of them.   They might whine but he had slime to deal with daily.

***

Jack saw the email notification and groaned.  He opened it knowing it was paperwork.  Or a correction to something he had already filled out a few times.  Or someone complaining that he had forgotten some obscure piece of paperwork.  Again.  Instead, it was a short video clip.  He ran it, blinking at what he saw.  "Excuse me?"  He reran it, frowning at it.  "What the hell?"  He read the message:  see what I do all day.  Then he laughed.  "Thanks, Danny boy.  I needed that."  He saw it had already went to Sheppard and left it there.  He'd show others later to see if they had seen another one.

***

On Atlantis, Sheppard saw the email notification the next morning when their systems downloaded new emails.  "Huh."  He got into it and ran it, turning a bit green.  The message made him smile.  Yup, Jackson was going nuts.  Again.  He paged the science team.  "I got a short film of the end stage of an ascension from the head of DCIS."  McKay nearly shoved him out of the way to see when he stormed in.  "I'm sure Abby has some of the remains if we wanted a better look."

McKay turned green.  "That's disgusting."

"Isn't it though?  And look how large it was in relation to the slayers.  Faith's about your height if I remember right, McKay."  He shuddered, walking off, letting the others see.  "Email Abby if you want some of it."

"I shall.  The saliva poison might be quite useful."

"Now we know if we see something like this on a planet around here," Radek said, walking off shaking his head.  "Those poor girls probably needed a long soak."

"Probably," McKay agreed.  "Most of them are a bit vain."  That got a smirk.  Girls could get messy and whine.  Men were more used to it and expected it.

Sheppard filed it for training later on and went to get something to nibble on.  For some reason he felt giddy and had the nibbles.  He didn't know why.

***

Xander was stopped by Brenda when he grabbed the artillery bag.  "Come on.  It'll stop it."

"Then you'll get fired and only have one job.  What would you do then?" she asked.  She took the artillery bag from his hand.  "I know you want to go to the meeting place, walk in with a good piece of artillery out, and make them stop it, Xander.  But you can't.  We'd lose you.  Danny would never forgive you for it."  He nodded, sighing a bit.  "That's my Xander."  She gave him a hug.  "They're obviously stupid if they're not scared of you."

"I only want the power player," he whined.

"I know.  We do too."  She walked him back to the couch, letting Messer take the artillery bag in case Xander got away from her again.  He would hand it to Dean.  "Here, let's sit and think logically."

"I'm trying."

"I know.  You're all being very brilliant about stopping this.  We've shipped back about seven clans of demons so far."  He nodded at that.  "Just remember, you have to do what Danny Jackson would do, not what his Jack toy would do."  Xander smiled at that.  "Take a nap, Xander.  You need a nap."  She cuddled him until he finally drifted off.

Flack smiled.  "You're good."

"I wanted to walk in and go 'who wants a piece of this' with some artillery too," she admitted.  "If I can't, he can't."

They all smiled and let Xander sleep for now.  This case was driving them all nuts.

***

Xander looked at the demon that appeared on the dream realm with him.  "Huh."  He turned it into a...something.  Part hedgehog, part squirrel, part something else small and furry.  Then he shrugged and walked off.  He ran into Sammy.  "Think we can kill it up here?" he asked with a point.

Sammy looked.  "What were you going for?"

"Small, furry, and harmless."

"It certainly is.  The goldfish mouth was a nice touch since it won't have teeth."  Dawn appeared.  "Hey."

"Hi."  She looked at the thing, then at him.  "I need to read it better."

"Can you do that without being possessed?" Sam asked.

"I'm pretty sure I can.  I've been doing some dream research."  She walked over to it, keeping it from moving by adding a leash and a peg to tie it to.  Then she sat next to it and read its mind.  She frowned at it.  "Not nice of you."  It shimmered.  "Sam, if you think you can, you can kill it here."  She looked at him.  "You have to believe that it works."

Sam considered it then 'called' the special Colt to his hand.  It was made and blessed by Samuel Colt to kill demons.  "Anything else you need from it?"

"What's a devil's gate?  He saw the gun and said it was a key."

"A devil's gate is like a hellmouth only it goes to a place of imprisonment for demons.  Usually higher demons.  More like what we were hunting and him than the ones the slayers usually get."  She nodded at that.  "Why?  A key?"  He looked at it.

"It's the key to open the devil's gate.  It's in the middle of something."  She closed her eyes.  "There's a devil's trap around it.  A huge one made of railroad tracks?  The demons are massing there."  She hopped up.  "It'll take one of the special children to open it.  The demons can't get in, only a chosen of a demon."

"That's why he wants me then," he decided.

She put a hand on his arm.  "Sam, this is a job for a slayer."

"Definitely," Xander agreed.  "Shoot it."  He concentrated and a blonde wearing fuzzy slippers and short pajamas faded in.  "Hi."

She looked around.  "This is not the spa I was dreaming about.  There's no semi-naked hot men offering me warm, gooey chocolate and offering to stroke, tease, or massage me.  Why?"

"Sorry, but that demon," he said with a point, "is doing very bad things."

"He's been overloading the system so we wouldn't pay attention to him stealing those special children or the devil's gate they're massing around," Dawn told her.  Xander moaned, hitting himself on the forehead.  "You didn't know, Xander."

"All the ascensions?"

"Long term plans of his, but not all of them."  She looked at her sister.  "Remember the special kids thing we had going?"  She nodded.  "This is the dream he calls us to.  Xander figured out he could change him and I read his mind.  It's something I decided I could do. Dream realm talents are fascinating to read up on."

Buffy held up a hand.  "Less geek tutoring.  I doubt I'm going to remember all this."

"Okay, bare bones," Dawn said.  "There's a town where he's holding people Sam's age to make them kill each other so only one's left.  The one that's left is going to take that colt in Sammy's hand."  He held it up so she could see it.  "And use it to open a devil's gate.  Demons are massing around it.  Some sort of prophecy about it can open now."

"What's a devil's gate?"

"Like a hellmouth only it goes to an imprisoned demon place," Dawn said.  "It could be over thousands of demons coming out if they open it.  Think the invasion only that sort of demon instead of the ones we and DCIS usually see."

"Mostly higher demons, over one area.  Things like the demon over lust, which would be higher than all the succuba and incuba," Sam added.

"Like the Pandora's Box thingy?" Buffy asked.

Dawn nodded.  "Yeah, just like that."

"Where's he massing the special children?" Buffy asked, frowning.

"All I get is a bell."  She shared it with her and Sam.

"It's got to be to the south," Xander said.  "If that helps."  He fell down as a vision hit him, grabbing his forehead.  "I hate those things," he growled.  He panted, looking at Sam.  "If you go, you'll be killed.  It's a 'there can be only one' thing.   If you do die, Dean's selling himself to a demon to get you back and he'll only have a year."  Sam helped him up.

"Then the best thing would be for me to go, right?" Buffy asked.  Xander nodded.  "Any idea where?"

"Cold Oak, South Dakota," Sam said.  "I recognized the bell."

"Which is south of us," Dawn quipped.  "We had been thinking in the South.  Like Alabama or Louisiana."

"Okay, so the devil's gate is there?" Buffy asked.

"No, it's in Southern Wyoming," Sam told her.  "There's a hundred mile devil's trap around it built from railroad tracks."  She nodded at that.  "We need to stop him with the kids and stop him there."

"We're down to the untrained but we can ask John to go with you if you can't get Giles," Dawn told her.  "He would."

"Nah, I've got it covered," she promised with a  smile.  "It's what a slayer is for."  She beamed at Xander.  "How's Miami?"

"Fucked," he said bluntly.  "But we've gotten it down to eight clans creating problems.  I think the Higher demon locally is going to step in soon and kick ass.  Sam, can you shoot that thing?  Please?  Before I get another of your visions off you?"  Sam turned and shot the demon.  "If it didn't kill it, it'll be in Cold Oak, Buffy."

"Sure.  Any other way of killing it?"

"It's a higher minion of hell," Sam said.  "If I can get Dad to meet you there he can have the Colt."

"No, keep it.  If that's the thing that opens the devil's gate, I want it safely somewhere it can't be gotten to by any demons."

"LA ATF has a demon-proof gun vault," Xander told him.  "I think ours is, but I can't be sure this one can't since he can steal people long distance."

Sam nodded.  "We'll do whatever we have to, Buffy.  Let us know?"

She snorted and waved a hand.  "I won't need it.  We're all good."  She gave Dawn a hug.  "Thanks for the head's up, little sis.  You be good.  That basketball hotty sounds nice."  She disappeared.  "Giles!" she shouted as she woke up.  "Got a dream call from Dawn, Sam, and Xander about the demon causing issues!"  She got up and went to find him.  "There's a devil's gate in South Wyoming that's going to be opened.  Demons are massing there.  The demon that's trying to get Sam and Annabelle is in Cold Oak, South Dakota."

"We heard in the south," he said, considering it.

"Which that would be.  He's behind all this build up according to Dawn."  He gave her an odd look.  "They're apparently having one of their demon inspired shared dreams and one of them pulled me to tell me."  He nodded.  "So we have to get to Cold Oak or we have to get to southern Wyoming.  We're talking the higher demons, like they're used to dealing with, not the funny looking ones we usually get.  Masses of them."

"Where in Wyoming?"

"Sam said there's a devil's gate surrounded by a hundred mile devil's trap done in railroad tracks."

"We should be able to find that through someone at DCIS then."  He picked up his phone.  "Shower and change; we'll fly out by noon."  She nodded, going to do that.  "Wake Caridad as well, Buffy."  He smiled at the grumpy voice.  "Wesley, sorry to bother you.  I need to know where the devil's gate in southern Wyoming is.  Yes, immediately.  The demon behind the special children issues is the one hyping all the problems you lot have been having and they're massing near it.  We're on our way to Cold Oak, South Dakota before then to deal with that demon then to the devil's gate.  That would be acceptable," he agreed when Wesley mentioned John.  "Thank you, Wesley.  Heading out at first light I expect.  Of course she'll have her phone.  I'm bringing Caridad with me.  That's reasonable, I'll leave her in charge then.  I'll see you then."  He hung up and went to shower and change himself.  Plus pack.  He'd need some materials and some books.  He knew how to banish the higher demons, he had taught Xander.

***

Dawn woke up and yawned, heading down to John's room, pounding on the door a few times before walking in.  "The demon that got your wife is behind the build up.  He's trying to open the devil's gate in Wyoming?"

John blinked at her.  "Slower, Dawn."  She sat on the foot of his bed and told him everything.  "Get me Sammy?"

"Sammy's staying here.  Xander had a vision.  He'll die and Dean'll sell his soul to get him back.  Also, the colt is the key to the lock."

"So it's staying.  We need to know how to kill the thing."

She smirked and dug out something.  "You haven't looked over the research reports for demonology.  I slipped mine into theirs."  She handed it over.  "I'll fax it to Cleveland too."  Wesley walked in and took it to read over, nodding and taking it to do that.  "Okay."  She looked at John.  "Buffy's going with Giles."

"Do you know where it is?" Wesley called.

"Basically."  He slid out of bed and grabbed his robe.  "Let me shower and pack, Dawn.  Good job."  He patted her on the head and headed for the showers.  Wesley would send that and give him what he needed to have with him.  They usually worked well together.

Dawn yawned again and went to raid the kitchen.  She was uptight and needed ice cream. She found Sam in there and stole his bowl.  "Thank you."

"I was making it for you anyway.  My nerves are shot."

John walked in a few minutes later to get travel rations.  "You're staying?" he asked his son.

"I wouldn't care about dying if I had to, sir, but I don't want Dean to sell his soul to save me."

John nodded.  "Good.  I hate having to knock you out.  The girls would fuss over both of us.  Get that gun somewhere safe."

"Xander said the LA ATF has a demon-proof gun vault," Sam said quietly.  "It can kill the demon."

"I found out how to eat the demon," Dawn told him.  Sam beamed at her for that.  "So that and a good banishing should work."  She looked at John.  "Giles can do that.  He taught Xander and Xander taught us."

"Good enough."  He patted her on the head.  "Have some ice cream too, Sammy."  He gave him a short hug then left.  His truck was easily warmed up and more ammo gotten from the armory.  Benny Ray stopped him and held up a box.  "What's that?"

"Holy silver.  An artifact got damaged and Xander bought it to melt it down.  It was a relic from a saint.  They had all the paperwork on it and he verified it had been consecrated and blessed."  John shivered, that was nearly sacrilege.  "He said he saw it in a vision.  He had a priest okay it and bless it again.  It's as close to your colt as you're getting," he finished quietly.  "There's twenty-one bullets."

John smiled.  "I love that boy like an extra, strange son."

"Was there a comma in there?" he teased.

"Usually."  Benny Ray laughed.  "Thanks.  I hope it'll be enough."

"Should be.  Go with luck, John.  You'll probably need it."

"The same demon was behind all the build up."

"They can tell Jackson."  That got a nod and he left.  Benny Ray went to check on the kids, finding them both having ice cream.  "Don't forget to tell the boss, guys."

"Going to," Dawn promised.  "Let me finish up.  My blood sugar's low and there's nothing he can really do about it."  They nodded and Benny Ray went back to his rooms.  She looked at Sam.  "We've got to figure out why you guys pull me."

"The spell where you went to yell at the Powers.  We linked so I could guard you."  She moaned.  "Not a bad thing," he promised with a smile.  "Just something we need to watch out for."

"Sure, we can do that."  She finished up and put her bowl into the dishwasher then went to wake up their boss.  "Hey.  Good news but an FYI about all the activity."

"What now?" he moaned, leaning against his door.

"All the activity we've had recently has been a cover by the demon that wanted Sammy and Annabelle."  He slumped.  "We've got Buffy headed to handle it.  He wants to open a devil's gate."

"Which is?"

"Like a hellmouth to a place demons are squished together and imprisoned," she said.  He squeezed his eyes shut.  "But we've got Buffy and John headed that way.  We know where he's taking all the kids and with him out of the way, there won't be any more buildup to cover up what he was doing."

"That's good.  What about Miami?"

"It may slow it down.  He's behind that."

He nodded.  "I want a full report by breakfast, Dawn."

"Yes, sir."  She saluted and he smiled at that.  "Go back to bed, it's just a head's up."  She walked off, going to do her report.  She IM'd Sam since she knew he'd be doing research for his father and Buffy too.  He sent back he'd do one and it was all good.  They'd have it solved soon enough.

***

Xander woke up with a gasp, panting and rubbing his forehead.  Everyone stared at him.  "That stupid demon is behind this.  He's using it to cover up what's going on."  He swung his feet around, looking at the ones staring, then at Dean.  "He wants Sammy.  He has to have a chosen human to take the special Colt and open the devil's gate.  By tainting him then making him play his sick little Highlander game, he'll get a chosen one out of it."  He called someone.  "Benny Ray, hand John that special box.  He's heading out and he'll need it.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at him.  "I made one that might be as strong as the colt's bullets.  The gun may be mundane but it's made from a broken relic."  Dean shivered but nodded at that.  "The crappy thing that wants Sam is holding other special children hostage in Cold Oak, South Dakota."

"That's a haunted town.  Legend has it, it's so haunted everyone in town had to flee," Dean said quietly, considering it.  "Who's going?"

"Buffy.  And your dad."  Dean nodded that was a good, strong team.  "He's going to weed it down to one chosen kid and they're going to open the devil's gate in Wyoming.  There's a massing of demons there.  All this, all the sudden influx of ascensions that aren't related to the millennium, all that, is him covering his tracks."

Dean grimaced.  "Then it's screwed.  Dad won't put up with it."

"No, he won't.  I had Benny Ray hand him the bullets.  So we may see this drop down. We're not sure yet.  Giles is probably going with her.  He can do a banishing or anything magical that might need to happen."

Dean relaxed, smiling some.  "Then the thing's screwed."

Xander nodded.  "With luck, that'll slow down this problem and all the others.  Then we'll have mopping up to do."  The rest smiled.  "By the way, Dawn's been doing dream research about what powers you have in certain types of dreams.  Came in really handy.  Sam pulled the colt and shot it.  It might be injured or possibly dead already."

Dean beamed.  "Even better news.  Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome.  Can I have something for my headache?"  Faith got him something and a soda.  "Thanks.  New info?"

"Yeah.  Some.  Can I tell the Higher one that?"

"Depends, will he go to try to help open the devil's gate?"

"Don't know," Faith admitted.

"You can see if he wants to hear what's behind it.  That'll save us being more injured when we have to raid tomorrow," Don Flack decided.  She nodded, taking Brenda with her.  The Higher one liked Brenda, called her plucky and smart to work on her weaknesses.

Xander finished his soda.  "Let me finish my nap and I'll plan the raid."

"I can," Horatio said from his corner seat going over the new information.  "I have in the past, Xander.  I can do that."

"Sure.  Have at it then."  He laid down and closed his eyes, letting Dean toss a blanket overtop of him.  "You know, this might be the first time I come home from a team case without even a scratch."

Danny Messer patted him on the foot.  "Don't jinx us."  Xander grinned and they got back to work.

Horatio looked at Dean.  "What's a devil's gate?" he asked quietly.

"Just what it sounds like.  It opens to a place where demons are imprisoned.  A part of hell basically."   Horatio shuddered.  "If they're massing that way, let me call others."  He went to call Bobby.  "It's me.  There's demons massing in southern Wyoming.  You've got Buffy and Dad heading that way.  Yeah, it is Dean, Bobby.  Because the demon who came after Mom and Jess is trying to open a devil's gate there."  He nodded.  "Exactly.  Send or go help, man.  I'm in Miami with our war down here.  Thanks.  Dad's heading.  Buffy's got to fly from Cleveland."

"She might be hitting Cold Oak first to free those kids and to try the demon there," Xander admitted, looking back at him.

"The kids the demon's been taking are in Cold Oak, Bobby.  He's doing a 'there can be only one' thing according to what Dawn, Sammy, and Xander found out during their last shared dream thing.  Sure, call Dad.  He's on the road by now if I know him.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "We've got hunters up that way.  They can help her, Xander.  Don't worry about Buffy."  He pulled him over.  "What?"

"If Sam had went, he'd be dead and you'd be making a dark deal," he said quietly, staring at him.  "A year to get him back."

Dean nodded stiffly.  "I probably would."

"I saw it, Dean.  In the dream."

"Full on vision?"  Xander nodded.  "Damn it.  Okay, well, Sammy's staying at the base."

"I doubt your dad would let him go.  Dawn knew and she'd tell him."

"Good."  He smiled.  "You protect my baby brother very well, Xander."  He patted him on the head.  "Sleep.  You need rest.  You're wound up and exhausted."  He went to get himself some coffee but one of the younger slayers put him over her shoulder.  "Hey!"  The others laughed but she carried him to bed and put him down beside it, then gave him a shove onto it.  "Fine.  Wench."

"Yes I am," she taunted back.  "Maybe I can be like the wenches Xander had fun with," she quipped then went to help the agents.  They knew what the demons could do in more detail than they did.  Faith came back.  "Good news?" she asked at her smile.  Brenda walked in a moment later.

"Leave off the raid for two hours.  It might not be a problem.  He was *highly* insulted this jumped up little pussbag, his words, was calling higher things to this plane to enslave us all.  Including him.  He'd be like a sergeant in their troops but that's not high enough and he's *livid*," Brenda told them all.  "He said to leave the raid off for a few hours.  It might not be as necessary as we think.  He has to talk to the demons over the college."

"Way to go, girls," Don Flack praised, smiling at them.  "Xander made special bullets for John so they've got it going.  Buffy's going with them."

"Decent," Faith agreed.  "It'll be a slay fest.  Wonder if I can hit Wyoming."

"No," Xander said.  Brenda nerve pinched him.

Horatio smiled.  Brenda was very fierce in her mothering of the younger girls and Xander.   "Will she need more backup?"

"B?"  She snorted.  "Nah.  She's nearly mythical.  None of us are like B.  She's an undead yo-yo and all that.  The demons are scared of what she'll bring back next time she has to come back to life.  After all, the last time started off the First Evil stuff."  Brenda shuddered.  "I know.  She'd see it that way."

"Of course she would.  She's Buffy."

Horatio shook his head.  "Someone needs to help her."

"Tweedy will.  That's his job," Faith said.  "He might be one of the last watchers, but he's still hers."

Brenda smiled.  "Xander did suggest Giles talk to you about becoming one."  She skipped off.  "Faith, I'm making cocoa.  Want some?"

"Sure, please."  She looked around. "Bring a big pot of water."  She nodded, doing that.  She beamed at the agents.  "I love her.  She's a great girl.  She'll make a great trainer for the potentials."  She winked and went to make her own cup of cocoa.  The others came to get theirs and it was nice.  A bit happier even if they were still in the middle of a problem.

By the morning time, the Higher had talked to the higher demons over the demon college.  The mess was not pretty.  It was really horrible.  Not even the scavenger demons wanted to touch them.  But it was stopped.  No more humans had gotten hurt and the three buildings that burned had only had demons in them.  No one tried to make them slaves of the top minions in hell!

***

Buffy woke up after that strange girl had touched her, shaking her head.  "Wow, not as bad as last time," she decided.  The demon and Ava stared at her in horror.  She smirked.  "Hi, maybe I didn't introduce myself properly.  I'm Buffy.  The Slayer Buffy."  The demon backed off in fear.  "You're so toast.  You made Xander work a lot of long, hard hours.  You gave him and my baby sister headaches."

"Who're you to try him?" Ava, one of the special children, sneered.

"I'm the most senior slayer, sweetie.  I've defeated Gods.  You're really pathetic and you dress miserably."  She lunged at the demon but John shot it from the other end of town. "Hey!"

"Thanks for the distraction, Buffy," John said, pointing the gun at Ava, who whimpered and got to her knees.  He tossed over cuffs.  "For her."  She shrugged but did that.  "Find any other survivors."

"Going."  She walked off to do that.

Giles followed John to the demon.  "Banishment?"

"They could bring him back.  What about that thing Dawn found?"  He showed it to him.  "If it's dead, it's eaten and dissolved.  If not, it's back in hell anyway."

Giles read over the spell then nodded.  "She's getting into some dangerous books."

"Sometimes you have to so you can find the things you need to handle the worst issues."

Giles cast the spell on the demon, watching as it dissolved.  He looked at the gun.  "What are you using?"

"Something Xander made.  It's a former relic that was melted down and reblessed as well."  Giles shuddered.  "It worked.  Nearly as well as the special Colt's bullets."

"Yes, apparently it did."  Buffy came out with one sobbing boy.  "He all right?"

"Crying in fear."  She put him in front of John.  "That's Dean and Sammy's dad.  Talk to him."

He looked at him.  "You know Sammy?"

"I'm his father.  I used to change his diapers, kid."

"It wants him," he said, standing up to stare at him.  "It wants him really badly."

"It's dead."  Ava wailed.  "And dissolved."

The boy went limp, smiling at him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  Let's go fight the demons at the devil's gate.  Buffy, can you get Dawn or someone to pick her up?"

"Sure.  Dawn!" she bellowed, looking up.  A portal opened.  "She was working with the demon to kill all the special kids like Sam."

"Charming."  She hauled her over.  "I'll have her arrested here.  Have fun and be safe?  No more dying?"  She gave her sister a look.

"I try not to.  Only lasted three minutes this time."

"Uh-huh."  She closed the portal.

John laughed.  "She's going to fuss you to death."

"She's in North Dakota."  Giles coughed but smiled at that.  "Okay, let's get you into the car, kid.  You can come with us.  John, how do we get there?"

"I've given Giles the directions, Buffy.  Not like you drive."  He walked off, checking his gun over.  The special bullets hadn't hurt it any.  Time to finish this.

Buffy looked at Giles.  "He's picking up bad Xander habits."

"I don't let you drive either, Buffy.  You're a terror to more than demons behind the wheel."  He walked the young man out, asking him why he was chosen and what was so special about the 'special children'.  It was something they'd have to chronicle too.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Recruitment

Danny Jackson met the plane as it landed, smiling at his group as they got off.  "Thank you all for helping with that."  He clapped Xander on the back.  "Good work."

"It was a team thing, Danny."  He smiled at Faith, who shrugged. "She did some amazing scouting."

"Then maybe we'll see about offering her a job when she ages out."

She shuddered.  "No.  No more paperwork.  Please?" she begged, trying for cute.

"After your reports today," he assured her.  Flack handed over the thumbnail drive.  "Did it already?"

"All of them," he quipped with a grin.  Tony walked off and stretched, getting his bag from the luggage coming off and heading for his car.  "Hey, Tony, can one of us catch a ride with you?"

"Nope.  My baby and I need to commune."

Faith looked at him.  "Does that mean you and the car are special friends?" she taunted.

"Very.  She helps me pick up *good* girls."  Faith cackled at that.  "See you guys back on base."  He waved as he slid into his front seat and started his baby up.

Xander looked at the others.  "I'm sure there's transport somewhere."

"Coming," Danny promised.  He looked at him.  "By the way, everyone's out playing with the huge demon worms."

"I'm sure they're having fun," Xander said dryly.  "The thing in Wyoming?"

"Buffy got there last night and got a lot of the demons.  John reported the other hunters were in awe but they helped when they found out who she was.  They consider slayers mythical, like unicorns."

"We've seen a few of those," Xander told him.  Danny shook his head quickly.  "Sheppard has too I think.  He said something about them not crapping rainbows like Dean thinks they do."

"Don't make me knock you out for having bad thoughts," Dean complained to him.

Danny laughed.  "So everything's back to normal?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Because I'm going on a week's vacation tomorrow.  I already put a note in Tony's car.  Xander, no taking over if he's slow to respond.  Give him time to wake up."

"Yes, Danny.  I'll try."

"Good."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Good work, everyone.  I can hear the troop carrier so let's head back to base."  They piled on when the covered truck got there, and he got into his own car to head back.  He was so happy!  He hadn't had a vacation in over a year and he was going to go somewhere quiet, without demons, and relax.  No Xander.  No horny slayers.  No agents.  Just relaxing.  Or else he'd kill a lot of people for interrupting him.

House met the troop carrier at the front gate.  "How many injured?" he demanded.

"No one, doc," Xander said with a grin.  "The Higher demon down there made sure of it when he trashed the others."

"Good.  Excellent.  Go sign back in and head to do whatever."  He watched the truck pull over toward the apartments, smirking at Danny pulling in as well.  "You, go pack."

"Going, Doctor House.  No more demon parts?"

"Many demon parts and she shipped one to McKay.  He wanted some of it and some saliva as well.  Shoo, go."  He left, going to do that.  House considered it.  "When did I become the mother?" he asked himself as he limped back to his infirmary.  This was a trend that had to stop.  He'd have to leer at the underage girls or something so he didn't feel motherly.  Chase could nag; he'd be amused at it instead.  He walked in.  "They're fine."

"Good!  No repeats of the last one."  He scowled at the slayer walking in.  "Pain?"

"Pills.  I ran out and I forgot to get them last night."

House looked her up.  "Congratulations, you get to have your annual exam too."

She blushed.  "Can Doctor Chase do it?"

Chase blushed.  "Not my field, sorry."  He fled for somewhere safer.

"He hasn't realized yet that after fifty or so, they all look the same.  Some shade of brown on the outside and pink on the inside."   She blushed brighter.  He pointed at the exam cubicle.  "In there.  I'm sure you remember the drill."  He went to scrub up and put on gloves and a face shield, just in case.  A few of those girls were picking up nasty habits.  This one apparently shaved for some reason.  She could talk to Faith or Abby about that if she hadn't already.  It was quickly done and he checked her pills, handing them over.  "Take it now."  She took it as she walked out.  He shook his head as he got to work processing the scrapings for infections, issues, and diseases.  Maybe if he let Chase do them the girls would volunteer and do theirs early instead of the last day of their pill pack or the day after they had missed starting a new one.

***

Xander met John when he came in.  "How'd it go?"

"It went fine, Xander.  They're not as strong as the other ones are, but they do work wonderfully."  He squeezed his shoulder.  "Good job."

"Thanks."  He smiled.  "Both boys are in their place.  Brenda's going over what happened to teach the younger girls later tonight.  Sammy even bought food so he could cook dinner."

"Even better."  He went to drop his stuff and get a hug from Brenda, who grinned at him.  "Good job.  I'll listen in later."  She nodded and bounced off to talk to the other girls.  "Buffy and them headed home already."

"That's fine.  She's been through an ascension."

He shuddered, going to see his boys.  Dean had copied the tape before sending it back so Sammy was watching it.  He sat down beside him, letting Dean rewind it for him.  He watched then he shuddered.  "That's gross."

"Very," Dean agreed.  "They spray nasty crap too.  Faith and the lieutenant both got it at the second site."  He looked at his dad.  "It good?"

"It's excellent.  The hunters backed up Buffy very well.  Giles made sure he could seal the devil's gate like they did the hellmouth so it's staying shut for now.  Then we'll see."  Dean and Sam both grinned.  "Buffy did a lot of complaining about her t-shirt being messy by the end, but she got over it.  Bobby called her charming and cute, but a bit uptight."

"She is," Sam agreed.

"Did this solve the sharing dreams thing?" John asked.

"No clue.  Though Xander seems to think he was getting my visions for me thanks to it."

"Why are you guys linked?" John asked.

"The spell where they went to yell at the Powers," Sam said.  Dean moaned, rubbing his forehead.  "Which was why Dean only got a little bit and I got more of it."

"That's good to know.  Can we break it?"

"I'm looking up how," Sam promised.  "So, dinner?"

"Dinner's good," John agreed.  "Whatever's fine, Sammy."

"Sure."  He went to deal with dinner while Dean and John went over what had happened at the devil's gate and what had happened in Miami.  This way their group got all the same information the slayers and DCIS got.  They'd probably need it some year and having a hunter around the gate would be for the best in case they started to mass again.

***

Tony looked at the agents who looked very tired the next morning, then at Xander, who shrugged.  "Did we all have bad dreams, guys?"

"Caterwauling from the girls' dorm," Messer told him.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "They were."

Xander went to find one, finding Wes first.  "The girls kept up the singles' dorm?"

Wesley blushed.  "Um, well, they were a bit celebratory last night."

"I don't care if they got down and funky, Wes.  You know that.  As long as it wasn't the younger kids and they were careful."

"They were.  It was mostly stress relief after all that's gone on recently.  Though Dawn did end up shrieking at a few of them to shut up because they were keeping *her* up."

"Heard that," Flack admitted as he walked out with his morning coffee.  "They had the windows open."

"I'm certain it won't be happening again," Wesley promised.  He pointed at where most of the girls were doing pushups.  "John got a bit upset when he heard."

Flack smiled.  "It's a natural to relieve the stress.  We do it too."  He patted him on the arm.  "John, how many more do they have?"

"About five thousand," he said grimly.

"It was stress relief," Xander told him.

"Yes but they didn't have to be *that* loud doing it."

"As long as they're able to do their homework and laundry," Xander reminded him, smiling at the dirty look he got.  "Unless you want to wash their bras and panties for the upcoming school week?"

"Hell no!"  He looked at the tired looking girls.  "Dismissed to do your chores.  Now."  They fled to do that.  Annabelle stopped to give him a hug.  "You weren't one of the loud ones.  You didn't have to do the pushups or give me a hug."

"You needed it."  She skipped over to give one to Wes and Xander then Don Flack before heading inside to clean her room and start on the laundry.  She had a good touch with it so the older girls paid her to do theirs too.

John walked over.  "They're very sorry they got that loud."

"Any of the younger ones?" Xander asked.

"No one under sixteen.  They kicked one of the fifteen-year-olds out when she tried to join," he admitted.  He glanced at the dorm then at him.  "We should talk."

Xander grinned  "I've seen them.  They're cute."  John relaxed.  "I need them to make sure they have the right information."

"They should.  Are we supporting it?"

"I don't care who it is as long as it's not another one's girl or boyfriend," Xander said honestly.  "We will not turn into the Springer Slayer Squad.  That's Buffy's."  Wesley laughed at that.  "Kennedy's there with her Willow snuggly."  He looked at John again.  "It's all good from my end.  Giles I can't speak for but he never had a problem with Willow and Tara."

"Good.  Thanks, Xander.  You too, Wes."  He smiled at Don.  "Kept up?"

"Woken up actually.  Danny got kept up and came down to see if I was too."  He grinned as he walked back inside, going to get more coffee for him and Messer.  "Here, you look like crap."

Xander looked at his watchers.  "So, anything from Giles?"

"He's making concrete plans but he's worried about the funds," Wesley said.  "I'm making sure he has what he needs to build on out there.  Some year we'll need somewhere for the slayers to be local to that hellmouth.  Plus a new head building."

Xander nodded.  "I can see that happening about when we change directors.  Unless our next one is nice."

Wesley smiled.  "Good.  What were you planning out that way?"

"I figured you had some."

"Well, yes, but not total plans.  Just the barest of bare bones."

"I started making a list of what sort of areas we'd need.  Like we'll need an information and command center for deployment issues.  Even when we're back down to one.  If we get back down to one.  Dawn said Willow and Giles are working on how to uncall the girls and we all know Willow has accidents."

"Indeed," Wesley sighed.  "That's fine then.  If I can have the list?"

"It's in the Cleveland folder in my desk, which you stole."

"That's what that was then.  That's good, Xander.  Thank you."  He headed off with a smile and a pat on the shoulder for John.  "Do have fun with the girls."  He walked off to go over those ideas with Giles.

Xander looked at him.  "I know you're uncomfortable talking to the girls about girl things.  Want me to handle that talk?"

"Please."

"Send them my way after I'm done tonight."  He nodded, going to supervise and make some of the girls do their own laundry instead of paying Annabelle since she had some homework she had to get done.  Xander went back to his desk.  "John showed the girls it was bad manners to have that loud of stress relief.  They won't do it again."

"Thanks," Messer called.  Ryan nodded from his desk.  "Any new cases come in?"

"Not yet," Tony said from his.  "Let me check Danny's office."  He went to do that, coming out to hand something to Ryan.  "They didn't like your report.  The prosecutor hates the sea monster explanation."

"I put mine into scientific terms," Tim offered, handing over his report.  Ryan read it over and added a section once Tim had sighed and pulled it up.  "Good, on the negotiations."   They signed it and so did the rest of their team.  It got faxed back.  If she didn't like it, she could make up her own excuses.  "Any fallout from the war in Miami?"

"One church got a bit singed and the prison's a bit fuller," Xander admitted, looking over at him.  "The rest they kept to demons mostly.  The Higher living down there beat them bloody and into parts for doing this on the Yellow-Eyed-Demon's say so."  Ryan gave him a  confused look.  "The one who wanted Sam.  With the special children and all that?"  They both nodded.  "That was to cover up his plans to open a devil's gate."  They shuddered.  "That got stopped and Buffy freed the people she found in the town once the demon was dead.  John went with Buffy and the others.  I'm hoping I have the report on that."

"I do," Tony said.  He waved it.  Xander grinned.  "I'm putting together the Miami report.  Then we'll copy it for your records too."  The others handed over theirs once they had fixed the corrections Danny wanted made.  "As for the rest, the two ascensions got stopped.  One was prompted by the demon, one wasn't.  Horatio and Faith got sprayed by the second one when they blew it up."

"Bet H hated that it ruined his suit," Ryan teased.

Speed nodded, leaning back.  "I'm sure he and the dry cleaner had a lot of discussion before he handed over that version of his suit of immortality."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "He thinks it is.  That's why he stands in front of snipers to draw them to him so SWAT can arrest them."

Ryan cleared his throat.  "He and his hummer of knighthood drove into a building that was due to blow in under three minutes to get the person tied up in there, then he drove them out as the building was blowing behind him," he told Speed.

"Sounds like H," he agreed.  "Eric yell?"

"Calleigh went over that night and ranted for over an hour according to her.  Dispatch called Patrol to tell her to yell more quietly."  Speed smirked at that.  "Then Eric yelled."

"Sometimes H is his own worst enemy.  Any other good news?"

"The girls down there with us thought he'd make a great Watcher," Xander told him.  Ryan choked at that.  "He has tactical thinking, he knows self defense and weapons, he knows how to handle bad situations, he can tell the cops what went on in a language they can understand.  He listens to them when they talk about something they know and ignores the clothing talks, but not the boyfriend ones in case it's important.   He understood how important their job is, even though it's a messy and nasty business to get sucked into, and that the girls would need help once they aged out to return to normal after living in combat."  He looked at them.  "They suggested we try to recruit on the way back.  Faith especially.  They also think he could out-stubborn Giles and spank Willow if she went on her old trip again."

"I can agree with that but H carries a lot of weight on his soul," Tim told him.  "The ones he couldn't save will weigh on him."

"They do all cops," Xander said gently.  "I've seen it on all of your souls."  Tim nodded that was true.  "Plus, hey, Benny Ray and the Major both want to retire at the end of this year so he's making a list to take over his spot.  He wants Calleigh.  He wouldn't be losing the lab if we could get Eric on a field team too."

Speed snickered.  "The girls could use more female influences.  There's not enough on base."

"I doubt she'd leave the lab," Ryan told him.

"Maybe but she'd still get to play with guns."

"Not the same," Ryan assured him.  "We can ask."  Speed nodded.  "Both of them."

"You ask him, Wolfe.  I'm not asking H to leave the job that he's called to like a priest is to help the girls."

"He might see it as stopping more of the bad things from happening before it makes more victims," Tony said.  "Gibbs has the same qualifications and a few of the girls liked him."

Xander nodded.  "A few did.  Especially a few of the younger ones."  He grinned at him.  "Ask Wes what we're offering new watchers for salary and things."  He went back to work.  He finally finished correcting his report and handed it to Tony.  "My part."

Tony read it over, nodding but taking out one part.  "They don't need to know you wanted to go Rambo on the community," he told him.  He proofread the rest then printed them together and put the folder together to be signed off on later.  After he did that he'd send Horatio a copy.  They always sent the local department a copy of their reports in case they needed it.  "Flack or Messer, any new moves by Taylor to get you two back?" he asked after a few minutes of quiet.

"Not yet," Danny offered.  "A few nice letters.  Stella misses us.  Lindsay is driving her nuts."  Flack nodded at that.  "We'll see what happens when he comes out for a visit in three weeks."

"Pending a new team case," Don agreed.

"I'm hoping that demon being dead slows things down again," Xander told them.  He looked at them.  "Without him prompting we might get lucky and be a bit bored for a few weeks."

"I hope so," Danny agreed.  He leaned back, sipping his coffee.  He heard the fax machine in the office going off so nodded at Tony.  "Fax."  He went to get it.  "We're doing pretty good for such a small agency."

"We are," Xander agreed.  "But we could use some more research people.  Both in the books and not."

Tony came out of the office.  "They didn't like that one either.  She said there's no such thing as sea monsters."

"We gave it to the morgue when it died," Ryan told him.  He got onto his phone once he had his notes open to call the local Sheriff.  "Hi, Sheriff.  It's Agent Wolfe.  No, small problem.  We were sending over a final report for your people and the prosecutor won't take it because she doesn't believe it was a sea monster."  He smiled.  "However you want to deal with that.  Would you rather we send it to you?  We can do that."  He wrote down a new number.  "Thank you and let us know if we can help you again, sir."  He hung up and went to send it to that number, coming back a minute later.  "He's taking the prosecutor down to the morgue to show her the remains."

"Why did it die?" Flack asked.

"Because it got stubborn and stayed out of the water for too long to pat one of the virgin hostages," Speed said grimly.  "Keeled over in the middle of a beach.  Heavy sucker too.  Took two cranes.  It tipped over a bulldozer."

Ryan nodded.  "It was huge."  He sat down and let Tony take the report to file.  "The hostages were okay though and that was the important thing.  Plus the fishermen decided not to bother his nest so no others have to come up to do the same thing in a few years.  Or else they'd have a definite run on cures for virginity."

"That was a nice conclusion," Speed agreed smugly.  He had prompted that one.

"You know, there's another one who's going to try to ascend in six weeks," Xander offered.

"Don't even  *joke*," Speed ordered.

"Everyone looks hot with artillery," he teased back with a grin.

"I'd have no idea how to fire anything that huge."

"So take Tony.  It's in DC."  Tony stiffened, glaring at him.  He grinned and waved.  "Didn't look at the list?"

"Fuck," he muttered.  Xander nodded.  "I'll warn Gibbs.  He should be able to get some artillery to kill the sucker."  He sat down to do that.  Gibbs was not going to be happy to be sprayed.  So he suggested the director could feel like she was in charge by doing that part.  What he got back amused him.  "The Director of NCIS was in one of those 'demons don't exist, even if they're in front of us' groups.  She tried to burn Gibbs' house while he and the president were sitting in his car in the driveway, in clear sight of the house.  Walked right past them with a gas can."  Others laughed.

"Mental help?" Ryan guessed.

"Special mental help for VIP's so the press doesn't see them in a thorazine coma.  The Prez dropped her off himself."

"He didn't seem like he'd take any shit," Xander said dryly.

"No, he didn't."  He shook his head quickly.  "How do we know it's in six weeks?"

"Minor eclipse," Xander told him.  "Last of this year on this side of the world.  The next one is in Spain and it's not until November I think.  It's one of those things we track, like moon phase.  Wes has a calendar in his room."

"Oh, good."  He went to get that exact date from Wesley, who was more than happy to share what he should be warning Gibbs about locally.  The man was too cheerful this morning.  Clearly he had used the cover of the girls making noise to have some fun with himself.

***

Xander let the two girls into his apartment then closed the door.  "Relax, you're not in trouble."  They sighed in relief.  He sat them down and sat on the coffee table, looking at them.  "John asked me to talk to you two."  They nodded, clutching hands. "Yeah, about that."  They looked stunned.  "None of us here care.  We don't think Giles will since he never had a problem with Willow and Tara or Willow and Kennedy.  So this is a head's up and all that talk, okay?"  They nodded.  "How long have you two been together?"

"Six weeks," Kim said quietly.

Xander smiled.  "Don't be scared of me.  I had to watch Willow figure hers out."  They nodded.  "Now, with that said, do you two need the lesbian specific sex talk?  Protection and stuff is sometimes different when you're loving on girls."  They blushed but shook their heads.  "I know you're both very responsible girls.  You're both late fifteen.  You're both in the right grade because Amber busted her ass this summer to make sure she would be.  Which I am very proud of."  That got a smile and a nod from that girl.  "I will need to know if you two have problems in school."

"Nah, one of the teachers caught us necking in the bathroom and told us we do have an official non-discrimination policy but it still wasn't allowed on school grounds.  We got a warning, next time will be detention."

"There's always better places than the bathrooms, ladies.  Trust me."  They grinned.  "Ask one of the senior girls that you think is pretty cool.  Or even where you two can take a private lunch now and then.  You'll be cooped up all winter."  That got another dual nod.  "Good.  So, we don't need to talk about dental dams, toy care and maintenance, any of that?"  They both blushed bright red.  "Ladies, Anya made sure I was blunt."  They giggled.  "Do we?"

"Dental dam?" Amber asked.

"The female version of what you use when she goes down on you," Xander told her.  "If you're monogamous it's not really an issue but you should have it for future reference, in case you two break up in twenty years or so."

Amber nodded quickly.  "Okay.  I get that.  Think Abby would know?"

"You know, I don't know," he admitted.  "I can ask."  They shook their heads, blushing again.  "Okay, how about I ask Doctor Chase?  House might pick on you two to see the blush."  They smiled and nodded.  "Then let me do that."  He called over there.  "Chase, you busy?  Because I have two girls who need the girl-lovin' sex talk."  He smiled. "Yeah, that one.  I can go over some of it but there's specifics that I can't go into.  Thanks, man.  Home.  With them."  He hung up.  "He'll be over in about ten minutes.  Let him hit work for a minute first to pick something up."  They nodded.  "Now, until then, do we need *things*?"

They blushed bright red.  "I'm betting John confiscated the last round?"  They nodded.  He went into his bedroom closet, opening a trunk with a sigh.  "Anya," he moaned.  He picked out three things that wouldn't traumatize the girls, one a vibrator, and wrapped them up, then locked the trunk down again.  He walked out in time to find Chase coming in.  He nudged Kim.  "Anya sent me with her stuff when he left."  She blushed bright red.  "Yeah, there's stuff in there I don't know *what*species she planned on using it on."  He handed over the bundle in the pillow case.  "Three of the more harmless things.  Treat them well."  She nodded.  He grinned at the flummoxed Chase.  "My ex was a slight case of nympho because she had been a demon for over eleven hundred years.  Didn't get any during it."

Chase shuddered.  "That poor woman."

"More like my poor back, man.  Really."  Chase smiled at that.  "So I gave them three pretty harmless things."  That got a nod and Chase sat down with the girls to go over the pertinent safety precautions, including what a dental dam was.  He was blushing as bright red as they were but it was getting through.  Xander got them all cocoa, earning smiles, then he went to listen in.  He'd have to give it some day.  Far in the future.  Maybe when he had kids.  If he had kids.  The girls finished up and hugged him then bounced back to their dorm.  He grinned.  "Thanks."

"It's good to see them in healthy relationships."

"It is.  They'll be good with each other."  He shook his hand.  "Think you want to traumatize House tomorrow?"

Chase cackled.  "I'd like to see it happen."  Xander went back into the toybox and came out with something.  He stared.  "That's used for sex?"

"Yes it was.  Somehow.  I'm not sure," he said, looking at the extremely thick, bent toy with a corkscrew tip.  "I have no idea what you use this on."   He grinned at him.  Then he called Dawn over.  She walked in without knocking while they were trying to figure the thing out.

"Wow, I haven't seen that since Anya bought it to use for butt sex."

Chase spluttered.  "There's no way."

"According to Anya there was."  She took it.  "Got into the toybox?"

"Yeah, got something mild since John confiscated their stuff.  You girls don't mind, right?"

"They're so cute they're gagging Annabelle," Dawn said dryly.  "We don't care and we'll watch out for them."

"Good.  John knows and he'll quit confiscating their toys."

Dawn smirked.  "Why pull out the alien sex toy?"

"House."

She cackled.  "I love you."  She gave him a hug and took it with her.

"You're going evil," Chase taunted with a smirk.

"I haven't had sex since Vegas."

"Poor man."  He got up.  "I'm going to make notes on what I told them, just in case I have to give it again.  I know I forgot something."

"If so, they'll come ask," Xander said prosaically.  That got a nod and he let him out, then sat down to watch some tv while calling John.  "Hey.  Quit taking Amber and Kim's toys please.  Because lesbians use them too, John.  I know your wife didn't need one, she had you.  Two girls won't.  No, I gave them a few of the ones Anya sent off with me.  And Dawn one so she could ask someone the use of it."  He smirked.  "Chase said the same thing.  Yeah, all given.  Thanks, John."  He hung up and went back to his tv.  It was nice to have a quiet night now and then.

***

Buffy walked into the Cleveland house.  "We slayed *so* many demons," she said in greeting when the girls stared at them. "There were tons and tons of them around the devil's gate thingy.  And some other hunters too.  Not all that cute and young but nice guys."  She smiled.  "How was Cleveland?"

"Good," Kennedy offered.  "It held down while we did Miami and Minnesota."

"Good!"  She smiled.  "How did Miami go?"

"Not one, but two ascensions," Faith said dryly.  "Shooting them with artillery does make you look hot but they spray nasty crap.  I nearly had to throw my favorite jeans out."

Buffy gave her a hug.  "It'll be okay.  Ask Annabelle how to get them clean.  She seems to be able to work the same sort of laundry magic Mom could."

"I did.  It took ten washings to get all the crud out."  She looked her over.  "He cute?"

"No, no cute guys.  Lots and lots of hunters.  We talked about demons and slaying and all that stuff.  It was nice that they understood.  Giles is even trying to recruit some as watchers for you other girls and the later ones."  They smiled.  "So we had fun.  It was nice. The special children demon is gone.  The devil's gate can't open for another twenty- one years.  So we'll see."  They all beamed at that.  "Giles is out in the car finishing his journal because he didn't want pounced."

"Not like we would," Kennedy told her.

"Guys, can't we ease up on him?  He's getting better," she pointed out.

"He's still a butt," Willow said.  "Why?"

"Xander had to take over and he did it really well with Wes," Faith told her.  She sighed but nodded.  "He did a great job."

Buffy nodded.  "He did.  So Minnesota?"

"Cool.  All the ghostly, called back spirits of demons were banished.  The lonely one doing it wanted his crew back; he broke down in tears when DCIS sent him to the prison for it because it killed people.  We did the reports on the plane," Cho told her.  "Then we were getting off the plane and Tony took us to Miami."

"Where up to sixteen gangs of demons were at war with their clans sponsoring it," Faith added.  "We got it down to seven and then the Higher living down there got told why they were having a war.  He was not happy, as proven by the chunks the next morning of the seven gangs and most of their clans."  Buffy shuddered.  "And the two ascensions in the center."

Buffy shook her head.  "Sounds like you girls had just as much fun as I did."  She sat down beside Faith.  "Did we keep up patrols?"

"I did," one of the younger girls said, holding up her cast.  "Which is why I have this."  Buffy grimaced.  "Demon doped on PCP decided I'd waltz with him and didn't like it when I said no."

"He was taking drugs?" Buffy asked, looking confused.

"Yeah, some do," Faith agreed.  "Doesn't do much for vamps but for some of the others.  That one, PCP acted like blotter for his kind."

"He was tripping very hard," the girl said.  "And he's a harmless one so I got one of the elder demons around here to have him carted home and let them yell at his parents for me while my wrist got the pretty cast."

Buffy nodded.  "Sounds reasonable.  He apologize?"

"I got a wonderful apology letter from his mother," she said, handing it over.  Buffy smiled at the nice letter of apology for her stupid son, handing it back.  She put it onto the board.  Giles came in while she was doing that, reading it over her shoulder.  He snorted.  "Her son was very high.  He was trippin' hard and I had to take him down when he grabbed me.  A harmless one so I wasn't going to kill him for being high.  I had someone send him home while my wrist got casted."

He nodded.  "As long as it doesn't happen again."

"She said it won't."  She smirked.  "Did you have as much fun as Buffy did?"

"Quite, plus I have found at least one other who might be a watcher."  He walked into the family room.  "There we are."  Kennedy answered the phone since she was closest and took it outside.  He watched her go, looking confused.

Willow checked.  "It's one of the younger girls.  Probably wanted to ask her something," Willow said.  She smiled.  "So, how many hunters were there?"

"About six but one does know of others."  He sat down in his usual chair.  None of the girls seemed to favor it.  "A few said they might think about retiring from hunting so we could have more watchers here.  It's nearly the same job on their end only they wouldn't have to hunt as much as guide some of you girls."

"It could also help with those potentials too," Buffy pointed out.

"That as well.  Willow, did you find them?  I know Dawn did a locating spell."

"I did.  I took her map and did it.  Including finding the potential she had marked to make sure she wouldn't spontaneously pop out in powers when she turned a certain age.  I also spread it out over the rest of the world since it was so quiet and I wasn't being bugged.  We have five potentials as of this moment."  He smiled at that.  "And still another four we haven't gotten to yet to bring them into the fold."

"Wesley has that well in hand."

"Good!"  She smiled. "I let him know and he updated the people the Major, whoever that is, picked to go find them and tell them."

"The Major is Benny Ray's boss on his strike team and the regular self-defense trainer," Faith told her.  "Really nice guy.  Only gave the girls funny looks when they went all cooing over Benny Ray or him.  The whole base has him and then we got passed onto Dean when X found them.  We passed him then got moved up to the higher level of training."

"That explains that."  She smiled.  "That's good to know.  So they're commandos?"  Faith nodded.  "Real military?"

"Yeah, the Major used to be a Ranger.  Benny Ray was a Marine."

"That's cool."  She smiled as Kennedy came back with a blush.  "Naughty question?"

"Two of the girls have hooked up.  One of them wanted me to ask Buffy for her blessing?"

She shrugged.  "As long as they're happy and treat each other well, I'm all for it," she said happily.  "Who?"

"Kim and Amber.  Mr. Giles?"

"It's fine with me, Kennedy, the same as you and Willow are.  I'm no bigot.  I would not want it to interfere with their education or training."

"No, Xander will make sure it won't.  Xander let them into Anya's trunk of stuff she sent, Buffy."  Buffy cackled and so did Willow.  "John won't confiscate anything they might have."  She put her arm around Willow's waist.  "They wanted to make sure they could come to us to ask questions."

"Of course.  I might blush but that's fine with me."

"Good.  I said they could."  She took a kiss and looked at Buffy.  "No offense but they won't be asking you for tips."

"Not my area of expertise," Buffy said dryly.  "Now, if they wanted to know about dating a commando...."  The other girls cracked up.  "Anyway, we did find a very nice young man that we rescued from the stupid demon.  He's going home but he might be showing up here.  He's a bit psychic.  Telepathic, Giles?"  He nodded. "So he might show up here to help.  We'll have to see.  He knew Sammy somehow."

"That's cool," Faith agreed.  "As long as he doesn't perv in our heads."

"He said he can only send," Giles assured her.

"Even better."  She grinned.  "Okay, you probably need to do laundry since you didn't used to own a shirt that said 'better loving through antibiotics' before you left."  Buffy blushed but went to change and toss stuff in the laundry.  Giles smiled at her.  "We left our reports we had to do for the case file in your room.  If you need a full one, let X know and he'll get you a copy but I think Wes is taking over those."

"Thank you."  He went to read it over while he unpacked.  It had been good to get back into the field.  He felt energized.  Renewed.  It had been a good experience.  Now he knew what he needed to do for the organization while Wesley and Xander handled the girls for him.  He had a duty to make more watchers and get more knowledge.  He knew Xander had a lot of things in storage on the base.  He hoped some of them were copies of books from other watchers' personal libraries.  They'd have to rebuild theirs.  Of course, he'd let DCIS copy and translate anything they wanted before he took his own collection back from them.  They did seem to need it now and then.  Wesley had said Xander had seen reason and by the time it got back down to one girl, they'd have things set up os she could live here and be safe and well taken care of.  All he had to do was to make a new Watchers Council.  Well, Slayers Council.  He did agree with them on why he had renamed it.  He didn't want another Travers in charge ever again either.

***

Xander ran into Tony outside late the next night.  His buddy was nearly stressed out.  He was vibrating and pacing.  Xander stopped him, staring at him.  "What's wrong?  New case?"

"No.  Not that sort of issue."

Xander smiled.  "No pretty girls to hit on?"

"No," he sighed.  "I think this is my longest dry spell ever.  I haven't had any since the case in DC, when I hit up one of my exes the night before we came back."

Xander rubbed down his arm.  "You can't let yourself get this tense, Tony.  It could hurt you or someone else."

"I'd hit on the girls but they'd beat me up," he snorted.

"Plenty wouldn't but John might."  He gave him another pat to the arm.  Tony gave him a look.  "It's stress relief."

"Not the first time I've had to go that way," Tony admitted quietly, glancing around.  "The girls would try to jump me about it."

"They're in bed."  He smirked.  "All tucked in."  He nodded.  "You can if you want.  I could use some after Miami too."  Tony nodded and Xander turned off the electric to the girls' dorm on the way past.  They wouldn't be coming to him about that but it would make sure they weren't listening.  He winked.  "Insurance.  That way they'll all fussing here instead of my apartment.  Or your apartment."

"Mine's safer."   He led Xander up to his, keeping the lights mostly off in case one of the girls decided to browse with the telescope again.  Xander was more than ready and able to help him and it was nice.  He even cuddled after they were done.  Very nice.  He heard someone knock on Xander's door but oh well.  Xander shifted and nibbled on his throat.  "No hickies."

"Not."  He moved further down, teasing him again.  This way he wouldn't go check on whoever it was knocking.

Dawn stomped off.  "No answer at Xander's, ladies.  Let's see if we can figure this out."  Those who had fans to sleep under had woken up when they went off.  They found the fuse box but it looked normal.  Finally Brenda went to wake up John.  He knew about a lot of things and cars.  Maybe he knew about breakers too?

John stomped down with a flashlight to look at the breaker box, flipping the main one.  "Where's the meter outside?"  Dawn walked him out there to show him.  He found it thrown and turned it back on, earning a cheer and a lot of hugs from the girls.  "Bed."  They ran back to their bedrooms, making him shake his head.  "Who shut off the power?"

One of the guards strolled over.  "Xander did on his way to help DiNozzo with some stress," he said quietly next to his shoulder.  John looked at him.  "That way the girls didn't have listening equipment or anything else that was able to be run."

"I'd paddle them," he promised.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He strolled on.  A quick glance up at their windows showed that Sammy was staring out a window and the rest of the floor had no lights on.

John looked up at his son and went to put on pants, waving from the ground until his son saw him and opened a window.  "Need to talk?"

"I'm good.  Just thinking.  Thanks.  You okay?"

"Someone unkindly spooked the girls by turning off their power."

Sam smiled.  "Kept them busy?"  John nodded.  "I'll see you tomorrow.  Night."  He shut the window and turned off the lights, going back to his own bed.  He did feel better now.

John went back to his own room, finding Brenda leaving him a cup of tea.  "I need tea?"

"Yes.  Because you haven't signed permission slips."  He moaned.  She kissed him on the cheek.  "That won't keep you up while you drink it."  She skipped off, heading back to her own room.

"Mary would love that girl and how she dotes on me," he told himself and his wife's picture.  She would've taken Brenda in and made her a daughter.  She was a lot like Sam and Dean, even looked a bit like Sammy.  He settled in with the stack of permission slips for various school field trips, exercises, and reports.  And one bad conduct report.  Why Dawn had detention after her first week he wasn't sure.  He read over each one, frowning at Dawn's.  One of the girls had smarted off to her about being an orphan so Dawn had mouthed back?  Well, at least she hadn't hit her.  Buffy would not be pleased if she had gotten expelled.

***

Tony nearly skipped into breakfast the next morning, a bit later than usual.  Most of the agents were gone and all the girls had already headed off to school.  Xander strolled in after him. "Morning."

"Morning."  He patted him on the back.  "Did they leave us any?" he asked the cook, getting food handed to him on two plates.  "Thanks."  He walked them back, handing Tony one.  "There.  They did leave us some.  Even some pastries."

John leaned in.  "That was mean to turn off their power, Xander.  You confused every single one when their fans shut off."

"Sorry."

"I had to help them look at the breaker box then the meter."  Xander grinned.  "By the way, found their bug; it's in Dean's room and I confiscated that too.  Annabelle had it."  Tony moaned, shaking his head.  "Don't know why.  I'm going to ask her after school."

"I'll be there if I'm here."

"Thanks.  Next time, just sneak past."

"I tried, they were watching," Tony admitted.  "One of the older girls tried to take my keys last night since she said I was too uptight."

"I'll talk with them and we'll work out how the girls relieve stress without bothering you guys."  He left, going to do whatever Wesley needed him to this morning.  It was much nicer with them all in school.  Dean and Sam were going over things with the two new girls who had recently been found.  The Sudanese girl was too old for school and had graduated.  Her children were still too young but very cute.  They adored Sam and one called him a bunny rabbit for some reason.  He and Sam had no idea why but it was adorable.  The girl from Iraq was still on crutches and wouldn't be able to handle the local school for another few weeks, until the casts came off.  It had an elevator but she was tense, too stressed from the injury and the bad things around her house.  She'd end up hurting a kid if they bumped into her wrong.  This gave them time to work on her PTSD issues.  She was having daylight flashbacks and it wasn't good for her.  So for now, they were going over what they needed to know, helping with defense strategies and getting to know them.  He leaned next to Sam's ear.  "We need to talk to Anna later."

"Why?" he asked, looking at him.  "I saw Xander's move with the power."

"Xander thought they might have bugged his or Tony's place.  Turns out she had one for Dean's room."

Dean spluttered, looking at him.  "Excuse me?" he demanded.

"Annabelle," John told him.

"Why!"

"No idea yet.  We'll be talking to her later.  You can listen while Xander and I talk to her."

"Fine," Dean agreed.  He glanced at the girl then switched to Spanish, which he had been brushing up on.  "What about Kim and Amber?  Do we tell them?"  John nodded.  "I can do that."

"I can," Sam promised.  "Ladies, a point has recently been raised by a few of the girls starting to date.  Are you going to feel uncomfortable if two of the girls get together?"

The Iraqi girl frowned.  "Is it expected?"

"No, we don't care who you date as long as they're not shitbags," Dean told her.  He got swatted by his father for it.  "Excuse my language."

The mother looked at him.  "They've heard worse.  Kim and Amber are adorable.  They're also not the sort to do it in front of the children.  I cannot take someone's joy from them."

The other girl frowned at her.  "They are?"  She nodded, smiling some.  "I thought they were just friends.  So if I find a boy?"

"As long as he's nice, decent, and doesn't treat you badly, we're all for it," Sam assured her with a grin.  "Please don't date like Buffy.  She dated a vampire with a soul."  They both gaped and the Sudanese girl covered her children's ears.  "He's a nice sort.  He's the Champion for the Powers in LA.  She dated another one too, one without a soul but he had a behavior chip to keep him from hunting."

"Spike had one inserted because he loved her back," John told him.  "Dawn said so," he said at Dean's odd look in his direction.  He grinned at the girls.  "We don't care as long as you treat them well and they treat you just as good.  Xander might say something if you date a vampire.  He did to Angel often enough according to Buffy, but I'm sure he had his reasons."

"That's disgusting," the Iraqi girl complained, then shuddered.

"Yeah, well, he was an ass," Xander said as he walked in.  "I've seen some great half- demons, some nice full demons, and some nice humans.  As long as you like them, it's a good, firm relationship, it's not hurting anyone or you two, and we don't have to hear details unless you need us to, we don't care."  They smiled at that.  "As for Angel, he moved on.  He dated my ex after her."  John shuddered so Xander grinned.  "Did you meet Cordelia?"

"Once."  He shook his head.  "You need better taste."

"Well, yeah," he admitted.  He grinned at the girls.  "It's a mutual problem.  Buffy dated people who knew who she was and were in the life one way or another.  I dated girls who wanted to kill me.  All the other girls want me to go gay."  Both those girls nodded at that.  "I know.  Not a bad thing really.  Anyway, as long as you're happy and content, they're not shitbags, and things like that we'll be happy for you, okay?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Doctor Chase is looking for you guys."  They went to the infirmary.  "I'm surprised Dawn hasn't pounced House yet.  I gave her the perfect opportunity."

"She's picking her moment," John said blandly.  "I saw that thing.  What was it used for?"

"Anal sex according to Anya."  John went pale.  He shrugged.  "How would I know what sort of alien species she needed it for?  I came home and it was on the bed.  Knowing Anya, she had found a willing one and was cheating on me.  She did with Spike."  He strolled off.  "I'm bored."

"Fix your filing drawer," Sam called after him.  "Wesley said he couldn't find anything."

"Sure."   He went to do that.

John shook his head quickly and shuddered.  "That's gross."

Dean patted him on the arm.  "That's probably not the worst with what we heard about Anya, Dad."  He and Sam went to check on that ...appliance.  Which it was. It plugged in, it was an appliance.  John went for more coffee and a few cookies to take the image of it out of his mind.  The sons followed along, Sam was traumatized thinking about trying to even get that into a body.  It was too wide to his thinking.

***

Dean leaned on Dawn later that night.  "You should ask him in here," he whispered.

She beamed and bounced out then came back.  "Doctor House?"  He looked up from eating, still chewing.  "I was going through some of the stuff Anya sent with Xander when he evacuated the younger girls from Sunnydale."

"I've heard about her," he admitted once he swallowed.  "Why?"

"I was going through the trunk of stuff she sent and found something I have no idea what the purpose is.  Can I ask you?"

"Of course," he agreed smugly.  She put it in front of him.  It was lurid pink.  About a foot long.  Had a corkscrew top, a funny 'z' bend in the center, and was as wide as his ankle.  He choked, because it had a dial to adjust the vibration.  Chase patted him on the back to help him breathe.  He finally caught his breath.  "You know, I don't know."

"Anya said it was for anal sex but I decided she had found an alien species," Xander called helpfully from his seat.  "Think we should send them to Sheppard and McKay?" he asked his protege of evil.  Dawn cackled at that.

House looked over his shoulder at Xander.  "Not even I'm that mean, kid.  Find a girlfriend?  Please?"

"No, he's not allowed to date girls.  He dates girls like Anya," Dawn said, waving the toy.  "Isn't it too wide for that purpose?"

"Some people like things that wide," he told her, watching her blush.  In truth, he could tell he was too.  "I'm not one.  Think I can send that to Wilson first?"

"Cameron's not that much an alien," Chase told him.

House looked at him.  "I was thinking he could give it to Cuddy, a present to make her miss us less."

Chase shook his head.  "She might fire us, House."

"We're fun and neat; you can stay here," Dawn said with a grin.

Chase looked at her.  "We'll see.  Is that the strangest?"

"Hell no."  She concentrated and the trunk floated in.  "Sorry to raid, Xander."  She handed over the boxers that had been lying on top.  He looked then put them into his pocket.  One of the girls gave him an odd look.  "What?"

"Those didn't look like his."

"Laundry left in the dryer," Xander said dryly.  "As I found out when I put them on.  I'll wash them and give them back, unlike you."

"Faith has all yours," she pouted.

Dawn opened the trunk and dug past the regular toys, watching House's face go bright red at all that was in there. "I know.  She didn't pack much beyond a few outfits, a few pieces of jewelry, and all her sex toys.  Showed her priorities."  She came up with a stranger one.  This one was lime green and *huge*.  It was three feet long, eighteen inches wide at the tip, then tapered back to six inches at the base.  "Any idea?"

"Saw that on a demon," Don Flack said happily.  "Doing porn.  The bust in Texas had the guy watching some that had one of those when we got him."

"That's understandable," she decided, digging out another one.  This one was short, thick, and ugly looking.  She waved it.  "Inhumanly wide?"  She had to hold it in two hands and it wouldn't fit in them.

"I don't see how anyone can fit that," Chase admitted.

Xander looked then shrugged.  "She called it a pacifier.  You do realize there's kids in the room?"

"Oops."

"Bring it down to the infirmary, Dawn.  We'll look it over and see if any of the rest should go to Sheppard."  She nodded, floating it off.  Which left the original in front of him.  He whimpered when he noticed the plug hanging off the side.  "Anyone want to set Xander up on dates?"

"His first three tried to kill him," Sam called.  "The next one was a bitter, yappy thing with a 'tude who liked to put everyone down.  Then there was Anya."

"So you agree with the girls and he should be gay?" House asked.

"None of the girls he met in Las Vegas went bad," Dean told him.  He looked down at Xander, who was bright red.  "Unless the ones in that game did."

"Don't ask," Xander said, stuffing his mouth.  Everyone stared at him.  "One tried to take over a town in my name, okay?  Not my doing.  She just wanted me back."  He quickly ate another bite.

"I cede the point.  He should be gay," Sam said.  "Ryan?  You and he seem to get along.  Or Tim?  You were in his head for a while."  Xander glared at him so he grinned.  "They'd understand you.  They'd like being a big brother to the horde."

Xander stuffed his mouth again, taking his plate with him once it was refilled.  He was going to be embarrassed in peace.

"Kinda straight but thanks for the suggestion," Ryan said once Xander was gone.  "I'm sure he's a great cuddler.  I should suggest that to Eric."  Speed looked at him, an odd, disturbed look.  "Eric said Xander unnerved him."

"Xander does it to most other agency's agents too," Tony said dryly, eating a bite of dinner.  He had wondered where those boxers had went.  Now he knew, they had gotten tangled in Xander's clothes.  He'd get them back later.  "Hey, Dean, why was she taping?"  Annabelle slunk down in her seat.

"She was curious about what boys and girls did together so she stole a bug and receiver from the armory and was taping my bedroom."  Annabelle fled before the older girls could glare at her.  "She's not in trouble. We talked, and she's okay with me.  The next one who does it gets beaten."  He stared at one girl who had a serious crush on him.

"Spanking can be fun," she whispered then got up and fled too before anyone tried to.

"Not the way I do it," Dean called after her.  John choked.  "She said it."

"Son, shut up."

"Yes, sir."

"Sammy, find Xander a nice boy.  I'm sure you met a few at Stanford."

"I'm trying.  We're too far away.  The next case that way I'll introduce them."

His father sighed, shaking his head and getting more coffee.  Brenda handed him down the plate of cookies.  "Thanks, Brenda."

"Welcome, John."  She smiled at Dean.  "At least she went after someone who might date.  She didn't tap John's room or Xander's room to find that out."

"She did know who gets all the chicks," Dean agreed happily.

Tony waved his hand.  "I had ten a month in DC, Dean.  Thank you for realizing I was better at it than you are."

"Should we take a nice swab of you too?" House asked dryly.

"No, I play safely.  Always.  I don't want there to be little Tony's.  Gibbs might freak and take them out to spare the world my offspring's future brilliance."

Abby pulled something out of her pocket and shot the dart at him, knocking him out.  "Before he turns evil."  Chase cackled.  "He was."

"He was," Speed agreed.  "Is that the new demon snot darts?"  She beamed and let him see.  "That's pretty cool.  Will it work on a werewolf?"

"It should.  He'll be out until tomorrow so can I have his potatoes?"  House handed his plate down.  "Thank you," she said happily, scraping his plate onto hers so she could have seconds.  The agents got done eating and the girls came over to steal the food off their table to finish off for them.  They only had leftovers on liver night at the base.  "Hey, Sammy, bring George up to the lab tonight please?  I found a recipe for plant food for plant demons and I wanted to see if he wanted some.  I don't know where he's hiding right now."

"He's in our building's elevator for the night to hide from the cold air," he told her.  "I can do that."  He finished up and went to talk to George, getting him up to the lab.  Abby came up a few minutes after they got there.  The plant food was gotten and dropped in.  George's leaves trembled so she added more.  He growled and rubbed against her leg, his branches taking the formula to pour into his pot.  Then he waddled off, heading to find some nice, bright, warm lights.  It was a good night for him.  "Guess he likes it."

"I hope so.  I can make more."  She bounced off to do that while Sam went to do his chores for the night at their apartment.  She sent an email to McKay about the plant food and the formula in case it might help in their botany department.  It seemed to help George be more lively.

***

Xander opened up his door, letting Dawn float in the trunk of sex toys.  "Thanks."  He looked at House when he walked in.

"Welcome."  She put it back and came out to give him a hug.  "Anya was strange."

"Just a bit," he agreed dryly.

"No just a bit about it," House told him.  "We found the site she ordered from. She ordered sixteen different demon dildos, kid.  By the way, she submitted one of you.  You're a pretty good seller recently.  Since the game."  He walked off happier.

Dawn beamed at him. "Isn't that cool?"

"More freaky than cool," he told her.  "Go study."  She nodded, going to do that.  He shook his head quickly to banish that image.  Though he did get online to look.  Anya had apparently somehow made a mold off him one night.  It looked just like him.  Well, maybe the women he had bedded in that game would like one or two.  He logged off his computer and went to bed to have freakish dreams about demons coming to ask him for his autograph like he was a porn star.  That was too strange for him.

***

Daniel looked up from his breakfast his fourth day on vacation to find his boss standing at his table.  "I'm on vacation.  Is it an emergency?"

"No."  He sat down.  "I think we should talk."

"I think not since you had someone break into my office to steal personnel files."  He ate a bite of croissant.  "Until you retire, I'll deal with your assistant, sir."

"I had to."

"I don't care.  You broke any means of trust I might have for you.  Your assistant hasn't made your mistakes yet.  I would assume he'd learn and not try to screw with my people.  After all, he knows what they can do."

The director laughed.  "Your people are strange but powerless, Jackson."

Danny smirked and waved over the demon waiter, getting a hesitant look.  "Now please.  Nothing bad."  He came over.  "This man is my direct boss.  I am..."  He nodded quickly to show he knew.  "He thinks my people will work for him after he stole Xander and Sam's personnel records."

The demon looked at him.  "The Knight hasn't taken care of him yet?  He would us."

"I've asked him not to yet.  The president would get very upset if he handled it his usual way."

The demon swallowed, looking at him then back at Danny.  "I'm very sorry for them.  The Great Family and the Knight will not stand for this.  They will react soon if someone doesn't."  The Director of Homeland laughed at that.  "Does he not know that the Knight has fought many heavy beasts and killed them all?  That he's taken out clans to protect the slayers?  That he blew up a building to do so?  Or that he helped take out a military unit because they had a friend and were tainting that slayer?"  The director quit laughing, giving him a horrified look.  He nodded.  "You are lucky he considers you beneath a threat to him or the Great Family.  If so, it would be tragic to your clan."  He left after refilling Danny's coffee.  The Knight must respect that one quite a lot to listen to him.

Danny smiled, sipping delicately at the steaming hot cup.  He put it back down.  "Xander's all that and more.  There's a reason he makes most agents jumpy.  Thankfully, he knows and believes in what we do, Director.  As I said earlier, we've all agreed that we're able to work with your assistant until you quit.  Because you have no idea what you've pissed off in my people.  Even the ones against us don't want to get on the Slayers Council's bad side."  He shuddered at that reminder.  "Yet you've pissed off fifty-eight slayers and two other watchers, plus the rest of Sam's family.  Pity you were working for an evil one who recently got killed."

"He did not," he hissed.

"If he's the same one who wanted Sam, he did.  Buffy made sure of it and John Winchester helped."  The man went pale.  "If you're working for someone else."  He leaned closer.  "Fair warning.  We won't put up with people trying stuff on my staff.  We tend to take that as personally as Jack takes a threat to SGC."  He leaned back and sipped his coffee again.  "Anything else, Director?  Because I'm on vacation.  It's been a stressful year."  He took another drink and nibbled a bit more of his excellent, handmade croissant.  The director got up and stormed off.  Danny pulled out his phone and texted a message to someone.  Just in case.  Then he turned off the recording and sent it as well.  Pity the man was against his people.  He'd hate to see what would've happened if Tony had still been in charge.  Or worse, Xander.

***

Abby looked up as the door to the lab opened, waving at the blonde woman.  "I'm in here," she called when she didn't see her.  Sam leaned in.  "Hi, Sam.  What's up?"

"McKay said to tell you the plant mixture didn't work as well as hoped but substituting one chemical in the compound worked wonderfully for the peculiarities of their local growing system."  Abby beamed at that.  "What did it do here?"  She pointed at George, who was shaking in the corner.  He had grown by about seven inches since she had fed it to him a few days back.  "He's grown."

"He has.  He's becoming a huge shrub demon.  Even Annabelle said so when she helped him pluck some of his new buds."  She beamed at George, patting him gently on the top branches.  He shivered and came to nuzzle her leg.  "More later, George.  Go sit outside in the sun.  You need real sun, not lab lights."  He waddled out, going to sit in the sunniest part of the courtyard.  "So why else did you hop up?"

"Hoping to find Daniel."

"He's on vacation.  House said so."

"House?"

"Our new head doc.  Doctor Greg House.  He's been very helpful.  Did I send you demon parts?"

"No," she said, coming in further.  "What sort of demon parts?"

"They had two ascensions in Miami so they sent me the remains," she said happily, beaming at her.  Sam smiled back.  "They're out back in the refrigerated building so we could dissect and look at things like their poison sacs."

"Let's go look.  Or are you busy?"

"Bit busy.  I'm doing forensic work right now."  She shrugged.  "Some tests won't work on what we have to deal with so I'm reformulating for our specific needs.  I'm making sure our tests have a good reliability rate."

"That's exciting work.  How much have you had to change?"

"We've had to add whole indexes to the GCMS and a few other machines," she said with a point.  "That's what we've been working on up here."

Sam moved over to look at the new index lists.  It was well laid out for easy searching.  "Hey, one of mine is on here."  Abby rolled over to look.  "That one."

"We weren't sure if he was alien or demon.  He kinda looked like a slime, lime green version of a Roswell Gray, but you never know.  Could be a half-breed."  She shrugged and got back to it.  "Shoot, failed one out of four tests.  Not good enough," she said a minute later, pouting at it.  "I need more research CSIs."  She called down to the squad room.  "Tim, are you, Ryan, and Danny busy?"  She smiled.  "No, my current one won't be reliable.  I need to find out why.  Thank you.  I'm taking Sam out to see the remains.  Sure.  I can wait."  She hung up.  "The other CSI gods will be up here in a minute."

"Sure, I can wait."  She smiled.  "Anything else that went to McKay and Sheppard?"

"Well, I think Danny sent the film of the ascension Dean got from the first one in Miami.  I know he had it copied onto a DVD so he could send it to Jack at the very least."

"I heard about that one.  He said it was disturbing."

"It was, and kinda gross when the artillery hit it.  No wonder Xander had to blow up a school to kill the bigger version."  Speed walked in.  "You wonderful man you!" she said happily, giving him a hug around the neck.  "That test.  It's driving me more insane.  I don't even have Gibbs to get me a caf-pow."

"I'll look it over," Speed promised.  "Show her the remains for a while."  She nodded, taking off her gloves and coat to drag Sam out to the refrigerated exam building.  Speed shook his head, gloving and coating up so he could get to work on his first love - samples of weird things that had to be identified.  There was a forensics convention coming up and Abby wanted to present a lot of new material, which she had, but she wanted to finish this database and test too.

***

Daniel walked back on base two days later, smiling because it was still standing.  The girls squealed and ran over to hug him.  "Yes, I'm back.  Don't undo all the masseuse's good work, girls."  They laughed and let him go.  "Any traumas?"

"Dawn got House back for the dye stuff," one said happily.  "Anya gave Xander freaky sex toys so she asked him what one was for at dinner."

Danny moaned.  "Why?"

"To make him blush," Dawn said with a bright, happy grin.  "It worked!  She had a lot of freaky stuff and he was horrified.  Though he did agree, Xander needs to date a nice boy."

"I'm sure he'll find one," Danny said dryly.  "Anything else happen?"

"Jack called," John said, coming over.  "For some reason he called me to have me call when you got back.  I guess to make sure you got back.  Sam's helping Abby in the lab."

"That's fine.  She's good at it."  He smiled.  "I'll call Jack."  He handed over the verbatim message as ordered.  He read it and laughed.  "He thought I was going to be kidnaped."

"Are you as bad as Xander?" Brenda teased.

"Worse in some areas," he admitted.  "Anything else I should know?"

"No paperwork.  Only one research case this week, already passed on and signed off."  Danny really smiled at that.  "No one checked your voicemail though."

"I'll check it in a few.  Thanks, guys.  It's a good welcome home."

"We're cooking tonight," Annabelle told him.

"I look forward to it," he promised, patting her on the head.  "Let me go check in and drop my bag."  He went to do that then headed to his office to listen to his voicemail.  Nothing horrible.  Notice that the Director of Homeland had retired and the president was taking nominations for a new one.  Jack wanting to know where he was.  Which was probably why he had called John.  He called him back.  "I'm back from vacation.  I had a great time.  It was quiet, peaceful, and decent."  He leaned back, listening to him complain.  "I heard Sam's here, Jack.  Why?"

He smirked.  "I'll let her know you want a call and she forgot to get extra time before reporting.  Anything else?"  He nodded, making a note.  "I'll have Abby check it and send you the results if Sam doesn't.  How's the base?"  He smirked at the 'hell on my nerves' answer.  "I'm sure it'll be fine, Jack.  Not like you have SG-1 to rule over," he taunted.  "Not like Hammond did us."  He listened to Jack complain about the new version.  "Still not as bad as us, Jack.  Jack, two words: quantum mirror."  Jack spluttered but did finally agree it wasn't something they had run into yet.  "See, better than we were.  We hit how many alternate realities?"  He smirked.  "Good!  I'm back.  Why?"  He nodded.

"Sure, if Major Davis wants to talk about that treaty I'm good.  I'm back and we haven't had much to do while I was gone."  Someone screamed.  "That was the sound of a prank gone wrong since no one's running to help.  So much worse than you are, Jack.  The girls get into it too."  He hung up on his cackling.  "I should send more of them to you for a bit of training."  He called the lab.  "Hey, Speed, put Sam on?"  He waited while he did that.  "Did you forget to tell Jack you needed extra time to report and give him the results on some PX-9484y alien bits?"  He smiled. "I just did.  He thought we had kidnaped you."  He laughed at her assurance she was working hard.  "Fax him the results and then call, Sam.  Sure, I'm back."  He hung up and went to check what had happened.  Xander was missing the hair on his head.  "Nair?"

"Spell," Xander growled.  He finished texting and it grew back.  "I should go beat Willow," he said blandly.  "Anyone want to spank Willow for me?"  Everyone in the room raised their hand.  "Good!"  He texted that to her and she appeared to give him a hug.  Danny Messer grabbed her and walked her off to have a talk about responsible magic use with her.  Someone clearly needed to.  He looked at him.  "Hey, boss.  How was the vacation?"

"Great.  I'm very relaxed, it's nice.  Should I expect an assault?"

"Buffy stopped that one."

"Good!"  He beamed.  "Anything I should know?  I heard about Dawn embarrassing House already."

"Abby wants to present stuff at a forensic conference.  Tony wasn't sure if it was reimbursed or not.  He couldn't find the forms and he never wrote that out.  She has to know by next week."

"We can talk about that.  Anything else?"

"She could use more people and we could use more research people."

"I've been looking for those.  We'll see what we can do."  Xander handed him a list. "Why?"

"The girls wanted and Giles likes but he doesn't want to check with Gibbs.  Considers him too hard."

"I'll check and let Tony talk to him."  He put that into his front pocket.  "Nothing else happened?"

"The first annual DCIS poker game," Tony said as he walked in with a donut.  "Abby..."  Danny nodded.  "Cool.  Researchers?  Giles wants his books back soon.  Once he has a library set up in about a year."

"I can find those too."

"We have enough for a full new team.  We'll have another ascension soon but I've warned the people out there so we shouldn't have to go.  It's in DC and Gibbs can find artillery."  Xander pouted.  "They'd never let you do it in DC, Xander."

"Fine," he pouted.  "Don't let me play with the nice toys."

Danny Jackson patted him on the back.  "We'll figure it out, Xander.  Maybe you can go consult if we don't have anything going on."  He looked at Tony.  "How often do we need a full new team?"

"Six cases out of eight," he admitted.  "Plus they've got skills we don't.  Since the computer techs are freaking out at the demons having sex thing they found on that slavery ring, McGee could fill in there now and then.  Abby does right now but she could use the help.  It'd add a few other languages to the group and a few others who can write good reports.  Plus another bomb person."

"I'll talk with them and look over to see if we need them soon."  Tony got something and handed it over.  "This is?"

"Next prophecy of a major bad thing next year.  We'll need one by then.  Giles said it was nice the demon covering up his misdeeds created so much work and he did it during a time when there were no prophecies."

"Good to know."  He walked off.  "Anything else I should have?"

"I arranged your filing cabinet by the thing handled, not the date," Tony called.  "Easier to find it that way.  I also added a list by which team handled it which is by date, as well as an index listing which case had which main demon it was filed under.  If you don't like it we can fix it later."

"We'll see how well it works."  He went to find Abby and talk to her.  Sam had sent the information to Jack and was talking to him in the lab's office.  He looked at Abby.  "Conference?"  She held up the brochure while she typed one handed.  "Problem?"

"Ryan's new case.  He's got some strange results that point at no demons.  But we've clearly seen demons so we don't know why."

"Possession?"

"No, we've seen physical demons."  She let him have the brochure and went back to searching.  "Ah-ha!" she shouted.  Ryan came jogging in.  "Here, this a demon result," she said proudly.  "He's a halfie and he changes sides!"  She hugged him.  "Such a brilliant case, Ryan. Thank you."

"Thanks, Abby.  It was driving me nuts."  He took the results and went to tell the local office out there that had forwarded it over.

Abby beamed at the boss.  "I love to make them happy."

"I'm happy too."  He looked at it then at her.  "Let me see if we have room in the budget."  She squealed and hugged him too.  "Give me two days and remind me if I haven't told you."  She nodded and he went to start with her contract.  He saw she was needing a new one soon and put that onto his task list.  The contract didn't say anything about conferences, just proprietary information.  So he sat down to look at the budget and how much it was supposed to cost.  He had some wiggle room....  So maybe they could pay for rooms or the fees, but the agents could pay for the rest?  He decided that was fair and went to talk to her about it.  "How about if we cover fees but you guys get your own rooms?"

She pouted. "They're really expensive there."

"Abby, not like you pay rent here," he pointed out.

"Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that."  She shrugged.  "Then I guess I could.  I'm sponsoring an information seminar on what we've found so other forensics people can know."

"Good!  I encourage that.  It's furthering the art."  She smiled and nodded, bouncing around to her music.  "Give me a form about how much it cost and a receipt?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Who else is going?"

"Ryan.  Sam wanted to go too.  Speed might go but he might get funny looks.  Danny might go too."

"That'll work as long as we can make at least one team while you're gone."

"It's only for a weekend so it should be okay."

"Good."  He smiled back.  "Let me know."  He left, going back to his office to draft a memo about that.  It got sent around and it was good.  He was actually done for the day.  He went to look at his filing cabinet.  It was easy enough to read.  Tony had kept it alphabetical.  'Demons under A' had a few and so on.  The indexes weren't that easy to read but it looked good enough for now.  He'd see if it worked.  If not, they could redo it when they were bored.  He went to check the contracts.  A few more were about to run out.  He went to talk to the Major.  "Good afternoon."

"Hey, boss.  What's up?"

"Contract time."

Major Sheppard sighed.  "You don't really need me now."

"You do run the gym and help the girls."

"They've all graduated to Dean.  Plus, I have a bar at home that's been declared a hot spot for girls playing beach volleyball."

Danny smiled.  "I understand.  Find a replacement for Benny Ray?"

"Of course.  He's got a short list for you."

"I'll see him next."  He shook his hand.  "Thank you for all your help during our setup and insane times. Keep an eye on Cordette's training?"

"Not a problem.  If you need help in LA, look us up."  That got a nod and Danny went to the armory.  Sheppard smiled at his back.  That was the nicest retirement he had ever put in.

***

Danny looked at the short list and sighed.  Nearly impossible.  Every single one of them.  Fortunately John, Xander, and Dean could fill in for a while.  Unless they got a huge bust then they'd need someone who was an 'expert' and their lone former ATF agent was not qualified.  He could bust but he couldn't name the make and model of his own gun, much less others. They could borrow.  He could haunt the federal labs for one.  Or he could send Tony and Xander out to bag one for him. They weren't busy....  Well, it might work.

***

Xander smiled at the blonde lady he was back in Miami to see.  "CSI Duquesne, may I have a word?"

She looked at him and the folder in his hand.  "New case?  Horatio's going to be very upset."

"No, not a new case.  I'm here to be tempting."

"Oooh.  I shouldn't even listen.  Horatio will be *very* upset if I listen to lofty goals and offers from federal agents."  She smiled.  "I'm sorry."

"You can have a position on a field team when you're not in the armory," he offered, moving closer.  "You'd have all the slayers on base who'd look at you like a big sister.  They do to Abby."

She shook her head but patted him on the cheek.  "I like my present job.  Sorry, Agent Harris."

"Xander, please."  She nodded at that.  "Would you happen to have a handy list of people we could talk to?  We need an armory master.  We have different guns, artillery, unusual weapons, and now and then poisons and darts.  Some confiscated and some not.  They'd be responsible for any count we had for confiscated ones."

She considered it.  "I know a few people I could ask."

"That'd be handy."  He smiled.  "Ours is leaving in four months.  Do you think you can do it by the big forensics seminar and conference thingy that's coming up?  Abby's going to be there and so is Ryan since he and Speed helped do a lot of the research to make what we do applicable to what you do."

"Really?"  She moved closer.  "How applicable?"

He grinned.  "Very.  Some new tests, some indexes.  She's giving a lecture during it."

"I want to see that.  Horatio would too."

"It's the one in Chicago.  She asked a few of the guys what the weather would be like recently at dinner."

"I'll bring it to her there, Xander.  Thank you for the offer.  I'm honored."

He grinned.  "We need more females on base.  The girls could use more female role models who kick ass."

She laughed.  "I certainly do."  She winked.  "I'll let Horatio know about Abby's lecture too.  Thank you."  She walked inside and he went to call home she guessed since he was on the phone as he drove off.  She ran into Horatio in the lab.  "Abby, out of the DCIS lab, the one Ryan's been working with, is going to be giving a lecture at the conference in Chicago."

"Really?" he asked.  "How do we know this?"

"Harris just came to ask me to be their armory master."

"I see."

"I said I'd give Abby a list during the conference.  Ryan might be there too.  He said she's got a few new tests, some indexes to look through."

"I saw one of them. It's a handy index to look at and find what you need."  He stared at her.  "It is a prestigious spot."

"I like what I do and you'd pout worse if I left."  She bopped him on the arm with the folder.  "He even came with the offer."

"I'm sure he did."  He walked her off.  "Let's see how much this one costs.  We might be able to be reimbursed for it."  She smiled at that. "Is Speed going?"

"No idea.  He mentioned Abby and Ryan."

"Hmm."  They looked it up on the first computer they came to, reading up on the particulars.  Abby's lecture was listed.  She signed them up and did the reservations right then.  Then she started on the reimbursement for the room and fees since she had used her credit card.  Horatio got his own, then he went to his office to call a few others and let them know.  "Mac, Horatio down in Miami."  He smiled.  "It is good to hear from you.  We were just approached by one of the DCIS agents and heard something interesting.  Abby has done more than the one chart I've seen.  She'll be speaking at the conference in Chicago.  That one, yes.  I've heard Ryan Wolfe will be with her, I'm not sure about others.  Also, if you have a suggestion, they're looking for a new armory master.  Yes, they came for Calleigh but she graciously turned them down for my sanity."  He laughed at the laughter going on.  "So, should I say I'll buy lunch this time?"  He smiled.  "Good enough.  I'll see you there."  He hung up and emailed a few others.  They needed to know too.

***

Mac walked out of his office, running into Stella in the hallways talking with Sheldon Hawkes.  "Abby Scuito is giving a lecture at the conference coming up in Chicago."

"Which means....?" she asked.

"She's the head of the forensics lab and RD at DCIS," Sheldon told her.  "She used to work in one of the government labs in DC before she got poached."

"Ah!  I see the connection now.  Are Danny or Don going too?"

"We'd have to ask," he said with a smile.  "Horatio told me they came down to poach Calleigh for their armory.  She said no apparently; he was too happy to have just lost her."

"Interesting.  So maybe we'll go.  Weren't you going, Sheldon?"

"I was," he agreed.  "I wonder what they've found."

"Probably a lot.  They've been doing a lot of research, including medical fields from Don's last letter," Stella told him, getting an interested look.

"I'll definitely be attending that one.  I hope there's going to be empty seats left.  I should check to make sure it's not pre-registration required."  He went to do that.

She smiled at Mac.  "Are you going to hear the new stuff or to see Danny and Don?"

"To try to talk them into coming back."

"If we have the manpower, let me know.  I'll go with you and Sheldon."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Relax, Mac.  They're not in danger.  All the bad things happened last month from what I heard.  Horatio should've been throwing a fit.  He had a demon clan gang war going on in his city."

"I heard.  Oh, did I hear," he moaned lightly, shaking his head.  "Horatio complained for three days about the slime he got covered in and Harris being bouncy and violent."

"I guess he's good at what he does," she decided.  She walked off.  "I'm nearly done with my last case."

"Let me know how it turned out."  He went to see who else had signed up to go.  Maybe he could bump someone.  Stella would be a better enticement than Lindsay was to get his people back where they belonged.

***

A few days later Greg Sanders looked up from his latte in the mall, frowning at the man sitting across from him.  "Agent DiNozzo.  New case?"

"Poaching," he said with a wicked grin.  "Xander tried to get the first on the list, I'm trying the second."

"For?"

"Armory master."

"Oooh, Bobby," he said with a grin of his own.  "Hard sell."

"All the pretties he could play with, helping us make the speciality bullets we use.  Confiscated guns now and then.  In charge of our armory and range."

"He might go for it.  I don't know.  Need introduced?"

"Please.  I know you work in the same lab he does."

"He's a buddy actually."  He called him.  "Bobby, my man.  There's an agent here with me at the Crestside Starbucks that would like to talk to you about something.  Yup, with me.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "We can go over, it'll give him enough time to pick up."

"Sure.  Want me to follow you?  I drove down."

"That'll work."  He walked his coffee out and drove over there, getting out to watch the agent park his mustang very gently.  "She must be loved."

"She's very loved.  Especially on our roads for the long drives."  He grinned.  "Shall we?"

"Fix your shirt?"  He looked down then fixed his shirt so it wasn't bunched up.  He walked him up to the proper apartment, knocking for him.  Bobby Dawson answered.  "Bobby, this is Special Agent DiNozzo, DCIS."

"Nice to meet you.  I know Greg's our regional liaison.  Is there a new case you need help with?" he asked in his gentle southern accent.

"Actually, I'm hoping for a new armory master."  Bobby gaped.  He smiled.  "Inside?"

"Of course."  He let them in and sat down, looking at him.  "You mean like confiscated weapons?"

"That and our arsenal, our speciality bullets that we make on site, the gun lockers for the agents.  We have a Marine who did weapons training before he retired from the Corps but he's retiring in just under four months.  Your name was second on the list, he chose a female first so the slayers would have another good female role model."

"Did Calleigh blush?"

"Xander said she gave him a horrified look and said Horatio would be *very* upset if we poached more from Miami since we have Wolfe and Speedle."

"Didn't he die?" Greg asked.

"Yes but then he ended up accidentally possessing Xander; the witch we have on base sneezed to exorcize him and give him a new body.  She got teachers after that."  Greg choked.  "Sorry, but sometimes Dawn is amazing and sometimes she's seventeen."  Bobby laughed.  "If you couldn't, I figure you could give me a good list.  She's making us one if you don't accept."

"I'm flattered to be asked.  What sort of speciality bullets do you guys use?"

"We have some lead ones.  Some hollow point, holy water ones, and some wooden core ones that are teflon jacketed."  He popped out his gun and handed it over.  "Those are the holy water hollow tipped.  Those are the most usual carry.  We also teach all the younger slayers how to use anything we have in the armory.  They have instinctive knowledge but not always great aim.  You'd be our arms master in all meanings of the word."

