This story takes place roughly two months after Chapter 3. Vin and Ezra have been lovers for just over three months. As before, this chapter is a complete story on its own. However, events of the previous three chapters are referred to, and I would recommend reading those to follow events of this one. As always, words in italics represent internal thoughts.

Feedback: Yes, please. Let me know what worked or what didn't. What you liked or hated. Suggestions for future chapters are always welcomed, but may not actually be used.

ONE

Vin Tanner rode out of town for his usual morning patrol. Although he was keenly aware of what was going on around him, Vin was mentally focused on a problem he'd been wrestling with for the past few days. Unconsciously, his right hand rose to pat his chest, reassuring himself that the key to his lover's room was still there. It rested safely hidden beneath his shirt, securely hanging around his neck from a thin strip of rawhide, just as it had for the past three months.

It was so much more than just a key. Only three days after they had become lovers, Ezra Standish had given it to Vin. It was a genuine, tangible display of trust, love and affection. It gave Vin free access to Ezra's room, to all that he possessed, and most importantly, to the man himself. That was something, which to Vin's knowledge, no one else could actually lay claim to. Vin couldn't help but see it as a symbol of Ezra's feelings for him.

And there was more that Ezra had given him over the past few months. The wily cardsharp let him make use of his personal library, expanding Vin's knowledge of the world, as well as giving him the opportunity to practice his hard won literacy. He trusted Vin to handle his books with the respect, and care, such beautiful volumes deserved. He shared his expensive, hard to come by, single malt scotch. He routinely handed out candy to the children he'd been teaching, but always made sure to save a piece or two for Vin, indulging the tracker's infamous sweet tooth. He tolerantly provided Vin with stories of the places he'd been, never hesitating to regale the tracker with tales of places and people Vin hadn't even known existed until meeting Ezra.

Vin had returned the favor, sharing of himself with Ezra, the same way the gambler had with him. Vin had told him stories of his past, educating Ezra on the different tribes, their languages and customs. To his amazement, Ezra had listened with rapt attention, clearly interested in those stories, often drawing comparisons between the tribes and what he called, 'aboriginal people of other countries and continents'. The tracker had shyly asked Mrs. Anders, the owner and cook at the restaurant, to have pies on hand, always aiming for Ezra's favorite. He made a point of watching Ezra's back while he played poker, ensuring this lover's safety as well as he could.

But what was playing on Vin's mind was that Ezra didn't have a key, or more accurately, a token or symbol of Vin's love, something he could touch, see, and hang on to when everything else faded to a dim memory. Since he'd gotten the key, Vin found himself playing with it, often using it as a center point. His fingers would run over it again and again, helping him balance his thoughts and emotions. Even when they were apart, Vin had this solid, immutable proof of their connection, their love. It was comforting, and reassuring, to a man who'd spent a fair amount of his life with little he could actually hold on to.

Vin's mother had died when he was five, leaving him essentially alone in the world and on his own. He didn't have much that he could call his own, always moving from place to place. Anything he couldn't wear, or carry, often got left behind. Vin learned early in life that it was best not to become too attached to places or things. When he rode out of town each morning, every thing he needed to survive, and every thing he valued went with him. With the exception of his friends, especially Ezra, all else he left behind was unimportant, and could be easily replaced.

Ezra's childhood, despite having a mother, or rather perhaps because of his mother, had been decidedly similar to Vin's. The others might believe Ezra's books, wardrobe, and fancy doodads were incredibly important to him, but Vin knew better. Yes, all those things mattered, and were valued, but Ezra could walk away from most of them without looking back or feeling regret. They could be replaced, and had been many times before.

Both men had things they routinely never went anywhere without, aside from their weaponry, there were items of profound sentimental importance. Vin's knife was one. It had been a gift from a long time friend. For Ezra, it was the pocket watch he always wore. It had belonged to a comrade in arms who'd died saving Ezra's life at the battle of Antietam.

The tracker knew without a doubt that Ezra would treasure a token of affection from him. And he wanted to give Ezra something. Something that would express how he felt, and would provide for Ezra the same sense of permanence and security that the key to Ezra's room gave Vin.

There in lay the problem. He didn't know what to give him. Vin wanted something that would suit Ezra. Something that struck the same chord for the gambler as it did for the tracker. They were sometimes so different, that Vin worried about misjudging what would make the right gift.

It shouldn't matter, or have even been an issue that Vin debated internally for the past few days. But it did, and it had been. He knew Ezra would appreciate anything he gave him. Ezra didn't honestly seem to expect Vin to give him any more than the pleasure of his company, his love and his time. And maybe that was why it did matter. Because Ezra gave so much, and expected so little, Vin wanted him to know it was appreciated. That if it was possible, he'd give Ezra the world. All the other man had to do was ask for it, and Vin would do his level best to get it. It never occurred to Vin that his willingness to do so was all Ezra wanted or needed.

The key suited Vin. It was such a simple thing, utilitarian and plain, but Vin had no intention of ever parting with it. Not even if Ezra moved, and it no longer served its original purpose of granting him access to Ezra's sanctuary. It was his.

Vin sighed heavily. If Ezra were a woman, he could simply give him a ring. It was traditional. Something expected, and readily understood, a symbol nearly as old as the sacrament of marriage. ['Cept we ain't really married. Well, not in the usual sense anyway. Think o' us as married. Know Ez does too. 'Sides, Ez already has two rings. Can't see him wantin' another one.]

Ezra always wore on one hand a plain, unadorned gold ring, which looked like it might have been a wedding band once, and on the other one, he wore a ring set with a square cut ruby. After they had gotten together as a couple, Vin had found himself wondering what had happened to Ezra's wife, and what sort of woman had captured his heart. He knew something must have happened to her, because the gambler would never have gotten involved with him if the lady in question was still out there. Ezra took the promises he made seriously, and Vin couldn't see the man ever cheating on a woman he'd promised to love forever. In moments of honest reflection, Vin wanted to know if he measured up to this mystery woman.

So, a few weeks ago, when they were alone in Ezra's room, Vin screwed up his courage, and asked Ezra, "Ez... what happened to your wife?"

"Wife?" Ezra had raised both eyebrows, clearly confused by the question.

Vin tapped the gold band on his hand, his touch hesitant and wary. Ezra had just smiled, and shook his head, cupping Vin's face with both hands. He placed a tender kiss on Vin's forehead, before pulling away giving Vin a smile. The smile was soft, and warm, easing the nervousness Vin had felt. A man's past was not something to be taken lightly or delved into without a certain amount of caution. Chris Larabee tended to waffle between violent and sullen whenever the subject of his deceased family came up. Vin had been worried that he might have unintentionally trespassed with Ezra by raising the issue.

"I was never married, Vin." Ezra's tone was as soft and warm as his smile. Green eyes sent messages of reassurance as well. "The ring was ante in a poker game several years ago. It fit, and I kept it."

"Why?" Vin had asked. Ezra didn't seem inclined to keep other items from the many poker games Vin had observed over the past year. He had wondered what made this ring worth hanging on to.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder, and waved a hand in a vague, meaningless gesture. "Because gold is always good currency, no matter what form it takes. Rings are easy to transport, and this one is unlikely to raise eyebrows, or garner much recognition the way a more distinctive piece of jewelry might."

Vin nodded, understanding Ezra's logic. He'd seen barter used more often than not in this part of the world when paper money was sometimes suspect. Particularly right after the war. And Vin could readily understand getting rid of a more identifiable piece of jewelry. Not everything offered in a poker game came without a past that was suspect. It made sense for Ezra not to hang on to something that might be traced back to him or attract undo attention. His profession made enough enemies without adding to it.

Vin tapped the ruby ring, deciding since he was already committed to a course of action, he might as well go all the way. "And this one?"

"My inheritance." Ezra stated calmly.

"Your daddy?" Vin had asked, surprised. Ezra never mentioned his father.

"No." Ezra shook his head in firm denial. "My uncle Malcolm."

"The one who taught ya how to use a sling and a bow? The guy who taught at West Point?" Vin remembered Ezra mentioning the man only once. It was one of the first pieces of Ezra's past he'd been given.

"The one and the same." Ezra grinned, clearly pleased that Vin had remembered those details. "He left it to me in his will. Evidently, I made a rather favorable impression on the man in the brief time I stayed with him."

Vin shook his head, snapping back to the present when Peso shied at his own shadow. "Knock that off, ya knot head." Vin lightly slapped the horse's neck in reprimand, easily preventing the gelding from shying any further.

Vin sighed. None of his earlier thoughts really got him any closer to finding a solution to his current problem. He'd considered asking Chris, but rejected the idea. Not that Chris might not have some good ideas. Vin was fairly certain his best friend would have something to offer. But the gunslinger had only courted women. And Vin had a feeling any suggestion his best friend might have simply wouldn't apply where Ezra was concerned. Same held true for Buck Wilmington. The ladies man might know a great deal about what to give a woman when courting her favor, but somehow Vin didn't think that would translate well to courting Ezra.

[We're not exactly courtin' either. Might be easier if we was. Sort of did all that when we was getting ta be friends. Which is s'posed ta the whole point of courtin' ...getting ta know each other. I don't think flowers or sweet words is what Ez would be wantin' from me. Ain't what I want from him, know that much. An' ya can't hold any o' those things in yer hand.]

Vin had idly wondered if a woman's point of view might not be more helpful. [Can't hurt.] He wasn't too far from Nettie Welles' ranch. Maybe she would have an idea of what he could do. [Lord knows I'm not getting anywhere on my own. Jus' have to find a way to ask that won't let the cat outta the bag.]

