A little language and lots of chocolate-covered sex. Thanks go to Mog for creating the ATF-AU and letting others play. This is present for all the folks who have been wanting Chocolate Covered Ezra's. (I know that Christmas is past, but I never could work with a deadline.)

"Where the hell are they?" Chris Larabee demanded, stalking back and forth in front of the gaily-decorated Christmas tree that dominated the den of his log house. "All they had to bring was one chocolate pie. One pie between them and they're three hours late!"

Josiah and Nathan exchanged looks and sighed.

"Well, we are talking about Vin and Ezra," Josiah ventured.

Larabee turned to glare at him but the simple comment had his annoyance turning to worry.

Vin Tanner and Ezra Standish had racked up an impressive list of injuries and mishaps in the two and a half years since they had joined Larabee's team. Granted, Standish was the best undercover operative any of them had ever seen and Tanner was the best sharpshooter, but the two men had an intimate relationship with the Murphy of Murphy's Law.

Send them undercover to apprehend a world-class arms dealer and they would emerge unscathed. Send them to the store for a package of coffee filters and they would somehow manage to land in the hospital, especially if they went to the store together.

The more innocuous the task, the more likely they would get hurt. Nothing could be more innocuous than buying a chocolate crème pie.

Larabee groaned. "Nathan, start calling the hospitals. Buck, check with Denver PD. Josiah, the Highway Patrol. JD, hit the computer, see what you can find. Concentrate on any crimes involving a bakery."

EARLIER THAT MORNING

Wearing nothing but a pair of dark-green, silk pajama bottoms, Ezra Standish was sitting on his sofa, drinking his first cup of coffee of the day. It was mid-morning but he didn't have to be at Chris' ranch for the annual Christmas Eve celebration until noon.

The doorbell rang.

With a groan, he forced himself up off of his comfortable sofa and went to answer it.

He checked through the peephole and groaned again. Vin Tanner stood there grinning, with a grocery bag in his arms. Oh, this was just what he needed! His favorite person in the world, the object of his unrequited love, showing up on his doorstep and him wearing nothing but a thin pair of silk pajama pants to hide his attraction to the other man.

Admonishing his cock to behave itself, Ezra opened the door.

Vin breezed past him. "Hi, Ez." The grin widened at the sight of Ezra's bare chest. Hummm. Like that.

"Mister Tanner," Ezra replied. Then his eyes went to the grocery bag, "What is that?"

"The stuff to make the pie," Vin blithely informed him as he headed for the kitchen. He sat the bag on the table and began pulling out the items in it. "I got chocolate fudge pudding, a chocolate graham pie crust and whipped crème," he held up an aerosol can and shook it, before sitting it down and pulling out a second can just like it. "I got chocolate milk, chocolate sprinkles and chocolate syrup!" He turned and held up the last triumphantly.

"Mister Tanner, we are not making a pie! I fully intend to stop at the bakery on the way to Mister Larabee's and buy a pie," Ezra informed him.

"Aw, Ezzzzzzzzzzz," Vin began in a pleading tone, "Please... we won't even hav'ta bake it. It's a refrigerator pie. I got the recipe right here." He held up a tub of Cool Whip.

Ezra frowned. "Mister Tanner, why do you have whipped crème and Cool Whip?"

"Cause, the recipe was on the Cool Whip but I like the canned whipped crème better."

"We're supposed to be at Mister Larabee's in less than two hours..."

"This won't take long." Vin turned pleading blue eyes on Ezra.

Ezra hesitated. He could resist almost anything... except Vin Tanner. He couldn't deny his partner anything. Oh, how I wish we were more than just partners at work.

He sighed. "Very well. What do you need me to do?"

"You mix up the pudding. Three cups of milk and two packages of pudding make the filling. Supposed to be ready to put in the crust after five minutes in the fridge."

Ezra grabbed the box of pudding and read the instructions off the box. "The instructions on the box call for one and three-fourths cups of milk per package for a pie."

"We're using the other recipe. The one on the Cool Whip. Three cups of milk for two packages of pudding."

"Oh, all right!" Ezra muttered and went to find the wire whisk that the instructions said for him to use to mix the milk and pudding.

Five minutes later he sat the bowl of pudding in the refrigerator to set. Turning around he saw Vin holding the can of whipped crème up to his face squirting cream into his mouth.

"Mister Tanner! That is gross!"

Vin swallowed then looked up at him. "It's good, Ez." A mischievous grin crossed his face, "Want some?" Blue eyes sparkled and suddenly he aimed the can at Ezra and squirted him with the whipped crème, hitting him squarely in the middle of his sculpted chest.

Ezra let out an indignant squawk. "Eyoooooollll! That's cold!"

He grabbed up the other can and retreated around the table while he shook it up, then the fight was on.

Streams of white, whipped cream sailed across the kitchen, settling onto the table, chairs and floor as the two men dueled.