"Wow," he breathed, popping out the clip to look at a bullet.  "That doesn't look that complicated."

"I've got a box of each at home," Greg admitted, finishing his coffee and tossing out the cup.  Bobby took it out of the trash can and put it into the real one.  "Sorry, forgot you were using that to store the current month's journals until you read them."

"Not a problem.  They weren't wet.  You suck all the coffee out of your cup.  Unlike Archie."  He put the bullet back and handed it back properly.  "How long do I have to think?"

"Few hours?  Up to a few days?  Benny Ray's leaving in just under four months and we asked Calleigh to give us a list by the conference in Chicago since a few of us are going up to hear what Abby's come up with."

"She is?" Greg asked, sitting up.  "Like lists so we can tell when something comes up?"

"Like whole new tests," Tony told him with a grin.  "Plus new lists and charts."

"I'm so going," Greg said, looking at Bobby.  "If you don't take it, I'll bring the list with me."

"Sure."  He smiled.  "I'll definitely think about it and let you know by tomorrow night?"

"Of course."  He handed over the envelope from his pocket.  "This is our standard contract.  We're open to a bit of negotiation."

Bobby read it over, nodding at the salary.  "A bit higher than I make now.  Where's the headquarters?"

"North Dakota.  So if you hunt, there's some great hunting.  Benny Ray got his limit in deer last year.  Bow and shotgun.  He brought his son up for his first hunt and he got his first deer too."  That got a smile.  "The girls went 'eww' when they found it was deer meet, but they're girls."

Bobby laughed.  "They seemed very energetic during the invasion video."

"You have no idea.  Fortunately they've calmed down.  They used to try to panty raid the agents."  Bobby gaped.  "We live on base.  Nice apartments.  Free cable."

"On top of the salary?"  Tony nodded.  "Wow."

"We deal in things that give most cops and agents headaches. F or those who can deal, we want them protected and able to not have too many worries.  We protect each other like some very strange family."  He stood up.  "I'm going to be in town.  I needed a few days off and Xander seemed to have a lot of fun during his vacation here."

"That's good to know," Greg said dryly.  "He still having the freakish luck?"

"Don't know.  We didn't let him participate in the first annual DCIS poker game.  Or Dean either since he's a card shark."  He grinned.  "Let me know."  He shook their hands and left, heading to his hotel for a short rest and to hit on the pretty women.  Maybe he'd even sink low enough to buy a few.

Greg looked over at the offer.  "That's about what they offered me but I'd be a regular agent so I'd be making about ten grand less."  He stood up.  "I took my offer to Griss and negotiated."  He walked out, leaving his friend to think.  Though he did go put up a notice on the bulletin board back at the lab.  Ecklie caught him.  "The head of forensics at DCIS is speaking at this one.  She's made new tests and charts for easier identification."

"Are they being added to the machines?"

"I don't know yet," he admitted.  "I can email her.  I know she's handed what she's figured out to people taking the classes to help her.  Hodges is testing a few hypothesis for her in a wider lab setting since they only have a few cases a month."  He grinned.  "It's a forensic conference some of us were going to anyway."

"Are you?"

"If at all possible."

"Fine."  He walked off fuming.  He hated it when his lab was shown up.  He walked into Grissom's office, finding him packing up for the day.  "DCIS is speaking at the forensics conference coming up in Chicago."

"I saw that.  Nick's going, so is Hodges."

"I'm going," Greg called on his way past the doorway.  "I put a notice on the bulletin board.  She's got new tests too."

"Good to know."  He smiled.  "Whoever can should probably go.  Hodges has found a number of demonic samples at crime scenes that don't relate back to anything demonic.  One had a maid who was a half-demon, a few others that had workmen who were.  Before it would've been an anomalous sample; now we know."

"I want full details to see if we need to upgrade anything, Gil."  He walked off, going to sulk.  Why weren't his people getting that sort of work?  Why *Hodges*?

Grissom went to check in with his trace tech, who was getting ready to head out as well.  "Are you going to see Abby Scuito speak at the Chicago conference?"

"I am.  My papers are on your desk."

"Good.  Remind me tonight."  He walked on, heading for his home.  He could use a nap.

Hodges shook his head, going to his own home.  Some labs were too paranoid about people being poached.

***

In Washington, DC, Gibbs was looking at the email that got handed to him.  "What's this?" he asked McGee.  "Resignation?"

"I'm going out in three weeks to interview.  Their director went on vacation after the incidences in Miami, Minnesota, and that sea creature in Maine in the same week."

"I don't blame him."  He looked at it then smiled.  "Abby's giving a lecture?"

"Apparently so.  She's apparently updated at least a few things.  It's a forensics conference but I'm sure she'd want you there, boss."

"I'll go."  He smiled at him.  "Thank you."

"Your email's still forwarded to mine," he said dryly.  "I fixed that for you."  He went back to his desk while Gibbs got back to work on their present case.  The tech that had replaced Abby was pouty, slow, and whiny.  He missed having Abby and Tony around to make his life more lively and fun.  He wanted them back too!  He had pouted a few times about wanting them back.

***

The conference chair in Chicago looked at the reservations that had suddenly went up from some very major labs and smiled.  "We'll have to move the new forensics technologies panel somewhere bigger," he decided, shifting rooms around.  He looked at the selected list of events and moved one other talk to a bigger room too.  He had no idea which agency DCIS was but apparently their tech was going to be giving a lively recruiting or whatever talk a few were looking forward too.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Conventions

Abby checked into the hotel, smiling at the check-in clerk.  "Good morning," she said happily.

"Good morning.  Here for the conference?"

"I am.  Abby Scuito, DCIS."  The woman frowned as she typed that in, then shook her head.  Abby pulled out her reservation receipt, handing it over.

She put in the number.  "Hmm.  It looks like management canceled and overrode it.  I don't know why.  Let me get my manager?"

"Sure," she agreed happily.  She looked at the person behind her.  "Guess it's my turn.  It happens to everyone at least at one conference."  The person behind her nodded.  "Abby Scuito, DCIS," she said, holding a hand out.

"Abigail Walters, LAPD," she said with a smile, shaking it.  "You're one of the people that came for our invasion?"

"I was in the lab with the younger girls watching our manly men agents deal with it.  I'm not meant for combat."  That got a smile and a nod.  "But I did do a lot of research after it."  She turned when the clerk came back.  "Did I mess up?" she asked at the look on her face.

"No, we did.  It'll take us a few minutes to find you a room, ma'am.  As soon as we find one open we'll give it to you.  If you'd like to go check into the conference, you can."

"Sure."  She carried her bag that way.  "Hi, Grendal."

"Abby!"  He jumped, turning to look at her.  "Why're you here?"

"I'm talking here."  He gave her a stunned look.  She beamed.  "I'm even on the schedule.  Or I should be.  This is the Chicago conference, right?"  He nodded quickly, looking at it then gaping at her.  "I'm the head of the labs and RD at DCIS now."

"Wow," he breathed.  "Gibbs is here.  I saw him."

"That's cool.  I haven't seen him in months."  She signed in and took her packet.  "Thank you, dear one."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "If they find me a room we can have drinks later."

"Sure."  He looked then pointed.  "There's Gibbs."  She squealed and went to pounce him.  He moved her bag out of the way so it was protected.  An employee in a suit and tie was looking his way.  "Looking for the DCIS rep?"  He nodded.  So Grendal pointed.  "She's hugging her former boss, Special Agent Gibbs."

"Thank you."  He went to clear his throat near her.  "Ma'am, we do have a room for you.  Thank you for your patience."

"It happens at least once every conference," she assured him, taking his arm to walk back to the desk.  She stopped to get her bag and let him finish checking her in.  She went up to her room and then came back down.  "Can I speak with that guy who was wearing the assistant manager tag please?" she asked politely.  He was gotten while the clerk checked in someone else.  "Did you know my room had a missing wall?"  He groaned, following her up there to see why.  It looked like something huge had taken a bite out of it to her.  So maybe it had been the last case in town.  Gibbs knocked then let himself in with a card scanner.  "Is McGee here?" she demanded.

"Of course."  He looked at the wall.  "That's not very safe and it's cold."  He looked at her.  "We have a pull-out, Abby."

"You sure?"

"He's been pouting about missing you."  She hugged him and he glared at the manager, who shrank down.  "She'll be getting a refund?"

"Of course," he agreed, hurrying off to do that while Gibbs got her and her bag down to his room.

"Only one bag?"

She looked up.  "I'm in, Dawn."  She opened a portal and shoved the rolling cart over, then a second one.  "Thank you, sweetie.  Dawn, this is Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  He used to be mine and Tony's boss.  He met your sister recently."

"I'm sorry.  Did she airhead you to death?" she asked dryly, smiling a bit while shaking his hand.  "Gotta go, nearly lunch."  She winked and closed the portal.

Abby beamed.  "She's a great future watcher."

"I can tell."  He got her stuff moved out of the way of the door and she settled in on the couch.  "You're presenting?"

"A lot.  We've done a whole lot of work."  She beamed and squealed when Tim came in, pouncing him to hug.  "I heard you pouted like Kate."

"The new guy's an idiot and whiny," he complained, giving her a squeeze.  "No Tony?"

"Later.  He had to wrap up his last case so he'll be in later tonight with the other CSI.  I flew commercial to get here earlier."

"That's cool," he agreed, settling in beside her.

"She's borrowing the pullout since her room had no walls," Gibbs told him.

"I saw that three had none," he admitted.  "Looked like someone huge punched them."

"Could be.  We had a case here a few months back," she admitted.  She shrugged.  "If so, we have a report on it for their insurance company I guess."  Someone knocked on the door and Gibbs answered it.  "He's whiny?"

"He's so whiny," he said grimly, shaking his head.  "He pouts, he's slow, he's opinionated, he's a bastard to be around.  There were a few days he clearly had PMS because he beat Gibbs at being a bastard and even the Director said so."  He looked over at Gibbs when he shut the door.  "Problems?"

"Taylor's in.  He and Horatio are having lunch.  I told him when the rest of them are getting here so they can see their former teammates."  He sat down on his bed, looking at her.  "What have you found?"

She pouted. "You're not coming to my lecture?"

"Of course I am."

"Then you'll see then," she said happily.  "Unless the people that canceled and overwrote my reservation also did my spot on the conference schedule."

"If so, we can hold it somewhere," Tim promised, giving her a squeeze.  "I'm coming too."

"Cool!"  She beamed at them.  "Lunch?"  They nodded and went with her to find food.  She stopped at the conference table.  "They didn't cancel my talk, right?"

"No, you're on the schedule and the room schedule," he promised, letting her see.

Gibbs looked in the room then came back shaking his head.  "It'll only hold about twenty- five.  We know of at least twenty that're coming," he told the guy.  Who winced.  "Abby, can you give two?"

"Sure!  I don't mind.  We can do that."  She smiled.  "If we have to, I can."

"Sure.  Instead of the scary movie festival?" he teased.

"Well, I do deal in scary monsters, and some very nice demons too."  He grinned at that.  "Some are very nice.  Some are even very pretty, but a few of them are really scarier than Godzilla ever was."  She shrugged.  "We'll let you know."  She bounced off with her NCIS family.  The rest of her new family would be in tonight for her to hang out with.

Grendal went to tell the conference organizer.  "DCIS might need a bigger room but she offered to hold a second talk if necessary."

"That'll work.  Scuito, right?"  He nodded.  "Then we'll figure it out.  I've never met her."

"She used to be the lab tech at NCIS, DC's office."

"Oh, her!  Pigtails, all black?"  He smiled and nodded.  "She'll be a long speech, we'll have to plan for that."  He went to make that note and to check on the room.  Maybe they could add seats if they had to.

***

"Why is it that every time we hit LA for a case they either give us the detective who hates us for dealing with the case he doesn't want to deal with in the first place, and sometimes is willing to give up his badge so he doesn't have to deal with, or we get ambushed by stranger stuff than the last time we got ambushed there?" Tony complained as he walked into the hotel.  "I swear, I think they save it up for us on purpose."

"Hey, it wasn't just us trapped in with the demon giving birth," Don Flack said dryly.

"Thank God," Tony agreed.  "Connor had a clue what he was doing.  Morgan and Crissy were a great help and Cor cooed over the baby demon very happily.  Made Charlie grin and ask her if she wanted to be a mom some day."

"I still like her answer of 'of course I do, silly, someone has to think your hair's a pet in the future'," Ryan said with a grin.

"Cordette's a wonderful girl," Danny Messer agreed.  "Very adorable."

Speed, who had been picked up at the base, gave them an odd look.  "I saw plenty of her from Xander's mind.  Kids give me the creeps."  He looked at the check-in clerk.  "Speedle, DiNozzo, Messer, Flack, and Wolfe to check in for the conference," he said.

She pulled up the first name and frowned.  "Not again," she mumbled, pulling up the other names.  Only two had rooms.  "Well, I have reservations for a few of you.  Let me do them first while we figure out why the system ate them."  She took their reservation confirmations and typed those in.  Still the same number of rooms.  She got those ones checked in, then got the night assistant manager out to deal with the others.  "Like earlier, sir.  I don't know why."

"Who else got eaten?" Tony asked with a grin.  "It happens at least once at any convention."

"A very nice presenter named Abby something."

"She's in our agency, so maybe the computer didn't like DCIS," Speed said dryly.

The manager looked at him.  "It's entirely possible it did kick out all the entries in a certain range, but it got another person about an hour ago from the a lab listed as DC Federal DNA lab."

"So it kicked it out alphabetically.  That happens," Ryan said, looking at his key.  "Am in a double?"  The woman nodded.  "If I have to, one of you guys can have my other bed as long as you don't make a mess."

Speed nodded.  "Me too, guys."

The manager smiled.  "That might be helpful.  Most of our rooms are in use due to the conference."

"I saw the damage," Tony admitted.  "Our last case locally?" he asked Ryan, who shook his head.

"No, our last case was down toward the stockyards."

"I'm afraid it was some local college boys with mini rockets that they were running by remote," the clerk told them.

"Ah.  Gotta love the geeks," Speed said with a smirk.  "We're their smarter, older brothers."

She smiled.  "Definitely smarter than them.  They did it while drunk and the FBI was already watching them from the news reports."

Tony snickered.  "Yeah, that's dumb."   The manager managed to find the glitch and called someone who was speaking about computer issues to ask them to look it over.  They got it fixed and they had enough rooms for everyone but Danny.  Who decided to share with Don since they were buddies.  "Have a nice night.  Our conference packets?"

"Mr. Grendal left word he's is in the happy viewing suite tonight.  That's up on five."

"Thank you," Ryan said with a grin.  They headed up, sharing the elevator with the computer tech.  "Hacker?"

"Yup.  Hates you guys apparently.  It locked out any mention of DCIS."  He looked at Tony.  "How are you enjoying it?"

"The cases are freaky but we spend a lot of time stopping things before someone dies.  It's a nice change and the girls are great to hang out with."

"Good to know.  I saw Abby earlier.  She's shacked up on Gibbs' and McGee's pull-out couch."  He got off on his floor.  They went to the fifth floor while he made notes of what he had seen.  Some hackers just had no sense.  Hacking a hotel where a CSI convention was?  Stupid idiots.

Tony walked in the open door of the suite, looking at all the happy people.  "Are we watching that stupid show that makes us all look like Gods With Guts, Guns, and GCMS's again?" he asked.  Abby squealed and pounced, knocking him down.  "You saw me yesterday, Abby."

"You're late."

"The case in LA took longer than we wanted.  A minor earthquake stuck us in a storage area with a demon giving birth."  He patted her.  "Can I get up?"  She grinned as she scrambled off him with Ryan's help, helping pull him up.  "Thanks.  Speaking of gremlins and babies.  Grendal, can we check in?"

"Clipboard's on the table by Speedle," he said, then he did a double-take.  "How in the hell?" he demanded.

Speed shrugged.  "It's a Xander Harris thing.  Long story.  Ask H or Ryan."  He smirked and signed in, taking his packet.  He handed out the others with their name tags on the front then waved.  "Later, guys.  Going to bed.  Had a case earlier."  They headed out and Abby came with them, going to switch to Tony's room since he had a double and didn't have to share.  He could even help her set up her displays.  Gibbs wasn't happy but he helped her move things since Tony was on the same floor.  Speed leaned out of his room at a familiar voice.  "The hotel's bar got any decent food?" he asked her.  "I'm starved.  They had to watch a demon momma give birth earlier so I got stranded at the airport waiting on them."

"Not really but there's a nice place around the corner that's not that expensive," Calleigh said, giving him a hug.  "It's good to see you again."

"You should've taken the offer.  Then you could live up the hall from me," he quipped.  "Plus be a big sister to all the slayers."  He pulled back in to put back on his sneakers and came out with her and his key in hand.  "Okay, let's go eat.  I'm starved."

"Was it an important birth?"

"Small earthquake while they had stopped to talk to Cordette with Tony.  She's a very young slayer.  One of their neighbors went into labor, her husband came rushing up the street to get Alan, who he knew was home, to get an ambulance since his phone was dead.  Then they had the minor earthquake that sank in their living room and nearly trapped everyone for five hours.  So they got to deliver the baby."  She laughed.  "It's a bit nasty but healthy.  Tiny baby slime demon actually.  Cordette cooed over it."

"She's how old?"

"She's eight."

"Awww."

"That's what she said," he teased.  He winked as they walked behind Eric and out of the hotel, him hearing someone tracking them.  "You're buying your own dinner."

"You don't pay for anything on base," Horatio reminded him.

Speed stopped and grinned back at him.  "Gotta save it to retire somewhere warm, sunny, and with bikinis.  If I save enough then I can have a string of hotties in bikinis until I'm an old man."

"That's a sad fate that should be left for Eric," Horatio taunted.  He gave him a hug.  "It's good to see you again."

"And look, Ma, no handcuffs," he taunted, patting him on the back while Calleigh giggled.  He pulled back.  "I'm starving so we're going to eat."

"I can nibble."  He texted Eric to let him know Speed was in and where they were going.  He'd join them after he quit hitting on one of the LAPD lab techs.  They settled into a booth and watched Speed eat dinner while they nibbled on little things.  "So."

"They had to help deliver a baby slime demon earlier.  The earthquake in LA got us.  I got to wait at the airport and wasn't about to pay five bucks for a mass produced cheeseburger."

"I'm sorry."

"It's healthy and the local girls out there were all cooing over it.  Connor was confused why, but he's like that."  Eric slid in next to him.  "There's already two on this side, sit with H," he complained, giving him a nudge with his elbow.  "I haven't had dinner yet and I inherited Xander's appetite when I got sneezed out of him."

"I can't believe that's how you got brought back," Eric complained, sitting next to Horatio instead.  "Long case?"

"Earthquake.  We were helping a woman in labor until the paramedics got there.  Then the earthquake hit.  Not too bad.  Five something I think they said.  She had weak floors and it started to cave the house while she was in hard, end stage labor."  Calleigh giggled.  "It's a beautiful little one but I didn't want to know how babies came out in that sort of detail.  Did get to see Wolfe go into super fussing mode on the video Tony took.  Figured out what Tony learned from Gibbs about emergencies and camping.  His first act was to start to call their ME."  Horatio smiled at that.  "Ducky did end up giving us a lot of advice on what we were doing. Including to watch for the antlers if they were present."

"They have antlers?" Eric asked, looking confused.  Speed took out his phone and looked up the picture Ryan had taken earlier to show him, showing it to him.  "They do have antlers.  It's a cute little baby."

"Yes she is."  He ate a bite of his burger.  "How has Miami been since that team case?"

"Much quieter," Horatio assured him.  "They said your team was coming."

"We were stuck in negotiations in Maine.  Sorry, H.  Tony only had court and the team in Minnesota got done first.  Though Jackson is hiring another team at the end of next month."

"That much work?"

"Most of the time," Speed admitted.  "Now and then we get slow weeks.  Besides, it'll give the girls someone new to pick on.  It's bad enough Dawn brought in some alien sex toy one night to embarrass the doctors by asking what it was for at dinner."

Horatio choked.  "Excuse me?"

Speed smirked.  "He's a lot like an older brother.  Snarky, smart, a bit mean.  She was getting him back."

"I see.  You have your own medical facility?"

"Yeah.  We can do brain surgery if we have to.  So far we've only had to put insides back in and stitch them up a few times and then do some casts."  He ate another bite of his burger.  "Many homicides?"

"Not this week.  The tourists are gone for the start of school and the locals are recovering from their summer vacations," Calleigh told him.

"Ah, yes.  The month where we got our paperwork done on time."  Horatio laughed at that nickname.  "It was."

"It was the only time all the paperwork got done on time without overtime.  Did Mr. Harris come?"

"He's not too sure what forensics is, H.  He's a good investigator, and he's good at questioning things or handling things if they have to be, but he's not an evidence person.  Like I'm hearing Gibbs is more than one of us."

Horatio nodded.  "He seemed very action oriented when he came to handle our situation.  Especially with the artillery he brought."

"Necessary," Eric reminded him.

"Yes, I do remember having to buy a new suit thanks to the goo I got sprayed with," Horatio told him.  Speed smirked.  "It was nasty.  Not even my dry cleaner could fix that."

"I've had to have a few new shirts since I started to work with them," Speed admitted.  "I had one where the victim puked on me.  Didn't make me happy when it started to burn."  He finished up then sipped his soda.  "Are you guys going to see what we've helped Abby come up with?"  They all nodded.  "That's cool.  We've been doing some amazing things in our lab.  Plus our current docs like to do research too so they've been helping.  Abby even found a nice formula to help George grow a few inches," he said with a grin at Horatio.

"Your little walking shrub?" he asked.  Speed nodded.  "He seemed nice."

"He's very protective of the girls.  Tried to go to school with them their first day.  He was limp branched until they came back and Annabelle and the younger girls settled in to play with him."

"We were told he was protective when we came out," Horatio agreed with a small smile.  "Any other new news from out there?"

"I wrote Alexx when I got the brownies."

"I heard.  Then that the girls tried to steal them.  That you had to spank."

"Repeatedly," Speed agreed dryly.  "Xander had to help me lock them up from the girls."  Calleigh laughed.  "You'd be amazed but all those girls eat like a herd of teenage boys at every single meal.  We eat and then let them have whatever's left.  The last time we had leftovers in the caf, it was liver night.  Even deer meat night didn't have leftovers and the girls looked grossed out at that."

Horatio chuckled.  "The ones who came to Miami did the same thing."

"How did you like Faith?"

"She was very blunt.  She seemed very concerned about the younger girls.  She had a good head for being in charge of them now and then.  She and the others all listened very well to the agents and Xander.  Especially him."

"He's a watcher too."

"Ah.  That's why."  He nodded.  "They did good while they were in Miami.  They even took down a slight vampire menace we had been building.  They got some hunting done in some of the clubs.  Faith had a bit of a mouth on her but Brenda swatted her repeatedly for it and got dirty looks back for the swatting."

"Brenda's like John's daughter some days," Speed admitted, leaning on the table.  The waitress came over and he got them a new round of drinks and Eric some coffee.  She brought them and the check then left.  He smiled.  "John's taken a very firm hand with Brenda's training because she'll be taking over training the future girls and some other hunters some year soon."

"She said he helped her get better educationally."

"We all want to beat the crap out of the old watchers, H.  Hers didn't let her go to school hardly ever.  She's doing good now though.  He's helped her a lot and the other girls do too.  Xander too."

"That's good to know," he agreed, watching someone eavesdrop.  He tapped the table then pointed.  Speed looked and sneered, getting up.  "Speed," he whispered.

Speed shook his head, walking over to him.  "Sir, DCIS."  The man gaped.  "You are?  Since you were listening to our private conversation about cases?"

He stared at him.  "Um...  I'm one of the old Council."

"I see.  I thought so.  Rupert's in Cleveland with a few of the girls.  We've got the younger set on base with us with Wesley and Xander.  The girls in LA are working with the establishment out there.  Need directions?"

"Some were that bad?"

"Most were that bad."

"Oh, dear."  He stood up.  "I'm from the Antigua branch.  I know of a few others in the research areas that hid down there."

"Call Rupert.  He's the technical head of the Slayers Council, especially over research."  That got a beam and a nod.  "Wes handles the practical matters and we have all the trainers, including Xander."

"That's wonderful.  The books?  I know the main library got blown up by the Bringers."

"We've found some.  We have Rupert's books on the base for the combined usage of DCIS and the girls."

"Oh, dear.  Girls?  Still two?"

"More like fifty-eight," Speed told him.  "Willow's thing in Sunnydale to defeat the First Evil."

"Oh, blast," he said, turning pale and getting a bit wobbly.  "Are there others of us around?"

"They tried to fix that number by explosives."

He shuddered.  "Not all of us were like that."

"Good to know."  He wrote out a number.  "That's Caridad's cell in Cleveland.  She's in watcher training and one of the senior girls there with Buffy and Faith.  This is Wes's number on base."  He handed it over once Wes's number was down.  "Call one of them."

"I shall tonight.  Thank you.  We've only heard rumors about your agency."

Speed smirked.  "We've been handling things.  Including the invasion."

"Ah, that I saw.  Good work, chap."  He left, going to call Wesley first.  He knew him personally and Rupert was apparently having issues from the way the young man talked about him.  "They tried to blow the girls up?" he asked in greeting.  "Yes, Wesley, this is Henry.  I was hiding in Antigua.  There's a few others of us down there.  News never reaches us down there.  It took us three years to hear Travers had taken over way back when.  Now, what happened?"  He listened while Wesley told him everything.  "Oh, dear."  He frowned.  "Let me call the others.  Where do you want us?"  He smiled.

"That would be an excellent help, yes.  Actually, Philip and Mercer both survived as far as I know.  I talked to Mercer last month.  He married a pretty native girl and stuffed her up."  He smiled.  "Of course.  I'll see you soon.  What's the situation with Rupert?  He's in charge?"  Wesley said a few more things and he shuddered.  "At least Harris held it together and got things started.  Now we can plan for the future.  The name change?"  He smiled at the reason.  "I know why.  Speedle.  I had heard rumors about DCIS and I heard one of them was to be up here for some conference; I was hoping to run into that one.  Ran into one getting a spot of tea when he complained about the old goats who had the girls.  Thank you.  I'll be there in a few days.  Of course.  Let him know and we'll talk when we appear."  He hung up and made another call.  "Philip, lad, it's Henry."  He smiled.

"I have met with one of them.  Rupert Giles is in charge!"  He heard the swearing on that end.  "No, it does get better.  That DCIS place we've heard rumors of?  They've got all the younger girls that Rosenburg called by accident to battle the First Evil."  That got some more swearing.  "Wesley Wyndham-Pryce is out on their base with them.  Rupert's in Cleveland with Buffy and a few others.  Wesley said to show up on their base in North Dakota.  Yes, that one.  They have the majority of the library right now.  Plus whatever they managed to scrounge during the probates probably.  So we do have a job cut out for us.  Wesley said DCIS is borrowing the collection and wanted it put into English for their personal use when Rupert got somewhere set up.  So that's a good thing for Thomas.

"Plans have been going on.  Wesley said he and Xander Harris, the little smug asshole that worked with Summers in Sunnydale, had been holding it together and they changed the name to the International Slayers Council.  Yes, to keep people like Travers from getting too big of themselves," he agreed at one man's comment.  "I don't know.  We might be able to contract with the new Council or possibly that agency.  We'll have to see.  Wesley said he'd meet with us in a few days.

"Oh, there was a sight issue.  Some of the girls were not being treated well.  I overheard Speedle say that one girl hadn't had any education at all.  Another issue is that a lot of the old goats that were left apparently tried to cure the issue of having fifty-eight slayers with explosives so they're going to be wary.  I wouldn't bring weapons right off.  That's fine then.  We can arrange that.  I'll look up the base tonight and send you all an email about where it is and how to get there.  He said there's a small town around it and an airfield about two hours away in a more major city.  Yes, do pack and get up here.  Good chaps, see you then."  He hung up and got to work on the things they'd need to move the rest of them to North Dakota.  Rupert sounded even dicier now that he had heard from his former Latin tutor.

***

Speed sat down in his former seat and called the base.  "Jackson, Speedle.  I just got found by a former watcher.  Yes, from the old council.  No, not an emergency.  Wesley was right, there's some still in hiding.  They've got his number so they can call him.  They did say they were mostly research watchers.  He did look horrified that the field people tried that stuff.  So fair warning, might have a bunch of book geeks coming.  Sure.  Let us know if we're not back by then."  He hung up and grinned at his friends.  "That's actually good news but we're going to be wary since some of the others tried to blow the girls up."

"Why?" Calleigh asked.

"There should only be one.  There will be when Cordette ages out at twenty-three."

"Wow.  If she's eight...."

"Damn long reign," he agreed.  "But not her fault or her choice.  She'll get two years of handling it by herself when the girl before her ages out."  He took a drink of his soda.  "Maybe they'll spank Rupert too.  He's been an ass to the girls."  He sipped his soda, paying the check.  "I'm alone in my room if you guys wanted to help me relax.  By now, Tony's called the base, gotten a 'it's all good out here' and is out hitting on the women so my next-door-neighbor won't mind."  They smiled and paid for their own orders before heading back with him.  Within an hour he had Calleigh and Eric rolling about some of his stranger cases and how it had been solved.  The fact one had been solved with a pint of Ben Jerry's plus a tub of vaseline even made Horatio giggle.

***

Abby finished setting up and looked at the people starting to gather for her talk.  It was early for her but that was okay.  She had caffeine and it was all right in her world.  She smiled.  "I'm hoping we don't have to cram you guys in too deeply but I have promised to give a second lecture if we need me to."  She went back to twitch her last sign into place then turned to beam at them.

"Yes, I know, they're smaller than the back can read.  I have them on projector too.  This is for my physical pointing at."  That got a few smiles and people she knew were coming in too.  She was incredibly nervous.  She had never given this sort of talk before.  She saw Ryan, Speed, and Tony in the front row, beaming at them.  She cleared her throat and checked her watch.  "We might need a second section after all," she said.  "Hi, excuse me if I stutter or get lost.  This is my first *major* speech."

That got a few smiles.  "If you don't know already, I'm Abby.  Formerly with Gibbs at NCIS, now I'm the head of the labs and RD at DCIS.  Big change even if you don't count the letter values."  That got a few laughs from her guys and she tried to relax.  She looked around then shook herself and turned on her projector.  Which didn't want to work with her laptop.  Ryan came forward to help.  "Thank you, Ryan.  One of my wonderful lab helpers, Ryan Wolfe, formerly of Miami-Dade.  For those of you who don't know, DCIS is Demon Criminal Investigative Services."

A few people sighed.  "We didn't see the invasion on tv?  I'm told it even reached the International Space Station."  The main sigher sat up straighter at that.  "Unfortunately we're the people who have to deal with it when there's a problem.  So we had to look at all the forensic tests we can use and see what would work for us.  We also had to look at some of the medical stuff to see what might not work there too.  As it turns out, we had a lot of stuff that wouldn't work for us.   We had to invent new tests, new charts for lab identification, all that."

She flipped her slide.  "This is a general list of where we're going today.  As you can see I've gotten four identification charts based on forensic values in tests that we already have, another seven new tests, two only work on certain species but I'm working on adapting those, and a neat new slime index so we can test it that way if that's what they're leaving."  She beamed and flipped the slide, then pointed at her model.  Tony used a laser pointer on her bigger one.  "I wasn't sure how to do that.  Tony DiNozzo, another of our people who helped me tons."

She took it and pointed at her bigger projection chart.  "The first thing we learned is that not all demons read with the same sort of DNA.  It was a basic assumption we had to start with.  Some have very complex DNA.  Some of the oldest species actually have multiple helixes twisted together."  That got a few moans.  "I've worked with a DNA god in Las Vegas in how to break those down.  He's got instructions on the webpage if you haven't found them.  If we want, I can go over those in detail and every other test, but we'll be here all weekend."

"Go ahead and skim," Speed said.  "We made sure you had the packets, right?"  She nodded, patting the stack.  "Then they can read along if they want."  He grabbed them and started to pass them around by handing one guy in a row the stack.

"Thank you, Speed."  Everyone stared at him.  He had been one of those they had a moment of silence for a few years back.  "We have wacky things like that happen at DCIS," Abby assured them cheerfully.  "And worse.  He's kinda tame compared to some things."  She moved on, going over the various DNA configurations on that short index chart.  Then she moved on through each one and each new test, how to code the machines to run them, and how to tell when you needed to, instead of when you wanted to.  She ended up with her favorite, the slime index.  Which was fun to test and play with.  They had slime fights in the lab in the past.  Thankfully Annabelle was a goddess of the laundry already.  At the end she took questions, running well over her allotted time.  Oh well, the other CSI needed and wanted to know.  At the end she was wrung out and it was well past lunch time.  Gibbs brought her a soda and she squealed, hugging him.  "Thank you."

"You did a great job," McGee said, handing her a candy bar to go with it.  "You're obviously hungry," he teased.

"I'm more thirsty.  I haven't talked that long in a long time."  Someone peeked in the door.  "Give me ten to take down my stuff."

"No, leave it up," he ordered.  "You might have to give another one later on, Miss Scuito.  Please?  We moved the other two things that should have been in here."

"Sure if necessary.  I kinda like to teach."  She beamed.  They left and went to talk to the organizers, who wanted to hold a second one with all the requests they had already gotten.  "So," she said, swinging her feet.  Horatio came back.  "More questions?"

"Speed went....?"

"Probably to take a nap.  He set his work hours as ten to whenever he got done instead of nine."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Eric did get him up at seven."

"The last time the girls did that he growled."

"I'm sure he did at Eric as well.  Good job, Abby.  That last special use test you said you hadn't finished working on yet?"

"It only works on three out of every five samples so I didn't want to announce it just in case.  One where you have to run it five times and average isn't really useful or cost efficient.  We're still working on it."

"Can we code the machines to do these tests automatically?"

She took a slurp.  "You probably could.  I have but how many cases are you going to need it on?  Doing my machines took about two weeks to get them all in since we started.  It takes about a day or so to code each new test, calibrate it, then do any fixing you need to do."

"True, but I'd rather have my people need to only hit a button to run it."

"Then that's your thing," she promised with a grin.  "Your people's eyesight staring at the little screen."  He smiled and nodded.  "We don't have proprietary information in this area.  Doctor Jackson was very clear: I'm to find whatever I need to find and as long as it's not on a classified case, it can be handed out if it helps others.  Some of our RD stuff can't be but the lab tests can be."

"That's good news," Gibbs agreed.  "Think you could program your old machines?"  She dug out a CD and handed it to him with a smile.  "Heard he was an idiot?"

"Yup.  He was pouty and slow from what I got told."  She took another slurp and Mac Taylor walked in.  "We're still here."

"Gibbs, can I copy that CD?" Horatio asked.

"I don't care," Abby told him.  He smiled and took it to have it copied a few times.  "That doesn't include the GCMS beta test," she called after him.  "Or the one I mentioned before it."

"I took notes," he promised.

Mac came in and shook her hand.  "You've done a lot of work.  You deserve that award they nominated you for."  She beamed at that, kicking her feet.  "Anything more speculative coming out of the labs?"

"Some RD stuff but I have to get special permission to give any of that out.  Doctor Jackson used to be on a classified military project."  Gibbs moaned.  "Did you meet Jack?" she teased.

"Once.  That's all it took."

"We had a plagiarizing agent and Daniel said if he kept bothering him and kept up his bad behavior, he was going to put Jack on as his assistant."  Gibbs shuddered.  "Yeah, he ended up stomping off.  The girls very nicely helped him pack.  They hadn't even panty raided him so that was nice of them."  Mac spluttered.  "The slayers on base are teenagers.  Some of them went on some very bad panty raids.  Xander had to confiscate all his back.  Dean too."  She beamed.  "We're kinda insane most days but we're having a lot of fun too."

"I can tell.  Did Danny help?"

"Yup.  When he could.  Danny's team does a lot of diplomatic work.  Don is blunt and Danny's smooth so it works well.  They send Xander on the worst things and Tony's team on anything else.  We're getting another one soon."

"What happens if something diplomatic goes sour?" Gibbs asked.

"They can handle it.  They've got three other people on their team.   Slayers are on call if it goes that south.  So's Xander."

"Wow," Mac said.  "How dangerous is it?"

"Ask them.  I'm hardly out of the lab these days.  Unless the girls need girl talks.  Then I do a lot of that too.  I'm a good big sister to them."  She grinned at Gibbs.  "They heard what Horatio tried to do to keep Ryan and Timmy.  They said if you tried that with me and Tony, you'd have a very special invasion of girls with very strong muscles and 'tudes because they're all about to need new pill packs."  She took another sip.

"I'd never kidnap you, Abby.  Just ask you to come back."

"You could come out."

"I like DC."

"We could use you.  Even if Speed did find a lot of research watchers, we could still use field watchers to help the girls.  There's not enough of those."

"We'll see."  He patted her on the knee.  "Flack was heading for weapons and armaments from what he said as he and Messer walked out, Taylor."

"I checked, they're in there."

"They came in very handy in Miami," Horatio said as he came back in with a stack of CD's.  He handed them to Mac and Gibbs, keeping one for himself and the rest got set beside Abby.  "I had no idea we'd need artillery in storage.  Will we need it more often?"

"No, probably not.  The next ascension we know is going to happen is in DC next week.  They can only happen during eclipses."

"I'll keep that in mind.  Should we report to you if we get a growing vampire problem?"

"Slayer's Council."  She took his sheets and wrote a number on the back.  "That is Caridad's cellphone in Cleveland.  She's training to be a field watcher and she's one of the older girls.  She's one of the few that's graduated.  So you can tell her and they'll update things and possibly send a girl your way if you need it.  We're for cases, they're for vampires."

"That'll work," Mac agreed, writing down that number as well.  He unclicked his pen and put it into his pocket.  "Thank you, Abby.  We've had a few anomalous results with some demon samples, now I know why."

She beamed.  "I'm always working on it and our Docs have found a few things too.  Including some new poisons and things.  They'll be presenting theirs somehow.  Maybe a book.  Not sure."  She smiled.  "Danny's been pouting for the last two days.  The girls quit hitting on him."

"I'll talk with him after their current lecture."  He shook her hand and walked out with Horatio to get a quick bite to eat.

Gibbs gave her a gentle hug.  "Good job."  She beamed.  "What else are you here to look at?"

"Um...  The RD panel.  I wanted to see the new machines."  She checked her watch.  "And of course it's half over so I'll have to go tomorrow instead."  She shrugged. "I'll go bug them later."

"Go bug them now, you can sit in the back and they shouldn't mind," Gibbs told her.  She picked up her briefcase, putting the rest of the CD's into it, walking out with him.  McGee followed, letting her smile at him too.  Abby clearly overworked herself.  "How many people do you have in your lab?"

"The CSI all come to run their own tests with my help.  I've got three main RD people with me and two more who show up every few months as their military job allows.  They're super brains in physics so they help me with some of that area.  One of them came up with the identification index idea.  I gave him full credit in the stuff."  She sipped her soda before slipping into that room, frowning.  "Everyone left?"  They jumped and looked at her.  "Hi, Abby Scuito, DCIS."

"You've found new things to do with our machines," one said happily.

"I so have."  She came over to go over what she had given the others earlier, in a more condensed form.  "I even copied the coding I used for my old boss but a few others copied off his copy."  They ran it, going over it in detail to see what she was bending their machines to do.  Half the new machines couldn't do these things so it'd be something to think about for their first update.

***

Gibbs sat down at the table with Horatio and Mac.  "How are you going to do it this time?  I need to make sure I don't get invaded by the girls."

Mac smiled.  "I'm sure they'll relent if you get Abby to tell them to."

"Probably not.  They're all very stubborn girls.  Very strong, stubborn girls."

Horatio nodded.  "Very strong.  I saw one of them take a car door off by ripping hard."  Mac gaped.  "She had to, it had been an accident and someone was trapped."  He ate a bite of his salad.  "If they do come, they all listen to Harris."

"Harris makes every single agent in DC jumpy and nervous," Gibbs told him.  "Has since before he helped jump that one demon at the swearing in."  Mac shuddered.  "She had an invisibility feature.  They want Abby to make that work for us and she can't yet.  Or she hasn't gotten to it yet.  She's been working on restraints the last time I heard."

"Who is the McKay person she credited on the tables?" Mac asked.

"He's a physicist that shows up every now and then.  Him and the S. Carter mentioned on one form as a contributor."

"Good to know," Horatio said.  "The military is helping?"

"No, now and then Jackson asks some of his former coworkers to show up and those two are major physics people from what little she's said about them," Gibbs admitted.  "S. Carter is actually Samantha.  Goes by Sam."

"That explains a bit more of the contributors section," Mac decided.  "How many more people do they need?"

"DiNozzo said about another team last night.  Abby seems to think so too.  I know they had to expand the prison a bit recently."  They stared.  "It's under the base.  With the clan war in Miami they demanded to be kept in clans but apart from the others.  Abby said they checked and heard it would be cruel in most cases to keep them from their clans so they're in clan modules.  Carefully kept apart from the other clans."

"That's probably a good idea.  Bars?" Horatio asked.  "They'd have to be phenomenally strong."

"Force field of some sort.  No idea.  I haven't toured, only seen a portable one," Gibbs admitted.  "I know they have alarms and all sorts of stuff on that section.  It's under the back of the base too.  They do some strange stuff out there."

"It probably comes in handy," Mac agreed lightly.  He looked around.  "Do you think any of them want to transfer back?"

"I looked at the standard contract Ryan got given.  They can transfer back after two years of service without giving a reason.  Before then they have to give a reason," Horatio admitted.  "So technically all ours could be coming home if we presented it correctly."  He sipped his water.  Mac ate more of his lunch.  He looked at Gibbs.  "You can eat with us."

"I had a burger on the way over.  Thanks anyway."  He smirked.  "You think they'll come back as regional liaisons?  I heard Las Vegas has one of those."

"They'd be more than welcome to do so," Horatio assured him.  "We have one in patrol.  Our commissioner thinks she's not high enough up for others to listen to.  They do know since she's the one who called DCIS about the war when things started and they ignored her.  I backed her up when he tried to put her down for it.  That lasted until the point when they needed to pull out artillery in my city.  Twice."  Mac shuddered.  "Yours too?"

"I met Harris.  His old team came to bust a demon selling arms.  The artillery probably came from that bust.  Then I helped him and Wolfe get most of their team fired since they shot some of them who didn't hold any tactical advantage to keep while Harris and Wolfe were doing a weapons and money count in some strange little portal thing that was on a sheet."

"They had that in Miami inside a large suitcase," Horatio admitted.  Mac smiled. "It scared me.  They brought a lot of artillery to my city.  They apparently thought they might need it.  They came in with Harris' team, three slayers, and the bag."

"Were they right?" Gibbs asked.

Horatio nodded.  "They were and Harris has some very good hunches.  He had the feeling the demons were going to get them back for trying to stop it.  Had me called so I could help his people be moved.  A few hours later they burned the motel they had been staying in. The slayers arrested them and had them picked up by Dawn immediately."

"Their pilot?" Mac asked.

"No, she opens this glowing portal that lets her walk through," Gibbs said with a point.  "That's... Buffy?"

Horatio looked.  "Not one I'm familiar with but the one behind her is Faith.  Excuse me for a minute, gentlemen."  He walked outside.  "That is a bad place to do that, ladies."  Faith jumped.  "It's in the open."

"She tried it in the alley but it's mystically protected.  It's as close as she could bring us to here."  She looked at him and sighed.  "One of your people made a deal we heard about, Red."  He shuddered.  "Massively bad.  B's here to help since one of us has to go handle the major demon."

"How high?"

"High enough to not stink," Faith told him.  "We're talking Wolfram and Hart high."  He moaned.  "So, whichever you want."

"You worked well in Miami, Faith.  I'll work with you.  No offense, Buffy."

"No, none taken," she assured him with a smile.  "I've got to work with the girls anyway.  The senior slayer should be doing that."

"We found a few research watchers last night," Horatio offered. "Timothy Speedle ran into one."  She beamed at him and hugged him then disappeared back through the portal.  "We're having lunch.  Want a salad?"

"Rabbit food?  Don't you do too much every day to survive on teenage girl food, Red?"  She walked him back inside, smirking at someone and waving.  "Hey, Danny."  Mac looked then took his lunch over there to talk to his friends.  She sat down.  "Hey," she said to Gibbs.

"Faith, this is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, he used to be Tony and Abby's boss.  Gibbs, this is Faith, the second senior slayer."

"Pleasure," he said, shaking her hand.  "Checking on the agents?"

"Nah.  One of Red's lab made a deal with Satan's butt scrubber."  Horatio shuddered at that description.  "We think they're going to cause some major problems so I'm working on that.  I'm here to brief him then I'm headed south."

"Who?" Horatio asked.  She pulled an envelope out of her back pocket and handed it to him.  He read it while he finished his lunch, mentally swearing.  "Let me warn some people first, Faith.  There might not be a need."  She beamed at that.  "Trust me?"

"So far.  You're one of those guys who hasn't tried anything, tried to cop a feel, or even tried to appear more all knowing than X is.  He's picking up bad Wes habits."

Horatio nodded.  "He has to so the younger girls don't feel as insecure."

"Never thought of it that way.  All I know is it's annoying as crap."

"It can be," Gibbs agreed.  "Does he backstep when he's proven wrong?"

"Oh, yeah, if we prove it to him he backs up and all that.  He's good about that, but he'll go all knowing sometimes to piss us off."

"That's probably to keep the younger ones in line," Gibbs told her.  "I do it to DiNozzo and McGee because it makes them work harder if they're sure we're moving in the right direction."

She smiled and punched him on the arm.  "You're not so bad either, Gibbs.  Have a beer later?"

"We'll see."

She smiled and nodded.  "That'll work."  She looked at Horatio.  "I'm under orders to not get into trouble for a bit.  Where should I show up?"

"The hotel up the street is where we're holding the conference.  How about you show up about eight tonight?  By then I should know something."

"Good deal.  Let me hightail it somewhere less classy before the waiters give me another dirty and evil look for wearing jeans."  She stood up and headed out into the sunshine.  It wasn't greatly warm but it was bright.  Bright was nice when you worked all night.

Horatio looked at the message again.  "I need to cut this short."   He paid the check and left a tip.  "I'll see you later, Gibbs."

"Tell me if you need help."

"I will."  He headed back to the hotel to make a few calls.  He ran into Calleigh, letting her have the papers.  She muttered out a swear in Creole French.  "Exactly."

She looked up at him.  "Where are we starting?"

"Faith brought that."

"So we'll have Faith?"

"First, let's start with Stetler.  See if he can actually do anything."  She smirked at the evilness of that idea.  "He needs to earn his paychecks like we do."  He went to call him from his room.  "Rick, Horatio.  I just got information from a slayer that one of the people in my lab has made a dark deal to cause mayhem within the department.  I can fax you what I have.  We have the offer of one of the girls coming down to deal with the demon who made it."  He used the in-room fax to send it to him.  "It's sent."  He listened to him read it.

"I'll be back very late Sunday night.  Faith is on her way down if we need her to.  Yes, the brunette, mouthy one, Rick.  She's one of the senior girls.  I know that, Rick.  I did a background check on her and the others.  She's atoned and she's a very nice young woman who could use some strong guidance to stay straight.  Personally, it looked more like an accident while hunting to me, Rick.  I don't know.  I know she's paid her debt and it doesn't matter to me.  She's a nice young lady with a horrible job to do.  Now, do you want to handle this or do you want me to handle this on Sunday night?"  He listened to him say he'd do it.

"I'll be updating Faith tonight around eight, local time.  Let me know what you have."  He hung up and laid down to consider a few other things.  He called someone else.  "Frank, I need you to get a message to Alexx and the other quiet people in the lab.  One of my techs has made a deal with a very high demon to cause mayhem for an unspecified reward.  They didn't know.  Faith is coming down to help us if necessary.  Rick Stetler is also in the know as of a few minutes ago.  Exactly.  Yes, that one.  So tell Alexx to keep away from her.  She's very uncomfortable about demons.  Thank you, Frank."  He hung up and relaxed.  It was the most he could do since he was over a thousand miles from Miami.

***

Xander looked up, frowning when he saw the military guy in Air Force blues.  "If you're looking for the boss, he's hunting coffee in the caf since I forgot to buy more for in here," he told him, going back to his typing.

"I'm looking for you as well, Mr. Harris."

"Already signed up for a longer tour of duty than you guys offer," he quipped.

"I heard.  I'm Major Paul Davis.  Doctor Jackson turned over a certain treaty for me to look over and help him negotiate."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "We've gotten it down to a small temple and you don't have to show up often but if you're bored and need another vacation you can do that.  They'll even provide you a way to get there since they know you're only a demigod, not a full one with powers."

Xander blushed.  "Uh-huh."  He looked at his uniform.  Clearly not a rental and it was spotless, plus pressed and had all his ribbons in order.  "Damn it."

Davis smirked.  "I heard that quite a lot from General O'Neill."

"Danny said I could be like his son some days," he quipped.  "Hey, boss?  They want me to go consecrate their temple," he called.  He heard someone spluttering and Chase came in.  "From my vacation House sent me on.  To them I'm a God of Lust."

"To us you're just fun," Chase promised, patting him on the back.  "Daniel's getting his allergy pills from House and being nagged about something."

"Why?"

"He's a bit bored so he's turned to nagging.  I'm almost ready to call our coworkers and friends out so they can bug him for a bit."  He smiled at the military man standing beside the desk.  "Hello, Robert Chase."

"Major Paul Davis."  He shook his hand.  "One of the doctors, right?"  Chase smiled and nodded.  "At least you keep the injuries down."

"We do try," House said as he walked in.  "Do not even *think* about telling Cuddy to come out here," he ordered. "That would end up like a local apocalypse when the girls used her for target practice and then one of us would have to take over her office."

Chase smirked.  "I wouldn't do that to myself, House.   Wilson could use a vacation though."

"Remember to give the standard warning about the girls," Danny quipped, smiling at his old friend.  "Paul.  Get it worked out?"

"Xander doesn't have to go to the temple consecration but he's more than welcome to.  They'll help him get there since they know he's a demigod instead of a full one.  He's waiting for his power to come on-line.  He has to kill so many more demons before they fully come into being.  It's a challenge set to him to become a full one."

"I see.  When does he have to go...consecrate his temple?"

"This weekend."  He held up an envelope.  "This will get him there and back."

"Can I bring someone with me?" Xander asked.

"Bring condoms with you," House snorted.  "So you don't come back with the UTI you got last time, Harris."

Xander gave him a look.  "It probably wasn't any of the ones I slept with there.  It was probably one of the working girls I hired."

Chase went bright red.  "What happened to dating?"

"He dates worse than Wilson does," House reminded him.

"Your friend Wilson dates evil women who want to destroy the world too?" Xander asked, looking totally serious.  "Danny, remind me I can't move to New Jersey?  Two of us in one location would be too tempting and they'd have an invasion of bad girls or something."

"Of course, Xander.  Or onto my old project.  You might take over a planet and then we'd have problems if they were the Amazons."  Davis gave him a horrified look.  "Apparently there's a demon underground and they knew.  They told him already.  He's even met Jack and driven him nuts.  I told Jack if he tried to bring me back to the base I was bringing Xander and Tony to recruit for here.  He said he didn't want to see them after Xander got done with them."

"I'd be nice and let them beg me for mercy," Xander said with a scowl.  "It's bad enough half the demons think I'm going to kill them.  Don't make the other residents of this universe scared of me too.  I'm already a warning story on eighteen demon planes."

House shook his head quickly.  "They should've warned us."

Xander beamed at him.  "I'm not trying to date you or Chase, House."

House looked up.  "I don't often say it, but thank you for small favors."

"I could even let Dawn have the other trunk of stuff Anya sent."

House glared at him.  "That's mean."

"Well, yeah," he admitted with a grin.  "Then you could explain their use to more of the girls."

"Um, trunk?" Danny asked.

"My ex Anya packed a trunk of her stuff to go with mine and all the books I got out of Sunnydale," Xander told him, getting a slow nod.

"His ex Anya was also a nympho," Chase said.

"Who used to be an eleven-hundred-and-something-year-old vengeance demon until she got fired," House finished.  "He let Dawn have this really strange one with a corkscrew tip that was as wide as my ankle.  She asked me at dinner how anyone would use it since Anya wanted it for anal sex."

"I'm so glad I was on vacation then," Daniel sighed, heading for his office.  "Xander," he called a minute later when he wasn't followed.

"Let me pack," Xander called, heading to do that once his current report was saved.  He packed a backpack, he changed into jeans and a t-shirt plus his new leather bomber jacket, he grabbed his favorite battle axe and daggers from the armory, getting an odd look.  "The demon plane I took the vacation to wants me to come consecrate my temple."

Benny Ray got him a gun and a good box of mixed bullets.  "You might need them."

"Only to shoot the girls off," he said with a cheeky grin.  He strolled back to the office, reading the new treaty over.  He sighed but signed it and took the transportation powder from the Major's hand.  And away he went.  He landed in the middle of a town square, looking up at his new temple.  It was pretty.  "You guys did a great job," he praised.  A woman came running out and pounced him with a squeal.  He smiled at her.  He remembered her.  She had been fun and clean.  He carried her and all his stuff inside, going to...consecrate the temple for them.  The others who had been waiting joined in and it was a very...fun time that was had by all.

Fortunately he had grabbed the box of condoms from his apartment.

***

Horatio cornered Speed and Ryan that night.  "Rick Stetler proved he gets a paycheck for a reason," he said happily.

"Are you drunk, H?" Speed asked, checking his forehead.  "Or sick?  Tony said delusions came with his plague."

"Neither, boys.  Faith brought me information that someone in the lab had been making demonic deals.  Pity but Rick did handle it and did make the demon rescind his offer and huff off in a snit."

"Let him handle the next one down there," Ryan said happily.  Speed pinched him. "He could!"

"They'd make him an object of worship or something.  We'd be smugged to death."

"Forgot about that."  He shrugged.  "So, anything else new going on?"

"I wanted to talk to you both.  It seems your two year contracts are almost up?"

"Not for six months," Speed admitted.  Horatio hummed.  "Why?"

"Because we would like you both back in the lab.  We're offering a very good salary.  We're offering free meals at certain houses whenever you want or need one.  We're offering all your friends and family.  All you have to do is come home."

Speed sighed.  "H, I like my job.  I prevent people from being killed as often as I have to see someone that was killed.  Even if some of the scenes we see are worse, I like my job."

"I understand that.  You could do the same job with the MDPD now.  You could be our regional liaison.  The commissioner was also considering making it a local office.  You two, and the patrol officer who was already our liaison."  He smiled.  "With a bump up to detective for Ryan and you up to a sergeant's pay and rank," he finished, staring Speed down.

"Federal service gets you that?" Speed asked.  Horatio nodded, shifting some so he was more beside him than in front of him.  It let him look down then look at him sideways, like always.  "I'd have to think about it, H.  I really would."

"I understand that.  Mr. Wolfe, when does yours ends?"

"Um, I'm under a yearly one and I think it ends about three months before Speed's does.  I'd have to check."

"I'd appreciate that and that you both think about it.  We would love to have you back.  You would both still have full lab privileges for case work.  Your past and future research work would be highly looked on by us.  The commissioner thought it would give him a very good way to brag to other cities' police chiefs and commissioners.  You would definitely be a credit to the lab since you came from us, and to the department as well."

Ryan thought for a second.  "If it wasn't us coming in, would he still want to make the new office?" he asked quietly.

Horatio looked at him.  "He did say he would think about it if I could recruit other agents instead of bringing you two back.  He said it's probably a good idea not to have to wait for agents to show up if we have another serious problem."

Ryan sighed.  "All I can do is promise to think about it, Horatio."

"That's what I'm asking, Mr. Wolfe."  He clapped him on the shoulder.  "You should both call Alexx."

"We can do that tomorrow," Speed promised.  "That way we can tell her what fun we had with you guys."

Horatio smiled and nodded.  "I'm sure she'd like that."  He walked them off.  "I hear we're doing a scary movie marathon tonight."

"I see plenty of scary things," Speed said.  "So I'll giggle."

"That works too," Horatio decided, taking them down there.  Eric had saved them seats in the back of the room.  Horatio got between his boys, Calleigh got Speed's free side and Eric got Ryan's.  It was as close as his lab family had been in nearly forever.

He hoped he had been tempting enough.  He really did.  He missed his friend and coworker both.

***

Mac found Danny and Don arguing in their room about sports.  He coughed and cleared his throat when Don let him in.  "Can I have a few, guys?"  They nodded, dropping the petty argument to sit and watch him.  "I talked to the Chief earlier."

"That's usually a bad sign," Don said.  "What did he want now?  Beyond my father carping about me being in North Dakota because there's no women for me to date and give Mom grandbabies."

Mac smiled.  "He didn't mention the grandbabies."

"Thankfully.  That'd be a bit too strange," Danny said dryly.

"He was thinking that it might be best if we assigned a few detectives to a unit of our own.  That way DCIS only had to come for the worst things and we could handle the rest ourselves.  Two shifts, one CSI per shift.  It's not expected to be a high volume office but you'd basically have the spare lab upstairs as your office.  He's offering to bump you both up a grade if you come back to head the more active shift."

"So, basically come back, go through all the stress I had, just to do the same work?" Danny asked.  "For less end pay?"

"Well..."

"I'm making six grand more a year than I was before," Don told him.  "Plus I don't have to pay rent, Mac.  The only thing I have to buy is clothes and snacks for my place."

"I know it'll be a pay cut.  He'd like you to think about it because he thinks your contracts might be ending soon?"

"Four months," Don admitted.

"About two for mine," Danny offered.  "I'll think about it."

Mac smiled.  "Thank you, Danny.  Don?  It'd make your mother quit nagging and crying.  She showed up to cry and yell at me for not stealing you back and keeping you in New York."

Don rolled his eyes.  "How did I became such a sensible guy when my mother turns into a drama queen at the drop of a hankie," he muttered.  Danny laughed.  "Mom thinks I'm going gay," he told him.

"I saw the letter saying if you were she still had to approve and she'd expect grandkids with a surrogate," Danny said with a small grin.  "Or she suggested you date a slayer who's not a teenager."

"Not happening.  I like the girls, but not my type."  He looked at Mac.  "We'll think about it."

"If you could, you could take a few vacation days, maybe give us two weeks to try it out?" Mac offered.  "Around the time you'd have to renew?  That's how we usually do it when we switch departments.  Most bosses understand that."

"We'll see," Danny told him.

"That's all I could expect," he promised, smiling at them.  "By the way, Stella wants more detailed letters.  Even with the gory parts she said."  He stood up.  "Thanks, boys."  He left them alone to talk.

"Did you just feel guilt tripped?" Don asked.

"Yeah, just a bit," Danny said, leaning back on his bed to stare at the ceiling.  "I'm not sure I want to go back.  The city's my home and I miss it and all, but I'm kinda happy at DCIS."

"Me too."  He smiled.  "Even if Mom does think I'm doing Xander."

"I think Tony and Xander had a fling for stress relief," Danny offered.

"I noticed Tony needed it a few weeks back and found it somehow.  Since none of the girls was clinging I figured he had hit on one of us."

"They'd make an interesting couple."

"Very," Don agreed.  "You wanna think about this really hard?"  Danny shrugged. "Sure, we'll wait until he's not in puppy face range."  Danny grinned and nodded. "Unless they come out and then we can let George distract him again."

"He did give the shrub demon some very wary looks," Danny said, smirking now.  "He's a big shrub demon now too."

"He is.  Abby's done some amazing stuff with that new plant food.  I should get some for Ma's roses as long as they don't turn demonic."

"We'll have to test to see if it works on regular plants too."

"Thanks."

"Welcome."  He looked at him.  "Your mom still think you're banging me?"

"Yup.  She thinks I followed you out here to get my bit of tail back, her words," he said dryly.  Danny laughed.  "I told her we'd see about the screwing part.  We're buddies.  Right?"

"Right."  He grinned and turned on the tv.  "Wanna go watch scary movies with the guys?"

"Nah.  See enough of that watching the girls at breakfast or stalking Chase."  Danny cackled and nodded.  "Got any good lesbian porn?"  Danny found some and bought it off the pay-per-view.  "Ah.  Now I see why Dean likes porn so much."

"We could use a single channel on base that didn't go to the girls."

"Annabelle would kill us all, Danny."

"Well, yeah.  Did you hear she decorated Dean and Sammy's place with unicorns so they couldn't put dirty things in the open?"  Don laughed, shaking his head.  "She didn't want to see the dirty naked women pictures.  Thought the unicorn statues would make sure it was all kept away from them or they'd be tainted."

"That girl's a great kid.  If I adopt, I want her."

"They might let you."

"We'll see."  He stroked his stomach, watching the pitiful plot end and the action begin.  "That's nice."

"Very nice," Danny agreed, tipping his head to the side to get a better view.  He pushed his glasses back up his nose.  The porn was very nice and Don was making some hot noises.  Got him where he needed to go very well.

***

Xander stumbled back onto base later that night, waving a cheery wave at the guard before plopping down in the middle of the road.  "I'm really tired," he said happily with a bright grin.

"I can tell.  Thankfully there's no traffic," the guard said, calling the boss from his apartment.  He wanted to know when Xander got back.  He could walk him back to his apartment.  "Drinking, Harris?"

"Hell no, but my temple is beautiful and all the women there love me and some of the men too," he said proudly.  Danny came jogging out.  "Hi, boss!" he said with a wave and a smile.  "You're right, I did need to go to the christening of my temple o'lust.  It was great!"

"Why are you sitting on the road?"

"Because I'm so fucking tired."

"Ah."  He helped him up.  "Come on.  You can tell me about the parties."

"*Huge*, MASSIVE orgy, Danny," he said happily, beaming at him.  "It went on for *nine days*!"

Danny whimpered.  "Nine days?"

"Yeah."

"Did you eat?"

"Fuck no."

"Sleep?"

"I think I passed out after the quad."  He frowned for a second then let it slip back into his goofy grin.  "Not really sure.  I may've blacked out.  Things got kinda fuzzy in there."

"Let me get Chase to come see you."

"Awww, let House live vicariously.  He'd like my temple too.  It had some very pretty women.  Oooh, and I think I killed enough demons and bad things to finally make it to a full god.  See?"   He created a small mage light.

"We'll have to have Dawn check it out," he promised, leading Xander to his apartment.  He ran into Paul, on Xander's team, outside the towers having a cigarette.  "Can you get Doctor House to meet me at Xander's apartment please?  He just got finished christening his temple of lust."

"Sure," he agreed, smiling smugly.  "How many of them are going to invade and try to kill us all to get him back?"

"I hope none since we have a peace treaty," Danny said with a glare back at him.  Paul walked off giggling.  "Are any going to show up here?"

"Nope.  They'll wait for me to come back on vacation so I can kill more orcs and other stabby things."

"That's fine."

"And bed more women so they can learn better in bed and become better wives and lovers."

"I'm sure it helps."

"Most of them didn't even know what doggy style was," Xander said, looking at him.  "They were very deprived on the Anya scale.  Half of them didn't even know what oral sex was.  She'd be proud of me."

"I'm sure she would."

"And I taught a pro how to do it better.  Now she can charge more and take on better clients."

"That's nice of you."

"They used the christening to write a sex manual so they can all learn.  Then the skanky bitch goddess showed up and she howled too.  She was kinda cute but too evil even for me."  Danny used his pass to get into Xander's apartment - his had a master code.  Xander laid down on the couch with a hiss and a wince.  "Ow."

"Hurt yourself?"

"Kinda.  Too much butt sex."

Danny blushed.  "I don't need details, Xander.  Share with John or Dean tomorrow."

"Okay, but John will pout."

"Then share with Dean and Dawn."

"Sure, I can do that."  House tapped then walked in the open door.  "Hi," he said with a bright, cheery wave.  "How was your weekend?"

"It's late Saturday night, Xander.  So far it's not bad.  How was yours?"

"Nine day christening party at my temple o'lust."  He beamed. "I taught them a lot.  They didn't even know about oral sex or doggy style.  They were very deprived on Anya's scale," he said seriously.  "They even used the orgy to make a teaching manual."

"I'm happy they'll be getting off soon," House said dryly.  "Did you use the condoms?"

"Yup!  Even with the skanky hell goddess who was too evil, even for me.  But boy did she scream pretty when I had her...."  Danny covered his mouth.  "Sorry."

"Share tomorrow.  Jackson's got tender ears, Xander."  House checked him over.  "When was the last time you ate?"

"She fed me some honey."

"Actual honey?" House asked.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "On?"  If only he had thought to bring a video camera so he could show Xander how bad he was tonight.  It'd embarrass him forever.

"Looked kinda like bread but it was dark and had nuts."  He frowned.  "Tasted kinda funny too.  So did the wine she fed me earlier in the day when I made her scream in pleasure."

"Let's get you to the infirmary and draw some blood.  Just in case the food from that realm is a bit poisonous to us."  Danny nodded, helping Xander up, making him wince, hiss, and grab his back.  "Killed something bigger?"

"Well, yeah.  A few bigger, stabby things, but I think this was from the quad."

"He said that was the last time he got any sleep too; he passed out."

"He's got more stamina than I do then."  They walked him out to the hall.  "Hey, Sam, help Jackson carry Xander so we can make sure if he was poisoned or not."

"Xander, you left with weapons, where are they?" Sam asked.

"Oooh.  Glory, not the skanky hell goddess we killed back in Sunnydale but a very pretty blonde warrior wannabe wench, said she'd bring it back.  She wanted to study here."

"We'll see what we can do," Danny promised, getting Sam's help to take him to the infirmary.  "Sam, have him do a non-graphic report please?" he asked as he walked out. He wanted to blush in peace.

"Graphic?" he asked, looking confused.

"Nine day orgy," House told him as he got what he needed to draw blood.

"You are *so* the man, Xander," Sam said in awe.

"He didn't eat, sleep, and only passed out once during it," House told him.

"Damn."

Xander beamed.  "Then I went to kill more stabby things and then the skanky hell goddess showed up to let me teach her how to howl in pleasure too.  She fed me wine and some honey on bread-like stuff but it had nuts.  I'm really tired."

"I would be dead from all that," Sam told him. "You're much stronger than I am, Xander."  Xander beamed and passed out.  Sam helped him draw blood, getting an odd look.  "Might as well.  Should I go find him a protein shake?"

"Could help.  Let me make sure there's no poison I'll have to make him vomit."  He took it to run through the machines they had down there.  "I swear I'm going to have him write a book on what happened," he muttered.  "That way I know where to go on my next vacation."  The night shift nurse came in from the caf with a protein shake and Sam behind her. "Coffee break?"

"The tv down here's broken.  I put a sign on the door."

"Door was open when we got here," House told her.  "Not like we have narcotics but leave a bigger note."  She nodded, moving to strip Xander.  They both looked as things fell out of his clothes.  Not his underwear, which were mysteriously missing, but a few rubies, a few sapphires, an emerald.  A hard, coal looking rock.  Three gold coins.  A small flask.  A small statue that looked like bronze.  Sam found another coin in his shirt, putting it aside.  "Anyone recognize anything of these?"

"The flask is a shot of Dwarven wine.  It's *very* potent," Sam warned.  "People can die on it."

"Hmm.  The statue?  Is it alive or possessed?"

"No clue," Sam admitted, looking it over.  "Hey, it's a mini-Xander."  House shook his head quickly, moving to get the report.  The coins he looked at.  "Looks like elves."

"Elvis?" the nurse asked, looking confused. "He was with impersonators?"

"Elves, like pointy ears, smug demeanor?" Sam said, showing her the coin that had a picture of an elf's head on it.  She moaned.  "They had to sign and formalize a peace treaty with us thanks to Xander's vacation House sent him on."

"Next time, he can die here," House mumbled.

Sam grinned.  "We had fun."

"I'm sure you did."  He came over to administer the antidote to the poison.  "She tried really hard."  Sam read it and snickered.  "I know."  They got the protein shake down him by making him wake up enough to drink through a straw then Xander passed out again.  "I want to know how he survived a nine day orgy."

"His ex, Anya," Sam said.  "She was always wanting at least five orgasms a day.  Plus he was hunting with Buffy on the hellmouth and doing construction all day."

House looked at him.  "Did he sleep?"

"No idea."

"Thankfully he's coming down off that before he kills his next lover with it."

"Skanky hell goddess did," Xander mumbled.

Sam patted his hair down.  "I'm sure she did, Xander.  You rest.  We'll work on your report tomorrow.  Dean will want to hear."  Xander nodded, curling up on his side, taking Sam's hand to hold.  "Love you too, Xander."

"Not.  Turn you evil.  Mean Sam.  Not fun Sam."

"Okay, I won't love you enough so you can't turn me evil too."  House walked off snickering.  "Hey, his first one was Faith," he said dryly.  "Right before she went bad."

House shook his head, heading to make notes in Xander's chart.  "Let's do a penal swab as well," he told the nurse.  "Just in case he came home with something, even though he did use condoms."

"Yes, Doctor House.  Must I do it?  He'll be embarrassed," she said when House gave her a look.

"I doubt he can feel it after a nine day orgy."

She blushed.  "I'm thinking he would probably think it was continuing.  I don't want to be evil either."

"Fine."  He came over to take one and went to run it as well.  That UTI had come back but no diseases.  He made a note to ask Dawn to see if there was a disease repelling charm on the boy.  There had to be with how much he had gotten off bar prostitutes.

Sam was trapped so the nurse got him a nice chair and something to drink, then left them alone.

House made a note to get a new night shift nurse since this one was kind of wimpy.

***

Xander looked up from his infirmary bed, grinning slightly.  "Hi, Doctor House."

"Well, you've slept so you're not goofy from lack of it.  How do you feel?"

"Okay enough.  Why do I taste flowery stuff at the back of my throat?"

"Antidote to a poison."  He checked his vitals then nodded.  "Not bad.  Bit high."

Xander shrugged.  "I got scared awake by Nurse Patty."

"She could do it to me too," he admitted, making the nurse laugh from where she was stocking a cabinet.  "Did you get him cranberry juice for breakfast?"

"Sure did.  He drank it with a sigh.  No more sex, Xander."

"I try really hard but then Doctor House said I get too uptight.  I'm much more fun when I'm dating."

"I'm sure you are," House agreed.  He stared at him.  "Jackson's going to blush."

"I remember coming back."

"Good.  When did he finally let Sam go?"

"Around two.  When Dean came to see what happened to him," the nurse reported.  "What happened to Meredith?"

"Wimped out on giving a penal swab."  Xander shook his head.  "She said she didn't want to be evil either."  He gave Xander a look.

Xander shrugged back.  "You only go evil if I'm dating you.  She's nice but she's married."

"Good point."  He patted the kid on the head.  "How's his exhaustion and other levels?" he asked the nurse, limping that way.

"Reports are on the desk.  Doctor Chase slept in this morning."

"I let him now and then," he said dryly.  "He performs better later on."

"Does he have to bark too?" Xander asked him.

"Only if he's a good boy."

"You try to feed me a dog biscuit and I'm biting you," Chase said as he walked in.  "Where did you go?  Your girls wanted to know."

"To christen my temple o'lust," Xander said with a grin.  "After a few stabby things, a nine day orgy, and a hell goddess who wanted some for herself, I came home really tired because time runs differently there."

"Good to know.  I should go there on my next vacation."

"I may have made the women a bit demanding.  They didn't know what oral sex was."

"Pity for them."  He checked Xander's forehead. "You are running a small fever."

"I noticed," House called from the office.  "It looks like we countered the poison you got fed early enough.  No lasting damage.  You'll feel a bit sick and tired for a few days.  That'll give you time to do the report Jackson wanted.  A non-graphic one.  He said you can write out the full one if you want though."

Xander picked up and waved his laptop.  "Figured someone wanted to know."

"You still basically came in goofy and smiling about being tired," House told him.

"I remember.  At least it wasn't because I was drunk."

"No, no alcohol in your system," House assured him.   He swatted Chase.  "You ever bite me and I'm going to make you have sex with Cameron."

Chase looked at him.  "She's pretty."

"And whiny."

"So?"  He shrugged.  "Not like I'm marrying her.  She'll nap afterwards so I can escape.  Not much of a threat, House."

"Fine, Cuddy then."

Chase shrugged again.  "Stress relief."  House gaped.  "I'm a young man," he complained. "It'd only ever be stress relief on my part but if she wanted to...."  He walked off again. "We have two of the girls coming in later for their exams."

"Which you're doing," House shot back.

"Fine."

Xander snickered.  "You two sound like you're sleeping together," he pointed out.

"Only if he bends over the conference table and takes it," they quipped at the same time, then glared at each other.

"I'm older, I'd top, Junior," House said sarcastically.

"Only if this is Ancient Greece."

"Don't suggest that, it might happen," Xander complained, making both men shudder.  He went back to his report, letting House draw more blood.  "Didn't she just do this?"

"I'm running different tests."

"Fine."   He waited until the doctors were busy then got into his email and an address he had looked up.  Chase had said that Doctor Wilson had a teasing relationship with House.  House clearly needed more people to pick on.  So he'd give Wilson a chance to come pick on him in person.  Telling him House and Chase were so bored they were joking about sex with each other would crack him up and make him send more toys the girls would try to steal.  It was helping their stealth training.

Chase caught him and added on a message to the end, making Xander cackle quietly.  "He needed to know anyway.  He's clearly missing having something."  He walked off again.  "Try to rest, Xander.  You still need it."

"I'm trying, Mom, but I'm not sleepy yet."

"Don't make me sedate you."

"If you do, the girls will fuss."

"So?" he asked with an evil smirk.  "Won't be my problem or my back they hurt."

"No, I think that was butt sex with the quad."  Chase gaped at him.  He shrugged a bit.  "What?"

"Never mind," he muttered.  "We should do a swab there too."

"I used condoms."

"Uh-huh."

"Really, I did.  They even had a local equivalent."

"Good!"  He smirked at the young man.  Dawn bounced in and squealed, pouncing Xander to hug.  "We had a question.  Is there an anti-disease charm on him?" he asked her.

She beamed and nodded.  "Anya wanted one done on her and got the stuff for Willow to do it.  She did it on Xander just in case Anya turned out to be a skanky, cheating ho."  Xander nodded a bit at that.  "What did you do?"

"Had to seal the peace treaty by going to see my new temple o'lust."

She blushed.  "Oh, no.  Is there a whole realm of bad girls coming here?"

"Only if the skanky hell goddess managed to get up again after the second round," Xander said dryly, giving her a look.  She whimpered.  "Different one; she wanted to learn how to scream better too.  They didn't even have oral sex."

"Poor women."  She shook her head and got her next pill pack.  "Few days early but better now than I forget since I have a test Wednesday."  She gave Xander another hug.  "I'll tell the girls you're back."  She went to do that.

Xander went back to his decidedly graphic report.  He could tame it down for the boss later.  Dean would enjoy it and he was sure there was someone somewhere who needed to know what was done to ratify the treaty.

***

Gibbs found Tony at brunch the next morning, sitting down across from him.  "Still satisfied to be there?"

"I am," he said with a smile.  "Very satisfied, boss.  It's a great job.  The girls treat me like a big brother without sense sometimes but it's good."  Gibbs shook his head.  "You could come out with Probie.  Even with new watchers being found, we could use another one.  You'd be driven insane with how much of our job is spent in the library but you could do the watcher stuff."

"I'll consider it.  I'd rather have you and Abby back in DC."

"We like where we are," he said quietly, looking around.  "Abby?"  She came over to hug them both.  "He wants us back."

"Nope.  I'm a good big sister to the girls and they need me, Gibbs.  There's almost no other girls on base."  She gave him an extra squeeze.  "You can come out and work with us.  We wouldn't mind."  She beamed and bounced back to her table and discussion.  The other forensic people were asking about her research.  It was a heady feeling.

Gibbs smiled.  "They're appreciating her," Tony agreed.  "She deserves it."  He ate a bite of jelly toast.  "They could use you, boss."

"I know.  We'll see."  Tony nodded.  "What George was she talking about petting?  New pet?"

"We have a small shrub demon who came for sanctuary and adopted the girls.  Abby's recently come up with a plant food for him and he's grown some.  They all pet his branches and it makes him a happy little wandering shrub."

Gibbs shook his head quickly.  "That's a bit strange."

"George is pretty nice until you block his sun or go after the girls.  Then he's got poison nettles.  He even tried to go to school with them their first day."

"Still too strange."

"You know, half the time we're protecting the harmless things from humans hurting them, boss.  There's a lot of harmless species and we end up rescuing them and keeping the humans from doing harm."

"I get that.  It's an important job," he agreed.  "Doesn't mean I can deal with the strangeness."

"They're less evil than your ex-wives," Tony quipped.

"I think Satan's less evil than one of them," he shot back.  Then he cuffed him on the head.
Tony just grinned back.  "We'll see."

"Sure.  Probie's coming out in a few weeks.  She's got a party lined up if he's staying.  It'll give the girls someone new to coo over.  They said I hired for eye candy."

"I can see why they think that," he said dryly.

"I may be pretty but I'm also very talented," Don Flack quipped as he walked behind Gibbs, getting a dirty look from him.  Don smirked back on his way to the food.

"He's very talented," Tony agreed.  "He's a very good poach."

Gibbs shook his head quickly.  "If you say so, DiNozzo."  Tony's phone chirped.  "Problem?"

"Xander's back and okay according to Dawn."  He held up a finger and called.  "Case?" he asked.  He listened then he nodded.  "Good to know.  Tell him I said feel better."  He hung up.  "Hey, Abby, they had to send Xander to seal the peace treaty."  She cackled from her table.  "But he's okay and we're not going to be invaded."

"Good!" Danny yelled from his table.  "We don't need Xander to date.  I agree with the girls."

"He's fine."

"Uh-huh."

Don Flack walked back to the table shaking his head.  "Only Xander."

"Yup," Tony agreed dryly.  He looked at Gibbs.  "Xander's Vegas vacation led to a peace treaty with somewhere else but he had to go back to seal it.  He's okay though.  One of the women tried to poison him.  He came home exhausted from sex.  A normal Xander vacation with women involved."  Gibbs spluttered.  "Xander's just like that, boss.  He only dates evil women.  We had all worried they might invade if they didn't get the peace treaty signed soon."

"Define evil?" he suggested.

"His last one used to be a vengeance demon.  A nympho vengeance demon.  One who punished unfaithful men."  Gibbs shuddered. "Yeah.  We've seen a few of her successor's handiworks.  It's very bad."

"Damn," he said in awe.

"Uh-huh.  But that's just Xander for you."

Gibbs shook his head quickly and got more coffee, heading over to talk to Mac and Horatio in their corner table.  "It might be better if we go there to make them sane."

"I heard," Mac said.

"They're going to go nuts.  Especially protecting the harmless things from the humans."  Mac gave him an odd look.  "DiNozzo said that's half the job."

"I didn't know that."

Horatio nodded.  "They also step into matters when one clan bothers another one if a complaint is made.  They're there to keep down any interaction that could come to public notice.  Including keeping us from hurting them.   The second team that came to Miami spent their first day breaking a slavery ring fairly quickly.  Humans running it and selling off demons that they considered useful."  He took a drink of his tea.  "Tony was not a happy agent when he busted in there.  They looked scared of him too."

"Good, they should be scared of him," Gibbs said.  He sat down.  "What did you offer them?"

"New offices," Mac said.  "Rank raises."

Horatio nodded his was the same.  "All the home-cooked meals they could ask for."

Mac smiled.  "Alexx is going to fuss those boys to death."

"Again," Horatio agreed, earning a smirk from Gibbs.  "She's like Speed's mother."

"Some women do adopt that way.  If you let her onto base she'd probably adopt all the girls."

"Some of the girls are very blunt and would make her blush," Horatio told him.

"Especially Annabelle," Ryan said as he walked behind Gibbs to get out the door.  "But she's neat."

Horatio smiled, shaking his head.  "They sound nice enough.  Even if they had been doing panty raids to practice their stealth training."  Mac spluttered.  "They've been trapped on base for months with only the, admittedly, pretty agents Tony and Xander Harris hired for them to stare at."  He smiled before sipping his tea.  "They're teenage girls.  What else were they going to do?"

"I should have Stella talk to them," Mac mumbled.

"She might make a good big sister, the same way Abby has been," Gibbs said.  "Abby said the old watchers were assholes, to be blunt, and she's had to give a lot of girl talks to them."

Mac shook his head.  "Stella would go into fussing mode."

"They could use it," Gibbs agreed.  "Especially if she could make it as a watcher."

"That's a hard job," Horatio told him.  "Watching your slayer go into the field to hunt every night."

"It's an important one," Gibbs corrected.  "Even if it does wear on everyone.  They get the same sort of soul destroying worry, Horatio."

"I know.  Faith and I talked a lot while she was in Miami.  She headed down last night to deal with another issue since our Internal Affairs department is actually earning their pay."  Mac gave him an odd look.  "She brought me information on someone making a very bad deal with something.  Rick Stetler actually managed to scare it off by himself."

"I'm proud," Mac said.  "Isn't he the one that thinks you're an evil thing?"

Horatio smirked.  "Indeed."

Gibbs shook his head.  "People like that annoy me.  Then again, my new director is like that."

"You could go join them.  Most of your team has," Horatio pointed out.  "If we get our people they'll need more agents."

"Half their cases are solved in a library."

"Yes but the half that aren't seem to be very bad," Horatio pointed out.  Gibbs nodded he knew that.  He checked his watch.  "The second DNA panel is about to start."  He finished up and headed for that.  Mac too.  Gibbs went to browse.  His next one wasn't for another hour.  Abby bounced off to the DNA panel as well, making him smile.  He looked at Speedle, who was being nagged by Wolfe.  "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Speed didn't carry his sidearm to the conference," Ryan said with a glare at Speed.

"I carry it on cases."

"Uh-huh.  It should be peaceful this weekend, Wolfe," Gibbs said.

"It should be but there's a huge sucker outside."  Speed groaned, heading to find Tony.  Ryan walked out to help handle it by distracting the thing.  It worked well.  Tony came out to handle the demon once he had it out of public view.  It had come to file a complaint.  Against a slayer.  They groaned but took it.  They'd pass it back to Wesley, which they promised to do.  Gibbs stared as it wandered off.  Ryan looked at him.  "It wanted to complain about a slayer."

"It's huge."

"It's an herbivore, Gibbs," Speed said, glaring at him.  "We don't hurt the harmless ones.  Size and meanness don't equate and the only agent we've lost to death has been from something two foot tall that was a ball of fur and mouth."  He walked off calling Wes.  "Wesley, it's Speed.  I just had one of those large, purple herbivores... yeah, that thing.  I had one of them come up to me to complain that a slayer was taking out his clan.  Said her name was Candy?"  He nodded.  "It could be one of the girls that got missed somehow.  I don't know.  I can fax it to you.  Please.  If so, you need to smack her around.  If not, well, it's a case."  He smiled.  "Thanks, man."  He hung up and went inside to fax it.  The desk clerk gave him a relieved look.  "That one only eats plants.  Usually lettuce and pine needles."

"I'll remember that."  She finished the fax for him and handed back the complaint form he had written out.  "There you go, sir.  Have a happy conference."

"You too.  I know we drive you guys nuts."  He walked off smiling, folding that to put it into his pocket.

***

Wesley walked into the squad room a bit later.  "Paul, there you are.  We have a supposed slayer killing herbivore demons."  He handed over the complaint.  "I had Dawn and Willow check.  There's no slayers called in that area at all."

"I'll get onto it," he promised, looking it over.  "It should be pretty easy to stop her."  He smiled.  "How's Xander?"

"He's not all right?"

"He had to go help that peace treaty."

"Oh, I see.  Is he injured?"

"Loopy when he came back last night.  Something about an orgy and a skanky hell goddess who wanted some."

Wesley rolled his eyes.  "That boy is a bad influence on the girls," he muttered.

"He didn't do it where they could see."

"I'm sure he brought something back," he said dryly.

"No, Willow put the anti-skanky ho charm on Xander when she did Anya's," Dawn said as she walked in.  "Looking around, the girl has a webpage of her hunting," she said, handing over a CD.  Paul smirked at her.  "Even Xander needs the stress relief now and then.  The girls know this and know that Xander's a Xander and no one else can do what he does, Wes.  Lighten up before you turn into Giles."  He shuddered at that, but nodded to show he understood.  "She even tried to poison him during sex."  She strolled off.

"I'll get a report on that, in case it comes back to bite us later," Wesley sighed, going to do that.  Xander looked up from his typing.  "Peace treaty?"

"After my vacation."

"Oh, that place.  Was it fun?"

Xander grinned. "Nine day orgy.  Fortunately time runs faster there."

"Indeed.  The girls would worry if you were gone that long."  He came closer.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  They said the poison didn't take hold and I'm not as tired as I had been."  He grinned.  "I'm fine, Wes.  The girls won't be warped.  They know they can't be a Xander."

"Good."  He looked at the laptop.  "Report?"

"Yup.  You can even file the less graphic version if you want."

"Please."  He walked off shaking his head.  That boy!  Sometimes he did try the nerves.

Xander grinned and went back to finishing up his report.  When Dean came in a few hours later to see him he handed it over.  "Proofread it for me?"

Dean sat down on the foot of his bed to do that, giving him an awed look.  "Damn."

"Sam said the same," he said with a grin.

"Yeah!  I couldn't survive that long."  He went back to reading.  It had some great details.  "Think they could film this?"

"I don't know.  They don't have video cameras there," Xander admitted.  "Well, except at the casino but I didn't think about that."

"Sammy heard and made a bet while you were gone," he assured him.  "He bet how long it'd last.  He laid a spread bet and lost two because you didn't make it to the tenth day."

"I had to slay the stabby things attacking the town."

"He heard.  So he changed his last bet when he found out there was a woman involved.  Dad nearly beat his ass for that."  House gave him a dirty look.  "Dad can spank hard!" he defended.

"Then why didn't it make you a good boy?"

"Nature of the business, doc."  He shot him a cocky grin.  "Can't salt and burn if you're a good boy."

"Uh-huh."  He came over to print out a copy of the report for himself since all the laptops were hooked up to the wireless system.  It'd print down here since it was the closest printer.  He went to read it in the office.  It did have a lot of good information in it.  Very happy information really.  Though he caught a typo now and then.  Still good enough to make him need a distraction.

***

Dean walked into Jackson's office, handing him the two reports.  "The thinner one is the less graphic version to file with the treaty in case some nosy person wants to know how it was sealed."  It was only a page long.  The other, about forty.  "They sedated Xander again a few minutes ago.  He still needs a nap."

"Good to know."  He looked over the shorter report then the thicker one.  "How graphic is that one?"

"If he could find someone to film it, they'd make millions."

"Ah."  He put that one aside.  "I don't need to read that."

Dean smirked.  "I proofed it for typos.  So did House."

"I'm sure you did," he agreed dryly.  "What's this I heard about new watchers?"

"Wesley got a call from Speed.  There were a few hiding in the Caribbean.  They heard rumors about DCIS and the others no longer being around.  They figured they'd hit the guys up for intel at the conference.  Speed had been complaining about the old white guy council to his former teammates."

"The guy approached him?"

"More like Speed saw him getting uptight and huffy about what he said and faced him down about it.  He gave him the clue he needed and Wes's phone number, plus Caridad's in case they wanted Cleveland.  Wes said they'd be up in a few days.  He's calling Giles today once he finds out exactly who's left.  But we have the library and they're research guys."

"Who weren't as dangerous as the ones watching the slayers in training," Danny finished.  Dean nodded.  "Good to know.  How many?"

"Don't know yet.  Wes thinks at least five."

"That could be helpful if they'd translate the library."

"I think that's what they were planning.  Even Giles could use it in English and there's all that stuff from the probates in storage too."

"Why?"

"No room."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "That can be a problem I guess.  Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He left, heading back to talk to his dad and Sammy.  It was Sunday.  Everyone had the day off until something happened.  "Xander handed in both reports."  Sam moaned, shaking his head.  "Very good."

"I'm sure it was.  Wes found out there's seven coming from the Caribbean and they know of one in Africa who's going to stop and talk to the girls there for us to make sure they're still okay.  Wes laid down the law about leaving them if they were wanting to stay.  They think there might be a few more hiding in college and things.  Some of the older ones' kids and the like.  They'll look into that for them."

"Good.  What did Giles say?"

"He nearly cried and agreed the library was the first priority at the moment.  They needed it translated for both agencies then we could have copies.  Which might be thinner."

"It'd have to be.  Did we remind Wes of the stuff in storage from the probate hearings?"

"Mostly," Sam agreed.  "He's been in there a few times looking for a few specific books.  Angel's even donated his copy as a loaner."

"So we'll be okay on books?" John asked.  Sammy nodded.  "Good.  No new field guys?"

"Not that he said.  They might end up being some."

"Some of the girls are going to need someone a bit tougher."

"Tony's been trying to get his old boss Gibbs and the girls wanted to keep Horatio," Dean told him.  "We don't know if they'll take the hints.  Oh, anything on New York coming up?  Annabelle was moaning about it when I saw her wandering around half asleep a while ago."

"Small disaster, kept in-clan," Sam told him.  "I took the report, forwarded it to Giles. He'll send Caridad and one of the others to handle it."

"Good."  He smirked, getting comfortable.  "Now what?"

"Now, we wait and see if any of the women Xander slept with come to invade when the one brings his stuff back.  And then we wait to see what happens since a lot of emotional pressure is going to be given to some of the guys to go back to their old jobs.  Dawn has a science test on Wednesday.  So we'll do what we normally do."

"He didn't come back with his stuff?"

"No, apparently the skanky hell goddess, as he put it, decided to take him after he killed the, as he named them, stabby things," Dean told him.  John moaned, shaking his head.  "All his stuff was back at the temple.  One of the people will be bringing it to him.  Including his battle axe."

"Good.  Let's hope they don't try to get him back."

"We can all hope," Sam agreed dryly.  Dean gave him a shove.  "Hey!"

"Ah, whine," Dean said with a mean grin.

"Are you possessed?" Sam demanded.  Dean shook his head, giving him a raised-eyebrow strange look.  "You sure?  We can check."  He pounced, knocking him down to hold him down and pin him while he made sure he wasn't possessed.

"Boys," John complained, shaking his head.  "Quit trying to exorcize your brother, Sammy.  Dean, quit picking on Sammy before he messes up and puts one in you," he said patiently.  He sounded horribly parental to his ears.  For some reason.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Petting the Apocalypse.

"X, stay calm," Faith said, holding up a hand to stop him at the gate.  "Just stay really calm, okay?"

"Some of my worst nightmares start this way.  What happened this time?"

"Nothing too horrible but a bit shocking.  The Watchers are here and they have sense."

"That's good," he agreed, staying calm.  She had started off with a good thing, that was not good.  "And?"

"Wes said you're over the library for a bit.  He's taking a mental vacation one way or another."

"Uh-huh.  Figured he needed one sometime soon since his vacation meant coming back here.  And?" he pressed, nodding a bit.

"Um, the girls got a new pet?" she said hesitantly.

"Is it Godzilla?" he asked dryly.

"Not that bad of a pet.  It's shocking and really kinda horrifying in a few ways but Binky's very nice."

"Binky?"

"Annabelle named it."

"She named George too."  He moved closer.  "What is Binky and is it going to eat me?"

"It might not like you.  It's a baby unicorn."  She stepped back at is odd look.  "Honest, it is."

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut then opened them again.  "A little unicorn named Binky?  I come back from a case and find out that there's unicorns named Binky.  Okay.  And?"

"It really likes Annabelle but Wesley said there's something wrong with it."

"Because it likes Annabelle?"

"He said she's a bit too warped for the innocence clause and she's been all over that baby unicorn.  It's cute," she said with a grin.

"They usually are."  He waved a hand. "Let me put up my bag.  We'll make sure Binky won't stab me."  She beamed and walked him that way.  "Does the boss know?"

"Nope.  He's off testifying before the budget people."

"Ah.  Good.  You can tell him too."  He beamed.  He went up to his apartment and dropped his bag while finding his keys.  "Hey, guys, is Binky an okay pet for the girls?"

"The thing's freaky," Sam called.  "It keeps trying to nuzzle me."  He leaned out his door.  "That's one twisted unicorn, Xander."

"Huh.  Why does it like Annabelle?"

"She's a bit twisted too."

"Good point."  He threw his bag into his apartment then reclosed the door and locked it, heading down to see Binky.  Faith led him to the courtyard where the girls were playing in the sun.  He stopped, he stared, then he giggled. "It's adorable but you've still got to clear it with Jackson because it's his base."

Annabelle pouted.  "But Binky would like him too.  It likes Sheppard."

"He's back?"

"Was back.  We got another bit of his program sent to us.  It wouldn't go back the normal way and Jack's in DC bugging Danny and the budget people himself."  Kim grinned at him. "Can't we keep it, Xander?"

"Ask Jackson.  Not my base."  He looked at it, it was walking over to him.  "I'm not pure enough to touch you, sweetheart.  Boy, girl?"

"Has no penis, gotta be a girl," Faith said.  Binky kicked dirt at her.  "He wanted to make sure.  Not my fault I had to look."

Xander looked at her.  "Isn't it obvious?"

"I thought so but the girls still made me look under her tail."

Xander shook his head, letting the unicorn sniff him.  "I'm the girl's trainer and protector.  You're safe here with us.  They'll coo and brush you to death but you're safe with us."  The unicorn nuzzled his stomach and let him pet her.  "Huh."  He did that then she trotted back to Annabelle.  "Are any of the other younger girls able to pet her, Annabelle?"

"Yup."

"Okay then."  He went to call Giles since Wesley was probably off on his mental vacation by now.  "Giles, me.  The girls here have a new pet."  He put him on speaker. "Yes, it's a strange one."

"Stranger than the walking shrub?" he asked dryly.

"We have a small unicorn named Binky who let me pet her.  She's loving on Annabelle right now."

"A unicorn?" he demanded.

"Yup."