So far the only ones Vin and Ezra told about their relationship were Buck and Chris. They had decided early on that simply broadcasting their liaison was not a good idea. The reigning moral code, and Christian sensibility being what it was, neither man felt their romantic involvement would be readily accepted by the townspeople. And both men were aware that it would take just one of their fellow peacekeepers' disgust, dismay, displeasure, or whatever negative emotion one might care to express, to create an irreparable rift among them. Vin and Ezra had agreed to behave in a sensible fashion toward one another when in public, and to honestly answer questions, if and when, they were asked. They were not going to live a lie, but they were not going to openly subject themselves to ridicule and persecution either. To date, only Chris and Buck had noticed anything sufficiently out of the ordinary to raise the question.

Chris had noticed almost immediately a new closeness between them. But his acceptance had started out as shaky, almost hesitant, and definitely conditional. And had stayed that way until two months ago, when he'd finally come to terms with them being a couple. While a lot of Vin's anger at what Chris had to say initially had leaked through, Vin had been careful not to let his friend know just how disappointed he'd been. He was equally careful not to let on how pleased and gratified he was to finally receive unconditional acceptance.

Vin had chosen to respond calmly, knowing a matter-of-fact approach would be the best. The gunslinger had needed that time to come around, and realize Vin's relationship with Ezra was really no different than the one Chris had with his wife, Sarah. Vin meant what he said to Chris; it didn't matter how long he took to get there, just as long as he did. Their friendship remained sound throughout, and was as strong or stronger than it had ever been.

Buck, on the other hand, had been immediately comfortable with the whole situation, something that had amazed Vin. The tracker simply hadn't expected a confirmed lover of woman to understand his and Ezra's desire to be with each other. He had expected Buck to find the idea of two men in love with each other to be as alien a concept as a man learning to fly. But the tall cowboy had been far more at ease, and more informed than Vin ever thought possible. Buck hadn't been the least bit judgemental, and much to Vin's embarrassment, Ezra's prediction of the ladies man asking intimate questions had been accurate. Whenever Buck could catch Vin alone, he seemed to delight in teasing Vin about his sex life, always attempting to get a rise out of the laid back tracker. So far, Vin had succeeded in maintaining his composure and continued to hold the upper hand, in no small part because he realized Buck's teasing signaled genuine acceptance.

As far as he knew, Buck had given up trying to get the better of Ezra. The gambler was just too sharp-tongued, and sharp-witted for Buck to ever really stand a chance. Vin couldn't help but smile, thinking there wasn't anyone in town who really bested Ezra when it came to words.

Vin shook his head, bemused by the whole situation. He might be able to read people well most of the time, but there were still times when they left him completely mystified. [Never can tell how people will react ta somethin'. Jus' when ya think ya got 'em pinned down they go and jump sideways on ya.]

He bit his lip, wondering if he would be able to ask Nettie for her advice without actually telling her about being involved with Ezra. The old woman was special to him. And he respected her opinion. The last thing he wanted was for her to be disappointed in him, or to find fault with his choices. He didn't think she would be, but there was only one way to know for certain.

Vin ran his thumb thoughtfully across his lower lip. [She don't always think too highly of Ez. But he's a damn good man, with a lot o' heart. An' I think she's beginnin' ta see that.]

Nettie still referred to Ezra as 'fancy man'. But the term no longer sounded derogatory. When she called him that now, it was almost a tease, closer to a nickname than an insult. Ezra, for his part, seemed to delight in aggravating her by treating her as the lady she claimed not to be, using an almost exaggerated courtesy at times just to get her wound up. He had told Vin once it was fun to see her eyes flash. Ezra said he could picture her as the fiery young woman she must have been. And Vin had to admit his lover wasn't wrong. Nettie looked, and acted, a good twenty years younger than her age when she and Ezra were verbally sparring.

[Know she likes him. Even if she don't want to admit it. She might not ever see him the way I do, and I guess she ain't really gotta.]

He grinned suddenly thinking that he really didn't want other people to see Ezra the same way he did. No one else got to see the gambler with his hair mussed up from fingers being run though it, curling wildly in abandon. Or with his clothes in disarray, jacket off and shirt half undone. No one else got to see Ezra's eyes light up with joy, and passion, all his usual walls and shields temporarily down. Or see his expression so innocent when he slept, his whole body relaxed and at ease. Those were for Vin alone.

Vin forcefully redirected his thoughts. [Even if Nettie thought the world o' him don't mean she'd be all that keen on my bein' with a man. Can't quite figure out how ta ask her what would make a good gift with out tellin' her I want ta give it to Ezra. I already know I ain't real good at lying. Maybe I shouldn't ask her.]

Vin sighed. He knew the best person to ask was Ezra, but that would sort of defeat the purpose. [Ain't a gift if ya got ta ask for it. And if I tell him I want to give him somethin', I already know he'd tell me it weren't necessary.]

Nettie seemed like the easiest person to ask, but he'd never discussed with Ezra letting her know about them. He didn't really think his lover would object. But Vin knew assuming things was a bad idea. It might be better to wait and talk to Ezra. See if the gambler minded him telling Nettie. But then he couldn't exactly tell Ezra the truth about why he wanted to tell Nettie about them.

Vin snorted, disgusted with himself. [Back to square one. Feel like a dog chasing my tail here. This would be a whole lot easier if I was a better liar.]

Still undecided, Vin rode into the central yard of the Welles' ranch. He smiled when Nettie stepped out on to the porch, her carbine rifle held ready. She was deadly with it, and just as capable as any man he knew. Her tough, unyielding nature was one of the things he liked about her. She was a survivor.

He stopped Peso just a few feet from the porch, and crossed his forearms, resting them on the pommel of his saddle horn. "Mornin', Miss Nettie."

She smiled in response, setting her carbine down next to the door. "Well, Vin, good ta see ya boy." She waved a hand at him. "Get down, get down. Rest yer horse, and set a spell."

Nettie settled herself on the near by chair as Vin swung out of the saddle easily. He leaned carelessly against the porch pillar, and glanced around for Nettie's niece, Casey. The teenage girl was usually popping up the minute he arrived, eager to hear about what was going on in town. Not that Vin ever said enough to appease her curiosity. [Bet she loves it when Ezra stops by. He knows more'n anybody else what all is going on and don't mind sharin' information.]

"Where's Casey?"

Nettie rolled her eyes, and grimaced. It was an expression Vin knew was more for show than anything else. Nettie loved her niece dearly. "Finished her chores early so she could go off riding. Like as not she'll be meeting up with JD."

Vin raised an eyebrow, noting an odd mixture of tolerant acceptance, and faint disapproval. He knew Nettie liked JD, and thought well of the young sheriff. But she just couldn't bring herself to openly condone two younger people spending much unsupervised time together. Nettie seemed inclined to take the safety of her ward very seriously. She didn't want the young lady to end up in the family way at too young an age, or become too serious too fast about the first boy who'd turned her fancy.

[Not that JD would do anythin' ta hurt Casey...but can't really stop someone from worrying 'bout their loved ones. Even if the worry ain't got a basis in fact. Know that from jus' worrying 'bout Ez. He can take care o' hisself, but that don't me I don't worry alla time 'bout him.]

"They'll be fine." Vin said, knowing his statement was unnecessary, and likely to be unwelcome.

Nettie just looked at him, letting him know Casey damn well better be or there would be hell to pay. Her look changed swiftly to one of slightly embarrassed contrition. She waved a hand in dismissal. "I know JD's on his way to being a good man, and he wouldn't hurt Casey, but well, sometimes old habits die hard. Been lookin' after that girl since she was in diapers. Forget sometimes she ain't still in 'em."

Vin grinned, not the least bit offended. "I know."

"So what brings you by?" Nettie leaned back in her chair, her blue eyes steadily regarding Vin.

"Peso." Vin hadn't been able to resist the smart ass answer.

Nettie pointed a finger at him in warning, but her eyes were twinkling. "That'll be enough of that, young man."

"Yes, ma'am." Vin tipped his head.

"Now then, why are ya here?"

Vin shrugged. "Ridin' patrol. Was in the neighborhood. Figured I'd check on ya. Make sure everythin' is all right here."

Nettie snorted. "I don't need lookin' after. Been takin' care o' myself since before you was born."

Vin smiled slightly, lips quirking upward. "Yes, Ma'am."

Nettie picked up a bowl of snapping beans that had been sitting next to her chair, and set to work on them. "Since yer here, ya might as well make yerself useful, and tell me what's goin' on in town."

It took several minutes to bring Nettie up to speed. It wasn't that much happened in town on any given day, but she hadn't been to town for a month or more. It was generally through conversation with the peacekeepers that she kept informed of what was going on. Vin was the one who stopped most often, but he seldom had time to stop every day.

Nettie eyed him sharply. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

Nettie raised both eyebrows. "Yer mind is somewhere else." She stated firmly, daring him to argue.

Vin shifted his weight slightly. He couldn't lie to her so he just nodded once. "Been thinkin' on somethin'."

She smiled gently, nodding her head in encouragement. "Something I can help with?"

"Don't rightly know." Vin sighed.

"Well, why don't you ask me, and we'll go from there." Nettie offered, her ever practical nature shining through that statement.

[Okay.] Vin took a deep breath. [Maybe this might be better to go at it in a round about way.] "When you and your husband were courtin'....Did he ever give you anything...a token of his affections?"

