I had a score to settle. And even as I burst through the doubled doors to Josiah's beloved church, I knew that I could very well lose the little self respect I had left should the forthcoming confrontation go badly.

But I needed answers and the only way to get them was to go to the source. To the one of six men I had allowed to slip under my defenses. The one who had both frightened me and given me the shelter of his faith, the support of his convictions so many times in the past.

Only to leave me high and dry, twisting in the wind when I needed his stability the most.

I found him sitting as so many times before on the first bench before the altar, candles lit, the feeble flickers lending all but no light to the darkened room. The shades were drawn closed, the little light that escaped the morning sun into the church doing little ease the gloom the large man surrounded himself with.

"I came to you, Josiah." In my distraught state I found myself unable to resort to the formal resitation of his name. "You who always said you never closed your doors to those that had need of you. I came to you and you turned away, turned your back on me."

Still he did not turn. But I needed him to see me.

I stalked until I was even with his perch on the bench.

"You knew I would be unable to resist the lure of that money, didn't you?" It was unfair and even as I threw the accusation at him, I knew in an instant it was true.

"I knew."

"Then why?" I wanted to shout at the man before me, so strong, so sure in his own moral fiber, why would he torment me so? Why would he deny me the comfort I needed so badly and instead throw me the one thing that would only serve to sink me deeper in the mire of the others mistrust?

His sigh was gratifying for beyond my anger of his imagined betrayal, I heard an echo of my own pain in the heavy sound. When he spoke, his hand was on his head as if warding off the very demons I felt inhabiting my body; the one who had moved my hands to treacherous acts. The ones that almost prevented me from saving Mrs Travis' life and ended up saving mine instead.

"Had a dream." The low tones carried easily in the deserted church. "Bout money. Temptation."

That was simply not something I had expected to hear from our very own rock of morality. "You, Josiah?" My words held a hint of disbelief and the dark side of myself to which I enveriably succumbed in my more shameful moments of weakness rose to the fore and I made a mockery of my friend's pain.

"You were tempted...in the safety of a dream?" I scoffed, knowing I was being unfair and unable to do anything less. "And for that you forsake me?"

"I was frightened...but I wasn't tempted."

I know. I know perfetly well what you're thinking.

But something in that sad statement - the solemn words spoken so gravely and without so much as a tiny spark or hint of hope would not let me still my tongue.

"Why not, Josiah?" In my own pain, I taunted him. " Just what is it about you that would allow you to resist what us mere mortals fear to so much as contemplate?"

I moved forward, just enough to be able to see his eyes, downcast as they were in his own torment. I needed to see them for my own sake. To end my own self-imposed Hell.

I needn't have bothered move a'tall. For even I heard the antagonism and yes even scorn in my tone, the words out before I could take them back. Even if I could, I found that I would not. I needed to hear the answer too badly to offer the small bit of solace the absense of my words might bring.

Even in his sadness, Josiah's eyes where smiling, the brightness a contrast to the painful grimace of his lips that pressed into a parody of a smile. But as he stood, he faced me truely and I found myself drawn, drowning in the depth, the weight of his gaze.

"Simple, Ezra," he told me with a shrug. And a look that lingered measuring into the very depths of my misbegotten soul. "I wasn't tempted with the one thing I truely wanted."

Then those eyes, those beautiful blue orbs so often filled with compassion and understanding for the masses rested fully, gloriously on me. There was such a peace there that for one moment I truely did not understand what it was that the man was offering me. When I realized - when I finally understood what it was Josiah was confessing to me - well, I must admit I was floored.

Scared.

Terrified.

And no power on God's Earth could have moved me away from that spot.

Away from him.

"Truely?" I heard my own voice, thick with accent and emotion lowered in the dust laden stillness of the church and I moved ever forward until I was but a hairs breath away from the one man who's trust I had betrayed. Because he was the only man who's trust I had been freely given.

Josiah tilted his head down a touch, his gaze locked with mine. "Yep."

It was that moment, that one instant when I realized that I would always have that trust, no matter that I had searched myself as he suggested and failed. For in that moment I knew exactly what it was that Josiah Sanchez feared.

For it was the same devil that haunted my nightmares and chased my waking dreams of a better life.

Failure, shame, weakness. Dishonesty to one's self perhaps moreso than to one's peers for not knowing the weaknesses that damned your own soul could one day end up costing someone you loved their own.

In my own weakness I had come to Josiah to give me comfort, to assure me of his faith in me as I had none in myself. Only to have been given his own burden to bear; which just cooincidentally happened to match mine.

"And just what was it that you are feared to be tempted with, Josiah?" I asked him now, a dawning light in my own eyes I'm sure, even though my heart was pounding and my uncertainty and fear threatened to steal my voice along with my words.

"You."

The rough word scraped across my resolve, wearing it thin and breaking it apart as if it were nothing more than a gossamer web caught in the winds playing tag outside. Low and husky, it beat against my ears sweeter than summer lemonade, more welcome than the pain of the bullet meant for someone else that almost ended my life. Would have if I had not been what the others had expected of me to be.

But the time for words had passed. It was action on which I now relied, reaching up to brush my lips against his. Softly, achingly, I pulled away and opened eyes I had not realized I had closed, only to find he was doing the same.

I had to say something, before he could turn away. "Temptation enough?" I was appalled by the way my voice shook, the sultry drawl I had attempted degraded to mere rasp and desperation.

The grey curls tilted thoughtfully before the smile broke through again. And this time the sparkle in those blue eyes matched the one shining off his teeth, exposed in the wide happy grin. "Too much for one man to resist I'm afraid."

With that he kissed me; soft, warm, temperance and strength in one and I may never desire to come up for air. When those tender lips and strong teeth sought out my neck above the starched collar I wore, the powerful arms surrounded me with their strength and protection I was sure he was quite correct.

Unlike the other, more paltry things in life, this was one temptation I would never grow tired of, nor, frankly, ever try to resist. For in this, with Josiah, even should we try and fail...

We still win.