"And she let you pet her?"

"Yup."  He sat down.  This was clearly going to be a long talk.

"How on earth?"

"I was on a case.  Faith stopped me at the gate to tell me there was strange news."

"Stranger than the unicorn?"

"No, she was it."

"Oh, good.  I'd hoped it wasn't much stranger."

"Is the innocence thing a myth, Giles?" he asked, heading back to the topic.

"No, not that I've heard of.  Though there are actually two types of unicorns.  There's one we watchers call a malicorn.  They tend to go for the bad and those tainted instead of those who're pure.  She could be one of those.  Is she white?"

"Light gray with dark gray hooves and a silver mane and tail.  About four feet tall."

"Then she's probably a malicorn.  I don't know about their official names or if they're in a separate category or not.  They're generally thought of as extinct and harmless."

"Then why can Anna and the other younger girls still pet her?"

"I don't know," he said, sounding confused.  "If so, then there might be a problem."

"It might be the taint of being a slayer, even if they haven't had to slay," John said as he walked past the door.  "I take it you met Binky, the wonder unicorn who keeps trying to horn Abby up the skirt?"

"Sam said she's nuzzling him.  I got a few nuzzles to my stomach then she went back to playing with the girls," Xander said.  "Would any of the books have her, Giles?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure if I had any copies of them in Sunnydale or if they might be in any of the things we've gotten off the probates."

"That reminds me, you've got some next week according to Wes," John mouthed from the doorway.

"Hold on, Giles.  John needs something."  He put him on hold.  "Why can't Wes go since he's holding the checkbook?"

"Because you handled all the other ones and everything went into your name," John said simply.

"Then can't Giles since he's the technical head of the Slayers Council?"

"No.  You have to turn it over from you to them since you started everything in your name.  Wes asked the lawyer who said you had to show up.  No matter what.  Also, get a suit while you're over there."

"Why?" he whined.

"Testifying in court. You have one coming up in Miami at the coroner's inquest for the people that spirit killed."

Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "When is that?"

"A few days after you're supposed to get back."

"Crap."

"Basically.  So buy a suit.  You can bring Giles to the probate hearings if you want.  It might help him."

Xander nodded.  "When am I being sent to do that and does Danny know?"

"Yeah, Dawn handed him the schedule and the court hearing.  He was amused and said better you than him."

"Charming." He took Giles off hold.  "John had to remind me that there's a probate hearing set for next week that I have to go to.  Wes checked with the lawyer, the way he started things means I have to be there even though I'm turning everything over.  We'll need to talk to him about that."

"I can call him today, Xander.  That way you don't have to go.  Or you can call in or whatever."

"If we can do it that way, I'd like that.  I have to testify at my first court hearing a few days after I'm due back.  That's a lot of hours flying."

"Good point.  Do we know which one?"

"Dawn, which probates are going on!" he shouted.

"Titmahns, Royale, and Vergess," she called back.

"Hear that?"

"Oh, yes.  I knew two of them.  No other family?"

"No idea," Xander admitted.  "I made a motion that if there was none that would come forward, the Council would like to claim their estates as they were our people, they do have books that are important in their possession, and possibly artifacts that could hurt others.  Since there's a whole bunch of them under the same issue, we have one judge that agreed to take them all in small groups.  We explained why when he demanded with the first one and showed him.  I took him to a demon club that night.  Let him talk to someone who was fairly harmless and he told him what the council had done and then I told him what the council was going to be doing different.  I told him about you guys in the coma, all that.  He put things going to me and then I could hand them over to the council.  Something about a new law and organizations not inheriting or something."  He grimaced.  "So the lawyer liked that idea, it was all good.  This is batch eighty or so.  He takes them five to ten at a time usually.  I think this is one of the last batches.  He took all the ones with wills first."

"I'll get with our lawyer tonight then.  He is a good and decent one.  Not like the financial manager you hired."

"Wes hired."

"All right then, that Wesley hired."

"He was an expedient choice, Giles.  We needed someone who could do it and his family were Watchers.  Plus he didn't want to take too much of a fee."

"I can understand why he was chosen then.  The new one is younger but more even tempered and less prone to making mathematical errors."  He yawned.  "What are you going to do about Binky?"

"Is there a way to send Binky home if Danny won't let her stay?"

"I don't know.  I'd have to have the research in front of me."

"Then I'll ask someone.  Anything else we should talk about?"

"Where is the last girl?"

"Cordette's with her adoptive family in LA.  Our local liaison FBI agent is her big brother."

"Ah!  That explains much.  Buffy wasn't sure of her address and I wanted to set up a meeting about her training."

"She's been taking martial arts and self defense classes that her brother found through the FBI, Giles.  We've been taping demonology lectures all along for future training and sending her copies.  Also, her brother hunts men who do bad things.  He can teach her how to hunt vamps the same way."

"It's a bit different."

"Not really.  Gathering information, the stalk, the hunt, the kill at the end is different but she's also got Morgan, Crissy, Connor, and Gunn helping her.  She said Angel gives her the creeps.  It took her a few weeks to get used to Connor."

"Hmm.  Then the gift's strong in her.  She's how old?"

"She'll be nine in a few months."

"Oh, that poor dear."

"Giles, a word of advice.  Whatever you're planning to try to uncall the girls, do a lot of research first please?  Remember, we do have potentials coming after them and I don't want a Willow backfire to call them too.  It's hard enough deciding what to tell the parents and when."

"You and Wesley were supposed to give me that plan of action."

"We've gotten it down to we'll start contacting them around eight or so.  That's early enough that they have a lot of time for training, even if they're called at fourteen or fifteen but not too early so they can still have happy home lives and learn what a good family is and feel that sort of support without being warped by us. Cordette's seven years older then the oldest one so if she gets to age out that'll call her at sixteen."

"It doesn't always go on age."

"Yes but they're all around the same age.  We can tell their parents around then, give them everything we know, help with the training without having to do more than assign her a watcher to help train her, maybe send to the trainers if the parents want her trained with us instead of doing it like Cordette is if they have the means.  Because one girl's daddy is a DI for the Air Force."

"A drill instructor?" he asked.

"Yup."

"Interesting.  So he'd be able to train her and we could train her for the specifics?"

"Like we're doing with Cor.  We can send the demonology lectures if she's trained at home.  If we get enough watchers for field work, we can keep to the big sister program.  They can train with him and a girl that's got a few years left.  That way she knows what she's getting into, she's got a big sister she can go to if she's got concerns, all that.  Plus it'll help the girls when they age out."

"How long before we know for sure?"

"The one girl in the journal lost hers a few days after her birthday.  I'm not sure why."

"Hmm.  The girls who're chosen won't manifest the calling until they're between two weeks and three months of age."

"So probably whenever she manifests."

"Do we have other sources?"

"A demon I talked to who was a spirit messenger.  He said the original spell called for a girl of no older than twenty-three.  They thought she'd be too old by then.  Younger was fine and if they had to, they were mercenary enough to handle it."

"Yes, they were back in the day," he admitted.  "I'd like some confirmation of that."

"If the building hadn't blown up...." Xander said dryly.

"I know.  That's not a bad plan.  I would still like to meet the future girls."

"I figured at that time we'd set up good relations with the family.  Point out how this happened, why it could happen to her.  All that.  Plus having a big sister around would equate having someone to help her and help calm her down.  Make her a bit more stable.  Even Faith said that if she had one that she wasn't being compared to, it might've helped her."

"That's a good plan then.  I'd like it in writing?"

"Wes said he's taking a mental vacation whether or not we like it."

"Ah.  Well, his last one was to come back there so I suppose it's all right.  I was going over your ideas.  What sort of command center?"

"Tracking problem areas, where the girls were, the information we had coming in.  Both a local and a global map could do that but have a few people there to track those things, find migration patterns, all that stuff.  One information officer to handle that with a few people doing the tracking."

"That's not a bad idea.  Do you have one there?"

"We have a few maps but we go case by case.  The other hunters have a network to send someone in their region out and if it's a slayer case they send it to John.  If it's a DCIS case they send it to John to pass on."

"That's fine then.   Willow did like the idea of a magic area, just one to do that."

"We'd like her to take up a more ritual form so she has to be prepared instead of casting on the fly for general things, Giles.  Because she changed Ananbelle's clothes the other day."

"She did?  You're sure it wasn't Dawn?"

"Very."

"Hell," he muttered.  "I'll talk with her."

"That's the way Tara was trained.  The way the Devon coven trains.  The way the witches Dawn trains with were trained and train others now.  You start out with the ritual and then you move back.  Willow's never done the full ritual.  She's always improvised and look how many accidents we had."

"I know.  Have you had others?"

"Amber turned into a bunny rabbit but I couldn't prove which one it was.  Dawn had the flu and felt like crap so it could've been.  Her teachers think it wasn't.  They have a way of telling.  They weren't sure who it was."

"Oh dear," he sighed.  "I'll talk with her about that."

"It might also help her learn other forms."

"It could, yes.  That's a good reason."  You could hear a pen scratching.  "Anything else we need to know?"

"Not yet.  Should I worry about payroll forms for the guys or are you doing that?"

"Wesley was."

"Fine, I'll go pull him out of his vacation and ask if he did them then."

"Have fun with that.  Let me know how it goes with Binky."

"If they can't keep him or we can't send him back, I'm sending Binky to you," he said then he hung up.  He leaned back, rubbing his eyes.  "I have a headache."  He went to the library.  "Um, hi?" he asked the guy dusting in there.  "Which one are you?"

"Thomas."  He turned with a smile.  "You must be Xander."

"I am."  He shook his hand.  "Okay, three really good questions.  Half the books in here Giles and he'll want most of them back when he gets a new building put up.  Can we translate so DCIS still has a copy?"

"Of course!"  He smiled.  "I'm the former head librarian at the Carribean branch, boy."  Xander went limp with a smile.  "I have our collection in storage and at least a fifth of it already on CD.  In both the original language and the translated version."

"Thank you, Goddess.  Our director is a linguist.  Can he help?"

"If he wishes."

"Even better.  Second nosy question.  Payroll forms?"

"Wesley had us do that before he went to lie down with a migraine."

"Even better."  He beamed.  "Wesley left a message for me to handle things while he was laying down with it.  Thirdly, Binky?"

"Binky?  Like the pacifier?"  Xander pulled him over to a window and pointed.  "Is that a unicorn?"

"Yes.  Annabelle named him Binky.  He doesn't seem to care about innocence at all.  Giles said something about malicorns?  That it was a special watchery term?" he said at the confused look.

He rolled his eyes.  "I would've spanked Rupert if he had used such untechnical terms in my library.  There are two types of unicorns."

"Okay.  Will it hurt the girls?"

"No, of course not."

"If that one doesn't like innocence then why can the younger girls play with her?"

"Hmm.  I'd have to say the calling itself taints the soul a bit.  Therefore you have less than perfect innocence even if you are pure of ...spirit."

"Good to know.  Can we get it home if Jackson won't let them keep it?"

"That may be a problem.  The shield is not that penetrable."  Xander gave him a confused look.  "No one told you?"

"Told me what?"

"They should have covered that in your first year of training in Watchers Council History."

"I helped Buffy.  I'm here and DCIS under practical experience."

"Ah!  That makes more sense!"  He smiled.  "I tend to refer back to books for obscure concepts so have you ever read a series of books called the Phase Series?  By an older English chap in Florida who emigrated years ago?"

"Yeah, once or twice as a teenager."

"We did the same thing during the early eleven hundreds to protect the species that needed it from the vile people who wanted to destroy them all because their powers and their innate connection to the plane's powering and stability would kill us all if they died out."

Xander nodded once.  "Okay.  So like that barrier do we have gateways?"

"No.  We sealed it permanently shut and any serious breach could likely bring about the two merging again and creating chaos."  Xander pointed down at the unicorn.  "Now and then one does get through from their side.  I'll look into it."

"That'll work," Xander decided.  "Have you went through the probate stuff yet?"

"I have no idea where it is.  My fellows and I are looking forward to it."  Xander motioned and led him down to a huge storage area.   He gaped in awe at all the boxes.  "Are they all books?"

"No. Some are artifacts.  We should have a list but it's by each probate, so it's a crate list and not all are marked properly."  He pointed across the hall.  "The other stuff that got sent to Sunnydale.  The rest of the dangerous catacomb thing that the one female watcher used her last bits of blood to bring to us, which had the scythe, and the stuff we confiscated on our way out or Giles had.  That has a proper index.  We had the girls helping."  He got him that one.  "So, books upstairs somehow.  Artifacts over there.  Dangerous ones to the left side.  Let us know if anything needs special holding or magic.  Because Dawn's the only one we have right now."

He nodded.  "I can do that."

"Cool.  Will you need any sort of special system to translate?"

"I have one at home.  I can get mine shipped."

"Even better.  Your library down there?  Not to sound greedy."

"Rupert did have an odd taste in books."

"It probably came from hanging with Ethan when he was younger."

Thomas looked at him.  "No wonder he got fired."

"No, that was for giving too much of a damn.  Then Buffy told Travers to stick it.  We do hold to that theory.  The girls are to be normal girls."

"I've heard.  I agree.  Especially with so many."

He stepped closer.  "Giles and Willow are trying to find a way to uncall them.  While I don't mind, I'm a bit wary of what that would do to the girls and Willow having an oops."

"I can see what we have on it."

"Giles doesn't like the journal that has mention of a girl aging out."

"I have a copy of the original spell in our library down there.  As did the Asian branch."

"There was an Asian branch?"

"Yes, we had six or seven main offices," he said, sounding confused.

"When Wes and I had to assume command, we put it in as the Council, which was an entity that had people and things spread all around the globe but they were all employed by the main branch in England.  The lawyer's family was one and he said it worked that way.  He explained that to the judge."

"I'll call around some of the other historians and librarians to see if any of us are left, Xander."

"Thank you."  He gave him a hug.  "Field watchers optional but very nice as long as they're not assholes."

"Of course."  He patted him on the arm.  "You do too much."

"It started out as me and Wes.  With Gunter going to find the girls that got missed in the purge."

"Oh, dear."

"He died doing it."

"I'm sure he did.  Well, I think we can handle that."

"The Major, our self defense person?  He's actually a commando and put us in touch with a troop that could do that for us since a few were in war zones and most were in other countries.  They took one of the older girls with them.  Buffy would've went but she decided to be the Cleveland figurehead."

"As is proper for the senior girl.  I know Faith moves back and forth."

"The girls like her more.  They had a year without Buffy and decided they liked the more laid back approach she uses better."

"How did that coma happen?"

"No clue.  It happened with the explosion.  All we could ever find out was the watchers cast it and the watchers did the bomb to cut down the number of girls.  They tried to burn the younger ones in a basement.  With Dawn."

"Oh, dear."  He nodded.  "They were consolidating their power and wanted it to be one instead of many.  Probably fearing having so many could bring worse threats."

"Cleveland saw it the same way.  Too many girls is a temptation for bad things."

"I agree, it can be, but not this way.  They're spread out a bit and they're still learning here."

Xander smiled.  "Exactly."

"I do understand.  What of the future ones?"

"We're locating and keeping track of potentials now.  We're working out what to tell them, how to tell them, who goes to tell them, all that.  Plus what to do if they want to stay home and train instead of coming to us to train.  Like the youngest one is."

Thomas smiled.  "That's excellent.  Much easier on the finances too probably."

"Probably, at least on the food bill," Xander said dryly, cracking him up.  "Okay, you do..."  He waved a  hand.  "That.  You let me know."

"I shall.  It shouldn't take us too long.  I'll have Earl and Leslie call around.  They're both nice blokes and the others generally liked them.  I know news never reaches some of the farther branches.  Took us three years to hear Travers was in charge."

Xander smirked.  "Took you how long to hate him?"

"Lad, I was trained with him.  A year behind him.  I've hated him since my second day."

"Yeah, took us about that long when we met him too."  He walked off.  "Let me know please.  I've got to call someone about Binky."  He looked outside then at Sam, who was pouting.  "It's called a malicorn and it doesn't mind those who are a bit tainted from hunting or uninnocent."

"That's good to know.  How did it get here?"

"Did you ever read the Phase Series?"

"Um, one part.  Way back when."

"Thomas, the former librarian of the Carribean branch of the old Council, said they did that here in the eleven hundreds."

"Okay," Sam said, nodding a bit.  "That makes sense in a few ways with all the mythical creature myths and legends.  So how did she get here?"

"He said sometimes it happens."  He looked at them then at him.  "Did anyone tell Danny?"

"Nope, we were waiting on you," he said with a grin.

"Gee, thanks.  Really."  He went to take a picture and make sure it turned out then went to call Danny.  "Are you busy?"  He sent him the picture in his email.  "Can you log into your email really fast?  Because the girls want to know if they can keep the new pet Binky."  He smiled.  "Annabelle named it.  She named George too.  Her.  Binky is a her.  No, not a new shrub demon.  Log in, you'll be amused."  He waited, pulling the phone away from his ear at the yelling.  "Yes, she's what you think."  He listened to him rant.  "Thomas, the watcher that got found that used to be the head librarian for the Carribean branch of the old Council, said it happens sometimes.   Something about the Phase Series and the barrier that we put up during the eleven hundreds.  We're not sure we can send her back yet.  He's checking.  She doesn't mind anyone so far that I know of.

"She nuzzles Sam, likes to try to get under Abby's skirt.  She nuzzled me.  She loves on the girls.  We're looking that up too.  Yeah.  Loved Sheppard apparently when he had to pop down to get something."  He smirked.  "That's why I'm asking, Danny.  You're in charge.  I can ask Tony but this would be a long-term decision."  He nodded.  "She's soft.  Let me cuddle and pet her."  He grinned.  "Okay.  We'll see what happens.  Oh, I showed him the probate storage area.  He's doing an inventory and he has a good fifth of his books from down there already on DVD or whatever.  He said he can bring up his own system and get to work on ours."  He beamed at the happier sounds Danny was making while drinking some milk for his stomach.  "Let us know, boss.  If not, maybe I can send her to Angel or Buffy."  He hung up, glancing outside.  "Hey, Anna."

"Can we keep her?"

"Danny's deciding that.  If not, maybe we can send her home or to Buffy?  Buffy could use some happiness and a pet does bring that."

"I don't think she'd mind.  She likes Faith."

"Which is a good sign," he agreed, giving her a hug.  "We'll see what we can do.  Write Danny an email about her and what she likes to do. It might help him decide."  She went to do that while Xander went to the squad room.   "Did anyone even think about telling me about Binky?"

"Nope.  You or Danny," Speed said while he typed.  "Because we didn't want screamed at."

"Danny did some but he's calmer now."  He walked off, going to watch the girls with the new pet.  Why couldn't the girls want a normal pet, like a dog?

***

Danny squeezed his eyes shut, taking off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"Allergies?" Jack asked as he sat across from him.

"No.  New pet on base."

"Godzilla?" he asked.

"No, she's a lot more cuddly than that."

"Is it going to eat someone or everyone?"

"Not as far as anyone can tell."  He shoved his laptop over.  "Annabelle just sent a message begging to keep her.  Xander warned me earlier but it's still ...."  He waved a hand.

Jack got into the email and smiled.  "I like Annabelle.  She's a neat kid."  He read, frowning at it.  "It's a what?"

"Yeah, it's a what."

He kept reading, finding the attached pictures.  "It's cute."

"Xander said it likes to nuzzle Sam and tries to get under Abby's skirt."

Jack smirked.  "Sam's a nice guy most of the time.  Or so he seemed to me."  He went back to reading, laughing at one spot.  "She let it sleep in her bed last night?"

"Hmm," Danny said, nodding a bit.  He sipped his tea.   It was better for his stomach and his nerves had already been shot by his first Congressional testimony.  Jack burst out laughing.  "What?"  He showed him the picture.  "I didn't get that far down."  He stared at the pouty faces of the girls and the pouty unicorn face too.  "We'll see."  He closed the email program.  "So that's what's going on on my base.  Yours?"

"Lots and lots of stuff I can't say in the open," he said dryly.

Danny smiled.  "I remember that feeling."  He took another sip of his tea.  "When do we get released?"

"I thought you were done."

"Me too but they said I can't go home yet."

"You've got good people in charge."  He smirked.  "It was nice she liked Sheppard when he had to come get that thing."

"Maybe if I don't let them keep her, she can go live with him and McKay."

"McKay would kill you, Danny.  It'd be cute, nibbling, and possibly in is way now and then."

Danny smiled.  "Abby wants to recruit him if you ever get done with him."

"They can be us the next generation since I want Sheppard to follow me some year soon."

"He'll gut you, Jack."

"Maybe.  Oh well.  He's got the experience and the attitude."

"Yeah, he would."  He finished his tea.  "Want lunch?"

"Sure."  They ordered and Danny got more tea.  "Stomach upset?"

"Yup."

"Something else or just her?"

"Being here and her.  I had to refuse to answer personal questions about my staff.  Who was where and working on what.  I pointed out I was here so I wasn't sure which team was on base and which wasn't at the moment since I had been here all week.  Someone asked a more personal question about Danny Messer, Xander, and Sam.  I refused to answer that and told them if they wanted to know something about their personal lives to ask them.  Plus Sam wasn't on  my payroll, he was on the Slayers Council payroll."

"Another bad guy?"

Danny nodded.  "We know there's a few.  We'll see what happens."  He sipped his new tea when it was refilled, taking his plate with a smile.  "Thank you," he said quietly.  The waiter put down Jack's plate then left.  Jack's clearly had a note.  "Hmm, ancient messaging system."

Jack read it then handed it over.  He called someone.  "Just appear.  Neither of us do cloak and dagger crap anymore."  He hung up and dug into his lunch.  He was hungry.  He had spent all morning being grilled by two senators who wanted to pinch him.  Neither one his type of dirty old man.  Fornell walked in and sat down.  "You needed a meeting with both of us?"

"I figured you knew whatever was going on at DCIS anyway."  He looked at Danny.  "Yes, there's someone after you."

"Personally, like Kinsey?"

"No, not personally though he's going to be shot soon.  Personally like against your agency.  Even worse than Sheppard was."

"Last I heard, every other agency had said if they got merged with his they'd all quit," Jack said.

"They did and still do.  Doesn't mean there aren't higher ups who aren't nervous because they exist."

"We know a lot of people made deals," Danny assured him.  "Including the guy who just retired."

"Oh, he's one of them.  There's a behind the scenes push to make you guys disband and go away."

"Yet, we do a lot of good work, saved Miami and parts of Minnesota recently, and handle things no one else wants to deal with," Danny said.

"If no one wants to deal with it, no one catches them doing bad things," Jack countered.

"The old system was catching them but they died instead."

"Good point," Fornell agreed.  "Anyway, this is just a warning.  We know there's one on the committee but they all thought you were adorable."

"No, adorable is the new pet out there," Jack assured him.

Fornell snickered.  "I've seen pictures of George.  One of the girls sent one to Merps since he had grown."  Danny got into his email and pulled up the picture of the girls with the unicorn.  His gut twisted and clenched.  "Is that what I think it is?"  Danny nodded, eating another bite.

"Annabelle named her Binky," Jack told him.

"Crap.  Can I copy that?  Gibbs will be amused."  Danny let him copy down the picture and a few others.  "Thanks.  Be careful."

"I'm trying but I made it very clear if anyone tries to hurt me, I'm bringing Xander.  They're mostly still scared of him."  He grinned.

"I'm scared of him.  The kid's strange.  He's bouncy, violent, has skills we could use, acts like one of us, and never had the same training.  He scares every agent in DC and most of the ones in LA.  All but the ones you guys work with."

"He's a nice guy," Danny assured him.  "As long as you're not trying to hurt what he's protecting."

"I can understand that.  His bouncy nature is still creepy."  He got up and left.

Danny put his laptop aside and looked at Jack again.  "Anything new that way that I'll get given to translate?"

"Not in a few days.  Did you get the last stuff done?  McKay wanted to know what that larger work was."

"Smutty romance.  It was pretty well written.  Didn't get to the romance part until near the end.  Until then it was mystery."

Jack shook his head.  "Wonderful."

"One of the longer short pieces was smut so...."  Jack moaned so Danny laughed.  "It was."

"Wonderful!  You sent it to him?"

"I sent the fully translated version to McKay personally.  All of them.  He was amused by all means."

"Did you fix the conflict?"

"Yup.  Sam told them how to.  Charlie Epps came up with a translation algorithm.  That one works well.  Our BAU people borrowed it and him for a few minutes."

"I might have to look into that."

"He's Cordette's older brother."

"Cordette?  Your youngest girl called?"  Danny nodded.  "Then I can find him.  Has she met Binky yet?"

"No.  Alan would kill us.  He's still giving the cat odd looks now and then."

Jack snickered.  "Wonderful."

"Miss Kitty loves her.  And Charlie's sweaters."

Jack ate another bite, shaking his head before he said something.

***

Xander woke up to the insistent poking.  "It had better be good," he mumbled into his pillow.

"Binky got a playmate," Dean said.

Xander looked at him.  "Isn't that Anna's job?"

"No, I mean another like her playmate."

"Fuck."

"Yeah.  Thomas said it might have something to do with balancing out her power here.  Dinky's a male.  He's all white too."

"No way in hell that name's staying," he mumbled.  He got up and pulled on sweats and a t-shirt since he had been naked, heading for where the girls were cooing in their nightgowns of choice.  "Dinky is not a good name," he said.  "No."

"But..." Annabelle started.

"It's a bad thing when you're an adult," Dean said.

"Fine," she said with a pout.  "I wanted them to rhyme.  The only other one I got was a Teletubby name."

"Sorry but no," Xander said.

"Fine."  She went back to petting this one.  Xander frowned.  "We don't know either," she said with a grin.  "But they both love most of us.  The older girls can't get near....  Anyone got a name for him?"

"Digger since we found him trying to dig under the fence with his horn?" one of the guards suggested.

Xander looked at him.  "Any idea where it came from?"

"Flash of light, no portal.  I had one of the guys take Dawn to look at it.  They're on their way back."

"Good.  Digger?" he said, looking at her.

"I guess.  Do you like Digger?" she asked him.  He nuzzled her cheek with his nose.  "Good."   The girls went back to cooing over him.  He was a bit bigger than Binky.  He was also mostly white with a silver mane and tail.  He had a few gray hairs on his left hip.  Digger sniffed at the men but stayed where he was.  "He doesn't like you because you're not innocent.  Or maybe it's because you're not a girl."

Xander sighed, walking off shaking his head.  "Digger has to get the same permission Binky did and you guys are telling Danny."

"We can write him an email," Faith agreed.

Xander checked Dean's watch.  "It's five on the east coast.  Call in a few hours.  Then send pictures."  He went back to bed, falling down onto it to go back to sleep.  It was really early in the midwest.  He deserved some sleep before the girls drove him nuts.

Dean looked at the girls.  "Bed."  They pouted.  "You can pet him tomorrow.  Bed!" he ordered with a point.

"You're being mean," Amber sniffed.

"The squealing woke me up.  Bed."  They huffed off to bed.  Digger even followed Binky, nudging her with his nose.  They stayed down  with George in the tv room.  Dean did a bed check then went to his own bed.  How his father slept through that....  Must have ear plugs in like Wes did.

Dawn walked in and smiled at the unicorns.  "It was very nice of you to seal the hole after yourself, precious."  She petted them both and George before heading up to her room.  She could use a nap.

***

John came down the stairs for breakfast, rubbing his eyes.  He stopped when he saw something in the tv room.  He backed up to get a better look.  He stared, mouth slightly open, wanting to ask a question but he was going to hope they didn't answer.  He walked off shaking his head, going to breakfast and coffee.  He sat down across from his younger son.  "There's two four-footed creatures in the tv room for a reason?"

"They showed up."

"When?"

"Early this morning for Digger, the white one.  The other, Binky, showed up about six am yesterday.  Where have you been?  I thought you talked to Xander about Binky."

"Flu medicine."

"I forgot you were sick."  He handed over the coffee.  "We have no idea.  All we know is they showed up."

Dean walked Dawn in.  "How did they get here?"

"Small rip in the gateway and they closed it behind themselves," she said.  The girls all cheered.  "Doesn't mean we can't reopen it if we have to."  They pouted.  "I'm not the one who says if you can have them or not."  She sneezed.  Sam handed her some hot tea.  "Thanks, Sammy."  She sat down to sniffle her way through breakfast then went back to bed.

"We'll be getting flu shots," Chase said from their table.

"Another shot?" Annabelle whined.

"To keep you from getting that sick," John told her.

"Mean anyway."  She gave him a hug.  "Do you feel better?"

"Mostly.  Did we talk to Doctor Jackson yet?"

"We wrote him an email about both of them but we haven't heard yet."

"I'm sure we will soon."  He patted her on the head.  "Eat."  She dug in then ran over to help her friends outside into the sunshine again.

One of the guards stared at her.  "Go put on a jacket!"  She ran to do that then came back.  "You don't want to be sick, Anna."

"I wanted to play."

"So play.  Just keep your jacket and shoes on."  Xander came wandering past heading for breakfast.  "Morning, Xander."  He grunted and waved.  "You guys got him up when Digger showed up?"  She nodded.  "Poor guy."  He went back to his rounds, letting his boss know where the unicorns were.  Someone would probably want to hurt the little creatures to get their horns or something.  That made them a security risk.  Of course, if anyone tried, Annabelle was going to rip them into tiny pieces for touching her friends.

Xander plopped down in his usual seat, taking the cup of coffee that got pushed in front of him with a grunt and a nod, taking a sip.  "No third one, right?"

"No, no third one," Dean promised.

"Good!"  He smiled and got food, digging in.  A third one would be too strange even for slayers and DCIS.

Tony walked in looking happy.  "Morning, my people."

"Morning," Chase said, smiling some.  "Did you get awed by the cuteness that's Binky and Digger too?"

"Binky and Digger?" he asked.

"He's been off on a two-day drive," Sam called over.

"They're outside playing with Annabelle," Speed told him with a point.  "Probably in the slayer's courtyard."

Tony went to look.  He came back looking very confused.  "Why are there two ponies with stuck-on horns?"

"They're not," Danny Messer told him.  "They're unicorns."

Tony laughed.  "They're mythical."

"Apparently not as much as we thought," Chase said.   "The gray one is Binky.  The other is Digger?"  The girls all nodded.  "He showed up this morning.  She showed up yesterday."

"Miss two days and see what happens?" Don Flack teased.

Ryan looked down at him.  "Even I'm freaked out by the cuteness, guys."

Tony shuddered.  "I'll think about that after coffee."  He sat down to have some and some food to coat his stomach so the caffeine wouldn't eat through it.

Annabelle ran in to the cook's window.  "Do we have anything Binky and Digger could eat?" she asked him.

"Salad stuff but they can get that by nibbling the grass."

"They said the grass has funny stuff.  They won't eat it."

Xander lifted his head to look at her.  "Are you actually talking to them?  Like they're answering?"

"Well, no, but they won't eat it and they give it disgusted looks so I'm guessing they said the grass tastes and smells funny from the stuff they put on the lawn last week."

"Take them out the back forty of the base," John told her.  "Back where we don't mow real often."  She beamed and took the box of needs-cooked oatmeal the cook handed her on the way out.   He looked at Xander.  "She's going to scream if she can't keep them."

"I've already asked Danny for permission."

"If you want mine, you've got it," Messer joked.

"The other one."  Xander looked back at him.  "Unless you want to sit in the big office?"

"Hell no!"

"Then no, only he can say if the girls get to keep Binky and Digger."

Don shook his head.  "It'll be okay.  If not, maybe they can go to Cleveland?"

"That's what I was thinking.  Alan would gut us if we sent them to Cordette to play with Miss Kitty."  Dawn choked.  "You okay?" he asked.

"No."  She took her breakfast off with her so she could go back to bed.  She clearly needed a nap.

House walked in happy and smug this morning.  "Ah, we had a good day off base yesterday.  Were you all miserable while I was off having fun?"

"No, mostly we were watching the girls with the new pets," Chase told him.

"Bunny rabbits?  They'd like to hide in George."

"No, unicorns."

House scowled at him, checking his forehead for a fever with his wrist.  "You don't look sick.  Dizzy, faint?  Flu symptoms?  Feel like your brain's bleeding?"

Tony got up and walked him out to show him.  Annabelle was walking them around the building.  "The gray one is Binky.  The other's Digger.  Or so I was told."  House let out a small whimpering sound that sounded slightly like 'aww' and then a shudder.

"Xander had to put his foot down about the name Dinky," Dean said as he joined them.  "C'mon, Anna, we'll go find them some good grazing area."  He walked her off, taking her to help them.  Though they were eating the oatmeal out of her hand.

Tony patted House on the back.  "See what you miss by being gone for a day?"

House took pictures with his phone and emailed them to Wilson.  "He'll never believe this."  He walked back inside to get some breakfast.  "We made sure they don't have fleas or other things we'll have to treat?" he asked his student.

"We did.  We also drew some blood from Binky to make sure she was healthy.  Abby did anyway.  She's perfectly healthy as far as we can tell.  Young, a bit bouncy, likes to play with all the girls.  Digger probably will too."

"He won't let the older girls with boyfriends or any of the adults touch him," Faith called over.  "He's a traditional unicorn.  Unlike Binky, who's a bit freaky since she likes to nuzzle me."

"And me," Sam agreed, finishing his coffee.  "It's Sunday, go do chores when you're done, girls."  They finished up and went to do that then went to find the unicorns to play with.  Sam patted Xander on the arm.  "It's all right.  We'll deal with it and them."

Xander looked at him.  "Unicorns and horses take a lot more work than shrub pets."

"They do.  Has anyone told Wes yet?"

"I had to tell Danny.  John can tell Wes."

"Sure," John sighed, shaking his head.  "It's a good way to teach them responsibility.  We'll have to remind the girls they can't say anything to the school kids."  He finished up and went to check out the creatures at a closer distance.  Binky came trotting over to love on him so he petted her.  "You're adorable."  He checked, Dean wasn't puking at the cuteness so it was all right so far.  He smiled down at her.  "Go graze, sweetie."  She went back to it.  "You still have to get permission from Wes and Danny."

"Shoot."  She pouted.  "Do you think Wes will mind?"

"I don't know.  I'm going to tell him soon."

"Oooh, on the tv room computer is pictures for him.  We sent them to Danny."

"Sure.  Be safe out here.  Dean, watch for snakes?"

"It's too chilly for most of them to be in the open."  He made shooing motions so John walked off.  "We'll handle it, Anna."  She gave him a hug then went back to playing with her friends.

John tapped on Wesley's door, getting a tired looking man.  "There's new pets you have to help approve of."

"More shrubs?"

"No."  He walked down to the tv room, turning on the computer and finding the pictures.  He pulled up the folder in a viewer and let him have the chair. "Binky and Digger."

Wesley looked, then frowned at him.  "Excuse me?"

"That's Digger.  He showed up this morning from what I heard.  Binky showed up yesterday sometime apparently.  I had the flu and was in bed or sleepwalking apparently."

Wesley paged through the pictures, frowning greatly.  "Where are they now?"

"Anna's helping them graze.  We're waiting on Doctor Jackson's final decision."

"Ah."  He rubbed his head.  "If they're staying we'll have to make accommodations for them."   He stood up and went back to his room to finish having his migraine.  "Thank you, John."

"Welcome."  He smiled.  That was fairly easy.  It was a good sign.

***

Danny woke up to a poke, glaring at Jack.  "I will zat you," he snarled.

Jack handed him coffee.  "The girls carbon copied their last email to you into my email.  You'll want that.  There's a second cup waiting."

"Did Binky decide to eat someone after all?"

"No."

Danny sat up with a moan, drinking his coffee.  It had been a short night and he had gotten a bit drunk so he was not a happy camper this morning.  Jack poured the second cup into his mug when he got finished.  Danny drank it more slowly then Jack handed him the laptop when it was done, taking the cup with him when he fled the hotel room.  Danny opened his email, finding a bunch of 'they're cute' messages from his guys.  "It's good Binky has your support," he muttered.  He opened up the new one from the girls that was titled 'guess what'.  That was a scary thought.  That phrase usually started off a bad case Xander had to use weapons on.  He read it slowly.  Then he quit squinting and put on his glasses, sure he hadn't seen that.  He reread it, then he burst out laughing until he saw the pictures.   He called Xander.  "If one more pet shows up on base, the answer is going to automatically be no.  We'll see when I get home.  Why two?"  He told him why Thomas thought.  "Uh-huh.  Okay.  We'll see when I get home."  He hung up and put his laptop aside, taking off his glasses and going back to bed.  His hangover was too bad for this discussion.

Why couldn't the slayers want a normal pet?  Like a dog?  Or even a ferret?

***

Xander saw Danny's car pull back in a few days later and he pointed toward the back lot.  "They're grazing."

"Why two?"

"Thomas said it was probably to balance out the power the one brought.  We know Digger is a traditional unicorn.  Won't let anyone but virgins near him.  Binky loves everyone, especially Abby's skirts."

"Is she complaining?"

"Not often."  He smiled.  "She got grumpy once and Binky nuzzled.  She cooed instead."

"Wonderful. Anything else I should know?"

"I asked Dawn.  The guard had her check the area they came from.  They sealed the hole behind them."

"So no more unicorns?"

"No, but she wasn't going to rule out that being a thin spot."

"Why?"

"Because...  As Thomas told me, did you ever read the Phase series?"

"I looked up the first book in it when you mentioned it the first time.  And?" he asked calmly.

"Apparently the watchers and others did that during the eleven hundreds.  They came from over there.  They did it because we'd all die if they all died.  Something to do with them holding the power steady or something.  Didn't get that part.  Was confused.  Didn't ask Abby either but I will if you want."

"I'll let him tell me.  So they removed them all to keep them safe because keeping them safe and healthy means we won't die?" he suggested.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Why the migration?"

"Don't know.  Have no clue, no way of finding out, no idea.  Dawn thought about trying to scry but the wall's still too thick.  If I had to guess, I'd say they were a bit on the high population side or those two got curious.  He said every now and then one pops across."

"Are they dangerous to us?"

"Only if hunters find them.  We're probably the safest place for them."

"Okay.  Can we send them back?"

"Not without opening the wall and that comes with a risk of it falling completely.  Then we'll have dragons in New York and other neat manifestations.  We haven't tried to find that spell yet, just in case.  Because wild hair up the ass syndrome is still floating around."

Danny shuddered.  "That's a very bad picture."  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Now what?"

"Now, Wes said he'd talk to you about how to manage them staying.  He said something about needing a barn and getting permission for where to build it."

"Yes, horses need barns."

"How would I know, Danny?  This is the first time I've gotten anywhere near an equine that wasn't in a book."

"I can see that.  Anything else?"

"New watchers are all research watchers.  We have five, one's the former head librarian in the Carribean office.  The others are calling around.  Wes has already done ISC paperwork with them.  We've got to figure out where they're living and if they're living on base or not."

"Which would go along with the other issue of what happens if there's more trainee watchers coming," he decided.  "We can figure that out later.  Let me park."

"I figured you'd want briefed so you could think before you talked to us."

"I did.  Thanks, Xander. And for the emails."

"I let the girls do their own begging since they made me tell you."  He walked off.  "No new cases as of ten minutes ago, boss.  One team out for court, one on a case."

"Thanks."  Danny brought his stuff up to his apartment, staring at the back lot of the  base.  He could barely see the unicorns but they were frolicking and it looked like House was watching them.  He headed out that way, finding the guards watching them and House, looking amused at the grumpy doctor's presence.  "Need hairs to test?"

"Abby gathered some from Binky.  I'm glad Xander put his foot down so they don't rhyme."  He looked at him.  "Long week?"

"I hate DC."  Binky came trotting over to sniff him.  "I know I smell strange.  It's from the last job," he said when she stopped a few feet away.  He squatted down, holding out a hand.  "I'm not mean, Binky."  She cautiously stepped closer to sniff then ran off.  Digger came back with her and they both sniffed, then she got a nudge from Digger so she let him pet her.  He smiled.  "I know.  The last job made me smell funny.  It's all right."  He scratched behind an ear, making her tip her head.  "You're very smart."  He smiled and she trotted off.  He stood up.  "So."

"They're nice enough pets, but aren't they dangerous to have?"

"Xander said only if hunters heard and came for them."

"Sending them back?"

"Could bring down the shield around their herd lands.  Which would mean dragons in New York and probably whole herds near here.  No telling what would be around your hospital."

House moaned.  "I can see Cuddy's face if a dragon appeared inside the hospital.  The screaming would know no end and somehow she'd blame it on me."

Danny nodded.  "Those things, I blame on Xander."  House snickered.  "I can, he said so."  Digger sniffed at him then went back to nibbling on the grass.  "Are they healthy?"

"I'm not a vet."

"I figure Abby looked it up."

"As far as she can tell they are."  He looked at the boss.  "Can I bring someone out to visit?"

"Sure.  They can have your couch."

"That'll work."  He walked off, picking his way carefully so he didn't trip.  "Have fun."

"Ooh, probably not."  He went up to his office, finding the stack of forms Tony had left with a note saying he had signed off on them.  There was a small stack of forms in the middle of his desk that had a note on top saying 'read and sign please' and one to the right of his desk blotter that said 'information you need to hear about sometime'.  He started with the read and sign papers to get them out of the way.  Leave forms.  That was easy enough as long as they didn't leave them short.  Speed and Ryan going to Miami for two weeks.  Danny and Don going back to New York for two weeks.  Both around their contract times and all of them had post-its on them that said their departments were setting up a local office to handle it in-city if necessary.  They were going back to help with that.  He called Ryan.

"If you're going back to deal with that, you could probably count that as working, Ryan."  He leaned back to listen to him.  "I can see how that happens and it's a good idea," he agreed.  "Sure, if you want to come back I'm all for it.  You guys all do good work and I know your friends are putting pressure on you to go home again.  Not a  problem.  Should I hear anything from you guys about a case?"  He found the information pile's part from him.  "Got it.  Thanks."  He hung up and signed off on all those and the other leave form, for Chase.   He called down there.  "Heading home for good or just a visit?"  He nodded.  "You forgot an end date."  He smiled at the 'if they drive me nuts I'll be back sooner' answer.

"You could invite them out.  We wouldn't mind."  He laughed.  "They can have your couch or stay in town.  There's a small motel.  Sure, let me know or I'll sign this today."  He hung up and put it aside, going to the information pile.  That had things he had to know.  Which case the one team was on and why.  Information on the newest Watchers.  That Xander did not have to show up physically for the probate, he could call in.  The judge had agreed since his frequent flier miles were so high already plus he had to testify a few days later in Miami.  He went over the report forwarded by Abby from McKay, smiling at it.  "It's good someone up there liked the romance."  He kept reading, finding a slayer dream included that had a shadowy threat, no clear identification, but it was about him.  So he put that aside to go over later with the girl in question.

Wesley leaned in.  "Ready for me?"

"I just got done with the information sheets on the new watchers.  Congratulations."

"Thank you.  They're wonderful and most have sense.  I sent the one that didn't to Rupert to help him."  He sat down.  Xander strolled in a minute later with coffee for him and Danny and tea for him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He sat down.  "Hi, boss."

"Hi, Xander.  The new watchers are doing good?"

"They're doing excellent.  They've already gone through all the probate storage area to sort out the books.  The Carribean library is coming up.  He's got a fifth of that already on DVD or whatever."

"What format?"

Xander shrugged.  "I didn't ask.  I have no idea about that stuff.  I figured you or Wes would talk to them about translating it if it wasn't a good one for us or make us copies if it was."

"We can," Danny agreed.  "Will he need equipment?"

"He's bringing his up."

"Even better.  How many books did they find in the probate stuff?"

"Over seven thousand," Wesley said happily.  "I've been digging now and then but I hadn't the time to do it for real.  They've sorted it all out and will continue to when the new things come in after this round."

"Which I don't have to fly out for," Xander said happily.

"You still need a suit to testify," Danny warned.

"Crap."

Danny smiled.  "Get one that's comfy."  He sipped his coffee.  "So they won't need much from DCIS itself?"

"No, though the question has been raised about housing."

"As it should be.  You guys are trying to hire watchers to train as well.  We're going to be taking one of the old buildings that wasn't reformatted and turn it into more apartments for the new team coming in.  Would it insult them to have to live in their own building?  We can let you build your own back in the empty spaces."

"That wouldn't bother us at all," Wesley agreed. "Then when we're all in Cleveland, we can sell it back to the base?"

"Sure," Danny agreed. "By then we might need more."  That got a nod from both of them.  "Secondly, if the unicorns are staying, we'll have to put up a proper shelter for them plus look into food sources."  He took another drink.  "If the girls are keeping them."

"It shouldn't be that hard to put up a small shelter," Xander told him.  "I can probably do that over a weekend.  We won't need many stalls, right?"  They shook their heads.  "Then a big, open building with hay or whatever should do and it can do if we have visiting demons who use that sort of housing?  Like for a treaty?"

"That would be fine, Xander," Danny said.  "The girls really want to keep them?"

"They've been sleeping on the girls' bed and George is attached.  I told them you had the final decision because it's your base."

"Gee thanks."

"Sorry, but you're in command here," Xander pointed out.  "I did say if we couldn't keep them then they might go to Cleveland."

"Rupert would kill you," Wesley assured him.  "The girls would never get anything done from all the cooing over them."

"I almost threatened to send them to Angel and Connor but I figured Connor would come hurt me."

"Most likely Angel himself would, Xander.  He doesn't really deal very well with fluffy, gentle things," Wesley said dryly.  He looked at Danny.  "We'll see what we can work out in our budget."

"Xander, didn't you win...."

Xander shook his head quickly.  "All stored away already, boss.  Really.  I took it all to a guy there and paid the taxes on it, all that.  I can't touch it a whole lot."

"That's probably the best idea to save you aggravation," Danny agreed.  He finished his cup of coffee.  "Anything else I should know?"  They shook their heads.  "Then pick out a spot and get me building plans, guys."  They nodded, heading out to figure out where to put everyone with their input.  Plus where to put the barn.  Danny wrote an email to Jack, going to take film of the two playing in the grass so he could send it on.

***

Jack looked up at the video conference system came on.  "Sheppard."

"General.  How's Binky?" he asked with a grin.

"Binky and Digger are both fine.  Danny just sent me film of them."  He forwarded the file over.  "When he first heard he muttered about sending them to you."

"Fat chance," Sheppard said dryly.  "We have enough food issues without pets."

Jack smirked.  "They're very protective pets."

"So is George.  He'd eat less too."

"Good point."  He shook his head.  "What happened?"

"You want the short, non-detailed version or the long?"

"I should groan like Hammond did the last time I asked that question.  Short and to the point please?"

"We were attacked.  We're all fine.  Minor injuries.  Tiff's got some battle trauma.  Her four months for the first stretch are coming up.  We were going to send her back with McKay, who is coming back in three weeks.  Do you want me to accompany him or not?"

"Whatever you feel like.  You could rotate others out too if you needed to."

"I've got a few who're coming home on the next ship.  Not from injuries but because they're burnt out.  We gave them three weeks."  Jack nodded.  "Thank you."

"People need breaks," he told him.  "Especially from a dangerous, combat ready, position."  He held up the email for supplies.  "Unacceptable."

"Why?"

"Won't fit on the ship."

"Why not?"

"Because you're getting some new testing equipment."

"Oh.  Well, we need the food shipment sooner instead of later.  The testing equipment can come back with the people who'll probably be using it."

"True.  I'll do what I can.  What about the girl?"

"Her contract ends in another two weeks.  So if she doesn't come back, we'll talk with her."  That got a nod.  "She has said she wouldn't say anything.  She thinks we're all weird and has some sort of strange crush on McKay."  Jack burst out laughing.  "It's hero worship, I know that, but she tries harder to be impressive for him.  It's nice.  He hasn't had anyone flirt with him in years."  He smirked before signing off.  He walked down to the labs.  "Do you want me to come help or not?"

"Not," he said, giving him a look.  "The girls will only coo over you."

"True.  We got offered a pet."

"Dear lord not George," he said.  Tiff scowled at him.  "It's an odd little shrub."

"No, not George.  They got a few other pets.  I saw one when I had to retrieve our weapon."

"I have no idea how that happened."

"Them either."  He gave him an odd look.  "Tiff, you packed?"  She nodded.  "Good.  We leave at 0700, local time."  They both nodded and he got back to instructing her in how to prepare samples for him.   Sheppard walked off shaking his head.  Between Teyla and McKay, she was turning back into a pretty decent young woman.  Xander and Wesley would definitely see some positive changes.

***

Xander walked into the girls' dorm on Sunday morning.  "If we're keeping Digger and Binky, you're helping me build them a shelter," he yelled.  "Otherwise they're going to Cleveland or to live with Tiff!"  Girls came piling down the stairs to help him build them a barn.  John too because Brenda pulled him.  He smirked.  "Good, another instructor in how to hammer in a nail straight.  Get the boys?"  He paged them and they got to work on the shelter's materials.  He showed them what to do and they got down to building walls for him.  He had been preparing the ground and fences were ready to be put up too.  Pretty soon they had the walls ready to lift.  Fortunately the girls were super strong and he could nail while they held them.  John and Dean took other walls to do the same thing.  Then they connected the walls.  He showed them the next step and they got to work on it.  With all of them working it'd only be a day to get them a real barn.  He went up to do the dangerous part, putting on the roof.  Fortunately they made pre-cut arches for roofs.  He nailed them into place, accepting the wood up to cover the bare bones.  Then Sam came up to help him with Dawn.  "I'm so glad I taught you how to fix things, Dawnster."

She smirked.  "It was self defense.  Buffy breaks things."

"Yes she does.  Especially in a house crammed full of slayers."  He shuddered and got to work on his plywood.  It was nearly lunch by the time they got that done.  "Let's break for lunch," he called.  The girls ran off.  He shook his head, climbing down and steadying the ladder for the other two.  "It's not too bad so far.  We'll have to reinforce the walls from the inside in case of a bad wind storm but it should hold."  They nodded and went to lunch with him.  A few girls were complaining about smashed fingers and thumbs, or sore shoulders, but oh well.  They wanted the unicorns, they could upkeep them.  After lunch, John shooed everyone back to work.  They got the roof covered and shingled.  The sides were covered in tongue-and-groove clapboard looking siding.  Easily installed for the girls.  The inside was braced in a few good ways and the roof got a few beams nailed into the wooden subfloor.  Then the rest of the floor got mixed.  Concrete was more practical.  It was poured in a thin layer, only an inch thick, and everything was allowed to dry while they finished the outside.  They could finish that in the morning.

"Xander, we don't really have sword work practice, do we?" Annabelle asked.

"Hell yes," John told her.  "No slacking.  You don't know when it'll come in handy."

"Yes, John."  She gave him a hug then her friends, who had been watching while grazing.  "That's going to be the place where you guys can sleep inside."  She petted them and went to dinner.  Then sword practice and bed.  They were all exhausted tonight.

***

Danny came out to okay the barn, smiling at the nice shelter.  It wasn't that high but the unicorns were tiny.  There were a few stall-like areas but the majority of the floor had clean hay.  It also had drains and stacks of hay around the walls for extra insulation.  "This is nice."  Xander beamed.  "You guys did a great job.  The fences?"

"Stick in and put together."

"Good."  He patted him on the back.  "Nice job, Xander."  He beamed.  "Now all we need to do is to make them use it."

"They just left to graze."  He shrugged.  "But we do have to set a rotation of cleaning."  Danny smirked and nodded.  "What's wrong?"

"Some funny meter readings in the lab are driving Abby nuts.  I was trying to calm her down again.  You know, when I first heard that the girls got pets, I had the picture of George walking a dog on a leash."  Xander cackled, shaking his head.  "I did."  He patted him again.  "Good job.  Now, we've got of fill in for Ryan, Speed, Danny, and Don while they're off for the next few weeks."

"My team is clear."

"Good.  Excellent.  Tony's is in the field.  They're headed to DC for the trial.  That one that summoned something to eat military personnel and a stockbroker.  The rest will sub in."  Xander nodded.  "Your team may have a research case unless we get something truly horrible in."

"Sure, that's what we expect."  He opened the door.  "Guys, like it?"  They both neighed at him and came in to play with the hay. After nosing it around they settled in for a nap.  "Think oats would be okay?"

"I think it's the usual horse food.  I'm not sure if unicorns need something else.  If they don't like it, they'll tell us."

"Okay."  He left, leaving the door open.  The fence was quickly put in and the barriers between the posts stuck into place.  It wasn't meant to be a strong fence, more decorative so no one would put things in their paddock.  Then he went to ask John and Wesley what horses ate.  He had no idea.  He had never been near horses in the past.

***

Rodney McKay stepped off the transport at the DCIS base with Tiff helping him carry samples.  He frowned at the new building he could see behind the main one.  "Is that a small barn?"

"Yup.  Looks like it."  Tiff shrugged.  "Who knows.  Maybe it's a new training area."  They walked up to the lab, where Abby babbled too fast for even McKay to catch it.  She rubbed her ears.  "Who're Digger and Binky?"

"The new pets."

"Sheppard said he had seen Binky," McKay said.  She took their hands and drug them out there to introduce them.  He stared as they got closer.  Then he nearly whimpered in fear.  "This cannot be a good thing."

"It's a fine thing!  Binky can be petted by anyone she likes and Digger is a traditional unicorn but it's okay."

Tiff stared, then shook her head quickly.  "Superglue?" she asked Rodney.

He stared.  "No, they move too much."

She frowned, watching them.  Binky, the gray one, ran over to sniff them, nearly knocking the poor astrophysicist over.  "Hey!  Don't knock him down.  He's fragile."  Binky stared at her then moved closer.  "Please don't stab me?  I don't want to visit Doctor House ever again."  Binky nuzzled and she nearly burst out crying in fear.

"Binky, she's not used to soft, squishy feelings," Abby said.  The unicorn went to play with the other new pet.  "Shh, it's all right."  She called Buffy.  "Hey, it's Abby.  Tiff's back for a short vacation and I heard she might want to talk to you too."

"Buffy, Binky tried to eat me!" she complained.

"Sure, you can call Dawn but she's in class."  She hung up, giving her a hug.  "She did not."

"She did so.  She was checking me for tenderness.  Like she is him."  She helped him up, putting him behind her.  "Please don't eat us?"  A portal opened beside where she was.  "Buffy, make it stop!"

Buffy looked then 'awww'd.  That brought the others.

"Dear me, are those both unicorns?" Giles asked.

"Yup, but Binky will let anyone she likes pet her," Abby said happily.  "Digger is a traditional one."  Buffy let the little unicorn pet her.  "Awww, she likes you."

Faith came over to look.  "Ladies, let's not crowd the girls' pets?" she called.  They went to pet the other one, those who could, and the rest got Binky.

McKay backed away slowly.  Tiff helped by guarding him.  "Let's go back to the lab before my brain quits working for a bit, shall we?"  They fled.  She understood him perfectly.  Squishy feelings had no place in science; that was such a dreadful sight he'd have to shut down soon to reboot his brain so the virus the squishy feelings started would be eliminated.

Abby shook her head, following more sedately.  "I'll come play later, guys."  They both bleeted at her and went back to playing with their new pets.  All the girls loved them.

"Cordette is going to freak when she meets them," Buffy said.

"That's why she's in LA," Faith reminded her.  "Nice barn though.  We did a great job."  Giles gave her an odd look.  "They had been sleeping in the dorm.  Annabelle insisted."

"I see."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Perhaps I'll go have a lie down," he decided, going to his room to do that.  Before the headache turned into a migraine.

The portal closed and they were all left there until Dawn got off school.  They didn't mind.  The babies were so cute!  "You should have told us," Buffy complained.

"Sorry, had to get official permission.  Anna pouted for days waiting on Jackson's decision."  She gave Binky a pet and went to make sure Tiff was all right.

"The girls with the pets?" Benny Ray asked when they met in the halls.

"All the ones from Cleveland are cooing and petting them."  He snickered.  "It's nice we all go gushy over them."  She went to send the email they had sent to Danny to Cordette's big brother once she had edited the message.  He'd appreciate her not getting it directly.

***

Connor looked over as Charlie rolled back to check his email.  They were going over why there was an upswing in activity recently.  He was confused by all the math but his girlfriend seemed to like it.  He saw the horrified look.  "Big problems?" he asked hopefully.  It'd give him something to pound on or kill.  Much better than math giving him a headache.

"No," he said.  "The slayers in North Dakota got a few new pets."  The girls came to look over his shoulder.

"Awww!" Crissy cooed. "They're adorable."

"They're mythical and can't exist," Charlie told her.

"Anna said something about the horn being scratchy," she said dryly.  "I didn't understand."  She called Wesley.  "You didn't tell us about the new pets.  Are they soft?"  He told her to call Buffy's phone, she was playing with them.  She called Dawn instead and got sent there to play with them too.

Connor gave them an odd look but sighed, shaking his head.  "I'm not going near that."  One came over to sniff him and he nearly ran back to the office, the portal closing after him.  "It wanted to cuddle."

Charlie nodded once then he forwarded the message to his father.  He'd consider that a warning that Cordette would want a new pet too.  Miss Kitty was enough of one.

***

Somewhere else in LA, Alan Epps opened his email and frowned at the message.  "New pets?" he muttered.  "Why?"  He scanned down to the pictures, then paused and looked at one.  Even enlarged it.  "Huh?"  He looked around.  "Megan, can I have Don for a minute?  It's a message Charlie forwarded."

"Sure," she agreed, leaving him alone for a minute.

His son came over a minute later.  "Your eyes are sharper than mine.  Is that what I think it is?"

"I'm hoping that's a statue."

"No."  He paged up so he could read the message.

Don looked at it then at his father.  "One tried to attack Connor?"

"It probably tried to sniff him and he got scared.  The kid doesn't understand most normal things, still."  He pointed.  "Cordette's not allowed in North Dakota for a while."

"Agreed," he said.  "Unless you want to build a barn?"

"Don't even think about it, Don."  Megan came over to look then giggled.  "The other slayers' new pets.  Binky and Digger."

She burst out giggling.  "Only slayers could have unicorns as pets."  She walked off shaking her head.  She had heard about George.  He seemed like a nice pet.  These probably were too.

Don looked at her back.  "You need a vacation."

"Yay me," she shot back, waving back at him.

Don looked at his father.  "I've got your back about keeping her from them, Dad."  He walked off shaking his head. Colby gave him a questioning look.  "The rest of the slayers have new pets.  Binky and Digger.  Corette's going to want one or five of her own."

"Wonderful."  He patted him on the back.  "Stand strong in the face of the pout, man.  It's all you can do."  They got back to looking at the map for problem areas.  They'd had a rash of people doing stupid things recently.

***

Danny landed in New York and sighed as his home greeted him the usual way: noise and a mugger trying to outrun a cop.  He tripped him and walked off.  Don laughed, grabbing their bags so they could find whoever was there to pick them up.  Turns out it was Sheldon.  "Short straw?" Danny asked.

"I had to pout them into it," he said. "Then we somehow got someone hanging off a major building with no visible means of support."  Don nodded at that.  "Want to hit the lab or wherever you guys are crashing for the next few weeks?"

"Lab," Danny said.  "We'll check in later."  That got a nod and they headed for the official SUV.  Sheldon handed over their ID badges. "Yuck, old picture."

Don looked at his.  "Mine's my rookie one."  He looked at Danny's.  "Yours is more recent than mine."

"You're both still young.  Though you look tired."

"We helped the girls build a barn for their new pets yesterday afternoon then sword practice," Don told him.

"New pets?"  He backed out of his spot and merged with the traffic in the parking area, heading out of it.

"Yeah, somehow we got two small unicorns that decided to adopt the girls."  Sheldon gave him an odd look.  Danny pulled out pictures.  "You brought pictures of Binky and Digger?" Don asked, looking amused.

"Hell yes.  Stella can coo."

"Good point."  Don and he shared a smirk.  DCIS would drive Mac insane at times.  "Did they give us an actual office?"

"A small one but yes," Sheldon promised. They paid their fee and got onto the road.  "How are things out there otherwise?"

"The girls have finally started to calm down.  Going to normal school is good for them.  Gives them a chance to stare at others instead of us," Don said.

"They haven't panty raided in over a month," Danny agreed.  "Cases are cases.  Fortunately we're in a slump since the thing  hyping things is dead after that last case in Miami."

Don shuddered.  "Don't remind me."

"I've heard Horatio, down in their labs, can be a bit strict," Sheldon said.

"Nah, he was nice.  He's come up on a case before.  He and Mac are friends."  Danny grinned.  "The girls all seemed to respect him and none of them hit on him.   The slayers on the case with us even did a really good job outlining where all the demons in Miami were and getting him a profile of the higher ones down there."

"Faith colored in a map after patrol," Don told him.  "That way he knows where the demon college is and the common living areas, the areas for problems like vampires.  All that.  Plus they integrated and kept him well informed during the case. That way he could tell other Feds so we didn't have to run into them.  Especially after the ascensions."

"Glad I missed those," Danny admitted.  "Artillery is not my forte."

"Artillery?"

"Person turning into a giant snake demon," Danny said.  "There's a few different ways and it depends on which way as to how big you become.  Takes decades ta do."

"We had one we knew of and another one popped up on us," Don agreed.  "The last step can only happen during eclipses.  The last one was in DC that we knew of."

"Wow."

"Yeah.  Both of those were in the medium size class.  Around sixty, Danny?"

"Abby said one was sixty-one, one was fifty-eight feet.  Probably the same ritual."  That got a nod.  "Dean made a mess with the artillery.  Faith too."

"She was so happy she got to fire something at the second one," Don said with a grin.

"Big girls with big toys," Danny quipped back.  "All the slayers love weapons after a certain age."

"Xander too," Don pointed out.

"If Jackson can't find us another arms master, it'll end up being Xander."

"Probably.  Any word on the aging out stuff?"

"She turns twenty-three in fourteen days," Danny said.  "Then we'll see.  The new librarian guy, Thomas, told him that the slayer spirit doesn't enter the new girl to prep her for being called until sometime between three days and six months after her birth.  Apparently whenever she's pinpointed it goes."

"So depending, it'll be a bit for us to make sure."  Danny pushed his glasses back up his nose.  "I'm not sure I like the new frames on you."

"Not like you usually stare into my eyes, Don."

"Point."  He grinned again.  "Need them adjusted."

"I'll have time during the trip I'm sure."  He leaned forward to get closer to Sheldon.  "Stella been bouncy or anxious?"

"Bouncy.  Very bouncy.  Teenager on sugar bouncy."  He grinned at him for a second then went back to driving.  "How is it really?"

"It's not bad," Don told him.  "It's the same thing we do here plus some research cases we only have to look up and send back.  We do try to arrest unless they're actively killing or we have to hunt.  The jail's getting a good rep among the demons.  They tried to have an earth demon break into it and ran into Xander and Dawn.  The newest resident was not happy to fix his problems and then take up residence."

"Dawn's compulsion was a bit strong," Danny reminded him.  "She made it sing the whole time."

Don smirked at him.  "Danny said it was an unusual punishment to the rest of us so he made her stop it."

"Good!"  He smirked. "Tiff's back."

"She back to human?"

"Abby sent me an email.  Binky loved McKay, knocked him down to play with him. She ended up guarding him all the way inside because Binky scared them both."  Don cackled at that.  "I'm so proud of the little 'corns."

"I still can't believe you guys have unicorns," Sheldon said.  He changed lanes and pulled onto an off-ramp.  "Nearly there."

"Eeeh, we're about two hours from a regional airport," Don told him.  "We're used to traveling."

"Thankfully no one's been so injured they had to be airlifted recently," Danny said.

"True. Though House is bored."

"Chase said it's normal for him to be bored.  He's handling it with the research time.  He wants to find something to name after himself."

"Chase?  He's cute enough so it'll probably be a demonic STD."

"He'd hate that."

"Yeah but Faith has a *major* crush on him."

"He's gentle but ignoring it."

"Good.  She's a good girl and deserves a nice guy but I think she'd break him."

"At least his back," Danny said dryly.

"Oh, yeah.  Think she and Xander will hit it off again?"

"Nope.  She said she tapped that once and it was great but that was going to send her back to the bad places."

"Good for her.  She learned and rehabbed pretty well after going bad."

"She did.  Think Thomas will have the library on DVD soon?"

"He's got a fifth of his.  He has to get the rest of the books up from the Carribean.  Could be."

"Carribean?" Sheldon asked.

"They found a few of the research watchers were still around.  The present head of the library and five guys from his district all survived.  He was the head librarian for the Carribean branch."

"That's cool.   So he's putting them all on computer?"

"Mostly on DVD so we can scan them easier.  He's also including an original copy and then one translated into English.  The Watchers used a pygmy Latin crossbreed for their books.  All the girls that grew up with them spoke and read it."

"Which was nice since they started out having a few who didn't speak English when they were rescued," Don added.

"Xander was smart about that.  Self-defense for the girls and classes to help them with that and demonology."

"I'm going to miss Sam babbling about demons."

"We're getting the tapes while we're here," Danny assured him.  "Same as Cordette does."  That got a grin.  "She's going to freak if she gets near the unicorns."

"Mary will pout at her younger slayer sibling and Annabelle will peel her off them so she can have her own petting time."

"Annabelle's going to turn them My Little Ponies.  Mary's too quiet to get into much trouble."

"She'll try really hard but John's stopping her.  The boys were the best investment anyone on that base has made."  Danny nodded at that.  "I think it's nice they keep getting Xander into trouble."

"They do?" Sheldon asked.

"Xander was made to take a night off by John, the boy's dad.  He's over the girls in a dad way basically.  Made the boys take Xander to a strip club because he was uptight and tense.  The next morning we're all wondering where they are.  Tony calls up Xander's GPS chip and finds them still there.  He heads out to find them all tired, with swords, surrounded by demon chunks.  The nice, normal, trucker strip joint by the highway turned out to have demons who looked like humans stripping.  They figured out they were DCIS and attacked the boys because one of them had been eating truckers."  Sheldon shuddered.  "One escaped," Danny told him.  "They wouldn't have done anything if not attacked.  From what I heard, Tony gave them towels to come home in because their clothes were nasty and Dean didn't want it in his car.  Dean and Sam also raided the bar on the way out the door to get some free beers."  Don snickered at that.  That was like the boys.

"Wow."

"Nothing on the last vacation," Don told him.  "House, the head doc, decided Xander was stressed.  His heart was going funny from it and lack of sleep or something.  So he sends Xander off on vacation with the boys.  He wasn't there for the earlier one but Xan's well known among the demons for his past hunting.  The boys have their own scary rep among the demons as hunters.  It's considered a safety measure.  They hit Vegas."  Sheldon laughed.  "The casinos are okay.  The boys are losing.  Xander's bored as crap because he doesn't play those sort of games.  Finds a demon casino."  Sheldon moaned. "No, no attacks.  He found a live action role playing quest sorta thing.  Enters it.  Is the first to make it through all twenty-three levels in however long they've been running it."

"The great thing is he doesn't do it in the normal, sword hero, Conan sorta way," Danny agreed.  "One round he won the respect of the dwarves he was supposed ta combat and beat by out drinking them.  He slept with every single tavern wench there was from what we heard.  Sam was betting on what she'd do when Xander tried to leave.  They were more dangerous to him than the creatures."  Don laughed.  "Honestly, girls who like Xander are dangerous and want to kill him. Or us."

"Wow," Sheldon said.  "He okay?"

"Came back with a UTI," Danny told him.  "Ended up with freakish luck.  They leaned on a slot machine and it went off.  So the boys had to leave Vegas and went to do all the theme parks around LA."

"He sounds like an interesting guy," Sheldon told them.

"He's a giant goofball until he's attacked or you attack one of the girls," Don said dryly, shaking his head.  "Xander's a great guy.  Love him like a brother.  Love to have him at my back when a case goes south.  Guy's a bit strange but he hunted demons for seven years before coming to DCIS."

"Half the strange is the girls driving him nuts," Danny told him.

"They can do that," Don agreed.

"How many are there?"

"Fifty-eight total and we have about forty of them on base," Don told him.  "Teenage girls."  Sheldon shuddered. "John keeps a firm line on their collars.  Xander turns into a bastard about training.  Dean helps with that and Sam teaches them demonology with John, but the four of them are the higher authority on the girls' lives.  Giles and Wesley may moan about it but to all the girls, Xander is the head of the Council still."

"They still hate Giles."

Sheldon nodded.  "I remember reading that letter over Stella's shoulder.  It get worked out?"

"Giles is in Cleveland with the older girls.  He's now got a purpose and snapped out of his funk.  So Xander and Wes run most things."  They finally pulled into the parking garage for the lab and got out, grabbing their bags.  No telling who they'd get a ride from to the hotel.  Sheldon got them up to the floor.  "Ah, lab sweet lab.  We haven't had a good lab case in a while."

"Abby's been in research heaven," Don reminded him.

"Yeah.  She likes to stare at House too," Danny shot back, making his friend laugh.  "She does.  She's crushing hard on the snark and the blue eyes."  They found their office door open and Mac waiting.  "We're here.  Run for your lives," he joked.

"I'm hoping you cut down on running for our lives," he joked back, giving them both manly hugs and hand shakes.  "Thanks, Sheldon."

"Not a problem."  He grinned.  "See you guys at the welcome home party."

"Sure.  Just remember, we're in to set up this office," Don told him, giving him a look.  Sheldon nodded at that wisdom.

"And so your Ma can nag," Danny reminded him.

"That too," Don sighed, shaking his head.  "Why did I book a room?"

"Because otherwise your mother will handcuff you with your pop's cuffs?" Danny suggested.

"Good point."  He nodded, cracking Mac up.  "Got a case for us yet?"

"Not yet.  I decided to let you guys go over NYPD rules for the new office and the two other people the Commissioner hired for you to terrorize."

"That works," Don agreed.  Mac paged someone and handed them thin manuals.  "This many rules already?"

"Yes.  Conduct mostly.  We don't talk to demons in interrogation without one of you present.  Those rules."

"I can see that for the bad ones," Danny agreed.  He picked his desk and sat down to go over it.  After a few he picked up a pen and started to make notes in the margins.  "Some of these won't work."  Mac smirked.  "Told him?"

"Twice."

Don nodded.  "We'll fix it."  Two women leaned in.  "Get in here if you're supposed ta be in here."  They walked in and he shook their hands.  "Don Flack and that's Danny Messer."

"We heard.  I'm Pearl," the Hispanic officer said.  "And that's Jana."  She pointed at the Asian officer.  She was the shorter of the two but Jana was better built.  "We applied before you can ask."

"That's cool.  Know something about it already?" Danny asked without looking up.

"My grandmother was a quarter," Pearl admitted.  Danny grinned.  "Jana's mom is pagan."

"She made me," Jana said, showing her voice was a bit lower.  "So far it hasn't been bad.  Two demons hunted for eating someone."

"We can go over those to show you the US approved way," Don told her.  She beamed and got the case files.  "See you later, Mac?"

"Sure.  Let me go check on the case."  He left them alone.

Danny looked at them.  "Relax.  We're not mean.  We might or might not be staying."

Pearl nodded.  "We heard from Stella."  They grinned.  "So, what are we doing wrong?"

"We'll see," Don told them, sitting down to go over the cases while Danny finished with the rule book.  He walked out reading something.  "That's a bad sign."  They nodded at that.  "Someone uptown is gonna be smacked hard.  Being a Fed is good for that."  They laughed and got down to work with him.  They had a good handle but the NYPD wanted the demons out of their city.  Pity New York had one of the highest populations of them and one of the oldest.  Don led them down to the bar he *knew* was a demon bar.   He had walked in there once as a rookie.  Then he was told why he wasn't supposed to.  "Hey," he said, smiling at the bartender.

"You're in the wrong bar, son," the orange and blue bartender said dryly.  Don pulled his usual ID case out and held it up.  He moaned.  "Case?" he whimpered.

"Nah, helping the NYPD set up their native office."  That got a look.  "They wanted us back.  This is how they're tryin' really hard.  These are Pearl and Jana, the first officers they hired.  We need a map.  Trouble spots, colleges, areas of high concentration."

"For your personal use or overall?"

"The higher ups said any case that looks like a demon, we get called," Jana told him.  "No matter what.  Interrogations the same way."

He nodded. "We heard about the 'get them out of my city' rant."

"So did we but we don't work that way," Pearl told him.  "I don't care who lives here as long as you're peaceful."  He smirked at that.  "I'm sure you've got your own problems covered.  This is for any that cross over.  Any humans bothering you guys, any of you guys bothering humans."

"Decent.  I'll see what I can do.  Where's the office?"

"Top floor of the felony crime lab," Don said with a smirk.  "I'd have put it in a ground floor somewhere but not our call."

"Lower Manhattan.  The other boroughs getting theirs?"

"We're the trial," Pearl said with a grin.

"That'll work.  I'll spread that.  Harris didn't come, right?"

"Nah, me and Messer.  They wanted us back."

"Oh, good."  He smiled again.  "Harris brings strange things that get the girls down on your head."  Don laughed but nodded.  "We've heard some strange rumors.  What's going on our there?"

"Things about unicorns?"

"Unicorns?" he demanded, dropping the glass he had been drying.

"Two showed up the other day.  The watchers they found still alive said it wasn't usual but it happened now and then.  Apparently we have a small piece of the barrier near us.  The girls adopted them.  Binky and Digger.  Binky's gray and Digger's like the myths."

"Wow."  He considered it then nodded.  "I wasn't talking about that but that's bad.  I was hearing LA was going to go up again."

"Don't know.  They were talking to the local liaison today about the LA stuff.  We had to fly out.  If so, they've got two slayers, Angel's team that's still living, and all them.  Plus the girls from Cleveland on call since they're bored."

"Good.  That's good.  LA's a troubled area for most of us.  I'll see what I can do about getting you a map."

"We don't need it real specific, just mark things like the local demon colleges.  Let us know if we have overlords or demons who handle things?  That way we don't have to have a mafia boss situation without knowing it?"  The demon smirked and nodded.  "Thanks, man.  Let's go, girls."  He waved and they walked out.  He grinned at them.  "That's very helpful of him.  Most of them won't talk to us.  I expected him to send us to someone."

"That's pretty cool actually."  Jana looked back then at him.  "Are all the demon bars like that?"

"Nope.  I've been in a few for cases.  There was one that was all dirt.  There was one that had flame charms or whatever on the walls so they were on fire.  Had a water elemental in there drinking to get shitfaced drunk.  We were dealing with him.  Some look normal and nice.  Some look like dives.  Some....  Some are kinda strange.  A few are dance clubs, some are getting shitfaced bars.  Depends on the clientele."

"What's the first thing you learned?" Pearl asked.

"Doing this?  That the Church was wrong.  Even the higher, soul stealing, demons have a purpose and sometimes do work for the greater good.  Not always and it's usually because it amuses them or it furthers a later plan.  The lower classes are just like any other being and mostly live in lawful, hidden societies.  A bit rougher than ours at times, a lot of the sins are punishable by death because it can expose them, but they mostly want to be left alone to live their lives.  The second was we make religious leaders nuts.  They like to decry us or ignore us.  A few work with us and they're used to the soul stealing classes but most of them will leave the lower ones alone.  There's even been cults started that call the LA invasion a myth and Hollywood created.  Mostly because they think Xander's an action star."  They giggled at that, shaking their heads.  "Now and then,"  he admitted.  He grinned and waved at one demon, getting a fearful look back.  "Dude, NYPD and DCIS."  The demon shuffled over when he waved.  "Let it be known the NYPD is setting up a local office like DCIS and DCIS is helping them set it up.  Danny Messer's down straightening out some bonehead things they've already done.  We're above the Manhattan Felony Crime lab."  That got a nod.  Don grinned.  "We didn't bring Xander.  He's safely covering for us and the guys setting up Miami's local office.  These are Pearl and Jana, the first two in the office.  We got issues, come tell us."

The demon nodded.  "I will, Agent Flack."  He bowed.  "Peace be on your family."

"I hope so but Ma'll scream when she found out I hit the office before her."  The demon gave him a shy smile and left.  "Like I said, most of the guys are decent sorts who just want to live their lives," he said, walking them on.  "Most of the time I consider it like an ethnic enclave and respect their rules."

"Like walking into the new immigrant area of Chinatown instead of the older, more settled one," Jana said.

"Exactly," Don agreed with a smile.  "There's only a few types with special rules and usually you're warned before hand.  I can tell you his people," he said with a small point at one watching them, "you don't look them in the eyes.  They consider it an insult and attack you.  Then Xander has to show up."  They smiled and nodded.  "Did that by accident during questioning once.  Won't do it again.  I learned.  Danny got offered a girlfriend by one group of demons because he talked to her during questioning on a case.  They decided that showed interest."

"Wow," Pearl said. "What if we did?"

"You'd have a wife too.  We asked if that would make a difference, not that we have so many females on base but we could've asked Abby.  They said she'd have a wife."  They gaped.  "Most demons don't really care or take hold of the gay issue.  To most clans and types it's not an issue.  You just are whatever you are."  He stopped to bow at one really old demon.  "Ancient one."

"Young pup," she said, staring at him.  "DCIS."

"Yes, ma'am.  These are Pearl and Jana.  The locals are setting up an office in the NYPD and Miami's setting up a local office as well.  These two are the first officers hired for the local office."

"We had heard that."  She looked at the girls and nodded.  "They'll do with some training."  She looked at him again, smiling some.  "It is good to have a mentor."  She patted him on the head.  "Go back to the office, pup.  Before your own whelping bitch hears and descends on us for you not greeting her first."

"Work before family to keep the family safe," he told her.  She smiled at that.  "May Trolla bless your litters, Ancient One."  He bowed and backed away, earning a smile.  He led the girls to the car.  Once they were in he started instructing again.  "She's really high up on the scale of ancients.  Her kind live to be about forty.  They age in dog years if I remember right.  Seven for one of ours."  He started the car.  "The word will spread and we'll have less problems.  As long as they don't hire thugs for the office."  He drove them off, heading back to the station.  Stella met them outside to give him a hug.  "Danny in cuffs for smacking him around yet?"

"No.  He made a good, reasonable case and the guy changed it before Danny smacked him on the head with the book."  The girls laughed.  "Showing them around?"

"Putting out the news and asking to get a map of the problem areas and common living areas for the office's use, plus if there were overlords or anything to talk to us."

"That's good.  It'll keep things calm."

"We hope.  Why did they put us up there?"

"No other free spaces and we wanted you two back in the lab, dumbass."

"If they want, we can be called out to take complaints," Pearl assured him.  Don grinned and nodded at that.  "I'm sure you guys have."

"We set up regional liaisons and let them handle those then pass up what we need to handle.  We'll introduce you to them later.  Tony made sure the system worked."  They smiled.  "Let's go sit down."  He walked in with Stella on his arm.  "So, pretty one, you'd love the base.  We've got unicorns."

"Unicorns?"

"Two baby ones.  Danny brought pictures."

She smiled, shaking her head.  "I thought the girls hitting on you was bad," she teased.

"Nah, they're good girls most of the time.  Just teenagers.  Now that they're in school they have a lot of guys to stare at and crush on."  He winked, poking Adam Ross on the back as they walked past him.

"Flack?"  He stared.  "Is Danny back?"  Don looked back and nodded.  "Good!  Mac'll quit pouting at us for not being smartasses like him."  He went back to his hunt for coffee. Then he went to tell Marty in autopsy so the news would get around.  "Hey."  Marty looked over from his current one, which Adam would not look at.  "Flack and Danny are back."

"Wonderful.  Mac will quit pouting at us."

"Exactly.  Flack had Stella on his arm and two junior officers trailing him like they were his puppies."  Marty snickered, shaking his head at that image.  "Let the others know the pouting may be ending."

"Unless they leave again," Marty cautioned.  "I heard they're only in for two weeks to let Mac try to woo them back here."

"Uh-huh."  He walked off sipping his coffee.  He ran into Mac in the elevator.  "If you try to kidnap someone, I'll cover the evidence, Mac.  We hate it when you pout."  He walked off, leaving a stunned stupid man behind him.  That's when he knew he had worked too many hours in a row.  He went to take a short nap in the locker room for his lunch break.  He clearly needed sleep and it'd save him if Mac went off.

Mac shook himself free and went up to their floor, finding Don going over the new rule changes.  "Get it fixed?"

"Yup," Danny said.  "Explained some things.  Like Don did to them."

"We'll hopefully be getting a map," Don told him.

"Tha'tll help.  The one at the base does."  They looked everything over, nodding at something.  "Overlord," Danny said with a point.  "He's a Higher demon.  Two colleges, one small building at Columbia as well."

Don pointed at an area.  "The major living neighborhood."  That got circled.  "Vamps?"

"No idea," Danny admitted.  "I asked Sid last week and he said they hadn't had any deaths."

"Building an army?"

"Could be.  We'll check," Danny agreed.  "If so, we'll call Caridad.  Have her send Buffy."

"That'll work," Don agreed.

"So are we done for the night except for the pager numbers?"  Don wrote out both their tollfree extensions and handed them over.  "I'll have Dispatch put them with the ladies' ones so we can start the welcome home party."  He called in to do that.  Once he was done he walked them down to the meeting room, letting Stella kick off their welcome home, at least for a while, party.  It was good and both guys were happy to be there.  Hopefully they'd stay that way and stay.  The two new demon officers came down to help.  They'd have to work pretty closely with the lab so it was good for them.

***

Horatio looked up and smiled as Tim and Ryan got off the plane.  "Boys.  Welcome home."

"No signs?" Speed asked, looking around.

"Security wouldn't let Alexx put one up unless you came in first class."  He shot him a smirk.  "Bags?"  They held them up.  "No artillery this time?"

"We had better not need any," Ryan told him.  "There's been no slayer dreams or anything."

"Good.  Excellent in fact.  Though we do have a bit held back from the destruction closet with permission."  He waved a hand.  "Shall we?"  They followed him outside, both coughing at the air.  "Sorry, should have warned you it's a high smog day."

"It took a while to get used to it," Speed promised, finishing his coughing.  "Hummer?"

"They wouldn't let me park up here."  He led them to it.  He wouldn't get the transit officers in trouble for arguing with him.  That was their job and he was having a happy day.  The boys got in, Ryan in the back.  He smiled at that kindness and drove them off.  "How have cases been?"

"A bit slow recently," Speed admitted.

"Since we got the guy who was hyping the other problems to cover up what he was doing we're back down to a few trouble areas and LA doing something at the moment.  I'm sure that's where Xander will be soon."

Speed nodded.  "Probably.  Crissy and Morgan like working with him better than they do the other teams."  Horatio hummed.  "The girls fuss over him, H.  More than Alexx does us."

"That must make him feel special."

"More often than not, he says he feels like their mother," Ryan said dryly, cracking Speed up.

"He fusses back so they don't know how much it affects him but they understand that."

"It's good they can work so well together."  He smiled at his boys.  Finally back.  "We've set up the office so it's basically an office right now.  I put the map Faith and the ladies made for us in there so you can keep track of things."

"That'll work," Speed said.  "What sort of rules did the higher ups set down?"

"None yet.  They expected you'd be setting up some for him."

"I was working on that.  Danny emailed me a scanned in copy of the ones New York did.  I took out about five," Ryan admitted.  "How many others did he put under us?"

"Three to start.  Two females and a male.  One is the other liaison officer."

"That's probably better for her anyway," Speed agreed.  He watched the sights go past.  He had missed the people in Miami but the buildings struck a small chord in his soul too.  "You know, Faith put you up for a field watcher position."

"She did?"

"Yup.  You have the training, the skills, and the attitude that's needed.  She said you'd make a really good one.  Especially since you got some of the terror patrol to listen to you."  He shot him a look.  "She also said you weren't too distracting to look at.  Unlike one of the new guys that got found who is very pretty."

Ryan shook his head quickly. "I'm not sure he's not half succuba.  Abby thinks so," he defended at the odd look.

"Could be, but he'll never admit it."

"No one would care around the office.  Paul is quarter demon of some sort."

"Xander's team Paul?" Speed asked, looking a bit confused. Ryan nodded.  "How did you find that out?"

"One of the girls told me."

"Ah.  The same one that keeps hitting on you?"

"No, Anna," he said with a smirk.  "Speaking of, did you bring new pet pictures?"

"No, I forgot.  You?"

"Let me email them."  He pulled out his phone/blackberry device to do that, getting some back fairly quickly from Sam.  "Sam's online."

"That's cool.  Probably avoiding shelving books.  For a research nerd he hates to shelve things again."

"Now there's Thomas so he doesn't have to," Ryan quipped.

"Thankfully."  Ryan let him see the new picture, making him laugh.  "Binky pounced McKay?"  Ryan smirked and nodded.  "Then what happened?"

"Sam's email said that Tiff guarded him all the way inside because they freaked her out that badly.  Both of them probably by the look on his face.  Abby took the picture."

Speed smirked.  "I love Abby.  She's a neat girl."

"She seemed it.  We talked during the convention," Horatio told them.  "Are the new base pets nice?"

"Very but they're the girls' pets," Speed told him, taking the phone to hold up.  At the next stop sign Horatio looked then gaped in horror.  Speed smirked.  "Their pets."

Horatio shook himself and drove on, trying hard not to think about unicorns. "Why?" he asked finally.

"We found out that there's a barrier that keeps some of the more mythical creatures on their plane or whatever," Speed told him.  "Those two decided to come visit and they adopted the slayers.  Xander had to build them a barn because they were sleeping in the slayer's dorm."

"I see."

"Yup."  Speed smirked.  "So we've got things going on up there that're very strange."

"I heard the Cleveland team got to meet them.  Buffy and all of them cooed over them all afternoon until Dawn sent them home."

"Those poor unicorns."

"How many?" Horatio asked.

"Two.  Binky likes most everyone and doesn't mind those who aren't innocent.  Digger's a traditional unicorn.  He only likes virgins."

"Is it a gender divide?"

"No, just different types."

"I see."  He turned onto another street and got them back to the office, still trying hard not to think about unicorns.  They could tell Calleigh about them.  She might like unicorns.  Or Eric.  He didn't.  They parked and Alexx came out to pull her boys out of the hummer and hug them.

"You'd think you missed us," Speed teased.

"You hush, Timothy."  She patted him on the cheek and looked them both over.  "Well, they feed you there."

"The girls clean up any leftovers," Ryan told her.  "They eat like teenage boys."

"More often then not," Speed agreed.  "Plus our apartments have kitchens for when we want snacks or we're being antisocial."

"Hmm."  She walked them inside.  Their bags could stay in the hummer since Horatio would be driving them later she was sure.  She took them to their office, which was nice.  It was bright.  It had an external door for some reason she didn't understand.

"Hey, we can take complaints here," Ryan said happily.

"And already did," a female said, holding up a paper.  "That's a Federal matter."

Ryan looked then faxed it to the base with a note they'd handle it but to let the others know.  He put it onto the desk with his name on the paper tent.  "We can handle that.  When did we get it?"

"Last night.  They heard you guys were coming and brought us any complaints locally just in case you brought Harris back."

"Just us," Speed told her.

"That's fine.  It'll mean Delko will quit moving furniture on us," she said dryly.  Speed laughed.  "Anyway, bosses, the brass want to meet with you about interrogation rules and those things."

"Got 'em sent down from New York, made changes.  We can give them to him," Ryan promised.

She gaped.  "You're good."

"We were there when the agency was still really tiny and growing," Speed told her.  "Tony and Xander set most of everything up.  Tony hired most of us, except us, and we had to watch things come together."

"That's good.  The other two guys are a bit horrified to be assigned here."

"Half?" Ryan asked.

"No clue.  Don't care.  Just horrified."

"We'll figure that out."  He looked at the others.  "No dancing girls?" Ryan teased.

"Eric threatened to steal you two to the club later," Horatio assured him.  Alexx got paged so she had to let Speed go but he sat down in the corner, letting them handle things.  Ryan was making a capable, fussy administrator.  The other two came back from lunch and got met, talked to, one got sent off because he was worried this was going to soil his soul.  The other Ryan and Speed pulled up the online manual they had and put him and the other liaison officer with it.  They had to know anyway.  When the commissioner came in, Ryan handed him the copy of the rules from Danny and went over each and what they needed in officers.  They promised to fill the open spot themselves and it was good for the boss too. They clearly had it.  Horatio got a text message and smiled, looking at the boys.  "Sir, with all due respect, the others want to welcome them back."

"Of course.  Dispatch has your pager or whatever numbers?"  Ryan wrote them down for him and handed them over.  "If we get one, we'll call."

"Nine out of ten will be false alarms at first but we understand that," Speed told him.

"Good."  He nodded at Horatio.  "Thank you.  This is working out fairly well."  He went to hand those to dispatch then went back to take some tylenol.  Even the thought of demons was bothering him.  His poor city.  How long had it been infected?

Horatio took them to the party, letting Eric and Calleigh pounce.  "Show them the pictures of the new pets," Horatio offered. Ryan pulled them out to show them off.  Calleigh was creeped out but Eric laughed and gave them another pat on the back.  It was going to be interesting in Miami for quite a while.

***

Daniel moaned, getting the call from Homeland he hated.  "Yes, sir?"  He listened.  "Why does Jack need me for a week?  I just had a vacation."  He listened.  "Ah, new text.  Tony can run here if we need him to or Xander in his stead until Tony comes back from testifying in DC.  I can do that.  Let me get with Jack, sir.  Why didn't he call?"   He nodded once, a power flux took out the power at the mountain and with it the phones.  "I can do that.  Thank you, sir."  He hung up and packed a few things, walking out.  "Guys, make do without me for a few days.  Jack needs me to translate something for him.  New people he's not sure about."  They all waved and Xander grinned.  "Yes, that means you're in charge until Tony gets back."

"Sure thing, Danny.  Have a good trip.  Want McKay since he's hiding in the lab?"

"If he wants.  I'll check on that.  Tiff?"

"Went home with the Cleveland group for a few days.  She needed to talk about battle stress."  That got a nod.  "Have a good trip and bring your weapons."

"Will I need them?" he asked.

"From what we get told, you always do," Xander quipped.  "Take some of the special bullets."

"Yes, Xander."  He went to get them and his sidearm, then check on McKay.  "Jack needs me to translate for a few days.  Something new just popped up."  McKay gave him an odd look.  "Looks like an offshoot of Ancient," he said quietly.

"Wonderful.  Let me know if it's something we need to see."

"Of course.  You staying?  I know you're freaked out."

"Well, yes, but I can stay away from the dread creatures and the unicorns."  Danny walked off laughing.  "Have a good trip.  Annoy the general since Carter said she hasn't recently."

"I can do that."  Abby gave him a hug.  "Jack needs me for a few days."

"Okay.  Be safe.  We heard you get into more trouble than Xander."

"Not hardly," he defended.  She gave him a look.  "I don't."  He walked off to her giggling.  That was a bad sign.  He called for a pickup.  Someone there had sent a helicopter to pick him up.  He had enough time to get a bag of clothes too.  Then he was off into the sky and toward Colorado.

***

In Las Vegas, a small boy was being drug behind his mother through the casino and resort toward the buffet.  He was really bored.  The hotel babysitter had watched tv and he was bored.  He saw something flash and reached out to touch the pretty stone then it disappeared.  He pouted.  He wanted his stuffed dragon back but it had gotten wet in the storm that had started a few hours back.  His mom had made him leave it in the room to dry.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Relocation.

Danny looked up, frowning at the odd feeling he got.  "Hey, Don?" he called up the hall.  "Something's happening."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm certain."  They both looked up then winced at the ripping feeling that happened.  They had no idea for a few minutes that they had been displaced because the drop to the ground knocked them out.

***

In Miami Speed and Ryan looked up and around, then dove for their coworkers to grab them and protect them.  Something hugely magical was happening and Dawn had gotten all the agents used to feeling what magic felt like when it happened.  So when the world shifted around them, they were ready.  Fortunately their hummer came with them.  They had weapons in it if they needed them.

***

Chase gave the phone an odd look.  "What was that?" he asked.  He frowned.  "Sure, you go."  He hung up.  "House, something happened at the hospital.  Sounded like an explosion."  He changed the tv in the infirmary to the news station. That would surely be covered.   What was starting to be covered was much worse.

House grabbed the phone.  "Xander, get down to the infirmary or turn on the tv up there now."  He hung up, watching the New York coverage of dragons that had just appeared in the middle of the city.  Some buildings were destroyed, but first reports were saying the people weren't in them.  "Shit," House muttered.

"Deeply."  Chase called someone he knew by the hospital.  "What happened at PPTH?  Yes, this is Robert.  What happened?"  He listened to the report of a big lizard.  "Turn on the news to HNN."  The person did and gaped.  "Where did the scanner say it appeared?"  He nodded once.  "Okay.  Give me a sec."  He looked up something.  "From what we've seen here, start with ten cc's of thorazine. For some reason it works in the larger reptiles that are magical.  I don't know.  Sedate it then move it."  He hung up and called Cuddy.  "We think...."  She hung up.  "You try."

House dialed.  "Cuddy, House.  Ten cc's of thorazine and up it by ten until the thing's sedated.  Ten should work."  He grimaced.  "Dart rifle?  Use the one in my office.  Attach it to the end of a nerf dart if you have to.  Yeah, one of those would work.  We think it will based on what we know.  That one's not the only one.  We're watching coverage from New York and they're having an infestation.  Yeah, try it.  Let us know.  Oh, if you get unicorns, the horns create an injury that starts cell death.  You have to trim around it or it'll keep going.  No matter what, even a small scratch.  Don't ask how we know this."  He hung up.  They shared a look and House levered himself up and limped up to the main floor.  "People, containment!" he called.

"Already on the phone," Xander called back.  "Danny's not answering either."  He hung up and called the local homeland office in New York.  "This is Harris, DCIS.  House, what sedates them!"

"Thorazine as far as we can tell.  Start with ten cc's and move up by ten."

"Heard that?"  He nodded. "I can do that, but for now, sedate the creatures and get them out of the way.  Before they eat someone."  He hung up and called Cleveland, getting Buffy.  "CNN, now, Buffy."  He hung up and stood up, going to find the number for the people he needed, putting them on conference call.  "Sir, Harris, DCIS."