"You mean like flowers, candy and the like?"

"Yeah." [Good a place as anywhere ta start.]

Nettie smiled, eyes bright with mischief. "You sweet on someone, Vin Tanner?"

Vin looked away, and could feel the blush warming his face. He knew Nettie had seen it when she chuckled softly. Vin shook his head. [Damn. Didn't want ta do that.]

"Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of Vin." She waited for him to look up, hard blue eyes pinning him in place. "Less'n she's already promised ta someone else." There was a reprimand in her tone. Nettie knew about Charlotte Richmond, and she had let Vin know in her own terms how little she thought of his behavior during that whole incident. While she didn't hold him totally at fault, she still thought his plan to run away with a married woman was foolhardy to say the least.

"Ain't like that." Vin was quick to reassure her. [Ezra isn't anything like Charlotte. Not one bit. And he ain't promised to anyone else.]

"Good." Nettie nodded, satisfied with his answer. "So, you tryin' ta figure out what ta give her? Let her know you're sparkin' on her?"

He shrugged one shoulder. [Most of that is about right.] "Somethin' like that."

Nettie pursed her lips. "You know her well?"

After a moment of reflection on whether not he should correct Nettie's assumption it was a woman, and deciding not to, Vin nodded.

Nettie paused for a second, eyes narrowed. She'd caught his hesitation, but didn't call him on it. "So then you got an idea o' what she likes?"

Vin nodded again. [Got real good idea of what Ezra likes, but I don't see how that's gonna help. Already thought about all that this for last few days.]

"Then all you have to do is give her something she likes. Every woman likes to feel special. And they all like getting pretty things. Flowers cover both bases. One o' the reasons they are so popular."

Vin sighed. [Can't give Ezra flowers.] "Want something more permanent than flowers. Flowers die, fade. Want something that lasts."

Nettie smiled. "You plannin' on marryin' her?"

"Would if I could." That slipped out before Vin had a chance to stop it.

Nettie's eyes flashed, smile vanishing. "Thought you said she wasn't promised to anyone else. You lie to me, boy?" Her tone was sharp, demanding.

"No." Vin hung his head. "Not exactly."

Nettie waited, hands poised over the bowl of beans. When Vin didn't say anything else, she sighed softly. "Why don't you start at the beginning? I seem to be missin' some pieces here."

Vin shifted restlessly, wishing fervently he'd just kept his mouth shut. [Shoulda never even stopped here. Was a bad idea. Should a just talked to Ez.]

"Ain't a she." He finally mumbled, knowing he wouldn't get away without answering Nettie.

"Speak up boy." She ordered calmly. "I didn't hear that."

"I said, it ain't a she. The one I'm sweet on." Vin braced himself for a negative reaction, but knowing he really couldn't back away. "Ain't a woman."

Nettie stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"It's a man, Nettie."

Nettie pursed her lips giving him a hard look. "He know how you feel or you looking for a way to tell him?"

Vin blinked in surprise, caught off guard. That wasn't the question he was expecting. "He knows."

"Well, you ain't sportin' any bruises or bullet holes, so I'm guessing he weren't too upset."

"No, he wasn't upset." Vin confirmed her assumption.

"He feel the same way then?" Nettie looked concerned, and that reassured Vin immensely. She wasn't angry with him, and she didn't look disgusted.

"Yeah." Vin grinned. "He feels the same way."

"Good." Nettie nodded, and relaxed in her chair. "Can't tell how a man might react to find out something like that. You don't need any trouble on that account. Got more than enough all on yer own."

"You ain't... offended?" Vin asked, suddenly needing to know for certain that he hadn't misread her.

Nettie rolled her eyes. "You'd think after knowin' me this long, you'd know by now that if I was offended, you sure as hell wouldn't have to ask, you'd already know."

Vin hung his head again, contrite. "Sorry."

Nettie sighed. "Ain't nothin' to be sorry for. I know you just wanted ta be sure." She sent him a sly look. "Imagine this isn't quite the reaction you were expecting."

"No, Ma'am." [Not even close.]

Nettie cackled. "Good. Hate to be actin' like every other fool you meet."

Vin smiled. "Never thought you was a fool."

She nodded, accepting that statement, knowing he meant it. "So why don't you ask me what you really wanted to ask earlier?"

"Weren't all that far off really." Vin smiled slightly, feeling the tightness in his chest easing. [Trust her not to get distracted for long.] "I want ta give him something. Something real. Something he can hang on to when everything else fades away... you know?"

For a moment Nettie's eyes took on a far away look "I know, son. I know exactly what you mean."

Encouraged by her statement, Vin continued speaking. "But it ain't like courtin' a woman." Vin waved a hand in frustration. "Don't want to insult him. Don't want him to think I really want him to be somethin' he's not. Need to give him something that would be right for him. And still let him know how I feel."

"Ah." Nettie nodded, her fingers still busy snapping beans. "Can see where that would be a mite difficult. Ain't all that common for men ta give other men things, unless it's a father to his son. Romance usually focuses on what a man is s'posed to be givin' a woman."

She raised hand to rub her chin, pondering Vin's problem. "So you thought what? Maybe ask me what I gave my husband, and see if it fit better?"

Vin nodded. "Wasn't getting too far on my own. Thought a woman's point o' view might be better."

"Not a bad idea." Nettie commented after a moment of thought. She shrugged one shoulder, resuming her snapping. "Might help if you told me who he is."

"Can't." Vin sighed softly, shaking his head with genuine regret. "We sort o' decided not to tell people less'n they ask us. And I didn't tell him I'd be talkin' to you about this. Wouldn't be right to tell you without talkin' to him first." It was bad enough he felt like he was betraying Ezra by having this conversation. He wasn't going to make it worse.

"He ashamed o' being with you? That why he don't want anyone to know?"

"No, he ain't ashamed. I ain't ashamed o' him either." Vin stated fiercely. He straightened up, posture stiff. "Got a home here, a place we really belong for the first time in a long time. Don't want ta lose that jus' cause us bein' together ain't what most people think is normal. An' like ya said before, got enough trouble in my life without borrowing more. We ain't lying to anyone, we just ain't advertisin' the fact that we's together."

Nettie held up a hand in a pacifying gesture, her expression one of understanding. "My mistake, Vin. I meant no insult."

Vin felt his face warm again for the second time in one day. "Sorry, Ma'am. Didn't mean ta--", Vin stopped not exactly knowing just how to describe his out burst. He tried again. "I know ya didn't mean anything bad. Know you was jus' watchin' out for me."

She smiled at him. "No harm done." Her expression turned rueful. "And it didn't hurt for me to know that. Don't want you getting involved with someone else who's just gonna trample on yer feelings."

[You and me both. Once was more than enough ta learn my lesson.] Vin cocked his head to one side, studying his friend. "Ya don't mind my sayin', you seem to be taking all this in stride."

Nettie laughed lightly, a gleam in her eyes. "Vin Tanner, I learned a long time ago there is more to livin' than just surviving. Havin' someone share the burdens of life definitely falls on the livin' side o' things. An' there's no way ta tell which person is gonna be the right one ta share them with. Don't think the Almighty really intended for it ta always about whether or not it was a man and a woman. Sometimes it's jus' about findin' the one person who makes you want to keep going. Who makes getting up every morning a little less o' a chore. Someone who brings out the sun on a cloudy day."

She casually shrugged one shoulder, a faint smile gracing her face. "I've seen all kinds come through this country. Only ones who really ever make it are the ones with someone they can count on, share with, talk to and laugh with. Life is hard out here. Worse when you're alone."

She took a deep breath. "Me and my husband came here with nothing, and fought hard to make a go of it. Fought with the weather, the big cattlemen, the sheep herders, and the Indians. Sometimes fought each other too." Her eyes crinkled at the corners, amusement readily visible. There was no doubt that she still loved the man she'd married so many years ago.

"If it weren't for him... well, I'd have survived, don't get me wrong." The statement wasn't her bragging. It was a simple fact that Nettie Welles was not the sort to just lay down and wait for life to beat her. "But I wouldn't have enjoyed the fight nearly as much. Probably wouldn't have lasted this long either."

Vin looked at her in amazement. [Never quite expected that. Damn. People always jumping sideways when ya least expect 'em too.]

Nettie put down her bowl, and rubbed her hands together. "Now then, you need ta give this man o' yours something."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Nettie nodded and smiled warmly at him. "When I was a young girl, I had hair dark as a raven's feather. Hung down to my waist. My husband loved playing with it." Her smiled became fondly reminiscent. "He even learned to braid it for me. Could do a better job of it than I could, truth be told."

She flashed Vin a quick grin. "But then I was a better shot than he was, so I guess it all balanced out."

Vin grinned back. "Don't have any trouble believin' that."

"Anyway.. whenever he had ta leave... go to town and such, said the thing he missed the most was my hair. So... I cut a lock off and braided it for him. He used to wear it all the time tied around his wrist. Had ta replace it a time or two, but he never went anywhere without it. Truth be told, he was buried with it. Said he wanted to have something ta hang on to while he waited for me ta join him in the here after."

He considered her suggestion. It was something that hadn't occurred to him. [Ez likes my hair. Says he likes the way it feels running through his fingers. An' I like havin' him brush it.]

