I Want Love

by Jo Ann
Lady Seven's Corner Table

This is a song fic. It can be found on Elton John's CD 'Songs From the West Side.'


When Ezra walked into his condo his eyes went to the CD laying on the coffee table. He'd heard a song from that CD on the radio and it had immediately struck a frighteningly familiar cord within him. So frightening in fact, that four days later Ezra had yet to open it. It was still wrapped in plastic.

Keeping his eyes on the CD Ezra walked over and laid his briefcase on his desk. After laying his keys down he broke out of his trance and headed for his room to have a quick shower. Stepping back in the room a little while later Ezra made sure he didn't even glance at the CD as he headed for the kitchen to find something to eat.

He stood in front of the refrigeration trying in vain to find something he wanted, but there was nothing. Slamming the door shut Ezra yanked opened the freezer door and pulled out a carton of ice cream. Grabbing a spoon he walked into the livingroom making straight for the liquor cabinet. Ten year old scotch and Neapolitan ice cream made the perfect supper.

Sitting on the couch he took a large swallow of scotch then a bite of ice cream staring at the CD the whole time.

"Aww hell," he mumbled around the spoon in his mouth. Snatching up the CD Ezra tore the plastic off the swore as he tried to get the sticky strip off his fingers. Finally he stuck the strip to a magazine then got to his feet. Walking over to his CD player he inserted the CD and programed it so that it would only play that one song. Over and over again.

Flopping down on the couch Ezra took another swallow of scotch the a bite of ice cream and listened as the music started.

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated.

Another swallow of scotch. Another spoon of ice cream.

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart.

More of scotch. Less ice cream.

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I wanna a love that, don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love.

Larger swallow of scotch. Even less ice cream.

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

Even larger swallow of scotch. Merely licking the spoon.

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough...

Just scotch. No ice cream.

I wanna a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

Only scotch. And one lone tear. One lone thought of a love that will never be. This song a perfect example of why Vin Tanner could never love someone like him.

Ezra laid stretched out on the couch listening to this one song and drinking scotch until he finished off the bottle and passed out.


The next morning Vin glanced at the clock just like he did every morning in anticipation. He knew that any minute now the elevator would ding and Ezra would stroll through the door. After Vin got his daily fix he could begin his day.

Hearing the ding Vin sat up and twisted his chair around ready to bid his secret love good morning. But Ezra wasn't there. Getting to his feet Vin walked to the door and looked out into the hall, but didn't see him. Shrugging his shoulders he stepped back in the office and sat back down at his desk. Ez must be running late, he thought to himself.

"Where the hell is Ezra?!" Chris bellowed half an hour later.

"I'll go check on him," Vin quickly volunteered as he jumped to his feet.

"We'll come with you," Josiah said indicating himself and Nathan.

"You know Ezra ani't gonna like it if a bunch of people show up over there," the Texan countered.

"Well, then I'll go," Nathan offered.

"If you show up he's gonna get all defensive and not tell us shit," Vin told them. "I'll go and call ya if I need ya," he said then headed for the door before anyone could object.

He's fine. That's what Vin told himself over and over again until he pulled up behind Ezra's Jag. Stepping from the truck he walked up to the door and frown as he thought he heard music. After about the tenth knock Vin pulled out his key and eased the door open. He was damned glad that Nathan had insisted that each of them had the other's house key.

When he didn't see anything out of place he stepped into the condo. Pushing the door shut then out of habit locked it. Vin looked at the stereo then saw Ezra on the couch with an empty bottle tucked under his arm.

"Aww Ezra," he whispered then pulled out his phone. "He's fine. Maude must have called 'cause he's passed out on the couch," Vin told Chris. "Look I'm gonna stay here with him and we'll see ya on Monday."

Hanging up the phone Vin removed his blue jean jacket and walked over to the stereo. Then for first time realized that Ezra had been listening to same song over and over again. Vin felt his breath catch as he listened to the words.

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated.

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart.

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I wanna a love that, don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love.

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough...