"What hell happened?" the president shouted.

"We're figuring that out.  We know there's a barrier, like in the Phase series by an author named Piers Anthony, on the world.  It was done by the Watchers in the eleven hundreds."  Someone groaned.  Xander leaned his hands on the desk to get closer to the speaker.  "We've had a few small breaches, which happen routinely now and then.  A few a century.  Something made the barrier stutter for a second and we're going to find out what.  For now we need an order to sedate and move the creatures before someone gets hurt."

"All right, son.   How does this barrier work?"

"There's a keystone.  They did the spell because those creatures surviving is somehow tied into the earth's energy and it'd warp it and kill us all they thought if they died."

"Ancient science?" someone sneered.

"No clue.  I wasn't alive back then," Xander shot back.  "I have to rely on historical documents and the head of the Carribean branch of the Watchers Council.  He's here.  His books are on their way up.  We think, because we were talking about sending the two breeches we have here back, that the keystone is somewhere in the US.  It's hidden and normally not able to be found.  If somehow it was exposed, all it would take is a touch as far as he knew.  I don't know and the references are in transit," he said honestly.  "I know for right now, someone needs to sedate the beasts and move them.  There's going to be people trying to hunt them.  Dragons are carnivores and they will eat anything smaller than them.  Including people and domestic animals."

"What sedates them?" the president asked.

"Our docs here are suggesting starting at ten cc's of thorazine.  I'm guessing they think that'll work best."

Chase leaned in.  "The one at PPTH was sedated by twenty and it's over forty feet long," he reported.  "Ten for anything smaller than a cow, twenty and up for anything larger than an elephant.  Start with ten for anything in between."

"Heard that?" Xander asked.  "That's Doctor Chase, our resident."

"That'll be passed on," the president agreed.  "Where's your boss?"

"Jack needed him.  Tony's testifying somewhere in DC about that case with the higher demon you had their director put away after."

"I remember.  I'll have DiNozzo found.  If not, are you coming out here?  Someone needs to calm them down."

"Let me start the research here."

"Where are you sending the slayers?" the head of Homeland demanded.

"Nowhere.  These aren't demons.  These are big pets to the girls.  They'll defend where they can but I'm worried about that little, pesky physics law that says matter was exchanged and it has to be in equal measure.  Killing them means the people they switched places with may have to stay."  That got a groan.  "I don't want the girls to do more than herd and sedate and I'm sending out that order.  We have some on the hotspot in LA and they're getting it first.  They registered the first problems due to a storm that just passed that way."

"How long?" the president asked.

"His books should be here in another two days.  I have a witch on staff and the ones she knows can help her figure out what sort of incursion it was.  If we can figure it out, we can try to reverse it.  I'm hoping we have it solved within two months.  Shorter if possible.  That's my long distance estimate."

"Good.  Let me call around.  Stay by the phone, Harris," the president ordered.

"Sir, if there's dragons and unicorns, there might be some night living creatures.  We don't know, we just saw it on the news."

"Curfew?"

"It'll keep things down.  At least until we're sure whether or not there are.  If so, the slayers will be handling that issue but not the dragons.  To be honest, they'd probably try to pet them.  They do the two baby unicorns we had appear here."

"Agreed, son.  Stay by the phone.  Get ready to go if you have to."

"Yes, sir."  He hung up and looked at Chase.  "Get with Benny Ray... . shit, he's gone.  He left last week."

"I'll have John help," he said, going to get John.  He was calmly whittling stakes.  "John, major problems.  I need your help in the armory."  Dean and John both looked up.  "There's been a failure in that shield thing.  There's dragons all over the US and probably missing people."

"How do we kill them?" Dean asked.

"Sedate.  Xander thinks there might be a problem if we kill them.  Something about equal exchange of mass?"

"A displacement spell would need it," John agreed.  "Get me sedatives.  I can pack darts."  He stood up.  "Call Dawn's teachers, get Dawn back here now."  He went to deal with the armory.  "Sammy, find the unicorns!" he shouted. "Check on the girls with Wesley!"

"Already started.  Dawn said the trio aren't home, aren't answering, and their club was displaced," Sam shouted, coming in to help him.  "House said ten or twenty of thorazine."

"We can do that."  He found the box of darts they had, just in case, and showed him how to load them.  Chase brought in the few bottles they had and sat down to load with him. "House getting us more?"

"Another ten bottles from the local hospital.  The deputy in town is bringing them," Chase assured him.  He looked at him.  "One appeared inside the hospital, by pediatrics."

Sam shuddered.  "Let's hope they're okay."

"There were docs there."

Xander walked in, grabbing a few things and his precious battle axe.  He also packed a rifle case and came over to get half the darts they had done.  "I'm heading to DC to manage from there.  Wesley knows how and what to send the girls out for.  Prepare them for shadow creatures.  Because the one book we have here mentions them."  That got a nod and Xander left, going to pack some clothes.  On the way he called the NYPD.  "This is Harris, DCIS.  Two of my people were in the lab that disappeared.  Has anyone had any contact from that area?"  He nodded, sighing.

"They had weapons with them, ma'am.  If they're alive, they're okay.  Yeah, they can.  Sedate them.  Ten cc's of thorazine for anything smaller than a cow.  Twenty of the same med for anything bigger than an elephant.  Start at the smaller dose and work up for anything in between.  Because killing them could trap the people over there.  Sedate them and move them.  Federal orders."  He smiled.  "Thank you.  Tell the local ER's to call ours here if they need help.  I'm not sure if they have a poison or not in their mouth.  Even a scratch by a unicorn horn can kill so tell them to call."  He hung up and finished packing then came out to find his ride there.  He climbed onto the copter with his two bags, getting an odd look.  "Weapons."  That got a nod and they took off, heading for DC.

***

Xander stepped in front of the press corps.  "Quit."  They all quit talking and looked at him.  "I'm Xander Harris, third-in-command at DCIS, the temporary head since the boss is out of contact working on something and our second was here in town at the courthouse as far as we can tell."  That got some nods.  "I'm also second-in-command at the Slayers Council."  That got some sighs.  "I'm also not the best public speaker so I had to write things out.  Let me start there and I'll take questions, okay?"  They all nodded.  "As of eleven this morning, a shield that has been in place since the eleven hundreds fell for an unknown reason.  This shield has kept these creatures off our plane with a few exceptions every year.  We get a breach or two each year.  We had one recently but so far we cannot correlate that with why it fell."  He glanced down then at them.  "We are researching where the shield is exactly and how it may have fallen.  It will take us about a week to finish this research and the investigation into the shield itself.  It's energy and we've already started on it."

"Why so long?" someone called.

"Because half the books we need are coming up from the Carribean and won't be in for two days.  We only have minimal sources but in that shipment is a first hand account of how they put it up.  We need that to find out how to reset it."  That got a nod and he wrote that down.  "As of this moment, I want people to remain calm.  It looks like the people that are missing were displaced to where the dragons came from.  So far we have reports of about sixteen hundred people.  We also know some have shown back up.  I do not know yet if this is only in the US or not.  We're trying to get hold of people in other places to see.  If so, that number may go up.  I do know that one of the places displaced was a military base so I'm sure they're protecting people if they can get to them."

That got a nod and written down.  "Right now, I would ask that law enforcement and DNR officials *sedate* the creatures.  We are not sure if killing may trap people over there.  We do know how to sedate them."  He pointed at the slide that came on behind him.  "This is the best method of sedation we have off the top of our heads.  We know that the higher category works.  It did when one appeared in a hospital in New Jersey.  That drug has been shown effective on a few different creatures that've shown up so far so we're asking that if you find a unicorn you use a foal or pony strength dart of the same medicine on them then move them."  That got more notes taken.  "We have sent out this information, we're hoping this gets to people in smaller areas that might not have gotten it."

"Agent Harris, why sedate them?" one reporter asked.

"Because in cases like this, a displacement would move an equal amount of mass.  Don't ask me the science behind it, that's not my area.  Sorry."  He grinned slightly.  "We're worried that if we take some of the living mass out on this side, then the living mass on that side won't transfer back."  That got a nod.  "Any good physicist can tell you why since science isn't my thing.  I leave that to the experts."  They nodded.  "I have also asked for a curfew to be in effect in heavily populated areas that were affected.  The few books we do have at this moment mention some creatures that live at night and in shadows.  We do believe that they can feast on people and we don't want that."

"The girls from the invasion in LA, are they going to handle this?" someone called from the back.

"They're not equipped to handle dragons or unicorns beyond petting the unicorns.  We are going to let them handle any of the shadow creatures that may have come over.  They're deploying today once we've heard where we need them."  He wet his lips.  "To be truthful, everyone at DCIS thinks it'd be better if we sedate what we can and put them somewhere neutral for right now.  It's safer for the humans and the creatures.  I do know that we have found unicorn horn injuries will destroy human tissue even if it's only a scratch.  Our doctors, Doctor House and Doctor Chase, are already fielding calls from various hospitals about what to do.  We know that some dragons do have a poison in their saliva.  The same as some snakes do and some don't.  That's as close to an analogy as I can get at the moment."

That got a few smiles.  "Fortunately we've been busy researching and working on the poison issue for other demon classes and we think some of the cures will work on theirs.  We're working on it as fast as we can right now.  We ask that people stay calm and let us work.  Report the names of missing people to the local law enforcement people.  If you find a creature, call it in instead of taking it on."  He coughed. "I better than some realize that there will be some stupid young men who think it will make a name for themselves to go out and kill one of these creatures.  Be they geeks, like I was, who used to role play and think they can handle it with a fan blade from one of the companies that sell Highlander or Xena merchandise, or if they're hunters who want to make a name for themselves.

"We want no one in danger.  We ask that those people who are tempted to go out and prove how manly or womanly they may be don't do it."  He coughed again and sipped some water.  "I know that the temptation is there.  I was one of those kids when I was younger.  I would've been there in a heartbeat.  Especially if one of my friends had been displaced.  We ask that they let us handle it instead of them being killed trying to fight these things.  It's bad enough we already lost three law enforcement people as far as I've been told because they had to protect others to get them away from the dragons.  We don't want anyone else to be killed that doesn't have to be.  So take some standard, reasonable precautions, people.  Please."  He folded up the paper.  "Any questions?"

One reporter stood up.  "Sir, this shield?"

"As far as I know, it was described to me like the one in the Phase series.  Which is a nice fantasy series to read.  All I know so far is that it's ancient. There's a keystone.  The keystone is what we need to find to reset it.  We'll be putting out a call for that later once we find out what it looks like.  When we get the book."  That got a nod and she sat down.  "Any other questions?"

One reporter raised her hand behind her camera.  "Sir, what agency did you come from?"

"I wasn't.  I was working with the slayers before."

"That's why you're second in the slayer's Council?"

"I am.  I was the head until Rupert Giles woke up."  That got a few nods.  "He had been in a coma after the events in Sunnydale and LA."  That got more things written down.  "As of right now, Rupert is working on deployment and gathering where the girls need to be so please don't go haunt the doors.  If the Council has to announce something, he'll do it through me in this case."  They nodded.  "So if you see the girls, let them work, please."  He pointed at one reporter.  "You look like you have one."

"Would the people who are missing have weapons?"

Xander considered it for a second.  "Four of our agents were out helping metro areas set up a local office.  They would.  I helped the agents learn the skills they might need no matter what they run into.  Two were in New York and two in Miami.  They probably have weapons and if not, we carry special ammo that should work over there."  He sighed.  "The guns the military people have should work at least a little bit if they have to use them.  No one's told me if their supply depot went with them but all military personnel are survival trained.  They will gather whoever they can and protect them.   That's what they do."  That got a nod.  "I have the utmost faith that they can keep at least themselves and whoever they can find safe.  I have no idea if they have found a way to communicate with others that have been displaced or not.  We're trying to see if there's a way to communicate over there to let them know what happened and see if we can help.  That's a secondary consideration.  Right now, I want to figure out how to fix it first."  The Press Secretary walked in and Xander moved out of his way.  "New intel, sir?"

"Some.  This is not just a US phenomenon.  Though it is lessened in other areas."  Xander moaned, shaking his head.  "It appears that there's a new goblin colony in Iraq.  One of the local units over there has reported they ran into them and that they had agreed to keep them safe and the goblins were going to stay out of matters."

"That makes sense, they're supposed to be intelligent beings," Xander told him.  The other man smiled.  "Sorry."

"No, that's a good thing."  He looked at them.  "As of right now, the President has called for a US wide curfew in affected areas starting at dusk.  Those who have to work at night we'll handle later on, or more likely their cities will.  We would agree, keep calm, let DCIS and Homeland handle this."  They all nodded.  "We'll brief you later when we have more information."

"Definitely at least once we have the books and find the keystone," Xander offered.  "We'll need someone to find it for us if the location isn't mentioned."  That got a few nods. "Thank you for listening and telling others, people.  Be safe."  He walked out with him, closing the door behind him. "Sir, Tony?"

"Everyone in the courthouse disappeared and were replaced by a herd of unicorns."

"Ow.  Normal ones?"

The press secretary looked at him.  "What?"

"There's apparently two types.  A darker one and the traditional one.  We have one of each on the base."

"Is that the cause?"

"No. There's small breaches every year.  We checked on that breach and they said it was fully sealed.  It hadn't caused any damage.  From what Dawn can tell so far, the shield blinked and that caused the displacement.  Ours was a small, self repairing hole."

"Are they going back?"

"If they can.  I don't want to keep a problem going.  We've been doing some research to see if we could put them back, no matter how much the girls will pout."

"They like them?" he asked with a smirk.

"The first one slept on a bed," Xander said honestly.

He sighed, shaking his head at that.  "How soon?"

"The books are in Customs."

"Give us the information."  Xander handed it over.  "The president wants to see you."

"I figured he wanted to yell at someone and I'm a good target," he agreed, following him.  He walked in.  "Sir."

"Harris."  He looked at him.  "You clearly don't like to speak publically.  Look at them more and the paper less, son."

"I've only had to give speeches in english class, sir, but I'll remember that.  Danny?"

"Displaced across the gateway."

Xander moaned.  "I thought the power was down."

"They sent a message saying they wanted to talk to him about a treaty.  They went over once it was reestablished and the base wasn't touched except for a few goblins or whatever down there digging."

"Dwarves probably."

"Okay.  How do you know that?"

"Dungeons and Dragons," he said with a small grin.  "Goblins menace, dwarves dig and mine.  Unless they're Harry Potter goblins."

"I guess that's as valid as anything.  Get that shipment of books from customs."

"I've already handed that to the secretary of state," the press secretary said.  He looked at Xander.  "The girls?"

"If there are fear creatures, shadow creatures, that stuff, it's their job.  Dragons aren't and they could only kill or sedate them.  We have taught them all how to shoot but a major fear creature hitting somewhere like downtown LA again could cause mass suicide or homicides."

"So having them handle that while DNR and other agents handle the bigger things that might be dumb but just animals makes more sense," the president said.  Xander nodded.  "Rupert Giles' opinion?"

"He agreed when I told him that's what was going to happen.  He said one of the girls did try to pet a dragon and nearly got chomped for it.  It was small so she hit it and knocked it out.  They handed it over when she tried to bring it back as a pet."

The president burst out laughing.  "Those girls are something else."

"Did you see pictures of Binky and Digger, sir?"

"Doctor Jackson showed me.  Not the cause?"

"No, sir.  We know it had something to do with the keystone.  Only that could make the shield blink.  Personally I think it's out west somewhere because LA had a problem with a storm recently that uncovered a lot of magical artifacts that had been hidden and caused them fits for days.  So I'm guessing it's somewhere in the path of that storm.  We won't know until we get the book."

"Good.  You're staying local?"

"I shouldn't.  They need me."

"Why were you put that far out?"

Xander shrugged.  "The last president said so and it's a nice base.  It's got the prison underneath it.  Putting the prison here would cause hell.  Putting it there didn't."

"That's probably why he did it.  That and to keep you guys safe from people like those cults."

Xander smirked meanly.  "I heard some of them got displaced from the ranch in Texas one of the cults is running.  Doctor House was saying it was divine retribution."

"I can see that point.  Now what?"

"Now, we research, we get the witches onto the shield so they can monitor it and see if we can put some of them back and get some people back.  I know the dragon that appeared in the hospital our docs worked in before displaced part of a pediatrics ward and we're hoping like hell they're safe."

"Good.  Can they?"

"We're looking, sir.  Our witch on base is in training.  She's seventeen.  Her teachers were displaced and the coven she used to learn from in England is being a bit fussy.  Giles is calling them to help her."

"Yelling?"

"I think Giles said he was going to put the foot of Janus up their ass because he used to practice chaos magic when he was a rebellious young guy."  The president smirked at that.  "Since then he reformed."  He smirked.  "Giles was about to call down Janus on them to fix the attitude.  Which was the reason we moved Dawn to some teachers on the west coast."

"Good.  Go ahead back.  Be back Tuesday."

"Send for me, sir, and I'll come."  He nodded.  "Have a better day and give us what you have about where incursions happened.  It can only help."

"Already done, kid.  Go."  Xander nodded and left, heading back to the base.  "He's not bad."

"He's young and jumpy.  He barely graduated high school.  He got in under practical experience."

"Which he does have," the president pointed out.  "We'd be panicking if he hadn't called and said to sedate them.  If killing them is going to keep them there, I don't want to risk it either."  He rubbed his hands together.  "Speaking of which, get me Sam Carter.  I want an explanation of how this happened.  She's either at Area 51 or on their base.  She has approval from Abby to work in their labs."

"The secretary of state said she's been displaced, sir.  She was on leave.  The whole spa got displaced."

"Charming.  Who's out there?"

"McKay.  We called to see."

"All right.  I want to know exactly how this happened.  He and Abby can babble or whatever."  That got a nod and he went to find someone to give him that information.  He leaned back to have a quiet few minutes.  This was not a good thing to have happen.  They had said they'd warn him but apparently this one didn't have one.

***

Speed looked around, then at Ryan.  "We're not home."

"No, we're not.  That's a water dragon," he said with a point.  Speed looked and groaned.  "Hummer?"

"Hummer."  They got Calleigh and Horatio into the hummer since they were still stunned stupid, and headed back to the city.  Which wasn't there.  "Oh, yeah, we're not home," Speed said.  "So?"

Ryan checked his phone.  "No cellphone towers so no signal.  Radio?  If we're displaced somehow, maybe there's military guys?"

Speed nodded, finding a good spot to park and got to work on the radio.  "We need a signal booster."  He was praying hard he remembered how to do this from his teenage years.

Ryan pointed at a natural rock formation.  "Send it from up there."  They nodded and drove that way to do that.  The hummer could make it up the short hill.   They got to work sending out messages.  Calleigh shook herself free.  "Hey."

She looked around.  "This isn't Miami."

"I have the feeling we're where Digger and Binky came from," Speed told her.  Horatio moved to take over the radio and try to boost the signal using Speed's cellphone. They got a small crackle of sound back and tried another channel.  That got them some.  Speed took it back.  "This is DCIS agents Speedle and Wolfe in what used to be Miami.  Who're you and where?"

"Sir, out toward Tampa," the report came back.  "We've got three people here with us.  We know a few from Pensacola are also here."

"Do they have a better radio?"  He checked the hummer's gas gauge.  Mostly full.  "And do we have gas?  We've got a crime lab hummer."  He let go of the button.

"We do, sir.  We think.  They're meeting us later up by them."

"Good idea.  Give us the coordinates."  The guy repeated them.  "We can be there.  Gather any survivors we have.  We have two others.  Let me try the local PD channel again."  He hung up and switched the station.  "This is DCIS agent Speedle.  Anyone in the Miami area we're on that tower of stone.  Meet us now so we can hook up with others."  He let it go, listening to the few affirmatives.  "Get a vehicle if we have one.  We have a hummer and four of us."  That got another agreement.  He let it go.  "Now we wait."

"Now we try the harder things," Ryan countered.  "When you were in Xander did you pick up any spell work?"

"No."

"Did you work any with Dawn?"

"A bit.  Some of the centering exercises."

"I've seen a few of those," Calleigh offered.

"Then let's try what Dawn does.  PAIGE!" Ryan bellowed.  A woman orbed in.  "Hi.  You too?"

"What the hell?" she asked.  "Wolfe?"  He smirked.  "What happened?"

"No clue.  It looks like we're where Binky and Digger came from.  There's others here."

"Shit!"

"No, really?" Speed asked dryly.  "What gave you that idea?"

She glared at him.  "Quit or I'm zipping your lips shut.  Magic is much easier here."  She looked at Ryan.  "Why yell?"

"We have to find the others and meet somewhere.  It'll protect us.  Can you see if there's other witches?"

"Don Flack's in New York.  Dawn marked him because he seems to draw trouble like Xander.  That way she could create portals near him faster."

"Good.  Can you and the girls start moving people on your side of the country to somewhere safer?  That way we can start doing the same?"

"I can try.  That takes a lot of magic, guys."

"Yeah, but if there's other witches, a telepathy spell might not," Ryan pointed out.

"That's not a bad idea.  Let me tell Flack.  I know there's some up with him and probably some in New Jersey.  There's a few spots there that draw it."  They nodded.  "I'll keep in touch."

"We're heading up state," Ryan told her.  She nodded and disappeared.  He grinned.  "I like how that works."

"You're lucky she didn't hit you, Wolfe."

"I wasn't anything but polite.  It was you she wanted to shut up."

Speed glared at him.  "Sorry if my innate response is to snark back but oh well."

"Boys," Horatio said.  "Act like agents now, and play later."  He looked at the officers coming up to where they were.  He put his hands on his hips, staring at them.  "How many of us?"

"Sixteen, sir, and a lot of beasts.  We had to shoot a few to protect some kids."

"We're going to move everyone to a central location if possible.  If not consolidate," Ryan told him.  "How many vehicles?"

"About twenty that we can see.  I have officers going to gather them.  How many others?"

"Some in Pensacola, probably at the base, and some from Tampa we know of.  At least one from San Francisco and one in New York," Ryan reported.

"We'd need a lot of gas to make it near your base, sir.  We found one pump but without electric I'm not sure how we'd get the gas out."

"I know."

"Let's at least try to consolidate people in as few areas as possible.  It'll make it easier for defense and to feed them," Horatio ordered.

"Pensacola at the base would be nice if their things came.  It's been a long time since I camped," Speed said.

"We'll send the orders, sir."  He went to do that.  This car had almost no gas so it was good for errands here.  They gathered whoever they could and repeated the radio experiment down toward the keys.  No one answered so maybe that was a good thing.  They got everyone moving toward the north.  The hummer fell into line.  The officers smiled because they knew Caine wasn't letting Speedle out of his sight.  It made a lot of sense for him to be there.

***

Danny took another swing of the sword at the beast.  "I will not complain about sword practice on Sunday with Xander *ever* again!" he shouted.

Don got up with a groan, holding his head.  "Me either."  He shot the thing and it died.  "Hey, holy water does work on dragons."  He looked at the people.  "Let's move, people.  Now.  Before more come to see if we're tasty.  Stella, help Mac.  Sid, you can finish splinting wherever we can hide."  That got a nod and they herded people off to some hills they could see close by.  It was a few hours' walk but that was what had to happen.  Danny nudged him and pointed at something.  "A bus," Don said.  He jogged over to it.  It took him an hour but it ran and had gas.  It meant a much easier trip to the hills.  Sid used it to help those who needed help.  Don's own slight bump on the head wasn't going to get any ice so he dealt with it for now.  "Now what?"

"We need to find others who got moved," Danny said quietly.  "Mac, you're in charge of survival stuff.  You have training we don't."  He looked at the others.  "Someone see if we can get the radio boosted so we can reach other places."  Paige appeared.  "Never mind."  He looked at her.  "What the fuck?" he demanded.

"We're where Binky and Digger came from."

"I noticed the dragons we had ta kill," Danny shot back.  She smirked at him for it.  "It was gonna eat Don."

"For right now, we're consolidating locations.  You have people here and in New Jersey."

"Like in _the Stand_?" Mac asked.

"If we could get you all to Las Vegas, we would," Paige assured him.  "We can feel a major magical spike that way."  She looked at them.  "Speed and Ryan are with the redhead and the blonde lady in Miami."

"Horatio and Calleigh," Danny said.  "Ryan called, said they had a swamp demon.  He wanted some intel on them since we had a case with one."  He looked at Don then at her.  "Banged his head when we fell."

"It happens."  She checked.  "He'll be fine with some rest.  For right now, let's consolidate wherever we can.  There's a military unit that picked up the kids displaced from a hospital in New Jersey.  We felt the kids and I went there before here."

"That's good to us," Don promised.  "Any idea if there's more coming from upstate or further north?"

"I don't know.  I can't tell.  I know there's some in Chicago.  A few in San Fran with us.  A lot in LA.  Including the Epps family."

"Cordette's a young slayer," Danny said, starting to frown.

"Which is a good thing.  She'll be protected."

"Good," Mac agreed.  "For now, stay here?"

"For now, put up something so they know you're here.  The military is bringing the docs and kids here.  The dragon appeared on a pediatrics ward."  They all hissed.  "In the hospital House used to work in."  She grimaced.  "Let me see if I can find others.  Set a huge fire or a sign or something.  Okay?"  She disappeared.  She had told the military there were survivors that way.  That's why they were headed there.  Kids with problems and all.  She landed in Las Vegas to look at the thing glowing to them.  "What are you?" she demanded.  Words appeared.  "Shit.  Piper, you know Latin!" she called.  Her sister orbed in.  "What's it say?"

"Here sits the key to keeping us all alive by keeping us apart.  If you're reading this, you're in the wrong world.  Real helpful."

"The keystone?"

"The keystone," she agreed grimly.  "How many in New York?"

"About sixty.  Another twenty plus half a military unit in New Jersey moving toward them.  About fifty in Florida probably.  I can feel a witch in Chicago.  Not our sort though."

"Let me talk to her."  She went to do that.  "Calm down Cordette," she called as she left.

"Sure.  I can do that."  She disappeared, finding the young slayer.  "Hey, Princess."

"PAIGE!" she squealed, pouncing her to hug.  "What happened?  There's mean old dragons and unicorns!  Unicorns are really soft and let me pet them!"

"I know."  Alan gave her a look.  "Somehow we're where Binky and Digger came from."

"Ooh," Cordette said.

Paige squatted down.  "Your demon sensing skills may not help a whole lot but you need to tell them if you feel one, okay?"

"Of course, silly."  She smiled.  "Don and I already talked.  I talked to the older female unicorn too.  She told the others to leave us alone."

"Good girl."  She gave her a hug.  "If I know Xander and Dawn we'll be okay."

"They're not here?"

"Nope.  I can find both of them and none of the other slayers are here.  Only you."

"I'll be a good helper," she promised.

"Good girl.  If Don asks, can you help shoot deer for food?"  She nodded.  "Even better."  She gave her another hug.  "Don, we need to gather everyone together.  Somehow.  Radio signals are coming in somehow."

"We have a radio station that partially came but no electric."

She smirked.  "Magic is so much more plentiful here.  Let's see what we can do.  You can set out a rotating signal."  He nodded, leading her to it.  It was in a van, a mobile unit.  She frowned and called Phoebe, who knew about those things.  It was restarted and they recorded a message, playing it on all radio waves.  It should reach all the way to the Rockies since there was no interference.  "Now, set up a beacon."  That got a nod and they went to do that.  "Then hunker down.  It's going to be days.  We have *no* idea what happened."

Alan nodded.  "We can do that.  Cordette, go help Charlie gather food."  She went to do that.  "Thank you."

"Not an issue.  If we can, we'll do what we have to do.  We have about ten of us from home."  She shrugged and disappeared again.

Don looked around.  "Okay, we'll be getting others here soon.  Let's set up a base camp.  Someone find a way to shelter us from any storms."  They went to do that and Connor stomped over.  "You're here?"

"We were on the other side of the city.  None of the others came with us."

"Cordette's here with Charlie at the moment."

"Good.  We can handle that.  I'll be on for protection but I will punch a unicorn if it tries to snuggle."

"Fine," Don agreed.  "Cordette talked to one and they moved the herd for a bit.  Help find shelter."

"Caves or do we have to worry about creatures?"

"No caves.  Too dangerous if there's an earthquake," Alan told him.  "Above ground only and we can let Cor clear it of having demons."  He nodded, looking around the very different landscape.  Then he pointed.  "That'll work.  People, just off to the east there's a set of caves.  Let us clear them then we'll start moving others that way.  If you can find a car and it works, that'll do too."  They nodded, going to scavenge for cars and things.  Connor got Cordette and they headed off in a car to do that.  He sent back signals with a mirror.  Don smiled.  "Good job teaching her that," Alan said. "There's caves, they're going to be okay to sleep in.  Let's head that way."  Everyone around them started to move and Don found a can of spray paint thanks to a kid, marking on the side of the van where they were.  Just in case someone was tracing the signal.

***

John stopped Dawn later that night after dinner.  "Use the psychic link you have to Prue and see if she can reach her sisters."

"I didn't think about that."

"I know.  Neither did I until Sam said something.  Take Dean and go."  She nodded, going to get Dean to help her while he got the last few of the girls on base back into their beds.  "School's still on tomorrow, ladies.  Bed."  They went to do that.  John looked up as the helicopter landed, coming out to meet Xander.  "I have Dawn seeing if Prue could reach her sisters."

"That'll work.  Hopefully.  The books?"

"Will be here by midnight on a military transport," John told him.  "Everyone's off handling things.  Teams are split up."

"DC can be handled by Gibbs if he's still there or our profiler."

"We've already done that."

"Good.  Anything I have to know?"

"Giles asked Wesley why you were second-in-command.  Wesley said he didn't want the headaches he gave you."

"Yay.  The girls?"

"Anyone cleared for patrol is off hunting fear and night creatures.  We were right."  Another helicopter, this one a troop carrier started to land.  "Girls, come help lift books!" he bellowed.  They came to help and get them into the library.  "I left you a note on the desk where everyone is, Xander."  He went to do that and check with their docs.  John helped by carrying crates of books with the girls. "The ones we need?"

"By the index in the first box it's in the next load," Thomas yelled back.  "It'll be a few  hours.  Ladies, try to rest.  We'll need more help in a bit."  They nodded and did that.

"Fine, you can skip tomorrow," John called.  Brenda gave him a hug and went to help lift in the last crate.  At the very least they could put these up for now. They needed them anyway.  Xander came in to help.  "The docs?"

"Fielding calls about strange poisons, unicorn horns, all that.  Brenda, go help the docs.  Take another one with you who can speak good technical english and be polite."  She nodded, tapping one of the others to go with her.  "Thomas, I said two months.  Was I overly optimistic?"

"We should be able to do it within a month if we can find the dratted keystone."

"Even better.  Dawn's off trying to reach her teachers."

"When we have it, we'll need her rested."

"I know.  She probably does too."  They finished up while the girls brought in the next set of crates.  Thomas found the box he needed and dug into it.  The book was near the bottom but Sam got the ones he tossed out to shelve for him.  They gathered around the book.  "Huh, is that in Myferian?" Xander asked.

"Indeed.  Not my best language."

Xander took it, skimming the pages.  "The keystone was moved blindly to where some day the light that hit the heavens shone like a star.  That way none of them could undo what was wrought and future generations could not find it for that land was uninhabited by those who used magic.  It's on their side."

"So it briefly came over?" Sam suggested.

"If so, where?" John asked.

Xander and Sam looked at each other, then him.  "Vegas.  It's one of the few places that has a light that shines bright enough to be a star."

"Or it's at the Twin Towers Memorial Site on Ground Zero," John said.

"That one doesn't reach the heavens.  I read somewhere the MGM Grand's does and so do a few other lights," Sam told him.  "To them it was deserted then and the Natives didn't use magic like they did."

"So we're looking for a large rock with words in Las Vegas."

"That suddenly appeared," Xander said.  "That stupid storm!"

"It did roll over Vegas."  John scratched his head.  "Would it be in the Grand?"

"It doesn't say it's under the light, but let's get our contact out there to talk to us."  He went to the office with the book.  "I need to speak to CSI Sanders please," Xander said.

"Sir, he's a bit busy.  Is this about a case?"

"I'm his boss."

"Sir, you're not CSI Grissom."  She hung up.

Xander sighed and redialed.  "This is DCIS Agent Harris.  CSI Sanders is our local liaison.  Get him on this phone now before I send a unicorn to gut you, lady."  She squeaked and did that.  A new voice came on.

"Yes?  You needed Sanders?"

"Which you're not," Xander said.  "Who're you?"

"I'm one of the officers he works with, sir.  You are?"

"DCIS Agent Harris.  Now... you are?"

"Captain Jim Brass.  The homicide detective they work with.  I used to be over the lab.  He's in the field."

"That's fine.  The keystone is in your city.  Somewhere. It would've briefly appeared.  It's probably near the Grand, might be in it, not real sure.  The place they moved it said someday a light that shone like a star into the heavens would mark it's spot."

"So it's somewhere local.  What does it look like?"

"A six foot piece of quartz and granite.  Like sandstone from England kinda.  Been aged a lot, may have some writing on it.  It would've appeared suddenly and then probably disappeared."

"If it's in a casino, we can get it from security," he said.  "Thank you."

"I need to know.  I'll be there tonight or early tomorrow."  He hung up.  Then he called the president.  "The keystone is in Las Vegas.  I'm going tonight.  Dawn will join me in a few days, once we've found it and she's rested.  She's trying to find her teachers since they were displaced.  Agent Harris.  Yes, he only has to know.  Have someone announce it.  The LVPD liaison we have is finding it while I get up there.  Thank you.  I'll put out a statement later on, once we know for sure what happened.  They should be able to tell us.  We have the books."  He hung up and tossed the book back to House.  "Give that to Thomas.  That's the spell and account of it."

"What now?"

"The keystone is in Vegas."

"No brothels."

"I'm working, House.  How's your hospital?"

"Not bad.  Part of a pediatrics ward disappeared with the doctors but so did part of a local reserve unit so they're probably safe."

"Danny and Don disappeared from New York.  If possible they'll get with them.  Probably group like they did in _The Stand_."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Let me know if you need stuff."

"Another few helpers."

"If Thomas doesn't need them, John said the girls could loaf tomorrow and help wherever.  Cordette's one of the ones who went so they're all worried."  That got a nod so Xander grabbed things to go with him.  The last helicopter was halted before takeoff.  "More books?"

"No, sir."

"Then I need a ride to Vegas. That's where the keystone is."  That got a nod and he took him with him that way, calling in to his CO.  Who threw a fit but Xander overruled him and so did the base's commander.

***

Brass hung up and whistled.  "People."  They all stared.  "The keystone is here!  It's probably near the Grand or in the Grand.  The account said they moved it near the light."  They all groaned.  "Find it now.  It had to be touched or something.  It's a six foot or so piece of English granite with quartz, may have words, may not; it suddenly appeared and then probably disappeared."  They nodded and went to make calls to the casinos and hotels.  He called Greg.  "Harris is on his way.  The keystone is local."  He smiled. "That's good to hear.  Thanks, Sanders."  He hung up.  "He'll meet Xander wherever he lands."

"I called the airport, he's coming in by chopper and he'll land here," Grissom said a minute later.  "He seemed awfully young."

"Greg looked him up once.  He was fighting with the older slayers out in California," Nick said from where he was on hold.  "You sure? It would've only taken a minute.  Yeah, I guess you would mark a big stone suddenly appearing and disappearing.  If you hear, let us know.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Not at the Grand."

"No, it's next to it," Warrick announced, holding up his phone.  "Rope off the area.  DCIS is coming, they'll want the tape.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "They did note it.  They said a kid touched it."  Everyone groaned.  "So we'll see."

They nodded.  "Get the agent coming there," Grissom ordered Nick and Warrick.  "Greg said he would but he's on that stabbing with Cat."

"I'll take his place," Warrick said, going to do that.  This was Greg's job, not his.  This was too freaky for him.

***

Dawn talked to her psychic teacher spirit and smiled.  "Good, let's do that."  She let her take over and laid a hand over where the shield was, plugging into the magic.  Prue had to be very careful not to awaken the Key's power.  There was no telling what would happen if she did.  She sent out a psychic tether, which she used as a ghost to communicate with her student, and found a familiar mind.  "Dear, are you in trouble?" she asked dryly, muttering from Dawn's mouth.  "Want some help?"  Piper joined in and they talked about it.  Dawn agreed with what they needed to do.  Prue looked at Dean.

"We're going to try to help a bit.  Everyone over there is basically where they landed.  We need them consolidated.  Magic is easier over there.  Leo made it so it'll be okay."  He gave her a wary look but nodded slowly.  "It might mean some of them come back sooner."  She got to work on the spell with them.  Leo had gotten it form an Elder on the Council, who he said was not amused at this.  Even the Powers were throwing hissies according to him.  Which was not a good thing.  They chanted it quietly, getting into the depth of the spell.  "Hopeless first and children," she whispered.  They got sent back and Prue had a headache but Dawn pushed her out of the way and knowingly accessed the Key's magic, hyping the spell to add to it.  More of them came back and more dragons disappeared.

Then they all passed out.

Dean caught her before she hit the ground.  "Wonderful.  House is going to kill you and me if Xander doesn't."  He picked her up, taking her to the Impala.  Then he came back for her stuff, putting it into the trunk.  Fortunately it was only ten minutes back to base.   He called ahead.  "Chase, Dawn and Prue were casting at the barrier to reach Prue's former sisters.  You didn't hear Dawn's possessed by a witch who's teaching her because she made a major mistake?"  He smirked.  "She went to kick the Powers in the ass for being assholes.  She and Xander won.  She's passed out.  Right to the door.  Five."  He hung up and turned on the radio.  Dawn shifted sides and moaned.  "No making that sort of noise at me, young lady.  I'm not the one you crush on."  She batted at him but fell back into her mind again.  He pulled up in front of the building so Chase could pull her out.  "They did something.  Some people may be back."

"It's on the news," Chase said, smiling at him.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, figured you were bored," he quipped, driving off.  He parked and got out to come help in the library.  He didn't understand medicine but he knew how to shelve.  He thought; Sammy pointed at where he had put something.  "One hundred comes after ninety."

"Library of Congress system, Dean.  Ten comes before a hundred, which comes before a thousand and then two."

"That makes no sense."

"The government did it," John called.

"That explains it," Dean quipped, fixing his mistakes.  "Dawn's passed out but Prue got her sisters and probably some of the people back.  We need to wait and see what else has to be done."

"Good.  The keystone is in Vegas."

"Of course it is.  Where else would a mystical stone be hiding than in the cheesiest city on Earth?" Dean shot back.  "If Arthur's sword was real it's probably there at the one with the knights."

Sam laughed.  "Ours is probably even inside a casino."  They all shook their heads and got back to work.  They needed to do it anyway.  House knew how to treat magical exhaustion.

***

Chase carried Dawn in.  "She did something major and passed out according to Dean.  That's why some people are back."

"Good!"  He helped settle her on a bed, checking her over.  "Looks like exhaustion.  Start an IV."

"Should we add potassium or anything?"

"We can add nutrients later.  Let's make sure she didn't fry her mind first."  He nodded, doing that.  He also added the vitamins she'd need and a pain killer for the headache.  "You're nicer than I am," House said dryly.

"We already knew that."

"Good point."  They finished up and let her sleep.  She clearly needed it.  It was all they could do at the moment.  "You know, I want a CT.  Just to compare what it looks like."  Chase gave him an odd look but went to turn on the machine.  It might show up the residue of the magic and then they'd be able to see if magic came from a different part of the brain than normal thought.

***

Xander landed with a yawn.  "Thanks, Corporal."

"Welcome, sir."  He lifted off, going to the local base.  He'd take a rest, get some coffee, then fly back home in the morning.  That was standard procedure.

Xander looked at them.  "Tell me we have something?"

"We have it, the area's been roped off, just in case it came back," Greg said, shaking his hand.  "A little kid touched it."

"Aw, crap."

"Yeah."  He put the bags into his car and took Xander that way.  The security people let them through once they saw their badges and the tape was played in slow motion.  "He can't be more than six."

"Probably under school age," Xander agreed, frowning at it.  "Is the parent still here?"

"Being recalled.  We sent the FBI after her and her son."  Xander gave him a look.  "They wanted to help."

"I don't think we can arrest her for being hungry or him wanting to pet the rock."

"No, they saw it first."  That got a nod.  "Now what?  Over a thousand people reappeared."  Xander beamed.  "None of them in New York or Miami and only a few in LA."

"That figures.  They would've evacuated the ones who couldn't fight first.  Cordette's in LA and over there.  Her family's with her."

"Yeah, for some reason Don Epps showed back up.  He called," Greg said, handing over a folded message.  Xander read it and muttered something that was probably a swear word in another language.  "Basically."

"Charlie's more than tough enough to guard her.  They can handle that."  He put it into his pocket.  "She's a fully called slayer, she'll be fine even if she is about to turn nine-years- old."  He rubbed a hand over his face.  "Dawn was probably helping the reason that got them sent back.  She was going to try to contact her teachers, who're over there.  It'll take us a few days to get her back up to energy levels.  Then we'll have to see."  That got a nod.  "Let me see if they have a room here."  He went to do that, then gave Greg his room number when he got his bags.  "All right, let me rest.  I'll make a statement in the morning after I talk to her and the boy.  We need to know if he had magic skills or not," he said at the curious look.  "Plus we'll probably have to calm her down after the FBI gets done with her.  It's been a long day."  He yawned again.  "Sorry."

"Don't be.  This is tiring me out and I've only helped a little bit.  Go rest.  I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure.  Hopefully you can do normal things without helping me."  He went up to his room, going to snuggle down on the bed and sleep for as long as he could.  Someone would wake him up when she and the kid got back there.

***

Xander stood in front of the group of reporters the Press Secretary had called.  "Yo, shut up," he called when they didn't.  They stared at him.  "Good afternoon.  We have good progress to report."

"We know some of them are back," one reporter told him.

"One of the Slayers Council people helped with that since her teachers are over there.  They're still over there.  With the newly returned ones, we think we're missing about sixty people."  They smiled.  "Thirty-five of which are military personnel or former military personnel.  That means they've got a very good chance of surviving."

"Was it because some of the creatures were killed?"

"However they did it, and I haven't been briefed on the exact method yet, brought the ones who couldn't protect themselves first."  That got some nods.  "We also have some other good news.  We have found the keystone.  It's local.  We know what happened."  They all stared at him and quit writing.  "During that electrical storm a few nights back, the keystone was exposed.  Briefly.  It was in this reality for all of about three minutes."  They all sighed at that.  "During which time a young mother was walking her son off to the buffet in her hotel.  The boy, who is four, petted the shiny rock he saw."

That got some gapes.  He shrugged.  "That's how it happened.  He had apparently been wishing for his stuffed dragon that had gotten wet and was back in the room.  He's four, people.  I can't blame a four-year-old for making a mistake like that.  The mother didn't see him do it but the security cameras did.  As of this moment, the FBI and Homeland have said that there was no real intent behind the act.  The kid had no idea what he was doing.  I talked with him myself and he had no idea what he was doing.  All he did was pet the shiny rock according to him."  They nodded at that.  "His mother's extremely sorry and burst out crying when she heard.  She didn't want her son to do that.  We've went over how it happened and we've got a watch on him in case the stone did something like open up a talent or anything."

"Like the X-Men?" someone asked.

"In this case, more like magic."  That got a laugh.  "How do you think the shield got set in the eleven hundreds, people?"  That stopped the laughing.  "Not like they had laser equipment or anything like that.  The same as the portal that opened for the LA invasion was done by magic, not technology.  Some of us do deal with it now and then."

"Is the boy talented?"

"It's possible if he has one latently this has opened it.  We've had someone teach the mother how to spot the signs and gotten her in touch with people who can help her if he does.  Until then, she's going to be keeping a very close eye on her son."  That got some nods.  "As of right now, the witches working on the shield problem wore themselves out last night.  It's going to take at least a few more days, if not at least a week, to get them up to the strength where they can try again.  We do know that most of the beasts have went back.  The few that haven't are still corralled and being fed by the military and DNR officials."

"Have we proven the equal distribution part of the theory?"

"We have stronger evidence it is so," Greg said from the edge of the entryway.  "Xander, call."  He handed over the phone.  "Sorry, it's the VP."  That got a nod and they went silent while Xander went into the hall.  "We got back all but ten percent of those we know went but we also sent back all but about five percent of the dragons, who weigh a lot more than a human.  There might be a slight difference.  Grouping due to location at the time.  We know the one grouping in Times Square came with the beast they had been eating.  So it does look like it's relative but no one's thought to weigh everything out."  Xander came back.  "We good?"

"We're good."  He came back.  "The people still over there have managed to set up areas to gather in for their own safety.  The people who came back said that there's major groupings in Pensacola, New York, LA, Chicago, around San Francisco, and here in Las Vegas near the keystone.  With all luck, and the witches working on this regaining strength soon, we'll have everyone back by the end of next week.  The end of the month at the latest."  He smiled.  "It could be a lot worse.  The ones who came back reported only a few people got seriously hurt in the displacement.  Mostly some broken bones and concussions.  Only a few people got eaten.  We've added ten names to the list of those missing due to those who had talked to others, and we've crossed off two.  The FBI is going to make sure their next of kin know."  That got a nod.  "As for everyone else, it should be all right.  Let us finish working and thank you for staying calm during this crisis."  He stepped away from the microphone.

"Agent Harris, who are the witches involved?"

"A few are underage and there's people who would still stone them to death.  I'm not mentioning names.  Those who need to know, do.  I'm not exposing anyone to some freak who thinks they're evil because they can float a pencil."  That got a sulk. "Sorry.  In this case, their safety outweighs your need to know.  If they want to come forward later, let them.  I'm not doing that to anyone."  He looked at someone else.  "Questions?"   She shook her head.  "Any other questions?"

"Are you staying locally?" one asked.

"Upstairs.  That way I'm here to help when the witches get here or do whatever I can to help during this.  We have DCIS agents each place there's been a displacement to make sure things go smoothly and to take readings.  We're putting a meter on the thing so we can make sure when it fluxes the next time.  Like I said during the last one, it fluxes now and then a few times a year and occasionally lets something through.  We have two unicorns on base because of a recent one.  Next time we'll have warning.  Our RD people said so and they are fearsome geeks that scare other geeks into worshiping them."  That got a few smiles and he pointed at one who had his hand up.  "Yes?" he asked.

"Sir, what happens if someone's eaten?"

"I don't know.  I would assume for those in the military or law enforcement that would be like being killed in the line of duty.  For civilians I have no clue how it'd be handled.  I don't deal with insurance people outside of sending them money or filling out a form for someone after a case.  I'd ask one of the local ones about that."  That got a nod.  "Any other questions?"

The same reporter stood up.  "What about those who might sue the mother?"

Xander sighed, leaning on the lectern.  "How many of you are parents?"  A few raised their hands.  "How many of you think you could have stopped the boy walking slightly behind you from touching the pretty stone that appeared next to him?"  They all put their hands down.  He looked at him. "While some might want to do that to the mother, and I know it would be done out of grief or fear, something like that, I personally don't think she could have stopped him from touching the stone.  If I had to guess, the judge would probably go on intent.  Then again, I'm not a judge and I don't know the pertinent codes.  Greg?  He's our local liaison by the way."  He looked at him.

"It might be possible to start one if the families of those who got hurt wanted but I doubt it'd be kept up.  I couldn't have stopped him from it.  It only took half a second.  I doubt she could have stopped him."

The reporter nodded.  "So you wouldn't encourage them to try?"

"Why punish her for her four-year-old son making a mistake?" Greg asked.  "He's barely old enough to know what 'bad' means.  Much less that petting a rock might be bad."  He shrugged.  "I'm not a childhood expert.  I'm a DNA expert.  You'd have to ask someone but I personally could not see suing her for something she had no control over."

He nodded.  "Thank you."  He sat down.

Xander smiled at him.  Then at the crowd.  "Thank you, Greg.  Any other questions?"  No one said anything.  "Then I'm going to have caffeine and see if anything else needs my help and how the research is going.  Have a good day, people."  They walked out together.  "Thanks," he mumbled.

"Welcome.  It'd be stupid to try," he muttered back.  "And cruel to the mother."  That got a nod.  "Caffeine?"

"Haven't had breakfast yet."

"Let's eat in your room and we'll see if you need more help."

"I'm hoping Danny's back."  They went up there and he called DC.  "Hey, this is Harris at DCIS.  Some of the missing ones are my people.  Is Agent Tony DiNozzo back or Gibbs?  McGee would do, thank you."  He was put on with him.  "Tim, Xander Harris.  Yeah, me.  Where and how was Tony doing?" He smiled at the 'he defended us all and got a small cut but he's fine the last time I saw him' answer.  "Good.  Very good.  Is Gibbs still there?"  He nodded at the 'still' answer.

"That's fine.  Thanks, have him call when he's back so I can let him do things.  Two press conferences and talking in pubic is not my thing.  I nearly tripped over my words a few times.  I know we could hire a press person but why?  Danny does it so much better and he's used to teaching so he can lecture.  Have a better day and relax.  It's over for now."  He hung up and tried the others' phones.  No answer so they were still there.  "Okay."  He dug into lunch then thought to call Danny's cell.  He got a female answering. "Hi, I'm Xander Harris, trying to reach my boss, Danny Jackson.  Is he back yet?"  He snorted.

"Lady, whoever you are, I do know.  I know all about it.  I knew before I met him thanks to the underground.  All I need to know is if he's back yet.  If he is, have him call."  He listened to her say he was banged up.  "I get that all the time.  You can or talk to our docs.  Whichever he wants.  I'm in Vegas doing his job since Tony's still missing.  Sure, I can fax Jack's office a sit rep if you want."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Thanks."  He wrote it down and faxed it to the number his phone had for Jack's office.  "There we go"

"What does he do?"

"Classified military project."

"Ah.  One of those."  He nodded and finished lunch with him.  "Now what?"

"Now?  Now we wait for Dawn to get better and to try it again."  That got a nod and they relaxed, going over what they knew and how to stop it the next time.  The keystone could appear inside something so maybe a hollow statue there?

TBC...

to part 13

Demon Criminal Investigative Service: Finding the Person Underneath the Agent.

"If this wasn't so screwed up, it'd be kinda pretty," Don Flack said, staring up at the stars.

"Yeah," Danny agreed from next to him.  "Could be considered it.  All the stars, the gentle breeze.  If I was gonna pounce this would be a good time."  They shared a smirk and went back to listening to the others still there snore.  They were safely hidden.  The bus was in front of the cave.  Nothing could get in there.  They were on an upper ledge to the cave, which had a hole up so they could see the stars.  Mac had put them up there for some reason.  They shared another look then shook their heads.  Mac was strange sometimes.  "We hear anything from the others?"

"The witches might've gotten home.  Or they could be injured.  No one came when I tried to call Paige," Don admitted quietly.

"We'll have ta see.  You know damn well no one's gonna leave us here."

"True.  Xander's not like that and I'm sure he's frantically searching right now."

Danny checked his watch.  "It's two in the morning at home.  He's getting a good joke in during the research."  That got a pleased noise and a grunt.  "Think Rosenburg's here?"

"Nope.  Paige said the only DCIS or slayer related people were Cordette's family and us, plus Speed and Ryan."

"Pity.  Rosenburg could probably get us back home."

"Maybe.  This seems a bit more delicate and she seems kinda like a jackhammer instead of a ball-peen."

"Could be," Danny agreed.  He gave him a nudge and pointed.  "Shooting star."

"Wish demons?"

"Doubt it."  So they made a wish they'd get home safely and so would everyone else left there.

"We're trying," a cranky female voice whispered over the breeze.  "Give us another week.  Everyone has to recharge."

"Yes, Phoebe," they whispered back.  Then they cracked up.

Mac looked up at them.  "What's going on?" he called quietly.

"Phoebe said they're recharging, it'll be about a week," Don said, flipping over to look down at him.

"That's good to know.  Now we can plan for food and things."

"Sure, you go steal a bunny rabbit from the dragons, Mac," Danny said, looking over Don's shoulder at him. "Think we'll have a shooting review board."

"I think Xander would yell at us if we don't fire at least once," Don admitted.  He looked at Mac.  "We need to consolidate more."

"The ones from Miami are on their way up.  Calleigh has a satellite phone and somehow it worked."

"That's good!  What about the guys in LA?"

"We'd have to know them."

"Don has one," Danny offered, looking at Don.

"We can try.  I don't."

"Me either.  Maybe we can figure out how ta charm 'em to work?"

Don looked at him.  "Magic?  You?"

"No, you.  Dawn said you had a latent gift."

"I do?" he asked, looking confused.  Danny nodded.  "Huh.  I didn't know that.  No wonder she had me going over the concentration exercises."  He laid back down and went over them again, carefully building back up to the point where he got a headache and then he tried to charm the phone.  He made it up but Dawn and Sam had both said intent was more necessary than rhyming in magic.  His phone rang.  "Yeah, Flack," he answered.  "Dumbass."  He smiled fondly.

"How'd you do yours?"  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Cordette was in LA.  We're up here.  With dragons.  Sure, I'll let 'em know.  Kill something on the way up.  Phoebe said about a week.  Thanks, Wolfe."  He hung up.  "The Florida survivors are coming up for a visit," he called.  "They figured out how to use a tire pump to get enough pressure to pump gas."  That got a cheer.  He tried the number he had for Don Epps, not getting him.  He tried Alan's.  No answer.  He tried Charlie's and smiled.  "Hey, Charlie, Don Flack.  How's she doing?"  He beamed.

"Good!  That's good for her.  Don't know but satellite phones might.  Sure, try him.  See if I managed to fix that.  I tried something magical and gave myself a headache.  We're in New York, the Miami people are coming and there's a good sized group that was in Chicago.  Sure, let me know.  Um, not right off the top of my head."  He considered it.  "I can try what Dawn does.  Who know, ya know?"  He grinned.

"Sure, man.  Be safe.  Guard her.  Let her fuss.  They all fuss.  Sure, if she wants to pet a unicorn and they let her.  The dark gray ones can be petted by people who aren't pure if they let you but even a scratch from a horn has to be taken out because it'll kill cells until they're all gone and you've got a huge hole, even from a scratch.  Sure, I'll tell him.  Later, man."  He hung up.  "How does Dawn do the talking thing?"

"Not a clue," Danny admitted.

"Like a telepathy spell?" Mac asked, standing up to crawl up there with them.  "They work?"

"Dawn said Willow gets hers to work.  Of course, Willow's freakishly powerful."  He considered it then concentrated, whispering a name over and over.  He finally felt a strange, questioning feeling so he put in who he was and that Charlie was with Cordette in LA.  He got back an assertion feeling and it was good.  He shook himself awake.  "Think I got him.  Charlie's the closest they have to hunters in LA's group right now.  A few starlets, an agent.  An insurance guy.  Connor can't hunt food."  He shrugged.  "Charlie wanted to know if an FBI agent was over here since they've worked with him.  Don has some sort of freakish sense of when he's around so he was sure he was."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Aspirin?"

"In the bus," Mac said.

Don slid down the small drop, going to the bus to get the first aid kit.  He saw a dragon watching him and waved with a bright smile.  He realized he was picking up bad habits off Xander again.  "What?  Sho!"  It sniffed then bellowed something.  A younger one came over to sniff too.  Don glared and pulled out a flare, lighting it and sending it out there.  They both ran from the fire.  Don got out to look, shooting the three rabbits that had been hiding under the bus.  "Caught dinner," he called.

Mac came out.  "I'm lucky to be stuck with you two."

"What can I say?  Xander's been hard at work training us and the girls."  He carried one in by the ears.  "Rabbits," he said, holding his up.  He sipped some water to take the tylenol and went back to his sleeping spot.   His phone rang a few minutes later so he handed it off.

Mac answered it.  "Flack's phone."  He smiled.  "He's fine.  Just knocked himself out, ma'am.  Sure, I can tell him to quit doing that.  Anything else?"  He smiled.  "The Florida group is going to be up here soon."  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Don, she said to stop doing that before you exhaust yourself and have a brain aneurism."

"Was gonna do that anyway.  Headache's not fun."

"Good."  He got to work skinning and cleaning the rabbits.  The others still with them helped and it was good.  "What do you guys carry for ammo?" Mac asked.

Danny dropped down and handed him his gun.  "The standard is hollow-tipped holy water rounds.  We have cold iron and wood ones at the base."

"Wow," an officer said, looking at them.  "They don't look that hard to make."

"Xander and John do ours," Danny said with a shrug.  "You know, there's an opening in the local version of DCIS.  The NYPD one.  Two pretty detectives."

The guy blushed.  "My wife would mind.  Even if she might think I slept with you guys she'd mind."

"Sure, if you're sure.  If not, ya know, let Mac know.  He's over that too."

"I can do that."  He finished gutting his rabbit and put it on a stick.  "How did we get the phones to work?"

"Magic," Danny said.

The officers all looked at him then laughed.  "Trade secret?" one suggested.

Danny smirked.  "How do you think we got here?"  They all groaned, shaking their heads.  "Yeah, it's real and it works for some.  Don's apparently one of the some.  The ladies that appear now and then are witches too.  They're training the one we work with on base.  They're nice ladies but they fight demons too."  They all shook their heads.  Danny settled in to help burn the rabbits over the fire.  Not like he was a grill master.

"Turn it more often," Mac said when it started to smoke.  Danny did that, earning a few smirks.  "Who's in Miami?"

"The hummer's crew is left.  Speed, Ryan, Horatio, and Calleigh."

"She can hunt I'm sure.  Horatio might."

"Wolfe said they've been eating just fine," Don called down.

"Good.  When will they be here?" an officer asked.

"Four hours.  They had to stop to suck some gas outta a car."  He shifted onto his side and sniffed.  "Guys, I smell birds."

Danny sniffed.  "You smell bird crap.  So, harpy?"

"If so, I'm not listening to it," Don said dryly.  "Go rant, Danny."

"Maybe Speed can.  He's got a mouth on 'im."  They went back to roasting.  They'd deal with it when it attacked them.

***

Daniel Jackson woke up, blinking at the nurse above him.  "Morning."

"Want a sit rep from your people?"

"What did Xander have to blow up this time?" he demanded tiredly.

"Lots of people disappeared, sir.  Something about a shield and dragons appearing?"

"Aw, shit," he muttered, taking the note.  The nice note at the top of 'got nine-tenths back, working on the rest, our people still there, am in Las Vegas handling it since this is where the keystone is' didn't make him happy.  "Phone?"

"You need to rest," the head doctor complained.

Danny sat up, holding his head.  "Shut up."  She backed away, looking scared.  "My agency is having a crisis.  I need to handle it.  Get me my cellphone please.  Janet wouldn't complain in an emergency."  A nurse handed it to him.  "Who called?"

"Him.  He said he'd fax it to the general's office.  Wanted to know if you were back.  Said he knew already knew and didn't need details."

"Yeah, there's a whole underground."  He called him.  "I'm awake.  What happened?"  Xander let Greg babble at him while he fixed something.  "Sanders, what is he doing?  Why is he fixing your gun?"  He blinked then nodded.  "Huh.  Okay.  And we're doing what?"  He listened to the rest of the report.  "You babble less than Abby, it's easier to understand you.  Thank you.  Give him back the phone?"  It was passed back.

"How did you explain me not handling it and making statements?"  Xander quipped he had been off on a special assignment and unable to be contacted.  "Well, it's the truth at least.  Anything else I should know?"  He nodded.  "I can call him.  What's our next step?"  He smirked.  "That'll work.  Thank you, Xander.  Keep me updated at new things or daily.  I'll be in Vegas with you within a few days."  He hung up and looked at the nurses.  "Jack already out?"

"The general is sulking in his office, sir."

"That's not that unusual.  He hates to do the paperwork."  He got out and pulled on a shirt since he didn't have one on.  "Been nice, ladies.  Thank you."  He walked out, heading for the main office.  He stopped to look at someone.  "Hey, Sam."

"Daniel."  She gave him a hug.  "How's the head?"

"Sucks."  He walked off with her.  "I've got to check in.  Xander had to talk to the press."  She shuddered.  "He's handled it so far?"

"So far.  I have no idea why he's hanging out in Las Vegas."

"Because that's where the keystone is.  Dawn's going to be joining him in a few days so they can cast the return spell from there."  He walked into the office.  "I'm using the red phone."

"Go ahead, he yelled at me," Jack told him.  "Said I was too old to get banged up this way."

Danny looked ta him.  "Who complains about your knees?"

"Good point.  How's the head?"

"Sucks."  He picked up the receiver.  "It's Doctor Daniel Jackson.  I'm awake now.  What the hell happened?" he demanded, making them jump.  "No, Xander's been in charge.  I'm surprised we aren't under military law and no one's picked up artillery yet."  Jack snickered.  "From the top, please.  I got a 'it's handled' and a short summary from Sanders."  He listened.  It was not a happy story but so far it had a happy ending.  "Um- huh."  He sighed.  "Okay.  Have me heading for Las Vegas within a few days.  I can do that.  They have a base there.  Speaking of, my base?"  He listened then nodded.  "That'll work. Thank you."  He hung up.  "The Secretary of State said she'd pass it on."  He looked at Sam then at him.  "I need a ride to Vegas."

"Sure," Jack agreed.  "Xander's been on tv twice, once a report, once showing him going out to dinner with someone."

"Who was?"

"An unidentified male," Sam told him, grinning some.  "Maybe a boyfriend?"

"If so the evil women will rise up and kill us all."  He went to find his bags in his borrowed suite, showering and changing.  He came out to find Jack ready.  "You're going?"

"In case they come back."

"They shouldn't."  They walked out together. "If I know Xander, he has weapons with him."  They got onto the plane and buckled up, letting the military transport plane take them to Las Vegas.  It wasn't that long of a flight at least.  Danny finished his nap.

***

Xander smirked at Jack and shook Danny's hand. "Dawn said she'll be ready to try again in two days and she said they should be too.  Prue said magic was easier over there according to the witches."

"Good.  Dinner?"

"Recruiting."

"Oh.  Who?"

"Hodges.  Their trace tech that's been helping Abby anyway."  He smirked.

"Uh-huh."

"We got a budget raise but the president said he'd appoint someone before he let me handle it and screw things up.  He doesn't think I can do that.  So I pointed out I did the Council one and he went to have a headache.  So if you don't come back some day, we get Sheppard and McKay full time."

"Us first," Jack said dryly.

Xander grinned at him.  "He's got someone to take over for you."  He waved a hand at the car.  "Rented on the company card, boss."

"That's fine, Xander.  Do we need the weapons you brought?"  Because he knew he did.

"Only one.  The small demon tried to eat someone and I stepped in."  He smirked.  "Pity.  I needed more stress relief than that.  Too bad there's press people."  They got in and went back to the hotel.  Danny had a room reserved.  He could share with Jack or Xander could.  They went up to go over all the information.  Including that Dawn had figured out how to monitor the shield for more twitches.  One had happened in Iowa and brought back another dragon.  Xander looked at them.  "I do have news."  They stared at him.  "McKay said the one dragon that made it onto the base headed for the small spot where a wraith had grabbed him and tried to eat that spot.  It was an herbivore."

"It was eating the wraith taint?" Jack demanded.  Xander smirked and nodded, handing over the report.  "Sheppard would freak."

"Tough shit.  We have an egg.  It'll be a good guardian and Tiff claimed it."  They moaned.  "It's that or you guys get the unicorns."

"No," Danny said patiently.  "Why do you want them gone?"

"Everyone's harped on that and asked if that was the reason.  I about shot a reporter when she started on them before coffee yesterday, Danny."

"I'll handle it now, Xander."  That got a nod.  "Good job so far."  Xander grinned.  "Go take a nap.  You clearly haven't been really sleeping."

"I'm too tense."  Jack did something to his neck and he went out.

"Battle tenseness.  My first one my CO did it to me."  He sat down to look over the report again.  "Sheppard is going to shit if we hand him the egg."

"Yay."  A portal opened and Dawn walked through.  "Shouldn't you be saving energy?"

"Yes, but I need to be here and our airport's closed due to the nice dragon that's presently humping the tower."  They moaned.  "They can't sedate it, it's not working.  House went to sedate it so I'm getting out of the way."  She pulled her bag over and closed the portal.  "Give me three days and I'll be fine."

"Good," Danny agreed.  "We have approximately seventy-six people left over there."

"Including Cordette and Charlie."  Danny moaned.  "She was the only slayer taken.  Cleveland only had two small crossovers, both in the same park as the hellmouth."

"Damn," he muttered.  "She okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine."  She sat on the edge of the bed.  "I need to feel the area anyway.  Attune myself to it.  The ladies over there have theirs already."

"That's fine, Dawn.  We can work on it."  Greg tapped then walked in.  "Hey, Sanders.  Dawn, this is Greg Sanders, our local liaison."

"Hey."  She waved.  "Your people bothering you like they are him?"

"Only that I suggested Hodges could go work in their lab.  I nearly got screamed at for that."  He handed Danny a cup.  "Black with sugar."  Danny smiled.  He looked at Xander.  "It was his."

"He needs a nap," Dawn said, floating him up and over.  Then she took his chair.  "Okay.  What if some of them stay here?"

"We can try later."

"No, when I do the spell, it's snapping the shield back into place and it should not open again," Dawn told him.  "We four witches agreed on that.  It's not coming down for another few centuries.  The only access will be the keystone."

"How did it come down this time?" Jack asked.

"The funky electrical storm that was causing hell in LA moved this way.  Lightening hit the hotel's spikes and it flashed briefly on this side.  A four-year-old boy petted the shiny rock."  They all nodded once at that.  "He had no idea.  He wanted his stuffed dragon that mommy had drying back in the room."

"That's not something that can be helped," Danny told him.  He took a drink and looked inside the cup then at Greg, who grinned.  "Good coffee."

"I don't drink swill."  He sipped his own.  "Now what?"

"I can be ready in three days," Dawn told him.  That got a nod.  "So can they.  Some of the groups got consolidated.  The witches are here in Vegas with the keystone.  The rest of the Las Vegas and San Fran groups got sent to LA with some of the cars that appeared over there.  Miami and New York's group were going to huddle together for safety and so Ryan and Danny can smart off at Speed again.  I felt Flack doing something.  I'm guessing it was to help communication by what I felt.  That leaves a major group in Chicago and a few up by Portland, Oregon, and Washington, DC."

"Are you keeping yourself tethered?" Danny asked.

"I have to until the final spell.  The keystone needs to be linked to something to come back here for my part.  We need the hotel to clear that area and cover it so I'm not shown on tv.  Xander made it real clear he's not mentioning who any of the witches are since I'm underage and he didn't want a witch hunt."

"We got tapes of both conferences for you," Greg assured him.

"Good.  Thank you."  He smiled and finished his coffee.  "Okay.  Dawn, get a room.  We'll work on the arrangements tonight."  She nodded.  "Where is Tony?"

"Over there with Gibbs.  We figure the Miami group picked them up on the way.  As long as we don't botch it, they'll come home."  He nodded.  "Can I borrow the corporate card?  Or should Giles pay for it?"

"You're fixing our problem, we will," Danny said.  "Greg?"  He nodded, taking Xander's wallet with him.  "That's why I leave Xander in charge, Jack.  He handles everything, even if he does need a nap now and then."  He got up and went back to his room.  The tapes got sent up and he watched them.  Poor Xander.  He clearly wasn't comfortable with doing it but he did okay.  Even made a small bad joke.  Though it had been a good point about the kids who'd go out to hunt dragons to make a name for themselves.

***

Charlie looked up from his watching when someone seemingly appeared out of the daily morning fog.  "Agent Edgerton," he said, giving him a hug.

"Charlie Epps.  No Don?"

"They went home for some reason.  Cordette?"  She came jogging out.  "Your hair is a mess, young lady.  We'll have to wash it later.  This is Ian Edgerton.  He's on fugitive recovery but he's an agent like Don."

"Nice to meet you, Agent Edgerton."  She shook his hand.  "I'm being helpful by gutting the rabbit and keeping the unicorns out of the food."  She skipped off.

"She's a strong girl.  Don's?  Or yours?"  No other reason to introduce them.

"She's the youngest slayer called," Charlie said quietly.  Ian moaned.  "We all adopted her.  She was six when she was called.  She's nearly nine."

"That's a good job then.  Your dad fuss?"

"You have *no* idea how much Dad fusses."  He walked him back that way.  "I know Don was going to ask you if you would help him teach her how to hunt."

"I can do that."  He smiled at the young girl.  "She seems sweet."

"She is but she's a hellcat when she has to be.  Don got the flu and tried to hide so Dad wouldn't fuss."  Ian cackled.  "Exactly.  She took the city bus, by herself, without telling us, after sneaking out of school, to go to his apartment and baby him.  When Don complained, she tied him down and did it anyway.  Dad said her knots were very good when he went to rescue him later on."  Ian laughed louder.

"Don't tell him mean things about me," she complained.

"Just how you like to fuss, dear."  She stuck her tongue out then went back to work.  "Dad is so happy to have her.  She's a great kid.  Drives us insane sometimes but she's a good kid."  They shared a look.  "Dad has to learn how to braid hair but he's fine with that."

"Uh-huh.  Megan has a girl to fuss over."

"That she does," he agreed dryly.  "Amita too."  That got a nod.  "Megan took her school shopping.  It took four days, all day for four days, and they spent six hundred on her."

"Yup, she's a girl," Ian said dryly.  "What does she need help learning?"

"None of the stalking or the sneaking stuff is instinctive.  Weapons are but not everything or how to aim.  Don's taken her to the range.  She's learned how to use a bow.  We found one in a car and she brought down something threatening the unicorns.  Plus dinner a few times.  She needs the hunting, tracking, those lessons.  Both urban and not."

"I can help with that now and then.  I figured Don could do some."

"He can but not all of it.  You're a better tracker."

"I am," he said with a smile.  Cordette bounced over to hand him something.  "Rabbit?"

"Yup."  She went back to helping fix the dinner.  She was the only girl there so the guys had said it was her job.

"She nearly beat up on the guy who said it was her job to cook," Charlie told him.  "I got him instead.  He's manning the radio station's van."

"I heard the broadcast.  Good job."  He nibbled on the rabbit.  "Still a bit rare, Cordette."

"Sorry."

"I did it my first few times too."  He came over to help her.  Charlie went back to his lookout post.  That showed trust.  She smiled at him.  "I know, you can beat me up."

"Maybe, but if I can't, Connor can."  She nodded at him.  "He's Angel's son."

Connor waved.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Agent Ian Edgerton.  Friend of her uncle's."

"I figured you were if Charlie was giggling at you and you didn't say anything about the hair."  He smirked at the quiet snicker from Cordette.  "My girlfriend does.  Cordette came in thinking that was an extra pet."  Ian laughed at that.  "Let me take over food duties, Codette.  Take Charlie down to take a bath in the ocean."  She nodded, bouncing off.  "So you do what?"

"Fugitive recovery.  Tracking, hunting, that stuff."

"She could use that skill.  She's got a long time until she's twenty-three."  He nodded.  "Want to rewarm it?"

"Nah, it's fine."  He dug into his rabbit leg and watched the girl and her uncle bounce off together.  They were cutely babbling at each other about math.  "He's clearly training her."

"Yup.  She's already smarter than me or Buffy."  He shook his head, turning the spit to work on the other side of the rabbit.

***

Xander looked up as someone walked up to him.  He was overseeing draping the area for Dawn to work in.  "Yes, can I help you?"

"Are you Alexander Harris?"

"Yup.  Why?"

"May I have a minute of your time?  Away from the press people?"

Xander glared at the press and they shrank back.  "What?"  He turned to look at him.  "We're going to be working on this later."

"There's a small matter someone wanted to talk to you about."

"Regarding?  I don't have the energy to verbally spar today."

"Your lucky streak."

"I'm pretty sure it's ended.  I walked past a machine and it didn't go off this time."

"There are still those who want to talk to you about it, sir."  Xander huffed, following him.  He tapped on a hotel room door and the person inside opened it.

Xander stared then snickered.  "I heard you died in Sunnydale, Uncle Rory."

"I clearly didn't."

"Yay you.  What do you want?"

"A nice nestegg so no one has to hear about certain...things."

"You know what?  My boss is down in 1218.  Go tell him for all I care."

"The press doesn't know," he sneered to keep him from walking off.

Xander turned back to look at him.  "What do you think you have one me, Rory?  By now they know I hunted."

"Do they know what hunting means?  Or about your graduation?"

Xander snorted.  "Someone asked me about that.  I told them to ask the FBI.  Anything else?"

"I was there."

"Yay you.  Though, no you weren't.  I was helping make sure people go away.  None of you were there."  He turned and walked off, heading right to his boss.  "Hey, boss, my Uncle Rory would like to talk to you," he said in his ear.  "He said he wants to talk to you about my graduation and what hunting really meant."

Danny looked at him.  "He's where?"

"Upstairs on nine.  915."

"Let me go do that.  You finish this."  He nodded, and Danny strolled off to talk to the miscreant.  This was going to be a very stress relieving talk.  He tapped on the door.  "I heard you wanted to talk to me about what my third-in-command used to do in Sunnydale?"  The man smirked and let him inside.  The talk was informative, but it only added details to what he already knew.  At the end, the FBI agent he had signaled burst in to arrest him for attempted blackmail.  Danny walked off to get Xander a soda and him some coffee.  He handed Xander his, turning to look at the draped area.  "You're good with me."  Xander relaxed.  "Though, graduation sounded nasty."

"Yeah, it was."

They dragged Rory out in handcuffs, letting Xander wave at him.  "You okay?"

"I thought he was dead."  He opened his soda and took a drink.  The lead FBI agent came back.  "What?"

He turned away from the press trying to watch.  "Gas leak?"

"Ascension.  Same result.  I led the defensive action.  Built the bombs too."

"Good to know.  Now that we do, call us."

Xander looked at him.  "It's in Cleveland now."

"I'll alert that office.  Not like we're going to charge you."  He walked off calling his boss to ask for a conference in person.  They had all wondered about a few things in Sunnydale now that things were getting more open.  They'd have to pop into Cleveland to talk to Mr. Giles since he had been there.

Security snuck Dawn down into the covered area.  Xander went in with her, getting a short smile.  "I'm your backup and guard, Dawn.  Relax."

"I'm trying."  She settled herself on the nest of pillows Xander had put down for her.  She centered herself, calling up Prue to merge more with her.  She felt Xander beside her and felt the warm glow of his aura brushing over hers.  She took his hand and they reached out to the others through the keystone.  They reached back and met, and they cast the spell.  The shield dropped.  Animals appeared everywhere but then it blinked back into place, as strong as when it was first cast.  The keystone faded from the local plane and into the other one.  She looked up to see three familiar faces. "Hi."  Then she passed out.  Xander caught her.

He waved his free hand.  "Welcome home.  Do you think we got everyone?"

"We couldn't find everyone. A group of seven or eight are missing," Piper admitted.  She came over to help him with Dawn.  "She's fine, just exhausted."

"House is going to love us."  Xander handed her over.  "Where were they?"

"Chicago."

Xander nodded, going out to grab the bag he had brought down.  "All but eight, boss."  He walked back in there and found the spot where the keystone sat, stepping onto it and willing himself across, to wherever the people were.  He dropped the bag and lit a flare first, tossing it around so he could see.  Then he pulled out his battle axe and went after everyone.  This was the reward for being the calm one during the crisis.  Hunting down the last few.  When he was done, he was tired, but he linked back into the keystone and Dawn, Sam, and Dean in his mind, grabbing his gear bag to take with him and the rescued people.  Pity about the goblins who had them, but oh well.  They reappeared in the middle of the now open area.  "They need medics," he called.  Paramedics rushed over to help them.  Xander got free of one.  "Them, not me."  He walked off, handing the boss his gear bag.  "Let me go clean off the baby."

"Sure," he said, watching him go.  He looked at the guys then at Jack.  "Are you sure he's not your son?"

"Yeah.  Doesn't look a thing like me, Danny."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Go help.  Be a Fed."  Danny snorted but went to help the agents.  Jack tracked down the boy to watch over him for now.  Someone would try to bother him and he looked hot from the battle.

***

Tony looked up from roasting a ...something he didn't want to think about being small and furry, as the world changed.  "Huh," he said, going back to roasting it.

Gibbs looked around then stomped back to where Tony was.  "DiNozzo!"

"What?  I'm hungry."  He split it with him and nibbled while someone went to get an agent and a fire extinguisher.  Having a fire in the middle of Congress' building was not a good idea.  Secret Service came running.  "Hi, thanks for the retrieving.  Gibbs and DiNozzo.  NCIS and DCIS."

The agent in front looked at the fire then at him.  "What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, we were over there and now we're not so I'm guessing we're home."  He ate a bite and chewed then swallowed.  "Before that, I was cooking.  A man's gotta eat, even us."  He looked at the huffing agent coming their way.  "Hey, Fornell.  We're back."

"I heard."  He stopped to look at them. "You good?"

"Small claw mark.  You guys?   Everyone else?"

"Your agency is still standing considering Harris was in charge."

"Xander can do the work."  He finished his meal.  "Sorry about the fire but it came with us."

"That's nothing.  Come on, let's get you two debriefed and real showers."

"Please," Gibbs agreed, finishing his dinner on the way.  At least he had finished peeing before the transport started.  The agents escorting them picked up the rest of their camp for them.  "They couldn't warn us?"

"It'd take more energy."  They got let into a car and taken off.  "Why are we going to the White House?"

"The president said so," Fornell said with a grimace.  "He said before we debriefed or got you showers."

"That's fine," Tony said dryly.  He pushed his greasy hair back.  "We managed somehow."  He looked at Gibbs.  "So."

"So," he agreed. "You didn't look too bad with that sword, DiNozzo."

"Thanks, boss.  Xander made us all learn.  Every single Sunday afternoon we have at least an hour of sword practice if we're on base.  We all complain but it's come in handy a few times."  Fornell gave him an odd look.  "Some things you have to behead.  Like some things take artillery."  They pulled in and parked, so he got out first, stretching.  Gibbs did the same.  "Oh, nice to be out of the cave."  They walked inside, nodding at the Marine who saluted Gibbs.  "Office, Staff Sergeant?"

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you."  He walked that way, nodding at a few people.  One gave him a horrified look.  "Sorry, not like I had soap on me when I got displaced."  He knocked on the door then walked in.  "Sir, your secretary is missing if this is a bad time."

"She's getting you two something to nibble on while we debrief you," the Vice President said from his chair.  "We covered them so even if you're nasty it's all good."  They came in and sat down.  "What happened?"

"I was testifying and then I wasn't," Tony said.  "What did happen?"

"Harris found out the keystone came over here thanks to a strange electrical storm in Las Vegas.  A young child touched the pretty, appearing rock."

"That makes sense."  Tony stood when the secretary came in, Gibbs too.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, DiNozzo.  Your boss and Harris are both in Las Vegas.  Doctor Jackson ordered all agents to call and check in with him by tonight."

"As soon as I'm done here."  She nodded and left.  He sat down, handing Gibbs his plate.  "There you go, boss.  Beats the small, furry thing you captured."  He dug into the roast beef, moaning at the taste.  "That's good.  Excuse me if I eat like a slayer, sirs."  He dug in, eating fast.

"Do either of you need medical?" the president asked.

"He has a small swipe from a dragon's claw but otherwise he should be fine," Gibbs told him.  He dug into his own meal.  It was good.  They finished up and reached for the coffee.  Tony gave him first cup and then they looked at their ultimate bosses.  "What do you want to know, sir?"

***

Danny looked up as their cave changed to an old, abandoned building.  "Hey, looks like we're home.  Don!" he bellowed.  He came in from the back of the building. "We're home."

"I recognized the concrete."  He went to check.  Ryan was outside, inches from the stone.  Speed wasn't around. "Speed?" he yelled.

"Up here," Speed called back, coming down the rickety stairs.  "H?  Wolfe?  Calleigh?" They all waved or made noises.  "Taylor?"

Danny pointed.  "Transporting seems to knock him out."  They gathered things and Don's phone rang.  "Xander?"

"No.  Danny."  He answered it.  "Hey, boss.  We're fine.  Wolfe, Speedle, and Messer are all here with us.  All the ones that were with us too.  New York, smells like Long Island."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Thanks, boss."  He hung up.   "We've got ten days to figure out if we're staying or not," he told the other agents, getting nods.  "Or we're to report.  Tonight, just do a report."  They all nodded and went to get a ride back to their homes or motels.  The Miami crew came with them.  Calleigh called their boss to tell him they were fine and in New York.

***

Cordette appeared and squealed, pouncing. "DON!"

"You and Charlie are okay."  He nodded at Ian.  "Thanks."

"I only got there a few days back."  He patted her on the back.  "She's good."  That got a smile.  "I can make her better though."

"I was going to ask the next time we ran into you."  He saw his dad and handed her over.

"Daddy Alan."  She cuddled him too.  "How's my kitty?  I was good and didn't bring home a unicorn."

"I can see that.  I'm very proud of you and how good you did, Cordette."  She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek, wiggling down. "What?"

"I need a shower, I'm gross and sticky.  Plus Uncle Charlie's hair needs help too.  It's all wild and needs petted again."

"We'll go do that once we get you guys debriefed by the agents."  She grabbed her belt.  "Not that way."

"Fine.  Though I need to change."

"We can do that in a few minutes," Don promised, patting her on the head.

"Go wash your hands, my hair's nasty," she complained, making shooing motions.  Ian laughed.  "It is," she huffed, stamping a foot.

"Just laughing at the very girlish statement, dear," he told her.  He looked around.  "Connor?"

She considered it.  "No strange feeling so he's off somewhere.  Wasn't he going to fish?"  Ian nodded.  "So call him."  She called his cellphone, getting a grunt for an answer. "We're home."  She smiled at his 'of course we are, there's boats' answer.  "We're at the FBI building.  Do you need Connor too, Don?"

"No, sweetie, let Connor fish if he wants to."

"Okay.  Connor, Don said you could fish or go find your girlfriend and do disgusting things to her mouth again."  She hung up to laughter on both sides.  "He does.  Kissing is gross."

"You'll like it some day," Alan assured her.  "Debriefing?"

"Medical check.  Making sure they don't need shrinks."

"I'm sure we're all fine.  Charlie, do you have more than bruises?"

"No.  The one time I almost did she knocked me down and beat the thing on me."

"Good.  Then we're going home and I'll fix dinner."  Her eyes lit up.  "Yes, real food like on base."  He led her out to the car and the others followed.  Ian found his jeep there.  "Blessed?" he joked.

"A shaman said it'd follow me like a spirit guide."  He gave him a look then pointed.  "The radio station van."

"Charming."  They went over to turn it off and then went to the house with Ian following.  He could use a shower too probably.  He definitely needed some food.  He was too thin again.

***

Danny tapped on Xander's room door, smiling when he opened it.  "Goblins?"

"What?"

"You went and took on goblins to save them."  He walked in and let him shut the door.  "Usually we give medals for those sort of things."

"I was helping by blowing off stress.  I hate dealing with the press and public speaking.  The coroner's inquest was bad enough."  He flopped down.  "Am I in trouble?"

"Why would you be?"

"Did something wrong?"

"Only if you stay longer than we are.  We're leaving in the morning."  Xander grinned at that.  "You handled it like Jack would've and it was good work, Xander.  You're not in trouble but if I ever run into the reason you have low self esteem I'm going to beat them then give them to Dawn."  He patted his leg, getting a grin back.  "Go have fun tonight.  Don't come back with anything that'll make House snicker."

"Dawn said that when Anya had her anti-disease spell put on Willow put one on me too."

"Even better.  Go have fun.  Relax, it's done with and Dawn's resting with her teachers.  They're all back at their house."  He left, going to relax in his own room. The hotel was shifting things around and putting a nice, hollow statue in the keystone's place so it would appear inside it if it came back.  That way they'd never have to do it again.  Everyone had pulled through.  They were all good.  It was time to relax and nap because he had a headache from the last head injury.

***

Mac and Horatio sat outside at Mac's apartment later that night.  "You okay?"

"No.  They seem so happy to be doing that."  He sipped his beer.  "Alexx is going to kill us if they don't come home with us."

"You might like North Dakota."

"I might."  He looked at his friend.  "You?"

"I had no idea Danny was that sort of competent.  It never came out in the lab.  Even with the new skills, he and Don seem to be happy together out there."  He shrugged. "I don't know.  Stella's already pouting."

"The girls who came down for our last problem said I'd make a good watcher.  You probably would too.  That would get you on the base."  He took another drink.  "Or we could apply out there."

"We could," he sighed.  He looked up.  "I've been here for a long time."

"She'd want you to move on and be happy, Mac."  Mac nodded at that wisdom.  He smiled at the car pulling up.  "Looks like Don's taunting this time."

"Ryan probably deserved it," he teased.

"It's possible.  We didn't give him a very fair shake when he was with us but we do miss them."  He finished his beer.  "Boys, is there some reason we're disturbing the peace?"

"We deserve it after our vacation," Don said happily.  "Plus, my ma sniffled and said I'd better be finding her a daughter-in-law soon.  Didn't even nag."

"You introduce her to Danny?" Mac asked.  Both men shook their heads and giggled.  "It's clear to some of us."

"Close friends, Mac, not that."  Stella swatted him. "Hey!"

"Dumbass.  You want him.  He left his good job, family, all that to come be with you in the middle of nowhere, where he probably can't get a decent hotdog.  Of course he wants you."  Don spluttered.  "Even if he is trying to say he's straight."  She sat down between the two bosses.  "So, guys.  We good?"

"We're good," Horatio said with a smile.

"Good.  Then I call for a massive moving party to North Dakota.  That way we make sure those two don't get into more trouble."

"Hey!" all the DCIS agents complained.  Horatio laughed.

"Calleigh will be over in a while, after she calls Eric to make him quit pacing," Ryan said, leaning against the stair's railing.  "It's a pretty night out tonight.  No humidity like there is in Miami."

"A night like tonight down there and you'd be sopping wet from it," Speed agreed.  "There's probably snow at the base."

"Brenda said it tried but it melted."

"Uh-huh."  He shook his head, sitting on the bottom step.  "Now what?"

"Now," Horatio said.  "You've set up the office for us.  The Commissioner is very worried this might happen again so he's upped it to two more people.  Stetler applied for some reason but he got turned down.  Then we'll see I guess."

"I guess," Ryan agreed.  He and Speed shared a look.  "We're still thinking, H."

"As are we all, Ryan.  As are we all."

Calleigh got out of a cab and came over to sit with them.  "We should go make pigs of ourselves at some buffet."

"Eat like a slayer?" Don teased.  "Us?"

"Sounds good to me," Calleigh said.  "Stella?"

"I had a snack but I'm all for it.  Chinese, or whatever?"

"Chinese," everyone decided, heading for the favorite place for the lab to have a dinner together.  Sheldon got called in but that was fine.  They liked Sheldon.

***

Danny Messer looked around the lab then back at Don.  "Last day," he said quietly.

"Yeah."  He swallowed.  "I have no idea."

"Me either.  Last time, I was pretty pissed.  This time Stella's not mad and pouting.  I  don't know.  It's not normal."  He started to pace.

"Speed said the same thing.  Horatio's been acting all weird too.  Calleigh, Eric, and Alexx too."  He stopped Danny.  "I like it here, but I kinda like it there."

"Me too.  It's like it's comfy."

Don smiled.  "Very.  Especially with all the little sisters we seem to have."  That got a grin back.  "So?"

"I..."  He looked out in the hall, catching Mac watching them.  "He thinks we're together."

"I can see a point to that thought.  Took me a bit to see it though."  He smirked.  "Well?"

"I'm...  I've gotta pack," he said.  He relaxed.  It felt right.  He loved the people at DCIS.  They were family.  They didn't care if he had screwed up in his past.  "When do we tell 'em?"

"Later."  He patted him on the arm.  "Figure out that case so we can go pack."  That got a nod and they did that then walked out together.  They ran into Stella, who gave them a hug.  "You know, huh?"

"We'll be working together all the time," she promised.  "Even if I have to open a demon gate."  She stared at them, then smiled.  "And congrats for finally figuring it out, guys.  It took three years for what the rest of us knew ages ago."  She winked.  "We'll be visiting more regularly too."  She walked off.  "Go before Mac gets mushy."  They nodded, heading off.  She went to Mac's office.  "They're packing."

"I know."  He looked at her.  "Stella...."

"Mac, the letter you wrote last week is still in your top desk drawer.  So is mine."  He gaped.  "Sheldon's considering."  She walked off.  She had to clear up some paperwork before she left in three days.

Mac checked the letter and nodded, pulling out his own to sign.  He dropped them on his desk and gathered up what he needed to take with him.  His pictures, his awards.  His flag.  It fit very neatly in an evidence box and no one said anything.  He left, going home to pack.  He looked around then frowned.  "I wonder if they still have that moving company."  He found a message on his machine and hit the button.

"Mac, sublet.  Quit stressing about the things," Stella ordered.  "That's why there's storage places in both areas.  And moving companies to put it into storage."  She hung up.

He laughed.  "Maybe she is psychic," he decided.  He got to work packing what he needed to go with him.  Then the rest could be put into storage and moved out sometime.  He was sure there were houses out in North Dakota.  Plus Don's apartment had been nice.

***

Horatio looked at Alexx, who was crying in his office.  "What?"

"They're going to leave."

"I know."  He stood up to give her a hug.  "We'll miss them but we can visit."

She looked at him.  "It's dangerous.  They need us at their backs.  We're family."

"That would mean moving you, the kids, and Peter to North Dakota."

"He's a lawyer and they probably need them out there too."  She sniffled, taking a tissue to blow her nose.  "I don't know, Horatio."

"I'm having the same dilemma, Alexx.  I don't want them to go."  He rubbed her arms.  "We'll figure it out."

Eric leaned in.  "H, can't we handcuff them?"  Alexx burst out laughing.  "Momma would not be happy if I left.  She said so."

"There's not a lot of women on the base, Eric.  But a whole town full that hasn't met you yet.  The closest they've come to you is Tony DiNozzo."

Eric snorted.  "He has nothing on a real playboy, H, and he knows it."  He looked back then at her.  "I like Miami."

"So stay," Horatio told him.

"Then Speed would get into trouble and die again."

"Perhaps but they do have teams."

"Which need more CSI."  Calleigh walked around him and handed over a letter.  "The armory job?"

"No!  An investigative one.  Jackson is accepting applications again."  She walked off happier.  She'd be one of maybe six women on base who weren't slayers but that was fine with her.  She had worked her way up here, she could there.  Besides, she'd be with Stella.  They could pal around.

Horatio looked at the letter then pulled out his own.  Alexx sniffled and pulled one out of her bag, handing it to him.  Eric sighed and wrote his own out.  "I'll follow this time," he complained.  Alexx petted his hair.  "You tell Momma."

"I can do that," Horatio told him.  Eric signed his name and folded it up, leaving it there.  They left together, going to clean out lockers and desks.  Horatio had already done his.  Eric was right, someone had to watch over the boys.  They got into serious trouble.  Like Ryan taking on a water dragon with a sword.

***

Everyone reappeared for their first morning back.  Danny Jackson smiled.  "Guys."  They all looked at him.  "Welcome home."  They smiled and nodded.  "We're getting applications again."  He looked at McGee and his Gibbs shadow who had walked onto base like he already worked there.  Wesley had already taken him in as a watcher trainee so it was good.  John and Gibbs growled for a few minutes then started naming tours of duty.  Gibbs had won but Brenda had knocked him down and stared at him while sitting on him until he gave in.  So it was fine.  McGee was doing their computer things.  "Hey, Xander?"  He looked over from his seat with the girls.  "We need more desks.  Where did we get the last ones from?"

"Ikea."

Danny grinned.  "That'll work."

"We've got that spare room," Xander reminded him.  "Am I knocking down another wall?"  Danny nodded.  "I can do that.  You order things."

"I'll help," Dean told him.  That got a grin and a nod.  "Less to do until we get them trained anyway."  Danny Jackson smirked at him.  "There is."

"I was going to ask for some more time for sword lessons," Don Flack said hesitantly.

"Sure," John agreed, earning a grin.  "Tony?  Danny, any of the rest of you?"  They all nodded.  "That's fine.  We can start running better drills."  The girls all stared at him.  "It won't hurt you ladies either."

"We do homework and laundry on sundays," one pouted.

"So?  You still have sword practice."  They pouted but nodded and went back to breakfast.  It was Saturday so it was fine.   "What about apartments, Jackson?"

"We can move some of the new ones into married quarters until the new building is built."

"Boss, if I'm doing it on my own, it's going to take a while," Xander joked.

Jackson looked at him.  "I'd never expect you to do it on your own, Xander.  It'd take way too long."  Xander grinned back.  "You can help if you want but you still only get the one paycheck."

Wesley coughed.  "No, he should be receiving two."

"Giles is still fussy," John reminded him.

"We'll see about that," Tony said dryly.  "Hey, Dawn?"  She blinked at him.  "Teacher time?"

"Yeah, she wants to go visit and thinks I can do without her for a while.  We're going to sneeze her out of me later."

"That's fine.  Need help?"

"I was going to have Flack help me since he broke into his latent gift."  Don blushed.  "But you can if you want.  Or were you going to ask me to send Digger to horn Giles up the backside?"

"I was thinking about asking," Tony admitted.

She smirked.  "I'm mean and evil today.  I told Willow."  The girls all cackled.  The oldest girl walked in sniffling.  "Oh, hey, what's wrong?"

"I fear we have to move."

Xander looked at her.  "Even if they left, you don't have to and there's still the sisterhood of slayers with you.  Plus there's college."  She gaped.  "If Giles doesn't agree, I'm not signing over all the new probate stuff."  He smirked.  "Got it?"  She gave him a hug.  "Good girl.  Are they?"

"I felt weak and I can barely bend a spoon."

"We can do the bloodwork test and see," Wesley assured her.  "Though I am rather glad.  You have those children to look out for."  She blushed but nodded.  "Good girl.  We'll do so after breakfast.  Eat, dear."  She settled in to eat, still eating a lot but not as much as normal.  He and Xander shared a smile.  This was excellent news.  "I'll talk with Rupert later, Xander."   He smirked.  "That way he doesn't ask you irritating questions."