"Know my hair's longer'n most men's, but don't think it's long enough ta do that, Miss Nettie. " Vin shook his head slightly. [Ez ain't a big man, and it probably wouldn't take much ta make a braid long enough for him ta wear. But there's somethin' else ta think about here.] "An' not sure if he'd want ta wear somethin' other people might see and ask about. We been real good 'bout not showin' too much in front o' other people. "

Nettie shrugged. "Don't have to be long enough ta circle his wrist. Could just braid a love knot for him. That can be pretty much any length or size ya want, and he could carry it anywhere."

Vin frowned. "Love knot?" [Never heard o' that one.]

Nettie got up. "Let me get some string and I'll show ya. Ain't hard to do." Nettie stepped inside the house and returned a moment later. Her hands might be gnarled with age, and years of hard work, but her fingers were still adept enough to handle showing Vin how to tie knots. As she worked on it she explained the meaning of the knot.

"Ya can really make these outta anythin'. Girls used ta use ribbons off the flowers their fellas gave them. Saw a man with one made outta lace from his sweetheart's weddin' veil." She focused for a moment on the string she was working with, smoothing the line and making sure the tension was even, before she continued speaking.

"Used to be, you intertwined something of your loved one's in with this. So it represented both of ya. Was meant to show a long life, and life long love."

Vin grinned, finding her explanation fitting, even as his fingers fumbled to master what she was showing him. [Never woulda thought tying a knot would be so hard. Betcha Ez could do this in no time... them fingers o' his can work magic.]

"Some of the knots can be rather complicated." Nettie held up an elaborate knot that interwove and looped in on itself numerous times. It was beautiful, with a smooth, almost sensuous look to it. The strands connected so that there was no visible indication where one stopped and the other began, giving it a continuous, unbroken look.

"Sometimes, the more complicated, the better. You want it to show that your life, and that of your loved one, are now so intermixed, ya can't tell where one quits and the other starts." She smiled. "When it's all said and done, everybody's knot is his own. Ain't no two ever quite the same. Ya can add decorations to it, too. Knew of one that had a silver bell worked inta it. Traveling preacher man used it as a bookmark in his bible. He would shake the bible when he spoke and it jingled."

Vin looked at his own attempt sadly. It didn't look anywhere near as nice as Nettie's. "Gonna have to work on this a bit."

Nettie chuckled. "Well, Vin...like everything else, it takes some time to learn ta do it right."

Vin grinned. "Thanks, Nettie."

She nodded. "My pleasure."

Sharp eyes studied him. Vin resisted the urge to fidget under her gaze. "You tell me honestly...This man make you happy?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Vin's eyes never left hers. He smiled, just thinking of how much better his life was with Ezra as a part of it, totally unaware of how his eyes suddenly lit up with joy and contentment. "Very happy."

"He treat you right?"

"Better'n anyone else ever has."

"Good. All I need to know then." She patted his arm. "When you talk to him, see if he don't want to come by and talk to me. I'd like to meet him. Would be nice to know the man who captured your heart."

She stretched up and uncharacteristically kissed his cheek. "Now then, it's high time you got back to doin' your duty."

Vin offered her the string back, but she waved it off. "Keep that ta practice with." Vin nodded, and pocketed the string. He swung into the saddle, touching his fingers to the brim of his hat once he was settled.

"I'll see you in a few days then, Miss Nettie."

"I'll be here." The old woman confirmed, and waved her hand at him. "Off with ya now. Got work that needs doin'. Can't be wastin' my whole day with the likes of you."

Vin grinned, not the least insulted by her words or her tone. He rode out of her yard with a lighter heart and clearer mind than he'd rode in with. [Asking Nettie was definitely a good idea.]

Nettie stood on the porch watching Vin ride away until he was no longer visible. She shook her head, smiling to herself, a bit bemused by their conversation. [That boy. Never woulda guessed he'd be looking at another man that way. Wonder who it is?]

She picked up her bowl of snapped beans, taking them inside, ready to start canning. As she worked at filling jars, her thoughts were drawn back to that the recent conversation. [Really, I s'pose it don't come as that big o' surprise. Never saw him so much as look at a woman. Jus' figured he was a mite shy is all.]

Nettie snorted at her foolish thoughts. [Human nature bein' what it is...it don't matter how shy a man is, he'll find someway ta scratch that itch if he's of mind to. Got a cat house in town where he could satisfy those urges if he had 'em, and wanted a woman he didn't have ta make conversation with. Know it weren't him bein' shy or even religion that kept 'im from paying those ladies a visit.]

Nettie was a rare breed of woman. She might not condone the way prostitutes made their living, but she didn't necessarily find fault with it either. She had long ago come to terms with the idea that most people struggled to find their way in this world as best they could. It was not her place to judge someone for taking a different path. At least so long as they didn't hurt anyone else doing it.

[An' him thinkin' o' runnin' off with that Richmond woman! Bah. Knew that weren't right. Weren't all that surprised he didn't go with her. An' it wasn't her bein' married that decided it. No sir. If he'd a really loved that stupid, no account woman, he'd wouldn't a let that stop him.]

Nettie scowled. She vented some of her anger, picking up a jar and thumping the bottom harder than necessary, settling the beans so she could add more. [Don't think he really cared for her. Might a been what he thought he wanted, but his heart wasn't in it. And if she'd a really cared for him, she wouldn't a gone back to that good-for-nothing husband. She was just looking for some fun. Ought to be a male cat house for women like her. She coulda had her fun without hurtin' anyone and then gone home ta her husband.]

Nettie shook her head, as she put down a full jar, and picked up an empty one. She could never understand cheating on your spouse. Adultery didn't bother her because the bible said it was a sin, it bothered her because it was just plain wrong to betray a loved one's trust. To her way of thinking, if you promised forever, then by God, you should mean it. And if you couldn't live up to that promise, the first person you should tell is the person you made the promise to. Anything else was just plain dishonest, and outright disrespectful. [Owe it to someone you care about, even if you don't care the same way any more, ta treat them the way you'd want ta be treated.]

She had been decidedly pleased with Vin's outburst when she'd asked if his male lover was ashamed of him. [Good to know they ain't hidin' out of foolishness. Always heard discretion was the better part of valor. Looks like Vin and his friend might understand that to be the case here. Folks can be right stupid about someone being different. An' all those good, upstandin' folks think they got the right ta tell others what's right for them, and God help ya if you don't agree. Bah. Idiots. Can't control who ya love and who ya don't.]

And the look on his face when she asked if he was happy put her mind at ease. [Ain't nobody look that happy if they ain't. And if anybody deserves a little joy in his life, it's him.]

Nettie couldn't help but wonder again just who'd captured Vin's heart. [Whoever it is...Vin's definitely in love with him. Wouldn't a sassed me if he wasn't. Or been so worried about getting the right gift.]

At first glance, Chris Larabee would have been a good guess. But Nettie knew better. Oh sure the two could talk without ever saying a word, shared similar views on a great many things, and were obviously good friends, but Nettie knew Chris wasn't the sort to attract Vin on an intimate level. She just couldn't see the two of them coming together that way.

She got the distinct impression that this relationship Vin was in was somewhat new. If it was Chris, Nettie didn't think it would have taken them this long to get together. [Those two got on a like a house afire since the minute they met. Vin wouldn't be lookin' ta me for advice on a gift if him and this feller had that same sort o' history.]

Nettie filled another jar. [Always a good idea ta have extra preserves stored up. Never know when I'll be getting ta town. Course, might be a good idea jus' ta take a trip here in a few days.] She grinned. [See if I can't spot this mystery man for myself.]

Nathan Jackson strolled leisurely down the clinic stairs. He stopped in the livery, out of habit checking to see whose horses were present. The horses were always a good indicator of who was in town and who wasn't. He'd found that it saved time looking for someone if he knew whether or not they were actually around.

Lady, Abe, Prophet, Sable, and Chaucer were all in their usual stalls. He expected Peso to be missing, and the stall next to Chaucer was indeed empty. [Vin's on patrol. Won't see him for another hour or two.]

Nathan surprised to see JD's horse, Toby, missing as well, until he recalled JD saying something last night about meeting up with Casey. Nathan couldn't help chuckling thinking about them. He wondered how long it was going to take for the two of them to start acting like adults rather than kids. [Bet JD will be trying to figure out how ta court her for real one o' these days.]

He walked outside, and spotted Josiah on the roof of the church. Nathan waved casually, hiding a grin. [He's been working on that roof for the past two weeks, and still can't get all those leaks patched. Man should just give up and replace the whole roof. Only reason it ain't leaking now is cause it hasn't rained in the last week.]

Nathan headed toward the saloon. It was for all intents and purposes the center of activity in town. If anything happened, the saloon was often where it started, and almost always where it ended. It was no accident that the peacekeepers could frequently be found lounging inside or on the front porch.

Nathan slid into a seat out front, after glancing inside to see if any of his coworkers were present. [Ezra is probably still sleeping. Don't usually see him until almost lunch time. Wonder where Buck and Chris are?] He had expected to see one of them here, or sitting in front of the jail.

He shrugged. [Don't matter, I guess. I'll see 'em at lunch.] The seven of them made a regular habit of getting together at meal times, discounting breakfast. Their schedules, and habits, made arranging to share the first meal of the day more of a chore than it was worth. Ezra was usually just turning in at that time having finished his shift as the sun rose. Chris and Vin were usually awake before anyone else and typically ate early. Depending on which lady friend he'd visited, Buck might not show up until ten or eleven, or he might put in an appearance at sunrise. One could never really tell with the ladies man.

Nathan slouched in his chair, watching the town pass by him. Adults were busy taking care of the usual day to day business. Several children ran by playing what looked like tag. Nathan smiled. He recognized several of them as being children Ezra taught for a few hours each afternoon.