Shouts of laughter rang through the usually quiet apartment.

Vin ducked behind the breakfast bar and made his way to the other end, jumping up to catch Ezra from behind as Ezra snuck towards the point where Vin had ducked down.

Ezra spun and Vin suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a barrage of crème. As he started to return fire he realized that he was out of ammo.

Diving for the table, he swept up the bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup and returned to the fray.

Ezra ducked but wasn't quite quick enough and ended up with chocolate syrup running down his face and dripping on his chest which was already smeared with whipped crème. He popped back up and shot a stream of whipped crème at Vin only to have it turn to a dribble as the can ran out.

Eyes going wide at the triumphant gleam in Vin's eyes, Ezra backpedaled towards the living room.

Vin pursued him, laughing as he soaked Ezra down with chocolate syrup.

Ezra turned, deciding that the best defense was a good offense and grabbed the sharpshooter's arm, wrestling with him for possession of the squirt bottle of chocolate, managing to get a good bit of chocolate on them both in the process.

Then Vin hooked a leg behind Ezra's and tripped him down to the floor. Standing over the smaller man who had curled into a protective ball, he proceeded to coat him in Hershey's Chocolate Syrup.

As soon as the bottle was empty Ezra rolled to his feet and started down the hall towards the bathroom but Vin tackled him, taking him down and they began to wrestle on the hall floor.

Ezra wiggled and squirmed, starting to laugh helplessly as Vin began tickling him. Finally Vin had him pinned and was lying on top of him, holding his arms pinned to the floor over his head.

Ezra gasped as he looked up into the shining blue eyes. He felt his cock harden as his body betrayed him. Trying to focus on something else, anything but the feel of Vin's body pressing him down into the carpet, he said, trying to sound annoyed, "Do you know how hard it is to get chocolate out of silk, Mister Tanner?"

"Nope... and my name is Vin."

"Well it's...."

Vin leaned closer, his face almost touching Ezra's, "Don't care. I'm gonna lick ya clean. I love chocolate..." He leaned in and licked on the long smear of chocolate left by his first blitz attack.

Ezra shuddered under him, raising his hips to bring his erection into contact with Vin's.

Vin grinned at the reaction. He leaned in even closer to suck on a chocolate covered earlobe. "And I love you." He whispered.

"Oh, Lord!" Ezra moaned as he felt Vin's erection slide over his own. He was lost. He knew that. He'd let Vin Tanner do anything he wanted... and thank God for every moment he had with him.

Vin licked his way down Ezra's neck and across his chest to one chocolate-coated nipple, sucking on it hungrily. Lifting his head, his bright blue eyes locked on Ezra's green ones as he slid back up Ezra's body to claim his mouth in a searing kiss.

After a thorough exploration of his partner's mouth he leaned back just enough to murmur, "Ain't nothing better'n a chocolate crème pie 'cepting a chocolate covered Ezra. Been wantin' one a'them for a while. Dreamin' bout coverin' ya in whipped crème and chocolate and lickin' ya clean. Wanted ya so much. Couldn't take it no more." He hesitated looking down into Ezra's face, his voice was hoarse with need, "If... if ya don't want this, ya need to tell me now. While I can still stop."

"Oh, Vin. Don't stop. Don't ever stop. I've loved you almost since the first time I saw you. I want this. I want you... please."

"Oh, yeah." Vin went back to licking chocolate off Ezra's face, slowly, lovingly cleaning him with his tongue. "Gonna please you, Baby. Gonna make you feel so good." He licked his way down Ezra's chest to his stomach and began to push the pajama pants down as he licked the chocolate from Ezra's navel.

Ezra was moaning incoherently by the time Vin's mouth closed on his erection.

Buck hung up his cell phone and turned to Chris, "Uh, Chris... that was Denver PD. They found Vin's jeep."

"Where?" The blonde leader demanded, turning to him.

Buck stepped back slightly, "Uh... at Ezra's."

"What?"

"It's parked in front of Ezra's townhouse." Buck replied warily.

"I tried both their cell phones..." Larabee's voice had a dangerous edge to it.

"Well, you know how Vin is about forgetting his.... Fact is, Denver PD said it's lying in the front seat of the jeep." Buck edged a little farther away from the irritated leader.

"Ez's is at the office. Won't hold a charge. I'm supposed to see if I can fix it for him." JD put in.

"He keeps the ringers turned off on his regular phone, lets the answering machine get it." Josiah reminded him as Chris reached for his phone.

"If they're at Ezra's, why the hell haven't they let us know why they're late?" Chris roared. Then, throwing up his hands, he headed for the door, grabbing his jacket on the way out. "They better be dead... cause if they're not, I'm going to kill them!"

The others exchanged looks and tossed aside whatever they were doing to grab their coats and hurry after him.