"I'm almost used to them from him. Though, Dawn, when you've sneezed her out think you can send me to see someone for a few minutes?"

"Sure.  Why?"

"Because we still have the egg."

She nodded.  "I can do that if I can get him from there."

"Cool."  He finished up, looking around.  "Where are Chase and House?"

"Chase is sleeping on the floor of the infirmary the last I knew," Danny Messer told him.  "Don't know why.  House was asleep in the office."

"The hospitals were running them ragged asking questions," Xander told him. "I would've thought that's done with."

"Apparently not," Gibbs said.  He didn't like the senior doctor or his pill habit but it was said he was a good doctor.  Chase was nicer and still a little shit but he was okay he guessed.  "Just the two?"

"We usually don't need more," Jackson told him.  "If we do, it's Xander's fault."  Xander cackled.  "The last time we did it was."

"Well, yeah," Xander agreed.  "I talked to Cordette.  She got to learn how to hunt and gut things.  One of the agents Don works with is going to help her.  He's a tracker and does fugitive recovery.  So we're looking good on her end too."

"Excellent," Wesley said happily.  "I look forward to doing her next progress evaluation."  Xander smirked at him.  "I should get to know her strengths."

"She'll be nine in another few weeks," Tony called over.

"She's still growing into them and I realize that.  It would be nice if she did learn how to track.  Barely any of the girls can."

"I tried," John and Dean said in unison.

"Many times," Sam agreed, stuffing his mouth before he could say something about whiny girls in the woods.

Xander smirked.  "I haven't."  The girls all gave him uneasy looks.  "We'll work on it today, girls."  They all groaned.  "I'll do the wall tomorrow, Daniel."  He smirked at them.  "Finish eating and get me a van, John?"  He nodded.  "I had to teach Willow how to be quiet in the woods, I can do them too."

"How did you do that?" Sam asked.  "Dad would pop out mysteriously and get us with a shot of ice cold water."

"Paintball."  The three Winchesters snickered at that.  "We won't have any problems.  By the time I'm done with them they'll be able to be dropped and find their way back to civilization."  All the girls whimpered at that.

"Don't be too mean their first time," John said.

Xander just smirked.  He let out a quiet cackle and then looked at them.  "Finish up.  Get changed."  They groaned but Xander's word was law, even above Wesley's about training things.  They went to put on heavy outdoor clothes because they were going to be out there all day.  Xander got them the van and drove them off.  Each vanload took about thirty minutes.  On the way he muttered sleep spells and left them with a note, a map, and a compass.  Then he went back to get the other ones and place them a mile apart.  Fortunately they were surrounded by woods.  After the last drop he drove to the point he marked on the map and waited in the nice, warm van.   He could hear the girls complaining already.  They needed a good lesson in teamwork too according to Dean.

***

Six hours later all but one of the girls had been found.  Annabelle had lost her temper and had gone stomping off.  Xander looked around then whistled.  "Annabelle!" he shouted.  Then he let Binky go find her.  Binky found her walking and led her back.  "Good job, Binky."  He petted her.  He swatted Annabelle.  "Teamwork, Anna, even when they are being goobers and need paddled."

"I was watching."

"Yay."  He pointed.  "Into the van."  She and Binky got into the back row and he drove them back to base.  He even let Binky come in to eat dinner with them since she wasn't letting the unicorn go.  "She was watching."

"Who was first?" John asked.

"Brenda and Meredith got to me first but they were alone and I did expect some teamwork, girls.  That's why I left the compass and map."  They all hung their heads.  "John, it took them an hour to get their bearings and find me.  They both said they found the road and followed it to where I was waiting."

"That's not a bad time," he decided.  "Those who managed to make it under two, we'll work on for a bit then consider them passing as long as they can do the basics.  The rest of you, practice.  A lot.  Some of you can get lost in the mall."  Gibbs snickered. "They can.  For hours on end."

"In a lingerie shop," Dean added.  Sam choked but nodded.  "Yes, she was trying to impress you."  That slayer blushed and slunk down just a bit.  "Are we training the future watchers with the girls?"

"I'd like to keep the big sister thing going with that," Xander told him.  "One older, one younger, one who's underage.  That way they all get support and it'll be good."

John nodded.  "I can see that point.  Wesley?"

"That would work for me.  Of course, we might have to call some back from Cleveland or send someone."

"Let's work on it with the ones here since we've got one trainee and four spare research watchers once they get the library decoded."  That got a nod.  "So, let's see.  Brenda, you're like a female Winchester.  You're staying with them for the extra training with John.  Halley, you, Ramona, and Annabelle are all Gibbs' girls."  They nodded.  "Work with him, gently, Annabelle, and we'll see if that works out.  If you don't, we'll let him have Becky or Sian."

"Sure," she agreed, feeding Binky some of her dinner.  Sam swatted her.  "She's hungry too."  The cook came out to give Binky her own plate of greens, getting a neigh of happiness and a nuzzle before she dug in.  "Thank you, Cook," Anna said happily, digging into her own dinner.  She was starved.  She had missed lunch.  She had to sneak over to steal food from the agents before they were done.  Cook walked her back to her seat and gave her more food, earning a hug.  "Thank you!"  She dug in, eating as much as her huge stomach could hold.  Then she belched.  "'Scuse me.  Sorry."  She added more food now that the air was out.

John stared at her.  "You've eaten more than three of the other girls combined," he said when she reached for more, stopping her hand.  "Do you really need it?"

"I'm hungry," she pouted.

"You're being checked for worms later."

"I missed lunch," she said with a sniffle.

"I don't care.  You're being checked for worms.  Wait twenty and then you can have some more."  She pouted but petted Binky instead.  "Also, pets don't belong in the caf.  Binky is intelligent but still a pet."

"Yes, John.  I won't make her come eat with us again."  Her friend nuzzled her and she played with her.  Fifteen minutes later she dug into the new food on the table.  She cleaned all the leftovers herself.  Xander walked her down to the infirmary.  She belched.  "Sorry, 'scuse me."

"It happens to the best of us and in some cultures it's considered a compliment to the chef," House said dryly.  "What's wrong?"

"She put away six times what she usually does tonight."

"John wanted me checked for worms."

"We'll see," House said, pointing at a stool.  "Sit there."  She went to do that.  For some reason that stool always made the girls have to go to the bathroom.  When she needed to he handed her a cup.  "Into that."

"Pee?"

"No."

"Eww."

"Tough."  She pouted but went to do it.  Xander was snickering and petting the egg in the sterilizer.  "It's fine."

"It's being gifted to the future mommy later on."  He looked at him.  "How is she really?  Dawn I mean."

"She's fine.  Her exhaustion is cured and she's back to normal.  She hoovered down lunch too."

"If Anna has worms, check her too."  He took out the egg, wrapping it in his shirt so it was against his stomach.  "Let me deliver this."  He walked off and Dawn spotted him.  "Let me get the bag from my apartment."  She nodded, letting him do that.  She could send him from in there and watch his tv.  Xander walked out of the portal, seeing all the horrified looks.  "What?"  He handed over the bag.  "You said you were missing it."  He pulled out the egg.   McKay backed away.  "Quit."  He handed it to Sheppard.  "It needs at least body heat to keep warm."  He tucked it down his shirt.  "Give it two years and it'll eat wraiths."

"What?" Sheppard demanded.

Xander grinned.  "McKay didn't tell you that some herbivore dragons eat wraiths?"  He smirked.  "It tried to eat where one had touched him on the arm.  We did an x-ray; it's that sort of dragon.  It's an herbivore, it'll eat any sort of tree as far as we know.  It'll grow up in about two years and it'll eat wraith.  It's also very protective of who it owns.  Worse than a cat from what we found out.  We figured you guys could use that ability more than us because if they make it into my solar system the girls and I are going after it and blowing them to hell and back.  So keep it warm.  At least body temperature."  He smiled and tried to go back through the portal but Sheppard stopped him.

"You do realize this is a highly classified site?"

"Yeah, but I already knew and the place where I'm thought of as a god is around here somewhere.  Abby said so when I was nibbling on some leftover jerky.  It turned out to be that meat beast McKay was complaining about.  Besides, the chaos demons love you more than me.  Who better to raise the pet the slayers can't have?"  He beamed and walked through the portal, letting it close behind him.  "They'll take good care of it."

"I'm sure they'll take good care of Eggy."  She gave him a hug.  "Why do you have porn?"

"Because I'm a guy and not dating."

"Good point."  She shrugged and left him alone to watch it in peace.  They had answered most of her questions.  "Xander's watching porn," she told Faith.

"If I tapped that ass, I'd go bad again," she sighed, shaking her head.  "Pity."  She went back to her reading.  "Good porn?"

"Gangbang porn."

"Why were you watching gangbang porn?" Sam asked loudly, glaring at her.

"I was browsing Xander's DVD player while I waited on him to hand over Eggy.  Not like I wanted to be in the center, but it looked like fun."  She smirked.  "Fortunately I'm not a bad girl.  I'll never do that."  She skipped off to do her homework.  Xander would need help with that wall tomorrow and he had been teaching her construction stuff too.

Faith reached over to pet Sam on the arm.  "It's all right.  X needs laid and he's not getting it here.  He needs to go back to wherever that temple is."  He walked off blushing, shaking his head and moaning about that suggestion.

John came in a minute later.  "We're doing an inspection," he called.  "Porn is not on the allowed list, ladies."

"It was Dawn watching X's," Faith defended.  He glared at her.  "Hey, I'm old enough.  Thank you."

"I don't care.  We don't need to hear it and the younger girls don't need to get into it because they're curious.  They can go torment Chase and House, like you did."

"No, when I was curious, I tried it."

"They can't."  He went to do a room check.  He found Brenda had a magazine and was horrified.  "Brenda!"

"Dean gave it to me," she said, sniffling and looking pitiful.  "He said I needed to know what one looked like."

He walked off moaning, going to beat his eldest son.  "Brenda does not need to know that, Dean."  He pulled him over to spank him.  "I told you not to do that when you tried it with Sammy!  Porn is not acceptable!"

"You'd rather she date some scuzzy guy!" he asked, getting free, rubbing his ass.  "That's mean, Dad.  She's old enough!"  He ran away before he got grabbed again.

"Dad found out that you gave Brenda the spank magazine?" Sam asked when Dean went running past him.

"Yup."

"Better her than you giving it to me, Dean."  John growled.  "He asked but I didn't need it."  He shrugged and went to watch naked women with Xander.  He had good naked women things.  They could even geek out and watch animated naked women things.

John snarled and went to clean out the rest of the porn stash.  Except for the lesbian couple.  They probably needed theirs because he didn't understand girls who didn't like boys or understand what they did and didn't need so he'd let them slide until it got too bad or too dirty.  Besides, they were having fun and he wasn't going to break into that.  Not something he wanted or needed to see.

***

Daniel looked at his new teams.  Then around the room.  "This is going to be interesting. Breakfast is in twenty minutes.  Most of the guys get there in about thirty."  They nodded, heading that way.  Daniel smirked.  It was going to make a lot of people happy.  His desk phone rang so he trotted in to get it.  "Daniel Jackson."  He listened to Jack rant.  "I agreed, Jack.  Eggy was best suited to being up there.  He eats and likes wraiths if the ones we found of his species were any indication.  It'll be good for them and hopefully adopt McKay and Sheppard as its humans so they can be better protected.  Those two get into worse stuff than we did."  He listened to the continued complaint.  "How else did you expect Xander to get up there?  Though Abby did say that wherever his temple was as a god of lust was somewhere in that galaxy.  The food samples matched on some key indicators."  He saw the fax that had come through last night and smirked at the threat. "Gotta go, Jack.  Someone faxed a threat to everyone here."  He hung up and looked it over.  It had a signature, he was pleased.  He found his new video conferencing software up and working.  "Thank you, McGee," he called loudly.  He dialed his boss and held up the threat.  "You want her or can we put her into the demon part of the prison?"

He spluttered then read it.  "Send that to me please.  I'll deal with her."

"Good.  Because Gibbs is now a watcher."  He hung up and faxed it to the new head of Homeland security.  He was not going to have a happy Sunday.  Oh well!  He went to watch the interesting events at breakfast.  "Gibbs, McGee, Tony, your former director is cranked to use a Faith-ism.  She faxed a threat she signed."  They burst out laughing.  "Exactly.  I sent it to the head of Homeland.  Sorry but oh well."

"We'll do a bomb search later," Horatio assured him.

"She's back in a mental hospital.  She had a problem believing demons were real," Daniel said with a smirk.  "Like those cults."  He went to take his usual spot.  "We need more tables in here."  That got a nod.  "Well, the girls won't be up for hours yet."  He sat down to read the paper and eat his breakfast.  Ryan came in looking over his email on his blackberry device and sat down.

"Put that down and eat," Alexx ordered, taking it from him.  He gaped, just blinking at her.  "Since you wouldn't stay, we had to follow.  Now, eat.  You're too skinny and you need a haircut."

"Yes, Alexx," he said weakly.  "Does Speed know?"

"Not yet," Horatio said, making him jump.  "Don't tell him either."

"Um, yeah."  He dug in because Alexx was going to swat him.  Don Flack walked in rubbing his eyes and looking sleep tousled.  "Bad case?"

"Xander's noisy," he complained.  He sat down and had coffee poured for him.  He frowned at the person doing it.  "Damn it, I'm sleepwalking again."

Stella pinched him on the cheek, smirking at him.  "I'm good enough to be a dream, Don, but you should be dreaming about blond CSI, not me."

Mac coughed.  "We don't know how they feel about inter-agency dating, Stella," he warned.

"I don't care," Daniel called.  "It's all good as long as it's not a kid and it's not a case."  He turned the page on his paper.  Xander stumbled in.  "Xander, you got me yelled at by Jack."

"I'll write him later," he mumbled, sitting down and nearly falling asleep on his plate.

"If I had to stay up because you were noisy, you can be awake," Don called.

Xander frowned at him.  "Was not noisy!  I went to bed at ten!" he whined.  "After porn."

"Uh-huh.  Your apartment was noisy."  Sam strolled in with Dean behind him.  "Why was he so noisy last night?"

"Six of the girls snuck in to watch his porn.  Xander's got the flu so he slept through it but Dean went to beat the giggling girls around two for keeping us up.  Especially the two who kept fantasizing about you and Danny together."  He felt Xander's forehead and got swatted.  "Stop it."

"Meany.  Not sick."

"Bullshit."  He hauled him up.  "Taking him down to the infirmary."  He walked him down there, handing him to House.

"What do you want me to do with him?  He's not my type and while I could use a good pro Xander doesn't charge."

"He's so got the flu he slept through six of the girls breaking into his place to watch his porn and giggle loud enough to keep us and Don Flack up."

"That's sick," House decided.  "You need porn?"

Xander blinked at him.  "Not getting any.  I'm fine."

"Shut up."  He put him onto a bed.  Xander opened his mouth.  "Try it again and I'm putting in the huge IV."  Xander whimpered, curling up in a ball.  "Uh-huh."  He started the IV and let the nurse handle it.  "Flu."  He went up to breakfast.  He found Messer whimpering in the door and shoved him.  "Some of the rest of us need to eat too."  Danny turned and fled.  "Girls, get Messer.  He has to eat."  They went to find him and drag him back.  "Was it at least good porn they broke in to watch?" he asked Dean.  Sam was too innocent to watch the good stuff.

"Not really.  Cheesy.  Some gay, some not.  They all decided Danny and Don were cute together.  That's why I went to beat asses at two."

"Good."  He went to his usual seat and found it filled with an African-American woman.  "New staff?"

She smirked.  "Doctor Alexx Woods, ME.  You must be Doctor House."  She held up a hand.  "Move down, sugar, so we can talk."

Chase looked at her.  "I'm his student."  She gave him a look and he smirked.  House poked him.   "Fine, I'll eat with the girls.  Foreman and Cameron are coming next week with Wilson."  He sat down at their table and got soothed by the older girls petting his back for him.  "If I asked would you hit on Foreman to freak him out?"  They all gave him evil smirks.  "Thank you."  He dug in and Anna tried to lift his toast so he smacked her hand.  "Quit."

"I'm growing."

"I can tell.  You can make your own toast."  She went to make more toast for everyone.  John smirked at him for that move.  "No worms but I figure it's a growth spurt."

"They happen to all kids.  Dean about closed down a buffet once."

"Hey!" Dean complained.  "Sammy got us kicked out the steak buffet place."

"He did," he agreed.  "Three hours after we sat down."

"I remember those days unfondly.  I tripped over thin air."  Annabelle gave him a hug.  "We'll help you through yours."

"Yes, Doctor Chase."  She smirked at the older girl.  "I got a cuddle."

"You're going to be spanked," Faith told her.  She sat down and dug in again.  "Sorry. She's having an evil week."

"Did you crush on Xander too?" Dawn asked the younger slayer.

She blinked at her.  "He's not the sort of man I want to marry someday.  I'd like someone smart who would read with me and give good backrubs."  Chase moaned, shaking his head.  "You're much too old for me.  So if you find a young prodigy doctor...."

"I'll introduce you," he promised.  "Eat.  You're going silly."

"It was being out in the woods all day yesterday.  That's why I was starving too."

"You were hungry.  Starving is a medical condition," John said firmly.  "It's when you don't get any food for a long period of time, like months."

"Sorry.  I'll make sure to state the difference," she sighed.  "Why are you in a bad mood?"

"Because you girls did bad things last night."

"Not me," she defended.  "I didn't break into anyone's apartment to steal panties or anything like that."  John stared at her.  So did the other girls.  "What?  You did."  She smirked.  "Next time, don't make me do all the sweeping when it's not my turn."

"They'll be doing some today," John promised.  "And PT."  They groaned.  "Sons, room inspection.  It's probably mostly yours anyway."

"Let me finish first," Dean said.  Sam nodded since his mouth was full.  They headed out once they were done, taking their coffees with them.  Doing room inspection was very surreal but he found a few of his missing pairs of boxer-briefs.  Sam's too.  He tossed him at his head.

"I washed those yesterday."

"They snuck in last night, genius.  Are you sick too?  Kissed flu boy maybe?"

"I wasn't kissing him, Dean."

"Ah.  So got it from sucking on him then."

"No!  Unlike you, who buy boy on boy spank magazines, I'm straight."

"And we bless God every day for that fact," Faith said, taking Dean's boxers back. "Comfy to sleep in, thanks, D."

"Give those back," he said, taking them to ball up and put into his front pocket.  She pushed him against the wall to grope him and get them back.  "Hey!  Buy your own."

She smirked.  "Why?  Yours are broken in better."  She strolled off to Sammy's giggling.  "Thanks for the grope, needed the thrill."

Dean stared after her.  "Not like it was good enough for you to claim clothing rights, Faith.  Only girls who make me scream and squeal earn clothing stealing rights."

She came back to stare him down.  "Sure.  Your place later?"  She'd have to hurt him if he was teasing her.  She hadn't had any in months.

"We'll see if you can keep up."  He took them back.  "Then maybe you can borrow them."  She sashayed off.

"I'll be hiding," Sam said.  He walked into the lesbian couple's room and sighed.  "Dean?"  He came in.  Then he groaned and they cleaned it up on them.  Dean went to talk to the girls and John about what gay girls needed and didn't need.  Half of that probably belonged to the other girls anyway.  Why would two lesbians need multiple issues of BUTTSEX MONTHLY?  Though John had Dawn take them from Dean later on while he was busy with Faith so they could burn them with the rest of the porn.

***

Speed wandered in late, yawning and scratching his stomach under his t-shirt.  It was Sunday, he could sleep in.  He sat down and blinked at the food that got put onto his plate.  Then the coffee was poured and a different hand added milk.  He frowned at the people sitting around him.  "Am I still in Miami or did Dawn goof and move us?"

"No, we were waiting on your lazy behind," Alexx assured him.

"It's Sunday, I can sleep in," he complained.  He frowned.  "Visiting already?"

She pinched his cheek. "Don't you wish."

"Did I get hit on the head and you're hallucinations?"

"No."

"Then it's not a wish."

"We're here to work," Horatio told him.

Speed nodded once then sipped his coffee.  "Watch out for the girls.  They giggle, pounce, and steal underwear."  He took another drink.  He wanted to be more awake to see how interesting this would get.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Aliens Too Now?

Sam Winchester looked around then shook his head slowly.  Something was going on.  Everyone was out on cases but Xander's team.  That's mostly because Xander's team was half-dead from their last case.  Except Xander, who was ignoring the fact he had hurt his back, again, and was having stress issues.  That's why he was watching the gate.  The watchers were running Gibbs through their usual paces.  Gibbs was amused and pretty soon he'd turn things around and make the watchers beg for mercy with Marine tactics.  John had, Dean had, Gibbs would too.  That's why he was outside when the gate guards called in an odd code.  He had no idea why they were calling in a 'not sure if it's an emergency' code but okay.  He jogged that way, finding three big, hairy, demonic looking motorcyclists.  "Huh."  He slowed down.  "Hi, guys."  Xander jogged up to stop beside him.  "What's going on?  Can we help?"

One took off his helmet.  "We'd like to talk to your director about a sensitive subject," he said.

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "Come across the gateway please?"  They slowly rolled across one at a time and the wards they put up didn't react.  "Looks like you're not going to hurt us so I can tell you Danny's off base for about two hours.  Can it wait that long or is it an immediate need I need to page him for?"

"We can probably wait but we heard he's the person to go to about things like this problem," the one without the helmet said.

"Is this a problem that...Jack might also help with?" Xander asked.  "Because I'm flashing back to an early nineties cartoon with three bikers who looked a lot like you three."

"Possibly," he admitted with a smirk.  "The guy who did the cartoon was a cousin of Charley Girl's."

"Good to know.  Is this a case like a harassment or like there's a problem Danny and Jack need to talk about?"

"Most people leave us alone.  Normal humans ignore strange things."

Xander nodded.  "Yes they do.  I'm from Sunnydale originally.  They ignore it a lot."  He grinned.  "Welcome to the DCIS base.  Let me tell Danny he can't lag and get another latte on his way back.  Want to park in visitor parking and come into the main building?  It's a bit chilly out here today."

"Sure," he said.  "It's safe, guys."  They took off their helmets.  "This is a nice base," Throttle praised.

Xander grinned.  "Thanks, man.  We do try.  Oh, the shrub?  Its name is George and he does have poison spikes.  Don't block his sun."  They nodded and followed him inside.  "Hey, Sam, where are Binky and Digger?"

"Out back by their barn.  They were kicking up snow."  He waved.  "C'mon, guys.  It's warmer and we have some hotdogs somewhere.  If the girls haven't eaten them."  They shrugged and followed.  He led them to the kitchen.

"Caf-pows have caffeine if you're sensitive," Xander warned when Vinnie went to it.  "They're high octane."

Vinnie nodded.  "I'm good with that.  Took me eight months to get used to caffeine but now I live on it."

"Cool.  Just a warning."  He called Danny's phone.  "Hey, me.  We have visitors who need to speak to *you* about you and Jack stuff.  Three.  Here.  Dining room.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "It'll be about forty more minutes.  The place nearly has the order ready.  Unfortunately the local grocery store has a new manager and he goofed on the food order.  Since the girls eat like herds of animals...."  They nodded.  "Want a tour or to stay in here?"

"We can tour," Throttle said.  "If you want."

"It's not classified and none of the girls are here to try to pet you.  I won't introduce you to Abby because she will pet you and squeal at you."  They all smiled and went with him.  "This is our gym.  Practice, PT, self defense lessons with the slayers, all that.  Down the hall's the armory.  There's another empty room past there too.  We're still filling up the space."  He took them up to the squad floor.  "This is our desk and case area.  Most everyone's off right now but my team.  We kinda...limped in after the last case turned into a cross-family attack."

He grimaced.  "Most of my guys are off in their apartments."  He pointed out a window.  "Those are the housing areas.  We're converting a building but that's boring and pretty much gutted.  That building is the slayer's dorms.  Out to the back is the pet's barn.  There's two baby unicorns that came over right before breach screwed things up.  They're the slayer's pets.  Binky and Digger."  He grinned.  "They're pretty nice and only one can be petted if you're not virginal but they're cool pets.  We try really hard not to baby them too much.  They tried to live inside a few times."  He heard a voice and looked back at the person thumping into the room.  "Hey, Doctor House."

House stopped and stared.  "Wasn't there a cartoon with them?"

Vinnie smirked and nodded.  "Sweetheart's cousin did it."

"Ah."  He nodded once.  "Xander, physical?"

"Can't I wait?  I'm doing the tour."

"Physical," he ordered.  "Now.  I'm bored and you're a good cure to boredom."

"Want me to hula dance?" he asked dryly.

"You might turn me into one of your lust parade since I'm such a badass," House snarked back.  "Physical."

"Wouldn't seeing him naked be just as bad?" Throttle asked dryly.

"Not really.  I've seen him wench around."

"Not all the wenches were girls, House," Xander said dryly.

House stared then smirked.  "Good to know.  We can check you there too.  Chase needs to be embarrassed today.  March!"

"Fine.  Give me ten?  Danny's coming."

"March."  He limped over and grabbed him by the hair to pull off.  "Keep it up and I'm going to confine your butt to base because you aren't dumping post case stress.  It showed how you jumped in front of the danger when the guys had the right weapons out and you didn't.  Guys, go look at the cuteness that's the pets.  Jackson will be home soon."   He walked Xander off, still having a good hand in his hair.  "Listen to the doctor's orders, Xander.  We know more than you do."  He shoved him onto the elevator and got on after him.  "Keep it up and I'm putting the cane up your ass next time."  He pushed the right button and they headed down.  "Do I have to treat you like my bitch again?"

"No, Doctor House," he said sullenly.  "I'll be a good boy."

"Good."  He let the boy walk out first and kicked him on the butt.  "You have to take better care of yourself and dump that post battle stress better, Harris.  Before the girls lose you too."  He walked after him shaking his head.  "Anything we should check rectally?"

"I haven't been torn."

"Good!"  He walked him into the infirmary and back to the cubicle, handing him the gown.  "Strip."

"Yes, sir."

"Good."   He went to take his medicine then came back to do the exam.

Throttle looked at the guys.  "Let's go look at the cuteness.  It won't hurt us studly, macho guys to look."

"Fine," Vinnie said, following him out and down there.  They ran into Sam going that way.  "Going to admire the cuteness?"

"I thought I saw one of the girls sneak past."  He gave him a look.  "If so, I'm going to yell."  They all smirked.  "It happens.  We know it happens.  Depending on which girl it is it happened earlier this week too."  They got within sight of the barn and Sam took off running.  "Get someone!" he shouted.

"Vinnie, get a guard," Throttle yelled, heading after him.  Modo spotted something and turned to fire at a spot without anything there.

Sam fell to his knees beside the small body.  "Anna?" he called.  "Anna, come on, answer me."

"Bad guy," she whispered, pointing at the spot.  "Bad, hurting Binky."

"You did good to protect Binky," he promised.  He saw a guard and looked up.  "Get House or Chase, now!" he shouted. "Something got Annabelle!"  The guard radioed and came over to help.  "We need a board."

The guard called in.  "We need a board, she's got at least a broken leg and is looking pretty weak."  He looked at the spot.  "What's there?"

"Something we know," he said, reaching down and plucking off the small, purple orb.   The alien reappeared.  "Venusian."  He leaned down.  "You want to tell me anything since you just hurt a child?" he demanded coldly.

"Hired," he whimpered.  He said something in his own language.

Modo stood up and sneered.  "Doesn't help you any."  He popped up his arm cannon.  "I can fix it so you can't do it again."

"We have a jail," Sam ordered.  "We want them first anyway."  Chase came out with the back board and another guard.  "That thing hurt her."

"We can deal with it," Chase assured him.  They carefully loaded her and carried her off.  He spared a glance at the creature then looked at the furry one helping.  "Any poisons or toxins we should hear about?"

"No, they're bullies, not dangerous that way."  He paused when he saw someone else running, getting out of the way.  That one took his spot and he jogged back to find Sam standing over the moaning alien.  "You feel better?"

"Not yet.  I can fix that though.  Dad, head to the infirmary too!" he bellowed.  "We need to know how to unmask them.  And what he said."

"We can translate," Modo promised.  He hauled the Venusian up and handed him over.  "I'm not sure how you'd tell any others."

"Frequency generator," Abby said, coming out to get the small orb.  She looked at it.  "Is it wave based, light based, or magic based?"

"Light," Throttle said.  "Other than that, I have no clue."

"I can find out.  This way, guys."  She led them back to the interrogation center, letting them into a room.  "Let me get one of the agents to take a formal statement of how he just screwed himself because we all *love* Annabelle.  He's lucky the unicorn didn't get him."

"She said she was protecting one, ma'am," Throttle said.

"That's usually her thing," she agreed, heading to call someone.  "Paul, need you in interrogation.  Get Xander if you can.  Something hurt Anna and it's been captured."  She hung up and went up to the lab.  She'd wonder about three giant, furry mice demons later.  When she had time to pet them.  She ran the orb through a sensor they had gotten from Sam and Area 51, smiling at the frequency it put out.  She got into the code bracelets she and McKay had come up with, programming it.  Then she texted Dawn to tell her about the update.  Then she texted Don Epps to let him know too, just in case that thing was going after very young slayers.

***

Dawn looked at her bracelet when it beeped.  "That means something updated," she said, staring at it.  She looked up at the teacher.  "I need to find a few of the older girls," she mouthed when the teacher gave her an odd look.  The teacher shook her head.  "There's an issue."  Her bracelet went off and she ran out of the room, heading for the office.  They had a trunk of weapons in the office.  Something tackled her and she rolled then came up to face...nothing.  "Huh."  Something gave her a shove so she kicked back at it, making something grunt.  The principal came running.  "My alarm bracelet went off," she called. "It's shielded.  Lock it down, let the slayers out."  He nodded, going to pass that order and get the trunk out for her.  She dodged a hit she felt coming and then muttered, closing all the light off.  "Ah, there you are."  She attacked, feeling someone familiar coming up behind her.

"It's shielded.  The glowing spot must bend light."  It was grabbed by one of the slayers and the thing came visible again.  She let the light spell go and they kicked its ass.  They did it very well as they were trained to.  The girls went after the others, who were in gym.  Dawn looked at the body then snorted.  "Pity you tried that."  She got the handcuffs the principal was holding and cuffed it, then called the base.  "I have a green, slimy thing here that tried to attack me?"  It tried to move and she kicked it.  She paused.  "Anna okay?"  She nodded.  "Good idea.  We've got it here at the school.  Send us people."  She hung up.  "Watch him, he moves, put wood in his feet.  It won't hurt him as far as we know, just make it really hard for him to run."  She ran toward the gym, finding the thing going after Brenda so she pounced and knocked it down onto the floor then banged its head onto the floor before taking the shiny orb.  "They're not demons, but one attacked Anna and hurt her pretty badly."

Brenda kicked the demon.  "Bastards.  You're going to pay for that."

"Yes it is.  Xander's on base.  Gibbs saw.  He's heading for interrogation according to the guard.  Ladies, our bracelets can detect the orb thingy hiding them.  As far as we know, no known weakness.  They're not demons.  That's why you can't feel them."  They nodded.  "Call the younger set.  Now."  Brenda went to do that - coming from her was like coming from John.  She pushed her hair back.  "I need a shower."  She got up and let the girls bind this one too.  "Let's carry him out."  They grunted but they did lift and carry.  This sucker was heavy.  She followed, wincing when her bracelet went off right before something plowed into her side.  "What?  Am I tasty to your kind?" she demanded.  She kicked it off and snatched the orb, letting the slayers handle it from behind since they were there.  One of them staked it and it was bleeding so good on them.  Even if it didn't kill it.  She panted, leaning down.  "I agree with Sam.  Bruised ribs suck."

Brenda helped her up.  "Anna snuck out of class."

"She's bored."

"I know.  You know.  Everybody but her teacher knows."   They came out to the entry.  "Can one of us have a talk with her teacher?"

The principal looked at them.  "One of ours?"

"Elementary," Dawn said.  "Anna's teacher doesn't get that she's bored stupid and that's why she keeps falling asleep, cutting class, doodling, all that stuff she complains about."

"The teacher could have a point."

"The teacher could also realize that Anna does her best work wondering 'what if' and 'why' and she's been with Abby in the lab a lot lately," Dawn shot back, giving him a look.  "She's bored."

"I'll talk with her."

"Thanks.  Keeps Xander out of her face."

"She did want to avoid that fate."  Two of the base's guards came in.  "Any precautions we should take?"

"Not that we know of, sir.  Just mop up any blood.  You girls okay?"

"Dawn has bruised ribs," Brenda said, giving her a shove, getting a wince back.

"I also have a test this period and next," Dawn quipped.  "So, they'll wait."  She started to walk off but the guards carried her out to the jeep and put her into it while the slayers carried out the heavy creatures. "Fine, I'll get an excuse from House."  She got comfortable and sighed.  "I hate bruised ribs."  The creature behind her tried to move so she growled and looked back at him.  "Try it, sparky."  She held him down with a touch of magic and he screamed and hollered like she was torturing him.  "Huh.  Don't like magic."  She sneered.  "I'm a witch and you're in deep shit."  They shrank down as the guards got in.  "They don't like magic."

"Tough noogies.  You okay?"

"Bruised, not broken."

"Good."  He drove them off, running into Doctor Jackson and his brake job in town.  He had a few papers in his briefcase he had to get but he caught a ride back with them too.  The food was being shipped up since his brakes had been leaking in the parking lot of the supermarket.  They parked in front of the building and dragged the creatures out.

"Walk," Dawn ordered with a point.  They tried to move and she cast a simple light spell.  They ran.  She put up a barrier in front of them and they stopped, backing away from it.  She used it to herd them into the elevator and then to interrogation.  She walked in.  "They're afraid of magic," she told Paul.  Two of the ones from the school were crying.  "Any idea since they all seemed to want me?"

"Not yet.  The ones translating," he said with a  point.  "Keep saying they're saying bartender."

Dawn made the air clap like thunder and they all froze.  "I want to know why you attacked us, who sent you if someone did, and why they did it.  Am I clear?" she demanded in her best Xander voice.  "Or else I get to start questioning.  You'd better believe I'm less nice than Gibbs is.  I'm female."   They started to talk over each other and the mice shook their heads.  "No what?"

"You're an angry goddess and a bartender hired them to take out Slayers," Modo said.  "That they're wrong and drawing too much power to the light.  The dark had to balance it out."

"Ah.  That's good.  Do we know the bartender and which realm they came from?"

"Venus," Vinnie told her.

"Even better.  A bartender on Venus knows about slayers?"  She smirked at the beings, making them all cower.  "What's his name?"  They stuttered something.  "D'Holykand?"

"Higher level demon, over souls stolen, bought, given, or born wrong.  He's over all those that do the contracts," Xander said as he walked in.  They spotted him and ran to hide behind Gibbs.  "Aww, how sweet, you've heard of me."

"Xander, they are not stress relief," Daniel said firmly.  "Go work out if House lets you."

"No.  Not this week."  He looked at Dawn.  "You good?"

"Bruised ribs.  I'll live.  Anna?"

"Broken leg in two places, compound fracture of one arm.  Fracture on her left hipbone.  They're fucked if John gets 'em."

"Yup."  She raised a hand and they fell to their knees wailing.  "Danny?  Jail?"

"Definitely.  Then we'll figure the next part out with Jack since they're not demons."  They all nodded. Xander and Dawn got them moving.  One tried to break free but Xander hip tossed him and stomped on his chest while moaning and grabbing his back.  "You good?" Danny called.

"No," Xander said weakly. "But I'm fine."

"I've seen less stubborn Marines," Gibbs said, coming to help.

"Thank you.  I like that compliment."  Xander made himself straighten up and sneered at the alien, saying something in one of the demon tongues.  It wailed.  "Move, now," he snarled, his eyes starting to glow.

Dawn knocked him out.  "We need to find you a new stress outlet before that nasty possession comes back out, Xan."  She floated them off, making them scream, wail, and try to get down.  Not that she was going to let them but they tried really hard.  Gibbs followed.  He hadn't seen the jail yet.

Daniel called down to the infirmary.  "Xander's knocked out by Dawn because his hyena taint was coming back out.  Dawn has bruised ribs.  I want a status report on Anna as soon as you're done."  He hung up and looked at the aliens.  "My office, please.  It sounded important.  Thank you for helping with that matter."

"That one guy's really tough."

"Annabelle's a favorite and the third youngest slayer," Daniel said as they walked.  "She's basically the morale monitor.  Everyone loves Anna even when she drives you insane.  They picked on the wrong girl and Xander's had a run of stress."  That got a nod.  They walked into his office.  "Let me call Jack, get him moving this way to handle that then we'll talk?"  They nodded.  Daniel sat down and dialed.  "Jack, me.  I have three Martians in my office, based on the old cartoon, and five Venusians in lockup after they attacked slayers.  Yes, Jack, I'm sober and all that.  Bring someone."  He hung up.  "He's bored anyway.  What can we help you guys with?  Sit if you want.  Or pace if you don't."

"The cartoon got some things right," Throttle said.  "The war was won, the planet is trashed."  Daniel nodded at that.  "We did win against Limburger finally."

"Any others down here?"

"No, they're all gone from here but we decided to stay so we wouldn't tax our planet.  The problem is that we've heard rumors of a plague of some kind and we don't know why.  We can't get hold of anyone.  We had been sending what we could of food but it's been months since they could pick anything up."

"We can try to contact them.  Jack's people have a long distance communications method."  And a space ship or ten that they could borrow and one they own.  "Just a mission of mercy?"

"If we could get the blood to test, is there a way to do that?  We heard you guys have research into demon things.  It shouldn't be much different."

"We can do that," Danny said happily.  "Not an issue.  House is one of the best doctors there is and his speciality is finding what sort of strange disease you have.  Most of our scientists are forensics people with a few regular scientists thrown in.  We can definitely do that; it shouldn't take too long to see what the problem is and if we have a cure that'll work.  We'd need a good sample of blood probably.  Possibly a small tissue sample."

"We had one of the young guys crash trying to come down here," Throttle said, opening his jacket to pull out a small bottle.  "We buried him so if you have to we can get more."

"That should be plenty."  He called the lab.  "Abby, get here and bring House with you."  He hung up.  "It might be necessary to pull some for comparison.  If so, we would destroy any extra.  We're not going to use it to target people."

"That's what we heard," Modo promised.  Abby and House came in.

"These three's people are Martians."

"Saw the cartoon," House admitted.

"Our people are having some sort of plague.  We're not sure.  The rations are scarce at best so we have no idea how we'll get medicine up there but we'd like to figure out what it is and what we need."

"I'll need some blood for comparison and some to test medicines and cures on," House told them. They nodded and took off their jackets.  "Abby, get Chase to pull blood?"  She nodded, leading them off.  "The other things?"

"Venusians."

"Wonderful.  Why?"

"A demon pretending to be a bartender hired them to come kill slayers to rebalance against the darkness."

House gave him a look.  "Crackheads in space?"

"Possibly.  We know the demon or Xander did before his hyena came out."

"We've got him tied down.  We need to get him an assistant too."

"I thought that was Dean."

House smirked.  "I'll talk with Dean."  He went to do that.  "Dean!"  He jumped and came jogging over.  "Xander need an assistant.  That's your job."

"I thought I was."

"So did we.  His hyena just came back out on the things that hurt Anna."  Dean growled.  "Exactly.  We've got him tied down.  Deal with things."  He walked off.  He had some testing to do.  The microscope and testing equipment told him what it was.  "It's not a virus, it's a toxin."  The three mice stared.  "That means it's naturally occurring most likely.  A contaminant."  He frowned, going into more depth to analyze the toxin.  "It's biological.  Looks...herbal?"  He looked at them.  "What's the usual diet?"

"We have a grass we use like you guys use wheat," Vinnie said.  "We don't have any here."  He frowned, looking at Throttle then back at him.  "Lack of water causing it?"

"I'd have to have a sample."

"We might be able to pull one off his ship.  It's pretty banged up and some of it was on fire.  We haven't searched it," Throttle admitted.

"Do that."  A series of rings came down in the middle of the room then disappeared.  "Hi.  Welcome to my infirmary.  Do that again, watch me beat your ass," he warned.  "You could have hit someone."

"Sorry!" Jack defended.  "What's going on?"  House pointed.  He looked.  "Weren't you guys a cartoon?"  They nodded.  "Are you actually Martians?"  They smirked and nodded.  "What's going on?"

"Venusians in lock up for hunting slayers.  Their people are having a toxin plague," House summarized.  "They could use some meds, food, and water."

"We might be able to handle that," he decided.  "What do you need from us, Doc?"

"Biological samples to compare this against in the lab."

"The last one who crashed had a ship that was partially on fire but we never checked," Vinnie said.

"Where is it now?"

"Chicago.  Behind the garage."

"Good.  Call them.  We'll go pick it up."  They did that and he made the call to the orbiting ship.  "It's me.  Go to Chicago.  You're picking up the remains of a crashed ship from Mars.  Do not backtalk me," he warned when someone spluttered.  "They're having a plague.  Put on Caldwell."  He listened.  "Caldwell,  you heard?  They're standing here.  House said so.  So did Danny, and then we've got prisoners.  Thanks."  He hung up.  He heard the ship depart for Chicago and shook his head.

"Good help so hard to find, even in the military?" House taunted.

"Never let anyone tell you they don't question orders.  They do," Jack said dryly.  "Tell me what they can and can't have and what they need for medicine."

"We can do that."  Jack nodded, heading off to talk to Danny while House and Abby got to work on the toxin and what various medicines did to the blood.  They were keeping track, just in case.

***

Cordette's bracelet beeped.  "That's an update," she said quietly.  The teacher gave her a dirty look.  "They updated my alarm."  The change bell rang and she walked to her next class, which was gym.  On the way, it went off.  She hurried for the gym, it was more open and easier to fight in.  Plus had more hiding spots.  Halfway there, something tackled her and knocked her out.

She didn't get to see someone shoot it and destroy the orb then the creature.

"Huh.  Pity about that," Matt Sheppard said dryly.  He checked the girl over, waving off the worried guards.  "I'm one of the trainers from DCIS.  Her alarm was going off.  That thing attacked her," he told him.

"Sure, let's let the principal handle this," he decided.  He called and they got them moved.  Cordette got put onto a couch with a cool compress.  Don Epps was summoned.  They all stared at the remains.  Don stomped in.  "The first I knew was gunshots," the guard told him.

"Good to know.  Thank you.  I'll take over."  He nodded and left.  He looked at the people.  "Major."

"I was coming to train Cordette for a while in gym."

"That's fine.  You did good with the other girls."  That got a smile.  "What's that thing?"

"No clue.  It attacked her.  Her alarm was going off.  I saw her be tackled and aimed center mass.  It hit the thing hiding it then it."

"Good enough," he decided.  He called the base.  "It's Epps.  We have an unidentified thing here at Cordette's school after she was attacked."  He listened. "Sounds like it.  Why?"  He listened.  "Excuse me?"  The guard repeated it.  "Okay, and we do what with it?"  He nodded.  "That'll work.  No, she's taking a nap but she's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Not demonic," he said dryly.

Matt looked at it then at him.  "It looks like it is."

"It's not demonic.  The guards said so.  Everyone else is out, injured, or with Daniel."  A portal opened and Dawn walked through.  The corpse floated off and she left again.  "Dawn, a report please?"

She came back to whisper in his ear before giving Matt a hug.  "I did so good kicking butt earlier when they came for me.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.   What was it?"

"Venusian.  A demon went up as a bartender and hired them to rebalance the universe because there's too many slayers.  We know the demon and Xander's so pissed his hyena slipped back out.  I have bruised ribs and nice pain killers so I'm going to go take a nap.  If you run into more, wood doesn't hurt them but they're deathly afraid of magic."  She walked back through the portal and it closed.

Matt looked at Don.  "Want to bring her by for some training time this weekend?"

"Sure, we can do that.  We've been working on some tracking stuff with Agent Edgerton."

"I've heard of Ian.  Benny Ray says he's good.  Consider us local support if she needs it since we retired."  That got a nod and they shook hands.  "I'm going to have a beer."

"I'll bring her by later so I can have one."  Matt smiled and left.  Don sat down beside his little sister, patting her until she woke up.  "Want to go to the ER?"

"I'm too tough for the ER," she said in a near whine.

"No you're not.  You're not Xander.  I don't want you to be Xander.  Or Buffy.  If you're hurt, we're going to the ER."

"Daddy Alan will freak out and pout."

"He'll do it more because you were attacked by aliens."  She gave him an odd look.  "Dawn said so."

"Dawn needs the ER for drugs.  Or House needs to quit giving them to her."  She sat up.  "I'm okay."

"If the thing comes back, Dawn said there's a glowing spot on its chest.  It blocks it from sight.  Take that then knock it out."  She nodded.  "Call if you can first.  If not call directly afterwards."

"Yes, Don."  She gave him a hug.  "I'm okay."

"Uh-huh."  He checked her head.  "You have a lump.  C'mon."

"But...."

"Quit.  Now.  Before I call Dad to meet us."  She whimpered.  "I mean it.  Charlie too."  She quit.  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He picked her up.  "We're going to the ER.  They're probably going to be very sorry about that."

"Sure.  What if more come?"

"There's no other slayers here.  Unless they come after witches and then it'll come after the Ponsey girl."

"I can handle that.  Feel better soon, Cordette.  Don't forget a medical excuse."

"I won't."  He walked her out to his car, calling his boss.  "Something attacked Cordette in school.  I'm taking her to the ER.  Lump on the head.  Thanks, boss."  He hug up and got them in to drive up the street.  Fortunately it wasn't that far or the time of day for a lot of injuries.  The nurse smiled at them.  "She's a slayer.  Something attacked her and knocked her out for about twelve minutes."

"Head bump?"

"Looks like it."  He let her see.

"We'll work her in, sir."  He flashed his ID.  "Agent Epps then.  Go have a seat.  It'll only be a few minutes."  He went to cuddle her since she was complaining while she put that information back there.  Slayers in LA?  That young?  Why?

***

House came up before dinner, putting a paper down in front of Daniel then a bottle.  "That cures it.  It's in the grass.  It looks like a mold contamination that's been over- achieving due to the drought conditions.   The list is what various human drugs do to their blood."  He walked off.

"Viagra cures it?" Daniel yelled after him.

"Yup.  God bless the men who wanted to get harder."

"Good to know."  The three mice laughed and he looked the list over.  "Let me copy this for future reference."  He did that then handed Throttle the list and paged Jack.  He was out playing with Binky.  Or being played with by Binky, something like that.  Sam had made him when she showed up so he wasn't in her way.  He came jogging in.  "Don't like Binky?"

"I can see why McKay freaked out."  He looked at the bottle. "That's the cure?"

"Yes.  House said it's in the grass.  It's a contaminant that's been growing due to drought conditions."

"Then we can outfit them with MRE's easily enough.  Maybe other stuff.  I've been calling around and the President said he doesn't mind.  We've done it with other allies that need it."   He shrugged and looked at them.  "Wheat, MRE's, rice?"  They all nodded.  "Water too, I realize that.  Let me get the medicine ordered.  How many in the population?"  He looked at the label.  "One pill should work, give a second in twelve hours if not better within eight."  He nodded. "Easy enough to do.  How many?"

"Last count was nineteen hundred," Vinnie said quietly.  "That's why we're staying down here."

"Not a problem," Jack told them.  "As long as you don't become a PR nightmare, threaten people, cause a problem, any of that.  If something happens, they'd call Danny anyway."  He used the vidlink system to call the president's office.  "Sir."

"Jack," he said, sounding and looking smug.  "We have it?"

"We do, sir."  He held up the bottle to the camera so he could see it.  "From Doctor House."

"Good to know.  Anything else we need to send up?"

"Food, water."  Danny handed him the list.  "It looks like aspirin's safe and so is penicillin.  We might want to, just in case.  It looks like aspirin to them is an antibiotic and penicillin is a heart medicine, sir."

"We can do that.  How many in the population?"

"Last count was nineteen hundred."  The president hissed.  "They've been having issues."

"If they could find a place that would take them as a demon enclave, I wouldn't care," he decided.  "I'll get that to you from the Joint Chiefs.  Plus the viagra.  They're used to strange requests from your people.  Thank you, Jack, and you too, Doctor Jackson."

"Thank you, sir."  They hung up.  "How long?"

"Usually two days.  I think since it's a plague they'll hurry."  He called his direct boss. "General, Jack O'Neill."

"What is it this time?" he demanded.

"Allies having a plague and a food shortage due to it."  The general winced.  Jack nodded.  "Some strange medicine requests but we need the stuff ASAP.  Caldwell goes off tomorrow and he's agreed to pause there and hand it over if possible."  He saw the fax come over.  "That should be ours."

"Viagra?"

"It kills the toxin.  Doctor House here at DCIS confirmed it."

"Good to know.  Penicillin, Aspirin.  We can get all of them in mass quantities.  Only nineteen hundred left?"

"Yes, sir."

"I can have it by tonight if Caldwell can drop down to pick it up."

Jack radioed him.  "Caldwell, can you pick the stuff up going there tonight?"  He got back an affirmative and nodded.  "When, sir?"

"It's seventeen hundred your time, twenty hundred ours," he muttered.  "Give me three hours?"

"Can do, sir.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Caldwell, three hours, General McPhearson has it.  I can do that."  He hung up.  "Danny, he said he might need you to go as an ambassador or one of them.  We'd bring you back of course," he told the mice.  "If you wanted."

"They can't afford to feed what they have, much less us," Throttle said calmly.  "But I can go."

"Good.  Get ready to head in about two hours.  Caldwell can pick you up."  He stood up.  "Now, it's dinner time.  Don't let the girls pet you.  They squeal.  A lot.  The others?"

"I contacted someone up there and they're going to call you to set up a prisoner exchange," Vinnie said.  "They're very embarrassed."

"Me or him?" Jack asked.

"You.  We all heard of you two and you're doing the official work."

"That's fine.  I'm here but they'll forward stuff.  So we can do that."  He waved a hand.  "Food?"  They nodded and went with them.  He smirked at Daniel.  "McKay is still freaking out about Eggy adopting him when she hatched.  Claims she steals all his food."

"She's an herbivore.  How often does he eat vegetables?"

"Not very if he can help it."  They walked to together.  "Is Abby sending him anything?"

"She is and we're sending Eggy some nice leafy things plus a lot of seeds."

"Even better.  Sheppard threatened to turn her into shoes.  Beckett thinks she's the most precious thing ever, even if she does like to try to chew on his pants.  She ate one woman's hemp sandals."

"Did she like the wraith taint?"

"Quite a lot.  Treated it like you do jelly donuts.  McKay watched in horror.  Sheppard caught it on tape."  He smirked.

Danny smirked back.  "That's why they got Eggy."

"She does help.  She even found one nearly dead and hiding on their base.  Bit it until it died then ate the energy it gave off.   If we need more can we get them?"

"Dawn said she sealed it.  We shouldn't even have the occasional breach for centuries."

"Good!  I saw tape and it was freakish."

"Yes it was," Daniel agreed.  "How do you get rid of stress?"

"Right now?  I go outside the mountain, into the woods, and I go scream.  Who's holding it in?"

"Guess."

"Ah, him.  Screaming might help.  It might not help.  What happened this time?"

"He's still doing too much.  His team had the proper weapons but were slow in drawing on the last case so he jumped in to fight with the demon with the improper weapon.  Half the team was injured when they opened fire and didn't hit the right spot.  Xander hurt his back in the melee.  The usual.  Plus the Council stuff.  The last of the probates is next month.  He's got two in California of friends things.  So we're...  He's stressed and needs to release it but we can't do without him either.  His last week off, all the demons went quiet so we only had research cases.  This time I'm sure they'll cause us hell."

"Let him try screaming.  It could help.  I try to fish.  Maybe a sports game?"

"No particular one that he likes."  He shrugged as they walked into the dining hall and found Xander grilling one of the girls.  "What's going on?"

"She's got a date," Dawn called.  The girl swatted her. "This is Xander being a big brother."  She looked at him.  "I love you but you're loud."

He scowled at her.  "Do we know this boy?"

"A bit.  He's the little brother of the local werewolf."  Dean moaned at that.  "Did you hear about him?"

"Yeah.  I darted him last time I saw him too."  He and Xander shared a look.  "Is she meeting him there?"  She nodded quickly.  "Why?"

"So you three and Xander can't threaten him.  He's already slightly in awe of me.  I'd like a boy who wasn't scared of bodily harm to woo me."

"Fine," Xander said, shaking his head.  "We'll hear about it afterward.  You will carry your phone.  You will make sure that you are fully protected via birth control in case you get a case of terminal stupidity and do it on the first date.  You'll check in with one of us when you get back.  Clear?"

"Decent," she decided.  "Thank you, big brother."

He smirked.  "Don't make me bug you with a listening device or a concealed camera."  She shuddered and sat down to eat, not looking at any of the adults.

"We do want the girls to be normal," Wesley reminded him.

"I did the same thing to Sammy's first girlfriend," John told him.

"My father met mine with a sword in hand," Wesley said dryly.

"Not a bad idea," Xander mused.  Dawn swatted him.  "Hey!"

She looked at the girl.  "Buffy's rules are stricter.  I used to have to get permission to work on projects that had boys."  She shuddered.  "We'll calm him down.  This is first child syndrome."  John snorted, shaking his head.  "He'll relax when there's ten of us going on dates."  Xander shook his head.  "Yes you will.  By the time Anna starts to date, it'll be easier."

"Her watcher can threaten him."

"Yes I can," Gibbs called.  "And will."  The girls all groaned.  "Tough.  It's for your own protection.  You don't want to date a guy like DiNozzo, right?"

"Some of us have tried.  Don't tempt us," one of the girls called then a few giggled.

"Do we have to do another room inspection?" Xander demanded, giving them dirty looks.

"Faith stole yours, Xander."

"I knew that.  She stole mine and Dean's boxers to sleep in."

"I steal your t-shirts," Brenda said with a grin.  "They're worn perfect to sleep in, Xander."  He shook his head but he was grinning.  "I steal John's old boxers to sleep in because his waist is the right size.  You're too skinny.  You should eat more."  John swatted her on the arm.  "Sorry, John."

"He used to give us his old shirts to sleep in too," Dean said, sounding pleased.  "Means you might as well be a sister."  John swatted him too.  "Thanks, Dad."

"Behave, Dean."

"Why?"

"There's guests."

"We're used to more insanity," Vinnie said with a wicked grin.  "Really."  A young girl hopped in on crutches.  "Need help?"

"No.  I'm tough and I'm a slayer; I can eat dinner up here.  No matter what Doctor House says," she said with a pout.  She sat in her seat, looking at the table, then at Cook.  "Cook, I'm hungry!" she called.  Food came out of the kitchen.  "Thank you, Cook."

"You should be in bed."

"Then I'd have to eat soup and I'll end up going hungry all night and starting to starve for real."  She pouted.  "Dessert too?"

"We'll see.  Eat first, Annabelle."  She went back to the kitchen, bringing out the other food.  The girls were helping her and John was making her eat a lot more meat than vegetables.

House limped in.  "You should be in bed, Annabelle."  She spit at him.  "I mean it."

"I'm hungry and I'm a slayer.  If Xander can get out of bed with a ripped up back, I can get up too!"

Xander looked down at her.  "I can get up because I had bad parents.  You do not.  After dinner, you are going back to the infirmary even if I have to carry your tiny butt."  She pouted.  "Tough.  Suck it up.  Before you end up limping forever.  I am not a good judge of my own pain tolerances thanks to my upbringing and hunting.  None of you girls have that problem except Faith that I'm aware of.  Therefore, none of you are going to have that problem except Faith unless I'm made aware of it.  Am I clear?"  They nodded, looking amused.

"Have that talk with Cordette," Daniel called.  "She didn't want to go to the ER for the bump on the head she took because she's a slayer and tougher than that."

Xander growled.  "One attacked her?"

"Sheppard was there to help her work on some new things.  He got it.  It was invisible and blind-sided her into a locker.  Don said it's just a bump.  Alan's fussed very well over it.  Even Miss Kitty has.  Calm down."

"Don't make us sedate you again," House told him.  "You don't like it when I do.  Especially when I take the cute pictures for the girls."

"I agree.  Scary growl, X," Faith told him, staring him down.  Xander slumped, muttering something and the lights went out for a second.  She clapped.  "Nice work."

"Thank you."  He gave her a look.  Then he looked at the girls.  "If you need a bandaid, ice pack, stitches, or anything more than a kiss over a booboo, you are to head to the infirmary.  All right?"  They all sighed but nodded.

"Buffy doesn't," Annabelle pouted.

"Buffy's stupid," Faith told her.  "That's part of her rep and she does it for that reason.  X stitched her a number of times and so did Tweedy.  So quit and finish up so you can go lay down again."

"I have a bed."

"Yes but infirmary beds come with pain killers," Xander told her.

"Yes, but they come with huge needles too."

"I'll give you pills," House promised, digging into his own dinner.  "Are we getting a third table?"

"Probably a horizontal connector," Daniel told him.  "Soon."  That got a nod and everyone got back to eating.  When House was done, Annabelle got done too and Xander carried her down there.  Though he ended up in a bed of his own thanks to his back and had to stay because House and Chase reminded him of the attitude he was setting for the girls.  Xander sighed but stayed in bed and watched the tv in there.  He and Anna competed on the fifth grader show when it came on and he won, barely.  She was a fifth grader so that made sense.  He had more years of education.

***

Throttle looked at Jack later that night while they were off.  "Riding along?"

"I've been to many worlds.  Yours can't be stranger than the one with the humming plants and symbiotic beings."

Throttle shook his head quickly.  "Sounds boring."

"It was.  We had to set up a sound generator because they got hurt.  Sam's fault totally."  She glared at him.  "It was.  You were piloting."

"Whatever," she muttered, going back to helping navigate.  "What pet did McKay get given?"

"Eggy.  It eats Wraiths."

She turned to stare at him.  "Excuse me?"

"It's a newborn herbivore dragon," Daniel told her from behind his book.  "Her kind eat wraiths.  Therefore Eggy went to them.  She hatched and adopted McKay, which might keep him out of trouble.  She's about ten inches long right now and thinks his neck is the perfect napping spot.  Sheppard sent film."

"He sent me a complaint about portals and the new pet."

Daniel lowered his book to look at her.  "It happens.  When George started to go into heat I almost thought about sending him up."

"Weir would've killed you," she said smugly.

"Why?  It comes from their galaxy too."  She groaned, shaking her head.  "That's also where Xander's temple is.  Somewhere near there."

"If they run into it, Sheppard said he's not going to pretend to be a priest," Jack told him.

"How did he get a temple?" Vinnie asked.  "Can I get one?"

"There's this role playing quest game in a demon casino in Las Vegas," Daniel said, smirking at him.  "Xander was bored on his vacation because he doesn't really gamble.  He signed up to go into it.  No one had beat it yet using the standard hero methods.  Most people washed out after the huge jell-o cube from what he said."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "Xander took some untraditional methods with him.  Like instead of beating the dwarves with a sword, he challenged them to a drinking contest and won their respect."  Jack snickered at that, shaking his head.  "Yes, just like you did in that one place, Jack.
Anyway, the end level he had to beat this goddess that had been a problem in this realm or planet, whatever it is."

He put his book down beside his thigh.  "That was the purpose to the game.  To find someone who could beat her.  She was evil, Xander attracts evil women.  He played it as 'you know you want me, I can make them respect you instead of fear you, look how they want me'," he said blandly.  The mice cracked up and Jack was nearly howling in laughter now.  Sam was giggling too.  "All the tavern and inn wenches he had slept with in the prior twenty-two rounds all gathered together to prove he was a god of lust after he took her out.  We've got an official treaty with them.  Xander has a temple there.  The weekend he went to christen it, well, let's just say he came home very happy after two weeks their time.  Nine of it spent christening the new temple."

"You're not allowed to do that.  You'd have to use a sword instead of a laser pistol, bro."  Vinnie pouted.

"They call up now and then wanting him back so if Sheppard finds the temple, he can say Xander sent him but if he pretends to be a priest they might make him prove it," Daniel finished.

"He won?" Modo asked.

"First one in the ten years it had been running," Daniel agreed.  "He got a box that spewed money and a few bras because he had been thinking about the slayer shopping trips when he opened it."  Jack fell onto the floor laughing.  "It also gave him freakish luck.  He walked past a slot machine and it went off with no one playing it."  Sam cackled.  "It even spread to Dean and Sam since we had sent the trio together.  I am not letting those three go together again.  He can go with Tony."  He pulled back up his book but Caldwell cleared his throat. "Nearly there?"

"We're entering orbit now."  Sam returned to her duties.  "Is there a frequency we should use?"

Throttle came up to use the comm system.  "Freedom Fighter base, this is Throttle in an unidentified Asgardian ship.  Anyone copy?  I've got food and medicine for this sickness."  He let go of the button, waiting.

"Throttle?" a tired sounding voice asked.  "Prove it's you."

He smiled.  "Rimfire, don't make me paddle your tail like I did when you were five." Modo laughed.  "Where are you guys?"

"Mons.  Under the west shadow in the caves."

"Be there in about ten."  He hung up and pointed.  "There.  The west shadow is on the other side."  They nodded and moved the ship that way, keeping it in orbit above it.  They got sent down and he walked up to the guards. "Hey.  We know what's causing the sickness.  We have medicine and food for it."  They sighed in relief.  "I even brought the diplomats."

"Dude, you went to politicians?" one asked.

"They had the ship and the food."  They sent down cases.  "The ones marked MRE are individual meals.  There's enough there for nineteen hundred people to eat for a year."  That got a grin.  "Another one's water. The grass has some sort of fungal or mold contamination from the drought this year.  That's what it is."  He held up a bottle.  "One pill should cure it.  If it doesn't in eight hours, give a pill after twelve."

"From the first pill?"  Throttle nodded, handing it over.  "How many doses do we have?"

"Three thousand.  Just in case.  They'll last for two years.  With this, you can burn the grasses and start over."  They nodded, going to help lift the crates into the base.  Vinnie and Modo did too.  He nodded at the two guys helping.  "These are Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill.  The two ambassadors."

"We've heard," a female voice said.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem," Daniel said.  "This is what we do for peaceful peoples who only need some help."  He handed over the list.  "The doctors we asked said this is how your blood reacts to certain human medicines.  We took extra while we tested for a cure."  She smiled at the list.  "We included aspirin and penicillin since those are probably the most needed."  She looked at him.  "Jack's running the SGC.  I'm running DCIS.  Come to us if you need more help.  Call them and they'll come to us."

She nodded, shaking his hand.  "I can do that.  Thank you."

Jack grinned.  "You guys fought long and hard from what we heard."

"Stupid cartoon," she muttered.

He shrugged.  "It happens.  It let us identify them fairly quickly and not doubt them.  Also, the president said if you guys could find a place, a small enclave could be formed.  That might help some.  I don't know.  After the last few years they'd think you were fuzzy, harmless demons."

"Some might so they didn't have to deal with hardships."  Throttle nodded.  "You could stay."

"You can't afford to feed the people you have, much less our bigger appetites since we've been eating whenever we want down there.  It's better if we stay and set up a place for others to come when they need to get away or need to live."

She nodded.  "It is.  Those conditions are better.  We might send some of the children until they're grown."

He nodded.  "We'd love them like they're our own," Vinnie promised.  Modo nodded too.  "If we could set up a way we'd ship food more often."

"There are demons who can create portals and some of them are harmless species," Daniel said.  "I don't know if they can get this far or not.  I know some can create ones that go to other realms.  You might ask around and see what their rate is.  The one we have who can do stable portals is still learning and you saw her scaring the other aliens earlier."

"We'll consider it," Throttle agreed, smiling at them.  Modo took off running to hug an older mouse.  "His mother."

"Family is important to most species," Daniel said.  He grinned a bit.  "Most of the few it isn't important to, we don't like."

Throttle grinned.  "Would Xander say that?"

"Yeah.  He's the whole family for the slayers.  Then he brought in John and the boys to be big brothers.  He'd definitely agree."  He watched Modo come back.  "She can come visit."

"I know.  Make sure people take what they need, Carbine.  We can't lose too many more and survive."

"I will.  Children, pregnant women, and elderly first."  He nodded  "Thank you."

"Not an issue," Jack promised.  "Every now and then even we have to ask for  help."  She nodded and headed back into the caves.  "Are we dropping off the other guys before going home?"

"Did we bring them?" Daniel asked.  "I don't remember loading them."

"I thought we did."  They all transported back up and he looked at Caldwell.  "Get everything off?"

"Everything but the prisoners.  Carter got us hailed by one of them and they agreed to take them home since it's their folks.  She sent over the charge sheet."

"They'll be punished," Throttle promised.  "They're like that too."  That got a nod and they went to meet up with the other ship, passing off the prisoners and the dead bodies.   Then it was time to go home.

***

Stella looked up as someone knocked on her door.  "Who is it?"  She had only been back for two hours.  It couldn't be Mac checking on her yet.

"Me," one of the girls called.  She went to answer it.  "Um, Stella, can we treat you like we do Abby, like a big sister?"

"Sure.  I don't mind."  She let her inside.  "Need to talk about boys and things?"

"Other girl things.  I love Abby but she babbles and I can't understand some of it."  She blushed.  "I kinda turned into more of a girl tonight."

"Ah, that problem.  Period?"  She blushed brighter and nodded.  "It's not so bad."

"The other girls are on medicine.  They said to expect I'd need some too."

"Why?"

"Slayer blood draws bad things."  She looked at her.  "They said that means we have to have an exam with Doctor House or Chase.  I'm not sure I want to do that."

"It's not so bad.  A bit embarrassing but not bad."  She sat her down to go over what happened during it and what that all meant.  The girl even made her promise to go with her.  She called Chase to let him know they'd need to do one tomorrow.  He told her when to bring her in and then left to check on Annabelle.  They talked about boys and those things for another few hours then John came looking for her for bedtime.  She waved and promised to meet her tomorrow.  Stella gave John a look, getting a shrug back.  She decided to take the question she had to a higher source.  Wesley was outside with Binky trying to be adorable.  The unicorn trotted over to get petted from her too.  "I was coming over."  She sat down beside him.  "Meredith started her cycle," she said quietly.

"As do most of them," he said with a small smile.  "Thankfully she'll age out of her powers as well."

"Good to know.  Why do they have to go on the pill immediately?"

"Slayer blood is a highly sought after commodity.  It's happened that one girl drew demons for ten miles around with hers back in the old days.  When this solution was mentioned, we did check to make sure it wasn't going to harm them any but it does help.  It also calms down some of the more aggressive tendencies some of the girls can have now and then.  It's mostly a matter of their safety."

"What happens if they scrape their knees rollerblading?"

He smiled. "Bandaids are applied and the areas washed off as soon as possible.  We've had demons coming here to get some of the girls who were bleeding from small injuries.  Especially after the invasion.  They no longer try here but the mall is still an open area; even with chaperones it could and has almost happened.  Dean got the last one I believe.  It's not ideal but we would rather they not have to fight off everything every month.  It would get tiring to them."

"I can see that reasoning but right away?  The body takes time to adjust."

"Yes but the demons don't care if they're on their first or their thirty-first."  He smiled gently.  "Annabelle bleeding earlier nearly drove the demon dogs we have in the guard unit into a frenzy.  Brenda got scraped by George once and they tried to knock her down to lick her.  Even the most harmless demon can be affected."

"Damn."

"Basically.  The old lines didn't care about it.  They decided the girl could fight off whatever came.  When Xander suggested this I checked into it thoroughly before giving him an answer.  The health department nurses agreed it was fine to do even at their ages.  That if the bleeding was going to be a problem, stopping it would be the best issue.  They recommend the girls still have about four a year but most of them only want two and we make sure they have at least two.  They don't leave the base those days but we do make sure of it. We're not like the old line.  Their health and welfare is our highest priority.  That's why we do treat them as if they're perfectly normal little angels in a normal home life.  Otherwise they'd still be taking classes on base.  None of the girls would be allowed to date.  Nothing like that."

She nodded.  "I can see the necessity but what about the older girls who want kids?"

"They age out at twenty-three.  We've checked the one who already aged out; she can't be told as any different than a normal girl.  We've only lost one since all the girls were called and she wasn't here.  She was one of the ones we didn't get to in time.  We lost her to a car accident really."  She smiled at that.  "We would love nothing better than for them to have children when they're ready.  Before then, I doubt many of them are ready.  The girl who we rescued from Sudan already had some before she was called.  We do know most slayers do not carry well due to the calling and the fighting.  So we'd have to retire them from the field.  That is a situation we'll deal with when it's time."

"What happens if one of the girls slips up?"

"Then we'll deal with that also.  We have had a few who missed some pills and started off again.  One of them drew every demon in the county.  She was not happy when George nuzzled her that whole day whenever he found her."

"I guess that's okay then.  I'll warn Calleigh in case any of the girls come to her."

"Thank you.  It is rather difficult to talk to them about some things.  Abby has done a wonderful job."

"So Meredith said."  She stood up.  "Thanks, Wesley.  Good night, Binky."  Binky pouted at her.  "What?  I just got in."  The unicorn nuzzled her so she sat down to pet her some more.  "You're worried about Annabelle, huh?"  Wesley looked startled.  "The guard said she was protecting her."

"You know where Doctor Chase works?" he asked the animal.  She nodded.  "Annabelle is in there, Binky."  She headed that way.  "She'll go visit.  Annabelle has adopted all the pets around here.  Including the stray base cats.  George stayed because he loved her too."  He stood up.  "Have a good night."

"You too."  She went to talk to Calleigh since she saw her getting out of the jeep.  "Hey."

"Hey.  How was your case?"

"Slime."

"Mine was furry things needed help to settle a domestic 'who's the daddy' dispute."  She smiled. "They were adorable."

"That's cool.  Better than slime.  Got ten?"  She nodded and Stella helped her carry her bags up to her apartment while they talked about the girls.  Calleigh sighed but said she understood why.  So if any of the girls came to her, she'd be warned.

***

Chase looked up at the clicking noises in the hall, frowning until a horn, followed by a gray nose walked in, leading the rest of the unicorn.  "No pets in the infirmary," he ordered patiently.  Binky made threatening motions with her horn before going to check on Annabelle.  She was asleep when she nuzzled her hand so she moved to Xander.  He instinctively petted her even though he was asleep.  She stepped back then jumped up with him, settling down to lay against his front since he was on his side.  He continued to pet her in his sleep and it was nice.  Chase stared, then shook his head slowly.  "You shouldn't be in here or on the beds."   He hadn't heard the unicorns growl before but it was probably a bad sound so he backed off.  He called his boss.  "House, bring me a camera?  Visitors."  He hung up and finished the charts for the day and made a new note on Meredith's chart as well.

House stomped in, camera in hand.  He looked then he took pictures.  Chase snickered.  "Out, Binky."  She growled at him.  Xander growled too.  He swatted him.  "Stop it."  He looked down into the deep blue eyes.  "You're not allowed in here.  Your horn could cause other injuries.  Your fur too.  You can see them tomorrow."  She snuggled in better and gave him a smug look.  "Don't make me lift you, pony."  She swung her horn around when he tried.  He glared.  "Off the bed, Binky."  She gave him a smug look.  Digger came trotting in and sniffed Annabelle, making her sniffle back.  He nuzzled her hand and it was better.

"Don't even think about it, Digger," Chase warned.  "She's not supposed to and you may not be up on the bed."  He got up and came over.  "Besides, we'll have to check her and that means leaning over you."  It nuzzled her hand then left again.  He looked at Binky.  "Off the bed."  She made the same motion with her horn.

"I think that's 'up yours' in unicorn speech," Daniel said from the doorway.  "Can't be certain though."  He came in to look at her.  "No pets on the beds.  You have a nice barn that they built for you."  She wiggled and Xander flipped the blanket over her, shifting some.  He flipped onto his other side, dragging her, making her squeal a bit but she settled in better and it was fine with her.  "He's stronger than I am."

"Me too," House admitted.  They stared for a minute.

"Squirt gun like you do with a cat?" Chase suggested.

"Might work.  I was thinking about calling Cuddy and letting her talk to Binky."  The other men looked at him.  "She's a cranky dragon, Binky should understand that."  They groaned, shaking their heads.  "I don't know if water will help.  It might wake the kid instead."

"Shut up," Anna mumbled.  "Too noisy.  Slay you."

"Sorry," Chase said, going over to tuck her back in.  She snuggled in better and fell back into a deep sleep.  He grinned.  She was adorable.  House shook his head and took another picture of the boy and unicorn.  "Ask John?"

"Why?" Daniel asked.

"They listen to him.  Or Abby."

"Call John," House said.   Dean came in instead.  "He sent you?"

"Yup."  He looked at Binky, then shook his head.  "Binky, he loves you but he needs to sleep.  He'll end up rolling on top of you.  Get down?"  She snorted and put her head down on Xander's arm.  "C'mon, Binky.  Or Dad said Annabelle can't play for a few days."

She glared.  "Think John could get her moved?" House asked.

"No," Dean admitted.  "Sam either.  Gibbs maybe."  House paged him and he came down to try.  Dean waved a hand.  "Won't listen to me."

Gibbs looked at her.  "Get off the bed.  Before your hooves hurt him and he has to stay longer."  She glared and snuggled in.  "No.  Down.  Now, unicorn."  She snorted and when he came over she tried to horn him.  He did manage to swat her on the tail and make her jump down.  "Thank you!"  He walked off shaking his head.

She huffed and looked then jumped back up.  He let her snuggle and it was good again.

"We can swat too," Dean assured her.  She tried to stab him with the horn again.  "Fine.    Whatever.  If Anna's feelings are hurt in the morning that's all on you."

"With the broken bones there's no way we want her on Anna's bed," Chase told him.  "Too much pressure in the wrong spots could warp the bones from healing straight."

"Fine," House said.  "Xander doesn't have any open wounds at the moment.  If she causes one I'm shaving her bald."   The unicorn shrank down under the blankets so only her horn was exposed.  He walked off shaking his head.  Dean caught the elevator with him.  "Remember sanity?" he asked as the doors closed.

"Not really.  I was only four."

House sighed, shaking his head.  "Maybe Wilson will kidnap me home."

"When is your contract up?"

"Next month."  They got off the elevator and headed for their apartments to sleep.  Chase had duty tonight.  House would have cranky morning people to snark back at.

***

Horatio came into the infirmary the next morning.  "Chase, do you have any bandaids?  I managed to get a woefully bleeding papercut.  If I don't cover it, Alexx will know from her office in town and show up to nag."

He found one for him.  "Here you go.  Take Binky with you?"

"Let's go," he ordered.  "Go use the outside and eat."  She grumbled but went to do that. "Thank you."  He looked at him.  "Why was she on Xander's bed?"

"He needed a cuddle," Anna said, pouting.

"It would've hurt your broken bones more," Chase told her.

"Fine.  Whatever."  She was still pouting.  Digger came in and she cuddled him when he hopped up.  "I love you too, Digger."

House walked in.  "Not this again.  Out, Digger!"  He hopped down and trotted off.  "She can see you in a few days.  You can visit but not be on the beds.  Tell your mate that too!"  He shut the door, looking at Horatio.  "Exam?"

"Papercut so Alexx wouldn't psychically know and come fuss."  He finished applying the bandaid.  "Thank you."  He walked out, heading up to find a seat.  The new table was in so he took one there by Calleigh and Ryan.  "Eric still asleep?"

"Been in and gone for his run," Calleigh said with a smile.  "Papercut?"

"I don't want Alexx to have to fuss.  I also got to help shoo Binky out of the infirmary.  She decided Xander needed cuddled."

Ryan snickered.  "I'm sure he'll deny that."

"We have it on film," Chase said as he walked in.  "Stayed in all night, no matter what we tried."  He sat down to dig into his breakfast.  He looked at the girls' table, seeing two.  "What's wrong?"

"Sick," Dawn said, sniffling.

He checked her forehead.  "Go back to bed."

"Yes, Chase."  She finished up and went back to bed.  The other was Meredith and she had an appointment.

He looked at  Meredith.  "Want me or House?"

"I don't know," she said, looking miserable.  He smiled.  "Will he make stupid comments?"

"I'll swat him if he does," Stella assured her.

"Then I guess it'd be okay if he did it.  That way you can nap.  I know Xander probably drove you nuts all night."

"No, Binky did.  She was on his bed most of the night."

She grinned at that image.  "That sounds cute."

"It is."  She smirked.  "Go down whenever you're ready."  She nodded and finished breakfast.  Stella went with her.  They wouldn't be doing more than the cursory exam this time.  Not like they had to scrape for disease testing.  He finished up and went to bed.  His laptop's alarm was ringing so he looked.  "Have to get the others tomorrow," he said, resetting it for tomorrow.  Then he went to bed.  He was tired.  Arguing with a unicorn was not productive.

***

House looked over as Meredith walked in.  "What's up?" he asked.

"I started."

He nodded.  "We can handle that.  Still going?"  She nodded.  "It's not that bad.  I see you have a chaperone."

"She needs someone to hold her hand," Stella told him.

"That's fine.  Some of the girls do, some don't."  He pointed at the exam area.  "I'm sure you know the drill."  She nodded, taking her that way.  House checked on his patients to give her time to get into the  exam gown and lay down.  Then he found gloves to put on while he walked that way.  Stella gave him a look.  "What?"  He closed the curtain and tied it off.  "Just in case."  She nodded.  "Now, you started when?"

"Late yesterday night," she said weakly.  "This is really bad feeling."

He nodded.  "It can be but you only have to have it once a year until you get pregnant.  Most years we'll be scraping to check for diseases but since you're your age and haven't had sex yet, we don't have to."  She nodded at that too.  He got what he needed and came over.  "How are we doing on breast development?"

"Barely coming in and I went over how to do a self check," Stella told him.

"That's good.  Another important thing."

"That vaccine?"

"Every girl got it before school started," he assured her.  She smirked at that, nodding a bit.  "We had to make sure they had all their vaccines so we slipped it into that."  He pulled a stool over so he could be at the right height.  "Okay, relax.  It's going to be some pressure."  She hissed when he opened the speculum.  "Like I said, pressure."

"Hurts."

"Sorry, kiddo."  He looked then he frowned.  "Meredith, did you ride horses or anything when you were younger?"

"The watchers, let us do fun stuff?" she snorted.

He removed the speculum and came up to look at her.  "Bad question but did he touch you?"

She whimpered.  "My first one did but my second one shot him and took me from him," she said, giving him a begging look.

"It's not your fault.  Just making sure since I noticed you weren't totally pure."

"I wondered why I couldn't pet Digger."  She pouted.

"It's not a big thing.  You're better now and if you need to talk about that stuff, we do have the base shrink."  She nodded at that, letting him go back to the exam.  He ended up rinsing a bit of tissue to take a scraping anyway, just in case.  Then he checked over everything in her abdomen by pressing gently.  "Feels like you're okay so far."  He took off his gloves.  "Go ahead and sit up."  She did that.  "All right.  We have some things to talk over."  She nodded.  "You know that most of the girls are on the pill?"  She nodded.  "Do you know why?"

"Because our blood draws bad things."

"Exactly."  He smiled just a bit.  "There's a few options.  Do you think you can remember to take a pill every day?"

"I can't remember to take a shower every day."

"Do you think you can remember to change a patch once a week?"

She shrugged.  "I don't know.  Maybe?"

"Then let's try that method.  You'll have to put it somewhere you can't soak it off."  She nodded at that.  He went to get the starter box and bring it back.  "All right, this is your patch set.  It goes on like this," he said, applying the first one to her rear shoulder.  "You want it somewhere you won't be soaking but not somewhere someone will ask about it."

"I have to change in gym class.  I'm the only slayer in there."

He considered it.  "If someone has a problem or tries to pick on you, tell the teacher and then us," Stella told her.  She nodded. "If the teacher does it, you tell Xander."

"Yes, Stella."  She gave her a hug.  "I feel kinda nasty."

"That's the slick stuff we had to use," House told her.  "It'll clean up pretty easily.  The patch gets changed once a week.  When you need a new box, you come see us.  See how there's this odd colored patch?"  She nodded.  "Don't use that, go to the next box for four months.  Then you can use one of those.  That's when your cycle should start.  If it starts any other time we need to know."  She nodded at that.  "It also means you have to take security precautions."

"I heard."

"Good.  Now, anything else we need to talk about?"

"Will boys mind that?"

"No.  Someone might say something but there's a lot of ways to lose the hymen.  Horseback riding can, falling the wrong way on your bicycle can.  Doing what the girls up the hall from you do can."  She smiled.  "You're not old enough for boys yet anyway so don't worry about that question."

"Yes, House.  Any other precautions?"

"Nope.  You can go take a hot bath until the girls get home if you want."  He wrote out her excuse for her absence.  "There you go.  Go have chocolate to celebrate."  She smiled so he left her with her 'big sister' and went to make notes on her chart and start those scrapings running through the processor so they could for abnormal cells or diseases.  Just in case.  He doubted whichever watcher had saved her had thought about it.  Xander woke with a snort.  "Go back to sleep," he called.

Meredith came out redressed, going over to hug him.  "Good morning, Xander."

"Morning," he grumbled.  "Why aren't you in school?"

"Exam."

"Ah."  He gave her a hug.  "It's a long road on the way to adulthood.  Don't rush it."  She nodded, letting him fall back asleep.  She walked out with Stella to get a treat and talk some more.  If she didn't have a lot of paperwork to do.  She only had to do the report so she helped and talked with her at her desk for a while since most everyone was off doing something in the gym.  The new people had to learn how to use a sword and the usual PT too.

***

House walked up to where Wesley was, tapping him and nodding for him to follow.  Wesley followed him into the hall.  "Meredith's had two watchers?" he asked.

"She did?"

"One rescued her and shot the old one."

"Oh, dear.  Harming her?"  House nodded.  "Is it pertinent now?"

"It may need to be talked about with the base shrink.  Fortunately he didn't pass on anything that I could find."

"If she needs it of course she will.  Anything I should be concerned about?"

"She's on the patch."

"She is a bit scatter minded," he said with a small smile.  "That's fine.  If that doesn't work, talk to one of us."  He nodded so Wesley went back to his seat, stopping to give her a hug.  "Do you have any other questions?"

"No, Stella did really good talking to me."

"Good .  If you do, you can come to me as well.  I might not be as good at it but I'll try."

"Yes, Wesley."  She dug in, blushing at the look Marian gave her.  "What?"

"What happened?"

"First exam with Doctor House," she said quietly.

She grinned.  "It'll be okay.  They only happen once a year.  We all have them."  She nodded.  "If you need it, you can talk to us older girls too.  We went through it not that long ago."

"Okay.  Can we change topics?"

"Sure.  Dawnie has an admirer."

Dawn looked at her, shaking her head.  "Dawn has someone she's tutoring.  He doesn't want in my panties.  He's got a cheerleader for that."

Marian gave her a look.  "You sure?"

"Yup.  Unless he's in it for the count.  Even then, he's dating and I'm not that trashy."

"Good."  Wesley smiled.  "That is a good thing."

Dawn looked at him.  "Freaked?"

"Slightly.  Have you told your sister?"

"Yup.  Talk about freaked.  Ten page complaint about what assholes boys are."  He laughed and nodded.  "Told me I couldn't date until I pointed out my age and she had Angel tied up and evil by my age.  She let it go again.  So we're okay.  Giles is probably polishing his glasses but oh well."

"We've talked with our teachers?" Wesley asked.

"Yup, all the time."

"They know of this boy?" he pressed.

"They know more about the hotty young sorcerer out there," she said with a smirk.  "He likes to hit on me."  Brenda gave her a look.  "John, you need to quit turning Brenda into such a Winchester.  She just gave me the same 'my underwear's too tight' look you usually give when we talk about boys."

He gave her the look too.  "Do your teachers like that sorcerer?"

"Leo doesn't like his family.  Thinks he'll turn out the same.  Piper's wary.  Phoebe says he's cute.  Paige likes him, says he's cute and smart.  They all said it's up to him to choose his own path and to be wary of what he might want to do with me, but otherwise they're all for him."

"Who's his family?" Brenda demanded.

"There's a few chaos people."

She shuddered.  "Is he using it?"

"No.  Right now he's conjured an earth elemental spirit to help him with his herb garden and to learn from him."  They all gaped.  "He's not being mean.  The spirit tells him how to take care of the plants magically and not.  If he was being mean I'd never talk to him.  I don't date things that hurt other beings.  I asked the spirit and it says he's nice and learns very well from him."

"Does your sister or Xander know about *him*?" John asked.

"Nope.  The next time they're local I was going to introduce him.  We're only friends.  He's not being pushy or anything.  So far he flirts but that's it.  I haven't accepted more than a cup of coffee from him."

"Good!" Wesley agreed.

She rolled her eyes.  "I thought Buffy was going to be the one panicking about me dating."

He gave her a look.  "With who and what you are, it is possible that someone with that sort of power has either an attraction to you because of your power or his power is seeking a mate of equal power," he said quietly.

"We went over power attraction, Wes.  We also talked about slimebags who want me for what I can do.  I promise, if he shows any signs of it, I'm dumping him and snubbing him forever."

"Very well then."  He looked at her.  "At least you're being a sensible girl about such matters.  Some girls are all twitter and flutter and don't pay a bit of attention to reality."

"I'm sure that was a compliment," she teased.

"Indeed."

She smirked.  "Fine.  Thank you, Wesley.  Where is Xander?"

"Catching up on some much needed sleep in the infirmary.  Now that Binky's not on his bed it's been rather good for him all day."

"I'm sure they're amused down there."  She shrugged, spotting someone in the doorway.  "Ryan, head's up."  Ryan looked up and Alexx walked in to give him a hug.  She looked at the lesbian couple.  "How are you two doing?  Since we're on relationships and all."

"We're good," Amber said with a grin.  "Very good."

Her girlfriend Kim looked at her, then shrugged.  "It's not bad but the quirks are starting to come out.  She never cleans."

"I'm happy with how my room is.  We can spend more time in yours if you want.  Though you're taking down all the boyband posters."

"I can do that."

"I want them," Meredith said.

"Sure," she agreed, smiling at her.  "We can do that."  She looked at Dawn.  "Need one?"

"Why?  If I need one, I can go surfing for one and print it out."  The others smiled at that and nodded.  "Want my can of air freshener?  It smells like someone's mildewed socks from your room, Amber."

"Please," she said with a small blush.  "Usually I have Anna help me."

"She'll be on crutches for weeks yet," Wesley told her.

"I know."  They finished up and went back to the dorm to get that room cleaned up and refreshened.  John walked in when the air freshener got too strong and opened a window, walking off shaking his head.  "It's cold," Amber called after him.

"That stinks."

"Sorry."  She turned on her fan to blow all the bad air out the window and then went to her girlfriend's room instead.  They took down the racy posters to hand off then snuggled while doing homework on the bed until they drifted off together over Algebra.

***

Speed looked around his apartment.  It was clean, which was a nice change.  It'd be good enough for Alexx.  He went to let her, Ryan, H, Calleigh, and Eric in.  "See, I can clean when I'm on base."

"You tried very hard, sugar," Alexx promised, pinching him on the cheek.  She came in to dust on him but he only rolled his eyes.  They settled around to get comfortable with each other again.  Speed went to make something to snack on but that was all right.  Up the hall, Danny was doing the same with Mac and Stella.  Their first case had creeped Mac out and had gotten Stella mad at a demon for messing up her clothes.  Danny was calming them down.  His team had furry things doing a Springer Show redo.  It had been a bit funny until they turned it into a war.  Now they were watching tv and nibbling.  "What was going on with the girls?" she asked Ryan.

"Dawn found a boy she likes near where her teachers are.  They were nagging her to make sure he had good intentions since he uses magic too and has some questionable family. Her teachers sound like they're watching it but he might be okay for her.  More disliking his family than him.  Meredith had her first girl appointment so they were talking with her.  Amber and Kim are together so Dawn was teasing them about how Amber doesn't like to clean.  They were doing that tonight.  Xander's still in the infirmary taking a nap.  Binky spent the night with him last night on his bed, pissing off the docs a bit.  The usual small talk at dinner."

"At least they're not having to hand back underwear this time," Speed said dryly.

Ryan laughed.  "It's slowed down."

"Mostly.  There's still the corps of perverts."

Alexx gave him a look.  "Some of the girls?"

"Yeah, some of them still panty raid," Speed assured her.  She rolled her eyes.  "Now and then the guys have to go do a room inspection to take back our underwear, confiscate the skin mags, all that.  Most of the worst offenders hide them with the girls who're together because John doesn't check their stuff for contraband."

"I remember when all you had to worry about was smoking," she sighed, shaking her head.

"You still do.  Sam got one girl he caught bumming one off a guard.  Her yelp you heard by the barn when he swatted her.  Then she got a long talk with John about how it's bad for her training and then she got to talk with House about the bad things that happen to a body that smokes.  Last time I saw, she was sneaking some chewing tobacco instead and I turned her in to Chase.  He'll go over it again."

Alexx shook her head.  "Those poor girls."

"They're treated pretty normally.  It's what we'd do for our kids," Ryan told her.

Calleigh nodded.  "It seems to be.  They used to all take classes here on base until Xander went on a 'they have to have a normal life' kick and got them enrolled."

"That was planned all along but some of the girls had very poor educations," Speed told her.  "Brenda could barely read when she got here.  Her watcher kept her out of school whenever he could for training reasons. A few of the other girls were far behind.  All us guys stepped in to help with those.  Especially once Sam got there to take over that and Demonology lessons.  We took them with him, helped with the ESL classes for those girls who speak other languages and Watcher's Latin.  We were working in other classes at least once a week.  A few of the girls hadn't had science at all.  Abby was teaching that.  When cases started to pick up, Xander moved to step two, which was getting them into the local school.  He had planned to give them another couple of months to hopefully get them up to age standards.  A few made it."

She smiled.  "Their exams?"

"Necessary.  Brenda was walking through a mall sucking on a papercut she got in the bookstore getting a new graphic novel and three demons tried to pounce her by one of the food stalls."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "Slayer blood is strong and it calls out to them.  It's protecting them.  I'm guessing one of the girls started?"

"Meredith.  Stella went with her."

"That's cool.  She's almost thirteen if I remember right so she's about on track.  How did you guys like your first sword lessons?"

"Not a lot of fun," Calleigh admitted.  "And it was a machete lesson."

"Xander teaches sword work, Wesley can fence," Ryan told her.  "Dean doesn't usually use anything bigger than a machete because he can't conceal it.  It points back to their different ways of training and hunting.  The guys use guns a lot more than Xander used to.  Xander knows artillery though.  Who is over the armory?"

"Xander," Speed said.  "He was making bullets to keep away the nightmares the other night."  Ryan leaned out to look down the couch at him.  "He was.  I think he's having more vision nightmares but he won't talk with anyone.  I think John's about to stop that though."

"Good.  We need Xander.  Xander's the glue that holds the agency together sometimes."

"Jack wants Danny back.  That would put Tony in charge," Speed warned.

"The president said Xander may not be in charge.  He can't talk to the press and he doesn't put forth a good public image because he's a bit scruffy now and then.  Plus he threatened to have a reporter eaten when she broke into his room in Vegas to see if him having a dinner with Hodges to recruit him was him having dinner with Hodges for other reasons."

"I heard Hodges filed a complaint with the station and had sent over the preliminary paperwork to sue her for defamation of character," Eric said.  "I talked with Warrick the other day and he told me.  He also said Grissom was growling at the attempted poaching and Ecklie was fuming about it not being on his shift instead."

Calleigh shook her head.  "Sometimes I feel so sorry for those boys.  Grissom doesn't do people very well.  Ecklie's a puss sucker worse than Stetler ever could be.  Catherine's nominally in charge but she's got her own cases.  Poor Greg must be getting it now and then."

Eric smirked.  "Warrick said Ecklie tried to get Greg back into the lab.  Greg, who had just pulled a double, told Ecklie to jump off or he was going to have him eaten.  After all, he knew just where ones that would do it are.  Ecklie went to find a priest and hide in his office."

Horatio smiled.  "Not very polite."

"No, but very effective.  Eckie's an attention whore," Speed said.  Ryan moaned.  "No, yours is you can't shut up in front of your ex.  That's why I nearly shot her during our last case down there."

"She's moved to LA."

"Warn me if she shows up again," Speed ordered.

"I will."

"Good.  Why did she move to LA?"

"More news.  Better paycheck.  Closer to the national networks."

"Ah."  He grimaced.  "Still dumb."

"Very.  Did you hear our profiler blew up and screamed at someone during the dragon thing?  He was the only liaison in DC and everyone kept bothering him during a case they were working on so he ended up losing his temper majorly.  His whole team came down on the agents that kept bothering him and got them fired with prejudice."

Speed smirked.  "I like the BAU guys.  Spenser's a nice kid.  He's the one who suggested Tony get Greg from what I remember.  Him blowing up sounds a bit out of character."

"They had a homicide ring," Ryan told him.  Speed shuddered.  "So he had a bad case, plus idiot agents who wouldn't leave him alone to work.  Pity."

"Very.  Tony's friend at the FBI have fun with them?"

"Yup.  Gibbs heard and called him.  They're blacklisted for having *no* sense.  They tried to come back after he screamed at them."

"Idiots," Speed agreed.

"Very," Horatio agreed.  "The BAU team with Agent Hotchner in charge?"  The boys nodded.  "I've worked with him.  The liaison is Doctor Reed?"

"Yup.  Tony tried to get him here full time but he's our liaison and profiler on call if we need it for sacrificial stuff.  We handed over a cult case to them a few months back.  They were on their way back from a case and popped in.  It was one of those 'there's cases from the same people on a few different desks from a few different cities' sort of killer.  Totally human, made up language that looked slightly arcane so they kicked it to us."