[Think he's up ta eight now. Yeah... Michael Taylor just joined in a week ago, if I remember rightly. Kind a wonder when Mrs. Potter is gonna track down a real teacher. Almost be a shame when she does. Kids seem ta really like Ezra. Course there's plenty o' other little ones in town in need of some schooling. And I imagine their momma's are waitin' on a real teacher.]

Nathan sighed. There was a time when he might have sided with those who thought it improper or just plain wrong for a gambler and a conman to be teaching children. But not any more. At least not really. He'd never come right out and said so, but after watching a few lessons, and seeing how well the children seemed to blossom under Ezra's care, it was hard to hold on to any objections.

Nathan's musings were interrupted when Mary Travis stopped in front of him. She smiled warmly at him. "Mr. Jackson, how are you today?"

He returned her smile. "Just fine, Ma'am. Just fine." He liked the pretty blonde widow. She was one of the few people in town to stand up for him when he nearly got lynched, and Nathan had not forgotten her efforts on his behalf.

"I was wondering if I might ask a favor?"

"Certainly, Mrs. Travis. What can I do for you?"

She handed him a copy of the local newspaper, The Clarion. "Would you please give that to Mr. Standish when you see him? I promised him an advanced copy, but I'm afraid I might not see him later."

Nathan took the paper. "I can do that. Will probably see him at lunch anyway." He raised an eyebrow. "Why ya givin' him an advanced copy?"

She smiled. "I was running late last night, when Mr. Standish stopped by on his usual rounds. He was kind enough to proof read for me so that I could finish some much needed tasks around the house."

A faint blush rose in her cheeks, and she ducked her head slightly. "He found several errors. I am grateful that he caught them for me. It wouldn't be right for the paper to go out with such gross mistakes."

Nathan nodded. He truly doubted that most people in town would have even noticed any errors. [Probably the only ones who'd have even seen anything wrong are Ezra and Mrs. Travis.]

Mary thanked him again, and started to move away. She stopped suddenly, and whirled around. "Oh...I almost forgot." She offered him an envelope. "This letter came for Mr. Standish on the stage yesterday. It was bundled up with mail for the paper, and I didn't find it until this morning. Could you pass it along to him as well?"

"Sure thing, Ma'am." Nathan took the envelope.

"Thank you, Mr. Jackson."

"You're very welcome, Ma'am."

Nathan waited until she walked away to actually look at the envelope she'd handed him. The handwriting was beautiful, elegant and bold. It clearly stated that it was intend for Ezra P. Standish, from Maude Standish.

[Hunh. Knew he wrote to her sometimes. Didn't know she wrote back.] Nathan shrugged. It wasn't his business. He'd just see to it that Ezra got his letter and his newspaper.

[Don't mean I can't read his paper while I wait. Ain't like its private. Well, not really. An' if I finish it 'fore Ezra gets up, it ain't like he'd have to know.] Nathan sighed, unhappy with himself and his thoughts. Trying to justify an action he knew wasn't right wasn't like him. But, he really would like to read the paper.

Nathan tucked the letter in his shirt pocket. He unfolded the paper so he could clearly see the front page, telling himself that was all he would read. [One page ain't all that much. 'Sides, it ain't like it will even get messed up. Yeah... this will be fine.]

Despite the reasonable price Mary set for the paper, Nathan usually didn't buy one. The healer was saving his money, and studiously avoided buying 'extras' he didn't really need, no matter how much he might want them. He planned to ask Rain to marry him, and he wanted to be able to provide for her. [Lady like her don't want to live in a room above the livery. Wouldn't be right. She deserves ta have a house with a real kitchen and bedroom. Only way I'm gonna be able to give her that is by hanging on ta my money.]

So, he typically ended up reading an old copy that got left lying in the saloon. Nathan figured it was still news, albeit old news, by the time he got to read it. It would be a nice change to be the first to know what was going on. It was a temptation he simply couldn't resist.

Just over an hour later, he hadn't quite finished reading the paper. Nathan was a slow, methodical reader. He learned the skill in secret as a slave, and reveled in the opportunity to be able to sit out in the open, and read. It was not something he'd ever thought he'd have the chance to experience. Once he started, he hadn't been able to stop at the first page, but had continued to delve further into the paper.

His concentration was broken by the sound of a throat clearing. He glanced up, surprised to see Ezra standing nearby. The gambler was impeccable dressed as always, and leaned casually against one of the pillars. Nathan got the impression Ezra had been standing there for some time.

"Good day to you, Mr. Jackson. I trust this day finds you well."

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." Nathan folded the paper and offered it to Ezra, feeling decidedly sheepish. "Mrs. Travis asked me ta pass this along ta you."

Ezra raised one eyebrow, but didn't comment on the fact that Nathan was reading his paper. "Any thing of interest?" There was just the faintest trace of amusement in the question. "You seemed rather deeply engrossed just a moment ago."

Nathan looked away, feeling his face warm and for once in his life was grateful for his darker complexion. He really should apologize, but he couldn't seem to find the words. [Was wrong ta read it. Know that. Ain't like I need for him to rub it in]

Nathan couldn't quite keep himself from thinking that if he hadn't gotten so caught up in the paper, Ezra wouldn't have caught him. He could have had it safely folded, neat and tidy. The gambler would never have known the difference.

Ezra smirked, and Nathan just knew the conman had no trouble reading his thoughts. [Damn the man. Ain't natural for someone ta be able to do that. It jus' ain't.]

Ezra offered the paper back to Nathan. "It's quite all right, Mr. Jackson. I've already read this issue."

Nathan glared at him, but didn't refuse the paper. He hadn't had the chance to finish it, and wasn't going to pass on the chance to do so. He could probably read it several times over, always looking for something he might have missed, or just to have something to read. He rarely had anything that constituted 'light' reading. The only books he owned were a tattered bible, and one medical reference that was published shortly after the war.

"Mrs. Travis said ya proof read it last night." It wasn't what he'd intended to say, but it was just the first thing to slip out. "Said she'd promised you an advanced copy."

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "I told her it would not be necessary. Having read it once, there was no need for me to peruse it again. I did not find is sufficiently captivating to warrant reading a second time."

Nathan just nodded. He couldn't help but envy Ezra's casual regard for the paper. It was likely to be the only thing close to a story that Nathan had to read for some time. [Don't have any real books like Ezra's got. Must be nice ta have a book to read any time ya want to. Stories 'bout far away places, adventures and such. Bet he's got some real good ones too.]

The healer leaned back in his chair, and felt the letter in his pocket shift. [Oops. Forgot 'bout that.] He pulled the letter free and offered it to Ezra. "Mrs. Travis gave this to me ta pass on to ya. Said it came yesterday on the stage. Figures it got bundled up in mail for the paper by mistake."

Ezra took the envelope, tipping his head toward Nathan. "Thank you, Mr. Jackson, for ensuring my correspondence was delivered to me."

Nathan watched as Ezra read the envelope, noting who it was from. If he hadn't been paying attention he might have missed the slight stiffening of Ezra's posture, or the way his mouth tightened just a fraction. Elegant hands deftly opened the letter, unfolding the paper with a simple, economy of motion. Ezra's eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he read it.

[Don't know why but I got the feeling this could be a bad thing.] "Problem?" Nathan asked quietly, uncertain if he should even inquire.

Green eyes, shuttered, and face blandly neutral; Ezra answered him with a shake of his head. "Of course not, Mr. Jackson. Merely an epistle from my dear mother."

"Didn't know she wrote to you." Nathan offered. He and Ezra rarely made idle conversation, so he wasn't sure what to say.

Ezra smiled, but there was little humor in his expression. "Your ignorance regarding the details of my life is nearly infinite, Mr. Jackson."

Nathan nodded slowly. [Be hard to argue that point. Really isn't a lot I do know about the man.] Deciding it time to change that, Nathan spoke again. "Maybe it's about time I did."

Ezra's attention had returned to the letter he still held. He looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Did what, Mr. Jackson?"

Nathan resisted the urge to frown at Ezra. He didn't really know if the man was being deliberately obtuse, or if his attention had been focused elsewhere. Nathan tipped his head slightly, and clarified his earlier statement. "Learned some things about you." [Really learned things. More than just what I've been assuming by the way you act, the way you talk.]

He smiled hesitantly. "We been workin' together over a year, Ezra. You would think I'd know more about you by now."

Ezra chuckled dryly, green eyes bright with a quiet, inner amusement. "Yes, I suppose one would think that." He left unsaid, 'but you would be wrong'. It wasn't necessary. Nathan could hear it loud and clear in the silence he left.

The healer scowled. [That's what I get for trying to make nice with the man. Should know better. Man don't give anything away if he can charge you for it.]

Nathan mentally slapped himself. [Man just gave me the paper, for crying out loud. I know better. Ain't no wonder he don't want to talk to me about stuff. I go jumpin' ta conclusions like some sort of damn fool. Never gave the man a chance to even talk. And I don't have any call to be upset with him. He didn't say anything but the truth. Jus' cause I didn't like the way he said it, don't make it any less true.]

Ezra seemed totally unperturbed by Nathan's lack of response. He neatly re-folded the letter, and put it inside his jacket. He turned slightly, and looked up the street. There was a sudden sharpness to Ezra's gaze, and despite the fact that he still leaned casually against the pillar, there was an alertness about his posture now that had been absent before. It reminded Nathan of a cat that suddenly caught sight of something moving. The intensity of Ezra's gaze made Nathan curious as to what had attracted his attention.