I wanna a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

Vin felt tears sting his eyes and he took a deep calming breath then pushed the power button. He hoped this meant what he wanted it to mean. Wiping his tears away Vin went and knelt beside the couch. With a gentle hand he removed the bottle then brushed the hair from Ezra's brow. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to his forehead and savored the moment.

"Ezra," he said as he gave the man a gentle shake. "Time to wake up." No response. "Come on, Ez." Vin was rewarded this time as he saw those green eyes blink open.

"Vin?" Ezra croaked out.

"Yeah, come on let's get you cleaned up."

"Cleaned up? Why?"

"Because you need it," Vin said as he pulled him to his feet. When Ezra stumbled Vin pulled him close so that their bodies touched. He smiled into those green and would have kissed him if he hadn't smelled of sour whiskey.

"Shower with me?" Ezra softly whispered.

Vin didn't know what to say to that so he took Ezra hand and lead him through the master bedroom then to the bathroom. He held his breath as he watched Ezra quickly stripped. Oh, God, he silently groaned as he looked his fill of the body in front of him.

I'm not gonna take advantage of him, Vin told himself. I'm gonna wait right here. Right here where... he could see... Ezra's body... through the... shower door. Right here... where he could look and not touch what he body screamed for him too. Right here... where he saw Ezra lose his balance and almost fall.

Vin couldn't have Ezra hurting himself. Not when he was right here... to help him. Tearing his clothes off he stepped into the shower and felt his body responded immediately as a glistening wet Ezra turned to face him.


Every trace of alcohol left Ezra's system as he mapped the delectable body in front of him. Taking a step closer he decided that he wasn't going to let his old scars keep him from taking a chance to be with this man. He didn't want to feel cold anymore. Didn't want to feel nothing anymore... he wanted to feel everything. He knew that this man wouldn't fence him. Knew that with this man he could love without restraint. He didn't want love on his own terms... he wanted... needed love on their terms. Ezra didn't want just anyone's love... he only wanted Vin's.

Placing a hand on the wall on either side of him Ezra leaned closer then with tears in his eyes whispered, "I love you, Vin."

"Oh, God, Ezra," Vin moaned and pressed his body into Ezra's. "I love you too."

Ezra breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped his hand around Vin's staff at the same time that Vin took him into his. Burying their faces in the other's neck they relished the feelings pulsing through their bodies. They both moaned deep in their throats and erupted after only a few strokes. Without removing his hand Ezra kissed and nipped his way up Vin's neck. Then across his jaw leaving a fiery trail behind. He paused a hairs breath away from his lips waiting for those indigo eyes to open.

Seeing the love in Vin's passion darkened eyes Ezra allowed his own love the shine forth. They then sealed their love with a searing kiss that had them both springing back to life.

"I love you," Vin mumbled against his lips then began planting kisses all over his face.

Ezra pulled back and with a happy grin on his face said, "I love you too." He had never felt so happy. "Let me turn the water off and we'll take this someplace a little more comfortable," he promised. Ezra moaned as he felt Vin step up behind him as he bent to turn the water off.

"I need ya now Ezra," Vin growled as he pressed closer.

The Southerner threw the shower door opened and stepped out with Vin right behind him. Reaching for a towel Ezra quickly dried them off. Then just did manage to catch the Texan as he jumped in his arms. Vin wrapped both legs around his waist and with a cheek in each hand Ezra carried his future into the other room and laid him down on the bed.

In a frenzy of need they writhed and rubbed against each other both knowing their hunger would never let them endure anything more at the moment. They both knew that there would be time later for them to learn all the secret spots. To learn just how long to tease. How long to they could stay as one.


Across town the others sat at the conference table eating lunch.

"So do you think they finally came to their senses?" JD asked then took a bite of his burger.

"I certainly hope so," Buck whined. "It's damned near exhausting just watching those two hide their feelings."

"Those two are good for each other," Nathan said.

"They have a lot more in common then most people think," Chris stated as he chewed on a French fry.

"Two halves of the same whole," Josiah added. "What one lacks the other makes up for. It's a perfect balance."

"Yeah, and they're both sassy enough to keep the passion burning forever," Buck said with a huge grin.

The End.


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