"I had another of those the other day," Ryan said with a frown.  "The arcane was something strange and no one could find it.  Dawn looked over my shoulder and flipped the picture around.  Thomas identified it and got me a resource.  That man is THE librarian of the universe.  Like Sam's a research god."

They all smiled at that.

"I had a research case hit my desk today," Eric admitted.  "Tony talked me through it since he sent it from his present case.  Sam's a lot of help."

"He is," Ryan agreed.  "So are most of the guys.  Wesley is whenever it hits his area of expertise and he doesn't lecture on it like Giles used to when you went to him about something."

"I'd like more lab work," Calleigh admitted.

"I like the research cases and half the time the lab work comes with it," Ryan told her.  "Or we're borrowing a lab somewhere on a field case.  Team or not.  That's why it was a rule to have a CSI on each team."

"I remember taking over your job as Xander's CSI," Speed said dryly.  "The first time I handed him a report he gave me such a confused look and asked me how this helped him kill the demon trying to eat the rest of us."

"Xander told me the first time I gave him one that science was an evil language and he didn't go for evil languages, only good demon ones," Ryan joked.  "I learned to give him details instead of reading it to him or helping him understand what it said.  I tried for four weeks to explain those things to him."

"I thought we used the jail," Alexx said.

"We do, but Xander's team is the one you send out for the bad things," Speed told her.  "Anything too deadly that might need to be hunted instead of arrested.  Anything to do with weapons.  Anything you might have to call a slayer in to deal with, we send Xander's team on.  Like the last one was a demon that even if we could arrest it, it would've disappeared within days and went back to eating people.  Anything that has to be hunted, Xander gets sent on.   Also most cult cases because of the way he looks at the world.  That's why his team got sent to Miami and would've been sent even if everyone were back on base.  Something that big is going to require hunting skills and that's what Xander trained as.  Not that I minded.  He protects his team.  I learned a lot about demon hierarchies from him.  Half the demons are scared of him because his rep is 'I'll get you if you make me'."

"Especially if you touch the girls," Horatio agreed.  "During the Miami clan war, one of them went after Faith and Kennedy.  Xander got told by one of the other snitches trying to bring the slayers down to stomp on all the clans so they could move up in the standings.  Xander went there, got the three demons who were being problems, glared at the rest, laid down the law that they were there only for the clan war unless they ran into vampires, then went back to the safe house.  When I asked, the demons said they all knew not to mess with the girls.  Killing a slayer may happen in a battle but the slayers don't pick their battles unless they find a bad thing or a one hunting.  The vampires who attack anyway are stupid and if one of the girls falls, every demon everywhere expect to mourn that one when Xander gets there.  I asked about Dean's team when he came down and I heard about their rep too.  Fire and shotguns."

"Basically.  They handled a lot more spirit manifestations than demons.  Any of the demons they handled were highers, not the lower class ones like we see.  The ones that make deals, do possessions, those things.  John taught the boys well and they were a force to be reckoned with," Speed agreed.  "Xander's been known to be Buffy's backup and there were plenty who didn't discount him like Buffy and Willow did a few times.  Xander has 'pull a plan out of my ass' syndrome."  Ryan snickered at that.  "He does but it's usually the right thing to do.  Even when it is a weapon.  That's why we all learn some sword work.  In case we have to."

"I'm so glad I learned some," Ryan agreed.  "Danny had to beat dragons of with his.  He said he'd quit complaining about having to do it."

Speed nodded.  "Me too."  Alexx gave him an odd look.  "There were still creatures over there when we got displaced.  Plus I've had to decapitate a vampire in the past to get it off someone."  She shuddered.  "Ninety percent of everyone else's cases end in an arrest.  That vampire wasn't the case, he jumped out and attacked the team one night.  Fifty percent of Xander's teams cases end in an arrest.  Usually multiple arrests.  Plus he's listening to Giles' crap and dealing with the stuff that Wesley and Dean don't.  Plus he's been helping with the research by identifying species.  I'm going to nudge Thomas to assign someone else to do that.  Dean's taking over some duties and John's taking over some of the admin stuff for the girls.  Wesley's taken back the checkbook finally."

"The boy does too much," Alexx complained.

"And he's not dumping stress either," Eric said.  "I heard the limping doctor say he was still holding it in."

"That's Doctor House.  He's my earlier prototype," Speed said dryly.  They all laughed at that.  "He's a diagnostician."

"Who has a pill problem," Horatio said with a small frown.

"The reason he limps is because he lost a lot of muscle tissue in his leg, H.  He's in a shitload of pain.  Even if he's addicted, it's not affecting his job.  If it did, Jackson would kick his ass."

"Good to know."

"Danny's a lot tougher than he looks," Ryan warned.  "His last project had a lot of problems.  He's seen some combat.  He's very much a guy that'll do what's necessary."

"He's like Xander's PhD clone?" Eric suggested.

Speed nodded.  "Basically.  Not that Xander's dumb.  He's not book smart but he's very street and people smart.  He probably would've made a good cop."

"I've barely interacted with him," Calleigh admitted.  "I heard he joked about being an idiot savant with weapons."

"He can do more than that but you might offer to help with the armory inventory he has to do next month," Speed said dryly.

"Sure, I can do that.  Why do we have the locker system?"

"Benny Ray knew that Tony hired a lot of CSIs, who aren't always comfortable with their guns.   He and Ryan made sure they stayed clean, had ammo, all that.  Wolfe went to have OCD fits in there and drove him out a few times."

"He forgave me."

"I'm sure he did," Speed agreed.  "He's a nice guy.  He and Sheppard are helping Cordette since they're in Hermosa Beach."

"She's going to be the best weapons slayer ever," Ryan teased.

"She is," Horatio agreed.  "I doubt she'll be very girly."

"No.  She's very girly and her cat is too," Speed assured him.  "They make sure she's a normal girl and this is a training for the future thing.  One of the green things got her knocked out and Sheppard took it out," he told Ryan.

"She okay?"

"Bump on the head but Don Epps apparently complained she did a replay of Anna's thing at dinner.  Don threatened to make the whole family fuss."

"That makes Xander and John both behave," Ryan said smugly.  "John's been avoiding the infirmary since the time he got possessed and Dean let five of the girls fuss over him."

"That'd make me stay away too," Speed assured him.  Horatio snickered.

Alexx patted him on the head.  "I do have fussing rights, Timothy, and if you try to take them away I will tan your hind end," she assured him.

"Yes, Alexx."

"You too, Ryan Wolfe."

"Yes, Alexx," he agreed with a grin.  "So, anyone check in back at home?"

"The Chief is most upset with us," Horatio admitted.  "He could see Alexx, possibly me, but to have to replace most of a shift?  He's quite upset."

"I didn't ask, do not make him yell at me," Speed ordered.  Alexx swatted him.  "Hey!"

"Shut up, Timmy."  She gave him a hug, even when he made complaining noises.  "My boys."

"What do your kids think about the snow?"

"We're insane.  Our people came from hot climates, Miami's a nearly tropical place, and their parents moved them where they'll freeze to death soon.  They do not like it.  Tough but it's still a better school system thanks to the lack of students."

"They were talking about consolidating until all the slayers signed up.  They figured the base's people might be having kids some year so they decided to leave the school alone."  Speed wiggled free, getting swatted for it.  "Sorry, not used to being cuddled."

"Did Tony not find any good female agents?" Calleigh asked.

"He asked about ten from what he told me when I signed on," Ryan told her.  "They all said they had too much sense to be messed up in this.  Even after the invasion, most of the female agents don't want to come here.  I don't know why.  I know some of the agents have teamed up."  He nodded up the hall, getting a smirk from Horatio for it.  "Mac still confused?"

"A bit but he likes them together.  He thinks the two slayers together are adorable too."

Calleigh nodded.  "They are. Annabelle's the most adorable thing ever too."

Eric laughed.  "I heard she could out stubborn Gibbs."

Horatio nodded.  "Yes she can.  And Xander too."

Alexx snorted. "The babies need more women in their lives."

"Stella and I agreed we could be big sisters and Abby's been doing a lot of that," Calleigh promised with a smile.  "John makes a good daddy to the brood with Sam, Dean, and Xander playing bossy big brother.  Most of the agents too.  Except one of the guys on Xander's team."

"They have macho syndrome.  A squishy feeling comes near them and they shoot it," Ryan joked.  Alexx moaned, shaking her head.  "They do."

"They do," Speed agreed, nodding a bit.  Alexx carded her fingers through his hair.  "I know, I need a trim.  I'm doing that this weekend if we're in town."

"Uh-huh.  You are."  She smiled at Horatio.  "You could use one too."

"I need to find a good one first," he said.  "Not just anyone can handle my haircut or the cowlicks I have when it gets too long."

"I noticed it was starting to look a bit wavy in the back," Calleigh teased.  He swatted her when she tried to play with it.  She smirked.  "Not the boss now, Horatio."

"I can still spank you."  She giggled.

Someone knocked on the door then leaned in.  "Guys, do you have anything to nibble?  Stella's got them and ate all my microwave popcorn," Don asked.

"Second cabinet in the kitchen," Speed told him.  He grinned and went to get some.  "Take the rice cakes.  They're sweet."

"Thanks, man.  I'll get more later."  He walked out, handing them to her.  "Here, nibble."

"What does George the shrub eat?" Eric asked.

"A special plant food Abby mixes up.  He attacks her for it every now and then like a junkie," Ryan told him.  "He's about doubled in size."

"Yes, he used to be a tiny walking shrub," Horatio agreed.  Then he shook his head.  "I think the time Mac and I showed up he freaked us out more than anything else around here."

"Thankfully you stared from outside his sunny spot," Ryan teased with a smirk.

"Did anyone else hear 'pets for the slayers' and think about George walking one?" Speed asked.  Ryan nodded.  Eric did too.  "Good, then it wasn't just me."  He shook his head quickly and Alexx laughed.  "They're good pets for the girls.  Binky will stab someone if they upset them.  George got a few of the girls with his spines during sparring practice.  Oh, when it gets cold, he likes to hide in the elevators.  It's warm and bright for him.  Fair warning."

"I saw that earlier," Eric said, shaking his head slowly.  Calleigh gave him a hug.  "I pushed the button and nearly jumped before I realized it was him.  Though he got off and went to rub against Abby's door until she gave him some more plant food.  So maybe he's like a stray cat?"

"Could be," Speed agreed.

"You missed seeing McKay's reaction to Binky and Digger," Ryan told him. "Abby drug him out to introduce them.  Binky knocked him down to play with him and he freaked.  Tiff had to guard him inside and they ran like they were looking for cover from open gunfire by the pictures she took."

Speed snickered.  "He doesn't like the unicorns?"

"Or Eggy from what Jack was saying in the halls earlier."

Speed smirked but shook his head.  "I love the scientist part of him but he is a bit annoying now and then.  We need more people to do research too."

"I was thinking about that," Ryan admitted.  "We all take turns helping with it."

"House's contract runs out next month," Speed told him.

"Chase's too probably.  I wonder who we'll have instead."

"No idea.  House was supposed to be finding someone they could get instead.  That's one of his jobs, to see what we really need for one since we had a half of a trauma team before him."

"I'll ask Chase tomorrow," Ryan decided.  "I know their friends are coming out tomorrow."

"They can be freaked out by Binky and Digger too," Speed said dryly.

"Could be.  House warned me one was uptight."

Speed nodded.  "I can see that.  Chase is a bit but some residents are very uptight."

"Chase asked the girls to hit on one of them," Ryan said smugly.

Speed smirked back, then cackled.  "Ooh, those poor people."

"We'll get a show since we shouldn't have another team case for at least a week."

"We hope," Speed corrected.  "Hope really hard."

"I am."  Eric shifted and Ryan looked at him.  "Cuddling me?"

"No!"  He gave his head a shove.  "Shifting so my butt wasn't numb."

"Fine.  Maybe I'll hit on Xander."

"Tony said Xander's open to stress relief," Speed said quietly.

"After christening his temple?  I'm sure he is," Ryan shot back, giving him a look to make him crack up.  "I've never seen anyone who was that exhausted after sex."

"Well, it was nine days of christening his temple and then something attacked so he beat it off, then a higher one wanted some personal time to try to kill him after sleeping with him.  He came home after getting away from her."

Ryan shook his head.  "I don't need to know."

"He said they made a teaching manual."

"I do well enough without it."

"You think?" Speed asked smugly.  "We'd have to ask your exes."

"We could ask your last one," Eric said smugly.

Speed snorted.  "They'd say it was good.  I'm not worried."

Someone outside screamed and they went to look off the balcony.  "Shut up!" Ryan yelled.  The screaming stopped.  The guards came to remove the woman so they could talk to her.  "Need help?"

"We have it, Wolfe.  Thank you."  The last guard followed her off.

"Wonder whose ex she is," Eric said.

Speed smirked.  "Gibbs'."  They all laughed all the way back to the couch.

***

Gibbs stomped into interrogation, looking at the woman in the room.  "How did she get out?"

"Don't know, sir, but George got her with a poison dart then waddled off because she was loud."

"I wonder if she still doesn't believe in demons."  Daniel came in to join him.  "Her."

"The old director.  Wonderful."  He found his cellphone and called the head of Homeland.  "Weren't you going to take care of Jennifer Sheppard for us, sir?  Because she's here."  He listened to him. "Fine, we'll take care of it."  He hung up and walked in there.  "Miss Sheppard, I'm Director Jackson."  She sneered.  He smirked.  "Thanks to your very nicely signed threat to my base, you're under arrest."

"You can't do that."

"I can so.  Guys?"  They came in to cuff her and read her her rights, taking her to the prison.  "Put her on the human side."  They nodded.  He followed, watching her put into her cell and the forcefield turned on.  "Thank you."  He walked off, leaving her to stare at the demons across the hall from her.  She was screaming and ranting about Hollywood stunts but he didn't really care.  He ran into Gibbs again.  "Don't beg."

"I'm not.  She tried to burn my house."  Daniel moaned, shaking his head.  "You could have put her in the demon or the mixed section."

He let him see her cell.  "She can see all sorts of demons, Gibbs.  If that doesn't break her delusion, then maybe the base shrink can.  We'll put her in front of our judge in the morning."

"Thank you."  He walked off even though she had spotted him and screamed his name.  He went to the security system to watch over her tonight but they had heard about her.  Daniel went back to his apartment.  Xander was trying to sneak out of the infirmary.  Doing a good job of it too.  "Harris is using his ninja skills."

The guard down there called the infirmary.  "Sir, are you missing Harris?  Gibbs caught him using ninja skills to sneak off.  Sure, sir."  He hung up.  "He'll get him in a bit."  They went back to watching her rant and scream.  Finally the demons started to yell back and made rude gestures.  The guard went down to stop one.  "I don't care what you do most of the time but we do not need to see crying inmates.  Quit waving it around before I cut if off!" he said hotly.  The demon shrank back and put his dick away.  "Thank you!"

"What'd she do?" one of the demons called.

"She sent a threat to the base."  He walked off.  The boss was right to have her confined if the human authorities wouldn't.  He saw Chase come in.  "She's been in psych from the rumors we heard."

"That's fine.  I still need to make sure she's healthy and draw blood."  The guard nodded.  They walked to the cell.  "Ms. Sheppard, I'm Doctor Chase.  I'm going to examine you to make sure you're healthy and don't need any medical attention. The guard will be staying but I can get a female one if you'd rather have one.  We will be blocking out the cell so none of the other inmates can see."  She sneered so he stepped in and the guard did too, blacking out the cell's forcefield.  The guard got her sitting on her cot and he checked her over, drawing blood as well.  The guard kept her still while he did it.  He put everything away and stepped back once the small shot mark was covered.  "There we go.  Do you have any allergies we might need to be aware of for future medical treatment?"  She shook her head, looking pissed.  "That's fine then.  Food comes in regularly with the guards.  If you need help, the tray can be used to hit the blue button just outside your forcefield and they do keep an eye on the prisoners."

"A ten second rotating exposure," the guard agreed.  "So do something to let us know, ma'am."  They walked out and the shield went back to what it should be.  He locked the door behind Chase and went back to security.  "She's not happy," he told Gibbs.  He showed him how to reprogram it to hover in one cell, getting a nod of thanks.  "Chase seemed to think she was healthy."

"She should be.  She spent the last ten months at a special, private hospital in DC."  He watched her get up to pace and mutter.  "Sound?"  It was turned up for him.  They listened to her make plans.  She wasn't doing a whole lot of good planning but she was trying really hard.  Gibbs pointed at one thing.  "Isn't that a break in?"

"Yup."  They went to stop the earth demon that had tunneled in, letting it come out to find itself surrounded at gunpoint.  It gave up.  The head guard made it seal its own tunnel and then took it to a new cell.  Whoever had built the base did a good job making sure it was on rocks that couldn't be tunneled through easily.  This was the same earth demon they had in custody already.  It wasn't happy.  Pity.  The guards went back after walking a round of checking in the cells.  One stopped to add more food to one of the clan cells so they'd quit nibbling on one of the others in there.  The inmate shrugged and did it anyway.  He walked off shaking his head.  Gibbs was frowning at that cell.  "No idea," that guard admitted. "We tried to separate them and they nearly rioted to get back together.  That one may've broken a clan rule.  They killed the last one who challenged the leader of the gang for dominance."

"Charming," Gibbs said.

"Only in some cultures.  Some are nicer.  That earth demon's pretty calm, he just hates being stuck in a cell since he was paid to try to break in.  He did not like meeting Xander and Dawn with weapons."

"I wouldn't either."  He went back to watching Jen stare at the others.  She was mumbling about their costumes but oh well.  He looked at the cell she was staring at, finding the demon working himself off.  She was nearly disgusted but still watching.  "Is that a female wing?"

"No.  That's temporary holding.  The judge is seeing all those tomorrow.  He's been on vacation.  Then she'll be moved to High Risk and put up there."  He pointed at the hanging cells.  "That comes with a radio for entertainment and contact with the outside world, a skylight for sun exposure, her own room and bathroom, plus privacy.  There's only two others on that ward and they're both assassins and human as well."  That got a nod.  "The only way up or down is Dawn Summers or a hidden staircase we have to move into place."

"Good to know.  So there is safety but she won't be able to incite problems."

"Or have any if she's attacked.  One of the darlings up there is up there because the demons thought she was cute and wouldn't leave her alone.  We offered and she agreed."

"Even better."

"Jackson was serious about the prisoners being as safe as possible, Gibbs.  They don't get much in the way of creature comforts but they're well maintained.  Up there, food drops from the ceiling chutes.  Along with a week's supply of toilet paper, towels, all that.  They have a laundry chute too but it's got a weight sensor and will use forced air to get anything too heavy out."  That got a nod.  "She'll be fine."

"Good."  He stared for a few more minutes then he left.  He had to think.  His apartment was a good place for that or he could go spiff up the barn a bit more.  The kids had done good work on it but there could be some decorative details around the openings and things.  The unicorns would let him do whatever he wanted.  It was nice of them.  It gave him a replacement for his boat.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Partners, Teams, and Slayers.

"Gentlemen," the president said over the speaker.  "We have approximately 73 dragons left on this plane.  What are we doing with them?" he demanded.

"Is there any reason to keep them alive?" one of the guys on the other end of the phone conference asked.

Danny glared at the phone.  "Besides the fact that some of them showed more intelligence than some of the people who've applied for federal service?" Danny asked dryly.  The president coughed.  "I had one the other day who could barely tie his shoes but he wanted to kill things.  We did a background and had him arrested on the warrant he had.  My suggestion would be zoos."

"Zoos?" the other man demanded.  "Where?"

"Major metropolitan areas?" Danny suggested dryly.  "Maybe a breeding pair to China since they're all but a national symbol?  Maybe a pair to Japan?"

"Speaking as someone who's guarding their present preserve, they eat a ton of food daily," one woman said.

"So do whales and elephants.  If I had the budget the National Zoo has, all my people would be driving individual cars and we'd have another plane."

"That's not a bad point," the president admitted.

"And really, even if you kill them, not like you can sell the meat or anything like that, sir.  Even the companies who use horses for dog food wouldn't buy their meat.  All that leaves is a huge bonfire and you'll have protesters and PETA people screaming about it."

"They did get one of their friends in Congress to put forward a motion to put them on the endangered species list," the female DNR representative said.

"Then that seems the least harmful way to dealing with the issue," Danny told her.  "Some may fuss because some species of them eat meat, but they're not particularly mentally wound well in my opinion."

"What about your unicorns?"

"I'm not going to put up with forty pouty slayers here, another three in LA, and the rest in Cleveland if we would put them into a zoo.  They're pets.  One even snuck into the infirmary to sleep with some of our injured people a few weeks back."  The president did snicker at that.  "The girls and Agent Harris built them a great, open area barn and a little fenced in area so they had their own space we wouldn't fertilize or put things on.  Beyond that, they're apparently sentient.  They do answer yes/no questions when the right ones are asked, depending on if they like whoever's asking.  Shocked the local sheriff nearly to death when one answered the question he was asking an agent."  He leaned back and clasped his hands on his stomach.  "Make dragons goodwill gifts to some of the countries that might like them, sir."

"I might do that.  What about a nature preserve?"

"There's not enough nature for them to go back to unless they're going to Africa," the DNR Rep said dryly.

"Good to know.  Can we tell breeding pairs?"

"Not fully.  I can tell which ones are male and female but we have no idea if they mate for life like wolves and other mammals do or not.  Right now, I'm going on the assumption that the one that keeps eating the most is getting fatter because she's pregnant.  She's a herbivore type though so not that big of a problem.  We only have about a dozen meat eaters.  Not that big of a problem really."

"That's excellent news," the Homeland director said sarcastically.  "How long do we think they'll live?"

"Probably longer than we will," she admitted.  "Then again, zoos are used to those sort of issues.  Sea tortoises live to be over two hundred in captivity."

"Fine, I'll talk to the other heads of state, see if they'd like some and if they can take a few off our hands.  How many species are we looking at?"

"At least four distinct kinds.  As for individual breeds?  Could be as many as twelve.  No idea yet, sir."

"Daniel, anything in your library?"

"I'll ask Thomas.  Give me a second."  He put them on hold and called down there.  "Thomas, Daniel Jackson.  One of the DNR people wanted to know if we had anything on different breeds of the dragons?  Yeah, like American versus Asian or whatever.  We do?"  He smiled. "How clinical?"  He nodded once.  "I'll suggest that.  Thanks.  Please, just in case."  He hung up and switched back to the conference.  "We do but it's a mythology book written around 500 BCE."

"It could help.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Email me an address so we can make a copy and send it."

"I can do that."

"How did we get that book?" the President asked.

"The Watchers' library in the Caribbean had it, sir.  It came with the others, including the stranger books."

"Coming from you, that might be a bad sign," the DNR rep joked.

"Oh, I don't know.  We have the only example of smut written in Linear B."  She cackled at that.  "Honestly.  I was translating it for their head librarian and it was smut."  He smiled at Thomas when he walked in.  "It's on CD already?"

"Including illustrations.  We can send this copy to her.  Sam copied off the original."

"That'll work," she agreed.  "I'll email him an address in a few minutes.  Thank you."

"It's not a problem.  That's why we're putting them on DVD," Thomas assured her.  He looked at Daniel.  "I *do* have the right to swat those who eat in my library?"

"Unless they have a good reason and it doesn't go beyond swatting, I don't see a problem if Wesley doesn't."

He smirked.  "Thank you, Doctor Jackson."  He left, going to swat Sam until he quit nibbling while he studied.

"He sounds good," the president said.

"He's very good.  He was over the Caribbean library and had already started to put books on DVDs and CDs.  We're over two-sixth's done right now.  That'll make it a lot easier to share with the major metropolitan offices that're being set up in Miami, New York, and LA.  Plus our people when they're on the road."

"Good idea," he praised.  "Have you ever picked an assistant director, Daniel?"

"I have Tony, sir."

"That's not how it works, son.  This would keep DiNozzo and Harris from having to run things if you're off on assignment like the last time.  Who was the guy he was having dinner with anyway?"

"David Hodges, the local trace tech on CSI Sanders' shift.  He's been helping Abby with some of the research so Xander was trying to recruit him full time.  He was most amused at the thought he had bagged Xander.  Nearly rolled around on the floor from what I heard."

The president snorted.  "Find an AD, Jackson.  Set up an admin that can go on even if O'Neill gets you killed working with him on something special."

"Yes, sir.  You know, we are fighting about one of his guys."

"I heard," he said dryly.  "A lot.  Even from that pair of people."

"They do good work here.  If they want to leave their current project, we'd love to have them."

"If you can get them and Jack to agree, Daniel."  He cleared his throat.  "I think that's about all, people.  Have a good day.  Stay on, Daniel. You had a budget issue."

"Yes, sir," he sighed.  The others hung up.  "I did?"

"A small one.   Backpay for Harris?"

"I discovered an oversight.  Neither group he works for paid him.  We're still nagging Giles over that."

"I see.  What do you think sending some of them to Alpha site?"

Daniel cackled.  "I'd want to be there when you told Jack that idea, sir.  I really would.  In a corner, out of the way, but I want to be there."

"Vid conference us in," he said.  "Mine's broken."

Daniel dialed, getting Jack's assistant.  "The president wants him.  I've got him on video since his is down."

"We're having a slight issue, Doctor Jackson."

"Invasion?"

"Fussy Tok'ra."

"Tell Anise she's not allowed to get a bigger boob job," he said dryly.  The president cackled at that, shaking his head.  The assistant gave him a horrified look.  "It'll only take about ten.  Tell him if it's too bad, I'm sending him Xander."

"I can do that.  Give me a moment, Doctor Jackson."  He put him on hold and went to find his boss.  "Sir, Doctor Jackson and the President are on the vid link.  He said if this situation is too bad, he's sending you help in the form of Agent Harris and to deny her the right to more plastic surgery for her endowments."

Jack looked at him.  "That's a bad mental image.  Don't do that to me."  He went back to his office, taking it off hold.  "You have bad timing.  What's wrong now?  More mercy missions?"

Daniel pointed at the other screen.  "His is broken and we were just conferenced."

"Jack, what would you think about sending some of the remaining dragons to another planet?  Is there one that could sustain them?"

Jack gave him an odd look.  "Sir, are you high?" he asked calmly.  "If so, I'm going to forget this talk ever happened."  He hung up and walked off shaking his head.  Sam Carter caught him so he gave her a dirty look.  "The president wanted to know about sending some of the smoking bags of scales to other worlds.  He had Danny call.  Danny said if we're having issues he's sending us Xander Harris and someone should not get Anise more plastic surgery to give her bigger boobs.  Which one of those would you like to deal with, Captain?"

"D, none of the above, sir.  Because I still have sanity."

"Yay you.  Go to Atlantis.  That'll fix that oversight since all the crap we saw on our team didn't."

"Yes, sir.  I heard they could use some help."  She went to pack and help.  McKay would drive her nuts but oh well.

Jack went to tell Sam's father Jacob, who was a host to a Tok'ra named Selmak the joke the president had made.  "Jacob."  He looked up and smiled.  "The president made a joke.  He wanted to send some of the scaly things off world."

Jacob burst out laughing.  "That is a good one!"  He walked off laughing to find his daughter.  Anise huffed behind him but he wasn't in the mood for her either.

Jack stopped him on the way.  "Danny said to not let her back here if she's back for more plastic surgery," he said quietly, getting a louder laugh.  "And if it's that big of a problem he's lending us Harris."

"I don't think we need him.  You're usually good enough."  He gave him a pat on the arm and walked past his friend, going to find his daughter and share the joke.  That was funny.

***

Daniel looked around his staff area.  "Guys."  They all looked at him, Danny Messer putting someone on hold.  "A few things.  The dragons are going to zoos."  That got some smiles.  "The president wants me to name an assistant director so we don't overwork Tony or Xander.  Xander, you're never allowed to go on vacation with Sam or Dean ever again.  So if we know a good AD candidate, let me know."  He walked off again.  "Have a better day."

"Sure," Xander called, waving a hand weakly.  "We need an assistant director?"

"Maybe someone to handle things while he's gone in case we got another mass issue," Tony said.

"Could be helpful in case you go back there again."

"Not my fault," Tony quipped.  "They liked me."

"Maybe.  I'm not sure why you stayed though."

"Thomas is looking into it with Wesley.  Reports?"  Xander groaned and tossed his over, letting Tony catch it.  "Gee, thanks."

"Welcome."

He looked at the front page.  "Typos?"

Xander grimaced.  "It has so many demon words I can't spell check it."

"I'll proof it and hand it back," Tony promised, doing that for him.  Then he tossed it back so he could correct it.  Danny Messer hung up with whoever he had been talking to.  "Case?"

"Wonderful cases," Danny said dryly.  "Don and I were asked to a negotiation to keep things fair and even."

"Take Mac," Tony said.  "He needs the experience."  That got a nod and Danny went to tell Mac.  "I guess the AD will be doing that stuff."

"Let's hope he's an english major with a sense of humor then," Xander said dryly, cracking a few of the guys up.  "I suck at this."

"You do not," Tony said firmly.  "You're better now than you were your first week."

"That's not saying much, Tony."

"It is too.  Quit fussing."

"Yes, Tony."  He sighed and got back to work, finding a few demon names he had misspelled too.  Yup, his week was winning the sucking stakes already.

***

Later that night, Danny bowed to the demon who had called for help.  "You sent for me?" he asked in the demon's language.  The demon babbled and he had to hold up a hand.  "I'm still learning, Pack Leader.  Please, slow down and use simple words?"

The demon smiled and nodded, bowing at Mac, only a bit less and said something to Danny about him, pointing at him.  "I'm his partner, Mac Taylor," he said in English.  "I'll be learning your language soon I'm sure."

The demon looked at Danny and babbled something and to Danny it sounded right so he nodded.  "Yeah, we work together and he's on my team."  The demon beamed and led them into the meeting room, telling the others they were still learning the native language but they would help them all they could and call in someone if they didn't understand.  "We can call Wesley or Xander if we need a better translation," Danny promised.  They all nodded and got down to negotiating hunting territories.

They didn't eat or harm humans so having DCIS there was a good ploy to keep things civil and keep one of the other packs from killing them for the best hunting areas.  Someone tried anyway and Mac was there with his gun, Danny right behind him.  The two demons bursting in with machine guns were instantly sorry until they died.  Danny held up a gun.  "Where did they get these?" Danny asked in their language.  They all gave him odd looks.  "Xander's team handles gun cases.  I need to know if we already know about them."  Their pack leader shook his head slowly.  "Then I will want to look into him, make sure he sells legitimately and not to gangs, not to thugs, and not to terrorists."

The demon bowed his head, nodding at the table.  "I will tell you," he promised.

"Thank you."  He sat down and looked at Mac.  "Sit.  The mothers of the clans will gather them for us so they're prepared as warriors should be."  The pack leaders smiled at that and two females came in to wail and moan while they gathered their demons to be taken away.  He looked at the others.  "I'm sorry they had plans that were not in accordance with peaceful relations," he said formally.  The demons all smiled.  "I'm also sorry if I mangled that."

The local pack leader waved it off.  "It was a good translation."  He looked at the map again, pointing at an area then at that pack leader's embarrassed look.  "You take that one.  You don't have as many to feed now."

"We have the hatcheries."

"Are they active?" Mac asked.  The demons all nodded slowly.  "Then why not put them on neutral territory and all of you guard them together in teams made up of each pack represented?"

The pack leaders looked at each other then nodded, giving the hatcheries a good area to be rested in.  It was quickly agreed that their second best guards would be going now and then they'd hold contests for the right to serve.  It was a good idea from the humans.  Which was surprising since they didn't lay eggs.

***

John stopped Dawn from going to bed that night.  "We should talk, young lady."

"What did I do this time?"

He stared her down then walked her off to somewhere the other girls couldn't overhear.  "You're fairly mature and I've noticed you've set your sights pretty high recently."

"I've actually got a short list of men I'd like to be mine in a semi-permanent way but I'm not ready for that yet.  I haven't even dated a normal boy.  How will I know that I'm not going to freak out and become obsessive or clingy?  Or that I'm just bad in bed?"  She smirked, patting him on the arm.  "Let me see how I am at dating first and finish finding myself then I'll work on attracting a mate worthy of my beauty, grace, and intelligence."

"And if he wants you to be a bit more pure?"

"None of my choice are that picky, John.  Really.  And hey, once I start dating, I might find I like something different than I think.  I don't know yet but all my men are trophy worthy and I need to practice hunting before I bag me an elk that I'll stuff and mount."

He smirked at that analogy.  "That's not a bad plan.  You might make it a bit less obvious though."

She snorted.  "Who said I was being obvious?"

"You were staring a lot at Wesley earlier."

"No, I was listening and thinking in that general direction.  Wesley's too old for me."

John leaned down a bit to get into her face.  "I know where you came from, Dawn Summers," he said quietly.

She smirked.  "I may partially be a centuries old artifact of immense power that helped kickstart civilization but I'm also seventeen, John.  When it's time, I'll announce that I'm hunting in my own unique way.  Like Xander would want me to."  He nodded at that.  "Speaking of, how's the daughter?"

"She caught a cold but she's fine."

"Good."  She strolled off.  "Have a better night."

"You too.  Anna's back in bed."

"I saw earlier.  I gave her my science textbook when she asked for it."  She waved.  "Night."

"Night," he called back.

Dean came out of the shadows.  "How high is she going to reach?"

"I don't know.  I think one of you is on her list.  I know she used to crush on Xander but now they're family more than anything else."  Dean snorted, shaking his head.  "She and Sammy might be good together."

"She drives him nuts now and then."

"Your mother did the same thing to me," John admitted, shaking his head.  "When we first got together, she was a lot more wild than I was.  Drove me nuts watching her flirt to make me jealous."  Dean gaped at him.  He nodded.  "Mary could be like that sometimes."

"I never thought Mom could flirt with anyone."

John smiled.  "She was good at it.  That's how she bagged me."  He walked off, going to do a bed check.  Brenda got handed a roll of toilet paper since she was sneezing but she just smiled weakly and blew her nose.  He went to check on Annabelle, taking the textbook from her since she was asleep.  The older girls got shooed to bed.  "You have school tomorrow."  They groaned but quit playing whatever online game they were doing and headed up to their rooms.  The one fourteen-year-old girl that had come from Iraq put down her languages book.  "You should ask Sammy, Daniel, or one of the Watchers if you're interested in languages.  Daniel speaks about twenty-six of them."

She smiled.  "I may do that.  We do have college funds?"

"You do.  Wesley and Xander made sure of it," he promised.  "They're in a special fund.  Giles doesn't know where it is and that's the problem he had with that one girl starting school recently.  It's been fixed."

She nodded.  "Thank you, John."  She headed up to her room, going to think about that.  It was a good skill to have and there were a lot of demon languages.  Someone always needed translators.  She probably couldn't be like Doctor Jackson since he had been a prodigy but she could be good at it.

John heard giggling so he went to knock on Kim and Amber's door to make them quit and go to sleep.  "You two have classes tomorrow too."

"Yes, John," they called back, still giggling.

"Sleep, ladies.  Sometime soon or be quieter."  He walked off shaking his head but smiling.  They were cute together.  Very cute together.

***

Xander looked up as Danny and Mac came back the next day, talking to their friends about their last case.  He heard a strange word and looked over.  "Repeat that please?"

"That's the word they used for partners."

"No, that's the word they use for husband."  Mac went pale.  "Say it like they said it."

Danny repeated that and his answer that Mac was his partner, he worked on his team.  "They were very nice about it."

Don Flack groaned.  "That's a bad thing?"

"Could be," Xander admitted.  "Let me call Connor, see if some of his contacts can unkink that issue quickly.  Before it's a well-known fact."  He called him.  "Hey, Crissy, it's Xander.  I need you and Connor to do some damage control.  Messer and Taylor were negotiating with the....  Yeah, that situation.  No, Taylor's not his husband.  Flack would be that close, not Taylor."  He winced.  "Really?"  He groaned.  "Sure, let them know if you can, but be subtle.  He tried to tell them he was on their team.  I know, it can get them attacked, thanks, Crissy.  Sure, tell me whatever comes of it."  He hung up and leaned back to look at that trio.  "Bad news first.  They threw you a wedding party."  Danny moaned and slumped.  "Good news is that they'll accept you have two mates because they're like that.  You can have one for work and one for pleasure."

Flack snorted.  "Not cute."

Xander shook his head.  "They threw a demon bar network-wide party that someone here was gay and married.  Since we weren't announcing it or celebrating it."

"So everyone thinks I took Mac as my husband?"

"Yes.  And the knowledge that you're in a relationship, because they all thought you and Flack were together years ago when he first showed up, means that Mac's your second husband, but you need to be seen with Flack pronto."

"We'll go clubbing tonight," Danny said, giving Don a look.

"Works for me," Don agreed.  "Sorry, Mac."

"Not a problem.  I've heard this happens when you're unfamiliar with the language."

"I'm at the first year level," Danny defended.  "So's Xander."

"I am," Xander agreed.  "It'll work itself out.  Go celebrate the real relationship and Mac can be seen as your work husband."  They nodded, going to let the boss know while Xander got back to work.  Crissy called a few hours later to update him.  He smiled as he took notes, handing them over to Danny by turning them into a paper airplane.

Daniel walked out, looking at the guys.  "Don't feel bad.  That's how I got Sha're."  He got some coffee and walked off again.  "What do we need in an AD?"

"An english major with a sense of humor is my suggestion," Xander called.  "Someone who can handle contract issues too."

"That reminds me, I have to see who has one coming up," Daniel muttered, going back to his office.  What he found was amusing.  He headed down to the infirmary, watching House throw a fit at Chase.  "This is probably a bad time for this," he said, interrupting the fit.  House looked at him.  "Weren't you supposed to find your replacement before you left?"

House moaned.  "Shit."

"Basically."  He grinned at Chase.  "I was checking contract dates and yours ends in a month, guys."

"I'll start the hunt tonight," House said.

"Or ...." Daniel pressed.

"We can't leave them without anyone," Chase said.

House gave him a dirty look.  "Is that a statement of intent?"

"I'm not sure yet.  I was going to wait and see what's going on with our friends."

"George might eat Cameron."  He walked back into the office and slammed the door shut.

Daniel winced.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem.  He's been in a foul mood all day since our friends are coming out later today."  He checked his watch.  "Let me head that way to pick them up."  He winked and went to check out a sedan from the motor pool, heading to the airport.

Daniel leaned into the office.  "So, what do we really need in a doctor?"

"Me," he admitted, looking up.  "Someone who can deal with strange cases and trauma cases."

"If we had to, we can do you like we do with our profiler.  Have you on call for us."

"That might not be so bad.  Let me look for people who can handle the other stuff.  Shoo.  Go."

"Chase just left."

"He'll make it in plenty of time I'm sure," he said dryly.  "Shoo."

"Going."  He left, going back to his office to check the other contracts.  He pulled out standard ones for the ones that had run out, going to drop copies off on desks.  Speed moaned at his.  "Yours runs out next week.  Ryan's already ran out."

"Crap," he said, reading it over and signing it.  He handed it back.  "Wolfe's in the field in town.  That witch came back doing bad things.  Dawn called him," he said at the amused look Xander gave him.

"Why?"

"Because she was going to swat the girl into a wall and embed her if Ryan didn't come chastise her like the little bitch she was," Speed said dryly.  "That's a direct quote.  He took H so they could have lunch with Alexx."

"Have fun with that," Xander said dryly.  "She's a selfish little brat."

"We heard," Speed assured him.

Xander looked at the contract then at him.  "I make that much?"

Daniel looked then nodded.  "Yes, you do, whenever you cash them."  Xander pulled out his paystub and held it up.  "Okay, that's an oversight.  Why was I paying you as one of the maintenance guys?"

"Maybe because I did so much of it?" Xander teased.

"I'll fix that this payday, Xander."  He went to check his payroll records and fix that.  In the comment section he noted that the original pay rate had been in under the wrong code.  The system accepted it and listed him as an agent but a flag came up saying he didn't have the right security codes.  Daniel did that paperwork, which did annoy him.  The system wouldn't accept it.  He called his boss in Homeland.  "Sir, do you have about ten minutes?"  He leaned back to listen to him complain.  "No, I had a small budgetary oversight.  Someone set Agent Harris' payrate at that of a maintenance guy.  I fixed that and a flag came up about his security rating.  I did try that.  The system won't take it."  He listened to him get into it.

The boss growled at it.  "I don't know why but Xander's already pretty aware of a lot of classified materials.  After all, he helped bring down the Initiative.  His friend Willow is a hacker."  He nodded, checking something.  "The payrate got switched back too."  The head of Homeland looked at that.  "Really?"  He smirked.  "I'll handle that, sir, if you could fix it?"  He nodded.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called out there.  "Buffy, are you in sight of Willow?  Because whatever she's doing is screwing with Xander's security rating and his payrate.  He's been dropped about thirty thousand a year thanks to her meddling and they do know it's her."

She screamed at Willow, starting on a good rant.  Willow tried to defend herself but it wasn't going to work this time.  Buffy was in a mood and Willow was making them all look bad.  "What was she trying to do?" he asked over the yelling.  Buffy huffed and told him.  "Uh-huh.  Okay."  He nodded once at the coming in of Giles to tell them to stop it.  Buffy told him why and he moaned then yelled at Willow himself.  "That's a nice change.  Tell him Xander's still not being paid by the Council.  Then have them call me back later to tell me it was fixed."  He hung up.  "Xander, Willow was trying to fix her security rating and screwed up yours," he called.

"Of course she did," Xander called back.  "Because we've been friends forever."  He walked the contract in and looked at the system then got into it and fixed a few things.  When he was done it was fixed.  He locked it.  Then he grinned at Daniel.  "I've had enough."

"You gave yourself a security rank raise?" he asked dryly.

"I deserve the raise with as much classified stuff I run into.  By the way, we need to bring Gibbs on my new case.  It's classified military weapons leaks."  He walked off.  "They still might not let me into the lab."

"Do what you can."

"Explosives?"

"Not unless absolutely necessary.  You know that," Daniel reminded him.  Xander giggled, heading out to find Gibbs.  Daniel shook his head, reloading his profile.  It was fixed.  He had kept the security rating.  He looked at Willow's and fixed hers down where it should be.  A bit lower than Xander's was when he joined the agency.  Then he locked that one the same way Xander had.  His boss called.  "Sir, I talked to the hacker's best friend, who was screaming at her."  He smiled.  "No, I let Xander fool with the system and he locked it.  Hopefully that will fix it.  No, he said he had to.  He's got classified military weapons being leaked as his current case, sir.  Exactly.  Actually, I think he said he was going to bring Gibbs this time.  Just in case.  No, not that sort of just in case, sir.  Thank you."  He hung up and reloaded it.  Still there.  He called Cleveland.  "Take her computer from her, Buffy.  Tell her she's grounded until the agents come for her."  He hung up on Buffy screaming at that.  Pity.  She shouldn't be hacking anyone.

***

Xander found Gibbs going over demonology with Sam.  "I've got to borrow him for a few days for a case, guys."

"Need the girls too?" Sam asked.

"Classified military weapons," Xander told him.

Gibbs gave him a horrified look.  "Leaked?"

"Bought.  Leaked somewhere.  Not sure where yet.  I'm still working on that but one of the arms dealers I've dealt with in the past just emailed me that he got offered a classified military weapon in testing.  The guy wants to stay legit and does hunter's weapons so I'm letting him stay free for now as long as he turns in the worst things coming out or if anyone's looking for real artillery."

"That makes sense," Gibbs agreed, standing up.  "When are we going?"

"We're going to Cleveland.  Later this afternoon probably.  Shouldn't take more than a few days at the most, I hope."  He walked off.  He had a bad feeling about this case.  Not a world ending, needed artillery one, but a 'he'd do something stupid' one.  He went back to talk to Daniel.  "I have a bad feeling but not an oh shit, hand me the grenade launcher type."

Daniel looked up.  "Is it because it's Cleveland?"

"Could be," Xander admitted.  "Could also be that I'll end up having to do something.  I'm not sure yet."

"Try very hard to play within the rules, Xander.  You know them."

"I know.  I also know that with having to do that and the dragon thing, I've gotten a bit too much attention."

"True.  Train someone to go on gun cases with you."

"We don't have anyone."

"I do know guns," Taylor called.

"This leads into artillery," Xander called.

"That I don't know as much about."

"I do," Tony called.

"Good, you can keep me in line since we're going to Cleveland.  Gibbs is coming too since it's classified military weapons."

"Look respectable," Tony ordered.  "No messy t-shirts this time, Xander."

"I know," he sighed, going to pack decent clothes.  Tony went to do the same.  They came back to go over what they had.  Then they left.

***

Gibbs walked into the store, looking at the mess.  "Is this normal?"

"No," Xander said, pulling his gun, walking back toward the back of the store.  "Hajid?" he called.  "It's Xander!"  Someone came out of the back and he pulled his gun up.  "Who the fuck are you?"

"Sir, Cleveland PD, put it down," he snapped back.

"DCIS," Xander countered, pulling out his ID.  His gun lowered.  "The owner of the shop called me because he got offered classified weapons."

The cop gave him an odd look.  "The guy's a demon?"

Xander looked.  "That's not Hajid.  That's his son-in-law, who is human.  Where's the greenish guy with the scaley back fin?"

"Um....  We only see him, sir."

Xander sighed and went into the office, tapping in the vault code key.  "He supplies the Council," he said at the odd look.  He found his daughter cowering in there and hauled her up.  "Heja, it's Xander," he said quietly, making her look up at him.

"Xander!" she said, flinging herself at him.  "Someone came after Father and they shot my mate."

"I know.  The CPD are here.  Who was it?"

"I don't know.  I don't know where Father is."

"Did you get him that special bracelet?"  She sniffled and went to check his desk, finding it gone.  She turned on the computer monitor and found the note someone had written.  "Xander!" she squealed.  He came over to look, letting Tony handle the cop.  He nodded as he read.  "What do I do?"

"Go to your mother's clan.  Have her shelter you for now.  Tell them why."  She gave him a horrified look.  "They could come after your father's clan if they know about them," he said calmly.

"I cannot.  It's a breach."

Xander pointed at the phone.  "Call, let me talk to them."  The cop and Tony came in so he pointed at the monitor.  "I'm getting her a safe hiding spot."  He listened to the gruff voice.  "This is Xander Harris in on a DCIS case.  Hajid was just taken, Heja's husband was just killed.  If they're going after his clan, she needs a safer spot to hide.  I know.  That's what she said as well.  She's a widow now though."  He nodded.  "We're working on finding her father.  What if they come after his clan?  The note they left said they were."  He nodded.  "Can she come visit her mother for a few days?  That wouldn't be against the rules, would it?"

He smiled. "Her mother should hear from her what happened.  I can have her escorted.  Where to?"  He pulled out some paper and wrote on it.  "I can ask one of the girls to.  Thank you."  He hung up and used his cell to call Caridad.  "It's Xander.  I need one of the girls to escort a young woman to safety with her mother.  It's a DCIS case and her husband was killed.  At Hajid's shop.  Thanks, Caridad.  That'd be great actually."  He hung up.  "Caridad is coming to take you to visit your mother."  She relaxed.  "Now, tell Tony what happened this morning so he can translate?"  She nodded, taking him off to tell him with the cop.  He looked at Gibbs.  "He has a GPS monitor on him but I'm not sure what his code is."

"We can get it off the computer," Tony called.  He came over to do that, opening a new screen.  They got it and wrote it down, letting Xander and Gibbs translate it on the map on the wall she showed them.  Then they went back to helping her.

Caridad showed up and Xander went out to get her let in.  "She's escorting the witness to safety, guys," he said, holding up his badge.  They all blinked.  "You guys weren't here when we showed up.  Hey, Officer, are these your people?"

He looked.  "Yes, sir."

"That's fine."  He walked Caridad inside, letting Heja hug her.  "Her father called to tell me he got offered classified weapons."  Caridad nodded.  "She's *visiting* her mother to let her hear the bad news in person."  He handed over the note.  "She goes there."

"I can do that, Xander.  Thank you."  She walked the young lady off.  "If they come after me, I get to beat them up.  It'll be good for me since I didn't get to spank Willow earlier for hacking Xander's records in Homeland Security's computer," she said in the girls' native language, getting a laugh and a nod.  "Come on.  It's a short cab ride."  She took her to get a cab.

Xander looked at the officer coming in.  "I've respected the crime scene."

"Good.  Who are you?"

"Harris, that's DiNozzo, DCIS."  The man moaned.  "Gibbs is ISC personnel but former NCIS since the victim's father-in-law called me about someone offering him classified military weapons."

"Charming.  Is the victim a demon?"

"No.  He married into the clan.  We've already gotten a statement from his wife and I sent her off to safety since whoever did it took her father."  That got a nod.

"Looks like we're sharing a case," Tony told them.  "Though, not like the FBI shares.  We're only here about the weapons and if you guys can't make it stick sine he's from a demon clan, we can."

"Good to know, sir."

"DiNozzo.  Senior agent, DCIS."

"They sent out the heavy hitters."

Xander grinned.  "I get sent on all the weapons cases."

"Ah."  He nodded and they got to work on the scene while the agents looked in the desk.  The CSI looked up.  "Is this a legitimate weapons dealer in your world?"

Xander nodded.  "He sells to hunters and keeps his nose clean.  Anything too bad he warns us about so we leave him alone."

"Good to know.  Hunters?"

"There's still demon hunters," Tony told him with a small grin.  "Sometimes they do things the slayers can't."

"Even better.  Who walked the victim's wife off?  The line guard said she was female."

"One of the slayers," Xander told him.

He sighed.  "So we're going to run into them?"

"Slayers are meant to hunt and take down the things threatening people," Xander told him.  "DCIS takes down those things that are cases, not vampires, not sudden attacks.  We handle it if demons start it, or if humans do."  That got a slow nod.  "We're the ones keeping the border between the two worlds solid."

"I can understand that.  So the girls hunt the spur of the moment or the bad problems and you guys handle the big things?"  Tony nodded.  "And this other person?"

"A watcher in training," he admitted.  "Nineteen years at NCIS, another twenty as a Marine."

"Ah!  Wow, that's a high level to hit for new hires."

"We prefer someone with some experience in hunting," Xander told him.  "Either a history or training as a hunter or training as an officer or agent.  That way they understand why we have to do it and the methods that work best.  Gibbs is overqualified but the girls love him for being grumpy."

The CSI smiled and nodded.  "That's good to know."  He found something like a scale.  "Is this reasonable for this location?"

Tony came over to look, squatting down.  "No.  His clan's demons have a blue/green, closer to green, color on their scales and a back fin."

"I've seen him.  He's a nice guy.  Always buys bagels at the corner shop every Friday," the CSI said.

Xander nodded.  "That's Hejid."

"Then this blue one isn't their species?"

"No, and we have the charts with us once you have the chemical analysis to tell us what sort it is," Xander told him.

The CSI smiled.  "I heard your lab people worked on that."

"Abby works her little heart out on that," Xander agreed.  "Along with a lot of our CSIs helping her."  That got a nod and they got done, heading back to the office to go over the evidence while Xander went to talk to a few of the other dealers he knew in town.  Buffy came to help him since she didn't know who to go to for weapons.  Xander gave her an odd look when she showed up.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Giles said I had to find out who we buy weapons from."

"That's fine."  He pointed.  "This is Hejid's brother, Raul.  He's a very nice demon.  Hejid does a lot more esoteric weapons.  Raul does more standard crossbows and things."  She smiled at that, coming over to look.  He looked at him.  "I suggested his daughter go to visit her mother to tell her she was a widow and why since the threat said they might come after your clan," he said quietly.

"I understand why.  It's a good reason.  They agreed with it."  He leaned on the counter.  "Do we have any idea?"

"The local CSI are working under Tony's careful watch.  Gibbs is also here.  Do you know who was offering the weapon?"

"No.  I wish I did.  I know he doesn't leave notes like that and he didn't leave a letter for you.  He would have if he had known they might come."

"I understand.  Thank you, Raul.  Is there anyone I should ask?"

"Not off the top of my head.  He was seeing someone regularly but I think it's a therapist."

Buffy looked at him.  "You guys use therapists?"

He nodded.  "The stress of the family and business even gets to our kind."

"Wow.  That's pretty cool."  He smiled so she grinned.  "We should talk to them."

"The base shrink is open to you guys too," Xander reminded her.

"Good point."  She smiled and bopped him on the arm.  "When do I get to do more than say hi to Gibbs?"

"Call him.  He's local.  Maybe after the case he'll pop around."

"Sure.  Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome.  Did you guys hear anything?"

"No.  I was on patrol last night and I didn't hear a thing."  She pouted.  "They'd usually brag."

"I have the feeling whoever's got the weapon he wanted heard he had called," he admitted.  "Okay, let me go talk to a few others in the clan."

Raul smiled.  "I'll warn them you're coming.  Give Agent Messer our clan's blessings on his new relationship."

"I will, but Mac's more working his way in slowly.  He and Flack have been together for a  while."

"Many demon clans do accept dual spouses.  Flack has his heart but it was clear Taylor held him steady and tended to be a bit dominant with him."

Xander giggled.  "Now and then he tries really hard.  He even tried to out-macho me."  The demon laughed at that.  "New guy syndrome.  But I can like Mac.  So we're seeing.  They're giving it a trial."  That got a nod and a bright smile.  "I'll pass that on though."  They shook hands and he left, Buffy following him.  He called the base.  "Danny, I was told to pass on congratulations for your trial relationship with Mac because it was clear he held you steady and you were wearing down his dominant issues.  That most clans would respect a second relationship."  He smiled.  "From one of the arms dealers.  Tell Jackson my source was taken and his son-in-law was dead when we got here."  He nodded.  "Good.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to talk to a few other sources he had within the clan and the other dealer clans in town.  Buffy followed to meet them.  She needed to know who to shop with.  They all agreed that was fine and let her browse while they talked to him.  She wasn't being nosy, just overprotective like usual.  They all knew that about her.

***

Xander walked into the lab with Buffy behind him. "Mom, I grew a shadow," he said when he ran into Tony.

He looked behind him.  "Hi, Buffy."

"I wanted to see if I could talk to Gibbs sometime soon."

"Sure.  He's in the break room," he said with a point.  She went that way.  "Find anything from the other dealer clans?"

"The person who offered it to him is a halfling and not one of the dealer clans.  He's a half water demon working in the lab.  They didn't know his name or if he was the direct access or not.  They knew he had come up to make the offer, and they thought it was because Hejid would deal better with another demon."

"Okay," Tony agreed.  "Which lab?"  He handed that note over.  "Interesting.  Can we get their lists?"

"I called and got laughed at," he sighed.

"Gibbs won't be."

"No, he won't be.  Which is why I brought him."

"Good point."  He went to hand it to Gibbs.  "The lab it's coming out of.  We know it's a half-demon, but otherwise we don't have a clue."  He handed over the note.

Gibbs looked then nodded.  "I can do that."  He settled in to call over there.  "This is Gibbs, yes, formerly Special Agent Gibbs.  I'm helping DCIS since it was reported that a demonic arms dealer was offered a classified military weapon from your lab.  So far, no one's totally sure of the source, Margaret.  We do know a half-demon from your lab was doing the offering.  Harris is one of us.  Yes, he is.  Yes, the one on TV with the dragons."  He rolled his eyes.  "Please.  Because the dealer they were offering to is gone and one of his clan was killed.  If you do know.  DiNozzo, what type of demon?"

"Half water demon of some sort."

"Half water demon.  Thank you.  Cleveland, at the lab.  Send it to DiNozzo at DCIS in email format.  He can get it here.  Thank you, Margaret.  We might be local and we'll see about dinner."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  I'll let you know."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Give her twenty to get into personnel records."

"That's fine, boss.  Thanks."  He walked off.  "Xander, we're getting personnel records."

"That's cool.  Anything else good?"

"The scale came back to a Forenth.  He was in there buying a shotgun the other day."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "I know, that's strange to me too.  I don't know why.  They're generally peaceful and don't eat meat.  I'm hoping they have a rat problem."

"Hey, Buffy?"  She came out of the break room with Gibbs behind her.  "Take him down and see why a Forenth was buying a shotgun?"

"Which one are they?"

"Big, blue, hairy scales," Tony told her.

"Peaceful, non meat eaters," Xander added.  "Like the thing Clem had the crush on."

"Oh, them.  Sure."  She nodded and Gibbs followed her.  This way she'd get to see what he was like in the field.  Only the best for the slayers after all.

Xander and Tony went to bother the CSI they were working with.  They got an odd look when Tony explained some of the results better but Xander's quip of 'I'm grunt support' made him smile.  Maybe he should have Abby or Speed teach him something about the lab work?  Nah, that'd mean homework and he sucked at homework.

***

Buffy looked over at Gibbs.  He was looking casually alert but every inch of his body was tense.  "Relax.  These guys are usually harmless," she told him.  "They're the pawn shop owners of the demon world.  I find a lot of great stuff with their clans and they tend to respect slayers."

"And if not?"

"Then I'm a slayer," she said dryly, giving him a look.  He snorted back.  "What?"

"Weapons?  A plan going in?"

"If it goes south, we get out of there with as little damage to ourselves as possible."  She walked in and smiled.  "Hi, guys."  They all glared at her.  "Do not start."  One muttered.  She crossed her arms over her chest, tapping a foot.  That one wilted.  "Xander's in on a DCIS case and he had a question.  He sent me since he and the Tony hottie are stuck in the lab."  They all snickered at that.  "They are."

"Harris, in a lab?" one snorted.

"Yes, and remember, Dawn had to get the nice CSI out of him about a year after he joined," she said smugly.  They all stared.  She nodded.  "He was doing a case in Miami and sucked up Speedle at the same time he hired Ryan apparently.  Dawn sneezed him out and up a new body."  They all gave her an awed look.  "No telling what he learned from him.  Though, less ugly shirts so that's nice."  She smiled.  "The dead dealer demon earlier?  Xander caught one of you guys buying a shotgun and he wanted to make sure it wasn't going to turn into a case since he knows you guys are usually harmless."  She looked at the one who shifted.  "That's Gibbs, he's a new Watcher trainee.  He's also a Marine and a former agent himself.  At least until his director went wacky.  He used to boss the Tony hottie around."

"You're the one he got the head smacks from," one told him.  Gibbs nodded, looking amused.  "Good job with him.  He could be as bad as Harris."  He looked at Buffy.  "Is Harris having visions?"

She frowned.  "He's a seer?  I thought that was bleedover from Sammy during the dream thingies the bastard demon gave them."

"Nope," that demon told her.  "And by the way, there's another player."

"That we figured.  Is the Homeland guy with the new plan or the old one?"  They all shrugged.  "We'll figure it out.  If I have to, I'll send Rona to go nag someone."  She waved a hand and grinned.  "Now, shotgun?"

The demon said something then cleared his throat.  "Rat problem, dear.  Don't worry about it."

"You shot your ex-wife?" Gibbs asked.  The demon stared in awe.  "Sam made me learn it."  He moved forward.  "No divorce?"

"She was sleeping with my son.  I got both of them."

"Do we have to call Xander?" she asked him.

"No, she's gone and my son's been shipped off to marry something less than decent and unholy so he figures out how stupid he was," the father admitted.

"Her clan's not going to press charges.  We told them why and they said he was very restrained," the clan leader told her.

She nodded.  "I'll let him know.  Warn us, guys.  Please?"  They all nodded at that.  "Any idea on Xander's case about who shot the dealer clan's member?"  They all stared.

"Hejid's son-in-law was shot in their store earlier.  His wife's visiting her mother since her father's still missing," Gibbs told them.

The clan leader stood up.  "The half water demon in the lab offered them a weapon from a friend of theirs.  He was a go-between.  We don't know what type yet but Hejid was seen out on the High Cliffs Road area earlier."

Buffy beamed.  "Alive?"

He nodded.  "When my daughter paused to ask him if he wanted a ride."

"I'll let Xander know."  She called him.  "It's me.  One of the demons here said they saw the dealer demon out on High Cliffs Road earlier."  She beamed.  "Thanks.  Oh, and the weapon came from a friend of the half water demon."  She hung up and looked at him.  "He said thank you.  He likes Hejid."

"He should with some of the things he used to buy from him," the clan leader said.  He smiled.  "Want to see our newest slimy ones?"

"Babies?" she asked with a grin.  He nodded, leading her to see them.  The two in the playpen cooed up at her.  "Aww, adorable little slimy things.  I'd pick you up but Annabelle can't get your sort of slime out of shirts."  Gibbs handed over his overshirt.  "Thanks, Gibbs."  She put it on then picked up the baby to hold.  "Aww, aren't you so adorable!" she cooed.  It reached for her nose.  "I know you don't have one of those but I need it to breathe, sweetie."  She kissed it on the head and picked up the pouting one, making it smile back.  "So cute!"  The baby beamed at her so she put it back.  "Good job.  They're adorable!"  She punched the leader on the arm.  "Anything the girls should hear?"

"Not yet.  Though you might ask Harris to look in on the bastard rat demon clans.  They're massing."

"Shouldn't that be our job?" she asked.

"They plan to take down the power grid so they can feed."

"We'll play poker for that one," she decided, making them laugh.  "Thanks, guys."  She walked out, handing Gibbs back his shirt.  He had done pretty good.  A bit uptight but he was used to expecting an attack.  She punched him on the arm too, making him rub the newly sore spot.  "You did good, Gibbs.  Want to go back to the house for now?"

"You guys are crowded in.  Xander said I could have a motel room."

"The girls will want to meet you."  She pouted a bit.  "Plus we can offer dinner and Giles not being nosy."

"Let me call in."

She waved a hand.  "Let me."  She called Xander back.  "It's me.  Yes it's important.  I'm taking Gibbs home for dinner and the nice demons said that the rat demon clans were massing to take out the power grid.  They thought it was your sort of case since they were going to do it so they could nibble.  And they had adorable babies!"  She beamed.  "I can do that.  Thanks, Xander."  She put her arm through his and walked him off.  "Fortunately we don't live that far away.  Most slayers can't drive."

"I'll be teaching my girls," he told her.

She shrugged.  "Plenty of us would use the car to hit the demons, Gibbs.  I only pay attention to the sidewalks and the driver's ed instructor was not happy."

"We'll make sure they can do both," he promised.  He was smiling in spite of his good intentions.  The girl was nice enough he guessed.  A bit strange.  A bit of an airhead.  They got back to the slayers house and the girls pounced to tell Buffy reports and babble at him.  He had to hold up a hand.  "One at a time to me, girls.  I can't understand you."  They all pouted but went slower this time.  He got dragged off to the kitchen but that was fine.  The others were going over scouting reports.  He nodded politely at Giles.  "Mr. Giles."

"Which one are you again?"

"Gibbs.  Watcher in Training."

"Oh, yes.  Wesley told me."  He shook his hand.  "They're excited so I'd hide from the babbling going on."

"It means they're happy," Gibbs countered.  Xander walked in the back door and nodded for him to come on.  "We heading to DC already?"

"The rat demons for the night.  Buffy, need two girls to go after the rat demons with us," he called.  She bounced back and brought two others with her.  "Thanks, dear.  Giles, I'll have them home at a sane hour."  They walked out together.  "Ladies, Gibbs is a Watcher.  Listen to him.  This is a DCIS case so that means slaying only when necessary.   You're here to help us subdue and make sure we can arrest them."

"Yes, Xander," they all sighed, shaking their heads.

Gibbs looked at them.  "That is the way the judicial system works."  They all nodded.  "Done this before?"

"Yup," two of the girls agreed.  "We were in Miami."

Xander grinned.  "Less hard than that.  Do we have an official complaint?"

"Um, verbal but not written?" Buffy said hesitantly.  "I didn't even think to get them to write one out, Xander."

"It should be enough.  I called our judge and he said it was.  If not, you girls can have it unless someone writes out a complaint."  They beamed and bounced off with him.  The rental SUV was a bit crowded but it happened.

***

Giles looked up as Buffy and the girls came back.  "No Gibbs?"

"He's showering.  Like we will be.  Did you know rat demons exploded with wood?" Buffy complained.  She went up to shower.  "I'll eat in a few minutes, Giles."  The other girls nodded as they trudged to their showers too.

Giles smiled at their backs.  "Did they arrest very many?"

"Over two hundred rat demons were going to rush a power plant.  Sixty gave up, forty went to attack," Rona told him, leaning around the doorway again.  "The rest got scared of Xander and begged.  Not even us, him."  He nodded at that.  "So we're nasty from the forty.  And there's a guy at the door, Giles."  She went back to her trudge to the shower.

Giles went to answer the door.  "Yes?  May I help you?" he asked.

"Rupert Giles?"  He nodded.  "I'm your landlord, son.  I came to make sure nothing too bad has happened recently."

"A few holes but we've found someone to fix them," he promised, letting him inside.  Wesley had mentioned the man had shown up a few times to inspect the property.  "Girls, the landlord's here," he shouted.  A few squeaked and went to hide.  "Sorry, they're being teenage girls."

"They can do that."  He looked at the messy living room.  "They can't clean up?"

Giles looked then sighed.  "I told them to earlier."

Buffy came bouncing down the stairs.  "Hi, Mr. Edwards.  Caridad!"  She came jogging down the stairs putting on a shirt.  "Cute," she said dryly.

"I was changing for patrol.  Hi, Mr. Edwards."  She gave him a hug.  "Yes, they're being slobs today but we've all told them to do their chores.  The two causing problems are about to be sent back to base if they're not going to behave.  I promise we'll have it fixed."

He smiled.  "I know you will, Caridad.  You're a good helper."  He patted her on the cheek.  "You called about the foundation cracking?"

"Out back," she said, leading him to show him that and the basement.  "I'm worried it'll start a bit of seeping.  I called Xander to ask since he had worked construction and he said it could.  I didn't want it to damage things."

"No, that's a  good thing," he promised.  "Stopping a problem early costs less."  He looked inside then at her.  "The slime on the wall?" he asked quietly.

"Probably the ones who just came in.  They're cleaning this Sunday even if I have to get Faith back here to make sure."  He smiled at that.  "How do we fix this?"

"This one should just need resealed."  He patted her on the back.  "I'll send someone to do that.  Any other repairs I should do?"

"No, the rest is our fault.  Well, except for a bedroom door and that was her fault really.  She was throwing a fit and slammed it."  He nodded at that.  "So we'll fix it."  He nodded, smiling at her.  "When is he coming so we can have someone here to deal with it beyond Mr. Giles?"

"I'll call and let you girls know."

"Sure."  She led him back to his car.  "You got the rent check all right?  It's the first month it got sent automatically."

"I did," he agreed happily.  "It's nice.  That way Wesley's not too distracted to send it."  She beamed at that.  "You're a good girl, Caridad."  He got into his car and headed off to call his handyman about that problem.

She bounced inside.  "He's having someone come to fix the crack in the foundation wall.  Also, he said to clean the place."  She glared at Buffy and pointed.  "He did notice."  She groaned, going to get a sponge.  "Don't make me call Faith back for a cleaning spree," she shouted.  "The landlord said we're pigs."  The girls all groaned and got to work cleaning things.

"Faith made them do chores?" Giles asked.  "That doesn't sound like her."

"Faith got tired of stepping on magazines and nearly took a crossbow to some of the younger girls who were being slobs," she told him.  "After the first time, it stopped."  He just nodded and went back to the kitchen.  "Anything left from dinner, Mr. Giles?"

"Yes but the three girls who were out get first pick, Caridad."

Buffy went to do that.  The other two too.  There wasn't enough so Buffy used her allowance to call out for pizza.  That made all the girls happy and the cleaning went better once music got turned on.  Giles shook his head.  Perhaps he should start assigning chores again.  He walked past the board and found a chores schedule already up.  Done in Caridad's precise handwriting so he smiled at her.

"Someone has to."

"Good point.  Thank you, Caridad."

"Welcome, Mr. Giles.  Have you tried looking at commercial real estate?"

"I have.  Nothing of the size we might someday need has come up."

"You know, that one building up the street is open," Buffy said, pushing back her hair while she scrubbed off the slime.  "Remember, we're going to have a few girls here, not a ton of girls, Giles."

"True."  He patted her on the head.  "I do want area for growth."

"Which you can have," she agreed.  "Just buy another lot and build on."  She smirked.  "The Heaven's Bell school is open too."  He went to look that up.  She smiled at Caridad, who smirked back.  It was really cramped here.  This would get them somewhere larger once it was fixed for their unique needs.  She called Xander to look that one over and he faxed back a report an hour later.  "Oops.  Giles, Xander said it has some severe structural issues," she called.  She walked it into the office.  "I had him do a drive by."  She gave him a hug around the neck.  "He made a suggestion though."  He looked.  Then he looked up that school.  It was nice looking.  "See, big enough for us but they're growing too much."

He nodded.  "I can see that."  He smiled at her.  "If it's in use it shouldn't need too much fixing.  Though it has no on-site housing."

"That can be a fixing thing.  Like the dorms, Giles."

"Good point, Buffy."  He gave her a pat.  "All clean?"

"No," she moaned, going back to it.  Caridad handed her a spray bottle.  "What's this?"

"The slime eater Anna uses to pretreat laundry."  Buffy tested a spot.  It worked but the wall changed colors so they sighed and went back to bleach and a sponge.  It was nasty work but slayers had to clean up goo plenty of times.  It was part of the calling.

***

Xander found the half demon they were looking for nearly as soon as they walked into the lab in DC.  As a matter of fact he spotted him and the demon took off running.  "Make me shoot you near chemicals.  Watch my rep grow," Xander called after him.  The demon skidded to a halt and looked around fearfully then back at him.  "Come here.  Now."  The demon moaned but walked back there.  The guard came running so he pulled his ID.  "DCIS.  I need to ask this one a few questions.  Do we have a private room I can use?"

"Um."  He looked at the ID then at him.  "DCIS?"

"We handled the dragons," he said dryly.  "And the LA invasion."

"Oh!  Them.  Why do you need him?  Is he doing bad things to the funny looking people?"

"Yup."  The guard sneered at him.  Tony strolled in with Gibbs behind him and the lab's manager behind them.  "I think this is him.  He took off running."

"Cool," Tony said with a smirk.  The demon moaned.  "Let's go talk."  They walked him off to the office.  The guard had to stay outside but that was fine with them.  "If it was you, we know you were an intermediary.  You might want to sing like a canary to save yourself going down for the murder."

"Murder?" he asked.

"Murder of Hejid's son-in-law.  Kidnaping of him.  Putting an explosive device on him."  The demon shuddered.  "You, not you?"

"I had nothing to do with that.  One of the humans wanted to sell him something.  They said he'd deal better with a half-demon.  It was an extra five hundred on my small paycheck," he defended, backing up.  "Please, man, I've got family!"

"Your records say you're single," Xander told him.  The demon swallowed.

Tony looked at his PDA.  "It does.  With no dependents."  He looked up.  "You have family?"

"I've got a mother!"

Xander called someone.  "We think we have the link.  He claims he has family.  Him."  He listened.  Then he nodded.  "Thanks."  He hung up and put his phone back.  "He has one cousin that has been expelled from the clan.  As he has been.  His family is a schnauzer and gambling debts."  Tony smirked at him.  "I always talk to the clan leader when it's a single member situation.  We want the humans.  If so, you're only an accessory to weapons trafficking.  Which is ten years in jail.  If not, you're going to go down for accessory to kidnaping, terrorist activities by planting the bomb, murder for hire, and weapons trafficking."

The man spluttered but nodded.  "Greg and Randy from this lab are working with Reginald from DynaSys."

"I know them," the lab manager told them.  "I can have them called up here."

"Please," Tony agreed with a smile.  "Thank you for cooperating."

"Doing this openly means our lab gets a bad reputation.  I don't like that."  She called the two she had and called over to the other lab to talk to their people.  That one would be brought over after his boss talked to him.  While they were waiting two Homeland Security agents walked in.  Tony looked over.  "Are you involved in this case as well?" she asked.

"We need to talk to our fellow agents, see if we're charge of the prisoners or they are."  They walked them into the hall, ignoring Xander totally.  "What's going on?"

"A few of the guys here tried to sell a classified weapon to a dealer demon who runs a gun shop we know about.  They killed his son-in-law, kidnaped him, put a bomb on him, and then made him walk home."

The agents nodded once, then smirked.  "Want us to take them so you can get out of town sooner?  Gibbs is going to spot you soon."

"Considering he was inside and he's a Watcher now?" Xander suggested dryly.  They glared at him.  "What?"

"We don't like you," one told him.

"Do I give a damn?"  He shrugged.  "Yay you."  He smiled sweetly.  "Step off, boys."  They stepped back.  "I don't care what rumors are going around now.  I never have.  You can work with us or not.  The same boss signs our paychecks."

"There's no way you'd pass into Homeland,"  the other of them sneered.

Xander looked at his ID then held it up and pointed at a line.  "DCIS is under Homeland."  They all stared at him.  "We've been around since the year the president got assassinated by a demon.  It was a slow move to a full agency but that was us too."  They stepped back.  "For that matter, I've been there longer than Jackson and DiNozzo have.  I'm the one who helped the base get help with the former watchers went rogue and tried to kill them all.  Before then the sheriff hadn't known there was a problem.  So jump off it.  I don't care what my rep says."

"It says you're a loose cannon and dangerous."

"Only if you're hurting innocents," Xander said.  "I earned my rep, guys.  You go after the little kids and you get my foot up your ass.  Now, is there anything else?"

"Just get out of DC."

"Unfortunately, the job calls.  If you don't like it, yay you.  Take it up with your supervisor."  They stomped off.  He looked at Tony.  "Why do we put up with them?"

"It's easier to let them vent.  They and FBI agents have god syndrome sometimes."  He found his phone and dialed a number.  "Doctor Hertzberg, Tony DiNozzo.  Can you please pass a message back to your TA?  Yes, that one.  Tell her some of her daddy's people were here threatening and keeping DCIS from doing our job.  They don't like us being in the same department so apparently we're all bad to them.  Also tell her they're lucky I didn't break bad and make Homeland have to hire.  We're not pleased.  Thank you."  He hung up with a smirk.  "The AD at Homeland's daughter is a TA with a teacher I know of."  They walked back inside to go back to their questioning.  They got a few odd looks but he shrugged it off.  "They're having spoiled brats days."

"It happens to all agencies now and then when you're a monolith of inefficiency," Gibbs noted dryly.  "Called to leave a message for the TA?"

"Yup.  It's the safest way.  Hey, maybe they'll move us out of Homeland so we don't have to argue about the budget anymore."  He cuffed their suspects and they started to sing and rant about the people who had gotten them the weapon.  They picked them up too.  Their jails were going to get really full soon.  Xander had them read their rights as they walked off.  Tony promised to get his bag for him since they were going back by portal.  He wanted to talk to someone higher up in person.  They parted ways and Tony went to Homeland's block-long building.  His badge got him in and an interview pretty quickly.  The head guy gave him an embarrassed look.  "I take it you heard?"

"I did.  They're on dog detail."

"Good.  They're damn lucky I didn't react with them getting in my face and ignoring Xander."

"I know, DiNozzo.  Is this a courtesy call?"

"Well, we did just arrest ten people involved in selling classified weapons," he said dryly, giving him a look.  He got a groan back.  "Humans and one half demon."

"We might want to take them to a regular jail once your judge is done with them."

"They confessed very well," Tony assured him.  "They're kinda scared of our jail."  He smirked.  "Anyway.  We don't like them.  I don't care if they don't like Xander or his rep for doing whatever he has to so innocents and slayers are protected."

The guy sighed, shaking his head.  "They don't like your whole agency and having it under us is causing problems."

"Then move us and give us a better budget, sir."

The head of Homeland gave him an odd look.  "Where would it be put?"

Tony shrugged.  "I don't know.  The FBI has their own category.  You guys have yours.  We can have our own budget category.  It would mean others couldn't try to steal our budget."

"True.  I'll talk to the president about that.  Having some oversight is good for you."

"Some, but then again we've had hints that the director who stole those files did it to appease a demon he made a deal with."  The man moaned.  "And that there's a new power player behind things but he's being more subtle.  Probably guiding the rumors."

"Crap."

"Since he stole Sam Winchester and Xander's file....."  He let it trail off.

"Why?   I know Winchester is special in a few ways."

"Harris is too.  Hurting either one is a sure way to get every single slayer in your face too."

"I can see that."  He rubbed his nose with a finger then looked at him.  "I'll talk with him about that.  There's plenty of agents who're not liking having you guys under Homeland.  None of them want to do your job, but they don't like the thought of you being necessary."

"And yet last night we kept a huge clan of rat demons from plunging Cleveland into the dark so they could have a buffet, sir."

He winced.  "We didn't even hear about that."

"We did when Xander sent Buffy to talk to a demon about why he bought a shotgun."

The head of Homeland shook his head.  "Let me talk to the president, see what we can do, DiNozzo.  How are you liking it?"

"I like the job, sir.  Though, an AD?"

"You should have someone stable."

"Yeah, but unless they're a free-thinking english major, they're going to be pretty bored.  All they'd have to do is proofread reports.  Coordinate where teams are.  I made sure we're not paperwork intensive."

"Good job with that, DiNozzo.  What about your doctors?"

"Daniel reminded House he had forgotten to get a replacement and his contract's up in a month.  I'm not sure yet."

"Okay.  That makes sense.  Let me talk to the president tonight.  Are you heading home?"

"We are.  Gibbs came with us as a watcher in case we needed his help with the weapons lab.  He got some field watching experience last night too.  Said he had no idea the girls were that bouncy and hyper."  The head of Homeland Security snickered at that.  "Honestly.  Speaking of, the next Congressional inauguration.  Should we plan on deploying a few people as well?"

"Yes.  Hell yes.  You and Harris caught an invisible one last time."

"She's still in the jail too."  He smirked.  "Let us know by the beginning of January, sir."

"I can do that.  Any idea on who's winning the new seat on the Intelligence committee?"

"If I knew that, we'd worry less.  The other guy's deathly afraid of us and wants to cut us out."

"How many deals has he made?"

"No clue, sir.  Ask a slayer."  He smirked and walked off.

The head of Homeland thought about that.  "He goes to a skin doctor.  We can have him take a full body scan of him to look for marks."  He called his assistant to send someone to get that if it was already available or to have him do one so they could look.  The doctor wouldn't want someone who had demonic markings as a patient anyway.

***

Daniel looked up as Tony followed his note to come see him.  "What did you say?"

"The truth.  They hate us being in Homeland.  They don't like dealing with us.  The ones who tried to threaten Xander nearly got my foot up their ass."

"Xander came home and pouted until Gibbs reminded him that sort of response meant you were doing a good job."  He sighed, looking at him.  "The good news is that we're getting all our budget at once."

Tony grinned.  "That is good news."

"Very.  All the payroll systems and all that have been fixed.  It also added in three new forms I have to do monthly."

"So let the AD English major you need do them."

Daniel smirked at him.  "English major?"

"He can proofread reports for us."

Daniel snickered.  "I could like that.  Messer has this bad habit of typos in his conclusion."  He shook his head.  "All right.  I'll look for someone like that.  One who can handle the agency."

"Ask Horatio.  He hires pretty well."  He winked.  "Any other traumas or bad things?"

"Not yet.  What about Xander's bad feeling?"

"It was probably the agents who wanted us to leave.  If I hadn't stepped in like I did, he would've beaten them senseless, Danny."

"I know.  He hates that."  He shrugged.  "Anything else I should hear?"

"Xander still needs an assistant."

"We're working on making him see that he has three of them."  Tony nodded.  "I'm going to nudge John into reminding him of that fact.  Anything else come of it?"

"I casually reminded him that it was the one he replaced that had stolen records and who they stole, pointing out doing anything against them would mean all the slayers got in their face.  He's having the front runner on the other side of the intelligence committee race checked for demonic taint since he's so vocal about hating us.  Not like they want to do our job."

"Good point.  Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome, boss."  He smirked and walked off.  "Xander, reports?"

"Already on your desk and proofread this time," he said dryly.

"Wonderful!"  He read it over, added it to his, printed them both out and handed them to Daniel to hand on.

***

Gibbs walked out to where John was sitting, sitting next to him.  "Hey."

"Hey.  How were the girls?  You came home really tired so I thought I'd leave off the nosy questions."

"They were good but I have never seen such bouncy warriors."

John laughed.  "They can be.  What was it?"

"Rat demons.  Trying to create a dark buffet."

"Ah.  Those things are nasty and they spew."

"As the girls found out."

John laughed.  "Even better."

"We know Harris is doing too much for his own good?"

"Yup.  We're about to have a talk about who has what duties.  Technically, Dean and Sam are his assistants.  Xander's never quite realized what an assistant does."

"I don't think the kid's ever had any help with anything."

"He said Willow used to cheat for him on homework now and then."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Wonderful."  They shared a look.  "Giles is an asshole."

"We knew that."

"He didn't go with his slayer?"

"Giles is a research guy, like Wesley.  Wesley eventually grew up and learned how to hunt with the girls and Angel.  Angel made a big dent in that when they worked together.  Now he's better."

"Thomas isn't that uptight."

"No.  I don't think anyone has a broomstick the size of Giles' up their ass."  Gibbs snickered.  "He does.  You can't tell me otherwise.  He never wanted to be a watcher.  He actually rebelled all the way to black magic at one time, then he came back after it went too far."

"Charming."

"Yup."  He gave him a shoulder nudge.  "It could be a lot worse."

"Prove it."

"Could be the invasion getting ready to happen."

"Yeah, that's worse.  How often do those things happen?"

"Any real apocalypses seem to happen in the spring with a rare fall one.  The dragons or Miami was our one this year."

"Good.  Now what?"

"Now?  Now, Wes and Sammy are trying to find next year's so we can train the girls for it and get them ready.  DCIS goes on the same as always.   We make Xander see he's duplicating work."  He shrugged.  "We figure out if we can stand whoever's going to take House and Chase's places here."

Gibbs looked at him.  "I doubt we could."

John snickered.  "Their friend Foreman?  Nice guy.  Very uptight.  The unicorns made him cry and run off.  Even more uptight than McKay, Jethro."  That got an evil smirk.  "Cameron and Cuddy both stared in horror then went to hide in the infirmary with the others.  Cuddy screamed and ranted when Binky came in to mug Chase for sugar treats."

Gibbs burst out laughing.  "So maybe we'll have good docs for a while."

"Could be."

"I don't like House but he's good at what he does."  He stood up.  "I should get back to the language lesson.  It came in handy."

"I'm sure it did."  He smirked.  "They still suck at our age."

"They do."  He went to learn something from the young pup Sam or Wes.  They were so young!

John went back to working on making new bullets.  Someone had to around there.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Visitors From Another Strange Place.

Chase waved at Cameron when he spotted her getting off the plane, getting a nod back.  Foreman came off a few behind her.  And then Cuddy came off, making him look a bit confused.  "Why is she here?" he muttered, calling the infirmary.  "Helen, tell House Cuddy came as well."  He hung up and caught them heading out to go pick up their bags.  "It's a good thing I borrowed one of the agency's sedans," he said lightly.

"I wasn't about to let House forget he's due back next month," Cuddy told him.

"We're working on finding our replacements right now," he assured her.  He led them down to the baggage claim area, letting them get their own.  Then he led them out to the car.  "Want to see part of this city or go right to the base?  It's about a two-hour trip."

"Let me hit the little girls' room first," Cameron said, going that way.

"The flyover made it look like empty, pretty country," Foreman said.

Chase shrugged.  "There's plenty of civilization if you go looking for it.  Though it is pretty."  Cameron came back and he let them into the car, checking it over before starting it.  It was agency protocol in case there was a bomb.  Foreman gave him an odd look.  "We do deal in bad things," he pointed out quietly.  He started the engine and backed them out of their parking spot, heading for the gateway out.  "Did the dragon cause much damage?"  He had to try to start a nice conversation.  It was a long trip.

"No, but we had to replace about six beds," Cuddy admitted.  "A few disappeared, the rest were bent.  What did happen to the rest of them?"

"I believe zoos were suggested.  That's humane, we can use them to increase foreign relation with countries that like dragons.  No one will picket any of us for it."

"That's reasonable at least," Cuddy decided, looking out the window.  "It's very pretty up here."

"It is," Chase agreed.  "Xander's been running the girls through tracking exercises in the snow recently.  We get a lot of complaining girls afterward."

"House must love that," Cameron said sarcastically.

"They respect him.  One tried to hug him after he did stitches for her."  Cuddy moaned, shaking her head.  "He made her laugh instead and made her go do something less productive than rolling around with the pets."

"They have pets?" Foreman asked.

"Hmm.  George, Binky, and Digger.  George is presently hiding in the gym because it's warm and he needs sunlight.  Now and then you'll find him on the elevators instead because it's always light in them.  He was the first pet.  Binky and Digger showed up a few days before the dragons did.  They're a bit troublesome but they're nice usually."  He changed roads to get them onto the right highway.

"You're on a base?" Cameron asked.  The sign had said so when it had zipped past.

"They refurbished it for us.  We're doing a bit of expanding to make more singles apartments.  Not too many families at the moment."

"That's interesting," Cuddy admitted.  "How many agents now?"

"Around sixty.  The others are living in the married quarters until they're done."  He turned on the radio.  "You can nap if you want.  I won't be insulted."

Foreman smirked.  "How many people has House made cry?"

"Two with stitches because they refused local.  He did it anyway as soon as they started to cry.  One nurse who was a bit squeamish.  She didn't want to do a STD swab on someone when he came home exhausted from playing and collapsed."

Cuddy moaned, shaking her head.  "They work hard so they play hard?"

"In that case, no.  Xander somehow convinced most of a plane that he was a god of lust.  They made him come christen his temple."  He smirked in the mirror.  "Two weeks in their realm and not a whole lot of sleep."  He paid more attention to the road.  "House forbid Xander from going out with Sam or Dean again unless they brought him back a few girls as well.  Doctor Jackson made it so they're not allowed to go on prolonged vacation together, just in case he does it to another one."

"How did he do that?" Cameron asked.

"They were in Las Vegas, I know that much.  I know there was a DD style quest game that they could join run by some benevolent demons.  I know that Xander wenched his way through it and won the game by being a bit less than typical.  I heard it mentioned he held a drinking contest one round instead of taking on the beings.  Made friends instead of enemies.  The last round was to beat a goddess that had been bothering the realm, which is why they set up the game.  He got past her and all the wenches he had fun with promoted him to godhood."  She groaned, shaking her head.  "They're apparently peaceful.  They sent a peace treaty.  They're not going to kidnap him but now and then he goes back there to have some fun.  House only groaned because he came back with a UTI."

Cuddy moaned, holding her forehead.  "House must be insane."

"The girls make it fun.  Especially the excuses they use to get out of their yearly exams.  One used a physics test and she's not in physics."  Cameron snickered.  "She's young and it'll work itself out.  They do have their favorites.  They think I baby them and House is like some higher being who gives advice.  We've gotten a lot of research done."

"That's good," Cuddy agreed.  "It helped us a lot during the dragon issue."

"We were so exhausted fielding calls," he admitted.  "The agents out to handle things as well.  Fortunately there's only about seventy-five dragons left.  Something like that."  He shrugged, going silent for a bit.  "It's been an interesting experience.  Now and then it's a trauma situation.  Sometimes it's a strange disease someone caught on patrol.  House is taking Xander's blood today because he just learned Xander got exposed to a dead form of smallpox and syphilis in the past from ghosts."

"Ghosts can transmit diseases?" Cuddy demanded.  She leaned forward.  "How?"

"He fell into their burial chamber while he was helping in Sunnydale.  It was a construction site."  She nodded once.  "Since he's open to the influence of spirits, they gave him a 'thanks for killing us' present as he calls it."

She moaned, sitting back.  "So they gave him what had killed them?"

"It disappeared when they banished them.  House wanted to make sure he's not still contagious."

"Is he?" Foreman asked.

"No idea.  He was doing that while I came to pick you lot up."  He smirked at him.  "You can call and ask if you want."

"I'll ask when we get there.  How bad are the cases?"

"The trauma cases can be bad.  We had one who took some severe damage right after we got there.  Then the dream demon attacked her so she took more while laying in her infirmary bed.  It did not make us happy but they fixed it for her and she's fine now.  Back at work in LA.  One of them took some recently.  She's still on crutches since her pelvic fracture hasn't fully healed yet.  She hates it.  Claims it makes her feel weak.  Slayers have accelerated healing.  She got up the same night and made herself go to dinner, no matter what we said because she decided she's tougher than three broken and one fractured bone.  They all sent her back and corrected her thinking for her.  The girls try too hard to be tough sometimes.  Then their watchers and the Winchesters get on them."

"Good!" Cuddy said.  "She's healing fine?"

"She's healing just fine.  Her last MRI showed only the fractured pelvis and it's almost totally healed back together.   She'll be off her crutches within weeks.  She's a tough little thing.  We had to yell at her for tousling with Digger the other day in the snow."

"That's some kid," Foreman decided.  "Do they whine you to death too?"

"Not usually.  Not unless we're giving shots or something.  Then they can whine.  Their yearly exams for those who get them."

"They make them?" Cameron asked.

"Slayer blood brings every demon within sniffing range," he said grimly.  "One cut her elbow last week in the mall and had to fight her way out of the Gap."  Cameron shuddered.  "So the people in charge, namely Xander, decided that they should go on something to stop their monthlies.  It works well.  For the older girls it's also protection against bad taste.  Because some do have really bad taste in boyfriends."

"Treating STD's?" Cuddy teased.

"One case of crabs.  A few other minor things.  House got handed Dean for his crabs from the prostitutes in Vegas, and the girl too.  He gave them very nice lectures about picking people who bathe."  He smirked at Foreman since he was in the front seat.  "He got to be evil all day long."

"Interesting.  He having many evil days?"

"That depends on if we get him up before ten."  He changed roads again, this time they were on the road to the town and then the base.  "There's a small town before the base if you wanted to pick up anything.  I probably should hit the supermarket to pick up things to nibble on. The girls used their panty raid skills to break in and steal everyone's chips recently.  Xander went to spank them."

"Panty raid?" Cuddy asked dryly.

"They're teenage girls who were stuck on a base.  They picked a different person each month.  They tried us our first night in.  House got them with a dye pack."  He gave her a smug look in the mirror.  "It did stop that problem for us."

She snickered.  "Sounds like House.  Sure, we can stop at the grocery store."  He nodded and sped up a bit, going around a slower moving car.  "You're taking up bad driving habits?"

"I know him.  He's searching for his driveway again."  He called the local sheriff.  "Doug, it's Robert Chase.  I just passed Old Man Tyler on the road.  Driving, Doug.  Yes, him.  About forty from his farm, going about twenty below the speed limit.  Please.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's not supposed to drive.  Better to let the deputies handle that though. They have tact and he knows them."  Two cop cars went rushing past him and pulled in around the old man, making him stop when he finally noticed the lights after a few minutes.

"Alzheimers?" Cameron asked.

"Not really sure.  I've never examined him.  If anything I'd say it was more likely dementia.  He's nearly ninety.  Usually it would've manifested by now if it was Alzheimers."  He shrugged.  The deputies got his car and the old man back to his farm, one waving on their way around him.  He waved back.  "He's a very nice old man.  Served in World War II.  Tells some great stories to the girls when they're in town and run into him."

"He doesn't have a caretaker?"

"His daughter does but she also works.  So far he's doing all right with that arrangement.  We'll have to see."  He smirked a bit, waving a hand.  "That's the town," he said.  They all looked.  Cuddy nodded.  "It's very nice here.  The mall's small but functional.  The girls sneak off base all the time to go shopping.  It proves who has stealth training mastered."  Foreman snickered. "It does."   He parked in front of the supermarket.  "If you needed the drug store, it's up the street to the left.  It'll only take me a few minutes."  He rushed inside to get the chicken breasts he had forgotten to pick up and something to nibble on.  He called House.  "I'm in the grocery store.  Need anything?  I know the girls stole all your chips.  They stole everyone's."  The stock boy moaned and went to get more.  They'd be down later to get some.  "Sure, I can do that.  Pay me back."  He hung up and got him his bag of chips too.  A few minutes more and he checked out.  The bags went into the trunk and he slid in, looking back.  "Pharmacy?"

Foreman nodded.  "Tylenol."

"That's fine."  He went that way, picking them up when they came out.  He smiled.  "We're nearly there.  Only another two miles."  He drove them off, taking them to the main gate.  The guards stopped him.  "This is Doctor Foreman, behind me is Doctor Cameron and Doctor Cuddy.  She's not on our expected list but she decided to visit to harass House."

"That's fine, Doc.  Go ahead and put the sedan in the garage.  It sounds a bit rough."

"Steering's a bit hard too."  That got a nod.  "Thank you."  He took them to the building.  "Go ahead inside and I'll be right back after I take this heap to park."  They went inside.  Foreman even took the groceries.  Chase drove it to the garage then jogged back there after making a trouble report.  "There we go."  He led them to his apartment.  "House is up the floor from the elevator."  He opened the door and paused.  "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.

"I'm hiding from mean bitches," one of the teenagers said with a pout.

"Why are you hiding in my place?"

"You have the Monty Python Xander doesn't and Xander's taking a nap after falling on the ice earlier.  He told me to go away or he's spanking."  She pouted at him.  "I'll behave.  I promise.  I won't even hit on the yummy chocolate behind you."  Foreman groaned.  "You are."  She smiled at Chase.  "Please?"

"Can't you watch it at your dorm?"

"No.  The mean bitches are there."

"Ask Tony if you can watch it at his place," he said patiently.  She squealed and took the DVD with her.  He shook his head, letting them inside.  "That was Marion.  The girls and she are having a few tiffs recently."  He put things where they should go.  "It came fully furnished."

"I didn't think the plaid throw blanket and pillows were your taste," Cuddy said.  House tapped then walked in.  "There you are."

"Not like I could stand two hours in a car with you, Cuddy."  Chase tossed him his bag of chips.  "What happened to Marion?"

"Mean bitches," Cameron told him.

He smirked a bit.  "Some of the girls live in a soap opera."

"Xander said if they get that much sex or turn that slutty they're going to be sent to Cleveland and the Springer Slayer Patrol out there," Chase said dryly.