[Hunh. Ain't anything but Vin was riding in on Peso.] Nathan frowned, and shook his head. He hadn't forgotten the puzzle he'd been working on. He'd been turning it over in his mind for the better part of two months now. There was something going on between Vin and Ezra, but he had yet to figure out exactly what. The only reason he hadn't pushed it was that whatever was going on didn't seem to be a bad thing.

[When they're hurt, both o' them are usually as hard to handle as a cornered mountain lion. But 'round each other, they settle right down. Don't hardly fuss at all. And Ez is usually real cold about anyone getting too close, but he don't seem to mind Vin touching him. Jus' plain odd that. Caught the two of them, jus' the other day, doing that speaking thing with only their eyes. Thought it was only with Chris that Vin did that. An' I noticed Ezra calls Vin by his first name on occasion too. Ain't often, but more than he does with the rest o' us.]

Nathan watched as Vin rode closer. The tracker stopped Peso in front of the saloon. He touched the brim of his hat, nodding to both Nathan and Ezra, as he leaned forward, resting his arms on the pommel of his saddle.

"Nate. Ez."

"Vin." Nathan greeted.

Ezra tipped his head. "Mr. Tanner."

Such a simple greeting, but Nathan would swear that a great deal more passed between Vin and Ezra than those few words would indicate. The frustrating thing was that Nathan couldn't even pin down what it was that made him so sure. Ezra's face didn't give away anything. Nor did Vin's for that matter. By all rights, it should have been nothing more than a simple greeting between friends, but Nathan couldn't shake the feeling that it was a great deal more.

Not for the first time did Nathan contemplate simply asking them. [Don't know if asking would do me any good or not. Ezra will probably give me an answer, but he'll be usin' five-dollar words so I won't know any more than I did when I started. And Vin's just as likely ta say nothing at all. Swear some times that man don't use more than five words a day!]

"Will you be joining us for our midday repast, Mr. Tanner?" Ezra asked, his drawl somehow making it an invitation, as well as just a simple question. There was an undercurrent in Ezra's voice that hinted at more, but Nathan couldn't quite interpret what exactly.

If Vin's grin was anything to go by he didn't have the same trouble reading it that Nathan had. He nodded once, answering Ezra's question. "Jus' need ta get Peso settled."

Ezra raised two fingers in his usual salute. "Very well then. We shall anticipate your arrival at the restaurant in due time."

Vin gently tugged Peso's head around toward the stable. Ezra watched him ride away for a moment, before turning to look at Nathan. "Would you care to join me, Mr. Jackson?" Ezra waved one hand in the general direction of the restaurant.

"Might as well." Nathan levered himself out of his seat, carefully folding his paper. [Oh yeah...still got to say thank you.] "Thanks, Ez."

Ezra regarded him quizzically. "For what, Sir?"

Nathan held up the paper. "This."

Ezra smiled slightly. "Thinking nothing of it, Mr. Jackson."

Nathan shook his head. "I do think something of it, Ez. Means a lot to me to be able to read it. Don't usually get to read the paper 'fore other people." Nathan ducked his head as he stated the last bit. He really should apologize reading Ezra's paper, but his last statement was as close as he seemed to be able to get.

Ezra lifted one shoulder in a move far to elegant and precise to really be called a shrug. "If such an inconsequential gesture on my part is sufficient to bring you pleasure, then, Mr. Jackson, you are most welcome." Green eyes twinkled for only a moment. "But rest assured, Sir, you should not become accustomed to such beneficence. Particularly, not from me."

Nathan felt his lips twitch in a half smile. "Of course not."

Together, they strolled down the boardwalk toward Mrs. Ander's restaurant. Nathan glanced toward the church. He could see Josiah making his way down off the roof. Ezra must have noticed the direction of his gaze.

"I see Mr. Sanchez continues in his futile endeavor."

Nathan chuckled, glad he wasn't the only one who thought Josiah might be wasting his time. "Wouldn't tell him you think it's futile." [Don't think he'd take kindly to hearing that. No matter how true it may be.]

"Oh, far be it from me to rupture the fragile bubble of his illusion." Ezra grinned, dimples readily visible. "I'll wager that will occur the moment our fair hamlet is inundated with its next precipitation event."

"Hunh?"

"The next time it rains." Ezra stated succinctly.

[Why couldn't he just say that the first time?] Nathan sighed, and shook his head. "Don't know why Josiah just don't replace the roof? Would be a whole lot easier."

Ezra cocked his head to one side. "I believe Mr. Sanchez labors under the belief that by making the task harder, he will somehow incur the Almighty's approval of his labors."

"You don't agree?" Nathan's curiosity was piqued when he heard a faint suggestion of disapproval in Ezra's statement.

Ezra raised one eyebrow. "I find it difficult to believe, that a being who saw fit to grant us with sufficient intelligence, and ingenuity, would find pleasure in our consistent failure to make use of such largesse." Ezra shrugged. "There is a distinct possibility, that I am wrong in my presumption. The Almighty and I, and those who profess to know his divine rationale, are not generally on the best speaking terms."

Nathan wasn't sure what to make of Ezra's statement, so he opted to stay silent. [Know he ain't exactly on the up and up all the time, but I doubt that God is too upset with him. Not really. An' there ain't really anyone here in town who's got cause ta find fault with him.]

The former slave could readily appreciate the irony of his outlook. There was a time when he was sure the southern gambler would burn in hell. He had no doubts when he'd met the man, but now he wasn't quite so certain. There were still times when his point of view seemed to slip, and Nathan lost sight of his changing attitude regarding the gambler, but it happened less frequently now than it had when they first met. [Took me awhile to catch on, but he ain't the man he pretends to be. There's a lot more ta Ezra than meets the eye.]

Ezra opened the door to the restaurant, and waved his hand offering to let Nathan precede him inside. Nathan couldn't resist the small smile that blossomed. [Ain't every day a white man opens the door for me.]

Buck was already seated at their usual table. He called out a greeting in his normal boisterous fashion, his voice carrying easily across the room. "Hey, Nate! Ez! 'Bout time you some o' the boys showed up. Was worried I'd have to eat all by my lonesome."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Some decorum on your part would not be remiss, Mr. Wilmington."

The jovial ladies man snorted. "Decorum is for other people." Eyes bright with merriment, Buck winked at Ezra. "Ain't much fun in acting all proper like."

Ezra shook his head, as he took a seat. "Mr. Wilmington, having fun is not the ultimate, singular goal of polite society."

Buck chuckled. "I know, and it's a damn shame."

To Nathan's surprise, Ezra flashed a quick smile. "Indeed."

[Will never understand him. I swear, I will never understand him.] Nathan took his seat, and resolved to give up trying to figure out what made the gambler tick.

A few minutes later, Vin sauntered in, and slid into the chair next to Ezra. For the second time that day, Nathan got the feeling there was more going on than he could see. Vin didn't touch Ezra, nor did Ezra touch Vin that Nathan could see, but the connection between them was almost palpable.

Josiah was the next to arrive. The big ex-preacher greeted them all before taking a seat next to Nathan. There was a time when Josiah would have immediately taken the seat next to Ezra, but not any more.

Nathan hadn't failed to notice that Josiah now took pains to leave space between himself and Ezra. And he no longer attempted to make physical contact with the gambler either. [Used to be he be patting Ezra on the shoulder, or reachin' out ta touch him. Ezra always told him ta knock it off, but until lately, Josiah ignored him. Don't call him son anymore either.]

Nathan frowned, thinking back, and realized it was about the time Vin got shot in the leg that Josiah started giving Ezra more room. Surprisingly enough, the new distance seemed to have strengthened the friendship between Josiah and Ezra. Nathan wasn't sure if he should just chalk it up to another thing about Ezra he just failed to understand or if he should pursue it.

Chris strolled in, and took his usual seat at the head of the table. He greeted the others. The gunslinger frowned. "Where's JD?"

Buck grinned. "Off ridin' with Casey. Reckon he'll be back later."

Chris nodded, a faint smile teasing about his lips. "He actually courtin' her yet?"

Buck sighed heavily. "No." His disgust was clearly evident in his answer. Buck had voiced his opinion on the matter on more than one occasion, much to JD's embarrassment. "You'd think by now that boy'd wake up and smell the coffee. But, no. Two o' them still jus' play like kids."

Ezra clucked his tongue. "Mr. Wilmington, it is not necessary for JD to proceed with Miss Welles at a break neck pace."

Buck stared at Ezra. "How is he ever goin' get to the good part if he don't move faster?"

Ezra raised one eyebrow. "Were I you, Mr. Wilmington, I would refrain from mentioning the 'good part' around the young Miss Welles' guardian. She might well be inclined to disabuse your young protégé of such notions, rather forcefully. With say, the business end of her shotgun."

Vin smirked, blue eyes twinkling. "No doubt 'bout that."

Buck scowled. "I'm jus' saying--"

"I believe, brother, we are all aware of your feelings on the subject." Josiah intoned quietly, his deep voice resonating despite the low volume of his speech. "I suggest we leave that topic alone for the time being. A man has often regretted his words, but never his silence."

Chris seconded Josiah's recommendation with a quick look toward Buck. The tall cowboy heaved a resigned sighed, but let it go without further comment. Nathan knew he'd be grilling JD the minute the younger man rode back into town. [Just the way he is. Doesn't mean anything buy it...and I know he didn't mean any disrespect to Casey or Miss Nettie. Man just thinks everyone ought ta be part of a couple. Buck's a romantic at heart.]