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! He was going to die of pure unmitigated pleasure. First, Vin had loved him slowly and tenderly on the hallway floor, kissing, licking and sucking on every inch of his body, then his partner had carried him into the bedroom and loved him again, passionately.

Then it had been his turn. He had explored every marvelous, whipped crème and chocolate-coated inch of his beloved sharpshooter. Wonder had filled him when Vin had begged to be taken in turn. While he had often dreamed of being taken by the other man, Ezra had never dared to hope that Vin would offer him that. But Vin had and it had been incredible... but not as incredible as this.

Ezra moaned deep in his throat. His hands knotted in the forest-green, silk sheets on his bed. He spread his thighs wider, opening himself up more, encouraging Vin's hard driving thrusts. Oh, Lord! He could swear he heard bells.

The whole bed shook, the headboard hammering into the wall with every pounding stroke.

BAMM, BAMM, BAMM, BAMM.

Ezra trembled and shook, burying his face in the soft feather bed as he felt Vin stiffen behind him. His own climax overtook him. He shuddered and the muscles gripping Vin's cock within his nether passage spasmed, clamping down around his lover's member.

Vin growled deep in his throat and hunched over Ezra's back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as his blood roared in his head, drowning out everything else as he came.

They collapsed in an exhausted heap, unconsciousness threatening as Vin rolled to the side taking Ezra with him. They lay gasping as their breathing and heart rates slowly returned to normal, drifting in the afterglow of fantastic sex, completely wrapped up in each other, blind and deaf to the world around them.

While Buck leaned on the doorbell, Chris resorted to pounding on the door.

BAMM, BAMM, BAMM, BAMM.

"Brothers, perhaps we should use the spare key... I'm sure that if they were in there and able to come to the door, they would have by now," Josiah said quite reasonably.

Chris stepped back and pulled out the key ring with the spare keys to all his men's homes on it. "JD, you know the alarm code. Get it as soon as we're in. No need in bringing the whole DPD down here."

"I'm on it." JD grinned, proud that Chris had asked him to deal with the alarm.

Chris quickly inserted the key, turned it and pushed the door open in one smooth motion. He stepped through, JD on his heels.

The younger agent quickly turned to the alarm box beside the door before the state of the room registered. He punched the code in and turned back to find their leader gaping at the sight before him.

His mouth dropped open as the rest pushed their way in behind them. The wall of the living room near the hallway leading to the bedrooms was smeared with something dark. There was a large stain on the hallway carpet just beyond the living room.

"Is that...?" The youngest member of the group started to ask, not sure what the stain was.

"Not blood." Nathan stated confidently. "Too brown."

Buck strode across the room to where he could get a better look and glanced into the kitchen. He laughed suddenly. "Chocolate!" He grinned, turning back to the others. "Kitchen looks like ground zero for a whipped crème and chocolate war!"

Chris growled and headed for the hallway. He tripped over something and reached down to snatch it up off the carpet. He found himself staring at a pair of dark-green, silk pajama bottoms.

He took another step down the hall then stopped.

The pajama bottoms were liberally coated with chocolate. Ezra's pajama pants... liberally coated with chocolate. Chris had seen Ezra wear the pajamas before, when Chris'd had to literally drag the southerner out of his bed and take him in to work. Ezra. Chocolate. A chocolate Ezra. Oh, NO! That was not something he was ready to see.

He took a step backwards.

His cock jerked. It was ready to see a chocolate Ezra... eager even.

He took a step towards the bedroom.

No. Vin... he's with Vin.

He stepped back again.

The rest of his team stood gaping as they watched their usually decisive leader rocking back and forth in the hallway, Ezra's chocolate-splattered, pajama bottoms clutched in his hand.

Buck sidled up to him, "Chris? Uh, Old Dog, you wanna make a decision here? Ya want I should---"

Chris spun to face him, visions of the ever-amorous Buck inviting himself into the bedroom and maybe even into the bed with Vin and Ezra danced in his head. Jealousy flared. "NO! You're not gonna do anything!"

He turned to the others. "We're leaving. Now." It was an order.

"But... uh," JD began, "Maybe we should leave'em a note or something..." he trailed off as Chris gave him a glare, "...or maybe not...." He backed towards the door, stopping to reset the alarm as Chris stalked past him, still clutching Ezra's pajama bottoms.

The others filed passed. Josiah and Nathan had amused looks on their faces. Buck was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Chris stalked to his black Ram and climbed in, only noticing he still had Ezra's pajama bottoms in his hand when he started looking for his key. He tossed them on the dash as the others climbed in and he cranked the truck.

"You know, Old Dog..." Buck reached for the pajama pants only to have Chris growl at him.

"Not a word, Buck. Not. One. Word," He snarled.

"Ohhhh, 'kay."

JD reached up from the back seat and thumped Buck on the back of the head. "That was a word, Buck." He grinned, delighted to finally get to thump Buck on the head.

To Be Continued in 'Tis the Season To Be....