House laughed.  "At least they're not fighting over the boys.  They're sharing them.  A lot."

"With everyone but Buffy," Chase said with an evil smirk.  "I don't think they've told her yet."

"Probably not.  Then again, not her tastes anyway.  They have fun."  He settled in, hearing someone coming up the hall.  He listened for a minute.  "We have guests, Annabelle."

She leaned in.  "You said you'd give me a piano lesson this week; I wanted to know when you wanted to do that."  She smiled and waved.  "Hi.  Can we keep them?"

"Don't tempt me," Cuddy said with a smirk.

She glared at her.  "They're very good doctors and we appreciate snarky men around here.  After all, we have him, Xander, Speed, and Gibbs, sometimes even Tony and Ryan.  We like our men smart and mouthy.  Or the older girls do anyway.  Someday I will."

"Only if Xander doesn't paddle you for that," House told her, opening his bag of chips.  "Tomorrow night after chores?"

"That'll work.  Thanks, House."  She closed the door and hopped off.  She'd tell the others what they were like.  They all liked the doctors so that one woman was toast when the older girls got her.  "She's a mean and evil one."

"Cameron?" Kim asked, looking over from her homework.

"No, the other one.  The dark-haired one."

"Cuddy came?" Sam asked with a frown.  Anna nodded, sitting down and putting up her feet  "What happened?"

"I asked if we could keep them.  She said to not tempt her.  She nearly sneered."

"That's going to be one sorry woman then," Kim quipped.  She went back to her homework.  "We'll have to pull together the ladies."  They all looked over as Dawn's phone rang and then a portal opened.  "Hey, Buffy," she called with a wave.

"Who told our girls they could all date the same set of twins?"

"Xander told us we couldn't fight about the guys," Amber said dryly.  "Not that I do."

"You'd better not," her girlfriend said with a smirk.

"Honey, I have slayer lovin'.  What else do I need except someone who understands science to help me?"

Sam came over to help her.  "We thought you knew, Buffy."

"No, I didn't know.  Because I would've said something.  That's wrong!  Very, very wrong!  Wronger than me dating Angel wrong!"

Dawn snickered at that.  "Well, we do call you guys the Springer Slayer Squad," she quipped with an evil grin. Her sister glared.  "You date bad boys.  They date bad boys.  Six of them are sharing a boyfriend."  She shrugged.  "Did you catch them?"

"No.  The doctor did."  The girls all giggled.  "What?" she asked, looking miserable.  "Where's Faith?"

"Rec room avoiding the homework things," Dawn said.  "FAITH!  BUFFY NEEDS HELP!  SHE FOUND OUT THE GIRLS WERE ALL DATING THE SAME GUY!" she bellowed.

Faith came strolling in.  "How many now?"

"Six.  The doctor caught them and told Giles.  Thankfully I answered the phone."

"They catch something?" Faith demanded.  "Because we did make sure they all knew what birth control is."  She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not sure.  The health department nurse caught the twins during their exam before they got new pills."

"Those girls need sense," Faith muttered, walking off shaking her head.  "C'mon, B.  Let's work out."

"Sure.  I grounded them all and let Caridad yell."

"Oh, no, B.  Wes, B just found out why we're calling them the Springer Squad.  The health department nurse caught 'em."

Wesley and John came out of Wesley's office.  "Excuse me?" John demanded.

"Six dating the same guy," Buffy said grimly.

"Oh, no.  That will not be allowed," John said.  He stomped off.  "Dawn...."  She opened a portal.  "Thank you, dear.  Good girl."  He went to have a...discussion with the girls.  That was not allowed for good girls to do.  They saw him and tried to run.  "Sit down!"  They sat and gave him attentive looks.  "Who was dating this guy?"  Six of the girls raised their hands.  "Knowingly?"  They all nodded.  "Do you think we'd approve?"

"He can't get us pregnant," Cho offered with a smile.

"I don't care!" he snapped, starting on the parental lecture he had apparently missed giving to them when they were on base.  Caridad got him some water and sat down to listen like a good girl.  He liked that she had some sense.

Back on base, Dawn looked at the portal when John started to yell.  "Anyone wanna go save them?"

"Hell no.  Sat through that one myself," Dean said.  "It'll be *hours* before he stops that rant.  Go ahead and close it, Dawn."  She did that and he called Giles.  "Giles, Dean.  Don't hurry back to the house.  Dad's going off on some of the girls for doing some naughty, nasty things."

"No that was last week," Kim said dryly.  "Kennedy was talking about edible body paint to scare Willow back to death."

Dean shuddered.  "No, Giles.  Dad has it.  He's an experienced parent.  He got it through my head when I dated triplets.  He can get it through their heads."  He snickered. "No, not triplets.  A few of the girls were dating the same guy.  Buffy found out from the health department nurse.  I'm sure Dad's having tons of fun at the moment so give it a few hours.  Go have tea in public, man."  He hung up.

"You dated triplets?" Dawn asked.  He smirked and nodded.  "What did you do with the extra parts?"

"Teased them.  They were identical twins and a fraternal sister.  They liked to share everything."  He walked off looking incredibly smug.

"If I do that..."

"We'll let John yell at you too," another girl reminded her.  "While we all hide."

"Me too," Sam agreed quietly, cracking up the room.  "I did both times he had to give it to Dean."  They all stared at him.  "Ask him, ladies, not me."

They went to pounce Dean to see what he had done.  John didn't like to repeat lectures.  What had he done to get it *twice*?

***

Chase finished dinner and put it into the oven, coming back.  "There, all ready and should be done in an hour."  He checked the table.  "I'll need to add space to it."

"We can eat on the couch," Cameron assured him.

"His mother was fussy about company manners," House reminded her.

"Oh, yeah."

"Most mothers are," Foreman agreed.  "How are you liking being surrounded by pretty teenage girls you can't hit on?"

"Who says I can't?" House snorted.  "They try often enough."  Cuddy stared at him.  "I've kept them from doing more than hinting, Cuddy.  They're too young for me and they know that.  Though one does want to become a doctor and I've been encouraging her in the direction she should go."  He nibbled another chip.  Chase gave him a look.  "What?"

"She'll make a horrid OB, House.  She'll make a very good pediatrician however."

"She'll beat any parents she finds abusing a kid."

"Yeah, and?" Chase said, shrugging a bit.

"Good point.  I'll have her look into that area.  She thought she'd like the OB part of the OB/GYN trade."  He shrugged and ate another chip.  "How's my office?"

"Wilson guards it jealously," Foreman said dryly.  "All your toys are safe."

"I thought he'd be coming out but the new ex-wife managed to get the divorce hearing moved up so he couldn't," Cuddy told him.

"I heard last night.  He called to get some sanity after her whining."  He looked outside then at Chase.  "Storm tonight."

He looked then grimaced.  "Let's hope it's not one that'll make Binky come hide under the desk again."

"Shouldn't.  They have the barn now."  He put his chips aside and got up to get a drink.  He turned around and found Cuddy had taken his seat so he got a different one.  "How's the rest of the hospital?"

"Good enough," Cuddy admitted.  "No one's tried to slug a doctor in weeks.  No one's threatened to sue us in weeks.  How's the one here?"

"The local hospital's about three hours away.  They closed the county one last month," Chase admitted, sitting down again.  "House?"  He pointed at the more comfortable chair.

"I'm good."  He smirked.  "We're doing okay locally.  The new nurse came from their staff.  We can airlift for anything too serious.  The guy on cancer treatments here is doing okay but we're giving them to him here instead of making him travel.  Finding a replacement is going worse.  Not too many people can deal with traumas and strange poisons or symptoms."

"How many of those do you get?" Cameron asked.

"Too many.  A swipe of a claw.  Someone ran into a demon's arm in a club going to talk to a witness.  One of the girls nearly getting bitten by a rattlesnake trying to get some sun.  All sorts of poisoning.  That and small combat trauma injuries mostly," Chase told her.  "They'll have to be able to use the equipment, House."

"Jackson said if I picked a loser he was going to let the girls kidnap me," he said smugly.

"I'm sure you'll show up painted pink and naked too," he shot back.

House looked thoughtful.  "Annabelle will save me.  Mary too.  The two youngest love me."

"Mary's a little heathen and could almost be your child," Chase teased.  "She's even got your mouth when she bothers to talk to others."

"True.  I'm so proud of her calling you a funny looking kangaroo."

Chase shook his head, taking a sip of his tea.  Cuddy snickered at that.  Foreman cleared his throat.  "How many cases are you guys getting a week?"

"We average about ten usual things and two strange ones plus research time," Chase told him.  "You want to take my spot?"

"No.  The girls would scare me."

"Probably," House agreed smugly.  "They're all very strong girls."  He heard a mass giggle and went to look outside.  "What evilness are you girls plotting now?" he called down from the balcony.

"We're chasing Dean to see why John had to give him the 'it's a bad thing to be a slut' lecture twice," one of the girls called up with a happy grin.  "John's giving it to the other girls since Buffy found out about the six girls dating the same guy thing and came to find sanity in Faith."

House walked off shaking his head.  "Check the armory," Chase yelled.  They headed that way.  "He's probably hiding in the gun vault."

"I'm sure John's having a good yell at the girls since he's doing daddy duty."

Kim leaned in.  "Wesley wanted to know if you guys would do the disease check stuff since they were not only sharing a single junior from the local college but one of them mentioned sharing a pair of twins with the others.  John nearly had a stroke."

House stared at her.  "The six girls were sharing three men?"  She smirked and nodded.  "Xander's right, they are members of the trailer trash show."  He shook his head.  "Can the local health department do it?"

"They're so horrified they tried to tell Giles on the girls.  Buffy answered the phone; that's how she knew.  John called Wesley to see if you'd do it."

"We can do them after dinner," Chase told her.

"Thanks, Chase.  I'm sure they'll appreciate it."  She waved.  "Hi, all."  She disappeared.  Then she came back.  "Chase, Willow said gay women didn't use toys."

"I don't see why not.  Others I know have.  Find a gay chatroom."

She beamed.  "Thanks, Chase."  She headed off at a jog.

"Have fun with the happiness patrol," House told him.

"If you give them the tour," he shot back.

House stared at him.  That was a gift.  Chase was up to something.  "You sure you can handle yelling at them?"

"John has been I'm sure."

House smirked.  "Fine, I'll give them the tour after dinner.  Speaking of, is it ready?"

Chase went to check and turned on the broiler.  "Ten more minutes.  Go clean up, people."  They did that while he and House shared a look.  "They haven't met the pets yet."

House gave him such an evil look.  "I've trained you well, padawan," he said quietly.

"Xander helped."

"That's one of his many jobs."  He got up and went to clean up in his own apartment so he could cackle in peace.  He loved to torment their friends.  How nice of Chase to help him with that project.

***

Danny sat down next to Don Flack, giving him a look.  "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault they misunderstood," Don said, looking at him.  "Though it's nice I'm now the first husband and Mac's the second."

Danny smirked.  "You're better in bed I'm sure."

"Of course I am.  Mac's used to the same thing and I played for a while longer."  They shared a look then smirked.  "What're we gonna do now?"

"Now?"  He got comfortable.  "How about we date?  Maybe eventually move into one of the married quarters so we can share but still have individual rooms if we need ta?"

"Dating's nice," Don decided, stretching out then letting Danny settle in under his arm.  "Mac freaked?"

"Big time.  He went to tell Stella, who only giggled before giving him a hug."  He smirked up at him.  "You?"

"It was a misunderstanding.  They happen.  I'm sure I'll have one some year.  Hopefully I won't end up married to anyone," he teased.  Danny poked him.  "Think there's a language charm like in Harry Potter?"

"I asked Sam that and he gave me a dirty look.  If there is, we might ask Thomas."

"Could," Don admitted.  Someone knocked.  "What?" he called.  Stella leaned in.  "Mac done hiding and cowering from my wrath?"

"Mostly.  He's more scared of Danny's temper than your wrath."  She grinned.  "You two okay?"

"We were talking about maybe a movie this weekend if we're both here."

"That could be nice," she said with a soft grin.  "Or dinner.  You can do that tonight so the girls don't pounce you to congratulate Danny on his three-way marriage."

"That sounds so dirty," Danny moaned, shaking his head.

"Only if you want it to be."  Stella disappeared before either man could hit her with a pillow.

"No, it's dirty sounding," Don agreed.  Danny laughed and poked him.  "She's right, I'm hungry.  Wanna eat off base?"

"We can do that."  He stood up and hauled Don with him.  "There's a good Italian place in the next village from what I heard."

"Is that the same one the ghost told Xander he got the runs from?" he teased.

"Could be," he admitted, making Don laugh as they walked out together.  "At least you got a car around here."

"You could," Don teased.

"'Course I could.  Then I can't be the naughty hitchhiking guy either," he taunted back with an evil smirk.

Don paused before opening his car door.  "Did you really mean to make me have dirty thoughts?  Because if you did, you did a good job."

Danny laughed.  "Good ta know you got a kink button, Don."  He slid in.

Don gathered himself, staring up at the stars.  "Sex on the first date is wrong according to my mother.  You agree or not?"  No answer came so he decided to let Danny lead for tonight.  He climbed in, weathering the pinch to his thigh.  "What was that for?"

"Taking so long when I'm hungry."

"Mac didn't knock you up, right?"

"Keep it up and I'll bite," Danny promised.

"Sure, I get that."  He started the engine and drove them off to have dinner.  He paused at the guard shack.  "Going to eat."

"Watch out for Bulgosi's, guys.  One of the guys ate there and had the craps for days.  Not even medicine helped it.  He almost got desperate enough to go see House."

"We'll remember that," Don promised.  He drove them off shaking his head.  "Isn't that the Italian place in the next town?"

"Yup.  Chinese?"

"Mexican?"

"Mexican works for me," he decided.  It was usually a lively place and a good family place.  They gave him amused looks when he walked in with Don but that was fine.  To everyone else they looked like friends having dinner.  Which was what they were.  For now.

***

Speed looked over at Ryan during dinner.  "No sign of foreign docs or newly married CSI.  Are we lucky or are they avoiding us?"

"Probably out for some air and Chase is too nice to let them be eaten by the girls."

"Hey!" one of them complained.  "Chase said we could hit on them all we wanted."  She smirked evilly and Dawn cackled.  "See?"

"Uh-huh," Ryan said.  "I see the Cleveland group came back.  Long night over there, ladies?"

"No comment," Buffy said, shaking her head before taking a drink.  "Please?"

"Ooh, sounds like someone got a spanking," Dean taunted.

Buffy looked at him.  "I hope so.  That way I don't have to and Faith doesn't have to."

Faith gave her an odd look.  "I'm not that sort of mommy, B.  If you wanna have spankies with the girls, that's up to them.  They're big girls who can turn you down if they want to."  Buffy blushed at that, putting her head down.  Faith patted her on the back.  "John still yelling at a few of them?"

"Yup."

"Good."  She beamed.  "At least I didn't have to run this time."

Xander looked down at her.  "Just wait until you start to date again," he taunted smugly.  She went pale.  "Remember, we give very good shovel talks around here, Faith."

"Maybe I'll stick with the casual thing then," she decided, making Wesley choke.  "If I do find a good guy, they'll scare him off."

"I dare say we won't let Xander scare off your good boyfriend," he assured her, complete with a pat on the arm.  "Buffy, do sit up and eat.  You're a bit thin again."

She looked at him.  "Are you possessed by my mom?"

"No, not that I'm aware of," he admitted, making Dawn crack up.  "The advice is still sound since your pants are too loose and you usually complain they're too tight."  She nodded, getting back to eating.  John walked the last few girls in.  "Who's still in Cleveland?"

"Giles and Caridad."  He pushed one.  "Eat."  She settled in to eat.

Faith looked at them then at John.  "Not sitting funny.  Didn't have to spank for real?"

He smirked.  "Not cute, Faith, but we did have a nice, long talk with all three young men."  The girls all whimpered.  "And then we had a talk about other problems."  He glared at Dean.

"Not my fault!" he complained.  "I didn't tell them to share."

"Uh-huh."  He dug into dinner, shaking his head a bit.

Buffy looked at him.  "You're a really loud father, aren't you?"

"Only when necessary."  He looked at her.  "Speaking of, there was a letter there from yours," he said more quietly.  "Giles found it in the mail from yesterday."

She stared, then swallowed.  "Postcard?"

"Letter."

"Thick?"

"No.  Maybe two sheets at the most."  He handed it over.  "Since he figured you'd be here most of the night.  So you and the younger one can read it."

She nodded.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."

"Use my place," Xander said, looking down at her.  She nodded at that, tucking it into her pocket.  She played with her food but Sam nudged her and gave her a smile.  "Buffy, remember, we had a hunt order all ready to go," Xander pointed out gently.

She smirked.  "Don't remind me.  Dawn, letter from Spain."

"Excuse me?" she choked.  Sam patted her on the back until she could breathe again.  "Spain?"  Buffy nodded.  "He writes now?"

"Apparently.  Xander's place after dinner?  Then the gym?"

"Yeah, we can do that."  She got up and hauled Buffy up, walking her off so they could stare at the letter together then go spar.  Because Dawn was very pissed at her father.  Well, Buffy's father but still her father she guessed.

John looked at the other girls.  "Give them some room tonight," he ordered.  They all nodded.  "Those of you who have an appointment later, you had better be finishing up."  They groaned but went back to eating so they could visit Doctor Chase.  John walked them down there, giving Annabelle a look when she tried to follow.  "You can do yours later.  Have Jethro help you with your history homework since it's the world wars."  She nodded, hopping that way.  He stopped Mary too.  "Big girl stuff, Mary.  Go help House give the tour."  She ran off to do that.  He sighed, doing a nose count.  Then he went to get the other one and drag her back by the simple method - he grabbed onto the back of her neck and walked her off while she said 'ow' the whole way.  He gave her a light shove as he released her into the infirmary, closing the door behind him.  He did another count.  "Chase, do we need to keep notes for the health department?"

"I can tell them," he promised.  He was thinking 'thank God they got the HPV vaccine' but he'd never share that.  It was unprofessional.  Though those three boys were going to be heavily checked by the health department if he had his say.  And he would.  If he didn't, House would.  He got done with that one and filled her antibiotics before she left.  She had to slink past John but oh well.

"Two bottles?" John asked.

Chase looked at him.  "The rest I'll have sent to them."

John winced and walked off shaking his head.  That was a bad sign.  A very bad sign.   Worse than Dean catching VD from some hooker bad sign.

Chase motioned for the next girl, who came in already scratching.  "I already know about that problem," he assured her.  "There's been three others as well."  She moaned and the others whimpered.  Yup, it was going to be a very bad night.

***

House watched Foreman flee from the unicorn.  Binky had wanted to play.  "What?" he called after him. "Scared?"  They were in the infirmary and Binky had come looking for sugar treats.  "How bad is it?"  Chase handed over the list before petting the unicorn.  House looked then winced.  "That's bad."

"That's very bad.  I reported them to the health department.  All three boys need to be fumigated.  Then I told John the ones that had shown up.  He got to yell at them some more, this time with Xander."

"Charming," House said, handing it back.  "Thankfully they're there."  The portal from LA opened and Connor pulled Crissy through.  "Banged on the head again?" he asked, coming over to help.

"No clue.  She passed out, Doctor House."  They heaved her onto a bed.  "Morgan's not happy with her.  I don't know why."  He looked at him.  "Should I tell Xander?"

"Call the slayer's hall.  He's there somewhere yelling at the girls."

"What did they do this time?"

"The Cleveland girls," Chase told him.

"They kill a human?"

"No, they've been sharing boyfriends."

"I suggested that and Morgan got pissed," Connor sulked, going to call.  "Rebecca, it's Connor.  Tell Xander I brought Crissy back because she passed out."  He hung up and went to hover over his buddy.  His girlfriend would understand.  Hopefully.  House gave him an odd look.  "Morgan said to come help her.  She'd finish patrol tonight and check on Cordette for us.  She's got Gunn and Angel."

"Fine."  He went back to checking her over, sighing some.  "That's going to be a sucky talk," he said.  He drew some blood, tossing the vial at Chase.  "Standard for the yearly."  He nodded, running it through the machine.  Ten minutes later he squeaked.  "Yes?"

"Serum positive."

"Thought so.  She's too skinny too.  That's probably why she passed out.  Did she eat dinner or lunch, Connor?"

"She's been up at the college most of the time, Doctor House.   I have no idea."

Xander strolled in.  "What's happened this time and do I need artillery?"

"For her boyfriend," Chase told him, giving him a look.

Xander looked at the girl on the bed then at House.  "Seriously?"  He smirked and nodded.  "And today...."

"She passed out," Connor supplied.

"She's under her last known weight by about ten pounds.  I'm guessing morning sickness."

"No, she had the flu last week but it lasted most of the day," Connor told him.  "Is that what this is?"

"That means she's going to be making us both godfathers, Connor," Xander told him.  Connor gave him a horrified look, backing away slowly like it was contagious.  "If we're lucky it's not like Cordy's and demon spawn."  He looked at House.  "Can we tell?"

"Ultrasound.  Pull it over."  Chase got it and they looked.  House searched then found it.  "Looks human to me."

Xander sighed as he looked at it then poked her hard.  She grabbed his finger with a gasp.  "You are in such deep shit," he warned her.  But he was smiling.  "Who's the guy I get to give the shovel talk to?"

"I...."

"Don't even say you don't know.  I'll let John lecture you like he did the crabs patrol earlier."

"Eww," she said weakly.

"Ya think?" he asked.  He helped her up once House was done.  "She good outside of food?"  She turned green.

"We have a medicine for that.  I can prescribe it," House assured her.  She gave him a hug and sniffled on his shoulder.  "Let me get that."

"I'll see if the pharmacy in town is open," Chase said, moving to call.  "I did turn the three boys in by the way."

"Good!  They need it from that list."

"Should I steam clean the furniture they're sitting on?" Xander asked dryly.

"Yes, use a good disinfectant and make sure they didn't transfer anything," Chase said.  "Ah, you are in.  This is Doctor Chase, at the DCIS infirmary.  I need to get one of the girls some anti-nausea medicine.  We can have them down there by then.  Thank you.  Yes, that's the one I want."  He smiled.  "Say thirty days, just in case.  Thank you."  He hung up, looking at Xander.  "They're open for twenty more minutes."

"Yes, Chase."  He went to get her pills for her.  On the way he paused at Sam.  "Tell Dad in there he has to talk with Crissy about talking to her boyfriend.  Let me go get her meds.  Also, we'll have to delouse the couch."  He went to pick up what they'd need.

Sam looked around.  "Crissy?" he called.  She came out looking miserable.  "Want some soup?"

"Not unless the medicine works.  I'm sorry, Sammy."

"It happens to girls every year."  He put an arm around her shoulders, walking her into the dorm.  John gave him an odd look.  "Xander went to get her anti-nausea medicine."

"Flu?" he asked, looking hopeful.  She subtly shook her head then shuddered.  He took a deep breath.  Dean handed him a bottle of water.  "Thanks, son.  Very supportive."

"Hey, you never had to have this talk with us," he said happily.

"If I did, I'd have killed the witch, son.  Unless I missed something while changing your diapers?"

"Hell no."

Crissy sniffled.  "Can I switch bodies with him?"

"No," John snorted.  "C'mon, dear.  Let's go have a parental sort of talk."  He snagged Wesley on the way past.  Xander came in a few minutes later, handing over her medicine and him a large bag of boxes.  He looked then at him.  "I take it you heard Chase had to call the health department on them?"

"I'm damn happy we got pushy to give them the new HPV vaccine," Xander said dryly.  "But no, I didn't get details."

"The first one came out with *two* bottles.  Chase'll send the rest."

Xander just nodded.  "We need to clean the couch or replace it."

"I'm all for replacing it," John told him.  "Beds too after tonight."

Wesley coughed.  "Why?"

"Crabs," Xander told him.

"Shellfish allergy just popped up?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm sure you've dated one girl who was nasty," John told him dryly.

"I had been hoping I had the wrong interpretation.  Pity.  Do we need to yell more?"

"Yes," John said.  "And get Giles to yell too."

"Not at you, Crissy.  I'll tell the asshole library ghost," he muttered.  "Wesley, burn the couch and anything else they've had contact with."  He looked at Dawn, who opened a portal with a head shake.  He walked through and it closed.  "Giles?"

"My office, Xander."  Xander walked that way.  "The girls who went earlier had a problem?"

"Yeah, the three guys they were sharing were dirty, nasty things with crabs."  Giles dropped his pen, giving him a horrified look.  "Chase put them on the appropriate medicines.  I got them the anti lice treatment.  You'll need to bleach sheets and might as well just toss the old furniture to be burned, Giles.  How Buffy and Caridad didn't pick it up I'm not sure."  Giles shuddered.  "Yeah.  But I do have some semi-happy news to go with that."

"Semi-happy?"

"You'll probably freak.  Which is why I'm not letting you go near her."

"One's engaged?"

"No.  One's pregnant."

Giles gaped, then spluttered.  "This is horrible!"

"Giles, we have fifty-eight girls.  She can take some time off."

"One of the ones here?"

"Crissy."

"In LA?"  Xander nodded.  "Is she dating Connor?" he asked, looking a bit confused.

"No, that's Morgan.  Crissy's the other one.  John and Wes are talking to her right now.  She passed out on patrol so Connor dragged her to the infirmary via Dawn."

Giles moaned, leaning back to look at him.  "What is she planning to do?"  Xander shrugged.  "Does she think she's keeping it?"

"She's known for all of a few minutes, Giles.  So far we've gotten her on medicine for the morning sickness because she's lost about ten pounds.  That's what made her pass out."

He took off his glasses to rub his eyes, muttering 'dear Lord' under his breath.  He put them back on.  "Well it is happier news.  I hope she's not infected?"

"Not that we know of."

"Good!  The others?"

"Chase turned the guys into the health department.  Let's just say some of the girls also have antibiotics."  He shuddered for real.  "Yeah, exactly.  How did you not notice the girls dating the same guy?"

"They'd go out and go on dates singly."

"Ah.  They were time sharing instead of sharing at the same time.  That makes more sense."

"How long have you known?"

"Six months.  That's why we started calling them the Springer Slayer squad," he said dryly, giving him a look.  "It was a broad hint but most of them are legal adults and sensible enough to not do stupid things."  He leaned on the doorframe.  "John needed throat drops after yelling at them."

"Good!  I hope I shall too!"

"Just don't have a stroke, Giles.  And don't yell at Crissy.  She realizes it was stupid.  I left her crying on John's shoulder.  He makes a good dad to the horde."

"I'll leave that to you.  Tell her I hope she makes a good decision that she won't regret.  You're right, we have enough girls to cover for her if she has to be taken off rotation."

Xander nodded.  "Thanks, Giles.  Anything you need from us?"

"A bigger building."

"Furniture as well," he reminded him.

"Oh, yes, they'll be handling that tomorrow."

"Things need to be clean so they can clean themselves," he pointed out.  "Killing the ones on them then laying on sheets that have them will mean another treatment."  Giles shuddered again.  "At least we have treatments for everything and we gave them the vaccine for the herpes virus, plus pills in case they get it anyway."

Giles looked at him.  "That's not a happy thought."

"In the old days it'd take a red-hot poker."

"Good point," he admitted.  "I have heard horror stories of burning rods applied to the inside of penises to cure such diseases."  He shook himself quickly.  "Anything else I should be aware of?"

"We're replacing our couch too," he said dryly.  Giles smiled at that.  "Have a drink and go to bed, Giles.  Yell at them tomorrow morning."  He nodded and Xander texted Dawn, getting the portal back.  He paused to look at it then came over to knock her out.  "You're exhausted again.  You can't do that to yourself."  He carried her to bed then came back down.  "Those of you who need to go to Cleveland, treat yourself.  She can send you before she has to go to school.  Then make sure you put your sheets in the wash tomorrow so they can be bleached.  We might have to replace mattresses too."  They groaned but went to handle that.  He went into the office.  "Giles said he hopes you make a decision that you'll be satisfied with.  He's not going to push you in any direction and I had to remind him we have fifty-eight of you girls."

She gave him a hug.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome.  You should tell Alan and your boyfriend."

"Can I have Don handcuff Charlie and my boyfriend?"

"Ask him, see what he says."

"That might not be a bad idea," she admitted.  "Would I have to come back here?"

He shrugged.  "I have no clue.  Ask Chase or House tomorrow when you go back."

"Yes, sir."  He patted her with a smile.  "Buffy?  Or Faith?"

"Buffy and Dawn got a letter from their father.  Faith I'm not sure.  Let me find them and tell them.  You tell the family out there.  But take video of Deadboy's face, okay?"  He smirked as he walked off.  "Oh, Faith, wherefore art thou?" he called loudly.

She leaned out of the computer room.  "Shakespeare?  You?" she taunted.

"Crissy can use a hug.  She's doing the countdown to nine."

Faith gaped.  She blinked a few times.  "Excuse me?  Did I hear you right?"

Xander nodded.  "She's lost ten pounds from the puking and passed out on patrol.  Connor brought her.  She's with John.  Do not yell," he said quietly, stopping her to stare in her eyes.  "We have enough to give her room."

"I'm going to let her cry on me, X.  This is horrible news!"  She got free and walked in there to hug the girl.  "It's all right, Crissy.  We'll be kick ass aunts.  Dress the baby in leather and give it baby stakes."  The girl laughed then burst into tears.  The older guys left them alone for a few minutes.  "I know, princess.  It'll work itself out."

Xander went to his place, finding Buffy staring at the unopened letter.  "Dawn's portal to Cleveland looked tired so I knocked her out."  He flopped down beside her, getting a long look.  "Crissy's preggers."

"What?"

"Crissy, in LA, is pregnant."

"Huh?" she asked.

"You know, that state where babies come from your hole and scream and give you misery for eighteen years?"

She closed her mouth with a snap.  "We sure?"

"Yup, saw the ultrasound House did to make sure it wasn't demon spawn like Cordy had."

She nodded once then sighed.  "She good?"

"No.  She's crying on Faith."  He stopped her.  "Don't yell at her, Buffy."

"I guess I won't."  She sighed and sat down.  "What about my girls?"

"Expect to pick out furniture since there's a serious run on Rid going on."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  Bleach the sheets, make sure the bed's not infected too.  We're getting a new couch."

"That's not a bad idea," she said, leaning against his arm.  "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."  He picked up the letter and slit it open, handing it to her.  "It's not going to bite.  Your dad's a normal."

"That too," she muttered, taking out the letter to look over.  She sighed, looking up at him.  "We may be having a little brother."

"Good for him.  Will this mother beat his ass too?"

"Don't know," she admitted.  She finished reading it and nodded.  "He's being transferred to the Asian office."

Xander pulled out his cellphone, dialing the number on the letter.  "Here, call.  It should be early but in the workday."

She listened to the greeting. "May I speak to Hank Summers please?"  She was transferred up to his secretary.  "This is his daughter Buffy.  He wanted me to contact him.  Please."  The secretary put him through.  "How dare you contact me after you couldn't even come see us after Mom died, shitbag."  Her father spluttered.  She got up to pace.  "Not only did Mom die a few years back, we tried nine times to find you.  You sent them back unopened.  Why would I care that you're being transferred anywhere but hell?  For that matter I hope the new one beats your ass like I want to, Dad.  Really."

Xander took the phone from her hand.  "Mr. Summers, this is Dawn's legal guardian."  The man ranted at that. "Oh, shut up.  You couldn't even have enough respect for your girls to see if they were doing okay after their mother died.  And yes, I do know very well they got to you.  Three had to be signed off on before being sent back.  It was your signature since the last two specified your secretary couldn't sign for you.  What did you want from your girls?  Loving adoration?"  He snorted at the continued complaints.  "You know what?  I'm not taking custody of the new one so I hope he has as great a mother as Joyce was before she died of a brain tumor.  Have a happy life and hopefully the Asian office will suit you when you besmirch someone's honor and they cut you into sushi."  He hung up and hugged her.  "It's all right."

"It's not.  He's my father."

"He's a sperm donor, Buffy.  Fathers have to be there."  She nodded, crying on him.  Someone knocked.  "Not now," he called.  Sam leaned in.  "Not now."

"Sure.  She okay?  Need anything?"

"No, tell Dawn she can skip tomorrow?"  Sam nodded, going to pass on that message.  Buffy looked up at him.  "You two will be eating ice cream all day I'm sure," he said dryly.  She nodded, going back to resting against his chest.  "Shh, you've got family in the rest of us."

She pulled back wiping her eyes.  "Yeah, I guess I do.  What do I do about the baby?"

"We ask to see if we can find the mother.  You can't hold it against him or her."

"True."  She smiled.  "I'll see if Giles will go with me."

"Go ahead."  She nodded, heading down to talk to Wesley to see if he could help her with that.  Xander looked up.  "She needed this stress?" he asked calmly.  Dean tapped then walked in.  "Buffy's having a bad day."

"I figured it wasn't happy news."

"She's about to have a half brother."

"Oooh."  He winced and walked out shaking his head after dropping the DVD.  "Marion said thanks."

"Not a problem."  Xander grabbed his keys and wallet, heading out to the supermarket.  He knew what his girls needed in the way of ice cream.  He ran into House on his way back to put up the ice cream.  "Try to take Dawn's mind off her family tomorrow?" he asked quietly.  House nodded.  "It's a half-brother."

"Crissy's?"

"No, they would've killed him if he had."

"Good!  Where is he?"

"Spain."

House nodded.  "If she comes to me I'll try, Xander.  What are you going to do about the eighteen counts of various diseases?"

"The same three repeatedly?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"Four repeated."

"I bought some Rid."

"That's a good start."

"We're getting new couches.  I warned Giles too.  He'll probably be buying new furniture too."

House nodded.  "Probably a very good idea.  Did he not have a clue?"

"Apparently us broadly hinting about the Springer Slayer squad went over his head.  Caridad knew but only frowned at them."

"John should spank," House said.

"John needs throat drops he yelled for so long," Xander said with a small grin.  House smirked back.  "Crissy wanted to know about when she had to give it up?"

"Yesterday.  If she's hit, she can miscarry anytime."

"Patrol?"

"Nope."

"Want her here?"

"We're supposed to leave in a month, kid."

Xander nodded.  "Think a regular OB can handle it?"

House considered it.  "I'd want to keep an eye on it just in case the slayer gifts get in the way.  Like the fast healing."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "Whatever you guys want."

"She's in college."

"She can sit and do research and check in then."

"Good point.  Thanks, House."  He went to finish putting up the ice cream, turning to find Buffy staring at him.  "Ben and Jerry's with the fudge fish?"  She smiled, taking a pint to eat while she took a walk.  Xander finished loading the freezer and put a note saying to leave Dawn and Buffy most of the ice cream tomorrow.  Then he went back to his own apartment.  He was exhausted.  He walked in and slapped himself on the forehead, heading down to Wes's office.  "Wes, the budget stuff?"

"I gave it out as a math assignment, Xander."  He smiled at him.  "Crissy is in her bed.  What did House say?"

"To have her check in.  No more patrolling as of yesterday.  She can do research.  He wants someone to make sure the slayer taint won't make it hard for her to carry but a normal OB might be okay."  He nodded at that.  "I have no idea how she's going to tell Alan or Don."

"She'll mange it.  Women have for years."

"Am I missing any paperwork?"

"No, Xander.  That's what Dean does for you.  He does the training reports and certification."  Xander gave him a tired look.  "You're doing three jobs, Xander.  You hired Dean and Samuel to help you.  Let them."

"I can do that.  I don't want to be the hanger-on though."

"You're not.  You're very important to the girls.  You train them to do a lot of things the boys haven't been able to.  Let us handle some of it."

Xander nodded.  "I can do that.  Want Carra to go to LA to fill in or Caridad?"

"How about Rona?" he suggested.  "Or Cho?"

"Cho could handle it," he agreed.  "I'll tell Giles."  He nodded but Wesley called.

"Rupert, it's Wesley.  We're going to move Cho out to LA to cover for Crissy.  Doctor House said she's not allowed to patrol.  No, Rupert, it's not a medical problem but any hit to her abdomen could make her miscarry and she's not ready to make a choice yet.  He said no patrolling from the moment she knows."  He nodded, making notes.  "We thought Cho could handle it fairly well and she's starting school this fall.  That would give her a semester at a very good school."

"A few out there have trimesters so she could start one of those," Xander said.  "Give her two sessions of classes to transfer."

"That is a good point.  Xander said a few of them offer trimesters.  Yes, like it sounds.  That would give her two sessions to transfer."  He smiled.  "It would and she does work very well with Morgan plus Angel doesn't mind her.  No, our second choice is Rona.  Buffy can handle Cleveland and dealing with the girls."

Xander took the phone.  "Giles, Buffy got a letter from her father," he said quietly.  He listened to him moan and complain.  "The man broke hiding to tell her she has a half- brother coming and he's being transferred to Asia somewhere."  Giles growled something.  "Exactly.  She's wandering around eating ice cream.  Please.  She might want to meet the new baby brother.  Not sure.  She's not either.  Sure, thanks, Giles."  He hung up and looked at him.  "She's off wandering."

"That's a good thing to do.  I'll call some contacts that way, see if we can find the mother for her."  Xander smiled.  "Now, all you have to do, that the others don't do, is the advanced training, look over their educational needs, and threaten any and all boyfriends.  Deal?"

"Deal.  Dawn's allowed to skip tomorrow."

"This will be her third one, Xander."

"Second.  She left after the alien blindsided her and bruised her ribs.  Her portal to get me back here was wavy earlier."

"Then I agree, she should have some time off.  This will be a bad emotional shock for her."  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Shoo.  You're tired as well."  Xander nodded, heading off to bed.  Wesley smiled, writing down Xander's duties so Giles would know as well.  That way no one else would overuse the boy.  It was nice how DCIS was slowly filling in all the spots Xander filled in for over there.

***

Don parked, letting Danny out of the car.  He got out and looked at the girl wandering.  "Buffy, shouldn't you be wearing a jacket?"

She shrugged.  "I'm only a bit chilly.  Thanks for asking, Agent Flack."

"It's Don, Buffy.  What's wrong?"

She looked at him.  "My father's a bastard."

"I figured there was some sort of story there since Xander has custody of Dawn."

She sighed, nodding.  "We tried nine different times to contact our father after Mom died.  Including ways that would make him sign the forms in person before sending it back unopened."  Don nodded, moving closer.  "He wrote today to tell me I have a new half- brother coming soon."

"Tell the mother what sort of shitbag he is so she'll know ta sue him," Danny told her.

She nodded.  "I want to but I don't want to hate her."

"Buffy, not like she was the reason your parents broke up," Don said gently.  "Was she?"

She shook her head.  "No, Dad fooled around back then.  That's why he got moved to Spain."  She ate another bite of ice cream.  "Why write to brag to me?"

"He has to; he's so pathetic no else will listen to his shit," Danny said bluntly.

"Maybe that's the reason."  She sighed and looked at them.  "Thanks, guys."

"Not a problem," Don promised.  "Now, go inside.  You're chilly and the ice cream isn't helping any."  She nodded, heading that way.  "God," he muttered, looking at Danny.

Danny nodded.  "During the Vegas thing, right before Dawn did the spell, Xander's uncle showed up ta blackmail him," he said quietly.

"Charming people they had."

"Joyce was nice," Danny said with a smile.  "Dawn pulled her back one day to yell at her sister and Giles."

"Good!  She sounds nice."  He made sure his car alarm was on and headed up with Danny so they could watch a movie...or whatever.  They were both tired so whatever might have to wait for a few days but they'd get there eventually.

***

Dawn finished letting the girls go home, right into an ambush of Giles yelling, and headed to find her sister.  She and Crissy were eating in the kitchen.  "Any cookie dough?"

"Someone stocked cookie dough Ben and Jerry's," Crissy offered.

"I caught Xander stocking," Buffy said with a grin.  The girls grinned back.  "We really have to do something nice for Xander.  He does tons for us and is clearly stressed out again."

"DCIS casework is stressing him out.  He's got an impossible one that not even Thomas can find in the books."  Dawn grabbed her ice cream and sat down.  "Okay, I'm awake and rested.  What did the letter say, Buff?"

"We have a half brother."  Dawn spluttered.  Thankfully she hadn't popped the top on her ice cream.  "He's being moved to Asia somewhere."

"Charming," Dawn sneered.  "Anything else?"

"I'm thinking about going over to meet him," she said.  "Would you mind?"

Dawn took a calming breath.  "We'll make sure the baby isn't tainted by his selfishness."

"She probably already knows," Buffy admitted. "But this way she can find out how bad it was on Mom too.  I'll introduce you and him too if you want."

She smiled.  "Take a picture of me.  I'm almost out of free days for a while."  Buffy nodded at that.  "Take pictures too."

"I will."  She smiled, patting Crissy's hand.  "Cho's going to take her place."

"Why?"  Dawn ate a bite of ice cream.

"I'm pregnant."

Dawn squealed, giving her a hug.  "I'll be a great auntie!" she said happily.  "Ooh, we'll have to get the baby shower ready so you get all the stuff you need.  We can even creep Connor out with some of the stuffed animals.  Maybe get a few puppets."

Buffy snickered. "That's mean, Dawn.  Angel doesn't need to be reminded of that.  Connor told me he still gasps from nightmares about being a puppet."  She took a bite of her ice cream.  "The medicine working, Crissy?"

"Amazingly well," she promised. "This is the first food I've eaten all week."  She ate another bite.  "I tried to hide it."

"You could've been killed," Buffy corrected.  "We deserve a normal life.  You can have one too."

She smiled.  "Yes, Buffy."  She ate another bite, looking at Dawn.  "Think you can get me home later?"

"Sure, not a prob.  I needed a recharge."  She nodded and went back to eating the ice cream.  It was good.  Her body needed extra calcium too.  "Just don't make the guys birth it," Dawn warned.  "They're still talking about the demon baby they had to help deliver right before the conference."  Buffy shuddered. "It was a baby slime demon, antlers and all."

"Eww."  She ate another bite of her ice cream.

"It wasn't so bad," Crissy admitted.  "We were trapped by an earthquake."  She put a hand on her stomach and counted backwards.  "Speaking of...  Huh, Carl's going to kill me."

"Are we not with him?" Buffy asked.

"No, he decided to cheat the night before his wedding," she said dryly.  "And I didn't know until he said goodbye the next morning telling me he had to get married."

Buffy snorted.  "Maybe you're more than a sister slayer.  Maybe you're really a Summers woman.  Mom had dad the dirtbag.  I had Angel, Spike, Parker, Riley, and the last guy I forgot the name of already.  Dawn?"

"Going causally.  There's a sorcerer near my teachers but they're watching him very carefully and I'm not doing more than being cute and flirting."

"Good!  I like that!  Remember, we get to give the shovel talk," Buffy said dryly.

She smirked.  "We'll see."  Buffy smirked at her.  "We will."  She ate another bite.  "We need to do something to blow off some stress.  Crissy, you'll need bigger clothes soon and there's a maternity store in the mall."

"We should," Buffy agreed.  They took their ice cream with them.  They deserved ice cream.

***

Crissy came out of the portal with the three bags, putting them aside before anyone saw them.  "Hi, guys."  She gave them a sheepish smile.  "Buffy and Dawn insisted it was the best cure to a bad day."

"It can be for some girls," Alan said, smiling at her.  "You wanted to talk to us?"

"Yes, but can I have a head start when you yell?"

"I'll yell?" Alan teased.

She nodded.  "Probably.  I did."  Alan gave her an odd look.  Don looked at the bags then at her.  "Yeah, kinda necessary.  You know that flu that wouldn't go away?"  They all nodded. "Remember Carl?  The dirtbag who was going to get married the next day?"  She let out a nervous laugh.  "Connor dragged me back to the infirmary last night when I passed out on patrol."  She sighed, sitting down.  "I'm sorry I'm a bad influence for Cor."

Alan blinked.  "You're pregnant?" he demanded.  She nodded.  "How far?"

"Few months.  He said fourteen weeks."

Don counted back.  "Yeah, that was the week of Carl the bastard."  He looked at her.  "So?"

She shrugged.  "I think I'll make a good mommy.  I hope.  If not, Xander and John said they'd give advice and I hope I can kinda get advice from you guys?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course you can," Alan said.  He gave her a hug.  "I should yell but you know it was an accident."

"And hey, I didn't catch any of the four diseases the girls in Cleveland got from sharing guys," she said helpfully.

Charlie coughed, shaking his head and blushing.  "Four?  That's talented."

"They were sharing a set of twins and junior at the college.  Six of the nine.  By the way, Cho is coming out to take my place.  I'm allowed to research but nothing else."

"Good!  That shows some sense!" Don assured her.  She smiled at that.  "I'll let you break my hand during labor but I am not delivering this one."   She sniffled but nodded, giving him a hug.  "It'll be all right.  You'll be a good mom.  Your kid will not turn into Connor, Xander, or Dean."  She laughed, giving him an extra squeeze.  "What about school?  It's almost Halloween.  That makes you due in April?"

She nodded.  "With any luck I won't have to take too much time off.  I might even go early during spring break."  Charlie smiled at that, shaking his head. "I could.  Doctor House wants me to check in now and then but I can get a local OB.  We're not sure if slayer healing might hurry the pregnancy or anything."

"We'll find out," Alan told her.  "Don can ask Megan if she knows any from her friends."  She nodded and let him hug her again.  "You tell Cordette but you listen to her squeal."

"I can do that.  Thank you for not yelling."

"We'll yell later," he promised with a smirk.

"Xander said the same thing.  John let me cry on him last night.  He said he was thankful Dean had never pissed off a witch and gone through this."  They all laughed.  "But I did get some cute maternity clothes for later on."

"Good," Don agreed.  "You're too tiny."

"I have pills for that now."

"Want us to tell Connor?" Don asked.  "He's not usually up on guy things."

"He was there when I had the ultrasound," she admitted.  "He dragged me through after I passed out."

"We'll explain it to him," Don promised.  "C'mon. You should eat.  Charlie, coming?"

"I'm having thoughts about the baby," he said, shaking himself free.

She got free of Alan's hug and pulled out something.  "Dean and Sammy made it mini weapons already," she said proudly.  They all smiled.  That was so like the Winchesters and other slayers.  They took her to lunch then home so she could rest.  Cordette could be told at dinner.  Crissy looked at Morgan.  "I'm sorry."

"You going to tell him?"

"He left to get married the next day."

"Oh, that shitbag.  Okay.  And?"

"Two more months and we find out if I need purple or purple."

Morgan smiled.  "Check, no pink and blue."

"Ooh, look.  Dean and Sammy handed them over earlier."  She showed her the little stake and the sword made from a large barrette, getting a coo at them.  "Dawn and Buffy took me shopping because their father finally wrote to announce he despoiled a virgin to give them a half-brother."

"Charming!"  She gave her a hug.  "We'll manage it.  When will Cho be here?"

"Tonight.  She's flying out.  We have to make sure none of the creepy crawlies came too."

"Creepy crawlies?" Morgan asked.

Crissy pulled her closer.  "The sharing ones got crabs and at least one other disease out of four the guys had together."

"Eww!" she said, getting free to shudder and scratch herself.  "That's just nasty!"

"Very.  Chase went on a rant," she said with a smirk.  "Turned them into the health department.  John went on a two-hour rant before he knew about that.  Then another hour long one after that from what I heard.  Then they went home to hear another one from Giles this morning.  Xander said they're all getting some new furniture."

"Yeah!  I'll make sure it's not in there."

"Good!  I don't need them either."

"Patrol?"

"Nope."

"That's fine.  You can go help Angel research."  That got an evil smirk.  Crissy pulled out the video camera and handed it over so they could go tell Angel.  They had to wake him up but he was used to them by now.  Them bursting into his room to wake him up by bouncing on the bed was usual.  He groaned, pushing at both of them.

"Hey, watch Junior in there!" Crissy complained.  Morgan caught his expression.

"Junior?"

She smirked and nodded.  "I'm knocked up."

Angel stared, mouth slightly open.  "Really?"  She nodded.  "You okay?"

"Now that they gave me something for the morning sickness, yeah."

Angel sat up, looking at her.  "Can you patrol?"

"Nope."

"Then you can help me research stuff, Crissy.  Who's coming out?"

"Cho.  One of the non diseased slayers."

"Eww," Morgan said.

"Sorry."

Angel looked down at Morgan then back at Crissy.  "I'll hear that later when it won't be recorded.  I want the name of your doctor as soon as you pick one.  Just in case."

"Yes, Angel."

"Is that a Xander just in case?" Morgan teased.

"You'd better hope not," he told her.  "Now, go eat and the take a nap.  You have to rest, Crissy."  He got up and carried her down to one of the spare rooms to tuck her in.  She needed her rest.  Being pregnant was a hard calling to have.  Even harder than being a slayer.  He growled when he caught Morgan taping it.  "Who is that for?"

"Buffy.  Her father wrote her.  She needed the cheering up."

Angel growled in a lower, more threatening key.  "He did?"

"Yup, he did.  He's being moved to Asia."

"Good!"  He brushed past her, going downstairs, avoiding all the spots of sunlight from long habit.  "Gunn, help Crissy find a decent OB please?" he called into the kitchen.  Way too much light in there.

Gunn gave him an odd look.  "OB?"  Angel nodded.  "We're sure?"   Angel nodded again.  "Well."  He smirked.  "Who's filling in since she won't be let on patrol?"

"Cho."

"I like Cho. She's sweet and quiet.  I'll see who my people see."  That got a nod and Angel went back to bed, locking his door this time.  Gunn brought some tea up to the girls, earning a smile.  "How bad was his look?"  Morgan replayed it for him, making him laugh.  "I'll see who we see and tell her."  He walked out.  Connor must be freaking out so he called him.  "Hey, Connor.  Gunn.  You okay?"  He listened to the confused young man.  "No, she's pregnant.  She's going to have a baby.  Not like you were born.  Crissy won't turn to dust.  I promise, man.  She'll do like the slime demon momma did."  That got a happier young man.  "She's here.  Angel tucked her into bed.  Sure, you can do that."

"She told Alan," Morgan said as she walked in.  "They dropped her off."

"We'll make sure she's protected if something bigger happens this spring," Gunn promised.  Connor said the same thing so he hung up.  "Who's left to tell?"

"Lorne in case someone has a plan and Cordette."

"That's cool.  I'll let you tell the mini-mouth."

"I'll swing by Lorne's on the way home too.  Oh, she said no pink and blue."

"Course not.  Girl has taste," Gunn said dryly.  She walked off laughing and he finished fixing his breakfast.  That was so cool.  The first of the next generation of greatness.  Born around easter.  Which was in the usual apocalypse season.  He went to look it up just in case the baby already had a prophecy about it.  Never could be too paranoid around them.

***

Xander looked around the hall that night then walked over to the boss.  "Am I missing reports?  I thought I was but I couldn't find any."

"Only if you're done with the one that's driving you nuts."

"No."

"Speed took your other one, Xander."

"Oh.  Thanks, Tim."

"Welcome, Xander.  Any luck?"

"Not a damn bit."

"Spirit, demon, or otherwise?" John called.

"Demon.  Higher level, not one I've ever heard of, even in rumors, and it's not in the books."  He went to get the case and showed it to him.

John read it over then called Bobby.  "That sleeper demon thing.  How long has it been asleep?"  He listened to his friend rattle off facts.  "Where was it stored, Greece somewhere?"  He nodded.  "No, Xander pulled it up in a case.  Why?"

"A lot of artifacts and it started to send psychics out of their heads when they got near it," Xander said, flipping the page to show him.  "In this museum.  When they were told it was demonic related they snorted and said 'so'.  They've had a few different psychics having seizures and 'that's one way for normal people to know who the freaks are' and left it there.  One's trying to sue them to shut it down.  The judge doesn't believe it's dangerous even though his daughter had a seizure."  John moaned.  "He made it out to be an epileptic who went into a museum knowing there could be flashing lights in some exhibits and threw it out.  I'm worried someone's going to get close enough to awaken the thing in the urn."

John listened.  "Bobby said he's not in an urn."

Xander pointed at the picture, sitting down.  "That urn.  That's the focus of all the seizures and it's calling out for someone to come open it and break it."

John grimaced.  "That's...  Any good pictures of the details on it?"

"No.  No one can get that close.  I sent someone from the local FBI office and they got shooed off.  Even with a warrant.  The judge did agree after his daughter had a seizure and they said she wasn't epileptic.  Just empathic slightly.  Even the most minor gifts are being set off."

John considered it.  "Yeah, that's what it looks like, Bobby.  Please.  We can play fax tag.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "We'll see what we can do, Xander.  Maybe a hunter can get close enough with a camera."

"They tried to take digital pictures first but they didn't come out at all.  It came out a black cloud," Xander said, staring at him.  "Regular photos came out but they're only this good."

John nodded.  "Then maybe Bobby can do something.  Where is it?"

"Near your old home town, in Kansas," he said quietly.

"Aw, shit," Dean said, leaning over to look.  "We saw that advertized.  They're even saying it's a demon exhibit.  Did Giles look?"

"Giles, Thomas, all of them.  Nothing was found."

John nodded once.  "Well, Bobby's like our version of a Watcher focusing on the higher demons.  There's a possibility he can trap it."

"I'm more worried it's like the hyena guy back in tenth grade.  He was doing a rite to be possessed by the hyenas," he said at their odd looks.  "That's what we stumbled into on the same day he was doing it.  Ruined a month of work for him."

"That's gotta suck," Dean decided.

"She's nice most of the time.  Huffs now and then too."  He shrugged.  "You get used to her and the soldier baiting each other."

"Yes, you do," Tim called, cracking Ryan up.  "Baiting the soldier back is fun too."

Xander scowled at him. "Don't remind me."

"Yay you.  Why did you not keep anything from when I possessed you?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  Why?"

"You kept the soldier's memories and training.  You kept the hyena's instincts.  You still can't stand to be in total silence because you think you're going to be attacked.  Yet you kept nothing from the time I spent in your head and I was in there longer than either of them."

"Maybe it's because they're baseline, useful memories I was already learning and science stuff is something that makes me feel stupid?" Xander suggested.

"That could be," Tim admitted.  He considered it.  "We should ask someone and see if you did keep some of the memories.  I've seen you helping collect evidence and Tony said you moved through a scene properly in Cleveland."

Xander shrugged.  "If you say so.  I did what seemed to be reasonable.  Science is a language I'll never understand, Tim.  That's probably what kept it from sticking."  He turned back around.  "Possess one of the girls, see if they get it."

"Me, me," one called, then cracked up laughing.

"You're still too young for me and Alexx would still have to agree," Speed shot back, making Horatio choke.  She smirked and he smirked back.  "Nice try though."

"Can I possess Xander then?"

"Only if you go evil," Sam quipped as he walked in.  He looked.  "I hate that urn."

"Me too," Xander said, folding it back up and putting it into his back waistband.  "I'm more worried about someone making it over to break it."

"It's too late in the year for a fall apocalypse," Faith said happily.  "The exhibit is being packed up again on New Year's."

"Halloween," he shot back, making her shudder.  "Pre, during, and post."

"Shit," she muttered.  "Are we sending someone?"

"The museum won't let us."

"Whatever you do, don't go and get possessed, Xander," Tony called, cracking Daniel up.  "You either, boss.  I do not want to tell Jack."

"If I do, I'll tell Jack myself," he promised dryly, shaking his head.  "Or I'll try Sam so he'll do an exorcism."

"We can do that," John and Sam agreed together, cracking the others up.

John looked at Xander.  "Think you need to keep them?"

"Yes, they're my stuffed animal and security blanket," he shot back dryly, giving him a look.

"Fine.  Whenever you're ready, we can get rid of them too."

Xander leaned closer.  "Then I'd be a normal Xander and people would die, John."  He leaned up again.  "Someone hand me my plate?"  They handed it down after refilling it for him.  "Thanks for the beans, Faith.  Did I need to fart?"

"Yup.  It'll keep the little heathens out of your place tonight."

"If it's like last time, it'll drive us out too," Sam teased, smirking at Xander.

"You can come stay in our dorm," one of the girls said with a wicked smirk.

John looked down at her.  "That's not a bad tactical plan but announcing it negates the act of surprise, dear.  I'll give it a two."

"I won't pounce."

"No but you'd facilitate the others pouncing," Dean taunted.

"No, watching them be frustrated without boyfriends is more fun."  She smirked at the glaring girls.  "It is."

"Behave, Mary," John ordered.

"Why?"

"Because good girls don't do things like that," Sam told her.  "Bad girls go to Cleveland."

They all cracked up at that.  Those girls would never live this down.  John shook his head but stuffed his mouth before he said something to his son.  Xander finished up and Sam wrote down Bobby's email and fax number for him.  Let them play some fax tag.  It might help their case.

***

Xander walked into the museum and the guard sneered, walking over to stop him.  "The last time I knew, there wasn't a policy about coming in to look at the exhibits," he said dryly.  "Even for me."

"You can't be in here, sir.  It's known to be a risk."

"I'm not psychic."  He stared him down.  "Now, move."  The guard backed up a step then sneered and moved forward again.  "Boys!" he called.  The two FBI agents with him came in to remove the guard.  "Thank you."  He walked into the exhibit hall, noticing the other three guards headed for him.  "This urn and exhibit is part of an active federal investigation.  You get in my way again and I'm shutting the whole museum down, which means you're out of a job until I'm done."  He walked into the room and paused.  Nothing.  Proved he wasn't psychic, no matter what the funky, creepy knights after Dawn thought.  He walked the multiple taping devices around.  He had an EMF sensor that was going nuts.  He had a few different forms of taping cameras.  Digital and regular video plus one of the older ones that used regular film like came on a roll.  He walked around each piece and took pictures of what he could, then turned to look at the urn last.  The supervisor was in the way.  "Move it, stupid.  I am a federal agent.  Here's my warrant to investigate these artifacts."  He handed him over.  "Get in my way and I'm having you arrested and shutting this place down."  He glared and the man glared back.  Xander ran the EMF meter over him.

"PKE meter?" he sneered.

"EMF meter.  Why do you read as radiated?"  He looked at him.  "Have you been playing with nuclear fissionables?"  The man went pale.  "Hey, guys, he reads in the uranium level on the EMF meter," he yelled.  The agents came in to pull him out to examine him.  They took the meter once Xander had taped it going over the urn.  Xander got closer to the urn, not getting anywhere near touching it.  He was having that itchy brain feeling he got when he borrowed Sam's vision the last time so he kept his hands at his sides.  He frowned, tipping his head.  "Someone had bad handwriting."

He pulled out his tape recorder.  "Side of the vase showing toward the room reads 'here lies the Angel, capitalized, of Dokken, spelled like the heavy metal band.  He is hereby interred with our best wishes for future greatness because our people have grown outside his wishes.  In order to save him the fate of wasting away we have entombed him so he may rest and gather strength until more people believe again."  He shifted.  "To the right side, looking at it, are pictographs depicting what looks like a fight.  Two warriors with boar spears.  One cloud with a face and ears.  Plus a pointy hat.  The urn is underneath the cloud.  There's something in the cloud's arm like thing but it's been worn down by time."

He looked around.  "Get me some sterile gloves please?  Leather or cotton.  Leather preferred."  One of the guards got him some and he calmly opened the case, listening to the alarm. "Good, they do have it alarmed.  I'm going to gently shift it out of the direct sunlight."  He did that, looking at the back of it.  "Herein lies the Demon of Dokken, he who has made us believe in him as being a God, capitalized," he read.  "He has taken us from our path to a path of idolatry. This time it's in Hebrew.  Before it was in Sanskrit if it matters.  The Hebrew goes on to say they had reinterred the demon for claiming to be a God and a messenger of heaven's greatness.  Again, the same warrior scene as on the side but this time the Hebrew is scratched in overtop of the picture and cloud."

He looked at the top.  "It's not visibly sealed that I can tell.  That means it's probably a blood seal from what I know about these."  He shifted it to the side he hadn't seen.  "Hmm.  Sanskrit again.  The pleasures of Heaven come in his touch and our lives are safe and sane because of his teachings.  Long live the Angel of Dokken, even though we no longer believe in him as the most powerful of all."  He put it carefully back into place and shut the case, which shut off the alarm.  "The case is reclosed.  I'm going to apply a lock to it."  He did that and sat down in front of it, taking pictures of the plaque the museum had put up.

"Agent Harris, are you nearly done?"

"Five more," he said.  "What's up with that guy?"

"He reads to ours too.  We sent him to the closest radiation treatment center just in case."

"That works."  He moved to the side, looking at the marks on the small thing behind it.  "I'll be damned, it's not just the urn."  He took special pictures of the small casket behind it, lifting it out carefully.  He put it on top of the case, looking at it.  Taking pictures from all sides.  "Shit.  Who put this in here.  Get one of the guards please?"  One of them was released and brought in.  "This was laying behind the urn.  What is it?"

He moved closer.  "No idea, sir."

"Any idea when it got here?"

"Had to be the same day or the sniffer dog would've sensed it the last time the Feds came through here."

Xander looked at him.  "One of these two things is causing the seizures."

The guard nodded.  "How?"

"That's supposedly got something trapped inside and this is a soul container," Xander said, holding it up.  "On it reads Egyptian."  He let him see.  "The soul of Meshkhent.  A thing to hold part of the God of the Dead so they could keep themselves from fully going over.  That way they could pass back and go on doing works like they thought were needed.  Probably because they thought Justice had failed or they wanted vengeance."  The guard shuddered.  "I need to film this."  He put it down and filmed it with each of the cameras and took back the EMF meter to take a good reading.  The thing taped its readings, long live Dean and his ideas!  He finished up and put it back into place.  "Do not touch that.  Do not let anyone touch that.  Not even a mouse."

"Can't you take it?" the guard asked.

"If we can find a reason.  Our boss started as an Egyptologist."  That got a relieved sigh.  "Just keep people away from that and the urn."

"Yes, sir.  Our director?  You had him taken."

"That's because he was bleeding radiation."

"That's not good."

"No, not good," Xander agreed, taking off the gloves to pat him on the arm.  He stared down at the crypt, it was now calling to him.  "Do not start," he warned.  The urn shouted and he pinched the bridge of his nose.  "Boys, not amused," he warned.  He looked at the curious looking Fed.  "Technically I suck in spirits."

"Do you make mystical gifts aport too?" he teased.

"Huh?" Xander asked.

"During seances mediums often conjure gifts from the dead," he said.

Xander shook his head.  "Never dealt with that kind.  I'm just easily possessed."  That Fed shuddered.  "Oh, come on, just because I had Tim Speedle inside me for nearly a year."  He grinned sweetly.  The urn howled and the crypt rocked.  The guard saw because he backed up slowly.  "Get me a lead box?" he asked.  "I'm taking them to the base."  That got a nod and they ran for it.  This museum was creeping the whole department out.  Xander put back on the gloves and carefully put each one in the separate compartments they had set up for containment.  He put the lid on and locked it down.  "There we go."  He called home.

"Boss, bringing home the urn containing an angel or a demon, depending on interpretation of the original people, and a crypt that started to scream at me when I took the gloves off.  Egyptian, miniature, naming part of Meshkhent's soul in it.  I was wearing gloves, boss.  I'm not possessed," he said sweetly then hung up.  "Paranoid," he told his phone, getting a laugh.  "Bring home one possession," Xander sighed.  He and the guard carried it out to the van the FBI had brought him in.  "Okay, guys, got to go to the airport.  If the director guy bitches or whines, send him to North Dakota.  They're both dangerous and started to move without being touched."  They gave him odd looks.  "What?  You expected normal from us?"

"Some of you, but only if they were recently hired and not fully sucked into you guys yet," the one driving said.  The other one shut the door and they drove him back to the airport as quickly as they could.  Because they wanted that *out* of their city.  Now.  Before they turned into Harris.  Which might be a fate worse than death for most of them.  They saw Xander back onto the DCIS plane and waved as it took off with the box.  Then they went to report to their boss so they could get his blessing on going out for a beer or ten that night.

***

Xander got out of Tony's car, walking around to get the containment box.  "Where in the lab are we setting up?" he asked Daniel when he came jogging out.  He handed over the cameras and tape recorder.

"Did you confiscate it?"

"The warrant the FBI agents and I got together said I could confiscate it if it was a danger to the public.  With the record of seizures and all that, yes.  Especially when they both started to scream."  Daniel moaned.  "By the way, the urn wants to be petted too but he likes virgins so keep the girls away?"

"Let me get Anna out of the lab.  Let's go set up in the containment area," Daniel decided.  He carried things up there.  "Abby, the stuff Xander and Tony are bringing up will eat virgins.  Clear the containment room and keep the girls out of the lab until it's sealed again."  She nodded, going to move Anna to a safer location.  Tony and Xander walked the box in together and sealed themselves in the biohazard lab.  She sighed, heading to change and go help.  Speed came to help her too, earning a smile.  "Hoping Xander's not possessed?"

"Not funny," Xander called.  "Out, Abby.  The demon likes women as sacrifices and I'm doubting he's going to be picky after this long."

"I'll help," Speed said, walking in and nearly falling down as the voices hit his mind.  "Ow," he said weakly.  Abby pulled him out.  She was drawn to go in there and pet the urn too so she slammed the door and locked them in.  Daniel smiled at her for that.  "What is that?" he demanded.

"Really bad news."

"I'd guess.  Let me get Sammy."  He stumbled over to the phone.  "Sammy, got a painkiller that'll work when the demonic voices get to you?" he asked, rubbing his forehead.  "Yeah, Xander's back."  He looked up.  "And Daniel is swearing up a storm in the containment lab.  Two demonic artifacts I think.  Both of them screamed.  Sure.  We're going to evacuate the lab floor for now since Abby wants to go back in there.  Thanks, man."  He hit the evacuation button, looking at the pissed techs.  "Guys, they have two demonic things in the containment lab and it's bad," he said calmly.  "Like demonic voices screaming and wanting Abby bad.  Clear the lab floor, now."  They fled, taking Abby and Annabelle with them.  Speed checked and turned off the alarm, getting a nod from Tony for that.  He left, running into Sam and John, who were armed.  "Guys, they're already in boxes."  He went down to the infirmary.  "Hey, House, got anything for a headache from the demons?"

"They've given me many," he said grimly but got him a vial of the pain killer they used.  "Here."

"Thanks.  Xander brought back two infected things that screamed at me to get them away from him."  He took it and walked off, heading to take a short nap at his desk.  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "No going onto the lab floor," he announced.  Everyone stared at him.  "Xander brought back the damned urn and another thing that screamed at me to release it and get it away from Xander."  He sat down and leaned back.  "So stay out of there."

"You okay?" Eric asked.

"I'm fine now.  I had a pain killer.  Now I need a nap.  It was trying to get Abby so really, no females up there and it's better if we keep it evacuated."

Horatio rolled his chair over to work on Speed's shoulders for him, getting a small moan of pleasure.  "Relax.  Let it go, Speed.  You always did keep stress."  Speed nodded, letting his friend soothe him into a nap.  They'd keep him away from the demonic voices that were way too loud.

***

John tapped on the window and held up a sign asking if they could help.  Daniel nodded and let them in.  "Speed cleared the lab, guys.  What is that?"

"They yelled at Speed to get them away from me," Xander said dryly.  "Don't know *why*.  They're apparently cranky because I didn't pet them on the flight back."  He glared at the boxes and he quit hearing them for a minute.  "Ah, better."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Now what, Daniel?"

"We have to take good markings off them.  Rubbings if possible."

"It might release it," Sammy said.  He moved within ten feet and grabbed his head.  John sent him out of the lab and slammed the door again.  "Hey!" he shouted.

"The other psychics had seizures.  You're not," John called.  "I'm not losing you to this demon after we got rid of the other one."

"Yes, sir."  He went to get some pain killers for them, because Xander would be aching soon.  He walked into the infirmary a few minutes later.  "We might want to prepare the exorcism ward, guys.  Xander brought back two demonically possessed items and they're very loud.  Annoyingly loud."  House tossed over a bottle of painkiller.  "I love you, dude.  Thanks."

"Is this the same one that was causing seizures?" Chase asked.  Sam nodded while he swallowed.  "Charming!  How likely are we to see Xander again?"

Sam looked at him.  "I got about ten feet from it before my head started to throb.  Two different demon possessed artifacts."  House stared at him.  Sam nodded.  "Dad's up there with Daniel, Tony, and Xander.  I'd at least give Xander a bed, just in case the usual happens."

"Chase," House ordered.

"Going," he agreed, going to make sure the bed with the straps was ready for them and they had extra straps just in case for the others.

Sam looked at House.  "Any luck on getting away from us?"

"Not yet and Cuddy's off touring the countryside with the ducklings."  He gave him a wry look.  "She's off to terrorize young men into being pathologically scared of women."

"Nearly worked on me," Sam quipped, earning a small smile.  "You could stay for another six months."

"It might be a possibility.  We'll have to see.  Anything else I should know?"

"Speed had the lab cleared and one of them likes women, particularly virgins but you know how hard a virgin is to find these days."

House snickered.  "I never go looking for one.  I hate breaking them in."  Sam walked off giggling at that.  Chase came back.  "Sam said one of them likes virgins so you should probably stay away."

Chase gave him an odd look.  "I haven't been one of those since I was fifteen, House."

House smirked at him.  "After seven years they say it grows back."

"Still doesn't apply to me and I don't have to pay for it."

House clapped a hand over his chest.  "Ooh, low blow, wombat.  I only pay when I want something better than a drunk bitch from the bar."

Chase snorted.  "My last date came from a museum, not a bar."  He walked off smirking.  He had won an argument with House!  Yes, there was a God who had a sense of humor!

"Prove it," House called after him.

"The pictures are in my apartment," he called back. He leaned into the infirmary again.  "Unfortunately I wouldn't let her be kinky and tape things.  Not my style."  He smiled sweetly and left again, going to straighten up his place.   House was cackling so he was happy.  He had still won the argument!  He nearly did a happy dance in the elevator but he knew it was taped and House would somehow get a copy to embarrass him at home.

"I used to get women like that," House reminded himself.  "Stupid Stacey."

Sam walked back in, giving him a look.  "Quit pouting.  It's pitiful and the girls will pounce you."

"Why are you back?"

"Anna just slipped on the ice.  Dean's bringing her in whining about not needing to be back in here."

"I'll warm up the x-ray machine," he said, going to do that.  Annabelle was a tough patient but he liked the girl.  He gave her a look for her whining.  "Keep it up, kiddo.  With how nice you usually are you nearly talked me into having some spawns of satan and Barney some day."

She gave him an odd look.  "I encouraged you to have kids?"

"You're cute, nice, have a mouth on you."  She giggled at that.  "I figured somehow it might not be *so* bad, but you ruin it with the whining when you need medical attention.  I could never have a kid that hated my job."

"Pity but I'm still too tough to need to be back here."

"Don't make me call Xander from the possessed things," House told her.

"Possessed things?"

"Two," Dean agreed.  "Both higher level demons."

"Crap.  We'll have to check him later."

"Dad's up there, Anna," Dean promised.

"Can we check anyway?" she asked, giving him a begging look.

"Only if he needs the special room.  What did you hurt this time?"

"Same leg from thigh down to her ankle," Dean said.  "She's got a few scrapes too."

House nodded, helping her undress so they could do the x-rays and Dean could tell Wesley what had happened while he finished bandaging cuts.  The film developed and looked over, then he stared at her.  "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked, looking amused.  "I'm talented.  I can do many things.  Just ask Faith."

"Not that sort of talented, Anna."  He let her see the x-ray, making her whine.  "Stop it or I'll put on a real cast."  She slumped but nodded, letting him put on her soft cast.  "There we go.  Only remove it to shower and change clothes.  Shower sitting down, just like last time."

"Yes, Doctor House," she said sullenly.

"Need something for the pain?" he asked.

She looked at him.  "Nope.  I don't want to need it."

He leaned down.  "You only need it if you get it all the time," he said quietly, staring her down.  "Taking it as needed cures that."

She nodded.  "Please?" she asked quietly.  He got her something and handed it over.  "Thank you, Doctor House."  She took it and gave him a hug.  "I like you.  No matter what the other girls say about you being mean."  He smiled and patted her on the head.  He even helped her to stand up so she could hop off.  "How long?" she asked as she hopped.

"Two weeks then we'll take another x-ray."

"Yes, Doctor House.  Thank you."

"Welcome, Anna."  He shook his head, going to make a note in her chart.  It was getting pretty full. He emailed a note to the school to extend her excuse for gym class, citing she had slipped on some ice and refractured the old break.  The principal would not be happy but yay him.  House went up to get a snack, finding Dean stomping his way.  "She rebroke it."

"Wonderful.  How long?"

"Two weeks.  Go salt that spot."

"Did.  Got onto the maintenance guys.  They're not happy either."

House smirked.  "It's a gift when you can make others miserable by being yourself."  He strolled off as casually as he ever managed with his cane, going back to the infirmary in case someone else fell.  Who happened to be Faith.  She limped in and made whining noises.  "X-ray," he said with a point.  She limped that way and he went to check her over too.  Fractured her foot.  Wonderful for her since she liked heels.  "Flat shoes, Faith. Slippers if possible.  Only flat shoes or I'm sticking you in a cast."

"Must you?" she whined.

He looked at her.  "I got that from Anna too.  Stop it.  Be a good example or I'm telling Wesley."

"Yes, House."  She let him take off her high heel boot and hand her crutches.  "Thank you.  Stuff for the ache?"  He got her some and she hopped off once she got a few bandaids for her knee.  The maintenance guys salting the sidewalk got glared at.  "How can I patrol when slipping on that stuff means I broke my foot?" she asked bitterly.  "The world's going to go to hell and only Buffy and Xander can handle it."  She went to their tv room, finding Dean in there.  She flopped down beside him, leaning her head on his arm.  "I feel rotten."

"Broken?"

"Fractured."

"Wonderful."

"That means B and X will have to fill in for me."

He patted her knee.  "It'll be okay, Faith.  I promise. It'll only be a few weeks and the next apocalypse is either in the lab or this spring.  Even Anna should quit hopping by then."  She smiled and nodded, putting her foot up.  "Good idea.  Need some ice?"

"Please?"  He went to get her an ice pack while she got comfortable watching the car show he was.  "Are you having penis statement envy?" she asked when he came back.

"Looking at this year's model of my baby."  He plopped the ice pack down for her then sat down.  "It has air conditioning.  How cheesy and unmacho is that?"

She looked at him. "It's nice on the hot days."

He glared.  "It's not necessary and why bother?  Messing up your hair is more fun."

"Uh-huh."  She pulled him closer to use his shoulder as a pillow again and watched the car show with him.  At least it'd help her sleep.

Dean smirked at the first snore and went back to the football game.  It was a weak ploy but it worked.  Wesley gave them an odd look. "Slipped on the ice.  Anna too."

"Did we tell someone?" he demanded.

"They're not happy."

"They're going to be even less happy should one of the teenagers slip and fall.  They will complain about their hairdos."  He walked off to talk to them about their lack of work around the dorm.  They'd even made the girls shovel the snow recently.  He came back a moment later.  "They're not out there.  Where is Doctor Jackson?"

"With Xander, Tony, Dad, and two possessed artifacts," Dean said dryly.

"Oh, dear Lord," he muttered, going up to the lab to see if he could be of help.  He knocked politely on the glass but John looked and shook his head.  "You're sure?" he called.  John nodded.  "All right then.  Should I warn the infirmary?"  John nodded more quickly so he went to do that.  "House, John seemed to think it would be prudent to get beds ready for at least Xander since they've got demon possessed artifacts.  I asked and he nodded quite quickly that you should be warned."

"Already got one bed ready and the extra straps for the other ones, Wesley.  Quit being so uptight before you make the rest of us uptight and British by contagion."

"I didn't know I was contagious," he said smugly.  He walked off, going back to watch what was going on so he could take notes.  It was fairly fascinating.  Xander did bring some horrible things into their lives in a fun way.

***

Xander looked at the others.  "Are we sure about this?" he asked again.  For the third time.

"You're the only one who can hear them," Tony reminded him.  "They're calling out to be petted."

"Only the urn.  Which is really destroying my sense of manhood.  He goes for virginal girls, which I'm not."

"So he's slumming," John joked, smirking at him.  "Pet it, Xander."

"Fine," he muttered, petting the vase.  He closed his eyes, feeling the spirit trying to seep out.  "It was soul sealed."  They groaned.  "I can feel the barrier.  Not just blood but soul."  He looked at them.  "She's desperate to get out too.  She's one of the hermie demons who change form to suit their audience.  We're all male so she's a she at the moment."

"Is she saying anything?" Daniel asked.

"Only if I open it."

"I don't think that's wise," Daniel offered, looking over the crypt-like soul vault.

"No, probably not," Tony admitted.  "But it'll get it unpossessed."

"Yes but remember, we can't fully unpossess me either," Xander quipped with a grin.  "Or else the priest in town wouldn't say a special prayer that I get unstuck every Friday night before he goes to bed."

John groaned.  "He told you this?"

"Yeah, the same guy that got you unpossessed," Xander sad dryly, smirking at him.  "Somehow he felt my prior ones."

"Yeah, that's probably a good thing," Tony decided, shaking his head quickly.  "Daniel, you're the boss."

Daniel looked up at them.  "Do you really need another voice, Xander?"

"No.  They want me to."

"I don't want you to die from it."

"Me either!"

Daniel smiled.  "Are we *sure* we can get him unstuck if it comes out?" Daniel asked.  John nodded.  "Without calling in two priests and watching for pea soup?"

"Eww," Xander told him.

"Very and nasty to clean up.  Pea soup plus stomach acid will be hell on my clothes," Tony joked.

John looked at him.  "That's why hunters wear jeans and t-shirts."

"Yeah, but I've got to look good for the ladies," Tony quipped back with a grin.

"Guys, spirit, bad thing?" Xander pointed out.  "Which you had me touch and now I can't let go of?"  John tried to help and got tossed against the glass of the lab, nearly knocking him out.

Tony looked then at him. "Magical superglue?"

"Possibly."  He tried to pull his hand away again.  "Danny, can you maybe figure out that artifact while this one tries to eat me and own me?"

"Sure, Xander."  He turned on the tape recorder.  "Go ahead."

Xander sighed and did what the urn wanted, releasing the spirit.  "This one is highly prized," the demon's voice said through Xander's mouth.  "He is a good choice to bring to me as my new high priest."

"We didn't," Tony told him.  "We don't like your kind of demon."

"I'm not."

"You're not an angel," Daniel said.

"Mostly, that is a matter of opinion.  For one who has gone to the heavens and come back, it is strange you do not know the truth of life."

"They sent me back without any memories," Daniel said, giving the demon inside his friend a look.  "Anything else or can you go back to your nap?"

"No, I'm quite comfortable in here."  He closed his eyes and felt the body again.  "Hmm.  Much in the way of comfort.  Much in the way of want and need.  Much in the way of being desired by many higher ups."

"Who?" John moaned, making himself stand up.  "Who wants the boy?"

"Alocer.  Amduscias.  Andrealphus.  Their master Asmodeus.  Anamelech once wanted him and was promised him but he failed to deliver.  He also has an Agathodemon looking out for him.  Very interesting what they will do for him.  It has protected him for a very long time."  He looked at Daniel.  "You do interest us.  This is not your field or your concern."

"They made it my concern," he corrected.  "Xander is a friend and a coworker."

John walked over.  "Three princes of hell and their boss?  Why do they want the boy?"

"He has much talent for the right side to use," the demon said smugly.  "What helps the tainted ones who deal with the lesser ones would help us just as much."  He sniffed John.  "Hmm, hatred, jealousy, lust.  Not for this one though."

"I miss my wife now and then," he told him dryly.  "Anything else we should know?"

"No.  The boy is very comfortable."  The boy's body moved.  "What are you doing?" she demanded.  "No, do not touch that!"

Xander's regular voice snorted.  "Bitch, not like I don't have a bit of control since it's my body."  He opened the coffin and a bit of steam popped out, surrounding him and taking the demon with him.  "Great One, please send this one where she belongs?" he prayed in Latin.  "Pretty please?"  The voice inside the crypt whispered the demon would be gone.  That is why the crypt was placed nearby, so the demon could be moved back to its own world.  The dead should not speak through the living.  Then the crypt closed itself and Xander was free.

John pulled out a small bottle of holy water, splashing Xander.  Who yelped.  "Looks like we're going to be doing this for you, Xander."

"He got most of her!" he defended.

"Yay.  Keep it up and I'm telling the girls so they fuss."

"You wouldn't," he said, glaring at his buddy.

"I would and I'll tell Annabelle first," he promised.  "March, Xander."  He walked him off, taking him down to the possession room so they could get to work on the boy.  Having the slayers fuss over him might make the demon happy so he wouldn't do that but he knew that Xander hated to be fussed over.  Especially by the slayers.  It was a good threat.

Daniel went back to translating, reading what he saw into the tape recorder while Tony cleaned up the mess the demon had left.  "It is never boring around here," Tony said. "Even on paperwork days."

Daniel looked at him.  "I could learn to like boring."

"No, you wouldn't.  You'd call up Jack for a poker game or some fishing."

"Well, yeah," he admitted.  He went back to it.  "Think it's safe?"

"The urn is."  Wesley came in when he waved.  "Who are Alocer, Amduscias, Andrealphus, Asmodeus, and Anamelech?  The demon said they wanted Xander."

Wesley nearly fainted.  "That's a very bad thing."

"How bad?" Daniel asked.

"Amduscias is a grand duke in hell who commands 29 legions according to legend.  Asmodeus is the one who was Satan before Lucifer fell."  Tony shuddered at that.  "Alocer is Grand Duke of  Hades, ruler of 36 infernal legions. He's described as appearing in the form of a Soldier or Warrior.  All of them are known to be givers of good familiars and the reason the liberal arts were taught, but also some associate them with astrology."

"And the last one?" Daniel asked.  "I've heard of it but I don't remember right off."

"Anamelech is an obscure demon who was worshiped at Sepharvaim, an Assyrian town where children were burned on his and Adramelech's altars.  It's one of a pair, one was the moon and the other the sun but I don't remember which was which right off the top of my head.  Any others?  Or should I fear to ask?"  Daniel rewound the tape and he smiled.  "That last one is like having a good genie looking out for you; it's a guardian spirit to protect you."

"Thankfully!" Tony said, walking off shaking his head.  "Too strange for me, boss, going to get plastered."

"Write your report in the morning," Daniel called after him, looking at Wesley.  "Why him?  Beyond the fact that he could lead to a lot of great victories?  They've got to have battle planners."

"Yes, but Xander is unique.  The Powers don't watch over him.  They consider him beneath their worry so they don't plan for him, don't put him into any prophecies usually, or watch what he's going to do.  Any action he takes is unusual and shocking to them."

"He's a wildcard," Daniel said, suddenly getting it.  "It's how he messed up so many prophecies."  Wesley smiled and nodded.  "Then why do they want him so badly?  Aren't there others?"

"Not who do important things.  Added onto that is that he is a warrior for the light.  A chosen, unacknowledged champion for the Light.  Even the slayer spirit likes him.  He's had contact with it a number of times."

Daniel considered that.  "So he's on the hit list for being the warrior he is, but with the Powers ignoring him most of the time they're salivating?"

"Exactly.  If they could turn him and recruit him, it would be a major gain on the side of evil.  Especially if they could get Xander to use any latent gifts he may have."

"He created a palm light like Dawn does when he came back from christening his temple."

Wesley nodded.  "He has latent magic, we all knew that already.  The same as he won't acknowledge that he's a seer.  To him it's a non-issue as he says.  Something to endure and push away because it would allow the Powers to punish them for being arrogant and ignoring him."

"Why punish him for their screw up?"

"The Powers aren't going to take responsibility, Daniel.  They never have and I doubt they ever shall.  That's why they helped the watchers go after the girls after the First Evil battle.  Even though Dawn had them masked," he said at his horrified look.  "That's why she went after them to yell and scream about their precious balance.  Which is why Xander went to help her and they found the nice teachers.  They told him then he was beneath their notice.  Xander proved them wrong and may have blown up one of their meeting areas."  He smirked.  "Xander was in a foul temper that night with the head injury and the rib issue he had."

"I remember."  He leaned a hip against the table.  He licked his lips while he thought.  "Seers are high on the hit list?"

"As high as anything but healers.  Concubine demons are right below seers."

"So he's got their top ten for three reasons."

"Indeed, and he doesn't seem to care most of the time," Wesley pointed out.

"That's good but is that arrogance?"

"Xander has decided death will come when it comes.  Until then, he'll do what he can and live all he can.  I'm almost surprised the soul vault wasn't to Ammit."

"What do we do with these?"

Wesley checked the urn.  "It's totally neutral now.  It can be sent back.  The crypt I'd bury somewhere safe.  I have the feeling if Buffy gets near it, it'll take her too."

"That's why I feel a pull to it probably.  I've died a few times," Daniel admitted.

Wesley nodded.  "That could well be."  He patted him on the arm.  "If you want, I can have a full background on those demons pulled together."

"Please.  Just in case."  He smiled.  "I must be getting his feelings."

"It's possible.  Or it could be intuition."  He walked off, going to start the research portion of his day.  Daniel gathered the urn up and repacked it.  The box needed some special handling.  He carefully picked it up.  "Got any idea where you want to go now that you don't need to be near the urn in case the demon comes back?"  It whispered to him and he smirked.  "The real one or the Gou'ald?"  The crypt moaned at that.  It whispered something.  "I can do that."  He went to call the FBI office in that town, leaving it on his desk.

"This is Daniel Jackson, I need to speak to the agents who went with my agent earlier."  He got connected through.  "No, Xander's fine.  We fixed the urn.  The demon's gone.  We'll gladly return the urn to him.  Did he mention a soul vault or a small crypt marked to an Egyptian God of the Dead?"  The agent said he had only mentioned the urn, repeatedly, and he would've mentioned that.  "I'll bring it back personally tomorrow to him now that it's fixed.  Thank you."  He hung up and patted the top of the crypt.  "We'll see what we can do.  I know someone at one of the bigger museums.  They think I'm insane."  The vault laughed and he smirked back.  "I figured out the pyramids.  They mostly know after the one attack.  Pity."

***

Daniel walked into the New York Museum of Natural History, heading for the work areas.  He smiled in remembrance.  "I grew up around here," he said quietly, petting the vault.  It hummed in pleasure when they bypassed some of the Egyptian exhibit.  He found who he was wanting and knocked.  "Got ten?"

"Daniel Jackson?" she asked, looking confused.

"Yeah."  He smirked, nodding so she followed him to an empty room.  "I'm running DCIS now."

"You're joking," she demanded, giving him a dirty look.

"No."

"How did you guys make all the dragons?"

"The shield blinked."  He shrugged.  "I was off translating for a treaty.  Xander had to handle it.  Yesterday he went to handle an urn that was causing seizures.  While there he found this with it.  It's not on that museum's rolls.  It's not in their inventory.  I had him check and I double checked."  He put the vault in front of her.  She moaned.  "We didn't do any carbon dating but it's clearly a soul crypt for one who wanted to cheat death and come back."

She pulled out her work gloves and put them on, picking it up to look at.  "You were touching it without gloves?"

"It likes me," Daniel said dryly.  The thing shook in her hand and she put it down quickly, lifting the lid a bit to peek inside.  The trapped being decided to help him by talking to her.  He grinned.  "Like I said, it likes me."  He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the table.  "Since it's not on that museum's inventory, I asked the judge that gave us the warrant to confiscate the urn.  He said to get it to someone safe because that guy's in trouble.  It would fit in well here."

She looked at him.  "The judge said to hand it over?"

"He's showing signs of radiation poisoning and he blatantly let the urn that was giving seizures keep doing it, on purpose, even when his own daughter got caught."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  We fixed that and this was sitting behind it.  I didn't think you had one of these.  Usually the family snuck in to take them back and it's in nearly perfect condition."

"It is."  She smiled at him.  "Let me get our director.  Though, he does hate your theories."

"He was where during the invasion?"

"Well...."  She grimaced.  "Point."  She went to find the director.  "Sir, I have a Federal Director giving us an artifact found on a bust by judicial order," she said in his ear when she found him overseeing an exhibit.  He looked at her.  "The head of DCIS is here."

"Why?"

"That urn that was giving seizures turned into their case."

"Of course it did," he sneered.

"They found an unlisted soul crypt at the same spot.  The other museum doesn't have it in the inventory or any paperwork on it so the judge said to give it to someone safe.  We're deemed safe."

He smiled.  "Cracked?"

"Perfectly whole."

"Oh, my.  Who came?"

"Jackson himself, sir."

He moaned.  "I hate that man."

"Apparently he was right," she pointed out.  "At least he found a way for his theories to be proven.  If all the cranks had a way to prove or disprove their theories, we'd be in real trouble."  He laughed at that.  "Anyway, DCIS brought it."

"How did they do the dragons?"

"He said some sort of shield fell.  He was off helping translate a treaty."  She led him back, finding Daniel talking to the box.  She coughed.  "Xander?"

"The agent who found it."  He shrugged.  "It likes Xander.  Who knows."  He nodded at his father's former friend.  "Morning."

"Daniel."  He came in to look over the box, taking out his own work gloves so he could pick it up.  "It's in nearly perfect condition," he said in awe.

"It is.  It was hiding behind the urn that was giving seizures."  He had to catch the box when the man holding it got sucked back into the box.  "Hey!"

The box shifted once he had put it down.  "The one who brings him to life disobeyed and left our halls years ago.  It was his time to return and more than."  The other museum worker gaped.  "He is where he belongs."

"You want to stay here?"

"I would be most honored."

"Then we'll find you a good spot," she said, carefully picking it up.  "Just don't eat anyone else."

"Only if they have seriously cheated death in a way that is illegal.  Not those who simply come back due to medicine."

"Thanks."  She carried it out.  "Guys, call someone.  The director touched this box and died of a heart attack."

Daniel walked off shaking his head, going to help set the box up.  He opened a case with a wink for her.  It was put into the case with the altar set up to Anubis, earning a groan of pleasure.  "Just don't turn to dust."

"I will not.  He was not the soul I search for.  Even then, I'll be a pretty box."  They nodded and sealed him in there, then she went to fix the card and talk to the police.  A junior member brought in the new card and inserted it with a nod at Daniel.  The box shifted once to be highlighted better but it was content to stay there, as was its rightful place.

Daniel went with the police when they showed up, getting some odd looks when he pulled his ID.  He told them why he was there and it was good enough for them.  He got to go home after finding some lunch and hitting a deli for Danny, Don, and Stella.  They had asked so nicely after breakfast.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Finding a Spot

"You should bow to me," a female voice whispered in the dream realm Xander was currently on.

"What is it with you guys and dreams?" Xander demanded, looking around.  "By the way, suckier than the demon's version."

The female voice laughed.  "It does not matter.  You are not the one who makes these decisions.  I am.  As is my calling."

"And who are you?" he asked dryly, crossing his arms over his chest.  He looked down at himself then changed from the bunny slippers and boxers he had on to real clothes he could fight in if necessary.  "Might want to give me a clue, woman.  Not like I care."

"You are one who has gone up to heaven and come back, yet you do not know a God?" the voice demanded.

Xander snickered.  "Lady, wrong mind.  You want Daniel.  He lives in the other building.  I'm Xander.  If I ever ascend, heaven's going to be one big orgy of bad girls."

She snorted.  "Then we shall see, won't we?  A fitting warrior to add to my loyal forces.  One who will be there when things fall in on that pathetic mountain."

He laughed.  "Yeah, right.  Because Jack and them can't handle you?  They have been for *years* and not like you're going to get me to be loyal to you.  I've got plenty of women in my life already.  Thanks anyway.  We done yet?  I actually need the sleep I'm missing.  The girls are going to be *so* pissed with me being cranky in the morning.  By the way, who are you again?  Haven't given me a name yet."

"I am Ammit.  Eater of the dead who are judged to be faulty."

"Uh-huh," he said, feeling another presence show up.  "And why are you bothering my sleep?  You can't be too good at it if you're in the wrong head, lady."

"You will be mine," she hissed.

"Nope, don't think so.  You're not my type."  He looked around, shrugging at the body he could feel in the mists.  "Anything else?  I've got to go now."

"The pathetic mortals will fall to the Gods, boy.  Then what will you do?  Who will you serve?"

Xander manifested a sword.  "Lady, if the mountain falls, all the people have to do is ask.  Not like I haven't fought against demons in the past.  Fake gods?"  He snorted.  "Please! Don't make me laugh.  If you can be killed, you're not a god."  She appeared and he glared at her.  "Not like I'd serve you.  You're hideous.  You're pushy.  You're arrogant, and I'm better than you'll ever be."  She rushed him and he stabbed her then cut into the back of her neck, severing the symbiot like he had been told to do if he ever ran into one.  He leaned down, kicking her onto her back.  "Now, anything else, lady?  Not like you'll win.  This isn't the old days.  People are a lot tougher."

"We are gods.  Yours doesn't come when you call on Him."

"I don't do that faith.  Sorry."  He smirked, wiggling his fingers.  "Not my thing.  Mine come when I ask politely.  Remember, there are older ways."  He stood up again, staring down at her.  "A *real* God couldn't be killed."  He stabbed her in the chest, making her die.  "Later."  He concentrated and made himself wake up.  "Damn it, I hate those," he muttered.  He got up to write it out, just in case.

"Who is Ammit?" Dean yelled.

Xander smiled.  "Worked with Anubis to eat the bad souls," he called back.  "Danny's former job and she thought I was him.  Go back to sleep, Dean."

"Thank God.  Not another one already," he complained but he went quiet so Xander decided he was going back to sleep.

Xander finished up and went to hand the report to Danny, who glared when he opened the door at his knock.  "One of the bitchy snake hos thought I was you."  He handed it over.  "Pity."

He walked off.  "Xander, if she shows up, they have a pheromone that makes men slaves."

Xander looked back at him.  "After Anya making me hers, no one else is going to get that chance, Danny.  If she shows up and she's evil, I'll flirt with her until she attacks then do like I did in the dream.  Pheromones don't affect me that way.  Remember, part mermaid."  Danny gaped.  "She said the mountain's going to fall.  Have fun talking to Jack."