Thinking that it might be better to steer the conversation toward an easier topic, Nathan grasped for something to say. Remembering Ezra's letter, he asked. "So, Ezra, what did Maude have ta say?"

A moment of decidedly tense silence followed his question, surprising Nathan. He had thought it an innocent inquiry, nothing to get upset over. But he could almost feel a cool breeze emanating from Vin, Buck and Chris.

Thinking the reason for the sudden change must lie with Ezra, Nathan looked toward him first for an explanation. But he couldn't read anything from Ezra. The gambler seemed his usual calm, unruffled self. He looked oblivious to the now charged atmosphere. The healer knew that had to be an illusion, because if anyone was aware of it, it was Ezra. [Man don't miss a trick.]

Nathan's eyes shifted warily to the others, hoping for some clue, trying to determine what it was he said that was so wrong. Vin's eyes had changed from their normal sky blue to an almost silver white, and the tracker sat very still, his habitual slouch somehow more on edge than such a posture should be capable of. Chris' expression had taken on a hardened, almost vicious look. And Buck's habitual smile was gone, replaced by a look of wary alertness. Nathan recognized the look as being the same one Buck wore during a gunfight. A quick glance toward Josiah confirmed that the big man was curious more than mystified by the sudden change at their table.

"Maude's here?" Vin asked in a quiet tone that did little to disguise the hard, unyielding quality in his voice.

"No." Nathan was quick to offer an answer, wanting to defuse whatever he seemed to have unintentionally initiated with such a simple question. "She just sent Ezra a letter."

Vin turned to look at Ezra. "A letter?"

Ezra held his gaze for a moment, and then nodded once. "My mother does occasionally correspond with me, Vin." His voice was gentle, almost apologetic.

Having gotten used to hearing Ezra typically address them by their surnames, the use of Vin's first name seemed almost intimate to Nathan. The healer idly wondered when the gambler would consent to calling the rest of them by their first names. [He only does it once in awhile with Vin that I've noticed, and hardly ever does with anyone else. 'Less, o' course, it's an emergency.] Nathan shook off such thoughts. They would have to wait until later.

Josiah frowned. He looked ready to speak up, but Nathan stopped him with a swift, and none-too gentle kick to the shins. When Josiah shot a glare his way, Nathan simply shook his head, and tried to convey with his eyes that he thought it best for Josiah to stay quiet. [Really don't think now is a good time for him ta say anything. Don't know why, but it just isn't.]

"What did she have to say?" Chris drawled.

Ezra waved a hand in a vague, meaningless gesture. "Nothing of consequence, Mr. Larabee. There is no need to concern yourself with such trifles."

"Ezra." Chris emphasized each syllable of his name, making it a not too subtle warning.

The gambler sighed. He shifted in his seat in an uncharacteristically restless movement. Vin laid a hand on Ezra's arm, and Nathan was sure an entire conversation took place when the two made eye contact. [Would give my eye-teeth to know what they're sayin' to each other.]

Ezra's gaze flickered to Chris. "My mother typically writes to me for only two reasons, Mr. Larabee."

"And those would be?" Chris arched an eyebrow, clearly determined to get an answer.

"She needs my 'God-given talents' to assist her in some new enterprise. Or she is in trouble of some kind, and needs me to extricate her from whatever quagmire in which she has become immersed."

"Which was it this time?" Buck asked, leaning forward slightly in his chair.

Ezra sighed, and looked away. "The former."

Vin patted Ezra's arm, redirecting Ezra's attention before he spoke. "What kind o' enterprise?"

The soft tone of Vin's voice made Nathan shiver. He couldn't shake the feeling that Maude might actually be in danger from Vin, although, he had no idea why. Josiah's eyes narrowed as he looked toward Vin. [Guess I ain't the only one who thinks Vin might be threatening Maude somehow. Don't look like Chris and Buck are bothered by it though.]

Ezra smiled. It was little more than a bearing of his teeth. "Mother does not put what might amount to incriminating details in her epistles, so I am afraid, I cannot honestly answer that, Mr. Tanner."

"But you could guess?" Vin's question came out as more of a statement.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "From what little she saw fit to say...yes, I could hazard a guess."

"And your guess would be?" Josiah spoke, his voice even, tone neutral, but his jaw was tight.

Nathan couldn't decide if the big man was angry or not. It was his indecision on the matter that kept him from kicking the big man a second time. Everyone knew he was rather taken with Maude, so it was possible that the Josiah took a dim view of the sudden hostility the mere use of her name inspired. Nathan frowned. [Pretty sure he ain't upset at them being mad at Maude. Well, not too upset anyway. So maybe he knows why they's mad. Damn. That means I'm the only one at this table that don't know. One more mystery.]

Ezra cocked his head to one side, green eyes appraising the ex-preacher. "Based on what little detail Mother saw fit to provide, I would surmise her latest con involves mining, or at the very least, mineral rights of some kind."

"Does she want your help?" Josiah's question was decidedly hesitant, as if he were unsure of how much he was allowed to ask.

"Naturally, Mr. Sanchez." Ezra smirked. "As I have already stated, she would not have bothered to write to me otherwise."

"Don't that woman jus' beat all!" Buck slapped the table. He sent a sharp look toward Ezra. "What are ya gonna tell her?"

Ezra smiled, this time with genuine amusement. "The same thing I always tell her, Mr. Wilmington."

"And that would be?" Chris asked, all but demanding a straight answer. An attitude Nathan readily seconded, although, he was smart enough not to state his opinion out loud. He got the distinct impression Vin was also waiting for that answer.

"I have obligations to fulfill here in Four Corners." Ezra dipped his head to Chris, somehow making the abbreviated motion seem like a gesture of respect and deference. Ezra flashed a genuine smile toward Vin, one that was far more open and honest than what he usually gave the others. Nathan couldn't be sure but he thought the gambler might have winked as well.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Mother will simply have to muddle through without me. As she has no doubt managed to do in the past when I was otherwise unavailable."

Buck chuckled. "Bet she don't like hearing that."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Mr. Wilmington, you have no idea." The gambler shook his head, and heaved a dramatic sigh. "Now then, if you gentlemen are satisfied that the matter of my filial relationship has been adequately addressed, perhaps we could focus our attention on some other topic. I am certain that there is something worth discussing that is far more noteworthy."

Nathan knew Ezra wasn't asking. He was almost always polite about such things, but if the man didn't want to discuss something, he wasn't going to. [Oh, Ezra will talk all right. Use lots and lots o' words, but he won't actually say anythin'. And ya come away wishin' ya had just did like he wanted, and talked about somethin' else.]

Nathan knew he wasn't the only one of their number aware that the subject was closed. But he was honestly surprised when Chris, of all people, picked up the conversation, and redirected it by asking Vin about his patrol. [This day is just full o' surprises.]

Nathan sighed silently. He regretted having ever brought up Maude's letter. It had not been his intention to cause trouble, and he was honestly glad to see the whole situation defuse so quickly.

[With anyone else, askin' about their kin is jus' part o' the normal conversation. Ain't no big deal. Course, Ezra ain't like most folks. Neither is Maude. Jus' have to remember not to bring her name up around the others. Wouldn't mind knowing what it is the rest o' them know. Ain't like Vin to be hostile toward a woman. Buck either. Chris just plain don't like Maude, so I don't imagine it would take anything special ta set him off. Sorta thought Josiah might try to defend her...woulda made a mess o' things if he had though. Might be he knows that.]

The healer let the conversation flow around him, intent on focusing more on the mysteries he'd noticed. He was certain they were connected somehow. Nathan felt like he was trying to put together a puzzle when he'd never seen what the picture was supposed to be. [It's like I got all the numbers, but I can't make them add up to something that means anything.]

Nathan surfaced from his thoughts long enough order his lunch. The others also ordered. The healer was vaguely amused at how such a simple, every day action, seemed to bring about the usual atmosphere of friendly camaraderie. The earlier disruption appeared to have been momentarily forgotten.

Nathan decided the only real solution to his dilemma was to ask someone to fill in what he was missing. He'd already ruled out Vin and Ezra earlier. Although, Nathan was fully aware, that they would be the most logical ones to go to. He just wasn't sure if he'd be able to get a straight answer from either of them.

[That leaves me with Chris, Buck or Josiah.] Nathan frowned slightly as he considered those options, weighing them carefully in his mind. [Don't think Josiah knows it all. Seems ta me, that he'd have been as angry as the others if he knew as much as they did. Man is real taken with Maude, but he's a damn sight more fond o' Ezra than he is o' her. I'm guessin' that he don't know everythin', or Josiah woulda been just as angry as Vin. Well, maybe not as angry as Vin...Don't think any one else was as that angry. When Vin's eyes get that color, the man is downright dangerous. Gotta feeling that ties into whatever is going on 'tween Vin and Ezra.]

Nathan nodded to himself, pleased with having figured out that much. He absently noted that the conversation had drifted from Vin's patrol, to Josiah's work on the church. No one seemed to notice that he wasn't actually participating, which suited Nathan just fine.

Nathan glanced toward Buck and Chris. The two old friends were likely his best bet. [But which one do I ask?] Nathan pursed his lips. In all honesty, he couldn't see Chris saying much. [Man has a lot a respect for other people's privacy. Could just see him tellin' me ta ask Ezra or Vin. Buck, on the other hand, is a bit more apt ta fill me in. Ain't like he's a gossip. It's more like he jus' can't help himself.]

Decision made, Nathan just needed an opportunity to act on it. Buck usually had afternoon patrol. He'd be heading for the livery after lunch. [Can just walk with him. See if I can ask then.]

Buck pushed his plate away with a satisfied sigh. [Nothing like a good meal.] He could never understand how Ezra managed to get by on eating so little. [Ain't no wonder he ain't any bigger than he is.]

The ladies man had kept a discrete eye on the gambler during lunch. He knew Chris and Vin had as well. If Ezra had picked at his meal, they would have known the whole incident with that letter from Maude had bothered him more than he let on. Buck was relieved to see his friend eat as much as he ever did. [Which still ain't much. Boy really should eat a full meal. And leave them greens alone. It's meat and taters that stick ta yer ribs, not them veggies.]

Some part of Buck wondered about what Maude had actually said in her letter. [Damn meddling woman! Ain't natural that a man's ma should be so damn cold. I mean, she leaves him as a kid ta get the crap beat outta him so often he almost can't stand ta let people get close to him, and then she expects him ta just drop everythin' and run ta her.]

Buck shook his head. Most of the time he understood people, women in particular, or thought he did. But Maude was in a class by herself. [Was real glad ta hear Ez say he wasn't going to go. Know Vin was too.]

The tall cowboy was pretty sure a private conversation would ensue between Vin and Ezra at the first opportunity. He hadn't missed the smile Ezra gave Vin. Buck knew it was meant to reassure and calm Vin, but Buck wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't entirely successful. [That look in his eyes...Whooee!! That boy went from all easy going ta ready ta kill in two seconds flat. Knowing Ez, he'll wanna make sure Vin ain't ready to run off and kill Maude. Not that the boy ain't got more than ample reason ta make her suffer, but I can see where Ez wouldn't want him ta do anything to his ma. She might not be any better mother than an alley cat, but hell, she's still his ma.]

Buck had noticed that Nathan seemed a bit subdued shortly after the whole issue was politely, but forcibly, put to rest. He felt bad for the healer, and hoped the other man wasn't thinking he did something wrong in asking about Maude's letter. Buck realized their reaction to his initial question might well have led to that assumption.

[Weren't his fault he don't know how poorly she raised Ezra. He wasn't there when Ezra told me, Chris, and Josiah 'bout his lousy father figures an' how Maude ignored what was going on. Ez didn't tell Josiah any more than he had ta. Don't think Josiah really wanted ta hear any more than he did. Only reason I got to know more was 'cause I was dumb enough ta ask after Josiah left, and Ezra felt like he had ta give me an answer. Guess he thought his damn near shootin' Josiah meant he owed both of us as many answers as we wanted. Can't see him volunteering more information ta Nathan or JD. An' Ez wouldn't say anything if they don't know enough ta ask. He's like that with almost everything.]

Buck figured Nathan must have realized there was no blame to place when he joined in their conversation as the meal progressed. [Gotta admit, I like us eatin' together. Don't recall who's idea it was for us ta do this regular like, but real glad we do.] Their eating together reminded Buck of where he lived growing up. All the ladies made time to sit down together, and talk. It was a great way to stay connected when so much of their lives seemed to be lived in isolation.

Buck pushed his chair away from the table. "Time for me ta get ta work. I'll be seein' you boys later."

Chris and Vin simply nodded to him. Josiah gave his usual, 'be careful, brother'. Ezra smiled slightly, and bid Mr. Wilmington a good day. Buck shook his head at that. [Wonder sometimes if that boy is ever gonna call me Buck. He calls Chris by his first name a bit more often now, but not too often. And I've heard him call Vin by his first name. Mostly when it's just the four o' us though. He don't do it too often in public otherwise. Still it seems way too damn formal. If he'd lighten up, and call us all by our first names, nobody would think anythin' of him usin' Vin's. Might have ta say something to him 'bout using my first name. Ain't like we's strangers for crying out loud.]

Nathan also pushed his chair back from the table. "Got some stuff ta do in the clinic." He looked askance at Buck. "Ya mind if I walk along with ya?"

Buck grinned. "More the merrier."

They left the restaurant together, heading for the livery. Buck tipped his hat to several of the ladies they past, smiling and greeting them as usual. He glanced at Nathan. The man seemed deeply in thought about something.

"Nate?"

"Yeah, Buck?"

"Ya got something heavy weighin' on your mind." He observed. "You ain't fretting over that letter thing are ya now?"

Nathan shrugged one shoulder. "Was thinking may I should apologize to Ezra for bringing it up." The black man looked at Buck, his expression uncertain. "I didn't think it would cause any trouble."

Buck waved a hand in dismissal. "I wouldn't worry about it, Nate. And I don't think Ezra's mad at ya. If he were, you'd be the first ta know." [Ol' Ez might be polite, and all gentlemen like, but won't hesitate ta let a body know when he's over stepped his bounds.]

Nathan sighed. "What I don't understand is why the rest of you were so mad."

"We weren't mad." Buck stated quickly. "Least wise, not at you, Nate." Buck's innate sense of honesty forced him to add. [Blind man could tell Vin was upset.]

Nathan gave him a hard look. "Buck, I know angry when I see it. Hell, Chris looked ready ta chew nails and spit tacks." The healer shivered. "And Vin... Lord, but I'm sure he was ready to hurt her."

Nathan shook his head. "But I just don't understand why." He sent a quizzical look toward Buck. "I mean, Maude's last visit weren't so great, but I don't remember her doin' anything ta warrant that reaction. I know she brought some trouble with her, but a woman like her always brings some trouble."

[More than you know, Nathan. More than you know.] Buck sighed, realizing that might well be the heart of the problem right there. Nathan didn't know what the rest of them did. Buck debated the dilemma in his head for a moment. [Ain't my place ta say. Had enough trouble with Chris when I opened my big mouth when I shouldn't have. Can't see Ez being any more forgiving.]

Buck shook his head, as he headed into the shadowed confines of the livery, Nathan still walking beside him. "Thing is, Nate, it ain't my place ta say." He moved toward Lady's stall, laying a blanket across her back, smoothing it with his hands, before turning to face the healer. "Ya wanna know? Then it would be best ta talk to Ez."

Nathan made a face. "I don't think he'd give me a straight answer. Man just weasels his way around things."

Buck immediately clamped down on his initial reaction. He knew there was some bad blood in the past between the healer and the gambler, but he honestly thought they were working their way past it. At times like these, he had to remind himself that they were not all the way there yet. He took a deep breath, and forced himself to think before he spoke.

[Patience. Lord, just give me a little.] "Nathan," Buck said quietly, his attention focused on the other man, trying very hard not to reveal too much irritation. "Ezra answers every question ya ask. But only the question you ask. Figure out what it is you want to know before you ask the question. And if you don't understand what he's saying, then ask again."

Nathan scowled. "He doesn't have to make it hard." The healer sounded a bit like a petulant child.

Buck rolled his eyes. "And he don't have to make it easy either, Nate. Bein' pushy about a man's past is just asking for trouble. Don't matter who the man is. You know that."

Buck picked up his saddle and set it in place, before turning to look at Nathan again, pinning him in place with a hard look. "Ezra has never asked you about your past. Never forced you to tell him anything you didn't want to, or talk about stuff you'd rather leave alone. Would be best if you returned the favor."

Nathan sighed, his expression turning apologetic. "I don't mean...." Nathan took a breath and tried again. "Buck, I just don't want to make the same mistake twice. If I don't even know what I did wrong this time, how am I supposed ta keep from doing it again?"

[Good point.] "Ask Ezra." It was really the only advice he had to give.

"Can I ask him about what's going on between him and Vin too?"

Buck froze in the act of tightening his cinch. [Well, I guess if I noticed something, then someone else was bound to at some point. Kind o' surprised no else has noticed 'fore now.]

Buck nodded slowly, and resumed securing his saddle. "That would probably be for the best, Nate. Could ask Vin if you'd rather not talk to Ezra. But it'll have to be one o' them."

[Wonder if I should give the boys a heads up. Probably ought to. Don't think Nate added things up the way I did, but don't know that for sure. Hard ta say how he'll handle it when he finally knows the whole story.]

Buck sent a silent prayer heavenward that Nathan wouldn't be one of those prejudiced types who thought love could only happen between a man and a woman. [Would make things pretty damn rough 'round here if he is. Almost a damn shame that Ezra agreed not ta lie when someone asks. Can see why sometimes it would be easier. A lot easier.]

Buck sighed silently, and mentally slapped himself. [No point in borrowing trouble. I know better. Hell, if Chris can handle it, no reason ta think Nate can't.]

Nathan handed Lady's bridle to Buck. "You sure you can't just tell me?"

Buck chuckled. He could sympathize, knowing that he'd chosen to go to Chris first rather than jump right in with Vin or Ezra. But he'd made a promise, and he had no intention of breaking it.

"Sorry, Nate. There are some things ya just have to suck up and be a man about. And this is one o' them."

Buck swung into the saddle. He smiled at Nathan and tipped his hat. "Don't be too surprised when ya go to ask one, that you end up talkin' ta both." He didn't think that little warning was out of line. [Man ought to know what he's gonna face if he decides to take this on.]

Nathan nodded. "Sort of figured that might be the case."

Buck gently touched his heels to Lady's sides. He ducked his head as he rode out of the livery. [Well, if nothing else, I'll have something to think on while I'm riding patrol.]

Continue