"Yeah, sure, thanks," he said, closing his door so he could call his friend.  He faxed it over first.  "Hey, Jack.  I know it's two.  Xander just got visited by a Gou'ald in dream form who thought he was me."  He put him on speaker and curled up in his favorite reading chair.  "I faxed it to the office."

"Are you sure you don't want to come back here, where it's sane, Danny?" Jack asked, sounding tired.

"I get plenty of sanity here, Jack.  Beyond that, I haven't found an assistant director like the President ordered yet.  Tony wants me to hire an english major so they can do reports."

Jack snorted.  "I wish I had one of those."

"Don't make wishes, Jack.  You never know when a wish demon's around," Danny ordered patiently.

"Crap," he muttered.  The sound of paper wrinkling.  "It got slid under my door.  Thank you, Kripton!" he yelled.  "Bastard, giving me paperwork at two."  He came closer to the speaker again.  "They confused who and you?"

"The mini you, Jack."

Jack laughed.  "He's not my kid or my clone, Danny.  The mini-me is in high school up the road.  Neither of us would say he'd flirt with the snake before killing her."

"Xander had a good point.  Pheromones don't work right on him thanks to the mermaid taint he got given.  So if we get hooked like we did with Hathor, he can save us."

"Sure, I'll tell the guys here to let him.  They'll *love* that," he said dryly.

"Jack, every agent  is bothered by Xander.  The Marines can be too," he shot back.  He yawned.  "Looks like another attack.  So if you need help, let me know."

"Sure, Danny.  Which one is Ammit?"

"The Eater of Souls.  When they're judged before the Scales of Justice and found to be less than good, she eats them.  Xander said he'd flirt with her if she showed up."

"That might give us time to take her down.  What did he do in the dream?  Never mind, it's on here.  Nice shot.  Good point too, Gods don't die."  He sighed.  "He's pagan?"

"No clue.  Never asked."  He read his copy.  "He did say he's not Christian so I'm guessing so."  He shrugged.  "If he is, it works for him and I'm not going to bother anyone about their preference unless they're sacrificing unwilling people.  Though, I might sic Xander on Horatio and Speed's case since they have one of those."  He yawned again.  "Want the AD job, Jack?  We're much more fun."

"Hell no.  More paperwork?"

"Proofreading reports.  I do the budget, the overall passing on of reports and two other pieces of paperwork monthly.  Tony set me up a sweet system," he said smugly.

"Don't tempt me, Jackson."

Daniel laughed.  "If you do, Abby's pouting because McKay hasn't written recently.  She's seeing him like a strange brother creature.  Chew him a new one for me or bring him down?"

"I can do that.  Sam's up there.  I'll pass this on in the morning.  Any idea where she is?"

"No but we do monitor all newspapers and broadcasts for demonic activity.  If we hear about this one, I'll send it on. You do the same?"

"Sure, if we hear, you'll hear.  Thanks, Danny.  Go sleep.  It's two in the morning."  He hung up.

Danny smiled, going back to bed.  He'd figure out why the Gou'ald got Xander instead of him later.  And why he had felt Dean there.

***

Xander looked up as Danny walked over to him at breakfast.  "She's making new coffee, boss."

"I know, Xander.  Why did she get you instead of me?"

"Not another one," John moaned.

"No, one of the things from my former job, John.  It got Xander and thought he was me."

"Somehow he set himself up as the guardian for the base," John reminded him dryly, glaring at Xander.

Xander shrugged.  "It helps the girls.  Jump off, John."

"It's got to be disturbing your sleep or draining you or something."

"No, having research cases is draining me.  I haven't had to do anything but make bullets for months in the armory."  He grinned sweetly.  "In this case, Ammit wanted Danny to be her slave and I said no."  He looked at Danny, who was laughing.  "What?  I did."  He shrugged.  "It happens.  I'm more worried why Dean got pulled into it."

"That linking spell?" Dawn said dryly.

"Oops."

"My fault, I started it," Dawn admitted.  She looked at him.  "Should we be on the watch for the snake ho wannabe goddess?"

"Please.  She can emit a pheromone compound that will turn men into willing slaves for her."

"Hey, if that happens, she's a bad girl.  Xander can flirt and kill her," Dawn said dryly.  "Or screw her and make her beg to go good.  Right, Faith?"  Faith choked.

"She didn't beg me," Xander said dryly.  "It took a while for her to get back to that point."

Faith reached over to swat him.  "Stop it."

"Sorry, Faith."

"No, she's right.  It didn't work on me but I was only mildly bad at the time.  With how you warped Anya into having a conscience and made her not want to be a demon when she got it back, I'm sure you can make the worse bad girl go straight too."

He smirked.  "She'd squeal and hug you for that."

"Yeah, that's what I'm scared of," she said, shuddering some.  "Huggers.  Eww."

Dean looked at her. "We'll hide you if the dead ones come back for Halloween this year," he promised.

"Thanks.  Need that."  She looked at Daniel.  "Is this a slayer squad thing?"

"If you find someone doing that, and she can take host bodies, arrest her and bring her back, Faith."  She nodded.  "Then make sure to keep her away from men.  We're not sure if Xander's mermaid taint is strong enough to withstand it or not."

"Mermaids too?" Faith demanded.

"You weren't there but I had to go UC on the swim team," he said smugly.

"Tiny speedos from what Buffy said," Dawn told her.  "Very tiny speedo."

Xander gave her a dirty look.  "Still not going to be yours."

"Thank god.  I'd go bad too.  My teachers would be really pissed."  She smiled sweetly.

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Why don't I get respect?"

"Because you're our big brother," Dawn said smugly.

"Yeah," he snorted.  He looked at Faith, who looked confused.  "The coach had been exposing the guys on the swim team to mermaid blood and muscle tissue in the sauna to make them faster.  We got a few knock-off Monsters of the Black Lagoon running around."  She gaped.  "They did a full blood transfusion to take it out of mine but some of the taint stayed.  The same as Danny reads as tainted because of his Buffy-like times, so do I.  Only for other reasons."

Daniel swatted him.  "I did not."

"Jack said you died more than she did," Xander said dryly, giving him a look.  "You two are still known as undead yo-yos."

Daniel walked off moaning, shaking his head.  "Are the other swim team members still around, Xander?"

"No clue, boss.  They went off into the ocean near Sunnydale.  Haven't seen them since."  Tony looked over at him.  "What?"

"How close to the original movie?"

"Black, slimy.  Looked more like a black, oily Swamp Thing to me but ya know how girls are about descriptions and monster movies.  Willow named it that and that's what stuck."

Tony sighed.  "Should the Coast Guard know about them?"

"Maybe.  They might already know.  No clue.  Don't care."  He beamed.  "Not my fault and I went undercover to find out why the first two changed.  Now there's five."

Tony just nodded.  "I'll add it to the threat database.  Do we have a report on what happened?"

"Ask Willow or Giles."

"I can do that," he decided.  Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "What?  It has to go into the database."

"I can pull blood to see what the mermaid taint looks like," Abby said cheerfully.

"I talked to Jack, he's going to have Sam swat McKay since they're in the same place at the moment," Daniel told her.

She beamed.  "I like you."  She gave him a hug then went to get a needle from House.  She found Cuddy down there.  "I've got to weed out the mermaid taint in Xander's blood so we can put a chemical profile of it into the threat database with the new report."

"Mermaid?" House asked dryly.

She nodded.  "Back in high school."

"Why?"

"He said the swim team coach did it to make them faster.  That's why he went undercover when the monster appeared."

"Charming.  Would it show up in the last bloodwork we did?"

"Do we have any left?"

"Yes, and there was that odd chemical signature," he reminded her.  She found the reports and looked it over, taking the needle and vial with her anyway.  He shook his head.  "She's having PMS.  She wants to see blood."  He looked at his boss.  "It's not my fault I forgot to find another doctor in the middle of all we've got done here."

"Are you coming back on time?"

"I can't leave until I have a replacement.  Chase can."

"No, Chase can't.  I'll extend you both for another month, just in case.  Let me know one way or another."  She walked off, going to get some breakfast before they left to go back to New Jersey.

House glared after her.  At least until he heard her shriek about the unicorn.  Then he went to see what Digger had done.  The newly crapped-on shoes made him grimace.  "Infirmary, Digger.  I'll give you medicine for that."  He trotted that way, tail waving behind him.  He sighed, going to dose the unicorn, smiling once he had turned around.  He loved the little beasts.

Cuddy went to clean off her shoes before they left, pouting the whole way.  Why didn't the unicorns like her?  She wasn't that mean.  They liked House and he was meaner than she was.  Chase gave her an odd look.  "Digger's having bowel issues."

"He had that once before.  Means he ate mushrooms."  He handed her the cleaning wipes from under the sink, letting her have the bathroom for now.  He went to get some coffee and snickered all the way over then back.  She had probably deserved it.

***

Daniel returned the phone call to the president.  "Sir, you left a message on my voicemail?" he asked.

"Do you not have a secretary, Jackson?"

"No, sir.  I don't have that much to do.  If the AD, if I ever find one, can proofread reports, it'll take eighty percent of my job."  He looked at the phone then went back to proofreading Ryan Wolfe's latest report, circling a few words that needed to be fixed.  "I always thought voicemail was more efficient anyway, sir.  I don't need someone to fetch me coffee, make appointments or anything like that."

"How goes your search for an AD?"

"It doesn't. I put an ad in all the Federal notice places and posted one within the database for hiring.  No one's sent an application.  I didn't make it too difficult.  Military, administrative, or service as an agent preferred.  Easy duties.  A decent salary equal to what Tony gets."  He shrugged.  "I've tweaked it twice, sir, and no one's sent a resume.  I even made sure of the mailing and email address.  Nothing's come in."

"I see."

"Sorry, sir, but we do have a reputation for handling the stranger cases and most people don't want to deal with it.  Which is why Homeland is pushing you to get us our own budget category so we're not under them."

"I have agreed with that.  The FBI was most adamant they didn't want you either.   Well, the FBI director said he didn't want DiNozzo and Harris but he doesn't want the rest of you either," he said dryly.

"Xander and Tony are perfectly nice as long as you're not threatening someone, sir," he said patiently.  "It's not Xander's fault that he has the memories of a soldier and the training to back it up.  He's a combat veteran."

"I know that and they tend to creep agents out too until they're through with their training and know all the proper ways.  Your boy there can't even manage to wear a tie to testify."

"He said it was choking him.  I did suggest it and made Tony help him buy one."

"Only one?" he asked, sounding amused.

Daniel smirked at the phone.  "Sir, if I made Xander buy more than one tie he'd kill me.  He hates the suit he had to wear to testify, he doesn't like dress pants or shirts.  We're lucky when Xander wears a button up shirt on out of town cases."

"I understand why.  You can't really chase someone down in a suit."

"Exactly and Xander's used to combat, that's where his fashion sense and mind is still set.  Until it's not, well, he's probably never going to be comfortable in a suit.  Unless someone who wears one possesses him," he finished dryly.

The president laughed.  "Please, let's not."

"Thanks.  Any idea about what'll happen if the other guy for the open spot on the intelligence committee wins, sir?"

"Not yet.  We did sit down and talk at the White House about your agency and he still hates you."

"It's us or he has to do it."

"I pointed that out.  He said it's better you do it and he's going to ignore you guys.  Is someone...predicting the incumbent won't win?"

"None of the people here with that gift give a damn about the election, sir.  They only see the next threat.  Which may or may not be a Gou'ald down here."

"Why?" he moaned.

"One tried to get me in my dreams last night and got Xander instead.  I already warned Jack."

"Good!"  He sighed.  "If I have to take the SGC out of a military category, I'm merging you two together so no one has to deal with any of the strangeness."

"You tell Jack that, sir.  I have a headache after being woken up at two by the charming news Xander gave me.  I don't want to listen to him yell."

The president laughed.  "Good point.  You warned him?"

"Called and faxed."

"Good.  Very good.  Less I have to deal with.  As of right now, your agency is set up and your budget this year increased."

"That means I can replace our cars," Daniel said.  "We have two that're thumping wrecks."

"We do have a purchasing plan in place, Jackson," he said patiently.

"That's where I got the three cars we have, sir."

"I see.  What about DiNozzo's car?  I know he had a baby."

"A mustang.  She's here.  He likes to take her on long drives when he's not busy."

"Have him suggest what to get."

"I can do that.  Anything else I need to worry about, sir?  Like meeting him if he does win or the swearing in security?"

"I've got someone drawing that up.  I'll remind them to include one or two of yours."

"Yes, sir.  Thank you for the budget raise."

"Welcome.  You finally straighten out Harris' paycheck?"

"I did.  And then I made an account for him in town so it was direct deposited; that way he would quit forgetting to have it cashed."  The president laughed as he hung up.  He went to talk to his boys and few girls.  "Guys?"  They all looked at him, Stella putting someone on hold.  "A few things.  Still looking for the assistant director and no one's answering.  Kinda put the word around?"  They all nodded.  "Also, coming up on inauguration time.  At least one of us is going to be present.  Not you, Xander.  You're still freaking out agents."

"Yes, Danny."

"Good.  I want nominations of who's willing to go.  There's a few problem seats open at the moment.  One of them is the head of the Intelligence committee.  If we get the new person in that seat, he's got enough sway to cause us problems.  He may just pretend we don't exist or he may end up cutting our budget totally.  He's one of those 'I'm not going to see you, deal with you, hear about you' sorts."  That got a few smirks.  He looked at Tony.  "Find me a decent set of cars to replace the wrecks with.  We just got a small budget raise."  Tony nodded at that.  "The president wanted to make sure you still had your baby here."

"I do and she purrs."

"Even better.  Xander...."  He went to get something and came back with it.  "Since you have such a hard time remembering to cash your paychecks, we fixed it for you once we fixed the salary issue that made you be paid like a maintenance guy."  He handed him the checkbook.  "Yours.  It's direct deposited for you.  I had John forge your signature."  He smiled sweetly.  "That way none can expire on your dresser again."  He looked around at the laughing faces.  "Also, since this has come up, court clothes?  Out of town case clothes?  Speed, I love you being comfortable but be a bit more proper than your Anthrax t-shirt next time?  Please?"

"They got me out of bed."

"They realized that when you nearly bit someone.  An overshirt maybe?"

"I can do that.  I did in Miami," he sighed.  "Does this mean I can get my racing bike back?"

"Sure," Danny agreed.  "What about when it snows?"

"I'm still thinking about that."

"Whatever you want.  You have a parking space like everyone else."  He patted Xander on the shoulder.  "You could do that too so you could go to parent-teacher conferences."

"Can I bite Anna's teacher?"

"I would wish you wouldn't," he offered with a small smile.

"Can I bite the maintenance guys that keep making me fall on the sidewalk ice and made her fall and refracture one of the old breaks?"

"That I'll do," he said.  "Get me incident reports."  Xander handed them over.  "Thank you.  I'll deal with that.  Now, anything I missed?"  They all shook their heads.  "Then back to work, people.  Before the president decides to make good on his threat and merges us with Jack's department."  They all groaned.

Tony gave him an odd look.  "They didn't want to deal with that so we'll be stuck together like freaks in a high school?" he guessed.

"Basically," he agreed.  He went back to his office to look at the complaint forms.  Then he went to tour his base.  He nearly slipped on the ice so the maintenance guys were in for it now.  He could find maintenance guys so much easier than he could a new assistant.

***

Jack looked at the video feed the next morning, waving at Sam while he took a sip of his coffee.  "Morning."

"Afternoon here, sir.  Is there a problem?"

"Three.  I just got off the phone with the president."

"Are we being canceled?"

"No but he said if the other guy wins the critical seat in Senate, we're being moved under the DCIS umbrella."

Sam gave him an odd look.  "We are?"

"We are.  All the strange, freaky things together, Captain.  That way they can ignore us and possibly cut us out easier."

"Uh-huh.  Do we have absentee ballots, sir?"

"I have them on the ship going out yesterday, Captain."  She beamed at that.  "Send them back immediately.  This is a preview of what may happen during the next presidential election."

"Yes, sir.  I'll let that be known as well."

"Good.  Two other things."  She lost her smile.  "Ammit tried to talk to Daniel and got Harris instead."  He took a sip of his coffee while she spluttered.  Sheppard leaned into view, giving him an odd look.  "Eater of the dead souls that didn't measure up."

"So, a Gou'ald?" he asked.

"Yup.  She warned the mountain will fall.  Xander stabbed her in the dream.  Said he'd flirt with her since she was so evil."  Sam choked.

"He does like bad girls," Sheppard said patiently.  "Are we expecting a real attack, General?"

"Possibly.  The dream hinted one might be coming.  No idea where she is yet or if others will try.  If so, we've probably got it and Danny said we can borrow some of his guys. I emailed you a copy of that report, just in case.   Along with the message that your people have been making Danny's lab geek Abby pout?"

"I'll remind him.  He's been up to his elbows in an issue with our gate," Sheppard told him.  "Any other cheery news?"  He smiled.

"If the new guy wins, we're being umbrellad with DCIS.  He's got enough sway and enough people are uncomfortable with both of us it'll easily happen."  Sheppard gave him an odd look.  "Exactly."

"Well...  At least they won't ask questions, sir."

"No, he won't.  Though he is still looking for an AD."

Sam shook her head.  "I'd quit the service first, sir."

"Me too," Sheppard admitted.

"The president said you're taking over his or my spot some year, Sheppard," Jack said with an evil smirk.  "I've got someone coming to take over for me soon.  After him, it's you or you're going there."

"That's one hell of a reward for saving this galaxy," he complained.

Sam burst out laughing.  "The president has a sense of humor, sir?"

"Nope," Jack said with a grin.  "Not that I'm aware of, Captain."  Everyone on that side moaned.  "Just to let yo know."  He waved and signed off.  On that end, someone was probably swearing enough to make Sheppard blush at her turn of phrase.

Sheppard walked out and called a base-wide meeting.  "We just heard from Stargate Command and General O'Neill."  Everyone stared at him.  "We have absentee ballots on the ship that recently left.  If the new guys in a few key seats win, SGC will be moving oversight under DCIS."

McKay spluttered.  "You're joking!" he demanded.

"No, the new guy leading the push hates us and them so we're going to be lumped together," Sam said.  "They should be here soon.  You have *a* day to vote and get them back to Caldwell, people.  I won't tell you how to vote.  If you want us to go to DCIS instead of the Pentagon, that's your choice.  I personally am not sure yet but who knows.  We are not going to make you vote or make a choice for you.  Just, if you're registered, you might want to take the opportunity to be heard this time."  McKay gave her a very disturbed, horrified look.  "Not my doing.  The president told Jack earlier.  Then he said that Sheppard either gets the spot after O'Neill's successor or he takes Jackson's place."

McKay looked at him.  "I'll get you shot on duty."

"Thanks.  Just make it a clean kill."  The others laughed.  "Also, Abby's pouting about lack of emails?"  McKay slapped himself on the head.  "And there may be a new Gou'ald push on the base.  We're not sure yet.  Someone got a warning.  One of the females tried for Jackson and got Harris.  Who managed to brush her off.  Somehow.  We're still figuring that out."  They all groaned.  "So if you hear, we might have to mobilize to help go back there.  Not sure yet, but all team leaders go over on-base assault maneuvers this week.  It can only help us in case they come here again."  They nodded and the meeting broke up.  He looked at Sam.  "You had to announce that?"

"This way they know to watch out for you.  Better you than me."  She smiled and patted him on the back.

"No, not really," he said with a smirk.  "I got told if I did then McKay was coming too."

"So?"  She smirked.  "That's fine with me."  She went to handle the last administrative detail then went to help in the lab.  McKay shoved her out so she went to botany instead.  She didn't need to hear him throw a fit.  Though she did wonder why they were going together.  Had she missed a few clues?  Maybe don't ask, don't tell was in effect for them?  Nah, McKay hated people.  Couldn't be.

John went to the gym to beat his head against a wall then take the bad images out of his head.  Tiff met him in the hall, giving him a hug.  "Thanks, Tiff."

"It'll be okay.  Even if they do send you, Xander won't drive you nuts."

He smiled.  "I can respect Xander and his experiences.  The demons would drive me nuts."

"I understand.  Want to spar?"

"Please."  He went to work out with her.  She needed to spar, he needed to think other thoughts.  He gave her sportsbra she was wearing an odd look when she took off her t- shirt.  Then she skimmed down to bike shorts too.  "Why are you changing?"

"I'm warm.  I don't want to get that sweaty.  I need to do laundry and my time's not until tomorrow."

"As long as you're not making it like the other girls."

"Please!  Do I look like I can hit on trees?"  He laughed and she lunged, starting the session.  It was good to get physical with him.  He was a good match for her speed and agility.

***

Xander got called into the office then came out pouting.  "Tony, Danny said I have to buy another choking, strangling suit of doom for testifying.  The last one has some rust on it and other stuff.  The girl going through my closet said so."

Tony looked at him.  "How did you do that?"

"The chair down there had rusty screw tops."

He nodded.  "We'll go this weekend if we're both here, Xander."  Xander nodded, sitting down to sulk.  "It'll be fine."

"I hate suits."

"I know.  We'll get you something decent.  You can use it the next time you manage to snag a bad girl."

Xander smirked at him.  "The girls forbid me to date any more females.  You know that."

"I do.  It'll still happen."  Xander nodded.

Speed looked over then at H.  "You should probably do some winter shopping, H.  Maybe you should help them?" he suggested.

"I could help," Horatio agreed.  Xander pouted at him.  "I wore one daily, Xander."

"His are nearly mythical, they make him do stupid things," Calleigh agreed.  Eric laughed at that, putting someone on hold.  "That's not polite."

"I'm talking to my father.   He's nagging about there not being good girls up here."

Tony gave him a look.  "There's too many good girls, Eric. That's why we don't get the easy lays."

"Good point."  He went back to his father.  "I was reminded why I can't get past the first date, Poppi.  Because all the girls are too good.  Like marble saints.  Exactly.  No, I'm looking, Poppi, I promise.  Make momma calm down."  Daniel came out to give him an odd look.  "I used my calling card."

"Thanks."  He looked at Xander.  "You can do it, Xander.  Tell all three Winchesters they have to help."

Xander looked at him.  "Two of them have one."

"That's because they were pretending to be federal agents," Tony said dryly.  "They look like Matrix agents.  They can get a new one too."  He smirked.  "I'll let John know, Daniel."

"Thanks.  Maybe they can make sure they can act in one if they have to."  Xander moaned, nodding a bit.  "Good boy, Xander."  He patted him on the back.  "Also, no more hawaiian shirts on cases," he said quietly.  Xander grimaced.  "Please?"

"Fine."

"Thank you.  Plain t-shirts are fine."  Xander nodded.  "Pack a bag for out of town cases and leave it packed."  Xander nodded at that.  Daniel went back to his office.

"We'll get you something you can wear and work in," Tony promised.  He went to talk to John.  "Xander has to buy a new suit."

John looked at him.  "I haven't had one since the day I got married," he said bluntly.

"Fix that.  That way Xander doesn't feel left out and it's something he can hunt in if something happens."

"Suits aren't going to be comfortable for that," John said patiently.

Tony shrugged.  "I have to be able to chase people in mine."

"And then you have to pay a lot to dry clean the suckers," Dean muttered.

"Yes, but there's a reputation thing.  Remember, sometimes all of you might have to testify."  He smirked.  "Like during the hearing in New York about the lab building that needs to be rebuilt."  They all groaned.  "Dean, you and Sam look like Matrix bad guys in yours.  John, deal with it.  Move on.  Buy one.  Just one?"  John growled but nodded a bit.  "Thanks.  Because we know they're going to call Xander and Buffy.  They could call you."

"Good point.  We can have one to hang up in the closet."

"Like Xander, you can pack it and not look at it as long as it's not wrinkled if you need it," Gibbs told him.  "Someone get onto Jackson about Speedle and Harris' ugly shirts?"

"Yup."

"We'll work on it with them."

"Horatio needs to do some shopping too.  We were going to go this weekend."

"Fine," Dean muttered.

John nodded.  "We'll help them pick out something that's not too uncomfortable."

"Horatio wears silk, guys.  Stretchier, comfortable in most weathers, not that tight or restricting?" Tony suggested.

John looked at him.  "There's no way a suit can be comfortable."

"We'll see," Gibbs told him, looking at him.  "I found one I can tolerate.  Ties are still evil though."  Dean nodded quickly at that.  "Didn't Sammy have some since he was going to be a lawyer?"

"Burned," Dean said simply.

"I forgot, sorry."

"Not a problem, dude," Dean promised, smirking at him.  "He might be able to tell us how to get a decent fitting one."

"Let me, guys.  Mine are comfortable," Tony promised.  "Horatio can help too."  He walked off, going back to his desk.  "All right, all three Winchesters are going with us, Horatio.  Anyone else need in on this outing?  Speed?  Eric?  Flack?"

"Have plenty," Flack promised.

"I wear separates and a coat when I absolutely have to," Eric told him.  "Though I do need more sweaters.  It's damn cold up here."

Xander snickered.  "Tell me about it.  I nearly froze my first winter up here since I'm from near the desert."  He gave Tony his most pathetic look.  "Must I?"

"Yes," he said patiently.  "We're all going together."  Horatio laughed.  "We can.  You and I can help them find something comfortable that they can react in."  That got a nod.  "How much is in your account, Xander?"  He shrugged,  "Shouldn't you see?"

"Probably."  He got into it, frowning.  "Eww.  Did I get a raise?" he called.

"We were paying you like a maintenance guy, Xander.  Now you're making agent money," Daniel yelled back.  "Make Flack get some ties that won't get remarked about on the front cover of the Times since you're both being called about the lab building's destruction in New York in two weeks."

"I have a few," Don called back, shaking his head.  "Unless we want to take an agency wide shopping day?"

Stella looked at him.  "If we do, we have to take the girls."

"They're ISC, not DCIS," he teased.  "If you wanna go shopping with the girls, go for it.  They tied up Dean and Sammy to make them go bra shopping once.  They could use a big sister's help."

"They did?" Calleigh asked, starting to laugh.  Speed nodded and groaned.  "We'll help the girls."

"The next scheduled slayer shopping trip is after Thanksgiving for holiday presents," Xander said firmly.  "Clothes is after New Years."  They all snorted at that.  "I know they take their allowance and go but the shopping card goes then."  They all nodded at that.  "Unless they hit a growth spurt or one of them needs her first bra or something."

"Yes, Xander," Stella said.  "Spoilsport."

He looked at her.  "They prove they have stealth training by sneaking off base to go shopping."  Eric and Horatio both laughed at that.  "It's better than their panty raiding issues."

Ryan nodded.  "Please.  Some of mine are missing again.  I told John."

"We'll do another contraband inspection soon," Xander promised.  He looked at Tony.  "Must I?"

"You have to look good so you don't make the agency look bad," Tony said patiently.  "Yes, Xander."

"Fine," he muttered, getting back to his last report.  He finally finished it and did the proofreading he could, then sent it to Daniel's office.  Daniel sent it back an hour later with corrections so he got into those.  When it got sent back again he went to ask.  Daniel showed him what was wrong and he fixed it then handed it over.  Daniel read it over and signed it, putting it into the box with the case notes.  Xander went to make sure he didn't have anything else to do.  He went looking for problems coming up with Halloween in a week.  Just in case.  What he found did not amuse him.  "The ball's on this year," he said.  Calleigh's head shot up.  "Yes, the vampire ball from your neck of the woods."  He read it over.  "They usually stay quiet."

"I'll warn some people down there," she said, emailing some friends on the New Orleans police force.  "Anything else coming up?"

"That's what I'm looking for."  He kept going.  He found a mention of one person screwing up.  "We might get a case file from lower New Jersey.  A young chaos sorcerer is promising he's going to be as badass as Ethan Rayne.  No idea what he's doing."  He kept going, finding something else going on.  That one made him groan.  Tony rolled his chair over.  So did Ryan.  He let them see.

"They're holding a Survivors of Sunnydale event in LA," Tony read.  "That's bad?"

"Yup."  He picked up his phone to call the Hyperion.  "Gunn, Xander.  Have you heard there's a Survivors of Sunnydale banquet and dance on the night before Halloween?"  He listened to him complain.  "In your town, yes.  Looks like the Hyatt.  Might want to.  Please?"  He smiled.  "I know you can handle it.  Let us know if you can't.  Warn Don too, just in case.  No telling, man.  It doesn't say who's behind it.  It's a news announcement. Thanks, Gunn."  He hung up and went back to searching after printing all three threats out.  He found one that made him sigh in displeasure.  "So not good."  He texted Sam, bringing him running from the library.  "What is that?"

Sam read over his shoulder then shuddered.  "That's probably a bad thing.  Why are they having a Halloween ball in the middle of a cemetery?"

"I don't know.  Want us to watch it?"

"No, our kind will.  I'll ask Dad's opinion about sending a girl."  Xander printed it and they watched him find all the other problems.  Including a major issue but it was in Lebanon.  He carried that to Daniel, who looked and groaned, faxing it to the White House.  "Xander's looking for evil things coming up."

"Good to know.  Anything too bad?"

"One for the girls.  The vampire ball that used to be held yearly.  A chaos sorcerer in lower New Jersey, by the Delaware border."  He shrugged.  "We're checking."  He went to gather the other watchers together to go over that incident while he looked more of it up. Maybe whoever was sponsoring it wasn't an idiot and had a clue about the occult instead.  He finally looked up, looking very unhappy.  "Zombies."

John groaned.  "Zombies?  We're sure?"

"One of them runs the Zombie Emporium, dad.  Yeah."  He let him see, getting a light growl at the monitor.  "Xander handed this one over."

"We'll send a few of the older girls," Wesley decided.  He called Rupert to tell him that.  That was his job after all.  "Rona, good.  We have a situation coming up on Halloween.  No, not the costume thing that was giving Buffy nightmares but do alert her that a chaos sorcerer is going to be acting by Delaware in New Jersey.  We found a zombie party going on in a cemetery that night.  Yes, I know you hate zombies, Rona.  There's still six other girls."  He smirked.  "Exactly.  You and Caridad can since you answered the phone.  That way you don't have to stink later," he promised.

"Lemon juice," John said.  "That take the stench off you."

"Ah, John knows how to take the stink off, Rona.  Lemon juice."  He smiled.  "In the little bottle?"

"No, like cut in half and squeeze over yourself," Sam told him. "It doesn't look too massive, Wes.  Two or three at the most."

"Good.  Rona, tell her to send two or three girls.  Yes, even of the ones here.  I can do that."  He hung up.  "Brenda, Rona tapped you to help with the zombies," he called, spotting her cutting class.

John looked over. "What are you doing here?"

"I walked out of school before I decked the teacher for trying to put the moves on me," she said, sitting next to John to get a hug.  "I about beat the leach to death."

"We'll go talk to the principal," John said, standing up.

She looked up at him.  "I'm suspended in school tomorrow, John."

"You hit him?"

"No, I threw a screaming, ranting fit in the halls."  She grimaced.  "I lost my temper," she sighed, looking down.

"We'll go talk to him," he ordered.  She nodded, brushing off her jeans as she followed him to his truck.

"Hate to be that teacher," Sam said, shaking his head quickly.

"He nearly pulled apart the one that hit on me at the joints," Dean agreed dryly.  Sam gave him an odd look.  "In Oxford, North Carolina?  Way back when?"

"You were thirteen."

"Yup."

"Dad turn her into the cops too?"

"Yup, after she was sobbing she went to confess.  Dad was not a happy person that week."

"Let's hope this one lives," Wesley said dryly.

"Aren't all her teachers female at the moment?" Gibbs asked.  Everyone nodded.  Yeah, John was going to be going off soon.  They paused to listen but there was no yelling that they heard from the town.

Xander came out ten minutes later.  "Why did I get a call to come to the school?" he called as he walked to the sedan garage.

"Brenda walked off after a teacher hit on her," Dean yelled.  "Dad went with her to talk to someone official."

"Crap," Xander muttered.  "Guess I'll hold in my temper then."  He checked out a sedan and went to save the principal from John.  He parked and got out, smiling at the guard.  "Yelling?"

"Office, Mr. Harris."

"Which teacher?"

"No clue."  He walked him that way then came out to watch the grounds.  When he saw a teacher go running for her car he was clearly amused.  "Wonder what she did to the base girls."

John came out looking calm, nodding at the guard.  "Are the police here yet?"

"Not yet, sir.  Why?"

"The gym teacher hit on one of the girls."

"No wonder she went running for her car."  John nodded.  "Why?"

"Momentary stupidity according to her.  She wasn't sure."  That got a nod and a cop car pulled in.

Xander walked out.  "If you do not take that disgusting bitch into custody today, you won't have to worry about her," he shouted.  "I am not going to let some diseased, confused, mindless little twat near any of those girls and I'll be *damned* if that one gets near any of my girls ever the hell again!"

The cops getting out blinked at him.  "Okay," the driver said.  "Who did what, Mr. Harris?"

"The gym teacher approached one of the girls in a carnal manner," John said more calmly, patting Xander on the shoulder.  "Brenda threw a swearing fit and stomped back to tell us.  She just left."

"She ran for her car like they were going to shoot her," the guard said.

"Don't.  Tempt.  Me," Xander snarled.

The cops nodded at that, coming over.  "Let's go take a report.  I'll have the boss bring her down, Mr. Harris.  Can you stay a bit more calm and let us handle this?"

"I nearly got eaten by one of mine, guys.  I loathe teachers like this."

"Good!  We don't like them either!" the second cop assured him.  "Let us do our job and if the judge won't find her guilty, then you can have her.  Okay?"  Xander nodded, kicking at the ground.  "Office?"  John nodded.  "Calm down and come join us, guys."  They went in there, nodding at a curious looking teacher.  "Problem with a teacher, ma'am.  Don't worry about it."

"Oh, dear.  The chemistry teacher or the gym teacher?"

"Gym," John said as he walked in.  "The chemistry teacher?"

"Oh, god, flashbacks," Xander moaned, holding his head.  He looked at that teacher.  "Is this one a beautiful woman who wants to eat the kids?"

"No.  He's a fairly disgusting older man who likes the girls in the middle school but we've never had proof.  Just rumors."

"Well, that's something at least," Xander decided, heading for the office.  "I'll let the girls know."

"Thank you, sir," she said with a wave at his back.  She looked at John.  "Is he new to town?"

"We're at the base, ma'am.  That's Agent Harris, second head of the Slayers Council."

"Oh.  No wonder there was screaming."  She nodded and went back to her classroom.

The cops looked at him.  "How many jobs does he do?" the driver asked.

"Too many," John said dryly.  "That's why he lost his temper."  They walked in there together, going to keep Xander calm, keep Brenda calm, and take the statement they needed to arrest her.  Before Xander called out a hunt on the teacher.  She didn't quite deserve that at the moment.  They left and went to find the teacher in question.  They found her huddled and hiding in her apartment closet but she went willingly when they promised to keep the girls and Harris away from her.

***

Daniel came out to meet the sedan, stopping Xander from getting out.  "What happened?"

"The gym teacher propositioned Brenda."

"That would explain why I got reports of you screaming at the officers?"  Xander groaned but nodded.  "Do we perhaps need anger management lessons?"

Xander looked at him.  "After one of mine nearly ate me?"

"Good point," he sighed, letting him out.  "Can you stay calm and reasonable?"

"I am now.  I agreed, I don't have to do anything unless the judge finds her not guilty."  Daniel smirked at that.  "Then I can relieve some of the anger that I got from the praying mantis shape changing demon."

Daniel mouthed that phrase.  Then he finished with a classic.  "Huh?"

"She killed the old teacher after he fertilized her eggs.  She took his place to have easy access to other virgins.  She got me and one of the football players to come over for her egg making project and locked us in the basement.  Where she was going to have sex with us so we could fertilize her eggs then she'd rip our heads off too, like she did the teacher she replaced."

Daniel groaned, rubbing his forehead.  "This was..."

"Tenth grade.  By the way, bat noises drive them off."

"If we run into one, we'll do that," Daniel decided, giving Xander a pat on the arm.  "The cops said you were acting like a reasonably upset parent when I called.  Next time, throw a less voluminous fit?"

"Huh?  I thought voluminous meant big."

"In this case, a quieter one," he said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "I'll try.  There's only one other and they only have rumors.  If we tell the girls, they'll try to bait him so we're not."

"Good plan," he agreed quietly.  "Can you try to dump some of this anger and stress, Xander?"

"Usually I have it under good control," he complained, looking pitiful.

"I know you do.  You do a good job but you need to find a way to dump it better."

"I used to put it into the construction stuff."

"Then go help the crew with the new building when you have nothing to do.  Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  I'm glad I could help.  Next time, yell more quietly.  Even the grocery store called."

"They're on the other side of town.  No way did they hear."

"One of the delivery boys lives near there and called his boss to see what he should do.  His boss called."  Xander rolled his eyes, shifting his weight some.  "You're not in trouble."

"Sometimes it seems like I don't fit in around here.  I'm not like Tony."

"No, but you have valuable skills."

"But I don't like suits.  I don't do lab stuff.  It's like I'm the dumb grunt guy."

Daniel grinned.  "I don't do the lab stuff either."

"You don't have cases with the perfect posse."

"No, I don't."  He smiled, giving him a hug before pulling back.  "You're you and we like you for being you.  Even if Paul does give you dirty looks for your habit of pulling out guns.  Even if you don't wear suits, do lab stuff, understand science, any of that.  We like you for you.  Yes, there's times you need to fit in a bit better.  Usually it's because you wear some really hideous shirts, Xander."  That got a grin.  "But that's part of being you.  The guys are used to working with agents and cops like them."

"I'm the only non-cop in the group."

"You are but that might change.  You're doing really good fitting in most of the time.  You're a valuable member of this agency and a friend."  Xander relaxed, smiling at that.  "I could want you to dress better on out of town calls.  I could want you to try to not give them looks like they're stupid when they go to the lab.  Sometimes they feel the same way."

"It makes me feel dumber than I am," he said quietly.  "Maybe I should fall back to the armory."

"No, I want you on the team, Xander.  You've solved more cases here than Tony has.  Really," he said at his odd look. "You have.  You take on more research cases than they do.  Tony's only had three this week.  You've had five, including that stupid urn you just finished."  Xander nodded at that.  "You solve them faster, you solve them with fewer problems.  If I could find other hunters to bring in, I would.  If Sam wants to join, I'd gladly take him.  Dean too.  John would probably try to skin me."

"Yes I would," John called as he walked over from the parking area.

"See?"  He smirked at him then looked at Xander again.  "It's not that you're not fitting in.  The guys all like you.  Most of this is in your head, Xander.  You fit in very well even if you can't stand the lab."

"Maybe."

"No, not maybe.  You do fit in.  Some of the new guys are really uptight.  That's why they haven't relaxed around you yet.  The ones from Miami especially I think.  Mac's still scared of you for some reason."  Xander shrugged at that.  "Good.  Then trust me here.  You're fitting in better than you think.  This isn't high school.   I don't allow cliques.  You're not an outcast.  You can wear whatever you want on base as long as only we see you.  If you have to video conference or leave the base, find a better shirt."

"Yes, Danny."

"Thank you.  Do I make you feel that way?"

"You have how many Ph.D.'s?"

Daniel smiled.  "Not everyone can be me, Xander.  I had my reasons to get into college so young and to push myself.  If you had those same reasons, you probably could have.  You have a good hand with languages you know.  Maybe you should look into that?"

"I'm never here."

"I noticed that.  You're still doing twice the work.  Two new cases came in today and I had to hand them around your desk because the other guys said you stole work from them."

"I got bored."

"I'm sure you did but so are they.  You're impressive.  We love you for it.  The only thing we don't like is the ugly t-shirts.  Yours and Speed's."  Xander smirked at that.  "Really."

"Fine."

"Thank you.  But you still have to buy a suit so we look good during the New York hearing about their building being collapsed by a dragon."

"Yes, boss," he muttered, looking at John.  "Do you think I should fall back to the armory?"

"No.  I think that takes more experience than you have, kid.  I think you're good but Calleigh has ballistics experience you don't."  Xander pouted.  "You're good on use and on finding what you need.  She's good at identification and that stuff, which is what the armory needs for casework.  Though, am I making new rock salt shells tonight?"

"I made a case last month," Xander said, looking confused.

"You did?"

Xander nodded.  "Along with another case of the holy water rounds."

"Where are they?"

"The gun vault.  Where I usually put them."  He walked them in there, finding them in there.  "See, a case of each."

Daniel looked at the case then at him.  "That's not a normal case.  That's a shipping case."

"Had to be done," Xander said.  "Plus it gave me thinking time.  Do you want me to have her do it?"

"I don't mind if you putter in here," Daniel decided.  "Make bullets when you have to think.  Clean guns with Ryan if you want."  Xander relaxed again.  "But the armory isn't your job unless we're having an emergency.  I know I have to hire someone.  I'm going to make Calleigh and Tony do it."  He looked around again.  "Can you show her how everything is so she can tell whoever?"

"I tried," Xander told him.

John nodded.  "She's one who gives him looks like she doesn't understand why he's here," he agreed.

Daniel sighed.  "I've seen a few of those.  I'll straighten that out.  You're here because I want you to be an agent, Xander.  Am I clear?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Because I could have moved you back to the ISC post you have.  That's more than enough work for everyone but you."

Xander smirked.  "I live on the stress.  Not like we had it easy at home.  Full time job, girlfriend, slaying patrols, apocalypses, all that at once some days."

"You're better than I am.  I doubt I could handle a full time job and hunting all the time," John admitted.  "Especially since you were doing construction work. Usually I get banged around and spend the next day aching."

"I did too but that's why someone smarter than me invented tylenol."  Xander grinned at him.  "Want to help me clean guns tonight?"

"Sure.  We can clean the lockers too."  That got a nod from Daniel and he left them alone.  "You good?" he asked quietly.

"There's been plenty of days when I wondered why I was an agent," he admitted, looking at his mentor and friend.  "Some of the new guys give me the looks most of the time.  Flack gives them to me  now and then when I come up with something he thinks is stupid.  Taylor really gives them to me.  Horatio does."  He shrugged.  "I feel like the bastard child that had to be taken in some days."

John patted him on the shoulder. "You're not.  You and Tony ran this agency before Daniel got here.  You keep it going, you've protected them.  Like hunting, no one's going to thank you and half the time they won't understand until they have to deal with it themselves.  Their first field cases they're going to come in looking differently I'm sure."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "Now, sword, machete, that practice?  Still on for Sunday?"

"I was going to ask Dean to spar with me tonight.  Or Faith.  I skipped last week due to having the runs."

"That'll work.  I'll join in then we'll come clean weapons."  Xander nodded.  "Go find more horrible things coming up.  We have no idea what this spring's apocalypse is."

Xander sighed.  "I have the feeling we're having one over halloween," he said quietly.  "I can't find it though."

"It could be one like the dragons.  One that's not in the books."

"Could be," he sighed.  "But I think it's going to be magical."

"If so, we'll handle it and have Dawn's teacher help us if it's her or Willow."  Xander nodded at that.  "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Until the fake goddess woke me up."  John gave him an odd look.  "Ammit."

"How are you getting those?"  He knew what it was but the process of how it happened had never been explained to him.

"Somehow, when I helped with the protections Dawn was putting up I put myself on as the base's guardian.  She wanted Daniel and got me."

John moaned.  "That's another thing we'll have to shift back to a not fully your job thing, Xander.  It can wear you down like too much magic wears out Dawn."

Xander nodded.  "I know that.  It doesn't happen that often.  I'm kinda surprised I pulled in Dean."

"That we're working on."  He gave him another pat.  "Go back to your desk.  The girls will be back soon."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  John looked around then closed the vault and left to tell Dean and Sam about the night's schedule.  They needed to spar anyway.  Dean was antsy.  Sam was having near visions.  Something would start to tickle his mind then stop.  So there was something coming but no one was sure what.  Yet.

Xander walked into the room, finding everyone staring at him.  "What?  I had to yell at the teacher.  She hit on one of the girls."

Horatio blinked.  "Not that.  What do we need in the armory?"

"Someone who can process guns we find on cases, take inventory, clean the ones in the lockers, make bullets.  It's not a hard job.  I pretty much fill in right now.  By the way, those who don't have it, someone has to figure out how to qualify people on the range this month.  Ryan, you're about up."

"I can do that," Mac said with a small smile.  "We hand make the bullets?"

"Mostly.  We get the lead ones from someone else but I can make those if we need to.  The stuff we dip the wooden ones into to jacket we get from somewhere else too but I generally lathe the wood since I'm the only one who seems to know how.  That would go faster if we could get it in pressed wood form but not totally.  It's not that hard to make the holy water tipped ones either."  He shrugged a bit before sitting down.  "Benny Ray and I sat down to make most of our bullets.  He took my wooden bullet idea and jacketed it differently so it went better and had less compacting after being fired.  He helped me make the first holy water tipped rounds."  Tim nodded at that.  "We worked together pretty well.  Especially on the artillery closet that we took out of what we busted in New York that time.  Speaking of, I have to show you new guys how the portals work."  They all nodded at that.  He made a note to himself.  "Mac, if you want to do range qualifying, it's under the gun vault.  The stairs are that small door beside the entry."

"How many stalls?"

"Three.  Moving targets or steady targets but no walk through."

Mac nodded.  "I can do that.  Who else needs to qualify?"  Ryan, Tim, and Eric all raised their hands.  Tony grimaced but did too while he continued to type one handed.  "I can do that this weekend."

"Sword practice is back on for Sunday night since I don't have the runs this week," Xander announced.  Everyone nodded at that.  "The new guys have to at least learn how to hold and block with one.  After that, it's necessary to prove you can hold off an attack if it comes.  Dean teaches machete styles and I teach real sword work but not fencing.  'Cause not my thing.  Wesley can if you wanted to ask him.  Also, anyone without a gun locker, we need to know, people."

"We keep our guns in the lockers on base?" Calleigh asked.

Ryan nodded.  "Most of us do.  It's easy enough to get into them.  Only we have our keys and there's only one master key.  They keep a reload in most of them."

"I'm checking them when John and I are cleaning them tonight," Xander promised.  He looked at Ryan.  "Yours?"

"I do mine."

"Okay.  If you need me to, let me know."

"I can."  He smiled.  "Are you falling back to the armory?"

"No.  Danny and I talked about it, I volunteered, but he said he needs me here."  They all nodded at that.

Tony looked over. "Of course we do, Xander.  You do twice the work we do, you kept me sane when I was running this place.  You helped me set it up so it worked well together.  We have half the floor being new to field cases.  Yes, we need you to stay right there.  No matter what.  Give the new guys more of your research cases so they can get used to handling the research end of the work."  He went back to typing.  "Abby said McKay's scared of having to take over down here."

Xander smirked.  "Wasn't that a running joke?  If Jack takes Danny back, then we get Sheppard, McKay comes in over RD, and Abby's over the lab?"

"I thought so."  Tony shrugged.  "By the way, she did find the mermaid taint.  We did add that to the threat database in case they ran into one and a fishing boat did capture one by accident.  They found it munching the fish in the nets.  When they let it out, it dove off the boat and they only got a picture.  The Coast Guard was not happy and tried to say they were drunk.  When we uploaded that they wanted to know what else came from you guys that might impact them."

"As far as I know, nothing else," Xander admitted.  "You can ask Giles."

"I did.  He said he'd look through his journal."  They shared a look.  "Did you borrow John's jeans?"

"No, why?" he asked, looking at himself then at him. "I've had them for years."

"They're big on you.  Are you losing weight?"

"No," he said calmly.  "Can we please jump off my wardrobe?  Not all of us are fashion plates like you, Horatio, and Stella."

"True.  Why not wear tight things though?  Most young guys do."

Xander shrugged.  "It's harder to move in tight things and why did I need to?  I didn't need that sort of attention even when I did play bait."

"Fine," he said, shaking his head.  "How are you supposed to pick up a good lover wearing baggy pants?"

Xander grinned.  "Maybe they think there's a reason."

"Yes, but they probably think it's chunky thighs, Xander," Tony teased with a smirk.

Xander shrugged.  "If they're dating me, why would they be thinking anything was chunky?  That's a girl term and I only date bad girls who want to be evil.   They want me for other reasons."

"Good point," Tony said then he shook his head.  "We have got to get you clubbing clothes anyway, Xander.  That way we can go together so I don't have to fight with Eric for the slutty ones."

Xander snorted.  "Am I going to keep the bad girls off you?"

"You can keep whoever you want," Tony said with a smirk and a wink.  "Or not."  Xander laughed at that.  "The girls might like to see you dressed up."

"I haven't really dated since I left Anya at the altar, Tony."

"So?  It's about time, Xander.  It's been over two years."

"Closer to four.  It's been two and almost a half since we got here and I left her there about a year before Sunnydale fell in."  Tony gaped.  "I'm not like you.  I don't need it nightly.  It took me three months to recover from what she did to me."

"It could be very stress relieving."

"I can go to my temple for that."

"I forgot about that," Tony said, then shook his head again.  "Did they ever bring back your stuff?"

"Nope."

"Going tonight?" Tony teased.

"Later on."  He smirked back.  "They do so miss me.  I did get a letter saying I was missed."  Tony laughed, shaking his head.  "You know, I can go back and do the game again.  They set it to a whole new realm that's having problems."

Tony stared at him.  "Only if Danny agrees."

"We can use the humor," Messer called from his desk in the corner.

"Not you," Tony said, shooting him a small glare.  "The other one.  Boss?"  Daniel came out.  "Xander said they reset that game to a new realm.  He wanted to know if he could go play that when someone made him take his next vacation."

Daniel looked at Xander.  "Didn't you have enough problems from the last one?"

"Well, kinda.  But it'll be fun.  I'll have fun."  He grinned.  "I have to go get the stuff I brought with me last time since they never brought it back."

"Do it after hours."

"Of course.  After we're done cleaning the weapons tonight."

"Fine.  If you're late tomorrow, make up the time, Xander."

"Yes, Daniel."

Daniel walked off shaking his head.  "If you go, take Jack with you.  He might enjoy some time off.  Sheppard too!"

"Sure, if you can get them to agree," Xander called back.  Tony and Speed cackled at that.  "What?" he asked innocently.  "They both handle the strange thing well and they're good at tactics, plus they're untraditional thinkers."

"Uh-huh," Tony said, still laughing quietly.  He went back to typing at Abby, telling her that.  He suddenly burst out laughing.  "She said if you run into them at your temple, say hi for her and give Rodney a hug."

"I can do that."  Xander looked at his desk then around.  "Why don't I have any work to do?"

"Because we wanted something to do too," Ryan said dryly.

"Thanks for the case, Xander.  Hadn't had any in two days," Danny Messer agreed.  "Go back to hunting whatever bad thing's going to happen this spring."

"Worry about Halloween first.  All Saints Eve, All Saints, and the Day of the Dead."  They all groaned.  He went back to his searching, finding a strange thing.  "I'm listed on a demonic live journal site," he muttered, looking at the entries.  Googling his name was a fun exercise.  He read, then he spluttered.  "It is not mine!"  He wrote them back a nasty note saying it wasn't his. He hadn't slept with Crissy!  Then he went on.  "Oh, guys, Crissy, out in LA, is pregnant at the moment.  We're waiting a while on the baby shower since she just found out but fair warning for her to cry on you."  He went back to reading, pausing to tip his head at one entry.  "Hey, Tony?"  He rolled over.  "Does that say what I think it says?"

Tony read it then nodded.  "That says they're going to go after Reid.  Print that with the address at the top?"  Xander did that, writing it down by hand.  Tony went to the office.  "Xander found a demon's live journal and it mentions a plot against Spenser Reid."

"Crap," he muttered, dialing the system out there.  "Oh, what is their extension?"  Tony input something, getting their computer tech, Garica.  Who did look surprised.  "Garcia, Daniel Jackson.  Is the team there?  Someone just found a possible plot against Reid."

"Um, in the other room.  Let me get them, Doctor Jackson."  She grabbed her phone and dialed.  "I've got Doctor Jackson on teleconfrence.  They have a threat to Spens."  She hung up.  "They'll be right here.  Can you fax that to us?"  Tony did that.  "Theirs?"

"The one I have for Hotchner," he said, smiling at her.  "It looks like a future plot, but Xander found it."

"That's a bad thing," she agreed.  Suddenly they went dark.

"Gee, boss, did you forget to pay the electric bill?" Tony asked.

"No," he said, going to see what was going on.  It was a short jog to the gate.  "What the heck happened?"

"The electric company shut off the line up the road, sir."

"Why?"

"No idea."

Daniel went to talk to them with the guards.  "Excuse me?" he demanded.  "Who are you and under what authority did you shut off a federal agency's electric?"  They stared at him then laughed.  "Now!" he snapped.

"Sir," the guard said calmly.  "Guys, did you send out a notice?"

"The base is deserted, guys."

"No, DCIS took it over.  Can't read the large sign?" Daniel asked, pointing at the one up the road.  "We're still here.  Get your supervisor on the phone now."  They laughed again and started to load up.  "Keep them from leaving," he ordered.  The guards shrugged and did that while he called in.  "I need to speak to a supervisor please?  This is Doctor Daniel Jackson at DCIS.  Your people just shut us off for some reason thinking we had moved.  No, I don't think you can help me.  I need a supervisor.  I don't have it on me," he said impatiently.

Xander took it.  "Listen, sweetie, you just endangered the world by bringing down our prison's containment system.  There's eight hundred demons down there and a few assassins like the one we caught trying to take down the president.  Do you *really* want your name on this account?"  She transferred them over.  "Thank you.  This is Agent Harris.  Yes, the one who was on with the dragons.  My boss and I are here with a crew of your people who just shut off the main line to our base and forced us to go to backup power for our prison."  He listened.  "That's us, yes.  No, we have not moved.  We do not plan on moving.  Let me hand you to my boss, ma'am."  He handed it over.  "The supervisor."  He looked at the pole then sighed.  "Ask her if I can turn it on while we wait," he said quietly.

Daniel asked then nodded.  Xander climbed up there and flipped the breaker back on.  "What happened to start that order?" he asked.  He frowned.  "No, we did not.  Not in the least.  What name is on it?  Spell it?"  He frowned.  "That's not how you spell DiNozzo."  Xander gave him an odd look before jumping down the last few feet.  "I think it was someone who hacked, yes, ma'am.  No, we're staying here.  Yes, it's back on.  We can release your workers as well.  You might warn them not to laugh next time.  Twice actually," he told her.  He smiled.  "Thank you for that, ma'am.  May I have your name?"  He took mental note of it.  "Thank you.  If you have any more concerns about that file, please flag it to call us first?  Thank you."  He hung up and looked at the guards.  "They're free to go as long as they head directly back to the office."  They nodded and let the guys leave.  Daniel looked at Xander.  "DiNozzo, big I, one Z."

"Fuck me," Xander said blandly.  "Any idea?  Go check the phone lines?"

"Oh, she gave me an address.  I'm going to have Abby look into this."

Xander gave him a worried look.  "You think it's Willow?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"Because apparently we're moving to Cleveland."

"If you find out, let me tell Giles before the FBI breaks in."

"Agreed."  They headed back with the guards, going to call all the other utilities to make sure similar orders hadn't been placed while Abby got to work to see who had hacked.

***

Xander walked out of the portal Dawn created for him, waving at her.  "Giles, we have to talk," he said, nodding out back.  "Now."

"Why?" he asked calmly.

"Because something happened last night and there's a lot of pissed people.  Which you should hear about now."

"One of the girls did something?" he asked calmly.

"Not mine.  Yours."  He pointed.  "Now."  Giles followed him out front because the yard was the only private place around the house.  "Buffy, give us a few?"

She looked over.  "Who did what?" she sighed, coming over.

Xander shut the door.  "Willow hacked every single one of our utilities and told them we're moving to Cleveland."

"Excuse me?" Giles demanded.

Xander nodded.  "That is a Federal offense, Giles.  I can't shield her.  The utility companies turned her in.  The FBI is going to be here in about twenty minutes looking for her.  Daniel and I had to have the 'do you still like her as a friend' talk."

"Why?" Buffy asked calmly.

"Because she endangered the whole prison!" he snapped, glaring at her.  She shrank back.  "We use a forcefield containment system like the Initiative did, Buffy.  That way nothing can break through it.  Fortunately someone knew what they were doing when they put in the backup generators.  It only blinked for a minute and the guards down there had to put three demons back.  One who tried to assassinate the current president."  She shuddered.  "Not to mention how bad this looks on all of us, including you and me.  Me because I'm a well-known person after having to go on air about the dragons, twice.  You because you're the senior slayer and she's our friend."

"Are we going to turn her over?" Giles asked coolly.

"I've managed to make them just talk to her this time and give her a very strong warning. They think it was done out of misguided feelings.  They'll put her on notice, they'll watch her computer.  If she *ever* does something like this again they'll charge her.  If they end up having to charge her now due to a pushy utility company or Homeland Security, because that is considered an act of treason or intended terroristic threat, depending on how they go, then she'll get probation.  I did my best to minimize this for everyone."

"That counts as being a terrorist now?" Buffy asked.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Doing something that would affect the daily operations of a federal agency, IE bomb threats, shutting off their phone or electric service, hacking their computer systems.  Had one of the demons escaped and harmed someone, even an officer, that could be counted as treason."  They both nodded at that.  "I did what I could to minimize this for her and you guys.  None of us need this but something has to be done about her at home too, Giles."

"I agree.  This has gone too far."  He looked at the young man next to him.  "Will she be able to fix this?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  I know Daniel helped me ask for and get an exception based on her doing something for the Council.  Like necessary, finding the evil things' plan, that stuff.  If they find her doing it and she can justify it as an open slayer or DCIS case then they can't get her for it."  Giles sighed in relief.  "That's still not going to get her off the hook this time.  And personally, I deal with enough shit right now from the new guys who can't see that I may not have been a cop or an agent before but I'm damn good at it now to have to deal with the dirty looks because she tried to have all our utilities cut off by forging letters with the senior agent's name on them and misspelling his name."

"You could give that up and just work with us," Buffy said, giving him a look.

"I like what I do, Buffy.  People look up to me.  I save a lot of lives before things happen.  Like that field case in Miami.  They settled down to help us stop it faster because I was there.  Paul gets ignored on demon cases most of the time.  There's demons who ask the other agents if they brought me with them because they know it's going to be bad if I'm there with a team that's not mine."  She nodded, looking down again.  He tipped her face up.  "I love you guys, every one of you, even you, but I like what I do.  It's important to me.  It also helps you guys a lot by taking out some of the things you'd have to deal with otherwise."

She stared into his eyes then nodded.  "I can understand that.  Watching you work the case here showed me a lot.  The demons are scared and respectful of me.  They're more respectful than scared of you."

Xander smiled.  "I still have the rep of going to tear creatures apart if they hurt you girls or another team, but yeah.  They know I'm fair and I listen.  That's why the first thing I did in Miami was tell the slayers to let everyone know I was taking every single demon complaint in the city to not only find out who had started it but also to solve a lot of other problems at the same time since we were meddling anyway.  If Tony had done that, he'd get a few dozen.  We got over two hundred."  She smiled at that.  "I love you, you're still like my family, Buffy, but damned if I don't want to smack Willow around for making me choose this time."

She nodded.  "I can understand that."  She gave him a hug, looking over as cars pulled in. "Ten minutes."

"It'll take them a few to get out of the car."  He looked at Giles.  "Where is she?  If she runs she's in worse trouble."

"In her room."  He nodded at the agents getting out.  "Xander told us what happened.  I am appalled at what she did."

"Where is Miss Rosenburg, sir?"

"In her room."  He led them up to her room, tapping first.  "Girls, there's some agents here who need to speak to Willow."  Kennedy opened the door.  "Where is she?"

"Bathroom."  She let them inside, looking at Giles.  "What did she do?"

"Tried to have DCIS's utilities shut down," Xander said as he came up the stairs.  "Willow!"

"Give me a chance to wash my hands!" she yelled back.  Two agents went to get her as she came out, making her give them a funny look.  "What?  Did I do something?"

"Um, yeah," Xander said dryly.  "We have two hackers on staff, Willow."  She went pale. "You had the power shut off at the base."

She glared.  "You don't need to be out there."

"You shut off the prison's power too," he said dryly.  She went paler.  "And yes, I do need to be out there.  I do damn good work out there.  Very important work."

"They're humoring you."

"If they did, I wouldn't do more work than most of the other agents," he said coolly, crossing his arms over his chest.  "Since I do and I go on the hardest of the cases, that kinda disproves your theory, Willow."  She sneered.  "Do not open your mouth again unless you want me to spank you."  She shrank back.  He stepped closer, staring at her.  "I'm so pissed at you right now.  You have no idea the levels of pissed I hit today."  He looked at the agent beside her.  "I'm going back to the base."

"Thank you, Harris."

"Why do I creep you guys out?"

"We look at you like we look at new agents who come from a background that probably included a cult that had violent tendencies.  You can toe the party line, you can talk the talk, you can spout back the book probably, but how long before you snap and start spouting the other book?"  Xander nodded at that.  "Though, you're in the right place because if you start spouting off hunting facts, they'll need to know anyway."

Xander gave them a sad smile.  "Half of the new guys give me odd looks because I'm not a former cop or agent.  I do try not to be violent unless necessary."

"Yeah but you also bought arms off the black market and fired it off in downtown Seattle."

"There was an ascension.  It saved one of my teammates."

"We feel the same way about psychic agents too," the other said quietly.  "You're odd but helpful, even if the oddness is why you're so helpful in your case.  The violent tendencies just enhance that."

Xander nodded.  "Thanks for telling me, guys.  I try really hard to act like a normal agent."

"You'll never be FBI, Secret Service, or anything other than DCIS or possibly ATF, Harris.  The rest of us are uptight and proud of the fact.  Wolfe is like us, you're a wildcard in many ways."

Xander smiled.  "Then I guess I'm in the right place.  Thanks, guys."

"Not a problem, Harris."  They walked Willow into her room to confiscate all her computer gear for now.

Xander looked at Buffy, who was giving him a funny look.  "They're right.  The Secret Service guys iron and starch their boxers."  She smiled.  "I'm not that uptight and I do make agents nervous because I tend to bring things with me that I might need, including weapons."  He shrugged then grinned back.  "It's good to know."

"You could still do more with us."

He kissed her on the forehead.  "Only if we keep in the lull we're presently having.  Did you hear about the chaos guy?"

"I did hear.  I saw his webpage too.  Little idiot.  Giles went off swearing in Latin again."  He laughed.  "You going home?"

"Yeah, I'm going home."  He looked at the closed door then at her, nodding at it.  "Watch her?"

"I am.  That's wrong of her to do and would've made me get messy tonight."

"Yeah, me too."  He gave her a hug.  "Thanks, Buff."  He texted Dawn on his way down the stairs, nodding at Giles.  "By the way, got a teacher at the school arrested for hitting on Brenda.  She's cowering and offered to tell them everything she had ever done so she doesn't have to come near me ever again."  Dawn opened the portal and he walked through.  "We'll call later, Giles."  He waved before it shut.  He looked at Dawn and Dean, who was waiting with her.  "They're there.  She told me they're humoring me."

"You do *way* too much work for them to be humoring you," Dawn reminded him, giving him a hug.  "Now and then you forget that and that's wrong of you to forget.  We all depend on you."

"I know."  He gave her a squeeze, looking over at Dean with a grin.  "Want one too?"

"I'm good without hugs.  Hugs scare me."  Xander moved to hug him so he ran out. "Ha!" he called back.  "Missed me."  Annabelle got him with a nerf dart.  "Hey!  Be nicer!"

She smirked.  "Don't pick on Xander then."  Xander came out and gave her a hug too.  "Thank you, I needed that.  I was nearly trapped in the big machine today."

He smiled.  "It'll be okay and they're stopping Willow.  She's in deep this time."  He went back to the office.  "They're there.  She said it's because you're humoring me."

Daniel snorted, shaking his head.  "No, I don't humor you, Xander.  If I did, you wouldn't have a form to fill out."

Xander groaned, going to do that.  He looked then sighed and filled it out.  It was a complaint form.  The FBI needed it.

"What happened?" Flack asked quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "Willow decided we were all moving to Cleveland because we didn't need to be an agency and I wasn't needed here.  She hacked the utility companies using a misspelled version of Tony's name to say we were all moving to Cleveland."

"Charming," he mouthed.  Xander nodded.  "You good?"

Xander shook his head.  "No."  He went back to the report form.  He reread it, letting Tony read it and then hand it back with a nod.  He signed it and Tony signed his, taking them in to Daniel.  "Okay, my desk is still clear," he said dryly.  They all laughed.  "Let me go start on the weapons."  He went to do that, leaning into the office.  "I'm going to start on the weapons."

"Sure.  You do that."  Xander smiled.  "You'll be okay?"

"I want to beat her ass," he admitted.  "In many ways, while yelling even.  Right now, it's safer if I clean guns."

Daniel nodded.  "It could be.  Want my zat?"

Xander smiled.  "Don't tempt me."

"Fine."  Xander walked off happier.  That was the only good thing about today.  They had managed to get some of his fears out of the way.  It was punishing him for no reason. The other guys didn't see Xander the way he thought they did.  He went to talk to them, closing the door with a look down the hallway.  He waved Xander off.  "Birthday party," he mouthed.

"I will scream and run away," he said, coming in to grab his soda.  "No birthday parties on my next one."  He left again, closing the door behind him.  He knew it was an excuse.  Maybe Daniel could make Eric quit giving him the pity look.

Daniel looked at his people.  "Guys, quit giving him the looks."  They all looked guilty. "Xander is one of the most capable people in this agency, no matter where he started out.  I know the other agents are jumpy because he's never had the same training they did.  They consider him like some strange yet helpful agent that should be sitting in the corner for his funny feelings that save lives.  I will not have that here.  Xander has a gift for the work.  He's done a lot of good for this agency and most of us.  If it wasn't for him, it'd have fallen in when Tony was running things on his own."

Tony nodded at that, leaning back and putting his arms behind his head so he was comfortable.  "He's noticed you guys giving him the looks.  I'm not going to lose Xander over you guys not feeling like he's an agent.  He is one.  He has been one.  Get over it," Daniel ordered.  They all nodded at that.  "Does anyone have any doubts about his qualifications?  Especially after the Miami team case?"

"He did a lot more than I did," Paul admitted.  Horatio looked at him.  "I know what my place on the team is, Horatio.  My place is to help Xander.  Xander leads my team.  We get handed the worst cases because he's who he is.  The demons respect him because of who he is and what he's done.  My job is to back Xander up and to fill in the administrative and computer gaps he has.  The same as whichever CSI goes with us most of the time fills in that gap.  Xander doesn't do science stuff at all.  He can identify some things by sight but others he has to look at the list too if we need to know beyond the category of 'slime', 'scale', or 'goo'."

Messer nodded.  "Xander handles things.  That's his rep.  The same as he handles things when you bother the girls or one of us.  They respect him more than they're scared of him.  They've seen him manage some pretty impressive victories from the crack of his ass.  Including changing the battle plan for graduation the night before."

Daniel nodded.  "I have a full account of that.  Xander did amazing leading a bunch of high school kids whose only idea of combat was video games against an impressive demonic force there to herd the humans so the mayor could eat them.  The fact he only called up the extra kids the night before and gave them what little training he could is amazing, and the fact he lost twenty-three out of over three hundred spectators and sixty kids defending is even better."  Mac swallowed at that.  "Even Jack said he couldn't pull that off when I shared it with him.  If Xander was inclined toward the military, Jack said he'd have a protege.  Not that he needs bootcamp with the memories that one possession gave him."

He looked around the room.  "Xander may not be a cop or a former agent.  Xander may be a tough guy who likes weapons a lot.  So?  He's good at what he does, people.  That's all I care about.  For that matter, I send him on the hardest cases because he can handle them.  I can't send many of you out to handle things like the weapons network he's busted thanks to the one in New York that started off a domino effect.  Or the case in Miami that stopped a national problem going on because he stopped it there before it could really spread."  Horatio shuddered at that.  "Exactly.  His rep calls him a white knight and he is. This wasn't even his battle to begin with until a friend got taken.  You guys giving him the funny looks, it's driving him out of the job he's done so good at.  Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir," they agreed.

Mac raised his hand.  "Should we maybe drill Xander in things that we learned at the academy?"

"Why?  He does most of them naturally," Tony told him.  "He doesn't know the full rule book yet, but he's been working on it.  Hell, half the time Xander fills in for more than two other jobs.  If he had more than 'this is how you bandage and stitch' training he'd be helping out in the infirmary too.  Speaking of, boss, do I have to go salt the sidewalks?"

"I sent them to do it."

"I fell coming in from lunch.  John nearly fell at lunch."

"I know.  They're going to be sorry if they don't manage it today.  Find me more?"  Tony nodded, moving to get to work on that.  He looked at the guys he had, and the ladies.  "If you have any doubts about any agent's ability to perform on a case, you come to me, people.  House does when he thinks someone's too tired to work.  You can too."

Stella raised her hand slowly.  "You pick on him."

"Just on his clothes.  That's the only thing I want to change about Xander and most of the time he doesn't care about what he's wearing as long as he's comfortable."  Tony and Speed nodded at that.  Ryan too.  "So I can ask him to put on a comfortable, yet more dressy shirt and he doesn't mind.  The girls nag him about his shirts anyway."

"I asked about the baggy jeans," Tony admitted, looking at him.  "Can we torch his uncle?"

"He's already taken a deal on attempted blackmail of a federal agent."  He grimaced.  "Though I wanted to hit the man.  I nearly did hit the man.  Repeatedly."  They shared a look.  "Yes, it's probably what you're thinking, Tony.  You remember what happened as they woke up."

"Yeah, unfortunately so does he."  He went back to looking.  "There is a maintenance service in town, boss."

"Send them an offer to interview.  Today."  Tony did that.  "Any other doubts about Xander being able to handle the job?"  No one said anything.

Then Horatio cleared his throat.  "I'm more worried because I've seen signs of him getting ready to snap."

"He doesn't dump his stress very well.  He used to put it into his job when he was hunting full time.  He used to work construction if it ever comes up.  So I'm sure he wore it out hamming in endless nails all day."  They gaped.  "Yes, Xander was working a full time job, had a demanding girlfriend, and was hunting in Sunnydale."  They still looked stunned.  He smiled.  "Right now, we're worried because he's having nightmares and visions.  Somehow he got a vision meant for me the last night."  Dean knocked then walked in.  "Problem?"

"Xander said to quit talking about him."

"I'm telling them why they don't have to worry about him."

"You're embarrassing him," he corrected.  "Not like the girls praised him."  They shared a look.  "Quit.  Let Dad handle it."  He left again.

"Xander is like an extra Winchester some days," Calleigh admitted.

Tony grinned at her. "Just think, he's the prototype for what all the new watchers have to be like.  Gibbs asked if the kid wore tights after so many stories of 'Xander did something' somehow."  He went back to his email.  "Boss, they'll be here at two to talk to you."

"That works for me."  He looked at them.  "Any other doubts?"  No one said anything.  "Good.  Sword practice Sunday is mandatory if you know nothing about them, just in case you need it someday.  Make sure your guns are either in the lockers or clean them yourselves and make sure you have a full set of each type of bullet."

"Where are they?  I couldn't find any," Calleigh said.

"The gun vault, like they usually are," Tony said, giving her a dirty look.  "Those four big crates in there? Those are spare bullets.  When Xander can't sleep, he goes to make bullets.  He and Benny Ray used to sit down to do that once a month."

"That reminds me.  Tony, you and Calleigh find someone to do that job?"

"On it, boss," he said happily.  "Already got two in mind.  Going to talk to them next week."

"Good.  Right now, John, Dean, and Xander are filling in.  Also, if you don't know where things are in the armory, go have him give you the tour and show you how the portal system works, people."  He opened the door and went back to his office, finding a voicemail flashing at him.  "What now?" he muttered.  He listened then sighed and called the White House.  "Ma'am, Doctor Jackson.  No, that's not a good time for me.  I have to interview new maintenance people because ours aren't doing anything.  Including salting the sidewalks.  We've had people falling, including one of the girls who rebroke her leg.  After four is better for me.  Or I can come back later."  He smiled, making a note for himself.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up and leaned back, watching his computer blink.  He moved the mouse, finding the message about a new conference call.  He clicked on it, getting Jack.  "Problems already?"

"The president wants me to retire from here and come be your secretary."

Daniel smiled.  "I don't have a secretary.  I don't need a secretary.  Eighty percent of what I do is proofread reports and then sign off on them."

Jack smiled.  "I pointed that out and that I'd look horrible in a skirt.  He went to have a headache and call Russia."

Daniel smirked.  "Is our president taking funny things?"

"I'm not sure.  I know he was going to talk to you."

"About four-thirty.  He was going to call at two but I have a new maintenance contract I need to hand out.  Our current ones won't salt things and we're all tired of slipping."

"Makes sense to me."  He smirked.  "You okay firing them?"

"I warned them earlier.  It hasn't been fixed.  Oh well.  If I have to, I'll let someone do it for me."

"I think that's the secretary's job."

He smirked at him.  "Not hardly.  An assistant director maybe and I'm told I need one of those too."

Jack laughed.  "How you manage things with no people I don't know, Danny.  Speaking of, did you find Dammit yet?"

"Ammit, Jack.  No D."  Jack shrugged and looked smug.  "Not yet."  He used the desk phone to call Xander.  "Any idea where Ammit was hiding?"  He listened.  "Jack's wondering.  Sure, if you're bored.  If not, I can."  He hung up.  "We'll look around for you, Jack."

"Thanks, Danny.  One less job I have to do around here.  By the way, we sent ballots to Atlantis."

"Good idea!  Though I can see John running this place.  It might be more stressful than up there, but we're more fun too."

"If you say so.  I think he'd go insane."

"Insane is a state of mind, Jack."  He smirked and hung up on his friend.  He started a search on Ammit to see if anything on her had shown up in any museum.  That was the most likely place.  If not, the researcher who had it would be bragging about his find because bragging was as important as publishing in the academic world.  One of the many things he hated about it.

***

Tony looked at all the people going shopping with them and sighed.  "We should take one of the new SUV's."

Xander looked at him.  "The guys can take their own cars."

"No way I'm not driving mine," Dean agreed.

"That still leaves Horatio, me, and Xander in my mustang," Tony told him.

"Xander can ride with us," Sam offered, glancing at Dean, who shrugged.  "He did okay on the way to Vegas."

"Fine.  Horatio, my mustang's in my parking spot."  He nodded, heading that way.  "Three hours, meet you at the one shopping center with the multiplex and the hotdog stand?"  Everyone nodded at that and headed off.  That's where they had taken the girls school shopping.  They all knew it.  He followed Horatio out to his car, doing the alarm and locks so he could get in.  "Missing the hummer?"

"A lot," he admitted.

"So buy one."

"They're not very efficient."

"No, they're not," Tony admitted.  He smiled.  "But they do give you a sense of power."

"Yes they do," he agreed quietly.  "You can look down on all the other drivers."  Tony smiled, starting his engine and turning on the heater before they backed out of the parking spot.  John had already gone.  Dean, Sam, and Xander were headed for the gate.  "How old is the Impala?"

"Sixty-seven.  John said it was his car first."

"That probably has a lot of miles on it then," Horatio said, giving it a fond look.

"Yup.  About eight hundred thousand or so.  Seven something from what Sam said.  Then again they were roving around the US hunting since Sam was six months old until they got recruited by Xander."

"You and he really did hire most everyone, didn't you?"

"I hired most of them.  Xander hired a few.  He hired Paul after interviewing him since it was his team that had the open spot.  He hired Ryan and brought Speed.  He hired the guys, who brought their father after the invasion.  That helped a lot more than we thought at the time because John's not a bad parent and he set some better boundaries than Xander could with all the time he spent working.  Back then Xander was even doing some of the maintenance job.  We had guys who did the trash and the grass but things like sticking doors or lightbulbs only got done if you asked Xander.  Then Danny hired on the guys he just fired.  We seem to watch Xander for a bit, see where he's found a spot that needs filling in for and then find someone to do it for him."  Horatio chuckled quietly.

"We do."  He smiled.  "At first we weren't even paying Xander because I goofed.  Now we're getting onto Giles because he doesn't pay Xander and it's not a goof."  He plugged in his hands free system and put his earbud on, calling Wesley.  "It's me.  Did we ever get Xander his second paycheck?  Well, we are going shopping, Wesley."  He smiled.  "That's good to know.  Back pay too?"  He smirked.  "Isn't it in a safe account?"  He laughed.  "Even better.  Thanks.  No, Daniel set up an account for him at the bank in town.  Sure."  He hung up.  "He'll go raid his apartment to find the checkbook for him.  Xander went to get some of the money last night."

"Didn't he win some in Las Vegas?"

"A lot but he put it into an account so the IRS couldn't take most of it the next day."

"That's probably wise of him."

"Very wise of him.  How are you and Speed doing?"

"We're getting closer again.  He's happy here.  I can see why he's happy."  Tony shot him a grin then went back to paying attention to the road.  "It's still strange and I'm concerned about what Tim picked up from his cohabitation with Xander."

"Probably a lot of mother henning the girls, Horatio.  Relax about it.  Get to know *Tim*, not as he was but as he is.  Death does change a guy from what I heard."

"True."  He pointed at a slow-moving car.  "Should we call that in?"

Tony looked then nodded.  "Yup."  He dialed the emergency number.  "This is Agent DiNozzo.  I'm headed toward the city on ten and Old Man Tyler is driving.  Um...."  He looked around.  "We're a few miles away from a red barn with a huge smiley face on the side?  No idea otherwise.  Yeah, that sounds right."  He checked his speed then the car in front of him.  "We're right behind him and he's going about forty at the moment, looking around.  Sure, we can trail him that long."  He hung up.  "Old Man Tyler's about ninety and he's a sweet guy.  Talks to all the girls when they run into him.  Tells some great war stories to them and Gibbs.  He should not be driving however.  He's a bit senile."

"There's many of those in Miami."

"I figured there were."  He saw the car slow and frowned, backing their speed down as well.  Then the car stopped in the middle of the road.  Tony stopped right behind the car and got out with his phone, going to check on him.  "Mr. Tyler?" he called as he got closer.  "It's Agent DiNozzo, from the base, sir.  The one with all the young girls.  Are you all right?"  No answer.  He got closer and tapped on the window.  "Mr. Tyler?"  The man glared then gunned the engine.  "They're going to find you anyway, Mr. Tyler.  Are you all right?  Do you need medical attention?"  He started to move the car.  "Don't do that.  I won't let you tell the girls any stories."  The car stopped and the man panted.

Tony opened the door and squatted down.  "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.  The man shook his head.  "Let me get someone."  He called back.  "It's DiNozzo.  Mr. Tyler stopped in the middle of the road and he's short of breath.  I think we could use an ambulance more than a helpful ride home.  I can hear sirens.  Horatio, turn on my blinkers?"  He reached over to do that.  "Please.  His pulse is a little fast too," he said while checking it.  He nodded at the cop car that pulled in.  "Cops are here, thanks, Dispatcher."  He hung up.  "He suddenly stopped, then started to move again but now he's panting and his pulse is a bit fast."  He got out of their way.

"Oh, Bob," the officer said, shaking his head.  "Are you all right, Bob?"  Bob shook his head.  "Let me get an ambulance."  His face was turning red.  "Guys, are your docs there today?" he asked them.

Tony nodded.  "Yeah, Chase is.  House is off playing on his motorcycle.  Want me to call?"

"Please."  An ambulance pulled up.  "Need him to call the base's docs?"

One of the paramedics checked the patient's vitals and nodded.  "Yeah, please, DiNozzo."

"I can do that."  He called in.  "Chase, Tony.  Old Man Tyler's in distress on the road.  We're probably going to need to lifeflight him according to the paramedics here.  Can they bring him back and wait on it there?"  He smiled.  "Short of breath, red in the face, fast pulse.  That'll work.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "Go ahead, we do have a few vials of nitro if we need them according to him."  They nodded and got him loaded, letting the cops handle his car.  Tony watched the ambulance pull off then waved as he slid in to drive, turning off his blinkers.  "I like the old guy.  He's sweet."

"He sounds like it.  He'll hopefully be fine.  Chase is a good doctor."

"For all that he's a grumpy bastard, House is an excellent doctor."

"With a pill habit," Horatio said quietly.

"He's also got a spot on his thigh where there's no muscles after an injury left them eating itself."  Horatio shuddered.  "He's got a need for the painkillers and they don't usually affect his performance.  Though I have heard he tested a drug once by giving himself PCP."

Horatio shuddered again.  "That's insane."

"He's a genius."

"Same thing in some cases," Horatio agreed.  They went on, heading toward the mall and the fun task of making Xander buy real clothes.

***

Dean checked his watch when Xander came out of the bathroom.  "Tony's late."

"The scanner in the truck said they had to stop Old Man Tyler and have him airlifted," John said as he walked over.  "DiNozzo probably ran into him."

"Well, looks like Chase isn't bored today," Xander said.  "Hope he's all right."

"He survived nearly being killed by a landmine.  He's a tough old guy," John said with a smile.  "You don't get too many made like that anymore."  He clapped Xander on the back.  "We could start with the basics.  New underwear.  T-shirts."

"The girls will steal them anyway," Sam said, grimacing some.  "One got my favorite t- shirt the other day."

"No, it's in my laundry," Xander told him.  "I found it this morning in a sheet."  Sam grinned at him for that.  "Come get it later because I got Dean's purple boxer briefs too."

"Maybe our clothes should be married with as much time as they spend with yours," Dean teased.

Xander shrugged. "They like how mine smell."  He took another sip of his soda.  "Besides, I'm good on boxers."

John looked at him. "You only have two left after the girls raided the other night, kid.  Come on."  He dragged the boys with him, going to make sure they had boxers.  Xander and Dean both had this nasty habit of going commando after the girls raided.  Which reminded him, he needed to do another inspection.  He was missing too many of his t-shirts to Brenda again.

Sam picked up a pair of smurf boxer, giving them a sad smile.  Dean saw and gave him a nudge.  "Cute."

"Thanks."  He put them into his basket.  His father gave him an odd look.  "Jess's favorite t-shirt to sleep in had smurfs."

"I saw and it was a good-looking smurf too," Dean teased, making Sam grin.

"Tell me you didn't stare at your brother's girlfriend," John demanded.

"Well, yeah.  Who knew Sammy had taste?"

Xander looked over.  "Do you need to be in Cleveland too?" he asked dryly.

"Hell no.  I learned my lesson."

"Didn't you have to do something like that after the vacation in Las Vegas?" Sam teased.

"That's been months and I treated mine as soon as I figured it out.  He only found the dead ones."  He shot his brother a dirty look  "I know you had them."

"Once.  And only once."  He smirked.

John walked off moaning.  "Quit or I'm selling you both into marriage."

"Yes, sir," all three called after him.  Xander found a Papa Smurf set and handed them to Sam, earning a smile.  He picked up some of his own but Dean looked at it.

"Not your size, Xander."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Can't be.  That's Dad's size and his waist is bigger than yours."

Xander looked.  "That's what size I wear."

Sam pulled on his current pair.  "These are at least two sizes too big."  He changed them out and handed him the right size, getting a sigh of displeasure.  "Why boxers instead of boxer briefs?"

"Too tight.  I feel like I'm being groped."

"Some guys do I guess."

Dean shook his head.  "I'd rather have mine snug so they don't bounce when I have to run."

"I can't believe you two are talking about that subject," John complained as he came back, handing the boys each a few packets of t-shirts.  Xander looked at his then at him. "What?" he asked dryly.

"Colors?"

"No.  Those are for under your shirts, kiddo."

Xander grimaced.  "Only dress shirts."  He went to get some with more colors in them, including some of the lighter blues and greens.  Dean tossed over another package of black, earning a sigh but a nod too.  Sam handed over another few packages of boxers.  "I only brought so much with me, guys.  I still have to buy sneakers too."

John looked at him then shook his head, walking off.  "Didn't you bring your ATM card, Xander?"

"Fees," he shot back.

"Three whole bucks," John reminded him.  "You don't use your paychecks, kid."

"Fine," he muttered.  "This time."  John just smirked and let him find the sneakers he wanted before they left the department store.  Checking out wasn't that hard, even if Xander did wince.  Which meant he was still shopping at thrift stores.  They'd have to fix that sometime.  Sam led the way into his favorite store to get jeans, dragging Xander by the arm.  The salesmen found a tape measure for him so they could figure out what size Xander really was.  Then they got the next size up in case of a sudden weight increase.   Xander balked at more than three pairs but Sam was adamant.  Dean came in to referee.  He lost to Sammy too.  John stepped in to calm him down but Sam was stubborn.  More stubborn than all the slayers and Xander combined.  Xander snuck away from his friends, noticing a woman in there was checking him out.  "Fussy friends," he said quietly.  "They think I wear things too baggy."

She looked.  "You could show yourself off better."

He smiled. "Anytime I do that I attract bad girls who want to take over the world."

She laughed.  "I'm sure you do."  He winked and went to try on a pair he knew were going to be tight.  He came out and she moaned quietly, stepping closer.  "I can see why you attract bad girls with bad plans."

"You're not evil, right?" he teased back with a small grin.

"Not today."  He laughed and she got him those, leading him off by his hand to make him help her.  When he tried to go back to his friends after a few minutes of watching her shop, she pulled a knife and he went with her, waving at John and pointing at her.  She waved the hand with the knife then walked him off again.

John nudged Sam, pointing.  "Did Xander just pick up the woman in here with us?"

Sam looked.  "Does she have a knife?"

Dean nodded.  "Yup, she's Xander's sort of woman."  They paid for the jeans and went to save their friend.  Sam came over to distract them wile Dean snuck up on her.  She saw him though and turned to face him, which let John finish boxing her in.  They got her disarmed and down.  That's when John found the bomb.  "Aw, shit," Dean said.

Xander looked then shook his head.  "I don't know how to disarm those."

"We will be shopping," she ordered, getting free and standing up.  "See, I have hours yet.  We will be shopping so I can make someone else pretty for my funeral."  She led Xander off, the three Winchesters following, Dean calling Tony to warn him.  They waved off security.

Sammy jogged over.  "He's a Federal agent.  We're trying to keep her out of harm's way but she has about four hours left.  We've told our people and they're calling someone.  She's demanding they shop so she can make him pretty for her funeral."

"Old friends?"

"She just picked him up in a store.  Xander attracts women like that, dude," he said, looking amused.  "Really, he does.  His last real girlfriend liked to torture unfaithful guys."  That got a nod.  "Get someone and we'll keep her contained.  I work with the Slayers Council."  He nodded, going to call that in and clear most of the mall.  Sam went to help them pick out a new suit for Xander.  He was complaining but yay.  She finally kissed him to shut him up then figured out what he needed and bought it for him.  Then she went to the jewelry store.  He tried to pull away but she dragged him anyway.  He couldn't resist too hard, she had a trigger switch and she'd set it off.

The jewelry store people gave her a fearful look but Sam waved them off.  She picked out what she wanted and they boxed it up quickly.  Sam nudged Xander, nodding at something up the mall.  Xander looked and smiled then pointed at something.  "Drinks are a good idea," he agreed.  She sighed but walked them to one of the drink vendors.  It was in the open, away from all the stores.  Only near some greenery and some benches.  Xander took his soda and moved away slightly.  The boys went with him.  SWAT pounced and she went down, her hands being held out to her sides so she couldn't set anything off.

The head guy stormed over.  "What did you think you were doing?" he demanded.

"Giving into minor demands so she didn't set it off," Xander said.  "She picked me up while the guys were making me buy new jeans."

The captain shook his head.  "That's stupid.  If you had called immediately...."

"She'd have set it off and people would be dead since we were in the middle of a shirt store.  This way we kept track of her, it was a minor demand, it kept her complacent.  All that good stuff.  Sam told the security guard.  Dean called my coworker at DCIS."

The captain stepped back.  "You're with the freak squad?"

Xander glared.  "I'm also with the Slayers Council.  Want to see my ID?"

"No, that's fine."  Tony came jogging over.  "Yours?"

"My secondary senior agent.  DiNozzo, senior agent at DCIS."  He shook his hand.  "Who is she?"

"Someone who picked me up while they were buying me jeans," Xander said dryly.

Tony looked at him for a second.  "I know only evil women like you, Xander, but isn't that going a bit too far to prove that point?  Danny is going to have to tell Jack about this."

"Jack'll say he has the same thing happen probably."  He shrugged and sipped his soda.  "I got her away from normal people and kept her calm and focused on not blowing anyone up.  Good me."

"Fine," the Captain muttered, stomping off behind their prisoner.

"Does he need to do paperwork?" Tony called.

"No, we can.  If we need more, we know where you guys are."  He waved as he walked off.   The news crew outside got into his face.  "Move, people.  She had a bomb, it's disarmed.  Some agents shopping got flirted with by her so they kept her occupied until we could get here.  End of statement."

"Which agency?" one of the reporters yelled.

"DCIS."

One blinked.  "The demon squad people?"  The captain gave her a dirty look.  "Was it one of the well-known ones, Captain?  Harris or DiNozzo or their boss?"

"I saw both Harris and DiNozzo.  There's a few out shopping today.  It's a good day for it.  Now, do you mind?"  They backed off and he got into the lead car, shaking his head at the stupidity of some reporters.  He hated reporters.

Xander looked at Tony.  "She decided she was going to make me pretty for her funeral so I'm done.  I have a suit."  He grinned.

Tony stared for a minute then reached over to smack him extra hard on the head.  "No, you're not and for trying that, you get to buy a second one, Xander."  Xander sulked but Dean and Sam dragged him between them.  Tony looked up at the skylight.  "Why me?" he muttered.

Horatio patted him on the back.  "Is his taste in women contagious?  I'm worried Speed might have picked it up."

"Hopefully not.  There's only so many evil women in the world," John said dryly.  "Though she did pick up a nice black suit."

"Not good enough," Tony said, following the boys.

Dean looked back at the 'adults'.  "At least the girls aren't with us.  They would've torn her apart, taken her credit cards, and taken Xander shopping anyway."

"Tell me you aren't teaching them about credit cards?" Tony begged.

Dean snorted.  "Hell no.  They're good girls.  They're staying good girls," John said firmly.  "Also, they have money to hunt.  We didn't."

"Good point," Tony agreed.

"Then again, Rona already knows how and so does Faith," Sam added.

"Charming," Tony said dryly.  He shook his head as they walked into the suit shop.  The men in there fawned over Xander, finding him two more like the first one.  Tony had to admit, it looked comfortable.  He helped Xander pick out the two colors he wanted from the choices then let him pay for it.  He was not buying Xander clothes.  He wasn't a girl.  Especially not an evil girl.  When another woman came up to them a bit later between stores all the guys sighed when Xander flirted.  She smiled at them and they felt their minds start to go gooey but Xander got them out of sight and got the snake on the back of her neck, freeing them.  Then Xander called Daniel.  Daniel called the locals who came to bag her up.  The snake in her neck was enough for them and they could ship the body back to the base.  Xander skipped off once he filled out the incident report, going to find a place to hide from the shopping.  Dean found him and dragged him back but he could try again later.  After all, he had to have a potty break sometime.  Right?

***

Daniel looked up as a police captain walked into his office with three of his agents and three Winchesters.  "Matched set?" he asked dryly.

"Thanks to them we have found every single woman in our city who has some sort of evil thoughts.  We've made seven arrests.  We've sent you the one demon body with the snake on the neck."  Danny gave him an odd look.  "Should be here in an hour, Director.  Do you think you can keep them from making more work for us?  We like who they found but really!  Seven in one day is too much."

"Not all my fault," Xander defended.  "Dean drew two of them.  John got one too.  I only got three and Tony got the other."

"Their bags are in the cars.  I had my men drive them.  We didn't even think about checking any of the cars.  Think they're done shopping for a bit?"

"They can be, yes, Captain.  I'm sorry."

"No, they probably needed to shop," he said, undoing the cuffs.  "Just keep it rare?"  He left, going to drive his men back to their base so they could all relax.

"Seven?" Danny demanded, looking at them.  "Horatio?"

"Not my fault," he said, holding up a hand.  "I was along to help contain them.  Only two had bombs."

"Bombs too."  He nodded.  "I want reports, gentlemen.  Did it stop you from getting Xander a suit?"

"The evil women paid for most everything," John told him.

Daniel moaned, rubbing his forehead.  "Reports, boys.  All six of you.  Now."  They went to do that in the squad room while he went to the infirmary.  "House, are you sure I'm not having a stroke?" he asked as he walked in.

"You're still not slurring.  Any side related weakness?"

"No," he moaned.  House handed him the bottle of tylenol.  "Thank you.  Is it on the news?"

House looked at him.  "Is what on the news?"

"The seven bad girls they found at the mall.  Two with bombs.  The bad girls even paid for things for them."

House turned on the tv, watching the local news channel happily report on the good work of the local DCIS agents and the SWAT team in saving a local shopping mall many times that afternoon.  "How in the hell?" he muttered.

"Xander draws evil women but only two had bombs."  Horatio walked in and handed over his report then he left again.  Daniel read it over and felt a hysterical laugh start to form.  House took it to read, and started to laugh too.  Chase came in a few minutes later from getting some tea and put them both to bed so he could go yell at Xander for whatever he had done this time.  It was clearly his fault somehow.

Table of Contents

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Partners, Teams, and Slayers.

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Starting Up Right. 2

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Membership and Dues.
. 35

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: To Slay Or Not To Slay. 64

Chronicles of a Slayer by Stephni Warner. 111

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Family. 115

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Dreaming Big. 156

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: New Roles to Play. 193

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Red's Menace. 237

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Recruitment 272

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Conventions. 297

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Petting the Apocalypse. 327

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Relocation. 361

Demon Criminal Investigative Services:  Aliens Too Now?. 401

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Partners, Teams, and Slayers. 433

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Visitors From Another Strange Place. 455

Demon Criminal Investigative Services: Finding a Spot 490